SUMMARY: Charlie is an ordinary teenage boy with a secret wish to dress up in his twin sister's school uniform. Now he is blessed with a rare day at home to himself, allowing him to bask in his deepest desires for the very first time. It is this occassion that kicks off a craze that develops into something so much more as the pleasurable sensations of female clothing takes him into its warm embrace.

The thump of the car door made Charlie open his eyes. The sound of a second door slamming made him sit upright in the bed like a startled squirrel. He listened carefully. The ignition jerked several times before the engine started up. He was still as a statue as he listened to the low rumble of the car reversing out of the driveway. He scurried across the blankets, jumped off the side of the bed and stumbled over a pile of books on the floor towards the window. He parted the curtains and looked down to see his mother’s hatchback van driving away down the street.

His heart skipped a beat, then, a smile slowly spread across his face as sudden realisation dawned upon him. His mother, Mary and his sister, Rachel were gone into town for the day. He was home alone for the entire day and he knew that he could do anything he wanted. He closed the curtains and turned, looking around at his messy room as he scratched his hair heavy head, thinking of possibly inviting his friends over. He could eat and watch television all he wanted. He could spend the entire day in town without his mother wondering where he was.

Yet, he did not wish to do any of these ‘’normal’’ activities. He knew what he wanted. Something he had desired to do for a long time. Something he wanted more than anything but he was never given a chance to do so.

He ruffled his brown hair as he walked towards the door, dressed in only a t-shirt and boxer shorts. He waddled down the stairs, feeling as if butterflies were fluttering about in his stomach. He sat at the kitchen table, munching on a bowl of cereal with his eye constantly on the clock. It was 08:57.a.m.

As soon as he finished breakfast, he grabbed two oranges from the fruit basket and ran upstairs. He went to the bathroom, urinated, and brushed his teeth. He stripped down naked and hopped in the warm, steamy shower. He let the water pour down over his long, shaggy hair as the shampoo cleansed it softly. He scrubbed himself down from head to toe until he looked and felt spotless.

He got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and tip toed down the hall to his bedroom, leaving trails of water behind him. His teeth chattered as the cold air got hold of his warm wet body. He closed the bedroom door behind him and began to dry himself. He then walked to his mother’s bedroom, naked and bare to use her hairdryer. Using the hairdryer was the only way he could dry his soaked hair without it curling. He hated it when it curled.

The second he was done, his stomach lurched with excitement. He felt as if he was floating down the hallway, passing his bedroom door, the bathroom and the spare master bedroom until he reached the last door, his sister’s bedroom. He placed his hand on the handle, uncertainty swelling up.

What if I’m caught - but then again how could I? Charlie thought. I’m home alone all day!

He looked down the hall, then slowly pushed the handle down, and gently nudged his sister’s bedroom door open. It creaked. The room was tidy, bright, and well lit. A double bed was placed in the centre of the room, draped in white blankets and sheets with red polka dots. A large wooden wardrobe was placed in the corner, beside the window where a desk was situated, stacked with piles of books and school items. The walls were painted light yellow with posters of boy-bands, teen idols, famous actors along with a lot of puppy and teddy bear pictures. On the right wall to the bed was a makeup station, stocked with tubes of lipstick, eyeliner, eye shadow, nail polish, makeup sets, lip-gloss, boxes of rings, earrings, necklaces, pearls and the likes.

The placed reeked of girliness. It made Charlie feel incredibly out of place and even a little intruding. His sister must never know. He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him and turning the key, just in case. He took a deep breath as he looked around the room. If he looked like anything at that moment, it would be a little boy, gazing at a never-ending toy store which was open for him to play in for as long as he liked. He looked at the wardrobe coyly, feeling guilty in defying his morals just to bask in a pool of pleasures.

Then, he felt as if somebody nodded and smiled, saying it was okay to let himself free. The larger half told him ‘’he deserved it’’ after the never-ending wait. He pranced across the room, his towel wrapped around his waist as he plunged into the soft cushiony bed. The faint whiff of perfume filled his nose as he breathed in the feminine atmosphere. He closed his eyes and smiled blissfully as if he were on cloud nine.

This is it!

He got up after a few moments, opened the window to let in some fresh air, and walked to the full-length mirror. At the age of sixteen, his average height, skinny frame continued to bother him despite it being currently very beneficial. He then turned to the chest of drawers as his heart pounded against his ribs with excitement. He opened the top drawer, which revealed a wide array of panties, knickers and underpants of all colours and patterns.

He felt that his current actions were so wrong and for a brief moment, he thought about aborting his desires for the day. However, he had come too far; it had to be done now. He knew he would not get another chance for a long time. He reached in and took out a soft cotton pair of knickers with pink polka dots and a bow at the front. He felt his cheeks turn red as a wave of embarrassment spread throughout his body. He felt as if he were standing in a steam room as his breathing became repressed and his skin started to boil.

He felt something tick inside him as he touched the bow on the front. He looked around the room again, just in case somebody happened to be there watching. He let his towel fall, crumbling around his ankles as the light chill of the room caressed his skin. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself as he stepped into the knickers. He pulled them up above his legs, feeling the smooth fabric brush against his hips as he adjusted them around his thighs.

He shivered all over as the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. The feeling was electric. He walked to the bed and picked up the two oranges he had brought up with him. He then opened the second drawer and pulled out the matching bra. It was white with pink polka dots, extra layers of satin padding with lace trimmings around the edge of the cups. He placed the two oranges inside the cups and held the bra up to his chest with great difficulty. The oranges fell out a several times, which quickly made him feel frustrated. It took him a few moments to fasten the buckles together and even longer to tighten it correctly.

The sudden feeling of weight and pressure against his chest made him tingle all over. Goosebumps spread over his arms and legs. The sensation of the straps on his back made him feel oh so feminine. He then took a pair of tights from the drawer. They were white, thin, and barely transparent. He put his legs into the crumpled up garment and stretched it up his shins, over his knees and over his knickers. The soft feeling was immense and it made him feel incredible. He wiggled his toes between the soft fabrics of the tights and stroked his legs smoothly. It was heaven.

He then turned to the wardrobe, his pulse throbbing as his excitement escalated to massive heights. He had always wanted to do this and now it was his chance. Finally. He opened the two doors, which revealed a massive collection of girly outfits owned by his twin. There were skirts, dresses, blouses, leggings, sweaters, cardigans, camisoles, tank tops and shirts hanging inside. There were also slippers, runners, high-heels, boots and formal shoe wear in the foot-drawer.

Charlie’s eyes trailed back and forth, analysing each outfit. Then, he spotted it, hanging there in all its glory. The school uniform. His knees began to tremble as he pulled it out of the wardrobe. He had waited so long for this moment and now it was here. He walked across the room, not taking his eye off the uniform as he touched the fabric of the sweater. He picked the blouse first. It was white; round collared, long sleeved, and had been moulded to fit his sister’s shapely abdomen and bosom. He put his arms in the sleeves, noticing the snugness as he pulled the soft blouse around his bodice.

He looked at the door once more to see if anybody was watching him. There was nobody. He then buttoned up the blouse, one by one and over his false breasts until he reached the second last button. He left the top two open. Slowly but surely he began to feel slightly more feminine which was what he wanted. He exhaled through his nose as he focused on the soft cotton fabric hug his torso, false breasts, and arms tightly.

He looked back at the uniform laid out across the bed. He was more than ready for his favourite part. The skirt. He picked it up and held it In front of his eyes, admiring its girlish delicacy. It was short, high waisted, with a dark navy, blue and thin white striped plaid pattern. It had light pleats around the hemline with a zipper on the back. He could not understand why he fantasised about wearing such a simple piece of clothing but he was about to fulfil his dreams that very minute.

He stepped into the skirt and pulled it up, the polyester fabric gently stroking against his shins as he pulled it over his knees. The skirt slithered against his skin as he pulled it up over his thighs and adjusted it around his waist. He tucked the blouse in, carefully and neatly. He then zipped up the skirt, tightening the band around his waist. The sound of the zipper gave him chills.

He looked down at his legs, the skirt lengthening half way down his thighs. The feeling of the skirt against his hips and the soft satin panties beneath made him jiggle blissfully. He then picked up the tie. He buttoned the collar of the blouse up to the top and fixed the navy and blue striped tie around the collar. It was neatly tied, perfect and prim.

He stepped in front of the mirror, admiring himself from head to toe, posing girlishly with his hand on his hip and curling his toe with his hands behind his back as he stared into his reflection shyly. Yet, he could not help but blush at the sight of himself. He wondered what his friends would think of him right now let alone his mother and sister. He could not even think of their reactions. He felt he would be completely devastated if they found out.

He was not finished yet. He picked up the thin blue v-necked sweater with the school crest embedded on the right breast. He pulled it over his head and down over his bosom, fitting snugly around his abdomen, yet too tightly against his fake orange boobs. Perhaps he made them too big but he did not care because he simply loved the sensation. He fixed the blouse collar around the neckline and folded the stiff cuffs out over the sweater sleeves.

He then walked back to the wardrobe, opened the foot drawer and pulled out the shiny Mary Jane school shoes. He placed it against the sole of his foot. His heart sunk when he realised that they were much too small for him. But no matter, he had the rest of the outfit to enjoy.

He turned and looked at the makeup station. He wondered if he should put on some makeup despite not having a clue how to apply the stuff! He supposed a little lip-gloss would not hurt anyone. He walked across the room and sat down in front of the station mirror, staring into his reflection. The more he looked into himself, the more he seemed to look like his sister. He looked at all the tubes and containers, spotting a small pink tube. He picked it up and looked in the mirror, slowly and carefully pressing the lip gloss to his lips. He rubbed the gloss off several times as he was not satisfied enough. He was careful not to use too much in case his sister noticed soon he perfected it. He looked into the mirror, pouting and doing kissy lips. He laughed to himself as he shifted about in his skirt, rubbing his toes together inside his tights.

He dared himself to apply nail polish. Would she notice? He quickly brushed the thought away as he tried to be cautious. He did not wish to get too carried away. He picked up the hairbrush and began to stroke his shaggy hair, pulling out strings and split ends. He looked into his reflected eyes as he tilted his head and brushed. His insides squirmed with pleasure as a hot sensation engulf his tummy. He brushed his hair until it was as soft and shiny as could be, lengthening all the way down to his shoulders.

‘’You could really do with a haircut, Charlie!’’ he said to his reflection.

He then brushed his hair down each side, parting it in the middle until he had a somewhat feminine doo. He smiled at himself in the mirror, proud of his own handiwork. He wore various feminine expressions as he modelled himself in front of the full-length mirror. He pushed his butt out as far as he could as he knelt down. He felt his false orange breasts with his two hands and squeezed them gently. He swayed his hips as he paced back and forth from the mirror.

Charlie could not believe it but he resembled his sister even more so than ever. Well, they were twins but now that he was dressed like her, it still came as a shock. He decided to add some extra accessories to his school outfit such as a pair of his sister old clip on earrings and a bracelet. He did not really like these very much so he took them off after a few minutes. He decided to leave the room, feeling a little nervous as he did so. He unlocked the door and shouted ‘’Helloooooo?’’ down the hall.

Nobody replied. There was not a sound to be heard. He stepped out into the long hallway. He stood still and pondered for a moment. What shall he do now? A smile soon spread across his face as he broke into a run down the hall. For the first time he felt his skirt flow up and down as breeze gushed in and around it. He then skidded in his tights along the shiny wooden floorboards and then turned, running to the other end of the hallway again. He could feel his breasts jump up as he ran, his hair flowing back and his skirt flaring from side to side. It was heavenly.

He then skidded against the ground, stopping to catch his breath. He could not help but feel a little silly after doing that but it was worth it. He then went back into his sister’s room, breathing heavily after the run as he turned on the stereo. He felt that he was beginning to feel a little more at ease wearing the uniform. Ironically the song, ‘’Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’’ started to play.

Suddenly, he had a strong desire to jump up on the bed and move to the music. He never usually danced but sure he was home alone. He could do whatever he wanted. He grinned as he climbed up on the bed and began to jump up and down, feeling like a fool but enjoying the freedom of letting himself go and escaping world. He loved the feeling of his skirt flop up and down as he jumped, exposing his polka dotted panties beneath his tights. He jumped to the music, his hair flying everywhere as he laughed gleefully to himself.

Then, he heard somebody call his sisters name. The song had just ended, leaving the room in complete silence. Charlie was so stunned that stumbled off the edge of the bed, landing face down on the ground. He could feel the oranges within the bra cups squash and spew juice all over his chest. He got up and looked around to see that the room empty. Fully alert and alarmed, he randomly grabbed a hairbrush as a weapon but he dropped it as soon as he realised how ridiculous he looked.

‘’Hey Rachel!’’ called the voice again.

It came from outside. It was a boy’s voice. It sounded rather familiar to Charlie. His eyes darted to the open window. The next song on the CD began and blared across room. His heart was literally in his throat as he began to panic. He crawled across the floor, feeling a massive wet patch soak through the bra as the orange juice dripped down and through the blouse. He scurried for the stereo and plugged it out. He lay on the floor, listening carefully for the voice that would call Rachel again.

‘’Rachel, I know that you are in there! I heard the radio and seen you jumping on the bed like a lunatic!’’ the boys chuckled.

‘’Oh god!’’ gasped Charlie, his hand covering his mouth in panic.

‘’Just come to the window babe!’’ called the voice.

Charlie waited on the ground for a few minutes, his hand over his mouth as his eyes watered with terror. The orange juice was gradually soaking through the blouse and sweater. The boy simply would not go away. Then, the doorbell rang from downstairs. Charlie gulped, not knowing what to do as fear got the better of him.

The boy thought he had just seen Rachel jumping on the bed yet she was supposed to be in the city. If he rang her mobile phone and asked her to go to the door, she would speculate WHO was in HER room, dressed in HER clothing and jumping on HER bed.

The door bell rang again. Charlie knew he had to act fast so he got up, ran to the mirror, wiped away the lip-gloss, and ruffled up his soft hair. He then ran down the hall. ‘’I’M COMING!’’ he shouted at the top of his voice. He then ran down the stairs, feeling the orange juice seep into his underwear. He went to the door, thankful that the glass on each side was frosted, and opened it a crack.

The boy at the door was Dave O’Donnell, a stropping young man who was in the same school year as Charlie and Rachel. He never really talked to Dave but he knew that he was in some sort of a romantic relationship with Rachel for some time.

Charlie poked his head out from behind the door, hiding his uniformed body from view.

‘’Hey Charlie, can I speak to Rachel?’’ asked Dave.

‘’Oh sorry she’s not at home at the moment,’’ said Charlie, nodding his head.

Dave’s brow arched. He looked confused and a little suspicious as he attempted to look inside the door.

‘’That’s odd,’’ he said coolly, ‘’because I could have sworn that I seen her up in her bedroom through the window.’’

‘’Oh no that wasn’t Rachel,’’ said Charlie, laughing, ‘’that was my cousin Clara. She came over to keep me company while my mother and sister were out of town.’’

Dave nodded and forced a crooked smile, obviously a little disappointed that Rachel was not home.

‘’Well when she gets back, tell her I called by okay?’’ said Dave.

‘’Yeah sure,’’ nodded Charlie. ‘’Seeya!’’

Charlie shut the door, waited and looked through the letterbox to watch Dave leave. As soon as he was out of sight, Charlie locked the door and gasped in relief. He turned, leaning up against the door with his eyes closed as he slid down on his bottom. ‘’I’m never doing this again!’’ he swore to himself.

He walked to the kitchen in his sisters soaked wet school uniform and tried to enjoy his last few minutes being in his schoolgirl uniform before taking everything off and throwing the outfit into the washing machine. He watched it turn and twist in the dryer, feeling a little sad that he would probably never wear it again.

Then, everything was suddenly back to the way it was except for the fact that he was now standing naked in the kitchen, but normal nonetheless. He took some detergent and a mop upstairs with him to clean the puddle of orange juice from his sister’s bedroom floor. But first he stopped by his cluttered bedroom to put on a pair of underpants, blue jeans, red t-shirt and socks. He felt that male clothes were so bland, bleak and not fun to wear. What was the point?

He sighed mournfully as he entered his sister’s room, mopped up the orange juice and dressed the bed back to the way it was. He even went for the extra detail by turning the track back to the previous one on the CD, moved objects back to their original positions and sprayed the room with a hint of his sisters perfume in case he left any scent. He made sure that there was no way that anybody could find evidence to trace back to him.

After a short while of watching television, Charlie hung the uniform in the back garden on the washing line. He looked around to see if any of the neighbours could see him but there was no sign of life. He hung each item on the line, the blouse, the sweater, the tie, the knickers, the bra, the skirt and even the tights. He was trying to follow the pattern in which his mother washed clothes. The day was warm with a light breeze in the air. Perfect weather for drying.

He sat in the back garden on a deck chair, watching the uniform sway on the line with the wind. He started to think about why he had wanted to wear it so much. It was not anything sexual but he got a different kind of pleasure in girls’ clothing, a pleasure he had never experienced before. He liked it. He felt comfortable, at ease with himself and that slightly worried him.

The fear and thrill of nearly being caught by someone excited him a little. He did not know why but it just did. He wondered when he would get a free house to himself again. He assumed it would not be for a long time but that did not mean he could not look forward to it.

Wait a minute! I have the rest of the day alone. I can try on my sister’s clothes all I want! Charlie thought.

He was just about to get up from the chair when suddenly he remembered what just happened earlier. ‘’No,’’ he whispered to himself, sitting down. ‘’It’s too risky.’’ He sat back down on the chair and continued to enjoy the weather whilst he watched the line. Soon, the uniform was dry and he went inside to get the basket.

He unclipped each of the pegs, letting the skirt, the blouse, sweater, tights, bra and panties fall into the basket. He looked down at them, mesmerised by them. He knew he would miss them. Suddenly, he no longer felt alone. He looked up to see his best friend Sean walk onto the garden with his bicycle.

‘’You swear you never seen a pair of knickers before!’’ said Sean.

‘’Jesus Sean! You nearly gave me a bloody heart attack!’’ said Charlie, feeling his heart pounding.

‘’Alright man, calm down!’’ said Sean cheekily. ‘’No need to get all flustered just because I caught you doin’ the washing like a lady!’’

‘’I’m not — I — my mother is paying me to do the washing today while she’s gone,’’ lied Charlie defensively.

‘’Yeah I do not really care what you get up to in your spare time to be honest,’’ said Sean truthfully. He paused for a moment, looking at the washing basket with a certain glint in his eye. ‘’How do fancy going downtown to meet the lads?’’

Charlie looked up at the window upstairs, then at Sean wondering what he should do. Spend the rest of the day trying on girly clothes or hang out with his friends. He looked down into the basket at the uniform once more and smiled to himself.

‘’Yeah sure, just give me a few minutes. I have to do the ironing first,’’ said Charlie.

‘’Ooooooh, hello!’’ said Sean, mimicking a stereotype homosexual.

‘’Shut up,’’ snapped Charlie, pushing the washing up basket into Sean’s arms. ‘’You can help too!’’

Yes, Charlie had fun that day trying on schoolgirl uniform. The day seemed to be nothing more than a simple once off curiosity. It was a close shave, almost being caught, yes, but little did he know that he had just triggered a new part of his life, a trigger that will release a long hidden side to his being, which will take him down strange and dark roads.

The story begins here!

SUMMARY: It has been a few weeks since Charlie first tried on his sister's school uniform. He thought it to be just a once off passing fancy but ever since then the only thing that has been on his mind was when he got the chance to do it again. His desires are beginning to grow into something bigger as he takes the day off school to plunge into his sister's wardrobe.

---

‘’Oh Charlie, you’re burning up!’’ said Mom.

She took her hand off of his forehead and read the thermometer. She then left the room to get some medicine. Charlie took the thermometer out of his mouth, held it up against the lamp on the bedside locker, grabbed his hot water bottle and placed it on his face. He left it there for a few seconds before he heard approaching footsteps echoing from the hallway. He slipped the hot water bottle back under the blankets and placed the thermometer back in his mouth within seconds.

Charlie’s twin sister, Rachel entered the room, dressed in the very same school uniform that Charlie had once tried on just a few weeks ago. She had her school bag thrown over her shoulder and an expression of jealousy on her face.

‘’How are you feeling faker?’’ she asked, leaning up against the door frame with her arms crossed.

‘’I’m not faking Rachel!’’ stated Charlie. ‘’I feel rotten!’’

‘’Don’t you think that you’re getting a little old for faking being sick just to get out of school,’’ said Rachel, pursing her lips.

‘’I’m not lying! Why are you even here? Get the hell out of my room!’’ bellowed Charlie.

‘’Rachel, leave your brother alone,’’ snapped Mom, who had just arrived back with the medicine. ‘’He’s not feeling very well.’’

Rachel stood by the door, rolling her eyes as Mom handed Charlie the glass bottle of clear liquid. He took two swigs of it, the taste burning the inside of his mouth and sliding slowly down his throat.

‘’Thanks Mom,’’ he croaked.

She screwed the cap back on and looked down at her son with concern.

‘’Are you sure you’ll be okay at home by yourself?’’ she asked. ‘’I mean your temperature seems to be through the roof and I don’t want to leave you alone.’’

‘’Mom, I’ll be fine! I’m bloody sixteen years old, I can take care of myself!’’ said Charlie.

She didn’t look very convinced as an expression of worry spread across her face. Her eyes watered as she looked back at Rachel who just shrugged.

‘’Well - okay but call me straight away if you need anything.’’

She looked at her watch, her eyes widening with shock.

‘’Gracious! I’m late for work!’’ she bellowed. ‘’Come on Rachel, we need to get a move on.’’

She then rushed out of the room. Rachel was still leaning against the door frame.

‘’Anyway, I’m going to Kayla’s house straight after school to study so I won’t be home this evening,’’ said Rachel.

‘’Study?’’ said Charlie, his heart leaping and his eyes widening.

‘’Yes Charlie, study, you know that thing you never do?’’

‘’Why should I care what you do anyway?’’ said Charlie.

‘’Uh because I won’t be around to cook you dinner so you’ll have to figure out what to eat for yourself!’’ said Rachel, turning to leave.

‘’Well I wouldn’t be able to eat anyway because I’m practically dying here!’’ bellowed Charlie.

‘’FAKER!’’ echoed Rachel’s voice from the hall.

Charlie’s head fell back into the pillow and her stared up at the ceiling, curling his toes and clenching his fists from beneath the blankets. He felt the low adrenaline kick of excitement. He could barely contain himself. He had been given more time to do the thing he loved to do most in top secrecy, cross-dressing. It had been only three weeks since his very first venture into dressing in his sister’s clothes but it felt more like three years.

He listened carefully, waiting for the usual stutter of the car engine before starting up and reversing out of the driveway. He could hear his mother and sister arguing before hearing the thump of the car doors. Then, they were gone, leaving Charlie alone for the next twelve hours. His mother was usually home at half eight and his sister should be back at around that time also giving him plenty of time to bask in his girlish desires.

He lay there for a few minutes savouring the excitement and anticipation before he could no longer handle it. He threw the blankets off and jumped out of the bed. He stretched as high as he could, feeling his joints and muscles loosen. He ruffled his hair, feeling the considerable amount of growth that had taken place. His mother was trying to get him to cut it but he refused to do so. After all, a lot of guys had long hair in school.

He walked to the bathroom, wearing only his boxers t-shirt. He turned on the water, went for a whizz, stripped down and hopped in the shower. He scrubbed himself hard from head to toe, washing every inch reachable. He washed his hair with care as he was trying to retain a soft shiny glow. When done, he grabbed his bathrobe and put it on. He then dried his hair with his mothers hairdryer followed by eating breakfast downstairs in the kitchen.

The time had come once again.

He went up to his sister’s bedroom. The door was already open, exposing the slightly cluttered room. He didn’t feel as nervous as before but he was certainly cautious. He wasn’t taking any risks like last time when he was nearly caught by Rachel’s friend through the window. He stepped inside, feeling the hairs standing on the back of his neck as he stared at the sacred wardrobe. His skin formed goosebumps as he looked around his sister’s room. He hadn’t been there since he tried on her uniform.

The first thing he did was turn on the light and close the curtains. He then shut the door and looked at the wardrobe. His heart was pounding against his ribs as he approached the doors. He opened it slowly, revealing a treasure trove of girly feminine clothes and outfits ranging from uniforms to party dresses. He already knew what he wanted to try on, something he had only seen his sister wear twice.

His fingers ran through the clothes hanging from the rails as he searched for the one he wanted. He couldn’t find it and for a moment and he began to panic but then he realised that he was looking in the wrong place. He closed the wardrobe and went to the chest of drawers. He opened the top drawer to reveal a wide array of his sister’s underwear.

He felt as if hot water was flowing through his veins. His conscious was torn between right and wrong as he stared into the drawer. He was thinking hard about what he should do. Should he abort and forget about it? But no, that seemed to be impossible. His urges were much too strong and he couldn’t help it. The first time was just curiosity but now it was becoming something of an addiction.

Unbeknownst to him, his cheeks were flaring red and his eyes were watering. He looked over his shoulder to see if anybody was there, just in case. There was nothing, just him, alone. He looked back into the drawer at the panties. He closed his eyes, feeling his heart pounding before sighing and picking up a random pair. He lifted them up and analysed the detail. They were white, soft and thin with lace lining around the legs. On the front was a tiny ribbon bow design which sent chills down his spine. He closed his eyes tight.

The voices of his friends and family echoed at the back of his mind.

‘’Are you some sort of faggot?’’
‘’Eww what do you think you are doing?!’’
‘’Charlie, this is just weird!’’
‘’You sick pervert!’’
‘’Just look at yourself!’’

He suddenly snapped out of it, dropping the panties as if they were diseased. He looked around the room, his eyes watering as if he hadn’t blinked for a while. He felt strange and swallowed his fear and guilt. He picked up the feminine underwear, folded it and placed it back in the top drawer, gasping with relief . . . somewhat.

He then left the room.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go through with it after looking forward to it for so long. Something clicked inside him that restricted him from going any further, something called a conscience. It just felt wrong to be trying on her sister’s underwear and clothes behind her back. It was not only an invasion of privacy but of gender too.

He walked down the stairs, his head hanging low as if he were on the way to the principal’s office for punishment. He let himself fall onto the couch in front of the television inside the sitting room. He flicked through the channels searching for something interesting to watch, desperately trying to forget that he ever went into his sister’s room. He changed the station every few minutes, bored and restless of what he was seeing and thinking. He would spot various outfits on the girls on TV and would immediately fantasise, each time he did he would try to brush away the urges by changing the channel. He sat and watched sports for a while, eventually becoming bored and tired.

He turned the TV off and sat with his face buried in his hands. He could feel the strong urge building up inside him once again. He could feel his heart and pulse beating strong as if he had just ran a mile.

‘’Don’t give in, you can do this!’’ he kept repeating in his head.

He looked at the clock; it was nine in the morning. It would have been a complete waste of a day if he didn’t get what he wanted done. He could study? But he laughed at the prospect. He sat on the couch for what felt like an age, tapping his foot to the rhythm of the clock.

‘’Don’t give in, don’t give in, don’t give in!’’ he whispered over and over.

He looked up at the clock to see that only five minutes had passed. He jumped up and went to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of orange juice and drank. The feeling of the ice cold drink sliding down his throat was a fantastic feeling. He then sat at the kitchen island, picked up his phone and started playing with it.

As he sat in silence for a few moments, the urge to dress was becoming much too strong for him to handle. It built up inside the pit of his stomach like a fiery beast, penetrating his veins, fuelling him with pleasurable thoughts and emotions. He had to do it. He could not waste the chance. Days like these were rare and hard to come by. He had to do it.

As he stared at the clock ticking slowly over to quarter past nine, his feelings of guilt and fear quickly flipped over to apathetic and lust. It had to be done. He stood up, feeling confident and excited, not caring about anything or anyone, not even himself. His motives immediately changed back to the way they were right before he opened the underwear drawer.

He was going to be alone in the house all day. He knew he was going to have so much fun.

From his last cross-dressing experience, Charlie learned a valuable lesson, ‘’don’t use oranges as false breasts!’’ because they burst and stain. Over the last few weeks he had been browsing the web on making his own homemade falsies and he found a very adequate solution.

He opened the cupboard under the sink and took out two plastic freezer bags. He placed them both under the tap and filled them with warm water. After that he brought them upstairs to his sister’s bedroom. He closed the door behind him and looked around the room. It still reeked of Rachel’s girlishness. It made goosebumps form on the skin of his arms and legs. He left the water filled bags on the bed and walked to the chest of drawers.

He took a deep breath before opening the top drawer, once again revealing Rachel’s collection of knickers. He knew the pair he had wanted so he picked them up and analysed them. The white, soft and thin with lace lining around the leg along with the tiny ribbon bow design on the front gave his chills. He let his bathrobe slide off of his shoulders, crumbling around his ankles, leaving him bare and naked.

He stepped into the panties and pulled them up his legs, feeling the soft cotton caress his legs in the process as they fit snugly around his waist and behind. He felt so bad, so perverted, yet natural and serene. He turned and opened the second drawer where Rachel kept her socks and tights. He pulled out a pair of thin black high waisted tights. He had never worn these before so it was exciting to step into the legs and pull them up his shins, over his knees, stroking his thighs and up above his waist. It was a lovely feeling of softness and femininity as they hugged his legs comfortably yet tightly.

He walked up and down the room for a moment, wiggling his toes against each other within the tights. He shuddered and smiled and he went back to the chest, opening the third drawer which was filled with a wide array of bras ranging from training bras to push up ones. He picked up a white push up bra and stroked his fingers along the soft padding, the frills around the top lining and the extra push support. It gave off the essence of pure femininity and maturity.

For a moment he wondered what it would be like to have real breasts then he wondered WHY he wondered that?

He picked up the warm freezer bags and expelled the air from them. He then tied them around his neck and placed the bra upon them. Again, he had great difficulty in finding the straps on his back. When he did he tightened them hard, suddenly feeling the sensation of what it would really be like to have boobs. The slight weight, the feeling of the straps on his back and seeing two mounds on his chest made him feel somewhat . . . girly.

‘’And now for the best part!’’ he said to nobody in particular.

He opened the fourth drawer to see it packed with dozens of skirts, shorts and more tights. He wondered why a girl needed to have so many skirts but then he thought that he would have probably been the same if he was one. He rooted through the drawer, not noticing his heavy breathing of anticipation as he searched for the one he wanted.

After a few moments he found it lying there in all its glory, waiting to be worn once again. He touched it and held it up eyelevel. It was designed to be worn high above the waist, short and cute. It was pleated, short and light pink with a black frilly underskirt. The main attraction of the skirt was the large black bow which was tied neatly to the front of the waistband belt.

Charlie had only seen Rachel see it once and ever since then he had fantasised about wearing it for himself. Now it was about to come true.

He stood up and stepped into the skirt and pulled it slowly up his legs. It seemed that his legs would go on forever as the skirt fabric brushed against his thighs. The waistband went all the way up past his bellybutton lengthening only halfway up his thigh, just about hiding his behind.

He then went to the fifth and final drawer, opening it and staring into its wide collection of t-shirts, blouses, camisoles, tank tops and vests. He dug in and grabbed a grey tank top that would match his tights perfectly. He lifted it up, noting the revealing curved neckline to tease cleavage and its sleeveless arm revealing gaps. He couldn’t remember the last time Rachel wore it, maybe she never did, he couldn’t remember.

He pulled it over his head with great difficulty. It was very tight and hugged his false breasts snugly. He tucked the tank top into the skirt and zipped it up, encasing his entire body in the girly outfit. He then walked to the makeup station, feeling the roomy, free feeling of the short skirt flare against the gentle movement.

He wore a goofy smile on his face. He couldn’t help it. He was just so happy. He sat down in front of the makeup desk eyeing all of the tubes, tubs and boxes filled with lipsticks, eyeshadowers, eyeliners, kits and lotions. His chest was moving in, out, in, out as if he were staring at the most incredible sight ever. He didn’t know if it was safe. He didn’t know if Rachel would notice. Should he take the plunge and try on makeup for the first time? He had been reading through websites which instructed on how to apply makeup perfectly.

He looked around himself to make sure nobody was there, just in case. He looked back at the station feeling anxious and nervous.

‘’I guess a little bit couldn’t hurt,’’ he said to himself.

His hand was shaking slightly as he touched the round black capsule which contained the foundation. He grasped it and opened the thin lid. He looked over his shoulder again, nobody was there. He didn’t know why but he kept thinking that he was being watched by somebody hiding in the room. He brushed it off as paranoia and returned to his more ‘’important’’ thoughts.

He racked his brains to remember the step-by-step guide on how to apply makeup properly. Then he remembered that he needed to moisturise first. He looked around the station and spotted the little plastic bottle filled with clear liquid. He squirted some moisturiser into his hands and rubbed it gently onto his cheeks, nose, neck and forehead. The liquid soaked into his skin pores, leaving his skin clear and hydrated after a few minutes of waiting. He then wiped away any excess grease.

Charlie then dotted foundation on his nose, chin, cheeks and forehead. His hand trembled as he picked up the foundation brush and raised it to his face. As the bristles touched his face, he suddenly felt different. He began to feel and even act like a real girl. It was a most strange feeling for him. He looked in the mirror, blending the foundation carefully as if he were painting a masterpiece. After that he began to spread out the foundation with his fingers, and then finishing with a moist sponge to add final touches.

He kept repeating, ‘’blend, blend, blend’’ under his breath as this was key to having perfect foundation.

He decided to skip the eye shadow and instead only apply the dark eyeliner. This took him a very, very long time to perfect. He found it difficult to keep his eyes still. He kept blinking and his hand trembled because of nerves. After a while he managed to perfect it to the best of his abilities.

He then added pink blusher to his cheeks to bring out a healthy rosy look followed by the careful application of lashes which also took him quite a while to perfect.

Once he done he couldn’t believe how much he looked like his sister. In some ways it disturbed him yet in other ways it made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He couldn’t take his eyes off of his reflection. ‘’That’s not me, it couldn’t be me!’’ he kept whispering to himself.

He touched his busted chest and then stroked the fabric of the tank-top. His eyes were then drawn to a pink hairbrush as if it had just called out to him. He picked it up and began to shakily brush his longish hair. The bristles stroked through the knots and clumps of hair, pulling out strings of brown whilst softening and lengthening it into a soft glowing doo. He brushed for a while, not taking his eye off of his reflection in the mirror.

Within moments he had fixed his hair hung down past his ears, gently touching his shoulder like a soft velvet curtain. He sighed, feeling disappointed that his hair didn’t look as feminine as the rest of his face and body. It wasn’t thick enough but it was still passable as a teenage girl’s hair. He fixed the fringe and held his hair back with a yellow band.

He didn’t want to chance applying the false nails in case Rachel would notice but he put some bangles on around his wrists and wore a silver heart pendant. He then got up and went for the door. He listened carefully before setting foot out into the rest of the house in case anybody was there.

The door creaked as he opened it and he walked out into the hallway. He didn’t know what to do now. He pondered on what to do next. What could he do? He was most certainly not going to go outside. He may have been free to try on his sisters clothes all day but he was still restricted within the confines of the house.

He took a step forward, feeling the cushiony softness of the tights between his toes. He randomly jumped in the air. His hair flopped freely along with the skirt. He laughed to himself as a grin slowly formed across his face. Then he felt a little silly.

He looked down at his feet wishing that he had some girl shoes but his sisters ones didn’t fit. Then a quick thought flashed across his mind. He turned to his mother’s bedroom door, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the handle. His heart began to pound and his body electrified with delight.

He walked into his mother room. It was draped with dark purple curtains and matching bed sheets. The floor was carpeted with soft furry wool that was simply blissful to walk on. Like Rachel, she had a makeup station and a chest of drawers. The walls were covered in chocolate brown stripped wallpaper that gave the room a soothing quality. There were pictures of Charlie and Rachel throughout their lives hanging on the walls.

He looked at a picture of himself, Rachel and his father. He stared into his father’s beaming face with an expression of bitterness and woefulness. He wondered what his Dad would think if he saw him right now, in his ex-wife’s room about to try on her shoes. He quickly looked away as he thought this, feeling that his focus was being directed elsewhere.

He went to his mother’s walk-in wardrobe. It was a massive closet, filled with clothes she has worn once or twice throughout her life. Under the rails were shelves filled shoes, slippers, runners, boots and high heels. He began to look through the massive array of shoes, carefully putting them back in there right place. They were all two sizes too small for his feet. He began to feel frustrated. He continued to search through the dozens of shoes, coming across some beautiful pairs of heels that he would love to wear but like the rest they were all too small for him.

He gave up and sat on the ground feeling hot and flustered. He took several deep breaths before noticing an unopened shoebox stuffed underneath a pile of random single shoes. He leaned out and pulled it out from beneath the stack. He opened the box to find a pair of unworn black ankle boots. The heel was four inches long with a decorative bow on the outer side of each boot. His eyes sparkled as he looked down into the box. They were perfect! But did they fit him?

He took them out of the box and placed the sole of the boot against his foot. They fit! But they were slightly smaller. He began to smile once again. Not only had he found a pair cute of high heeled boots that fit him but they also complimented the rest of his outfit perfectly.

He remembered his aunt had bought them for his mother about two years ago as a birthday present but they were obviously too big for her and she stated that she was too old for ‘’ankle boots’’.

He walked back into his mother’s room carrying the shoes and sat on the bed. He lifted up his right foot and put it into the shoe with great difficulty. He strained to get his foot right though the hole. He gritted his teeth as his arms shook. Then his foot fell in with ease. His heel touched the inside snugly but his toes were slightly cramped. He did the same with the other and within a moment he was wobbling about the room in his new high heeled boots.

He chuckled to himself out loud as he looked down at his feet. He felt so much taller yet very girly at the same time. It didn’t take him long to stop swaying from side to side. He smiled as he looked at himself in the full length mirror. He placed his hands on his high waisted skirt and performed a curtsey to his reflection, batting his eyelashes and smiling coyly. He began to feel warm from head to toe as his cheeks turned scarlet, embarrassed by his dainty appearance.

He felt that his outfit was missing something. He looked at the tank top tucked nicely into the waistband and wondered what was overlooked when he was changing into the outfit. He clicked his fingers as it dawned upon him. To truly complete his garb he needed a jumper or a jacket.

He left his mother’s room and walked back into Rachel’s room. He didn’t wobble but his walk needed a lot of practising in order for it to look anyway womanly. He opened his sister’s wardrobe and browsed through the various coats, jumpers, sweaters and jackets hanging from the rails. He glanced through several garments before finding the adept jacket to compliment his outfit. It was a light pink blazer with a black outline around the collar and cuffs. It had rolled up sleeves with cuffs and a short tail at the back. It matched his pink skirt, black tank top, tights and heeled boots sublimely.

He put it on without difficulty. Suddenly, he felt whole. He looked like a true girl and intermediate feelings of awe and fear churned within him. Awe at how much he resemble his sister and fear of being caught. He had basked deeper than last time, the makeup, the heels, the skirt and tights. It was too much for him to comprehend.

He stared into the full mirror feeling flustered and decalescent. His chest pushed in and out as his breathing accelerated. His eyes began to water as if he were staring at a firework display. He touched his cheek and gasped breathlessly.

‘’It’s me,’’ he whispered silently.

A wide grin slowly spread across his face and within seconds he was strutting up and down the hallway as if it were a catwalk. His ankles nearly bent a few times but he didn’t give up. He wanted to perfect his walking with heels. His only wished that he had an hourglass figure just for the day.

He walked around the house with his shoulders thrown back and his pelvis pushed slightly forward. However he wasn’t pleased. He picked up a cookbook from the worktop in the kitchen and placed it on his head. It fell on the ground dozens of times before he managed to gain balance. He walked from the kitchen to the sitting room to the dining room, his skirt swaying from side to side and his hair bouncing slightly.

He continued to practice his walk over the next few hours. He learned to put his heel first before his toes. It felt strange but it wasn’t long before he developed an elegant stride. He couldn’t help but feel giddy as his feminine walk formed. His arms swayed back and forth naturally, close to his sides and the fingers still.

And before he knew it hours had passed and it was almost three o’clock. With his mother and sister not home until eight o’clock that evening he still had hours left to try on other clothes. He ran (yes he ran in heels) up the stairs smiling cheerfully, excited on what was to come. He went into his mother’s room to take off the heeled boots.

He took one last look at his outfit before sitting on the bench in front of the makeup station. He placed his hands on the boots and began to pull. They were nearly impossible to take off. His thin arms shook under the strain of moving his foot out of the shoe. His face turned red as he felt his heel slowly slide up.

Suddenly, he froze and all colour was drained from his face as he heard echoing footsteps from the corridor approaching. Louder, louder, LOUDER!

‘’Charlie, I’m home!’’ called his mother’s voice. ‘’I just thought I’d check up on you during my lunch break!’’

A massive weight plummeted to the very pit of his stomach as his heart crawled up his throat. A tidal wave of terror crashed upon him. He literally couldn’t move. He had no idea know what to do.

Poor Charlie, he was so scared.

Summary: Charlie is a normal teenage boy with a deep desire to dress in his twin sister’s clothes. It first starts with him trying on her school uniform but then his craze develops into something so much more as the pleasurable sensations of female clothing takes him into its warm embrace. It becomes something of a risky addiction. This series of episodic chapters will chronicle his fascinating journey into becoming a young transvestite from the beginning until the very end.

Charlie stared at the door as if it were a wave of fire rapidly heading toward him. His eyes watered and his hands trembled with shock. His could hear his mother’s heels clicking against the shiny wooden floor getting louder and louder as she approached her bedroom door.

Then, something electric shocked Charlie’s brain which broke him free from his frozen state as adrenaline pumped through his body. He jumped to his feet and turned for the walk in wardrobe. His fear gave him incredible agility as he dived for the closet door. His mind was in a state of gloaming as if he could no longer think. It was as if his body was working itself and he was the passenger.

As the bedroom door swung open the closet door shut concurrently. His mother stepped inside the room and looked around with her hands on her hips. She was dressed in her waitress uniform with a long tanned trench coat wrapped tightly around her torso.

‘’Charlie?’’ she said softly as she looked at the closet door. ‘’Are you in there?’’

Charlie placed his hand over his mouth as his eyes welled tearfully. For the first time in years he thought he was about to cry his eyes out in terror. He stood in the dark closet, unable to see anything through the pitch blackness, as he broke out in a cold sweat.

His mother’s brow arched with confusion as she approached the closet door and reached out for the knob. The lock clicked and she slowly opened the door. All she could see was her wide array of outfits and clothes hanging from the rails on each side. She stepped inside and looked around with a perplexed expression on her face.

Charlie hid behind the clothes hanging from the rails looking utterly perturbed as he held his breath. He could just about see his mother standing with her hands on her hips through the dresses. The only thing he could hear was his heart palpitating to dangerous heights. His knees shook erratically as drops of sweat dripped down his forehead.

His mother raised her eyebrows in dismissal and turned to leave. She closed the closet door and all light was sucked out of Charlie’s vision. He continued to anxiously hold his breath until he heard the thump of the bedroom door closing.

‘’Charlie!’’ called his mother once again as she walked down the hallway.

He gasped for breath and clenched his chest with relief. He got out of the clothes rack and continued to inhale air as if he was just pulled out from beneath water. But he wasn’t in the clear yet. He had to get somewhere safe to take off the outfit. In the darkness he pulled off the heeled boots with all his might. He couldn’t see a thing so he pulled the cord which turned the light on. He scurried on the floor, searching for the shoebox as if there was a ticking time bomb about to explode. He found the box, placed the ankle boots back inside and put it back under the corner pile of shoes.

He then jumped to his feet and listened carefully. He couldn’t hear a thing. For all he knew his mother could be still right outside the bedroom in the hall. He bit his lower lip nervously, racking his brains on what he should do. He got down on his knees and pressed the side of his head against the carpeted floor. He could just about hear his mother’s muffled footsteps downstairs. He then picked himself up to his feet and slowly pushed the door open. He stepped out into his mother’s room and ran to the door. His tights against the carpet floor made very little sound. He then pressed his ear against the bedroom door. Nobody was in the hallway. He carefully pushed down the handle and opened the door. The slight creak made him cringe with fear before he finally shut it closed.

‘’Charlie, where on earth are you!’’ bellowed his mother’s voice angrily.

He tip-toed down the corridor like a burglar, the soft feeling of the tights against the polished wooden floor made everything easier. His heart was literally in his throat as he approached his bedroom door. Then, he froze stiff as he heard his mother climbing the stairs.

‘’S-Sorry mom, I was in the bathroom!’’ he bellowed down the corridor.

His mother only replied with her rapidly approaching presence. She was obviously very angry with him. He acted fast and broke into an agile sprint towards his room. Within a second he slammed his door behind him and dived for the bed. He pulled the blankets over his entire body up as far as his neck and turned his back on the door. Just before his mother entered the room he managed to pull the hair band out and ruffle his soft doo back to his shaggy state over his half his face.

His mother opened the door, flicked on the light and stepped through. Charlie let out a moaning groan of sickness.

‘’Charlie, what the hell’s the matter with you? I called you over a million times!’’ she said as she approached his bedside.

He was beneath the blankets praying that his mom didn’t see his face covered in his sister’s makeup. The tension was so great that he could barely talk back to her. She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook him gently.

‘’Charlie, are you feeling okay?’’ she asked softly.

‘’I just wanna sleep,’’ he breathed out tiredly.

His mother didn’t say anything for a moment before whispering, ‘’okay honey, I just thought I’d check up on you. I’ll be home again later tonight’’ and then she left.

Charlie waited in bed for the next half hour staring into a trance. He was thinking about his cross-dressing secret and how it was affecting him as a person. When it began he had only wanted to try on his sister’s uniform just once and no more. He was just a little curious. Before then he had no interest in wearing anything else, just the uniform. But since that day a few weeks ago he had unlocked something which was obviously buried deep within. His curiosity changed into desire and his desire was slowly changing into an addiction. Despite the fact he was almost caught twice he still wanted to continue driving his fantasies.

‘’I was almost caught,’’ he whispered to himself.

He blinked for the first time in over a minute. Wetness squeezed out from between his eyelids as he blinked. He licked his lips and took a deep breath through his nose.

Even though he loved doing it he knew he had to give up dressing in his sisters clothes. It was much too risky. He was almost caught on both occasions and they were the first times he cross-dressed! He scoffed to himself as he thought ‘’Jesus I really suck at this!’’ and he turned in his bed.

He could hear the engine of his mother’s minivan jerking before starting up and reversing out onto suburban cul-de-sac. He was alone in the house once again. He threw the blankets off and went to his sister’s room to undress. He made sure there was no scent left and that everything was placed back to their rightful positions before heading to the bathroom with a bottle of makeup remover. He used only a small fraction on his face in case his sister noticed. It took him ages to get everything off, especially the eyeliner and lashes. He spent over a half hour just ridding the jet black substance from his lashes. Miraculously, when he was done there was not a single shred of makeup evidence left on his face.

He sighed with relief as he stared into the mirror above the sink. He looked into his own eyes. The pupils swirled about within the colourful green, frightened yet relieved.

‘’No more cross-dressing,’’ he said to himself.

He then left the bathroom to hang about the house for the remainder of the day.

***

The clouds hang darkly above suburbia. The sky is painted with whites, greys and blacks. Everything is dry yet crisp and dull. There is little sunlight, only grey as a light chilly breeze lays about the streets. Cars pull out of driveways as the people of Saulsbury Lane leave their homes to go to work and school.

Charlie and Rachel leave their home through the front gate. Both are dressed in their school uniforms with their bags thrown over their backs as they set off for another gruelling day at Castlemore Community School. Charlie is attired in his usual blue sweater, light blue shirt, dark grey tie and pants with a pair of white sneakers whilst Rachel is dressed primly in the same school uniform that her twin brother had once tried on.

Charlie yawned like a lazy lion. His eyelids felt heavy against his sleepy eyes. Rachel however was wide awake, standing upright and clenching her books to her chest. They walked together in silence as usual. The school was just under a mile walk but it felt like ten each and every morning.

They made as far as the cul-de-sac sign before turning alongside the main road. Suddenly a car pulled up beside them. It was a small but sporty blue ford fiesta. The window rolled down and loud music spilled out onto the pavement. Charlie wondered who it was but Rachel obviously did as a she dramatically changed mood.

‘’Hey Rachel, ‘sup Charlie!’’ said Dave O’Donnell leaning out from the driving seat.

‘’Hi Dave!’’ said Rachel, giddy and excited.

Without saying a word to Charlie she got in the passenger seat and put on her seatbelt.

‘’Oooh you got a new stereo!’’ said Rachel, reaching out to touch it.

‘’Careful babe, its brand new!’’ he smiled crookedly, trying to not look bothered. ‘’I’ll see you later Charlie!’’

And then he shifted it into gear and zoomed off down the road leaving Charlie behind. He looked at the car as is slowly shrunk in the distance. Dumbfounded, he muttered and cursed to himself like a crazy old man.

‘’Oh no it’s okay. I enjoy walking to school early in the morning. No need to offer me a lift in your empty car!’’ he muttered sarcastically.

Charlie met up with his best friend Sean outside his house along the way. They walked the rest of the way together.

‘’Where in god’s name were you yesterday? You missed so much!’’ said Sean.

‘’How is it that every day I’m out something incredible happens at school?’’ said Charlie, knowing well that Sean was lying.

‘’No man it was great! Young Alan finally ticked and went ape shit on Gary. He punched him straight in the face and he fell backwards on his ass! It was priceless!’’

Charlie scoffed, raising his eyebrows, ‘’Huh, so young Alan finally ticked? I never thought he had it in him.’’

‘’That was exactly everyone else’s reaction. I’ve bet my lunch money that he won’t be in today,’’ said Sean.

‘’In fairness though, Gary had been bullying him for the past year,’’ stated Charlie.

‘’He’ll certainly have a harder time now,’’ said Sean, the smile slowly vanishing from his face.

‘’Poor young Alan,’’ said Charlie, shaking his head.

The two boys reached the school building within a few minutes. It was large, brown-bricked and looked as if it were built in the 1980’s. It was situated near the town centre and at this particular part of the morning the streets were swarming with blue school jumpers.

Charlie and Sean walked up the entrance steps and walked through the main corridor. The school had four levels and was painted brightly along with decorative trophy cases and class photos hanging on the walls. The main corridor was wide, spacious and was scattered with many students. An array of lockers stood against the walls on each side of the hallway with a drinking fountain wedged at the end of each side.

‘’Awh no look! The fat bastard came in!’’ groaned Sean, stopping in his tracks.

Charlie turned his head to see what Sean was looking at, Young Alan, a massively tall and overweight boy with thick rimmed glasses and a plump red face.

‘’A minute ago you felt bad for the guy and now you’re calling him a fat bastard?’’ said Charlie, trying to make sense of his friends empathy.

‘’Yeah but that’s not the point man, he’s cost me my bloody lunch money!’’

Suddenly, the loud bell drilled into each and every student’s skull making some but not all groan with reluctance. The corridors were suddenly packed with blue jumpers as everybody scattered to their classes. Charlie had double woodwork first thing. He sat through it with difficulty, feeling bored and impatient with his teacher’s low droning voice. Every class was the same. He sat through it, daydreaming and fidgeting with his pens. For some unknown reason not even his favourite classes interested him today.

He sat through English staring out the window down at the fresh green grass. Having classes on the top level of the school offered an excellent view of the distant city skyline. He was thinking about the day before. How he was close to becoming caught by his mom. He couldn’t even bring himself to think of what she would say to him. Would she be angry, supportive, amused or concerned? She always held him in such high esteem and he was beginning to realise that he should never risk cross-dressing again. Then again, was there truly anything wrong with it? It was just clothes after all. Charlie didn’t want to believe that he was a ‘’cross-dresser’’. He believed that he was just curious. But curious so much that he had done it a second time?

He looked down to see a large group of girls dressed in their tennis uniforms as they made their way back from the courts. The short white pleated skirt, the short sleeved polo shirt, the white knitted vest and the soft cotton socks sent shivers down Charlie’s spine. What he would give to try on that outfit!

‘’Charlie, Charlie, CHARLIE!’’ whispered Sean from the desk beside him.

He snapped out of it and turned to Sean, dumbfounded and confused.

‘’Kavanagh, the answer is Kavanagh!’’ he whispered.

Charlie quickly turned his head to the front of the class to see everybody’s eyes looking at him. The teacher was strutting angrily towards him with an infuriated expression on his face.

‘’Kavanagh sir!’’ said Charlie aloud and confidently.

‘’Too late!’’ bellowed Mr. Wilson savagely before slamming his fist down upon Charlie’s wooden desk.

That lunch Charlie, Sean and Joseph sat on the park benches in the back of the school. Joseph was a tall lanky black haired boy with a long face and high cheekbones. He was what you would call a characteristic dim-wit who was always happy and cheerful. He was better friends with Sean than Charlie.

‘’Christ that Mr. Wilson is psychotic!’’ stated Sean. ‘’He should be in a mental home the way he acts!’’

‘’Who’s Mr. Wilson?’’ asked Joseph, squinting as if he couldn’t see quite well.

‘’He has been your English teacher for the past three years you twat!’’ said Sean.

‘’Is that his name?’’ asked Joseph.

‘’At least he let me off with a warning this time,’’ mumbled Charlie.

Sean and Joseph had a tasteful conversation about ‘’shifting girls’’ the proper way whilst Charlie wandered into yet another daydream. He looked around the vast school yard to see students scattered in packs all over the place. In the distance he could see Rachel and Dave cuddling by the tree. He immediately looked away as it sickened him to see his sister in such a light. His eyes then trailed to a group of girls in the distance. He was staring at their skirts, wishing that he was wearing one right now. He then shook the thought away and thought to himself, ‘NO Charlie! You’ve given up that stuff! It’s time to move on!’’.

As soon as the bell went the three boys made their way to their third and final period of the day. They squeezed in between the hoards of pupils in the wedged corridors. As Charlie walked around a corner he bumped into Julie, a pretty red haired girl with piercing green eyes. He suddenly felt as if he were back hiding in the closet from his mother as his heart began to pound fiercely against his ribs.

‘’Oh h-hey Julie!’’ he stammered.

Sean, who was standing behind him, rolled his eyes as he knew that Charlie had liked Julie for some time now.

‘’Hi Charlie! I haven’t seen you all day!’’ she smiled warmly.

Her voice was soft, squeaky, and high pitched but above all else hypnotising.

‘’Yeah I’ve been with these losers!’’ joked Charlie, gesturing to Sean and Joseph.

Julie’s girlfriends behind her had the exact same expressions of disgust as Joseph and Sean as they watched their friends nervously flirt.

‘’Well, I’ll see you later then,’’ smiled Julie pleasantly.

Charlie nodded and smiled. She then walked by him followed by her friends in tow.

‘’When are you gonna ride that one?’’ asked Sean rudely.

‘’Will you shut up!’’ snapped Charlie.

‘’Ooh alright! Getting all defensive over your wimpy little crush!’’ in a fraudulent tone. ‘’Ask her out already. The girl obviously likes you!’’

Charlie didn’t respond. He was still flinching after the awkwardness of the encounter with the girl he liked, Julie O’Sullivan.

***

Later that evening Charlie sat down for dinner with his mother and Rachel. It was usual for Charlie because he hadn’t sat down to dinner with Rachel and his mother, Mary, since his Dad left them. Charlie was in high spirits because he was having his favourite meal, BBQ spare ribs, tacos and fries. It was amazing how much better it made him feel. His mother was obviously trying to bring back some sort of a family atmosphere to the house.

‘’ — the amount of foreign nationals going back to their home countries is crazy. Mr. Johnson is slowly loosing staff in the restaurant and he will soon have to put an ad in the paper for extra dishwashers,’’ said Mary, using her fork as a pointer. ‘’If you want I could put in a good word for you two. You’re both old enough for part time jobs now.’’

‘’Eww no, washing dishes in some back kitchen, no way!’’ said Rachel, wrinkling her nose in disgust as she raised a chip to her mouth.

‘’Once you start college you’ll take any job you get young lady, believe that!’’ said Mary, pointing her fork at Rachel. ‘’How about you Charlie?’’

‘’Oh, well I dunno, I wouldn’t have any time off if I start a job,’’ said Charlie honestly. ‘’What with school, homework and such.’’

‘’It would only be part-time. Every Friday and Saturday night,’’ smiled Mary reassuringly.

‘’Um, I’ll think about it Mom, I will.’’

‘’Well don’t think about it for too long. Part-time jobs are scarce in times like these,’’ said Mary as she tucked into her dinner.

The three sat in silence for a few moments. The only sound to be heard was the clinking of cutlery and the television blaring from the neighbour’s house next-door. Rachel opened her mouth to speak.

‘’Hey have you um— uh — oh,’’ she said, forgetting what she was about to say midsentence.

Mary and Charlie looked at her, waiting for to say something.

‘’Oh yes, um have you been using my makeup?’’ said Rachel, looking down at her tacos.

Charlie suddenly felt as if he was thrown into a pit of lava. His entire body suddenly felt over heated and his skin suddenly became sticky with sweat. Was she talking to him?

‘’Mom?’’ she added, looking over at Mary.

‘’Oh, well yes I used a little bit a few days ago because I ran out of foundation,’’ said Mary as she cut her meat.

Even though Rachel hadn’t directed the question at Charlie he didn’t feel anyway relieved. He was on high alert and he had suddenly lost his appetite. He got up from his seat and took his plate in his hands to the bin.

‘’Where are you going?’’ asked Mary.

‘’I’ve got a colossal amount of homework to do. I should get started,’’ lied Charlie.

‘’But we’re having dinner,’’ said Mary as she watched her son throw the leftovers into the bin.

Charlie could feel himself beginning to get angry. A horrible creature lurched inside his chest ready to lash out at somebody.

‘’I know Mom but like I said I have a lot of work to get done,’’ said Charlie, gritting his teeth as he placed the plate and cup into the sink.

He then left the kitchen, went upstairs and locked himself in his bedroom. Rachel looked at Mary and shrugged confusedly. Then the sound of a horn honking echoed from outside the house. Both Mary and Rachel looked towards the door.

‘’That’s Dave!’’ beamed Rachel from ear to ear.

She jumped up from her seat, emptied her scraps into the bin and put her plate into the sink.

‘’Where are you going?’’ asked Mary, her eyes wide and watery.

‘’I’ll be back soon Mom I’m just going out with Dave!’’ said Rachel, unable to control her giddiness.

Mary’s eyes followed Rachel to the coat hanger. She looked and felt incredibly hurt.

‘’But — the family dinner it was our idea to -,’’

‘’I’m so sorry Mom. I forgot to tell you. I’ll be back soon, I promise!’’ said Rachel, zipping up her coat.

Mary watched her daughter leave the kitchen. The sound of the front door slamming and the blue ford fiesta zooming away made her lower lip tremble. She then buried her face into her hands as she sat alone at her family table, crying her eyes out.

Meanwhile, Charlie was lying on his bed with his laptop resting on his laps. He opened a tab for Facebook and another for Google. He sat staring at the empty search bar, pondering and what to do. He was frozen and expressionless for a few minutes before typing ‘’cross-dressing’’.

11,200,000 results.

He raised his eyebrows and scrolled down through page. An advertisement on the side of the page read ‘’Sex Personals Connecting Cross Dressing Fetish Playmates for Fun’’.

‘’Is this what I’ve become?’’ he wondered. ‘’Something strange happening to me, I’m not the person I used to be.’’

He clicked into a cross-dressing store website and scrolled down through the many products up for sale. Body shapers, breast forms, wigs, masks, body suits, fake nails, lashes, makeup, outfits, costumes and corsets all at expensive prices. He sighed and closed the tab to see that he had a chat message of Facebook.

Julie: Hi Charlie! :) x x x

He couldn’t help but feel warm inside. He smiled to himself as he prepared a message to send back to her.

The sky was blue. Yes, just blue, not a cloud to be seen. Every so often a light sliver jet could be seen, trailing white smoke behind it. The sun hung over the city like a warm light bulb, belting its warm rays unto the necks of people within the hustle and bustle of the packed streets. People wore shorts, t-shirts, sunglasses and sun cream, making the most of the rarely seen good weather. The sounds of construction workers banging and drilling combined with angry drivers who were sitting in traffic honking their horns and roaring at the drivers in front of them swelled up like a frustrated bubble about to burst.

But away from all the hectic city life and noise, two people walked alone through the deep lush trees of the park. Charlie and Julie walked alongside each other immersed in one another’s presence. Every time that Charlie moved close to her she would move away with a tight lipped smile as though everything were okay.

Her auburn red hair hung down over her shoulders like two beautiful maroon curtains. She had a slight scent of strawberries and summer breeze despite the fact it was just March. She wore a navy and white striped tank top tucked into a pair of high waisted sailor shorts with thin black tights and slip on shoes. Her eyes were covered by large black sunglasses.

Charlie was not absorbed in her clothing, but he was in her, as a person and as a young woman. It had been three weeks since he last cross-dressed and he didn’t miss it in the slightest bit. His mind was constantly on Julie and not on the next time he’d get to wear a skirt.

As corny as Charlie might have found it, he lay down on the cool green grass with Julie, staring up at the deep blue sky. They talked about many things such death and what they wanted to do when they left school. Very morbid indeed but they both agreed that being buried seemed too claustrophobic and Charlie didn’t want to be cremated after he had read that the intense heat boils fluids in the skull until your head explodes.

What a strange yet insightful topic to discuss but they quickly changed the subject to warm silence. They stared up at the bright blue sky in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the peaceful sounds of birds chirping and water running.

Julie hummed with happiness as a slight smile spread across her face. Charlie looked over to her, feeling his insides ache with desire. He could feel his eyes water and his mouth dry up as he stared at what he believed to be a vision of beauty. He wished that he could tell her how he felt but she was much too difficult to read at times because she sometimes showed affection towards him yet at other times she just acted like a friend. She was within his very heart tormenting him and she didn’t even realise it.

He opened his mouth to express himself but no words came out. He closed it quickly before she looked over at him. She didn’t notice. He suddenly felt very stuffy and wanted to get up. He could feel the pulse in the side of his neck pounding. However he remained lying down next to Julie.

He looked at the space between them. At least one other person could fit between them. He stared at her petite hand, long nailed and painted with purple polish. He wanted to clench it within his own but he didn’t have the courage. He wondered why he wasn’t acting because everybody at school was telling him how much Julie liked him. But he made the mistake of listening to fellow students once before about another girl who ‘’liked’’ him. Yet she didn’t. And he ended up making a fool of himself. He figured that that incident probably affected his overall confidence with girls but no, he felt something else but he didn’t know what.

‘’How do you feel about leaving school next year?’’ asked Julie randomly.

‘’I can’t bloody wait much longer,’’ stated Charlie truthfully.

‘’Why can’t you wait?’’

‘’I just want to get out of school. There was a time when I could tolerate it but now — now that I’m just so close to the end and I want to leave more than ever,’’ said Charlie earnestly.

‘’But the Leaving Exams get in the way?’’ said Julie persisting Charlie’s feelings.

‘’Yeah but the sooner they come, the sooner they are over and done with,’’ stated Charlie.

‘’Why do you want to leave so much?’’ inquired Julie.

Charlie turned his head to Julie who was looking at him. The brightness of the sun clashing with the green blades of grass made her look angelic.

‘’I just told you,’’ laughed Charlie.

‘’You told me how much you wanted to leave, now why you wanted to,’’ smiled Julie.

Every time she smiled at him so did he. She made a fair point and it made him think, ‘’why DO I want to leave so badly?’’.

She didn’t press the matter any further as she knew she couldn’t decipher what he really meant, neither did Charlie actually.

They walked together side by side through the park talking about future plans. At times Charlie didn’t listen as he was distracted by her sweet hypnotic voice. To him, she could say anything and it would sound beautiful. They ventured through a tunnel beneath a stone bridge and emerged from the darkness at the other end.

‘’Do you think you’ll stay in contact with your friends?’’ asked Julie sweetly. ‘’Be honest now!’’

‘’I dunno, maybe. It’s hard to know,’’ said Charlie truthfully. ‘’We’re all going to different college’s next year.’’

Julie looked down at her feet coyly as her gentle smile was replaced with a look of nerve.

‘’D-Do you think you’ll stay in contact with me?’’ she asked shyly.

Charlie looked at her and noticed her head hanging low. He wanted to hug her but he felt it would be too seamy. He had hugged her many times before but only as greetings.

‘’Of course Julie,’’ he said, stating her name clearly. ‘’How could I NOT keep in contact with you?’’

She gave another tight lipped smile and looked down at her feet. Her hand twitched as if she wanted to reach out and clutch onto Charlie’s but he didn’t notice. He was too busy with his head turned the opposite direction, feeling the cold stab of awkwardness. His eyes were drawn to a little sand bank by the small lake in the centre of the park. Somebody had engraved the words ‘’I LOVE YOU’’ into the sand and he thought that was really beautiful.

Just under a half hour later the two sat together in a small corner café down Shop Street, a cobbled alleyway of expensive shops and restaurants in the centre of the city. The café was filled with people reading books with a cup of coffee, mostly college students. Charlie had never been there before but Julie claimed she went there all the time.

‘’I can’t wait to go out tonight,’’ stated Julie whilst she held her warm cup between her two hands. ‘’It’s been much too long since I went out and got properly hammered!’’ she laughed.

Charlie winced as she said this. He had no idea that Julie was the type who would drink. After all she was only sixteen, two whole years away from being able to do it legally. Frankly, he was a little shocked but at the same time he didn’t care. There were way too many aspects of Julie that he admired to account for a small matter of underage drinking. He did it himself, sometimes.

‘’Yeah same,’’ said Charlie.

Mostly everyone in his school year was going out because there was a big eighteenth birthday on. He wasn’t invited to the house party before hand, nor was Julie because they didn’t know the guy. However they were going to the pub, followed by the nightclub.

How he was going to get in was beyond him. He was only sixteen. Would he be able to even pass for eighteen? But Julie claimed that they were going to a certain place that always let underage in. Charlie was unsure. He wished that he could just spend the night with Julie, just the both of them so he could finally express his feelings to her. He felt positive that he should tell her that night but he was only fooling himself. He kept putting it off further and further.

‘’What do you think is your most attractive feature?’’ asked Julie randomly.

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, put off by the sudden question. ‘’I uh — Jesus — I dunno? What do you think?’’

‘’Is your most attractive feature?’’ said Julie, bowing her head slightly whilst smiling coyly. ‘’You’ve got good skin.’’

‘’Skin?’’ chuckled Charlie.

‘’Yeah it’s really clear yet rugged,’’ laughed Julie. ‘’It’s really nice!’’

They both laughed for a moment before falling into silence. They stared at one another. Charlie usually found it hard to look into her eyes but this time he found himself lost in lush green forests of her eyes. Her thick lashes and light liner really brought out her vibrant, expressive yet sad eyes. He knew what was coming next so before she could even say anything he interjected.

‘’You’re eyes are so beautiful,’’ he said hypnotically.

She did not look away. It seemed to be that it was just them in the world, no one else.

‘’Thanks Charlie,’’ she said softly.

They didn’t kiss.

***

‘’When are you gonna fuck her brains out?’’ asked Sean casually.

Charlie just shook his head at his friend’s crude sense of speech and didn’t answer.

‘’Now if I were you now I would have rode her long ago!’’ stated Sean.

He jumped up on the couch and began to thrust himself into a pillow which he placed in front of his genitals. Charlie gave him the dirtiest look ever before slapping the pillow out of his hands.

‘’Will you cop on and stop being such a fool!’’ snapped Charlie.

Sean fell back down to the couch with his eyes fixed on Charlie. A look of shock and disbelief dawned upon his face.

‘’Alright lover boy don’t get your knickers in a twist!’’ he said in a high pitched tone.

Charlie looked at Sean from the corner of his eye with cynicism before turning his head back to the television screen. Neither of them said a word a few painful minutes.

‘’We’ve already played this match,’’ stated Charlie.

‘’So? I want to beat you again!’’ said Sean grinning.

Charlie tried to keep himself from smiling back but he couldn’t help it.

‘’So,’’ said Sean, trying to sound casual and conversing. ‘’Julie, she means a lot to you then?’’

Sean and Charlie never talked about their feelings to one another, because well, they didn’t have that kind of friendship. For Charlie, Sean’s question made him feel uneasy and awkward.

‘’Yeah I guess so,’’ said Charlie, not wanting to sound in the least bit love struck.

Sean raised his chin in a somewhat half hearted nod before turning his back to the television. They had been playing a football videogame for the last hour just to past the time. Charlie had departed from Julie right before then. She had to go to her friend’s house to prepare for that night. Charlie got the bus out from the city and dropped by Sean’s on the way home.

It wasn’t long before Charlie stood up and went for the door. He had to get home and get ready himself.

‘’I’ll see you later man,’’ said Charlie.

‘’Seeya,’’ said Sean.

As he stepped outside he felt the warm breeze blow against his skin. He was dressed in knee length beach shorts, runners, no socks and a dark green slim t-shirt. He walked down the footpath, feeling the heat between his toes. The reflection of the sun made him put on his sunglasses and the glare of the passing cars was almost blinding to the eye.

He loved it when the weather was this good.

Within a few minutes he was walking through the garden gate and opening his front door. It was much colder inside the hall. He walked into the kitchen to see his mother drinking a glass of red wine. He stopped dead in his tracks as if a weight fell into his heart. She had his back turned to him and she was gulping it down as if it were water.

‘’Mom?’’ he called softly.

She suddenly shook as if she were prodded with something electric. She turned around and half attempted to cover the bottle.

‘’Oh hello Charlie!’’ she smiled crookedly. ‘’I didn’t expect you to be home so early!’’

Charlie didn’t say anything. He tried to act as normal as possible as he walked to the fridge. This gave Mary enough time to ‘hide’ her wine. As Charlie stared into the fridge blankly an overpowering dread overcame him.

Has she started drinking again? Charlie thought.

‘’What do you want for dinner?’’ asked Mary casually as If everything was fine.

It took a moment for Charlie to answer back as he was stuck in a never-ending trance.

‘’Anything at all,’’ he said softly.

His eyes bulged with water as he walked up the stairs. He shook his mind free of emotion and swallowed hard. He tried to forget what he had seen. He didn’t want to say anything to his mother in case it would cause her great embarrassment or another breakdown. He walked into his bedroom and wondered why he went upstairs in the first place. He then figured that he had to get away from the shock in the kitchen.

‘’How about Lasagne?’’ called Mary from the kitchen.

‘’Yeah that’s fine!’’ Charlie shouted back.

‘’What are you doing Mom?’’ he muttered angrily through gritted teeth.

Half an hour later he sat downstairs at the kitchen table with his mother. They ate in complete silence. As he neared cleaning his plate, Charlie started to talk.

‘’Where’s Rachel?’’ he asked his mother.

‘’Oh,’’ smiled Mary. ‘’She’s off with that boyfriend of hers. You know the one with the car?’’

‘’Dave,’’ said Charlie. ‘’His name is Dave O’Donnell.’’

Mary gave a half-hearted nod before digging into the rest of her lasagne.

‘’Aren’t you going out tonight?’’ said Mary as she raised a roast potato to her mouth.

‘’Yeah, I’m afraid I’ll need a bit of money if that’s okay?’’ asked Charlie, not looking at his mother.

She replied only with silence. Charlie looked up to see his mother give a weary sigh.

‘’You see this is why I think you need to get a job,’’ she said. ‘’So you can pay for yourself. You’re going to have to start someday Charlie.’’

‘’But I don’t have time for a job!’’ stated Charlie.

Mary sat back in her seat and stared at her son, shaking her head with her arms crossed.

‘’Just tonight,’’ she said simply. ‘’After that you’re not getting another penny!’’

‘’Fine,’’ mumbled Charlie. ‘’Thanks.’’

Later that evening Charlie was upstairs getting ready to go out. He dressed himself in black jeans, converse and a tight long sleeved t-shirt. His brown hair was getting quite long. He could hear his mother’s voice nagging him at the back of his mind. ‘’If your hair keeps growing at this rate I soon won’t be able to tell you and Rachel apart!’’. He scoffed to his reflection as he sprayed deodorant over his body. To think that he was dressed up like his sister in his mother’s closet a few weeks made him laugh and cringe at the same time.

What was I thinking? He thought. What was the point?

He had a nervous feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t tell whether it was nerves or excitement. He felt nervous because he knew he had to tell Julie how he felt about her that night and excited because it had been a long time since he was last out on the town. He hoped that everybody was right about the nightclub because he didn’t fancy being turned down by the doormen due to his young age. But he trusted Julie’s instincts and he was a little confident that he would get in without I.D.

He went down the stairs, feeling a little queasy and he walked into the sitting room where his mother sat reading a book.

‘’I’m heading off now Mom,’’ he said.

‘’Be careful!’’ she warned. ‘’Because if you aren’t there’ll be war!’’

She handed him some cash with her lips pursed. She always made that face when she handed some money over to Charlie. He smiled and said ‘’Thanks!’’ before turning for the door.

‘’Oh and Charlie,’’ called Mary.

‘’Try and not to get into trouble with that Sean boy, I don’t trust him,’’ she said sternly.

Charlie nodded and closed the front door behind him. The evening air was cool yet warm and the sky was painted with blues, pinks and oranges as the sunny day transcended into dusk. He noticed that Dave’s car had suddenly pulled up outside the house with Rachel in the passenger seat. Charlie stopped halfway down the front path and looked at the car.

Rachel and Dave were fighting.

Their inaudible speech was muffled under the loud roars and screaming. Rachel looked furious as she was using her hands a lot. She always did that when she was angry. Dave just sat stiff and shouted at her like an angry gorilla. She got out of the car and slammed the door as hard as she could.

Charlie’s eyes widened as she was dressed in the same outfit he had tried on a few weeks ago, the high waisted skirt, the vest, the tights, the blazer and even the heeled ankle boots. What a coincidence because she must have only worn the outfit once before.

She opened the gate and strutted up the front path barely noticing her brother who was right in front of her. Her eyes were red raw and puffy from crying. Charlie’s heart ached for his sister.

‘’Rachel what happened?’’ he asked.

‘’Buzz off Charlie!’’ she sobbed.

And then the front door slammed. He looked at the door and then at the garden gate. He didn’t have much time to go inside and tend to his sister. He had to get going and Rachel didn’t seem to be in the talking mood anyway. What did Dave do to her?

***

Later that night Charlie, Sean and Joseph strutted down the dark street towards the nightclub. Charlie’s phone vibrated in his jeans. He scrambled for his pocket and whipped out his phone to see he had a text message from Julie.

‘’Where are you? x ‘’

He began tapping frantically at the keys.

‘’I’ll be at the club in 5 mins…’’

He hesitated for a moment and added an x to the end of the message. He suddenly felt really corny and seamy but everybody apparently did it. He hoped it didn’t seem too much.

‘’Stop looking at your fucking phone,’’ snapped Sean. ‘’We’re here!’’

Charlie looked up to see a dank looking neon sign reading ‘’The Valk’’ hanging over double steel padded doors. Two large bouncers dressed in all leather stood outside smoking. There was no line. The street was empty. Only muffled techno music could be heard. Suddenly Charlie felt scared. He was miles away from his sub urban home at that moment. If he didn’t get in he didn’t know what he’d do. Inside Julie waited for him. He was beginning to have doubts but he slapped his conscience to be a man.

‘’Right are we ready to do this boys?’’ said Sean in a deep voice, clapping his hands together.

‘’Yeah bring on the girls!’’ growled Joseph.

Charlie didn’t say anything as they crossed the road and approached the bouncers. Sean tried to casually walk by but he was stopped by an arm. A fat beefy man dressed in heavy leather clothes stepped out in front of him.

‘’Can I see your I.D.?’’ he asked.

‘’Awwwh shit!’’ cursed Sean. ‘’I left it at home!’’

The bouncer looked at the other large man and shook his head. They got this all the time.

‘’Alright then when’s your date of birth?’’ he asked Sean.

Charlie knew he didn’t stand a chance of getting in now. His night was ruined. His chances with Julie were thrown out the window and he was stuck in the city. He only wished that he could have had some drink before he left to gain a bit of confidence.

‘’Uh — um,’’ stuttered Sean. ‘’2nd of February 1983?’’

The bouncer stared at him with his eyebrows raised.

‘’So you’re twenty nine?’’ he said.

‘’Yeah, that’s it,’’ smiled Sean.

Charlie wanted to punch Sean so hard right now that he had to restrain himself from doing so. Twenty nine, seriously?! The bouncer cursed under his breath before leaning in close to Sean’s face. His breath smelled horrible and his unshaven face reeked of dirtiness.

‘’I’ll let you in on one condition, that you don’t drink and you’re out of here by 2.a.m,’’ he grunted. ‘’Do I make myself clear?’’

Sean nodded frantically. He looked as if he were about to wet himself. He was frozen stiff until Joseph nudged him ahead. He went inside the club and paid the ticket lady. Joseph had his brothers I.D. so he got in with no difficulty. That just left Charlie. The bouncer eyed him as if he was staring directly into his soul.

He didn’t say a thing to him.

Charlie gave a sigh of relief as he entered the club. As he stepped inside the hall he was hugely disappointed. There was barely anybody in the place. The red carpet looked at least thirty years out of date and the walls were already dripping with condensation. It was too hot the music playing was terrible. There was a slight scent of bubble bath and metal. He could understand why they let underage in. They were really, really desperate for the business.

‘’What a complete shit hole!’’ Joseph exclaimed.

‘’Who cares! We got in!’’ beamed Sean.

For once Charlie thought Sean had a point. They got into a nightclub underage without much effort. But his mind quickly turned back to Julie. He looked around the empty dance floor and over towards the couches but she was nowhere to be seen. Then out of nowhere somebody called his name.

‘’Charlie!’’ beamed Julie.

‘’Hey there!’’ smiled Charlie.

The two embraced one another in a tight hug. He didn’t want to let go. The smell of her hair made him feel woozy and even a little drunk. They broke apart. She looked stunning. She was wearing a short tight black skirt that was way above the knee. It was high waisted with a white ruffled blouse tucked inside. She wore transparent tights underneath and a pair of black pumps. Her gorgeous red hair was shiny, smooth and draped beautifully over her shoulders.

‘’Come on let’s get a drink!’’ she said, gesturing Charlie towards the bar.

One drink turned into two and then two turned into too many and within the space of under two hours Charlie and Julie were beyond tipsy. Charlie didn’t even notice how full the nightclub got. The place was jumping and he could have sworn that the music had gotten much louder. The dance floor was wedged with sweaty people dancing, dry humping and kissing. Almost everyone was underage.

Charlie had never really gotten properly drunk until now and it made him feel invincible, confident and brave. The more he looked into Julie’s eyes the more he was lost within her girlish nature, her eyes, her lips and her laugh. They had to spend most of the time shouting into one another’s ears over the loud music.

‘’Are you trying to get me drunk Charlie Smith?’’ laughed Julie.

‘’No, no, no!’’ insisted Charlie. ‘’Why would I want to do that?’’

Truthfully, he wasn’t. He was just being a gentleman. Now he was hoping that his insinuating question would invite Julie in.

‘’I dunno Charlie,’’ shouted Julie, her eyes sparkling. ‘’Why would you?’’

She wasn’t making it very easy for him and nerves began to emerge through the fogginess of the alcohol.

‘’Just to be nice I guess,’’ said Charlie.

Inside he was beating himself up. You stupid moron! He thought. Julie put down her glass and began to giggle.

‘’Come on, let’s go dance!’’ she smiled.

‘’What?’’ shouted Charlie, unable to hear her properly.

She moved in closer to his ear and shouted, ‘’DO YOU WANT TO GO DANCE?’’. She didn’t wait for a reply and she took him by the arm out onto the dance floor. By the arm.

‘’I thought I told you before Julie,’’ said Charlie. ‘’I hate dancing. The music moves me but it moves me ugly!’’

‘’Oh stop it!’’ laughed Julie.

Again, Charlie was trashing his conscience. Moves me ugly? Come on! He thought.

After a few minutes of cringe worthy dancing on Charlie’s behalf the two got separated within the large dancing crowd. Charlie had no idea how he could have lost her. Did she walk away on him? Did he? He couldn’t think straight. His mind was so foggy and he couldn’t even stand straight without swaying from side to side like a tower of plates.

He left the dance floor and regrouped with Sean and Joseph who were sitting on the couches with about eight other people from the school year. Charlie let himself fall onto the couch next to Joseph. He felt as if he could stay there forever. Apparently excessive alcohol made him feel incredibly dazed and tired.

‘’Did you bang your girlfriend yet?’’ asked Joseph.

‘’Joe, I’ve told you a million times before, she is not my girlfriend!’’ stated Charlie, his eyes shut tight.

‘’Aww you two are sooo cute together!’’ said Charlotte, a blonde haired girl sitting across from Charlie.

He loathed that word. Cute. He and Julie weren’t cute. They weren’t even an item in the first place. He pretended he didn’t hear the comment over the music.

‘’Did you though?’’ asked Joseph.

‘’No I did not bang her!’’ stated Charlie, opening his eyes at last.

He was still beating himself up for being such a coward about it all. He knew Julie had wanted to get with him, why couldn’t he just do it? He has had so many opportunities but he has chickened out of every one and he hated himself for that. He reckoned he needed more confidence. Yes, that’s what he needed.

He went to the bar and ordered himself another pint of cider. He bought drinks for his friends and sat around the table for the next while playing drinking games. He didn’t feel the transition between soberness and drunkenness until he went to the toilet. He stood on the cubicle with his hands on his head. His head was swimming and suddenly he felt as if he could do anything. A distant voice at the back of his head told him not to do anything hasty or stupid.

‘’I’m going to go out there and I’m going to tell Julie how I feel!’’ he mumbled to himself.

He then left the bathrooms to go look for Julie. The loud music and talking drained out his hearing and once again as he got back into the zone. His glassy bloodshot eyes trailed from side to side as he went up to the next level of the club, searching for the pretty red headed girl. Many friends and acquaintances from school greeted him as if they were his best friends. Many people he never even talked to randomly came up and gave him a friendly drunken hug. He just smiled all of these people away and continued to search for Julie.

He walked around the bar and the couch area before he seen something horrifying in the distance, Julie atop of another boys lap, kissing and cuddling him in an overly sexual manner.

There was once a time when Charlie was a young boy who loved to climb trees. One day when he was in the back garden of his old house he fell off from a tall pine tree in the corner of the garden and he hit the ground hard on his back. Every breath was sucked out from his lungs and he couldn’t catch his breath for at least five to ten seconds.

That’s exactly how he felt at that moment as he stared at Julie with the other boy. He felt a vicious lump form in his throat as hurtful rage spread across his face. Julie’s tongue was lurched down the boy’s mouth with her arms draped tightly around his shoulders as he slipped his hand up her skirt. They didn’t look like they were about to break apart any time soon.

Charlie had to look away. He couldn’t deal with the image so he went back downstairs, walking fast through the heavy crowds with his fists clenched. He needed to get out of there right now before he did something nasty. He hadn’t blinked since he saw them and as soon as he stepped outside into the chilled air he felt something powerful overcome him.

Hateful anger hurt and pain. He didn’t cry. He didn’t weep. He just walked down the dark street feeling the cold night breeze clear his foggy mind. Each time he blinked it burned his eyes like acid. He felt drained of all energy as his muscles began to feel like rusty hinges. It was 3.a.m.

‘’Julie, Julie, Julie...’’ he chanted. ‘’Why?’’

A car filled with drunk lads from the year above him sped by. They all stuck there heads out of the window and jeered at Charlie. He barely took notice of them. He did not want to call a taxi and he did not want to stay at any of his friend’s house. He wanted to be at home.

Charlie walked away from the nightclub feeling the cold stab of jealousy. He felt that he would somehow never be the same person again.

He walked through the many districts right into the early hours of the morning. He walked alongside the motorway which was already beginning to fill with cars as the dark sky began to get a little brighter. A tint of sunshine began to show on the horizon line before the large boiling sun began to rise.

Charlie’s muscles felt weak, feeble and disjointed. He didn’t know if he was either still drunk or sober at that point. He didn’t care.

He reached his suburban housing estate at the stroke of twelve past six in the morning. He crept through his front door and took off his shoes. He slowly walked upstairs and went to his room where he passed out on his undressed bed.

The thump of the car door made Charlie open his eyes. The sound of a second door slamming made him lift his sore head slightly. He listened carefully. The ignition jerked several times before the engine started up. He was as still as a statue as he listened to the low rumble of the car reversing out of the driveway. His could barely open his eyes as yellow crust shut them closed. His head thumped painfully as his stomach rumbled with discomfort.

He slipped out of the bed and wiped the sleep away from his eyes. For a moment he felt fine but then he remembered what had happened last night. He felt his heart ache as he walked to the window and parted the curtain. He could see his mother hatchback minivan driving away down the street.

It was 11:34.a.m.

He turned and left his room. He undressed from the clothes which he wore and slept in for the night. He felt dirty, sticky and extremely lousy. He stepped out into the cool corridor in only his boxer shorts.

‘’Why Julie?’’ he mumbled sadly. ‘’Why did you do it?’’

He could feel himself choking back tears. Tears. He hadn’t cried since he was a small boy. He sniffed it back and restrained himself from doing so. He hopped in the shower. The sensation of the warm water cleansing his body and mind was incredible. When he got out, wrapped a towel around his waist and went to his room to get dressed he felt much, much better.

As he dried his hair with the towel he heard his phone vibrate in the jeans which were crumpled on the floor. He swallowed hard as he took his phone from the pocket. He had over a dozen missed calls and texts from his friends wondering where he was. Charlie looked at the most recent text which he had just received.

1 new message from Julie.

He raised his eyebrows and scoffed. What was in the text? What had she to say? Was it to say sorry? He opened the message and read.

‘’Hey where did you go last night? I was so worried about you!’’

Charlie’s arm flung forward at the wall and within a second his phone was smashed into tiny pieces. He breathed through his nose like a fiery dragon as his face boiled red. His arms were shaking. It was as if somebody else had just controlled his body and he was just the passenger.

He had never felt such terrible fury inside him.

Summary: That same painful day that Charlie experienced in Episode 4 is retold here from the perspective of this twin sister Rachel as she goes on a date with her boyfriend Dave O’Donnell. Little did she know that her day would be just as painful as her brothers.

Rachel sat in front of her makeup station brushing her hair whilst humming a soft happy tune. She had just dried her hair after getting out of the shower. She was dressed only her in bathrobe as she wasn’t in the least bit cold because outside the sun was splitting the rocks and melting the tar on the roads. As soon as she was done brushing her hair into a silky shiny doo she walked over to her chest of drawers and began to put on her underwear.

As soon as she was done that she walked to her tall wardrobe and stared into it. She couldn’t believe that he hadn’t even decided what to wear for her day out with Dave the night before. But at times she even surprised herself when it came to planning. She browsed carefully, eyeing each outfit as if she were buying it for the first time. She found something perfect, girly yet elegant an pretty.

It was a pink high waisted skirt with a black under dress, matching blazer and black tights with a grey tank top. She smiled to herself as she had completely forgotten that she had even owned such an outfit. She tried to remember when she last wore it, maybe once, twice before? In the long run she knew her boyfriend Dave would love it.

Ah Dave O’Donnell, the centre piece of her life.

Nearly fifteen minutes later she totted downstairs in full outfit, smiling gleefully to herself. She went to the kitchen where her mother, Mary was cooking a fry-up by the gas cooker. She looked worn, tired and her hair was in a mess. She was still dressed in her pyjamas She turned to her daughter and smiled.

‘’Morning Rachel!’’ she said.

‘’Good morning Mom!’’ said Rachel as she took her place at the table. ‘’Hey where’s Charlie?’’

Mary turned to Rachel with the frying pan in her hands and unloaded the bacon, eggs and sausages onto her plate.

‘’Oh he left early this morning with some red headed girl and went into town,’’ said Mary tiredly.

‘’Must have been Julie,’’ mumbled Rachel as she cut into her egg.

Mary closed the refrigerator door with a pint bottle of milk in her right hand. She pursed her lips as she always did when she didn’t know what Charlie was up to. She sat down across from Rachel and poured the milk into her glass.

‘’You’d think he’d tell his family if he had a girlfriend!’’ stated Mary, her eyes bulging widely.

‘’You know the way he is Mom,’’ said Rachel. ‘’He keeps those sort of things to himself.’’

Mary hummed lowly and began to dig into her breakfast. The clock was barely passed the stroke of 11:30.a.m when a car horn sounded from outside. Rachel’s face lit up as she jumped off of her seat and pulled on her stylish pink and black blazer.

‘’I thought he wasn’t picking you up until ten!’’ said Mary.

‘’I guess he couldn’t wait!’’ smiled Rachel as she headed for the front door.

Mary got up and followed her down the hallway.

‘’Well do — do you need money or something?’’ she asked urgently.

‘’No it’s okay Mom. I won’t need money today,’’ said Rachel as open the front door.

‘’Oh — well okay then,’’ said Mary, dumbfounded by the hastiness of her daughter. ‘’Well have a good day then sweetheart.’’

‘’Bye Mom!’’ beamed Rachel.

She turned and walked down the front path. The closer she got to Dave’s car the giddier and more frantic her posture and walk became. Mary stood at the doorway with her arms crossed as she leant up against the wooden frame.

‘’Hi Mrs. Smith!’’ shouted Dave.

Mary gave a wide fake smile and a wave before the car sped off down the road. The second she could no longer see the car her face dropped into a sorrowful yet angry expression; she rolled her eyes and shut the front door.

‘’Misses Smith,’’ she scoffed.

She looked down the silent hallway of her home and gave a weary sigh. She walked back into the kitchen and sat at the table staring into a trance. It was over five minutes before she broke away from her stare. She shook her head and blinked several times. The watery moisture in her eyes burned as water squeezed out from between her eyelids and dripped down over her dark sags. She sniffed as she dragged the chair across the floor and stepped up on top of it. She turned towards the wall where the air-conditioning vent was. She lifted it off and pulled out a small box of cigarettes. She sat down at the table once again, put one cigarette between her lips and raised the lighter to the tip. She hesitated for a moment because she felt that somebody else was in the room judging her.

But there was nobody else there. She was alone, so very alone. She flicked the lighter and flames ignited. The tobacco sizzled and burned as she inhaled deeply. The smoke went straight to her head and her lungs warmed up like a stove. She exhaled out through her nose and gave a slight choke, not because of the smoke but because of the tears.

***

Dave swerved his blue Ford Fiesta around a sharp corner which led onto the motorway. Inside the windows were rolled all the way down and the radio played upbeat dance music to reflect the wonderful summer-like day. The warm breeze blew through Rachel’s hair as she stared at her boyfriend with love and awe. He turned to her and took her hand into his. He drove down the straight motorway with his right arm controlling the steering wheel.

‘’So where are you taking me today Mr. O’Donnell?’’ smiled Rachel from ear to ear.

‘’I told you already that it’s a surprise!’’ beamed Dave.

‘’But I’m no good with surprises!’’ claimed Rachel. ‘’You can surprise me now and get it over with! Save us both the hassle!’’

He looked ahead to see if he was gaining on any vehicles. He then leaned in and gave Rachel a warm yet quick and loving kiss on the lips.

‘’I’m afraid that will have to keep you going until you get your surprise!’’ said Dave, gently letting go of her hand and returning to the wheel.

She looked at him for a few minutes. She felt like the luckiest girl on the planet at that particular moment as she observed his big strong arms, broad shoulders and his brown gelled hair. For a teenager who had just turned seventeen he had the build of a man in his prime physical state.

He drove way past the city and into the countryside. He kept his word and said nothing about the surprise. Rachel waited with great anticipation and couldn’t help but nag Dave to tell her where he was bringing her. He took a turn off at an old side road which trailed up alongside a tall mountain. Despite how much trust Rachel put in her boyfriend she felt a little worried. Why was he driving her into a completely remote area?

He’d never do anything to hurt me, would he? Rachel thought.

The tiny car pulled itself up the steep hills and through a patch of tall forest trees atop of a wide cliff ledge.

‘’Why are you bringing me all the way out here?’’ asked Rachel. ‘’I’m going to be honest I’m getting a little freaked out here!’’

‘’Don’t worry beautiful! You know I’d never do anything to hurt you, trust me. You’ll love it!’’ said Dave.

By calling her beautiful Rachel immediately fell under his lustful spell once again. The car turned up a steep road alongside a crater with no fence to prevent vehicles from falling off. It was rather frightening. Then as the little blue car reached the summit of the mountain, leaving a long trail of dust behind, the sky became clear once again as loomed over the hill.

Then, to their complete and utter awe they were presented with the most spectacular sight to behold. They felt like gods as they stared down upon the distant city before them. The glorious sun beat down its boiling hot rays over the metropolis whilst the sky retained a healthy cloudless tint of blue.

Rachel stepped out of the car completely breath taken with amazement. Dave chuckled as he climbed out of the driver’s seat.

‘’I told you you’d love it!’’ he smiled.

Rachel ran to her boyfriend and brought him in for a passionate kiss. She draped her arms around his shoulders whilst he rested his on her skirted hips. His lips were warm and soft against her full yet cute and pouty ones. They broke apart after a few moments of staring into each other’s eyes.

‘’You are so beautiful,’’ said Dave.

Rachel couldn’t help but squirm because she knew by the tone in his voice that he truly meant it. She pecked him once more on the lips.

‘’And you are so handsome!’’ she smiled.

Like a proper gentleman Dave set up a picnic by the cool green grass. Rachel lay down on the blanket and stared down at the view. Her eyes watered against the glistening sun as she let herself fall on her back. Her hair spread out across the blanket as she hummed with sheer warmth and happiness. She felt as if she had gone to heaven.

Dave was over by the car boot gathering cups, plates and food. As he looked through the trunk he spotted something in the corner. A pile of video tapes and a folder bursting with photographs and paper. He went all red and poked his head out of the boot to see if Rachel was nearby.

‘’For Christ’s sakes Dave,’’ he muttered to himself.

When he saw her lying on the blanket he sighed with relief and opened the spare tyre cabinet. He placed the tapes in the centre of the wheel and covered it with the carpeted board. He gathered his things, closed the boot and joined Rachel by the view.

‘’You are a really good guy,’’ said Rachel as he lied down next to her.

‘’Shhh the suns just going to your head,’’ joked Dave with a smile.

‘’No I mean really,’’ said Rachel, leaning up on her elbow and looking down on Dave. ‘’A really good guy and I’m so lucky to have you.’’

She kissed him on the lips and he returned it with more affection. They lay there together immersed in deep conversation for the remainder of the day as they looked down upon the wondrous view. But Rachel did most of the talking. Dave just lay there nodding and smiling as if he weren’t really listening.

Really? Wow! No way! You kidding me? I know what you mean! Hmm mm. Yeah. Nope.

After a short while Dave was starting to change. He became irritable, snappy and above all else really, really strange. He kept trying to move in on Rachel by kissing her repeatedly on the neck and feeling up her breasts.

‘’Dave, stop it!’’ Rachel would giggle. ‘’Please aren’t you listening to me?’’

‘’Of course babe,’’ grunted Dave. He lay back down facing up towards the bright blue sky with a sour look on his face. ‘’You were on about your brother?’’ he sighed sombrely.

‘’Yes!’’ exclaimed Rachel. ‘’He’s been acting really strange lately. I don’t know what to think of it.’’

‘’Really?’’ said Dave in an unconvincing bored tone. ‘’How?’’

‘’Well for one thing he barely looks at me in the eye anymore and he’s so god damn defensive, always snapping at Mom and me!’’ she said.

‘’Well maybe he’s got something to hide?’’ said Dave actually sounding a little bit more interested.

‘’What do you mean by hiding something?’’ asked Rachel in a suspicious tone.

‘’Jeez I dunno Rachel!’’ snapped Dave. ‘’Charlie’s obviously got a secret! Everyone has secrets! Just leave him be and he’ll be alright!’’

Rachel sat up and looked down at Dave with great concern on her face. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

‘’…nothing,’’ replied Dave darkly.

‘’Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out,’’ said Rachel getting closer to his face. ‘’I’ve been blabbing on about my problems all afternoon. Let me help you.’’

Dave shut his eyes and breathed through his nose angrily. He then opened his eyes to Rachel’s surprise they were filled with tears. He looked as if he were about to burst if he repressed them much longer. Rachel’s mouth hung open with shock but her eyes looked as if they were about to pour down with tears too.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ asked Rachel softly.

He closed his eyes and tears streamed down his cheeks like a water fall.

‘’It’s j-just -,’’ he sobbed. ‘’I d-don’t want this to end.’’

Rachel shook her head slightly with confusion.

‘’I mean us — you and me — together,’’ he said shakily. ‘’I don’t want it to end.’’

An expression of disturbance, pity and sadness spread across Rachel’s face. She was completely and utterly speechless. Dave choked back his tears and took a deep breath.

‘’P-Please say something,’’ he stammered.

‘’I — I don’t -,’’ stuttered Rachel. She was lost for words. She did not know how to comfort something when the shock of it was thrown straight at her. She was never prepared for this. The mere thought of Dave crying was ludicrous but there he was, lying on the blanket weeping like an infant child. Sure she had strong feelings towards Dave but even she was mature enough to realise that what they had wouldn’t last forever. They were just kids. ‘’Look — I — I’m going to be honest here Dave -,’’ she started. ‘’ — but I wasn’t prepared for this whatsoever. I mean -,’’

‘’You don’t love me?’’ said Dave like a lost innocent boy as he sat up at last.

She had hoped that he wouldn’t use that word. Even though it was boiling hot outside she felt her chest freeze over like ice as a wave of pity and awkwardness engulfed her heart. ‘’L-Love you?’’ repeated Rachel. ‘’Dave I really, really like you I do and I -,’’

‘’Yes or no?’’ demanded Dave.

‘’Dave you’re scaring me,’’ said Rachel, sliding away from him.

‘’Just answer the god damn question!’’ he roared.

Rachel got up on her feet as did Dave. She looked into his infuriated eyes searching for the boy she had feelings for but for some reason he wasn’t there all of a sudden.

‘’What’s happened to you?’’ said Rachel as her eyes welled up. ‘’Why you acting like this?’’

‘’Stop changing the subject and tell me if you love me or not!’’ Dave shouted.

‘’We have been going out for just a few months and you’re already questioning if we are in love?!’’ cried Rachel tearfully. ‘’Why are you doing this all of a sudden?’’

‘’Because I LOVE you Rachel!’’ bellowed Dave. ‘’I don’t ever want to be away from you! I want you to be by my side everyday and it pains me when you’re not! I want to make love with you but all these months you’ve been restricting us from progressing as a couple!’’

Rachel backed away from her boyfriend in fear as she looked into his crazed face. She could feel her windpipe close in as her heart ached with sadness. Her eyes quickly caught the bulging erection poking out in Dave’s jeans. Now she was really frightened.

‘’What has happened to you Dave?’’ she said as tears streamed down her cheeks. ‘’I thought we had something special b-but all along your feelings for me has just been some crazed obsession to have sex with me?!’’

‘’So you don’t love me?’’ said Dave darkly.

‘’P-Please,’’ sobbed Rachel. ‘’Stop this! Why are you destroying what we already have?’’

‘’Why am I -,’’ started Dave. ‘’YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAS RUINED EVERYTHING!’’

He then lunged forward and grabbed Rachel tightly by the wrist.

‘’Dave please! You’re hurting me!’’ cried Rachel.

He looked into her terrified eyes for a few moments. His hand twitched as if he were repressing himself to smack his girlfriend across the face. He managed to let go of her but the crazed psychotic expression on his hardened face remained.

‘’Take me home!’’ Rachel screamed. ‘’NOW!’’

Dave scowled at her and walked past her to go and pick up their stuff from the ground. Rachel was left standing there. She raised her hand to her mouth as she began to ball her eyes out silently. She couldn’t believe that he was acting this way. Was he actually showing his true side for the first time or is something else bothering him deep within?

They drove home together in bitter silence. The tiny ford fiesta moved down the mountain, leaving a large dust cloud behind as it swerved onto the old country road. The day was beginning to change into evening as the transition of dusk commenced. The warm breeze gushing through the car did not help Rachel’s excessive tears flowing back her cheeks. Dave drove violently often taking sharp corners that would throw Rachel into the door. He had a look on his face that said ‘’kill’’ as he swallowed back his sorrow and anger.

His dramatic change of personality came to be a shock to Rachel’s system. Dave, the perfect boy who always listened to her, held her and told her how much she meant to him seemed to have vanished into thin air. When he grabbed her by the hand back by the mountain he had a maniacal look in his eye that for one moment she thought he was going to rape her. The thought just made her more upset as she wiped away the flood of tears from her red raw eyes.

‘’Will you please stop crying!’’ snapped Dave as he turned off at a junction which led to the motorway.

‘’I can’t!’’ sobbed Rachel. ‘’Not until you tell me what’s going on!’’

‘’You don’t want to know the truth,’’ replied Dave in a dark moody tone of voice.

Rachel quickly turned her head to the window so she could hide her face from him.

Why is he doing this to me? She thought.

The sky was beginning to turn a slight shade of pink as the sun became more orange and radiant than ever. As soon as the wind swept away Rachel’s tears she rolled up the window and turned to Dave.

‘’Let’s be honest with each other for a second,’’ she said calmly.

Dave looked like he was about to explode as she said this but he took a deep angry breath and mumbled, ‘’…okay then.’’

‘’What has brought all of this on?’’ asked Rachel, half scared, half concerned.

It took a moment for Dave to answer. It was as if he couldn’t tell the truth because he was too embarrassed or something similar.

‘’Then that’s it,’’ said Rachel. ‘’If you won’t tell me then we’re finished.’’

Dave nearly crashed the car into an oncoming truck as she said this. He swerved out of the way, roaring his head off as the truck honked its horn loudly. He managed to get back into position on the right side of the road. Rachel’s knees were shaking erratically.

What a horrible day it has been for her.

‘’You don’t mean that,’’ said Dave. ‘’Please, please don’t say that!’’

‘’Then tell me why are you acting like this?’’ plead Rachel. ‘’If you tell me we can work it out!’’

‘’I — I just want to be with you forever that’s all!’’ he stuttered.

The line sent shivers down Rachel’s spine. Forever. She now knew the truth and she couldn’t believe how well Dave kept it from her. All along she thought he was giving her love and affection and she did the same in return but it was all just some sort of sick obsession. The way he grabbed her on the mountain, the erection, the crying, the pleading, the begging, the creepy lines, the piercing stares, the constant texting, and the unexpected surprise arrivals to the house, it all added up now. He wasn’t in love with her. His was infatuated with her.

They spent the rest of the car journey at one another necks screaming and roaring their heads. Despite the fact Rachel was defending herself constantly she felt incredibly unsafe around Dave now. It was as if her feelings for him had suddenly vanished and his had excelled beyond the boundaries of what people call love.

Dave pulled up outside Rachel’s house blowing his top off.

‘’Please we can work this out!’’ he cried.

‘’No, no, that time has long passed!’’ shouted Rachel pointing at Dave as if her finger were a gun.

‘’You know this is all your doing!’’ roared Dave. ‘’If you just told me you love me then -,’’

‘’LOOK JUST BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WHILE DOES NOT MEAN THAT I OWE YOU EVERYTHING!’’ shrieked Rachel, waving her arms about.

She thought she had burst her own eardrums as a loud ringing formed inside her ear. Her face was red, her eyes were raw and her makeup was all smudged and messy. Her hair was frazzled and her outfit was out of place. She opened the door of the car and said in a low threatening tone, ‘’I don’t want you to ever talk to me again! You are a sad, horrible pathetic little man and I will never love you!’’

‘’Rachel ple -,’’

She had already slammed the door and was opening the garden gate. Dave pressed his foot down hard in a fit of fury before speeding off like a lunatic down the cul-de-sac driveway. Rachel barely noticed that her brother Charlie was standing midway up the path, dressed for going out with a look of concern and innocence on his face. He must have been watching them.

‘’Rachel what happened?’’ he asked.

‘’Buzz off Charlie!’’ sobbed Rachel.

She opened the front door and slammed it behind her. Before her mother could get two words out of her mouth Rachel had stormed up the stairs and shut her bedroom door behind her. She dived into her soft cushiony pillow and cried. The pillow seemed to soak up the muffled sobs and wet tears like an emotional sponge. Her head pounded terribly from an agonising headache due to all the crying.

She didn’t stop until she fell asleep.

***

Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr Vrrrrrrrrrrr

Rachel’s eyes slowly opened to the vibrating noise coming from her handbag. It was her phone. She groaned as she slid over to the edge of her mattress, reached down and rummaged for her phone in the bag. The vibrating continued and it was making her increasingly angry. Her eyes were blinded was she stared at the little screen. It took a moment before she could open her eyes fully.

It was Dave.

37 missed calls. 12 text messages.

And it was just past six in the morning.

Rachel turned off her phone and slipped out from beneath the blankets. She guessed she must have been in a very deep sleep. She was still dressed in the same clothes as the day before. She felt extremely miserable as her head ached with pain. She could hear the faint creak of the front gate opening outside. She swung for the window, fearful that Dave had arrived at the house. She scurried for the window and parted the curtain to see Charlie walking up the front path looking even worse than Rachel did.

She sighed with relief, stepped back from the window and wondered what he was doing home so late. She was tempted to go down and talk to him but she felt she couldn’t bring herself to face him. A few moments later she heard his bedroom door closing.

She opened the curtains and looked out across suburbia. The sun was rising and the sky was beginning to lighten up. The memories and experiences from the day before began to tune into her mind once again, the mountainous view, the hot weather, the fight, the revelations and the overall disturbing nature that lay within her now ex-boyfriend, Dave.

Rachel couldn’t take her eye off of a bird which circled the sunlight sky squawking and tweeting to announce the new day. For some reason she wished she were the bird at that moment…

She went to the bathroom, stripped down, showered and dried herself off in her room. She then sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands. She exhaled deeply, her palms becoming damp with warm breathing.

‘’How could you have done this to us?’’ she mumbled.

She sniffed gently and choked back the tears. It hurt her throat to swallow down the painful emotions. She sat there for a long while just looking at her feet immersed in deep thought. She felt confused, disorientated and above all else lost. She did not know how she felt for Dave anymore. Despite the fact he turned out to be a very strange guy she still had feelings for him. Of course she did. But she felt as if she could never forgive him. It was truly over between them…

Later that afternoon Rachel went to the supermarket with her mother. Rachel’s face was a sickly pale and she looked very different as she wasn’t wearing makeup. She was dressed plainly in a hoody, tracksuit bottoms and uggs. Mary knew something was up with her daughter but she didn’t bother asking because of Rachel’s sensitivity. Besides, she was much too occupied talking about Charlie.

‘’Did you hear him come last night? Well I didn’t!’’ exclaimed Mary. ‘’It must have been very late when he got home! I was so worried!’’

As soon as they were done in town they went home, again in silence. Rachel shut the car door, helped her mother carry the bags into the kitchen and went upstairs to her room. On her way down the corridor she walked by Charlie’s open bedroom door. She stopped dead outside as the corner of her eye caught Charlie sitting on the edge of the mattress with his face buried in his hands.

He looked up to see his sister looking at him. His eyes were wide, bulgy and watery.

‘’Oh, Rachel,’’ he said, standing up and sniffing back the tears. ‘’I’ll be out in a second.’’

He closed the bedroom door on her face and turned away. He took several deep breaths and rubbed his eyes.

‘’Charlie?’’ said Rachel softly on the other side of the door. ‘’Charlie, are you okay?’’

She slowly opened the door and crept in as if her brother were about to attack her. He turned around with a forced crooked smile.

‘’Hey Rachel, where were you and Mom gone to just now?’’ he said casually.

Rachel closed the door behind her and leant up against it. She stared into her brothers eyes for the first time in a while. He looked to be in terrible pain, hurt and very angry. Her eyes trailed around the room. She took a quick glimpse at the broken phone, smashed into tiny pieces across the floor. For a moment they interlocked eyes as if they were connecting somehow.

‘’I broke up with Dave,’’ said Rachel, softly staring into her brother.

Charlie swallowed his sadness down and nodded once. His stomach gurgled as his heart climbed up his throat. The inside of his mouth suddenly felt warm and stingy.

‘’I uh — I don’t know what to say to that,’’ he said in a broken tone.

They didn’t say a word to one another for a moment.

‘’What happened to your phone?’’ asked Rachel, looking down at the broken shards.

‘’I sort of got a little bit out of — I got uh —,’’ stuttered Charlie. It was as if he couldn’t find the right expression.

‘’It’s okay,’’ said Rachel softly. ‘’I understand what happened. You don’t have to say anything.’’

They sat down together on the bed.

‘’Did she hurt you?’’ asked Rachel.

‘’She did more than that,’’ Charlie scoffed. ‘’She doesn’t even realise what’s she has done to me.’’ Charlie was finding this whole situation awkward yet strangely comforting because he usually didn’t share his feelings with Rachel. He turned to Rachel and said, ‘’You know I never trusted that Dave guy. He seemed a little off to me right from the very beginning.’’

‘’You don’t even want to know what kind of person he really is,’’ said Rachel in a low serious voice.

‘’You’re probably right,’’ said Charlie.

Then, to his surprise Rachel put her arm around him. It had been a long time since she had done that but he responded with the same gesture. Their heads bobbed against one another as they both felt one another’s pain equally.

Little did they know that the worst was yet to come . . .

SUMMARY: Charlie may not have cross dressed in weeks due to the troubling conflicts in his life but now his overpowering desires and urges to dress up have resurfaced after being repressed deep down. And as a result they will make him take the biggest risk of all.

Since Charlie and Rachel’s day of sorrow three weeks ago, much has been altered in their lives. For a brief time they became closer than ever as they shared their feelings with each other. Emotions of pain, jealousy, hurt; anger and betrayal were common occurrences of feeling in their deep immersive conversations. Despite the fact that their mother felt alienated and that she was alone in the universe she still felt a glimmer of happiness in her heart as her children bonded again after so many years.

But they were blind to how their mother felt.

At school, Dave frequently tried to gain Rachel’s attention but she refused to listen to him. It infuriated him and he would often break out in a comical fit of rage on the schoolyard. One night he turned up at the house knocking on the front door like a psychotic maniac. Mary opened the door and ripped him out of it, ‘’Don’t you dare come to this house anymore you little prick!’’ she threatened. ‘’If I see your face on my doorstep again I’ll call the police!’’. Yes, Dave left and never came to the house again but that didn’t stop him from harassing Rachel. Every time she logged onto her Facebook account she would be bombarded with dozens of messages from him. It was if he was waiting for her. She had to delete him as a friend completely. Every so often she would receive texts pleading for her to take him back. Eventually all of this died down but every so often he would re-emerge from the shadows fiercer than ever.

As for Charlie he slowly drifted away from Julie. The Monday following their night out she greeted him outside the school as though everything was completely normal between them. ‘’Hi Charlie!’’ she beamed, taking him in for a tight side hug. He gave an awkward meek smile, daring to bring himself to look at her in the eye. He didn’t talk to her all day and eventually he stopped all together. Yet, when he received a text from her he couldn’t help but feel excited. He fell for this frequently before the broken shards of feelings for her were crushed when Julie’s best friend Rebecca confirmed that she didn’t have feelings for him. Ever.

All along she was just full on and flirty. It wasn’t her fault. It was just the kind of person that she was. But Charlie didn’t see that. For days it tortured his mind and pained his chest. He lay awake for hours into the night just thinking about her. He dwelled over his agonising emotions until he compressed it and pushed it away into the back of his head like a little rotten ball of terrible memories. He didn’t cry over her. He couldn’t do it. His feelings for her seemed to be replaced with numbness. For him this was much worse than feeling angst. The sensation of emptiness, hollowness and bareness made him think of himself as a shell. Every so often he would think of Julie. His heart would ache sadly yet slightly as if it were some long lost forgotten feeling. His eyes would burn and his forehead would gleam with sweat but he shook it away each time. And then after a few weeks he had completely forgotten the whole thing.

Or so he thought.

***

Kelly Ann Jennings, a sporty blonde haired girl stood in a group of similar looking girls in their tennis outfits. She was laughing, smiling and using her hands to talk in an overtly feminine manner. Her thick blonde hair was tied up in a ponytail and left hanging over her white sports visor hat which sat snugly around her head. She wore a white polo shirt which had a light navy outline around the rim of the collar and the sleeves. The short t-shirt sleeves were slightly puffed and the bodice hugged her chest fixedly. Over that she wore a cotton v-necked vest, coloured it navy with a white trim around the neckline and lower part of the sweater. Flowing freely around her hips was a pleated white skirt that lengthened half way down her thigh. She wore white knee-high tube socks which were tucked into a pair of matching tennis shoes with a navy streak around the sole lining.

Charlie couldn’t stop looking at Kelly’s uniform. He felt oddly attracted to it. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time since he last cross-dressed. Inside his head he scoffed to his conscious mind. He had almost forgotten that he had dressed up in his sister’s clothes just over a month ago. Thinking about it now made him feel slightly ashamed yet oddly alluring. He couldn’t help but say to himself, ‘’what on earth was I thinking?’’. It seemed so surreal, almost like a dream.

He stepped into the skirt and pulled it up, the polyester fabric gently stroking against his shins as he pulled it over his knees. The skirt slithered against his skin as he pulled it up over his thighs and adjusted it around his waist. He tucked the blouse in, carefully and neatly. He then zipped up the skirt, tightening the band around his waist. The sound of the zipper gave him chills.

A warm sensation engulfed his body as he looked at Kelly Ann’s skirt. His eyes glistened as if he were staring at a beautiful fireworks display. He couldn’t help but feel a little aroused.

‘’Charlie!’’ called a muffled voice.

He suddenly broke away from his piercing stare at Kelly Ann’s tennis uniform. He gasped, feeling startled and disorientated as If he were just pulled out from beneath the sea. He turned to see who was calling him. Sean, Joseph and Alan were looking at him strangely.

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, a tone of anger in his voice.

‘’You checking out Kelly Ann?’’ winked Sean.

‘’I dunno why you bother mate because you wouldn’t stand a chance,’’ stated Joseph.

‘’Screw you!’’ shot Charlie.

Charlie returned to the normal world once again as he ate his lunch with his friends on the wooden benches of the schoolyard. He wondered how long they were looking at him staring at Kelly Ann. He frequently disconnected himself from the rest of the world as he stared into his own but in recent times it was becoming more prominent. As far as his friends were concerned he was checking out Kelly Ann’s body, not her outfit.

Charlie looked over at Kelly again, this time paying attention to everything around him but she left her spot after a few minutes. He had a strange itchy on the inside of his thigh that wouldn’t go away. It was warm and irritable yet sensuous.

Alan, a large lump of boy who sat beside Joseph was staring at Charlie as if he had two heads. He had a look of innocent concern on his face as if he knew Charlie needed help with something.

He stepped into the legs and pull them up his shins, over his knees, stroking his thighs and up above his waist. It was a lovely feeling of softness and femininity as they hugged his legs comfortably yet tightly. It was heavenly.

No! He thought to himself. He quickly looked away and concentrated on his lunch. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t go down that path again; to try on clothing of the opposite gender. Not after last time when he was almost caught by his mother. He hadn’t thought about it for weeks because his mind was too busy on Julie and his problems at home. He thought that his desires were only a passing fancy but they were rising from the ashes of his problems once again.

He got up from his seat with his lunch. Alan’s eyes were still fixed on him.

‘’I’ll be back in a few minutes,’’ muttered Charlie.

He noticed Alan staring at him through the corner of his eyes. His fat plumped up face turned red and he immediately looked away. Charlie felt a little suspicious but he went back inside the school building walk to nowhere in particular. As he walked through the corridors he couldn’t help but stare at every girls rear-end.

The skirts, the skirts, the skirts, the skirts, the tights, the tights, the tights, the socks, the socks, the socks.

He could feel his skin beginning to boil as he turned his head away from an attractive girl. He suddenly felt incredibly seedy, looking upon other girls like some sort of a depraved pervert. But then he realised that he wasn’t perving on the girls. He was admiring their feminine clothes with great passion, need and lust.

Suddenly, somebody put their hand on his shoulder and turned him around to face them. It was Dave.

Fuck.

‘’Listen here Charlie,’’ he said in a low voice. ‘’Can we talk for a minute.’’

Dave looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot, his clothes reeked of smoke and his overall appearance seemed slightly scruffy.

‘’Look — Dave if this is about my sister then forget -,’’

Dave hushed Charlie and pulled him into an empty classroom. The way Dave grabbed Charlie by the arm made him feel extremely uncomfortable.

‘’I need you to talk to Rachel for me,’’ he said calmly. ‘’Get her to come through to her senses. Tell her that I’m not a bad person!’’. He took a deep breath and twisted his neck. The cracks made Charlie wince. ‘’Look, I love your sister man and I’m pretty sure she still feels the same. If you could just convince her to call me for just five minutes it would mean the world to me.’’

His behaviour made Charlie feel uneasy. He had a crazed look in his eyes that would disturb any normal being. He was truly obsessed with Rachel.

‘’Look man, I don’t know what’s going on between you and my sister -,’’ lied Charlie, trying to seem oblivious to everything. ‘’- but it is none of my business and if you really want to talk to her then just wait and she’ll eventually come through and talk to you when the time is right.’’

Yeah right. She hates you.

‘’I’m done waiting!’’ said Dave, raising his voice. ‘’It nearly been a month and I haven’t talked to h-her.’’

His eyes began to water up and for a moment Charlie thought he was about to witness this so called man break down and cry. But he didn’t. He took several deep breaths and choked back the tears.

‘’I think it’s time you let her go then,’’ said Charlie. ‘’I mean, it’s over between you two. Get over it and move the hell on.’’

Dave looked at him as if he were about to kill him. His brow was arched, his eyes were aflame and his mouth was fixed to a raging frown. He waited to be punched but instead the file cabinet received one hard crashing blow from Dave’s fist. The noise echoed across the classroom. Dave looked at Charlie one last time before slamming the classroom door behind him.

Charlie gave a sigh of relief and clenched his chest, gasping for breath. He didn’t even notice that he held his breath for over twenty seconds. From what Rachel told him he knew that there was something off about Dave but he didn’t expect it to be this bad. He’s a lunatic!

Charlie sat through his third period biting his nails whilst his left leg shook nervously beneath the desk. The teacher’s voice was drained out of his mind as he stared into space, daydreaming beyond and into deep thought. His eye caught the leg of a girl sitting one seat ahead in the row next to him. He stared at her feet. She wore a pair of brown dubarry school shoes and her legs were encased in soft black tights. She curled her right foot on the ground and bit the tip of her pen as she concentrated deeply on what the teacher was saying. She jotted down notes frantically as if there was no tomorrow.

The itch on the inside of Charlie’s right thigh began to irritate again. Why is it doing that? He wondered. He scratched at it gently for a moment before he shook away his thoughts. What the hell is happening to me? He thought. For a moment he wondered if he had a fever because he was starting to feel stuffy and restricted inside his school uniform. He loosened his tie and exhaled a long deep breath.

‘’Am I boring you Mr. Smith?’’ asked the teacher.

Charlie suddenly noticed that everybody’s heads were turned and looking at him, including Julie.

‘’I uh — no — no um, please continue,’’ stammered Charlie.

A few people laughed whilst the teacher frowned at him with disapproval. She returned to teaching the class about the ancient Aztec gods through her projected presentation. Charlie sat and watched the slides, bored and restless. He really wanted to go home badly.

When four o’clock finally arrived Charlie and Rachel sat on the wall outside the school waiting for their mother to pick them up. On this particular day Mary finished early at the restaurant so she picked them up on the way home. This saved them just a mile walk but it was still nice after a long day of schoolwork.

As Charlie waited anxiously he looked around at the flood of students pouring out of the main entrance. His eye was suddenly caught by Kelly Ann Jennings once again. She was still dressed in the tennis uniform and it made Charlie’s insides gurgle with want.

I want it! I want it! I need that NOW!

Charlie shook off his urges and turned to Rachel.

‘’Hey how come you never joined the tennis club?’’ he asked in a conversing tone.

‘’Tennis?’’ laughed Rachel. ‘’You know I suck at sports Charlie. Why do you ask?’’

‘’Meh,’’ shrugged Charlie. ‘’Just wondering that’s all.’’

Later that evening, after dinner Charlie went upstairs to do his homework.

‘’Ugh, maths,’’ he muttered as he opened the book.

For the next two hours he sat at his desk in front of his window trying his best to work hard. But as always his best wasn’t enough. He completed his maths and moved onto the famous crowd pleaser History. He stared into this thick book reading and scanning each sentence but not actually taking in any information.

It was just creeping past 19:00.p.m when his mobile phone began to vibrate. It was the family ‘’spare phone’’ he had to use ever since he destroyed his last one. He unlocked the phone to see a message from Julie. His heart skipped a beat. He stared at the pixelated name for a moment, feeling half excited, half dread. He clicked into it and read.

Hi Charlie, I’m sorry to bother you. I understand that you are angry with me. I think I now know why. I’d rather discuss this with you in person and in private. Please text back.

He raised his eyebrow as he stared at the sentence ‘’I think I now know why’’. He reread the text several times before swallowing down his mixed feelings of hurt and pain. He didn’t know whether he should text back or not. Feelings of lust and affection were rapidly resurfacing within him and he didn’t like it one bit. He was just forgetting about her.

Does she truly understand? It bloody took her long enough! Thought Charlie.

In person and in private

He put the phone down and decided that he wasn’t going to text back. Why should he? After what she did to him that night he knew that he could never forgive her. He returned to his homework and tried to concentrate on learning something but the phone lay there, ready to be used and reply to texts at any time. He put a sheet over his phone to cover the temptation. He lost his muse for studying and began to think about something else. And that something else was the tennis uniform.

The short skirt, the pleats, the shin hugging cotton socks, the comfortable shoes, the soft shirt and the woollen tank top swirled about in his mind. It was like an annoying fly, buzzing around him, begging for attention. It wouldn’t go away. He kept staring into his history book but he wasn’t actually reading. The itch on the inside of his thigh returned and the warm sensations engulfed his stomach, gurgling like a tea pot as his mouth was sucked dry of saliva.

He lifted his head and stared out across the never-ending rows of terrace estates. The sky was pink as day transitioned into night. There were children playing out on the streets as the sun cast its last warm rays over the land. It was 20:23.p.m. He felt nervous as his left leg shook erratically.

Then something crazy cropped up in his mind. The little man at the back of his head, the one that is usually stopped by the voice of reason and conscience was growing taller and taller. It was mad, lustful and insane. It wanted out. A plan began to form in his mind on how to get his hands on a uniform. He couldn’t believe he was even thinking about taking such a massive risk but hidden side of Charlie, that was kept deep within for so long was ready to take over.

He didn’t think about it as he went for the door. He hesitated to go further as he grabbed the doorknob. Was he doing the right thing? If not how long would his urge last? Hours, days, weeks, months? His fingers fumbled around the metallic knob until he let go and backed away from the door as if it were a terrifying pathway into the unknown. For some reason his heart was pounding against his chest as if it was trying to max out its last beats in one go.

He had to sit down. He let himself fall back onto his bed and he looked up at the bare ceiling. He lay there motionless for a few minutes before the itch inside his thigh returned. He lowered his hand and scratched it gently.

Just think of it Charlie, the smooth slither of the soft skirt as you pull it up over your legs! The comforting softness of the socks, the blouse, the shoes and the sweater!

He felt ashamed for the way he was thinking but he needs said otherwise. To his shock his manhood was beginning to feel a bit stiff as it hardened. He tried to let go of his overpowering needs but the urge was building up inside him like an overflowing pot. If he didn’t obey them he thought he would explode. He continued to scratch the inside of his thigh before he sat up. He felt dizzy, disoriented and his vision blurred as he got up too fast. It was much darker outside. He was breathing heavily as if something were about to jump out and frighten him.

Over a minute later Charlie was on his bike as he cycled rapidly out of the cul-de-sac. The air was cold and the sky was a dark moody red. He couldn’t believe how fast he left the house, grabbed his coat and hopped on the bike. It was as if he had just skipped time or he couldn’t control his actions. But then he clearly remembered that he needed to do this.

His plan was to cycle to his school, see if there is anybody there, go down to the tennis courts and see if there were any security cameras in sight. He wasn’t going to try on the actual tennis uniform tonight, oh no, he was just going to observe every detail so he can be cautious and prepared for another better planned night.

Within a few minutes he reached his school building, a large red bricked building that had a late 1980’s aesthetic to it. To his amazement the school looked to be lifeless bar a few lights which were always left on for security reasons. He placed his bike on the rack, ran up the entrance steps and attempted to open the front door. A feeling of satisfaction fell upon him as the door wouldn’t budge. It was locked.

He looked over his shoulder and pulled his large hood over his head. He walked around the school, checking the inside of every window for life. He walked around the backyard to see that all of the benches, bins and tables were brought inside for the night. The main building was certainly locked up for the night. He walked across the yard, checked the gym building to find that it was also locked. It was looking good but was the girls changing room open?

He racked his brain to try and remember if any functions or activities took place in the school on a Thursday night. A light could have flicked on inside his head as he whipped out his phone and went onto the school website. He clicked into the school weekly calendar and browsed. Almost every night there was something on in the school such as adult classes, computer classes, committee meetings and club functions. But not tonight. He couldn’t believe his luck. Maybe if everything went the way he wanted he could snatch the uniform tonight and try it on at home.

Charlie ventured along the sideline of the football and soccer pitches until he reached the tennis courts which were surrounded by green trimmed bushes and a high fence. There was a building to the side where the commentator usually looked down upon the match from the top floor. On the lower basement level the boys and girls dressing rooms awaited.

He turned and looked back at the school. He never realised how far away the main building was from the tennis courts. He didn’t come down to this part of the grounds too often so everything felt new and fresh to him. He walked around the tall bushes to find the gate. There was just one man sized gate in the fence that gave entry to the courts and a larger double gate which led into the spectator stands. He was praying that it wasn’t locked. He kept looking above him to see if there were CCTV cameras but remarkably there was none as far as he could see.

He found the small gate to the court and it looked to be locked. His heart fell but then he realised ‘’Wait, I never intended to actually TRY on the uniform tonight anyway? I can just come back another night more prepared!’’. But he knew he was kidding himself. He really wanted the uniform now.

He then walked to the main double gates and they seemed to be locked too. He gave the gates a half hearted push. They wouldn’t budge. He then looked up. The gates must have been well over seven feet in height. For his small frame he knew he was very athletic and could probably jump and pull himself over.

He jumped up off of the ground and clenched onto the top of the gates. His arms shook erratically and his face scrunched up as he tried desperately to pull himself over. There wasn’t enough strength in his arms so he fell back down on the dusty ground. It was hopeless. He knew if anybody could see him at that moment that they would probably be laughing at him. He looked around himself to check just in case. Not a soul in sight. He tried to climb the gate again but he evaluated the same results.

He felt defeated as he picked himself up from the ground and dusted off his clothes. He turned and walked away from the gate looking glum as his face drooped into a sad frown. Then, something inside his head told him to not give in yet. A burst of adrenaline ensued within him and he turned, breaking into a rapid sprint with a sheer look of determination on his face. He jumped at the gate and pulled himself over within the blink of an eye.

He smiled to himself as he realised he was suddenly on the other side. He felt awesome, like a ninja. He only wished that somebody could have seen what he had just done but at the same time he was glad.

He entered the courts and walked down the stairs alongside the stand which overlooked the green. He walked onto the court, feeling out of place in the quite eerie place. His heart pounded fiercely as he walked into the tunnel which led to the dressing rooms. He approached the sign which pointed left for female right for male. He turned for female, half expecting to find a locked door but low and behold there was no door at all!

He gasped in excitement as he looked around the dark changing room, the rows of lockers, the benches, the showers and the dressing stalls. There was a slight scent of girl’s deodorant mixed with a sweet stinging smell that touched heavily on Charlie’s sensitive nose. He turned on the lights and the place was suddenly illuminated brightly.

He immediately began searching for a uniform left over. He didn’t want to be there for too long in case he was found. He didn’t intend to come this far but now that he was there he still felt he had to grasp the opportunity or he may not get another for a long time. He began opening each locker. Most were empty, a lot were locked. He looked under and over benches but all to no avail. Luckily he found a pair of white cotton socks in one locker but that was it. He kept searching. The metallic lockers were old and beaten up, held only together by a code padlock.

He thought he’d chance it by trying to lift the latch of the lock. He put all the strength he could into his arms as he pushed the padlock upwards. Then, to his surprise the lock loosened and door. He put his hands behind his head for a few moments as he caught his breath. Was it worth the effort? Was there anything he wanted in the locker? He looked inside to see that there was a gear-bag. He pulled it out, placed it on the bench behind him and unzipped it.

Inside was a figure hugging pink polo shirt with slight puffed t-shirt sleeves. It was fresh, clean and was waiting to be worn. He rummaged further into the bag and pulled out a short white pleated tennis skirt. He felt his knees shake as he touched the soft garment. He put it aside on top of the polo shirt and continued to empty the bag. He found a comb, a visor hat, a bottle of water and two wristbands but no shoes. If he had found a pair they would probably be one or two sizes too small anyway so it didn’t bother him.

He had the outfit assembled. All he needed now was some underwear. He would settle for just a bra as he felt that panties would be too far. He went to the laundry basket with the tennis uniform draped over his right outstretched arm. He rummaged through with one arm and pulled out a pink bra which looked much too small. He shrugged and added it to the pile. He didn’t find any panties but he was glad he didn’t. Just before he turned away his eye was caught by something poking out of the laundry basket. A light blue thong. Voices immediately began to echo from the back of his head.

‘’Jesus Charlie what the hell is wrong with you?’’
‘’You sick twisted man!’’
‘’Pervert!’’
‘’Homo!’’
‘’Eww you creep!’’

His eyes watered up as if these comments were real. But if everybody could see him now they would be. He didn’t notice but he was holding his breath. He gasped for air and turned for the dressing stall. It was ten past nine. He closed the stall door behind him and placed the outfit on the small bench inside.

He stared down at it, savouring the suspense, the pleasure and the agony. He noticed that the light blue thong was in the pile. It was as if it had followed him there. He felt shocked but then he searched his mind and he remembered he had taken it from the basket despite the fact he refused to go the extra length and try on a stranger's underwear. But that was only less than thirty seconds ago?

Weird?

He stripped down naked. His ears were attuned to detect any nearby presence. He was so frightened about being caught that he was shaking as he stepped into the thong. He pulled it up over his legs, feeling the cold satin fabric gently tickle his skin. His heart pounded against his ribs anxiously.

‘’I must be careful. I cannot be caught,’’ he muttered to himself.

He looked down, not believing what he was doing. The moment felt like a dream. It was so surreal, so out of balance yet oddly familiar and satisfying. But the fear of being caught remained present within his nerves and mind.

The thong felt uncomfortable to say the least. Charlie felt as if he wasn’t wearing underwear at all but at the same time he felt as if he had a wedge. He tugged at it but it kept sinking in. However the soft feeling of the satin against his genitals felt amazing. Goosebumps formed all over his skin and the hairs stood up at the back of his neck.

He picked up the tennis skirt and stepped inside it. He slowly, very slowly lifted it up over his ankles, shins, stroking against his thighs as he zipped the back up. The waistband was a little tight but it was bearable. He didn’t know why but the pleats and fabric made him feel like an actual girl.

But then he remembered, ‘’Wait, I don’t want to be a girl!’’

He chuckled quietly to himself as he picked up the pink bra and stuffed it with socks. If he knew he was going to try on the uniform tonight he would have bought some freezer bags on the way to the school. The last time he cross-dressed they gave a very realistic simulation of having breasts. And he loved it.

He put the bra on with no difficulty. He stuffed it with more socks and morphed the shape until they looked somewhat real. He could not see what he looked like but his feelings told him everything was great. The slight weight on his chest and the uncomfortable yet satisfying sensations of the thong made him feel so very feminine.

He picked up the pink polo-shirt and touched the collar. He couldn’t help but wonder whose outfit he was trying on. He never seen any of the girls on the tennis team wear a pink polo-shirt but then again he only seen the team every once and a while. He pulled it over his head and fixed it around his bodice and abdomen. It was certainly very figure hugging as his false breasts really showed their size. The t-shirt length puffed up sleeves really hugged his arms snugly and he loved the feeling.

He then stepped into the soft pair of cotton tube socks and he pulled them up over his shins. He had never worn tube socks before. He liked them very much but nowhere near as much as he loved the soft and gentle flimsiness of his sisters tights he had worn twice before.

He picked up the comb and began to brush out his long shaggy hair until it was long and soft enough. This took him about five minutes to do as he kept dropping the comb due to a colossal amount of nerves. He then picked up the sports visor and readjusted the straps to fit around his head.

The outfit was complete but now what was he going to do?

He stood there in the cubicle for a few moments just enjoying the feelings of dressing up again. It had been so long, so agonising yet forgetting. His urges for cross-dressing had only recently resurfaced, mainly due to his distancing from Julie, the girl who distracted him from his strange desires.

He stood in the stall listening carefully for anything outside. Nothing but the sounds of crickets and the distant rush of cars on the motorway was heard. Night had engulfed the day and it must have been dark out. He sighed and turned from side to side, feeling his skirt sway and flare prettily. He touched his shirt, his false bust and his hair. He wished he could see what he looked like; certainly not as convincing as his previous efforts anyway because his lack of makeup and hair products. He wished he had a mirror.

Then, a crazy thought came into his head. It was as if he no longer had a conscience as he dared himself to do the unthinkable; to go outside and onto the court to play a bit of tennis in his pretty uniform. He couldn’t believe he was even considering it because he could get caught. But then again what were the odds of somebody being out and about at half nine at night in a school tennis court? Little but not impossible.

He began to shuffle his feet nervously. His lower lip trembled and he could feel a cold sweat breaking out of his pores. It was as if somebody was tempting him and he was the unsure child who usually followed what was moral and right.

He pushed open the stall door and stepped out into the dressing room. He felt as if he was plunging off the edge off a one hundred foot high cliff into water surrounded by jagged rocks. He had his eyes shut closed as he stood stiffly in the middle of the room, afraid to open his eyes. Eventually he did. As his eyelids slowly lifted open he half expected to see some shocked janitor in front of him. But there wasn’t. He was still alone and he let out a gasp of relief.

He couldn’t believe his actions but he grabbed an old battered tennis racket and ball. His heart was beating faster than ever. He felt as he was running a marathon as he coyly crept out of the changing room. His pulse was swelling up and his knees were shaking nervously.

‘’You must be out of your mind Charlie,’’ he said to himself. He stepped out into the tunnel which led to the main green. ‘’I’m definitely out of my mind!’’

A few minutes later Charlie was out on the court hitting the ball against the wall, rebounding it back and repeating. He had a wide grin on his face as he jumped up, the skirt flaring upwards revealing his underwear. He ran back and over the court, his hair flopping about the place as he reached out for the ball with his racket.

The sky was not yet dark as it still had traces of red and purple but stars were beginning to show. It was magnificent. The red sky cast a shadow over the courts yet in places it was illuminated brightly.

Charlie completely blocked out the rest of the world as he ran about the court, enjoying the outfit to the maximum. As always the skirt was his favourite part. He loved the way it made him feel free, as if he wasn’t wearing anything at all. The breezy gush of wind, the way it swayed and jiggled from side to side made him feel exhilarated. He liked the t-shirt too as the slim fit hugged his body nicely.

As soon as he was done he was panting like a dog. He was tired and ready to go home. He had made sure that he sucked every last drop of enjoyment out of the uniform. He felt satisfied and now released that just wearing the clothes wasn’t enough. He had to live in it.

As he walked back into the changing rooms he couldn’t help but smile with relief and satisfaction. He was no longer worried or stressed. He wasn’t sacred or frightened. He felt free and alive.

***

Later that night Charlie was in such a good. The minute he arrived in the door his mother demanded where he ran off to. He told her that he had to go to Sean’s house to get some homework from him. He sat in the kitchen, eating and chatting to his mother. His spirits were high and he was now confident that he could go upstairs and finish his homework before going to bed.

He went upstairs to his room and closed his door behind him. He let out a happy sigh as he walked to his desk. He tackled his homework with great motivation and was done within a half an hour. He took out his phone to see that he had one new message from Julie.

His brain froze once again. He clicked into it and read.

Pleeeeease text me back Charlie. I need to know what’s going on here :(

He was in such a good mood that he text her back.

Sure Julie. We can talk tomorrow night. Where do you want to meet?

As soon as the message sent he threw himself into the bed and looked up at the ceiling. He felt exhausted after the long day. His muscles loosened up as he began to feel the soft comfort of his cushiony mattress. His phone vibrated in his hand.

‘’That was quick Julie,’’ he muttered.

He unlocked the phone to see that he had received a text message not from Julie but from an unknown number that was not saved in his contacts. For some reason the most horrible feeling overcame him as he looked at the strange number. He opened the text with caution and read.

I know things about you Charlie Smith! ;)

WARNING: This episode of Crossdressing Charlie contains blackmail, emotional and mental abuse along with sexual innuendo that some may find unsettling, disturbing or offensive. The dark themes only suffice for this episode and will lighten thereafter. Reader discretion is advised.

One fine summer’s day, when Charlie was ten years old he was out swimming in the sea with his old best friend Gerry Walsh. The sky was cloudless, the sun was splitting the rocks and the beaches were packed with civilians and families alike. The water was satisfyingly cool yet lukewarm. The sandy beach was literally black with people bathing and children running around, building sand castles and paddling in the water.

Ultimately Charlie wasn’t a very good swimmer. He could swim well enough for a short space of time but he had great difficulty in staying afloat. His friend Gerry beckoned him to swim further after him. He was literally on the tip of his toes as he looked up high so the salty water would not enter his mouth. The water was getting deeper.

The ripple effect of the waves lashed against his face continuingly and the excessive amount of salty water swallowed was beginning to make his stomach wretch. It was sick. Gerry continued to swim further out as he was fearless yet stupidly reckless. ‘’Come on Charlie!’’ he urged. ‘’We’re nearly at the bigger waves!’’

‘’I think I’ll head back now!’’ shouted Charlie over the loud rush of water. ‘’It’s getting very deep!’’

Gerry was now far away from Charlie, so far that he could only see his head in the water. He thought that Gerry couldn’t hear him so he took one step forward and he fell beneath the surface of the water. Down, down, down he sank like a helpless weight.

As his lungs squeezed smaller by the pressure he choked and gagged on nothing. His throat burned with trapped air and his ears were pounding. His heart was beating violently against his chest. All he could hear was the clear liquid that surrounded him as deathly silence fell upon him.

He sank lower, lower, lower, his arms and legs flaying but to no use. The sunlight glimmering down atop the surface became black as night. His muscles and joints were stiffening along with his mind. As he opened his mouth to scream all that came out was a queue of bubbles and he realized he had little time left. He no longer knew which way to go, which way was death and which was survival.

As Charlie stared at the text message I know things about you Charlie Smith! ;) these feelings of drowning returned to him. He couldn’t breathe. He could not function. His mind was as numb and as frightened as a confused child who had just experienced the most frightening moment of his life.

He didn’t think as he scrolled down to the bottom of the message to see the unthinkable attached. A picture of him dressed in the full tennis uniform, playing on the court which he had just done under an hour ago. He dropped the phone as if it turned into something diseased and buried his face in his hands.

‘’No, no, no, no, no, NO!’’ he cried.

He sat on the side of the bed breathing heavily with panic into his hands. They quickly dampened and his eyes began to burn painfully with moisture. Rotten thoughts and images of destruction began to flood into his mind. Who is this person? How did they find him? How did they even have his number? But most importantly who else knew about his secret?

He kept repeating ‘’no’’ over and over to himself like an insane person as he rocked back and forth. His heart seemed to be no longer present as if it had frozen, no longer usable. He had no time to consider it but this moment was probably the worst of his entire life. He knew that for sure.

He knew that if this unknown person told everybody his secret, his life would be destroyed forever and there would be no repairs. Nothing would ever be the same and he would be branded as a sick pervert for life. The picture of him in the tennis uniform could easily be posted everywhere around the school or even on Facebook for everyone to see and laugh at. The limitless possibilities and power this person now had over Charlie was immense. It was most palpable.

He took a deep breath and for the first time in a few minutes he could feel his heart beat once again but at slow steady thumps as his veins began to flow once again. Large purple bulging veins began to slow on his arms and neck. A loud ringing sounded in his ears as a headache quickly stabbed his brain painfully due to lack of breathing. The shock of the moment quickly transitioned into emotional disbelief.

My life is over.

He began to concoct various scenarios in his head. The unknown person may be gracious enough to not tell anybody or at least keep it between his/herself and Charlie. But it seemed highly unlikely. Why would the person text Charlie directly rather than just minding their own business.

This person wanted something. Why else would they let Charlie know that they knew his hidden secret? The thought of it all made him want to cry. However he wasn’t there yet. Not just yet.

He sat on the edge of his bed, his mind racing by the second as horrible thoughts flooding into his head such as his mother and sisters reaction to his secret. He knew they would try to act supportive but they would most likely be secretly concerned or disappointed at worst. Julie, what would she think? She certainly wouldn’t have anything to do with him ever again.

He tried to think about whom in his school could be evil enough to hold his secret ransom. He could think of several assholes who would give him a hard time about it but none that would take it this far. But then he realised that he was looking much too far into it. After all, the text simply stated, ‘’I know things about you Charlie Smith! ;)’’.

He didn’t take much notice but his hand was trembling as he picked up his phone from the ground. He reread the message and looked at the picture with great repulsion and awkwardness. The unknown person was there, watching him from the stands and he didn’t even notice.

He cursed himself as he felt beyond moronic. What was he thinking? Going outside dressed in girl’s clothes, it was mad. He wanted to punch his past self right in the face for being such a risk taking idiot. He knew it was a bad idea, but oh no, he still went and followed his brain and not his gut. Then again, it was very quiet and dark out. The unknown person HAD to have followed him there otherwise why would they be there in the first place? It was maddening him.

He replied to the unknown number asking simply, ‘’Who is this?’’. He didn’t want to write an essay pleading for the person to not tell anybody his secret or completely blow his top off and give them a thrashing. He didn’t want to give the person the satisfaction of sensing his utter terror, nervousness and weakness. He had to be calm.

His phone vibrated once again and he quickly looked at it to see it was a reply message from Julie. Again, he felt a powerful urge to throw his spare phone at the wall but he repressed his temper. He opened the message and read.

After school tomorrow at the cafe? :)

He no longer had the desire to meet with her. His good mood was long gone so he didn’t reply to her. He sat and stared at the tiny screen of his phone, anxiously waiting for the unknown persons reply whilst tapping his foot rhythmically on the floor.

The person never replied.

***

Charlie was curled up in a ball on his bed. His eyes were wide open, watery and bloodshot from lack of sleep. His hair was messy, his face was sickly pale and he couldn’t stop his left leg from shaking erratically. His head was thumping painfully and the inside of his mouth was as dry as a desert. The curtains remained open, letting the powerful beams of moonlight illuminate the room in a cold blue.

The digital clock on his beside locker turned over to 03:57.a.m.

He hadn’t closed his eyes to sleep all night. His phone remained clenched in his hand as he hopelessly waited for a reply from the unknown person. Then again he wouldn’t have slept anyways. He acted out terrifying scenarios in his head when people found out what he was. Each time he reached the conclusion of a loved one stating, ‘’I don’t want to talk to you ever again!’’ he would shake his head free of negative thoughts. But he couldn’t help it. How could he possibly remain calm and positive when he knew someone out there truly knew his deep secret?

His body was physically exhausted. His arms and legs ached along with his joints which were frozen and stiff. Each time he moved he could hear the cracking of his bones rubbing against one another. His mind however was wide awake and fully alert thinking about his devastating situation. The horrible combination made him feel so much worse than he felt.

As the hours drifted on he rarely moved in the bed. One minute it was dark outside and the next minute it was bright. He took notice of his surroundings as he basked in a pit of fear and sorrow. He felt that there was no way that his life would ever be the same again. He did not think that he was being overdramatic because It was the truth.

Whoever knew his secret was real and it was happening. If the unknown person wanted to he/she could own Charlie now as they held his secret hostage. If it did come to that he felt that he would do almost anything to prevent his secrets from being released to the world.

His mother suddenly arrived in the room and turned on the light. ‘’Oh,’’ she said. She thought it was odd how her son was already awake to get up for school and that the curtains were open. ‘’Come on, get up.’’

He didn’t protest. He didn’t give the usual groan of repulsion. He slipped out of bed, feeling the heavy weight of his own head paining his whole body. The lack of rest and sleep had taken its toll on his body. He suddenly felt the physical and mental exhaustion of his situation.

He forced himself into his school uniform and walked down to the kitchen like a zombie. Darks sags hung beneath his red raw eyes and his shaggy hair stuck up at the back. He looked like such a slob as he sat down and tried to eat some cereal. He wasn’t very hungry so he forced himself to eat half a bowl full anyway.

‘’You look awful Charlie,’’ stated Mary. ‘’Did you get any sleep at all?’’

Charlie mumbled something that sounded like tired old man on sleeping tablets.

Rachel joined him at the table, primly dressed in her uniform and looking totally rested and glowing in contrast to Charlie’s gloomy sleep deprived look. As soon as they were done they said goodbye to their mother and headed out the door to walk to school.

Rachel attempted to make conversation with her brother but he replied only with ‘’yeah’’ and ‘’no’’. She rolled her eyes and gave up after a few minutes of silence. They arrived at the school which was packed with students as always at that time of the morning.

Charlie parted with his sister and trudged into the school as if he were walking back into a torturous prison. He didn’t meet up with Sean and Joseph as he did every morning. Instead he went to the boy’s bathroom and splashed his face with water. It made him feel a little bit more awake but only for a few minutes before he sunk back down. He looked up into his soaked reflection.

‘’Why me?’’ he whispered to himself.

He sat through the first period of English, Maths and Biology with great disinterest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the text message. He was trying to decipher every single possibility. Maybe the unknown person was just going to leave it at that and never mention it again? But then, why would they text him in the first place if that was the case? He began to feel a fear greater than his for being caught. What if he never found out who knew his secret and he would have to spend the rest of his days worrying about it? The thought made him shiver all over. If that ever happened he’d probably do away with himself.

He had to know or else he would not be able to live with himself ever again.

Lunchtime was just as bad. He sat on the benches outside with his friends looking around at the crowd. He couldn’t help but think that somebody in the school knew. Somebody out there in the schoolyard knew his secret but they would not confront them. He looked into every persons face to see if they looked at him strangely. No one did but he still wasn’t convinced.

‘’What’s wrong with you today?’’ asked Sean.

‘’I’m tired,’’ said Charlie half truthfully. ‘’Didn’t sleep a wink last night.’’

‘’I think we all know why that is!’’ laughed Joseph.

Sean laughed too and high fived Joseph. Charlie just shook his head. He didn’t get what they were implying but who knew well it was some sort of sexual innuendo. He turned and looked out at the packed yard. Students lay on the grass talking in groups, eat lunch and looking over homework. Some were just strolling around with their friends whilst others sat against trees reading books.

Charlie’s eyes trailed around the yard observing each and every face extremely carefully. He felt strange, uncomfortable as if some ghostly presence was breathing down his neck. He felt that the person who texted him was out there, staring at him, hidden deep in the shadows.

Without saying anything he got up and walked out into the yard. He blocked out his friends calls and shouting as he drifted into the crowd. He felt as if everything was slow, suspended in slow motion as he looked at everyone. It was as if he was the only one in the world. His ears drained out all sound as his mind needed maximum concentrating.

If the unknown person wouldn’t reply to his text then he swore to himself that he would hunt him/her down. He moved through the crowds like a stealth predator. Some noticed him looking at them so they flashed dirty looks, others didn’t. His eyes narrowed on some people who looked a bit suspect but he knew deep down that it wasn’t who he was looking for. He felt as if the shadowy person was hunting him also. As if they were doing the exact same thing as him somewhere else within the hustle and bustle.

Then, Charlie spotted something out of the ordinary standing in the middle of the crowd, staring straight at him. A tall built boy with brown gelled hair, big arms and manly features. A devious grin slowly spread across Dave O’Donnell’s face as he flashed Charlie an impudent yet obtrusive wink.

It was him!

Charlie suddenly felt his blood beginning to warm up again yet his face turned paler than ever. His heart was literally in his throat as his brain froze in moment. Their eyes interlocked, gazing into one another’s with a mixture of confusion and apprehension. Charlie’s shocked, scared and angry eyes were in complete contrast to Dave’s cunning and devious ones.

Charlie rapidly walked over to Dave, no longer afraid but concerned. The smile still hadn’t been wiped from Dave’s face as he looked down at Charlie smugly. Charlie couldn’t help but hope that he was right. That Dave was the one who knew his secret.

‘’It’s you isn’t it?’’ said Charlie, somewhat breathless.

‘’I’m sorry Charlie what are you talking about?’’ said Dave in an overly false tone.

For a second Charlie thought he had made a terrible mistake but he quickly realised that Dave was just screwing with him.

‘’You know what I mean,’’ said Charlie seriously. ‘’Can we talk?’’

‘’We are talking,’’ smirked Dave.

‘’Somewhere private,’’ said Charlie angrily through gritted teeth.

The two left the yard in silence and walked into an empty corridor on the side of the school building. Charlie couldn’t believe that it had already come to this. He had never intended on being caught ever and now that it had happened he felt speechless to say the least. So he asked the most important question first.

‘’How did you find out?’’ asked Charlie sternly.

‘’Find out about what?’’ said Dave in a doped voice. Charlie could see in Dave’s eyes that he was enjoying every moment of his anxiety. He loved the fact that he knew somebody’s dark secret and that he could torture them mentally as much as he liked. ‘’I’m afraid I have no clue what you insinuating!’’

‘’Cut the fucking crap asshole!’’ roared Charlie at the top of his voice.

Dave looked into Charlie’s eyes and then down each end of the corridor with great calmness. Within the blink of an eye he aggressively pushed Charlie up against the wall, pressing his forearm against his throat with extreme pressure. He had a terrifying look in his eyes. Charlie, both shocked and horrified couldn’t believe that very moment as he gagged for air.

‘’Now look here ‘asshole’ you’re the one who’s the bitch here, not me! So don’t you dare treat me like one!’’ spat Dave through angry gritted teeth. His face was so close to Charlie’s that he could feel his warm breath pelt against his cheeks and the slight spray of saliva. His eyes were aflame and unhinged.

Charlie never felt so threatened and weak in his life. Dave’s arm could have been a knife he was that scared. He was utterly speechless as Dave knocked the anger out of him and replaced it with total fear. Dave’s strength had Charlie pressed so hard against the wall that he could barely breathe. His feet were also slightly elevated from the ground. He couldn’t cry for help and he couldn’t beg for mercy. This was between him and Dave. No one else.

‘’Please l-leg g-g - ,’’ choked Charlie.

‘’I have discovered your perverted little hobby, so what?’’ whispered Dave in a low grumbling tone. ‘’What do you think you’re going to do about it?’’

‘’J-Just please -,’’ grunted Charlie, his face beginning to redden. ‘’ - please d-don’t tell anybo -,’’

He could no longer speak. The severe pressure on his throat was beginning to make him feel dizzy. He knew he was going to black out. Dave loosened his grip but didn’t remove his arm. Air began to feel Charlie’s lungs again as he gasped loudly. Dave moved his face in so close to Charlie’s that he could have been about to kiss him. Charlie refused to look at him the eye.

‘’Look at me,’’ said Dave coldly. ‘’Look at me!’’

Charlie looked into Dave’s deep eyes, only centimetres from his own. He could feel rage swelling up inside him at that moment.

‘’If I choose not to tell anyone,’’ whispered Dave. ‘’What will you do for me?’’

Charlie hated the way he said ‘’What will you do for me?’’. It sent painful shivers down his spine. It sounded so seedy, so perverted. Charlie’s brow arched and his face boiled with rage. The unfairness of Dave’s behaviour was starting to really aggravate him.

‘’I don’t have to do anything for you!’’ spat Charlie.

Dave let go and backed away from Charlie with a large smile spread across his face.

‘’Okay then!’’ he grinned.

He left Charlie dumbfounded as he strutted off down the corridor whistling happily. Charlie knew he wasn’t off the hook so easily. He knew Dave was about to tell the entire school. Sheer panic and fear ensued within him as he broke into a sprint down the hall after Dave.

‘’Wait!’’ he shouted.

Dave turned and looked down at Charlie with a pleased look of fulfilment on his face.

‘’What do you want me to do?’’ gasped Charlie, almost completely breathless.

Slowly, very slowly a Grinch-like smile of pure malice spread across Dave’s face. He looked like a starving wolf staring down at a piece of juicy piece of meat as he crossed his large arms with satisfaction.

‘’Come to my place at seven o’clock this evening,’’ said Dave.

He simply left it at that and walked back down the corridor whistling gleefully with his hands in his pocket. Charlie for one, stood speechless and stiff in the middle of the hallway. His mind was an exhausted, tired and hazy mess as his fingers fumbled nervously.

What was Dave to do with him that night?

***

He sat on the side of his bed, anxiously turning his head to the clock every few seconds. His leg was hopping up and down nervously as his eyes blinked repeatedly every second. He was no longer tired nor was he exhausted. The feelings had long past. Now they were replaced with worry and anxiety.

Charlie had no idea what Dave had in store for him but one thing he knew was that it would most likely be something bad. As he had done since he found out his secret was revealed he acted out several scenarios in his head. Would Dave bring a load of friends to his house and humiliate him in front of everyone? Would he beat him up or harm him? Or something worse?

The waiting was killing him. It felt like the pressure before a very important test multiplied by the thousand. The nerves, the fear and the bitterness were tearing him apart by the inch within him. He had not eaten, he had not done his homework and he did not interact with his mother of sister since he arrived back from school.

His thoughts dwelled on time. When it came to go to Dave’s house at seven o’clock he was sure that he would faint or at least collapse under the huge amount of terror and fright. He decided to lie on his bed and close his eyes. He tried to disappear from where he was. He tried to escape his inner/outer turmoil by imagining a better place. But he couldn’t.

He lay there in agony, not knowing what that evening’s events would bring. The clock seemed to not be moving at all and the hands were moving backwards rather than forward. His mother came up to the door every so often to ask if he was alright but he only responded by claiming he was studying hard. Yet he knew he mother wasn’t fooled so easily. She left him alone nevertheless.

Rachel was in the next room studying hard for her summer exams which were over three weeks away. He knew he should be doing the same but the distressing events that forced its way into his life made him repulse the notion of doing anything other than wallowing in a pit of worry and depression.

When quarter to seven arrived he got up and left the house. He told his mother that he was going to see Sean and that he would be back soon enough. As he grabbed his bike from the shed he noticed that his knees were shaking erratically. Odd? He thought. But then again he couldn’t blame himself. He had no idea what Dave had in store for him. He didn’t even dare think about the numerous prospects.

As he cycled out onto the suburban driveway and pedalled hard he felt the cold stab of fear fall upon him. He was on route to a complete maniac’s house to do god knows what. He suddenly felt weak, feeble and small as he cycled to the demons lair. The wind that blew through his shaggy hair would usually make him feel good but at that moment he felt he could no longer enjoy anything else ever again.

He had a fair idea of where Dave lived as he heard Rachel mention it a few times when she was going out with him. It was rather far from his house as it was way past the school and in near the city. He had to cycle fast if he was to get there in time. He wasn’t sure if it was the nerves of the rapid pedalling but his heart was racing a mile a second. Cars whooshed by him on the long busy roads at high speeds as he zoomed towards his destination rapidly.

He arrived at Dave’s address in the nick of time. It was a regular suburban lane with large and unique houses on each end similar to where Charlie lived except way fancier and clean. He got off his bike and walked up the lane, looking at each and every house for Dave’s little blue Ford Fiesta. But he couldn’t find it. He walked to the very end of the lane until he met the dead end. He looked around himself confusedly. He walked down to the other end again. Perhaps he was in the wrong place?

It was then that he saw the fiesta swerve into the suburban street and drive towards him. Standing in the middle of the road with his bike in hand he saw Dave through the windscreen looking ever so happy as he pulled up and parked his car in the driveway.

Charlie trudged towards him with his head hanging low with shame. What on earth was going to happen now? Now that the moment had arrived he felt more frightened than before and he thought that wouldn’t have been possible.

Dave got out of his car and said, ‘’Hey Charlie, how you keeping?’’ in a casual every-day tone.

Charlie didn’t know what he could possibly reply back to him. This boy was a pure psycho who was threatening him by holding his cross-dressing desires ransom to the world. So he lied by simply saying, ‘’I’m alright.’’

You sad pathetic man.

Dave took a shopping bag out from the front seat, walked up to the front door and unlocked it. He stepped inside, wiped his feet and turned to Charlie who was standing down on the porch.

‘’Well come on then?’’ he urged.

Charlie, hesitant to go any further felt as if he was staring into a doorway to hell. He had no idea what lay inside for him or what would happen. He was expecting a crowd of Dave’s friends to either attack him or laugh and jeer him until he can no longer handle himself. Or maybe there would be a multitude of girls to give him a humiliating makeover to blackmail him.

Charlie stepped inside the house and Dave closed the door behind him. He was met with a slight scent of cleanliness as he took in the house interior. He could see just the entrance hall, the sitting room and some of the back kitchen. It was very spacious, well kept, neat and tidy. It almost looked like a house out of a catalogue as it seemed to look pretty much unlived in.

Dave whistled to himself happily as he ran up the stairs. Charlie didn’t know whether he should follow him or not but he wasn’t asked to so he stayed put. The muffled footsteps upstairs told him that Dave was in his rooting about in his room. Within a few minutes he came down the stairs dressed in a tight grey t-shirt and jeans. He walked by Charlie as if he wasn’t there and went to the kitchen.

Suddenly he felt like he was right in the middle of a prison movie scene. He guessed that it was just him and Dave alone in the house as he was not greeted by the expected wave of fellow school students.
He listened to the clink of the keys hitting the table and the buzzing sound coming from the refrigerator followed the sound of a fizzy drink opening.

‘’Do you want a drink Charlie?’’ asked Dave loudly from the kitchen.

Charlie took this as an invitation to come forward. Despite his highly tense situation Dave’s casual nature made him feel at ease yet highly suspicious at the same time. He could feel the pulse in his neck and wrist bulge with anxiety as he walked down the long hallway to the back kitchen.

‘’No thanks,’’ said Charlie before he even entered the room.

The kitchen was wide, open and draughty yet very modern with all the latest technologies and household appliances installed.

Charlie didn’t know what to say as he shared an incredibly awkward silence with Dave.

‘’So?’’ said Charlie nervously. ‘’Where’s your parents?’’

A nerve was hit as Dave looked up at Charlie with a sharp look in his eyes. ‘’My dad works nights. My mom doesn’t live here anymore.’’

Charlie wished he hadn’t asked. The excruciating silence just got even worse as he looked down at his feet, cringing painfully.

‘’So what are we doing in your house?’’ asked Charlie, plucking up all of the courage he could muster. ‘’I mean I don’t even know why I’m here.’’

Dave laughed and looked down at the floor, rubbing the back of his head whilst smiling from ear to ear.

‘’Oh Charlie come on man. You know damn well why you’re here,’’ he chuckled.

‘’Why Dave?’’ said Charlie, breaking Dave’s spirits whilst speaking in a cold emotionless tone. ‘’Why am I here?’’

The laughter and colour immediately drained from Dave’s face as he stared at Charlie stiffly. ‘’Because you’re a sissy,’’ he said in a harsh forward tone.

Charlie winced at the word Dave had just called him. Sissy.

‘’What did you call me?’’ said Charlie in a icy tone. He stared at Dave with a piercing glare that could’ve cracked a pane of glass.

‘’A sissy,’’ said Dave carelessly as he took a swig from his soda can.

‘’No I’m — no — never!’’ said Charlie, feeling outraged by Dave’s narrow-minded judgement of him. ‘’How dare you call me a — a sis - ,’’

‘’ - well that’s what you are, aren’t you? You enjoy wearing girl’s clothes because, well, you’re a pansy or a tranny, transvestite or whatever you lot call yourselves,’’ said Dave as he walked around the kitchen counter with his soda can in hand.

‘’Y-You lot?!’’ repeated Charlie, feeling a sense of disbelief and denial creep up inside him. ‘’I’m not a transvestite!’’ he added, raising his voice a notch higher. He could feel his fists clenching with anger and his knees rattle with a mixture of rage and nervousness.

‘’Well then,’’ grinned Dave as he faced Charlie. ‘’If you’re not a trans-whatever then how do you explain the time you dressed up in your sister’s school uniform and I arrived outside your, looking for Rachel through her bedroom window only to find you jumping up and down on her bed like a fool -,’’ The mention of Rachel’s name made Dave sound even more threatening as a second nerve was hit. ‘’ - or how I seen you at it once again last night in the tennis courts as you ran about with that big stupid grin on your face -,’’ said Dave as he circled around Charlie like a cat prying on its prey, ‘’ - Oh you definitely aren’t a sissy Charlie Smith!’’ he said in an overtly sarcastic tone.

‘’STOP saying that word!’’ Charlie roared, feeling the swell of rage about to burst within him.

‘’What word? Sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy?’’ he said, spitting each word like a sharp dagger into Charlie’s chest. ‘’You think that after the time I arrived at the house that I wouldn’t have my suspicions? You actually thought that you could dress up and never be caught? And then you go outside to do it in the open?! What in the name of god drove you to do that?’’ He continued to move around Charlie, eyeing from head to toe as if he were some degraded piece of dirt. ‘’How many times have you dressed up in your sisters clothes Charlie? Hmm? Once, twice, dozens of times?’’

Charlie could feel his chest beginning to move in and out. For a moment he could have been hyperventilating as his breathing became so heavy. The combination of fear and anger was beginning to become too much for his mind and body to handle as Dave walked around him shooting him with hurtful comments that scared his very being.

‘’You love it sissy boy don’t you? You love it so much that you couldn’t control yourself,’’ said Dave as if he were delving into Charlie’s heart and ripping out his deepest secrets that were only true to himself. But he couldn’t admit it to anybody but himself. ‘’Does she know, your sister? Does she have any idea what you really are?’’

‘’SHUT UP!’’ screamed Charlie. ‘’What do you want from me?! Just tell me! That’s all I want to know!’’

Dave retreated and returned to his ‘normal’ calmer self like a switch flicking off. It was remarkable how quick he could flush out his emotions. Either he had a serious mental problem or he was a brilliant actor. ‘’Nothing much,’’ he said as he walked back to the counter and opened the breadbin. ‘’I just want you to help me with my studies until we finish school next year.’’

Charlie licked his lips and swallowed down hard. The emotional distress was easing back in as he calmed down. ‘’And you won’t tell anyone?’’ he asked breathlessly.

‘’Not unless you break the deal,’’ grinned Dave as he buttered a slice of brown bread. ‘’If you don’t come to my house every Friday night from now on then I’ll be posting those cute little pictures of you in your tennis outfit on Facebook!’’

‘’H-Have you told anyone?’’ asked Charlie sacredly.

It took Dave a few moments to answer before simply saying, ‘’No.’’

Charlie sighed with relief and all panic, fear and anxiety was suddenly drained from his body. Now that he knew what Dave wants and that nobody else knew his secret he could rest easily until this mild form of blackmail was broken. He suddenly felt a great weight being lifted from his shoulders. The deal wasn’t too bad. In fact he felt as if there was no deal at all it was so small. He couldn’t help but give a small smile of happiness. He was safe.

‘’Why don’t you run upstairs to my room and prepare the study area. It’s the last door on the right. I’ll be up in a few minutes,’’ said Dave as he took a bite out of his toast.

Charlie nodded and left the kitchen. As he climbed the stairs he couldn’t help but feel a little bit giddy with relief but then he realised that he hadn’t stopped to think about the possibilities of a catch being buried within Dave’s deal. As he turned down the right hand side of the hall at the top of the stairs he remembered how Rachel used to help Dave study on Friday evenings too when she used to go out with him.

He entered Dave’s room to see that it was large, well kept room with a dark hardwood aesthetic. The floors were made of glossy hardwood with rugs draped over them. The wardrobe and chest of drawers also matched the floorboards. In the far left corner, steps led up into a small study area with a desk and bookshelf. The walls were plastered with posters of cars, football players and crude drawings. There was also a computer desk. The monitor was left on. Over in the far right corner was a door which led to an on-suite bathroom.

Then, to his confusion he saw something he had not expected to see draped across the double king sized bed. A girl’s school uniform like the one Rachel and all the other girls wore at school. He walked over to the bed, turning his head sideways like a transfixed dog trying to decipher something out of place. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him as he saw the pleated skirt neatly arranged on the bed with the rest of the unifo —

The door slammed shut behind him and he could hear the lock clicking. He immediately ran to the door and tried to open it but it wouldn’t budge.

‘’Dave come on, quit messing around!’’ he bellowed through the door.

He knew he was on the other side. He could feel his presence and his low paced breathing. Charlie began to bang on the door, ‘’Come on! This isn’t funny!’’

‘’I’m not going to let you out until you put it on Charlie,’’ said Dave’s muffled voice from the other side of the door.

‘’Put wha -,’’ shot Charlie, stopping midsentence as he turned to look at the uniform on the bed. ‘’Wha — you mean the uniform?!’’

‘’That is correct Charlie you are very quick to catch on!’’ said Dave.

He knew that Dave was wearing a wide, delighted grin on his face and it infuriated him to the very core of his heart. He began to trash the side his shoulder into the door as hard as he could.

‘’Will you stop it you’re going to take the whole god damn door down!’’ shouted Dave.

‘’That’s the idea you bloody psycho!’’ roared Charlie through gritted teeth as he gave the door a forceful push.

‘’Put the uniform on immediately or I’ll send this picture of you to everyone in school, right here, right now on my phone,’’ said Dave.

Charlie immediately stopped and stood still. He could feel his shoulder ache as his face boiled red with anger. The entrapment and sensation of being imprisoned made him feel as if he were suffocating along with feebleness and weakness.

‘’This wasn’t part of the deal!’’ said Charlie breathlessly as he leaned up against the door. ‘’What good will seeing me in girls clothes do? It won’t do anything!’’

It took a few moments for Dave to answer and for a brief moment of light Charlie thought he had driven some sense into him.

‘’For me it will,’’ said Dave lowly. ‘’Put on the school uniform. Right now. Or else everybody finds out.’’

‘’What?! That you’re a sick weirdo who enjoys blackmailing people!’’ bellowed Charlie.

Dave started giggling, then chuckling followed by hysterical laughter. ‘’It’s not me who’s the weirdo here Charlie my friend. You’re the one who’s the bitch here, not me! In time you’ll learn that so put on that pretty little outfit unless you prefer to have your dignity destroyed forever.’’

His words were callous, cruel and downright hurtful. But he was right. He had absolute power of Charlie and there was nothing he could do about it. As he turned to look at the uniform he felt highly claustrophobic under Dave’s tight grip. The feeling of being beneath somebody’s thumb so suddenly, feeling the impossibility of a way out and the fear of the things he would have to do to retain his identity and dignity for that time. He had to do whatever Dave pleased.

‘’Don’t upload the picture,’’ said Charlie, feeling sombre and defeated. ‘’I’ll put the bloody thing on.’’

‘’Good,’’ said Dave. ‘’It’s much easier this way isn’t it?’’

Charlie replied with an angry grunt as he turned towards the uniform. He looked down, feeling fearful rather than the usual excitement he felt before cross dressing. He had never done it in front of somebody before and he had never intended to up until that very moment when he had no idea what would happen once he was dressed up.

‘’Don’t be long now,’’ said Dave followed by the muffled sound of footsteps descending down the stairs.

His hands shook fearfully as he stripped down naked. The slight chill in the air made him shiver or so he thought anyway. The shopping bag that Dave brought in from his car was nested on the bed beside the school uniform. This was obviously for Charlie otherwise why would Dave leave it there?

He looked inside the bag and pulled out a pair of panties. They were white with a light pink lace trimmings around the edges with a decorative pink nylon bow on the front. They looked rather small for his size too. For the first time ever Charlie felt repulsed by them and had absolutely no desire to put them on. But he had to. He was under Dave’s control now.

As he looked at the feminine underwear he felt something tick inside him. A lump crawled up his throat and the inexplicable power of tears forced their way out of his eyelids. He clenched the underwear tightly in his fist and sat down on his hunkers letting out gasping sobs of panic and fear. He sat there on the hard wooden floor as he bled the salt of his heart. He couldn’t explain where the overpowering emotions came from as the streams of tears poured from his eyes where his clenched fists pressed, blocking all of the light. He sees the darkness that he knows will soon swallow him and he fears it.

He felt like a right fool sitting there naked, clenching a pair of panties whilst crying his eyes out. Maybe Dave is right, maybe I am a sissy. He thought. It took him a few moments to get himself together on his feet but not enough time was on his side. His sniffled frequently as he pulled the soft underwear up his legs. They felt as they looked, very, very tight and skin hugging.

His heart pounded against his chest wearily as he picked up the transparent black pair of tights. He stepped into them and pulled them up his shins, over his knees and around his waist. Usually he would enjoy the smooth texture of the fabric as it stroked his legs, encasing them in softness while he would wiggle his toes playfully. But not this time. The tights were high waisted, figure hugging and very, very smooth.

He couldn’t believe how he was in this situation. The thought had never occurred to him that it was possible for somebody to do this do him, to blackmail him. He never thought that he would encounter such people especially one he had known for some time. Those types of things always happened to other people and not him. It was so surreal yet nightmarish and realistic at the same time.

He picked up the large shopping bag and emptied it out onto the bed, holding his breath in anticipation for what else he might find. He yelped like a dog and jumped backwards as a female manikin head fell onto the bed. Charlie clenched his chest as he breathed in and out, calming himself. On the feminine plastic head was a very long chocolate brown coloured wig. A real one made of real hair. The other things that fell out of the bag were smaller bag made of leather and a pair of stylish reading glasses. He picked up the manikin head and stared into its lifeless eyes plastic eyes. It unnerved him to the core as it slightly resembled his sister. In his left hand he held the pair of white thick rimmed glasses with a pink streak along the side.

Charlie’s mouth slowly fell open as he ran his shaking fingers through the wig, feeling the slight sense of disturbance creep up on him. He wasn’t scared about wearing it in front of Dave rather he was more shocked at how much the wig resembled his sisters soft brunette hair. It was exactly the same. It was very long, soft, smooth, shiny and wavy on the bottom. As were the glasses, a perfect match for the one’s Rachel used whilst studying. He quickly reached for the small leather bag and unzipped it to see a wide array of makeup products which included pink lip gloss and jet black mascara.

He heart began pounding a mile a minute as he dropped the bag as if somebody had stunned him. His breathing became more panicked as he looked down at the school uniform, then down at his tight covered legs. He immediately began looking around himself as if he had just awoken in a deep inescapable pit of horror. He suddenly realised what Dave was blackmailing him to do.

Dave was attempting to turn Charlie into a copy of Rachel, his ex-girlfriend whom he had an unhealthy obsession for then and now.

Charlie quickly turned his head to the door as he could hear the thump of Dave’s muffled footsteps ascending the staircase. He then turned his head to the window, his heart and mind racing frantically, urging the rest of his body to make a run for it before he was in serious danger. As before, he had to remind himself that he could not go anywhere. Dave had the pictures of him in the tennis uniform held ransom so he literally could not do a single thing but obey his orders.

‘’Are you ready yet?’’ called Dave irritably from the other side of the door.

‘’J-Just a couple of minutes!’’ stuttered Charlie, feeling the shivering wave of defeat and hopelessness.

‘’You’re not a real bloody girl! How long does it take for you to get dressed?’’ joked Dave with a tone of annoyance.

‘’I said a couple of minutes!’’ barked Charlie.

He turned to the bed once again and picked up the matching bra which Dave purchased. He ripped off the tag and wondered what he could use as breast forms. He searched inside the bag to see if there was anything but there wasn’t. He sighed and opened one of Dave’s drawers and took out some socks, stuffed the bra and hooked it onto his chest with almost no difficulty. He adjusted them properly as he tightened the buckled straps on his back. The sudden feeling of a slight weight on his chest did not give him the usual goosebumps he once desired so much.

He picked up the light blue blouse which also had a tag on it. Everything appeared to be brand new and he couldn’t help but wonder how much money Dave was spending as school uniforms were usually quite expensive. It was most definitely a costly blackmailing on Dave’s behalf but Charlie didn’t really care.

He put his arms into the blouse and buttoned it up to the top. Like before the sleeves hugged his arms tightly and the bodice clasped tightly to his makeshift breasts. The collar was rounded and rather large compared to Rachel’s giving it a more feminine touch. He then picked up the skirt which was rather short, high waisted, dark grey with pleats around the hemline with a zipper on the back. He stepped into the skirt and pulled it up, the polyester fabric gently stroking against his shins as he pulled it over his knees. The skirt slithered against his tights as he pulled it up over his thighs and adjusted it around his waist. He then tucked the blouse in, carefully and neatly followed by zipping it up at the back, tightening the band around his waist. The sound of the zipper didn’t give him the chills as before.

He then picked up the dark navy tie, pulled the tag off and tied it around the blouse collar neatly and primly. He then pulled the thin blue cotton v-necked sweater over his head and adjusted to match the tidiness of the rest of the outfit.

Suddenly his eye was caught by something he didn’t notice. A brand new pair of dark navy Dubarry school shoes. He picked them up and checked the size to see that they matched his male size. How did Dave know that? He wondered how he managed to get the right size but then he remembered how his feet were at least only a size or two bigger than Rachel’s. He stepped into them and tightened the laces tidily. They were rather comfortable and the slight heel at the back gave him an extra edge, making him feel rather girlish despite his dreadful situation.

‘’Come on man!’’ bellowed Dave. ‘’This is taking way to long!’’

Charlie closed his eyes angrily and shouted, ‘’Patience!’’ through gritted teeth. He didn’t say anything back but he could hear his foot tapping against the floor. Charlie didn’t know why he was being so precise and careful when dressing because he didn’t exactly want to please Dave entirely. He guessed he was just stalling for time before the humiliating reveal in front of Dave.

He walked around the bed to the full length mirror, carrying the makeup bag and wig in hand. As soon as he saw his reflection he actually felt a little disgusted with himself. Everything below the neck said teenage female but his head said otherwise. As he stared into his face he couldn’t help but ask himself, ‘’what have you gotten yourself into Charlie?’’. He began to regret dressing up in his sister’s uniform all those months ago for it was the spark of his terrible curse. That was what he began to consider his desires, a curse, and a dark passenger that drove him into chaos every time it was unleashed. He felt like throttling his past self for being such an idiot.

He didn’t want to keep Dave waiting out of fear so he began to work on his makeup. He did it all remarkably quick as he applied the foundation to his face and neck, followed by pink blusher, mascara, eyeliner and baby pink lip-gloss, Rachel’s favourite. He used the netting to squash down his messy hair flat and he placed the shoulder length brunette wig on top of head. He fixed it and adjusted it properly and stood back.

Oh. My. God.

He couldn’t help but gasp. His hand was raised to his mouth. He looked just like a carbon copy of his twin sister. It was astonishing what a little bit of makeup could do. The long, smooth brunette hair hung over his shoulder and over his perky bosom. The gloss made his lips seem plumper, full, and the eyeliner made his eyes look wide and large combined with the feminine essence of lashes. His eyes however were hazel and not blue like Rachel’s. The only distinguishes would be his straight waist and small hips but other than that he was passable as a Rachel twin, so to speak.

It was almost too much to handle as he spun around, turning his back from the full length mirror. He was definitely sure that his skin was flaring red beneath the makeup. The sheer shock of how much he resembled her in the female gender actually frightened him. He couldn’t bare look at himself because he felt he was invading Rachel’s identity more so than just dressing in her clothes.

He felt wrong for what he was doing. But he had no choice.

Suddenly, Dave couldn’t take it any longer and burst into the room. ‘’Look you are using up way too much time and all you’re -,’’ He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell upon Charlie.

Charlie, feeling mixed emotions of the situation was startled and downright frightened. He didn’t know what was to come next. What was the next catch in Dave’s plan? As Dave looked at Charlie, dressed primly and neatly in his business-like yet pretty school uniform, looking utterly like his sister his face turned to stone. Yet his eyes spoke more than his face as they bulged up tearfully.

‘’R-Rachel?’’ he said shakily.

‘’N-no?’’ said Charlie shyly.

Dave turned his back on Charlie and closed his eyes tight. He was biting his lip as tears of happiness squeezed out from between his eyelids. He sniffed back his emotions and muttered quietly to himself, ‘’My god you look so much — I cannot believe — beautiful girl — incredible — you’ve come back to me,’’ was all that Charlie caught whilst sacredly listening to Dave’s low ramblings. Charlie knew he was crying too but he didn’t know why. Dave’s unpredictable behaviour was beginning to disturb and scare Charlie more so than earlier as he watched his back with terror.

He felt incredibly silly standing there in a girl’s uniform whilst watching Dave, the apparent man’s man splutter tears into his clenched fists. Charlie’s breathing was shaky and off pace as he moved around the bed, feeling the alien sensation of walking in tights and a skirt. He didn’t know whether to comfort Dave or not but then again why should he? His unprecedented emotions did nothing but confuse and make Charlie feel more like a tool so he waited.

Dave spun around with a crazed smile on his face. But that was not what distracted Charlie as his eyes were caught by the bulging erection poking out through Dave’s tight jeans. The sight made Charlie stumble backwards over a pile of books as Dave walked towards him.

‘’Woah watch yourself there,’’ said Dave, smiling widely whilst grabbing Charlie’s arms.

‘’DON’T touch me!’’ snapped Charlie, defensively pushing Dave’s hands away.

‘’What’s wrong babe?’’ asked Dave.

Charlie moved around the bed, grabbing a hockey stick nearby for protection. ‘’I swear to god if you come near me with that thing I’ll knock your fucking teeth out!’’ threatened Charlie, holding the hockey stick like a sword.

‘’All I want to do is study like we used to. How could I ever harm you?’’ said Dave nicely. He pulled out his phone which contained the ransomed pictures of Charlie. ‘’Unless you give me a good reason to do so,’’ he added darkly as he lifted up the phone and took a picture of Charlie right there.

‘’H-Hey what the -,’’ stuttered Charlie. ‘’Why the hell did you do that?’’

Dave was tapping on his phone with a small grin on his face. Charlie’s heart was in his throat as he watched Dave tap consistently.

‘’Stop,’’ said Charlie worriedly. ‘’S-Stop what you’re doing there!’’

Dave showed the screen which displayed the picture of Charlie beside the ‘’upload to Facebook’’ key. ‘’If I click on upload everybody sees what you are within a matter of seconds -,’’

‘’Dave — please you don’t have to threaten -,’’

‘’ — UNLESS you comply with what I tell you to do!’’

‘’Dave I was going to do what you said,’’ said Charlie truthfully. ‘’I just got freaked out by — by t-that,’’ he said pointing at the erection.

Dave looked down at his pants and immediately turned scarlet red, ‘’Oh Jesus — I uh — sorry I didn’t know what came -,’’

‘’Whatever man can we just get this over and done with?’’ said Charlie, dropping the hockey stick on the floor.

‘’Yeah, sure,’’ said Dave, rubbing the back of his head.

A few minutes later Charlie was sitting down on a wooden stool beside Dave at his study desk in the corner of the bedroom. A headlamp hung over them like a hot sun belting warmth on their necks. Charlie felt utterly ridiculous in his attire as he watched Dave take out his Geography book, a subject which Charlie happened to be really good at.

‘’I’ve been totally lost in this subject over the past year and my dad said he’ll send me to summer school unless I don’t get at least a C2 in the summer tests,’’ said Dave as he opened the book.

‘’Right — err — well why don’t we start by -,’’

‘’ — woah, woah woah! What are you doing? Why are you speaking like that?’’

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, confused.

‘’That voice! Don’t do it! Speak like you look,’’ said Dave, the crazed look in his eyes aflame.

Charlie opened his mouth to say something but he didn’t quite know what. He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat, feeling the approaching humiliation creep up on him as he attempted to sound like a girl. He had never tried it before as he always dressed alone.

‘’I — uh -,’’ stammered Charlie. He cleared his throat again. ‘’Why don’t we start by drawing up a plan for the next three weeks?’’ he said in a high pitched tone.

He cringed painfully as Dave smiled, nodded and grabbed a pen and paper. Charlie felt stupid as the embarrassing and humiliating situation made him wish that he was never born. He watched Dave write out a timetable with his ruler, feeling his legs cross themselves by instinct. He straightened out his skirt and sat upright in a ladylike posture. He also fixed the glasses on his face. The lens’ were just plain glass and didn’t actually work.

He sat with Dave for the next few hours instructing and teaching him to the best of his ability and in turn he actually learned a few things himself. He got used to retaining his cringe worthy impression of his sister but every so often he would slowly slip back into his own voice before Dave scowled him for it. For the entirety that he sat there at the desk his heart throbbed viciously and his armpits moistened with nerves and anxiety.

The room felt extremely hot and the tight uniform made him feel stuffy and confined so he loosened the tie. Dave made him tie his hair up in a ponytail ‘’the way Rachel used to’’. It made everything easier as the hair kept blocking his view and getting in the way when he wrote. His hand often shook nervously as he obeyed everything Dave told him but over time he relaxed a bit more.

The tense nature of helping his blackmailer study whilst pretending to his sister made Charlie feel overwhelmed with apprehension. Small facets of pleasure in the uniform began to resurface the more he eased into his role as Rachel. He knew that this showed just how powerful his desires were; to creep up in a situation of great uneasiness and fear was impalpable.

The clock ticked by eight o’clock and passed into nine and then into ten. Dave was beginning to become irritable and frustrated as he failed to understand the subject he was attempting to study. He slammed his fists angrily on the desk and gave a great big sigh of defeat.

‘’I can’t do it — I — I it’s just too hard!’’ he said.

Charlie watched him with a look of great concern on his face. He didn’t know what to do. He looked at the clock to see that it was almost half ten. He expected that Dave should have let him go over an hour ago but he was still there. He knew his mother would be angry with him when he got home.

‘’Maybe we should just call it a night Dave?’’ said Charlie softly.

He turned his head to Charlie and exhaled deeply through his nose. ‘’Maybe you’re right Rachel,’’ he said. Charlie winced as he addressed him as his sister for the first time that night but that didn’t scare him half as much as what Dave said next. ‘’Give me a kiss babe,’’ he said tiredly.

He felt as if ice-cold water was poured over his head. He no longer felt hot and stuffy as he froze like an icy statue. ‘’I — w-why?’’

‘’Because I need one,’’ he said in a low deep voice.

Charlie didn’t know what to do. This guy was completely insane! He could feel his pulse racing and his mind shattering. His conscience seemed to leave him alone to make the decision himself and his joints seemed to be so frozen stiff that he couldn’t move. So he gave an excuse in the most convincing girliest Rachel voice he could, ‘’Dave, you promised me that we’d only be studying tonight remember?’’ he smiled sweetly. ‘’I’m really tired and I should be getting home. My mom and my brother will be worried.’’

Dave’s face seemed to be fixed in the same sultry expression but it quickly vanished, ‘’Yep, maybe you’re right!’’. He then stood up and patted Charlie on the shoulder. ‘’We’ll do this again next week as always okay?’’. He then left the room and Charlie took that as his cue to take off the uniform and go home.

As soon as the door shut he let out a deep gasp for breath as if he was just pulled out from beneath a watery abyss. His eyes welled up with stingy moisture as he buried his face in his hands with great relief. He breathed into his palms heavily, thankful that he managed to get out of kissing another boy. The mere thought made his bones shudder.

As he undressed he thought about Dave’s mentality. He now knew for sure that there was something seriously wrong with his mind if he truly believed that Charlie was actually Rachel. But did he really believe or was he just trying to convince himself that he was because of his freakish obsession with Rachel? He couldn’t comprehend it. He wasn’t a doctor or a psychiatrist so he didn’t know. But one thing he did know was that he could be potentially dangerous if he didn’t do what he was told. Charlie was now not only fearful of Dave releasing the pictures to the entire school but for his own safety and well being too.

He walked down the stairs after twenty minutes of removing every trace of makeup from his face. He found Dave sitting in the kitchen dripping out of a cup and playing with his laptop. He looked normal, like the way Charlie thought he knew him once.

‘’Can I go now please?’’ asked Charlie.

It took Dave a few minutes to answer before saying, ‘’yeah sure,’’ without even looking at Charlie. ‘’Be back here again next week man or you know what will happen!’’

Charlie just flashed him a dirty look when he wasn’t looking before turning for the hallway to leave.

‘’Oh and Charlie,’’ called Dave. ‘’Make sure you have my money next week too.’’

Money?

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, confused by the sudden burden of debt. ‘’What money?’’

‘’The money for all the stuff I bought you. The uniform, the shoes, the makeup, glasses and the wig which was very expensive I might add.’’

‘’What?!’’ shouted Charlie, outraged and appalled by the unfairness of Dave’s motives. ‘’Why should I pay you? I didn’t ask you to buy those things!’’

‘’Yeah well you didn’t ask to get caught crossdressing either did you?’’ remarked Dave snidely. ‘’There is no way I’m wasting my money on your strange little fetishes. Pay me back next week and everything will be fine and dandy!’’

Charlie suddenly felt the urge to beat the living crap out of Dave’s smug face but he repressed his anger by gritting his teeth and biting his lower lip.

‘’How the hell am I supposed to pay you before then huh?! I don’t even have a job!’’ stated Charlie.

‘’Okay, okay, okay,’’ said Dave, getting up and walking towards Charlie. ‘’Maybe I’m being a little too unfair. Here’s what we’ll do. You find some work and make some cash to suffice for all that stuff I bought today and pay me back as soon as you are able.’’

Charlie loathed everything about this guy. His hate for him was so strong as it swelled up inside him he thought he was going to black out.

‘’How much do I owe you?’’ muttered Charlie, not looking into his eyes.

‘’Couple of hundred, like I said, the wig was very pricy to get a real looking one.’’

The sum of money almost made Charlie fall over. ‘’How in the name of god am I supposed to find that kind of money in a short space of time?!’’

‘’I’m giving you all the time you need Charlie,’’ he said, slapping him on the side of the arm before turning back to the table. ‘’And don’t worry my friend because we’ll be buying you plenty of more goodies for you to wear from now on!’’

SUMMARY: Charlie’s life has become miserable. Nothing is going his way and he is trapped in a place where he cannot possibly escape. On top of his conflicting issues he is beginning to suffer from terrible nightmares along with family revelations he never thought to be true.

His eyes opened quickly. The first thing that came into view was his bedroom door. His heart slowed down as he exhaled into his pillow. It was just a dream. He thought. Well of course it was! His eye’s swirled about in their sockets like a startled animals as he rolled over onto his back and licked the inside of his mouth.

That usual morning taste was in his mouth and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on his toothbrush. He looked at the clock to see that it was 11:47.a.m. He surely had slept in but then again he wasn’t surprised as he didn’t get a wink the night before. Then it came back to him. His ears felt as if they were filling up with steaming hot blood and his joints froze like ice as the previous day’s events came flooding back to him.

The voice of Dave echoed at the back of his mind. Does she know, your sister? Does she have any idea what you really are? How many times have you dressed up in your sisters clothes Charlie? Hmm? Once, twice, dozens of times?

He closed his eyes again and clenched his fists and toes. The previous day felt like an odd nightmare that had escaped from his mind and become some twisted form of reality. He could feel his skin beginning to boil all over, steaming up the inside of his bed as if it were a pressure cooker ready to explode. He had no desire to do anything but curl up into a ball and stay in bed all day.

‘’Give me a kiss babe.’’
‘’I — w-why?’’
‘’Because I need one.’’

‘’Did that actually happen?’’ Charlie whispered to himself.

He began to wonder if he had imagined the entire day before because the events somehow felt disconnected from his consciousness, mind and soul. It felt like the thorn in his life so far, the one horrible day that might not have even occurred. The behaviour of Dave seemed to overtly irrational and insane that it made Charlie question if it was all an act, if it even happen of course.

He slid out of the bed. His hot feet touched the ground like magma against water. He could feel the now all-too-familiar itch on the inside of his thigh. He winced as he scratched at it gently, feeling cold shivers of ease running down his spine. The room was dark, stuffy and seemed smaller and more claustrophobic that ever.

He walked to the curtains and let the light pour in. The feeling of the boiling rays of sunshine against his sweaty, sticky face made him feel even filthier. He really needed to shower. So he did. As he stripped down in the shower, urinated and scrubbed his teeth vigorously he began to scratch the itch on his inner-thigh once again. He looked down to see that the skin where he had been scratching was beginning to redden and become coarse, deformed and a little scabbed.

‘’What — the -,’’

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, ‘’Charlie are you in there?’’ called Rachel.

‘’Y-Yeah I just need to wash first. I’ll be down in a few minutes!’’

‘’Yeah well hurry up!’’ said Rachel.

He sighed and threw his towel on the floor in annoyance.

‘’I won’t be long!’’ he shouted.

He hopped in the shower and let the warm water take him down a stream of escapism and tranquillity. Now, more than ever he enjoyed the taste and feeling of warm water trickle down his face as it washed away his bleak feelings of depression. He looked down at his feet as the water swirled down the drain along with the previous day.

When he was done, he dried, dressed and went back into his bedroom without eating breakfast. He had absolutely no desire to eat despite the fact he knew he was hungry. He sat on the side of his bed, grateful for once that he was dressed in boys clothing because after the incident at Dave’s house he felt that he could never possibly dress up again.

The fear of blackmail that Dave had driven into him made him feel weak and hopeless. It was the worst form of human nature as it is literally inescapable. To take ones secret and hold it ransom to the world was just sick and cruel. Charlie never dreamt of meeting such a person, especially one he had known for years. It made him feel physically sick. He had a million questions he wanted to ask Dave but he couldn’t out of fear.

What were you doing in the tennis courts anyway?
How many pictures did you take?
Have you really not told anybody else?
Why are you asking me to dress like Rachel?
Why are you such a mental case?

The thought of his smirking face made Charlie fume with rage. He stamped his right foot on the wooden floorboards at he sat on the side of the bed. His fists were clenched tightly to the side of his head as saliva spewed from his reddening face. He had never loathed someone so much to the point where it made him emotionally raged and frustrated.

Just the way he was blackmailing him, the way he was going to be forcing Charlie to buy clothes with money he didn’t even have and the way he was being so careless, so cruel, so . . . evil. The massive thoughts made Charlie feel over encumbered with misery and anger to the point where he wanted to put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger. Despite his dark thoughts he didn’t have the courage to go forth. He wasn’t there yet, it was too early.

He could hear the toilet flushing, the bathroom door opening and Rachel running down the stairs. ‘’Oh if you only knew sister,’’ he mumbled as he let his body fall back onto the bed. He looked up at the ceiling as he listened to his heart beat. It suddenly seemed so beautiful to him, so comforting as though everything were okay.

Vrrrrr

He drew his phone from his pocket to see that he had several text messages from Julie with over a dozen missed calls. ‘’Oh. God. No.’’ His body iced over and his eyes began to sting painfully. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to meet her last night at the café to talk. His hand shook violently as the urge to throw his phone at the wall once again swelled up inside him. He opened the texts.

Hey where are you? I’m here at the café! :)
Where are you now?
Please hurry up! I don’t have long! Tb
Fine then. Asshole.

Straight away he clicked on her name and the phone began to ring as he brought it up to his right ear. ‘’Come on, come on Julie pick up!’’ He waited for a few moments but there was no answer. It just went straight to voicemail so he redialled and continued to wait for an answer. But Julie was refusing to pick up. But then again Charlie couldn’t blame her? He stood her up on his only chance to sort out their differences.

He felt the strong urge to punch a wall. He began pacing the room ranting and raving like a lunatic about to stab the nearest person. He felt frustrated at the world, he felt angry at himself but most of all he was terribly angry at Dave. If it wasn’t for him he wouldn’t have forgotten his time to spend with people he actually cared about.

He rang her again but it just went straight to voicemail, ‘’Hi this is Julie. Obviously I’m not picking up here so — um — yeah leave your message after the beep!’’.

*BEEP*

Charlie hesitated and didn’t say anything for a few moments as words were caught in his throat. Sweat began to trickle down his forehead as the room steamed up like a sauna. ‘’J-Julie I am so, so sorry for not showing up last night. Something big came up and well — I’m not going to lie but I seriously forgot about meeting up with you. I — uh — ‘’ He stopped for a moment, hesitating on what to say next. Something inside him told him that he should tell her the truth but the greater side told him otherwise. ‘’Julie I know you probably hate me right now but if you c-can give me this one chance to tell you how I feel then — then I’ll be extremely grateful. Bye.’’

*BEEP*

He sighed with relief, feeling his armpits sweat and his feet boil in his socks. He left the room, feeling his head pound with excessive worries and fears. How could he have been so stupid not to remember to meet with Julie? As he walked down to the kitchen he realised that his mother had already left for work hours ago. It was just him and Rachel for the entire day.

He didn’t eat breakfast. He just grabbed a drink and went outside into the back garden. The sun literally pelted down on top of him. His socked feet touched the concrete path like meat against a BBQ. It was surprisingly hot out. The sky was clear blue, not a cloud to be seen.

He sat down on the deck chair, closed his eyes and let his head fall back. All he could hear was the gentle sigh of the wind rush through the trees, the birds chirping and running of water from the neighbour’s water fountain. It was truly a moment of pure tranquillity.

Thoughts of Julie and Dave ran through his brain like panicked insects not knowing which way to go. He felt that his troubles were stacking up so much that he didn’t know what to be thinking about anymore. A vivid image of Julie sitting in the café with a look of disappointment and hurt on her face cropped up in his mind. The thought made him cringe.

But then he thought, why should he feel bad? From what he could decipher did she feel much when she had her tongue lunged down some stranger’s throat whilst Charlie watched by the bar. The long lost memory made hit a nerve within him and his guilt was quickly replaced with anger. After what she did, after she seductively led him to heartbreak he felt that she deserved whatever came at her. Then something clicked in his mind, ‘’What is happening to me?’’ he muttered to himself. ‘’I don’t usually think like this!’’. His conscience seemed to be divided. One half wanted to forgive and go after Julie whilst the other wanted her to suffer.

Charlie didn’t know what was happening to him. He never thought so cruelly about another person before. He couldn’t help but wonder why he was starting to feel dark emotions of bitterness and betrayal well up inside him. Suddenly he realised the source of his conflicting thoughts.

Dave. Blackmail. Fear.

The idea of his sick plans for him sent cold shivers down his spine. The mere thought of this ‘’studying’’ becoming a weekly event made him feel queasy because he feared for his protection and safety. He needed to find a way out of it. There had to be a way. There just had to be. How was he going to disappear every single Friday night from now on without anybody getting suspicious? How was he going to afford all of these clothes Dave was going to force him to purchase? And most of all how was he going to get out of it?

He opened his eyes again and he was almost blinded. Everything was out of focus and way too bright due to the heavy sunlight pelting down on his little back garden. He looked around, feeling his pulse beat in the side of his neck as if he had just run a marathon. He buried his face in his hands muttering, ‘’there has to be a way!’’ over and over again like a mental patient.

It was then that he noticed Rachel sitting on the deck chair next to him. ‘’Christ Rachel!’’ he yelled. ‘’What the hell are you doing there?!’’

‘’Calm down Charlie! You don’t own the garden to yourself!’’ she shot back.

‘’You just frightened the god damn life out of me!’’ he replied.

‘’Oh well sorry if I walked in on your little rant,’’ teased Rachel.

Charlie gave a deep weary sigh and fell back in the chair. He felt that he was constantly on high alert for someone else to catch him in privacy.

‘’What’s up brother?’’ asked Rachel softly as she sipped her glass of water.

‘’Nothing,’’ said Charlie moodily.

‘’Well there must be something? Why else would I find you rambling nonsense to yourself like a lunatic in the garden?’’

‘’There is some — no — I’m fine,’’ lied Charlie. ‘’Just a little stressed.’’

‘’About?’’ asked Rachel as she dipped her hand further into the truth.

‘’Everything,’’ muttered Charlie. ‘’Everything right now is just screwed up.’’

‘’Julie?’’. Charlie turned his head to his sister who had a genuine look of concern on her face. She really wanted to know what was wrong because she wanted to help him, just like Charlie had when she had trouble with Dave. ‘’Charlie, its okay,’’ said Rachel, placing her hand on the deck chair arm. ‘’You can tell me.’’

He so desperately wanted to tell her everything, ‘’Rachel I’m a secret cross dresser who is being blackmailed by your ex-boyfriend to look and act like you for his own pleasure.’’ But it was all so ludicrously unbelievable and bizarre that he couldn’t bring himself to risk destroying his dignity and shame for the price of emotional and pain relief. He knew he had to stay strong despite the fact he knew that he was fooling himself in the long run.

‘’It’s Julie,’’ he said, telling only half of the truth, yet releasing half of the pain.

‘’Oh god, what did the bitch do to you this time?’’ Rachel cut across.

‘’No!’’ snapped Charlie. ‘’It’s me this time! I’m the one in the wrong!’’

‘’What happened?’’

‘’She -,’’ Charlie stopped midsentence, unsure of what he was about to say, ‘’ — she wanted to fix things between us but I - I threw it in her face by completely ignoring her.’’

‘’Is that it?’’ asked Rachel, believing there was much more for Charlie to tell.

Charlie didn’t respond as he felt his sister couldn’t possibly understand how he was feeling at that moment. He tried to let the subject go as he slumped down in the chair. ‘’I just wish things wouldn’t be so complicated,’’ said Charlie, words escaping from his mind against his will.

‘’Well, maybe things don’t have to be so complicated,’’ said Rachel softly. ‘’Maybe what you should do is try harder. Don’t give in.’

‘’But don’t you get it?’’ said Charlie, straightening up again. ‘’She won’t talk to me. She’s not answering her phone.’’

‘’Well if Julie thinks like all girls do, then, she’ll come around eventually,’’ said Rachel, ‘’even it takes forever. You’ll see.’’

Charlie gave a thin smile and let his head fall back staring up at the light blue sky. Neither he nor Rachel said anything for a few minutes as they both basked in the wondrous weather of the day.

‘’Mom was also wondering where you were last night,’’ said Rachel, striking up yet another conversation.

Charlie immediately opened his eyes, ‘’what do you mean by wondering? I was at Sean’s, I told her!’’

‘’Yeah but you were home extremely late,’’ Rachel added formally.

‘’It was a Friday night,’’ sighed Charlie, returning to his previous slumped posture. ‘’We went into town. No big deal.’’

***

She stands straight and upright with her shoulders back and her hands loose at her sides. Her long chocolate brunette hair waves over her shoulders and on her bosom. Her makeup is flawless, pretty and reeks of prim elegance and beauty. Her thick lashes and pink glossed pouty lips would make one feel weak at the knees and dazed in the head. Her v-necked sweater is a vibrant blue as it hugs her features snugly yet tightly. Beneath her sweater, a white blouse is buttoned up to the very top with a blue and navy striped tie fixed neatly around the stiff collar. Her legs are smothered in a pair of soft white tights from the tip of her toes the upper part of her waist where a short blue and navy plaid skirt is clipped snugly around her hips. Her feet are attired with a pair of feminine blue heels and her finger nails are shiny, sharp and painted pink to match her lip gloss.

Yes, this she was in fact a he. It is Charlie, looking more like his twin sister than ever as he stares into her full length mirror, dressed entirely in her school uniform. He bit his lips and curled his toe slightly, enjoying the gentle softness of the tights in between his toes. He felt embarrassed yet oddly pleased as he straightened out his skirt, not taking his eye off his flawless lashes.

He decided that that would be enough cross-dressing for now as he knew Rachel would be home soon. He walked out of her room and onto the corridor, performing his feminine walk of perfecting as he swayed his hips with his bust pushed out. His heels clicking against the wooden floor and then the tiles of the bathroom made him feel oh so girly. He shut the door and went to the mirror to remove his makeup and false nails.

He took one last look at his girly reflection before looking down at his hands. He filled up a glass with nail polish remover. He then placed his right hand in the glass and waited for a few minutes. As he let his fingers soak he couldn’t help but admire his skirt, the tights and heels. When he took out his fingers he noticed something rather odd. The pink nail polish was gone but the false nails still remained bonded to his. He felt a little annoyed as he placed his fingers back in the glass, this time waiting for over ten minutes. He paced up and down the bathroom, sitting down on the side of the bath every few moments as he waited impatiently.

He took his fingers out again but the nails wouldn’t budge. He began to panic as anxiety got the better of him. Rachel would be home very soon and if he didn’t hurry she’d catch him. He dashed for the sink and began to remove the makeup as if it were poison on his face. He scrubbed hard, using as many lotions and removers as possible. When he looked up in the mirror the makeup was still as flawless and perfect as before.

‘’What the hell -,’’ he gasped.

He suddenly heard the front door shut and footsteps walking around downstairs. ‘’Charlie I’m home!’’ called Rachel.

Oh no!

He looked down at his hand and immediately began pulling the false nail on his forefinger. He winced in pain as he pulled the sharp nail backwards with all his strength. It cracked, sending a forceful sting up his finger and right up his arm. He grunted in pain, shredding the curled skin, curling like a carrot off a peeler. It felt as if he was dragging a razor up his finger as he ripped up the nail along with the skin, ‘’Arrrrgh!’’ he shrieked.

‘’Charlie!’’ yelled Rachel. ‘’Are you okay? Where are you?’’

He immediately put his finger in his mouth and sucked up the blood. The excruciating stinging sensation vanished as he pulled his finger out to see that his finger was exactly the same as it was before, long nailed, sharp, and shiny and coated in pink nail polish.

He backed away from the mirror in disbelief. He began to undress but the clothes wouldn’t budge. It was as if it had become part of him, another layer of skin, unable to be removed. He pulled at his false breasts made of water bags in a bra but he was shocked to find that pulling them hurt. He pulled at them again but groaned in agony. His breathing became rapid and fast as he loosened the tie and looked down to see that he had two fleshy mounds, breasts, stuck to his chest.

‘’Hey are you in there?’’ asked Rachel, sounding a little different.

Charlie felt everything between his legs suck into his body, leaving nothing but emptiness. He thrashed about the bathroom in horror, knocking everything off the counter. He pulled at his hair but that only hurt too. He then felt his thighs snap as he collapsed against the bath, hanging off of the side as if it were the edge of a cliff, gasping for air as his stomach thinned.

‘’Open the door!’’ bellowed Rachel, knocking repeatedly.

Charlie stumbled to his feet, the heels not helping his horribly painful metamorphosis. The door swung open and he gasped to see himself at the other end, his male self, Charlie staring at him with a look of confusion and anger on his face. ‘’Rachel what are you doing on the ground?’’ he asked worriedly.

‘’W-W-What - ,’’ stammered Charlie, his voice cracking to sound like Rachel’s.

The next minute Charlie was walking through Dave’s house, as Rachel, dressed in full school uniform. He walked into his room to find him standing there dressed in his school uniform. Charlie walked straight up to him and grabbed his neck, wanting to strangle him with all his might. He clenched his fingers against Dave’s broad neck, pressing his sharp nails into his skin, forming beads of blood to trickle down, ‘’Arrcch! Rachel what are you -,’’ gagged Dave.

He then grabbed Charlie’s right breast, sending pulses of waves throughout his female formed body. Dave moved in and began to knaw at his swan-like neck, lustfully slipping his hands into his skirt as his mouth moved up to Charlie’s. He lunged his tongue in and started to feel his area simultaneously.

Then there was a huge explosion and Charlie’s mind was sent into pure ecstasy. He felt like he was flying over a sea of blood as his mind crumbled into pain and fear. He witnessed his father slap his mother across the face as he watched fearfully from the kitchen with his sister. The loud fearsome roars of his father’s voice and the sharp piercing wails of his mother stabbed his little heart painfully.

He looked into a mirror to see his own reflection which seemed to have a life of its own. ‘’Look at me,’’ said his reflection coldly. ‘’Look at me!!’’. Charlie did the opposite, refusing to speak to his own self in the mirror. The urge was too strong as his eyes turned towards the mirror to see himself dressed up as a girl, ‘’You are not me!’’ he cried.

The mirror shattered into a million pieces and he was immediately brought back to Dave’s bedroom but time had skipped and he was now lying on the bed, sweating and moaning pleasurably. ‘’No more! No more!’’ he roared at the top of his voice.

‘’You’re nothing but a coward! What the hell is our kids gonna do if they have a mother like you!’’ bellowed his father.

‘’You are a horrible, evil man! Get out!’’ shrieked Mary. ‘’Get out and never come back!’’

Charlie buried is face in his hands as he curled up in the middle of speeding motorway. ‘’Go away! Please! Just go away!’’. He opened his eyes slightly to see a cat running out in front of an oncoming truck. He watched it splatter against the steel bumper as a loud yelp ignited, cracking the tarmac into a chunks of floating debris.

‘’Julie NO!’’ he cried, tears flowing from his eyes.

What word? Sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy, sissy.
Look at what you made me do you little bastard!
I’ve had it up to here with your crying and winging!
Charlie, Rachel, everything will be okay. I promise. We’re moving to a new house and everything will be super!
You enjoy wearing girl’s clothes because, well, you’re a pansy or a tranny, transvestite or whatever you lot call yourselves!
That’s odd, because I could have sworn that I seen her up in her bedroom through the window.
Oh Charlie, you’re burning up!
D-Do you think you’ll stay in contact with me?
I am so proud of you!

***

‘’Charlie, Charlie! Wake up you idiot!’’

He opened his eyes, gasping for air. The sky was darkening a dark red and the sudden scent of freshly cut grass and warm air filled his nose. But the sounds of water running and the sigh of the breeze was replaced with plates crashing and Rachel’s panicked voice. His vision focused in to see Rachel standing over him, shaking his shoulders to wake him. ‘’Wh-What’s going on?’’ he asked, dumbfounded and disturbed by his nightmare.

‘’It’s Mom, Charlie!’’ she said tearfully.

He need not ask as his ears immediately tuned in to hear that somebody was inside the house, making a mess. He jumped off of the deck chair and marched through the back door. ‘’Charlie, wait! Be careful she’s very -,’’

He walked into the kitchen to find his mother dressed scruffily in her waitress uniform, casually throwing plates and cups on the floor with a cigarette hanging from her mouth. She was a complete mess and reeked of alcohol and smoke. She didn’t even notice that her son was standing there.

‘’What the hell is going on here?!’’ he yelled, feeling emotions felt years ago returning to him.

Mary swung around, staggering over her heels with a monstrous expression on her face. She didn’t look in the slightest bit like herself. Rachel stood behind Charlie with tears in her eyes. ‘’What? What is wrong with you oh son of mine? Am I upsetting you? Am I making you feel sad?’’ she asked sarcastically.

‘’Mom, please stop!’’ said Rachel sternly.

‘’Where were you today?’’ asked Charlie, his voice shaking.

‘’Well!’’ said Mary, slamming her hand on the table. ‘’I’m not going to tell you because you never tell me where you go!’’

She broke out in a fit of laughter that made Charlie feel so hurt that he too felt like crying. ‘’Why are you doing this?’’ he asked seriously. ‘’Why are you putting us through this again?! After you promised that you would stop you — what is wrong with you?! Seriously?!’’

‘’You want to know what is wrong with me? Okay then let’s see — um — I’m nearly forty. I have two ungrateful kids who don’t appreciate anything I do for them -,’’

‘’ — Mom please don’t -,’’

‘’ — DON’T tell me to be quite just because I have had a few drinks! I mean every single word!’’ snapped Mary fiercely. ‘’I’m stuck in a shitty job as I try and scrape together a living whilst you two don’t even attempt to help! You constantly forget that I’m here!’’

Rachel moved closer to Charlie as her lower lip began to tremble and tears started to stream down her cheeks. ‘’Mom we are so, so sorry -,’’

‘’No Rachel,’’ shot Charlie, his voice cracking as the lump in his throat grew larger. ‘’Let’s see what else she has to say! Go on mom! Tell us more how much you hate us!’’

Mary marched around the kitchen island and faced Charlie so closely that their noses almost touched. Her makeup was all smeared and her eyes were red raw from dried up tears. ‘’The words I’m looking for I’m not going to utter because it would destroy the little we have left,’’ she said coldly.

‘’You’re insane,’’ Charlie whispered.

For that, he received a swift but hard slap across the face. Her sharp nails scraped across his cheek which stung to the very core of his skin. He back away immediately beside Rachel and looked at his mother who looked as equally shocked as him. Rachel grabbed Charlie’s arm. He could feel her hand shake.

‘’What’s happened to you?’’ asked Charlie, beads of water trickling down his forehead.

‘’I — I don’t know — I -,’’ stammered Mary. She was utterly speechless and shocked. It was as if she had just broken free from the terrible beast that is alcohol. ‘’ — I — I’m sorry —‘’

‘’Why didn’t you tell us!’’ cried Rachel. ‘’You could have let us know you felt this way!’’

Rachel had awoken the beast once again and Mary fiercely spat back at her own daughter. ‘’Well now you know. Now you know that your mommy was driven crazy by her own children and that you both are little devils!’’

‘’Don’t take everything out on us just because Dad left you!’’ roared Charlie. ‘’Mom you know you could have talked to us! You know we would have listened! Turning back to drink doesn’t solve anything!’’

‘’You’re better than this!’’ Rachel added.

Mary stumbled backwards with a slurred look in her eyes, ‘’How dare you bring up Jack in this house in front of me after what he did!’’

‘’But your taking everything out on us!!’’ screamed Charlie.

‘’SHUT UP!’’ shrieked Mary, tears streaming down her face. She slowly slid down to the ground and wailed out. Her cries and sobs made Charlie want to go over and comfort her but he didn’t know whether it would be suitable. ‘’All I wanted was to have a normal family - ,’’ sobbed Mary, ‘’ - like we used to. You both have grown up so fast that you’ve forgotten about me, the one who raised you both single headedly -,’’ Her sobs started to sound like quick breaths as if she was hyperventilating. She was truly a pitiful sight as she sat on the floor crying.

‘’Mom we never -,’’ started Rachel.

‘’Get out,’’ said Mary, swallowing her pain. ‘’Both of you! Get out of my house now!’’

Charlie and Rachel couldn’t believe what she was saying to them. They just stood there dumbfounded and scared to the bone.

‘’GET OUT!’’ shrieked Mary, her face taking on a teary demonic face or rage.

Charlie hesitated but he moved around the room against the walls towards the door, feeling himself choke back his tears as he watched his mother on the floor. Rachel held onto his arm as she sniffed back her overpowering emotions. They didn’t say another word as they left through the front door. The two siblings were completely silent as they walked down the front path, through the front gate and down the dark street into the night, feeling a horrible pain beyond comprehension.

They had no idea where they going to go now.

SUMMARY: Their drunken mother, Mary, has kicked the Charlie and Rachel out of the house. The twins are now forced find refuge elsewhere for the night. It will be an important few hours for Charlie as he reflects on his life by questioning the conflicts that surround him before finding out a secret his mother has been keeping from him and his sister for months.

‘’What are we going to do now?’’ Charlie yelled over the loud rush of passing cars.

‘’I don’t know!’’ cried Rachel, tears streaming down her face.

‘’Well we can’t just hang around the streets all night!’’ shouted Charlie.

Rachel didn’t say anything back. She continued to walk briskly ahead of Charlie as if she knew where she was going. Dusk was rapidly descending into night and the skyline of the distant city buildings was beginning to light up like a Christmas tree. The easy but busy flow of traffic moved along the motorways and streets as they made their way back from work. There was a slight chill in the air, despite it being very warm earlier that day.

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks and whipped out her phone. ‘’What are you doing?’’ Charlie asked.

‘’I’m calling Kayla to see if she’ll let us stay at her house tonight. Her parents usually go out on Saturdays,’’ said Rachel in a stiff tone.

‘’Oh god no, not Kayla!’’ exclaimed Charlie. ‘’Can’t we just go to Sean’s?’’

‘’Charlie I’m not staying at that disgusting boys house for the entire night!’’ snapped Rachel.

‘’Well I’m not staying in the same house as a girl who has wanted to stick her claws into me since pre-school!’’ stated Charlie.

‘’Oh don’t flatter yourself!’’ Rachel shot across as she raised her phone to her ear.

Charlie retorted and spun around placing his hands behind his head whilst grinding his teeth annoyingly. ‘’Come on, pick up!’’ muttered Rachel under her breath.

Kayla, Rachel’s good friend and ‘’study-buddy’’ has openly fancied Charlie for as long as he could remember. She is a somewhat silly and sentimental girl, though she is smart and shows a serious side every once and a while. She is usually lively and loves to be in the centre of attention but tends react in extreme ways to everyday situations, either laughing or crying hysterically. She is also easily offended and emotional which always annoyed Charlie.

‘’Hi Kayla, its Rachel here — yeah — oh - yes — I was just wondering if - ,’’

Charlie drowned out everything around him and delved into his mind. ‘’How could you do this mom?’’ he said hopelessly into the dark night.

The speeding cars that sped by them on the main road created gusts of chilled night wind which made Charlie’s teeth chatter. He wrapped his arms around himself and began to see his own warm breath turning to a mist. Images and fragments of his mother’s outburst swam about in his head. The way she looked at him, the way she shrieked and roared at him whilst pouring her painful tears of depression out of her heart. It just opened up a whole new can of bad memories which he thought he’d never have to experience after his father left. He knew that the alcohol was responsible for her fit of rage but he couldn’t tell if what she said was true of not. He hoped not anyway.

‘’A drunk mind speaks a sober heart,’’ he scoffed.

‘’ — yeah! Great! Thank you so much Kayla. We’ll be over soon!’’ said Rachel over the phone.

‘’Great,’’ Charlie mumbled under his breath, ‘’an entire night with jugosaurus.’’

Rachel walked up behind Charlie who was looking at the cars passing by. ‘’She said she’d be happy to have us for the night.’’

‘’Does she know why we decided to spontaneously turn up and crash at her place?’’ said Charlie.

Rachel hesitated and started tripping over her words. ‘’I — I told her t-that I’d explain everything as soon as we got t-there.’’

‘’So you’re going to tell us that our moms a raging lunatic?’’ said Charlie sarcastically.

‘’Don’t say that!’’ snapped Rachel, tears remerging from her already red-raw eyes. ‘’How can you be so cruel about this! She’s our mother! She needs to be helped and all you’re doing is being an asshole about it!’’

‘’Okay let me see,’’ said Charlie, looking up whilst sarcastically pretending to ponder. ‘’She got drunk instead of going to work, kicked us out onto the street, and pretty much said that we’re lousy kids. Yes, I am the cruel one. Please enlighten me in how that makes sense?’’ said Charlie, shakily trying to keep his tone calm.

‘’Why don’t you -,’’ Rachel stopped halfway through as if she felt unsure on what she going to say, ‘’ — why don’t you stop thinking about yourself for a change. Try and see that this does not concern how you feel right now. She may have kicked us out but that doesn’t mean we have to brandish her as a bad mother!’’ cried Rachel.

‘’Good God, you are deluded girl!’’ said Charlie sharply. ‘’You cannot actually believe in what you’re saying?’’

‘’There’s obviously stuff we don’t know about Mom can’t you see that?’’ said Rachel, sniffing back her tears. ‘’She’s obviously bottled this stuff up for a long time and now she’s let it loose through drink. There still must be things she hasn’t told us yet so stop being such a selfish, arrogant prick and think about other people for a change!’’

Rachel’s face was literally red hot. Her hair was frizzy, her makeup was destroyed with tears and her overall state was just pitiful. Charlie felt a little put in his place after Rachel’s outburst but he still resented his mother at that moment. He couldn’t deny it but what she said was probably right however he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. His silence let her know very well. ‘’Now I’m going to Kayla’s with or without you!’’ she added, before swinging around and marching off down the sidewalk.

Charlie stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. He had never felt so lost in his entire life. He felt as if he had nothing. No hope, no dreams, no friends, no family. He looked down at the ground, listening to his heart pound against his ribs as he clenched his fists tearfully. ‘’Rachel, wait up!’’ he yelled.

After about twenty minutes of fast paced walking Charlie and Rachel arrived at Kayla’s house. Her house was situated in a luxury suburban housing estate in near the city. What made Charlie feel uneasy was the fact that it was quite near Dave’s house which was just a couple of estates away. The whole blackmail thing seemed only like a minor issue in his life right now in contrast to his current one.

Rachel knocked on the door whilst Charlie stood back behind her. Kayla swung open the door almost immediately. She looked ever so happy to see Rachel, but even more ecstatic to see Charlie. She ran to him and wrapped his arms around him tightly. ‘’Oh Charlie!’’ she gasped softly. ‘’Are you okay?’’

Charlie felt like he was being smothered in strawberry perfume and soft brunette hair. He didn’t know what to do. He hated hugs because he didn’t know how to react so he awkwardly patted her on the back. Charlie was quickly reminded of why he nicknamed her ‘’jugosaurus’’ because her very large bosom pressed into his chest like two melons! She eventually broke away. ‘’Are you okay?’’ she asked again.

‘’Yes, I’m fine,’’ muttered Charlie. ‘’Thanks for letting us stay.’’

‘’Oh I don’t mind,’’ she sighed passionately.

Kayla led them both in through the front door. She was a rather curvy girl, not chubby but quite rounded and soft. Her brunette hair was dead straight and lengthened all the way down her back. Her eyes were hazel coloured, her lips were wide and plump along with an upturned button nose in the centre of her face.

As she closed the door and pulled Rachel into an embrace Charlie couldn’t help but notice that she was rather dressed up for an extremely unfitting occasion. She was wearing a square-necked pinafore dress, shoulder strapped and decorated in a red and black plaid pattern along with matching black tights and slip on shoes with a red ribbon in her hair. Charlie didn’t want to think of himself as being some sort of a hotshot but he knew that she had dressed up for him after she found out that he was coming.

‘’What happened?’’ asked Kayla, concernedly as she broke away from Rachel.

‘’Oh it’s a long story,’’ said Rachel, forcing a smile as she attempted to look strong and un-phased by everything.

‘’You’ll have to vent everything to me honey as soon as I make you both some coco,’’ smiled Kayla before turning and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. ‘’Come on guys follow me!’’

‘’I can’t stay here tonight,’’ whispered Charlie, grabbing Rachel’s arm.

‘’Why not? Where else are you going to go?’’ said Rachel angrily through gritted teeth, her eyes darting to the hall to see if Kayla was in earshot.

‘’Anywhere but here! I can’t just sit around and watch two girls cry over their emotions! Besides what will her parents think of having a boy staying in their precious little daughter’s house at all night?’’

‘’When they hear the circumstances they will understand!’’ said Rachel, trying to break away from Charlie’s grip.

‘’Come on guys!’’ yelled Kayla from the kitchen. ‘’Don’t be shy bunnies!’’

Charlie wrinkled his nose in disgust and looked as if he was about to throw up. He hated how overtly girly Kayla acted. It seemed so fake to him. ‘’You see?’’ he exclaimed.

‘’Behave!’’ snapped Rachel, freeing her arm and pointing her finger at Charlie’s nose.

She then strutted off to the kitchen. Charlie slowly dragged himself behind her.

‘’Do you like my dress Charlie?’’ asked Kayla, doing a twirl in the middle of the kitchen.

Oh Jesus.

‘’Y-Yeah it’s quite — uh jovial,’’ stammered Charlie.

By the look on Kayla’s face she obviously didn’t know what the word meant however she still spoke in her breathy tone of voice. ‘’Awh thank you! You’re too sweet!’’

Rachel and Charlie looked at one another through the corner of their eyes. Jovial? Kayla handed them a cup of hot coco each and led them into the cosy sitting room, which was dimly lit, with a roaring fire beneath the mantle. She turned the television off and curled up on the sofa, inviting Charlie to sit next to her by patting a free spot.

‘’No thank you,’’ mumbled Charlie, in a stern tone as he opted for the single chair instead.

Rachel curled up on the couch right beside Kayla and began sipping at her coco. Her eyes were big, teary and bloodshot and her clothes were out of place and crooked which was unusual for her.

‘’So what happened to you both?’’ asked Kayla, swinging her head back and forth from Charlie to Rachel.

‘’W-Well — um — when Mom arrived home f-from work — I’m sorry — I —,’’

‘’It’s okay,’’ whispered Kayla hypnotically. ‘’It’ll be fine.’’

Charlie felt entirely out of place and incredibly awkward so he just looked down at the ground, taking the odd swig from his mug whilst trying to escape the room in his mind. He hated it when people said ‘’It’s okay’’ when clearly the person in pain is emotionally distressed. He always found it impossible to imagine things as being ‘’okay’’ when the world is so bleak. He felt that sadness was like a seemingly never-ending chasm, impossible to get out of but possible through time. But now he wasn’t so sure he’d ever get out. His life was such a mess.

He sat there until he finished his coco and by that time Kayla was stroking Rachel’s hair, repeatedly hushing softly whilst saying, ‘’It will be okay.’’. Charlie thought he was going to burst if she said that one more time. He clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug into the flesh of his palms. He was seething like a boiling pot, ready to overflow. He did not want to be there. He did not want to watch his sister cry beside Kayla. He just wanted to be alone.

He jumped to his feet placed his mug on the coffee table. Rachel, broken from her soothing relaxation looked up, alarmed and a little startled. ‘’I need to get some fresh air.’’

‘’Oh you’re not leaving are you?’’ asked Kayla disappointedly.

‘’Oh no I wouldn’t dream of leaving your kind hospitality,’’ said Charlie sarcastically.

Kayla blushed and smiled but then looked a little confused as she couldn’t tell if Charlie was being serious or not. Rachel however knew very well that if Charlie walked out the door that he would not come back for the entire night.

‘’I’ll be back in a few minutes,’’ said Charlie, forcing a crooked smile before briskly leaving the sitting room.

He went out the door as fast as he could before Rachel could catch up with him. He walked as fast yet as casually as he could down the suburban street, taking in cold breaths of air and shivering all over. He walked and he walked until he was way out of reach of anyone finding him. He strolled over the bypass bridge towards the inner city with his hands inside his pockets. His mother’s voice continued to echo at the back of his mind.

All I wanted was to have a normal family like we used to!

That’s the sentence that crushed Charlie the most, ‘’like we used to’’. It made him feel terrible and rotten inside. ‘’Oh mom, why couldn’t you just tell us?’’ he sighed to himself. He walked alongside the freeway, the rush of cars dying down the more night engulfed the day. The air was getting colder and Charlie was getting restless. He wished he had grabbed his jacket on the way out of the house. It seemed to him that the weather resonated with his own life, random and surprising.

He did not know how much more pain he could take before he crumbles entirely. He didn’t want to admit it to himself but his personality and emotions were covered in cracks, ready to shatter if he didn’t sort out his life soon. But then again why should he? He never asked for anything to happen. He figured that his life was horribly cursed ever since that fateful day when he snuck into Rachel’s room and tried on her uniform.

He had no clue where he was going. He had no idea where he was going to stay the night. And most of all he had no idea what to do with himself. He wasn’t going to get very far without money anyway. He knew he wanted to be alone but now that he had it he wished for somebody to be there with him. He cursed his motives for being so hypocritical and naíve but then he thought maybe he didn’t have anyone at all. Sean and Joseph weren’t exactly the type of friends one could confide in nor was he close enough to his other friends to do so as well. He thought he had Rachel but she was too busy with Kayla and he certainly didn’t have Julie.

He winced as Julie’s name came to mind. His heart gave a weary whine as his mind became a glob of mush. In a moment of sheer depression he couldn’t deny that he still had strong feelings for Julie in spite of what she did to him. He finally admitted that he tried to block her out of his life for so long and now that he had, well, it made him want her even more.

Charlie wondered what his mother was doing right now. She was either drinking more of feeling incredibly guilty for what she had done. He guessed she was probably still drinking because if she felt any bit of remorse for kicking her children out she would have called either of them by now. He couldn’t help but ponder on what drove her to this, what could’ve have forced her back into the horrors of alcohol after so many years of being sober. Her uninviting behaviour and refusal to share completely made him feel even worse for her. He had no idea what was going on inside her head for so long and it broke his heart to not know.

You both have grown up so fast that you’ve forgotten about me, the one who raised you both single headedly!

There just had to be more to her psychological distress than fear of aging. Charlie knew in his heart that there were things she wasn’t telling him and now that he had seen a facet of her crippling depression he was going to try and find out. But he felt scared of delving into his mother’s mentality because he was afraid of what he would find out. After she slapped him across the face, after staring into her unrecognisable eyes and after watching her wail on the floor desperately he wasn’t so sure if he knew his own mother anymore.

But no! Charlie thought. It had to be just the alcohol; why else would she suddenly freak out and have an emotional fit of anger?

He then he sombrely repeated the words, ‘’A drunk mind speaks a sober heart’’ under his breath.

He continued to walk along the sidewalk, now illuminated by street lamps. Everything now seemed to be coloured orange and black as night became fully fledged. He was no longer cold due to excessive walking and moving but the tip of his nose and fingers felt like icicles hung from them. He breathed warm air into his hands as he cupped them around his mouth, rubbing them together as he passed by a busy petrol and gas station. The bright lights of the attached supermarket and floodlights made his eyes burn and squint.

Then, to his complete and utter horror, he saw a little blue Ford Fiesta parked up beside a pump. His entire body froze as he eyes gaped wide open like a frightened rabbit. His mouth turned as dry as the desert and his lips chapped and sore. His eyes were fixed on the tall man who had his back turned as he filled up his car.

‘’Dave,’’ whispered Charlie fearfully.

He quickly got down on his hunkers and moved up against the short brick wall in front of the petrol station, peering over at the car as Dave filled it up with petrol. Then, to his great relief it turned out that it was not Dave at all, but a completely different person as the man turned his head around suspiciously. Charlie quickly jumped to his feet, gasping for breath as he had held it for the last twenty seconds or so. He turned and continued to walk.

Charlie felt like he was going insane, roaming the streets, seeing things that aren’t actually as he thought whilst feeling so sad and depressed at the same time. He didn’t know why he reacted the way he did back there. If it had been Dave then what could he have possibly done to him in front of countless witnesses? There was no way that he could admit that he was afraid of him.

Not a chance in hell.

***

Rachel was sitting on the spare mattress placed beside Kayla’s bed with her legs crossed in a meditation-like fixture. She is dressed only in a spare set of pink pyjama bottoms and a white camisole. She tied her hair back in a ponytail as Kayla jumped onto her bed, attired with her flimsy looking pink transparent nightdress.

Kayla’s room was the caricature of teenage femininity. The walls were plastered with posters of boys, guys, men, and idols from all forms of media. The walls were a light shade of pink. Her desk was stacked with a tower of books and her makeup station was scattered with dozens of products. Clothes were literally bursting out of the wardrobe and drawers. Teddy bears and plush toys stuffed into the corners. Cushions decorated with hearts, polka dots, lace trimmings, and the curtains, bed sheets, and pillows were no different. The room made Rachel’s one seem almost masculine!

The venting, crying and distress from the girls deep meaningful conversation had long passed and now they were both exhausted. As Rachel slipped in under her blankets, she knew she felt much better as she had released her emotions. However, her mom’s outburst remained on her mind, but not entirely. She was still worried about her, very worried.

‘’You don’t seem too bothered about Charlie?’’ said Kayla, lying on her bed and using her arm as a rest.

‘’Oh don’t worry,’’ said Rachel tiredly. ‘’If I know my brother, I’m sure he’s as Sean’s house as always.’’

‘’I don’t understand why he hangs out with that guy,’’ stated Kayla. ‘’I mean, he’s so icky.’’

‘’Believe me, I always wonder the same thing,’’ said Rachel, raising her brow. She exhaled deeply through her nose and looked up to Kayla. ‘’I think he wonders sometimes too.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ Kayla asked, her face lighting up.

Rachel sighed. ‘’He doesn’t seem to like Sean or Joseph very much yet he still hangs out with them. It’s as if -,’’

‘’ — he’s got nobody else?’’ said Kayla.

Rachel looked into her friends deep sad eyes and nodded. ‘’But the thing that bothers me most is that he doesn’t seem to care either. It’s as if he would rather be alone than spend time around people who should matter.’’

‘’Do you think I’m one of those people?’’ asked Kayla, her eyes sparkling as she sat up excitedly. ‘’The one he pretends not to care about?’’

Rachel laughed at this. ‘’Kayla I don’t understand why you have always liked my brother so much!’’ she smiled.

‘’H-He’s just a sweet guy,’’ said Kayla, turning pink. ‘’He’s nice, kind and genuine.’’

‘’This is Charlie we’re talking about right?’’ Rachel joked. ‘’He isn’t exactly the big cuddly teddy bear you seem to view him as? Remember what I told you about the way he treated my mother tonight?’’

‘’Yes but I have always seen past that side,’’ said Kayla breathlessly. ‘’I have always felt like I have known the true Charlie!’’

They shared a few moments of awkward silence before Rachel spoke again. ‘’He has changed, Kayla,’’ she said stiffly. ‘’He has changed so very much recently.’’

‘’In what way?’’ asked Kayla, curiously delving in the gossip.

‘’He’s distanced himself from me and mom and I think that could have contributed to my mom’s anger with us. He spends all of his time in his room and when he’s not there he’s off somewhere else. I f-feel — I feel -,’’

‘’What is it Rachel?’’ asked Kayla softly, moving in closer.

‘’I feel as if he is hiding something from us, something big that he is either too embarrassed to tell us about or — or something worse,’’ said Rachel beginning to get emotional again.

‘’W-What do you mean by something worse?’’ said Kayla sacredly. ‘’Like he is doing drugs or something?’’

‘’I dunno,’’ whispered Rachel, shaking her head gently.

‘’Awh but everybody has got secrets, Rachel,’’ said Kayla.

‘’I know,’’ she scoffed, ‘’but he’s defensive, private and lonely. He seems to be afraid of confronting things because if he actually pays attention then things matter and when things matter that becomes a big problem for him,’’ said Rachel, raising her voice a notch.

‘’I’m sure he’ll be fine, Rachel. He is just going through a rough time. You both are,’’ said Kayla in a comforting motherly tone.

‘’No, no this has been going on for months and now it has reached wrecking point,’’ said Rachel.

‘’Are you saying that your moms drinking is because of Charlie?’’ asked Kayla, shocked.

‘’Oh no I’d never put such a blame on him,’’ said Rachel reassuringly. ‘’It’s just — it’s just because he’s my brother. I love him more than anything and we have been through a lot together. We stuck together like peas and carrots after Dad left. We helped one another, looked out for each other and all that. And there was a time recently when we were like that again but now — now I feel like he’s no longer there.’’

Kayla’s eyes were beginning to tear up. She wiped her eyes off her dress and sniffed into a tissue. ‘’I’m so sorry Rachel I had no idea - ,’’

‘’What I’m basically saying is that if there is something that Charlie needs to tell either me or Mom then he would want to say it soon or — or i-I’ll be afraid of what he will become.’’

***

Charlie was freezing and shaking all over. The air had taken a sharp form that chilled to the very bone. The hairs on his arms stood up, his teeth chattered viciously and he rubbed his sides raw for warmth. It was very dark. The moons rays were blocked by musty black clouds and the stars were nowhere to be seen. It resonated with his feelings. Everything was like a dark ceiling without a star.

He was angry, bitter, and overall manic. He was seething with a pulsing rage to hurt the ones he loved but his overall anxiety focused on Julie. Surprisingly, she had called him back after Charlie’s numerous attempts to get her attention. As they spoke over the phone, she knew by the tone of his voice that something was seriously wrong. She asked him to meet her by the river, on the fourth bench alongside the cobbled pier, overlooking the distant buildings of the city.

It was dark, very late, and freezing cold. Charlie wondered if he was in the right place at all. His mind had become a confused mesh of worry, fear, and anger but all he could concentrate on now was staying warm. ‘’Come on Julie! Hurry up!’’ he muttered, shivering all over.

Then, she was there. His eyes lit up and his mouth went dry as he stared at her standing a few feet away. She was dressed rather inappropriately for the weather. She wore the same outfit the day they spent together in the park. A Navy and white striped tank top tucked into a pair of high waisted sailor shorts with thin black tights and slip on shoes. Her rich thick auburn hair hung down over her shoulders like two beautiful maroon curtains.

She moved forward and sat down beside Charlie, not taking her eyes off his. They did not speak nor did they utter a single word. They just communicated through the emotion shown on their faces. She looked sad, yet, strangely happy to see him. Charlie felt equally the same. Her sudden presence radiated his entire body and soul. She seemed to emit a warm glow that made everything seem okay. She stood out brightly in a dark cold night as her scent and appearance spoke of summer breeze.

‘’What happened?’’ she asked, gently touching Charlie’s knee. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

He looked at her hand feeling the same emotions of uncertainty as he once had before. He wanted to touch it, hold it, and grasp it in his own so he did. He then looked into her eyes. They were so beautiful, bright, shiny, yet watery with tears of care and concern. ‘’Everything,’’ said Charlie simply.

‘’Oh Charlie,’’ sighed Julie. ‘’I am so sorry!’’

‘’It’s okay.’’

They stared at one another, sharing a silence not awkward but beautifully poignant. Charlie found himself lost in lush green forests of her eyes. Her thick lashes and light liner really brought out her vibrant, expressive, yet sad eyes.

‘’Your eyes are so beautiful,’’ he said, hypnotically moving in closer.

She did not look away. It seemed to be that it was just them in the world, no one else.

‘’Thanks Charlie,’’ she said softly, her eyelids readying to close.

They were so close now that Charlie could count the lashes around Julie’s eyes. They hesitated for a moment but their lips pressed against one another’s like two soft cushions. He found himself lost in her warm radiance. He did not expect it to be so mesmerising, loving, and nice. It was like strawberries on a hot summer’s day.

As soon as Charlie woke up, he had completely forgotten the whole dream. He lay across the hard wooden bench in an awkward uncomfortable position, staring into space with his hands resting behind his head for support. As the dream faded away into nothingness, he wondered if it actually happened. He peered over his knees to see that Julie was not there nor was she ever. His groaned painfully entire body ached from lack of rest and sores. His face was coloured sickly pale and his eyes were wide and glassy. His hair was a complete mess, sticking out in all directions. His skin felt dry and filthy.

He rolled over onto the cobbled stone ground, the sounds of morning filling his ears. Seagulls, water lapping, and the distant drone of the industrial machinery on the docks echoed across the river. Dawn had arrived as the sky was tinted in a sickly grey with dull light covering the city. It was as if the world was getting brighter but there was no sun because it was smothered by dark clouds.

Charlie picked himself up to his two feet, stretched, and cracked his neck. He was grateful for surviving the entire night on the streets, as it got rather scary at some stages. He patted his pockets to see if everything was there. Miraculously, nobody had stolen his phone or clothes whilst he slept.

He limped to the concrete wall by the river and leant up against it, taking in deep breathes of fresh air by the second. He then took out his phone to see that it was 05:38.a.m. He also had numerous missed calls from his mother and Rachel. He scoffed to himself. ‘’Maybe they do actually care,’’ he mumbled.

He knew it was time to go home at last but he was not going to tell his mother. He wanted her to feel the guilt of what she had done for a little while longer. He wanted her to feel bad. He was definitely not thinking straight.

As he began his long walk home, he began to reflect on the last few eventful days. It felt like a lifetime ago since he was running around the tennis court in the uniform, playfully jumping, feeling the flimsiness of the pleated skirt. It was only three days ago. It seemed impossibly far away. He felt as if that day could possibly be the last one when he was truly happy. So much had happened since then, from Dave blackmailing him to the neglect of Julie and the sudden outburst from his mother.

‘’God,’’ he sighed as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. ‘’Everybody’s crazy!’’

He felt that he was getting used to being surprised by people now. He had no idea how some could hide their demons so well, letting them swell up and unleashing them in horribly hurtful ways. He did not know how much longer he could handle it.

***

Charlie arrived home at around seven o’clock that morning. The second he opened the door, his mother, who literally jumped on him and took him in for a tight embrace smothered him with her arms. ‘’I am so sorry Charlie,’’ she cried. ‘’I — I’m sorry.’’

He did not know what to do. He just stood there idly, not knowing if he should hug back. It was a few moments before his mother broke off but her hands remained on his shoulders as she searched his face for any signs of forgiveness or anything at all really. His face was stiff and expressionless.

‘’Where’s Rachel?’’ he asked moodily.

‘’S-She’s upstairs in bed,’’ said Mary, now knowing of her sons anger.

‘’So she’s forgiven you then?’’ said Charlie as he brushed by her towards the kitchen.

‘’I — I don’t think she — she knows now the circumstances of what happened last night,’’ stuttered Mary.

Charlie went to the kitchen not because he wanted food but because he could not stand to look at his own mother. She looked terrible, hung-over, in pain, and overall pitiful. ‘’And what are the circumstances?’’ asked Charlie with a right lipped poker face.

Mary stood by the kitchen doorway, looking fragile and broken. She was still wearing her work uniform from the previous day and her makeup had morphed her face into some twisted abstract painting. Her hair was frazzled and curly and her eyes were red raw and puffy. She tripped over her words as If she could not bring herself to tell her son something important he should know.

‘’You should sit,’’ she said coldly.

Something snapped in Charlie as he said this and a nerve bulged in the side of his neck. A cold wave of terror spilled over him as he walked to the table chairs and sat. He knew was about to be told something serious, something that would ruin him entirely. Mary sat down close to him and did not speak for a moment.

‘’What is it?’’ Charlie asked.

‘’Charlie — I — I want you to understand that it has always been very hard for us -,’’

‘’ — Mom I understand completely but that doesn’t explain why you had to -,’’

Mary immediately interjected. ‘’ — please, Charlie, just hear me out for a second.’’ She sighed and recomposed herself. ‘’You have been a child of one parent for a long time and you have been strong and understanding. I know that last night shocked and confused you and I may never forgive myself for how I treated you.’’

She stopped for a moment. Her kind, motherly tone of voice made Charlie feel like a child again. ‘’What is it you have to tell me?’’ he asked anxiously. ‘’I need to know now.’’

Mary exhaled deeply as her lower lip began to tremble tearfully. ‘’W-We have to move out.’’

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, not believing his ears.

‘’T-The bank, they’re taking the house in three months if we — I don’t pay the mortgage,’’ said Mary, silent tears trickling from the corner of her eyes. ‘’I can’t afford it anymore. We’re going to have to move after the summer.’’

Everything suddenly felt too unreal, like a dream that Charlie could not escape. He could not believe his ears but his mind told him it was true. Despite how devastating the news should be, Charlie felt a strange tinge of happiness. This ‘’move’’ could be highly beneficial for his miserable life.

SUMMARY: After revelations of a possible move, Charlie’s life has become somewhat more positive as he now craves for a brighter future. However, his life is about to be shaken up as his ‘’relationship’’ with the blackmailer, Dave heightens as he they go on a shopping date together where Charlie will meet a young woman who will inevitably change his life…forever.

The moment that Charlie was told that he would be moving out of his current home he could not help but feel a little sad at first. However, the more he thought about the prospect the more it made him feel hopeful for a brighter future. For so long he had been stuck in a never-ending chasm of darkness and now there was a light at the end of the tunnel. It was something to look forward to, something to root for and above all else a chance to restart his life. It was the perfect plan to escape Dave’s blackmail and all of the bad memories that came with the house.

Nevertheless, he had to admit that he felt sad he would not be returning to his school that September to spend his final year with his friends. At the same time, he could not care less because it would only be a year before they reunited in college once more. Yet, he was not sure if his carelessness came from logic or from his lack of sympathy for friends such as Sean and Joseph. He did not know but he was sure about one person he would be truly heartbroken to leave, Julie.

Even though this ‘’move’’ offered Charlie something to aim for, the chances of it actually happening remained uncertain. The bank had given Mary three months. That was all summer long to come up with enough money to balance out the mortgage bills. She had taken on extra hours at the restaurant and now worked seven days a week, much to Charlie and Rachel’s dismay of course. Because of her fragile mentality, they worried for her health and benefit. The combination of stress and depression can be lethal but she did not listen and insisted that she would try her very best to keep their home.

They knew that there were things their mother had not yet told them, deeper feelings, emotions and conflicts that not many would desire to share. They still did not have a clue of what could be wrong with her. She refused help and insisted that everything was okay. When people said this it always annoyed Charlie because, hypocritically, he hated liars but he refrained from attacking her in an angry outburst because he knew it would push her over the edge. Despite her lies and will to concentrate only on getting enough money together, her every day behaviour seemed to return to what could be described as ‘’normal’’.

Because Charlie felt guilty and now gained the will to help his mother, he took the offer of the part-time job at the restaurant that she had offered him months ago. From June 4th thereafter through the summer months he would be working every Monday, Tuesday and half of Wednesday as a dishwasher in the kitchens for 225 in cash per workweek. The money was not bad but he had two problems. Firstly, he would be working a gruelling twelve hours straight, from nine to nine on the Mondays and Tuesdays and from nine to three on Wednesdays without breaks. Secondly, he would have no idea what to spend his wages on because from what he could remember, Dave said that he would have to pay for the clothes he bought for him from then on. It was either pay money to support his family or protect his pride and dignity. He tried not to worry about it until he actually started working.

Rachel was ultimately very upset about the possibility of moving. It crushed her inside to think that she would not be able to graduate next year with her friends at school but in another one entirely. She somehow felt responsible for the houses foreclosure so out of guilt she took a weekend job at a pet shop owned by her friend’s family as a part-time assistant. Unlike Charlie, she believed that her mother had relieved almost all of emotions that night she came home drunk. She blamed the stress of money and single parenthood as the underlying cause of her mother’s manic outburst and refused to consider that there were other causes elsewhere. She was not the one who was slapped across the face, she was not the one who got the most abuse, and she was not the one who had stared into her mother’s unrecognisable eyes as she berated and cursed her for being a bad child. She did not understand her mother’s problem as much as her brother did.

As for school, the twins continued to attend and prepare for their summer exams, which were ever so close. When Rachel told Kayla that she might be moving, she burst out into a frantic fit of tears and began wailing in the middle of the school corridor. ‘’A-Are y-you sure you’re m-moving!’’ she sobbed tearfully.

‘’We do not know yet Kayla,’’ said Rachel softly, ‘’but I am afraid it’s likely.’’

When Charlie told Sean and Joseph, they wore poker faces and looked as if they did not really care despite their eyes saying otherwise. Sean’s face turned a little pale and looked as if he were going to get sick but he retained his ‘’manly’’ demeanour. ‘’Well it doesn’t really matter does it? I mean, you only had one year left in this school anyway!’’ he said reassuringly.

‘’Yeah but I don’t know if I’ll be even living in this city anymore,’’ said Charlie coldly. ‘’It could be an entirely different town or even a foreign country if things get extreme.’’

‘’Nah mate, I wouldn’t move abroad,’’ said Joseph. ‘’No money there whatsoever.’’

‘’There’s no money anywhere you twat! In case you haven’t noticed the whole world is screwed!’’ snapped Sean. ‘’If you plan to live abroad you’d best stick with me and take my advice, Charlie. Greece all the way, no questions asked!’’

Oh how Charlie would miss his two friends idiocy!

His social life outside of the Sean/Joseph friendship remained rocky. Julie no longer said a word to him ever since he stood her up at the café. It was not his fault as he was too busy being horribly blackmailed by Dave. She went to hurtful measures and would do such things as walk straight by him on the school corridors as if she had never known him. It pained him deeply when she did this because he never imagined that she would be so resentful, so callous, so bitter, and so cruel. She always seemed so delicate, sweet and kind but this side made their whole relationship feel like a tragedy. However, he knew he could not speak much for himself. If he was going to be moving away, he wished only to resolve his differences with her before he left for good.

As for Dave, well, Charlie continued to go to his house every Friday night to dress up in the schoolgirl uniform to help him study for the summer exams. His abnormally insane behaviour seemed to tame down the more Charlie visited. His disturbing reaction of Charlie’s resemblance of Rachel had dramatically reduced to casual speech and talk as though everything were normal. When they were not studying, he would chat politely to Charlie, talk about such things as school, and work as if they were the best of friends. Because Charlie could do nothing but play along, this made things easier for the both of them. If Charlie gave him no reason to strike out in a fit of anger, Dave would not harm him. Moreover, he was not cruel or forceful when he handed him the uniform each Friday night because Charlie obeyed and accepted to protect his secret and dignity.

Charlie did not know whether to find this relieving or worrying because he feared that Dave had something big in store for him. However, he chose to hope that things would remain steady with them both as long as he complied and performed his role as Rachel each Friday night. Yet he could not tell if Dave was playing with him or not, if he was testing him. He felt unsure of his motives, his charming behaviour, and comforting nature. From what he saw the first night he went to his house, he was a highly unstable man with serious issues. Charlie could not tell if Dave’s niceness came from his conformism to his bidding or if he was preparing something big for him.

The thought of being trapped within Dave’s grips forever was the main cause of Charlie’s misery before he found out he would be moving. Again, the thought of moving away gave him hope, a light at the end of the tunnel. Now that he knew there was a way to escape Dave’s grips he felt that he could play along with him. However, he still had his terrifying uncertainties and questions such as what would he be doing at Dave’s house that summer if there was no more studying and how long could he hold off his sexual advances before he got serious? If there was no schoolwork to be done indoors then what would they do? He feared that Dave would make him go outside, dressed as a girl to go on ‘’romantic’’ dates.

Dave would not make Charlie go that far. Definitely not. Or would he?

---

Charlie rolled over in his bed and groaned happily. The amazing feeling of the summer sleep-in had taken him into its warm and comforting embrace. He felt truly rested and planned to lazily stay there for some time. It was the first day of the summer holidays, Saturday June 2nd. He had finished his exams the day before and had gone out with his entire school year that night. They all went to the same nightclub as before. The one that always let the underage in or as Charlie remembered it, the place where he found out that Julie was a bitch.

Despite the night being a complete haze, he remembered actually having a great time. It seemed that everybody was in their best spirits after the end of the school year. He remembered vaguely chatting up a girl at the bar but he could not decipher much after that. He smiled to himself as he tried recalling the night’s events. It was difficult to try to think straight but in time he knew the memories would come back to him in the form of flashbacks. He figured that the saving and scrounging up for the celebration money over the past few weeks had been well worth it.

He lay there, basking in the soft cushiony mattress as he opened one eye to look at the clock. Suddenly, he felt as if somebody had given him and electric prod in the back. He quickly jumped out of bed in a panic as the time dawned upon him. It was quarter past nine o’clock. He was supposed to meet with Dave fifteen minutes ago at the top of the cul-de-sac.

‘’Shit, shit, shit, shit!’’ he repeated frantically as he pulled on his jeans.

He did not have time to shower or eat breakfast. His mother had already left for work two hours ago but his sister still remained in the house. He hopped down the corridor as he put on his sneakers before bursting into Rachel’s room.

‘’You awake?’’ whispered Charlie. She did not respond. She was obviously very hung over. ‘’HEY!’’ he bellowed. ‘’WAKE UP!’’

Rachel let out a long, horribly dramatic groan.

‘’I’m going into town with the guys. I’ll be gone a while,’’ said Charlie.

Rachel responded with a grunt before falling asleep again and Charlie took that as an understanding. He ran down the stairs, pulling his red t-shirt over his head and nearly tripping over the bottom three steps. He swung open the front door, the bright morning light nearly blinding him. As he walked down the front path, feeling a boiling heat of the warm summer morning sizzle the skin on his neck, his vision focused in to see a small blue Ford Fiesta pulling up outside the front gate.

Charlie’s jaw literally dropped to the ground in outrage. He looked over his shoulder to see his sister’s bedroom curtains remained closed. He opened the front gate and began assaulting Dave through the open car window, ‘’What the hell do you think you’re doing?!’’ he said sharply in a low tone of voice.

‘’What?’’ shot Dave. ‘’You were late!’’

‘’That doesn’t mean you have to turn up outside my house!’’ snapped Charlie as he walked around the bonnet to the passenger seat. ‘’You could have waited longer!’’

Charlie got in the passenger seat and slammed the door. ‘’You risked my exposure Dave! We agreed that we’d always meet in private not outside my house!’’

‘’Well you’re not caught!’’ shouted Dave.

‘’Shh,’’ Charlie hushed, ‘’I could have been! What if Ra — ,’’ he stopped mid sentence, releasing he had to keep his cool, play along and especially not mention the ‘R’ word, ‘’ - um — ugh, never mind,’’ he said, turning his head away and sulking moodily.

Dave turned the car, left the suburban estate, and drove out onto the main road. Charlie had no idea where he was taking him. He did not have time to speculate as he only received the text from Dave the previous night stating, ‘’Meet me at the top of your road tomorrow morning at nine.’’. It was only now that it had hit him that something was not quite right and it came down on top of him like a ton of bricks.

Oh god!

Dave drove casually along the highway towards the city with the radio blaring with the windows rolled down fully. The swift gust of summer breeze gushed in and out through the interior of the car as the sun pelted its powerfully hot rays over the blue metal exterior. Summery dance music pounded from the sound system as Dave rhythmically tapped the steering wheel with his forefinger. He wore a pair of stylish sunglasses. His brown hair was independent of gel for once as it flew freely in the wind. His large muscular physique was evident through his tight blue polo shirt and matching jeans.

Charlie stared out his window at the road as it sped by him so fast that it seemed to be nothing but a tarmac themed blur. He could feel his pulse in his neck pounding anxiously. He was trying to think clearly about what Dave might have in store for him. All he could think about was the worst. His feet shuffled nervously as he bit his lower lip to cope with the stress.

‘’Relax man! I’m not going to murder you or anything!’’ Dave grinned jokingly.

Well that’s that prospect off the list!

‘’What are we going doing today anyway?’’ asked Charlie, hoping for an honest answer.

‘’It’s a surprise,’’ teased Dave.

‘’I hate surprises,’’ sulked Charlie.

‘’You will like this one!’’ said Dave happily.

‘’Will I though? Will I really?’’ Charlie questioned.

Dave drove and drove until he was on the other side of the city where the industrial landscapes and docks lay. The grittiness and dangerous nature of some of the neighbourhoods they ventured through made Charlie feel uneasy. He started tapping the dashboard impatiently with his fingers.

‘’Could you please tell me where we are going?’’ plead Charlie. ‘’You don’t have to be so secretive.’’

‘’Okay fine!’’ snapped Dave. ‘’Remember how I told you that we would be buying you plenty of clothes to wear from now on?’’

‘’Yeah?’’ said Charlie softly, feeling weary of what was to come.

‘’Well that is what we are doing today. We’re going shopping,’’ smiled Dave.

Charlie did not like the idea of shopping for girls clothes seeing as he was obviously a boy and nothing more. He would look like an obvious transvestite or at least some sort of a pervert, especially if he was with Dave whilst doing it. He still felt that Dave was not being completely honest with him. He could not figure out why they were in such a remote part of the city. Dave drove until they left the slums and ventured into a modern industrial estate by the east river.

This cannot be good!

‘’Um, Dave, why are we here?’’ asked Charlie nervously.

‘’I told you already. We are going shopping,’’ said Dave, smiling in the corner of his mouth, loving every moment.

They entered a large park filled with large warehouses that sold products in large bulks to smaller businesses. Among the large storage buildings were smaller shops that sold things like furniture, DIY products, electronic tools, and car dealers. Dave drove past all of industrial shopping estate.

‘’Are we going shopping for furniture,’’ asked Charlie sarcastically.

Dave responded only with a thin-lipped smile. He looked vaguely annoyed and began mumbling, ‘’Where are you? You should be here!’’. The whole sketchiness and suspicion of Dave’s behaviour made Charlie want to open the car door and make a run for it. Maybe he could. He could easily outrun Dave in a second but, as always, he had to remind himself that Dave knew his secret.

‘’If we’re going shopping for clothes then will people not find it strange that two young men are buying girls stuff?’’ asked Charlie, his voice cracking tensely.

Dave did not say anything for a moment as he concentrated on finding a certain place. He drove down a small alleyway that diverged from the estate and went under an elevated motorway. There was a large concrete building with barred windows, steep entrance steps with a neon sign flickering above its main entrance that read, ‘’Sweet Sensations Costume House.’’ Dave stopped the car outside the building and turned to Charlie.

‘’No, I don’t think anybody will find it strange because only one of us is going to be a girl here,’’ said Dave. ‘’And I think you know already that it is not going to be me.’’

Charlie felt as if icy cold water had been poured over him. He immediately began shaking his head as Dave reached in the backseat and pulled out a bag. He was utterly speechless and all sound and words were taken from his mouth by disbelief.

‘’I’ve ordered a list of items for you to collect inside that building there,’’ said Dave, reaching into his pocket. ‘’It’ll be very expensive but we’ve agreed that you will pay me back whenever you can.’’

Charlie continued to shake his head in shock as Dave handed him the bag. ‘’Dave, I can’t — I’m sorry I can’t g-go outside dressed in girls clothes.’’

However, Dave blocked out Charlie’s plea for another resolution. ‘’Everything you need is in the bag,’’ said Dave, refusing to look at Charlie, ‘’a dress, underwear, makeup and all that stuff.’’ He scrunched up the list of items and money in Charlie’s stiff, motionless hand. ‘’When you go inside just tell them that you’ve placed a phone order by the name of Steve Jacobs.’’

‘’ — I can’t do this!’’ Charlie said, cutting across Dave. ‘’I cannot go outside on a day like this in girls clothes. P-People will notice. They will laugh! Please, don’t make me do this!’’ Charlie plead desperately.

‘’You won’t a reason to be caught if you put the effort into fooling people. If you buy the stuff I’ve researched about, then you will look more like any other girl when you’re dressed up,’’ said Dave, still not looking at Charlie. ‘’And when you come out of that place I probably won’t even recognise you!’’

Charlie’s eyes glanced at the list but immediately turned away when he seen the items he had to purchase. A waist corset clinch, 30C silicone breasts, padded rear and hips girdle, and four-inch heels. He began to feel as if something was squeezing hard on his lungs. His heart pounded violently against his ribs as if it were trying to escape his body and he felt a hot sensation burning his skin from within. He felt a dawning panic attack. There was no way that he could possibly bring himself to go out into the open dressed up.

‘’Dave, I am s-sorry but I — I’m not ready for this yet. I’m not ready to go outside in the open,’’ said Charlie, hoping to appeal to the lesser known side of Dave.

‘’You were ready at the tennis court,’’ said Dave, finally looking at him.

‘’T-That was completely different,’’ stuttered Charlie.

‘’How?’’ Dave asked coldly.

Charlie was lost for words. Fear had taken hold of his body and it was as if it refused to let him talk. He gasped for air. ‘’I — I can’t do this,’’ Charlie said, feeling like a broken record. ‘’I really, truly am very, very sorry but this cannot go ahead today. It is too much too soon.’’

Dave looked up ahead out of the windscreen, pondering on what was the right thing to do. For a moment he looked like he was about to reconsider but he then turned and mumbled, ‘’You should get going inside.’’

Charlie could not believe it. He felt as if there were a ticking time bomb inside his chest, ready to blow up any minute if he was not thrown a bone. Suddenly, he grabbed Dave’s arm and their eyes immediately interlocked. ‘’I will literally do anything, Dave. Please!’’

Dave looked a little startled and for a moment, a twinge of conflict flashed across his eye. Again, he looked like he was troubled, not knowing what he should do. However, he leaned in uncomfortably close to Charlie’s face and said, ‘’you can go inside, get made up, then we will go shopping and you will have fun.’’ He then reached across for the passenger door, unlocked it and pushed it open, the sounds of the vast industrial complex flooding into the car. ‘’And remember, your name is Steve Jacobs.’’

Charlie, who felt a horrible mixture of anger and fear swirling within the acids of his stomach stepped out of the car slowly with the bag, list and money in his hands. He had absolutely no choice in the matter nor would he be even considered one. His mind had suddenly become so muddled with fear and anger that he could not think straight.

He hesitated before closing the door, stuck his head inside and said, ‘’You do realise that you’re an insane bastard, right? Soon you will get what is coming to you and I can’t fucking wait for that day!’’. He then slammed the door as hard as he could before Dave could even respond.

As he walked toward the shop, he could feel his eyes stinging as they moistened up with angry tears. He felt emotionally compromised by what Dave was forcing him to do. He took several deep breaths and choked back his emotions. There was no way in hell that he could possibly let himself cry over a scumbag like Dave. Ever since the blackmail began, he had cried once and that was the last time he had done so since he was a child.

Here he was beneath an overpass bridge, in the most random part of the city, walking towards a shop that specialised in costumes. He did not even think about the contents of the bag as his mind pondered on how Dave managed to find such a place. The building looked private, as if one had to knock on its door to gain entry. Hanging in the window were two signs. One read, ‘’OPEN’’ whilst the other explained, ‘’STRICTLY OVER 18’s’’. He looked over his shoulder to see that Dave’s car had gone.

‘’What the fu —, ‘’ Now Charlie felt very angry. He felt like screaming out in rage at the top of his voice. He kicked a nearby bin as hard as he could, pain shooting right up his toes and into his leg. He was fuming, his face was red hot, and his eyes became bloodshot. He sat down on the entrance steps and rubbed the back of his head, breathing heavily. He did not notice but he was shaking with nerves and frustration. He could feel something inside him, ready to pop like a balloon if he was not thrown a bone. He reviewed his situation. He had been dumped off at some random shop in a godforsaken part of town to buy items he would never be caught seen purchasing, all whilst to risking his secrecy by hands of Dave.

He took out his phone and angrily typed a text, ‘’Where are you gone?!!’’. Suddenly the door of the shop opened and Charlie immediately jumped to his feet, turning to see a voluptuous looking woman with feminine curves, heavy makeup, and long flowing blonde hair. She walked by Charlie down the steps. ‘’Hello mister,’’ she said, her voice deep yet sultry. Charlie’s eyes were wide open and fixed on the woman as she walked away down the footpath. She was dressed in a rather tight outfit with long heels that gave her the essence of a caricature.

Charlie thought that she did not look like the kind of woman who went into a costume shop. He looked at the entrance door and then back at the woman who walked away in the distance down the footpath, swaying her hips back and forth in an overtly feminine fashion.

He looked a little confused, if not suspicious. He walked to the door, feeling his mouth twitch tensely. He placed his right hand on the knob as beads of sweat dripped down his forehead. ‘’Oh, Christ!’’ he mumbled hopelessly. He did not know what to expect on the other side. It could be some sort of brothel from what he had seen from the woman who left or an empty warehouse where he was to be viscously attacked. The terrifying but absurdly possible notions swirled around Charlie’s mind until he twisted the knob and plunged into the store as if he were jumping off a fifty-footer ledge.

He stepped inside and carefully closed the door behind him. It took a moment for his eyes to adapt but he had just stepped into what looked like a small reception room. The dirty walls were draped with velvet materials to make the place seem nicer, the floor was laid with a musty old carpet with various stains and the light illuminating the small room buzzed and flickered annoyingly. His eyes did not have time to soak up the place completely as somebody coughed to get his attention.

A woman with obviously dyed jet-black hair with a pale tone and leathery sunken skin sat upon a high stool behind a counter nearby. She reminded Charlie of some sort of a roman gypsy or a witch. ‘’Did you not see the sign?’’ she asked in a droning robotic tone.

‘’It s-said you were open?’’ Charlie said nervously.

‘’No the other one,’’ said the woman, annoyed.

‘’Oh — uh — well — yes, yes I am over eighteen,’’ stammered Charlie.

‘’Prove it,’’ she hissed bitterly.

Words caught in the centre of Charlie’s throat and he had no idea what to do. If he could not even buy the things Dave asked him to get then he had no idea what he would do to him. He could feel his body breaking out in a cold sweat of anxiousness despite the room being very warm. The woman scared the hell out of him as her eyes pierced into his as if she was staring into his soul.

‘’I’ve made an order for some items,’’ said Charlie, taking the list of items from his pocket.

‘’I don’t care! Get out of here!’’ snapped the vile woman.

‘’Oh leave him alone Pricilla,’’ said a sweeter, younger voice with a slight European accent.

Charlie’s head immediately turned to see a young woman walk through a set of beaded curtains behind the counter. The scary, freaky old woman who Charlie now knew as Pricilla sneered at the young woman angrily. ‘’He’s under age!’’ she hissed sharply. ‘’He is not allowed to be in here!’’

‘’You don’t know that,’’ said the young woman, walking around the counter, her eyes looking at Charlie for a second. ‘’Pricilla, how do you expect to keep this place running if you turn everyone away. He is probably like — oh I dunno twenty-nine for all we know!’’

Charlie felt as if he were watching television because at that moment he felt like he was not even in the room. Pricilla grumbled moodily, muttering profanities that sounded something like, ‘’grimmble grumble - mumble - bitch face - wanker - mimmble - arrah - why I would do -!’’. She then got off her high stool and waddled into the back of the shop, cursing everything under her breath.

The young woman sighed, rolled her eyes, placed her hands on her hips, and finally looked at Charlie. ‘’You the guy who ordered by phone?’’ she asked.

Charlie gave a weak nod.

‘’Are you really over eighteen?’’ she asked, smiling as though she already knew the answer.

Charlie, who began to back away towards the door, felt the need to get out of there quickly. ‘’No, no I’m not but I’ll leave now,’’ he said. ‘’I wouldn’t wish to waste any more of your time. I’ll just -,’’

‘’Phfft!’’ scoffed the young woman. ‘’Relax dude, it’s only a costume shop. Sure, we might sell a bunch of sex toys and all that crap but you have not stepped into some brothel!’’

Charlie was immediately taken aback by this young woman’s manner of speech and voice, which intrigued him greatly. She was roughly the same height as him, very skinny, but lean and strong with slight feminine curves. She had short jet-black hair with a vibrant teal streak and matching lipstick. She wore a short ruffled mini skirt, black and white stripped tights with knee high boots with a simple teal coloured tank top that displayed a revealing bosom. ‘’Are you gonna talk?’’ she asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘’Wha — oh — uh — sorry,’’ said Charlie, his cheeks turning scarlet.

‘’Right friend, I presume you’re Steve?’’ said the young woman, positioning herself on the high stool behind the counter.

Charlie suddenly felt the icy chill of nerves engulf him once again. He had never confessed to anybody that he was a cross-dresser in his life and now he had to do so in order to comply with Dave. He shuffled his feet as he looked down at the ground and then up again, half hoping that the woman would not ask about his ‘requested’ items

‘’You don’t talk much, do you?’’ said the woman, now swinging back and over on the stool.

Charlie wanted to say it out just so he could get out of there and never return. He knew he would probably never see the woman again nor would she either but he just couldn’t utter the three simple syllables that somewhat defined him as a person. ‘’I’m sorry I don’t usually let people know that I’m a — that I am a -,’’

‘’ - a cross-dresser?’’ smiled the woman, her eyes gaping widely. ‘’Yes — well — I kind of gathered that from all of the stuff you ordered on our website. You really are going full on with the whole pretending-to-be-a-girl thing!’’

‘’Yes,’’ Charlie muttered, hating what the woman had just called him.

‘’The last time I served a cross-dresser has been like, oh, only five minutes ago!’’ said the woman.

Charlie felt a little bemused, ‘’You mean — t-that woman a few minutes ago — w-with the blonde hair was -,’’

‘’ — Cameron Scott or Jessica Jones as he usually likes to be called,’’ said the woman, raising her brow conversely. ‘’He is one of the few people who actually come in here anymore,’’ she added gloomily.

Charlie didn’t know what to think. That man was the first cross-dresser he had ever encountered in real life. He could not believe how convincing the guy looked as a woman. He wondered if he would look just as convincing. Anyway, he just wanted to take his order and get out of there.

‘’I’ve got your order out back in the main shop area,’’ said the woman. ‘’There is a lot of stuff in your order that is gonna cost you a fair bit of dough.’’

‘’I have money,’’ Charlie interjected.

The woman looked into Charlie’s eyes as if she was searching for something she found familiar or alluring. ‘’Okay then,’’ she said coyly, ‘’follow me.’’

Charlie followed the woman behind the counter and through the multi-coloured beaded curtains. They walked through a dank musty hallway with cardboard boxes stacked everywhere. He wished that he could cry out, ‘’I didn’t order any of this stuff! I’m being blackmailed and I’m not a cross-dresser!’’ but he couldn’t. He hated people thinking of him as something he was not and he felt sure that the young woman leading him ahead thought of him just another cross-dresser. He could never admit to himself that he could possibly be one was despite his obvious temptation to look at the woman’s rear end because he would love to try on her ruffled skirt.

‘’You know you don’t look like somebody who cross-dresses,’’ said the woman, unlocking a door.

‘’Well, what does a cross-dresser usually look like?’’ asked Charlie curiously.

‘’Usually old, manly, not usually sixteen years old,’’ said the woman teasingly.

‘’How did you know I was sixteen?’’ asked Charlie, trying to ignore the ‘manly’ comment.

The woman looked over her shoulder and smiled infectiously as she stopped at another locked door, ‘’I know now!’’.

The lock of the door clicked and she pushed the door open. As Charlie stepped through his lungs and skin were immediately welcomed by the cool rush of air conditioning and the sweet scent of perfumes and fresh clothes. The huge open room was very bright, clean and well kept in contrast to the dark hallways and reception area. Towering cases that housed halloween, fancy dress and ball costumes on their railings stood proud and tall. Others contained regular clothing and props.

‘’This doesn’t look like the other rooms!’’ said Charlie.

‘’Yeah a lot of these clothes need to keep in a well ventilated area to keep them in good condition,’’ smiled the woman, looking at Charlie. ‘’This is mainly a costume shop for adults but we provide for dressers like you too.’’

As Charlie looked up at the ceiling the woman stared at him silently. Then she looked down the floor, a stroke of inroverted nerves spreading across her face. ‘’I’m Prudence,’’ she said timidly.

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, not really paying much attention as his eyes basked over the wondrous storeroom.

‘’That’s my name, Prudence Svahnstrom,’’ smiled the woman, ‘’but you can call me Prue.’’

‘’Oh uh — well — I’m Steve. Err Steve Jacobs,’’ lied Charlie.

‘’I know,’’ laughed Prue coyly. ‘’But it’s nice to meet you Steve Jacobs.’’

Charlie nodded and repeated the name ‘’Prue’’ over in his head, feeling a little guilty for lying about his own name but he did not want this stranger to have any trace of who he was. Why would she want to introduce herself in the first place? Charlie felt certain that they would never see each other again so the introduction seemed rather pointless if not a little poignant. They both looked at each other, equally intrigued.

‘’Right, well, I’ll go get your stuff,’’ said Prue, breaking the shared stare. ‘’Do you want to come take a look?’’

‘’Ah — no thanks. I think I’ll just go with the stuff that I’ve ordered,’’ Charlie said, again, hating how he was being forced to lie.

‘’Oh, alright,’’ said Prue, sounding disappointed. ‘’You can wait here by the dressing rooms and I will be back in a minute.’’

He didn’t even get a chance to read what was on the list but some of the stuff he glanced at he had never even heard of in his life. He had no idea what to expect. Charlie looked around for somewhere to sit. He spotted a leather-bound shoe bench and sat down, his foot jumping on its heel nervously. He watched Prue walk into the aisles of the storeroom. He couldn’t help but feel a little attracted to the young woman, not in a sexual way, but in a charming acquaint. It was something about her voice. It was low yet delicate combined with the European accent. He tried to think of what country she could have been from, Sweden, Denmark, or The Netherlands. He wasn’t very good at analysing accents. His phone startled him as it began to vibrate. He quickly took it out to see a text from Dave, ‘’I am outside.’’.

Charlie scoffed and shoved the phone back into his jean pockets. He crossed his arms moodily and waited. He had to keep reminding himself how incredibly daft the state of his situation was. He could not help but think of what Rachel and Mary would think if they found him purchasing such items in the most peculiar of places. He guessed they would probably be a little disturbed and more horrifyingly, disappointed and ashamed.

He tried to block out the negative thoughts as concentrated on observing the curious shop from where he sat. His eyes trailed around the large storeroom from the bright modern lights hanging from the ceiling to the rows of clothing to the freakishly exaggerated manikins standing nearby. He spotted some strange metallic attire in the distance and a set of fake rubber penises. What kind of place is this? He wondered.

It was then that his thoughts drifted to his inner self. Prue deeming him a cross-dresser made him question how he got there in the first place. Ever since Dave caught him, he felt fearful of his secret being revealed to the world but he wondered why he took such an idiotic risk by going outside in the tennis uniform that night. He thought maybe, just maybe that his impulses were forcing him to take risks to make his desires seem more thrilling. And that was considered a cross-dressing attribute.

He was just beginning to delve deep into his conscience when Prue arrived back with a large basket in her arms. He broke out of his trance, unsure of how many minutes had passed.

‘’Well, I followed your sizes, measurements and brand type from the order and luckily we shipped in everything you requested,’’ said Prue, leaving the basket down beside Charlie.

Charlie forced his face into a warm thank-you-smile as he looked into the basket. Horror-struck, he picked up the first and most uncomfortable looking contraption he could see. He knew well what it was, but he did not like the thought of wearing it whatsoever. It was a corset clinch.

‘’This particular corset clinch will enhance your hourglass figure whilst being very comfortable at the same time,’’ said Prue, suddenly sounding like a proper salesperson. ‘’The outer panels are constructed with one hundred percent satin and reinforced with one hundred percent cotton lining for comfort and durability. This particular clinch will flatten the tummy and enhance the waist up to a four to six inch reduction.’’

‘’Uh-huh,’’ said Charlie, turning a sickly pale, dreading the thought of wearing such a constricting instrument.

‘’Are you okay?’’ asked Prue, looking at Charlie with concern.

‘’Yeah — yeah I’m fine,’’ said Charlie. ‘’Please, continue.’’

Prue did not look convinced but continued to talk him through the purchases as requested. Charlie did not even know why she was telling him all this information because he had apparently bought the stuff already however he did not stop her because she seemed to be enjoying herself. Prue took out the next item and held it up. It was a garment that looked like it encircled the lower torso and hips, a girdle.

‘’As you already know, this is no ordinary girdle,’’ said Prue. ‘’It’s a padded panty and girdle shaper in one. It instantly adds one inch to each hip and one inch to the rear to give a realistic feminizing shape. This was a great choice Steve because it is the most realistic one out there. You will be able to wear your tightest dress, skirt or pants with total confidence that there are no unattractive lumps.’’

She handed it to Charlie and he held it up eyelevel. Dave sure does want me to look like Rachel, the sicko! Charlie thought.

‘’These always freak me out,’’ said Prue, taking out a plastic box. She opened it as if it were a treasure chest, gleaming with shiny gold. Inside was a pair of false, but scarily realistic looking silicone breasts. ‘’These are 30 C sized silicone breasts you ordered. They come with the special adhesive if you wish to physically attach them to your chest. The lining around the ridges is barely noticeable. They look and freakishly feel like real skin. This particular pair is top quality and a very good buy I must say.’’

Charlie reached out and touched them with his fingers. The moment he felt the soft, realistic squishiness he immediately pulled his finger back.

‘’Freaky, right?’’ grinned Prue.

‘’Damn right!’’ stated Charlie, not taking his eyes off of the dark false nipples.

‘’Aaaaaaaand finally your last order, the high heels,’’ said Prue, reaching into the basket. She took out a pair of black, four-inch heels with tied up laces to the ankle. ‘’These are, of course, the rarer size for women. It must be frustrating for you to find the right sized heels because your just one size above the average female?’’

‘’Tell me about it,’’ said Charlie sarcastically.

There was a brief silence between them as Prue finished her presentation. Charlie had no idea what to say. He knew that he had to walk out of the shop wearing all of the stuff he was buying but he did not know how to say it to Prue. He felt ridiculous, silly, and even a little embarrassed. He did not even want to wear a corset!

‘’You don’t seem too happy?’’ said Prue. ‘’Is it not the stuff you ordered?’’

‘’No — no it’s not that,’’ said Charlie. He suddenly felt compelled to tell a complete stranger everything he felt at that moment. He did not know why but he couldn’t help but trust Prue. She seemed like the kind of woman who had seen much stranger things than a case of simple cross-dressing but to Charlie it was something much bigger, something he would never tell anyone. For some unknown reason, he felt like she would understand. He could see himself in her.

‘’Steve, are you okay?’’ asked Prue softly.

‘’Yeah — yeah I’m fine,’’ lied Charlie. ‘’Err — I’m supposed to — I mean — I want to leave here wearing my purchases, if that’s okay of course?’’

A slight smile flashed across Prue’s face, ‘’I guessed you were going to do that by the bag you had thrown over your shoulder.’’ she said. ‘’People do that here all the time but yes of course you can.’’

Charlie was astonished when he saw the number that popped up on the cash register. It was little under seven hundred for everything. He questioned himself on where Dave could have gotten that kind of money but more worryingly he wondered how he was ever going to pay back such a sum.

‘’You are gonna need a hand with that corset,’’ said Prue, as she lead Charlie back into the store.

‘’I think so,’’ said Charlie sombrely.

She led him to the dressing stalls at the other end of the storeroom. He tried to ignore the sexually orientated stock they sold on the shelves. Prue, who could sense Charlie’s obvious awkwardness, turned her head and giggled. Charlie found her laugh quite strange but very contagious. He could not help but smile.

As he stood inside the dressing room with Prue on the other side of the closed curtain, he felt a horrible case of tension dawn upon him. He had never dressed up with another person in the room, a stranger. Because he was so protective and secretive of his desires, he found it difficult to do it in front of somebody else.

‘’I’m on the other side of the curtain Steve. I can’t see you so don’t be nervous!’’ said Prue, as if she could hear his thoughts.

It was easier said than done. He took a deep breath as if he were about to plunge off a cliff into the ocean. He could feel his heart beating against the inside of his chest anxiously as he took off his red t-shirt. He threw it on the ground and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked at his rather slim frame, his scarce trail beneath his bellybutton and his thin arms. He looked into his face and told himself subconsciously not to be scared. He then unzipped his jeans and watched them fall to his ankles. Not taking his eyes off his reflection, he shivered as he let his boxer shorts fall down his legs too. He then kicked off his runners, and took off his socks.

He took a second deep breath as he listened to his pulse thump in his ear. His eyes hung lazily, his breath was heavy and paced as he unzipped the bag Dave had given him. Inside he found a makeup set, the beautiful brunette wig carelessly tossed in, a pair of black tights, a white bra with a lace trim and a ribbon in the centre with matching panties. He closed his eyes, trying to flush out all thought. He kept repeating ‘’I won’t be forced to do this once we move away’’ over and over in his head.

He threw the panties aside, deeming them useless now since he had the padded ones and girdle. As he grabbed the padded girdle, he kept thinking about going outside in daylight. He felt the need to prolong it as much as he could because the time was rapidly approaching. He suddenly realised that he had to hide his bulge if he was to go out in public so he spent the next few moments trying and failing to tuck his testicles up into the abdomen. Eventually he was successful so he tucked back his manhood and held it there with his hand until he stepped into the girdle and panties with difficulty. It was extremely tight which made it hard to pull up his legs. As soon as he positioned it around his rear, hips and lower torso the padded girdle felt snug and surprisingly comfortable. However, he hated the way his hidden privates felt. He looked at himself in the mirror, half shocked and disturbed by his curvy hips and false rear that stuck out girlishly now.

He shook his head and picked up the black tights, stepped inside them and pulled them up over his shins, knees, thighs, and finally resting them around his high waisted girdle. '’I won’t be forced to do this once we move away. I won’t be forced to do this once we move away. I won’t be forced to do this once we move away’’. Despite his situation, he still could not help but bask in the softness of the flimsy fabric of his favourite feminine clothing, tights.

He reluctantly picked up the silicone breasts and gently squeezed them, sending strange shivers and goose bumps all over his body. They felt so strange, so supple, yet so real. The nipple part made him feel slightly uneasy. He picked up the white bra and buckled it loosely around his chest, then placing the silicone breasts in the cups. There was no way that he was going to bond them to his chest by glue so he fastened the bra tight against his chest. He adjusted them carefully as he looked at them from different angles in the mirror. He sort of smiled as he thought about the oranges and water bags he once used. They felt strange against his chest. He did not know what it was like to have real breasts but he felt certain that this was the closest he would ever get. They jiggled, bounced, and moved with his body. The colour even matched his skin tone and blended perfectly against his chest. He gave a little hop on the spot in front of the mirror, watching them bounce but he stopped once he felt his private’s shift slightly out of place.

‘’Are you nearly done?’’ asked Prue.

‘’Just a minute,’’ said Charlie, startled, as he did not know Prue was still on the other side of the curtain.

He looked around the dressing cubicle floor for the corset clinch and spotted it under his male clothes. He took it out and placed it around his abdomen but did not go near the straps and buckles on the back. It was soft, coloured white and looked very modern. Usually the image he had of corsets in his mind were painful Victorian ones laced with constricting fasteners and straps that sucked the breath out of women’s lungs. However, he was unsure if the one he had bore the same effects.

He stood there, staring at himself in the mirror for a few minutes. He perceived himself as being some sort of a freak show. The female undergarments on a male body, his untouched head, and his expression said it all. He looked to the future, feeling a little positive. Once he gets out of Dave’s blackmail, he was not sure if he could dress up ever again because he was scared out of his mind when he did it now. He did not want to leave the cubicle to face Prue, the woman he had known for less than twenty minutes, whom he felt weird feelings of trust towards.

‘’Steve, are you okay? I cannot hear you in there?’’ said Prue, sounding worried.

‘’I — I’m fine Prue,’’ said Charlie, closing his eyes tightly.

You can do this, Charlie. You can do this. We will never see this woman again nor will we ever return to this place. You can do this, come on, be a man!

He turned to the curtain and opened it. Prue, who stood with her hands behind her head looked a little shocked which made Charlie feel humiliated. He could feel his cheeks turn scarlet as his entire body boiled over with embarrassment. Prue smiled as she walked up to Charlie, ‘’here, turn around,’’ she said tenderly.

He did as he was told and he turned his back on Prue so she could tighten the corset. At that moment it felt like a very real dream that he was actually experiencing. ‘’I look ridiculous,’’ said Charlie, half jokingly.

‘’Nah, you will look stunning once you’re all dressed up,’’ said Prue, beginning to tug at the fasteners.

Prue pulled the straps gently, with a frequent hard pull every few seconds. It was almost masterful the way she did it. Charlie was half expecting it to be one painful squeeze but he was pleasantly surprised. He could feel pressure amounting against his waist and tummy, clenching his abdomen inwards as the pressure formed an hourglass figure. He could still breathe but only in small temperate inhalations. Prue grunted as she gave the clinch one last tightening and Charlie gasped.

‘’There, all done!’’ said Prue. ‘’It wasn’t as bad as you expected now was it?’’

‘’You’re right, it wasn’t,’’ said Charlie, his voice cracking.

Prue kindly walked into Charlie’s dressing stall to gather his stuff. As he stood there, looking rather outlandish, his mortification decreased to awkwardness. He felt rather uncomfortable yet the fabrics of his soft garments embraced his skin securely. His manhood felt restricted as did his waist but as he started to take a few steps around the breezy, air-conditioned room, he realised that the corset clinch was not as bad as he had anticipated. However, he felt that it would probably soon begin to pain him over time.

Prue came out of the dressing stall with Charlie’s boy clothes packed into his bag. Draped over her left arm was the dress that Dave demanded Charlie to wear.

‘’Thanks,’’ said Charlie.

‘’No problem,’’ said Prue, looking rather enticed. ‘’Is this the dress you’re going to wear?’’

She held it up for Charlie to see. It was actually the first time he saw it but he had to act familiarized with it. It was dark navy pinafore dress with a high waisted skirt divided by a band from the square-necked tank top. The skirt was pleated and overlapped with another beneath it. Prue then held up the short sleeved, white starched blouse that was to be worn beneath it.

‘’Yeah, that’s the one,’’ said Charlie, nodding.

Prue threw the white blouse to him and he immediately began to put it on. It was the smallest blouse he had ever worn, it was soft, it was snug, and the sleeves were very short and slightly puffed. He closed it up as far as the second last top button.

‘’Here, let me help you with the dress,’’ said Prue, walking up to Charlie.

She stood in front of him and gazed into his eyes as she lifted the pinafore over his head. He wished that he did not have to dress up in front of a girl like Prue. It made him feel and look weak, feeble, and unmanly. However, Prue did not seem to mind, which made a small part of him feel at ease. She pulled the dress down over his chest and rested the straps around his shoulders. She then told him to turn and she zipped up the dress. As always, despite everything, that sharp sound of the zipper always gave Charlie the chills.

‘’Wow your body looks amazingly convincing!’’ said Prue. ‘’Although the dress doesn’t fit my style I have to say that it looks great on you!’’

Charlie looked down at his body, shocked as to how feminine his body looked. He had curves, he had hips, an attractive bosom and a fantastic rear that was perfectly shaped and sized to his girlish outfit. If he hadn’t been in such a desperate situation with Dave he would be happier with what he saw but he feared the more he looked like a Rachel, the more he would try and come on to him. Even the dress was similar to one Rachel had.

‘’I can do your makeup if you want?’’ said Prue, looking a little expectant.

Charlie could not help but wonder why Prue wanted to help him so much, after all, they had just met. She looked a little hopeful that he would say yes, yet, she had a look of perceptiveness on her face, as though she knew more about Charlie’s true self than she let on. ‘’Yeah sure,’’ he said.

A few moments later, Charlie was sitting on a bench beside a makeup station. Prue had insisted that he should not look at his entire reflection until she was finished with his makeup. The inner netting of the wig had flattened his shaggy hair, which was yet to be placed on his head.

Prue sat opposite him, with her legs crossed in a meditation-like fixture. She looked into Charlie’s eyes as she gently applied the foundation with a small sponge. Her eyes were vibrant blue, bright yet sad at the same time. From what Charlie could decipher, her eyes looked as if they had seen some horrible things but he was just being speculative. At first, he felt uncomfortable and awkward but there was something about her eyes, which made him feel as though everything was going to be okay.

He was close to her face so Charlie could see things he had not seen earlier. He tried to guess her age, which he perceived as being around twenty-three. He noticed dark sags pervading through her eye shadow which suggested she got very little sleep. He also noticed that her nose had a very slight bump on the front with a small silver, studded piercing in the corner of her nostril. She gave of a mixed scent of blue berries and smoke. Her teal coloured lipstick was flawless, as were her lashes and complexion. The strap of her vest slipped sideways to reveal a scar and the upper section of a tattoo pervading from her shoulder blade. She quickly covered it up, looking vaguely alarmed.

‘’May I be so bold to ask a personal enquiry?’’ said Prue in a witty, posh tone as she quickly brought up a subject to distract Charlie from the scar.

‘’I guess so,’’ said Charlie, closing his eyes as she rubbed the sponge near his eyes. ‘’But only if I get to ask you one question!’’

Charlie could sense Prue’s beaming smile which, surprisingly made him do the same.

‘’Why did you come here today?’’ she asked, sounding a little staid.

‘’What do you mean?’’ Charlie asked, beginning to feel perturbed.

‘’I mean, no sixteen year old boys ever come in here asking to buy corsets and girdles. So what I’m wondering is, why start off so big? You’re just sixteen and you’re going outside in broad daylight cross-dressing.’’

Charlie hated the question. He suddenly had an urge to get up, and leave without saying anything. He did not even know the woman and she was asking him a very personal question but he allowed it so he controlled himself.

‘’It’s okay,’’ said Prue, sensing his anxiousness. ‘’I apologise. You don’t have to answer.’’

They shared a few moments silence as Prue carefully applied jet-black mascara to his lashes. This took a few minutes for her to perfect because he kept fidgeting but once successful they looked very nice. Charlie could sense the embarrassment from Prue’s face. She knew she had gone too far by asking such an upfront question, which now left Charlie feeling bad for not answering it. However, he felt that could not answer it. He had no idea what to say. Prue began adding some extra touches the the eyeliner before taking out vibrant red lipstick from ‘’Charlie’s’’ makeup bag. This was the first time he had ever worn lipstick.

‘’I like dressing up because it allows me to escape from me,’’ exclaimed Charlie.

Prue’s hand immediately froze in the middle of applying the lipstick. She withdrew and looked into Charlie’s eyes, smiling, almost like a proud mother.

Charlie had no idea what he had just said. He just sat there, dumbfounded at what he had accidently blurted out. He did not know whether what he said was true or not but it felt organic to him, as though it were the truth. ‘’I also like the clothes. I dunno why. I just do,’’ he added, looking away from Prue.

They said no more to each other for the next few minutes as Prue attached false nails to the tips of his fingers. He wondered how he would get them off before going home that evening but then he remembered seeing Rachel soak her fingers in a cup of nail polish remover once. Once that was done she started to paint the sharp, pointed nails with fire vibrant red polish. To Charlie’s great surprise, the feeling of being manicured was rather relaxing.

‘’I used to cross-dress way before I was sixteen,’’ said Prue casually.

Charlie frowned at Prue’s perplexing statement as brow arched with confusion. ‘’You used to dress in boys clothes? Well that’s not usually considered as strange as a boy wearing girl clothing.’’

‘’No you don’t understand,’’ said Prue, her face becoming serious. ‘’I wasn’t always like this.’’

Charlie had an idea of what she was implying but he was afraid to say it aloud in case he was wrong. ‘’You — you don’t mean that — that you -,’’

‘’- I used to be a boy, yes,’’ said Prue, smiling as her eyes concentrated back on Charlie’s nails.

Charlie, completely gobsmacked suddenly felt weak. Never in his life had he encountered a post-op woman. Now he could not take his eyes off her revealing breasts, knowing that they were the result of an intake of hormones! He was shocked at how open Prue was to a total stranger and how astounding she looked. He could have never guessed that she used to be a boy and that both disturbed him and made him feel a little shy of her.

‘’I would have never thought — wow! I mean — wow!’’ said Charlie, his eyes gaping with disbelief.

Prue laughed and said, ‘’I don’t usually tell too many people but when I do I always get that reaction!’’

A few minutes later, Charlie was standing in front of the full-length mirror, gasping at how much he looked like a girl. He nearly fainted when he saw his body, which was unrecognisable. His wide, girly hips, which fitted inside the skirt of his dress perfectly, reeked of femininity. His bosom, which looked and felt authentic, jiggled and bounced realistically whenever he moved quickly. His long, soft brunette hair hung down over his shoulders and back shone against the light of the room. His makeup was flawless and much better than any attempt he had ever made. His high heels gave him an extra four inches of elegant height whilst making his black tighted legs look longer and slenderer.

‘’You look more convincing and girlish than most women!’’ stated Prue who stood by his shoulder.

Charlie could not help but feel incredibly strange because he felt as if he had just stepped into his sister’s body. Even the dress was similar to one she had. Then, his delight was brought back down to reality as he remembered why he looked the way he did, for the pleasure of Dave.

‘’Here,’’ said Prue, placing a round, silver pendant around Charlie’s neck which hung down beneath his breasts. ‘’It’s only a cheap thing but seeing as you have been such a good customer to us, well, you deserve it!’’

Charlie walked with Prue away from the dressing area with the purse Dave had put the bag hanging from the crook of his arm. He put his phone and money inside. He carried the bag with all of his boy clothes and such on his back. The ability to walk in heels had quickly returned to him after the day he tried on his mother’s ankle boots. The sound of them clicking against the tiles made him feel like a true woman, as did the subtle sensation of his silicone breasts and long smooth hair. The corset clinch made him stand upright and forced him to walk in the lady stroll which he had practised long ago. It also made him savour his breaths.

‘’You’re pretty good at walking in heels,’’ said Prue, as they ventured through the dark crowed hallway.

‘’I’ve practised before,’’ said Charlie, smiling.

As they walked, he could not take his eye off Prue. The girl who had intrigued him from the moment he set eyes on her had paid off and he had only known her for just under an hour! He was fascinated by her and how open and friendly she was despite her moody, gothic tone of appearance. He wondered if she treated all customers the same way but somehow he thought not. The way she looked at him, the way she stared into his eyes and the way she was so helpful in giving him confidence made Charlie feel as if he had made a new friend. He never could have guessed that she used to be a boy. The only thing her transgender-ism could have explained was her lower voice and even that was not a great giveaway.

As Charlie and Prue entered the reception area where Pricilla, the frightening old woman with the jet-black hair sat, he began to feel nervous again. He was about to step outside, in daylight, dressed as a girl. He once thought it to be a big risk but since he saw his reflection he felt he was extremely convincing. He figured that it wasn’t going outside that scared him but Dave.

The old woman sneered at Charlie as Prue brought him to the door. Charlie gave a deep breath, feeling his knees beginning to shake.

‘’Hey, are you alright?’’ asked Prue worriedly.

‘’I’m fine — I — I always get a little nervous when I go outside dressed up,’’ lied Charlie.

‘’Do you want me to walk out with you?’’ asked Prue.

Charlie nodded stiffly and Prue opened the door to the wide-open world. Light poured into the reception area as the two walked out onto the entrance steps. Fresh air filled their lungs as the warm breeze of the underpass caressed their skin.

‘’Is that your ride?’’ asked Prue, squinting.

Charlie looked down the steps to see Dave’s Ford Fiesta parked right up beside the path. He got out of the car, expecting Charlie to alone but shocked to see Prue standing next to him. He was wearing sunglasses and looked gobsmacked when he laid eyes on Charlie.

‘’Yeah, that’s my ride,’’ said Charlie, sombrely being brought back to his miserable reality.

‘’Okay, well — make sure you come back to us again,’’ said Prue, glaring at Dave with great uncertainty.

‘’I will,’’ said Charlie, genuinely meaning his word.

Prue gave a thin smile and turned back into the shop.

‘’Prudence, wait!’’ Charlie cut in. ‘’I never got to ask you my question!’’

Prue stopped, turned and her face lit up. ‘’Go ahead Steve!’’

‘’Why did you want to be a girl?’’ he asked curiously.

Prue smiled meekly and bit her lower lip as she briefly looked down at the ground. ‘’I was always a girl, Steve. I just needed to escape from who I was,’’ she said.

Her reason immediately struck a chord within Charlie as it resonated with his own purposes for cross-dressing. He did not know whether she intended this but she seemed to truly mean it with from the bottom of her heart. He smiled back at her and produced his hand for a shake, ‘’I’m Charlie by the way, Charlie Smith,’’ he said.

She took his hand and shook it, saying, ‘’I knew you weren’t called Steve. You didn’t look like one!’’

‘’Thanks again,’’ said Charlie, turning and carefully walking down the steps towards Dave’s car.

Prue watched him get into the car from the top of the steps. Dave, who was still standing outside of his car, stared at Prue maliciously. She returned the gesture, glaring intently with apprehension before watching him get inside the car, and driving off with Charlie as the forced passenger.

SUMMARY: This episode takes place directly after the events of the previous as it follows Charlie’s journey into the open world, fully dressed up and ready to feign girlhood. However, his simple forced ‘’shopping date’’ with the sinister blackmailer, Dave O’Donnell will remind Charlie of a long lost facet of his being and ultimately make him question who and what he is.

Prue watched him get into the car from the top of the steps. Dave, who was still standing outside of his car, stared at Prue maliciously. She returned the gesture, glaring intently with apprehension before watching him swing into the car.

Dave was quieter than usual as he settled himself at the wheel. He looked unnerved, doubtful, and even a little irritated. He turned the key in the ignition and the engine revved up like a vicious bear. He took one last look at the gothic woman, standing atop of the stores entrance steps before driving off.

Charlie, who sat in the passenger seat, looked into the wing mirror at Prue, who watched the car leave until she could no longer see it. He then turned to Dave, expecting to receive some compliments and gestures on how pretty or beautiful he looked…not that he wanted them. Instead, he said nothing but a cold silence.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Charlie asked, knowing to speak with his top Rachel impression.

‘’I’m fine, babe,’’ Dave replied, forcing a thin smile.

Charlie wished he had not acted like he cared because Dave could possibly take it as a small act of affection. He placed his left hand midway up Charlie’s thigh, just under the hemline of the pinafore skirt whilst his right gripped the steering wheel.

A tingling jolt shot right through Charlie’s body the moment Dave touched his self-considered sensitive, private area. He could feel his underarms moistening under the sudden tension as his body boiled over with anxiety. He did not know what to do but apprehensively place his own manicured hand on Dave’s so as to keep him from lashing out at him.

For the rest of the journey into the city centre, Charlie felt as if he were sitting in a car whilst it was in the process of being crushed, the pressure building up, the lack of air, the claustrophobia, and the absolute panic of everything closing in around him. The hand on his thigh, which purposely moved upwards along with each bump in the road made him feel breathless.

When they arrived at the shopping centre car park, Dave finally took his hand away after numerous attempts to creep further up Charlie’s skirt. As he backed into a parking space, Charlie opened his purse and took out his mobile makeup kit to make a see if everything was perfect.

Dave smiled because he thought that Charlie was slipping further into his role as the girly girlfriend. However, the truth was that Charlie wanted to make sure that his boy self was well masked and hidden beneath the layers of makeup, the pretty outfit, and the false façade he wore to disguise himself. He could only hope that nobody he knew was inside the shopping centre.

‘’Are you ready?’’ Dave asked, taking off his seatbelt.

‘’Just a minute,’’ said Charlie, brushing his cheeks with extra blusher.

A few moments later, the ‘’couple’’ walked across the vast sea of parked cars towards the massive retail complex, together, hand in hand as everything was perfectly fine. Charlie nearly pulled away defensively when Dave reached for his hand but he reluctantly gave it to him. ‘’Just three more months! Just three more months! Just three more months!’’ Charlie chanted repeatedly in his head. He found himself out of breath before they even reached the entrance because of the corset clinching his waist beneath his dress. His privates also felt uncomfortably restricted within the padded girdle but he brushed it off, knowing that if he made a fuss, Dave would not be pleased.

‘’Come on, let us get you some real nice clothes,’’ smiled Dave, taking his hand once again, leading him into the mall. ‘’We’re gonna have a great day!’’

Charlie had always dreaded the thought of going outside dressed up, but now that he was actually doing it, he was nowhere near as anxious or terrified as he had anticipated. He felt an odd sense of buoyancy after Prue said, ‘’You (Charlie) look more convincing and girlish than most women!’’. So confidence was no longer an issue. However, his slight fear of being caught by someone will always, and shall remain present. The sense of paranoia, the feeling that everyone around him somehow knew who he was and the boiling, restricting fear of being beneath Dave’s thumb.

The echoed rush of massive air conditioning vents greeted Charlie’s anxious, overheated body as they walked through the automatic doors. The cool breeze rose from the vents beneath and surged in under his skirt, forcing him to pad it down with his left hand. The clicking of his heels against the white tiled floor combined with the swaying of his hips created a realistic, not overtly feminine performance. He could feel his right hand beginning to sweat inside Dave’s firm grip.

The shopping mall was vast and expanded as far as the eye could see. It was modern, brightly lit with people of all ages coming and going. There were signs, directing people to different sections of the mass complex, the food court, fashion, retail shopping, and supermarkets. Escalators, which brought people up to the second and third floors, were straight ahead, in the centre of the ground floor and it was packed with people.

Even though Dave was gripping Charlie’s hand firmly, he still seemed to give him control over where he wanted to go which felt rather strange. They let the escalators take them up to the second floor where all of the clothes shops, boutiques, designer wear, budget wear, shoe wear, salons, beauticians, and pharmacies were. Charlie constantly had his eyes on every person he saw within range to see if they winced when they looked at him, to search for any kind of reaction, a quick stare, an expression of disgust, disbelief, or disturbance. However, everything was just normal, if you could call his situation that.

As soon as they got off the escalator, Dave let go of Charlie’s hand. ‘’I’m going to take a look around the men’s shops,’’ said Dave, smiling. ‘’Text me whenever you’re done.’’

Charlie wondered if he had just imagined what Dave said. Was he hearing things or was he just going plain crazy? ‘’W-wha -,’’ he said in disbelief, ‘’You’re not coming with me?’’

‘’Now why would I want to go around a bunch of girls shops?’’ joked Dave, moving in close to Charlie. ‘’Unless you want me to?’’. Dave placed his hands on Charlie’s waist, right below the band of the high waist skirt and looked deeply into his eyes.

‘’N-No -,’’ stuttered Charlie, not sure if he was negatively responding to Dave’s question or extremely intimate gesture. ‘’I - I just thought you’d want to keep an eye on — um, never mind.’’

Dave kissed him on the cheek. It was brief, ‘’Go enjoy yourself, babe’’, and then he turned away towards the men’s shops, smiling.

Charlie was left standing there, completely astounded by the kiss. His brain seemed to have frozen, shut down, and leaving only the shell of his body to remain as stiff as a statue. ‘’Did that just happen?’’ he asked himself. He swallowed and broke free of his frightened, amazed state of mind and turned around, not exactly sure where he was going. He felt a strange surge of panic arise within him but his outer self remained unusually calm. His pupils dilated as his pulse pounded irregularly. He felt certain that he was about to faint.

It was only on the cheek!

He walked towards a clothes shop called ‘‘Primark’’, a shop he knew many girls, including his sister, often went to because of its cheap, affordable yet fashionable clothing. He tried to repress the tiny kiss into the back of his mind, crushing it up like a ball but felt unable to do so. The entire thought of it made him want to punch a wall because Dave knowingly made him feel incredibly insecure about his sexuality. This was going a bit too far. Charlie thought. However, it could have been worse. It could have been on the lips!

Charlie looked over his shoulder to see that Dave was out of sight. He then looked ahead, at the shop he was about to enter. It was huge and took up almost half of the shopping floor. The rest of the retailers were smaller, more designer orientated stores. He placed his hand on his stomach, focusing carefully on his breathing as he ventured forward.

He felt strange, out of place and unnatural because he was going inside alone. A girl of his age would usually have at least one friend with her whilst she shopped, somebody to give an opinion, someone to try on clothes with her, someone to enjoy the whole experience with, someone like Prudence Svahnstrom. For a woman he had only met that morning, he felt strangely attracted to her.

He walked through the shop entrance, trying to look and seem as feminine as possible as a group of girls around his age walked towards him. He almost his lost balance as his left heel pushed out sideways. Hot flushes of embarrassment exploded all over his body as he straightened himself up. He could hear the group of girls that had just walked by him giggling in the distance. He wasn’t even sure if they had noticed but now he felt even more paranoid.

He walked into the shop, swaying his hips and carrying his purse on the crook of his arm. He continued to watch everyone, feeling as if every single person somehow knew he was just a boy in a dress. He wished he had someone with him to make him feel that little less insecure. He felt so desperate that even Dave would even suffice.

The store was huge, vast and loaded with clothing. There were three levels. The ground floor was women’s wear, the first level was men’s wear and lingerie, and the top floor was children’s, household, and makeup. This was the stuff he used to dream about, to be able to go into a store and buy girly things without being looked at strangely but he wished for an accomplice more than anything.

As he moved through the aisles, letting his hand run free through the railings of clothes, he felt that he had just entered a pleasurable dream. His eyes looked around at every item of clothing he could see, skirts, blouses, dresses, packets of tights, socks, shoes, heels, sweaters, camisoles, pyjamas and tank-tops. He wanted to savour the moment as he once did in his sister’s bedroom. He flushed out everything, fear, Dave, paranoia and the women that surrounded him.

He looked over the railings to see other girls browsing as he was. He took a deep breath and felt confident that he was not going to be detected. He immediately fell into girl mode as he started to shop casually. He placed dresses up against his body and looked at his body from different angles in the full-length mirror. Each time he caught a glimpse of his reflection he felt that he could not take his eye off the Rachel clone before him.

Within the space of fifteen minutes, he had a basket with a few items already thrown inside. One being a pair of black high waisted sailor shorts with a six-button combination on the front. He had no idea why he was buying it because if he were to wear them, he would have to wax or shave his leg hair, which was hidden beneath his tights. Another item in the basket was a retro, 1950’s styled cream coloured dress with an orange polka dot pattern. It had a large black, round scooped collar with a four-button line in the centre of the bodice down to the waistband of the skirt. He liked it because of its old, feminine charm that seemed to be lost in modern fashions.

As he shopped, his long brunette wig was beginning to irritate him because every time he bent over, which was difficult due to his waist clinch, he had to swish his hair back out of his mouth. Everything he touched felt odd because of the long, sharp nails glued on. His heels forced him to take careful, tiny steps. His bosom and rear shapers made everything seem so bouncy and even a little stirring. Nevertheless, the most uncomfortable thing for Charlie was his privates which were restricted within his own body.

Over an hour later, he was in the queue for the women’s dressing rooms. He stood anxiously, with a series of outfits draped over his crooked arm and a basket full in the other. His eyes stung with nervous tears of tiredness. He felt as if he were in the line for an over twenty-ones nightclub. Every few moments, he looked up ahead to see the clerk hand each woman, girl and lady a tag for their assigned stall. For some reason, he feared that the clerk was some sort of robot that could scan gender with the blink of an eye.

As the line shrunk, Charlie rapidly became the first in line. The lady at the cashier smiled as she handed him his tag, ‘’Busy shopping day?’’ she said conversely, eyeing the pile of clothes in Charlie’s arms.

Charlie forced a friendly smile, moved past the woman, entered the dressing rooms, and quickly went to his stall. He closed the curtain with relief and left the pile of clothes on the bench. The dressing stall was much larger than any one he had been in before. He could only guess that women had more luxury as appearance was important for some.

He unzipped his pinafore dress and watched it fall and crumple around his feet. He then unbuttoned the blouse and threw it aside. He looked at his body, his clinched waist, his silicone breasts so well hidden within his bra, his artificial hips, rear, and his smooth, soft long hair. Despite this, he again realised how much he saw of Rachel.

Within moments, he was posing in front of the mirror, pressing his rear out in a tight pair of high waisted skinny jeans with a thin, transparent blouse tucked inside. On his feet, he wore a pair of black pumps, so sharply feminine that it made his legs look elegantly beautiful. The skinny jeans hugged every inch of his rear, thighs and shins so comfortably snug that he had to push his manhood back further. He knew straight away that the outfit would be a definite buy.

He was completely lost in the moment as he flushed away all thoughts of blackmail, paranoia, and fear to bask in a dream he never thought would come true. He posed in front of the mirror in various items of clothing all the way from skirts to scarves. Another outfit he enjoyed trying on was a loose baby blue coloured skirt made with delicate polyester. It was accompanied with a white, puff-sleeved blouse with a large collar with black trimming, tucked tightly into the skirt with a black belt, white tube socks, and a pair of red high heels with a black handbag. It was another definite buy.

He even tried on the sailor shorts but was freaked out when he saw his legs beneath the tights. He was tempted to get them shaved or waxed but he feared somebody would eventually see his legs bare and hairless. However, he decided that he would buy them nonetheless.

He also tried on a nice, smart outfit that consisted of a thin, maroon, scooped-necked sweater with a white round collared blouse beneath and a matching plaid skirt, tights and slip on shoes.

These were only a handful of the clothes he tried on. He modelled himself in party dresses, skirts, skinny jeans, heels, t-shirts, ponchos, and even some mini-skirts. He loved every moment and felt as if he could spend all day shopping, even if he was not going to buy too much stuff. Even though Dave had given him a lot of money, he knew that someday he would have to pay him back. However, his compulsive nature forced him to keep going and not look back.

He soon got back into his dress, tights, and heels before leaving the dressing room with the pile of clothes in tow. He walked up to the cashier, deciding that he was going to buy it all. He had no idea why he was doing it because the only chance he would get to wear them would be with Dave. The thought made him quiver.

When he was done at the checkout, he had two bags in each hand, filled with all sorts of feminine garbs. Everything cost him over two hundred but he didn’t care, he knew he would be able to pay Dave back after two weeks of work at the restaurant. As he walked towards the exit, he saw yet another dress that he would love to wear. He tried to keep walking but he couldn’t help himself.

‘’Just a look,’’ he muttered to himself, smiling.

It was a nice black party dress with white polka dots. It was short, sleeveless, and strapless, starting from the breasts and lengthening only past his hip. It also had a nice bow around the waistband. He knew he would never get away with wearing such a revealing dress, as it would show off his shaping undergarments. He picked it up and placed it against his body, looking into the mirror beside the rails of clothes.

Suddenly, a certain piece of clothing he saw behind his reflection caught his attention. He put the dress back and turned, looking at the pink/black plaid coloured skirt, which seemed to stand out in the distance. He felt something click inside his brain, as if he had come across the skirt before. He floated towards it, intrigued by its mystery as he felt a rush of déjá  vu dawn upon him.

Charlie is crawling through the land of clothing on a mystical quest into the unknown world of soft materials to rescue the damsel in distress. His eyes are bright and shiny like two lamplights as he crawls towards the light. The fresh smell from the clothes made him happy. He then jumped out of the railings, frightening a woman who was walking by with her young son.

‘’Ahhh,’’ she yelped. ‘’Oh my, you scared me, little boy!’’

Charlie looked up at the tall woman coyly and then broke into a swift sprint down the aisle and around a corner towards the girls section. There, his grandmother, Breege was down on one knee, trying to fix Rachel’s collar. ‘’Hold still, dear!’’ she said, sounding vaguely annoyed.

‘’I don’t like this jumper, Nana!’’ cried Rachel.

‘’Now, now,’’ said Breege, waving her finger warningly, ‘’you don’t want me to tell your Mummy and Daddy that you’ve been a naughty little girl today, hmm?’’

‘’N-No,’’ said Rachel, sniffing back her tears.

‘’That’s a good girl,’’ smiled Breege. ‘’Now if you both continue to be good, I will take you and your brother to McDonalds, how does that sound?’’. Rachel’s face immediately lit up like a warm sun and she let her grandmother fix her new clothes without hesitation. ‘’As a matter of fact, where is your brother?’’ she said, looking around herself worriedly. ‘’Charlie?’’ she called out. ‘’Charlie, where are you?’’.

He continued his adventure but this time he was in the girls department, crawling his way through the rows of clothing. It was then that he saw a black and pink plaid skirt on the ground before him. It had had fallen off its hanger, destined to spend a life alone and forgotten. He stopped and froze, feeling a little strange. Looking at it made his insides feel fuzzy, ticklish, and warm. He felt attracted to it somehow so he immediately picked it up, giggling as he did so.

‘’Charlie, where are you?’’ called his grandmother. She walked up and down the children’s department, anxiously calling out Charlie’s name repeatedly. She was just about to call security when her grandson jumped out at her with the pink skirt around his waist. ‘’Oh thank heavens!’’ gasped Breege, clasping her hand to her chest with relief. ‘’I thought I’d lost you I — dearest? What on earth are you wearing?’’.

Charlie didn’t respond, instead he looked down at his feet, shyly curling his toe because he felt he was in trouble.

‘’Come on, dear. Where did you leave your pants?’’ said Breege, sighing as she gripped her grandsons hand. ‘’Skirts are not for boys, Charlie!’’

As he looked down at the skirt, he could not help but feel a little sad. His grandmothers voice echoed at the back of his mind repeatedly, ‘’Skirts are not for boys, Charlie!’’. How was it that he had forgotten such a surreal yet should-be memorable moment in his life? He was just four years old and that was it. He did not want to think of the possibilities, not a chance, not ever. His desires to crossdress only came to be when he was a teenager —

‘’Hey, babe!’’ said Dave’s sudden voice into his ear.

Charlie jumped, feeling as though his heart had just crawled up his throat with fright. ‘’Jesus, you scared me?’’ said Charlie, accidently speaking in his regular voice. Dave’s face stiffened as he looked around. Thankfully, nobody had heard him speak.

Dave ‘’generously’’ carried Charlie’s shopping bags as they walked towards the food court. Charlie never felt like eating when he was with Dave due to nerves, apprehensive feelings, and fear. The constant gurgle in his stomach when he was around him made him feel frailer, weaker, and fragile. He could not stop thinking about the long lost memory that had returned to him. He felt both stunned and surprised as he sensed that his cross-dressing desires could have manifested from a young age.

Nah, it is just curiosity! Sure what else could it be? It is just a bit of fun that’s all!

However, Charlie was not exactly having a lot of fun being blackmailed. They sat together in a café, Charlie eating a light salad meal and water whilst Dave had a plate of fish, chips, and a pint of coke. He scowled Dave for ordering such a feminine-diet-like meal. As if all girls are constantly on diets. Charlie thought.

When they were done eating, they walked around the shopping mall for no particular reason. Charlie hoped that they would be leaving soon because his feet and waist were beginning to hurt him. However, he was thankful that Dave was carrying his shopping bags because this kept them from holding hands. The time finally came for them to leave which was around four o’clock in the afternoon.

The ground floor was literally black with people. Charlie and Dave had to be patient and carefully squeeze their way through the bustling shoppers. As they moved through the sea of people, Charlie continued to search faces for any signs but there was nil.

Then, to his complete horror, he saw Sean walking straight towards him. His face literally turned as white as snow, his brain froze like ice, and his entire body became a frenzy of repressed terror, ready to explode. Sean was looking straight at him but his face remained casual.

OH. MY. GOD. THIS. DAY. IS. A. NIGHTMARE.

‘’You okay, babe?’’ asked Dave concernedly.

Charlie could not move. He could see Sean rapidly approaching when suddenly a red haired girl joined him, hand-in-hand, Julie. It felt unreal, out of this world as though everything was suspended in a horrible slow trance of pain and suffering, ‘’J-Julie?’’ he whispered.

‘’Come on, you’re worrying me now,’’ said Dave, moving in closer.

Charlie broke out of his trance, unleashing the cold waves of panic upon his mind. He reacted quickly by grabbing Dave’s hand and pulling him into to the nearest shop to his right. He did not notice that it was a cinema until he seen the movie posters on the wall.

‘’Hey, where are you going?’’ shouted Dave.

‘’Cinema!’’ Charlie blurted out, his eyes wide with panic as he opened the heavy entrance door. ‘’I want to go to see a movie. Come on, Dave!’’ he said, trying to look convincingly flirtatious so he could lure Dave inside. ‘’It’ll be fun! I haven’t been to the movies in ages!’’.

Dave looked suspicious and taken aback by Charlie’s sudden wild behaviour. ‘’Rachel, I’m not sure — I mean it’s the middle of the day and -,’’

Charlie quickly pulled Dave into a brief, desperate kiss as a form of persuasion. It was warm, soft, and gentle. He had no idea what he had just done until he pulled away, terrified and ashamed but relieved when he saw Sean and Julie walk by them without taking the slightest but of notice. Charlie walked back out into the mall and watched them disappear into the crowds. He could feel his heart moan like a pitiful creature as he watched his best friend and crush walk with their arms around each other.

‘’Wow!’’ gasped Dave, beaming from ear to ear. ‘’What did I do to deserve that?’’

Charlie wasn’t really listening as his eyes were fixed on the part of the crowd where he last saw them. He felt like a cursed watcher, unable to do anything, unable to intervene and unable to cry out for help. ‘’Julie?’’ he whispered again. He let his head hang with disappointment, feeling his heart wrench as a strong emotions churned within. His adrenaline vanished and his heart stopped racing with panic. He felt tired and out of breath.

When Charlie turned his head face Dave, he quickly noticed the unnerving crazed look in his eyes that sinisterly said, ‘’mine!’’. He quickly realised that his improvised diversion had landed him into a scarier and more dangerous place than running Sean or Julie.

Oh no, what have I done?

‘’So what will we go see?’’ smiled Dave.

‘’Oh — uh -,’’ stuttered Charlie, as he racked his brains desperately for an excuse. ‘’I don’t think I want to go to the cinema anymore,’’ he said sorrowfully.

Dave did not look convinced as he searched Charlie for an answer. ‘’That’s odd because about twenty seconds ago you were practically pulling me inside. What’s changed?’’

‘’I — I’m not sure — I’m just — I’m just tired,’’ lied Charlie, beating himself up inside for being such an idiot.

‘’What better way to relax than seeing a movie?’’ said Dave, opening the door for Charlie. ‘’Come on, you have me all hyped up now!’’

Charlie looked at the open door apprehensively. He felt that if he stepped inside that danger would enthral. The last few moments had confused him greatly. One second he was walking casually through the shopping centre, he saw his best friend betray him, he panicked and hid himself behind the shared kiss with Dave. He knew he had just opened a new door for Dave, a door into a place where he could do whatever he wanted, a door that Charlie had feared since the beginning of his blackmail. He walked inside, feeling the strong stench of defeat, knowing that in the very same building his friend was probably kissing the girl he loved.

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the back of the theatre in the couples seating area. There were little people in the theatre as it was only four o’clock in the afternoon. A group of annoying giggling teenage girls, an older couple and one creepy old man sat scattered around the dark room.

Charlie tried to steer his mind away from Dave’s physical closeness by concentrating on the trailers and advertisements reeling by on the screen but his mind dwelled on Sean, that bastard. How could he stab him in the back like that, especially when he knew Charlie’s feelings towards Julie for years? He was beginning to feel careless about the uncomfortable weight of Dave’s strong right arm draped over his shoulder because he had a much larger problem. The combination of the day’s events created a horrible beast within him. The flashback, the betrayal, and the kiss made him want to die on the spot.

Inside his mind, he cursed himself repeatedly. The more the actions of the kiss sunk in, the more his feelings of regret and fear strengthened. He tried to wonder why he did just a stupid, pointless thing that would do nothing but bring about terror and repent for him. He knew he could have found a better method of hiding himself from his friends — no — from the people he knew if he had just briefly thought it through. However, he did not have the time. He was a few metres away from being caught so improvisation had to be done. He wanted to quickly move on and deal with the much bigger problem sitting next to him but he couldn’t, not after the kiss, not after seeing Julie’s hand in Sean’s.

The lights dimmed down, the audience stopped whispering, the reel was changed on the projector, and the movie began. Charlie knew right away that he hated the film because it looked like one his mother and sister would watch on a Saturday night in front of the television, a cheesy, overly emotional, romantic comedy with schmaltzy music. He felt like an idiot, not only because of his hidden embarrassment, but also because of his girlish disguise. He felt even more stupid knowing that he was trapped with Dave whilst everyone else carried on with their lives normally. He felt left behind. The longer Dave kept his arm around him, the more his clothes and corset seemed to tighten against his skin. He felt almost feverish. He had to get out of there and fast.

‘’I’ve got to go to the bathroom,’’ said Charlie, getting up.

‘’But, the movies just started?’’ said Dave, whispering as loud as he could.

‘’I really have to go. I won’t be a minute, darling,’’ said Charlie.

He walked up the dark centre aisle, with his purse in hand, cursing himself for calling Dave ‘’darling’’ as it certainly was not an expression a teenage girl would address her boyfriend as. The moment he left the room, he felt himself falling down from the tension he felt inside the theatre. He could hear a strange ringing in the inside of his ear as he approached the restrooms, feeling a little confused and hesitant as he came to the male/female junction. He entered the female restrooms, not feeling intruding in the slightest.

He entered a stall, closed down the toilet seat, and sat, knees together and back straight. He wished he could loosen his corset as it was beginning to irritate him but he was afraid he wouldn’t know how to tighten it again. He took several deep anxious breaths. He was scared because he did not wish to tarnish his sexuality. He knew very well that Dave would try to come on to him at some point during the film and when the moment did arrive; Charlie knew he had only one choice, to play along.

Sean + Julie. Sean + Julie. Sean + Julie.

He buried his face in his hands, exhaling deeply into his palms. He felt a horrible sickness as his stomach gurgled nervously. As always, he tried to think of a way out, which was always his last resort in a desperate situation even though he knew very well he was trapped. ‘’I can’t do this!’’ he gasped breathlessly. The image of another boys tongue writing around in his mouth, the thought of being felt up inappropriately and the fear of giving up his sexuality for Dave was the kind of stuff he experienced in his nightmares. The thought of always being a freak, a pervert, a weirdo made him want to scream at the top of his lungs.

He knew he couldn’t wait any longer or his precious ‘’boyfriend’’ would get worried. He stood up, and unknowingly flushed the toilet out of habit. He opened the door, walked the mirror, again shocked by his appearance. He was alone. He looked into his scared eyes, wondering if he would ever get out Dave’s blackmail. He knew his only hope was moving away at the end of the summer but that was too far away. Between then and now, he could not imagine what the psychopath would do to him. He didn’t know if he could take it much longer.

He washed his hands and went to the dryer. He looked down at his dress, the long brunette hair hanging over his shoulders, his perky bosom, his thin waist, and legs, thinking to himself, ‘’I was never supposed to be this.’’. The loud, electronic drone of the hand dryer made him close his eyes. ‘’If it hadn’t been for that day. That day at the tennis court, I wouldn’t be here’’. He had to do something. He felt as if he could do anything. He needed a way to trap Dave but he did not know how.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Charlie walloped the dryer with all his strength with three hard raging punches. His face was completely red and saliva spewed from his mouth furiously. The corner of his eye was caught by his reflection and what a disturbing sight he was. ‘’You’re dead,’’ he said moodily.

A few minutes later, he was back in the theatre, wrapped up in Dave’s arms. He stared up at the screen but he was not really watching or listening to the film. He could feel Dave squish himself closer as his embrace tightened. He closed his eyes, trying to escape to another place but the only place his mind would let him go to was Sean and Julie. Yet while his mind dwelled on that, the greater half thought, ‘’When is he going to make a move?’’ repeatedly like a fragile, broken and scratched record.

The film wore on along with time and there was no sign of it ending any time soon. Charlie was just beginning to feel confident that Dave was not going to come onto him when something quite odd happened. Dave placed his hand on Charlie’s knee in a claw-like position, which made him jump, alarmed and left feeling violated. However, he forced himself to stay still inside Dave’s arm.

Dave then flattened his hand on the knee, and then slowly slid back up into his claw, sending shivers up all over Charlie’s body. He did this several times, making Charlie feel extremely uncomfortable but strangely aroused. He swallowed it down as his eyes bulged, sparkling tearfully against the light of the screen. Dave then began to rub Charlie’s lap, up and down, up and down in a slow rhythmic movement. He did not stop for several minutes and it was beginning to make Charlie feel strange. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as goose bumps formed over his skin. The horribly arousing sensation sent ticklish sentiments up his spine.

Dave kept doing this repeatedly for the next twenty minutes, until he progressed up Charlie’s skirt and began caressing the inside of his thigh. Up, down, in and out, his hand squeezed softly until he got a reaction from Charlie. He tried his best not to let out a much-needed groan because he knew he was bigger than that. He knew he could overcome Dave’s attempts to bring out another side in him. Yet, however strong his mind and willpower was he could not stop his body from reacting with pleasure. He closed his eyes, waiting for it all to end until suddenly he felt a familiar stiffness forming between his legs.

Oh god no!

It was a long, long film.

There is a dark figure sitting on a sleek, black coloured motorbike on the far end of the shopping centre car park. The figure appears to be a woman, her face covered by a mysterious helmet, and her bodice encased in a snug biker jacket. She wears a short ruffled mini skirt, black and white stripped tights with knee high boots, one resting on the ground, the other on the pedal. ‘’Don’t worry, Charlie,’’ said the woman as she watched the frail looking Charlie get into the blue Ford Fiesta with Dave, ‘’Your suffering will end soon enough.’’ She slipped the bike into gear, opened the throttle and zoomed off in pursuit of the car.

SUMMARY: It is Charlie and Rachel’s seventeenth birthday and what better way to celebrate than have a huge house party with all your friends, acquaintances and even some strangers. As Charlie lets himself free from the burdens of his deep secrecy, he delves into the most spontaneous and shocking of events even he did not expect.

It is the 13th June, ten days after the shopping/cinema date and Charlie has not heard from Dave.He sits in the back garden on his deck chair, staring out into the dusk sky as the sun slowly sank down behind the distant housing estate. It is a warm mid-Junes evening and the sky is painted with pinks, reds and oranges across the dark blue canvas. Even the stars were beginning to protrude through the blackest parts of the sky. It is truly wondrous.

The feminine sound of hairdryers, zippers, sprays, girls chatting, plates clinging and muffled sounds of music rang from the back door. All of this noise was because of last minute preparations of Charlie and Rachel Smith’s seventeenth birthday party.

Charlie had no interest in having a party whatsoever. After all, he was only just turning seventeen and it was not like becoming eighteen or twenty-one exactly. It was mostly his sister’s night as it was merely another excuse to have a large social gathering of cliques, groups, and friends from their school. She was always more popular, mainly because she liked most people and Charlie did not. Most were already bored and restless with their summer holidays, and it was only two weeks in so everyone was desperate to find a place where they can drink alcohol for a night without concern.

Charlie sighed as he continued to watch the large orange sun sink down, feeling the need to do so every few minutes to remind himself that he must breathe. His mind and heart had become heavy with burdens since the day at the shopping mall two weeks ago. He tried to block out everything that had happened but it was hard.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps nearing his deck chair. He immediately broke from his abstraction and turned to see his mother, dressed rather elegantly in a black high waisted pencil skirt with a short cap-sleeved blouse tucked inside. Her makeup is flawless, her brunette hair is wavy and let loose down her back and over her shoulders like two shiny curtains. It was the best she had looked in a long time and the sight of her made Charlie smile. She sat down next to him, looking somewhat nervous. ‘’How are you feeling?’’ she asked.

‘’Good, yeah, I’m fine,’’ Charlie lied, as always.

They shared a few moments of silence. Mary looked down at her feet, looking unsure of what she would say next. ‘’Look I’m not going to pester you about what’s going on inside your head tonight, Charlie, but if you have changed your mind, then maybe you want invite some of your close friends over before the party starts — you know — like Rachel did.’’

‘’I’ll be lucky if they even show for the actual party,’’ scoffed Charlie. Again, this brought on an uncomfortable silence between them. ‘’Yet I honestly don’t care,’’ he added.

‘’I know things haven’t been easy for you, Charlie,’’ said Mary softly. ‘’But if you try and enjoy tonight then maybe, just maybe you’ll overcome whatever is bothering you.’’

Charlie hated what she had just said. She had no clue, no clue whatsoever. However, he could not blame her. He knew he was the one pushing her away and he felt a painful agony for doing so. He wishes he didn’t have to be so secretive, so pent-up and so defensive about who he is. ‘’Thanks mom,’’ he said, looking at her with a sad smile.

They sat together; mother and son, looking at the sun disappear below the horizon until the stars began to illuminate the sky like millions of shiny light bulbs.

‘’I want to give you a present,’’ said Mary as they looked up at the sky, ‘’something special.’’

‘’What is it?’’ said Charlie, looking over at her.

Mary sat up straight, trying to hide her excited smile. Charlie too sat up and turned in his seat to face his mothers as his eyes lit up with great interest. She reached inside her skirt pocket and took out something clenched within her fist. She looked vaguely sad yet very loving and caring, more than she had seemed in recent years. ‘’I wanted to give this to you next year when you turned eighteen but I thought why not now, why wait?’’.

‘’What is it?’’ asked Charlie in a soft tone, sounding curious and child-like.

‘’Something special that has been passed down from my grandfather, to my mother, to me and now onto you,’’ said Mary soothingly.

She opened her hands to reveal a gold circle with a thin chain attached to it. Charlie immediately looked up into his mothers eyes, his mouth open with awe. ‘’Mom, I can’t -,’’

‘’Take it,’’ she smiled, her eyes wet with emotion.

Charlie’s heart thumped faster as he reached in and took the object into his right hand. He flicked it open. It was a compass, an old one. Inside the door was a small but old worn photo of Mary holding a newborn baby in her arms, it was Charlie. He was over encumbered with unexplainable emotions, the main one being love but the stronger one being guilt. He looked at his mother, ‘’Thank you. Thank you for everything.’’

‘’You deserve it, son,’’ said Mary, touching Charlie on the arm, just like she used to when he was a young child.

He wanted to hug her. He could not remember the last time he had done so. Just looking at her being so caring made his heart ache with guilt, all the lies, the hardship and neglect he had caused her. If she only knew what was going on with him, then, maybe she would not have given him the family heirloom at all.

‘’I better go and get ready,’’ said Charlie, standing up and breaking the moment into pieces.

Mary too stood up, straightened her skirt, and looked a little embarrassed. Just as Charlie turned for the door, he unexpectedly turned around and hugged his mother. Mary, who was briefly taken aback, wrapped her arms around him. ‘’Happy Birthday, Charlie,’’ she whispered softly. ‘’Now, go inside and enjoy your night.’’

He broke away, feeling a little awkward and smiled crookedly before walking into the house as Mary watched from behind, smiling proudly. He only noticed when he stepped inside the kitchen that his body seemed overheated. His heart raced and his mind fired up as he clenched the compass tightly in his hand. As he walked into the hallway, he took notice of how clean and neat the rooms were, waiting to be put out of place over the course of the night. He climbed the stairs, feeling each step increase his guilt feelings. He walked down the hallway, the sound of Rachel’s friends, and pop music growing louder before placing his hand on the bathroom door.

‘’Hi, Charlie!’’ called a soft, high-pitched voice.

Charlie looked to his right to see Kayla standing in the doorway of Rachel’s room. Her appearance immediately struck him. She dressed girlishly in a short puffy transparent skirt with a polyester underskirt, a short sleeved, puffed peach coloured blouse, tucked into the high waistband, black tights and matching high-heeled ankle shoes. Her brunette hair, freshly cut, lengthened down to her shoulders. It was thick, rich, and shiny with a long fringe hanging over her forehead.

It was as if she was waiting for him to come.

‘’H-Hey Jug — Kayla — I mean, Kayla, hello!’’ said Charlie, turning red as he almost called Kayla by the secret nickname he christened her, Jugosaurus.

He quickly locked himself inside the bathroom before Kayla could say another word to him. He placed the compass by the sink side and sat down on the edge of the bath. He could feel something well up inside him, something terrible. ‘’Why did you have to give me that compass?’’ whispered Charlie, clenching his fists and grinding his teeth. ‘’Why did you HAVE to make me feel so guilty?’’. As he stared at it, glinting against the light above the sink, he felt like he didn’t deserve it, not after all of his lying, deceit, anger, neglect and betrayal.

The compass that had belonged to my worthy great grandfather during the war, now in the hands of a disgraceful freak.

The Smith’s were never exactly an honourable family with grand expectations of every member but the compass was the only true heirloom inherited by generations. Charlie wished his mother had not given it to him in such a desperate time. He felt that Rachel would be more suitable to keep it. Why would she give it to him at such a young age anyway? What was the point? Charlie’s paranoia started to kick in once again as he contemplated the prospect of his mother trying to guilt him into telling her his secrets, but no, not Mary, she was much too affectionate to do such a thing.

Charlie shot up, grabbed the compass, and went to his bedroom. He opened his chest of drawers and threw it inside, feeling that he would never look at it again until it felt right. He felt guilty and depressed for everything he was keeping from his mother and sister but maybe when the time came, he might be worthy to possess such an heirloom. He backed away from the chest and sat on the bed, letting out a great sigh. He wanted to punch himself across the jaw. He felt accountable for his mother’s false feelings of love and care for him. The proud look glinting in her eyes as she handed him the compass made Charlie feel a pain nobody could express in words.

‘’I suppose I had better get ready,’’ he said to nobody in particular.

Within a few moments, Charlie was standing in front of the full-length mirror, buttoning up his black slim fit shirt and stepping into his converse all-stars. He also wore a pair of dark jeans with a white washed pattern on the frontal thighs. He brushed his hair for the first time in a while, commenting to himself on how badly he needed to get it cut.

‘’Smile, Charlie. It’s what you do best,’’ he said to his reflection.

He watched everyone arrive outside his house, dressed for partying and carrying crates of beer up the footpath. Occasionally people brought packages that looked like presents but he felt certain that they were not for him but for his sister. Every few minutes he heard the doorbell ring, followed by the same loud and overly excited expression, ‘’HEY! Oh my god, thank you so much for coming guys! Everyone else is out the back!’’. As he watched, he started to feel worse about himself. He knew very well that they were there for Rachel and not for him. He felt like a nuisance, like a parasite, living off his sister’s glory just because he was her twin. That was how he expected people to see him as.

It hurt him.

When he finally went downstairs, (which was a long time after everyone had arrived) he was shocked to see how many people had turned up. He knew almost nobody but occasionally he met the odd school friend from years back. The pats on the back as he moved through the crowd, the well wishes of, ‘’Hey man, happy seventeenth!’’ or the stale joke of, ‘’You’re now legal to do the business!’’ made Charlie feel like he had to feign enjoyment to please his ‘’audience’’.

He knew he was finding things to complain about, the loud thumping music, the snobby stuck up people from his school who rarely talked to him sitting on his couch, the friends of Rachel, the zero of his own and the whole pointlessness of getting drunk after turning an obscure age. Overall, he wished he had stayed upstairs in his room.

After walking through his sitting room, shaking hands and forcing smiles he moved through the hallway where an army of people holding beers stood at each end. ‘’There he is,’’ boomed the annoying Jack Summers, drunk and raising his bottle in the air, ‘’the man of the hour, himself, Mr. Charlie Smith!’’. Everyone in the hall applauded and wooed him as he walked through, ‘’You da man, Charles,’’ shouted Rebecca Stevenson into his ear, a girl who was neither friend of Rachel’s or Charlie’s.

He smiled awkwardly, ‘’Hey, thanks for coming, I appreciate it,’’ he said repeatedly, as drunk, tipsy and just plain irritating people shouted in his ear. When he got to the kitchen, things weren’t much different. It was packed with people talking over the loud music. There were girls dressed in extremely revealing attire and painfully high heels, boys dressed in shirts or sweater-shirts and whatnot. He spotted a few people he would usually talk to, Joseph, Tommy and even Young Alan, who was surprisingly guzzling down Buds as if there were no tomorrow.

‘’Whoa! Don’t hurt yourself, Young Alan!’’ said Charlie, grinning honestly.

‘’Happy sweet sixteenth, man!’’ beamed Joseph, his mouth hanging open as always.

‘’He’s seventeen, you disgraceful excuse for a human brain,’’ mumbled Tommy quietly, nursing his drink carefully.

Joseph who didn’t even hear Tommy, gave Charlie a casual nudge on the arm, ‘’I can’t believe how much turned up, I mean almost all of our entire year is here and on the plus side, have seen all of the hot skirt here tonight?!’’

‘’Yeah, it’s pretty amazing,’’ said Charlie, not exactly caring very much.

‘’The women here are as hot as the flames of hell,’’ mumbled Tommy, his eyes shining through his hairy face as he coyly stared into his glass.

‘’Well, it’s not exactly like I know half of the people here,’’ said Charlie, shrugging his shoulders. ‘’I mean, they’re all Rachel’s friends!’’

‘’Who cares, mate! Besides, you might even get laid tonight, now you’re legal and stuff!’’ nodded Joseph, slapping an invisible woman’s rear.

‘’I dunno about that,’’ said Charlie, standing up on his toes and looking around at the crowd. ‘’Hey where’s Sean?’’

Joseph’s smile quickly turned into a straight poker face by the mention of the name. ‘’I dunno, I reckon he’s coming a bit later?’’

‘’He is probably with Julie, yeah?’’ said Charlie, trying to sound casual.

Joseph looked a lot more comfortable by Charlie’s apparent empathy as he smiled and nodded like a happy dog, ‘’Yeah, that’s probably it!’’.

‘’Great,’’ said Charlie, clapping and rubbing his hands together with repressive anger. ‘’Well, enjoy your night guys and try not to wreck the place!’’ He turned to his right and pounded Tommy on the arm, ‘’Try not to get too wasted, eh?’’

‘’I’m here for your sisters hot body and her body only,’’ muttered Tommy, staring down at his feet.

Charlie wedged his way through the crowd, wondering if everyone actually knew who’s birthday it was because by the looks of it, some people looked like they were in college. He managed to get outside into the back garden where he inhaled an unholy amount of smoke and cold night air. ‘’Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like a poo, and you smell like one too, doo da dee dee dee doo!’’ shouted Conor Reynolds, the so-called class clown, as he sat with a group of girls around the garden table.

‘’Hey, hey, that’s funny, HA, you should be a comedian,’’ said Charlie, sounding unintentionally sarcastic.

‘’Thanks, guy!’’ said Conor, raising his hand with proud approval.

‘’HEEEEEEEEY! There’s the best birthday brother in the whole wide world!’’ shouted Rachel, ambushing Charlie from behind by draping her arms around his shoulders.

‘’Y-Yeah,’’ said Charlie uncomfortably startled by his sisters drunkenness and shocked by the cigarette he saw in her hand.

‘’Jesus Rachel, you smoke?!’’ he said, throwing her arms off.

He turned to look at her, standing there on the porch in her extremely short and tight pink tube dress, strapless with a revealing bosom. Her brunette hair, made up to seem thick and doll-like had a fresh blond streak down the side. Her body was painted with girlish makeup, pink gloss, false lashes, nails etc. ‘’It’s a special occasion, Charlie,’’ said Rachel, inhaling deeply from from the cigarette, ‘’and you should start enjoying yourself too!’’

She suddenly grabbed Charlie by the hand and held it up in the air as if he had just triumphantly won a boxing match. ‘’Isn’t my brother the most awesome guy in the entire world!’’ she bellowed, her eyes shut tight as she shouted at the top of her lungs.

‘’YEAAAAAAAAAAH!’’ responded the garden crowd enthusiastically.

‘’There,’’ said Rachel, letting go of his arm as the party immediately returned to their drinks, ‘’need you know more?’’

Rachel then swayed over to a group of similarly dressed girls, standing outside the back door with a cloud of smoke hanging above them. Charlie shook his head in disapproval and decided to go back inside. The kitchen island was turned into some sort of a bar as people crowded around, pouring and knocking back shots of Jaeger, Tequila, Schnapps and god knows what else. The class smooth-talker, Rob Blake had a cocktail shaker in his hands as he displayed his skills to two impressed girls. ‘’Charlie, my main man, how do you do my friend?’’ he said, producing his hand for a shake. ‘’Happiest of birthdays to you!’’

‘’Mr. Blake, what will you be brewing for us tonight?’’ said Charlie, purposely feeding Blake’s ego as he shook his hand.

‘’Well, it’s the simple classic Slippery Nipple, Mr. Smith, at the request of Ms. Alison and her good friend Ms. Katie here. Twenty-five millilitres of sambuca, dashed with the matching amount of Bailey’s Irish Cream!’’

‘’Happy seventeenth!’’ said Alison, squeezing Charlie around the waist.

‘’Thanks,’’ smiled Charlie.

Alison was the kind of person Charlie considered neither a friend nor acquaintance. She usually hung out with the popular gang at school but she still talked to Charlie whenever she got the chance, particularly in his biology class. She was a very pretty girl with a real, genuine look about her.

‘’Do you want a drink?’’ she asked, ignoring Blake’s showcase.

‘’I don’t drink,’’ said Charlie.

‘’What do you mean you don’t drink?’’ she frowned, looking rather confused. ‘’I specifically remember you getting drunk off a few bombs on exam night!’’

‘’Drinking is evil,’’ said Charlie, staring over at his mother handing out bottles to the underage.

‘’Not having a good time is evil,’’ stated Alison, joining Charlie by leaning on the worktop next to him.

‘’There’s plenty of other ways to have a good time,’’ Charlie assured.

‘’Oh yeah?’’ said Alison, smiling. ‘’Like what?’’

Charlie wondered what she meant by that so he he looked at her and panic immediately arose within him, ‘’Oh — no — no, no, god no I didn’t mean it like — shit! I meant stuff like -,’’

‘’Relax,’’ laughed Alison, ‘’I know you weren’t being weird — well — you were but not in a sexy way!’’

‘’In a sexy way?’’ Charlie laughed.

‘’Change the subject, NOW!’’ shouted Alison, beaming from ear to ear as the music grew louder. ‘’I’m getting you drunk whether you like it or not!’’

She picked up a bottle of sambuca, poured two shots, and lit them on fire. She smiled as she handed it to Charlie who returned to gesture hesitantly. He felt unsure but he didn’t want to upset Alison. ‘’Three, two, one…bottoms up!’’ she grinned.

The shot slid down Charlie’s throat like icy fire as his eyes stung with the strong taste. ‘’Love that stuff,’’ he said hoarsely over Alison’s laughs.

One turned into two, two turned into three and eventually Charlie was constantly carrying a pint everywhere with him. He moved around the house, happily accepting the attention from everyone. Even though he knew it would only last for the night before everything returned to normal, he thought, ‘’Screw it! Better make the most of it!’’. He felt surly but happy as all things bad things temporarily flushed away from his conscience.

Strangely, he felt hot and desired a girl but he hid his arousal so well that it was hard for anybody to notice it. He felt a burning sensation whenever he stopped and looked around at all the women, dressed up and looking beautiful. He was concupiscent, feeling the need to prove himself a man for once.

The night moved by faster than Charlie could tell. It was not long before everyone had reached the ‘’I love you’’ stage but the music raged on, pulsing into the walls, moving through peoples bodies whilst deafening the unfortunates who just wanted to talk. Rachel was the centre of drunken attention as she sat across Rob Blake’s lap, flirtatiously teasing him. Mary walked around, handing out sandwiches’ and hot food to the people in the sitting room as if she were some sort of tea lady.

As the night raged on, Charlie felt the need to escape the chaos by stumbling outside into the smokers-filled garden, singing merrily with his right arm around Joseph’s shoulder and his left around some random guy who claimed his name was Sméagol. ‘’…and I speeeent all my money on whiskey and beeeer!’’ chanted the trio. ‘’Waheeeeey!’’

‘’Hey, Charlie!’’ called Scott Braddock, holding up a cigarette, ‘’Do you want a puff?’’

‘’No!’’ bellowed Charlie, feeling annoyed.

‘’Hey, what are we doing out here?’’ asked Joseph. ‘’We should be inside with all them lovelies?’’

Charlie’s eyes scanned the garden. The cold night air had gone straight to his head and he felt as if he could no longer stand. His head was spinning. In the distance, at the very end of the garden, he spotted the recognisable Julie with her back turned, facing a tall skinny boy. It was Sean. He had his hands placed on her hips and she had her arms wrapped lovingly around his neck. They were kissing.

So it was true. For the past ten days, Charlie thought he may have imagined seeing them together in the shopping centre but there was the truth, embracing one another at the end of his own garden. It was just like the night in the club when he saw Julie on top of some stranger. It crushed him, grinded him into the dirt and kicked his heart in the ass hard. Except this time, it felt a hundred times worse. She was with his best friend and he was drunk, fairly drunk.

‘’What are they doing here?’’ said Charlie, his eyes aflame and his tone be bitter.

‘’What you do mean? He’s our friend?’’ said Joseph, sounding like an innocent child.

Charlie could not do anything. He could only stand by and watch. Despite his intoxicated state, he knew he had no reason to start a fire between Sean and Julie because there was never anything there in the first place. He never met with her in the café that day so he would probably never know what she was going to say. So evidently, she never liked him. She was just another tease, a flirt, a femme fatale.

‘’He’s not my friend,’’ Charlie said in a dark brooding tone before turning back into the house.

He felt so angry that he clenched his fists, ready to punch the next annoying partygoer who wished him a happy birthday. A path cleared the way for him as he walked up to the kitchen island. He was agitated to find that many of the spirits were gone but he settled for his mother’s ‘’secret’’ brandy, which he found in the press under the sink.

‘’Charlie, try not to drink too much,’’ urged Mary, who had suddenly appeared beside him.

‘’Says you,’’ Charlie spat, gulping back the entire glass in one go.

He left Mary, standing there looking incredibly hurt as he walked into the sitting room. There, he found Rachel, Kayla and her close group of friends sitting around the coffee table laughing and talking loudly. He immediately turned around, feeling repulsed at the thought of facing anybody. Kayla watched him leave. Instead, he exited the house through the front door and sat down on the porch.

It was then that he realised how much he had drank. He lost track, feeling his head beginning to pulse under the heavy weight of alcohol. The cold night air had awoken his senses. He now felt bad for what he had said to his mother so he decided he would apologise as soon as he went back inside. He leaned up against the porch wall and lazily outstretched one leg. The sound of the distant motorway, dogs barking and the muffled vibration of techno music from inside the house made Charlie feel as if he were sitting outside of a nightclub and not his own home.

He sighed, thinking about what he should do. He rarely drank alcohol but when he did and got time alone whilst under its grips, he usually started to think deeply about the wrongs in his life and he had a whole lot of them to think about.

His cross-dressing. That was the start of it all his problems. He could not fathom why he had to go into Rachel’s room all those months ago. What was it about that school uniform that struck him so much that he had to try on? He knew that his desires had been fermenting within for months before that day. Yet, his case of déjá  vu that day in the clothes shop, the pink skirt in the girls section all those years ago. Even then, he was curious, as a small innocent boy just past the toddler age he had wanted to dress up. However, that could have been a coincidental event in his life, yet, he still felt unsure. The thought of being something more than just a simple cross-dresser frightened and isolated him.

His crushes. Julie had caused him so much heartache that sometime he lay awake at night trying to cry but failing. Why couldn’t he cry? The last time he had truly cried was out of fear when Dave first forced him to put on the uniform. The image of Julie on top of the boy, the same one now, but replaced with his friend, Sean. He hadn’t even spoken to him since he seen him at the shopping centre and he didn’t seem to notice nor care in the slightest bit. He truly was not a real friend.

His family. Mary, the poor fragile single mother, with destructive tendencies and a likening towards alcohol as substance along with Rachel, the ‘’responsible’’, sensitive and confused young woman. Ever since the man of the house left, everything seemed to be coated with false happy smiles and bright colours but over the past few months, the paint has been peeling to reveal the true nature of their dysfunctional little family. Charlie blamed age. They were all growing tired of each other. He didn’t consider the consequences and reasons behind it all because it was just too painful.

Why must everything be so complicated with us?

His head was beginning to feel too heavy for his body. He felt as if he could sleep right there on the porch all night. He looked at his watch to see that it was just past half one in the morning. He buried his face in his palms, massaging his cheeks and wishing that the party would end so he could go to bed.

Suddenly, the front door opened and much to Charlie’s aversion, Kayla stepped through. ‘’Hi, Charlie,’’ she said coyly, her hands resting on the front of her skirt, clasped together

‘’Hello, Kayla,’’ he sighed, struggling as he moved his legs to allow her to sit down.

She gave a sort of half smile as she sat down next to him on the step. She didn’t seem to have been drinking from what Charlie could distinguish. She appeared prim, neat, well kept, and tidy. As always, she smelled of strawberry perfume.

‘’Are you having a fun night?’’ she asked, sounding as if that was not exactly what she wanted to ask.

‘’It’s alright,’’ said Charlie, bored and uninterested.

He really was not in the mood for any of Rachel’s friends, especially Kayla, the girl who had always fancied him. He knew she meant well but that did not stop him from feeling aggravated. ‘’Look what do you wan -,’’

‘’I see the way you look at her,’’ interjected Kayla, turning to Charlie.

‘’W-Who?’’ he asked, feeling he already knew the answer.

‘’Julie Philips,’’ said Kayla, sounding as if she were choking back tears.

Charlie didn’t respond. Instead, he looked down at his feet, gritting his teeth angrily, repressing himself from lashing out at her. He then calmed himself down, pouring cold water on the boiling plate of frustration, ‘’I don’t like her anymore.’’ He could not believe he was telling Kayla, of all people, his feelings.

‘’Anymore?’’ said Kayla, her eyes constantly on Charlie. ‘’I’m not going to ask why because that’s none of my business.’’ Charlie scoffed at this as he shook head. ‘’But it’s obvious why. It’s because she is with Sean, your best friend, isn’t it? It pains you to look at them together.’’

‘’Why are you here?’’ Charlie blurted out impatiently. ‘’To make me feel worse by listing out — out everything! Can’t you see I came out here to get away from that?!’’

‘’I’m here because I know how you feel,’’ said Kayla, placing her hand on his lap.

He immediately pulled away, ‘’I have to pee,’’ he said before standing up and slamming the door behind him. He marched up the stairs, down the hallway and into the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. He aggressively unzipped his jeans and started to urinate. He wasn’t sure if he was angry at Kayla or Julie. He was too drunk to comprehend that it was most likely the latter. When he was done, he went to the washbasin and soaked his hands in warm soapy water.

He nearly jumped when he seen Kayla leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed and an expression of slight anger. She had followed him.

‘’Were you watching me pee?’’ said Charlie, feeling a little startled.

‘’I know how you feel about Julie because I experience the same thing every single day at school when I see you look at her,’’ she said shakily, her eyes bulging with expression.

‘’You — you look at me?’’ said Charlie, grinning for all the wrong reasons as he dried his hands with a towel.

‘’Don’t you see what I’m trying to tell you here?’’ said Kayla, walking into the bathroom with her arms crossed.

‘’You don’t have to tell me a single thing, Kayla,’’ said Charlie, walking by her and leaving the bathroom. ‘’You must think me an idiot if you believe I hadn’t noticed your liking for me all these years!’’

Kayla stood in the middle of the brightly lit bathroom as she listened to Charlie’s echoed footsteps going fainter down the hallway. Her eyes were aflame with burning tears as she swung around and strutted down the corridor after him. ‘’You ARE an idiot, Charlie!’’ she shouted. ‘’You push the ones who actually care about you away so you can spend your time chasing fantasies!’’ she bellowed, walking right up to his face. Charlie, shocked by this sudden outburst marvelled at her hurtful eyes. ‘’Because when people actually care, they HAVE to matter and when they matter it becomes a problem for you!’’ cried Kayla, repeating the words of Rachel.

She was standing rather close to Charlie, too close. He could literally count her lashes, coated with dark mascara. Her lower lip was trembling and her eyes seemed to be sparkling with bottled up tears. He felt strange, attracted, captivated, and quite surprisingly, a little turned on. He didn’t know what to say. All he could do was concentrate on the warm itch inside his thigh.

‘’Well say something!’’ said Kayla, looking exasperated.

‘’You want to kiss me right now, don’t you?’’ said Charlie, trying not to smile.

‘’W-What?’’ she stuttered, taking a step back.

‘’You always want to kiss me, am I right?’’ repeated Charlie, playfully trying to pluck an answer from Kayla.

‘’I — I — well,’’ Kayla stammered, her cheeks flaring red.

Charlie had no idea what was coming over him. He was suddenly fuelled with the overpowering urge to get with Kayla. It was as if an inner beast was trying to get out. He moved in closer to her the more she slowed her steps back. She looked a little frightened but willingly lustful nonetheless, ‘’Yes,’’ she whispered.

Charlie leaned in, pressing his lips against hers and ventured his hands down to her waist. He was immediately pulled into a warm, soft, and gentle paradise of strawberries and soft brunette hair trickling against his forehead.

Kayla placed her arms around his shoulders, letting them dangle freely around his neck. He pulled her in closer, exhaling deeply through his nose as he felt her bosom press against his chest. They united affectionately in one other’s tight embrace, eyes closed as they played with each other’s lips.

All tension, worry, and sexual frustration vented from Charlie’s mind as he shared this unexpected intimacy. There were loud sounds of the music and people talking downstairs, merged with the gasps of infatuation coming from Kayla’s soft murmurs. They opened their mouths slightly as Charlie tenderly brushed Kayla’s lower lip with his own.

‘’Maybe we should go into my room,’’ whispered Charlie.

‘’Agreed,’’ smiled Kayla.

Charlie clenched her hand into his, feeling her long, slender fingers between his own. They ran down the hall, Kayla giggling excitedly as they went into the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, Charlie returned to kissing Kayla on the lips but this time more passionately. It was as if somebody else was controlling his body and he was merely the passenger. He let his hands slide down her back and onto her rear, gently squeezing as he pressed her up against the wardrobe, kissing and nibbling at her neck.

‘’What brought this on?’’ gasped Kayla breathlessly. Charlie did not respond. ‘’I’m not complaining though!’’ she said gleefully.

Charlie returned to her mouth, pecking her a few times on the mouth before brushing his tongue ever so slightly across her lips. He watched her eyes fire up excitedly as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. The sensation was electric for both of them as they closed their eyes. Charlie was practically lifting her up against the wardrobe as she placed her hands on the sides of his face. They moved around the room, not stopping for a second before falling backwards onto the soft cushiony bed.

Kayla was now in control as she sat on top of Charlie, unbuttoning her peach coloured blouse and throwing it aside. He was suddenly reminded of why he always called her Jugosaurus because her bosom was quite huge, encased in a tight bra with lace trimmings. With her legs hooked around his sides, she mounted and leaned in, her hair covering both their heads as she continued to kiss him.

He felt feverish, boiling, and overheated as she thrust her tongue in and around his mouth. He opened his eyes to see that it was no longer Kayla kissing him, but Dave. His brain could have exploded with shock as he pulled himself out from beneath Dave and turned him around to his position. ‘’Whoa, frisky one you are!’’ said Dave in the voice of Kayla. Charlie shook his head, rapidly shaking the Dave surrogate from his mind.

‘’Charlie, are you okay?’’ asked Kayla, lying back on the bed as her chest pushed in and out like a pump. ‘’You don’t like being on bottom?’’

‘’I’m fine,’’ said Charlie, puffing for air. ‘’The guy always goes on top,’’ he added before ripping off his shirt. He crawled across the bed and opened Kayla’s legs, leaning over her as he returned to necking her. As he did this, he placed his left hand inside her thigh and slowly began to creep up her skirt. He continued to kiss her on the lips as he did this. The feeling of her soft hair, the warmness of her lips combined with the smell of strawberries was ecstatic. His kissing started to become hotter and more intense, too intense as his hand teased her leg further.

I’m not Dave’s plaything! I’m not Dave’s plaything! I’m not Dave’s plaything!

Memories of the cinema date tried to force their way into his mind. The way Dave held him in a strong grip, forcefully pushing his tongue into his mouth.

NO! I’m not Dave’s whore, I’m not Dave’s whore!

His hand slipped further up Kayla’s skirt and he was almost completely incapable of stopping himself. Kayla’s soft moans turned into a grunt of protest as his hand reached near her privates. Her eyes gaped wide open and she instantly pushed him away. ‘’NO!’’ she gasped, completely out of breath.

Charlie dismounted her, rolled over to other side of the bed, out of breath, and confused of what just happened. Straight away he felt terrible for his uncontrollable actions, ‘’I’m so sorry I — I don’t know what -,’’

‘’That wasn’t at all like you,’’ said Kayla, looking over at him. ‘’Well, not that — that I would usually know what you’re like,’’ she added.

‘’No,’’ said Charlie breathlessly, ‘’no, that was not like me at all, Kayla.’’

He sat up and sighed, looking down at Kayla who looked more attractive and prettier than ever despite her being in just a bra and skirt. He turned and swung his legs off the side of the bed, placing his hands on his forehead. ‘’I’m so sorry. I — I hope I didn’t scare you,’’ he said, still trying to make sense of what he had tried to do. ‘’I don’t know what came over me!’’

‘’You don’t have to apologise,’’ said Kayla, sounding untainted.

‘’What the hell were you doing, Charlie?’’ he asked himself under his breath.

He stood up, feeling the weight of alcohol on his head once again. He picked up his shirt and put it back on.

‘’Does this mean we aren’t going to continue making out?’’ asked Kayla, sounding a little hopeful.

Charlie walked to the window, annoyed that he had ripped some buttons off his shirt. He felt like he had just returned from a monstrous form, after a horrible wrath of terror. Why did he treat Kayla’s body with such disrespect and digression? It boggled the mind. It was something that Dave would do. The flashbacks — oh god — the flashbacks of the cinema date had pushed him to do so but why?

‘’Charlie?’’ called Kayla softly, sounding worried and concerned. ‘’Are you okay?’’

As he looked through the windowpane, down onto the dark suburban driveway, he saw the interior light of a blue Ford Fiesta turn off as its owner shut the door. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat as he witnessed the head of Dave O’Donnell turn and look at the house.

No! Not here! Not now!

He broke into a rapid run out of the room, skidded along the hallway, and sprinted down the stairs, nearly twisting his ankle in the process. The puzzled partygoers watched Charlie as he slammed the front door behind him. Marching up the front path, Charlie felt in unholy amount of rage boil within the very pit of his stomach.

‘’You have some nerve showing up here!’’ he bellowed as he aggressively pulled the front gate open.

‘’It’s nice to see you too!’’ said Dave, opening his arms for a hug.

‘’What do you want?!’’ shouted Charlie.

Dave stood in the middle of the road, smiling yet looking incredibly angry and annoyed. ‘’How come I wasn’t invited?’’ he asked, eyeing the house. ‘’Hmm? At least give me some sort of excuse why I wasn’t invited to my girlfriends birthday party?’’

Charlie squinted, feeling unsure if he had heard Dave correctly. ‘’Wha — wait — wait — did I just hear that correctly?’’ said Charlie, shocked and even a little amused. ‘’You actually think that when you force me to put on makeup and a dress that I’m Rachel, YOU’RE girlfriend?’’ Charlie had no idea what he was doing when he started smile. All the drink gave him false confidence.

‘’What the hell are you talking about?’’ said Dave, looking and sounding rather puzzled. ‘’I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about your sister, Rachel!’’

The smile immediately vanished from Charlie’s face as he stared at the lunatic before him. ‘’You really think that was Rachel helping you study every Friday evening leading up to the summer exams? Do you honestly believe that was her with you in the cinema ten days ago? You seriously think that you’re still going out with her even though she clearly wanted you out of her life after to you revealed yourself to be nothing more than a sick freak!’’

Charlie stopped to take in a breath of air the second he ended his seething rant. Dave just stood there, shaking his head as his eyes bulged tearfully. ‘’Stop, please, just s-stop right there,’’ said Dave shakily. He started fidgeting, rubbing his hands together erratically, and fuming with building rage. ‘’YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!’’ he roared like a confused, angry, and spoilt child.

Charlie, feeling brave behind the fogginess of intoxication no longer feared neither his blackmailer nor the consequences of upsetting him. He felt himself being concerned. ‘’Dave, I know you loved my sister. She probably even loved you too. She did cry for weeks after you both broke up.’’

‘’She did?’’ said Dave, sounding a little less psychotic.

‘’Yes, she did. But she has moved on and you should so the same. This has gone on long enough. Please, please end this pointless blackmail so we can both move on with our lives. If you don’t accept that it’s over then you’re going to spend the rest of your life living a lie. This cannot go on forever, Dave, can’t you see that?’’

Dave looked like he had just woken up from a very long and strange dream, rubbing the back of his head with shock as his mouth hung open. Charlie thought he had gotten though to him, but felt that it was much too easy to jump to conclusions.

‘’You are forgetting one thing, Charlie,’’ said Dave.

‘’W-What’s that?’’ said Charlie, feeling out of breath.

Dave’s face slowly slipped back into his regular, sinister expression, ‘’ — that I still hold a very important secret of yours.’’

Charlie was pulled down from his high horse, tumbling back into Dave’s strong grip right after he had thought he freed himself from them. There was no worse feeling in the world. ‘’Please,’’ said Charlie, sounding worn and serious. ‘’Please, just end all of this. You’re — you’re destroying my life.’’

‘’This isn’t some sort of a contact or a — or a clause!’’ stated Dave judiciously. ‘’This is love we’re talking about here. You can’t just ask me to end it with the push of a button.’’

Charlie had no response. He had never felt more damaged and crushed in his life. He felt that he had used every method possible to try to knock sense into Dave’s skull. There was no way he could continue being his love toy forever.

‘’Please leave now,’’ said Charlie, tiredly pointing to Dave’s car. ‘’Nobody must see you here.’’

‘’I’m not leaving until you agree to a proposition,’’ said Dave, placing his hands on his waist.

‘’Could you really call it a proposition when my only option is to say yes?’’ said Charlie in a scathing, mordant tone.

‘’My Dad is out of town for four days starting next weekend and I wanted to spend my free time in the house it with you — Rachel,’’ he said, not sounding in the least bit shameful. ‘’I’ve got a surprise for you.’’

‘’Four days?!’’ exclaimed Charlie, hoping he was joking.

‘’Fine, well I’ll just be letting everyone inside know what you are!’’ said Dave, readying to walk across the road to Charlie’s house.

‘’Wait, wait, wait, STOP!’’ said Charlie, stepping in front of him. ‘’I didn’t say no! You’ll get what you want now piss off and leave!’’ he said angrily.

Dave smiled, looking rather pleased with himself as he backed away towards his car. Charlie watched him, fists clenched and seething with rage. Dave got inside his car, started up the engine, backed up and turned around. He unrolled the window and said, ‘’Happy Birthday, Charlie!’’ before speeding off down the cul-de-sac.

Charlie watched the red backlights fade into the darkness. He was stiffer than a statue as he gazed into the black abyss. He felt horribly bullied and defeated. ‘’Four days?’’ he whispered to himself shakily. He then turned back towards the house, his head hanging as his heart thumped angrily. Now he felt like crying.

‘’What did he want?’’ said a quite soft voice.

Charlie looked up to see Kayla standing on the porch, dressed and groomed once again with her arms crossed over her chest.

‘’H-How long have you been standing there?’’ asked Charlie sacredly.

‘’I just came from your room just now to see you watch Dave drive away,’’ she said honestly. ‘’Anyway that doesn’t matter, you were obviously talking to that scumbag so what did he want?’’

Charlie was lost for words. For one thing, he felt relieved that Kayla had not heard a thing but he was still suffering from the aftermath, drunk, tired and angry. ‘’He — he wanted to come inside but — but I wouldn’t let him,’’ said Charlie.

‘’That evil, horrible man,’’ said Kayla, wrinkling her nose. ‘’After what he did to Rachel, after he broke her heart.’’

‘’That’s what I told him,’’ said Charlie, his teeth beginning to chatter with the cold. ‘’Don’t tell her.’’

‘’What?’’ said Kayla, breaking away from her angered stupor.

‘’Don’t tell Rachel that Dave was here. It would ruin her night,’’ said Charlie. ‘’She’d be crushed.’’

‘’Oh, don’t worry, I won’t,’’ said Kayla, half smiling. ‘’She’ll never know.’’

Charlie returned to his party with a heavy conscience. The effects of alcohol were slowly fading away as he returned to his miserable self. He sat on a high stool next to Rachel as their mother brought in the birthday cake to the loud chant of the crowds birthday song. He was so lifeless that he could not even bring himself to fake a smile or a thank you. Everybody assumed he had too much to drink and he was happy to accept that reason to cover his true feelings.

As soon as the cake and presents part of the night ended, Charlie went upstairs to be alone in his bedroom. The party continued to drive forward into the early hours of the morning until the crowd shrank and eventually, bit by bit, everybody went home bar Rachel’s close friends who were staying the night.

He lay awake in bed, thinking about the nights events. The random make out with Kayla, Sean and Julie, but most of all the cruel, callous blackmailing from Dave. The nature of his spontaneous appearance right after such a pleasant experience made him feel both angry and hurt. He pounded his mattress several times, as he tried to think of a way to stop Dave. Appealing to his senses didn’t work, displaying his madness didn’t work, guilt didn’t work. He felt there was literally nothing he could do.

At around five o’clock in the morning, Charlie’s bedroom door squeaked open as Kayla glided in, tiptoeing in her favourite pink nightdress. Her gentle footsteps against the wooden floor reached the bedside and she lifted open the blanket. ‘’It’s just me,’’ she whispered softly.

Charlie rolled around to face her as she climbed under the covers. Her presence suddenly made everything seem warm and radiant. ‘’Did you have a good night?’’ she asked, moving in so close that her nose brushed against his.

‘’I had fun,’’ whispered Charlie, half-lying.

She kissed him on the lips and cuddled up against him, using his chest as a pillow as her hand rested on side. ‘’Me too,’’ she smiled, closing her eyes.

Charlie could smell her rich brunette hair right below his nose. He sighed as he tiredly stared up at the ceiling. The night had been indeed random. He had seen a different, more mature side to Kayla that he had not noticed before and he liked it, much to his own surprise. He admitted that what she had said to him earlier was right. He did ignore the ones who actually cared for him. He spent months chasing Julie when it was Kayla he should have been with all along. All he used to see was the ditzy girly girl who irritated him since playschool. He felt his one-dimensional view of her had changed greatly.

He lay awake, staring at the ceiling as he caressed the happily snoozing Kayla. Everything that people had told and advised him to do was slowly sinking into his head and it made him feel emotional. He needed to fix his life by starting with the main problem, Dave. He had no idea how he was going to cease the blackmailing after his failed numerous attempts but he felt prepared to use any means necessary. After that, he would stop cross-dressing forever and relieve all of the lies that he had kept pent up inside him all these months. If all went as planned he would continue to work all summer in an attempt to stop his family’s house from being taken by the bank.

It all seemed so farfetched and technically impossible but he knew he was starting on the right path to ridding himself of his demons. He felt passionate, alive, and driven. He was no longer afraid. He was angry. A dangerous plan carefully formed inside his head as he looked towards the following weekend. He felt positive that he would end the blackmail for good.

Dave’s comeuppance is coming.

SUMMARY: It's the final straw. Charlie, now compelled to fight back against Dave concocts a dangerous plan to take out the ruthless blackmailer once and for all. It won't be easy.

Dave watched the raindrops roll down the windowpane and morph into one another before they dripped away. Outside, it was pelting down so hard that it looked like the rain was coming up from beneath. He watched people scurry down the street with umbrellas, newspapers, and briefcases over their heads to protect their precious haircuts. It was dreadful weather.

However, he was safely inside a nice warm café with a cup of tea between his two hands. The sounds of plates and cutlery clinking amongst the mumbling and talking of people were a million miles away from Dave’s attention. He looked like he had been waiting by the window for some time for there was a glint of impatience in his eyes.

He kept looking at his watch, cursing each time he saw how much time had gone by. Suddenly, the door chimed and he looked up in hope but his exhilaration vanished when it was not his girlfriend. ‘’Stood up by a girl. How embarrassing,’’ he muttered angrily, fiddling with an unused fork. He started to tap it gently against the edge of his empty bread plate as his eyes trailed back outside the window.

It was still raining. Heavily.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

The ringing of the fork tapping the plate seemed unnaturally louder. It seemed to be twisted, mutated, and echoed in Dave’s head louder than it normally would.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

‘’Where are you?’’ he growled monstrously. Suddenly, he snapped out of his reverie and looked around to see that everybody in the café was near silent as they all stared upon him with confused expressions. Some whispered into ears whereas others returned to socialising when he woke up from his strange trance. Dave blinked, unsure if his eyes were playing tricks on his mind. Again.

He looked down at his plate to see that he had split it in two. ‘’How did that happen?’’ he whispered. Confused, he felt the urge to get up, leave the café, and never return. He felt mortified and bewildered by his lack of control. ‘’What just —‘’ Suddenly the door chimed and a girl stepped inside from the intense weather. There she was, standing by the door soaked to the skin and looking just as puzzled as the rest of the café.

Julie stood there with her long red hair, darkened by the rain hanging over her shoulders, her piercing green eyes brighter than ever, her freckles more noticeable, and her outfit sagged with water. Oh how Dave was glad to see her at last. He suddenly forgot about the incident a few moments ago as everything seemed to be normal again. He got up and hugged her with snug comfort but he quickly broke away. He felt he had just embraced cold, dead body and not his precious Julie.

‘’What’s wrong?’’ he asked, concerned. ‘’Are you okay?’’

‘’I-I’m — I’m fine -,’’ she said, breaking eye contact and looking at the broken plate. ‘’Shall we sit?’’

Dave smiled and helped her take off her coat as she sat down. She didn’t want him to be so benevolent. It was unnecessary. He quickly ran to his seat, excited like a puppy dog greeting his homecoming mistress. Julie looked uncomfortable, awkward, and uneasy as Dave poured her a cup of tea from the pot. ‘’Where were you?’’ he asked, looking up at her as he filled the cup. ‘’I was worried. You weren’t picking up your phone.’’

‘’Oh — did I not — sorry I didn’t hear it in the rain,’’ said Julie, looking like she wanted to say something important but didn’t quite know how. ‘’I’m sorry I kept you waiting,’’ she said, not touching her cup.

Dave knew something was wrong. His girlfriend was not acting the same. She seemed tense and refused to look at him in the eye. He just wanted to stare into those beautiful emerald gems as he always did but she would not allow it. She was looking at him but not in the eye.

‘’Dave I have an ulterior motive in inviting you to come here today,’’ said Julie, tensing up another notch. She clearly wanted to say something but Dave would not have it. A small part of him knew what the ‘’date’’ was all about but he did not want to face reality.

‘’What’s that?’’ he asked, before taking a swig of his tea.

‘’What is what?’’ said Julie, annoyed that she was cut off.

‘’Ultra motivation or whatever,’’ he said, starting to grin boldly.

Julie bit her lower lip and looked out the window. She felt incredibly stressed. ‘’I didn’t ask you to come here to drink tea, eat cakes and be all romantic like we usually do. I’ve come here to tell you something.’’ She knew she was making things worse by stalling. She did not want to say it. She wanted Dave to figure it out for himself like a normal person but his complicated mind would not allow it. He didn’t say anything. He just continued to occupy himself by taking more sips of tea whilst trying to look casual yet his mind was clearly troubled. ‘’You know how things have been with us recently. Don’t deny it. It hasn’t been exactly smooth and we both know it would eventually come to this,’’ said Julie, trying her best to sound sympathetic.

Dave said nothing. He was not having it. He would not hear it.

‘’I’m breaking up with you, Dave,’’ said Julie, putting it brutally straight forward. ‘’We can’t go on like this. We’re only teenagers, not a married couple.’’

It was as if Julie’s fateful confession did not reach Dave’s mind at all. He had completely blanked it out as though everything was merry and cheerful. ‘’More tea?’’ he said, smiling as he picked up the pot.

‘’Did you not hear me?’’ asked Julie. ‘’Are you even listening? We’re finished!’’ she said more harshly.

‘’I’m going to have some more anyway,’’ Dave said, pouring more tea into his cup.

Julie slid her chair back a little as her eye fixed on Dave. She looked incredibly disturbed by her now ex-boyfriends behaviour. ‘’What is wrong with you?’’ she asked coldly.

‘’There’s nothing wrong with a little more!’’ said Dave, all chipper and nice as he toasted his mug playfully.

Julie was dumbfounded. She had said what she wanted and now she was lost for words. She just stood up and put on her coat as Dave carried on as if everything was fine and dandy. ‘’You’re a lunatic,’’ she said, wrapping her rain coat around her bodice before storming out of the café. She strutted down the street as rain poured down over her head.

Dave continued to sit by the window in the café, sipping on tea before he screamed, ‘’JULIE!’’ followed by a sprint out the door. He nearly knocked over an old woman as he ran out onto the sidewalk. He shouted after Julie as she hailed down a taxi. He ran after her. Before he could touch her, she spun around to face him.

‘’Just please — go away — you’re making this harder for both of us!’’ she said, sounding distressed.

‘’Please — don’t do this — tell me what’s wrong — tell me what’s happened — what can I do to help?’’ said Dave, desperately pouring his heart out.

‘’There’s nothing wrong with me, Dave! IT’S YOU!’’ shouted Julie, her eyes beginning to well. ‘’Don’t pretend you don’t know why I’ve broken up with you!’’

‘’Is this because of that Charlie Smith guy?’’ asked Dave heatedly. ‘’Are you leaving me for him?’’

Julie brushed him off as she turned and opened the cab door. He grabbed her arm, ‘’Julie, are you leaving me for him?’’ he asked seriously.

“There’s more to it than that, Dave! You’re just not the guy I thought you were. You expect things to be the same all the time!’’ she bellowed passionately. ‘’You’re — you’re just insane! I feel trapped when I’m with you. I can’t even talk to other guys let alone my friends without you freaking out and accusing me of cheating!”

“So you are leaving me for Charlie then?” roared Dave.

Julie pulled her arm away, shaking her head with a mixture of disbelief and disgust. ‘’You’re just — so unbelievable -,’’ she said trying to get inside the taxi but Dave pulled her back yet again.

‘’Are you getting in or what’s the story?!’’ snapped the driver fiercely.

“I’ll change —,’’ Dave said seriously. ‘’I’ll stop be controlling and everything will be fine, I promise!”

Julie leaned in very close to dave’s face. For a brief moment he thought he was about to be kissed. Instead she said, ‘’People like you never change,’’ she said sharply, keeping a straight face and piercing eyes. ‘’You will be the same to every other girl after me and I feel sorry for them.’’ He was left stunned on the sidewalk, gathering rain in his clothes as he watched his beloved Julie get into the taxi. ‘’Westbrook, please,’’ she said to the driver before dropping a piece of paper out the window.

It was a photograph of her kissing Dave as she looked into the camera lens.

The rain did not stop all day long. It continued to pelt against Dave’s bedroom window as he sat his desk, hunched over with his face buried in his hands. He was trembling ever so slightly. The room was gloomy and lifeless. An aluminous light poured over the room from the computer monitor as it turned on. The photograph, which Julie had carelessly thrown out the taxi window lay up against the screen.

Dave peered out from behind his shaky hands and looked at the photo. His eyes were red raw from crying and his face was ghostly pale. The sight of the photograph made him feel a pain beyond comprehension as he hid behind his hands yet again. He snivelled as tears flooded down his cheeks, scalding his cold cheeks like acid. He kept sobbing, ‘’bitch’’ repeatedly every time the photo was out of sight.

He pounded the desk with his fist, angrily wiping away his tears as he looked over to his chest of drawers. His eyes were fixed on a pill calendar. He then turned to the computer screen. A picture from Charlie’s Facebook page was opened in a new tab. Dave stared at the profile picture. Charlie looked sickeningly happy as he smiled beside Sean and Joseph.

‘’He stole her from me,’’ he whispered. ‘’He stole her and he’s never giving her back.’’

Dave quickly closed the window as his bedroom door creaked open. He immediately opened solitaire and pretended to play.

“Who are you talking to, Son?’’ asked a deep voice from the door.

‘’Nobody Dad, I wasn’t saying anything,’’ said Dave, feeling embarrassed.

“Okay, well, I’m heading off to work now. I’ve left dinner in the microwave,” said his father.

Dave accidently sniffed back a few tears but simply said, “Thanks, Dad.”

There was a pause.

“Did you take your pills?” his father asked, looking over at the chest of drawers.

“Of course, Dad, I haven’t suddenly forgotten!” said Dave, feeling patronised.

“Okay then, I’ll be off,’’ said his father, “I’ll see you tomorrow, son.’’

He didn’t say he loved him before closing the door.

Dave sighed and looked over at his pill calendar again. It had not been touched all day. He closed his eyes as he breathed in and out bullishly through his nose. He didn’t care. He didn’t need those damned pills anymore. They were restricting him from who he really was.

For the first time ever, he felt that he was thinking clearly. He reopened the window for Charlie Smith’s Facebook profile. He returned to staring at the picture as hate swelled inside him like a deadly explosion about to go off.

Dave wanted his new enemy to suffer. So. Very. Badly.

***

It is Friday morning, June 15th, three days after the double seventeenth birthday party. Rachel and Mary are preparing to leave for a weekend spa trip courtesy of Kayla’s generous birthday gift to her very best friend, making it all the much easier for Charlie to go to Dave’s house for the weekend unnoticed.

The rattle of the plastic wheels against the front path created a loud, grating sound that made Charlie wince with discomfort. He watched from the front door as his mother lifted her suitcase and neatly pushed it into the trunk of her mini-van, flushed with effort as she turned, looking at her son with her hands on her hips. She looked vaguely worried.

‘’Sorry,’’ said Rachel, brushing by Charlie as she left the house with a suitcase and several bags in tow.

Charlie watched his mother and sister pack up the van before finally shutting the boot. He strolled down the front path with his hands in his pockets, barefooted and his shoulders hunched under the cold morning air. He looked exhausted, rugged, and untidy, dressed only in jeans and a t-shirt. ‘’Well, bye and stuff,’’ said Charlie, his chin shaking slightly.

‘’We will see you again on Tuesday, son,’’ said Mary, taking her keys from her purse. ‘’Remember that I have left the pass card on the worktop. There’s only a fifty in it but that is more than enough to keep you going,’’ she said, eyeing Charlie as though she did not trust him with money. ‘’Oh and remember to lock to the house if you head out.’’

Charlie simply nodded, trying to extinguish the lectures so his mother would just leave. ‘’Enjoy your weekend anyway,’’ he said, stepping back towards the house.

Mary smiled hesitantly and opened the car door. She then stopped and turned her head, ‘’Oh and Charlie -,’’ she called, raising her hand, ‘’ — no parties! Just think about the mess I had to clean up after the last night!’’

‘’Don’t worry about it, Mom,’’ yelled Charlie over the roaring car engine.

He watched his mother back out of the driveway onto the road before hearing the familiar jerk of the gear. Rachel, who sat in the passenger seat turned her head and looked at Charlie with a concerned look of anxiety on her face as if she somehow knew that her twin brother was rapidly descending towards danger. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it and simply shook her head with worry. The car then took off down the road.

Charlie sighed as he unloaded the great burden of his family’s presence off his back. He was finding it increasingly hard to lie in front of them all the time. He went back inside and prepared the items he would need for when Dave arrived. They were two simple tools. He placed them both on the worktop in the kitchen and stood back to look at them. ‘’I must be insane,’’ he said to himself as he looked at the large frying pan and duct tape. ‘’But then again, he deserves it!’’. He laughed nervously as he fingers began to drum anxiously against his thigh. He left the kitchen and began pacing around the house.

Don’t screw up! This is your last chance to get rid of Dave finally!

His mind was racing frantically. He did not know what to think. The only feeling he was sure of was fear. Fear of everything going wrong and ending up tighter in Dave’s clutches. It has happened before but this time was different. He had found a way out. It was dangerous but it was his last shot.

He sat at the dinner table with his eyes fixed on the clock as his fingers drummed rhythmically against the wooden surface. He felt himself becoming more aware of the sounds around him, the clock, the boiler, the distant traffic, the birds, and the neighbours. The only sound he wanted yet dreaded to hear was Dave’s car pulling up in the driveway.

It was 10:34.a.m.

He jumped up off his seat and grabbed the frying pan, walking out into the hall and leaving it by the door. He could feel his knees shaking. ‘’Calm down, calm down,’’ breathed Charlie, taking slow steady breaths. ‘’ You can do this, you can do this.’’ He turned and went upstairs for no apparent reason. He could not keep still. He walked up and down the hall, biting his nails with worry. His stomach rumbled, begging for food but his mind disallowed pity.

He stopped outside Rachel’s bedroom door. There was to a small crack that allowed a peek inside. He pushed open the door, feeling his heart pound passionately as if it strengthened with familiarity. The room had not changed in the slightest since he first tried on the school uniform all those months ago. The place still reeked of girliness and femininity.

This is where it all started for Charlie. All of his problems started to come at once since that day. God how he wished he could go back and change time. He walked into the room, letting his hand stroke across the furniture surfaces. He hated it. To him, it was now one the worst places he had ever been to.

He sat down on Rachel’s bed, taking in the strong smell of perfume and lotions. He closed his eyes tight and breathed in. The song Girls Just Wanna Have Fun echoed at the back of his mind as the image of him jumping up and down on the bed cropped up. He felt embarrassed and stupid when he thought about that day. He felt he had grown up so much since then despite the fact it was not exactly that long ago. It was bizarre. He found it rather humorous to think that the school uniform had cursed him or put a spell on him.

He looked over at the wardrobe. The pink high waisted skirt and blazer outfit hung over the door. He stood up and walked over to it. He remembered the thrilling excitement he felt before trying on the skirt but now all he can see is just another outfit. Nothing more. It was just a simple item of apparel. It no longer appealed to him, nor did any of the other clothes in the room. They did not rattle his curiosity. They did not shake the very foundations of his being by the thought of donning them. The closest emotion he felt towards the clothes was repulsion. He hated them as much as he hated the room.

He essentially believed that they had ruined his life.

He felt he would never try on another piece of female clothing after what Dave put him through. Never again.

*Ding! Dong!*

Charlie’s head immediately swung to the window. His heart jumped up into his throat as his entire body ceased up in terror. He crept over to the window and looked down. He could see the blue Ford Fiesta parked up in the driveway. It was Dave.

This is it.

He acted quickly by walking slowly out of the room and down the hallway. He could feel something inside his ear, beating like another heart, urging him to be brave. His mouth suddenly dried up as he clenched his lips together. His nails dug into the palms of his sweaty hands. He felt as if he was walking through the trenches, ready to go out onto the battlefield.

He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked down to see Dave’s silhouette looming over the floor through the frosted glass. He began to descend the stairs slowly with his hand running smoothly along the barrister. He tried to contain himself. His hand was trembling ever so slightly and the tip of his nose felt very much like an ice cube.

*Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong!*

Each ring of the bell felt like a stab in the chest or the hurt caused by verbal abuse. He crept across the hallway and stood inside the door, picking up the steel frying pan with his shaky hands. Terror started to take over his mind again as Dave began to call out his name.

‘’Come on, Charlie! Open the damn door! You knew I was coming.’’ Dave shouted, his voice muffled yet near. ‘’I told you last night at the party, didn’t I?’’

Charlie started to breath heavily through his nose in order to contain his rising fury. He was like a dragon, ready to strike but his eyes looked like those of a scared child. He tried to keep his face as calm and cold as possible but images and feelings of Dave touching and feeling his body began to return. He gritted his teeth so hard that his mouth could have bled aguish.

Dave began thumping on the door aggressively, ‘’I know you’re in the house somewhere!’’ he bellowed. Each thump seemed to amplify by the fist. Charlie felt as if his brain was on fire and his stomach felt like a boiling pot of mounting rage. Then something began to vibrate in his pocket before ringing out loudly. His mobile phone could have woken the dead it was so loud. His hand dived into his pocket to pull out his mobile. He hung up immediately, returning to his fight like stance.

‘’Shit, shit, shit, shit!’’ he mouthed angrily.

He could hear the handle of the door turning as he hid deeper around the porch walls. Everything turned to silence and his terrified bravery transformed into courage. The creak of the door made the hairs stand up on his arms and he suddenly felt the presence of Dave in the room. He was like a ghost, quiet, haunting, and possessive. Dave shut the door and walked inside. His footsteps echoed on the hard wooden floor as he strolled slowly into the centre of the hall. He looked around and called out Charlie’s name yet again.

A surge of adrenaline burst within Charlie as he slowly crept out from behind the porch. He moved stealthily towards Dave, feeling his heart in his throat and his stomach tremble nervously as he held the frying pan up like a sword. He did not even think. He then put all the strength he could muster into his two arms, ready to knock the beast out as he pulled back like a slingshot. The room was getting hotter, hotter, hotter as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. He had to tighten his grip as his hands began to sweat.

….

Dave’s arm swung around and knocked the pan out of his hands, crashing loudly onto the floor. Charlie was caught by storm as Dave rugby tackled him to the ground in less than two seconds. His back smashed against the floor and he roared in pain. Dave’s face was scarlet red with rage and his eyes were demonic. ‘’You dirty little bastard!’’ he roared as he attempted to pin Charlie down. ‘’You think you can creep up on me?!’’

Stuck in such a vulnerable position, flashbacks of the cinema date began to appear before Charlie’s eyes. ‘’Nooo!’’ he cried, thumping Dave good and hard in the stomach three times before he dismounted, rolling onto his back, winded and moaning painfully. Breathing frantically, Charlie scurried across the floor towards the pan, which was on the other side of the room. His abdomen ached as he practically crawled on the floor towards his weapon. It seemed so far away.

It was then that he felt Dave grab him by the scruff of the neck. He pulled Charlie up and pressed him against the wall, knocking down a picture of Rachel and Mary, which shattered as it hit the floor. Dave pushed him so hard against the wall that his feet no longer touched the ground. ‘’You think that you can screw with me, eh?’’ roared Dave, his voice raspy as he spewed saliva. ‘’I own you! You are mine!’’ he shrieked.

‘’Yeah,’’ gargled Charlie, barely able to breathe. ‘’L-Let’s see how you like being a — a girl!’’

He then kneed Dave in the testicles as hard as he could. Charlie’s feet hit the floor as Dave fell backwards onto the floor, roaring as the stinging pain in his privates accelerated to extreme heights by the second. ‘’You bastard!’’ he cried. He tried to grab Charlie’s ankle as he ran past him but he missed. His face was so red with fury that he looked like he was going to explode. After a few seconds of basking in pain, Dave got up to see that his prey had vanished. He immediately returned to his fighting stance, raising his fists as he moved through the large hallway. His eyes darted to every part of the room. His breathing was shaky and panicked.

Charlie had become the predator.

Dave moved slowly through the hallway and into the kitchen but he was not there. He went back into the hall, his distress increased by the disturbingly quiet silence. ‘’Come out and fight me like a man, Char — ‘’

BANG! Straight up the jaw, the frying pan walloped him. Dave fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes, knocked out unconscious. Charlie stood over Dave’s lifeless body with his jaw hanging with shock. He dropped the pan to the floor, not blinking for a few moments. His open mouth formed into a smile but it quickly turned serious again as he ran to Dave’s side. He felt his pulse and sighed with relief, naively thinking he might have killed him. He sat there for a few moments to catch his breath. He could not believe it. He actually knocked out a person who was almost twice as big as he was!

However, it was only the beginning. He jumped to his feet and looked down at the body. He already had a nasty looking bruise forming on his jaw line. Feeling rather satisfied with his fighting skills, he wished somebody had witnessed it but then he quickly thought otherwise. He grabbed Dave’s feet and began to pull. He was a guy full of muscle so he rather heavy to lift. He put his back into it, dragged the body down the hall, and stopped outside the basement door, wiping his sweaty forehead with his sleeve before opening the door.

Dave’s head thumped against each step as he dragged him down the wooden stairs into the dark basement. He pulled a cord and all the lights flickered on. He left the body lying in the middle of the basement for a moment as he ran up to the kitchen to get the duct tape.

This is like a dream except it’s actually happening! Charlie thought gleefully.

He wondered how long Dave would stay unconscious before he woke up. He remembered reading that prolonged unconsciousness can cause brain damage. He refused to think that way. He emptied Dave’s pockets by taking his wallet, phone and car keys. To be safe, he worked as fast as he could. He taped Dave’s legs together tightly along with his hands behind his back. He also taped his mouth to stop him from being heard. He pushed the unconscious body into the corner of the basement and threw a blanket over him.

Feeling like a stealthy killer, Charlie took one last look at the body from the top of the stairs before turning off the light and locking the door. He had to move quickly. He did not want anybody finding Dave locked and tied up in the basement. He threw his backpack over his shoulder, locked the house, and took out the silver key for Dave’s house.

Charlie held it up eyelevel, feeling as if it was the key to freedom.

***

THREE MONTHS AGO…

Dave’s car came to a fast halt outside Rachel’s house. ‘’Please we can work this out!’’ he said, desperately clinging to straws.

‘’No, no, that time has long passed!’’ said Rachel, her mannerisms exaggerated and furious.

‘’You know this is all your doing!’’ roared Dave. ‘’If you just told me you love me then -,’’

‘’LOOK JUST BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WHILE DOES NOT MEAN THAT I OWE YOU EVERYTHING!’’ shrieked Rachel, waving her arms about.

Dave thought had just been deafened she had screamed so loud. Her face was red, her eyes were raw, and her makeup was all smudged and messy. Her hair was frazzled and her outfit was no longer neat. She opened the passenger seat door and said in a low threatening tone, ‘’I don’t want you to ever talk to me again! You are a sad, horrible pathetic little man and I will never love you!’’

‘’Rachel ple -,’’

She got out of the car, slammed the door, and stormed down the front path where Charlie stood. ‘’Rachel what happened?’’ he asked, looking innocent and concerned.

‘’Buzz off Charlie!’’ sobbed Rachel.

Dave scowled both of them before slamming his foot on the accelerator. He took off down the cul-de-sac at an almighty speed. The back tyres screeched as he sped out onto the main road. He barely checked for oncoming cars. The speedometer hand was not long in moving up to dangerously high speeds, well, as fast as the car could go. The small engine roared as the fiesta zoomed down the main road, passing out cars by the second. He was way over the limit.

Tears streamed back Dave’s raging red face as his arms stiffened straight like a racecar driver. He roared passionately at the top of his lungs in frustrated pain as the car reached its maximum speed. ‘’ARRRRRRRGH!’’ he roared hoarsely.

‘’I knew that you would never change,’’ said a cold female voice. ‘’Poor Rachel, I know how she feels. I feel sorry for her.’’

He looked in the passenger seat to see that Julie had suddenly appeared. Frightened and shocked beyond feeling, he swerved the car onto the wrong side of the road where an oncoming truck honked loudly in its potentially destructive path. A second away from death, he completely panicked and veered back onto the right side in between two other cars who honked angrily as he wedged in tight between them. The concrete wall tore off the left wing mirror as the fiesta grated against it, causing a thunderous display of sparks.

Completely terrified and shocked, he miraculously straightened his car out and pulled into his estate. He slowly drove up the lane towards his house. His face was a sickly pale. He looked worse than death as he pulled into his driveway.

As always, his father’s car was absent.

He sat in the car with the engine on, staring at the garage door as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. However, he was simply staring into space as the day’s events caught up with his twisted mind. To him, everything seemed so perfect that morning. Rachel was so happy, full of life, and in a deeply romantic mood. She loved the mountainous view of the city but the moment he claimed love it all went completely mad.

He dreaded the thought of losing Rachel especially after the trauma of being dropped by Julie, his first love. He began to cry yet again but this time tears just flowed down his cheeks whilst his expression remained lifeless. They burned his skin like acid. He could not bear losing her. He would not allow it. It is not possible.

Later that evening he sat in his bedroom, lying on the bed as he stared aimlessly into the ceiling. His eyes looked torn, destroyed, and raw. He did not look well at all. He was thinking about Rachel and eventually this led to her twin brother, Charlie. For some reason, he hated him more than ever. He took Julie and now he felt that he was somehow responsible for Rachel’s behaviour too. He felt convinced that Charlie was out to get him, to take away every girlfriend he has and destroy them.

‘’You know it the Smith boys fault,’’ hissed a woman’s voice in his head.

Dave squinted and clenched his hands to the sides of his head like a vice. ‘’No mom! Don’t!’’ he grimaced.

‘’He took your Julie and now he has turned Rachel against you too!’’ said the voice.

‘’No! Go away, GO AWAY!’’ shouted Dave. ‘’You’re not real!’’

Later that night, Dave browsed Facebook, staring at Charlie Smith’s photos, wondering how someone who looked so harmless could really be a deceitful woman robber. He looked at his face. He thought that he could easily pass for Rachel if he had a wig and a bit of makeup. Then Dave wondered why he thought that. He found himself having mixed feelings towards Charlie. The voice in his head told him to hate whilst another stranger side felt compelled to explore new possibilities of getting Rachel back. He looked through more pictures, feeling hate towards some and attraction towards others.

‘’Make Charlie suffer,’’ he said to himself. ‘’Make him suffer by making him my Rachel.’’

He did not know where the prospect had come from. It had suddenly left his lips as though somebody else was speaking for him. Suddenly, he remembered the day when he called over to Rachel’s house and she was not there. He thought he had seen her through her bedroom window jumping on her bed. It looked too much like her. The memory had left his mind up until that point. It was all coming back to him.

‘’Hi Charlie, can I speak to Rachel?’’ asked Dave.
‘’Oh sorry she’s not at home at the moment,’’ said Charlie, nodding his head.
‘’That’s odd,’’ he said coolly, ‘’because I could have sworn that I seen her up in her bedroom through the window.’’
‘’Oh no that wasn’t Rachel,’’ said Charlie, laughing, ‘’that was my cousin Clara. She came over to keep me company while my mother and sister were out of town.’’

Then it hit him. There was no such person as a cousin Clara. Charlie was the one who was jumping on Rachel’s bed in her clothes. It was him! It had to be him. He was so nervous and secretive that day as he hid behind the front door. He was hiding the school uniform. He is a cross-dresser! It hit Dave like a ton of pleasurable bricks as a devious plan carefully formed in his head. Feelings that are even more complex arose when he started to think of Charlie in female clothing. How he would love to see him humiliated whilst satisfying his needs. The opportunities and benefits of blackmail began to seep into Dave’s conscience.

‘’No,’’ said Dave, scoffing of the embarrassingly ridiculous thought. ‘’She has left me. It’s time to move on.’’

Oh if only it was that easy for Dave. He started to become obsessed with Charlie from that point onwards. However, the pain of losing Rachel remained. He felt he would succeed in conquering it once he got rid of the person he felt was responsible, Charlie. Dave began to stalk him everywhere from a distance. He watched his every moved up until a certain fateful moment when he saw his prey enter the tennis courts one evening. It was there that his fantasy was confirmed true.

The benefits were very much in his favour from that day up until now.

***

Even though Charlie knew that Dave’s father had left town for four days, he still had a slight fear of walking into their house uninvited. He worried that he could possibly find someone there. These feelings were natural of course. He was breaking and entering into a private property after all. He stood still in the middle of the kitchen and listened carefully for any other sounds besides the washing machine. There were none. Somehow, he knew the house was empty. He just felt it.

He left the kitchen and climbed the stairs. He could feel his heart racing as the forced thrill of trespassing overcame him. He could feel his skin beginning to moisten with nervous sweat as he crept down the hallway towards Dave’s bedroom. He was not sure if the sweat came because of fear or the fact that he had just ran as fast as he could there.

Thoughts of doubt began to swirl around his mind. Had he tied Dave’s restraints tight enough? Was there somehow a way that he could escape? Would he harm him after his plan succeeded? He had to keep reminding himself that if he did succeed, Dave would have no proof of his cross-dressing ‘’adventures’’, yet he knew well that he would have to find something to counter blackmail Dave.

Charlie walked into Dave’s room, which was much tidier than usual. The dark hardwood aesthetic looked shinier and more polished than ever. The wooden floor was glossier and the rugs around the bed were cleaner. The small study area in the corner was clutter free. The walls no longer had posters of cars, football players, photographs, or drawings. A red beanie bag lay beside the computer desk which was neat and tidy. He noticed that there was a new addition to the room, a small flat screen television resting on a tray beside the bed. The room did not look like a seventeen-year-old boy lived in it anymore. The room could have belonged to a mature adult.

For a moment, Charlie thought that Dave and his father might have swapped rooms but he quickly realised that was not the case when he opened a drawer at random to see young clothes. He immediately began to search the room for evidence of his cross-dressing to destroy and clear his name of any relation with his blackmailer.

He opened the wardrobe first and rummaged through it, flicking through the clothes hanging from the rails in search of a possible hidden box where Dave kept all of the outfits and photographs. He had to keep them hidden somewhere. He moved the wardrobe slightly to look behind it but all he found were cobwebs and crumbled up pieces of paper. Sighing as he wiped his forehead, Charlie walked over to the chest of drawers and searched through each of them vigorously. His attention was caught by something rather curious in the top drawer where Dave kept his socks and underwear.

A pill calendar.

Charlie’s mouth fell open as he picked up the plastic pill holder. Oval, round, circular and tube shaped pills of different colours were mixed into each day of the week. Shocked, he whispered ‘’Oh my god’’ as he ran his fingers over the object. It looked as if it was not used in a while. His mind was suddenly filled with questions without answers. His mind was suddenly full of speculation. He desperately wanted to know why Dave needed to take tablets each day as it potentially could explain a lot of his manic behaviour. Unable to keep still, he could not comprehend the thrilling shock he felt tingling down his spine. He quickly took his phone from his pocket and took a picture of the plastic pill calendar.

He did not have time to speculate further. He had to keep looking.

He sat down at Dave’s computer to see if he could find any blackmailing photographs. He searched through file upon file for some time before he managed to come across over a dozen digital photos of him dressed up in girls’ clothing. He winced as he looked at a picture of him dressed in the school uniform. It was the first one Dave had taken. In the picture, he looked scared and his mouth was open mid sentence. He could remember the story behind it. Dave had just laid eyes on him dressed up as Rachel for the first time and it gave him an erection.

DON’T touch me! If you come near me with that thing I’ll knock your fucking teeth out!

He felt as if his stomach did a black flip as looked back in time, remembering every sentence, every change in Dave’s complicated personality. He clicked delete. The next picture was Dave kissing him on the cheek after the cinema date. He could not stand looking at it for more than a second so he quickly clicked delete. He cringed, swallowed down hurtful emotions, and felt angrily upset as he looked through every photograph. They all brought back painful memories from the time in which it was taken, fear, humiliation, degradation, and hurt. He clicked delete on each one until there was no more.

He gave a weary sigh, wishing that he could feel his weight upon his conscience vanishing but he there was nothing. He still felt the same.

He continued looking around the room. He searched under the bed, taking out plastic boxes filled with junk. He ransacked each box in search of his cross-dressing evidence but all to no avail. He found nothing. He knew that Dave had to be hiding stuff somewhere. He just knew it. Where was he keeping the outfits Charlie had worn? That was the biggest question.

He dug deeper into the depths of the dusty, clutter-filled underbelly of the bed until he found a large white bag. It looked new and did not have speck of dust on it or a mark to its clean white paper. He pulled it out and looked inside, snarling hungrily for evidence. Curiously, inside was a box, a rectangular box. He took it out carefully, placed on the bed, and removed the top. Inside was a pair of false silicone breasts, but not the ones he had worn on the cinema date, but a newer, more realistic pair that looked expensive.

‘’Jeez,’’ Charlie whispered as he touched the unnervingly realistic flesh.

He looked back into the bag to find adhesive, fake tan, lashes and a new makeup set. However, what interested him the most was the receipt, which read:

13/6/12
SWEET SENSATIONS COSTUME HOUSE
Greenhill’s Industrial Estate,
Healy Overpass.

36C Silicone Breasts — 159.45
Prep Wipes — 15.00
Breastform Adhesive — 33.95

The first thought that came to Charlie’s mind as he read where the receipt came from was Prudence, the gothic shop girl he met that day who sold him feminine attire, the girl who used to be a boy, the girl who made him feel okay to be around whilst dressed up. An even greater thought made him wonder why Dave went to all the trouble of not being seen that day yet according to the receipt he was there himself just two days ago. It did not add up. Where was he getting the money to buy such expenses? Why was he buying them? Either he himself was a closet cross-dresser or he was simply upgrading Charlie’s attire. He felt that the latter was more plausible.

He placed the box back into the bag and continued looking around the room. The pill calendar continued to pick at his mind. It was annoying him as his mind soaked up all the juicy information. It made him search faster. It was not long until he had looked through every square inch of the room. He had looked so hard that he had to stop to catch up with his breath. He stood in the middle of the bedroom with his hands behind his head, cursing under his breath, ‘’Come on, Dave. Where are you hiding everything?’’ he muttered angrily.

He figured that he had to look elsewhere in the house. He did not know how long it would take. He was beginning to grow impatient as he felt Dave could possibly escape and catch up to him. He had to keep reassuring himself that the prospect was next to impossible. He reminded himself that his blackmailer was trapped and was unable to do anything about it.

He walked around the bed towards the door when he heard a faint creak from floorboard on which he had stepped. He stopped, wondering if he could have imagined it. He took a step backwards and he heard the same faint creak right below the rug beside the double bed. He smiled to himself, because not only he thought he had found Dave’s stash but also because it was so clichéd that he felt as if he was in a detective movie.

He kicked the rug over, kneeled down and tried to remove the board. After a few moments of his fingers slipping due to short nails, he managed to remove one of the floorboards. Inside was roughly one foot deep and a half foot wide. He could see the blue sweater of the school uniform, dressed in plastic coverings to stop it from getting dirty. He removed the board next to it followed by the next one until he got a full view of the secret stash. He could not help but smile as if he was rapidly solving some complicated puzzle. His eyes feasted as his breath became heavy with resolution.

He wiped his brow and looked down at the secret stash, hidden beneath the floor that separated the two-story house. His eyes trailed over the folded outfits draped over one another in plastic wrappings. He could see the corset, the false breasts, the padded rear, the hips girdle, the makeup sets, the wig, and the shoes that he was forced to wear over the course of the blackmail. It made him feel strangely sad but he knew he would have to destroy it all along with the pictures, texts, messages and the new items. It felt like such a waste but he had to do it so that Dave could no longer hold anything against him.

Charlie cleared out the stash into a black bag. His past self would have almost died if he had seen himself trash the most realistic and expensive breast forms he will ever see. He found photographs, which Dave had taken that day at the tennis court, including various others of Friday night ‘’study’’ sessions. He only glanced at them. He could not bear looking at any more after the torture of seeing the others on the computer. He threw them into the black bag, hoping that they would never see the light of day again.

He then found something rather interesting, a cardboard box of videotapes and DVDs. There was also a small tin box with an etching of a boat on the lid surface. He dropped the bag as his attention focused on the boxes and only them. He looked over his shoulder to see if anybody was there, just in case.

He opened the tin box to see a whole lot of paper stuffed inside. He did not blink for a moment as he took out picture at random. He felt as if he were standing on the edge of a cliff readying hid body to jump. His heart was thumping. He could not contain the guilty excitement of finding out secrets of Dave. He turned over the piece of paper to see…Rachel. Something hit him in the heart as he looked at the photograph. She was smiling, as he had never seen her smile before. She looked genuinely happy as her boyfriend, Dave, kissed her on the cheek. They were both dressed in winter clothing.

Charlie was confused about his feelings towards the picture so he placed it aside and moved onto the next one. There were more pictures of Rachel and Dave, smiling and doing various activities together during their relationship. It made him feel strangely sad. Dave truly looked liked he loved her but then he had to remind himself of what he turned into, a ruthless blackmailing pervert. He found several notes that Rachel had written to Dave during classes at school. They were cheesy love letters that would make one cringe.

He could see someone’s red hair from a photograph poking out from the bottom of the pile. His heart stopped and his eyes stopped blinking. He stared at the photograph wondering — could it be — no! He took out the picture, his mouth opening with shock as he looked at Julie and Dave embracing each other.

‘’Oh my god,’’ gasped Charlie, holding up the picture to his eyes. ‘’Julie!’’

He had no idea that Julie used to be with Dave. It was obviously before he went out with Rachel but still, it came as a huge shock to him. They must have been around fifteen years old in the photograph. They both had their eyes closed as they shared a smiling kiss. The angle was crooked as Dave was holding the camera up himself. Julie’s red hair seemed more vibrant than ever and her freckles were more prominent. She looked very pretty as always. Dave looked human, as though he actually had feelings. It was a rather moving portrait of innocent teen romance.

The picture and the scene in it bewildered Charlie to the very core of his bones. He wondered who broke up with whom. It was 50/50 seeing as Julie proved to be not all that she seemed. Charlie knew this himself after falling for the femme fatale. The hurtful feelings slowly began to well up in his heart again. He rather hoped that it was the other way around. He hoped that Dave was the one who dumped her but then again she would have learned from the painful experience. Julie had done it. She had broken both Charlie and Dave’s hearts, a common pain that they both shared.

No! Charlie thought. I cannot think like that. We are not the same!

There was more to the photograph than meets the eye. Something was written on the back of the picture that caught his attention. He turned it around and read ‘’I hate Charlie Smith!’’ scrawled across the back rather crudely in pencil. It looked as if it was written in pain as the nib of the pencil breaking could clearly be seen at the end.

Quickly, very quickly it was coming into perspective as he stood up, dropping the photo to the ground as his mouth hung open with astonishment. He placed his hands behind his head as his mind raced a million miles a second. It had come to him like a kick in the teeth. Theories, reasons, and revelations formed in his head. It was all too crazy. It was bizarre. Julie did like Charlie all along, Dave hated him because of it, and when he lost his second girlfriend, Rachel, he blackmailed Charlie because he not only wanted to make him suffer for being with his ex but also to fulfil his obsessive relationship with a lookalike girlfriend.

That had to be it!

The pills, the erratic personality changes, the wild mood swings, the delusions and the inability to comprehend right from wrong made Charlie believe that there was a source to everything. All of the evidence painted a picture of mental illness. He could not help but wonder if Dave’s father really knew who his son was. In spite of everything, he did constantly spend his time away at work. Perhaps Dave was just a broken, neglected child with no concept of interacting with people. He was ill, alone, delusional and knocked down by every person he got close to.

***

Kayla walked down the sidewalk of suburbia, dressed casually in a thin black/white striped boat necked sweater, white washed skinny jeans and black converse. Her luscious brunette hair is tied up in a ponytail, bouncing to the movement of her stride. She carried a large black handbag, clenched tightly to her side. She looked rather happy.

She turned and opened the gate of Charlie’s house, walking confidently right up to the front door when suddenly she turned her head to see something rather odd in the driveway. Dave’s car. She squinted to see if it was actually the same car.

‘’Strange?’’ she said as she moved closer.

She looked inside the car. She confirmed that was indeed Dave’s but what was it doing there? Rachel had broken up with him ages ago and he was certainly not friends with her Charlie! All of a sudden, she began to think the worst. She swung her head and looked at the house then back at the car. She strutted up to the door and rang the doorbell, crossing her arms and tapping her foot as waited impatiently. Her excitement in seeing Charlie turned to concern.

Nobody came to the door.

She rang the doorbell again. She kept looking through the frosted glass on the door hoping to see Charlie’s silhouette. She started to knock. ‘’Charlie? It’s me, Kayla! If you’re in there please come to the door!’’. She turned her ear, hoping that she would hear Charlie say something back but there was nothing but silence.

Meanwhile, around the back of the house, the small kitchen window flung open and two burnt hands grabbed the sill. Dave heaved himself up, grunting in pain as the skin of his hands ripped and sizzled under the pressure of his own weight. He fell out of the window, face down onto the concrete patio. He had a fierce look in his eyes that said kill. He pulled himself up off the ground, slamming the window shut. He had to get away quick or the person ringing the doorbell would hear him.

*Ding! Dong! Ding! Dong!*

He started to walk but he fell over again. He looked and felt disorientated. He could hear footsteps approaching from the side of the house.

‘’Shit!’’ he said lowly, picking himself up from the grass.

He started to limp towards the back fence so he could jump over and escape. His genitals ached from the force of Charlie’s knee and his head was killing him from the mighty wallop of the frying pan. Kayla walked out onto the backyard, startled at seeing somebody there. ‘’Dave? Is that you?’’ she called, sounding unsure and a little frightened.

He froze like a statue, gritting his teeth, seething with anger towards the one who trapped him. He closed his eyes, fuming deeply through his nose as his head trembled like a boiling teapot. He was trying to keep calm but struggling due to the lack of pills and security.

‘’Dave?’’ said Kayla a little softer, slowly approaching him as if he were a dangerous beast.

Dave knew he would not be responsible for his actions if he felt Kayla’s hand touch his shoulder. He had no idea how he would react. He would hurt her so badly that she would never speak of it to anyone about it. He wanted to hurt her but this was not the time.

‘’Dave?’’ she asked yet again.

‘’Yes, Kayla. It’s me,’’ he said, finally turning around, smiling charmingly.

‘’Wh — what are you doing here?’’ she asked, sounding alarmed yet probing.

It took a moment for Dave to concoct an excuse. He just chuckled and said, ‘’Didn’t Charlie tell you?’’.

‘’T- Tell me what?’’ said Kayla softly, taking a step back.

‘’That he and I are the best of buddies!’’ Dave said, beaming. ‘’Awh man, I cannot believe he did not tell you!’’ he laughed, nudging Kayla playfully on the shoulder.

‘’Oh my gosh! What the hell happened to your hands?!’’ Kayla shrieked, pulling back and pointing at the burnt, scalded hands.

Dave looked down. The smile had vanished from his face. He had forgotten to hide them behind his back. ‘’Uh — I had a bit of an accident this morning out in the shed when I was — uh — welding a new part for the old car engine!’’ he said, reinstating his manically happy grin.

‘’They’re bleeding!’’ squirmed Kayla, her voice turning squeaky as she raised her hands to her mouth. ‘’You should really go to the hospital!’’

‘’Uh I was just on my way,’’ Dave grimaced as he tried to repress the pain.

‘’Do you want me to call an ambulance?’’ asked Kayla, her eyes sparkling with frightened tears. ‘’You cannot possibly be thinking about driving with your hands in that state?’’

‘’Kayla, its fine, I better get going now anyway,’’ he said, trying to keep his smile as he walked by her. She turned around and watched him leave. His walking was highly uncoordinated. It was as if he was drunk. Kayla looked completely stupefied by the whole thing. She felt she had to help him even if it was the creep she and Rachel bitched about for months.

She took out her phone from her handbag. Instead of calling an ambulance, she rang Rachel. She walked around in circles as she waited for her to pick up the phone. It felt like forever until she eventually picked up. ‘’Is Charlie at home?’’ Rachel asked urgently.

‘’I came over to the house to check up on him just like you asked but no — no he’s not here,’’ said Kayla, placing her fingers on her chin. Rachel’s seriousness and anxiety made her feel incredibly worried over what she once presumed to be nothing more than suspicion.

‘’Shit!’’ cursed Rachel. ‘’I knew we shouldn’t have gone on this stupid spa break. I knew we shouldn’t have left Charlie alone when he was acting so strange!’’

‘’Hey, you told me you liked my present!’’ said Kayla, sounding hurt and offended.

‘’Oh - I do Kayla — but if the dates on the vouchers weren’t during such an awkward time!’’ Rachel reassured her.

‘’He might have just gone out, Rach? Are you sure that you’re not just overreacting?’’ said Kayla, hoping to get around her. ‘’I mean — you’re making me worried now over what is probably nothing.’’

‘’Trust me Kayla. If you had seen the way he was acting over the past week, you’d be worried too!’’ said Rachel. ‘’Something happened at the party that made him be this way.’’

‘’Oh gosh — you don’t think he’d do something stupid do you?’’ said Kayla, her eyes welling up. Rachel did not say anything for a moment. ‘’H-Hello, Rach, are you there?’’

‘’Have you called him?’’ asked Rachel.

‘’Not yet.’’

‘’Well, call me back as soon as you do!’’

‘’But — ‘’

Rachel had hung up before Kayla could say another word. Distraught and confused, she immediately scrolled down to Charlie’s name in her contacts and pressed call. She walked around the side of the house, biting her lower lip anxiously as she waited for him to pick up. Rachel’s suspicious and worried behaviour had made her feel troubled.

Meanwhile, at Dave’s bedroom, Charlie was sitting on the bed staring at the television as he watched each video and DVD from the stash he had found. None of the tapes had tags on them to signify what was on them. He was watching them because he was extremely interested yet he feared of what he might find. He assumed that they would be porn or something worse but they were actually recordings from Dave’s childhood when he mother was around.

She was a beautiful, plump looking woman with an air of class to her mannerisms and dress sense. In the videos, she played with the young boy, laughing and chuckling lovingly as they rolled around the grass. Birthday parties, special occasions, and casual recordings were all that there was. Yet a continuous person in all the clips was Dave’s mother. He could not understand why he should have a reason to be so secretive about a few video tapes of his mother even if she was dead or just gone away. He obviously missed her wherever she was.

‘’So? Where are your parents?’’ asked Charlie
'’My dad works nights. My mom doesn’t live here anymore,’’ said Dave, a sharp glint in his eye.

Vrrrr Vrrrr Vrrrr Vrrrr

Charlie took out his phone. ‘’Not now, Kayla!’’ he said angrily. He pressed decline, put the phone back down on the bed, and pressed play on the remote. On screen was a birthday party from the year 1999.

‘’Are you having a good day?’’ asked Dave’s Mom as she held the camera on her precious birthday boy.
‘’The bestest day ever Mom!’’ said Dave, smiling through his cake covered face.

Charlie’s phone started to ring yet again. He grabbed it furiously, no longer able to ignore it because it irritated him.

‘’Yes?!’’ said Charlie, holding the phone to his ear.

‘’Oh my gosh, thank god you picked up!’’ said Kayla.

‘’Why? Is there something wrong?’’ Charlie asked, standing up from the bed.

‘’No, no, I just thought there was something wrong with you!’’ said Kayla, sounding increasingly more relieved. ‘’Where are you?’’

‘’Why would there be something wrong with me?’’ asked Charlie, half-suspecting that Rachel sent Kayla to check on him. ‘’Wait, where are you?!’’ he asked, hoping that it was not his house.

‘’You tell me first!’’ said Kayla.

‘’I — uh - ,’’ Charlie stuttered, rubbing his eyes as he tried to pick a plausible place, ‘’I’m just in town. Where are you?’’

‘’I’m at your house,’’ said Kayla. Charlie felt like a weight plummeted into his stomach as his entire body froze over like an icy lake. ‘’Dave was here strangely enough. He was acting all weird and creepy. His hands were all burnt and — ugh — it was disgusting. Do you know why he came to the house?’’ Charlie could not form a sentence for a moment so Kayla continued talking. ‘’He just left about five, maybe ten minutes ago. He left his car behind?’’

‘’Kayla, I’ve got to go -,’’ said Charlie, alarmed and scared as he peered through the curtains to get a clear view of the estate. He could see Dave walking towards the house. Oh god! ‘’ — I’ll — uh — I’ll talk to you later. Bye.’’

‘’Oh and Cha — ‘’

His phone ran out of battery but Charlie did not care. He was about to hang up anyway. He ran to the bed. He swept all of the tapes into the black bag when — click! — he heard the front door open from downstairs. He scurried across the room. He did not know where to go or what to do. He ran into the hall and looked around helplessly. He felt a sharp pain in his chest as panic overcame his judgement. He dashed down the hall with the bag of evidence in tow and went into the spare master bedroom.

Charlie could hear the muffled footsteps climbing the stairs. Dave was getting closer, closer, and closer as the thumping of his feet grew louder. His eyes darted to every corner of the master bedroom. He did not know whether he should hide or make a run for it through the window. He scuttled to the sill and looked down. It was excessively high. He would surely break his legs if he tried to jump. He felt powerless.

Dave was now walking down the hall. Charlie looked at the wardrobe and immediately rushed to it. Opening the door, he got inside and stayed still, barely allowing himself to breathe. He was completely engulfed in darkness and silence. He closed his eyes as he tried to control his trembling hands. He concentrated on his hearing, listening to every decibel of sound that came within earshot.

‘’Nooo!’’ Dave roared. It came from the bedroom. He had obviously seen that his secret stash had been raided. ‘’Arrrrrrrrgh!’’ he cried monstrously. Charlie flinched, trying to stop himself from breaking down as he listened to the violent sounds echo down the hallway. He put his hand over his mouth, shaking as he shut his eyes, terrified beyond feeling. The next thing he could hear was glass smashing against the wall, tearing, kicking of heavy objects, thumping, bashing and outright havoc.

Then, there was silence.

Dave left his room and ran down the stairs. Charlie tried to build up all of the courage he could muster so he could leave the wardrobe and make a run for it but nothing was coming. He was stunned with terror. He could literally not move a muscle yet he was trembling. He had never experienced such horror in his life because of everything that came before it and the terrible consequences that could follow if found.

Images of experiences with Dave began to circulate in his mind once again as he listened to his footsteps rapidly running up the stairs. He felt like he was pulling that last straw when he started to pray. Please, please get me out of here! He thought. He could see Dave enter the room through the slits on the door. He was huffing and puffing like a gruesome bull, ready to attack. His shoulders were hunched and his arms were out in a fighting position. His face was moist with sweat, his eyes were watery with frustration, and his posture reeked of vulnerability. The anger on his face looked forced and broken as if he was trying to hide his fear.

He was getting closer to the wardrobe. It was nightmarish. He wanted to prepare himself to jump out of the closet and viciously attack Dave but he could not do so. His nerves were completely shot. He felt as if he was having heart palpations as a sharp pain struck the very breath from his body. He could not breathe.

He could feel Dave watching him from the other side of the door as his eyes came into view through the slits. They were filled with lustful malice.

‘’Found you,’’ he said, sounding as if they were simply playing a game.

***

The moon shines mysteriously from behind the black clouds as a slight chill enters the summer night breeze. The time is just past midnight, 12:07 to be precise. Most of suburbia is either fast asleep or up watching television. It is a quiet night.

Meanwhile, a red car pulls up outside Dave’s house beneath a buzzing streetlamp. Inside is Richard, a rather plump but well built middle-aged man. Beside him in the passenger seat is his daughter, Kayla.

‘’Please god, let him know where he is,’’ Richard said, turning the engine off.

Kayla did not say a word. Her head was resting on her hand as she stared out her window. Her eyes were teary and her expression was pale. She was distraught.

Richard got out of the car, walked up to the front door, and rang the doorbell. He stood down off the porch and waited. It took a few moments but Dave came to the door and opened it. He was in his dressing robe and looked as if had just been woken up.

‘’Hello, David, sorry to wake you,’’ said Richard.

‘’No, no don’t worry about it! Is everything okay?’’ said Dave, sounding both welcoming and concerned.

‘’Actually no,’’ said Richard. ‘’I’m calling by to ask you if you have heard anything from Charlie Smith today.’’

‘’Why what has happened?’’ asked Dave, apprehensively. ‘’Is he okay?’’

‘’We do not know that’s the problem. He’s gone missing,’’ said Richard in a straightforwardly manner.

Dave’s face fell as he looked away for a moment, ‘’Missing?’’ he said in disbelief.

‘’I take it that you haven’t seen him then?’’ said Richard, let down and disappointed.

‘’No — I — I uh called by earlier because I needed to see him about something but he wasn’t there,’’ said Dave, his eyes alight with worry.

‘’Yes I know, my daughter told me everything,’’ said Richard, nodding. ‘’Well good night and sorry to bother you at such a late hour.’’

Richard turned away but Dave who followed him outside onto the path stopped him. ‘’Have you told Rachel and Mary?’’ he asked, still sounding anxious. ‘’I mean I’m sure they would like to k — ‘’

‘’Of course we have,’’ said Richard, ‘’They’re on their way home as we speak.’’

‘’If there is anything I can do to help just please let me know, will you?’’ said Dave.

‘’Of course, but I’m afraid there’s nothing anybody can do until we find out where he has gone to,’’ said Richard, clearly wanting to move on.

‘’What about the cops?’’ said Dave. ‘’Can they not do something?’’

Richard sighed and looked at Dave, ‘’I am a cop, David and by the looks of this, if Charlie doesn’t turn up within the next twelve hours, I’ll have to take this down to the station and file a missing persons report,’’ he said wearily. ‘’But please god, let us not hope that will be the case.’’

‘’I’m sure he’ll turn up,’' said Dave.

‘’Good night to you Mr. O’Donnell,’’ said Richard, turning and walking back to his car.

Dave stood in the doorway and watched Kayla cry out in despair as her father comforted her. The red car then drove away down the cul-de-sac. ‘’What a lousy cop,’’ he mumbled before turning back into his house. He took his heavily bandaged hands out from his pocket, locked the door, and walked through the dark hall and up the stairs where the faint sound of rock music echoed from his bedroom.

He walked into his room, humming to the music playing on low volume from his computer as he shut the door behind him. He turned and looked at at where he kept Charlie, draped across a beanie bag almost completely passed out. He was almost unrecognisable. Dave had been transforming him while he in a drug induced state of mind.

Every hair on his body was now completely gone, revealing a new layer of clear, silky smooth skin. His eyebrows were thinner and slightly arched. His lips seemed slightly plumper and his nose looked thinner due to the makeup on his face. He was wearing the soft, wavy brunette wig with the long bob and his lashes looked thick and fluttery. The expensive silicone breasts, which he had found earlier, were now superimposed onto his chest by adhesive. There were literally no lines. They looked like they were an actual part of his body. A black satin padded bra with lace trimmings around the edge held them up nice of firmly. He wore a white tank top with thin straps and a small pink bow on the rim of the neckline. His figure was feminized by the corset clinch around his abdomen, the padded rear and hips girdle beneath pink polka dotted pyjama bottoms.

Dave walked over to Charlie whose head was moving ever so slightly. ‘’Oh Rachel,’’ he said softly, positioning himself on a stool beside the beanie bag. ‘’Looks like we’ll have to leave sooner than expected.’’ He picked up a case of false nails and took Charlie’s hand into his. ‘’It’s exciting though isn’t it? Running away, being together with one another forever. It will be sweet,’’ he said, applying glue to the forefinger. ‘’We have my father’s money, my car, and our love, what more could we need?’’ he said, smiling as he applied the false nail. ‘’We can go cross-country; find a place to stay until we can rent next year. We can find work. I could go into construction — I dunno — and maybe you could get a temp job as a secretary or waitress or something like that.’’

He did not say anything for a few minutes. He just stared at Charlie who was the complete image of Rachel. Dave had never looked more content in his life as he leaned in kissed Charlie on the lips. He let out a little breath of satisfaction as he pulled away and began to glue the middle finger. ‘’Who knows — I mean — maybe this time next year we could even get married when we’re both eighteen but I’m in no particular rush yet,’’ he said, chuckling. He stopped talking for a few minutes as he finished the right hand.

Moving onto the left, he looked back into Charlie’s face. ‘’You are so beautiful you know that? I’d say that you are the prettiest girl in the world,’’ said Dave, stroking the inside of Charlie’s thigh. ‘’I can remember when I first realised that we were meant to be together. You were stranded outside school, all alone and helpless. Your mom hadn’t picked you up from school,’’ he said, smiling nostalgically. ‘’The weather was awful so I pulled up in my crappy little Ford Fiesta. I wish I had a better car to impress you but uh I think you were just happy to have a ride home. I remember thinking just how beautiful you were despite being completely soaked,’’ smiled Dave, pausing for a moment before looking at Charlie again, ‘’and every day after that, you came to and from school with me.’’

There was silence until Dave finished working applying, painting, and sharpening Charlie’s nails. He let out a long yawn as he looked up at the clock. It was almost two o’clock in the morning. He got up from his stool, walked over to the computer, and shut it down. Surrounding the wardrobe was a load of bags and a large suitcase, which was to be taken on the trip the next morning. ‘’I think it is time we got a little rest before out long journey in a few hours time,’’ said Dave, walking over to the passed out body of Charlie. He lifted him up and carried him over to the double bed. ‘’I think we would want to be leaving at around five when it starts to get bright,’’ he whispered, placing Charlie under the blankets.

He completely stripped down to his boxer shorts, turned off the light and climbed in under the blankets beside Charlie. He curled up next to him, wrapping his arm snugly around him in a spooning position. The realistic smell of the wig made Dave feel completely relaxed as moved up against his ‘’girlfriend’’ and kissed her on the cheek.

‘’Tomorrow we begin our new lives together,’’ whispered Dave. ‘’Good night, Rachel. I love you.’’

SUMMARY: Dave has kidnapped Charlie with the intent of turning his into his precious girlfriend forever. As our hero unwillingly travels across the country, he will fall into his most vulnerable and fragile state yet.

Charlie never wanted to move again. He felt like a statue. He felt that if he lifted a single finger, there would be a strong chance that he would die. The inside of his head felt numb, as though his brain was covered in confining gel, trapping all thought, memory, and emotion from escaping beyond his lips and bodily expressions. Everything around the perimeter of his sight was dark yet the centre was too bright like a distorted Super 8 film. He could hear music. It unsettled his stomach. There was also the dreaded voice of Dave, talking away in full conversation with someone who was not responding.

There was a pause for a moment before he felt something soft press against his lips followed by a low ringing in his ear that made him squirm. Dave’s voice became deformed and distant from his consciousness slowly. ‘’You are so beautiful, you know that?’’ he said, his voice sounding like a warped record. ‘’I’d say you are the prettiest girl in the world.’’ The next thing he knew, (or did not exactly), he felt encased beneath heavy blankets, and the constrictive feeling of large arms and legs wrapped around his humid body. Something tenderly gnawed his neck. Echoed moans and grunts of ecstasy filled his ears like water escaping. He kept hearing the words, ‘’Good night, Rachel. I love you.’’ repeatedly.

He curled up in a defensive ball, feeling an uncomfortable stiffness form in between his legs. Horrible pleasure engulfed his body, forcing his hairs to stand erect. Goosebumps formed as an electric shiver shot down his spine like a smooth lightning bolt. He could feel something strange whisk inside him, something he had never felt before, something alien. He could not comprehend what it might be but it was magnificent. The stiffness between his legs became too much and he gasped blissfully to obey he hungry body.

Everything became too hot, too sweaty, and too mysterious. He was in hell. The sounds of nails clenching against fabric and the tiresome moans grew louder. Breathing, panting, restrictions, and the uncomfortable physicality’s were too much for his state of trance. What was going on, where was he and how did he get there? He did not feel scared. He did not feel anything and that was worse than fear. Nothingness.

Time happened, yet not at all exactly, when he suddenly felt bare, alone, and naked in the dark for what felt like forever. He vaguely remembered a horrible acidy taste on his tongue. He could now hear nothing but his own organs; his heart, his lungs, stomach, and ears.

Then, his legs were suddenly encased in softness as was the rest of his body. His head flung back and forth as brightness started to enter his domain once again. It burned. He could not breathe. He was not sure if he was standing up or lying down. He spoke but got no response. He was not sure if the sentence had even left his mind.

He could feel soft fabrics brush against his skin. It felt like climbing into a fresh bed after a warm shower. He breathed in but did not breathe out. Something was clenching his stomach, squeezing harder and aggressively. The sound of a zipper tightening something around his hips and the weight of something form on his chest satisfied him yet scared him more. He could feel himself slowly drifting back into what he remembered as living consciousness. Where had he gone to?

His vision was blurred and out of focus. He felt sure he was standing upright but he did not know what was holding him up. He could see the colours brown, cream, and ruby red mixed as they swirled into shapes. Every bit of oxygen in his lungs was pulled out of his body with belligerent tugs at his abdomen. He tried to speak again but not a single articulate sound passed his lips.

Each tug made his vision clearer. The ruby red formed into a pair of velvet high heels, HIS own high heels that were on HIS feet. He never remembered putting them on. The cream formed into a white satin bra, HIS bra that held up HIS silicone breasts, which now seemed to be part of his body. The brown was in fact long luscious hair hanging from HIS head, tickling his bare shoulders and the sides of his face. Feeling had returned to him once more and it felt strange.

His head flung back and he looked up at the ceiling where he was blinded by what must have been a light bulb. ‘’S — S — Stop,’’ he managed to say, slurred and disorientated. Simply speaking cost him too much energy. He could feel and hear blood rushing to his head. He confirmed that the pressure inflicted on his waist was a corset. It soon stopped and he immediately fell backwards into someone’s arms. He could feel his heart thumping and his brain melting down. ‘’Woah,’’ he sighed, before everything turned black.

‘’Rachel,’’ whispered Dave’s voice in his ear, ‘’Rachel, open your eyes.’’

Charlie half-opened his eyes, unsure of how much time had passed. He was standing in front of a girl being caressed by a boy standing behind her with his head over her shoulder. The girl was very pretty and was dressed rather elegantly. She wore her wavy brunette hair down over her shoulders with her bob down over her forehead. She wore a cream three-quartered sleeve blouse with a long pussy bow hanging from the v-neck. The blouse was tucked into a mustard coloured high waist peplum skirt, which hugged her hips tight and lengthened half way down her thighs. Her legs were smothered in thick black tights and her feet were donned with a pair of ruby velvet chic heels.

It took him a few bedazzled moments to realise that he was looking at his own reflection and the ‘boyfriend’ was in fact Dave who stood behind him with his arms wrapped around his corseted waist. How did he get there? Why was he there? Moreover, why could he not remember anything? He did not have the energy to panic. He was full sure that he was drugged.

‘’It’s time to go, honey,’’ Dave said, kissing his cheek.

The next thing Charlie knew, he was being rushed to the car. He felt so puzzled at everything that his head was swimming with painful confusion. The only thing he definitely knew for sure was that he was very thirsty. He could barely think let alone walk properly so he had to be carried to the car. Dave placed him in the front seat and ran back into the house. It was dawn and the sun was just beginning to rise up from beneath the horizon, casting a beautiful morning sky of colour and wonder.

Charlie felt as if he wanted to cry as he turned his head towards the window. The purple and red colours of the sky entranced and moved him beyond emotion as if he would never see anything more amazing again. He could hear his heart beating in his ear as he panted heavily. He had never felt so out of the world before. He could not understand it.

Everything outside the car began to disappear and form into strange and unknown country roads. He could feel but not think rationally which frustrated his temporarily weakened mind. He did not realise where he was. He could not know the horrible consequences of being in that passenger seat at that very moment. He could not comprehend that he was being taken away by a lunatic and was to be made into his lover girl. Forever.

***

Charlie began to hear once again. He was beginning to return to consciousness at last. He could hear the low rumbling of a car and the faint rattle of something loose in the trunk. He did not open his eyes for a few moments. He exhaled and licked his lips. They were coated with something soft and glossy. His tongue also tasted rather strange. He confirmed that he must have been in a car. He felt very uncomfortable so he gently repositioned his rear on the cushioned seat as his eyes gradually flickered open. He could feel his lashes flutter. They felt longer and thicker.

It took time for his vision to focus. In front of him was a dashboard and windscreen with a long and narrow road on the other side. He turned his head, feeling long strands of hair tickle his face and annoy his vision. He brushed it back and looked out the passenger window. He felt numb and tired. Simply moving caused him a great amount of effort and energy.

All he could see from the passenger window was miles of fields that stretched out over the horizon without end. The sky was almost cloudless with the exception of faint wisps of white that were scattered across the blue. He had never seen the place before. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. However, he did not panic. He had never felt so drained of life before. He felt frail, weak, and helpless. His throat was dry and he felt very dehydrated. He coughed.

‘’Ah you’re awake,’’ said Dave.

Charlie’s hair whipped over his shoulder as he quickly turned his head to the driver seat. There was Dave, wearing aviator sunglasses, a summery blue shirt with tanned chinos. His window was rolled down halfway, allowing the breeze to freshen up the inside of the car.

‘’Yes, I’m awake,’’ said Charlie in his regular male voice. He felt as if he had just skipped time within the blink of an eye. The last thing he remembered was dashing through the corridors of Dave’s house, anxiously seeking out a place to hide from his captor. Fear started to return to his mindset, causing him to feel a dreadful queasiness in his stomach.

He looked in the rear-view mirror to see stacked piles suitcases and bags in the backseat. Restlessness was beginning to dawn upon him and it did not churn well with his growing fear. Suddenly, a memory cropped up in his mind. A memory that felt lost, almost like déjá  vu or something from a long forgotten dream.

It’s exciting though isn’t it? Running away, being together with one another forever. It will be sweet.

He recalled Dave saying it but he could not remember when. He quickly drew his own horrifying conclusions and deducted that he was not just simply going away for just the weekend but for a long, long time. He tried not to panic. He wasn’t even sure if he could because of his weakened state.

‘’Somebody sure does like their sleep!’’ remarked Dave, all cheery and nice.

‘’Yes,’’ said Charlie, noticing the tight constraint on his abdomen.

He felt the after effects of some sort of a substance. He thought he might have been drugged. Yes, he was full sure that was what happened. He looked down and saw cleavage showing through a loose v-necked blouse with a long pussy bow. He felt stunned for a moment as he peeked beneath the garment. There he saw the new silicone breasts he had found under the bed, now glued to his chest, with the lines barely visible, encased in a tight cream push up bra. He gulped, swallowing the last bit of saliva in his dried up mouth. He felt embarrassed. He placed both his hands on his waist. He could feel the hourglass shape from the constrictive corset he wore, which seemed tighter than ever.

He continued to examine his body. The high waist sequin peplum skirt, mustard in colour and rather short, crawled down from his belly button to his mid thigh. It was rather tight around his hips and rear girdle, which he could feel uncomfortably beneath the skirt. The underwear was no different. In fact, he felt like he was not wearing any at all. The black tights were thick and softer against his skin than usual. He was hairless.

‘’Since when did you check yourself out like that?’’ Dave said jokingly, briefly taking his eye off the road.

‘’Sorry,’’ said Charlie, resuming his breathy feminine voice.

‘’You don’t have to apologise to me,’’ said Dave, chuckling.

Charlie almost apologised again so he decided it was best to remain silent whilst he gathered his thoughts together.

‘’Do you like the outfit?’’ asked Dave.

‘’Um — sure — I mean yes, I love it,’’ said Charlie. Of course, he was lying. He hated it and he hated seeing himself wearing it even more. What troubled him was how Dave actually got the outfit. It was not in the secret stash nor was it hidden anywhere in the house when he ransacked every inch in search of counter evidence. It looked vaguely familiar but he could not remember where he seen it before. ‘’Where did you get it?’’ Charlie added inquisitively.

‘’I bought it for you in town ages ago. I thought I’d surprise you,’’ said Dave.

Charlie did not believe him. ‘’Well I’m surprised,’’ he said, feeling genuinely shocked. ‘’I didn’t expect to be dressed in it without knowing in the first place.’’

Dave simply smiled as he continued to look at the road ahead. They were still travelling along the straight stretch of road through the middle of nowhere at a rather hefty speed. In the distance was a large forest but it was clearly miles away. There was no sign of a single bend or turn in the road. They had yet to meet another vehicle. They were truly isolated.

Charlie let his head fall back in the seat. He tried to think about how he got there and the last thing he remembered. It felt so strange. He had no idea how long he was out nor did he remember much before that. He closed his eyes and thought hard. He could vaguely remember hiding in the wardrobe but now he felt unsure if that actually happened. His memory was clogged and very hazy. He felt as if the memories were within grasp but he could not touch on them. It was almost like trying to remember something tiny from years ago.

Suddenly, the nightmarish image of the malicious crazed eyes looking right at him through door cracks returned to memory. ‘’Found you,’’ said Dave coldly. The crippling and paralytic terror returned to him right there in the car. The moment had hit him and it felt like an icy wave. He opened his eyes wide in an attempt to flush the horrifying memory out but it remained in his conscious, stabbing and tearing at his feelings. He was being kidnapped, taken away from everyone to live a life with Dave as his girlish lover. He felt as if he was just given a death sentence.

Charlie looked over at Dave who never looked happier as he hummed a merry tune and tapped steering wheel with his fingers to the rhythm. He did not notice but he started to breathe more rapidly as he looked at the happy driver. He felt extremely weak, intimidated, and most all, vulnerable by being in the same car as his kidnapper. He wanted to get out. He felt claustrophobic as his entire body over boiled with horror. His instinct immediately forced his hand towards the door handle but he quickly realised that he could not escape from a car driving at nearly one hundred kilometres an hour!

‘’Ahh,’’ sighed Dave, turning the radio on. Where Did You Sleep Last Night. ‘’What a perfect day to start our new lives together, eh?’’

Charlie could feel the bottom of his life fall from beneath him. An oncoming sensation built up within and it smelled and tasted like death. The car suddenly became a broiling and claustrophobic case of pain that he could not break free from.

‘’Hey, you okay?’’ Dave asked, his eyes darting from the road to Charlie. ‘’You don’t look so good.’’

Charlie slowly turned away, feeling as if something inside him was about to explode. His eyes stared widely at the wing mirror where he could see his girlish reflection. His long lashes, his flawless complexion, and his plump red lips. There was no escape. He swallowed down a painful lump in his throat, making his eyes sting with tears.

It was over. There was no going back. He felt he had lost the battle and was finally broken. He knew he could not be manipulated and changed any further. He felt the warm hotness of grief spill from his eyes and slide down his trembling cheeks. Through the blur, he could see the green fields roll by as the car zoomed down the straight road towards the distant forest. He could feel his entire body tense into a tight corpse of shock. He squeezed his eyes shut, and a strong wave of pain hit him, working its way up from his gut to spread to the ends of his fingertips and down his legs.

He felt like his brain was on fire as he burst out in tragic sobs. He closed his eyes as his head slowly leaned in against the window. He could hear Dave asking what was wrong but his voice seemed a million miles away. He cried his heart out as he unleashed months of pent up feelings. ‘’It’s o-over,’’ he sobbed. ‘’It’s g-gone.’’ He was sick of being put down and losing all the time. He felt it was time to give in and it really upset him. He wanted to go home to his family and friends.

Dave kept asking what was wrong until he finally decided to stop the car.

Charlie could feel the blood rushing to his head as boiling hot tears burned through his makeup. He could not control the erratic trembling in his hands and knees. It was as if his repressed feelings had broken out and completely taken over his body.

‘’Baby, please, please tell me what’s wrong!’’ plead Dave, unable to cope within such an intense environment.

Charlie did not make a sound for a moment. He held in his breath, as his head bopped up and down like a bird. He sounded like he was hyperventilating as his crying slowly started to sound like giggling, yet, it was too difficult for one to tell. Many people who cried sounded like they were laughing.

Dave looked unsure of what to do or how to react to what he was hearing. He even looked a little scared. ‘’What — you — are you — are you laughing at me?’’ he asked, bewildered. He began to feel frustrated when Charlie did not respond. ‘’Stop it!’’ he snapped, moving away like a frightened child. ‘’Stop laughing!’’

Charlie could not hold it much longer. He spluttered out in fits of manic cackling as if he had just heard a hilarious joke while in a quite classroom. He slowly rolled over in his seat with his arms wrapped around his sides as he faced the driver’s seat. Gathering up of the breath in his lungs, he began to laugh at the top of his voice, staring deep into Dave’s horrified eyes.

‘’What’s happened to you?’’ asked Dave, frightened and disturbed as his hands scuttled for the door handle.

Dave leaned up against the door, clumsily falling out when he pulled the handle. It was as if there was a ticking time bomb inside, ready to blow up any second. He picked himself up and scurried around to the front bonnet spreading a dusty could. As he watched Charlie laugh to himself in the car, he threw his hands up to his head and pulled at his hair anxiously. He had no idea what to do as he watched at his favourite toy ‘’malfunction’’ before his eyes. ‘’What happened?!’’ he asked himself repeatedly. ‘’Tell me what is wrong with you!’’

Charlie had lost himself at that instant when he discovered his entire life now belonged to Dave. He was beginning to feel just like a hallow shell, empty with nothing to root for anymore. As he laughed like a lunatic, he carved every part of his self-out and now all that was left was the feminine disguise he wore. He felt beyond saving. He was too far away from home. He was too far from the people he loved, his mother Mary, his sister Rachel, and even Kayla.

His laughing eventually died down as it cost him a great amount of energy. All he could hear was a piercing ring in his ear, as if his manic cackling had damaged his eardrums. He felt a million miles away. He lay curled up in his seat, lifeless, as he ignored everything around him. He could do nothing but bask in pure despair at that moment before rational thinking returned to him.

Dave stayed put outside of the car until his ‘’girlfriend’’ calmed down. He paced up and down the road without going too far. There was nothing to see but green land, crop fields, blue skies and the long never-ending road before him. A gentle and calming breeze flowed through the air. He strolled back towards the car, suggesting, ‘’Honey, maybe you should come outside and get a little fresh air?’’ he said. He waited for a few seconds without reply, grimaced, and swung around angrily, strutting away from the car.

Charlie began to chew on his thumb, grinding the nail against his lower set of teeth as his stomach gurgled with hunger. He gazed at the gearbox as he lifted his tight covered legs up onto the seat and curled them into a foetal position. A shot of pain ran down his abdomen from the tight corset and his underwear sunk into uncomfortable places but he didn’t take much notice as he felt much worse in other places.

He mapped out some possible escape options in his mind but he soon came to the crushing conclusion that there was none. He was in the middle of nowhere. He knew he had two impossible choices that he had to face. The first was to walk away from the blackmail and face the consequences of everybody knowing what had happened, who he was, and what he had done. The second choice was to avoid all of the shame, embarrassment, and pain to go start a new life as Dave’s girlfriend. To live life as a woman.

Just to think about the choices made him feel sick and nauseated. Both were equally frightening and complex. He could never feel sure that his family, friends, and the public would accept him after hearing his story if he walked away from the blackmail. He felt he could not face the life destroying results and he was unsure if the risk would be worth it. How could he possibly tell everyone that he had been leading a secret life with his sister’s ex-boyfriend?

He buried his face in his hands. It hurt his head to think about the penalties in revealing his true self. He felt certain that people would assume he was some sort of a freak who lied about everything and actually had a true homosexual relationship with Dave. He felt convinced that his mother and sister would never look at him the same again even if they tried to live normally. It just was not that kind of society.

He suddenly remembered when Kayla called him the previous day. She was at his house and seen Dave’s car. The dreaded thought fell upon him like a ton of bricks. He knew it would not be long before everybody back home would eventually connect the dots. He and Dave would eventually be classed as missing persons so speculation would arise. He cringed and buried his face in his hands.

I have destroyed my life. He thought.

Everything he experienced up to that point, all of the pain, fear and depression was a result of that fateful day when he decided to try on the school uniform in his sister’s bedroom. He never felt so much regret in his life. He felt that being in that car at that precise moment could have been easily avoided on many occasions. He knew that. He could have just faced the situation and allow the world to see him for who he really was before being discovered by a blackmailing lunatic. He could have backed out and stopped cross-dressing but no, he had to give into his desires. He could have just left the house straight after finding the secret stash but instead curiosity got the better of him and he remained to gain knowledge of Dave’s past. He felt stupid for doing that. In hindsight, he repented everything he had ever done.

He sat upright and kicked the living daylights out of the car floor with his heels, spewing his frustration as he unleashed a furious tantrum. A sharp pain in his abdomen forced him to stop immediately as he grabbed his stomach, realising that the corset beneath his blouse was causing him much pain. He stayed still to catch his breath before letting his head fall back in the seat. His wig got in the way of his vision. He wished to take it off but he feared Dave would harm him.

Charlie gazed into the distance where he could see his captor pacing around amongst the warm hazy blur. Judging by Dave’s body language, he looked unsettled, distressed, and worried. Then, a black feeling arose within him. His eyes shot in the direction of the ignition. He leaned over across to the driver’s seat and looked under the steering wheel to see that the keys were still there.

A horrible, deathly thought popped into his head. He looked up again to see that Dave was still a good deal away from the car. He sat up, biting his lower lip whilst looking at the driver’s seat through the corner of his eye. A dangerous temptation was swelling up inside him. The palms of his hands began to sweat anxiously and the car was beginning to feel like a sauna.

Then, his tempted feelings persuaded him to move over into the driver’s seat. He did so with great difficulty because of his tight, constrictive skirt but he managed to position himself comfortably in the seat. His heart rate rose to overwhelming heights as the hairs stood up on the back of his neck. He gripped the steering wheel tight, feeling the odd sensation of long pointed nails in a sweaty clenched fist.

He looked straight ahead at Dave who was still pacing around in the circles. He was helpless and had nowhere to run, the perfect target to hit. Charlie lowered his right hand to the keys, trembling as he placed his foot on the clutch. He kept his eyes fixed on Dave the the entire time. His hand was ready to twist the key when suddenly he froze over like ice. He knew he would not be able to do it but he continued to try nevertheless. He tried to put all the will his body could muster into his fingers but nothing happened. Sweat began to roll down his forehead as his heart pounded fiercely. He wanted to start up the car and charge towards Dave and kill him but he could not do it because of a very simple reason. He was not a murderer.

He gasped for breath, as he broke free of his stiff adrenaline shock. His head rested against the steering wheel as the piercing ringing noise returned to his ears. He was in an impossible situation, a game of choices, and a chasm of despair. He felt it deep in his heart and it was beginning to take toll on his conscience.

His spirit was breaking further.

He believed that there was literally no way out anymore because, either way, his family, friends, and acquaintances would find out what he really was. A hapless cross-dresser with nothing to show for it. He knew they would find out, of course they would, if not immediately then eventually, but it would inevitably happen as long as the blackmailer remained in the equation. Yet still, he could not bring himself to remove Dave from his life because he was not a bad person. He wished he could be more ruthless.

He needed to get out of the car and into the cool fresh air because there was nothing but terrible vibes inside the metal vehicle. He opened the door and got out, struggling with the snug skirt, and straining under the pressure of the corset. He stood up on his own two feet for the first time in almost a day. Immediately, his lungs were filled with the fresh country air and the scent of cool, green grass replenished his heavy conscience. He could feel the paths of tears on his face dry up as he straightened out his skirt.

He felt a little lightheaded as he took a step forward onto the road, inhaling as much oxygen as possible. The red heels he wore didn’t exactly help him to stand upright or even comfortably as they squeezed tightly on his toes. He was lacking a great amount of vigour. He could not help but wonder what Dave used on him to knock him out for such a long time. He crossed his arms tight below his breasts as he walked contemplatively into the middle of the road. The warm summer breeze cleared his mind and soul to a certain extent. The wind ran through through his long flowing hair and caressed his skin like a smooth, velvety blanket. It was as if the earth was comforting him. He stopped, turned in the direction towards home and raised his head in the direction of home. He gazed intently at the seemingly infinite road.

He felt like breaking down once again, however, he held back strong and swallowed down the hurt as he had been doing over the past few months. He had done enough crying for the day. He was not used to it. He breathed in as he searched for an end in the road. He naively hoped that he would see his mother and sister, walking towards him to take him away, and for a moment, he thought he did. His heart ached terribly, whimpering like a hurt child. He did not want to experience the feeling of letting go. He felt selfish for the way he was acting. ’I’m sorry for everything,’’ he said under his breath. ‘’I’m sorry about me.’’

Dave was standing behind his shoulder, like the devil, seducing him to turn his back on home. ‘’Charlie,’’ said Dave. ‘’I have known who you really were since day one.’’

Charlie could feel the hairs stand up on his arms. Dave had never called him by his real name before. It sounded odd when he said it in his deep, cold voice. ‘’Who am I, Dave?’’ said Charlie, lost in distance, not turning around to face him.

‘’You are a girl. I can see her in you and she is beautiful like your sister,’’ said Dave affectionately. He paused for a few seconds, as he felt unsure if he should speak further. However, he did. ‘’When I look at you, I am looking at a beautiful girl, when I touch you, I am touching a girl, and when I kiss you, I am kissing a girl because she is there, deep within. You just don’t know it yet. It sounds stupid, I know, but — but do you know why I feel this way?’’

Charlie felt uncertain about speaking his mind at that precise moment. ‘’Because you’re an insane lunatic?!’’ he spat, the words reluctantly escaping his lips.

Dave completely ignored the response and sighed, looking around the green land attentively for a moment. ‘’No, Charlie, because you are a girl. You keep denying it but you know deep down that you are. Think about how happy you were that day you tried on the school uniform. I seen it myself, you were jumping on that bed as if it were cloud nine!’’

Charlie did not know what to think but he could feel Dave’s words having a profound effect on his mind as well as his heart. Strange, why would that be? He felt as if something inside him was crying out and mourning to join the other side. It scared him. ‘’It was just a phase! Nothing more than a curious desire,’’ stated Charlie defensively. ‘’I probably would have never dressed up again if you had not caught me and blackmailed me to do it over and over again!’’

‘’Say what you want but you know I’m right,’’ said Dave.

Charlie was beginning to feel extremely angry towards Dave. He hated the way he was talking, acting, and above all else, prying into his business. Being calm and caring was not usually his forte. ‘’So what — you think by dragging out some imaginary person inside me that that will make me want to run away with you?’’ scoffed Charlie, his back still turned. ‘’You’re mad,’’ he said, shaking his head as his eyes welled up, ‘’absolutely insane.’’ He was crumbling because he knew Dave was cutting deep into areas that he held extremely close to him.

‘’Do you really think if you went home that you would be any happier? You would be miserable because you would be trapped, unable to express and show your true self,’’ said Dave, beginning to circle around Charlie, staring into his eyes. ‘’And so what if you get a few hours every once in a while to dress up. You know it won’t be enough -,’’

‘’Shut up! Just shut up and stop talking!’’ interjected Charlie, his face turning scarlet. ‘’You think you know what you’re talking about but you have no idea — absolutely none! Who I am is none of your business so - so fuck off!’’ he screamed. He crossed his arms and walked further up the road in an unintentionally feminine fashion. He could not believe what he had just said. He felt unsure if he actually said it at all. A few minutes ago, he was utterly petrified of Dave but as soon as he pried into his personal feelings, he took guard and made sure he would not take advantage of him.

He stopped walking when he was far enough from Dave. His high-heeled feet ached and his knees wobbled with exhaustion. Everything Dave said began to sink in and it troubled him because it made sense. Nobody had ever spoken to him like the way Dave just did and it affected him deeply. He quickly brushed off the thoughts and reassured himself that he could not possibly be transgendered, not a chance. His dressing up was merely a curiosity if not an obsession at worst.

He could hear Dave’s heavy footsteps approach him from behind. They did not talk for a few seconds.

Charlie felt his eyes beginning to well up once again as he started to consider the ‘’confession’’ option. ‘’L-Let’s say, I went home and told my f-family everything about my secrets. Then, there would be nothing more you could hold against me,’’ he said, teary eyed and serious about going home.

‘’That’s true, but think about this clearly for a moment. Do you really think that your friends and family will accept you after so much bitterness and conflict?’’ said Dave, pulling each string with calming yet manipulative precision. He walked around to face Charlie, blocking the view of the road that led home. ‘’There is a reason you have felt the need to hide your true self from them. You hid because you knew that they would not understand. You were right to think so.’’

Charlie looked at Dave, feeling an odd temptation towards the other option but he refused to divulge. He began to think that Dave knew more about him than he let on but no — no he should not be enticed to run away with a man who who blackmailed, abused, and tormented him for months. It didn’t make sense yet at the same time, it did. He had never felt so conflicted and lost for words.

‘’I am sorry for everything I put you through over the past few months, Charlie,’’ said Dave, seeming genuine. ‘’It was wrong of me to treat you so badly. I realise that now. You are delicate and deserve better.’’ His eyes were not filled with malice as usual but with care. He seemed willing to make amends and start anew. He raised his hand. ‘’Forget about everything that came before. Take my hand and I will give you the life you were always meant to have, as a girl by my side, together.’’

Charlie looked at his outstretched hand, feeling a lump form in his throat. He was completely lost within his mind, running around, frantically searching for the right thing to do. He could not understand the feelings of tempt and desire in going away with his blackmailer. There was nothing at home for him but pain and complex relationships. Dave was right. He would never be able to —

Suddenly, a distant sound caught Charlie’s attention. It was not the wind nor was it the sound of the grass swaying from side to side in the fields that surrounded them. It was in the distance and it was getting closer. He broke eye contact with Dave and walked past him, flushing out all of his persuasive feelings. He was not sure if he was trying to avoid making a decision or whether he was actually interested in what was looming towards him. He used his hand to shade his eyes and squinted to see what was making so much noise in the distance. He could just about make out a dark motorbike through the hazy heat blur.

‘’Charlie?’’ said Dave urgently. ‘’It’s just a motor — it’s just a -,’’ His mouth fell open and his hand dropped to his side as he looked into the distance. He looked like he was about to throw up. He took a few steps forward as if he could not believe his eyes. He spun around and shouted, ‘’WE HAVE TO GO NOW!’’ insistently.

Perplexed, Charlie didn’t have a second to say another word as Dave grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back to the car. ‘’What’s going on?’’ he asked, finding it difficult to run in heels and a skirt.

‘’It doesn’t matter! Now hurry up!’’ said Dave, dragging Charlie along like a tramp.

Charlie was unable to run very fast because he could only take short steps as he tripped over his heels. The bounce of his bosom and the tight skirt didn’t exactly help him much either. ‘’I don’t understand, it’s only a motorcycle!’’ he exclaimed as they approached the car.

The roar of the motorbike engine grew louder by the second as it quickly advanced towards them at a high speed. The biker was certainly coming for them.

Dave shoved Charlie into the passenger seat, slammed the door, and ran around the front bonnet to the driver’s seat. ‘’Shit, shit, shit!’’ he cursed, fumbling with the keys in the ignition. He started it up and only got a sickly cough-like noise from the engine. ‘’No, no, no, no, don’t give up on me now!’’ he gasped, stamping the floor angrily.

Charlie looked in the rear-view mirror to see that the motorbike was merely seconds away from them. He was beginning feel uneasy because he had no idea why they were being chased or what the person on the motorbike would do to them. He had many questions to ask but dread got the better of him.

The car’s engine spluttered and choked before finally starting up, much to Dave’s joy; he stamped down hard and put it in gear. The small Fiesta zoomed off down the road, spewing a dust over the biker, as the back wheels gathered momentum.

‘’Okay what the hell is going on?!’’ yelled Charlie, taking his eyes off the wing mirror.

Dave did not answer. He was in a crazed and paranoid state, muttering ‘’How did you find me?’’ repeatedly whilst looking in the mirror. He put the car in third, then straight up to fifth and hurried down the straight stretch of road towards the distant forest.

Charlie’s head flung back into the seat as he held on tight to the handgrips. Adrenaline fuelled his excited body as a ticklish sensation spread throughout his stomach. He was in an over speeding car with a lunatic who is kidnapping him. He certainly feared for his safety. The roar of the car’s engine sounded like it was working much harder than it should have been. He looked in the mirror to see the motorbike bursting through the dust cloud as it rapidly caught up with them.

Charlie began to fantasise and wonder if somebody knew of the blackmail and they were on their way to rescue him. However, he brushed the thought away because it was ridiculous. Whoever the mysterious motorcyclist was, it got Dave spooked.

He looked ahead to see that they were close to the forest which seemed like a hundred miles away only a few minutes ago. He looked in the mirror to see the biker was gaining up on them. ‘’Are you going to tell me why we are being chased?!’’ exclaimed Charlie, desperately seeking answers.

‘’Just shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!’’ Dave bellowed, covering his left ear with his hand.

The engine snarled viscously as the car whooshed like a bullet past a billboard that read, ‘’WELCOME TO MOUNT PLEASANT FOREST!’’. The car rattled and shook. The suitcases and bags in the backseat rolled on top of each other from one end of the car to the other. The chase descended into the forest of towering pine trees and the road gradually became narrower and dangerous. The road was unhurriedly becoming more sloped and bendy as they ascended around the edge of the mountain.

‘’How did you find us? It’s impossible!’’ whined Dave, spewing saliva.

Gathering up all the bravery he could muster, Charlie said, ‘’S-Sorry but who’s following -,’’ but before he could finish, a crushing blow struck him across the face by the back of Dave’s hand. His ears started to ring as his face stung with sheer pain. He quickly raised his trembling hand to his face as tears squeezed out from his shut eyelids. He could feel warmth spilling from his nose. He opened his eyes to see hand covered with blood.

‘’This was you wasn’t it?!’’ cried Dave, tears forming in his infuriated eyes. ‘’You were planning this all along behind my back!’’

‘’W-What?’’ gasped Charlie, feeling lightheaded and shaky.

‘’Don’t pretend!’’ Dave shouted, his red face filled with rage. ‘’Don’t act like you don’t know why I was being followed over the past few weeks! I had my suspicions but I never thought that you would do this to me! You — you traitor!’’

‘’Dave - I swear to you that I have NO idea w-what you are talking about!’’ Charlie stated honestly, beginning to feel faint.

Charlie should have seen it coming but he received another hard wallop across the face. This time his head crashed violently off the side window, instantly shattering the pane. His wig was taken away by the powerful gust of wind and flew out the window. His wounded head rested on the door. Everything was suddenly suspended in slow motion as he slipped in and out of consciousness. He felt like time was skipping through flashes of light. He could see the sunlight pouring through the leaves and branches of the tall trees above him.

Suddenly, he remembered what had happened over the previous night when he was in his drug-induced state. It came to him in brief yet terrifying flashbacks. He remembered Dave being on top of him from behind. He remembered clenching the bed sheets with his nails. He remembered being hot and sweaty beneath the bed sheets, the lustful gnawing on his neck, the thrusting, the kissing and above all else, the horrible pleasure. An inner voice cried out in his mind, forcing him to flush about all memory.

He managed to open his eyes somewhat and what he saw was the motorcyclist in the wing-mirror. The person on the bike waved at him, which reminded him of somebody he met not too long ago. ‘’Help me,’’ he whispered, his throat dry and cracked. ‘’Help me, please.’’ The biker disappeared from view as the car zoomed around a tight corner up the mountain.

Dave was all tensed up, manically looking forward and behind, mumbling, ‘’Oh god I’m sorry,’’ repeatedly like a broken record. He was sweating all over as if he was just about to face the only person who could take him out. The biker was right on his tail and there was nowhere to run. He looked ahead to see that there was a side dirt track into the forest so without blinking an eye, he pulled the hand break and turned the wheel. The tyres screeched along the road as the car swerved into the side road, forcing Charlie’s unconscious head to fall into Dave’s lap.

Dave’s plan worked and the biker missed the turn. However, he now had the challenge of keeping speed on such a rough road. The car jumped and rattled brutally on the dirt road, which was covered in bumps and potholes. He kept revving the car, forcing it to go as fast as possible. The back bumper tore off as he rammed over a bump.

Charlie was being flayed and thrown around the passenger seat as he drifted in and out of his dream world. People he deemed most important to him were on his mind. He had a flashback of the time he and Rachel became close and knew each other for a short time. He thought about earlier that week, when his mother gave him the watch for his birthday and the moment of connection they shared in the garden. He thought about embracing Kayla and the soft touch of her lips against his.

He looked back in the mirror to see that the biker was right behind them once again. ‘’I want to go home. Please. I want to be me again.’’ He was not sure if he said it aloud or subconsciously but it was what he wanted. He didn’t wish to runaway with the madman in the driver’s seat. Not a chance. He felt willing to tell his family everything. In fact, he promised himself that he would if he was rescued from his dire situation.

BANG!

Charlie’s ears popped and all sound was replaced with the low ringing noise. Temporarily deafened, his lungs suddenly filled with smoke and he began to cough and splutter. Alarmed, he managed to lift his head despite his body being thrashed around the violently bumpy car. The ringing in his ears grew louder before he felt a dreadful pop and sound slowly began to return to him. It felt like trying to hear someone under water. He could vaguely hear Dave screaming, ‘’The breaks are shot! We have to bail! We have to jump NOW!’’. He looked ahead through the windscreen and all he could see was smoke and flames. He could feel Dave heaving his body as he attempted to pull him out of the car.

Charlie looked at other window where he had hit his head. The biker was zooming alongside them. The figure on the bike reached out and yelled, ‘’Take my hand, Charlie!’’ in a female voice that he found familiar. He tried to work out what was going on. Two people were fighting over him, the stranger on the bike who was willing to save him and the kidnapping blackmailer who was willing to turn him into a girl. They were inside a runaway car with broken brakes, an engine on fire whilst speeding downhill on a forest dirt track. He started to regain consciousness. He sat up, feeling his head throb with pain.

‘’Look out!’’ the biker screamed.

He looked over at the driver’s seat. It was empty and the door was wide open. Dave had bailed. He felt as if his blood froze over and thousands of needles pierced his skin as a deathly sensation took over his body. ‘’You cowardly son of a bitch!’’ he said, reacting immediately by grabbing the steering wheel. He couldn’t jump over into the seat because of his constricting skirt and tight corset but he tried his best. He threw his leg over the gearbox and pulled himself over onto the seat, screaming as he felt a stabbing pain shoot up his spine. The skirt ripped, his hip and rear girdle loosened, and he was firmly in place of the controls. Breathing as if he just ran a marathon, he took the wheel and tried to press the brakes but nothing happened.

‘’The brakes won’t work!’’ he yelled to the biker.

‘’Jump, Charlie! Jump out NOW!’’ the biker roared urgently before pulling back.

The smoke had cleared somewhat and he looked ahead. He could see clouds. It was a cliff. He felt as if something had just stabbed him in the heart. ‘’So this is it, then?’’ he asked himself, preparing to open the door and jump but it was too late. The shaking and rattling stopped. There was no sound but the breeze whistling eerily. His body fell flat and his stomach felt like a whirlpool. The car dipped down, falling, falling, falling. He could feel nothing but weightlessness and oncoming death.

BOOM!

Charlie felt as if he had just hit concrete as the car bonnet crashed nose down into a deep lake. He hit his head hard against the steering wheel. Confused and terrified by all means, his attention was quickly drawn to the sound of the windscreen cracking and the loud metallic grown of the cars frame. Icy cold water poured in around his feet, quickly gaining height up to his knees. His blood covered hands trembled erratically as he tried to open the door but it was impossible. Before he could think, the windscreen shattered and water burst into the car, pushing him hard into the back seat.

The cold was agony: it attacked him like fire. His brain itself seemed to have frozen as the dark water pushed down on him from all sides. The more he struggled, the more disorientated he got. Up, down, left and right; nothing made sense and he felt like his heart was going to explode with panic. He opened his eyes to see that the car was being dragged deep down into the lake. He grabbed the rim of the car door, pulling with all his might. A path of bubbles spewed out of his mouth as he roared in pain, feeling the muscles in his stomach stretch terribly under the corset compressing his abdomen. He managed to wrench himself out of the sinking car but it was not enough.

He kicked out wildly, trying to push himself back to the surface, but merely propelled himself deeper into the lake. Trashing, suffocating, he scrabbled at the tight corset, his frozen fingers unable to loosen it. He could feel his lungs beginning to burn as little flashes of light popped up inside his head. He was going to drown, there was nothing left, nothing he could do, and the hand that grabbed his arm was surely Death’s…

Choking and retching, soaked and colder than he had ever been in his life, he came to, staring up at the clouds. Somewhere close by, another person was panting, coughing, and staggering around. He had no strength to lift his head and see his saviour’s identity. All he could do was raise his shaking hand to his stomach where the corset was. It was gone: someone had cut him free. Then a panting voice spoke from over his head.

‘’Are you okay?’’

Nothing but the shock of hearing that voice could have given Charlie the strength to get up. However, shivering violently he could not pick himself up to his feet. He was in too much pain. There before him stood Prudence Svahnstrom, fully dressed in black leather but drenched to the skin. Her blue hair was plastered to her face, the torn up corset in one hand and a pocketknife in the other.

‘’Try not to move,’’ panted Prue, throwing the corset aside and kneeling down.

Charlie coughed and retched up mouthfuls of water before taking in deep breaths. ‘’How is this possible?’’ he asked feebly.

‘’Shh,’’ hushed Prue softly. ‘’Try not to talk. I will explain everything later.’’

Charlie could hear heavy footsteps approaching. He tried to turn his head to look but he was much too weak.

‘’Hey!’’ yelled Dave, stopping a great deal away from Prue and Charlie. ‘’Get your hands off my girlfriend you — you stalker!’’

‘’Please, please don’t let him come near me!’’ whimpered Charlie, beginning to tremble. ‘’I can’t — I just can’t go through -,’’

‘’It’s okay, it’s okay! You’re safe with me,’’ said Prue warmly. She stood up and looked at Dave, not taking her eye off him as she walked over to her motorbike, lying on its side by rocks. ‘’He’s not your girlfriend. He never was.’’ she said, casually opening her saddle and rummaging inside.

‘’Why have you been following me the past few weeks, hmm?’’ shouted Dave, his eyes quickly darting towards Charlie. ‘’I need to know why!’’

‘’Oh you need to know why, do you?’’ smiled Prue, closing the saddle.

‘’Y-Yes,’’ stammered Dave, looking uncomfortable as Prue slowly walked towards him. ‘’Why are you doing this, huh? Why have you been stalking me?!’’ he shouted, stepping backwards fearfully as Prue approached him. He picked up a rock, holding it up in a threatening stance but he was much too intimidated by the mysterious woman. He childishly screamed, ‘’WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!’’ at the top of his lungs, briefly looking over his shoulder. Suddenly, two needle tipped darts stuck into his chest. He looked down at the cables and then up at Prue who was standing behind a taser gun. ‘’You bi -,’’

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Prue sent electricity shooting into Dave’s body until he collapsed onto the ground unconscious. She lowered the gun after a few seconds, panting as the tension finally ended. She threw the gun aside and walked over to Dave’s twitching body. She nudged him with her foot, turning her head like a curious dog. ‘’You want to know who I am?’’ she said under her breath. ‘’I’m Charlie’s liberator but I’m also your worst nightmare!’’

Dave’s long, golden hair hung gloriously down over his bosom, and down his back like an unrolled curtain of soft velvet. Covered with an explosive overdose of fake tan, his skin looked radiantly false yet hotly sensual. His face was painted like a dolls and his makeup was over the top and trampy. Like two fluttery butterfly wings, his lashes were thick, dark, and long. His lips appeared plumper as they were coated with neon-pink lipstick, the girliest kind. Hanging from the soft, blonde hair were two large golden hoops, pierced into his earlobes.

His feet were uncomfortably squished into a pair of leather-baby blue pumps, with a lofty four-inch heel. Not only that, but his legs were completely waxed, smooth and soft. His girdle-enhanced hips were clad with a blue and navy plaid skirt, short in length and high in waist, which made his legs look ever so lengthier. Hugging his rather buxom breasts, corseted waist, and beefy arms was a blue boat-necked school sweater, with the large blouse collar folded over the neckline, buttoned down to reveal his frilly bra-encased cleavage.

Feminized and sluttified, his body sat bound to a wooden chair by the wrists and ankles. He was unconscious and had not yet come through after being attacked by his mysterious captor’s taser. He was trapped in a well-decorated room, draped with soft velvety fabrics and deep, sultry colours. Two lampshades on each bedside locker dimly lit the room and a large four-poster bed stood pushed up against the wall. The carpeted floor was scattered with random bearskins and soft fluffy rugs. It called back to the private rooms of the nineteenth century burlesque house.

His eyelids twitched as he exhaled a deep, tired breath. His neck cracked as he lifted his heavy head, joints creaking like rusty hinges as he attempted to move within his confined state. Taken aback by his lack of movement, his eyes gaped open as he desperately attempted to move with more effort. Looking over his shoulder, his luscious blonde wig covered his vision. Hot flushes of panic arose within him as he tried to brush the hair away from his eyes. He swung his head over his other shoulder and could just about see that his hands were bound together and to the chair, tight and firm. He looked down at his body, horror-struck at what he saw before him, a slutty schoolgirl uniform, donned upon his artificially shaped body, similar yet more sexual than the one he forced Charlie to wear.

Dave tried to move again by leaning forward but, like elastic, he flung back into the seat. The rope that bound him with the chair was uncomfortably tight as was the painful corset, which compressed his muscled abdomen into an hourglass shape. Grasping for air, he gritted his teeth to cope with the constrictive clinch, grimacing with agony. He attempted to stretch but moving forced him into a fit of violent coughing. He barely caught his breath, letting his head fall back as he stared up at the ceiling. Inflating and deflating like wheezing bagpipe, his bosomy chest moved in and out to his raspy breath.

As soon as he caught his breath, his licked his quivering lips and listened. He could feel the presence of another in the room. Lifting his head, he held his breath, and looked over each shoulder as terror flickered in his shining eyes. He could feel a cold wave of goosebumps fall upon him as the hairs stood erect on the back of his neck. ‘’H-Hello -,’’

THWACK!

He jumped, feeling a harsh pain shoot through his legs as he turned to the figure standing before him. ‘’What the -,’’ he yelled.

Dressed as a sexy schoolteacher from head to toe, a young woman stood before him with a long wooden cane in her right hand. A black pinup pencil skirt, streamlined, high-waisted, and cut down to above the knee clasped her hips firmly with a polka dotted bow and bustle on the back. Tucked into the figure-hugging skirt was a white puffed sleeve chiffon blouse with a pussy bow hanging from the slightly revealing neckline collar. Wavy jet-black hair hung down over her shoulders and back. Her complexion was milky, flawless, with vibrant red lipstick to match the dark half-mooned spectacles that lay perched upon the tip of her nose.

Dave rocked about in his chair as he desperately attempted to move his wrists and ankles but all his efforts led to no avail. His mysterious captor certainly made sure that he would not be able to escape. In the midst of his panicked state, he quickly noticed that his knees were trembling and his lower lip quivering. He breathed in, trying his best not to show any signs of weakness or inadequacy. ‘’Who are you and where am I?’’ he asked, trying his best to appear relaxed.

Wearing a contented smirk, the woman looked upon him deviously as if a thousand punishment methods were running through her mind. Sighing happily, she began to circle the chair, batting the cane against her hand in a military fashion. ‘’I am Ms. Svahnstrom,’’ said the woman, tongued with a slight European accent. ‘’I’ll be your tutor for the day.’’

Dave’s eyes lit up as if a light bulb flicked on inside his muddled head. He suddenly realised who the woman was, the motorcyclist who chased his car and ran him off the road. All the muscles in his face tensed up as a cold sweat started to moisten his joints like oil. He tried his best to keep his eyes on Prue as she rounded his chair, his heart pulsating when she entered his blind spot. She eventually stopped, facing him as she circled her long, pointed nail around the tip her cane. He looked at her up and down with a frightened yet animalistic look in his eyes, ‘’Lady, if you intend on r-raping me or something, you’re not exactly making it very miserable for me,’’ he said, staring into her cleavage like a hungry beast.

‘’Oh I’m no lady,’’ Prue scoffed, gently clubbing the cane against the palm of her left hand. She did not take her eye off him as she slowly circled the chair again, forcing her prisoner to feel the rising tension before the storm. ‘’Hmm, I’m a little proud of my work for once,’’ she said, referring to Dave’s appearance. ‘’I managed to make you look quite feminine despite your — masculine — physique.’’

‘’Is that supposed to be a compliment?’’ said Dave, trying to maintain his nonchalant bravery.

‘’Not really,’’ Prue chuckled, rolling her eyes. Remaining silent for a moment, she stroked the cane softly against his cheek. ‘’I suppose you think yourself smart?’’

Laughing, Dave broke eye contact as he found confidence. ‘’I’m locked in a strange room, dressed up as a school tart, being threatened by a lunatic pretending to a school teacher so no, I do not think myself very smart!’’

‘’Who said I’m threatening you?’’ chortled Prue. ‘’I’m merely here to teach you a valuable lesson.’’

‘’Enlighten me…’’

Prue did not answer and continued to circle the chair like a lioness readying to attack her prey. She was basking in the pool of intense pressure, trying her best to raise her threatening presence to alarming and feverish heights.

‘’Look, I don’t have time to play games,’’ said Dave, starting appear anxious. ‘’Just tell me where I am?’’

‘’You’ll find out where you are soon enough,’’ she said, finally stopping in front of the chair as she placed her cane neatly inside her arm.

Dave waited for his captor to speak further; however, she just stood in front of him, staring as she waited for him to say something. Words caught in his dry throat, he could not break from the piercing gaze she cast upon him. He refused to express fear, despite it broiling inside him like an oncoming storm. He could feel himself beginning to sweat as the intensity of looming torment rested heavily upon his shoulders like a ton of bricks. He licked his lips and swallowed the little saliva remaining in his mouth. ‘’S-So how long have you and Charlie been conspiring behind my back?’’ he asked hoarsely.

Scoffing, Prue looked away for a moment, smiling as she gently shook her head. ‘’What if I told you that Charlie was just as oblivious as you were to my — what shall I call it - rescue mission if you will…’’

‘’I wouldn’t believe you,’’ said Dave. ‘’No random person would — would go to such extreme measures to stalk someone they only met once!’’

‘’Ah so you remember who I am! You deserve a gold star for that!’’ said Prue, deriding Dave’s intelligence. ‘’Actually, I think I may have some gold stars in my handbag.’’

‘’Of course I remember! You’re the weird girl who works at the costume shop,’’ Dave sneered. ‘’I had my suspicions that somebody was following me for weeks. I hope you don’t think I had no misgivings about a plot to ruin our getaway but I never thought it would be you!’’

‘’Well, if you were truly suspicious, then you would have done something about it,’’ taunted Prue.

‘’Fuck you,’’ Dave spat. ‘’You do realise - ,’’

THWACK!

Prue walloped him across the bare laps with an almighty swing of her cane. Followed by the harsh smack was a loud, frightful scream that could have rattled the room to its very foundations.

‘’Gaaaaaargh!’’ Dave screamed. ‘’What the fu -,’’

‘’ — don’t you DARE use crude language again, young lady!’’ Prue yelled, trying to contain her delight and laughter.

Squirming around in his bound state, Dave attempted to break free of his restraints but he could do no more than scream and struggle. ‘’You’re fucking insane, you know that?!’’ he roared. ‘’INSANE!’’

Loving Dave’s daring stupidity, Prue beamed ear-to-ear as she brought her cane crashing down upon his laps several times with remarkably brute force. ‘’Oh god, the irony is palpable!’’ she bellowed to the ceiling. She trotted teasingly to the side of the chair, chuckling under her breath. ‘’You think that I’m insane?’’. She gently brushed her cane across his cheek again as she playfully indulged in the terror her prisoner felt. ‘’Huh, some people think so but I can’t help it! I simply adore dressing up in costumes!’’ she whispered into his ear.

Growling like an untamed beast, Dave writhed and snarled with frustration and sheer rage. ‘’You know, stalking me is one thing, but chasing me off the road and forcing me to take part in some creepy role-playing game is just screwed up! I won’t give in to being like you sissy freaks!’’ he scowled, frowning under the constrictive corset once again.

Prue’s brow arose, astounded by Dave’s bloated narcissism. ‘’Oh come now, do you honestly believe that is the reason why you’re in this situation?’’ she said patronisingly.

His theory crushed before him, Dave lowered his head as his knees began to shake uncontrollably, ‘’Yes!’’ he snapped, refusing eye contact. ‘’W-Why else would you have brought me here d-dressed up like a — like a slutty tart while you play the sexy teacher?’’

‘’Wow, you really think that I’m sexy?’’ said Prue, her eyes agape with sarcasm. ‘’I’ve gone all scarlet! Thanks dude!’’

‘’Then tell me!’’ Dave yelled, angry tears spewing from his eyes. ‘’Tell me why I’m here!’’

Frustrated with Dave’s oblivious nature, Prue sighed, feeling annoyed and irritated as she strutted over to the other end of the room. She opened the closet door, took out a fold-up chair, walked back, and placed it in front of Dave. ‘’These heels are a nightmare,’’ she mumbled, kicking them off as she sat down. Pulling her chair in closer, Dave gulped fearfully as his captor sat unnervingly closer to him with her cane resting firmly on his lap. Smirking, she reached out, touched Dave’s blouse collar, and rubbed it gently between her fingers.

‘’What are you doing?’’ Dave asked, looking down at her hand nervously.

Remaining silent, Prue slowly pulled the collar out and peered into his bra-encased breasts, realistically glued onto his chest. ‘’Oh yes,’’ she said, leering into his eyes with malicious intent. ‘’Yes, he will be very pleased with those puppies, very pleased indeed!’’

‘’Wh — who?’’ asked Dave, startled, and suddenly feeling something gently chafe the inside of his thigh. He looked down to see the wooden cane slowly sliding up towards his crotch. ‘’W-What are you doing -,’’

‘’Shh,’’ hushed Prue. ‘’Just look at me…’’

Refusing to lift his head, Dave squirmed uneasily, accidently letting out a frightened whimper as the cane gently lifted up his skirt. He shook his head in protest.

‘’LOOK AT ME!’’ Prue snarled.

Trembling, Dave slowly looked up, chin shuddering with fear as he locked eyes with his defeaters piercing gaze. She no longer appeared playful or mischievous. She suddenly transformed herself into an unsmiling judge of punishment. ‘’You live within a delusion, Dave,’’ said Prue, her tone sharp and icy as she slowly ran her cane up his skirt. ‘’You’re ill. I cannot possibly talk you into realising what you have done. However, I can help you understand by imposing the very same feelings people like Charlie and I have felt. I will force constant fear, torment, fault, and shame upon you. I will make you experience everything we have felt until you beg forgiveness. You. Will. Suffer.’’

Anxiously panting like a dog, Dave could not form a proper sentence because of the cane shoved up his skirt and the tight, figure altering corset that clinched his waist. He tired to speak but the terror of his privates being crushed got the better of his nerves. He swallowed down again and cleared his throat. ‘’Y-You think you know him-,’’ Dave gasped, stopping mid-speech to catch his breath, ‘’ — b-but you — you don’t know h-him like I do. I c-can see who he is supposed to be…and — and I love h -,’’

‘’Unbelievable,’’ scoffed Prue, looking away as she pushed her cane unto his crotch, painfully squashing his manhood with excruciating energy. Shrieking, Dave viciously rocked back and forth in the chair, roaring at the top of his lungs as thrashed about helplessly.

Jumping to her feet, Prue unleashed hellfire as she struck Dave across each side of his face with enormous vigour, yelling at the top of her voice, ‘’You are not in love with Charlie! You’re in love with the power you hold over him and you took advantage of his secret! He was just a confused person and you exploited that for your own perverted fantasies!’’ she roared, again striking him twice, flaying his head from side-to-side to his brief yelps. ‘’He had done nothing wrong!’’. She clouted him thrice more on the laps before withdrawing, dropping the cane to the floor as she stumbled a few steps back.

Dave’s head hung low, covered by the long blonde hair of his wig. Trembling, his legs shook within the very restraints that bound them to the chair. ‘’H-How can you assume so much of a p-person you only met once?’’ said Dave, his voice cleared and breathy.

Straightening herself after her manic outburst, Prue caught her breath, cleared the hair hanging over her eyes, and straightened out her skirt. ‘’You don’t know what we discussed while you sat outside in your car that day,’’ she sneered. ‘’I know what it’s like to be in Charlie’s position. I recognised his state from the moment I seen him enter the shop and more so when he told me cross-dressing was an escape from himself, something ignorant vermin like you will never understand.’’

Dave looked up, scornfully leering at Prue with pure and utter hatred. His face was red with lashings and his callous eyes were filled with fury. He was monstrous. ‘’Is strapping me to a chair in girls clothes really for Charlie or is all of this part of your own personal vendetta?’’

Prue laughed but not in an over-the-top false manner but a genuine laugh. She began to circle the chair once again, swaying her hips devilishly, however, this time she was without the cane.

Mustering up the remainder of his courage, Dave straightened up in his seat, trying to look resilient in spite of his ridiculous appearance. ‘’You — you can beat me senseless if that satisfies your so-called vengeance on ‘people-like-me’ but you’re gonna have to let me go eventually. My dad is home in a -,’’

Prue quickly pulled the chair and watched it slowly lean back before crashing to the floor like a collapsing tree. Before Dave could yell every curse word under the sun, she bent down and shoved a cloth in his roaring mouth. All that could be heard was his muffled cries and unintelligible insults. She bent over, belittling him, as she looked upon him as if he were a toddler. ‘’You’re right,’’ she said soothingly. ‘’This isn’t just for Charlie, but for me, and all the unfortunates who have encountered scum like you, so tonight — tonight the tables shall be turned!’’

Dave’s eyes filled with terror as he stared up at his captor. ‘’’Hmmmmufblellehmmenhbghh,’’ was the closet he could get to form a sentence.

‘’You want to really know where you are, Dave?’’ said Prue, her tone razor sharp and her eyes alight with zeal. ‘’You see, I work in the costume shop by day but at night I’m a different person all together…Lolita Lascivious, the chick with the dick who can’t get enough fun! Only 100 for the night!’’ she quoted, voice trembling and eyes simmering with impassioned tears. She moved in closer to his face, leering into his eyes so she could gaze upon into his terrified soul. ‘’Clearly I cannot hurt you, so tonight — tonight I’m breaking the rules. You will take my place and spend the night with one of the clubs most prolific customers. A certain person who enjoys emasculated boys in skirts.’’

‘’Nyyymmhhhaaabmmmmh!’’ cried Dave.

‘’You will know the shame, torment, fear, and pain you caused Charlie…,’’ Prue said, her tone cold and icy, ‘’…and when I come back tomorrow, you will do as I say. If you do not —comply — then I will be forced to keep you here until you meet my demands.’’

Dave cried something that sounded like, ‘’PLEASE NO! I’M SORRY!’’

Prue stood upright, looking down over her spectacles with revulsion and distaste. ‘’Don’t be sorry,’’ she said, smiling sardonically, compassionless and unyielding. ‘’You know deep down that you deserve this.’’ Completely ignoring the desperate cries, she turned and walked towards the door with a stony expression upon her face but her eyes festered with a fulfilled sparkle. She unlocked the door, stepped out onto the hallway where a massively tall, dark man stood, awaiting anxiously with a vicious hunger on his face.

‘’Is — is s-she ready?’’ asked the man, nervously fumbling his fingers like a dubious child.

‘’She’s all yours. Just don’t forget to lock the door when you’re in there,’’ said Prue, refusing to make eye contact as she held up the key. ‘’I don’t want him to escape.’’

The man’s eyes lit up like that of a wild jungle cats, seething bodily as an inhuman smile spread across his wrinkled face. ‘’Thanks, Lolita!’’ said the man, grabbing the key. ‘’I owe you one big time!’’

Staring into a trance, Prue removed the black-haired wig from her head and listened carefully as the man locked the door behind him. She could faintly hear the man coyly saying hello to his busty bound beauty before the muffled screams of Dace echoed down the hallway.

Shrewdly, she smiled to herself with satisfaction before walking down the corridor to her dressing room.

***

‘’The brakes won’t work!’’
‘’Jump, Charlie! Jump out NOW!’’

Beneath the layers of warm blankets, the mattress springs creaked as Charlie moaned and rolled over in the bed. His soft, newly hairless legs rubbed together like silk atop the smooth bed sheets. He breathed deeply into his pillow and wondered how long he had been sleeping. He blinked and shut his eyes again, yawned and managed to open both eyes. From his horizontal view, he could only see brown and cream striped wallpaper, slightly peeled, and just inches from the bed.

Suddenly, his ears tuned in to the sound of an approaching menace. The room began to increasingly rattle and shake by the second. Confused, he started to feel claustrophobic beneath the blankets, which then caused him to feel a great deal of panic. Breathless, he quickly slid the blankets off his body, sat upright, and gasped for breath as if he had just pulled himself out of a deep lake. He felt as if something terrible was squeezing on his lungs. The sound of water gurgled and spluttered in his ears as a subway train screeched by the thin bedroom window.

Amongst his complete bewilderment, a voice called his name, hushed, and calmed him. ‘’Hey, it’s okay, Charlie. You’re safe now. You’re safe,’’ said the cool soothing voice of a woman.

Blood rushing to his head, Charlie looked around, utterly confused before his eyes met with the mysterious woman. His vision focusing, he saw Prue, squatting by his bedside, looking up at him with the care and compassion of a mother. ‘’Where am I?’’ he asked worriedly.

‘’My apartment,’’ said Prue. ‘’After I pulled you out of the lake, I called my colleague to pick us up…’’

‘’Where — where’s Dave?’’ Charlie asked, looking around the room for his blackmailer.

Prue’s face flinched by the mention of his name. ‘’He’s — um — not here. I’m keeping him somewhere else,’’ she said, clearly uncomfortable with the question. ‘’Anyway, we’ll deal with that later,’’ she added, brushing it off as if was no big deal. ‘’The important thing is that you’re safe and away from that monster. Nobody is going to hurt you here.’’. She placed her hand on his forearm, slightly squeezing to help him feel trusting.

Defensively, Charlie withdrew, not taking his unblinking eyes off her as he moved away like a frightened creature to the other end of the bed. ‘’Don’t touch me!’’ he snapped, feeling a boiling remembrance churn in his stomach. ‘’Don’t you dare fucking touch me!’

Prue’s mouth fell open, undoubtedly wounded, and shocked. ‘’Charlie, it’s me! Don’t you remember?’’ she said, rising to her feet. ‘’It’s Prue from the costume shop a couple of weeks ago?’’

‘’I remember exactly who you are!’’ said Charlie, beginning to feel disorientated.

Perplexed, Prue frowned and said, ‘’Then you have nothing to be afraid of…’’

‘’Why?’’ asked Charlie, snide and unkind. ‘’Why do I have nothing to be afraid of?’’

‘’Because I just saved your life!’’ bellowed Prue. ‘’I think you can trust me on that basis alone!’’

His head swimming, Charlie looked into himself to find reason. Everything came flooding back to him like a tidal wave of memory, the kidnap, the road, the breakdown, the chase, and the lake. He looked like he had just awoken from coma. He gulped; throat sore and muscles aching as he kicked the blankets off the foot of the bed. He slid down, seating himself on the far edge so he would not have to face Prue. ‘’I’m so sorry,’’ he said, turning his head slightly. ‘’I — I’m just confused, I — uh — dunno what’s wrong with me -,’’

There was a slight hesitation in the air as the room became still.

‘’Don’t worry about it,’’ said Prue, seating herself on the mattress, behind Charlie. ‘’There’s nothing wrong with being distrusting after everything you’ve been through.’’

Charlie bowed his head, feeling a longing sensation rising from within his heart. ‘’I want to go home,’’ he said, words escaping his mouth. ‘’I want to go home to my family…’’

Prue looked deeply concerned and affected by what Charlie had said. ‘’You will, we’ve just got to -,’’

They both jumped as a mobile phone began to vibrate and ring loudly. Whipping her cell out from her trouser pocket, Prue looked at the screen and frowned. ‘’Excuse me for a moment but I’ve got to take this one!’’ she said, leaping to her feet and running to the door. She quickly left the apartment to take the call.

Left alone within a cringe-worthy state of mind, Charlie nodded as he mentally kicked himself for sounding so incredibly childish. ‘’I want to go home,’’ he said, repeating his embarrassing words. He turned around, folding his legs up onto the bed in a meditative manner. Hunched over, he buried his face in the heels of his hands until he could see nothing but sparkles. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs until he could no longer speak.

He got off the bed and stood up, feeling a little dazed and heavy on his feet. He could feel the fabric of his clothes sticking to his sweaty body. Looking down, he saw that he wore an oversized grey t-shirt that lengthened halfway down his thigh. He lifted it up and discovered he was wearing blue-striped football shorts underneath. Feeling as if he were drunk, he stumbled forward a few steps, stopped, gazed around the cavernous apartment, swaying back and forth like a tower of plates. Modest was not the word to describe the size and style of Prue’s flat. A word more appropriate would be a sprawl. There was barely enough room to swing a cat.

It was essentially one, right-angled room with a carpeted bedroom area and a small kitchen en-suite that was squashed inside the entrance door. There were stacks of cardboard boxes everywhere, clothes strewn all over the deep red carpet, an old television set in front of a single armchair by the window, a large wooden wardrobe, dresser, and chest of drawers. An electric oil heater was plugged into an extension lead, placed in the middle of the room with a bikini drying on it. Despite the dated wallpaper, carpet, and furnishing, the place was tidy yet cluttered to a certain extent.

Stifled music pulsated from upstairs; the rush of the city outside penetrated the walls, and the old refrigerator in the kitchen buzzed annoyingly. The room began to tremor once again. The plates in the kitchen sink rattled and the wooden furniture creaked as another train rapidly approached. He ran to the window and parted the old ratty curtains to see that it was late at night. The view was not very pretty for an elevated track, massive, iron, and rusty ran right past the window and over the street beneath it. Louder and louder, the metallic subway train screeched as it thundered by the window before fading into the distance.

Shutting the curtains, he turned and listened to Prue’s muffled voice yammering over the phone outside. He could not make out what she was saying but she did not sound very happy. He stood by the window, leaning against the broken and rusty radiator. He sighed, feeling a slight ache in his abdomen where the corset once shaped his body. Noticing that his fingers felt rather strange, he lifted his right hand to see that he was still wearing the false nails. He clenched his right fist, scraping the pointed nails against his palms, and leering at them as if they were monstrous claws. Something Dave had said once popped up in his mind, though he could not remember where and when he heard it.

You are so beautiful you know that? I’d say that you are the prettiest girl in the world!

The door swung open, making him jump as everything flushed out of his mind. Heart racing, he quickly looked up to see Prue, closing the door behind her. She took a deep sea-like breath before exhaling like waves crashing against a shore. ‘’That was someone from work,’’ she said, throwing her phone onto the bed as she grabbed a hair tie.

‘’The costume shop?’’ said Charlie, realising the late hour.

Prue froze, mid-tying, and looked at him through the corner of her eye with a clip firmly placed between her lips. ‘’My other place of work,’’ she said, muttering through clasped lips.

‘’Oh right, I didn’t know you had another job,’’ said Charlie.

Prue did respond even though it was obvious she was listening. She stared ahead at the wall, concentrating as she tied her hair back into a ponytail.

Charlie could not help but feel that he had just hit a nerve within his rescuer. He neither talked nor asked further as he stood awkwardly by the window, fumbling his fingers between each other. He felt jumpy and anxious despite his supposedly safe sanctuary. Knowing the mere fact of standing there was incredible; he felt a strong sensation of gratefulness as he looked at the woman who truly saved his life. She was the miracle he desperately sought when there was seemingly no hope left. Yet, he did not understand how the miracle came to be. He had so many questions.

Finished tying her hair, Prue let her arms fall to her hips as she turned and asked Charlie if he was hungry. He had not thought about it but he realised that he had not eaten since the previous day. Immediately drawn to his stomach, it began to gurgle and moan as if it had been waiting to be noticed all day. Nodding, he did not want to put his host out by taking her food but this time he made an exception. He was starving.

A few minutes later, he was sitting at the small kitchen table, stooped over a large bowl tomato soup, and freshly buttered bread as he gobbled the food down. The sensation of taste returned to his dry and cracked mouth as the warm liquid slid down his throat and warmed his belly like soothing gold. A warm sensation spread throughout his cold body from the ends of his fingers to his toes. Gulping down the last of the soup, he picked up the glass of orange juice left before him and hurriedly downed the juice within seconds. Manners and politeness did not escape him as he carefully silenced his burp under his breath.

Sitting on the worktop with her legs dangling free, Prue watched in amazement at how fast Charlie could eat when hungry. When he was finished the bread, she asked if he wanted more but he shook his head and said, ‘’No thanks but I definitely needed that!’’, gesturing to the empty bowl. ‘’Thanks.’’

Slouching slightly, Charlie gave his body a few minutes to adjust and digest. He looked at everything in the kitchen except Prue to avoid awkward eye contact. Despite everything she had done, he still sat in a stranger’s apartment, eating her food whilst he waited for god knows what. His eyes trailed around the room from the old fifties style fridge, the overfull sink, wooden cupboards to the brown/white chequered lino floor. He started to feel slightly uncomfortable, not only because of the silence but also of the many questions he needed answering.

‘’How did you find me?’’ he asked, completely off the top of his head.

Prue smiled, looking up at the fly buzzing around the light bulb, which hung right above the kitchen table. She looked quiet relaxed as she looked back upon everything that had led up to that very moment. Sliding off the countertop, she pulled a chair across the floor and sat at the other end of the table. ‘’A tracking device I put under the car,’’ she said, rather thrilled with herself.

Charlie’s eyes truly opened with a mixture of wonder and disbelief. He knew the next question he should have asked was why but instead, he opted for curiosity. ‘’A — A tracking device?’’ he said, feeling rather suspicious. ‘’Where in the world did you get one of those?’’

Prue’s relaxed state cracked, ever so slightly, as her thin smile turned to puckered brow. ‘’From people I know at the club,’’ she said, sounding as if she was in a witness stand.

Charlie could sense another self of Prue, emerging from deep within and it made him feel uneasy. He felt it was certainly not the appropriate time to get to know one another. Making himself appear oblivious to her behaviour, he tried to speak but could not find the apt thing to say. A part of him told his mind told him that Prue wanted to say something important about herself, which also related to the situation with Dave but he did not wish to pry into her personal business. ‘’What — are you like — like a secret spy or something?’’ he said, mentally slapping himself.

‘’You’re not making this easy for me, are you?’’ said Prue, looking down at her fumbling fingers. She did not say anything for a moment as she bowed her head, refusing to make contact as her eyes bubbled with shame. ‘’I’m a — I’m a —,’’ She stopped, taking quick breaths to calm herself, ‘’ — get a grip, Prue! You’re gonna have to tell him anyway!’’

His full attention on what she was about to say, Charlie had a slight idea of what she may be hiding but he did not want to imply in case he was horribly wrong. ‘’Prue, you don’t have to tell me anything,’’ he said, offhandedly. ‘’There’s no reason to -,’’

‘’I’m an escort, Charlie, a prostitute, a WHORE!’’ she said, making brief eye contact before looking away, quivering slightly. ‘’I sell - I sell my “unique” body to men who are into that sort of thing!’’

Feeling slightly shocked, Charlie felt he had already guessed after she referred to a ‘’club’’. Pondering the relevance of Prue’s sudden divulgement, he did not want to appear selfish or uncaring so he shakily touched her arm as she had done for him when he woke up. ‘’It’s okay,’’ he said, feeling as if the roles had been reversed.

Lifting her weary head, Prue’s eyes simmered with pain but her face remained stony and pale white. ‘’This is not about me so I don’t want to talk about it,’’ she said, unreceptively pulling away her arm. ‘’I have never told anyone that before and I never to intend to again but there are two reasons why it had to be you!’’. Her head hung oblique. She opened her mouth to continue talking but no words passed her lips. Hesitant, she looked as if she had noticed something vital.

Taken aback by Prue’s hostility, Charlie unexpectedly felt himself becoming lost in her saddened stare. Like Prue, he tried to speak but he was prevented by the hurt he choked back in his throat. The sheer pain swimming around her deep blue eyes reminded him of his own. He felt an odd sense of connection and understanding, something he did not empathize during the time he first met her. He recalled seeing anger, confusion, fear, and pain in her as she applied his makeup that day. He now comprehended her feelings. They resonated with his own and it hurt so terribly.

Gently nodding as if she could read Charlie’s thoughts, she leaned in close to his face, eyes locking directly across from his. ‘’I told you once you reminded me of myself. This is true because from the moment I first saw you, I felt myself reliving many experiences from my past. Such feelings I hope never to experience again,’’ she said, frailty entering unto her dry tone. ‘’I could see so much anger, pain, confusion, loneliness that it — that it made me feel vaguely responsible for you. When I sought after your blackmailer, you can rest assure that it was purely out of empathy and not for vengeance.’’

Lost for words, Charlie felt an overpowering sense of connection, spirit, and resonance. Prue had gone through much of the same, if not worse, experiences than he had. She knew how it felt and because her honesty was so truthful, so pure, it made the hot grief stored up in his heart spill from his eyes and trail down his cold cheeks. He did not physically feel like he was not crying, rather, hidden deep down was a truer part of his self that wept. A part of himself repressed.

He could not understand why Prue would put herself through such hardship despite the fact that she obviously hated herself for it. He could not help but feel that she was being forced by someone else to sell her body. He dared not ask for she had already voiced her wish to not speak of it.

The apartment began to vibrate and tremor yet again as another train rapidly thundered by the window, wheels shrieking against the track before fading off into the distance, and leaving the kitchen still and relatively quiet. The sound of water dripping into the sink, the fridge buzzing, and the thumping music made them both feel isolated and lonely.

Charlie felt as if the train had awoken him from the deep, hypnotic trance cast by Prue’s vibrant blue eyes. He wiped away the tears with the corner of his hand and sniffed. He was sick to death of crying. ‘’Sorry,’’ he said, clearing his throat and breathing out. He leaned back in the seat and stretched slightly. Gazing back unto Prue, she looked as if she was waiting for him to say something back. Confused, he brushed it off and kept to the point. ‘’I understand,’’ he said, somewhat smiling. ‘’I really do and you’re right but what is the second reason for telling me of your — of your night job?’’

Prue was shifting about restlessly in her seat as she was asked the uncomfortable question. She looked like a child who had done something terrible. ‘’Um, well, you see — uh — I sort of forced Dave into taking my place for the night at the club…’’

‘’Okay,’’ Charlie nodded, feeling lightheaded as he grabbed onto the table to stop himself from falling to the ground. An icy wave of dread fell upon him, freezing his brain, which felt like it needed rebooting. He felt sick in the stomach as boiling blood rushed to his head. He had just remembered something he had realised and promised to himself that morning in the car.

‘’He deserves it, Charlie!’’ insisted Prue, grasping his hands to bring him back to her. ‘’He’s completely delusional and this is the only way to make him realise what he has done to you!’’

Charlie shut his eyes and shook his head with disagreement. ‘’No — no you don’t understand, I just remembered that I have to tell my family everything. Forcing Dave to — to sleep with men or whatever isn’t going to solve anything! My - My family, friends, and everyone undoubtedly knows that he and I are missing! Nobody ever knew of a connection between us before so I cannot escape it!’’

‘’You can tell everyone what really happened if that is what you want to do but it won’t make your life any easier by getting the law and everyone else involved,’’ said Prue, her face filled with passionate colour. ‘’I know what it’s like to be taken advantage of, to be humiliated and degraded beyond all meaning. You can force your mother and sister to stay quiet about the blackmail BUT they will constantly feel the cold stab of injustice as the problem remains right outside your door and that problem is Dave!’’

‘’What other choice to I have!’’ Charlie yelled, slamming his fist furiously down on the table.

Startled by his vicious outburst, Prue held her breath, eyes agape, with a frightened expression on her solemn face. She exhaled deeply as her heart slowed down. ‘’You’re not thinking clearly. You have more than one choice,’’ she said, calmly looking at her clenched fist. ‘’Your blackmailers comeuppance has arrived and you can make him do or say whatever you please. You’re forgetting that the tables have turned for you, Charlie. It is time you stand up and make the decisions for yourself.’’

***

Staring through a smeared and scratched window, Charlie gaped at the passing rooftops flying by in a blur as the train rumbled along the elevated track. Sunlight flickered and streamed in between the buildings and alleyways, occasionally forcing him squint or look away. The sky was clear blue and promised a warm healthy summer’s day. The metallic sound of the vandalized carriages thrashing, banging, and screeching filled the ears of the passengers along with the frequent intercom announcements between stations.

’’The next stop is Lower Marshall Street,’’ said the distorted, voice over the intercom.

Charlie looked at Prue to ask if it was their stop but she immediately shook her head before he could utter a single syllable. Feeling nervous, he returned to staring out of the window. His view soon shrouded in complete darkness as the train descended into the underground tunnels. He barely noticed that his forefinger was anxiously tapping his juddering leg as he delved into his conscience. Feeling a boiling sense of trepidation, he quarrelled with the promise he made to himself the previous morning. The time when he felt all hope was lost. He swore to himself that if he ever got the chance to go home, he would tell his mother and sister the truth about everything he had been hiding.

Now, he felt he was going against his word by covering up everything with a lie. Appreciating that the tables had certainly turned, he now understood that the one who had been viciously blackmailing him rested firmly beneath his thumb. He could force him to comply with a cover-up story, a lie, an alibi. Yet despite knowing that the opportunity was available, he still questioned whether it was the right thing to do after making such a significant promise. He also wondered if it was right to let Dave away with everything he had done but then he reminded himself that he just wanted it all to end rather than wrest vengeance.

The train slowed down and the doors slid open. ‘’This is Lower Marshall Street Station. The next stop is East Branson,’’ announced the intercom. The few passengers that were on board got off before a mob of rush hour workers and citizens flooded into the carriages. Within twenty seconds, the train took off down the subway, wheels spreading sparks, clasped to the iron railings.

Charlie started to bite his nails to cope with the nerves he felt deep down, rattling his bones, and prodding his mind. He felt uncertain of the plan. He did not feel confident in its ability to succeed. Creating an alibi was risky and dangerous. He knew how Dave could be wilfully unpredictable and deceptive. He felt that the blackmailer was disorderly therefore could not be ordered. The only self-assurance he felt was Prue’s confidence in herself and of the plan, even if she did appear to disagree with the resolution to be untruthful to family, regardless of her coming up with the idea in the first place!

He wondered what Prue had done to Dave that made her appear so self-assured. He did not have a chance to ask her because she slept shortly after they discussed the alibi. He was not sure if he wanted to know. He stayed awake through the night because he had already slumbered all day long. When Prue awoke that morning, she gave him her phone number and lent him some of her clothes (which were actually boys), a pair of navy sweatpants, the grey t-shirt tucked in, and a green bomber jacket. He also showered and had the false nails removed from his fingers. However, he could not reverse the waxed legs or the thinned eyebrows. He had no idea how he was going to explain them if someone noticed. He knew he would have to wear his fringe down and always wear trousers for a while until the hair grew back.

A thousand uncertainties sat upon his mind as the train continued to rush through the underground. Carriages swayed, pushing into one another, noisily knocking, and smashing as some passengers coughed under their breaths, crinkled newspapers, and chattered too loud over the phone. Prue remained silent and looked serious yet oddly satisfied. Sitting with her legs crossed, she wore a tight pair of blue jeans, extremely high-waisted with the legs rolled a few inches above her ankles. Tucked into them, was a deep green shirt, buttoned down a few notches, with the sleeves rolled all the way up her arms. On her feet was a pair of black and white converse, ankle-less, and slightly tatty. Aviator sunglasses covered her eyes with a silver nose piercing, and her short blue hair was done in a ponytail.

The number of passengers decreased by each station until there were no more than a few scattered in each car. The train ascended up from and the tunnels and crossed the east district bridge that led to the The Ampthills, which was the north-eastern quarter of the city. After the thirty-five minute transit, they eventually arrived at their stop which was declared as, ‘’East Brook Station’’.

Giving a slight nod to signify their stop, Prue stood up, and held her handbag firmly to her side. ‘’We’re getting off here,’’ she said, as she dug into her handbag.

Feeling a complete sense of dread, Charlie had hoped they would never arrive at the stop. He dolefully followed her onto the platform, tiredly dragging his feet after him as the hot sun pelted down upon the rear of his neck. ‘’Is the place far from here?’’ he asked, looking around the relatively empty station.

Prue fished out a box of cigarettes, withdrew one, and placed it between her lips as she looked ahead through her dark shades. ‘’Not too far,’’ she said, scratching a match against flint and raising the flame to the head. ‘’It’s just down the end of this street,’’ she said through clasped lips, giving a nodding gesture forward before taking a long drag.

They moved forward and down the steps onto the street below. As they walked with each other, it was clear that they were both beginning to feel tense and anxious as they approached the club. They barely said a word to each other. Prue stared ahead, military-like, and staid as she stressfully smoked her cigarette. Charlie tried to walk slowly in an attempt delay the oncoming confrontation but Prue’s swift pace kept him on due course.

The Ampthills was a moderately small district but it was completely separate to the rest of the city. Not exactly known for its narrow, steep, and hilly streets; rather, the borough was more famous for its rampant crime culture of all classes and nature. From bootlegged products to class A drugs and prostitutes, it was not exactly a place Charlie ever felt inclined to visit. The quarter’s eclectic number of foreign nationals gave it a truly international atmosphere, from the compacted street markets, multicultural bars, shops, and fish ports to the occasional argument shared down steam-rising alleyways.

Swiftly sauntering down the sidewalk, Charlie and Prue steered clear of pedestrians, and casually overtook slow walkers. They were in a rush to get to their destination and spared now time to other expenses.

Charlie could not avoid the obvious tension he shared with Prue. She had barely talked throughout the entire trip and she appeared to be hiding herself behind the dark sunglasses. Swallowing down his fears, he rallied up the nerve to confront the divergence he felt. ‘’Correct me if I’m mistaken, but you’ve been very quiet since I made the decision to go through with this,’’ he said, wedging through a group of people as they crossed the road.

Deeply inhaling her cigarette, Prue exhaled through her nose, refusing to look at him. ‘’The decision to continue lying to your family?’’ she said, turning onto a deserted and narrow street. ‘’Nope. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest bit!’’

Charlie could not tell if she was being sarcastic but her stubbornness was beginning to aggravate him. ‘’Look, I don’t need you — a — a complete stranger judging the decisions I make with my life!’’ he said, feeling his blood boiling. ‘’You came up with the bloody idea!’’

Prue immediately stopped, threw the cigarette to the ground, and quickly took her shades off, unleashing the vibrancy of her deep blue eyes. ‘’It’s not the lie that worries me!’’ she said abruptly. ‘’If anything, I agree with how much it can help you but It’s what it could possibly lead to that makes me feel like a — like an enabler when I know I shouldn’t!’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ asked Charlie, feeling astray and sickly.

Prue grasped Charlie’s arm, attempting to make him understand and connect. ‘’Look, if I was in your position right now, I wouldn’t like telling my family these personal secrets under such severe circumstances but I need to know that this isn’t going to be a permanent get-out-of-jail card for you,’’ she said, looking into him with sincerity and gravity. ‘’I need to know if you can disallow these horrible experiences and secrets to burden you for the rest of your life. You can’t hide these things forever. I understand you can’t reveal yourself yet but you need to tell someone close to you when you feel it is right.’’

Charlie could not believe what he was hearing. He was unable to fathom how a person who barely knew him could assume so much. ‘’Prue, this whole cross-dressing thing was just a phase, a brief desire to —,’’ laughing, he looked away for a moment. ‘’It just started out as curiosity and I never meant to be caught and — well - it just blew up into this one big thing! Once this is over, you can rest assure that there will be no burdens to bear! No more cross-dressing!’’

‘’You’re not thinking about his clearly, Charlie!’’ said Prue, urgently placing both hands on his arms. ‘’You know I can understand your feelings and a part of that I can plainly see is denial. Once this is over, I beg you to look within, find yourself, and then, only then, you will understand yourself enough to let loved ones know of your true self. Don’t shut yourself away from family. I could be right or completely wrong but -,’’

‘’ - you’re completely wrong!’’ Charlie interjected, angrily throwing her arms away. ‘’I appreciate all of your help; I really do, but don’t just think of yourself as some all-knowing guru who can solve my problems! Even if you can see things then it’s none of your god damn business!’’ he yelled, taking a few steps back from her. ‘’You sound just like Dave,’’ he added, shaking his head before turning away. He had no idea where he was going but he walked away nevertheless, feeling incredibly angry and misled.

Utterly crushed by Charlie’s hurtful stab, Prue frowned, strutted after him in another attempt to be incentive. ‘’Wait up!’’ she said, running forward a few steps. ‘’I know it’s not my place but I implore you to think about what I have said when all of this is over. Don’t make the same mistakes I’ve made by allowing secrecy to destroy you and everything you hold closest to your heart. I’m not asking you to make a promise for me but please, please promise yourself. Find trust to tell somebody what you feel is necessary and righteous because in the end -,’’ She stopped for a moment as if she realised something, ‘’ — because in the end, family is all you have…’’

Charlie did not want to listen to what he felt was another lecture. He turned around to Prue who looked hopeful of a resolution. ‘’The sooner we get to this club, the sooner I can go home,’’ he said, gesturing her to lead the way.

Within minutes, they had arrived at their destination, which was down a short cobbled alleyway. They entered through a large metal door with a sign hanging above that read, ‘’Foxes Gentlemen’s Club’’ written in neat golden italics. Stepping into darkness, Prue flicked the light switch, revealing a narrow hallway, which was carpeted with deep red on the walls and floors. Inside the door, there was a small box office, protected by iron bars. It was empty.

‘’It’s just down here,’’ said Prue, nodding forward as she dropped the keys into her bag.

They moved down the narrow hallway, stifled music growing louder, before entering the club through another set of thick double doors. The club was rather huge, lit with pinks, purples, and blues. A dozen circular stages with poles in the middle were scattered amongst an array of carefully placed armchairs and coffee tables for punters to carelessly throw their money away. Two glass-topped bars ran around the perimeter of the room, wine, and beer glasses hanging down from above, with the shelves stocked with usual and exotic beverages from around the world. Absorbed by the old-fashioned carpet, easy-going jazz flowed through the air, relaxing the senses, and easing the tension.

Charlie had never been to a ‘Gentlemen’s Club’ before because he was too young, but he could tell it obviously a place for the wealthy. He expected to see Dave somewhere but he was nowhere in sight. Instead, he spotted a man sitting at the bar, hunched over, with a cloud of smoke hanging above in the purple light. Looking to Prue for guidance, she failed to acknowledge him as she simply walked ahead. ‘’Sit for a moment,’’ she said, not requiring his company. ‘’I have to talk alone with someone.’’

Feeling rather snubbed and a little marred, Charlie waited behind, watching Prue walk towards the bar. He sat down on the nearest armchair and looked around the club with a strange mixture of wonder and slight anxiety. He never thought he would find himself in such a place. ‘’I have to get home soon,’’ he muttered.

Prue approached the man sitting at the bar. He was dark, rather lumpy, and dressed completely in black. Ignoring her presence, he took a deep drag of his cigar before taking a swig of vodka. He looked like he was drinking all night for his eyes were bloodshot and sagged, much to the uneasiness of Prue. ‘’Thanks for everything yesterday,’’ she said, her voice slightly higher in pitch. ‘’I appreciate the help — I mean — we both did.’’

His chair creaking, the man looked over his shoulder, leering at Charlie before returning his attention to the bar. ‘’Does he even realise what kind of people he’s dealing with here?’’ he said, scoffing as he raised the bottle to his lips. ‘’I bet his balls haven’t even dropped yet.’’

‘’He doesn’t have to know,’’ said Prue. ‘’You can go now.’’

Laughing raucously, the man heaved himself off the bar stool, grabbed Prue’s arm and reeled her into to his face. ‘’I can come and go as I please, tranny!’’ he said, eyes bulging and broiling monstrously. ‘’The only reason I stayed here all night is because I expect to be rewarded very, very handsomely.’’ Letting go, he grabbed his jacket, threw it over his shoulder, and drunkenly stood rooted to the spot. ‘’The boss is back in a couple of days,’’ he said, his coordination jumbled and surly. ‘’He’s not going to be happy when he finds out that his special girl hasn’t been doing her job lately!’’

‘’I know he’s coming back. He called me last night,’’ sneered Prue.

Ignoring her, the lumpy man raised his arms and wiggled his fingers. ‘’The boss is all knowing,’’ he said, mimicking a magician, hiccupping, before swaying around towards the exit door. ‘’He is ALL KNOWING!’’ he repeated, his voice booming throughout the club. He left through the side door, villainously chortling.

Suddenly appearing beside Prue, Charlie asked what had just happened, breaking her out of a bewildered trance. She brushed it off as nothing and walked away, signalling him to follow. They climbed up two flights of stairs, which led to a hotel-like corridor, carpeted and painted luxuriously.

Charlie could feel his heart thumping like a horses hoofs on a dirt road, continuously gaining momentum as he glided down the hallway. His mind flipped into overdrive as his entire body over boiled with simmering heat, his skin moistening with anxious sweat. They stopped outside a door, to which, a muffled voice could be heard on the other side. He looked at Prue and received a single nod in return. She knocked on the door and the voice from the other side stopped talking.

Seconds later, the dark, towering man peered out from the door. ‘’Oh hi, Lolita! Please don’t tell me my times up already?’’ he said, sounding disenchanted.

‘’I’m afraid so. Get dressed and be out of here in thirty seconds, pronto!’’ ordered Prue.

Looking slightly aroused by Prue’s strict demeanour, the creepy man slipped back inside the room, and shut the door. There was silence for a moment until a subdued scream infiltrated the walls.

It was Dave.

Charlie was scared. He looked to Prue for resonance but she just stood impatiently, wearing a cold and unsmiling face as she carelessly withdrew another cigarette and lit it. ‘’Why did he call you Lolita?’’ he asked, trying to mute his nerves.

‘’It’s the name I use when I work here,’’ said Prue, taking a deep drag of smoke into her lungs and exhaling. ‘’That’s not relevant right now.’’

It kind of is!

The tall, creepy man opened the door, mumbling thanks as he clumsily buckled up his belt, and waddled down the hallway. ‘’I’ll see you again soon, Lolita!’’.

Charlie hesitated, swallowed down his fears, and entered the room with Prue, his guardian, by his side. In front of him, was the four-poster bed, standing gloriously as the centrepiece of the burlesque-style furnishings. He could hear nothing but the heavy breathing of someone hiding beneath the blankets. He looked at Prue and she gestured towards the bed. Feeling as if he was nearing a cliff edge, he nervously moved to the bed, his hand trembling as he raised it towards the blankets.

Pulling them over, he instantly turned away, eyes shut, as if he had just opened a body bag. There beneath the blankets was Dave, rolled over on his side, arms wrapped around his hairless and semi-naked body as he whimpered and shook like a wounded animal. His blonde wig remained intact, hanging over his face as his arms covered and pressed into his chest-bound breasts. His corset undone, the skirt, blouse, and top absent, he wore only a pair of white panties with a slight lace trim.

There was blood stained on the satin sheets.

Unable to see who had entered the room, Dave slowly rolled over, grimacing in pain as he revealed his face from behind the wig. Smudged and blotched in patches, the makeup, which he wore, looked monstrous and deformed by an excessive amount of burning tears. He looked like a distorted jester with his pink lipstick smeared over his chin and cheeks, his eye shadow darkly drooping and tearful, with his charred, and cracked foundation that looked ever so uncomfortable. As he looked up at Charlie, he immediately began to sob and blubber like a child, mouthing the words, ‘’I’m sorry.’’

As he looked upon the pathetic creature before him, Charlie could not help but feel a strong sense of pity welling up inside him, in spite of everything the horrible creature had done to him. If anything, he felt more repulsed than sympathetic.

Prue strutted over and violently pulled Dave off the bed. ‘’Put your clothes on!’’ she snapped, aggressively throwing him to the floor.

Yelping like a dog, Dave scurried across the floor in search of his uniform. Grabbing the skirt, he immediately rose to his feet and pulled it up his legs before grabbing the blouse and buttoning it up a few notches. He backed into the corner, cowering as his eyes darted from Charlie to Prue like a defenceless baby deer. ‘’Please,’’ he said hoarsely. ‘’…please don’t hurt me!’’

Prue took out a small digital camera from her bag and immediately began snapping shots of Dave dressed in his degrading attire. ‘’Gorgeous, baby! You’re a tiger! You’re a beast! I want to hear you growl!’’ she tittered, impersonating an archetype photographer, as the flash continuously snapped pictures.

However, Charlie was not laughing nor was he amused by the the look of ruin and vulnerability on Dave’s face as he helplessly recoiled into the corner. He watched in disbelieve as the blackmailer who once had complete control over him, retreat and flinch into absolute exposure. Once again, Charlie felt himself fall in between his morals as he contemplated the right thing to do. Hidden deep down, memories of his time with Dave began to pop up in his memory.

Put the uniform on immediately or I’ll send this picture of you to everyone in school, right here, right now on my phone.
In time you’ll learn that so put on that pretty little outfit unless you prefer to have your dignity destroyed forever.
When I look at you, I am looking at a beautiful girl, when I touch you, I am touching a girl, and when I kiss you, I am kissing a girl.

‘’Would you leave me alone for a moment, please?’’ Charlie asked, politely gesturing Prue towards the door. He knew he would not be able to speak with Dave properly until the one he feared most had left the room. ‘’I just need to chat with him in private.’’

Prue looked at Dave and then at Charlie. ‘’Okay,’’ she said disappointedly, turning and leaving for the door. ‘’I’ll be waiting outside if anything goes haywire.’’

Charlie relaxed himself, breathing out calmly as he slowly moved around the bed, pitifully looking at the squirming creature eying him from the corner. ‘’I’m sorry that it had to come to this,’’ he said, honest and true as he stopped at the end of the bed and placed his hands on the footboard. ‘’I had been thinking of countless ways to beat you for months that I — that I never expected it to be like this.’’

Dave slowly moved out of the corner, clearly appearing more at ease since Prue was no longer present. Silent, no words passed his lips as he looked away from Charlie, at his body, and then shamefully towards the door. There was no escape from his humiliation. He opened his mouth to speak. ‘’Charlie I -,’’

‘’Don’t, just don’t,’’ said Charlie, apathetically shaking his head. ‘’You’ve done enough talking. It’s my turn now.’’

Rooted to the floor, Dave turned quiet and did not move a muscle. He was staring down at his feet, squashed into the heels, flinching at the sight of them.

‘’How does it make you feel?’’ Charlie asked.

Dave did not respond or move from his spot. He began muttering something very quietly under his breath.

Straining to hear what Dave was saying, Charlie moved in closer, startling his captive in the process. ‘’What are you saying?’’ Charlie asked, standing directly in front of him. His ears caught two words uttered through Dave’s lips that were, ‘’Don’t answer.’’ Backing away, Charlie did not feel too comfortable standing so close to his blackmailer, ‘’You will answer me,’’ he said with courage and authority.

Lifting his head, Dave muttered, ‘’You know how I feel!’’, before letting himself fall against the wall. His back slid down until his rear hit the floor, hot grief spilling from his eyes and melting his face. ‘’You know,’’ he said repeatedly through the steamy blur of tears before trailing off into frantic sobbing. ‘’You know how I feel…’’

‘’Good,’’ said Charlie, approaching Dave with caution before kneeling down next to him. ‘’Now you understand what it’s like, but tell me — I want to hear you say it.’’

Lying against the wall, Dave’s chest heaved as inhuman sobs rose from deep within. Shaking his head, he burst into tears in a disturbingly girlish fashion as he buried his face into his hands. ‘’What do you want me to say?’’ he said, throwing his hands up before shielding his distorted face from view.

‘’I want to hear you voice your feelings to me,’’ said Charlie, trembling because he was both scared and angry. ‘’I need to know if it’s gotten through to you.’’

Hesitantly turning his head, Dave closed his eyes, streams flowing, before opening them, wide and simmering. ‘’I feel worthless,’’ he said shakily. ‘’Degraded. Afraid. Lonely.’’

Charlie felt something click inside him as he listened to Dave pour out his heart. He moved away, feeling uncomfortable with the strange feelings welling up inside him, a sensation of resonance and reverberation. As he looked into Dave’s soaked and bloodshot eyes, he could see a human side for the first time ever. Looking completely different in this light, he appeared fragile yet pure and real. He felt he was supposed to be angry rather than sympathetic.

Clearly distressed by Charlie’s stunned silence, Dave began to blurt out nonsensical explanations and apologies. ‘’I’m sorry — I — I cannot help it, I — I get ill — I’m not well — I mean I have b-been very sick and it has b-become worse recently and I — P-Please don’t send that man back!’’

Rising to his feet, Charlie felt an extremely powerful urge to leave at that very moment, for the sight of Dave was making him think and feel disturbing connections to his blackmailer’s woe. ‘’You won’t be seeing that man again unless you don’t do as I tell you. Do you understand what I’m saying here?’’ said Charlie, shrinking his pity to revert to authority.

Dave nodded miserably. ‘’I just w-want to get out of here,’’ he stammered.

‘’Well, when we do allow you to go home, you will tell your father everything you’ve been up to and I mean everything. Prue will be there with you so you won’t try anything funny like altering the truth,’’ said Charlie, grim-faced and cold, as he paced back and forth. ‘’You will then —‘’ He swallowed and licked his lips, struggling to list the next order, as it was quiet a huge one. ‘’ — you will then leave town and never return.’’

Dave immediately jumped to his feet, startling Charlie in the process. ‘’You can’t expect me to -,’’

‘’It’s either that or you go to jail for blackmail so take your pick!’’ shot Charlie. ‘’The only people who will know what truly happened will be you, your father, Prue, and myself. I consider that a much better deal than you deserve! If I was actually a girl, your ass would belong to the police right now but I’m not a girl, I’m a boy! Something you struggled to comprehend over the past few months. So you see, I’m not going to tell my secrets just because you put me in a position where I felt forced to do so. It’s not time.’’

Dave opened his mouth to protest but Charlie warned him not to by flashing a threatening look. ‘’Finally, if you manage to find yourself in a tight position where you must answer to the connection between you and I, you will tell them you were selling me green leafs and tablets because that was the reason you were outside my house. You understand that I’m referring to my family here?’’

‘’Yes,’’ Dave gibbered, eyeing the door fearfully.

‘’If you don’t comply then those pictures of you in that outfit will be posted all over Facebook,’’ said Charlie, refusing eye contact. ‘’You should also know that if you don’t play along, Prue would be very pleased to see you back here to spend more time with customers. Understand?’’

Dave did not say a word. He gave a stiff nod. Not a single articulate sound passed his lips as blood ran down his leg and tears from his eyes.

Charlie felt he had made himself clear and wanted to leave immediately before he felt any differently. He took one last look at Dave for the very last time, feeling strangely hollow, as he turned his back and walked towards the door. He did not say goodbye; rather, he stopped and thought for a moment. Two images suddenly came to him, the photograph of Dave happily and humanly embracing Julie as they shared a tender kiss, the other being Dave as a child celebrating his birthday as his mother proudly looked upon him. He felt sad as he thought about Dave’s possible humanity.

He turned around to see Dave sitting miserably on the bedside, his face buried in his hands, as he hunched over his knees. He felt unsure of what he was about to say but a massive part of him made him feel as if it was the right thing to do. ‘’Dave,’’ said Charlie, his voice quivering. ‘’I cannot possibly forgive you but I understand. You don’t want to be here. Bad things happen. But you can still change.’’

At that, Charlie turned his back on Dave and left the room feeling as if a massive weight had been lifted. He looked at Prue, who had waited outside the door. ‘’You were right about everything,’’ he said compassionately, ‘’but now it’s time for me to go home.’’

Prue smiled, just a little bit at first, but it grew, beaming from ear-to-ear as colour returned to her pale face. ‘’Thank you,’’ she said delightedly, appearing completely over the moon. She brought Charlie into a warm hug and wrapped her arms snugly around him. Charlie was immediately brought back to the comfort of the costume shop as his nose filled with the scent of blueberries and smoke. He had no worries and felt as if he had just fallen into a perfect dream. ‘’Go and be happy,’’ Prue whispered into his ear before breaking away.

Grinning blissfully, Charlie nodded and broke into a brisk stride down the hallway, through the club, and up onto the dark alleyway. He sauntered towards the light, his pace growing faster and faster, before progressing into a run. Bursting into the light, he vigorously ran as the the sunlight warmed his shoulders and the wind blew through his hair. He wanted to be home at that very second. He needed to be with his family and he felt public transport was too boring and restrictive. So he ran!

He did not stop as he pounded across the south district bridge in the direction of home. He felt unchained and free of worries as the breeze caressed his skin. This was what he dreamed of for so long. He did not care about the puzzled stares of passersby or the bewildered criticisms of other pedestrians as he rushed through the streets of the city. He felt as if he had clocked up so much energy over the past few months that it was now practically unlimited. He was invincible.

He did not stop for one second as he legged it across an entire borough until he was in the suburbs. He chuckled to himself uncontrollably every few minutes as light seeped back into his life. He had never felt happier. Feeling overheated, he threw off the bomber jacket and picked up the pace forward. Sweat covering his entire body; his long shaggy hair flowed back, taking refuge amongst the streams of wind blowing through it.

Charlie eventually reached his cul-de-sac, huffing and puffing as he slowed down into a steady walk. Feeling his muscles ache and his lungs bereft of oxygen, he started to feel nerves creeping up on him as he approached his house. Peering out from behind the hedge as he neared the driveway, he felt a weight fall into the pit of his stomach as he spotted a police squad car parked in the drive beside his mother’s minivan. He gulped, feeling an oncoming storm as the joy of freedom quickly drained away.

He stood and stared at the house for a moment, taking it all in. Just the previous day, he thought he would never see it again but there he was. He wiped his forehead and took the first brave step towards the door. He opened the front gate, which creaked as always. Before he could take another step, the front door swung open. Looking up, he saw his mother standing there at the doorway with a look of sheer disbelief and shock on her face.

‘’Hi, Mom,’’ he said, kicking himself for sounding stupidly causal.

Mary stared at Charlie for what seemed like eternity as she stepped down the patio and looked at him as if he were a figment of her imagination. She slowly approached before running right up to him, grabbing him by the shoulders, and shaking him erratically. ‘’Where were you?!’’ she screamed. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red raw from crying. ‘’What happened?!’’

Charlie had no idea what to say as his mother shook the living daylights out of him.

‘’Don’t do that to me again, Charlie!’’ Mary screamed, taking her son into an extremely tight hug. ‘’Don’t do that again,’’ she whispered, quieter and more softly into his ear.

Feeling himself beginning to tear up too, Charlie opened his eyes to see Rachel, Kayla, and her father Richard standing in the doorway amongst his hazy blur. He smiled at them.

‘’I thought I’d lost you,’’ cried Mary. ‘’I thought I’d lost you forever.’’

‘’It’s okay, Mom. I’m home,’’ said Charlie. ‘’I’m home…’’

Everything in Charlie’s life became slow and dreary after a period of unexpected escalation. Yes, he returned home to his family after nearly being kidnapped by a psychotic blackmailer. However, that did not mean everything would immediately return to normal. There were still a lot of unanswered questions pressing on the minds of those who loved Charlie and he knew they would start asking sooner rather than later. He had prepared every nook and cranny of a cover story so extensive that he almost believed it himself. At least he wanted to anyway.

The time of questioning came two days after Charlie had returned and it took place at the kitchen table with Mary at one end, and Charlie at the other. Rachel sat in the middle, as if she was preparing herself to be the mediator of an oncoming fight. The clock ticked tiresomely to the sound of chairs creaking and occasional sighs. It was very awkward indeed.

“So where did you disappear to, Charlie?” Mary asked, staring blankly as she nursed her coffee. “Tell us exactly what happened.”

“I think you owe the truth by now,” said Rachel, moving her hand towards Charlie’s arm without touching him.

Charlie sat back in his chair, feeling his entire body flush over with heat as he prepared to lie through his teeth once again. He could not believe himself at that moment as he refused to look at his mother directly the eyes. Feeling interrogated, he dug hard into the sweaty palms of his hands with his nails until he could no longer bare the pain. “I – um – I was at a party,’’ he said hoarsely.

“What kind of party?” Mary asked, her tone suggesting she already knew the answer to her own question.

Charlie stared into the glint of light reflecting off the silver of the saltshaker, wishing he could disappear into it and never return.

“Not a – not a drug party?” said Rachel softly.

“Let him speak for himself, Rachel!” said Mary, raising her hand to subdue her daughter.

Charlie hesitated before giving a stiff nod. The silence in the room could have cut through him like a knife to butter.

“Charlie, look at me,” said Mary. “Look at me now.”

Charlie lifted his head to see his mothers face completely transformed from what it was just moments ago. She looked like she was trying her best to conceal her disappointment, which made him feel him feel even worse than he had originally anticipated.

“How long, Charlie?” she said, her voice beginning to crack.

Charlie looked at Rachel who looked more shocked rather than upset. “A couple of months now,” he said, hanging his head as he dug his nail into the tablecloth. “Don’t worry though. I haven’t been using any hard stuff. Just pills and herbs.”

Then, Mary said something that Charlie had not prepared himself for. “H-Have you been using drugs because of me?” she asked, almost child-like in tone.

“What – because of – because of you?” Charlie stammered, startled at the thought. “What on earth would make you say that?”

Mary hesitated, looking as if she was carefully considering her thoughts.

“…because I haven’t been the best Mom as of late, have I?” said Mary, beginning to tear up. “I’ve been – I’ve been neglecting you for my share of drink while t-trying to keep everything normal – it’s just - the mortgage, the never-ending bills, bills, bills, – I – I just don’t want the two best things in my life to t-turn sour because of my – because of my uselessness!” she said, wiping her eyes.

“Mom, this isn’t your fault!” Rachel urged, flashing a quick glare at her brother. “Tell her, Charlie!”

Beginning to grow restless in his seat, Charlie quickly shot up and walked around the table to his mother. He knelt down and took her arms into his hands. “Mom, look at me,’’ Charlie insisted, his eyes ablaze with sincerity. “None of this is your fault, do you understand?”

Mary reluctantly turned to face to her son. “I’m – I’m just so tired of feeling like this all of the t-time now. It’s too much, Charlie. It’s too much.”

“I know, I know, Mom. Believe me, we all get down, but you have to remember that when we hit our lowest point, we should be open to change,” said Charlie, gazing up at his mother’s drooped head as he gently took her hands. “Are you listening?”

“I’m so sorry!” Mary sobbed, her voice cracking under the sheer weight of emotion.

“Shh, don’t be saying that when you have nothing to apologise for,” said Charlie, feeling a lump of guilt grow in his throat. “I’m the one who should be apologising, not you, so quit stealing my lines here, Mom!” he said, feebly attempting to lighten the mood. He looked to Rachel whom now stood by Mary, softly comforting her shoulder as soothing consolation.

“Mom, look at me,” said Charlie. “I’m so, so sorry for what I put you through over the past few days. I’m sorry for my selfish and arrogant behaviour over the past few months and – and I’m just sorry about me!” he said, finally cracking under the heavy weight in his chest.

The hot sadness of his heart spilled from his eyes as Mary brought him into a motherly embrace. “Oh Charlie,” she said, clenching tight onto her son. “Don’t ever apologise for being you.”

Rachel’s timid awkwardness was eased as soon as her mother invited her into the embrace too. “Everything is going to okay from now on, Mom,” said Rachel. “We promise.”

Sniffling back her tears, Mary kissed both her children on the head. “I sure hope so,” she said. “J-Just don’t take drugs anymore, Charlie, because that’s a bad road to be going down.”

“I won’t, Mom. I promise.”

“I think it goes without saying b-but I think you should both stay away from that Dave character,” said Mary, beginning to sound more like herself again. “That boy has proven himself to be quite the bad influence on both of you.”

“No problem,” said Charlie.

“I think you should forget about paying off this place, Mom,” said Rachel. “It’s not worth all this hassle. It’s just a house.”

Mary did not respond for a moment as she took in what Rachel said. “We’ll talk about it later, honey.”

The night was crisp and cool. Barry O’Donnell breathed out condensation as he leafed through his abundance of keys until he found the right one. Cursing under his breath, his fingers fumbled with the cold as he unlocked the door and stepped inside his house. He took off his coat, threw it onto the hanger, and unloaded the weight of a hard day’s work off his shoulders with a deep sigh.

“Son! Are you home?” he called out as he walked over to the answering machine.

There was no response. The silence was broken when Barry pressed the answering machine button, “You have no new messages.”

His brow raised, Barry scratched his balding head as he called out for his son once again. “Dave, are you here?” he bellowed as he skimmed through various letters left on the table. “I guess not!” he said to himself, turning towards the kitchen.

He then heard an all too familiar creak in the floorboards right above his head. Looking up, Barry grimaced as he walked to the staircase and went upstairs. Walking down the hallway, he could see light pouring through the gap beneath the door into Dave’s bedroom. Increasing in pace, Barry pushed the door open, and nearly screamed with utter fright. “What on earth -,”

Dave was gagged and bound to a chair. He appeared to be exhausted. He was feminised from head-to-toe in female garb and makeup. A wig of long, shiny black hair hung down over his breast-formed cleavage, shown wonderfully through his unbuttoned sleeveless white blouse, which was neatly tucked into a short yet high-waisted black skirt that revealed every inch of his hosiery-smothered legs.

What alarmed Barry even more was the masked individual who emerged from the ensuite, dressed completely in black.

“Who are yo – what is the meaning of all this?!” Barry demanded as he stepped into the bedroom.

“Oh thank god you showed up,” said the masked individual in a female voice with a slight European accent. It was Prue. “I was beginning to wonder if you were coming home at all. I bet you’re wishing you hadn’t now!”

Barry took a few timid steps towards his son but was stopped by Prue’s raised hand. “Ah ba ba! Don’t go near him until I take you through the terms of this little debacle we’ve got here,” said Prue, standing behind Dave’s chair with her hands resting on his shoulders.

“I’m warning you, if you harm my son, I’ll –,“

“Look, I’ll spare you all the little details by cutting the chase,” said Prue. She clearly did not want to be there. “Your boy has been very, very busy making people’s lives a misery, Mr. O’Donnell.”

Barry looked at his son, his face wrinkled with outrage yet his eyes spoke of deep concern regarding Prue’s oncoming story. It was as if he was preparing himself to hear the worst of his son without even denying the truthfulness. “What have you been up to, Dave?” said Barry, worriedly shaking his head. “What have you DONE this time?”

Prue told Barry everything about his son’s actions, from his crippling breakup with Rachel to the blackmailing of Charlie and finally the attempted kidnapping. She explained everything in a cold and detached manner, which made it even worse for Barry, who looked upon his pathetic mess of a son, constrained and beautified to the chair, with a look or pure disgrace. Prue backed up her story with the photographs Dave had taken of Charlie dressed up along with other source material she has obtained herself.

The moment Prue finished talking; a deathly silence fell upon the room like a smothering blanket. Even Dave stopped snivelling and sobbing, as he looked up at his stunned father, anticipation shining through his marbled eyes.

Barry swallowed down what he just heard, briefly stroking his chin as he looked to the floor for help. “I see,” he said. He looked up at Prue, staring at her with revulsion. “You see, Dave gets quiet ill. He has problems regarding -,”

“I don’t care what your son has,” Prue interjected. “You can’t escape the fact that he blackmailed, assaulted, and attempted to kidnap someone because of his own delusions.”

“I understand, yes, b-but tell me something, how come you haven’t reported this to the police? What is it that you want – is it ah – is it money?”

“No. I don’t want any of your money, Mr. O’Donnell,” said Prue, her hand resting on top of Dave’s head. “I will report your son un -,”
Dave’s eyes could have popped out of their sockets as he gazed at his father with disbelief. “Hmmmphhhmmmpph,” he grumbled through the gag shoved in his mouth. He looked up at Prue through the corner of his eyes and began struggling under the binds.

“Then what do you want?!” Barry shouted, clearly upset by his son’s struggling. “Why have you done all this?”

“I wasn’t finished, Mr. O’Donnell,” said Prue, squaring right up to Barry, her fiery blue eyes piercing through the holes in her balaclava. “As much as I’d like see your boy behind bars, I’m going to give you both an alternative option, and it absolutely kills me to do this.”

“I – I don’t understand – why would you help my son after those – UNSPEAKABLE – things he did to that Charlie boy?” fumbled Barry, crashing under the tense closeness of Prue in front of him.

“Because I care about Charlie’s wellbeing,” said Prue. “Because I know what it’s like to be screwed around by monsters like your son, Mr. O’Donnell, but you need not fret about it much longer because you’re going to do something very, very important for me.”

“W-What’s that?” Barry stammered.

“I want you to leave,” Prue said coldly.

“And go where?” said Barry, half-laughing.

“Anywhere, as long as it’s far, far away from here,” said Prue, taking a few steps back to Dave, placing her hand on the back of his neck, she squeezed gently, as she stared into Barry’s eyes with sheer harshness. “Your boy tells me you’re a man of considerable wealth. Use one of your many houses on the other side of the country. Sell this place and never return.”

“You can’t just expect me to – ah – to just up and l-leave just like that!” said Barry, his face reddening with tension.

“There is no argument here,” said Prue, reinforcing her authority over the situation by slamming her hand down on Dave’s shoulder. He yelped like a frightened pup as he desperately looked at his father to consider.

“Hmmmphhhnbbbpph!” Dave grumbled through the gag in his mouth.

Barry was clearly trying his best to remain calm, but the sheer horror of everything Prue told him was starting to weigh down on his judgement. “Alright, alright! I’ll do what you want b-but please t-take your god damn hands off my son!” he said with increasing temperament.

“Do I have your word, Mr. O’Donnell?” shouting over Dave’s whimpers. “Do you promise to leave with your son and never return?”

“Yes! Yes!” shouted Barry, exasperated and panicked. “You have my word, now please, stop this madness at once!”

Prue took her hand off Dave and everything suddenly became still and quite. She glided towards the door, each step making Barry look even more terrified as she neared him. She stopped inside the doorframe and gazed into his eyes for a few moments before opening her mouth.

“You should consider this a real bargain, Mr. O’Donnell, because if this whole scenario was done my way, Dave would be in the custody of the police right now,” she said sternly. She turned to look at Dave one last time with a glint of detestation in her eye. “If you try to pull a fast one, I’ll know right away. I expect you both out of town this time next week.”

Prue turned her back on them both and walked briskly down the hallway. The sharp night air stabbed at her bare skin as she left through the front door of the house. Still masked, her pace increased with each step until she broke into a swift run down the neighbourhood. She ran around a sharp alleyway that connected to another housing estate. There, her motorbike lay hidden in the shadows.

She pulled off her mask, tears dripping down her pale cheeks as she whipped out her mobile phone. She quickly typed out a text message with rapid force, “It’s done. They’re leaving next week. Talk to you soon. Prue,” and sent it to Charlie. Wiping her tears way with the heel of her right hand, Prue threw her leg over the bike, started it up, and took off down the alleyway at great speed into the night.

Charlie always imagined the end of his blackmail to be a glorious defeat, an unloading of all the negative feelings he carried for months, a massive relief beyond comprehension. Unfortunately, this was not the case, for when he received that text from Prue, he could not help but feel conflicted in covering everything up with one huge lie. Yes, Dave was gone from his life, but only because he was too afraid to face the consequences of his cross-dressing. Because of his fears, he had to to lie through his teeth whilst forcing an innocent man to move away because of his sons terrible actions.

“Good. Talk to you again soon. Thanks for all this again,” he replied.

She did not text back.

Despite his never-ending angst, Charlie was trying his very best to stay positive by looking to the future instead of dwelling on the past. He was well aware he was being naïve, yes, because he knew it would take a long time for his emotional baggage to lighten in weight. At least he hoped it would anyway. He thought it was bizarre how nobody but himself and Prue would know what really happened. He now carried a huge part of himself that would be kept heavily under wraps. He likened himself to a half-cooked cake, as he was not ready to unveil himself yet.

Over the course of the week, Mary, Charlie, and Rachel sat down in the living room to discuss their future as a family. Charlie and Rachel both agreed that they should let the bank repossess the house because it was putting too much stress on their mother. Mary, on the other hand, was a little apprehensive at first but she was quickly convinced otherwise, as Rachel took her through the pros and cons.

“Look Mom, at the end of the day, it’s just a house,” Rachel stated. “We can move to a smaller rental place. Think about how much stress that would take off you because, at the moment, you’re breaking your back for something that’s not worth it.”

“It is worth it!” Mary sniped. “When your father and I moved here, we agreed to raise our children in a comfortable home an –“

“Yeah but Dad’s not here anymore, Mom! It’s just the three of us!” Rachel interjected. “You have to think realistically here.”

For a moment, Charlie expected his mother to have another manic outburst. However, she just started quickly nodding like a bird, tight-lipped, and sincere. “You’re absolutely right,” she said, looking to each of her children. “This damned house could be the death of me if I keep going like this. No, yes, you’re definitely right.”

Rachel let out a sigh of relief. “Mom, you don’t realise how relieved we are to hear you say that!”

“If we go through with this, I may need to find work elsewhere,” said Mary. “I mean, I’m getting a little old for waitressing now and I’d like to have a job that’s not so hectic and fast-moving.”

“And if need be, myself and Rachel could continue our part-time jobs at the weekend when we’re not at school,” Charlie added.

“Absolutely not!” said Mary, putting her foot down. “I’m not going to have you both working during your last year of secondary school when studying for your finals is of utmost importance!”

Before Charlie could argue his point, Rachel butted in with a quick glare. “Speaking of school, Charlie, we would have to attend a new one. I mean, whichever one is closest to our new home.”

Charlie wondered why Rachel made such a point out of changing schools. He was well aware of the logistics of moving houses. He looked at her for any signs of underlying meaning but all he could find was a vague, oddly suspicious glare in her eyes. “Yes, I know,” said Charlie.

“Okay, well I just wanted you to be clear,” said Rachel, turning her attention back to Mary.

Later that evening, Charlie went upstairs to his room and dived onto his bed face down. Listening to the blood rushing through his body, he moaned into his duvet cover as he began to reflect on his thoughts. He could not believe how fast his life was changing within the space of a week. It was just a few days ago when he thought he was being kidnapped forever, and now, suddenly, he was back in his own bedroom, moaning into the comfort of his own blankets. It was surreal.

Charlie knew he owed it all to one person and he had not even thanked her yet. He rolled over onto his back, looked up at the ceiling, and began twiddling his thumbs. “Prudence Svahnstrom, who are you?” he whispered. He found it incredibly strange that he did not even know the person who saved him from Dave. He was in two minds about his rescuer. On one hand, he thought of her as a heroic, selfless, and determined woman, yet on the other, he felt a great uncertainty regarding the motives of a person who was basically a complete stranger.

I told you once you reminded me of myself. This is true because from the moment I first saw you, I felt myself reliving experiences from my past. Such feelings I hope never to experience again. I could see so much anger, pain, confusion, loneliness that it – that it made me feel vaguely responsible for you. When I sought after your blackmailer, you can rest assure that it was purely out of empathy and not for vengeance.

He suddenly remembered the overpowering sense of connection, spirit, and resonance he felt when he looked into Prue’s sad blue eyes. She seemed to genuinely care about him, which made him feel strangely loved. How could he not be thankful for what she did for him?

Charlie did not waste another moment with himself. He grabbed his phone and wrote out a text. “Hey Prue. I think we should meet up. How does this Saturday sound to you?”

Prue responded within seconds. “Cool. Meet at my place?”

Charlie hesitated for a moment, thinking of what he was about to do before replying. He only wanted to thank Prue, not engage in social interaction, yet, he felt she deserved someone to connect with on an emotional level because she seemed to be a very lonely person. However, the greater part of him wished to abandon everything that was related to his troublesome cross-dressing. Once again, he felt torn between two factions of himself.

“Sure, see you then!” he responded.

The next morning, Charlie awoke to the familiar sound of his mom’s mini-van pulling out of the driveway. He briefly opened his eyes but the weight of tiredness forced him to close them again. He felt hot and stuffy beneath the blankets so he kicked them off the bed, letting the cool, fresh air take to his practically naked body. He slept only in his boxers, as he did every summer when the climate was warmer.

The first thought to enter his mind was Dave, as it had done every morning since the very first day of his blackmail. It was constant dread, waking up each morning, to feel heavenly only for a split second before falling back down to the horrible reality in which he lived. Even though his blackmail was over, it was as if his mind was locked in an automatic habit.

He lay there, staring at the ceiling as he usually did, wondering what would become of his blackmailer. Despite everything he had done to him, Charlie still worried for Dave’s mental state. Ever since he returned home, the memory of Dave lying on the brothel floor, feminised and broken down into a pathetic mess haunted his conscience like a thousand probing daggers.

Charlie worried that Dave would do something rash after experiencing such horrors in the brothel, something unthinkable like committing suicide. He recalled all the signs of mental illness he saw during his time spent under Dave’s thumb, the delusions, the uncontrollable outbursts, his ruthlessness, and disturbingly tender side. It was all very creepy but he wondered why he could not stop thinking about it?

He climbed out of bed and trudged to the bathroom. He yawned and attempted to flush the grogginess away with a splash of water to his face. Looking into the reflection, he noticed his eyebrows were still quite thin and feminine. He sighed, dreading the continuing effort of hiding them with his fringe until they grew back. He really wanted to get his haircut. It was ridiculously long for his taste. Like every summer that came before, his brown mop-like hair lightened with blonde streaks and curled at the ends.

Feeling impulsive, he opened the cupboard beneath the sink and took out his mother’s electric shaver. He attached the appropriate shear and turned it on. The slow buzzing sound made his heart beat a little bit faster than usual as he looked into his reflection, feeling tense and a little bit excited. “No more long hair,” he said, pressing the shaver onto his head. Clumps of his soft brown hair began to fall and trickle down his back and shoulders. He did not stop until there was nothing left but a barren skull of shaved hair.

He examined his new look from different angles, noticing a few indents he got from various falls he had as a child. Overall, he looked rather sickly with his incredibly thin arms and skinny abdomen. He immediately thought about the prospect of working out to gain some much need muscle over the summer months. He knew he definitely would not be cross-dressing again so a more masculine appearance would be a great way to start the next phase of his life. He knew he would be moving away soon so he had a chance to reinvent himself and forget the past.

He took a whizz, brushed his teeth, and hopped in the shower before walking back to his room feeling fresh as a daisy. He enjoyed the feeling of having no hair. He felt lighter and more comfortable. He did not care what people would think of his eyebrows. He assumed they would not read into it too much. His hair always became fairer during the summer anyway so why should his eyebrows be any different.

Charlie put on his favourite sweat pants and jersey before going downstairs to make breakfast. Feeling an increasing weight in his chest, he started to hum a silly tune as it helped soothe the unpleasant sensation. He turned on the gas hob, placed a pan on it, and threw some oil into it, feeling a lump forming in his throat. He went to the fridge, humming louder and louder, as he took the eggs out and returned to the stove.

Cracking a single egg off the rim of the pan, Charlie watched the yolk spill out of its shell and sizzle onto the pitch-black surface of the frying pan. Suddenly, he lost control, as the weight in his chest spread to the ends of his fingers and toes. He could not breathe. Feeling dazed, he stumbled backwards into the kitchen island, knocking over several pots and pans as he grabbed onto the counter. He wanted to call for help but all air was thumped out of his lungs as his eyes moved about frantically in their sockets. He felt an unprecedented amount of terror.

Desperately grasping for air, he started to feel horrible feelings of vulnerability, hopelessness, and fear as his heart palpitated against the inside of his chest. Then, slowly, but surely, his breathing returned as the sudden attack on his body died down. He lay on the floor, back against the kitchen counter as he regained himself. He felt like he just ran a marathon through everything bad that ever happened to him.

Charlie picked himself up from the floor, turning off the hob while still feeling a little dizzy and confused. He just experienced a horrible feeling like no other and now he felt normal again as if nothing had just happened. If anything, he felt numb and hollow. Nothing was going through his mind but one thing. He needed air. Bursting through the back door, the sunshine hit him like a warm, loving embrace. His lungs filled up with fresh air and the remainder of his random attack vanished into nothingness.

He sat down on one of the deck chairs and caught the rest of his breath. Gazing into space, he felt an uneasy numbness throughout his entire body and mind. He could not concentrate on one thought so he did not bother trying. Instead, he just sat there on the chair, stuck in a trance-like state of mind as he came to terms with what just happened.

Charlie did not know how long he was lying there but he guessed it was a few hours because the sun was now high in the sky. It must have been shortly after noon. Not a cloud in the sky. He heard the backdoor slide open, followed by approaching footsteps. He did not acknowledge who it was because it could only be Rachel. Nobody else was home.

Rachel walked into his line of sight, dressed in a pink bikini top, straw summer hat, and blue, self-cut short shorts. Standing over him with two bottles of beer in her hand, Rachel looked at her brother with astonishment. “What the hell did you do to your hair?” she cried out.

“I’ll let you guess that one,” said Charlie, taking beer without saying another word, as he sat himself up in the chair, and put his hand out for the bottle opener. Rachel sat down on the chair next to him and threw him the bottle opener before curling up into a relaxing posture.

“You look like a dying child,” said Rachel, moving her loose strands of hair behind her ear.

“You look like a filthy slut,” said Charlie, not taking his eye off the fence.

“Touché,” said Rachel, uncapping her beer.

The two sat and drank in silence until their bottles were bone dry. Charlie was about to head inside to get another before Rachel told him to sit down. “I’ll get them,” she said, getting up and returning a few moments later with a cooler full of beer. Time passed by and two bottles each eventually turned into six each as loose caps scattered one-by-one around the twins’ deck chairs.

“I think Kayla is gonna absolutely hate your new choice of hairstyle,” said Rachel, speaking for the first time on her seventh bottle. “Could you even call that a hairstyle? There’s nothing left!”

“Do you think I care what Kayla thinks?” Charlie scoffed. “I can do what I want.”

“Ooh look – I’m Charlie and I do what I want! Haw haw haw!” said Rachel in a mocking voice. She was a little drunk. “Ah no – but in all seriousness, she probably won’t mention it at all because she’s in luuuuuuurve with you and when people fall in luuuuuuuurve they overlook the stupid things because they’re so in luuuuuuurrrrve!”

“You think? She’s been after me since we were kids!” said Charlie, turning to look at his sister.

“Oh get over yourself, Charlie!” Rachel jeered, ear-to-ear, as she sat up and crossed her legs in a meditative position. “You must like her at least a little bit to get with her on the night of our seventeenth!”

Charlie hated being probed on such matters. His head swimming with alcohol, he lifted his fingers to make a point but words were caught in his throat. “Maybe I like her just – just a teeny bit!” he said, slightly slurring his words.

“There you go!” said Rachel, clapping her hands. “Was that so hard to admit?”

Charlie wanted to get off subject so he responded with a soft grunt as he took another swig of his beer. There was nothing said for a few moments as the distant sound of a lawn mower carried across the warm summer breeze. It was late afternoon.

“You do realise she cares about you,” said Rachel in all honesty. “When you were gone, she worried just as much as Mom and I did. She never left our side until she knew you were safe.”

“I know she cares,” said Charlie, feeling accused of being egotistical. “But if it wasn’t for her, you and Mom never would have found out where I was while you were away at the spa.”

“And is that really a bad thing?” Rachel interjected. “Would you have preferred to keep going the way you were?”

Charlie knew he was caught out so he was lost for words. He sighed and laid back into his chair, stretching his limbs out as far as he could. “You’re right,” he said, gazing up at the sky. “I guess my shortcomings have set us on the right path for once.”

Rachel did not mean to hurt Charlie’s feelings. As a result, she could not think of anything else to say on the matter so she veered the conversation in a different direction. “Speaking of which, Kayla was telling me one of her neighbours has moved out,” said Rachel. “A particular friend of yours apparently.”

Charlie knew whom she spoke of and he tried his best not to respond too obviously as he felt Rachel was looking for some sort of reaction. “So Dave finally moved out?” he said, feigning a sense of carelessness.

“Oh so you knew he was moving away?” said Rachel, beginning to sound intrigued.

“He may have mentioned it once or twice, yes,” said Charlie, beginning to feel grilled by Rachel’s consistent prodding. “Look, Rachel, I don’t want to talk about him right now. I know it was stupid to do drugs with that psycho but can we please leave it behind us and move on?”

“Fine, fine!” said Rachel, immediately backing down. However, she continued to stare at her brother as if he was a surreal painting. Puzzled and slightly fascinated, she looked like she was trying to work him out right there in the garden. “You’re such a mystery, Charlie,” she said, lowering her shades before moving herself into a bathing position.

“Hmm,” mumbled Charlie, feeling somewhat relieved that the subject of Dave was being dropped. He reached down into the cooler to discover there was only one beer left. “Can I have this last one?”

Rachel waved her arm to signal she did not care. “You should ask Kayla out though,” she said as a cunning smile spread across her face. “She’s much better than that ginger bitch, Julie!”

“Oh, I thought we were done talking about that?” said Charlie, derisively throwing his hands up in the air.

“Nuh-uh! Not until you tell me what you’re gonna do!” Rachel heckled.

“I just don’t see the point in asking Kayla out if we’re gonna be moving away soon?” said Charlie honestly.

“Relax! We’re not moving that far away!” said Rachel, turning her head to Charlie.

“Yeah but still – I don’t have much time for girls right now,” said Charlie, feeling agitated and discomfited.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Heartbreaker,” said Rachel, exhaling deeply as she slightly readjusted herself into a more comfortable position. “But if you want this to stop, then you’re gonna have to tell Kayla instead of leading her on like this. It wouldn’t be fair to toy with her feelings.”

Charlie was beginning to feel provoked and discomforted. Annoyingly, he knew Rachel was right as always, but he tried his best to conceal his frustration, because he did not wish to grant her the satisfaction of openly agreeing with her. He exhaled deeply, feeling a cool sensation fall over his body as he took in the nice day. He still felt a little shook after his random attack earlier.

“Aren’t you going out tonight?” Charlie asked, wishing to engage only in small talk.

“I am, yes,” said Rachel, giving a stiff nod. “I’m going to Blake’s house. His parents are out of town for a few days so he’s having a massive house party.”

“Oh this is the drinks connoisseur from our birthday?” said Charlie in his most sardonic tone.

“Yep, that’s him,” Rachel chuckled. “It’s gonna be an AMAZING night. You should totally come along.”

“Nah, I don’t go in for house parties very much,” said Charlie, shaking his head. “You know me.”

Rachel was about to respond, but instead, she closed her mouth, and said nothing more. She stared up at the wisps of cloud blissfully floating about in the bright blue sky. Her eyes shrouded in the blackness of her sunglasses, she picked up her beer and downed the last of it.

Suddenly feeling an uncomfortable stillness, Charlie sat up and looked at Rachel with concern as he immediately sensed she was feeling troubled. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You see, that’s the problem right there,” said Rachel in a grave tone of voice. “I don’t think I know you at all.”

“Well that’s hardly melodramatic!” said Charlie sarcastically. “Don’t be ridiculous, of course you know me. I’m your brother for god’s sake!”

“Then why do I get the feeling that you’re hiding something massive from me,” said Rachel, constraining herself from getting emotional. “Call it twin intuition or whatever but I feel like there’s so much more to you than you let on.”

Charlie could feel panic rising up from within his stomach as it lurched over with a wave of nerves. He worried about the direction the conversation was headed. Seemingly lost for words, his mouth dried up, and his leg started to jitter. “To be honest, Rachel, I’m not even sure what’s going on inside me either,” he said, solemnly speaking of the truth in his heart.

Rachel sat up and removed her shades, looking hopeful of Charlie finally opening up to her. “What do you mean?”

“Something’s different about me but -,” said Charlie, stalling to articulate himself clearly, “– but I can’t quite grasp what it is yet. I feel like I’m not the person I should be, which I know sounds crazy, but – look, do you get what saying here?”

“No, I totally do,” said Rachel.

Charlie knew Rachel was feigning consideration in an attempt to make him feel less lonely but he did not hold it against her. He knew she was pretending to understand because she cared about him. “The thing is, I just need to figure things out for myself first before I can get close to talking, okay? It’s nothing to do with you or Mom or anyone else. It’s just something I need to explore on my own.”

“Okay, I get you. You need to find out what’s bothering you before talking. It’s cool,” said Rachel, nodding back and forth. “But can you promise me one thing, Charlie?”

“Sure.”

“If you ever need to talk about anything, no matter how big, small, awkward, or embarrassing, just remember that I will always be here for you no matter what,” said Rachel, leaning over her chair to get closer to him. “Not only am I your sister, but I’m also your twin as you are to me, we should connect like that, so promise that you’ll talk to me when the time comes.”

“Rachel, you’re getting all sentimental because of the alcohol again!” Charlie joked.

“I’m being serious, Charlie!” said Rachel with utter sincerity. “Promise me now!”

Charlie looked into Rachel’s eyes for the first time in what felt like an age. “Okay, uh, I promise,” he said softly.

“Good!” said Rachel, straining as she lifted herself up out of the deck chair. “Now, I’m going to make some dinner. Do you want some?”

“Sure, that sounds good, but be careful with the stove. You’ve been drinking, remember?” said Charlie.

“Like I’d forget,” said Rachel as she walked back into the house.

Charlie was alone with his thoughts once again and the only thing running through his mind was something Prue had said just a few days ago, something that was very similar to the conversation he just had with Rachel.

I need to know if you can disallow these horrible experiences and secrets to burden you for the rest of your life. You can’t hide these things forever. I understand you can’t reveal yourself yet but you need to tell someone close to you when you feel it’s right. I’m not asking you to make a promise for me but please, please promise yourself. Find trust to tell somebody what you feel is necessary and righteous, because in the end, family is all you have.

For the first time, he felt completely confident in telling Rachel the absolute truth about everything. However, he chose to remain tight-lipped, as he had no desire to twist the knife further into his recovering wounds. He felt as if he wanted to move forwards instead of backwards because there were definitely repressed memories from when he was drugged and kidnapped. He wished to forget and move on from what happened so he felt there was no need to reopen the horror story that had only just concluded.

As Charlie sat back, relaxed, and reflected upon the past few months, he could not help but marvel at how crazy his life became. Prior to trying on the infamous school uniform, he had lived a relatively normal existence. He went to school, hung out with his friends, did his homework, and had a moderately healthy family life. He never expected to be dressing up like his sister to please her ex-boyfriends crazed delusions.

Mary arrived home with the usual bang of the front door shortly after Rachel had started to make the dinner. Charlie remained in the back garden, staring intently at the slightly darkening sky as his head swam under the influence of beer. He was unsure of how long he was sitting there but time seemed to coast by him like a car zooming by fields. His mother and sister soon joined him, sitting on deck chairs either side of him with dinner plates of chicken curry and rice resting on their laps.

“Here you, child,” said Rachel, handing Charlie a plate of his own. “Careful, it’s hot.”

Charlie smiled as he took the plate into his hands. “Thanks, Rach.”

Still in her work uniform, Mary eased herself into her chair so she would not rip her tight skirt. She then kicked off her heels and let out a deep sigh of relief. “Ahhhhh, that’s much better!” she exhaled, blissfully closing her eyes as she basked in the warm evening light.

Digging into his dinner, Charlie looked at his mother and sister through the corner of his eyes, and tried his best to remain calm because he felt something he had not experienced in a long time.

That feeling was contentment.

Prue awoke to the sound of heavy snoring and the weight of a large fat arm thrown over her. Wiping the sleep away from her eyes, she exhaled deeply, and looked over her shoulder at the large flabby man whom had paid to sleep with her for the entire night. She wretched with disgust as she accidently caught whiff of the man’s breath, which made her feel as if she was going to vomit any second.

She carefully removed herself from the man’s embrace and climbed out of the bed. Completely naked from head to toe, Prue tussled her blue hair as she stood up and gathered her clothes, which were scattered amongst the empty liquor bottles around the bedside. She walked to the ensuite bathroom, closed to the door behind her, and began rummaging through her large purple handbag. Out she pulled her morning after kit, which contained a hairbrush, toothbrush, and baby wipes.

Looking to the mirror, she hesitated for a brief moment, as she always did each time her reflection fell upon her sight. Although, she was an attractive woman all round, particularly for someone who was born in a male body and had SRS, there was still one thing she absolutely hated about herself, and it concerned a particular organ that remained between her two legs. She sighed, feeling self-conscious yet hopeful.

“Soon, Prue,” she said to reflection. “It’ll be alright.”

She brushed her hair and cleansed her mouth of the night’s events with her toothbrush and paste. She tucked her loathsome member back into her body as she pulled up her black panties. Encasing her breasts in a matching bra, she clasped the hooks together over the tattoo that sprawled across her back. It was a design of floral shapes, Japanese calligraphy, and cobwebs that stretched from her right shoulder blade down to her lower left waist.

She then picked up her white halter-necked top and put her head through the hoop. It was quite a flimsy garment as it revealed quite a lot of her back, arms, and some cleavage, but in the end, it was the appropriate attire for her night work. She put her legs inside her plain black leather mini skirt, and shuffled her way into it, as it was very tight before zipping it up from the rear.

After cleaning her face of all the smudged makeup, she took out a pair of black flats, and threw her brush, wipes, and heels back into her handbag. She quickly counted the money she was given by her customer for the night. She could only wish that it were all for her, but unfortunately, others had to be paid first before she could even hope to hold any kind of cash to her name.

Prue left the bathroom and put on her tanned trench coat to cover up her rather risqué outfit. She double-checked to make sure she had everything important in her bag, which included her keys, phone, purse, and cigarettes. She was about to leave for the door when the man in the bed let out a surly groan. Like a stunned deer caught in headlights, she froze as she watched the man roll over before snoring again.

Relieved, Prue tiptoed towards the exit. Carefully turning the key in the lock, she slowly opened the door, which flooded the room with the ambient sounds of the harsh neighbourhood outside. She quickly slid out the door and briskly walked down the line of motel room doors. She hurried down the stairs, across the car park, and hailed down the first taxi she saw on the main road.

“Upper Berkley Street, please,” she said to the cab driver who responded only with tiresome grunt.

Prue put on her stylish sunglasses as the bright morning light beamed through the gaps of the decaying urban landscape. Despite her woeful existence, she could not help but feel a slight touch of optimism as she took out of phone and reread the text Charlie had sent her a few days ago. “Hey Prue. I think we should meet up. How does this Saturday sound to you?” Today was Saturday, and Prue was looking forward to spending some time with a person who was not a client. She even took the day off from her part-time job at Sweet Sensations Costume House.

It did not long for the cab to reach Upper Berkley Street. Prue paid the fare, climbed out the cab, and awkwardly shuffled across the street as she wedged her heels back into her flats. She moseyed on down the street towards her apartment, abruptly stopping in her tracks for an instant, as a sudden thought popped into her mind like the switch of a light bulb.

Prue turned around, vigorously strolling up the street to the corner store. She entered the shop that was a cross between a minimart and a newsagent mixed with an Indian flare. Walking to the frozen and refrigerated section, she started to hum the song that was playing in the taxi. She picked up a small chocolate cake, examined it as if it were an alien object before sighing, and making her way to the counter.

Prue arrived back at her tiny apartment, flushed and exhausted, as she always was when she got home after a nights work. Placing the cake inside her old, fifties-style refrigerator, she continued to hum as she took off her coat and walked to the bathroom. She emerged from the shower about ten minutes later with a towel wrapped around her body. Sitting on the bed, she blow-dried her hair, as she quickly looked at the digital clock on the locker. It was 13:43 pm. She knew Charlie would be arriving soon.

She put on a dark pair of knickers and a white satin bra, ribbon in the centre, with lace trimmings around the edges. She then slipped into a pair of soft, black leggings that hugged her legs snugly before putting on a shoulder-less black and white striped sweater.

Prue then proceeded to clean up her sprawl of an apartment. Firstly, she rearranged the stacks of cardboard boxes more tidily, de-cluttered the living space, bedroom, and kitchen, followed by cleaning all the dishes, sweeping the floors, throwing dirty clothes into the laundry, and cleaning all surfaces with a cloth and spray bottle. When she was done, she collapsed onto her bed and stretched herself out like a cat.

Feeling the weight of her eyelids close on her, she started to breathe heavily through her nose as she gradually drifted into a cosy slumber. It was then that the apartment started to tremor and shake as a train thundered past the window, carriages clashing, and banging on the elevated track until it vanished into the distance, screeching around the far-off bend until everything fell quiet again.

Prue awoke from her brief snooze, looking rather irritated by the loud noise that woke her up. She never got used to living beside a busy train route and she doubted she ever would. Rolling out of bed, she teetered to the kettle, and made herself a black coffee. She sat at the small kitchen table, nursing her coffee whilst staring at the door, expecting to hear a knock at any moment.

When she finished her coffee, Prue checked the time on her cell phone once again. It was 16:23 pm. She made herself another cup in a desperate attempt to stay alert but no amount of caffeine could clear the fogginess. She sat at the kitchen table for what seemed like an age, eventually, crossing her arms on the tabletop to rest her chin on them as she observed the tiny cracks in the coffee mug. It was now 18:03 pm.

Ultimately, she dozed off but was awoken by her cell vibrating its way across the table. She lifted her head up, drool protruding from the corner of her mouth as she grabbed her phone, and answered.

“H-Hello?” she said, wiping her mouth clean as she stood up.

“Hey, Prue. It’s me, Charlie.”

“Oh hey -,” said Prue, pretending to sound nonchalant. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” said Charlie, pausing for a moment. In the background, a hectic noise rattled that sounded like the subway. “Hey look, I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it over today.”

“Oh,” said Prue, trying her best to conceal her disappointment. “Um, that’s okay ‘cause I’ve got a couple of things I should get done anyway.”

There was a flash of silence.

“Yeah, well, um, I just wanted to say a few things so I may as well do it now over the phone,” said Charlie.

“Okay,” said Prue, walking over to her bedside to sit down. “I’m listening.”

“Well, first of all, I just wanted to thank you for everything you did. If it wasn’t for you, well, I wouldn’t be home with Mom and Rachel,” said Charlie candidly. “I would’ve been a goner by now if you didn’t saved me.”

Prue smiled, feeling genuine warmth in her heart. “You don’t have to thank me, Charlie,” she said, unable to control her beaming smile. “You and I both know that I wanted to help you from the very start.”

“And I’m truly grateful,” Charlie added, leaving everything to a comfortable pause for a few moments. It was as if they were together in the same room. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said the last day. You know that stuff about opening up to someone close?”

“Hmm, it sounds like you’ve come to some sort of a conclusion there,” said Prue, strolling from one end of the apartment to the other.

Charlie laughed. “I can’t say I’ve fully come to terms with everything that happened to me but uh – but I feel like I’m on the right path for once,” he said, his tone dropping. “Even though I want to leave all of this behind me, talking about my issues doesn’t seem so daunting anymore. I guess that doesn’t make any sense, does it?"

“No, uh, that makes perfect sense,” said Prue, trying her best to reassure Charlie even though she had no idea what he meant. She walked to the kitchen area and fiddled with the saltshaker on the table, wishing to break the awkward silence by continuing the conversation. “So, um, what’s your plan for the future then?”

Charlie sighed. “Uh, I’m not sure exactly,” he said earnestly. “I’m just enjoying the view of having future, you know, because for a long time there, it felt like there was none.”

“That’s good to hear,” said Prue, playfully strolling back to her bed.

Again, there was the awkward telephone stillness in between sentences.

“But hey – I – I wish I could’ve thanked to you in person like I planned but, uh, it’s just I’m kind of busy at the moment,” said Charlie, sounding as if he was trying his best to kill the awkwardness.

“No, it’s fine!” said Prue reassuringly as she sat down on the bed. “We’re all busy people. Things have to be done.”

“Okay, well, thanks again for everything, Prue,” said Charlie. “I’ll never forget what you did.”

“It’s no problem, Charlie. Really, it isn’t,” said Prue, using her free hand to play with a dangling lock of hair. She could sense the phone call was ending at any moment. She desperately wanted to get her word in before Charlie hung up.

“Goodbye, Prue,” said Charlie. “Hopefully I’ll see you again in the future.”

“Well, maybe we could meet up sometime. You know – for drinks or something like – hello – hello, are you still -,”

Looking at the phone, Prue’s heart sank to see her call had ended, and Charlie’s name no longer filled the screen. Unfortunately, he had hung up before she could make her suggestion. She put the phone down, feeling crushed and disappointed. She could not help but sense an air of finality in Charlie’s words, as if he was planning to never see her again in spite of everything.

So Prue sat quietly on her bedside, staring into space, as she felt the cold stab of loneliness twist her wounds open. Suddenly, her apartment did not feel so small to her.

Meanwhile, at that very moment, Charlie was travelling across the city by train. He was dressed rather boyishly in a black letterman jacket with dark grey sleeves. Beneath that, he wore a charcoal woven shirt with vertical black stripes, top two buttons open. On his legs were slim black chinos and a pair of ratty old converse all stars. He also wore a baseball cap on his shaved head. This was not the same Charlie.

He gazed out the window, enjoying the wonderful view of the sun setting below the cityscape. He was travelling way out of town to the greater urban area, far, far away from his own house. He felt sure of himself for once, hopeful, and less apprehensive about what could happen in the next ten minutes. He felt better for ringing Prue, even if he did not realise he unwittingly hurt her feelings but he knew he could not leave her hanging after everything she did for him.

The train soon came to a halt outside a small station. It took Charlie a few moments to realise that it was his stop for he was completely lost within a world of his own. Leaping to his feet, he exited the train doors right before they closed shut. He looked up and down the platform to see that he was the only passenger getting off at the practically deserted station.

He walked down the stairs, feeling the rush of the train take off down the track as he took out his phone. It was not too late. There were still a few hours of light left. Strolling through the quite neighbourhood, he crossed the road, and went towards a gate that led into a tree-sheltered park. The birds still tweeted and whistled in the green as he moseyed on down the dirt path, occasionally looking up at the light streaming through the gaps of the branches and breathing in the smell of freshly cut grass.

Charlie continued walking for a short while until he came to a flight of concrete steps, and it was then that he saw Kayla, her thick brown hair covering her face as she leaned against the handrail, aimlessly playing with her smart phone. She was waiting for him and it made him feel warm inside. He could not remember the last time a girl patiently waited for him.

Standing at the bottom step, Charlie took a moment to look upon her. She was dressed fashionably as always, sporting a white boat-necked t-shirt with horizontal black stripes, tucked neatly into a black pleated skater skirt, which presented her tight covered legs in awe. A large leather handbag hung from her shoulder, clenched firmly inside her arm, as she twisted each of her feet, which were clad with mocha wedge booties.

Charlie never imagined that he would look upon Kayla with such aspiration and wonderment. A strange and unexpected feeling welled up inside his chest. He suddenly felt stronger and weaker at the same time, almost excited yet equally terrified as he gazed upon her with a different kind of optimism. Somehow, being there in that very moment, he knew everything was going to be just fine. He felt it. He knew it.