The snowball hit me almost full on my face. It was cold and it hurt but I wasn’t about to cry in front of this lot.

The local kids were not all that nice to those of us who lived in the home and I, in particular, seemed to be singled out for special treatment at school and even out of school like now.

What I did do was turn my back and start walking down the steep hill leading to the town, ignoring the taunts of gay boy, fag and other nice remarks about my gender and parentage.

I was due back at the home anyway. Being off school because of the poor weather meant that the kids in the town were out and about and in many cases looking for trouble.

It was cold, too cold for me. I wasn’t wearing what you would call warm weather clothing. You would have thought that the home would run to some decent winter clothing, but what with cutbacks, bla-di-bla-di-bla–

As I shuffled through the snow, I wondered, not for the first time, why I was ever born and whether it was worth going on for much longer.

My Dad died when I was one year old and my mum couldn’t cope so I was put in a home when I was five. She then promptly fell under a bus after having three too many drinks evidently, and there was, little orphan Joey.

So I was sent to a number of foster homes and then a couple of children’s homes until I landed in the one I was at present. I’m 13 now and look about eleven as I am small and thin– weedy some kids call me–and I suppose that I stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the other ‘more normal’ kids.

Normal kids do not think that they are a girl, well girls do, but...well you know what I mean. I was born as a bouncing baby boy but would have much preferred to be a bouncing baby girl. Ever since I knew the differences between boys and girls–and living in mixed children’s homes you get to know the difference– I realised that I wasn’t normal, for a boy, that is. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to dress as a girl, play with the girls and do everything that they did. No I was stuck in boy mode and told that I shouldn’t be stupid. I would grow out of it and no Joey, you can’t put that dress on.

So much for an enlightened authority that prided itself on being politically correct and proud about doing the ‘right thing’. Well they must have torn the page out regarding people like me when they thought about transgendered kids. That’s what I was, transgendered, well that was I was according to the internet anyway, and as everyone knows, you can learn a lot from the internet, not all of it very wholesome.

Devon is a nice place to visit and when it isn’t cold, wet or snowy, it’s really rather nice. But this was a long way from summer and my feet were getting colder in my shoes as my socks gradually got wetter and wetter. In addition to this, my ears were getting frozen and I was glad that I would be home soon.

Well I suppose it was home, but it didn’t feel much like it at the moment. The home had ten bedrooms a sort of lounge and play room, a large kitchen and three bathrooms. Outside was a sort of wooden shed structure where we kids could go and play table tennis and other stuff that required more room.

The garden was about two acres, so there was plenty of places for boisterous children to run about or in my case go away and hide, when the weather wasn’t like this, anyway.

Up until about three months previously, it hadn’t been too bad. Mr and Mrs Jones had been the home parents and they were nice people but getting on a bit. They were a bit stick in the mud and strong on discipline but they were fair and I didn’t have many complaints other than the fact that they, like everyone else, thought that I shouldn’t keep trying to be and act like a girl. Also it didn’t help that I had a plumbing problem and wet the bed, but I wasn’t the only one to do that.

There was a boy’s dormitory and one for the girls on the next flight up. There were absolutely no chances for me to dress as a girl in private. I had a very small stash of girls’ clothes hidden in the cellar behind some packing cases and other junk. When I could, I went down there and tried a few things on. Luckily, for some reason the cellar had a bolt on the inside and I always slipped it across before I did a quick change and put on a skirt and blouse or my one single dress. These clothes I had taken from the rubbish bins. Of course that meant that they were hardly new, but I was thankful for what I could get.

I could see the house ahead now. It had started to rain instead of snow and that, if anything made me feel colder in my thin coat and I pulled the collar up and trudged on towards the lights.

Things changed when the Jones’s retired and a new couple came in. Mike and Laura Parminter were younger, more energetic and seemed to be nice people. The other kids liked them and so did I at first. They knew about me and seemed interested in getting me to see a doctor about my ‘condition’ as they strangely called it, but nothing much had been done, despite my continually asking them about it, except a brief trip to a doctor two years before.

You may be wondering what the other children thought about this strange boy who wanted to be a girl. Well I never told anyone about it, but they just got to know. I often had snide remarks from the girls and the boys were a bit nasty about it, especially the older ones. A couple of times I had been beaten up in the past and that meant that I withdrew into my own little world and no one was really interested in me anymore. I had no friends, I did have one, Simon, but he was put up for adoption and managed to get out.

That was a rarity, adoption, I mean. Plenty of couples wanted to have children but many were put off by the red tape and the hoops they had to go through to get them. Also babies and young children were more favoured, rather than kids older than say ten or eleven with gender and plumbing problems.

I opened the squeaky gate and walked up the path. I would probably get told off for going out without permission, but the house mum and dad weren’t around earlier and anyway, I didn’t live in a prison, did I?

Thinking about my house parents and in particular Mike, there was something about him that I didn’t like. He sometimes gave me a strange look and was about to say something and then seemed to change his mind. Maybe I was being paranoid so I tried to ignore it but occasionally my flesh crept when I was around him.

I rang the bell on the front door and a few seconds later it was opened.

‘Where the hell have you been?’ asked an annoyed looking Mike.

‘I went for a walk.’

‘Without telling anyone?’

‘Sorry, you weren’t about; I wasn’t going to be long.’

‘You know the rules; always let us know where you are. I nearly called the police out.’

‘Sorry,’ I mumbled as I walked across the threshold and into the hall.

‘Well, all right just don’t do it again.’

I took off my coat and hung it on my peg. I noticed that there were no other coats there and the place was strangely quiet.

‘Where is everyone?’ I asked.

‘What?’ said Mike as he walked across the hallway on the way to the office.

Where is everyone?’

‘They have gone to the cinema. If you had been here, you could have gone.’

‘No one said anything.’

‘You should look on the board, it’s all there.’

‘Oh,’ I said, a bit deflated. I remembered now, we always went to the cinema on the night before Christmas Eve, one of the few treats that the strapped for cash council allowed us.

I turned away.

‘Oh, Joey.’

I hated my name, Joe, Joey, Joseph, I much preferred my girls name, Hannah.

‘Yes?’

‘About you little problem.’

‘Problem?’

He looked annoyed for a second and then ploughed on.

‘This notion that you think that you are a girl...’

‘I am a girl!’

‘So you say. Anyway, evidently, there is a lot of red tape involved before you even get to see a psychiatrist–you did see one two years ago and he wasn’t convinced about you. In any case, you are not considered as an urgent case now. Anyway, as its Christmas, not much will happen until the New Year. The general consensus is still that you will grow out of it.’

‘How do they know that, they haven’t even seen me?’

‘They did before and anyway experience shows that many children go through phases like this and grow out of it...’

‘So you are an expert are you and I bet that’s what you said to them when you told them about me.’

‘Don’t talk to me like that Joey. I won’t let any fag...I mean child speak to me like that. Remember your position here.’

‘ So I’m a fag am I?’ I said, feeling myself grow hot.

‘I...I didn’t mean that, it slipped out. You are a confused boy who needs putting right; it’s for your own good.’

I looked at him and realised that my first impressions of him were correct, he was not what I would call a nice man.

I said no more as I knew that arguments with adults wouldn’t be of any help to me now, especially this one.

I went upstairs to the dormitory and then over to my bed. Sitting down, I thought about what Mike had said. According to the net, people like me were being dealt with more fairly and my problems weren’t unique, but it seemed to me that the way I was being treated bucked that trend. I may have only been 13, but I was intelligent and knew what I was.

Two years before I had seen a doctor and I was so tongue tied and frightened of my own shadow, I hadn’t been able to explain myself fully. He was a big man with a rather loud voice and he scared me. Maybe I should have seen a woman doctor and she might have been more sympathetic and may have been able to bring me out a bit more.

I sighed, this was all in the past and I had to look to the future, if I ever had one. A few tears coursed down my cheeks and I did nothing to wipe them away.

I looked up as the door opened and Mike came in. He walked over to me, he was carrying a bag.

‘You’ve been crying.’

‘Yes,’ I sniffed.

‘I’m sorry if I told you off. It was just that I was concerned about you. It’s my job to keep you safe.’

He seemed to conveniently forget that he called me a fag, but I wasn’t about to start another argument.

He sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

‘Look, we haven’t got off on the right foot, have we? I understand that you have problems and I will try to help you.’

‘Will you?’ I said hopefully, although I was feeling uncomfortable with him holding me like that and in such close proximity.

‘Yes, I could give another report to the authorities to say that you indeed are more like a girl than a boy, but I think that I would need to see you dressed like a girl and that would help me in my report.’

‘I haven’t got any girls clothes,’ I said–not wanting to tell him about my little stash of very used clothes in the cellar.

‘Yes well, I thought about that.’ He bent down and picked up the bag and handed it to me.

‘Put these on and then I can see what you look like.’

I must have been desperate and clutching at yet more straws as I took the clothes and then went into the bathroom to change.

It was the work of moments to take off my boys’ things and get into the clothes provided. He had even put in a pair of pink panties and a bra. There was a short skirt and a pink satin top–not exactly the height of fashion for a thirteen year old but still, this is what I had so I made the most of it. I didn’t bother with the bra; I had nothing to put in it. After slipping on the panties–they felt nice and free after my padded pull ups–I quickly pulled up the skirt and put on the top. At the bottom of the bag were some new black tights and shoes with two inch heels. One again, these didn’t seem quite right for me, but this was what he wanted and I was in the zone, so to speak and I wanted to make the right impression.

I pulled up the tights, they were a bit big but I managed somehow to remove the wrinkles, they were very sheer but felt nice and then slipped on the shoes.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw that I was very pretty in my opinion but not very nice. What I mean by that is that I looked a bit cheap; the sort of thing a girl would wear when on the make. I had seen the TV and surfed the internet and I wasn’t as green as I looked. Remember I was thirteen, but I was small and looked more like eleven and what I was wearing was not very age appropriate.

The clothes just didn’t suit me and I wasn’t very happy with the idea of going outside and letting him see me like that.

‘Are you ready yet?’ I heard Mike call from outside.

‘Erm the clothes don’t really go well on me,’ I answered.

‘Never mind that, it’s just to give me an idea as to what you look like as a girl. Don’t be shy–oh and take your hair out of the pony tail, you have long hair, you ought to show it off.’

I didn’t like the sound of his voice, it sounded– I wasn’t sure–hungry?

I sighed and did as I was told and took the band off my hair and shook it loose. I forget the endless argument that I had had over my hair. I liked it long for obvious reasons and the authorities wanted me to cut it. I had managed to get out of it up to now, but it had been a long hard slog to get it to the length it was–down to and just touching my shoulders.

I had a brush and comb by my sink and I picked up the brush and played with my hair for bit, making it look a bit more girlie. It was nice how my hair now shaped my face making me look more like the real me.

After I had finished, I stepped back and had a good look at myself. I tried to pull down the skirt, it was very short. The blouse was short too and barely covered my belly button and no matter what I did, there was a small area of skin exposed where it didn’t meet the top of my skirt.

I had no idea where he had purchased the clothes, but it was obvious to me that he hadn’t a clue as to what a young girl like me would wear.

‘Are you ready yet?’

He sounded impatient.

‘Coming,’ I called. I wondered when the others would be back. I also wondered where the helpers were. There were three assistants that worked during the day at the home. Maybe they were supervising the other kids at the cinema?

One last look in the mirror and I turned away. Taking a deep breath I walked out of the bathroom and back into the dormitory.

He was standing by the window looking out onto the drive but turned as he heard my heels on the linoleum.

His eyes went wide as he saw me. I could hear the sound of my heart thumping and a trickle of nervous sweat ran down the small of my back, making me shiver slightly.

‘Don’t be frightened,’ he said in an oily voice, looking me up and down and making me feel a bit uncomfortable. It was those eyes again, they seemed almost hungry. I felt like a juicy bit of meat in a butcher’s window. Did I say that I had a vivid imagination?

‘You look very pretty,’ he said.

‘Th...thank you,’ I replied in a small voice, looking down.

‘Come here,’ he beckoned.

Hesitatingly, I walked over and he stroked my hair and then seemed to come nearer...

There was the toot or a car horn outside and we both sort of jumped and I stepped away.

He walked over to the window and glanced down. I could see that there was anger in his face and I didn’t like the look of his expression.

He turned to me.

‘You had better get changed, the others are back.’

‘Will you tell the authorities about me?’

‘Erm yes, it’s clear that you are a erm, girl. We’ll speak again tomorrow. Maybe we can find somewhere private and you can show me a bit more about how much of a girl you are. Keep the clothes and hide them away. It will be our little secret, for now.’

He smiled at me, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, all I could see was a strange hungry look and it made me feel very scared about what he might do to me, but I tried to show no sign of my fear and just smiled at him and said thank you before grabbing the bag and going back into the bathroom for a quick change.

That night I couldn’t sleep and I could hear the sounds of heavy breathing all around me. Looking at the illuminated dial of my watch, I could see that it was half past one in the morning. I had lain there for nearly three hours, wondering what I could do.

Mike had done nothing to me physically, but there was a promise of it in future if I read the signs right. Here I was a girl being treated as a boy and no one was ready willing or able to help me. I had little hope that Mike would help me. I think that he had other things on his mind that would not be too healthy for me.

I wondered what my options were. At about midnight, I closed my eyes as the door opened and a dim light streamed in. there was a whispering as Mike and Laura walked down the room, checking on everyone. I had my eyes shut and pretended that I was asleep.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand on my hair, stroking it. I turned over; pretending that I had been disturbed and the hand went away. I knew who’s hand it had been and my flesh crept.

There was the sound of retreating footsteps and then the door closed quietly, leaving me wide awake and dreading what might happen very soon if I didn’t do something about it.

I had to do something but what?

No one would believe me if I said that Mike was a pervert and wanted to abuse me. Nothing had been done...yet. Would I have to wait until I was raped before something was done?

I not going to have that, I thought, better that I get away from here and try my luck on my own.

There were cases almost every day of people going missing, running away, I would be one of them. Only I wouldn’t go as Joey, I would go as Hannah, less chance of being recognised and anyway I was tired of pretending to be a boy.

Where would I go though? It was cold outside and although the snow had stopped and it had warmed up a bit and the rain had washed much of the snow away, it was still a cold raw night out there.

I thought about what I should do and came up with a plan. I waited for a few minutes and made sure that everyone was asleep and then I got up quietly, took my torch out of my cabinet and other personal things that I had in a bag. Beneath the mattress was an envelope with some money in it. It was only forty pounds, accumulated pocket money that I had stashed away for a rainy day, but it would have to do.

I didn’t think that the others would take much notice of me even if they did wake up. They were used to me getting up in the night go to the toilet. I had a weak bladder and when I had to go, I did. I actually wore some special pull up pants that helped in case I didn’t get to the toilet in time and of course my bed had a rubber sheet–more humiliation that I had had to live with for most of my life.

Anyway, no one stirred as I crept out and closed the door quietly behind me. I shivered a bit in my pyjamas and hurried downstairs to the laundry room by the light of my torch and the night lights that were dotted along the corridors.

On the way, I passed the storeroom where cases and bags were kept for our infrequent trips away from ‘home’. I picked out a rucksack that wasn’t too big and then went on to the laundry room.

In there, over to one side were racks of clothes, a girls rack and a boys one. Down here, there was no danger of being seen, as everyone was in bed on the upper floors, so I turned on the light, blinking at the sudden brightness and immediately went over to the girls section.

I picked out some jeans–this was not a time for skirts and dresses–and a few tops. Mind you there were few uber lovely skirts and tops that happened to find their way into my rucksack, together with panties from a drawer, socks and a few other essential items like a couple of nighties and some girlie jim-jams. Anyway I picked out some things to wear and slipped on some jeans and a warm pink top. Did I say I loved pink?

There were a few jumpers and I picked out one to wear. It was cashmere, probably someone’s cast off, but I was a girl on a mission and I needed to be warm. It was sky blue in colour and clashed a bit with my top, but I wasn’t about to make a fashion statement here; I just wanted to be warm and as un-boy like as possible.

There were few coats and I tried on a few and found one that was warm and not too un-cool. The boots that I found at the back of the erm, boot cupboard, fitted me like a glove, well not a glove, but you know what I mean. They went up to mid calf and I think that they were leather, but as long as they kept me warm, I wasn’t going to argue about it.

Every few moments I stopped and listened. I didn’t want to be caught now, of all times.

I found a nice pink woolly hat with buttons on it which was cool and almost ready and I put that over my hair. It covered my hair and my ears and that was uber cool as far as I was concerned.

So there I was, rucksack full of clothes, wearing girls’ things and feeling happier than I had been in ages. I knew that I was going to places unknown, but at least I was going as Hannah and getting away from the immediate danger in the shape of Mike.

As a bit of mis-direction I left a note saying that I had gone to see my auntie in Scotland; I didn’t have one, but it might help gain me a bit of time.

I let myself out of the front door, closing it carefully after me.

It was cold, but not really bad as the night had warmed even more and what snow was left was melting in the moonlit sky.

It was technically Christmas Eve now and I knew that if I had left it until the following night, I would have little chance of getting away, what with the limited public transport services available over the holiday period– so it was now or maybe never; although, I decided early on that public transport probably wouldn’t be an option.

I was concerned about the possibility of being seen or recorded on camera as I made my way to the destination that I had decided on, so trains were definitely out and I also recalled that I read somewhere that most buses had camera’s too, so that was another big no-no.

I could hitch-hike but that carried more dangers than I was willing to chance. So I did what I had to do; I walked.

My destination was twenty miles away. I was young, fit and relatively healthy and I hoped that I could just walk there and not get caught.

As I walked through town, I avoided the town centre where I knew there were cameras and wherever I could, I kept to the shadows. Being a pretty rough night, there were few people about and I was glad of that. I did have to hide in a bush when a police car roared by, blue lights flashing, but apart from that, I only had to hide once or twice before I left town and went out into the countryside.

The roads were well signposted and I made quite good time, although some of the roads were a bit slippery still and there was also some un-melted snow that I had to negotiate around. I had a few bars of chocolate with me and a small bottle of coke–I had them in my locker and I was pleased that I had the presence of mind to bring them along–so I didn’t go hungry or thirsty on my longish journey.

Twenty miles might not seem far in a car, but try it on foot when you are tired, worried, frightened and very insecure and you would probably agree that it was a long enough journey in the daylight in the middle of a hot summer, let alone in the middle of the night in the winter when most sane people were tucked up in bed.

But I knew I had to get away and this was the only way I could do it. I had no idea what I would do when I got to where I was going, but I hoped that I might have some sort of divine intervention, or even a bit of blind luck that would see me through and get me to safety.

I walked as long as I could along a fairly large B road that led me slowly to my destination. Why I wanted to go there, I wasn’t very sure, but I remembered it from a few years ago and recalled the place as being lovely, friendly and somewhere that would be a nice place to live with, given the chance.

We had camped on the hills above the village, the sea was down below and the views fantastic. I had dreams that night of my new parents who agreed to adopt me on the spot and had taken me home to live happily ever after. Then I woke up and realised that it was just a dream. But I had never forgotten it and hoped, naively perhaps, that I would find happiness and safety in that quaint little village.

It got colder as the night drew on and the sky up above had twinkling stars and a large moon to show me the way and guide me to my destination.

Looking at my watch, I could see that it was now five fifteen and I was getting very tired, but I continued on, almost shuffling as I went across the moor that led eventually to the road that would, I hoped, soon lead me to my destination. It would be dark for at least another hour and I stopped for a moment and had my last piece of chocolate and final few dregs of my drink before I shuffled on. I wasn’t that cold though, as I had kept moving and that had helped to keep me warm.

The road wound downward and I couldn’t see much, even in the moonlight. I was off the moor now and there were bushes lined along the road making it difficult to find out where I actually was. But I could smell the sea and knew that it couldn’t be much longer before I reached my destination. I stopped suddenly as a large shadow crossed my path. It was a fox and it stopped, looked at me and then continued on its way. Up above in one of the trees, an owl hooted and there were some rustling noises in some bushes to my left. I wasn’t scared–much.

After a while I stopped and sat on a low wall. I could smell the sea now and was that surf I heard?

I took off my boots and rubbed my aching feet. I wasn’t in as good a condition as I thought and I would have dearly liked to just lie down and go to sleep, but I couldn’t just give in and I had to go on. Not far now, surely...

Wearily, I got to my feet and trudged on. I was too tired to even think beyond the next step. There was a bend in the road and then, looking down, I gasped. There before me in all its glory, in the waning moonlight was...Penmarris Bay.

Part 2 coming soon...

Please leave comments and kudo thingies...thanks! ~Sue

If you are enjoying this story, The original Penmarris story - Changes Book 1 is now available on Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006NZFWG8 (US)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changes-ebook/dp/B006NZFWG8/ref=sr_1... (UK)

The sight of the bay, the sand and the harbour, the lights of the village and upon top of the hill, the twinkling of the lights on the huge Christmas tree by the floodlit church, all gave me heart and a spring in my step and I almost ran down the road to the place where I hoped I would find help, comfort and safety.

Of course it was early, very early and nobody was about. I didn’t know what I would expect when I got there; flags waving, people ready, willing and able to take in a refugee. I came back to sober thoughts when I stopped on the quay and realised that I hadn’t really sorted out my problems, just encountered a whole new set of them.

Everywhere was quiet and except for the raucous sounds of the seagulls and the twanging noise coming from the rigging of the sailboats in the harbour. It was still quite cold and I could do with a hot drink, but that was impossible at the moment.

Coloured lights were twinkling merrily along the harbour and on the promenades to the left and right of me. Penmarris liked to deck itself out in Christmas splendour, maybe to catch the seasonal tourists–well it worked for me!

As I sat on a cold bench and looked out onto the harbour, I huddled down in my coat and thought about the last time I had been there, it must have been two and a half years before. I was with some foster parents and it was summer. It was the last time that I could honestly say that I enjoyed myself.

I had fun on the beach with my foster parents and they did all that they could to help make it a happy time for me. We went on the short pier on I was allowed to play a few slot machines. Then we had a hot dog and I threw bits of the bread into the sea and laughed as I saw the seagulls picking the bread from the water and wheeling away.

There was a Punch and Judy show on the beach and I sat with other children and watched them, I was ten then and maybe a bit old for all that, but it was great fun and for a time I felt like the other kids sitting around me, laughing and shouting at the antics of Punch and shouting ‘he’s behind you!’ at the poor unsuspecting Judy.

It gave me the feeling of being part of a family, doing normal family things. My foster parents were standing at the side, smiling and obviously pleased that I was having a good time.

We had fish and chips for tea, sitting on the very bench where I sat now. In my goodie bag I had some sweets, a stick of rock and a little plastic doll. I had chosen it when I somehow managed to knock the coconut off the post at the coconut shy.

They didn’t mind that I picked a doll rather than a toy gun. They knew about me and even bought me a nightie to wear to bed, but that was as far as it went. I wasn’t encouraged to be girlie as they knew that it would lead to more heartache and pain when I inevitably had to leave them.

I must have been a bit of a handful for the Fosters yes, that was funny, foster parents whose name was Foster!

Here I was, physically a boy who considered herself to be a girl and wanted to act, be and dress as a girl. On top of that I was semi incontinent and wet myself on a regular basis. I had always had toilet problems and the doctors tried lots of things to stop it. There were pills that I could take, but I reacted to them, so that didn’t work. I even had an operation when I was younger, but it failed too. There was talk of further operations when I stopped growing but that was for the future. At the moment, I had to live with it and wear special pants to help when I couldn’t get to the toilet in time and overnight.

People think that incontinence is something that old people suffer, but younger people can be affected too and it was just another thing for the other kids to mark me out as someone to ridicule.

Anyway, I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the negative thoughts and then continued my reminiscences of my day at Penmarris.

My special day had ended when the sun set, gloriously on the sea. The sun looked huge and blood red as it dipped slowly onto the horizon, the reflection on the sea was so lovely. It was a day that I would never forget as it was one of the happiest ones I had ever had. This was why I had come back, I wanted to be happy again.

Over to the left I heard the putt, putt of a boat engine and then I saw a fishing boat come through the harbour entrance, lit up itself, almost like a Christmas tree. Lots of gulls were flying over and around the boat as it manoeuvred itself over to the far side of the harbour and docked.

It started to get lighter now as the dawn approached. I was undecided as to what to do, but thought that as it was half past seven now, I could go away and be out of sight and wait until the shops and cafes opened and then I could get something to eat and drink.

Being Christmas Eve and a Saturday as well, I had little doubt that there would be people about and I hoped to lose myself in the crowd, if there was one!

I walked quickly down to the end of the promenade. There were various shelters there for holidaymakers to shelter in bad weather and one of them faced away from the sea and overlooked the hills above the harbour. Being winter, the beach was probably not going to be used much other than those hardy souls who walked their dogs, so I would be careful, duck out of sight and wait until the village woke up.

And that’s what I did. By the time nine o’clock came, I was very cold and I could hardly feel my feet and I think I had ears but they were as numb as my feet despite my woolly hat.

I kept popping my head up and glancing down the promenade towards the shops on the front. Gradually, more and more people were evident and eventually, I took the courage in my hands and left me place of shelter and walked back towards the harbour where the shops, restaurants and cafes were.

It was a lovely day, no clouds in the sky and the sun actually had some warmth it. I passed a few people and they smiled and nodded to me. A dog came up and sniffed me and the elderly couple who were walking it said sorry.

‘Mandy, stop that. The girl doesn’t want you mithering her.’

It gave me a warm feeling in my tummy that I had been seen as a girl. That was all I wanted–to be accepted as a girl.

There were three café’s on the harbour and they all had outside tables, but it was too cold for that. I chose the middle one as there were several people there and I had my story ready if asked–I had had plenty of time to concoct a ‘history’ for me and the reasons why I was there alone.

As I walked in, there was a blast of warm air in the doorway which was nice and very welcome.

‘Can I help?’ asked the girl in an apron.

‘Can I have a table please and do you do breakfasts?’

‘Yes love, come over here. You look cold.’

‘Yes, I’ve been out for a walk.’

‘Without your mum and dad?’

‘Oh, yes, Mummy and Daddy are having a lie in. they went to a party last night and they are feeling a bit, what did Mummy say? Oh yes, worse for wear. She said go and get some breakfast and wake them up when I get back.’

The girl laughed.

‘Well, it’s not unusual at this time of year to have parties. Have a look at the menu and I’ll be back. Do you want me to get you a drink?’

‘Yes please can I have a cup of tea?’

‘Yes dear. I won’t be a tick.’

She gave me a nice smile and then went off.

It was quite warm in there so I took off my hat and coat and sat back down again.

She was back in few moments with the hot tea.

‘There you are love; decided what you want for breakfast?’

‘Full English with toast, not fried bread please.’

‘Coming up.’

‘Oh can I use the toilet?’

‘Of course, over there by behind that partition, see the sign?’

‘Oh yes, right, thanks,’ I said as I had a quick sip of tea, picked up my bag and went to the toilet.

The Ladies was empty and I quickly went into the stall, took off my old pull ups put them in a bag, had a wee and then slipped on a fresh one. I only had three more and I hoped that the shops around there sold what I needed. I usually had to use chemists as supermarkets didn’t do what I needed in my size.

After I finished I went out of the stall, noticed a bin for nappies and stuff, popped the bag in and then after brushing my hair, I left the toilet and walked back to my seat.

I noticed that there were some more people in the café now and as I sat down and had another sip of tea, the waitress came over with a plate.

‘Here you are dear, one Full English.’

‘Thanks,’ I said looking down at the heaped plate, ‘this looks lovely,’

‘Yes, we do a good breakfast, all day too as it’s a favourite with the customers. Enjoy your meal.’

‘Thanks,’ I replied enthusiastically, tucking in before she had taken three steps away from me.

I ate enthusiastically and with a purpose. I was hungry and hadn’t eaten since the day before, and also I wasn’t sure when I would have the chance to eat again, so I made the most of my chance.

I lingered after my meal, had another cup of tea, used the ladies again and then, eventually, left the café after paying and thanking the girl who served me. Her name was Tammy and she seemed very nice.

The sun was up higher now. It wouldn’t get all that high at this time of year, but Devon is normally fairly mild compared to the north that is and so didn’t suffer huge drops in temperature, well that was before climate warming or whatever it’s called.

What snow that had still lain on roofs after the snow was all but gone and apart from a few heaped piles of snow by the side of the roads, it was pretty clear.

There were a few people on the beach and I could even see a few people dipping their toes in the water.

‘They must be mad.’ I thought.

I walked along the prom and took in the sea and the village with the brightly painted cottages and houses dotted on the hillside. I still had no idea what I should do. If I tell anyone what had happened, would they believe me? I doubted it as it was an adults word against mine and anyway, what did he do, get me to dress as a girl–hardly much of a crime.

How could I explain his look, his reaction to me and the type of clothes that he got me to wear? No, I was in trouble and I knew it. I would have to do something and just hoped that that something would turn up here in this magical place.

I spent the day wondering around the shops, walking up in the hills overlooking the pretty village and along the cliffs where the pounding seas washed up against the rocks–mind you it was abit cold far that so I didn’t stay up there long!

I went to another café for lunch and no one asked me why I was alone. Everyone was busy, so I suppose that they didn’t have time to think about why a girl who looked about 11 was out and about by herself. Mind you there were other kids of my age and a bit older around, but they were in groups and seemed to be enjoying themselves.

On the quay there were several interesting places, one was a pottery and next to that was an art gallery. They were both quite busy and I first went into the pottery and watched the lady spin the wheel and throw a pot. She looked up at me once and smiled. I smiled back, she seemed nice. Then I popped next door and had a look at the things in the gallery.

There were some lovely paintings, some wonderful photographs and some sculptures. It was a nice place to have a look around and I was engrossed in a pretty picture of the harbour at sunset when I jumped as someone spoke behind me.

‘Nice init?’

I looked around and a girl was standing there looking at the painting. She had a pink tabard on and a name tag that said that she was Tracy.

‘Yes, very nice.’

‘Like the way ‘e’s captured the sky, dead brill init?’

‘Mmm, you don’t come from around here?’

‘Nah, came from Peckham Rye; live ‘ere now though; love it, don’t I. You here wiv yer folks?’

‘Erm yes, they’ve gone to the pub and I said I’d meet them later.’

‘Well, ‘ave a good look around, bye.’

She went off after a customer beckoned her and I carried on looking. There was an office at the back of the gallery and inside was a very pretty lady sitting behind a desk reading. She looked up after a minute and looked straight at me and then smiled. It was such a warm smile that my heart melted and I could feel a pricking in my eyes. I looked away and pretended to look at another picture which was one of those modern ones where you don’t know which way up it should be and looked like a whole load of different shaped and coloured blocks.

When I looked back, the woman had got up and was bending over and then she straightened up. She had picked up a young girl and was giving her a cuddle. The girl looked about one or two, I wasn’t very good at ages, but I could see the love that they had for each other and I felt an envy that I shouldn’t have had. Slightly tearfully, I left the gallery and walked off, trying to stop myself from feeling so down.

On the High Street, not that it was exactly huge; there was a fair selection of shops. There were several gift shops, but only two were open. There was a book shop and a general store, a pound shop and a shoe shop. There was also a butchers, a bakers and believe it or not a candlestick maker.

Half way along was a largish clothes shop. In the windows were ladies, men’s and children sections. On an impulse I went inside–well it was warmer in there– and was soon looking around the girls section. There wasn’t a huge range, but I did see a lovely red velour dress; a bit young and small for even me, but remember I didn’t get a chance to dress up as a girl and never really had, so I had missed out on the pretty dresses, the ribbons in the hair and all things that little girls almost take for granted.

I sighed and turned away and then I saw it.

A dress.

The dress.

I went over and had a closer look.

It was on a shop dummy and looked yummy and scrumptious. It was red again; they seemed to like red in this shop, maybe because it was Christmas.

Anyway it was red Taffeta and satin party dress with sequins and roses, it had thin straps that looked adjustable and an elasticated back and waist tie. The waist tie was a large satin bow affair that sounds a bit over the top, but in this dress it looked just about perfect.

‘Do you like it dear?’

I turned around and smiled.

‘Mmm it’s lovely.’

‘We’ve only a few left but I think we have your size. Would you like to try it on?’

‘Erm, no I had better not.’

‘Where’s your mum?’

‘She’s across the road in the chemists.’

I hated lying, but I had to do it.

‘Well, you can try it on if you like.’

I looked at it again and I almost ached at the thought of trying the lovely dress on, but I couldn’t, I would always regret not being able to have it.

‘Oh hello Sam,’

The lady was looking over my shoulder at someone who had just come in. Looking back, I noted with mild shock that it was the lady from the gallery.

‘Hi Judy,’

‘Where’s Heather?’

‘Abby’s looking after her. I need some new tights, I laddered these ones and I can’t be bothered to go home to get some more.’

‘What are you after?’

‘Nude 15 denier,’

‘I’ll go and have a look.’

The lady went off and I turned back to the dress.

‘Lovely isn’t it,’ said a soft voice behind me.

I nodded.

‘I wish I had a dress like that at your age,’ she said whist fully.

I turned to her.

‘Didn’t you?’

‘No, I didn’t have a chance to wear pretty things like that. Never mind, water under the bridge.’

She sounded sad and I wondered if she had a troubled past, like me. She seemed to pull herself together.

‘Well, perhaps your parents might be in a generous mood and get you the dress for Christmas.’

‘I...I don’t know.’

‘Are you here on holiday?’

‘Erm, yes, Mummy is over at the chemists.’

‘Do you like it here?’

‘Oh yes, it’s so lovely. I have always loved this place.’

‘Been here before then?’

‘Yes over two years ago and I have never forgotten it.’

She was so easy to talk to. Her kind face oozed friendliness and kindness. Once again I felt a catch in my throat as I envied Heather for having this lovely woman as her mother.

Just then the sales lady came back and I turned away, looking at the dress but with my mind in turmoil.

‘Here you are Samantha, will this be okay?’

Samantha to the packet and looked at it closely.

‘Yep, they are fine, how much?’

‘ £4.80 please.’

‘Gosh, inflation eh? Well here you are.’

‘Going to the carol concert tonight up at the church?’

‘Jocasta and David would excommunicate me or something if we didn’t go.’

‘Abby and Heather too?’

‘Yes, although Heather will sleep through it, of course.’

They both laughed.

‘Well I had better get off. Tracy wants to leave early to get ready for something her and Tammy are going to.’

‘Oh you mean the dance?’

‘Mmm, oh to be young again.’

They both laughed and then I felt a touch on my arm.

‘Nice to see you ...?’

‘H...Hannah,’

She smiled.

‘Lovely name; well bye then.’

‘Bye.’

With one final look at me that seemed to go straight through me and out the other side, she left.

‘Lovely woman, Samantha is; would do anything for anyone. Some say she’s a soft touch, but don’t be fooled, she knows her stuff. Now, Hannah are you going to try this dress on?’

I looked at it once again, but knew that I shouldn’t.

‘No, thanks but I had better go, Mummy will be after me if I don’t get back.

‘All right dear. Have a very Happy Christmas and may your dreams come true.’

I nearly choked at that and mumbled some reply and hurried out of the shop.

I went further up the hill, my mind in turmoil. I had seen some nice people here and Samantha, well she was something special, even I could see that. I wanted to know more about her. I knew that she worked at the gallery, she was probably the manager or something. She had a daughter called Heather and a friend called Abby.

She talked about a carol concert and Jocasta and David, they must be something to do with the church.

I hadn’t anyone in my life that I could truly trust, but I could I on the strength of a brief conversation trust Samantha?

Maybe I could speak to her later.

Were my first impressions right, was she a good person?

I shook my head, this was daft; she doesn’t know me and I didn’t know her. I would have to think of something soon though. Maybe I should just go to the police station?

As luck would have it I was just passing it. Well it looked more like a house rather than a police station and I hesitated outside, wondering if I ought to go in.

I was just going down the path when I was stopped by someone.

‘Yer didn’t aught ter go along there me dearie.’

‘Pardon?’ I said turning and seeing a woman, about fifty or sixty standing there.

‘Station be closed, me ducks,’

‘What?’

‘Closed; only open in Summer. Baint worth stayin there mithering about.’ She said indecipherably.

I finally realised what she was saying, it was closed and all enquiries were being taken care of ‘upalong’ in the big town, or something like that anyway.

I thanked her and turned away. Things were not going to plan, not that I had much of one anyway.

I went up to the churchyard and sat on a bench, quite near the large Christmas tree that I had seen when I was approaching the village some hours before.

I wondered what was happening back at the home. Maybe I was being looked for–I probably was. Thinking about it at the time, I thought that going to the police would have meant being sent back there, no matter what I said. In reality, if I had seen the police and told the absolute truth, it would have been silly for me to have been sent back there until some sort of enquiry took place, but I didn’t consider this possibility until later.

There had been a notice by the gate of the church that announced that the Christmas Carol Service would be held at 6.30pm.

I had always loved carols and I had a nice voice so I considered the possibility of going. These services were always packed and I thought that I could blend in with the crowd. I was aware that the clothes that I was wearing were looking a bit grubby.

I had left my rucksack with the clothes that I had brought from the home behind a convenient hedge near the shelter that I had occupied early that morning. I didn’t want to carry it around all day and knew that if I needed it, it would be fairly easy to retrieve it from its hiding place. I would go and get my things soon. I only wished that I could have a shower or bath. I hated the idea of my being pongy and as for my teeth; I hadn’t even brought a tooth brush. I would have to get one and some toothpaste before my teeth dropped out or something.

I stayed in the church yard for a while longer, my mind churning over what had happened and what might happen to me in the future. It seemed like another night outside was probable and I needed to find a place of shelter to get out of the cold. I refused to think too far into the future as that looked like a big black hole to me. I was going to take one day at a time and then hope something might happen to make my life a bit more bearable.

I got up stiffly; it was starting to get cold again as the sun started to dip towards the horizon. Looking down on the harbour and bay with the all the boats, I noticed a huge, flaming great big, ginormous yacht on the far side. It wasn’t there before; it must have come in while I wasn’t looking. I wondered who owned it and what it was doing here. Some rich millionaire, I supposed. It was all right for some. Here was I with nowhere to go, dressed in cast off and only about  £32 to my name and over there was someone who couldn’t dream about what it was like for me.

I laughed at that. I wasn’t normally one to envy someone who was rich. Most of us manage to get by on a fraction of what that boat must have cost to run.

I shrugged and then left the church yard just as the tree lights came on. It was now 4.20 and it was rapidly getting darker. I wanted to get something hot in me before everywhere closed for the evening. But first I popped into the chemists for some erm plumbing supplies, luckily they had the ones I normally used. The lady behind the counter put the package in a carrier bag and then I paid her.

‘You know that you can get these on prescription love,’ she said.

‘Y...yes, but we’re on holiday and forgot to pack them.’

‘Never mind dear, have a Happy Christmas.’

‘You too; oh I need another tooth brush and some paste; Mummy says that she doesn’t know how I get through it all so quickly.’ I said smiling, but cringing inside at the lies I had been saying today.

‘They are over there dear,’

‘Thanks.’

I soon finished my purchases and after another Happy Christmas, I left the shop.

After that slightly embarrassing incident, I hurried down to the harbour to the third cafe on the front, the only one that I hadn’t been into before. Penmarris was still busy and there were plenty of people about. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself, so I didn’t slouch about, look guilty or furtive, I just walked along as if I knew exactly what I was doing and then walked in the cafe.

An older lady came up, she must have been about forty; she had a smock on.

‘Hello dear, can I help you?’

‘Can I have a cream tea please?’

‘By yourself then?’

‘Yes, mum and dad are resting in their room.’

‘And they let you come out by yourself?’

‘I am thirteen, you know!’

I nearly stamped my foot, but I was a well brought up girl–or I would have been, given the chance.

‘Oh sorry love, you look younger. Don’t mind me, when I see a pretty young thing like you, I tend to worry a bit.’

‘Erm, that’s okay. Thanks for caring.’

‘She led me over to a table.

‘Did you want tea or coke?’ she asked.

‘Tea please, it’s cold outside.’

‘It is that m’dear.’

She went off and I looked around.

There were several tables occupied, so I was far from alone. I felt a bit guilty about snapping at the waitress, but I had had a hard time of it, so that was my excuse. It was nice that no one questioned the fact that I was a girl. It would have been awful if I looked like a boy dressed as a girl in as much as questions would have been asked.

I felt so sorry for those people trapped in the wrong body and didn’t look like their real gender, if you know what I mean.

There was music in the background and it must have been a radio station as it stopped after one song and there was an advert for double glazing.

I was playing with a fork on the table while waiting for my cream tea and then I heard the news.

I didn’t pay much attention until my ears pricked up.

...the boy whose name is Joey Roberts is thirteen of slight build, blond hair and looks young for his age. He has been missing since this morning and is believed to be trying to find his way to Scotland to see a relative. If you see the boy, please contact Devon Police as soon as possible. There is some concern as the weather is closing in and there are reports of widespread storms overnight...

‘Here you are dear,’ said a voice that made me jump.

‘Oh, th...thank you,’ I blustered.

Looking at the waitress’s face, I could see no signs of dawning recognition or the possibility that I could be the boy on the news. I had to brazen it out and hope that she didn’t connect me with missing ‘Joey’.

‘That’s all right m’dear, enjoy your tea and call me if you need anything,’

She bustled off to serve at other tables and I carefully looked around. Nobody seemed to be paying me any attention and I started to breath a bit more easily.

With a slightly shaking hand, I picked up the spoon and a put two spoonfuls of sugar in my tea. I had a sip of the hot brew and it seemed to steady my nerves a bit. Then I paid more attention to the scone, cream and jam. Anyone who has never had a Devon Cream Tea hasn’t really lived. It wouldn’t have taken too long for me to demolish it normally, but I was stringing out the time, so that I didn’t have to go out in the cold until I had to. To extend my time there I had some more tea brought out and I also took the opportunity of using the Ladies no less than three times.

‘Must be the weather m’dear.’ said the waitress cheerfully on my third trip, as I felt my face go red with embarrassment.

The place was emptying now and I regretfully paid my bill, said goodbye to the waitress and then went out into the cold, dark early evening.

Clouds had come over and there was no moon or stars now. The Christmas lights were on along the promenade and looking up and down the bay, many houses and cottages were festooned with lights of all colours. It was so pretty that I felt a lump in my throat.

It was a bit windy–nothing new there– so I did up my coat to the neck and pushed my woolly hat firmly down to cover my hair and ears. The first thing was to retrieve my rucksack, I did this without being seen and then I went in one of the toilets along the front and in a cubicle I changed my top and jumper for something a bit cleaner. The jeans would have to do as there was no way I was going to wear a skirt in that weather!

I managed to cram everything into my rucksack including the stuff I bought from the chemists and then I was ready to go.

I made my way back up the hill along the winding road that led to the church, passing several people on the way. It was now half past five and I assumed that the church would be open soon for the carol service.

The lights on the huge tree twinkled and shone, and the floodlights that lit the church from all angles made everything seem magical and festive.

There were already several cars in the church car park. I didn’t want to take my rucksack into the church with me, so I found a gravestone over in a corner out of the way and hid my bag behind it; then I sat down with my back against the wall of the church and waited for more people to turn up. Luckily, this spot was out of the wind and relatively sheltered so I didn’t feel too cold while I waited.

The church clock chimed six.

On a path a little away from where I was hidden, two girls came down the path, chatting and laughing.

‘Oh Jen, did you see the way Poppy jumped that fence; if she was bigger she could run in the National.’

‘Don’t be daft Pippa, she’s far too small, my Rosie though would run rings around Poppy, and lets face it, she’s only got three legs,’

‘Flaming cheek!’

That was the last I heard except for some giggling and the occasional squeal.

I smiled at the girls antics, they seemed nice. I would love to have friends like that.

I could hear more cars arriving and soon the paths were busy with people arriving for the service. Now was the time come out and mingle, but I hesitated. I was still unsure of myself and whether I was doing the right thing. But it was cold in the churchyard and the sound of the organ playing hymns and the chatter and laughter of the people arriving at the church helped steel my resolve and I took a deep breath, joined the others and went in hoping against hope that I wasn’t doing something very silly.

Part 3 coming soon...

Please leave comments and kudo thingies...thanks! ~Sue

If you are enjoying this story, The original Penmarris story - Changes Book 1 is now available on Kindle:

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changes-ebook/dp/B006NZFWG8/ref=sr_1... (UK)

The church was half full but getting fuller by the minute.

I remembered that the few churches that I had been into had been rather cold at this time of year; but this one was warm, with heaters high up on the walls making it toasty warm.

It wasn’t a huge church, but I suppose you could sit two hundred at a squeeze. There were lots of parents with children and it was a bit noisy. Why is it that babies plus church equals screaming babies?

There was a mix of ages from the very young to the very old. Everyone seemed to know each other and there were lots of hugs and handshakes.

I felt a bit left out; all these families and friends and I had no one. Was I asking too much to be part of a proper family?

I sat near the back and watched others come in and tried to keep a low profile. When the place was nearly full, Samantha came in holding Heather; with her was the lady from the pottery and so it all sort of clicked, they were a couple and Heather was their child. Well I assumed that and it was confirmed by the fact that they were holding hands and had that lovey-dovey look that people who are loony about each other have.

They went up to the front and sat with another lady. There was still one space left up front though and I wondered who that was for...

‘Excuse me.’

I looked up and there was an elderly woman beaming down at me.

‘Can I squeeze through?’

I smiled and then stood up and she slipped past me and then sat next to me. On my other side was a man with greasy hands, he looked as if he had just finished work. His wife was by his side in her best Sunday dress and hat and she didn’t look too pleased at his appearance. I noticed that they were both wearing sturdy boots,

‘Listen Father, you baint aught ter come ter the House o’ God wearing clothes like that? You should ‘ave gorn upalong and changed. What will they all think?’

I was going red in the face with embarrassment at this. I wanted to melt into the scenery on not be seen and there was this lady who didn’t know the meaning of a whisper, laying in to her hubby like nobody’s business. It didn’t stop there when the husband replied. I looked down wondering if the earth might do me a favour and swallow me up.

‘ElspethPearson, shut yer gob,’ I never ‘ad time did I?’

‘’Don’t yer tell me ter shut me gob, yer lump o’ lard. Just wait till I gets ye ‘ome....’

I think that Mr Pearson would have said something else, but the organ stopped and so did everything else. There was a hush, a strange, unnatural hush and then the click of heals and the smell of mothballs and some sort of scent wafting in the air.

A lady was walking down the aisle.

She was large, imposing, had some sort of dead bird type of hat and an expensive fur coat on. She had the air of a person who was in charge and knew that she was. She glanced left and right, caught my eye with a laser like look and then continued on. Everyone stood up and I wondered why; was she royalty or something?

‘Lady Fairbairn,’ whispered the kindly old lady next to me and said nothing else, as if that explained everything.

Lady Fairbairn went to the front; surprisingly, Samantha, Abby and Heather looked delighted to see her and there was a series of pecks on the cheek and then they all sat down.

Just then, a girl came in; she was pretty, about fifteen and looked a bit puffed. She looked around trying to find a seat and then saw me. She barged past the Pearson’s, saying sorry for stepping on Mrs Pearson’s boot and then somehow squeezed between Mr Pearson and me. She gave me a beaming smile.

‘Hi, late as usual, you’re new, holiday maker are you or visiting rele’s?’

‘’Err, holidays.’

‘Where’s your parents? Don’t answer, probably up front. I hate going up front. You are noticed up there. I don’t want to get noticed. Vicar’s a nice chap, David Gotobed and his wife Jocasta is a sweetie too, but I always get hooked into doing things if I get noticed. I’m Sarah, who are you?’

‘Erm, Hannah,’

‘Erm Hannah, funny name that; well I just got here in time, she’d skin me alive if I didn’t turn up. She’s a stickler for doing the right thing. Anyway, David and Jocasta’s daughters, Jennifer and Phillipa are here somewhere, oh yes, they’re in the choir. I can’t sing for toffee. Mind you, they are pony mad; I’m getting a pony next year, I hope, anyway...’

The confusing stream of words stopped as the organ started playing Hark The Herald Angels Sing and everyone stood up.

I could hear the carol being sung from behind and then the vicar came in followed by the choir, all in red cassocks, starched ruff collars and crisp white surplices, each carrying a long, lit candle.

On the next chorus, the congregation joined in as the procession went down to the front and went to their allotted places; the choir to their stalls, facing inward and the vicar to the front, next to the lectern.

I won’t explain too much about the service, for those who have been to them, they are much the same. The singing was lovely and I went as far as forget myself and sang my heart out. I wasn’t the only one though and I don’t think that I drew much attention to myself. Sarah though was a bit off key.

‘Why is everyone singing out of tune?’ she hissed at me in a lull between carols.

I looked at her and giggled behind my hand. She wasn’t amused!

The sermon was brief and to the point and the vicar had a light way of speaking that, I think resonated, I think that’s the word, with the congregation.

It surprised me though, when Samantha walked up to the lectern and read a passage from the bible. To this day, I haven’t a clue what she was reading; I was just captivated by her voice, her loveliness and her shining personality. I was convinced, rightly or wrongly that I should tell her about my problems. I still don’t know why. But I had to talk to someone and I couldn’t carry on living they way I had been and she just seemed like person that would listen to me and not be judgmental.

Towards the end of the service, one of the boys stood up and sang Silent Night without the organ. His voice was pure and clean and it went straight to my heart. I felt tears going down my face as I listened to his angelic voice.

Silent night, Holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in Heavenly peace
Sleep in Heavenly peace

Silent night, Holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from Heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Hallelujah
Christ, the Savior is born
Christ, the Savior is born

Silent night, Holy night
Son of God, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from thy Holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth

Then the whole choir stood up and sung it in German and that was lovely too.

I don’t think that I was the only one in tears after they finished, but things got brighter when we all sang O Come all ye Faithful followed by Once in Royal David's City.

All in all I enjoyed the service and felt part of something bigger and despite the possible dangers of discovery and exposure, it was worth it.

All too soon, the service was over and the vicar and then the choir left the way that they had came in, followed by Lady Fairbairn who walked down the aisle with a determined step.

Sarah was just going to whisper something in my ear, when Lady Fairbairn caught sight of her. She raised one eyebrow and Sarah started to go.

‘Sorry, have to go. Mummy wants me to leave with her; bye,’

I just had time to say goodbye and she was off. Well fancy that, Lady Fairbairn was her mother!

The church started to empty and I sneaked out with a few other people in front and a family behind me.

Suddenly I was gripped by the hand and there was the vicar and next to him, I assumed, his wife, Jocasta.

‘Nice to see you, did you enjoy it?’

‘Y...yes.’ I said, a bit tongue tied.

‘Good, good,’ he said somewhat absent mindedly as his eyes roved over to the people standing behind me.

Jocasta took my hand.

‘Are you all right dear, you look a bit pale.’

‘I’m fine thanks,’

‘On holiday here?’

‘Yes.’

‘Thought so, I know all the faces. Are your parents around?’

‘Erm, I think they went on ahead. I erm got talking to erm, Sarah,’

‘Ah yes, Sarah, nice girl but a bit chatty. Are you here for long?’

‘Just a few days.’

‘Good; well nice seeing you. if you want a chat, come up to the vicarage– all part of the service. I’m not such an old fuddy-duddy as I look.’

‘You aren’t old!’ I said.

‘Bless you; anyway, you had better pop along and catch your parents, they will be wondering where you are.’

She gave me another smile.

‘Okay, bye,’

‘Goodbye dear.’

I hurried off and then as I went I looked back at her. She was following me with her eyes, so I gave a little wave and ran off.

I managed to get around the corner of the church and out of sight and then as there was no one in view, I went over to the gravestone and picked up my rucksack.

The church clock struck eight. It was getting colder now and the clouds were bubbling up as far as I could see in the gloom. It looked like it was going to be a rotten night and I had nowhere to go.

I went to the corner of the church and peeped around to see if there was anyone about. There were still a few people at the entrance and in the porch and I wondered whether I should just go, but I was worried about the slightly enquiring expression on Jocasta’s face. I wondered if she smelt a rat. She would see me clearly as I crossed the path leading to the road if she happened to look this way.

Then I saw Samantha, Abby and Heather leave.

They walked slowly with Heather in Abby’s arms. I could hear them laughing as they went down the path.

I looked back at the entrance just in time to see the doors close. Now was my chance, I could leave without being seen. There were a few people about still and over in the car park, car engines were being started and the beams of the headlights cut across the churchyard as cars manoeuvred and then left.

I walked down the path, following a man and woman with a young boy holding their hands and jumping up and down as he walked.

About thirty yards in front of them was Samantha and her little family.

I wondered where they lived and if they had brought their car. I was answered almost at once when instead of going to the car park; they turned left, away from the cars and then walked down the road.

I reached the churchyard entrance and glanced to my left and then right. What was I going to do; go back to the harbour, maybe use the shelter at the end of the promenade and somehow huddle down for the night?

What a thought for Christmas Eve.

Tomorrow the cafes would almost certainly be closed, so the chances of food and a hot drink would be slim.

In the distance, I could still see Samantha and Abby.

What should I do?

Without really answering my own question, I turned and followed them. I had no idea what I was going to do. At least by walking I would keep myself warm, but I couldn’t do that all night could I?

Up ahead, by the streetlight, I could see them turn right. Looking around, I noticed that I was alone, so I just started running to catch up. For some reason I wanted to see where they lived.

I reached the corner and slowed to a stop. Looking around the corner, I noticed that I was quite close to them now. They didn’t seem to be in any sort of a hurry.

I waited until there was a bit more distance between us and, keeping in the shadows, I followed them once again.

They walked about a quarter of a mile and then turned right.

I did my running to catch up thing and saw as I turned the corner that they were going up a slightly windy lane and then suddenly turned left. I followed carefully, listening for any sounds. I heard a door close just as I reached the garden gate. On the gate it said Jellicle Cottage.

I felt something furry up against my leg and I almost screamed with fright. Looking down, I sighed with relief that I didn’t see a humongously large rat, but a pussy cat, purring away and rubbing itself against my leg.

‘Shh, pussy, you’ll get me into trouble.’ I whispered.

The cat ignored me and carried on and then she started meowing. I opened the gate and the cat ran into the garden. On an impulse I followed. It wasn’t very light in the garden, but I could see the vague shapes of trees, bushes, the main house or cottage rather and also several outhouses, one of which the cat went towards.

The cottage lights were on and the curtains were still drawn back, so I could see inside. I crept up to the widow and peeped in, being careful not to be seen.

I gasped as I saw the cheerful sitting room with decorations, Christmas cards on the walls and a lovely twinkling Christmas tree by the side of a roaring log fire. It looked so cosy and warm. Just then Abby walked in with Heather in her arms. Heather looked fast asleep. Samantha followed and they crossed the room and went into another one. It seemed obvious that Heather was being put down for the night.

I stepped away, feeling very guilty. This was wrong. I shouldn’t be a peeping Thomasina. I had no right to pry into their private lives. It seemed all the worse somehow because it was Christmas.

Once again I jumped as I got the furry leg treatment. This time it was another cat; how many cats lived here?

The cat purred, meowed quietly and then turned away, heading for one of the outbuildings that I could see by the lights of the cottage.

I followed the cat for some reason and then noticed that it went into the outbuilding using some sort of cat flap in a door. I remembered that I had brought my torch with me and I took it out of the side pocket of my rucksack.

After looking around at the cottage and seeing no sign of anyone looking out, I switched the torch on but shaded the light, using my hand to shield it so it only shone a bit. I quietly turned the knob, hoping that the door wasn’t locked and I was in luck as the door opened quietly.

I stepped in and shut the door behind me.

By the light of my torch, I could see at least a dozen cat beds and cushions littered about the floor, some with cats on. Other cats were cleaning themselves and at least three came up and gave me the once over before moving away and settling down.

One thing I noticed straight away, the place was warm–there were a couple of heaters on the wall blowing out warm air. It looked like Samantha and Abby had a thing for cats and they liked them to be nice and cosy at night. There was a glazed window to the side and I looked out. The curtains at the window of the cottage had been drawn and it looked like the couple were settling down for the night.

I went over to a corner, pulled out a couple of large cushions from a pile and sat down on them. I needed to think.

Of course I was joined by two cats who needed a bit of stroke treatment before they would settle down and allow me to think things through. Eventually peace returned and I was able to consider my options.

Then it started to rain–hard.

I listened to the rain drumming on the roof and the wind started to whip up outside. Well that sort of made my immediate option pretty clear. I would have to stay here in the warm and dry rather than go outside and maybe die of exposure. My instinct to follow Samantha and Abby had paid dividends.

I was feeling bit uncomfortable, down below, so I changed my underwear. Then I pulled the cushions about a bit, found a few more on shelf and then made a sort of nest for myself. There was a tap and sink in the corner so I cupped some water and drank. I didn’t have anything to eat, but I wasn’t too hungry, as I had eaten quite well earlier. I did have a couple of bars of chocolate and a packet of crisps as emergency rations so I wouldn’t starve.

I made myself comfortable and used one of my jumpers to cover me, but it wasn’t cold in there so I really felt as snug as a bug in a rug. I also had some more heating available, because a few of the cats decided to keep me company. So not only was I warm and dry, I had some welcome company and after all I had been through, I considered myself to be lucky.

My watch had an alarm on it and I set it for five thirty. I didn’t want to be caught napping and I wanted to be away from there before dawn.

I settled down and tried to sleep, but what with the noise of the rain and the wind and the purring and fidgeting of my new furry friends, I found it hard to drop off.

My mind kept going over my problems and what I should do about it. I had decided that I would tell Samantha about my problems and then I thought about it and wondered if she would believe me. She appeared to be a pillar of the community; maybe she would just hand me over to the authorities. I had had experience of the way the children’s services dealt with me. They didn’t seem to believe that I was a girl and had made me be something that I wasn’t–a boy.

Would that change if they saw me now and how desperate I had been to get away from the home and the possibility of being abused? What had Mark Parminter told them? I bet he didn’t say that he was a pervert and deserved to be put in prison and the key thrown away.

It came back to the fact that it was his word against mine. Who would everyone believe–him or me?

I turned over, dislodging one of the cats who promptly climbed back on me made him or herself more comfortable.

My thoughts then turned to Christmas. Christmas for me was magical, not because I had ever had a really great Christmas, I hadn’t, but the thought of Christmas with the presents and the fun and laughter; the closeness that some lucky families have and the joy of giving as well as receiving, all made it a special time.

All around the cove, families were looking forward to having a nice Christmas. Children were in bed, either fast asleep or trying to sleep, waiting for Santa to come on his sleigh. A drink would have been left for Santa, maybe a glass of milk or even something a wee bit stronger, together with a mince pie or cookie. Some parents were probably still preparing for the festivities and it was probable that more than one kitchen was occupied by people trying to get everything ready for the morning...

I yawned. I was ever so tired. It had been a long hard day and needed my sleep. I still didn’t know what I would do in the morning...

Something touched my shoulder and I brushed it away.

I didn’t open my eyes, I was still too tired.

‘Go away, pussy I’m asleep.’

‘Hannah.’

‘What?’ I mumbled and then realised that I had been spoken to and my eyes shot open.

Light was streaming through the window and cats were walking about and making a lot of noise, but the only thing I was really seeing was Samantha, kneeling in front of me.

Things rushed through my head. My alarm hadn’t gone off. I had been caught. I was in trouble and would be sent back.

‘Honey, what are you doing here; why aren’t you with your parents?’

She stroked the hair out of my eyes and her touch was so gentle and nice...

I looked up and tears began to trickle down my cheeks.

‘I...I’ve run away.’

Why–oh look we can’t talk here, come into the cottage.’

She stood up and then held out her hand. I hesitantly took it and she helped me up.

‘Is that your bag?’

I nodded, not daring to speak.

She picked my bag up and still holding my hand she led me out of the outbuilding.

I gasped as I saw that the rain had turned to snow and everywhere was covered in a blanket of white. Flakes were falling gently and resting on the trees, bushes and ground.

Her hand was warm and soft. She didn’t say anything and just led me into her lovely, warm and welcoming cottage.

‘Abby!’ she called.

Abby came out of what I assumed was the kitchen; she had an apron on, a Christmas one with reindeers on. She was wiping her hands on a tea towel and had a smudge of flour on her nose.

‘What? oh, erm Hannah isn’t it?’

I nodded and then once again burst into tears.

‘Was it something I said?’ asked Abby coming over and giving me a hug.

‘Sorry,’ I said, ‘sorry, I’ve spoilt your Christmas.’

‘I found her in the cat house,’ said Samantha.

‘You’ve been there all night?’ asked Abby.

I nodded, unable to speak.

‘She’s run away from home,’

‘Oh Lord; that’s bad, look, you look cold and hungry, why don’t you freshen up in the bathroom and we’ll get you sorted out; erm, you see to have damp jeans, have you a change of clothing?’

I nodded–this was great, I had leaked in the night.

‘Well, I tell you what, have a shower and then you’ll feel nice and clean. Use the towels and any smellies you want and in the mean time I’ll get some breakfast organised. Sam, do you want to go and see if Heather is awake yet?’

‘Okay and Hannah, don’t worry, we’ll help you all we can and that’s a promise.’ She gave me a lovely smile and I was then shown the bathroom.

Soon I was under a hot shower and felt cleaner than I had in days–days, it had only been two days ago that I had been in the home and everything had gone pear shaped. I washed my hair, it felt filthy and then using some sweet smelling shower gel, I washed my body until all traces of yuck had gone.

Using a big fluffy towel, I dried myself and my skin tingled and felt nice and silky after using the fragrant gel that must have had some sort of moisturiser in it.

I emptied my bag, put on some clean underwear, a cream blouse and then I decided that as I was inside I would wear a skirt–i didn’t have a choice as my only jeans were dirty and soiled. The skirt was a black, pleated, poly cotton mix one that just covered my knees, it was probably a school skirt, but it was the better of the two that I had. Then I pulled on some white ankle socks that were relatively clean and black slip on shoes with a very low heel. This was all I had to wear, not exactly the height of cool for a girl my age, but it would do.

There was a hair dryer in the bathroom and I used it on my wet hair. Once dried, I brushed and teased my hair a bit to get it roughly into a girlie type style and then I looked at myself in the slightly misted mirror. I looked okay, not great but I couldn’t expect miracles. I had dark circles under my eyes and I was a bit pale, but not too bad considering what had happened.

I had deliberately put all thoughts of my predicament and discovery on hold while I was in the bathroom. But I had finished doing what I had to do and all thoughts of my position and what would happen to me came flooding back.

You know that slightly sick, apprehensive feeling that you get when you are waiting for something nasty to happen like a dentist’s appointment. Well, this was about a hundred times worse than that.

I took a deep breath, considered whether I should just stay there and hopefully everything bad would miraculously go away, realised that it wouldn’t happen and then with heart thumping, I opened the door.

If I expected an armed response unit, the police, or maybe a social services hit squad outside, it didn’t happen. There was no one in sight. I followed my nose to the kitchen. I could smell bacon and eggs and my mouth started to drool a bit.

Inside, Abby was at the cooking with stuff sizzling in a pan and Samantha was feeding Heather at the table something that resembled mud.

Heather looked up and gurgled something and the others smiled at me.

‘You look nice,’ said Samantha.

‘Not really, these aren’t my clothes...’

‘No explanations for now; lets feed you up and when Heather is out of the way in her play pen we can all sit down and have a chat.’

‘I’m sorry to spoil your Christmas,’ I said, sniffing.

‘You aren’t spoiling Christmas, I promise,’ said Abby as she placed a plate in front of me’ ‘now tuck in; you’ll feel a bit better when you get some food down you.’

It was a typical English breakfast and I enjoyed it despite my predicament. The others sat and ate with me and little was said as everyone was busy filling their faces.

Soon we were finished and with another cup of tea we went into the sitting room. From the inside it looked even cosier than when I saw it from the outside the previous night. The logs were blazing merrily and the lights on the Christmas tree, if anything looked even brighter.

Heather was in her playpen making giggling noises–she seemed a very contented child– as we sat around in deep armchairs.

‘Right,’ said Samantha, ‘would you like to tell us all about it?’

I looked at them both, took another sip of tea, hoping that it would help give me courage and then took a deep breath.

I had decided that I would tell them the whole truth. I was fed up with the deceit and lies.

Looking down at the floor I told them my story.

‘First of all, my official name is Joseph but I was known as Joe or Joey. Physically I’m a boy but inside I’m all girl...’

I told about being an orphan and living in a succession of foster homes and care homes; my plumbing problem; how I had always been a girl and the fact that no one took me seriously, including the doctor who had seen me two years before.

Then I got upset about what Mike had made me do and how frightened I was that he was going to do other things to me.

By this time Samantha had squeezed in beside me and was hugging as I carried on pouring out my heart.

I explained that I didn’t think that I would be believed as it was his word against mine and that I had to get away and try to do–something, and how I decided to come to the place that I had been happiest, even for such a short space of time.

In the end I felt emotionally drained and just sat there, my face wet with tears awaiting their verdict, because I felt that I was on some sort of trial and that the outcome would either be good or bad for me.

Samantha was still hugging me, so at least hadn’t recoiled at what I had told them.

Abby walked over and knelt down and her face was inches from mine. She had tears I her eyes and that set me off again.

After a minute or two I pulled myself together.

‘Sorry.’ I said.

‘Sorry?’ said Abby, ‘you have nothing to apologise for has she Sam?

‘Nothing at all; look Hannah, take a few tissues and have a good blow and then we’ll talk about a plan of action.

I took the preferred tissues and after wiping my eyes I did have a good blow and that helped unblock my nose–I know too much information–anyway I felt better after that.

‘Right,’ said Samantha taking my hand, ‘we need to sort things out. I realise that you don’t really know us, but can you trust us to help you?’

I nodded, I had no choice.

‘Abby, any thoughts?’

Abby had sat back down in her chair again and had a writing pad and pen in her hand.

‘Well it’s obvious really; call out the troops.’

‘Troops?’ I said; I hadn’t seen any army camps and anyway, that seemed a bit over the top.

‘Yes,’ said Samantha, ‘good idea, the troops are our Penmarris support group. When we have problems we call them in and then get things done. We are a close community and we always help one another.’

‘But I’m not from around here.’

‘You are now,’ smiled Abby with Samantha nodding in agreement.

I went all squishy inside at that. Maybe things weren’t so bad for me after all.

‘I’ll make the calls,’ said Samantha, getting up.

‘But what about Christmas, I will spoil everyone’s Christmas.’

‘No you won’t; we all love to help and it will make our Christmas to help you.’

‘Will they laugh at me?’ I asked as Samantha left the room leaving Abby with me.

‘What for?’ asked Abby, with a puzzled face.

‘I’m dressed as a girl and have...other problems.’

‘They won’t laugh, I promise. Look at me, what do you see?’

‘A lovely lady,’

‘Ooh you flatterer; well up until I was a teenager I was brought up as a boy, I was a hermaphrodite or intersexed and I had to have an operation to help me be a girl, so I know a bit of what you are going through. Samantha has issues too, but I will let her tell you at another time. We have others kids in the village with gender identity problems so you are far from unique. Everybody knows about me and I have never been rejected by anyone. Also, maybe because of my gender problems, I was a bit incontinent and wet the bed sometimes, so don’t feel ashamed about it. Many people have that particular problem and our doctor, Marcia Sinclair will tell you that she has more than one child on her books with it. Does that make you feel a bit better?’

I nodded; no one had told me anything like this. I was just some strange kid who wanted to dress funny, was a bit loopy and wet himself, that was what I had all my life. Why were people so cruel?

‘Thank you for helping me,’

‘No problem, ma chá¨re– I’m going to French class up at the school, it’s hard. But I try. Now are you still hungry?’

‘No, I’m fine thanks.’

‘Okay let me know if you want something...’

Just then Samantha came back in, she was rubbing her hands.

‘Right, we have a go situation. Dotty, Jocasta, Marcia, Dawn and Katie are coming down in about thirty minutes.’

‘I look a mess,’ I said.

‘Spoken like a true girl. Well you don’t look too bad although I think we’ll hit the shops when they open again.’

‘I only have  £28.40,’ I said.

‘Don’t worry about money,’ said Samantha,’ it won’t be a problem, believe me.

‘So I’m staying?’ I said hopefully.

‘We’ll see, but don’t worry; hell will freeze over before I let you go anywhere near that home and that odious man.’

I had to be satisfied with that and it did make me feel a bit better, but I had been in ‘the system’ for most of my life and I knew how bad the social services could be sometimes.

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock on the front door and it woke me up. I must have been dozing. I rubbed my eyes and noticed that I was alone. Even Heather had gone and I wondered where everyone was. There was another knock on the door and more voices. I wondered what was happening but was too shy and more to the point, too worried to go and see.

Then Sarah walked in.

‘Hi Hannah, well, how cool is this?’

‘Hello, erm Sarah.’

She was wearing a rather nice jumper and skirt; they probably cost a fortune and looked lovely on her. The skirt was an Aztec pattern knitted one–I had seen them in the shop, they were well cool–she also had on some dark blue leggings and a cream dkny jumper that I would have died for. Her boots were ankle ones and were black, they looked nice and warm.

I wondered why she was here and then almost as if she read me mind she continued.

‘Mummy said that there was a high powered meeting or something and I sort of got in the Roller with her. I don’t think that she wanted me to come but, I just gave her the doe eyed look and said that I wanted to be with my mummy on Christmas day and that was it, so here I am. So what’s up?’

I looked down and mumbled something.

‘No one will tell me anything. Where are your parents and why are you here? Not sure about the clothes, that’s unkind you might be poor or something. Oh sorry, I’ve put my foot in it again. I don’t mean to, as I was as poor as a church mouse once before Mummy rescued me from a life of crime, drugs and villainy–that is the right word, isn’t it for someone who is bad? Anyway, if you are around for a while, we’ll go shopping. Mummy will pay; she’s got pots of it and doesn’t know what to do with it. That is if you want to. You might be going home with your parents soon, I hope not as you seem cool. Do you have a phone, shall we exchange numbers then I could text you and you could do the same for me; then we can tweet and do the Facebook thing. Mind you, you might not want to know me when you go home. Where is your mum and dad and why aren’t you roasting chestnuts and eating lots of mince pies and opening your pre–sents. Oh Hannah, why are you crying?’

She came over and I was engulfed in a big hug. She started crying as I had and she was saying things like, sorry for being a beast and putting her size 3 foot in it.

Just then Samantha came in.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

‘Sorry Sam, I said some silly things to Hannah and she got a bit upset.’

‘Things are a bit hard for Hannah at the moment.’

‘I can see that now, but nobody told me not to put my foot in it.’

‘Yes, well, never mind. Look Hannah, are you up to coming and having a word with the others?’

‘Do I have to?’ I asked, not wanting to go through all that heartache again.

‘They have all been told about what happened. They just want to clarify a few things.’

‘All right,’ I said, getting up rather reluctantly and following Samantha.

‘Can I come?’ asked Sarah.

Samantha looked at me enquiringly.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, ‘Why not.’

It would be nice having someone a bit younger there, although I would say that Sarah was a couple of years older than me. Let’s face it, my situation would be common knowledge soon and I didn’t think that it would matter if Sarah heard the facts first hand, rather than from anyone else.

We followed Samantha out and we went down a corridor, avoided several cats and then, in front of us was a big conservatory, inside were several people, but facing the door, hat still on her head with some sort of dead animal on it, sat Lady Fairbairn and she was staring at me with those piercing eyes.

Part 4 coming soon...

Please leave comments and kudo thingies...thanks! ~Sue

If you are enjoying this story, The original Penmarris story - Changes Book 1 is now available on Kindle:

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changes-ebook/dp/B006NZFWG8/ref=sr_1... (UK)

As I walked in, all my fears and doubts came to the surface. I wanted to turn around and run away–away from those eyes, all looking at me; especially one pair...

Did I just look like a boy dressed up as a girl and was I kidding myself that these people would help?

I felt like a rabbit in the headlights just waiting to be run over or trampled on.

I didn’t have much time to think as soon as I arrived; the great, fearsome lady spoke.

‘Come here child.’

That was a surprise, she spoke gently to me.

I walked over, conscious of everyone’s eyes on me.

‘So, you are Hannah. Well you look a bit done in girl. Not much meat on yer. Some poor excuse of a man has upset yer, I hear. Not good enough. Needs horsewhipping, not you, him; blast his guts. If I had me Purdey, I’d give him both barrels. Come and sit net ter me and we’ll decide what ter do,’

She was sitting on the most comfortable sofa in the room and I just went over and sat by her. I nearly jumped ten feet when she took my hand and she held it the whole time I was there, which was kind of nice. Just her touch was enough to quench the gut wrenching fears that I had been feeling about being sent back to that animal.

Samantha spoke up.

‘Right, we know why we are here and what has happened to young Hannah...’

She pointed out who was who and they seemed a quite nice set of people; the next few minutes would, hopefully confirm that.

‘Right,’ she continued, let’s get on...’

Then was a clanging noise coming from behind me as if something had dropped and she stopped and frowned.

‘Sarah, fer Gods sake sit down and stop bein’ a pest. Any noise from you and I’ll set Fifi on yer,’ said Lady F sternly

‘Sorry Mummy,’ she mumbled as, with a face as red as a beetroot, she sat down and tried, a bit unsuccessfully, to look angelic.

I wanted to giggle, but I wasn’t sure if that was just nerves.

‘Right,’ said Samantha with a slight grin, ‘erm, where was I, oh yes; well, Hannah has been through hell and back and I think that we need to decide what is in her best interests. For my part, I will not let her go back to the home. However the authorities will have to be told and we need to work out what we tell them and what we can do about helping Hanna; any ideas?’

‘Well the police will need to be told, otherwise they will carry on looking for her,’ said Abby.

‘Legally, we need to cover our bases.’ said Katie, ‘the SS will want get involved, especially the children’s services. Hannah comes under their care...’

‘Well they haven’t helped her much, so far’ said Sarah indignantly.

‘Thank you Sarah, we know what they have and haven’t done and I sort of agree that they could have handle Hannah’s case a lot better, but telling them about their collective deficiencies will not help at this point.’

‘’As you know,’ said Jocasta, ‘David and I are registered as foster parents, so I know the procedure. Over the Christmas period there is only a skeleton staff at children’s services and it would be likely that Hannah would be emergency fostered, but there is, as always, a shortage of suitable placements and she may be put into a emergency or temporary home, until a decision is made, probably sometime in the new year.’

She stopped and thought for a moment and then continued.

‘I think Hannah has been through enough upheaval and the last thing she needs is to be carted off to a lot of strangers, even if a place could be found for her. I think that the most favourable scenario would be that she is placed in foster care until the mess is sorted out and that her best interests lie with her staying here.’

‘Bloody red tape, we didn’t win the war with red tape, we made decisions and stuck to them. mamby-pamby social workers think that they know it all.’ said Lady Fairbairn, and then turning to me she continued, ‘what would you like to do, young Hannah.’

I looked up at the faces around me and then at Samantha and Abby.

‘S...stay with Samantha and Abby?’ I whispered.

There was silence for a moment and Samantha came over and knelt down before me.

‘Why us?’ she said quietly.

‘B...b...because you are kind and nice and I...I can’t explain it.’

She looked at me and smiled then she looked around at Abby, who nodded slightly.

‘We’ll see what we can do.’

She squeezed my shoulder and then stood up.

‘Right we know what Hannah wants and both Abby and I would love to look after her until this is all sorted out. So what is the plan of action?’

‘I’ll ring the police and tell them that Joseph has been found,’ said Katie , ‘They only know her by that name, I will also tell them that there has been an attempted assault by this Mike Parminter; as far as I am concerned, what he did and what he obviously intended to do may form grounds for prosecution. Proving it might be difficult, but at least he would be under investigation by the police and the social services and that will have to do for now.’

Jocasta spoke up.

‘I’ll speak to social services; I have a senior case officers home number, I think that they will allow her to stay where she is at least until the mess is sorted out. If she cuts up rough though, then I am sure that Hannah can notionally stay with me, on paper anyway; although in practice, I will stretch the point and hope no one comes calling and asking for her.’

‘You telling fibs, Jocasta?’ said Abby smiling, ‘and you a vicars wife too!’

‘God moves in mysterious ways...’

The all laughed, but it was a bit over my head, to be honest. As Sarah shrugged her shoulders and made a loopy motion with a finger against the side of her head, I think that she felt the same too.

‘If anyone cuts up rough, let me know and I’ll give ‘em a flee in their ear,’ said Lady F.

More was said for a bit and I sort of zoned out. It was all a bit much for me. I had been through a lot in a short space of time. I shut my eyes for a bit...

‘Hannah,’

I was being shaken gently by the shoulder.

I opened my eyes and realised that I was lying down, with my head on Lady Fairbairn’s lap!

I struggled up.

‘Sorry,’ I said to her, my face getting hot with embarrassment.

‘’No problem– tired, bound ter be.’ She was smiling and it made her look ten years younger.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around.

‘Where is everyone?’

‘Doin’ stuff. Abby is looking after Heather and Gabi...’

‘Gabi?’

‘Yes, their other sprog–nice little thing, I’m her God Mother.’

‘I thought that it was just Samantha, Heather and Abby.’

‘No Gabrielle was born earlier in the year. Wasn’t at church last night ‘cos she had the snuffles and she stayed with her Aunt Dawn overnight. Nice woman, but a bit modern in her dress for my taste.’

Just then Samantha came in.

‘Feeling better?’

‘Yes thanks,’ I replied.

‘Good; right the troops have been mobilised and the phones are humming. Things will be sorted out in two shakes. Now, would you like to come with me?’

I stood up and then on an impulse I bent over and kissed Lady Fairbairn on the cheek.

‘Thank you for being nice,’ I said.

‘Never mind that nonsense. Push orf and get sorted out.’

She said it in a gruff voice, but the smile that played on her lips and the glistening eye told me that her bark was definitely worse than her bite.

Samantha took my hand and that was nice, as she led me through the cottage and up the stairs. She turned right at the end and walked along the corridor until we reached the room at the end. This place was definitely bigger than I thought and I wondered if this place was some sort of TARDIS.

She opened the door and ushered me in. It was a bedroom and sitting on a chair by the window was Doctor Marcia.

‘Hello Hannah.’

‘H...hello.’ I replied.

‘Sam, can you leave us alone for a minute?’

‘Sure. Heather, Marcia wants to ask you a few questions and then I’ll be back. Will you be okay?’

‘Mmm.’ I said, not sure if I would be, but these kind people were trying to help me–I hoped.

With a smile, she left the room and closed the door quietly behind us.

‘Sit on the bed if you like dear.’

I did as I was told and waited.

‘Right love, you know that I’m a doctor?’

I nodded.

‘Well it would help us to know exactly how you feel and although it might hurt a bit, we need to discuss what happened back at the home. Would that be all right?’

I nodded again.

‘Also, I need to give you an examination, would you mind?’

‘W...will it hurt?’ I asked.

She laughed; it was a nice one.

‘No honey, it won’t but would you mind taking all your clothes off? I would normally do this at the surgery, but I think it best to keep all this under wraps at that moment until we get things sorted. It’s lucky I brought my bag. Would you like to have someone else present, Samantha or Abby perhaps?’

‘No, that’s all right.’

‘Okay, when you’re ready, we’ll get started.’

I slowly undressed while the doctor started writing things on a clip board.

‘R...ready,’ I said, trying to cover up my hated boy bits.

‘No need to be shy dear. I have seen more naked people than you have had hot dinners. Let’s get started.’

I won’t go through the details, but she was thorough and a bit uncomfortable at times. Then she took my temperature, blood pressure and half an armful of blood and then she asked me to put on the pink silky dressing gown that had been on the back of the door.

I felt better once I had some clothes on again. I was very conscious of my body and the bits that in particular I didn’t want. I had always been a bit shy and all this attention was doing things to my head.

‘Well you seem to be fairly healthy but underdeveloped. The blood work will help me to find out if there are any issues. The problems you have regarding incontinence needs to be sorted out and I will be referring you to a urology specialist that I know. How many times a day do you wee?’

‘Lots.’ I said ruefully.

‘Right, take this sheet and if you can, log the amount of times you need to go and also how much fluid that you are taking in. have you filled one of these things out before?’

‘No.’

‘You haven’t; weren’t you ever asked to do this?’

‘No, but as I have had several doctors, maybe they didn’t realise.’

‘Sorry love, that doesn’t wash. It isn’t your fault, but it looks like there have been some errors in procedure here. However what they have done should be on your medical records. There are things that can be done to help in a lot of cases. I would like to see your medical notes soon and I will contact your present doctor to see what treatment and surgery was performed first. Enough of that now; come and sit down again so that we can have a chat.’

I sat on the bed again.

‘So Hannah, tell me when you first realised that you were a girl...’

I told her all about my infancy and growing up; how I felt different from other ‘boys’ ; how nobody would listen, including the shrink that I had been sent to see. She frowned when I told her about him and looked quite angry. I also mentioned the fact that I never seemed to fit in with the other kids at the homes that I lived in. The boys thought I was a sissy and the girls, apart from one or two, thought me strange.

Then we moved on to Mike and what he had done.

‘Did he touch you?’ she asked gently.

‘No, not then, but remembering back, he often had his arm around my shoulder when he talked to me or if I was sitting down, my knee. When I passed in the corridor say, he would brush past me rather heavily, I suppose. The thing that made me really frightened was the strange looks that he gave me sometimes.’

‘I see and on that final day, when you were late back and everyone had gone to the cinema?’

‘As I said to Samantha, h...he had me dress in girls clothes to ‘see what I looked like’ they weren’t nice clothes and didn’t suit me. They were what, erm–well, on the TV once, I saw a documentary about erm, prostitution. I shouldn’t have done, but I was being fostered out at the time and the parents were in another room. They had a camera on some street in Birmingham and there were girls there with very short skirts and tops that revealed a lot. That was the type of thing that he wanted me to wear.’

I shuddered at the thought.

‘Go on.’

‘Then the others came back and he told me to change into my normal boys clothes, say nothing about it and that we would have other times when I could show him more about my being a girl. His face couldn’t disguise the...the...’

I broke down then and Marcia came over and gave me a well needed hug.

‘There, there, dear; I had to hear it from you and not second hand. Don’t think about it anymore. I need to write up a report about all this and it’s important that we get the facts down.’

‘Was I naughty to run away and should I have spoken to Laura Parminter about it?’ I sniffed.

She was silent for a moment as, still in a hug, she stroked my hair.

‘You wasn’t naughty, you were a very brave girl. On reflection, it was probably a good idea that you didn’t approach Laura. It’s a sad fact that some couples have the same, erm, interests. It’s rare but possible. No you did the right thing to run away, but it could have gone badly and you were lucky that you came here and not some city where you might meet some nasty people.’

‘I love it here.’ I said.

‘You’re not the only one. This place is magical. Mind you, you can’t keep a secret here. The grapevine is ten times quicker than the internet, Facebook and Twitter combined!

We both giggled at that and I nearly missed the door knock.

‘Come in, ‘called Marcia.

The door opened and there was Samantha with a small suitcase in her hand.

‘All done; I’ll leave you two gals to get organised while I go and see what’s happening with the troops.’

She gave me a peck on the cheek.

‘See you later honey and don’t worry, we are all on your side.’

‘Thank you for...listening.’

‘That’s all right. I’ll send you a bill in the post–joke!’

I smiled; she was a nice lady and not like the stuffy doctors I had seen before.

As the door closed behind Marcia, Samantha came over and sat by me.

‘How are you love?’

‘Okay; Marcia is nice.’

‘She is. She’s a good friend and a great doctor. Right, let’s get things organised. Jocasta’s kids and Sarah have been raiding their closets and have come up with some clothes for you to wear that will keep you going for a few days, until we get to the shops, anyway. First though, you might need another shower. I know I do after a doctor exam. Would you like one?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Okay, across the hall, second on the left. Everything you need is in there. Whilst you are having your shower, I’ll sort the clothes out and see what there is.

‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t keep saying that.’

‘Sorry.’

‘Or that,’ she laughed, ‘it’s a pleasure. Now hop off and I’ll see you in a minute. Oh, there’s a shower hat in the bathroom, use that as you don’t want to get your hair wet again.’

‘Tha...oops, I nearly said it again!’ I giggled.

She laughed and then turned back to the bed.

I had a quick shower. I was quick, because I was dying to see what clothes I could to wear. It was really strange, up to recently, I had no interest in the clothes I was given to wear, mind you, they were boring boys clothes, so that probably explained it! I recalled the pitiful cache of used and grubby clothes that I had hidden in the cellar at the home and I hoped that these ones were a bit nicer.

Soon I felt clean again and once I had dried myself, I put the dressing gown back on and made my way back to the bedroom.

Samantha was there and she was on her mobile. She looked up as I walked in and smiled.

‘OK Mummy we’ll be there. See you later, byee!’

She disconnected and then looked at me.

‘All clean?’

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘Ooh you are polite. Right, there’s a lot of things on the bed. Choose what you want and then get dressed. A late breakfast is being conjured up by Abby as I speak. Smell that yummy bacon? Anyway, we’ll spend the rest of the morning here and then Mummy Dotty has asked the whole gang over to hers. That is, everyone you saw this morning and their partners, etc. ‘

‘Erm, who’s Mummy Dotty?’

‘Oh, Lady Fairbairn, she’s a real sweetie and has sort of unofficially adopted Abbey and me–or is that Abby and I? Anyway, don’t worry, it’s complicated and if I get a spare three years, I’ll explain how things work here. One thing you should know is that everyone knows everything and there are very few secrets in the cove. The place is full of nutty people and that’s why we all love it. Now, I’m going to help Abby while you decide what to wear. We have to go posh later when we go to Mummy’s, but I am sure we can find something nice for you. See you in a minute–hungry?’

‘Yes,’ I said, almost overpowered by everyone’s kindness.

‘Well, get crackin’ then as Mummy would say!’

She smiled and then left me to decide what I should wear.

I sorted through everything and there was quite a lot to choose from. There were all types and colours of blouses, tops, dresses and jeans together with several pairs of shoes which luckily fitted me and I found it hard to choose. I tried on lots and I was in a state knowing what I should wear. I wasn’t experienced at this and it was almost overpowering that these kind people had given these thing to me to wear. I sat on the bed in the end wearing a nice lavender coloured skirt that went just above my knees. I had two tops in my hands and I couldn’t decide what to wear. It was silly, but I was getting upset over it. I wanted to make a good impression, but I wasn’t experienced at this. I hadn’t had the chance to be...

There was a knock at the door.

‘Come in.’ I said in a small voice.

‘There you are. I’m the reinforcements. Sam said that you may have a few probs getting yourself sorted so here I am, Super Style Girl, come to your rescue. I should have a sort of Super Woman type lycra outfit on, but it’s at the cleaners.’

‘Hello Sarah!’

My heart lifted.

‘Right let’s get you sorted. I’ve seen what you are having for breakfast and I want some of it, so we had better hurry before it all goes.’

‘How did you get here, I thought that you had gone?’

‘No I went to see the Gotobed’s, I had some prezzies to deliver. Mummy treats me like a slave you know. I even have to make my own bed and keep my room tidy. She has tons of servants to do that sort of thing, and my idea is that if I do the bed making and room cleaning thing, I’m doing them out of work and they might get the sack or something, but Mummy doesn’t listen to me. Slave labour, that’s what I call it.’

‘Sarah...’

‘Do you know, I was once a chamber maid there? Well, I did say that I would do it cos I didn’t want to be a burden, but she didn’t need to treat me like a slave.’

‘Sarah.’

‘Do you know, I had to get up at eight in the morning and do chores, Eight, that’s like the middle of the night when you’re not at school...’

‘SARAH!’

‘Eh, oh what?’

I was trying not to laugh but she was funny.

‘What do I wear?’

‘Oh, the one on the left as the one on the right clashes with your hair. You’re coming to ours for lunch; that dress on the back of your door will be brill. It looks lovely and I should know it’s one of mine. I’ve grown out of it and you are a bit smaller than me, but it looks well brilliant on and it will suit your colour...’

She didn’t stop to breathe in as she continued talking as I got dressed. She turned her back as I put my undies on, but once I was dressed she fussed with my hair a bit.

‘Nice hair, you need to have an uber salon experience. We’ll go together; Mummy will pay, she’s mega rich like Sam and Abby and likes to spread it about a bit. They have this charity thing going and they look after underprivileged kids...’

‘Like me?’

‘Well yes, I mean no, well I don’t know, all I do know is that when someone is in trouble they like to help them. What I do know is–and I overheard them accidently, when I opened the door quietly and then listened through the crack–that they think that you are a lovely girl and they would love to keep you, as in permanently. Trouble is that adoption is harder to get than almost anything.’

‘Tell me about it.’

‘Oh yes, well you would know about that wouldn’t you. Anyway, they are sweet on you and as long as you don’t go all Goth or teenage angst with them, they would like to keep you as a pet or something.’

‘Are you nuts?’ I asked.

‘So my therapist keeps telling me. Anyway, all done? Let’s go and grab some grub before it’s all gone!’

We went downstairs. My head was full of what she had told me. I didn’t take much notice of what she said about my staying with Samantha and Abby, as I it was obvious that she didn’t know what was really going on. This was real life and fairytale endings like that just didn’t happen to the likes of me. But I was happy just being able to look as I should–a girl and, at last, I was being treated as one.

As we got nearer the kitchen, I could smell bacon and sausages and also baked bread. If I wasn’t hungry before, I was now and my mouth was watering.

‘Hi girls, come and grab a pew; breakfast is ready,’ said Abby as we arrived like a hungry hoard. She had apron on and was wielding a spatula in a dangerous manner.

Around the kitchen table sat Samantha, and in high chairs were Heather and Gabi, who looked happy as they were fed. These were girls after my own heart with a healthy appetite.

Soon we were tucking into a humungous breakfast and the plate was full of goodies. I had two sausages, several rashers of bacon, an egg, two grilled tomatoes and some mushrooms. In addition to that, there were some lovely, freshly baked rolls and a mug of tea.

For once Sarah was silent as she tucked in and I could see that she was enjoying the feast as much as I was. After the little ones were fed, they were taken out of their high chairs and taken out of the room. We were still concentrating on what we were doing and didn’t take much notice though.

Then Samantha came back in carrying Gabi and following her was a teenager, about sixteen or seventeen I would say, who had Heather in her arms. The girls had been changed into pretty little matching pink dresses and looked adorable.

‘Hannah, this is Sophie our live in help, general dogsbody and au pair. She comes from Cornwall, so technically she’s a foreigner and that’s why she’s classed as an au pair.’

‘Gerr on wiv yer Samantha, bain’t foreign, you be the foreign one, comin’ up from the sticks.’

Abby piped up.

‘I’ll translate; she said that Sam is the foreign one as she came originally from London.’

‘Cor, so I did, lord luv a duck,’ said Samantha in such a serious voice, I wondered if that was her normal voice and then everyone started laughing. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only sane one there!

Then there was a totally weird conversation about smuggling Cornish pasties over the border in the dead of night in exchange for some D.S.C.T’s which at first I thought must have been illegal drugs but found out later meant Devon Scone Cream Teas. I knew then that I had come into somewhere that was seriously strange to say the least.

After both Sarah and I had had our fill, we got down from the table and Abby said that we should go out and get some fresh air and maybe make snow angels. By now the snow lay in a thick blanket everywhere. We were given warm coats and wellie boots, all a bit big for us but we weren’t fussed and outside we went.

The cold air struck cold and I should have had some jeans on, but I couldn’t care less as I ran around with Sarah chasing me and then we did the falling back bit and waved our arms and legs about so the impressions we left in the snow were of quite good angels. It was so nice to play like a normal girl with my new friend!

Then we had to have a snowball fight as according to Sarah, it was obligatory and that lasted for ages as we chased each other around the garden, avoiding the occasional cat and just managing to keep from falling into the duck pond. The ducks weren’t too impressed with us and quacked off somewhere out of harm’s way and the cats; they looked at us with disinterest, as if two girls throwing themselves about like that was perfectly normal.

All this activity made us quite warm in the end, but eventually we went back in took off our coats and wellies.

Sam came into the room then and she looked a bit serious.

My heart went thump.

‘The police have phoned and they are sending a car for you. They want you down at the station to make a statement.’

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘Laura Parminter, your house mum has been attacked and is in a coma in hospital and her husband Mike has gone missing. They think that you may have something to do with it.’

Part 5 soon.

Please leave comments and kudo thingies...thanks! ~Sue

If you are enjoying this story, The original Penmarris story - Changes Book 1 is now available on Kindle:

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changes-ebook/dp/B006NZFWG8/ref=sr_1... (UK)

The car came about twenty minutes later and I got in the back with Samantha. Abby stayed with the babies. She had given me a lovely hug and told me not to worry.

Samantha had told me that Katie would be at the station when we got there and there was no question of my being in trouble. It was only information that the police were after.

It didn’t make me feel much better as I sat there and watched us leave the lovely cove on the way to Tavistock Police Station.

I was still wearing a skirt and blouse, together with a warm fleecy jacket. The police woman who came for me, leaving the driver in the car, didn’t show any signs of surprise that I was in girl mode so I assumed that she had been told beforehand of my change of status.

We went along several undulating lanes with high hedges on each side. The roads were a bit slippery and the policeman, who was driving, didn’t say much. I wondered if he approved of me. Not like the police woman sat next to him, who was quite chatty and had said how pretty I was and this was all a bit of a pain but it was best that this sort of thing is done at the station and it shouldn’t take long...

I was already missing Penmarris and strangely, that place felt more like home than anywhere else that I had lived–it must have been something in the water, or more likely, the lovely, kind, wonderful people that lived there.

Sarah I had left with Abby and the others–she wanted to come along but wasn’t allowed to. She threw a minor strop, but in the end just gave me a big hug and told me to text here soon as I could. I think that she overlooked the fact that I didn’t have a mobile phone, but I let it go.

We were up on the edge of the moors now and it was breathtakingly beautiful. If I hadn’t been so worried about where I was going, it would have been even better. The hills were covered in snow and any harshness on the moor was blanketed in white. One hill we passed had lots of kids on it tobogganing down on whatever they had to hand, in one case a dustbin lid. One or two had skis, but I think that was just showing off. I would have loved to have been with them as I had never been able or have the opportunity to do things like that.
Soon we were in Tavistock and we parked at the back of the police station and the woman policeman led the way.

We were taken to an interview room and Katie was already there, drinking a cup of tea. The policewoman went off to get us some drinks as we all waited for things to happen. Now we had got there, I wondered why we were kept waiting around.

Katie gave us an update.

‘I don’t know much more than you; Laura evidently was in a coma and the last I heard though, was that she was showing signs of coming out of it. You aren’t in any trouble though and Jocasta has spoken to the S.S...’

‘S.S?’ I asked.

‘Social Services dear, and they are happy for you to stay in a safe environment until things are sorted out. Normally there would be all sorts of vetting procedures and red tape, but Sam and Abby are known to them and Lady F, made sure that she had spoken to someone at the top and somehow what objections there were, were overruled. I don’t know how she does it but I’m glad that she’s on our side!’

So was I. I knew that she was a sweet lady, as everything she had said to me and her actions toward me was great and full of kindness. I wished that I had a grandma like her. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be an enemy or someone she didn’t like. That tongue of hers was a lethal weapon.

The door opened and a man came in. Behind him was the police woman who had come to collect us.

We all sat down. He was middle aged with a full head of dark hair, slightly overweight, but seemed pleasant enough.

‘Right, sorry to keep you all waiting. Erm, Joseph?’

‘Hannah,’ I said.

He shook his head.

‘Sorry, it’s been one of those days. I am Chief Inspector Grant. I’ve just had an update on Laura Parminter; she’s coming around and starting to respond; which is great because if it had been a deep coma, she might not have come out at all, let alone so quickly. OK Hannah, tell me all about the reasons why you decided to run away.’

I took a deep breath and recounted my experiences. At first it was hard to talk about it and I started to choke up, but once I got over the initial nastiness, I more or less told him the same as I had told the others.

Of course that started me off, waterworks wise and I was so glad that I had Samantha with me to hold my hand and help me through it.

Whilst Samantha was helping me get my act together, Katie was talking quietly to the chief inspector and the policewoman was writing up some notes.

When I felt better the policeman continued.

‘So you came back to the home and he was waiting for you?’

‘Yes,’

‘Then he made you dress up?’

‘Yes, I told you.’

‘I don’t disbelieve you. I just want to get the fact correct and not miss anything that might give us a clue to this man’s actions. He didn’t make any inappropriate advances?’

‘Sorry?’

He looked a bit embarrassed.

He looked at the policewoman.

‘Smith, it might be better coming from you.’

The policewoman came over to me and knelt down beside me so her eyes were level with mine.

She smiled.

‘Men eh?’

Her eyes went heavenward and I giggled.

The chief inspector coughed.

‘Sorry sir,’ she said with a grin and then continued.

‘I’m Mandy, by the way. Now what we need to know is, did he do anything to you physically that made you feel uncomfortable.’

‘Not then, but he often brushed up against me or gave me hugs and things or held me around the shoulders–things that would seem OK to anyone looking, but it made me feel as if h...he liked doing it. Do you know what I mean?’

‘Yes dear, I know exactly what you mean.’
‘When he had me dress up, the look on his face was strange, almost hungry. It made me shiver and not feel safe.’

‘So you felt that he might do something nasty to you, if you stayed?’

I nodded.

It went on for a while longer and under Mandy’s gentle prompting, I was able to tell them exactly how I felt at the time.

Eventually another policeman came in and whispered something in the chief inspectors ear. He nodded and stood up.

‘Well thank you all and in particular you Hannah for coming in on Christmas Day to help us sort this out. We have a statement for you to sign and then you can go and enjoy the rest of the day. We will find this erm, gentleman and make sure that no other child is put in danger. Just to let you know that we have now had a statement from Mrs Parminter and although she’s still a bit foggy and confused, she evidently caught him out from things she found on his laptop. It appears that he contacted the police and social services late last night when he found out that you were missing and you had left a note. That was a big mistake’

‘What’s the connection between Hannah leaving and the laptop?’ asked Katie.

‘When he went off to answer the phone he left his laptop on. Laura was passing, noticed something strange on the screen and saw that it was child pornography. Normally, Mike’s laptop was password protected and she hadn’t seen any of this, but she had a quick look around and did a search of pictures and came up with all sorts of nasties. She thinks that he was trying to delete the pictures as she thought that Hannah could spill the beans on him–she had suspicions about him but had never caught him in the act. She had been on the point of confronting him with those suspicions when you disappeared Hannah, making her feel that he might have been the cause of your going. That was when Mike walked back in the room, saw what she was doing and attacked her.’

‘Is she badly hurt?’ I asked.

‘Hairline fracture of the skull, broken nose, two ribs and an arm broken and quite a few bruises too.’

‘Oh.’ I said.

Laura had been nice to me.

We left Katie at the police station, as she had brought her own car. We would be seeing her later at Lady Fairbairn’s. We arrived back at the cottage an hour later and after saying goodbye to Mandy and her silent partner we went inside.

Abby came out of the kitchen as we came in, she had a baby’s bottle in her hand.

‘How did it go?’ she asked.

‘Fine,’ said Samantha, I’ll tell you about it later. How long have we got to get ready?

‘About an hour and a half. Mummy Dotty is sending over Jenkins with the Roller, so we can both have a drink if we want,’

‘I won’t be having much,’ said Samantha rather emphatically.

Then she turned to me.

‘Well, we had better get cracking. Where are the girls?’ she asked Abby.

‘Gabi is asleep and Heather playing in her pen. Sophie is looking after them.’

‘Where’s Sarah?’ I asked as I struggled out of my coat which was nice but a bit tight on me.

‘She’s gone home to get ready. She said that she would see you later. That girl could talk for England!’

We all laughed.

‘Shall we go up to your bedroom and see what we can find for you to wear?’ asked Samantha.

‘My bedroom?’

‘Yes, you know; a place to sleep. Having a bed in it is a dead giveaway.’

‘So that means I am staying?’

‘Of course, silly, what do you think all this is about?’

‘I thought...’

What I was thinking was that I would be taken away somewhere. I know what they said was that they would look after me while things were being sorted out, but I had had promises before and none of them had ever actually happened. The Children’s Department of the Social Services had never done much for me and I expected a knock on the door at any moment to be told that I was to be moved, again.

Let’s face it; I had been here for about five minutes. These kind people didn’t really know me and I couldn’t believe that they would want me around or make a serious decision about keeping me without knowing whether I had “issues”, as the social worker once called my problems.

There was no point in worrying about it though and I decided to keep quiet and see what happens. If I raise my hopes too high, I would be disappointed.

So I went upstairs to “my” bedroom and I almost forgot my concerns as Samantha enthusiastically helped me to decide what I should wear for Sunday lunch at the Manor.

In the end, it was a no brainer, as Sarah would have said. The dress on the back of the door that she had mentioned was the one. It fitted me like a glove and I loved it–not as much as that lovely red dress that I had seen in that shop yesterday, but a very creditable second.

Before I tried on the dress, Samantha stopped me.

‘Nail polish and makeup first, I think.’

Nail polish and makeup! I had never worn either before and my heart sort of did a fli- flop as I thought about it.

She did my hands first and my nails were soon a lovely shiny pink colour. I had to blow on them for a while to get them to dry. The smell was funny and I almost sneezed, but it was something that I could definitely get used to!

Then she had me sit by the dresser, facing her.

‘Right, close your eyes and let me make you even prettier. Not much makeup, as Mummy Dotty frowns on young gels with makeup plastered all over their faces!

Mummy Dotty I took to be Lady Fairbairn. I wondered if she knew that she was called that?

She worked on my face for ages and I could feel the lotions and potions being applied. Then she spent some time doing things with my eyes and then finished off by putting something slightly strawberry flavoured on my lips.

‘Don’t lick, you’ll wash it off.’

I giggled at that and wriggled about as I was dying to see myself in the mirror.

‘All finished but don’t turn around. I want you to be properly dressed before you take a peek.’

I stepped into the dress and Samantha zipped me up. The dress was so nice. It was a cream silk, strappy one that went down to just below my knees. It had a delicate glittery netting overlay that made the dress sparkle slightly as I moved. It also had a sewn in net petticoat and would make it stand out slightly. It was lovely and I wondered what I looked like in the mirror, but Samantha was doing something with my hair and I wasn’t allowed to see myself. She then looked at me and frowned.

‘What,’ I asked, worried that I looked too boyish.

‘Your hair looks nice, but you need–hang on.’

She went out of the room and I spent the time putting on the shiny, low heeled black shoes that went so well with the dress and trying desperately not to look in the mirror. I had been given some very fine nude tights to wear and I had to be very careful not to snag them as I put the shoes on.

Samantha came back; she had a few things in her hand.

‘Turn around,’ she said.

She put a fine chain around my neck with a tiny gold cross, it was lovely, and then she put some clip-on earrings on me; small with a single pearl on each. She had a gold charm bracelet that had a tiny lock and number of charms and she helped me put that on too. Then the final item was a creamy silk headband with a small matching silk flower on the side. She seemed to hesitate.

‘You don’t have to wear this. I know that you are thirteen and it might be a bit young for you, but I think that it would look nice.’

I looked at it and smiled. I looked about eleven; I knew that, so it wouldn’t look really out of place.

I looked at her.

‘I...I didn’t have a chance to wear pretty things as I grew up and I would love to wear it please!’

She carefully put it on my head, rearranged my hair a bit, stepped back and nodded.

‘You’ll do; would you like to look at yourself?’

‘Yes please.’

‘Go on then.’

I turned around and for a second I didn’t recognise myself. It was me and yet it wasn’t. Staring at me was this pretty girl in a wonderful dress, light, flawless makeup, lovely hair that seemed longer and fuller than before, and with the silk headband and jewellery to complete the picture.

‘Oh.’ I said, drawing in my breath.

‘Do you like it?’

‘Oh, I...I...I love it Mummy–oh sorry, I shouldn’t have said that!’

My hands with the lovely nails came up to my face as I realised what I had said. My eyes smarted with tears.

‘Now don’t you start crying, you’ll ruin your makeup. It was just a slip of the tongue. Anyway, I am your temporary Mummy and so is Abby while we look after you as foster mums so don’t think anymore about it.’

She took my hand and then gave me little hug.

‘I think that you look very pretty. I can’t see much Joseph in there; is he gone?’

‘Yes, he was never there really.’

My heart rate slowly came back to normal as I realised that I hadn’t blown it. The last thing I wanted was to make her angry or upset with me.

After a few moments while my makeup was repaired, we were ready to go. The dress came with a matching mesh bolero which I carefully put on with Samantha’s help. It looked so pretty and went really well with the dress. I also had a shoulder bag that was white and Samantha put some makeup I it and tissues–just I case.

As I went downstairs, I felt like a princess with my dress swishing against my legs and my hair just brushing on my shoulders. I was so glad that I resisted having it cut.

Abby, Sophie and the girls were waiting for us and Abby gave a real smile of pleasure when she saw me.

‘Wow, you look wonderful,’ she said.

‘Cool,’ said Sophie.’

‘Ook,’ said Heather.

Gabi just blew bubbles and giggled.

There was a knock on the door and Abby answered.

There was a man there in what looked like a chauffeur’s uniform.’

‘Hi Jenkins,’ said Abby, ‘Not butlering today?’

‘Yes Miss Abby, later, but Chauffeur is visiting his parents in Perth and I said that I would be happy to stand in for today.’

I put my coat carefully on and then I was ready for the winter weather outside.

We all went down the path. With my shoes I had to be very careful and I clung on to Samantha for dear life to stop myself from falling. The others had boots on and were carrying their shoes, but there were no boots to fit me so I had to make do. Abby had to shoo some cats away on the path, who evidently wanted to come with us but didn’t have invites.

Soon I was in the posh car with the others. It was whisper quiet as it negotiated the lanes, seemingly impervious to slips and slides in the snow and as we went along, I was able to see the village to its best advantage. Through gaps, I could see the cove, the beaches and quay, the cliffs on either side and other landmarks. A few hardy souls were out on the beach walking dogs and children in the crisp, clean, winter air.

The huge yacht was still parked on the other side of the harbour wall.

‘That yacht is still parked over there,’ I said to Abby.

She looked where I pointed.

‘You mean moored dear,’

‘Oh right. I wonder why it’s there.’

‘Because the captain put it there.’

‘Do you know him?’

‘Yes.’

‘Have you ever been on there?’

‘Of course.’

‘Sorry?’

‘Well, we own the yacht, dear.’

‘Blimey–oops.’

They all laughed but wouldn’t elaborate. They were real jokers, weren’t they? There was more going on here than I thought!

The house was huge; well I suppose it was a mansion really. It seemed to take ages for us to go from the wrought iron gates to the mansion. The gardens were lovely and had evidently been designed by some old chap strangely called Capability Brown—weird name that.

The lawns though had strange mounds of earth dotted about and I wondered why.

‘What are those?’ I asked Samantha.

Sophie giggled, the girls giggled because Sophie did. Jenkins coughed discreetly and Samantha and Abby grinned.

‘Moles,’ said Samantha.

‘Oh,’ I said, not knowing again what the joke was and I wondered what was so funny about moles.

We arrived at the mansion, tyres crunching on the gravel and stopped.

For some reason we weren’t allowed to open the car doors and Jenkins did it for us. Now that is what I call arriving in style.

Sarah came bounding down the steps and came over. She had her hair up and looked lovely. Her party dress–a lemon coloured mid calf, shoulder strappy whisper of fabric that seemed to float around her–was gorgeous. I still liked my dress, but wouldn’t have minded trying on hers!

As soon as she saw me, she squealed and started talking nineteen to the dozen.

‘Hi Sam, Abby, Soph, Sprogettes. Gosh Hannah you look ace. Love the dress, hair, wow, makeup looks really cool. I wanted to slap more on but Mummy said if I wanted to look like a clown she’d send me to the circus. Come on Hannah, I’ll show you my room while the olds have some yucky sherry. I have some wicked ginger beer in my room and I want to show you my super new iPad.’

‘Not so much of the “old”’, said Samantha.

‘Sorry Sam, you are quite young I suppose. Come on Hannah, we don’t have much time before the turkey and trimmings.’

She pulled me by the hand and with a departing wave to the others; I was sucked in through the massive double doors and rushed upstairs, down a few corridors and into a large airy bedroom that overlooked the park with mole holes.

‘Wowie,’ I said, ‘great bedroom!’

‘Yea, not bad is it. Mummy lets me have it the way I want it which, of course, very girlie.’

There was pink and pastels on the walls, some nice bright modern furniture and a row of dolls and teddy’s on a shelf not forgetting two dolls on the pink covers of the bed. The carpet was an oatmeal colour and was deep piled. She had a plasma screen on the wall, a computer in the corner and what looked like an expensive stereo system in another corner.

To the left there was a door which was partially open and that led into the en suite. To the right was a walk in wardrobe and I could just see some hangers with lots of dresses.

‘Come and see this!’ she said, walking over to the computer table. On it was her iPad.

‘Crimbo pres from Mummy; cool or what?’

‘Great,’ I said smiling.

‘Of course, I was told that all I deserved was a nut, an apple and an orange for Christmas as I was never a very good girl, but I flashed my eyelashes at Mummy, looked a bit pathetic and she then was putty in my hands.’

Just then I heard a gunshot outside and I jumped.

Sarah ignored it and kept playing with her new toy.

‘What was that?’ I asked.

‘What, oh the gun thing; oh just Mummy taking a pot-shot at a mole. She always misses. Says she’s a hotshot, but to be honest she couldn’t hit a barn door at ten feet.’

Just then, there was a bonging noise.

‘Ooh, grub up!’ said Sarah enthusiastically. ‘Need to use the loo?’

‘Yes please,’

I went to do my stuff and then we went downstairs.

The place was so large; I think that I would need a satnav to find my way around it. Sarah, being one of the inmates didn’t seem to have a problem though and in a very few minutes we arrived at a door–make that double doors. A person in a uniform was standing outside and opened it for us.

I wondered how many people it took to run a place like this. The windows alone would keep someone occupied for ever, a bit like the Forth Bridge being painted. Start one end and by the time you’ve finished you have to start again.

The doors were opened and we walked in.

“Wow” wouldn’t do it justice; “cor” wouldn’t come close; “ee by gum” as they say oop north, would fall well short of the needed expression.

I of course not being eloquent and lacking the verbal whatsit just said ‘eek!’ and left it at that.

The room was huge–evidently it was the one used when royalty popped around for a quick ball. The walls were full of paintings that didn’t fall off the back of a lorry or bought from IKEA. The ceiling was covered in art–I had seen the Sistine Chapel once, in a photo or on TV and this was similar, with God, angels with wings, the odd cherub and assorted supporting cast plastered all over it. It must have been hard using long brushes to paint that ceiling and I bet a pound to a penny, no one went up there to dust.

Coming back down to earth, the floor was covered in packet flooring or whatever it’s called. I went a school once that had that type of floor and the kids put their jumpers on the floor took a run and then when their feet landed on the jumpers, they would see how far they skidded. For some reason this was frowned upon by the teachers and in particular the caretaker. I, of course, on the one and only occasion that I dared to try it, fell base over apex and bruised my coccyx.

Anyway, the main thing or things that really caught my attention was or is that were, the table and the decorations.

By the fireplace was a huge tree, it was lit up like erm, a Christmas tree and was covered with baubles and bangles, tinsel and things that sparkled. On top was an angel and that was lit up to. It was a magical tree and I loved it. At the base was a whole pile of presents of all shapes and sizes and by that, in front of the fire was a dog, sitting there like some sort of statue. He looked quite haughty and aloof as he or she sat at attention, or that’s what it seemed.

‘That’s Fifi,’ whispered Sarah.

Looking up above the fireplace was a painting and I could instantly see that the picture was of Fifi, but it looked to me like Fifi with her hair down–slightly, the artist had caught her at the right moment and I wondered which Fifi was the real one; Fifi, the aloof or Fifi, the almost party girl?

Then there was the table. It extended down the room with more place settings than I could count. The Christmas themed centre pieces were colourful and based around holly and ivy. There were silver candlesticks dotted at regular intervals and all the candles were lit. The cutlery shone silverly, if that’s a word and glasses gleamed and shone in the glow of the three, yes three candelabra’s .

All in all the whole room looked magical and I had never seen anything quite like it. The room was full of people and it was only the wonder of the room that stopped me feeling painfully shy. Once I realised that I was being looked at, of course I went red in the face and wondered if I could hide my head in the sand or at least in one of the aspidistra pots.

Of course I didn’t have time for that as lots of people came up and said hello. Some I recognised from earlier in the day and others I had never met before, but everyone was so kind and friendly that I was soon put at my ease.

Dinner was served and I was at the end with Sarah and other younger people. Lady Fairbairn was at the head of the table and she looked lovely in an electric blue satin dress. I was pleased to see that she wasn’t wearing a hat and I could see no sign of a dead animal on her. I half expected a moles head or something, so that was a relief.

Before I was dragged off by Sarah, Samantha came over, gave me a hug and whispered,’ have a nice time. If it all gets too much, let me know. They are all nice people and they are all on your side. You have nothing to worry about here.’

As I sat down, I was given no chance to be a wall flower, Motor mouth started straight away.

‘Right listen up you lot; this is Hannah; she’s so pretty in that dress that I almost hate her. Not that I’m the jealous kind. Anyway, Hannah, this is Phillipa, Jennifer, Sophie you know, Tracy, Tammy and Bethany. We should all have badges, but as we now all know each other its pointless...’

‘Sarah?’ asked Bethany, I think.

‘What?’

‘Have you taken your pills today, the ones that make you slow down?’

‘Are you suggesting I’m hypo?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh well, right. I’ll just sit here and zip my lip.’

She did a zipping motion with her lips and I smiled, she was a character.

‘Everyone was wearing pretty dresses and I could see that they were all good friends despite the differences I ages. Pippa and Jen as they liked to be called though, seemed to like arguing a bit and I put that down to the fact that they were sisters.

Sarah couldn’t keep quiet for more than five seconds before she was off again.

‘So as I was saying we are all friends here, despite what some people say about my talking too much. By the way don’t ask Jen or Pippa about their ponies, we’d be here all night. Tracy is mad keen on painting like Samantha, so she can be boring sometimes too...’

‘Samantha paints?’

‘Oh yes, that painting of Fifi over the fireplace is one of hers.’

‘ I thought that she just managed to gallery.’

‘Half the paintings in there are hers and she owns the gallery. Just like Abby owns the pottery and all the stuff in there she pots or whatever it’s called.’

I laughed.

‘What’s so funny?’ asked Tracy.

‘I wonder what else they run. Abby told me that she owns that huge great yacht in the harbour. Funny joke that...’

‘They do own it, well Sam does and what’s Sam’s is Abby’s and vicky-verky,’ said Pippa.

‘Blimey!’ I said and they all laughed.

The food was wonderful and served by erm, servants. There were almost as many people serving the food as those sitting down eating it. It was lovely and I could honestly say that I had never eaten better. The turkey made the ones that I had had in the various homes look positively disgusting. I won’t describe the food as it’s beyond description, you had to be there. The adults all drank wine except–when I looked up at Samantha and she finger waved back– I saw that she was drinking the same as us, ginger beer; mind you that was strong stuff and Sarah said that it was good at stripping paint off wood too.

In a lull, I asked Sophie where the little ones were.

‘The adults are taking turns looking after the babies and tiddlers.’ She said.

I noticed that she had dropped the more broad Cornish for a more intelligible language. I was glad of that as I don’t speak Cornish or Devonish for that matter, though a few of the older people up the other end of the table seemed to have quite broad language and I could hear a smattering of “eee’s ooh’s” and”aarhrs”.

After the dinner, there was desert. I had Christmas pudding and nearly lost a tooth when I bit down on a pound coin covered in tin foil. Others had coins, so I wasn’t the only lucky one.

Eventually the meal finished and we all got up and moved down the end of the room as the table was cleared and then put to the side.

From nowhere came a string quartet and it played away in the corner while everyone mingled. It wasn’t exactly head banging heavy metal, but it was nice and gentle background music. Let’s face it, this wasn’t a disco night sort of event.

I was spoken to by many adults and Sarah stuck to me like limpet mine, telling me information about the people and juicy titbits that she thought I might need to know about them. Her opinion was that she was the only sane one there. I didn’t contradict her as I didn’t want to seem argumentative and anyway, a girl needs to have some delusions.

Either Samantha or Abby regularly came over and asked how I was or just to give me a squeeze on the shoulder or hug. It was so nice that they cared enough to want to make sure that I was all right.

Eventually the room hushed and standing in front of the fireplace where embers burned and gave the whole room a nice warm feeling, stood Lady Fairbairn. She was to give her annual brief speech.

‘Thank you all for comin’. It’s been good ter see so many friends. The world outside might be goin’ ter the dogs–sorry Fifi–but at least in Penmarris, we know how ter do things in style. I blame the E.U. or Common Market, Thatcher, Wilson and the present lot of lily livered morons. Enough of that, I hope that you are enjoyin yerself. Now Sarah, where are yer?’

Sarah left my side and walked over to her mother, her heels clicking on the wooden flooring.

‘Right, over to you.’

Sarah, who like the rest of us had a drink in her hand, coughed and spoke up.

‘My mother and I would like to wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.’

She raised her glass and we all drank to the toast.

‘Here, here!’

‘Right; you and few of your friends sort out the prezies,’ said Lady F ‘The rest of yer grab a drink and mingle. Fifi, put that cracker down!’

I stood by Samantha and she held my hand as presents were handed out. This was a normal thing at one of Lady F’s parties and tradition was that you didn’t open the present until you arrived home. I was surprised that I received one as Sarah came over grinning from ear to ear.

‘Happy Christmas, Hannah!’

We left shortly after that as I was tired and Samantha and Abby needed to get the little ones to bed. Sophie stayed at the party and would be getting a taxi home later but we were given the five star treatment by Jenkins again who seemed to enjoy driving the car and getting out of the washing up.

After a goodbye hug, I promised to speak to Sarah the next day and looked forward to seeing my slightly mad new friend.

I fell asleep on the way back, but not before I saw all the lights in the trees and outside the cottages and houses that lined the cove. It was all a bit magical and like a fairyland. Eventually though, my eyes closed and I didn’t wake up until we arrived home.

‘Home– that was a nice way of putting it. Well it was my home for a little while and would make the most of it while I could.

Heather and Gabi were fast asleep as they were carried inside the cottage. Cats came up and said hello before sloping off to feed or find a nice warm comfortable spot somewhere. I sat in the sitting room as Samantha and Abby put the girls to bed. I had woken up a bit after my brief sleep and I wondered what my present was. I didn’t want to open it until the others came in, as they had one each too.

I sat watching the fire. The glow of the logs was nice and comforting as were the lights on the tree winking on and off in some sort of pattern that I couldn’t work out.

It seemed unbelievable to me, the things that had happened in a just a few days. I had had an awful time of it up until I arrived at Penmarris. It was a wonderful cove and my urge to come to this lovely place, to me had been fully justified. If you said to me that I would be spending this Christmas here among people who really liked me; people full of love and care, I would have laughed.

But it was all true, I was here. I nearly pinched myself, wondering if I was in a dream and then a little ginger tom came up onto my lap and plonked himself down on me. His purr was loud and he then proceeded to lick my hand with a scratchy tongue. He was happy I was here too, it seemed.

Just then Abby and Samantha came in and sat down.

‘Did you have a nice time?’ asked Abby.

‘It was great, everyone was very nice and I didn’t have a chance to be too shy.’

‘Yes, they are a nice set of people,’ said Samantha, ‘I thought that you might be overwhelmed by all the new faces, but you did seem to enjoy yourself. Right shall we open those presents? Hannah, dump Cedric on the floor, he would be on your lap all night given the chance.’

I did I was told and I don’t think that Cedric would hold it against me.

The others picked up their present and I did the same. It was a long flat package in a shallow box.

The others opened theirs first.

Samantha had a necklace and earring set and Abby had a watch. I could see that they were pleased with their present.

‘Open yours love.’ said Samantha.

I slowly tore wrapping off and lifted the lid. I gasped as inside was a lovely pale pink satin nightdress. It was long and felt like liquid in my hands. It was beautiful!

‘I know what one young girl is wearing to bed tonight,’ said Abby, smiling.

Samantha got up, went over to the tree; took something from the base and walked over to me. It was another present!

‘Here you are dear, Happy Christmas.

I took the long box and after putting the nightdress carefully back in it’s box and placing it on the floor, I placed the one Samantha gave me on my lap.

‘Ooh you shouldn’t have. I haven’t bought you...’

‘Never mind that, we want you to have it. Well are you going to open it?’

I looked at them both. They were like me, almost getting as much pleasure from watching others unwrapping as receiving them.

I undid the bow, moved the ribbon out of the way. With a pink covered fingernail, I slid it under the paper and removed the gaily painted wrapping.

It was another box, similar to the other one, but much bigger.

I lifted the lid and inside–was the dress. It was the one that I loved in the shop when Samantha came in!

‘H...how?’

‘How was I able to get it for you? Well, it’s easy when you know everyone!’

I wanted to try it on. I was so excited, but it was late and I wanted something to look forward to the next day and so I reluctantly and carefully put it back in its box and then I went to Samantha and Abby and gave them a big hug and a kiss.

‘Thank you so much for making this Christmas so special.’

‘That’s all right love, said Samantha, ‘you are a special person and special people deserve a Happy Christmas!’

It took a while to get ready for bed. I had to take off my makeup and that took a while. Then I shook out my new special dress and hung it up carefully in the wardrobe. The other things I folded and left on the chair and the dress that I had worn, was on the hook on the back of the drawer.

After washing and everything, I slid on my new nightdress. It felt and looked wonderful.

There was a knock on the door.

‘Come in,’ I called.

The door opened and Samantha was there.

You look pretty,’ she said smiling.

‘I feel pretty,’ I said, giving her a twirl.

‘Sit at the dresser and I’ll brush your hair,’ she said.

As she brushed my hair, I loved the feel of the brush and the gentle strokes. This was what I should have had when I was young but I had never had the chance. Someone to love and care for me was all I was after. Was I asking too much?

I didn’t know the answer to that, but I was happy that at least this Christmas my dream had come true.

Abby came in after a bit and I got into bed. They both came over and kissed me goodnight.

‘Thank you for having me and being so nice.’ I said.

‘It’s been nice for us too. Let’s hope that this is just the beginning,’ said Abby.

‘Oh, I know that they will come and get me soon, but I’ll never forget the wonderful time you have given me.’

Abby looked at Samantha and nodded slightly.

Samantha sat on the bed and took my hand.

‘Do you like it here?’ she asked.

‘Oh yes.’ I said.

‘Would you like to stay here, if we can wangle it?’

‘More than anything.’

‘Well, with Abby, me, Dotty Fairbairn and a large chunk of the cove behind us, do you think that we’d let a small thing like red tape get in the way? If you want to be with us and be part of our family, then we would love to have you.’

‘But you don’t really know me.’

‘For that matter, you don’t really know us, but you have a nice feeling about us and we have a nice feeling about you. Would you like to give it a try?’

‘Yes please!’

‘It might take a while and we may have to go through a number of hoops, but I am sure that we can sort this all out given time. But for now young lady, it’s time for sleep. Tomorrow you can try on your dress, but we have a problem, you need shoes, a bag and other accessories, so we will have to go shopping. Are you up for that?’

‘Oh yes! I replied enthusiastically. ‘but the roads might still be bad.’

‘That’s no problem, the weather is going to be clear, cold but with sunny skies. We’ll get Brian to warm up the copter and he can get us there in style.’

‘Copter?’

‘Yes, helicopter.’

‘You have one of those?’

‘Yes.’

‘Erm, that yacht, the big one. Abby, you said that it’s yours.’

‘That’s right dear,’

‘Blimey!’

They both laughed and then after another kiss they left me to sleep.

The door quietly closed and I shut my eyes. Everything was going around in my head but I was tired. Then I felt a movement and something jumped on my bed and settled down at the side of me. The purring was loud and the lick on the hand was recognisable. Cedric had come to sleep with me. I fell asleep to the gentle purr of the cat and looked forward to the next day and hopefully many more of them in Jellicle Cottage and wonderful Penmarris.

The Penmarris gang will be back in thew new year! Please leave comments and kudo thingies...thanks! ~Sue

If you are enjoying this story, The original Penmarris story - Changes Book 1 is now available on Kindle:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006NZFWG8 (US)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Changes-ebook/dp/B006NZFWG8/ref=sr_1... (UK)