Prologue

It was back in nineteen fifty when my mother went into labour on a sheep station in outback Australia, where the only medical help was from the flying doctor service. The pilot had engine trouble and had to land a hundred miles away at another station, and by the time the doctor and nurse arrived by four wheel drive four hours later, my sister had died and I was to face life with half of my soul missing.

My twin sister was buried three days later on the property. She was named Jean, and I was named Carl. I had an older brother John, aged eight, and a sister Margarita, or Rita for short, aged six.

My Mum was a cook for the station homestead, and Dad was the leading hand that ran the sheep station.

Chapter 1
Eight years later.

We were still living on the station, but my brother John was sent to the nearest town and started to work for a builder. Rita was not interested in school so she started helping my mum in the kitchen cooking for all the workmen. There was no school within two hundred miles, so schooling was by School of the Air, which in those days was by two way radio with a teacher in the nearest town. It was too expensive to send me to boarding school, so I did about three hours of school work a day on the radio. The rest of the time I was looked after by my sister, which was when I started to feel my twin within me.

Rita was fourteen and developing into a pretty young woman. There were no other kids around, and my brother did not come home very often, so she only had me around to talk to and of course this is when she started to dress me in her old dresses and underwear. For some reason it felt right for me to be in girls clothes. My mum saw what was happening but only said not to let my dad see what we were doing.

There were lots of men’s working quarters that were empty a lot of the time, so it wasn’t hard to find somewhere to dress up without being seen by anyone. Every time I was dressed as a girl I seemed to have a strange feeling of my twin being inside my mind, and when I went to sleep at night I was always a girl. We eventually moved to a city, and as I got older the dressing did not stop, and I always had my sister’s support. My brother did not want to know me, and my dad left to live with another woman,

My mum decided to move away from the sheep station for a new life. I had just turned eight and Rita was now fourteen years old. While my mum Donna, and my sister Rita were tying down the tarpaulin with ropes covering all our meagre belongings on the back of a borrowed utility truck, I went back inside the worker's cottage, for one last check to make sure there was nothing left behind. While I was doing this it dawned on me that there was a stash of my sister's clothes in one of the rooms of the workers' quarters, down near the shearing sheds.

I told Mum and she said if I didn’t get my backside into gear, I could stay with the other sheep on the station , so I did as I was told and nearly tripped over my own feet since I’m pretty clumsy at the best of times. I got my bag of goodies that were hidden under a bed in the workers' rooms, and high-tailed it back to the others. Mum raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

We were all ready to go. The ute that Mum borrowed was an ex-army four wheel drive Landrover with a flat tray back and high wire meshed sides, so it took all our belongings with ease. The station owner loaned it to us for as long as we needed to use it. He was a nice man and I was going to miss his kind face. I settled in the back seat of the dual cab. I think the army uses them to carry men and equipment all at the same time. Mum started the noisy diesel engine, and we were on our way. Rita turned around and smiled at me and told me to wave goodbye to the station owner and his wife. I was sad and had tears in my eyes, but we were going to start a new life in a town so I would have more opportunity to attend a real school, and Mum and Rita could find jobs.

As Mum started driving she said “It's just as well we have a four wheel drive,” because it was at the end of the wet season, and the station is in the far south west of Queensland, so the track out to the main gate of the property was at least a one hour drive on wet ground. My mum had had plenty of practise doing this over the years, living on a remote place like River Downs, which is fifty thousand acres of grazing land with a river and smaller creeks running through it.

Mum asked me if I wanted to visit my twin sister's grave one last time before we left for good and of course I said “Yes”. It was only seven am, so there was time enough to detour a couple of miles to Jean's resting place. Mum and Rita said their goodbyes to Jean, and left me alone to be with my twin sister for a few minutes to say my last goodbye. I didn't realise then that it would be a while before I would get a chance to come back to visit her again, only next time I would be wearing something more feminine.

I sat beside her grave and told her that she would travel through life inside my body and see and do all the things we would have done if she had lived. I picked some wild flowers that were growing nearby and placed them on Jean's grave, tears streaming down my face. Then I made my way back to Mum and Rita who had both been crying too, so we all had red eyes.

Now we were ready to hit the road or in our case, a rough track. After half an hour of driving through this beautiful property, we reached the main gate and mail box which is an old forty four gallon drum with a lid on a hinge at one end, and the name of the station painted on one side of the drum, Now, this being nineteen fifty six, the roads out west were gravel,and a grader would come along every couple of months and push all the dirt back up to the middle to reform the road. In the wet season a lot of these roads were impassable for weeks at a time. Even today there are times when it still happens.

We left the property, which is two hundred miles west of a town called Quilpie, and started our long trip towards the the east of the state. The road was rough and dusty and there was nothing much to see except bush on both sides of the road. The radio was on, but there was no reception and it was hot and dusty. I asked Mum if we could pull off the road for ten minutes so we could have a drink of cold water from the water bag that hung on the front of the truck's bumper bar. Mum found a large gum tree to park under. We had been travelling for almost two hours, so we sat in the shade, had some sandwiches and got water from the canvas water bag.

This is when Mum looked at me and said “Carla, I know you and Rita have been playing dress up for a while now, and Rita has told me, how you feel like Jean is inside you when you are dressed like a girl.”

It was cool in the shade, but I could feel my face getting hotter after she called me Carla. Just then Rita came and grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye's and said “It's ok.” and gave me a hug.

Mum said we had better keep going, because we want to reach Quilpie before nightfall, so we got back in the ute and settled in for the next section of the hot and dusty road ahead. Some of the creek crossings still had quite a bit of water flowing over them, so Mum got out, and waded through the crossing to find the safest track through the water, because if we were to get stuck in the creek, we could be there until someone else came along, and 'out here' that could be hours or even days, so Mum was not going to take any risks.

There were three more of these crossings, but Mum was a safe outback driver and three hours later the township of Quilpie came into sight. It was just as well because after almost six hours on the road we were all getting very tired. Of course Rita was capable of driving. Even though she was only fourteen, kids were taught to drive at this age in the bush, but Mum insisted on driving all the way to be safe.

We pulled into an Ampol service station and filled up the fuel tank with diesel, and the man checked out the radiator for water and the oil level in the engine. Mum paid the man five pounds and three shillings for twenty gallons of diesel, and he asked Mum where we were headed, and if we were going to stay in town overnight? Mum said it was too late in the day to keep driving any further and asked the man where the best place would be to stay overnight. The man said his name was Bill, and that he owned the caravan park behind the garage, and we could stay in one of the cabins there if we wanted. Mum said she was Donna White and said we would be staying the night. The cabin cost two pounds a night, so Mum paid the bill and we drove into where our cabin was and opened the door with the key that Bill gave to Mum at the garage. We took the large suitcase which most of our travel clothes from the back of the ute and into the cabin.

Then something Mum said to Rita made my heart jump. She asked Rita to go and grab the bag of clothes that I got from the workers' rooms back at the station from the ute and bring it into her. Mum looked at me and she had a big smile on her face.

I said in a panic “What are you going to do with the bag of clothes Mum?”

She replied “Carl, don't you think we should have a talk about who “Carla” is? I have watched you and Rita for over a year now,and I think I might have a second daughter,and if that is what you truly want then I will be there for Carla.”

Rita came in with the bag of girls clothes

She said “Where do you want these Mum?” smiling at me while she said it.

“Put it on the bed that you and Carla are going to sleep on tonight, and open it up so we can look at what will fit my new daughter.”

She looked at me saying “This is what you want to do Carla isn't it?" I went and sat on the bed next to her and hugged her, and cried on her shoulder.

Rita came and sat next to me and stroked my hair which hadn't been cut for over six months, so it came down past my collar. Anyway I got my emotions under control, and I told Mum how I felt my twin sister Jean was inside me; how when Rita put me in girls clothes that the boy side of me just seemed to disappear.

Mum said “Ok. I’ll see what we can work out, but for now you will have to dress in girl's clothes inside only, or we could end up in trouble, Now lets see what is in your bag.”

There were three skirts and matching blouses, a couple of slips and six or seven panties all washed and folded, also ribbons and some bobby pins in a little draw bag. Rita had learnt to sew on an old treadle sewing machine, so she had made everything to fit me over the next few months. Mind you I looked like a stick insect in a skirt.

Half an hour later we went to the only restaurant in town to have a well earned meal. I had to stay in my boy's clothes for now. After we ate a meal of steak and eggs, which cost mum one pound and four shillings, we went back to our cabin and got ready for bed. I had to share a bed with Rita, as there were only two beds in the cabin, so she let me have one of her nighties to sleep in. Jean was inside me once again and I went to sleep next to my big sister in girl mode.

To be continued

The next morning,

Mum's little wind up travel clock woke us up with a start. It was one of her wedding presents, and I was always fascinated by how the little numbers would show up in the dark. The alarm was set for six am, and being the end of March the sun had already been up for an hour. There was no shower in the cabin, so we quickly got dressed, and walked past six other cabins and into the building that was used as toilets and laundry with showers at one end.

Mum had to send me back to the cabin to get some towels, which was my job in the first place. When I got back, Mum was already in the shower. Rita was sitting on a little bench between the shower cubicles shaking her head with a silly grin on her face.

“Took you long enough didn't it? You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.”

Anyway, we had our showers and went back to our cabin, and Mum went out to the ute, and brought
in an Esky which was an ice box, with all the necessary food to make breakfast. There was an electric fry pan and an electric jug on a little bench beside a tiny fridge which was empty. Mum let Rita fry up eggs and bacon. There was no toaster in the cabin, so Mum cut some slices of bread and buttered them. There were no tea bags so Mum had to make the tea the old way in a tea pot and let it draw for ten minutes.

After we had breakfast and cleaned up all our gear, we were ready to hit the road again. It was still only seven thirty am, so if we got going we would make good progress on the road. Mum drove out to the service station driveway and got out of the ute to give Bill back the key to the cabin. After she thanked him and said goodbye, she started walking back towards us when she stopped and looked underneath the ute as if something was wrong. Bill saw what she was looking at and came over to look under the ute. When he stood up he looked at Mum and said in a dry voice

“Donna, you ain't goin' nowhere with that oil leakin' from ya gear box.”

Mum just stood there. I think she was about cry, when Bill turned to her said “She'll be right. It'll take a couple of days, but the old girl will be as good as new”.

Needless to say we weren’t going anywhere that day, so Bill went into his work shop and got a push trolley to take some of our suitcases, or 'ports'* as we used to call them, back to the same cabin we had stayed in last night. Once Mum organised what clothes we'd needed for the next few days the trolley was taken back to the cabin. Bill came with us to turn on the fridge and also brought a small gas stove for us to cook on.

Then Bill went back to his workshop to organise his mechanic to get started on repairing the Land-rover. He was back at the cabin ten minutes later to tell Mum he had radioed the owner of River Downs and got the o.k. to send the bill to him for the repairs that needed doing,

Mum looked at Bill with surprised look on her face, and said “I am not broke and can pay my way”

Bill looked at her with hurt expression on his face and said, “It's done, so please don't worry about it”.

While Bill was talking with Tom Granger the station owner, he asked all about us, as it worked out he knew my dad James and brother John. I think Bill had wanted to 'befriend' Mum, as he had lost his wife to cancer two years earlier and had taken a shine to Mum. After all she was only thirty eight years old and quite good looking with a nice figure.

Mum never got a divorce, probably hoping she and Dad would get together again but both John and Dad had not been around for quite a while. Tom Granger must have told Bill about me and Rita, because he looked at Mum and said “Tom told me about Carl and Rita and not to worry if I see him in girl's clothes.”

Mum had a worried frown and looked at Bill who had sat down on a chair that he grabbed from from another cabin, and she asked him if he was o.k. with my cross-dressing. He said that his only son committed suicide because he was homosexual, (the word gay was not used back then), and he was sorry that he wasn't there for him when he needed his love and support the most.

Bill looked at me and said if I want to dress up while we were staying here it was o.k. with him. I thought 'all my Christmases had come at once' and couldn't speak, Rita put her arm around me and hugged me with tears in her eyes. Mum asked Bill to step outside for minute to talk to him without us kids listening to what was being said. I thought that was a bit mean, but Rita just said “It looks like I get to have a little sister”, at least while we are here anyway.

Rita was sitting next to me on the bed being quiet to see if we could overhear anything that they were saying. when they walked back in and sat down on the other bed. Mum looked at Bill and gave him a nod. He turned to me and my sister and said he and Donna had a few things in common. I sat on the edge of the bed and was getting nervous about what he was about to say. Rita looked at Mum with a questioning look, but Mum just said she would let Bill do the talking. Mum came and sat in between me and Rita and put her arms around our shoulders.

Bill said “Donna, um, your mum an' me got to thinkin' that we got somethin' in common, and I reckon if you want to hang about here for a bit, it would help me out with opening up the restaurant again.”

Bill had closed it down when his wife Ann died. It didn't take long for me and Rita to nod our heads Quilpie wasn't a big town but it is on the banks of the Bulloo River and we could go swimming in its cool water any time it wasn't in flood. Mum told Bill she would fill us in about what she had decided to do. Bill said “See ya later kids” and went back to his workshop, probably to check up on our Land-rover.

Rita and I sat on the bed with Mum sitting opposite on the other bed facing us as she explained what she had decided to do for the time being. As she hadn’t made any real plans as to which town we were going to settle down in we might as well stay in Quilpie for a few months.

Mum looked at us and said “What do you girls think?”

I had that hot face again. “Um Mum, you called us girls, not kids as you usually do.”

Mum said if she was going to have two daughters there were two girls sitting on the bed in front of her. My face still hot, I jumped up onto her lap and felt something inside me tingle. It was a strange sensation, as if there was two of us hugging mum , but Rita was still sitting on the other bed. Mum felt me tremble and said I had goose bumps all over my arms.

Rita just said “Jean has come with us and I will just have to put up with her being part of my life. Her body might be buried back at River Downs but her soul and spirit is well and truly inside of Carla.”

The three of us stayed in the cabin for three more days. Then Bill Croft moved us to his huge homestead type home just outside of town. It was still within walking distance of his garage and cabins so it meant nothing to us, as distance is irrelevant to people that lived in Western Queensland.

Mum had accepted Bill's offer to reopen the restaurant connected to the garage which had been closed since his wife Ann died two years ago. We were going to share his house which was an original homestead of the property that the town was built around in the late eighteen hundreds. There were six bedrooms and they all had doors opening out to the verandas that surrounded the house. Bill slept in a small room next to the kitchen and his home office. I guess he didn't like having to do too much housework. Mum took the bedroom next to the main one which still had all of Ann's things in it, I don't think Bill had the heart to throw anything of his late wife's things out. Rita and I decided to share a bedroom. They were very large rooms and we brought one of the other beds from the next room into ours. I was not going to go to any school until we settle in to the local community, so Mum was going to home school me for the rest of that year.

Rita was going to work in the restaurant with Mum. Legally she could work at fourteen, so she could now do an apprenticeship as a chef since Mum was a qualified chef and needed a hand to run the restaurant. I was only eight and had to do the school work that mum set out for me each morning, which I could usually get done in about four hours. I was quite used to doing school work by myself as I had done it by two way radio with School of Air for the last three years. I had already started fourth grade at the station and was a fairly good student so it wasn't a big deal for Mum to do the teaching.

This brings me to the best part of my life so far, seeing no one really knew us in this town apart from Bill, his mechanic and the dentist that I had to come into town to see twelve months ago. I was allowed to go in girl mode and see how things work out. The first chance I got, Mum gave Rita a five pound note and said to go to St Vincent de Paul's charity shop, which is a Catholic organisation to help out poorer people in the community.

Five pound would buy me everything I need including two pairs of girl shoes.

Rita said, “Carla how lucky can you get girl?”

“Um I think Jean is making things happen. I get tingly, feelings every time I touch any girl clothes.”

Rita was looking at my arms which had goose bumps all over them again, so it looked like I was taking my twin sister shopping with me. By the time Rita had looked through all of the clothes racks for eight year old girls, I finished up with a half decent wardrobe including Mary Jane type shoes. Most of the things we bought were like new, so all we had to do was wash and iron them. We put all our purchases on the counter by the till, I was dressed in Rita's hand me downs, so I well and truly looked like a girl with her older sister doing what girls do .

The volunteer lady that was looking after the shop for the day came out of a sorting room to serve us. When she saw the amount of clothes we were buying she looked at me and said. “You poor girl why is a pretty young girl like you dressed in rags?”

“Um we lost most of our things in a flooded creek when Mum got stuck in deep water” I lied.

Rita said “That's right, so we will come back in a couple of days and buy some for me and Mum.”

We tried to pay the lady for the stuff we got but she wouldn’t hear of it, so we thanked her and said we would be back later.

When we got home Mum was in Bill's office talking on the phone, ordering things for the restaurant.
When she saw us come in she finished the call and turned to us and looked at pile of clothes that Rita had put on a chair in the office.

“My God how much did you spend? I only gave you a fiver. There is at least ten quid's worth in that lot” she said.

When I told her what the lady said to me, and that I had lied about what was supposed to have happened to our clothes, mum frowned first at Rita and then at me.

“Rita and Carla, I have told you never tell lies to anyone. It will come back and bite you both on the bum.”

She said she would go and see the the lady tomorrow and pay for the things we had brought home. By this time I was sobbing and Rita said that I was embarrassed when the lady called me a poor little girl dressed in rags. Mum came and hugged me till I calmed down.

After we had our evening meal, Rita and I went to bed early to read for a while and she cuddled me
until I went to sleep and dreamed of my twin sister Jean.

To be continued.

* port (short for portmanteau) was the word used for a suitcase, but only in northern parts of Australia.

I woke up to the sound of white cockatoos screeching their good morning message to us.

It was only five am but with these beautiful birds perched in a large red gum tree just outside our bedroom window, there was no need for alarm clocks.

Rita turned over and pulled the blankets back over her head, “Shit! Somebody should shoot those bloody birds. Don't they know it's Saturday and sleep-in time?”

If I didn't have to go to the bathroom to pee, I would have stayed in bed snuggling up to my older sibling but I don't think she would appreciate a wet bed.

I decided to stay up and have a shower which was in separate room to the toilet. At least the toilet was inside the house and was hooked up to a septic tank in the back yard. The old toilet, called a ''dunny” a little outhouse in the yard was now used for storing gardening tools. Anyway me being me, I clean forgot to take any clothes with me and had to wrap a towel around me to get back to the bedroom. Of course I wrapped it around my chest like I saw Rita do it, I was after all a girl in training, and I didn't want to mess up if this was going to work, or I could be in real trouble if some red-neck boy discovered my little secret.

On my way back, I had to go passed mum's room and tried to tippy-toe past her door down the hallway, when the door opened and mum was talking to someone back in her room. She hadn't seen me right away, and she stopped half-way out of the door and gasped as she saw me standing there like a scared little girl wrapped in a bath towel, “What are you doing up so early Carla?”

I said “Um the cockies woke me up and I had to pee.” I asked her who she was talking to, and before she could answer Bill was standing behind her looking very sheepish with a red face.

“Sweetheart, why are you running around just wrapped in a towel?”

I said “I had a shower and forgot to take any clean clothes with me Mum.”

She was avoiding telling me why Bill was in her bedroom, but I knew all about the birds and the bees because there were lots of books kept at River Downs, and some of them were medical books, probable because Tom Granger's wife was a nurse before she married him. Had she been home at the time of my birth, my late twin sister Jean might be here with me today.

“Bill just brought me in a cup of tea seeing he was up.” she said. But Bill was standing behind mum and I could see he was only wearing a pair of undies.

“You better go and get dressed and get your sister up to get you some breakfast young lady.”

When she said that, I knew that if I didn't go mum would be cross with me.

I hurried back to Rita who was already up, and about to go and have a shower.

When I said “Better not go past Mum's bedroom for five minutes.” she said “Why not? I have to pee now.” So she opened the door and almost ran to the toilet right past Bill going back to his room in his undies. Mum was standing at her door with a silly look on her face.

I thought I’d better get dressed or I'll be in trouble, so I went through my new second-hand clothes, and selected a denim skirt and sleeveless white blouse with flowers printed around the breast area, I was brushing my hair out to try and get it to dry a little quicker when Rita walked back in to the room, she was still in her nightie and hadn't had a shower.

Rita asked, “What was Bill doing in mum's bedroom in his underpants”?

“I told you to wait five minutes before you barged out the door didn't I? Mum told me Bill brought her in a cup of tea. Yeah right, likely bloody story, in his underdaks?* Anyway it's Mum's business if she wants to be friendly with Bill, I really like him” I said.

Rita said that at least he's around, not like our dad the arsehole.

“You better not let Mum hear you talking like that” I said.

“Yeah, well it makes me so mad that Dad left like that. Anyway it looks like we might have scored a new one.”

Then Rita grabbed her clothes and went to have her shower, so it looked like I would have to get my own breakfast or wait for Mum to come out of her room. I went to the kitchen and got myself some Vitabrits* and some fresh milk from the fridge .

Mum walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. It was a slow combustion one that had to be kept alight all the time. It used coking coal not wood, and if you wanted it to get hotter you had to put more coke in the fireplace, and pull a lever on the side to let more air into the fire box. Anyway, Mum sat down beside me at the table and said she wanted to tell me about what I saw earlier on outside her bedroom.

“Carla, me and Bill have been very lonely for long enough, and have decided to be more than just friends.” Then she explained how Bill and her had so many things in common that it made sense to take the relationship a bit further. Rita was standing behind me by this time so she heard what Mum had said. Rita asked Mum if she loved Bill. Mum said she probably would in time because Bill was a real nice man and treated her with respect which is more than our father did. Just then Bill walked in, all dressed in slacks and blue shirt with his name sewn on to one of the pockets. He had had his shower in the the one next to the outside laundry.

“Good morning ladies. Um — has Donna -- um your mum explained about this morning? We both nodded our heads in unison. I kept quiet, but Rita said she liked Bill but didn't want Mum to get hurt again. Bill said there was no way he would hurt any lady and he had a hurt look on his face. That's when I went over and hugged him, and looked into his clear blue eyes and said “Now that you and Mum are together can I call you Dad or Uncle Bill?”

Before he could answer me, Mum said I should call him Uncle for now, because it would be hard to explain to people that knew Bill, where two girls came from out of nowhere wouldn’t it?

After Mum had her shower and breakfast, we got into Uncle Bill's FJ Holden* sedan, and he drove the couple of miles to his garage to see how the repairs to mum's Land-rover were going. It was parked outside of the garage and looked all clean. While Rita and I stayed in the car, Mum and Bill went to talk to Henry the mechanic who said it was all set to go, so Mum collected the key from the office and came back to the car with Uncle Bill and we went into the town shopping centre. There were no shopping malls in those days, just joined shops on either side of the road.

Rita and I wanted to go for a swim in the river, but we'd never had swimsuits because back at River Downs we swam in the nude. Out there it didn't matter because the dams we swam in were half a mile away from anywhere. So while Bill did some grocery shopping, Mum and her two daughters hit the small town's clothes shops. I felt myself getting all tingly again as we started looking through the shelves for some swimsuits for all three of us. The lady that we met at the charity shop the the other day, owned the shop we were in, and she looked surprised when she saw myself and Rita with mum in her shop. I think she thought we were out of towners, and were too broke to buy anything in her shop.

I turned to Mum and said “Mum this is the nice lady that wouldn't take any money for the clothes that that we got from her the other day.”

Mum said “G'day. I'm Donna White and these are my two daughters Rita and Carla. We've come to buy some swimsuits so we can go for a swim in the river after lunch.

The lady said “Hello I’m Mary Winton. I own this shop,and I volunteer at the charity shop one day a week.”

Mum said “How much did it cost the other day when my girls bought all those skirts and things, because I will not take charity away from someone that really needs it”? I was feeling guilty now for not telling the truth about why we were buying all those clothes , Mary was taken aback with mum's abruptness, and said she felt sorry for me and thought she was doing the right thing by not charging us for the clothes. Mum said that she must have misunderstood me and gave Mary a ten pound note for the charity shop.

Mary said “I'm sorry I misunderstood your daughter Donna. I'm a bit of a softy where kids are concerned.”

Mum said “That's o.k. Mary. We'll just go over to where the swimming gear is and see what we can find for the three of us. ” Mary then said if we needed any assistance to just sing out.

Country towns didn't have a lot of range in swimsuits,but the ones they did stock were mainly ones that were worn by teachers and school kids going to school swimming carnivals, so they were not high fashion items. Mum picked out our size and told me and Rita to go into one of the fitting rooms and whispered to me, “Make sure you tuck you know what between your legs and get Rita to check before you come out to show me o.k?”

Rita stripped off naked and told me to do the same. Being naked together didn't bother either of us because there were no secrets between us and besides I was supposed to be a girl now. Rita was well on the way to becoming a woman. Her breasts would have been a C cup and now that we were going to be living in town she would have to get used to wearing a bra. She was already getting lusty looks from the boys we passed going into Mary's shop.

I was eight going on nine and as I’ve said before I looked like a stick insect, but 'puberty hadn't started thank God' I thought to myself as I pulled the one piece swimsuit up my skinny body, making sure my little piece of skin was tucked away. It was so small that I looked the same as Rita down there.

Rita said “My God Carla it's not going to be to hard to make you look like my sister. I can't see anything showing down there at all.”

Mum said “Come on girls I want to see what you both look like.” We opened the door and Mum had her swimsuit on and Mary was standing beside her. I was a bit reluctant to come out at first, then Mary said “Well young ladies, don't you look good?” Mum had damp eyes when she looked me in the eyes, but because Mary was there she bit her tongue. Mum was wearing the same type swimsuit as us, only if Bill saw her now he would start to stutter which he did when he got excited.

So Mum told us to change back into our clothes, and we would go and find Bill and have some lunch down by the river. I walked back into the cubicle with Rita and stripped off to change back into my skirt and blouse and the frilly panties that Rita gave me for my last birthday. We just wore thongs5 on our feet, We were both standing there naked when I started to feel all trembly and had that feeling I get when my my late twin sister Jean, seems to want to communicate with me.

Rita saw it happening and said “Close your eyes and listen in your head to what Jean is trying to say to you Carla.”

All I could hear was a tiny voice saying 'I love you' over and over till I opened my eyes and then it stopped. By this time mum and Rita were holding me in a hug. I was still a little shaky so Mum helped me to get dressed while Rita did too. Mum paid for our purchases at the counter where Mary was standing and said we would be back in or week or so to replenish our wardrobe. We left to find Uncle Bill down the other end off town where we found him next to his car talking to an older man, and he said “Barry, this is my adopted family Donna, Rita, and last but not least Carla”.

“Very nice to meet you all. Bill has had no-one to look after him for a couple of years now. It's nice to see him smile again.”

We said goodbye to Barry and got in the car, and Mum said we had better take the groceries back to the homestead before the butter melted and the meat didn't need cooking, so we went home and put everything away. Then Mum made a picnic lunch to eat down by the river. She told me and Rita to put our swimsuits on and our clothes back on over them so we wouldn't have to change down by the river where we were going to go for a swim. Lunch was packed in an ice box, and towels slung over our shoulders. Uncle Bill walked out to the car in a pair of cut off old jeans which was what he swam in and an old khaki shirt and thongs* on his feet.

We arrived at the picnic area and there were already quite a lot of people there, having their lunch, sitting on blankets on the freshly mowed grass. Mum need not have worried about us changing at the swimming area ,because there were changing sheds at the swimming area, so the three of us went and took off our clothes in the sheds. I was glad that I didn't have to strip because there were three other girls in there in varies stages of undress, so I was a little bit shy and kept close to Mum and Rita. we walked back to the car and put the clothes in the boot*. Bill was sitting on the blanket getting the food ready to eat when he saw Mum in her swimsuit and as I said before when he gets excited he stutters.

He said “M my G God um Donna wha what are yo you tryin' t t to d d do to m me?”

Mum said grinning “Bill get used to it. You have three ladies living in your house now, so you're going to see a lot more than this!”

We did go go swimming after lunch, and yes there were boys around, but I will tell you about that in the next chapter.

* underdaks Aussie slang for underpants. DAKS is a menswear and womens-wear company.

* Vita Brits, a breakfast cereal.

* FJ Holden, an early Aussie built car by General Motors Australia.

* Thongs Aussie for flip flops.

* Boot Aussie for the car trunk.

To be continued.

While Mum and Uncle Bill relaxed sitting on the blanket eating a piece of fruit, Rita and I raced each other down to the river bank. The water was still a little bit dirty from the last fresh flow that came from up-stream after it had rained in the mountain range fifty miles away. Rita jumped in first, and then it was my turn. Because I am a bit of a tangle-foot, I slipped on the muddy bank and did a complete somersault and landed on my back in the mud.

I lay there winded for a couple of minutes gasping for breath, when a boy came out of the water and grabbed me by both hands, and pulled me up in a sitting position.

He said “Are you alright little girl”

I said “Yeah just winded. I’ll be ok in a minute.”

Just then Rita scrambled up the bank and almost slipped back into the water, The boy grabbed Rita's hand and pulled her up to dry land, and said “Shit, don't you two know how to stay upright?”

“And who are you when you're at home?” she said.

“Arrr yeah well-- Peter, I’m Peter.”he said as he was looking more at Rita's perfect body than her face.

Rita said “Thanks for helping my little sister. I was too far from the bank to help her.”

“Aww, woulda done it for anyone.” he said.

As this was all taking place, Mum and Bill had seen what happened and quickly came down to the river bank to see if everything was alright and that I wasn't hurt.

Mum said “Carla you know you shouldn't run around on slippery river banks. You're going to break your bloody neck one day.”

I rolled my eyes and said “Yes Mum, sorry!”

Bill looked over to Peter and said “G'day Pete. You always seem to be around to help out don't ya lad?”

Peter looked at Mum with a red face, probably because she caught him looking at Rita's nipples showing through the wet material on her swimsuit, Just than another boy turned up and stood next to Peter. He was about my age, and he sort of looked me up and down as if to say 'another dumb girl.'

I said to the boy “G'day I’m Carla what’s your name?”

He looked at Peter and back at me and said “I’m Rick and he's my brother Pete.”

Uncle Bill was grinning at Mum and said “I don't think we are needed here do you Donna?” With that they went back to the car and got a couple of deck chairs out of the boot of the car, which Bill had shifted under a large gum tree to catch some shade.

So Rita, myself, Pete, and Rick all decide to safely get in the water without slipping this time, Pete was holding Rita's hand as we entered the water, she didn't seem to stop him which surprised me a bit because Mum told her earlier, not to flirt with boys she didn't know.

Rick was standing beside me in waist deep water and said “Carla see that drum out there?”

“Where?” I said

“About fifty yards out in the river see it?”

“Oh yeah there it is.” I said.

He said “Can you swim out that far, or is the little girl too scared to go into deep water?”

“'Little girl' You're no bigger than me.” I said.

Rick didn't realise how good 'little girl' sounded to me. While this exchange was taking place, Pete and Rita were also waiting for us to get into deeper water, to swim out to where the drum was anchored to the bottom of the river.

I said to Rick “I'll bet you two bob I can beat you out there, you look like a wimp to me.”

“Right you're on!”he said. Rita and Pete watched as we set of, and followed close behind. Both Rita and I were really good swimmers. I might be a tangle-foot on land, but in water I am a fish. Rita is the same. We were taught early because in the outback the swimming holes in the creeks are nowhere near any buildings. Most sheds and houses are on higher ground away from any danger of being inundated by flood water in the wet season, which can last up to two months at a time.

In the dry season the creeks would still run a little bit but we would swim in the deep water holes washed out by the erosion off the flood waters, If we got into any trouble swimming we were on our own , so we learned not to fool around too much and stayed safe.

Anyway back to now, I was at the drum well before the rest of them, hanging onto the handles that were on the side of the drum, because out here the water was about twenty foot deep and there was always a current running in the deeper water. You had to hang on or you would end up miles down stream. Rita and Pete were right behind me, but Rick was still four or five yards out when it looked like he was struggling,

“Cramp” he yelled “Hang on.”

I yelled back and quickly swam out to help him before he disappeared under the surface.

I reached him in no time flat, turned him around in the rescue position and started hauling him back to the drum. We had now drifted about ten yards down stream and it was hard going..

Rick said “My leg is cramped up too much to swim.” in between gasps of breath.

I said “Just hang on I'll get us back to the drum.” It took a little while. Swimming against the current was wearing me out as well, and Rita and Pete were just about to give me a hand, but I made it back to the drum and got Rick to hang on to one of the handles on the side of the drum.

While I recovered and and got my breath back, Rita and Pete went to work on Rick's leg and rubbed some feeling back into it.

He said in-between the pain “Holy shit! I could have drowned if Carla hadn’t got me.”

I said “Do the same for anyone. Can't let my friend drown can I? Might need the same sometime.”

He said “Owe you one, girl.”

While we were all hanging off the drum trying to get enough strength to swim back to the bank, I started to feel those familiar trembles I get when my late twin seems to want to communicate with me. Rita saw what was happening and came closer so I wouldn't lose my grip on the handle, because I seemed to lose my coordination whenever that happened to me.

She said “Close your eyes. I’ll make sure you're safe.”

All I heard in my head as clear as a bell was a tiny vice saying 'I am always with you Carla. I love you' and then she faded away. I opened my eyes and Rita was holding on to me, and then the trembling stopped .

Pete and Rick were looking at me and asked if I was o.k. I said “Yeah. Lets get back to the bank.”

We swam beside Rick to make sure he didn't cramp up again. It didn't take too long and we were all helped out on to the grass away from the muddy bank by Mum and Uncle Bill who watched it all happen.

Bill said “Bloody hell kids, another couple of minutes and I was going in to rescue the the bloody lot of yer's!”

Then he said “There's still too much run in the river to be swimming out that far. Coulda drowned the bloody lot o' ya's.”

Mum gave me a hug as she said “Carla you realise you saved Ricks life don't you sweetheart?”

I whispered to her so the others couldn't hear and said “Mum it was Jean, not me that did the saving.”

She whispered back to me “Darling we'll talk about that when we get home ok?”

“Year Mum. I need to ask you something about how I feel when Jean talks to me in my head”.

We all walked back to where the car was parked. Mum told Rita and me to grab our towels and Bill was telling the boys to do the same and come back to our car, and he would drop them off at their house on the way home. When Rita and I came back to the car everything was packed up and put in the boot, and Mum and Bill were talking about what we would do on the way home, something about picking up Mum's Land-rover at the garage.

Pete and Rick were standing next to the car with their arms folded across their chests, with a bored look on their faces. Pete couldn't take his eyes off Rita.

Rick said with a cheeky grin on his face “They look nice when they got clothes on don't they Pete?” which earned Rick a slap on the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for?” said Rick

“Behave yourself in front of ladies and you won't get slapped o.k.?”

“Yer, sorreeey!”Rick said rubbing the back of his head.

We all piled into the car. I sat in the front between Mum and Bill, and Rita sat on one side with Pete in the middle. I think Rick was sulking just a bit. Mum pulled down the sun visor that had a mirror on the back off it, and she kept an eye on what was going on between Rita and Pete, not that they would do anything with Rick sitting next to them. Anyway we reached Pete's and Rick's house and it was next to the state school with the same chain-wire fence as the school had which meant it was government property, in other words it belonged to the school. When Bill pulled into the driveway, Barry, the man he was talking to earlier came out to the gate, and said “G'day Bill. How come you are bringing my boys home?

"They were down the river and swimming with Donna's girls." Bill said "I was about to   get in the car and we were coming past this way so I thought I'd give then a lift home."  

Barry said “Thanks Bill. They weren’t in any trouble were they?”

“No not really, but you better put some liniment onto young Ricky's leg. He's had a cramp in it.” Bill said.

Barry and the boys waved goodbye to us as they walked inside with their dad. Rick was walking with a bit of a limp. As Bill started driving I asked, “Uncle Bill, is Barry the school principal?”

“Yeah and if you go to school here in Quilpie, you will have to call him Mister Smith, or sir.”
I replied “He seems to be a nice man, and has a couple of nice sons too.”

Rita who was on her own in the back seat had a dreamy look in her eyes said “I like Peter he's got real strong arms and has brown eyes.” It was hard for Mum and Bill not to let Rita notice them shaking with muffled laughter.

It wasn't long and we were pulling up at Uncle Bill's garage to pick up Mum's loaned Land-rover, Mum already had the keys with her and she went straight to to the Rover unlocked it and got in. Bill waited till he heard the diesel motor start up and headed home with Mum following close behind, Bill turned to me and said, “Carla how are you feeling now that you are allowed to dress as girl all the time”

I said “Uncle Bill it just feels more normal for me to dress as a girl than be in boy's clothes.”

“Yeah I thought that you looked a lot happier than when I first saw you.” he said.

Rita was listening to what was being said in the front.

After she stopped dreaming of Pete, she said “Uncle Bill, Carla might have a little willy down there but she is as much of a girl as me.”

I think Bill was a little embarrassed at the way Rita just said it without thinking about it.

Bill replied “Rita you are just like your mother, a straight shooter. No beating around the bush. That's what I like about Donna -- err your mother -- and her pretty blue eyes”

Rita had the same blue eyes as Mum with honey blond thick hair halfway down their backs. I had big brown eyes and light blond hair the same as my Dad and brother John.

Bill pulled into the big machinery shed beside the house, and waited for Mum to pull in beside his car. Mum got out of the Rover and said “Gee it's good to have the old girl back. It'll give me a bit of independence.”

Bill said “Hey I could have lent you one of my other cars you know Donna.” with a mock hurt tone in his voice. Mum came over to Bill who was still sitting in his car and poked her head in the window and gave Bill a long slow kiss on the lips.

Rita and I were already out of the car, so we both made a wolf whistle and started to run into the house giggling like a couple of idiots, when we heard Mum say ”Hoy get back here you two, and help bring the stuff in from the car, or I won't feed you tonight. ”

We went back and said “Yes Mum, sorry.” but couldn't stop giggling. That started Bill off as well so Mum just shook her head saying 'heaven help me I love you lot, but your going to drive me to distraction,' while she was looking at Bill with a smile.

Later that day when everything was put away and we'd had tea, (that is what our evening meal was called back than), it was only seven pm but it had been quite a hot day and it was still too early to go to bed, so we went out onto the verandah which surrounded the house. There were plenty of mosquitoes about in summer, but the verandahs were all enclosed with fly screens so we could sit in the cool breeze lightly blowing through the screens making a slight whining noise.

The night sky in the west is so clear that it seems you could reach up and almost touch the stars they seem so close. So while the others stayed on the verandah, I rubbed some citronella on my arms and legs to stop the mossies from biting, and sat outside on an old swing that hung off the branch of the big old gum beside the house. It wasn't long before Mum came out and joined me. She moved an old garden chair next to the swing and said “Alright sweetheart, let's have this talk you wanted.”

She sat down in the big old canvas squatters chair and said “Carla sweetheart, come over here and sit on my lap and tell your Mum what's troubling you.”

I went to her and sat gently down on her lap, but it didn't worry her because I was a skinny little thing and didn't weigh much more than a five year old. She cuddled me and I got a lump in my throat and couldn't help gently crying into her shoulder.

Mum just held me till I stopped crying and said “Does that feel better now?”

By this time I had one of those hiccups after you stop crying and I said “Mum, I a-am so-sorr-yy I ca- n-t go ba-ack to be-eing a bo-y.”

Mum replied “Oh sweetheart I told you I will be there for you and I will be.”

She than went on to tell me how she had spoken to Bill about how they will sort things out in the future. I than asked her about why Jean kept talking to me in my head and what happened at the river earlier today.

She said “Carla you are an identical twin. Had Jean lived, the two of you would have been finishing each other's sentences by now.”

We sat there for a bit longer just staring up at the beautiful outback sky and than made our way into the house. Bill and Rita had made a cup of tea and were sitting at the kitchen table talking about what was happening to the progress on the restaurant, when Mum went and sat next to Bill and poured herself a cup of tea from the pot which had a tea cosy on it to keep it hot for longer, I went to the fridge and got myself a glass of milk from the billy-can it was kept in.

Ten minutes later Rita and I went to the bathroom, cleaned our teeth, put on our nighties and crawled into bed. Rita said “Night Sis.” I replied “Love you Sis night” I was asleep pretty much as soon as my head hit the pillow. Then it happened. I was in my dream and I was looking at a girl that looked like me. It was like looking at myself in a mirror

Then the girl in the dream spoke and said “Hello Carla, it's me Jean your twin and the other half of your soul. I will always be with you till you join me on this side.”

I woke up trembling with Rita holding me, she shushed me and I went back to a dreamless sleep.

To be continued

I woke up trembling with Rita holding me. She shushed me and I went back to a dreamless sleep.

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Mum came into our room at six am. “Get up sleepyheads, we're going to church this morning.”

“What?” said Rita “we're not religious!”

“No we're not, but we're going to join your new uncle this morning.”

I was rubbing the sleep from my eyes and said “Who's this new uncle Mum?”

“Don't be a smarty-pants Carla, or I’ll get Bill to come in with a bucket of water to get you both out bed the quick way.”

I replied “Oh that uncle!” and quickly got out of bed and pulled the blankets off Rita. As I ran out of the room to go to the toilet before I peed myself, Mum started to chase me with a straw broom, so I ran into the toilet and locked the door.

“Cheeky little monkey!” she said.

I did my business and opened the door just a little bit in case Mum was still there waiting for me, it wasn't Mum, but Rita standing there crossing her legs.

“Hurry up or I'm gonna pee meself.”

“Alright, alright! I'm going, NO need to panic. Bloody hell! - why is everyone so cranky this morning?”

“Too friggin' early to be up on a Sunday morning, that's why!”

“At least the cockies weren't in the tree this morning, screaming their heads off.” I replied.

Mum said “Stop all that bla-- err swearing you two. Anybody would think we’re a mob of bushies.”

Rita and me said in unison “ Yeah we are”.

Mum poked her head around the corner of the verandah where the kitchen door was. “Hurry up, have a shower and get dressed into something nice for church”.

We went back to our bedroom and Rita pulled out clothes for both of us to wear to church and put them on the beds. We grabbed a couple of towels and went to the bathroom together still wearing our pink nighties.

“Hurry up and get in the shower Carla! I'll get in with you to save time.”

I didn't argue and she followed me in. I was looking at her breasts and then at her pubic hair.

“God! I wish I could look like that down there and have breasts.”

“Even if you were born a girl, you are too young to have breasts yet!”

“I don't want to go back to being a boy.”

I had tears in my eyes but the shower was wetting my face so it didn't look like I was crying, but Rita saw my shoulders shaking and gave me a hug.

There was no shame between us hugging while we were naked, as far as we were concerned we are sisters and I didn't think of myself as a boy.

We finished our shower and dried each other's hair. My hair was a lot longer now, still too short for my liking, but long enough to be girl length. Rita liked to braid hers, but I let mine loose, and wore a head band. It seemed more girly to me, probably because I had something to prove to myself.

As we were walking back to our bedroom with towels wrapped around us, Mum and Bill were both going to the bathroom to have a shower 'together'.

Bill looked over his shoulder and said “It's o.k. kids we're old enough to shower together!” Just as the door to the bathroom was closing, we saw Bill grabbing Mum's behind, and we could hear her squeal, as they got into the shower together.

We got back to our bedroom and Rita helped me dress. First I put on knickers and a vest shirt, and Rita said to take the vest off again because the summer dress that I was going to wear would not look good with a vest showing around the top.

“Put your arms up and I’ll slip this over your head.” Once the dress was pulled down into place, she said “Turn around so I can zip you up. Now go and put those sandals on while I get dressed”

Rita also put on a summer dress, but didn't wear a bra.

“Mum will make you wear a bra Rita! Your tits are too big now not to wear one.”

“Yeah, well I don't like the feel of the bra, it feels too tight and I can't breath properly when I have one on.”

“Yeah, well I don't have that problem do I, but I wish I did.”

Rita laughed and said “If we feed you the right pills you'll soon have some.”

“Will they make my willy drop off as well?”

Rita jiggled her breasts, then we both started to giggle like a pair of idiots,.

Just then, I heard Mum behind me laughing. ”Carla you will have to be patient like the rest of us, to be able to get the things we want in life.” and “Rita you are going to get measured for a new bra at Mary's shop tomorrow morning.”

“You'll drive that young Peter crazy if you don't hide those nipples under a bra.”

“Yes mum.” Rita said rolling her eyes.

Bill came in the room “Excuse me ladies, breakfast! In the kitchen now!”

“What's for brecky Uncle Bill?”

“Get in the kitchen and ya'll will see won't ya! Come on hurry up or we’ll be late for church.”

Rita asked,“Uncle Bill, what church are we going to?”

“The one down the road!”

“No, I mean what church, you know who are they?”

“Oh it’s the Catholic one Rita.”

“Uncle Bill,” I said, “Will Ricky Smith be there?”

“Sure will, so will his mum and dad.”

“Mum, do you think I should put on a bra?”

“Too late Rita. You'll just have to make sure to walk and not run, won't you!”

“And you want tits Carla! Ha!” said Rita.

Rita bounced her breasts again and we started giggling all over again. Well Rita and I thought it was funny.

Bill said “Lets go.” and started walking towards the gate. Mum, Rita and I stopped walking.

Mum said “Where are you going Bill?”

“I'm goin' to church. Are you lot comin' or not?'

“Uncle Bill how far is it to the church?”

“About a block down the road. We drive past it on the way to town, Carla.”

“Oh we'll walk then will we?”

“Look just get moving or I'll have to go by myself.”

We walked swiftly to the church, and it only took us five minutes. The service started at nine, but we were there at a quarter to, so we met the Smiths at the front gates of the church.

“Hello everyone,” said Mrs Smith “I'm Helen, Barry’s wife, welcome to Quilpie.”

“G'day, I'm Donna White and these are my kids Rita and Carla.”

The oldies started walking into the church, but the boys hung back a little bit, to talk with us before we went into the church.

“Rita you look really pretty in that dress.” Peter said, looking more at her breasts than her face.

Rita said “Thanks Pete, you scrub up well too,” blushing while she said it.

Rick said “Yeah you look o.k. too Carla.”

“Thanks Rick. We'd better go into the church and find where the oldies are sitting”.

We sat ourselves behind Mum, Bill, Peter, and Rick's parents. The service took an hour, and after it was over there were cakes and tea served in the hall which belonged to the church and was also used for Saturday night dances.

There were bottles of locally made soft drinks for the kids to drink, stacked in an old Charles Hope fridge painted in army green. There was a lot of army surplus stuff in western Queensland, The Government used to have auctions once a year in Brisbane, And outback towns would end up buying all sorts of things that were ex-army, from trucks to fridges, like the one at the church hall.

While the adults were have their tea and cakes and talking about 'adult things', us kids, got our soft drinks and some Anzac biscuits and went out to a shed which was set up with table tennis and dart boards. Rita and Pete played me and Rick in a game of darts. Rita and I were really good at darts, because we used to play with the shearers that came to River Downs to shear the sheep. Pete and Rick weren’t bad either, so it was a fairly even match. After about half an hour, we called it quits and went back to the main hall to see what the adults were doing.

“Ahh! There you are,” said Mrs Smith, “Did you all have fun out in the shed?”

“Yeah Mum, me and Pete beat the girls at darts!”

“Yeah! that's because we let you win, little boy.” said Rita.

“Bullsh-- err bugge err, no you didn't we won fair and square!”

“O.K. that's enough arguing you two.” said Mum and Barry at the same time. “It's time to go home so you two boys can get into your homework.”

Helen looked at me and said “What about you Carla? How's your schooling coming along?”

Mum quickly replied, ”Oh I’m home schooling Carla for the rest of this school year, Because we don’t know just how long we'll be staying in Quilpie yet, and Carla has a bit of a medical problem to deal with at the moment.”

'Uh Oh! First bit of trouble' I thought. 'Here come the awkward questions about what is wrong with me.'

“Oh nothing serious I hope?”

“Well, we don't now till I take her to a GP and get a referral to a specialist in Brisbane.”

“Donna let me know when you plan to go. I'll be happy to accompany you and your daughter,-- I wouldn't mind a trip to Brissi”

“Alright Helen it won't be for a couple weeks. I'll let you know when we get the appointment.”

“This is news to me, Rita did you know?” I whispered.

“Yeah, Mum mentioned it a few days ago, but told me not to say anything to you.”

“Why? That's not fair.” I said out loud enough to make everyone turn around and look at me.

“Carla, we'll talk about it when we get home,--alright sweetheart?”

We said our goodbyes to the Smiths, and started walking the short distance home. I was in tears,and Rita put her arm around my shoulder as we walked along. Mum and Uncle Bill were walking a bit in front of us, talking quietly so we couldn't hear what they were talking about.

“It's alright Sis, I think they're working out what to do about your little problem.”

“But it's a a bo u ut meee!”

“They didn't want to get get your hopes up, in case they can't get you an appointment in Brisbane. Now dry your eyes.”

When we got home Mum told us to change out of our church clothes into something more comfortable. I put on a pair of denim shorts, and the white blouse with the red roses sewn on the front. Rita looked through the suitcase that we hadn't unpacked yet and got out a pair of old jeans that she cut off and made shorts out of, and a pink T-shirt .

“Rita you gonna put on a bra?”

“Yeah, 'Spose so.”

She was about to jiggle her breasts again when Mum yelled out from the kitchen, “Hurry up you two.” We didn't look at each each other because we would not be able to stop ourselves from giggling.

We didn't wear shoes a lot until we had to go out into the yard, but we put on thongs (flip/flops) because the prickles were real bad in western Queensland. They were impossible to eradicate because when the lawns were mowed the seeds would spread and the growing cycle would start all over again.

Anyway we got dressed and went to the kitchen where Mum was preparing a lunch of salad and curried eggs, my favourite.

Mum said “Sit down at the table. We'll eat in here. It's easier to clean up later.”

Just as we sat down, Bill came in to the kitchen, “Gees that smells good. I’m really hungry after that walk this morning.”

Mum said “Come and sit down sweetheart and I’ll serve it up.”

“Your Mum's a great cook girls, she'll do real well in the restaurant when we re-open it “

“Yeah but she only calls family sweetheart”

“Rita don't be rude to Bill, and apologise now!”

“Sorry Uncle Bill. What I meant was that you are family. Oh forget it!”

“Rita, I know what you meant to say,darling, - and thanks.”

I said, “Gees will every one relax? We all love being here with you Uncle Bill.”

I went to where he was sitting and hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek.

Mum said “We don't have to have a love in. Carla sit down and have your lunch.”

“Yes mum sorry.”

Once we had finished lunch and cleared the table, and helped Mum wash and dry the dishes Bill said “Come out onto the verandah, we have some talking to do.”

Rita and I sat ourselves in the swinging love seat while Mum and Bill sat across from us in a couple of canvas squatters chairs (deck chairs).

Bill said, “Donna 'luv' do you want to start or will I?”

“Bill you can. After all, it will affect you as much as the rest of us.”

“Right,” said Bill, “Carla, Rita, me and your Mum have come to a decision, but we want to make sure that you two will be happy, to go along with what will happen in the future.

“It looks like, Donna-- err your Mum an me are gettin' along pretty well so you'll be staying here, -- any questions so far?”

I looked at Mum, “What about my 'little problem' Mum? What if I get found out?”

Before Mum could answer, Bill said, “We're going to sort that out in the next couple of weeks Carla; that is if you really want to stay being a girl?”

Rita looked at Uncle Bill, “What do you mean stay? She has always been a girl inside a boy's body; and she also has her twin sister Jean's spirit inside her.

“Look Rita, let Carla speak for herself for once, O.k?”

I had tears forming in my eyes and looked at Uncle Bill. “Uncle Bill, Mum,--I would rather let a 'black red belly snake' bite me and die than go back to pretend being a boy again.”

“O.k .than we'll see if we can make it happen. I don't want to lose another child because of my stupidity.”

“O.k. now dry those beautiful big brown eyes of yours, and we'll tell you what is going to happen tomorrow.”

The discussion went on for another half an hour,and I was told all about the doctors appointment in the morning, so we could get a referral to a special doctor in Brisbane and sort out my future. It was two o’clock on Sunday afternoon and Bill said it was too hot to work in the yard yet, so he went to take a nap. Mum gave me a couple of hours of school work to do, because of the appointment in the morning, and didn't want me falling behind in my lessons. I went to my bedroom and sat at the desk that Mum shifted from another room so I did all my school work without being disturbed, We'd also set up the two way radio so I could still talk to the School of the Air if I wanted to get extra help, which I used from time to time to help me along the way.

Rita went with Mum to the restaurant and started sorting things out so it could be opened up in the next couple of weeks, Mum brought home fish and chips for dinner because it was getting too late to cook anything. We had our meal and said goodnight, and retired to our bedrooms and went to sleep pretty well straight away.

========================
Jean was in my dream, calling to me to come and sit down in a field of lush green grass, but she seemed to be communicating with her mind. I asked her 'where am I?', but nothing was coming out of my mouth. This seemed too real to be a dream I thought. She was dressed in a beautiful blue and white gown. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing a double of myself, only I was still in my pink nightie.

I heard her in my mind when she spoke, “Carla, I will speak to you in your dreams to help you in your life.”

I thought back to her 'Jean is this real?' She smiled back and in my mind she said 'Carla we are as one and we are connected by our spirit, I love you.'

I woke up with a jolt. It was five o’clock in the morning and Rita was in my bed with her arm draped over my waist. “Good morning Sis, are you finished having your conversation now?“

“What! Am I awake or am I still dreaming?”

“Yeah you're awake now, but you were talking in your sleep and trembling, so I came and lay in bed with you.”

“Rita, Jean is talking to me in my dreams by being in my mind, not with her mouth.”

“Well you were saying something, but I couldn't make out what you were saying, and I guessed it was Jean you were communicating with.”

“Wow Rita. She said we are connected by our spirit and she will help me in my life.”

“Well you will probably need all the help you can get if you are going to be a girl.”

We both got up and showered together and got dressed before Mum and Bill got up. I knew I would be seeing the doctor later that morning and wanted to look as girly as possible, so Rita got out a pretty summer dress with floral print and and a thin red belt to go with it. My shoes were brown Mary Janes. They were all from the charity shop we went to last week. She brushed my hair till it was almost dry and put it in a high pony tail with a pink ribbon. I looked in the mirror and said “WOW!”

I looked more like a ten year old, which I thought was great. No sign of a boy anywhere to be seen. Rita dried her hair and got me to braid it into two pigtails. If she didn't get it wet for a couple of days it could stay like that. She than got dressed in jeans and a plain blouse and tennis shoes, because she was going to do some cleaning at the restaurant with Uncle Bill.

Uncle Bill usually ran the service station and caravan park, and his mechanic Henry ran the garage part of the business. Anyway it was still only six o'clock, and Mum and Bill were awake, because we heard them talking and laughing. Who knows what they were getting up to? We went to the kitchen and I helped cook eggs with bacon and made toast in the open fireplace in the stove, and Rita made a pot of tea. There was enough of everything for four people. Then we put Mum and Bill's breakfast on a tray, and we left ours on the table to come back to in a couple of minutes.

I knocked on their bedroom door and said “Room service are you both decent?”

Mum said “Cheeky monkey, yes come in.”

Rita said ”Breakfast in bed for Mum and Dad eer, um Uncle Bill, sorry!”

Uncle Bill said “That sounds pretty good to me luv. I rather like the sound of it.”

Mum said it was o.k. at home but not in public, not yet anyway.

“Thanks you two for breakfast in bed. I could get used to this real quick.” said Mum.

Bill said “I could get used to having two pretty daughters around to spoil me.”

Mum said “Settle down Bill Darling! All in good time.”

Mum and Bill got up and showered together, Saving water is their 'excuse'. Yeah right! Then they got dressed and ready for Monday morning work time.

My appointment with the doctor was at eight thirty, so Mum decided to do a bit of book work for the restaurant.

She said “Carla go do some reading for half an hour.”

Was she kidding? I couldn’t sit still let alone read. I am scared of doctors at the best of times.
Mum and I got in the Rover just after eight o'clock, Mum was dressed in what looked like a dark business suit. Her hair was put up in a large bun and it was the first time I had ever seen her wear heels. They were also red to match the suit, wow! She was beautiful. No wonder Bill had fallen for her in a big way.

We got to the doctor's surgery just before eight thirty, and went to the receptionist sitting at her desk. She was an older lady with a smiling sort of face.

Mum said “Hello, I'm Donna White, and I have an appointment to see doctor Ryan.”

“Yes Mrs White. He will see you and your son first up, is he still outside?

“No it is my youngest daughter I want him to examine.”

“Oh I'm sorry. It says you have a son by the name of Carl, on the register of the Flying Doctor Service which we keep for our records in case we have to use their services in an emergency”

“Well, that's the reason I'm here to get a referral to take Carla to a specialist in gender related problems.”

“Oh Carla. I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you a boy, You certainly don't look like a boy to me.”

“Mrs White, my name is Jan Ryan, I'm Jim's wife and receptionist, and we've been here in Quilpie for over twenty years.”

Mum said “Call me Donna, Jan. Me and my kids are staying with Bill Croft for a while till we work out what were going to do with our lives.”

“Yes I know Donna, I saw you at church yesterday and all I could see was two pretty girls with you”

Mum said “A small town has its advantages doesn’t it?” laughing as she said it.

There was the sound of a little buzzer on her desk.

Jan said “You can go in now, Carla.”

To be continued.

In the next chapter : referral for Brisbane.

The story will resume after a break for the Festive Season.

Previously

There was the sound of a little buzzer on her desk and Jan said “You can go in now Carla.

-----------ooooooooooooo---------

The buzzer made me jump. Jan the doctor's wife nodded at Mum and said “Both of you, in you go.”

Mum grabbed me by the hand and knocked lightly on the door and opened it.

“Ah Mrs White, come in and take a seat. Come along Carla don't be nervous.”

Mum said “Doctor Ryan, thank you for seeing us at such short notice.”

“That's all right. When Bill rang me to make the appointment; he stressed that it is reasonably urgent that I see Carla, to see what we can do for her. Oh and please call me Jim. It's a small town and we all know each other so it just makes it more relaxed to talk to my patients on a first name basis.”

“O.k.” said Mum “I’m Donna.”

“Good; now lets get started on the problem that we have with Carla.” He looked me directly in the eyes and said “Carla you certainly look like a girl to me.”

Mum just sat quietly and listened to what was being said.

I already started forming tears in my eyes, so Mum grabbed my hand and said “It's o.k. Sweetheart. You just take your time and tell Doctor Ryan how you feel inside and don't leave anything out.”

I looked at Mum and said, “Even about what Jean does?”

“Yes Carla, that is where it all started after all, isn't it?”

Anyway, I told Doctor Ryan every thing in my own way,and he didn't interrupt me and after wetting two hankies that Mum pulled out of her bag, he nodded his head and said, “Thanks Carla.”

“O.k. Donna. I guess you have gone through this with Carla right from the start when you lost Carla's twin?”

“Well Carla was never Carl, apart from having a penis. She has always acted in a feminine way, and
Rita has always treated her as a girl; pretty much as soon she was walking. My son John wanted nothing to do with her, and James was gone from sunrise till dark working on the station.”

Doctor Ryan said, “Bill said you were a cook for the station work crew?”

Than Mum started from the beginning and told the doctor her version of what happened after she had given birth to identical twins, a boy and girl. She explained how Jean died from complications with her lungs and how it was too late to save my sister when the Flying Doctor crew arrived. Also how she ended up with post natal depression but had to keep working in the station kitchen to feed the workers,even though Marge; Tom's wife was giving her a hand to do the cooking, and she was feeling very low.

Rita and John spent their days doing school work on the two way radio and I spent a lot of time as a toddler in the kitchen, with Mum and Marge taking turns to entertain me. When John wasn't doing school work, he would hang out in the sheds with Dad and the guys. He was not interested in spending any time with his little brother, so it was Rita that spent all her spare time with me, and of course that's when all the dressing in girl's clothes started.

Anyway, as time went on, Rita and I became closer. She would call me Carla instead of Carl, and Mum explained how about this time, things got strained between her and Dad; and eventually he left, so she didn't have any reason to stop Rita from treating me like her little sister when she played dress up with me. Then by the time I reached eight John went to his father and got a job with a builder in another western town. She finished by saying “And here we are in your surgery.”

Doctor Ryan was amazed at the story Mum was telling him especially the bit about my twin being in my dreams and connecting with me when things go wrong.

He looked at me and said “It is quite common for identical twins to live in each others minds, and just because Jean is not here on earth does not mean her spirit can not be with you.”

I said “I'm not crazy then doctor?”

“No sweetheart, you are far more sane than a lot of people that I treat in this surgery.”

Mum said,”What do you think we can do about Carla's little problem Jim?”

“Right,” he said “I will get you an appointment with a specialist in Brisbane and we will take it from there Donna.”

“How long will it take to get an appointment in Brisbane? Because I am about to open up the restaurant for Bill and I’ll be quite busy once that happens.”

He said, “I won't know till I ring later today, but as soon as I know I’ll ring the garage, and Bill will switch me through to to the restaurant and I'll let you know what time it can be arranged.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and I don't know why but I was so excited that I went and hugged him, and he said, “Wow Carla! If you keep this up I wont be able to charge your mum for my consultation!”

“Bye then Jim we'll talk to you later,”she replied.

We left the doctors surgery and Mum drove me back home to set up some school-work for me to do that day, and then made us some pancakes for morning tea. Afterwards she changed into jeans and a t-shirt and went to do some more organising at the restaurant with Bill and Rita.

I settled down and and did my school work and also had to get on the two way radio to ask some questions about my social studies project The Air School teacher said it was good to hear from me and hoped I was having a good time living in town.

I stayed in my pretty sun dress till I finished my school-work and changed into a denim skirt and t-shirt - 'pink' of course. My hair stayed in the high pony tail with the ribbon in it. Did I tell you I like pink!?

I'd made myself some lunch from left-overs in the fridge and had a glass of milk. It was one o'clock so I decided to do another hour of school work, so if the trip to Brisbane took a few days I wouldn't be behind by the end of the school year. I'd be nine in three months, so if I was sent to the state school the following year I'd be in fifth grade. I hoped they wouldn't try to make me go back to being a boy, because if they did I would run away into the bush and hide. I knew how to catch fish, and I had learned all about bush tucker from the aboriginal workers on River Downs, so I would not go hungry in the bush.

Anyway it was almost two thirty when I thought I'd walk into town to see how Mum and Rita were doing at the restaurant. Half-way there I saw a heap of kids come down the road from the school. It must have been three o'clock and school was being let out. I got a lot of strange looks because I was walking to the school and not away to go home and not in uniform, but none of the boys said anything as I walked through them in the opposite direction, Than, as I got closer to the school there were three girls about my age walking towards me giggling and making a lot of noise when they spotted me.

One of them said “G'day. You're the new girl I saw with Ricky Smith and his brother at church yesterday aren’t you?”

“Yep that's me, I'm Carla White! What's your name?”

“I'm Jenny, that's Brenda and June," and then she asked, “How come you're not going to school?”

After I explained where I came from and what was happening with my schooling.

Jenny said “We normally do our home work, and then go to the park down the road for awhile If you want be our friend. you can join us there any afternoon if you want!”

“O.k.” I said “I'll see ya later, bye.”

Just as I started to walk past the school Ricky came out of his house to the front gate, “G'day Carla what you doin' in town”?

“Just goin' to see if I can help out down at the restaurant with Mum and Rita, Do you want to come too?”

“Yeah. I'll just ask Mum if I can go. I don't have any homework to do today. Hang on a tick and I'll ask!”

He came back out with his Mum behind him at the front door, “Hello Carla, Ricky will double you on his bike if that is o.k. with you?”

“Yes Mrs Smith, we left our bikes back at River Downs because there wasn't enough room on the ute.”

“O.k. you two. Be careful on the road, and Ricky be home before dark.”

“Yes Mum,” he said rolling his eyes,and whispered “I'm not a baby Mum.”

It was only a couple of blocks away from the restaurant so it didn't take long to get there but it was a bit awkward trying to get on to the cross bar wearing a skirt and not giving people a show of my knickers when I got off outside the restaurant. Mum was standing on the footpath and said “Wear jeans or shorts next time you double on a boys bike Carla. That way you wont show us all what colour panties you are wearing.”

Both me and Rick went as red as beetroots, and Mum said as she walked back inside “Your bikes will be here in a couple of days on the back of the mail truck.”

Rick stayed till five o'clock and got on his bike and rode home before it got dark, but before he went, I went outside with him to say bye and see him later, when he said “Carla I really like you, and I'm glad you saved me in the river the other day.”

I said “I couldn't let a friend drown now could I?" and kissed him on the cheek,

Rick took off with a red face once more, Rita said “I saw you do that, you little flirt, and you talk about me and Pete!”

Mum said “I'll just tell Bill we’re heading off home to get the dinner prepared for later. You two lock up here and get in the Rover, I'll be back in a tick.”

Driving home Mum said “That was nice of Ricky to come and give us a hand to get things ready in the restaurant wasn't it?”

“He's got the hots for our little flirt here hasn't he?” said Rita.

“You're only jealous because Pete hasn't kissed you yet, so there!”

“Stop that you two! Carla you had better be careful, don't you think?

“Yeah and stop kissing him Carla. What if finds out that you still got a willy?”

That set me off and I started to cry. Rita said “I'm sorry Sis, I just don't want you to get hurt. Ricky and Pete don't know about you, and I really don't know what would happen if they found out.”

Mum said,”I've had a word with Mr Smith and told him you had a medical problem, and if you start going to school here, there would be special rules for you Carla.”

“Mum when will we be going to Brisbane?”

“Patience sweetheart. It's only been a few hours since we saw Doctor Ryan. It'll take a couple of days to get an answer back from the doctor in Brisbane.”

We arrived home and went to our room to get a change of clothes and went to take a shower and get the dirt off us from scrubbing everything down in the restaurant kitchen. When we were out of the bathroom, Mum went in and got cleaned up as well.

Mum said as she was closing the door “Go and peel some spuds and carrots.” They came from the vegie garden in the back yard. We went into the kitchen and got the spuds, carrots and also a pumpkin out of the box in the walk-in pantry. We'd had all the peeling and cutting up done by the time Mum came back from having a shower.

The kitchen had a shop type freezer in one corner of the room and Mum got out some frozen beans that Uncle Bill put in it from the last crop he grew in the back yard. The same freezer also had a stack of meat stored at one end, so Mum got some out to defrost it in the oven, with the door open so it would defrost and not cook. When Bill came in the kitchen both me and Rita gave him a hug and kissed him on both cheeks at the same time and said in unison “Hello Dad.”

Bill said “Aww you two!,Donna did you put em up to that?”

“Don't look at me Bill honey,they just think of you as their Dad now.”

Bill teared up a bit and said “This feels real good to have two pretty girls fussing over me, and their Mum looking after me as well.”

Mum than gave our new Dad a kiss on the lips and said “Bill get used to this because I think I like being here with you as much as the girls do. Now go and have your shower, and then we can all sit down have dinner out on the verandah in the cool. Right girls, go set the table on the verandah, and we'll dish up as soon as Bill, your new Dad gets out of the shower, but please no more love-ins till later alright?”

We set the table out on the verandah, while Mum got a serving trolley from a store room at the other end of the house and wheeled it into the kitchen to bring the food out to the verandah. Bill was all cleaned up and wearing a pair grey slacks and polo type t-shirt, Rita said, “Dad you look really nice when you dress up a little bit
”
I said “Daddy I think you are yummy!!”

Just than Mum came out with the food on the trolley and said “I thought I told you two no more love-ins “

Bill said “Donna, they're just having some fun, and I certainly enjoy being called Daddy by Carla.”

Mum said “Well if that is what you want Bill, I wont stop them from now on, but you will have to explain to people why they now call you their father.”

“Not to many people will challenge me if they know what’s good for their friendship with me, Donna.”

“O.k. Bill. I’ll have to trust your judgement on that." replied Mum.

“Right Rita, you dish up the veggies, and I’ll go back and get the lamb chops off the stove,and we can eat.”

We finished the main meal, when Daddy said “Right whose for ice cream for desert?”

Mum said “Only one problem we don't have any.”

Daddy winked at me, “Carla luv, there's some in the freezer I brought home. Go and bring it out with some plates and spoons.”

“Yes Daddy,” I said. Mum rolled her eyes and shook her head, but smiled at Daddy with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Rita jumped up and said “I'll help you Sis."

When we got to the freezer Rita said said “I didn't think Mum would let you get away with that."

“With what?”

“Calling Bill Daddy, Dummy!”

“Why? You called him Dad first. I'm younger and allowed to call him Daddy.”

“O.k, we'd better get this ice cream out to the verandah or it will melt.”

When we got out there, Mum had a basket with strawberries she got from the garden, while we were at the freezer arguing about what to call Bill.

We'd finished desert and started to clear the table when Daddy said, “Will everyone sit down for a bit? I want to say something and I want to say it to to all three of you.” and than he took Mum's hands in his and said, “Donna I'm afraid I've fallen in love with you, and want to look after you and your girls if you'll have me?”

Mum was still holding Daddy’s hands and said “Bill sweetheart! I feel the same way, and the girls have already shown you how they feel about you.”

Rita said, “At least you haven’t rejected Carla like my other dad, and brother did. I'd like you to be my Dad,and I know Carla loves her new Daddy.”

We finished clearing the table , did the washing up and went to our bedrooms when Mum came to our room and sat on my bed and said, “I hope you kids are o.k. with all this?”

Rita came over to my bed and sat down next to Mum and put her arm around Mum's shoulder and said, “Mum you deserve some happiness in your life after that no good father of ours left us like he did.”

I hugged mum from the other side and agreed with Rita.

Mum got up and said “I love you girls. Oh by the way Rita, I forgot all about your bra fitting today. We'll do it tomorrow morning first up ok?”

“Good night Mum” we said in unison. We were asleep in minutes.

I didn't have any dreams that I could remember as I woke up the next morning, so Rita was still asleep in her own bed. I wondered when I would see Jean in my dreams again. It seemed to happen just prior to waking up from a deep sleep. I am going to have to ask the doctor in Brisbane about that I thought to myself.

I was going to go to the bathroom to pee, and thought I'd have my shower while I was there.

“Morning Sis, you're up early.”

“Yeah weak bladder, gotta go!”

“Wait up I'll come with ya,”

“What to watch me?”

“No! silly so we can have a shower before Mum and Dad get up.”

“O.k. I'll just grab the towels, but I get to use dunny first”

“Hurry up or I'll be sitting on my sister to do it.”

Mum opened her bedroom door “Hurry up you two or I'll be sitting on both of you.”

“That got us getting the giggles, and we both almost wet our knickers.”

Anyway we had our shower together like we normally did and got dressed.

We both decided to wear jeans and t-shirts. Mine was 'pink' of course, and Rita had on a blue one. We had thongs for footwear.

“Rita,” I said “What about a bra?”

“What about a bra?”

“Aren’t you gonna wear one?”

“Why bother? I'll only have to take it off at the dress shop.”

“Yeah 'spose so, but Mum won't be happy with your nipples showing.”

“Stop goin' on! I'll put some band-aids on 'em alright?”

I said, “Yeah just sayin', Geees!”

Anyway we went to the kitchen where our new Daddy had breakfast ready for us,

“Sit down kids. Ya Mum will be ready in a minute too. We'll all go in to the shop today. We want to open the restaurant next week, so it'll be all hands on deck for a couple of days, o.k?”

We both said “Yes Daddy” in unison.

Every time we did that Daddy has a little chuckle. After Mum came in to the kitchen we had breakfast, got in the car and went straight to the restaurant. Rita asked Mum about the bra fitting, and Mum told her as soon as Mary Winton's shop was open she would take her there. That would be at nine o'clock and it was only seven thirty so we could do a bit of work first. Daddy was arranging all the restaurant furniture while the rest of us sorted out the kitchen. It was all clean, and the fridges had to be stocked with food for Mum to start cooking when the first customers came, probably from the caravan park.

I said Mum “What about my school-work?”

“You'll be right for a coupla days Carla. Your work is well ahead of schedule so stop worrying so much.”

At nine o'clock we three ladies went for a walk down to the dress shop. Mary was at the front of the shop just, opening the door when we got there.

“Oh hello ladies,” she said. I always feel good when I’m included in that.

“G'day, Mary. We need to have you measure Rita for some bras, if you not too busy?”

“Come on in and we'll see what we can do for you Rita.”

I was included in everything that went on and was amazed at the different type of bras there were, Mum bought three bras for Rita and a couple for herself, all the fitting was done with me looking on, being quite jealous that I had no reason to wear one. 'Oh well in a couple of years.' I thought. I ended up with some vests and and six more knickers,so I was happy not to miss out.

When we got back to the restaurant, Daddy asked me if I was ready to go to the big smoke, I said “I dunno. Why Daddy?”

“Well it looks like you have an appointment to see a doctor San Lee in Brisbane in two weeks time. While you lot were spending money at Mary's, Jim Ryan rang. Donna you'd better ring Jan and get all the details.”

I stood there with my mouth open, Mum said, “Sweetheart, close your mouth or you'll start catching flies.”

Rita said, ”Can I come to Brisbane too Mum?”

Mum looked at Rita and said “I think you might be needed in the restaurant by then, but there will be lots of trips to Brisbane, if Carla gets the go ahead with her little problem to be fixed.”

We spent the rest of the day getting everything ready to open the restaurant next Monday, Mum also rang Jan to get all the info for the trip to Brisbane, and rang Ricky's Mum to let her know If she was still interested in going to Brisbane with us. I did lots of extra school work in the next two weeks to make up for the time that we'll be away.

I had a lot of restless nights till the next two weeks were up. Mum Rita and Daddy had opened the restaurant as planned and Rita was learning the ropes. Daddy has arranged for his mechanic Henry's wife Linda to help run the shop while me and Mum were away.

To be continued.

===========================
Next time the big trip to the big smoke

Previously

It was two weeks till I had an appointment in Brisbane. Mum had opened up the the restaurant and arranged for Linda, Henry’s wife to help Rita and Daddy with the running of the restaurant while we were away in Brisbane.

Oooo000oooo

By the time Friday morning arrived I was on tenterhooks. I'd done a lot of school work and didn't have any worry about falling behind, but I didn't sleep well the last couple of nights worrying about flying. We were going to take the bus to Charleville and then board a Trans Australian Airline 'DC3' to fly all the way to Brisbane. Mum had packed enough clothes to stay in Brisbane for two weeks if necessary just in case we had more appointments to attended to. At seven o'clock we were ready to go. Rita came with us to see us off at the bus stop - Daddy loaded our luggage into the trunk of the car and we set of to pick up Rick's mum Helen on the way. She was coming with us to spend some time with Mum and me In Brisbane, She also wanted to do some clothes shopping for her family.

As Daddy pulled up in front of her house she was waiting with her suitcase at the front gate with the boys and Mr Smith. They were all fussing about her flying for the first time.

I said “Don't worry it is the first time for me too.”

Mum said “Nothing to it. You just get on and hang on to your britches.” with a grin on her face.

So they hugged Helen and said their goodbyes and Pete put her suitcase in the trunk with the rest of the luggage. Ricky came and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said “I hope you'll be o.k. in Brisbane Carla! I'll miss not having you around.”

We got in the car and Daddy drove to the bus stop - which is out the front of his service station. The Greyhound bus was already there and people were already starting to board, probably to get the best seats. Daddy and Mum were hugging and saying goodbye, Rita hugged me and said I'm going to miss you Carla”, And we both had tears in our eyes. I was the last one to get on the bus. Mum and Helen had a seat right behind the driver I sat right beside the motor right in the front of the bus ,Just as well I was wearing jeans or it would have been impossible not to show my knickers to everyone on the bus. The driver had a few words with Daddy — because the service station handled all the ticket sales for the bus service.

It took a couple of hours to get to Charleville and it was ten o'clock when we arrived, so we decide to have morning tea at the service station where the bus dropped us off. It went to the airport and took our luggage there. Once we had our morning tea we got a taxi to the airport.

The flight was due to leave at eleven o'clock — so we had plenty of time to get to the airport, which was called an 'aerodrome' in those days. The plane was being refueled and all the baggage was being loaded into the belly of the plane. The DC3 only took about forty people plus crew, There were no meals as such but they offered you tea and bickies.

I got a window seat because I wanted to see what the big golden eagles saw when they were high up circling the paddock where all the little lambs had just been born. Then they would swoop down and grab them with their sharp talons and tear them up in flight to eat them .

Mum and Helen were sitting opposite on the other side of the aisle, and Helen kept her seat belt done up tight.

After three hours the hostess asked us to put our seat belts back on as we were circling Brisbane and would be landing in ten minutes time. As we reduced altitude I could see the houses and streets and could see why it is called the 'big smoke' because there was a blue haze hanging over the city.

I said “Mum is that smog in the air?”

She replied "It is most likely smoke from all the bush fires that have been burning in the hills around Brisbane the last couple of days."

When the plane landed it made a lot of noise with its tyres on the runway and that freaked me and Helen out.

It soon to a stop outside three big 'igloo' type buildings. I asked Mum what they were and she said, "They were left here by the Americans after the war and they were used as hangers for war planes. The Queensland government converted them to an airport terminal after the war. Anyway the history lesson is over."

When the plane's propellers stopped turning we were allowed to get off. We walked into the funny looking building and got our luggage, and made our way out to the front of the building to look for a taxi to take us to our hotel. We went to the black and white taxi rank and a driver came up to Mum and asked her where we wanted to go.

Mum told him the Belleville Hotel, so he loaded our things into the trunk and and started driving into the city, along a road called Kingsford Smith Drive. We eventually pulled up outside the Belleville Hotel and the driver asked a doorman to get a trolley to take our luggage up to our room. A teenage bellhop came to help us with our baggage.

Mum asked the driver how much for the fare, when Helen said she would get it this time. Mum said o.k. but she would pay for the next one. Helen paid the driver and Mum asked for his card so we could use him next time. We followed the bellboy with our luggage to the reception desk where Mum asked for the key to our room. It is the first time in I have been in a lift and was wondering where the door handle was when the guy pushed a button and the doors slid open much to my amazement.

The boy said “Which room lady?”

Mum looked at the tag and said “Room eighty on the third floor young man, and what's your name?”

“Alan” he replied and said no more. Helen smiled at me and winked. I could see the boy was blushing.

We got out of the lift and our room was just down the corridor. Mum opened the door so he could bring all our things into the room. Before he could leave Mum gave him ten shillings for his troubles.

He said “Thanks' and was gone.

Mum said “A man of few words” and laughed.

Once Mum and Helen unpacked the suitcases and put everything away we sorted out where we would be sleeping, I would sleep with Mum in the double bed and Helen could have the single. The bedroom had an en suite so there was a bath, shower and toilet in the one room. There was also a type of sitting room with a desk and phone, and in this room there was a jug and little fridge so we could make a cup of tea. It all felt very posh. By the time all the clothes were put away we were tired, and made a cup of tea and then had a lie down.

I was too excited to stay on the bed so decide to have a bath in the posh bathroom. There was a bottle of bubble-bath in the room so I tipped half a bottle in the bath tub and filled the tub up with water. I stripped off and climbed in and sank into the bubbles and almost vanished from sight. I was almost asleep when I hear Mum say, “Carla, if you stay in there any longer you will melt”

I said “Will my willy melt as well?” before I realised what I said. I hoped that Helen didn't hear me because I didn't think she knew the truth about me.

Mum said "Hurry up and get out I need to use the toilet." I jumped up without thinking. I was standing there without a stitch on and Helen was standing at the door looking at my little willy and said “Don't worry sweetheart. I know what is happening to you and I'm fine with it.”

Mum said “What about the boys?”

Helen replied “Barry is going to explain everything to them while we are away. They will understand and besides the boys absolutely love both your girls. When Barry explains about gender dysphoria they will be fine.”

By this time I had a towel wrapped around me and I was sitting on the bed crying. Mum had to use the toilet so Helen sat next to me and hugged me till I calmed down.

“Oh sweetheart don't cry I understand what is happening to you. Before I married Barry I worked in childcare and believe me you're not the only little girl with a birth defect. Now dry those pretty brown eyes and get dressed so we can go down to the dining room and have dinner.

Mum helped me get dressed in a pink sun dress that had a bow at the back that I couldn't tie myself. My shoes were white open sandals. While Mum was getting ready, Helen got her hair dryer out of her make up bag and had my hair dry in minutes and plaited my hair into two pony tails with pink ribbons.

Mum said, “Helen, I can see you and my daughter are getting on real well. If you want I can loan her to you when we get back — just in case you get sick of dealing with your boys.”

Helen said, “I might just take you upon that Donna, a Mum can't spoil boys like she can a daughter can she?”

I said, “Do you think Ricky will still want to be my friend when he finds out my little problem?”

“Of course he will" said Helen, "My boys might talk tough but they both have a heart of gold, so stop being such a worry wart.”

There was a black and white television in the room and I turned it on while Helen got ready. Tv was a bit of a novelty for me as there was no reception in Quilpie. Helen got dressed in full view of me so I guessed she was o.k. with me being transgendered.

It was Friday night and the dining room was packed out, but Mum had booked a table at the desk when we booked in and a waiter took us to our table and held the chairs out for us to sit. I could get used to this I thought.

“Wow this is posh,” I said, “Can we really afford to pay for all this?”

“Yes dear. I have an insurance policy that I cashed in which your grandparents took out when I was born. There is quite a bit of money to draw on when needed.”

We had our meal and stayed for about half an hour to listen to the man playing a piano and then went back up to our room. Mum and Helen watched a bit of tv and I slipped into the big bed and closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep so I could hear what what was being said. I know that was being a little bit naughty but I was a bit of a sticky beak like all little girls right? But Mum and Helen only talked about what we were going to be doing tomorrow. So much for my eavesdropping. Serves me right didn't it?

When I went to sleep I found myself in the same field again with the same nightie I had on the last time I had this dream. I started to walk towards the the figure that was in the same blue and white gown as before. As I got closer I recognised the girl that looked so like me it was like looking in a mirror.

This time though I could hear her speaking she said, “Hello Carla you can hear me speak now that you know that I am your sister Jean. When you came to my grave to say goodbye you told me that you would take me with you, and let me live my life inside you and see things through your eyes. God is allowing me to be in your soul to be with you in spirit.” She smiled at me and faded before I could say anything back.

It was morning and Mum was holding me in her arms with Helen looking on with concern on her face. I had tears running down my face but I was not trembling like last time Jean came to me in a dream.

Mum said “It's o.k. sweetheart you're awake now. Do you want to tell me what happened in your dream this time?”

“I can hear Jean now Mum. She talks to me and sounds just like me.”

“Well she is the other half of your soul after all. We will see what the doctor has to say about your dreams, but I think that Jean is inside you for the rest of your life.”

Helen listened in awe as Mum explained about me and my identical twin sister who had passed away three hours after we were born.

Helen just said in a matter of fact way “Dual souls” and shrugged her shoulders as it was nothing new. She held both my hands and looked into my eyes and said “Carla sweetheart, you really are a very lucky little girl. The spirit world is very real and your twin sister will be with you till the time comes for you to join her in that realm.

Mum said, “This thing is normal then?”

“Yes, especially when an identical twin dies at birth”, she replied. “Carla I'll tell you how I know about it but not now.”

Mum said, “That'll be interesting.”

All this made me feel a lot better about my dreams, because I was always too scared to talk about it much in case people thought I was crazy. We all got dressed in jeans , T-shirt and comfortable shoes. We went down to have breakfast and head off to do some shopping,

Another first for me were trams. They were all open and made a lot of noise and had a conductor on board that sold you the tickets. We arrived out the front of a big building that said McWhirters and it was the biggest department store I had ever seen and it had escalators to take you up and down the floors without having to walk. This was so much fun! Mum and Helen went up and down to different departments and bought heaps of stuff. While they did their shopping Mum gave me ten pounds and let me loose in the jewellery section. I spent half on myself and half on stuff for Rita. We ended up with too many bags to go on the tram so Mum went to a phone box and rang the taxi driver that gave her his card yesterday. The cab arrived within five minutes, and the driver got out to open the trunk to put all the bags in.

He said ”I see you have spent all your money”

Mum said, “Yeah we don't hit the city very often.”

The driver said “Thanks for using me again. By the way my name is Tony.”

Mum said “I'm Donna and this is Helen, and this is my youngest daughter Carla.”

Tony gave us a hand to take every thing up to our room. Mum paid him and told him she will call him next time we needed him. It was one pm and they were still serving lunch in the dining room so we went down and had a salad lunch. The rest of the day we spent in our room having a fashion show and at some stage were all in our undies and giggling when Helen said she felt like a teenager with grey hair. Mum said next time we will bring Rita so she can buy all new clothes for herself as well.

Later Mum ordered dinner to be brought up to our room. We watched a movie and went to bed at nine o'clock and went to sleep as soon as our heads hit the pillows.

On Sunday morning we went to a church service in a really big church, I thought it was called a Cathedral. I couldn't get over how big everything was in the city.

It was Monday morning and I was in a panic about what to wear to my docto'rs appointment, because I wanted to look really girly so the doctor wouldn't think I was a boy.

Helen gave me a big hug and said ”Just be yourself and the doctor wont be able to see a boy anywhere o.k?”

Mum rang Tony and told him to pick us up and take us to Spring Hill, where the doctor's surgery was. Tony came and took us there and told Mum to ring him when we wanted to go back to the hotel.

I was in my normal panic mode again and Mum said “Lets go and sit down in the foyer and relax for a bit”. We found a seat and sat down.

Mum said, “Right Carla, I want you to close your eyes and concentrate and see if Jean is with you.”

I did as Mum asked and said in my mind 'Jean where are you?' She was immediately in my head and said 'Relax Carla we are doing this together remember?'

I opened my eyes and said “I am ready to do this Mum.”

The doctors room was on the eight floor. We approached the receptionist's desk and gave our name to the lady. She told us to take a seat and we would be next to go in. I closed my eyes. Jean was still there. Mum gave my hand a squeeze.

The doctors door opened and a girl about my age and her mother came out and said “Goodbye doctor San Lee we'll see you soon.”

The doctor was a Chinese lady with a really pleasant smile which put me at ease straight away. She said “Hello. Come through, Carla isn't it?”

“Yes that right doctor,” I replied.

"Oh call me Rose, and take seat.”

She did not have an accent so she must have been born in Australia.

“Alright,” said Rose “Lets have a look at what Doctor Ryan has sent me in his letter of referral.”

The doctor looked straight at me and said “My goodness, Jim is right. I can't see a boy sitting in front of me.”

Trans Australia Airlines DC3

Belleville Hotel, Brisbane.

Next time blood tests

Previously:

“Alright,” said Rose “Lets have look at what Doctor Ryan has sent me in his letter of referral.”

The doctor took of her glasses and looked at me and said “My goodness Jim is right. I can't see a boy in front of me.”

Doctor San-lee put me at ease as soon as she started talking to me.

She said, “Now Carla, I want you to call me Rose alright?”

“Yes ma'am err Rose. Thank you,” I replied.

Mum said, “Rose I want to thank you for seeing Carla so quickly.”

Rose said, “As a psychiatrist I am especially interested in cases like Carla's because of the twin factor.”

Mum replied, “I see Jim Ryan didn't leave anything out of his letter to you.”

“No. I have known Jim since university, He is a very dedicated man to his patients, and sometimes I wish he and Jan weren’t so far away. Anyway to the business in hand, Carla! I need you to tell me in your own words what you feel inside you, so I can start to sort out your young life.”

“Well, it sort of started when I was about four years old when my sister Rita used to play dress up with me.”

I told her all that I could remember about how my brother and dad treated me, and that, although I was supposed to be a boy, when Rita looked after me I always felt wrong in boys clothes. I stayed away from my brother as much as possible because he would always tease me and threatened to tell Dad about Rita and me going to the workmen's empty quarters to play dress up. When I got a little bit older Rita would take me for walks to my twin sister's grave while I was dressed as a girl. Mum always told us not to let my Dad see us when I was dressed in Rita's old dresses.

“He would have belted us both,” I said, “Mum, I was really scared of John and Dad and I thought he would hurt you too.”

Mum had tears running down her cheeks which set me off as well. She came and sat next to me and took my hands in hers and said “Darling, I know how hard this is for you. Would like to stop for a while?”

I couldn't answer because I was sobbing now.

Rose said “Alright, we all need a break.” Tears were in her eyes as well. She got up and opened the door to the receptionist area and asked someone to organise tea and cakes for us. All three of us went to the bathroom attached to the office and washed our faces. By the time we came back into the office there was a lady arranging three tea cups and saucers and a plate of cup cakes on a small table beside the chairs.

Rose said “Donna, you have a very intelligent daughter, and yes, Carla has a "female" brain. What we have to do is sort out the obvious. How long can you both stay in Brisbane, Donna?”

“A week is all we can manage at the moment. I have just opened up a restaurant in Quilpie and left Rita in charged of the kitchen.”

Rose said, “That's fine. We can get a lot done in that time. Carla, I'm afraid you will feel like a pin cushion by the time you go home.”

She rang the pathology lab in the same building, and arranged for me to give them gallons of blood. Mum accompanied me to the lab which was on the ground floor. I was getting used to using the lifts and knew how to operate them on my own now.

They took three vials of blood, and then gave me some type of very sweet stuff to drink. After waiting for an hour they took another gallon out of my other arm. By this time I started to feel quite weak and was told by a nurse to go into the other room and lie down on the bed. Mum went out to a cafeteria on the same floor to get me some sandwiches and a soft drink. When she come back I must have fallen asleep because she was gently stroking my hair.

“Wake up sweetheart. You have to have something to eat and drink, or you will end up with an enormous headache, but fluids will make you feel better in a little while.”

We were told we could go home for now and they would send the results to Doctor San-lee later that day. We went back up to the doctors receptionist to find out when to come back.

The receptionist said “Oh I’m sorry I forgot to tell you before you went down to the lab Your appointment is at ten am tomorrow.
”
Mum looked at the name tag on the girls top and said, “Thank you Cindy we'll see you then.”

I was still feeling a bit wobbly, so we didn't take a bus like we were going to. Mum found a public phone in the foyer and called Tony to come in his taxi to take us back to the hotel.

Tony arrive within five minutes and said, “'Geeze' Donna! If this keeps up I’ll have to take you home and meet the missus to have a meal, 'Italian style' mind.”

Mum replied “Tony I think I might take you up on that, I'd like to meet your wife.”

Tony said “You have my phone number. What is the number on your phone in your room at Belleville?”

Mum said, “Eighty silly!”

Tom laughed and said “Of course it is, I knew that. Just testing to see if you were paying attention Donna!".

This banter kept up all the way back to the hotel. 'Oldies are funny' I thought.

Mum told Tony to pick us up again in the morning for my next stint with Doctor Rose.

When we got back to the hotel room, Helen was getting dressed to go down for lunch in the dining room. Mum said we would join her in a few minutes after we freshened up a bit. Just as we were about to leave, the phone on the desk rang and made us both jump.

It was Tony. He said if we could make it for lunch tomorrow with him and his wife that would be great.
Mum said yes we would be honoured to and would it be alright if we bring Helen along as well?

“Of course! There is always room for another one at 'Isabella's' table,” he replied.

We went down to the dining room and saw Helen wave to us to come over to the table she had commandeered for us. We had our lunch and the three of us went up to the room to have a nap. I slept for a couple of hours. When I woke up and looked at Mum's little travel clock, it was three o'clock, so I got up and went to the bathroom and relieved my full bladder. When I came back into the bedroom I realised I was alone and panicked. There was a note on the desk next to the phone. I picked it up with shaky hands and read what Mum had written.

'Carla don't panic. We have gone for a walk. Stay in the room and watch some tv till we come back.'

I went to the little fridge and got a can of Coke and turned on the tv. About half an hour later Mum and Helen were back from their walk and were carrying some shopping bags and put them on the bed.

Mum said “Did you have a nice nap Missy?”

“Yerr. They must have drained too much blood out of me this morning and made me weak.”

Helen said “Carla honey you are a funny little thing aren’t you?” and laughed.

I didn't get the joke.

“Carla, while we were out walking we came across a second-hand clothes shop and had a look inside. Well as you can see we brought some really nice things back for you to try on. We can take them back and exchange them if they don't fit you.”

“Mum, does that make me a second-hand rose?”

“No darling, just an inexpensive one,” she laughed.

Helen said “Any wonder Ricky likes you so much Carla - you have made him come out of his shell since you befriended him.”

“Yeah he's my boyfriend.”

Mum said, “Err- um you're a bit young to call him your boyfriend - maybe good friends, hmmm?”

“Yeah Mummy, whatever.” I said rolling my eyes.

Helen said, “I’m going to miss this banter when I get back home.”

I said “You can always adopt me and take me home if you want.”

After Mum and Helen controlled themselves from laughing, Mum said, “Right kid strip off to your undies and lets see what fits you.”

“Ok Mummy,”I said. For some reason I started to feel more like a girl when I called her Mummy.

“Carla sweetheart I don't mind you calling me Mummy. It makes me realise how much of a little girl you really are.”

“Thanks Mummy.” I said, getting used to the sound of it.

Helen was smiling at me and nodding her head in approval.

“Alright enough of the this love in! And start trying on some of these skirts and blouses.”

There were two denim skirts, one blue and one pink with lace around the hem, I liked that they had elastic bands instead of belt loops. The next skirt was a silky pink with white flowers embroidered onto it. Mummy knows how much I like pink. The fit was perfect on all three skirts. Next came the blouses. Two were white and one yellow. All had puffy sleeves and v-neck openings.

I said “Mummy, these have still got new tags on them.”

“Yes dear. They are all factory seconds but are new.”

There was also an assortment of ribbons and a nice pair of flats and red sandals.

“Wow Mummy! Can I wear the pink skirt and yellow blouse tomorrow when we go to the see Doctor Rose?”

“Yes Carla. You like you new clothes then?”

I don’t know why but I started to cry and ran into Mummy's waiting arms.

She held me and said, “Darling let your emotions come out.” and she stroked my hair till I stopped crying. She said, you can have a good talk to the doctor in the morning. Later we had dinner delivered to our room. We watched a move on the tv, and went to bed after that.

Next morning after Tony once again delivered us safely to our destination, he reminded us about having lunch at his place when he picked us up later. Helen came with us as far as the medical building and said she was going to have some more retail therapy and buy herself some more things.

In the lift going up to the eighth floor I started to tremble and couldn't stop. The lift stopped and the door opened. The Doctor's reception area was directly opposite the lift so Mum half carried me through the door and asked Cindy to see if Rose could come and calm me down. Cindy buzzed the doctors office and Rose came out straight away

She said “My God, what has brought this on Carla?”

I was holding on to Mummy and couldn’t get any words out and started to cry.

Mummy said , “I think she is having a panic attack.”

Rose said “Bring her in to my surgery and lay her down on the couch Donna”

The doctor jabbed me with a needle and I seemed float into a dream, and there she was - my sister Jean, still in that beautiful blue and white gown. She was not in that green field as before but seemed to be in the room with me.

I said “Jean what are you doing here?” with my voice not in my mind.

“Carla I'm here to comfort you. Now when you wake up from this dream please be calm.”

“But I can hear you speak. So are you in this room? Can Mummy see you too?”

“No Carla only you and I have this connection, and in time you will learn how to talk to me any time you want to.”

“Jean I have so many questions to ask you.”

“Not now my sister. Now be calm.”

Jean started to fade and I woke up with a start. Mummy was still holding me and she said, “Hello sweetheart. Are we back in the land of the living then?”

“Mummy Jean is here in this room.”

“Well I didn't see her, but I heard the one side conversation you were obviously having with her.”

“I can hear her speak. She told me to be calm and said in time I will be able to talk with her any time I want, and then I woke up.”

Mummy said, “I wish I could see her like you can Carla. She is the other half of you.”

“Mummy she said the connection is only with me.”

As this was happening Rose was listening to every thing I was saying and had a tape recorder going.

Doctor Rose said, “Carla I’m sorry I had to give an injection to help calm you down, but you were about to have a seizure.”

She then said, “Donna this is a fascinating case and it is going to make a very interesting case study in a research project on twins that I’m involved in”

Mummy replied “Rose, does that mean you will help my child become who she is on the inside as well as a matching body?”

“Yes Donna, and to make it easy I will give my time for free,- as long as you agree to let me to call in other people for my study, and I will want to publish a paper on it. Now young Missy, if you have calmed down I want you to tell your Mum when you are about to go into panic mode so she can calm you down before it gets to the stage it did this morning.”

“Yes ma'am, Rose," I said.

“Ok, all the tests are in and it is just as we expected you are more girl than boy. I suspect your twin had something to do with that while you were still in your Mummy's tummy. So when I talk to some of my colleges in a couple of days I will work out a course of action.”

Mummy said “So what happens now Rose? We have to get back home before next Monday.”

“Well,” Rose said, “There is nothing I can do till I do the necessary research and that might take a few days so you may as well go home, - I will contact Jim Ryan and get him to deal with any medication once I decide what that will be.”

Mummy said, “When will we need to come back to Brisbane, Rose?”

“Donna, I will let Jim know when to make the next appointment to come back down to see me.”

Rose gave Mummy a hug, and then hugged me and said “Now you remember what I told you about your panic attacks, ok?”

We said our goodbyes and went down to the lobby to ring Tony to pick us up. Helen was sitting in a lounge area in the lobby with some more shopping bags. Tony arrived soon after and we left to go to his home for lunch.

Mummy said “Tony what is your surname?”

Tony laughed and replied “Bagla. Nice and easy, eh?”

Mummy and Helen laughed and both said at the same time “Italian”

Tony said “Yep but born and bred in Brissi”

“What about you Carla, where were you born?”

“On River Downs,” I replied.

“That's a sheep station isn't it?”

“Yeah and my twin is still there in the peace and quiet.”

“What? She's not living with you then?”

“Yer, she is sorta,” I said. Tony knew straight away what I was talking about.

He said “Carla, I have a sister I lost when I was ten years old and I still feel her spirit around
me thirty years later.”

I said “Was she your twin like my sister Jean?”

“No Carla, she was a year older than me - but we were very close. Me and Anna did everything together. I still miss her very much even after all this time.”

“I see Jean in my dreams and she communicates with me — but she is not a baby like when she died. She looks just like me and sounds like me too.”

Tony said “Dual souls Carla, that's what identical means. Shared spirit if you like. There have been studies done on the subject for years”

Mummy said, “That is what is about to happen in Carla's case Tony. Doctor San—lee has offered to treat Carla for free as long as we agreed that she could write a paper on the findings that she and her colleagues are conducting.

Tony looked at me as I was sitting in the front seat beside him and said, “Carla you don’t seem to look to sick to me, in fact you look the picture of health.”

I looked around at Mummy and she shrugged her shoulders, “Carla you have to deal with questions like this in the future. “Tony is a friend and I think we can trust him don’t you?”

I took a deep breath and said, “Um err Tony I am a girl with a plumbing problem and don’t look like a proper girl down there.” I was feeling really hot in the face and must have been as red as beetroot.

Tony replied, “Is that all Carla? They can fix that no worries. I have a couple of transsexual friends in the taxi business, not bad lookin' sheilas either.”

Mummy said “Thank you Tony. Not everyone will be able to be told so openly. Carla is going to need to be very careful who she tells about her little problem.”

“Well!” said Tony “You will be fine Carla, I don’t see anything but a pretty little girl sitting next to me.”

I looked around at Mummy and Helen in the back and they both winked at me. Tony started to slow down and turn into a big old house with a golden retriever dog sitting at the bottom of the steps wagging its tail. Tony said “She won't bite but will probably want to patted by everyone before she sits down again.” which is exactly what happened.

We walked up the stairs and followed Tony through the big house. It was almost as big as Daddy's house back in Quilpie. When we reached the kitchen Tony's wife Isabella was setting the big table in the adjoining dining room. She was a short plump dark haired woman and looked very Italian.

She spoke perfect Aussie English and said “Well hello everyone. I'm Isabella but Bella is what this guy calls me,” and she gave him a hug and kiss.

Tony said “These are the bushies I've, been carting about for the last couple of days Bella. This is Donna and Helen, and of course the pretty little squirt is Carla.

It was more a dinner than lunch with lamb roast and baked veges and ice-cream for desert. Mummy and Bella swapped recipes while Tony and Helen talked about his sister Anna. I went downstairs and talked to Goldie the retriever.

We said goodbye to Bella, and and made our way back to Tony's taxi. I said 'bye to Goldie and told her to be a good dog and I'd see her next time we are in Brisbane. She wagged her tail and licked my hand

“Right” said Tony “Let's get this show on the road.”

Tony was making his way back to our hotel and said, “Donna, Bella said to tell you next time your down you could stay with us if you want, I think she has taken quite a shine to you.”

Mummy said “As long as we pay our way that sounds great Tony.”

Just as Tony turned into a street that had tram tracks his taxi went off to the centre of the road. There was a tram coming towards us and a big truck pulled out of a side street. I heard a lot of screeching of tyres then metal crunching. I felt like I was being pushed against the door from Tony's side of the car then there was something warm running down the back of my head.

I was dreaming and Jean was holding my hand. I said, “Why am I in bed talking with you Jean? I don’t remember going to bed”

To be continued.

Next time: waking up in a strange room''

----------Please leave some comments--------

Previously

Just as Tony turned into a street that had tram tracks, his taxi went off to the centre of the road. There was a tram coming towards us – and a big truck pulled out of a side street. I heard a lot of screeching of tyres, then metal crunching. I felt like I was being pushed against the door from Tony's side of the car. Then I felt something warm running down the back of my head.-------

I was dreaming and Jean was holding my hand.

I said “Why am I in bed talking with you Jean?I don't remember going to bed.”

Jean smiled at me and then faded, and I woke up to find myself in a strange room and the bed had rails on the side like a cot so I wouldn't fall out I suppose. I thought 'shit the taxi — the noise and then the pain in the back of my head.' I touched the back of my head to see what damage there was and to make sure I didn't have a big bald patch there. I felt a funny lump with some sort cotton bits sticking out. “Stitches” I said.

I had never really seen inside a hospital room before but when I saw all the gadgets hanging off the wall, and oxygen bottles and masks hanging on the wall, the penny dropped. Then I started to panic.

“Mummy! Helen! Tony! Oh no they're all dead!” and I started to scream at the top of my voice “DOCTOR! NURSE! ANYBODY!!! Where's my Mummy?”

Someone opened the door. It was a nurse and she was out of breath.

“What is all the noise about? You will wake up all the other patients in the hospital.”

“I want to see my Mum. Oh nooooo! She's dead isn't she?” I started to sob.

The nurse said “Calm down little one, your Mum is fine. She'll be back in ten minutes. She just went to get herself a cup of strong coffee.” The nurse then put the side of the bed down and got me to sit up and have a drink of water. I had the hiccups from crying.

I said “M-m-my h-he-ad h-hurts”.

She sat on the bed beside me and hugged me and said, “Shhh now, everything will be ok. You have had a nasty bump on the back of your head, and have six stitches in the cut, and no they didn't shave your beautiful blond hair off. You were out cold when the Ambo's brought you in. Let's see, that was at two this afternoon and it's nearly midnight now so you have been in dreamland with the fairies for almost twelve hours. My name is Mary and I will be your nurse till eight in the morning, I'm going to go and get you something for your headache. No more yelling now ok?”

Just then Mummy came into the room with a cup of coffee in one hand and some sandwiches in the other. She put them down on the cabinet beside the bed and sat down beside me and put her arm around me. She had tears running down her cheeks and said, “Carla, I thought we had lost you when you didn't move in the wreck. The fire department had a new piece of equipment called the Jaws of Life. They used it to prize the door open to get you and Tony out of the front of the crushed car.”

“Mummy are you hurt? What about Tony and Helen?”

Mummy replied “Darling I'm fine. I have a bruise on my leg and Helen has a sprained wrist, but Tony is in intensive care and drugged out so I haven't been able to see him, but Isabella is with him. He has a broken leg and some internal injuries, but will recover and be ok according to the doctors here at the Mater Hospital.

“Mummy, Jean was here holding my hand before I woke up - I wish you could see her too. she looks so pretty in that gown she wears.”

“Darling, I think she has enough on her hands protecting you, don't you think?”

“Mummy what happened?”

“Well Tony had corrected the way the tyres had slipped on the wet tram tracks and the tram had stopped when that big truck just slammed straight into us.”

I said “I don't remember anything after I heard the crunching sound of metal and something warm running down the back of my head.”

“Carla, you lost quite a bit of blood by the time the paramedics got to you through the window of the car and stemmed the flow. They had to wait for the firemen to use that amazing tool to open the door to get you and Tony out and put you both on stretchers.”

“Tony was awake the whole time but the medics gave him a pain killing injection, He kept on saying “My God I’ve killed her.” because you were not moving, but the medics said you were just knocked out.”

“Mummy I'm wearing some kind of nappy, did the nurse put it on me?”

“ No sweetheart I did that. They were going to put a catheter in because they didn't know how long you would be out for, but I told them you had a serious bladder infection and didn't want to make it any worse, so I said I would look after you. The sister in charge wasn't too happy but she gave in and allowed me to stay with you.”

“Mummy, if the doctor sees I have got a willy they will call the police and arrest me!”

“Oh Carla they can't do that. Besides I got in touch with Rose and she has been in touch with the head nun who is also the administrator of the Mater.”

Just then Mary the nurse came back with my pain relief pills, “Here we are cutie pie this will stop that bad headache and let you get some sleep till morning.”

While I was taking the pills Mary looked at Mummy and said, “Could I speak to you outside for a moment Mrs White?”

Mummy replied “No nurse, you can discuss anything about my daughter in front of her. She is very intelligent and will know exactly what you want to talk to me about.”

“I'm sorry Mrs White I didn't mean - I mean I have a child a bit older than Carla and h--sh-she is the same as your daughter.”

“Look nurse Mary is it? Call me Donna. Err it looks like we have something in common doesn’t it?”

Mary said the nun in charge of this Hospital was well aware of kids with gender dysphoria and they were treating them in a special program set up by the hospital board and the Catholic Church.

She went on, “Doctor San-Lee is the doctor involved with this program, so I was not surprised when sister Bridget called me when I started my shift to look after Carla.”

Mummy smiled at me and said, “Carla you need to get some sleep now, I’m going to lay down on this stretcher they brought in for me earlier.”

I asked Mummy where Helen was and she said she was back at the hotel and will be here in the morning. She said “Get some sleep now. It's already one o'clock and I can't stay awake any longer.”

Mary came in every hour and checked my pulse and blood pressure. Jean was in my dreams as clear as a bell and we seemed to talk like it was the most normal thing to do. She told me not worry about Tony because he had a connection with Anna just like we did.

It was seven am in the morning when Mary came in and said she is about to finish her shift, but not to worry about the nurse that was on the day shift because she was a close friend and was informed about my little problem. She said she would see me at seven tonight because I would still be there one more night so they could make sure I was ok.

Mummy stayed to have a hospital breakfast with me before she went to see how Tony was getting on and go back the hotel to get cleaned up and come back with Helen.

She said, “Now don't you start to worry about anything while I'm away. I am going to ring Bill and Rita and let them know what happened.”

The day shift nurse came in to take my vital signs.

She said “G'day little one I'm Rachel and I'll be looking after you today. Let me have a look at that lump on the back of your head. It looks good, so you can get up and I'll help you in the shower”.

“Errr My Mum is coming back soon to help me with that.” I lied.

“It's alright luvy. Mary filled me in about your little plumbing problem.” she said. Because I had a concussion she had to watch that I didn't get giddy and fall over and hurt myself.

Rachel was just as nice as Mary and told me about Mary's transgendered daughter Sam and said she was going to bring her in that afternoon to meet me.

“You'll have to stay till tomorrow morning because that is a nasty bump on your head and Doctor San-Lee is coming in later to check you out before you go back to your home in the bush”

After the shower I got dressed in hospital gown and a dressing gown and was ready to go to where Tony was, Rachel didn't want to leave the ward so she got a young trainee nurse to take me in a wheel-chair down to where the ICU ward was.

The nurse said “Hello I’m Jan and I’ll take you down to see your friend.”

When we got to the ward where Tony was supposed to be he had been moved to a private room like the one I was in and it was down the corridor from the ICU unit. The door to his room was open and when Jan wheeled me in, there was Mummy, Helen and Bella talking with Tony. Jan said I could get out of the chair but to stay in the room.

Tony had his left leg in plaster up to his knee and looked like he was have trouble breathing.

He said “Come here sweetheart! and give me a careful hug. I have a bit of bruising in the chest but I 'll be ok in couple of weeks.”

I had tears running down my cheeks and gave him a gentle hug and kissed him on his cheek and dripped tears on his face. He kissed me back and said, “Oh Carla when I saw you in the cab not moving with blood all through your blond hair I thought I had killed you.” That started Mummy Helen and Bella sniffling and looking for the box of tissues that are in all the hospital rooms.

After about half an hour Jan came back to take me back to my room three levels up. I said 'bye to Tony and Bella, and asked what Mummy was going to do now. She said, “I'll come up to your room with Helen in a while, I have to make some calls and arrangements for us to get home on the weekend.” I was only back in bed for five minutes when Rose walked into the room and said, “My God child what have you been up to? You certainly know how to keep everyone on their toes don't you?”

That did it. The dam broke and I just started to sob and couldn’t stop. Rose came and held me in her arms and stroked my hair careful not to touch the stitches, “Oh sweetheart I wasn't going mad at you. I think this has all been a bit too much for you hasn't it?”

Once I was calm she said, “Carla, I have some good news for you and your Mum. My colleagues have agreed to take on your case and when we get sorted I'll be in touch.”

I said “Does that mean I can stay being a girl?”

“Well, seeing I have never seen a boy when I talk with you, - I guess that is exactly what it means, but you have to be very patient because it will take a long time to achieve the end result.”

I said, “Me and Jean can live with that.”

“You are a funny little thing aren’t you? We are going to get on fine if you keep making me laugh every time you say something.”

Just then Mummy and Helen came into the room and could see my tear stained face through my smile. Helen hadn't met Rose but said, 'isn't she a delight to be around?'

Mummy said “Rose, this is Helen a good friend of ours. She was in the car with us yesterday. That is why her wrist is in bandages.”

Rose said “I know that you want to get back home Donna, but we should keep Carla in one more night to make sure there are no after affects of her concussion. She can check out in the morning and you can get Jim Ryan to remove the stitches in a week.

Doctor Rose San-Lee said 'bye' and left. Mummy and Helen stayed and talked about things that were going on back home and I was getting bored with their conversation when someone knocked at the open door. They're supposed to be private rooms but the doors are never closed. Any wonder Mary told me not to yell like I did when I woke up.

Anyway Mary came in and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said “I’ve brought someone along for you to meet.” A shy girl was standing at the door she was about two years older than me, and she was quite pretty.

“Well come on Samantha, don't just stand there! Meet someone with the same problem as you."

The poor girl went bright red and gave me her hand and said, “Hello Carla. My Mum is a bit direct but she loves me and is helping me to be the person I need to be.”

I said, “Hi. I hope we can be friends and compare notes. I live a long way away so I can only see you when we come to Brisbane for my appointments with Rose.”

Samantha said “Well maybe we can see her at the same time as she's my doctor too.”

Mummy, Helen and Mary went to get themselves a cup of tea and left Sam and me to get know each other.

I said “I'm turning nine in June - how old are you?”

“I'll be eleven in September and next year the doctor said she is going give me something to stop me from going into boy puberty.”

“Well,” I replied “I hope she does that for me too because I can't even see anything in my little marble bag.”

We were still giggling when the ladies returned with sandwiches and soft drinks for us.

“Well it looks like we have two new girlfriends bonding doesn't it?” said Mary.

Well, all my visitors left, even Mummy as she went back to get our plane tickets for the trip home and said she would pick me up in the morning from the hospital to go straight to the airport.

Before she left I said “Are you coming to see me tonight before I have to go to sleep Mummy please?”

“Of course I will sweetheart, but I will go back to the hotel to pack up all the bags to put on the plane for our trip home.”

Mummy came back like she said she would, but only stayed for a short while and went back to pack our things.

Morning came and Mary was still there finishing her shift and came to say goodbye and said to stay in touch with her and Samantha and said we could talk by phone to stay in touch. Mummy turned up and said, “Ok girl, get your stuff and lets go.”

Mummy had brought my clothes to wear the previous night. It was my pink denim skirt with the red blouse and red sandals. I put a barrette on my head because that wouldn’t interfere with the stitches in the back of my head. Helen stayed with the cab while Mummy signed the discharge papers. Jan the nurse came with a wheelchair to take me down to to the cab.

I asked “Why the wheelchair?”

“Regulations dearie, just enjoy the ride ok?”

We got in the cab and arrived at the airport an hour before the flight was leaving for Charleville. Mummy said that Daddy would be there to pick us up and take us back to Quilpie and home.

To be continued

Next time two people that I don't really like are in Quilpie and going to make “trouble.”

Previously

Helen stayed with the cab while Mummy signed the discharge papers. Jan the nurse came with a wheelchair to take me down to the cab. I asked “Why the wheelchair?”

“Regulations dearie, just enjoy the ride,ok?”

We got into the cab and arrived at the airport an hour before the flight was to leave for Charleville. Mummy said that Daddy would be there to pick us up to take us back to Quilpie and home.

I slept during most of the flight to Charleville and didn't wake up till Mummy shook me awake to put my seat belt on for landing. I looked out of the small DC3 window to see the town of Charleville below and had a strange feeling that something was wrong - not with the plane, no - it was as if someone was going to cause trouble when we landed. I closed my eyes tightly and concentrated on Jean who was there immediately in my mind.

I asked her what was going to happen at the airport when we landed. I think I actually spoke out loud, so Mummy could hear my side of the conversation because she grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently and just listened to what I was saying. Jean said she would try to protect me from danger so not to worry.

I said “Yeah just like when the truck hit us in Brisbane hey?”

She said, “If I wasn’t there with you Carla you would be on this side with me now, so stop worrying. I'll be there to help you and Mummy too.”

We were about to land so I opened my eyes and Mummy said “What was that all about?”

I said, “Mummy be careful when we get of the plane and look for Daddy straight away. I think we might need him to stop someone from hurting us.”

“Carla, don't be silly who would want to hurt us in Charleville?”

“I don't know Mummy but Jean told me she was ready to help me if anything started to go wrong.

Helen was listening to our conversation and said “I think I know what it might be, Donna.”

Mummy said “Well you had better hurry up and tell me because we are about to get off the plane.”

Helen said “Just stay close to Carla till you can see Bill.”

We walked over to the building that was used as the airport terminal. It was really only a large shed converted into different areas for baggage, and counters for the buying of tickets. As we waited for the luggage to be unloaded from the plane and be brought into the baggage pick up area I spotted Daddy and Rita, with Ricky stand behind Rita.

All three came over to us and then all the hugging and kissing started.

“Wow” I said “Anyone would think we were gone for a whole year.”

Daddy said “Well, after your mother rang me and told me what happened when the taxi you were in got crushed by a large gravel truck I wondered if I would ever see any of you again.”

Rita said, “Good to have you back Sis, and look who came with us to pick you up.”

Ricky was busy still fussing about his Mum's bandaged wrist when I said, “Hey Rick what about me? I'm the walking wounded!”

Ricky quickly came over and hugged me so tight I could hardly breath. After I kissed him on the cheek he put me back down. I didn't realise just how strong boys are.

Ricky said “Gee Carla I'm so glad to have you back to talk to and hang out with.”

Daddy and Rick grabbed a trolley and loaded it up with the luggage and all our shopping that was done in Brisbane.

Rita said, “I hope there's some goodies in that lot for me?”

Mummy said, “Not a lot this time Rita, but your turn comes when Carla has her next appointment with Rose in a few weeks time.”

I said, “Don’t worry Sis, I got you some jewellery you'll like.”

As we were walking out Daddy was saying something to Mummy and Helen and they all had a serious look on their faces. I asked what the matter was and Daddy said, “James and your brother stayed at the caravan park last night and were asking where you were and someone obviously told them you'd be home today, but I think they might have come here as well, so stick close to me when we get to the car park.”

This is what Jean tried to warn me about before we landed and I quickly asked her in my mind, “Jean I think I might need you.”

She was in my mind and she said she was always there so don't worry. It was getting easy for me to communicate with her every day which is what she told me days before.

We got to the car park to a mini bus that Daddy owned and rented out to other people for school excursions and things. Every thing was loaded into the van and we were ready to climb in when.......

“Hey!! I want to talk to you.” The voice sent shivers down my spine as I looked around. It was James White my real dad walking up to Bill my adopted dad and I could see my brother follow close behind. I thought 'Oh no! This is going to get ugly.'

Me, Ricky, Mummy and Helen were all on one side of the van and Daddy was on the driver's side when James (I won't call him dad any more) and John walked right up to Daddy and gave him a shove into the side of the van. Well that did it. Daddy grabbed both of them by their shirts and sat them on the ground and stood with his fist closed and said, “Listen you pair of fucking dickheads. If either of you come anywhere near Donna, Rita, or Carla again I'll break your fuckin' legs do you hear me?

James got up slowly and said 'Carl is a boy” as he was looking at me in disgust.

Mummy said, “How would know or even care about your daughter? If you took me to Brisbane when you were supposed to when I was due we would have both twin girls with us now. Anyway you took off with that assistant cook, so you will get the divorce papers served as soon as my lawyer has them ready.

Just then John stood up and started to walk towards me with a clenched fist. I closed my eyes and thought 'This is it I’m about to die' when I heard a thump, - Ricky was sitting on top of my much bigger brother John and punching him in the face, saying “Carla's my best friend and no one is ever going to hurt her while I’m around especially a prick like you!!”

Someone must have called the police because I looked around and saw a policeman standing next to Daddy, and he said “Wow kid, you sure know how to protect your girlfriend here don't you?”

Helen said “That's my boy. You should see what would have happened if Peter my older son was here.”

The policeman said, “Yeah, well I better sort this out before someone gets really hurt.”

After about half an hour of claims and counter claims it seemed to fizzle out and James and brother John were told to leave or be arrested for assault, which did the trick. I didn't see them again till years later. It turned out James wanted half of Mummy's insurance money and he really didn't care about me or Rita. Anyway good riddance to bad rubbish.

After the policeman wrote a bit of stuff in his note pad, he asked Daddy what it was all about and if he wanted him to contact the police in Quilpie to keep an eye out for any trouble, but Daddy said he could handle any shit that that idiot could throw at him.

We all bundled into the van and Daddy drove to a service station to refill the tank and let everyone go to the toilet before the three hour trip home along the Diamantina Highway which was mostly gravel and dusty. Mummy sat next to Daddy and was chatting to him about what happened In the car park. Rita and Helen sat in the middle seat and me and Ricky were in back seat of the mini bus.

Ricky was holding my hand and said “I was going to kill that stupid brother of yours. I was so angry when I saw that he was going to hit you Carla.”

“Well I'm glad you took him by surprise because he is twice your size and would have really hurt you if he had the chance.”

Daddy pulled up at a small service station at a place called Cooladi which is the half way mark to Quilpie, and he said “Right Ladies and Gentlemen, toilet break and fuel top up and home.” Mummy took over the driving for the rest of the trip to give Daddy a break.

Me, Rita, and Ricky slept the rest of the way to Quilpie. It was six o'clock in the afternoon when Helen shook Ricky and me awake and said “Come on sleepy heads. Let's get my bags out of the back so these people can get home.”

Peter and his dad came out of the house to greet Helen and carry her things into their house. Pete gave her a hug and opened the back of van and said “Mum which lot is yours?”

She said, “Hang on son let me hug and kiss your dad first.”

Barry said “God woman, I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah and my cooking I bet” she replied.

Pete said “Mum which bags?”

“Ok - ok! My suitcase and the new red one that I bought to fill with all the clothes and shoes I got for you lot.

Barry said, “Is any money left in the bank account after this lot?”

“It's about time the moths of your wallet were let out, Barry,” Helen said with a laugh.

Ricky gave me one more hug for luck and said “See ya later girlfriend.”

I blushed and kissed him on the cheek. “You can bet on it.” I replied.

Rita said 'bye to Pete, and Daddy said “Come on you lot, the barbecue is waiting to be used. I am hungry enough to eat a horse.”

We arrived home ten minutes later and piled out of the van and lined up to go to the toilet. We left the unpacking of the van and helped Mummy in the kitchen to make a salad while Daddy lit up the barbecue to get it hot enough to cook the rump steaks. Rita and Mummy brought the salad and drinks out to the table on the verandah while I helped cook the steaks with Daddy.

Mummy said, ”You know Carla I think my cooking is better than any hotel ''food''. What you reckon kid?”

Rita and Daddy both said at the same time, “Hoy, what about us?”

“Me and Dad run the restaurant with Linda's help without any complaints.” said Rita.

“Speaking of the restaurant, who's running it tonight? It's Saturday and it will be busy.”said Mummy.

Daddy replied, “Linda helped Rita prepare a lot of food yesterday so the menu will be a bit different tonight - besides I hired a young sixteen year old aboriginal girl from the mission to give the kid some hope in life. She is a real nice kid and gets on with everyone really well.”

“I hope you don't mind Donna? The way the restaurant is performing you will need all the help you can get. Even the people from in town are coming to eat there.”

Mummy said “Bill sweetheart, what you did for that girl is exactly what I would have done. By the way, what's the girl's name and where is she going to stay?”

“Well at the moment she and her Mum are staying in one of my caravans. The girls father was
white and didn't come home from the war in Korea. He married her Mum before he left but he never saw his daughter, Donna!” and Daddy was starting to tear up.

Mummy went to him and while she held him said, “Bill darling, this is why I fell in love with you so quickly in the first place. You're such a softy — now tell me their names.”

Daddy said, “Greg Thomson was his name, a Sergeant in the army, her Mum is Jenny and the girls name is Alice,-- a pretty little thing with the race mix.

Rita said, “Yeah Mum she's a great help on the tables, and the customers really like her too.”

“Ok,” said Mummy “Meal time, showers and by that time it'll be almost time for bed.” As she said that she was looking at Daddy with a big grin on her face.”

Daddy waggled his eyebrows at her and said, “Honey you don't want to unpack the van first then?”

Well - it was an early night all round and tomorrow was another day.

It was Sunday morning and we were going to go to church because Daddy is Catholic and has always gone to church all his life, but more so after his son Paul committed suicide. We loved Daddy so it was not a problem to go to church with him. Besides Ricky and his family go to the same church.

Mummy had a shower early with Daddy of course. I wonder why Mummy always squeals in the shower!!! Never mind, don't answer that! Anyway they unpacked the van and all the stuff was put into one of the spare bedrooms to be sorted out when we got home from church.

Me and Rita had our shower "no squealing" and towels wrapped around us we ran back to the bedroom to get dressed. Being girls we said at the same time “What will I wear?” That's when the giggling started and every time we looked at each other it started us off again. We stopped when Mummy yelled “Come and get it.” We weren’t dressed so we grabbed the summer dressing gowns and and snuck into the kitchen and sat down hoping Mummy didn't notice that we weren’t dressed yet.

All of a sudden there was a loud bang right behind us and Rita and me jumped up almost falling of our chairs. Daddy had busted a balloon and thought it was funny and so did Mummy, I didn't get the joke,-- seeing I nearly pee'd my panties. Rita obviously did because she ran from the room saying 'bugger!!'.

Mummy said, “Right Bill it's seven o'clock now. If there are any more games we will not get to go to church this morning and it will be your fault.

“Aww Donna I was just having a bit of fun.”

“What time is the second service this morning Bill?”

“There’s none - it's in the afternoon at five o'clock.”

“Well that's when we will be going then, won't we?” said Mummy.

Daddy said, “The girls will never be ready to go this morning anyway,”

“Says the man unshaven in shorts and sweat shirt.” replied Mummy.

I said “What about the Smiths? Can I ring Ricky and tell him not to go to church till this afternoon?”

“Well Carla luv, I'll tell you what, seeing it's my fault we are running too late to go this morning. I'll ring Barry right now and ask him if they can hold off going till this afternoon as well.”

Just then, Rita walked in dressed in jeans and tan top and wearing flip flops on her feet, and said “I'm not going to church Dad. You made me jump and pee my pants.

Just as Daddy was about go to his office, Mummy walked back into the kitchen and said “Where do think your going?”

“To ring Barry about something”----

“Too late darling, I just talked to Helen. Church this afternoon. They are as bad as us this morning”

'Great' I thought 'I can have a lazy day' when Mummy said “Lets get breakfast over with and we can sort out the stuff we brought home from Brissi”

“Ok!! fashion show,” replied Rita.

Daddy got up and said “That's my cue to go and sort out some stuff with Henry at the garage.”

He gave us all a kiss on the top of the head and was just about to leave when Mummy said, “Hoy! You come back here a minute.”

Daddy walked over as Mummy stood up and said “I love you Bill” and gave him a really long passionate kiss while me and Rita both rolled our eyes and started giggling again.

Daddy walked out with a spring in his step and said “Back later girls.” It looks like he has accepted me and Rita as his daughters which makes me feel completely girly and I love every minute of it. As I've said before, there is no way that I’m a boy and never was.

“Right,” said Mummy “Lets clear this mess off the table and then we can get down to business.”

Rita was duly impressed with the quality of the clothes Mummy got at the the second-hand clothes shop and said “Mum I want to go there when we go to Brisbane - is it far from the hotel?”

Mummy replied, “No just a hop, skip, and a jump Rita. But I think we might have an invite to stay with Tony and Bella when we go to Brisbane again.”

Rita said,” Aww and how far is that from the shop?”

“Well actually it's closer than the hotel, because I wondered why Tony was always so quick to be there to pick us up when we rang him.”

“Oh wow, I must remember to take an extra bag when we go.”,said Rita.

“No Darling, we'll travel light next time and buy some new suitcases and fill them up with lots of goodies. We'll have to see if we can make a dent in that insurance money of mine.”

Mummy then said that it was really only going to cost her for travel and accommodation when we went to Brisbane because Doctor Rose San-Lee's bills were covered by the study thingy.

Anyway, after I showed Rita all my new stuff she went through the things I got for her when we were shopping at the big department store before I had to go and see Rose.

She hugged me and said "Thanks Sis. I'm glad you're my little sister. I hope that doctor in Brisbane can make sure you stay that way.”

“Well,”I said, “If she can't than I would rather be with Jean.”

“Don't say that Carla - you're starting to freak me out with that stuff.”

“Don't worry Sis, Jean is right here with me and can hear every thing that is being said.”

Rita said “I wish I could communicate with her too, because I’m her sister too you know.”

I replied “When it is all quiet tonight before we go to sleep, why don't we both concentrate and see what happens when we hug real tight? It might work.

Mummy said “Ok girls, seeing we've got a few hours before we have to get ready to go to church, lets clean this place up.

“Yes Mummy” we both said with a sigh.

To be continued

Next time: The Priest wants to speak with me and Mummy in private.

Footnote.--- I would like to dedicate this story in memory of my dear older sister Rita (her real name) who passed away eighteen months ago while I held her hand. She supported me till the day she died. Rita I miss you so.

Please leave a comment.

Previously:

Rita hugged me and said. “Thanks Sis. I'm glad your my little sister. I hope that the doctor in Brisbane can make sure you stay that way.”

“Well”I said, “If she can't then I would rather be with Jean.”

“Don't say that Carla —you're freaking me out with that stuff.”

“Don't worry Sis. Jean is right here with me and can hear everything that is being said.”

Rita said “I wish I could communicate with her too -- I'm her sister too you know.”

I replied “When it is all quiet tonight before we go to sleep, why don't we both concentrate and see what happens when we hug real tight? It might work.”

Mummy said “Ok girls, seeing we have got a few hours before we have to get ready to go to church, lets clean this place up.”

“Yes Mummy.” we both said with a sigh.

We had to be at the church at five, and it was three pm already so Mummy said, “You girls had better start thinking about what you're going to wear to church, because I don't want the same silly drama we had this morning, Ok?”

We both replied “Yeeees Mummy.”

“Don't you mock me you little monkeys!!!”

“Sorry Mummy.” we said as we ran out of the kitchen to our bedroom and looked for some things
to wear.

I said “We had better have a shower now, before Daddy comes home so he can make Mummy
squeal again.”

“Yeah they like being in the nuddie don't they?”replied Rita.

I said, “They really love each other don't they?”

Rita said “Mum deserves to be happy after everything that she has been through and Bill is a really nice man.”

“Do you think they will get married?” I said.

“Can't 'till Mum gets a divorce can they?”Rita replied. “Anyway Dad might not want to. Hey!”

Mummy was standing at the door and said, “Already did last night!

“Oh Mummy you said 'yes' didn't you?” I squealed.

Just then Daddy came from behind the door and put his arm around Mummy and said, “Donna!! what was your answer again?”

Mummy said “What do you reckon girls? Should we make him your real Daddy for keeps?”

“Oohhhh yes please!” we said.

“Well as soon as I can get the divorce papers signed by you know who, we will set a date.” she replied.

“Mum!” said Rita, “How will they find James to get him to sign anything? He and John could be anywhere!”

Daddy said “Oh! they'll find him alright. The copper in Charleville got all the details we need to track them down.”

Then Mummy said, “As soon as I ring the lawyer in Charleville tomorrow morning I 'll tell him to get cracking with the legal papers and then it won't take too long to get things organised.”

Rita and me looked at each and said in unison “What will we wear to the wedding?”
.
Mummy said “Listen you two - what about finding something to wear to church today and worry about the wedding later?”

By this time we only had three quarters of an hour to get ready for church, so Mummy chose what we were going to wear and said “You’ve got ten minutes so hurry up,- if you don't want me to get mad.”

“Yes Mum,” Rita replied, and looked at me and said “Wedding —YEEES!!”

I was nearly falling over trying to put my pink denim skirt on and had to slow down. I was so exited about Mummy and Daddy going to get married.

I thought, ''Bridesmaid, Shopping, Brisbane.'' when Rita said. “Lets go Carla. Mummy is in the car waiting.”

I said, “Aren’t we walking?“

“No Carla, too late for that. Hurry up.” replied Rita.

We arrived in plenty of time and I said, “What’s the rush? People are even later than us.”

The service this afternoon was not a mass but a special service that Brian would probably be in trouble for with the his boss the Bishop and could even be sacked. Brian was a bit of a a rebel and eventually left the priesthood to go back to being a lawyer.

Mummy looked at me and said “You're not going to be late for my wedding I hope?”

I said, “Nah! I'm goin' to be in the wedding party so I can't be late can I?”

Mummy and Daddy laughed at that and said “Bridesmaid eh?”

Rita said “Make that a double!”

Daddy said “What scotch?” and laughed at his own joke.

I didn't get the joke. What has Scotland got to do with what Rita said I wondered.

“Alright, time to go into the church” said Mummy.

“I can't see Ricky anywhere!”

“I expect they are inside already.” replied Mummy.

We went into the church and found the Smith family sitting in the same place as the last time we were at church. It looked like people had left the pew behind them empty so we could sit there. ''Strange or what?”

The priest entered from the presbytery and went straight to the pulpit to greet the congregation and delivered his sermon, and we stood and sat at the appropriate times. Only Daddy was Catholic. We are Lutheran and only went to church when we were on holidays or away from River Downs. But the School of the Air had religious lessons once a week if you wanted to join in, which I did because I believe in God and Jesus and all that stuff, 'and Angels'' — like Jean. Did I tell you I'm heavily into Angels?

Anyway after an hour of sitting, standing, and singing hymns, we all looked around at each other and said “Peace be with you.” and shook the hand of the person next to us, It felt really nice being part of all this I thought to myself.

When we filed out of the front of the church where Father Brian Allsen was talking to Helen, he said,
“G'day I'm Farther Allsen,” looking at Mummy, “but everyone just calls me Brian” he said with a big smile on his kind face. Helen said “Brian, this Donna White and her two daughters Rita and Carla and of course you know Bill.”

Father Allsen shook Mummy's hand and said, “I've heard Bill rave about you and your pretty daughters and I can see what he was on about, now that I have finally met you Donna. May I call you Donna?” he asked.

Before Mummy could answer Daddy said “Brian I call her sweetheart-- but you can call her Donna.” while he was looking at Mummy with a sheepish grin.

I’ve never seen Mummy blush before but she did this time and then she gave Daddy hug and said, “Bill your embarrassing Brian.”

''Nah. Takes more than that to embarrass our good priest.” Daddy replied.

Anyway, by this time Ricky and Peter were grabbing Rita's and my hand to go out the back to the games shed. When Barry, Pete's and Ricky's Dad said, “Um boys. I think Father Allsen might want to talk to Carla's Mum--so we might get going and leave them to it.

Ricky said, “But Dad, I told Carla I would play a game of darts with her after church” in a whiny type of voice.

Rita and Peter were already around the corner of the church and making their way to the games shed, when Daddy said, “Let 'em go and have some fun Barry! I'll drop Peter and Ricky home when Brian is finished talking with Donna and Carla.”

Daddy said “Let's go Rick and see if we can whip the backside off those two.

Helen said to Mummy “How about having tea at our place when you bring the the boys home?

Mummy said, “OK. Thanks Helen, that sounds great. We'll see you shortly then.”

“Right Donna and Carla, lets go into the presbytery office and have a talk shall we?” said Brian.

Mummy said “What is this all about Brian?”

“Well.” he replied “Bill has been worried about you not being Catholic and is not sure if you will want to marry in a Catholic church.”

Mummy said, “I love Bill and will marry him anywhere he wants me to, Brian.”

“Ok Donna, so what are you doing about divorcing your present husband?”

Mummy said, “Look I know you and Bill are mates, but that does not concern you till the time comes for me to make the arrangements for our wedding. I didn't think the church would marry a divorcee in any case so it's irrelevant is it not?”

Brian replied, “Well that's not quite right. The church has dispensations in these cases or we would soon have no one left in the congregation.”

Mummy then said, “Well Brian you had better get it sorted out with Bill because my divorce will be going through pretty quickly after what happened in Charleville.”

Brian said “Yes, Bill rang me this morning to fill me in and told me how he felt about you and the girls.” He continued, “When he lost Ann his whole world came tumbling down around him,and for the last two years he was a very sad man.”

Mummy said “Brian, I've tried to talk to him about Ann but it seems to upset him and I usually change the subject to make him feel better.”

Brian replied, “Donna, after he met you and your girls he came out of his depression almost the next day, because he came and told me he had met this special lady with two kids. But he wasn't quite sure whether one was a boy or a tom-boy because the young one was dressed in boys clothes; And after you said where you were from he phoned River Downs to ask Tom Granger about the repairs to the Land Rover that you said Tom had loaned you.

Seeing it was me he was talking about I said, “Excuse me I'm not a tom-boy — I'm a girl with a birth defect.”

At this stage I was already in tears, when Mummy said, “Brian what does this have to do with you or the church for that matter? I think this conversation is over! Come on Carla, lets find the others and get out of here”.

“Donna wait! You don't understand.”

“I understand perfectly well.” replied Mummy. We left Brian standing in his office with his mouth open.

Mummy was angry that he was talking about me and thought he had no right to mention anything about me at all. Anyway as we were walking out of the presbytery Daddy, Rita, Pete, and Ricky were coming to look for us. As soon as Daddy saw my tear stained face he looked at Mummy and said “What on earth happened in there?”.

Mummy said “Bill you had no right to tell a priest anything about Carla and I'm not very happy about it. Look what it's done to her? She is really upset. Now take the boys and us home please.”.

Mummy doesn't get angry very often but when she does there's no talking to her.

Daddy said, “No hang on just a minute Donna! I'm going to sort this out right now.” and he went to talk to Brian.

I thought 'this could get ugly' so I followed him and said “Daddy, please lets just go. It's ok. I don't want to cause Mummy and you to have a fight.” and started crying again, "I'm allowed cause I'm a girl."

Just then Brian came down the path and stopped dead in his tracks because he could see Daddy was angry with him. Brian held both his hands up and said, “I'm sorry Bill. I didn't mean to upset anyone, least of all Carla.”

Daddy replied, “You did a real good job of that didn't you Brian?”

Brian said “I tried to explain that I haven’t got a problem with Carla when Donna thought I was having a go at her about being a tomboy. Donna misunderstood me completely and got quite angry and left to find you.”

“Right,” said Daddy, “I want to sort this out right now because I love Donna and her two girls far too much to let the church interfere with my plans for our future.”

While all this was going on Rita and the boys backed away a little bit; because I don't think they really knew what had happened to upset me and Mummy.

Mummy grabbed Daddy's hand and said “Bill, I might have been a bit hasty and not given Brian a chance to explain what he was trying to say, because anything to do with Carla's little problem is off limits to anyone but family and her doctors.”

“Well,” Brian said before Daddy could say anything; “When you lost your son Paul I was there for you as well as when we buried Ann; so why would I not be right behind you when I can see how happy you have been the last few weeks with your new adopted family?”

“Ok, I was a little bit hasty, but Brian you made Carla cry, and when that happened I got angry. She is going to have enough to cope with as it is.”

Brian said “Look Donna, I have known Bill for a very long time. In fact we grew up together, so you can trust me completely with anything concerning Carla. I will help in any way I can legally or spiritually because before I became a priest; I was a lawyer and still handle all the legal stuff for this church.

Well after a while all was forgiven and it was smiles all round; so we said 'bye to Brian.

Mummy even gave him a hug and said “We need to talk more Brian If I 'm going to let you marry me and Bill.”

Brian said “Any time you're ready Donna, and you too Carla” and he came and gave me a hug as well.

“Right, that's sorted. Lets go and see what these lads' Mum has cooked for us.” So we all got into Daddy's car and went to the Smith's for Sunday dinner. Ricky was holding my hand all the way to his house but didn't say anything. Rita was in the front and dropped her hand behind the seat and held Peter's hand.

Mummy and Daddy looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and smiled and said “Young love.”

Daddy parked the car, and we all stopped holding hands long enough to go inside the Smith residence for tea. Helen had a roast chicken and baked vegetables all ready to dish up; so we all sat down at the dining room table.

Barry asked what took so long at the church, Daddy replied, “There was a bit of a misunderstanding about Carla's medical condition, but it's all sorted now.”

Mummy said “Yeah, I got a bit annoyed about Brian not being careful how he mentioned Carla being a tom-boy, because Carla was crying at that point.

“Mum” said Peter, “I thought Uncle Bill was going to snot Father Allsen before things quietened down.”

Helen replied “That would have been unfortunate wouldn't it Bill?”

Daddy said, “Yeah, but my girls are not to be messed with as anyone will find out.”

Barry said, “But Brian and you are mates from way back. You wouldn't have hit a priest would you Bill?”

Before Daddy could reply Mummy said, “Most of what happened was my fault and I feel just awful that Bill might have gone that far.”.

Helen lightened the mood and said, “Ok guys let's hit the food instead of people.”

The conversion then went to Mummy and Daddy getting married in the Catholic church; and how long it would take to sort out all the paperwork for that to happen.

Seeing it was work time tomorrow morning we didn't stay too late and got home by eight o'clock. I had to do my school work so Mummy got all my lessons sorted for the next week; and said I had better get on the radio in the morning to get some help from the School of the Air as well. Daddy was going to sort out stuff for the garage, so he would be gone before we even got up in the morning. Mummy and Rita were going into the restaurant and sort out the menu for tomorrow night and start preparing food; It wouldn't be as hard for Mummy now that Linda and Alice were there to help out.

By nine o'clock we were all ready for bed so Mummy and Daddy said good night and disappeared into their bedroom. I thought Daddy might be grovelling a bit that night if he wanted lots of hugs!!.

Rita said, “Carla! Tomorrow when you have finished your school work, get the bike out and ride down to the restaurant and meet Alice. You will like her.”

I replied, “Yeah, I want to go for a ride on my bike anyway; it's been sitting in the shed since the mail truck brought both our bikes back from River Downs.

“Yeah I know,” said Rita “I want to do some riding as well and lose some of this waist; or Pete won't want to be my boyfriend any more.”

I replied, “Yeah but don't lose any off your tits, because that's what he looks at most of the time you know!”

Rita said, “Go to sleep Carla, you're only jealous!”

“Yeah you bet.” I replied. We both had a giggling fit and went to sleep.

I was dreaming about being a bridesmaid at Mummy’s wedding when Jean decided to talk to me. She hadn't been communicating with me since the incident at the airport in Charleville. She seemed to be sitting on my bed and was still wearing that beautiful gown.

She said with a clear voice that sounded just like mine “Carla, I want you to concentrate on Rita to see if I can talk with her through you.” As this was happening I woke up but kept my eyes closed and kept thinking as hard as I could to just see Rita in my mind without opening my eyes.

I don't remember anything after that; because the next thing I knew it was morning and Rita was shaking me and, she was trembling just like I used to when Jean first started to communicate with me.

I quickly hugged her and held on to her and said “I know Rita! Jean was in your dream wasn't she?”

All she could say was “Wow she looks just like you and was wearing the most beautiful gown I have ever seen and; she said in my mind “Hello Rita” and then she just faded; that's when when I woke up with the shakes and thought I had better wake you up to see if you saw her too”

“I saw her before she appeared to you in your dream and she asked me to concentrate on you as hard as I could. It must have worked because if that’s the first time she appeared to you in a dream; it will get stronger every time it happens.” I said, “Wait till you can actually hear her talking Rita. That will freak you out because she sounds just like me.”

Rita said “I sort of heard her in my mind but not her voice.”

I said “You will in time.”

It was time to get up have a shower and start a new week.

To be continued

Next time I meet Alice at the restaurant and the three school girls at the park.

Previously

All she could say was “Wow she looks just like you and was wearing the most beautiful gown I have ever seen, and she said in my mind, ''Hello Rita'' and then she just faded away. That's when I woke up with the shakes and thought I had better wake you up and see if you had see her too.”

“I saw her before she appeared to you in your dream; It will get stronger every time it happens.” I said, “Wait till you can actually hear her talking Rita, because that will freak you out! She sounds just like me.”

Rita said, “I sort of heard her in my mind, but not her voice.”

I said “You will in time.”

It was time to have a shower and start a new week.

It was only six thirty, and we decided to quickly have have a shower, get dressed, and make a cooked breakfast and surprise Mummy and Daddy with breakfast in bed.

Rita said, “Carla you go and start the shower and I'll get our clothes ready and I'll come and join you in a minute.”

I 'scarped' down and got into the shower. Rita was there five minutes later with nothing but a towel wrapped around her. She dropped the towel and stepped into the shower with me, so I soaped up her back and gave her a rub with a bath sponge.

She said “I wish Peter was doing that, it feels really nice.”

“Yeah well it's only me.”I replied, and I began to tickle her on the back of her neck.

She turned around and started to do the same to me. Well! I am ''super ticklish'' and once I start laughing I usually end up with the hiccups, but she stopped pretty quick when I started to make a lot of noise because we didn't want to wake up Mummy and Daddy till we had breakfast ready. We finished in the bathroom and wrapped towels around us and ran back to our bedroom to get dressed.

I wore my pink denim skirt and the white puffy sleeved blouse that had red roses embroidered onto it. I had a pair of pink thongs on my feet; and brushed out my hair which was getting so long that Mummy said it would have to have a trim and tidy up very soon. I put a red barrette in it to hold the hair out of my face. Rita put on a pair of jeans and a blue polo shirt with the Restaurant logo sewed onto the pocket. It read 'Donna's Carvery'.

I said “When did you get that!!and do I get one too?”

Rita said “Carla why do you want one? I don’t think it is legal to have someone as young as you are working in a restaurant in any case.”

“I can do stuff.” I said with a pout.

Rita said, “I know you can Sis, but I don't think Mummy will let you actually work in the restaurant apart from after hours.”

Before I could whine any more Rita said “Look we'll talk to Mum about it later alright? Come on we had better get this breakfast cooked before they wake up.”

Rita finished getting dressed and we went to the kitchen and got out the ingredients for a full English breakfast with all the trimmings, beef sausages, eggs, bacon, and fried tomatoes with a piece of toast on the side. Also a pot of tea and cream and milk on a separate tray. We put it all on a tea trolley on wheels.

Before we went to serve it to Mummy and Daddy, we put on some rolled oats to boil up for me and Rita to make porridge with cream and strawberries. 'Yummy!' it's our favourite. This was all done on the big old coke burning stove that never went out; it just got stirred up every four or five hours.

Anyway that done, so off we went with the trolley loaded up with all the goodies. We didn't knock on the door of their bedroom but opened it very gently and pushed the trolley up close to to bed and started to sing very softly the song "Oh what a beautiful morning." I think that they were already awake but pretended to be asleep, because they had a smile on their faces and I don't think you can smile when you're asleep can you?

Mummy and Daddy both sat up and said, “Come here you two and give us both a great big hug.”

Daddy said, “And people asked me why I would adopt a ready made family like you lot.” and had damp eyes as he said it.

Mummy said “Alright you two what are you to up to or shouldn't I ask?”

Both me and Rita said in unison “Mummy, Daddy, 'wedding'?”

“What's that got to do with this lovely breakfast you bestowed on us?” replied Mummy. “You two will be the first to know when all the paper work is sorted out and completed, so stop stressing out Ok?”

Daddy said, “God I love my three girls. I never thought I would ever be this happy again.” He looked at Mummy and said, “Donna sweetheart, I love you.” and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips.

Rita said, “Get a room you two.” and we ran out of the room with two pillows following us as we had a fit of the giggles.

We got back to the kitchen just in time to stop the porridge from boiling over the top of the saucepan, so while Rita got the saucepan off the stove I got the strawberries and cream out of the fridge and cut up the strawberries to put on top of the porridge once the milk and cream was added. We were chatting away when Mummy came into the kitchen with the trolley and put all the dirty things into the sink to be washed up by me and Rita “of course'' what else? But we don't mind helping Mummy, she does so much for Rita and me.

Mummy said she was going to have a shower and get ready to go to work with Rita at the restaurant. Daddy was already in the shower when we heard Mummy get in with him and of course we were waiting for the normal squealing to start, but Daddy must be behaving himself this morning as there was no tickling going on. We cleaned up the kitchen and Rita got her stuff ready to go with Mummy and Daddy. I settled down in my school work room. It was all set up with a desk and the two way radio so I could talk to the teachers at the School of the Air if I needed help with the work that Mummy had set out for me to do for the day. I would be so glad to be able to attend a regular school the following year or sooner if I could pressure Mummy into it. There were two schools in town, the Catholic one and the state school. Ricky went to the state school because his dad was the principal there, but I thought the following year Helen wanted to send Ricky to the Catholic school and leave Peter at the state school or send him to a Brisbane boarding school. Rita wouldn't like that at all; because they were all lovey dovey when they were together.

They all went off, leaving me by myself and the kelpie dingo cross. She was a really quiet dog. and Daddy got her about ten years previously as a pup from a truck driver that had two pups given to him by a station owner. So Daddy ended up with a pup that he named Ginger because of her colouring. Me and Ginger got on really well because I used to let her come inside the house, and she wasn’t supposed be inside. She would just lay down beside me in my school work room and just look at me with those sad brown eyes. Did I tell you my eyes are brown?

I had to get on the radio to ask some questions about a maths problem that I couldn't understand. I switched on the the radio and pressed the button on the mike and said “This is Carla in Quilpie. Do you receive me? Over.” There was a bit of crackling, and then Mrs Dickson answered and said, “Good morning Carla It's nice to hear your voice again. I've missed talking with you, What can I do for you this morning?”--- “Over”.

I replied “I have a problem with some maths Mummy wants me to do and I didn't want to disturb her at the restaurant. Over.”

After that was sorted that out we spoke for another ten minutes, and I brought her up to date on everything that had happened since we left left River Downs, a two hundred and fifty thousand acre sheep station. (I made a mistake and said it was fifty thousand acres in my first chapter. --Well I hate maths!)

I was finished with my lessons for the day and it was close to lunch time, so I packed all my school stuff up on the desk for tomorrow and was about to go to the kitchen when Daddy walked into the room. He had come to get some paperwork for the garage that Henry needed. Oh no me and Ginger were busted. Of course the first thing I did was start to cry, and Ginger came and licked my hand.

Daddy being the soft Jellybean that he is put his arm around me and said “What am I going to do with you Carla?”

I replied in between sobs, “I'm sorry Daddy. Ginger looks so lonely when she is out in the yard and she just lays at my feet when I let her inside.”

Well, Daddy can't stand it when I cry so he said, “Ok brown eyes dry those tears, She can be inside when you're inside but not when there’s nobody in the house ok?”

I said, “Yes Daddy! thank you. You're the best Daddy I've ever had.”

Daddy walked away saying something to himself that sounded like 'I must be going soft in the head, that kid has just conned me I think.'

I asked Daddy if I could make him some lunch before he had to go back to work. And he said “Well Carla if your offering, yeah thanks.” I got some eggs and sausages out of the fridge to make lunch for us both. I also gave Ginger a sausage on an old plate. Daddy just smiled and said, “Carla I’m glad your going to be my daughter. You make me happy just to be around you.”

We had lunch and Daddy went back to work, so I decided to take Ginger for a run on a long lead riding my bike. The bike is a Malvern Star and it has three gears in the hub and hand brakes. It is a twenty six inch girls bike. Rita's bike is a twenty eight inch which is too big for me.

Ginger loved running behind me, but I made sure I wasn't going too fast for her to keep up. It took twenty minutes to get to the restaurant and by this time Ginger was panting, so I got her some water in a bucket and tied her up under the tree beside the shop.

I opened the door and announced myself and said, “G'day everybody I’m here.”

Rita replied “Out in the kitchen Carla.”

There were no customers at the counter, but there was a two way mirror between the kitchen and the Restaurant so they could see if anyone was there to be served.

I walked through to the kitchen and Mummy, Rita and Linda were all chopping up food for tonight’s menu for the evening meal. The kitchen part closed at eight pm. Most people that came to eat at the restaurant were happy to be able to have meals served from six pm. It meant Mummy could put some food in sealed containers to bring home for me to heat up for my supper. because Rita and Mummy wouldn't be home till after nine pm at night and they would eat before they came home. Sometimes Daddy would come home early but not always. It would depend on how busy the restaurant was on the night.

I said, “Ok, where is Alice?”

“She'll be back in a minute. I sent her down to the shop to get me some more flour.” replied Mummy. Just as she said that, in walked this very pretty girl with light brown skin and hair tied in a long ponytail with a white ribbon to hold it there. She was only a bit taller than me but had a perfect figure. She was wearing the same clothes as Rita with the logo of the restaurant on the pocket.

She gave Mummy the flour and came over to me and said, “G'day Carla. Wow! You are as pretty as they said you were.” Then she gave me a great big hug. I think I’m going to like her.

Mummy said, “You had better take Ginger home before Daddy sees her tied up out there all by herself Carla.”

“It’s alright Mummy, Daddy already knows I’ve taken her out for a run to get her weight down a bit.”

“Yes Carla you have been over-feeding her.” replied Mummy.

I said “Yeah and Daddy is letting me have her inside the house too.”

“Carla you haven't been wrapping Bill around your little finger again have you?”

“No Mummy” I said rolling my eyes.

Alice looked at me and giggled.

Mummy said to Alice “See? I told you she is a little monkey.”

Alice said “Mrs White, I like Carla she is really cute.”

Mummy said “Yeah I suppose so.”

I went before I outstayed my welcome and untied Ginger and started to ride home. It was just after three pm so the school kids were already starting to walk home from school. As I was riding my bike past the state school I was looking out to see if I could see Ricky, but I think he was playing football. He wouldn't be out for awhile so I kept going.

As I got to the park just down the road from the school, I saw the three girls that I met a couple of weeks ago, and I pulled in to give Ginger another drink of water. I got off my bike and walked over to where the girls were sitting on a bench talking about their home work and said, “Hi girls remember me? I met you a couple of weeks ago outside your school.”

“G'day” said the girl named Jenny, “Yeah we remember you. You're the girl that doesn’t go to school aren’t you?”

I replied, “ Well I do sort of go to school at home and on the two way radio, but I hope to be at a proper school at the beginning of the new year.”

“Gee” said Brenda, “that would be great wouldn't it?” to the other girl named June.

June replied, “Wouldn’t you get lonely not being able to gossip and talk to other girls?”

I said, “Um no. I am used to that because there were no other kids except my older sister to talk to on the sheep station we came from.”

I was thinking to myself 'What if these girls found out about my little plumbing problem, but my willy is that small that it is really not a problem to just tuck it up; and there is not even a bulge to see as long as I don’t take my panties off nobody will know. I hope that the doctors can do something about it not getting any bigger, or I will have to do something about it myself.'

I said 'bye to the girls and made my way home with Ginger running behind me without the lead on. We got home and she laid down on the verandah all puffed out. I decide to have some food now. It was only five pm, but I was hungry after riding my bike and besides there was plenty of food in the fridge to be heated up. I chose the spaghetti bolognese it is my favourite that Mummy makes. I put it on the stove to heat up.

I had just finished eating when the phone rang. I picked it up and said “Bill Croft's residence.”

It was Ricky and he said, “Carla, is that you?”

I replied, “Yeah it's me Ricky, what's up?”

I was told that you were on your bike with with your dog Ginger going past the school. You should have come down to the footy field and watched me play a game of footy against the Catholic school football team .

“Well I didn't know that the football ground was behind the school. Anyway how was your day?” I asked.

Ricky replied, “It would have been better if I could have talked to you for a bit Carla.”

I said “Ricky, you know about my little problem. Are you sure you want me to be your girlfriend?”

Ricky replied, “Carla! Dad explained everything to me and Peter and said that it is a medical problem, and it will get sorted out in time and that you are definitely a girl -- so yeah of course you are my girlfriend, unless you don’t want to be?”

I replied “Mummy said we are a bit too young to be any more then good friends, but what does she know?”

“Yeah my Mum said the same thing.” said Ricky.

Anyway we talked for about half an hour and hung up. Just then Mummy, Daddy, and Rita came into the kitchen and and Daddy called out “Carla we are home. Put the kettle on luv.”

I came out of the office and went to fill the kettle with water, when Mummy said, “You have been talking to Ricky haven't you sweetheart?”

“Um yes Mummy, but he rang me and just wanted to talk.”

“Look that's fine Carla. He is a nice boy, but friends only ok?” said Mummy.

“Yes Mummy I know, and he knows all about my little problem and still wants to be my friend.”

Rita was tired and said she was going to bed, get an early night and read a bit, and she'd see us in the morning. We said goodnight and she was gone. This was my chance to ask Mummy about going to the state school next term, because I have made friends with three girls and they asked me when I was coming to their school.

“Oh Carla that reminds me, Doctor Jim Ryan rang me today and he wants you to come and see him tomorrow at ten o'clock to ask you some questions for Rose in Brisbane and do a physical examination. Don't worry sweetheart, I'll be there with you.”

I said “Mummy you didn't answer me about my question about going to school next term.”

“Carla we will have to sort out a few more of your appointments in Brisbane, and it will make it easier if you are home schooled till that gets sorted out a bit more ok?”

Yes Mummy I didn't think of that” I replied. I said good night to Mummy and Daddy and went to bed next to a sleeping Rita. It didn't take me long to go to sleep. but I woke up to someone calling my name, and thought it at first it must have been Rita trying to wake me to get up, but when I looked at the clock beside our bed; it said it was four am in the morning. It was Jean who was calling me, and I closed my eyes and in my mind saw her sitting on my bed as she had done before.

She said “Carla open your eyes and you will see me.”

I said in a whisper so I didn't wake Rita up, “Jean I can see you and hear you as though you are solid.

She said “Carla I am in a different dimension to you. You can hear and see me but you can not touch me because I am an illusion. I am real only on the other side.”

I asked “Are you always there when I need you Jean?”

She replied “I am with you till you are old and grey and come to me when your time comes.”

Rita was awake by this time and was listening to a one side conversation, and said “Wow Carla is she going to come and talk to me again too?” Jean seemed to fade when Rita started to talk.

I said, “I don't know Rita, but she seems to be getting more clear every time she communicates with me. Maybe it will happen like that with you too.”

Later that morning me and Mummy went to see Doctor Ryan, and he asked me all sorts of questions about what I feel about girls and boys and about my twin sister Jean and how I can see and hear her, and he then said that I was very lucky to have Rose as my doctor in Brisbane because she has helped a few girls like me to become complete. Dr Ryan then spoke with Mummy about when my next trip to Brisbane was, and he would ring Mummy as soon as he found out.

Mummy took me home so she could go to work, but when we got back to the house there was a new car in the driveway that I did not recognise.

Mummy got out of the car and said “You stay in the car Carla, till I see who it is.”

I thought, 'Oh no, it couldn't be James and John come to hurt Mummy.' and started to panic.

Then Mummy sang out “Carla come and see who is here to see you.”

To be continued.

Next time: Visitors, another trip to Brisbane, and my ninth Birthday.

Previously:

Dr Ryan then spoke with Mummy about when my next trip to Brisbane is going to be and he will ring Mummy as soon as he finds out.

Mummy then took me home so she could go to work, but when we got back to the house there was a new car in the driveway that I did not recognise. Mummy got out of the car and said, “You stay in the car Carla till I see who it is.”

I thought 'Oh no! It couldn't be James and John to hurt Mummy.' and I started to panic.

Then Mummy sang out, “ Carla come and see who is here to see you.”

I jumped out of the the car and ran up to the house and nearly tripped going up the steps. When I reached the front door I got a real surprise to see Tony and Bella sitting in the lounge room. I raced over to Tony and jumped onto his lap and made him wince when I hit his leg which was still in plaster from the accident with his taxi. While I was still sitting on Tony's lap, Bella gave me a hug as well as she could, and we ended in a three way hug. I of course started to crying I was that emotional.

Tony said, “Hey little one, calm down and dry those big brown eyes. We are here for a whole week to spend some time with you and your Mum, and Bill who we met at the service station this morning. We stayed at the caravan park last night but we were too tired to go and eat at the restaurant, so we pretty much went to bed after we had a cup of tea.”

Bella said, “Your Daddy told us how to get here and make ourselves at home.” Just as she said that I heard the toilet door close and said “Is Daddy home too?” Mummy said “No, not that I know of, I wonder who it is?” She had just finished saying that, when in walked Samantha the daughter of Mary, my nurse at the hospital after the car accident.

I very nearly fell off Tony's lap and squealed in delight when I saw who it was.

Samantha said, “Tony rang Mum and asked if I wanted to come with them to visit you as well, and she said 'Yes as long as it was only for a week I could', so here I am.”

''By the way Sam is TG like me'' I said “Wow, what a surprise! Mummy, can they stay here? We have two spare bedrooms.”

“Yes of course they can. You can sort the rooms out with Sam after lunch, and Tony can collect their things from the caravan park and bring them back here.”

Tony said “That's quite a trip from Charleville to Quilpie isn't it Donna?”

“Well it is when you have just had a three hour flight from Brisbane.” replied Mummy.

Bella said “I'm dying to meet Rita, Carla.”

I said “Mummy, can she come home early from work this afternoon?”

“Well I have to go back for a while to sort out the food for tonight’s menu, but I think that Linda and Alice can cope. It's not that busy on Tuesday nights anyway.”

Bella said “Donna, do you mind if I come with you? I would like to have a look at your restaurant?”

Mummy said “How would you like to come and work for me Bella, and leave that overcrowded city you live in?”

Tony said, “That can be arranged Bella. I’ve been waiting for an excuse to slow down and do something different for a while now.”

Bella said, “Do I have a say in that Tony dear?”

Mummy and Bella left, and I said, “Tony would you like a beer and sit out on the verandah?”

He replied, “I'll hobble out to the car and go back to pick up our gear at the caravan park, and then you can offer me that beer again when I get back sweetheart.”

“Ok Uncle Tony” I replied.

Tony said, “Carla that sounds really nice, and I feel privileged to have you call me and Bella, aunt and uncle.” He got in his hire car and went to pick up their gear from the caravan park.

Sam gave me another hug and said “This is great Carla! We can really get to know each other and talk about our little problem without any worries about someone freaking out. “

“I'll be coming down to Brisbane in the next couple of weeks, I would imagine because Mummy and me have just come back from seeing Dr Ryan this morning, and he poked and prodded me and asked a lot of question about what I thought about boys and girls. I don’t know what that has got to do with me being a girl.”

Sam said “Yeah I know what you mean, Rose does the same thing.”

I said, “Do you have to take any medicine at all? Because Dr Ryan told Mummy that I would not need anything yet for a couple of years.

Sam replied, “Yep I have to take two pills a day to stop my thingy from becoming any bigger.”

We both got the giggles and had to sit on the bed or we would have fallen over.

Sam said, “Wow, this is a big house isn't it?”

I replied, “Yeah, it it is the original homestead that the town was built around. Wait till you meet Rita, you’ll just love her. We are very close and tell each other everything.”

Sam said “Where am I going to sleep Carla?”

I replied, “We'll get a bed out of one of the other bedrooms that are not being used and bring it in here. I think it should fit ok. Tony and Bella are going to sleep next to Mummy and Daddy’s room.

Sam said, “Just how many bedrooms has this mansion got?”

So me and Sam went and manoeuvred a bed into mine and Rita's bedroom. By the time Tony came back we had the room all set up and Sam and I went out to the car to give Tony a hand to bring all the bags inside the house.

I said, “Uncle Tony, how much longer do you have to have that cast on your leg?”

He replied, “Coming off when I get back to Brissi - the bloody thing is getting really itchy.”

Once we had all the stuff brought up, I got Uncle Tony that beer that he wanted and told him to relax out on the verandah in a squatters chair which is a large deck chair. It was twelve o'clock and I didn’t think Mummy and Bella will be back for a little while yet, so I said to Sam, “How about we make some lunch? There’s plenty of food in the freezer. All we have to do is put it in the oven to heat up.”

We went to the freezer and had a look at was on offer. I said my favourite is Mummy's spaghetti bolognese and there were still six containers of that in the freezer, so that is what we chose to heat up for our lunch. The containers were made of tin so all I had to do was to take the top off and put them in the oven. The stove needed to have more coke put in the fire box and stirred up to give it more heat.

Sam stood in front of the stove and said “Holy shit, that is one big stove Carla.”

“Yeah, Mummy said it was at least eighty years old and would have been brought out from England for the family that lived here at the time.”

Anyway we heated up the food, got some plates out and dished it up and took it out to the verandah to eat. It was May, so it was still ok to sit out on the verandah in the daytime, but it gets quite cold in western Queensland at night at this time of the year.

When we walked out to where we were going to sit we noticed Uncle Tony had got so comfortable he was snoring and was fast asleep. I thought it was a pity to wake him up but if I didn't he would be awful hungry by tea time.

I said “Wakey wakey Uncle Tony” and we put the plates of food on the table on the verandah.

Uncle Tony rubbed his eyes and said, “Gees! It is so peaceful here I think we might move here to live and retire.”

I said “What about your taxi business Uncle Tony? You can't sell that! Who are we going to get to drive us around Brisbane?”

“Oh!” he said, “I didn't think of that but wouldn’t you like to have me and Bella here so you can boss us around?”

I replied, “I do not boss anyone around” with a pout.

Tony said, “No, you just say it with those eyes of yours, and then we melt and you get what you want.”

Sam said “She is rather cute isn't she?”

“Yeah too cute by half, the little minx.” replied Tony.

I changed the subject and said “I'm going to dish up your lunch now so come over to the table and sit down.” as I fluttered my eyes at Uncle Tony, He came and wanted to tickle me but almost fell over because the plaster cast on his leg got caught on the leg of the chair.

I said, “ Ha Ha! You've gotta be quicker than that Uncle Tony.”

Anyway I dished up Mummy's heated up spaghetti bolognese and we settled down and had our lunch.

Uncle Tony said, “That's as good as Bella's food Carla! Your Mum's a really good cook.”

I replied, “No Uncle Tony, she’s a qualified chef!”

Then Tony said more to himself than me “I wonder if Bella would agree to sell up and move out here?”

We finished lunch and me and Sam cleared the table to do the bit of washing up there was. Uncle Tony stayed out on the verandah mumbling something to himself about bloody city life. By this time it was one thirty and I hadn't done any of my school work yet.

“Oh well tomorrow is another day,”I said, and shrugged my shoulders.

Sam said, “I will give you a hand tomorrow if you want Carla because I am a year ahead of you don't forget.”

“Yeah that will keep Mummy happy too.” I said. Just then Mummy and Daddy both pulled up in the own cars. Mummy was in the old Land-rover that she ended up buying off Tom Granger, because it was a four wheel drive and was very reliable.

Daddy and Rita got out of the car and came straight over to the house where Uncle Tony was still sitting in the big old squatters chair.

“How's it goin'?” Tony said to Daddy, “And you must be Carla's sister Rita?” he said getting up to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Rita blushed and said, “Well one of them anyway.”

Uncle Tony looked at Daddy and said “Yep, same dry wit as Carla.”

Rita then went and gave Sam a hug and said, “Nice to meet you Samantha, Carla couldn't stop talking about the girl in Brisbane with the same problem she has.”

Uncle Tony and Daddy went off to look at some stuff in the shed, and Mummy and Bella were coming back from looking at the large vegetable garden that is situated in the rather large back yard. These days Daddy hasn't got the time to tend to it so he pays an old age pensioner to do it once a week. Aunty Bella was suitably impressed with the garden, because being Italian she has always had a vegetable garden. As they walked into the kitchen Aunt Bella said, “Where’s that hubby of mine? I think we have some talking to do. I love this place and wouldn't mind at all if we retired out here.”

Well Sam and me looked at each other and started to giggle.

Mummy said, “Alright you two what is so funny?”

Once we stopped giggling Sam said, “Tony has been mumbling to himself about if you would agree to move out here to live.”

Bella said “I would, but lets leave him sweat a bit shall we?” We all off us giggled and agreed to play along with Bella.

When the men came into the house we girls were sitting in the lounge having a cup of tea and Daddy said “Ok, where's ours ladies?”

“Where's your what?” said Mummy

“Never mind, we'll get our own tea.” replied Daddy.

Bella said, “Samantha dear, would you mind getting these poor underprivileged men a cup of tea? We have something to discuss.”

So me and Sam went to the kitchen to make the tea. When we got back to the lounge all the grown ups were laughing and seemed to be in a really good mood. We gave Daddy and Tony their cups of tea and asked what the excitement was all about.

Uncle Tony said “Come here you little monkey and sit on my lap, and I’ll tell you some good news.” Of course I knew what he was going to say. And just enjoyed being spoilt like the little girl that I was, and it felt really good to be me.

Anyway it transpired that Uncle Tony was going to sell his taxi business and their big house in Brisbane and come to live in Quilpie and semi retire. Aunty Bella was excited about working with Mummy in the restaurant, and Uncle Tony would help Daddy out with the Greyhound bus ticketing business, which was getting to be too much for Daddy to handle on his own.

They stayed the week and had a look around in town for a house that suited them to buy, and there were a couple of homes that Aunt Bella liked just down the road from Daddy's house, so it looked promising. Samantha helped me catch up with my school work and that put me ahead about two weeks, which was really what I needed at this stage, because I had to go to Brisbane again for another round of tests with Rose and her associates.

We waved our visitors goodbye as they drove off to Charleville to get the flight home on Monday morning. I of course cried and Rita had to calm me down, so she took me inside to the bedroom and lay down beside me and said I have to get used to people leaving.

The next trip to Brisbane was the next week, so I could keep doing more school work and Mummy wouldn't have to worry so much that I might fall behind, just in case she decided to send me to a normal school the next term. Everyone went off to work of a morning and left me to it. Mummy called me every couple of hours to check up on me. As if I can get into any trouble ('eye roll'), anyway the week went by without me getting into too much mischief. I took Ginger for walks in the afternoon so I could get to see Ricky and my three friends at the park. Tit was Friday so if I was going to see my three girlfriends before I had to go to Brisbane for a week I had better be at the park that afternoon. I would catch up with Ricky on Saturday or Sunday at church.

I was at the park when only Jennifer turned up, she said, “Hi Carla, Brenda and June had to go straight home this afternoon. Their parents were do something, dunno what, but they were told to come straight home after school this afternoon.”

“Oh that's a pity because I will be in Brisbane all next week and I was hoping to say bye to all three of you” I said.

Jennifer said, “Why do you go to Brisbane so much anyway?”

I thought 'Will I tell her the truth or make up something?' I decided to not lie to much because I believe in God and I don’t want to be punished for telling lies. So I said I had a problem with my bladder and have to get treatment in Brisbane because that is where the specialist is. There! I thought that should be enough information for the moment I turned around and shut my eyes really tight and in my head thought 'Jean where are you I need you?' I needn't have panicked she was there all the time. All I had to do was talk to her in my mind and there she was. I wished I could remember that.

Jennifer said “Oh you poor girl! I had a problem like that a couple of years ago, but I had to do some exercises and that fixed it.”

I thought 'I might have a bit more of a problem than that and I'm sure I could hear Jean giggling in my mind. 'Cheeky bugger!' I thought. I had a bit of a tremble in my chest so I guess she heard me. Anyway I talked with Jenny for about half an hour when Ginger was getting restless so I said bye to Jenny and got on my bike and went home .

When I got home Mummy and Rita were already home so I didn't have to worry about getting my own supper.

"Yay." I said “What's the score Rita, why are you home early?”

She replied, “Mum wants to make sure we get everything ready for next weeks trip to Brisbane. Don't forget I’m coming this time Carla.”

I said “Yeah, you'll love it in Brisbane with all the shops to look at.”

Then I said “What about the restaurant tonight, are you and Mummy going back to help Linda and Alice?”

“No Dad is going to do that. They'll be fine.” she replied.

I helped Rita and Mummy pack all the clothes we needed for a week in Brisbane, and by the time we were finished it was well and truly bed time. I had a bit of a restless night and couldn't get to sleep properly, because I was worried about what the tests in Brisbane were going to be like. It is always just on waking up in the morning that my twin seems to want to talk with me. That morning was no different. She was sitting on my bed and said 'Wake up Carla. I want to communicate with Rita before she wakes up.'

I said in my mind 'Can't it wait till later?' which was a silly thing to think because Rita obviously had to be asleep for Jean to get into her mind, I know! I worked that out all by myself.

Jean said, 'Just like last time close your eyes Carla and think about Rita' which is what I did. It was a strange feeling to hear her in my mind while she spoke to Rita through me. I got into bed with Rita and cuddled up close to her because I knew she would start to tremble once Jean started communicating with her. I don't get the trembling any more.

It was like watching two people having a conversation with me looking on.

Jean said 'Hello Rita. I'm here in your mind so don't be frighten I can’t hurt you.'

Rita said with her own voice as in talking in her sleep “Wow Jean you are pretty just like Carla.”

“Well we are identical twins after all. That is why I can be in her head so easily.

Rita asked “Where are you Jean?”

Jean replied 'I am on the other side in the spirit world and we will all be joined again when it is time for you to cross over. I will leave you now because you are going to wake up.'

Jean faded and Rita was trembling, so I just stayed there and cuddled her till she became normal.

Rita woke up with a start and sat up in bed and said, “Carla!! Jean —Jean she wow!!”

I replied “Calm down Sis. Did you see how pretty she is?”

“Yeah she looks and sounds just like you.”

After Rita calmed down, we got up and had a shower together, and got dressed in jeans and the restaurant polo shirts, and yes I got wear one too because I was going to help out today with doing a lot of food preparation to put in the restaurants freezer for the next week, so Linda and Alice could cope on their own, but Mummy has also asked Alice’s Mum to come in and help out as well.

We worked all day and got it all put away in the big industrial freezer at the back of the restaurant's kitchen. Rita was in dream land all day and couldn't stop talking about Brisbane, and how she saw Jean before she woke up this morning.

Mummy said, “You girls are so lucky to have that happen and I am quite jealous that I can't see my little twin daughter.” and she sat down and started to cry. That had all of us in a tizz and we all started to cry at the same time. How silly is that?” We got home and were exhausted and went to bed early. I think we all slept like logs.

Sunday morning was a bit of a rush because Daddy said he was not going to to put up with being late for church again like the last time. We all said “Yes sir!” and got moving.

I saw Ricky and Rita saw peter at church and had a bit off a cuddle in the games shed after the service. We wouldn't see them for a whole week so this was our last chance to have a cuddle .

My birthday was on next Sunday so I hoped we will be back on next Friday early enough to see my girlfriends to invite them to my birthday party.

To be continued

Next time: Brisbane,Doctors ,''SHOPPING'', and staying with Uncle Tony and Aunty Bella.

Previously

We got home and were exhausted and went to bed early. I think we all slept like logs.
Sunday morning was a bit of a rush. Daddy said he was not going to put up with being late for church again like last time. We all said “Yes sir!” and got moving.

I saw Ricky, and Rita saw Peter at church and had a bit of a cuddle in the games shed after the service. We wouldn't see them for a whole week so this was our last chance to have a cuddle. My birthday was on the following Sunday so I hoped we would be back on Friday early to see my girlfriends to invite them to my birthday party.

Sunday was spent cleaning up the house, and washing and ironing, so that Daddy was ok just to go off to work in the mornings, and he would eat at the restaurant. Mummy did a lot the paper work for all of Daddy's business. She really spoils him (rolls eyes) um I s'pose I get spoiled too! ''giggle''.

We went for drive down to the river in the afternoon once all the work was done and took the Land Rover, because Ginger got so used to me taking her for a walk behind the bike that whenever I made my way to the front gate she thought that she could come with me. So we put her on the back tray of the Land Rover because she was a big dog and wouldn't fit inside with us.

We got down to the river picnic grounds and let Ginger go for a swim. She loved the water and I had a ball with me to throw out into the river and she would swim out to retrieve it and place it in front of my feet to throw it again. She would shake herself and wet me every time she came back to me.

The water was far too cold for me and Rita to go for a swim. It was heading into winter so swimming had to wait till spring. We spent another hour at the picnic ground and made our way home.

I said “Mummy, don't you have to go to help out at the restaurant tonight?”

She replied “No sweetheart, it is all taken care of between Linda, Alice, and her mum Jenny.”

Rita said, “I don't think I could concentrate anyway, I'm so excited about going to Brisbane and staying at a big posh hotel.”

Mummy said, “Um Rita, we have been invited to stay with Tony and Bella, but to make up for no hotel I will let you go to a beauty salon and they can give you and Carla the works!”

We got home just on dark. Ginger jumped off the back of the tray, came to me and nudged me with her cold nose which meant she wanted to be fed. I am afraid I have spoiled her, and Daddy said, "You will just have to cater for her now, you cannot UN-spoil a dog, Carla.”

I said, “But she is my friend, so we will just have to two spoilt girls.”

Mummy said, “Got that right”, rolling her eyes - “and don't you look at me with big puppy dog eyes you little monkey.”

“Sorry Mummy.” I said. Then Daddy said “Come here and give me hug kid. You know I didn't mean it about Ginger. You go right and spoil her all you like. She was Ann's dog and she spoilt her too.”

Mummy got some food out of the freezer to heat up and asked me and Rita to set the table. We had an Irish stew, and some ice cream and strawberries for desert. After everything was cleared away and the washing up was done, Mummy said, “Right Rita and Carla, you can both have your showers tonight so we won't be running late in the morning.” She continued, “We are going by bus to Charleville so we have to be on time in the morning OK?”

“Yes Mummy.” I said.

Rita said “Don't worry, Mum I'll make sure we're ready. What time do we have to be at the bus stop in the morning?”

“Seven thirty” Mummy replied.

While we went and had a shower, Mummy went to our room and laid out all the clothes we were to wear in the morning.

“Gees! doesn’t she trust us to be ready or something?” I said to Rita.

“Well you do have a habit of day dreaming when your getting dressed Carla.” replied Rita.

We got dressed in our warm nighties, but not the nice ones, they were packed to go to Brisbane.

By nine o'clock we were in bed and hit the pillows.

Rita said “Night Carla and Jean”

“Night Sis” I replied.

Daddy was shaking us awake at five thirty in the morning and said “I don't want to have to drive you to Charleville, so out you both get and have a good breakfast. Your mother is already cooking it now.”

We said “Yeah Yeah.”

“I will be back with a bucket of cold water in five minutes.” he said.

“Ok I’m up” I said.

We had eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes, and toast washed down with a glass of milk. Daddy had everything in the car ready to take us to the bus stop so we quickly cleaned up the kitchen and were about to get in the car when I said “Wait a minute, I just want to give Ginger a cuddle and say 'Goodbye'.”

Daddy said, “Ok Darling, but make it quick please.”

I said 'bye to Ginger and ran back to the car and got in.

We got to Daddy’s garage, and the bus was just getting fuel put in it. There were about twenty people standing around waiting for the driver to load all the luggage into the bus so we could get under way. Daddy gave the driver a hand to do that because Henry had to do the stuff with the tickets. We all gave Daddy a hug and a kiss and said “Goodbye” with wet eyes.

We settled down in our seats for the long ride to Charleville. We all wore jeans and t-shirts. Mine was pink of course, and I got to sit beside the driver again.

He said “G'day cutie.” and winked at me when I got into my seat.

I winked back and replied, “G'day how are ya?”

He said “Pretty good, now that I have Bill's pretty little daughter as my co-driver.”

I settled down and within half an hour I was asleep because the trip was pretty boring. To me it was just a long dusty road with bush on both sides and while it might get people from another country excited, to us it gets a bit boring.

We arrived at the Charleville airport at ten thirty, so we had about half an hour to get all the stuff with the tickets and luggage sorted out. There is a little cafeteria at the airport, so we had just enough time to to have something to eat before we had to board the TAA DC3 and fly to Brisbane.

Rita said, “Shit! Carla, I hope this thing doesn't fall out of the sky before we get to the other end.” She was holding my hand pretty tight as she said this.

I replied “Well Sis if it does we will be visiting Jean for good won't we?”

“Carla stop freaking me out like that.”

“Rita, she is on this plane with us so don't worry. We will get there in one piece so you can do your shopping.”

I sat with Rita in the aisle seat, because I wanted Rita to see out the little window from high up, and she was very excited when the plan took off and did a circle over Charleville and she could see the town from the air. Mummy sat behind us and was looking at some papers for my visit to the Mater Hospital In Brisbane, because this time Rose wanted to have some x-rays done of my abdomen to see what I look like inside. I think that is silly. All they have to do is ask me and I can tell them what's inside my head. I'm a girl and that is that, and they had better not try to change that or I will go bush.

We landed in Brisbane at two thirty and it took another hour to get all our luggage on a trolley and out to where all the taxi cabs were waiting. When we got to the front exit doors of the terminal there was a guy with a cardboard sign, with Carla written on it in pink crayon with little stick on roses on the corners. I blushed as the man came over to me and said, “Is your Uncle's name Tony Bagla?”

Mummy came up behind me and said to the man, “Are you Bill's relief driver?”

“Yes I'm Kenny Bailey, and I hope to buy the cab and licence from him. Tony made this sign last night and said you can't miss the three pretty women when you see them. Well, he was right about the brown eyes of this little blondie that’s for sure.“

I was blushing red by now and then he said “This must be Rita and she is just as pretty as her mother.”

I thought he was laying it on a bit thick when Mummy said “And how is your wife Kenny?” Tony warned Mummy over the phone about Kenny, he is a bit of a flirt apparently.

Mummy said “Ok Kenny, enough of the complements. Take us to Tony's place please.”

Kenny said “Sorry I get a bit carried away Donna, can I call you Donna? I promise to be good or Tony might not let me buy his taxi business.”

Mummy replied “Yeah, but watch it or I’ll have to break your legs.” Mummy's the last of the big ''jokers''. Me and Rita just giggled, but Mummy tried to keep a straight face. Kenny said to himself 'Trust me to run into a load of rough bushies' and loaded our things into the trunk of Uncle Tony's brand new taxi. The old one was wrecked beyond repair. Actually Kenny turned out to be a very nice and helpful man, just typical Aussie guy.

We arrived at Uncle Tony's house in South Brisbane where all the real nice old Queenslander houses are. Some of them are heritage listed and cannot be pulled down for redevelopment. Bella was waiting for us at the front gate when Kenny pulled up. I got out of the car first and gave Aunt Bella a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then Goldie the Labrador came bounding over to me and almost knocked me over with her enthusiasm to greet me because she knew me from our last visit there.

Then Mummy and Rita came and gave Aunt Bella a hug, while Kenny the driver took all our things up on to the verandah. Mummy was about to pay for our fare for the trip from the airport when Kenny said, “Donna, Tony would kill me if I charged you anything.”

Mummy replied “But you have to earn a living, and nothing is free in life now. How much do I owe you?”

Bella stepped in and said “Tony will fix Kenny up later Donna. You are our guests this week so just except our hospitality ok.?”

Mummy said “Ok, thanks Kenny. I'll call you on Monday morning when I find out what time we have an appointment with Carla’s doctor.”

“Righto.” replied Kenny and he took off.

The old house had five bedrooms so it wasn't any trouble to have a bedroom each. But me and Rita were not used to sleeping alone by ourselves, so we ended up in the room with a double bed. The bed was one of those old ones that you see in the movies with the cast iron bed ends and big round balls on the four corner posts with pretty decorations on them. Mummy took the room beside us “to keep us under control” she said. (eyes roll) 'As if' I thought.

We got all our clothes sorted out and hung them up in the order that we thought that we would want them day by day. Most of my clothes are pink, bright yellow or white with embroidery on them and everything even the jeans are really girlie. Because I'm a girl silly. Rita was the same but she liked blue with a lot of lace around the sleeves and hem of her skirts and pretty summer dresses. She did a lot of her own dress making but now that she was working in the restaurant she hadn't got the time any more. She was slowly teaching me how to use the Singer sewing machine that she got for her tenth birthday from Tom Grange’s wife Margaret.

Mummy rang the receptionist at Doctor San-Lee's surgery but only got an answering machine that gave an after hours number to ring in an emergency.

Mummy said, “I forgot it's bloody Saturday, and they wouldn't be there. I'll have to ring first thing on Monday morning.”

We were all in the kitchen helping Aunty Bella prepare dinner when Uncle Tony walked in minus the cast on his leg. he opened up his arms and I practicality flew into them to give him a hug. He said, “Hey gorgeous! I've missed you too.” Once I was finished hugging him to death, he gave Rita and Mummy a hug and a kiss on their cheeks.

He said “Come outside and have a look at my new four wheel drive I bought today. That is where I’ve been.” We all followed him down the stairs where Goldie was sniffing the tyres of the brand new Land Rover.

Uncle Tony said, “Looks like the local mutts have already pissed on my new wheels doesn't it?”

Mummy said, “It looks a bit different to my old girl doesn't it Tony?”

“Yeah, well it is twelve years younger but I hope it is just as reliable as your old girl has been.” Tony replied.

Well it was getting dark outside so we went in and sorted out tea. Uncle Tony said “Alright ladies I hope all the sleeping arrangements have been sorted so we can relax after tea and watch the game on telly.”

“Um, I think the girls would probably like to see a movie instead,” said Aunty Bella.

“Oh well I'll have to listen to it on the radio then won't I?” he replied.

I said “You had better get used to that, because there is not real good reception in Quilpie, unless you spend a fortune and build one of those high towers that you see out west.”

“Well that's exactly what I am going to do, I’m way ahead of you bushies. I’ve already had a quote on doing just that, I'm not missing out on my telly that’s for sure.”

“Tony you go right in and watch your game, because us girls are going to look at all the catalogues that Bella has got for us.” said Mummy.

Rita's eyes lit up and said, “Mum how much can I spend on myself? I don’t have much money saved up yet.”

Mummy replied, “Rita sweetheart, you are sixteen next month, and have made most of your clothes yourself. I think it's about time I spoil my eldest daughter don't you?”

“Ohh Mum! Does that mean I don’t have to spend my own money?”

“Not this time Darling.” replied Mummy. “Carla did you hear that we can buy some nice stuff for a change and not go to a second hand shop to get our clothes?”

“Yeah, but I did get some nice things from there last time we were here.” I replied.

Mummy said, “Don't worry, we will be going back there too, girls.”

Bella said, “I’ve heard about that place. I think I had better come along and have a bit of a look myself before we move out to Quilpie.”

We finished looking at all the thing we were interested in and marked the items that we wanted try on. We would have to hire a truck to take it all home if we bought every item that we marked. Anyway we all went to bed dreaming of shopping and woke early when Goldie came into our bedroom and got up and licked my face with her sloppy wet tongue. What a nice way to wake up. I was dreaming that it was Ricky kissing me. I thought 'I won't tell him what I think of his big tongue.'

By the time we all got up and had a shower and breakfast, it was near on nine o'clock.

Mummy said “Hell, I had better make that call to the doctor's office.” While she did that, me and Rita got dressed in our denim skirts and blouses and sensible shoes to go shopping in. We did each other's hair and were ready to hit the shops, when Mummy stood at the bedroom door and said, “I hate to tell you this girls but we have to be at the Mater Hospital in an hour's time, because Rose has organised a meeting and consultation with her colleagues for you Carla.”

“Aww shit!” both me and Rita said at the same time.

Mummy said, “Now now girls settle down, there will be plenty of time to go to the shops after we've seen Rose at the hospital.”

There was no need to call any taxis because Uncle Tony was going to run us around all week, so we did not have to worry about not being on time. The Land Rover was fitted with a two way radio that somehow was connected to a base station that you could ring and they would relay the message to the taxis. Clever or what? But Tony did not do taxi work any more and just wanted to keep in touch with Kenny in the cab.

Uncle Tony said to Rita that he would run her to the hospital when we were finished with my appointment.

Rita said “No, I want to see what a big hospital looks like inside, and I’ll go with them.”

“Ok, you'd better get down to the Rover then and we'll be off.” replied Uncle Tony.

Uncle Tony dropped us off at the main entrance to the big private hospital and said, “Donna, just ring when you're ready and I'll come and get you.”

So we walked to the main receptionist desk and gave our name; and who we were here to see and the girl behind the counter looked in her book and looked up at me and said, “You're a friend of Samantha Riley aren’t you - Carla is it?”

Mummy was about to get annoyed when the girl said “Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean, - I mean I am a friend of Samantha’s mother, Mary, and know all about the programme that Ro - um Doctor San-Lee is conducting here at the Mater Gender clinic.

She said “My name is Jo, short for Joanne.” I got a feeling in my chest that let me know Jean is right there with me and approves of Jo.

Jo said “You can go up to the third floor and ask at the nurses station where to go to Doctor San-lee's consultation room. Your appointment is the next one in line so you had better get up there.”

We went up in the lift and Rita said, “I don’t think I like boxes that slide up and down in a square hole in the wall.”

Mummy giggled at that and said, “Your sister had the same trouble at first Rita. You'll get used to it when you have been in the city for a couple of days.”

We got the nurses' station and were told to go straight in to the room three doors down the hall with the doctor's name on on it. We knocked and waited for someone to answer, then Rose opened the door and came straight out and hugged me and said, “Hello Carla dear, your prettier every time I see you, and look how long your blond hair has grown.”

I was blushing and she said, “You are such a girly girl aren't you Carla? And this must be Rita” and she gave her and Mummy a quick hug and said “Ok we had better get into what we are going to do this week Donna, so you know what sort of tests and things we want Carla to go through. By the way Carla dear, you do not have to worry about any of the male doctors that you talk to. We have weeded out anyone that might be a bit funny about what we do here at the gender clinic. So here we go, first a blood test, and then down to x-ray so we can have a look at what you look like inside that abdomen of yours. So off with your clothes and put one of those funny back the front gowns on.”

“Ok” I said, “but can Rita and Mummy stay with me please?”

“Yes, but not when you go into the x-ray room, because the radiation can make people very sick if they are not wearing protective clothing.”

“Well what about me? Won't it hurt me too if it zapped me?”

“No sweetheart, you will be fine. Now stop worrying about things and just relax and go with the flow ok?”

“Yes ma’am.” I replied, but I was not convinced I would be alive at the end of having been zapped with Gamma rays.

Rita held my hand while a nurse took a gallon of blood from my arm, but this time they made me drink some water straight away, because last time I went out to it. Then they put me in a wheelchair and down the square hole in the wall and into the "Gamma ray" room where they kill people that have been naughty. Rita and Mummy had to wait outside the killing room and wait for me to be wheeled out on a stretcher, I’m really being silly here but it stops me from worrying so much if I joke a lot.

They took a lot of pictures of my abdomen, and I hoped that the Gamma rays would do their job and shoot my little willy off. I was there for about an hour and then got wheeled back up to the doctors rooms for some prodding and to interrogate me for crimes I have committed. I really have to stop being silly.

I wanted Mummy and Rita with me while the other doctors examined me so I didn’t have to answer anything I feel I should not tell them. I was asked to get up on this bed that had had big arms at one end and to put my legs on the arms. Mummy just nodded at me and said, “It's ok Darling, all girls have to do that some time so you might as well get used to now.”

I was pretty scared and closed my eyes tight and asked Jean if she was there but I said it out loud and the doctors herd me talking to Jean, it must have sounded like I was talking to myself. But Rose knew what was happening and a movie camera and voice recorder was switched on because this is part of her study on identical twins.

After the examination, they asked me a lot of questions about how I communicated with my dead twin. But I kept telling them she was not dead but in the spirit world and could hear everything that they are saying. That freaked the nurse that was assisting the doctors out, and she had eyes like big saucers. Then it all got too much for me and I started to sob.

That's when Mummy said “Alright, that’s enough for today.” She helped me of that stupid bed with the arms and helped me get dressed. Mummy wasn't all that happy and thought that the doctors pushed me too far and they should have stopped before I got so stressed out.

When the three other doctors left, Mummy said to Rose, “I will not let you stress Carla out like that again Rose or I will cancel this whole thing do you understand?”

Rose said “I am so sorry Donna. I had no idea that the other doctors were going to be like that. It won't happen again I promise you that.” Then as she looked at me she had tears in her eyes, and said as hugged me “Oh Carla darling, please forgive me. I am so sorry that they made you cry.

In between sobs I said it was ok, but then Rita started to sniffle too, so Rose said right I’m going to take the three of you out to a nice restaurant lunch. When we walked out to the receptionist Rose said “Cancel all my other appointments for a couple of hours.” and we got into the lift and went to lunch at Rose's expense.

When we were finished lunch it was one thirty in the afternoon, and Mummy found a public phone and called Bella and asked her to come shopping with us in the city, Uncle Tony was there with Aunty Bella within ten minutes and dropped us of in the centre of Brisbane where all the important dress shops were, so we spent the rest of the day spending all of Mummy's money. Rita was over the moon with how many things she bought. I got a few more things for the winter, and Mummy and aunty Bella had a ball trying on a lot of things but not really buying much.

My next appointment was not till Wednesday morning, so we had all Tuesday to enjoy more shopping, but Mummy said we would visit the second hand clothes shop because we had spent too much already.

Tuesday morning we slept in because Mummy said we should all take things a bit slower today, and we would go to the second hand dress shop and that was it, which is exactly what happened. We bought a few more things and will have a fashion show when we get home.

Wednesday morning. Our appointment was at eleven am, so there was no need to rush about. Rita decide to go with Aunty Bella to the Queensland museum and not go back to that nasty hospital that made me cry.

The results were in on the blood tests and all the doctors conferred on what the x-rays showed, and that was that I had no sign of any testicles. Oh wow, so I am a girl with a bit of a plumbing problem, which will be discussed by all the doctors involved and when I come back to Brisbane next time a course of action will be formulated. Mummy said she would sit down with me when we get back home and explain to me what the doctors are planning to do. We did not have to stay In Brisbane any longer so Mummy made arrangements to fly back home on Thursday morning. Bella decided to come with us because she has decide to buy a house in Quilpie.

On Thursday morning Uncle Tony took us to the airport to catch our flight home. We said goodbye and got on the plane. Daddy was at the Charleville airport to drive us home to Quilpie.

After a stressful week it was good to be back in the bush and back with Daddy. I really missed him and Ginger while I was in Brisbane.

Friday. Everyone was back at work and I was back doing my school work again. I made sure I was at the park in the afternoon so I could see my friends and tell them to come to my birthday party at Mummy’s restaurant on Sunday. Jenny, Brenda, June all said they would turn up so I went home happy. Oh and I forgot to tell you me and Rita got to go to that beauty salon on the Tuesday, our 'day of rest.'

To be continued.

Next time: the birthday party, wedding plans and a visit to a 'grave.'

Previously

After a stressful week it was good to be back in the bush and back with Daddy. I really missed him and Ginger while I was in Brisbane.

(Friday) Everyone was back at work and I was back to doing school work again. I made sure that I was at the park in the afternoon, so I could see my friends and tell them to come to my birthday party on Sunday at Mummy’s restaurant. Jenny, Brenda and June all said they were coming to my birthday party on Sunday. Oh! And I forgot to tell you all, that I and Rita got to go to that beauty salon on the Tuesday our day of no appointments.

WARNING tissues needed at the end of this chapter.

(Saturday) We all slept in till eight am that morning. I think the trip to Brisbane wore us all out, but we had a lot of things to get ready for my party at Mummy's restaurant the following day. I really didn't know a lot of people so I asked Ricky to ask a few friends to come and keep him company, because it is a girls’ party and he might get bored with girl talk. Jenny said she would do the same and ask as many of her friends to come, so it should be a nice way for me to get to know more kids my age.

Daddy said, “I hope you don’t mind Carla but I asked Brian to come and help out tomorrow because he is a real whiz at organising games and things at kid’s birthday parties.”

“Daddy, I like Father Brian. He said I might be able to go to the Catholic school if Mummy agrees to it.”

“Well we will have to see won’t we sweetheart?” replied Daddy.

Anyway everyone chipped in to decorate the restaurant for tomorrow with a happy birthday sign with my name on it. The people that were having their meals there today will just have to put up with all the decorations. Mummy said the restaurant will be closed to the public till two pm tomorrow afternoon. After that we will all have to help to tidy up so the public can come back in.

Rita said, “Mum, how many people are coming?”

Mummy said, “I'm not sure Rita but it really doesn't matter because there will be enough food to cover it.”

I even got to help out in the restaurant later because we all stayed there to make sure that no-one was inconvenienced by all the stuff hanging on the walls. 'Wow! That is a big word! I usually just say 'bovvered', but Mummy wants me to use proper grammar and spelling when I write anything down, ''Rolling eyes,'' so when I go to a normal school the teacher will be impressed on how good Mummy has taught me. Well that's her story anyway.'

We left the restaurant at eight thirty leaving Linda and Alice and her mum to close up for the night. Alice's Mum is working a few hours a week to help out when things get really busy. When we got home, me and Rita made hot chocolate drinks for ourselves and tea for Mummy and Daddy and sat down in the lounge to relax before we went to bed.

Mummy said, “Carla, we need to talk about what is going to happen in Brisbane next time you see Rose. Sweetheart, do you want Rita and Daddy to know as well or is it going to bother you to talk about it in front of them?”

I replied, “Mummy, I love Daddy and Rita and they are going to have to put up with me so they might as well know what is going to be happening.”

“Alright, here we go,” said Mummy. She had all the papers with the hospital report on what was found when they poked me in the you know what, and did all those X-rays. Mummy explained, “Carla, you do not have any testicles or a vagina but you will never become a boy either. The blood tests showed that you were more girl then boy, so what they will do is wait till you get a bit older and start you on some hormone treatment so you will have a female puberty and develop like a girl your age should. Any questions so far?”

I said, “Mummy will I be able to have a vagina when I get older?”

“Carla, that cannot happen till you are much older, but yes that is the plan that Rose discussed with me before we left the hospital gender clinic, and before you ask, no it cannot be done till you are at least eighteen. So my darling you will have to be very patient. But it will happen in the end I will make absolutely certain that it does I promise Ok?”

“But Mummy I don’t want to have a willy anymore,” and I started to cry.

“Carla, you really haven’t got a penis, it is just an oversized clitoris which is going to be needed when they perform the gender reassignment surgery.”

I calmed down and Rita said, “Don’t worry Sis, you won’t ever have to go back to being a boy and we are all here for you.”

Daddy waited till I stopped sniffling and said, “Come here darling.”

I went and sat in his lap but got all emotional again and sobbed into his shoulder. He shushed me and stroked my hair and said, “Sweetheart, you are a pretty little nine year old girl that needs to have a medical procedure done when you are a little bit older, but if they can't or won’t do it here in Australia we will take you to where they will. Now, if you don’t stop crying you will have red eyes when you greet all your little friends tomorrow and we can't have that can we now?”

“Nn–ooo Daddy. I love you Daddy.”

“Stop that now or I will cry too. Look what you have done! You have your Mummy and sister crying too.”

I said, “I'm sorry Daddy, but I thought that they were going to tell me I had to go back to being a boy again.”

Daddy said, “Sweetheart, that is not ever going to happen while I'm around.”

We all settled down and talked for another half an hour and finally went to bed. I concentrate on Jean and she was there straight away and talked to me in my mind because she did not want to wake Rita up but just talk to me and make me have a peaceful night.

(Sunday May the seventeenth 1959)

I was awake before anyone else because Ginger snuck into my room and was licking my hand. It was just sunrise and she was hungry because I forgot to feed her last night with all the crying and ''all'', so I got up and fed her out on the verandah, and had a shower before anyone else was up and about. It was cold so I put on a track suit and put my fluffy winter dressing gown on as well. I thought 'I might make breakfast for everyone this morning for all trouble I have caused in the last couple of days.'

Aunty Bella stayed at the hotel last night because she was meeting with an estate agent and wanted to discuss things with the lady selling the house she was thinking of buying. I hope she makes it to my party today. Anyway back to cooking breakfast, ''I can cook you know! Mummy is a chef and as they say the apple does not fall far from the tree.'' So it was bacon and eggs, fried tomatoes and a pot of tea. When I had it ready to serve I got a large pot from the cupboard and a wooden spoon and went close to the bedrooms and banged on the pot and said “Wake up! Breakfast time.” Just as well we haven't got any close neighbours or I would be in trouble.

Mummy, Daddy and Rita emerged out of the bedrooms in winter dressing gowns and looked like something the cat dragged in. They quickly sat in the warm kitchen and had their breakfast and a cup of tea, I had my breakfast earlier and only had some wheatbix and milk. I don’t really like a cooked breakfast myself.

Mummy said, “Thank you Darling that was really nice of you to get breakfast for us.”

Rita said, “Yeah Sis, could have been a half hour later though.”

Daddy then said, “You’re my princess Carla and I’m glad I have such a talented daughter.”

Rita said, “Hey! What about me? I cook meals at the restaurant you know!

Daddy said, “Alright then Rita, you’re my princess number two and that means you get to do the washing up.”

Mummy said, “Ok Bill, you're my prince and that means you get to help Rita clean up the kitchen. In case you have forgotten it is Carla's birthday today and nobody has said 'Happy Birthday' to her yet.”

“Oops,” said Daddy “Sorry luv.” and then the three of them sang 'Happy Birthday' to me, and I added “Happy Birthday, Jean.”

Mummy said, “We are going to church this morning so get your backsides into gear and get moving.”

They all had to have a shower so I was left to clean up the kitchen anyway. Great init? On my birthday too!

I went to my bedroom to work out what I would wear to church. It would be what I was going to wear to the party, because we were going straight to the restaurant after church. It was rather cool weather at the moment, but it would be reasonably warm in the restaurant. I opted to wear my pink lacy skirt and white tights with red open toe sandals. You could just see my red painted toe nails through the white tights. The blouse I picked was one that Mummy bought me at the seconds dress shop. It is a pink long sleeved dressy blouse with a lot of dark blue lace work around the collar and at the bottom of the sleeves. I stood in front of the full length mirror and did a twirl and was suitably impressed with just how girly I looked.

Rita came in and said, “Sit down at the dresser and I’ll get your hair done Carla, you need something special seeing it is your birthday today.”

I said, “And don’t forget it is Jeans birthday as well. She seemed to help me choose what I picked out to wear today.”

Then Rita said, “I wonder if she has more gowns like the one she has on when we see her in our dreams?”

I said, “Rita, I can see her any time I concentrate on her and I also feel some small trembles when she is listening to me talk, or when I'm being silly and crying.

Rita said, “Do you think Mum will ever be able to see her in her dreams as well?”

“Yeah I hope so, but I don’t want to push it in case it is too much for Jean to cope with.”

Rita finished with my hair, putting it up and tying white ribbons in it. I was ready. Then Rita got dressed but said seeing she was going to be doing a lot of stuff with food and drinks she had better wear jeans and a simple top and her flat work shoes. Mummy did the same, so I guess I was the only one dressed up to the nines.

Mummy said, “Carla we have enough time to do your nails if you want?”

“Yes please Mummy.”

Just as she was finished doing my nails in pink, (of course! What colour did you think I would choose?) Daddy stood at the door and said “Wow who is this then? Where is my birthday girl?”

I said Daddy “It's me, your princess remember?”

“Oh so it is! Well little one it is time to go to church, so let’s go or we will be late as usual.”

We got to the church in plenty of time, Daddy always panics when he has to wait for us girls to get dressed (Rolls eyes) 'Men just don't understand I thought.' Ricky and his family were all there to greet us and tell me 'Happy Birthday,' and hugs all round with a longer hug from Ricky 'Of course.' Aunty Bella was there and gave me a hug and said “Carla, I have some good news. I was talking to your Uncle Tony last night and told him about the house we were looking at buying and he said to just sign the contract and seal the deal so we will be living just down the road from you.

I replied, “Wow, Ginger will have a sister to play with and I will be able to take them both down to the park and meet all my friends.”

We went in and sat in our usual place behind the Smith family with one exception, Ricky was sitting next to me. Ricky held my hand and winked at me and whispered in my ear “Carla, you are really pretty today and I'm going to show you off to my friends that are coming to the party.” I winked back at him and squeezed his hand. Helen, Ricky's Mum turned around and smiled at me and gave me a wink as well. What is it today? Everyone is winking at me. I'm starting to blush, 'Oh well it will match my pink blouse I thought.'

When the service was over Father Brian came over to where we were talking to my girlfriends who were all Catholic but went to the state school.

I thought 'I must ask them why when I get a chance to get them alone.'

Anyway Father Brian said Happy Birthday and he would see us at the party to do some organising of games. We got into Daddy’s car, and Aunty Bella came with us because she will come back to stay with us for a few days to finish off all the paperwork for the buying of the house. By the time we arrived at the restaurant it was eleven am, so it was action time and all the food and things were organised because the party was to start at midday.

The party ended up being a great success. Thirty kids and some parents were there as well. I made more friends in two hours then in my whole lifetime. Ricky got to show off his pretty girl friend — ''I'm not vain or anything like that,'' and walked around ten foot tall. It was two pm and I thanked everyone for coming and the presents that they bought me. ''I’ll tell you what they were later, so be patient.''

We cleaned up the restaurant, even Father Brian helping so it really didn't take too long. Mummy asked Linda if she would be able to handle the Sunday night meal, and Linda said, “Donna there is still a lot of things in the freezer that have to be used up so it will be easy for me and Alice to cope tonight.” So home it was. It was four in the afternoon and we all sat in the lounge having a cup of tea. Normally we would be out on the verandah but it was quite chilly out there.

Anyway Mummy had some news that she said she needed to share with us, so Aunty Bella said, “I'll go and sort out my bed for the night.”

Mummy said, “Bella you will do no such thing. You are going to be part of what I am about to discuss so sit and listen. I have received all the signed papers of the divorce from you know who and that leaves me free to marry my darling William.”

I interrupted and said, “Mummy who is William?” - then realised and said, - “Oh um sorry Daddy, not thinking again.”

Mummy then said, “We are free to set the date any time it is convenient to have the wedding, and of course a honeymoon.”

Daddy just sat there with a silly look on his face.

Bella said, “Where do I fit into this Donna?”

“You my dear lady are going to be my matron of honour, that is if you want to of course.”

Bella said, “Donna, I'd be delighted to be your matron of honour.”

Rita looked at me and then at Mummy, but before she could say anything Mummy said, “Oh by the way I’m going to have two bridesmaids as well I wonder where I will find two pretty girls that are willing to be available in spring for my wedding.”

Both me and Rita started waving our hands in the air and said 'pick me pick me'.

Daddy was still just sitting there and said “Who's William?”

(Monday) Everything was back to normal again - work, schoolwork, housework, walking dogs and washing. Mummy said that Daddy had something to tell me when he came home that night, but did not elaborate to what was, 'Don't you just hate that?' Well I will ambush him with my eyes as soon as he comes through the door. 'I can get anything I want with my eyes I thought.'

It was a work day and I had to get my own tea, so I gave the freezer a miss and made myself a steak sandwich. As I was cooking that, Aunty Bella turned up in Mummy's Land Rover which she is borrowing while she is here for the rest of the week.

She walked into the kitchen and said, “Carla, I was going to cook you a meal but you beat me to it. I’m sorry, I should have come home earlier.”

I replied, “Aunty it's ok, I'm used to looking after myself and they will be home soon anyway.” I then said “I will put another piece of steak on to cook so you can make a hamburger like mine.”

Aunty replied, “Carla you are treasure, and I am so glad that Tony met your little family the way he did, I will enjoy being around and watch you grow up and will treat you as my adopted niece.” Of course me being me started to cry and had to be hugged by my Italian Aunty, I am a real cry-baby these days.

Aunty made herself a hamburger just like mine, and then said, “What do you think your Daddy has to tell you when he comes home from work sweetheart?”

I said, “I will hypnotise him with my eyes and he will tell me anything I want to know, because I have magic eyes.” Aunty Bella nearly choked when she had to laugh at what I had just said.

Me and Aunty Bella were sitting in the lounge reading and having a cup of hot chocolate, when Mummy, Rita, and Daddy, walked in.

Daddy said, “Ahh, hot chocolate before we go to bed.” I jumped up and looked Daddy in the eyes and said, “Look into my eyes and you will tell me what I want to know.”

Aunty Belle started to laugh and said “Bill I think you are being put under a spell.”

Daddy played along and said, “Yes oh Great One what do you want to know?”

I couldn’t keep it up so I fell in to his arms in a fit of giggles. Mummy and Rita just shook their heads and went to make their chocolate drinks. Daddy carried me to the lounge and we sat down still laughing.

Aunty Bella said “Bill you had better tell her or she will conjure up her twin sister to zapp you.”

“I believe she could too” said Daddy. “Speaking of your sister Jean, how would you like to visit her resting place sweetheart?”

I started to tear up the minute he said resting place, “Hey don't cry darling, I'm not joking. Tom Granger has bought a four seater helicopter and he needs to get his hours up to keep his chopper licence current. He rang me the other day and asked if I would be able to refuel his machine if he came to Quilpie. There is an air strip that small plane owners use as well as the Flying Doctor Service. It is being upgraded to an all-weather strip I think. Anyway there is no problem refuelling Tom’s chopper.”

I was speechless! This is pretty strange for me I must say. I calmed down and asked a lot of questions and so did Rita. Mummy didn't say much because she knew what was on the cards a few days ago.

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly and Aunty Bella got the bus to Charleville on Thursday morning to catch the flight back to Brisbane.

(Friday) I was getting excited about flying in a helicopter but more so, that I would visit Jean's grave. Everyone went to work as usual and I did my school work set out by Mummy as always, and I even talked to the School of the Air and told the teacher about my trip to Brisbane and how I was going to go by helicopter to River Downs and visit my twin sister's grave on Saturday. Late in the afternoon I could hear a helicopter fly over the town and I knew it was Tom Grange landing out at the air strip.

The flight from River Downs takes about three hours so the chopper has to be refuelled before the trip back to the station. I concentrated on Jean and told her what was happening and she seemed to think it was rather funny that I wanted to visit a lot of old bones buried in the ground. Anyway, I got a bit annoyed with her but I guess she is right because she is in the spirit world, so as far as she is concerned she is alive and well on the other side.

(Saturday) Tom Granger stayed with us overnight so we could be up at sunrise and go to where the helicopter was parked. Daddy drove us to the helicopter, and watched as we got on board and put our seat belts on.

Rita said, “This thing has no wings. What happens if the motor stops working?”

Tom Granger said, “We will just have to call on Carla's sister to stop us from falling out of the sky.” Rita went real quiet after that and held my hand most of the way to River Downs. Tom circled over the homestead to let them know he had returned so they could get things ready to refuel the chopper again to take us back to Quilpie.

We landed about fifty yards away from the tree where Jean's remains were buried. He said he would leave us there for an hour while he flew to the hanger where the chopper is kept and refuelled it to take us back home. Once the noise of the chopper was gone it was quiet in the bush apart from the birds in the trees building their nests to lay their eggs, to hatch for when spring arrives. I used to love watching the little birds being taught how to fly by the mummy birds when I lived out here.

Mummy and Rita hung back and Mummy said, “Carla you say your piece with your sister and let us know when to come by your side.”

It was winter time and there were no wild flowers out in bloom, so I brought some flowers with me from Quilpie. I was in tears as I walked slowly to my sister lying in the cold ground. I was now sobbing uncontrollably and lay myself down on the grave and cried out in anguish and pain that I could not explain, when from inside me I felt that Jean was truly inside my being as one joined soul. I sat up and prayed to God in heaven to keep my sister Jean safe till I myself will join her. Mummy and Rita came and wept beside me and we held each other in a three way hug but were too overwhelmed to talk.

Tom returned to pick us up to take us back to the homestead to have some lunch before he flew us back to Quilpie, but we were too distressed to eat anything so we said 'Hello' to Toms wife Margaret, but she was affected by the way we looked and couldn't speak without tearing up, so we said 'goodbye' and got under way. It was a silent trip home and we were deep in thought. It was late afternoon when we landed in Quilpie. Daddy was there to pick us up and help refuel the chopper. He took one look at us and choked up and helped Tom get his chopper ready for his trip back home in the morning. Tom was going to stay with us overnight again.

When they were finished with the chopper they looked at each other and, Tom put his arm around Daddy’s shoulders, and must have warned him how stressful the grave experience had been for me. Daddy knelt down and opened up his arms, and I fell into them and sobbed all over again because he was now openly crying as well. He had lost his wife two years ago and his son a year before that, and seeing me in this state brought back all his pain once more.

To be continued.

Next time getting over the visit to my sisters grave and making plans for Rita's sixteenth birthday.

Previously:

When they were finished with the chopper they looked at each other, and Tom put his arm around Daddy’s shoulders, and must have warned him how stressful the grave experience had been for me. Daddy knelt down and opened his arms and I fell into them and sobbed all over again, because he was now openly crying as as well. He had lost his wife two years ago and his son a year before that, and seeing me in this state brought back all his pain once more.

Daddy was as bad as me and couldn't stop sobbing because he had been bottling up his feelings for so long that the dam just broke when he held me. We must have looked a sorry sight as we were hugging each other.

Mummy came up to us and said, “Come on you two, lets go home and have something to eat and have a quiet talk about what happened out at Jeans grave.”

We all got into the Land Rover and Tom Granger drove us home because Daddy was too upset to drive. Mummy put her arm around him and Rita put her arm around me. Tom Granger must have thought 'What have let myself into?'

When we arrived home no-one said much in case we all started to cry again, and we all had a hot chocolate drink in our hand. It was then that Tom said maybe it wasn't such great a idea to visit Jean's grave after all.

Mummy replied, “I think it was a good idea because the grieving that went on out there is exactly what we all needed.”

Tom said, “Well I’m glad that we accomplished something today and not just keeping my flying hours up. Margaret has been nagging me to buy a house in a town so that when she wants to get away from the isolation of River Downs she has somewhere to go. Seeing we have both known Bill and his late wife Ann for along time it would be appropriate to have a little look around Quilpie.”

I piped up and said, “My Aunty Bella from Brisbane has just bought a house just down the road from us.”

“Well that’s real handy for you to visit any time you feel like it Carla,”said Tom. “By the way,” he continued, “Donna where is that ex-husband of yours?”

Mummy said, “Well Tom, I really don’t care about him, but it is a shame that he has turned young John into a copy of himself. That boy was such a quiet and nice little boy till James took him out with all the grown up workmen on your station. Mind you,Tom, it wasn't your fault. It would not have made any difference if you had tried to stop James, he would have left me even earlier. I would not have lost Carla's little sister like that, if James had taken me into Charleville a week before I was due to give birth. Even if Margaret being a nurse, had been there to help, things might have been different and we would now have two identical girls.

Tom liked Mummy, and I think he was feeling a bit guilty for not doing more to make sure that Mummy had all the help that she needed. It was getting late and it had been a big day so we all said goodnight and crawled into bed.

Rita said, “Carla, how about we try and talk to Jean. Do you think you will be able to concentrate enough to be able to let her talk to me as well?”

“Dunno, she might if I try hard enough. Let's lay down and hug each other real tight and see what happens.” I didn't know if this would work. I knew I could talk to Jean any time I wanted to, but Rita had always been asleep when she had seen her.

Rita and I cuddled real tight and I said, “Rita, just relax and think of what Jean looked like the last time you saw her in a dream and it might just work.”

I closed my eyes and thought of my twin, and she was there instantly, and was giggling and said in my mind “Carla you are funny, why did you cry over a heap of bones in the ground this morning? I am here with you, I'm not in the ground.”

So I decide to get a little bossy with my clever sister on the other side of life.

I said in full voice. so Rita could hear what I was saying to Jean, “Ok smarty pants, if you’re so clever then you should be able to make Rita and Mummy be able to hear and see you too.”

Jean replied and said “Ok here we go Carla, you concentrate on Rita, and I will see if I can communicate through you but don’t fall asleep or the contact will be lost.“

This was exciting because if this worked, Mummy would be able to see her other little daughter as well.

“Alright here we go,” I said “Rita don’t go to sleep, and concentrate on Jean and if she appears to you, just start talking as though she is right here in bed with us.”

I kept quiet and let Jean talk to Rita, and low and behold Rita said, “Oh wow Jean I can see you in my mind as clear as a bell.”

Then Jean spoke to Rita and I could listen in to their conversation but kept quiet. The whole thing only lasted for about thirty seconds but was enough for me to want to try and do the same with Mummy. It was obvious that the three of us were closely connected in spirit and soul alike.

We dropped off to sleep still in a cuddle. We didn't need an alarm clock those days because I left the bedroom door ajar to let Ginger in and she came in at the same time every morning. She was usually very gentle and licked my hand, or if my foot was out of the blanket she went for that. She was a very loving animal and we had become very attached to each other.

(Sunday) Rita and I dragged ourselves out of bed, had a shower and went into the warm kitchen. It was winter and the only warm place was in the kitchen because of the combustion stove that never went out. Tom was coming with us to church and he was already in the kitchen and started cooking breakfast for us all to save Mummy from having to do it. That was a big change from when we lived on River Downs because Mummy did all the cooking back then.

Rita and I were already dressed so we sat down and ate and decided to walk to church that morning and take Ginger with us and we would tie her up outside the church till the service was over. We left the adults to do their own thing and strolled down the road to the church and when we got there it was half an hour before the service was to start, so we sat down on a bench and let Ginger run around and sniff all the places where some other dog has left their calling card.

The Smith family turned up just before Tom, Mummy, and Daddy arrived and as we were walking towards the entrance to the church, us kids hung back so that we could find a seat away from the oldies for a change. I don’t know if Mummy approved but it was too late now because Father Brian was already at the pulpit. When the service was finished we slipped out to the games shed to have a quick game of darts. The adults always wanted to talk for a while and have a cuppa and some cake in the hall, so we were safe for a little while to have some fun. We went home and did some cleaning and washing before Rita and Mummy went to work at the restaurant and give Linda and Alice a well deserved break. Tom and Daddy went off to have a look at the house that Tom was thinking of buying so I was left to do my own thing once more.

I decide to to sort out all the clothes that were bought for me in Brisbane, and the things that I received for my birthday. All had to be ironed and put away in the wardrobes and drawers. It was nearly five pm when I finished doing that, and I was dog tired and sat down in Daddy’s favourite lounge chair and promptly fell asleep. Daddy and Tom must have been real quiet when they saw me asleep, because when I woke up at six thirty I had a blanket over me and a pillow under my head and Ginger laying at the side of the chair watching over me.

Tom came in to the lounge and said “Hello Sleeping Beauty, awake at last! Your Daddy was going to carry you into bed, but Ginger wouldn't have a bar of that and growled at him when he went to pick you up, so he got a blanket and pillow and made you more comfortable where you were.”

Daddy had made some sandwiches and brought them into the lounge for me to eat, so I just stayed in his big chair.

He said, “Sweetheart, Ginger is so protective of you now that even I can't touch you when you're asleep, so no-one is ever going to steal my little princess are they?”

“Daddy what am I going to do when I have to go to normal school? She will cry all day till I come home.”

Daddy said, “Well Carla, I don’t think we will have to worry just yet because I think your Mummy wants to home school you a bit longer till we sort out your medical problem.”

I replied, ”Yeah I know, as long as I can have some friends over sometime it wont be to bad I guess.”

“Well! have you asked that little Jenny over yet? I know her dad pretty well, and I think it is a good idea to invite her to stay over for a whole weekend. I'll tell you what, I’ll ring her Dad tomorrow and see what we can work out.”

Mummy and Rita walked through the door at nine o'clock, and they both looked really tired and said seeing that they had eaten at the restaurant they would just go to bed. After the kitchen was cleaned up that is what the rest of us did as well.

(Monday) Everything was back to normal this morning people rushing around getting ready for another day of toil. When all the workers gave me a hug and said “Be good today” I was a little bit depressed not to be going with them.

Tom Granger was still there and could see how I was sulking and said, “Carla, how is your school-work coming along?”

I replied, “Well I am so far in front that if I went on a months holiday to Surfers Paradise I would still be ok.”

“Ok” he said, “I’m going to give your Mum a ring and see if you can come with me this morning to get your approval of the house down the road that I will buy before I fly back to River Downs.

I thought 'Wow he wants me to approve of the house he is going to buy.'

Mummy must have said it was ok because he came back from Daddy’s office and said,“Ok Kiddo lets go and have a look to see if the house meets with your approval shall we?”

I replied, “Sure boss let's go.”

Tom was using Mummy's Land Rover to get around while he was in Quilpie and said as we got in “It's good to get behind the wheel of this old girl again.”

I said “Yeah, Mummy loves to drive it better than Daddy's automatic car.” We arrived at the house and it was only three doors down from the house that Aunty Bella bought the other day. Won't that be handy for me to go and visit them when I take Ginger for a walk?

The estate agent was waiting there for us to turn up.

Tom said “Good morning Jill, I brought a little friend of mine along to give her approval of the house, because she will most likely be spending some time here as well.”

It was a large rambling old Queenslander with verandahs all the way around.

'I'm going to own one of these one day' I thought to myself.

“Well!” said Tom, “What do you think Carla? Is it the right one for me and Margaret to spend some time in?”

I replied, “Will I be able to bring Ginger inside when I visit you?”

“Well if that is all it takes to meet your approval than of course you can bring Ginger inside!”said Tom.

After that, Tom followed the estate agent back to her office, which was two doors down from Mummy's restaurant and he said, “Sweetheart, you go and say 'G'day' to your Mum while I sign some papers so I can get back to River Downs before nightfall.”

I walked into the restaurant and saw Alice wiping down some of the tables and said, “G'day Alice, can I give you a hand with that?”

She replied, “What are you doing here Carla?”

“Got bored so here I am.”

“Ok, here's a dry cloth. You dry after I wipe the tables.” Mummy was out in the kitchen so she didn't know that I was there.

Just then Tom walked in and said to Alice “A coffee and a couple of scones please.” Mummy heard Tom and came out to where I was still wiping the tables and said, “Carla, you know you should not be out here working. Some one will think I am using child labour.”

Tom winked at me and said “Yeah and we will all have to go to jail.”

I replied, “OHH” and promptly sat down and said, “But I’m a customer officer.”

Mummy shook her head and said, “Ever the joker! That's my Carla.”

Tom had his morning tea and called Daddy to take him out to his chopper. He gave me a big hug and a kiss,and said “See ya” and he was gone.

Mummy said “Right Missy! I’ll drive you home so you can do school work, and not wipe down tables in a restaurant.”

I replied “Mummy I'll walk home.”

“No Carla, I don’t want you walking around town without Ginger being with you, do you understand?”

“Yes Mummy” I replied. I thought 'What does she think, some one is going to kidnap me or something?' ''rolling eyes.''

The rest of my day was normal, and I did as I was told like a good little girl and finished all my set work for the day, and took Ginger for her daily walk to the park.

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly. I met Jenny at the park on Wednesday and she was all excited that her Mum and Dad said she could have a sleep over on the upcoming weekend.

(Thursday) I saw Ricky at the park and we were sitting on the double swing and he pulled the swings together and kissed me full on my lips. 'OOHH boy, I am never going to wash my lips again.'

Ricky said, “Yummy, you taste nice Carla.”

I couldn’t speak for a full minute and said, “Um -um Ricky, Mummy said we are only supposed to be friends and no kissing is allowed.”

Ricky replied “Yeah, but what they don't know won't hurt 'em.” I went home with shaky legs, and kept licking my lips. 'So much for just being friends I thought.'

I told Rita about Ricky kissing me and all she said was, “Yeah! did you like it?”

I replied, “What if Mummy finds out?”

“You don’t have to tell her do you?”

“But if I lie too much God will punish me won't he?”

“But Carla, kissing someone is not a punishable offence.”

“Oh, ok then, - and yes it was really nice. “

“Yeah I know! Peter is a real good kisser too.”

Mummy came into our bedroom but didn't hear what we were talking about because we were almost whispering about our kissing episodes.

Mummy said “Your Uncle Tony and Aunty Bella are coming to inspect the house that they have bought tomorrow morning, and they are coming in a small private charted plane and we will be putting them and the pilot up tomorrow night. They will fly back to Brisbane on Saturday morning.

I said,“But Mummy, Jenny is supposed to be coming to stay for the weekend and there will be nowhere for every one to stay.”

“Carla don’t be such a drama queen. You can put that bed you used for Samantha back in your room ok?”

“Yes Mummy.”

Rita said, “Mum, now that you are here do you want to try and see if we can get Jean to communicate with you through Carla? It is working with me.”

Mummy said, “It is getting late, but if Carla really wants to try this then ok, lets try it.”

I said “Ok Mummy, you haven't seen what she looks like, so I will have to concentrate on her first and see if she is willing to have a go at making you see her in your mind.”

Rita stayed on her bed, and Mummy came and cuddled me and then I began to concentrate on my sister, again she was there instantly and she knew what I was trying to do. I told Mummy to just close her eyes and think of the day that she saw Jean after the birth while she was still alive.

Through me it was happening. Mummy started to tremble and I knew then that she had seen Jean her twin daughter in her mind. There was no talking and it only lasted for thirty seconds but Mummy started to cry with emotion so Rita came and hugged Mummy from the other side. This was a very emotional experience for all three of us. Mummy had seen Jean in her pretty blue and white gown and was overwhelmed by the whole experience and went to sleep with me in my bed. Rita went out to Daddy and told him what had happened so he wouldn’t be worried.

To be continued

Next time: Jenny's stay and Rita’s sweet sixteenth birthday. Maybe more ''kissing.''

Previously:

Through me it was happening. Mummy started to tremble and I knew then that she had seen Jean her twin daughter in her mind. There was no talking and it only lasted for thirty seconds and Mummy started to cry with emotion so Rita came and hugged Mummy from the other side. This was a very emotional experience for all three of us Mummy had seen Jean in her pretty blue and white gown and was overwhelmed by the whole experience and went to sleep with me in my bed. Rita went out to Daddy and told him what had happened so he wouldn't be worried.

(Friday 29/5 /59) Mummy was still in my bed and Ginger didn't know whose hand she was suppose to lick seeing I was already awake. I pulled my hand back under the blanket so she could lick Mummy's hand instead of mine, just to see what Mummy would do. I know! I have a "wicked sense of humour." Ginger hesitated for a minute but I nodded my head and to my surprise she knew she was allowed to lick Mummy's hand. By this time Rita was sitting up in bed with a grin on her face and her hand over her mouth, so as not to start to giggle before our little joke was over. Ginger licked Mummy's hand very gently and sat back. Mummy had a smile on her face and opened her eyes but didn't even realise that Ginger had licked her hand. Ginger is a very gentle dog unless she or her master is threatened.

Mummy said, “Wow Carla, I slept like a log after I saw Jean. I must have fallen asleep because I could feel myself tremble and then Jean seemed to be sitting on this bed. It was a dream but so vivid and so real. She was speaking with me and said she loved me and then she just faded. Carla, thank you darling. Now I know what you experienced with your twin.”

I said, “Mummy, it is not a dream. She is as real as you and me only in the spirit world.”

Daddy knocked on the half open door and said “Well ladies, was it a success?”

Mummy got up and gave Daddy a big hug and a very passionate kiss and said, “Bill darling, my life will never be the same after what Carla did for me last night. Do you realise that I actually saw Carla's twin sister, and she looks exactly like this little one. If I didn't believe before then I certainly do now.” She kissed Daddy again, and both Rita and I said, “Do you two want to get a room or what?”

Mummy and Daddy walked hand in hand to have a shower together. Rita and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes and had a giggle fit.

It was a work day so everything was all systems go, and here I was doing damn school work again. I thought to myself, 'How many bloody years do I have to do this anyway? I just want to work with animals. How many sums do you have to know to study wild animals?' I don't like maths but I do like social studies, so I will know all about the world.

It was eleven o'clock and I was getting hungry so I decided to go out to the vegie garden and picked the last of this year's strawberries, so I could have some of Mummy's home-made ice cream and strawberries. I know that is a dessert but no one is looking and it's like Ricky said, 'What they don’t see wont hurt 'em'.

I was sitting out in the warm sun eating my morning "tea dessert" when I saw a plane fly in a circle around the town and thought 'That must be the plane that Uncle Tony chartered to come for a visit.'

I gave Daddy a ring and said “I think that plane that just flew over us must be Uncle Tony, Daddy! Are you going to pick them up from the landing strip?”

“Yeah I’m on it boss,” replied Daddy.

I thought, 'I wonder how long before my aunt and uncle would be living just down the road from me?' I went and made sure that the two spare bedrooms were clean and tidy with clean sheets and pillow cases on the beds. 'Well I am a girl and girls do these things.' It was getting close to lunch-time, so I went to the freezer and pulled out some Irish stew and put the containers in the oven so that when people arrived they could have a nice hot meal because it was blowing a cold westerly at that moment and the chill factor was really low.

I heard a car pull into the driveway and knew it would be Daddy because Ginger seems to have a special bark when she greets Daddy. He didn't come inside because he had to go back to the garage to sort out some stuff he said. So Uncle Tony came in first, and picked me up like a little kid and hugged and kissed me on both cheeks like they do in the movies. Very embarrassing I must say. Then it was Aunty Bella's turn but she didn't pick me up, thank God.

Uncle Tony said, “That smells mighty good Carla, is that for us?” and added, “Awe you shouldn't have.”

Aunty said, “Tony stop teasing the girl will you?”

I replied “ Its ok Aunty Bella, he's a man and and they are allowed to be funny.”

Just then a tall man with little wings attached to his shirt pocket knocked on the kitchen door and said, “May I come in and join the party?”

I said, “Yeah you're just in time to have some of my Mummy's Irish stew.”

He said, “Thanks. My name is Steve and you must be the famous Carla?”

I felt my face get hot and thought steam would come out of my ears any time now. Steve is a nice man and he asked me all about where we came from and what I was doing at home and not in school. I told him why I was home schooled and he seemed to be amazed when I showed him all the radio equipment in my special room set up for me. I even let him say hello on the two way to my teacher, he was truly impressed with how it all worked. Then we all got into Mummy's old Land Rover and drove into town and dropped Steve off to have a look around Quilpie and probable go and have a couple of beers at the pub.

We then went back to the house that Uncle and Aunty bought. All the papers have been signed and they can move in any time they want. It is a nice big home and has a large shed which is why uncle bought it, Aunty Bella said their house in Brisbane was already sold and, so was the taxi business, so there was nothing stopping them from packing up and moving to Quilpie in the next couple of weeks. Uncle was waiting for someone outside to turn up, and I asked Aunty Bella what he was up to and she rolled her eyes and said there was a man coming to build a tower for a television antenna.

Uncle Tony was not going to miss his football for anyone. Aunty Bella and I walked through the house and made a note of what had to be done once she was living there. Of course I made lots of suggestions about colours for new curtains “and lots of pink is needed” I said, and Aunty Bella said, “Yes of course dear,” but I think she was just saying that to make me happy.

Anyway the man turned up to give Uncle Tony a quote to build his tower. He gave the go ahead to do it and only then did he come in to look around inside and went straight to the lounge room to see where he would set up his television set. Aunty Bella said, “Carla dear, you Rita, and your Mum will be able to come down and watch movies when we can get Tony away from the football.”

I said, “I will just look at him with my magic eyes and he will watch the movies with us Aunty Bella.”

She replied, “I believe you could too. Tony is putty in you hands.”

Tony said, “Well as long as she comes and visits us often I wont mind.”

It was getting late so we went looking for Steve the pilot and found him talking to Mummy at the restaurant, We all stayed there to have tea with the rest of the customers and people from the caravan park who all ate at Donna's Carvery.

We all got home at nine pm and were tired, Steve, Aunt and Uncle all needed a shower so we left them to it and went to bed. Rita and I talked for a while about her birthday in a weeks time and I asked her if she was going to have a big party just like I did and she replied “Nah don’t want nothin' like that, just family and the few people I have met while working with Mum, and Peter of course.”

“Of course” I said, rolling my eyes.

(Saturday) Rita and Mummy didn't have to be at work till mid afternoon and had quite a bit of housework to do, but I had Jenny coming to stay for the weekend and had to move a bed into my room because Rita wanted to get to know Jenny as well to make sure if she found out about my little problem she wouldn't cause me any trouble. Jenny's Mum drove into the driveway at nine o’clock and carried Jenny's bag up onto the verandah and said, “Hello Carla, I've seen you at church talking with Jenny and her friends. It's nice to meet you.”

Just then Mummy turned up and said, “Hello Mrs Carson, thanks for letting Jenny stay for the weekend with Carla. They have been friends for a while ever since they met at the park down the road,”

“That's ok, but call me Jan. We have known Bill for a long time and I was friends with Ann,”

Mummy said “In that case I'm Donna and that's Rita my other daughter.”

Jenny and I hugged and went straight to my bedroom and were talking twenty to the dozen when Rita followed us and said “Jennifer I know you are a good friend of Carla's but have to be told something straight away so we don't have any trouble later.” I started to panic and looked at Rita with a worried look on my face.

Rita said, “Carla, she has to know because she is sleeping next to you.”

Jenny interrupted Rita and said, “If it is about Carla's medical problem, it's ok Daddy knows Mr Croft, and that was discussed before I was allowed to come and stay here. I love Carla and I would never do anything to hurt her in any way.”

I was in tears by now and Jenny sat down with me on my bed and hugged me till I stopped crying.

Rita said “I’m sorry Carla, but I had to make sure that you do not ever have any problems.”

Jenny said, “Carla, Mummy has told me about what your problem is and I don’t care about that and I will not let anyone hurt you. I was only six when Paul committed suicide and I was so sad and cried for days, because he used to baby sit me and I always called him my brother. I knew he was different and that he liked boys instead of girls but he was so gentle with me, so Carla I will always be your friend.”

While this was going on Mummy and Jenny's Mum were having the same conversation outside. Jenny and I walked out to where Mummy was, holding hands and I said “Mummy, Jenny is cool with my problem so don't worry,”

“Yes I know darling. Jenny dear, come and say 'bye to your Mum so she can go home.”

After Jenny's Mum left, Aunt Bella, Uncle Tony and Steve the pilot asked Daddy to take them to the air strip to where the plane was parked, which Daddy had to help refuel because he had the contract to supply the special petrol they use for aeroplanes.

Daddy took the Land Rover because he had some pumping equipment on the back of it, so Mummy had to take his automatic car which she really didn't like driving. She and Rita made some lunch for me and Jenny before they went off to the restaurant to get things ready for the Saturday night rush. It was always the busiest night of the week. So we were left to do what ever we liked as long as we didn't get ourselves into trouble. Jenny wanted to see all the clothes that were bought for me In Brisbane. And I still hadn’t had a chance to have my little fashion show, so I got stripped down to my undies and started pulling things out of the wardrobe, Jenny was the same size as me so she stripped off to her undies too.

When we stood there looking at each other in panties and nothing else she said “Carla you don't look any different to me down there are you sure you have a problem?”

I replied, “Yeah I don't have a vagina like you do but they will fix that when I get older.” She said, “Can I have a look, and you can see mine if you want?”

I said, “You can have a look but you can't tell any one about it ok?” So we both pulled down our panties at the same time.

I said, “I know what a girl is supposed to look like because I always shower together with Rita.”

Jenny said, “Carla you don’t look a lot different to me. I thought you would have a bag down there but you only have a bit more of a button than I have.”

“Does it get bigger when you play with it?”

“No, it stays the same all the time but feels nice when I rub it, but don't tell Rita or Mummy will you.”

“Carla you are a girl like me, but have to have an operation to fix you up when you get older, and I will be you best friend forever and ever, cross my heart and hope to die.”

After the inspection of each other's bodies, we got in to our fashion show and tried all my new things on, and Jenny said, “When you come to stay at my place you could try all my things on too and we could do some swapping, because Brenda and June always swap clothes but they are not my size, so until now I have been missing out.”

I said, “Isn’t it great that we are the same size? I like pink - what’s your favourite colour Jenny?”

Jenny replied, “Yellow definitely yellow.”

I said “My twin sister Jean wears a blue and white gown and she looks just like me.”

I thought to myself 'I might as well tell her about my ability to talk with my twin sister on the other side.'

Jenny said, “I was told that you had a twin sister that died a few hours after she was born but you can't see dead people.”

I thought 'Here goes - I am going to have to tell her everything now.' Jenny just sat there with big eyes as I told her all about me being an identical twin and we shared one soul. She didn't say anything till I was finished explaining all about how the spirit world is as real as our own and when we die we will live on the other side.

Jenny said “Wow, can I see her too?” I said, “I don’t think it works with anyone that is not related to them. Mummy and Rita can, but it has to be through me.”

Changing the subject, I said, “How about we take Ginger for a run down to the park? You can use Rita's bike and we can ride to the restaurant to have lunch there.

Jenny replied, “I should have brought my bike, I will next time, but Carla I haven't got any money to buy any thing at the restaurant.”

I said, “Mummy won't charge you anything, silly.” So off we went and got our bikes out and took Ginger with us to the park. She had learned to run after the bike without needing a lead. She listened to me and did anything I ask her to do.

We got to the restaurant and I got Ginger her bowl of water and told her to sit and stay. She didn't need to be tied up any more, she didn't move till I come back to fetch her. I went into the kitchen with Jenny and said 'Hello' to Mummy and the others and asked for a bone for Ginger.

Rita said, “Do you two want to have lunch? I take it that is why you're both here, am I right?”

We both nodded and said at the same time “What's for lunch?”

Alice said, “The same as what the other paying customers are having.”

Jenny said “But we don’t have any money.”

Alice replied, “Just kidding! go and sit down at a table and I will get it for you.”

After we finished eating our lasagne, we collected Ginger who wanted to take her bone, so I put it in a carry bag and hung it from the handle bars of my bike. We rode to Daddy's garage to say 'G'day.' He was in his office when we got there, so we walked right in and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Jenny did the same and said, “Oops sorry! So used to doing that to my Daddy.”

Daddy said, “That’s alright Jenny, it is not as if I don't know you is it?”

Jenny said “Can I call you Uncle Bill now that Carla and me are joined at the hips?”

Daddy said,”Sure no worries Jenny, but you better tell your Mummy or I could get into trouble.”

Jenny said,“Ok Uncle Bill.” with a big smile on her face and winking at me. We went home and I gave Ginger her bone and told her to stay outside till she finished the bone. I think she must have buried it because she came inside the house five minutes later minus the bone. We didn't really need the bed for Jenny because we cuddled up and went to sleep giggling, much to Rita's annoyance.

Sunday was spent much the same and Jenny's Mum came to pick her up late in the afternoon, Jenny was all excited and said, “Mummy, I scored an uncle over the weekend, and I had the best time, and can Carla come to our place next weekend?” all in one breath.

Jenny's Mum replied,“Darling, I don't know about next weekend. We will have to talk to Carla's Mum first, and yes Bill called me and said you called him Uncle and yes it is ok to do that if you want. He might want to adopted you like he has Carla.

Jenny said “Mummy that's silly - what would Daddy say?”

“He might say that'd be cheaper for us.”

I waved Jenny and her Mum goodbye and rang Mummy to pick me up to take me to the restaurant to have my tea there because the freezer at home was near on empty.

To be continued.

Next time: Rita's birthday, Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony come to town, and a visit from a Brisbane Doctor with some news.

Please leave some comments. Roo :)

Previously:

We didn't really need a bed for Jenny because we cuddled up and went to sleep giggling, much to Rita's annoyance, Sunday was spent much the same way and Jenny's Mum came to pick her up late in the afternoon.

Jenny was all excited and said, “Mummy, I scored an uncle over the weekend, and had the best time, and can Carla come over to our place next weekend?” all in one breath.

Jenny's Mum replied, “Darling I don't know about next weekend, we will have to talk to Carla’s Mum first, and yes Bill called me, and said you called him uncle and yes it's ok to do that if you want. He might want to adopt you like he has Carla.”

Jenny said, “Mummy that's silly, what would Daddy say?”

“He might say that'd be cheaper for us!”

I waved Jenny and her Mum goodbye and rang Mummy to come and pick me up to take me to the restaurant to have my tea there because the freezer at home was near on empty.

Monday 1/6/1959
The start of another boring week of school work, but what else can a kid my age do? I finished my set work by eleven am and was bored, so seeing Ginger was pacing up and down the verandah, it was time for me to take her for a run behind my bike down to the park where I could throw her a ball for her to fetch and bring it back to me to throw again and use up all her pent up energy.

We got to the park and Ginger was barking at something in a trash can, I thought it must have been a snake or a lizard but as I got closer I could hear a little kitten crying. I got closer and had a look and couldn't see a kitten, but there was a hessian bag tied off at the top with some wire I was careful not to put my hand straight into the trash can because snakes sometimes get in them to hunt mice. I picked up a stick and poked into the trash can making sure there was no nasty surprise waiting for me. If it was a 'red belly black snake' in there and I got bitten I would only have minutes to get help or would be unconscious and I would be joining my twin. Anyway there was no snake, just a little white kitten put in there by some horrible person with a sick mind. I pulled it out of the sack and it clung to my hand because Ginger was sniffing it but not to harm it in any way. Ginger is a very gentle and intelligent dog with a lot of Australian dingo in her. I took the little pussy to the water tank in the park and put some water in my cupped hand and the little thing just lapped it up like there was no tomorrow.

I was really good with animals because back at River Downs I got really friendly with an aboriginal station worker and he didn't like living indoors but had set up a camp a little way from the homestead. I used to hang out there when he wasn’t working and listened to him tell me stories about the dream time, and this is also how I learned about bush tucker and as I said earlier I could go bush and survive and hide forever. I also learned how to tell the sex of animals that live in the bush, that is why I knew the little pussy cat was a girl. She was pure white and would be no more than a month old. Ginger was looking like she was going to lick her but I said 'no' in case she frighten the poor little thing. Maybe later Ginger can play mother.

It was cold weather and I was wearing jeans, boots, and had a woollen jumper on and I put the little kitten inside my jumper to keep it warm, (it actually went to sleep there!), got on my bike and rode home. It was lunch time so I made myself a sandwich and fed Ginger some raw mince mixed with some vegies in it.

Once I had my sandwich I decided to make a bed for the little pussy and went out to the shed and got an old washing trolley basket and put an old baby blanket in it. I took her out of my jumper and placed her in her new home. She looked like a ball of white cotton in a pink baby blanket. I decided right then to call her 'Fluffy'. Ginger was doing the mummy thing and laid down beside the basket which I left in the warm kitchen.

I rang Mummy and asked her to buy a baby's bottle so I could feed my new little friend.

Mummy said, “Alright darling, but you will have to wait till I get home to night, I might get Linda to drop it home for you. It sounds like the poor little mite needs to have some food or it might not survive.

I said, “Mummy, Ginger is acting all concerned and is lying beside the basket.”

Mummy said, “Ginger had puppies two years ago so she probably thinks she has to look after the little kitten.”

“'Fluffy' Mummy, her name is Fluffy.” I replied

“Alright sweetheart, I’ll see you tonight.” said Mummy.

Linda dropped the bottle off and came in and had look at Fluffy, and said to see if I could get it to take some milk and build up its strength because heaven only knows how long the poor little thing was in that trash can. I warmed up some milk and put it in the baby bottle with a teat on. I picked up Fluffy and got her to suck on the bottle and was surprised when she sucked for all she was worth. She is going to survive quite well.

When everyone got home that night, Fluffy was the centre of attention and they could see why I named her Fluffy.

Daddy said “I would like to get hold of whoever put her in a bag like that. They would walk away with a higher voice.”

I said, “Daddy what would you do to their voice?”

He replied “Never mind darling, you don’t want to know.” Don't you just hate it when they say something like that? Ginger wouldn't move from her position so we just left her there looking after her new charge, and left the door ajar so she could go and do her business in the night. No one would get past her if they valued their life because at one time she was used as a guard dog at the service station station after it got broken into. No-one ever tried again after she was there.

It was really cold that night because there was a westerly wind blowing all day and after a day like that it gets to almost freezing temperatures at night in the outback, so both Rita and myself used a hot water bottle to keep our feet warm in bed. We also wore fluffy flannel pj's, it was to cold to wear nighties. I checked up one more time on Fluffy and she looked fine, and Ginger was leaning up against the basket as though she was trying to keep the kitten warm by getting closer to it. She is indeed a mother. I went to sleep feeling pleased with myself for having saved a little life that day.

Tuesday.
Ginger came in and woke me up a little earlier then she normally does, and seemed to want me to get up. She was standing at the bedroom door wagging her tail and whining a little bit as if to say 'Come on you have a little one to feed.'

I rolled my eyes, shrugged my shoulders and said, “Oh alright mummy, I am coming to feed your little baby.” 'Gee mothers' I thought. When I got to the kitchen, Fluffy was making quite a noise and I picked her up and she cuddled into me so I made her a bottle and she drank the whole bottle in minutes. 'Wow what a greedy guts'.

Daddy came out into the kitchen and said, “Bloody hell! It's only five a.m., what's all the noise about?” Then he saw me holding Fluffy like a baby and giving her the bottle of milk and he said, “Carla you are a true girl and don’t let anyone try to tell you any different. Just send them to me if they do, and I’ll sort them out real quick.”

I replied, “Thanks Daddy.”

Everyone was at work and I was in the middle of doing some horrible sums that I couldn't make head nor tail of, and was about to get on the two-way radio to the School of the Air to ask some silly question about maths, that I thought I would never have to use looking after animals anyway, when the phone rang on my school work desk. Mummy had an extension put in there so it would be easier for me to stay in touch with her at a moment's notice.

Anyway I picked it up thinking it was Mummy and said, “Hello, animal refuge, can I help you?”

It was quiet for a bit and then Uncle Tony was on the other end of the line and said, “Carla is that you you little monkey?”

I replied,“Oops sorry Uncle Tony, I thought it was Mummy.”

“Well,” he said,“We have just finished loading up the removal truck and will be driving to Quilpie in the next hour. We will probably be there before the truck, so if you can let your Mum know we should be there tomorrow afternoon some time after lunch.”

I replied, “Is Goldie coming with you in the new Land Rover?”

“Yes, she sure is. It is going to be a long trip for her, so she will have to be taken for a run when we get there.”

I said, “I'll will take her for a run together with Ginger and they can get to know each other that way as well.”

“Ok sweetheart, we'll see you tomorrow 'bye.” and he was gone.

I rang Mummy and told her the news and she said, “Oh hell, I had better get some food back in the home freezer. I'll bring some home from here tonight, Carla I’ll be coming home a bit earlier from now on too because I don’t want you to spend so much time by yourself any more.”

I said, “What about Rita and Daddy? Will they be coming home earlier too?”

Mummy replied, “Daddy probably will, but Rita will start running the restaurant a bit more with the help of Linda and Alice and her Mum Jenny.” We said 'bye and ended the call. Back to my sums, the damn phone rang again but I thought I had better not be funny this time and answered it “Hello Carla White.”

“Hi Carla sweetie, it is Jan Ryan. I forgot your Mum would be at her restaurant sorry to bother you I'll hang up and give her a ring there.”

I said “Mrs Ryan can I help you with anything?”

She replied, “Oh I might as well tell you it concerns you anyway. You probably already know that we are friends with your doctor in Brisbane.”

I replied, “Yes, Rose told me that she studied with Doctor Jim at uni, and she said she wanted to come out here to visit.”

I asked, “Is she coming to see me too?”

“Yes Carla, I think she might have something to tell you, but you will have to wait, because I am not allowed to talk about private doctors' records sweetheart.”

I replied, “Ok, but I will grill Mummy when she comes home anyway.”

She said, “I’m sure you will Carla and she will have trouble with those big brown eyes of yours.”

I replied, “I know. I have magic in them.”

She said, “Bye Carla.”

I thought 'I hope they don’t tell me I have to go back to being a boy because I will take Ginger with me and disappear into the bush, never to be found again.'

I was waiting eagerly for Mummy to come home so I could grill her about Doctor Rose's visit. I made sure everything was ready for Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony because they would want to stay with us for a few days till their house was all set up and of course Uncle Tony's television to be set up. Mummy came home at four o'clock. and Rita was with her as well.

I said, “Wow, I must be important for both of you to come home early.”

Rita said “You’re not the only one that is important around here you know sis.”

I gave Rita a hug and said,”Rita I love you and you are the most important person in my life.”

Mummy said,“Hey watch it kid.”

I said, “Sorry Mummy.”

She replied, “I should think so.”

When things settled down, I cornered Mummy and said, “Mummy what is Rose going to tell me when she visits on Friday?”

“Carla, I doubt that it is anything bad, so you will just have to be patient like the rest of us, I know that is going to be hard for you but that is just the way it is ok?”

“Ok Mummy.” I replied.

While Mummy got busy with filling the freezer with food she brought home from the restaurant and getting our tea ready for when Daddy arrived home, Rita and I were playing with Fluffy and Ginger and I said, “Rita what are you going to do on your birthday on Saturday?”

She replied, “Mum said seeing that I didn't want to have a party at the restaurant, we would have a barbecue here in the backyard at lunch time and I can invite anyone I want have here.”

I said “Can I have my friends over too?”

“Yeah of course, the more the merrier.” she replied.

Wednesday
It was another normal day and I waited to take Ginger to the park until Uncle Tony turned up so I could take Goldie for a run after being cooped up in the back of the Land Rover for hours on end. It is usually a two day trip by car from Brisbane with constant driving, so with two drivers it is not too bad. They arrived at three thirty in the afternoon, so it gave me plenty of time to take the two dogs for a walk. I didn't ride my bike this time because Goldie would not be used to going for a walk without a lead. Goldie greeted me by jumping up and putting her paws on my shoulders and licking my face and almost knocking me over. Ginger came bounding out and they hit it off straight away much to my surprise, well, they are both girls after all!

After being hugged and kissed to death by two Italians, I took the two girls for a walk down to the park, and Ricky was there on his bike, I think he must be missing talking to me. We played around with the dogs and sat on those swings again, I thought 'Oh boy I am going to be kissed again.' and Ricky said “Carla I felt really strange last time I kissed you. What about you, what did you feel?”

I replied, “Kiss me again and I will tell you.”

Ricky complied with my command and I closed my eyes and Jean was there with a big smile on her face and said, “Go on then, I wont tell Mummy if you don’t.”

It was too late. Ricky had planted the kiss and it was like an electric shock going up and down my spine. and I could hear Jean in my mind laughing and then fading away. Ricky fell of the swing on to his bum and said “What the hell was that?”

After I recovered I said, “You have just been kissed by my twin sister, Ricky.”

He said, “Shit, that could kill someone Carla.”

I replied, “But did you like it?”

He said “Yeah, but I don’t think we had better do it again today or I won't be able to ride home.” We both swore each to secrecy about our kissing and said bye.

I collected the two girl dogs and walked home with wobbly legs and tried to get Jean to come back into my mind but the rotten sod didn't respond.

Thursday went by fairly quickly. Uncle Tony and Aunty Belle went to their house to make sure their furniture was all unloaded without too much damage.

Friday.
I was getting anxious about Rose and what she had to tell me, so I told Mummy she had to take me to Doctor Ryan's surgery first thing or I would ride there on my bike and knock on the doctor's door myself.

She said, “Settle down Carla, it has all been arranged. Rose will be here in half an hour with Jim and they will tell you all about it.”

I was sitting on hot coals and was thinking all sorts of things and not all good either. They turned up and by this time I had Mummy hugging me because I was so upset I was crying.

Rose walked in and got on her knees and put both her hands on my shoulders and said “Sweetheart, it is good news, so stop all this and dry those pretty brown eyes of yours and let me tell you what we have discovered from the x-rays and blood tests ok?”

I said in between sobs “Oo -k-k-y,” Rose.

“Right, here it is. Carla you are what is called intersexed which means that you have a bit of both boy and girl in you, but in your case you seem to be eighty percent girl so we are going to put you on a very low dose of female hormones for now till you reach your puberty and reassess the situation about any surgery in a couple of years, so don’t worry, you will never be a boy, do you understand?”

I said, “So I can stay being a girl for the rest of my life?”

“Yes Carla, that is what I just said.”

I jumped into her arms and just said “Thank you Rose.”

Doctor Ryan then said, “Carla, I will see you next week and we will sort out what you have to do so far as medication goes. It can either be given by injection or by taking tablets but I will talk to you Mum about that in due course ok ?”

I said “Yes doctor.” and gave him a hug as well.

Rose then got back to the subject about the study she was conducting concerning identical twins and said she will be around for a couple of days and would I mind if she brings her tape recorder and camera to do the the interview? She also said that Mummy had agreed to do the filming for her.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “As long as I can stay a girl she can film me any time she wants.”

Mummy and Rose both laughed and Mummy said “That's our Carla.”

To be continued.

Next time: The interview and Rita’s barbecue with Peter and some new friends.

Please leave some comments.

Red belly black snake

Previously:

Doctor Ryan then said, “Carla, I will see you next week and we will sort out what you have to do as far as medication goes. It can either be given as an injection or by taking tablets but I will talk to your Mum about that in due course ok?”

“Yes doctor.” I said, and gave him a hug as well. Rose then got back to the subject about the study she was conducting about identical twins and said she will be around for a couple of days and would I mind if she brings her tape recorder and camera to do the interview, and that Mummy has agreed to do the filming for her. I shrugged my shoulders and said, “As long as I can stay being a girl she can film me anytime she wants.”

Mummy and Rose both laughed and Mummy said, “That's our Carla.”

Saturday 6/6/1959. It was Rita’s sixteenth birthday and Mummy told her she didn't have to go to work, so she could organise the barbecue for lunch today and ring the people that she wanted to come, and tell them the time to turn up. Mummy, me, Daddy, Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony were there to help with all the food so Rita didn’t have to do anything but be the hostess.

Rita is basically a very shy person and she would have preferred to have only family and the love of her life Peter to be there. Mummy talked her into inviting some of the people that are regulars at the restaurant, so we ended up with about twenty people at the barbecue Of course after the obligatory 'Happy Birthday' song, and 'She is a jolly good Sheila', Rita was asked to make a speech. Rita is a person of few words unless she knows someone really well, so her speech was short and sweet.

She said, “I want to thank every one for coming to my sixteenth birthday barbecue. Thanks for the presents, and enjoy the food and free beer.”

That was it, and then she got a big kiss from her precious Peter. Ricky looked at me and winked and I had to quickly look away because it made me think of the killer kiss we had at the park earlier this week. If Mummy found out what I was getting up to with Ricky she would probably never let me out of her sight again. Anyway it was only a kiss. Admittedly, because of 'Jean' it sat Ricky on his behind, and made me feel weak in the legs. I will not let Ricky do any more than that. I think that Jean did that on purpose so to make Ricky respect me or she will zapp him. I would have to have words with her that night in bed when all was quiet and I could concentrate on her.

Rita got some nice things given to her, mainly jewelry and a signet ring from Peter, and various dresses and shorts. The one present that surprised me was a beautiful silk skirt and blouse with matching three inch pumps. The skirt was a powder blue and the blouse was the same colour and it had delicate cream lace around the collar and at the edge of the sleeves. The shoes were two inch heels in a cream leather with a little bow just above the toes.

Mummy made her change and show Mary Winton the dress shop owner who gave it to Rita. Let me tell you Peter was dumbfounded when Rita walked out looking like a fashion model, make-up and all. I can only hope that I will look as pretty as her when I am sixteen.

Alice and her Mum Jenny, and Linda had to leave early because of the restaurant. All three hugged Rita and said goodbye. It was about three o'clock when most of the people started to go home but there a couple of people that stayed back and they were Peter's friends. The boy's name was Jason Bailey and the girl was Denise Walker and they both went to school with Peter. So it looks like there is a friendship building between the four of them which is exactly what Rita needs to bring her out of herself. Me? I'll talk the pants off a kangaroo, or like Daddy says, ''Carla, you can talk under water.''

My girl-friends Jenny, Brenda and June all stayed for a couple of more hours and because they missed out on my fashion show the other day, it was time to show them what was bought for me in Brisbane. Brenda and June were a bit miffed because they weren’t my size and couldn't try anything on but Jenny certainly did.

Anyway, their Mums eventually said, “Come on girls, time to say goodbye to Carla and go home.” Poor Ricky hung around with Uncle Tony and Daddy while I was doing girly things, but he wanted to see me before he got on his bike to ride home. We went out in the backyard to where the big gum tree was and sat on the old swing that was hanging of a branch, and I reckon it must have been there when Daddy was a boy. It is a single swing, so I had to sit on his lap and he had to put his arms around me.

It felt really nice and he said, “Carla I really like kissing you and I can't stop thinking about you. Are you the same?”

I replied, “Yeah sort of, and it feels nice when we are close like this, but we can only kiss in secret alright?

“Yeah I guess so.” he replied.

It was then that I felt his penis digging into my buttock and I realised that I must be a girl because I don’t get hard down there at all. Even when I rub it, just feels really nice, but it stays the same size, so what Doctor Rose said about the tests must be true.

I said “Ricky, I know what is happening to you down there so I had better get off your lap now.”

He said “Yeah I suppose so. I can't wait till we get older and can do what we want.”

I replied, “Yeah me too, and I jumped off his lap but, not before giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

I don't think any one saw me do that but I had to giggle when Ricky stood up and had to put his hands in front of his crotch and walked funny for a couple of minutes I thought 'Wow I did that!' and then felt a little tremble as if that naughty twin of mine was having a giggle too. I'm going to have a serious talk to her about her wanting to share my boyfriend.

Anyway Ricky got on his bike and rode home before it got dark.

Rita pulled me aside and said “Carla, I saw that and you had better behave yourself or you will find yourself in big trouble with Mum.”

I replied, "But Sis I didn't do anything!”

Rita said, “Don't you play the little innocent girl with me Carla. Next you'll be telling me that Jean made you do it.”

I replied, “As a matter of fact - ohh forget it.” and stormed off to my bedroom and cried into my pillow.

I must have fallen asleep because Mummy came in and said, “Sweetheart, Rita told me what happened on the swing earlier and this is just the type of thing I was trying to explain to you the other day about not taking things too far with Rick. He is a real nice boy but you must realise that boys are aroused when a pretty little girl like you goes sitting on their lap and giving them a kiss.”

I just looked at her with fresh tears in my eyes and said “Mummy when can I be like Rita and kiss Ricky on the lips like she does with Peter?”

Mummy replied, “Carla, I know you and Ricky are really close and tell each other everything, but if you want to kiss him just make it a peck on the cheek ok?”

“Yes Mummy.”

“Alright, now go wash your face and join us in the kitchen and have some tea.”

“Yes Mummy.”

Rita and Peter's friends were still there and were going to play a board game after tea, and Daddy would drive them home later. I sat down and had something to eat which was left-overs from the barbecue and there would be enough for a couple of more meals after tonight as well. I got up from the table and said I had better feed my baby which made them all look at me and say, “What!!”

“The kitten.” I said, “Fluffy”, rolling my eyes and said “silly people.”

After a while the laughter died down and Aunty Bella said, “Carla If you keep feeding her every few hours all we will be able to see is a big ball of fluff with a pair of blue eyes and no legs.”

I replied, “But won't she stop drinking when she is full? I do.”

Anyway there was a lady that I talked to that lived just down the road from us and she asked me to bring Fluffy down so she could identify what breed she was. The old lady ''Irene” she said her name was, said, “Fluffy is a long haired Persian and looks like a pure breed. Why anyone would want to get rid of her in such a cruel way is beyond belief.” Daddy said that he will take her to the vet in a couple of days and get her checked over and have her shots because she is a really valuable cat. I am sure Ginger and Goldie think so too. I didn't want to play in the board game, and said 'good night' to every one and went to my room to read up on how to look after pure breed cats.

I was just about to drop off to sleep when Jean made her presence felt and I closed my eyes and there she was sitting on my bed, when she said, “Carla you can open your eyes and you will be able to see me for a short while but it takes a lot of my energy to do it so if I fade you will just have to close your eyes again ok.?”

I said, “Can you do this with Mummy too?”

“No, it can only happen between us because we share the spirit soul, and we will always be connected till you come and join me when the time comes for you to cross over.”

I said, “Did you zapp Ricky on purpose when we kissed?”

“Yes Carla, we are too young to be doing that, and if Ricky keeps it up I will zapp him harder next time. Remember I am with you all the time, and I have to watch over you so you can't ever get rid of me.” Then she said “Bye for now Carla, my energy is fading.” She was gone and I fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Sunday. Daddy, Rita, and Aunt and Uncle went to church, but Mummy and I were waiting for Rose to turn up to do the interview about identical twins. She arrived just after the others had left for church and also had doctor Ryan with her because he got roped into doing the whole twin study as well.

Mummy said, “Jim, I see Rose is getting you involved with this as well?

“Yeah” he said, “She is pretty pushy, but I must admit it is very interesting to find out that your daughter is part of a spirit soul that can communicate with her.”

Mummy said, “Jim, you don’t know the half of it.” Once we were set up in the lounge with tape recorder switched on and Mummy had the very expensive looking camera worked out, the interview started.

I got to tell my story as I saw it, and both Rose and Jim asked questions and said, 'Would I think that it would work if I tried to contact Jean while they were recording?

I said “No, that it would take far to much energy for Jean to accomplish.” So I was not going to agree to that at any time soon.

Rose said, “That's ok Carla, we have more than enough to take to my next meeting with the study group.”

I replied, “What about a vagina? Will I be able to get a vagina?”

“Yes you will, but your body has to finish growing first Carla or it wont turn out right.”

I asked, “When will I stop growing then?”

Rose said “I should think that in four or five years time, so you will have to be very patient”.

I replied, “I don’t think I can wait that long.”

Doctor Ryan said “Well we will have to see how you develop and do some more x-rays and also the new ultrasound equipment these days is pretty good, so next trip to Brisbane I will be accompanying you so we don't miss anything. There might be something that they missed last time.”

When they left Mummy sat me down and said, “When they know more after the next visit to Brisbane, I will get Father Brian to look further into your birth certificate and see if we can get it to say your real name and gender and have you called 'Carla Jean Croft', because Bill is going to fully adopt you and Rita when we get married in September. How will you like that sweetheart?”

I said, “Ooh Mummy yes please! But what happened to the guy in Charleville that did the divorce for you?”

Mummy replied, “Seeing that Brian is a lifetime friend of Bill and he is a fully qualified lawyer he is going to do it all for nothing and seeing you and Rita had never been christened in a church, I told him that he could be a godfather to you both.”

I said “I didn't know Rita wasn't christened either.”

“Well,” she replied “James didn’t believe in God and wouldn't hear of it.” she continued and said, “There will be a wedding and christening at the same time if the bishop will allow it. If not one will follow the other.”

While Mummy was telling me this, the others were standing behind Mummy, because she had sat in front of me on an ordinary chair and couldn’t see the others sneak in and listen to what Mummy was telling me. It was a bit naughty of them but I think they knew most of it anyway.

Daddy came and sat beside me and said “I love you kid and I will be proud for you to carry my name.” and he had watery eyes when he hugged me tight and Rita sat down and joined in the hug.

Mummy, Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony all said in unison “Aww look at that. It's a love in!” and we all started to laugh. It was lunchtime and there was still left overs that had to be used up so that's what we had for lunch. Rita said that Ricky was asking about me and said he was worried that I wasn't at church, and thought I was in some sort of trouble.

I said, “You didn't have a go at him about kissing me did you?”

“No Sis, but I just want you to be careful ok?”

“Yes I know! The birds and bees thing.” and rolled my eyes.

Mummy said “Now now girls, no harm done.”

I was worried about Ricky and asked Mummy to ring his Mum Helen, and make sure he is alright because when he got on his bike yesterday to ride home he was in tears.

Mummy said, “I saw what was happening and had already warned Helen to talk to Ricky and explain things to him.”

I replied, “Can I ring him and make sure he is ok Mummy?”

Mummy said, “I suppose so, otherwise you'll be worried about him the rest of the day.”

I talked to Ricky for about an hour and he was ok. He said his mum sat him down and he understands and he just doesn’t ever want to lose me as a friend because of what he did. I know I shouldn't have but I said, “I love you Ricky.”

To be continued.

Next time: Another visit to the Mater in Brisbane, and the wedding and christening.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

I was worried about Ricky and asked Mummy to ring his Mum Helen, and make sure he is alright because when he got on his bike yesterday to ride home he was in tears.

Mummy said, “I saw what happened and had already warned Helen to talk to Ricky and explain things to him.”

I replied, “Can I ring him to make sure that he is ok Mummy?”

Mummy said, “I suppose so, otherwise you will be worried about him for the rest of the day."

I talked to Ricky for about an hour and he was ok, He said his Mum sat him down and he understands and he just doesn't want to lose me as a friend because of what he did.

I know I shouldn't have but I said, “I love you Ricky.”

Monday 8/6/59

Mummy had set the date for the big day. It was the first Saturday on September the fifth which was only eight weeks away, 'See I can do sums when I have to.'

I was already in the kitchen giving Fluffy a bottle when Mummy walked in and sat down at the kitchen table and said, “Carla sweetheart, you will kill Fluffy with motherly love if you are not careful, you should be trying to get her to lap milk up out of a bowl.”

I replied, “But if I don’t feed her she might die.”

“I doubt that will ever happen in this animal loving household.”

Uncle Tony and Daddy were both rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

“Ok” said Daddy, “How about feeding the workers instead of pandering to the little ball of fluff which should be drinking from a saucer?”

I said, “I know Daddy. I will wean her off the bottle in the next couple of days.”

Bella and Rita walked in to the kitchen. It was the only warm place in winter in those old houses. Western houses were built with high ceilings and breeze ways to cool the house in the hot dry summers.

Bella started to prepare breakfast for all of us. She said that she was feeling bored and would do the cooking while her and Tony were staying at our house for a couple of days, because the painters were doing some work that she wanted done before they moved in. Daddy and Uncle Tony were going down to the house that night after after work to get the television hooked up to the big antennae in the back yard. We knew we could probably have to take their tea down to them because once the television was working they would want to watch all the replays of the football over the weekend. I liked to watch 'Skippy the Bush Kangaroo' which I watched while we were in Brisbane.

I was hoping to be able to go to the state school once my birth details had been fixed because I was getting bored with being at home by myself. So I am putting the pressure on Mummy to talk to father Brian to hurry things along, as if they would take any notice of a ten year old girl 'ha!'

They all took off except Aunt Bella, who asked me, “Carla how long does it take you to do your school work?"

I replied, “That depends on what subjects Mummy and the School of the Air have set out for me for a whole week.” Aunty Bella was still in her warm dressing gown having a second cup of tea. She liked tea instead of the strong coffee that the the Italians usually drink. She said that Uncle Tony liked his coffee so strong that the stirring spoon would stand up by itself in the cup one day.

She then said, “Well I know you have your little birth defect but what is the problem? It's not as though you are going to be parading around with your knickers down around your ankles is it?”

I got a fit of the giggles at that and Aunty Bella did the same and spilt her tea over her nice white fluffy dressing gown.

“Oh shit! I will have to sponge that out straight away or it'll leave a yellow stain,” she said.

Once I stopped giggling I said, “I can usually do all my set work for the day in about three hours Aunty. Why do you want to know?”

“Well” she replied, “I am going to your friend Mary Winton, you know the lady that gave Rita that pretty outfit on Saturday,and I would like you to come with me to choose the material for the new curtains I want to sew to make the place more my style.

“Well” I replied, “If I start now I can be finished by ten o'clock, or I can just leave my school-work until we come back from the shop, but Mummy likes me to do all my stuff in the morning because she reckons that if I don't, I will not do it in the afternoon and play with the animals instead.”

Aunt Belle said, “Yeah she is probably right, with two dogs and a cat, I can see where she is coming from Carla. Alright, you get stuck in to your school work and I’ll clean up the kitchen and have a shower.”

I did all I had to do and was finished at nine thirty, so off we went to Mary's shop to choose the material for the new curtains. Of course there was a lot of pink material. Just as well Aunty Bella likes pink too. When we arrived home, Mummy's car was there and so was Father Brian's. Aunty Bella parked the new Land Rover in the shed and we made our way over to the house. I could hear Mummy crying and I ran inside to see what had happened. Father Brian was sitting next to Mummy rubbing her back saying we can work something out.

I went straight to Mummy's side and said “Mummy what is wrong did some one get hurt?”

She replied in between sobs, “I can't marry Bill in the Catholic church because of me being a divorcee.”

Aunty Bella said “I could have told you that Donna, but Bill can marry you in any other church so all is not lost.”

Brian said, “I'm good friends with the Lutheran minster and will have a word with him when I leave here Donna.”

I gave Daddy a ring and told him that Mummy was upset and could he please come home and talk with her about the wedding? He was there within ten minutes and sat down beside her on the lounge, put an arm around her and said, “Everything will be ok Darling. No bloody church is going to tell me who I can marry."

I then asked him, “What about me? Can I still be christened?”

“Yes of course you can, just not as a Catholic”

“Oh is that all?” I said. Anyway Daddy didn't go back to work because Uncle Tony was now running part of his business, which let him take things a little bit slower. Brian and Daddy went into the office and closed the door behind them, so I guess it had to do with the paper work that had to be sorted out about my birth certificate and also the process about wanting to adopt me and Rita so we could have his surname as well as Mummy when they got married.

Mummy and Bella were in the kitchen preparing lunch so I decided to have a go at making Fluffy drink from a saucer I carried the little ball of fluff out onto the verandah, put her down and put her nose down to the milk and to my surprise she started lapping at it. Of course Ginger and Goldie were there as well so I thought I would give them both a treat and gave them a bacon bone each. It wasn't long and Mummy called me to come and have some lunch. It was one o'clock, and I was wondering why my tummy was rumbling.

Before we sat down to eat, Daddy said, “Ok, some things have been sorted out so listen up ladies. Brian has spoken with Pastor Miller at the Lutheran church, and the church has been booked for Saturday the fifth of September.” He was looking at Mummy when he said it with that silly grin on his face. Mummy jumped up and wrapped him in a tight hug and let all her emotions loose and cried into Daddy's shoulder.

All I was worried about was my birth certificate being changed so I could get christened and be able to go to a normal school.

I went up to Brian and asked him straight out, “What about me Father, what happens about me? Can you fix up all my stuff too?”

Brian replied “Carla, I have been working on 'your stuff' as you so elegantly put it, for a couple of weeks now, and it is all in hand ok?” That shut me up for a few minutes, and I sat down and ate my pea and ham soup that Aunty Bella made earlier.

So the rest of the day was spent with all the adults talking about legal stuff and I left them to it. I had a basket on the verandah for Fluffy so she wouldn't wander off and get lost, and put her in there while I took Ginger and Goldie for a walk down to the park. It was getting close to school being let out, so I hung around the park a little bit longer in the hope that my friends might turn up after school. I didn't have to wait long all three girls turned up and were still in their school uniforms, which I hoped to be wearing soon as well.

If all goes to plan, once I get some papers signed from Doctor Rose and Jim Ryan after the next Brisbane visit, I’ll be able to attend a normal school. Because I look almost like a normal girl down there I will even be able to go to the girls toilets, 'it's not as though I am going to walk around without my panties on is it?' I thought to myself.' We all played with the two dogs for a while and the girls said they had a lot of homework to do so we all hugged and said bye. It was getting late so I walked home with the dogs.

When I got back, Rita was sitting on the verandah in a squatters chair playing with Fluffy.

I said, “How come your home Sis?”

Rita replied “Uncle Tony said he had done all his catching up at the service station and he gave me a ride home, seeing Mummy was home already.”

I said, “Have you been told all about the wedding in September at the Lutheran church?”

"Yep, Aunty Bella has told me all about that and also how we are going to be baptised before the wedding, so we can then also be adopted and change our name to Dad's surname.” She continued and said, “I can't wait to be called by another name Sis, what about you?”

I replied, “I don’t care what they call me as long as I am a girl. Who cares?”

Daddy came out onto where Rita and I were sitting and said “Carla, there is someone on the phone that wants to talk to you sweetheart.”

I replied “Who would want to talk to little old me?”

“Well it's long distance, so move it.”

“Yes sir, Daddy.” I replied, and as I ran past him I got a small pat on the bum, and kept running and giggling and almost ran into the wall.

Rita said, “Stop being silly and answer that phone. Hurry up!”

I got to the phone and said “Carla speaking.”

“Carla, it's Rose. Are you ready to come down to Brisbane on Thursday?”

I replied, “I guess so. Wait a minute and I’ll call Mummy to talk to you.”

She said, “Hang on a minute sweetheart, I want to talk to you first.”

I replied, “Is there a problem?”

"No Carla, on the contrary, but I will want to talk to you and your Mum and also Bill so we are all clear on what's involved in your future treatment. I have spoken with Bill and he has agreed to come down to Brisbane as well.” She then said, “You are a very lucky little little girl Carla, Bill really must love you to do this for you."

I replied “Yeah he loves all three of us girls.”

Rose laughed and said, “I'll see you on Thursday. 'Bye.”

I looked at the phone and was day-dreaming when Mummy came in and said, “Well!!”

I said, “Mummy what was all that about?”

She replied, “Well darling, you will just have to be patient till we get to Brisbane wont you?”

I replied “Aww why can't you tell me now?”

“Sweetheart, I don't know a lot more than you do but I think they will be talking to us about some sort of surgery a little bit further down the track."

I said, “Ooh Mummy will it hurt?”

“Darling you wont feel a thing because you'll be asleep when it's being done.”

I went and sat in Daddy's big old lounge chair that I reckon must be at least a hundred years old because it was left to him by his Dad and had been reupholstered a few times but he will never throw it out. Anyway I was daydreaming about being a bridesmaid at Mummy's wedding when Mummy said, “Ok, we are going to leave for Brisbane tomorrow because Bill has some business to attend to there as well."

I sat up straight and said “What?”

“Carla, you really have to stop daydreaming all the time and listen to what is going on around you or you will be left behind."

I replied, “Sorry Mummy, I was thinking about your wedding.”

“Don't remind me! We have a lot to do before then, so go and pack your clothes to take to Brisbane and remember it's winter time so jeans and warm tops ok!?”

“Yes Mummy.”

Daddy came into my room while I was packing a bag with winter clothes and said “Carla I have a chartered plane coming in the morning at eight o'clock so it will be an early start ok?”

I said, “Wow Daddy, are we going to fly from here?”

“Well from the air strip anyway Carla so get to bed and get a good nights sleep. It's going to be a big week for us all."

Tuesday

Aunty Bella was going to go with Rita to the restaurant to help out while we are away, so Mummy gave her some last minute instructions of what menus to use, not that Rita didn't know what to do but to make it easier to manage the restaurant. Uncle Tony drove us to where the six seater twin engine plane was parked and ready to take us to Brisbane. The pilot was doing his final checks outside the plane when we arrived. He opened up some doors on the side of the plane and put our luggage inside the luggage compartment. He was looking a bit worried when he saw how much we were wanting to take, because the plane had a weight limit. Anyway it must have looked heavier than it was, and it was all coming with us. We boarded the plane and it was more comfortable and bigger than it looked from the outside. There was no control tower at the strip but the pilot must have been talking to some one because he was on the radio asking permission to start the flight.

Then the engines started and within minutes we were airborne and on our way to Archerfield airport on the outskirts of Brisbane. I think it took about two hours and we were touching down at an airport that did not have any big buildings because it was only used for smaller planes and mainly for private planes. I saw a few helicopters parked outside some hangers. The pilot taxied along the runway and to a building near the road where we had to get a cab into town. Daddy talked to the pilot and arranged for our flight back home when we were ready. Mummy said if we did a lot of shopping it would have to be put on the train to send it home because we right on the limit for weight on the plane as it was.

The guy that was in the building where the plane stopped, rang for a taxi to take us into town.

I said, “Where are we going to stay while we were in Brisbane this time Daddy?”

He replied, “Donna, you can tell Carla all about what you have arranged.”

Mummy replied, “I rang Samantha’s Mum last night and I am sure you wont mind spending some time with her will you?”

“It'll be real nice to see her. Do you think she'll be allowed to go shopping with us too?”

“Sweetheart, first thing first ok? Let Daddy sort his stuff out first and then we can work out what time we can spend shopping.”

The yellow taxi arrived and we loaded all our things into the boot and got into the car. Mummy gave the driver the address to take us to and it was only a block away from the Mater hospital on Stanley street. The driver stopped in front of an apartment building. We got all our things out of the boot of the cab and Daddy paid the driver.

Mummy went up the steps and pressed a button of an intercom with a number on it and I could hear Samantha’s voice come out of the speaker she said, “Samantha Aldridge, who is it?”

Mummy replied, “Samantha, it's Donna. Can you press the unlock button on the entrance door so we can get in off the street.”

The door clicked and it was unlocked, 'It must be a security thing' I thought.

I said “Mummy, I don’t think I could live in the city if you have to lock yourself in like this.”

She replied, “Don’t worry darlin,g you're not the only one who doesn’t like the city for any more than the shopping.”

Daddy rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah well once a year is enough for me. I'm always glad to be on the way home.”

By the time we were in the foyer of the building Samantha was coming out of a lift and jumping up and down with excitement and grabbed me and gave me a bone crushing hug.

I said, “Where are the stairs?” and she pointed to a door next to the lift. I think she knows that I worry about getting stuck inside a lift if it breaks down.

She said, “Don't worry Carla, there is a panic button if that happened and it lights up a light in the building superviser's office."

The apartment was on the second floor, so we were only in the lift for a couple of minutes. The apartment was as big as a normal city house only you had no outside apart from a little balcony that fronted a busy road and all the car fumes came up from the road. Samantha’s room had a television in it, so I was thinking I might be able to talk Daddy into putting up a big tower like Uncle Tony and have a television too. We settled in and Mummy, myself and Samantha went for a walk to a little restaurant and ordered a meal. Daddy went off on his own to deal with the business he had come to Brisbane to sort out. We had our meal, walked back to the apartment and settled down and watched a girlie movie.

To be continued.

Next time: the Hospital visit, papers signed, and a look at the city from Mt Cootha.

South Brisbane in 1959.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

I said, “Where are the stairs?” and she pointed to the door next to the lift I think she knows that I worry about the lift getting stuck in the lift if it breaks down.

She said, “Don't worry Carla, there is a panic button if that happens and it lights up a light in the building supervisors office.”

The apartment was on the second floor so we were only in the lift for a couple of minutes. The apartment was as big as a normal city house only it had no outside apart from a small balcony which fronted a busy street and all the car fumes came up from the road. Samantha's room had a television in it so I was thinking I might be able to talk Daddy into putting a big tower up like Uncle Tony and have a television too. We settled in and Mummy myself and Samantha went for a walk to little restaurant and ordered a meal. Daddy went off on his own to deal with the business he had come down to Brisbane to sort out. We had our meal, and walked back to the apartment and settled down and watched to watch a girlie movie.

Samantha and I were lying on her double bed and Mummy was sitting in a lounge chair that was next to the bed because, when Mary was home they always watched movies together so it made sense to have the television set in Samantha's room. 'April in Paris' with Doris Day was the movie we were watching when the buzzer went off for the front entrance door, It was Mary, Sam's Mum, so Sam got up and pressed the door release button in the other room to let her Mum enter the main foyer of the apartment building. It was a three story building and I think it was a hotel that had been converted to apartments a couple of years previously, that's probably why it still had a lift in it.

Mary came in through the door of the apartment and said, “G'day you two,” and gave me and Mummy a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we all went and sat down in the lounge when Mary said, “Sam luv, put the kettle on to make us a cuppa will you?”

I jumped up to give Sam a hand in the very modern kitchen with a marble bench top and taps with long spouts that you can swing around. Anyway we made two cups of tea for our Mums and grabbed a bottle of Coke each for us and went back into the lounge.

Mary said, “How are you feeling now that you are being treated for your little birth defect Carla?”

I replied, “I don’t feel any different now than I always have Mary. I am a girl that needs a bit of surgery, that's all.”

Sam came into the conversation and added “Mum, she is the same as me. Remember I have the same little problem don’t I?”

“Well,” said Mary “You have two little extras that Carla doesn’t have to start with, but you are definitely girls. There's no mistake there is there?” and we had to all giggle at that as Sam and I did a curtsy together.

“Ok,” said Mummy “What about my man, Mary, what are the sleeping arrangements?”

Mary had a wicked look on her face and replied, “Oh you can sleep on the lounge Donna, and I’ll look after your beautiful man. I haven't met him but from what Sam says he is a real honey.”

Mummy had a worried look on her face but said nothing, when Mary said, “Just kidding Donna, don’t look so worried. You'll have to get used to my wicked sense of humour.”

Sam said, “Mum please behave yourself or you will chase them away.”

Mummy then said, “It's alright darling, I have the same wicked sense of humour as your mother, so watch out.”

I nodded my head in agreement and we all laughed. Just then the buzzer went and it was Daddy at the front entrance. Sam pressed the button to open the entrance door to let Daddy into the foyer. Daddy doesn’t trusts lifts and took the stairs instead. I went and opened the door to the apartment and stood just outside the door to give Daddy a big hug when he got there.

He put the briefcase he was carrying down, and lifted me up off the floor and gave me a bone-crushing hug and said, “How was your day sweetheart?”

I replied “Really good Daddy! Can we have a television too? Mummy said she wants one too and Uncle Tony put up that tower and...”

“Whoa, that's a lot of wants.” replied Daddy. He came inside the apartment and Mummy was waiting for him just inside the door and kissed him passionately on the lips and then said. “Bill can I have a television too?”

“Whoa you too!” and Mummy kissed him again and said, “I know you were talking to the man that built the tower for Tony. You can't hide anything from me you know darling.”

Daddy said “Bloody women,” Sam rushed up and put her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek and said, “I wish I had a Daddy like you! Mine was never around.”

Mary walked up behind Sam and said, “Sam you were right he is a nice man.” and put her hand out for him to shake but he took it and held it like in the movies and kissed it.

Mummy said, “Alright Casanova, you can sleep on the couch for that.” laughing while she said it.

Mary said, “Sorry Donna, I didn't mean to be so forward with your man.”

Mummy said, “It's ok Mary, I love and trust him completely,”

Mary replied, “Well I am the one that is going to sleep on the lounge because I have to be at work by six am and I normally get up at five in the mornings so you and Bill will be in my bed while you are in Brisbane, and Carla can sleep with Sam in her large double bed.”

Mummy said, “Are you sure? We don’t want to put you out of you own bed.”

Mary said, “Yes quite sure, because I am going to come and visit you in Quilpie and you will have to put up with me and Sam, so just relax, you'll have enough to worry about in the next couple of days as it is.”

“Ok then,” replied Mummy. Daddy just stood there with a smile on his face probably thinking he was glad he didn't have to sort that out.

Then he said “Alright ladies, I'm going to take you all out for a slap up dinner how does that sound?”

Sam said, “What all of us?”

Daddy replied, “Unless you want to order in pizza.”

Sam and I both said at the same time “Noo!! Not pizza.”

Anyway Daddy ordered a taxi and we went a fancy restaurant in city near the Story Bridge with a funny Italian name that Uncle Tony told him about. The food was similar to what Aunty Bella cooks, so I think that Donna's carvery will have some Italian menus as well. Aunty Bella is going to work with Mummy running her restaurant.

We got back fairly late so we sorted out the beds. Sam and I talked till midnight mostly about what we were going to go through when we have our final surgery to make us whole girls like we were supposed to be when we were born.

Wednesday,
~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary was gone by the time anyone else woke up. It was seven o'clock and the noise of the trams going past the apartment woke me up but it doesn’t worry Sam. She says that it lulls her to sleep at night because the trams run till eleven o'clock at night, and there seems to be one goes past every five minutes.

Sam and I got up and went to have a shower together and when we were both naked we just stood there and looked at each others genitals.

Sam spoke first and said, “Carla you look like you are almost a girl down there. You only have a tiny little penis, and it really looks like a large clitoris.”

I replied and said, “Sam that is what Rose called it and she said that I have never had any testicles in the first place, so it wont take a lot of surgery to make it look right.”

Then it was my turn and I asked Sam if I could touch her small breasts because I wanted to feel how soft they were.

She said, “Sure, but be gentle. They are quite tender and the hormones that Rose is giving me is making them grow really quickly.”

Rose was giving Sam hormones to stop her from having a male puberty and it was making her body develop like a girl her age.

She said, “I don't get an erection any more but it still feels good to rub it and my nipples get hard.”

I asked, “What do nipples feel like when they get hard?”

She replied, “When I touch them they go all tingly.”

I said, “I can't wait till Rose gives me hormones. I want to grow breasts as big as Rita has.”

Our exploration of our bodies stopped abruptly when Mummy knocked on the door and we both jumped and squealed in guilty fright.

Mummy said, “Hurry up you two! There are other people that need to use the bathroom as well you know!”

Sam and I quickly got out of the shower giggling, and wrapping fluffy bath towels around us and ran into Sam's bedroom.

I decided to be all girley that day and wore my pink denim skirt with the lace around the hem, white bobby socks, and dark red shiny Mary Janes. I chose the white blouse with the flower prints on the front, and a white windcheater. My hair was really long now so I just combed it really well and put barrette in it - pink of course. Sam wore her school uniform. She still had to go to school even though she took theprevious day off. She didn't want to fall behind as she wanted to be a nurse like her Mum. Daddy got all his business sorted the previous day, so we were going to do a bit of sightseeing that day before the serious thing of the next day would take place.

Mummy said she had never been up to Mt Coot-tha to see Brisbane from there.

Daddy said, “Ok do you want to go up there by bus? That could take some time cause I haven’t a clue how the buses run in Brisbane and the trams don’t go up there as far as I know.”

Mummy replied, “Darling, we are not exactly broke are we? I think we can afford to get a taxi up there don't you?”

Daddy said, “Ooh I don’t know” with a silly look on his face.

Mummy then said, “Bill how much did you get for the sale of the caravan park?”

Daddy coughed a bit and said, “I'll order a taxi shall I ?”

Mummy replied, “Yes dear I think you'd better do that or miss out tonight.”

Daddy replied, “Darling that's a bit below the belt isn't it?”

“William, not in front of the girls please!”

Daddy said, “There’s that guy William again.” with that silly grin on his face once more.

Anyway once the two of them were finished their silly banter Daddy finally got on the phone and ordered a taxi to take us up the mountain. Sam gave us all a hug and went off to school which was only a couple of city blocks away.

The taxi arrived and we climbed in and were taken to Mt Coot-tha. On the way we passed the biggest cemetery I have ever seen, it seemed to go for miles and it made me shudder to think of all the souls that are buried there. That instance I could hear Jean say in my mind “All just bones, Sis.” Anyway, we reached the top of the mountain look-out and it was a clear day. I got a funny feeling in my tummy when I walked to the edge of the lookout barrier. It felt like I was in an aeroplane looking down over the whole city, and I could also see the ocean and Morton Island in the distance, it was that high.

We had lunch at the restaurant that was beside the lookout and then asked the waitress about the city bus service to see if we could take a bus ride down the mountain. There was a city bus that came and went every hour, so we waited till the next bus arrived and boarded that. On the way down the mountain, the bus passed the very large television transmitter towers that reached up even further into the sky. By the time we were back down in the city and got off at the bus stop just a short walk from the apartment, we were getting tired and decided to go upstairs to the apartment to relax and watch some television.

We had the code to put in a number in the electronic lock to open up the main door to get in, and made our way up the stairs to the apartment. None of us liked, or trusted lifts so the stairs it was.

We were just starting to watch something on TV when Sam walked in and said, “Hi all. Have a nice day up the mountain?”

I said, “How did you know we were up the mountain Sam?”

“Your Mum rang My Mum and told her where you were while you having lunch up there.”

Mummy said, “Yes dear. I rang Mary to find out when she would be home because I will be cooking dinner tonight.”

Sam said, “Oooh yummy!! I get to eat some more of Donna's Carvery food.”

Mummy sent Daddy down to the supermarket to by the necessary ingredients to make tonight’s meal, which was a lamb roast and and baked potatoes with pumpkin and onions in the same tray as the roast.

Sam and I helped Mummy with the preparation because that is what girls do. Daddy went into Samantha's bedroom and watched some English comedy show.

Mary came home at five thirty and as she walked through the door she said, “Oh my God, that smells so good Donna, my mouth is watering already. Are you sure Bill won't adopt me and Sam as well?”

Sam then said, “Mum doesn’t really cook do you Mum?”

“Haven't got time Samantha you know that.”

“Yeah sure Mum,” replied Sam rolling her eyes.

“Now now girls, no fighting. Life is too short,”

“Yes Ma'am,” they both said.

Thursday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After breakfast and saying 'bye to Sam, we walked the short distance to the Mater hospital and into the main foyer to where the lifts were.

Daddy looked at me and said, “Do we have to?”

I replied, “You'll get used to it in no time Daddy.”

“Yeah, whatever” he said.

Mummy said, “Just get in there you two bushies and stop wasting time will you?”

Daddy did a salute, and I giggled. We got in and there was a nurse already in the lift and she said, “Which floor do you people need to go?”

I replied, “Dr Rose um—um.”

“San-Lee,” said the nurse.

“Um yeah, that's her” I said.

The nurse laughed and replied, “Don't worry honey, you're not the only one to forget that name. We all just call her Doc Rose.”

She pressed the button to take us to level three. The doors closed and up we went, the lift stopped and the voice said 'level three'.

We walked out of the lift and Doc Rose’s surgery was just across from the lift.

I said “Mummy, did you forget where the surgery was?”

She replied, “How the bloody hell can I forget what happened when you had a panic attack when you were here before?”

I said, “That wont happen this time Mummy, I’ll just get Daddy to hold my hand.” Daddy winked at me and grabbed my hand.

Mummy just rolled her eyes and said, “Bill Dear you do realise that this little monkey has you wrapped around her little finger don't you?”

Daddy replied, “Yeah it's her magic brown eyes.” and gave me a hug.

Mummy just shook her head and said, “Shit men are so easy to control.” She winked at me and said “Carla we might get that television set yet.”

We walked into the reception area of Doc Rose's surgery and told Cindy to let Doc Rose know that we had arrived. We were half an hour early,and the appointment was for nine am. What we didn't realise was how close Mary's apartment was to the hospital.

Cindy said “Rose just went down the hall to collect some records and will be back in about five minutes so just take a seat and wait for her to come back.”

Cindy looked at me and said “Wow Carla, your hair must have grown at least six inches since I last saw you."

I said, “Yeah do you like it?”

“Well I have to dye min,e but yours is a beautiful honey blond, and with those big brown eyes you are going to break some hearts Carla.”

Mummy said, “Not yet she wont, I'll have to keep a close eye on the little monkey.”

Daddy said, “I'll keep a close eye on all three of my girls” and rolled his eyes.

Doc Rose walked in with an arm full of files and said, “Hello everyone, just give me a couple of minutes and we can get under way.”

Cindy said "You may as well go in to the surgery and make yourselves comfortable."

While Rose was sorting out her desk we all sat in the chairs provided.

“Right” said Rose, “got the reports all sorted so here we go.”

Daddy said, “Rose before you start, we would like to get back home by tomorrow night is that alright with you?”

“Sure Bill, we have two more tests to do and then we can get Carla sorted out with a hormone regime that will start her on the way to full girlhood.

I said, “Are you going to cut me open?”

“Not for a couple of years Carla. You have to do a lot more growing first sweetheart”

I replied, “Will I have a vagina just like Mummy and Rita?”

“Yes darling you certainly will, but that is a way off yet ok?”

Mummy said “So what happens now Rose?”

"Ok, you and Bill can either be present when we do the next couple of tests or if you prefer you can come back in a couple of hours."

Mummy said, “Carla would you like us to stay or go?”

“Oh Mummy and Daddy, I want you both to be with me please.” and I was starting to get all teary so I closed my eyes and said “Jean where are you?”

She was there in my head and said, “Sis it's ok, we will both go through this together. I'm here, stop worrying,”

I said out loud, “Ok Jean but don’t go away.”

Daddy had never seen me communicate with Jean like that and just sat there with his mouth open.

Mummy said "Close your mouth Bill, the flies will get in!"

Doc Rose laughed and said, “Bill, get used to her doing that, she is stuck with her twin I’m afraid.”

Daddy said, “Wow! I didn't realise she can see her as well as talk as though she is just sitting in the room with us.”

I replied, “Daddy she can hear every thing you say so watch it, or she will zap you.”

Daddy laughed and said, “I love you too Jean.”

“Right” said Rose, “lets get on with shall we, so you people can get back home.” Then before we left the room to go to have another type of scan, Rose said, “Before you leave today I will give you all the paperwork to be able to change all the birth certificate information and also a letter explaining to any government authorities about Carla's condition so she can attend a normal school. I was on cloud nine and ran to Rose and hugged her and started to cry.

Rose looked at Daddy who had a worried look on his face and said, “Bill they are happy tears.”

Daddy replied, “Bloody women.” and shook his head.

The tests were done and Rose said it confirmed what they had thought all along. I am eighty percent girl already and with medication and surgery in a few years time I will be complete. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day, and when Sam came home from school I had to tell her all my good news. Mummy and Daddy went out to a movie and left us girls to talk and giggle till they came home with a Chinese take away. By the time the table was set Mary was home from work as well.

Friday.
~~~~~~~~~

We said our goodbyes to Mary and Samantha and headed to Archerfield airport. The plane was all ready so we wasted no time getting on board for the flight home.

To be continued.

Next time, School, wedding, preparations and being christened.

Previously

The test were done and Rose said it confirmed what they had thought all along. I am eighty percent girl already and with medication and surgery in a few years time I will be complete. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day and when Sam came home from school I had to tell her all my good news. Mummy and Daddy went out to a movie and left us girls to talk and giggle till they came home with a Chinese take away. By the time the table was set Mary was home from work as well.

Friday
~~~~~~~
We said our goodbyes and headed to Archerfield airport. The plane was all ready for the flight home, so we wasted no time in getting on board for the flight.

The pilot whose name was Rodney said he enjoyed flying out to these outback places because there is literary no air traffic and he didn’t have to watch out for any other planes in the vicinity. Anyway we landed at the Quilpie air strip at eleven thirty and as Uncle Tony heard the plane circle over the town he got in his Land Rover and came out to pick us up. The plane had to be refueled so we told Rodney to come and have some lunch at Mummy’s restaurant, before he headed back to Brisbane. He accepted gladly and came with us to have lunch, Daddy would drive him back to his plane when he was finished.

Rodney told Daddy that he wouldn't mind being stationed here at Quilpie air strip for charter flights and Daddy said he would look into what sort of response the shire council would have to let something like that happen. Anyway we got to the restaurant and Rita had a table set all ready for us and a meal was only five minutes away. Seeing it was the middle of winter, Rita served up pea and ham soup with thick slices of toast which went down really well.

When we finished lunch Daddy drove Rodney back to his plane out at the strip and helped to do the refueling. Uncle Tony drove us home. Mummy and I were really tired from the last couple of days' activities so we decide to have an afternoon nap. Once I said “G'day” to my animal friends and fed them, I went to my room and lay on the bed and thought what Doc Rose had told me in Brisbane. Fluffy jumped up on the bed and curled up beside my head and we both dropped off to sleep.

Saturday 12/6/1959.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rita shook me gently and said, “Wake up Sleeping Beauty. It's eight o'clock and we have things to do today.”

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and said, “Oh boy, it is not very often I sleep in this late is it?”

Rita replied, “No Sis, but you have had a busy couple of days so you're forgiven, but get out of bed and into the shower so you can have breakfast. We have a lot to do in the next few weeks.”

I said, yawning “What are we doing today that is so important anyway?”

Rita replied, “Have you forgotten what is happening in a few weeks time?”

“Oh the wedding.”

“Yes Carla. If you want to wear a nice dress on the day then we had better go and see what Mum has planned for us.”

I got up and had a shower and got dressed in jeans and a warm top, socks and a pair of woollen slippers, as it was cold at that time of the morning. It might not snow out there but the ground got covered in a white frost and killed off all the lawns in winter.

I went to the warm kitchen and Mummy said, “Morning sweetheart, sleep well did we?”

I replied, “Yes thanks Mummy. What's for breakfast?”

“Sit down at the table madam and I will serve Your Ladyship.”

I giggled and Rita rolled her eyes and said, “Hoy, what's this? No-one serves me.”

Mummy replied, “Ok you two, shut up and get your gums around this.” It was a full English breakfast with the works. Just as Mummy was putting the plates on the table Daddy walked in and gave Mummy a big hug and kissed her passionately on the lips.

Rita and I both said, “Pu-lease not this early in the morning.”

Daddy said, “Eat your breakfast girls, I'm allowed to do this. It makes my day seem to go quicker.” and he winked at Mummy. Breakfast over, Daddy went to see the man about the tower for our television.

Mummy said, “Right girls, I'm not going to work today and neither are you Rita. The others can run things at the restaurant today.”

Mummy then made a phone call to Mary Winton at the dress shop to see what she had in stock for us all to try on. Mary owned the shop that local women went to, to buy or hire wedding gowns.

Mummy said, “Ok girls. I want you to wear skirts to make it easier to change in and out of the garments you're going to try on.” Rita and I did as we were told and were ready to go within ten minutes in the car down to the dress shop.

Mary was waiting for us when we arrived, and said “Good morning ladies. Are we ready to try on all the wedding and bridesmaid dresses?”

We all three nodded and walked into the shop. Mary said, “I will close the shop for a couple of hours so we don't get disturbed and do things without rushing your decisions.”

Mummy was first, and Mary said, “Donna, what are you thinking of wearing?”

Mummy said, “I wore a really beautiful gown the first time round and it was a waste of time wasn't it? I am just going to choose a nice dress and leave it at that.”

An hour later we all agreed on what Mummy had chosen. It was a white past the knee silk dress with delicate blue embroidery depicting flowers and little ballerinas around the hemline, and with a large bow at the waist. Rita and I took another hour to try on several dresses and ended up choosing two identical full-length evening gowns in pink with white lace-work around the bodice and hem.

Then next came the shoes. Mummy chose a pair of white three inch pumps and said, “You girls will get to tired in heels, so I want you both to look for a nice pair of flats.” It didn't take very long and the shoes looked much the same as Mummy's only with hardly any heel.

Accessories would be bought another day.

Mummy said, “I have a lot of your Nan’s jewellery to sort through first before we go out and spend any more money.”

Mary tallied up the bill and Mummy said, “That wasn't too bad, so Daddy will be able to afford to buy an new suit as well.”

Rita said, “Mum I hoped he wasn’t going to wear that old moth-eaten thing he wears to church?”

“He is pretty attached to it,” said Mum.

We arrived home just as Daddy was parking his car in the shed and he stayed in the car.

Mummy said, “I wonder what that man is up to. He is hiding something I am sure of that.”

Rita said, “ Lets just go and see why he is not getting out of the car.”

Mummy said, “Ok you two go on one side and I’ll go on the other so he can't escape.” He was trapped and had no choice but to get out of the car.

When he got out he was dressed in a suit and he looked really good.

Mummy said, “Darling, you went out and bought a new suit all by yourself.”

“Um, err, well it is sort of new. Brian had one too many so he sold me one. Do you like it?”

Mummy said, “It is real nice Bill. How much did you pay Brian for it?”

Daddy can't keep a straight face when he tells a lie so he said, “Oh that and a bit more.”

Mummy said, “Bill darling, It's ok. It's a lovely suit, and it can keep your old one company in the closet after the wedding.” She than kissed him and said, “I love you William.”

Daddy replied, “Who's William?”

“Mummy said the beautiful man I am about to get married to.”

It was lunch time and although it was a cold day it was nice in the midday sun.

Daddy said, “We will start the barbecue up and have a nice steak sandwich.”

Mummy and Daddy stayed outside and got the barbecue going. Rita and I made a quick salad and got some steaks out of the fridge. It was just as well the meat was put in the fridge that morning to defrost, or we would not been having a barbecue for lunch.

Daddy rushed up into the house to change out of the suit that cost him a lot of nothing, and changed into some jeans and a shirt. By the time he came back outside the steak was ready to make the steak sandwiches with all the trimmings. We all had coke to drink, which is normal for a family that is not into alcohol. It was nice to just sit in the afternoon winter sun with my family. It was so different from when we were on River Downs, when there was always tension between Mummy and my other dad James, who I guess I will see again one day when I am a teenage girl, not that it would happen if I could help it. As far as my brother John is concerned, I would accept him back if he behaved himself. I didn't think it was his fault that he was brought up to be like his aggressive father. Only time would tell if he saw the light before it was to late.

Sunday 13/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mummy decided to go to the Lutheran church to get to know the pastor because he would be performing the wedding ceremony and also be doing Rita's and my baptism. Originally it was all going to happen in the Catholic church but because Mummy was a divorcee that couldn't happen so we would all be Lutheran.

The baptism would be a private affair with just a few people that knew us and it would be in a weeks time on Saturday morning.

I said, “Mummy, who can I invite to the christening?”

Mummy replied, “Carla, we are trying to keep it low key darling. It is more for the sake of legalities as you well know.”

I had tears in my eyes and said, “Can I at least have Ricky and Jenny there?”

Mummy replied, “Of course darling. Now come here and let me hug you.”

Daddy also gave me a hug and said “Sweetheart, it's like Mummy said - we just want to make sure that we have everything done before the wedding, because by then the papers will all be signed so you can have your name changed on your birth certificate and also be my adopted daughter, as well as Rita.”

Rita said, “I was wondering if I was going to get a mention in all this?” with a grin on her face.

Mummy said, “Ok everyone, we had better get ourselves ready and head off to church.”

We were ready to go in half an hour. The Lutheran church was on the other side of town so Daddy drove us in his car. When we arrived at the church, Pastor Jeff Miller was at the bottom of the steps to greet his congregation. He made us feel really welcome and I liked him straight away.

We went and sat down in the church and most people gave us a smile and a nod. The service was quite a bit different than in the Catholic church, and there was a lot of hymn singing which I could really get into. 'I think I am going to like being a part of this church', There were a lot of kids that were my age as well so I would be able to make some new friends as well.

When the service was over we hung around after most of the other people were gone because Pastor Miller wanted to meet us properly and get to know Rita and myself for next Saturday's baptism ceremony. Jeff already knew Daddy because he and Brian used to go out wild pig shooting together. We all went into Jeff's house which was right next to the church, and we were greeted by his wife, a short plump woman with a real cheery face.

She said, “Welcome people, and come in and have some of the Country Women’s famous pumpkin scones and a cuppa.” Her name was Shelly and she was secretary for the Country Women’s Association, which I thought Mummy was thinking of becoming a member of as well because they did a lot of charity work for country people.

Anyway Rita and I went into a smaller room once all the food was laid out, and Pastor Miller started to explain to Rita and me what we had to do to be baptised the following week. He said. “Ok girls, this wont take too long. I will just explain what will happen, and I will give you both some literature to take home to read through, so you know what is expected of you in the eyes of the church.”

That was basically it, and we went back in where Mummy and Daddy were talking to Shelly.

Mummy said, “Carla, Shelly has signed me up as a member of the CWA, and we will be doing some charity work. That should make you happy.”

“Yeah, I like helping poor people that have got nothing,” I replied.

Most of the poorer people were the indigenous people living out on the reservation. I would have to talk Alice into taking me out there because I got on really well with the aboriginal elders. I learned a lot of their culture when I used to visit old Billy's camp at River Downs. He was the one that taught me all about bush tucker and how to find water out in the desert.

They are very clever people and know all about the Dreamtime and the spirits that live in the land and animals. Anyway we got home from church and Mummy and Rita decided to go and sort out the restaurant for that night. Daddy and myself went down to Uncle Tony's and Aunty Bella's to help sort out the hooking up of the television to the outside antenna. Daddy had to climb up the sixty foot high tower to hook up the wires to the top of the tower.

Once that was done the television set was working. It wasn't as clear as in Brisbane but it was ok to watch.

Uncle Tony said, “I'll call Jim from the electrical shop to come down tomorrow to fine tune the set.”

Daddy said, “If mine will be as good as this one is I’ll be a happy chappy, Tony.”

The ABC was showing the previous day's football in Brisbane, and Uncle Tony and Daddy sat and watched that for the rest of the afternoon.

I'm not into football so I helped Aunty Bella sort out the new curtains for the bedrooms. She was starting to show me how to use her new Singer sewing machine.

She said, “Carla, you will be able to sew your own dresses in no time and show Rita how good you are at making you own clothes. I have a lot of dress material that I have never used, so you can have a look at that, and if you like any of it you can have it. I will be only too pleased to teach you how to sew, Sweetheart.”

Aunty Bella then said, “Carla dear, you can help me get supper ready for tonight, but first go tell your Daddy he is to stay here for dinner as well, because Donna and Rita will be at the restaurant till late. We will make a niece oxtail stew. It wont take long to make on this old combustion stove - it's the same as the one at your house. Good old English quality these stoves, and they keep the whole kitchen warm in winter too.”

Daddy and Tony went out to the shed out in the back yard after dinner and set up some tools and thingys, so that left the television free for me and Aunty Bella to use so we watched 'Operation Petticoat' with Cary Grant and Tony Curtis in it.

It was nine o'clock by the time the movie was finished, so when we got home Mummy said, “Right! Carla, you had better hit the sack so you can do some serious school work tomorrow because as soon as your paper work is through you can go to a normal school., I have already spoken with Rick's dad, Barry and it's all systems go once you are legally a girl.”

I replied, “Mummy, I didn't think I was going to go till after the wedding.”

“Darling, the sooner the better don't think?”

“Well it's all a bit scary, but Jenny, Brenda, and June will all be there to help me fit in.”

Mummy replied, “Oh what about Ricky?”

I said, “Yeah, but he wont want to hang around with a girl at school will he?”

Rita said, “If he is a true friend he will be there for you when you need him.” I went to bed and had all sorts of funny dreams with Jean going to school with me.

Monday.
~~~~~~~

Everything was back to normal with people going off to work and leaving me to myself. I couldn’t even visit Aunty Bella because she was starting to work at Donna's Carvery so I just did a lot of school work. If I was going to go to the state school, I wanted to be able to have a smooth transition from home schooling to the normal system. The rest of the week was much the same. I did my school-work and took the dogs for a walk in the afternoons. Goldie was staying with us for a while till Uncle Tony got a kennel built for her, but I thought she would always be spending more time with me than her new home. I met the girls and Ricky at the park in the afternoons and they were all excited that I was going to be at their school soon.

Saturday.
~~~~~~~

I had told the people that I wanted to be at the christening to be there at ten o’clock and Mummy said that after we were finished at the church she would invite them all to our place for a barbecue lunch. When we arrived at the church there were at least twenty people there waiting to greet me and Rita which is not how many people I expected to turn up. Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony were to be our God-parents so they had to be there.

My three girlfriends were all dressed in pretty dresses and of course so were Rita and myself. I know it was winter but I wanted to wear my favourite summer dress because it was pink and any photos I wanted taken had to have me wearing a pink dress. So what I did was to wear a coat till it was photo time, and Rita did the same as me. Mummy gave up trying to tell us to wear jeans and nice warm tops. This was our day so we got to choose what we wear, ''Right?”

Even Father Brian was there to support us in a different church. Whatever would his boss the bishop say? Brian is a real nice man and a close friend of the family. Once all the papers were signed by Pastor Miller, he handed them to Brian because he was also a lawyer and was handling all the legal stuff and had to sign off on everything to make me a girl legally. He was also a Justice of the Peace, so it made everything go through the system without any problems. While I was talking with Jenny, Ricky came up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss right in front of Helen, his Mum.

She said, “Ricky, I know you two are close friends but keep the kissing bit till you are a bit older ok?”

“Yes Mum,” he replied, but got another kiss in before he put me back down.

I whispered “I love you Ricky Smith.” He replied with a wink. Rita and Peter were standing beside us and Peter said to Ricky “I saw that Rick. Be careful or Dad will ground you, and then you won't be able to see Carla, let alone go kissing her.”

Rita said, “Peter, leave them alone. How would you feel if someone told you not to kiss me?”

Peter said, “That’s different, we are older.”

Daddy and Uncle Tony walked past us and Tony said, “Lets get going. I'm getting hungry.”

Everyone including Pastor Miller and his wife Shelly came to the barbecue in our back yard. Brian, Daddy, and Uncle Tony were the chief cooks and all the salads were done at Mummy's restaurant yesterday, so only had to be brought out from the fridge, There was beer for anyone that wanted it and plenty of soft drink for those that didn't.

While no-one was looking, I snuck another kiss with Ricky and said, “I will see you at the park next week.”

He replied, “I'll be there, no worries Carla.”

When most of the people had left, Jenny's parents were having a cup of tea, so I showed Jenny all the papers that were signed that day, and my name on the birth and the christening certificates said I was Carla Jean Croft. That meant Daddy had officially adopted me. Apparently James, my natural father signed the papers to let that go through.

Jenny said, “When will you be coming to our school Carla? I cant wait to have my special friend in the same class with me.”

I replied, “Mummy is sorting that out in the next couple of days.”

The following day we would be going to the Lutheran church, and so would Daddy with Farther Brian’s blessing.

To be continued.

Next time: Starting at a normal school and getting used to a classroom full of kids

*****Please leave some comments****

Previously

Jenny said “When will you be coming to our school Carla? Can't wait to have my special friend in the same class with me.”

I replied “Mummy is sorting that out in the next couple of days.”

Tomorrow we would be going to the Lutheran church and so would Daddy with Father Brian’s blessing.

Sunday 21/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~

Daddy, Mummy, Rita and I all went to the Lutheran church service that morning so we would be used to the way things were done before Mummy and Daddy's wedding on September the fifth. It was surprising how much the people of that church made us feel so welcome. I was asked to join the church choir which is what I did because I can actually sing. Just ask Ginger and Goldie, they sing along with me!

There were six girls and three boys in the choir and they all went to the state school that I would be going to. So I had already made some friends at church before I even went to school. I didn't expect too many problems with going to the girls' toilets because girls sit to pee and the toilets all have doors on the cubicles, but to make sure till I settled in, I would ask Jenny to be with me when I had to go to the loo. Jenny knew all about my little medical problem and she had seen what I looked like down there.

Last time she stayed overnight for a sleep-over, she asked if she could see what all the fuss was about and we both got in the shower together. She said that I didn't look a lot different to her apart from having a larger clitoris than she had and we both stood in front of a full length mirror to see if I could get away with being in a girls dressing room. She said as long as I didn't go prancing around no-one will take any notice because I didn’t have any testicles so there was nothing hanging down between my legs. Doc Rose said I was inter-sexed and would be able to have surgery to make everything look right when I stopped growing.

Jenny wasn't at church that day but she is Lutheran and would be going the next Sunday, so I would have my best friend there as well. It was a pity that Ricky went to the Catholic church but at least he was going to the state school. I didn't know what I would do if I was in the same class as him because I didn't think I'd be able to concentrate on any school work with him being so close.

I was asked to stay back after the service to see if I could sing well enough to be in the choir and Shelly, the minister's wife would drive me home after we were done.

I was definitely going to be in the choir so I thought I must ring Samantha that night and do a bit of bragging because she was also in her school choir. Anyway Shelly drove me home just in time for lunch and Mummy invited her to have lunch with us. She said she might as well because Jeff was out at some meeting or other and wouldn't be home anyway. I liked Shelly, she always seemed to be laughing.

The man had built the tower for the antenna and Daddy somehow got the television to be delivered on a Sunday. It worked out that the guy had his car in for repairs at Daddy's garage so Daddy talked him into setting everything up as well. Daddy gave Uncle Tony a call and he was there in a few minutes. He must have run all the way but than it was only a few houses away from us. The television was working within an hour and they sat there the rest of the day watching silly replays of football.

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when Barry Smith, Ricky's Dad turned up and wanted to talk to me. I thought I was in trouble for kissing Ricky and said, “I'm sorry I wont do it any more Mr Smith. I didn't mean to get Ricky into trouble by kissing him.”

“Oh Carla, you and Ricky aren’t in any trouble, but you shouldn't be kissing at your age. No, I am here to have a bit of a chat with you about going to school on Tuesday. Because it is a student-free day I thought I would get you and your Mum to come in and meet with your teacher before you start. What do you say to that?”

I replied, “Wow I like that! I have been doing extra school work so I was not behind in anything, but I am no good at maths.”

He replied, “What's new? Ricky needs help with that as well.” I sang out to Mummy and said we had a visitor. She was still in the kitchen talking with Shelly, and she came out and said, “Is Carla in trouble? What have her and Ricky been up to?”

Barry laughed and said “Donna, they are not in any trouble. They are both good kids.”

Barry then explain what was going on and asked Mummy to come down to the school with me the next day and see if my level was what the School of the Air said was correct. So I would have to do a bit of a test to see how I went and if I could be put in grade five.

Mummy said, “I can guarantee that she is well and truly good enough to be in grade five. I have made sure she has kept well in front with all her school work Barry. What time do you want us there in the morning?”

Barry said, “Nine o”clock will be fine. Her teacher is a man by the name of Peter Taylor and yes he has been informed about Carla's medical problem and is fine with that. He has a gay son so he will not tolerate any nonsense from his pupils.”

After he finished talking to me and Mummy he went into the lounge and watched the football with the rest of the men. Aunty Bella, Mummy and Rita started to sort out the Sunday night dinner, and seeing Barry was already here he was asked to give Helen a call and tell them to come over as well.

Helen Ricky and Peter all turned up fifteen minutes later and all walked into the lounge to have a look at the new television set working. Ricky gave me a quick hug and and then sat down with his eyes glued to the football game that was on the television. So much for coming to see me, his girlfriend ''sigh.''

Rita had the same happen to her with Peter and looked at me and said “Men! All they think about is their tummy and football.” and we both went into the kitchen to help with getting the dinner prepared.

Mummy and Rita were spending more time at home those days because Alice, her Mum Jenny, and Linda were coping pretty well on their own most days, so Mummy and Rita could have more of a home life.

The dinner was a roast lamb with baked potatoes and vegetables and a special gravy that Aunty Bella made, but was keeping the recipe a secret or so she said. Of course Mummy was watching her pretty closely while she was making it and said to Aunty Bella, “I'm not watching! Honest!” with a grin on her face. I called out to Ricky to help me set the table but got no response and had to stand in front of the television set to get his attention and when I did that there was a lot of “Hoy!! Get out of the way Carla. We can't see the ball play in the scrum.”

I didn't move till Ricky said, “Ok ok, I'm coming.”

I replied, “I should think so. What is more important, helping me or that silly football game?“

Ricky replied, “Um Carla, can I answer that later?” He got a slap on the arm for that and told to get to work or he wouldn't be able to go back in to the lounge to finish watching the game.

Aunty Belle said, “At least the men don't get under our feet when there is a game to watch on the telly,” with a grin on her face. The table was set and Mummy went in and without warning turned the television off and said “Alright, dinner is ready. This is your captain speaking! To the table now!”

All the men said “Yes ma’am, sir.'' and came to the table to have dinner. Before I went to bed I rang Samantha and talked to her till Mummy said, “Ok Carla, say 'bye to Sam, it's bed time”

I ended the call and told Sam I would call her in a couple of days to let her know how I was getting on at school.

Monday.
~~~~

Rita and Daddy went off to work and left me and Mummy go to the school to get me sorted out with the the man that was going to teach me. I was to join the fifth grade so I would have to do a written test to see if I could cope with the work . We arrived at the school and because it was a student free day all was quiet.

I said, “Mummy, I feel a bit nervous about this and I just hope Jean is going to help me out with the test.

Jean was in my mind and said, “Carla I am here! Stop worrying we will be fine.”

I said out loud, ''We!!” I could hear her have a giggle and then she was quiet. “Grrrrr.”

We walked to the main administration office and Barry was talking to a middle aged man with a pleasant face and said, “Come in Donna and Carla. This is Peter Taylor. He will be your teacher Carla, as long as you pass the test we are giving you this morning, and I am sure that you will do well because I know that you have helped Ricky out with his social studies project a couple of times.”

I kept quiet and Mummy said, “Carla's maths need to improve but she is well ahead in everything else.”

Barry then said, “Carla, the students address the men teachers as 'sir' and the lady teachers as 'Miss' or 'Mrs' if they are married, and I know you are a very respectful nine year old, so you shouldn't have any problems fitting in to a normal school environment.”

Mr Taylor said “Donna, it's nice to see such a well behaved little girl as part of our school, and by the way I have been informed about Carla's medical problem. You can rest assured that there will be no problem while I am at this school. All the kids know that if there is any kind of bulling or bad behaviour they will be in big trouble.”

“So,” Mr Taylor continued, “Donna, if you want to leave Carla with me you can come back in a couple of hours to take her home.”

Barry then said, “Hang on Donna. Before you take off, there are some papers to be signed and then you can be on your way.”

I gave Mummy a hug and a kiss and went to a classroom to sit for the test.

I said, “Sir, will I be able to sit next to my friend Jenny tomorrow because I am really nervous about being at school with so many other kids?”

He replied, “Carla that has already been arranged, and Brenda and June will be allowed to be next to you as well. I know it will be strange for you after all these years of home and School of the Air teaching, but you will be fine ok?”

I said, “Yes sir.” and then he gave me some papers and a pencil and rubber and said, “Carla take your time. This is not a time trial. I am just trying to gauge how far advanced you are in this school year. If you have any questions I’m right here at my desk as though I have a full class.”

I got down to do the test. Most of it was pretty easy but I was sure there was some spelling mistakes in there somewhere. The maths wasn’t too bad either, I think Mummy must have been giving me harder sums on purpose the last couple of months, because the ones in my test were easy to do.

I finished in one and a half hours and did not have to ask for any help with anything in the test so I said at the end, “Sir, I have finished now. What do I do?”

He looked up from the papers he was correcting and said “Well Carla you did that in good time so lets see what you have done shall we?” He said if I wanted I could go to the toilet and have a look around the rest of the school and also say Gday to some of the other teachers, and to give him half an hour to look at what I have done and come down to Mr Smith's office and we would discuss my test there. I had a walk around the rest of the school and said “Hello” to a couple of teachers and went back to the main office and Mummy was there as well,

I knocked on the door and waited to be asked to come in.

Barry said, “Carla, it looks like you will be able to start tomorrow. You have passed the test with flying colours.”

I was speechless, and Mummy said, “Congratulations, sweetheart it looks like I did a good job with home schooling you.”

I replied, “Thank you sir and sir.”

They both laughed when they heard me say the double sir, and Mr Taylor said, “That's a new one. You are welcome Carla. I think I’m going to enjoy having you in my class.” He then said, “Donna you have a very well behaved little girl and she has been through a lot. We will make sure she fits in. She already has some good friends who I’m sure will look after her so, Carla I will see you in class tomorrow morning.”

I said, “Thank you sir.” and shook his hand. He smiled at me and gave me a wink.

I then had to have a school uniform and school text books which were a little bit different from the home books that I was used to.

So Barry said to Mummy, “Donna, you and Carla can come with me down to the store room and we can sort the book situation out with second hand books because it is getting close to the end of the school year and it would be a waste of money buying a full set of new books.”

I said, “What about the uniform?”

Barry replied “Carla, one of the lady teachers has a selection of hand me downs but I think I know you well enough that you wont be happy wearing someone else’s clothes, or am I wrong?”

Mummy answered before I could and she said, “Barry, I think we can splash out for our little Carla this time don't you?”

He replied, “Of course! Sorry young lady.” and gave me a smile and a wink. I just blushed red and was tongue tied for once in my life.

We went with Barry to the school stores room and got my necessary books and left to get my uniform at Mary's dress shop. Mummy must have rung her or been there while I was doing the test because there were uniforms all laid out on a table next to the change room.

Mummy said, “Right young lady, down to your undies and lets get this over with so I can get back to work.” I did as I was told and was given the uniform to try on and to my surprise it fit me perfectly.

Mary said, “Darling, I keep all the measurements from my customers in a book so I knew what to layout before you came in.”

Mummy said “Don’t you look smart Carla?” and I went to a full length mirror and did a twirl and. I said, “I look just like Jenny in her uniform.” and as I said that Jean was in my head saying, “We look cute don't we?” I don’t know what Mary thought but I started talking to Jean out loud as if she was there with me in the shop.

Mary looked at Mummy and said, “It's alright Donna, I know all about our twin soul girl, I think most of the town is fascinated by your little Carla.” Mummy bought me two uniforms complete with shoes, school jumpers, and the school colour ribbons to use for my hair.

When we got home, Jenny and her Mum Jan was there waiting for us and because it was close to lunch time Mummy said, “Come on Jan, while these two have their mutual admiration society we can get in the kitchen and get us some lunch.” Jenny was jumping up and down and could hardly contain herself as she gave me a hand to carry all my school stuff into my bedroom, the only thing that I did not have was a school bag but Jenny ran back out to the car and came back with one of her old ones and said, “That is why I talked Mummy into coming around to see what you looked liked in the school uniform.” so I striped of and put the uniform on and did all the twirls and curtseys to show Jenny how I looked.

She said that most of the girls including herself wore their hair in a high ponytail so I put my long blond hair up and put the blue and white ribbons in to hold it and had a look in the mirror with Mummy and Jan standing at the bedroom door looking amazed at how much older I looked in the school attire. We had lunch and Mummy went off to work, Jenny stayed and her Mum said she would pick her up later when she was sick of trying on clothes all afternoon .She gave us both a hug and said “Have fun girls” and left.

Tuesday, 23/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My first day at a normal school, I rode my bike like most of the kids did in Quilpie and was greeted by Jenny, Brenda, June, and also Ricky which made me feel at ease because there were at least two hundred and fifty students going to this school and quite a lot of them came in by bus from the surrounding district.

It all felt a bit strange and I was quite nervous as the parade ground assembly was held every morning and was addressed by Barry who was the Principal of the school. Once he had the business of the day discussed he said, “We have a new girl starting in grade five today please make her feel welcome.” Then we all marched to our classrooms with music over a loud speaker.

There are thirty kids in my class and most of them gave me a smile but there were some boys who gave me a funny look but I just ignored them and went on to sit next to my friends in the class.

To be continued.

Next time: First day nerves; some bullying from a boy, and tears.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

It all felt a bit strange and I was quite nervous as the parade ground assembly was held that morning and was addressed by Barry who was the principal of the school. Once he had the business of the day discussed he said “We have a new girl starting in grade five today. Please make her feel welcome. Then we all marched to our class rooms with music over a loud speaker.

There were thirty kids in my class and most of them gave me a smile but there were some boys who gave me a funny look but I just ignored them and went on to sit next to my friend in the class.

Tuesday 23 /6/59.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing that Mr Taylor did was to get me to stand up and introduced me to the class and he said, “All right class quiet! We have a new student joining our class this morning. The girl standing up is Carla Croft and she has been taught by her Mum and the School of the Air up until now, so it will all be a bit strange for her, this first week. I expect you all to make her welcome and get to know her in today’s lunch break, She already has some friends in this class but I want all the class to get to know her because she has some special knowledge of the bush. Carla you may sit down and we will start with the first lesson of the day after roll call.”

After roll call we were asked to get our social studies books out and turn to page eighteen. The subject was on the early mail system in Australia, and we were asked to read the two pages on that subject and then Mr Taylor would ask us some questions on how we thought we had progressed over the last fifty years. I was really good at this subject so I enjoyed reading the two pages which were a bit different to the home school book but said the same thing only in a different way. Question time came and I sort of shrunk down in my seat; so I would not have to answer any questions. I was lucky I wasn't asked anything that day so I breathed a sigh of relief when the lunch break bell went.

We all went out and sat under the school where there were benches to sit on to have our cut lunches. Two days a week the tuck shop was run by volunteer Mums and you could buy your lunch on those days.

Jenny sat with me and said, “Well Carla, what do you think of going to a normal school?”

I replied, “There are so many kids. How am I ever going to get to know all their names?”

Just then Ricky came and sat on the other side of me and said, “Are you ok Carla you look a bit worried?'

I replied, “Yeah Ricky I'm alright. It's all a bit strange to be in a room full of kids doing school work.”

Ricky said, “It's a pity I’m not in you class as well, but then that might cause problems with some of the boys that don’t like me because Dad is the principal.”

Anyway the day passed fairly quickly till I was riding home from school on my bike. My friends were all riding bikes as well, but in different directions so I was on my own. As I was passing the park on my way home there was one of the boys in my class. I think he was one of the ones giving me a funny look this morning.

He said “Hey you White! Come here I want to talk to you.”

I didn't know whether to pedal faster or stop. I felt scared but decide to stop to see what he wanted. Anyway he grabbed the handle bars of my bike and shook the bike hard enough for me to lose my balance and fall off onto the ground and twist my ankle in the process. I didn't know the boys name but he kept on calling me 'Carl White' and 'little sissy poofta' and that my Dad owed his dad money for a gambling debt. I was in pain and couldn't stand up as he was holding me down and shaking me and then he tore my school uniform blouse and all the buttons went flying. By this time I was crying in pain and I screamed at him and said, “You broke my ankle. I am not Carl White, I am Carla Croft or didn't you hear the teacher call my name on the roll?”

“Bullshit. You're a fucking boy and lived on River Downs and your arsehole of a Dad is James White and he owes my Dad two thousand pounds for a gambling debt”.

It was getting late and I would be missed because I was supposed to call Mummy when I got home from school.

The boy said, “That poofta Ricky wont protect you, because I’m going to take you with me to a place where they can't find us and then ask that rich mother of yours to pay up or she will never see you again.”

I was in a lot of pain by now and my ankle was starting to swell.

I said through my tears, “I have nothing to do with James any more so let me go or I will get my twin to help me and you wont like what she can do to you.”

He replied, “Shut the fuck up boy or I'll make you into a girl the hard way.”

I replied, “I am a girl so you are too late!”

He got angry at that and hit me in the face and I could feel the blood running out of my nose.

Just as he was about to hit me again I saw a car pull up at the park gate but because of my tears I couldn't see who it was. It was Ricky and his Dad and they jumped the fence and pounced on the boy that was thumping into me. Barry didn't say a word but picked the boy up by his hair and lifted him off me as though he didn't weigh anything at all and he landed a few feet away with a surprised look on his face. Ricky came and helped me sit upright, and started to wipe the blood from my nose with his hanky and tried to hold my blouse together at the front because I was wearing a real girlie pink camisole under the blouse.

Barry was holding the boy who was about two years older than me but was in my class so he must have been kept back for two years.

Barry yelled at him as he held him in a head lock almost choking him and said, “Bradley Blake you are in big trouble! Before I let you out of this head lock I want you to calm down or I will have to put you out of it do you understand?”

“Fuck off” said the boy, and Barry put a little bit more pressure on a point on his neck and Bradley went out cold. I screamed at that and thought he had killed him because of me.

Ricky held me tight and said, “Carla, Dad was a martial arts teacher before he became the principal of the school and he only put Brad to sleep for a bit. He'll be ok.”

I was sobbing uncontrollably now and my ankle was as big as a balloon. My nose was all clogged up with blood but it wasn't broken. I must have looked a mess.

Barry said to Ricky, “Go to the public phone box over the road and ring the Sergeant and tell him what is going on and to get down here now!!”

Ricky said, “Dad, Carla can't stand up on her foot. I think she has a broken ankle.”

“Look Ricky I am not going to leave this little criminal here to do any more damage. Just help Carla sit up on her own and get to that phone.”

“But Dad, you need money to ring out on a public phone.”

“No Ricky, just lift the receiver and press both the 'a' and 'b' buttons and the exchange will answer.”

Ricky said to me, “Carla will you be able to sit up on your own just till I get the Sargent to come down to help dad?”

I replied, “Please hurry Ricky, if the pain gets any worse I think I will faint.”

I didn't sit I just laid down and closed my eyes and said, “Jean why didn't you zap him?”

She was there instantly and said, “Sis, it was me that made Mummy ring Ricky's Dad so they could come to help us! I tried to zap him but he was too strong and angry, and that is when I got into Mummy's head and warned her what was happening and she rang Barry. I'm sorry Sis, but I can only talk to you Rita and Mummy and am not strong enough to zap people that are as angry as that boy.”

Mummy was there in the next couple of minutes and came to have a look at my ankle and said, “Oh Carla, I knew it was too soon to send you to a normal school yet. I am so sorry Darling. Ricky, come and give me a hand and we will carry her to my car and I will take her to the hospital and get a doctor to have a look at her ankle.”

Mummy undid my shoe and pulled it off very gently so it didn't hurt me any more. She gasped when she saw how much it was swollen and said, “Sweetheart see if you can move your toes.”

I tried to do what she asked, but cried out in pain and didn't want to make it hurt any worse so I just said, “Mummy, it's broken” as the tears were falling down onto my now torn white blouse.

Ricky was still trying to be the gentleman and hold it closed, and said, “Carla, I am going to kill that bastard when this is finished!!” and he also now had tears in his eyes and was shaking with anger.

Mummy said, “Ricky calm down. The police will see to him. Just give me a hand to get Carla into my car so I can get her to the hospital.”

Between the two of them they got me into the back seat of Mummy's Land Rover. Ricky was coming with me but he said he wanted to make sure that the police sergeant was there before we left. Ricky's Dad was sitting down beside the now sleeping Brad and he asked Ricky to get some water to throw over Brad's face to wake him up, so he came back to the car and got a cup out of the glove compartment. He raced to the water tank at the park and filled the cup with the cold water and came back to where Brad was laying on the ground and Barry said, “Here, give that to me.” but Ricky said, “No Dad, I want to do this.” and very slowly dribbled the ice cold water on to Brads face.

Barry was holding onto Brad in case he got up all punchy but that didn't happen he looked all groggy as if he didn't know where he was.

Barry let him sit up and said, “Brad don’t make this any worse for yourself and just sit there ok?” Just then the police Sergeant pulled up and walked over to where Brad was sitting on the ground and looked back to the Land Rover and changed his mind and came over to see if I was ok.

He said, to me “Are you ok young lady?”

Before I could reply, Mummy said, “No, does she look like she is ok Jim?”

Jim the police Sergeant replied, “I'm sorry Donna. I can see your angry so I’ll go and sort that kid out.” and he went to where Barry was watching that Brad didn't do a runner.

Mummy said in a loud voice, “I'm taking my daughter to the hospital if that ok with you Sergeant?” in an angry voice. That's when Brad yelled out, “That’s a fucking boy and this is not finished.”

Mummy was about to go and sort Brad out when Barry got up and left Brad to Jim and said, “I will come with you to the hospital. I am on the hospital board and pull some weight there, and I will make sure that Carla gets seen to straight away.”

We left the Sargent to deal with Brad who was still swearing his head off saying something about Barry knocking him out and he will get his Dad to sort him out.

Jim said, “The only sorting out around here is what I am going to do when I get you down the police station and call your Mum.”

As Barry drove Mummy's Land Rover to the hospital all Ricky was worried about was to hold my blouse closed. He is such a gentleman and I love him for it.

We arrived at the hospital and Barry carried me in like I weighed nothing and went straight to Jill at the nurses desk and said, “Go get Doc Barsby.”

I was amazed at how every one in Quilpie knows everyone else. I guess it can be handy when you get carried in to hospital with a broken ankle.

The nurse Jill rushed off to get the hospital doctor and was back in two minutes flat and said, “He'll be here in a minute,” and he was.

He said, “What's all the fuss about Barry? I don’t see anyone dying.”

That got Mummy going again and she said, “Enough with the jokes! If you don’t get you arse into gear and treat my daughter I’ll call Jim Ryan to come down and do it.”

The doctor looked at Mummy and said, “Ok ok! Keep your shirt on will you? I have had a long day”.

Mummy replied, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you but as you can see my daughter has been attacked by a little criminal and has a broken ankle and it looks like her nose is starting to bleed again.”

By this time another nurse came in with what looked like a tray with a needle on it.

I was feeling a lot of pain and said “I don’t like needles but if it will kill the pain in my leg do it please."

The nurse did just that and within five minutes I was in la la land and on my way to the x-ray room.

Mummy asked the nurse for something to clean up my face so she went to a cupboard in the x-ray room and pulled out some soft face washers and went to the sink and wet one and kept one dry and handed them to Mummy who then proceeded to clean up my face. My new white blouse was covered in the blood from my nose and would probably have to go in the bin.

The nurse whose name was Amy came back with a hospital gown and asked Mummy to give me a hand to get undressed and put the gown on because I would be staying in overnight. Barry and Ricky said that seeing we were being looked after they'd go home and come back once I was in the ward.

Ricky said, “I should have been with you on your first day ride home.” and almost burst into tears. He hugged me and Barry said “Come on kid I'll take you home and you can talk to Carla a bit later ok?”

They left and then Mummy said, “Ok girl lets get you changed into this silly back to front gown.”

It was now five thirty and the person that did the x-rays had gone home, and they had to ring him at home to come back to work, so I had to wait sitting in a wheel chair till he got there. Doctor Barsby came into the room with a cup of coffee in his hand and had a look at my ankle and said the swelling had not got any worse so it was probably a bad sprain and not broken but an x-ray would tell the story. He said he would go and have something to eat and be back shortly, and told Amy to make sure that she kept an eye on me because I looked like I could be in shock. Then while we were waiting for the x-ray man to turn up.

I said, “Mummy, how did you know I was in trouble?'

Mummy replied, “Why don't you ask your sister Jean how she does these things Carla, because I was about to ring home to see why you hadn't rang me when Jean almost screamed at me in my head and said, 'The park! Carla's in trouble', and I rang Barry to see if you had gone to be with Ricky, but Ricky said he saw you ride off from the school, and they hung up, and I was at the park in minutes after that.”

Amy was listening to our conversation and asked, “Where is your sister now?”

I replied “It's a a bit hard to explain, but my sister is with me in spirit only, but she can communicate with me and Mummy when things go wrong.”

Amy replied, “Oh! is that all? My brother got killed in a car accident last year and he talks to me all the time.”

Just then Doctor Barsby walked in and said, “Not an other one that talks to the dead.” and he jumped and said, “Shit I just got the shivers.”

Jean said, “Tell him I am not dead.” I started to say something and he said, “It's ok Carla, I believe you can communicate with your sister. Tell her not to tickle me in the back of my neck. Now, where is Andy he should be here by now. Lets get you up on the x-ray table and have you ready when he gets here.”

He just finished saying that when a short plump man came bursting through the door all out of breath and said, “Sorry I took so long to come back to the hospital but my baby girl just sicked up all over me and I had to shower and change.”

Mummy said, “We all know about that sort of thing Andy. You're here now, that is all that matters.”

He got to work on the x-rays and after I was taken to the ward and and told to relax while he developed them. Amy got bags of ice to put on my ankle to make the swelling go down. My pain was coming back so she gave me another shot and within a couple of minutes I was almost falling asleep. Amy got Mummy a cup of tea and a sandwich, I was not hungry so she gave me a cordial drink.

Half an hour passed and Doctor Barsby said, “Andy has all the pictures done and went home but the x-rays showed no bone fractures, so it is all ligament damage. That is why it is so painful.”

Amy brought in a trolley with all sorts of bandages on it. The one they used was a wide stretchy thing and, while Mummy held my leg up, the doc and Amy bandaged my ankle really tight and said, “Carla you wont be able to walk for a few days.”

The ward I was taken to was the women’s ward and there was only one other patient in in there and that was an old lady that had fallen over and broken her hip, but she was asleep. Mummy went to the hospital kitchen and made me a sandwich with the permission of the head nurse. By the time she came back the whole family was at my bedside asking all about what happened, I tried to explain what happened but got all upset and started to cry and kept say “He called me a poofter and a boy.”

It took a while to calm me down and then Barry explained what happened. Daddy said “I know Brad. His Dad is a bad bastard and is a violent man when he is drunk. He must have got in a card game with James back on River Downs and James welched on the bet.”

Mummy said “I don't know why he thinks I'll pay his Dad any money, but he is in big trouble now for doing what he has to Carla. I will want him and his parents charged with assault and attempting to abduct my daughter for ransom to pay a gambling debt, that I had nothing to do with.”

Rita, Peter, Ricky, and his parents all said goodnight and went home, but Mummy, Daddy, Bella and Uncle Tony stayed a bit longer to discuss what was to be done to keep me from having to go through this type of thing again.

Anyway I was falling asleep from the pain killers and Mummy said she would be there in the morning to collect me with a new set of clothes and took my bloodied uniform home to wash but I think the blouse would be binned. As I was just nodding off Jean started to want to talk to me about what had occurred today and she said, “Carla I’m going to be more alert from now on and make sure that I give you plenty of warning before anything like this can ever happen again.”

I replied, “Yeah Yeah Sis.” and fell asleep.

Wednesday24/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was only seven in the morning but doctor Barsby was on his rounds already and I was his first patient that he looked in on.

He went through all the manipulation of my foot and ankle and said, “You will survive Carla, and can go home when your Mum come in, but I will want to see you in two days time to make sure there are no complications ok?”

I said, “Can I go back to school today?”

He replied, “No, I don’t want you on that ankle for at least three days young lady so leave school till next week.” and he left giving me a smile and a wink.

I thought to myself 'Why does every one wink at me? Silly people.'

Well I was not a happy camper by the time Mummy came in a half an hour later. I was just having some hospital type breakfast, and grumbling to myself about only having had one day at school and already taking a week off.

Mummy said “Oh sweetheart, it could have been so much worse. What if Brad had succeeded in abducting you, we may never have seen you alive again.”

This got me all emotional and I started to sob. I think Mummy saying that was the last straw and the dam just broke. She was holding me in her arms when in walked my teacher Mr Taylor who had came into see me before he went to the school. He wanted to see what had happened and said he will do all he can to stop anything like this happening again.

Mummy said, “I want that little criminal to be put away where he belongs.”

Mr Taylor said, “It wont be easy, but he will definitely be expelled from the school.”

Mummy took me home and made me comfortable in front of the new television and said she would be back in a little while and look after me for the next couple of days.

To be continued

Next time: Back to school, and talking to Brad so he knows about me being a girl.

Please leave a comment

Previously

When I woke up that morning I was not a happy camper. By the time Mummy came in half an hour later I was having some hospital type breakfast, and grumbling about only having one day at school and already taking a week off.

Mummy said, “Oh sweetheart it could have been so much worse. What if Brad had succeeded in abducting you, we may have never seen you alive again.”

This got me all emotional and I started to sob. I think Mummy saying that was the last straw and the dam just broke. She was holding me in her arms when in walked my teacher Mr Taylor who had came into see me before he went to the school. He wanted to see what had happened and said he will do all he can to stop anything like this happening again.

Mummy said, “I want that little criminal to be put away where he belongs.”

Mr Taylor said, “It wont be easy, but he will definitely be expelled from the school.”

Mummy took me home and made me comfortable in front of the new television and said she would be back in a little while and look after me for the next couple of days.

Wednesday 24/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was bored already and didn't want to be at home, missing out on seeing my friends at school but I had no choice because there was no way I could stand, let alone walk on my foot. So I sat there sulking till Mummy came home from the shops with some goodies for me. Ginger and Goldie came in and lay down by the chair that I was sitting in and looked at me with sad eyes because I should have been able to take them for a walk. If Ginger had been at the park yesterday Brad would be half dead by now. Fluffy was happy to just sleep in the sun out on the verandah.

Mummy came back with a heap of office books so I think she was going to do some book work for the business she and Daddy shared while she was at home looking after me.

Mummy said, “Carla, if you're not interested in watching any television, you can either do school work or do some adding up for me in the account books for the service station."

I said, “Mummy, do you trust me with adding up in Daddy’s books?”

She replied, “Sweetheart, you can't be any worse than your Daddy or Tony for that matter.”

It was nine thirty when Sargent Jim Long arrived in his police Land Rover with the Queensland police emblem on the doors which from a distance looked like a pineapple.

He walked up and knocked on the door and said, “Donna, it's Jim. Can I come in and ask young Carla a few questions? I promise if she gets upset I will stop, but I have to know just what happened yesterday so I can sort out what we are going to do with young Bradley Blake. His Dad has shot through, and I have to deal with his Mum who is in a real state, and can't seem to control the boy.”

Mummy said, “Yes Jim, come on in and I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday but I was stressed out, and all I wanted to do was get Carla to the hospital to see to her ankle.”

Jim replied. “Ok, thanks Donna.” and he went to the kitchen and brought out a chair to sit on, while he interviewed me about the previous day's events.

“Right Carla,” he said, “I want you to take your time and tell me in your own words what transpired at the park yesterday afternoon and also what happened in the morning so I can see what brought this attack on.”

That's when he asked me to slow down a couple of times so he could get it all down in his notebook.

Mummy said, “Now hang on Jim, are you saying that Carla made this little criminal mad in some way before the park incident?”

“No Donna, I am trying to work out why he thinks Carla is a boy, so can you enlighten me on what that's all about?”

Then Mummy said, “Jim lets go out on the verandah and leave Carla in peace for a bit so I can fill you in on her medical condition ok?”

So I went to do some more adding up in Mummy's books while she explained about my little inter-sexed plumbing problem. About half an hour later they came back in and he had another go at asking me what happened so I told him about my whole day from start to finish with me ending up in the hospital.

Once he was finished he said that Brad was too young to be going to any type of jail, but his Mum has agreed to send him to his uncle in Toowoomba, and he will go to a special school there.

Mummy said, “Well as long as he comes nowhere near Carla again I don’t care what you do with him.”

Then the Sargent sat down and said, “Carla I now understand about your medical condition and I wont put any thing in my report to breach your privacy, you have my word on that ok?”

I replied, “I hope Brad doesn’t end up in jail because he must have a horrible life with a Dad like that.”

Mummy said, “Carla, I hope you're not feeling sorry for him after what he did to you?”

I replied, “Well he needs help doesn’t he?”

Jim said “Well Carla, I wish everyone would be as forgiving as you, but we can't all have a family as loving as yours.”

He said he had better go write up his report and said goodbye and got in his car and was gone.

Ginger and Goldie were getting restless and needed to go for their exercise, I could do the only thing I could think of and got Mummy to take me out on to the verandah and give me a couple of tennis balls to throw out into the yard for them to fetch and keep bringing them back to me. I did this for half an hour until they were tired out. Barry rang Mummy and asked if I would be interested in talking to Brad to explain to him that I am not a boy but a girl with a bit of a medical problem. It might make him realise just what he had done. The government had sent a child welfare officer from Charleville and that they hoped to get Brad into a special school in a place called Westbrook Boy's Home just outside Toowoomba that deal in anger management for boys like Brad.

Mummy explained what Barry was asking me to do and said, “Sweetheart, you are under no obligation to do any such thing but if you want to help Brad, then that is entirely up to you.”

I replied, “Will there be plenty of people around in case he goes all angry again?”

Mummy said, “Don’t worry Carla, there is no way that the welfare people will take any risks with Brad harming you again.”

For some reason I felt sorry for Brad because he had had a real hard life and his Dad did the same thing as James did to Mummy, only Brad's Mum isn't a strong person, so I would like to help.

I said Mummy, “Tell Barry that I’ll do it if it will help Brad understand about me as well.”

Mummy took me back into the lounge and set up a few chairs so people could sit down while Brad and I had a conversation.

Mummy said “Darling, I hope we are doing the right thing because I am not at all sure that this is such a good idea.”

I replied, “Well Mummy, at least we can try. I know he hurt me but he doesn’t have any one to really care for him.”

Mummy said, “Carla, I think you are wasting your time. He is just like your brother John, and an angry young boy.”

Jim the Sargent went out to meet with the people from welfare and Barry came as well as them. Brad had his Mum with him as well and she looked very tired.

Jim said, “Brad sit down, and I want you to first apologise to Carla for what you did to her yesterday.”

Brad said “No fucking way. They owe my Dad two grand.” and he started to get up to have a go at me again yelling “Fucking rich bastards.”

Well that was that. Jim grabbed Brad by the scruff of the neck and took him out to the police car. His Mum and one of the welfare ladies went with them and they drove off. I felt really sad to see his Mum have to go through that. The other welfare lady and Barry came back inside and we sat back down in the lounge.

I asked Sandra, (her name was on a name tag pinned on her suit coat) “What will happen to Bradley, will he have to go to jail?”

She replied, “No, it will be a boys home near Toowoomba. It's called Westbrook Boys Home, and they will know what to do with him.”

Mummy said, “Carla, I told you it was a waste of time. He will end up killing someone eventually.”

Barry said “Carla, thank you for trying anyway. You are one in a million and I am pleased you and your family are part of this community.”

Sandra said she would write up a report when she got back to Charleville and was sorry it had to end this way. Mummy had to drive Sandra and Barry back to the school. The other lady went with Jim because he had his hands full dealing with Bradley.

Mummy went to work to pick up some lunch for us because it was getting late and almost past lunchtime when she arrived back. She had Jenny with her carrying some school books and said, “I brought Jenny back with me from school to keep you company and to also do some school work. Barry has given Jenny three days worth of work for you two to do. So that will keep you out of mischief for a while wont it?”

“Yes Mummy” I said rolling my eyes, and Jenny giggling.

Ricky rode his bike over after school and did his home work with me and Jenny, and we had a good talk about what had happened in the last couple of days.

Ricky said he wouldn't let me out of his sight at school lunch time any more and would ride home with me after school from now on, but it would be a couple of weeks before I could ride my bike again anyway.

Thursday and Friday, Jenny and I watched a couple of movies after we had done all the school work that was set out for us to finish. Mummy went back to work because Jenny was looking after me.

Jenny had become my best friend, and we were becoming like sisters so we did an experiment to see if she can see Jean in her mind. On Friday she stayed over and we shared my big double bed. Of course we had a shower together again and we compared our genitals again and discovered that the only difference is that I don’t have an opening but if I don’t spread my legs apart I don’t really look all that different to Jenny so when summer comes we will be able to go swimming and use the girls dressing sheds without any trouble.

Anyway we cuddled up to get warm and I said, “Jenny, don’t get frighten if you can hear Jean in your mind, because she sounds just like me and if she happens to appear to you she is an identical version of me ok?”

Jenny replied, “I thought she can only appear to family members?”

“Well lets try and see what happens when we try because she is always there for me and she might be able to appear to you through me if we both concentrate really hard.” I said, “Ok Jenny, close your eyes and listen to me talking to Jean and see if you can hear her in your mind.”

I said, “Jean do you think you will be able to appear to Jenny?”

She answered and I could see her and hear her as though she was right next to me.

She said, “Carla, you will have to hug Jenny really tight for this to work, but I think I can make her see me for a few seconds.”

We did as Jean said and I could feel Jenny tremble just like I used to do when Jean first started to communicate with me. Jenny was hanging on to me that tight that I could hardly breath but all of a sudden she said, “Wow you look like Carla,” and Jean said, “Carla it's working she can hear and see me,” it lasted only for about fifteen seconds but Jenny could still hear her.

Jean said, “Carla I have to rest now but I will talk with you later. I love you Sis.” and then she faded. Jenny was still shaking and I held onto her till the shaking stopped.

Jenny started to relax and said, “Oh my God Carla, that was amazing. She looks and sounds just like you but she is wearing the most beautiful gown I have ever seen in my entire life.”

I replied, “Yeah, I must ask her if she only has the one gown because I have never seen her in anything else.”

It was hard to stop Jenny from talking about what she had just experienced and we talked and giggled till Mummy came in to the bedroom and said, “You two are a pair giggling Gerties! It is ten thirty and I think it's time you both went to sleep don’t you?”

Jenny and I both said,“Yes Mummy.”

Mummy walked out of the room shaking her head and said to herself, “I think I have just gained another daughter.”

Jenny and I fell asleep while we were cuddled up together. Rita was using the spare bed room tonight because she has to get up to go to work in the morning and decided to let me and Jenny have the bedroom to ourselves.

Saturday 27/6/59
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We slept in till eight am and Mummy said, “Right you two, shower time and Carla, get Jenny to unwrap that bandage off your ankle, so I can have a look at it and see if I have to take you to the hospital for the doctor to have another look at it. I think you should try to put some pressure on it to stop it from seizing up.”

Jenny was very gentle with the unwrapping of the bandage and once it was off she said, “Ooh my God! It's all bruised but the swelling is right down.” I called out to Mummy to have a look and by the time she was at the bedroom door I was standing on both feet and took a couple of steps. It did hurt a little bit but I could walk good enough to walk down to the shower.

Mummy said, “I think by the look of that I can send you off to school on Monday young lady”.

We got down to the shower with me walking slowly. Mummy had put the kerosene heater in the bathroom half an hour earlier because it is really cold in the mornings so Jenny and I had our shower and put on a warm fluffy dressing gowns on and headed back to the bed room to get dressed for the day. It was too cold for skirts so we opted for jeans, warm winter blouses and jumpers. On our feet we wore woolen lined boots. My foot swelling was down enough to get the boot on and once I had it on it felt ok to walk . Mummy, Daddy, and Rita were all at the table having their breakfast and talking about the events of the last week and what they thought would happen to Bradley Blake.

Daddy said, “I think the place he is being sent to will probably make him worse but there is really nowhere else to send a boy with that kind of attitude.”

I said, “I feel sad for his Mum because she is now on her own.”

Jenny said, “What if we go and see her and see if she needs any help around the house?”

Rita said, “I think you had better stay away from her for the time being because she probably thinks that we are to blame for Bradley getting so mad.”

Daddy said, “I will give the welfare people a ring on Monday and see what they say.”

After breakfast Jenny and myself went back to the bedroom and started to do things with our hair. We both have really long blond hair. Mine was half-way down my back and Jenny's was just a little bit shorter but not by much. Jenny has the most beautiful blue eyes in contrast to my chocolate brown ones. She was the same size as me in every way, so we could interchange any of our clothes. We decide to put our hair in two piggy tails and put pink ribbons in mine and yellow ones in Jenny's.

Mummy came into the room as we were both sitting at the vanity admiring ourselves when she said, “Smile!!” and the camera flash went off.

She said, “Girls, I want you both to go to the lounge and I want to take a couple more photos in there.”

I hobbled down to the lounge room with Jenny putting her arm through mine for support.

Mummy said, “Sit in the main lounge and let me see how you two will look together as my bridesmaids.”

Jenny and I squealed when she said that and I said, “Mummy what about Rita?”

She replied, “What about Rita?”

Jenny said, “I can't take Rita's place, she will kill me.”

Mummy said, “And what is wrong with having three bridesmaids may I ask?”

Jenny said, “Ooh!! I had better ring Mummy and tell her to start making a dress for me.” and went to get up to ring her Mum straight away, but Mummy said, “Stop!! it is all organised. Jenny, your Mum is on her way here now to have a chat about what we will do about your dress. We will have to go back to Mary's shop and see if she has another gown like the one that Rita and Carla have.”

Jan arrived ten minutes later. Daddy and Rita went off to work; Rita to the restaurant and Daddy to the garage to do some work with Tony and Henry. Just as Jenny's Mum walked in we heard another car pull up and it was Aunty Bella. When she came into the lounge where we all were, she said, “You lot didn't think I was going to miss out on going to the dress shop did you?”

Mummy and Jan laughed and Jan said, “Bella, I thought you were busy making curtains for your house.

Bella replied, ”What's more important making curtains, or getting these girls set for the big day?”

Just as we were about to leave in the car to go down to Mary's shop the phone rang and Mummy had to race back into the house and answer it. When she came back out she said, “That was doctor Ryan and he wants us to come down to his surgery when we are finished at Mary's dress shop because he had a phone call from Rose and needs to talk with me and you as soon as possible.

I said, “Mummy what is wrong and why is he wanting to see me so urgently?”

She replied, “I think it might have something to do with the last x rays that were taken in Brisbane”

I said almost in tears "Mummy I am not going to change back.”

She replied, “Carla sweetheart, I think you will find it is good news so stop fretting and relax and we'll go and see if we can fit Jenny out in a gown like yours and Rita’s, ok?”

“Yes Mummy.”

When we got to the shop Mary was waiting for us out on the footpath in the warm sun in front of the shop, she said, “This old age is no good in the cold weather and I have to warm up my aching bones before I can do anything in the cold shop.” I hobbled in after the rest of them as Jenny was too excited to wait and help me walk in. Mary was as good as her word to Mummy, and had found a gown that was the same as mine and seeing that Jenny was the same size as me she got the lady that does all her alterations to adjust the gown to Jenny’s size.

Jenny stripped of to her underwear in a flash and was ready to try on the gown in one minute flat. It fitted her beautifully and she even tried on the same type of shoes as mine to match.

Mary said, “Jan this one is going to be on the house because I am going to want to be at the wedding showing people of this town that I can supply any of the local girls all their needs for their big day.” Jan, Aunty Bella, and Jenny went back to our place because when Mummy and me were finished seeing Doctor Ryan we were going to get dressed in all our wedding finery.

We arrived at Doctor Ryan's surgery and walked in to the front office. He was not normally there on Saturdays but came in because of me, I am that important you see!! He was waiting in his office with the door open and when he heard us, said, “Come straight in ladies, this shouldn’t take to long and you can get back to your fashion parade" and added, "I hope I will get a wedding invite or I shall be disappointed.”

Mummy replied “I'll make sure you and your wife Jan are on the guest list Jim.”

He then looked at me and said, “Carla what do you think we found when we took a closer look at those last x-rays that were taken at the Mater?”

I replied, “I hope there is a vagina hidden in behind the skin down there."

He replied, “Well we haven’t gone that far but we have discovered two little things called ovaries that are just visible, and we think that the girl in you is more or less ninety percent, so Rose and some of her colleges have agreed to start you on some very mild oestrogen hormone tablets to see how your body develops, and if all goes the way we think it will you may only have to wait a couple of years to have corrective surgery.” I as well as Mummy sat there with our mouths open.

Doctor Ryan said, “That is what I thought you would be like when I told you two what we have found” he said with a grin on his face. We left there and went to the chemist to fill the prescription for my girl pills and went home with the good news and had a fashion show.

To be continued.

Next time: Back to school and making new friends, and having a long talk with Jean.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

He then looked at me and said “Carla, what do you do you think we found when we took a closer look at the last x-rays that were taken at the Mater?”

I replied, “I hope there is a vagina hidden in behind the skin down there.”

He replied “Well we haven’t gone that far, but we have discovered two little things called ovaries that are just visible, and we think that the girl in you is more or less ninety percent. So Rose and some of her colleagues have agreed to start you on some very mild oestrogen hormone tablets to see how your body develops, and if all goes well, the way we think it will, you may only have to wait a couple of years to have corrective surgery.”

I as well as Mummy sat there with our mouths open.

Doctor Ryan said with a grin on his face “That is what I thought you would be like when I told you two what we have found.”

We left there and went to the chemist to fill the prescription for my ''girl pills'' and went home with the good news and had a fashion show.

Mummy called Rita and told her to get Daddy or Uncle Tony to drive her home so we could all get dressed in our wedding gowns and see what we looked like. She also rang Mary at the dress shop and asked her if she wanted to come and bring her camera to take some photos and make up a scrap book that she could show her customers later on in her shop. Mary closed her shop and was there half an hour later and she also made a detour to Donna's Carvery to pick up a take away lunch to feed an army.

So before we got all carried away with dressing up, we went out into the yard into the warm winter sunshine and sat down at the picnic table and gorged ourselves on Mummy’s take away lamb roast and potatoes in their jackets with Aunty Bella's special gravy, that she reckons is a secret recipe but I think Mummy was watching her make it the other day so it is not a secret any more.

Mary was a keen photographer and she had with her a camera on a tripod with a flash thingy on the side of the camera. She described the working of the camera but it all went over the top of my head, and I said to her, “Mary, too much information, just lets get into the dressing up part please!!”

Rita said, “Hear hear” which made me and Jenny have a fit of the giggles.

Rita said, “What!!?”

Jenny's Mum said, “Alright, lets get this show on the road shall we?” so we all went into the lounge where all the gowns and Mummy's wedding dress was laid out on two separate lounge chairs.

Mummy rang Daddy and told him not to come home and just barge into the house because there would be half dressed ladies running about. Daddy must have said something naughty because she said to him before hanging up, “Bill behave yourself will you?” but was laughing when she walked back into the lounge and said, “Men have a one track mind.”

Bella said, “He isn't Italian is he?”

Mummy replied, “No why?”

Aunty Bella said, “Oh never mind.” That got Mary and Jan laughing as well.

I said, “I don't get it. What's Italian got to do with Daddy being naughty?”

Rita then said, “Look can we just get these gowns sorted out and stop mucking about?”

Mary was the one that took control and said, “Right ladies, lets get you all into your undies first, so we can dress from the inside out.” so me, Mummy, Rita and Jenny did as we were told and stripped down to our underwear Mummy even took off her bra because the dress she had picked was one that had an inbuilt breast support sewn into it. The slip she put on was a white silky one with a lot of frilly lace-work. On the day of the wedding she has pair of white silk knickers, Mummy is into silk 'I think'. Bella helped Mummy on with the dress and zipped her up. Then came the shoes and she was ready except for a hair do and make up.

Mummy said, “Stockings is the only thing missing.”

Then it was Rita's turn. She was told to take of her bra as well because the gown was strapless and that required a new strapless bra. Rita took off her bra and Mary said, “That is what we all looked like many years ago.”

All the older women nodded in agreement. The bra that Mummy handed Rita was pink and matched the pink of the gown. She put on the half slip and Mummy then held the gown for Rita to step into. Once it was pulled up and over Rita big breasts Mummy did up the zip at the back of the gown. She then sat down and slipped on the shoes and she was ready. She stood up and did a twirl in the full length gown and she looked really pretty.

I said, “Wow Rita!! Peter is going to flip when he sees you in that.”

She replied, “I hope so Sis.”

Then it was Jenny and I that had to get dressed in our bridesmaid's gowns.

Mummy said, “You two young ladies are going to get your first training bra, because these gowns wont look any good without giving you a little bit of shape up top.”

She then said, “Put your arms out in front of you and get your first lesson in putting on a bra.” Jenny and I got another fit of the giggles but held our arms out like we were told to do and got our first lesson in how to reach behind our backs to put the little hooks together and then adjust the straps on our shoulders so the bra looked like it was fitting right.

These bras were also pink of course.

“What other colour is there?” I said.

Mary then produced a couple of things that looked like shoulder pads, and Jenny said, “But our gowns are strapless Mary. What do we need shoulder pads for?”

Every one except me and Jenny laughed, and Jenny said, “What did I say!?”

Mary then came over to us and pulled the bra cups aside enough to slip the shoulder pads in to give us shape and it looked like we had suddenly sprouted our own breasts.

Bella said, “Girls, they are called breast enhancers and lots of young girls use them to make themselves look a bit older and make the boys take notice of them as well.”

Rita then did her famous boob jiggle thing and made her breasts nearly fall out of her bra. We all had a fit of the giggles and almost fell over each other. Anyway Jenny and I were helped to complete getting dressed and then it was time to take some photos of us standing and sitting in different poses. We also went out and stood on the steps on the verandah. Mary took at least fifty photos and said that she always takes a lot so she can pick out the best ones later. She is also going to be our photographer at the wedding. I felt really girly and I gave Jenny a hug and while I was hugging her Jenny started to tremble.

I said to her, “Quick, close your eyes and concentrate on Jean now!!” and we both closed our eyes tight and there she was in her beautiful gown and both me and Jenny could not only see her but Jean was speaking to us as though it was just a normal thing to do.

Jean said, “Carla and Jenny, I have been given a little more strength in spirit and I will be able to do this for longer than I have in the past but I must not over do it, Carla! I am always with you and live in you in spirit till the day you come and join me in my realm as well.” and then she said, “I love you Sis.” and she slowly faded but we could keep talking to her and while I had the chance I asked her if she only has the one gown and she replied, “Carla, the gown you see is what I chose but I can chose something different if I want.” then she said, “Carla I have to rest now. I love you.” and then she stopped communicating.

Me and Jenny opened our eyes and saw Mary, Jan, and Aunty Bella with their mouths open. Rita just shrugged and Mummy said, “Now ladies you have seen what Carla is all about and I can assure you there is no trickery or any witches involved, because I have had the privilege to talk to my Jean through Carla as well and it is very real.”

Jenny said, “Mummy I could see Carla's sister and hear her talk to us as though she was in this room and I get the trembles when it happens and Mummy she looks and sounds just like Carla.”

Aunty Bella, Mary, and Jan all crossed themselves because they were all Catholics but never questioned what they had just witnessed. It was time to get changed out of the wedding clothes and pack them all away till the wedding. When we got to the bras that Jenny and I were wearing Mary said, “Keep them on and get use to wearing them because it wont be very long before you will be needing them anyway.”

Well with me taking 'girl pills' I reckon my breast will start growing straight away, Jenny has already been complaining about have itchy nipples. I can't wait to do what Rita does.

The wedding party all got redressed in normal clothes and we had afternoon tea out in the garden and Jenny and I threw the balls for the dogs to get their daily exercise while Fluffy just sleeps all the time. Geees what a life! Anyway, Jenny asked Mummy and her Mum if she could stay till Monday morning so she could help me back to school on Monday and both Mums said ok but then it will be back to normal. We both said “Thanks Mummy” in unison and giggled after that. All the ladies just shook their heads and said, “Young girls.”

Aunty Bella and Mary said their goodbyes and left.

Mummy said, “Jenny, we go to the Lutheran church now because Rita and Carla have been baptised there and that is where Bill and myself will be married so if you want to come to church with us in the morning you are welcome but you have to have your Mummy’s permission to come with us ok?”

Jan answered before Jenny could say anything because as Mummy was telling Jenny about us being Lutheran she was on the verge of tears.

Jan said, “Donna, we are Catholic but we are also realists and like Bill we do what is best for us not the Pope, so if Jenny wants to join you and your family at the Lutheran church she is free to do so with my blessing.”

Jenny raced into her Mummy’s arm and said, “Thank you Mummy. Carla is my best friend and I want go where she goes.”

Mummy and Jan spoke for another hour, and then Jan said she would bring Jenny a clean uniform for Monday tomorrow sometime, and also bring a spare blouse for me because the one that had blood on it from the business with Brad had to be put in the bin. Mary has had to order more for her shop but they had to come from Brisbane, so that took about a week for them to arrive. Jenny didn't need any extra clothes when she visited with me because we wear the same size apart from I liked pink and she liked yellow. Even our undies were pink and yellow.

'I wonder what colour undies Jean wears?'

We helped Rita prepare dinner while Mummy hung up all the gowns and her dress and put the shoes away in their box so that no dirt would spoil them till the big day in September. Dinner was t-bone steak and cauliflower and peas with some of Aunty Bella's amazing gravy.

We set the table in the warm kitchen and were ready to dish up as soon as Daddy came home from the garage. It wasn't long before he walked in and said, “My that smells good.” and gave Rita, Jenny and I a kiss on the top of our heads and said, “Well how did the the big fashion show go ladies?”

Mummy walked in before we girls could respond. She put her arms around Daddy's neck and gave him one of her toe-curling kisses.

Rita said, “Alright you two. Can you save that for the bed room we have young kids present.”

Mummy said, “Not so young any more Rita, and I have seen you kiss Peter with just as much passion so you can't talk can you?”

Rita replied, “Yeah ok.”

Daddy then said with a big satisfied grin on his face, “Who cares? I’ll take all the kissen and loven I can get.” and proceeded to lift Mummy of her feet and gave her another passionate kiss. Mummy looked like she had weak legs after that and said, “Well Bill darling, you can come home to me like this any time you want.”

Us kids all rolled our eyes and said in unison and said “Puleese!!”

Rita said, “Dad, are you ready for us to dish up dinner?”

Daddy replied “As soon as I wash my hands I will be luv.”

Rita and Mummy got the plates out and took them to where the steaks were on the stove and dished up one plate at a time and got me and Jenny to take them to the table. We all sat down and ate our meal without a lot of conversation, as Mummy always says 'eat or speak - don’t do both.' Once the main meal was finished there was a chocolate mousse with whipped cream, very rich and fattening, but Daddy likes to have desert so Mummy seems to spoil him and we will all get fat!!.

Once the table was cleared and the washing up was done we went into the lounge to watch the movie, ''Some like it Hot'' with Tony Curtis in it. Jenny and I didn't get to see the end because we kept falling asleep so Mummy chased us off to bed. We got dressed in winter pj's and cuddled up to get warm and fell asleep like that and dreamed of being at Mummy's wedding.

Sunday 28/6/59.
~~~~~~~~~~~

We woke up at six am and it was freezing cold, so we put on our woollen socks and winter dressing gowns. Jenny had left some of her things because she stayed quite a lot, and we were becoming more like sisters than friends. She was an only child so she got lonely at home. That is why her Mum didn't mind Jenny being at my place.

We went to the kitchen and made breakfast for everyone seeing we all had to get ready for church. Jenny did the sausages and eggs, and I did the toast and made the tea. We decided to take the breakfast to Mummy and Daddy and also Rita, who was in her own bed room now, because Jenny was spending so much time sleeping over it just made it easier for her to be in her own room, but I think she is doing it to have Peter in her room and not have us spying on her and Peter kissing.

We put the food on separate trays. I still had to walk quite slowly because I didn't want to go over on my sprained ankle, but I made it to Mummy's bedroom ok, and Jenny went to Rita's room and delivered the tray with the breakfast to her.

Jenny knocked on Rita's door and said, “Room service” and went in. I knocked on Mummy's door and said the same thing and walked in. Mummy and Daddy were in a tight cuddle so I said, “Oops sorry, I'll go out and knock again.” but Daddy said, “Sweetheart it's alright we were only having a morning cuddle.”

I replied, “I still should have waited to hear you say 'come in' Daddy.”

Mummy said “Darling it's ok really, and thank you for bringing in this lovely breakfast.” She then said, “I hope you are not overdoing it on that ankle are you?”

“No Mummy I’m not. After all I want to go back to school tomorrow.”

Jenny and I went back to the kitchen and then had our own breakfast but decide that the washing up would have to wait till later so we went back to our room and laid out the clothes we were going to wear for church which was not very exciting, because winter time does not let you wear the real nice things that we liked.

Anyway, we all went to church and got used to how things were done in the Lutheran church service, and even Daddy said that he didn't mind the change and to hell with the rules of the Catholic church. The rest of today was spent with me and Jenny playing around with the animals and watching some television and generally relaxing. It had been a long week.

Monday 29/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~
We were up early once again and had breakfast, made our school lunches and got dressed in our school uniforms. We did each others hair in pony tails with the school colour ribbons to hold them in place. Mummy drove us to school and I would be driven to school till I could ride my bike again once my ankle healed and was strong enough to push the bike pedals.

We were greeted by Brenda and June and they gave me a hug and said that the whole school was upset about what happened to me last week and that Brad had been sent to a boys home to sort him out. We all walked to where our school bags were left and went to the parade ground for morning assembly.

To be continued.

Next time coping at school and joining the school choir.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

Monday 29/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were up early once again and had breakfast, made our school lunches and got dressed in our school uniforms. We did each others hair in pony tails with the school colour ribbons to hold them in place. Mummy drove us to school and I would be driven to school till I could ride my bike again once my ankle healed and was strong enough to push the bike pedals.

We were greeted by Brenda and June and they gave me a hug and said that the whole school was upset about what happened to me last week and that Brad had been sent to a boys home to sort him out. We all walked to where our school bags were left and went to the parade ground for morning assembly.

The whole school assembled on the parade ground every morning unless it rained and the principal addressed the school and gave his little pep talk and any other business on the day's agenda but that day he made mention of what happened to me the previous week and said that I would not be hassled by any other student or they would be expelled like Bradley Blake without question. Then he ended his address and we all made our way to our class room to start the day's lessons.

Once I was sitting at my desk beside Jenny, I looked around and saw Brenda and June were sitting behind me and I felt myself starting to relax a bit. Peter Taylor my teacher said “Good morning class.” and we all said “Good morning sir.” and then he stood in front of the class and said “We have our little girl back today so make sure she is not being bullied by anyone today or look out!”

The whole class said, “Yes sir.”

Of course the first lesson was maths. 'Oh boy!' I thought I would be in trouble but in actual fact the way Mr Taylor was explaining things made it quite easy to understand, so I might not be the dummy I thought I was at maths after all. It was no time at all and the morning break bell went and we all filed out of the classroom and went out into the play-ground to just talk and have our oranges or an apple. The four of us girls were sitting down on a bench under a giant pepereena tree when some girls walked over to us and one said to me, “You're Carla aren’t you? I'm Sandy and I am really sorry that monster Bradley attacked you like that.”

I replied, “Yeah, it really hurt when he punched me in the face, and I bled all over my nice new blouse. Mummy ended having to throw it in the bin so I had to borrow Jenny's spare one till some new one come from Brisbane to Mary's dress shop.”

Sandy then said, “I heard you sing at church the other day. I was standing right next to you. You have a really nice voice Carla.”

I replied, “Did you know that I have joined the church choir?”

“Yes, and that is why I am talking to you now. How would you like to be part of the school choir?”

“Ok but I don't know if I'm good enough for that.”

She replied “Oh you're good enough alright because when I spoke with the music teacher Miss Tracy Alcorn she said she heard about you from Pastor Miller, so if he thinks you are good enough than you will be good enough for Miss Alcorn.”

There were six boys and six girls in the school choir and now they would have an extra one. I would be the youngest at nine, and the oldest one was a boy named Rodney and he was sixteen.

The bell went and we had to head back to the classroom and as we were walking back Ricky came up and asked if I was coping ok with my sore ankle.

I replied “I’ll survive.” I think he just wanted to say hello and let me know he was looking out for me. 'I think he loves me'.

Brenda said, “Hey! he's cute, is he really your boyfriend?”

I replied, “Yep, eyes off!”

Brenda said, “Don't worry Carla, I'm not allowed to have a boy friend, Mummy says they are only trouble anyway.”

I replied “Oh Ricky’s no trouble. I can get him to do anything for me I just have to use my magic eyes.” and we all started to giggle and walked back into the classroom.

The next subject was English and writing a composition on the history of Queensland Railways and what it did to open up the outback for the cattle industry. Well I knew all about the sheep and wool industry but in a way it was the same railway that carried the bales of wool to the Brisbane wool stores to be auctioned off to the world wool garment industries. So I included that in my composition and hoped that it would get a pass when my teacher marked it, I guessed I’d find out at the start of the next day. That took us to the lunch bell. It was an hour long, so more gossip, talking with my friends about what we going to do in the August school holidays and clothes.

Once I had my sandwiches and a drink of cordial that I had in a bottle in my lunch pack, I was putting it away when Sandy came up to me and said, “Carla, Miss Alcorn asked me to come and get you once you were finished your lunch and bring you to her, because she wants to talk to you about you joining the choir.”

Jenny said, “Can I come too Sandy?”

She replied, “I don’t see why not, so come on then Carla lets go.”

I replied, “Ok, just let me put my lunch things away.” Jenny and I said 'see you back in class' to Brenda and June and went with Sandy to the classroom that the music teacher used.

Sandy said she was eleven years old and was in grade six and she should be in grade seven but she was quite sick in grade three and spent a lot of time in hospital in Brisbane, so she had to repeat grade three again.

Anyway we arrived at the music teachers classroom and knocked on the door and a middle aged lady with a big warm smile said, “Hello, you must be the famous Carla I have been hearing about.” I could feel my face getting hot so I must have been blushing.

She said, “Carla, I’m sorry you had a bad start at school last week, but that boy was always a trouble-maker and I’m glad he got sent to a place where they might straighten him out.”

I replied, “I know he hurt me miss, but now his mother is on her own and I feel that it was because of my other father, she does not have any one to talk to.”

Miss Alcorn said, “Carla dear, I can see you are a very caring little girl and I will look into it and see we can't do something about helping Mrs Blake. If you come back to me before the end of the week I will see if we can go and talk to her ok?”

I replied, “Thank you miss.” So she then talked to me about my singing at the church and how impressed Mr Miller was with my voice and she wasn't about take no for an answer for me to become part of the choir.

Then Jenny said, “Miss Alcorn, can I have a try out for the school choir as well, because I have heard Carla sing a lot, and I think she can probable teach me to sing as well?”

Miss Alcorn replied, “Jenny, the more the merrier. We will start you both off next week and see what range your voices have so we know how to place you in the choir make up.”

Well that took us to the bell for this afternoon's class and it was domestic training for the girls and manual arts for the boys. This lesson I liked, because I have been taught by Mummy a qualified chef in the kitchen, and for sewing Rita has taught me to be able to sew a dress for myself on her Singer sewing machine that she was given for her fifteenth birthday by Margaret Croft the wife of the owner of River Downs, the sheep station we lived on till recently.

The afternoon went quickly. We baked a shepherd's pie and got to take it home for our parents to try. It was good to learn to do a shepherd's pie because it is the only thing that I haven't tried to bake at home yet I think Mummy will be pleased that I am learning to do new things as well. Our domestic training teacher was a younger lady by the name of Mrs Jane Robinson who was very softly spoken so you had to listen to her very carefully to make sure you didn't miss what she was saying.

She handed us our marks at the end of class and I got an eighty percent tag on the top of my pie. I of course thought it should have been ninety ninety percent, but then I am perfect at everything!

Jenny just rolled her eyes at me and said, “We both should have got one hundred percent.” and we both got into trouble for giggling in the class room, and had to stay back for ten minutes to help put everything away.

Mummy was waiting for me and Jenny as we came out of the main gate of the school grounds and was surprised to see we were carrying two shepherds' pies.

She said, “Well we have two little chefs now have we?”

I said, “No Mummy, but I think mine deserved a higher mark than eighty percent.”

Mummy replied, “Well the proof will be in the pudding won't it, so I will pass judgment when we try it out for dinner tonight.”

I said “Mummy, I have to bring some money to Mrs Robinson tomorrow for the ingredients. The school doesn’t pay for that.”

Mummy said, “How much do you owe?”

I said, “Oh I forgot to ask.”

Jenny said, “It is usually five shillings Aunty Donna.”

Mummy replied, “Ok, Carla, remind me in the morning to give you the money.”

We got into the car. Mummy was driving Daddy’s car for some reason but I didn't to bother to find out why. We stopped to drop off Jenny at her home and drove straight home. I had homework to see to so Mummy said to go and change out of my school uniform and get my home work done while she got dinner under way.

My ankle still had to have a bandage on it to stop it from swelling but it really didn't hurt any more so, when I was finished my home work I went outside and gave the two dogs a workout with the balls. I would be glad when I could get on my bike again and take them down to the park for a run in the afternoons. At least I wouldn't have any problems with anyone giving me any trouble because Ginger would have them in one go. Daddy and Rita arrived home and I set the table for dinner. It was spaghetti bolognese and my shepherd's pie. I cut the pie into four equal pieces and placed them on separate little plates.

Mummy, Daddy, and Rita came home by six o'clock now and left the running of the restaurant to Aunty Bella, Linda and Alice with Alice's Mum coming in when it got too busy.

Anyway ,back to my pie. Mummy said, “We should eat it first because I want to taste it before the taste of the Bolognese is in my mouth.” so we all picked up the pie and took a bite out of the smallish piece of we had. I just held my breath and waited till every one had a chance to have a taste.

Daddy spoke first and said, “Wow Carla, that gets the thumbs up for me.” Mummy and Rita were still chewing theirs and just made big eyes and nodded their heads in agreement with Daddy.

I said, “It's more yummy than I thought it would be, so why did I only get an eighty percent mark from Mrs Robinson?”

Mummy said, “I don’t think she had a taste did she?”

I replied, “No. She said she would have to taste every one and then she would not be able to tell the difference in the end.”

Mummy said, “Yeah that makes sense. I think if you ask the rest of the class tomorrow they would all have gotten eighty percent marking. She is a very clever teacher.”

Once dinner was over and everything cleaned up and put away, we went into the lounge and talked instead of watching television. Mummy brought up the subject of my inter-sexed condition and said that she got a call from Doctor Ryan today and he wants to see me tomorrow after school to take some blood and see what I am feeling like emotionally with the girl pills that I am taking every morning.

I said, “Mummy, how should I feel any different? I am a girl, so how can the pills make me feel any different?”

Mummy replied, “Well when a girl goes through puberty it is not only the body that changes but your emotions also change. Just ask Rita and she will enlighten you as to what you go through when you get your first period.”

I replied “But Mummy I haven’t got an opening down there so where will the blood come out of me?” At this stage Daddy got up and said “I don't think you ladies need me around for this discussion so I’ll go and read in bed.” and gave all us girls a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight.

Mummy continued to tell me what the doctors had planned for me once they had discovered that I have ovaries and that I will at some stage in the not too distant future need to have on operation to make me be able to have periods like a normal girl.

I then asked, “Does that mean I will have a proper vagina like you and Rita and be able to give birth to a baby?”

Mummy replied, “I believe you will be able to give birth but it might have to be by caesarean.”

I said, “What is that?”

Rita said before Mummy could reply, “They cut you open to get the baby out of your tummy.”

“Ohh I don't think I will have any kids.” I said as I shuddered to think about it.

Mummy said, “Carla don't you worry about any of that at the moment. First things first ok?”

“But Mummy!”

“Carla, calm down. That is a long way off and you might find that after they have fixed you up that your vagina will be as normal as any other girl and then you can go through the pain of giving birth like the rest of us.”

I went to bed and dreamed of being cut up like a sheep in a butcher's shop and at one stage was calling out to Jean to save me. She responded and calmed me down enough to get me to go back to sleep.

Tuesday 30/6/59
~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up still thinking about the dream I had and then Jean was in my mind and she kept saying “Carla be calm be calm.” and it was as if she had zapped me with some sort of electric currant and I just went all floppy and had to lay back down. I went back to sleep and Mummy came in and had to wake me up to have a shower and get ready to go to school.

Mummy picked up Jenny on our way and Jenny's Dad Don MacKenzie came out to the car and said, “Donna, thank you for having Jenny over at your place. She really gets quite lonely some time with just us adults, and Carla and her are more like sisters now.”

Mummy replied, “Jenny is no problem and she can stay with us anytime.” Both Jenny and I nodded our heads and then Jenny kissed her Daddy and said, “See you tonight” and got in the car and we were on our way to school.

Tuesday was sports day and I noticed that Jenny was wearing a t-shirt and short pleated skirt when she got in the car, and it was hard for her to get in and not show her knickers to me. She said “Oops, at least there are no boys around.”

I replied, “I haven't got a sports outfit yet. I wonder if I'll need one today?”

“It's all in hand Carla. Barry rang me last night and told me to get you to go to his office as soon as you arrive at the school this morning and he will give you the sports uniform.” Mummy explained.

I replied, “How do they know if it is going to fit me Mummy?”

“Carla, there are a lot of second hand school uniforms that mothers bring into the school for just this type of thing.”

“But Mummy, it's not new.”

“Sweetheart, I talked to Mary but she hasn't got your size in stock at the moment so this one will have to do for now.”

“But Mummy it might not fit me.” I whined. Jenny tried to console me and said, “Carla it will be ok! I bet it will fit you like a glove.”

I replied, “That’s what I’m afraid of.” and we both started to giggle.

Mummy pulled up at the main gate and said, “Carla sweetheart, there is a new uniform on order for you so it will only be today that you will have to wear the one they have found for you, so don't worry, you will look just as pretty as you always do.”

“Yes Mummy.”

“Ok, now give your Mummy a kiss and get in there.” I gave Mummy a kiss and so did Jenny who said, “Aunty Donna, I will look after her today. She'll be fine.”

Mummy breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Fussy girls!!” and drove off to work.

Jenny and I both went straight to the principal's office and knocked on his door, but it was Mrs Robinson who answered the door and she said, “Come in girls, I’ve been waiting for you. Carla, I want you to try this uniform on for me, I think it is the right size.”

I replied, “What here in the office?”

“Carla I will be here and to make sure no one comes in I will lock the door, ok?”

“Yes Mrs Robinson.” She was right it did fit me perfectly, and Jenny said, “I told you it would be ok didn't I?” Anyway I kept the sports uniform on and folded up my other one and put it in a bag that Mrs Robinson gave me.

Jenny and I went to our classroom to put our bags were they belonged and then went out to the parade ground for morning assembly. I asked Jenny what sport she played in and she said, “Well I play tennis, but there is also gymnastics and folk dancing for the girls. I think the boys mainly play football and cricket.”

I said, “I can play tennis because there was a tennis court at River Downs, and me and Rita used to play with some of the workers on weekends so I got quite good at it.”

Jenny said, “Ooh, that is brilliant. We will win every game of doubles that we play.”

After morning assembly we went to our classroom and did a couple of subjects till the morning break bell rang and we all filed out to the playground and had our bits of fruit or cake. When the bell rang again, our teacher was at the play ground and said “Alright everyone, you know what sport you all belong to so off you go.”

Jenny and I started to walked to the tennis courts and I said, “These uniforms are not the right ones for playing tennis in.”

Jenny replied, “well it is only the colour that is wrong, but they said it would be too expensive to have separate uniforms for different sports.”

Anyway, I still had a strapped up ankle so I would only be watching that day. Sports day was a short day for some students because most of the teachers were out in the playground, so there were no teachers left to go back to the class room. Mummy must have known about that because she came to the tennis courts and waited till Jenny had finished her game and then we collected our school bags and Mummy took us home. Jenny came to our place for her Mum to pick her up later in the afternoon. We played with the dogs till Jenny's Mum arrived.

To be continued.

Next time: More school and going out bush with Alice, meeting with aboriginal elders.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

After morning assembly we went to our classroom and did a couple of subjects till the morning break bell rang and we all filed out to the playground and had our bits of fruit or cake. When the bell rang again, our teacher was at the play ground and said “Alright everyone, you know what sport you all belong to so off you go.”

Jenny and I started to walked to the tennis courts and I said, “These uniforms are not the right ones for playing tennis in.”

Jenny replied, “well it is only the colour that is wrong, but they said it would be too expensive to have separate uniforms for different sports.”

Anyway, I still had a strapped up ankle so I would only be watching that day. Sports day was a short day for some students because most of the teachers were out in the playground, so there were no teachers left to go back to the class room. Mummy must have known about that because she came to the tennis courts and waited till Jenny had finished her game and then we collected our school bags and Mummy took us home. Jenny came to our place for her Mum to pick her up later in the afternoon. We played with the dogs till Jenny's Mum arrived.

There was no home work on Tuesdays because of sports so I wrote some more stuff in the diary that Rose gave to me to record all my feelings and emotions in when I started taking my girl pills.

I didn't know what I was supposed to write because I didn't feel any different, so I went out to the kitchen where Mummy was putting the saucepan full of vegetables on the stove to boil for dinner. There was also a meat loaf in the oven that I could smell as I entered the kitchen, which almost made me forget what I was going to ask Mummy.

Mummy said, “Hello sweetheart, what's wrong? You have a worried look on your face.”

That made me remember what I was there for and said, “Mummy I am confused. What am I supposed to write in the diary because I don't feel any different.”

“Carla, that is what Rose will wants to know because that means you are not having any problems with taking the hormone pills that Rose has prescribed for you.”

“Ok but there is one thing, my nipples are all itchy. Will I put that in the diary as well?”

“Oh Carla, you are a funny little girl aren’t you?”

“Yes Mummy so you keep telling me.” I then asked, “Will I start growing breasts now, and how big will they get?”

Mummy came and gave me a hug and said “Darling it will take a couple of years before you have to worry about your breasts getting too big, but yes it does mean that they are starting to develop.”

I replied “Jenny's nipples are doing the same thing so we will both get our breasts together won't we?”

Mummy said, “I expect so sweetheart, that is what is supposed to happen to girls after all.”

“Can you buy me some trainer bras like the one you want me to wear under my bridesmaid gown?”

“Darling I will just check the dinner, and then I will show you what I have for you in my bedroom ok?”

We went to Mummy's bedroom and Rita followed us in and said, “Is that what you were doing at Mary's today Mum?”

“Yes Rita, and I bought you a couple of new ones as well but you can pay me back out of your wages on Friday.”

“Yeah, thanks Mum.”

I looked at about six bras on Mummy's bed and said, “Are they all for me?”

Mummy replied, “Well, I think they might be a little bit small for me so they must be for my little Carla mustn't they?”

“Ooh Mummy thank you! Can I try one on now?”

“Yes darling but don’t go to bed with it on will you.”

I put it on and it felt nice and I almost walked out of the room without putting my top back on and Rita said, “I can't remember getting that excited about my first bra.”

Mummy then said, “If we don’t go and see to the dinner the man of the house will be going down to the restaurant to get fed.” so we made our way back to the kitchen where Daddy was looking in the oven to see how long it would be before we could eat dinner, and he said, “Hello ladies. When do we eat? I'm hungry enough to eat a horse.”

Rita replied, while Daddy gave Mummy a kiss, “Dad, we don't eat horses in Australia.”

Daddy said, after he gave Mummy another kiss this time on the lips, “Well, I think there is a butcher in Melbourne that caters for some European immigrants that have a taste for horse flesh.”

I said, “How could anyone even think of eating their horse?”

Mummy replied, “Carla, it's true people in certain countries eat horse meat.”

“But Mummy that is no different than eating your own dog. These people are gross.”

Daddy said, “Donna do you think we should tell her?”

“Tell me what Daddy?”

Mummy said, “Never mind sweetheart, lets set the table so we can eat what I have cooked instead.”

We sat down and had our meal but it still bothered me that someone would eat their horse.

Daddy asked, “And how was your day at school Carla?”

“Oh it was ok I guess, but it was hard not being able to play tennis with Jenny because of my ankle, but I should be right to play next week.”

Rita said, “What about swimming in spring when the pool opens for the summer season. Does the school have swimming carnivals?”

“Yeah they do. Jenny was telling me about that today, so I will definitely be in the my class swimming team.”

Mummy said, “Right girls, clear the table and we can have the rice and custard pudding I brought home from the restaurant for desert.”

We didn't have to be told twice to clear the dinner plates away because it is Aunty Bella's rice pudding that she makes for the restaurant. After desert was over Rita and I helped clean up the kitchen. I decided to go to my room and write in my diary about how I am feeling. Daddy was watching some show on the telly and Mummy and Rita were looking through a dress pattern book because Rita is getting interested in doing some sewing again.

I wrote 'Dear diary, this is the first time I am writing anything in here and I don't really know what I should write about, but my gender doctor, Rose San -Lee has asked me to write down how I feel about things as I am taking 'girl pills' now. The only thing I have noticed is that I have got itchy nipples the same as my friend Jenny and she is a real girl so that must mean I am one too. I will say good night now and write some more tomorrow night. Oops I almost forgot it is Tuesday the thirtieth of June nineteen fifty nine.'

The next couple of days went by fairly quickly but on Friday our class was going for a little bus trip out about twenty miles to a spot that was a sacred aboriginal site, and seeing I knew more about the subject than our teacher Peter Taylor, I was very nervous when I asked him, “Do you have permission from the Aboriginal elder to visit the site because ''white fellas'' are not normally welcome at these sacred sites without permission?”

He replied, “We will be doing a detour to the reservation and be taking a member from the local tribe with us.”

I said, “I know a bit of the language that they speak because of me being friends with Alice. You wouldn't know that Alice has Aboriginal blood in her because she takes after her late father who had lily-white skin and was Irish.”

Not all the class went with us. There were about ten that went to have a look at some cattle being loaded on the livestock train which would take them to Rockhampton. So we had twenty students on the bus which our teacher also drove.

When we got to the reservation it was I that went and greeted the man that was one of the elders at the camp, and I spoke a few words that I had learnt from Alice to him. He was impressed and invited me to come back to his camp any time that I wanted to hear some Dreamtime stories. I must say the other kids were really impressed with me being able to communicate with this very old man in his own tongue, he could speak a very broken English so we mixed a few of the words that I could not say.

A younger man accompanied us to the sacred site so we had a lesson on bush tucker which I already knew about from my time with my Aboriginal mate on River Downs ,so this is nothing new to me. As I have said, I can go bush and stay there and survive as long as I wanted. I even knew how to find water to drink in dry creek bed. All you needed is a stick to dig with and know what to look for and hey presto you have water to drink.

Jenny is most impressed with me speaking to the elder and said, “Do you think Alice can see if we can both come out to the camp and listen to that old man tell us the Dreamtime stories?”

I replied, “Jenny, that old man has invited me to come to his camp any time I feel like it, so you can come with me but we will have to talk someone into driving us out here - it's too far to be riding our bikes.

Jenny said, “Leave that to me. Don’t forget I’m Daddy's little girl.” We both had to giggle at that.

Anyway the other kids listened to the man tell them all about being able to live off the land and the land is like your mother or father and will look after you, and he talked about the ''rainbow serpent'' which I will tell you about some other time because it was time to get on the bus and go home. On the way back to the school we sang 'Waltzing Matilda' and 'Click go the Shears.' We were soon back at the school to pick up our school bags and go home. Mummy was waiting for us at the main gate in Daddy’s car again, and this time I asked, “Mummy why are you driving Daddy’s car now?”

Mummy replied, “Daddy is using the Land Rover to carry the fuel pumping equipment to use at the aerodrome to refuel the aircraft that ask for it, so this is my car now.”

It was Friday, so Jenny was coming to stay the weekend with me again and Ricky was also coming over to watch some some football show with Peter and their dad Barry, ''the school principal.'' Rita was also taking Saturday afternoon off because she wanted to spend more time with Peter, probably to to do some more kissing in her room, ''rolling eyes''.

I thought to myself 'Why can Rita kiss Peter all she likes and I am not allowed to kiss Ricky? 'Snot fair'. And while I was thinking that, Jean had to put her two cents worth in and was in my mind clear and loud and said, “Sis, if we kiss Ricky he will want to do more than just kiss.”

I replied in full voice which made Jenny, who was sitting beside me on the bed jump, when I said, “What is this ''we'' business Jean?”

She replied, “Well if you remember back when you visited my grave before you left River Downs, you said that I will be living my life in your body and where you go I would be with you?”

I said, “Yes, but does that mean you share everything I do?”

“Yes Carla it does, so you had better get used to it, because you can never get me out of your mind. We are one soul and one spirit.” and then she said “I love you Sis” and then went quiet.

Jenny was getting all excited and said, “Next time can we try to do that together like we did last time Carla?”

I replied, “Well as long as we are somewhere that we won't be disturbed we can try but I think it takes a lot out of Jean to do that.”

Jenny said, “I heard your side of the conversation about kissing Ricky but what is the problem?”

“Jenny everything I do, Jean is there with me till the day I die.”

“Ooh don’t say die like that it scares me.”

“Well we only go to another dimension so we don't really stop existing. We will just live in the spirit world.”

Mummy came into my room and said, “You have been talking to Jean haven’t you Carla?”

I replied, “Yeah! but how on earth did you know that? You were out in the kitchen all the time when I was talking with her.”

Mummy replied, “Sweetheart, ever since you made the connection with me and Jean the last time, I can feel the vibrations in my chest when you two are communicating, and I think Rita does as well, although I don’t know if she quite knows that is what it is.”

Jenny said, “Wow, does it mean it will also effect me like that as well?”

Mummy said “We will have to talk to Rose about that, and Carla make sure you write all this in your diary as well. Ok you two, get yourselves all prettied up and don’t take all night about it or we will leave you at home.”

Jenny and I looked at each other and said at same time “Where are we going Mummy?”

'“Just get ready and you will find out.” and left the room shaking her head saying to herself, I'm sure they both called me Mummy then.' We looked at each other and said skirts and both fell about giggling and went to my wardrobe and pulled out two denim skirts and warm tops that matched the skirts. It was cold outside at night so we put on black tights. I gave Jenny a lend of one of my new bras so we both had some shape up top, and to make sure we put rolled up socks in the bra cups as well.

Rita came out of her bedroom all dolled up make-up and all, and said, “Go and sit down at the dressing table, you two and I will do your hair and put a tiny bit of make up on both of you.”

We still weren’t told where we were going but said 'yes' to the hair and make up. I wore my hair down. It was getting really long and Rita said she would have to take me to town in the next week and get it trimmed into some shape to make it easier for me to manage. She did Jenny's hair the same as mine and we both had pink barrettes in to hold it in place and when she finished that she said, “Ok now I can tell you where we are going tonight.”

She asked me what the date was, I had to think and said, “Oh my God!! How could I forget Mummy's birthday and why didn't she say something this morning?”

“Carla it's alright, I didn't remember either until Dad said something to me and I said the same thing, but he said Mummy just wanted to see if we would remember without being told.”

I said, “Rita, I feel just awful now.” and rushed out of the room in tears and straight into Mummy's bedroom and hugged her and said, “Mummy I’m so sorry that I didn't even remember your birthday.”

I had tears running down my face and was spoiling the little make up that Rita had put on my face.

Mummy said, “Look at you sweetheart, all your make up is ruined. You forget my birthday because there is so much happening in your own life at the moment.”

“But Mummy I have no present for you. You should have said something to me this morning on the way to school.”

“Yes I suppose I should have and that was mean of me, but I’ll make it up to you tonight alright?”

I replied “Where are we going?”

Mummy said, “We are only going to the restaurant but have closed it to the public just for tonight so we could invite all our new friends to my birthday party.”

Rita had to redo my make up and then we all got into the car and went to the restaurant. It was seven o'clock and there were about thirty people there including the Smith family so I was happy.

Tom Granger and his wife Margaret were also there. That's why I heard a helicopter earlier in the afternoon, and the guy that took us to Brisbane in his plane was also there, not the first one the last one. His name is Rodney Schultz. The party got under way. And Rita, Aunty Bella and Helen helped Alice and Linda get the meals to the tables. Ricky sat next to me and he introduced a boy our age or maybe a bit older and said, “Carla and Jenny this is my friend Billy Wilson and he is in the school choir and wanted to meet you and Jenny so I asked your Mum to invite him tonight.”

Billy is hot and very good looking, and Jenny couldn't keep her eyes of him.

I gave her dig in the ribs and whispered, “Jenny you are staring at him and close your mouth.”

She looked at me and whispered back “He is gorgeous!”

Billy then held out his hand for Jenny to shake and said, “Hello Jenny, I have seen you around in the playground and have never been game to come up and talk to you. It's nice to meet you.”

Jenny just whispered, “Yeah, me too.”

Ricky and I had to have a small laugh, but stopped when we realised that we were embarrassing them both. So it looks like we both have a boy friend now.

Tom Croft and Margaret came to talk with me and asked me how I am going at school and also how my gender thing is progressing and they both said how anyone could have ever thought I was a boy beggars belief. Then they went and talked with Mummy, Daddy, and Rodney and I was told later that Rodney and Tom had formed a company to have an air charter business in Quilpie. So it looks like any future trips to Brisbane will be made by air, which will cut the travelling time down to about two and a half hours.

Ricky, Jenny, Billy and I sat together for the rest of the evening and chatted about school and when summer comes and how we can all go swimming together.

Jenny and I went to the toilet together and she said, “Wow Carla, I can't seem to keep my eyes off Billy, he is hot!!”

“Yeah Jenny, I noticed, but you have to stop staring at him or he will get scared of you”. That put us into a fit of giggles till we got back out to where the boys were sitting and Ricky said, “What's so funny?”

Jenny said, “It's a girl thing Ricky, you wouldn't understand.”

Ricky replied, “Got that right.”

Helen came over to us and said, “Ricky and Billy we will be going in a few minutes so you had better say goodbye to the girls now ok?”

We went outside to where the cars are parked and I had a quick cuddle and a kiss with Ricky and there was that tremble in my chest again and Ricky jumped and said, “That sister of yours is a mighty fine kisser, Carla. Tell her thanks.”

Billy looked at Jenny and said, “What was that all about?”

Jenny said “We cant tell you yet but maybe one day.”

He gave Jenny a quick kiss on the cheek before Helen could catch us kissing, but I think she waited for a while to let us do it anyway. She knows how close me and Ricky are and trusts us not to go any further.

We went back into the restaurant and people were all helping to clean up the place so it would be open for business the next morning. It was getting late when we finally got home and Jenny and I hit the sack and went to sleep dreaming of kissing boys.

To be continued.

Next time: Going to see Brad's Mum and going fishing on the river and performing CPR to save a life.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

Helen came over to us and said, “Ricky and Billy, we will be going in a few minutes so you had better say goodbye to the girls now ok?”

We went outside to where the cars were parked and I had a quick cuddle and a kiss with Ricky and there was that tremble in my chest again, and Ricky jumped and said, “That sister of yours is a mighty fine kisser Carla, tell her thanks.”

Billy looked at Jenny and said, “What was that all about Jenny?”

She replied, “We can't tell you yet, but maybe one day.”

He gave Jenny a quick kiss on the cheek before Helen could catch us kissing, but I think she waited for a while to let us do it anyway. She knows how close me and Ricky are and trusts us not to go any further. We went back into the restaurant and people were all helping to clean up the place so it would be ready for business tomorrow morning. It was getting late when we finally got home Jenny and I hit the sack and went to sleep dreaming of kissing boys.

Saturday 3/7/59.

Jenny and I slept in till eight am which is unusual for us but it was a big day yesterday so we had to get our beauty sleep, we got up and ran to the bath room with our bare feet on the freezing floor boards because we left our slippers in the bath room last night. We quickly got the shower water running and got in under the warm water. We both needed to wash our hair because there were people that smoked cigars last night and our hair smelt of smoke.

Once we finished in the shower we realised that in our rush we didn't bring any clothes with us from the bedroom so it was a mad dash with a towel wrapped around us and a pair of slippers on our feet to get back to the bedroom.

Rita was just getting up and going to the the bathroom and said “Shit it's cold” and started to run to the bathroom door to close it before all the warm air escaped so she didn't have to freeze getting her clothes off to get into the shower.

It was so cold we decided to wear jeans and warm tops and jumpers with our wool lined flying boots. Jenny had almost as much of her clothes in my wardrobe as me but it didn't matter because we were both the same size and we just wore each others clothes except our knickers. Mine were pink and Jenny’s were yellow, we also put our bras back on and stuffed the socks back in the cups again.

Mummy saw us walking into the kitchen to make our breakfast and said, “Good morning girls, did you have a nice sleep in?”

We both said “Yes Mummy.” and then Jenny said, “Oops I mean Aunty Donna.”

Mummy replied, “That's alright Jenny darling, but you do have a mummy of your own you know!”

“Yes Aunty Donna, but you are my second mummy and I love you as much as my own Mummy.”

“Well you're welcome sweetheart, but make sure you tell her that you love too won't you?”

“Yes Aunty Donna I will.”

Just then Rita and Daddy came in and Rita said, “What’s for breakfast Mum?”

Mummy replied, “What ever you lot can find, I’m off to the shops to do some grocery shopping and 'bye.” and she was gone.

Daddy then said “Rita, can you make some porridge to warm us all up?”

Rita responded with, “Yeah that’d be right. What am I the slave around here?”

We all nodded and said “Yep.”

She then said, “Right, as long as you all clean up after, I will oblige but that's only because I have to have breakfast too.”

Daddy said, “Thanks luv. Next time I see Peter I’ll tell him you'll make a good wife.”

Rita replied “Yeah whatever” and started to make the porridge.

We had our breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen and went to clean up the bedroom and put the weekly washing on. Rita said she was going to do the ironing while Jenny and I did the vacuuming. We had two vacuum cleaners because one was Daddy's and the other one Mummy brought with us from River Downs so it didn't take us long to get it done.

When we were putting the cleaners away, Daddy came in where we were and said, “Here you are girls.” and handed each of us a ten shilling note and added “Just a bit of pocket money. You've both earned it.”

Jenny and I kissed Daddy on the cheeks at the same time and said, “Thanks Daddy.”

Daddy walked away and said to himself 'Did I just gain another daughter?' and shook his head and kept walking.

It was nearly ten o'clock when Mummy came back from doing the shopping and she yelled out to us to come and give her a hand to carry it all into the house. Once the groceries were all packed away and Mummy had a cup of tea she said, “We will go and see Brad's mum to see how she is getting on.”

After we had morning tea Mummy, Jenny and I got into Mummy’s car and she drove to the other side of town to where Mrs Blake lived. Mummy pulled up outside of an old dilapidated cottage with an overgrown garden. There was no car in the tin shed at the side of the house, so Brad's mum would have to walk to the shops in town to buy her groceries.

We got out of the car and made our way to the front porch of the house and knocked on the door. There was no answer and we knocked again but still no one answered the door.

Mummy said, “I hope she is alright. I think we should go around the back and see if she is in the back yard hanging out washing or something.”

We made our way through the high grass at the side of the house to find her asleep in an old squatter's chair. She must have gone out into the sun to get warm and fallen asleep in the chair. Mummy touched her gently on the shoulder and she jumped with a start.

Mummy said, “Sorry Mrs Blake, but we came to see if you were ok and to see if you needed a hand with anything now that you are all by yourself?”

Mrs Blake seemed to be a timid sort of person and almost looked frightened by our presence and she said, “What do you people want with me, haven’t you done enough already?”

Mummy replied, “Mrs Blake, my daughter didn't ask to be attacked by your out -of-control son. Carla was not responsible for your husband's gambling with my ex-husband, and he had no right to hurt Carla the way he did. That is why he is now in a boys' home to try to sort his anger problems out.”

Mrs Blake now had tears running down her cheeks and said, “Carla, I’m sorry Bradley hurt you, but ever since his father left he's been uncontrollable and he even started hitting me. But the part I don’t understand is why he thought you were a boy?”

I decide to play dumb, {which I must admit isn't too hard for me), and replied, “I don't know either. Do you think I look like a boy?”

She replied in a shaky kind of voice, “All I can see is a pretty little girl, so where he got the idea from that you were ever a boy is beyond me.”

Mummy then said, “That would have been my ex-husband doing some shit stirring to your husband and Brad took it the wrong way.”

'Well' I thought 'that was half true anyway.'

Mummy then went on and said, “We have come to see if we could help in any way to make life a little bit easier for you.”

Mrs Blake said, “Well, when that no-good husband of mine took off, he took the car and that has left me pretty isolated and it makes it hard to get about because I have a bad hip which I broke in a fall a couple of years ago. It has never healed up properly, so it is hard for me to walk any long distance, and I can't afford a taxi fare because I am on a disability pension.”

Jenny said, “Aunty Donna, what if Carla and I ride our bikes over here once a week and get Mrs Blake to give us her shopping list? We could do the shopping for her and you could bring it back here with your car one afternoon a week.”

Mummy looked at Mrs Blake and said, “How does that sound Mrs Blake?

Mrs Blake said, “Call me Jane, and that sounds really helpful. If the girls are willing to do that, it would make things much easier for me.

“Donna, call me Donna” Mummy said.

“Thanks Donna. I must admit Brad wasn't much help but he did do the shopping for me, but I think he also stole a lot of the shopping money. Maybe where he is now will straighten him out.”

Mummy said, “I wouldn't hold my breath on that one.”

Anyway Mummy went to the shops before they closed at midday because it was Saturday. Jenny and I stayed and cleaned up inside the house and put a load of washing on and generally tidied up around the place. When Mummy came back we put all the groceries away and said we would be back next Saturday to do the same.

We went back home and it was lunch time. Daddy had been to the restaurant with Rita and brought back left-over food from last night, so lunch was an easy fix. Daddy's small dingy was out of the shed and it looked like he was going to go fishing the on Bulloo River later today. It was winter fishing season and the river was full of yellow belly which is an Australian fresh water Bass.

Daddy said, “Girls, do you fancy going fishing with me this afternoon?”

Jenny and I both looked at each other and nodded.

Daddy said, “What does that mean?”

“It means 'yes' Daddy, but we wont stay after dark will we?”

“No sweetheart, we want to use our catch for dinner tonight.

Rita was not into fishing so she and Mummy were going to do some sewing to make some new dresses for when summer came. I could sew now too, and would start making some for myself with a little help from Rita. I wanted to make some nice summer dresses because they are really girly and I think Ricky would like me wearing them as well.

Anyway we helped Daddy hook up the boat to the Land-rover and got the smelly worms out of the freezer so that they would be defrosted by the time we had to put them on the hook.

Daddy drove down to the river where the boat ramp is and asked Jenny and I to get out and give him a guide so he doesn’t go too far back with the Land-rover.

I said, “Stop! The back of the boat is touching the water Daddy.”

He got out and undid the straps that hold the boat on the trailer and the boat slipped into the water. Jenny and I held the rope that is attached to the front of the dingy. All the fishing gear was already in the boat so Daddy drove the car and trailer up and away from the ramp because there was another man and his son wanting to use the ramp after us.

The three of us climbed in and and pushed ourselves out away from the ramp.

Daddy said, “Ok girls, sit down and I will start the outboard and we'll be on our way.”

We didn't go very far and Daddy threw out and anchor when we were about mid stream because there was a little bit of a run in the water.

We used hand lines and not rods because if you fish with a hand line you can feel the fish take the bait more easily than with a rod and reel.

Daddy said, “This is the spot where I usually sit so I can still see the car and trailer in the distance, because there are some little shit-heads that will vandalise the cars given half a chance if they cant see any one about to catch them at it.”

I said, “We should have brought Ginger and left her with the the car.”

Daddy replied, “Yeah, I guess.”

Anyway we all baited our lines with the smelly worms and dropped the line in over the side of the boat. Nothing happened and Daddy said “We'll give it two hours and if we don’t catch anything by then there is probably still too much dirty water from the last run off.”

Well, it wasn't long when I got my first tug on the line, but I fought the urge to pull on the line because the yellow belly has a real soft mouth and you have to wait to let the fish take the bait down into its gullet before you can pull and hook the fish. I waited and very gently gave the line a slight tug and I had hooked the first fish of the day.

Daddy said, “Shit Carla, it's my job to show you how it's done not the other way around!”

Jenny started to giggle because she also has a fish on the line and I said, “Jenny be gentle or you will lose it.”

Daddy said, “Who taught you to catch fish like that Carla?”

I replied, “An aboriginal worker on River Downs Daddy. I spent a lot of time with him. He is the one that taught me how to survive in the bush.”

I started to pull my catch up and and asked Daddy to get the landing net ready to put under the fish so I wouldn't pull the hook out of its mouth when I lifted it out of the water and lose it.

Daddy said, “Yes ma'am.”

I got my fish in the boat and then helped Jenny land hers. She had caught a really big one and had trouble pulling it up so I had to give her a hand with the line. It was twice the size as mine and would have weighed at least two pounds.

Daddy said, “Bloody hell kids what is this, bush week and I'm the sucker?”

Just then he had a big tug on the line and he played the fish like I did only slower and he said to me, “Ok smarty pants! Get the landing net and I will put you both to shame with this one.” I got the shock of my life when he pulled up a Murray cod which would be at least a five pound fish. It took myself and Jenny to handle the net and get this monster before he could shake himself off the line.

Daddy said, “Right girls, that's two hours and we have our fish for dinner, so we will leave the rest in the river for next time.”

Daddy was pulling the anchor up when we heard someone yelling “Help me! Help me!”

Daddy looked around to see the boat that came into the river after us and was about five hundred yards up-stream from where we were, and the young boy was waving his hands in the air with his hat to attract our attention.

Daddy said, “Where is his Dad? I can't see his dad. Carla, Jenny, you two get this anchor in and sit down and hang on, I don't want either of you falling out of the boat.”

We hung on and when we got closer we could see the boy's Dad laying on the floor of the boat. Daddy pulled the two boats together and got a rope and tied them together so we wouldn't start drifting apart.

The boy was frantic and said, “Don’t let him die. Please help him!”

Daddy asked the boy what happened and the boy said, “Pain in his arm and then he collapsed.”

I said Daddy, “I was taught to do CPR on River Downs.” I almost yelled at Jenny to give me a hand and get in the other boat.

I said, “Jenny,' I want you to push down on his chest and say one thousand' and push again until I tell you to stop. Hurry!!”

I then made sure that there was nothing in the man's mouth or throat and held his nose closed and started to blow air into his lungs while Jenny kept up the chest compressions. I felt Jean give me some sort of strange energy which made me feel a lot stronger than I really am, and she was in my mind saying, “Sis, you have to save this man. He will be in our future.”

Daddy kept the boy quiet so he wouldn't get in the way. The man started to breath after a couple of minutes and I asked Daddy to help me roll him on his side so he wouldn't swallow his tongue.

Daddy said, “Wow Carla, I think you just save this man's life.”

I replied, “Daddy, he needs to get to a hospital or he could still die.”

Daddy then asked the boy if he knew how to drive a boat and the boy replied, “Yes”, Daddy then untied the two boats and pulled up the anchor on the man's boat and started up the two outboards and we headed to the boat ramp.

When we got there Daddy told the boy to hang on to the two boats and stop them from drifting away, and he ran to the car and undid the boat trailer and drove off to the nearest public phone box to call for an ambulance. We heard the siren of an ambulance before Daddy even got back to where we were.

By this time the boy was in tears and and was trying to talk to his Dad but I said, “Don't try to make him talk. He just needs to breathe and nothing else ok?”
He just nodded his head and held his Dad's hand and looked like he was praying. The ambulance arrived with two people which wasn't normal for out here on a weekend so the guy must have picked up his mate on the way.

They both jumped out of the ambulance and asked me a heap of questions about what I did with him and then we got him out of the boat and on to an ambulance stretcher and into the back of the ambulance.

The boy said to Daddy, “What about the car and boat mister?”

Daddy replied, “Get the keys out of your Dad's pocket and I will look after that for now.”

The ambulance men knew Daddy, so there was no need for the boy to worry about where the car and boat would be taken. The ambulance took off but did not put on the siren because I guess there is not a lot of traffic in town on a Saturday afternoon. When I asked Daddy why they weren’t using the siren he explained that it causes the patient more stress to have it going.

After our boat was pulled up on to the trailer and secured, Daddy said, “You girls wait here while I take our car and boat back home and pick Tony up to drive me back here to collect the other car and boat.”

We had to secure the mans dingy at the ramp so it wouldn't drift off and while we were doing that we discovered they had quite a nice catch of fish in a bucket in the boat, so we decided to gut and clean the fish before Daddy came back with Uncle Tony. Jenny wasn't too keen on gutting the fish but I learned to do it on River Downs and was quite good at doing it. Once I had cleaned the fish, I washed all the gear in the river and stowed it back in the boat. The fish I put in the washed out bucket and I would put their catch in the freezer when we got home so they could enjoy their fish later sometime.

I said to Jenny, “I hope that man is going to be ok.”

Jenny said, “Well I think you probably saved his life Carla, you were amazing!”

I replied, “But it took the two of us to do the CPR so you are just as responsible for saving him.”

Jenny said, “Yeah, I guess so.”

It wasn't long before Daddy and Uncle Tony were there and they got the second boat out of the water and put it on the trailer. I told Daddy what I had done with the fish, and he said, “Carla you are not just a pretty face are you? First you go and save a man's life and the you even clean his fish for him.”

I replied, “Jenny is a pretty face too Daddy, she helped me as well.”

Uncle Tony said, “And what was your Daddy doing to help?” with a grin on his face.

Daddy said, “Yey!! Watch it Bagla, someone had to supervise the whole operation.”

Uncle Tony then said “You girls can come fishing with me any time you like.”

Anyway Tony got in his car and went home and we did the same.

When we arrived home I said, “Daddy, Jenny and I will get the fish cleaned so Mummy can get dinner under way”

Daddy replied, “Carla, I saw the fish you cleaned and filleted in the bucket. That's a better job than I could do. I'll leave you to it and clean up the boats.”

Rita and Mummy came out to collect the fish so they could go in the oven to be baked and also put the other lot in the freezer for when the guy in hospital recovered.

Mummy said, “Carla the hospital rang and said Mr Jackson is doing ok and his wife is at the hospital and will come to see you and bring young Kenny with her to thank you for what you did.”

Daddy finished cleaning the boats and put them and the cars in his shed and came out and said to Mummy, “Donna you have got an incredible daughter. You should have seen her in action. She saved that man's life!”

I said Daddy, “I got help from Jenny and Jean so it's not all down to me.”

Rita came and gave Jenny and I a hug and said, “My two heroes, I love you both.”

After that we all went in inside. While dinner was being prepared, Jenny and I went and had a shower to get rid of the fishy smell we both had from the day's fishing.

It was about seven o'clock when we heard a car pull up outside and Daddy said, “That will probably be Mrs Jackson to pick up their car.”

We all went outside and saw the police car and Jim the Sargent got out and said, “Ok where is our little hero?”

I replied, “Two heroines.” Jenny and I were holding hands when the lady and the boy got out of the police car and the lady had tears in her eyes when she knelt down and hugged us and just said, “Thank you girls. You have save my husband's life.”

Jenny and I said at the same time, “You're welcome.”

We all went inside and Jim the Sargeant asked Daddy to explain what had occurred on the river. Kenny the boy was apparently still too upset to give a proper account of what happened.

An hour later we gave Mrs Jackson the fish out of the freezer and she got her car out of Daddy's shed but left the boat and trailer there because she isn't used to towing anything be hind the car. She thanked us again and said she would come back tomorrow to take us to see her husband if that was alright with Mummy.

Mummy replied, “That is not a problem.”

Jenny and I talked till late into the night and even communicated with Jean before we drifted of to sleep.

To be continued.

Next time: Meeting the man that Jenny and I saved, and back to school with the choir

Please leave a comment.

Previously

It was about seven o'clock when we heard a car pull up outside and Daddy said, “That will probably be Mrs Jackson to pick up their car.”

We all went outside and saw the police car and Jim the Sergeant get out and said, “Ok, where is our little hero?”

I replied “Two heroines.”

Jenny and I were holding hands when the lady and the boy got out of the police car and the lady had tears in her eyes when she knelt down and hugged us and just said, “Thank you girls, you have saved my husband's life.”

Jenny and I said at the same time “You're welcome.”

We all went inside and the Sergeant asked Daddy to explain what had occurred on the river. Kenny the boy was apparently still to upset to give a proper account of what happened.

An hour later we gave Mrs Jackson the fish out of the freezer and she got her car out of Daddy's shed but left the boat and trailer there because she isn't used to towing anything behind the car.

She thanked us again and said she would come back tomorrow and take us to see her husband if that was alright with Mummy.

Mummy replied, “That is not a problem.”

Jenny and I talked till late into the night and even communicated with Jean before we drifted off to sleep.

Sunday4/7/59.

It was six am and it was very cold, so Jenny and I were cuddled up really close. Jenny stayed at my place most weekends now. Anyway, as I was saying it was too cold to get up out of bed yet and we decide to have another go at talking with Jean this morning.

I said to Jenny, “Don't go back to sleep, but keep your eyes closed and hold one of my hands.”

She complied, closed her eyes and held my hand and said, “Ok now what?”

“Just concentrate on how you saw Jean last time, and she will appear but don’t let go of my hand or the connection will be lost.”

She replied, “Ok.”

I then said, “Jean please show yourself to to Jenny as well.”

Jean's spirit image was there on the bed and she said “Jenny! you will only see me while you have contact with Carla and have your eyes closed I cannot keep contact if you open your eyes.”

Jenny said, full voice, “Jean I can see you and hear you. You are just as pretty as Carla.”

“Jenny, we are of the same spirit and soul. We can not be separated, and even when Carla passes over to this side we will still be joined.”

I interrupted their little chat and said, “Jean you helped me with that man and said that he will be in our future, what did you mean by that?”

“Carla, you will find out in good time but I must let you live your own life, but I will be there to help you always.”

I was not going to let her get away with that and said, “Jean, please give me some sort of clue or I will get angry with you.”

Jean then said “Carla, I can only tell you that the boy is like you. Now I am getting weak so I will say bye for know.” and she blew me and Jenny a kiss and slowly faded away. Jenny wouldn’t stop holding my hand in case Jean might reappear; but I said, “Jenny, you can let go of my hand now. Jean wont be able to come back till she gets her strength back, but she is getting stronger every time I talk to her.”

Jenny finally let go of my hand and she let out a squeal when she saw Mummy standing at the bedroom door which is always left open at night so Ginger can come in if she wants to.

I knew Mummy was there because I saw her before Jenny opened her eyes.

Mummy said, “Do you realise Carla, that I could see and hear Jean as well?”

I said, “Mummy, I thought I had to be touching you for it to work.”

Mummy replied, “I knew you were communicating with your twin because I get the trembles in the chest when ever you two connect, and Carla sweetheart, I heard what Jean said about that boy but you must not force her to tell you things.”

“But Mummy I need to know everything.”

Jenny giggled and said, “Yes Aunty Donna, we need to know everything.”

Mummy said, “Well, we might find out a bit more later today when Mrs Jackson comes to take you two to see Mr Jackson at the hospital won't we?”

I replied, “The boy Kenny will be there I guess.”

“Carla and Jenny, I know you like to know everything about all things but you mustn't go asking that boy any personal questions do you understand?”

We both said, “Yes Mummy.”

Jenny said, “Oops sorry Aunty Donna.”

Mummy said, “I should hope so” with a grin on her face.

Rita came into the room and said, “What's all the noise about this early in the day? I felt that thing in my chest so I suppose you have been talking to our little sister haven’t you?”

Mummy said “Yes Rita, it's too cold to be standing here, so lets all go into the warm kitchen and I will make us some porridge for breakfast.

The kitchen is always warm because of the combustion stove which never goes out. We set the table for breakfast while Mummy made the porridge.

Daddy walked into the kitchen scratching his head and said, “Morning ladies, what's the occasion?”

Mummy said, “Morning darling, no occasion, just having breakfast to get warm.”

Daddy gave Mummy a kiss and sat down at the table and waited for the porridge to to be served. He said, “What was all the talking in your bedroom about Carla?”

“Jean Daddy!! She is getting stronger, and we can talk normally. As long as we keep our eyes closed we can see her.”

Daddy said, “That reminds me, Jim Ryan rang me on Friday and wants you to make an appointment to go and see him in the couple of days. He mentioned Rose so I suppose it has something to do with her twin project.”

I said, “Daddy I’m not a project.”

“Sorry darling. You're right, I should have said study.”

Rita said, “Dad that makes it tomorrow.”

He replied, “It makes what tomorrow?”

“The appointment, what else?”

“Oh shit you're right. Sorry Carla, my brain doesn't work too well in winter.”

Mummy said, “Don’t worry I'll ring first thing in the morning.”

Daddy said, “Right, are we all going to church this morning?”

We all chorused and said “Yes.”

Mummy said, “Bill darling, you don't have to go to the Lutheran church if you want go to the service at your church.”

Daddy replied, “I belong with my family so it's the Lutheran church that I belong to now and besides God is everywhere.”

I said, “What about Father Brian? He is a good mate of yours, wont he be upset?”

Daddy replied, “I think Brian is gong to leave the church and take up his profession in law, so he wont care what I do.”

Anyway, Daddy went to get dressed and put on his new second hand suit. Mummy and Rita cleaned up the kitchen and Jenny and I were chased to my room to get ourselves ready for church. Jeans didn't cut the grade for church so we went through the wardrobe a couple of times before we came up with the winning combination. We both chose to wear long winter skirts and woollen tops with long sleeves, but didn't want spoil the look of us having breasts by putting on a coat to hide our new shape, even if it was all socks in the cups.

Mummy said, “Girls it is quite cold today shouldn't you be wearing a coat?”

Rita said, “Mum I think they want to impress the boys in the choir that they are older than they really are.”

Mummy said, “Ok, but I want you both to take coats anyway ok?”

“Yes Mummy” rolling our eyes.

“Stop that two Mummy bit you two, you will get me into trouble with Jenny's Mum.”

We said “Sorry” in unison.

Mummy shook her head and said, “Well we can always adopt Jenny, she is almost part of the family anyway.” and then said, “just kidding Jenny.”

Jenny said, “Aunty Donna, I still think of you as my second Mummy.”

Mummy replied, “Alright, I guess I can cope with that”

Daddy said, “Are we all done adopting kids? If we are lets get going.”

All us ladies said, “Yes sir.”

We were just walking down the front steps when Jenny's Mum and Dad drove into the driveway and Jenny's Mum got out of the car and said “Jenny darling we have to go to to Charleville to catch a flight to Brisbane and then a connecting flight to Sydney. Your Gran is in hospital and is very ill so we will be gone for a few days.”

“Donna, I hate to ask you to do this, but could Jenny stay with you for a little while? You are like a second Mum to her and she loves being with Carla. I’m sure she wont be any trouble.”

Mummy replied, “Jan, Jenny is welcome to stay as long as you need her to and she has never been any trouble. But you had better give me a key to be able to get her school uniform and and all her other school things she will need.”

Jenny's mum handed their house keys to Mummy, and gave Jenny a hug, and her Dad got out of the car to do the same, and her Dad said, “We heard about what happened down at the river yesterday and are very proud of you Jenny.”

Then he hugged her and said, “You be a good girl while we're away sweetheart, and we'll be back as soon as we can.”

Jenny said. “I hope Gran will be ok. Please give me a ring when you get to Sydney and let me know how she is.”

“We will darling.” they replied and got into their car and drove off.

Daddy said “Ok you lot, if we don't get in the car now we will be late for church and we don't want to be walking in after the service has begun do we ladies!!!”

We all replied, “No, yes sir!!” and got in the car with Daddy saying something about understanding women or something that sounded like that.

I sort of missed seeing Ricky at church but there is not a lot that could be done about that and anyway I could always see him at school and at the park.

Jenny and I walked into the church holding hands and someone said to Mummy, “Your two younger daughters are in the church choir aren’t they?”

Mummy replied” “Yes they are, but only one is my daughter. The other one might as well be, for she and Carla are like two peas in a pod.”

The lady said, “My name is June Frost and I am the choir singing teacher amongst other things in the church. After the service I would like to see where these girls will fit into the choir and organise some singing lessons to help them along.”

Mummy replied, “Sure, but they both have an appointment to see someone at the hospital later so they can't stay to long.

Miss Frost said, “Ok, I will make it as short as possible.”

After the service Jenny said “Gee Carla, I like the singing much better in this church than the Catholic one.”

When we got home from church it was ten thirty and we all needed to have some morning tea. There was morning tea at the church but Mummy said we had better come home in case Mrs Jackson arrived while we were out. Mummy had made some cream buns yesterday so we got them and went and sat out in the warm winter sun in the backyard garden.

Ginger was pestering me and Jenny to throw the ball for her game of throw and fetch so we took turns in throwing the ball to her to keep her happy. Fluffy just sleeps all the time! What a life!! Goldie is now living back with Uncle Tony and Aunty Bella, since Uncle Tony built her a nice big kennel, but she still wanders down the road to see us every couple of days.

We had just finished our buns when Mrs Jackson and her son turned up to take Jenny and I to visit her husband in the hospital. As they got out of the car and were walking to us Jenny whispered “He does look a bit girly doesn’t he?”

I replied “I wonder if he is just like me, a girl with a plumbing problem.”

Mummy said, “Shush girls and behave.”

“Yes Mummy!!”

Mrs Jackson said, “Hello everyone. Would it be ok to take the girls to see David at the hospital? Apparently he has been asking to see the little girls that got him breathing again on Friday afternoon.”

Mummy said, “That will be fine, would you like me to pick them back up once they are finished visiting?”

She replied rather nervously “No if you don't mind I would like a word with you about something when I bring them back.”

“That'll be ok. Take your time we aren’t going anywhere.”

We got in the car's back seat and said, “Hi” to Kenny and he shyly said “Hello.” in an almost girly way. 'I should talk'.

Anyway I said, “How is your husband Mrs Jackson?”

She replied, “He is recovering quite well, but is not going to be able to go back to work for quite a while I would imagine.”

We arrived at the hospital and walked across the car park to the main entrance of the hospital and as we entered the building I thought 'Wow this whole hospital would fit into the Mater in Brisbane about fifty times'. Anyway a nurse was just walking towards us and asked us to follow her to where they had Mr Jackson in a private room. It was only a small hospital and there were only three private rooms. He was in the one closest to the where the nurses could keep him under observation.

The nurse said, “I’m Christine and I am looking after Mr Jackson so if you have any questions just ask me.”

We nodded, and went into the room where Mr Jackson was all propped up with pillows. He looked ok for a man who had a heart attack a couple of days ago.

There were enough chairs for us all to sit down, but Jenny and myself went to grab a hand each and we both said “Hello” at the same time.

He responded by saying, “Carla and Jennifer, you two are my angels that stopped me from leaving this planet.” He had tears running down his cheeks when he said that.

The nurse was standing at the door and said, “You can hug him if you want, he is out of danger but don’t get him to excited.”

Jenny and I gave Mr Jackson a quick hug and stepped back so his wife and son could do the same. Mrs Jackson sat back down on one of the chairs but Kenny his son sat on the bed and held his fathers hand and said, “I love you Daddy.” now I’m guessing but I think he is a bit older than me and I thought that only girls called their father Daddy.

Mr Jackson said, “Kenny, you have these two pretty angels to thank for me still being here, but your Mummy tells me you were brave as well and helped bring the boat back to the boat ramp.”

The boy replied in a very girly way, “Daddy, I don’t know what I would have done if these two girls and their Daddy hadn't come to help.”

Mrs Jackson looked to be a bit embarrassed at how her son was talking as if he were a girl. She got up and and said, “It looks like your getting tired David so we might go and leave you in peace.”

He replied, “Yes it has all been a bit of a shock, but before you go what about the boat?”

“Don’t worry Daddy” said Kenny, “It is quite safe at Mr Croft's place and we can get it when you are out of hospital.”

Mrs Jackson gave her husband a kiss and so did Kenny and we all said goodbye and left Mr Jackson to go to sleep.

By the time Mrs Jackson got us back home it was close to lunch time and as we got out of the car Mummy was walking towards us and said, “Good. Lunch will be ready in about half an hour. I hope you you and Kenny will stay Jane.”

She replied, “Well thanks, yes, and that will give me a chance to talk to you about another matter.”

We all went inside and Daddy and Uncle Tony were in the lounge watching something about football on the telly. Mrs Jackson went with Mummy into the kitchen to talk about something. Rita was at the Smith house for the rest of the day, to kiss Peter no doubt.

So Jenny and I said to Kenny, “Come with us to our room and we can get to know each other better.”

Kenny just nodded and followed me and Jenny not saying anything. We got to our room and all three sat down on my big double bed. Jenny looked at me and nodded. I think she wanted me to start the conversation. I took that as a signal that she was thinking the same thing as me about Kenny.

I didn't beat around the bush and came straight out with, “Kenny is there something you need to tell us about your self?”

Kenny looked at me and he had tears forming in his eyes and he said, “You know don’t you?”

I replied, “Kenny, it's ok. You can trust me and Jenny.” He was starting to sob and I put my arm around him and said, “Kenny, you can't hide who you are from someone like me.”

In between sobs and the hiccups he he replied, “Carla, I have heard about you and people reckon you were a boy when you were born and are now a girl.”

Jenny butted in and said, “Always a girl Kenny, she was always a girl.”

Kenny was a bit calmer now and said, “I am a girl too but I have a penis.” and he stood up and pulled down his trousers and he had a pair of pink panties on and pulled them down as well. Jenny and I just stared at his or ''her'' crotch and there was an even smaller penis in his crotch than mine, and I couldn't see any scrotum, so he must be intersexed like me.

Jenny said, “Carla, that looks just the same as you only smaller.”

Kenny pulled his clothes back up and sat back down on the bed beside me and just stared at the floor and said, “I have been to Doctor Ryan and he wants me to go to Brisbane and a see a doctor San—lee to do some tests to see what my condition is.”

At this stage I thought I had better tell him all about myself and support him so he didn't have to suffer all alone. Once I told him everything he started to relax and opened up to both me and Jenny and he told us about how he always knew that there was something wrong with him and that not long ago he went to Father Brian and told him that he felt like a girl. Farther Brian rang Doctor Ryan the same day and and also spoke to his mother and told them he would support them in whatever they decided to do. Good old father Brian, he is such a nice man. I explained about what I was going through and that I will be having surgery to rectify my genitals and he would probably have to go through the same process.

Jenny said, “Kenny, what is your girl name?”

He looked at us and said, “Mummy said she would have called me Christine if she had a girl.”

I replied, “Well Christine, you are a girl as far as I can tell.”

Just then Mummy knocked on the door and said, “Ok girls lunch is ready.”

Kenny looked at us and said, “She just said girls.”

Jenny said, “It looks like the two mummies have been talking doesn't it Christine?”

We all stood up and had a group hug and went to the kitchen and through to the dining room.

Mummy winked at me and said, “Did you have a nice talk girls?”

It was hard to think of Christine as Kenny now that we knew what was really going on, so I just said, “Yes Mummy, all explained.” Both mothers nodded and smiled and we sat down to eat lunch.

Daddy said, “ What was the pow wow all about Donna?”

Mummy replied, “Tell you later ok?”

After lunch we all went outside to say goodbye to Mrs Jackson and her daughter. I thought to myself 'I am going to make sure that I will be there for her and help in anyway that I can.'

A bit later I asked Mummy about why my chest was so itchy, and she said, “Carla I think that is what Doctor Ryan wants to see you about, so we will find out tomorrow just how far down the track you are to have a normal girl puberty, and I don't think it is only about breast growth either, so be prepared to go for another round of tests in Brisbane before too long ok?”

“What do you mean Mummy?”

Jenny was listening and said, “Periods silly.”

“Oh but I haven't had any surgery for that to happen.”

Mummy said, “Don't panic Carla, we will find out more tomorrow and if you have to have some kind of surgery to let you have your periods then that will be done too.”

Jenny and I spent the rest of the afternoon doing our home work and taking Ginger for a walk down to the park. After dinner we watched a movie and went to bed and talked about Christine and how we could be there for her and help. We went to sleep in a tight cuddle and we both could feel Jean as we drifted into dreamland.

To be continued

Next time: Doctor Ryan, Brisbane and and what the tests show about my progress.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

Daddy said, “What was the pow wow all about Donna?”

Mummy replied, “Tell you later ok ?”

After lunch we all went outside to say goodbye to Mrs Jackson and her daughter. I thought to myself 'I am going to make sure that I will be there for her and help in anyway that I can.'

A bit later I asked Mummy about why my chest was so itchy, and she said, “Carla I think that is what doctor Ryan wants to see you about, so we will find out tomorrow just how far down the track you are to have a normal girl puberty, and I don't think it is only about breast growth either so be prepared to go for another round of tests in Brisbane before too long ok?”

“What do you mean Mummy?”

Jenny was listening and said, “Periods silly.”

“Oh but I haven't had any surgery for that to happen.”

Mummy said, “Don't panic Carla, we will find out more tomorrow and if you have to have some kind of surgery to let you have your periods then that will be done as well.”

Jenny and I spent the rest of the afternoon doing our home work and taking Ginger for a walk down to the park. After dinner we watched a movie and went to bed and talked about Christine and how we could be there for her and help. We went to sleep in a tight cuddle and we both could feel Jean as we drifted into dreamland.

Monday 5/7/59

Mummy came into the bedroom and said, “Wake up sleepy heads, time to have a shower and get ready for another week at school.”

Jenny said “Aunty Donna what about my school uniform?”

Mummy replied, “What about it?”

Jenny started to panic and said. “I will have to go home and get it won't I?”

Mummy replied “Jenny, settle down girl. I went to your house last night and brought back all the clothes that you will need for the next week so stop worrying will you?”

“Yes Aunty Donna, sorry, I'm a bit worried about Gran, I hope she is ok.”

Mummy replied, “I’m sure that your parents will ring and let you know how she is.”

We were all ready to go to school when the phone rang.

Mummy went to the office to answer it and we heard her say, “Yes Jim, he did pass on the message but it was a day late and I was just about to take the girls to school and I was going to drop in on the way home to have a chat about what happened over the weekend.”

She hung up and came out of the office and said, “I guess you heard that?”

I said, “Mummy, why does he want to see me so urgently?”

She replied, “I don't know darling but I will drop Jenny off at school and will take you to see him straight away.”

Jenny came and hugged me and said, “It must be about the hormones you are taking and the way your nipples are sore and itchy all the time, just like mine.”

Mummy said, “Come on girls, we have to get a move on.”

We arrived at the school and our friends were there to greet us, all excited about what had happened over the weekend and started asking me and Jenny how we knew how to save someone that had a heart attack.

Mummy got out of the car and gave Jenny a hug and said, “Kids, the questions will have to wait till later, Carla has an appointment with the doctor.”

Jenny waved me goodbye and was mobbed by our friends as we drove away to the doctor's surgery.

On the way I was getting quite edgy and I said “Mummy, will I have to be cut open?”

“Carla sweetheart, lets just wait to see what Doctor Ryan has to say.”

We arrived at the surgery and I could feel Jean wanting to communicate with me., so I said to Mummy, “Jean is wanting to talk with me what will I do?”

“Well I think Doctor Ryan is about to see you and Jean in action.”

We walked into Doc Ryan’s surgery and Mummy said, “Jim you are about to see two twins communicating between two worlds.”

The doctor said,”Ok Carla what do you want me to do?”

I said, “You will only hear my side of the conversation but if I hold onto Mummy's hand she can listen in.”

Mummy said, “Jim, if you want to record this on tape for Rose you had better turn on your tape recorder.” I got comfortable on the Doctors couch and let Mummy sit next to me and hold my hand.

Doctor Ryan turned on his recorder and said, “Ready when you are ladies.”

I said. “Please turn of the light to darken the room.”

I closed my eyes and so did Mummy so she got the full version of me and Jean talking to each other. It seemed as if Jean was sitting in a chair opposite me and Jean said, “Hello Carla, can you see and hear me now?”

I replied, “Sis you look as though you are sitting in the chair opposite me.”

Jean giggled,”Well I am, as long as you don't open your eyes I can keep the contact between us going, I am also learning things just like you are in school sis.”

Mummy said, “Jean I can see and hear you as clear as a bell, darling you are so pretty, but why are you doing this today?”

Jean responded with, “Mummy, you have to take Carla to Doctor Rose, Carla is going to need surgery.”

I said, “Jean, my puberty is that what it is?”

Jean replied, “Carla do it.”

Mummy said, “When?”

Jean was starting to fade and she said, “Getting weak 'bye.” and she was gone.

Mummy was shaking and Doctor Ryan said, “Donna, I will give you something to make you relax.” and he went to a cupboard and got some pills out of a bottle and gave Mummy two and a glass of water.

It took Mummy a few minutes to calm down, and when she did she said, “Jim did you get what was being said?”

Jim replied, “Donna I got all your side of the conversation and I was amazed when there seemed to be some kind of a mist around you and Carla, and then it just disappeared and you stopped talking and got the shakes.”

He then said, “I wish I had the camera ready when that happened, I have never seen anything like that before.”

Mummy was getting impatient with the Doctor and said, “Jim why are we here this morning.”

“Calm down Donna, I got a phone call from Rose and she is concerned about Carla heading straight into puberty with all the hormones she is taking and she thinks that her little ovaries will start to work overtime, and Carla will have her first period before she has had any surgery.”

“That is what Jean is trying to tell us Jim, she must know what is going to happen and warn us.”

Doc Ryan just shook his head and said, “This is amazing!! I would never have believed it if I hadn't experienced with my own eyes. It is exciting stuff , I can't wait to tell Rose about what has happened here this morning.”

Mummy said, “Well Jim there's no time like the present is there?”

“Oh of course Donna. Carla I’m sorry, I just can’t believe after all these years in practice what I saw and heard this morning.”

Mummy said, “The phone call JIM!!”

He picked up the phone and dialed the number for the exchange to get him a trunk line to Brisbane.

He said, “Thanks Brenda” who is the lady at the telephone exchange and then dialed the number of Doc Rose in Brisbane.

A few rings and Doc Ryan said, “G'day Rose, it's Jim Ryan, and I have Carla Croft and her Mum with me and we have just been told by Carla's twin sister to get Carla down to you to sort out her little problem post haste. Yes that's right, that is what I said. Yes, all on Tape recorder. Yes Rose tomorrow, I'll be coming too. Donna she wants to talk to you.”

“Hello Rose,yes that's right. Yes we can, see you tomorrow, 'bye.”

I said, “Am I going to Brisbane tomorrow Mummy?”

“It looks like it sweetheart.” After Mummy had a discussion with the doc about sorting out how we will be getting down to Brisbane at such short notice we left and went home.

As soon as we got into the house Mummy went straight to the office and started making the phone calls necessary to get us down to Brisbane the following day. She was in there for about half an hour and came out and said, “Darling go and put the kettle on the stove and we'll have a cuppa and sit down and talk about what we are going to do.”

While I made the tea, Mummy was writing something in a book and looking at a calendar, I thought 'I hope I don’t spoil Mummy's wedding plans' and she looked at me as if she read my mind and said, “Don’t worry darling, everything will be alright you'll see.”

The phone rang and she got up and almost ran to answer it, “Hello, yes, you can!!! That's fantastic Tom, yes in about three hours, yes four and luggage, yes and you will stay as well. Thanks Tom., give my regards to Margaret, yes, I’ll see you then 'bye,”

I said, “That was Tom Granger wasn't it Mummy?”

“Yes it was and the kind man is coming with his helicopter to take us to Brisbane and stay there till we are ready to come home.”

“But what about Rodney and his plane? I thought we would be using him from now on.”

“I rang his office.” Mummy replied “and he is in Sydney picking up his new twin engine Cessna and won't be back for a few days. That is why I rang Tom because he is part owner of the charter business that they started up.” Mummy said, “Ok ,you go and pack enough clothes for a week's stay in Brisbane and also pack one for Jenny because she will be coming with us, I can't just leave her here while her Mum and Dad are in Sydney. I would ring them if I knew where they are staying but they will ring here and then they will find out about us taking Jenny with us to Brisbane.”

It was still only nine thirty, so Mummy said she would get all her packing done and then we could go and pick Jenny up from school. While Mummy was packing she was also talking on the phone that had a long lead on it and you could walk into another room as long as you didn’t get the line tangled up on some furniture. In the movies they have radio phones like the two way radios in cabs.

Mummy rang Daddy and told him to be ready to refuel Toms chopper and also go and tell Rita what was happening. Then she rang Doc Ryan and told him to be ready when we got a taxi to take us to the aerodrome.

Mummy said, “There is no reason to take people away from their work to take us to the chopper so a taxi it is.”

We got in the car and went to the school. When we got there Mummy said, “Carla you go to Barry's office and tell him what is happening, and I will go and collect Jenny and explain things to your teacher about what’s going on.”

I went and saw Barry and said, “Sir, may I come in?”

“Sure Carla, what's the problem and why aren’t you in uniform?”

I said “It looks like I might have to have that surgery, you know the one?”

“Oh alright Carla and I take it you are about to go to Brisbane right?”

“Yes, and Jenny is coming with us as well because her Mum and Dad are away.”

“Ok Carla, I will let my family know what’s going on and also let Father Brian know.”

I met Mummy and Jenny back at the car and Jenny gave me a hug and said, “Carla it looks like like you are about to become like me.”

I replied, “Jenny, I am totally scared.”

Jenny said, “Carla, remember what Jean said about being with you always, well she won't let anything happen to you will she?”

“No I s'pose not but it's still scary.”

Jenny said, “Hey what about Tom Granger taking us to Brisbane in his helicopter? I've never been on a chopper before.”

I said “Flying is flying big deal.”

When we got back home Mummy rang the guy with the taxi and told him when he heard the helicopter circle the town to come and pick us up. I was starting to get all edgy and I could feel Jean being the same, I don’t know what she has got to worry about she is already all girl, and I said out loud, “Jean, stop that.” which made Jenny jump which in turn made Mummy jump.

They both said, “Carla don’t do that.”

I replied, “Sorry but sometimes she bugs me.”

Mummy said, “Yeah, well yelling at her wont help either of you will it?”

“No Mummy.”

She packed us some food to eat on the way down to Brisbane. By the time we got there we would be pretty hungry because it wold take almost three hours by the time we get to Archerfield airport and organised a taxi to take us into the city.

Mummy, Jenny and I would be staying with Samantha and her Mum again, and the Doc and Tom were staying with Doc Rose because she had a large apartment just down the road from the Mater hospital.

Anyway we heard the helicopter fly over and got all our things together to put into the boot of the taxi when it come to pick us up. Ten minutes later the guy turned up and we loaded everything into the boot and got under way to the aerodrome.

I said, “Mummy, I forgot to give Ginger some extra food.”

Mummy replied, “it's ok Carla, Bella is going to feed her when there is no one else around in the next week.”

Mummy got the driver to detour to the restaurant so I could say my goodbyes to everyone. I quickly ran into the restaurant and they were all waiting to give me a hug and wish me luck.

Rita had tears in her eyes and said “Carla it looks like this might be it hey?”

I also had tears now and could hardly reply but said in a shaky voice, “Rita I am so scared, I wish you could come with me as well.”

Rita replied and whispered in my ear, “Jean is with you Carla and she will keep you safe.”

I said bye to everyone and ran back out to the car. Mummy said, “I was just about to send out a search party to look for you Carla, we really have to get going!”

“Sorry Mummy.”

We arrived at the aerodrome and Daddy and Tom were just finishing up with the refuelling of the chopper. Tom's wife Margaret was there as well and when the driver got out of his cab she said to him “Would you please wait and take me back into town to my house?”

He nodded and replied, “It will be a pleasure madam.”

Tom started to load the luggage into the underbelly of the chopper and said, “Just as well there isn't any more or it would have to be left behind.” Margaret said “hello” to us and said she would stay in town at the house she bought just for such an occasion. She then went and kissed Tom and said, “Make sure you get all of that business done while you have the chance.”

Tom replied, “Yes dear.” and winked at me. What is it with the winking thing with men? I don’t get it!! Anyway Margaret got in the taxi and she waved to us and the driver sped away. Daddy and Mummy had a hug and then Daddy came and picked me up as though I was still a little kid and kissed me on the cheek and said, “Be safe little girl of mine” and had tears running down his face.

I could feel Jean respond to that and had quite a tremor in my chest and I think Daddy felt it too so he said, “And you too Jean.”

I climbed in to the chopper and was followed by Jenny and Mummy in the one seat. Doc Ryan sat in the seat next to where Tom was the pilot seat of the chopper. It is quite a large one and can seat six people, or when the seats are taken out carry a lot of cargo. Tom said that is why he bought it in the first place.

We were all strapped in and the blades started to turn and Jenny held on to my hand real tight.

She had been on a plane but not a helicopter and said, “What if the propeller falls off?”

I said, “We die and join Jean on the other side, won't that be fun!!”

Mummy said, “Stop that Carla, you'll have Jenny getting nightmares when we get to Brisbane.”

“Sorry Jenny, just joking.”

Tom turned around and said, “Donna, Carla hasn't lost her sense of humour has she?”

Mummy said, “No unfortunately, it can drive me insane sometimes. but I wouldn't have her any other way.” and gave me a wink. 'there's that wink again'. Tom made the chopper take to the air and we were up high in the sky within minutes and on our way to Brisbane.

On the way Tom would fly quite low to have a look at some farms and see what condition the animals were in, because he is thinking of changing River Downs into a cattle station instead of sheep because the price of beef is much better than wool and much less work involved.

Jenny started to relax and I said, “I am sorry for being mean before Jenny, I wont do it any more.”

Jenny replied, “It's ok sis I love you anyway.”

It was quite noisy in a chopper, much more than in a plane, so you had to speak quite loud to be heard.

Doc Ryan turned around and said, “How are you feeling Carla?”

I replied, “I think I might have a stomach bug because I keep getting cramps down low in my tummy.”

Mummy looked at the doc and said, “Is she going to be ok Jim?”

The doc had a worried look on his face and said, “Tom how much longer will it be before we land at Archerfield?”

Tom replied, “We'll be there in about fifteen minutes, Jim. Why, what's the hurry?”

Jim replied trying not to sound too worried but failed when he said, ”We may need to have an ambulance at the airport Tom.”

Tom said, “Oh shit!! Ok, I’ll radio the tower and get that organised right away.”

Doc said to me, “Don’t worry Carla, everything will be ok but I don’t think we can take long a time to get you to see Rose ok?”

Mummy looked worried now and held my hand and squeezed it and said “Hang in there sweetheart.”

I replied, “Mummy it is only a tummy ache, I don’t need an ambulance for a tummy upset.”

Jenny was holding my other hand now and in a panic said, “Carla I think you are having the cramps that girls get before they have their periods.”

I said “Ohhh, but there is nowhere for the blood to come out.” and started to panic as well.

Mummy said, “Calm down darling, we will get you seen to as soon as we get to the Mater ok?”

I closed my eyes and said, “Jean, please tell me I’ll be ok.”

“Carla calm down, I am here. I wont let you come over to my side so just relax or you will only make it hurt more.”

I couldn’t stop shaking now and Mummy said to Tom, “Is the ambulance going to be there Tom?”

Tom said, “Hang on Donna, I am about to land next to that building and I can see an ambulance parked next to the hanger.

By the time Tom had the chopper on the ground there were men coming from all directions and had the doors of the chopper open. Because I was the first to get in at Quilpie, Mummy and Jenny had to get before I could get out. Just then I felt a sharp pain in my groin and screamed out in pain. The ambulance people sort of dragged me over the seat in the chopper to get me out in a hurry. By the time I was out and being held by a man in an ambulance uniform I was in so much pain I screamed, “MUMMY-- JEAN.”

And then I was with Jean in a green field sitting next to my twin sister on the soft grass.

Jean said, “Hello Sis, you can stay here with me while they get you fixed up and you wont feel a thing.” and she giggled while she put her arm around me.

I said, “Jean I must be dead if you can touch me like that.”

“No Sis you are not dead, but you are out of your body and I will keep you with me until you are out of pain.”

“Jean I am wearing the same gown as you have on.”

“Yes Sis and when you do eventually come here you will be wearing the same things as me because we are of the same spirit and soul.”

I replied, “When will that be Jean?”

“I can't tell you when, but you will be old and grey as will I Sis. Now be a good girl and close your eyes and next time I will talk to you as I have always done. I will always be with you Carla, now go to sleep my sweet sister.”

People talking, something making a beeping noise, in bed, “MUMMY!!”

“I'm here sweetheart.” I could feel her holding my hand but I couldn’t see her properly she was all fuzzy around the edges.

I said, “Mummy I am blind, what has happened to my eyes?”

Then a familiar voice said, “Carla you are not blind, you’ll be ok in a few minutes.” It was Mary, Sam's Mum. All of a sudden it all made sense to me and I said, “I’m in the Mater aren't I?”

Mary said “She hasn't lost her sense of humour has she?”

Mummy said, “Someone else said that to me earlier today as well.”

My eyes cleared up and I could see again and I wasn’t going blind thank god!!

I said, “Mummy what happened to me?”

“Darling I don’t know every thing yet but they had to make an opening to release the blood that was starting to poison your system.”

“Have I got a vagina now?”

“Sweetheart you will have to wait till Rose comes and talks to you shortly. Would you like me to get you a sandwich? It is seven o’clock and you haven’t eaten since this morning. You must be hungry?”

“Yes Mummy I am, and a drink as well please.”

Mary came back in the room and took my temperature and pulse and said “You’ll live girl.”

I could hear Jenny outside talking to Doc Ryan and Tom and they came in to the room and said, “Well look who's awake!”

Jenny came rushing over to the bed and hugged me and said, “I thought you were dead when they took you away in the ambulance.”

I replied, “No I was just visiting Jean on the other side. It is just so peaceful and quiet there Jenny. Jean told me I was out of my body while they were fixing me up, and guess what!”

“What?” said Jenny.

“I was wearing the same gown as Jean while I was there and it felt just like silk and very light.” Mummy came back with my sandwich and a drink of chocolate milk.

Rose and another doctor came into the room Rose said, “Hello Carla, couldn’t wait in line hey?” and then she turned to the other doctor and said, “This is the twin we are doing the study on, Alan.”

The man said, “Hello Carla, nice to meet you now that you are awake. By the way I’m Alan Goldman and I did a little bit of temporary surgery on you to at least let you have your first period. You are very young but it is quite common for girls your age to start their menstruation so that is not the concern at the moment.”

Mummy said, “Alan what do you mean by temporary surgery?”

Doctor Goldman said, “Rose, do you want to explain what needs to be done with Carla now?”

“Donna ,Jim and I have had a discussion and because Alan is not a specialist in this field he was the only surgeon available when Carla was brought in with the ambulance into the emergency department, so as a result it is only a temporary measure to stop Carla from developing septicaemia which can be fatal. I have a doctor friend in Sydney that does work with inter-sexed people like Carla and she will be in Brisbane tomorrow, and will come and have a look to see what the best options are for her at this point.”

Doc Ryan said to Mummy “I think the hormones Carla is taking has made her ovaries work at double the amount a girl her age would.”

Mummy replied “Jim what exactly will they do now that we know she is a girl inside?”

Doc Ryan said, “Come out of the room and we can discuss it out in the hall.”

Mummy was getting angry at that comment and said, “Jim, Carla is an intelligent young girl and she deserves to know what is going on with her body, and we will speak in front of her or not at all.”

Jim was taken aback by Mummy's sudden outburst, and said, “Sorry Donna, I just didn't want to worry Carla any more than is necessary.” Then he looked at me and around the room and nodded his head and said, “Ok this is what will happen; the surgery that has been done is a temporary measure only, and we will wait till the doctor comes from Sydney and has a look at Carla.”

Mummy replied, “Is Carla in any danger of the opening closing up and blocking the blood flow?”

Doctor Goldman then took over the discussion and explained what he did and that there was a tube inserted in the small opening that he had created to stop any chance of it closing up. I also had a catheter in my urethral opening. That seemed to satisfy Mummy for the moment. After a bit more discussion every one except Mummy and Jenny were left in the room.

Mummy said, “Sweetheart, how are you coping with all the medical talk?”

I replied, “Mummy, I must be a girl inside if I am having a period.”

Mummy replied, “Carla no one is doubting that you are a girl, they are just trying to work out the best way to make you complete.”

Jenny was now sitting on the bed and said, “Sis you beat me to having our first period,and that makes you a complete girl for me.” and then she hugged me with all the silly tubes coming out of me and all.

To be continued

Next time: a gender specialist from Sydney confirms my girl status.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

“The surgery that has been done is a temporary measure only and we will wait till the doctor comes from Sydney and has a look at Carla.”

Mummy replied, “Is Carla in any danger of the opening closing up and blocking the blood flow?”

Doctor Goldman then took over the discussion and explained what he did and that there was a tube inserted in the small opening that he had created to stop any chance of it closing up. I also had a catheter in my urethral opening. That seemed to satisfy Mummy for the moment. After a bit more discussion every one except Mummy and Jenny were left in the room.

Mummy said, “Sweetheart how are you coping with all the medical talk?”

I replied, “Mummy I must be a girl inside if I am having a period.”

Mummy replied, “Carla no one is doubting that you are a girl, they are just trying to work out the best way to make you complete.”

Jenny was now sitting on the bed and said, “Sis you beat me to having our first period, that makes you a complete girl for me.” and then she hugged me with all the silly tubes coming out of me and all.

Mary came into the room and said, “Carla there is someone here that wants to give you a hug.” and in came Samantha almost tripping over in her hurry to get to my bed to give me a hug and a kiss right on my lips, and once she caught her breath said, “Carla did you really have to make such a dramatic entrance into becoming a girl?”

I was still tasting her minted breath on my lips and had a funny feeling in my tummy like butterflies flying around in circles. I closed my eyes and Jean said “Hey that felt nice didn't it?”

I said out loud, “Stop that Jean.” which made Sam and Jenny jump but Mummy said, “Jean I heard that. Behave yourself please.”

“Sorry Mummy.” and Jean was gone.

Sam looked at Jenny and said, “Twin spirits - awesome!!” and continued “I s'pose we'll just have to put up with their wicked sense of humour.”

Jenny replied, “Yeah but I love them both Sam.”

Mary said, “Right you lot, I am at the end of my shift so I will finish up here and join you in coming home, and we can make some dinner if you like.”

Mummy replied, “I think we might just pick up some take away because it is getting late and we have a lot to talk about tonight.”

Mary said “Ok, I’ll meet you downstairs in the main lobby in ten minutes.”

Mummy said “Now don’t you and Jean go anywhere will you!”

“Mummyeee!”

“Ok sweetheart, we'll say goodnight and see you in the morning when the doctor arrives from Sydney.”

All three hugged me and Sam gave me another one of those kisses. 'Wow what is that all about?' I thought and drifted off to sleep.

Tuesday 6/7/59
~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary had just started her shift and I was her first port of call and she walked in all smiles and and said, “Are you two still here?”

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around to see who else was in the room and realised she meant Jean and myself, and replied “Good morning Mary, Jean says hello.”

Mary responded, “Carla I am not a religious person but, it just blows me away when I can see that you clearly communicate with your twin on the other side.”

I said “Mary come and hold my hand and close your eyes.”

Mary was a little bit apprehensive but held onto my hand and closed her eyes.

I said, “Jean, let Mary know that you are real.” Mary jumped back letting go of my hand and said, “Holy mother of God!! that was like an electric shock going through me Carla.”

“Sorry Mary, I didn't mean to scare you, but Jean has got the same sense of humour as me, after all we are identical twins locked into the same soul.”

Mary said, “You could have warned me that she was going to zap me like that, but now I understand what you are all about.” then she said, “Ok wonder girl, lets get you ready for the big-wig from Sydney.”

Mary pulled the covers back and had a look at where the tube was inserted in my groin and said, “That all looks ok. Now I had better empty the bag, and then give you a bit of a sponge bath.”

Ten minutes later the lady came around with the big trolley which had all the breakfast trays on it and and she brought a tray of bacon, eggs, and toast with a glass of milk as well.

Mary said, “Eat your breakfast because I think once the doc has seen you she will want to do some more scans and you have to have an empty stomach for that and you wont be able to have any food for at least six hours.”

At nine am Doc Ryan came into the room and a lady doctor was with him.

I thought to myself, 'Gee a lady doctor, at least she will know what it feels like to be a girl.”

She said, “Hello Carla, I’m Caroline Stanford and I’m a gender specialist and I have been asked by Rose and Doctor Ryan to have a look at you and see what we can do to improve your situation.”

I said, “Hello Doctor Stanford, it's nice to meet you.”

She replied, “Dear, call me Carol. By the time we are finished I think we will know each quite intimately.” I liked her, she has a nice a smile. Just then Rose walked in all out of breath and said, “I was going to be here but got waylaid by a young doctor on the way.” then she said, “Have you met them both?”

Carol replied, “No, but I hope I do because the way Jim is rabbiting on it sounds very interesting. I have also read your first paper on the subject. Carla is going to become a very interesting project to work on.”

I said in a bit of a huff and a pout, “Excuse me but I am not a project thank you very much!!”

They all looked at me and Doc Ryan said, “You will have to be careful how you phrase things around Carla or she will get her twin sister to zap you, and believe me she can do it.”

Caroline said, “Ok Carla, it looks like you are a very mature nine year old and I will have to keep that in mind.”

Mummy was standing at the door with Mary listening to what was going on and Mary said “Carla, why don’t you give the doctor a demonstration of what you did this morning and she will understand what we are talking about?”

I looked at Mummy and she just nodded her head and said, “Carla, it might prove to the doctor that you a really do have a dual spirit.”

Carol looked at me with a nervous smile and said “Ok what do I have to do?”

I said “Could we have the light turned off?”

Mary flicked the switch and I asked Carol to close her eyes and to hold my hand and not let it go. Once she was holding my hand I also closed my eyes and waited till I could see Jean in my mind. She had a wicked smile on her face.

I said in my normal voice, “Jean, please show Caroline that you are real but be gentle.” I made sure that I held onto the doctors hand in case she pulled it away too quickly. I could feel vibrations going down my arm and the doctor tried to pull her hand away but somehow Jean had enough power so she couldn't let go of my hand.

I said, “Jean, let go.” and the vibrations stopped and Carol was rubbing her arm which had goose bumps all over it. Mary turned the light back on. The doctor was as white as as a bed sheet and sat down on one of the chairs in the room.

All eyes were on Caroline and she said, “Ok I’m convinced, my arm is still tingling. I have never experienced anything like this before Carla, you are an amazing little girl.”

I replied, “And my sister.”

“Yes and your sister.”

Rose said “Ok, show time is over. Can we get down to why you are actually here Carol?”

“Yes of course, sorry. Could I have a talk with Carla by herself first if you don’t mind?” Everyone left me and the doctor alone to have a talk.

Carol pulled up the chair beside the bed and sat down and opened up a note pad. “Alright Carla dear, lets start at the beginning and we will go from there shall we?” I told her what happened at River Downs and left nothing out and by the time I was finished I had brought her right to when she walked into the room.

She let me talk and didn't interrupt me till I was finished. She had three pages of notes and said “Carla you are very young and I cannot give you the full surgery till you have grown for at least another two years, but we can make things look a bit better than it it is now, but I don’t want you to stress out, because when the time comes I will be able to make you complete ok?” she continued “I am going to do a full physical examination shortly but I would also like to have some more tests done, and then probably tomorrow we can tidy things up for you to make you look more like little a nine year old girl.”

I said “But I already have a vagina, why can't you not fix it now?”

“Carla I will know more after I have had a good look at you and we will make a decision tomorrow sweetheart.”

I started to cry and said, “I want to be a full girl now. I am having a period and if I wasn't a girl that would not be happening would it?”

Carol said “Well I can't argue with that. Can we just wait till I do the examination and we will take it from there?”

I said, “Can Mummy come in with me when you do the examination?”

Carol said, “I suppose if I said no you will not let me near you, am I right?”

I replied, “Doctor ,my Mummy is going to be with me ok?”

She replied “I suppose I’ll get zapped by your sister if I don’t agree won't I?” and she started rubbing her arm again.

I said, “She is part of me.”

Carol said, “Ok, so be it than.”

The rest of the day was spent getting more blood taken; some other machines being run over me taking some sort of pictures and then came the physical examination and I got Mummy to hold my hand when the doctor was touching me down there. She pulled the tube out and started to feel inside me and raised an eyebrow and looked at Mummy and said, “My God Donna, she is complete. I think we will be able to open her up without any great problem.”

Mummy replied “Are you sure?”

“Yes quite sure, but we will have to do it in Sydney where I have my colleagues to help me perform the surgery.”

Mummy then said “I thought you said Carla is too young to have this kind of surgery done for another couple of years?”

Caroline replied, “Donna, 'till I examined Carla I could not have made a decision but she is all there. Her vulva has just never opened up and as you can see for yourself what looked like a penis is in fact a clitoris with an opening in it. That is just part of her inter-sexed condition.

Mummy said “So what will happen now?”

Caroline said “I will have to make some phone calls and see what we can organise in the next week in Sydney. We can't do any surgery while she has her period any case.”

Mummy looked me and said “Well sweetheart ,it looks like we might be going to Sydney before we get to go back home.”

Mummy asked Caroline if there was any need for me to stay in hospital.

Carol said, “No not really, but you have to make sure that you keep Carla really clean around that little temporary opening. We can not afford to be getting any infections in that area because that could be fatal, and you will have to make sure that it does not close up. Other than that you can look after your daughter yourself. If you give me the phone number of where you are staying I will call you later today and let you know when you have to have Carla in Sydney.”

Mary, Rose and Doctor Ryan all came into the room and were told what Carol had discovered.

Rose said, “I thought as much because boys don’t have periods do they Carla?”

I replied, “It feels pretty yucky down there.”

Rose replied “Join the club darling. It will happen once a month now so you had better get used to it.”

Mary said she would clean me up one more time and showed Mummy what to do to keep the hole from closing up, because the tube that was in there was now out and wouldn't be put back. I was a sore a little but Mary said, “You will be a lot sorer next week when they open you up properly darling.”

Mummy went down to to sign the discharge papers while I was wheeled down to the main lobby in a wheel chair. Doc Ryan said he would walk the short distance to Mary’s flat where Tom would be waiting for him to bring him the news about me. Mummy said that I would not be able to walk to Mary’s flat even though it was only a couple of blocks away. It was not worth the risk of me putting any strain on my groin.

There was a taxi at the rank and Mummy said to the driver, “We only need to go a couple of blocks, but my daughter is not allowed to walk that far.”

The driver was a lady I think but looked like she had to have a shave and when she spoke it was with a man's voice and she said, “Hop in luvy, I am not busy at the moment and I will run you there for free.”

Mummy said “No, I will pay you.”

Anyway we got into the cab and it took about five minutes to get us to the building of Mary's flat.

The driver said, “There you are luv.” Mummy handed her a ten shilling note and said “Thanks” and asked her for her card so we could use her again. As she handed over the card and before I got out of the car I said “You are like me.” and I looked at the card Mummy was holding which had her name on it said 'Debbie Carter'.

“Debbie?”

She looked at me and said, “I doubt that darling, but I wish I was as pretty as you.”

Mummy said “Carla that is personal, now you say sorry to Debbie for being rude.”

“But Mummy.”

Debbie said “It's ok luv, I’m a tranny, but it's what I have to do,”

I came straight out and said, “I am inter-sexed and I understand.”

Mummy said, “Carla!!”

Debbie said “It's ok lady leave her be, at least she hasn't called me a weirdo.”

Mummy said “Thanks Debbie, I will give you a call when we need a cab in the next couple of days.”

Debbie replied, “Ok luv.” and drove off.

Mummy said, “Carla, you don’t just ask people personal questions like that.”

“Sure you do Mummy, that's how I make all my friends.”

Mummy rolled her eyes and said, “God help us.” She had the code to put into the front door of the building and we opened the door and got into the lift to go up to Mary's flat where Jenny was waiting for us. Mummy was just about to put the key in the door of the flat when Jenny opened it and said, “Thank God you are here, I was getting so bored all by myself.”

I hadn't eaten because of the tests and my tummy was rumbling and it was now three o’clock in the afternoon so Mummy said, “Darling ,you go and lay down and have a rest but before you do I want you to change your pad. Remember what the doctor told you would happen if you got an infection.”

“Yeah I would go and visit Jean on a permanent basis.”

Jenny said, “Carla, you are scaring me when you say things like that.”

Mummy said, “I am going now to get us a bit of takeaway. Make sure if the phone rings you have a note pad to write down any information ok Carla? Jenny keep an eye on her will you, she is not with it today.”

“Yes Aunty Donna I will.”

Once we were alone Jenny bombarded me with questions, “What did the doctor find Sis, are you a girl or not?”

I replied, “it was all a bit yucky when she put her finger inside me down there and it felt a bit strange but she said I was a complete girl and it was only a bit of skin that needs to be removed to make me like you Jenny.”

Jenny said, “Yeah and now you are more girl than me because you are having your first period.”

I replied “Don’t worry, you will get yours, but it is rather messy. Anyway I only got mine because the girl pills that I have been taking made it happen sooner.”

Jenny said, “Can I have your pills now that you don’t need them any more?”

“Jenny, they can make you sick, so no you can't have them.”

“Spoilsport.”

I said, “I wonder if Jean will get her periods as well.” Jean must be listening to our conversation and I got a clear NO from Jean which I relaid to Jenny and we both got a giggle fit just as Mummy came back with some fish and chips wrapped in newspaper to keep them hot.

Thank God Mummy was back because the phone rang and made us all jump and almost drop our chips on the floor. Mummy went to answer the phone and in walked Samantha home from school and said “I hope there some of those for me and she dropped her school bag on the floor and plonked herself in between me and Jenny and started getting into the chips and said, “Yummy I love chips.”

Jenny said “Hey, yours are on the kitchen table still wrapped up in newspaper but now you will have to share yours with us.”

She got up and went to the kitchen and came back with a piece of fish half in and half out of her mouth and sat down where she was before and said “There you go, share and share alike.” so Jenny and I both grabbed a piece of fish and pretended to put it in our mouth, but stopped when Mummy walked in from the other room,and we put the fish back on Samantha’s lap.

Mummy said, “Right girls, you can all hear this. Carla is going to have the complete surgery on Friday morning at ten o'clock in a private clinic in Sydney. So what do you lot think about that hey?”

Samantha said, “Wow Carla, you haven’t told me what happened today.”

I said, “Well if you stopped eating long enough I would have told you when you first sat down.”

She replied, “Yeah yeah I know I’m a bit of a guts.”

Mummy interrupted and said, “Girls, did you hear one word that I said?”

We three said “Yes Mummy.”

Mummy shook her head and said, “Can we all be serious for just one moment please?” We kept quite to let Mummy repeat what she said earlier and then she explained what the plans were for Friday.

Mummy said, “Ok are you listening.” we all nodded and she continued. “We are going to catch a plane to Sydney on Thursday afternoon and stay at a motel one block away from the clinic. Carla, you will be in bed for three days to heal enough to be able to come back here and Rose will want to keep an eye on you for the rest of next week.”

Samantha put her hand up and said “Is Carla going to have SRS?”

Mummy replied, “No Sam she doesn’t need that because she already is a girl inside. She only has to be opened up, so it is nowhere near as big an operation as you will have to have.”

“But I have to wait till I am eighteen which isn't fair,.”

Mummy said, “Whoever said anything about life being fair Sam? Anyway here is what is going to happen. Jenny I have been in touch with your parents in Sydney and they will pick you up from the motel and take you to see your sick Gran and you will stay with them till Carla is released from the clinic and then you will come back here with us till we are ready to fly home with Rodney in his new plane.”

Jenny said, “What about Tom and the Doctor?”

Mummy replied, “They are already on their way back home as we speak.”

Jenny said “Wow, I have never been to Sydney, Gran always came to visit us instead.”

Mummy said “So did all three of you get all that?”

We all replied “ Yes Mummy.” Mummy just shook her head and went into the other room to make some more phone calls.

While Mummy was out of the room Sam and Jenny both grilled me about what it felt like to have a period.

I said, “Well I hope I don’t get those pains every time I have a period but the rest is just a bit yucky because you have to change the pad every couple of hours and have a good wash down there.”

Jenny replied “Ooh I can't wait. I don’t care if it hurts or not.”

Samantha said “I am jealous of you two. I will never have a period or be able to have a baby but at least I will look like a girl down there.”

I said, “Oh my god, I haven’t even thought about that. I can get a big belly and have a baby.”

Jenny said “I bet that hurts when it has to come out ouch!!”

I could feel Jean having a giggle and said, “Ok Jean, what’s so funny?”

She said in my head, “Oh nothing.” and then gigged again and was gone.

The others said “Was that Jean?”

“Yeah, she can be a real pain in the you know what sometimes,”

Sam said “Can we see if we can all see and hear her at once tonight?”

I replied, “When we all get into your bed tonight we can try.”

Mummy came back out and said, “Samantha, what has your Mum got in the freezer? I will do something about dinner tonight.”

Sam replied, “Aunty Donna, I think there is a lamb roast in there but isn't it too late to put that in the oven now.”

Mummy replied, “No dear ,it is only three-thirty, so there is plenty of time because your Mum doesn't come home from work till after seven o'clock.”

While Mummy was preparing the roast and vegetables to put in a baking dish to put into the oven, we three girls just gossiped about different things when Jenny brought up the subject of Kenny / Christine, and Samantha said, “She must be like me still with all the boy bits. Are you two going to be there for her?”

“We already are Sam, we even saved her father from dying from a heart attack.”

I said, “When we get back home I am going to ring her and talk with her to see how we can help.”

“Yeah that’s after we go and see Mrs Blake to see if she needs us to do anything for her around the house.”

Sam asked “Who's Mrs Blake?”

Jenny said, “She is the mother of that idiot boy that attacked Carla at the park.”

Sam replied, “Than why are you helping her?”

Jenny said, “We have to, that's all,”

Sam asked “Why did her son attack you Carla?”

I said, “It's a long story and I really just want to forget about it if you don’t mind.”

Sam replied “Ok suit yourself” with a pout, but gave me a hug and said, “stupid boys.”

After Mary came home from work we had dinner and sat around and talked about all the things that had happened today and because Samantha had a king-size bed, all three of us got in under the covers.

Jenny said, “Carla, I hate to nag but have you changed your pad yet?

“Uh oh! no.” So we all went to the bathroom together so Sam and Jenny could see what I looked looked down there, well we were all girls after all.

Sam said “Ouch that looks sore.”

I said, “It's not really but I bet after Friday it will be.”

Without saying anything both Jenny and Sam pulled their knickers down to compare what we looked like. Jenny and I looked almost the same. Sam still had boy bits but they were very small and when she pulled her knickers back up there really wasn’t much to see. But then we decided to pull our tops off and I and Jenny had puffy nipples but Sam had the start of small breasts because she has been taking hormones for the last twelve months.

Ok, show over. I changed my pad and it looked like the period was almost finished. We all climbed back into bed after saying goodnight to the two Mummies.

“Right,” said Samantha, “I want to see or hear Jean.”

I said, “Ok, lets turn out the lights and I will see if she is strong enough to show herself to all three of us.” Samantha was in the middle so we cuddled up close and and I said, “Don’t let go of my hand and keep your eyes closed.”

I felt a bit of a tremble which I don’t normally feel any more and Jean was waiting to talk and she said “Carla, what took you so long? I have been waiting for you and I have been listening to the three of you gossiping and inspecting each other. I think that's a bit naughty but I had a look anyway. ''Giggle'' Sam and Jenny were also trembling a bit but didn't say anything.

Jean said “Hello girls. I can't keep this up very long but can you see me?”

Both Jenny and Sam said “Wow!! Yeah, and hear you too.”

Sam said “You are really pretty.”

Jean said “As pretty as my sister?” and Jenny started to get the giggles.

Jean said “That is all the strength I have so I’ll see you.” and she faded till she was gone.

Mummy and Mary were standing at the door and switched the light back on and said “What is going on in here girls?”

I replied, “It is all Jean's fault, she started it.” and we all got the giggles.

Mummy said “Carla, you know I listen in to your conversations with your sister so don’t you act the little 'Miss Innocent' with me young lady.”

We all said, “Yes ma'am sir.”

Mary said, “Ok lights out and go to sleep, the day is over.” We went to sleep in a tight cuddle.

To be continued

Next time: Sydney, the op, back to Brisbane and then home.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

I felt a bit of a tremble which I don’t normally feel any more and Jean was waiting to talk and she said “Carla, what took you so long? I have been waiting for you and I have been listening to the three of you gossiping and inspecting each other. I think that's a bit naughty but I had a look anyway. ''Giggle'' Sam and Jenny were also trembling a bit but didn't say anything.

Jean said “Hello girls. I can't keep this up very long but can you see me?”

Both Jenny and Sam said “Wow!! Yeah, and hear you too.”

Sam said “You are really pretty.”

Jean said “As pretty as my sister?” and Jenny started to get the giggles.

Jean said “That is all the strength I have so I’ll see you.” and she faded till she was gone.

Mummy and Mary were standing at the door and switched the light back on and said “What is going on in here girls?”

I replied, “It is all Jean's fault, she started it.” and we all got the giggles.

Mummy said “Carla, you know I listen in to your conversations with your sister so don’t you act the little 'Miss Innocent' with me young lady.”

We all said, “Yes ma'am sir.”

Mary said, “Ok lights out and go to sleep, the day is over.” We went to sleep in a tight cuddle.

Wednsday 8/7/59.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wasn't supposed to do much walking, so the next couple of days would be mainly spent watching telly or reading Samantha's books, or Jenny and I talking about how we were going to help Christine become a total girly girl. Jenny was getting excited about going to Sydney and being there for almost a week to see her Gran and go to the Taronga Zoo.

Mummy was busy organising all the travel arrangements for our trip to Sydney. When she finished making all the phone calls she came into the lounge where we were sitting and sat down beside us and said, “Right, we are booked on a flight to Sydney tomorrow morning at ten o’clock and by the time we land, collect our bags and get outside to a taxi rank it will be lunch time. I have also set you two some sums to do so you don’t fall too far behind in your schoolwork.” Jenny and I both let out a sigh, but I also know that exams are coming up so it was time to do some some study. Jenny and I are good at everything but maths so that is what Mummy said we will have to concentrate on. Mummy let us watch telly till lunch and said the rest of the day would have to be spent doing maths.

We were still at it when Samantha came home from school. Sam got herself some biscuits and a drink of milk and helped us with our maths because it is her best subject and she is two years older than us so she showed us where we were going wrong. We studied right up until Mary came home and Mummy said “Ok girls, you can stop now and come and have some dinner.”

I said, “thank heaven for that.”

After dinner we watched a bit of telly and then did our packing for the plane trip the next day. We were dog-tired from the school work and all three of us girls got into the shower together.

I said, “It looks like my period is finished because there was is no blood on the pad.

While Jenny and Sam got into bed, I got Mummy to check my groin area to make sure it was all still ok.

Mummy said “Carla it looks fine, so off to bed with you and get a good night's sleep. There is going to be a couple of long days ahead for you.”

“Yes, good night Mummy.”

“Night darling.”

When I got into Samantha's bed Jenny was already asleep and Samantha wasn't far off going to sleep either, but my mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour just thinking about going into surgery and being cut open to make me look right down there. I did go to sleep but woke up a few times through the night.

We all woke up with a start when Mummy knocked on the door and said, “Up you get girls, breakfast is on the table.”

We dragged ourselves to the table to eat a breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast plus a drink of chocolate milk. Mary was still in bed and Mummy said, “Sam here is your Mum's breakfast. You can surprise her and let her have breakfast in bed for a nice change.”

Sam did as she was told and took the breakfast in to her mother.

Once Mary was up and about she she said, “Carla I will have a look at you and make sure you are ok to fly to Sydney later this morning.”

I replied “Why!! Is it dangerous for me to fly because of the hole in my groin?”

“No Carla, I just want make sure it is not bleeding any more.”

I replied, “Oh there was no blood on the pad this morning but I put another one in my knickers anyway.”

Mary said, “Good girl Carla.”

We all finished breakfast and Samantha was getting ready for school and was already dressed in her school uniform.

Jenny said “Sam, let me do your hair, it is really thick and nice to work with.”

Samantha replied. “Oh good, it can be a real pain to do it when I’m in a hurry.”

When Sam's hair was done Jenny said “Carla sit down and I’ll do yours as well.”

Mary commented “Jenny it looks like you have a good idea of what you are doing with hair, you might go into a hair dressing when you leave school.”

Jenny said “Not in Quilpie I won't.”

Mummy said, “Oh and what's wrong with Quilpie young lady?”

Jenny giggled and said, “Err — um, nothing Aunty Donna, but it is not the city is it?”

Mummy rolled her eyes and said “I hope Carla doesn’t want to go to the city as well!!”

I said, “No Mummy, bushy born and bred.”

Mary gave everyone a kiss and said “I’ll see you all when you get back next week, and Carla sweetheart, you'll be fine so don’t stress out.” She then said, “Come on Sam, I’ll walk part of the way with you to school.”

Sam gave me and Jenny a quick kiss and she was gone.

Mummy said, “Right girls I have a check list, so let's see if we have everything set to go to the airport.”

Once that was done Mummy got the card out of her purse that that funny looking woman taxi driver gave her when she dropped us two blocks from the hospital to here. Mummy rang the number and it was the main depot, and Mummy just said the driver's name and it was obviously relayed to Debbie by two-way radio because she was waiting outside the building when we got downstairs to the front entrance.

Debbie got out of the cab and said, “Good morning ladies, and where can I transport you to this fine morning?” She was dressed in a black skirt and white blouse with a black and white taxi logo on the pocket of the blouse; her hair was quite long but she had it in a loose pony-tail and it looked nice.

I said, “Debbie, I'm sorry for being rude to you the other day, but you looked like you needed a shave.”

Debbie replied “It's ok darling, it was at the end of my shift so there was a bit of stubble there.” She then said, “Sweetheart you said you were like me, but you look all girl to me.”

Mummy took over the conversation and said, “Debbie, we can discuss this on the way to the airport or we will be to late to catch our flight to Sydney.”

“Sorry luv, yes of course.”

We loaded all our things into the trunk of the cab with Debbie's help and were on our way.

Mummy said “Ok Debbie, let me explain about our little Carla and then you will understand what is going on.” After Mummy told Debbie all about me being inter-sexed Debbie said, “Oh you poor little thing.”

I replied, “No, I am loved very much by my family and that is all that matters. Does anyone love you Debbie?”

Mummy said “Carla!! There you go again.”

I replied, “Oops sorry.”

Jenny was having a giggle fit at me and Debbie said, “Yes Carla, as a matter of fact I am still married to the most understanding woman in this world. She even helps me put on my make up.”

I then said, “Will you get the op?” This time Mummy gave up and let me go.

Debbie replied, “Not at this stage luv, it is very expensive and it will take me at least three more years to save up enough money to go to Thailand and have it done over there.”

We were at the airport so my questions came to a stop. We got out of the car and Debbie got a trolley to put all the bags on and Mummy paid her for the fare. Before Debbie got back into the car she gave me a hug and said “Good luck in Sydney luv.” and got in her cab and drove off.

Mummy said, “Did you find out all you wanted to Carla, or did you want more time to interrogate poor Debbie further?”

“Mummyeee!!” All Jenny could do is giggle all the way into the airport service desk.

Once Jenny was finished giggling she looked at me. And I said, “What!!”

Jenny replied, “Carla, you are so funny sometimes.”

I said, “I’m glad you think so.” but also started to giggle and then Mummy said, “Will you two settle down and get serious.” but had a bit of a giggle herself.

Anyway onwards and upwards into the clouds above New South Wales. One and a half hours later we were back on the ground in Sydney, and half an hour later we were in a taxi going to the motel where we were going to stay. We arrived at the motel forty minutes later. The traffic there is really bad and it comes to a standstill every couple of blocks. Anyway we went into the motel and unpacked and went for a walk down the road to where the clinic was to check it out.

It looked like a mini hospital and a very new building with manicured gardens all around the front. We didn't go in and kept walking past until we reached the next intersection and on the corner there was a cluster of small shops which included a cafe with a take-away section.

Mummy said “That's handy to know because there are no cooking facilities in the motel.” but they have a restaurant attached to the motel. We went into the take-away and ordered fish and chips and some orange juice to wash it down. We sat outside under the footpath awning where they had table and chairs set up for their customers.

The fish was alright but the chips were all soggy.

Mummy said, “I'm going to have a word with the management, I wouldn’t feed these chips to an animal.”

I said, “Mummy let it go, we just wont buy any more food here.”

She replied, “Yeah I s'pose your right Carla.” After that we got up and started to walk back to the motel. Once we were back inside the motel room Mummy picked up the phone and started to dial a number and said, “The bloody phone is not working.”

Jenny said, “No Aunty Donna, you have to dial one and wait for the office to give you a line out.”

Mummy replied, “I knew that, I was just testing to see if you were paying attention.” 'Mummy hates to be wrong'.

Anyway she dialled one and got the front desk of the motel and they gave her a line without even saying anything. Once there was a dial tone, Mummy rang the number for Jenny's parents and and waited till it almost rang out but finally Jenny's mum picked it up.

Mummy said, “Hello is this Jan? Oh good. Jan we are at the motel if you would like to come and pick up Jenny now.” After giving Jan a few directions on what street the motel was on she said, “Jenny come and say hello to your Mum.”

Jenny said, “ Hello Mummy how is Gran? Alright Mummy I’ll see you soon, 'bye.”

“Mummy said she will be here to pick me up in about half an hour Aunty Donna.”

Mummy replied, “Ok Jenny, have you got all your things together so you can be ready to go when your Mum gets here?”

“I'll do that now Aunty Donna.” and she put all her things at the door.

Jenny said, “Carla I wish I could be with you when you go to the hospital but I also want to see my Gran.”

I replied, “It's ok Jenny I understand. Don’t worry about me I've got Jean looking out for me.”

Jan turned up in half an hour like she said she would. She was driving a hire car. Mummy and Jan talked for a while and then it was time for them to go. Jenny had tears rolling down her cheeks when she hugged me and said, “I’ll see you in a few days Carla, be good.”

I hugged her back and couldn't stop my tears either and said, “Just go and enjoy yourself.” and said goodbye.

Later we went to the motel restaurant to have the evening meal and then went to bed by nine o’clock. It had been a long day and Mummy and I were worn out. Mummy went to sleep pretty well straight away but I was very restless and was worried about tomorrow and being cut open. I tried to go to sleep but it was not working so I whispered, “Jean are you there”

“Of course I’m here, where else would I be, are you forgetting we are tied together by our dual soul?”

I replied “Sis can you help me get to sleep?”

Jean said, “Sure Carla, just listen to me singing and you will drop off”. Of all the things she could sing she started singing very softly ---

'You are my child of moonlight,
You call the angels down.
There is peace within my heart
Whenever you’re around.

The stars at night they all shine bright.
And darling so do you.
You are my child of moon light
And I'll always love you.

I didn't hear any more and was in dreamland for the rest of the night.

Mummy was stroking my hair away from my face which woke me up out of the best night's sleep I have ever had.

I said, “Mummy, Jean sang me to sleep last night.”

She replied, “Darling, when you asked Jean to get you to sleep, I woke up and looked at the bedside clock and it was past ten o'clock, and then I closed my eyes and saw Jean sitting on the bed stroking your face and singing a beautiful lullaby that I have never heard before. She only had to sing one verse and you were off with the pixies. Mummy said. “Jean kept singing once you were asleep and she looked at me with that angel face and I dropped off as well. Carla we are truly blessed to have this happen to us.”

“Mummy, do think we will all end up together with Jean when we die?”

“Well sweetheart, Jean seems to think so. She keeps telling you as much when she is communicating with you. So yes I do think we will all be together when the time comes.”

It was time to get up and get dressed and wait for Mummy's breakfast to be delivered to our door. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and a lady's voice said, “room service.” Mummy opened the door and there was a teenage girl with a breakfast tray, she said 'Morning' and handed the tray over to Mummy. I couldn't have breakfast because of my operation, so could only look on in envy as Mummy ate her bacon and eggs.

By the time she was finished it was eight thirty and we had to be at the clinic at nine am, so we grabbed my over-night bag which had my nightie and toiletries and also a warm dressing gown packed into it, and started to walk the short distance to the clinic. We walked up the steps and into the main reception area and went to the desk where an elderly lady was on the telephone.

She said to whoever was on the other end of the line “I'll have to call you back Tom” and hung up the phone and looked up at us and smiled and said, “Stupid bloody husbands always losing something.”

Mummy replied, “Yeah tell me about it.”

The lady said “My name is Rena and I run all the admin in this place. You would be be Carla” as she was looking at me above her half glasses with a smile.

I said, “Yes and this is my Mum Madonna Croft.” Mummy doesn’t officially became Mrs Croft till September but I have seen Mummy sign things M. C. Croft so I guess it is alright to call her that. Mummy looked at me and said,
“It's ok sweetheart, I have already changed my name by deed poll when you and Rita were adopted by William.”

I said, “Mummy he doesn’t go by that name.”

She replied “No, but he has to sign cheques and other legal things as William.”

I said, “Oh why?”

“Because William becomes Bill just like John becomes Jack or James into Jim.”

“Oh don’t remind me please.”

Rena was having a little giggle to her self and said, “We had better get you admitted young lady. You're supposed to be in theatre at ten thirty so I’ll call one of the nurses to take you up to the private room and get you prepared and ready for surgery.”

A nurse came down the hallway with a wheel chair and said, “Ok hop in and we’ll go for a ride up to your room young miss”

I said, “I can walk you know.” and she replied, “Honey I don't make the rules but I have to abide by them or I won't have a job - now sit.” She winked at Mummy as she said that, there is that stupid winking again, it must be a separate language or something. Anyway onwards and upwards to my room.

The nurse said “By the way I’m Judy, and I’ll be your nurse for much of your stay and I also assist Caroline in theatre so I know all about what we are about to do with you little one.”

I liked her. She was a bit of a bully but in a nice way. We entered the room and I was told to strip and put one of those stupid back to front hospital gowns on, but to have a shower first with some special kind of gel soap.

After I showered I walked out naked and asked Mummy to help me with that gown and tie it at the back. Even when it is tied your bum is still visible. Anyway that done I got up on the bed and tried to sit with my legs together because I had no knickers on.

Mummy giggled and said, “Carla darling, in a half an hour you will be out like a light and and you won't care who looks up your gown.”

I said, “Mummy, will you be in the operating theatre as well?

She replied, “Yes sweetheart, I got permission from Caroline the other day for that. Iwouldn't miss this for anything in the world, because to me it will seem like you are being born again, only this time with the right genitals.”

Just then Judy came in with a tray and some long socks to put on my legs, 'It must be cold in the operating theatre' I thought to myself. Mummy helped me putting on the leg warmers and then Judy said, “Ok darling, I am going to give you an injection to make you feel nice and relaxed but you won't go to sleep till I get you up to theatre.”

I was feeling relaxed alright! As I was being pushed down a mile long hallway and through a set of double doors, the bed thingy that I was on stopped under some real big lights that weren’t turned on. I was lifted onto another table like a bed with arms on the end which Judy called stirrups. You know!! the things you put your feet into to ride a horse.

My mind was going all funny.

I said, “Am I going to ride a horse?

Mummy was holding my hand and said, “Just relax sweetheart.”

“Yes Mummy.”

Judy said, “Ok darling I am going to give you another injection now and you will go to sleep and when you wake up you will be back in your room ok?”

I was looking at my feet up on the leg thingy's and long socks on when everything went black and I was with Jean in that green field again.

Jean said, “Hello Sis, back again?”

I said “What am I doing here this time?”

Jean said, “The doctor is making everything look right so you will look like a proper girl, like you were supposed to when you and I were born.”

I said “Jean, can't I just stay here with you? It is much nicer here and it is so quiet, and oh look! - I am wearing the beautiful gown again.”

“Carla you are just as funny here as you are back on earth.”

I said, “Where are we if we are not on earth?”

Jean replied, “Well we are sort of on earth but in the spirit realm. It is a bit hard to explain but you don’t need to worry about that Carla.” Then she said “Carla I am going to leave you now and will see you when you are back in your body ok? I love you...”

“Carla open your eyes honey you're all done.”

“Mmmuummeee, I can't see.”

“if you open your eyes you can.”

“Oh it's all blurry like last time.”

Judy said, “You'll be right in a minute Sweetheart.”

I rubbed my eyes and they started to clear. Mummy was holding my hand and I said “Have I been in the theatre yet?”

“Yes Carla, all done, all bandaged up for a couple of days but you will look just like me and Rita and even be able to have babies.”

“Mummy - Mummy it hurts a lot. Can I have something to take the pain away?”

Judy was already getting a needle ready to put into a thing that was in my arm. Mummy said, “Rest now my baby” and I was with the pixies once again.

I must have slept a few hours because the clock on the little radio said it was five thirty. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room but there was no one in the room with me so I pressed the button that was on a lead and left laying on my tummy. It took no more than a minute for Judy to be there and she said, “Hello Sleeping Beauty, how do you feel?”

I said, “I need to do a pee!”

“Well you have a catheter in so you don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Oh ok, can I have a look at myself now.”

Judy replied, “Not for a couple of days darling, you are all bandaged up but when we change the bandages tomorrow I might let you have a little peek ok?”

I replied, “Am I a complete girl now?”

Judy said “Just like me honey, but without wrinkles and stretch marks”

“Will I get stretch marks too?”

“If you have six kids like me yeah.”

“Wow you have six kids.”

“And four granddaughters.”

I asked, “Does it hurt much when you give birth?”

“I'm afraid it does, but it was all worth the pain.”

Mummy walked through the door and said, “Pain, are you still in pain Carla?”

“No Mummy but giving birth does.”

Mummy looked at Judy who shrugged and said “She asked me if childbirth hurts.”

Mummy replied, “Carla darling, that is a long way off but yes it hurts.”

It was dinner time and the trays of food were delivered to the rooms. They even had some for Mummy which was nice because Judy likes Mummy and said we might as well get our money's worth.

Mummy said “Jenny is coming to visit in the morning as well as her Mum and they will get here by taxi because Don is doing some business on the other side of town and needs the hire car to do that. I will be here early in the morning because I want to be here when they change the dressing and also want to talk with Doctor Stanford.”

I said, “Who is doctor Stanford?”

“Caroline silly.”

“Ohh I didn't know her last name, sorry Mummy.”

”Sweetheart, sometimes when people are talking to you, you go into dreamland don’t you?”

“Yes Mummy.”

Judy came in and said, “Carla, Caroline was going to see you this afternoon but she got called away on a family matter but she will be here in the morning. If you have any questions to asked her write them down.”

Mummy stayed for another hour and I was getting tired so she said, “Carla, you are dropping off to sleep while I am talking to you, so I will go now and let you get some rest.”

She hugged me and kissed me and left to go to the motel for the night. I drifted of to sleep with Jean singing to me once again in her angel-like voice.

“The night wind sings a song to me
In whispered hushes that seem to be lullabies low.
That come and go.
That come and go so gently
Through the trees.
A sleepy song to me.”

To be continued

Next time: discovery, recovery, and home to the outback.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

Mummy stayed for another hour and I was getting tired so she said, “Carla you are dropping of to sleep while I am talking to you so I will go now and let you get some rest.”

She hugged me and kissed me and left to go to the motel for the night. I drifted off to sleep with Jean singing to me once again in her angel-like voice.

“The night wind sings a song to me
In whispered hushes that seem to be lullabies low.
That come and go.
That come and go so gently
Through the trees.
A sleepy song to me.”

Saturday 11/7/59.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone was stroking my hair which made me wake up with a start. It was Caroline and she said, “Sorry Carla, I didn't mean to startle you.”

Mummy was also there already and said “Good morning sweetheart.”

Just then Judy walked in with a tray full of stuff.

She said “Good morning little girl are you ready to have the dressing changed?”

I replied, “Will I get to see what I look like now?”

Mummy waved a hand mirror around and said, “This mirror has got a magnified side as well, so you can get a good look at what you look like Carla.”

I still had that silly hose stuck in me to drain my pee into a yucky bag beside the bed.

I asked “How long will that hose be in me Judy?

She replied “That all depends how you look when we get that dressing off sweetheart, and what Caroline says.”

Caroline was asking Mummy how she was coping with staying at the motel and said, “Donna, if you wanted to stay in a relatives room at the clinic it will be made available to you.”

Mummy replied,“That would be great Caroline. I’ll get my things and book out of the motel this morning by ten am and bring all our things down here.”

Caroline said “Good, it will be much more convenient for all concerned to have you close by and keep Carla company for the next five days. I’ll let them know downstairs to get the room ready for you.”

Mummy said “The only thing is if Jenny has to come back to me a little early is there enough room for her as well?”

Caroline replied “Donna, it is a family size apartment so that will be no problem at all.”

Anyway, while they were talking Judy was busy unwrapping me bit by bit and finally I was all unwrapped and all that was left was that hose stuck inside me.

Caroline came over to the bed to inspect her handiwork and said “Wow Carla, you have already started to heal and I think we will take the hose (as you put it so eloquently) out of you and see how it goes, but if you have any problems peeing then it will have to go in again, ok?”

I just nodded and said “Can I have a look now please?”

Mummy held the mirror between my legs so I could see my brand new look. I was looking and started to cry because I had been waiting so long for this to happen, and now all my feelings came to one big emotional event. Mummy put the mirror down and sat on the bed and hugged me and said, “Carla, at last you are whole and it looks exactly like it should.”

I closed my eyes and said “Jean can you see it?” She was there in my mind as always and said, “Carla we are both the same now. I love you.” and she faded as I opened my eyes.

Judy said “Is that what Rose was telling us about the twin talking to Carla?”

Mummy replied “Yes, and it has been recorded on tape and film now several times and believe me it is real.”

Judy replied, “Oh Donna don't worry, I have seen it all before. When my sister passed away years ago she used to visit me in my dreams when she first died.”

Caroline then proceeded to remove the catheter 'see I can say the word', and said, “Ok, this all looks really good but we are going to have to put a light dressing back on the stitches and when you show me you can pee I will leave you in peace for a while.”

I got up off the bed with Mummy and Judy holding me as I walked to the bathroom, but before I sat down to have a pee I wanted to have a look in the large mirror on the wall so I pulled up the silly hospital gown and had a real good look.

I said “Mummy look, my willy's not there any more!!”

Caroline said “Sweetheart, you never had a willy in the first place. It has always been a clitoris but because the opening to your vagina was closed off with skin, it looked like you had a penis and when you were born they just did not look close enough to realise that you were an intersexed little girl.”

Judy then said “Now Carla, don’t be tempted to touch yourself for a couple days because we don’t want you to get an infection do we?”

I said “Ok” and sat down and did my first pee as a real girl and had no problems doing it.

Caroline said “Ok, that all looks like everything is working so we can leave the catheter out, but make sure that Judy or your Mum is there to wipe you dry after you go, understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Caroline left to see to her other patients and Judy said, “Right little one, up on the bed and I will put a dressing back on but it will be one that will be easy to remove when you have to have a pee.”

Mummy said “You had better show me how to replace the dressing as well because I will be staying in this room most of the time as I want to give Carla some school work to catch up on as well.”

I said “Mummy do I have to?”

She replied “Yes you have to!!” When Mummy says it like that I just do it. Even my magic eyes wont make her change her mind. Oh well 'sigh'.

Judy also said, “Now Carla you were taking hormones before you had that emergency in Brisbane didn't you?”

I replied, “Yes, but I haven't been taking any since then.”

“Good, you can stop taking anything like that because your little ovaries were kick-started by the oestrogen and that is why you had that first period so quickly. Only problem was the blood couldn’t escape out of your body. You were very lucky that they got to you in time otherwise you would be with your twin sister now.”

I said, “Judy, how long will it be before I will have breasts?”

She replied, “I should think that you will start to develop fairly quickly now that your own body is producing the required hormones. Ok Carla, I am going to leave you to your mother now and will see to some of my other patients.”

Mummy said, “Sweetheart, I am going to go and collect our things from the motel and bring them back here to the relatives' apartment and then I’ll be back to look after you. If Jenny and her Mum turn up before I get back you will have to tell them what we are doing.”

“Ok Mummy, but what if I need to go to the toilet?”

“Carla what is that thing laying on your bed?”

“What!! Oh that thing, it's a buzzer.”

“Well if you need to go you know what to do don’t you?”

“Yes Mummy.”

Mummy went to get the things from the motel and while she was gone I decided to look at what school work she had for me to do. It was mainly reading-type study and only one page of maths to solve. I thought I would surprise her and started to do the maths, but it was really hard to concentrate because my mind kept wondering off , thinking about my future and having babies of my own.

I thought of Ricky and wondered if he would be a good Dad and what he was going to be like with me being a real girl with all the working parts to go with it. I finally settled down and did some reading about Captain Cook and his voyage of discovery in the ship Endeavour, all boring stuff to me. I would rather read about the Red Centre and how the explorers survived in the desert with the help of some Aboriginals showing them how to find water in the desert and live off the land, but most of the early explorers perished in the heat after they had no provisions left. People still die in the desert today, usually if their car breaks down and they start to walk to get help. The unwritten rule is to always stay with your car if you want to be found.

Anyway history lesson over. I needed to pee but Mummy still wasn't back yet so I guessed I had better press the panic button and annoy one of the nurses to come and help me in the toilet. I held the button down and heard a bell go off down the hall somewhere and heard someone running toward my room. Of course it was Judy and all out of breath she said “Hey!! What’s up honey —you in pain or something?”

I replied “I have to pee and Mummy isn't back yet.”

“Oh is that all? Ok, come on than I’ll do the honours and help you.”

I said “I’m sorry, did I take you away from another patient?”

Judy replied “Carla, you are my patient. I was just filling out some boring forms that's all.”

She took me in to the toilet and removed the dressing once more and I sat and did my business.

Judy said, “How does that feel honey?”

I replied, “Ooh it burns a little bit but it feels so good to be doing this like a proper girl without a willy poking out from me.”

Judy said “Carla, remember what Caroline said about that, she said you never really had a willy in the first place and the only reason it even looked like one is because your clitoris couldn’t get inside your body.”

I said “Yeah, it's a pity that the the doctor didn't have a closer look at me when they finally did arrived at the station four hours after I was born and Jean had already passed away.” I was in tears after I said this and Judy had to wipe me clean and take me back to the bed to replace the dressing.

I got back on the bed and had to have a good cry and get it out of my system. Judy sat beside me with her arm around me and said, “It's ok Darling, just let it out. You have had a bad time of it haven’t you?” I finally stopped sobbing as Mummy came back into the room.

She said, “Carla what's happened, why are you so upset?”

Judy replied, “Donna it's ok, the dam just broke that's all. It's a girl thing, you know !!”

“Oh is that all?” Mummy smiled and said, “Join the club little girl” and gave me a hug.

Judy said, “Ok kid, lets get this dressing back on, and we will see what it's like tomorrow and see if we can't leave it off. If it is healing ok we might be able to get away with a sanitary pad instead and then you will be able to go to the loo by yourself.”

It was now ten thirty and the morning tea trolley was being wheeled around the clinic.

The lady poked her head in the door and said “Tea, coffee or juice?”

I said, “Juice.”

Mummy said, “Tea with two sugars please.”

Judy got up to leave and said, “Don’t forget to ask for the chocolate bickies will you?” and she disappeared down the hallway.

Mummy said, “Darling I’m sorry I took so long but I had to come back here to borrow a trolley to put all our things on to bring it all here. There was just too much to carry by hand.”

I replied, “It's ok Mummy, Judy came really quickly when I pressed the button, and I just couldn't help having a cry.”

“Oh Carla my sweet child, if only I had insisted that I go to Charleville to give birth at the time none of this would have happened in the first place. You would have a sister alive and well now.” Mummy was now in tears as well which started me off again too. We must look a sad sight with the two of us sitting on my bed hugging and rocking each other.

Just then Jenny and her Mum Jan walked into the room and Jenny ran over to the bed and sat beside me and started to cry as well.

Jan said, “What on earth has brought all this on?”

Mummy got off the bed and said, “Jan I’m sorry, I just got all emotional when I remembered back to when all this started. I will tell you about it one day.” She said, “Jan lets go for a walk and let Jenny and Carla have a little bit of time by themselves.”

Jenny dried her eyes and said, “I'm sorry Sis but when I walked in I thought that something bad had happened.”

I replied, “No Jenny, it all happened nine years ago on River Downs.” I then said, “How is your Gran doing?”

“Oh Carla she is quite ill and has cancer so I don’t think she will ever go home again.”

I replied, “Oh no, that’s so sad. I’m sorry sis.”

Jenny replied, “Thanks Carla, she is a very old lady so it is expected.” She then said, “I would rather talk about you now. What's it feel like to be complete sis?”

I replied, “Well it stings a bit when I pee but that will go away in a couple of days.”

Jenny said, “Ooh can I see?”

I replied, “Well if you want see I will have to get Judy to come and take the dressing off.”

I pressed the button and Judy was there in seconds and said, “Carla, surely you don’t have to pee again so soon do you? At this rate I will run out of dressings.”

I replied, “No but Jenny would like to see the new me.”

Judy said, “Well I suppose it won't hurt to unwrap you once more, ok than.”

Judy was careful not to ruin the dressing so it could be returned to its place. I lay there with my legs apart and let Jenny have a peek at the new me and all she could say is, “Oh my God it looks the same as mine.”

I replied, “I hope so and when the stitches come out I will look even better.”

Judy said, “Ok, show time over.” and put me back together.

Mummy and Jan came back and Jan was sniffling as though she had been crying and Jenny said, “Mummy what is wrong? You have been crying.”

“Yes Jenny, Donna has just told me the whole story about two little twins being born and how one didn't make it, and why it all happened. Jenny! You are so lucky to have Carla as a friend, do you know that?”

“Yes Mummy I do.”

Jan had to get back the hospital where Jenny's Gran is and get some legal papers signed by her so she said goodbye to Jenny and left.

I said “Aren’t you going with your Mum Jenny?”

She replied “No I'm going to stay with you.” It really looked like Jenny was just in the way, and when Jan left, Jenny sat next to me on the bed and started to cry.

Mummy said, “Jenny it's alright darling, we're here for you, and love you more than you know. Don’t be to hard on your mum. She is under lot of stress at the moment.”

“Aunty Donna, her and Daddy are splitting up and I am in the middle and not wanted, I never have been.”

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry I didn't know.”

“Aunty Donna, can I stay with you when we go home to Quilpie?”

“Yes of course you can Sweetheart, — can't she Carla?”

I replied while I held Jenny's hands and said “Jenny you are just like a sister to me and I love you , we will be like twins.”

Mummy said “I was wondering why your Mum asked me to look after you for a while, but she didn't tell me about them splitting up, but don’t worry Jennifer, everything will be ok and I will certainly be happy to have you live with us on a permanent basis if need be.”

I said “Jenny you will be staying just downstairs with Mummy in the apartment that is set up to have relatives stay in the complex while patients are being treated, to be close by.”

The next five days were spent with me healing up and I only had to have a pad in my panties to make sure that there was no harsh rubbing on the stitches which were to be taken out back home by Doc Ryan in seven days time. Caroline came and inspected her handy work once a day and was satisfied that I could go home on Wednesday morning.

Mummy also had Jenny and I doing more boring school work ''rolling eyes'' but we also talked about the up and coming school holidays and Mummy's wedding with me and Jenny in our pretty gowns.

Wednesday 15/7/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was packed and ready to go. Mummy had rung for a taxi to be there at nine am to take us to the airport to catch a flight back to Brisbane and then home from there with Rodney and his new twin engine Cessna. Judy and Caroline had one last look at me and gave me a clean bill of health before they left and said goodbye to me. I had one last question for Caroline and said, “Why don’t I have to poke a thing into me to keep me from closing up?”

Caroline replied “I was wondering when you were going to ask me that, — well Carla because we didn't have to do any surgery inside you all we did was to open you up, you are normal girl we just had to cut a bit of skin away and there was your beautiful vagina.” Question answered, we were on our way to the airport in a yellow taxi.

Jenny was tearful and said, “My parents don’t want me. I’m not important to them any more.”

Mummy was sitting in the front seat of the cab and turned and said “Oh sweetheart I’m sure they both love you very much.”

Jenny replied through her tears, “Well I don’t care what they do now as long as I have you and Carla I don’t care if I never see them again.”

Mummy told the cab driver to pull over so she could get in the back with me and Jenny, once Mummy was in the back we both held Jenny's hands but didn't say anything till we got out of the car at the airport. It was really hard for me to say too much because I was close to crying any time I wanted to say something to Jenny, so I just kept on holding her hand.

Mummy paid the cab driver and eventually we were on the plane back to Brisbane. By lunch time we were in Debbie's taxi going from Brisbane airport to Mary's apartment. Debbie had all sorts of questions she asked me about what I had done to me but Mummy said, “Debbie, Carla and Jenny have had a bad day and I don’t think Carla is up to answering to many questions at the moment. All I can say is that all went really well medically.”

Debbie replied “Ok luv, I understand.” Nothing more was said on the way to the apartment.

Debbie pulled up outside of the apartment building and got out of the cab to remove all our baggage from the trunk and then she gave us a hand to carry it all up to the apartment. Mummy invited Debbie in for a cup of tea and to my surprise she said it was a slow day and why not?

I thought 'Oh no, more questions.' but she and Mummy started chatting about Mummy's up and coming wedding, which was a relief because I really didn't want to talk about me when poor Jenny was so down about being told that her parents were splitting up.

Debbie said goodbye and left. Mummy unpacked a few things to tide us over for that night and some of the following day, and she said, “Girls we are going to be going home tomorrow so I wont unpack to much stuff.”

I replied, “What about Rose Mummy, are we going to go and see her before we go home?”

“No, Rose is coming around here with Mary when she finishes her shift and you will see her then ok?”

“Ok Mummy I think Jenny and I will lay down have a bit of a rest we are both tired from all the travelling.”

Jenny and I must have fallen asleep because Samantha came into the room we were in and said, “Hello you two, Mummy will be home with Rose soon so it might pay to be awake when they arrive.”

Jenny and I rubbed our eyes and got off the bed and walked out into the lounge just as the door opened and in walked Mary and Rose. Once we were hugged and kissed we settled down and and were interrogated by the two women.

I answered all the questions and then Rose said “Alright little Carla, let's have a look at the job they did for you.”

I replied “What, in front of everyone?”

Rose said “Carla, if you were in a girl's dressing room what would you do?”

I replied “Well I guess I would have to get undressed and be like all the other girls in the room.”

Mummy looked at me and said, “Well!!”

I said “Ok here goes” and I took off the denim skirt I was wearing and stood there for a couple of minutes, and said, “Ok ok!! I’m doing it.” I pulled my panties down and they still had a pad in them to make sure there was no rubbing occurring on the stitches.

Rose knelt down and had a good look and said, “Wow Carla that is perfect.”

Samantha said, “Will I look as good as that too Rose?”

Rose said, “If you go to that clinic and get Caroline to do the surgery I don't see why not Sam.”

I said, “Can I get get dressed now please?”

Rose replied, “Oh sorry Carla, of course you can and you are a very brave little girl and I am proud of you.”

Just then I could feel Jean wanting to communicate with me and I said out loud “What is it Jean?”

Jean said in my mind, “Carla, do not say anything about what I am about to tell you. It is too early to tell but Jenny's Mum has been hurt. Do not say anything to Jenny till I communicate with you again ok?”

I said “Ok.”

Everyone except Mummy was looking at me to tell them what Jean wanted. I just shrugged my shoulders and said, “She just wanted to tell me she loved me.”

They all accepted that but Mummy gave me a knowing look.

Rose stayed a bit longer and then said she would see me in a couple months, with time to do some more work on the twin study if that was ok with me.

I said, “Yes” and Mummy nodded as well.

Mummy then made a few phone calls and asked Rodney to fly us home tomorrow morning. After she was told what time Rodney would be at the airport she gave Debbie a call and arranged for her to take us out to the airport at nine am in the morning. Later Mary took us out to a restaurant for dinner because it would be a while before we were in Brisbane again and wanted to give us a treat.

We arrived back at the apartment and went to bed by nine pm. Jenny, Samantha and myself slept in a threesome hug all night to keep Jenny from worrying about her parents. Before I went to bed Mummy asked me to go to the bathroom because she wanted to make sure I was healing alright but it was to talk about what Jean had said to me. When Jean was communicating with me Mummy concentrated as well and also heard the message.

She said, “Carla we will be home just after lunch tomorrow so all we can do is wait and see what has happened to Jan ok?”

“Ok Mummy.”

We were at the airport on time and Rodney was checking out the plane for the return flight back to Quilpie. Nobody said much on the flight home. Mummy and I were worried about what had happened to Jenny's Mum and Jenny was worried about her parents break-up and felt hurt. I thought she was going to need me more than ever now.

To be continued.

Next time: Tissues required for this one.

Please leave a comment.

Previously

We arrived back at the apartment and went to bed by nine pm. Jenny, Samantha and myself slept in a threesome hug all night to keep Jenny from worrying about her parents. Before I went to bed Mummy asked me to go to the bathroom because she wanted to make sure I was healing alright but it was to talk about what Jean had said to me. When Jean was communicating with me Mummy concentrated as well and also heard the message.

She said, “Carla we will be home just after lunch tomorrow so all we can do is wait and see what has happened to Jan ok?”

“Ok Mummy.”

We were at the airport on time and Rodney was checking out the plane for the return flight back to Quilpie. Nobody said much on the flight home. Mummy and I were worried about what had happened to Jenny's Mum and Jenny was worried about her parents break-up and felt hurt. I thought she was going to need me more than ever now.

Thursday 16/7/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a smooth flight home. Rodney is a really good pilot and the new Cessna was really comfortable inside and not very noisy like Tom's chopper, but the chopper is more fun to be in. Daddy was waiting for us at the aerodrome when Rodney taxied right up to where Daddy had the Land Rover parked with all the refuelling gear ready to refuel the Cessna for its next flight. As we all got out of the plane Uncle Tony turned up in his new Land Rover to take us home and leave Daddy to refuel Rodney’s plane .

Daddy gave us all a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said he will see us in about an hour.

Mummy said, “Hey mister, come back here and give me a proper kiss or I will have to break your legs.”

Daddy replied, “Oh Donna darling, I didn't see you there.”

“Watch it” said Mummy and grabbed Daddy by his shirt and gave him one of her toe-curling kisses.

Daddy said, when Mummy finished the kiss, “Darling you can break my legs any time you want.”

Both Jenny and I said in unison rolling our eyes, “Please get a room!!”

Uncle Tony also gave us three ladies a hug and a kiss on the cheek and loaded all our bags into the back of his Land Rover and waited for us to get in so he could drive us home.

Tony pulled into the restaurant to pick up some lunch so we all got out and walked inside to be greeted by Rita, Linda, and Alice. Rita come and hugged me and said, “Is it all done little sister?”

I replied, “Yeah I’m exactly like you now Sis and I can have babies too.”

Rita said, “Slow down Carla, you are only nine years old.”

I replied with a cheeky grin, “I've had my first period so I am a woman now.”

Alice and Linda laughed when I said that, and Mummy said, “Carla you might have had your first period but it might take you a bit longer to become a woman.”

I replied, “Yeah whatever.” and rolled my eyes, which set both me and Jenny of into a fit of giggles.

Uncle Tony said, “Hoy!! what about some service over here at the counter?”

Rita said, “Ok–ok, keep your shirt on Uncle Tony.”

He replied, “Never mind about my shirt. Food! is what I need.”

Once the banter was finished, Mummy gave a hand to make some sandwiches for us to take home.

I asked Rita, “Where is aunty Bella?”

“Oh she went to the dentist just before you lot came barging in here demanding food.” while she was looking at Uncle Tony. Don't look at me, they made me do it.” pointing at us. Anyway we got our food and said bye to Rita and the others and got into Uncle Tony's Land Rover and went home.

When we arrived Ginger was so exited to see my she actually knocked me over and started licking my face.

I said, “Yuck Ginger, I love you too but not your big wet tongue.” I couldn't even get up till Mummy grabbed her by the collar and made her sit and behave. Then Jenny knelt down and put her arms around Gingers neck and gave her a hug.

Jenny said, “Ginger, at least you love me, my Mum and Dad don't.”

Uncle Tony looked at Mummy, but she shook her head to give Uncle Tony the message not to say anything more.

We carried all our things into the house and then set about eating a late lunch. Daddy walked through the kitchen door just as we were unwrapping the sandwiches and said, “I hope there are enough sandwiches so I can have some too?”

Mummy replied, “Of course darling, would I not feed my beautiful man?”

Another kiss was in order. Daddy said, after Mummy kissed him, “Wow, twice in one day, I hope this keeps happening after we're married?”

After lunch, Daddy and Tony went back to work, and Mummy said, “We should all have a bit of a lay down, especially you Carla. I don't want you straining those stitches.”

Both Jenny and I replied, “Yes Mummy.”

I think it made Jenny fell better when she was allowed to get away with that and Mummy really didn't mind being called mummy by Jenny because we had become almost like twin sisters anyway. We had a sleep for about half an hour and got off the bed, had a drink and went outside to throw the ball with Ginger because she needs the exercise and there was nobody to give her that while we were away. It was getting quite cold and there was a westerly wind blowing most of the day so that made it even colder. In the morning there would be a white frost covering the last remaining grass in the yard.

I gave Ginger her meal and she went into her kennel but she does not get tied up because she is allowed to come into my room at night if she wants to. Fluffy is her own boss and does whatever she wants, which is sleep most of her days away in the warm sun on the verandah.

It was getting late and beginning to get dark outside so Jenny and I went into the warm kitchen which was always warm because of the combustion stove that never went out and I had to keep the wood box beside it filled up with chopped wood.

Jenny and I helped Mummy peel the potatoes and other vegetables. The meat had been put on at three o’clock to let it cook slowly. It was a topside roast and it was now time to put the veggies in with the roast and in an hour's time it would be ready to serve. Jenny and I went into the lounge to watch some telly till tea time.

Jenny said, “Carla, what am I going to do if Mummy and Daddy don’t come back?”

I replied, “Sis they will, but if they don't, well!! Mummy has gained another daughter hasn't she?”

Jenny had tears running down her face and she said, “Carla I’m scared about what will happen to me.”

I hugged her tight and said, “Jenny we all love you, so stop worrying will you?”

Mummy called out to us and said, “Alright girls, time to set the table - everyone is home now so we can eat.”

Rita and Daddy were talking in the lounge about changing something in the restaurant kitchen when Mummy said, “Don't you two go change anything in that kitchen without you telling me or there will be trouble!!” while she was pointing at them with a pair of tongs.

Both Rita and Daddy said “Yes ma'am” standing to attention and saluting her.

It all settled down after that and we sat down to eat a baked roast, potatoes, and veggies. There was also mummy's home made gravy,- yummy. For desert there was ice cream and tinned pears. It was winter time and the garden was growing cabbage, beetroot and carrots. so no strawberries that night.

After dinner we all helped clean up and put everything away and went into the lounge where Daddy had turned on the kerosene heater to warm up the large room. Before Daddy turned on the telly, Mummy brought Daddy and Rita up to date on everything that had happened over the last week that we were away.

Jenny was in tears when she said to Mummy, “Don't forget to tell them about my Mum and Dad splitting up, and that they don’t want me any more.”

“Oh Jenny I’m sorry, sweetheart.” replied Daddy and he sat down beside her and held her while she sobbed into his shoulder. The sadness effected all of us and the telly didn't get turned on and we all retired to our bedrooms.

I was lying in bed beside Jenny and had my arm around her as she fell asleep. I could feel Jean trying to communicate with me and as I closed my eyes she was in my mind telling me to come to Mummy's bedroom, I gently got out of bed and slipped out of the room, down to Mummy's bedroom. Mummy knew what I was there for and whispered, “Come in to bed with me and Daddy darling.”

I climbed in under the covers and Mummy said, “I think Jean has something to tell us Carla.”

Mummy and I closed our eyes and saw Jean sitting at the end of the bed and she said, “Mummy, tell Daddy to hold your hand and close his eyes and not open them and he will be able to hear me as well.” Mummy did as Jean said and Daddy joined us in this communication with my twin sister.

Jean said. “It is sad news for Jenny but her Mum has crossed over into the spirit world. I had to wait tell you this because the doctors were still trying to save her but failed. I wish I could have done something but she was hurt too badly and passed over. Carla, Jenny is going to need you and me to be close to her.” and then Jean faded as she said, “I love you.”

Daddy lay there in shock and said nothing.

Mummy said, “Carla, go and get back into bed with Jenny and say nothing. We must not try to change the way this is happening, do you understand?”

“Yes Mummy, I understand.” I went back and got back into bed without waking Jenny up, but I did not go to sleep.

It was midnight when the phone rang, and I heard Mummy answer it. “Hello yes this is she, yes her daughter is staying with me. No, that is not a good idea. Yes in the morning. Can I have your number please? Thank you bye.”

Mummy went back into her bedroom and I heard her talking softly to Daddy. I must have dropped of to sleep because it was daylight when opened my eyes. We must have slept in because when I looked at the radio clock it said eight o'clock. We weren’t going back to school till Monday so I suppose Mummy let us sleep.

Friday morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jenny and I got up and had a shower together and got dressed in some warm winter clothes and went to the kitchen where Rita, Daddy, and Mummy were about to make Jenny's world fall apart.

Jenny said, “Good morning all, and said why is everyone still here and not at work?”

Mummy said “Jenny, come and sit down beside me sweetheart. I have something to tell you.”

Jenny said, “It's about my parents isn't it Aunty Donna?”

Mummy replied and held Jenny's hands and said, “Sweetheart, your mummy had a bad car accident and was hurt really bad and she passed away last night while the doctors were trying to save her but she didn't make it.” Jenny didn't speak and just stared at Mummy. Mummy kept hold of Jenny's hands and pulled her in close but didn't speak, she just held her tight and had tears streaming down her face as she looked over to me.

I couldn’t stop my tears from coming and put my arm around Jenny who was now shaking but not crying, she has gone into shock. Daddy got up and went to the phone and called Doctor Ryan and told him to come quickly.

Rita was stunned and couldn’t speak. She also had tears running down her cheeks and knelt down and in front of Jenny and took one of her hands.

All of a sudden Jenny let out a loud scream and then started to wail and kept saying, “Nooo---nooo, not dead!” There were no tears, she was shaking and wailing but no tears, Mummy just kept holding on to her and after about five minutes of shaking she finally let the tears come.

Daddy came back into the room and went straight to Jenny and picked her up and carried her into the lounge and lay her down on the couch and said, “Jenny, Doctor Ryan will be here in a minute and give you something to calm you down ok?”

Jenny sat up and put her arms around Daddy's neck and and cried into his chest.

Daddy just said “I know it hurts darling. It will be alright, I am here for you.”

Jenny's sobbing slowed down as Daddy held her and gently stroked her hair. Jim Ryan was there and came over to where Jenny was being held by Daddy and said “Jenny sweetheart, I am going to give you a needle to relax you ok?”

Jenny just nodded and the doc gave her the needle. Daddy didn't let go of Jenny and just sat there rocking her till she fell asleep in his arms. Daddy's face was now also wet from tears and his nose was starting to run so I got some tissues and kept wiping his eyes and nose He is my special Daddy and I love him.

Doctor Ryan gave Mummy some pills for Jenny in case she couldn't settle down when she woke up. I was beside myself and really didn't know what to do next.

Mummy could see I was in trouble and came and hugged me and said, “Carla sweetheart, you are going to have to be really strong and help Jenny cope with her grief. If you need help ask Jean to tell you what to do. We will get through this one way or another.”

“Yes Mummy I’ll be strong.”

While Daddy stayed with Jenny, Mummy rang Sydney to find out what had happened. Jenny's mum was hit by a large truck head on and it was found that she was on the wrong side of the road. I asked Mummy later, and it looked like Jan had done it on purpose. Rita got a taxi to go to work. Daddy stayed home so he could be there for Jenny. He probably remembered his son Paul doing the same thing.

When Jenny woke up she was calm because the needle that the doc gave her still effected her, and Mummy even got her to eat something. None of us had eaten any breakfast so we were all hungry. Jenny came out into the kitchen and started talking normal again and she said to me, “Carla you knew didn't you?”

I didn't know what to do so I just told her the truth and said, “Jean said your Mum is on the other side and that is all I know Jenny.”

Jenny replied, “Yeah, well it should have been Daddy - he made mummy do it.”

I said, “Jenny, she was on the wrong side of the road.”

Jenny said “Now I know why she wanted me to stay with you.”

Jenny's Dad rang and said he was going to come home and sort out the funeral arrangements. Jan's remains would be flown to Charleville and then brought to Quilpie by road from there. He wanted to talk to Jenny but she said “No” and she will never talk to him again. This was really hard for me. Every time I tried to talk to Jenny the lump in my throat just got big and I started getting tears in my eyes so I ended up just giving her another hug.

Mummy said “Just be with her Carla, you cant do any more.” Jenny was now just staring into space and not saying anything.

I went to get a drink and Mummy said quietly, “Carla it is part of the grieving process and she will have to work through it, so don’t make her talk but be with her. She will get angry and cry, but it has to come out if she is going to survive this.”

The rest of the day I stayed with Jenny constantly. We both cried and laughed at the same time, and then at four in the afternoon Jenny said. “Carla I need to be by myself for a bit. I will go and sit on the verandah, I just need to think, I'll be ok now.”

I replied, “Jenny, please don’t shut me out. I want to help you through this and I love you.”

Jenny said, “Carla,- sis — I -I - need to think but I will not shut you out - ever.”

I replied, “I'll just be inside ok?” I walked inside and the dam broke. I had to run to the other side of the house and out the back so Jenny couldn’t hear me.

Rita came looking for me and found me out in the backyard on my knees sobbing and praying to God asking what this is all about.

Rita said, “Carla, you have to be strong for Jenny. You are the closest person to her, so have your cry and get back and stay with her.”

I replied in between sobs, “She - w–aa--n-nts to b-e-e alone.”

“Go back and hold her and talk to her. Tell her everything will be ok. Don’t let her out off your sight. We don’t want her running of somewhere.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and went back out to where Jenny was still sitting staring into space.

She turned to me and said “Carla thanks, I love you too and I will get over this.” She then said, “Carla you said something earlier that Jean told you Mummy was on the other side. Does that mean I will be able to talk to Mummy through you?”

I replied, “I don't know Jenny, but we can try if you want.”

We went and told Mummy what we were about to do and Mummy said, “Come to the bathroom first and I will wash your faces with some cold water. Your eyes are that red from crying it's a wonder you can see out of them.”

Mummy said, “Jenny, do you want me to be with you while Carla tries to make contact with your Mum?”

“Yes Aunty Donna please.”

It was already dark outside so we went to my bedroom and the three of us lay down on my Queen sized bed. Mummy was in the middle holding both our hands.

I said, “Here goes, close your eyes.”

Jean was already there and said, “Jenny, I am sorry for your grief and pain but your Mummy is here with me to say goodbye to you.”

Jenny's mum was wearing a beautiful white gown and said as clear as day, “Jenny sweetheart, I am ok. Don’t blame Daddy for what has happened. I love you.” and then she faded.

Jenny didn't have a chance to say anything before her Mummy was gone but Jean said, “She will find happiness here Jenny.” and then Jean said, “I have used up all my energy and will have to go now” and she faded as she said “I love you.”

Jenny said, “Carla, do you think I will see Mummy again?”

I replied, “I don’t know Jenny but probably not for a while. It must have taken an awful lot of energy for Jean to have done that.”

Jenny said, “Carla, did you see what Mummy was wearing? It was the most beautiful gown I have ever seen.”

I said, “Yeah, I bet they don’t make them to look like that here.”

Jenny smiled for the first time that day and said, “Aunty Donna — Mummy.” and Mummy just said “It's ok Jenny darling, you can call me Mummy if you want.”

Jenny's Dad came to talk with Jenny and wanted her to come home with him but Jenny flatly refused and said she would stay with us or she would run away. Her Dad then had a long conversation with Mummy and Daddy and left.

The funeral was held on Wednesday the twenty second of July at ten am. Most of the town was there. Jenny and I had three red roses that we put on the coffin as it was being lowered into the ground and we both knelt down and said the Lords Prayer. A lady was singing 'Amazing Grace' as the coffin went down into the earth and Father Brian started to say a prayer Jenny was not crying but held onto Mummy's hand as we walked away from her Mothers grave.

Author's note: This has been a hard chapter to write and has brought back sad memories of my childhood. My friend Jenny ''not her real name'' still keeps in touch with me after sixty years.

Jean

To be continued.

Next time: life and school goes back to normal. School, school holidays and the wedding getting close !!

Please leave a comment.

Jenny's Dad came to talk with Jenny and wanted her to come home with him but Jenny flatly refused and said she would stay with us or she would run away. Her Dad then had a long conversation with Mummy and Daddy and left.

The funeral was held on Wednesday the twenty second of July at ten am. Most of the town was there. Jenny and I had three red roses that we put on the coffin as it was being lowered into the ground and we both knelt down and said the Lords Prayer. A lady was singing 'Amazing Grace' as the coffin went down into the earth and Father Brian started to say a prayer. Jenny was not crying but held onto Mummy's hand as we walked away from her Mothers grave.

There was a wake at Jenny's house but she refused to go, so Mummy, Daddy,and Rita came home with Jenny and I. Jenny was very quiet and went to the bedroom to lie down.

Mummy said, “See if you can get Jenny to have a sandwich, and go and lay on the bed with her and just be there when she wants to talk.” I was hugging Jenny when she said, “Carla, I don’t want to leave here and go back home or live in Sydney, I just want to stay with you.”

I replied, “Sis, I think your Dad has already spoken to Mummy and Daddy and has agreed to let you stay with us anyway.”

Mummy came into the room and said, “Come on out to the kitchen and have some afternoon tea.”

Jenny said “I’m not very hungry Mu-- err —Mummy.”

“It's ok Jenny, you can call me Mummy. I don’t mind, it just means I have three daughters now.”

Mummy said, “Girls, you can relax for the rest of to day, but in four days time you two will have to go back to school and you need to do some catching up with your studies, so I am going to ring your teacher and find out what he wants you to catch up on.”

Jenny and I both groaned and said “Do we have to?”

Mummy replied, “Yes you sure do, I don’t want a pair of dummies living under my roof.”

I said, “What about Jean, doesn't she have to catch up too?”

“Carla don’t be silly, and get your bum out to the kitchen now!!” “

“Yesss Mummy.” Jenny and I held hands and walked to the kitchen with our nose in the air with Mummy having a giggle at our antics.

The next four days were spent doing boring school work, taking Ginger for her walks and visiting Aunty Bella and Uncle Tony. Jenny seemed to be feeling ok so we decide to go for a walk on Sunday after we had been to church, to the cemetery and visit the grave without any one else being there. When we got there we knelt down and started talking to Jan as if she could hear us and Jenny said, “I love you Mummy, but I now have a new Mummy as well so don't worry about me.” and then the dam broke and she sobbed while I held her in a tight hug for at least half an hour.

When she had cried herself out she looked at me and said, “Carla, I’m done crying.” and gave me a big smile through red eyes.

I smiled back and said, “Ok lets go home sis and see what's for lunch.”

It was near on lunch time when we got back. It is quite a long way out to where the cemetery is and it took us almost an hour and a half to get back home. Ginger was waiting with a wagging tail to meet us at the gate. Poor Ginger, she has not had us around for a couple of weeks but now we were back we would start spending more time with her. Mummy had done a roast for Sunday lunch and because Aunt Bella and Uncle Tony were there, the gravy for the roast was a special treat. It was Aunty Bella’s secret recipe !! but Mummy knows how to make it too because she watched aunty make it at the restaurant.

We did some more study after lunch, took Ginger for a walk to the park and just happened to ring Ricky before we left in the guise of asking him about what subjects were on at school in the morning. Billy was staying with Ricky while his parents were away in Sydney so it was double pleasure for two nine year old girls visiting the park. It was three o'clock when we reached the park on our bikes with Ginger following close behind. The boys were there already and greeted us with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Because Ricky and Billy were at the funeral they did not mention anything to Jenny about her Mother which was good because Jenny needed to move on now and all her friends would need to help her through the next few weeks. There was no grass left on the ground in the park and the prickles which we call 'bindi eyes' were really bad so shoes have to stay on

The four of us were the only ones at the park this afternoon, so no one could tell on us if we were being a little bit naughty and having a kiss while we were sitting on the park bench.

Ricky said, “So Carla, do you have to have any more surgery now or is it all done?”

I replied, “Ricky, I am all girl now and can have babies and everything!!”

Ricky looked at me and made big eyes and said, “Wooa!! Carla, too much information.” That set Jenny and I off on a giggling fit.

Billy looked at Ricky and said, “Well mate, women do that you know.”

Anyway we talked a bit more and thought we had better get back home before it started getting dark.

Billy kissed Jenny on the lips and she closed her eyes when the kiss ended and said “Mmmm that feels nice.”

Ricky said, “Carla may I kiss you like that too?” (Ricky is a real gentleman.)

I replied, “What are you waiting for?”

He said, “Carla, last time I kissed you on the lips Jean gave me an electric shock.”

I closed my eyes said out loud, “Jean, let Ricky kiss me without the zap from you please.”

I heard her giggling and she said, “Ok, only a little tingle than.”

Billy looked at Ricky with a funny look. Ricky said, “It's alright Billy, she does that all the time. She and Jean are connected to each other, you'll get used to to Carla and her sister in time.”

Ricky put his hands gently on either side of my face and gave me a toe curling kiss. I could feel the energy flowing from Jean through me right into Ricky. He pulled back still holding my face and looked into my eyes and said, “Carla, Jean I love you both.”

He then sat back and said “If I get to marry you Carla, I get Jean as well won't I?”

I replied, “We come as a package, so yes it will be a double wedding.” We had another quick kiss and walked hand in hand to where our bikes were and said bye till tomorrow and rode home all tingly from kissing.

It was just on dark when we got home and Daddy was just about to get in the car and come looking for us because we had no lights on our bikes.

Daddy said, “Girls, please keep an eye on the time next time you go out on your bikes, you know how much I worry about you kids.”

We got off our bikes and gave Daddy a two way hug and both said, “Sorry Daddy.”

He shook his head and mumbled something that sounded like, “Bloody hell!! How am I ever going to survive two nine year old girls?”

We ran up to him and held a hand each and pulled him up the front steps while Mummy was looking on with a smile on her face saying, “Get used to it darling, you are surrounded by women.”

Daddy replied, “Heaven help me.” rolling his eyes while he said it.

There were left-overs for dinner so there was no real cooking to be done other than to heat everything up.

While we were eating Rita said, “I hope you girls were behaving yourselves at the park this afternoon. I heard you talking to the boys before you went. There was no kissing was there?”

I am not allowed to tell lies or God will punish me, so I just said “Just one little one.”

I thought 'I wonder what what a big kiss would feel like?' Jenny was going red in the face when Rita looked at her, but Rita must have seen the look on Jenny's face and decide not to push it any further, much to Jenny’s relief.

Mummy said, “Ok girls, I want you to have a shower tonight ,so there's not a big rush on the bathroom in the morning.”

We replied, “Yes Mummy” and went and got our winter pyjamas and went to the bathroom to have a shower. Daddy was kind enough to have put the kerosene heater on so to make it a bit more comfortable being naked in the middle of winter, and yes he does spoil us rotten. I don't even have to use my magic eyes to make him melt and do what I want. Mummy says that is why she fell in love with Daddy because he is so gentle with us.

We got undressed and got into the warm water of the shower and we soaped each up. When the water was washing all the soap off us we just stood and looked at each and had a wet hug. We both had more than a little breast growth and when our budding nipples touched it was electric.

Jenny said, “Holy hell, that that is going right to the tip of my toes.”

I replied, “Jenny, I think we are being a bit naughty but you are right it feels fantastic and is sending shivers down to my new thingy.”

We almost fell over in the shower we giggled so hard.

Mummy knocked on the door and said, “Hoy!! don't use up all the hot water in there.” We both jumped in fright and got out dried ourselves off and put our winter pyjamas on. We forget to bring our woollen slippers so we had to run back to our bedroom over the icy cold floor boards.

We got our slippers and warm dressing gowns on and went to the kitchen to say good night to everyone. Mummy was just finishing ironing our school uniforms and told us to have a warm drink of milk and we could take the uniforms back to the bedroom with us. We had our milk and Mummy said, “I want you two to have your breakfast in the morning before you put your uniforms on. I won't have the time in the morning to iron any more clothes for you lot.”

We took our uniforms and got a kiss on the cheek from everyone and we made our way to the bedroom, careful not to drop our clean ironed uniforms. We weren’t long falling asleep and we both dreamed of kissing our future husbands.

Monday 27/7/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was nice and warm cuddled up in bed, but we had to get up and have our breakfast which Mummy had ready for us to eat. Daddy and Rita were already finished and said bye to us after they gave us quick peck on the cheek.

Daddy almost did the same to Mummy when she said, “Where are you sleeping tonight darling?”

Daddy replied, “In our bed, where else would I sleep?”

Mummy said, “Not if I don’t get a proper kiss you won't.”

Daddy said, “Shit, sorry darling,I could always stay home today and we can make whoopee!! for the rest of the day.”

Mummy replied, “Not in front of the children, William.”

Daddy said “There’s that name again.” and he gave Mummy a proper kiss on the lips and went quickly out the door telling Rita to hurry up or they would be late for work.

Mummy said, “I do love him. he is a funny gentle man and I hope you two will be as lucky and find some one like your Daddy to marry when you grow up.”

Jenny and I looked at each other and could hardly contain ourselves from giggling at what Mummy had said. As far as Jennifer and I were concerned we had already found our future husbands, whether they knew it or not. Girls are allowed to do that 'cos we control the world. We got dressed in our uniforms and then Mummy had two daughters that needed to have their hair done, so she told us to comb each other's hair and she would put it into a loose plait with the school ribbons in it to hold it all in place. When she was finished we looked in the full length mirror and did some twirls and were satisfied that we looked ok. Mummy said she wanted to see our teacher and would drive us to school this morning but we could start riding our bikes tomorrow.

We arrived at the school and were greeted by our class-mates at the gate and were inundated with questions about every thing that happened to us in the last couple of weeks. Brenda and June were the most excited, They were at the funeral but didn't get a chance to talk to Jenny and I because we did not go to Jenny's home after the funeral, so we had a lot to catch up on. Mummy came back from talking with Peter Taylor and said, “I’ll see you girls this afternoon ok?” We said bye, and it was time to go to morning assembly on the parade ground.

Carla and Jenny

To be continued;

Next time: school holidays, Brisbane exhibition and getting closer to the wedding!!

Please leave a comment.

We arrived at the school and were greeted by our class-mates at the gate and were inundated with questions about every thing that happened to us in the last couple of weeks. Brenda and June were the most excited, They were at the funeral but didn't get a chance to talk to Jenny and I because we did not go to Jenny's home after the funeral, so we had a lot to catch up on. Mummy came back from talking with Peter Taylor and said, “I’ll see you girls this afternoon ok.” We said bye, and it was time to go to morning assembly on the parade ground.

27/7/ 59

Not a lot had changed; same pep talk, different things happening and talk about the August holidays coming up. We all filed into our classrooms and started our first lesson for the day. It had to be maths didn't it? Oh well life wasn't meant to be easy was it? The morning went fairly fast and lunch was a welcome break from the classroom. Of course Ricky and Billy had lunch with me and Jenny and we resumed our conversation from this morning. Ricky was interested in football. Billy played it too but he was more interested in the school choir and we started talking to Ricky to see if he would join the choir as well because we would be able to spend more time to together that way.

Ricky said, “I will join only because I would see more of you.” 'How sweet is that?' but I have heard him sing in church and he has a really nice voice so he will make a nice addition to the choir.
Billy said, “Great, the four of us will have a lot more time together and we can also practice after school.”

Ricky replied, “Lets not get carried away Billy, there is still footy you know.”

“Yeah, but girls are more interesting than footy any day Rick.”

“Well maybe but I still don’t want to give up my football either.”

Jenny said, “Ricky no-one is asking you to give up your precious football are they?”

“No, but.”

I was getting sick of this conversation and said, “Ricky, stop worrying about giving up football, the choir is at a different time anyway.”

“Oh is it? Well that's ok than.”

The bell rang and it was time to go back to the boring classroom and more of the same. It was really good to have Brenda and June sitting behind Jenny and I, because we could pass little notes between us as long as Mr Taylor didn't catch us doing it or we would end up being split up and that would never do!!!

The afternoon went fairly quickly. Us four girls walked out to the main gate and were gossiping when Ricky and Billy came and and asked us if we were going to the park this afternoon.

I said, “No Ricky, we have to do our homework before Mummy will let me and Jenny go anywhere.”

Ricky replied, “It was just a thought but you are right, me and Billy have home work to do too and seeing my Dad is the school principal I had better be good. Besides, Peter usually helps when we get stuck with a sticky maths problem.”

I said, “Don’t talk to me about maths, it's a dirty word.”

Billy replied “Yeah tell me about it.” Brenda and June both giggled at that and June said “I don’t know what you lot find so hard about maths, it's elementary dear Watson.”

We were all laughing when Mummy came walking across from the other side of the road where she had parked a brand new red and white Holden station wagon.

Ricky said, “Wow Mrs Croft, is that yours?”

Mummy replied, “Yes Ricky, do you like it?”

“Yeah, I wish Dad would buy a wagon like that.”

Mummy said, “Well Ricky, I needed to buy something to carry a lot of stuff in for the restaurant when I get stuff from the transport depot and railway yard.”

Ricky replied, “Yeah fair enough.”

We said bye to our friends and walked across the road and got into the new car which smelt of leather from the seats.

Mummy said, “Carla and Jenny, you have a little visitor at home that I want you to be extra nice to alright?”

“Who is it Mummy?” said Jenny, and I said, “I bet I know who it is.”

“Ok smarty pants who is it?”

I said, “Jean just told me ,so there.”

Jenny said, “Hey that's not fair sis.”

Mummy said, “Alright, it's a girl that is a boy that is a girl.”

Jenny looked at me and I nodded and said “You guessed it, it's Christine.”

Mummy said, “Jane has let her dress as a girl when she is not at school and she wants to ask you a few questions Carla.”

I said, ”Mummy, is she the same as me or is she like Samantha?”

Mummy replied, “I think she might be like you darling because Jim Ryan is sending her to Brisbane next week and because the school holidays start a week later it will give the doctors more time to spend with her doing all the same tests that you had done.”

“Ok Mummy” both Jenny and I said, and Mummy started the new car and drove home.

When we got home there was another car parked in the driveway and I said, “Mummy that’s Christine's Dad's car.”

“Yes well it would be would be wouldn't it? David and Shirley are here to thank you two officially for doing what you did on the river a few weeks ago or don’t you remember that far back?”

“Mummeeey!!! don’t be mean, all the things that have happened since then has made us forget some other things.”

“Ok, granted both of you have been to hell and back , all the more reason to be there for another little girl with gender problems.”

”Mummy, they are not gender problems, just plumbing problems.”

“Ok Carla you win.”

Mummy parked the new station wagon next to the much older Ford and we got our school bags out of the back of the wagon and went up the front steps to be nearly knocked back down by an over-active Ginger. I patted her and gave her a hug and Jenny did the same.

Mummy said “Don’t get your school uniforms dirty girls.”

“Yes Mummy err no Mummy.” We walked inside to the lounge and were greet by Mr and Mrs Jackson and a girl that looked a lot like she was a twin of Kenny. Trying to be funny as per my usual self I said, “Where’s Kenny? Are you his sister?”

Christine sat there with a grin from ear to ear and said, “It's me Carla, Kenny”

I said, “No Christine, it is you always you, not Kenny.” and I went and gave her a hug.

Then Jenny did the same and said, “Hi sis, I like what you are wearing.”

Christine's Mum and Dad just sat there with tears forming in their eyes and David Jackson said, “I told you they were two angels sent to us from above didn't I?”

Mummy said, “I don’t know about angels, but they can take Christine to their bedroom and get changed out of their school clothes.”

Before we left the lounge, Christine’s Dad gave Jenny and myself a hug and said, “When you have changed you clothes I need you to come outside and see something.” We looked at Christine and she just shrugged her shoulders and walked past us on the way to our bedroom.

When we got to our room Jenny and I pushed Christine onto the bed and started to tickle her but Mummy was at the door and said, “I knew you two would do that and no, she is not allowed to tell you anything so let her up of the bed you monsters.”

“Yes Mummy.”

“Christine, don't tell them anything. They will just have to hurry up and get changed and we will see you in a couple of minutes ok?”

“Yes Mrs Croft.”

Mummy left and we said “Christine, we owe you a good tickle ok?”

She said, “Ok, but you will have to run pretty fast. I won the last race at school sports the other day.”

We got changed into jeans and long sleeved tops and we pulled the school ribbons out of our hair and let if loose which felt good. Jenny’s and my hair was really long now and it was getting a bit of chore to comb and get ready for school of a morning so Mummy usually put it in a plait and that lasted for about three days till we had to wash it, but I didn't want it cut because Ricky liked it long and so did I and I wanted to have it long for Mummy's wedding the next month.

Anyway we went back to where the adults were discussing what they were going to do to help Christine with her little problem but all went quiet when we entered the room.

Christine’s Dad said, “Oh you're back! Ok then, lets go and see what the surprise is girls.”

Christine grabbed Jenny's and my hand and we went out into Daddy's shed. We walked into where the Jackson's boat was still parked which they were going to tow home today.

When we walked around the other side of the boat there was something under a tarpaulin. Christine pulled us over to the tarpaulin and lifted it up and pulled it back in one go. Both me and Jenny stood there with our mouths open looking at two brand new Malvern Star bikes with three speed hubs and handle-bar brakes. It was a rare sight to see gears on a girl's bike so it must have been a special order.

“Wow!” said Jenny and me at the same time.

Christine said “I got one too and it's also a girls bike.”

I said, “Yeah so!!”

She replied “I wont be able to ride it yet till I get all my paper work sorted out by Father Brian and that could take a couple of months yet because I have to go for some tests in Brisbane.”

I replied, “Yeah tell me about it, but don’t wait till you have a period like I did.”

Christine's Mum said, “Carla, we don’t know how much like you Christine is but we are going to find out in the school holidays, and if all goes well we can make arrangements to have any surgery done after that.”

Mummy interrupted and said, “Carla, she hasn't been on any hormone treatment like you were, so she hasn't been speeding up her puberty like you did.”

I replied “Oh I didn't think of that, sorry.”

Christine's Mum said “That's ok dear, now how about you and Jenny get these new bikes out of here and try out the gears?”

Before we did that, both Jenny and I gave Mr Jackson a double hug. We thanked him and said he didn't have to give us new bikes for saving his life.

Mr Jackson replied “The fact remains that you two did in fact save my life, and these bikes are the least I can do. Besides, you can go riding with my daughter as soon as we can sort out some of the legal and medical problems that are in front of us.”

Mummy said “David, if Christine is the same as Carla than there should be no real problems medically or legally especially if Brian is handling the legal side of things.”

Anyway we left the adults to carry on with their conversation and got the new bikes out to try out the gears, Christine grabbed one of our old bikes and joined us for a ride down the road. The bikes had lights and everything as well as a little tool bag hanging off the seat. The lights would come on when the dynamo thingy was clicked onto the bike tyre. There are no real hills in Quilpie but it is still nice to have gears on a bike so we tried out all three gears and found that number two gear is the most comfortable one to use.

We didn't go too far because it was getting late and we still had home work to do before dinner time, so we turned around and went back home. We put the bikes back in the shed and went into the house where all the adults were in the lounge. Daddy and Rita were home as well.

Mummy said, “Well! How are the new bikes girls?”

I said “We'll be able to ride for hours without getting tired with those gears.”

Jenny said “Well one hour anyway.” Everyone laughed at that, and Jenny said, “What'd I say?”

Christine replied, “Jenny you are almost as funny as Carla.”

I said, “Hey watch it. I still owe you a good tickling don’t forget.”

Mummy said, “Right girls - homework!! and take Christine with you because she has her school books with her as well, because she and her parents are staying for dinner tonight. Now off you go.”

“Yes Mummy.” Jenny and I replied. “Come on Christine, how much homework do you have?”

Christine said, “I only have a bit of reading to do it shouldn't take very long.”

Jenny and I had some maths homework and when Christine saw what we were doing she said, “Maths is my favourite subject. I can give you a hand if you like.”

She was one year older than us and was in grade six., so she was more advanced than me or Jenny and we were both lousy at maths, so I said, “If you can help us you can move in with us if you want.”

At that we a had a giggling fit, which brought Mummy to the door and she said, “I hope you girls are not just mucking up and doing your homework, because dinner will be in about ten minutes ok?” We stopped giggling and finished our home work with Christine's help.

Christine said, “I'm going to hate switching back to boy's clothes for school tomorrow but I guess I’ll have to be careful or I might get bashed up if I go to school looking all girly.”

Jenny said, “Well it's only another week and it's school holidays so hang in there girl.”

Rita came to our bedroom and said, “Ok you lot, time to come and have dinner so go wash your hands and come into the dining room.”

We usually ate at the kitchen table but when we had guests we ate in the dining room where there was a big old oak table that would seat ten people. It belonged to Daddy's parents and was at least a hundred years old. Dinner was steak and kidney pie with veggie’s on the side. Mummy had brought it home from the restaurant so all she had to do was the vegetables and it was done. Desert was custard slices with fresh cream and cinnamon sprinkled over the top.

''Yummy!'' Christine said, “Wow Mrs Croft are all your meals this good?”

Daddy replied, “You betcha kid.”

Anyway after dinner Christine and her parents went home and we all helped to clear up and went to into the lounge. Mummy, Daddy and Rita were going to watch a movie on the telly so Jenny and I said good night and went to our bedroom. Jenny and I weren’t ready to go to sleep yet so we decided to make contact with Jean.

I said, “Ok Jenny, you know what to do.” so we got under the covers and held hands and closed our eyes.

Jean was already there on the bed with us and I said, “Jean, I didn’t have to call you at all. Are you now ready any time we want to talk with you?”

Jean replied, “Yes sister of mine, and as long as you keep your eyes closed you will see me as though I am right here with you, but my voice is still only in your mind but you can speak to me with your normal voice.”

Jenny then asked, “Jean, where is my Mummy now?”

Jean replied, “She is not on the same spirit plane as me but she is happy where she is and she sends her love to you Jenny.”

I said “Jean, are you with me all the time now time?”

”Yes I am Carla, and you can't do anything without me knowing so you are stuck with me for life. Now why don’t you two go to sleep? I need to rest too you know.”

“Ok Sis, goodnight,” and the image of Jean sitting on our bed faded as she blew us both a kiss. We were asleep within seconds. I thought Jean could control a lot of the things that I did, so I better behave my self or I would get zapped.

The rest of the week went by fairly quickly, and it was Friday afternoon when we had just ridden home from school when we saw Christine sitting on the front steps of our house dressed in her girl clothes with her new bike leaning up against the wall. She was wearing a denim skirt and a long sleeve pink flannel shirt and her hair was not as long as ours yet but it was long enough to be put into a short pony tail which she had put a pink ribbon in. I thought she must be another pink freak like me.

We rode our bikes right up to where she was sitting and I said, “Christine what are you doing here, didn't you go to school today?”

She replied, “Yeah, but I had an appointment with Doc Ryan at lunch time and by the time that was over it was two o'clock so I decided to come for a ride to see you two, and Mummy said that I could stay for the weekend if it was ok with your Mum.”

I said, “Is Mummy home, because if not I will give her a ring at the restaurant and ask her right now.” I should have looked in the shed because the new station wagon was parked in there so she must be home. Duhh!!!

Christine giggled and said, “Sorry, I should have said it was ok with your Mum, because I have brought a bag with me with clothes for the weekend and also my school homework so we can do our home work together again.”

Jenny said, “Great, more bloody homework.”

Mummy said from inside the house, “Hoy, I heard that young lady. No swearing thank you very much.”

“Sorry Mummy, it just slipped out.” By this time Mummy was at the door and said, “Alright Carla, Jenny, out of your school clothes and Christine you come with me and we'll make some pancakes while they are changing.”

We all ended up in the kitchen having pancakes with treacle spread in between two put together, and hot chocolate milk to wash them down. While we were all talking at once, Mummy said, “Ok girls, quieten down for a minute and let me get a word in edgewise please.” We were all quiet and looked at Mummy to see what she had to tell us.

Mummy said, “Jenny, we have all the paperwork back from Father Brian and it is all signed ready to be mailed to the government department for us to be your foster parents. What do think about that young lady?”

Jenny got up and practically fell into Mummy's arms with tears in her eyes and said, “Does that make you my new Mummy now?”

Mummy replied, “Well legally I am your guardian, but you can call me Mummy any time you want sweetheart.”

After we finished cleaning up the mess we made making the pancakes, we got on our bikes and went for a ride before it got dark, and Ginger enjoyed running along behind us. Christine wasn't going back to school now till after the school holidays because she was going to Brisbane to have all the necessary tests done to sort out her little problem. I thought we might also be in Brisbane the first week of the holidays for the Brisbane exhibition which lasts for a whole week. We would probably stay with Samantha and her Mum again. It would be fun to see Sam again, she was a good friend and was also transgendered but not intersexed like me, but she was all girl just the same.

The week-end was spent with us three girls having a lot of fun dressing in all the different clothes that Jenny and I now had hanging in an overcrowded closet. Christine was a year older than Jenny and me but she was the same size as us so she could pick anything that took her fancy and try it on. Christine's Dad picked her up on Sunday night and we said we would probably see her in Brisbane a week later when we were at Sam's place.

Monday 3/8/59

Back at school for one more week and then yippeee two weeks off, and going to the show in Brisbane. This would be my first time at the show.

Jenny said, “Carla, you will love it. There is so much to see and the rides are wild! There is one that is called 'The Octopus' and it whirls around on these long arms and the thing you sit in spins as well. I was sick last year when I got off and threw up all over another kid. The kid's Mum didn't think it was very funny though.”

The week dragged on till Friday and then it was time to pack and get ready to fly down to Brisbane with Rodney and his new plane.

To be continued.

Next time: Back to school and getting ready to fly to Brisbane for the show.

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Monday 3/8/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at school for one more week and then yippeee two weeks off, and going to the show in Brisbane. This would be my first time at the show.

Jenny said, “Carla, you will love it. There is so much to see and the rides are wild! There is one that is called 'The Octopus' and it whirls around on these long arms and the thing you sit in spins as well. I was sick last year when I got off and threw up all over another kid. The kid's Mum didn't think it was very funny though.”

The week dragged on till Friday and then it was time to pack and get ready to fly down to Brisbane with Rodney and his new plane.

Friday 7/8/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mummy rang Samantha’s Mum, Mary to tell her that me and Jenny were coming down to stay with her for a few days and she would come herself a couple of days later. It was the last day before the school holidays so you can imagine that there was not a lot of learning going on, but I don’t think the teachers were too worried as long as we didn't muck up too much!!!

We got all our school books and stuffed them into the bags and went to where our bikes were kept and Brenda and June were there and said they were going to Cairns with their parents for the two weeks, so we all hugged and said our good byes. As we were walking to the main gates pushing our bikes because we were not allowed to ride on the school grounds Ricky and Billy were there waiting to say goodbye to us because they were not going anywhere for the holidays.

Ricky said “Carla, can you bring me back a couple of show bags?” and Billy asked Jenny to do the same for him. We both agreed to bring back a bag each for the boys, but we were only allowed to have so much stuff to bring back because there is a weight limit on a smaller plane.

We walked down the road a little bit still pushing our bikes. When we were out of sight of the school we stopped and leaned our bikes against a tree that had a bench under it, and all four of us sat down to say bye properly. We were holding hands for a bit and Ricky said, “Carla, I wish I was coming with you to Brisbane, but Mum said maybe next year when she has more money saved up.”

He looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes and said, “love you Carla.”

I pulled him into a hug and kissed him right on the lips and could feel Jean putting some sort of energy between us. It gave me and Ricky a tingling feeling all over.

Jean said in my mind, “Tell him the tingling is from me sis.”

I opened my eyes and saw Ricky had tears in his.

I said, “Ricky I will always be yours, and Jean said the tingle is from her.”

All Ricky could say was, “Wow Carla, life with you will be special won't it?”

While this was going on Billy and Jenny were having fun off their own saying 'goodbye'. Just as well there was no one else around or we would have some explaining to do. Once we were finished with our goodbyes we got on our bikes and rode home with weak knees from kissing the boys. We both giggled and were wondering what the boys felt like after we kissed them.

We got home, put our bikes in the shed and went inside to put all our school things away for the two weeks and change out of our school uniforms. No one else was home yet so we made ourselves some pancakes and sat in the lounge and turned on the telly and Bandstand was on with Little Patty and the Bee Gees.

We didn't have long to wait and Mummy was home and had us cleaning up our bedroom which was getting untidy, with us pulling out all the clothes when Christine was over. We let her borrow about half a dozen outfits as long as when she started getting her own wardrobe together we could start swapping outfits with her. With the three of us being the same size apart from Christine who had no breast development yet, it would give us a big range of clothes to chose from. Anyway we hung all the clothes back where they belonged so Mummy wouldn't be cross with us.

Mummy said. “Right girls, I want you both to get out your travel bags and pack enough clothes to last you for a week and make sure you pack your jeans because it can get quite cold in Brisbane in August with a westerly wind blowing. You will be flying down in Rodney’s plane with Christine and her mother.”

I said, “Is Christine going to the show too Mummy?”

She replied, “I doubt it, seeing you will not get to Brisbane till lunch time on Sunday, and then have to take a cab to get to Mary's place.”

I said, “Where is Christine staying?”

“She and Jane will be staying with you at Samantha’s place because it is so close to the Mater, and Mary offered to put them up while they were in Brisbane so you will be able to support Christine, at least for the first week but she will be down there at least for two weeks.”

“Mummy do you think that they will do any surgery on her?” asked Jenny.

Mummy replied, “No sweetheart, there are a lot of tests to do before any surgery can take place. Just ask Carla, I’m sure she can fill you in on what Christine has to endure, after all she went through it all to be complete.”

I said, “Yeah, but I hope she doesn't have a wild ride to the hospital like I did.”

Mummy replied, “Oh Carla that reminds me, you are due to have another period any day now so I want you to make sure you are not caught short and have a pack of pads packed ok?”

I replied, “Oh yukky, I don’t like them Mummy, I hope I don’t get any more of those horrible cramps.”

Mummy replied, “I don’t think that is going to happen this time darling. Don’t forget you are now a complete girl so you should not have any problems.”

Jenny said, “When do you think I will have my first period Mummy.”

“Well darling I don’t know, but the only reason Carla got hers was the extra hormones she was taking, so you might not have your first period for another couple of years, I didn't get mine till I was twelve years old.”

Jenny said, “Oh but my breasts are growing as fast as Carla’s so I might get them while I'm in Brisbane too.”

Mummy replied, “Well if that happens, you and Carla can complain about it to each other can't you.”

Mummy said, “Enough talk and start packing so we can have productive day tomorrow.”

Jenny said, “What about Mrs Blake? We really should go and see her and make sure she is ok and do her shopping for her Mummy.”

Mummy replied, “All arranged Jenny, we are going there at nine in the morning and while you two girls do some house work for her I will take her to the shops to do her grocery shopping, and by the way you will have a little extra help because Christine is going to stay over tomorrow as well.”

I said, “Is Christine coming over tonight?”

”Yes, she'll be here soon. Her mum will be dropping her over to leave all the travel gear for the trip to Brisbane. We'll get your Uncle Tony to drop you all out to the aerodrome on Sunday morning, because I want to get some extra cooking done at the restaurant before I join you in Brisbane.”

I said, “Where is Daddy going to be on Sunday morning?”

“Daddy is going over to the Lutheran church to help with a stall selling second hand tools and things to put some money into the Christmas charity box fund.”

I replied, “Won't Father Brian be upset with that?”

“Carla, Father Brian is only with the church till they find a replacement for him, so no, he wont be upset with your Daddy doing charity work for the church that he now belongs to.”

“Oh ok then Mummy, Daddy likes to help other people doesn't he?”

“Yes sweetheart, I think you have infected him with your personality, but he is a very caring man, that’s why I am marrying him, and he also loves you kids to bits.”

Ten minutes later Christine's mum pulled up in the driveway got out of the car and opened the trunk to bring all the bags into the house.

Christine was half way up the steps when her mum said, “Hoy girl, come back here and carry some of this stuff to the house.”

Christine ran back to the car and said, “Sorry Mummy.”

By this time Jenny and I were there as well and helped carry the travel luggage into the house. Christine was so excited to be going to Brisbane that it was hard for her to be still for any length of time.

Mummy was watching her and said, “Christine sweetheart, slow down or you will bust a poofo valve.”

Christine's Mum said, “Donna she'll slow down when she sees the the needles they use to draw some blood from her arm.”

Christine's Mum left and would be back on Sunday morning.

Mummy said, “Girls, take Christine to your bedroom and make sure the three of you have everything in the bags for the trip. I’ll call you when dinner is ready, now off you go.”

We spent the next hour talking about Brisbane and the show. Christine said that she would be able to go to the show on Peoples' Day because it is a public holiday for Brisbane and there won't be any test to do at the Mater hospital.

We were dancing and having a group hug when Rita came into the room and said, “What is all the excitement about?”

We all said in unison, “The show.”

Rita said, “Oh is that all, well dinner is ready so come out to the kitchen and we can eat.”

We had our dinner, watched a bit of telly and all three of us went to have a shower. We all fitted into the shower and then Christine wanted to have a look at what I looked like now that I am a regular girl between my legs.

I said, “Sure Chrissy, I hope they find that you are the same as me and you have all the girl bits inside.”

She replied, “Well I know that I don’t have any testicles down there and my willy is no bigger than my little finger.” and she was crooking her little pinky at us and we all had to sit down in the shower because we were giggling that hard.

Daddy said outside the door, “Hey kids, leave me some hot water will you!!

“Yes Daddy we''ll be out in a minute.” We stopped giggling and wrapped towels around us and ran into our bedroom, and put on some winter pyjamas and got into my large queen size bed. We put Christine in the middle.

Jenny said, “Carla, Christine hasn't seen what we can do with Jean,-- will we see if she can also see Jean like I can when I hold your hand and keep my eyes closed?”

I replied, “Ok, lets get under the covers and cuddle up close and hold hands.”

I said “Christine, you have to keep your eyes closed and don’t let go of my hand or it wont work, ok?”

Jean was already sitting on the bed in her beautiful gown smiling and said, “Hello girls, this is getting easier every time we do this.”

Christine almost let go of my hand but I tightened my grip and said, “Christine can you see my twin?”

Christine replied, “Which one is which? You both look the same”

Jean said, “You can obviously see and hear me if you are seeing double.”

“Wow this is unreal.”

“No Christine it is completely real, who do you think helped save your Daddy?” replied Jean.

Christine was getting the same tremble in her chest as Jenny did when she first saw Jean so we had to cut it short and Jean blew us a kiss and faded till she was gone.

Christine said, “Carla she looks exactly like you and even sounds like you.”

Jenny said, “Well they are identical twins after all.” We talked a bit more and went to sleep in a three way cuddle.

We were up bright and early and had breakfast.

Mummy said, “Seeing it's only seven am you should go for a ride on your bikes and take Ginger for a run because we won't be home for the next week and she needs the exercise.”

We didn't need to be told twice, so we were on our bikes and riding down the road in the icy cold morning. There was a heavy white frost on the ground and it made everything look pretty, but another hour and the sun would melt it all and then all that is left is the dead winter grass. We got back and had a cup of hot chocolate milk before we went with Mummy to Mrs Blake's house.

When we got there the yard had all been mowed and I said to Mummy, “Has someone else been coming around to help Mrs Blake out?”

“Yes Carla,--you know that man you call Daddy, well he is a bit like you sweetheart and has a heart made off sweet gold.”

“Yes Mummy I know and I am so glad that I have his name now, and after the wedding will you want to have a baby with Daddy?”

Mummy replied, “Darling I can’t have any more babies. Apart from being too old, after I had you and Jean I went to Charleville and had my tubes tied.”

I said “Well that's alright Mummy, me and Ricky will have at least six babies after we get married.”

Jenny and Christine were giggling and Christine said “I hope I’m like you Carla and can have babies too.”

Mummy said “Ok girls, enough talk about babies, lets get out of the car and see what we can do for Mrs Blake.

Mummy took Mrs Blake to the shops and we three girls did the house work that was required and put a couple of loads of washing in the machine and hung the clothes on the line. When Mummy came back we helped put away all the shopping and said goodbye to Mrs Blake telling her we will see her after we come back from Brisbane.

She gave us a hug each and said with a tear in her eyes, “You girls are little angels and Carla, I am so sorry that that boy of mine attacked you, I just hope they can straighten him out.”

Mummy pulled into the restaurant and said, “Seeing you girls have got everything ready for tomorrow, you can help me in the restaurant kitchen for a few hours so we can give Rita and Bella a break. Linda and Alice have the day off so with the three of you helping it will make it a lot easier for me to get things done.”

Mummy gave each of us a different job to do and after two and a half hours said, “Ok that's it - we're finished.” just as Rita and Aunty Bella walked in from going to the hairdressers.

Rita said, “Well that's good timing isn't it Aunt Bella?”

Mummy said, “Well Rita, we'll leave you with it and I’ll get these girls home and something to eat and they can have a rest for the rest of the day.”

We got home and were all tired from all the work that we had done. Mummy made us some sandwiches and after we ate them we went and laid down and had a nap which lasted till three o’clock in the afternoon. We spent the rest of Saturday watching some telly and looking at the brochures of the Brisbane exhibition that Mummy got sent in the mail.

Sunday 9/8/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had to be at the aerodrome at eight thirty so we had to get up, have a shower and breakfast by eight am. It wasn't a problem, we were all set to go by seven forty five when Christine's Mum and Dad turned up. Mrs Jackson only had a small bag with her because most of her things are in the bags that she brought over on Friday afternoon.

Mr Jackson got out of the car and went and knelt down to give his new daughter a hug and said “Christine angel, I wish I could be in Brisbane with you but there are some things that I have to see to here at home, but you have your Mummy and two little angels there to support you.” Then he kissed Christine on both cheeks and it looked like he was about to cry when Christine said, “Daddy I love you and we can ring you every day.” He gave Mrs Jackson a kiss and got in his car and drove off getting his handkerchief out to wipe his eyes.

Uncle Tony turned up and got all our stuff stacked into his Land Rover and said, “Ok lets get this show on the road.”

Mummy gave each of us girls a hug and a kiss and said, “I will see you in a couple of days so be good for Jane and when you get to Brisbane be good for Mary too.” We waved and were on our way to Rodney's plane, and Uncle Tony helped load everything into the planes cargo hold

We got on board and Christine was a bit nervous because she had never been in a plane before, and she said, “I don’t know how these things stay up in the air - it looks awful heavy.”

I said, “Don’t worry Christine, Jean will be there to greet us if we crash.”

She just made big eyes and grabbed my hand and said, “Carla that's not very funny.”

Rodney heard what was going on and said, “Carla you mustn’t scare my flying public like that.” with a wink and a grin on his face.

Jane said, “Christine darling, they are all just pulling your leg. We are probably safer in Rodney's plane then in a car on the highway.”

Jenny said, “Yeah, Mummy died like that.” Another five minutes and we were air born and on our way to the big smoke once more.

To be continued.

Next time: the show, more on Christine, and back home to get ready for the big day!!

Rodney's twin engine Cessna

Please leave a comment.

We got on board and Christine was a bit nervous because she had never been in a plane before, and she said, “I don’t know how these things stay up in the air - it looks awful heavy.”

I said, “Don’t worry Christine, Jean will be there to greet us if we crash.”

She just made big eyes and grabbed my hand and said, “Carla, that's not very funny.”

Rodney heard what was going on and said, “Carla you mustn’t scare my flying public like that.” with a wink and a grin on his face.

Jane said, “Christine darling, they are all just pulling your leg. We are probably safer in Rodney's plane then in a car on the highway.”

Jenny said, “Yeah, Mummy died like that.” Another five minutes and we were air born and on our way to the big smoke once more.

~~~ooooo000000oooo~~~~

Christine was amazed at what the earth looked like from high up and how far you could see into the horizon. I was sitting beside Rodney and he let me take control of the plane. I want to eventually get a pilots licence but I had to wait till I was fifteen before I could officially be trained to fly, but whenever I flew with Rodney he always let me take over the controls so by the time I am fifteen I’d be really good at it and would pass my tests real easy. He said that apparently I had the feel for the plane. Mind you he kept a close eye on me while I had control. Archerfield came into sight and Rodney radioed the control tower and got permission to land. The landing strip was gravel and when the wheels hit the runway it was quite noisy and bumpy till the plane started to taxi to where the buildings were.

It was eleven forty five by the time we were outside the building with all our bags and waiting for a taxi to take us to Samantha's place in the city. I had given Shirley the phone number of Debbie and she made the call while we were still in the building so it wasn't to long before Debbie pulled up in her black and white cab.

She got out and said, “Hello Carla, it's nice to see you again, I take it you will want to go to your friends place again?”

I replied “Yep, sure do Debbie.” I then introduced her to Christine and her Mum Shirley, she already knew Jenny from our last trip.

We all got into Debbie's cab and Debbie asked, Carla what about your Mum? Why isn’t she with you this time?”

I replied, “She'll be down in a couple of days, you'll probably get to take her into town as well.”

We arrived out front of the apartment building that was getting to be familiar to me. Jenny and I went to the main entrance and pressed the buzzer up to Samantha’s flat so she could unlock the security door that led into the main foyer into the building.

The intercom crackled and Sam's voice said, “It's open Carla, come on up.” That was our cue to grab our bags and go through the doors into where the lift is.

Christine said, “Wow this is a classy place, it has a lift and everything.” Jenny replied, “Chrissie there are also stairs if you prefer to walk but it is three floors up.” and then we got into the lift.

When we arrived at the door of Sam's flat she was standing out in the hall ready to greet us with a big hug and a kiss. She kissed me a bit longer and it gave me a tingling feeling down my spine much the same I get when Ricky kisses me like that, I could also hear Jean say, “Wow Carla that was nice.”

We walked into the apartment and Mary was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on shepherd's pie.

I said, “Aunt Mary, this is Christine and her Mum Shirley.”

Mary replied with a big smile and said, “Samantha's been talking all week about you coming, - I’m pleased to meet you. Make yourselves at home and I will get Samantha to set the table and we can all sit down and have some lunch.”

The shepherd's pie was delicious and we even had ice cream and strawberries for desert. We girls put our things into Sam's room. Because there were four of us, there was a camp bed set up in her bedroom and there would be a short straw contest to see who slept on the stretcher that night.

Christine and her Mum went for a walk with Mary down to the Mater to fill out some paper work to save a bit of time tomorrow, so we decided to catch up on what had been happening in Quilpie and talked about the upcoming wedding because Sam and Mary would be there for the weekend. When the others came home it was getting late and Mary said she would order in Chinese take away.

Once we were finished our evening meal we watched a bit of telly till it was time to go to bed. Tomorrow would be quite full on all day because us three girls were going to the exhibition by ourselves.

Christine drew the short straw and had to sleep on the camp bed. We talked into the night and I was in the middle between Jenny and Sam. I was spooning Jenny and Sam was spooning me. I felt Sam’s hand on my now growing breasts and it felt really good so I just let her keep doing it.

I started to feel a strange tingling in my groin and thought that I should not let it go any further because a girl on girl thing wasn't what I wanted so I grabbed her hand and gently pulled it away from my chest even though it felt nice. I think I would rather have Ricky doing something like that to me. Once I removed her hand she just went back to a normal cuddle, Jenny didn't notice anything that was happening and we were soon all asleep.

Monday 10/8/59

In the morning when I got up to go and have a pee, Sam followed me out and said, “Carla, I’m sorry if I upset you last night by touching your breasts. Please don't be mad at me.”

I replied, “Sam it felt nice, but I am not into girls that way.”

She replied, “Ok Carla, it wont happen again. Please don't tell anyone that I like girls in that way.”

We went back into the bedroom. I love Sam as a friend and always will. One day she will find someone that will be the same as her, but I am only interested in being with boys that way. It was still only early so we crawled back into bed and went back to sleep.

When I woke up I was in bed by myself and also didn't feel that well and had stomach cramps. Oh no!! I didn't want my periods yet. Damn!

Mary poked her head around the door and said, “Hello sleepy head, do you want some breakfast? The others have all gone for a walk.” I

said, “Aunty Mary I think I have got my period coming because I’ve got those silly cramps again.”

She replied, “Oh well, it happens to the best of us Carla. Pop into the shower and take some pads in with you and then you can have some breakfast.”

I felt a bit better after the shower and I certainly needed the pads, yukky. Four days of this and going to the show. Oh well, such is the life of a woman. I got dressed in a denim skirt and warm top and put my hair into a pony tail. I didn't feel like doing much at all really but I’ was there so I had better make the best of it.

I went out into the kitchen and Mary had made me a plate of porridge and she said, “Cheer up girl, you're not sick. tThis happens once a month for the next forty years and the only time you wont have to put up with periods is when you fall pregnant.”

I replied, “Well I don’t want kids till I can fly a plane so I don’t have to stay in the bush and lose a baby like Mummy did with Jean.”

Mary replied, “Carla you are funny sometimes with how you put things. I can just see you with a big tummy and getting in your own plane and flying yourself to the city to have your child.”

I said, “Besides, I will have Ricky to look after me. He is such a gentleman around me Aunty Mary.”

She came and gave me a hug and said, “Sweetheart, don't ever change will you!!”

I replied, “No, I will just get bigger but I won't change.”

The others come back from their walk and Jenny said, “Oh my god she is up!”

I said “Don't you start or I will let take over with these periods for a week.”

She said, “Oh no, will you be alright?” which made Mary and Christine’s Mum laugh out loud and Jenny said, “What!!”

Mary said “Never mind Jenny, she is not sick, periods are not a sickness it is just normal living for a girl.”

I said, “Can we please change the subject now.”

Jenny said, “Sorry sis, I wont mention it again.”

Christine and her Mum had to be at the hospital to see Doc Rose at ten so they had a cup of tea and went on their way. Mary started her shift at the hospital at eleven, so me, Jenny and Samantha got yourselves ready to go to the show. We all wore sand-shoes so we wouldn't get sore feet from all the walking around the show grounds. We took coats as well because it was August and the Westerly wind was blowing as usual. We went down to the street and waited for the next tram to come along. It took only five minutes and we were on a tram and on our way to the exhibition grounds.

Mary had got us all free passes so it didn't cost us any money to get in. I wasn't really that interested in going onto many rides because I really wasn't feeling up to being hurled around in a hurdy-gurdy, so I talked the others into looking at all the displays in the pavilions instead. We saw all the animals that won first prize in their category. I liked the chickens and birds the best. Jenny and Sam liked the lambs, and then we went to where they had the wool display because that is where the fashion parade was taking place every couple of hours. We sat through a couple of those and had enough for the day so we caught a tram into the middle of the city and looked through the shops.

There were school kids everywhere because it was school holidays and the kids that didn't go to the show went into town to look at the shops. By the time we looked at more clothes shops I was feeling the worse for wear and said to Sam “I need to go home and lay down” because I ended up getting a headache so we caught another tram and went home. I felt like a bit of a stick in the mud but I really didn't feel well at all.

We arrived back at the apartment and Christine and her Mum were back from the day spent at the hospital getting tests done, Christine had little band aids on her arms where the vampires stuck their teeth in to make her give gallons of blood. She was just as tired as me and said she just wanted to lay down for a while.

Sam and Jenny turned on the telly but Christine and myself went into the bedroom to have a rest. I asked Christine what she had found out so far and she replied, “Carla they did a lot of tests and a lot of pictures were taken and also some funny thing that they rubbed over my tummy and it had a screen that showed some sort of distorted image. It just looked like a lot of lines to me but Doc Rose said that it looked the same as what you looked like.”

I replied, “Chrissie, join the club girl.”

She said, “Do you really think I am like you sis?”

I replied “Chrissie, if Rose says you are like me then that is what you are, and you will have to go to Sydney to be opened up so you can have periods like I am having now.”

She said, “Wow, that means I will be able to be a mummy as well doesn't it?”

“Yeah I suppose so, but Chrissie, don’t go on about it in front of Sam because she is not like us. I mean she is, but not intersexed so she hasn't got the inside of a girl like we have.”

“Oh I see what you mean Carla, ok I’ll watch what I say in front of her.”

I then said, “There is one more thing you should know as well sis.”

“Ok, what is that?”

“Well it's a bit hard to explain but she likes girls.”

“Yeah so do I.”

“No sis, she likes girls!!!!”

“Oh!! Um, but what happens now?”

“Nothing, I just thought I’d warn you that's all.”

“Ok well, she is still our friend though isn't she?”

“Yes of course, it wont make any difference to our friendship. There are plenty of girls that like girls in that way, I’m just not one of them. Ricky is the one for me and one day I will marry him and have babies.” Christine and I didn't have a sleep but just lay there on the bed chatting till it was time for dinner.

Later that night when it was bed time Sam said she would sleep on the camp bed so she would not embarrass us. She had already told Jenny about what happened between us this morning and didn't want to ruin our friendship because she was a lesbian. We had a group hug and all was well.

Tuesday11/8/59

Christine had to spend some more time at the hospital; Mary went to work, and we decided not to go to the show today because Mummy was turning up by lunch time and she would take us clothes shopping that afternoon when Christine was finished at the hospital. Apparently the test would be finished by midday so there would be plenty of time for us to go to the shops and help Christine's Mum spend some money on her new daughter.

Sam decide we should do some baking, so we got busy and baked about five dozen cup cakes and we topped them with icing and sprinkled them with hundred and thousands. By the time Mummy arrived we had lunch all ready as well.

The buzzer went to open the main door and Mummy's voice came through the intercom speaker, and she said, “I hope you have lunch ready for five more people?”

Sam said, “What!!?” but Mummy was already on her way up. There was a knock on the apartment door and Sam opened it. There was Mummy, Helen, Ricky, and Billy standing in the hall with big grins on their faces.

I squealed and and so did Jenny. We both raced out into the hall and practically knocked them over hugging them and of course we made a mistake and kissed them on the lips when Mummy said, “Ok girls, hugs would have been enough.”

“Yes Mummy.” Ricky and Billy didn't know what to say and just kept hugging us when Helen said, “Isn't young love great Donna?”

Mummy replied, “Yes but we will have to keep an eye on this lot.”

It worked out that Helen decided to come down to the show after all and bring Ricky and Billy down to have some fun with their girlfriends, ''um friends''. They were going to stay at a motel just a couple of blocks away. Five minutes later Christine and her mum arrived back from the hospital so it was a bit of a squeeze in the apartment. Mummy and Helen had brought some take away with them, so there was plenty of food to go around. Jenny and I decided to go with Christine to the shops and help spend her Mum's money and see if Mummy was going to spend some on us as well.

Jenny's Dad has given Mummy quite a bit of money to look after her, so I think that was half the reason that Mummy has come down to Brisbane as well. Sam, Ricky, Billy and Helen were off to the show while we went shopping in the city department stores. Tomorrow was a public show day holiday for Brisbane so no shops would be open then, and I thought we will all go to the show on People's Day.

Mummy, Shirley, Jenny and I took Chrissie shopping, as a girl!! She has to learn that shopping is more important than going to any show! By the time we were finished we had too much stuff to go back to the apartment by tram and had to call Debbie to take us home.

Debbie turned up in her black and white cab and got out to open up the trunk and said, “My god ladies, did you leave any stock in the shops?”

Chrissie had a big grin on her face and said, “A girl needs to have a brand new wardrobe.”

Debbie replied, “Does that mean what I think it does?”

Chrissie looked at me and didn't quite know how to answer that, so I just said, “Debbie, she is one of us.”

Debbie replied, “Oh ok darling, join the club.”

The others were still at the show when we got home so it was fashion show time and as Chrissie was the same size as me and Jenny less a little bit in the chest, we tried on all the clothes that were bought. The others had their food at the show so there was no need to do any extra cooking. Sam was dropped off and the others went to their motel for the night .

We waited for Mary to come home from work before we set the table and had our evening meal. Later Shirley explained all about what the results of the tests so far had revealed and Chrissie was in fact like me and intersexed which meant she was ninety nine percent girl and with a little bit of surgery she would be complete like me.

Wednesday 12/8 /50

Peoples Day at the show is ok, but it means that all of Brisbane and half the state of Queensland are trying to squeeze into area the size of one city block, and being the bushies that we are we didn't last any more than four hours before we went back to the apartment out of the noise and dust. Even the boys had had enough and came back with us on the a tram. Chrissie had two more days of tests and she could go home. Rodney’s plane could accommodate us, because that made it five and the pilot plus luggage. If Rodney thought the luggage was too heavy it could come back with Helen and the boys the following week. They were staying a bit longer to do some sight-seeing, Billy had never been to Brisbane, so this was his opportunity to see the big bad city. Mummy had some things to buy for the restaurant, so for the next couple of days we went to see a couple of movies and did a bit of sight-seeing with Helen and the boys.

Saturday 15/8 /59

Mummy, Jenny, Chrissie ,her Mum and I were taken to Archerfield by our favourite lady cabbie. Rodney looked at the luggage and had to literally weigh it to see if he could take it with us on this trip, but it was all bulk and not as heavy as it looked so on it went, much to Chrissie's relief . In the clothes that were bought there was a girls school uniform, and if all went well and Father Brian did his thing, she could turn up as a girl when school started again.

The flight home was uneventful and we touched down in Quilpie at eleven thirty. Daddy was there with Chrissie's Dad in Daddy's mini bus so we would all fit in. Uncle Tony was there with Mummy's old Land Rover ready to refuel Rodney’s Cessna. He was thinking of buying a second plane because the business was growing really fast and Daddy was interested in going into partnership with him and Tom Granger. Anyway Mr Jackson greeted his new daughter and virtually carried her to the bus and she had to say, “Daddy I can walk.”

He replied, “Oh sweetheart I'm sorry, I’m just so happy to have my little girl home.” and he put her down.

She replied, “Daddy you wait till you see all the pretty clothes Mummy has bought for me.”

Everything went back to normal; back to school. Even Chrissie went back to school as a girl without any real trouble. Time went by quickly and it was time for the big day for Mummy and Daddy to get married, which was on Saturday the fifth of September in a weeks time so panic stations all round.

Next time: "The Wedding"

Please leave a comment .

Everything went back to normal; back to school. Even Chrissie went back to school as a girl without any real trouble. Time went by quickly and it was time for the big day for Mummy and Daddy to get married, which was on Saturday the fifth of September in a weeks time so panic stations all round.

Saturday 29/8/59
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We were all in a panic, Daddy was worse than us ladies and that's saying something. Daddy still had to sort out a new suit and Uncle Tony and Father Brian all had to have matching suits. Mary from the dress shop had it all sorted weeks ago because she measured them all up and the suits were all at her shop. Mummy rang Mary and organised the three men to go into Mary's shop to try the suits on and then bring them home to hang up in the ward robe till needed next Saturday. There was no flower shop in Quilpie at that time, but there were old ladies that loved gardening and it was really easy to grow roses in that climate, so we would all be wearing a rose, the ladies in their hair and the men in their suit buttonholes.

Shoes for the men were easy, and we all had matching shoes to go with our gowns when we sorted all that out in Mary's shop weeks earlier. So why we were panicking I really don’t know, but I guess it is just that the worry about things going wrong on the day plays on your mind! Once we realised that all was in order the panic mode dissipated.

The reception was going to be held in the Lutheran church hall which is used for a lot of weddings because of the catering facilities and it was big enough to have at least two hundred people at tables, but there will only be one hundred and twenty at Mummy's wedding.

The Minister's wife Shelly and us girls were going to prepare the church for the wedding on Friday. Jenny , Chrissie and myself would wag school on the Friday to get all that done. Rita, Jenny and I would be bridesmaids and Chrissie would be a flower girl. Samantha decide to let Chrissie take her place as a flower girl which was really nice of her. Chrissie, Jenny and I had become like sisters and we were very close. Ricky's Dad the school principal had organised the school choir to join with the church choir to sing at the wedding ceremony and sing 'Amazing Grace' and 'Ave Maria' while Mummy and Daddy were signing the register.

Sunday was spent cleaning every nook and cranny in the big old Queenslander because there would be people wanting somewhere to stay for the weekend and the motel, and hotel were all fully booked. This always happens when there is a wedding in an outback town like Quilpie. We were all dog tired by dinner time and Mummy said we would all invade the restaurant to have our evening meal.

Linda,Alice and Aunty Bella had a table all set and ready for us when we arrived. There was eight of us but that was not a problem at Mummy's restaurant where there were big gatherings quite often. Rita and Mummy helped serve the meal and then we all were glad to sit down and eat. There wasn't a lot of conversation we were all to tired from all the hard work that was done through day.

Chrissie's mum let her stay over with me and Jenny till after the wedding because she was part of the wedding party. We three girls loved it because we could all be in my big bed and gossip till Mummy came and told us to go to sleep. Even Jean was getting in on the gossip, which was great because she could stickybeak in places we couldn't but that was a bit naughty.

Anyway we had to go to school till Friday. Chrissie was going to transfer to our school next term so we three girls could be together almost all the time. As it was we were getting the nick name of the 'Three Musketeers', and we almost always wore the same outfits and had our hair done the same way.

Jean was now with us pretty much as much as we wanted her, and she could communicate with all three of us at the same time. If we wanted to see her we had to keep our eyes closed, so that was mainly done in bed at night.

Friday
~~~~

We were up early and all three of us got into the shower. Chrissie really didn't look a lot different than me and Jenny and in a couple of months time she was going to have the same procedure done that I went through, so she would be complete like me. She couldn't wait, and she was also starting to show budding on her chest. Jenny and I had small breasts now and with a little bit of padding we look about two years older than we really were but the boys liked it!!!

Anyway enough of that, we had lots to do that day. We got Daddy to drive us to the church so we could do all the flowers and bows tied to the ends of the pews, the prayer books and the wedding books that people would take home.

At ten o’clock, Miss Alcorn and Miss Frost were getting ready for the two choirs to have a practice session, with all the kids except Jenny and I because we were in the wedding party and couldn't take part in the singing. While all this was happening Mummy and Aunty Bella were helping the caterers organise the kitchen in the reception hall. Mummy was supplying all the food and all the caterers had to do was cook and serve. People who knew Daddy from the caravan park were going to do the waiting and cleaning up after it was all over.

We spent most of the day getting everything done at the church while Daddy and Brian organised the two wedding cars for the following day. Brian was not the priest any more and had opened up his own law practice in town. Late in the day Pastor Jeff Miller got us all together and went through the ceremony a couple of times so we all knew what was expected the next day. Daddy was a bit fidgety the second time round and I thought he would be glad when it was all over. ''Poor Daddy''

Once we were finished in the church it was back to the hall and sort out where people were to be seated. Mummy didn't tell me before so I didn't freak out but my birth Dad James and my brother John were going to be there. James apparently joined AA and had not had a drink since he met a lady that he was now with and John was also in a different frame of mind.

I said, “Mummy I hope you know what you are doing. He could spoil your whole day?”

She replied, “No Carla, I don't think so. I have spoken with Joy on the phone and she seems a real down to earth lady and says that James is really sorry for some of the things he has done and would just like to see his two daughters.”

I said, “Mummy does Rita and Daddy know?”

“Yes darling, I told them a couple of days ago and Rita said that as long as he behaves himself she will cope with it because she wants to see John again too.”

I said, “Mummy you could have told me too you know!!” I now had tears in my eyes and Chrissie and Jenny both came running over and hugged me and asked me what was wrong.

I replied through tears, “That stupid James and John are going to spoil Mummy's wedding tomorrow”

Mummy said, “Sweetheart come and sit down here with me and let me tell you why I am letting James and your brother come back into our life.” She continued “Darling, James was a good husband and father at first and then things went wrong between us. He then started drinking and gambling and John unfortunately followed his example, but every one deserves another chance in life. He is not asking to become part of our daily lives, he just wants to see you and apologise for all the hurt he caused. He also knows that you were never a boy but an intersexed girl, Carla. Please give him a chance to see what a lovely little daughter he has.”

By this time Rita was sitting next to me as well and holding my hand and she said, “Carla, sis, I know you never wanted to see them again after that episode in Charleville, but I agree with Mum - every one deserves another chance so how about it sis?”

I replied, “Well I suppose so, but I'm not happy about it, and neither will Ricky be.”

I did think about it and after a while I decide to get used to the idea but there better not be any trouble or I will get Jean to do some nasty things to them. I heard Jean giggle at the thought of of what she could do.

Everything that could be done today was done and we went home to relax till dinner time. When we arrived home there was a car parked out on the road with some people in it.

Daddy looked at Mummy and said, “Oh well, here we go than.”

Who should get out of the car but James, John and a really nice looking lady.

I thought 'That must be Joy. Silly lady if you ask me.'

Jean said in my mind, “Sis, give our birth dad a chance and be strong. I am right here. Remember I am half of you sis.”

The lady came over first and said, “Hello, I'm Joy Carter. I hope you will give Jim and John a chance to make amends.” She looked at me and said, “You must be Carla. My god!! How could anyone have even thought of you as a boy? You are a very pretty little girl and I wish you were mine.”

I just looked at Mummy and she nodded. As I was going to shake her hand she gave me a bone crushing hug and had tears in her eyes and said “Sweetheart, please give Jim a chance. He is hurting inside for the things he has done.”

I replied, “Alright, I’ll do it for you.”

She let me out of the hug and James and John walked over to where I was standing. I backed away a little but Jean was there and said, “Sis it's alright, he is hurting and is about to cry so let him hug you.”

I didn't know what I felt but I could feel James my birth father hugging me and he was shaking with sobs and said, “Oh my dear sweet girl, will you ever forgive me for what I did?”

For some reason I didn't cry and I looked him in the eyes and saw a broken soul and then Jean was in my mind, and said, “Daddy James, if you can hear me just nod.” To my surprise he had his eyes closed and nodded.

Jean continued, “Daddy, I am Jean and am the other half of Carla's soul and also your daughter. You have changed, but Mummy, Rita and Carla have a new life. You can look but you must not try to change their lives or I will have to intervene. Is that understood?”

James just nodded and opened his eyes full of tears.

I silently said, “Thank you sis.”

She replied, “It's ok Carla, he wont cause any trouble. He has become a weak man dominated by the person that hugged you earlier.”

I thought 'Wait till I tell Mummy that!'

Jean said, “Too late sis, I already did.”

Mummy gave me a wink just as my now six foot brother John picked me up like a little kid and hugged and kissed me on the cheek.

I said, “Ok John, glad to see you. Now put me down please.” I still wasn't all that friendly towards them and who could blame me?

After all this, Joy and the two men she was boss of went to stay at the caravan park. Apparently they had their own van and it was parked there.

'Good' I thought.

“Now now” said Jean with a giggle.

With all the excitement over we went inside. Mummy and Rita got dinner on the go; Daddy got on the phone to Brian who was his best man for the second time, and sorted out what had to happen with the cars tomorrow. Jenny, Chrissie and I got our gowns out and tried them on and also made sure that we tried the new bras on. Jenny and I had small breasts and only needed a bit of help but Chrissie needed a bit more help. When we decide that Chrissie could be a flower girl we went back to Mary and she had a gown made that matched mine and Jenny's. so we could look like the three angels that we were!!!.

Mummy and Rita came in to the bedroom and looked us over and said “We'd do” (!) and “Get those gowns off before you get dirt on them” and to make sure that they were hung up so they didn't get crushed.

We went and had dinner and talked about how James had changed when Daddy said, “Well that's what a good woman will do for a man.”

Mummy and I just giggled and winked at each other and Daddy said, “What's so funny?”

Mummy replied, “Just a private joke Darling.”

Jenny said, “Mummy, where are you going for your honeymoon?”

Daddy looked at Mummy and said, “Well Donna, we can go anywhere you want but I'm happy to do whatever you want.”

Mummy said, “In answer to your question Jenny, we will just stay here and go on a holiday later on, once Rita can run the restaurant on her own.”

I said, “Mummy, Aunty Bella is there - why can't she just show Rita what to do?”

She replied, “Carla, your Aunty Bella is not a spring chicken any more and I don’t think she wants to do any more than work in the kitchen.” Then she said “It's not as though your Daddy and I haven’t been together is it?”

Chrissie and Jenny were giggling at that and Mummy said “Well it's true - we have been living as husband and wife so what's the big deal about a honeymoon anyway?”

Daddy said, “Whatever you want darling, you're the boss.”

Mummy and I broke out in giggles and Daddy said, “What is it with you lot? Every time I say something you two start to giggle.”

Mummy said, “Carla do you want to tell him I will I?”

I said, “Well Daddy we really should let Jean tell you, but she said that Joy has dominated James and John to the point where they do anything she tells them to.” That got every one laughing and the night ended on a happy note.

We went to bed and it wasn't long before the whole household was asleep. It was spring and the weather was warming up, so Ginger was sleeping out on the verandah again so the possums had company those nights.

Saturday 5/9/59
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was the first to be awake and jumped up with a start and made the other two jump as well. I got out of bed and pulled the blankets off Jenny and Christine so they couldn’t go back to sleep.

Jenny said, “What's the time it must only be midnight?”

I said “No it's six am on the big day, so get up and we can have a shower before anyone else hogs the bathroom. Jenny and Chrissie crawled out of bed and grabbed a towel each and we walked down to the bathroom. It is spring and the mornings were cool but not cold, it was going to be a glorious day for a wedding.

We had a shower but didn't bother washing our hair because we all had appointments with the hair salon at nine am in town. It was a waste of time doing anything with our hair so we just put it into ponytails for now. Mummy and Rita did the same. Mummy and Daddy were already in the kitchen preparing breakfast as well as Rita. Us three girls just kept our dressing gowns on till Mummy told us what to do about clothes till it was time to get dressed for the wedding later on.

Mummy said “As you girls have had a shower, breakfast isn't quite ready so go and get dressed in Jeans, t-shirts and thongs so we can get down to the hair salon nice and early.”

We had breakfast and got into Mummy's car. Daddy was already gone to play with the wedding cars that had to have dolls and ribbons put on them. When we arrived at the salon it was still only eight forty five but Jill the owner and her two helpers Jane and Cleo were there ready to work on the wedding party and others as they came in, but we took priority over any other customers. Us three girls were being done by Jane and Cleo, and Rita and Mummy had Jill doing theirs. The styles were all the same, a loose but teased outlook to make it look a lot fuller and the roses would be put in just before we got into the cars to be driven to the church.

Us three girls had our make-up done and were told not to touch our face or smudge it because everyone would be busy and wouldn't have time to retouch our make up if we messed it up. Before it was done, Mummy made us have something to eat so we wouldn’t be eating after we were done.

We left the salon and went home to get ready. Dressing in the gowns was easy because you step in and pull them up, so our hair and make-up was safe. Aunt Bella and Chrissie's Mum had the job of helping us girls getting dressed and they fussed over us like we were little babies, and it was rather funny having them pull and tug on the gowns to make every thing look just right. Of course we had extra padding in our bras to even give us some cleavage, ''The boys will be pleased wont they!!'

Mummy and Rita were ready and we all went out into the garden to have the first of the photos taken by Mary the dress shop owner. It was an absolutely beautiful spring day with a clear blue sky and the sun shining bright as ever.

Just as we were finished with the photos Samantha and her Mum Mary turned up in a taxi. Sam came over to give us a hug but we put our hands up and I said, “Air kissing only!! - make-up!!” so we all giggled and air kissed like they do in the movies.

Mummy and Rita looked beautiful.

I thought 'Daddy is a very lucky man to marry someone as pretty as my Mummy.'

The wedding cars pulled up in the driveway. They were two new Holden sedans that were loaned by the local dealer and the drivers were two young guys that worked for the dealer as well. They looked uncomfortable in the suits that were made to wear, but they looked really handsome and we three girls thought they were hot till Rita said, “They are far too old for you lot and have all got girl friends, and beside what would Billy and Ricky say if you were looking at other boys?”

Chrissie said, “But Rita I haven't got a boyfriend yet so can I look at them?”

Rita said, “Look but don’t touch Chrissie. You are too young I tell you!! Now behave so we can let them chauffeur us to the church.”

Jenny said, “Where are the men? Aren't they coming with us?”

Mummy said while she was laughing, “Jenny sweetheart, hopefully they are at the church waiting patiently for us to arrive.”

Aunt Bella now said, “Right, time to put the roses in your hair and check your make-up.”

We were helped to get into the cars so we didn't crush the gowns getting in. Rita and us three girls travelled in one car and Mummy was in one on her own.

The cars pulled up outside the main gates of the church, and we got out first so we could give Mummy a hand to get out of the car, and then make sure she had no wrinkles in her dress and her hair and make-up was perfect before she started to walk down the aisle. Tom Granger was at the door and offered Mummy his arm because he was giving away the bride today.

Daddy and Brian were at the front of the church waiting, looking very handsome in their suits with the yellow roses in their suit lapel button holes. The people all looked around to see my beautiful Mummy walk down the aisle to marry my beautiful special Daddy. Rita, Jenny and I followed with Christine a little further back. She was not a bridesmaid but a flower girl. Mummy and Daddy and Daddy's best man Brian stood at the altar and Pastor Miller started the ceremony.

The choir was standing assembled behind the altar to one side and when Mummy and Daddy were signing the register they sang 'Amazing Grace.' Then one of the older girls in the choir sang 'Ave Maria' solo with Miss Alcorn playing an electric organ. When Mummy and Daddy walked out to the front of the church everyone had a handfull of rice and threw it over them, Pastor Miller doesn’t allow confetti to be used because it is too hard to clean up.

Mary had the wedding party assemble so she could take the all important photos for an album. That took about an hour to accomplish and then it was a walk across the churchyard into the reception where most of the people had already found where they were seated and what relatives they would have to put up with! The main table had Mummy, Daddy, Rita, and Brian, and Jenny, Chrissie and I sat at the next table with Ricky, Billy and Chrissie's new friend Alan. Samantha and her Mum were at the next table and Sam was sitting next to her 'girlfriend' named Sandra. Sam looked happy so that was all that mattered to me. She will always be a special friend.

The band were people that Daddy knew from the caravan park and it consisted of a girl that played the banjo and did the singing, another girl that played an electric organ, and an older man who played I think what is called an Irish whistle. The music they played sounded incredible and when they started to play it was time for the bridal waltz. Mummy and Daddy are really good dancers. They danced a few minutes and then other people joined in including us girls and boys. Rita was dancing with Peter when James asked her if he could interrupt and continue the dance and to my surprise she said '”Yes.” I guess he just wanted to talk to her before he left. John did the same with Mummy. It was nice in a way to see that all the hostilities seemed to be gone. I still kept my distance though.

While I was dancing with Ricky, Jean was in my head having a ball and I could feel her trying to guide my body which made me feel like I was dancing on air. Ricky said “Carla is that Jean I can feel in my chest?”

I replied, “Yeah Ricky, you will be marrying two women”

He said, “Bigamy!!” Jean gave him a little jolt and Ricky said, “Only joking Jean.”

The day was at an end and we finally made our way home to the big old Queenslander that we called home.

Authors note

This is where I will leave 'The Girl inside the Boy'. It is the end of Book One. When the story continues it will be called 'Carla's Journey' and starts seven years on from the wedding. The boy is gone, and was never really there in the first place. I thank all the people that commented and gave me private messages - it made it all worthwhile to tell Carla’s story. My thanks also to Bronwen for editing the story.

There will be a small break and I will start writing the next stage of Carla’s life which will be titled 'Carla's Journey'. Please watch out for it.

Hugs to all, Ronnie