Half a pound

Half a pound of tuppenny rice,
Stick it in some old hose,
Pop them in the cups of my bra,
I'm a girl and nobody knows.

Up and down the City road,
Wearing six inch heels,
Strutting in my slinky dress,
Oh how good it feels.

Lucy

Lucy Locket lost her pocket
Dr Fisher removed it;
Not a gonad was there in it
And you'll never guess where they shoved it.

Mary had a little lie
Her body tol' the worl'
Although she was built like a guy,
beneath she was a girl

She went dressed to school one day
It contravened a rule
The other children laughed at her
And treated her quiet cruel

And so a teacher gave a shout
And made her linger near
Waiting by the school's way out
For her parents to appear

“Why did you wear a dress to school?”
Her distraught mother cried.
“I can't help it, Mum,” she said.
“It's something I can't hide.”

Wee Willie Winkie, face in a mess,
Staring in the mirror in his mother's nightdress,
Used too much makeup, feeling kind of down.
Wants to be a princess, but he looks like a clown

Hey Willie Winkie, is your mother coming in?
What will she think when she finds out what you've been
Up to in her absence? Think she'll be glad,
That the girl who stands before her is actually her lad?

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me,
Think I'll get rid of my worm
Chop off my testicles, invert my scrotum,
See how it makes them all squirm

New clothes I now wear; painted nails and pretty hair,
Show off the woman in me
People still stop and stare, wondering if I'm all there,
But now at least I feel like I'm free.

Of course I'm not all there; the worm is gone.