Tracy lay back slowly, a look of confusion all over her face. “Water.” She said in a raspy voice. Conner held up a glass with a straw and he let Tracy take a drink. Then he pulled it away in mid drink. She tired to follow the straw, but he held her back again.

“Sorry, but the nurse said you could drink a little when you woke, but they want to check on you before you have too much.”

His grandchild moaned, but she lay back and looked at the other side of the bed, then back at her grandfather. “Mom isn't here?”

“She's with Modine in the cafeteria. She needed a break. We've been taking turns with you and Modine.” He said, then he sighed. “Tell me Troy, what do you remember?”

December 2nd 1982
Oroville Hospital

Tracy awoke in a room that wasn't hers, nor was it her grandmothers guest bedroom. One eye opened, then the second one opened up, but some hair was covering her eyes and her vision seemed to be a bit hazy. She reached one hand up to investigate and immediately felt something on her wrist. She brushed her hair aside and found the vision problems were still there a little. “What the heck?” Her voice was rough and groggy and her throat was dry. She looked around the room and realized she was in a hospital. Then her gaze fell on a figure she never thought she'd see sitting by a hospital bed. At least not for her.

Conner opened up his eyes from his nap as he heard his grandchild moving around and he leaned forward, gently putting a hand against the young child's chest to keep her on the bed. “Don't move. You don't need to put any pressure on the site.” He said in a soft tone. “The doctors say you're in bed for at least a day.” As she lay back on the bed, she realized that there was a growing pain in her chest and she wasn't going to complain.

Tracy lay back slowly, a look of confusion all over her face. “Water.” She said in a raspy voice. Conner held up a glass with a straw and he let Tracy take a drink. Then he pulled it away in mid drink. She tired to follow the straw, but he held her back again.

“Sorry, but the nurse said you could drink a little when you woke, but they want to check on you before you have too much.”

His grandchild moaned, but she lay back again and looked at the other side of the bed, then back at her grandfather. “Mom isn't here?”

“She's with Modine in the cafeteria. She needed a break. We've been taking turns with you and Modine.” He said, then he sighed. “Tell me Troy, what do you remember?”

She was starting to hate being called that, but she was in no shape to correct him. “I was in the fields walking, I think...yeah. Then I decided to go to the house.” Tracy sat there, letting the memories come slowly back. “Bruce was outside with Frankie and two other kids. They......” Her face darkened and she looked away. She could recall the sound of the fabric being cut and the tone of Bruce's voice. She didn't want to relive that, not at the current moment at least. “They chased me, I ran for my house, but they beat me there and then I ran for your place, but they caught me.” A tear formed in her eye.

“Take your time.” Conner said, then he placed a gentle hand on Tracy's. That caused the child to look even more confused.

She took a breath and continued with her memories. “They started hitting me.....” She sat there, shaking her head. “I don't remember anything else. What happened? Why am I here?”

Conner moved his seat with one hand so he could face Tracy, but his other hand held onto the child. “Troy, or is it Tracy.” He sighed. He nodded to himself. Modine had told him how to deal with this and he had already failed. “Tracy, I got a few things I need to say, and I'll try and help fill in the blanks for you, okay?”

Tracy nodded, unsure what to do now that he was using her female name. “Yeah.”

“I know you know that I know about the dresses and stuff.” He said. Tracy just nodded. “At first I was angry. All my life I've thought that men who wear dresses were weak. I know I've been a jerk to you for years, just because you're not like most boys your age. I was so afraid that my Grandson, the good one mind you, was going to become a fag that I started to hate you.” He wiped a few tears out of his eyes and shook his head.

“I even talked to your father about it after you got back from Livermore and he defended you. I was going to find a way to make a man out of you, somehow. But then I watched you being attacked.” Conner stopped and a chill ran up Tracy's spine. “Troy...sorry. Tracy, you may not remember, but one of those boys hurt your grandmother. I was already running to get to you, but I wasn't going to make it in time...” He turned away for a moment, wiping at his eyes once more. He slowly looked back, his eyes showing more sadness then she had even seen. “Where they hurt you, most guys wouldn't have been able to stand for hours. I know that from personal experience. But you found the strength to stand up. Hell, you still fought.”

He looked in Tracy's eyes and gave a sad smile. “I learned something yesterday. I should have know it all these years, but I learned it for the first time yesterday. You judge a man......or woman, by what's inside, not the cover. You were hurt and you still were ready to protect your grandmother. By all rights, you shouldn't have even been standing when you were. So I don't care what you want to be in life, boy, girl, man or woman. You proved yourself to me yesterday. You're the type of person I wish I could be.” He gave Tracy's hand a light squeeze. “No matter how you dress. I just hope you can forgive me for all the years that I've been a hateful jackass to you.”

“I can Grandpa.” Tracy squeezed his hand back.

“There's the man I married.” A soft voice called from the doorway, causing both Tracy and her grandfather to turn and look. There in a wheelchair sat Modine, a cast on one arm and a large bandage on her cheek. Maggie was behind her and wheeled the older woman in. Conner bent down to kiss his wife as she stopped at Tracy's bedside.

“Grandpa, you said they hurt me?” Tracy asked, she was trying to make her mind work, but the drugs for the pain was proving a great hindrance. “Where?”

“I......” Conner replied. He rested in his seat and began to cry, thinking about all the hassles he had given the child and all the troubles his life had in store for him now.

“Grandpa, how bad is it.” Tracy asked, but Conner didn't reply. Instead the next voice she heard was her Grandmothers.

“I'll never lie to you. It was bad, Sweetie.” She put a hand over his and gave it a light squeeze. “They broke a rib or two and you got a massive bruise on your face, possible damage to the eye. Your wrist is possibly sprained. They also...” She shook her head and turned away for a moment.

She heard movement from the door and looked to see, through his blurry vision that was slowly getting better, her father walking in. “Sweetie....” Maggie began to tear up as she moved to the seat on Tracy's other side. “They had to remove a testicle. Those boys had hurt you so bad, there was no saving it.” She began to sob and William moved to put an arm around her.

“But don't I have one left?” She asked, having very limited knowledge of the human anatomy. Everything she had learned so far had come from a health book her mother had, that and the magazines and books that William thought he had hidden from two nosy children. Their school only taught sex education to the eighth grade. She failed to think about the benefits for Tracy through this event. Her thoughts were coming slow, mainly from the drugs, but as she sat there, she became aware of a pain down there, starting off slow and gradually building up.

“No.” William replied. He locked his jaw so he couldn't burst into tears. “When you were born there was a problem and one was removed before you were a year old.”

“Oh.” Was the only reply that Tracy could come up with.

“Ah, I see our young hero is awake.” A woman in a nurses uniform walked in with a clipboard in hand.

“What? Hero?” Tracy asked trying to sit up slightly. “I'm no hero.”

“I beg to differ.” The woman smiled. “You defended your grandmother when you were hurt. You put yourself in harms way to protect another. That's a hero in my book.” She stepped closer to the bed.

Tracy smiled at her and lay back in the bed. “Who are you?”

“I'm your nurse, well one of several. I'm Carly. I need to check you out and make sure your feeling better. Is that okay with you?”

“We'll be outside.” Conner said as he moved to to wheel his wife out of the room.

“You need us here?” William asked Tracy.

“If you can?” Tracy looked from William to her mother to the nurse

“It's fine.” Carly replied. “Due to the nature of the injuries, It may be better if you stay for the first few check ups.” She pulled a curtain around so it blocked the bed from the door.

“I can do that.” Maggie replied. “I was able to get a few days off of work.”

“How long have I been here?” Tracy asked.

“Well it's only eight in the morning now. You came in yesterday afternoon and you've been sleeping since the surgery.” Maggie replied.

“What about school?” Tracy looked from her Mom to her Dad.

“I called them a few minutes ago. They know where you are and that it may be a couple of days till you get released. Vance will bring your homework with him today when he's done.” Maggie replied.

“Oh.” She relaxed a bit.

“Okay kiddo, I need to check on the dressings, so don't worry, okay?” The nurse said.

“Okay.” She lay her head back as she felt the sheet being lifted. She didn't want to get into the whole Tracy or Troy mess with the hospital. She blushed as she felt a pair of hands touching her in places that a limited few had touched, most of them were either medical professionals or family. Then something occurred to her.

“Mom?” She asked, her voice trembling from fear. “Um....”

“What is it?” Her mother asked, moving a bit closer and lowering her voice.

“Does everyone know what I was wearing yesterday afternoon?” Tracy asked, fear embedded in her voice.

“Yes.” Maggie replied with a slight nod.

“People are gonna find out...I'm dead.” She began to hyperventilate in the bed.

Carly pulled the sheet back over her and looked to the young kid in the bed as she pulled off a pair of gloves. “Relax. Start breathing slower.” Her voice was firm, but soothing. “I need you to breathe slower. Do as I say now. Breathe in and hold. Till I say release.”

Tracy breathed in and Carly held up one finger, then a second. “Release but don't breath in till I tell you.” Tracy let it out and Carly stood there, watching and holding up one finger, then the next. “Now breath in and hold it for a count of three.”

Tracy followed her orders and the process took several minutes, until her breathing was slowed. Carly put a hand on Tracy's shoulder. “As for what you were wearing, we're all under doctor patient confidentiality. That means we can't tell anyone about anything without the threat of a major law suit. So your secret is safe here. None of us will treat you different due to a simple change of clothes.”

“Really?” Tracy asked, not sounding at all convinced.

“I promise, none of us will say a word.” Carly held up a blood pressure cuff. “Now relax, 'cause I need to do a couple more tests, okay?”

“Okay.” Tracy said and lay back on the bed, looking to her parents.

“It's gonna be okay.” Maggie tired to reassure her.

“What if that other kid says anything?” Tracy looked at her mom, her breaths were beginning to pick up their pace again.

“Now enough of that.” Carly said in a firm tone while giving her a stare. “Breathe slowly or we make you go to sleep, got it?”

“Sweetie, Bruce, Frankie and that Kenny kid are in juvenile hall. They all had prior records an were on some form of probation. There may be a court case, but don't worry about that or them, they're all gone for now. “

“No. There was a fourth kid.” Tracy replied. “They caught me in the field, there was a guy who tried to stop Bruce, but I don't know his name.”

“A fourth?” William looked to his wife, hints of worry flashed across his face. “Does he go to school with you?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“What are you thinking Will?” Maggie asked.

“The cops said it's a cut and dried case. It's already looking good for her. I mean they attacked her and Mom on the property, without being invited. They could have killed both of them, so yeah...” William replied. “But this fourth kid. That could cause problems for Tracy...um Troy at school.”

Maggie nodded and thought about it. “Baby, if we managed to get copies of the school pictures, could you point out this boy?”

“I think so?” Tracy nodded.

“I'm on it.” William bent down and kissed his child’s forehead. “You hang tough and you should be out shortly.”

“Thanks Dad.” She watched as he walked around the curtain and could hear him walking out the door.

“Tracy?” Carly asked, this caused Tracy to look at her. “I think it's a beautiful name. I got to admit, when you first came up, I thought you were a girl, till I heard what the injuries were. That and the confusion on the paperwork.”

Maggie blushed. “Sorry, I was a bit preoccupied.”

“It's fine. No one expects to go to the ER. It's not something you can plan for.” Carly replied, then she looked at the child in the bed. “Tell you what, when it's just you and I, I'll call you Tracy, but only if you want.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I'd like that.”

“Well then Tracy.” She paused as the young girl in the bed beamed at her. “I'll let the doctor know you're awake. She'll be in to check you out soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Tracy nodded.

“Well, I need to get going, but after the doctor sees you, we'll see about getting some liquids in your before you can have anything to eat.”

"Cool." Tracy watched Carly open up the curtain and walk out. “Mom, what do we do now?”

“We take things one step at a time.” Maggie replied. “That's all we can do.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy sat there in her bed less then half an hour later. The door had been shut this time to keep the doctors voice from traveling into the hall. Only Maggie was in the room with her, but at least someone was there for her. She was feeling a bit uncomfortable as the doctor poked and prodded at the incision site. Finally the doctor stood up. “I know your mother explained what we had to do, I wasn't going to cover it again, but I felt you needed to know.” She pulled up a chair and sat next to Tracy. “There was a lot of damage to the one remaining testicle. There was no way to save it. There was also some tissue damage to the penis, but with time, we feel that will heal.”

She looked down to see that Tracy had looked down and was blushing a bright red. “Sorry to embarrass you with this, but you do need to know, it is your body.” She smiled gently at the girl in the bed. “With the nature of the surgery we have a few rules that you need to follow. First is no heavy lifting for a couple of weeks. I'll set the limit at five pounds for now. We'll have a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks to see how you're healing. Second is that you'll need to move around a bit. Limit climbs up the stairs to two trips a day for the first week.”

Tracy nodded as the Doctor continued. “Starting tomorrow we'll have you walk the halls. Due to your other injuries, we'll be keeping you in bed one more night. When you sit, no crossing your legs. Sit with legs open. And most importantly. No driving for a week.”

Tracy chuckled. “I can't drive yet.”

“Well, don't pick this week to learn. That can wait a week.” The doctor joked again. “I've got a list of other things but your mother can hold on to those. Normal things, no pushing yourself. If it hurts, stop doing it.”

“Okay.” Tracy nodded. “Um...I was wondering....” Her gaze fell and she found it hard to maintain eye contact with the doctor.

“She's worried about what she was wearing when she came in. The nurse tried to reassure her, but she's worried.” Maggie supplied.

“Ah. I see.” The Doctor stood up and looked down at her young patient. “I don't mind what you were wearing, and we can't divulge that information with anyone. So don't worry.”

“Thank you.” Tracy replied, though she didn't believe her too much.

“But as your doctor, it is my job to help as best as I can.” She looked to Maggie. “Has he been wearing girls clothes much?” When neither Maggie or Tracy replied, she added. “Any thing you say doesn't leave this room.”

“Yeah.” Maggie finally replied. “She..I mean he wants to be a girl.”

“I see.” She pulled out a small tablet and scribbled down a number, then handed it to Maggie. “This is the number for a friend of mine in Chico. Give her a call, she a psychologist who deals with these gender issues a lot and she may be able to help you out.

Maggie began to chuckle. “Actually, I've already called. We got the number from a referral in the Bay Area.

“Makes sense, she did live there for a while.” The doctor smiled. “Well, we'll make sure that the nurses get some clear liquids in here for you. When you can keep those down, we'll move to food. No soda for a few days I'm afraid.”

“Awww.” Tracy slumped back into her bed. “I wanted a grape soda.”

“Sorry, but the more you listen, the sooner you get better.” The doctor replied. “I'll be in tomorrow to check on you, but if something comes up, let the nurse know and they can contact me.”

“Okay, we will.” Maggie replied. She watched the Doctor head for the door. “Well, that went well.” She said, turning back to her daughter.

“Yeah.” Tracy faced her mother as she lay there, then in a quiet voice, she asked. “Mom? Was I stupid for going outside like I did?”

“I don't think so baby. They were there either way. They started something, they may have if you were Troy at the time.” Maggie replied. She had seen her daughters shirt, the clean cut up the middle and the cut along the skirt. She had an idea what almost happened, but she didn't want to bring it up. Tracy was going to have enough of a hard time to deal with.

“I just feel stupid for it.” Tracy shook her head. “So totally stupid.”

“It's okay kiddo. We all make mistakes, and no one could have expected Bruce to be on the property.” Maggie handed her daughter a cup with a straw. “No one could have known he'd attack you there.”

“What about school?” Tracy asked. “What if that kid talks?” She took a drink and lay her head back

“Honey, we'll fight this one battle at a time. But if he said anything, it could go bad for him too. He was there as well.” Maggie said.

“What do you mean?” Tracy sat up slightly, till pain danced across her chest and she lay back.

“Think of it this way. Three boys attacked you. If he was there, he's at least an accessory. That means he had a part in it and is just as guilty.” Maggie replied. “So he may not call any attention to himself.”

“And if he says anything?” Tracy looked at her mother.

“Then we handle it legally. That's all we can do.” Maggie said as she gripped her daughters hand gently.

“Peter?” She blinked a couple of times.

“Yep.” He nodded. “Come on, lets walk.”

She gripped the walker and slowly made her way down the hall. “You came to visit me?”

“Yeah. I wanted to skip school, but Mom wouldn't let me.” He said with a shrug. “And they wouldn't let me out of their sight yesterday. I was here Wednesday night, but you were out of it and the nurses made me go home.”

“Oh. Thank you for coming, even if they made you leave.” Tracy said with a smile.

“i had to see ya. After that fight....” He wiped at his eyes before a tear could form.

December 3rd 1982
Oroville Hospital

Tracy was released from her bed-rest, long enough to get up and go to the bathroom and to try and walk. The doctors needed her to walk to help her get better faster. She needed it too. Being stuck in a bed and with nothing good on TV to watch was driving her crazy. She had already dealt with the Sheriff department and left a statement, so this left her with more nothing to do. So she was let loose in the pediatric ward with her mother and instructions to take it easy. They had offered a walker, so she didn't try to up the pace and hurt herself, but like with most children, she thought she was invincible and she refused it. That was before she made it halfway around the ward.

She was resting while her mother went to get the small walker. Her hand against the wall, mostly because she was afraid if she sat down she wouldn't want to get up. Someone stepped to her side and pushed the walker in front of her. “Here you go.” The voice wasn't her mothers and it cause her to snap her head to see who it was. A move she instantly regretted as pain danced up her ribcage.

There he stood, her knight in shining T-shirt. Peter. He had a look on concern on his face. “Your mom said to bring this to you. I said I'd walk with you.” He replied to an unasked question. “I think she needed to grab something to eat, or something.”

“Peter?” She blinked a couple of times.

“Yep.” He nodded. “Come on, lets walk.”

She gripped the walker and slowly made her way down the hall. “You came to visit me?”

“Yeah. I wanted to skip school, but Mom wouldn't let me.” He said with a shrug. “And they wouldn't let me out of their sight yesterday. I was here Wednesday night, but you were out of it and the nurses made me go home and then you woke up.”

“Oh. Thank you for coming, even if they made you leave.” Tracy said with a smile.

“I had to see ya. After that fight....” He wiped at his eyes before a tear could form.

She took a careful breath, not wanting to hurt her ribs by breathing in too deep. “How was school?”

“It sucked not having you there.” He answered. “Took to long to get over with. I missed having you there to talk to for lunch.” His gaze never left the floor and his voice sounded like he was about to cry.

“Did anyone say anything about me being gone?” Tracy asked.

“There were all sorts of rumors. Someone heard that Bruce had planned to go to your place and now some of them think your dead. Someone saw Bruce in a cop car so they think he did kill you. I tried to tell them that you were okay, but only a few people believed it. Mary Beth Higgins saw you come in here, but she tried to insist you were dead.

Tracy froze in mid step. Mary Beth was a huge gossip at school. “Did she say what I was wearing?”

“No, she said you had shorts on that were blood red, so you had to be dead.” Peter replied with a chuckle.

“Sounds like her.” Tracy replied.

“I thought so too.” Peter lowered his head as they began to walk again. “When I saw what they had done to you I got mad. I wanted to break them, I wanted them to scream.” He stopped and turned away from her.

“Peter. It's okay.” She said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“No it's not.” He shook his head. “They hurt you. I should have been there to protect you.”

She put her other arm around him and hugged him lightly from the side. “You were there when it counted.” As she leaned against him, she noticed how tired she was. “Hey, help me back to my bed. I think I could use a nap.”

“Okay.” He said, letting her set the pace down the hall. After they were half way to the room he looked at her. “Hey um...” He looked to the floor and thought about how to ask his next question

She looked at him for a moment. “What?” She asked.

He leaned in a whispered, unsure who knew what. “I want to know. Are you Tracy now? I heard your parents call you that at your grandma's and I don't want to insult you.”

“Can I ask you a question first?” She asked as they began walking again. .

“Yeah.” He nodded

“Would you miss me if I was no longer Troy?”

They walked down the hall as he thought about it. As they neared the door he finally answered. “I...I don't know.” He said. “Aren't you Troy and Tracy?”

“I don't know anymore.” She replied as they went into the room. “The more I'm forced to be Troy, the more I hate it.”

“Oh.” He answered and his cheeks began to turn a slight red color.

“Did you mean what you had said the day you found me? About being who makes me happy?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He replied as they stopped by her bed. He turned to look away. “At least I thought I did. But the more I'm around Tracy, the more I like being around her.”

“But at my Grandma's, you called me Troy?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Because, I wasn't sure...I was scared and I hated myself for yelling that. You were dressed at Tracy, but there....” He plopped into a seat and began to shake his head. “I didn't mean to hurt you if I did.”

“You didn't hurt me.” Tracy replied. “And to answer your question, It's Tracy now. At least till I talk to a doctor who knows about these things.”

Peter looked up and his cheeks were still a deep red. “Good. I hope I can hang out with Tracy more.”

“Why?” She asked.

“Because. I think you're cute when you're in your skirts and stuff.” Peter replied. I kinda like hanging out with Tracy, 'cause your the cutest girl I know.”

“I...” She was stunned for a moment, then her mind kicked into gear. “Thank you.” She bent down, ignoring the pain that raced in her ribcage and she kissed his cheek. “That's for being there to save me.”

He looked up as she kissed his cheek once more. “And that's for saying I'm cute.” A huge smile crept across his lips. He touched the cheek she had kissed and he sat there. “Now help me get into this bed.”

“Okay.” He let her do a lot of the work, only helping to support her when she turned and tired to slid onto the bed. “I never heard, how bad did they hurt you? Other then what I see.”

She lay back on the bed and reached for her cup. “Bad.” She gripped the cup, but looked at him. “Want me to tell you?”

He thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Please.”

“Get comfortable.” She said as she grabbed a rolled up towel and placed the sheet over her. He watched as she placed the towel under the sheet, then moved it a little, wincing in discomfort. “It's not pretty.” And she began to tell him everything the doctor had told her.

~o~O~o~

Tracy became aware that she lay in bed, a feeling in her hand was slowly forcing her back into the land of consciousness. She brushed at her hand with her free hand and it came in contact with something else. She felt another hand slowly press against hers, then one pressed against her other hand. She slowly opened her eyes, and immediately shut them because of the light. A hand rested over her eyes and a voice spoke softly. “Try it a bit slower.”

She sat there and the hand slowly moved as she got used to the light. She followed the arm to the body it was attached to Tracy's jaw dropped open as she tried to figure out why the person she was looking at was sitting at her bed. “Sage?” She finally managed to say.

“Yep.” Sage replied.

“Sage?” Tracy blinked a couple of times, she gripped her hand, just to make sure she was really there.

“Um....I said yep.” Sage replied. “Maybe I should go get the doctor. You must have got too many hits to the head.” From the other side of her bed she heard a giggle. So she turned her head to see who else was there.

“Rachel?” Tracy said, looking to her other side. She looked back to Sage and behind her she saw her mother standing in the doorway with Sage's mother and Rachel's mother. “What are you two doing here?”

Sage smiled brighter. “Well Mom likes to go and just wander into hospitals all over the state to see if we know the people there and just our luck, you're in this one!”

“Really?” Tracy looked surprised.

Sage chuckled. “No you goof, we're here 'cause your here.”

“How did you know where I was?”

“Well the night you got attacked, your mother called your Aunt Shelly. She called my Mom and Rachel's mother to let us know. We begged our mothers to let us come up and skip school yesterday, but they wouldn't let us skip. So we managed to let them let us come up today.” Sage replied.

“Thank god it was just a half day of school.” Rachel stated.

“Your mom said you may be going home later today or tomorrow, so we wanted to be here to help.” Sage said. “Even if we have to go home on Sunday.”

“Really?” Tracy looked surprised, then she glanced at her mother who just nodded. “Wow.”

“Yep. Casey, Stacey and Brooke wanted to come and meet you, but Casey and Stacey's mom said no, not till she got to meet you and your parents. Brooke's got a game tonight, so she couldn't come. But they'll see you in a couple of weeks, if you still come down.”

“So who is Casey, Stacey and Brooke?” Tracy was trying to catch up with the conversation.

“The friends we mentioned when you were in Livermore?” Sage stated.

“You never used a name.” Tracy looked at her.

“I thought we did.” Rachel replied.

“It doesn't matter, I'm just glad you made it.” She held out an arm and Sage leaned in and lightly hugged her, then she turned to hug Rachel.

“So are we. We got to see Peter before he left. He's kinda cute. He was sitting there, holding your hand as you slept.” Rachel said with a huge grin. “He said you're bored. So he's going go home and get a board game and see if his mother will bring him back. If not, we got tomorrow to play.”

“Where are you staying tonight?” Tracy asked.

“They won't let us stay here, so your Grandma and Grandpa said our Moms could use their guest bedroom and we'll sleep on the floor. Or we may take over your bed in your place.”

“Cool.” Tracy replied.

“And tomorrow, the girls can sleep on the couch in our house if they want.” Maggie said as she, Rachel's mother and Persephone walked into the room. “Or tonight if we can release you.”

“Any chance of that?” Tracy looked at her mother.

“Depends on the doctor. Not much more they can do for the ribs and the wrist, but the other....That's what they got to watch.” Maggie replied.

“What about Grandma? Is she home?” Tracy sat up a little.

“No. They wanted to make sure there was no other problems, she may be in till tomorrow, but I was thinking of taking the girls and their mothers to meet her in a bit, if you want to go.”

“Wait, she wasn't in bed yesterday?” Tracy asked.

“She had to get some tests done, so we hit the cafeteria on the way back and she needed to see you.”

Tracy had started to smile, then it faded. “I don't know if I can go. I'm kinda tired. I'm not sure if I can walk that far. Still tired from my walk earlier.”

“We'll borrow a wheelchair and you can walk as much as you can, then you ride.” Maggie stated. “I'll go round one up, if you want to talk to the girls for a while.”

“Okay.” Tracy smiled at her mother. “I'd love that.

“Well, then you stay here and we'll be back.” Maggie headed to the door, followed by the other two mothers.

“So, how bad is it?” Sage asked as soon as the mothers had left the room. “Your mom almost said something else, but she didn't. What all happened?”

“Bad. I feel like someone is jumping on my ribs when I breathe. MY wrist is sprained. They were also afraid that I had eye damage. But I don't.”

“Okay, what didn't your mother tell us? The thing they got to watch?” Sage asked. Tracy closed her eyes and just lay there. “Come on, we wont tease you or anything, you should know that.”

Tracy tired to turn away, but she ended up looking at Rachel, so she just looked at the ceiling. It seemed easier to tell them without looking at them. “I was kicked...they had to remove a testicle.” Her cheeks went bright red.

“Oh shit.” Sage replied. “So that's what your mother meant when she was talking to my mom.”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked.

“She said they were shocked that you had gotten to your feet to protect your granny.” Sage replied. “At least your halfway to your goal.” She smiled at Tracy.

Tracy rolled her head till she faced Sage and shook her head. “Nope. I only had one.”

Sage leaned forward and hugged her lightly. “I so sorry. I hope they lock the bastard that hurt you away for life.”

“He may be. This isn't his first arrest.” Tracy replied.

“And all for wearing a skirt?” Rachel asked.

“No.” She looked at Rachel and shook her head again. “This was the guy I caught stealing at the school? The reason I was out of school last weekend?”

“That dickhead? So this had nothing to do with Tracy?” Sage asked.

“Nothing.” She replied. “Nothing at all.” It was a partial lie. Her being Tracy almost became a big thing, but she wasn't ready to share that. Not with anyone.

“Hey kiddo.” Her mothers voice sounded from the doorway. “We got your chariot, but the doctor is coming, so we need to wait on the visit.”

“Good.” Tracy smiled. Maybe I can get out of here.” She said with a smile.

“Hopefully.” Maggie replied.

“We need to get going. Troy will be checking out here shortly.” Maggie said, moving the chair past Mary Beth.

The young girl began walking with them. “Are you going to be in school Monday?”

“Maybe. It depends on how I feel by then.” Tracy replied.

“So what happened?” The girl asked again.

“I'd rather not talk about it. It's kinda personal.” Tracy said.

“So it's true? Bruce cut your...well you know, your thingy off.” She blushed as she said it.

Tracy's cheeks went just as red. “Who said that?” She asked.

“I heard it someplace.” The girl replied as she looked to the floor.

Maggie chuckled. “No, he didn't cut it off. If he had, Troy would be dead.”

December 3rd 1982
Oroville Hospital

The doctor had just finished her checkup of Tracy. Maggie had stayed in the room, but did her best to give her some privacy. Her friends and their mothers had waited outside, to also preserve Tracy's dignity. Tracy smiled at them as her mother began calling their house so her father could bring her some clothes. The two girls ran over, both had huge grins.

“So?” Rachel asked.

“I can go home.” Tracy replied, smiling back.

“She can go home, but she has to take it easy for a day or two, so no walking everywhere and no playing. You'll have to be content with her lying about.” Maggie clarified.

“Aww, Mom.” Tracy whined.

“Hey, you heard the doctor. You really want to be back here for pushing yourself? You know how tired you got just walking part of the halls here. You'll take it easy and we'll go from there.” Maggie moved to where she had put the wheel chair. “So come on, let's go see your Grandma before we go home.”

Tracy slowly got off of the bed and stood up, and she walked over to the wheelchair using very slow, small steps. Sage began to snicker, causing Tracy to stop. “What?”

Rachel went to her side and reached behind her, closing the gown a bit better. “Lets just say, if you had walked to your grandma, you would have given the whole place a great show.” Tracy's cheeks went bright red.

“It's okay, but you think they'd let you have underwear. Or something.” Sage replied.

“Not really. Something about rubbing against the site of the operation.” Tracy said.

Once Rachel was done tying the gown together, she sat in the chair and was wheeled out into the hall. It was an uneventful ride to the floor above in the elevator. They went down the hall and into Modine's room. Tracy's grandma was in one bed. The second bed by the window was empty, but showed signs of someone having been in it a little while earlier.

The older women smiled as she saw Tracy come into her room. “You look like you're doing better.”

Tracy's smile lit up the room. “I get to go home. I got to take it easy though. Do you get to go home too?”

“Yes. The x ray of my hip came back good. They just needed to know that everything was okay on the insides.” She said.

“Oh, is it?” Tracy asked.

“As far as they know. But you know how things can pop up.” Modine said.

“I'm sorry you're here. It's all my fault for leading them to your place.” Tracy dropped her head down and sat there looking at her lap. Modine gestured for Maggie to roll her closer.

“Alright, none of that. No moping” Modine said, then she deflected what could have been a bit of waterworks. “Now I see you brought guests, so maybe you should be polite and introduce them”

“Okay.” Tracy said as she turned in her wheelchair. Sage and Rachel stepped in and their mothers followed them. Tracy made quick introductions for everyone.

“So you're the young ladies my Granddaughter talked about when she got home.” Modine said, offering her hand out, the one not in the cast. At the mention of her being the granddaughter, Tracy smiled brighter.

“Yep.” Sage replied. “We tired to bring our other friends with us, but their mother said no.”

“It's good to meet you all.” Modine smiled at them. “I'm glad Tracy has some good friends to help her through with this.”

“We tired to get here yesterday, but our mothers said no.” Rachel replied.

“And with good reason.” Rachel's mother touched her daughters shoulder. “You still need your education.”

“You missed Conner. He's in the pharmacy, getting my new prescriptions filled.” Modine said.

Tracy looked to Sage and Rachel. “He actually said he was sorry, for everything he's done.” In their two days of sleepovers, she had told them all about her family, including her dad and grandfather.

“Really?” Rachel asked.

“Yep. He said he was proud of me for defending my Grandma.” She replied. “And I should be who I want.”

A nurse stepped in behind the girls before they could continue the questions. “Modine? We need to do another check up before you get released, okay?”

“Well, I think that's my cue to let you young ladies get going. We can talk later when I get home.” Modine smiled.

“Cool. I'd like that.” Tracy replied. She let her mother wheel her out of the room, taking a moment to wave at her grandmother before the curtain was pulled around the bed.

They were almost to the elevator when a younger girl about Tracy's age stepped out of one of the rooms. She gasped as soon as she saw Tracy in the wheel chair. ”Troy? I thought you were dead. So Peter was telling the truth?”

“Mary Beth, I'm not dead. Just a little hurt.” She replied with a roll of her eyes.

“But your clothes, they were blood red.” Mary Beth shook her head, as though the action could help her brain work better.

“That's because they were red.” Tracy shook her head.

“Boys don't wear bright red pants.” She said. She didn't continue the statement. She knew what he had been wearing. But instead of blurting it out she didn't say what she saw, she wasn't sure how to deal with this.

“I'll have you know it was my shorts. His got ruined in the fight. The other three guys tired to cut him bad, so he needed something to wear when he came to the hospital.” Rachel replied.

Mary Beth thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Oh...yeah that makes sense.” But she didn't believe it.

“Yep.” Rachel replied.

“So did Bruce really try to kill you?” Mary Beth asked.

“I'm sorry.” Maggie cut in. “We can't talk about that yet. Legal issues.”

“Oh...I'm sorry.” Mary Beth slumped her shoulders.

“We need to get going. Troy will be checking out here shortly.” Maggie said, moving the chair past Mary Beth.

The young girl began walking with them. “Are you going to be in school Monday?”

“Maybe. It depends on how I feel by then.” Tracy replied.

“So what happened?” The girl asked again.

“I'd rather not talk about it. It's kinda personal.” Tracy said.

“So it's true? Bruce cut your...well you know, your thingy off.” She blushed as she said it.

Tracy's cheeks went just as red. “Who said that?” She asked.

“I heard it someplace.” The girl replied as she looked to the floor.

Maggie chuckled. “No, he didn't cut it off. If he had, Troy would be dead.”

“Really?” She asked.

“Yes. But once again, you'll have to excuse us. We got a nurse waiting for us in Troy's room.”

“Oh....sorry.” Mary Beth replied. “I'll see you in school on Monday.”

“Okay. Bye Mary Beth.”Tracy replied.

They walked over and Sage ran ahead to call on the elevator. When they got in the elevator and the doors shut, Rachel looked to Tracy. “Is she really that clueless?”

“Yep.” Tracy nodded. “She's the biggest gossip in the school. I bet she's the one who said my thing was cut off.”

“Oh shit.” Rachel said as she began to rock on her heels.

Tracy turned to face her. “What?”

“You said she's the biggest gossip and I just told her that you were wearing my shorts. I just admitted you were wearing girls clothes.” Rachel looked to the floor. “I'm sorry Tracy.”

“Crap.”

“Language young lady.” Maggie leaned forward so her daughter could see her face. “We'll handle this when it happens. Till then there's no point in worrying about it.”

“Okay Mom.” She replied.

~o~O~o~

An hour later Tracy sat in the middle seat of Persephone's VW Bus, taking over one whole seat, with her legs on the bench. She wasn't happy with the sweats and lack of underwear, but she didn't want to push things too far. Rachel and Sage behind her. Her mother had taken over the passenger seat. Rachel's mom was with William.

As they quickly got out of the small town Tracy lived by, Sage tapped her shoulder. “That was it? That was the town you live in?”

“Not really. That's the bigger town we live near and we were just on the outskirts of it. Wait till you see where we live.” She pointed to a road as they turned at an intersection. “That way leads to the lake. Lots of camping up there.”

“See, we so gotta come here in the summer.” Sage said, then she looked to Rachel before the other girl could say anything. “Camping wont kill you.”

“It may.” She replied. “I may get eaten by a rabid chipmunk or a venomous duck.”

Tracy laughed, till she gasped and held her sides. “No making me laugh.”

“So, is Peter coming over tonight?” Sage batted her eyelashes at Tracy.

“Yes. I called his place when you were in the bathroom Tracy. Your Dad is picking him up on the way to the school.” Maggie answered for her.

“School? Why are we going there?” Tracy asked.

“You're Dad got Mr. Harper to agree to let you look at the pictures to see if we could see the fourth boy who attacked you. There was a basketball game tonight, so he'll be there till seven. That gives us about two hours. Plus Your father is going there for Vance's game. He already called the sheriff’s department so they can have someone there to take down any more information. ”

“You talked to the cops already?” Rachel asked. “Was it like in the movies? Did they use the room with the bright light and stuff?”

“I talked to them after I woke up on Friday. And I was in bed, they couldn't move me till later.” Tracy replied. “No, it was just a lot of questions over and over till the nurses and doctor got mad and kicked him out because they were making me mad and I couldn't move at all.”

“Wow. Think they'll do that here?” Rachel asked.

“Who knows?” Tracy shrugged.

“If they do, I will take you away from them.” Maggie replied. “They got one report, they don't need two. And you need your rest.”

Tracy nodded. “So act like I'm tired? Shouldn't be hard.” She pointed to Sage and Rachel. “What about them?”

“Well there's several hundred kids in your school I was thinking you could give them a description to all of us and we could look too.” Maggie gestured to Persephone. “It's kind of rude to just take them home and make them wait for us.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tracy replied.

“Okay girls, I doubt you'll remember, but this road on your right leads to our house. It dumps out on this road in a mile or so too.” Maggie said, pointing to the road. Persephone turned at it.

“I thought we were going to the school?” Tracy said, now extremely confused.

“We are, but I thought Persephone and the girls would like to leave their stuff at the house, as opposed to just leaving it in the back of the bus. Plus it gives your father enough time to go grab Peter.”

“Oh.”

“Okay, take it easy. Just up ahead the road is a forced turn to the left. You miss it and we're in the ravine.” Maggie said.

“Nothing like pressure to make you don't screw up.” Sage's mother said with a smile. She slowed down as they hit the turn. When they straightened out she picked up the speed. “Which one?”

“It's on the other side of that hill.” Maggie pointed to a big hill on the road. As they started down one side, Sage began giggling.

“She's like this on roller coasters too.” Rachel said shaking her head.

“COWS!” Sage began bouncing and pointing to the right side of the road.

“That's Lilly Scott's place. She's our neighbor.” Maggie said. The buses motor got louder as Persephone put her foot down. She let up near the top of the hill. “Just past this mobile home on the right. That's Modine's place.”

“Whoa, look at the old truck.” Rachel said, looking at a truck with more rust and dust on it then paint. “Uncle Frank would love that.”

“He does, he tired to get Conner to sell it before, but Conner uses it for farm work.” Maggie stated.

“Hey, what are those trees?” Rachel asked as Maggie pointed to a drive next to Modine's place and Persephone pulled in.

“Well the trees with no leaves are pecan trees. The ones with the leaves are olive trees.” Maggie replied as the bus pulled to a stop. “We also have three pomegranate tress here, one apple tree, one green apple and a fig tree. Not sure who planted some of those, but they must have been hungry for fruit.”

As Maggie got out and slid the back door open, Tracy blushed from embarrassment as the sight of her house. It was old and rundown. It badly needed a paint job, new windows and a ton of other work. “You want to wait?” Maggie asked her. “Or can you handle getting in and out a few times tonight.”

“I'm Okay in here.” She replied, her happy tone was now long gone. There were times she hated the house. Usually when someone was over to visit her.

Sage hopped out and was followed by Rachel. Sage began looking over the house and she understood why Tracy didn't mind her place in Livermore. She looked around the outside, then stepped to the side of the house. “Cool.” Her eyes went wide. “Rachel. Look, they got big birds here.”

Maggie raised an eyebrow and moved to the side of the house. She chuckled when she saw what Sage saw. “Meet the wild turkeys. Usually we have like twenty of them.” She gestured to the trees. “We get a lot of deer here too. And make sure the cats don't have the white stripe down their back if you try and pet them at night, those are skunks. But lets get your stuff put up for now. We can't keep the Principal waiting. I promise to let you look around tomorrow.”

“Cool.” Sage said with a smile.

~o~O~o~

Ten minutes later, Tracy found herself slowly walking into the main office of her school. Sage and Rachel were to either side and Peter was rushing ahead to open up the doors. They had added Vance into their group, who was playing in the basketball game. Mr. Harper met them in the lobby as he stood in the doorway watching the set up for the basketball game. The offices, both the principal and nurses, were connected to the auditorium that served as cafeteria too, plus it had the stage for the drama class and the band room was connected to that.

He turned as he heard the movement and he stopped and considered the group that Tracy had with her. “Well, you know you didn't need all this backup Mr Patterson.” He said, walking over to Troy and offering his hand. “How you doing, son?”

“I hurt. I feel like someone is dancing on my...my crotch.” She blushed brightly.

“That's normal. I had a brother that went through the same thing a couple years back because of cancer.” He replied.

“You know what happened?” Tracy asked, very nervously.

“I had to tell him and the nurse for when you came back to school, in case of problems.” Maggie piped in.

“Don't worry, the nature of your surgery will be kept from the mass populace of the school. Even the teachers will only know that you had something major done as a result of the attack, but with the rumors, it wont be hard to guess at what it was.”

“Oh.” Tracy replied. She didn't want it being too well known. But with stories like the one that Mary Beth had told then, someone was bound to make up something like what really happened.

“I've got the pictures in the office. Let me get the Deputy.” He went back to the auditorium and waved at someone, then he walked over to Tracy and her friends and family. “So what's with the big group?”

“These are friends of hers from out of town. They heard about the attack and they wanted to visit. Be a bit rude to just leave them at our place for a couple of hours.” Maggie replied.

“It would be.” Mr Harper agreed, ignoring Maggie's choice of words. Tracy was too busy being in pain to hear what she had said and the only recognition that William gave was a quick glance towards his wife, just the eyes, not a full move of the head.

“I was wondering if they could help us and cut down on the looking time. Tra...” Maggie's vocal filter caught the slip in time and she tired to save it. “oy. Can give them a description and we can look that way.”

Mr. Harper looked at her for a moment, wondering what she had started to say, but he just waved it off. He had been hearing strange rumors all over the school for the past two days. Something about Troy being maimed, and being dead. There were more, one of which he already had confirmation on and now he felt he needed to talk to them in private. “That's good. But before we begin, can I talk to you, your husband and Troy please?”

Maggie looked to a confused William, who just shrugged. “Sure.”

Mr. Harper led them into his office. The rest of the group stood in the outer office. On instinct he went around his desk and pulled out his chair. He had sat down as he watched William stand behind his wife, offering the other seat to his child. Tracy winced in pain as she sat down. The Principal waited a moment, then he started.

“I just wanted to let you know about some of the rumors that we've heard concerning your son in the past two days.” He watched as Tracy shifted in the seat, the child’s face was a mask of pain. “They run the gambit from stories of your son being dead to Bruce cutting off body parts.” He watched as Tracy kept fidgeting in the seat. “There even rumors that your son fought off ten guys single handed.”

He stood up as Tracy moved in her seat once more, grunting in pain. “Troy, get up for a moment.” He stood up and wheeled his chair around the desk. “I should have thought about the pain and those chairs. Try this out, but only for tonight.”

Tracy had stood up slowly, then she looked to her parents who nodded. Once she had the approval, she sat back in the seat and smiled. The seat had better padding then the other seat. In fact it was one of the most comfortable work types seats she had ever sat in. “Thank you, Sir. This is comfy. ”

“Being Principal does come with some good benefits.” He smiled as he moved to sit on the edge of his desk. “There's also a rumor going around that Troy was wearing a dress on the day Bruce attacked him. I'm not sure who is spreading it, but I have instructions with all the teachers to help stop it. It's a slander lawsuit in the making.” Maggie looked at William, who just kept his poker face going. The blood rushed from Tracy's face as it held a look of shocked fear, something Mr. Harper caught.

“Has anyone said who started it?” Maggie asked.

“Maggie, you know how these things work. Each kid will say they heard it from someone else. We can't suspend half the school, not till we know who is spreading the rumor. If I had to guess, it's either the boy you want to find today, or it's Bruce's brother, Clark. He worships the ground Bruce walked on, so getting him to admit it would be hard.”

“I understand.” William replied, nodding his head.

Mr. Harper paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to proceed. “Maggie, William, I don't care what Troy does in his spare time, if the rumor is true. As long as his schooling doesn't falter, that's my main concern. Well, That and his safety. He's a bright student. Polite and friendly. I've never had any trouble with him, other then the incident last week, but my hands were tied on that.”

He took a deep breath, then sat to where he could see both Tracy and her mother. “I would urge you to exercise a little more caution though.”

“What do you mean?” Maggie asked.

“I know I'm out on a limb here, but bear with me. In the hall you almost refereed to your child with another name and you said those were her, not his friends. You used the female pronoun. And just a moment ago, when I mentioned the rumor of the dress, your son lost the color in his face and looked like a scared animal.”

Before anyone could speak, Mr. Harper held a hand up. “Like I said, I don't care what he does as long as he is in a safe environment. But Troy, things like this can land you in a world of hurt if your not careful. You got to learn to control your facial reactions.” He stood up and looked to Maggie and William. “I should also tell, my wife was in the ER the night Troy went in. She was there with her mother. She knew you on sight, Maggie. And she remembered Troy from the Christmas program last year she saw what he was wearing. It's a small hospital, there's no back door to go though, so if anyone else was in the waiting room, they could have seen Troy in a skirt.”

Tracy's heart sank and she began to cry. Mr, Harper turned to face her, dropping to one knee. “Hey, what's with the tears?”

“Everyone's gonna find out.” She said between sniffles.

“Not from me they wont. And Karen wont tell either. She has a niece in New York like you, she's about nineteen and lives in Albany.” He smiled at her. “Your secret is safe with us. But this is why you need to work on your facial expressions. You got to be able to pull off the poker face your father has. If not people just got to ask you about dresses and you'll give it away.”

“You...” Tracy blinked and then wiped some tears out of her eyes. “You don't mind?”

“Well you can't wear them here, but at home? I don't mind. You don't seem to be suffering any mental issues from it, no more then the usual kid stuff, so I don't need to call the county people.” there was a knocking at the door and he stood up. “Look, anytime you need to talk, my door is open. I may not totally understand, but I'm behind you. I don't know about the other teachers, but I'm on your side.”

“Thank you.” Maggie said as she stood up.

“It's no problem,.” He opened the door to find the Deputy. “Sorry, had to cover a couple of school related things.”

“Oh, I totally understand. I just wanted to see if we can get working on this. I've got dispatch wondering what's taking me so long and I hate being in trouble.” He replied.

“Sure. We'll take over my office for privacy.” Mr. Harper turned around and smiled at Tracy. “Go ahead and keep the chair for now. Be best for you.”

“Should I do this?” Tracy asked, looking to her parents.

“What do you mean?” Maggie asked. “He attacked you, didn't he?”

“Well not really.” She replied.

“But he was there at the time of attack and he knew that it was going to happen, correct?” The Deputy asked.

“I don't know a part of him seemed surprised at what all Bruce wanted to do." Tracy replied.

"But he can help keep those other boys in jail. I'd do it just to be safe." Maggie stated.

She sat there as everyone filed into the office. “Okay, Troy, tell them what your looking for.” Maggie said, as Mr. Harper put the pictures on his desk.

“There was a fourth kid there on Wednesday. He left early, Bruce attacked him when he decided not to do what Bruce said. He's about my age, a bit older. Brown hair and kind of a bland face.”

“Wait.” Peter said, he moved closer to the desk. “Was he wearing a black Queen t-shirt?”

Tracy looked at him confused and nodded. “Yeah, how did you know?”

“That fucking son of a bitch.” Peter swore, gaining him the motherly stares from Maggie and Rachel's mother. He blushed. “Sorry. I saw him walking down your road, mumbling to himself. I just figured he had relatives there.” Peter locked his eyes on Tracy and his fists began to ball up. When he spoke again, his voice was strained and he looked ready for a fight. “Did he hurt you?”

“No. In fact Bruce and his friends first found me behind the barn. He was with them, but when it was shown that Bruce was going to hurt me, he left, after Bruce hit him.” She leaned back in the chair, all eyes were on her. “If he hadn't objected to what Bruce was going to do, I wouldn't have had the chance to run and get to Grandma's place.” After a second, she scoffed and added. “Not that getting there helped much.”

“Alright, on Track people, focus.” Mr. Harper looked to Peter. “Mr. lowery, can you point out who he is? Have you seen him around the school before?”

Peter nodded. “I think he's either in the sixth or seventh grade.”

“That narrows it down.” The Deputy remarked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Actually, it does. We have all grades here, first through eighth, but there's only three classes of each grade, so that gives us six homerooms to check out, and that’s better then twenty-four.” Mr. Harper stated.

The Deputy looked at Tracy. “And why did you fell the need to hide this information?”

William was about to speak, When Maggie stood up an glared at the Deputy. “We've spoke to your department once since she woke up. Your people felt the need to ask questions to a child who had just been through a major surgery and was still on pain killers. She didn't even recall the other guy till later.” It was a lie, but Tracy had enough problems.

“So why do you need to find this kid?” The Deputy asked. “You've got your mother, friend, Grandfather and Grandmother to say they attacked you.”

“We want to make sure that son of a bitch stays in jail.” William replied. “And this kid could help with that.”

“I understand.” The Deputy nodded. “I'll let you all work, let me know when you got an ID.” He walked out of the crowded office, talking into his radio as he went to find a chair in the outer office.

Mr. Harper spread out the class pictures of the sixth and seventh grades and everyone let peter look over them.

Sage and Rachel stood next to Tracy as Peter and Tracy looked over the pictures. Peter stopped and tapped one of them. “him.” He passed it to Tracy who nodded.

“Yeah. That's him.” The others moved from the desk so Mr. Harper could get a look

“Hmmmm.” He scanned the list of names at the bottom, drumming his fingers on the desk. “Jerry Rivers. I remember him now. New kid, just moved to the school district in August.” He picked up the pictures, then went to find the Deputy.

“Now what?” Tracy asked.

“Now we put it in the Law's hands.” William replied. “That's all we can do.”

~o~O~o~

The game was going on in the auditorium and Tracy didn't want to deal with the crowd in there, so instead she asked to go for a walk on the school grounds. Peter had gone with her in case of troubles and Sage and Rachel went along too. Persephone and Rachel's mother had stayed near the office with Maggie and William.

As they reached the far end of the school Sage shook her head. “Man, that's it? You're school is this small?”

“Wow, our school seems huge compared to this and that’s just an elementary school.” Rachel added.

“Well there's not a lot of people here.” Tracy said. “It's just farm lands.”

“I expected to see cows and horses grazing on the football field.” Sage said with a laugh.

“It's not that small.” Tracy replied.

“Compared to home it is.” Rachel looked at her and shrugged. “But it's okay.”

Tracy stopped by the bus stop and leaned against a wall. “Okay, lets go back and see if your mother can take us home.”

“Cool. Can we play a board game when we get home?” Sage gave her a big smile.

“Sure, I could use so fun in my life.” Tracy answered as she began the long walk to the office. Halfway there a couple of girls came running up and Tracy recognized Mary Beth and her older sister Emily May.

"You got out of the hospital?" Mary Beth said as she fell in step next to Troy, pushing Peter out of his spot. Her sister walked next to her.

"Yep." Tracy nodded.

"Were you visiting someone up there? We had gone to see my Granny. She got sick the other day and they wanted to keep an eye on her."

"My Grandma got hurt when I did." Tracy replied.

"Why are you walking so slow?" Emily May asked.

"I got hurt?" Tracy looked at her and then back at the goal of the office doors. They were so far away and she hoped she could make it.

"Oh." Emily replied. "You gonna be back on Monday?"

"Maybe. I'll be in pain, but I'll try."

"So who are they?" Emily May asked, pointing to the other two girls.

"Yeah, I forgot to ask earlier." Mary Beth said.

Tracy slowed to a stop and gestured to her friends. "This is Sage and Rachel." then she gestured to Emily May. "This is Emily May, Mary Beth's sister"

"Hi. Do you go to school here?" Emily asked.

"No, we go to Rancho Las Positas Elementary." Rachel replied.

"Where's that at?" Mary Beth asked.

"Livermore, in the Bay Area." Sage replied.

"You live in the Bay Area? We got family all over down there. We wanna move, but our Dad likes it here." Emily shrugged her shoulders. "But when I'm older, I'll move there."

"It is nice down there." Sage agreed.

Tracy began walking again, causing the five kids to walk with her.

"So is one of you his girl friend?" Emily May asked.

Tracy almost stumbled, but she caught herself and pain erupted in both her ribs and her crotch. Sage answered with a grin. "Neither of us are lucky enough to have him as a boyfriend."

"We're gonna be in the Bay Area around Christmas, maybe we should hang out? Our brother was going to go, but he wants to hang out with a different uncle and go skiing." Mary Beth said, taking a piece of paper out of her tiny purse. She pulled out a pen and began to write. "This is our Aunt's number, call it if you wanna hang out."

"Well I'll see." Sage said as she took the paper. "May be out of town visiting family in Vermont."

"Then her." Mary Beth took the paper back and pushed it to Rachel who took it.

"I'll see. Not really sure what Attila the Mom will have planned." Rachel said with a smile. "But we'll see." She pulled out a piece o paper from her own purse and wrote a number down. "Call that if you want, we may be home."

"Thanks." Mary Beth smiled at her.

Tracy reached the door, then she turned around and rested against the wall. "Okay, I need to go home."

"You okay?" Peter asked.

"Just tired. Been a long day and I need a nap." She replied.

"I gotcha." He opened up the door and let Tracy walk in. She stopped at her mother and the other mothers.

"Can we take off now?" She asked.

"Yeah." Maggie said after looking to Persephone and Rachel's mom.

"Cool." She turned to look at Mary Beth and her sister. "I may see you on Monday. If I can make it to school."

"Cool." the two girls smiled, then went into watch the basketball game. Tracy slowly lead the group to the bus as her mother stopped to tell her father that they were leaving. When they reached the bus, Tracy looked to Rachel. "Why did you take their number? You really wanna hang out with them?"

"Not really, they seem a bit clueless for my tastes, but if I hadn't they'd use that to claim you have stuck up friends." Rachel replied. "Plus if I get to talking to them, I can see if they are starting rumors about you. See, I have a point to this."

Tracy stopped and hugged her. "Thank you Rachel." She looked at the other girl. "You too Sage."

~o~O~o~

As the game was ending, Emily May and Mary Beth walked ahead of their brother and parents to the car. The older girl looked at her sister. "Are you sure it was a skirt?" She asked.

"Emily, I know what a skirt looks like. Troy's hiding something. Then that Rachel girl said his clothes were ruined and he was wearing her stuff. She's bigger then he is. This fit too nice for it to not be his." Mary Beth replied.

"I see. And it is odd for a boy his age to be that comfortable with two girls." She nodded. "Hell Wally hates being by girls right now and he's older then Troy." She cast a glance to her twin brother.

"See what I mean? Troy is hiding something, something juicy." Mary Beth smiled wide.

"Just remember, you go blabbing this around and he could get hurt." Her sister said. "You know that."

"Yeah, but you got to admit, with his hair getting longer, he does look like a girl."

Emily May nodded. "Yeah, he does."

More fun with our little heroine. Tune in next bat-time for a bit of farm life for Sage and Rachel.

This contains an attack and almost rape. Please be warned I have altered the rating to reflect that, sorry if it seems high, just being safe.

But fear not, our Brave Tracy may be fine.........

And I'd like to give a big thank you to Djkauf for the editing. Thank you very much.

December 3rd 1982
Northern California

Tracy sat on the couch in her parent’s house, Sage sat next to her. Vance and Rachel were sitting on the other side of the coffee table, their backs to the pot belly stove. The fire crackled inside the cast iron stove, giving heat to the room. Tracy had already put on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and thick socks. She wore a thicker nightgown. Rachel and Sage had yet to change for the night, neither had Vance. But Tracy had taken the time, just to get out of the sweat pants. Two extra sleeping bags were on a cot that sat next to the couch.

Cards were in five piles on the coffee table as the four kids played the card game of War. The game's speed was also being dictated by the sounds of the TV. Vance had begged for Dukes of Hazzard, which the other three girls given the okay for. They had stopped the board games for the night when Peter had been taken home. Tracy had hoped he'd stay, but she understood his problem and she didn't want for him to be embarrassed in front of the girls.

Maggie was in the kitchen, talking with Persephone and Rachel's mother. It made her feel good to hear their laughter fill the house. Vance had been getting better, but he and Tracy still had their arguments, but then what pair of siblings could say they never had problems.

“You cheating twerp.” Sage said as she watched Vance pick up another group of cards. The pile in front of him slowly growing.

“It's not cheating. It's a skill.” Vance replied with a smile. His gaze fell on Sage as he sat there, then a goofy grin began to spread across his lips. Sage watched and raised an eyebrow.

Rachel giggled and held a hand in front of his face, when he didn't react, she snapped her fingers, causing him to flinch. “Hey, Space Cadet, pay attention to the game.”

He didn't reply, he only turned a deep shade of red. The three girls began laughing, which caused Tracy to pull a pillow to her chest and hold it while the pain in her rib cage came back for an encore.

Their laughter was interrupted by the front door opening up. William came in and shut the door quickly to keep the cold air on the inside. “Still up?” He said, looking at his daughter.

“Yeah. I'm tired, but after two days in bed I don't wanna sleep yet.” Tracy replied.

“I can understand.” He moved over to the wood burning stove and opened it up. The girls watched as he moved the wood inside around with a poker, then he added another log. “After Viet Nam I was stuck in a bed for almost three weeks after they finished working on my knee.” The four children cringed, as did Maggie.

“Yuck.” Tracy replied.

“Hey, it happened. So how late are you planning to stay up?” He asked.

“As long as we can?” Vance replied. The three girls nodded as he spoke.

“Okay, no school tomorrow, but I'm not sure what their mothers would say, so let's call it quits at ten, that gives you an hour.” William said.

“It's okay by us.” Persephone stated from the kitchen. “We're not doing much tomorrow, other than the dinner with your mother.”

“Dinner with Grandma?” Tracy asked.

William smiled. “Well we decided that with a large group here and the mothers staying over there that one big meal at Mom and Dad's place would be best. Be like Christmas, just no turkey.”

“Awww. That means I'll be doing dishes alone.” Vance replied as he slumped his shoulders.

“Well Tracy can't help you, not with her restrictions.” William replied as he moved to his chair and sat down. “But tell you what, I'll give you a hand, maybe we can get them done faster.”

“Really?” Vance asked. William nodded and his son smiled. The young boy had hoped that Sage would have helped. He wasn't sure why, but there was something about her he liked. But any help was welcome. “Cool.”

As the show drew to a close, Rachel shook her head and pointed to the TV. “I have no idea why they got rid of Bo and Luke. These two new guys just aren't the same.”

“Yeah. John Schneider was just sooo cute.” Sage said with a contented sigh.

“Could have been money issues, contract obligations, or personal issues. There's lots of reasons that people give up on shows like that.” William replied as he got up to go to the TV.

“How do you know that?” Tracy asked.

“I worked with Dad at MGM in LA for a while. I never worked in TV, just movies, but some things are the same for either.” He stopped and looked at the kids. “Up for some Knight Rider?”

“Yeah!” Came the reply.

"Good, I didn't want to watch Dallas." William said with a grin.

“David Hasselhoff is cute too.” Rachel stated.

“I love the car.” Vance said.

“You say that about the General Lee.” Tracy replied.

“That's cool too.” Vance smiled at his sister.

“And the Bat-mobile from that old show.”

“It was cool too.”

“And the truck from the Fall Guy, Fonzie's bike and the bikes from ChiPs.” William continued.

“Well, they're all cool.” Vance began to blush from the embarrassment.

“I can't argue that.” William replied. “I always liked the car from the Munsters and Black Beauty from the Green Hornet.”

“Herbie's pretty cool too.” Tracy said. As the show started, all four kids fell silent, their card game now forgotten.

~o~O~o~

The sun shone brightly on Tracy as she looked around at what seemed to be a clear Autumn afternoon. She had no idea where she was. It was just a meadow somewhere. In the distance she could hear the sounds of birds chirping, cows mooing and ducks quacking. She walked through the meadow, heading for a path that led through the trees. A breeze moved through the branches, causing the leaves to rattle and fall. She loved the Autumn, the changing leaves were the best, but around her home, she only saw a few. So she took her time to see the bright yellows, oranges and red's floating past her on the breeze.

As she stood there, a cloud began to blot out the sun. The wind picked up and this time, instead of hearing leaves rustle, she swore she heard a voice.

“Fag.” It seemed to whisper. She stopped and looked around. The sunlight was quickly going away. A shiver ran up her spine. She looked in the direction that she had come from and saw nothing but darkness. She turned in the direction that she had been going in and there stood a figure a short distance ahead of her. Behind him was nothing but darkness. She couldn't make out who he was, but something about him scared her. The breeze called to her again. “Fag.”

Tracy was blocked. She wanted to run to the meadow, but it was in the darkness. And the man coming at her seemed to be bringing some darkness with him. She turned and began running into the woods to her side. She didn't get far when her foot caught a root to a gnarled old oak tree.

She panicked, trying to get to her feet. The figure was getting closer, just walking at a slow pace, but he was still catching her. “So gonna love this.” The figure said. As she got to her feet, she saw his face and her blood ran cold. Bruce had that same leering smile he had when he had seen her on the property the first time. Two more figures appeared at his side, Frankie and Kenny.

She had tried to run, but Bruce moved with inhuman speed. He grabbed her by the arm and threw her to the ground, instantly following her down and pinning her under his body. “You want this.” He hissed in her ear. “It's the only reason you dress like this, Fag.”

“Bruce no...” She pleaded, but he only laughed at her. She could hear the other two step up to her side and she watched as they shed their clothes. She tried to struggle, but the other two, now naked boys, pinned her arms down.

Bruce's calloused hands tore at her top, ripping it to shreds. She tired to cry out, but fear strangled her voice. Bruce kept ripping at her shirt as she lay there sobbing. One hand dipped below her waist and yanked up her skirt and with a fast pull, the cloth tore from her waist, cutting into her sides. He reached down and grabbed her panties, then tore them free from her body as well. “Gonna love this fag.” His voice growled in her ear. “We all are.” He stayed sitting on her back, but he sat up, then his shirt hit the ground near her. The pressure from her back went away and she thought it was over. But that thought was killed as she heard the sounds of a zipper being pulled down. She couldn't see him, but her imagination ran wild as his pants hit the ground.

“DON'T” She tried to scream out but it was muffled between the sobs. She felt his naked body lay on top of hers, one of his hands between her shoulder blades. He shoved her till her chest hit the ground. She could feel him moving behind her and she knew what was about to happen. She felt felt sick as his hands began to grope at her butt.

“Please Bruce, don't.” She begged again. He slapped her on the side of the cheek. Then he showed her the knife that he had pressed to her throat once before.

“Shut up Fag.” He growled. “Beg for it and I may let you live.”

“Please don't.” She sobbed out.

“Wrong answer.” The knife pressed into her throat once more, not enough to cut, but to let her know it was there. His other hand kept exploring her backside and crotch. “Now once more. Beg for it.” Her sobs got worse as he lay there. She didn't want to die. “Beg or I kill your Grandma and mother. Tell me I can do whatever I want to you or they die.”

She rested her head against the dirt, the knife still against her throat. She wanted to tell him no, but he had the upper hand. She didn't want her grandmother or mother being hurt because she resisted. Shame filled her as she forced herself to speak again. “Do whatever you want to me, just don't hurt my Grandma.”

“We'll see.” His voice said as he pulled the knife away from her. He shoved his weight down on her full and began to laugh. She could feel him above her, every last disgusting part of him. She could feel the warmth of his male parts resting just on her butt. She felt him preparing, taking his time to extend the mental anguish she was feeling. As he got her ready, he laughed in her ear. “Ready to be treated like a woman now?”

“Tracy?” She heard a girl’s voice in her ear and she felt herself being shaken. Yet, Bruce was still there. “Wake up.” The voice said again. “Damn it Tracy, wake up.”

~o~O~o~

As Bruce thrust forward, she screamed out as loud as she could. A hand touched her cheek as she woke up and began thrashing and swinging, kicking screaming and crying. Her mind was foggy as she woke up, but she saw Sage sitting on the edge of the bed, worry in her eyes. Without warning, Tracy lurched forward, whimpering from the pain, but she tried to hold onto Sage. She began to cry harder from the pain. Sage helped her back and lay with her, letting her friend curl into a ball, Tracy's head against her chest. Rachel was getting off the cot as they lay down.

“Lie down Tracy.” Sage said in a calm voice.

William burst out of his bedroom, wearing pajama bottoms and holding his shotgun. His free hand hit the lights, forcing all three girls to cover their eyes. He kept it pointed towards the ground as he scanned the room, looking for anyone attacking his daughter or her friends. “What's going on!” He looked over to the two girls who were now next to his daughter. Maggie stood just behind him

“She had a nightmare.” Sage said as Rachel got up on the bed with them

Vance rushed out of the kitchen, wearing a pair of boxers and holding a baseball bat over his shoulders, ready to swing. “Who was screaming? What's wrong?”

“Just a nightmare, son. Go on back to bed.” William said as he set the safety on his weapon and walked back into the bedroom, setting it just inside the doorway to his bedroom. The house had begun to get chilly, so he went over to the wood stove and opened it, tossing another piece of wood and some paper onto the slowly dwindling fire. Then he shut the door and went back to his room.

“It wasn't Sage was it?” Vance asked.

“Vance, it was Tracy, go back to bed, you shouldn't be running around like that with three young girls anyway.” Maggie said as she went to the pull-out bed. Vance gave a look to Sage and he blushed, then scampered back into the hall.

Rachel moved out of the way as Maggie sat down. “You okay kiddo?” She said as she sat there. She hadn't coddled either of her kids after a nightmare in a long time, but this one she had been expecting, She thought back to Tracy's cut clothing. Questions were begging to be asked, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to push the subject. She sat on the bed and leaned over till she was just behind her daughter.

“No.” Tracy replied.

“It was just a dream, it cant hurt you now.” Maggie said as she massaged Tracy's shoulder.

“It was so real.” Tracy shook as she recalled the last few moments of the dream

“I know baby. But if you talk about it we can try and work it out. Maybe it wont bug you as much.”

Tracy shook her head as she lay there, her head rested against Sage's chest. “I don't wanna talk about it.”

“Sweetie, this isn't the first night you've dreamed this, is it?” Maggie asked. Tracy just shook her head.

Sage moved her head so she could look at Tracy's face, which was buried against her chest. “You were dreaming about Bruce, weren't you?” Tracy was still for a few moments, so Sage continued. “You cried out a few times about him stopping.” Rachel sat on the end of the bed, just watching her friends and Maggie.

“She did?” Maggie asked, now looking to the other girl.

Sage nodded. “Yeah.”

“Baby, when Bruce found you that day, did he try to...” Maggie swallowed hard and she was forced to shut her eyes. She lay down all the way, resting against her daughter and putting an arm over her side. A cry almost choked her voice. “Bruce tried to rape you, didn't he?” Tracy remembered that afternoon and Bruce's comments about having a piece of her. The crying increased and her body was wracked by sobs.

“Yes.” She finally replied. “I’m so sorry Mama.”

Sage's eyes went wide at the reply. She looked to Maggie who looked like she had no idea what to do. Then her eyes rested on her friend. Rachel wasn't sure what she could do, other than to be there.

“Tracy, none of us are mad at you. You had no control over the situation.” Maggie said as her daughter slowly peeled away from Sage and rolled over to hug her mother, crying against Maggie's chest.

Inside the bedroom, William sat there on the edge of the bed, his temper rising as he eavesdropped on his wife and daughter. A thousand ideas of what to do to Bruce filled his mind, none of them were pretty. In the hall way, Vance listened, unsure what he could do.

“He didn't get far, did he?” Maggie asked. She wasn't a shrink, and she wasn't sure if she should be bugging her daughter, but the mother part of her wanted to help and talking it over seemed like the best bet.

“No.” Tracy replied.

The pieces fit into place as Maggie thought about it. “That Jerry kid, he stopped Bruce, didn't he?”

The sobs began to die down a little. “No, he tried. But when Bruce hit him that's when I ran.”

“Good girl.” Maggie replied.

She looked up at her mother. “But I had to kick him in the....” She blushed. “You know....there, just to get away.”

“I see.” Maggie couldn’t help but smile. “Very quick thinking.”

She lowered her gaze again and rested her head against her mothers chest once more. “It's my fault they attacked me.”

“No.” Maggie put a finger under her daughters chin and lifted it gently so they could see eye to eye. “It is not your fault. He tried to attack you. Anything you did was in self defense. He was on the property, and I sure as fuck didn't invite that little bastard. So none of this is your fault.”

“But I was outside in a skirt.” Tracy replied, shaking her head. “Maybe I should just stop being Tracy.”

“Kiddo, I only want you to stop being Tracy if it is what you want to do. But don't do it because of Bruce. Being Tracy is something only you can determine.” Maggie kissed her daughters forehead. “Tell you what. Try and get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning. You've had a rough week, no point in making decisions when you’re tired and worn out.”

Tracy was quiet for a few moments, enjoying the feel of her mothers arms around her. She finally nodded. “Okay Mama.”

“Good. Now get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning.” Maggie slowly untangled herself from her daughter. She kissed Tracy's cheek and whispered. “Sweet dreams. Remember, nothing will happen to you in this house, not as long as I'm alive.”

Those words filled Tracy with a bit of confidence. “Okay Mama.” She watched her mother stand up and head to her bedroom. Sage began to sit up and get off the bed. Tracy rolled over, ignoring the quick lance of pain, and grabbed at her hand. “No.” She whispered. “Please, stay.” She looked to Rachel. “Both of you, please?”

Rachel got up and went to Tracy's free side and sat on the bed. “Okay.” She said as Tracy lifted up the blanket to let her slide under it. Sage lifted her own side and slid under.

“Just remember, we're here for you too.” Sage said as she leaned forward and kissed Tracy on the cheek. “Boy or girl, we'll be here for you.”

“Thank you.” Tracy replied as she lay there, waiting for the darkness to come for her again.

“Everything okay, Son?” Conner asked. “I thought I heard crying in your house, haven't seen Tracy next door either.”

William was quiet for a few moments as Vance took his first swing. “No Dad, it's not.”

“What's wrong?” The older man asked.

“We learned something last night and it's tearing Tracy up.” William replied.

“What's that?”

William leaned the ax against the house and led his father away from the house. “Dad, the other day when she was attacked in your back yard it started behind the barn.” He pointed to the large structure that was on his property.

“Yeah, she said that. Then she ran, right?” Conner asked.

“It's more, Dad.” William led his father to the corner of the barn and he stopped, then they both watched Vance cutting wood. William let out a sigh and shook his head. “They attempted to rape her.”

A glimpse into Tracy the next morning, and how William takes care of his anger issues. Plus because it makes me laugh, more of Vance and Sage

A special thanks to DJKauf for the editing

December 4th 1982
Northern California

Tracy opened up her eyes and found herself still in Sage's arms. She kept her head against Sage's chest. As she lay there she could recall her bad dream. She could still hear Bruce and feel his body lying on her and she began to sniffle, with the tears fast approaching.

“It's okay, just let it out.” Sage said, but her eyes stayed shut. She pulled Tracy in a bit more. A part of Tracy began to think that they had this conversation earlier. Her hand moved along Tracy's back, in a back and forth motion, one that helped calm her friend down. “Don't let this bottle up, just let it all out.” As if on command her tears began to flow faster. The sobbing got louder as she recalled the dream and her attack. She had felt so useless, so weak.

Sage just stayed put, but she opened her eyes and began brushing the hair out of Tracy's face. She decided to try something her mother did whenever she cried. Her voice kept that soft tone of concern as she kept talking. “Picture your pain, grief, and all the shame you feel as the tears. Each moment of weakness is another tear. Each regret over the past few days is a tear. Let 'em all out. Get the pain out of your body. Wash the grief out, get rid of the shame. It's not your fault.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as she kissed Tracy's forehead and repeated her statement. “It's not your fault.”

~o~O~o~

William stood away from the house, ax in hand. He couldn't stand to hear his daughter's occasional sobs through the very thin windows of the house anymore. He had tried to comfort her, but he wasn't sure how to deal with it. So he had to deal with the frustration that he was feeling. He had gone outside to chop of some of the wood for the fire place. He had also pulled his son with him, to give the girls their space. The other girl was off helping his mother because Tracy was unable to.

He was watching Vance take a big swing into one of the logs as Tracy still sobbed in the house when his father walked up. Conner stopped by William as they watched Vance cut another log. The older man stayed quiet for a few moments, till Vance finished and grabbed another log.

“Everything okay, Son?” Conner asked. “I thought I heard crying in your house, haven't seen Tracy next door either.”

William was quiet for a few moments as Vance took his first swing. “No Dad, it's not.”

“What's wrong?” The older man asked.

“We learned something last night and it's tearing Tracy up.” William replied.

“What's that?”

William leaned the ax against the house and led his father away from the house. “Dad, the other day when she was attacked in your back yard it started behind the barn.” He pointed to the large structure that was on his property.

“Yeah, she said that. Then she ran, right?” Conner asked.

“It's more, Dad.” William led his father to the corner of the barn and he stopped, then they both watched Vance cutting wood. William let out a sigh and shook his head. “They attempted to rape her.”

Conner turned and faced his son, his blood began to boil. “They what?!?” He snarled.

“That Bruce kid, the one that hurt Mom? He tried to rape her.” William balled his hands up and grunted in frustration. “He was just going to scare her, but when they saw her in the skirt, he cut her shirt open and was going to share her with his friends.”

“That little bastard.” Conner took a step away from his son, trying to calm down, when that failed, his swung his fist into the old wood of the barn. No enough to hurt his hand, but strong enough to make a loud boom.

“I know Dad.” William balled up his fists again, but he never swung.

“What about that fourth asshole? Was he a part of it?”

“No Dad. He actually tried to stop it.” William said. “When Bruce hit him, Tracy made her break. I guess she kicked him in the nuts, that's why he attacked her.”

“I see.” He looked at Vance once again. “So is that why my granddaughter is crying right now?”

“She had a bad dream last night. It's been a bad night. She kept waking up and crying through the night and into the morning. Her friend Sage, the redhead, is in there with her.” William replied.

“I see. Think we should cancel dinner?” Conner asked.

“No. She wants to talk to Mom when she gets over there.” William started walking towards Vance. “She needs to talk to Mom, she needs something to cheer her up.”

“I understand.” They stopped near Vance as he finished with another log. “Hey, can I give that a try?” Conner asked.

“Sure, Grandpa.” Vance walked over and offered the handle of the ax to Conner, then he went over and leaned against the house.

Conner put a log on the chopping block and looked to his son. “They tried to rape her?”

“Yeah.” William answered.

“And they hurt my wife, daughter-in-law and granddaughter?” Conner didn't look this time, keeping his attention on the log, but William still answered.

“Yeah.”

“Those sons ah bitches!” Conner let his anger grow, then he focused it all on the log before him. He swung the ax through the air and hit the log in one fluid motion. The force of the impact split it on the first try. He looked at the wood, then to his son and Grandson. “How much of this wood do we need to cut today?” He reached for another log and set it on the chopping block.

“I was going to stop when I wasn't angry anymore.” William replied.

“I can understand.” Conner got into the starting position again and swung the ax once more, splitting the new log in one shot. “Vance, Set up a second, bigger stump on the other side of the pile. No point in doing this one at a time.”

William nodded as he saw what his father was doing. He picked up his ax and moved to the pile. “I so want to hurt that kid.” He said.

“What about Tracy? How is she feeling?”

“She's not doing good. She's thinking she should stop being Tracy, just because of that jackass.” William replied.

“Man...that's bad.” Conner said as he looked to his son, who only nodded. “She's just finding herself, the last thing she needs is to question if she is wrong for feeling like she feels. I don't totally understand all of this, but she's happy, isn't she?”

“I know, Dad.” William shrugged. “But I don't know what to do. This is Maggie and Mom's area of expertise, that and the girls. They could help her too.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy's tears stopped and she just lay there in Sage's arms. The two girls lay perfectly still, just the sounds of their breathing and the occasional chopping of wood from outside could be heard. “Feeling better now?” She asked in that same tone of voice.

“A little. Where did you ever think of that cry the pain out thing?” Tracy asked.

Sage smiled. Talking was good, as long as it didn't become crying again. “Mom. She reads a lot of books about all sorts of meta physical stuff. It's like willing the pain to leave your body.”

“Have you done it before?”

Sage gave a slight nod. “Yeah.”

“Really?” Tracy asked.

“Yep. Been a while though.” Sage knew the next question, so she just cut out the waiting for it. “Last time I did it was a couple of years back, one of the times I dressed up as Boy Sage. We went to the mall and we were seen by kids from school. They started to pick on me, by time I got home I was a wreck.”

“Oh. That sucks. Do they still pick on you?” Tracy asked.

“Not really, I moved to a new school system.” She replied.

“Oh.” Tracy looked up at her friend and raised one eyebrow. “Um, where is everyone?”

“Our moms are out getting food for dinner tonight. That chopping sound you hear is your Dad and brother chopping down the orchard and Rachel is off at your grandmother’s place, helping clean up.” Sage replied.

“What time is it?” Tracy asked.

Sage reached an arm back and grabbed a thin watch. “Almost ten.”

“You let me sleep this long?” Tracy began to sit up, but Sage pushed her back against the mattress.

“Yes, you needed it. You've been awake several times during the night.” Sage replied.

“Just once, when I had....you know.” Tracy lowered her head.

“No, that was the first time. You've been awake several times during the night. You were out of it, badly. I told your mother I could handle it.” Sage brushed some of Tracy's hair back.

“Thank you.” Tracy said.

Sage kissed her forehead once more. “Now, I was wondering if I could take a quick shower? Or do you need me here for a bit more?”

“I think I'm fine.” Tracy replied.

“Good.” Sage hugged Tracy once more and Tracy became aware of something that hadn't totally registered about her friends state of dress. “Each time I've tried to get up, either your brother has been in here and watching me, or you started to have a bad dream.”

“That's why your topless?” Tracy asked.

“Yes. Your pervert of a brother keeps coming in to sneak peeks of me. Your Dad finally locked the door to give us some peace and quiet.” Sage shook her head as she chuckled.

“Sounds like Vance.” Tracy replied with forced chuckle.

“Hey, your mother said she'll help change the dressings on your surgery site when she gets back. And to remind you no showers today, but we can do a sponge bath. Want to do that when I'm done?” Sage asked.

“Sure.” Tracy replied. “I may need help though. I can't even comb my hair or touch my feet without pain in the ribs”

“Wanna wait for your mother then? Or do you trust me?” Sage Brushed some more of her hair aside. “I just want you comfortable.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment. She didn't want Sage to see her male parts, even though Sage had them too. “Could I wait for my Mom?”

“No problem. I'll take a fast shower, then we should go for a walk, just to let your dad know it's safe in here.” Sage rolled over and stood up, showing her bare back and a bright red pair of panties to Tracy. She bent down and grabbed a bag that lay by the couch.

“Okay.” Tracy lay flat on her back. “I'll get up in a bit.”

“Good, see that you take it easy too.” Sage said, holding the bag to her chest, looking at the door as though Vance would come bursting through at any moment.

~o~O~o~

Half an hour later, Tracy and Sage slowly made their way around the house to where her Dad and brother were. Sage didn't hold her arm, she just walked a half a step behind, in case Tracy tripped. She was shocked to see her Grandfather there as well. The amount of chopped wood shocked her, too. They stopped for a moment as her father swung the ax, splitting a log half way down. He picked up the ax, the log still stuck on the end and he swung in down again, splitting the log on the second try. Vance was trying to do the same thing, with less than stellar results.

Conner was sitting on the end of a trailer that they had for their tractor. He caught the movement out of the corner of his eyes and he looked to see his granddaughter making her way to him. He gave her the best smile he could muster, then patted the bed of the trailer and stood up. “Here you go, young lady.”

“Thanks Grandpa.” Tracy said as she sat down.

Conner looked to the other girl. “You should have let your hair dry a bit more. Don't need you getting a cold from wet hair.”

“Nah, I go out with wet hair all the time at home. Heck it's colder there at times.” Sage smiled as she took a seat.

“Okay, just don't want you getting sick while you’re here.” Conner sat on the tire to the trailer and they watched Vance and William each grab a log. As Vance looked up, he saw Sage and his cheeks went red.

“Hi, Sage.” He said, wearing a goofy grin as he picked up his ax again. She just smiled and gave him a small wave.

“Ah, I see now.” Conner said.

“See what?” Tracy asked.

“Why your brother keeps staring at the house every few chops.” Conner said with a chuckle.

They watched as Vance lifted his ax in the air, with his attention more on Sage then on the wood. He brought it down, missing both the wood and the chopping block and sticking it in the soft ground.

“Maybe we should take a walk, so he's not distracted.” Conner said as the laughter began to get louder. "Like this, he may chop his feet off."

Tracy watched her father put his ax down and he began to laugh. “Boy, I think you're done for the day. At least with the cutting. Now for the stacking.”

“Maybe I should help Sage. You know, help her with Tracy.” Vance said with a grin, his eyes on the redhead.

“It's okay Vance, I'll walk with them.” Conner said. “Son, could I take some of this for my shed? I got a few projects I want to work on for the winter.”

“Sure. We'll stack some in the trailer for you.” William said as he went over and collected Vance's ax from the ground.

Tracy leaned over to Sage and smiled. “You got him so distracted.”

“I know.” She chuckled. “Kind of fun. Good thing it's not summer time and I'm not wearing a swim suit.”

“Oh, that could be fun.” Tracy smiled back.

“Girls, that's just mean.” Conner said, trying to keep a straight face, then a smile started to form. “Poor boy wouldn't know what to do. I'm willing to take pictures of him when you do it. Just to remind him later.” He stood up and offered Tracy his hand, which she took and slowly stood up. He looked to William. “I'll walk with them and I'll help when I get back here.”

“Okay, Dad.” William said as he and Vance began moving the cut wood to a part of the barn where they stored the wood.

~o~O~o~

The sun was still in the sky when Tracy had sat down on the porch swing on her grandmothers back porch. Sage and Rachel were on either side of her and the mothers, plus her grandmother sat with them, but at the table. Maggie had asked Tracy if she wanted to talk about the night before with the other women. At first she didn't, but some encouragement from Sage and Rachel helped her to see it would be for the best. So they had all gone over the whole events on the day of her attack, plus the nightmare she suffered through.

When they were done, Modine got up and moved to the swing. Rachel got up and let the older woman take her place. “Sweetie, so you are thinking about not being Tracy again?” Her grandmother asked.

“Yeah.” Tracy replied, her eyes on her lap.

Modine put a finger under her chin and gently moved her head till they were facing each other. “Tracy, I told you once, only you can make the decision to start or stop being Tracy. If you want to just walk away from Tracy, then you have to make that decision. You, no one else, just you.”

“I know. It just seems like a good idea right now.” Tracy replied. “Maybe I should just do it?”

“Or maybe you should make the decision on your own?” Modine offered with a raised eyebrow.

“What do you mean? I am making the decision.” Tracy looked at her grandmother, confusion on her face.

“Are you?” She asked. “Or is that boy, Bruce, making that choice. Him and the one that got away? To me it sounds like you're letting them make your choice through fear.”

“But what if they tell someone? What if Bruce get's out and comes back?” Tracy shook her head. “I just don't know what to do.”

“Let me ask you this. Does being Tracy make you happy?” Modine asked.

“Yeah, I guess.” Tracy replied.

“Then why stop?”

“Because Bruce knows?” Tracy answered.

“But he's in jail.” Modine replied. “For a very long time I think. So why worry about him?”

Tracy looked at the floor. “What about the other boy. Mr. Harper said that someone was spreading the rumor at school that I wear girls clothes.”

“So?” Modine asked. This caused Tracy to look at her like she was crazy. “Three years ago, someone spread the rumor that you wet your pants on a field trip, but you hadn’t. Think of this, Tracy. You can use this rumor to your advantage.”

“How?” She asked.

“First you'd need to talk to this Rivers' kid. Make sure he won’t tell no one and if he does, just play it off like Bruce told him to say that. Think of it this way. You managed to get one of the bad boys at the school arrested, possibly for a long time. You can say this is him trying to get back at you for stopping him from hurting me.” She smiled at her granddaughter.

“But isn't that lying?” Tracy asked.

“Yeah, but sometimes a lie is needed to protect people.” Modine smiled. “But that's not an excuse to lie to me all the time. Just this once, because it protects you from being attacked.”

“So I just tell people that I wasn't in a dress? That Bruce made it up?” Tracy asked.

“Yes, but only if you get teased about it.” Modine replied.

“Okay, so you’re saying I shouldn't stop being Tracy?” She asked.

“I'm saying that the decision of being Tracy is all on you. If you want to stop being Tracy, then stop. But remember that time around Halloween?”

“What about it?” Tracy asked.

“You stopped being Tracy for a week or two, were you happy? Did you feel whole?” Modine put an arm around her granddaughter.

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then shook her head. “No. I hated it. The more I'm Tracy, the more I hate being Troy.”

“Then why stop?” Modine asked.

“Because people could attack me?” Tracy replied.

“People can attack you for anything.” Rachel stated. “I got a cousin that was raped, just because the guy wanted to.”

“I know lots of people who were attacked for being themselves.” Persephone said. “Many of them are black. That's not something you can just change.”

“She's right.” Maggie cut in. “What's she's saying sweetie, is that there are assholes all over.” As her mother spoke and swore, Tracy's cheeks went red, she had never heard her mother swear so casually. “People who'd attack you for doing what you think, just because you're different.”

“I love my Grandson Troy and my Granddaughter Tracy equally.” Modine stated. “Please don't let other people push you into choosing how to live. You'll never be happy that way.”

Sage tapped her shoulder and nodded. “If I allowed others to rule my life, I'd be a boy by now and I'd hate myself. I live how I wanna live and fuck the world.”

“Sage! Language, young lady.” Persephone pointed at her daughter.

“Sorry, Mom.” Sage shrunk down in her seat.

“Don't make a hasty decision that you'll regret in the years to come.” Modine stood up. “Take a little while to explore yourself before you totally get rid of one side of yourself. You're still planning on going to Livermore in a week or two, right?”

Tracy nodded. “Yeah?”

“That will give you a week among girls to see if Tracy is what you want to be.” Modine moved back to her seat and Rachel got up and sat next to Tracy again.

“What if they find out about me?” She asked.

“They won't care.” Sage replied.

“How do you know?”

“They know about me and they could care less. Stacey and Casey are my cousins. They've known I'm different since we were all in diapers.”

Tracy looked skeptical, till she looked to Persephone who nodded. “They do. Heck, they were there when Sage was in boy mode a few times. None of them will care about it at all.”

“You sure?” Tracy didn't believe them. Not completely.

“Oh yeah, you'll fit in, trust me.” Sage gave a smile with her cryptic reply.

"Boy mode?" Modine asked. "You're like my Granddaughter?"

Sage blushed but looked up at her. "No ma'am. I'm different. I was born with both sets of parts. The doctors wanted to push for one sex or the other, but Mom told them no. She's let me live how I want to figure out who I am."

"And you've picked girl?" Modine guessed.

"I think so. I hadn't come up with a set in stone decision, but I haven't acted like a boy in more then a year or so."

"Interesting." The old woman nodded. "Could we talk more tomorrow?" She stood up and went to the door.

"Sure. I don't mind talking. I won't show you though, but I can talk about it." Sage replied.

"That's more then fair." Modine stated. “Come on ladies, there's apple pie inside with our names on it.” She looked to Tracy. “Come on sweetie, this is a decision that you can wait on. You need some happiness tonight....and pie.”

Ah yes, Apple pie makes everything better. unless it's bad apple pie.

He walked out of the office, headed for his class with another note in hand. He wasn't setting any record pace today. Most of the kids dodged around him, some not really noticing him, until he got near the fifth grade classes. Then she could hear the whispers start up.

“That's him....”

“I thought he was dead.....”

“I heard he killed four guys in that fight....”

“I heard his thing was cut off....”

“....yeah, he took on Bruce, Frankie and Kenny after they cut him open.....”

“.....fought ten guys and won....yeah him.....”

“...oh?....Well he got shot, that's why he's walking slow....that's what I heard....”

Tracy did her best not to burst into laughter. He moved on down a hall, headed for his class. A familiar figure fell in step next to him. “Hey Peter.”

And now for that first few days where she comes back to school

And once again, big thanks to DjKauf for the editing

December 6th 1982
Palermo School

After a week and a half of being Tracy, it had been hard for her to become Troy once more, but Troy had to be the one who went to school. So she had dressed in the loosest pants she could, mostly because of the surgery. Her mother had went with her to the office, just to leave a note with all of the doctor's information on it. After that she left, leaving Troy in the school all alone.

He walked out of the office, headed for his class with another note in hand. He wasn't setting any record pace today. Most of the kids dodged around him, some not really noticing him, until he got near the fifth grade classes. Then she could hear the whispers start up.

“That's him....”

“I thought he was dead.....”

“I heard he killed four guys in that fight....”

“I heard his thing was cut off....”

“....yeah, he took on Bruce, Frankie and Kenny after they cut him open.....”

“.....fought ten guys and won....yeah him.....”

“...oh?....Well he got shot, that's why he's walking slow....that's what I heard....”

Tracy did her best not to burst into laughter. He moved on down a hall, headed for his class. A familiar figure fell in step next to him. “Hey Peter.”

“Hey. You doing better today?” The bigger kid asked.

“I'm still sore, but moving faster today.” Tracy replied. Then he heard it.

“I heard he was in a dress.” Tracy had been working with his parents on masking his facial reactions and she was hoping she got it right. Before she could worry a new figure stepped up on his left side. He looked at the crowd and chuckled.

“Please, I was in the hospital with my Mom and Grandma when he was brought in.” Mary Beth replied to the speaker as she walked up. “He was wearing jeans and a torn shirt and they were bloody.”

Tracy looked at her and she just smiled. “Thanks.” He whispered.

“No problem.” Mary Beth said as they stopped at a classroom.

“Well, I should get going.” Peter said. “I'll meet you for recess.”

“I can't play, so I'll be working on schoolwork or something.” Tracy slumped his shoulders.

“That's cool.” Peter said before he walked off.

Tracy walked into the classroom. Mary Beth headed to a seat and Tracy just stood there waiting while the teacher was busy writing on the chalkboard. The older man turned around and smiled. “Ah. Mr. Patterson. I see you're back. Feeling better?”

Tracy handed him the note of Doctor restrictions and shrugged. “Not really, Mr. McCoy, But I'll manage.” She often wondered about her teacher. There were two Mr. McCoy's at the school. They were twins and there had been times where she wondered if she had the wrong Mr. McCoy teaching her class.

The older man read the note and nodded. “I see. So no recess and no excessive walking till Friday? I think we can manage that.” He handed the note back to Tracy. “Do you need to hold on to this, I'd rather not keep it in here, the drawers don't lock.”

“I'll take it.” Tracy replied. "They got one in the office too."

“So can you talk about what happened? Or is it still being investigated?” He asked.

“I can talk about it, but I don't want to. And I don't want to talk about this.” She held up the note. She tried to talk as little about the event, as she had started to call it, as she could. It was still robbing her of sleep each night.

“I can understand that. Well remember, if you want to talk, just come see me.” The older man smiled. “Now for the hard part. Did you manage to get the homework done?”

“Yes sir.” Tracy reached into her backpack and pulled out several sheets of paper. “That was the best part to being stuck in a bed for a couple of days. Lots of time to kill.”

“Been there myself. Being stuck in a hospital bed is never fun.” He quickly flipped through the papers, then set them down. “Now for the good question. I handed your brother a permission slip for the field trip to the dam on friday. Are you going and do you have it?”

“Yes sir.” She pulled the paper out and handed that to him as well. “Although I'm not sure how well I'll with stairs, if there are any. And they say I should walk, just not too much.”

“Still sore I take it?” He asked.

“Yes.” Tracy nodded.

“We can play it by ear. The trip isn't till Friday, so that gives you a week to get better.” He opened his desk and put the permission slip into a folder. Then he looked up at her again. “It's good to see you back young man.”

“Thank you sir.” Tracy didn't show any displeasure to being called a boy, but he was hating it, even though she had yet to make a firm decision on Tracy's true fate. He turned and went to her usual desk and for once she was glad he had taken one near the teacher’s desk. Not only was it near the board, but it was by the door. That way he had less walking at lunch time.

Mr. McCoy watched him take his seat and he began to think of what could have happened, then he added in the rumors and he got a sinking suspicion of how much pain she was really in.

As the students trickled in, she heard more of the whispers. She couldn't help but smile at the shocked expressions on people’s faces when they saw her sitting there and not dead at all. ~School will be fun~ She thought to herself as the late bell rang.

~o~O~o~

The day progressed along slower than normal. At the first recess, Peter came into the room and hung out with him, instead of going to the playground. Instead of sitting though, Tracy made several laps of the classroom, still moving slowly.

“At least you're moving.” Peter said with a nod.

“Yeah, but that hard wood seat is killing me. I can't wait to get home and onto the couch.” Tracy replied.

“Sit on your coat.” Mary Beth said from the doorway. She walked in and went to her seat. “If it hurts to sit, then sit on your coat, that gives you some padding.”

Tracy stopped and thought about it for a moment, then he grinned. “Yeah. I'll do that. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” Mary Beth watched him walk again. “So what happened? Where were you hurt?”

“Mary Beth, I still don't want to talk about it.”

“Aw, I won't tell no one. I just wanna know.” She whined.

“And I don't wanna talk about it.” Tracy stated. “Would you want to talk about personal things that get done to you at the doctor?”

Her face went a bit red and she lowered her gaze to the floor. “Not really. Not with a boy at least.”

“Then there we are.” Tracy replied, having missed the end of her statement. Outside the classroom a bell rang and Peter stood up.

“I'll meet you for lunch. You brought lunch, right?” He said.

“Yeah, I brought a sandwich.” Tracy pointed to her bag. “I figured that I'd cheat until I felt like walking up there in a crowd of people.”

“Wanna eat here?” He asked.

Tracy shook her head. “Nah. Let's go to the benches near the library. It's not too far to walk.”

“Okay. I'll meet you here then.” Peter said as he headed for the door.

~o~O~o~

Tracy was in her own little world as she slowly made her way to the bench that she was to meet Peter at. So she didn't notice the other kid who was headed in the other direction. He was also deep in thought. Due to her slow speed, Tracy stumbled a few steps backwards, her legs struggling to make sure she didn't fall. The other kid mirrored her movements. When they stopped trying to right themselves, she looked up and saw him

Jerry Rivers just stared at her and his brain locked up for a moment. Tracy's brain kicked into gear and he looked to the ground. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

“Yeah.” Jerry averted his gaze as well. “Me too.”

Memories of Bruce danced through his mind. The questions raced through her mind, things that he had been going over during the weekend. There were things he needed to know and other things that he was curious about. But he was at the school, so either the county hadn't arrested him, or they let him go. “I...um...what I mean is...” There was also fear in her face, something he could see.

Jerry sighed. “You don't have to worry about me.”

“W-what? Why?” She asked.

“Because as soon as my Dad gets back from his business trip, I'm being sent to a military school.” Jerry replied.

“Why?” He asked again.

“You fucking kidding me?” He glared at her. “Because of last week. He said if I screw up once more I was going there. You telling the cops was once more.” Jerry's fists balled up, then he shook his head and held in a breath for a five count, then he released it.

“I'm sorry. They needed all the information.” He lied. He didn't know why he lied, but it seemed right at the time. “I was on so many pain pills I have no idea who all talked to me.” Then he wondered, but he wasn't sure why. “When will he be back?”

“Friday. He's in Maine. Look, I better get going, before the teachers think I'm going to attack you again.” He turned and headed away from her before she could ask him more questions.

~o~O~o~

Tracy sat on the couch as she did her homework. Usually their parents forced them to do homework at the table, but she had begged to not be stuck on a hard wooden seat anymore that day, so her father let her use the couch, as long as she faced away from the TV. As she worked on her Math homework, she looked up at her father and waited for a commercial break. “Dad?”

“Yes Sweetie?” He replied, not pulling his attention from the Monday Night Football game on TV.

“Dad, is it normal to think you did the wrong thing when you think it was the right thing?” She asked.

“What? What do you mean?” He turned his attention from the beer ad that was playing.

“I was thinking about that kid, the Jerry kid?” Tracy shut the book and sat upright.

“What about him?” William leaned forward. “You think you made a mistake?”

“Maybe?” She sighed. “I kinda ran into him at lunch today and he said I didn't have to worry about him because his dad was sending him to a military school.”

“Well he was with Bruce, they were going to attack you.” William replied. “He may not get jail time, but maybe this will help him pick out better friends in the future.”

“Dad, he tried to stop them.” Tracy stated. “The more I think about it, he got worried when Bruce started....” Her eyes fell to her lap and she went silent. He knew what she was talking about.

“True, but maybe that was remorse over his actions?”

“I guess.” She said, her shoulders slumping.

He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. “Okay, we'll play this your way. What do you want to do?”

“Can we maybe talk to his dad and tell him what happened? Mr. Harper said he was new, maybe he just needs better friends?” He could see that look in her eye as she looked up at him. The look that said she wanted to try this. “Maybe we could talk to Mr. Harper to see if he could arrange a meeting with his dad and us?”

William nodded as the game started up again. “Okay. You tell me what day and we'll do this.” He wanted to say he hoped she wasn't screwing up. He had heard her each night since she had come home. Each night she woke up screaming and crying.

She didn't cry this time, instead she smiled at him. “Thank you Daddy. He'll be there to Transfer Jerry on Friday”

“Okay, we'll see what we can do, but no promises.” William replied as she picked up her book again.

~o~O~o~

December 7th

Tracy went outside for lunch again, like the past two days. School was still progressing like it always did, slowly. She had been thinking of what her grandmother had said about Bruce choosing if she would remain Tracy. She had decided to wait till after the Christmas break to come up with a decision on her other self.

Peter walked through the crowd of kids and sat next to her. “Hey. How you doing?” He asked.

“I hurt and I don't want to be here, but this is better then Daytime TV.” Tracy replied.

“What about class? How is that going?”

Tracy chuckled. “I keep hearing the whispers from people trying to figure out what happened to me. And God knows Mary Beth wants the juicy information.” She chuckled some more. “I keep seeing them stare at me when they think I'm not watching and when I got up to use the restroom, I heard more gasps at how slow I was moving.”

“Sounds fun. Wish I was in your class.” Peter said.

As they sat there, a couple of more kids walked by and the whispers started again.

“….I saw him walk slowly. He had to have been stabbed in the crotch.”

“I heard they cut it off.....”

“I heard he was wearing a dress!” Someone shouted. A second later Clark Millett stood in front of them. “Isn't that right faggot.”

Tracy had been practicing with her Grandmother and father for a couple of days now, even Peter had been clued in. So neither of them got a shocked look on their face, although it was close for Tracy. Instead he just blinked and shook his head as Clark stood there.

“What are you talking about?” Tracy asked, trying to sound annoyed.

“I heard you were in a dress, dancing around the yard like the fag you are.” Clark sneered at her. The kids around her began to laugh.

“Let me guess, your brother told you that?” She asked.

A couple of other big kids came up to Clark's side and they just glared at Tracy. She knew them as Clark's cousins. “Look, it's the little dress wearing fag.” One of them called out.

Tracy looked at the blue jeans and A-Team t-shirt she had on, then she looked to Peter. “This looks like a dress?”

“I guess.” He shrugged. “But he's got the same thing on.”

“Face it fag, we all know you wear dresses.” Clark took another step closer and smacked her sandwich out of her hand. His cousins stood next to her and towered over both of them.

Peter saw red for a split second as he stood up. “Apologize now.” He said in a quiet voice as he put himself between Tracy and Clark's little group.

“Make us, retard.” Clark replied.

“I'd like to see him try.” One of the bigger boys said.

The other one laughed. “Must be protecting his girlfriend.”

Peter's hands flashed out and grabbed Clark with one hand, then twisted his hand in the kids shirt, his other hand grabbed onto the bigger of the cousins. With a grunt, Peter lifted both of them off of the ground. Not far, but enough to make sure their feet cleared the ground. Clark's eyes went wide with fear as he realized that Peter held them both. “You sure you want to say that? Cause if you do, I'll let him kick your ass like he did your brother. I'm not the one you have to worry about.”

“So you're gonna protect the dress wearing fag?” Clark said with a nervous squeak to his voice..

“Who says he was in a dress?” Peter asked. “You? Were you there that day, because I was and all I saw was him kicking your brothers and his friend’s asses.” Some of the kids who were closer began to listen as Peter talked.

“I heard he was wearing one.” Clark stated. “Bruce told me.”

Peter released his grip and both boys hit the ground, then staggered back. Tracy leaned around. “So, your brother, who attacked my Grandmother and me said I was in a dress?”

“He knows what he saw.” Clark said as he stood up.

“Right. He knows he saw a kid three years younger then him and his friends kick all of their asses.” Tracy stood up. Her voice increased in volume. “So he decided to spread a rumor that I was in a dress to make me look bad.” She looked at the students who were watching her now. “Yep, that worked. And let me guess, you'll now claim you were there too.”

“Fuck you faggot. I believe him before I'll believe you.” Clark spat out.

“So you'll believe a liar and a thief and a criminal over me?” Tracy replied.

“Look you little Faggot, I know you were in a dress. Bruce knows it too.” Clark glared at her. “I tell the whole school if I have to.”

“So you've been spreading that stupid lie?” Tracy asked. She didn't expect Clark to fall for the bait and her jaw almost dropped when he answered.

“Of course I told everyone the TRUTH.” He stressed the last word. “And I'll tell the rest of the school, till someone kicks your fagot ass.”

“No, Mr. Millett, I don't think you will.” A new voice said. All five of the kids turned to see Mr. Harper walking over to the group. “Mr. Lowery, Mr. Patterson, I do think you two should get to your classes. Mr. Millet, you and your friends can come with me and we can discuss what's going to happen for spreading slanderous rumors in school.”

Clark stared at him for a moment, then he glared at Tracy. “This ain't over, fag.”

“MR. MILLETT! MY OFFICE NOW!” Mr. Harper bellowed.

Clark turned and walked off towards the office, with his cousins and Mr. Harper in tow. Peter looked to Tracy and shook his head. “A dress?” He said with a huge grin on his face. He spoke loud enough to catch the ear of everyone near them. “That's the best lie Bruce can come up with? First he couldn't kick your ass, with help and without cheating. Now he has to try and spread that stupid lie? May as well say you're an alien.”

“Well, he does have a small brain.” Tracy reached over and grabbed his lunch, then stood up slowly, looking like he was thinking. “Oh My God.” What if...what if he said I was in a dress because he thinks I'm cute? Ugh...and Clark wants to see me in a dress too....they're both gay?” A look of disgust crossed his face. “Ugh. I'm gonna be sick now.”

The two friends walked off, leaving the other kids in their class to try and determine the truth.

Please note: The mixing of pronouns is intentional. Poor kid is still on the fence over who she is.

I had a bunch of fun trying to think like a kid and thinking of hte different stories that would crop up after someone is attacked. Next up, part two of the week of school... or is it

Both men looked to Mary Beth and she seemed to shrink down a little. “I was going back towards my class after lunch. I had seen Clark and his cousins try and pick a fight with Troy, then I watched Peter and Troy yell at each other. I don't know about what, but Peter was mad that Troy was pushing himself.” She didn't mention that she heard what name he called Troy. That was just one more question that Mary Beth had for Troy. “I was gonna walk with Troy to the class, but Bobby Anderson tripped him and kept walking.”

“Looks like Mr. Anderson and I need to have a talk about personal space.” Mr. Harper replied.

The door to the nurses office opened up and she looked at the two men, her face losing color fast, then her gaze fell on the secretary. “Call an ambulance, now.”

The secretary grabbed her phone and began dialing. Mr. Harper walked over and lowered his voice. “Is it bad?”

“He's pulled out all the stitches. I've got him holding his legs together and holding gauze at the incision site, but he's still bleeding and I can't do anything for him here.”

“Crap.” Mr. Harper turned and went around the desk. “I'll try his father as well.” He turned his attention to the teacher and Mary Beth. “You should get to class young lady, I'll talk to you later.”

“Okay, sir.” She looked into the nurse’s office and couldn't see the bed Troy was on, due to the dividing curtain. A part of her really wanted to know what was going on with Troy.

This poor kid will learn at some point.......maybe
A special thanks to Djkauf for the editing again

December 7th 1982
Palermo School

Tracy stood with Peter for a moment, watching Clark go to the office. She shrugged and sighed. “What the hell did I do to that family?” She wasn't sure why both brothers hated her, they just did.

“Who knows. Maybe they just hate you?” Peter replied as they began to walk back to their classrooms.

“That's comforting.” She gave a slight chuckle, followed by a grunt.

“You okay?” Peter asked.

Tracy looked at him for a moment, then back at the ground as they walked. She didn't want to talk about it, but he was a friend. “Just sore. Yesterday I ran into Jerry Rivers and almost fell. I had to step quickly to avoid hitting the ground. I hurt a bit more then usual this morning.”

“Maybe you should take it easy.” Peter stated as he looked to her. “I mean you were with Sage and Rachel all weekend. You didn't lie down much, even when your mother tried to remind you.”

“Yeah.” She didn't want to talk about it, mostly because he was right. She had done her best on Saturday to be with Sage and Rachel as much as she could.

“Plus you've been walking at every recess, and after school yesterday.” As he continued her temper began to flare. She had thought that he'd understand not wanted to be cooped up. It was as though he wanted her locked away and bored. “The doctor said you'd have to take it easy or you'll end up back there.”

“PETER!” She stopped walking and just glowered at him. “I know what she said.” She thought how He was beginning to sound like her mother and father. She was tired of being in a bed and doing nothing.

Peter stopped and looked at her. He cared for her. He cared for Troy as well, but the more he was around her, the less he could see Troy. And good girls like Tracy needed to be protected. “Damn it Tracy, then do what they said.” He hissed at her.

No one seemed to notice his use of the wrong name. Many of them had ignored the two friends. But his use of the name at that school pissed her off. “I don't need a babysitter!” She snapped at him.

He wasn't sure what to do. She was throwing away her health. He knew she needed to take it easy and the last thing he wanted was for her to be in the hospital again. It had torn his heart out to see her there the first time. But he could tell by her attitude that she wouldn't listen. He had seen that defiant look in Vance before.

He didn't care that people were watching. He hated to be yelled at. But a part of him still saw Tracy, so he couldn't strike her, nor would he scream back. “I am just trying to help.”

“I don't need your help.” She growled, then she turned and walked off faster then she should have been moving.

She was still grumbling to herself as she got near her class. She was pissed at Peter for wanting to baby her. She wanted to hang out with him, with her friends, but clearly he didn't get that. Rachel and Sage offered her something he couldn't. The chance to be like a real girl and she didn't want to waste that. He was as bad as her parents. They hadn't wanted her to do more then just sit in bed, too. Everyone was treating her like a baby and it was getting old.

She was so into her thoughts that she didn't notice the foot that got into her way. All she knew was that her right leg snagged on something and she took several stumbling steps forward. Pain erupted in her groin as she attempted to catch her footing, but she couldn't. The pain forced her to scream out and then she fell forward. Throwing her hands out in front of her to stop the fall.

Tracy hit hard, skinning her palms and knees and screaming out again as new pain flared to life in her sprained wrist and ribcage. Her chest met the ground and she grunted and lay there for a second as people began to laugh at her. She went to get up, moving even slower now and it was a struggle, so she dropped back to the ground and lay there. She barely noticed the person dropping to their knees at her side.

“Troy?!? You okay?” Mary Beth said as she knelt there A look of worry was on her face. She turned to face one of the boys who was walking in the other direction. “BOBBY ANDERSON, YOU JERK!” She screamed.

Mr. McCoy came out of his class and did a quick look around for the source of the yelling. When he saw the figure on the ground he rushed over. “Patterson, shit.” He muttered. “What happened?”

“He was just tripped. And he fell hard.” Mary Beth said as she touched Troy's shoulder.

“It's going to be okay.” He said to the child on the ground. Tracy lay there, trying her best not to cry and failing miserably. “Miss. Higgins, go tell the nurse I'm bringing Troy up there, now.”

“Why? What's wrong?” Mary Beth asked.

“GO Now!” He glared at her for a moment, till she got up and ran to the office. “The rest of you GET TO CLASS! NOW”

“Troy?” He snapped his fingers and a pair of tear stained eyes stared at him. “Where does it hurt?”

“D-d-down there.” She sobbed out, and pointed with a finger to her crotch.

“Can you walk?” He asked in a calm tone.

“I don't know.” She tried to roll over and planted her hands. Then she started to stand up, using the Teacher to help. Her face contorted in pain as she stood all the way up. Sweat was beading off her forehead and the blood was rushing from her face. She waited a second, then took a step and froze in place. “No....it hurts.” The crying started to intensify.

Behind him another person came running up, the Librarian, Kelly Kline. “Rodney? What's wrong?”

“Kelly, I got to take Mr. Patterson to the nurses office, can you watch my class for a moment?”

“Yeah, I got it covered.”

“Troy, I'm going to carry you, is that okay?” He watched as the child gave a slight nod. Rodney put an arm behind Troy's back. He slid the other arm behind Troy’s butt, then he stooped on his legs and lifted the child with a grunt.

Peter had gone to the bathroom after his fight with Tracy and was stepping out as Mr. McCoy walked past him with Troy rested in his arms. Peter could hear his friend crying as the teacher headed to the office. “What happened?” He asked, worry in his voice.

“Not now, Mr. Lowery.” Mr. McCoy looked over and his hard gaze softened. He knew the two were close friends. He had heard the rumors that he had been there when Troy had been attacked and that he had spent several of the past few days helping his friend. “Peter, you need to get to class. The nurse will take good care of him, okay?”

The guilt had begun to well up in Peter. He hadn't been there when Tracy needed him and now somehow, she was hurt again. All because he had deiced to baby her. “I...” He reached out to touch Tracy. “Are you sure?” He asked in a quiet voice.

“Yes.” Rodney replied. “Go to class and before the bell rings.”

Every part of Peter screamed to stay by her side, but the teacher had spoken. He didn't need to be in trouble for going against a teacher And maybe Tracy was still pissed at him. So he took a few steps, then stopped and turned around to watch Mr. McCoy walk away with his friend.

Mr. McCoy approached the door as Mr. Harper and the school Nurse, Mrs. Thomas were on their way out. The Principal swung a door open and let the man pass through. “How bad is it?” Behind them a very worried Mary Beth stood at the door to the main offices.

“He said his crotch hurt.” Mr. McCoy said as he took Troy to the open door of the nurses office. “He couldn't walk at all. Took one step and he was in pain.”

“I'll call his parents.” Mr. Harper stated as he jogged off to the main office.

As Rodney sat Troy on one of the two beds in the nurses office, Mary Beth came in a watched from the door. “Is he gonna be okay?” She asked.

“I'll check him out, sweetie.” The older school nurse replied.

As Mr. McCoy pulled his arms out from under Troy, Mary Beth gasped and pointed. “Is that blood?” Her voice quavered with fear. “Is he bleeding?”

Mr. McCoy looked to his arm and then at the nurse. “Clean your arm.” The nurse pointed to a sink. “Then step out, I need to check our young patient.”

Rodney complied and as he was drying off his arm, he gestured to Mary Beth to leave the room. They stopped by secretary's desk as Mr. Harper put the phone down and shook his head. “Mother's on her way now.” He said with a sigh. “Mind telling me what happened?”

“Maybe we should speak in your office?” Mr. McCoy replied.

“Can't , I have Clark Millet in the office right now.” The Principal said with a shake of his head. “So just the cliff notes, what happened?”

Both men looked to Mary Beth and she seemed to shrink down a little. “I was going back towards my class after lunch. I had seen Clark and his cousins try and pick a fight with Troy, then I watched Peter and Troy yell at each other. I don't know about what, but Peter was mad that Troy was pushing himself.” She didn't mention that she heard what name he called Troy. That was just one more question that Mary Beth had for Troy. “I was gonna walk with Troy to the class, but Bobby Anderson tripped him and kept walking.”

“Looks like Mr. Anderson and I need to have a talk about personal space.” Mr. Harper replied.

The door to the nurses office opened up and she looked at the two men, her face losing color fast, then her gaze fell on the secretary. “Call an ambulance, now.”

The secretary grabbed her phone and began dialing. Mr. Harper walked over and lowered his voice. “Is it bad?”

“He's pulled out all the stitches. I've got him holding his legs together and holding gauze at the incision site, but he's still bleeding and I can't do anything for him here.”

“Crap.” Mr. Harper turned and went around the desk. “I'll try his father as well.” He turned his attention to the teacher and Mary Beth. “You should get to class young lady, I'll talk to you later.”

“Okay, sir.” She looked into the nurse’s office and couldn't see the bed Troy was on, due to the dividing curtain. A part of her really wanted to know what was going on with Troy. She had never really hung around him before, or talked to him. But something about him seemed safe. Like she could really get to know him like a friend.

~o~O~o~

Maggie came running into the school's office, almost flinging the door off it's hinges. Her breathing was in quick breaths as she looked at the Principal. “Where is he?”

Mr. Harper was already moving around the desk and pointed to the nurses office. “In there. Maggie....”

She didn't stop to talk, just just bolted inside. “Baby, are you okay?” She stopped at the bedside and she reached for her child’s free hand.

“Mrs. Patterson?” A voice spoke up from behind her.

“Evelyn, right?” Maggie asked as she looked to see the nurse.

“Yes.” She replied.

“What happened?” Maggie turned her attention back to her child that lay still on the bed, crying.

“He was tripped, tore the stitches out. We have an ambulance on the way right now. We've got a hold of your husband and he'll meet you at the hospital.” The nurse said as she held out a thermometer. Tracy opened her mouth as it was placed under her tongue and the nurse looked at a watch.

“He was tripped!” Maggie glared at her. “What type of school is this! This shouldn’t have happened! Not to someone who just had done what he did!”

“Margaret.” Mr. Harper said as he entered the room and shut the door. This got her attention. No one called her by her full name. “We have a school full of kids here. It's hard to watch all seven hundred kids all the time.”

“He just had an Orchiectomy done! This could have hurt or killed him!”

“Maggie, please, I know this. The student who did this will be spoken to with his parents later. If you want I can arrange for you or your husband to be here.”

“Thank you. I'd like to give that little punk a piece of my mind.” She turned her attention back to her child.

“Well Troy isn't innocent either. There was redness around the incision site and a bit of an infection starting. He's admitted to pushing himself a bit more over the weekend to hang out with friends.”

She groaned. “Troy. You promised you'd take it easy.” He didn't reply. He couldn't. But as the thermometer was removed, he turned his head to face the pillow.

There was a knock at the door and it opened an inch. “Sir?” The secretary said. “The ambulance is here.”

~o~O~o~

December 8th 1982

Tracy lay in the hospital bed once more, staring at the ceiling and wondering why they couldn't put posters or something up there. Anything had to be better then just plain white tile. She winced in pain as she felt a finger move across her wound. She had been there overnight again. They had managed to get her in right away to fix the broken stitches problem, then they made her lie still for a day to help with the healing.

“Mind telling me how you ended up here again?” Doctor Angela Davis asked.

“I was tripped. I tried to not fall, but I did and it hurt.” She replied.

“And where were you tripped?” The Doctor continued her exam of her patient.

“School.” She replied.

“Did you take it easy the past few days? I did say light activity for the first week, that's today. The redness around the wound shows me that you've been moving more then you should.” The Doctor pulled the sheet back over Tracy and gave her the best Doctor glare she could.

“No.” Tracy shook her head. “I was going to, but my friends were up and I just wanted to hang out with them.”

“I should have known they would make you push yourself.” Maggie stated.

“Mom, they tried to keep me in bed. But I wanted to hang out with them, before they had to go home. It's not their fault.” Tracy shut her eyes so she wouldn't see the glares from both women.

“So you just decided to ignore my advice and push the pain back.” The doctor sighed.

“Sorry.” Tracy whispered.

“Don't tell me sorry. I'm not the one in pain.” She shot back. “I'm just the Doctor. But this time when you go home, I'm putting you on bed-rest for a week, maybe two.”

“Two weeks?” Tracy thought about it, then her eyes shot open and she looked at the Doctor. “I...I can't”

“Why can't you?” The doctor asked. “Is there something more pressing then your health that will happen in the next two weeks?”

“I'm supposed to go see my friends after school on Friday next week.” Tracy lay her head back. She wanted to hang out with Sage and Rachel more then anything. The chance to be one of the girls was riding on her being in the Bay area.

“Your mother told me about it. But if these are the same girls who let you push yourself, should we let you go and try it again?” The doctor leaned against the bed and took her hand. “Look, I hate being the bad guy, but you keep pushing yourself and we'll have a major problem. There can be infections, pain that wont go away for the rest of your life and problems with going to the bathroom.” this got the child’s attention.

“Tracy lay there, thinking about what she had said. “So I have to lie in bed for two weeks?”

“Well with the damage to your ribs giving you trouble in walking and stairs and now your wrist is sprained again I say yes. But I'd like to see you next week and we can make an evaluation there.” The Doctor stood up straight as her young patient groaned. “I know you had plans and no one wants to spend Christmas vacation in bed, but this is for the best. We'll see on next Wednesday, but for now, no leaving your bed except for the bathroom, to get something to eat or drink and two walks, but till you feel sore, nothing more. So no hour long walks. And we're still on clear liquids.”

“Okay.” Tracy's voice had that defeated tone. She dreaded calling Rachel and Sage. All her plans to go have fun were now dashed. Two weeks in her bed, no TV, no fun at all.

“We'll keep you over night tonight, then you go home tomorrow, if I give the okay. Once there it's to bed for you. Understand me?”

“Yes.” Tracy replied in that same defeated tone.

“Good. Now I'll leave you be. Let the nurse know if you start to hurt again, okay? And we'll skip the walks for today, but let them know with the call button when you need to use the bathroom.” the doctor pulled up the rails on the side of the bed and then clicked them into place. “No climbing down on your own.”

~o~O~o~

Daytime TV sucked. But the news was worse for an eleven year old. Tracy knew that already, but now she had to live it all over again. She knew that it was almost six in the evening, both with the clock on the wall and the fact that the sky was dark. Not that it had been a sunny day. Clouds had covered the sky for most of the morning and afternoon, with drizzle off and on the whole day.

She only had a couple of books to keep her entertained, not including her school books. But she didn't see the fun in relaxing with math. Her parents had gone home for the evening, mostly because she got tired of them telling her that she should have taken it easy. So she lay there all alone. It was late and Peter hadn't stopped by, so the fear that she had run him off for good was there as well, even though she was still angry with him for how he treated her.

She lay back in her bed and had just begun to wonder why her life sucked for the hundredth time that day when there was a knock at the doorway. “Can I come in?” A timid voice called out.

She sat up enough to see over the bed railings and saw Mary Beth. She knew there would be another round of twenty questions, but she was aching for human contact that wasn't a nurse. “Sure.” She said as she lay back down.

“I was so worried about you when I saw that blood.” Mary Beth looked like she was on the edge of tears.

“It's nothing.” She replied.

“But you were hurt. I thought you were going to die.” Mary Beth sat in the seat next to the bed.

“I pulled some stitches when I got tripped.” Tracy replied.

“Oh. So it's from when Bruce hurt you?”

Tracy nodded her head and sighed. There was no stopping Mary Beth, she was slowly learning that. “Yeah.”

“So, what did he do to you?” She asked her usual question once more.

Tracy chuckled and groaned as she held her ribs. “You never stop, do you?”

“I'm just curious.” Mary Beth smiled at her.

“I still don't want to talk about it.” Tracy answered.

“Okay.” Mary Beth nodded and leaned back in the chair. This confused Tracy.

“Okay? Not used to you giving up on something.” She lifted her head and raised an eyebrow.

“Meh, You wont tell me, why ask anymore?” Mary Beth shrugged. “So are you going to be in school tomorrow?”

“No. I'm out of school for a week, maybe till the break.” Tracy replied.

“Do you need your homework?” Mary Beth asked.

“No, Vance is getting that for me. But thank you.” She shook her head. “Not that I really want it anyway.”

Mary Beth chuckled. “Yeah, school does suck.” She leaned forward in her chair, her eyes gleaming with excitement. This worried Tracy. “So, Can I ask a question?”

“I may not answer, but sure, ask away.” Tracy replied. She was waiting for the stream of questions to start again, even though Mary Beth had seemed to give up a minute before, but her fears were quickly laid to rest when they got interrupted, just in time.

“Mary Beth?” A woman's voice called to her from the doorway. “We should get going.”

“Aw, Mom. I wanna talk some more.” Mary Beth replied.

“I know, but we still got to pick up your father. Maybe you can talk to your friend later in the week.”

Mary Beth smiled at Tracy and nodded. “Could I? I can get the address from Vance tomorrow.”

“Sure I guess.” Tracy shrugged. “I won't be doing much anyway.”

“Cool.”

“Hey, Mary Beth?” The other girl stopped halfway in the room. “Could you turn on the TV? Maybe see if they got MTV?”

“Oh, they do!” She went over and grabbed a chair and dragged it to the TV and turned it on.

“Not too loud though.” Tracy said as Mary Beth turned it up. “Thanks.”

“See ya later.” Mary Beth smiled at her and she followed her mother out of the door, leaving Tracy to the sounds of the Go-Go's.

~o~O~o~

It was almost eight in the evening when Peter stuck his head into the room. The sounds of MTV were still playing on the TV and Tracy sat there, watching each video intently. He walked over and stopped just by her bed and turned to watch the videos. After it was done he turned and looked at her. “The Tom-Tom club? I never heard of them.”

“They're kinda cool.” She said as she looked at him. A part of her was still mad at him for saying the wrong name, then there was the fact he babied her, even though her current location proved he was right. “Why are you here?”

He looked to the floor. He was still feeling guilty for not being there for her. It had torn him up to see her carried away again. “I...I wanted to know how you were doing.”

“I was just a little sore.” She replied as she looked back to the TV, trying to stay mad at him for some reason. “Nothing to worry about.”

“You were brought here. It's something to worry about.” He moved to a seat by her bed and he plopped into it. “When I saw you in Mr. McCoy's arms....” He trailed off for a moment, then her attention was pulled from the TV when she heard a sniffle. She could see fresh tears running down his cheeks.

“Peter?” She asked, her anger now rushing away. “Are you okay?”

“No.” He said before he sniffled again. “I screwed up and made you mad, then you got hurt. If I had been there I could have caught you.” He began to cry and she put a hand out to touch his shoulder.

“Hey. If you hadn't been there, Clark would have kicked my ass.” She said.

“But you still got hurt.” He replied.

“Only because someone tripped me.”

“But I could have been there for you.” He cried out. He looked up at her and tears kept falling. “It's my fault you got hurt. The day Bruce got to you, I stayed to watch something on the TV. I was late because of a stupid cartoon. You got hurt because of me!”

“Peter, it's not your fault.” She said.

Neither of them seen Carly walk in with a clipboard in hand. “Is everything okay in here?” She asked.

“Sorry, Carly.” Tracy looked at her, then gestured to Peter. “We'll keep it down.”

“He's not bugging you?” The nurse asked.

“No.” Tracy smiled.

“Well, I do need to break this up. You need to take a walk and visiting hours are over in about two minutes.” Carly said, pointing to the clock.

“Aww.” Tracy said, her anger now a distant memory. “Can't we hang out a bit longer? Maybe watch a couple more videos?”

“Okay, two more videos, then he's got to go and you need a walk.” Carly said. “Gives me time to check up on next door.”

“Thank you, Carly.” Tracy said as the nurse walked out of the room. She gave Peter's shoulder a slight squeeze. “I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. You were right about me hurting myself.”

“I don't wanna be right. I just want you by me and healthy.” Peter said wiping the tears from his eyes as another video started playing. “I hate seeing you in here.”

“Me too.” Tracy answered.

So much for going to the Bay area and being one of the girls. Next up, Tracy gets bored at home.

Tracy was woken from her slumber by the ringing of the phone inches from her head. She grunted as she turned on her side and blindly reached for the infernal device that had ruined her sleep. She didn't hear anyone running for the phone, so she guessed that she was still all alone in the house. She groped for the phone with her left hand, which she wasn't used to using. She almost dropped it before she secured her grip on it. She held it to her ear and tried to say “Hello? Who is this?” But in came out as gibberish.

There was the chuckle of a young girl on the other end of the phone. “Is that English?” She heard Rachel's voice ask.

“Rachel?” She mumbled into the phone.

“And Sage.” A second voice said.

“She's at my place because we wanted to call and see how you were doing.” Rachel answered the yet to be asked question.

“So....." Sage gave a slight pause for dramatic effect and then asked. "how you doing?”

---

This poor girl may win at some point.
Thanks to Djkauf for the editing.

---

December 10th 1982
Northern California

It was mid afternoon on Friday when the family had finally got their youngest child out of the hospital. The hospital had kept her one more day to let her rest a bit more. She was partly glad to be away from there. Sure she lost the ability to watch MTV, but the food would be a damn sight better. She could only have soup for now and clear liquids, but it was better then water and bland chicken soup. She had begged her parents to make one quick detour before they went home. She had to make things right with Mr. Rivers and Jerry.

So she found herself slowly walking up to the office, making this one of two walks for the day It was her hope that Mr. Rivers was still there. Her mother moved ahead of her to catch the door for her. The secretary gasped as they entered the office. Troy just smiled at her and gave a wave to the nurse, before her mother made her sit at a bench.

“Hello, we're here to talk to Mr. Harper and a Mr. Rivers.” William said.

“Ah, they're inside, I'll go let him know you're here.” The Secretary got up and went into the Principals office.

“You sure about this honey?” Maggie asked.

“Yes Mom. It feels right.” Tracy replied.

“You can head back.” The Secretary said as she came out of the office. She opened up the little swinging door to let them through.

William let his wife and child go first, then he followed then into the small office. Behind the desk sat Mr. Harper. In front of the desk stood Jerry Rivers and a mountain of a man with a short military haircut. The Principal stood up and smiled. “Ah, young Mr. Patterson. Feeling better I hope?”

“No Sir.” Tracy replied. “I still feel sore.”

“That's to be expected.” Mr. Harper replied. He gestured to the free seat and William and Maggie let their son take the seat. This got the man who was watching them to raise an eyebrow and give him a look that Tracy wasn't to sure of. It seemed half anger and half confusion. But any questions he had were interrupted by the Principal.

“I was asked to have you and your son here by young Troy and his father.” He gestured to the child in question. “Troy, it's your floor.”

“What? What floor? What do you mean?” Tracy asked

Mr. Harper chuckled. “You can speak now.”

“Oh.” She blushed from the embarrassment, then looked at Mr. Rivers. “I asked to see if you could come in because I wanted to talk to you about your son.”

Before she could continue, Mr. Rivers interrupted her. “What did he do this time.” He grumbled, then he glared at his son who was still standing in the same spot.

“Nothing. He did nothing wrong.” Tracy said and then let out a big sigh. She wasn't ready for it to be this difficult. And the pain she was feeling didn't help matters. Her father seen her slump, so he took over.

“Mr. Rivers, I'm William Patterson, Troy's father.” William offered a hand out to the other man. “This is my wife Maggie. Our son would like to speak to you, not about what your son did, but what he didn't do.”

“John Rivers. Pleased to meet you, but what do you mean?” He took the hand and shook it.

“It was our property that your son was at when he was with the Millett kid.” William replied.

“Ah, I understand now.” He looked at William and nodded. “You want to make sure that I am going to punish my son, right?”

Tracy shook her head and spoke up. “No sir. I heard that you were going to send your son to a Military school.”

“I am. It's the best thing for him. I mean he helped to attack your grandmother, mother and you, why shouldn't I?”

“Because he didn't.” Tracy replied.

“What do you mean? He was there, wasn't he?”

“He was sir, but he didn't attack me or anyone else.” Tracy turned to face him better. “If it hadn't been for your son, I would have.....” She trailed off as a shiver ran up her spine and a tear raced down her cheek as her nightmares replayed in her head again. “Let's just say it would have been worse.”

William nudged his wife and gestured to Tracy. “Troy, would you like me to explain it to him?” He saw her head move in a quick nod and he motioned to the door. “John, could I speak to you outside? This is kinda private.”

“Sure I guess.” He stood up, not really sure what was going on, but he was willing to listen.

Troy sat in the chair, waiting for the worst. Jerry looked at him, confusion all over his face. “What are you trying to do? I'm already going away, isn't that good enough?”

“I'm trying to save you from going away. You didn't do anything and the more I think about it, had you not stopped Bruce, I....” Another tear ran down his cheek. “It would have been worse, a lot worse.” Troy went silent for a moment and shut his eyes.

“Troy is sure that you helped buy him that second he needed to escape. In the end he still got hurt, but had you not stopped Bruce, it could have been worse.” Maggie supplied as she put an arm around her child.

“Really?” Jerry asked.

“Troy...Maggie, may I ask what happened?” Mr. Harper asked. “It wont leave this room.”

Maggie bent over till she could see Tracy's eyes. “Can I tell him? He should know in case of troubles and it gives you someone to talk to in case of problems.”

“Sure.” She nodded, but turned her gaze back to her lap.

“When Bruce came to the farm, he found Troy and was just going to beat him up. But he saw what Troy was wearing and he got mean.” Maggie said. She knew that both parties knew about the skirt, so this wasn't news to them, plus it was better to tell the truth. “Bruce tired to rape him.”

“What?!?” Mr. Harper was shocked. He had known of the boy's violent streak, but rape wasn't something he had expected.

“It's true sir.” Jerry replied. All he could feel was shame for his actions in the attack so his gaze went to the floor. “He was....he was going to share Troy with all of us.”

“And did he?” The Principal asked.

“No. According to Troy, Jerry here managed to distract Bruce for a moment, giving Troy that chance to break free.” Maggie replied.

“I just thought he was going to scare Troy, hell I didn't even know why he wanted to hurt Troy until Monday.” Jerry shook his head, his gaze still on the carpet in front of him. “When he cut Troy's shirt off and started to cut the skirt, I had to stop it. I...I was stupid. Ever since we moved here, no one talks to me. I had no friends till Bruce showed up and I just couldn't tell him no.”

“I understand.” Maggie nodded. “Our oldest, Vance, was a friend of his too.”

“He said that. He was going to beat him up too I think.” Jerry agreed.

“Jerry, I don't hate you. If you hadn't been there, it could have been worse.” Tracy said.

“I'm no hero.” He replied. “Hell, you still got hurt.”

“That's because Bruce chased him after he broke free. It was three on one, not good odds for anyone.” Maggie stated.

The door opened up and Mr. Rivers walked in with William. Mr Rivers took his seat again and turned to face Troy. “Your father told me what happened. He also told me that you don't blame my son, is that right?”

“Correct, Sir.” Tracy replied in a soft voice. “If he hadn't been there, it could have been a lot worse.”

“You're father said something like that.” John said with a nod. “Troy, I was raised by a military man. I grew up moving base to base. And my dad was a stickler for the rules. If I had been a part of any fight that wasn't to defend myself, I'd have been beat with my father’s belt. Normally I would have done the same thing, but your father says that you don't want him to be punished because he helped you. I had also planned on sending him to a military school so they could straighten him out. But your father said you didn't want that.”

“No sir. He didn't do anything wrong.” Tracy replied. “And wouldn't it be sending the wrong message if you punish him for helping someone?”

“But he was on your property.” John interjected.

“And he helped.” Maggie cut in. “John, my eldest was a friend of Bruce. That had a way of getting kids to follow him. All your son needs is friends, good friends.”

“And he could get them at a military school.” John replied.

“But then he'd hate you and you’re still punishing him for nothing.” Tracy stated. “I know a few older kids that are cool. Heck, he could hang out with Vance.”

John held up his hands to stop both the child and her mother. “Okay. I won't send him to the school, this time.” He turned to face his son. “But one more screw up in the next year and you go, understand me?”

“Yes, Sir.” The boy replied.

“That's settled then.” He held out a hand to Troy. “Thank you for speaking out young man. It takes a big man to stand up for what he believes in.”

“Thank you, sir.” Tracy said with a slight smile as she shook his hand.

John turned to his son. “Mr. Patterson has offered to help you with your free time. If you want that is.”

“How so?” Jerry asked, now a bit nervous.

“We have fifteen acres of olive trees. I also have a lot of work outside that needs to be done and I'm down one child, until the doctor lifts his restrictions. How would you like to help around the farm. We'd be willing to pay you for your time, not much, but it's something.” William stated.

“Sure, I guess.” He replied.

“Be just on the weekends, that way you can do your schoolwork.” William said.

“Okay.” Jerry nodded.

“Good. We'll see you tomorrow.” He held out a hand and Jerry shook it.

“So I can tear up the transfer of paperwork request?” Mr. Harper asked.

“Please.” John said with a smile.

Tracy waited till the adults were done talking and she got up and headed for the door. She held a slower pace towards the car then her parents and Mr. Rivers. Jerry held back and began to walk with her.

Jerry cleared his throat. “Hey, um thanks.”

“No problem. I mean it, I'd have been a lot worse off if you hadn't said anything.”

Jerry looked at how slowly she moved. “Are you hurt worse because of me?”

“No. I got tripped the other day and the stitches were torn out. I’ve been in the hospital since then.” Tracy replied.

“Ouch. Where did he hurt you?” Jerry asked.

“Everyone wants to know that.” Tracy chuckled and then she gasped as her ribs reminded her of how much they hurt. She didn't want to talk about it, but she needed something from him and she was willing to trade, an answer for a promise.

She stopped and waited for him to face her. “I'll tell you, but I need you to promise something.”

“Promise what?” He asked.

“Well two things, actually. First is don't tell Mary Beth Higgins.” She smiled at him.

“Yeah, she's been bugging me for information, too.” He chuckled. “Deal.”

“The second promise is to not tell a soul about what I was wearing that day.” Tracy said.

“Well you did keep me out of military school. I so didn't want to go there.” Jerry said. “I promise.”

Tracy took a step close and dropped her voice. “They broke three ribs and sprained my wrist. But that's not the bad part.” She said. “They kicked me in the crotch so many times that they destroyed my testicles.”

His face got a bit green. “Did it hurt?” He asked.

“Hell yeah.” Tracy nodded. “I still hurt. Heck, I can barely walk half the time. It feels like someone is kicking my nuts every time I step and they kick hard.”

Jerry winced in pain. “Ow. Okay, enough of that. No wonder you can't help around your farm.” He waited for the phantom pain to leave, till he looked over to make sure the parents were still talking, as he leaned forwards and whispered. “Why do you do it? The skirt I mean? Why do you wear them?”

She sighed. She had given him one thing for two promises, plus he was asking and not freaking out. Plus she had his promise. “At first I did it to escape. See Vance used to pick on me and my Grandpa hated me. So I dressed up and acted like there was no Vance, no Dad and no Grandpa.” She said.

“At first? So why do you do it now?” He asked.

“Because I think I should have been a girl.” She replied.

“Really?” He took a step back and began to examine her closely. Then he thought about how he would seem Troy around the school. “Okay, I can see that. Do you go by Troy when you're like that?”

“No. I call myself Tracy.” She said with a smile

“I see. So who are you now?” He asked.

“I'm Troy right now and he's in a world of pain.” She said with a chuckle that made her wince in pain. “Now you did promise you wouldn't tell a soul.”

“I wont. Besides, I saw what you did to Bruce, Frankie and Kenny.” He said with a shake of his head. “I don't think I want to piss you off. You were pretty awesome in that fight.”

“Heh. Fat lot of good that did.”

“Yeah. I've been kicking myself for not siding with you when you first started fighting.” He sighed. “But next time I'll be at your side.”

“Hopefully there won’t be a next time.” She looked up and saw her mother waving for her to come over.

“Come on kiddo, we still got to get to work.” Maggie called to her.

“Come on, before my Dad gets pissed too.” Jerry said.

~o~O~o~

A short while later they finally made it home. William opened up the door to the house and let Tracy step in first. Then Maggie went in and followed her daughter.

“Okay kiddo, you heard the doc. Time for bed.” William said, resting a hand on her shoulder. She fidgeted with her sweat clothes and just sighed. “Dad will check up on you every couple of hours while we're at work.”

“You can't stay?” She asked.

“No, we took enough time off this year, and if I want that extra spending money for Christmas, I got to work.” He replied. “Plus your mom has exhausted her sick time, so we have to go to work, or we join the unemployed.”

“Oh. Okay.” Tracy began walking to her room, only to stop in the kitchen doorway. “So I have to stay in bed, in my room?”

“Yes. No getting up or we end up at the hospital again. And I'll make sure you don't see your friends for a long while if that happens.”

“But it's boring in there.” She whined.

“I'm sorry, but you're the one who pushed the limits.” William stated.

“Could I use the pull out couch in here? So I got the TV to keep me company?” Tracy asked.

William looked to his wife who was right behind her daughter. She shrugged. “What's the harm? Less chance of her getting up. Plus two weeks in bed and nothing to do while people are gone will get boring. God knows you hated it when you were in the VA hospital after 'Nam”

“Okay. Tell you what, go to the bathroom and I'll pull out the couch. Maggie, bring her blankets and pillows.” William said as he pulled the coffee table away from the couch.

Ten minutes later Tracy was walking into the living room, her mother walking with her to make sure she didn't overdo it. “Okay, go ahead and lie down. We've got a fire going and Dad will check on you in an hour to keep the fire going so you don't get cold.”

Tracy sat down carefully on the bed and Maggie helped swing her feet up to the mattress. “Mom, I can do that.” She groaned.

“Maybe, and maybe you'll hurt yourself again.” Maggie moved the phone over to the end table by the couch. “Here, in case of problems, call your grandparents. And I let Shelly know to let the girls know you’re home.”

Tracy's look turned sour. “You told them I couldn't come?”

“No, not yet.” Maggie said with a shake of her head. “We've got that appointment on next Wednesday. So we can find out then.”

“Oh. Okay.” Tracy lay back on the bed as her mother went to the TV and switched it on. “Sorry, but it's just soap operas right now. Some of the game shows should be on soon. I've put a couple of your books on the end table for you.”

“Thank you, Mama.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy was woken from her slumber by the ringing of the phone inches from her head. She grunted as she turned on her side and blindly reached for the infernal device that had ruined her sleep. She didn't hear anyone running for the phone, so she guessed that she was still all alone in the house. She groped for the phone with her left hand, which she wasn't used to using. She almost dropped it before she secured her grip on it. She held it to her ear and tried to say “Hello? Who is this?” But in came out as gibberish.

There was the chuckle of a young girl on the other end of the phone. “Is that English?” She heard Rachel's voice ask.

“Rachel?” She mumbled into the phone.

“And Sage.” A second voice said.

“She's at my place because we wanted to call and see how you were doing.” Rachel answered the yet to be asked question.

“So....." Sage gave a slight pause for dramatic effect and then asked. "how you doing?”

“I hurt?” Tracy replied, sounding less groggy as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“And whose fault is that?” Sage asked, a hint of disapproval in her voice.

“I was tripped. That's how the stitches came out.” Tracy said with a sigh.

“And what about when we were up there?” Rachel asked. “It's our fault you kept getting out of bed.”

“It's...I mean...” Tracy sighed again. “I wanted to hang out with you and it's boring in bed.”

“But you could cause problems in your body. We don't want to lose you so soon after we found you.” Rachel stated.

“Please, don't push yourself for us. We're not going anywhere and neither are the girls.” Sage added. “There's a full summer of fun coming up too.”

“Yeah, I guess.” She replied.

“Look we've bugged you enough about that.” Rachel said. “Anything you want for Christmas?”

Tracy thought about it for a moment. “Clothes? Maybe some jewelery?”

“How about some music?” Rachel asked. “Hear anything new lately? Or is your mother still watching what you hear.”

“She's been letting me listen to those tapes you brought up last week. She still wants to hear the stuff first, but so far the Go-go's are okay, same with that Rod Stewart tape you brought up.”

“What about Journey and The Clash?” Sage asked.

“She's not too wild about the Clash, but it works for now.”

"It's not hard rock." Rachel replied.

"I did get to watch MTV almost non stop while I was in the hospital this time. There's some cool videos out there." Tracy stated.

"Oh," She heard Rachel give a contented sigh. "That one guy in Duran Duran is too cute. And John Cougar is cute too."

Sage began to giggle and chant. "Rachel like's Johnny Cougar! Rachel likes Johnny Cougar!" Then there was a muffled thump sound and Sage's laughter got louder for a moment.

"What are you two doing?" Tracy asked.

"I'm beating Sage with a pillow from the couch. She had it coming." Rachel replied and there was another muffled thump.

"Good. Beat her once for me." Tracy said, half a second later, one last thump was heard.

“Done. We could always just save money and take you to the movies when you come down too.” Rachel asked.

“That could be fun.” Tracy replied.

“Hey! What about Marriott's Great America?!?” Sage exclaimed. “I mean we'd need our parents too, but that could be fun!”

“What's that?”

“It's an amusement park South of Frisco! It's got roller coasters and other rides and it's so much fun...or there's the Winchester Mystery House?” Sage's voice bubbled with excitement.

“Mystery House?” Tracy repeated. “Um, what's that?”

“It's this place that some old lady built and had to keep building or she thought that spirits would kill her. The place is huge. It's got all sorts of stuff like stairwells to nowhere, doors that open to brick walls and a huge maze made of hedges.” She could almost see Sage smile. “We went last year, it was cool.”

“Um...are there real spirits there?” Tracy asked.

“Who knows. That's the mystery.” Sage said in a spooky voice. What she didn't know was Sage had been wiggling her fingers in an almost mystic move, trying to enhance the words. In the background Tracy could hear someone talking to the girls, then Sage spoke up. “Hey, We'll try to call tomorrow or Sunday, We're going to my aunt's place.”

“What about Rachel?” Tracy asked.

“Sorry, headed to my Grandma's house for the weekend. But we'll try to call tomorrow or Sunday.” The other girl repeated.

“Oh, okay.” Tracy said as Vance stepped into the house. “Talk to you later. Bye Sage, Bye Rachel.”

“That's Sage on the phone? Tell her hi from me.” Vance said with a huge smile.

“Sage, Vance says to say Hi.” Tracy said with a huge grin.

“Ugh. Tell him I say hi.” She replied.

“Bye Tracy.”

She heard the phone click and then the dial tone sounded in her ear. Tracy looked to her brother as she hung up the phone. “She said hi, but they had to leave in a hurry, had to go to an Aunt's place.”

“Aw. I wanted to talk to her and see how she's doing.” Vance said as he headed to the kitchen.

“I'm sure we'll see her again.” Tracy lay back in the bed and decided not to tease him about having a crush on her friend.

“Yeah, I guess.” Then he stopped and came back to the living room, his lips pulled back into a huge grin. “Hey! I could go with them if you get to go down there. You know, when they drop you off?”

“Maybe. I'm not sure if I get to go.” Tracy stated. “I have to be a good girl to go.”

“Be good then.” Vance hooked a thumb to the kitchen. “You need anything? Water? Some soup?”

Tracy smiled at him. “Water is good. And could you check on the fire, it's getting chilly in here.”

He stopped to put fire in the stove before he headed to the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, she heard him exclaim from the sink. “HEEEEYYYYY!” A moment later he was walking towards her with the water. “How about I go with you? You know, to make sure you don't over do it?”

“Um, would you be watching me, or Sage?” She asked taking the glass.

“Well um...You I guess.” He blushed and quickly turned away from her.

“Vance, it'll be a sleepover. Each night we may be at a different house. I don't know if the other girl’s parents would let a boy be there.” Tracy picked up the glass to take a drink.

“What about you then? I know you want to be Tracy, but you're still a boy.” He stated. “What if they get mad when they find out?”

At first she wanted to yell at him, but then she thought about it and he was right. What if they found out? But then they knew Sage. It was a question to ask, if she got to go. “I...” She shrugged. “I don't know.”

“Maybe you should have Mom and Dad ask then? And I can go help.” He said before walking to their bedroom.

“I'll think about it.” Tracy said with a shake of her head.

~o~O~o~

December 15th 1982

On Wednesday morning she awoke to the usual sounds of the morning getting going. Her father was headed off to work and Vance was headed for school with some of her homework to give to her teacher. Tracy had been in the bed almost non stop except for bathroom breaks and two fifteen minute walks daily since Friday. It had been like a type of torture to her. The highlight to her weekend was the phone call from Sage and Rachel on Sunday where they talked more about music and places to go to.

Her mother stopped by her side and handed her a cup of water. “Okay. I'll be back at noon, your appointment is at one. We'll get lunch while we're out, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.” She replied.

“Is it Tracy today?” Maggie asked with a smile.

“Well, while we're here it is.” She said. “Even if I'm just in sweats. Should I change for the appointment?”

“No, go for comfort. No one will care if you're in sweats. We can get take out if you want, so no one will see your sweats.” Her mother brushed some of the hair out of her face. “It beats wearing tight pants and hurting yourself.

“Okay Mama.” She took a drink then sat the glass down and prepared to watch morning TV. “I'll see you at noon.”

“That's good. Now don't push yourself and we'll see if we can get you to your friends this weekend.” Maggie said.

“Hey Mom?” Tracy asked, taking her attention from the TV for a moment. She had waited to discuss the question her brother had raised in her mind. “Mom, if I can go, should I go down there?”

“Honey, you've been looking forward to that for the past two weeks now. Why wouldn't you go?” Maggie sat on the edge of the bed.

“Vance said that they may find out I'm a boy. What if they do? What if their parent's find out.”

“Well we could ask Persephone, she seems to know the parents the best. But Sage's cousins know about her, so I doubt they'd care about you.” Maggie said. “We could always have her tell the parents, that way we can see if it's okay.”

Tracy nodded. “Okay.”

“Good. Then we'll figure out what's going on with you first. I know two girls who'll be calling about four this afternoon, so we need to get the final answer from the doctor first.” Maggie stood up. “Till then try and relax and only get up when you need to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay, Mama.” She said and went back to the TV. “Have a good day at work.”

“I'll try, Tracy, you be good while you're here.” Maggie said as she gathered her purse.

“I will, Mama.” She replied.

~o~O~o~

Tracy lay on another examination bed for what felt like an eternity. She had once more been put into a skimpy gown again. Doctor Davis was busy checking out her young patient once more. Tracy lay there, still wondering why they didn't ever have anything cool on the ceiling. So she began to count the pin holes in the tiles.

“Okay. Things are looking a bit better then last week.” The doctor said as she got up and pulled off her gloves. She went across the room and looked at the records

“So does that mean I can go to visit my friends?” Tracy asked.

“I'd advise against it.” The Doctor replied. Tracy raised her head and looked like she was ready to burst into tears. “Unless you can promise me you'll walk just thirty minutes, twice a day for the next week and no lifting.”

“I can promise the lifting part.” Tracy said, not making eye contact. “But can I only walk thirty minutes? Or can it be more?”

“You need to limit yourself, so no. If you can't keep it at two thirty minute walks, then no, you shouldn't go.”

“Dammit.” She let her head fall back. “I just wanna be with my friends.” This time the tears began to fall. Her chance to be one of the girls was ruined.

“We discussed this before. If you push yourself, you could be a lot worse off.” Doctor Davis said.

“I know.” She replied as she began to cry.

“Sweetie, it's not the end of the world.” Maggie put a hand on her shoulder.

“Mom, my one chance to be one of the girls.” She shut her eyes tight. “Stupid Bruce. Stupid Bobby.”

The Doctor looked at Maggie. “Who are Bruce and Bobby?”

“Bruce is the boy who put her in to the hospital the first time. Bobby is the kid who tripped her last week.” Maggie replied.

“Oh. You know kiddo, there is one more person to blame.” The Doctor looked down at her. “You pushed yourself, so part of the blame is yours, too.”

“Just isn't fair.” She muttered as she lay there.

“Doctor, could I speak to you outside?” Maggie asked.

“Sure.” She followed Maggie out of the exam room and shut the door.

“I was afraid this would happen.” Maggie said.

“I'm being honest. If he goes down there, he'll be tempted to walk and dance and play with his friends.” She looked both ways in the hallway, then lowered her voice once she was sure the hall was clear. “He is still going to see the Doctor about wanting to be a girl?”

“That's Friday.” Maggie replied with a nod. “We were going to go there before we took her to Livermore.”

“I see.” Doctor Davis leaned against the wall. “I know she should see the other Doctor, but honestly, if he is wanting to be one of the girls, the chance of him trying to keep up with a couple of healthy girls could put a bigger strain on his body.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Maggie asked.

“Aside from tying her down to where she can't walk, dance, run and jump, not much.”

Maggie turned and looked down the hall. She wasn't looking forward to telling Tracy that the trip was off. Then her eyes landed on something at the end of the hall. She turned around and smiled.

I really don't mean to make this one a cliffhanger, but when I was writing it, I hit page 12 at this point and figured I had enough for one post and the rest can go into the next one.

Her heart began to race as she hoped it was her friends and she reached over for the phone and picked it up, still wishing for the use of her right hand. “Hello?” She called into the phone.

“HI TRACY!” A group of voices yelled into the phone, making her pull the earpiece away from her ear. She waited a second and slowly put the ear piece back, waiting to be yelled at again.

“Um....hi.” She said. “Who is this?”

“It's us you goof!” Sage replied.

“Sounds like more than just you and Rachel.” Tracy sat up in the pull out bed and put her back against the sofa cushions. “Who all is there?”

“Well there's me, Rachel, Brooke, you haven't met her yet, Stacey and Casey and you haven’t met them either.”

“Oh. Cool.” Tracy's attitude picked up as she sat there.

“So, did we wake you up this time?” Sage asked.

---

More fun with Tracy and her chance to be with the girls.

A big thanks to Djkauf for the editing.

---

December 15th 1982
Northern California

:Continued:

Maggie turned and looked down the hall. She wasn't looking forward to telling Tracy that the trip was off. Then her eyes landed on something at the end of the hall. She turned around and smiled. “What if we were to rent a wheelchair? Would that help?”

Doctor Davis thought about it for a moment and she slowly nodded. “Yeah. Get a good cushion under him. You'd have to make sure that when he's not in the chair, he's lying down or sitting like how we told him the first time. And we limit the walks to ten minutes a day. He'll need someone to push him. That wrist of his is too weak right now to work the wheels.”

“I think I can do that. I can send the information to the people he was going to stay with.” Maggie said.

“I also think it would be best to do that for his Doctor appointment on Friday as well.” The Doctor added.

“Thank you, this will mean a lot to him.” Maggie said with a smile.

~o~O~o~

Tracy had gone straight to the pull out bed when they got home. She was determined to take it easy so she'd get to go. Even though the doctor had given her the green light to go in a wheelchair, she was afraid her parents would say no if she pushed herself.

So she lay there, this time with the TV off. She had decided to read a book instead and picked up one of the Chronicles of Narnia. She was halfway though the book when the phone rang. She put the book down and looked at the clock, which showed it was just past three thirty.

Her heart began to race as she hoped it was her friends and she reached over for the phone and picked it up, still wishing for the use of her right hand. “Hello?” She called into the phone.

“HI TRACY!” A group of voices yelled into the phone, making her pull the earpiece away from her ear. She waited a second and slowly put the ear piece back, waiting to be yelled at again.

“Um....hi.” She said. “Who is this?”

“It's us you big goof!” Sage replied.

“Sounds like more than just you and Rachel.” Tracy sat up in the pull out bed and put her back against the sofa cushions. “Who all is there?”

“Well there's me, Rachel, Brooke, you haven't met her yet, Stacey and Casey and you haven’t met them either.”

“Oh. Cool.” Tracy's attitude picked up as she sat there.

“So, did we wake you up this time?” Sage asked.

“No, I was reading the Lion the witch and the wardrobe.” Tracy replied,. “While waiting for you to call.”

“Good book. You should read the Hobbit if you like that. And Lord of the rings.” Sage said. “So, can you come?”

“The doctor said I have to take it easy and she wasn't going to let me go down. But Mom suggested a wheelchair and the Doctor agreed. So yeah, I'm coming down.” Tracy said, then she waited for Sage to tell everyone. A round of screaming cheers forced her to pull the phone away again.

“Groovy.” Sage stated. “So you can go to like the malls and stuff?”

“Well the doctor doesn't want me pushing myself. So I can only be in it for a few hours at a time, unless I got a good cushion.” Tracy stated.

“I see. Well we maybe able to find you a good cushion for that wheelchair. I happen to know a few people.” Sage repeated what she had been told to the other girls, then spoke into the phone again. “So, Tracy, can you walk? Or is it still limited?”

“Two fifteen minute walks a day and trips to the bathroom.” Tracy replied. “No jumping or running and no horseplay.”

“Makes sense....okay, okay.” Sage's voice got a bit more muffled then she spoke once more. “Look they're trying to take the phone from me, so here's Rachel.”

Before Tracy could respond, Rachel's voice spoke up. “Wheelchair? That's no fun, but then it's Christmas time. The malls will be packed and with a wheelchair we can push you through the crowds and run over the feet of whoever gets in our way.”

“Great, I'm a battering ram.” Tracy said with a chuckle that forced her to groan and hold her sides.

“So, sides still hurt?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah. I'll also need someone to push the chair, ‘cause my wrist still hurts from the second sprain.”

“We can manage that.” Rachel said, and Tracy could almost hear the smile in her voice.

“Maybe we can go catch a movie or something.” Tracy stated.

“That would be cool....yeah, yeah...” Rachel got muffled for a moment, then she came back. “Hey, Brooke wants to talk to you

“Okay.” Tracy said and she waited till a new voice came on the phone.

“Hello, Tracy?” She couldn't place the accent, it sounded slightly Asian, but she wasn't sure. There was only one Asian kid at her school and she rarely talked to him.

“Yeah, this Brooke?” She asked.

“Yep. Sage and Rachel told us all about you getting hurt while defending your grandmother. That's super cool that you defended her. Not many girls can fight, or are willing to fight three men.”

“They were boys.” Tracy said. “Kids from my school.”

“Ah, I see.” Brooke replied. “Still cool. I mean come on, you fought three assholes. How many girls can say that.”

“Yeah.”

“So what style do you use? Karate? Kung Fu? Kick boxing?”

“Tai Chi, but I was thinking of learning Wing Chun too.” Tracy said with a smile that the other girl couldn't see.

“That's cool. Bruce Lee learned that first, so it's some killer stuff. Hey, you're still hurt, right?” Brooke asked.

“Yeah, got stuck into a wheelchair because of the pain and me pulling out stitches at school.” Tracy answered.

“Ouch. Wheelchairs suck, but the secret is to not let it be your identity.” Brooke replied. “And think of it, for you it's temporary.”

“Yeah, hopefully I get out of it around Christmas.”

“Tell you what, would you be willing to try something?” Brooke asked.

“Like what?” Tracy was a bit nervous at the question. She had no idea who Brooke was, or what type of person she could be.

“My Grandfather does acupuncture. He works it on me when I feel a lot of pain. Maybe that could help you?” Brooke suggested.

“Isn't that the needle thing? Where they stab you with needles?” Tracy began to feel a little worried. She hated needles.

“It is, but trust me, it's not as bad as you think. In fact I love to have it done.” Brooke replied. “He's also can do a wicked massage that helps.”

“Oh?” Tracy wasn't sure about all of it, then she thought of the pain. “Can I think about it?”

“Sure.” She swore she could hear Brooke smile. “Hey, I gotta...I gotta go pee, can I talk to you Friday?”

“Sure.” Tracy answered.

“Here's Stacey.” Brooke said before the phone was passed again.

“Hi Tracy!” A new voice called into the phone.

“Stacey?” Tracy asked.

“Of course.” The girl replied. “I got my sister here too, but she can't talk. She says hi.”

“Oh. Tell her hi for me.” Tracy said.

“Okay. So how are you doing? You ready to come down and have fun?”

“I can't do too much, or I'll be stuck in a hospital again.” Tracy said.

“Yeah, I heard. That's no fun, but we got lots of board games, plus there's MTV.”

“Yeah. I like MTV.” Tracy said.

“So do we.” In the background she could hear a voice that she thought was Persephone. “Hey, we got to get going. Want me to tell them all goodbye?”

“Please?”

Stacey spoke again, but her voice was a bit quieter. “Tracy says bye everyone.”

Then Tracy yanked the phone from her ear as she heard “BYE TRACY!” screamed into the phone. A moment later it was just a dial tone. Tracy looked at the handset before hanging it up.

"I'm gonna go deaf with them.” She mused to herself as she picked up her book again.

~o~O~o~

December 17th 1982

It was just after one in the afternoon as Maggie pushed her daughter out of the Psychiatrist's office and toward her car. In the wheelchair, Tracy sat there fuming about what the doctor had said and what she hadn't. “I can't believe she kept calling me Troy.”

“Baby, she may have been testing you.” Maggie said.

“And questioning why I was in a skirt?” Tracy balls up a fist and beat it against the arm rest.

“Sweetie, she was just doing her job. She has to make sure.” Maggie pulled the wheelchair up to her car and set the brakes so her daughter could get out.

Tracy looked at her mom before she got out of the chair. “And what was that whole thing about not seeing kids my age?”

“Sweetie, she's just afraid that most kids are doing this as a way to annoy their parents.” Maggie replied. “But she did promise to keep seeing you. And she did promise to try and help you with the nightmares, isn't that good?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tracy replied. “As long as she doesn't see me just for that.” Tracy said as she slid into the passenger seat.

She waited as her mother opened up the backdoor and lifted the wheelchair enough to set it behind Tracy's seat. She had almost hurt herself trying to remove it from the trunk once. A moment later, Maggie slid into the drivers seat and looked at her daughter. “I promise, baby, if you don't like what she's doing, we can find a new person, but give it a few sessions.”

“Okay.”

“Are you hungry, or do you want to just go get your Dad and head for Livermore and eat in Marysville?”

“Let's eat in Marysville.” Tracy said as she started to watch the town of Chico pass by her window. Tracy was quiet for the few minutes that it took them to get to the freeway. “Mama?”

“Yes, Tracy?”

Tracy smiled and looked at her mother, who didn't look back, due to traffic. “Do you think I just want attention?”

“Well, I don't think so, but I'm not the professional.” Maggie shrugged. “It's not my area of expertise.”

“Would you hate it if Tracy became a full time thing?” The child asked.

“I love you.” Maggie put a hand on her daughters lap. “No matter if you're Troy or Tracy, I love you with all my heart.”

“I love you too Mama.” Tracy replied. “So do I really have to take that wheelchair with me to Livermore?”

“Yes. This way you don't push yourself.” Maggie looked at her for a second, then back at the road. She already knew something about the wheelchair that Tracy didn't. She knew something about all three of the girls that her daughter was to meet. But she wanted Tracy to be surprised. “And as per you wishes, I called Persephone and she gave me the numbers to the other parents. They know about you and they also know about your recent injuries.”

“Do the girls know?” Tracy asked.

Maggie shook her head. “No. We're going to leave that to you. I only told the parents because we're letting you near their daughters.”

Tracy let out a light chuckle that was followed by a groan of pain. “Thanks Mama, now I feel like I got some illness.”

“It could be worse.” Maggie smiled at her.

“Speaking of worse, did Vance try and talk you into letting him stay with me?” Tracy asked.

“Yes he did and I said no. Then he asked your father and I said no again.” Maggie patted her daughters leg. “They're your friends and you're at least a girl, or want to be. He's a boy and God knows he wouldn't give Sage a moment’s rest.”

“Yeah. He is kinda hung up on her.” Tracy looked out the window again. “So is he riding down with us?”

“Unfortunately yes. He's most likely home already. It was only a half day of school today.”

Tracy groaned. “Awwww. But I was going to lie in the backseat.”

“I know. We're taking your grandfather’s car and he'll be under orders to let you lie down as much as you can.” Maggie stated. “Or I can just let you take the front seat and lie down.”

“Would, you?”

“Yes. Your father agrees with me on that too.” Maggie chuckled. “Besides, you really want us to leave Vance home? There may not be a house when we get there.”

Tracy chuckled and groaned while holding her ribs. “True. Then he'd have a new reason to go with you to pick me up.”

“Poor poor Sage.” Maggie said with a smile.

“Yep.” Tracy nodded.

“If there's any problems tonight, Call Shelly and Frank. We'll be there for the night because your father doesn't want to drive six hours after a ten hour work day.” Maggie said as they made it to the outskirts of Chico and into farmland.

“Really? That's cool.”

~o~O~o~

William pulled his father’s Cadillac up to Shelly and Frank's townhouse. They had taken the bigger car for the smoother ride and more storage space in the trunk. As promised, Maggie had let Tracy take the front seat so she could lay it down to enjoy a couple of hours of rest. She was still in her skirt and blouse so there was no need to change when they got to the house.

She woke to her father tapping her arm. “Hey kiddo, we're here.”

She pulled the handle and let the seat sit upright. Her mother and father were already getting out. When the seat moved Vance got out too.

She opened up her door and saw Rachel looking around the fence that surrounded Shelly and Frank’s patio. She smiled as Rachel ducked out of view. She opened up her door as her father came up to the side of the car with the wheelchair. Vance was already headed to the townhouse when his father stopped him.

“Vance, Can you get the bags?”

Vance turned around and groaned. “Awww.”

“Hey, your bag is in there too. Now go help your mother.”

“But Dad....” Vance started to complain, then he heard the sounds of running feet. He turned to see Rachel, Sage and two other girls race past him. “Okay. I can help.” He said as he started back to the car. A fifth girl came out of the back gate and neither Tracy or her brother saw her.

TRACY!” Sage and Rachel yelled as they got close racing across the shared lawn to the town-homes. William had begun to push the wheelchair down the sidewalk, but stopped as his daughter was swarmed with preteen girls. He looked up in time to see the fifth girl, with definite Asian features rocketing towards them in a wheelchair, her hand's hitting the wheels like a pro racer. But unlike her friends, she couldn't cheat and take the grass. A hint of sadness passed over his face, but all the attention was on his daughter, so no one caught it. A group of five women came out of the gate, including Shelly, Persephone and Lynn, Rachel's mother.

One of the two new girls had a full head of brown hair, pulled into pigtails. She smiled and gave Tracy a quick hug then stood up and pointed to herself. “Hi, I'm Stacey. This is my Sister Casey.” She pointed to a girl who had black hair, but with a streak of white hair on the top of her head. As Tracy looked at her she noticed that her eyes seemed a bit more apart then normal. Stacy tapped the girl who bent over and hugged Tracy, then she stood up and made eye contact with Sage. Her fingers and hands began to move at a rapid pace.

“What's she doing?” Tracy asked.

“Talking.” Sage replied. “She just said, Hello, I'm Casey. How are you?”

“Talking?” Tracy was now very confused.

Stacey smiled. “She's deaf. She's got Warrdenburg syndrome.” Tracy looked over as Sage pointed to her, then translated, then she pointed to Stacey and and translated what she had said as well.

“And Sage can do that...that...what's it called?” Tracy asked.

“Sign language? Yeah, we've grown up together and when she saw that Casey had a special way to talk, she wanted to learn it. We've been teaching Rachel and Brook too.” Once again she could see Sage translating.

“That's cool.”

“Yeah, it gives us a way to talk in class and not get in trouble.” Sage grinned.

Tracy giggled. “Tell her I said hello.” And Sage complied.

“TRACY!!!” The girl in the wheelchair came around the turn in the sidewalk and worked her wheels a couple more times to get back her speed, then she threw her arms up as though she was going to hug her, but she was still speeding towards them. The other two girls stepped out of the way and Tracy flung her arms up in preparation for the crash. William quickly moved around his daughter to catch the runaway girl. At the last moment, she gripped both her wheels and stopped inches away from William. She began to chuckle. “I love doing that.”

“That's not funny.” Tracy said as her heart began to slow down again. “You must be Brooke?

“The one and only.” She smiled. “And yes, it is funny.”

“So...you're...you're in a wheelchair too?” Tracy thought back to the phone call two days earlier. “That's what you mean by wheelchairs suck? Because you're in one too. How did you get in it?”

“I sat down.” Brook replied with a straight face.

Tracy blinked a couple of times, till the joke hit her and she groaned again. “Ugh, bad joke. I mean are you hurt like me?”

Brooke's smile faded. “No. I was in an accident. I'll save you the story for now, but it was bad and I don't have use of much below here.” She put a hand on her lap. I'll fill you in on the story in a bit, but for now, I want you to meet my mother.”

Tracy nodded, then she looked at Stacey. “And that's why you said Casey couldn't talk...I see.”

“Yep.” Stacey smiled. “Sage said you should meet us, before you meet our disabilities.”

The women came closer and Persephone went up to Maggie and gave her a hug, then she hugged William. “William, Maggie, I'd like you to meet my sister, Lillian. She's the mother of Casey and Stacey.” A blond haired woman walked up and offered her hand. "And the other lady is Karen, she's Brooke's mom."

Once the parent's had been introduced, Persephone looked to the girls and smiled. “You've met Tracy, these are her parents William and Maggie. The boy standing behind them and trying not to blush is their eldest, Vance.”

“It's getting a bit chilly out here. Maybe we should head inside and wait for the guys?” Shelly asked.

“The guys?” William repeated.

“Yeah. I figured it was best that the dads meet you two as well, well Stacey and Casey's dad at least." Persephone stated. "His shift should be ending in an hour or so?"

"Shift? Where does he work? Big factory?"

"No. He's a cop. He's a Lieutenant in the Highway Patrol." Lilian said with a measure of pride.

William smiled and nodded, knowing that the safety of his daughter would be seen to at their house. Then he looked to Karen. "What about your husband?"

Karen sighed and lowered her head slightly. "There is no husband. It's Just me and her grandparents. But I want my parent's to meet you too, they help me with Brooke, so they should get to know you too."

"I'd like to meet them." William said and held out his hand, deciding to not dwell on the lack of a father figure. After Karen shook it, he looked to Shelly. "So are we going out to eat?"

"There's a buffet down the road that's really good. We can split the cost, that way no one person is paying for twenty people. ”

Sage took over pushing her wheelchair as Tracy looked at her. “So that's what you meant? By saying I'd fit in?”

Sage just bent down and whispered into her ear. “Like I said, you'll fit in well with them. Each of us are different in our own little way, but that's what makes us so awesome. Casey is one hell of a painter. Stacey is a singer, Rachel has a thing for sewing and acting, Brooke is an athlete and I'm me and you're a hero. And each of us has a weak spot. Brooke is in the chair, Casey can't hear, Rachel hates her weight, I have fought with identity crisis, Stacey hates her teeth in the braces and you are related to Vance.”

“Wouldn't he be your weak spot?” Tracy giggled.

“No, cause he's going home with your parents.” Sage smiled.

"Yep." Tracy smiled. "Tomorrow."

"Crud." Sage grumbled as she walked on.

~o~O~o~

Sage was pushing Tracy up the driveway at Rachel's house. The other four girls were around them when Tracy began to giggle. “I still can't believe you did that to Vance.” She said with a smile.

“I'm innocent.” Sage held a hand over her heart and wore a shocked expression. “It's not my fault he wanted to go get you all drinks during dinner just because I asked.”

“But you asked him.” Rachel said, then she started to laugh. “And you kissed him.” The other girls all erupted at the same time.

“EEEWWWWW.” and that was followed by laughter.

“I only kissed him because my mom said I was being mean to him. She made me.” Sage replied.

“But you liked it.” Rachel said with a cackle. Then she started to chant in a sing-song voice. “Sage has a boyfriend, Sage has a boyfriend!”

“Come here you.” Sage let go of Tracy's chair and lunged at Rachel, laughing as she did. Tracy started to roll backwards as Stacey caught the chair.

They all watched Sage chase her friend around the lawn, then tackle her and begin to tickle her. “Take it back.” Sage said as her fingers ran along Rachel's side. “Take it back.”

Rachel began laughing and shaking her head. “No, no, no.” Finally she started to screech and attempted to roll away. “Okay, okay. I take it back. I take it back.”

“And you'll never claim he's my boyfriend again?” Sage tickled her once more.

“Never. I'll be good.” Rachel said as she slowly caught her breath. The two girls join the rest of the group and they walked in silence, until Rachel laughed and said. “So, Sage, When's the wedding? Vance will make a wonderful husband.” She took off again.

“You little!” Sage followed her as the two ran for Rachel's front door.

Tracy looked to Brooke who was smiling. “Hey, is that normal?”

“Rachel just started it after they got back from visiting you.” Brooke said. “Does he really have a crush on her?”

“You have no idea.” Tracy replied.

“I think I do. Never saw a boy that willing to get that many drinks at dinner for anyone.” Brooke smiled. “But he seems nice.”

“For a boy, he can be.” Tracy nodded. “For a brother, he can be a pain in the ass at times.”

Tune in next time as Tracy begins to enjoy her time with the girls. It's always nice to get away from a pesky brother like Vance

Tracy thought about her situation for a moment, then looked at her friends. “Sage, can I talk to you and Rachel for a moment.”

“Sure, what's up?” Rachel asked.

“Alone? Please?” Tracy asked as she stood up.”

The other two girls followed her to her chair, then they wheeled her to the hall. “What's up?”

“You really think that they won’t mind about me?” Tracy's voice dropped to a whisper.

“Tracy, they won’t care. You should tell them, just because it'll help you relax.” Sage replied, just as quietly.

“You think so?”

“Yes. And if you want, we'll be right there with you.” Rachel said, smiling at her.

“Okay. Let's do it.” Tracy said, then she let them push her back into the living room.

A big thank you to Djkauf for the Editing.

Nothing too Earth shattering this time, just fun with the girls.

December 17th 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy was loving life. She was inside Rachel's house for a second time to have a sleepover with the girls. The week had already been planned in advance for her. Three bigger sleepovers were planned. One at Rachel’s, one at Brooke's and one at Sage's. Then there were two nights that she would spend with Stacey and her sister Casey, then a night with Brooke and one with Sage.

The living room of Rachel's house was littered with sleeping bags, pillows, soda cans, six girls and two wheelchairs. Rachel's sister Jamie was off on a ski trip with friends, so it left the house all to the six girls. Each of the girls had already put on their pajamas and were sitting at a card table playing Monopoly, while MTV played in the background. It had only been a short while since they had left the restaurant, but the girls changed quickly, so they could get to the fun part of the night.

Tracy had yet to tell the girls her secret, and she was still a bit worried about letting them in on it. A part of her felt bad for not telling them. In a sense she was lying to them. She knew it could be a lot worse if they found out on their own. But she was afraid to lose her friends so soon after getting more of them.

“So...” She started, wanting to test the waters. She knew that they were all aware of Sage, so she wanted to know how they treated her when they first met her. “How did you all meet?”

Sage chuckled. “Well, you know how Rachel and I met. Casey and Stacey are my cousins and I've known them all my life. I introduced them to Rachel when I was in the first grade.”

“I knew Sage from kindergarten, but I was mean back then. I was a total spoiled brat.” Brooke said. “One day I found out she was dressed as a boy and I teased her about it. I made fun of her for two years.”

“Really? Then how did you become friends?” Tracy asked, now more worried about Brooke hating her if she came out to them.

“I got into the accident that put me here.” Brooke replied. “I was miserable when I first was in this damn chair. The more I was in it, the more I hated it. I lost all of my friends that I had, just because I wasn't whole anymore. Both my leg and my spine are toast.” She pulled back a blanket and let Tracy see her left leg missing from just below the knee. She did her best not to cry, but a hand wiped at the tears that were about to form. She put the blanket back over her leg and continued her story. “I got worse. I hated everyone. Then Sage came back into my life.”

“Oh, that's when she became your friend?” Tracy asked.

“No. I was even worse to her. I started calling her an 'it', just because she couldn't make up her mind if she was a boy or a girl. I never bothered to see the Sage underneath.” Brooke sniffled and backed her chair up. “I'll be right back.” She said as she began wheeling out of the living-room. Stacey got up to follow her.

“Give her a minute.” Sage said to her cousin. Then she looked to Tracy. “I saw her being all miserable and feeling sorry for herself, so I went to talk to her. For a month straight I'd try to talk to her and she'd insult me. I'd go home and cry to my mom and she'd tell me to follow my heart. She said that if I felt I had to talk to Brooke, if I felt she really needed my friendship, that I would find a way. But every time I got near her, Brooke had started yelling and swearing at me when I approached her and then she started to tell everyone I was a boy in a dress.” Sage began to sniffle and tears formed in her eye.

Rachel handed her a box of Kleenex and looked to Tracy. “I wasn't in their school at the time. I moved near Sage a while later. But I heard her on the phone, or when we'd hang out, talking about Brooke. I told her to just let it drop, that she wasn't worth the trouble.”

“And she didn't.” Tracy answered.

“No, she kept pushing.” Rachel replied.

“About six months or so after her accident, I came up to her again and she started yelling and screaming and insults, so I lost it” More tears raced down her cheek and Sage stood up an walked out of the room, going the opposite way from Brooke.

It was quiet for several minutes, just the sounds of sniffling could be heard from either room, then Tracy looked at each of the doorways that both girls had gone through, then at Rachel. “Should we go talk to them?” She asked.

“Let them be.” Rachel replied. “They get this way when they talk about it. I think the insults hurt Sage more then she wants to admit and Brooke hates who she used to be.”

“That's true. I was pretty stuck up at the time.” Brooke's voice answered from the doorway. “I was a bitch. I took that one big thing about her and used it against her. And I was wrong.” She rolled herself into the doorway and stopped at the card-table. She took a deep breath before she continued the story. “One day in October I was at a mostly empty park. When I saw Sage coming, I started to throw the usual insults towards her and Sage just snapped. She said...what was that.....” Brooke lost in thought for a moment, then Sage's voice cut in.

“You no good little bitch. I may have extra parts, but I can get them removed.” Sage stepped into the room and kept her gaze on the floor. “But at least I'm not a friendless freak in a wheelchair who'll never walk again.” She sniffled again.

“I was there for that one.” Rachel stated. “We had just moved to this house a month earlier and I had just started school with them. Hell I tried with Sage to befriend Brooke, but she attacked my weight as well. I remember watching Sage lose her cool and scream, then she looked at Brooke and said. 'At least I am trying to be a friend. I know how it is when people attack you for no reason at all.'”

Sage nodded and Brooke did too. Rachel continued. “Sage stormed off and I walked over to Brooke. I was ready to pull her from that chair and beat the tar out of her. I remember grabbing her shirt and lifting her forward and screaming in her face. 'Look, you no good jerk, she's just trying to be a friend when you needed one. We've been nothing but nice to you because we want to and you treat us like crap. She's just trying to be a friend you no good, legless freak. Maybe you should just die and make the world a better place.'” As she said it, Rachel dipped her head in shame.

“The two of them were so pissed, but they hit on something that had gone through my mind. When I first got told I'd never walk again, I felt crushed. My mother and grandparents had me in classes for tap and ballet. Preforming was going to be my life.” Brooke's tears returned, but she continued. “I went home and crawled up the stairs to my room and sat at the window thinking how sucky my life was. Then I looked out to see my old friends, playing in the street and laughing. They saw me, but none of them ever talked to me anymore.”

“At school the next week, Sage and I were just sitting outside, having lunch when Brooke rolled up and apologized.” Rachel stated. “We were stunned at first, and she rolled off, but before she could get too far, we stopped her. It took a few months, but we became great friends. That was over three years ago.”

Brooke looked right at Tracy. When she spoke her tone was almost hallow and lifeless. “It's a good thing they caught up to me. I was going to go home and kill myself that day. But they offered to let me hang out with them. So I said yes.”

“No you didn't.” Sage said, hugging Brooke. “You said no and we made you come over.”

“Wow.” Tracy said.

A new video broke the tension in the room and Rachel turned to see the Go-Go's on the screen. “I love this song!”

“I saw this twice when I was in the hospital last week.” Tracy said.

“What did those ass-holes do to you?” Brooke asked her. “I know you got hurt and something about stitches, but what did they do?”

“They....um.” Tracy wasn't sure what they knew, or what she could tell them. “they beat me up.”

“Ah. Must have been bad.” Brooke said.

Tracy thought about her situation for a moment, then looked at her friends. “Sage, can I talk to you and Rachel for a moment.”

“Sure, what's up?” Rachel asked.

“Alone? Please?” Tracy asked as she stood up.”

The other two girls followed her to her chair, then they wheeled her to the hall. “What's up?”

“You really think that they won’t mind about me?” Tracy's voice dropped to a whisper.

“Tracy, they won’t care. You should tell them, just because it'll help you relax.” Sage replied, just as quietly.

“You think so?”

“Yes. And if you want, we'll be right there with you.” Rachel said, smiling at her.

“Okay. Let's do it.” Tracy said, then she let them push her back into the living room.

She noticed that Stacey and Casey were busying signing to each other and Brooke looked at Sage and smiled. “She's catching her sister up on what we talked about.”

“Cool.” Sage replied, then squeezed Tracy's shoulders, bent down and whispered. “Go for it, we're right here with you.”

Tracy's stomach began to fill with butterflies and the feeling that she was going to puke came on strong. Brooke noticed and leaned over. “Hey. You okay?”

Tracy didn't answer, but Rachel leaned down and whispered. “You want us to tell them?”

“Please.” She whispered back. They needed to know, at least she thought they did, but she didn't have it in her to tell them.

“Hey, Tracy has something she wants to share with you guys, but she's scared.” Rachel stated, catching Stacey's attention. Sage began to translate for her cousin.

“What is it?” Brooke asked. “We're all friends here, right?”

Rachel looked to Tracy and put a hand on her shoulder. “You sure?” She didn't verbally reply, but she gave a slight nod. Her gaze fell to her lap. “Can I tell them everything? Including the attack?” Tracy nodded again, and tears fell into her lap

Before she continued, Rachel bent down and kissed Tracy's cheek. As she stood up, she noticed all eyes were on her. “Tracy isn't what she seems. I've known her since she was about six. But I didn't know her as Tracy. Back then she was Troy. She was born male.” Tracy didn't look up, but the room had gone quiet. Rachel continued. “She felt you needed to know, because you're spending the night with her.”

“So she's like Sage?” Brooke asked."I would have never guessed."

“No. She's different.” Rachel replied. “Sage has both sets of parts. Tracy has a boy's body, but the mind of a girl. You've all seen her so far tonight, she's not a boy in a skirt. She's a girl, her body just isn't right. And that's why she's afraid.”

Brooke rolled closer and put a hand on Tracy's knee. “Hey. I'm cool with Sage, so don't worry about me making fun of you. You say you’re a girl, that's all I need.”

Stacey got up and moved to the front of the wheelchair and dropped to her knees. “We're okay with Sage, we'll be just fine with you.”

Casey got up and was still signing with Sage. She stopped by the wheelchair and smiled at Tracy, before putting a hand on her good hand. Sage tapped Tracy's shoulder. “Casey said that she doesn't care. If I trust you, that's all she needs.”

“There is more.” Rachel said. This caused all the girls but Casey to look up. Sage got her attention and began translating as Rachel spoke.

“She came here after Thanksgiving. She got suspended from school for fighting. It wasn't a fight, but you know school rules. She found a kid stealing in a class and him and a friend tried to beat her up on school grounds. I had heard about Tracy though my Aunt and knew that she finally made a choice. See I had talked to her years ago when she said she was a girl and I messed it up there. After hanging out with us, she went home. I sent a lot of my older clothes with her. One day she was walking around in a skirt that I had sent down, on her parent's property and she was found by the kid that she caught stealing. From what I've heard, he was going to beat her up for telling on him. But when he saw the skirt, he tried something different.” She looked at each girl for a moment. “He tried to rape her.” There was a gasp from Stacey and Brooke.

Tracy began to cry as she recalled that day. Rachel put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “She managed to get loose, but they chased her and attacked her. They destroyed her...her testicle” Rachel's cheeks turned a bright red, but she continued. “broke a couple of ribs and sprained her wrist. The doctors had to remove the damaged...um...boy part. Last week, some asshole tripped her and she tore the stitches out.”

Tracy had begun to sob and Sage stopped her translation and pulled Tracy out of the room, leaving Stacey to continue translating the story. Sage stopped at a bathroom and she had Tracy get out of her chair. “Come on, let's clean you up.”

~o~O~o~

December 18th 1982

It was just around three AM when the scream shattered the peaceful slumber party. Tracy woke up, thrashing about in her sleeping bag. Sage and Rachel had started the evening near her, just in case this had happened. Rachel, being the bigger of the two, lay over her legs, to keep her from pulling out more stitches, then Sage lay against her and began talking to her. “Wake up, Tracy.”

When she noticed that Tracy had awakened, she opened the side of the sleeping bag slightly and slid in, wrapping her arms around her friend. Rachel slowly got up as Stacey and Brooke began looking at them. There was running down the hall and a hand slapped the light, temporally blinding all six girls. Rachel put a hand over her eyes and waited for them to get used to the light. She saw her Dad standing over them, concern on his face. “What happened?”

“She had her nightmare.” Rachel replied. Maggie had taken the time to explain to all the parents about her nightmares, so he nodded and went over to the girl.

“You okay, little lady?” He asked.

Tracy kept her back to Sage and just nodded. “Yeah. Sorry I woke you.”

“Don't be sorry, sweetheart.” He stood up and Brooke tugged at his ankle.

“Hey, while you’re here, could I get a lift to the bathroom?”

“Sure thing.” He smiled and lifted her up and into his arms.

As they left, Stacey moved over to them. “What's her nightmare about?”

Rachel didn't speak aloud, she just mouthed the words, “Bruce. Rape.”

Stacey nodded and sat down Indian style. “Anything we can do?”

“I'm doing it.” Sage replied. “Holding her till she feels better and falls asleep.” Inside the sleeping bag, Tracy had buried her head and was weeping.

“I got an idea.” Rachel said and she began to open up the sleeping bag all the way. She uncovered Sage and Tracy, then she moved to Sage's sleeping bag and opened that up and placed it over both girls.

Stacey watched Rachel work and let out a shriek when a hand touched her shoulder. She turned to see her sister looking at her, then she pointed to the other girls and began signing. Stacey moved to where she could reply to her sister.

“Tracy?” Stacey put a hand on her shoulder. “Casey says she’s sorry you have bad dreams.”

Between the tears, Tracy whispered out. “Thank you.”

Rachel held up one corner of the sleeping bag on Tracy's other side. “Space for one more.” She said gesturing to the open space. The two sisters looked at each other, Stacey quickly signing to her sister. Then Casey went over and slid under the covers. Sage moved Tracy over to get her backside under the sleeping bag.

“Come on, Tracy. You're with friends now. Nothing will hurt you tonight.” Sage said softly to her friend as she brushed some of the hair back from her eyes. “No one is going to get you here.”

~o~O~o~

The morning came and Tracy found herself still being held on both sides. She opened her eyes to see the white stripe in Casey's hair. She turned her head just enough to see Stacey behind her now.

Casey gave a groan and her eyes opened. She smiled at Tracy, then sat up and slid out from under the sleeping bag. Tracy rolled over and seen that Stacey was looking at her.

“Hey, you feeling better?” Stacey asked.

“A little.” Tracy replied.

“Good. Rachel's mom is making breakfast. Brooke and Rachel got up with Sage a little bit ago.” Stacey said as she slid out from under the covers. “Come on, I think the downstairs bathroom is open if you need it.” She offered a hand to Tracy.

As Tracy stood up, she looked to her wheelchair, then decided to just walk to the bathroom. She was halfway out of the living room when she heard Sage's voice call out to her. “This better count as one of your walks for the day.”

“Yes, mother.” Tracy grumbled.

Sage walked out of the kitchen and went over to her. “Tracy, I am not your mother, but I don't want to see you in the hospital. We have you for a week and I promised that we'd watch you, or we don't get to see you at all during the summer.”

“Who...who made you promise that?”

“Your mother and father.” Sage replied.

“Oh.” Tracy answered. Her parents had used that argument already, so she decided to be a good little girl at that point. They would have two months of fun if they could plan it right.

“We've been thinking of some plans that include you for the summer. Hell, we're thinking of stuff for Easter vacation, too. Don't make us lose you for that.” Sage replied, sadness in her eyes.

Tracy didn't know about the plans, not yet at least. But she did know that she wanted in on them. “Okay, I'll be good.”

“Go on. Breakfast will be ready soon, then you can hit the showers.” Sage said as she went back to the kitchen.

~o~O~o~

An hour later, Tracy found herself at the kitchen table with Sage, Rachel, Brooke and Stacey. Casey was in the shower. Tracy sat back in her seat, glad it wasn't the wheelchair. “So, what are we doing today?”

“Well tonight you're at my place.” Sage replied. “Everyone has something going on either tomorrow or tonight.”

“I've got church tomorrow and we're seeing my Dad's grandparent's tonight. But you get me Sunday night.” Rachel said.

“Casey and I are going to my Dad's family's house. But we'll see you tomorrow night too.” Stacey stated before taking a drink of orange juice.

“I've got a game tonight.” Brooke replied.

“A game? What do you play?” Tracy asked. She hadn't figured that Brooke didn't do much more then sit in the chair and hang with friends.

“Basketball.”

“You can....” Tracy blinked a couple of times. “You can play basketball? I thought you couldn't walk?”

“I can't, but there is a youth wheelchair basketball league. I'm a part of that.” Brooke smiled. “I also fence and I'm a good shot with a rifle. I want to get into archery too.”

“You can do all that?” Tracy was stunned.

Brooke nodded. “Remember what I said on the phone the first time we talked? Don't make the wheelchair your identity?” Tracy thought about it and nodded. “Well, when I couldn't walk I thought that all I'd be was this pitiful girl in the chair, then someone took me to a wheelchair basketball game.”

“Your mother?” Tracy guessed.

“Nope, Sage.” Brooke replied and Sage smiled. “She found a lot of sports that people in wheelchairs could do. I can't dance anymore, but I have other skills. I'm pretty wicked at fencing and I'm center for my basketball team.”

“Cool.” Tracy said.

Casey walked into the kitchen, her hair wrapped into a towel. She pointed to Sage, then pointed up. Sage got up and went to the living room and grabbed a bag. Stacey looked to Tracy shrugged. “Trust me, I'd love for you to hang out with us tonight, but the parents said no.”

“What do you do?” Stacey asked Tracy.

“I like to cook. I also do Tai Chi. I want to learn Wing Chun too. Other than that I read.” Tracy said with a shrug. “I'm not a big athlete.”

“That's a lie.” Brooke replied. “Kung Fu is like a sport, too. Don't think you're not an athlete.”

“But I'm nothing like you.” Tracy stated.

“True, but if we were all alike, this could be a boring friendship.” Brooke smiled at her.

A moment later there was the sound of the shower from upstairs. Rachel leaned across the table an dropped her voice. “Okay, I know they know, but Monday, we're planning a birthday party for Sage. Just thought you'd want to know. Her real birthday is
Tuesday, but she's going to be with family. I have something going on, so you'll be with Brooke on Tuesday.”

“Oh. Cool.” Tracy replied, and she looked to the table and began thinking.

“What's wrong?” Rachel asked.

“I didn't know. I didn't get her anything.” Tracy stated.

“Oh. Well, we're hitting the mall on Sunday. We can get something then.” Rachel sat back in her seat.

“Good.” Tracy replied. She didn't have a lot of money, but Sage had been there for her so far. “I may need help in picking something out.”

“We can do that.” Rachel said with a nod. From upstairs they heard the shower stop. “But don't say a word to her. We want to make her think we forgot.”

“I'll try.” Tracy replied.

~o~O~o~

That afternoon Sage pushed Tracy down the sidewalk to her house. The rest of the girls had taken off with their families. “Well, what do you think of them?”

“They're all cool.” Tracy replied.

“I thought you'd think so.” Sage was quiet for a moment as she headed into the trailer park she lived in. It was a cooler day and both girls had on windbreakers as they made their way to Sage's house. They reached the house and Tracy got out of the chair and made her way up the steps. “Go ahead and go in.”

Tracy stepped in and watched as Sage folded up the wheelchair and pulled it up the steps. She went in and was greeted by Persephone. “Hello, young lady.”

“Hello.” Tracy smiled at her.

“You feeling better yet?” Persephone led her to the kitchen as Sage came into the house.

“A little. I'm still a bit sore down there.” Tracy replied.

“Yeah, that's to be expected. Have a seat.” Persephone went to the fridge as Tracy took a seat. “You thirsty? Hungry maybe?”

“Could I have a soda?” Tracy asked.

“Only a clear soda.” Persephone replied. “Your mother already let us know about your diet restrictions.”

“Awwww.” Tracy grumbled. “I just want a grape soda.”

“Next week.” Persephone stated. “Then you can have what you want.”

Sage pushed the wheelchair into the kitchen and opened it up. “Hey Mom.”

“Baby. You got a plan for tonight?” Her mother asked.

“Just hanging out. Maybe a board game? Something that Romy can play with too?” Sage shrugged as she pulled out a chair and sat down.

“That sounds good. Your brother is out of town with your father for the night. So it's just us girls.”

“Groovy.” Sage smiled brightly. “This is gonna be fun.”

~o~O~o~

It was growing late when Sage carried her younger sister to bed. All three had changed into pajamas early in the evening. Tracy slowly walked behind them. She sat on Sage's bed as her friend tucked the young girl into bed.

Sage placed a stuffed bear into her sisters arms, then went and sat down next to Tracy. “Well, she's out fast.” Tracy said as the little girl began to snore.

“Yeah.” Sage said. “So, you want a sleeping bag? Or you just wanna share my bed?”

Tracy felt a little odd about sharing someone's bed. But the past few times that she had bad dreams, she had felt better when someone held her. So she took a wild leap of faith. She was hoping that having someone hold her would keep the bad dreams away.

“Could I share with you?” She asked, blushing as she said it. “Please?”

Sage pulled her into a hug. “Of course you can.”

“Thank you Sage.” Tracy said as she leaned into the hug.

There's more to come with Tracy's visit to the Bay area, stay turned next time for fun at the mall.

Tracy was silent for a moment, then she sighed. She didn't want to leave it like that. She was almost in the same boat as Sage. Guilt was welling up for the yelling and her actions. “It's okay.” Her voice cracked slightly. “Sage?”

Sage stopped, her hand on the door knob. “Yeah?”

“Sorry I yelled.” Tracy shut off the water and peeled back the curtain just enough to show her face. I...you mean well with it...I just didn't want.....”

Sage shut the door as Tracy let the curtain fall back in place. She could hear her friend start to cry. She walked in and grabbed a towel for her. “You didn't want someone to see you like you are?” She guessed.

“Yeah.” Tracy answered through the tears. “The past few months I've grown to hate that damn thing.”

“I know. That's how I've felt about mine for a while, too.” The crying began to get worse. Sage waited a moment, then she spoke again, her voice soft and full of concern. “Do you trust me? I won't do anything to hurt you.”

Thanks to Djkauf for the editing.

In this episode....Tracy is discovered

December 19th 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy awoke to the feel of Sage in her arms. Her arm lay over Sage's side and her chest was pressed against the redhead's back She let out a deep breath coupled with a yawn. Sage began to shift in the bed and rolled over to face her. She put an arm over Tracy and smiled warmly at her. “Morning. Sleep better?”

Tracy nodded as best as she could. “Yeah. I don't recall any dreams.”

“Good. But we should get up now.” Sage said as she lay there.

“Why?” Tracy asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“'Romy got up an hour ago and she's been in here almost every ten minutes waiting for you to wake up.” Sage stated.

“Why? Why is she waiting for me?” Tracy asked.

“You played a game with her yesterday.” Sage replied as though Tracy should have known the answer all along. “She's hopeful it will happen again. Plus when we take off today, she gets to come with us till we get dropped off at Stacey and Casey's.”

“Oh.” Tracy stated. “What's going on today?”

“We're hitting the mall today. I figured I'd go with you to my cousins place. Hey, you got good mall clothes?” Sage asked.

“I'll just wear a skirt. Pants still hurt to wear. The stupid stitches hurt like hell in pants.” Tracy stated.

“I bet.” Sage replied with a nod.

Tracy tried to keep her eyes on Sage, but her gaze went to the pillow. “Hey, now that we're alone, could I ask some questions? I've wanted to ask them for a while, but I'm always a bit nervous in front of Rachel and you're the only one I know that's like me.”

“Sure. Well it depends on the questions if I'll answer, but ask away.” Sage replied.

Tracy blushed as she thought about the question she had. “How do you wear pants without it showing?”

“It? What showing?” Sage asked, lifting her head as though she'd get to see Tracy's face better. Tracy turned her head so one eye looked at her friend. She glared as best as she could. Her arm moved from between then and she pointed down to her crotch.

“It” Tracy said.

“Oh...OH” Comprehension hit Sage's face. “You haven't learned to tuck yet? I thought you knew that.”

“Tuck?” Tracy asked, as an eyebrow raised up.

“You know....” She raised up on to an elbow and she gave Tracy a look of disbelief. “You take your....your thing and put it between your legs.” Sage's cheeks turned as red as her hair. “There's tricks to keep it there after you put it there too.”

“Really?” Tracy's cheeks began to match Sage's. “Could you show me later?”

Without thinking, the redhead replied. “Yeah. But with your stitches, you may have to wait on tucking. I luck out because it's not that big. Speaking about skirts, have you ever shaved your legs before?” Sage asked.

“Um...yes, once. The day we went home from here after Thanksgiving.” Tracy raised up on an elbow to match her friend. “Why do you ask?”

Sage smiled. “Just making sure of what hasn't been covered. It took mom a while to show me and I didn't know if you were having the same problem with your mother. But then my mom is a hippy.”

“No...” Tracy lay on her back and tried to shrug. “It was weird. That was something that Mom wanted to show me. I think she's really loving this whole daughter thing.”

“I've noticed that moms an dads are like that. They want a child that they can give their secrets to. Dad's want that boy to take fishing and throw the football with. Mom's need that little girl who wants to cook, sew and wear a beautiful wedding dress someday.” Sage lay on her back as well.

“Yeah.” Tracy replied.

The door to the bedroom opened up and Andromeda came in and looked at the two girls on the bed. Once she saw that they were awake, she began climbing onto the bed. As she got closer, her smile brightened and she lay down between Sage and Tracy. “Wet's pway” The little girl called out.

Tracy still hadn't gotten used to the girls mangled form of the English language, but it didn't slow Sage down. “No. First breakfast, then we play, then a shower.”

“I took bath yest'day” The little girl put out her lower lip. “I wanna pway now.”

Sage sat up and tried to look as mean as she could. “Well then, eat first, then shower, then mall. Then....maybe you and I can play a game.”

“But you gotta go with her.” 'Romy pouted, pointing at Tracy.

“Maybe.” Sage replied. “Who knows where we'll go to today.”

“Oh.” The wind seemed to go straight out of Andromeda's sails, for half a second, then she looked at her sister. “But can we pway a game before we go to the maw?”

~o~O~o~

Tracy was enjoying the hot water of the shower on her back. Two weeks of sponge baths had started to annoy her. She had done her best to stand in the same spot, for fear of falling and pulling out more stitches. She turned to shut off the water. Her elbow hit a bottle of shampoo that sat on a tiny shelf. At first she tried to grab at the bottle, but she stopped herself and lifted her foot out of the way instead.

The plastic bottle hit with a loud crash in the tub. Seconds later the bathroom door was flung open and someone ran in. “Tracy!” Sage called out, then she pulled the curtain back to see her friend still standing. “Oh thank god.” Sage breathed a sigh of relief.

Tracy just stood there, slightly shocked that Sage had showed up so fast. Both girls began to blush as they realized that Tracy was still naked. Tracy shrieked and grabbed at the curtain and flung it back in front of her. She got mad and screamed. “What are you doing!” It wasn't that she was naked that bothered her. But a part of her was ashamed that someone seen her in this body, with that thing between her legs. The more she was Tracy, the more that bugged her.

Persephone appeared in the doorway and looked at the figure behind the curtain and her daughter. “Everything okay in here?”

“Yes.” Tracy's slightly angry voice called out. Inside the shower she stood there, one arm over her chest, one over her crotch, even though she was blocked by the curtain. “I just knocked a bottle of shampoo off the wall.”

“Okay. Just take it easy sweetie. We don't need you falling in there.” Persephone replied.

“I'll be better. Not going to pick the bottle up though.” Tracy stated, but she hid the annoyance she felt by being babied again.

“No, just leave it there.” She looked to her daughter. “Come on Sage, give her some privacy.”

Sage turned as her mother walked out of the bathroom. “Sorry for bursting in.....and the curtain thing. I just thought you had fallen.”

Tracy was silent for a moment, then she sighed. She didn't want to leave it like that. She was almost in the same boat as Sage. Guilt was welling up for the yelling and her actions. “It's okay.” Her voice cracked slightly. “Sage?”

Sage stopped, her hand on the door knob. “Yeah?”

“Sorry I yelled.” Tracy shut off the water and peeled back the curtain just enough to show her face. I...you meant well with it...I just didn't want.....”

Sage shut the door as Tracy let the curtain fall back in place. She could hear her friend start to cry. She walked in and grabbed a towel for her. “You didn't want someone to see you like you are?” She guessed.

“Yeah.” Tracy answered through the tears. “The past few months I've grown to hate that damn thing.”

“I know. That's how I've felt about mine for a while, too.” The crying began to get worse. Sage waited a moment, then she spoke again, her voice soft and full of concern. “Do you trust me? I won't do anything to hurt you.”

Tracy nodded, but her friend couldn't see that. “Yeah.” She finally replied.

Sage slowly opened up the curtain, yet kept her attention towards the nearby wall and then shut her eyes. She took the towel and opened it up and held it out for Tracy. “Come here.”

Tracy stood there for a moment, blocking her body with her arms once again, then she stepped into the towel. Sage took a step back as she stepped out of the tub. Then when she was on the shower mat, Sage fixed the towel around her and turned to look her in the eyes. “It's gonna be okay.” Sage pulled her into a hug, one that Tracy didn't fight.

Tracy put her arms around Sage and rested her head on the redhead's shoulder. “Why was I born this way?”

“I don't know.” Sage replied, hugging her tight. She had asked herself the same question for years and was still waiting on an answer. “I just don't know.”

~o~O~o~

The girls were all dropped off at the mall by their mothers. Sage had offered the chance to not go, after Tracy's breakdown in the bathroom, but Tracy wanted to hang out with her new friends. She needed to be herself and with her friends. Being Tracy was the highlight of her life and she didn't want to miss it.

Tracy had hitched a ride with Persephone, who was elsewhere, opting to let the girls have some space. Tracy was in her wheelchair with Stacey pushing her. She had been worried about being in the wheelchair out in public, but being around Brooke made her feel better about it. Plus it had been pointed out that in the wheelchair she'd be less likely to be pushed over and hurt.

So the six girls spent the next two hours going from shop to shop. Much of their time was spend in the music store and any good clothing store. After the shopping and with purchases in hand, they headed for the food court, unaware that they had been watched for most of the time that they were in the mall. Stacey and Sage moved two tables together so all six of them could sit together. They pushed two of the chairs out of the way and let Brooke and Tracy roll up, one on each end of the sets of tables. Rachel, Sage and Stacey went for the food while Brooke took over the signing with Casey. “So what do you think of this?” Brooke asked.

“This...food court?” Tracy looked around the room. “Pretty cool. Our closest mall doesn't have one yet.”

“I like it, 'cause that means I don't have to wheel all over the parking lot for a place to eat.” Brooke replied.

Rachel Sage and Stacey came back with three trays of food and put them on the tables. The six girls tore into the food, while the sounds of Christmas music played about them. They began to watch the crowds go past. After twenty minutes of just eating and watching Tracy looked to a large clock on a nearby wall. “Hey, it's almost three.”

“That's cool. We should be meeting with our mothers soon.” Rachel said. The girls all stood up and Stacey took care of the trash as Sage began pushing Tracy towards the exit.

“Maybe we should just call this a sleepover night? I mean none of us have anything going on tonight.” Stacey suggested as she caught up with the group.

“Yeah, I'm all for it.” Brooke replied.

“I don't have anything planned.” Rachel replied.

“I think all of our parents were expecting this anyway.” Sage stated. “Let's go call them.”

“Good idea.” Rachel turned around and led the way to the pay phones. Tracy sat to the side with Casey while Sage, Stacey, Rachel and Brooke made their calls. When they were done, they headed for the main door of the mall again.

“Hey, how did your game go last night?” Tracy asked.

Brooke chuckled. “We lost by two points, but it was a great game. Got one hell of a workout.”

“Awesome.” Tracy smiled at her as reached the door and stepped outside to wait for their ride. The six girls sat there, waiting for Sage's mother to show up. They began discussing recent music videos and lost track of the time till a voice called out to them.

“Hey!” Two girls walked over and Sage and Rachel's jaws dropped. Tracy turned in her chair and her heart tried to stop.

Rachel looked at the two girls as they got closer. She didn't know how they got there, but it could only go bad for her friend. “Mary Beth, right? And Emily May?”

“That's us.” Mary Beth said as they stopped just in front of the group. “I was gonna call you and see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow, but I left your number at home.”

“That's okay.” Rachel replied. Her mind was racing, trying to think of a way to get Tracy out of there.

“Hi.” Mary Beth said to Sage. I thought you were going to Vermont?

“That got canceled.” Sage said. “They decided to come out here after Christmas.”

“Oh, cool.” Mary Beth said.

“Not really, I was looking forward to the snow.” Stacey stated.

“You're sisters?” Mary Beth said, looking between Sage and Stacey.

Stacey chuckled. “Nope. She's my cousin. My mom and her mom are sisters, Uncle Joey is their brother.” She pointed to the girl with the white streak in her black hair. “This is my sister, Casey. I'm Stacey.”

“Hi.” Mary Beth's eyes fell on Tracy. She knew his face, mostly because of the bruise that was slowly going away on his right cheek and the wrist in the brace. She thought back to the conversation she had overheard between Peter and Troy and it all fell into place. Her mouth began moving before her brain could filter anything out. “And you're Tracy.” Her lips pulled into a smile, not a mean or feral one, but a warm and friendly grin.

“You...you know?” Tracy stammered. Sage and Rachel only barley held their shock. Her heart began to pound and she knew she was up the creek. Everyone at school was going to know and she'd be dead when school started.

Emily looked to her sister, eyebrow raised. “Who is Tracy?” She asked.

“She is.” Mary Beth replied, gesturing to Tracy.

“So...um, how do you know her?” Emily May asked. She had been wondering why her sister was following the girls all afternoon, and it still made no sense.

“You know her, too.” Mary Beth replied.

“I do?” Emily looked at the girl in the wheelchair and it hit her. “Troy?!?” Tears began to run down Tracy's face and she bent over in her seat.

“Not so loud!” Sage moved around the wheelchair and stood in front of the two sisters. “Are you two that stupid? Do you want her to get hurt?”

“Okay...What's going on?” Brooke asked, deeply confused by the two new girls.

“These two go to school with Troy.” Rachel replied.

“Oh shit.” Brooke answered. “They didn't know?”

“Stacey, can you get Tracy away from here for a moment, I wanna talk to these two.” Sage said, holding in her anger as best as she could as she stood there.

“Sure.” Stacey replied as she grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed Tracy down the sidewalk.

“You can't just go yelling out names like that. Do you want her to be hurt?!?” Sage snapped at the sisters.

“I didn't mean to, I was just shocked.” Emily looked and sounded like a scolded child.

“If the wrong type person heard that, there could be a big problem.” Sage glared at Mary Beth. “How did you find out?!?”

“I heard Peter call him that at school. And I know he was wearing a skirt at the hospital.” Mary Beth began to imitate her sister, both of them seeming to shrink in size next to Sage. “I didn't mean to hurt her feelings or anything. I wanted to ask her about it for a week or so now, but she got hurt at school again and I tried at the hospital, but I had to leave.”

“Ever think that maybe this is something she wanted to keep hidden?!?” Sage half yelled as she stepped forward.

Rachel looked around and saw a few adults looking their way. She put a hand on her friends shoulder and stepped up to her side. “Sage, people are watching.” Sage glared at her and she didn't flinch. “For Tracy's sake. Tone. It. Down.” She spoke each word clearly and just glared at her friend.

Sage took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Rachel looked to the two sisters. “Why did you come up to us out here? Trying to ruin her day? Make fun of her?”

“Troy seems like..” Mary Beth started, but was cut off by Rachel, Brooke and Sage.

“Tracy.” All three said.

“What?” Mary Beth asked.

“Look down there.” Rachel said. “There is no Troy today, just Tracy. Don't use the words he, him, his or Troy around her, it's rude.”

“Oh.” Mary Beth blinked a couple of times. She waited a moment, till Sage made a rolling hand gesture, telling her to get on with the story. “He...She's always been a nice person, but I was always stuck in my group of friends. The few times we've worked on projects for class together, she's always been helpful. Then after he..she got attacked I felt bad because I had never been nice to him. Plus I was curious about the skirt. I know what I saw at the hospital.”

Mary Beth looked past them to where Stacey was on one knee and hugging Tracy. “I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, It's just that after seeing her hanging out with you, I thought she'd want to hang out with us back home too. I got a lot of girl friends that go to school with us, she could be a part of our group.. She seems like she's really fun to be around.”

“She is, but she's also fragile.” Sage replied.

“So what is she?” Emily asked, not realizing how rude the statement was. Sage, Rachel and Brooke all leveled their gazes onto the older girl. And if looks could have killed, she would have been a greasy smear on the sidewalk.

“She's a girl.” Sage hissed at her.

“But Troy is a boy.” Emily May replied.

“Yes. And Tracy is how she should have been born.” Sage held up a hand to stop other questions. “Look, can we talk about this elsewhere? This isn't something that everyone should hear.”

Emily shrugged. “Sure, I guess.”

“Can...” Mary Beth looked to her feet an sighed. “Could we tell her we're sorry? Please?”

“Let me ask her. Stay here.” Sage didn't wait for a response, she turned and walked to where her cousin was. Her mind was working on a way to calm both Tracy down and figure out what to do with those girls.

Stacey was on one knee, holding Tracy's shoulder when Sage walked up. She started to drop to her knees and Stacey moved out of the way. “Tracy?” Sage spoke quietly, in a very comforting tone.

“What?” She asked before she sniffled.

“You okay?” Sage asked.

“My life is ruined.” Tracy began to cry again. Sage leaned forward and Tracy wrapped her arms around her friend.

“You're life isn't ruined. They want to apologize for what they've done.”

“I-it d-doesn't m-ma-matter.” Tracy sobbed out. “T-the sch-school...they'll te-tell everyone.”

“Let it out.” Sage patted her back as an idea popped into her mind. “But I think we can show them how that would be a mistake.”

“H-how.” Tracy sobbed out.

Sage moved Tracy's head so she could see in her eyes. “You'll have to trust me.” She said. “But we'll tell them everything. Including Bruce.”

“Why?” Tracy wiped at her eyes with her good hand.

“To show them what will happen when someone finds out.” Sage replied. But telling the story was only a part of her plan.

“O-okay.” Tracy sniffled. “She k-keeps as-asking 'bout it.”

“So we tell them.” Sage wiped a tear off her cheek. “But they want to talk to you. Can they?” Tracy nodded and Sage looked over to Rachel and gestured for them to come over. “Be strong. Rachel and I won't let them hurt you.”

“Okay.” She replied as Mary Beth and her sister slowly walked over with Rachel, Brooke and Casey.

Sage got up as Stacey turned her wheelchair around. Both Mary Beth and her sister couldn't look Tracy in the face. Tracy sat there while her classmate slowly made circles on the pavement with her shoe. “Um...Tracy? I'm sorry for embarrassing you out here. It was stupid to follow you out here, I just wanted to...I thought that maybe you'd want to hang out, I didn't mean to upset you.”

“Yeah...” Emily May managed to look up for a moment, then she looked back to the ground again. “Sorry for calling you the wrong name.”

“You didn't know.” Tracy replied. “It's okay.” She wiped at her eyes once more.

The sounds of Persephone's VW bus pulled Sage's attention from the girls for a moment. She pulled her cousin aside and began whispering.

As the bus pulled in a handicapped parking spot, Sage looked back to the two girls. “Who are you staying with?” Sage asked.

“Our Aunt.” Mary Beth replied.

“She live in Livermore?” All eight of the girls began going over to the parked van. Half a second later a blue ford pulled up and parked near the Van.

“No, Dublin.” Emily answered, “Why?”

“Even better. I was wondering if she'd let you come over to my Cousin's place for a sleepover.” Lilian got out of the car and went to the bus and slid the door open as Brooke and Casey got near. “Aunt Lillian! Mom! I gotta talk to you!” Sage called out an went over to her. From inside the bus, they could see 'Romy waving at all of them.

While Sage was talking to her mother and Aunt, Mary Beth tried to smile at Tracy. “I am sorry for being mean. But you are really pretty like that.”

“Thank you.” Tracy replied.

A horn sounded and Emily May looked to the lot, then tapped her sister on the shoulder. “Hey, we should get going, our Aunt is here.”

Sage ran back over. “Hold on a minute. Can we see if you can come over?”

“Sure I guess.” Mary Beth shrugged.

“You'd want to spend time with us? After how we treated Tracy?” Emily May asked.

“Yes. You need to meet the real Tracy. And a sleepover is just the thing.” Sage said and that caused Rachel to look at her. “Mom, could you lend me a hand?”

Persephone nodded. Sage pushed the wheelchair over to a black station wagon, with Stacey, Casey and Rachel in tow. Mary Beth smiled and waved at the lady who had just parked when they got close. “Hi, Aunt Jill.”

“Hello young lady. Who are your friends?” The woman stayed in her car, but blinked in surprise at Sage. “Sage....Sage Miller”

Sage's smile brightened. “Mrs. Conley!!”

“How are you doing young...” Jill did a quick scan of what Sage was wearing, then she looked at the girl. “lady?”

“Great. Just great.” At this point the other girls were all confused.

“Um, Sage, who is this?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah, how do you know our Aunt.” Mary Beth looked between the girl and her aunt.

Sage smiled. “She's the receptionists at my therapist.”

“Wow.” Emily May said.

“It sure is a small world.” Jill said as she got out of her car and gave Sage a hug. “So how did you meet my nieces?”

“Actually, they go to school with my friend, Tracy.” Sage put a hand on Tracy's shoulder.

“Oh.” Jill looked at Tracy and nodded. “It is a small world then.”

“We were wondering if we could invite them over to our place for a sleepover....Well my cousin's place, but I think you've met my Aunt Lilian before.”

At this point the two women had come over to see what was going on. “Ah, yes, I remember. Hello Lilian, hello Persephone. I take it you're aware what she's asking?”

“To have the girls spend the night with them?” Lilian asked.

“And you're okay with it?” Jill asked.

“I think so. I mean Tracy has had a bad couple of weeks, so the more friends the better, right?” Lillian replied. Persephone leaned in and whispered into Sage's ear, who just nodded.

“There is something else.” Sage said. “But can I talk to you alone about it? Well, you and Tracy? It does concern her.”

“Come on girls, let's give them some space.” Persephone led Rachel, Casey and Stacey away from the others. Sage began to push Tracy away from the car, with the older lady following. When they got halfway down the lot, she stopped and looked to Jill.

“Ma'am, Tracy is almost like me. She was born into a boy's body.” Sage started off.

“I see. But you can't really tell that.” Jill replied after looking at Tracy very closely.

“At the start of the month she was attacked, badly. Your nieces found out about her and Tracy is worried that they'll spread the fact she's here in a dress at school.” Sage stated. “We don't really know how they heard, but Mary Beth said she heard it from a friend. We want to make sure they understand the dangers that Tracy faces if they tell their friends what they saw.”

“I could talk to them if you want.” Jill stated.

“True. But if we do that, then they think Tracy is either stuck up or something. They know and that makes them a danger to Tracy. But if we tell them what happened to her and show them something. Then, maybe then they'll see what could happen.”

“Like what?” Jill asked.

Sage looked at Tracy, then she went around the wheelchair and raised up and whispered into the old lady's ear. After a few moments she stopped and Jill just gasped. “Oh, I see.”

“See, this is why we want to talk to them. Plus if they get the chance to hang out with Tracy here, they may not bug her at school and possibly slip around other people.” Sage stated.

“That makes sense.” Jill nodded slowly. “When? Tonight?”

“If it's okay? We're all going to be at my cousin's place tonight.” Sage replied.

“Let me talk to your Aunt and mother and I'll let you know, okay?” Jill said.

“Okay.” Sage pushed Tracy back to her mother and Aunt. “She wants to talk to you. I'll help Tracy get in the bus.”

“Thanks sweetheart.”

“Come on Tracy.” Sage said. “Let's get set to go.”

Tracy was silent till they reached the van. Then as she began to get up, with Rachel's help, she stopped and looked to Sage. “Think this is a good idea?”

“I don't know. They know about you already. But we can talk to them and tell them why it needs to be kept a secret. Plus this way, like I told Mrs. Conley, they may not bug you to hang out when you're at home.”

“God, I hope so. I doubt their Dad will understand.” Tracy replied.

Will it end well? Or is the end nigh?

“Yeah.” Mary Beth smiled. Then she looked to Tracy. “Is h..she okay?” She remembered the lecture about using the right words in time.

All the girls looked to see Tracy shaking in fear. The young girl knew her secret was going to get out. The school would know by time she got back. Sage leaned over and put a hand on Tracy's. “Hey, you okay.”

“No.” She whimpered.

Sage got up and moved to her side. “Tracy, trust me. They won’t harm you here.” She glared over her shoulder to the two girls. “And they won't talk about meeting you at school, will they?”

Both Mary Beth and her sister looked a little worried at the intensity of Sage's glare. “No.” Mary Beth said.

Thanks to Djkauf for the editing.

Please note, but to the almost graphic nature of this post, I upped the rating. I promise the fun stuff shall return someday.

December 19th 1982
Livermore CA

Persephone's bus pulled into a driveway, just behind Lillian’s car and the unloading of six pre-teens, one child and two wheelchairs began. Sage pulled up Tracy's wheelchair and they waited while she slowly got out of the bus, then Sage pushed it away. Behind them Rachel brought up Brooke's chair, leaving it right by the door to the bus and set the brakes. Tracy turned her head enough to see her new friend make own way out of the vehicle and put herself into the chair with no help at all. Brooke smiled at her and undid the brakes, holding one wheel as she did. Then she started after Tracy.

“See, the wheelchair isn't who I am. It's just an accessory.” Brooke said as she passed the two girls and stopped at the porch. “Till I get to a step. Then I'm stuck.”

As Lilian opened the front door, that held a huge wreath, Persephone came over to the two wheelchairs and she first pulled Brooke's chair up into the step, then into the house, then she repeated the process with Tracy.

Tracy looked at her with a part quizzical, part annoyed expression. “I could have gotten out of the chair.”

“Oh...sorry, get so used to Brooke.” Persephone replied. “But more time off your feet won’t kill you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Tracy didn't argue anymore. She knew if she made too much of a fuss, her parents would hear and she'd get an earful when she got home.

Tracy was wheeled into the living room and then Sage went back to the van to help get the sleeping bags for the night. The house was decorated for the season. A giant Christmas tree loomed in one corner of the living room, near the couch. Strands of lights and tinsel ran across the room. Tracy took a look around the room and found a group of pictures on the wall. She leaned closer and began to get confused. In several of the pictures was a man who had a white streak of hair, like Casey, holding a baby with the same streak of white hair. Other pictures had a different man, one in a police uniform, holding the baby with the white stripe of hair and Lilian holding a second girl.

“Confused?” Brooke said as she wheeled over.

“Yeah....” Tracy kept looking at the pictures. “Is one of them their Dad?”

“They both are.” Brooke pointed to the guy with the white hair. “That's Casey's dad. She's a year and a half older then Stacey, but she don't look it. The other guy is Stacey's dad. He's been raising Casey as his own since he married their mom.”

“What happened to the other guy?” Tracy asked.

“Died. From what I heard, he had some form of cancer that people didn't catch. Died right about six months after Casey was born.” Brooke replied

“That sucks.” Tracy replied.

“Yeah, but Harvey is a great dad. You met him the other day. He's funny, too.. Plus he's a cop.” Brooke started to wheel away when she looked over her shoulder. “Speaking of Casey, we got to teach you sign language.”

“That would be so cool. Then I’ll know what you're all saying.” Tracy replied with a grin.

Stacey came in with Tracy's bag and rested in on one of the handles. “We'll be taking over the living room for the night again.”

“Your parents don't mind?” Tracy asked as she was pushed over to the couch.

“Nah, I think Dad expected me to take over the TV anyway. Rudolph is on tonight.” Stacey smiled at her.

Tracy blushed as she thought about the show. It was embarrassing. Here she was, almost a teen and she still loved all the holiday shows. She would make time to catch all of the good ones and she knew if kids at school heard, she'd be a laughing stock. “You all watch that?” She asked.

“Oh yeah. I love that show. Watch it every year.”

“I thought I was the only one who liked those.” Tracy managed to squeak out.

“You kidding. Wait till it gets started. Sage will sing along with all the songs and Rachel does a great Hermey the elf imitation. We know all the songs to Santa Claus is coming to town, and A year without Santa Claus, too. We're holiday crazy.” Stacey said. “Heck, we still go trick or treating, too.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. Went as a Princess this year.” Stacey said with a giggle. “Got a bunch of candy, too.”

“Cool.” Tracy replied with a huge grin.

“Speaking of candy, Mom was gonna make some cookies and stuff for tonight. Can you have cookies and hot chocolate?”

“I...I think so.” Tracy replied.

“Yes, she can.” Persephone said as she walked into the room. “Your mother mis-read the doctor's instructions. She said to say she's sorry about that, but they wanted to be safe. But you can have anything you want, just keep up on the water.”

“Awesome.” Tracy's eyes lit up as she began to plot the annihilation of any cookie that came near her.

~o~O~o~

The six girls were gathered around the coffee table, a game of monopoly sat on the card table. It was still early, almost dinner time, and the cookies were still in the process of being baked. The piles of paper money were neatly in front of Tracy, yet they were all small piles. Around the table everything seemed to look like her pile, except for Casey. The young girl had managed to roll doubles and buy up property that people just kept landing on.

There was a knock at the door and Lilian called from the kitchen. “Stacey, could you get that? It may be those other girls.”

“Sure, Mom.” Stacey got up and went for the door. A few moments later she returned.

“Hey they made it.” Stacey said as she led Emily May and Mary Beth into the living room. Both girls had a bag hung on their shoulders and a sleeping bag in their hands. Their Aunt Jill came into the living room and Stacey led her to the kitchen

“Girls.” Jill said as she passed through the room.

“So you can stay, I see.” Sage stated as they went back to their game as the two sisters came in a stopped by the card table. Across the table, Tracy was having a hard time controlling her nerves. Her eyes stayed glued to the board.

“Yeah. Aunt Jill just wanted to give your Mom some phone numbers and stuff.” Mary Beth replied.

“Not my Mom.” Sage gestured to her cousin Stacey as she re-entered the room. “Her mother.”

“I wasn't sure.” Mary Beth said.

“Here. Put your things on the other side of the couch. We'll be having dinner soon too.” Sage pointed to the couch. “We'd invite you in to the game, but we're in the middle of one.”

“We could always stop at dinner time and then do two games.” Rachel suggested.

“Would be better then just standing around and watching us have fun.” Brooke replied.

“We could break out a second game, and split into groups.”

“That works.” Sage said. She looked at the two sisters. “You do eat pizza, right?”

“Yeah.” Mary Beth smiled. Then she looked to Tracy. “Is h..she okay?” She remembered the lecture about using the right words in time.

All the girls looked to see Tracy shaking in fear. The young girl knew her secret was going to get out. The school would know by time she got back. Sage leaned over and put a hand on Tracy's. “Hey, you okay.”

“No.” She whimpered.

Sage got up and moved to her side. “Tracy, trust me. They won’t harm you here.” She glared over her shoulder to the two girls. “And they won't talk about meeting you at school, will they?”

Both Mary Beth and her sister looked a little worried at the intensity of Sage's glare. “No.” Mary Beth said. Emily May just shook her head. Then Mary Beth asked. “What if we just tell people we met a new friend, Tracy?”

“And then people may ask who she is.” Sage replied.

“Maybe we should tell them what happened?” Rachel said, looking at Sage and Tracy.

Sage looked to Tracy who shrugged. “Tracy, if they know what happened, it may help them understand why they need to keep quiet.”

“Okay.” Tracy whispered.

Rachel nodded then looked at Tracy. “You want out of here for a few minutes?”

“Please.” Tracy began to get out of her wheelchair. “I'll go to the bathroom or something.”

“Okay.” Sage said as they watched Tracy slowly walk out of the room, Then Rachel got up to follow her.

“I'll keep her away for a few minutes. We'll take her walk of the day or something.” Rachel said.

“Good idea.” Sage nodded. They were unaware that Lilian and Jill were now in the doorway, watching the girls.

Sage sat back in her chair and turned to face the new comers. “First things first. Are there gay kids in your school?”

Mary Beth shrugged, but Emily nodded. “Yeah, there’s one. At least I think he's gay.”

“Why?” Mary Beth asked.

Sage held up a finger to hold off her questions. “Has anyone found out about him?”

Emily nodded. “Yeah. Some of the boys heard about him. He came to school a couple days later with a black eye. He never said how he got it.”

“I see.” Sage leaned back in her seat. “How do your parent's and Grandparents react when they see Gay people in person or on TV.”

“Usually they swear at them. Dad thinks Fags should die, which is kinda stupid from a Church deacon.” Mary Beth replied.

“See, girls.” Jill spoke up from the kitchen, causing all the girls, except Casey to jump. “Not everyone is friendly to those who are different. I know your Grandpa still hates black people. I know he's against gay people. Your father is the same way.” She looked to Mary Beth who was slightly surprised. But when she looked to Emily May, she noticed a worried look on the girls face.

“People tend to attack what they don't know.” Lilian said as she stepped into the room. “My Casey is insulted all the times because she looks different and can't hear.”

“And if people heard about Tracy once being a boy, they'd attack her too.” Sage butted in.

“Is that what happened with Bruce?” Mary Beth asked.

“Kinda.” Sage replied. “Bruce was headed to her house just to beat up Troy for telling the Principal that he stole stuff.”

“So he did steal from that class?” Emily May asked and Sage nodded. “Damn. I knew he was a jerk, but man, that's low.” Emily May stated. “So what happened?”

“He got mean once he found Tracy in stead of Troy and he hurt him for being gay too, at least he thought he was gay.” Sage said.

Jill moved into the room and sat on a couch. “Girls, this is why no one can know what you know.” She was aware that Sage had left out a major part of the story, but she wasn't sure how much she was allowed to say. “First was this Bruce kid. Anyone else finds out and it could be bad, or worse.”

“I...I think it is.” Mary Beth replied.

“How so?” Jill asked.

Mary Beth had a worried look on her face. “Bruce told his brother, Clark. He was going around the school telling everyone that Troy was in a dress. He even tried to start something at lunch the day Troy...Tracy got hurt again. I saw what he had on, it wasn't a dress, it was a skirt. I saw him at the hospital.”

“And have you told anyone?” Jill asked.

“No. When Clark started the rumor, I told everyone he had on a pair of bloody shorts.” Mary Beth answered.

“Good. But now you see why no one can find out about it, right?” Jill asked. “You said Clark confronted her too?”

“Yeah. He would have beat him up, but Tro...Tracy's friend was there and he almost took on all three guys. They even did a good job of telling people that Clark was a moron.” Mary Beth stated with a small smile. “Then he got tripped and was hurt again.”

“Yeah.” Sage leaned forward. “That trip pulled out all her stitches.”

“So what happened to her? Where was she hurt?” Emily May asked.

“I don't know if that's for us to tell.” Stacey said, looking to her cousin

“Tracy gave me the okay for it.” Sage replied. She shut her eyes for a moment and pushed aside the anger, that came with the story about the attack on her friend. When she opened her eyes, she focused on Mary Beth. “They found Tracy on the property by a barn, she managed to get away and made it to her Grandmothers back yard and did a hell of a job defending herself at first, but it was three to one. In the end they sprained her wrist, which got hurt again when she was tripped. Two ribs were broken and there's very little they can do to fix that. They were also hurt when she was tripped too” Sage said. She turned her gaze from the other girl and her voice got a slight edge to it. “They also kicked her so hard and enough times that her testicles were destroyed. That's why she moves so slow. The day she was tripped? That asshole tore out the stitches.”

Lilian looked at her niece and pointed a finger. “Language, young lady. I'll let it pass this time, but next time I tell your mother.”

“Sorry, Aunt Lilian.” Sage said with a blush.

“Does it hurt her?” Mary Beth asked.

“Yeah. Each step she takes is full of pain. When she sits, stands, walks, sleeps? Everything causes pain.” Sage wasn't sure how much of it was true, but she was going for total effect in scaring them silent.

“So he beat her up for wearing a dress?” Emily asked, still looking a bit nervous.

“No. He beat her up because she fought back and because she tattled on him. The fact she was in the skirt only made him meaner.” Sage replied.

“Now you see why you can't say anything?” Jill asked. “Her life could be in danger in that town you live in.” Sage just looked at the two girls and nodded.

“Can we hang out with her when we're home?” Mary Beth asked.

Jill thought about it for a moment, then asked. “Can I ask why you'd want to hang out with her?”

“Well Troy always seemed like a nice guy.” This time she didn't alter the words. “But he was always so quiet. So reserved. When I was paired with him for assignments, he was so smart.” Mary Beth replied. “From what I saw at the mall, Tracy seems like she's a fun person and I thought she'd want some friends.”

“That sounds good.” Jill replied. “You'll give her the same respect that you want to be given?”

“Yeah.” Mary Beth and Emily both nodded as they spoke.

“Good. She's a human, no matter what she looks like. She's not a toy. She has feelings, just like you do.”

“What do you mean?”

Jill took a deep breath as she tired to figure out what to say and how. “There's unspoken rules for dealing with people. First of all, use your head. If she's dressed as her boy persona, use his names and male pronouns. If she's dressed as a girl, then treat her like one. And respect. Always respect.”

“She's just like you, but she was born a little different.” Sage added.

“That's another thing.” Jill drummed her finger on her knee. “Don't ask to see her naked. You wouldn't want people to just ask and see you like that, don't think she just wants to show you because you ask.” She waited while Mary Beth and Emily May nodded. “Plus, don't ask her about her private parts either. You already know more about her then she knows about you. Also, just because you know, don't keep asking her about it. Okay?”

“Yes Aunt Jill.” Mary Beth replied.

“Yeah.” Emily nodded.

“Good. Now I'll be by the phone. You bug her too much tonight and I'll get you. Or if she gets too upset with you around, I'll come get you. She's in a delicate mood, so please, be gentle with her. Be patient and understanding.”

“Yes Aunt Jill.” Both sisters replied.

Jill look to Lilian and smiled. “Thank you for letting them come over. I don't have children and they were getting bored with nothing to do while I work.”

“It's no problem.” Lilian stated. “Glad to have them over, if it helps out Tracy in the end.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy and Rachel made their way to the end of the block, moving at the slow pace that Tracy could manage. Once they reached the stop sign, Tracy put a hand out and leaned against it. “Do you think it's a good idea?” She asked.

“Having those two girls here?” Rachel watched as Tracy nodded. “I don't know, but Sage thinks so.”

“I'm...” Tracy shook her head and sighed. “I'm just afraid that they'll say something at school.”

“Well they could have if we didn't invite them. But I think Sage is right. This may be the chance we need to show them why they shouldn't talk.” Rachel replied. “I just hope she's right.”

“Me too. I'm just glad they don't know about Sage, too.”

Rachel nodded. “Yeah, that's not something she broadcasts. So we're all keeping it that way.”

Tracy looked over her shoulder and stood up straight. “Let's go back. I think I've had enough of a walk today, plus the pizza should be here soon.”

“I like how you think.” Rachel said with a smile.

~o~O~o~

The eight girls all sat around the TV as the famous holiday cartoon was finishing. True to what Stacey had said, Sage had begun to sing along with the movie as they all watched it. The pizza was a distant memory, but now each of them had a cup of hot chocolate and a few cookies each. Tracy had taken the chance to sit on the couch, instead of her wheelchair.

Sage had taken a spot next to her, with Rachel on the other side. Casey was the only one not watching, instead she was busy drawing in a sketch pad she held on her lap. Mary Beth and her sister sat on the floor in front of the couch. As the show hit the End, Sage got up and headed for the hall. “Leave it on. Frosty is next.” She called as she went for the bathroom.

Mary Beth took the time to turn around and smile at Tracy. “Thank you for letting us stay.”

“It's not a problem.” Tracy replied.

“I really am sorry for surprising you at the mall. Aunt Jill explained some things, so did Sage, you know, how things could have happened.” Mary Beth stated.

“I'm not mad, but you had me scared there at first.” Tracy said.

“What about now?” Mary Beth turned fully around to face her. “Are you okay with us now?”

Tracy thought about it for a moment. They had taken to her as Tracy quite well. Neither of them had slipped with the pronouns while they ate, or while they played the board games. In fact they had been quite polite. No questions about anything. But she was still unsure. “A little better. It just worries me that more people know. If people hear, I could be in deep shit.”

“Yeah. It was pretty stupid to come up to you like that. But at least you know and I haven't told anyone. Heck, Emily didn't even know till we saw you in the parking lot.” Mary Beth said.

“Really?” Tracy asked.

“Really.” Emily May said as Mary Beth stood up.

“Be right back.” Mary Beth said and she left the room.

Emily May turned to face Tracy better. “I kinda understand having a secret that you don't want people to know.”

“Really?” Tracy was slightly skeptical.

Emily May went over to where Tracy sat on the couch and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “You can't tell anyone....But I like girls. I'm just scared to say it at home.”

Tracy's eyes went wide as she let the information sink in. “Really?” She said back.

Emily nodded as she stood there. “Really.”

“Wow.” Tracy blinked a couple of times. It wasn't the same as her situation, but at least she had someone who was kind of like her at home.

Emily leaned in once more. “I know why you're scared, but you won't have to worry about me.”

“Thank you.” Tracy whispered back. “And thank you for the trust.”

“You're welcome, Tracy.” Emily May said. “You're more then welcome.”

“Do you think she'll say anything?” Tracy asked.

“I don't know, but I so hope not.” Emily May answered, but the look she gave didn't inspire confidence.

~o~O~o~

Something was wrong. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was wrong. Tracy got off the bus, aware that everyone seemed to be whispering behind her back. She wasn't sure why, but more people were staring at her as she walked into the school. More people began to point and whisper, then she noticed a few angry faces.

She was halfway through the halls, still trying to figure out what was happening. Peter was nowhere to be seen and that worried her. She came around the corner where her class was and she stopped when she saw the crowd. At the front of the crowd was Mary Beth. At the distance she was, Tracy couldn't hear what she was saying, but it was clear she was either agitated or ecstatic.

She saw someone tap Mary Beth on the shoulder and the girl turned around and gave her a sinister grin. “See, I told you. HE wears dresses!”

“Mary Beth?!?” Tracy was confused. “What the hell are you talking about. I'm not wearing a dre....” Her train of though trailed off as she looked down to see a very bright pink sundress on. She looked at a nearby window and saw that her hair wasn't long anymore, it was the style her father always made Troy have. A military style cut.

“Boys can't be girls.” Mary Beth said as she walked closer. “Maybe I should let my friends teach you a lesson like we taught your friends?”

“What? What are you talking about?”Tracy took a step back. “What friend?”

As if on cue, the crowd parted on one side and Peter was thrown to the ground. His body was bloody and bruised.

“Peter?” she whispered.

“Not just him.” A voice from behind her spoke up. This sent a shiver down her spine. She turned around to see Bruce walking towards her. Kenny, Frankie to one side of the brothers and their cousins to the other side. One of the cousins gripped Emily May's hair in his hand. Her face had been struck several times. They shoved her forward and she took a couple of stumbling steps, then hit the ground.

“Mary Beth?” Emily's voice was cracked and shaking. “Why?”

“Sorry, sis. You're not like us, you're against us.” Mary Beth's voice had an edge to it. She stalked forward and stopped next to Tracy and put a hand on her shoulder. “Show her the other one.” As Tracy gave her a quick glance, Mary Beth's skin seemed to ripple, then her features changed. As they stood there, she slowly became Clark Millet.

Frankie reached behind him and he pulled back with a handful of red hair. He dragged a severely beaten Sage and shoved her to the ground Her clothes were torn, with her shirt cut open just like hers had been, just her underwear was left on below her waist. Sage lay on the ground, sobbing. Bruce stared at Tracy and he stepped over to the fallen redhead. “Little boys shouldn't try to be little girls.”

“Sage?" She called out. "What....what did you do to her?” Tracy tried to run, but her feet were glued to the spot. It was at this moment that she noticed the students had gathered into a circle around her and Bruce.

“Nothing yet. But she'll get the same thing we're gonna do to you.” Bruce took a step forward, so did his brother and their stooges. “You two want to be girls? We'll teach you what little girls should do.”

Tracy felt several of the students behind her grab at her arms and legs. She tried to struggle, she tried to scream, but it was hopeless. She was shoved to the ground as Bruce walked over. He dropped to one knee and sneered at her as he put a hand on her chest. “You're gonna love this.” He said as he torn the cloth over her chest open. Other hands began to shred the cloth from her body and she found her voice, screaming out as loud as she could.

~o~O~o~

As with the first night, Rachel and Sage were on her as the screaming and thrashing began. “Damn it girl, wake up!” Sage commanded. She held Tracy's head as best as she could. As Tracy noticed where she was, the screaming changed to sobbing.

All the girls, except Casey were wide awake and now staring at Tracy, Sage and Rachel. From the back of the house, they could hear running towards the living room. Harvey stepped into the living room, gun in one hand and a flashlight held alongside the pistol with the other hand. His daughter got up and stopped him. “It's okay Dad.” She said as she walked over. “Just a nightmare.”

“You sure?” He asked, flipping hte safety on his weapon watching as Rachel moved so Sage could slip next to her friend.

“Yeah. Ask Mom, she can fill you in.”

“Okay.” He stood there for a moment, then he slowly left the room.

“What happened?” Mary Beth asked as her and her sister just watched helpless from their own sleeping bags.

“Nightmares. She's had them since the attack.” Rachel replied.

Sage opened up her sleeping bag, then opened up Tracy's. She uncovered her friend, then brought hers over both of their bodies.

“It was different, wasn't it?” Sage asked Tracy. She just nodded. “I heard you call my name and Mary Beth's. Want to talk about it?”

“No” Tracy said between sobs.

Sage bit her lip, but still held her friend tightly. She was really curious now, after she had heard her named mentioned. “It's okay.” She whispered. “Just let it all out.”

“Will she be okay?” Mary Beth asked. “What are the dreams about?”

“Maybe.” Rachel answered. She sighed and then looked at the two sisters. “There's something else about the attack we didn't tell you.”

“Really? What was that?” Mary Beth asked.

“First of all, this doesn't leave this house. Got it. Second you don't say a word to Tracy....or Troy at school.” Rachel stated.

“Okay.” Mary Beth nodded.

“Yeah. I won't talk.” Emily May said.

“Good. Follow me.” Rachel got up and led them out of the living room so Tracy wouldn't hear the story and have another dream. She stopped at the den and took a second to compose herself, then she began to explain the whole attack to the two girls, giving them all the information she had about it. When she had finished both girls had stunned looks on their faces.

“He really tired to rape her?” Emily May asked.

“Yeah. It's been tearing her up, too.” Rachel replied.

“That's....but she's still a boy, right?” Mary Beth shook her head, trying to figure out how it was possible.

“Mary Beth, Just because she's a boy don't mean Bruce couldn't rape her.” Emily told her sister.

“Where....but how.....?” Mary Beth kept trying to work it out in her mind, then she froze. “You mean....in her?” She leaned over to her sister and whispered the rest of the statement to her sister. Emily nodded.

“I think so at least. But remember, no talking about this in front of her.” Emily May stated.

Mary Beth nodded. “Yeah, I won’t say a word.” She looked at the now double sleeping bag.

“Good.” Rachel replied. “Hopefully she can get back to sleep this time.”

Meanwhile in the living room, she was holding Sage with a death grip, not letting her move at all. Stacey had joined her cousin in holding her. Both girls were trying to get the sobbing to slow down. Emily May and Mary Beth were shocked to see the other two girls under the covers with her.

“Tracy?” Sage spoke quietly. “I wanna know what happened. I was in your dream, wasn't I?”

“Yeah.” Tracy managed to say as the sobbing stopped.

“Was I attacked?” Sage asked. Tracy nodded. “Was Mary Beth attacked?” This time Tracy shook her head. “But she was in the dream, right?”

Tracy nodded. “Yeah.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

“Tracy. Was Bruce in it again?” Sage asked. This spurred a new round of sobbing.

Sage wanted to ask more questions, but she didn't want to push it too far. So instead she rubbed her hand over Tracy's back in a comforting way. “Come on Tracy, let it out. You didn't do anything wrong that day. Just let it all out. Let the shame fall with your tears.” She whispered. “Just let it all out.”

I promise that I'll try to stay away from another dream episode for a while. She'll have them, but I am not writing it. Next time the week in Livermore CA continues.

“Really? What are they?” Tracy asked as she got to the steps. She paused for a moment, trying to summon the want to go up the stairs for a shower.

Mary Beth came out of the bathroom and went over to Tracy. “Hey, you sleep better?” She asked, her smile was huge and her eyes danced with joy.

“Well enough, I guess.” Tracy replied. She wasn't sure why, but the dream was bugging her. There was that part of her that was waiting for Mary Beth to attack.

“Awesome.” She leaned in and hugged Tracy, who flinched slightly at the touch. Mary Beth didn't say anything, but she had felt the flinch and Sage had seen it. Tracy couldn't see the worried look on both girls face. Mary Beth let go and hooked a thumb towards the living room. “I'll help put away the sleeping bags, if that's okay.”

Big thanks once again to Djkauf for the editing.

One more look into Tracy in Livermore.

December 20th 1982
Livermore CA

The sun was still considering peaking over the mountains of the Diablo Mountains when Tracy awoke to nature’s call. She still felt a body behind her, but none in front of her. There was still an arm over her side, but she didn't mind. She tried to roll over so it didn't hurt her or wake up who ever was holding her, but she failed on both accounts. The pain wasn't too bad, but when she stopped she was surprised to see Emily May holding her and smiling. “Hey there, Cutie.” She said.

“Emily? Where...where's Sage?” Tracy looked over her shoulder. “And Stacey?”

Emily brushed some of the hair out of her face. “Well Stacey's mom has her doing something right now with her sister. They got up about an hour ago. Rachel is helping Brooke up the stairs to the shower Sage got up earlier and you started to cry, so I slipped in to help comfort you....” She began to look a bit worried. “You're not mad, are you?”

Tracy shook her head and leaned into Emily and put her own arm around the girl. “No. But I do got to go to the bathroom.”

“May be a bit of a wait. Sage and Mary Beth were in line at last count a couple minutes ago. And the upstairs one has been in use for a bit now.” Emily May replied. As if on cue, Sage came back into the room.

“Hey, she's awake.” Sage bounded over to where the last two girls lay. “You mind?”

“No, not at all.” Tracy replied, unsure what she was supposed to mind. “Is the bathroom free?”

Sage slid under the top sleeping bag and put her arm over Tracy. “Not yet. But we'll tell you.”

“Why didn't anyone wake me?” Tracy asked.

“Because. After your nightmare, we all decided you should sleep till you got up on your own.” Emily May stated.

“But you may want to get up soon. Aunt Lilian is gonna cook breakfast for us before she has to take off for work.” Sage added

“What about you two? Is your Aunt coming to get you soon?” Tracy asked Emily May.

“Nah. She managed to ask if we could stay with you all till later and she'll get us at four.” Emily May replied. “Hope that's okay.”

“Sure.” Tracy said. “Not my house and you were both nice last night.”

“Good, 'cause we're going to do a board game blowout today.” Sage said.

Rachel walked into the living room. “The bathroom with the shower is open if you want it.”

“Please.” Tracy said as Emily May rolled out from under the sleeping bag. “I'll walk it.” Tracy said as she noticed Rachel moving to the wheelchair.

“Cool.” Sage replied as she slid out from under the sleeping bag too.

“I'll take a shower. I think I could use it.” Tracy stood up and went to grab her bag and Sage stopped her.

“I got it.” Sage said. “You deal with the stairs, I got the heavy stuff.”

“Yes, Mother.” Tracy replied with a huff as she headed out of the room.

“Hey, be good or we can't plan on you for the summer.” Sage reminded her as she picked up her own bag. “And we got some great plans a-brewin’.”

“Really? What are they?” Tracy asked as she got to the steps. She paused for a moment, trying to summon the want to go up the stairs for a shower.

Mary Beth came out of the bathroom and went over to Tracy. “Hey, you sleep better?” She asked, her smile was huge and her eyes danced with joy.

“Well enough, I guess.” Tracy replied. She wasn't sure why, but the dream was bugging her. There was that part of her that was waiting for Mary Beth to attack.

“Awesome.” She leaned in and hugged Tracy, who flinched slightly at the touch. Mary Beth didn't say anything, but she had felt the flinch and Sage had seen it. Tracy couldn't see the worried look on both girls face. Mary Beth let go and hooked a thumb towards the living room. “I'll help put away the sleeping bags, if that's okay.”

“Groovy.” Sage replied. “We'll get showered and we can work on breakfast and a game or two.”

“I'll let 'em know.” Mary Beth left the two of them to the stairs.

“Come on....back to Summer plans. I got plans, everyone else is thinking.” Sage said, trying to get Tracy's mind off of Mary Beth for a moment. “But we're all going to come up with a couple of ideas and see what we can make work.”

Sage took her time, tailing Tracy up the stairs. “What are you thinking?” Tracy asked.

“Well, I want to go camping. You got a lake near your house. That's one plan. We could either camp near the lake, or on your property and swim at the lake in the daytime.” Sage smiled, but Tracy was in front of her and too busy with the stairs to see it. “Or we could go to the cabin where I was born. My parents are friends with the owner.”

“That sounds cool.” Tracy nodded.

“It is. It's up near Donner Pass, north of Truckee There's even a small lake near by. Cold water, but it's not too deep. Then there's always Great America and Winchester Mystery house.” Sage added.

“Never been to either. Went to Disneyland once, but I was like eight at the time.” Tracy said as they kept going up. “Anyone else have a plan?”

“Rachel wants to do a shopping trip a day. Hit all the malls that she can, but that would cost more then camping.”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“What would you like to do this summer?” Sage asked.

“Hang out with you guys.” Tracy paused for a moment to catch her breath. “Too many stairs.” She muttered.

“Yeah.” Sage replied. “Sorry, forgot how many of us have stairs here. But when we made the plans, you weren't hurt.”

Tracy shrugged. “Can't win 'em all.” She finished the journey to the top as Harvey brought Brooke out of the bathroom and to the steps.

“Good, you're awake.” Brooke said with a smile.

“Yep.” Tracy nodded.

“Hey, let's get me down the steps before your arms get tired.” Brooke said, looking back to her ride for the moment.

“Yes, Milady.” Harvey said with a grin.

Tracy watched them head down the stairs, Harvey taking his time so he didn't fall. She headed to the bathroom and asked Sage. “I thought she hated getting help?”

“She does hate it, but with ten people under the roof she understands that she can get in the way and make things worse, plus it's a bitch moving her chair up and down the steps just for the shower.”

“Oh. I see.” Tracy replied as she went into the bathroom.

“Hey, now that we're alone, could we talk about last night?” Sage asked as she followed her in, dropping her bag at the door.

“I don't want to.” Tracy said. Images of the the dream came back and she couldn't look at Sage, not without seeing how she looked in that dream.

“Tracy, I saw how you flinched when Mary Beth touched you. She says she won't well anyone about you and for some reason, I believe her. So please, let me help you.” Sage moved closer and put her arms around her friend. “I heard you call my name, her name and Peter's name last night. You were dreaming about Bruce attacking you, weren't you?”

Tracy didn't reply, she just gave a slight nod as she started to cry. Sage turned her so she could face her. “Was it at the property again?” Sage asked. Tracy only shook her head. “Was it here?” Again there was a shake of the head. She was trying to figure out where all Tracy would think of being attacked. “School? Was it at school?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded as she cried.

“Bruce attacked you at the school?” Sage asked and Tracy nodded. “Tell me about it. It will help.”

Tracy leaned against her as Sage held her. As she got the tears under control, she began to tell her as much as she could about the dream. “I was at school, in a skirt and Mary Beth had told people, like told everyone. Then Bruce showed up with Peter and Emily May all beat up, plus you. They had beaten you and torn your clothes off. Then Mary Beth turned into Clark, Bruce's brother.”

Sage nodded and leaned back so she could wipe a tear from her friends eyes. “So then it wasn't Mary Beth.” She guessed. “Maybe your mind is thinking that because he knows and so does she, that she is a dangerous as he is.”

“Maybe.” Tracy tried to shrug.

“Give her a chance.” Sage said. “And face it, I'll never give that asshole a chance to lay his hands on me, and I doubt Peter will either.”

“Yeah.” Tracy put her head against Sage's shoulder. “But it just felt so real.” Her tears picked up again and she leaned into Sage's shoulder once more.

“I know.” Sage replied. “But it wasn't real. It was just a dream.”

“I hate feeling like this. So scared.” Tracy said as she stood up, then leaned against the sink.

“I know. Come on, let's get you showered and feeling better.” Sage went over and started the shower for her.

“Okay.” Tracy said.

~o~O~o~

As Tracy and Sage descended the stairs they could hear the sounds of music playing in the living room. They walked into the living room to find the stereo was on to a Christmas station. They were met by Rachel who bounced in place to the beat of Rockin' round the Christmas tree and only stopped when she saw Sage and Tracy. “Hey, instead of two games, why not do one game and we can team up.” She stepped closer and saw that Tracy still looked a bit down. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“Still thinking about last night?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“Is that why you two have been upstairs for a while?”

“Yeah.” Sage nodded.

“I was starting to think the two of you showered together.” Rachel said with a grin.

Tracy's cheeks went bright red. She had never really had a feeling yet for boys or girls. “We only talked. She just stayed in there while I showered. I....I needed to talk.”

“I was only teasing, but good.” Rachel pulled Tracy into a hug. “We're all here for you. You ever need to talk and Sage isn't there, I'll listen. I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I'm a great listener.”

“She's not the only one.” Stacey said as Rachel let go of Tracy and was replaced by Stacey. “We're all here for you.”

“But you've only met me few days ago.” Tracy stated.

“So. Does that mean that we can't call you friend and welcome you with open arms?” Stacey countered. She gestured around at her sister and Brooke. “If we didn't want to hang out with you, trust me, you wouldn't have been here last night.”

“What Stacey's saying is you're a good person, and that's the type of friends we like.” Brooke said with a huge grin. “But if your dream is bugging you that much, maybe we should just forget the board games?”

“I still wanna play.” Tracy replied. A part of her felt good for talking with Sage and it had helped that first night at home as well. She didn't want to be too much of a downer. Plus if they all knew, then maybe they could help in the future.

“Well then let's go to the dining room. We decided to play either Clue and just have two groups of two, or Monopoly.”

“Can we do Clue?”Tracy asked.

“Sure!” Rachel turned and started to head for the kitchen when Tracy called out to her. “But breakfast should be done here in a moment.”

“Rachel? Could you stay for a minute?” Tracy looked around the room. “Could...could I talk to all of you? Sage is right, I want to talk about that dream.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy sat at the dining room table, next to Mary Beth. Two of the girls had teamed up with two others, so each of them could play. Tracy had only played Clue a few times before, so she was glad for someone to remind her of the rules. So together the two of them controlled Mrs. Scarlet. Casey had teamed up with her sister and when they wanted to talk, they turned their backs on the table. Christmas music played on the radio, helping keep the mood light and fun.

Tracy had suggested being with Mary Beth after telling all of them about her dream. She was hoping to avoid any bad blood just in case. Eight cans of soda sat around the table along with a plate of cookies that had been liberated from their hiding spot in the kitchen. Tracy leaned over to Mary Beth and whispered into her ear. “Thank you for being so...understanding about this.”

“No problem.” She replied in a whisper. “I really won’t tell anyone. I am sorry about the dreams.”

“Me too.” Tracy tired to chuckle. She stopped for a moment, watching the game, then she grabbed the pencil and made a couple of notes on the paper in two categories. A simple B for Brooke in the category for the kitchen and a question mark for the knife.

“Really?” Mary Beth asked, looking at the paper for a moment. Tracy nodded.

“Really.” Tracy side with a nod. She reached for a cookie and smiled. “And maybe when we're home we could hang out sometime. Have to be at my place, but still.”

“I'd like that.” Mary Beth said as the dice were pushed in front of them. She took them and rolled. As she reached out to touch the little red piece, she looked at Tracy. “Where to?”

Tracy was counting spaces out from their piece, then she looked to the paper they had. “Billiard room.” She replied and Mary Beth moved the piece.

“What and who?” Mary Beth asked.

Tracy smiled and nodded. They had been staying off the knife idea for a while now, letting everyone else suggest it. “Knife and Mrs. White.” She whispered. There were only a few question marks she had left on the board. One was Mrs. White, one was the knife and the last two were the billiard room and the library. They held onto the Mr. Green, Professor Plum cards and the hall.

“Okay. My beautiful team-mate thinks it was the mean Mrs. White with the knife in the billiard room.”

"Hey!" Sage said. "I'm innocent."

"We'll see, Mrs. White." Mary Beth said with a grin

They waited as the other girls each looked at their cards. It went from Casey and Stacey who had nothing, but the room cards. Then it moved around the table till it got to Rachel who showed them the billiard room card. Tracy checked off the room and nodded. “Accuse.” She whispered.

“Really?” Mary Beth asked. “You sure?”

“Yep.” Tracy nodded.

“Okay, we would like to make an accusation.” She looked to Tracy who smiled.

“We think it was that evil Mrs White, with the knife, in the library.” Tracy stated.

"Oh I'm Evil now?" Sage replied.

"Yep." Tracy chuckled. "Evil in the library with a knife."

“Well, take a look.” Sage said. "You'll see it was Mr. Green all this time."

Mary Beth pulled the little envelope over and under the table she pulled the cards out and showed Tracy.

“Well?” Rachel asked.

Mary Beth laid the cards out on the table and smiled. “She was right.”

“Damn.” Sage swore as she leaned back in her chair. “So damn close. I was thinking it was the conservatory.”

“Couldn't have been.” Emily May said with a smile and she showed the card. “You all kept going into the hall, so I never had to show it to you. Well, all but those two.”

“So? Another game of this? Or something else?” Rachel asked as she looked to a clock on the wall. “It's just past ten, so we still got a couple hours to lunch and even more time till their Aunt gets here.”

“Once more, then lunch followed by Monopoly?” Sage offered. The rest of the girls just nodded.

~o~O~o~

It was just after four in the afternoon when Persephone, Andromeda, Lilian and Jill all showed up at the house. The loading of the two cars took very little time and it left the eight girls a moment or two outside while the older ladies talked inside. Tracy watched as the other seven girls all hugged and exchanged information. She walked over to Mary Beth and put her arms around her. “You got my phone number, right?”

“Yeah.” Mary Beth replied. “Wish we could have had more time, but we can wait till we're home.”

“Cool.” Tracy let her go as Emily May came over and Mary Beth began making rounds.

“Hey, you ever need to talk and I'm there. I may not understand everything, but I think we're in the same boat.” She whispered.

“Thank you, Emily.”

“It's no problem, Tracy.”

~o~O~o~

The girls all slowly made their way into Persephone's house. As they did, Tracy couldn't help but notice that there was no tree in the house. Instead several boxes were on the floor of the living room. Both Rachel's parent's place and Stacey's house had Christmas trees, but not here. She stopped Sage in the doorway as they brought up her chair and opened it up.

“Hey, I...I don't mean to insult you, but do you celebrate Christmas?” She asked.

“Oh yeah!” Sage beamed. “best holiday of the year.”

“But you don't have a tree.” Tracy stated.

“That's one of the things we do on my birthday. We put up the tree, but because it's tomorrow and you'll all be here tonight, we're setting it up after dinner and before cake.” Sage stated.

“You didn't want a birthday party?” Tracy asked.

“You kidding? This is my birthday party. We put the tree up every year on my birthday, then play games till it's late and eat cake. It's like a tradition.”

“Cool.”

'Romy came racing in and began dancing around the girls. “PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!” She shouted while she danced.

“Wanna guess what dinner is?” Sage asked with a grin.

“Pizza?” Tracy asked, to which the little girl began cheering.

“Kinda my fault. Each year on our birthday, Mom let's us pick the meal. 'Romy heard pizza and she went into happy kid mode.” Sage said with a chuckle.

“It's cool.” Tracy said with a smile as they headed to the kitchen.

“So how about that grape soda that you've been dying for?” Sage asked with a huge grin.

“I'd love it.” Tracy replied.

~o~O~o~

The six girls were setting up their sleeping bags in the living room. Andromeda had begged to be able to spend the night with them as well, but she was unable to stay awake. So the little girl had already been put into her sleeping bag and was lying near the tree. The rest of the girls began unrolling their bags and lying them about the room. As Tracy opened up hers, Stacey stopped her and unzipped it all the way. “Hey, I was wondering if you'd...you know....” She leaned in and whispered into Tracy's ear. “Want someone to hold you tonight?”

“Sure.” Tracy said with a nod. She had felt safe in Sage's arms a night or two before, so she was willing to try it again.

Stacey smiled and took her sleeping bag and unzipped it. She waited for Tracy to lay down, then she pulled hers over both of them and put an arm around Tracy. “I'm glad you came.” She said.

“Me too.” Tracy replied. “It would have sucked the past few days at home.”

“I can only imagine.” Stacey nodded. “I hear there's nothing there.”

“Yeah, it is pretty dead there. Nothing like here.” Tracy said before she let out a big yawn.

“Not many places are.” Stacey smiled. “Go ahead and sleep, I've got you covered for tonight.”

“Thanks, Stacey.” Tracy rested her head against the other girls chest and waited for sleep to claim her.

Two more days in Livermore, then it's back home.

On her desk was a photo from the year before. It had been taken just around Halloween. She had been focusing on it a lot the past few days while her youngest was off with friends. In it was her husband, looking like he always did. A small smile on his lips and a hand on her shoulder. Then her older child, Vance, had his usual goofy grin on. But her son Troy was another story. She could recall her mother-in-law telling him to look up and smile. After several pleas, he finally did. But anyone could tell the smile was forced and his eyes were still focused on the ground.

She reached into her purse and pulled a newer picture out of her wallet. This one had been taken in Livermore by her friend Shelly. It was just before she had gone to San Francisco for her Doctor's appointment a month before. William was in it, as was Vance. Instead of Troy, the glum looking boy, Tracy stood in his usual spot. Her smile seemed to be infectious. Her husband, son and herself all wore a smile just like it. Maggie rested the picture on her desk and picked up her sandwich. She began thinking about how things had changed when Tracy came out. The confidence, the happy demeanor. She could remember the trip to Livermore, the first one. The young girl had talked non-stop till they reached Tracy, the town. After a few hours of hell, when the child thought she should be Troy while at Shelly's place, Tracy came back and was brighter then before.

Thanks once more to Djkauf for the editing

This time we look into the lives of William, Maggie and Vance

December 20th 1982
Northern California

Vance woke up to the sounds of someone knocking on his bedroom door. He glanced over to the window and saw the sun was still rising in the sky. He glanced to the clock that sat on the dresser and groaned. “It's only seven.”

“Yeah, it's only seven.” William repeated from the doorway. “You told your Grandfather that you'd help him reorganize that shed this week. Your mother left for work already and I'm about to head out for mine. I wanted to make sure you didn't sleep in and make him come over to wake you up.” He paused for a moment, then added. “Again.”

“Can't I just nap for a few more minutes?”

“No. You promised that you'd be over there at seven thirty. And If I know my mother, she'll have food for you.” William shook the frame of the bunk bed. “So come on, get those feet on the ground, you got fifteen minutes to get next door and eat.”

“Fine.” Vance grumbled. He swung his feet over the edge and sat up. He was hoping that his father would leave, but William stood there and looked at his watch. After a few moments he hopped off of the bed. “There, I'm up.”

“Good.” Conner's voice called from the hallway. Vance stopped in his tracks at looked at his dad

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, he's here already.” William smiled. “Get dressed kid and have a good day.”

“Okay Dad.” Vance did a fast change of clothes from his pajamas to a pair of torn jeans and an old shirt. He skipped the shower, mostly because he didn't want to take one then get dirty. Ten minutes later he found himself in his grandparent's kitchen, a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. As he ate, his grandfather read the paper. Between bites, Vance asked. “What are we doing today?”

“I was thinking that maybe we could organize the shed a bit better then what it is. It may be a couple day affair. I know it's cold out today, but we got the stove in there. I wanna set up the table saws and a workbench.” Conner put down his paper and took a drink from his coffee cup.

“Okay.” Vance said with a nod, before he dug into his food again.

The phone started to ring and Modine went over and picked it up. “Patterson’s, Modine speaking.” She was quiet for a second, then she smiled. “Hello, Lilly. How are you?”

Vance only glanced up for a moment, then he went back to his eating. He kept listening to his grandmother. “Again? All of them?” She was silent for a moment. Then she nodded. “I'll ask.” She cupped her hand over the handset and looked at her husband. “Conner, Lilly's cows got out again. She was wondering if you'd help catch them. Some of them are in our field.”

“What do you think Vance?” Conner asked his grandson.

“Yeah.” Vance said. He was glad for the chance and he had two reasons. The first was Lilly always paid off kindness in either pies or cookies and the second was corralling cows was a lot more fun then cleaning a shed.

“They said yes.” Modine said into the phone. She was quiet for another couple of moments before she looked at her husband again. “She says they're not in the road, but they're between our two properties.”

“Good.” Conner began to stand up. “Come on Vance. Let's get the cows in.”

Vance shifted his focus from the eggs to the bacon and quickly took the last few strips and began shoving them in his mouth. He got up and followed his grandfather out of the house.

~o~O~o~

Vance was beginning to re-think his views of how easy it was to get the cows back into their pen. He had spent ten minutes chasing the same cow. Each time they'd get close to the pen, it would run off again. He had begun to regret ever agreeing to helping at all today. His pants were muddy from one too many falls while trying to keep up with the cows, his shoes were soaked.

He knew his sibling had it easy. He was just hanging out with friends. His inwardly kicked himself. ~No, it's she now!~ His inner voice said. ~But why ain't she here fighting these stupid cows.~

~Because she got hurt, fighting our old friend.~ He answered himself.

~Why didn't Mom let me go down with her?~ He asked himself again. He didn't reply. He didn't have the chance to. One of the cows came running at him. He panicked and screamed, throwing his arms out wide and raced at it, causing it to stop and turn it's direction.

A couple of the other cows joined its lead and walked into the pen. His inner voices kept quiet as his grandfather began moving the rest of the cows in his direction and he scared them into the pen.

“About freaking time.” He said out loud as the last cow went inside.

“I hear ya.” His grandfather agreed. “Come on. Let's fix this fence real fast so we don't do this again this month.”

An older lady, near sixty years old came out. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and she wore a house coat. “Thank you so much. I don't know why my son insists on me having these stupid things. After Hank died I can barely take care of them on my own.”

“We're just glad they didn't get hit.” Conner said as he began pulling up the trample wires..

“I don't think I could afford someone's car.” She said with a shake of her head. “I'm sorry to call you two again, but you're the closest people I know that were home.”

“It's okay, Lilly.” Conner picked up a fallen fence post and tired to push it into place.

“Well, we won’t have to worry about this again. I've called up Hoss.” She said with a sigh.

Vance looked up for a moment, then back to the work on the fence. Hoss was the nickname of the local butcher who made house calls. He owned a shop in town with a giant walk in freezer that people could rent lockers out of. They also had the largest pickles for sale, he had ever seen. When his parents had owned cows, a few years earlier, they had used his services when it came time to take care of the cows.

“You sure? I mean we can go to town and get the stuff to fix the fence proper.” Conner said.

“I'm sure. This is what? The fifth time in the past few months?” Lilly asked. “It's time. I already told my son what I was planning and told him no more cows.”

“Well, we can at least fix the fence to hold till he gets here.”

“Thank you.” She started to leave when she stopped. “And for your help I'll send some of the meat your way. God knows I can't eat ten cows worth.”

“Well you don't have to, but thank you.” Conner smiled at her.

“Nonsense. You two and Vance's family have helped me out far too many times. It's the least I can do.” She said. “Vance, let your parents know I'm sending some their way too. I've got a freezer if they don't have space, or maybe Hoss has a spot in his freezer.

~o~O~o~

Maggie was seated at her desk with her lunch spread out in front of her. The cleaning service she worked for was doing good business, for a small, locally owned company. A lot of it was weekly or monthly clients, so she rarely had to answer the phones, except for the occasional new client or problems. That left her lots of time to do the billing. Her hours were long, from early morning to about five in the afternoon, but she only worked four days in the week, usually giving her Friday, Saturday and Sunday off.

There were no other receptionists there, so she was forced to take her lunch breaks at her desk, unless the boss was willing to cover the phones. He was a working boss, out cleaning with the rest of the workers, so he was rarely there, except Fridays. But when she got busy, she spread out her lunch to make up for it.

On her desk was a photo from the year before. It had been taken just around Halloween. She had been focusing on it a lot the past few days while her youngest was off with friends. In it was her husband, looking like he always did. A small smile on his lips and a hand on her shoulder. Then her older child, Vance, had his usual goofy grin on. But her son Troy was another story. She could recall her mother-in-law telling him to look up and smile. After several pleas, he finally did. But anyone could tell the smile was forced and his eyes were still focused on the ground.

She reached into her purse and pulled a newer picture out of her wallet. This one had been taken in Livermore by her friend Shelly. It was just before she had gone to San Francisco for her Doctor's appointment a month before. William was in it, as was Vance. Instead of Troy, the glum looking boy, Tracy stood in his usual spot. Her smile seemed to be infectious. Her husband, son and herself all wore a smile just like it. Maggie rested the picture on her desk and picked up her sandwich. She began thinking about how things had changed when Tracy came out. The confidence, the happy demeanor. She could remember the trip to Livermore, the first one. The young girl had talked non-stop till they reached Tracy, the town. After a few hours of hell, when the child thought she should be Troy while at Shelly's place, Tracy came back and was brighter then before.

She tucked the photo back into her wallet and put it back in her purse. And went back to her sandwich as the front door to the office opened up. Her boss strode in. He was an older man, just near fifty. The first glance at him always made people think of Santa Claus. He was fat. Not huge, but round in the belly. His hair was short and white and he had grown a beard, which he did at the start of September. He'd shave after the first of the year, but it was his way of spreading Christmas cheer. The fact he wore a Santa hat didn't hurt the look either. The only thing missing was the rest of the suit. Instead of bright red, he had a gray jumpsuit with a blue patch that bore his company’s name. Below that was his name. “Chris.”

“Maggie.” His voice was deep and filled with cheer. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to her. “Three more payments in there. You can wait on the deposit. I'll hit the bank on the way home after work.”

“Oh, thank you Santa.” She replied with a smile.

“Ho ho ho.” He smiled. “I just figured you've been working hard and I got things to do in town, so I can hit the bank while I'm there.”

“Thank you very much.”

“But there's one more thing.” He went to the closet that also served as his office and came back a few minutes later. “I know I was gone by time you got here and I don't feel good about just leaving these out. But could you get these to the guys as they come in?” He handed her several envelopes. “It's a bonus for the hard work they've done. I figured get them out now, in case we all got more shopping to do.”

“Sure.” She took them and placed them in her desk.

“And here's yours.” He handed her a greeting card shaped envelope. “It's my way of saying thank you.” He held out his other hand

She took the card and shook his hand. “Thank you, Chris.”

“Hey, it's Mr. Kringle to good girls.” He said and gave a good Santa laugh. “Speaking of good kids, how's your youngest.”

“Good.” She stopped herself before she slipped. Chris was one of many who didn't know about Tracy. He knew about the attacks and the extra stitches, but nothing else. “He's in Livermore visiting family friends.”

“Still getting better?” Chris asked.

Maggie nodded. “Slowly. But he'll be able to go back to school after the break.”

“Good. Sorry he got hurt.” He handed her one more envelope. “This is for your family, from my wife.” He said. “It's more for the kids, but the card is to all of you.”

“Thank you.” Maggie said. This time she went around the desk and broke a rule of contact she kept at work. She rarely did more then a hand shake, but this called for more. So she hugged Chris. “Thank you very much.”

“You're welcome.” He said. As Maggie let him go he smiled once more. “Well I need to get moving again. Got another job. If you want, you can leave at five.”

“Thank you.” She sat back at her desk and put the cards into her purse. “I'll let Troy know you asked about him.”

“Good. And tell him to be nice.” The old man headed for the door. “Not too late to change my list.” He joked as he headed out.

~o~O~o~

William had finished his shift and was on his way to the door of the mill when his boss, Steven came jogging up. “William!” He called out. “Hold up a minute!”

William stopped and waited as the man came over. “Steven. I thought you were gone already.”

“Headed out when I get home. We packed the car last night.” William started walking and the other man fell in step. “Headed to Reno tonight to pick up the wife's cousin, then it's all the way to Phoenix.”

“A bit far to drive after a full day of work, isn't it?” William looked at him for a moment, then they continued on to their cars.

“Well, I meant stay there for the night, then to Phoenix.” Steven clarified.

“Ah. Sounds like a plan.” They reached Steven's car an William stopped. “So how can I help you?”

“I was just wondering how your youngest was doing? It was the youngest that got attacked, right?” Steven asked.

William wasn't surprised that he knew. The whole plant managed to find out the day after the attack. Many of the men that worked there were on Troy's side, mostly because of the amount of information they had. William was sure it would be different if they knew what his child had been wearing. He had made sure to up-play the fact that Troy had defended his grandmother and mother, keeping all mention of Tracy to himself.

“Yeah, it was Troy.” William nodded.

“He also got hurt again, right? One of the ladies in the main office, Susan, has a kid that goes to school with him.”

“Yeah. Someone tripped him and tore out his stitches.” William replied.

“Ow. They suspend that ass?” Steven asked.

“Yeah, but not long enough.” William stated. “It's our own fault for letting Troy go back without a wheelchair, or something. Not that he could have worked it alone with just one good wrist.”

“What all happened to him, if you don't mind me asking?” Steven leaned against his car.

“I don't mind, but Troy may. Although I think he'll understand.” William took a deep breath, and let it out. The mental pains of that day were still with him. “He had a sprained wrist, pretty bad too. Plus they broke a few ribs.”

“Oh...I don't envy the pain he's in. I had broken ribs at his age too and it sucked. Was during the summer time.” Steven stated. “But at least that's easily cured, if he takes it easy. To hear what Susan was saying, it was worse.”

“It was.” William nodded. “This doesn't leave the two of us, Okay?”

“You got my word. If it's personal, maybe you should keep it to yourself.” Steven said.

“I...I need to tell someone. I know I can talk to Maggie, but she's just as emotional about this. They hurt my child, all because he caught them stealing.”

“Wait, stealing?” Steven looked up at the sky for a moment, trying to recall some of the stories he had heard.

“Yeah. He caught a kid and his friend stealing in a class. They fought and Troy and Vance got suspended, that was around Thanksgiving.”

“Ahhhh.” Steven drew out the word as he remembered the day he had called William into his office. “That's when you were having troubles with your kids, right?”

“Yeah.” William nodded.

“I hope you weren't mad that he stopped the thieving.”

William smiled and shook his head. “No. My sons made me proud that day. Troy for stopping a thief and Vance for finally sticking up for his brother. There were just other issues as well going on that I needed to work out.”

“I'm guessing you got them figured out?” Steven asked.

“Yeah.”

“So, these kids he caught stealing were the ones that came to your house?” William nodded. “So they thought they'd get revenge on his tattling on them? Steven asked, trying to figure out the whole situation.

“Yep.” William said.

“So other than the bad wrist and ribs, what else did they do?”

“They hurt him bad enough to force the doctors into an emergency orchiectomy.” William stated.

Steven's face turned a slight green color and he blinked in surprise. “Please tell me that asshole kid is in jail.”

William nodded again. “Yeah. They also attacked my mother.”

“Your...Your mother?” Steven's look of shock stayed.

“Yeah. She came out to defend Troy when they had him down.” Tears formed in William's eyes as he forced himself to recall that day. “But when they hit her, Troy got pissed. They had already done the damage to him, so how he managed to stand again is beyond me. But he managed to fight off two of them in that state, until his friend, my wife and my father got there.”

“Wow.” Steven shook his head in disbelief. If it had been anyone else, he would have refused to believe it. But it went along with some of the stories that Susan said she heard from her kids. “So when he got tripped...he tore out those stitches?”

“Yeah. All of them came out.” William answered.

“Damn.” Steven ran a hand through his hair as he tired to place himself in Troy's shoes. “Well I'll admit it, you got one strong kid there. You must be damn proud. Placing his own safety on the line for his grandmother. Wow.”

“I am proud. Troy....Troy is the kind of person I want him to be.” William said.

“Well you tell him I hope he gets better.” Steven gave William a smile.

“I will.” William nodded.

Steven stood up straight and held out his hand. “You have a good Christmas and I'll see you after the new year.”

“Yeah, see you then.” William shook Steven's hand. “Thanks for listening.”

“Not a problem. Now we should get home, before our wives send out the search parties.”

William chuckled. “Yeah. Drive safe.” He waited till his boss was in the car, then he headed for his own.

~o~O~o~

William sat at the kitchen table with his wife and Vance for dinner. Each of them seemed to have set seating arrangements. Maggie and Tracy sat on the side of the table nearest the stove. Tracy used to sit closest to the window, but since she had taken over the cooking, Maggie and her switched seats. And on the days that Maggie cooked, Tracy usually helped with dinner and dishes. Vance always took the window on the side of the table with his father. One of the up points to Tracy and Maggie switching seats was Vance couldn't start kicking wars under the table anymore, not without hitting the center support of the table.

With no Tracy there, dinner was set back till Maggie got home. It had been an easy dinner, just hotdogs in Mac and cheese. They had ate in almost silence. The only sounds that filled the kitchen were from them eating and a little radio that was playing Christmas music.

Halfway through the meal, Maggie reached over and touched her husband’s hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded as he looked up at her. “Why?”

“Because, you keep staring at Tracy's chair.” Maggie stated. “Missing her?”

“Yeah. It's just been way too quiet the past few days.” He hooked a thumb to his eldest child. “Even Vance has been too quiet.”

“Not my fault.” He said through a mouth of food. “Been helping Grandpa all day then I come home and I'm beat.”

“Good. Hard work has it's up-points.” William said with a grin.

“So are we all going to get Tro...Tracy in Livermore?” Vance asked, looking up from his food.

“Why?” William smiled at him. “Want to go see a certain little redhead?” Vance's cheeks burned a bright red and he put his attention on to his plate.

“I don't know.” Maggie replied. “I may be taking your Grandmother with me. Your Dad has to work.”

“Can I go?” Vance asked.

“I'll need to talk to Tracy about that.” Maggie replied. “If Modine goes, she'll need the front seat and Tracy may need to stretch out in the back.”

“But she will need help moving stuff.” Vance said.

“And Sage may be there.” William chuckled.

“We'll see, Vance.” Maggie said.

Next time will be Tracy's last few days in Livermore, then it's Christmas!

“Good. I don't think anyone else is awake yet.”

“Wrong.” Sage whispered near them, but loud enough for them to hear. “'Romy's been bugging me for a little bit now.”

The little girl loudly scampered over to her cousin and Tracy, then without asking, she lifted one corner of the sleeping bag and slid in and hugged Tracy. “Pway?” She said, and not in a whisper.

This caused a groan from Brooke. This was followed by a growl aimed at the little girl. “Midget, you woke me up.”

“I not mi'git.” The little girl replied.

Sage and Stacey snickered. Rachel rolled over and looked at them. “Face it, the runt's awake, no more sleeping today.”

“Not a wunt.” She stayed curled up next to Tracy.

“But Rachel, it's not even seven.” Brooke groaned. “The only lucky one here is Casey. She doesn't get to hear the kid.”

A big Thank you to Djkauf for the editing again.

More on the life of Tracy. A nice easy day this time.

NOTE: Rating slightly higher due to nudity in story

December 21st 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy woke the next morning, still in Stacey's arms. It was still dark outside the house, so Tracy didn't want to make too much noise and wake everyone up yet. It had been another night free of dreams, at least the bad ones. She was beginning to worry about going home and not having anyone who'd hold her through the night. Stacey's eyes opened up as she felt Tracy moving around.

“Hey.” She whispered. “Sleep better last night?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“Good. I don't think anyone else is awake yet.”

“Wrong.” Sage whispered near them, but loud enough for them to hear. “'Romy's been bugging me for a little bit now.”

The little girl loudly scampered over to her cousin and Tracy, then without asking, she lifted one corner of the sleeping bag and slid in and hugged Tracy. “Pway?” She said, and not in a whisper.

This caused a groan from Brooke. This was followed by a growl aimed at the little girl. “Midget, you woke me up.”

“I not mi'git.” The little girl replied.

Sage and Stacey snickered. Rachel rolled over and looked at them. “Face it, the runt's awake, no more sleeping today.”

“Not a wunt.” She stayed curled up next to Tracy.

“But Rachel, it's not even seven.” Brooke groaned. “The only lucky one here is Casey. She doesn't get to hear the kid.”

“Oh, really?” Stacey picked up a cushion from the couch and flung it at her sister, then lay back down and tried to act like she was sleeping.

The pillow struck Casey's side and she, bounced in place, then jerked up and looked around the room with wide eyes. The other girls all pointed to her sister who looked like she was sleeping. Sage got her attention and began signing to her. Casey nodded. She slid out of her sleeping bag wearing just a nightshirt that went to her knees. She crossed the room and preceded to sit down next to her sister. Then her hands went under the sleeping bag and she began to tickle her.

As Stacey began to squirm under the attack, Casey flipped the sleeping bag off her sister, then sat on her waist and kept up the barrage of tickling.

“Okay...okay.” Stacey squealed, even though her attacker couldn't hear it. Sage tapped her shoulder and quickly signed something, causing Casey to stop and get off her sister.

“Well, if you girls are awake now.” Persephone said as she leaned into the living room from the kitchen. “I'll get breakfast started.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Sage said with a smile.

“But you may want to keep it down. Let your dad get a little more sleep.” Persephone was about to go back to the kitchen when she stopped. “Oh...Sage? Happy birthday.”

This caused the other girls to copy the statement and Sage smiled. “Thanks.”

Tracy sat up and looked at Sage. “I thought that was last night?”

“Nope, it's today, but because my Uncle will be in town from Vermont, we're all going to my Grandparent’s house for my birthday. Last night was just for me and my friends.” Sage replied.

“Oh.” Tracy started to stand up.

Sage got up and went to her, dropping her voice to a whisper. “I figured you wouldn't want to meet more people. Plus they live in the hills, south of Monterey. , I don't know if your parents would allow that. So Brooke offered to show you her place, plus tomorrow night we're sleeping over there.”

“That's cool. Are Brooke's parents cool?” Tracy asked.

“You tell me? It's just her mom.” Sage stated. "There is no dad."

“Oh yeah. I forgot.” Tracy chuckled.

“You'll love her grandparents.” Sage said.

“Oh are they visiting?”

“No. They live with Brooke and her mother so they can help out.” Sage led the way to the hall where the bathroom was. “Her Grandpa is like one of those dudes from the kung fu movies. Old and wise just without the long beard.”

“Really?” Tracy smile brightened.

“Oh yeah. He's like super cool. He does that needle thing, the acupuncture? And he does massage. He's a hell of a cook, so's his wife. Plus, he teaches some forms of kung fu at his dojo thing. His wife teaches that Tai Chi that you do.”

“Awesome." Tracy smiled at the though of possibly learning more forms of fighting. She nodded slowly, also thinking of the different foods she could try. "I may get some new recipe ideas for home.”

“That's good. Now hurry before the crowds get mean.” Sage said, pushing her into the bathroom.

~o~O~o~

Tracy sat at the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate, while waiting for everyone to finish their showers and changing. She wasn't alone at the table, she was just on a mental auto pilot. Her mind went over the fun of the past few days. She began thinking about the future, about having to go back to school. She was so lost in thought that she didn't see or hear Persephone come in and sit down.

She jumped when a hand touched her free hand. “You okay in there?” Sage's mother asked.

“Don't do that.” Tracy tried to look angry, but failed. Persephone just smiled.

“Sorry. I just wanted to know if you want to talk a walk with me? I need to check the mail box at the office.” The older lady stood up and offered a hand to Tracy.

“Sure.” Tracy stood up. “Let me get my coat.” Tracy slowly headed to the living room and grabbed her coat. Sage watched her and smiled.

Persephone waited at the door as Tracy came walking up. The young girl looked over her shoulder to her new friends, then back at Sage's mother with a quizzical look. “I already told them I'd like to speak to you for a minute. I promise it's nothing bad.”

“Oh. Okay.” Tracy said, still a bit worried. She followed Persephone out the door and took her time going down the steps.

“I hear the dreams are still bugging you.” Persephone said as they headed down the road of the trailer park.

“Yeah. But not last night, or the other night here.” Tracy replied. “But then Sage and Stacey held me.”

“But you won't get that at home, will you?”

Tracy chuckled, and tried to ignore the pain in her ribs. “Only if I can convince Vance to hold me and that would be a bit creepy.”

“I see the problem.” Persephone chuckled with her. “How have you been feeling?”

“Sore still, but I'm getting better.” Tracy replied.

“Good, but not what I meant.” She lowered her voice and whispered into Tracy's ear. “I meant how are you feeling with being one of the girls?” Persephone and Tracy came to a stop.

“I love it.”She said back in a hushed tone. Her smile spoke volumes of the joy she felt. “I'm just.....”

Persephone noticed Tracy's happy attitude seemed to fall. “Just what Sweetie?”

“I don't want it to end.” Tracy stated. “I get to go home and it's Troy who is going to be at my Grandparent's place on Christmas day, just because of relations. Then when school starts again, Troy gets to go, not me.”

“I can only imagine.” Persephone said. “You've tasted the life you want, only to be forced into the one you hate.”

“Yeah.” She looked at the older woman. “So what do I do?”

“I don't know.” The only women replied. “How about that doctor you spoke to the other day? The Psychiatrist?”

“Ugh.” Tracy groaned and shook her head. If any of her happy mood had been left, it was gone now. “I hate that woman.”

Persephone didn't tell her that she had already spoken to Maggie. She wanted Tracy's own take on things. “That bad?”

“She kept calling me Troy.” Tracy sighed. “Then she kept asking why I was in the skirt, even though I told her about the stitches and how much it hurts down there.”

Persephone dropped to one knee and looked Tracy in the eyes. “Was that the only reason you had the skirt on?”

“Well no. I wanted to go as Tracy. I even told her I felt better as Tracy and she kept calling me Troy.”

“Sometimes even the professionals can't get it right.” Persephone stated.

They stated walking again and Tracy was glad that it was still early and cool enough that most people were still in their houses. “What's going to happen this summer?” Tracy asked. “I get to be me all summer, then I'm stuck back as Troy when school starts.”

“I don't know.” Persephone put a hand on Tracy's shoulder. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“More than anything.” Tracy stated.

Persephone smiled. “At least you’re sure.” Her mind was already working through plans and ideas, but she wanted to pass them by the parents, that way Tracy wouldn't get her hopes up too high. “Come on, let's get the mail and get back before they come looking for us.”

~o~O~o~

It was just past ten in the morning when Karen, Brooke's mother showed up to collect her daughter and Tracy. Rachel had gone her own way due to family plans and Stacey and Casey were going with their cousin, so it left Tracy in Brooke's care for the day.

They headed to the highway and Brooke leaned forward “Mom? Where are we going?”

“I've got some shopping to do before we go home. And I figured you girls would like to catch lunch out.” Karen replied.

“Really? Where at?” Brooke asked.

“Big Boy.” Karen said as she headed towards Dublin.

“Awesome.” Brooke smiled.

“Anywhere you two want to go to?” Karen glanced in the mirror at the girls, then back at the road.

“Not really.” Tracy replied.

“Music store?” Brooke gave her mother a huge grin.

“We'll see how busy the mall is before we go inside, okay?” Karen said as they got off the highway.

~o~O~o~

[Back in the Town of Oroville]

Maggie sat at her desk, once again enjoying the quiet of the office while she ate her lunch. Once again she had both pictures of her family on her desk. She didn't know why she kept comparing them. She had seen it in Tracy's face already.

She was halfway through her sandwich when the phone rang. She chewed quickly as she picked up the handset, swallowed and spoke. “Wright Cleaning, This is Maggie, how may I help you?”

“Maggie, this is Persephone.” The voice on the other end said. Maggie's mother mode kicked in fast and she dropped the rest of her sandwich back onto the Ziploc bag.

“What's wrong? Is Tracy okay? Do I need to come get her?” Maggie reached for a pen and paper, in case she needed an address.

“Slow down Maggie. There's nothing wrong. I just wanted to talk to you.” Persephone chuckled slightly. She knew she would have reacted the same way.

“She's not being a pest, is she?”

“Not at all. In fact Lilian and Lynn have all said she's been on her best behavior. She's due at Karen's tonight. There's been no complaints from us, or we would have called Shelly by now.” Persephone stated.

“Oh that's good.” Maggie relaxed. “So...um...why the call then?”

“I wanted to talk to you about your daughter. I know you're at work and I don't want to get you in trouble, so I was wondering if I could have a few moments with you at my place, before you go to pick her up on Thursday? She's opened up to me a little and I wanted to pass on the information to you.”

“Sure, I guess. We'll be in town tomorrow evening and staying with Shelly. Modine is coming with us and she doesn't feel like a six hour trip.” Maggie said.

“I can understand. Well then maybe I'll go see you when all the girls are at Karen's tomorrow evening.” Persephone stated.

“You sure it's nothing bad? Because if it's bad you can call when I get home tonight.” Maggie said.

“I would, but we've got a family thing going on tonight, that's why I called now.” Persephone replied.

“Oh....where's Tracy at?”

“She's with Brooke's family. You got the address the other day. Lilian and I are taking our girls to the family thing and that left Rachel and Brooke. Rachel also had something going on, so Brooke offered a night at her place. It was either that or Shelly's and we thought Tracy would like another night with the girls...well one of them at least.”

“Well I just wouldn't want to have her wear out her welcome too quickly.” Maggie said.

“She isn't. Trust me, the girls are taking to her like ducks to water.” Maggie could hear background chatter and Persephone was quiet for a moment. The phone became muffled, then she heard the other woman again. “Maggie? I need to get going. I'll see you at Shelly's tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Maggie replied. “Thank you for the call, Persephone.”

~o~O~o~

Even though she wasn't exactly sure where she was at first, that changed when they had passed the trailer park that Sage lived in. Tracy had been slightly surprised to find that Brooke only lived about a quarter of a mile from Rachel and her house bordered the Trailer park Sage lived in. They pulled into the drive of a two story home on a cul-de-sac. It seemed to be a quiet road, even though it was just a stone’s throw to the highway. To their side looked a large two story home, with a small structure on the top and a barn in the back and a for sale sign on the lawn.

Tracy watched as Brooke raced her way up the ramp attached to the porch. Karen pushed Tracy up the ramp as an older gentleman of Asian descent came out and smiled at them. “Grandfather!” Brooke said in an excited voice. She leaned forward and the old man gave her a hug.

He began to speak in Chinese. Brooke giggled and responded, speaking as quickly as the old man did. After a moment or two, he looked towards Tracy. “You must be Tracy.” His voice was thick with accent as he talked. His smile never wavered. He gave her a slight bow and held it, till she mirrored him, as best as she could in the chair.

“Yes sir, I am.” She replied.

“And with good manners, too. You must make your parents very proud.” He kept smiling at her.

“I try my best, sir.” She nodded.

“I am Lok, but you may call me Mr. Han. I am Karen's father and Brooke's grandfather."

“Come on, Father.” Karen said. “Let's get them inside and I'll grab their bags.”

“I've got her.” He said as he moved to grab Tracy's wheelchair. He began pushing her inside and watching his granddaughter race into the house. “So tell me, are there any foods you won't eat? You do eat rice, right? We eat a lot of Noodle and rice dishes here.”

“I love rice.” She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Mom used to make a noodle dish for the longest time, but then she got busy with work and she can't cook as much, so I am taking over the cooking in the house. When I asked her for it, she can't find the recipe anywhere, which sucks because she got it from a Chinese restaurant near our place.”

“Well maybe I could help you remember the recipe and you can cook it at home.”

“That would be great!” Tracy beamed from her seat.

“My Granddaughter tells me you also study Tai Chi?” He asked.

“Yes, sir, since I was about seven or eight.” She replied.

“Very good. And Brooke told me you got hurt while fighting at the start of the month?” He pushed her wheelchair into the kitchen. He pulled out three cups from the cupboard and looked at her. “You drink tea?”

“Yes, sir.” Tracy nodded. She leaned back in her chair, unaware that Brooke was next to her. “It wasn't really a fight.” She started, then she corrected herself. “Well it was, but I didn't want it.”

“Tell me about it.” He said as he started to heat up a tea kettle on the stove.

“Well it's kind of a long story. It started before the fight in December.” Tracy stated.

“Then start there. All stories should start at the beginning.” He spoke, using a very grandfatherly tone.

So Tracy began to tell him the story about Bruce and finding him stealing from the classrooms around Thanksgiving. She covered, if only briefly, her visit to Livermore and meeting Rachel and Sage. She went on to talk about the attack, skipping the part of the attempted rape.

When she finished Brooke rolled up and put a hand on her arm, causing Tracy to jump in her seat. “Tracy, tell him all of the story.”

She looked at Brooke. “Wh...why?”

“He can help with the nightmares.” Brooke replied. “I used to have them all the time after the accident.”

“My Granddaughter has told me of night terrors that are bothering you, but she didn't say what caused them.” He said as he kept working on the tea.

Tracy sighed and began to tell him the parts she had skipped. She decided it was pointless to fight it. He knew they were happening and if he had a way to help, she'd take it. She decided to explain the dreams as well. In the telling of the tale, he could see the guilt she felt about the attack. She stopped when she noticed that the old man had pushed a cup in front of her.

“You feel guilty for fighting back, don't you?” The old man asked.

“Yes, a little.” Tracy lowered her gaze to the cup of steaming tea.

“Don't. It's true that fighting should be the last resort, but even a hare bites when it's cornered.”

Tracy looked up and stared at him with a quizzical expression for a moment. “What?”

"Even a hare bites when it is cornered.” Brooke's grandfather repeated. “It means that even the most gentle of creatures will defend themselves when they have to.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then she took a drink. As she put the cup down, she looked up. “Soooo.” She held onto the vowel sound for a moment as her mind worked over what he was saying. “What you're saying is it was okay to fight then?”

“In that situation, yes. You tried to talk them out of a fight, correct?” Lok asked.

“Yes sir. I tried, but Bruce....he wanted....” Tracy bit her lip and looked away.

“Some people won't listen to reason. Had he listened to you, I doubt you'd be in that chair and he wouldn't be in jail....well not because of his attack on you. But he didn't. That's something you can't help. You have no power over the decisions of others. You did what anyone would have done. You defended yourself and tried to run, but they followed.”

Tracy nodded and her gaze went back to the cup. She took another drink and Lok continued. “Have you spoken to your teacher yet?”

“The Principal of my school knows. I don't know if the teachers know everything yet.” Tracy replied.

“Not that teacher. Your Tai Chi Master.” Lok picked up his own cup with one hand.

“Not yet. I've been doing a lot of lying around and healing after getting tripped.” Tracy stated.

“Then when you get home, you should set a meeting to talk to him. Tell him everything you told me and see if he agrees. But don't take the blame for this. You have no reason to feel shame.” He stated.

“Really?” Tracy asked.

Instead of answering right away, Lok leaned over the table and flicked Tracy's cheek. She sat up, startled and stared at him. He cocked his head slightly to one side and asked. “Did you have any control over me doing that?”

“No.” Tracy shook her head.

“Should you feel guilty for it?” He asked.

Tracy thought about it for a moment and shook her head again. “No, I guess not.”

“Then why should you take blame for the boy who attacked you?”

Tracy thought about it for a moment. She knew stealing was wrong. Despite what people would think about her for tattling, she was glad she told the Principal. But it was the skirt that seemed to drive Bruce crazy. “Because I had on a skirt?”

“Girls wear them.” He replied with a gesture of his hand. “Should he be allowed to attack any women who wears one?”

Tracy thought about it for a moment. “No, I guess not. But...” She paused and looked to Brooke, then at the old man. “I wasn't born a girl.” She knew the parents all knew about her male parts, but she didn't know if Brooke's grandparents knew.

“And.....?” The old man waited for a better answer. When none came, he leaned forward and smiled. “It doesn't matter what you were wearing. He was going to attack you either way. Why else would he have shown up with three friends. You yourself said that one left when he saw what the boy planned, after they saw the skirt. So no matter what, he was planning to hurt you. You have the right to defend yourself. It wouldn’t have mattered if you had on shorts, a skirt, a dress, or nothing. He was going to attack you.”

Tracy stayed quiet as she worked it over in her mind. He had said he was going to kick her ass anyway. She could recall the look on his face when he had said it. Lok could see the comprehension cross her face and he smiled, then put a hand on one of hers. “You understand now.”

“Yeah.” She nodded and her lips pulled into a small smile. “So I shouldn't feel guilty? But then why won’t the dreams go away.”

“That's a bit different. Your dreams may not be about guilt. You were attacked.” He said as he took the tea pot and re-filled his cup. “It is like soldiers who go to war. They have dreams about what happened.”

“Can you stop them?” Tracy asked.

“That I can't do. But we can try and help you deal with them. Or find ways to control them.” He replied. “But for now, enjoy the tea and relax. Have some fun and we can talk after dinner.”

“Okay. Thank you sir.” Tracy said with a smile.

~o~O~o~

It was after dinner and Tracy, Brooke, Lok and his wife, Jiao sat at the table with recipe cards all over the table. Tracy sat there with a notebook, while Brooke read off the ingredients and directions that were in Chinese. Tracy had three piles going, one was the stuff she wanted and another other was stuff she really wanted. The third was things that she was sure would never make it at their place. So far six recipes had made it into the really want pile. She wanted to stop at just one more, the rest she could get in the summer.

They had already started with the beef chow fun that they had for dinner. Tracy looked up from the most recent of recipes that had been told to her and she leaned back in her seat. “Thank you again for this.” She said to Lok and his wife.

“We don't mind. Hopefully you can find a place near your hometown that can sell some of the harder to find ingredients, but I have hope.” Lok said as he got up to fix some tea. “One more thing. I will give a list to your mother. It is teas and herbs that will help curb the nightmares, but remember, you have to be a part of this too. You got to be strong of mind for them to work, okay?”

“Yes sir.” She nodded at him.

“And when you are able to exercise again, do so before bed. Tire yourself out. That will help the tea work.”

“I will.” She replied with a nod.

“Hey, this one has promise.” Brooke held up a card for Tracy to see.

“I can't read that. What does it say?”

“It's Fried pork with spring onions.” Brooke said, as she looked over the ingredients. “I love this one. You get to soak the pork in rice wine, then fry it up.”

“Wine? I don't think my parents will let me have that. I don't think they'll let us drink yet.” Tracy stated.

“You don't drink it. You cook with it.” Brooke replied.

“Tracy.” Lok called from the stove. “The alcohol burns off. You just have the flavor. I can explain it to your mother if you think she'd be against it, but she may know about cooking with it already.”

“Well, if it burns off, then we should be fine.” Tracy stated. “What's the ingredients?” She asked as she picked up her pencil.

As Brooke read off the ingredients, Tracy took the notes as quickly as she could. Lok brought the tea pot over to the table and filled up four cups. She waited for Brooke to finish, then she put down her pencil and picked up the cup and took a drink. “Thank you, sir.”

“You're welcome.” He replied as he took his seat again. “Come on, let’s find one more recipe for you. I have a good one for you.” He began shuffling through the stack. “Ah, yes. Braised Beef, Shan-see style.” He said, his accent becoming a bit thicker.

“Shan-see?” Tracy looked up from her cup. “What's that?”

“A province in Northern China.” Lok replied. “It is spelled differently, but that's how it's pronounced.” He handed the card to his granddaughter and let the girls get busy with the translation.

~o~O~o~

Tracy was walking into Brooke's bedroom after a quick change into a sleep shirt that went to just above her knees. A second or two later, Brooke rolled into the room. Her's was the only room on the first floor of the house. The room was a bit larger then Rachel's or Sage's. It had been the den, until her accident. Now it had a double bed on one wall, a desk with no chair, plus a TV in one corner. The walls were a forest green. Tracy's wheelchair was in there already.

Brooke went past her, patting her hip as she passed. “You know you don't have to hide in the bathroom to change. I'm not going to judge or comment.”

“I....” Tracy sat in her wheelchair, just to keep out of the way. She watched her feet for a moment, wishing she hadn't been born the way she was. “I just don't want people seeing my body like this.”

“None of us will care.” Brooke replied, stopping by her dresser. “But I can understand. Sage is the same way.”

Tracy looked up as Brooke pulled off her shirt, showing a white bra underneath. She removed that too and tossed both garments into a nearby hamper. Tracy's eyes stayed on her friends chest for a moment. As Brooke started to lift up one side of her hips to remove her jeans. Tracy's cheeks went red, but she couldn't look away. She wasn't sure why. Then from below her waist, she felt a slight stirring, as something began to grow. She only turned her head when Brooke looked over at her.

“Oh....Sorry Tracy.” Brooke said with a chuckle. “I'm just used to being around Rachel, Casey and Stacey. We've changed in front of each other, a lot. I'll warn ya when I'm done.”

Tracy looked over as Brooke slid her jeans off. She got a good view of her profile. “Sorry, I'm...” She looked away again. “I've...it's stupid I guess.”

“No. You don't want that body, it's not stupid. I can understand that. And not everyone is comfortable being with naked people, or being naked themselves.” Brooke looked over as Tracy tried to sneak another peek.

“Like you?” Tracy asked as she could see Brooke's mostly bare hips through the gaps on the side of the wheelchair.

Brooke shrugged. “I didn't have much choice. After my accident, I saw so many doctors and those gowns they give you don't cover much. I learned to just put up with it. But Rachel, Stacey and Casey are different. They don't view me as a piece of meat. I'm not just an account. They are my friends who I love dearly.” She turned to face Tracy better and Tracy blushed as she realized that she was just wearing panties. Tracy's eyes did a quick once over of the mostly naked girl, pausing at key parts that she didn't have on her own body. “And honestly, you are one of my friends now.” Brooke placed her pants onto her lap.

“It's...I've never seen a naked person before, well that I remember. And at school some of the boys are all talking about how hot a girl looks and Sage and Rachel talk about the cute boys, I....” Tracy trailed off and looked to the floor, but her eyes kept drifting back up. She covered her lap with her hands. “I don't know what I like.”

Comprehension crossed Brooke's face and she nodded as the thoughts worked their way out. “So, you want to know if you like girls?”

Tracy nodded. “You're not mad, are you?”

“No, not really.” Brooke said as she tossed her jeans into the hamper and pulled out her sleep clothes from the dresser. “So, do you like girls?”

“I don't know.” Tracy answered as she looked at Brooke again. “I mean you look good, but I'm more jealous that you look that good, you know, with the boobs and stuff and I don't have it.” Tracy looked away as her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. But there was a part of her that enjoyed seeing Brooke naked. Her eyes drifted back to her friend once more.

Brooke pulled a pair of pajama pants up her legs, taking the time to lift up in the wheelchair, then she slid on her night gown, then rolled over to Tracy. “Then we're even.” She said. “You got your legs and I don't.” She realized what she had said as she said it and guilt began to well up in her.

“Oh...I mean...I didn't....” Tracy sighed and slumped down in her chair. “I didn't mean to make it seem like there was nothing wrong with you...”

Brooke leaned over and put a hand against her cheek. “It's okay I shouldn't have said what I said, well not like how I did. I know what you're saying.” She backed up her chair and held her arms out. “Come here.” Tracy got out of her wheelchair and leaned forward, into the hug that Brooke offered.

They were quiet for a few moments, till she stood up. “Thank you for not being mad.”

“No problem. I gave up being mad over stupid shit a while ago. At least when it comes to my legs.” Brooke smiled brightly, then she fought the urge to blush as she noticed a slight bulge in Tracy's crotch and she began to suspect that her friend hadn't been completely honest with her, but she decided to not push the subject. “Besides, I bet I'm a better basketball player then you are.”

“I wouldn't doubt it.” Tracy replied.

“So, would you like to share my bed tonight?” Brooke asked, her cheeks turning a deeper shade of red as she realized what she had said. Tracy saw the change in color, but didn't say anything. “You seem to sleep better in peoples arms.”

“If you don't mind.” Tracy replied.

“Not at all, but you get the wall. It's easier for me to roll into my chair.” Brooke stated.

“Will your mom and Grandparents mind? I mean I'm not fully a girl yet.” Tracy said.

Brooke nodded. “I told them when you were changing. Stacey and Sage's mothers have told them about the dreams. So Mom expected it. Grandmother was a bit leery, but mom told her that you couldn't do anything if you wanted. But we got to keep our clothes on.”

Tracy snickered. “Not a problem.”

“Awww. I'm not cute enough for you?” Brooke teased. Tracy's mouth opened up and she was about to speak when Brooke put a finger over her lips. “Kidding. It was a joke.”

“Oh.” Tracy gave a quiet sigh of relief.

The two girls went over to the bed, pulled back the blankets and sheets. Then Tracy climbed in. watched as Brooke got out of her chair on her own and shifted her body, using her arms to the bed. When she moved to help, Brooke glared for a second and shook her head. “I got this.”

“Okay.” Tracy said. She watched in amazement as Brooke moved fully on the bed without a problem. Then she looked up. “Brooke? Want me to get the light?”

“Crud.” Brooke said. “Please?”

Tracy crawled over the bed and reached to the light switch near the end of the bed. When the light was out she was surprised to find there was a nightlight near the bed. Brooke saw her looking at it. She waited till Tracy laid back down.

“Sorry about the nightlight, I use it so I can find the wheelchair in the middle of the night if I need the bathroom.”

“Oh. That's cool. Beats reaching around in the dark.” Tracy smiled at her. “I swear Vance likes to get up and move stuff around when I'm sleeping.”

“Sounds like something a brother would do.” Brooke replied in a sad tone.

Brooke laid on her side, reached down to physically move a leg, then she touched Tracy's side. Tracy moved in closer and held the other girl. “Thank you for this.”

“No problem. I'd rather hold you then have my mom and grandparents come bursting into the room if you had a dream.” Brooke stated.

Tracy lat there for a moment, looking over Brooke as the other girl stared back at her. “Can I ask a question?” Tracy said after a few moments.

“What is it?” Brooke asked.

“Do you like girls?” Tracy asked. “I don't care, I was just wondering 'cause we were talking 'bout it earlier.”

Brooke smiled again. “I think so.” She stated. “I mean I have guys I have feelings for too, so I think I like both.”

“I wish I knew what I was feeling.” Tracy replied.

“Give it time. I'm almost twelve. I've had time to figure things out while I got better.” Brooke said. “Besides, you got more going on than who you like.”

“I guess you're right.” Tracy stated.

“It's my gift.” Brooke giggled.

~o~O~o~

December 22nd 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy woke up before the sun and had to answer the call of nature. She was thankful that the house wasn't full of people so she wouldn't have to wait. As she sat up, she noticed that Brooke wasn't in bed with her and her wheelchair was already out of the room. She quietly made her way to the bathroom and stepped in. A few minutes later, as she stepped out of the bathroom, Brooke came rolling up to her, still in just a nightgown and pajama pants.

The girl in the chair smiled at her. “Hey, I wanna show you something.”

“Okay....” Tracy looked at her, wondering what it could be. She followed Brooke through the house and into the kitchen. Once there they went to the sliding glass door and she gestured for Tracy to come closer.

Brooke carefully opened up the door and rolled out onto the porch. Tracy followed, stopping long enough to shut the sliding door. They went to the end of the porch and Tracy could see Brooke's grandmother, Jiao, in the middle of the yard, going through the paces of Tai Chi. She wore the type of uniform that Tracy wore to her own classes, the loose pants and the shirt that buttoned down in the front, like the ones Bruce Lee seemed to wear in every movie, but Jiao's was silk. The thing that really caught her attention, was the fan that was in the old woman's hand. Tracy knew people could use weapons in Tai Chi, but she had never seen a fan being used.

She became mesmerized by the movements. The gentle swaying of the hands, then a fast popping of the wrist, causing the fan to snap out. Brooke was watching, and trying to mimic the movements of her grandmother, but without the leg movements, it seemed out of place. They stood there in silence watching the older lady do her workout.

Tracy watched, wishing she could have joined in. Once more she swore internally at Bruce. She could have been having a lot of fun the past few days, but she had felt like she was dragging everyone down. Sure, She knew Brooke was in a chair too, but she had control over it. With her wrist just finally getting better, she could barely move it on her own.

“I wish I could do that stuff.” Brooke whispered loud enough for Tracy to hear. “I mean I can move my arms, but it's not the same.”

Tracy looked at her for a moment. She felt guilty for what had happened, even though it wasn't her fault. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.” Brooke replied. “I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but it does.”

“You didn't have to bring me out here.” Tracy said.

“I don't mind. You said you’re into that and I doubt you'd ever seen someone use a fan before.”

“Thank you. It is...” she watched for a moment and she smiled. “It's really cool. My teacher wont let me work with weapons yet.”

“Give it time.” Brooke said.

“Yeah. I just hate waiting” Tracy sighed.

“Me too.” Brooke nodded.

Ok, so I lied. One more day of Livermore, then off to Palermo CA.

“I had a talk with her yesterday morning. She actually opened up to me and I felt you needed to know about it.” Shelly came out and handed a can of soda to her. Persephone opened it up and took a quick sip. “She's had so much fun the past few days, she's dreading having to be Troy for Christmas.”

“When the family is up?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah. She understands that Troy is a necessary evil, but she hates it. She gets to be who she wants now, but when school starts again, she has to hide herself under the guise of Troy and she hates it.”

“I don't know if there's much we can do for her.” Maggie replied. “If we let her go to that school, as Tracy, the abuse she'd suffer...” Maggie let the sentence hang. The others knew the possibilities.

“How did the meeting with that therapist go before you came down?”

Maggie shook her head. “It didn't. She spent most of the time calling her Troy and asking why he had worn a skirt.”

“Maggie? Could I offer a suggestion?” Persephone asked as she leaned back in the couch.

Thanks to Djkauf for the Editing

Last part of Livermore for a while. But not the end of Tracy and her friends

Note: Rating gone up slightly due to a little issue brought in at the end

December 22nd 1982
Livermore CA

It had been a good drive down to Livermore. Maggie had talked Modine into getting out of the house. She just knew that the older lady needed to take it easy. They had left just after noon, so Maggie was able to put a few hours in at work. She allowed Vance to ride along, mostly so someone could strong arm the wheelchair into the trunk. The talk on the way down was the typical stuff. Family, friends, the upcoming holidays and teasing Vance about Sage.

They pulled into the parking lot for Shelly's townhouse and Maggie shut off the car. A couple of parking spots over sat Lynn's car, Lilian's car and Persephone's bus. Maggie smiled at that and got out of the car. “Son, I need you to grab our bags, okay?”

“Sure, Mom.” He replied as he got out of the car and went to the trunk. He followed his grandmother and mother around to the front door of the house.

“Should have guessed they'd all be here.” Maggie said as she knocked.

“Who?” Modine asked.

“Persephone, Lynn and Lilian.” Maggie replied “I just expected Persephone.”

“Maybe they all wanted to talk, away from the girls.” Modine shrugged.

“Possibly.” Maggie gave a slight nod as they heard the door lock being undone.

“Maggie.” Persephone said as she opened up the door to Shelly's house. “Modine.” Vance came up and she could see what he was wearing. A nice button down shirt and clean khaki pants. “Hello Vance. May you look nice today. But Sage isn't here.” He didn't reply, but his cheeks turned a bright red.

“”Where are the girls?” Maggie asked.

“They're at the local high school right now, watching Brooke and her team practice, so we have some time.” Persephone held the door to the house open and gestured inside.

“Team?” Maggie asked.

“Basketball. She's on a youth league team.” Persephone replied.

“Youth team? It's not connected to the school?” Modine asked as she went in.

“Brooke is a paraplegic. She's on a team for paraplegic kids. They are quite good. I think they're near the top of their age level for the central part of the state.”

“Oh. I see.” Modine nodded. “sounds like an interesting girl.”

“She's pretty interesting. But then all of them are.” Persephone said with a grin.

Modine went inside and Maggie stopped at Persephone for a moment. “How has she been?”

“She's had a few bad nights, from what I was told.” Persephone replied.

“Oh.” Maggie was silent for a moment . “I'll take it the nightmares have stayed?”

“Yes.” Lilian answered from the living room.

“Yeah. They got worse, too. She ran into two girls that she goes to school with. That girl from the hospital? Mary...Mary something, I forgot the other part to her name.” Persephone said.

“Mary Beth?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah, that's her.” Lilian said with a nod

“Crap. So she knows about Tracy?” Maggie asked.

Persephone went to one of the couches and took a seat. Modine and Maggie followed. “Yeah, but there's good news. Their Aunt is the receptionist for Sage's therapist. Lilian and her all talked to the girls to show them why they needed to keep quiet.”

“That's good. So they won't talk?” Maggie leaned back in her seat.

“Not that I know of.” Lilian replied. “I know your daughter had a new dream and it was about people finding out.”

“I can understand that.” Maggie said.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Shelly asked from the kitchen. “We can discuss the past few days with a nice snack.”

“That would be great.” Modine smiled at the shorter woman. “You need help with that?”

“I got it Modine, but thank you.” Shelly replied. She looked at the boy near the door. “Vance, I'll get you a soda, if you can get those bags to the guest rooms.”

“Okay.” He said as he started up the steps. Maggie and Modine took seats on the loveseat closest to the door.

“So has Tracy been good?” Maggie asked.

“Good as gold at my place.” Lynn replied. “The dream woke us up, but it's okay.”

“She had one at my place, too.” Lilian replied. “But we also had those other girls there. From what Sage told me, she dreamed that she was at school and everyone knew.”

“She didn't have one at my place.” Persephone stated. “Not bad enough to cause her to wake up.”

“Really?” Maggie asked. “What happened differently?”

“Sage held her the first night they were at my place. I looked in on them as I was about to go to bed and Tracy was curled up into a ball in her arms. Not last night, but Monday night, Stacey held her. She slept the whole night in their arms. It's a safe bet that being held is helping calm her mind.”

“That's good, but I don't know about that when we get home.” Maggie said.

“Well, Lok, he's Brooke's grandfather, he's trying herbal remedies and Chinese wisdom to help her out.” Persephone replied.

“I know the girls have got her something for Christmas. They were hoping it will take the place of one of them.” Lynn stated.

“What is it?” Maggie asked.

“A large stuffed bear.” Lynn said with a smile.

“Here's hoping.” Maggie nodded.

“But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.” Persephone leaned forward. “Maggie, what would happen if Tracy stays? How would you and William handle it?”

“Honestly, I think we could take it very well.” Maggie replied. “Why?”

“I had a talk with her yesterday morning. She actually opened up to me and I felt you needed to know about it.” Shelly came out and handed a can of soda to her. Persephone opened it up and took a quick sip. “She's had so much fun the past few days, she's dreading having to be Troy for Christmas.”

“When the family is up?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah. She understands that Troy is a necessary evil, but she hates it. She gets to be who she wants now, but when school starts again, she has to hide herself under the guise of Troy and she hates it.”

“I don't know if there's much we can do for her.” Maggie replied. “If we let her go to that school, as Tracy, the abuse she'd suffer...” Maggie let the sentence hang. The others knew the possibilities.

“How did the meeting with that therapist go before you came down?”

Maggie shook her head. “It didn't. She spent most of the time calling her Troy and asking why he had worn a skirt.”

“Maggie? Could I offer a suggestion?” Persephone asked as she leaned back in the couch.

“Sure.” Maggie replied. “Anything if it helps my child.”

~o~O~o~

The girls made their way back into the house with a very tired Brooke. They made their way into the kitchen and sat about the table. Rachel and Sage took over and grabbed glasses for everyone out of the cupboard, then began filling them with water and handing them out. As Tracy got hers, the phone rang and Brooke looked around the room for her mother. It rang a second time and Brooke wheeled herself over to the phone and picked it up. “Han residence. Brooke speaking.” The rest of the girls just sat at the table while Brooke talked. They all looked over when they heard her say. “Yeah, she's here.” She held the phone out and smiled. “Tracy, phone's for you.”

Tracy got up and slowly went to the phone, then took it from Brooke and cautiously held it to her ear, as though whoever was on the other end was going to attack her. “Hello? This is Tracy.”

“Well hello, young lady.” Maggie's voice sounded in her ear. “How are you doing?”

Tracy smiled brightly. “I'm fine, Mama. We just got back from a basketball game.”

“So I heard.” Her mother stated. “Have you been enjoying yourself?”

“Yes. I've had lots of fun so far.”

“I heard that too.” Maggie was silent for a moment, then she asked. “Sweetie, do you have anything planned for tomorrow morning?”

“Not really. Why?” Tracy asked.

“I'm actually in town and I was wondering if you'd like to talk to someone...someone who maybe can help us out with you wanting to be Tracy.” Maggie said.

“Like another therapist?” Tracy groaned for a moment and her shoulders slumped. “I...will they be like that woman in Chico?”

“I asked the same question, but Persephone told me to have you ask Sage what she thinks of her therapist.” Maggie replied.

“Um....okay?” Tracy held the phone away from her ear and looked at Sage and the girls who were all looking at her, wondering what was going on. “Sage? My mom asked me to ask you what you think of your therapist?”

“Doctor Ivan?” The happiness in her voice was matched with her bright smile. “He's totally awesome. Why? Is your mom going to take you to him?”

“I don't know.” Tracy put the phone against her ear and sat on a stool next to the phone. “She likes him. Why?”

“Because you have an appointment tomorrow morning at eight. Persephone managed to talk him into coming in early for you.” Maggie replied. “I know it's short notice, but she explained a lot of what has been happening in your life to him.”

“Really?” Tracy's spirits picked up again. “So I may be able to be Tracy all the time?”

“One step at a time dear. But this should be a better step then the last one.” Maggie told her.

“So are you coming to get me tonight?” Tracy asked. By this time Sage had come over to the phone and was waiting patiently.

Maggie chuckled. “Not at all. We'll pick you up at about eight. Then we'll try for a lunch with all your friends before we leave town, okay?”

Sage began tapping her shoulder till she looked at her. “Are you leaving?”

“No. But she's got me an appointment tomorrow morning with your therapist guy.” Tracy smiled at her. “I get to stay for the night, then we can all have lunch before I leave for home.”

“Ask your mother if I can go.” Sage said, she held her hands up in a begging motion.

“Sage wants to know if she can come along. In fact she's begging.” Tracy asked. “Can she? I mean she knows him, may help out.”

“Persephone said to expect that.” Maggie chuckled. Tracy could hear the phone moving and her mother called out. “You're right, Sage asked.” There was a few voices in the background, then Maggie spoke up again. “Her mother said yes.”

“Awesome.” Tracy nodded her head at Sage who hugged her tightly.

“And as an added surprise, your Grandmother is with me.” Maggie stated.

“Grandma too?!?” Tracy squealed with delight. She looked to her friends at the table who were looking on in confusion. “My grandma is in town with my mother. You get to meet her tomorrow!”

Once she was sure her daughter was paying attention again, Maggie chuckled over the phone. “Tracy, I need to let you go. I'll see you and Sage at seven tomorrow morning. But before you hang up, put Karen on the phone, Persephone wants to talk to her.”

~o~O~o~

December 23rd 1982

It was just before seven in the morning when Maggie and Persephone pulled up to Karen's house. Modine had stayed with Shelly and Vance. They went up to the door and as Maggie's finger was about to touch the doorbell, when the door whipped open, revealing Sage. “You're here!”

“Um...yeah.” Maggie said, blinking at the door. “Where's Tracy?”

“She's getting ready. She's almost done.”” Sage turned and gestured them to follow. Karen came around the corner and smiled at them.

“Maggie!” She went over an hugged the woman. “I keep good thoughts for her appointment today. Just let us know if this becomes a monthly thing and we can find ways to put Tracy up for a night. I know my Father has taken a shine to her.”

“Really?” Maggie looked stunned.

“Oh yeah. He does a lot of the cooking in the house and Brooke has never taken an interest in it. So to have a girl to pass on family recipes to, means he's happy.”

“She hasn't been bugging him for recipes, has she?” Maggie asked.

“Not at all. They got to talking about food the other day and it went on to different recipes and stuff like that.” Karen led them to the living room where the girls are sat.

Tracy had her back to the door, while Brooke and Stacey each worked on doing her hair up in braided pigtails that fell almost to her neckline. “And we're done.” Brooke said as she rolled her wheelchair back.

Tracy stood up and turned around, then she moved as fast as she could, which wasn't all that fast. She wrapped her arms around her mother and hugged her tightly. “Hello, Mama!”

“Hello, baby.” Maggie replied. “Having fun I see?”

“Oh yeah.” Tracy nodded. “So how do I look?” She asked. She had on her nicest skirt and a matching shirt. There was no makeup on her face.

“Very pretty.” Maggie said with a smile.

“Thank you.” She let go of her mother and swayed her hips to each side.

“But we should get going.” Maggie said. “I promise to drop you off when we're done.”

“Okay, Mama.”

~o~O~o~

Tracy sat in a chair next to Sage. There was no music playing over the speakers in the waiting room. It was just quiet. Tracy was glad that they were the only ones there at the moment. Her stomach was doing flips as she sat there, worrying about what would happen. Sage sat there, reading one of the many magazines that littered the table in the center of the waiting room.

“It's going to be fine.” Sage said as she looked over to her friend once more.

“I know, but why did he want to see my Mother first?” Tracy asked.

“He does that with my Mom too. He wants to hear from an adult, then he'll talk to you, then you and your mother.”

“Okay. But why did your mother go in too?” Tracy asked.

“I think it's about what you talked about the other day.” Sage replied. “I really don't know.”

“Do you think he'll let you go in with me?”

Sage shrugged as Persephone came out. “Who knows?” The older woman walked over and took a seat next to her daughter. “Is it her turn yet?” Sage asked.

“No. He wanted to talk to Maggie alone before he talks to Tracy.” Persephone picked up a magazine on woman’s health and began flipping pages.

“Do you think he'll let me go in there with Tracy?” Sage asked.

“You can ask, but I wouldn't push it. I'll bet he wants to hear from her and see how she is on her own.”

Tracy leaned past Persephone. “Why did you go in there with Mom?”

Persephone put the magazine on her lap and looked at Tracy. “To be honest, I wanted to tell him about our talk the other day.”

“Oh.” Tracy replied. “Should I tell him anything?”

“Yes.” Persephone smiled at her. “Tell him the truth. Tell him how you feel about everything. And nothing less then that.”

~o~O~o~

Maggie came out of the back office, dabbing at her eyes with a Kleenex. The Doctor, a man with salt and pepper hair came out with her an pointed to a bathroom. “You can clean up in there.” He said in a whisper. “I'll call you back in a few minutes, okay?”

“Okay.” Maggie sniffled.

“Tracy?” The man gestured to her. “Come on back.”

“Can Sage come with me?” Tracy asked.

“In a little bit.” He replied. He watched her expression fall a bit and he went over to her and dropped to one knee. “I'll bring her in, but I want to cover some things with just you, okay? No one knows you better, than you.”

“It's okay. I can wait my turn.” Sage gave her a nod. “Go on, tell him everything.”

Tracy gave her a halfhearted smile and followed the doctor into the back office. On one side of the room was a desk. The other side had a couch and a chair facing another chair. He took the chair facing the couch and gestured for her to take the couch. She straightened out her skirt before she sat down. Her legs crossed just above the ankles.

“So, Tell me a little about yourself, Tracy.” He said as he pulled out a notebook and began to write. “Just the little things right now. What do you like to do, friends, family, stuff like that.” He watched her out for little clues and gestures.

“Okay.” Tracy replied. She leaned back in the chair, trying to relax and failing at it. “I like to cook. My Grandma and Mama have been teaching me how to. I like to ride my bike, but I can't right now.”

He nodded slightly. “Because of your injury?”

“Yeah. Did Mom tell you about that?” She asked.

“She covered some of it, but we'll get to that soon. Right now I want to know about you. Do you do anything else? Sports? Reading? Skydiving?” He smiled at the last one and she chuckled.

“No I don't skydive. I mean I read. I like to read too. I ride my bike too. I don't really do any sports, other than Tai Chi.” Tracy replied. He noticed her smile dipped, but got stronger.

“Tell me about that. Why did you pick that style.”

“Well Dad made my brother and me take up a style of fighting. Vance picked boxing, mostly because my dad did that back when he was younger. I didn't want to learn any of that, so I picked Tai Chi because it could be a fighting style, but mostly it focuses on yourself.”

“I see. And do you like it?” Ivan asked.

“I do now. At first it was tough. But I got better. I saw a different form of it while I was at a friend’s house and I wanna learn that too.” Tracy stated.

“I'd like to hear about your family. Tell me about your mother and then how you feel she's been with you being Tracy.”

“She's great.” Tracy smiled brightly. “She's always been there when I needed her, well unless she was working. But I love her, a lot.”

“And now that you're Tracy? Has that relationship gotten stronger?” He asked again.

Tracy's smile stayed and she nodded briskly. “Oh yeah. On the weekends, we cook together, we hang out and talk. She was going to teach me how to sew here after the new year.” Her cheeks turned a deep red. “she even taught me to shave my legs.”

“And when she first found about Tracy, how did you think she'd act?”

“I thought she'd be mad. I really did. But my Grandmother said she knew.” Tracy replied.

He leaned forward. “So your Grandparents knew all along too?”

“No, just my grandmother. In fact my Grandpa didn't find out till we were in Livermore around Thanksgiving.”

“And your Grandmother is okay with this?” He asked.

“Oh yeah! She helped with money to buy me some clothes and for the first few months after they found me, I was able to be Tracy at her place with no problems, as long as Grandpa was out of town.” Tracy smiled. She was waiting for the all clear from the doctor so she could spend the night at her grandmother’s place again.

“So who's clothes did you use before your grandmother bought you the new stuff?”

“My mother’s.” Tracy blushed from embarrassment.

“And did you put all this together today?” He gestured to her clothes.

“All but the hair. My girlfriends, Stacey and Brooke braided my pigtails.”

“Well it's good to have friends who are willing to help. Now back to your Grandfather for a moment. He wasn't in on this then? How did he act when he found out?” Ivan made a few quick notes, but kept his attention on Tracy.

Tracy's smile faded once more. “Grandma said he was mad. She never said what he said, but I was told to stay away from him. She even kicked him out of their house, until he was nice to me again.”

Ivan nodded. “And has he made peace?”

“After the attack.” Tracy replied.

Ivan held up the finger to stop her again. “Okay. What about your father?”

Tracy scrunched up her nose as she thought about it. “Dad confused me.” She stated.

“How so?”

Tracy bit her lower lip, trying to figure out how to word her thoughts. “He's always pushed us to be a man. To not show emotions and stuff. So I hid Tracy from him. But he found out and met me in Livermore at our Aunt's place. He said he was okay with me being Tracy. He even made Vance ride with Mom when we came home from San Francisco that weekend.”

“And he doesn't do that often?”

“No. Usually he hangs out with Vance, cause they like sports and camping and stuff.” Tracy replied.,

“And how did you like that?” Ivan asked.

“I loved it.” Tracy smiled brightly. “He called me his daughter all day and even called me Princess.”

Ivan chuckled. “Very good. Now how about your brother. How has he been.”

“Well when he first found out, he told his friends. They're the ones who beat me up. But Grandma made him wear a dress for a week or so and then he got nice.” Tracy shrugged. “He's been okay, I guess. I mean he mostly wanted to hang out with me once I came down here, because he has the hots for Sage.”

Ivan's eyebrow went up and he scribbled down a note. “Tell me about school and your friends there.”

“I only got one friend at school really. That's Peter.” She smiled again and sat up. “He's known me as Troy, but likes me like this.”

“So no other friends at school?” Ivan cocked his head to the side.

“Well, there are a couple of girls that I know from school. We met them at a mall around here. They're the nieces of the lady in the front office.”

“Oh....So you met Mary Beth and Emily May.” He nodded. “How about your new friends? Do they know about you? Both the ones here and back home.”

“Oh yeah. Sage and Rachel said Stacey, Casey and Brooke would understand and I didn't believe them, but when we told them, they were totally fine about it. Mary Beth had heard Peter slip up and call me Tracy at school. They found us at the mall and they seem okay.”

“Good for you. True friends are rare to find.” Ivan tapped his pencil against the tablet for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I would like to talk about your attack now. I know it started before the date of the attack, so I'd like to hear it all, if that's okay with you. But give me a moment.” He got up and went to the door. A few moments later, Maggie, Sage and Persephone came in. Her mother and Sage sat on either side of her, Persephone took the chair next to her. “Okay. Tell me what happened that day.”

“It actually started before that day, so I'll start there.” Tracy nodded and gave a deep sigh. She began to tell him the story of how she found Bruce and Frankie stealing in the classroom. She took the time to point out that they were Vance's old friends. She covered the trip to Livermore and Meeting of Sage and Rachel. He watched as her mood went from dark, to happy, then back to dark.

She wanted to skip the part of the attempted rape, but she remembered what Persephone and Sage had told her. She told the story, every little detail. She continued with the stories of her nightmares and her confrontation with Clark. She told him about Mary Beth and Emily May and the nightmare she had when they slept over. By time she was done, tears were streaking down her face.

“The first thing I want to say is this. You are not to blame.” Ivan leaned forward and kept his eyes on her. “Sure, you were outside, but you are not to blame for them attacking you.”

“Okay.” Tracy sniffled.

“Tracy, he was a bad kid, out to hurt you for what you said to the Principal. You yourself said that. You can't blame yourself for his actions, just from what you wore that day.”

“That's what Lok said.” Tracy stated.

“Lok?” Ivan asked.

“A friend’s grandfather. Old wise Chinese guy.” Sage said.

“Then I can't be wrong if someone else agrees with me.” He handed her a box of Kleenex, then sat back and waited for her to relax a little.

“I'm trying. But I'm so afraid.” She said.

“Life is rarely easy. That goes double for something you want badly.” He stated. “But Tracy, how would you feel if I told you that you had to leave here and never be Tracy again?”

“I'd hate it. I don't want to be Troy. I hate being Troy.” She looked up and her gaze caught Ivan's. “I'd rather die, than be Troy again.”

Maggie held back a gasp, but she hugged her daughter tighter. Ivan looked from Tracy, to Maggie. “What about you? What if I made her go back to being Troy?”

“I only want my child happy. And when she's her true self, when she's Tracy, she's happy.” Maggie replied.

“Good.” He wrote down another note. Then he leaned back in his seat. “Tracy, I want you to do me a favor.”

“What?” She warily asked.

“Do you have a diary?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“When you get the chance, I want you to get one. I want you to write it in daily. Write about whatever you want to. School, friends, life in general. Just write daily. If you have to write more, then go ahead.” He looked to Maggie. “Do you think you'd be able to bring her down here once a month?”

“I'm not sure. I could get together with my husband and check the finances. But I think it may be possible.” Maggie replied.

“Well I want to see her next month.” He shifted his gaze to Tracy who held a straight face. “Bring your diary.”

“Okay.” Tracy nodded.

Ivan looked back at Maggie. “If you can't make it here, I may be able to meet you in Sacramento. But I'd rather not hold meetings in a restaurant or a park. I like the privacy of an office.”

Persephone cut in. “If she needs to get here, I'm sure we can work something out.”

“Good.” Ivan looked to Tracy. “You'll have to be Troy at school and around people who don't know, but I think it would be bad to force you to be Troy all the time. So I want you to keep being Tracy when you feel safe. Around your family and friends that know.”

Tracy and Sage began to squeal in delight. Maggie began to chuckle. The two girls got up and Tracy moved as quickly as she could to hug Ivan. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

~o~O~o~

They had pulled up to Karen's house and before Maggie could shut off the car, the door exploded outwards and four girls came rushing out. Maggie just began chuckling as they swarmed around the backdoor, helping Tracy out of the car.

“How did it go?!?” Rachel asked, half jumping in place.

“I get to stay Tracy!” She bounced for a moment, till she remembered her mother was watching her. The others began squealing.

“Come on girls, let's get you all inside.” Maggie said as she went to the trunk and pulled out Tracy's wheelchair. She waited while her daughter got in, then she pushed her up and into the house. “Tracy, we'll be back in an hour or three. Then we’ll grab lunch before we leave town, okay?”

“Okay, Mama.” Tracy said as Sage took over the job of pushing her.

Tracy watched as her mother and Persephone both left, then Sage took her to the living room where all the girls were seating by the coffee table. On the table was a large, wrapped object, almost two foot tall. All five of them called out “Merry Christmas!” As she came into the room. Sage stopped her by the table and set her brakes.

“That's...that's for me?” She asked, tears of joy beginning to form.

Rachel read the tag and then nodded. “Only one Tracy here right now, That's you.”

“But I didn't get you guys anything.” She stated.

“Hey, you came up here. That's good enough.” Brooke answered.

“Come on, open it.” Stacey pushed it closer to her and then stepped back.

Tracy stared at the package for a moment and read the tag. “To Tracy, from your new friends” A tear raced down her cheek.

Sage leaned over. “Come on. We all pitched in to get you this.”

Tracy began ripping the paper, till she saw the nose of a brown stuffed bear. She finished pulling the bear out of his paper prison an held him up. She smiled at it and then hugged it tightly. “Thank you.” She said, her voice cracking slightly.

“This was all of our idea.” Rachel said. “You seemed to sleep better when someone holds you. But when you go home, you won’t have that.”

Sage put a hand on her shoulder. “So we decided to improvise. Plus, you don't have any stuffed animals, so we had to fix that.”

“Thank you.” Tracy said, standing up. The girls began to surround her in a giant group hug.

~o~O~o~

Tracy let Vance walk their grandmother home, while she went into the house with her mother, her bag slung over her shoulder and her teddy bear in her arms. Maggie brought in the dinner they had picked up from KFC. The trip back had been good, but she was already missing her new friends. Tracy took her bag off her shoulder as her father came out of the kitchen with a fresh glass of water.

“Well hello, stranger.” He said with a smile.

“Hi, Daddy.” She replied and went to hug him, squeezing the teddy bear between the two of them.

“And who's your little friend?” He asked.

“You like him? I got him from My friends.” She replied as she let go of her father.

“Well he sure is nice. Did you thank them?” He asked as she headed for her bedroom.

“Yeah.” She stopped in the doorway. “They got him because of my nightmares.”

“They think a bear will stop them?”William watched her for a moment. “I mean he does look tough.”

“Well.....” He cheek began to burn red as she turned away from him. “We kinda found I don't get bad dreams when someone holds me. So we're hoping that Mr. Cuddles helps keep them away.”

“I see. Well I hope it works.” He replied. “Go and put your stuff on your bed. We can unpack you later.”

“Okay, Daddy.” She turned and slowly walked to her room. Maggie came out of the kitchen and he looked at her. “Mr Cuddles?” He whispered.

“She named him.” Maggie whispered back. “He got to ride in the center of the back seat, in a seat belt too.”

“Cute.” He chuckled. “So how did the appointment go today?”

“It went well. But you should wait for your daughter to fill you in.” Maggie said. “She can fill you in after dinner.”

“Okay. I guess I can wait a little bit more.” He nodded. “It's just nice to have her back here.”

“Yeah, it was getting too damn quiet around here.” Maggie agreed.

~o~O~o~

December 24th 1982
Northern California

It was just before nine in the morning of Christmas eve and the house was quiet, except for the sounds of Christmas music and the occasional pot or pan clinking. Tracy had already taken her shower and was dressed for the day in a denim skirt with a blue shirt. But due to the cold house she had on a flannel shirt for warmth. She was in the kitchen with her mother, helping with prep work for the family dinner on Christmas.

She still wasn't allowed to lift anything, so mostly she was reading recipe books, pealing potatoes and helping with the apple pies and cookies. She was doing her best to follow the doctor's instructions, even though it had been two weeks since the last check up and she was feeling better, but the next check up wasn't till the Monday after Christmas.

Her mother had let her stop using the wheelchair, mostly due to the small size of the kitchen. Tracy had taken over the kitchen table, with a trash can in front of her and a large bowl for the potatoes on the table. Her mother was at the counter, looking over what she had in the cupboard. “So what do you think, Tracy?” Her mother asked, pulling her daughters attention from her work. “Apple, cherry or pumpkin?”

“How many people will be there?” Tracy asked.

“Let's see.” Maggie began counting on her fingers. “The four of us, your grandparents, Amber and her family, Olivia. Carter couldn't get leave to come home and neither could Walter.” Maggie looked at her. “So fifteen or us.”

Tracy gave a light groan, one she hoped her mother didn't hear. “How about all three? We can have leftovers. Plus that many kids....”

“True.” Maggie began pulling stuff out of the cupboards. “So what's with the groan?”

“Amber's coming up.” Tracy replied.

“You used to like Amber.” Maggie stated.

“Mom, I love Amber, but I can't stand Alex. And Little Johnny is just as bad.” Tracy replied. She never had any problem with her cousins, none of them. But Amber had married a man who believed that women belonged in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. She could still remember the fight they had one year at Christmas when Amber said she had found a job. It got worse when she started making more then her husband. Amber's son, Alex was worse then Vance had been and his father always looked the other way when he was in trouble.

“Just think of it this way. It's one day, then they leave on Sunday. Plus it's Christmas, we have to make sacrifices for family.” Maggie said with a shrug.

“I guess. But does this mean that he'll be doing dishes with Vance this year?” Tracy asked.

“They both should. I mean you've been doing them since you were nine. Why can't they.” Maggie pulled out a pie dish when a car pulled up into the driveway. Maggie looked through the window over the stove. “Wonder who that is?” She said, trying to get a good view. A moment later, someone knocked at the door. “I'll be right back.”

Tracy kept peeling as her mother walked into the living room and opened up the door. She heard her mother say. “Peter! Come on in.” Tracy put the half peeled potato in the bowl and got out of her seat, went to the sink to quickly clean her hands. She hurried into the living room to find Peter standing there.

“Peter!” Tracy tried to hurry over to him and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “I didn't expect to see you today.”

“We're going to my Grandparents and I won't be home until after Christmas, so I wanted to give you your Christmas present now.” He held out a thin, rectangular box. “Merry Christmas, Tracy.”

She took it and looked at the wrapped box. “Can I open it now?” She asked, looking from Peter to her mother.

“Well it's up to him.” Maggie said as she went into the kitchen.

“Would you?” He asked. “I kinda wanna see your face when you see it.”

She didn't waste any time. She tore the paper and found a thin, black jewelry case there. She opened it up, very slowly and gasped as the light's reflected on a small gold chain and a ruby red gem in the middle of a silver pendant.

“You...you don't like it?” He hesitantly asked. “I know I couldn't afford a real ruby and it is your birth stone....” Before he could continue, she cut him off.

“It's beautiful.” Her voice was almost a whisper. She ran her fingers over the gem an tears began to form in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around Peter once more. “Thank you.” This time her voice cracked and she pulled away from the hug and wiped tears from her eyes.

“I figured you didn't have any earrings or necklaces and stuff and pretty girls should wear jewelry.” Peter stated.

“You think I'm pretty?” Tracy asked.

“The prettiest girl I know.” Peter's cheek turned a deep shade of red. “Can I put it on you?”

“Please?” She smiled, then took it out of the box and handed it to him and turned around. She could see her mother watching them from the doorway, a huge smile on her lips.

“There.” Peter said after a few moments. She turned around, and a sudden case of shyness came over her. She bit her lower lip, crossed one foot behind the other and her head was lowered, but her gaze stayed on Peter. “Does it look good?”

“It looks awesome.” He replied.

She suddenly stood up and went to the tree. “Before I forget, I got this for you.” She grabbed a larger package, grimaced a little from pain as she took it over to him. She held it out for him. “Open it.”

He raised an eyebrow, then slowly pulled the paper off. In his hands sat a new tackle box. “Thank you.” He said. “I've needed a new tackle box for a while.”

“Open it.” She smiled brighter. He did and his smile brightened as he rifled though a bunch of lures, and weights that she had put in there for him. Then he lifted up a tray and found a piece of paper. He picked it up and began reading. “Two free passes to the movies? Awesome!” He put an arm around her and hugged her as tightly as he could. “Thank you.”

“I know you like your fishing gear and you've been looking at that box for months now.” She said with a grin.

“You saw that?” He said, a bit embarrassed.

“Um, I've been with you each time we were at the sporting goods store.” Tracy said.

“Hey...um.” Peter closed the tackle box and looked at her. “Can I introduce you to my mother?” He asked.

“She knows me.” Tracy replied.

“No. She knows Troy. Don't be mad, but I told her about you and she's totally cool with it.” Peter said.

“You told her about me?” A look of worry crossed her face. Peter put a hand against her cheek and nodded.

“She wanted to know who I bought the necklace for.” He stated. “So, can I introduce you to her? Please?”

Tracy looked to her mother, who just shrugged. “Up to you sweetheart, but if she knows about you, then you should at least be nice enough to say hello.”

“I'll have her come in...” Peter looked to Maggie. “If that's okay with you.”

“Fine by me. It's better then Tracy being outside too much.” Maggie stated.

Peter went outside and Maggie came over to her daughter, who was inspecting the necklace once more. “Isn’t it pretty, Mama?”

“Yes it is.” Maggie said as she looked at it. She heard Peter knock and the door and she just chuckled. “You were just in here Peter, come on in.”

Peter came in with his mother. Tracy tried to take a step back, but ended up pressing against her mother. Peter smiled at Tracy and gestured to her, then looked at his mother. “Mom, this is Tracy.”

“I guessed as much.” She smiled as she stepped closer. She held out a hand. “It's nice to finally see you smile, Tracy.”

“We've met before, but thank you, Ma'am.”

“And polite, too.” She smiled at Maggie. “You should be proud of your daughter.”

“Trust me. She makes me proud on a daily basis. But then so does Vance.”

“Trust me, I can understand. Both of my sons make me proud.” Claire replied.

“Would you like a cup of tea? Or hot chocolate?” Maggie asked.

“I'd love some, but we need to get moving.” She replied. “My parents will worry if we're late.”

“I can understand that.” Maggie nodded. “How about when you get home. We can have a nice cup of coffee while the kids hang out.”

“That sounds wonderful.” She put a hand on Tracy's shoulder. “You look very pretty.”

“Thank you.” Tracy said before giving her a big hug.

“Peter, I'll give you a moment, I'll meet you in the car.” His mother turned and headed for the door. As if on cue, Maggie went to the kitchen and Tracy found herself alone in the living room with Peter.

“Well, I....” He started to say. “I...um...” His cheeks kept their bright red color as he stood there, stammering his words.

“Peter.” Tracy looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you for the beautiful necklace. And Thank you for calling me pretty.”

“I meant it too.” He pulled her into a hug. Once again a familiar sensation began to occur below her waist, the last time she had felt it was at Brooke's house. She moved her hips so Peter wouldn't feel anything odd. A part of her wanted him to scoop her up, off her feet and carry her to her room. But a bigger part wanted him to just kiss her, and it wanted that kiss badly.

After a few moments, he heard his mother’s car start up and he slowly let go of Tracy. “I uh...I need to get going. I'll call when I get home.”

“I can't wait.” Tracy replied. She watched him go out the door, then she went into the kitchen, sat back in her chair at the table and gave out a contented sigh.

Awwwww. Isn't that sweet? Next up Christmas 1982

The log in the stove had begun to burn. It lit up the room through the tempered, frosted glass enough to show him Tracy walking towards him. She had a blanket in one hand and Mr. Cuddles in the other. Her hair was flattened on one side and sticking up on the other. She had on a thicker nightgown and flannel pajamas. He smiled at her as she stopped at the couch. The image reminded him of how Troy looked when he had been younger, before their Dad insisted that boys didn't need teddy bears after a certain age. She looked like a small child, security blanket in one hand, bear in the other. “Can we join you?” She whispered.

“Yeah.” He pulled his leg from off the couch and let his sister sit down. She put Mr. Cuddles against her chest, then put her blanket over her and her bear. Vance didn't know why he did what he did, but he reached over and whispered. “Come here.” Then helped her scoot over to his side of the couch, then pulled her against his side. She leaned against him and watched the firelight dancing on the Christmas Tree. “Sorry if I woke you up.” He said in a whisper.

A big thanks to Djkauf for the editing again.

More of Tracy at Christmas time.

Note: The rating has gone up because of Tracy recalling events at Brooke's place

December 24th 1982
Home of William and Maggie Patterson

Tracy sat at the table, peeling the potatoes and thinking about Peter. There was something there, she was sure of it. She loved that smile he got whenever he looked at her and the way he had treated her when he was over, despite her blowup at him half a month earlier. She had wanted to kiss him in the living room but she didn't and now she was kicking herself for it. She was still unsure if she liked girls or not. She had found it hard to not look at Brooke and she had a stirring in her body at the sight of her friend mostly naked. The one thing she was sure of, was that she liked Peter.

Tracy jumped when a hand touched her shoulder. Both peeler and potato went tumbling into the trash can and she sat there, staring at her mother who was fighting the urge to chuckle.

“You in there?” Maggie asked a knowing smile on her lips.

“What? In where?” Tracy asked, leaning forward to retrieve the potato peeler.

“I've been talking to you for five minutes. You've been in a haze since Peter left.” Maggie went back to the counter.

“No I wasn't.” Tracy said as she got up to clean the utensil.

“Really?” Maggie reached in and grabbed the potato Tracy had been peeling and showed it to her. Half of it had been peeled away. “You were working on this one side for the last three minutes alone. I thought you were going to be peeling your hand soon.” She tossed the potato back in the trash can and went to the sink to wash her hands.

“Okay, I'm a little distracted.” Tracy admitted.

“A little? You were more than a little distracted.” Maggie chuckled.

“I've just been thinking about stuff.” Tracy stated.

“Like what stuff?” Maggie asked.

“Like Peter...you know, boys and stuff.”

“Ah, I see. You know, if there's ever anything you want to talk about, I'm here for you. I know life is a bit confusing at your age and trust me, it help to have someone to confide in. Plus in your situation, life will be harder.”

Tracy felt a little weird having a discussion about boys with her mother. But her time in Livermore had shown her that talking about things did help. She went back to her seat and sat down, then grabbed another potato and sighed. “It's...It's kinda hard....” She stopped and looked to her mother. “Mom, when did you know you liked Dad?”

Maggie washed her hands and smiled. “Well, I didn't know at first. We actually dated for about two years before I knew for sure.” Maggie sat down at the table and faced her daughter. “We were good friends, then we became more.”

“And did you ever think maybe...” Tracy bit her lip for a second and summoned the courage to continue. “you liked girls?”

“Ah....well I have female friends, but I don't like them like that. You follow what I'm saying?” Maggie asked.

“Maybe?” Tracy replied, but the confusion on her face said it all.

“There's all sorts of love and like. You can like a movie, but you can't marry it. You can have friends you like, but some you have a deeper connection with and those friends you actually love like they are a part of your family. I love Shelly, but I don't love her like I love your father.” Maggie stated, then she looked at her daughter and asked. “Do you like girls?”

“I don't know. The other day when I was with Brooke, I kinda watched her undress, just because I was curious.” Her eyes seemed to go slightly out of focus, as though she was watching the show again.

“And what did you think?” Maggie asked.

“It's weird. I watched, but I didn't want to, you know, do anything with her.” Tracy replied, although a part of her felt that it may be a lie. She bit her lip and her heart raced a bit.

“I think I can understand that. You want to be a girl. So for you, watching her was just wishing that you looked like that, but there was nothing sexual in it.” Maggie said. She saw something in her daughter's eye, but decided to not push that subject.

“Yeah. It's just like that. I mean her chest isn't big, but she's got one, plus the parts I don't have and none of the ones I do. I like her, but not in that way.” Tracy looked up for a moment, still unsure if that was the truth. “Plus with them holding me all those nights, I never once wanted to...you know...touch them, or stuff like that. But I am kinda curious.”

Maggie nodded. “I see. And what about with Peter? You two were awful close out there in the living room.”

“I...” Tracy bit her lower lip and her gaze went to her lap. “I kinda wished that he would have kissed me.”

“Is that all?” Maggie asked.

“No. I kinda liked being held by him.” Tracy's voice became a whisper. “Before the attack, I kinda had a few dreams about him.” She looked away from her mother. “You know....those kinda dreams.

“Oh.” Maggie tired to keep a straight face, but she failed. “Can I ask something personal?”

“I guess.” Tracy said with a nod.

Maggie leaned back in her chair and watched her daughter closely. “In these dreams, were you a total girl? Or did it not go that far?”

Tracy blushed again and she smiled. “It was a lot of kissing and stuff.” She folded her arms over her chest and hugged her self as she thought about the dreams. “Well, he did feel under my shirt, but that was it.”

“Okay.” Maggie nodded. “But were you as you are now? Or total girl.”

“I was all girl.” Tracy replied, smiling as she did.

“And has he felt you under your clothes, in real life?” Maggie asked. There was no anger in her voice, just the sounds of a concerned mother.

“No. The most he does is hug me.” Tracy replied.

“But you want more?” Maggie asked.

“I used to, before I got hurt.” Tracy's cheek went red once more and she looked to her hands, which she folded and placed in her lap. “I mean I still like him, a lot, but the feelings have died down a little.”

“Sweetie, it's okay. What you're feeling is normal for a kid your age.” Maggie said with a smile. “Plus The doctors said you'd have a decreased sex drive, but you'll still look and want to be touched. That's part of being human.”

Her preteen mind heard it all, but it stuck on one word and she panicked. “But I've never had sex.” Tracy looked at her mother. “I haven't even been naked in front of another person, other than the doctor and you and Dad.”

Maggie paused for a moment, trying to figure out where the outburst had come from. “Where did that come from?” She asked.

“You were talking about sex and being touched and stuff.” Tracy said.

Maggie chuckled. “I said sex drive.” She got up and went to her daughter, then pulled her into a hug. “Sex drive is different then sex. The drive is how much you want it.”

“Oh.” Tracy sat there for a moment. “So I can have sex, but I may not have the want to have it?”

“Well, yeah.” Maggie said. She let go of the hug and stood up so she could see her daughter. “But you better wait, young lady. You're just eleven. That's a bit young to even think about sex.”

“I...” Tracy looked up at her mother and all traces of humor were gone from her face. “I don't want him seeing me like this.” She said. “I don't want anyone seeing my body like it is right now, not in a sexual way.”

“I understand.” Maggie leaned back over and kissed her cheek. As she stood up, she pointed at her and in the motherly tone stated. “But you know, as a mother, it's my job to keep my daughter pure and innocent.”

Tracy smiled at her and picked the potato up again. “Mom?” She asked as Maggie went back to the counter.

“Yes dear?”

Tracy held the peeler to the potato, but didn't start working on it yet. “Is the sex drive the thing that makes Vance do all that stuff around Sage? You know, how he puffs out his chest and how he tries to open doors and does all that stuff for her?”

Maggie laughed and looked at her. “No, sweetie. That's just him being a man. You can't fault him for that. Just wait till you get older and all the boys are circling you, strutting like peacocks and almost willing to do any stupid little thing to catch your attention.”

Tracy giggled at her mother. “You mean he's going to do that for a while? This could be fun.”

“You have no idea.” Maggie said as she started her work again.

~o~O~o~

William came home around noon, when the mill shut down for a week long rest. He walked into the kitchen to find his wife working on making a pie and his daughter was scooping cookie dough out onto a cookie sheet. “Hello, ladies.” He said as he went to the 'fridge and pulled out a can of soda.

“Daddy!” Tracy put the spoon down and went to her father, lifting her chin and holding out the necklace that Peter had given her. “See what I got!”

“That's nice. Who gave it to you?” He asked.

“Peter! He came over and gave it to me before he went to his grandparents.” Tracy beamed at him.

William looked at his wife and she nodded. “And did you thank him?”

“Yep. I hugged him.” Tracy said as she went back to the table. “I wanted him to kiss me, but he …..” She trailed off as she realized she had been speaking out loud.

“It's okay, baby.” William replied. “It's okay to kiss people you like. But anything else and I'll have to have a little talk with Peter.” William left the kitchen and Maggie chuckled. "In fact maybe we should get his lips registered as deadly weapons." William called from the living room.

“What does he mean?” Tracy asked. "Like touching and stuff?"

“Fathers get defensive when boys start kissing their daughters. It's a cave man thing, I think.”

From the living room William laughed. “Ugh! William club Peter. Club Peter till lips no longer work! Ugh”

Maggie chuckled, till she noticed a slightly worried look on her daughters face. Maggie pulled her into a hug. “Baby, he's just kidding.”

“Am not.” William answered back as the TV turned on.

Maggie nodded. “Yes he is.....mostly.”

~o~O~o~

December 25th 1982

Vance woke up to the sounds of moaning and light sobs. He lay there for a moment and realized it was coming from the bunk below him. He wanted to yell at his sister to shut the hell up, but a part of him knew she wasn't awake. He turned over in the bed and saw by the clock on their dresser that it was just past two in the morning.

He wanted to lay there and go back to sleep, but the pressure on his bladder put off that plan. So as quietly as he could, he dropped to the floor and his foot landed on something soft. He looked down and saw the arm to Tracy's new bear, Mr. Cuddles under his foot. A quick glance at the lower bunk showed her on her side, facing towards him, her arms empty and her pillow about to fall on the floor.

Vance moved one foot and picked up Mr. Cuddles, then slipped him back into his sisters arms. He thought against moving her head, for fear he'd wake her, but then his big brother side took over and he gently slid a hand under her head and raised it enough to slip the pillow under it.

She grumbled a couple of times, but the whimpering and crying stopped as her arms closed in around the bear. He smiled to himself and headed for the bathroom, unaware that he was now being watched. Despite the fact he had on his flannel pajamas, he could still feel the cold air of the house.

After he was done in the bathroom, he passed his bedroom and went to the living room. He walked much quieter. His parents were in the next room and he didn't want to wake them. His first stop was the wood burning stove. He slowly opened the door to the cast iron stove, hoping to make less noise then it did. He waited a moment an when he could still hear the snoring from his parents, he grabbed a poker and began moving the embers around and pushing the remains of a log that had been put in when William went to bed. Normally they didn't like to let the stove go all night with no supervision, but the temperatures were cold enough to freeze, so they made the exception.

He grabbed a larger piece of wood and placed it in the fireplace, then took a piece of newspaper an shoved it underneath. The paper caught and the glow filled the room as he shut the door. He thought about going to bed, but changed his mind. Instead he went to the couch and sat down, with his back against a corner. He faced the Christmas tree, watching as the light from the potbelly stove's frosted glass door flickered over the dark tree. He thought about plugging it in, but he knew that was risking it.

He was only partly aware of the sounds of the bathroom door being opened up as he pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered himself up. He sat there in the dimly lit room, just watching the tree. He thought about how quiet the house had been for the week that his sister was gone. Then he went back in his memories to when she was Troy and he recalled the same kind of quiet in the house, unless he had been picking on Troy. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Tracy was a happier, friendlier person then his brother had been. And a big part of him didn't mind.

Tracy had thrown their lives up in the air, that was true. Everything he had known, changed. Now there was talk of him no longer sharing a room with her. He wasn't sure who'd get kicked out of the bedroom, but he had a good guess. There was the possibilities of friends coming over and he was more then okay with a parade of beautiful young girls in the house.

Vance recalled how he tried to insist that Tracy did less work around the house, but as he sat there and noticed that the living room hadn't been touched in almost a month, same with the kitchen, that she did the cleaning. Dinners had been later, not just because Tracy had gone south for a week, but she wasn't able to cook, or lift stuff. And in the brief visits to his grandparents house, he saw that it was slowly getting dirty. Not piles of garbage dirty, but a fine layer of dust over the house, something that Tracy had kept up on.

He had offered to help his Grandfather get the house ready for Christmas, and the old man took the help. After cleaning the house, he was getting a new respect for his sister. With the rain, his work in the field had mostly stopped. And they had cleaned the shed, using help from Jerry Rivers for a day or two.

Then there was the guilt. He wasn't sure, but he had guessed that if he had stayed a friend with Bruce, he would have been directly involved with Tracy's attack. He knew he had a part of the blame anyway, for his phone call to Bruce and Frankie after he had first seen Tracy. He could still remember the flash of anger he felt when he saw what his former friends had done to his family. And now his sister was forced to relive it nightly.

Vance didn't know what the future held for his sister. He had heard his parents talking about the doctor visit she had when they were down there. He knew Tracy was around to stay for awhile. The one added bonus he saw was there was now monthly trips to Livermore, which meant he could see Sage more often.

The log in the stove had begun to burn. It lit up the room through the tempered, frosted glass enough to show him Tracy walking towards him. She had a blanket in one hand and Mr. Cuddles in the other. Her hair was flattened on one side and sticking up on the other. She had on a thicker nightgown and flannel pajamas. He smiled at her as she stopped at the couch. The image reminded him of how Troy looked when he had been younger, before their Dad insisted that boys didn't need teddy bears after a certain age. She looked like a small child, security blanket in one hand, bear in the other. “Can we join you?” She whispered.

“Yeah.” He pulled his leg from off the couch and let his sister sit down. She put Mr. Cuddles against her chest, then put her blanket over her and her bear. Vance didn't know why he did what he did, but he reached over and whispered. “Come here.” Then helped her scoot over to his side of the couch, then pulled her against his side. She leaned against him and watched the firelight dancing on the Christmas Tree. “Sorry if I woke you up.” He said in a whisper.

“You did, But I think I was having a dream, and I needed to pee.” She replied.

“You knocked your bear to the floor.” He nodded. “You were staring to cry, so I put him back in your arms. Plus you had almost shoved your pillow to the floor.”

“That's why you lifted my head?” Tracy asked, craning her neck to see his face.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Thank you.” She whispered.

~o~O~o~

Maggie rolled over and looked at her clock. She was shocked to see that it was seven o'clock and she had slept in for once. She lay there for a moment, trying to determine if she could hear her children. But the only sounds that filled the house were snores. She got up to go to the bathroom and pulled on her thick robe.

When she finished, she tiptoed through her bedroom and into the living room, where she stopped suddenly. Her hand went over her mouth so she wouldn't make a sound. Her children were both on the couch, leaned against each other, shoulders touching. Vance's blanket was pulled up to his chest, as was Tracy's. Mr. Cuddles sat between them. Maggie slipped back into her room. Moments later she came back out, holding her Polaroid camera.

She crept up to the couch, careful not to make a sound. Then she took the picture. The noise of the camera caused her youngest to start to stir. So she took another when the camera was ready. Tracy opened her eyes as the flash went off.

Tracy sat there blinking as she sat up straight, hearing her mother snicker as she headed for the kitchen. “Hey, wake up.” Tracy gently poked Vance in the ribs. “We slept in too late.”

“What?” He mumbled as his eyes opened up.

“It's just past seven.” Tracy said as she looked to the clock. “Come on. Mom's up already.”

The sounds and smells of coffee starting to brew began to creep out of the kitchen and Maggie came in and looked at her children. “Merry Christmas.”

They both kept they voices down. “Merry Christmas, Mom.” They wanted their Dad to wake up and tear into the presents, but there was a tradition to uphold. Ever since Vance had hit ten years of age, William taught him how to safely work around the fireplace. So Christmas mornings, William would claim he wouldn't get up till there was a fire. Vance got up and opened up the fireplace to get a nice fire going. It was a two pronged attack. Fire for warmth, coffee to wake him up. Then they would open the presents from their parents and friends and Santa. They came a family breakfast. It was a simple one, something their father learned in the Army. Chipped beef on toast, or as William called it, Shit on a shingle. After that it left the kids enough time to do the breakfast dishes, play with their toys, then the family could shower and head over to their Grandparents for Christmas dinner and more presents. Although Modine and Conner had a rule, no presents till after dinner and the dishes had to be done.

Tracy followed her mother into the kitchen, mostly to wait for the coffee. She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of apple juice, then poured two cups. She put on on the table as Vance came in and picked it up.

“So how early did you two get up?” Maggie asked.

“I woke up when she started to have a bad dream. Two in the morning I think.” Vance replied. He quickly told her about finding the bear on the floor and putting Tracy back on her pillow. Then he covered how he added wood to the fire and watched the firelight till Tracy came out.

“Yeah. And you two looked so cute on the couch like that.” She held up one of the pictures and showed it to Vance.

“Mom!” He whined. “Why did you take that picture?”

“Because, I'm a mom and I need stuff to show your girlfriends when you date.” Maggie said with a smile. “The baby pictures of you in the tub only go so far.”

“Awww. You won't do that....will you?” Vance asked.

“Well, it depends. But as a mother, it is my right.” She turned as the coffee maker finished brewing and she poured herself a cup.

Both children got up and nodded to each other. They headed out of the kitchen, and went straight for their parent's bedroom. Normally they would have run out of the room, but Tracy was still walking slowly. They crept into the bedroom and took up positions on either side of their father. Tracy sat on the edge of the bed, then turned around and crawled over to where he lay. Vance help up a hand and counted down from five. At one they both pounced on their father, screaming. “MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!”

William woke with a start, but was unable to move, as the kids had pinned him down under the blankets. After a few minutes of Vance bouncing on the bed he grumbled. “OKAY, okay. I'm awake.”

Vance got off the bed and Tracy crawled to the side to get off. William lay back down and shut his eyes. It was another of the traditions. William''s fight for sleep. “Wake me up in two hours. Christmas can wait till then.”

Vance jumped back on the bed and Tracy began tickling an exposed arm. “Okay, okay.” William said again. “But it's too cold out there.”

“Nope, I started a fire a while ago.” Vance replied.

“Okay....but I don't have my coffee yet.”

Maggie walked into the room and showed him a large steaming mug. “It's here, But I'll leave it by your chair.”

Before he could make a grab for it, she walked out of the room. “Fine, I'm awake.” He sat up in bed. “Let me go to the bathroom and I'll be out in a minute.”

Tracy and Vance both got up and left the room. Maggie was plugging in the tree as they came back out. Once they were in the living room, they heard their father open the bathroom door. Vance leaned over to Tracy and whispered in her ear. The young girl chuckled and nodded.

William opened the bathroom door as quietly as he could, then he sprinted across his bedroom while shouting. “Going back to bed, wake me for dinner!” He threw back the blankets only to find both of his children lying there giggling, waiting for his attempt for more sleep.

Tracy pointed to the doorway. “Out there. The coffee and fire are in the living room.”

“Can't I get just a few more minutes of sleep?” William held his hands together like he was begging.

The kids looked at each other, then shook their heads and replied in unison. “NO!”

“Fine, fine.” William went out of the bedroom and into the living room. “I want a glass of water too.” He said and he started to go for the kitchen. He ducked down the hall, past the kids bedroom and threw open their door that led to the family shared bathroom. He grabbed the second door that led to his bedroom and threw it open, only to come face to face with both of his children. Again.

“The cups are in the kitchen, Daddy, not in the bathroom.” Tracy stood there with her hands on her hips, lower lip stuck out in a pout.

“Come on.” Vance grabbed one hand, Tracy took the other they led him to his chair. Once he sat down, the kids turned their attention to the tree.

“Tracy, if you want, take the couch and I'll put your stuff on the coffee table.” Maggie said as her kids came close. Maggie turned to the tree and began pulling out presents. Vance took a seat on the floor, near the fireplace. Tracy sat on the couch and pulled Mr. Cuddles into her lap.

The process of tearing through the packages went faster than Tracy expect. Halfway though the carnage there was a knock at the door. Maggie got up. “Wonder who that could be.” She went to the door and opened it slightly. Tracy watched as her mother’s smile brightened up and she opened the door all the way. Modine and Conner stood on the porch. His arms held two brightly wrapped boxes.

“Merry Christmas.” They said with big grins.

“Come on in.” Maggie stepped out of the way and waited to shut the door behind them. “You want anything to drink? Coffee? Apple Juice?”

Modine looked to her husband who nodded. “Well we were just going to drop off a couple of gifts and go, but cup of coffee sounds wonderful. Black please.”

“I'll go for a cup too.” Conner said as he came in and put the two gifts on the floor by the tree.

William had gotten out of his chair and he gave his mother a hug, then shook his fathers hand and pulled him into a hug. “Something wrong? We didn't expect to see you until time to make dinner.”

“Well we got to thinking.” Modine went over to the couch. Tracy quickly pulled several of the books she had received off the cushion and put them on the coffee table to give her grandmother room. Conner went into the kitchen to help with coffee. “We had a couple of things for Tracy and we didn't know how to get them to her on Christmas without the family seeing them. Olivia is in the shower and Joy and Angie were still sleeping. So we brought these over.”

“Those are for me?” Tracy asked, her eyes locking on the boxes.

Modine noticed Vance slump his shoulders and she nodded. “Yes they are. Vance?” She called to her grandson. He looked over at her and she smiled at him. “We got stuff for you, but we couldn't give Tracy's stuff to Troy, could we?”

“I guess not.” Vance replied.

“I promise that you have as much stuff as Tracy and Troy combined.” She stated. This perked him up.

“So do I get to open them up now? Or do I have to wait till later?” Tracy asked.

“Now is fine. I want to see your face.” Modine said. Maggie came in and put a cup of coffee on the table in front of Modine. She went back to the tree as Conner came into the living room and took over Maggie's chair.

Maggie took the hint and picked up the larger of the boxes and handed it to her daughter. Tracy began tearing into the paper as Maggie handed her son one of the gifts from her and William. Tracy shrieked as she opened up a box to reveal a full length, pink dress with matching shoes at the bottom of the box.

“It's pretty.” She said as she ran her fingers over the material. She quickly put the box on the table and leaned over and hugged her grandmother. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, dear.” Modine said as she hugged her back.

Tracy got up and hugged her Grandfather. “Thank you.”

“I'm glad you like it.” He said. Then he pulled out a pair of envelopes, one pink, one blue, from his coat pocket. “Hand the blue one to your brother.”

Tracy reached over an handed Vance his, then both kids opened up their envelopes and reached in. Conner chuckled as both of their jaws dropped and they looked at him. “It was Modine's idea. This is a thank you, on top of the allowance you've been getting for your work around the farm.”

“What did you get?” William asked. Tracy showed him the envelope with two one hundred dollar bills in it. He looked at his father and asked. “You sure, Dad?”

Conner smiled as both kids hugged, then moved to their grandmother. “More then sure. They have been a big help. I mean Tracy's been hurt, but we saw the work she had been doing when she couldn't do it anymore. And Vance has helped me around the property the past few months, so this is our way of saying thank you. Think of it as a Christmas bonus, like you get at work.”

“I see.” He looked to his kids. “You may want to put that some place safe, or we can open up an account at the credit union for both of you.”

“Okay Dad.” Both kids left the room and headed for their bedroom. Minutes later they were walking back into the living room. Maggie had Tracy's other box sitting at the coffee table waiting for her. She began opening it up and found what looked to be a tackle box. She opened it up and found different make up in it.

Tracy looked at it, then at her grandmother. “Thank you, but I don't know if Mom will let me have makeup.”

“We talked about this already.” Modine said.

“You're grandmother and I agree that you're a special case. I'll allow the make up, but I want to sit down and teach you how to use it. But it's for special occasions only.”

“Okay Mama.” Tracy said as she leaned over and hugged her grandmother. She got up and hugged her grandfather again.

They stayed as the pile slowly dwindled down. William began to stand up. “If you want, we can make a little extra breakfast.”

“No. We got to start on the dinner preparation soon.” Modine stood up. “But thank you for the offer.”

William seen his parents to the door then he headed to the kitchen. “Okay, kids. You need to clean up the living room and I'll start on breakfast.”

In unison both of his children called out. “Okay, Dad

I actually had to re-write this. It started out fun and went dark fast. So I felt a little sugar for the holidays was a good approach.

Part one to Christmas is over. Next up? The family dinner.

Troy smiled at her and gave a slight wave as he took a seat at the table. “Hi.”

Angie came over to him and her eyes seemed to glow with delight. “Hey...um...you know...” She rocked on her feet as she rambled in front of him, trying to find her words. She bit her lip, then just blurted out what was on her mind. “Were those your clothes I found on Thanksgiving, you know? The panties and nightgown?!? It looked like it could fit you!” Troy's cheeks were a bright red and he fought the urge to just run out of the room in fright. Olivia turned and looked at him with both eyebrows raised.

“ANGIE!” Joy glared at her daughter. “What did I tell you about asking questions like that! Now apologize to Troy!”

Angie looked like the typical scolded child. Her head was lowered and she sat in a chair. “Sorry, Troy.”

Tory wanted to say that it was his stuff, but he didn't know how his cousins would take it. “It's okay.” He told his cousin.

Thanks to Djkauf for the editing again. Now for a nice family meal....nothing can go wrong here.

December 25th 1982

Breakfast and dishes were already a memory. Yet another Christmas morning was over. All the fun of the day seemed to be sucked away and it wasn't even ten in the morning yet. Vance was in the living room, playing with one of his gifts. William was relaxing in his chair, reading the paper from the day before.

Maggie was already showered and dressed. She was headed to her Mother-in-law’s house to help with the dinner preparation. She stopped at her kids room to check in on her youngest who had wanted to go with her. She knocked at the door, then moved the door a crack. “You ready to go?”

Troy opened up the door. All the joy that Tracy showed that morning was gone and now a quiet, sullen boy stood in her place. “Yeah.”

“Baby, you don't have to go if you don't want to.” Maggie said.

“But I might learn something, plus I can't do much, but I can help a little.” Troy replied.

“But you're not happy. Why force yourself next door, early, if you're going to be miserable.” Maggie pulled her son into a hug.

“But I want to go.” Troy looked up at her, tears wanting to form in his green eyes. “I just wish I could be myself over there.”

“So do I. I know your grandparents wouldn't care, but I don't know about the rest of the family.” Maggie stated.

“I know.” Troy lowered his head.

Maggie stood up and went to the kitchen. She pulled out a pot of potatoes from the fridge and headed to the door with her son in Tow. “See you guys over there.” Maggie called to her husband. “Remember the pies.”

“I will.” William replied. “Three o'clock, right?”

“Yeah.” Maggie said as Troy opened up the door for her. “Troy, grab the cookies on the stove.”

“Okay, Mom.”

A few minutes later, Troy and Maggie walked into his grandparent's place, Troy holding the door for his mother who had the pot of potatoes in water. He had peeled them the day before. Only Conner sat in the seats reserved for the grandparents. In a corner the Tree stood proudly and the lights were already twinkling. Troy only waved at his grandfather and Maggie gave a slight smile, then they continued on to the kitchen. There they found Modine and Joy, one of Troy's cousins, Olivia, another of his cousins and Joy's daughter, Angie. The elder cousins were already dressed. But Angie had on a nightgown that bore a cartoon kitten and puppy on it. Modine was wearing her usual, a housecoat.

Maggie announced their presence by asking a question. “No Amber yet?” She walked into the kitchen and went to the stove and placed the pot of potatoes down.

Joy looked up from her work at the stove. “Amber is a little busy at Dad's place. But then with the two of us here, there was no room for her and the family. I guess her boys are being a pain this morning. She called to say she's running late, but we can start the cooking without her.” She looked over to the table and did a double take. “Troy's here?” This caused Olivia to look over her shoulder and raise her eyebrows.

Troy smiled at her and gave a slight wave as he took a seat at the table. “Hi.”

Angie came over to him and her eyes seemed to glow with delight. “Hey...um...you know...” She rocked on her feet as she rambled in front of him, trying to find her words. She bit her lip, then just blurted out what was on her mind. “Were those your clothes I found on Thanksgiving, you know? The panties and nightgown?!? It looked like it could fit you!” Troy's cheeks were a bright red and he fought the urge to just run out of the room in fright. Olivia turned and looked at him with both eyebrows raised.

“ANGIE!” Joy glared at her daughter. “What did I tell you about asking questions like that! Now apologize to Troy!”

Angie looked like the typical scolded child. Her head was lowered and she sat in a chair. “Sorry, Troy.”

Tory wanted to say that it was his stuff, but he didn't know how his cousins would take it. “It's okay.” He told his cousin.

“I'm sorry Troy, someone needs to learn she can't just ask questions all the time.” Joy said. “Maybe you'd feel better back at home. I mean all we're doing is getting dinner ready.”

“Oh that's okay.” Maggie said “He helps at our place by cooking on days I work, so he wants to learn more stuff.”

“Cool. I like a man who can cook.” Olivia said with a nod. She turned back to the dishes.

“Well, come on over here kiddo and we'll teach you the fun of scalloped corn.” Joy said, letting her daughter’s question just fade away. “First I need you to get the large cake pan from the cupboard under the stove.”

“Um....he can't do that.” Maggie said. “He's a watcher today. He can stir things, but bending and lifting are out.”

“He....” Joy raised an eyebrow. “He can't lift anything? Or bend?”

Modine looked at her and nodded. “Remember what I told you about the start of the month? That kid who attacked us?”

Joy and Olivia nodded, but only Joy spoke. “He's still hurt? That was a month ago.... What did they do to him....” She realized that the boy was still in the room. “What did they do to you?”

Troy blushed and Maggie took over. “I don't know if this is something for little ears.” Maggie let her gaze shift to Angie.

“Let's go outside for a moment.” Joy said.

Maggie nodded and she led the way as Joy, Modine and Olivia followed. Maggie stopped at the doorway to the laundry room that led to the back porch. “Troy, this concerns you, so it's only fair if you're there too.” Troy got up and followed his mother. Angie started to follow them, but Joy stopped her.

“Get dressed sweetie.”

“But can't I hear too?” Angie said with a hopeful smile. “I mean he'll be okay, right?”

“I'll listen first. If I feel you can hear it, then I'll tell you” Joy stated before she followed her family outside. “Now get dressed before anyone else comes over.”

It was still cold outside, very cold. But at least it wasn't raining. Not that it would have mattered with Modine's covered porch. Troy took a seat on the porch swing and his mother and Grandmother sat on either side of him.

“What all can I tell them?” Troy whispered to his mother.

Maggie leaned in close and whispered into his ears. “How much do you want to tell them?”

Modine leaned over and whispered to both. “Joy knows about the clothes, but not whose they were, well till Angie blurted it out. Although, I think she suspects.”

“You want me to tell them?” Maggie asked.

“Just the attack.” Troy replied.

“Okay.” She looked over at Joy and Olivia who had been watching, waiting. “Okay, to understand this, I have to tell you about the time before Thanksgiving.”

“When Troy and Vance had been suspended?” Joy asked.

“Yeah.” Maggie nodded. “They were suspended for fighting, but they only fought because Troy found one of Vance's old friends stealing from a classroom. The bigger boys chased him and almost beat him up, if it hadn't been for Vance.” Maggie took a deep breath and continued. “The day before Troy was to go back to school, that boy and three of his friends came to the property to find Troy and beat him up. They found him by our barn, but he managed to get away and he was forced to run here.” Maggie pointed to the lawn of the backyard.

“They caught him right there. It was three on one and Troy had already pissed one of them off by kicking him where it hurts.” Joy and Olivia both scrunched up their noses in discomfort. “They did the same to him, but worse. He had to go to the hospital for an emergency Orchiectomy. He also had a couple broken ribs and sprained wrist. About a week or two later, before he healed, someone at school tripped him and tore out the stitches. That's why he can't lift anything. Any lifting, or unnecessary squatting and bending can really hurt him in the future. The poor child doesn't need a hernia on top of all of this.”

“Wow. Those assholes.” Joy stated.

“Maggie is skipping on a couple of key points.” Modine stated. Troy looked at her with wide, fear filled eyes, but she put a hand on him and patted his shoulder. “After they had done their damage, I came out to stop them and the boys attacked me. Troy was already hurt and he still managed to stand up and fight them again, all to defend me.” She hugged her grandson tight. Troy wiped at his eyes and tried his best not to cry. “This is my hero.”

Wow....” Olivia was stunned. “You actually got up and fought...after they hurt you?”

“Yeah.” Tory's voice was a whisper.

“You are one strong kid.” Olivia smiled brightly at him. “I am impressed.”

They were all quiet for a moment, trying to ignore the cold winter morning. Joy finally spoke up. “Troy, I am sorry for what happened and I'm sorry Angie just blurted out her question. She doesn't understand she can't do that all the time. I must admit, I had been curious about that too. I'm not sure if your mother knows, but she should.”

“Okay, what's this about the clothes?” Olivia asked.

Joy looked at her and nodded. “That's right, you didn't make it for Thanksgiving.” She gestured to the direction of the guest bedroom. “Angie was going through the dresser in the guestroom and found a nightgown and pair of panties that were just a bit large for her. So she asked Grandpa. I never heard what came of that.” Joy looked to Troy. “Were those yours? I'm not angry or anything, just kinda confused and curious.”

Troy looked at his mother, who only whispered in his ear. “Baby, it's your choice.” Troy looked at Joy and nodded and took a huge leap of faith. He loved his cousins. Angie was okay as well, just a bit loud and had a tendency to talk a lot.

“Yeah.” He said. “I got more at home.”

Joy nodded slowly as she tried to figure it all out. The backdoor opened up at the same moment and Angie came out, still in her nightgown, her eyes wide with delight again.” I knew it! I knew it, I knew it” She began singing in place and dancing around.

“Angie!” Joy snapped. She pulled her daughter to her and sat her in her lap.

“Sorry Mom.” The little girl said. She tired to do her best pout to stop the inevitable punishment.

“You are supposed to be changing young lady!”

“Sorry Mom.” Angie said again, looking to the porch.

“How much did you hear?” Joy asked.

“I heard him saying he got hurt and that the boys beat up Grandma too,,,,,” She looked to her mother. “What's an Or...orchi...orchi-thingy? What he had?”

Joy sighed. She looked to Troy. “She wont stop bugging us unless we answer her, can I tell her?”

Troy nodded again. He was reminded of Mary Beth. “Yeah.”

Joy looked to her daughter and sighed. “Angie, an Orchiectimy is something only boys can have done, but it's a painful surgery. It removes some of their boy parts.”

“Is that why he moves so slowly?” The little girl asked.

“Yeah.” Joy nodded. She looked to Troy. “There's something I don't understand. Why would a boy want to dress like a girl?” Joy asked. “Troy, why do you do it?”

“At first I thought I was doing it to escape. I would act like there was no Vance and I had no Dad. Now....Now I don't think I'm supposed to be a boy.” Troy replied.

“But you were born a boy. I changed your diaper when you were younger, I know what I saw.” Joy stated with a chuckle. “I do know the difference between male and female.”

Olivia leaned back in her chair and held up a hand to stop Troy. “Joy, it is possible. He could be one of those Transsexuals.”

“Olivia, what if he's a cross-dresser? Like those people in Hollywood at night? The prostitutes at Hollywood and vine?” Joy asked. “I...I don't know if I want Angie being around that.” She looked at Maggie and Troy and blushed from embarrassment. “Not to sound like a jerk, but I got to look out for my daughter.”

“As a mother I can understand.” Maggie said. “But maybe you should get to know my child, as SHE is now. Not as the little boy you remember.”

“Joy, I'm not a mother.” Olivia said. “But Aunt Maggie is right. We need to get to know Troy....” She looked at the child in question. “No, that's not right. Troy's a boy's name, what do you call yourself?”

Troy's cheeks went a bright red and he looked to the porch, while he leaned against his mother. “Tracy.” He whispered.

“Tracy's a pretty name for you.” Angie said and Troy smiled at that.

“I like it.” Olivia looked at her sister. “We need to get to know Tracy. He's not at Hollywood and Vine. He's a small town kid. You grew up here for a year or two, so did I. You know the hell this town can put you through for being different.”

“Joy, I can understand your worry.” Maggie stated. “But my daughter just got back from visiting friends in the Bay Area. They know about her....extra parts, so do her parents. She was with five other girls, for almost six days on her own and nothing happened. Those girls love her down there and to them, she's just as female as the rest of them.”

“Can I ask a couple of questions?” Olivia inquired.

“Sure, I don't know what all I can answer though.” Maggie said.

“Do Grandpa and Uncle William know?”

“Yeah.” Maggie nodded. “William found out around Thanksgiving. He needed a few days to figure out his mind, but he's been supportive.”

“And Grandpa?” Olivia asked again.

“He took some time to work it out.” Modine replied. “At first he was against it. Thought Troy was gay and weak, but when he watched Troy risk his health for my safety, he realized that it's what's on the insides that count. Give me a moment, I need to show you all something.” She got up and went into the house, leaving Troy with his mother and cousins.

Olivia nodded and continued. “Does my father, or Amber and her family know?”

“No. The only one from your part of the family that know are the three of you.” Maggie said.

“I don't think we should let Amber and Leonard know. And the boys don't need to find out.” Olivia stated. “Joy, do you agree?”

Joy nodded her head. “Yeah. Leonard is a bit....”

“Caveman like?” Olivia filled in for her sister.

“I was going to say, old-fashioned. But Caveman works.” Joy nodded. “His thoughts on women and work are funny to say the least.” They all chuckled, except the two kids. It had been a couple years earlier when Leonard and his wife, Amber, got into a fight at Christmas over her getting a job. He had done the usual male thing and insisted that she needed to stay home and watch after the kids, but they were drowning in debt.

“You're taking this quite well.” Maggie said, looking to Olivia.

“I go to UCLA. I hang out with friends in Hollywood. Trust me, I'm hard to shock anymore.” Olivia stood up. “But I'm getting cold, so I am going back in. Maggie, Troy....Tracy, I wont tell anyone. You have my word on that.”

Modine came out and handed Olivia a picture, then a second one. “Look at these before you go in. The first is Troy at the fourth of July. The other is a picture from Maggie when they were in Livermore back in November.”

“Is that...” Olivia looked at the picture, then the first one and then at Troy. “Holy crap. You make a pretty girl.”

She handed the pictures to Joy who looked at them with her daughter. “Wow, you almost can't tell from the other picture. But with Troy's hair right now, you can.”

“Tracy looks pretty.” Angie said with a giggle.

“Notice something about the pictures?” Modine asked. This caused Olivia to look over them again with her sister and niece.

“Like what?” Joy asked.

“The face. Look at the faces in both pictures.” Modine stated.

“Troy...” Olivia scanned both pictures. “Troy is sad, but Tracy isn't?”

“Right.” Modine said. “Even since Tracy first came out, She has gotten stronger, braver and happier.”

“But maybe it's just the clothes that make her happy?” Joy suggested.

“I thought so too, but it's not the clothes.” Maggie said. “She's hidden who she should have been and it’s just coming out now. I've got her talking to a therapist in Livermore and he wants Troy to be Tracy when not at school.”

“Sounds about right.” Olivia nodded.

“There is something important we do need to say.” Maggie looked to Angie. “Angie, I know you love a good story and you love to talk, but we need to keep this a secret from the family. If Alex and Johnny found out, they would tease Troy non stop.” She stated. “So I need you to promise me that you will keep this a secret. If someone finds out, Troy could be hurt, worse then before.”

“She means it.” Joy said, turning her daughter to face her. She knew how her nephews could be. “You weren't even supposed to hear. You let yourself in on something that don't concern you. So you could accidentally get Troy hurt. So please, don't tell Aunt Amber, Uncle Leonard and the boys about this, okay?”

Maggie let go of her child and gestured to the door. “Baby, can you take Angie inside for a minute.” Joy shot Maggie a worried look.

“It's okay. I want to go in too.” Modine said. The older lady led the two kids inside and just before the door shut, the remaining adults out side heard Modine ask. “Who wants hot chocolate?” The two kids cheered loudly.

The door shut and Maggie reached out to stop Olivia from going in. “Olivia, Joy, there's something else I want to tell you. Something you need to know about Tracy and the attack.”

~o~O~o~

An hour later, Troy was watching his cousin Joy closely as she finished preparing the scalloped corn. He was leaning against the sink, trying his best to stay out of the way. He was still in a funk because Tracy couldn't be there, but he knew why. The two more forgiving members of his Uncle’s family knew, but the ones he feared had no clue.

Joy had been quiet since they had come in. She kept giving him odd glances. Several times he thought she was going to burst into tears around him. She was in the middle of mixing ingredients when she put down her spoon and just hugged him. “I know I promised your mother, but I'm sorry you went through that.” Both Olivia and Joy knew more. Maggie had taken them into confidence of what Bruce had attempted to do.

“Promised Mom what?” He asked.

“I wasn't supposed to bring up the attack.” Joy said. From behind them, Olivia wrapped her arms around the two.

“It takes a strong person to defend herself like that.” Olivia said. “And an even bigger one to do it injured.”

Joy kissed his cheek. “I'm not saying I understand, but I won't get in your way of you, being you. Your mother pointed out a few things, and I trust her.”

“Things like what?” Troy asked, cocking his head slightly to the side.

“Like you've always been this person. You're just finally being true to yourself.”

Before he could comment, the front door flew open and someone came running in, screaming.

“GREAT GRANDPA!” A young boy's voice called out.

“Hey Great Grandpa.” A second boy's voice sounded off, this one seemed a bit older then the first.

“Hey boys.” Troy heard his Grandfather say. Joy and Olivia let go of Troy as a new voice called out from the front door.

“Push the door open slower next time. It's not a race and you've already broken one door today.” Troy smiled as he heard his Cousin Amber. He wasn't pleased to hear that Alex and Johnny were there, but he had no control over that.

“Oh it's okay, Amber.” Conner replied.

“No grandpa, it's not. Thanks to the wonder duo here, they had to fix Dad's door because these two kept running in and out and slamming it all morning. Plus they knocked down a few of Dad's pictures and took off this morning to go wandering without telling anyone.”

“Sounds like a busy morning.” Conner replied.

“Come on you two. You're in the kitchen with me.” Amber said.

“It's kinda full in there.” Conner called after her. “They can hang out here with me if they want.” Both boys began to cheer

“No.” Amber said and the cheering changed to whining. “Sorry Grandpa, but they are getting punished for their behavior.”

Amber went into the kitchen to find her sister Olivia at the table making a green bean casserole and Modine and Maggie enjoying a cup of tea. She was stunned at the sight of her other sister at the stove with her daughter Angie and Troy.

“Aunt Maggie.” She hugged her aunt as she came in. Then she hugged Modine. “Grandma.”

“It's good to see you, young lady.” Modine said.

Amber turned to watch her two boys shed their coats and drop them on the floor. She growled and pointed to the coats. “Pick them up, now.” The boys picked them up and tossed then in a free seat. “Hang them on the back of the seat. I know you two are not this stupid.”

Amber took a deep breath as she turned towards the kitchen “Sorry I'm so late.” She turned to her boys and gestured to the two seats on the far side of the kitchen table where they had just hung their coats. “Sit and don't move or you're grounded till you turn thirty....if I let you live past tonight.”

“Can we have something to drink?” Alex asked., then his eyes fell on Troy. “Why's Troy at the stove?!? Is he cooking?!? That's a girls job?!?”

Without missing a beat, Johnny began to dance around and taunt Troy. “Troy is a girl, Troy is a girl Troy is a girl!”

“QUIET!!!” Amber screamed at them. She took a couple of breaths an pointed to the seats. “SIT DOWN AND SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!”

The boys froze for a moment, then they both took the empty seats.

Amber turned away for a moment, then went to where the cups were. She pulled out two and began filling them with water. Alex was the first to complain. “I want soda!”

“After the way you've been so far, you'll get water and enjoy it.” Amber growled at her children.

Johnny looked at two cups on the table and pointed to those. “What's that?” He pulled the mug closer and was staring at it. “Is this hot chocolate! I want hot chocolate!”

“I want some too!” Alex slammed his hand on the table. Maggie got up as she heard the plastic cup crack in her niece’s hand.

She put her hands on the girl who was just a few years younger then she was. “Amber, let's step outside for a minute.”

“Yeah.” Amber went with her Aunt to the door.

Angie went over to the table and grabbed the mug that Johnny was playing with. “That's mine.” She said. Then she grabbed the other mug and took them over to the sink and handed one to Troy.

“Why do they get hot chocolate?” Alex whined.

“Because they are helping out in the kitchen.” Olivia explained. “That and they didn't destroy Dad's house and run off this morning.”

“We'll be good if we can have some?” Alex asked, trying his best to look like a repentant child.

“Boy's, I think that ship has sailed.” Joy replied. “Water for now. That may change if you get better.”

“And as for Troy in here, lot's of men cook.” Olivia stated. “Hell, most restaurants pay male cooks more then female, plus a lot just won’t hire the women cooks. Troy's dad was a cook in the army.”

“That's different. They don't let women in the army.” Alex smugly replied.

“Who told you that?” Olivia looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Women have been in the armed forces for years.”

Both Boys were silent for several minutes. Neither wanted to suffer the wrath of their Aunts and Grandmother. But finally the silence begged to be broken. “But why's he in here?” Johnny asked. It's just girls in here.”

Joy looked at them and smiled. “Oh? You're counting yourself with the girls?”

“NO!” Both boys shouted.

“Not that you need to know, but he does the cooking at his house because Aunt Maggie and Uncle William work long hours. So Troy does most of the cleaning and cooking at the house. And Vance works outside the house in the field.”

“Troy does girl's jobs! Troy does girl;s jobs!” Johnny started chanting.

“Is it a girl's job?” Joy asked. “Think about it. If you lived alone, who do you think will clean your house?”

“Mom?” Alex asked.

“Fat chance on that kid. It would be her job to point out how dirty your place is, not clean it for you.” Joy said with a chuckle.

~o~O~o~

Maggie shut the door behind her and Amber and pulled her niece into a hug. “I know there's bad days. Boys just push the buttons like crazy. It's worse around the holidays. Just don't let them ruin your good time.”

“They've been non stop since we got in the car Thursday morning. Maggie, I'm so close.....” Amber held out a hand and made a fist, her arms shaking slightly. “This was going to be my chance to get away from them, till they broke the door and Leonard made them come here so they could fix the door and windows at the house.”

“We could have Vance come over and hang out with them. He has a football, they could play behind our place.” Maggie suggested.

“No, they need to be punished. Besides, I don't want to deal with them in and out all day. Play for five minutes and come running in just to have a drink, then run out.” Amber went to the seat at Modine's table and sat down. “I’m getting so close to snapping Aunt Maggie.”

“I know. I can see it.”

“No. It's not just today. I work forty hours a week to help make ends meet, go home and cook and do the dishes. I have two boys who treat me like I'm their servant and a husband who is so tired when he gets home that he doesn't back me up when I try to get them to listen.”

“Then make him listen.” Maggie said. “I got William to listen. Hell, I have Vance doing dishes nightly and on the nights that Troy doesn't cook, he helps with dishes.”

“Wait....” She held up a hand to stop her Aunt. “Troy....” She blinked a couple of times. “Troy cooks? You actually have Troy cooking for the house?”

“Well he still works on the easy stuff, and I do talk him through a lot of the tougher stuff, if Modine isn't around. She has been helping him learn too.” Maggie smiled at her. “I was running myself ragged. I'd get home at five, sometimes six and then it was half an hour, to an hour or more for dinner. Now? Now I get home at five thirty and dinner is on the table ten minutes later. Well, it was till he got hurt.” Maggie amended her statement. “But he does the cooking an the cleaning in the house.”

“He cleans the house too?”Amber chuckled and shook her head slightly. “How the hell did you pull that off.”

“He offered.” Maggie replied.

Amber chuckled again. “I don't see my demons offering anytime soon. But that would be nice.”

“I'll help you with this.” Maggie said.

“How?”

Maggie gave her a devilish grin and put a hand on Amber's shoulder. “Simple. Get me talking when Leonard is by us. I'll gladly tell the tail of how my kids have grown up and taken responsibilities around the house. Sure, they get an allowance, but they have to do the work to get it.”

Amber nodded and stood up. “I'll do that. Maybe we should make the little twerps do the dishes tonight, give Vance and Troy a break.”

“It would be just Vance.” Maggie replied.

“Why? What's wrong with Troy?” Amber asked. “Why can't he do them?”

“Two reasons. The first isn't a big reason, but it's important. Why did you, Joy and Olivia stop doing dishes at the big family meals?”

“Like Christmas and Thanksgiving?” Amber asked.

“Yeah. That and the Easters we eat together.” Maggie nodded.

Amber thought about it for a moment, then tapped at the air with a finger. “I think we asked you two to have them wash the dishes because we were helping in the kitchen. We did a lot of the cooking. Well, you and Modine too.”

“And it was only fair. That was about three years ago. Vance was ten and Troy was eight.” Maggie stated. “So why can't a new set of workers take over.”

“Makes sense. And it's not like Troy and Vance live here.” Amber said. “So Troy is helping in the kitchen and that gets him out of dishes.....” She was quiet for a moment and nodded. “Be a bit hypocritical if I say he still has to do them if I refuse to do them because I cooked.”

“Right.” Maggie said. “Troy would have helped though. But the other reason he cant is he was hurt at the start of the month.”

“Oh...when those boys beat him up?” Amber asked. “What all happened? I heard Grandma got hurt too.”

“Yes. I'll tell you, but don't ask him about it though, unless he offers the story himself, it still haunts his dreams at night.” Maggie said. Once Amber agreed, Maggie did a quick telling of the tale, skipping over the finer details about clothing, and what almost happened. She covered the start of the tale and the suspension, the attack and the hospital visit. Then she covered the trip he suffered.

When her aunt had finished, Amber's eyes were slightly wet from tears and she just shook her head. “I'm...I'm so sorry that he had that happen. He's one special boy to protect Grandma like that.”

“You have no idea.” Maggie replied.

Amber smiled at Maggie. “So, if I make the boys do the dishes, how can we keep Vance from doing them?”

“Vance helped set up the house by cleaning. He and Dad cleaned the house from top to bottom.” Maggie said.

“That settles it. I'll make them do the dishes.” Amber set her jaw and looked at the door.

“I think Vance will be happy.” Maggie said with a nod. “I didn't really want to say anything, but last year your two really ticked off my two. Each time they wanted a glass of water, they dirtied a new cup. How many plates did your sons use, just because they claimed it was dirty.”

“That's why....” Amber gritted her teeth. “Those little....”

“I know. Trust me. Vance and Troy were both dreading today.”

Amber nodded. “I can understand. They do it at home too.” Amber was quiet for a moment, then she smiled wide. “I have an idea. I'm not telling them they got the dishes, till just before they need to be done. Let them see how it feels. I'll talk to Leonard and tell him what's going on.”

“I won't tell the kids, that why they won’t slip up.” Maggie rubbed her shoulder. “Come on. Let's go save your sisters from those boys.”

~o~O~o~

Troy was at the table sitting next to Angie. The two children were busy setting up the bowl of Ambrosia fruit salad. They took turns putting in the ingredients into the bowl as Joy kept a close eye on them, making sure they were following the instructions.

“I want more water!” Alex slammed the cup on the table.

“Then get up and get more water.” Olivia said from her seat at the table. “No one's at the sink.”

Troy watched from the corner of his eye as Alex went to the sink, then pulled out a clean cup and placed the old one he had been using in the sink with the other dishes. Johnny quickly finished his glass, then ran over to fill up his cup, by getting a clean one too. Troy sighed deeply and just rolled his eyes. He didn't say a word as he watched them make more dishes for his brother. He knew it was unfair for Vance to do them all on his own, so he resolved to help.

Maggie came back in and Amber followed. Amber looked at her two kids and the two new cups in her hand. She didn't say a word, she just sighed and smiled at what they had planned for later. Joy began to work on a Green-bean casserole and within seconds, both boys started up again. “I hate green beans!”

“Then don't eat it.” Amber said as she stopped behind them. “But you will have something more then turkey, stuffing and pie.”

“Well I don't want anything Troy made.” Johnny said.

“Why not?” Amber asked, trying her hardest to not get mad.

“Because I don't want his wimp germs.” Johnny replied, folding his arms. “He can't even lift a bowl, so I don't want to be that weak.”

Amber bit her tongue before she could just snap at her children. “Troy, what all have you helped with....wait. Better question, what haven't you helped with?” asked.

Troy thought about it and counted off what had been made. “Let's see. I helped with the corn and, potatoes, the fruit salad.” He began counting off what all he had done on his fingers, then looked at his cousin. “I didn't make the turkey or stuffing and we bought the rolls at the store, so I didn't make those. I didn't make the green-bean casserole and Mom made the pies that dad will bring over later. I did help with the cookies.”

“I see.” Amber walked to the oven, which was separate from the range top. “Is it time to baste the turkey?”

Modine looked at her and smiled, then at the clock. “Why, yes it is.”

“Troy, how would you like to learn about basting a turkey?”

“Please?” Troy smiled brightly.

“Look at him smile!” Alex yelled. “He's a queer! He likes cooking! And he has a girl's haircut!” Troy's smile faded fast and he frown took its place.

Amber turned and glared at her eldest and Maggie moved over to her side. “I have a suggestion. I think William wanted to move some wood around before it rains. We can send them over there to work.” She said in a hushed tone.

Amber shut her eyes and took a few deep breaths. “Ask if he's willing to do it today.”

Maggie went to the phone in the living room and made the call, while Amber took Troy to the oven and showed him how to properly baste a turkey. “We'll be good.” Both boys stood up and moved to their mother. “It's Christmas, you can't make us work on Christmas.”

“Why not?” Amber asked. “We're all working in the kitchen, why can't you be productive for a couple of hours.”

Maggie came back into the kitchen and nodded. “He'll be outside with Vance. I told him what all they've been up to so far.”

“Do we have to go over?” Alex whined.

“There are three choices. It's either go over on your own, I drag you over, or I take you back to Dad's place and we head for Reno now.” She paused for a moment. “With no presents.”

“We'll go.” Alex grumbled.

“You making Troy go over?” Johnny asked his Aunt Maggie.

“No. Troy gets to stay here. He's helping, you're not. Besides, heavy lifting is out for him this month.” Amber replied for her. When they hadn't moved, she pointed to the door. “Go. Now.”

They stood still for another moment, then grumbled and headed for the door. Troy heard Alex mutter before they left. “No fair.” The was a bit of silence and Amber clearly heard “Fucking wimp.”

“I'll walk them over.” Maggie said. That way we don't need to bury the bodies so close to dinner.”

“Thank you Aunt Maggie.”

~o~O~o~

Troy and Angie were in the love seat that sat near the Christmas tree. Most of the dishes had been prepared, and the last of them were in the oven for that final stretch to dinner. Maggie had gone over to help gather up the food to bring over. Modine was in her usual seat, with Conner by her side in his own seat. Christmas music played softly in the background. Joy, Amber and Olivia were busy in the kitchen.

The two kids sat there, reading a couple of the books that Angie had brought with her. She had showed him the books she had brought. Troy went with The Mouse and the Motorcycle, while Angie was reading Beezus and Ramona. He had wanted to read the other book, but the fear of Amber asking him why, or the boys coming back inside kept him to something that could seem a bit manly. But so far, his cousins were still out helping his father with firewood.

“Troy?” Modine said as she stood up and went over to the loveseat. She stopped and took a seat on the couch and turned so she could face him.

He looked up from the book. “Yeah? Is it time to put something else in?”

“Not yet. I was wondering if I could have a word with you real quick.” He sat the book down on an end table and started to stand up. “It's okay. You can sit down. I just wanted your opinion on something.”

“Okay? What is it?” He asked.

“Angie, could I have a quick moment alone with Troy? I promise you can return to your reading in just a couple of minutes.”

As if on cue, Joy called out to her daughter. “Angie? Could I get a hand in the kitchen?”

“Okay Mom.” Angie got up and went out of the room, leaving Troy with his mother and Grandparents.

“Well, I was looking at the table and counting the number of adults. We have ten seats at the big table and only nine adults. I saw you counting the chairs earlier too.” Troy's heart began to pound. He had already counted the number of Adults and chairs himself and saw that there was an extra chair. He so wanted to be at the big table, not stuck with Alex and Johnny. Modine put a hand on Troy's knee. “You've been so helpful around here till you got hurt and I know when you're better that you'll be helping again. You've even helped today, when you didn't have to. I don't want you to think that I am just ignoring that. You've changed so much in the past few months and I love you dearly. But in all fairness, the eldest of the kids should get the chair. I want to make sure that you're not going to be angry if I let Vance have that seat.”

Modine continued before he answered. “I know Vance hasn't been the best, but he's trying. If he was still in the same state of mind he was in back in October, he wouldn't even be worthy of that seat. But he's been good. I know that Johnny and Alex have been pains in the butt, to everyone, and you and Angie have done more then we would have asked of you today, but it wouldn't be fair to put just one of you at the table.”

“I don't mind.” Troy replied. It wasn't totally true. He wanted that seat, but she was not offering it to him. She was offering it to his brother. His grandmother did have a point. Since his punishment, he had grown to be a nice young man. “It should go to him because he's older.”

“I know it sucks.” Modine said as she pulled him close. “I have six brothers and two sisters. I sat at the kids table after I was married.”

Troy was shocked. He was glad his family wasn't that big. “I just didn't want to deal with Alex and Johnny anymore.”

“I'm sorry. But it's Christmas, a time to forgive and forget.” Modine said with a smile.

“I know.” Troy sighed.

“Plus, they leave tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Troy nodded.

The door opened up and Leonard and Troy's Uncle Tom came in, leading Alex and Johnny. After the men gave their greetings to Modine and Conner, Troy's uncle moved to the couch and took a seat and Leonard went to the kitchen to see his wife. Johnny went to the kitchen and began to demand a drink. Modine went back to the kitchen. Angie came out and took a seat next to Troy again and picked up her book so she could continue where she had left off.

Alex flopped down on the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “Angie, you could sit over here.” He patted at the seat of the couch next to him.

“Why? This seat is just fine.” She said as she sat on the love seat.

“You don't want to sit with a loser, do you?” He looked at Troy, smugness all over his face.

“Alex!” Amber snapped at her son from the kitchen.

“He's no loser, Alex. You are.” Angie said with a shake of her head.

“Hey, I was next door working. He's such a wimp that he couldn't even help.” Alex replied.

“Alex, are you starting trouble?” His father said as he walked back into the kitchen.

“No.” He called back. “Just offering Angie a seat by a real man, not a loser like Troy.”

“Son.” Leonard said from the kitchen. Before he could continue, Alex heard someone stomping out to the living room.

Amber came out and glared at him. She was followed by Modine, Joy and Olivia. “Young man, you have no idea what you're talking about.”

Maggie picked that moment to walk through the door and was followed by Vance and William. They looked around the room and Maggie asked. “Something wrong?”

“Just my son starting crap again.” Amber replied.

“I'm not starting anything! Why did we have to go help and Troy got to stay here!” Alex shouted.

“You were being punished. He was being helpful. So now shut your mouth and stop trying to start fights.”Amber replied.

Alex watched as his mother, and Aunts all went into the kitchen. Once he thought it was safe, he glared at Troy. “Wimp.”

Conner let out a long sigh and leaned forward in his chair. “Alex, Troy is no wimp. He stood up to three huge guys and defended your Great Grandmother, all while he was badly hurt.”

“I could have done the same, without being such a wimp” Alex scoffed.

“I doubt that.” Amber came back into the living room. “Remember last year at the ball park when Tony threw the baseball and it hit you where it hurts? He got kicked there, hard.”

Alex blushed a bit, but he did the usual macho thing, he denied it. “Well, yeah, but it didn't hurt that bad. I could have dealt with a kick with no problem.

Amber arched an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly to the side. “You could? I recall you cried about it for almost an hour and you wouldn't walk on your own for almost a day. You kept claiming that you were dying.”

“Well, yeah, it hurt, a little, but didn't he get hurt a month ago?”

“Yes and no. But son, he was hurt far worse then you. They had to operate. He got tripped after that an ripped out all the stitches and almost died from blood loss.” Amber laid it on thick, trying to shut her son up. “The fact that he's moving now impresses the doctors.”

“Okay, what did he have done?” Leonard asked. Amber leaned over and whispered in his ear and his face took on a green tint. He looked at Troy in surprise. “He...after they hurt him he still fought?” Amber nodded. Then his gaze fell on his son. “Trust me boy, let this drop. You can't beat what he did.”

Amber turned and looked from her husband to her Aunt Maggie. “Could we talk outside, please?” It wasn't how they had planned on approaching the subject, but she wanted to talk to her husband before it got too late and he just let the boys continue their disrespect for everyone.

“Still a wimp.” Alex muttered as the back boor shut.

Troy just shook his head, sighed and went back to the book.

~o~O~o~

Modine met Vance as he was coming out of the kitchen with a cup of water. She put a hand out and touched his shoulder to stop him. “Can I have a word alone please?”

“Um...sure.” Vance replied a bit worried.

“Just a moment, okay?” Modine smiled at him. “I promise it's not work and you're not in trouble.”

Vance put his cup down and followed his grandmother to the back porch. Modine shut the backdoor for privacy. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What is it?” He asked.

“There's an extra seat at the big table. There's ten seats and nine adults.” She stated. He began to smile. All the kids sat at the kid table. They had waited patiently for their chance to sit there. He could recall a couple of family meals where his Cousin Olivia and her brother Carter had to sit at the kids table with him and the other kids, due to other, older family members who had come for dinner.

“That leaves a seat open for one kid. There's no way in hell Amber will let her kids have it, not after today.” Modine stated.

Vance chuckled. “Yeah. Dad was talking to Leonard earlier. Man they were useless when we were moving wood.”

“I heard.” Modine nodded. “Good thing they don't live on the property.”

“Yeah.” Vance agreed.

“Vance, I know you have been waiting for your chance to sit there. And by all rights, the seat is yours. You are the oldest out of the five of you kids.” Modine stared. Vance knew a big “but” was coming soon.

Modine put a hand on his shoulder and threw him off by not giving him a 'but'. “The seat is yours, if you want it. Honestly, if you hadn't changed your attitude and kept being a pain in the ass, I would have never would have offered it to you. To be honest, I actually asked Troy his feelings on letting you have the big seat. I was going to give it to him because he's still moving slow and the whole no lifting thing, it would have been just easier to put him at the big table. Plus Alex and Johnny have been royal pains to him all day. But after I asked him, he said you should have it.”

“He did?” Vance blinked in surprise. “If I were him, I would have taken it.”

“Yeah. I know. And I can't blame you for that. It's a part of growing older, that chance to eat with the adults at the big table.” She smiled and nodded. “It's a lesser known rite of passage.”

Vance nodded. “I've been waiting for the seat for a couple years. I thought at Thanksgiving time, but Great Aunt Betty and her family came.”

“I know.” Modine said. “So will you join us at the table? I think there's a spot near Grandpa open up.”

“I'll take it.” Vance smiled brightly.

“Well then let's get inside. Dinner should be done by now.” Modine said.

By time they stepped in, Vance noticed that Joy and Angie had quickly set up the plates around the big table. The adults moved the food over and began taking their seats. Johnny had done a quick count, then he counted the adults. “I wanna sit at the big table!” Johnny shouted, then he amended his statement. “I'm gonna sit at the big table!”

Alex ran up to his mother. “Why should he get the seat! I'm older then he is!”

“Neither of you will get that seat!” Amber snapped at her boys. “They way you two have acted today, you should be happy you're getting food at all!”

“Actually, if we go by age, Vance is older than both of you and so is Troy, even if it is just by a matter of a few months.” Modine stated. “So the seat is Vance's.”

“That's not fair!” Johnny and Alex cried out in unison.

“It isn't?” Amber asked. “So how would it be fair to them if someone younger then both of them got to sit there and they couldn't?” Neither boy could answer.

Troy shook his head and grabbed a plate and went to get his food, before his Grandfather would say the prayer. He was glad that Vance at least got the seat. It would have hurt more if Alex or Johnny had taken it.

~o~O~o~

The kids were at the table finishing up on their dinners. Vance had moved from the big table to the seat next to Troy, with Angie on his brother’s other side of the oddly shaped table. It was partly an oval, but attached to the wall. The adults had helped Vance move his food, so they could clean up the dining room table. As the last of the adults came in and put their plate in the stack of dishes next to the sink, Amber walked over and stood behind her two boys. “Okay boys, it's time for the dishes. Get them done right the first time so we don't have to wait on the presents.”

Vance looked up at her and sighed. He was slightly confused as to why she told him to do them right the first time. He wasn't new to the dishes. “It's just me. Troy can't help, not till the doctor says it's okay.” He grumbled.

“That's right. Hurry, I want my presents.” Alex said with a smug grin.

Vance ground his teeth, but but didn't say a word, instead he just glared at his cousin. Troy stood up. “No, I can help you. I'm not that hurt.”

“Vance, Troy, sit down.” Amber said. They stopped halfway up and looked at her funny. “When I said boys. I didn't mean you two.” She placed her hands on her sons’ shoulders and turned them to face her. “You two are doing dishes.”

“WHAT!” Alex screamed. “We don't live here!”

“Neither do they.” Amber replied.

“But they live closer!” Johnny jumped in.

“But they don't live here.” Amber replied.

Alex got up and bolted to the living room followed closely by his brother, Vance, Troy and Angie. “Dad! Do we have to do the dishes! It's Vance's job!”

“Your mother said dishes. Get in there and do them.” He growled. “It's not Vance's job. It's a job for the kids. You two earned this with your actions today.”

“But there's so many of them!” Alex replied.

“Maybe you shouldn't have grabbed a new glass each time you wanted a drink. And you shouldn't have been grabbing a new plate each time you got more food.” His mother stated. “Yeah, we all saw you doing that.”

“I don't wanna do them!” Johnny stomped his feet on the floor.

“Well I got a surprise for you. When we get home, you two will be doing more around the house.” Leonard said.

“But....” Alex began to complain. “Isn't that Mom's job!”

“Not anymore.” Leonard replied. “Vance and Troy both work around the house, why can't you? From what I heard from your Aunt Maggie, Troy cooks and cleans in the house, except their bedroom, that's both of their job. Vance helps out in the field.”

“But we don't have a field.” Alex answered, hoping he had found a loophole.

“But we have a kitchen and a dirty house. So when we get home, you two are taking on more jobs. Troy is just a few months older then you, Alex. If he can do more work, so can you.” Leonard said. “So you two need to stop stalling and get in that kitchen, before I get off this couch and blister your behinds.”

“Can't they help?” Alex asked.

“Why should they?” Amber replied. “Troy helped with dinner and that's the reason that we asked them to do the dishes after holiday meals. We had to cook and clean, it wasn't fair. Well Troy helped cook and Vance was over here this past week cleaning. So they did their share. And after last year with you two grabbing new cups and plates all the time, then bugging them as they did the dishes, it wasn't fair to them.”

“Can Angie help us?” Alex asked.

“Why? She was helping with the cooking too. If Troy doesn't have to because of that, why should she. Besides, you two want to prove that you're grown up? Take more responsibility.” Their mother said.

The boys stood their ground, till their father started to get up. They turned around and glared at Troy and Vance. “Should be your job.” Alex muttered.

Amber grabbed his ear and tweaked it. “That's more then enough lip from you. Get in that damn kitchen, now.” She hissed at them.

“Ow...OW OWOWOW” Alex screamed out. Amber let go of his ear and the two boys slowly made their way into the kitchen, stomping with each step.

Amber looked to her children. “You'll do them right, or we'll be working on it all night long if we have to.”

Maggie got up from her seat and went to Amber as she started to go back into the kitchen. “Go. Sit with your husband. I'll make sure they do it right.”

“You sure?” Amber asked. “They'll try to just speed through it.”

“Ask Vance and Troy what I did to them the first time they did dishes quickly.” Maggie said as she headed into the kitchen.

Amber looked to Troy and he smiled, answering her before she could ask the question. “Mom found a dirty dish and she made us wash all the dishes.”

“Really?” Amber asked.

“All the dishes in the house. Even the ones we didn't use. I have three cupboards of old things I hadn't used in a long time that got a well needed cleaning.” Maggie called from the kitchen. “It taught them how not to rush a job. And your sons will be under the same scrutiny.”

“MOM?!?”

“If she says to wash them again, you will wash them again, understand?” Leonard called to his children. “I've always said if you're going to do a job, do it right the first time.”

“So true.” Conner said and William and his brother both nodded their agreement.

Maggie took a rag and quickly wiped off the big dining table. “If anyone wants, the table out here is good to use.”

Vance looked to Troy and just smiled. “Cool. Wanna play a card game while we wait?”

“Sure.” Troy looked at Angie. “What about you?”

“Yeah, I'll play.”

“Hey, what about a board game? I'll join in if you want to play with the old people.” Olivia asked as she stood up. “We can pause for the presents, then go back to it afterward.”

“Yeah!” Vance and Troy exclaimed.

As they started up their game, gaining Joy in the process, Vance and Troy took turns watching Alex and Johnny turn and glare at them. This would prompt Maggie to point out the dishes were in the sink, then Leonard would yell from the living room.

As they played their game, Troy chuckled and looked up as he heard Johnny ask. “Where does this go?”

“It's a cup. Where do you think it goes?” Maggie asked.

“I don't know?” Johnny replied.

“Where did you pull it out of earlier?” Maggie asked.

Johnny opened up the cupboard and less then ten seconds later, he asked again. “Where does this go?”

“It's a cup. Where did the last one go?” Maggie gritted her teeth and glared at them.

Vance, Joy and Olivia joined in the watching as Amber came stomping in. “You two have been pulling cup after cup out of that cupboard. You know damn well where the cups go! You know where everything but the pots and pans go. So stop asking stupid questions, and get to work.”

As I wrote this, I had two lines from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation stuck in my head.

One was from Ellen. "I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."
The other was from Clark "WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell."

The adult's table was that goal I never managed to achieve when I lived at home. The year that my brother should have been able to get to sit there, our youngest cousin threw a total fit and he got to sit there. Then after that, each meal, all my cousins showed up and my youngest cousin kept throwing his fits so my brother and I were the only ones at the kids table. Total BS

“Okay. How about this. Girls first, then the eldest kids.”

“So that's Angie and Troy?” Alex asked.

“Alex!” Amber snapped.

“Look at his hair Mom. He has girl hair.” Alex pointed to his cousin. Troy smiled and fluffed his hair, then he leaned back in the loveseat and hammed up how comfortable it was.

“That's enough young man.” Leonard said to his son. “Let's just get through the presents without you being more of a pest then you already are.”

Big thanks to Djkauf for the editing again.

Part two of the family meal and a little time with Tracy

December 25th 1982

The board game was in full swing, just about an hour after dinner had finished. In the kitchen the sounds of plates clinking, and pots being slammed around could be heard. Troy and Vance took the time to smile at each other every time that Johnny and Alex insisted it shouldn't be them doing it. But their smiles grew extremely wide when they heard their mother call out.

“Stop!”

Alex and Johnny stopped what they were doing and looked at their Aunt Maggie who was at the table, her attention on the two boys. “Now have you been making sure the dishes were clean?”

Both boys nodded and replied. “Yes.”

“Then why have some left the sink?” Maggie asked as she got up an stood by Johnny.

“Where?” He asked.

“You tell me.” Maggie answered. From the table, Troy and Vance held back the snickers. They knew what was coming next. She had done it for them the one time they screwed up. A chance to find the dirty dish. They failed that time too.

“There's no dirty dishes.” Johnny said as he looked at the plate in his hand. He quickly turned it to his chest and scraped a bit of food off with a fingernail.

“Oh really?” Maggie asked. “So you didn't just scrape food off with a fingernail? I saw your wrist moving.” She opened up the cupboard that Johnny had been putting plates in and pulled out a stack of ten plates. There she slowly went through them, handing ones with dried on food back towards Alex. “This is turkey. This is mashed potatoes. Gravy here. And I know Modine doesn't use these plates on a daily basis.”

“I can re-do them.” Alex said. Maggie opened up the cupboard where the glasses were and showed them a lipstick stain on one cup.

“Oh, you'll re-do them.” Maggie said and she began to empty the cupboard.

“That's not fair!” Both boys cried out.

“You're right. It isn't fair to your Great Grandmother to have dirty dishes the next time she wants to entertain a large group.”

From the table, Olivia called out, mimicking the boys from last year. “Hurry up, I want my presents.” This caused Vance, Troy and Angie to snicker, gaining them a dirty look from Alex and Johnny.

“Well I'm not doing them!” Alex stomped his foot.

“Alex!” Leonard shouted from the living room. His steps seemed to thunder through the house as he walked into the kitchen. “You will do ALL the dishes and you will do them right.”

“But it will take forever!” Alex whined.

“Then maybe you shouldn't have been rushing.” He looked to the clock. “Besides, it's not six yet, so we have all night.”

As the boys were about to complain again. “Leonard? May I alter the rules a tad?” She went over to him and whispered into his ear, then she stepped back and asked. “Well?”

“Go for it.” He nodded and waited.

What happened next surprised both sets of boys. “Since this is Christmas and you have thirteen people waiting on you, I will only pull out the dishes you've claimed to have cleaned up till now.” Alex and Johnny looked relied. “But one more mistake and I empty every cupboard in this house.” Their expressions fell again.

“But there's a ton of dishes here.” Alex replied.

“I know. Ask Troy and Vance how long it took them the one time I emptied the cupboards at home.”

Vance didn't wait to be asked, he looked at Alex and smiled. “It took us from five at night till almost nine thirty.”

Maggie looked at them, then went back to her seat. “You're getting a break, something they didn't get, just because of the holiday.”

“Well....” Leonard looked at them. “Looks like you two should start cleaning.”

~o~O~o~

As the dishwashing was winding down, with no more mistakes, Conner had gone to the dining room and leaned over to Vance and whispered something to him, then he came to Troy and whispered to him.

“Don't tell your cousins about those envelopes you got at your place, okay? That wasn't Christmas money, not exactly.” Troy nodded and Conner patted his shoulder and headed to the living room.

“Well, they're done.” Maggie said as she headed into the living room and went for the love seat.

Troy went to the living room with his cousins, only to find most of the seats had been taken by the adults. As much as he enjoyed the couch, he was willing to sit with the kids. But he cheated and started to grab a chair from the kitchen table. Olivia stopped him and took it from him and took it to the living room for him.

He was about to sit down when William got up and tapped him on the shoulder. “Troy, take the spot by your mother. I'll take the chair.” Troy looked at him for a moment. “Come on, I know that's not very comfortable on you right now, go sit by your mother.”

As Troy sat in the spot of the love seat closest to the tree, Alex looked at his mother. “Why does he get the nice seat?!?”

“Because the seats are not that comfortable and he's been good, unlike two boys who are closely related to me.” Amber said as she sat down.

Amber was on the couch with her husband and father. Modine and Conner were in their usual seats. Joy sat on the floor, with her daughter right in front of her. Olivia took up a spot by the tree and she began to pick through the presents. “How should I do this?” She asked. “Eldest to youngest? Adults first?”

“No!” All five kids called out.

“Okay, youngest to eldest.” Olivia smiled at them. “Adults first, then kids later?”

“No!”

“Okay. How about this. Girls first, then the eldest kids.”

“So that's Angie and Troy?” Alex asked.

“Alex!” Amber snapped.

“Look at his hair Mom. He has girl hair.” Alex pointed to his cousin. Troy smiled and fluffed his hair, then he leaned back in the loveseat and hammed up how comfortable it was.

“That's enough young man.” Leonard said to his son. “Let's just get through the presents without you being more of a pest then you already are.”

“Angie, because of your help in the kitchen, you get the first gift. From your Great Grandma and Great Grandpa.” Olivia handed a small package to her and the girl began tearing through the paper.

She pulled the paper off and squealed. “It's a Ramona book!”

Then Olivia handed the next one to Troy. “See, he's a girl!” Alex said with a huge grin.

“No.” Olivia said. “He gets his because he helped us out today.” She turned her attention to Troy. “It's from Grandma and Grandpa.”

He tore the paper open and found a book. It was actually two books. He pulled them out an smiled.

“What did you get?” William asked.

“Books.” Troy held them up and showed The mouse and the Motorcycle and Runaway Ralph. Troy looked to Angie and picked her book up from the end table where he had put it earlier. “Guess I don't need to borrow yours now.” He said as he handed it to her.

Angie began giggling. “Cool. It's an awesome book.”

“THOSE ARE GIRL’S BOOKS!” Johnny screamed out.

“Johnny!” Amber snapped at her youngest.

“They are?” Leonard leaned forward. “I read The mouse and the Motorcycle when it came out and I think I was like twelve.”

“Oh.” Johnny turned back to face the tree and he got very quiet.

Leonard looked to Troy and smiled. “You'll love them. Great books.”

“Thanks.” Troy replied, giving his cousin a smile. It was a small victory at least against the evil forces of Johnny and Alex. But each one counted.

Troy sat back and instinctively leaned into his mother and watched as the gifts got sorted out. He watched in glee as Alex and Johnny got clothes. There were also some action figures, but he didn't pay too much attention to that. He watched as Vance got a watch from his grandparents, plus a few books of his own and a few action figures from the Empire strikes back. Troy wasn't too surprised to see that he got some as well. He smiled at his cousins and Uncle, wishing that they knew about Tracy. He wasn't happy with many of the gifts, but he wasn't going to get mad and ruin the night.

It was Angie's gifts that caught his eyes. Not only did she get stuff from her Great Grandparents. She got stuff from her Grandfather and Aunts and Uncles. By the end of the gift giving, she had several cute skirts, a couple of blouses, one nightgown with a pony on it and some hair accessories. Troy felt the jealousy rise up in him. He leaned back in the seat, angry that he didn't get any hair stuff.

Maggie seemed to notice the shift in his attitude and she saw where he was looking. She pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. “You got some of that at home.” She whispered into his ear.

“I know.” He replied.

“But you got some nice books.” Maggie said.

He looked to her and smiled a little. “Yeah.”

“I'll look for those Ramona books the next time we go to Chico, okay?”

Troy looked at her and smiled wide. “Please?”

“Alright, how about some of that pie now?” Olivia asked.

“One moment.” Conner said as he got up and pulled out several envelopes. He began handing them out, making sure he got the children first.

Troy got his and he opened it up and found a twenty dollar bill inside. He handed the card to his mother and whispered. “Could you put that in your purse?”

“Sure thing kiddo. You better say thank you for all of this.”

“I will Mom.” and Troy stood up to start the rounds of thank yous.

“Maggie, is that food in the fridge?” William asked.

“Yes, in Tupperware and on the top shelf.” She replied.

Vance, you want to go with me?” William stood up and looked at his son.

“Where to?” Vance asked as he let go from hugging his grandmother.

“I am taking some food to one of the guys at work, because he had to work tonight.”

“Yeah, I'll go. Can I have pie when we get back?” Vance looked to his mother.

Maggie chuckled. “I'll save you some. Apple, Pumpkin or cherry?”

“Apple. And a slice of Cherry, if no one eats it all.”

~o~O~o~

Vance sat in the passenger seat of his fathers car, a cardboard box sat on his lap with several containers inside. The sun had set already and they seemed to be the only people on the road. “Dad?”

“Yeah, Son?”

“Why are we doing this?” Vance asked. “Did they ask you to?”

“No. I offered.” William replied. “Tony is a new guy, and his family all went out of town. He couldn't get the time off to go with them. And Larry offered to work Christmas day so Joe could spend the day with his family. Larry's all alone since his wife passed away a few years ago. So I offered to bring them a meal because they are stuck guarding the mill. ”

“Oh.” Vance nodded. “So you're giving them what they missed out on?”

“Right. Larry still has a family, but they don't live around here. So if he had stayed home, it was going to be cold cuts for his dinner. This isn't taking the place of friends and family, but it helps.”

“I see.” Vance nodded again as they pulled into the lot of the mill William worked at. They stopped at the guardhouse and found a man in his late fifties at the door. He gave them a huge smile as they pulled to stop. Another man stepped out, this one in his early twenties, he smiled just as brightly.

William got out and offered his hand to one, then the other. “Larry. Tony.” He went around the car an took the box from his son and took it back over to the two men. “This is my oldest, Vance.” He said as Vance got out of the car.

“Hey kid.” Old Larry said.

“Hi.” Vance gave a small wave as he walked over to them. William offered the cardboard box to the two men.

“It's got some turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy in there. Plus I think Maggie saved some of the scalloped corn. Sorry but the fruit salad and green bean casserole never made it to the left over stage. There's also a two slices of cherry pie and two of apple. There's two paper plates and some plastic silverware in there too.”

“Thanks, William.” Tony took the box and set it inside the guard shack, while Larry stuck his hand out and William shook it, then he offered the hand to Vance who shook it too. Tony came out and shook their hands as well.

“Thanks, man. If you hadn't brought that it was going to be peanut butter and jelly for dinner.” Tony said. “Tell the wife and family thank you from me.”

“Me too.” Larry said. “Tell your wife and the others thank you for the food.

“I will. But I better get going. Enjoy the meal guys and leave the stuff in the box on that table in the break room.”

Vance waited for his dad, then got in the car and he buckled up. As they pulled away and headed home he was quiet for a moment, then he looked over to his dad and smiled. “I kinda like that.”

“What?” William asked.

“Bringing the food. I feel good about that.” Vance said.

“So do I, son. It was something I think I had to do.” William said.

“Why?”

“You may not remember, but eleven years ago, I was working on a Christmas day and someone brought me Christmas dinner, just because I wasn't able to get home to you and your mother and broth...sister.”

“Wow.” Vance said. “That would suck to be at work on Christmas.”

“It does, son. Even if you're single, it still sucks.”

~o~O~o~

Troy headed back to his parent's place with his brother and mother. It was just around Ten in the evening. His two cousins had finally been taken back to their Grandfather’s place and that left Troy the chance to play another board game with his brother, Cousin Angie and her mother, Joy and Olivia. He had several books under his arms, and a bag with his other gifts.

As they got closer to the house, Troy's smile began getting stronger. He knew that once he was inside the house, Troy was going away and Tracy was coming back out. He had no intention of being Troy any longer then he had to. Maggie opened up the door and the three of them shuffled inside. Troy made a bee-line for the bedroom, followed closely by his brother. Both boys began to unload their gifts onto their bed. Vance was sifting through his as Troy began to shed his clothes.

“Can I have a moment?” Troy asked. “I want to change really quick.”

“Troy, I've seen you change before.” Vance replied.

“Troy? I think you mean Tracy.” He answered back. Vance looked over his shoulder to see his sibling holding a nightgown and a pair of panties.

“Got it. I'll be in the kitchen.”

“Just be a few minutes.” Troy stated.

Vance went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge and began looking around for something. Maggie came into the kitchen and chuckled. “Hungry already? You've had how many slices of pie?”

“Just a couple.” He said. “I was just looking though. Tracy kicked me out of the bedroom to change.”

“Ah. I wondered when she was going to take off her male clothes.” Maggie opened up the Tupperware container of cookies and pulled two out. She passed one to her son and she sat at the table.

“Can't say as I blame her. Man, I used to be bad, but Alex and Johnny.....wow.” Vance shook his head as he took a seat.

“I know. I can't believe that Amber cracked a cup with just one hand.”

Vance looked at her and cocked his head, wondering when that had happened, but a bigger question loomed on his mind. “Mom, did you ask Amber to have them do the dishes?”

“Yes I did.” Maggie nodded. “You would have been doing them all alone and after last year’s stunt of a new cup and plate every time, I figured they deserved a taste of their own medicine.”

“When they kept grabbing cups at dinner, I was getting pissed.” Vance shook his head and sighed.

“Me too.” Tracy said as she came into the kitchen. “That was the first thing they did.”

“And the best part about it?” Maggie smiled brightly. “They did it to themselves.” Both of her boys chuckled.

“Mom?” Tracy sat in a chair next to Vance and grabbed at the cookie bin. “Were we ever that bad?”

“You two used to dirty a lot of dishes, but not like they did.” Maggie answered. “But I broke you two of that habit, what, three years ago now?”

“Yeah.” Vance agreed.

“Come on. One more cookie, then it's bed for you two.”

“Thanks Mom.” They both replied.

~o~O~o~

Their Grandparents were in bed already and Joy lay there in the guest bed, with her sister Olivia on a cot and Angie in a sleeping bag on the floor. The little girl was already snoring away, a large stuffed dog in her arms. Joy had been thinking about her cousin Troy all night an wondering if she was making mountains out of mole hills. She rolled over and looked to her sister. “Olivia.” She whispered. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah. What's up?” She whispered back.

“I keep thinking about Troy and that whole Tracy thing.” Joy said. “Am I wrong for being concerned for Angie? I mean I don't want to let someone that could hurt her anywhere near her.”

“Protecting your daughter is never wrong, but you should get to know Tracy before you condemn her.” Olivia said.

“But I wouldn't let her go with those cross-dressing hookers on Hollywood and vine. What if Troy is like that when he's Tracy?”

“Joy. First of all, Troy is only eleven. Second, he's been castrated. He'll have as much sex drive as a piece of wood.” Olivia sat up. “But if you don't trust me, why not hang out with him, or should I say her.”

“But what if he hurts my daughter?” Joy asked again.

“Joy, look at what happened. Aunt Maggie said that he was almost raped. He's been suffering nightmares since that day all dealing with that rape. I know I'm out on a very thin limb here, but trust me, I think Angie will be safe around him. He spent a week with five girls and they loved Tracy. None of them claimed that he did anything, or I'm sure we would have never seen Troy today. Grandma says she is a wonderful young lady.”

“So....you think I'm over-reacting?” Joy asked.

“No Joy. I think you're being the type of protective mother that I want to be when I have children.” Olivia said. “But don't just blindly judge. Let your heart and your mind meet in the middle. That kid has got a heart of gold, always has.”

~o~O~o~

December 26th 1982

It was still early when Tracy woke up. She found herself in the kitchen, still in her nightgown and trying to make as little noise as possible. She had been itching to cook something for a couple of weeks. So she planned on making some bacon for herself and a couple of eggs.

Her father didn't have work that morning, but his body didn't know that. So after a quick stop at the bathroom, he followed the smell of bacon and hot chocolate. He came into the kitchen, one eyebrow raised as he stopped by his daughter. “Hi, Daddy.”

“Young lady?” He stood by the stove as she cooked the bacon. “Are you supposed to be pushing yourself?”

“Daddy, I've rested. I'm fine.” She replied.

“And you're breaking the doctor's rules. She said no lifting. That's a fifteen pound cast iron skillet. It didn't just leap out of the cupboard and onto the stove.” William said. “You don't need to go hurting yourself.”

“I'm, good Daddy.” Tracy turned to give him the best puppy-dog eyes she could manage. “Honest.”

“Okay, but you get worse and you can kiss any plans for the summer goodbye.” He said as he sat down.

“What? WHY?” She whined.

William gave her a stern look. “A medical professional told you to do something to keep your health in good shape, but you keep pushing the rules. You hurt yourself and your summer is called off, understand?”

Tracy slumped her shoulders. “I just wanted to make breakfast. I feel so useless around here.” Her voice was almost a whisper when she talked. Hey big green eyes began to fill with tears an William knew at that point that he had screwed up.

~So much easier with boys.~ He thought to himself as he quickly stood up. ~No rampant emotions all the time.~ He pulled his daughter into a hug and kissed her forehead.

“I'm sorry, baby. I don't want you to cry, but I don't want you hurting yourself either and threatening to take away your summer seems to be the only way to keep you listening to the Doctor's orders.”

“I know Dad. I just want to be helpful again.” Tracy leaned her forehead against his chest and cried for a few moments. William held her with one arm an tended to the bacon with the other to keep it from burning.

“You are helpful, baby. You just got to take it easy till you get the green light, then we will let you get back to your old chores.”

“I...” She sighed. “I hate waiting, Daddy.”

“I know.” He kissed the top of her head. He changed the subject, hoping to quickly end the tears. “How did you sleep last night?”

“Well. Mr. Cuddles kept the dreams away again.”

“Good. If Mr. Cuddles can keep my little girl safe, then he can stay in the house.” William smiled at her.

Maggie walked in to see her daughter, with tears in her eyes, hugging her husband. “I miss something?”

“No.” William said. “I got on someone's case and made her cry, so there's no need to yell at her.”

“Got on her case?” Maggie asked as she went to the coffee maker. She was awake now, not point in going back to bed. “Why, what did she do?”

“Cooking.” William replied. “But I yelled at her already, so don't do it.”

“Baby. You didn't have to cook for us. Besides, we may have slept in.” Maggie said.

“Well, I was going to cook for myself, then as you all got up, I'd cook for you and while I waited, I was going to read one of my books.” Tracy said.

“Well thank you. I can help you now if you want.” Maggie said. “You keep on the bacon, I'll work the toast. If Vance wakes up, then we'll just make more.”

“I'll get the eggs.” William said as he let go of his daughter and reached for the fridge.

~o~O~o~

Olivia, Joy and Angie sat at the table with Modine and Conner. Conner was busy reading the newspaper. Modine had the crosswords in front of her while the girls all ate. After a few minutes of watching Joy out of the corner of her eye, Modine looked up and put her pencil down. “What's wrong young lady?”

“It's nothing, Grandma.” Joy replied.

“You're flicking eggs all over your plate with your fork and your mind is a million miles from here. What's going on?”

“It's....” Joy wanted to just push it under the rug, but her grandmother could be persistent. “I've been thinking about Troy and that Tracy thing of his.” This caused Conner to look up from the sports page.

“It's not a 'thing', but what has you bothered?” Modine asked.

“I'm....am I worried.....” Joy sighed deeply and put her fork down. “I'm trying to keep Angie protected, but I keep thinking that maybe Olivia is right and I may be blowing things out of proportion.”

“Maybe you should go see her today. I'd bet that it's Tracy who went to sleep over there last night and woke up this morning.” Modine said. “There's no shame in protecting your kids, but you got to let them make their own decisions on things too. If you choose everything, Angie will never learn to think for herself. I'm not saying you should just let her run wild, but don't hide her from the world. Plus, if you just fear what you never know, then you could be cutting someone very important out of your life.”

“See?” Olivia looked at her sister and stuck out her tongue.

“I think I understand.” Joy said with a nod.

“Joy, when I first found out about the Tracy thing, when Angie showed me the clothes, I went mad. I was ready to beat the gay out of Troy. But over the past month, it's hard to not see a young girl, even when he's Troy.” Conner said.

Olivia pointed a finger at her sister. “I know you watched him yesterday at dinner. Tell me his mannerisms weren't a girls.”

“Oh, they were. Good thing Johnny and Alex couldn't see him sitting with his legs crossed.” Joy said. “And I swear I saw him smiling when it was just us girls.”

“That happens.” Modine smiled at her. “I was shocked the first day I saw a genuine smile from Tracy. I hadn't seen one on Troy, not a genuine one at least, in a very long time.”

“He has been moody for a long time.” Olivia stated.

“And now, at least when he can be himself, the gloom is gone.” Modine said.

“Okay. I''ll go over and see him...er...her.” Joy looked at the clock. “Think they're up this early?”

“Seven? Maybe, but you may want to wait a couple of hours to make sure Vance is up.” Modine replied.

“Can I go?” Angie asked.

Olivia put a hand on her sisters shoulder. “You should let her go. Let her meet Tracy, too.”

Joy thought about it for a moment, then looked to her daughter and held out one finger and pointed it at her. “You can go, but don't bug Troy...Tracy too much. No ton of questions, got it?”

“Yes.” Angie smiled brightly.

~o~O~o~

It was just past nine in the morning and Tracy was sitting on the couch with one her books. She had received several from her Grandparents and a few from her parents. She was currently reading the Pippi Longstocking, one of the books her parents got for her. She had tired to curl her legs under her, but her wound prevented that. It was just still too uncomfortable. She had taken a shower for the day already. She was in a decent skirt, not one of her favorites, but it was still nice. The shirt she wore was one of her other Christmas presents. It was a deep blue color, with roses around the waist.

The phone rang and she looked up, making sure that her parents could get it. Her mother picked up the phone. “Patterson’s, Maggie speaking....Good morning Joy.” Tracy watched for a moment, then went back to her book. She only caught her mothers side of the conversation. “Just sitting around the house.....sure.....sure, we don't mind company.....no, we're all dressed now...Yes, Tracy is here.....yeah, anytime, just come over when you want to.” She was quiet for a little bit, then spoke again as she leaned towards the base of the phone. Tracy looked over and raised an eyebrow. “Okay. See you in a few minutes. Bye, Joy.”

When she hung up the phone, William looked away from the TV to her. “Joy's coming over?”

“Yes. She wanted to meet Tracy first hand.” Maggie looked over to her daughter. “Olivia and Angie are coming with her, I hope that it's okay.”

Tracy nodded. “Yes. I don't mind.”

William was confused. He looked from his daughter, to his wife. “How does she know about Tracy?”

“They found out yesterday.” Maggie turned in her chair to explain to her husband. “Angie had asked about the panties and nightgown she had found at Thanksgiving. She just blurted it out, thank God that Johnny and Alex hadn't shown up at that point. But Joy wanted to know about it too. So Tracy let them into the secret.”

“Are they okay with it?” William asked.

“Olivia is fine and I think Angie doesn't care. Joy is worried that Tracy will hurt her daughter. So I guess Olivia and her talked about it and Olivia said the best way to handle her fears was to come meet Tracy.” Maggie

Tracy got up and went to her room, taking her book with her. She wanted to look her best and prove that she wasn't a danger to anyone. She took a quick look around the room that she shared with her brother. It was a study in contrasts. Since there wasn't much room to work with, neither had their own side, it was just the bunk beds. But some areas were split. One half of the dresser was cleaned off, except for the box that held Tracy's makeup and a small jewelry box. There was only one boy's suit hanging on one side of the open closet. The rest of the bar was filled with Tracy’s clothes. The book case was the same. The lower three shelves were all in a neat order, each book put in there Alphabetically by Author, then title.

She put the book on her dresser as she flipped through the few pieces of jewelry. Her ears weren't pierced, but she had a couple pieces of clip on earrings. She held them to her ear, then decided to not over do it. She took a quick look in the mirror and made sure she was presentable. She could hear the knock at the door, then it opened up and she heard her cousins.

She could hear the talking, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Her attention was on her hair. She wanted it to look just right. She was running a brush through her hair one more time when she heard giggling at her bedroom door, which caused her to jump. She looked at the door and she saw her mother and her cousins.

Maggie chuckled. “I was wondering where you went off too.”

“I....” Tracy blushed brightly and she looked at the floor. “I wanted to look good. You know.....” Her voice dropped and her shoulders slumped. “So you wouldn't think I was just a boy in a skirt.” The tears began to fall when Maggie came into the room and pulled her into a hug. Tracy's head rested against her mothers chest.

“Oh baby. You're not a boy in a skirt. Please don't cry, we shouldn't have laughed at you.”

Olivia came in and put her hand on Tracy's shoulder. “Kiddo, I only chuckled because you were doing such a girly thing. Primping your hair like you were? That reminds me of me years ago.”

“Years ago?” Joy stepped into the room. “How about this morning. You must have spent an hour in front of that mirror after your shower.”

“Hey. Enough of that.” Olivia gave her sister a halfhearted glare.

Angie came into the room and went up to Tracy, looking her over closely. “You look pretty.” She said

“Thank you.” Tracy blushed.

Angie looked around the room. When she stopped looking the questions came in a quick barrage. “You share the room with your brother? Aren't you afraid he'll see you? Did they remove your pee-pee? Is that what the Orchi....thingy you had done was? Did you have it done to be a girl? Can I see? Are you going to grow boobies soon? Are you a girl at school? Do you swim in a girls swim suit? Why aren't your ears pierced? Are you letting your hair grow out? Do you go to school as Tracy? Why were you Troy yesterday, when you look so pretty like Tracy?”

Tracy was stunned at the bluntness of some of the questions and she was doing her best to process them, most went by in rapid fashion. Joy stepped behind her daughter and covered her mouth with a hand. “Angie, you agreed.” She simply said as she looked at her child. “It's rude to ask a lot of those questions. You shouldn't ever ask about people's private parts. And you should never ask to see them. You wouldn't want Tro...” Joy caught the child in question begin to look at her and she corrected her mistake in time. “Tracy to see yours, would you?”

Angie pulled her mothers hand away from her mouth and being a typical kid with no filter over her mouth, she spoke freely again. “No. I wouldn't.”

“Then don't ask to see someone else.” Joy said. “Good girls never ask people that question.”

Angie looked around again and she squealed and lunged for the bed. Her arms wrapped around the soft fuzzy body of Mr. Cuddles. “He's cute!”

“It's Mr. Cuddles.” Tracy replied.

“Can I have him?” Angie asked.

“No!” Moved to rescue her little fuzzy friend. “I just got him and he helps me sleep. He keeps my nightmares away.” She sat on the bed with Angie and was trying to reach her bear

“What nightmares?” Angie turned to face her, holding the bear in her lap with a big hug. Tracy put her hand on the bear and was trying to slowly pull him to her.

“Angie, that's not a question to ask.” Joy said. “And that's her bear, so let go of him.”

“Does the bear help?” Olivia asked as Angie lowered her head and let Tracy take the bear back.

Tracy nodded. “In Livermore, my girlfriend held me at night and I didn't have the dreams. But they don't live here.”

“I'm just glad you're safe.” Joy said.

“Me too.” Angie stated as she wrapped her arms around Mr. Cuddles and Tracy.

“Hey, who's that?” Angie asked as she got off the bed and went to the dresser. There sat a picture of Tracy, Maggie and five other girls. Tracy got up and picked up the picture began pointed at each person.

“Well, you know me, and my mama. That's Rachel, Sage, Stacey and her sister Casey, they're Sage's cousins and the girl in the wheelchair is Brooke.” Tracy let Angie hold the picture for a moment. Joy and Olivia looked over her shoulder.

“That's one thing I have been wondering.” Olivia stood up and looked to Tracy. “How did you meet them?”

“My Uncle Frank....well he's not really my Uncle, but a friend of Mom's, well Rachel is his niece. She has known me since I was six or so. I told her years ago I wanted to be a girl, but when she asked me a couple years later, Vance heard and made fun of me so I kinda forgot that. But she heard about me from Aunt Shelly and she told Sage.” Tracy went to the bed and sat down.

“See, Rachel felt bad about asking me openly and she had Sage explain what she did wrong. So at Thanksgiving I went down and got to have two sleepovers with them, they were super cool. And then they had me meet the rest of them last week and it was fun.” Tracy looked up and smiled. “I loved being one of the girls, it was so cool.”

“How did Sage know what Rachel did wrong?” Joy asked.

Maggie leaned forward and whispered into her ear, then repeated it for Olivia. Both women looked at the picture, then at Maggie.

“Really?” Joy asked.

“From what Persephone said. Both sets, but she's living as a girl.” Maggie explained.

“Wow.” Joy just stared at the picture for a moment, then looked at Tracy. “And none of them had a problem with you? I mean with having....well, you know.”

“Not at all. They were all great.” Tracy replied.

Olivia elbowed her sister. “See. I think Angie will be just fine.”

“Yeah, okay. I was wrong. Don't rub it in too much.”

~o~O~o~

Just before ten there was a knock at the door. Vance got up from his mother’s seat, where he had been watching the football per-games. He opened up the door, then pulled it open all the way. “Hey Grandpa. Did I miss work today?”

“Not at all Vance. I wanted to catch the San Francisco game today. We can work tomorrow.” He smiled at his son.

“Then what's up?” William asked, getting out of his chair.

“Got an offer for all of you.” Conner said, looking to the kitchen where he saw them.

Conner went to the kitchen doorway, so Joy, Olivia and Maggie could hear him. Tracy had her own seat and Angie was in her mothers lap. “Modine was wondering if you all of you would like to join us for dinner tonight? Nothing too special, just all nine of us.”

They talked for a few moments, then Maggie nodded. “We'd love to.”

“Good. I'll tell her.” Conner smiled at them. “Ladies.” He turned and headed for the door, stopping to give Vance and William a glance. “See you all at four then.”

“Does Modine need us to bring anything?” Maggie asked from the kitchen doorway.

“I'll have her call and we can plan from there.”

“Thank you, Dad.” Maggie called after him as he left.

“So do you have any dolls?” Angie asked Tracy.

“No.” Tracy replied. “Haven't got a lot of girl’s toys. Actually, I don't think I have any.”

“Aww. We could have played with dolls or something.” Angie said, then she smiled. “I got some with my clothes at Great Grandma's place. You wanna see them when we go over there?”

“Sure.” Tracy smiled back.

~o~O~o~

Joy sat at the kitchen table with her Aunt, sister and Grandmother and watched as her daughter and cousin Tracy played with some of the dolls that Angie had brought along. She sat back in her chair as the two girls played, watching intently for any signs of trouble.

Olivia broke her concentration by putting a hand on her shoulder and chuckling. “Hey, you okay?” She asked.

“Yeah.” Joy nodded. “It just surprises me.”

“What does? Tracy?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah. All these years that I've seen Troy and he's barely smiled. That grin has been on Tracy's face since she picked up that doll.” Joy turned to look at the women at the table. “She's definitely a different person than what I expected.”

“Joy, you hear the phrase 'a boy in a dress' and you think hookers. They're not all standing on the corner of some street offering sex for money.”

“I know. I....” She sighed and lowered her head a bit. “I see that now.”

“She's a good girl.” Maggie said, looking to her own daughter. “I'm very proud of my daughter, we all are.”

And that's all for Christmas of 1982. Up next, more of Tracy meeting life head on

“Why?” He asked again, wiping at the tears in his eyes. His pain had become frustration, which was quickly boiling over into anger. “WHY?” He pushed back against her and forced his tears back long enough to scream. To him it was a simple question. But his mother couldn't answer it, she had failed in the past. He pushed against her and sat up on his own. “WHY!!!” He bellowed.

“WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BORN LIKE THIS?!?” He glared at her. “WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE THIS....THIS THING BETWEEN MY LEGS?!? WHY CAN'T I BE A NORMAL GIRL!?!” The floodgate that held back the tears shattered, causing the young boy to bend slightly and sob uncontrollably.

The rating for this episode is slightly higher, due to the content within. I felt it was time for "the Talk"

Please bear with me, this one wasn't edited by an outside source, mostly because I am an impatient fool.

December 27th 1982

Tracy was sad. With each step that brought her closer to her house, her happy mood was shred away, as though someone was taking a potato peeler to her soul. It wasn't the fact that she was going home after spending time with Joy, Angie, Olivia, her mother and her grandmother. It was where she was going to be in an hour and how she had to go there.

Maggie had taken the day off of work and had been hanging out with her daughter as well, but that wasn't what made the girl sad. She wasn't upset by the fact that her father was at work. No, this was bigger that that. Tracy didn't want to go home, because she had to become Troy for a doctor's appointment. The only ray of sunshine from the whole deal was that she could get off her restrictions. But once again, Troy was the one with the appointment.

Tracy sighed as she entered the house and went to her bedroom. She didn't want to get out of her clothes. She loved these clothes. From the dark blue skirt, with tiny red roses that circled the bottom, to the light blue shirt, also with roses on it, to the blue shoes with pink glitter on them. She was happy with this look. Her hair was in pigtails, although it wasn't braided like her friends in Livermore had done for her.

Tracy went to the dresser and pulled out a pair of pants, underwear and a shirt for Troy, then tossed it on the bed. Then she sat on her bed and began to untie her shoelaces, then pulled off one shoe, then the other. Next came the socks. White ankle socks with little pom poms on the top.

Once that was done she stood up and pulled off her top and placed it neatly on the bed. She craned her neck an sighed at the sight of her flat chest. She pulled her arms through the straps of the bra, a trick she learned from her mother, Then she pulled out two small rolled up nylons, to fill out the training bra, but not make her chest look too big. She grabbed at the base of the bra and turned it around to get at the clasp easier. When it was off and she had placed it on her bed, she turned and looked at the mirror. She wasn't aware that this had become ritual with her. A part of her wished, as she looked at her reflection, that she could see something. Any tiny change in her chest size would have been accepted. Sure, she had something, but not much. Even being able to fill a training bra would have made her ecstatic. Brooke had something, so did Stacey, Casey and Rachel. Even Sage had a chest forming, or so she thought. A small part of her wished that a Doctor would show up and tell her she was just like Sage, part boy, part girl, and get her closer to the goal she desired.

She sighed as she realized that this wasn't the day that she'd be visited by the boob fairy and went to work on stepping out of her skirt. Once it was off, she placed it on the pile of growing clothes, then she looked down. The panties she wore were a simple white number, with little pink clouds on them. But that wasn't what grabbed her attention. It was the unsightly bulge in them. It wasn't a big bulge, but it was still there, and to her, even the slight size of it was just too much.

She shut her eyes as she lowered her panties. She so wished that it would just fall off, but she knew it hadn't. Tears began to fell from her eyes as she let the cloth slide down her legs and to the floor. She bent down and picked it up, feeling that accursed part rubbing against a leg. The tears turned into light sobbing. She placed the panties on the bed, then grabbed at the clothes she had to wear and the flung them to the bedroom door, screaming at the top of her lungs.

As she fell onto her bed, grabbing at her pillow and sobbing into it, Maggie came rushing into the house. She went straight for her kids room. She froze only for a second when she saw her youngest child, naked on the bed an sobbing. She went in, tripping on the clothes that had been thrown into the doorway, then kneeling at the bottom bunk. She wrapped her arms around her youngest and pulled the sobbing, shaking child to her. “Baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt?”

It was Troy who rested his head against his mother’s chest and sobbed. The happy daughter Maggie had seen just minutes before, was now a miserable little boy again. He sobbed for several minutes, till he looked up and asked a simple question.

“Why?”

“Why what, baby?”

“Why?” He asked again, wiping at the tears in his eyes. His pain had become frustration, which was quickly boiling over into anger. “WHY?” He pushed back against her and forced his tears back long enough to scream. To him it was a simple question. But his mother couldn't answer it, she had failed in the past. He pushed against her and sat up on his own. “WHY!!!” He bellowed.

“WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BORN LIKE THIS?!?” He glared at her. “WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE THIS....THIS THING BETWEEN MY LEGS?!? WHY CAN'T I BE A NORMAL GIRL!?!” The floodgate that held back the tears shattered, causing the young boy to bend slightly and sob uncontrollably.

Maggie reached out and pulled him back to her and held on tightly. Her own voice cracked as she held him tightly. “I don't know.” She placed a very gentle kiss on his forehead and whispered again. “I just don't know.”

Troy looked up at her thought tear stained eyes. “I just want to be a girl. Is that so wrong?”

“No. not it's not.” Maggie replied.

Troy leaned his head against his mother for a bit more, till he broke the silence without looking up. “I still got to go today, don't I?”

“Well, the sooner you go, the sooner you can start cooking again.” Maggie answered.

“I just.....” He shook his head. “I just don't want to wear that stuff.” He waved his hand at where he had thrown Troy's clothes.

“I know.”

“Do I have to?” Troy looked up with pleading eyes.

Maggie knew she was looking at a tough decision. She could either take charge and tell him to get dressed as Troy, but then he would hate her. Or she could let Tracy go to the appointment, but that would put her little girl in harms way. Or her third choice was to let her youngest make the choice on his, or her, own.

“Baby. I can't make this decision for you. I can only tell you that if you go how you want, people could see you and that could cause problems.” Maggie hugged him once more. “I want you happy, but I need you to be safe. No mother wants to see her children attacked for who they are. At least not this one.”

Troy watched her as she bent forward, kissed his forehead, then let go of him and stood up. “So, I should go as Troy?”

“Should? Yes. I know you hate it, but if people saw you, they may not understand.” Maggie said. “But I don't want to push you in either direction. Sometimes in life, we have to do things we hate, but it's how you handle it that defines who you are. You know that you're Tracy Patterson. But it's the struggle to fully become Tracy Patterson that will make your journey worth it.”

He sighed as she headed for the door. “I guess.”

“I'll be in the kitchen. Come out when you're ready and we can take off then.” Maggie said as she walked into the hall. She went to the 'fridge and pulled out a couple slices of cheese and unwrapped them. She felt bad for making him choose, but she couldn't bear her child hating her.

A few minutes later, Troy came out into the kitchen. He didn't look up at her, he just watched his feet for a moment. “I'm ready.” He said in a voice that seemed devoid of life.

It was at that moment Maggie made a decision. “Okay.” She stood up and fished the car keys out of her purse. “Can you go hop in the car. I need the bathroom. Go ahead and put the radio on what ever you want to listen to.”

“Sure.” He shrugged and headed for the front door. He climbed into the car and put the key in the ignition, then turned it one till the radio came to life. It only took him a moment to tune in one of the Top 40 channels. The radio began blaring out “Mickey” a song that would normally have Tracy dancing in the seat. But Troy just leaned back and shut his eyes.

A few moments later the radio had moved onto Man-eater. Maggie opened up the back seat of the car and put a bag in, then she shut the door and got in the drivers seat. “Well, Kiddo, let's get you taken care of.”

~o~O~o~

Troy lay on his back, eyes shut, while his mother was busy checking out the same spot on the wall she had been staring at for more then a few minutes now. The white gown that Troy had on was pulled up to his waist and the doctor was busy making one last inspection of his surgery site.

Well.” The Doctor said as she pulled his gown back to cover him up. “It looks like someone was good while they visited friends.”

“Yes.” He said with a nod. He slowly sat up as Maggie turned to face the Doctor.

“Well, I think we can raise the restriction.” She said. His smile started to come back, but she held up one gloved finger. “But not remove it.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

She went to the counter and pulled off her gloves, then tossed then in a trashcan. As she began washing her hands, she spoke up. “I will lift the weight limit to twenty pounds for the next month. At the end of that, I want to see you one last time and we may lift it all together. But until then, you will take it easy and no sports of any kind. Understand?”

“Yes.” He nodded, giving her a slight smile.

“Good. But the usual things apply. If it hurts, stop. If it hurts bad, come and see me, okay?” This time she looked at Maggie who nodded. "You also don't need to use the bandages anymore. There was no blood and it looked quite healed to me."

“After the last time.....” Maggie started to say.

"I totally understand. Better safe than sorry." Doctor Davis said as she dried off her hands, then grabbed at a clipboard with two leaflets on it and went to the chair she had been sitting on. “Good. Now there is one last thing that I need to discuss today, with both of you.”

“Nothing bad is it?” Maggie asked.

“Not really. But with his current state, it's something that needs to be covered.” Doctor Davis looked at Troy and smiled. “Have you had sex education in school yet?”

Troy shook his head. “No. I heard that was for the eighth grade.”

“Seventh.” Maggie corrected. She looked to the Doctor. “Our other boy took it earlier this year.”

“Ah. I see. Troy, do you know anything about sex?”

Troy shrugged. “A little. I heard stuff from people at school and We....” He looked at his mother for a moment, then turned to not let her see his face. “We kinda found my Dad's books and magazines.”

“We've kinda put off the talk for Troy for a while. We've both been busy with work.....” Maggie said, lowering her gaze as though she was in trouble. “And don't get me started on how William gave Vance the talk.”

“Well, I'm not going to give you 'the talk.'” The doctor made the air quotes, then she took the two pamphlets and handed them to Troy. “That is your parents job. What I want to talk to you about is hormones. I got these from a couple of my colleagues and I figured with your....special situation, it would be best to show you both sides of this.”

“What do you mean?” Troy asked as he took the pamphlets. One was blue, with a picture of a young boy on it, the other one was pink, with a young girl on it. Both had the same title. “Puberty and you.”

She rolled her chair a bit closer to Troy. “Well I recall you wanting to be a girl. So I figured that you should hear what both girls and boys go through.” She watched as Troy flipped open the girls pamphlet and his face turned a bright red. He looked up her with huge eyes. He began to close the pamphlet and she stopped his hand. “Stop. There is nothing wrong with looking at that. You need to understand a few things so we know how to proceed.”

He didn't re-open the pamphlet, but she continued. “Hormones are what makes us....well us. You have a brother, right?”

“Yeah.” Troy nodded. “Vance.”

“Has he changed any in the past couple years? His voice maybe?” The Doctor asked.

Troy bounced in place and pointed at her. Making fun of Vance and his voice had become a bit of a hobby for Troy, but only when Vance wasn't around. “Yeah! His voice sounds funny at times. Like when he sings, it used to sound good, now it sounds like a cat is being stepped on.” Maggie began to snicker and the Doctor bit her lower lip for a second to fight the urge to join when Troy tired to imitate his brother.

The Doctor held up a hand and Troy stopped, a huge smile on his face. “How about hair on the face. Does he have any facial hair?”

Troy nodded. “A little. It looks like a small caterpillar is sleeping under his nose.” Maggie began laughing harder. The doctor had to turn away for a moment to clam herself.

Once The Doctor was sure they were both back to normal, she began the questions again. “What about your father? Does he have any facial hair?”

“No...well not normally. I mean in the morning, before he goes to work he doesn't, but when he gets home, his face is all scruffy.” Troy replied.

“Baby, that's a five o'clock shadow.” Maggie said. “He shaves in the morning before he goes to work.”

“Oh.”

“Troy? The facial hair and your brother's changing voice, that's testosterone. It's the male hormone.” The Doctor gently reached over and opened up the blue pamphlet. “It's made here.” She pointed to a picture and his cheeks went red again.

He looked away from her and the picture. “But I thought mine was destroyed.”

She nodded. “It was. Bare with me and we'll get to the point in a bit.”

“Okay.” He replied.

“Now, these friends of yours down south, are they all girls?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Have you noticed how they are changing too? Their chests are getting bigger and their hips are getting wider?”

“I only met some of them a week or two ago.” Troy replied. He kept quiet on how he had seen Brooke naked.

“Ah. How about girls at school. Have you seen it there?”

Troy nodded. “Yeah.”

“Those changes are caused by Estrogen. Now I've simplified this. I could have gotten into all of the scientific stuff, but I don't want you confused.” She said. She leaned forward and held up a finger. “But keep in mind, that all men have estrogen and all women have some testosterone too.”

“Is that why.....” Troy's cheeks went a bright red again. “Why some guys look like they have boobies? I've got an Uncle who has big boobs.” He held out his hands in front of his chest to show how big they were. “They jiggle when he runs and stuff. Dad keeps joking that he needs a bra.”

Maggie began snickering again. She put her hand over her mouth and fought the urge to brust into laughter. Doctor Davis wiggled her hand in a kinda motion as she fought the urge to join in with laughter. “Some times that could be the reason. Other times it could be severe weight gain.”

“Oh.”

“Now, all women have testosterone too. I have it, so does your mother.” The Doctor stated. “It helps with muscle growth and bone strength.”

Troy did, as all kids do. He put all the information together and looked at the Doctor, a bit confused. “Is that why some women have facial hair?”

“Some do. Some it's really easy to see, others, not so much.”

Troy turned as began looking at his mother, very closely. She raised one eyebrow and pointed at him. “You say anything and I tickle you till you pee your pants, understood?”

He quickly looked back at the doctor. “Now the reason I brought this up was because of your accident. You don't have testes anymore, so no testosterone.”

“But I don't want to be a boy.” Troy replied.

“I know, but to be able to give you Estrogen, I would need the approval of a licensed therapist.” Doctor Davis said. “You have seen the one in Chico, right?”

Before Troy could answer, Maggie spoke up. “We went once, but neither of us were impressed by her, so I found a new one to take Tracy to.”

“Okay. Well, to get anything other then testosterone, we'll need his approval. I can hold off on any shots for a while, but you were getting to the point where you will need hormones. It's a part of growing up.”

“So we can wait then? For a few months, maybe?” Maggie asked.

“For now.” Doctor Davis looked at Troy, then Maggie. “Do either of you have any questions?”

Troy shook his head. Maggie shook her head, but answered. “If he has more questions on the hormones, I'll answer them, if I can't we'll give you a call.”

“Sounds good.” Doctor Davis stood up. “Well there is nothing more, I will let the youngster get dressed. I'll let the receptionist know and you can make an appointment on the way out.”

“Thank you.” Maggie said.

“No problem.” Doctor Davis smiled at Troy. “You take it easy and I'll see you soon.”

“Okay.” Troy answered, then he watched her leave.

Once the door shut, Maggie looked at Troy and smiled. “Well that went well.”

“I guess.” He replied, still a bit embarrassed at the turn of topics.

“Hey, you can start cooking again.” Maggie reminded him.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her.

“How would you like to go to Sacramento with me?”

“As Troy?” The smile faded.

“No silly. I was wondering if my daughter would like to go to Arden Fair Mall with me? They got some after Christmas sales going on today.” Maggie replied. “We can leave straight from here and hit the highway.”

“But my clothes are at home.” Troy said.

“Not all of them.” Maggie grabbed the leather bag she had put in the car and opened it up to show him the clothes he had been wearing earlier that morning. His eyes lit up and his smile returned in force. “Now you can either change in here, or the car.”

“In here? But what about people in the lobby?” He asked.

“Well, not in here, but in the building. You had wondered why I parked in the back?” Maggie asked. Then she handed the bag to him and stood up. “I parked back there because the back lot is usually just the doctors and there is almost no one out there.”

“So I can go straight to the car?” He asked as his mind worked out what she had planned. “But what about the lobby?” Maggie knew it was a justifiable fear. The building there were in was a large building filled with many different types of doctors. Each had their own lobbies, but the main bathrooms were in the halls that connected everything together.

“Simple. You put on the panties, shirt, bra and padding in here. Put on your coat to cover the blouse. Then put Troy's pants on along with his shoes. We stop at the bathroom and you switch the pants for a skirt and you can change your shoes and socks in the car.” She cocked her head to the side. “Sound like a plan?”

“Yeah!” He began pulling out the clothes as she headed to the door.

“I'll go set up the appointment and I'll meet you at the front desk, okay? Then on the way out of town, we'll grab some Burger King in the drive thru.”

“Cool.”

~o~O~o~

Maggie had decided that “the talk” had been put off long enough and with her daughter's budding feelings for Peter, plus her having seen one, or more, of her friends naked and was now questioning herself, it was well over-due. Her mother sighed as she summoned her courage to bring up sex. The one advantage she had was Tracy was a captive audience, so she tempted fate. She tapped her fingers on the steering-wheel and gave a quick glace at her daughter, then she looked back to the road. “Tracy, I'd like to talk with you, okay?”

Tracy raised an eyebrow, wondering what she could want to talk about. “What about?”

“I want to talk about sex.” Maggie blurted it out, hoping that the fast it was over, the better they'd both feel.

“Do we have to?” Tracy whined.

“Well, I could leave this talk to your father.” Maggie looked at her daughter for another moment, then back at the road. “But he only knows about the boy side of sex.” She sighed and when she spoke again, her voice was a grumble. “Plus his idea of the talk was to just let your brother read those magazines. You really want to talk to your father about sex?”

Tracy shook her head. “No.”

Maggie nodded and put a hand on her daughter's knee. “Baby, I know it's a bit embarrassing, but you need this. Between you and your brother, you need the talk more, because your coming at this from the middle. You have a girls spirit, but a boy's body.” Tracy blushed hard. Maggie continued. “I know you know about sex. I know those books of your fathers keep getting moved and I'm sure you've read some of them. So how much do you know?”

“Well, some.” The young girl replied.

“Do you understand the basics?” Maggie asked. “Like that's where babies come from?” Maggie waited as Tracy nodded.

“A man and a women have....you know...” Tracy could see her mother look over.

“Sex?” She asked.

“Yes.” Tracy began to examine her shoes.

“Tracy, it's just you and me in this car. Trust me, I'm as embarrassed as you are. But we need to have this talk.”

“I know....it's just....” Tracy looked up for a moment, then back at her shoes. “I'm embarrassed.”

“You're not alone sweetie.” Maggie replied. “But it's your body. You need to know about your body, not bury your head in the sand and think there is nothing there. Plus there is nothing wrong about sex. Some people will tell you it is a dirty act, but it can be the most beautiful thing you ever do.”

Tracy kept her gaze on her shoes. “It can?” She bit her lip and recalled some of the dreams she had about Peter.

“It can.” Maggie nodded. “You need to understand right now, sex can be used many ways, okay?”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked.

Maggie began to blush a little. “Well there's what couples do. It brings the couple closer.”

“Like you and Dad?” Tracy couldn't look at her mother as she asked it. She had the basics of sex from books that her father had stashed in his bedroom. Vance had showed them to her a couple years earlier, after their father had showed then to her older brother. She had a hard time picturing her parent's doing any of the things she had read or seen. As far as she was concerned, her parent's didn't have those parts.

“Yes, exactly like that.” Maggie replied. “There's also people who do it for money, or other things like that.”

“Why...why do people have sex for money?” Tracy arched an eyebrow. It was a question that she had pondered before, but never had the nerve to ask.

Maggie sighed. “It's one of the oldest professions in the world. It's called prostitution. The people that do it, and it's not just women, do it for a number of reasons.”

Tracy looked to her mother. “Like what?”

The question made Maggie pause for a moment. She didn't know any hookers, not that she knew of, at least. “Money would be the biggest reason. Some do it to get money for drugs.....and remember what we've always told you, drugs you don't get from the doctor, or the drugstore are bad, understand?”

“Yes Mama.” Tracy replied. “But then why do people do drugs?”

“Because they get addicted. Once they had it once, it's hard to stop.” Maggie thought about it for a moment and nodded. “Do you like chocolate?”

“Yeah, you know I do.” Tracy nodded.

“And you know how hard it is to stop eating candy bars?” She watched Tracy nod again. “Being addicted is a lot like that. It gets to the point where you can't function without the stuff.”

“So people have sex to buy drugs?” Tracy surmised.

“Not all people. Some hookers may save it, but I don't know any that I can ask.” Maggie smiled. “Some of them are even addicted to sex, so they do that to help themselves out.”

“Really?” Tracy blinked a couple of times.

“Yes. Sex is a drug to some people and they can't get enough.”

“Really?” Tracy raised an eyebrow. “Like those women in the magazines?”

“Some of them do that for the money.” Maggie said.

“Oh.”

“There is another aspect of sex. I don't want to bring it up, but given the past, I feel it would be stupid not to.” Maggie pulled off the road and put the car into park. She turned to face her daughter better. As her mother spoke, Tracy began to look at her lap. “Some people use sex to hurt others. That's rape.”

“Like what Bruce tried to do?” Tracy guessed. Maggie reached out and touched her daughters hand.

“Yes, just like that.” Maggie nodded. “Something so beautiful and good, should never be a weapon. And that's why I think it hurts so much.”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked.

Maggie undid her seat belt and slid over slightly and held her girl. “You know right from wrong and your body knows what it likes. So when someone forces you to have sex, they are taking something that you should like, something that should be cherished and twisting it into something evil.”

Maggie let go of her daughter, then took one of Tracy's hands in her and placed them over Tracy's heart. “Remember this, Sweetie.” She lifted Tracy's head up so the girl was looking right in her eyes. “This is your body. Only you can choose who you want to touch you. If others make you have someone touch yourself, then it's not your choice. And if you don't want to do it, then don’t.”

“What Bruce did was wrong. He didn't get far, but he took a part of you away that you'll never get back. He took away a piece of innocence that was yours to give away, when you wanted and to the right person.” Maggie watched as Tracy did her best not to cry. She let go of her daughters hand and pulled her into a hug.

The two women began to cry. Mother held daughter as the demon from a month earlier loomed over them again. After a few moments, Maggie gently kissed her daughters forehead then leg go of her. “I'm sorry I brought up the past, but....”

“I think I understand.” Tracy cut in. She bit her lower lip for a moment, then looked up at her mother. “I know how it felt, so the next time I feel that, I know to run away?”

“Yes.” Maggie nodded. She patted Tracy's hand. “It could be anyone who makes you feel like that. Baby, sex should always be consensual.”

Tracy sat there for a moment and scrunched up her nose as she tired to understand what her mother had said. “What does that mean?”

“It means that you give your consent. It means you want it.” Maggie said.

“Oh.” Tracy sat back in her seat. “So, if I don't want it, then it's non-consensual, even if they do?”

“Correct.” Maggie nodded. She put the car back in gear and pulled back onto the small two lane highway.

“So if Peter and I....”

“No.” Maggie cut her off, holding up one finger, but she had a smile on her lips. “Remember what I said the other day?”

“No.” Tracy replied.

“I said that eleven is a bit young for sex.” Maggie stated. “You better not even think about sex until you're old enough.”

“How old is that?” Tracy asked.

With out blinking or any hesitation, Maggie replied. “Thirty.”

“Moooom.” Tracy whined at her.

“Kidding.” Maggie smiled at her. “Eighteen is the legal limit. Anything under that and you can get into major trouble. That's called statutory rape. It means that at least one of you is under the age of consent, which is eighteen. So if you were to find a younger guy and you're eighteen, you can get arrested.”

Tracy thought about that for a moment and shook her head as things were getting confusing. “Wait...how is that different from regular rape?”

“You can both consent to it, but if one of you were under eighteen, then the older one can go to jail, if the parent's were to press charges.” Maggie looked at her daughter with a no nonsense glare. “And trust me, I will press charges if you're the younger one.”

Tracy looked to the floorboard as he mother looked back to the road. “Baby, there is no reason to rush into sex. It is honestly something left till you get older.” She put a hand on her daughters knee. “But can I ask a few questions?”

“I guess.” Tracy shrugged her shoulders.

“Have you ever touched yourself....down there?”

“MOOOOOMMMMM!” Tracy turned a bright red and stared at her mother in shock.

“Oh please, if you touched yourself, then your like everyone else.” Maggie stated, rolling her eyes as she said it. “Despite what people say, it's normal. So, have you?” When her daughter was quiet for a moment, she looked over and sighed. “Tracy, I don't like this any more then you, but it's a talk we should have had already. Plus the sooner it's done with, the less you have to hear it. And if you keep talking, I'll take you out to a nice restaurant tonight for dinner.” She waited a moment or two and re-asked her question. “So have you touched yourself down there?”

Tracy blushed and nodded. “Yes.” She said timidly.

“And did it feel good?”

Tracy sat there for a moment and shook her head. She wanted the subject to be over with, but they still had another forty minutes in the car and there was no escape. Plus she knew her mother would start the topic again on the way home, so she reluctantly answered. “Not really. I mean I did it, but I hated the fact that it was on my body, so I tried to imagine it wasn't that, but a girl's part that I was rubbing.”

“I see.” Maggie felt her own cheeks get red. “Have you ever had times where it got hard on it's own?”

"MOOOM!"

"Baby, you're not the onely one with a working body." Maggie said. "So?"

Tracy nodded. “The other day, when Peter came over.”

“I know.” Maggie stated.

Tracy's head whipped to her mother and her jaw dropped open. “What? How?”

“It was kinda showing when you came into the kitchen.” Maggie replied nervously. She hated this as much as Tracy, but as far as she could recall, she had seen a bulge there, and people finding out about Tracy stayed at the front of her mind. “Baby, you got to watch that. If you had been in public, you could be discovered.”

“Oh.” Tracy slumped her shoulders.

“It's not your fault, but if you're going to dress like a girl and don't want people to know what lies beneath your clothes, you have to keep that hidden.”

Tracy nodded. There was logic in that statement, no matter how weird it felt that her mother had said it. “Okay Mama.”

There was one more thing on her mind. The talk she had with her daughter a couple days before had raised a question. She had seen something in Tracy's eyes at one point, but she wanted to wait till after the holidays to ask about it. “Tracy, what did you really think about Brooke?” Maggie looked over at her daughter. “When she stripped in front of you, did you enjoy it?”

Tracy looked away and Maggie could see in the reflection of daughters embarrassed facial features. “I...” Tracy was quiet for a moment, then she looked to her mother, then her feet. “I couldn't stop peeking at her. There was just something....I don't know. But I kept looking.”

“It's okay baby.” Maggie said. “There are women who love women, then there are people who love both sexes.”

“Really?” Tracy asked.

“Really.” Maggie nodded. “Did you get excited with her too?”

Tracy kept looking at her feet and blushed again. “Yes.” She replied, in a voice no louder then a whisper.

“Did you do anything with her?” Maggie asked.

“MOOOOOM!” Tracy's head snapped to face her mother. “NO! Nothing happened!”

“Baby, I'm your mother. I don't mean to Pry, but I need to keep you safe.” Maggie stated.

“Nothing happened. She held me, but nothing happened.”

Maggie was silent for a moment as they merged from one highway to another. Then she looked at Tracy for a moment before looking at the road. She had about thirty more minutes before they hit the mall and she wanted to let Tracy relax there.

“Did you want anything to happen?” Maggie finally asked. “I know you said you had thoughts about Peter, have you had them about your other friends?”

“I don't know.” Tracy replied. “I mean I couldn't help but look at Brooke, but I didn't feel anything for Rachel, Sage, Casey or Stacey. And I had the chance with Sage. I was in the bathroom talking to her at Stacey's house while she showered.”

“That could mean a few things, but maybe you're still finding yourself.” Maggie said. “You don't have to push yourself into a relationship.”

“No?” Tracy looked up at her.

“Baby, you're only eleven. Twelve this coming July. There is not rule that you have to be in a committed relationship. So just promise me that you'll take it easy.”

“I will.” Tracy replied.

“And if you ever have questions, be it about your body, sex, or your feelings for people, please, don't hesitate to ask me.”

~o~O~o~

The drive to Sacramento had quickly became an awkward trip. It had even got worse when her mother decided to tell her about the monthly visitor that women get. Tracy had turned many shades of red in the car and was extremely relieved to see the mall parking lot. But Tracy was now safe in the confines of the Mall. Her mother had agreed to end the sex talk as they had entered the mall parking lot, and decided to treat her daughter to a special dinner at local Italian restaurant for being subjected to the talk.

Tracy followed her mother around the mall, enjoying the time alone with her mother, despite how busy the mall seemed to be. They had gone to several clothing stores so far and were on their way out of a shoe store when Maggie went to a bench near the center of the mall. Tracy was hoping to get her mother into the music store so she could buy a few new tapes.

“Let's see. Music store, then what?” Maggie asked. “The jewelry store?”

Tracy looked around. It wasn't a fancy store, like her Dad and Mom would shop at, but one aimed towards girls her age. “Please?”

“We can do that.” Maggie said as she got back up, grabbing her bags.

"Do you still want to hear teh music before I can buy it though?" Tracy asked.

"Well, we did have some of it on while we were driving, right? I mean what are you looking for today?"

"I don't know. Anything that seems cool." Tracy replied with a shrug.

Maggie nodded and recalled her time as a kid and running down to the store to buy Elvis records. "Do the Go-go's have anything new out?"

"No. You got me their newest album for Christmas." Tracy replied. "And the Billy Idol one too."

"What about Country music? Do you still listen to that?"

"Sometimes." Tracy smiled at her. "I liked that Elvira song from last year."

Maggie nodded. "That was pretty catchy." She agreed.

~o~O~o~

Neither Maggie, or her daughter were aware that they were being watched. From across the way, a camera with a telephoto lens was keeping track of the two women, as it had for a little while now. It had been a stroke of luck that he had found them there. He had almost missed them, till he saw Maggie. It wasn't his intention to follow them today. It had been a stroke of luck that he had even seen them there at all. Going to the mall wasn't at the top of his to-do list, but it beat hanging out at his Aunt's house.

He had risked detection a couple of times as he got close. He needed to make sure the girl he saw was who he thought it was. He had also risked losing sight of them when he ran back to his Aunt's house, who lived nearby, to get his Uncle's Single Lens Reflex camera so he could have proof. With proof, it would be hard for anyone to deny it. He went back to the store he had seen then at and found they were gone. The stalker didn't give up. He found them a few minutes later, while hanging out near the stores he had last seen them at.

He had caught the two women coming out of a bathroom, talking about Maggie's son, Vance. He had heard the girl, who Maggie called Tracy, called him brother. The pieces fell into place and their stalker could see a resemblance in the eyes to Troy, plus the slow, pain-filled walk that the girl had cinched the deal. Now Clark just wanted the pictures to prove to the rest of the school that his brother, Bruce, was right. Troy was a dress wearing fag.

The s*** has now hit the fan.

“Yeah. He was in a funk, wasn't he.” William agreed. Vance only nodded. “How are you handling the whole Tracy thing?”

Vance smiled at his dad. “Well, her having cute girlfriends helps.”

William smiled and shook his head. “Figured you’d go with that first.”

“Well, Sage is hot and that Stacey is kinda cute too.”

Thanks once again to Djkauf for the editing

Just another part to Tracy in Sacramento with her Mom and her brother and Father back home.

NOTE: I have raised the rating due to subject nature, but it's not too bad.

December 27th 1982

[Sacramento]

Maggie took Tracy into one last store and they went straight to the women’s section. They had been somewhat good throughout the shopping trip, having just a few bags each, but Maggie had a reason to bring her daughter to one last store. “Baby, there's one last thing we need to get here at the mall, and you get to pick it out.”

“What's that?” Tracy asked. She already had several tapes in her bag, along with some more shoes to go with a skirt she had at home. She had also picked up a few pieces of jewelry, things to go with the necklace she got from Peter. She wasn't aware of anything she had missed.

“A purse. I should have got you one sooner, but I forgot.” Maggie turned to face her daughter. While they had shopped, she had been thinking of ways that Tracy didn't fit the role of a little girl and she came up with the obvious answer. She wasn't a little girl, not on the outside at least. But the longer they had been in the mall, she noticed a trend with teen girls, and it reminded her of when she was younger. After she got her first period, her mother took her down and got her a purse, and Tracy was at that age herself. So to help hide her daughter's abnormality, she was going to give Tracy a well-needed prop. Plus, it would help with all the fun stuff like makeup and other essentials for a teen girl. “A purse is kinda like a rite of passage. I should have gone with you to get one in Livermore, but we were all a bit pressed for time. So we get to do it tonight.”

Tracy's face lit up as they went to the racks that held the different purses. The choices were staggering, and she began to wonder which one was right for her. “Just one?”

“Let's get two. One for that pretty pink dress of yours, so you can complete that outfit, and then a daily use purse.” Maggie suggested.

Neither of them saw the young lady, who was about twenty, come walking over. Her hair was pulled into a long pony tail and she had on the usual forced smile of a minimum wage employee, even though one could tell she was tired, from far too many hours of dealing with sale hounds through the holidays was peeking through. “Can I help you ladies today?” She asked in a forced friendly voice.

“Um, yes.” Maggie said. She decided to play up the age of her daughter. “We're here looking for a purse for my daughter, Tracy. She's reached the age that she kind of needs one now. Can't always be using mine, I won't always be with her when she needs stuff.”

The woman looked at Tracy and her smile seemed to turn more genuine. “Well, my name is Lucy, and I'll be happy to help you. Now, are you looking for any kind of purse? We have small purses, big purses, fancy ones and plain ones, plus we got ones over there that you could hide a seven course meal in.” She pointed to another rack that had large bags, bigger than her backpack she used for school. Tracy giggled at the thought of having a bag that big and she looked at the somewhat normal purses.

“Don't knock 'em. I got a girlfriend who has one and we take it when we go to the movies.” She bent down to whisper into Tracy's ear, but loud enough for Maggie to hear. “Beats paying the high prices for candy at the snack bar.”

“Really?” Tracy asked as she stood up. Then she looked at her mother who had a larger purse that she took to the movies. The more Tracy thought about it, the more she realized that each time she had gone with her mother, Maggie always seemed to have candy with her and she had never bought any at the concession stand.

Maggie nodded, giving her a smile as she patted at her purse. “Tracy, Why do you think I take mine. I always got some sort of snack food in my purse.”

“A purse is your life.” Lucy said. “So let's pick what type of purse you want.”

“We're thinking two purses. One for nice occasions and one for daily use.” Maggie stated.

“Like what type of nice occasions? Weddings and stuff?” Lucy asked.

“I got a pretty pink dress and I want a purse for that.” Tracy said, bouncing in place as she thought about the present her grandparents had given her.

“So a dressy purse? What about black?” She asked as she grabbed at a bag that wasn't too small, nor was it too big. It looked thinner then most bags and very shiny. She handed it to Tracy, who opened it up and looked inside. “It's got space for all the essentials. It is smaller then a few of the others, but this may be a good idea for a nice dress. You don't want to take away from the dress, do you?”

“I guess not.” Tracy replied.

“Do you like this one?” Maggie asked.

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“That's one. What do you want for a daily use one?” Lucy turned back to the rack. “Maybe a bit bigger, so you can put all sorts of stuff in it?”

Tracy shrugged, then in typical kid fashion, she thought about it after the shrug and answered. “Sure.”

“Well, there is this one.” Maggie grabbed another bag, this one a bit bigger then the nice purse and with a longer strap.

“That one would be good for your everyday use.” Lucy said. “I have one of those, but in green.”

“Green?” Tracy perked up a bit. “Do you have blue?”

“Yeah.” She went to the other side of the rack and pulled one off and handed it to Tracy.

“This is so cool.” Tracy ran her fingers over the fabric and smiled at her mother. “Please?”

“That the one you want?”

Tracy nodded, then she saw the price tag. Her smile faded a bit and she looked up. “Wait....” She bit her lip. “Maybe I'll find a different one.”

“Why?” Maggie asked as Tracy went to put the bag back on the other side of the rack.

“It's kinda expensive.” Tracy stated.

Maggie Leaned over and looked at the price. “Baby, don't worry about price. Besides, if you treat them right, your purse can last for a long while.”

“She has a point.” Lucy smiled. “I have one that I got when I was bout eleven. I gave it to a younger cousin of mine.”

“Really? Cool.” Tracy smiled at her.

Maggie was quiet for a moment, thinking about the contents of her own purse, then she looked at Lucy. “Where are the ladies wallets?”

“Over this way.” She led them to a stand that had a large assortment of wallets.

Tracy looked at them, then at her mother. “I can't carry a wallet, I don't wear pants much.”

Maggie smiled, gestured to the wallets and said. “It goes in the purse. I keep mine in there.”

“Why do I need a wallet?” Tracy asked.

“Hold money? Hold ID's.” Maggie said.

Lucy grinned. “Hold the boyfriend’s credit cards, when you're older, of course.”

Maggie chuckled. “That too.” Tracy quickly look at the wallets, then pulled out one she liked. “You good with that?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

Lucy led them over to a free register and she put the bags on the shelf. “Anything else tonight, ladies?”

“No.” Maggie said. “I think we'll hit the rest of the stuff on the way home.”

“Stuff?” Tracy asked. “What stuff?”

“Well, you need things to put in a purse. We'll stop at a drugstore and get the essentials.” Maggie replied.

“Like what? Candy?” Tracy smiled at her.

“Well, not candy. But a lot of women carry pens, brushes, lip balm, lipstick and compacts.” Maggie counted each one on a finger. “Plus the feminine needs too.” She added. Tracy went a shade or two of red and looked at the floor. “Hey kiddo, it's a fact of life.” No point getting all red about it.” Her mother said.

“But what if I don't need it?” Tracy asked in a quiet voice, as she tried to remind her mother that it just wasn't possible.

“Tracy....” Lucy leaned over the counter and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Always carry some. You're friends may need one and be out of their own. Trust me, girlfriends can be such a lifesaver when you need one.”

Tracy looked at her, then at her mother who nodded. “It's true.”

“Tell you what. I know a good place to go to and it's close.” Lucy said.

“Well, we're headed to Mama Moretti's, the little restaurant up the road from here.” Maggie said. “But I don't recall where it was. I was going to ask before we left.”

“I can help with that. On your way out of here, head to the south, that will get you towards Mama Moretti's. You'll pass a drug store about a block from here, Carlson's drugs. It's on the same side of the road as the restaurant and in fact, you'll see the sign from the restaurant from the parking lot of the drug store.” Lucy said. “If a girl with black hair, about my height with the name of Patty is there, have her help you out. That's my sister.”

Maggie smiled at her as Lucy rang up the purses and wallet. “We will. Thank you very much.”

“It's not a problem.”

~o~O~o~

[Oroville]

Vance was in the passenger seat of his father's car as they headed into town. It had been a good day so far. He had managed to help his grandfather with more work on the shed. He had worked up a large thirst and a bigger hunger. So he been surprised to see that his mother and sister had never come home. The typical male side of him began to grumble about food, and who should be cooking, till his father had shown up and offered to take him out to eat.

He had been faced with the biggest of choices of the day. Where to eat. His choices were simple. A buffet, or a place with good steaks. He had to think about it, for several moments. Usually the steak place was never an option. But they also rarely ate out. In the end, the buffet won out, mostly for the large number of choices on desserts. Vance watched the scenery pass by, while the sun was slowly setting in the western sky.

William reached over and tapped his son's shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, just thought you'd want to know, Tracy got some of her restriction lifted, so she may be able to start cooking and cleaning again.”

Vance slowly looked at his father and raised one eyebrow. “How did you know that? Mom and Tracy never came home.”

“Your mother called me. They went to Sacramento after the appointment. Your mother wanted to check out some of the clothes specials.” William replied. “Plus she's going to um...well her and Tracy got to have a little girl talk.”

“Girl talk?” Vance looked at his Dad for a moment.

“Trust me boy, you really don't want to know. Like major girly things.” William stated.

“Okay.” Vance nodded slightly. “But Tracy can take over the cleaning again.”

“Up to a point. She still has a limit, but we can work around that.”

“Darn it.” Vance grumbled.

“Hey kiddo, give it time. If it had happened to you, I doubt you would be wanting to jump up and work.” His father said.

“I guess.”

William was quiet for a moment, then glanced at his son and back to the road. “Son, what are your thoughts about Tracy?”

“It's cool I guess.” Vance replied. “I mean when she's able to cook, she's getting good. Plus Troy was boring. I mean he just got so....” Vance was quiet for a moment, trying to figure out the right word. “Grumpy I guess.”

“Yeah. He was in a funk, wasn't he.” William agreed. Vance only nodded. “How are you handling the whole Tracy thing?”

Vance smiled at his dad. “Well, her having cute girlfriends helps.”

William smiled and shook his head. “Figured you’d go with that first.”

“Well, Sage is hot and that Stacey is kinda cute too.”

“True, but remember, they are your sister’s friends.” William stated. “It's often hard with siblings if they date a friend of the other sibling.”

“How so?” Vance asked.

“Well, say you and one of those girls date, then you have a bad breakup. Well now that girl won't want to come over to the house because you're there. And Tracy may get mad at you if you hurt them.”

“Hadn't thought about that.”

William nodded. “It's hard with siblings involved. Almost as bad as when you have a group of friends and you date one of them. The chance of your group falling about if you break up is really high.”

“Oh. So it's bad to date friends of mine and friends of Tracy's?” Vance asked.

“I'm not saying to not do it, but just know that when it's friends, or Tracy's friends, the stakes are higher. If it falls apart, you can lose several friends in the fallout” William said. “Now, how else do you feel about her?”

“Okay I guess.” Vance replied. “It did seem that she had the easier jobs, till I had to take over for her.”

“Well, you work the fields, twice a week and she's cleaning daily. Sure it may seem like she has it easy, but her life is tough.” William pulled into the restaurant parking lot.

“Yeah. I just don't understand it though.” Vance gave his shoulders a slight shrug and shook his head. “I know I'm a guy and I know I like girls. But I know Troy is a guy, but I can't understand why he'd want to be a girl.”

“Me either, but you can't deny that he's happier.” William shut the car off and looked at his son. “In the end, it's all about her being happy. She's not doing this to confuse us. She's finding herself somewhere under that boy's body.” William opened up his door. “Come on, lets get a bite to eat. Maybe we can get home in time to catch the game. It's Buffalo at Miami.”

~o~O~o~

[Sacramento]

Maggie held the door for her daughter and then followed her inside. She had never heard of the place before. It was a tiny, family owned place, the kind that seemed to thrive on word of mouth. It was listed in dining magazines for the town as a hidden treasure, and Maggie had only heard about it from Shelly. There were only about ten or so tables inside and Tracy was relieved to see that there were a couple of open tables. She was also glad that it wasn't one of the fancy places, where she would to have worn her nicest dress to get in.

A man in a nice dress pants, white shirt and a black tie came walking over. “Good evening, ladies.” He flashed them a huge smile. “Just the two of you tonight?”

“Yes.” Maggie said.

“Right this way.” He turned and led them to an empty booth. He left the menus as they took their seats.

A few moments later, an older woman walked up and smiled at them. “What would you like to drink. We have wines, beer, soda, tea and milk.”

“I'll have milk.” Tracy replied.

“Tea, unsweetened.” Maggie stated.

Tracy waited as the woman walked off and she leaned across the table and whispered. “Mom, why did I have to get that stuff?” She touched her purse. “I can't ever use it.”

“Consider it as precautionary tactic.” Maggie whispered back.

“What do you mean?”

Maggie reached across the table and grabbed Tracy's hand. “Say we get you living as a girl full time. If you’re around girls who don't know, it may seem odd if you miss certain things they have to deal with. So this can help throw anyone off the track that you may not be what you seem.”

“So if they look in my purse....” Tracy started to reply, then her lips pulled back in a smile and she chuckled. “It's going to keep Vance out of it too.”

Maggie nodded slowly. “See, another great reason.” She smiled brightly. “I still recall the first time he got into my purse. Man, he screamed like a baby.”

Tracy snickered. “Yeah. I remember.”

“So, other than the occasional blush, has it been a good day?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded back. “I've had fun. Thanks for bringing me.”

“No problem. Every daughter should go shopping for sales with her mother. It's good practice for when your older and on your own.”

~o~O~o~

The drive back seemed to drag on. They had already stopped for dinner, so all that was left was the trip home. He couldn't wait to get home. He knew what he wanted to do, but it would have to wait till tomorrow. He knew she would be in bed by time he got home. Or at least it would be too late to show up.

Peter wanted to see Tracy, even though he had just seen her a couple of days earlier. But in all fairness, he wanted to spend more time with her than just a few minutes. He had missed her while she had gone to see her new friends. He was a bit jealous of the girls, whom he had never met, all because they seemed to be all Tracy could talk about.

He wondered if she talked about him when she was with the girls. He often told himself that she had bigger things to talk about then just him. A part of him also wondered if he appeared in any of her dreams, like she did for his. No one knew about those. He kept those dreams to himself, and the resulting problems the following mornings.

Peter wanted to tell her how he felt. He wanted to, but he lacked the words to tell her about the floating feeling he felt when she walked into a room. Or the feeling of total happiness when she'd rest her head against his arm as they watched a movie. Then there were her eyes. Green, like a forest. He wanted to spend hours getting lost in her gaze.

But he had screwed it up. At least that's how he felt. The one chance he had to show her how he felt and he screwed it up. He had been there, in her living room and all he did was hug her. He knew he should have kissed her. He had wanted to kiss her, but he held back, mostly because Tracy's mother was in the next room.

He knew if he asked his mother what she'd say. He had made that mistake on the way down there. She had called it puppy love. He was young, he could admit that. Twelve, going on thirteen. He had been held back in school because they thought he was lazy. It had taken a while to find his learning disability. But now he was glad they had held him back for the year. He met Troy that way. With out Troy, he would have never met Tracy. As he thought about her, his heart sped up again.

~Next time.~ He thought to himself. ~Next time I am so kissing her.~

I just had to throw Peter in at the end. Soon the rumor mill will kick into full gear when school starts again. But first, New Years eve!

Both of them looked at Tracy, standing there in her bright pink nightgown, her hair done up in pigtails, as she stood there. When she spoke, her voice trembled. “Please stop fighting.” She pleaded.

“Tracy, we...we are not fighting.” Her mother started to say.

“You were both yelling.” Tracy's eyes filled with tears and it could be heard in her voice when she spoke. “Vance and I both heard you.”

“You're right, we were fighting.” Her father agreed. He gave a big sigh and moved to his youngest, and put an arm around her. “There are times that parents will fight. But that doesn’t mean that we hate you. Or Vance.”

Once again, the big thanks for the editing go to Djkauf

December 27th 1982

Tracy lay in her bed after the stressful but fun day she had. She didn't mind the shopping, in fact she loved it. She could have done without the Doctor's appointment, or even that talk from her mother. But it was bound to happen. Now the stress was coming back. It was bound to happen, too. She could hear her parents, doing the one thing all parents seem to do around the holidays. Argue.

She could hear the sounds of them raising their voices, but she couldn't hear what was being said. Quietly she slipped out of bed, unaware that her brother was also awake. She stood up and he put his legs over the side. He held a finger up to his lips and then hopped down. The two of them moved out of their room and to the kitchen. As they got closer, they could make out what their parents were saying.

William let out an annoyed sigh. “No Maggie, I'm not saying she shouldn't have anything nice, but she just got back from Livermore and the amount of money we're spent on those gifts from Christmas for both of them, plus the therapist, it adds up!”

As their mother spoke, they could hear a hint of anger behind the voice. “William, she needs that therapist! After what she told him in that office, I'd rather have her seeing someone before she kills herself, and if we force her to be Troy, that's what will happen!”

Tracy could feel Vance staring at her now. He had never been informed of the conversation that happened in that office. She had kept him out of the loop, mostly because she wasn't sure what he should know.

They could hear as their father tried to force his voice to be calm. It still came out harsh, but it wasn't a yell. “Maggie, I am not saying she doesn't get to go, I'm just saying we've spent a lot of money the past couple of months. We already got most of the credit cards maxed out. I know it's not all been just due to Tracy. But we have spent a lot of money in the past month or two.”

“Well it would be unfair if Tracy got more then Vance did! And I did my best to make sure I didn't do that!”

“I know.” Their father grumbled.

“And we couldn't help some of those bills!” Maggie angrily stated. “No one knew Tracy would get attacked!”

“I know that, too! Thank god the Military took care of some of the bills that the Medical insurance didn't get.” William agreed, with more bite in his voice then he intended. “But taking her shopping today? How is that fair to Vance? And after the money we spent on her so far? It just seems like a lot.”

“Aren't you planning on taking him camping for a week this summer?” Maggie replied.

“It's not the same!” William snapped back. “We have most of that stuff. But you bought how many new bits of clothing for Tracy? She just got some on Christmas.”

“She bought some of that.” Maggie replied.

“But not all of it. I saw the credit card slips.”

It wasn't the first time she had heard her parents argue about money. She doubted it would be the last. It was about her. That wasn't something new either. Each time her mother spent money on them, her father got angry. Normally, she had nothing she could do. But this time she made a choice.

Tracy went back to her room and fished around in her purse and pulled out the wallet to get at her money. She went back to the kitchen door where Vance was still listening to their parents, then she passed him and went to their bedroom. She knocked on the wall by the door, then stepped through the curtain that served as their door. Her father was near the bathroom door, dressed in flannel pajamas, while her mother sat on the edge of the bed, wearing a long nightgown.

Both of them looked at Tracy, standing there in her bright pink nightgown, her hair done up in pigtails, as she stood there. When she spoke, her voice trembled. “Please stop fighting.” She pleaded.

“Tracy, we...we are not fighting.” Her mother started to say.

“You were both yelling.” Tracy's eyes filled with tears and it could be heard in her voice when she spoke. “Vance and I both heard you.”

“You're right, we were fighting.” Her father agreed. He gave a big sigh and moved to his youngest, and put an arm around her. “There are times that parents will fight. But that doesn’t mean that we hate you. Or Vance.”

As William hugged Tracy, Maggie looked to the curtain that served as their bedroom door. She could hear him sneaking closer to listen better. “Vance, come on in here.”

A few moments passed, then Vance walked in and Maggie got up and hugged him. “We're not mad at either of you.”

“But you were arguing about us.” Vance pointed out.

“We...we were arguing about money.”

“But about it being spent on us.” Vance stated.

“Yes.” William nodded. “We've got a lot of bills and after Christmas, money is tight. We're just a bit shorter then we hoped for.”

“We may have to cut back on meals for a while.” Maggie said.

“We'll stop eating?” Vance asked.

“No. You get a lunch at the school. That's taken care of. But we may be eating Mac and cheese for a while.” Maggie replied. “We do have that meat from Lilly, but there won't be a lot of snack food in the house for a while.”

“Oh.” Vance replied.

“We'll all make sacrifices.” William said.

Tracy held out all the money she had received at Christmas. With her free hand, she took one of her father's hands and turned it over, palm facing up, then she placed her money down. “It's around one hundred and sixty dollars. I kinda spent some of it today.” She looked up him, tears still in her eyes. “I want you guys to have this. It can help buy food.”

William lowered his head and shook it. “Baby.”

“Dad, take it.” Tracy said. “You need it more then me.”

He took the bills and placed them in her hand, then slowly closed her hand around it. “No. This is your money. Money you earned for working so hard. I can't take that away from you.”

“But you need the money?” Tracy raised one eyebrow in confusion.

“We just need to cut back on the spending for a while. But I don't need the money enough to take it from my own children.” William stated. “Besides, you may find something you want when you go to visit that Doctor next time.”

“If it costs so much, maybe I should stop going?”

William let go of her and dropped to one knee, to get a better look at her face. “No. You need to see him. What kind of parent would I be if I forced you to stop doing something that was going to help keep you safe.”

“But it cost money, right?” Tracy asked.

“Yes. But for that, it may be covered by insurance. The gas to get down there is the hard part.” William leaned in and kissed his daughters cheek, then he stood up. “Now you two need to get to bed. I've got work in the morning, so does your mother. I promise we'll talk more about this tomorrow.”

“Yes Dad.” Vance said as he slowly stood up.

“Okay Dad.” Tracy said.

~o~O~o~

December 28th 1982

It looked like it was Troy who left the house that morning. Or at least, for a ways off, it looked like Troy, but it wasn't. Tracy wanted to go for a walk. She needed to stretch her legs and think, but after her attack a month earlier, she wasn't going to tempt fate too much. So she put on a pair of pants. Only a close look at her ankles would have shown a ring of pink flowers, plus one on each butt cheek. She had on her usual female undergarments, plus a blouse, but due to the cold, she wore a thicker coat that covered her top. Her hair was styled so it was gender neutral.

She went to the road in front of their house and began walking down it, traveling at a very sedated pace. After her attack, and the rain, she decided to stay out of the fields. As she passed her Grandparent's place, Vance fell in step next to her.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey.” She replied back.

“Troy, or Tracy?” Vance asked in a whisper.

“Guess.” She looked at him with a wicked smile and he cocked his head to one side, then shrugged.

“Troy?”

“Wrong.” She stopped long enough to lift a leg of her pants up to show him the flowers. “Plus there's cute flowers on the butt, too.” Then she opened up her coat to show the blouse she had on.

“Is that safe?” He asked as they started walking again. “Being out here in the open?”

“Maybe, maybe not. But after being in the mall yesterday, I'm just so tired of being Troy everywhere.” She replied. They stopped at the top of the hill that lay between their Grandparent's place and Lilly Scott's house. Tracy turned around, not feeling up to the extra stress of walking up and down the hill.

Vance stayed with her. He had thought about the topic a few times before, ever since his Grandmother made him wear women's clothes for a while. “Guess I can understand that. I'd hate it if I had to be Vanessa all the time. Hated wearing that stuff. I'm a guy, I know that. And if you say you're a girl and a doctor or two can back you up, who am I to say differently.”

“Was it all bad?” Tracy asked. “Wearing all that stuff, was it all bad.”

“Not some of it. I mean going to the bathroom in a skirt is easy, just lift, adjust and aim.” Vance said with a huge smile.

Tracy stopped and looked at him in shock. “You were supposed to pull the skirt up. Not just lift it enough to pee. What if you would have hit the skirt?”

“Nah, it's too big for that.” He rubbing his knuckles on his shirt in a proud fashion.

“I don't need to hear this.” Tracy stated. “We are so not getting into a discussion of your body.”

“What about Sage's then?” He gave her a huge smile. “How big is her chest?”

“Not listening!!!” Tracy held her hands to her ears and began chanting. “LALALALALALA.”

Vance waited a few moments, till she stopped, then he looked at her and all the humor seemed to wash away from his face. “Hey, is it true what Mom said last night? About you saying you were going to kill yourself?”

“Kinda.” Tracy replied. They slowed the pace up as they passed their house and she put her hands in her pockets. “The more I can be myself, be Tracy, the more it hurts me to be Troy.” She looked over at him for a moment, then down the road. “And if I had to go back to being Troy, full time, I'd rather be dead. I hate who I am when I'm Troy.”

“I thought you said you did this to relax. To act as though there was no Dad, or me.” Vance stated.

“At first, I thought that was true. But the more I can be myself, the more I realize that I was hiding from myself. I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” Vance asked.

“Life.” She simply replied. One glance at her brother told her she had to expand on the reason. “I was afraid of losing the love of my family. Before Mom and Grandma found me, I hid it from them because I thought no one would understand. I used being Tracy to unwind. At first Tracy was a single girl, with a working mother. Once Grandma found me, I kept it up. But then Tracy was that chance to get away from you still and from Dad.”

Tracy stopped and turned to face her brother. “See, I knew you wouldn't take it well, and you proved that. But then you pulled your head out of your ass and look what that got you?”

“A sister who has cute friends?” He smiled at her.

“That too.” Tracy nodded. “But you got a sibling who is more sure of herself. See, when Dad found out, I was ecstatic that I could be Tracy at home full time. It was then that I realized that Tracy was a bit more than just a release.”

“I don't....I'm lost.” Vance admitted.

“I was hiding the true part of myself. I hid Tracy. At first from Everyone, then just you, Dad and Grandpa. But mostly I hid her from myself. Now I am who I should have been, with a few minor problems.”

“Like the boy bits?” Vance asked.

“That's part of it. No boobs either.” Tracy nodded at him. They turned around and began walking to the house. “I mean I still got to be Troy for school. And that sucks.”

“Yeah. I saw how you were at Christmas. It was nothing like that morning.” Vance said.

“Part of that was because I knew we'd have to deal with Johnny and Alex. And I was set to help you do the dishes.”

Vance chuckled. “Man, I about shit myself when Amber said they had to do it.”

“Oh, I know. If I had known, I would have been using a new cup each time I got something to drink.” Tracy smiled at him.

“Would have served them right.”

“After last year? Yes it would have.” Tracy agreed. “But each time they called me a girl, you know how much it hurt to not agree with them. To not just go home and put on my nicest skirt and show off my legs?”

“I can imagine. I mean if I had been in those clothes Grandma made me wear, I would have given anything to be able to say 'I'm a boy!'”

Tracy smiled brightly and pointed a finger at him. “You get it. You understand. I was that girl, hiding in boy's clothes and I was too scared to say, even to myself, 'I am woman, hear me roar.'” She turned her attention back to the road as they walked. “Now I just wait for the time where I can be Tracy full time.”

They walked towards their house. “You know, this all causes one major problem.” Vance stated.

“What's that?” Tracy asked.

“Well, according to the TV and movies, now that you're my little sister, don't I have to kick the ass of any guy who talks to you?”

“Well you can try.” Tracy replied. “But not Peter.”

“Okay. But if he kisses you, then I have to.” Vance stated.

“Why?”

Vance leaned over and hugged her. “It's in the big brother handbook. Section seven, dating and siblings.”

She leaned into the hug and let him hold her. “Thank you, Vance.” She said.

~o~O~o~

December 29th 1982

Tracy woke up in the guest bedroom of her grandparent's house, wearing one of her favorite nightgowns. She stretched and swung her feet off the bed. She had decided to stay at her Grandparent's house so she could help clean. She was slowly getting back into her cleaning chores at both houses. She still moved slowly, but not as slow as she was a month ago.

She took care of the call of nature and made her way to the kitchen, where she found both her grandparents sitting at the table, each with a part of the local newspaper. Her grandfather had the sports section, while Modine worked on the Crossword puzzle. Tracy stopped at the table long enough to give both of them a kiss and hug, then she went to the stove to prepare breakfast.

Modine looked over, glad that her granddaughter was getting back to what she loved to do. “You need a hand, sweetie?”

“No, I got this.” Tracy said with a smile. “I think I'll work on the kitchen and dining room after this, if it's okay.”

“Oh, it's okay, just don't over-do anything.” Her Grandmother said. “I know it was hard, the whole bed rest thing, but please, take your time.”

“I'm okay, Grandma.” Tracy replied. “Besides, I need to move and get my muscles back into working shape.”

“I understand, but realize that you are not our slave.” Modine said.

“I know. I like to do this.” Tracy answered her and she opened up the 'fridge to grab the eggs. “It's this or hang out with Vance. This wins hands down.”

“Hey now, he's gotten better.” Her Grandmother replied. “I watched the two of you walking and talking the other day. I haven't seen you two like that in years.”

“She's got a point.” Her Grandfather spoke up. “He's been getting better when we work too.”

“Okay, he's not that bad, but when all he does is ask about Sage, it's getting old.”

“Ah, the joys of siblings.” Conner said with a grin.

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Tracy grumbled.

~o~O~o~

December 31st 1982/January 1st 1983

The night was going great so far. Tracy's favorite group had been on the TV a bit earlier, and she was waiting for them to make their second appearance. The evening had been a good one. Both of her parents were home. She had already got the calls from her friends about the Go-go's being on a New Year's show. She was tired, but she had to watch.

Her brother was glued to the TV, watching one of the many rock bands. Her parent's were in the kitchen, taking in hushed tones. She knew they weren't fighting, mostly from the girlish giggle that came from her mother. Tracy was on the couch, with Peter by her side. She had managed to convince him to stay at the house for the night. But with two boys in the house, she had to convince her parents that she'd be in a different room, so when everyone went to bed, the couch was to be her bed again, with Peter taking over her's for a night.

She had sat close to him all night, only getting up to dance to the bands she really liked, despite the warnings from her parents to take it easy. But as the countdown started on the TV from forty, her parents came back in standing by the fireplace. She felt Peter lean close and she leaned against him. The ball kept dropping till it got close.

“Ten!”

Their attention was no longer on the screen. Peter took Tracy's hand in his as they sat on the couch. They could hear the people on the screen counting down to the new year. Peter's heart was beating like a drum. He was so close and he knew that if he were to do what he wanted, this was going to be his one chance.

“Nine!”

“Eight!”

“Seven!”

“Six!”

Behind them, Maggie and William had already stood up and embraced each other. This was a tradition of theirs. Maggie believed that a kiss as the clock stuck the new year helped to strengthen a relationship. As the clock wound down, they kissed and held it.

“Five!”

“Four!”

“Three!”

Peter placed a hand on her cheek and she turned her head to face him. He leaned in close to her. He couldn't help but smile at how happy she had been.

“Two!”

He leaned closer, determined to not shut his eyes. He could see the reflection of the TV in her eyes. He could smell the shampoo that she used and the cherry lip balm she loved to use. One arm went behind her back and he pulled her closer.

“One!”

His lips were less then an inch from hers. Her eyes began to shut as he gently pressed his lips to hers. The people on the TV screamed out “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” And it was followed by cheering, but the two kids were lost in their first kiss.

It was awkward, mostly because neither of them had any experience kissing. But something about his touch made Tracy relax, and tense up in some parts of her body at the same time. She opened her eyes to see him, then saw that both her parents were watching them. Her Mother gave her a smile, but her Father looked unhappy. Tracy broke off the kiss, then turned to fully hug Peter.

He leaned into the hug and whispered gently in her ear. “Happy New Year, Tracy.”

Tune in next time to the start of book 3: Through the years Two against the world. It picks up where this one leave off and answered those tough questions.