1982
Northern California

Troy Patterson stood in the kitchen and watched as his mother's car pull out of the driveway that early August morning. His father was already gone off on a week long fishing trip with his friends. His older brother, and constant tormentor, Vance, was with his mother to go to hang out with friends for the weekend. In the background he could hear the beginnings of another cartoon. Yet, unlike most eleven year old, he wasn't paying attention to the TV anymore. He had been waiting patiently for the house to empty....well maybe not too patiently.

He was barely able to keep still as his mother and brother were getting ready to go. Now that she was gone, he waited that extra couple of seconds before he darted into his mothers room. His heart raced in anticipation as he opened up his mothers closet. There it was, a treasure trove of clothes. Skirts, dresses, blouses. He didn't know where to start, so he ran his fingers over the fabric, feeling tingles of excitement race down his spine.

He pulled out one that had become his favorite, an navy blue skirt. He grabbed for the matching blouse and then began to strip out of his shorts and shirt. He didn't change his underwear. He had no sisters to borrow from and he was smaller then his mother. Plus he knew his mother kept the drawers to her dresser in a way that she knew when anything was moved.

He pulled on the skirt but it hung around his hips, so as usual he cheated by using a belt to keep it on. As he drew the belt tight, his now free hand ran up the frilly blouse. He couldn't help doing this. Every chance he had he found himself in his mothers room and it always ended with him in her clothes. One he had pulled the blouse on, he ran his fingers through his short curly hair, fluffing it out. He looked at the makeup that his mother kept on her night stand. He knew it was foolish to even try. Once he had used the lipstick and somehow, just by where he left it, she knew. As he moved in front of the mirror, he kept fluffing his hair, taking stock of the boy, who which fluff of his hair, slowly became an eleven year old girl.

Troy wasn't the tallest kid in his class. In fact he was just about average all around. He was around four and a half feet tall, and almost ninety pounds, being slightly overweight. His father made sure that his hair was kept short, which was a blessing of sorts, as Tory's hair was naturally curly, so the more he teased it, the more it curled. When he was done he gave the mirror a shy smile and turned slightly to the side, looking at the profile of the cute girl he saw there.

He was so drawn into his own little world that he hadn't heard the door open. It was only when the TV shut off that he knew he was in trouble. The house his parents lived in was small, with just two bedrooms and a single bath. It had been a farmhouse built around the end of the first World War. The layout was a simple one, almost a square , with a wall in the center. From the main and only door, you stepped into the living room. To the right was the kitchen. A left turn from there took you to the hall that had the room that he shared with Vance. Past that was a bathroom. But straight from the front door to the house was his parent's room. His parents had no door to their room, just curtains that hung there. A door on one wall of the main bedroom led to the shared bathroom.

There was only one choice on who had come home. His mother hadn't been gone long enough and his father was gone, this left his Paternal Grandfather who lived next door with his grandmother. He was the one family member the young boy hated with a passion. The roots of his self esteem problems could be traced to the older man, who had often informed the boy he was only born to give free labor on the farm. He knew he would be caught if he stayed where he was, so in a fit of desperation he grabbed his clothes from the bed and ran into the bathroom. He knew if he could change before he was caught, he was home free.

As he pushed the door that led to the hall open he saw his grandmother, wearing a house coat, leaning on a cane and watching him. She raised an eyebrow and just watched him. She wasn't too old, just around sixty, but osteoporosis had made it hard for her to get around. She rarely left the house, other then to go see her doctors. But despite this weakness, she was the true voice of the family. If she spoke, it happened. No one, not even her own almost forty year old son would dare cross her. But she was also a typical grandmother and her love for her grandchildren showed often. He dropped his clothes and flung himself into his room and on his bed.

Troy curled up in a ball and began to sob into his pillow. It was all over, he knew it. She'd tell his mother, who would tell his father. Then Vance and his grandfather would hear. It was only a matter of time. He could hear the sounds of something being drug down the hall, then into his room. The sounds continued, muffled by the carpet, till it stopped by his bed. He didn't move, till a hand touched his shoulder and he flinched.

“It's okay, Troy. I'm not mad at you.” The older woman's voice was soothing. She rubbed his shoulder , trying to comfort him as best as she could. “Come on and sit up, I'd like to talk to you.”

He stay still, his heart pounding away in his chest. He knew it was pointless, but he still didn't want her to see him like this. He summoned up his courage, hoping he could discourage her and send her away. “No. I don't want to and you can't make me.”

She let out a sigh and shook her head, then let go of his shoulder and sat up. “Troy, Allen Patterson, I asked you kindly. Do not make me tell you. You know what happens when I get mad, please, don't push me.”

He had flinched from the use of all three names, but for her to threaten that she'd get mad. He had no choice. So he rolled over and sat up, but kept his eyes on the floor of his bedroom.”

“There, that's much better.” She said and flashed him that Grandmotherly smile that had always relaxed him. “I've had my suspicions for a while, you mom has too. That's why she sent me over here.”

He looked up, but only briefly. “Mom sent you? She knows about...” He trialed off and looked at the floor again. “About me wearing her clothes?”

“Yes, She's been noticing that each time she's left you home, her closet gets rearranged.” His grandmother replied. She leaned forward and wiped the tears out of his eyes. “But she's not mad, neither am I.”

“Are you going to tell Vance and Dad and Grandpa?” He asked.

“No child. I'm not that mean.” She gave a little laugh, the kind that all grandmothers had. “I just want to know a few things. We used to talk all the time, but lately, you hide away from the world. I'm scared for you. So can we talk?”

He thought about it for a while. She was right, they used to talk all the time when he'd visit for a couple hours each day, but that had changed a couple years back, when he had first put on a skirt. He missed his grandmothers talk, so he nodded and whispered. “Yes.”

“Well I guess my first question is do you want to be a girl?” She asked.

He shook his head and kept watching that one spot on the floor. “No. I like being a boy, I just....” He sighed and looked up. “Promise you're not mad and won't yell?”

His grandmother nodded. “I promise.”

He waited for a second, then continued. “I like being a boy, I just like wearing girls clothes too. It's...” He began to cry again, this time she was ready and offered him a tissue. His gaze fell back to the floor once more.

“Take your time.” She said, waiting for him to calm down.

Troy sighed again and shook his head. “It's...when I wear this, I pretend that I'm not Troy. I act like there''s no Vance, no Dad. No one yelling at me because I cry too much. No one yelling at me because I can't catch a baseball. No boy's beating me up.....” He began sobbing again.

From the living room the door opened up and his mothers voice called out. “Troy, Sweetie?”

“He's in his room, Maggie.” Troy's Grandma called out.

The little boy was still on the bed, bent over a bit more as his sobs increased. Maggie stopped at the door way for a moment. “Modine, is he okay?” Maggie asked.

“He could really use his mother right now.” Modine replied.

Maggie sat on the bed next to him and hugged the little boy tightly to her side, While Modine went over the conversation so far. When she was finished Maggie kissed Troy's forehead. “Sweetie, I am sorry about Vance, and God knows your father tries, he really does. He's just set in his ways.” She kissed him once more. “I'm afraid that you may get caught by your brother one of these times.”

Modine nodded. “Knowing Vance he's take total advance of it.” She leaned back in her seat, then smiled. “Troy, how often do you like wearing the girls clothes? About once a week?”

Troy nodded and looked at her. “Usually when Mom is shopping and Vance and Dad are gone.”

“I see.....” She began to rub her chin while she thought for a moment, then her smile showed as she leaned forward, looking at the child on the bed. “What if I let you come over to my place and dress up once a month. Your Grandfather takes a trip to Reno for gambling once a month. He's gone for most of the day, so you could stay there till he comes home if you want.”

Troy smiled. “I'd like that.” Then his smile faded. “Wait, just once a month?”

“For now. Maybe we can work out a new place to go after awhile. This way you can relax and Vance won't be allowed over.” Modine put a hand on his shoulder. “So what do you think?”

He smiled again. “I'd love to.”

September 1982
Northern California

A grueling four weeks of hell had passed for little Troy. Vance had gotten worse, picking on his brother every chance he got, and as always, Troy's dad just ignored it. But Troy had that beacon of hope. He just had to make it to the week end to be able to unwind at his Grandmothers place. And he had

To keep her own clothes in good shape, his mother had gone to the local store and picked up girls clothes, including panties and a bra for the boy, this way she could keep her own clothes in her closet. The clothes were then stashed inside one of the closets that his grandmother had in her room. He hadn't seen then yet, just a brief description from his mother.

To save time and questions from Vance, he spent Friday night at his grandmothers, using her guest bed. He was forced to wear his boy pajamas, mostly because his Grandfather hadn't left for his trip yet. But when he awoke on Saturday he found a nightgown laid out on the bed, with a note attached to it.

Sweetie,

If you want to lounge around the house today, wear this, if not there is a cute summer
dress hanging in the closet. Panties and a bra on the dresser you you. Let me know when
you're awake and I'll start breakfast.

Grandma Modine

He looked at the nightgown. It was a nice powder blue color, with a cartoon cat on the front. He saw the yellow summer dress hanging in the closet and he began to weigh his options. A quick glance to the clock showed that it was just a little past seven. A part of him had been bummed out that he couldn't wear the night gown the night before, so he decided to wear that then shower after breakfast and then put on the dress.

In a matter of minutes he had shed his pajamas and was still pulling the blue nightgown over the white panties as he came around the corner into the kitchen. He saw her at the table drinking a cup of coffee and attempting to finish the crossword puzzle. Troy waited for her to pull the pencil away from the paper before he walked over and hugged her. “Morning Grandma.”

“Hello Sweetie.” She said, putting her pencil down long enough to hug the young child and give him a kiss on the forehead. “I see you picked the nightgown.”

“Well I figured I could wear this, then after breakfast I could shower and wear the dress.” He replied.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Modine said with a nod. “You know, the first thing we should do is get you a name.” She pulled out a chair at the table and patted the seat.

He took the hint and sat down. “I got a name.” He replied.

“But Troy is a boy's name.” She replied. “We need a girls name for you.”

He sat there for a little while, thinking about all the girls he knew and all of their names, wondering which one he liked the best. After a few minutes he looked up and smiled. “What about Tracy?”

“I like that.” His grandmother said with a nod. She stood up and moved to the refrigerator. “Come on Tracy, let's make breakfast. You can help me.”

“Okay.” His smile brightened as he stood up, and his body language shifted slightly. His shoulders weren't slumped like his boy self had done. The smile was there after it had formed. And as his grandmother turned on the radio, he began to sway his hips to the music. Tracy was in the house.

The radio was set to an oldies channel, not that it mattered much. The main music the station played was only from thirty years earlier. She tired to hum along with some of the music as her grandmother did the singing. Neither Tracy, or Troy, had ever done any cooking, So Modine took the time to teach her grandchild the basics of making eggs and bacon.

It was an easy meal, but for her first time cooking, she didn't want to push it. So the two of them work at a pace that little Tracy could handle. At first the eggs were to be sunny side up, but a few mishaps turned them into scrambled. Through it all the little girl never lost her smile.

“Very good. I guess we should have started with scrambled anyway, then work up to the hard stuff.” Her Grandmother said. Tracy just nodded and poked at the eggs with the spatula again. “Yeah. I've wanted to learn how to cook, 'cause Mom is working all the time and then she get's home and has to make dinner, it's just so unfair to her.”

“Well tell you what. You can't just jump in the kitchen and think you know what to do. How about every weekend, plus Monday and Friday nights, you and I go over the basics of cooking and then in a month or two we can see if your mother will let you slowly take over, okay?” Her Grandmother asked.

“That sound good.” Tracy replied with a nod.

“Good. How about we invite your mother over for lunch? We can make something nice for her. Maybe a nice pasta salad?” Modine asked her granddaughter as she began to butter toast.

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded again, while lifting the pan off the stove and putting the eggs on two plate.

Modine put her knife down and grabbed the nearby phone and dialed. Tracy could hardly keep from dancing around as she put the plates on the table and set about pouring juice for them.

“Maggie? Yes, it's Modine.” Tracy didn't feel bad as she listening in. Normally she liked to leave the room when people were on the phone, but this time it was about her. “No, no she's been a totally angel today. Yes, She. Tracy? Your daughter?” Tracy's face lit up with another smile as she watched her grandmother for a moment, then she returned to putting the juice back in the fridge. “We were wondering if you would like to join us for a light lunch. Just the three of us, so you can meet Tracy properly.”

The little girl took her seat at the table and she waited for her Grandmother before she touched her plate. Modine kept nodding while she was on the phone. Yes, so Noon? Okay, we'll be ready for you.”

Her grandmother hung up the phone and she sat down next to Tracy. “Well young lady, let's see how your first attempt went.”

Tracy watched her grandmother as the older woman took a bite. “Not bad, take a bite.” Tracy took a bite and chewed it, then looked up as she saw her grandmother looking at her. “Well, what do you think?”

“It's okay. But it's....kind of blah.” Tracy said.

“What do you think is missing?” Modine asked.

“I don't know?” Tracy shrugged.

“Tell me, did you use any spices?”

Tracy slumped her shoulders and put her fork down. “No.” She grumbled. “I messed it up.”

“Hey.” Modine put a hand on her shoulder. “No one gets it right their first time. Each time you cook, you have that possibility of making mistakes. But that's how some of the better recipes come to be, all because of one little goof. You like my meatloaf, right?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“I tried to prefect that for years, but one day I made a mistake and added a different spice. It used to be dry and nasty, but now, I don't worry about leftovers. All cooking is half experimentation.” Modine smiled. “You understand what I'm saying?”

“I think so.” Tracy replied.

“Let me put a different way.” Modine leaned back in the chair for a moment, then nodded to herself. “Do you remember the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?”

“Yes, I love that movie.” Tracy smiled.

“Remember the song with all the old people? Roses of success?” Modine asked.

“Yeah, the one where they try to build another car?”

“That's the one. The main point of that song is that in failure, you have success.” Modine replied, watching her grandchild’s face. “If you learn from your mistakes, you learn to correct them next time.” She let that sink in for a moment, then leaned forward, her eyes twinkling. “So, what did we learn?”

“Ummmmm.” Tracy thought about it for a moment, then she pointed to the spice rack. “Use spices?”

“That is one lesson you could get today. Lesson two is that if you're in doubt on what you're cooking, ask someone.” Modine said. “See, eggs are easy. Just get up and get the salt and pepper shakers and we can add till were happy. But next time, you wont forget the spices.”

“Okay.” Tracy got up and grabbed the two thin shakers from the resting place on the stove. As she sat down, her grandmother gave her a hug. “What was that for?

“That was for proving you're willing to learn and not just get frustrated and walk away from something.” Modine waited as the little girl used the salt, then handed it to her. “It's easy to give up, but somethings are worth seeing through to the end. Like cooking. You know why cooking is so important?”

“Um...” Tracy looked at her grandmother like she was crazy. “We'd starve if we didn't cook?”

“That's one aspect of food. Another aspect is that it brings people together.” Modine smiled again.

“How?” Tracy handed her the pepper shaker.

“We're both at the table right now, aren't we?” The older woman asked in a sage like voice.

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded.

“Now if I had just let you have cereal, do you think we would have taken the time to talk while making the breakfast?”

“No.”

Modine nodded. “See. Food can comfort, heal, relax and so much more.” She leaned in close to Tracy. “What is your favorite part of cookies, other then the eating?”

“The smell?” Tracy asked.

“And when you smell cookies being baked, what do you think of?”

“That one Christmas when I had pneumonia and you brought some cookies to me.” Tracy smiled.

“Your first thought when you smell apple pie?” Modine asked.

“Thanksgiving. Dad always insists on Apple pie. And everyone is always here.” Tracy replied.

“So you equate food to memories too. See how much food can mean to people? So each time you cook, you could be making a memory for someone.”

“I never thought of it like that.” Tracy said with a grin.

“Well, looks like you got something new to think about.”

“Yep.” Tracy nodded.

“Come on, let's eat, there's more time to talk after we do dishes.” Modine said.

The two of them ate in semi silence, giving Tracy the chance to think about what she had learned about food and life. The little girl stayed quiet as she started to put the dishes into the sink. Modine picked up her paper and began working on the crossword puzzle again.

“Now what I told you about making mistakes, that's not just for food. Take that karate class you're taking. You have to practice, right?”

Tracy looked to her grandmother and nodded. “Yeah.”

“And some of the stuff you couldn't do when you started the class, you can do now, right?” Modine sat her pencil down for a second. “Like balance? You seemed to fall on your butt a lot, but you're better now, right?”

“Yep.” Tracy smiled at that. She had been training as hard as she could. Her father had pushed for both of his sons to take a class on some kind of fighting skill. His brother had gone with boxing, like Troy's father had taken when he was a kid. Troy had gone a different route. He had watched the different martial artists and liked what he saw in Kung Fu. So after may weeks of looking for something he could enjoy, he found it in a class one town away, Chen Style of Tai chi.

His father wasn't impressed. There was almost no contact in it, no like in boxing, but he still let the boy stay with it. Less then six months later, Vance had enough of people actually hitting him and he dropped out of the boxing classes that he was taking, but his tough guy attitude stayed around. That was the one saving grace to it all. His father had thanked him for sticking with it. And it was helping him out too.

“So, if you make a mistake in class, do you give up?” She asked.

“No.” Tracy shook her head.

“And why not?” Modine gave her that big smile again.

“Because I'd never learn? How can I get good if I stop. Plus I like it.” She smiled.

“Then baby, if you like it, that's all that matters.” Modine chuckled. “You should get cleaned up young lady. Got to look your best for your mother today.”

Tracy's cheeks turned a bright red color as she stepped from the sink, stopping by her grandmother long enough to hug the older lady. “Thank you Grandma, for everything.”

“You're welcome.” Modine said, putting a hand on the girls back. “You're very welcome.”

A smile spread across her lips as she stepped in. “Hello Tracy.” She stopped just in front of the girl and hugged her. “You look beautiful.” She whispered into Tracy's ear.

The girl's face was bright with pride and her smile spread from ear to ear. “Thank you Mama.”

“And so polite too. How did I get so lucky to have a beautiful girl with manners?” She asked, looking over to her mother-in-law.

“Don't ask me. Maybe she's been in there all this time, she just needed the chance to come out.” Modine said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a loaf of freshly made bread. She waited for Tracy to turn back to her and she cut a slice off of the loaf. She then offered the knife to her. “Here you go young lady. Five more slices, just like the one I did.”

September 1982
Northern California

It was nearing lunch time and Tracy was starting to get nervous. She had been hanging out with her grandmother all day so far and things were just fine. She had watched some TV and even tired her hand at painting, one of the few hobbies that her grandmother really enjoyed. Tracy wasn't too good at it, but she had enjoyed trying. In the end, what should have been a picture of trees, looked like a bunch of brown and green caterpillars. They had laughed about it, and for once, Tracy didn't dwell on how bad she was. They had stopped just briefly to make the pasta salad. Tracy did the work, with her grandmother watching over her shoulder, ready to help out when needed. It needed two hours of cooling time in the refrigerator. So after that they returned to their easels and continued on their different pictures. Well, one picture and one grouping of brightly colored shapes.

Now the art supplies were gone for the day and they had retreated to the kitchen once more. “So what else are we making?” Tracy asked.

“Well I figured we could make some grilled chicken salad sandwiches. They should go well with the pasta salad.”

“Okay, how do we do make that?” Tracy asked.

“Good question.” Modine pulled a box out of the cupboard and flipped it open and began looking through index cards. “With this.” She handed Tracy the card and let the child read. “You'll find everything you need in the fridge, or in the spices cupboard. Think you can manage?”

Tracy nodded. “Yeah.” She began pulling the ingredients from the 'fridge, stopping to read the index card each time. She worked at the counter, her grandmother stepping in to show her the best way to use the knives when needed. As Tracy was almost finished there was a knock at the door and her grandmother went to answer it. “Straighten that dress young lady, and clean your hands.” she said on her way out of the kitchen.

Tracy could hear her mother at the door as she washed her hands, it was one thing she had always loved. Her ears were good, so even from her place in the kitchen she could hear her her mother and grandmother exchanging pleasantries, then she heard. “Come on Maggie, I'll introduce you to your daughter.”

Tracy quickly dried off her hands and stood there as the two women came into the kitchen. Her heart was racing, hoping that her mother was totally okay with what she was doing. She stood there as her mother looked her over, then Tracy said in a quiet voice, speaking slightly higher then Troy would. She lowered her head a bit, but kept her eyes on her mom. “Hello Mama.” Troy had never called her that. In fact his greetings would have been just a simple mom and always hi, never hello. And Maggie caught it too.

A smile spread across her lips as she stepped in. “Hello Tracy.” She stopped just in front of the girl and hugged her. “You look beautiful.” She whispered into Tracy's ear.

The girl's face was bright with pride and her smile spread from ear to ear. “Thank you Mama.”

“And so polite too. How did I get so lucky to have a beautiful girl with manners?” She asked, looking over to her mother-in-law.

“Don't ask me. Maybe she's been in there all this time, she just needed the chance to come out.” Modine said as she went to the cupboard and pulled out a loaf of freshly made bread. She waited for Tracy to turn back to her and she cut a slice off of the loaf. She then offered the knife to her. “Here you go young lady. Five more slices, just like the one I did.”

Maggie watched her daughter cut the bread. It wasn't perfect, in fact a couple of the slices were quite thick, the other three were a mix of half think and very thin. As Tracy finished the cutting, her grandmother handed her the bowl with the chicken salad in it.

“What would you say to eating outside on the back porch?” Modine asked.

Tracy's head whipped to her grandmother, her eyes were wide with panic, but her mother cut her off as she saw the child’s face. “I don't mind, but we should ask the young lady.”

Modine turned around and smiled at Tracy. “Well, would you like to enjoy some mild summer weather from the porch?”

“But...but...” Tracy's heart began to race and her hands started to shake. “What if someone sees me.”

Her mother dropped to one knee and shook her head. “Sweetheart, no one can see you back there. No one goes in the ravine and those that do wont see you through trees that line the backyard. No one can see the porch from the road, but if you're that scared, we can stay in here.”

“We can?” Tracy asked, feeling a bit better.

“We can. We want you to be comfortable with yourself. We know you're safe back there, but you need to feel it too.” Maggie replied.

“Tracy, I understand your fear, but know that I will never ask you to do something that will get you hurt, or compromise your secret.” Her grandmother said in that comforting tone all grandmothers have.

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then she looked outside. It wasn't too warm and there was a breeze out. She had never been invited to sit with her grandmother when she was Troy, not on the back porch but then her grandmother had so many bad days with her osteoporosis. The back porch was her grandmothers sanctuary. Even Her grandfather stayed off of it, unless he was going to the grill that was in the back yard, or fixing something on it.

Tracy spread some of the chicken salad onto a slice of bread and she meekly asked. “No one will see us?”

“Not at all. No one comes into the back yard, ever.” Modine replied.

“I....I think I want to sit out there.” Tracy looked at her grandmother and mom. “If it's okay.”

“Sweetheart, it's definitely okay.” The older woman answered with that grandmotherly smile.

Tracy put down the knife and moved to hug her grandmother, then her mom. “Thank you.”

Modine gave her another hug and kissed her cheek. “You're welcome. Now we should finish this and get it out to the table, don't you think?”

“Okay.” Tracy seemed to pick up her speed while fixing the sandwiches, while her mother helped her grandmother take the paste salad outside, along with plates, forks, glasses and a pitcher of tea. A few minutes later Tracy was walking onto the back porch, a plate with the sandwiches on it in her hands.

She sat the plate on the table and was about to sit when her mother stopped her. “Wait, you can't just sit down. As you sit, smooth out the bottom of your dress, so it isn't ruffled under you. And remember, a lady sits with her legs together.” Tracy nodded and did as she was told, automatically crossing her legs just above the ankles.

Maggie beamed at her. “Very good sweetheart.”

“Thank you Mama.” Tracy said as she watched her grandmother putting some of the pasta salad on her plate. Then her mother dished some out. She sat there, watching as her mother took a bite, then nodded. “Wow. This is good, Modine.”

“Thank you, but I didn't make it.” Modine gestured with a sweep of her hand at Tracy.

“You made this?” Maggie asked.

“Yes, Mama. I made the chicken stuff for the sandwiches too.” The girl smiled brightly.

“Really? I didn't know you could cook.” Tracy’s mother held that surprised look on her face as she looked at her child again.

“Grandma Modine helped me, we made eggs, but I forgot the salt and pepper.” Tracy's smiled faded a bit. “But she told me I need to learn from the mistakes.”

“And I meant that.” Modine said with a nod.

“So why did you want to cook?” Maggie asked her daughter.

“Because, if I learn how, on the days you work late, I can have dinner ready when you get home.” Tracy said, hoping she wasn't crossing the line in what was acceptable. “Could I?”

Maggie put her fork down and tapped her fingers of one hand on the table. “You'd be willing to help with the cooking, even though Vance would most likely tease you?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

“Would it be Tracy, or Troy cooking?” Maggie asked. “Because if Vance saw you like that, then we'd have problems.”

“I'd be Troy.” And with that her shoulders began to slump.

“Sorry baby, but you know he'd spread it around school if he saw you like this. I can only protect you so much.”

“I know Mama.” Tracy's head lowered and she put her hands in her lap.

“No, none of that now.” Modine looked across the table. Tracy's head rose slightly. “You were in a happy mood earlier. I don't want you to lose that now. First we'll work on you getting to be a good cook, then we'll expand to cooking on your own. And as for Vance, we'll just play it safe. Clothes don't make the cook.”

Tracy nodded and her mother put a hand on her shoulder. “I would love for you to help, but before I let you loose on your own, we'll work together a few times, okay?”

“Okay.” Tracy said with a nod.

Modine smiled as the life seemed to return to the little girl. “I meant what I said too. You come over, Friday through Monday and I'll show you a few pointers, okay?”

Tracy's smile returned and she nodded again. “Yes, Grandma. I'd like that.”

“Good. Now lets enjoy this wonderful lunch you made us.” Grandma Modine said as she picked out one of the sandwiches.

“Joy.” Troy's sarcastic tone wasn't lost on Peter. Together the two boys walked up to the line, waiting to get on to the ride home. Peter moved off and got on his bus, leaving Troy alone with his jerk brother. Steps away from the bus, Troy felt someone shove his side and he fell to the ground.

“Ooooohhhh.” A tall, thin boy sneered down at him. “Did the wittle baby fall?”

Troy scrambled to his feet and glared at his attacker. “Go to hell Vance.” He spat out.

His brother stood half a foot taller, which gave him the ability to loom over the smaller Patterson boy. Vance's arm cocked back as though he were going to throw a punch, making Troy bring up his arms to block. “Fag.” His brother laughed at him before getting on the bus. At the top of the steps he stopped and looked at his brother who was just watching him. “Come on little baby. Maybe we should get you home and change your diapers!” The kids on the bus started to laugh loudly.

October 1st 1982
Northern California

It was yet another day of school. One good thing was that is was Friday. Another good thing for Troy was that his brother, Vance, was in the middle school, so he didn't have to worry about him making his school life a living hell anymore, well for at least a year when he went into middle school. He wasn't free of his brother yet, not by a long shot. Both the Elementary and middle schools were at the same place, just in different parts of the school.

So he didn't have to be next to his bother in classes, but Vance could still find him before and after school, as they had different times for lunch and recess. Troy had to ride the bus with his brother and that was a living hell too. Only two miles from the school to their house, but their mother always made them take the bus.

Troy's mind wasn't on his classes though. He paid attention, as best as he could. He did the class work, but he just wanted, needed to get home so Tracy could come out. That wasn't the only problem. His grandfather would be home this weekend, so that killed any chance of him being able to relax as his alter-ego. As the last bell rang, he stepped out in the usual mass exodus and made his way to the bus stop.

A boy about his age fell in step next to him. The boy was a bit bigger, both in height and in weight. He wore an Dukes of Hazzard shirt and had a dark blue pack over his shoulders. “Hey Peter.” Troy smiled at his friend. The two of them had gone through school together since the second grade. Now three years later, they had grown to be like brothers. But this had been the first year when they weren't in the same class.

“Hey Troy, doing anything today?” The bigger kid asked.

“Going home and hiding from Vance. He's been a jerk lately.” Troy replied.

“I don't see why you just don't stand up to him. He's not that much stronger then you. You got that kung fu stuff you know and he couldn't even box.” Peter asked as they stood off to the side and waited for the buses.

“It's Dad. Vance can hit me and if I say anything, I get in trouble for tattling.” Troy shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “Yet if I hit him back, Vance runs off and tells Dad and I get in trouble, but he doesn't. It sucks. If I wanted to hurt Vance, I could, but I wont. I just want him to leave me alone. We used to get along, but I don't know why he hates me now.” Troy sat on the ground near a wall.

“So Vance can do what he wants and you can't? That sucks.” Peter sat next to him.

“Wanna come hang out at my place? Maybe you can avoid your brother till your parents are home?” Peter suggested.

Troy shook his head. “No, I'll get in trouble if I don't ask and Mom is busy and can't take personal calls at work and Dad doesn't have a phone that he can use.” A bell rang on the middle school let out, more kids began to pile up around the bus stop area.

“Oh. Sorry.” Peter said, sighing as he did.

“It's okay.” Troy shrugged and lowered his head.

“May be I could come over?” Peter asked.

“No without asking first. You know how my parents are.”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, I know.” Several long buses pulled up and Peter looked up. “Hey, our rides are here.”

“Joy.” Troy's sarcastic tone wasn't lost on Peter. Together the two boys walked up to the line, waiting to get on to the ride home. Peter moved off and got on his bus, leaving Troy alone with his jerk brother. Steps away from the bus, Troy felt someone shove his side and he fell to the ground.

“Ooooohhhh.” A tall, thin boy sneered down at him. “Did the wittle baby fall?”

Troy scrambled to his feet and glared at his attacker. “Go to hell Vance.” He spat out.

His brother stood half a foot taller, which gave him the ability to loom over the smaller Patterson boy. Vance's arm cocked back as though he were going to throw a punch, making Troy bring up his arms to block. “Fag.” His brother laughed at him before getting on the bus. At the top of the steps he stopped and looked at his brother who was just watching him. “Come on little baby. Maybe we should get you home and change your diapers!” The kids on the bus started to laugh loudly.

Troy could barely hear the bus driver trying to get the kids to settle down, but he didn't care. He turned from the bus stop and began to walk to the other end of the school.

“Awww the Baby's gonna cry!” He heard his brother call out.

But Troy didn't care. He stormed passed the other kids who were now laughing at him. He pushed past a few teachers too. He didn't know where he was going, he just needed to get away from all of the kids at the bus stop. He went out to the playground and made his way to an empty swing set. He could see the kids on his bus still watching him, Vance was in the back, but he didn't care what he was doing.

He got to thinking about life as he sat there. What did he want when he was Tracy. Did he want to keep her around? He was happy being a boy, except dealing with his brother, father and Grandfather. But would they accept him as Tracy? But then he wasn't wanting to make Tracy full time, then Troy's problems would be Tracy's.

He got up after a few minutes and began to walk home. He walked at a decent pace, thinking over why Vance could hate him so much. He couldn't come up with any good answers, so he thought of other things, like cooking and what skirt he'd wear the next time Tracy came out.

The closer to the house he got, the sadder he became. Soon he'd be in Vance's clutches again, subject to his every whim and no doubt Vance would tell on him for missing the bus. He knew there would be hell to pay for walking. But he couldn't get on the bus after what Vance had done.

He just wanted to be a normal boy, was that so wrong? Did he have to have a sibling who enjoyed making his life a living hell. Or a father that wouldn't listen. He turned onto the road he lived on and was passed by his school bus, making him think there would be no problems. So as he reached the field by his parent's house he jumped the fence, hoping to come up from behind, in case Vance was out there.

He stopped by the old barn that lay near the house and sure enough, he could see Vance in the front yard, throwing rocks at something. Two of his friends from school were with him With his hearing as good as it was, he could hear everything the three boys was saying from his hiding spot.

“That little shit is gonna get me in trouble.” Vance turned to face a smaller friend.

“It's his own fault that he walked away from the bus.” The friend said.

“Yeah. I didn't make the little fag leave. But I'll be the one in trouble.” His brother flung another rock, hitting the wall of the house with a loud bang. “So gonna kick his ass.”

Troy heard enough and with tears in his eyes he skirted around the property. He felt tired from the stress of the day and he just wanted to lay down and cry, but if he went in the house, Vance and his friends would follow. So he went to his grandmothers place and knocked on the front door, but no one answered. He peeked through a window and saw no lights, no TV and no motion, then he remembered that Fridays was his grandmothers usual day for Doctors appointments.

He hopped off the porch in time to hear another rock hit the side of his parents house. He knew going home was stupid, so he went around to the backyard of his grandmothers place. There he saw it, he porch. He'd be safe back here, he knew it. And his grandfather had just put up a porch swing and that looked comforting.

He stepped up on the porch and the sights and smells of his lunch date with his mother came back, making him smile for a moment, then the sound of a rock breaking a window jarred him from his memories. He could hear his brothers friends panic then he heard footsteps running away. Troy put his backpack on the swing, then laid his head down on it and closed his eyes for a moment.

------------------------------
[The home of Maggie and William Patterson]

It was almost seven when Maggie came home slightly before her husband and stepped into the house. She gave a look around the room. Usually her sons were watching TV, but neither of them were there. Then her gaze fell on the window of the couch. The very broken window. “VANCE!!!” She screamed out. Not just because he was always the trouble maker, but because when they were home alone, he was to be in charge.

Her eldest son stepped into the living room and looked at his mother with a very guilty look on his face. “What happened to the window?!? He flinched at the tone of her voice and his head dropped a bit.

“Frankie threw a rock and broke it.” He said, referring to his smaller friend.

“Is that so?” Maggie glared at her son and he just stood there. She went over to the phone and began to dial Frankie's parent's house. “We'll see about that.”

The color drained from his face as she began to speak. He could only hear a part of the conversation, but he knew he was dead meat. “Carol? This is Maggie Patterson. I was wondering if I could have a word with your son.” He took a seat as he listened to his mother talk to Frankie's mother, then to Frankie. When she hung up she took a deep breath before slamming the phone down.

“Okay, one more time. Tell me who broke my window Vance.” Maggie said, not turning to look at him. He knew it was only going to get worse if he didn't confess. Before he could reply, his mother cut him off. “Or do I need to call Bruce and make sure it wasn't him first?”

He looked at his feet for a moment as the door opened up and his father walked in. “Hey Son, honey.” He pulled Maggie in for a kiss, then he realized that She was pissed. “What's wrong sweetheart?”

Maggie pointed to the missing window and then at her son. “Someone broke the window and he already claimed that Frankie broke it, but Frankie said it was Vance.”

William, Troy's father, seemed to grow an inch as his anger rose. “Why the hell did you bust a window!” he yelled at his eldest child.

If it was one thing he was good at, it was lying. At least he thought he was good, but his mother could always see through it. He did his best sad child face and looked to his dad, tears in his eyes. “Well I came home, but Troy had missed the bus and I knew I'd get in trouble for it so I was mad and I threw a rock, but it slipped and the window broke and I came in and cleaned it up, then he never came home yet...”

“WAIT!” Maggie yelled over his rambling and the boy stopped. “Where is Troy?!? My god, school got out four hours ago!”

Vance stood up and puffed out his chest, sure that he wasn't in trouble anymore and his brother was doomed. “I don't know. He was in line for the bus, but then he left.”

“HE LEFT?!? WHERE IS MY SON!!!” Maggie loomed over Vance and he flinched again and sat down in his seat.

“Calm down Maggie. Maybe he's at his friends place.” William said.

She looked from her husband to her eldest son. “For your sake, he better be at Peters.” She went back to the phone and dialed.

While she talked in the background, William stood over his son. As was his normal with Vance, he played the role of good cop. “Being worried about your brother is one thing, but those windows are expensive.”

“I know dad, I didn't mean to break it.” Vance kept up the crocodile tears. “I just didn't know what to do and I got worried.”

“I understand son. Just be careful next time.” William said.

Before Vance could reply, Maggie's voice rang out. “HE DID WHAT!?!”

Maggie turned and glared at her eldest son and pointed out one finger, telling him to stay where he was. William stood there, now deeply confused. They stayed where they were as Maggie held a quick conversation, then hung the phone up.

She took a breath or two to compose herself then she stood by her husbands side. “That was Peter I just spoke too. Last he saw of your brother, you had shoved him to the ground and were teasing him in front of all the kids at the bus stop. Say's he watched Troy walk off, but didn't see where he went to. But he's not there.” She stepped closer and got in his face. “If anything happened to him, I will take it out of your hide.”

“I'll should go looking for him.” William said.

“I'll go with you Dad.” Vance said, hoping to be spared from his mothers wrath.

“Oh no. You stay here and man the phone, in case someone calls. Peter's mother is going to look for him too.” Maggie replied, putting a hand up to stop her son. “You sit. No TV till we're home, then we discuss your punishment.”

“Yes Mom.” He said, lowering his head again.

“I'll call Mom, maybe she's seen him.” William said, picking up the phone. “It rang a few times, then he heard his mothers voice. “Hello, Mom? It's William. Have you seen Troy?”

“Troy? No, he hasn't stopped by tonight and we were supposed to be cooking together. I just figured that you guys needed him over there.” The older woman replied. “Is something wrong?”

“From what Maggie learned, I guess Vance said something to him and he walked off from the school, no one's seen him since the school.” He looked up to see Maggie giving him the look.

“Connor.” He heard his mother talking to his Dad. “Maggie and William need some help. Troy ran off from school and no one has seen him yet. Yeah, he got out at three.” There was a pause, then muffled talking, then Modine spoke again. “Son, You're dad's going to take the back roads, you take the main ones and meet at the school, then call here, okay?”

“Okay Mom.” William said. “We'll call when we get there. There's still that pay phone at the school.”

-------------------------------------------
[Modine's house]

“Good luck Son.” She said into the phone. As she hung up she began to worry that she may never see her grandchild again, either side of him. She watched as her husband went out the door and from next door she could hear her Son's car start up. The two vehicles sped off towards the small town were the school was at.

She went into the kitchen and stopped by the window and said a little prayer. “God, please let no harm come to Troy. Let him come home safe and sound, please? I know I'm not the best Christian, but Troy hasn't hurt no one, don't let anyone harm him.”

She stood there for a moment, taking a few deep breaths, when she swore she heard something. She leaned closer to the window and listened harder. She could barely make out the sounds of someone snoring. She headed to the backdoor. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but maybe, just maybe.....

She stepped out onto the porch and saw the young boy on her porch swing, his back to her and still sleeping. She walked over to him and shook his shoulder. “Troy? Come on Troy, baby, wake up.”

He stirred for a moment, then turned his head to see her. “Grandma?” He blinked his eyes a couple of times and sat up.

She leaned over and hugged him tightly. “Oh I'm so glad your okay.” She held him like that for a moment or two, then she let him go. “We need to get by the phone.” She said as she turned to the door.

“Why? What's wrong?” He asked.

“Your parents are out looking for you. It's past seven in the evening and their worried.” She held the door open for him. “Come on, we'll get some food in you first, before they get here and you can tell me what happened.”

He followed her inside and began to tell her what happened as quickly as he could. He made sure to tell her that there was no problems on his walk home, only at the school and when he saw Vance. Then he began telling her about how Vance could hit him, but he can't fight back.

“I know sweetie. I've seen it and you're father is just too blinded by Vance and his lying to see the truth.” She pulled out some bread and peanut butter and began to make him a sandwich when the phone rang.

Modine put the knife she was using down and picked up the phone. “Hello, this is Modine Patterson.”

“Mom, we're at the school Dad didn't see anything either. Have you heard anything?” William asked, worry filling his voice.

“I found him on my back porch, passed out on the swing. I'm feeding him now and finding out from him what happened, so come on back and Send your father home too, have him pick up some ice cream too, we're out of the good stuff.” Modine said.

She heard her son's voice, as he tried to muffle it. It was no longer filled with worry, but anger. “He's been on Mom's back porch all this time.”

Modine hung up the phone, and called Vance to let him know what was going on. She then finished Troy's sandwich. The boy at in silence, till he stopped halfway though the sandwich and he looked at her. “I'm in trouble, aren't I?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Not as much as Vance will be.”

This is actually a two parter, I just wanted to split it up so it wasn't a monster to read. This is the first showing of Vance, William and Connor. And yes, Vance is pulled almost directly from my own brother.

“Oh God baby, why didn't you let anyone know you were home. You got us all worried.” Maggie said, kissing his cheek.

“I was sleeping.” He said meekly.

“Where the HELL have you been!” William screamed as he got just outside of the kitchen.

Modine stood up slowly and blocked his way into the kitchen. “Now I know your hearing is still good. I told you where he has been. Asleep on my porch swing. So don't you dare yell at him for that.”

“Mom, let me handle this.” He snarled at her

“You can handle it, but you wont yell in my house, not till I'm dead and gone, understand me?” Troy's grandmother was shorter then his father, but she didn't bat an eye as she stood there. “Now he was on the property, but he couldn't really tell anyone he was here if he was sleeping, now can he.”

October 1st 1982
Northern California
:Continued:

Modine hung up the phone, and called Vance to let him know what was going on. She then finished Troy's sandwich. The boy at in silence, till he stopped halfway though the sandwich and he looked at her. “I'm in trouble, aren't I?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged. “Not as much as Vance will be.”

“Why, because of the window?” Troy asked.

“That and for running you off from the bus.” Modine replied.

“But Dad will take his side, he always takes his side.” Troy's shoulders slumped as he put the half eaten sandwich on a paper plate.

“I know.” She replied. “But trust me, he's got another thing coming. You're not facing him alone this time.”

A few minutes later the door opened up and Troy's mother raced in, rushing to his side to hold him tightly. He heard his father coming in and he began to shake.

“Oh God baby, why didn't you let anyone know you were home. You got us all worried.” Maggie said, kissing his cheek.

“I was sleeping.” He said meekly.

“Where the HELL have you been!” William screamed as he got just outside of the kitchen.

Modine stood up slowly and blocked his way into the kitchen. “Now I know your hearing is still good. I told you where he has been. Asleep on my porch swing. So don't you dare yell at him for that.”

“Mom, let me handle this.” He snarled at her

“You can handle it, but you wont yell in my house, not till I'm dead and gone, understand me?” Troy's grandmother was shorter then his father, but she didn't bat an eye as she stood there. “Now he was on the property, but he couldn't really tell anyone he was here if he was sleeping, now can he.”

“Mom, that's not the point. He walked away from the bus stop. We had no idea where he was at.” William replied, his voice losing his anger.

“True, that was bad. But according to him he got to the edge of the farm as the bus was heading the other way.” Modine replied. She turned to the boy who was finishing his food and looked to his mother. “Did you need to call anyone else?”

“Yeah, I need to call Peter's parents.” Maggie said. “But the number is at the house.”

“Well finish that food boy. I was going to send you to bed without dinner, but I can't do that anymore.” William said, shaking his head and glaring at his mother.

“And are you going to send Vance to bed without food?” Modine asked.

“Well it would be unfair now, wouldn't it?” William asked.

“Would it? He did attack Troy at the bus stop, taunted him till he left. Can you blame your son for not wanting to be around someone who is teasing him or beating him up? And when he came home, did Vance have his friends with him? I know you two have a thing about unsupervised kids on the property. Troy watched them, all three of them. Did he not break a window?” Modine put her hands on her hips and glared back at her son. “So far all Troy is in trouble for, in my eyes, is the fact he walked home and I can't blame him for that and for falling asleep.”

She glanced down at Troy and smiled. “Don't go to bed tonight, you may get in trouble.”

The boy failed to suppress a snicker, but William didn't hear it. “Mom, we didn't want them walking till he was old enough. What if something happened?”

She kept her attention on her grandchild. “Tell me Sweetie, when you go to your friends house, do you walk or ride a bike?” She asked.

“Sometimes, if Mom and Dad can't take me.” He said with a nod.

“Good, and doesn't he live in the other direction, past the school?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. About a couple miles past.” Troy replied, his mind working to see where she was headed.

She turned to face her son again. “So it's okay for him to ride his bike to a friends house which is past the school, but he can't walk home from school, and that's a shorter distance?”

“Well...I...” William closed his mouth for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“You're right Modine.” Maggie said, standing up and looking at her husband and his mother. “It is a shorter distance. Plus he is a bit more grown up then his brother.”

“More grown up? What about all the times that he punches Vance?” William looked to Maggie, then at his Son.

“Really? Are you that stupid?!?” Modine spat out, causing him to whip his head back and look at her. “I've watched what happens. Vance punches him and runs off. If Troy says anything, you yell at Troy for tattling. You've told him to act like a man. To not let it happen, yet when he defends himself, he gets in trouble. You know your eldest likes to punch him in the kidneys? Whats the most Troy has done? A few throws? I think that kidney damage is a bit worse then a throw to the ground.”

The old woman stood her ground and glared at her son as he just watched her. “You let Vance run wild because of him playing in sports, but Troy is on a tight leash.”

“She's right.” Maggie walked over and stood next to her mother-in-law. “You do treat Vance differently then Troy. I've never said anything till now, but I should have.” She looked over her shoulder to her youngest Son. “I'm sorry baby.”

“It's okay Mom.” Troy said, keeping his attention on what was left of his sandwich.

“Have you even tired to talk to your son? To find a middle ground? Something the two of you can do together?” Maggie asked. “Or, because he isn't into sports, you just gave up on him, hoping he'll become a man on his own?”

“I....” He thought about it for awhile. He tired to think of the last time he had done anything with just Troy. All his free time was with Vance.

“Now I'm not saying we're too tough on Troy, god knows I let him get away with stuff, but between the two of them, he's doing better in school. His friends are nicer then Vance's.” Maggie put a hand on her husbands shoulder. “I'm easier on Troy and give him stuff because he helps around the house, always has. Vance? We have to threaten just to get him to do the dishes.”

William remained quiet, but slowly nodded as he realized she was right. “William, you want Troy to grow up, but you baby Vance. You turn a blind eye to his little stunts. Between the two of them, Vance should be the good one. The one setting the example.”

“Yeah.” He said with a sigh.

“Look, I'm not saying he shouldn't be in trouble for not telling people that he was going to walk home, but I can't blame him for why he walked. If someone was pushing me and teasing me, I'd leave too.” Maggie looked at her husband. “And I've watched you do the same, so don't blame him for that.”

“Tell you what. Go get Vance, come over and Tory and I can warm up some left-overs.” Modine said, moving to the refrigerator. “Let's get a little food in us and maybe we'll all calm down. Then I can suggest some punishments for both boys, okay?”

“Okay Mom.” William knew it was pointless to argue with his mother. So he headed for the door.

Connor came into the kitchen with a paper grocery bag in hand. He began pulling out cartons of ice cream and setting them in the freezer. “Everything okay here?”

“For now Dear.” Modine said, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for going to look for him.”

His grandfather looked at him and nodded his head. “Just glad he's safe.” It was one of the few times that Connor had treated him nicely and he liked it.

“Me too.” Modine said, then she tapped Troy's chair. “Come on young man, we got leftovers to heat up.” Maggie started to move to the stove and Modine held a hand up. “Consider this a start to his punishment.”

“Okay.” Maggie said with a smile.

Troy got up and with his grandmothers instruction, he began heating up the food, except for the pasta salad that he had made the weekend before. A few moments later William came back in, with his eldest in tow. Vance held his head down, trying to not make eye contact with his mother.

Troy began placing food on the table and Modine grabbed the plates. “Help yourselves.” She told them. As the family slowly reached for the food, she took a seat and began. “I try to stay out of your business, normally. But today I had to step in and for good reasons.” She said to her son. “I am sorry, it's not that I don't think you can't raise your sons, but sometimes you need an outside perspective. So I'd like to offer a thought on punishments, if you'd consider them.”

Both Vance and Troy looked at their plates. William didn't reply, but Maggie nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Well, first I want to hear Vance's side of the story. Then I'll tell you what I came up with.” She looked at the elder child in the room. “So, young man, tell me what happened, from the end of school to now.”

“Well.” He began, trying for his most pathetic look he could muster.

Modine just fixed him with that gaze that all mothers and grandmothers get. The one that says. “I don't believe your going to try and lie to me.”

He slumped in his seat and began his tale. “Well, I was walking to the bus and I tripped, accidentally pushing Troy to the ground. Then he didn't get on the bus...and then OW.” The screamed out seconds after a slap hit him in the back of the head. Maggie glared at him.

She held one finger in his face. “We've got two people who say you pushed him to the ground and then teased him. Stop lying.”

He nodded slowly and then started again. “Okay, I kind teased him a little and he walked off. It wasn't bad at all.”

“Oh, calling him a baby and saying he needs diapers in front of his friends and classmates wasn't bad?” Maggie turned her chair towards her son.

“Maggie, it's okay, I know when he's lying to me.” Modine said, causing Vance to look at her, his jaw dropping open. “Please continue.”

“Okay.” He said. “Well we got home and he wasn't there so I knew I'd get in trouble and I was trowing rocks and one accidentally hit the window.”

“And you blamed someone else for that.” Maggie reminded him.

“Yeah, I blamed Frankie.” He said, looking at his hands.

“Some friend you are.” She said with a disapproving shake of her head. “Is that all?”

“Well I was worried about Troy.” He looked up, trying for the innocent look, and failed miserably.

“Worried about him, or worried that you were going to get in trouble because of what you did?” Modine let the statement hang, then she called out to her husband “Connor, can you come in here?”

A few seconds later Connor walked into the room and leaned against the door frame. Modine looked from him to her son. “We try to stay out of your business and when it comes to punishment for the kids, but I have a few ideas, Connor has been busy in his shed and then there's work in the field.”

She looked at Vance, he kept his gaze on his lap. “Vance, you have a big problem with your lying. Plus you're a bully to your brother. Yet when he defends himself, you go crying to your dad, not really fair is it.” When the older boy looked up in surprise, she nodded. “Yes, I've seen you do it.”

Troy began to smile till she looked at him. “You shouldn't go wandering off without telling people where you are. Plus, you know to be the bigger person and to walk away from a fight, but I can't yell at you for defending yourself, anyone would do that.”

She looked back to her own son. “So here is my idea. More chores for both of them.” To her side, both boys groaned. “For Vance, since he is the stronger of the two, I think him working in the field and around the house would be a good thing. Put that destructive side to him to work in a good way. There's lawn work. The leaves will start to fall soon. He can mow the lawns, weed the gardens and flower bed, rake the leaves. He can help Connor clean the garage. The olives will be ripe soon too, so he can help there as well.”

Vance looked up. They had always helped with the olives, but their grandfather had paid them for it, giving them money to spend on Christmas gifts. “Will I still get paid for what I pick?” He asked.

“I don't see why not.” She replied.

“What about me? Can I still pick the olives too?” Troy asked. He didn't like the work, but the money they got paid was always good.

“I'm not sure. It depends on if you have free time.” She turned to face Troy. “For you I suggest something a bit different. You helped me in here today and last weekend, so for you I want help in cleaning my house once a month. Plus, if your mother agrees, I think you should take over a bigger role in the house. Cleaning a room of the house once a week, but not their bedroom.” Vance began to smile at him, till his grandmother continued. “But you'll have help in your room. It would be unfair to clean your room all alone if someone else is making it dirty all the time.” Troy smiled at his brother.

“I also want to teach you how to cook. I've talked to your mother many times and when she comes home from work she doesn't want to cook. So you and I and you and your mother will be teaching you how to cook.” She looked at Maggie and raised an eyebrow. “That seem fair to you?”

Maggie nodded, but kept the smile from her lips. They had already agreed on that job, but it worked. Now Vance couldn't claim favoritism. “Works for me. I hate eating so close to bed time anyway.”

“But the dishes can be done by both of them. If you're home and Troy doesn't cook, then he can do them, but if you work, it's Vance's job. So do both punishments seem fair? I feel it's better to make them do something productive, rather then tan their hides and send them off to bed with no food. That only breeds anger and resentment.”

William nodded slowly, then looked at his mother. “Okay, I'll agree with it. More then what I was going to do.” His gaze fell to his boys. “But you're both grounded for two weeks as well.”

“Both of them?” Maggie turned to face her husband. “We discussed why Troy left.”

“Trying to be fair.” He said, to which his wife just glared at him. “Fine, you're right. Vance, you're grounded for two weeks. Troy, one week. And before we go home, you two can clean up this mess.”

“Unless Troy cooked, which he did.” Modine replied.

“It's fine Grandma. I can dry the dishes.” Troy replied. “I'm not above doing my part.”

Here's part 2. This is not the end of Vance's attitude, but only the beginning. I know the Grandma coming to his defense with a plan they already had seems hokey, but hey, it worked for me as a kid.

He slipped into the nightgown and slowly Tracy began to be emerge. When she was fully there, she went into the kitchen where her grandmother was waiting, already working on her crossword. Tracy stopped by her grandmother long enough to give her a light kiss on the cheek. “Morning Grandma.” She said as she moved to the cupboard that held the skillets.

“Good morning to you too, young lady.” Modine replied, not looking up from her paper. “You need help?”

“Maybe.” Tracy replied as she pulled out a skillet. “But can I try it on my own first?”

“Sure thing sweetie. You just let me know when you need help.”

October 9th 1982
Northern California

Troy woke up early that Saturday morning in the guest room of his Grandparents house. His Grandfather was gone, not on a monthly trip to Reno, but to visit a sister of his out of town and again he had come over on Friday night to spend the night. Like the last time he woke up to find a nightgown on the end of the bed. But this time the note was a bit different.

Tracy

You may wear this if you want, but with your brother being over here to work in the field, I'll leave that decision to you. Some of your boy clothes are in the dresser, or if you want there is a skirt in the closet with a nice matching shirt. I'll do my best to keep Vance out of the house. Your mother is home, so he'll have lunch there.

Love Grandma Modine

It was the second week of their new chores. He wasn't totally cooking on his own yet, but his role at his house had changed. He had set up a schedule. The living room on Monday, the kitchen on Wednesday and their room on Thursday. Then he'd come over and on Friday evening he had to clean the guest room of his grandma's place and the bathroom. Saturday was the dining room and kitchen and Sunday the living room. At first he thought that it was going to be impossible, cleaning the same room each week, then he grandma and mother told him the secret. If it was cleaned weekly, the job would get easier.

At first, like all children, he didn't believe them. But the night before, they were proven right. Cleaning the guest room had gone so fast that they had moved to cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. It was true that his grandmother kept a cleaner house, but he was hopeful that he'd be able to get his parents place into shape like that.

He slipped into the nightgown and slowly Tracy began to be emerge. When she was fully there, she went into the kitchen where her grandmother was waiting, already working on her crossword. Tracy stopped by her grandmother long enough to give her a light kiss on the cheek. “Morning Grandma.” She said as she moved to the cupboard that held the skillets.

“Good morning to you too, young lady.” Modine replied, not looking up from her paper. “You need help?”

“Maybe.” Tracy replied as she pulled out a skillet. “But can I try it on my own first?”

“Sure thing sweetie. You just let me know when you need help.”

“Okay Grandma.” Tracy began moving around the kitchen, grabbing the eggs and bacon from the fridge and bread from the cupboard. “Hey, Grandma? Was I wrong? For walking home last week?”

Modine put her pencil down and turned her chair to face her grandchild. “Yes and No. You weren't wrong for walking away from your brother, but you were wrong for leaving without telling people you'd walk home. Other then that, I don't think you're wrong. That's why I helped you out.”

“Oh.” Tracy replied.

“But it's not going to be a cake walk for you either. I just figured keeping you two apart was the best bet. So cleaning is the best bet for you.”

“But Vance thinks I got off easy.” She replied.

“Yes, because he can't admit he was wrong.” Her grandmother got up and want to her side. “Tracy, its not your fault. You are not to blame for his actions, nor can he be blamed for yours.”

“I guess.” Tracy gave a shrug as she began frying up bacon.

“I know you wont believe me now, but Tracy, you can't control your brother. You can only control yourself.” Modine put her hand on her shoulder.

“He....” Tracy shook her head and put the spatula down. “He just makes me mad.”

“That's the problems with siblings.” Modine said. “They often just make you mad.”

“Can't I just get a dog instead?” Tracy gave a short laugh.

“I’m afraid that's just not going to happen.” Modine shook her head and put two slices of bread into the toaster.

Tracy began to think about the day she walked home and what was going through her mind. “Grandma, should I stop being Tracy?”

“Do you want to stop?” Modine asked.

“Well...not really I guess.” Tracy replied. “But with Vance over here working, what if he sees me?”

“Well that's a chance you'll have to take, but we can work on making sure he doesn't see you.”

“If he sees me, I am so screwed.” Tracy put her hands on a counter and leaned forward, drooping her head. “He'll tell all the kids in the school.”

“So do you want to stop it then? Do you want Tracy to go away?” Modine asked. She moved the pan from the burner, then pulled her grandchild in for a hug.

Tracy melted into her arms. “What do you think?”

Modine shook her head. “That choice isn't mine. Sweetie, only you can determine if you no longer want to be Tracy. But either way, Tracy or Troy, I love you the same.”

Tracy hugged her grandma tighter. “Maybe I should though. Unless Vance is out of town.”

“Whichever you wish to do.” Modine kissed Tracy's forehead. “Come on now, lets finish breakfast, I'm starving.”

"I love being Tracy, but I was thinking that maybe it's for the best that I just leave Tracy behind." The girl said.

“Like I said sweetie, whatever you want, I will support you.” The toast popped up and Modine began to butter it. “Would you stick with the cooking? Your punishment did including cooking and cleaning. You still good with that?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I like the cooking. I don't mind the cleaning.”

Modine nodded. “Everyone should clean. It's not just a woman's job.”

“Neither is cooking, right?” Tracy asked.

“There are many good male chefs.” Modine said. “So what will you do with Tracy's clothes?”

“I don't know. Goodwill maybe?” Tracy replied with a shrug.

“Maybe we can hold on to them. Just in case you want to come back.”

“Maybe, Grandma.” Tracy nodded. “Maybe I'll be back.”

I know it's a bit short, but I felt a little more time between Tracy/Troy and Modine was needed. The storms are coming, not everything can be sunshine and roses.

Peter could feel that they were uncomfortable, so he began to go to the side of the house, turning his head to talk to them once more as he went. “Well ladies, have a nice.....” His steps stopped and he turned to look at Tracy again. He stood there for a moment, then asked. “Troy? Is that you?”

The young boy didn't reply. Instead, the young girl who was there knew she was caught, so she jumped from the table and flung the backdoor opened, running to the safety of the guest bedroom. Peter stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. Modine and Maggie both stood up, the older woman patting Troy's mother on the arm. “I got her.”

October 31 1982
Northern California

Over three weeks had passed since his last outing as Tracy. He had followed though with the idea to just let Tracy go. The risks were too great and with Vance working at his Grandfathers house, he was bound to be caught. So he had puttered through life as it were, slowly becoming that depressed child that he had been. He quickly felt the need for the release that being Tracy gave him. It wasn't perverse, but it was an escape. One that he was needing badly.

Now it was Halloween and Troy was at a loss as what to do. Well it was the day before. With Halloween being Sunday, most of the parties were set on Saturday. His chores had all been done on Thursday and Friday so he could relax for the weekend. He had been offered the chance to go with Peter to a cousins party. All the costume thoughts that he came up with were for girls. He had ruled out being cheerleaders and princesses. It wasn't that he didn't want to do it, but he didn't want others to see him in a dress. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to go to the party at all.

He had been lucky enough to be able to spend the weekend at his Grandmothers. His Grandfather was out of town for the weekend with his father, both headed to Las Vegas for the weekend, planning to return on Monday. Vance was off to his friends for the weekend, planning to return on Sunday after the Trick-or-treating. So it had hurt to not be Tracy for the weekend. He so wanted that release that she could give him.

His mother had come over just past nine in the morning, after she had dropped off Vance. Once again he had the fun of hanging out with his mother and grandmother on his own. But the closer it got to get ready for the party, he began to think about what he wanted to do.

It was almost three o'clock when he called up Peter. He sat there, feeling guilty about not going to the party, but then, Peter was the only person he would know there. “Hey Peter?” Troy said as his friend picked up the phone.

“Hey Troy. You ready to come over now?” Peter's voice was bright and chipper over the phone and Troy began to feel guilty for what he was about to do.

He let out a low sigh and shook his head, even though his friend couldn't see the action. “No. I'm just not feeling up to it tonight.”

“You sick?” Peter asked.

Troy began to feel worse for letting his friend down. “Kinda...well not really, I feel fine, I just don't know anyone that will be there. I just...” He let out another sigh. “Look, I just don't feel like being around strangers right now.”

“But I'll be here.” Peter reminded him.

“I know, but things have been rough the past few days. I just want to relax and with a group of people I don't know....” Troy let the statement hang for a moment.

“I understand. It sucks, but I understand.” He could hear the disappointment in Peter's voice. “Maybe we can go out tomorrow and get some candy?”

“Maybe.” Troy replied.

“Cool. Well I think I'll get going.” Peter said. “Feel better man.”

“I will.” Troy said before he hung up. As he walked back into the kitchen he felt worse. He had never let Peter down before, but now he had. He felt like a jerk. He was the one person his friend would know there and no he blew him off. He walked out of the kitchen and headed for the guest bedroom.

He flopped down on the bed, laying on his side and facing the wall. He began to think about every thing from the past few day. Between Vance and him getting in trouble that one day, to his decision to leave Tracy behind, his life was turning into a giant pile of suck.

A few minutes later, Modine came into the room. “Hey kiddo. You ready to make dinner?”

He shook his head. “I'm not really hungry.” He replied.

“You okay?” She came into the room and stopped by the bed and put her hand on his forehead.

“I'm fine. I'm just thinking about stuff.” He said to the wall.

“Like Tracy?” She asked.

“Yeah. Grandma, I just don't know what to do.” He said. “Part of me wanted to stop so Vance wouldn't find me, but I miss being her.”

“This is going to be something you have to solve for yourself. But either way, your mother and I love you.” Modine said as she bent down and kissed his forehead. “Tell you what, I'll start dinner. You relax, okay. If you need to think, then think. We'll tell you when the food is ready.”

“Okay Grandma.” He replied. He heard her leave the room, then a few minutes later he heard he open up the 'fridge. After a few more minutes he rolled over. He looked into the open closet across from the bed. There it hung. The yellow sundress he had worn back in August. It hung there, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off of it. He had the need to wear it. He knew that. Life had sucked so far and a part of him was deeply regretting the decision to get rid of Tracy, to forget that Troy and his problems existed. He rolled off of the bed and went to shut the bedroom door.

Ten minutes later, while Modine was busy at the counter, preparing food and his mother Maggie, was at the table making a salad, Tracy walked in, wearing the yellow sundress. Her almost neck length hair was pulled into two small pigtails. She stopped just by the table and looked at her grandmother. “Can I help?” The young girl asked.

Both women looked at her in surprise. But her grandmother recovered first. “Sure sweetie.” Modine stepped back from the stove. “Come on Tracy, I'll show you how to make my meatloaf.” She smiled. “And au gratin potatoes.”

She gave her grandmother a shy smile and stepped up to the counter. “Is it easy?” She asked.

Modine shrugged. “It depends. With the two of us, we can make quick work of this.”

“Okay.” Tracy replied.

“First thing we have is a problem.” Modine said looking at the child. “We have two items that will go in the oven. One needs to cook for an hour and a half at four hundred degrees. The other only takes an hour and twenty minutes, but only cooks at three hundred and fifty degrees.” She raised one eyebrow. “So tell me, how can we do this, without cooking one, then the other.”

“Um...” Tracy stood there, biting her lower lip. “Cook them both together?”

“Okay, how would we do that. One needs a higher temp and longer time in the oven.” The older woman asked, then she waited again.

“Do the higher temp one first? The put in the other halfway though?” Tracy guessed.

“That's a good guess, young lady.” Modine smiled. “We'll start with the potatoes first, then put in the meatloaf.”

“Okay.” Tracy grinned. She began working on the first dish, while being coached from her grandmother.

Maggie looked over at her child, who was now smiling ear to ear, something she had not seen in about three weeks. “It's good to see you smile again.”

“Thank you Mama.” The girl replied as she mixed the ingredients.

“I didn't think we were going to see Tracy again.” Maggie stated, as she finished up her salad.

“I...I wasn't going to, but then I got to thinking. Vance is gone and Grandpa is gone for the weekend and I had to.” Tracy said, her smile fading for a moment.

“Had too?” Maggie asked her.

“Yeah. It's...” Tracy sighed. “When I'm Tracy, it's like I can act like there's no Vance. Tracy has no siblings. She has no cares in the world.”

“I understand.” Maggie said with a grin. “Tracy is your release valve. So the pressure of life wont build up.”

She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “I think so.” She replied.

Maggie got up and waited for her daughter to stop what she was doing. “Well, as long as you're happy, I'm happy.”

“Thank you Mama.” Tracy replied.

“So you're not going to the party?” Modine asked.

“No. I only know Peter. Besides hanging out with you two can be fun too.” Tracy smiled at them. “I can go out with him tomorrow.”

“Well then. Maybe we should see what's on TV tonight.” Modine left the room. Tracy continued what she was doing as her grandmother came back in with a TV guide. “We could make popcorn and watch a movie, or something. Ah, The Wizard of Oz. It's a classic. It's on at eight tonight.”

“That sounds good to me.” Tracy replied.

“Well then, let's get cracking on this dinner.” Modine put down the TV guide and began helping Tracy with any cutting she'd have to do. Maggie began helping from her other side and Tracy wasn't going to complain at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After dinner and dishes, the three ladies went out to the back porch to enjoy the Autumn weather and wait for the moving to start. They still had a couple of hours to go, so Modine had brought out three slices of an apple pie that had baked the day before.

“So has Tracy been getting better at cooking?” Maggie asked as she set her fork down on her empty plate.

“You tell me.” Modine smiled. “She made that pie.”

“Really?” Maggie asked.

Tracy smiled. For a moment she swore she had heard knocking, but she figured it to be her imagination. “Well Grandma helped me out, I just put it together.” The girl blushed from the attention.

“Well, you are getting better.” Her mother said. “Soon I'll let you have full rein in the kitchen.”

“Thank you Mama.” Her blush seemed to get brighter.

“Maybe some day you'll be entrusted with my special recipes.” Maggie leaned forward. “All those things your Nana Bernice used to make when we lived in LA.”

“Really? Do you have her cookie recipe ?” Tracy sat up, a smile plastered to her face and she began to bounce slightly. “I love those cookies.”

None of them realized that Peter had been standing there for a few moments. “Excuse me, Mrs Patterson.” He called out to them as he stopped by the side of the house. “Grandma Patterson.” He nodded to both women with a smile and took another couple of steps. His gaze fell on Tracy and he paused for a moment as he tried to figure out who she was. “Hello.” He gave her a smile. Her eyes went wide and her heart started to race, Modine put her hand over Tracy's to try and calm her down.

None of the women talked as he looked back to Maggie. “I stopped by to see if Troy wanted to hang out instead. I know we were going to the party, but when he said no, I decided to not to go myself.” He had a nagging feeling that the girl looked familiar. “Is he around?”

Maggie almost gestured to her child, but then she realized that this information could be bad. A quick lie sprung into her head. Tracy stayed in her seat, looking down at her lap. “He's not feeling well. Dinner didn't agree with him.” Maggie said with a grin.

“Oh.” Peter sighed. “Well, let him know I stopped by.”

“I will.” Maggie said.

“Thank you Mrs. Patterson, Grandma Modine.” He looked at Tracy and smiled again, then he took a couple of steps closer. “Hi, I'm Peter, you must be one of Troy's cousins.”

Troy had hoped that he wouldn't recognize who he was. She didn't talk and she kept her gaze on her lap. She only gave a slight nod and kept quiet.

“Do you need a ride home?” Maggie said as she noticed her child's tension build.

“Nah, I got my bike.” He said with a grin.

“Oh, okay.” She replied.

Peter could feel that they were uncomfortable, so he began to go to the side of the house, turning his head to talk to them once more as he went. “Well ladies, have a nice.....” His steps stopped and he turned to look at Tracy again. He stood there for a moment, then asked. “Troy? Is that you?”

The young boy didn't reply. Instead, the young girl who was there knew she was caught, so she jumped from the table and flung the backdoor opened, running to the safety of the guest bedroom. Peter stood there for a moment, unsure what to do. Modine and Maggie both stood up, the older woman patting Troy's mother on the arm. “I got her.”

“Thank you Mom.” Maggie began down the steps and sighed as she walked up to Peter. “Peter, I think we need to talk.” She gestured to the steps of the porch. She sat down and waited for the younger boy to come over.

As he sat next to her he hooked a thumb to the door. “That was Troy, right?”

Maggie had to nod. Peter was Troys friend and she was desperately hanging on to the hope that he'd still be after this. “Yes.”

“Was that his costume?” Peter asked. He was considered mentally challenged when it came to school. He had been in the classes for what many of the nice adults referred to as the slow kids, but there was more to him then a disability. When it came to reading people and manual labor, he was a sharp kid. “Or is it something different?”

Maggie nodded. “Peter, first things first, I need your promise that you will not say anything, especially to Vance or Troy's father. Can I have your word?”

The boy turned to face her better and he nodded. “Yeah. I won't tell Vance anything about anything.”

“Good. I'm not going to try and deny it. You're too quick on some things.” Maggie replied. “That was Troy, well she calls herself Tracy. It's not a costume.”

“Is she a cross-dresser?” He asked.

Maggie raised an eyebrow and blinked a couple of times. “Cross-dresser?”

“Yeah, you know, dudes who wear women's clothes?” Peter looked at her as though everyone knew about it. “Or is he one of those Transsexuals?”

“Um....” Maggie was getting more confused by the boy. “How do you know all of this?”

“I got a half brother in San Francisco who's a drag queen.” Peter said with a shrug. “He used to live with a guy that was becoming a girl, but hadn't got his thingy taken off yet.” Peter blushed at the slight mention of the male parts, no matter that they weren't mentioned by name.

“I'm not sure what she is. What she told us this evening was that Tracy was her chance to act like a different person. When She's Tracy, she is an only child. There's no Vance, no William, just her and me.” Maggie thought about it for a moment, then she shifted so she could face him better. “At least that's how I took it.”

“That's cool. I always thought Troy seemed too nice for a boy. He has a thing about getting dirty, plus he's not into sports and rough housing.”

“But he likes being Troy too.” Maggie shrugged.

“No he doesn't.” Peter said with a shake of his head

Maggie cocked her head slightly and looked at him strangely. “What do you mean he's not happy?”

“Before I said anything, Tracy was blushing and smiling. At school and when we hang out he's hasn't smiled in over a year or two now.” Peter replied. “Well, not real ones anyway. I know, when mom got divorced, she acted like she smiled, but she never did.”

Maggie sat and thought about it for a few moments and she realized Peter was right. “But is it all because he wants to be her, or is Vance a factor too?”

[Meanwhile inside]

Modine went to the guest bedroom, where the source of the soft crying was coming from. As she came in she saw Tracy's head buried in the pillow. Her yellow sundress had already been removed, leaving the young child in just a pair of panties and a bra. The older woman sat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on her grandchild's shoulder. “It'll be okay Sweetheart.”

“No...” Tracy raise her head a bit and between sobs she shook her head and uttered. “No it wont. I'm dead.” She let her head fall back into the pillow again.

“How do you know?” Modine asked. “You don't know if he'll hate you or not.”

She lifted her head once more. “My only friend just saw me as a girl! I'm DEAD! He'll tell the school!”

“NOW YOUNG LADY!” Modine snapped, not because she was mad, but to grab the child attention. Tracy's eyes drifted to her and she waited for the punishment. Her grandmother continued “I do not let people yell at me in my house.” Modine said in a quiet, calm tone. “Second, you don't know what he'll do. Only he can tell you what he'll do, in words and action.”

“But he saw me in a dress.” Tracy motioned to the discarded garment.

“And if he says anything, you can say it was a Halloween costume.”

“You don't understand.” Tracy put her face against the pillow and began to cry some more.

“Maybe, but maybe you're not giving Peter a chance.” Modine said as she stood up. “I'll be outside with your mother, if you want to be social, okay.” She didn't get a response, so she headed for the backdoor.

As Modine stepped out onto the back porch, Peter turned to look at her, then the door. “She's not coming out?” He asked.

“No. I tried, but she's afraid you'll tell the school and everyone else.”

“I won't.” He slumped his shoulders.

“Peter, think of it this way, she's scared. You found a secret and she don't know if you'll stay there for her or not.” Maggie replied.

“She's got a point.” Modine said.

“Can I talk to her?” Peter said, standing up.

“I don't know if that's a good idea.” Modine sated to say, shaking her head.

“Mom, He's got family members like Tracy. Maybe he can help her out?” Maggie stood up. “It's worth a try at least.”

The older woman took a few moments to think about it, then she nodded. “Let's try. Come on young man.”

Modine lead him into the house and to the guest bedroom, stopping him long enough to step in and throw a sheet over her grandchild. She walked out of the room, but stayed within ear shot in case of trouble. Peter stepped into the room and tapped Tracy's feet. “Hey.” He said in a soft voice. “Can I talk to you?”

“Go Away. You'll just tell everyone anyway.” She said lifting her head.

“Please?” He pleaded, sitting on the floor. “I promise I wont tell anyone anything.”

“Right.” Tracy let her head fall back on the pillow. “Like I trust you.” Her voice was muffled be the pillow, but he understood her.

“What if I told you something that you could tell people if I tell them about you?” Peter asked.

“Like what?” Tracy looked at him.

He let out a sigh and looked to the floor, his cheeks turned a deep shade of red, as he got the courage to let out his secret. “I...um...I wet the bed.”

Tracy scoffed at him. “Everyone wet the bed as a kid.”

“Not as a kid.” He replied, his eyes moved to a spot on the floor and stayed there. “I mean I wet the bed nightly. Last night, the night before.” A single tear escaped his right eye. He had just given her a piece of information that he wasn't proud of, something he always tried to hide. “That's...that's why you've never stayed over for the night. That's why I won't stay over here.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment and she realized he was right. In all the years he had known her, they never spent the night together. She always had to go home, or he did. She wasn't sure how to respond, other then to roll on to her side and watch him.

Peter pulled himself together, before he ran off in embarrassment and he looked up. “I have a half brother who wears women's clothes in shows they put on in bars. He's a drag queen. He had a friend who was born a boy but wanted to be a girl. I promise I'll never tell anyone.”

Tracy slowly sat up and kept watching him. He noticed that the sheet had dropped, showing her bra and almost her lap. On reflex, Peter turned away and held a hand up. “Um, cover please?”

“What?” She asked.

“You're bra. I can see it.” He answered.

She looked down and shrieked, yanking up the sheet. “Weirdo” She said.

“Yep.” He stood up, grabbing her dress as he did, then he handed it to her. “I came over because I wanted to hang out with you. The only reason I invited you to go to that party was I thought you'd have fun, but if you weren't there, I would have hated it.”

“I still don't want to go.” She said, taking the dress.

“I know. That's why I'd like to hang out with you, tonight.” Peter walked to the door and stepped out, but only closed it a little. “Maybe watch a movie or something here, if your grandma will let me?” He offered.

“Well, we were going to Watch the Wizard of Oz, it should be on soon. Ask and see if you can stay, I'm sure she'll say yes.” She replied. Then she bit her lower lip. “Um....Who do you want? Tracy or Troy?”

He looked back into the room and smiled at her. “I want you to be happy. Be whoever makes you happy.”

“Vance, please just go.” Tracy pleaded.

“That's a great idea!” His wicked grin got bigger. “I'll go....and call Bruce and Frankie. They'd love to hear this!”

“Please don't.” She began to make her way down the steps, tears began to race down her cheeks. “Don't tell anyone.”

“Too late for that, Fag. It's all your fault anyway.” Vance turned and ran out of the yard as Tracy made it to the bottom step. She fell to her knees and began crying hard.

When he heard Vance's voice Peter had already been moving to the door, But the older boy was gone by time he got to her side. Modine stepped out and looked around for trouble, concern on her face. “Tracy, what happened.”

“Vance just seen her.” Peter replied, helping Tracy to her feet. “He's going to call his punk friends.”

Please note, there is a few harsh words in here so I left the rating at PG15. It also has Petticoat Punishment

November 13th 1982
Northern California

It was another Reno trip for Conner, so Tracy had come out once more. But this time she had a friend. Modine had allowed Peter to hang out with Tracy. After Halloween, she knew Peter was on her grandchild’s side. So she had allowed Peter to come over and hang out as Tracy did her chores. She did feel a bit bad because Vance was will forced to work alone, as much as Tracy needed a friend, it still wasn't fair that she got a friend for the day and Vance didn't.

But then Modine wasn't a fan of the two boys that Vance hung out with. One had been held back for a year in school for fighting. She had even heard from people that he had already had several run-ins with the law. The other boy, Frankie, wasn't much better. From the rumors she heard they both had bad tempers, and just plain bad apples, but then those were just rumors. They were also a grade above Vance and older too. Either way, she didn't want them on her property when Conner was gone.

The morning had gone it's usual way, Troy waking up and becoming Tracy so she could make breakfast. Peter had showed up in time for food. After that they made quick work of the remaining house work, Peter pitching in even though he didn't have to. At lunch, the three of them retreated to the back porch. For the middle of November, it was warmer then normal, with a slight breeze in the trees. So she wanted one last lunch with her granddaughter on her porch, before they had to stop for the winter.

Because her work was mostly done for the weekend, Tracy decided to sit on the back porch when Peter helped Modine take the dishes into the house. She was all alone in her thoughts of the day that she didn't pay attention to the sound of the gate being opened.

“Hey Grandma, I'm finished with.....What the hell?” Vance's voice pulled Tracy from her little dream world. She looked up from the table to see her brother at the side of the backyard, staring at her. He knew who she was. Eleven years of knowing him did that.

Tracy looked up with a star and froze when she saw him. “Vance?”

“Look at the little fag!” Vance taunted from the yard, a wicked grin spread onto his lips. “Now I know why you get it so easy, sissy fag.” His insults weren't good, but they still hurt.

“Vance, please just go.” Tracy pleaded.

“That's a great idea!” His wicked grin got bigger. “I'll go.....and call Bruce and Frankie. They'd love to hear this!”

“Please don't.” She got up and began to make her way down the steps, tears began to race down her cheeks. “Don't tell anyone.”

“Too late for that, Fag. It's all your fault anyway.” Vance turned and ran out of the yard as Tracy made it to the bottom step. She fell to her knees and began crying hard.

When he heard Vance's voice Peter had already been moving to the door, But the older boy was gone by time he got outside. Modine stepped out and looked around, concern on her face. “Tracy, what happened.”

“Vance just seen her.” Peter replied, helping Tracy to her feet. “He's going to call his punk friends.”

“Damn.” Modine rarely cursed, but this was a good time for one. “So he's knows.” She said, not to anyone, but aloud. She thought about it for a moment, then she turned to the door. “Tracy, get changed. I know you don't want to be Troy, but we need to deflect this now. Peter, I need some help and fast. Troy, when you're changed, come over to your place.”

Peter helped Tracy to the door, then he followed the older woman. “So what are we going to do?” He asked as she led him into her bedroom.

“Oh, something I planned on a while ago.” She replied with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maggie was just pulling her car to a stop in front of their house as Modine and Peter came walking over. Peter held a garment bag over his shoulder and a show box in one arm. The only thing Modine had was a very angry look on her face and a bag on her shoulder. Maggie raised an eyebrow as they got closer. “What's going on?” She asked.

“Vance just found Tracy and he came over to call his friends.” Modine said.

“Damn.” Maggie replied. “I'll blister his hide if he does.”

“I think he already is.” Modine said as they walked to the front door. “But grandma has a plan.”

“Sorry. I didn't think it would be a problem to take off, but I needed some stuff from the store for dinner.” Maggie stated.

“Maggie, you shouldn't have to apologize. It's Vance he needs to apologize to his sister for getting her to cry.” They opened the door and found Vance on the phone

“Yeah, in a fucking dress! Isn't that awesome! Told you he was a little queer!” Vance laughed into the phone as he talked to Bruce. He stood over the phone,. His back to the door. “Yeah, hurry over, Frankie's on his way. Teach the little queer to wear a dress.”

Maggie’s temper flared, but Modine stopped her from moving. She held up a finger over her lips to keep Troy's mother quiet and they waited.

“Yeah, See you in a few.” Vance hung up the phone and he turned around, his jaw dropping as he saw his mother, grandmother and Peter, and none of them were happy. “Um....Hi.”

“Don't you fucking hi me.” Maggie stepped closer to him. “You just had to tell your punk friends about Troy, didn't you?” Her fists balled up and she looked ready to swing.

“It's not my fault the little fag wears a dress!” Vance shouted back. Maggie opened her hand up and slapped him across the face. He staggered back as Modine walked forward.

“Maggie. Don't hit him.” The older woman replied. Maggie glared at her and she pointed to Vance. “I need him blemish free, so this looks like his idea.”

Maggie was now confused and angry. “What is his idea.”

Vance looked up at his grandmother a bit worried. Modine just smiled wider. “Peter, can you step outside please. Vance needs some privacy while he changes. And make sure Troy doesn't come in either. Be ready if those punks start something though.” She turned and took the garment bag from Peter as he put the shoe box on a coffee table, then left.

“What do you mean?” Vance asked, looking at what Peter had brought in. “Change into what?”

“Oh.” Modine began to open the bag. Vance's eyes got wide with fear as she just smiled from his reaction. “Just this.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Troy was by the apple tree that grew next to his parent's house. Peter was reaching up and picking a couple apples as Bruce and Frankie pulled up on their bikes. Peter handed Troy an apple and gave him a comforting smile and nod of the head. It was a look that said it all. "I got your back. I'll march through hell to protect you and here, enjoy this apple and the show." Troy smiled back. They had been informed of part of the plan, but they still weren't sure what his grandmother was doing to Vance, but from the swearing, it was going to be good.

Bruce hopped off his bike, letting it fall onto it's side. He walked over to the two friends and began laughing. “Aw, didn't like your dress, fagot?”

Frankie came up laughing. “Is this your boyfriend?”

“Oh shut up.” Peter said, puffing out his chest to Bruce.

“Make me retard.” Bruce said as he shoved Peter backwards.

As Peter began to move forward, Maggie’s voice stopped him. “Peter! You will not fight, you understand me!” The boy nodded and stepped back. She pointed a finger at Bruce. “You can stop that shit or you can leave my house now.” Bruce just glared at her. He took a step or two away from Peter as two more people stepped out of the house.

Troy's jaw dropped as he saw his brother. Vance was dressed in a frilly pink dress that had a large bow just over his ass. His hair was pulled into pig tails and there was makeup on his face. At first Modine had held his ear, but then she gave him a shove to make him get fully out of the door. “Hey, Maggie, your 'Daughter' is ready now. Doesn't Veronica just look darling?” She looked over to Bruce and Frankie and feigned a shocked expression. She looked at her grandson. “OH. Oh no, I...I didn't know there was anyone else here. I'm so sorry Veronica.”

His cheeks went slightly red, but they got darker as Bruce and Frankie began laughing at him. “Cute dress 'Veronica.'” Bruce said as he laughed.

“I DIDN'T PUT THIS ON!” Vance roared.

“Could have fooled me.” Frankie said with a laugh.

Vance stormed back into the house and Maggie just shook her head. She looked at Bruce and Frankie and shrugged. “I'm sorry you came over, but you may want to head home, I think my daughter needs some alone time with her mommy.” She turned to face Peter and Troy. “Troy, can you get the food out of my car please?”

“Sure mom.” He said with a smile.

“So you both wear dresses?” Bruce asked as he got onto his bike.

“Um, I'm wearing pants and a boys shirt.” Troy replied, gesturing to his clothes.

“You took it off.” Frankie said. “Vance said you were wearing a dress."

“He also said you broke the window last month. Hell, he lies so much, Mom can never believe him.” Troy replied.

Frankie looked at Bruce and they didn't say a word. They knew of Vance's problems in the truth department. Without another word they just got on their bikes and took off.

“Man, that was nice.” Peter said as they opened the back doors of the car and started pulling out grocery bags.

As his hands were full, Troy went to the door and managed to work the knob, then he stepped in. Vance was sitting in a chair, glaring at him. Modine slapped his cheek and Vance looked back to her.

“This isn't his fault. You pushed it by calling your friends.” The older woman said.

“They'll know I didn't do this.” He said smugly.

“Really? With all the times you lie to us?” Maggie said.

He grumbled for a moment, then looked at his mother. “Can I get out of this now?”

“No.” Modine replied. “Welcome to your new punishment.” The woman's lips pulled back into a feral smile.

“What? You can't do this.” Vance began to stand up, but his mother pushed him back into his chair.

“Yes. Yes she can. I support her and I will make sure your father agrees to it too.” Maggie said.

“For the next three weeks when your home, you will be in a dress. Except Thanksgiving. Don't need to explain Petticoat Punishment to the rest of the family.” Modine replied as she sat down on the couch. “You will wear a dress or skirt while you do your chores too. You destroy them and it's another week. You tell your father about Troy and it's a year. You tell the school....well, that wont happen, will it.”

“Oh, why not.” Vance tried to sound tough as he shot her a defiant look.

“Stand up and I'll show you why.” The older woman began to open the bag she had carried over. Vance stood up and she pulled out a camera. Before he could react, she snapped his picture. “You won't talk because I'll give Troy a copy of this. Then you have no proof and he will. So no one will believe you.”

“You can't do that!” He shrieked.

“But you could?!?” Maggie snapped at him. “You don't want people to see you, but you wanted your punk friends to come over and beat up your brother?!? Face it, that's what would have happened!”

Modine snapped another picture and Vance turned away from her. “That was different.” He replied quietly.

Maggie grabbed his shoulder and spun him around as his grandmother snapped one more picture. His mother pointed a finger at his face. “You tell anyone at school and you'll be going to school, daily, in this dress. I can make it happen, so don't push me.” He paled at the threat. She had known his principal for years. He knew that Mr Harper was into different forms of punishment.

“So now that we understand each other, I'm going back to my place. Vance I expect you to finish your chores too. But you can wear a skirt for that. I just happen to have some in your size.” Modine said. “Troy, when you're finished you can come back. We still got some cleaning left to do.”

“Okay Grandma.” He replied as he went back out for more groceries. “I'll be there in a few minutes.” As she passed him though, his voice dropped to a whisper and he gave her hand a light squeeze. “Thank you.”

“Anything for my granddaughter.” She replied.

Ah I love it when the bullies get what's coming to them. This is not the end of Vance the jerk, but soon.

Troy grabbed a smaller bag and followed his father out to the car. The Autumn weather made him shiver slightly as he stepped outside. William stopped and put the bags he was carrying in, then took the one Troy had and put it in the back seat. He turned to his son and leaned against the side of the car. “I don't want to repeat your mother, but be good.”

“I will Dad.” Troy said.

“And I want to thank you Troy.” William said.

“For what?” Troy cocked his head to the side.

“You've been nothing but nice to Vance this week while your grandma has him in that dress. I still feel bad for laughing, but I wasn't ready for it.” He bent down and put a hand on his son's shoulder. “Thank you for being the bigger man.”

November 21st 1982
Northern California

Troy woke up in his own bed just after seven. There was sounds of movement from the living room. He knew it was his parents, getting ready to take off on a yearly couples retreat they had started going to a couple years back. He knew that he'd be sharing a room with Vance at his Grandmothers later that night, mostly because they thought he was too young to leave alone and Vance wasn't responsible enough.

He thought about what needed to be done at his grandmothers place. He had done up most of his chores the night before, leaving the dining room and living room left to do. They had decided to go the extra mile and move all the furniture to get the deep clean so the house was ready for Thanksgiving.

He got out of the bed and went to the dresser to grab his clothes before he took a shower. A good half an hour later, he was coming out of the bathroom as his brother was headed past him, still looking like he was half awake and wearing a nightgown that his grandmother had sent over for him as part of his punishment. Troy put a hand up and stopped him. “Hey, when your ready, come on over to Grandma's. I'm going to go in a bit and make some breakfast for them. I'll wait till you get there and I'll fry you up some sausage and eggs.”

“I...” Vance blinked, surprised at his brothers kindness, even after what he had tried to do. “I was just going to have cereal.” He said.

“Suit yourself. Just figured you'd enjoy a nice warm meal, in case you and grandpa are working outside today.” He started down the hall and as he got to the kitchen, his mother came around the corner.

“Okay, we're almost out of here. You two be good for your grand parents.” She kissed Troy on the cheek, then walked down the hall to where her eldest was at.

As she gave Vance a hug, their father walked into the kitchen, looked at Troy and hooked a thumb to the living room. “Hey big guy, want to help me load the car?”

Troy grabbed a smaller bag and followed his father out to the car. The Autumn weather made him shiver slightly as he stepped outside. William stopped and put the bags he was carrying in, then took the one Troy had and put it in the back seat. He turned to his son and leaned against the side of the car. “I don't want to repeat your mother, but be good.”

“I will Dad.” Troy said.

“And I want to thank you Troy.” William said.

“For what?” Troy cocked his head to the side.

“You've been nothing but nice to Vance this week while your grandma has him in that dress. I still feel bad for laughing, but I wasn't ready for it.” He bent down and put a hand on his son's shoulder. “Thank you for being the bigger man.”

Troy blushed and looked to the ground. “Just being nice.”

“I think that's the point. If you had this punishment, he'd be teasing you left and right.” William pulled his son in for a big hug. “And that makes you the bigger person. You're willing to forget and forgive.”

“I try.” He replied. The door opened up and his mother stepped out.

“Now be good. Your mother and I got a long drive in front of us.” He stood up and went to the car. Maggie stopped by her son once more and gave him a hug too.

“Bye Son.” She went over and slid into the passenger seat, leaving him in the driveway to watch them drive off.

He went back in and grabbed his coat, in case he ended outside again. In the bathroom he could hear the shower going. He thought about waiting for Vance but he wanted to let Vance have some peace, so he headed to his grandparents place. As he got to the top step, he knocked, then pushed the door open slightly. “It's Troy.” He called out.

“Come on in Troy.” He heard his grandmother say. He went to the kitchen, where his grandmother was at the table, working on her crossword puzzle. His grandfather was reading the sports section of the paper and nursing a cup of coffee.

It was now just past seven, so he decided to get working on the breakfast. He was halfway though making the sausage when there was another knock at the front door. Then he heard it open and Vance called out. “Can I come in? It's Vance.”

“Sure Vance, we're in the kitchen.” Modine called out.

Troy kept himself busy as his brother walked in, not bothering to look at what clothes he had put on, but he looked when he grandfather let out a short laugh. There stood his brother in a short red skirt with matching red shirt. “My god boy, what are you wearing that for?” Conner asked.

Troy could see his grandmother glare at his grandfather and he also saw Vance slump his shoulders. “I told you why.” Modine hissed at him.

As Vance was turning to go, Conner got up. “I'm Sorry Vance, I shouldn't have laughed.”

“It's fine.” The older boy replied as he plopped, very unladylike, into a free chair.

A thick silence fell on the room as Troy started to set out plates for everyone. The meal continued in silence, till Conner looked up. He wanted to apologize again, but he knew Vance was a hard nut to crack. “Well Vance, we'll be skipping working outside today. We're going to help in here, moving the heavy stuff so they can clean for Thanksgiving.”

“Okay.” Vance replied in a monotone voice. He slowly ate, not bothering to look up at any of them.

A part of Troy felt bad for what Vance was feeling,. He knew the fear that his brother felt all too well. He also knew the pain of being laughed at. He wanted to hug him and tell him that it would be okay, but he knew his brother would only get mad. So Troy joined in on the silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost noon when they had finished with the cleaning. Then came another silent meal. Sure, it was only sandwiches, but it felt awkward to Troy to eat in silence in that house. After Lunch, his grandfather took off to do the grocery shopping, something Vance would have helped with, but in his current dress, he refused to leave the property.

Troy took his grandmother to the side. “Grandma, can I talk to you?”

“Sure sweetie, what about.” She asked as they stepped into her bedroom.

“Vance.” He replied.

“You're feeling bad about what happened, aren't you?”

Troy nodded. “It's not just Grandpa, Dad laughed at him on Monday. He's barely eating and he's been hiding in the bedroom.” The little boy let out a sigh. “Is there anyway we can cut the punishment short?”

“Do you think he learned his lesson?” Modine asked.

“I don't know.” Troy shrugged. “But he knows what it's like to be laughed at.”

“I'll talk to him, but I want you to do me a favor." She leaned in, just in case Vance was listening and whispered in his ear.

A few moments later, Modine came walking into the living room, followed by Troy. Vance looked up from the TV for a moment, then he raised an eyebrow as his brother left the house.

Modine sat on the couch next to her grandson and turned to face him. “Vance, can I talk to you?” She asked in that grandmotherly tone she had.

“What?” He looked at her for a moment, then his eyes went back to the TV.

“You hate this, right?” She gestured to the skirt and shirt.

“What do you think?” He asked. “I hate it. I feel stupid.”

“And when your grandfather laughed at you, how did that feel?” She asked.

“I hated it.” Tears formed at the corner of his eyes and he looked away from her.

“What did your father do when he saw you?” She leaned against the back of the couch.

“He laughed.” Vance shook his head. “He thought it was funny.”

“I see. And what did you do?” Modine asked.

“I ran to my room and cried. Then I felt stupid for crying and I cried some more.” He replied.

“Have your friends talked to you lately?” She kept her tone comforting as she questioned him, trying to keep him talking.

“They keep laughing at me. Calling me fag and wimp and sissy.” He looked to her. “I thought they were my friends.”

“I know I can't pick your friends, but you can do so much better then them.” She sighed. "Losing friends was never a good thing and she had caused it, even though he was better off without them. Now do you understand why I made you wear this?”

“Because I was teasing Troy.” He replied.

“That is a starter. If Bruce and Frankie had seen him in a dress, they would have kept it up for a long time. They could have been worse.” She put a hand on his shoulder and turned him so she could see his face. The tears had made a path down his cheeks.

“Why does he do it? Why does he wear the dresses?”

Modine shrugged again. “I don't know all the reasons. He says it's a stress relief. He puts on the dress and he becomes someone else. No father, no brother, just the people who love her.”

“He thinks I hate him, doesn't he?” Vance asked.

“You are mean to him. He's had many days where he's just been in tears after dealing with you.” She nodded.

“I don't know why I do it. At times it's like he gets whatever he wants. Like these chores, he gets to come over here and hang out with you and cook and stuff, but I have to work in the field with grandpa.”

“It's not that easy for him. He's learning how to be a better cook so he can take over your mothers cooking at the house. That way she can relax a bit.” Modine shook her head. “Remember, he has to clean the houses each week.”

“It just seems unfair.” Vance muttered.

“What would you suggest?” Modine asked.

“Less work?” He said with a halfway, hopeful grin.

“The work is to help you be responsible.” She replied. “He's cleaning the house and making dinner. He does that almost daily. You only help in the field Saturday and Sunday. Plus dishes when he cooks. Isn't it unfair if you get to do less then he does?”

Vance wanted to say no, but he knew that was the wrong answer. “Yeah, it is.”

“What if we talked your parents into an allowance?” Modine suggested. “I could ask Conner about one for when you help him too.”

“Really?” He leaned forward. “That would be cool.”

“But that's still in the 'I need to ask' column. So don’t go thinking it's a set plan.” She said with a grin.

There was a knock at the door and it opened slightly. “Is it okay?” Troy asked.

“Yes, you can come in Troy.” Modine replied before turning her attention to Vance again. “So you know, I'm ending your punishment today. I'm ending it because your brother felt bed for your Grandfather and Father both laughing at you. He asked for me to end it.” Vance looked to Troy as he came in with a pair of pants and a shirt in his arms.

“You did?”

Troy nodded. “Yeah. It sucks to be laughed at for wearing something different, or being different.”

Vance started to stand, but Modine stopped him. “This doesn't mean you can just tell people about Troy. I still have that picture of you. I don't want to use it, but if you spread a rumor about Troy in a dress, or try to get those two kids over here to see him, I will punish you somehow.”

“Not the dress thing again, please?” Vance pleaded.

“How about you just focus on being a good brother and not telling anyone about Troy. Then you won't have to worry about getting in trouble for it.” She smiled and gestured to his brother. “Now you owe him a thank you, then get dressed. We can have some of the pie that's in the fridge when your changed.”

“Cool.” Vance stood up. He went over to his brother and the two of them shared one of those awkward hugs where neither is sure they want to follow through with the thought. He finally gave Troy a short, light hug, then took his clothes. “Thank you.” He said in a quiet voice.

“You're welcome, big brother.” Troy said with a smile.

"But...um..." Vance was at a loss for words. "Why did you want it to end?"

"Because." Troy's smile got bigger. "I may hate how you treat me, but your my brother. If I can't forgive you, what type of person am I? Besides, I think you get how it feels now."

Vance nodded as he started to go to the guest bedroom. "I do."

"Good. Just remember that the next time you want to tease me."

"I will." Vance said, giving him a sincere smile, then he headed off to change.

He ran towards the hall, but it was still packed with kids going in both directions, so instead of fighting the crowds, he ran for the playground, shoving his way through the crowd. He knew he could make it past one of the wings and make a bee line for his classroom. As he passed some of the seventh grade room, he barreled into someone. Both kids hit the ground, the lager one grabbing at him.

“Troy?” His brother said. “Who the hell you running from?”

Bruce and Frankie came running around the corner and they slid to a stop. “Well if it isn't Troy's big sister.”

“Back off Bruce.” Vance said, getting to his feet and putting Troy behind him.

“Isn't that cute, big sisters is protecting little sister.” Bruce sneered at them. “Guess we'll kick both of your asses.”

November 24 1982
Northern California

The teasing he had expected. But they had no proof in their taunts. Neither one had seen him in a dress, so Troy kept up his usual routine. Even Vance had also become the target of Bruce's verbal assaults but his brother didn't relent. Both siblings acted like Bruce was wrong and it was working.

But things got worse for Troy one day as he was headed from the cafeteria and back to his classes. It was the one time of the school day where the middle and elementary schools crossed paths. He never understood why the older kids were closer to the cafeteria, or why the younger ones ended up with classes by the bus stop. His class was in the middle of the school. There were no real halls, just a roof with open sides between each wing of the school. Troy walked out of a side door to the cafeteria and past a few of the open eight grade room and paused when he saw a person moving about the room, stopping at some of the desks. Then he realized it was Bruce.

The bigger kid opened up a couple of the desks, then he opened up a backpack and pulled out something, what it was, Troy didn't see, but he did watch as Bruce put it into his coat pocket. Then the bigger boy pulled something out of yet another pack and pocketed that too.

A second figure stepping into Troy's line of site and grabbed at him. “What the fuck you think you're doing!” Troy's instincts kicked in and he deflected the grab, then thrust a hand into Frankie's chest, sending him staggering backwards, then he did the one thing that all smaller kids do.

He ran.

He ran towards the hall, but it was still packed with kids going in both directions, so instead of fighting the crowds, he ran for the playground, shoving his way through the crowd. He knew he could make it past one of the wings and make a bee line for his classroom. As he passed some of the seventh grade room, he barreled into someone. Both kids hit the ground, the lager one grabbing at him.

“Troy?” His brother said. “Who the hell you running from?”

Bruce and Frankie came running around the corner and they slid to a stop. “Well if it isn't Troy's big sister.”

“Back off Bruce.” Vance said, getting to his feet and putting Troy behind him.

“Isn't that cute, big sisters is protecting little sister.” Bruce sneered at them. “Guess we'll kick both of your asses.”

“Try it Bruce.” Vance brought his hands up in a boxers stance.

The bigger boy didn't flinch, instead he rushed Vance, swinging low into his gut. Frankie had rushed to Vance's side, passing Vance and grabbing for Troy once more, but the little kid was ready. He used the bigger boy's speed, stepping to the side, then twisted while putting a hand on Frankie's back, causing his assailant to stumble and roll on the ground.

Vance was sent staggering back, stumbling a couple of steps till he fell into Troy, causing both boys to hit the ground. While pinned under Vance, Troy watched as Frankie scrambled to his feet and Bruce stepped closer. A group of kids began to swarm around them, yelling and chanting. As Bruce's foot began to cock back, A voice boomed loud.

“CUT IT OUT!” A teacher shoved his way though the circle of on-lookers and pulled Bruce back. He cast a glance at the assembled students. “Go back to your classes, NOW!”

The group slowly departed. The teacher glared at all four of the boys in question. “All four of you, get up, we're headed to the principals office.” Vance groaned, but he rolled over and stood up, He held out a hand for his brother to take, which he did. The two Patterson boys headed to the office, while the teacher waited for Bruce and Frankie.

As the two brothers entered the hall outside the office, Troy looked to Vance, shaking just a bit. He had never been in enough trouble to be sent to the office. “Are we in trouble?” He asked.

“Who knows. We were fighting.” Vance replied. “But it was self defense.”

“Can I help you boys?” A friendly looking older lady said, looking over the large receptionist desk in the main office.

“Yeah. We were sent here by Mr. Carter.” Vance replied.

“Oh.” She looked up and into the hall and saw Mr. Carter walking behind two more boys. “Take a seat boys, I'll let him know.” Vance and Troy took a seat on an empty bench and Troy kept shaking in fear. She got up and was headed into the office as Bruce pushed the door open and stepped in, glaring at Vance and Troy. He turned to sit on the benches that the brothers were on when Mr. Carter Stepped in the way. “No. You sit over there.” The teacher pointed to another bench.

The boys sat down as Mr. Harper came out of his office, followed by his secretary. He was a tall, thin man. There was little hair on the top of his head and from one look at him, you knew he didn't tolerate trouble from anyone.

He looked at all four boys, shaking his head at Bruce and Frankie, then he looked at the teacher. “Mr. Carter? What happened.”

“They were fighting. These two against the Patterson boys.”

“I see. Well, come into my office.” He opened up a little gate that led into his office and gestured for the four boys to proceed. Then Mr. Carter stepped in. Inside the officer there was little in the way of furnishing. Two chairs were on the near side of the desk, on the other side was a larger chair. The walls were lined in pictures of the school and the different school sports teams.

Mr. Harper passed them and took a seat at his desk, then he looked to Mr. Carter. “Well, did you see what happened?”

“Well not the start of the fight, I just saw him.” He pointed to Bruce. “punch Vance. He fell into his brother. I think Frankie was about to attack him from the other side, looked like he had tripped.”

“He threw me!” Frankie yelled, pointing at Troy. Troy's eyes went wide and he began to think of all the stories that the younger kids get told on what happens if you get sent to the office. Some of them revolved around a paddle that was three feet long and covered in spikes. He knew he didn't want to get beat. But if he told the truth, he'd get beat from other kids around the school.

“Yeah! They started it!” Bruce pointed at the two brothers too.

“Troy threw you?” Mr. Harper asked, sounding not at all convinced. “That Troy, the little guy?”

“Yeah him!” Frankie replied.

“Okay. One at a time. Mr. Harper looked at Troy. “Who started it.”

Troy swallowed hard. He had also heard about what happens to kids who tell on others, but if he didn't, he was in big trouble for fighting. “They were chasing me and I ran into Vance. I didn't start anything.” He said, voice quavering in fear.

“And did you throw him?” Mr. Harper asked.

“Not really.” Troy replied. “I just stepped out of the way when he ran at me. He tripped himself, it's a basic move.” Troy said.

“And did you fight?” Mr. Harper moved his gaze to Vance.

“Yes sir.” He held his head down. “I was only keeping Troy safe from Bruce. I didn't even hit him though.”

“They're lying!” Bruce snapped. “They started it. I watched Troy pick Frankie up and throw him.”

Mr. Harper held back the laughter. “Young Mr. Millet, do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?”

“Well he did.” Bruce growled.

“Mr. Millet, I've seen Troy in this office once in the past five years that he's been here and that wasn't for fighting. You're in here what? Twice a month, if not more for fighting? I'm more inclined to believe the student I have less trouble from. But seeings as how I've got to remain an impartial judge, I want to hear from all of you.”

He looked to Troy. “Vance said you were running. Why?”

“They were chasing me.” Troy said, looking at his feet. He didn't want to be known as a snitch, but he knew it may come up.

“I see. And why were they chasing you?” Mr. Harper asked.

Troy looked up for a moment. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Bruce glaring at him. “I saw Bruce take something.” He said.

“Take what and from where?”

“I was headed back from lunch when I passed one of the eight grade classes. Him and Frankie were taking stuff out of packs and desks.”

“He's lying!” Bruce yelled.

Mr. Harper held up a hand for silence and then pressed a button on a black box that sat on the edge of his desk. “Mrs. Stevens, can you call The parents of The Patterson boys, Mr. Millet and Mr. Conway please. And can you also call Mr. McCoy to cover Mr. Carter's class please?”

“Yes Sir.” a tinny voice replied through the speaker.

“Sorry to keep you here, it's gotten a bit stickier then a fight.” Mr. Harper said with a nod of his head to the teacher.

“I understand.” Mr. Carter leaned against the wall and waited.

“Now boys, we can make this go a lot faster if you all start with the truth.” Mr. Harper kept his gaze on Bruce. “Were you taking anything from one of the class rooms?”

“NO!” Bruce yelled.

“Okay, I see how this will end. Mr. Carter, please Take Vance and Troy to the nurses station. We'll keep these two separated till the parents and cops get here.” The Principal picked up the phone.

“Cops?” Bruce asked, a bit worried.

“Yes. If there has been theft on the school grounds, then I have to inform them. Unless you'd like to tell me anything.” Mr. Harper put a finger on the cradle, hanging the phone up, but he held the handset at the ready.

“He's fucking lying.” Bruce pointed at Troy again.

“Troy, do you have proof?” Mr. Harper asked.

“He put it in his coat pocket.” Troy said.

“I see.” The principal looked to Bruce. “Would you like to empty your pockets now? If you give me a show of faith, I may be able to keep from calling the cops. The most your looking at could be expulsion, not jail time.” Neither boy made a move. “Think about it Gentlemen. You empty your pockets and the most you may face is expulsion.” He leveled his gaze on Bruce. “I know of your record. Do you really want to break your probation? You'll end up in the Juvenile detention facility again.” Mr. Harper gave him his best poker face stare and it paid off.

Bruce's face lost it's color. He put his hand into his pocket, then he placed a small cloth covered case on the desk, followed with a cheap necklace. Frankie stepped up and placed a few more items on the desk.

“Troy, Vance, please wait for your parents in the nurses office.” He looked to the other two boys. “Please sit, you'll wait in here.”

Half an hour later, Troy, found himself in the Principals office again, this time with his mother and brother. Bruce and his mother stood off to the side and Frankie's father stood on the other side of the room.

Mr. Harper had finished tell the parents about the fight, then he went into the why of how it happened, including showing the items that their sons had taken. Both Frankie's and Bruce's parents started in on their children, but Mr. Harper stopped it.

“Now I will tend to the matter of the fight first.” He looked at Maggie and gestured to her sons. “While they may have been protecting themselves and I applaud Vance in defending his brother, they still fought.” He looked at Troy for a moment, then back at his mother. “Even if the only thing done was a simple redirect of an attacker. School rules are unforgiving in this, to both parties. So Vance and Troy are suspended from school for three days, but with Thanksgiving tomorrow and no school Friday and today is almost over, that means they return next Thursday.”

“Okay.” She sighed. “Is that all?”

“Yes it is Maggie. Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Mr. Harper replied. He wrote out two slips of paper and handed them to each boy. “Boys, go collect your stuff and give these to your teachers.”

“Yes sir.” The boys replied, then they left, with their mother behind them. A few minutes later they were in the car and headed home. Maggie had been quiet since they left the office and Troy was getting worried that more trouble was about to befall them.

“Mom?” Troy asked. “Are you mad at us.”

“Not really Sweetheart.” She sighed. “I'm a bit mad, but not at you. I've always told you fighting isn't the answer. But I can understand why those boys chased you. So, no I'm not mad at you.”

“Will Dad be mad?” Troy asked.

“I don't know sweetheart.” Maggie shrugged her shoulders. “I just don't know.”

“I hear there was some trouble at school today. Would you like to tell me what happened?” William asked as Troy took a seat. His face showed no emotions, but the boys could tell how he forced himself to speak in a calm to that he wasn't pleased. The big man shut off the TV, forcing Vance to pay attention to him. He stood in front of them, arms crossed and looking none to happy.

Troy looked up at his dad, trying to not think about the trouble he was in. “We got in a fight today.”

“With each other?” He began tapping one foot, glaring from one boy, then to the next and back again.

“No. We fought with Bruce and Frankie.” Troy replied.

William looked at Vance. “I thought they were your friends.”

November 24 1982
Northern California

When the boys first got home, Maggie went over to her mother-in-laws to explain what had happened and that the boys were home early, then she went back to work or so the boys had thought. Vance had stepped out of the house to walk around the property and think. Troy just went to his room and lay on the bed, waiting for the punishment that he knew was coming.

At just around three, Troy got up to make dinner. He went with Lasagna, his fathers favorite in the vain attempt that his father would go easy on them. When that was finished, he went back to his room to sit and think some more. He knew he was in the right, at least on telling about Bruce and Frankie stealing. He didn't feel like he was in the right, but what could he do.

He began to think how Tracy would have handled the situation and he came up with the same response. Stealing was wrong. He knew that, hell, children over six years old knew that. Now he had not only his father, but Bruce and Frankie to worry about. It was a little bit after five when his brother came into the house and Troy got out of bed to check on dinner. Then the two siblings went to the living room to watch some TV, hoping for something good till their parent's came home. A part of Troy was hoping his grandmother would show up, but she hadn't.

At half past five, they heard two cars pull up in the drive and Troy began to shake. This had been his first time that he ever got in trouble at school. He knew his father would be furious. He could barely hear talking through the windows, then he watched as his mother led their father away to talk.

It was when Troy got up to put the garlic bread in the over that his parents came back in. His mother stepped into the kitchen and gestured to him with a finger, so he set a timer, dropped his head down and walked slowly into the living room.

“I hear there was some trouble at school today. Would you like to tell me what happened?” William asked as Troy took a seat. The big man shut off the TV, forcing Vance to pay attention to him. He stood in front of them, arms crossed and looking none to happy.

Troy looked up at his dad, trying to not think about the trouble he was in. “We got in a fight today.”

“With each other?” He began tapping one foot, looking from one boy, then to the next and back again.

“No. We fought with Bruce and Frankie.” Troy replied.

William looked at Vance. “I thought they were your friends.”

“They were, till Grandma made me wear that dress and they came over and saw me in it.” Vance stated. “Now they tease me about it all the time.”

“And that's why you fought?” He asked.

Troy shook his head. “No. Bruce and Frankie chased me because I saw them stealing stuff in an open class room.”

“I think I see. So they chased you. You found Vance, then the two of you kicked their collective butts?” William arched an eyebrow.

“No, I ran into Vance, I was trying to get to my classroom.” Troy replied.

“But you found Vance and beat them up?” William waited patiently. He began drumming his fingers to one arm on a bicep. Both boys had seen this before, usually before they ended up with a spanking and no dinner.

“No, he ran into me, knocked us both to the ground. By time I got up, Bruce was there. Heck, Bruce hit me, I didn't even have a chance to swing back. Troy didn't even hit Frankie, he just moved out of the way.” Vance supplied. “But I wasn't going to let them beat Troy up.”

“Okay.” Their father nodded. He was silent for a few moments, then he walked out of the house, gesturing to Maggie to follow him. They were gone for a few minutes. Troy couldn't pick up on any whispers.

When William returned he went to the kitchen and got a glass of tea, letting the boys wait so they got more nervous. “Your mother confirms the story, at least according to Mr. Harper. I believe you.” He said, giving them a small smile. Then he placed a hand on Troy's shoulder. “It's hard to tell someone, even a principal, something like that but you did good Troy.” His youngest began to blush.

“Thank you Dad.” Troy said.

“A lot of the kids at the school won't think it's good and you may have cost yourself some friends, but if they can't stick with you for doing what's right, then you don't need them as friends. “

He let go of Troy, then rested the same hand on his other son's shoulder. “And Vance. You've been bad at beating Troy up yourself. I know I've ignored a lot of that myself, but your mother's been helping me with that.” William gave them, a sad smile and a shake of his head. “I really have dropped the ball with you two at times.”

Neither boy answered and Maggie spoke up. “We've been so busy trying to make sure we have money to live that you've both done a lot of growing up on your own.”

William nodded. “And we're a long time in saying this. We're both proud of you. Vance, you placed yourself between him and your friends. It takes a big person to forgo his friends in order to protect someone else. No doubt that they'll hate you now.”

“I know dad.” Vance replied. “I think they already do.”

Their father took a deep breath. He looked at Maggie and shrugged, she returned the gesture and then he looked back at his sons. “I can't see a reason to punish you two. You both did what's right. You defended family and you let someone know that they were stealing. You've been suspended from school for three days for doing whats right. I think that's a stupid rule, but I can see a reason behind it. So I wont make it worse.” William watched as both boys visibly relaxed. “I'm not saying this will work each time you're fighting at school. But this time I won't punish you.”

His sons looked at him in shock, it had been the one outcome they never expected to hear. “Thank you Dad.” The boys replied in unison.

“Just don't make a habit of this.” He stood up. A bell rang in the kitchen and Troy looked up, then raced off to pull dinner out of the over. When he returned, he took his seat on the couch again.

William looked at both of them. “We'll eat in a moment. But for now don't think you'll just lay around the house till next Thursday. We still expect you to do your normal chores. And now you two have a reason to work on that bedroom of yours. Plus I think your grandparents may need a little help next door with Thanksgiving.”

“But we helped this past weekend.” Vance stated. “We vacuumed and everything.”

“Well, we need something to keep you two out of trouble.” William replied.

“Actually dear, I had a thought about that.” Maggie said from the door. “I know you got some double shifts coming up this weekend. I have that appointment on Monday with that neurology Specialist in San Francisco. Maybe I could take them with me.” She suggested with a smile.

“Okay, that could work. You both want to go?” William asked his boys.

“Yeah!” Troy nodded and bounced on his bed. He was just happy at the thought of being with his mother for a day.

“I guess. Where all are you going?” Vance asked his mother.

“Well I got an eight AM appointment and I don't want to be up at four to make it in time. So I'll leave on Sunday and stay at your Aunt Shelly's.”

“Aunt Shelly and Uncle Frank?” He asked. “Yeah, I'll go.”

Troy smiled. He liked Aunt Shelly and Uncle Frank, although they weren't really related. Aunt Shelly had gone through high school with his mother. They had know each other for longer then she had been married. A stay at their house meant junk food, as Uncle Frank had a weakness for it. It did come with the down side that Aunt Shelly liked to keep her house very tidy. There was no running around inside, no eating away from the table. But it still didn't matter. They were good people. And they had an Atari and a computer with games.

Then he had a thought. One reason he rarely left his Grandmothers backyard was because he'd be seen. No one knew him there, except his Aunt and Uncle. But for the drive down, they'd be passing strangers. So he had the chance that he could go as Tracy and change in...of all places....The town Tracy. It was near Livermore, where his Aunt and Uncle lived. He could leave the house as Tracy, Change in the town Tracy. Then while in San Francisco, he could be Tracy again. No one would know him, no one would bug him. Of course he'd be stuck in Troy mode while at his Aunt and Uncle's place.

“Tell you what.” William smiled at them. “You two made me proud today by sticking up for each other and doing the right thing. I know I've not been that good of a father, but I want to make it up to you.” He looked to his wife. “See if Shelly would let you come up Friday night. Spend the weekend and hit the malls or something. Go and have fun. Head back after your appointment on Monday.”

She nodded and turned to head into the kitchen. “She said yes when I called her after talking to you at work.”

The boys sat there, trying to figure out what happened. “Wait.” Vance said. “You mean...You mean you already talked about this?” He asked.

“Yep.” William replied with a smile. “She stopped by work after dropping you two off here.”

“I...We...” Vance looked at his brother. “We thought you were mad at us.”

“At first I was.” William said as he gestured for his boys to head for the kitchen. “Then she explained what happened. I was mad at the school and I called the Principal, but he said the matter was in the school boards hands and with the holiday they wouldn't be there till at least Monday and we wouldn't be seen till Tuesday. Kind of pointless to fight it then.”

Vance started to set the table and Troy began pouring cups of tea. “So you weren't mad at us. At all?” Vance asked.

“No. If I was, you wouldn't be going to the Bay Area.” William replied as he took his seat. “But like I said, don't make this a habit. Tomorrow I still expect you two to do the dishes after Thanksgiving diner and make sure what ever chores you have with your grandparents are either done before you leave, or get done on your return.”

“Yes Dad.” Both boys replied again.

“And after dinner and dishes tonight I'd like to get some fire wood inside, before it gets too cold at night.” William said. “So could you help Vance with the dishes Troy?”

That was the one down side to their house, in Troy's eyes. There was no air conditioning or heat. They had a large evaporative cooler in the window. And in the winter they relied on an old wood burning stove. With winter getting close they were stock piling wood in a shed outside and moving a lot inside to be ready.

“Okay Dad.” The little boy replied.

Maggie put the lasagna on the table and the boys took their seats against the wall. “Well then Boys...” William stated. “Let's eat.”

“And you're worried that you're doing something that may hurt him later?” Shelly asked.

“Yeah.” Maggie choked on her reply. She wanted to help her son, but this had been a growing fear. She didn't want him being a mental wreck in the future, something he could blame on her.

“I see. Does he do it because he wants to be a girl? Or does he get some form of enjoyment out of the dresses? Maybe sexual pleasure.”

“He's only eleven. He doesn't even know about that yet.” Maggie groaned. “At least I hope he doesn't. I'm not ready for my baby to grow up that soon.”

This is one of the first chapters that will focus on a different character. Namely Maggie, Troy's mother. Troy is shown, but I felt like bringing in Maggie to hear her side of the story.

November 25th 1982
Northern California

Maggie stepped out of her mother-in-laws house and headed back to her own. She wanted to place a call before her boys or husband came over. She needed privacy, even though the call would be about one of them. She was stopped at the front gate as her youngest son came racing out of the house to stop her.

“Mom!” Troy called out, almost tripping on the steps. He managed to find his footing and kept jogging to her. “Mom, can I ask you a question?” He began to bounce in one place, waiting very impatiently.

“Sure kiddo, what's up?” Maggie asked him, trying not to laugh at his excitement.

He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “I...I was wondering.” He looked back at the house and made sure no one was outside. “I was wondering if Tracy could ride down tomorrow? At least until the Town of Tracy?” He did his best puppy dog eye look and waited again.

“I don't see why not. You want to be Tracy while your down there?” She asked.

“Maybe at the Presidio and in San Francisco?” He began to smile.

“But you don't like to leave the house here, why there?” She raised one eyebrow, genuinely curious.

“Because, no one knows Troy there.” He replied.

“What about your Aunt and Uncle?”

His enthusiasm died off a bit. His voice was almost a mumble as he spoke again. “I'll be Troy there.” Then he perked up again. “but when we take off we could stop in Dublin, then I'm Tracy, till we come home.”

“I don't see why not. Your dad will be gone when we leave, so you can shower and leave the house as Tracy.” She said,

“Cool.” He heard the door open and he turned to see his brother looking out at him.

“You took the drying towel.” Vance called to him. “I can't finish without you.”

Troy looked at his hands and saw that his brother was right. Maggie laughed. “You better get back in there and save me a slice of pie, I'll be back in a few minutes.”

“Okay Mom.” Troy hugged her, then ran back for the house.

Maggie continued on to her house. She took a seat in William's chair, which had the phone by it and then dialed Shelly's number. She waited while it rang, twirling the phone cord with one finger.

A happy voice answered the call. “Happy Thanksgiving. Cooper Residence, Shelly speaking.” In the background Maggie could hear talking.

Maggie smiled at that. Her friend was always big into the holidays, even though most of her family were either gone, or on the other side of the country, so she usually had friends over who were in the same boat. “Shelly, this is Maggie.”

“Maggie!” Shelly exclaimed. “It's not bad news is it? I mean you just called yesterday. Not that I object from a call today.”

Maggie almost sighed, but instead she let out a laugh. “Not bad news at all. I just wanted to let you in on a few things.”

“Dare I ask?” The other woman said.

“Look, well...maybe...actually I need some advice on things. It's....It's about Troy.” Shelly could hear the uncertainty in her friends voice.

There was sound of movement, then it went quiet and Shelly spoke again. “There, sorry I got away from the crowd.” She said. “Whats wrong with Troy?”

Maggie sighed. “I don't know how to say this.”

“Start from the beginning. We can work through the issue together.” Shelly replied.

“Okay.” Maggie settled back in the chair. She took a few breaths to both calm the nerves and summon her courage. “I've had suspicions that Troy was wearing my clothes for a while. Back in August, Modine found him in a skirt. Since then we've let him wear girls clothes, but only when he was at Modine's and when Conner wasn’t home.”

“I see.” Shelly said. “Does anyone else know? Like William and Vance?”

“Vance knows. He almost caused some problems a week or so back, but he seems to be getting better.” Maggie said. “William doesn't know yet. Neither does Conner.”

“And you're afraid of what they'll do when they find out?” Shelly asked.

“Well That too. I'm just not sure what to do. Do I let him keep wearing the girls clothes?” Maggie shook her head and sighed again. “We bought him his own girl clothes, stuff that fits him.”

“And you're worried that you're doing something that may hurt him later?” Shelly asked.

“Yeah.” Maggie choked on her reply. She wanted to help her son, but this had been a growing fear. She didn't want him being a mental wreck in the future, something he could blame on her.

“I see. Does he do it because he wants to be a girl? Or does he get some form of enjoyment out of the dresses? Maybe sexual pleasure.”

“He's only eleven. He doesn't even know about that yet.” Maggie groaned. “At least I hope he doesn't. I'm not ready for my baby to grow up that soon.”

“It'll happen soon Maggie, no matter how much you don't want it to happen.” Shelly said. “So has he told you why he does it?”

“He said he does it as a relief. When he's Tracy, he doesn't have the problems that Troy does. There's no Vance, or William or Conner. Just Tracy, Modine and Me.”

“I see. So it's a release, like a role he plays to relax.” Shelly tried to work it out slowly.

“In a sense. But his friend noticed that he's happier as Tracy. I've seen it, so has Modine.” Maggie said. “But he's afraid to go outside, in case people see him.”

“I can understand that. It's a scary world out there.”

“There's more Shelly.” Maggie sat forward, looking at the clock, making sure she hadn't been gone too long. “He wants to go tomorrow as Tracy.”

“So I should expect to see your daughter tomorrow?” Shelly asked. There was no harsh tones in her voice, but a sense of joy.

“I don't know.” Maggie replied. “She wants to leave the house, but she's willing to change into Troy when we get to Tracy...well Tracy the town.”

Shelly gave a slight laugh. “Maggie, what do you think of Tracy? The girl I mean?”

“Well she's well mannered, friendly, fun. She's taken over the cooking here in the house. She's been doing the house work too. She's been a breath of fresh air.” Maggie stated.

“Maggs? You hear what your saying?” Shelly asked. “You've referred to your youngest as a she.”

Maggie leaned forward, shaking her head. “Maybe a part of me enjoys having a daughter. It's the one thing that I've always regretted, no daughters and now I have one.”

“Tell you what. What if you could talk her into being Tracy when she's here? I know Frank won't mind, hell his brother is gay and Tracy isn't the first Transsexual we've met.”

Maggie thought about it for a moment. “Well, I can ask her, but I'm not too sure she'll go for it.”

“Offer it to her, if not we can offer when she's here.” Shelly said. Maggie could hear a light tapping noise over the phone, then a hushed voice, then Shelly spoke up again. “Maggs, I got to let you go, they need me back in the party. But let me stress one thing, okay?”

“Sure.” Maggie replied.

“No matter what, that child is the same one you've raised. Don't start thinking you did something wrong. All the lessons of right and wrong? All the times you've tucked him or her in at night, that is all the same child.” Shelly paused for a minute. “There is nothing wrong or sick about him. He's just different, just like the rest of us. But the best part, is he gets to discover himself or herself and you get to be there with her, or him. Understand?”

“I think so.” Maggie answered.

“Look, I do need to get moving. We can talk more tomorrow when you get here.”

“Okay. Thank you Shelly.”

“You're welcome Maggie and Happy Thanksgiving.” Shelly said.

“You too Shelly. Give my love to Frank.” Maggie said before she hung up the phone. She sat there for a moment, thinking about the possibilities. She stood up, seeing how she had been gone just under eight minutes and she went out the front door. She came to a halt as she saw her husband leaning against the back of her car.

“William.” She was slightly stunned that he was there and now slightly worried. “Everything okay?”

“I came over to get my pennies. Dad wants to play pinochle tonight after we have pie. Not that I'm surprised, it's almost tradition.” He tried to smile. It was the one thing that William, his brother and his father did at each holiday that the family got together. The three of them would sit down for a game of pinochle. They often put money on the game, but only pennies. “I would have come in, but you were on the phone.”

"Why not?" She raised an eyebrow. “You live here too. You've heard me on the phone before.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I never could lie to you, could I?”

“Not really.” She answered with a smile. “So tell me what's going on.”

He gestured to the door. “I heard you through the door.”

Here is another cliff hanger. I didn't want it turning out to be a killer to read. So coming soon, the thrilling conclusion....what will William do???

A frown appeared on William's face. His voice was a whisper again. “I have been pretty bad to him, Vance too. Hell, I'd be surprised if he doesn't hate me by now.”

“He loves you. He's just afraid that you'd punish him for this.” Maggie said.

“A few months back, before mom called me on it at her place, I would have. But I'm trying to get better.” He squeezed his wife once more. “So, no letting on that I know. I think I can do that.”

November 25th 1982
Northern California

Continued:

He gestured to the door. “I heard you through the door.”

Maggie's stomach dropped and her smile faded but she did her best to not look worried. “What...what did you hear?”

When he spoke, his voice was quiet. “I heard you talking about Troy. Something about him being....Tracy. About him being like a daughter to you? I think that's what you were meaning. I'm not sure.” He looked at his wife, yet she couldn't figure out which emotion he wore on his face. “Tell me the truth Maggie. What's going on with our son? Is he gay? Or is it something like that?”

There was a few moments of silence while she tired to figure out what to say. “It's Something like that.” She replied, her head drooping a bit. She knew it was pointless to lie. But something in William seemed different. A year ago, or even month ago, he would have stormed in, demanding to know what was going on, then he would have just gone straight to Troy and made the boy change his ways. But he was asking questions and that was good. “He's....I don't know. He's....” A thought occurred to her and she looked up at her husband. “What are your thoughts about him, right now? Honest thoughts, just tell them to me.”

He let out a long breath of air, gathering his thoughts on Troy. “Till I heard that, I thought he was just a bit weak, you know, like a push over, even with his fighting thing he takes. But now, I can't stop thinking maybe he's gay. Part of me is disappointed in him for wanting to dress as a girl you know, being a sissy. Another part is angry at myself for not being a better role model for him.”

“What do you mean?” She asked. “How did you fail him as a role model?”

“I tried to raise him right. You know, good and bad and all that. How to be a man. Stuff like that.” William shrugged.

“You think what he's doing is bad?” She asked.

“Well....yeah.” He said. “I mean I guess...I don't know. It's just that we've always been taught that gays are bad, you know, evil.”

Maggie nodded. “And that was usually close minded church people who can't practice what they preach.”

“I guess.” William replied.

She sighed and shook her head. “William, recall the last time we went to a church? Just before you took us out of it? There were those two women who shared a house and the church turned against them, just because they shared a home? They weren't even a couple.” Maggie leaned against the car. “They all called them evil, hell, one of the people at the front of that self-righteous mob was an adulterer. Then there was the guy who stole from the church treasury. That's two of the ten commandments. Troy hasn't broken any, well other then the no lies one but who can honestly say they never broke that. He's pushed the honor they father and mother but all kids do, but he does listen. Hell, he's better then Vance is half the time.”

Maggie turned to face him. “A day ago you said you were proud of him, for letting people know someone was stealing. Were you telling the truth?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He said with a nod.

“And he's been good to your mother and father, plus with us. He's also picked up a lot of extra work around the house to help out. You said you were proud about that too, right?” Maggie began to smile as she thought about what Shelly had said. Troy and Tracy were the same person. So no matter what he wore, the core was the same loving child.

William nodded. “Yeah, I....”

Maggie had to make him see. He was still talking, not yelling, so there was a chance. She cut him off before he could continue. “And something you didn't know. He's been wearing girls clothes for a long time now. Maybe years, I only got proof in August.” She took one of his hands in hers. “He's a good kid, always has been. What we see on the outside? That's just window dressing. As you always told them when they were younger, it's what's on the inside that counts. Did you mean that?”

William nodded. She was right, he had often used the argument about what's on the inside with his kids. He put his arms around his wife, and pulled her close. He thought about it for a moment. Maybe there really was something to it. “You're right. But what do we do?”

“I'm not sure. I just know that inside that beautiful child beats a heart of gold. Troy or Tracy, it doesn't matter. What matters is his or her actions.” She replied, putting her head against William's chest. “But I'll talk to Shelly about this. They know people like Troy and they know a lot of psychologists. Maybe we can get one of them to help us find him some help up here. But for now, he'll need both his parents.”

“Should we be allowing this?” William asked.

“I don't know, but think of this. In the past four months, he's been happier, more productive around the house and he's actually mended fences with his brother.” Maggie looked into his eyes. “Maybe he knows what he wants in life. Maybe he doesn't.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he says he does this as to relax, so he has none of Troy's worries. But the more he does it, the happier he gets. His self esteem seems to be getting better. Heck, he's more sure of himself, at least that’s what I see.”

“Should we talk to him?” William asked.

“Not yet. He's still worried about things. He's afraid that you'll not understand. He's afraid what you'll do when you find out.” Maggie stated.

A frown appeared on William's face. His voice was a whisper again. “I have been pretty bad to him, Vance too. Hell, I'd be surprised if he doesn't hate me by now.”

“He loves you. He's just afraid that you'd punish him for this.” Maggie said.

“A few months back, before mom called me on it at her place, I would have. But I'm trying to get better.” He squeezed his wife once more. “So, no letting on that I know. I think I can do that.”

“Also, no telling your father.”

“Figured on that one.” William smiled at her. He leaned closer and kissed her gently. “I'll follow your lead on this.”

“Thank you William.” She kissed him back.

“Come on. I need to grab my pennies and we need to get back before they send the search parties.” He said with a laugh.

“I'll meet you over there. I'll save you a slice of the apple pie.” She said as he let her go and began moving to the door.

“Thanks Maggie.” He opened the door and stopped before he stepped in. “And thank you for telling me too.”

~o~O~o~

William woke up a few minutes before his alarm went off. He had barely slept the night before. He sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments, thinking about what he had learned the night before. Since he had talked to his wife his focus was shot. He couldn't concentrate on his card game with his brother and father. Then he had rolled through the night, trying to think about what he should do.

His youngest child was pulling bacon from the frying pan as he came into the kitchen. The young boy was wearing a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt. He watched as Troy cracked a couple of eggs into the pan and then reached over to the coffee pot to fill a cup for his father. He handed it to his father, handle first.

“Thanks Son. You know you didn't have to do this.” William said before taking a sip, then moving to the toaster. The least he could do was make toast as his child made him breakfast. He wanted to ask his son about what he was feeling. About anything that was going on. He felt so helpless. His child needed help, at least he thought so but he promised Maggie.

Troy watched his skillet as his father began making toast. “I know. It's just you got a long day and I wanted to help you have a good day.”

“Any time I get to see my family is a great day.” William leaned over to hug his son. “Especially when it's my children who make me proud.”

Troy looked at him and smiled. Then he turned to get in the fridge. As he turned and squatted down to reach in the back of the fridge, his father saw his shirt ride up, showing a pair of pink panties with yellow flowers on them. William turned to face the toaster again, not wanting Troy to know he had seen.

William still didn't know what to do. The thought of his son wanting to be a girl wasn't something he understood. He needed advice, but he wasn't sure of who he could turn to. He knew his father’s response would be something like “beat it out of him.” Or some other way to make him a man. He stared at the toaster, deep in thought.

Troy stood up with, holding a melon and he put it on a cutting board. He gave his father a quick glance and asked. “Hey Dad.” He said, pulling a knife from the cutting block. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I guess.” William lied. “Just not really looking forward to work today, but at least it's Christmas money.”

“Cool.” Troy smiled.

He stopped cutting the melon long enough to remove the two eggs from the pan onto a plate that sat on the counter. He moved it to the table for his dad. “Hey, thanks for letting us go to the Bay Area.” Troy said.

“Well have fun, but be good for your Aunt and Uncle. And I meant what I said, no getting in fights just to get out of school.” He gave a light laugh. He thought about it, Maggie had a point. His boy was wearing girls clothes, but he had still done what was right. Some how he had managed to help out his brother. He wasn't sure if him dressing up was going to make him gay, but he still love his child and his wife was right. Either Tracy or Troy, both would need their father.

“You going to eat anything?” William asked his son.

“Maybe in a bit. I figure I could wait till Mom and Vance are up, then I'd make ours.” He replied as he poured a glass of juice, then took a seat at the table. “I'm sure he doesn't want to get up till noon anyway.”

“He is like that, isn't he?” William laughed quietly before taking a bite.

“Except Christmas.” Troy answered.

“You're not innocent there either, young man. I still recall getting up one morning when you were six or seven and you were playing with the wrapped boxes under the tree.”

Troy smiled at the memory. “Just once.”

“Four times.” William corrected him, holding up four fingers. “One time I recall you were found using one of your brothers presents as a pillow.”

Troy chuckled at the memory. “That wasn't the best pillow, either.”

William smiled at his son, then he put his fork down. He sighed and his smile faded. “You know Troy, I really dropped the ball with you two. I've been so busy pushing you to be like I was when I was a kid, but your nothing like me. You and Vance are so different. And I am so proud of both of you.” He wiped at his eye before a tear could show.

“Thank you Dad.” Troy replied.

William reached across the table and touched his son's hand. He had promised not to say anything to Troy, but he had one option. “I know I haven't been the best person to talk to, but I'm trying. So if there is anything you ever need to talk about, and you feel like sharing with me, I'd be honored to listen.

Troy froze for a moment, his mind racing to recall any time that his father could have seen anything. Then a voice of reason seemed to speak in his mind. “He's trying. Maybe we should meet him halfway.”

“I will Dad.” He replied, but he had looked down as he spoke.

Before his father could say anything else, Maggie came into the kitchen, wearing a flannel nightgown. “You made your father breakfast?” She asked her youngest.

“Yep.” He smiled up at her. "I'll make some for you if you want.”

She bent down and kissed Troy's cheek. “I'd like that but you don't have too.” She said as moved to kiss her husband. “You're almost running late.” She said, looking to a clock on the wall.

William turned and looked at the clock. “Crap.” He turned and took a few hurried bites, finishing off the plate. He stood up and hugged his wife. “Drive safe.” He told her.

“I will.” She replied.

William stopped by his son, long enough to ruffle Troy's hair which was getting longer then he normally allowed. “You be good and I'll see you both on Monday.”

“Bye Dad.” Troy watched his father head to the living room to get the stuff he needed for work, then he was out the door. He was silent for a few moments, then his mother reached over and touched his cheek.

“Hey, you okay?” She asked.

Troy nodded. “Yeah. Just thinking.” He replied.

“About what?”

“I'm just wondering if I should ever tell Dad about Tracy.” He looked at his mother. “I'm just wondering if he knows.”

Maggie raised an eyebrow. “Why do you think that?”

“Last night at Grandma's, he kept watching me while he played cards. He always looked like something was on his mind. Then this morning, right before you came in he said I could tell him anything.”

Maggie nodded as she thought about it. She was wondering how close he got to telling Troy what he knew. “Do you want to tell him?”

Troy bit his lower lip. “I don't know. What if he kicks me out of the house?”

“He won't kick you out of the house. You can trust me on that.” Maggie gave him a comforting smile. “But sweetie, only tell him when you're ready.”

Troy thought about it, then he got up to start making her breakfast. “Yeah. What if he finds out something?”

“Then we deal with it then. No point in worrying about the future.” Maggie got up to get a cup of coffee. “But I think he loves you so much, that when you talk to him and tell him how you feel, he'll be your biggest supporter.”

Troy looked at her. The look he gave her showed he didn't believe her. “Really?” He asked.

“Sweetie, he loves you. There are ways we can get him to see that your the same child he's known all these years.”

Troy stopped as he was about to crack an egg open. “Do we have to tell him soon?”

“No sweetie, you make the time table here. This is about your comfort, okay?” She stopped at his side long enough to hug him.

“Okay Mom.” He said while nodding. “I'll think about it.”

“That's all anyone can ask.” Maggie replied.

Over the next few posts, I'll be switching view points from Maggie Shelly and Frank, to William and then Tracy... and who knows, maybe I'll throw Vance in there too. But this is all helping to build Troy's story.

“So no Tracy?” Shelly asked.

“No, and I told her it'd be okay.” Maggie sighed.

“It that why he was so glum?” Shelly glanced to the door, making sure it was still shut.

Maggie nodded. “Tracy was so lively on the way down here. I think she talked from home to Tracy, the town, where she changed. Once she changed, Troy was miserable.” She shook her head. “Maybe I shouldn't have let her be Tracy for the ride.”

November 26th 1982
Northern California/Livermore California

Maggie and her children had left just past nine. She had dressed for comfort, as did Vance, both of them in jeans and a t-shirt. Tracy was in a dark blue skirt and a white shirt. Tracy had packed two bags, one of Troy's clothes and one with Tracy's that she had pulled from her grandmothers house. Currently the young girl sat in the backseat. Vance had taken over the passenger seat. He had made the deal with Tracy that he could drive to Livermore and then to San Francisco in the front seat, but she got the front seat all the way home on Monday.

For the trip so far, the young girl had talked, non-stop. Vance was nose deep in a book, trying to ignore her rambling. “And I was thinking maybe we could try that for dinner on Tuesday, what do you think?” Tracy looked at the mirror, smiling at her mother.

Maggie smiled back. “I think that's a good idea.” She looked back to the road. “Kiddo, you still want to change back? If so we need to pull over at the next off ramp.”

“Can we?” Tracy's smile faltered. Her shoulders slumped as she sat in her seat, a frown began to form on her lips. “Please?”

“Sure sweetie.” Maggie told her child. “You could wear that to Aunt Shelly's if you want.”

“No.” Tracy shook her head. Her voice was much quieter. “I should change back.”

“But do you want to?” Maggie asked. “I'm sure Shelly wont mind what you wear.”

“I better not.” Tracy replied. “Uncle Frank may not like it.”

“I don't think he'd care.” Maggie said, trying to be as subtle as possible. She didn't want to just openly say they knew, but they did.

“I'll just change.” Tracy said as she pulled her bag of Troy's clothes from the floorboards.

Maggie pulled off the highway and found the first gas station she could find. She looked at the building, then in the mirror at her child. “Kiddo, the bathroom is on the inside of the building.”

“What?” Tracy asked. She looked through the big windows of the store and saw her mother was right. “I can't change in there. People would see me.” Her breathing sped up.

“Baby.” Maggie put the car in park and turned to touch her daughters knee. “Relax. We can get you to change without going inside.”

“W...we can?” Tracy asked.

“Yeah. I'll pull up behind the building. You can change in the backseat. Just a quick change. You've changed at the beach and you had on less then underwear at one point.” Maggie said in that motherly tone that commanded respect and soothed at the same time.

Tracy looked at her for a moment, then in the bag of Troy clothes. “Okay.” She said as she pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt.

Fifteen minutes later they were back on the road, a much quieter Troy was now riding behind his brother. The next twenty miles passed in silence. Maggie kept looking back at her child, who just rode, staring at his hands that he held in his lap.

“You okay back there kiddo?” She asked. As they reached the outskirts of Livermore California. She pulled off the highway and headed for her friends house.

When Troy spoke, the joy that Tracy had in her voice was gone. He didn't look up at all. “Yeah mom.”

“I'm sorry Troy.” She said, before putting her full attention on the road.

Vance turned to look at his brother, who began to lay down on the back seat. The older brother looked at their mother and shrugged. “Is there anything we can do?” He asked her.

Maggie sighed. “I don't know.”

A few minutes later they pulled into the parking lot of a bunch of Townhouses. Troy waited for his mother to park before opening up the back door. He slid out with his bag of boy clothes, the skirt and blouse in a plastic bag. He hovered by the truck and as his mother opened it up, he reached over and stuffed the plastic bag into Tracy's bag.

Vance and his mother retrieved their bags and the three of them walked around the townhouses to the front door of Shelly and Frank's place. Troy stood behind them, his eyes focused on the ground. He wished he had the courage to have been Tracy here, but he knew that Frank and his Father were as close as his mother and Aunt Shelly were. He could only guess how fast his father would know.

Maggie rang the doorbell and a minute later the door opened up, showing a slightly chubby woman who was just under five foot tall. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she worn a simple floral print muumuu. “Maggie!” She stepped out and Maggie bent slightly at the knees so they could hug.

“Shelly!” Maggie stood up and smiled, then looked in the house. “Frank's not here?”

“He had some running around to do today.” Shelly said as Maggie moved slightly, allowing Vance to step up. “Hello Vance.” He bent slightly too, but less then his mother had.

“Aunt Shelly.” He gave her a smile as she kissed his cheek. It was the one thing that both boys liked about her. She may kiss their cheeks, but she never pinched their cheeks like some of their other relatives did.

Shelly stepped out to the glum looking boy at the end of the line. The two of them were about the same height. He was one of the few people that she was taller then. “Hello Troy.” She put her arms around him and kissed his cheek.

“Hello.” He replied, trying to muster some excitement in his voice, but he failed.

She noticed, but never said anything. “Well come on in.” She gestured to the door. “Vance? Can you and Troy take your bags to the Guest bedroom, the one your mother stays in? I'd like to talk to Maggie for a moment.”

“Sure.” Vance held out a hand as his mother offered him her bag. The two boys walked inside and went up the stairwell to the second floor. Shelly closed the front door and looked at Maggie.

“So no Tracy?” Shelly asked.

“No, and I told her it'd be okay.” Maggie sighed.

“It that why he was so glum?” Shelly glanced to the door, making sure it was still shut.

Maggie nodded. “Tracy was so lively on the way down here. I think she talked from home to Tracy, the town, where she changed. Once she changed, Troy was miserable.” She shook her head. “Maybe I shouldn't have let her be Tracy for the ride.”

“Why not?” Shelly shrugged. “Maybe he needed to be her for the ride to get his confidence. You know how many people like him are scared to even leave their homes?”

“But what do we do now? It's like someone flipped a switch when he got those jeans on.” Maggie wiped at her eyes before a tear could run down her cheek. “I....” She drew in a breath and shut her eyes for a moment. “I just want my baby happy.”

Shelly hugged her again. “Do you trust me?”

Maggie nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then let me try something. I'll play it by ear, but I got an idea.” Shelly gestured to the door. “Come on, lets get inside.”

~o~O~o~

It was late in the afternoon when Shelly and Maggie went up the stairs to the room that Troy and Vance were sharing. Both Maggie and Vance had been downstairs since they had arrived, but Troy had stayed upstairs. According to Vance he had been lying on the bed since he put his bag down, looking at the wall.

They went to the second guest bedroom and they saw Troy laying on his side, back to the door. Shelly walked into the room and touched his shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah.” He said without moving his head to look at her. “Just feeling blah.”

“I can understand. Everyone had bad days.” Shelly said as she sat on the edge of the bed. “You want to talk about it?”

He tired to shake his head, but as he was lying down, the movement was halted by the pillow. “Not really.”

“Baby, it's okay.” Maggie said. This caused Troy to roll over and look at his mother and aunt.

His Aunt put a hand on his shoulder. “I'm not going to lie to you. I never have before.” He made eye contact with her and she gave a comforting smile. “Your mother called me yesterday. She told me about what was going on.”

Troy looked at his mother, tears forming in his eyes. The anger came fast for the young child. “You told her? You said you wouldn't tell no one! You lied to me!” He rolled back over and faced the wall. “Just leave me alone.”

“Troy.” Shelly began to speak.

“Just leave me, please?” He made a sniffling sound as he lay there. He could feel her get up from the edge of the bad.

“No.” Shelly replied in a soft tone. “I want you to listen to what I have to say, then I'll leave you alone.” She was quiet for a moment, he didn't reply, so she continued. “I was hoping to see Tracy here this weekend. It's not that we don't want to see Troy, but I hear that my niece, Tracy, is a fun and friendly girl. Your mother told me because she trusts my judgment. If you're worried that I'll attack you for being Tracy, you're wrong. Frank won't either. His brother is gay and we both have friends like you.”

“I wanted to meet my niece. I even have some clothes that I feel Tracy may like.” Shelly said as she got up. “Just take a look in the closet in the other guest bedroom if you want. But mostly, just be who you want to be here. I want you happy, not mopey. We'll be downstairs if you want to join us.”

Shelly walked out of the room, gently shutting the door. As they got to the bottom step, Maggie spoke quietly. “Think she'll do it?”

“Who knows Maggs.” Shelly replied. “I mean it. I want her happy and right now, she's not.”

“It's all my fault.” Maggie shook her head. “I should have told her that you two were okay with this. I tried, but she was scared.”

“I just hope I didn't screw things up.” Shelly said as the two women took seats in the living room. Maggie took a love seat, Vance was leaned back in a chair, while Shelly had a couch to herself. They all sat there for a while, watching TV with Vance.

~o~O~o~

Half an hour later, they could hear movement in the upstairs bedroom, but neither women moved. Twenty minutes after that, Tracy made her way down the stairs. She had on a purple dress that had been in the closet. Her hair was pulled into pigtails and held there with purple hair scrunchies. Shelly looked over and nodded, giving her a big smile. She stopped at the bottom of the steps, Her mothers back was to her, so she draped her arms around her mothers neck and kissed her cheek. “I'm sorry Mama.” She whispered.

“Why?” Maggie turned her head to face the girl better.

“For getting mad.” Tracy replied.

“Honey, everyone get's mad.” Maggie said. “I can't fault you for that.”

“Thank you Mama.” She said.

“Well, let's see my niece.” Shelly turned from the TV, so did Vance. Tracy came around the loveseat and stopped, turning in a circle for them.

“Whoa, nice dress.” Vance replied.

Tracy smiled at him. “Thanks. It was in that closet.”

“I'm glad you came down.” Shelly said as Tracy moved closer. The little woman got off her couch and put her arms around her niece. “I know it may seem scary, but if you let fear control you, then you'll miss a whole world out there.”

“I guess.” Tracy replied.

“It's true.” Shelly replied. “Now do you think you'll be able to face your Uncle Frank?”

“Will he tell Dad?” Tracy bit her lower lip.

“No. I won't let him.” Shelly replied. Maggie stayed quiet. She had already informed Shelly about her talk with William, but Tracy still had no idea. “But he may have a surprise for you too, when he gets here.”

“Really?” Tracy looked wary. “Like what?”

“I'll wait, in case he couldn't get it.” Shelly said. “No point in getting your hopes up. But I need to make one thing perfectly clear. Will you listen to me?”

“Yeah.” Tracy shook her head.

“No, I mean really listen to me.” Shelly replied. “Listen and believe me.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment, then she replied. “Yeah, I'll listen.”

“And believe?”

Tracy smiled. “Yeah, I'll believe.”

“Here's what I got to say.” Shelly led Tracy to the couch and they sat down. She turned to face Tracy and she spoke clearly. “You are safe here. No one will attack you for being who you want to be in my house. If they do, I break their legs. Understand me?”

Tracy nodded. “Yes.”

“You don't need to hide when your Uncle comes home. You can be Tracy full time while your here. Do you want that? All the way till your almost home on Monday. Do you want that?” She asked, smiling as she did.”

Tracy's smile returned and got bright. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Shelly put a hand on Tracy's shoulder. “Now would you be willing to go out to eat with us while you're here?” Tracy's smile faded a bit, then Shelly spoke up again. “Remember, you're planning on going to Frisco like that. You'll be eating out with tons of strangers, walking with them and trust me young lady.” Shelly's smile widened. “You totally look like an eleven year old girl. No one will suspect.”

Tracy thought about it for a moment or two. She had planned to be Tracy, but hadn't planned on eating while in San Francisco. Then she remembered the trip down and stopping at a McDonald’s to use the bathroom. No one had questioned her there.

“Okay. I'll go.” She replied.

“Good. We're having Pizza tonight, but one of these nights, we'll be eating out.”

Tracy was about to reply when the sound of a key in the door lock hit her ears. She turned to face the door, going slightly pale. Shelly seen it and squeezed with the hand that rested on her shoulder. “Relax. It's going to be okay.”

A moment later A tall man, standing about six and a half feet tall walked in. Tracy knew some people found it funny that he was tall and thin and Shelly was short and chubby, but having known them all her life, she never cared. His hair was kept short and he never wore a beard of mustache. He had a large duffel bag over one shoulder and a couple boxes of pizza in his arms. He scanned the room, then moved to the table that sat near the kitchen entrance to set down the food and bag.

As he came back he offered a hand to Vance. “Young man.” He said as Vance looked up, smiled and shook it. “I got something to show you tomorrow.” The older man said with a big grin.

“Awesome.” Vance smiled at him, before turning his attention to the TV again.

Then he moved to Maggie. “Maggie, it's good to see you.” He gave her a light hug. When he let her go, he moved around the coffee table in the center of the room till he stood next to Tracy, who had begun to shake.

“And this must be my beautiful niece.” He bent down slightly and brushed a lock of hair from her face. “Can I get a hug young lady?” Tracy blushed as she slowly stood up and put her arms around him.

“Hello Uncle Frank.” Tracy said in a soft voice.

As he let her go, he dropped to one knee and smiled, looking her over. “Hello Tracy.”

“You pick up the other item?” Shelly asked, looking from him to the duffel bag, then back.

He pointed to the door. “Still outside.”

“What....what's outside?” Tracy asked as the door was pushed open.

“Yeah, I know that now. I was young and stupid and I messed up big.” Rachel said. “But I understand, at least I think I do.” She patted at the seat once more, this time Tracy sat down.

“How? I barely understand it. I...I just want to feel right.” Tracy said. “I used to think that being Tracy was a release, the chance to not be Troy.” She shook her head and looked at her feet. “Now....hell I hated the fact I felt that I needed to be Troy when I was here. I can't wait for the weekends where my Grandfather is out of town so Tracy can be out.” Her eyes misted up and she just sat there.

“Hey. No need for the tears.” Rachel slid closer and slipped an arm around Tracy.

Tracy leaned into Rachel. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“I do.” Rachel replied. This caused Tracy to look up at her. “You're finding yourself.”

November 26th 1982
Livermore California

The door opened all the way and two girls, one who looked slightly familiar to Tracy, came in. The familiar one was a bit taller then she was, but about her body size. She wore a black skirt and white top. Then Tracy recalled who she was. Rachel, Frank's youngest niece. It had been almost three years since the last time they had seen each other. The girl next to her had pale skin and bright red hair. She wore a pair of girls jeans with pink flowers on the front and back, a baggy floral shirt and a pair of glasses.

Tracy began to try and hide in the couch when Rachel saw her. She gasped and ran over to Tracy, looking her up and down. “I was right, you look so cute in that.” She squealed out. “Did you like it? The rest of the clothes I mean?”

Tracy looked slightly confused, so she turned to her Aunt. Shelly just smiled. “Rachel overheard me when I talked to your mother. Those clothes upstairs were hers. She brought them over this morning.”

“Oh.” Tracy replied.

Rachel smiled at her. “I thought you'd like them. They don't fit me too well anymore.” The girl took a seat next to Tracy and her friend moved closer into the room. “I was wondering if you'd like to hang out tonight, if you don't got anything going on that is.”

Tracy wasn't sure what to do. A part of her wanted to say yes. She had never been invited to hang out with the girls, not before. And most of the ones she knew wouldn't let her anyway. She looked to her mother who shrugged. “It's you choice. Well you, Shelly and Frank.”

“Oh We're fine with it.” Shelly said.

“Please say yes.” Rachel began to hop in place.

“I've never really hung out with a girl before.” Tracy admitted before biting her lower lip.

“That's not true.” Rachel said. “You've hung out with me and my sister, Jamie, before.”

Tracy turned to her Aunt, then leaned closer. “She...she knows about me?” The girl whispered.

“She did over hear.” Shelly whispered back, not that it mattered.

“I know, but I don't care. Remember, I met you before.” Rachel whispered into her ear. “But that wasn't the real you.” She leaned back and gestured to Tracy. “This is the real you.”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked. “I'm always the real me.”

Rachel gave a light chuckle. “No.....” She looked around the room, then at Tracy. “Can I talk to you alone? Outside really quick?”

Tracy looked unsure, but her mother was right there and she wanted to know what Rachel had meant. Plus if it gave her the chance to hang out with two girls, she'd do it. “Okay.” She replied. Rachel stood up and offered her a hand, then the two girls went out the sliding door to the patio, shutting the door behind them so they had privacy.

Rachel moved to the far end of the patio, aware that those inside were somewhat watching. She sat on a covered seat swing and patted the other side. “Thank you for wanting to listen.”

“It..it's no problem.” Tracy just stood there, questions galore running though her mind. “But what did you mean, that wasn't the real me?”

“You don't remember, do you?” Rachel asked, looking at her closely. She sighed, “Six or so years ago, when you, Vance my sister and I were playing in the park across the street from here? I remember you saying to me that you were a girl. I never really understood what was going on. I remember asking you about it three years ago, but you got mad at me.”

Tracy looked back in her memories, well, Troy's memories and there is was. Something she had done her best to forget about. Rachel had said something and Vance had heard. He had teased Troy for the next three weeks. But the more she though about it, the more she recalled being in a small park, swinging on a swing set and talking with Rachel. “I got mad because Vance heard and he teased me.”

“Yeah, I know that now. I was young and stupid and I messed up big.” Rachel said. “But I understand, at least I think I do.” She patted at the seat once more, this time Tracy sat down.

“How? I barely understand it. I...I just want to feel right.” Tracy said. “I used to think that being Tracy was a release, the chance to not be Troy.” She shook her head and looked at her feet. “Now....hell I hated the fact I felt that I thought I needed to be Troy when I was here. I can't wait for the weekends where my Grandfather is out of town so Tracy can be out.” Her eyes misted up and she just sat there.

“Hey. No need for the tears.” Rachel slid closer and slipped an arm around Tracy.

Tracy leaned into Rachel. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“I do.” Rachel replied. This caused Tracy to look up at her. “You're finding yourself.”

“I am?” She sniffled.

“I think so.” Rachel replied. “I want you to meet someone. Will you?”

“They wont make fun of me, will they?” Tracy asked.

“Not at all.” Rachel turned to face the large sliding glass window and she began waving till she caught her Uncle's attention.

He came over to the door and slid it open. “You two okay out here?”

“Yeah, could you send Sage out here?” Rachel asked.

“Yeah, we'll keep the pizza warm for you two, just don't take too long, I'm starving,” He gave them a smile before ducking back inside.

“He is the coolest Uncle ever.” Rachel said. Tracy just nodded.

The thin girl slid the door open and stepped out, shutting it behind her. “Hey.” She said as she walked over to them.

“Tracy, this is Sage.” Rachel gestured to the girl with them. “She's totally cool.”

“Sage?” Tracy raised one eyebrow.

“Not my choice. My parents were hippies in the sixties.” She laughed. “You should meet my brother Moonglow and my sister Andromeda, they got it worse. At least my name means wise.”

“Or an herb.” Tracy smiled.

“That too.” The girl nodded.

“Look, neither of us will judge you. I told Sage about you already Tracy. She's the one who helped me understand what the hell I did to you three years ago.” Rachel said, moving Tracy to the center of the seat of Sage could sit down.

“She...understands?” Tracy was confused. “How? I don't understand it myself.”

Sage reached for Tracy's hands and she held them. She wasn't sure she wanted to give her the full story, not without a lot of explaining. So she went with what Tracy knew. “I understand because I was born a boy too.”

Tracy looked closely at the other girl. She couldn't see it. “So...” She was at a loss for a moment, then her mind began working on the easy questions first. “Sage is your girls name?”

“Nope. I go by Sage if I'm a boy too.” She replied with a smile. “I've met a few other hippy kids and Sage can be either boy or girl name, so why change.”

“You got an easy one. I got stuck with Troy.” Tracy replied.

“Yeah. But you got to pick your real name, right?” Sage asked.

“No my parents....oh OH. You mean Tracy?” She asked, the other two girls nodded. “Yeah, I picked it.”

“See. You got an awesome name.” Sage smiled at her.

“So, you used to be a boy?” Tracy asked as more questions filtered from her mind.

“I'm different. Nothings been removed or changed yet. I just don't conform to one way of thinking.” Sage took a seat, but held one hand up and she tired to look smart or mystical. “Sage is who he, or she, wishes to be. I like to be on both sides of the fence. At least for now, till I choose.”

Tracy nodded as she thought about what she had said, some of it passing over her head. “I used to think that I only dressed like this to relax. But it's become more.”

“Like maybe, Tracy is who you should have been?” Sage asked.

“Yeah. See we stopped in Tracy...” The two other girls began to snicker. Tracy shook her head and smiled. “The town, and I changed back into Troy and I hated it. I didn't want to be in those clothes anymore.” Tracy replied.

“So then just be Tracy.” Sage replied. “Your mother knows. Seems like your brother is okay with it too.”

“Mom's been super cool. Vance...I don't know. He's been okay, but I'm waiting for him to hate me again.”

Sage nodded. “Brothers are like that.” She agreed.

“So what do you think? Can we hang out? Maybe a sleepover?” Rachel asked.

“You mean...You'd want to hang out with me? Even thought I'm not really a girl?” Tracy asked.

Sage held up a hand to stop Rachel. “Um, Tracy, there's two of us here born different. She's slept over at my place a lot. Heck, we got like three other friends who'd have been here tonight, but their out of town visiting relatives. So tonight it's just be us, three normal girls having fun.”

“Three...normal...” Tracy repeated and her eyes began to tear up even more. “I don't think any of the girls back home would even talk to me.”

Sage stood, then pulled her to her feet. Her arms wrapped around Tracy, Then Rachel stood and hugged Tracy from the other side. “Who cares about them. If they can't accept you, you don’t need 'em.” Sage stated. While they hugged the sound of a stomach gurgling broke the mood. The three girls began to snicker. “Okay, I think one of us needs to eat.” She said with a laugh.

The hug broke up and the three girls headed inside. Maggie and Vance were sitting at the table with Shelly. Frank was eating in the kitchen, hovering over the counter. “Everything better?” Maggie asked her daughter as the three girls took a seat. Tracy was still wiping at her eyes as she sat.

“Yeah.” She smiled at Sage and Rachel, then she looked at her mother and Aunt. “Can we have a sleepover?” She asked. She decided to play her best chance for getting it approved. “I've never had one before and they don't mind about the Troy thing.”

“I don't mind. In fact I expected it.” Shelly replied.

“Awesome possum.” Sage replied. This caused both Vance and Tracy to stare at her. She smiled at them. “What? I did say I have hippy parents.”

“So what are you three going to do?” Maggie asked.

“Well there's MTV, if Aunt Shelly don't mind.”

“I don't.” The shorter woman replied.

“Awesome.” Rachel said with a grin.

“What's MTV?” Tracy asked. Both Rachel and Sage's jaw dropped as both of them faced her.

“You're joking, right?” Rachel asked.

“The Cable music channel?” Sage prodded her.

“We don't have cable. We only have like two channels back at home.” Tracy blushed and held her head down in shame.

“That's okay. We'll introduce you to it tonight.” Rachel got up and opened up the duffel bag that lay close. She pulled out a bottle of pills, and opened it up. She removed one and then dropped the pills back in the bag. She moved it closer to the table as she took her medication. She noticed Tracy was watching her.

“Are you sick?” Tracy asked.

“Naw.” Rachel shook her head. “It's for my Epilepsy. I get Petit Mal seizures.”

“Oh, is that something I can get?” Tracy asked.

Rachel laughed. “Not unless you take part of my brain.”

“Sweetie, that's what I got, but I have the Grand Mal seizures.”

“Oooohhh. I forgot what that was called.” Then Tracy looked into the bag. “What's all's in there?”

Rachel pulled out a pink plastic box. “Makeup. If you're mother is okay, we can give each other makeovers.”

“As long as it can wash off.” Maggie replied. “I'm not a fan of girls under sixteen wearing makeup, but for this one night, I'll break that rule.”

“Thank you Mama.” Tracy said.

“I also got my Walkman and a bunch of tapes in here. I don't know what you listen to, but I got a lot of new stuff, like the Go-Go's and Cyndi Lauper.”

“Are they good?” Tracy asked.

Sage smiled. “They're great. You've never heard their music?”

“I...I kind of control the music at the house.” Maggie said. “I don't want them hearing bad influences.” And it was true. She controlled their television viewing too, to a point. Not that you had a lot of choice with just two channels.

“My mom's the same way.” Rachel replied. “She'll listen to a tape before I get to have it.”

“Well, then, I guess it's okay. But back home I'll still want to hear what your listening to.” Maggie said, looking to her daughter, then she looked at her son. “That goes for you as well. Let me hear it and we can discuss if I'll allow it.”

“Okay Mama.” Tracy answered again.

“Yeah.” Vance said as he stuffed a piece of pizza in his mouth.

An hour or two later Tracy sat on a stool in the bathroom. She wore a borrowed nightgown, having left all of her Tracy sleepwear back home. So she ended up with a tie-dyed T-shirt that went to just above her knees from Sage. The other two girls stood behind her, working on her hair while they gave her advice on the makeup.

“Remember, a little is a lot.” Sage said as she showed her how to apply the blush.

“Says the hippy girl.” Rachel replied.

“I'd rather have a little makeup on, then look like a clown.” The redhead stuck her tongue out to the mirror.

“So who all knows about Tracy?” Rachel asked, before sticking her tongue out at Sage.

“Well, Mom, Vance, my grandma, my best friend Peter.” Tracy counted off each person on her fingers. “Aunt Shelly and Uncle Frank, plus you two.”

“What does Peter think?” Sage asked. “Is he okay with it?”

“Yeah.” Tracy nodded. “He's been really cool about it.”

“What about your Grandma?”

“She helped Bring Tracy to life. She's been there for all the big problems.” Tracy replied.

Sage put a hand on Tracy's shoulder. “Wrong. She didn't bring Tracy to life, she just helped bring her out into the open.”

Tracy smiled. “Yeah. I see that now.”

Sage looked at her reflection and leaned in close. “You look pretty.”

Tracy's cheeks turned a deep red and she seemed to shrink in place. “Thanks.”

“Come on Vance. I got something to show you.” He stood up and led Vance through the kitchen to the garage. He shut the door to the kitchen and flipped on the light switch. There in the center of the garage was a large car shaped lump under a tarp. “Now I got a few rules involving this. No eating. And no sitting on it.”

With that, Frank pulled the trap off, revealing a light blue mid sixties muscle car. He folded the tarp up the best he could and put it in a corner. “This is my baby. A nineteen sixty five Pontiac GTO.” He gestured to the drivers door. “Go ahead. Hop on in.”

Vance stood there for a moment, mesmerized by the gleaming beauty. Then he slowly went to the drivers door and opened it up. “This is cool.” He said as he slid into the drivers seat.

This chapter will focus on the two Patterson kids. A mix of Vance an Tracy and the fun they have around the Livermore/Dublin areas

November 27th 1982
Livermore California

The sun peeked through the window of the room that Vance was to share with Tracy. He didn't want to get up, but the smell of bacon cooking made sure he wasn't getting any more sleep. He looked around, he noticed her bed was empty. Then he remembered the other two girls who had come over the evening before. He rolled out of the bed, adjusting his pajamas and he headed for the kitchen, planning to stop at the bathroom first.

He passed his Aunt's bedroom and he could hear his mother talking to his Aunt through the closed door, but he didn't stop to listen. As he made his way down the steps he could hear the two other girls talking with his sister. In the living room he could see a sleeping bag and a couple of blankets and pillows. His Uncle Frank sat in a chair, facing the TV, drinking coffee and occasionally looking at a newspaper. Vance waved at the older man and headed to the kitchen, stopping at the door as he saw the three girls taking up most of the kitchen.

All three were still in their nightgowns. Tracy was in front of the stove, still wearing the tie-dyed nightgown she had the night before. Closest to the kitchen door was Sage, who was also wearing a tie-dyed nightgown. She worked the toaster, pulling toast and buttering them, then starting more. On the other side of the tiny kitchen, Rachel was busy pulling eggs from the 'fridge, was in a bright pink nightgown.

“Hey Vance, you want something to drink?” Rachel asked. This caused the other two girls to look in his direction and smile. He was still older then them, but he began to consider an upside to this. If Tracy was to be around more often, that meant more girls in the house. He could handle that.

“Sure. Is there apple juice?” He asked.

“Yep.” Rachel pulled a cup from the cupboard and filled it, then passed it off to Sage, who handed it to him.

“Here ya go.” She said with a grin. He took the offered cup and went to the table. Sage peeked her head around the door frame. “Hey, Mr. Frank. Your foods up.”

“Ah, good.” Frank got up and went to the table. He sat across from Vance and put his coffee down. He knew better then to argue with three women.

“Can we put MTV back on?” Sage asked with a huge grin.

“For now. But when Shelly comes down, she may take over the TV.” He replied.

Sage brought out another plate and left it in front of Vance, then she went to the TV and switched the channel.

~o~O~o~

After the guys had finished their breakfast, Shelly and Maggie came down the steps. The two guys moved to the living room, leaving the kitchen table free for the girls. As they watched one of the early morning videos, Frank looked at Vance. “So, what's your plan for the day?”

“I don't know. Are you doing anything?” Vance asked.

“Well Shelly is taking your mother and the girls shopping. So I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with me.”

“Sure, doing what?” Vance asked.

“Come on Vance. I got something to show you.” He stood up and led Vance through the kitchen to the garage. He shut the door to the kitchen and flipped on the light switch. There in the center of the garage was a large car shaped lump under a tarp. “Now I got a few rules involving this. No eating. And no sitting on it.”

With that, Frank pulled the trap off, revealing a light blue mid sixties muscle car. He folded the tarp up the best he could and put it in a corner. “This is my baby. A nineteen sixty five Pontiac GTO.” He gestured to the drivers door. “Go ahead. Hop on in.”

Vance stood there for a moment, mesmerized by the gleaming beauty. Then he slowly went to the drivers door and opened it up. “This is cool.” He said as he slid into the drivers seat.

“I know. I had one of these a few years after they first came out. My Dad helped me get it. But back then I was a stupid kid and I wrecked it. So I found one some years back and for the past five years, I've been rebuilding it here in the garage.” Frank replied. “I figured you may want to cruise around today, plus there's a get together happening for one of the car clubs in town. I figured you'd want to do that, more then going shopping with your sister and Mother.”

“Yeah.” Vance replied as his fingers felt the steering wheel. “I'd like that. I hate shopping.”

“I hear ya.” Frank stood up. “Well then, you best go upstairs and get changed. Take a shower if you want, before the girls take the hot water. Grab a coat, in case it rains. We'll meet up with them for dinner.”

“Okay.” Vance replied, reluctantly getting out from behind the wheel. “Can I drive it later?” He said, smiling as big as he could.

“Ummmm. No. ” Frank looked at him and shook his head. “You're thirteen and you can't legally drive yet.”

“Awww.” And with that Vance headed back into the house.

~o~O~o~

The girls all piled into the back of Shelly's station wagon as a case of the cold feet hit Tracy for the tenth time in the past hour. “What if people know I'm not a girl?” She asked.

Sage chuckled. “Are you going to strip?”

“No.” Tracy said as her cheeks turned a deep red.

“Well then don't worry about it. I'm at the mall with Rachel a lot and no one knows about me.” The redhead replied.

“Yeah. It's going to be busy, so no one will care about just you, other then us.” Rachel replied. “Just remember to watch which restroom you go into.”

“Yeah. That would cause a little trouble.” Sage replied. “So you looking for anything?”

“Not really. I don't have too much money with me.” Tracy said. “I don't get my money for shopping till next week I think. Maybe the week after.”

Maggie turned from her seat to look at the three girls. “I may be willing to help you out if you find something. Then you can pay me back when you get your money.”

“Awesome!” Tracy beamed from the back seat.

“Remember, after we're done, we're catching up with your Uncle and Vance for dinner.” Her Aunt Shelly stated.

“When do you two have to go home?” Tracy looked to the two girls on either side of her.

Rachel frowned. “We begged our moms and Aunt Shelly to let us stay another night, but My mom said no.”

“Aw.” Tracy slumped in her seat.

Rachel smiled at her. “So I asked her if you could come over to our place. And she said yes. I even asked your mom while you were in the shower.”

“I can go?” Tracy leaned forward.

Maggie nodded. “Yes. You seemed to be having fun last night. So why not. Besides, this beats you moping in your room because all you have is Vance to hang out with.”

“Cool.” Tracy said again. “So when do we go over?” Tracy asked.

Shelly glanced into the rear-view mirror for a moment. “After dinner. We'll stop by my place and get your stuff and their stuff too. Tomorrow, Persephone, Sage's mom will have you back at my place after noon.”

“Wait, Sage's mother?” Tracy asked. “Why not Rachel's mom?”

“We got Church at eight. She's not going to make you go, but she won't let me miss it.” Rachel replied. "So when you get up, you can walk down the street to Sage's house."

“Oh.” Tracy frowned some more.

“Hey, it's not the last time we'll see you. You mother said the next time she comes, she'll try to bring you and maybe in the summer we can hang out too.” Rachel stated. “Besides, it's not like you live in New York, plus we can always call.”

“Or write.” Sage put a hand on her shoulder. “And you get to meet my mother. That will be fun.”

“Maybe next time we can get the rest of the group to meet you.” Rachel said.

“Are they fun, like you two?” Tracy looked from one girl, to the next.

“They're....” Sage thought about it for a moment. “They're interesting.”

~o~O~o~

“So what do you think?” Frank asked as he raced his classic muscle car down the highway, behind him were several others from the car club, all headed out for a drive. His nephew sat in the passenger seat, huge smile on his face. A car pulled up next to them, the driving honked till both Frank and Vance looked in his direction, then the man in the other car flashed them a thumbs up and slowly pulled away from them.

“This is awesome.” Vance replied. “You know that guy?”

“Not at all, but a lot of people love the older cars, that happens all the time. You should see the Friday night cruises in the summer.” Frank looked in his mirrors, then with a big grin, he dropped the car down a gear and stomped his foot to the floor. The engine roared and the car streaked forward, passing the man who had just passed them like he was standing still. Vance began to laugh wildly in the passenger seat. Frank shifted into the next gear and merged lanes. Behind them, a few of the others took up the chase.

“This is so much better then shopping!” Vance exclaimed.

“Isn’t it!” Frank waited a couple of miles till he took his foot off the gas and headed for the off ramp. “Hey, you hungry?” He asked as they slowed down for a traffic light.

“Yeah. But I thought you said no eating in the car?” Vance replied.

“We'll eat outside. I know a great hotdog place.” Frank said, headed into the town of Dublin. As they got to a red light, one of the other cars, a thirty two coupe pulled up along side and Frank rolled down the window. “Hey, the kid is hungry. Want to grab a bite?”

“Caspers?” The man in the other car asked.

“Yeah.” Frank and Vance watched as the man in the other car turned and called out to the car behind him. Word spread through out their convoy.

Frank looked to Vance. “Better then a phone.” He joked. “Wait till you see what happens when we stop.”

“What will happen?” Vance asked.

“You'll see.” Frank smiled as they pulled into the lot and backed into a parking space near the road. The other cars slowly pulled in and copied them. It was getting a bit windy as Vance and Frank got out of the car, so the teen pulled his windbreaker out and threw it on. They went in and ordered, then as they got their food, they all took up a spot outside, near their cars. People passing by began pulling in at the last second and soon a large group was looking over all of the old muscle cars.

After a while Frank pulled Vance away from the crowd. They sat at a picnic table where they could still see the cars. “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about all of this.”

“The cars?” Vance smiled as he watched the crowds.

“No, the whole thing with your...” Frank wasn't sure how to call his sibling. “Well with Tracy and Troy.”

“Oh.” Vance lost his smile. “I...don't know.”

“You don't know what?” Uncle Frank asked.

Vance sighed. “A part of me doesn't care. If he wants to wear a dress, let him. But Mom and Grandma seem to care for him more then me. They let him get away with more.”

“Do they? I hear he's doing more around the house. Are you doing much in the fields for the winter?”

Vance looked down. “Not really.”

“I don't think they love him more then you. But the situation that he or she is in is a bit harder then your life. So yeah, they may dote on him more. But don't think they hate you.” Frank replied. “Have you seen any good things about her being Tracy?”

“Well if he...I mean she gets more girl friends, that would be cool to have girls at the house.” Vance smiled. “That Sage was cute.”

Frank raised an eyebrow, but let his next comment slide. He knew the truth about the redhead, but he wasn't sure that it was to be public knowledge. “I guess so.” He smiled. “Have you thought about the benefits to her staying Tracy?”

“Like more girls at the house?” Vance asked.

“No, like her becoming more confident? More of her own person. A sister who'd love you?” Frank offered.

“I haven't really thought about that.” The teen shook his head. “A part of me just isn't sure, you know?”

“Yeah. I know.” Frank put a hand on Vance's shoulder. “Your brother...sister...” He took a deep breath. “From what your mother and Aunt told me this morning, Tracy may be around a lot more. She's finding herself and she may need her brother in the years to come.”

“What do you mean?” Vance asked.

“Simple. She's going to have a tough time as she grows. She'll need all of us to help her find herself.” Frank replied. “Tell you what, I'll let you think about what I've said. We'll talk more tomorrow, while we're driving.”

“Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?” Vance asked.

“I got a friend that has season tickets to the Forty Niner's. They play New Orleans tomorrow.”

“Really? I get to go to a game?!? At Candlestick?!?” Vance slowly stood up, a shocked look on his face.

“Yep.” Frank stated. “Come on kiddo. Let's get going. We can cruise a bit more, if that's okay with you.”

“Yeah.” Vance stood up and straightened his coat. “I'd like that.”

As they walked to the car, Frank cast a glance at him "Oh and if your aunt and mother ask, I never broke the speed limit once. Got it?" He gave the teen a conspiratorial grin.

Vance smiled back. He knew the trouble Uncle Frank would be in, then he'd never get to ride in the car again. "Right. Safe all the way here." He stated.

William woke up around seven on Sunday morning to a quiet house. He went through the usual morning routine. Bathroom, breakfast and he was now sitting in front of the TV, feeling slightly unnerved from the silence his house had. He needed to talk to his wife and son. But they were no where around.

He sat there for what felt like an eternity, till he finally stood up and got dressed. A few minutes later he was standing on the porch to his parents house. He knocked, unsure if his parents were awake. He waited for a minute and was about to leave when the door opened up. His mother looked out at him and smiled. “Hello Son.”

“Hey Mom.” He replied, slumping his shoulders as he did.

“Everything okay?” She asked. She knew that Maggie had told him about Tracy. So she knew the battle he was having in his mind, at least she thought she knew.

“Nah. I....” He sighed. “I don't know. But I was going to see if you could have Dad keep an eye on my place. I need to talk to Maggie and Troy and they're in Livermore.”

As promised, a little time with William and a glimpse at Modines house.

November 27 1982
Northern California

William wasn't sure how he made it through his double shift, much less his second one in two days. Through out the day his thoughts remained on his youngest son. He wasn't sure what to do, or if he should do anything at all. If he went with how he was raised, he'd take to using the belt to straighten the child out. Back in the early sixties boys didn't wear dresses, not without consequences. If he had done it, his father would have beat him, or sent him to an asylum to get straightened out. Or he would have just left the kid to his own devices against the other boys his age.

Maggie and Modine had taken the time, on several occasions now, to remind him that it wasn't the sixties. Things were different. So he was willing to let Maggie take the reins on this. She seemed to have a plan. But to him, the plan was moving too slow for his tastes.

He was headed for the office of the mill to clock out. It had been a long tiring day. He just wanted to go home and sleep, but he knew he'd end up thinking about his son again. He was just to the door when a thin man came jogging up. His hair was white, what hair was left. Time had been kind to his features. He was one of the few bosses that most of the regular workers actually liked. “Hey Will.” He slowed his pace till he fell into step with William. “Can I have a word.”

“Yeah Steven, what's up?” Will asked without stopping.

“That was going to be my question.” He gestured Will to step into an office. As he shut the door, Will leaned against the wall. “Are you okay? You've been out of it for the past two days. Hell, you almost cause several accidents in the past five hours. So what's happening?” He crossed the room and sat on the edge of his desk.

William sighed. “Trouble at home.” He said. “Been trying to think things through.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Steve asked.

“I don't even know what I can do.” Will replied.

“Look, I can't have you in a forklift like this. It's nothing personal, but I just can't let you do it.” Steven drummed his fingers on the desk. “You still got some sick time, right?”

“I haven't taken a sick day in well over ten years.” Will replied.

“Take one, please.” Steve suggested. “You still have Monday and Tuesday off, this gives you three days to talk to your wife, or the kids, whoever is causing the problem. Then you can come back on Wednesday.”

“Steve, it was just today...” William began, but his supervisor cut him off.

“Yesterday too.” Steven pointed out. “Look, I'm begging. Take the day off. It's not going to kill you. But the way you're headed, someone will get hurt. You're a great worker and a good man. But even good men get to have bad days.”

“Yeah.” William sighed.

“How much sleep did you get last night? Thursday night?” Steven asked.

“Not much, just kept tossing and turning.”

Steven nodded. “Then it's settled. Go home, get some sleep, don't come in tomorrow. You do and I send you home. Talk to the wife and kids, get some peace. Okay?”

William nodded. He didn't want to complicate matters and tell his boss that it wouldn't be possible till Tuesday, so he just stood up and held out a hand. “Thanks.” Steve shook it and smiled warmly at him.

“No problem. I'll put you down for a sick day now.” Steven turned to his desk and pulled out a white sheet of paper and began writing. “Go on home and find your head.”

~o~O~o~

November 28th 1982

William woke up around seven on Sunday morning to a quiet house. He went through the usual morning routine. Bathroom, breakfast and he was now sitting in front of the TV, feeling slightly unnerved from the silence his house had. He needed to talk to his wife and son. But they were no where around.

He sat there for what felt like an eternity, till he finally stood up and got dressed. A few minutes later he was standing on the porch to his parents house. He knocked, unsure if his parents were awake. He waited for a minute and was about to leave when the door opened up. His mother looked out at him and smiled. “Hello Son.”

“Hey Mom.” He replied, slumping his shoulders as he did.

“Everything okay?” She asked. She knew that Maggie had told him about Tracy. So she knew the battle he was having in his mind, at least she thought she knew.

“Nah. I....” He sighed. “I don't know. But I was going to see if you could have Dad keep an eye on my place. I need to talk to Maggie and Troy and they're in Livermore.”

Modine stepped out onto the porch and she shut the door. “I see. She told me you knew. Can I ask, what are you going to say?”

“I don't know. I've been thinking about it the past two days. Hell, I almost ran a guy over at work last night with the forklift.” He leaned against the door frame.

“Son, what will you do? Troy is in a bad place right now. Will you support him? Or shun him?” Modine asked.

He shook his head. “I don't want to lose my child. I don't totally understand everything, mostly because Maggie and I haven't talked much, but I don't want to lose Troy, or Tracy or whatever he goes by.”

“Then be there for her, or him, whichever he chooses. Don't push, just be there.” She replied.

“Thanks Mom.” He stood up and hugged her. As he turned to go he stopped on the top step. “Thanks for helping him so far. Thanks for being there.”

“It's my job. Grandma's never get a break.” She smiled at him. “Just drive safe.”

He nodded. “I will Mom.” He said as he headed for the gate.

~o~O~o~

Modine went back to the kitchen, aware that there was talking in the guest bedroom. One of her other sons children had come up for the holiday and had to stay with them. Joy had managed to make it up from LA, was halfway across the world in the Army and unable to make it home in time. She had even manged to bring one of Modine's great-grandchildren, Angie, who was just two years younger then Troy. Conner passed her with two suitcases, presumably headed for Joy's car.

She took her place at the kitchen table and resumed her crossword puzzle. A few moments later, Joy and her daughter came into the kitchen. “Hey Grandma. Just wanted to say bye.” Joy leaned down and hugged the older woman. “It's a long drive home and I want to get there before night.”

“You drive safe.” Modine hugged her back, then she leaned over and hugged Angie, her great grandchild. “And you be good.”

“I will.” Both Joy and her daughter said at the same time, which made the old woman smile.

She watched them both head for the door. A moment later Conner came in. He passed the kitchen and disappeared into the back of the house. He came back to the kitchen and dropped a nightgown and pair of girls panties on the table.

“Would you like to tell me what the hell this is about?” He asked. He was holding onto his temper, but just barely.

“It looked like Angie left some clothes.” Modine replied. “Catch them before she gets too far.”

He shook his head. “No. She brought it to me Friday morning. It's not hers. I've just been waiting till they left to ask you about it. Tell me Modine, is this Troy's?”

“Now why would you think it's his?” She asked.

“Because, he's the only one who uses that room on a weekly basis.” He held up the nightgown and let it fall open. “And it's about his size. And his brother wasn't sleeping over here, so it's not from that punishment.” Modine knew she was trapped. It was either lie or tell the truth and hope for the best. She sighed and put down her pencil, hoping she was about to make the right choice.

“Troy got a similar punishment.” Modine replied.

Conner regarded her for a moment, then he nodded. “I thought you'd say that. But while you were outside yesterday, I saw the other clothes in your closet. Vance kept that crap at his parents place. So tell me Modine, is my grandson a queer?”

“Would it matter if he was?” Modine glared at him.

“Modine, I will not allow a queer in my family.” Conner stood there, countering her glare with one of his own.

“What if he was? And I'm not saying he is, but what would you do? Kick his parent's off of property they own? Take him out back and beat him to death?” Modine stood up, her voice filled with anger.

“Maybe a good beating would straighten him out!” Conner growled. “He needs to learn to be a man! Not some dress wearing fagot!”

Modine took a step towards him, her voice and hands now shaking with rage. “You lay one hand on that boy and I won't defend you when the cops come and I'll make sure they show.”

He looked at her for a moment, then he backed up from her. “Fine. But I don't want that....that queer anywhere in my house.”

“It's. My. House. too.” She stated each word clearly. “Don't forget that.”

“Dammit it Modine! If you coddle that child he'll get worse!” Conner screamed. “It's dresses now, but what if he turns into a rapist because of it! Attacking women and children. You want to be a part of that!”

“OH! And what if taking him out back and beating the sense into him just makes him into an overbearing, close minded jackass?!? Will you be proud of him when he's in jail for attacking someone on the street just because of how he looks, or talks!”

“Dammit it. Now you're just being stupid!” He blurted out. He froze as the words left his lips. Between the two of them, she was the smarts, he was the brawn.

“Do I even know you?” She asked.

“Modine.” He swallowed hard and forced his anger back. “Look, I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.”

“Out. Now.” She took a step towards him. “Don't even come back in here till you've realized your mistake and I don't mean calling me stupid.”

“You're kicking me out?” He asked. “Where will I go? Who will keep an eye on you?” He asked, hoping to find a weak point.

“You've got a wood burning stove in your shed. Looks like you'll be there for a while.” Modine stated.

“Modine. Please, you need me in here.” He said.

“Do I? Do I really need a man who's more then willing to attack a boy who's forty years younger and smaller, just because you have outdated ideals?” Modine glared at him. “Just get out, now.” She hissed at him.

~o~O~o~

A little under four hours later William was pulling off the highway in Livermore. He had wished that he had called before he left, but it was still early and he didn't want to wake anyone. He knew it was bad idea to go and this could blow up in his face, but he needed to talk to his youngest child. His mind was finally made up on how to deal with his youngest child. He also didn't want Vance to feel left out, so he was thinking of things he could do with both children while he was there.

He pulled onto the main road Shelly and Frank lived off of and he begin to really worry about his decision. As he pulled into the parking lot for their town-homes, he didn't see Frank's normal daily driver. He thought about turning around and heading home, but he had to see Troy. He left the bag he has hastily packed in the passenger seat and he went around to the front door. He knocked, not too loudly, the scared part of him hoping that no one would have heard it and he could put it off till later.

He heard talking from the inside and then the door opened up, showing a very surprised Shelly at the door. “William?” She was stunned for a moment, he kept silent. “Come on in.” She said and she stepped to the side.

He stepped as his wife stood up from one of the nearby couches. “Is everything okay?” She asked. “I thought you worked today?”

“I did.” He replied, before letting out a deep breath. “But there was some problems yesterday and Steven begged me to take a sick day.”

Maggie blinked at that. She knew his record at work. He hadn't taken a day off due to illness in a long time, so this had to be bad. “What happened?”

“I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about what we talked about the other day.” He looked around the room, then at the stairs. “I almost cause a few accidents last night. So Steven made me take a day off, so I could get my head on.”

“You didn't....?” Maggie let the two words hang there. He didn't need anything else.

“No, I didn't hurt anyone.”

Maggie walked over and wrapped her arms around her husband. “Come on and sit down.”

“You hungry William? I got some eggs left in the fridge.” Shelly asked.

As if on cue, his stomach rumbled. He gave a slight nod. “I barely ate this morning, I couldn't focus.”

“Eggs it is then.” Shelly headed off to the kitchen.

“Come on and sit at the table, we can talk there.” Maggie said, leading him into the living room, then to the table.

“Is he here?” William asked as they passed the couches.

“No. Neither of them are here.” Maggie replied.

“Really? They off with Frank?”

“Just Vance. He has a friend with season tickets to the Forty Niners. They had a place for the two of them, so Frank took Vance.” Maggie said.

“Then where's Troy? Or is it Tracy?” He asked.

“It's Tracy this weekend and she's off with friends.” Maggie said with a smile.

“Friends? He, I mean she made friends over the weekend?” William blinked a couple of times. “Wow.”

“It was Rachel, Frank's niece? They've met many times. She heard Shelly talking to me the other day and she brought over a friend. A girl named Sage. They stayed here on Friday night. Then they stayed at Rachel's last night. Tracy will be back around noon today.”

“And you let her go?” William asked. “with people she barely knows?

“Shelly vouched for Sage and her parents. So I feel comfortable, plus she's only about half a mile from here and Frank's sister trusts those people with her two daughters.” Maggie said as she got up to get him a cup of coffee. “And you know how much guff she gave us when we offered to take them to lunch three years ago.”

William thought about it and chuckled. “I've never had a person who wasn't a cop take down all the information on my drivers license before.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Maggie smiled, then it faded. “So, why the surprise visit? I don't mind that you came here, but I'm not sure what's going on.”

“I wanted to talk to Tracy.” He said. “I've come up to a decision concerning her.”

"Oh?" Maggie failed to keep the concern out of her voice.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm giving her my full support."

Sage led Tracy down the street as Rachel passed them in her mothers van. Tracy felt bad for being able to still have fun, but she wasn't that religious and Rachel's mom refused to push her beliefs on her. Rachel waved and the two girls waved back.

“So was it fun?” Sage asked.

“What? Waving?” Tracy replied, looking at her new friend. She had gone over some of the stuff that Sage had said the past few days, things were slowly wonder what Sage's true story was.

Sage began to chuckle. “No you goof. A sleepover? Heck Two sleepovers?”

“That was great. You two are so much fun.” Tracy said. “I kinda wish I was a real girl like you two.”

Sage laughed. “Tracy, I'm as much of a girl as you are...well maybe more, but the way you act? The way you carry yourself? Total girl.”

November 27th 1982
Livermore CA

Tracy lay on a blanket in the center of Rachel's room, with another blanket draped over her. Sage and Rachel had joined her on the floor. Both of them having stolen more blankets. “Man, today was fun.” Sage said as she lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Oh yeah.” Rachel replied.

“I...” Tracy's voice wavered a little. “Thank you for inviting me.” She said, her voice cracking.

Sage heard it and she moved over, laying next to Tracy. “Hey, you okay?”

“It's just that you two are so accepting of me.” Tracy replied as she looked into Sage's eyes. From behind her, Rachel lay down and the two girls wrapped their arms over her. “You've answered so many questions. I don't think I can repay you two.”

“Hey, you need friends and we're here for you.” Rachel said as she moved closer.

“Just be our friend and were even.” Sage replied.

In all of her life, Tracy only had one friend, Peter. But now she had two more friends and they accepted her as Tracy. Now with them and her mother and grandmother, she was getting a lot of people to support her. She began to shed tears of joy. She reached out to Sage and pulled her closer as she backed into Rachel. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

~o~O~o~

November 28th 1982
Livermore CA

Sage led Tracy down the street as Rachel passed them in her mothers van. Tracy felt bad for being able to still have fun, but she wasn't that religious and Rachel's mom refused to push her beliefs on her. Rachel waved and the two girls waved back.

“So was it fun?” Sage asked.

“What? Waving?” Tracy replied, looking at her new friend. She had gone over some of the stuff that Sage had said the past few days, things were slowly wonder what Sage's true story was.

Sage began to chuckle. “No you goof. A sleepover? Heck Two sleepovers?”

“That was great. You two are so much fun.” Tracy said. “I kinda wish I was a real girl like you two.”

Sage laughed. “Tracy, I'm as much of a girl as you are...well maybe more, but the way you act? The way you carry yourself? Total girl.”

Tracy stumbled, but caught herself. There is was again, she had heard it. “Really?”

“Yeah, Total girl.” Sage replied.

“Cool” Tracy replied. “So...um.” She looked at the ground for a moment, then up at her new friend. “Are you just like me? I'm a boy, but I don't want to be. Things you've said, you said you could be a boy or a girl. ”

“I'm...” Sage paused as they turned onto a street that led them into a trailer park, just down the road from Rachel's place. “Can we discuss it in the house?” Sage asked. “It's really personal and I don't want people hearing about it. Too many people don't understand this.”

Tracy nodded ”Yeah. I would have asked yesterday, but I wasn't sure if it was okay.”

“Oh Rachel knows. Hell, her mom and my mom have been friends for years.”

“That's cool.” Tracy noticed where they were. “You live in a trailer park?”

Sage's cheeks turned a bit red and for the first time since Tracy met her, she saw shame on Sage's face. “Yeah. It's not as cool as Rachel's place, or even your Aunt's place, but it's home.”

“I think it's cool. My Grandma and Uncle Tom both have trailers, although they live on farms.” She chuckled. “You should see my parents place. It's so old, there's holes in the floor. My mom used to joke that it's air conditioned in the winter time. And we've had animals come crawling up through the bathroom floorboards.”

Sage turned to look at her. “Really?”

”Yep, I had a possum come up through the floorboards while I was going to the bathroom. And it really sucks because I share a room with Vance and it's almost as big as Aunt Shelly's bathroom. The one with a shower.”

“Ugh. That could get messy if you keep being a girl.” Sage stated. “I kinda have it good. I have both a sister and a brother, but I share with my sister. She just a few years younger. Although there was a time when I shared with Moonglow.”

Tracy's curiosity got the best of her. “Okay, I got to know. Does he go by that at school?”

“Not all the time. His Middle name is Marcus. So he went by that when the other kids picked on him.” Sage replied. “Mom's going to help him get a name change, if he wants it, but to me he'll always be my Moony.”

“Moony?” Tracy asked.

“Yep. He's my Moony, I'm his Goldie.” They stepped onto a driveway with a VW bus parked next to a trailer.

“Goldie?” Tracy lifted an eyebrow. “How does he get that from Sage?”

Sage stopped at the top of the steps to a trailer. “My Middle name is Marigold.” she opened the door and stepped in. “And Andromeda is Romy to Moony and I.”

“Cool.” They stopped just inside the door and Sage called out.

“Mom, I'm home.”

A thin woman in her mid forties peeked around a corner. She had a warm smile and crystal blue eyes, plus red hair that fell past her shoulders. “Hello darling.” When she saw Tracy, she stepped into the living room and walked over, extending her hand. “And you must be Tracy. I'm Sage's mom, Persephone. Sage told me about you over the phone.”

Tracy blushed and took the hand lightly and shook it gently. “Hi.”

“Are you two hungry?” Persephone asked.

“Nah, Rachel's mom fed us before they went to church.” Sage replied. "I was just going to talk to Tracy about that thing we share in common."

“Good. At least she has someone to help her." Persephone said. "Thirsty? I got soda's in the fridge and kool-aid, but you'll have to ask Romy about that. She's all about the kool-aid.”

“Maybe a soda?” Tracy asked.

“Sage, go ahead and grab some. I've got to get back to my sewing, so you two just let me know when it's time to take you home. Oh and send your sister to me when you see her, that will give you some privacy.”

“Sure thing, Mom.” Sage said as she led Tracy from the living room to the kitchen. Tracy took a quick stock of the main room and noticed something missing. As they stopped in the kitchen she hooked a thumb back to the living room. “You don't have a TV?”

“Nope. Dad swears it rots the mind. So we just have the radio, and lots of board games. Plus I love to read.”

“Oh. That's kinda cool. I know my mom limits how much we watch, claims the same thing, but Dad is always turning it on.” Tracy nodded. She looked around the kitchen, which was like any other kitchen, nothing out of place at all.

Sage reached into the refrigerator. “So, we have Shasta cola. You ever have that?”

Tracy nodded. “My Grandpa likes it. You got Grape?”

“Ah.” Sage reached in and pulled out two cans. “A girl after my own heart.” She handed Tracy a can then gestured to the hall. “Come on, I'll show you my room.”

“Okay.” Tracy said, not opening up her soda yet.

Tracy followed Sage to a room with a large picture of a moon on it. “That's my brothers room. I think he's off with friends today.” One the other side of the hall was two doors. One was open, showing a bathroom, the other was also open, and a bed could be seen. On the door was a picture of the herb Sage and hand drawn picture of a star. She pushed the door open and a small blur plowed into Sage's waist. The girl had long brown hair and wore a simple shirt and shorts combo.

“GOWIE!” The little girl screamed as she hugged her sister.

Tracy took a step back as Sage patted at the girls back. “Romy, this is my friend Tracy. Tracy, this is Andromeda.”

The little girl turned face her and cocked her head. Tracy could see she was no older then five. She looked back to her sister. “Gowie? She doesn't wook wike a boy. Why did Wachel say she was a boy?”

It took Tracy a moment to notice the child wasn't using the letters R or L, but Sage didn't miss a beat. She bent down to look her sister in the eye. “She's like me.”

“Oooooohhhhh.” The girl held the simple word out. “So she's pawt boy too?”

“Something like that.” Sage chuckled. “But remember, this is a secret, like with me, so no one else can know.”

“Okay!” Then the little girl bounded back into the room.

Just before Sage could step in, Tracy grabbed her arm and stopped her. “She knows about you?”

Sage nodded. “She's a five year old. Hard to hide everything from her when she sleeps in the same room and hasn’t fully learned the whole knocking before you go into the bathroom rule.”

Tracy nodded as the logic of that made sense. Sage led her into the room. Two beds were against the far wall, one on each side of the room. Between them was a large dresser. A closet was set into the wall that was shared with the bathroom. One bed was filled with stuffed animals, and hand drawn pictures all over the wall. The other side of the room had posters of bands and a single stuffed animal on the bed, a large dog. It was also the only bed that showed recent use.

“You used my bed last night.” Sage said, trying to sound angry. “You slept with Mr. Woof!” She turned on her sister who wasn't phased by the tone her sister used.

“I was scared an you wasn't home.” The little girl stuck her lip out before she went back to the paper she had on her bed. She held a crayons in one hand and began making a new picture for the wall.

“Hey, Mom wants to see you.” Sage told her sister. “I think she's getting your dress finished.” The little girl didn't say a word, she just jumped from the bed, letting the crayons fall onto the paper as she streaked out of the room

“Come on.” Sage went to her bed and she sat down, tossing the stuffed dog against the headboard. “Have a seat.” She patted the end of the bed, then put her soda on the dresser.

Tracy opened hers and took a sip, then placed hers next to Sage's and took the offered seat. “So....” She had more questions now, but she wasn't sure how to proceed.

“You want to know about what I said?” Sage asked. Tracy nodded and her new friend smiled. “This could get confusing, I know it confuses me too. I didn't mean to tell you only part of the story, but it's hard to follow my story at times.”

Sage took a deep breath and continued. “Okay, when I was born there was something different about me. I was born with...how did the doctor put it. Ambiguous genitalia.” She reached over and opened her can and took a quick sip. “I was born at a cabin that my parent's were staying at in the mountains, during a huge snowstorm. When Mom took me to a doctor, they tried to insist I was a girl and tried to force them to make me go through operations. Another doctor said that they could sew up the opening or something like that. I'm not really sure...Mom knows the whole story.”

“That's close enough.” Sage's mother said as she stood in the doorway. She stepped in and shut the door to the bedroom. “I sent your sister to Abigail's, I figured you'd want some help with this.” Persephone moved to the other bed and she sat down, facing her daughter, but her head was dropped and her hands were in her lap. “The doctor tried to tell me you had to have the surgery done, hell, they almost forced it. They kept arguing which way to push you too. But I stood my ground. There was so many things that I felt uncomfortable about, I wasn't going to let them force me. So we found a new doctor, one who listened. And with him, we came up with a new plan.”

“I get to choose.” Sage said looking to Tracy. “I mean the boy parts are nothing to rave about, at least I don't think so. So Mom decided that from a young age I got to choose who I wanted to be. If I wanted to be a boy, I could dress as a boy, if I wanted to be a girl, I dressed as a girl.”

“See, the doctor told us she needed to be put into at least one sex. For school and other records.” Persephone cut in. “So We had her go to school as Sage, the girl, but I explained it to her daily. She had the right to choose who she is. There was no pressure. Not from me or her father.”

“They said they could do the surgery, but the Doctor wanted to wait till I hit puberty. This way I have had time to come up to a decision.” Sage replied.

Tracy looked at the girl. “Have you? I mean chosen who you are?”

“I'm a girl.” She stated. “I haven't even done anything as a boy in a years, just because I didn't want to. I never really thought of myself as a boy.”

“Is this what you meant by your all girl too? Maybe more?” Tracy asked.

Sage nodded. “It's hard to explain and don't ask me to show you, please. Even Rachel hasn't seen.” Her cheeks had begun to turn a shade of red that matched her hair.

“it's okay, I wasn't going to ask.” Tracy replied.

“Thanks.” Sage replied. Tracy leaned over and hugged her friend. “What was that for?”

“For telling me the truth.” Tracy rested her head against Sage's shoulder. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome. If you got any questions, I'll answer what I can. But this is why I said I understand.” Sage said.

Tracy nodded. “If I have them, I'll ask.”

The front door opened up and they heard the sounds of little feet running towards the room. Persephone got up. “Well, Romy's back. If you two need me, I'll be sewing. I'll try and keep her out of your hair.”

“Thanks Mom.” Sage said.

Her mother leaned over and kissed her forehead. “It's what I'm here for.”

As her mother stepped out of the room, she grabbed the little girl before she could come back in, then she shut the door again. After a few moments Sage looked at Tracy. A look of concern crossing her features. “You're not weirded out by me now, are you?”

“No.” Tracy smiled and put her arms around the other girl again. “Before, I had mom and Grandma who thought they understood and Peter who kinds knew. But you....You know what it's like.”

Sage smiled at that. “Rachel and the others know, but that's it, well and your Aunt and Uncle. But for most people, I'm just a girl who used to be a tomboy.”

“That's cool.” Tracy replied. “I still don't know what I am.”

Sage giggled. “Silly. You're Tracy. That's all you need to be.”

~o~O~o~

It was just past noon as Persephone drove the two girls back to Shelly's house. They had even picked up Rachel who had come running over after church before they left the trailer park. The three girls sat in the back of the VW bus, taking the short trip to talk some more. Tracy was just listening to them as Sage's mom brought the bus to a halt. She reached over and pulled the door open.

She froze as she looked at the car next to the bus. He eyes began to fill with tears and her breathing quickened. “Oh shit.” Tracy swore as she began to shake.

Rachel looked at her, then at the car. “What's wrong? You know that car?”

Tracy moved away from the door and she began to cry. As she aimed to sit on the seat, she missed, landing with a thud on the floorboard of the bus. “It's my dads.” She managed to say. “He's gonna kill me.” She lay down and curled into a ball and began to sob.

“I don't understand.” Persephone said, looking from Tracy to the two girls.

“Mom, her dad doesn’t know about Tracy.” Sage stated.

“Oh no.” Her mother undid her seat belt and sat there, thinking of a plan. “Tracy, do you have boy clothes with you?”

“Mom's car.” She sobbed out.

“Crap. I doubt Sage's boy stuff will fit you, that's all smaller then she is now. And Moon's clothes are way to big.” Persephone was quiet for a minute more. Then she pointed to Rachel. “Shelly's your aunt. Go inside, tell her mother you need the keys. Come back out and grab the bag, we'll do a fast change in the bus.”

“Right.” Rachel said as she jumped out of the bus and jogged off to the house. Sage had gotten close enough to hold Tracy.

“Hey, he won't hurt you.” Sage said. “Not while I'm here.”

“It wont matter.” Tracy put her head against Sage's chest. “He'll just do it at home.”

To Tracy it felt like an eternity, yet only a matter of minutes had passed from when Rachael left. Persephone turned and tapped her daughters shoulder, then she pointed to the door lock on the sliding door. Sage took the hint and she locked it, then went back to trying to console her friend as her mother got out.

She watched her mother walk across the green lawn of the town home community to stop a taller man who was walking with Rachel. She could see Maggie standing at the back of the town homes watching what was happening. Beneath her hands, Tracy kept crying, still curled up into a ball in front of the seat.

After a minute or two, Maggie moved close, standing next to Rachel. The man walked with Persephone to the van. Sage sat there as her mother gestured for her to open the lock, mouthing the words. “It's okay.”

“Come on.” She whispered to her daughter and held out a hand. Sage slowly climbed out of the bus, glaring at Tracy's dad. The older woman touched Tracy's leg. “Give him a chance.” She said, then she began to lead her daughter away. “I'll be in earshot.”

William didn't say anything, he just nodded. He wasn't sure what his child had told them, but he knew by his past actions, it must not be good. He stood there by the door as he watched his child, look at him with one eye, fear all over her face, then she tired to press under the seat. His heart began to break, seeing that much fear in his child, aimed straight at him. He had guessed that at times, his children seen him as a monster, and now he knew it was true.

He wiped at one of his own tears as he leaned against the side of the bus. “Sweetie, I'm not mad at you. I'm not going to yell, or scream, or even hit you.” He sniffled once, then wiped a finger across his cheek. “I know I haven't been the best parent. But Tracy, I love you. You're my child and I love you no matter what.”

The use of her girl name caused the one visible eye to look in his direction. He swallowed and shook his head. “I've been unfair to you and I can understand why you wouldn't trust me. I've probably ruined a great day just by being here. I know your worried about what I'll do. A million thoughts must be racing through your mind. But I won't hurt you.” He said.

More tears fell from his eyes and Tracy grew silent, listening to him and watching with one wary eye. “I can't even claim I understand what you're feeling, or going through. But I want you to know, I'm here for you. If you wish to be Tracy, or Troy, you're still my child. And I love you. No matter who you want to be, I support you.”

He stood there for a few moments, nothing but silence passed between then. His head hung down in shame as the proof of his rotten parenting skills were shown to the other woman and her child. He had messed it all up by coming to where she was. “I'm sorry Tracy. I'm sorry I failed you.” He whispered, turned and began to walk away, very slowly. He was about to pass the women who had talked to him when she held up a hand, then pointed to the bus. He turned and saw his daughter for the first time, wearing a now rumpled blue skirt and a white shirt, now showing some sort of stain on it. Her eyes showed that she had been crying and her hair wasn't combed back like Troy's had been. In fact, William couldn't see any of his son standing there. She took a step away from the van and asked.

“Do you mean it?” Her voice quavered, as if she was about to burst into tears again. “About supporting me?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I should have been doing it all along and I was wrong not to. But you have my full support now.” He waited a moment, then added. “Like you should have had all this time.”

“What if I don't want to be Troy again?” She took a step closer.

“Then I'll have the best daughter in the world, one who I'll protect with my last breath and support with every fiber of my being.” He went to one knee. “Baby, I know you have no reason to trust me. But give me the chance, please?” He wiped away another tear.

Behind him, Tracy watched as Rachel nodded and gave her a thumbs up. By his car, Sage nodded as well. She had never seen her dad cry, not like this. And the look on his face was genuine. “And you'll never hurt me again?”

“Not for being who you really are.” He stayed on the one knee.

Tracy looked to her mother who was mimicking Rachel and Sage. She began walking towards him, but the urge to get a comforting hug was too great. She ran towards him, hugging him tightly at the waist.

“I love you Tracy.” His tone was that soothing tone that all dads could use. He put his arms around her and held on tightly.

“I love you too Daddy.” She answered back.

“I only did it at times. When you worked in the field. When Mom ran to the store really quick. It's not like I wore the skirt all the time.”

“Makes sense.” William replied. “And do you do it to relax?”

Tracy looked to the floor. “I used to think that. But the other day, when we stopped in Tracy.” Her friends began to snicker and she ignored them. “I thought Aunt Shelly didn't know and they'd hate me, so I became Troy for the time I'd be here and I hated it. I stayed up in the guest room, not wanting to to anything till Monday.”

“What happened?” William asked, genuinely curious.

“I happened.” Shelly said with a grin. “I told her that I knew and didn't care. A while later, Tracy showed up and then the girls came over to hang out with her.

“And that's been fun.” Tracy's smile brightened as she looked at her new friends.

“Must have, she's been around them for almost two days straight.” Persephone said with a grin. “Not that I'm complaining. She's a well behaved young lady.”

November 28th 1982
Livermore CA

As Tracy stood there wrapped in her father's embrace, out in the open for anyone to see, the emotions got the best of her and she began to cry again. Her father wiped a few of the tears off of her cheek and he gave her an odd look. “What's wrong?” William asked.

“N-nothing.” She stammered between the tears. “I'm just happy.” Her head went against his chest again, then two more sets of arms engulfed them.

She felt two bodies, one's she guessed to be Sage and Rachel against her back, then Sage's voice whispered in her ear. “See, it can work out.”

The group hug ended as the two other girls, who had began to cry on their own backed away from the father and his daughter. Maggie ran over, scooping Tracy up and then hugging Will, putting their daughter between them. “I am so proud of both of you.” She said. “But let's get this inside, before the neighbors ask questions.”

“Yeah.” William agreed. Rachel and Sage pulled Tracy away, leaving the adults the chance to walk together.

Persephone walked over and smiled at William. “Thank you.” She hugged him, then his wife.

“For what?” William asked as Persephone had began to follow her daughter.

She looked over her shoulders and smiled. “For proving to me how much you love your daughter.”

“I always have, I just never said anything.” He replied.

“Then maybe you should say it more often. Don't forget your boy as well. Both will need love and support.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I think I got a lot to learn about being a good father.”

She slowed down and fell in step with the couple. “How do you feel about all of this?”

“I'm not sure. I'll support her, but I have no idea what she's going through. I'm...” He shook his head. “This is all new territory to me. I have so many questions and I don't know where to go for the answers.”

“Come inside and I'll help with as much as I can. I've got a lot of experience in this subject.” Persephone replied.

“You know someone like Tracy?” He asked.

“My daughter, Sage.” She pointed to her daughter that was walking just in front of them, both her and Rachel were walking with their arms around Tracy. The red-headed girl turned and smiled at him, pushing up her glasses just slightly.

“Really?” He blinked a couple of times as he looked at the girl. “I...wow, I couldn't tell.”

Sage let go of Tracy and began walking backwards, watching William closely. “I'm a bit different, but she and I are the same, at least where it counts .” She tapped her chest, just over her heart.

A few minutes later William sat on the love seat, his wife sat next to him. Shelly had taken over the couch with two of the three girls and Persephone was in one of the chairs. Tracy sat on the floor in front of her parents, leaned back and letting her shoulders rest between them.

“So how long have you been dressing like a girl?” William asked his daughter. He put a hand on her shoulder as she looked back at him.

“A few years.” She blushed and looked at the floor.

“And no one caught you?” William had a hint of surprise in his voice.

“I only did it at times. When you worked in the field. When Mom ran to the store really quick. It's not like I wore the skirt all the time.”

“Makes sense.” William replied. “And do you do it to relax?”

Tracy looked to the floor. “I used to think that. But the other day, when we stopped in Tracy.” Her friends began to snicker and she ignored them. “I thought Aunt Shelly didn't know and they'd hate me, so I became Troy for the time I'd be here and I hated it. I stayed up in the guest room, not wanting to to anything till Monday.”

“What happened?” William asked, genuinely curious.

“I happened.” Shelly said with a grin. “I told her that I knew and didn't care. A while later, Tracy showed up and then the girls came over to hang out with her.

“And that's been fun.” Tracy's smile brightened as she looked at her new friends.

“Must have, she's been around them for almost two days straight.” Persephone said with a grin. “Not that I'm complaining. She's a well behaved young lady.”

“Thanks.” Tracy said, her smile being replaced with a blush.

“You're welcome Tracy. Anytime you're in town, just call and you can hang out with Sage.”

“Groovy.” Sage replied, causing William to look at her with a raised eyebrow. “Sorry, hippy parents.”

William was about to reply, but he shook the comment away. His time in the Army during Viet Nam gave him a bad view on the hippy movement, instead he moved to a new line of questions. “So, what about school?” He asked his daughter.

Her shoulders slumped down and she hung her head, but they could hear her voice. “I have to be Troy. I don't think they'd let me be Tracy.”

William nodded. He was sure that she was right. “What about your daughter?” He asked Persephone. “Sage was it?”

Persephone looked to her daughter, who shut her eyes and nodded. “It's cool Mom. He's asking and it may help.”

Persephone got up and moved to her daughter. Rachel scooted over and Persephone sat down, pulling her daughter in tight. “Sage is a different story.” She had the child’s permission and she respected her daughter, but questions were asked and William was trying to understand. She took a deep breath and let it out, facing William. “Sage is different. When she was born, she could have been a him, or a her. The doctors tried to force a change, but I refused. We decided to let her make her own choices in life. So, yes she's like Tracy, born in a body that isn't totally a female one, but she's closer to the end goal then Tracy.”

“So she's partly a girl now? That's why she dresses as one? What about school?” He asked again.

“Well, when she was born, she needed a name and a sex for public records. So reluctantly, I labeled her a girl. But when we left the doctor, I let her be who she wants. If she wanted to dress and act as a boy, she has the choice and her brother has a second bed in his room for her, so does her sister.” “She goes to school as a girl, because she's legally a girl. And she wants to remain as one. But if she had said she was a boy, I'd support that too.”

“And her father and siblings are good with this?” William asked.

“Yeah. As far as her sister Andromeda is concerned, she's the greatest thing in the world. And her bother Moony is totally on her side. He's even taken her side when some boys tired to pick on her.” Persephone replied.

“Here's hoping Vance is like that.” William said with a shake of his head.

“Well he's been good for a week or two now.” Maggie replied.

“I want to know.” William gave his daughters shoulder a light squeeze. “Do you dress like this at my mothers place?”

Tracy nodded. “Yeah, but only when you and Grandpa are out of town.”

“I see. How would you like to be Tracy at home.” He asked.

Tracy turned around, her face brighter then he had seen in a while. “Please?”

“I think it's okay, but I'd like to talk to someone about this as well.” William said.

“I know a few good people around here, but that doesn't help you at home. Although they may know someone up there.” Persephone replied. “I can ask the doctor the next time Sage has an appointment. It's next week I think?”

“Yeah.” Sage nodded, her smile had returned.

“What about Vance?” Tracy asked.

“Well he can talk to the doctor too I guess. Maybe we all should.” William replied.

Tracy shook her head. “No Dad. I want to be a girl. I should be a girl. Girl's don’t share rooms with their brothers.”

He thought about it and nodded. “Tell you what, we find a shrink and he agrees with you, then we'll find a way to make this work.”

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah. But remember, you may still have to be Troy when your grandfather is around.” William stated. “But when your at home you can be yourself, okay?”

Without warning she launched herself at her father. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she held tightly. “Thank you Daddy.”

“It's no problem baby.” He put his hands on her back. He held her for a few minutes, then he looked from Persephone to Shelly. “When is Frank due back?”

“Well if the game gets over on time, about four or five, maybe as late as six, depending on traffic. But he'll call from a pay phone when he's leaving.”

“Good.” William nodded, then he looked to Sage and her mother. “How would you like to go out to eat? You and your family, Our treat?”

Persephone looked to her daughter who was nodding wildly. She laughed. “I'll have to call Carl and the kids, but I'm sure it should be fine.”

He looked to his wife. “We can see if Frank will join us with Vance and we can hit that place over by the highway the kids like.”

“What about Rachel?” Maggie asked.

“I'll call her mother.” Shelly replied. “She'll understand.”

"Invite her." William said. "Make it one huge group."

"I offer the invite." Shelly got up and headed to the phone.

Tracy stood up and looked at her clothes. “I think I'll change. This dress is wrinkled and the shirt is dirty.”

As she headed for the steps, Rachel and Sage got up. “We'll help!” With that the three girls went up the stairs.

Maggie leaned over to her husband and kissed him. “Thank you William.”

~o~O~o~

It had taken three tables pushed together to fit their group. The guys, Frank, William, Vance, Moony, Lance, Rachel's father and Carl, Sage's father had taken one table while Vance and Frank controlled the conversation at that table with talk of the football game. Tracy's mother, Aunt Shelly, Rachel's mother and Persephone talk about their time in school in the bay area.

That left the four girls on their own, trying to talk in the middle of the table without over riding the other two conversations. “This is cool.” Sage said, leaning over the table. “Who knew your dad would be so awesome about this.”

“I know. And I get to be Tracy at home too. This rocks.” Tracy replied.

“Yep. And your mother said she'll try to make sure you get to see us as much as possible, so that's good too.” Rachel replied.

“Hey, maybe we could go camping in the summer?” Sage's smile shown brightly.

“Camping?” Rachel asked. “Like in the woods with bugs and crazy animals?”

“What about my backyard?” Tracy asked. “We got fifteen acres of olive trees, plus a ravine behind us.”

“Doesn't that include the animals and bugs again?” Rachel asked, her smile fading.

“Come on Rachel, you can have fun and not be at an expensive hotel.” Sage replied.

“Yeah, but hotels are fun.” Rachel huffed out. “Think of the swimming pools.”

“I can't swim.” Tracy replied.

“Really?” Sage leaned in and whispered. “Like you swim like a rock, or because your afraid people may see something?”

“I swim like a rock.” Tracy replied. “And it sucks cause there is a lake by the town we live in.”

A hand touched her shoulder and she looked over to her father. “Young ladies shouldn't say suck.” He stated, before standing up. “But on that note, we should get going. Your friends have school tomorrow. And it's almost seven.”

“Awww.” Tracy said as she reluctantly stood.

Maggie put a hand on her daughters shoulder. “Don't pout. I've got their phone numbers and addresses in my purse. I gave Persephone ours and she has a copy for the girls.”

“Oh, cool.” Tracy said as the group made their way outside.

When they got to the car and the adults began to say their farewells, Tracy hugged Sage. “Thank you for hanging out with me.”

“It was fun. I wouldn't have missed this for the world.” Sage replied as she hugged Tracy back.

“And thanks for the clothes.” Tracy said as she hugged Rachel.

“No problem. I'm just glad they got a good home to go to.” Rachel hugged her back.

“Come on kiddo.” William said, stopping just behind her. He looked at the two girls. “If you two get the chance to come to our place, the doors always open.”

“Thanks.” The two girls replied before slowly heading over to where Persephone had left her bus. Tracy stood by the back of her fathers car as Frank and Shelly got into theirs and they took off. She kept an eye on her new friends as they piled into the bus, along with Sage's family.

As the bus fired up, her dad tapped her shoulder and pointed to the door of the car. “Come on, we got a busy day tomorrow.”

~o~O~o~

November 29th 1982
Tracy CA

It had been a good trip to and from San Francisco, despite the rain that was almost non stop. It had made sure that the two kids didn't want to go walking around too much. So after Maggie's appointment and a quick early lunch in China town they had left San Francisco. They managed to beat anymore rush hour traffic and get to William's car. Tracy now sat in the front seat of her Dad's car as they topped the hill that led into the town of Tracy. The backseat was full of clothes that Rachel had left for her at Shelly's place.

“Hey, you doing okay over there?” William asked his daughter.

“Tracy nodded and gave him a small smile. “Yeah. Gonna miss Rachel and Sage though.”

“Well the good thing is you can see them again.” He replied. “It's not like it's in LA. It'll be just a three hour trip to drop you off.”

“Drop me off?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her. “When you were showering yesterday, You're mother and that Persephone woman made a plan for a couple of weeks from now. You mom and I will take you down there on Friday the seventeenth after school and then we'll get you on the twenty third. You'll be staying with Sage, Rachel and your Aunt and Uncle.”

Tracy's eyes got huge. “Really?”

“You're Aunt swears they're good people and you seem to enjoy yourself around the girls, so why not?”

“Thank you Dad.” Tracy fought to keep more tears of joy out of her eyes.

“Don't thank me, Kiddo, thank your Mom and your Aunt and that Persephone woman.” He said with a grin.

“Oh I will.” She smiled at him.

“This may be a Christmas present though, with the cost of getting you down there.” He stated.

She thought about it. It was costly to drive and she would be down there for three full days and two half days, so it all worked out. “That's the best present I could get.” A tear streaked down her cheek. “A few days with my new best friends. Thank you Daddy.”

“You're welcome...” He wasn't sure what to call her. It had always been big guy for either boy but now the rules had changed. So he went with the best alternative. “Princess.”

Her smile grew brighter and she seemed to sit taller in the seat. Her heart beat strongly, a feeling she wished that feeling would never go away.

~o~O~o~

It was just after five when the two cars carrying Tracy and her family pulled into their driveway. Maggie, Tracy and Vance went into the house, each with their suitcases, as William went over to his mothers to let her know he was home. Tracy hadn't changed into Troy and a part of her was worried about her grandfather seeing her, but she decided that she needed to get her clothes out of her dads car. She was not too concerned at people seeing her when they drove by, their road wasn't that popular.

Tracy was making her fourth trip from the car, putting the clothes into a pile on the couch as William stepped in, holding what was left in the car. His mother stood behind him. Tracy turned to see her and smiled brightly. “Grandma!”

“Hello young lady. Your father told me about the new changes. It is nice to see you with a smile on your face.” She said as she came into the house. “There's been some changes next door as well.”

“Is everything okay?” Tracy asked.

“Let me tell everyone at once.” She said.

William went into the kitchen and called down the hall to his son. “Vance, we need you in the living room.”

Maggie came into the master bedroom, followed by Vance from the kitchen. They all took a seat as Modine sat on the couch next to her granddaughter. “So you know, Conner found Tracy's clothes. You left them in the dresser and Angie showed them to him. He found the rest in my closet. He had a fit about it and I threw him out.”

“You threw Dad out of the house?” William asked.

“He's in his shed. He has a wood burning stove in there, so he wont freeze. But he's out of the house until his attitude towards my granddaughter changes.” Modine stated. She put an arm around Tracy. “He refuses to catch up with the times and until he does, I don't want him being anywhere near Tracy.”

“I understand.” William replied.

“Is he mad at me?” Tracy asked.

“Tracy, don't you even try to shoulder the blame on this. He's the one with out-dated morals, so this is all his fault.”

“Oh.” She said.

“Look, I didn't want to rain on your good day, but I had to warn you.” Modine hugged her granddaughter again. “Look, I have something on the stove, so I need to get back. If Conner gives Tracy any problems, call me.”

“We will Mom.” William replied.

“Good.” She got up and headed for the door. “See you on Friday Tracy.” She said before she walked outside.

Tracy sat there stunned. She wasn't sure how to handle the news. Her grandfather knew, but something in her grandmothers tone had scared her. Her mother seemed to notice and she pulled her back to reality.

“Hey, Tracy? You want to help me get dinner prepared? Something nice and easy?”

“Sure Mom.” Tracy said as she stood up. “I'd love to.”

Sorry for the jumping around, but I felt the story was droning on so I skipped. And a visit to Weather Underground let me see what type of weather San Fran had that day, so sorry, no fun on the town. But I feel she came out better for it.

WARNING!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER IS MUCH DARKER THEN THE PAST NINTEEN. IT HAS ELEMENTS OF ATTEMPTED RAPE AND AN ATTACK, SO PLEASE, PROCEDE WITH CAUTION

The rating has been raised to reflect the violence and I am sorry to anyone this offends.

December 1st 1982
Northern California

It was the last day of Troy's suspension. Even thought she didn't want to be Troy anymore, Tracy still knew he was a necessary evil. She also knew she had to be him in school. It would be asking too much to try and be Tracy there. Her mother had managed to find a therapist willing to see her, but the first appointment wasn't until later in the month, the day she'd go to visit Sage and Rachel.

She wanted to be Tracy outside of the house, away from the farm and not just in the Bay area. But that wasn't possible, not in the tiny red-neck town they lived in. Rumors would fly, so would the insults and maybe the bullets. So instead of being in town, Tracy decided that she would go for a walk, through their olive orchard. There was usually very little traffic on the road that they lived on, so that was good.

Soon she found herself walking through the dry parts of the orchard in a red skirt, with bright red leggings and a black shirt. Her hair was pulled into pigtails. Her thoughts remained on her new friends in Livermore. They had helped more then she guessed they knew. She slowly began to make plans and ideas for things they could do in the summer.

Her thoughts were shattered as she heard Bruce.

“Well I was hoping to find you all alone, but this is too damn good. The little fag does wear dresses. Maybe he wants to be a girl. Am I right? You wanna be a girl, fag?” She looked up and saw Bruce, Frankie and two other boys she had seen at school, but didn't know. All of them were either leering or glaring at her. The one of the kids she didn't know looked tiny compared to the other three kids, but he had a wild look on his face, just as Bruce and Frankie did. The fourth one looked unsure.

She stopped in her tracks as the four boys started moving towards her. “Fucking snitch. I was just going to kick your ass. No one snitches on me.” He gave her a leering smile that chilled her to the bone. “Maybe I'll take it out of your ass, too. Maybe we'll all take it out of your ass.” She had heard a lot of stories about Bruce, how he was a thief, that she had seen first hand. She knew he had a thing for beating up people. His temper was quite known at the school. And everyone knew he had a record with the police. But one rumor that had been spread a year or two before it died off quickly, something about him sexually attacking a young girl. There had been no proof, just stories. Something had happened and everyone was quick to forget it. But it was that one story that was coming back to scare her. She went into a defensive stance as the four boys split up, leaving Bruce coming right at her and the other three from behind and her sides. Bruce began to chuckle. He knew it was Troy, just by the look on his face and hte instant drop into a fighting stance. Plus how many girls Troy's size were on that ranch. “You really think you can take all of us?”

Tracy tired to keep her voice steady, but her heart was pumping and she was scared. It was late enough that her parents were home and Peter was to show up soon to hang out. She just had to get to the house. So her training kicked in and she tired to defuse the situation and stay calm. “Bruce, just let me go. I don't care who you tell about the skirt, just let me walk out of here and no one gets hurt.”

The bigger boy took a step closer, looking like he was thinking about it, then smiled and shook his head. But it wasn't a friendly smile. Tracy felt it was what other fish saw when a shark came near. Nothing but teeth and attitude. “Ummmm. No. You screwed up when you told them what you saw. And you wont make that mistake this time, will you?”

Bruce faked a lunge forward, causing Tracy to move. The wild looking boy to her side latched on an arm, then he slipped behind her and put his arms behind her in a full nelson. Frankie sent a quick punch into her gut. She grunted in pain as Bruce stepped closer. He pulled out a pocket knife and opened it up.

Tracy squirmed, but the kid holding her arched his back, taking her feet off of the ground. Bruce put the blade against her throat and pushed it slightly. “Fight me and I'll fucking cut ya.” Her eyes were wide with fear and he pulled the knife back, then he slapped her cheek. ”See, you can make a good choice.”

She was thinking of ways to escape, she needed to get out of the hold. Her thoughts were interrupted as Bruce put the knife at the bottom of her shirt and he moved it upwards, cutting her shirt open. “Look. The fag has a bra on.”

“Hey man, I just thought we were gonna scare him.” The forth boy began to look nervous. He cast a glace to her and it looked almost compassionate.

“If you can't handle it. Then fucking leave, but don't say shit. You talk and I hurt you.” Bruce said, barely looking to the other boy as he began cutting into the skirt that Tracy was wearing. “This fag is gonna get what he deserves!”

“Dude! Look at you! You really gonna do that to him!” The other boy pointed in Tracy's direction. She could see that fear was all over his face. “Who's the fag here!”

Bruce turned to face him, swinging with his empty hand. The blow caught him on the chin and the boy hit the ground. Tracy began to squirm, making the boy who held her to let her feet touch the ground as he adjusted his grip. Tracy took a quick step back and rolled her shoulders, causing her attacker to flip over her. She flexed her arms and popped his grip, then kicked a leg into Frankie’s gut as he moved towards her.

She rolled to her feet as Bruce turned back and she snapped a kick out, catching him weakly in the crotch. He screamed out and staggered back. The boy she flipped reached out and grabbed her ankle. She staggered and pitched face first onto the dirt as Frankie and Bruce were rising up, both of them swearing. She kicked a couple more times at the hand that held her and managed to hear a light pop sound from the boys wrist. He screamed and let go of her ankle. She got to her feet as fast as she could.

Tracy turned and took off in a dead sprint. She headed for her place, but the younger kid got to his feet and managed to slip past her forcing Tracy to change her escape route. She made a wide arc, running for her grandmothers backyard, hoping she was home. She screamed as she began out run them, but in climbing the fence she began to lose her lead. She made it almost over the fence, but Frankie grabbed her foot. Tracy kicked her leg, but it didn't work well. Frankie let her go as Bruce was climbing the chain-link fence. She hit the ground with a thud, but as he saw Bruce moving towards her, she got up and ran, headed to the backdoor.

The third boy came out of nowhere and shoved her hard, sending her staggering again and hitting the ground. All three boys were pissed, even though they had been the ones to start the attack. “Think you're funny! No body kicks me in the nuts and gets away with it.” Bruce lashed out at Troy, but Tracy caught the blow and deflected it, sending the bigger boy staggering away.

The other boy bounced in, throwing a strike that Tracy blocked easily. She pushed back and turned to sidestep Frankie. The nameless wild child ran back and lashed out with a kick that got close to Tracy's crotch.

Tracy blocked her crotch as Frankie kicked at her again. She made a quick sidestep and swept her arms and one leg, which managed to deprive Frankie of his footing. She then made a quick move away from Frankie and the other boy, but she wasn't ready for Bruce, who came up from behind and put her in a bear hug. He lifted the her off the ground as she began thrashing around, then he threw Tracy to the ground. Before she could act, Frankie sent a kick to his face.

Tracy managed to block her face, but she wasn't ready for Bruce's kick to her crotch. “Nobody kicks me in the nuts!” His vision went white as stars exploded into view, while she shrieked out in pain.

The next kick hit him in the upper chest, then another She swore she heard a popping sound and a lance of pain wracked her body. “Fucking Fag!” Bruce screamed again as he kicked out to her face. Then a second kick to the crotch.

Tracy's arms moved again and Frankie sent one more kick to her crotch, as hard as she could. Stars exploded into his field of vision. A another set of kicks went towards her face, one connecting over a cheek. She tried to curl into a ball as feet assaulted her from three directions. Bruce kicked at her side again. “Hold the fag!” He glared at Frankie and the other boy. The two of them grabbed her, an arm and leg each, then then kept her on the ground. Bruce cocked his leg back and his foot connected into Tracy's crotch once more and another scream left her lips, one that was heard a block away.

~o~O~o~

Peter had come over to hang out with his friend, but as he had reached Tracy's front door he had heard a scream rang out and Maggie flung the door open. She paused for a moment as she tired to focus on who was screaming and Peter looked at her. “Where's Troy?!?” He asked.

Then a second voice filled the air, it was the unmistakable voice of her Mother-in-law. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Maggie stared at Peter, then she turned and yelled into the house.

“William! Trouble at your mothers place!” With that, Maggie began running for Modine's house. Peter was already jumping one of the fences that separated the two homes.

A second voice rang out. “SHUT UP BITCH!” And that was followed with a scream of pain from her Mother-in-law.

~o~O~o~

Conner was standing on the porch to the neighbors house, having helped with some cows that got out of the pens, when he heard Tracy's scream, Vance was next to him. He looked through the bare trees, towards his house and saw his youngest grandchild on the ground and being attacked by three boys that he didn't know. Vance had already turned and was watching too. His vision turned red as he watched his wife come out and scream, then was attacked. “Call the cops!” He snapped at the neighbor, as he broke into a dead run, Vance behind him.

~o~O~o~

Frankie had let go of Tracy when Bruce hit Modine, so did the other boy. They both stood up, forgetting their first target as Bruce began kicking at the older woman who had tried to hit him with a rolling pin. “Maybe I'll beat you with this bitch.” Instead he slapped her across the cheek, hard. She screamed out again and staggered back.

Tracy heard her grandmother scream and her blood boiled. Though her vision was marred by something liquid over her right eye, she could see the look of pain on Modine's face she she hit the ground, holding her arm. The impact with the ground brought another scream. Another scream parted Tracy's lips, not one of pain, but of pure rage.

The small child summoned all of her anger, strength and courage and she began to hold onto it. He could hear a voice yelling in her mind, like a Drill Sargent. ~GET UP, NOW!!!~ The voice in his head screamed. ~THAT BOY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO BE AROUND HER. HE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO TOUCH HER!!! GET UP AND PROTECT HER, NOW!!!~ She rolled till she was on all fours and then started the agonizing climb to her feet. The pain threatened to tack her back to the ground, but she had to prevail, Modine was counting on her

The pain tore through her body, causing her to scream again, but like before, it was akin to a battle roar. She began to focus her pain and anger on Bruce. She couldn't rest until he was down, broken and bleeding. Frankie turned as she got to just one knee. He tired to kick again, but Tracy blocked his leg and almost fell over, but she sent a quick, weak punch to Frankie's knee.

She didn't even watch as Frankie fell backwards, holding himself. Tracy screamed in pain as she stood up fully. The second boy stepped in, swinging. Tracy brought up an arm, stepping with him. She screamed in pain as she twisted with him, slapping his back and causing him to stumble past him and to the ground.

He glared at Bruce who had turned to sneer at her. “LEAVE HER ALONE!!!” She took a pain-filled step closer to Bruce. Sweat began to bead up on his forehead, his teeth grinding as hard as they could, his hands made into fists so tight that the knuckles had turned a ghost white. He took another step, swaying as he stood there panting. Her strength was fading fast. She could only hope that someone had heard her. Someone had to be coming, or Bruce was going to hurt her Grandmother.

“So the little fagot thinks he can fight.” Bruce took a step towards Tracy. “Gonna fucking kill you.”

Bruce's attention was all on Tracy, he hadn't heard someone vault the fence to the backyard, nor had he heard the boy running towards him, but he felt the impact. Peter dropped his shoulders low, catching Bruce just at the waist. His momentum forced Bruce onto his shoulder, at which point he raised up, causing him to flip backwards onto the ground.

“TROY! LOOKOUT!!!” Peter screamed as he slowed, then he bolted towards Tracy, but passing him and slamming into Frankie who had grabbed a rock and was moving to strike Tracy. The two boys hit the ground and Tracy spun to see what happened, causing her to scream once more and this time she fell back to the ground. The impact forced one more scream out before the pain had grown too much for her to handle and the darkness took her.

Peter rolled away from Frankie and to his feet. His target was doing the same, just a bit slower. As Frankie stood up, Peter threw a series of punches, a jab to the gut, followed by a punch to the face and a hook to the belly. Then he threw his weight at Frankie and hit the ground.

The third boy had decided to cut his losses and run. He was halfway over the fence when Conner yelled out. “Vance!” And he pointed to the boy. Vance poured on the speed and ducking into the field to come around the boy. Bruce had manged to get back to his feet and was about to rush Peter, when a set of fingernails raked his face. Maggie swung again, placing herself between him and her family.

“THAT'S IT YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Bruce screamed as he swung at Maggie, catching her on the cheek. She fell down and he started to loom over her. He cocked his leg back, ready to kick at her face, only to be blown off of his feet by a crushing right hand to the face.

Conner stood over the boy and shoved a foot into his chest. “You get up and I will end you, punk!” The old man growled.

Peter shoved Frankie backwards to the ground as he tired to stand up. Peter stood between the boy and his friend. “I dare ya. Try me.”

“Tracy!” They all heard Maggie scream as she saw her child on the ground.

“MOM!” Tracy's father raced over, shotgun in hand. “TRACY!” He went to Frankie and worked the slide on the weapon and he shoved the barrel against Frankie's head. “You better hope she's alright, or you won't live to see tonight.” William put a bit more pressure against Frankie's head, causing the boy to wince in pain. He forced his voice to calm down and he spoke clearly. “Peter, go and call the cops. I got this covered.” He growled. He didn't take his eyes off of his target, a lesson learned in the war.

“Lilly is calling them already.” Conner replied.

Peter began to go to the house and stopped but cast a glance to his friend. “He okay?”

“I don’t know.” Maggie said, trying to move her daughter. As she shifted her, she began to sob quietly. “I just don't know. But go inside and call to make sure an ambulance is on the way.”

“Okay.” Peter replied.

Conner looked at him. "Use the phone in the kitchen." He said before he looked around the backyard saw Vance fighting the third boy, behind his parent's house. He watched as Vance sent a quick right to the boys face, followed by a kick to the gut. As the third attacker slumped to the ground, he called out. “Vance, keep him there.”

“Okay Grandpa.” Vance called back as he threw a kick of his own into the kids body. Almost ten minutes passed till they heard the sounds of the sirens.

~o~O~o~

Maggie sat at the side of Tracy's hospital bed. It was evening now, the sun had set in the sky already. She knew it was just past nine, or was it eight in the evening. She didn't know for sure, it didn't matter. Her bruised cheek had been looked at, but that didn't matter either. She knew Modine had been admitted for the night, due to possible internal injuries. She worried about the older woman, but her main concern was the still form that lay on the bed next to her.

She knew it could be a few hours till her child work up. The doctors had done a lot of work on her. But Maggie was determined to be there when she woke up. She wanted to be the one to tell her child what had happened. She had kept the emotions held back, she needed to be strong for Tracy.

William had been by earlier with Peter and Vance, but he had taken them home. He tried to get her to leave as well, but she refused to leave her daughter all alone. She knew she needed to talk to someone though and the silence was slowly getting to her. So she scooted her chair over and picked up the telephone and began to dial.

A few moments later a familiar, friendly voice sounded in her ear. “Cooper Residence, Shelly speaking.” Maggie couldn't hold the emotions back anymore and she began to cry into the phone. “Hello?” Shelly asked.

“Sorry.” Maggie managed to say. “Sorry Shelly.”

The tone on the other end of the phone went serious. “Maggie, what happened?

“My baby.” Maggie managed to get out.

“Tracy? What happened to her?” Shelly asked.

“They hurt her.” Maggie sobbed into the phone. “They hurt my baby.”

Sorry for the pronoun switching, but as some people know of Tracy and others don't I tired to keep it with how they see and refer to Troy/Tracy. I do promise that the next few chaptrers will get better, I just fewlt this was needed to help get the Bruce story line finished.