KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
June 18th, 2005.
Cleveland, Ohio.
If and when this story hits the wire, the name within the byline will be quite different from the old war horse of a reporter, virtually at death’s door while covering the strangest event, ever to occur in the erratic history of my career.
But although a succession of occult incidents since the early seventies, had nearly caused my demise on more than one occasion, this time, as a pop culture icon proclaimed, It was personal.
Yes, I live to write again. While the aftereffect of my survival was not what this crotchety caretaker of the public trust would have wanted, perhaps it’s better than the other option ... Oblivion.
During my long journalistic trek, through the dark shadows of blood and bureaucracy, the name; Carl Kolchak, was scarcely one to strike fear in most official circles.
Generally it simply created indigestion in the craw of those stout guardians of red tape and rampant non-denial denials. Still, it was mine, and I stood by it under the worst of times, even when it was scribbled in badly iced letters on my farewell cake just four days ago.
June 14th.
Chicago, Illinois.
The building which housed the small offices of INS remained largely unchanged on the outside, though most of the interior trappings of the old wire service were gradually replaced by shiny cubicles and rows of iridescent monitors.
Even the old editor and staff were gone, either shuffled off that mortal coil, or currently playing shuffleboard in retirement heaven.
Tony Vincenzo had made too many trips to Manny’s, his heart finally surrendering over one more corn beef sandwich. Or was it the pickle?
Ms Emily, sweet old gal, had moved to Florida, where she’d made Willard Scott’s list over several more years before passing away peacefully, as was her nature in life, without a fuss.
Ron Updyke had actually married, after moving to NYC for a job with The Wall Street Journal, surrounded by reporters as anal-retentive as himself. As for me? Unlike those aged elephants, who wisely sunk themselves in the primordial tar when their time came, this old bull chose to stay on.
It quickly became apparent to Tony’s young replacement, Jacob Emerson Kane, that it was easier to promote than fire me.
Perhaps he recognized some benefit behind wreaking a few china shops to gain notoriety. So while I received some autonomy in my articles, the grinder of electronic editorship barely left enough grist to raise more than the odd eyebrow.
Over time, however, space was reduced to only infrequent filings from this old dog. The Andy Rooney of print, set against an information age whose blogs dealt in outrages which surpassed even the most controversial of my early work. All too soon, the name of Kolchak prepared to retire quietly from the field of battle.
But even with old dogs, there was still some bite left ...
The festivities surrounding my departure were actually quite touching, the young women dressed in barely more than the tasseled showgirls of my Las Vegas years. They dutifully lined up to deposit generous kisses upon this old wrinkled forehead, some even given sincerely, while Kane gave a short speech praising my relentless dedication to the field of journalism.
A bulldog of tenacity was how he put it, though Vincenzo would have used some saltier language to describe our long love/hate relationship. Still, the recurrent terror had also brought some moments of smug satisfaction. My fond musings, in the face of faint praise, was given a potent jolt from the unexpectedly firm feminine kiss on my dry lips.
What did they say in classic film noir? “The moment she walked into my life, everything changed? “
My moment had been in Las Vegas, and the dame? a slender gal in a sleek golden dress, a hostess in one of the smaller casinos of Sin City. Gail Foster, one hundred and one pounds of unabashed blonde charm and calculated innocence. The single soul whom I’d thought to share my sordid life with, until a rampaging vampire ruined it for both of us.
As a reward for my assistance in helping the bewildered authorities rid themselves of this supernatural threat to life, limb, and city kickbacks, they showed me the road out of town. Likewise, most of my few allies on the strip were firmly asked to leave, and Gail Foster vanished from my life forever. Or so I’d thought.
There was enough of Gail in the young woman smiling down at this seated old fool, she could only have been either a daughter, or very close relation. The bright hazel eyes twinkled with a sardonic wit as her full cheeks dimpled prettily.
“Dad. “
It must have taken too great an effort to keep up the pretense, that melodic throaty voice laughing at the frightened deer expression on my face, even as the office gossips discovered fresh fodder for the water cooler. Still, I could appreciate a good joke even if it was on me, the prankster idly pushing a stray strawberry blonde lock out of her eyes.
“Don’t worry, Mr. Kolchak. I’m not your illegitimate love-child out to collect support. Just a curious girl come to find her mother’s old boyfriend. “ she reassured me, looking as beautiful as Gail, even while clothed in a rather severe tan dress suit.
“I wouldn’t have thought she’d do that without trying to contact me. “ I responded in mild protest. “And I did try to find her after Las Vegas. I put ads in every paper I could find, on both coasts, and in-between ... “
“She really didn’t want ... Look, can we go someplace for a drink? “ this mystery connection to my past requested, suddenly shy around my associates. “I know this is your party, but ... “
“I’ll get my hat. “ I replied quickly, happy for any excuse to escape this maudlin scene before I was required to get weepy. Even as I donned a very battered straw topper,she gave me another Gail smile.
“Mother told me about that, how I’d recognize you.”
“Then we do have a lot to talk about. “ I admitted lightly, ignoring the stares as together we headed for the ancient rickety elevator. “If you don’t mind someplace rather seedy. “
“Lead on, McDuff. “ her cheerful voice declared to my back, oddly comfortable after finally meeting this old suitor of mom’s. But sometimes things just seem right. That was usually before we discover just how wrong they’re about to become.
It was said that that one day, as one of a vanishing species, this ancient reporter, ink stained and foot sore, would pickle himself with a bottle of sour mash bourbon. While I had rarely touched the stuff for many years, today required a return to old habits.
My usual haunt was a dive known as Eddie’s, home to barflies and broken relics such as I. My drinking partner hardly seemed surprised.
“Before things get too stressful, I do have a name. “
“I would hope so. “ I smiled, though it was nearer a grimace than a grin. “She was considerate like that. “
“Don’t be that way. “ scolded the girl lightly. “You don’t know how much you meant to Mom. From what she could tell me, it was just too painful to see you hurt like that. And neither of you needed pity ... “
“Pity?! “
“I’m just saying, she was protecting you as much as you wanted to protect her. And just for the record, my name is Karen Foster Klein. My dad, her husband after a long period of mourning, is Daniel Klein, a dentist from Akron. I’m thirty-two, a graduate of Columbia University in New York City, finished within the top five percentile. I now work as a freelance columnist ... “
“Are you sure you’re not mine. “ I interrupted with bitter irony, wondering what other familiar traits this poor girl had been infected with. “God help you. “
“Well, unless Mom had an unusually long pregnancy, since she’d meet Dad some eight years after Las Vegas, yes ... I’m pretty sure. “ Karen ventured, matching my sour mash tone before letting out a heavy sigh. “And it wasn’t until I’d decided to study journalism that she finally told me about you. “
“So, how is Gail? “
“She knows I came to see you. “ confessed Karen, sounding contrite for the first time. “I suppose a rather routine life was comfort for her. Mom won’t call you, Carl. But after I get back, we might find an excuse for you two to talk ... “
“And what was the real reason you wanted to see me ? “ I asked bluntly, feeling she was being a bit evasive. “It wasn’t just about mending fences, now was it? “
Karen Klein, the daughter that might have been, looked like a naughty child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. More than a little red-faced, she told me about the peculiar episode which began her own odyssey into the unknown.
June 9th.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Karen would have done this would be dad proud, the way she’d dove into her studies. Apprenticed to The New York Times with such enthusiasm, she’d actually gotten feature bylines on several major consumer fraud pieces, well before most of her class-mates.
Following in my favorite pastime of tilting windmills, she chose the role of advocacy correspondent after graduation.
She clocked only a year on the New York beat before moving to Cleveland, earning a sweet syndication deal for distribution on the eastern seaboard, as well as Ohio, Pennsylvania and Illinois.
It was no small irony that a number of her stories had passed through our service, perhaps even right under my nose. Still, her confident beauty and precise elocution prompted the downtrodden to seek her out, and suspect services to shut their doors at her approach.
But until early June, the assorted scams, defective products, and sordid business dealings, rarely strayed from the conventional. That was when Karen got a call from an old friend.
The search for eternal health and youthful vitality was as profitable as it had been in my time, the charlatans as plentiful, the information superhighway offering new avenues to the procurers of snake oil remedies. Still, the old often represented itself with pleasing new faces ...
From Karen Klein’s unpublished notes:
Jillian Crane, a voice from the past, privileged prom princess who’d married badly after high school. She’d been petite, impossibly slender, very blonde, and somehow friends with this former yearbook geek.
Jillian said it was because I gave her good ink, who ever talked like that? on some school play she’d done. And to return the favor she took me in hand, as she put it, dragging me on shopping expeditions, and to some parties I wouldn’t have gone to otherwise.
Though I was hardly the social pariah she tried to make me out to be, it did open up some interesting options down the road, so I suppose it did me some good after all. After graduation, we went our separate ways. The last word I’d had on her was several years ago, and that was on CNN News.
Jillian had gone to a prestige college somewhere in New England, met an up n coming assemblyman, and married into her future role as First Lady, or at the very least Mrs. Senator. But only a short time later, this aloof but otherwise inoffensive woman found herself a victim in a regional political potboiler.
I won’t rehash the specifics, happening as it did when every other eastern state governor seemed caught in a corruption scandal. The pay to play schemes, the surfacing of the obligatory mistress, though in this particular case, it wasn’t a Ms, and Jillian became the long suffering wife, smiling gamely for the camera.
She eventually vanished quietly from the headlines, with hurtful rumors and innuendo hinting at a sizable settlement for her to do so. I’d heard that Jillian finally moved back home, dabbling in real estate sales, and dotting on her two daughters.
Jillian also, apparently, tried hard to regain some of that social standing she’d enjoyed before her world fell apart, going to some interesting lengths to do so. She eventually had to pay the piper for the attempt.
It was late Thursday morning I got the call, after putting the finishing touches to an Op-Ed piece about defunct and dangerous amusement park rides. Jillian’s voice at the other end was trying for a casual tone, but she failed miserably.
“I’ve been touching base with some of the girls from our old clique. “ she explained, more than a tiny tremble behind the strained cordiality. “Your name is in the papers all the time, and I was wondering ... “
“Wondering? “ I’d spent too long among some quite skilled liars, not to know that Jillian was fishing for the courage to ask my advice. Concerning what, I couldn’t guess.
“Would you be free for lunch? Today? “ she finally blurted out, the line crackling slightly, or was that her voice? “ Geno’s about noon? “ I ventured without hesitation, my girlish, as well as my journalistic curiosity aroused.
“My treat, of course. “ Jillian added gratefully, openly disturbed by whatever news she wanted to share. “And Karen? “
“Yes? “
“Thank you so much in advance. It’s important to me that you come. “
Geno’s Bistro was main stream Italian, barely, done up in the stereotypical checkered curtains and table cloths, canned Sinatra and like crooners playing on satellite radio in the background. But the food was decent enough, and they had a nice outdoor area for warm days like today.
When Jillian finally arrived, it was as if a shadow settled over our table, the immaculate looking woman deeply stressed as she plopped down in the faux iron wrought chair.
“It’s been too long. “ my greeting was rather weak, even as her appearance surprised me more than little. “You look great, Jillian. “
For someone whose life thus far, had been less than settled, Jillian Crane looked beyond great. Nearly picture perfect, with no signs of the knife, anywhere.
She was dressed in sensible but still sensual clothes for the weather, a light beige blouse, translucent enough to outline her cream demi bra,the modest denim skirt falling mid thigh.
Her face, while obstinately middle aged, had a strong glow of returning youth to the lean cheeks, the haggard emerald eyes sparkling with a strange vitality.
“Thanks. “ Jillian didn’t sound too convinced, the worry lines around those stunning eyes ruining this flawless picture. Still, I hadn’t come to indulge in such catty critique, not when she was so troubled.
“How’s your family? Your girls? “
“Lily just turned five, she’s started a summer dance class. “ there was a return to the old Jillian in her prime, happy when talking about her babies. “She’s so funny, pirouetting about the family room. And Lizzie, Elizabeth ... “
She faltered, choosing her next words carefully, but I couldn’t let her back off that easily.
“Jillian, just tell me. We both know you want to get this off your chest. Is it something to do with Elizabeth? Is she in trouble? “
There was an all too human struggle going on, weighing her options, deciding whether to trust the friend from long ago, or distrust the reporter she’d become.
“I believe my daughter is going to die, “ Jillian blurted out unexpectedly. “ and when she does, it will be my fault. “
Pain was created from the fitness fads of the past thirty years. What was once poison lessened the age lines on our faces. Millions of dollars went into the coffers of self styled gurus who promised a centered self. And among the oddest programs to emerge out of this sea of self loathing, was an internet temple known as Janus ReGen Institute, it’s motto ‘Exordium Requiro An Terminus.’
“It was really hard, trying to rebuild my life after the scandal. “ Jillian explained, while passing me some pictures of herself and the girls.
The Jillian in the photographs was so different from what she’d become, a real woman worn at the edges. Still, even with the fine wrinkled laugh lines, the slight droop beneath bright eyes, her daughters love for their beleaguered mother chased away some of the ghosts.
But apparently it wasn’t enough for Jillian.
“People can be cruel. “
“Those who were my friends, those few who truly were my friends, didn’t know how to handle me when I came home. Those who were my husband’s friends ... well, they made it nearly impossible to establish my credentials other than as sorry backstabbing bitch! “ she told me angrily.
“It took me almost two years to find even a few clients who didn’t see me as a cliché. I’d looked into some minor surgery, maybe, botox for my worry lines, shopped around for a mentor of any kind to straighten out my bruised psyche. But after attending numerous business and personal image seminars, it seemed as though I’d exhausted my options. “
Her two little girls, Lily in a simple pale yellow sundress, her sturdy body still clinging to baby fat, but that round face simply adorable, framed by a short pageboy crop of sandy hair. Liz, now eight, already showed signs of that spitting image of Jillian she’d have in her teen years. Mother and daughters seemed to reflect a happy family.
“How did you become involved with Janus Regen? “ I asked gently, feeling a touch of the mother myself. I wanted to make sure nothing happened to these two precious girls.
“You’ll laugh. “ Jillian rolled her eyes somewhat. “It was Caroline Mayfair, Carol The Chunk? “
“Jillian! “
“I know, I know, she really wasn’t. But like you said, people can be cruel. “ Jillian rejoined, affecting a melancholy smile at private memories.
“Still, while she started out as a joke, it was soon enough turned around on us. Carol ended up married to Brian McBride, heir to McBride Pharmacy chain? And she married well, apparently the two of them are very much in love. “
“Didn’t she used to tutor him in algebra? “ I’d asked with some incredulity. While not morbidly obese, Carol did stretch the limits of a full figure somewhat. But it was a strange world, and about to get stranger.
“Evidently that wasn’t all, but that’s not the point. “ Jillian continued, sparing an odd glance over her right shoulder. “It was not long after my homecoming that I bumped into Caroline at the downtown mall. In spite of everything, she was truly glad to see me, and as I shared my problems over a latte, Caroline was very sympathetic. “
Janus ReGen, came out of nowhere two years ago, originally a rumor on the web, of a unique counseling site coupled with a holistic regimen of herbs and oils. But while it seemed perfectly tailored for mainstream consumption, evidently the group only catered to a quite select clientele.
“Caroline looked perfect, though she was still a somewhat husky woman. “ Jillian told me. “But it was as if the Janus program had idealized the image, like retouching a photograph. According to her, Janus had saved a stale marriage bed, had revitalized both of them and ironed out the kinks. Brian was more of a go getter in his dad’s company, and Caroline ... “
“turned you on to Janus. “
Jillian grimaced, absently twirling a strand of angel hair on her plate. “It’s not that easy to join the program. Except if you have a sponsor. “
She handed me a deep black business card, with a slick glossy surface. Apart from ReGen with a Latin script beneath in golden embossed letters, there was only a simple web address on the other side. I gave Jillian a quizzical look.
“She didn’t explain a lot, at first. Just told me to log on and Janus ReGen would do the rest. “
“And what did they do? “
“Karen, they knew me, from the first key stroke. And this was only typing in the Url. As soon as I’d found the site, a script message appeared welcoming Jillian Crane, guest of supplicant, Caroline Mayfair. “
she shivered almost imperceptibly at the memory. But sometimes vanity overrode fear.
As she explained it to me, Janus requested she pass through the portal, in this case a high rez amorphous golden shimmer on her monitor, requiring only a finger touch to signify consent.
From there, the laurel bordered web pages lead her through a series of questions, very specific to Jillian’s life thus far. With each, she was asked to supplicate herself, repeating the phrase ‘Exordium Requiro An Terminus.’
By the end of the session, she was strangely elated, even as Janus sent her a list of instructions, to be used with the package of herbs and oils being express mailed to her home address. For the next three months, she was to do exactly what was required, and when her boon was granted, payment would be due.
“It sounds like a hacker prank. “ I was annoyed that Jillian would call me for something like this. “Caroline could have sent them your personal information, and any number of Trojan viruses could have done the rest ... “
“I’m not an idiot, despite what people might say about me! “ she shot back angrily.
There was fear behind the vitriol, but also terrible disappointment in my skepticism. “This was from my work station at the office, and I had a tech professional put in some serious protection, just so some geek wouldn’t go joyriding with client files. “
“Ok, I’m sorry. “ I soothed her, not yet convinced. “So, what happened next? “
“Two days later I received a UPS parcel, containing a set of nine glass vials. Each one contained either crumbles of leaf, or a citrus scented oil.
"According to the instructions, during the concurrent lunar cycles,I was to drink a tea made from the leaves in one vial, from breakfast to dinner.
"At moonrise, I would find a secluded spot to strip down, caress my body with the oil from a single vial, and recite this prayer.
'Janus petitions Artemis to favor this supplicant. ‘Exordium Requiro An Terminus.’ “
“And you did all this? “
“It couldn’t hurt. At least that’s what I thought when I started. “ she explained carefully, as if trying to describe some irresponsible act to a disbelieving parent. “And it was kinda exciting, after being so straight-laced and responsible.
"The first night, the moonlight seemed to reflect off my glistening skin, almost as if it was bathed in an inner glow. I tingled with a pleasure I hadn’t felt for far too long ... “
“And when did the changes begin. “
“It took time. “ Jillian admitted sheepishly, touching her face almost protectively. “But after that first night, it was as though the inner glow had become a permanent part of me. In my actions, in my thoughts, my dealings with other people. My outward appearance didn’t really begin to take hold until near the end of the treatments. “
“And then payment became due? “ I saw that Jillian was ready. Ready for what, precisely, I couldn’t say.
“Before that, there was Caroline. “ she answered tearfully, “And her baby. “
“She had a baby? “
“It was why she’d looked so fat when we’d met. She was just a few months from her due date, but it was anything but a happy event for her. Caroline miscarried during the last lunar cycle.“ answered Jillian, clearly thinking of her own little girls now. “And as I know now, she understood exactly what boon was required by Janus. “
“And you believe that this cult now wants your elder daughter? “ I counseled her somewhat pompously. “Jillian. Stillbirths are not uncommon, especially among women who might have the weight problems she had. Why would this have anything to do with you? or Liz? “
“Because shortly after the death, I went back to Janus on a hunch. Caroline’s name wasn’t there. But mine was, and a statement that payment would be due.
"This was just the other day, at moon waning. My offering is to be presented no later than the end of the next two cycles. “
“And how do you know it’s Liz that they’re after? “ I pressed, idly offering Jillian a tissue to dab her eyes.
“Because of the questionnaire, because as much as I love both children, Lizzy will always be my firstborn, and Janus knows that ... “
“As God said to Abraham. “ I murmured softly, and she nodded vigorously. “And I need your help to stop this. I’ll pay anything ... “
“I can’t say I understand, Jillian. “ she was clearly distraught, and I was still inclined to think this whole thing as a fantasy. But her plea for help touched my crusader’s sensibilities. If Janus was playing at some blackmail scheme, it was my job to investigate. “But give me the card, and I’ll see what I can do. “
June 14th.
Chicago, Illinois.
Karen ordered another drink, downing it with one deft motion, her pretty eyes narrowing in a study of my reaction to her story.
How could she know, how easily this all came back to me, the first blind step into darkness? The tantalizing promise of a scoop to elevate ones’ career to Pulitzer Prize level, or drop it back down into that dismal pit of hack journalism.
“So? What do you think, Carl? “ she asked, waiting for a scornful response. I smiled softly.
“This sounds vaguely familiar. Sometime you should ask me about the strange stories I’ve covered. But for now, please, go on. How did a web site in Cleveland lead you here? “
Seeing only respectful interest in my face, Karen relaxed, happy to find a fellow believer in this sour old reporter.
“The first thing I did was call in a favor with a chemist friend working in the municipal crime lab, and together we went over the card Jillian had given me.
"Nothing unusual was found. Brad even tested for odd electro-magnetic variants, but it was simply a regular business card. Then I finally tried to access the site itself ... “
Karen Klein’s journal;
Jillian was right about one thing. I had always seriously underestimated her.
As rough as her logic was, there was no reason why Carol should have lost her baby.
After a little snooping, I’d found nothing in her history to suggest any serious risk factors toward carrying a child to term. But nothing smacked of the supernatural, and I was prepared to pass on Jillian’s fears as some kind of sympathetic psychosis. Still, the whole Janus scam ... well, I had to find out just what was going on, didn’t I?
Even at first glance, the welcome page was anything but. My initial reaction was that it was a simple ink black screen, yet there was a subtle swirling motion, almost hypnotic, like the colored dye affect in some cheesy sci-fi movie.
If there was some subliminal messaging going on, perhaps it easily influenced certain individuals.
“Karen Foster Klein, “ as Jillian had said, it was surprising how quickly the system grabbed the identity of the user. But while I likewise kept my anti intrusion programs updated, new viruses and troublesome codes popped up almost daily. Perhaps Janus knew I was coming.
“your presence is not welcome. “
Nothing would have been better than something, at least where this AI was concerned, as I felt encouraged by it’s response. I always detested closed doors, and having Janus try to shut me down only inspired me to go further.
“What did curiosity do for the cat? “
It asked me a question, as if reading my mind. Like some psychiatric programs from the mid eighties, cued responses recalled from an online inventory, it all depended on predictability from the respondent.
“I suppose it got a free trip to Disney World. “ I typed in, waiting for the electronic mind scramble to begin. “The Cat has nine lives, after all. And Josie had her pussy cats. “
“As amusing as this is, it doesn’t address the question. “ typical mimic response but then it got truly dark. “But the story was never the issue, rather it was the quest itself. Did Gale teach you that? or someone else? Someone you’ve yet to meet. Perhaps we might be able to fulfill this supplicant’s petition. “
“You’ll answer all my questions? “ I was more than half convinced this had to be a live connection, the exchange too fluid and spontaneous. If I could save the dialog ...
“Not quite. “ Janus told me bluntly, all the while that golden script softly shimmering with a naturalistic hue,unlike any display I’d ever seen. “You will discover a different truth. Your petition has been accepted. “
The screen went dark once more, this time with an absoluteness to signify end of discussion. I tried for several more minutes to reconnect, but Janus was done with me for the present.
I,on the other hand, was far from finished. Now I was just plain mad.
Arthur T. Faber, the quintessential geek, an instructor at Case Western, was the cyber net answer to Sherlock Holmes, specializing in decryption protocols which frankly scared the hell out of me. But he seemed to have a soft spot for fox journalists, as he tagged me, and had helped out with several online frauds.
“The deal with a complex interface like this is, that unless you’re ... well, someone like me or close to it, you need a lot of help to keep the whole system from crashing. “ he explained with his usual lack of modesty.
As he pushed his half rim glasses back up his long narrow face, his only concession to style, Faber frowned somewhat.
We’d been trying to crack the Janus code for hours, but even using every trick he knew, the wall refused to fall. As he said, the only programs which came close were serious black ops, and those were largely hypothetical.
“The best I can do at this point is to try and back track to the source. “ he explained cautiously in dark frustration. “If I can’t unlock the door, I could at least, possibly, get you a physical location. “
“Arthur, you’re a prince among programmers. “ I gushed happily, giving him a small peck on a sweaty cheek. “Whatever you can get for me, I appreciate it. “
“Enough for dinner and a movie? Or something like that? “ his earnest advance made me smile. Faber’s intense obsession paid very well, and perhaps he was less a rent a wreck than a fixer upper. We could work on that before any date ...
“We’ll discuss it over coffee, after I’m done with this. “ I promised.
“Then I’ll hurry, and we can get to it sooner. “ he joked. At least I thought it was a joke.
“That’s sweet, Arthur, thank you. “ I was more than half convinced he’d have the information for me that night, and I wasn’t far wrong. But in the meantime I’d other fish to fry.
I visited another source on campus, armed with only a vague reference, but he was less than helpful.
At first all I got was a smart ass suggestion that perhaps I was too old for fairy tales. Eventually he mentioned a name nearly legendary in some circles. An ancient history instructor teaching out of that Ohio bastion of liberal arts, Oberlin College.
Not at all surprising amidst the strangeness thus far, he was known to both student and faculty alike as simply, The Professor.
“Of course I’ve heard of Janus ReGen, Ms Klein. “ he told me sagely, after politely dismissing some rather attractive female students from his office. “Being a fan of the old Gods, I do try to keep track of their various incarnations, even when corrupted by the popular media. “
“We’re talking about a very odd , perhaps dangerous business concern here. “ I interrupted rather brusquely. “As much as I need your expertise on what Janus is, I didn’t mean to imply a literal connection. “
“The curse of our age, “ The Professor laughed, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “is that we lose the pure joy of wonder all too soon.
"The ancients did something which we find hard to do. They looked to the natural world to reveal itself,gilding the borders of the unexplained with gold and oak leaf. Indeterminacy has its pleasures, and its pain. “
“And you contribute this to Janus as a God of Duality? “ I countered, his grin ever wider as he shook his head.
“More like a conduit of change, as the simple Freudian explanations fall apart under tight scrutiny. He is the portal, but that covers alot territory. Not just Alpha and Omega, but all the grey areas in-between.“
“I’m not quite sure I follow? “
The Professor rolled his eyes, as if I were a prize pupil giving a sub standard response on one of his tests.
“ ‘Yes or No. ‘ is that what we’re restricted to, Ms Klein? One door closes and another opens? Now imagine as that portal shuts, you find yourself in a hallway full of doors? Instead of a single option, you’re given a multitude of choices, along with their consequences. “
“And Janus offers both action and after affect. Or inaction and after affect? Professor, what does ‘Exordium Requiro An Terminus.’ mean to you? “
“ ‘To seek the Beginning ‘, or perhaps ‘The Beginning requires an end. ‘ depending upon the ultimate goal of the initiate or supplicant. “ he murmured softly. “A bit old school, since Life is largely reliant upon cycles of some kind or another. Often the very old or young are sacrificed in order to close the circle. A predatory act, if you will. “
“And given the arbitrary nature of Janus, “ I felt engaged in spite of myself. “ how would a supplicant couch his, or her, request? How could you hope to get anything but chaos in return for any petition? “
“If you could be more specific? “ The Professor intoned, giving me an expectant gaze. You have something in mind? More than just a casual debate ... “
“Of course, Professor. “ I reluctantly handed over my notes thus far. “It is a matter of confidence, I’m sure you understand. “
“As always, especially in the presence of pretty young ladies, I’m most discreet. “ he promised with a saucy wink and a nod. But as The Professor began to skim my longhand, he got quite serious.
“You can see my problem, Professor. “ I remarked far too lightly.
“Indeed. “ he rejoined, studying everything but my face, perhaps trying to find a hidden camera somewhere. “Though given the near infinite facets of the World Wide Web, I’d be amazed that it took so long. “
“For the Gods to find a home in cyberspace? If we believe this to be the case. “
“You’re not the skeptic you claim to be, Ms Klein. “ he scolded me. “And I’ve never been that convinced the denizens of Mt Olympus really left us. Perhaps the electronic ether isn’t that different from the void, and retirement might chaff for some deities. “
“But why now, and why this way? “ I couldn’t quite let go, imagining that once I started down that road, it would never end. “I mean, what does it benefit an all powerful God to run an online help site? “
“How do we know Proctor & Gamble doesn’t really front for Phoebus? “ The Professor challenged me. “How can we be sure that many contemporary institutions haven’t propagated new venues of worship for the Olympians? “
“I just need to know how to stop it, if I can ever figure out where it is. Because Jillian believes, and while she does, her daughter is in grave danger. “
“No matter how attractive the internet might be, there should be a tangible temple somewhere. “ mused The Professor. “Of course it could be anywhere. Any city, any town. But how does one challenge the will of a God? “
“Yes? “
“Make a better offer. But be prepared for the fireworks if he doesn’t take it. “
I got home late, The Professor and I arguing the finer points of his philosophy over pizza and red wine at his on-campus crib.
While he was unwilling to step back from the notion that any direct challenge would end badly, he was intrigued that Janus seemed to encourage my attempt to try.
“I have to wonder what he wants from you. And just what precisely was your petition? If you can discover that, it could well be the key to undo circumstance and coincidence. It’s a slim chance, but if consequence falls apart ... “
Even as I understood his point, The Professor advanced a more intimate choice, ventured by superior laughing eyes.
But the softer moment was interrupted by a low buzz from my cell phone, and I had to check it.
I did feel slightly guilty upon seeing several text messages from Arthur. As intellectually seductive as The Professor was, there were miles to go before any promises could be kept.
He took the disappointment with good humor, grasping my hand at the door and gallantly kissing it.
“Despite my doom and gloom, don’t take all of it to heart, Karen. “ chuckled the mythologist. “The Gods do recognize valiant effort, from time to time. That’s your weapon of choice, I think. Keep your motives pure, and I look forward to continuing our discussion, at a later date. “
Just past one in the morning, I was unlocking the door to my small apartment when Arthur phoned me again.
“Where were you? I’ve been trying to get you since 8 o’clock. “ he demanded as I picked up.
“I do have this job, Arthur. “ my frustrated libido annoyed by this onslaught of would be lotharios. “I’ve had a long day chasing contacts, so if you could back off abit ... “
“Sorry. “ he sounded like a pouting little boy. “I got the information you wanted, and I thought it was important ... “
“Arthur. “ I warned, wanting the data without all this bratty baggage. “I appreciate your hard work. I’m just tired and cranky right now, so if you don’t mind ... “
“I managed to decode a subroutine which was hardly the skeleton key we hoped to find. However,it did allow me to narrow my search quite a bit.
"It was a staggered trail which lead me on a merry chase, through several systems on the east coast, down through Mexico and looping back into Texas. It terminated somewhere in Illinois, though the online address doesn’t jive with any RW location registered in the area given. “
“Well, what city is this system in? “
“It says Chicago, but that covers all the boroughs and then some, out to a radius of forty miles. “ he told me. “It could be a dummy address, but I don’t think so. The routing code ends with this system. Does this mean ‘No Coffee? ‘ “
“Make mine an espresso with just a touch of cinnamon. But we’ll have to defer it till later. “ my mind was tripping as this new set of circumstances fell into place. “I’ll let you treat when I get back from Chicago, OK? “
He sulked at not getting his prize that night, but I managed to sooth his hurt ego somewhat before finally disconnecting.
If the information I was after wasn’t on the net, I needed a native guide to explore the paper trails in the windy city’s archives. Thanks to Mom, I knew just the man for the job.
June 14th.
Chicago, Illinois.
Karen Foster Klein, lovely crusading journalist, gave me a questioning look from across the small rickety table. If she was expecting derision from my corner, well, I’d been down that road far too many times myself.
“So, some old Greek whose-it .. “
“Actually I think he’s Roman, Carl. “
“Some Roman God is causing a fuss in Cleveland, and perhaps even some ruckus here as well, if we snoop around long enough. “ my soft spoken musing raised an eyebrow from Karen, and it amused me more than just a little.
“It wouldn’t be the first time, not for this old news hound, in any case. “
“You’re joking, Carl. “ she wasn’t quite sure if I was pulling her pretty leg. “Aren’t you? “
“A vain woman named Helen asked the Gods to preserve her beauty, using a electronic dating service to suck the youth from her very select clientele. That was just over thirty years ago. “ I chuckled dryly, recalling their stormy displeasure when Helen’s offerings proved to be less than perfect.
“I never knew any of this! “ Karen exclaimed. “Mom never told me any of this ... “
“This happened long after your mother and I parted company. “ I answered ruefully. “And everything’s recorded on tape with some of it transcribed to paper, all locked away in a safety deposit box. I keep thinking about publishing, but who would believe it? “
“Nowadays, it’s ridiculously easy to find your audience. “ she laughed, a great weight lifted by my confession. “If not in the bookstore, then on the web. I’d read them, for sure. “
“Then I’ll be sure you get access. “ it tickled my cynic’s nature, those bright eyes excited at the prospect of delving into the mystery which was Carl Kolchak. “But we have some work to do in the meantime.
Still, it’s late, and you look like you need some crash space. “
“I am a little wiped, Carl. “ Karen admitted with a tired grimace.
“My bed is lumpy, but if you don’t mind ... “ I offered, wondering at how easy this paternal concern came to me.
“Lead on, McDuff. “
By the time we’d reached my place, just around the corner from Eddie’s, Karen was dragging her feet slightly. I easily took the overnight bag and laptop from her, gently pushing her toward the bedroom. “I do have fresh sheets if you want em, and the bath is down the hall ... “
She’d found the overstuffed mattress, making it her own, and I simply pulled off her shoes before closing the door. While Sleeping Beauty slumbered, this old frog began a series of calls, reaching out to touch my contacts and find her mysterious address.
June 15th ,
Karen Klein’s journal;
My hangover was blissfully mild, as the clatter of dishes woke me from what evidently had been a wild sleep. A stocking foot dangled lazily off the side of the fat mattress, my hair tangled as I tried to get up too quickly and failed miserably.
After the long drive, and then drinking ‘God only knows what. ‘ with Carl, I hadn’t had that much trouble holding my booze since college. It took a few minutes more to reorient myself, but breathing deeply, my feet found the floor with only a little effort.
The dear old man was defunctly domestic, but it was the thought that counted as he smiled ruefully at my entrance. “I don’t entertain much. “
Breakfast was a bag of bagels, with fixings and coffee from the corner deli. While the spread was set out on nice plates, it was all assembled rather haphazard.
“I’ll take the coffee, Carl. As for the rest, it looks great. “
Evidently quite the night owl, he’d been burning the midnight oil, arranging a meeting for us with one of his contacts.
“Morris Goodall is a bit off. “ Carl apologized in advance. “But he’s spent a lot of time buried in the basement of City Planner’s offices. There’s a rumor he hasn’t seen the light of day since 1997, and that was for an appendectomy. “
“And he can help us? “ I mumbled through a mouthful of onion and cream cheese.
“Let’s just say, “ replied my associate with a dry chuckle. “where the super information highway ends, that where his world begins. And mine too, I suppose. You ready to take a ride with me? “
“Just let me freshen up a bit. “ My center restored with food and caffeine. Alittle water, a touch of makeup, a brisk brush through my hair, and I was good to go.
Riding with Carl made me reevaluate certain things I usually took for granted ... like breathing. While his navigation skills were still excellent, I suspected the rest of it would be up for review in a couple years.
But even with a few close calls, we managed to reach our destination in one piece.
Once out from behind the wheel, however, the old man returned to type, amazing to watch as he bullied security on the way to the elevators. What I would’ve given to have seen him at the height of his hubris.
“There’s really no deep dark conspiracy here. “ Carl told me sardonically. “I just like to keep them from thinkin ol Kolchak’s gone soft. “
“Anything but. “ I murmured to myself, hoping I’d have half of his bottomless confidence when I reached his age.
It was a blinding revelation that I understood part of what mother must have felt. It really surprised me that it meant a great deal we were on this crusade, together.
June 15th.
Karen was oddly quiet as we entered the subterranean chill of the archives, ancient enough that the musk of settled air startled our noses. I didn’t tell her that I felt as dusty as the dead files, obsolete before the new technology.
Morris was almost an antique himself. He was a gnomish thin man, hunkered behind his desk, custodian of the long rows of binders, leather bound text, nearly the whole architectural and zoning history of Chicago.
His long bony face, brilliant gaze hid by oversized owl glasses, glanced up at us, a great toothy grin at Karen’s approach.
“Kolchak, “ his whispery voice greeted me, standing to full five foot height to offer a leathery hand to my pretty cohort. “and this must be Ms Klein. I didn’t realize you knew any respectable journalists ... “
“Funny. “
“You’ve read my stuff, Mr. Goodall? “ she asked politely, sparing me a saucy wink.
“The darling of the underdog, and last hope of the unappreciated. “ he quoted like an exuberant fan boy. “I only wish you’d do more articles about the dismal state of Historic Preservation these days ... “
“As a matter of fact. “ she rejoined cheerfully, ignoring that he still held her hand after the introduction. “That’s exactly what Mr. Kolchak and I are about, and why we came. If you could identify a place for us? We can’t quite find it from other sources, so if you could ... “
“Not surprising. “ Morris retorted, though not to Karen directly. “Every so often we have some students come down here on research. They go through the archives with the aim to transfer it to the new media.
"Once it was microfilm, now it’s the web. They’re always missing stuff, so my job’s still secure. “
“Can you find this address? “
Morris reluctantly let go to accept the slip of paper from her free hand. “Already intrigued, Ms Klein. Especially since the numbers are all wrong.“
“Pardon? “
“Firstly, this is a surveyed zone, not an address. Also, it’s written in pre-1908 code, prior to a severe realignment of streets and neighborhoods. I can’t quite see how your lot would get so lost that an online search wouldn’t turn it up, but we’ll see ... now that’s interesting“
Goodall’s apple wrinkled face gained a whole extra set as he grinned impishly, playing ‘I’ve got a secret. ‘ with two bemused reporters. As patient as Karen seemed to be under the circumstances, I was decidedly less so.
“What is it, Morris? I don’t have alot of time left. “
“Half a moment. “
He deftly disappeared into the stacks.
“Morris? “
We heard the moving of books, and a few odd grunts before the little librarian reappeared with a short stack in his earnest grip. “Kolchak? Ms Klein? I really do think you’re going to like this. “ Morris chortled.
June 15th .
Karen Klein’s Journal, final entry;
On the move once more, Carl indulged in a boyish display of sharp enthusiasm.
Clearly his eccentric sense of irony was aroused, which by equal measure was both annoying to and contagious for his partner.
“Kolchak, you old fool, you stepped in it again. “ he cackled, shaking his head slowly as we headed along the west river. “And all this time we blame our messes on crooked politics and old cows. “
I couldn’t quite share the joke, not with a young life on the line, but perhaps a certain gallows humor should exert itself about now.
Still, his macabre musings echoed The Professor’s remarks about cyclical fate as we revisited the neighborhood where that famous spark first set Chicago’s historic blaze in motion. Now, if Arthur and Morris were correct, the unassuming business, a mix of old masonry and modern glass facade, was the home to a very different kind of fire.
“So how do we handle this, Carl? “ I asked politely, trying hard not to snicker at the clearly nonchalant attitude of this elder reporter.
Partly it was the annoying feeling of being an interloper in his world, an unreal territory far beyond my more grounded experiences. The rest was a vague suspicion which was confirmed by his sweetly sour smirk.
“Young Lady? At this point, I’m winging it. “
“Well, “ I decided, opening the passenger side door impulsively. “I’m in the mood to do some window shopping. “
Janus ReGen had the air of a fly by night operation, it’s legend, hastily painted block letters on the wide glass window front.
I couldn’t brush aside the impression that our visit was anticipated, peering through at the long unadorned counter, a row of linked chairs sitting hopeful, though no client could breach the padlocked front door.
“Shall we see if there’s a back door? “ suggested Carl, so gleeful that I figured him for a reprobate from way back.
“Carefully though. “ I cautioned, the lunch time bustle in full swing now. “We don’t want to be mistaken for burglars. “
Almost as I spoke, we heard the deep throated rumble of a small truck throttling down, the hiss of air brakes as it turned into an alley to our right. The timing appeared impeccable and more than a little improbable, but we take our leads where we can -
Carl was already gearing up to engage the burly pair, but I placed a hand on his arm and offered my most feminine smile as if to say. “It’s my turn. “
Erin Brockovich, that accidental crusader, had once told a reporter she had two invaluable assets in uncovering the truth. Of course by now everyone knew what she meant, though the world was honestly too cynical to fall for such cheap theatrics. Or was it?
Good sturdy Italian men, no nonsense under most circumstances but melted like butter before a pretty face, I didn’t even undo one button to solicit information from them. Unfortunately what they gave wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.
“Sorry sweetheart, we’d really like to help you out, ya know? “ said the old man, Georgie, still trying to peer through my blouse with his x-ray eyes. “But we’re just contracted to make deliveries to this address. There’s not even a real warehouse, just a half dozen venders who likewise have nothing at do with Janus. “
“But who signs off on the order? “ I pressed, pouting my lips slightly. “You guys just drop it off in the alley? What if someone takes em? “
“Honey, you can get probably most of this stuff at any supermarket or flower shop. “ chuckled the younger man, barely out of his teens. “Who’s gonna fence laurel leaf or extra virgin olive oil? Besides, everything’s cleared electronically, we use a pass key to put the boxes just inside. “
“We’d love ta chat all day with you, yer very cute, but we’re kinda on a schedule here. “ the elder delivery man interrupted somewhat testily, exchanging odd looks with his partner.
“If you wanta talk more, or something, we could meet later. I know this bar not far from here … “
I was only half listening, distracted as I was by the sight of Carl making odd hand gestures, a kind of scything motion which I couldn’t quite decipher until I saw the kid slip an unremarkable plastic card into a door slot.
In addition to the regular bolt mechanism, there was a flat metal plate in the jam, clearly meant to frustration any ordinary burglar.
“Well, “ I cooed, feeling very silly, leaning back against the wall as I covertly slipped my wallet out of my small purse. “that sounds nice. Of course I can’t promise I can make it … “
“Sure, sure. “ soothed the senior easily, obviously the self styled player of his day. “But you show up by eight tonight, we’ll treat you, OK? It’s a nice place called Sophie’s, five blocks south. Now we gotta lock up here, hon. Step back from there. “
It was tricky enough, timing it so that I could play my card without the two Romeos noticing, but I had hopes the lack of a solid click meant my misdirection would bear fruit. Perhaps olives or pomegranates.
Regardless, even as I waved sweetly to speed my new boyfriends departure, they would have to be disappointed as Carl and I had other plans … such as breaking and entering.
June 17th.
How quickly two days fly by, especially after that strange encounter on the evening of the 15th left me in a shape I’d never expected, and poor Karen …
I sit in her apartment, staring at alien mementos of a life thrust upon me, knowing that our places shouldn’t have been so violently exchanged, that the Fates or Gods could be so blasé about this old man and a foolish brave young woman.
Thanks to Karen’s quick thinking we’d gained entry into Janus ReGen, though quite rightfully she suggested we find some food and drink nearby to wait out the business rush.
She and I shared more small talk, mostly on my part, filling her in on the oddest adventures of my eclectic career path. It felt somewhat cathartic to find at least a good listener if not a fellow believer in those pretty eyes.
“You lead such a lonely life, Carl. “ she sighed, reaching across that mahogany table top to give my wrinkled hand a platonic squeeze. “Sure, you had contacts, some friends, but little satisfaction … “
“Till now, you mean? “ I chuckled before grimacing painfully. I spoke to Karen but I was thinking about Gale. “But don’t you feel sorry for me, youngster. No way old Kolchak’s going down that road. There’s too much water under the bridge to start any pity parade now. So just stop it! “
“Yes, sir. “ she laughed at my stubbornness, easily falling back to stalwart, albeit a shapely brilliant comrade. “So are we ready to soldier on? It’s almost ten … “
Her instincts unerring, we found the business still buttoned up tight, save for the alley door which was held unlocked by one of Karen’s credit cards. But despite the deserted look, we discovered upon entering that appearances were deceptive, the packages brought by that afternoon were gone.
At closer examination, what was an empty space was less so as Karen shone a pen light at the far wall. What had been only blank white space shimmered, like her description of the Janus ReGen web site.
If I’d been more cynical, perhaps things might have turned out differently.
We might not have passed through the veil into that antechamber, two reporters driven by the wellspring of our passion … an insatiable need to know.
The transition was jarring, as if there was a vacuum of air for less than a second, both of us gasping, though as much by the ornate surroundings as suffocation.
It was almost like stepping back several thousand years, and yet the circular room was lined with countless wall monitors, half concealed by gossamer drapes as they observed seemingly mundane human activity.
In the middle, however, was a raised dais of three tiers, some four feet high, ringed by four short marble pillars upon which were busts of the same androgynous head neither male nor female. Forever youthful, crowned by carefully sculpted ringlets, the alabaster faces wore different expressions of Humanity, from placid to passionate, fearful to stern.
“Welcome, Ms. Klein. “ echoed a chorus which seemed to erupt from each mouth, though the chiseled lips never moved, ambiguous in gender. “We’re pleased that you accepted our invitation. “
“I came here to stop the murder of an innocent. “ she protested, still slightly winded, glaring darkly at first one face then another.
“Perhaps, but you followed the clues we laid down, followed them unerringly to the source. It was what we willed to happen … “ countered Janus.
“Uh, excuse me. “ I jumped in. “But wasn’t this a Rube Goldberg way to invite us to tea? “
“You were simply a tool, Mr. Kolchak, an accident of circumstance. “ snarled the voice.
“So long ago, so many times before, you should have died, . But as unexpected an influence as you were, we foresaw a useful purpose in bringing this young woman to us. “
“Sorry to mess with your grand scheme. “
“You were unintended, but Karen, as honest as Pandora in her quest for Truth, was groomed from birth to suit our needs. “ explained the entity, God or Trickster. “She is meant to investigate those areas of uncertainty, the nether realm just beyond the edges of our omnipotent periphery … “
“I’m afraid not, Janus, or whoever you really are. “ Karen interrupted angrily. “You threatened a child to get to me. I don’t take kindly to being used like that. “
“Isn’t it more a kindness to know your greater purpose? To illuminate the dark zone of mortal existence? We could help determine where your skills might be best used, would reveal the greater need … “
“Kind of like what I did. “ I mused, almost to myself at which point this being seemed to take great offense.
“You were always the random element, Carl, the buzzing insect in the amphitheatre. Despite periodic good works, you did it for your own advancement, a shout to draw attention to your unfulfilled existence.
"But as you yourself realize, the time for your retirement is long past due, to return your remaining energy to the ether where another can make better use of it. “
“Just another death to suit your purpose, a chess piece retired. “ Karen snapped, taking a step toward the dais which began to hum with an invisible force. “Whether you called him or not, I can’t stand by and watch as you kill him. I won’t work for one so callous and cruel. “
“It is out of your hands. “ Janus chided her, a vibration now in the air which made my body tremble. Our positions were such that while Karen was almost as close as I to the center, still I would be quickly extinguished without harming her.
It’s strange to consider that at the instant of my inevitable demise, I felt ambivalent toward the fast approaching maelstrom.
This was where a split second could have changed outcome, but my wounded pride held me back as Karen; my daughter that should have been, rushed toward the platform, an expanding mass of pulsating yellow energy at it‘s center.
Janus was confused by her unexpected action, her death so certain that I finally made my choice.
I flung myself forward, hoping to catch the edge of this advancing storm, to take the shot before it could engulf the woman I’d grown to respect, perhaps love more than just a little.
It was too late for the both of us, this sorry old man and this youthful crusader.
The energy of Janus absorbed us, our physical bodies disintegrating before so great a power. But the line separating spirit and substance had blurred, all feeling gone with only our consciousness remaining to carry us into the abyssal whiteout.
It seemed that Karen and I were joined, on a level I couldn’t begin to describe, like two souls cast adrift, holding to one another by the barest fingertips.
At the last, however, I felt her presence tear loose as a new force intervened. I could hear a distant echo in my mind, dwindling until only one word reached my battered psyche.
“Remember. “
I lost myself for what seemed a very long time, with no recollection of where I was or how to feel. When any sort of physical sensation returned, it definitely felt wrong, in what was there and what was missing.
As used to an old body as I’d become, the greater level of energy, the return of a powerful tactile range, a mind racing through restored neural pathways, it only added fuel to my confusion.
“You’re restored, in a manner of speaking. “ came that damnable echo of Janus, even as I felt cool air against supple naked flesh. “Only a manner of speaking, Mr. Kolchak. “
“And where’s Karen? “ I demanded in a higher pitch voice which wasn’t mine. I knew who it was, damn it! I knew … “
“She was, and is no more. “ Janus answered, sounding as angry as I felt, the female body in which my consciousness lay going through a very distracting self-maintenance, fluids flowing, specific body parts experiencing a strong arousal. “But that’s not to say that she’s gone. “
“Ok, just let me clear my head and we’ll hash this out. “ I temporized, greatly unnerved to have my thoughts uttered through her sweet voice. “Karen’s gone, but she’s not? “
“The original essence which was Ms. Klein was lost to the abyss where you were dragged. We managed to reconstitute her body with every recollection, every scrap of her short existence carried in each cell, a copy of what her mind once held. But your own consciousness intervened, that stubborn will to live, it clung to the nearest literal form to make manifest that desire. “
“So who am I? Carl Kolchak or Karen Klein? “ I was almost begging now, my usual cocky resignation gone. Was it a result of loss, or the strangeness of my new gender?
“You are a Chimera, the improbable brought forth by your own selfish desires. Your life was forfeit, saved by the love of a girl who scarcely knew you, and yet that might be the way to correct this terrible mistake. “
Kolchak the arrogant, the old bulldog of tenacity, who’d performed the ultimate sacrifice for his personal truth, I could only humble myself now, hope against hope that Karen be brought back. “So, just dump old Kolchak into the ether and put her back in this body … “
“By Fate or Misfortune, the brain must have a consciousness to keep it alive. While the restoration is possible, it will take time. Only your presence can help stir those buried experiences, draw them out until, like a jigsaw puzzle, Karen Klein can become whole. “
“And I die? “
“You would return to the void, as you were meant to. “ admonished Janus before adopting an almost sympathetic tone. “This is your hero’s quest, Kolchak, to live her life as it was meant to be, to reawaken memories slumbering in flesh and genetic heritage.
"You must be Karen in both body and soul, until her rekindled perceptions eventually eclipse your own. It is your redemption as well as her only hope. “
“She asked about the child … “
“We consider her sacrifice as payment enough for both supplicants. The girl will live a long and fruitful life. We will likewise honor her intent when you succeed, Ms. Klein. “
“And how long before that happens? “
“It will depend upon how well you live your life, Karen. Embrace those who love the woman, those who respect the journalist and virtuous crusader, they will help you understand all aspects of her inspiration. “
I couldn’t help think that Janus was getting the better part of this deal, as unsettled as I was, still sorting out the novelty of the shape I wore, feeling very much the imposter as I played a part I was ill prepared for. But it was her face across the table, my own insecurities and doubts reflected in those … my lovely eyes, which strengthened my resolve to see this through.
“Well, if I’m to do this thing, “ I murmured contritely, my Olympian host sensing a softening of spirit. “I’m going to need something from you as well. “
“Yes? “
“Some clothes would be nice. “ I requested lightly, feeling the chill in sensitive places …
So I tore down one of the banners to wrap myself in, picked up all that remained of our tragic heroine, a small tan shoulder purse, took advantage of the late evening lull to reach my car only to find I’d left the keys behind in eternity.
Fortunately I’d picked up some skills from my shadier contacts, awkwardly hot wiring the vehicle so that I could return to my apartment unmolested.
Molested! A word which had a frightening connotation for me now. There would be a whole new set of values to learn, and me without a road map save one.
I’d always nurtured a faint hope over the years that we’d meet again, but as lovers, not mother and daughter. Still, I couldn’t go to Gail just yet, choosing instead to gather everything of Karen’s I could and get her back home, to Cleveland.
I needed time, something which I now seemed to have plenty of, time to confront my own feelings, time to find someone to confide in. Thankfully, when I got the chance to review Karen’s notes, they revealed a likely candidate.
“Come, Ms. Klein. “ offered the enigmatic scholarly figure who could only have been The Professor. “I’m glad to see you back, whole and without a scratch. At least on the outside. “
“Not quite. “ I snapped, feeling irritable and ill-used, or was it that nasty surprise of nature which visited me in the morning, taking me most of the day to figure how to handle. “But I suppose you know all about it. “
“Why would I? “ he countered innocently, inspecting me closer now. I was a mess, albeit a tidy one, a replica of a well dressed female with only the most cursory information to go by.
I’d showered thoroughly, an interesting experience though I’d bypassed some potential pleasures. More from shame than anything else.
I’d finally stopped my flow, carefully reading the instruction on the package as if I were rebuilding a custom Chevy as tending to feminine hygiene, found some pills to lessen the cramps.
After a touch of lip gloss and a brush through my thick hair, I found the most modest lingerie, a tan business outfit, sensible flats. I felt unmade, that Karen, even after a rough night at my old place, had looked far better.
“You’re in good with the old Gods, Professor. “ I scolded him, as confident as I could sound under the circumstances.
“More an enthused fan boy, young lady … or are you? “ he remarked, less casual now as the philosopher emerged. “Your aura is way off kilter.
“You have no idea. “ I answered with a meeker voice, caught off guard by his covetous gaze, as much the letch as learned scholar, feeling the full impact of my circumstance all at once.
I thought I knew better, but felt foolish in trying to hide anything from him. Letting slip a tiny sigh, I leaned back in my chair with a decidedly unladylike posture and confessed everything.
For the record, he was scarcely impressed by my account, clucking with displeasure as I finished my narrative. The Professor paused to think, every so often giving me a half pitying glance which neither condemned nor consoled my bruised ego.
It was odd that I felt less the hard bitten cynical reporter than a school girl waiting for an appropriate punishment from a teacher. But perhaps that would have been easier on me in the long run …
“You have to face their judgment, Carl, in every way, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you. And this will be the last time you’ll be called by your old name.
"While I do wish to see you again; she made quite an impression, I can only suggest not guide you. There are better people than I for that, starting with her mother. "
“How can I face Gail, knowing that this is a lie. “ I groaned, more afraid of this than all the demons I’d faced.
“By making it not a lie. “ he challenged me. “You’re her daughter now, in form and hopefully, eventually, in all other respects. And Karen? “
“Hmm? “
“Don’t forget our date on Friday. Dinner, A Movie, some fun afterwards? “
“You must be kidding, right? “ I gasped, only to find a wicked grin flash across his narrow face.
“I am, for now. But that’s just one of many things you’ll have to consider, her social commitments as well as family. That includes the possibility of love, are we clear? “
“As a shot glass. “ I quipped before hearing a faint buzz coming from Karen’s, my purse. I took out my cell phone, fussing a bit till I could read the caller ID. It was from an Arthur Faber …
It was at a café just off campus we meet on the morning of the 17th , Faber everything Karen said he was, but I couldn’t get used to his open admiration of this foxy journalist. I’d opted for a more relaxed style, snug jeans and noncommittal white blouse, certain it would put off any amorous intentions. Of course I was wrong …
“So, I did good? “ he wheedled, too wrapped up in his self congratulations to notice my obvious discomfort.
“You did, uh, Arthur. And while it all worked out, I’m not sure there’s a story in it. “ I temporized, conscious that while I deliberately crossed my legs to deflect his view, my body tingled all the same.
“You don’t think? “ He ventured with unfettered enthusiasm.
“Someone went through a lot of trouble to scam a lot of people, using the most sophisticated system I’d ever encountered.
"I think we could get a good series out of it, maybe even a New York Times Best Seller. We could discuss our collaboration over dinner? “
“Really, Arthur. “ I told him somewhat testily, wondering just how women handled their potential stalkers. “I made it for coffee, didn‘t I? and while I really do appreciate your help … “
“Sure, “ he muttered, actually making me feel bad for this oddball computer analyst. “Deferred until later then. “
“Why don’t we just see, OK? “ I couldn’t believe this was happening, that I didn’t simply lie through my now full lips as always. “It’s just that I have a list of things a mile long, due yesterday, but it isn’t that I can’t or won’t … would you give me a call in a few days? “
“Really? “ the light on his wide lens gave off an extra twinkle to his eyes, this body I wore apparently worth the wait.
I felt the blush, rather than bluster, come far too easily to my face.
“Really. But I have to motor, in any case. Thanks for the coffee … Arthur. “
I mustered as much a straight backed posture as Karen’s body could, still it was clear he was checking my ass on the way out.
It was just ridiculous, this old man’s mind trying to reconcile with the luscious young female form he wore, so scared that he would blow everything, wondering if his inherent selfishness would override the mission …
June 18th.
I review my notes, as well as those of Karen Foster Klein’s, the former which will go into that safety deposit box I’d told her of … seemingly so long ago.
Her journal will be mine, along with the rest of it. I’d talked at length with her old classmate, Jillian Crane, somehow managing to calm her shattered nerves, reassuring her without revealing the specifics of that terrible confrontation with Janus.
What she’d gained in her dealings with the Gods, well, it wouldn’t have changed anything to tell this troubled women the exact price for her vanity. It was enough that Karen did what she’d set out to do, and I could only wish to do as well to rectify my own dark complicity in the matter of Janus ReGen.
Still, this chapter didn’t quite end there, after rudely hanging up on Jillian’s nattering gratitude.
Perhaps I could call later, to apologize. I could tell her it was that time of the month.
I had one more thing to do before then, to begin this new journey in earnest, and it couldn’t be done over the telephone …
The Klein Homestead was nice digs, a colonial in sleepy suburbs outside of Akron. By all accounts, Gale had done well, perhaps far better than if things had gone differently back in Vegas. If things had gone differently …
“Hey there, hon! “ a pleasant shout from a passing car, a sweet elder lady who reminded me of Ms. Emily. “What a lovely surprise. You back visiting the folks? “
“Uh, sure am. “ I responded affably, wondering if she was someone I really needed to remember. “Just need reminding where Home is. “
“As if you ever needed that. “ she kidded, wagging a finger at the thought. “Why I’d never meet a family as close as you got. You count your blessings, young lady. “
“Yes, ma’am. “ I agreed, thinking back on my own turbulent life as Carl Kolchak. Again, if things had gone differently.
She made me promise to drop by some time for sugar cookies, and I walked up the drive to the front door, about to decide whether I should knock when it opened.
I felt strong arms embrace me, and I couldn’t help but snuggle in close. He kissed my smooth forehead before holding me out at arms length.
“Karen, you look great, princess. Is everything OK? “
Gale had picked a good man, even my critical eye could tell that, still fit just past middle age with only a shock of grey at either side of a short crew to betray his age.
The warmth was there, a deep love and concern for his only child as Daniel eyeballed me closely.
“Don’t fuss so much … dad. “ I answered curtly which got a raised brow from him. “Do I need an excuse to drop by? “
“It’s my job, kiddo. “ he laughed, a protective arm around me as we went inside. “But if you’d called first, like you usually do, your mother would’ve cancelled her time at the hospital … “
“Hospital? Is she all right? “ I blurted out, and he shook with laughter.
“Her day to volunteer, you dope. You know that. It’s fine, and we’re fine. She should be back in about three hours. You got the time to hang with your old man till then? “
“Daddy, “ I enthused, perhaps honestly for the first time in forever. “I got all the time in the world for you guys. “
We chatted as I’d never really talked with anyone in a long time, about everything and nothing at all.
Father’s pride knew no decency, and though learning every little detail of her life through his love, still there were moments I rolled my eyes like a proper daughter.
“… and when we caught you and Kevin in the upstairs bath, it was as funny as scary. For your first time, it was like you were studying for an important exam, so direct that the poor boy didn’t know what hit him. “
“Oh, Dad. “ I reddened prettily. “It wasn’t that bad, was it? “
“Well, I suppose falling into a life of crime and depravity afterwards, at least he was consistent … “
“Hush, you. “ came that familiar soft voice from behind us, the image of my innocent casino hostess flashing in my mind as I turned. “Kevin went to community college and then took over his father’s dry-cleaning business. He married one of the girls who worked there. You shouldn’t tease her like that. “
Gail Foster, now Klein, was the proverbial curvaceous stone who’d produced that most perfect chip, though I supposed that Dad contributed something.
She’d matured wonderfully, adding a few pounds in the right places, the laugh lines beneath those gentle eyes accenting her quiet strength, rounded cheeks dimpled with tender devotion.
Those beautiful eyes opened wide as I crossed the room in seconds, a humph of escaping air as her child gave Mother a firm bear hug.
I almost engaged her in serious lip lock but chose to mess an immaculate right cheek instead.
As she’d intuited Carl’s mood with uncanny accuracy, Gail gazed at me for a time, so intently that I almost thought she could see the remains of the man inside.
“You really did go to see him, didn’t you? “ she whispered in my ear, a world of regret behind the words. “I hope you didn’t go making promises that I’ll have to keep? “
“You’ve already kept them. “ I reassured her, so naked and exposed that a single pointed look from his wife got Daniel out of his chair.
“I think I’ll go see if there’s some errands I need to run. Maybe catch a movie … or two. “ he responded with congenial sarcasm. “If there’s anything I can contribute … “
“It’s fine, Daddy. “ I told him, receiving a quick smooch for my troubles. “Just some girl talk. You go, be bad. “
“Not much chance of that. “ mom snorted, even as we went into the kitchen, Gail rummaging through several cabinets before producing a bottle of Chardonnay.
At her bidding I searched for the cork screw and two glasses. “But I don’t see why we can’t. I’ll pour, and you tell me all about him. “
I told her everything, though I modified the outcome.
From her deep melancholy reflected back at me, I knew I’d made the right decision.
Additionally, I told the story as much from Karen’s journal as Carl’s memories; per The Professor’s instructions, still with odd feelings toward my confidant/co-conspirator.
Gail told her daughter anecdotes of the Vegas years, surprising me with her own version of our May/November relationship.
As much as I’d cared for her, still my cuddly companion forced a redefinition of myself, as seen through her desire to unlock my frustrated potential, set free the heroic reporter I’d wished to be -
“If only it had been a very different kind of story. “ she mused with slurred fondness, finishing her third glass in an hour. “I think Carl would’ve received all the acclaim he thought he deserved, but I think it might have made him a lesser man in the long run. “
“A lesser man? “
“It seemed that everything you told me made him more passionate about his craft, about the truth, than otherwise would’ve been. “ she answered, taking my hand but clearly seeing Carl in her imagination.
“At the end, he did the only thing left to do, save the girl and my daughter. “
“That remains to be seen. “ I mused silently, squeezing her free hand before adding aloud. “I’m sure that’s the way he’d want to be remembered by you … Mom. “
“I see. “ that old mischievous twinkle I recalled from long ago focused on her girl. “He got to you too, didn’t he? “
I would have liked to have thought, at least with what she wrote about me. “Two silly women, huh? “
“At least in your case you had an excuse. “ Gail laughed. “What was mine? “
Oh, how to answer that question, but for the old man who had nothing left but her heart.
The best I could do, therefore, was to give the woman I loved her daughter back.
“I guess we’ll figure that out together. “ I told her, as countless doors opened before me.
For the present, as mother and daughter bonded, it was enough that I leave Carl Kolchak; The Night Stalker behind.
From this point on, the only stockings would be those I pull up over these beautiful legs …
The End?
KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
ADONIS ADRIFT.
Aug 10th, 2005.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Journal of Karen Foster Klein;
I write this entry feeling several ways foolish but somewhat wiser from the experiences of the past 2 weeks. Perhaps it was my own hubris, the way in which a decrepit old man had assumed the role of a young woman; without major crisis.
Karen had been; would be again if the Gods were pleased, a remarkable journalist, attractive and hardnosed, the product of a former lover and her faithful if mundane husband. But back in June, Carl Kolchak had made believe that she was the daughter that should have been, side by side investigating a suspicious holistic style self-help site, Janus ReGen.
What two investigative reporters found in Old Chicago, however, had been a feint. It was a trail of bread crumbs, meant to lure the young lady into service to a band of near forgotten deities, as well as disposing of an old ink stained hack.
Still, through a fatal heroic act, Karen threw herself into the abyss to save this ungrateful old man, her essence sent into oblivion. As for Carl Kolchak …
I wear her body by default, trying to mend this tragic mistake by recreating her heart and soul, held hostage within the cells of this form. I attempt to live the life of this amazing girl as honestly as I can. For the most part, with the love of her parents, and the aid of a rather randy mythologist known simply as The Professor, I thought I’d done so quite easily.
But as old Kolchak had once remarked. “Just when things seemed so right, that was the moment they turned terribly wrong. “
July 4th, 2005
Akron, Ohio.
“My God! Daughter of mine! “ declared Gail Klein, or as I called her these days; Mom. “What is that you’re wearing? “
Having a former girlfriend, albeit from thirty years ago, playing parental games with you had yet to lose its novelty. Though for this girl in training, her sage yet nagging tone did improve my learning curve …
“This? “ My innocent tone didn’t quite wash as I crossed the well manicured back lawn to give Dad a great big hug. “It’s comfortable, and it’s a family get together … “
I suppose the lime green tank and dark brown shorts was hardly haute couture but I’d been hurried that morning. Perhaps it was a lingering rebellion against embracing certain feminine sensibilities. Maybe it was simply for the priceless look on Gail’s face. But whatever the reason, it was clear she wasn’t going to let her only child get away with it.
“You, upstairs. “
Dad was laughing as his wife escorted her thirty two year old daughter inside like some naughty child.
“Something an old lady would wear. “ she scolded. “I thought I raised you with a better fashion sense. “
“Well, I wasn’t raiding your wardrobe, that’s for sure. “ I quipped which earned me a swat on my backside.
“Sass, young lady. “ chuckled Gail, even as we straightened out my wayward fashion choice. But I’d discovered, soon after accepting this persona, she had a far subtler strength than Carl had ever given her credit for.
It was the world I’d been thrust into, as alien as any to a hard bitten old fart. The close family, the apparent legions of good friends, loyal associates, and male admirers. This was perhaps the single most difficult aspect of Karen’s life to get used to, that men wanted to jump me at the drop of a hat …
“And you’re wearing a sports bra underneath. “ murmured Mother, swapping out my misguided selections for a nice dove white pair of shorts, matched with a light sky blue spaghetti strap top, better to show off my modest cleavage. “Give your poor girls some air. “
“My puppies can breath, “ I mocked uneasily. “Thank God. “
“Thank your mother first. “ she scoffed, shooting me a look. “This should improve my chances at becoming a grandma some day.”
That was another troubling item; my fertility, at least by my gynecologist’s estimate of this woman’s state of Health. It had been at The Professor’s insistence, getting some perverse amusement from the suggestion, that this was part of jumping in with both feet.
I’d gotten the male version of a complete workup as my old body began to fall apart, including fingers in uncomfortable places.
It had been, however, only the tip of Medical Humiliation compared to what this girl went through. At least on a date one expected flowers and dinner.
But the up skirt exam had at least confirmed that Karen was in ridiculously excellent shape, inside and out. So it was with no small sense of anticipation, what with my mother’s wishes and many a mans’ expectation, that one day I would be expected to mate; perhaps reproduce …
“Thanks. “
And what a choice of suitors I had, any bar hopping one-night stands aside. One well educated man with a pagan altar in his office, and an over intelligent man-boy with a penchant for computer hacking and Star Trek. What girl wouldn’t drop her panties for either?
But for the present, I’d contented myself with driving my mother crazy, and hopefully getting fried chicken and real fireworks in the bargain. By days end, I got so much more.
“That’s the daughter I know and love. “ murmured Gail, ruffling my strawberry blond locks absently, smiling softly at some private memory.
“What? “ I asked, feeling this was something I should know, if ever Karen was to awaken from her mystical slumber.
“It’s just that you never really played Dress Up as a little girl. “ she remarked with some incredulity. “I mean, you weren’t the tom boy per say. But like other things as you were growing up, it was learned through some half assed osmosis. One day you were content to go bare faced, the next … “
“Well, I’m all girl now. “ I ventured irreverently, earning another strange look before the moment was broken by Dad’s voice from downstairs.
“Princess? Your purse is vibrating! “
“I thought you had the day off. “ Gail chided me, prompting a spontaneous giggle.
“I’m a freelancer, mom, I’m not exactly on a schedule. Well, I should see who it is, in any case. “
In continuing to reassemble a life not mine, I was thankful that Karen had been meticulous in her musings, both work and personal. While not exactly the gossip girl, I was able to glean enough to pretend intimate relations with all but the closest friends.
“Karen? “ it was the latter, an old acquaintance from my school days at Columbia. Tanya Landers did PR work for some large Cruise Line based out of New York. “What are you doing right now? “
“Tanya? It’s the 4th of July? I’m doing the family picnic … where are you at? You sound close. “
“I’m actually in town, your town. Do you think we can talk? It’s really important. “
“I’ll give you directions to my folks place. “
“Fine … “
“But unless it’s life threatening, you have to promise me something. “
“Sure, of course. “
“Have some food, see some fireworks, drink some wine, then we’ll talk. “
I could almost see Tanya grinning at the other end of the line, scrabbling to find the nub of a pencil she always kept in her purse. “It’s a deal. Now about those directions? “
Over my shoulder I caught Gail rolling her beautiful eyes while Dad grinned even wider, as if to say “Guess who’s coming to Dinner? “
Amore del Mare Cruises was a relatively new venture which had inherited three ships from a now defunct company. They took a risk by gearing all it’s business toward mostly adult oriented packages.
It had little trouble beyond the usual tainted Food or petty theft from the largely Mediterranean crew. But there was nothing that a legion of lawyers couldn’t settle.
Still, Amore never featured prominently in any of Karen Foster Klein’s consumer alerts.
Tanya was a few years younger than Karen, I mean, than I was, but no less dedicated in her work, She expertly soothed ruffled feathers, while spinning Amore del Mare as the real life Love Boat. But clearly, from the way this usually confident young black woman drained her wine, something beyond the anticipated had occurred.
“Like any entertainment concern, we’ve had our share of would-be escorts or gigolos, trying to run games through the cruise line. To my knowledge, however, no hustle was ever sanctioned by management. Nothing that wasn’t shut down hard once we got wind of it. “
“But this is different. “ I coaxed, recalling Karl’s last trip aboard an ocean liner. It had been a swinging singles cruise, turned quickly into a two legged buffet at the rising of the Full Moon …
“ I mean, if any of the male crew got a little anxious around the women passengers, they were either shipped off immediately or transferred to duties which minimized contact. “ Tanya explained carefully, her oddly sheepish tone offset by the crackle of the hanging bug zapper.
“But we don’t think that’s it. And the complaints weren’t from the women involved, but from parents, boyfriends and husbands.
"The man who perpetrated these; and I’m reluctant to call them ‘Attacks. ‘ , defies description. “
“So let me see if I got this. “ I responded somewhat sarcastically. “ A good looking guy, of indeterminate age or race, save that he’s really good looking and charming, seduces girls of all ages and income. While some articles were taken, jewelry mostly, but some antiques, in more than a few cases nothing beyond their virtue was lifted. “
“It’s not funny, Kay-Kay. “ chided my friend mildly before she loosened up slightly. “ Okay, maybe just a little. But regardless, it still violates their rights as clients of Amore del Mare. I’m asking for your help in finding out just who’s doing this. “
“Tanya, this sounds like a matter for your security staff, or even the Feds. How does this fit into my job description? “ I protested mildly, already knowing what her answer would be.
“Because it is a business concern, and a threat to consumers. As a fellow sista I’d think you’d be pretty hot to investigate, and … “
“Okay, you’re right, I’m sorry. “ I didn’t quite feel like a sister, rather a charlatan. Still, thinking on what I knew of Karen from our brief time together … “What would you like me to do? “
July 20th. 2005
Oberlin State College, Ohio.
It was a couple days before I was expected in New York to board the ship, a rudely titled Adonis II. How they thought any self respecting female would want to join any cruise aboard such a vessel, but I suppose Lust supplanted Sensibility.
Speaking of which, Gail had taken it upon herself to make sure I was properly outfitted for the voyage. This included some surprises which she insisted I wait until I was at sea to open.
In The Meanwhile, I had decided to consult with The Professor on a personal matter. I got something I wasn’t expecting.
“You on a cruise, the mind boggles. “ the pepper haired but still fit male chuckled gently, his direct gaze ever appreciative of my figure and sympathetic toward my circumstance. “You all for it? Going to shake that booty on the dance floor? Perhaps give the guys a poolside show? Share some rather playful pics? “
“It’s only a favor for an old friend of Karen’s … mine. “ I answered slowly. “But with Mom and Tanya treating it like some sorority summer vacation, I’m not sure I’m ready for it! If the Fates, or Gods, or whatever, are conspiring … look at the name of the ship! Adonis II ? “
For all his presumed insight, it was nice to find that even this worldly scholar could be caught off guard. “Adonis was Lover to Venus. He was killed by wild boars while doing a little role play in the woods with his girlfriend. In her grief, she turned him into a flower. “
I handed him the itinerary and he chuckled at something which I couldn’t quite see as funny. “That’s not what it says here. For all the lack of imagination, the ship is simply called Amore del Mare II. “
I leaned across the broad oak desk, mindful of the show I gave him with my half open satin blouse. Still, I didn’t care about that as much as being played this way.
“I swear that wasn’t what I saw before. What the Hell is going on here? “
“I think you’re right, my dear. “ he ventured, lightly covering my slender hands with his. “You’re being played, but damned if I can decide by who … or what. As much as Adonis was one of the lesser symbols for Rebirth, it could pertain directly to your situation, or not. “
“So, I guess I’m going on a cruise. “ I sighed with ill humor. ‘To find out why some super stud, mystical or not, is targeting women; apart from the obvious. At least I have the advantage, I think. “
“Because of Carl? “ queried my partner, even as I was aware his hands still held mine firmly. “Because Kolchak was such a lady killer ? As a woman, quite a Hottie I might add, you don’t think you might be even a little tempted, Karen? “
“What?! Don’t be ridiculous! “ I sputtered indignantly, ever aware he was teasing. “It’s all biology, I’m smarter than that! “
“And you blush very prettily when you say that. “ The Professor shot back, giving my palms a quick kiss before returning them to me. “It almost makes me wish I had the time to go with … “
“Not even on a bet. “ I scolded him and he laughed, undermining my self assurance even further. “Then why don’t we? Make it a bet, I mean. “
“A bet about what? “ I asked, the glint in his grey eyes slightly evil.
“About temptation and your learning curve. “ He joked. “I dost think the lady protest too much. How about you give me a real date if you slip, say second base, just to make it fair. If it’s farther … “
“And what if I don’t? Slip, that is. “ I countered, my back up and ready to rumble now. “What could you possibly have that I’d want … “
“We’re talking about if you win. “ he smiled back. “But I think there might be something. “
He told me, and I admitted it was a good wager as he solemnly shook my hand.
July 22nd, 2005
New York City Harbor.
New York Harbor was a legendary hub of International Travel since it was firmly established as same near about 1870.
It was the port where survivors from the Titanic disaster in 1912 arrived aboard the Carpathia, a major embarkation point for troops and materials during World War II. To this day the docks along both the New Jersey and New York sides still serviced an impressive number of vessels.
“Kay-Kay. “ Tanya greeted me curbside as I paid off the cabbie, feeling somewhat ridiculous arriving at the docks with nothing but a small overnight bag. “It’s all arranged with my bosses, especially since I assured them you weren’t here to do a hatch job, just help me find this joker. “
She smiled approvingly at my undercover outfit, a breezy floral sundress, matching scarf to tie back my shoulder length hair, good enough to start blending in.
“While I’m still not convinced there’s anything to your mystery man, “ I responded, also admiring; though perhaps tainted by Carl’s perspective, the slighter girl’s tasteful beige slacks and pearl white sleeveless blouse.
“ K would … I’ll do my best. So, where do I board with the rest of the rowers? “
“You’re funny. “ she teased, steering me away from the ant farm maze of tourists. “You think I wouldn’t take my best girl to sea in style? Your mom forwarded the rest of your stuff ahead of you. I made sure they got sent to our stateroom … “
“Our stateroom? “
“Well, in a way. “ Tanya amended with a tone too cheerful for my like. “It’s partitioned so you’ll have half a room. For those personal interviews, ya know? Additionally I’ve comped the entire package, a six day trip steaming south & back.
"While we do list a few small tours, the emphasis is on shipboard activities. We try not to micromanage the guests so they can do as they wish, virtually 24/7. “
“Great, so we only have to find one guy among … “
“Um, we didn’t exactly get full booking for this trip. “ my friend interjected, even as she flashed her ID at some security men. Evidently, it was a great gig, Public Relations.
“I figure we’re down maybe an eighth of total capacity, so let’s call it an even Fourteen. “
“Fourteen? One Thousand Four Hundred People? “ I gasped, mindful we were headed toward the lower docks where workers were finishing with supplies for the voyage ahead. “You have a lot of confidence in me, don’t you? “
“Well, I was sort of thinking you’d put yourself out more, make him interested?“ she ventured slowly. “Just like some of your more memorable moments at Columbia? “
“Don’t remind me. “ I temporized, hoping that perhaps Tanya might tell me more. It was yet another lapse in my reeducation of this new body and the life it lead.
We arrived at an intermediate ramp where legions of staff boarded the Amore del Mare II. At my first real glimpse of the ship, my former jaded world view resurfaced, scarcely impressed by this overgrown bath toy.
Carl had been born early enough to have witnessed the end of Elegance. Queens Mary and Elizabeth, the last of the true Ocean liners, finally retired in the late 60’s and early 70’s before a world of mass market prefabrication.
Though not the largest of the post modern cruise ships, Amore del Mare II boasted over 800 cabins, a crew of 700 to maintain all the amenities like it’s big sister ships.
But even with a sleek futuristic shape made to cut through the worst seas at over twenty knots, and the newest in GPS navigation, still I felt there was a lack of natural beauty in the computer created design.
“ … Second Officer Ramon De La Croix. “ Tanya was saying as I shook loose these old Kolchak memories. The even white smile caught me off guard, set as it was in a very handsome Latin face. Those laughing auburn eyes twinkled at my flustered manner. “You still with us, Karen? “
“Uh, I was just admiring … your ship. “ I stumbled. He was a very good looking man, and yet I could only imagine The Professor chuckling over my spontaneous feminine reaction. Second base … right.
“She is a beauty. “ he remarked with casual respect, though not looking at the ship. “Perhaps once we get you settled, you’d care for a proper tour? “
“She’d love to. “ Tanya jumped in as we entered a utility corridor which ran behind the public venues. “Would you like to show us to our room?"
“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. “ I mused quietly, ignoring my cabin-mate as she chatted brightly with our handsome escort. Much to my disappointment, although Ramon had been on previous cruises where our mystery man had struck, he’d little to contribute to what Tanya had already told me.
“Regretfully, “ he said, placing a firm hand at my back to guide me into a service elevator. “but I’m certain that you and our Ms. Landers will sort it out. I looked up your past columns and they show true dedication. I confess I’ve become a fan.“
“Hmm, “ I responded with a curt nod, sparing a second to shoot an arched brow toward my wicked co-conspirator. “you’re welcome, I’m sure. So where is our cabin? “
As if by coincidence, the mirrored doors opened to a long passageway, gleaming with a subdued blue luminescence, the overhead lighting well hid above the translucent ceiling.
Along the subtly pebbled walls were sea foam colored mosaics of faux Greek wave and shell patterns.
There were, for the length of the corridor, surprisingly few rooms, all with double doors of perhaps cedar or a similar soft wood.
“I think I see a motif here. “ I said cynically as Ramon shrugged his narrow yet still masculine shoulders.
“It does suit the locale though, yes? “ he offered pleasantly. “And here we are, ladies. “
The second officer swung wide the doors onto a lush room which demolished most of my remaining sarcasm, my senses too busy soaking up the excess. While there was a divider, as Tanya had mentioned, easily folded back into three sections if necessary, what was left was still a sizable area to play in.
Done up in the already familiar style, my half boasted a round double bed with sea foam sheets atop what Tanya whispered was a space age contour mattress.
There was a settee, a couple more chairs and a coffee table of smooth faux blue marble. I had a dressing table parallel to the expansive sliding glass door which lead out onto a spacious balcony, and a closet/dresser combination with room to spare.
“Now see what I got. “ laughed Tanya, leading me through a door in the sliding wall. Her was a more modest single bed, but with a large bathroom with standup shower and a whirlpool bathtub. “don’t worry, you can use it. “
“You also have a Wi-Fi connection for Internet and TV, and there are laptops available in the concierge office. “ added Second Officer De La Croix, amused at the ‘Kid In A Candy Store.’ look on my face. “All on the house, ladies. “
“Or the ship. “ I joked, looking around half seriously. “No bar? “
“No need, “ my roomie interjected. “All services 22 hours, remember? Save for a few hours for upkeep. “
“And when does our service to the ship begin? “
“As soon as we stepped aboard. “ she said with a slight smile. “But that simply means enjoying the amenities while keeping our eyes, and other parts open. “
“Fun, fun, fun. “ I quipped, feeling only a little less put off by her humor. Still, it was what I’d contracted for with the higher powers, with all the pitfalls it promised.
As I brooded somewhat over what the women in my life had dragged me into, Tanya caught my eye. Ramon waited patiently near the open door. “Speaking of Fun, you were going to give us a tour? “
“My pleasure. “ our guide gallantly gestured, Tanya already on the move, the flirty tramp. For all her playfulness, I had the hunch she was directing me toward this seaworthy stud.
I wasn’t quite ready to cross that ocean just yet.
Still, he was quite fascinating to listen to, spending time to explain the workings of this space age floating hotel.
It was equipped with a remote navigation which, like many aircraft, could be preset for the ultimate in cruise control. While the bridge crew could, in case of emergencies, transfer helm at the press of a button, most of the time they simply sat back and monitored.
The rest of the technical details and tour of the services took over two hours, and yet, all the while, I kept wondering just what was happening with this body and my mind.
I’d been Karen for a very short time, but somehow this realignment of priorities had snuck up on me. Just what was I suppose to do about it?
“Well, that’s about everything about the Amore del Mare II, ladies. “ Ramon finished as did we in the central promenade, a wide circular lounge surrounding a spiral staircase with a great glass ceiling above.
“I’d be happy to answer any questions, except then we’d have nothing to talk about during dinner. You will come, yes? “
“Then we really need to get spruced up. “ Tanya confirmed as I flubbed my response with a vague acquiescence. “Come on, girl. Let’s go get prettier. “
The Amore del Mare II was well on it’s way, and to it’s credit did so with scarcely a rumble beneath our feet. Of course I was somewhat preoccupied at the time …
It was my first time being a girly-girl, as Gail had joked. I took as much care with it as I did my rifle during Carl’s military stint in Korea. I could only thank the Gods for Gail. We were so similar in type, I could ape her look without falling into parody.
I also cursed Mom for her growing obsession with my sex appeal, or lack there of, several of her gifts making me blush. But the soft green off the shoulder evening dress was form fitting. so I was committed to the matching strapless bra and high cut French panties.
It was additionally a new experience to share space and accessories with another woman, including a small skirmish over the bath vs. the shower, which Tanya won.
While the whirlpool was built for two, that was territory I wasn’t yet ready to cross over into either … if I wanted to preserve our friendship, that is.
At the end, even I was somewhat impressed by the final affect, as The Professor said ‘ A Hottie. ‘ Tanya was equally amazing in her club wear style sheath dress, a combined red top and black skirt, ready to ‘Wow.’
For all our primping we arrived fashionably late to meet our macho escort just outside the main dining room. Ramon, dashing in his dress whites, clearly let us know it was worth the wait.
Two major events aboard ship were first and last nights , where we dressed up in our fines and the champagne flowed.
At our table, the second officer and his ladies were joined by five others. They were, a retired couple from New Hampshire; James and Jenny Weston, the chief purser; Donald P. Hanley, a Detroit doctor; Jeremy Topher, and finally an actor wanna-be from New York, William Zachary.
“So you’re famous, Ms Klein. “ gushed the balding but not unpleasant looking Hanley, his recessed gaze flitting between my cleavage and my eyes. “Helping all those people with your newspaper column. And now you’re aboard our ship. Business or Pleasure? “
“Tanya is an old friend from college. “ I answered softly, hopefully as coy as Karen could muster. “We’re catching up on old times. “
“Not too old, “ remarked James Weston, as ancient as I’d once been, his quiet lustful stare reflecting his tired but still eager libido. “ at least not for two lovely young ladies. “
“Or young men. “ his wife, the very image of a Barbara Stanwyck style maturity teased. Her husband grinned with a crooked dentured smile. “Of course. “ he amended sagely.
“But for the bachelors at this table, “ the good Doctor from Detroit chimed in. “We thank you and Ms. Landers all the same. Am I correct, Mr. Zachary? “
So odd that the one actor among us, with boy next door features, just past average and on their way to exceptional, simply nodded with placid confirmation.
“You know, “ Mrs. Weston was saying. “I have this friend back home who has the tiniest dispute with her Association over an itsy bitsy garden … “
“I see we share something in common. “ chuckled Jeremy, though clearly his direct gaze hoped that I might share more by evenings end.
“ We do, Mr. Topher? “ I asked, Tanya mocking me with a ‘Go for Topher. ‘ thumbs up.
“We both have folks asking for advice in our off hours. “
“Hmm. “ I responded, with little feeling toward diplomacy. “isn’t that interesting? “ and clearly by my tone it wasn’t.
Still, there was something about William Zachary which I couldn’t quite put my finger on. His distance from our banter reawakened the reporter in me.
“And how about you, William? “ I asked with the most demure wheedle I could muster. I lowered my eyes slightly as I’d seen other women do to provoke us … to provoke men. “Do folks on the street ask you to do Shakespeare? Or maybe a Broadway show tune? “
“Uh, no, not really. “ at least I got a touch of interest, even if it was offered with a certain self-deprecation.
“You are an actor, yes? “ I tried again, leaning toward him to let my nicely displayed girls do their job. “or did I miss … ? “
“Off-Off Broadway, a brief understudy gig for Spam a Lot. I did some summer stock in Connecticut, played Bud in my High School’s version of ‘Death of A Salesman. ‘ Waited table at a Village Bistro.“ he explained, his flushed cheeks heightening his cute factor. “It’s the usual ‘Struggling Actor. ‘ riff. “
“I’m surprised you can afford to take a cruise then, William. “ Tanya interjected, using her sexiest smile to offset any implied criticism.
“Actually, “ our now totally embarrassed target chuckled. “I’m not a passenger, I’m part of the entertainment. “
“Song and Dance? “ I pressed, shelving my rather sorry suspicions reluctantly, his attitude understandable now. “Jokes done in Bad Taste? “
“Emcee at the Karaoke Bar. “ he answered with such a right on dead pan, the rest of the table cracked up. “I’m gonna kill my agent when I get back. “
“So when does the show start? “ I blurted out, not quite sure why I was interested. “We definitely have to see this. I mean, show our support. “
“Uh, ten o’clock, “ the young man shot back with a flash of sardonic humor. “but I’ll make sure you have your time at the mike, Ms. Foster. “
“God help us all if she does. “ Tanya added, not helpful at all, though behind her tease there was a question she wanted to ask me. “Do you remember that night at Bailey’s … ? “
“Don’t you start. “ I warned, half serious as she was on a roll.
“Our Ms. Foster had a thing for this fine Celtic boy, just off the boat from Dublin. She drunkenly swore to him that she could sing the entire Irish Anthem without one mistake. Well, she tried and it would be like our Doctor Topher trying to perform like P. Diddy … “
“I like P. Diddy. “ he protested mildly. “Or maybe Tone Loc … “
“Don’t go there. “ Tanya warned him off, though less severe than I would’ve expected. “Let’s just say that Johnny Boy actually liked her mangled version. By the end of the night he was telling Karen he was going to call Home and have them change it.
"You care to sing a few verses, Hon? I bet you still remember … “
“And I’ll bet I don’t “ I countered, adjusting my chair as I fell back on a tried but true feminine cliché. “But I bet I do need to go to the powder room. Tanya? “
“Oh, of course. If you’ll excuse us a moment. “ she hastily confirmed. As we both stood up I was amused by the men rising slightly in respect.
It still struck me as odd, this view of manners from my female perspective. Carl had done it because that was how Dad had explained it to him. It had been a different time, yet some things refused to go away entirely …
Not quite two months to get used to the wonderful and frustrating world of women, yet there were nuances I didn’t quite master. For instance, the ability to say something which, as Lewis Carroll once remarked. “Means what I want it to. “
In this case, as I settled myself in the stall, Tanya’s amused voice drifted over from the long vanity table. “So you really did need to go. What? You wanted a spotter? “
“In a way, “ I shot back. “since you’d been making faces all through dinner. I thought maybe you wanted to compare notes? “
“Or wanted to see which stud you were looking to bone, girl. “ she chided me, toning it down as several other women entered. “Did you think that Mr. Right would actually be sitting at our table? “
“Right or Wrong, you gotta start somewhere. “ I joked. “So any prospects there ? You weren’t that far behind me, tramp! “
Tanya was actually quiet as I exited the stall, touching up her face while two sweet young things next to us nattered about nothing.
One of them, this petite little red-head, took note of me for a brief second before returning back to her conversation.
Finally, as they finished up whatever business they had, I heard my friend sigh. “So what’s up with you, Kay-Kay? “
“What’s what? “
“I know it’s been a few years since we last talked, but I just have to know. Were you doing serious drugs between then and now, or what? “ she blurted out.
“I know people change, but since that night at your folks place, I felt like I was being seriously pumped for information by you. “
“I’m still me. “ I admitted, though whether it was Carl or Karen speaking, I wasn’t quite sure myself. “And in every way, especially now, I’m your friend. Can you trust that, T ? More importantly, can you trust me? “
I put out as earnest an appeal as I could muster, for the sake of two women whom I’d come to respect. And here was one who had such a history with Karen,
I couldn’t fathom it … but I knew that I wanted to desperately.
A gaggle of gals burst in, chatting like magpies while Tanya’s mocha colored cheeks actually darkened. “I think they’re missing us, girlfriend. Must’ve thought you fell in or something. Shall we go back? “
I grinned in response before diving into my clutch purse to quickly fix my face, good to go as we headed back to the dining room. But even as I started down the short broad steps, I felt her hand give me a discreet swat on my behind, before moving to the small of my back.
“I don’t know what’s going on in your life now, and someday I’m gonna make you spill, but I do trust you. So let’s go dazzle, girlfriend. “ Tanya suggested cheerfully.
And for the rest of the evening … we did.
July 23rd.
It was the sun streaming through the half closed curtains which woke me, a vague warmth on my contorted half naked body. I didn’t remember how I got back to our stateroom, or into this dove white sheer camisole, quite exposed as I’d kicked the sheets off.
Thankfully, I was alone. Somewhere between the last toast, followed by a serving of a sickly sweet custard and coffee, I thought that I recalled William saying something …
My musings were interrupted by a quiet tapping on the door, regaining enough modesty to grab a dressing gown before answering. “Just a second. “
Tanya was nowhere in sight as I found a server with Breakfast, smiling brightly even as I pulled my wrap tighter about me. He trundled the cart in, the smell of bacon and eggs disturbing my slightly queasy stomach.
“Compliments of Ms. Landers. You’ll find a note on the tray? “
I nodded absently and he left conspicuously slow, no doubt enjoying the view as much as he dared. But I couldn’t bring myself to call him on it, not after the talk I’d had with Tanya the night before … just what was that all about?
‘Morning, Sleeping Beauty. ‘ read the greeting with her trademark sass. ‘You needed time to work the generous amount of alcohol out of your system. Just like Bailey’s, do you finally remember that? But don’t worry too much if you don’t. Just eat your food and absolutely drink the Hair of The Dog. When you’re done, put on your suit and join me poolside. ‘
I blushed somewhat at the P.S. obviously my forgotten performance up to Karen’s old standards as Tanya amended. … ‘And don’t worry about William. I made your apologies to him since you were definitely Uncommunicative. But he wanted you to know he enjoyed the two sets you did.
'Did you really chose ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman?’ and ‘You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Women? ‘ or was that coincidence? ‘
I couldn’t imagine how naughty I’d been, or if somewhere a tiny part of Karen’s personality wasn’t influencing this former male’s behavior.
I downed the Bloody Mary, Tanya’s Hair of The Dog, to steady my nerves. It actually made me feel less good about being the bad girl.
It wasn’t the reputation I wanted to cultivate, but somehow I understood that none of our acquaintances last night held it against me. Still, if this was jumping in with both feet, I wished for a Life Jacket when I hit the water …
The water was the last thing on my mind as I arrived at the fair sized pool, mid-ship. It wasn’t meant for much beyond soaking, already choked with bathers even at 11:00 in the morning.
I was wearing another of Mom’s little gifts. It wasn’t that tiny by bikini standards, but the pink coral pattern Bra and Panties still made me feel like I was performing for ’Girls Gone Wild. ‘
Tanya waved to me. I couldn’t very well act like a bashful school girl at my age, so I stuck out my chest and tried to act natural.
“Look whose finally up to greet the day. “ she remarked smartly from her lounge, casual in her own red-brown two piece. “You seem fairly alert. “
“Do I thank you for putting me to bed? “ I queried, plopping my padded ass down beside her. “Or is there something else I’m going to have to live down? “
“You really are something, girl. “ Tanya laughed, playfully rubbing my left arm. “No, despite all your best efforts, you and William never made the hookup last night. But you do have a walk around the ship scheduled. He’s gonna meet you here.
"Did this have anything to do with what you were trying to find out? About the men at our table, I mean. “
“It was just a vibe I was getting. “
“A vibe, huh? “ she teased. “What are you, Disco Girl all at once? Maybe you were just horny? “
“Maybe. “ I confessed. “But you’re the one who told me to put myself out there … “
“And you think that William could be our mystery man? “ Tanya chided me, though obviously I’d gotten her into the game now. “He’s cute but why not Mr. Weston? For an old guy he’s pretty smooth … “
“And we think that our suspect would be a real charmer. “ I rolled my eyes, involuntarily causing a minor traffic jam among the men as I stretched my legs “I need some help with this and you’re cracking jokes. For that matter, why not consider Doctor Detroit? You seemed ready to … “
“On principle, honey. “ she countered with mock innocence. “He is a doctor, after all. But what’s with the urgency? We have some five days to scope out other prospects. Why settle now? “
“I’m not really settling, “ I protested, mindful of something The Professor had said. “but I’ve a hunch he’s closer than we think. Besides, every guy on this ship is on the make … “
“Making what? “ interrupted a voice from behind me, a pair of firm masculine hands lightly massaging my shoulders. I felt a small tingle in a place which would have made The Professor chuckle, my biology betraying me.
While I resisted the temptation to squeeze my thighs together, I covertly readjusted my pose while looking up into William’s hazel eyes.
“Making sure our girl was mobile enough for your date, hon. “ Tanya answered with smug humor, mocking my ill concealed interest.
“A date? “ I blurted out as William affected a quizzical expression.
“It’s not a date? “ he asked, that goofy smile making me blush all the way down to my modest cleavage. “Uh, sure it is. I mean … “ I returned hastily.
“You kids go have fun. “ Tanya encouraged, laying back to better display her wares for more available men. “I’ll just hang here and see what swims by. “
“I hope you make out. “ our Emcee Handsome joked, earning him a hairy eyeball from my room-mate as he helped me to my feet. As laidback as he was at dinner, this emergence of easy charm seemed almost a 180 degree turn for him.
The little upturn to his lips signaled approval of my bikini, and again I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.
“Do you mind if we drop by my cabin to get a wrap? “ I suggested as William feigned a disappointed expression. “If you must. “ he teased.
Again with a hand resting comfortably across my shoulder, yet I accepted this begrudgingly as part of this attractive package I was bound to.
I’d forgotten about his circumstance until William gave a low whistle as we arrived at my room, his eyes off his lady to take in our plush surroundings. “So, this is how the other half lives. “
“Not really, “ I scolded with a playful punch to his ribs. “this is what you get when your best friend works for the cruise line. “
“I should get me some friends like that. “ this wanna-be actor dead-panned, his attentions back where they belonged.
I turned to rummage through my closet for a sarong style wraparound. The way he stared, and the way I felt, I expected his hands on me.
But William only flashed a Cheshire grin as I got myself together, surely knowing damn well what he was doing to me. While Carl might have been happy to postpone the inevitable, still I was slightly miffed as we left to take our stroll.
The weather was perfect with just a touch of wind to play with my skirt. We were outwardly like the other couples, out and about on deck, but honestly quite different inside. If Karen hadn’t braved the wrath of the Gods, would she have been here in the first place?
But I was Karen, or trying to be.
Our conversation was mundane, everyday. His life seemed almost scripted to reflect a thoughtful yet largely uncomplicated twenty something. He’d been raised by a single mother and older sister, another neat explanation for his ease before the fairer sex.
It should have, in retrospect, raised a red flag. But there was my own little problem to conflict with my once effective cynicism.
I’d dealt with the Neanderthal comments from the unwashed males well enough, perhaps a bit too scathing from Karen’s perspective.
My excuse was that I’d not been long behind the wheel of her classy chassis.
With Arthur and his kind, their puppy dog lust awakened an almost gleeful sense of power in me. I was impressed that a promise was enough to inspire the most amazing acts of devotion. The Professor, on the other hand, effectively undermined my developing feminine wiles at every turn.
And now here was William Zachary, and he scared me with his straight forward sincerity.
My date evidently sensed my confusion, his touch more firm, more consoling which I appreciated. “You two were friends since College. I guess it explains a lot. “
“Explains what? “
“Why Tanya’s so protective of you, which I can understand. You’re this crusading reporter, and according to folks I’ve talked to, pretty fearless in chasing down the bad guy, or gal. Still, since we first met, and this is probably way off base, there’s been a sorta Little Girl Lost vibe … “
He seemed scared as I laughed so hard so that passersby must have wondered if I was pitching a fit. Just as William was ready to call for a medic, I held up a hand as I took a deep calming breath. Disco Girl, my ass …
“I’m sorry. “ I gasped finally, flashing him a smile to let him know how fine I really was. “It’s just been the sorta weird stuff that … hold up, you’ve been checking up on me? “
“Well, everyone was talking a blue streak about your articles, essays, how you were ‘The Darling of the Underdog, and Last Hope of the Unappreciated. ’ “
“You’re saying you never read even one of my columns? “ the sharp tone caught him off guard and Will stuttered abit. “I-I, not until I Googled you this morning. I didn’t want you to think I was just some dumb actor type … “
I held tight to another outburst, letting slip a giggle or two before giving into a random action. For such a careful man, he wasn’t that slow to put his arms about me as I gave him a firm embrace.
“You … are a very sweet man, and I am a very silly woman. “
The first kiss was astonishing, because while I expected it, my position was different now.
It wasn’t being female, I didn’t think so, though having been dried up for so many years, the level of release was an amazing distraction.
I wondered, just for an instant, if this was what Karen felt, but decided ‘What The Hell. ‘ as I moved in for a second helping.
I couldn’t be sure if it was French Farce or Clown College, whether William or I were leading.
In matters of Romance I’d been trained by Gable and Lombard, Rock Hudson and Doris Day, folks for whom my eager suitor had less than a kissing acquaintance with.
Kissing … we were practically non-stop with that; not that I was complaining at the time, groping each other like randy teenagers.
By the time we’d reached the elevator, I was ready to shed my skimpy attire right then and there. It was certain The Professor would be paid handsomely, damn him!
Still, we held on until the moment I scrabbled in my purse for the key to my suite. I scarcely noticed the ’Do Not Disturb.’ sign hung on the door.
William had me pressed against the door as I pushed it open with my ass, arching my back slightly to help him reach the hook to my bra. But just as he’d started slipping it off, there was a muffled familiar cry from Tanya’s side, and a male voice saying something I couldn‘t quite hear.
“Ohhh shi .. , girlfriend! “ she called out. “We gotta get our signals straight! Go away! “
I backed out promptly, or more correctly William did, dragging me along as I reached behind to slam the door shut.
“My room? “ He choked back laughter while thoughtfully pulling my straps back over my slender shoulders. I wondered, for a half second, just exactly who Tanya was entertaining. My own stud returned to kissing me and I really didn’t care anymore.
Back to the elevator, we ignored our fellow passengers who clearly enjoyed our antics as part of the amenities aboard Amore del Mare II.
“Next show’s at ten. “ he quipped as we came up for air. They chuckled, sharing a look, perhaps inspired to go make their own mischief.
It seemed forever until we got to his much smaller cabin, but it had a bed, and I was in trouble down below. My body needed satisfaction, Stat! William was game to try, fighting the belt around his slacks until it looked like a great white hunter wrestling an anaconda.
I was already undressed by then, and at this point at a loss to understand exactly my part in this operation. Mostly I lay back, alternately frustrated and amused by his comic striptease, and this was where the Clown College action entered in.
Several pratfalls later my would be lover finally dropped his drawers.
Entered in … feeling very much like the virgin bride, though evidently my Godly Makers had not reconstructed Karen with her maidenhead intact. But with an old man at the helm, I was just as awkward and scared at my first time as Receiver. William, for all his bumps and bruises, in reaching the Promised Land, paused only briefly to fumble for condoms before easily slipping between my seriously lubricated thighs.
Will went at his task like a piston, my body soon deciding to get off the bench and into the game. I played the mattress mambo with an enthusiasm which almost knocked my lover off the narrow bed. As I submitted to the will of my female physiology, all at once I thought I had an epiphany, but it might have been the eruption down below.
The stray thought was soon lost in the yell which likely shattered glasses in the ship’s kitchen.
After that, I had at least two more … no, not revelations, so worn out by the end that I’d considered this a bonus to the transformation. And as I rested against his solid lightly muscled and wonderfully naked frame, William softly whispered things which I wouldn’t even put down in this journal.
It was one of Carl memories, a veteran’s hospital where a foolish young soldier lay recuperating. His condition appeared less dire a state than the doctors had first thought. It wasn’t specifically combat … OK, there’d been a fight, but between two GI’s over some skirt at the USO, and then the other fella pulled a knife.
She was a pretty little blonde, barely more than a child, away from Home for the first time. But we were both eager, and I’d looked pretty spiffy in my army uniform. Soon the action was going hot and heavy, in the back of this Cadillac parked outside the club …
She’d forgotten she’d made certain promises to the Lieutenant, whispering the same sweetness in Carl’s ear while he clumsily fondled her pert little breasts.
All those Hygiene lectures which the Army invested Time and Money in had gone out the window, along with his trousers and boxers.
What can I say? I thought it was Love. When that sorry excuse of an officer pulled this grunt out on his bare-butt, I was ready to defend it. That was when the switch blade, non-regulation, slid into my belly and nearly punctured my spleen.
It was also where a soldier by the name of Tony Vicenzo jumped in to save my honor and my life, starting a long rocky friendship for the two of us.
I woke with a start to find William’s half erect manhood nestled with an odd familiarity against my ass. His nose breathed in my musky scent as gentle lips nuzzled my neck. What just happened?
I’d done the deed, with a man I’d barely met, and on a less than subtle level I wanted to do it again. Did this make me a slut?
It was an odd feeling, this sense of indignity over what had been a wonderful thing, of which I’d played no small part in after all.
“Hey there, “ his pleased voice whispered in my ear, more than ready for another round of ‘Hide The Salami. ‘ to which my body was reflexively willing. I was not that innocent seductress from another age, however, feeling like I was being smothered by a comfortable yet suffocating blanket.
All at once the need for Air superseded the want to screw like rabbits. “Hey, you OK? “
“Uh, fine, really. “ I murmured, feeling horrible that William had sensed my rejection, figuring that he was perhaps a little embarrassed as well.
“I mean, it was good, right? “ he asked.
“It just surprised me, that’s all. “ I told him gently, wanting to touch his face but still unwilling to start up again.
Not just yet, I decided, not until I had time to consider my options. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. I just … “
“You just want a little space right now, sure. “ he pulled back slightly, regarding me with mild hurt. “How about you go find your friend? If you still want to, come by the club later. So long as we’re good … “
“We are good, “ I insisted, though hastily gathering up my clothes as I did, perhaps it smacked of Insincerity. “Really truly. “
Love, Sex, and all the embarrassing moments in between, was scarcely particular to any age or any generation. It was all Inspiration yet paradoxically Practical. As a comic genius had once declared. “The First Relationships were based on Fear. We watched each others back. Unless you were on safe ground. “
I think that Carl had never exactly felt on safe ground. In any case, not enough to find that girl who would be willing to look behind him forever. Except for Gail, especially with Gail, and how easy it had been to let her slip away …
I was pleased to find the sign off the door to my suite, feeling a bit ripe following my afternoon delight. Tanya was out on our balcony, wearing just a silk purple robe. She was working on a laptop, all alone.
My girl started in with an impish smirk but dropped it at the tired look on my face.
I really thought I wanted to be left by myself, to soak away my confusion, but apparently friends didn’t let friends stew alone, even in whirlpool baths.
“Doctor Detroit? “ I asked as she wandered in to do her business, then came over to sit on the edge of the low tub.
“Oh yah. “ she frowned. “He showed up shortly after you two left. One great massage later, and suddenly his fingers were in very familiar places.
“Not that I would’ve minded, but Topher isn’t the go to guy for any level of sensitivity. I cut him off before we got any farther than some prelim petting. I think you went beyond that though. “
“Oh yah. “ I murmured, feeling slightly better with someone to talk to. It had been that way shortly after my change, forcing myself to meet the parents of the girl whose body I’d stolen. OK, technically not, but she was gone and here I was. “Way Beyond. “
“And this was a bad thing? “ Tanya inquired pointedly. “Was he that terrible in the sack? He didn’t hurt you, did he? “
“Nooo. “ I ventured slowly, the heat rising from more than just the bath water. “It was amazing for my first … I mean, the first in quite a while. The Professor would … “
“You got together with someone else, and you cheated on him with William? “ my best friend exclaimed, grabbing a hand sympathetically. “No wonder you’re messed up! “
“No, I mean, The Professor’s just a colleague, and a friend … I guess. It’s just we sort of have this job to do, and what was I thinking? spreading for the first guy who … “
“Who actually seems like someone you could enjoy, and could enjoy you? “ she pressed, grinning at the soft mystified expression on my face.
“I mean, here I was with Dr. D, and you were with our sexy Emcee Hunk … I believe you got the better of the deal. “
“But what if he is our guy? “
“I’ve been reviewing the past several incidents, and this is the only cruise that William Zachary has been on. If he’s telling the truth, that is. So while it doesn’t exactly place him in the clear … “
“I guess I’m going to find out tonight. “ I sighed, toweling myself off before mentally selecting the perfect outfit for my mission. “I made a promise, so … “
“Well, I’d tell you to be Good, “ she chuckled, giving me a kiss on my damp forehead. “but that’s kinda out the window … “
“Bitch. “
“Just part of our Friendly Service. But I will catch up with you later on. Now get yourself together, sister. “
I’d figured on catching him early, perhaps get a chance to confirm or reject my renewed suspicions.
Weaving my way through the early evening throng, I bumped into someone I hadn’t thought of since the first day aboard Amore del Mare II. When I fell into those laughing auburn eyes, William was almost forgotten … almost.
“Ms. Foster. “ Second Officer De La Croix greeted me with a smile. “I’ve missed you since Dinner last night. Was my company that unpleasant? “
“I … of course not. “ I remarked with something akin to awkwardness. “I had a lead on our shipboard stalker and I followed up on it .. “
“With Mr. Zachary. “ Did I catch a hint of jealousy behind his matter of fact response? “ Did you get what you wanted from him? “
‘Really … Mr. De La Croix. It’s none of your business who I associate with.. “
This possessive attitude from the men in my life, most of them anyway, already annoyed this new girl more than she could say. Well, The Professor had never staked his claim, not blatantly in any case, for which I’d felt a certain gratitude ...
“You’re right, of course. “ Ramon admitted, smiling somewhat sadly, as if confirming something he’d already suspected. “I did have hopes that we might spend some time together on this cruise, but clearly you’ve already been taken.
"If things don’t work out … but then again I just might have other plans. If I can find someone to help with the arrangements that is. “
“Uh, I’m glad you’re handling this so well and that … what do you mean, Already Been Taken? “ I hadn’t remembered even hinting that William and I had … “Were you spying on me? “
“Good evening to you, Karen. “ his eyes penetrating through to the small of my exposed back. The frustratingly handsome officer started to leave but turned for just a second. “That is a lovely dress by the way, very sexy. I’m sure it will help turn him on. “
With that sharp parting shot, De la Croix disappeared into the crowd, leaving this young woman flabbergasted in her little light blue cocktail dress.
Karaoke Khaos was a smaller annex to the main bar, serving capacity just shy of 150. Sound proof walls muffled the din from the larger venue and it was dimly lit save for a bank of gel spotlights, used to effectively embarrass drunken performers.
I felt like all those lights were focused on me as I intruded upon the setup. Last night it had evidently been Green, but now … a brilliant red.
“Sound check, sound che … “ announced a lanky quite young technician, sweet enough in an unassumingly geeky way. Probably he was quite unaware of his potential, given a decent makeover.
“Can I help you? “ he asked, another Arthur Faber in the making. “Please tell me I can help you … “
“I’m looking for William. He said he’d be here? “ I couldn’t quite avoid a certain neediness to the question, my heightened appreciation of men out in full now.
I pondered my choices, if any, until all considerations were rendered moot by the sound of his voice.
“Hey. “ Ok, so it wasn’t Shakespeare, crossed garters aside. If a picture was worth a thousand words, then the reverse, this simple welcome retrieved a vivid sea of sexual images to my mind. “I see you decided to come by. “
“Well, “ I answered self consciously, accepting a tiny kiss on the cheek from my main suspect. “I did promise, didn’t I? “
“Well, I guess you did. “ William’s lukewarm response was slightly mystifying to me. “But Hey, A Woman’s Prerogative. We’re almost done here, did you want Dinner? “
“I could probably go for Food, “ In truth I was starving, unfed since Breakfast, but evidently a girl had to set her priorities. “but better make it something light? Maybe I should stay off the sauce as well. At least for tonight. “
“Sounds like a plan. “ he approved, signing to the sound guy who gaped with bare-faced admiration at this girl. “Teddy, We Good? “
“Nothing more here that I can’t do on my own. “ Teddy responded only to add with hopeful tact. “You could bring me back a burger? With an extra girl on the side, I mean ... “
“I’ll see if one of the stewards can’t get something to you. “ William laughed and even I smiled a bit as he suggested. “ As for the other … I don’t know. Karen? You think maybe Tanya might? “
I was sorely tempted to pimp my cabin-mate out to this awkward young man, as Payback, but decided she’d consider it an upgrade after the abortive encounter with Doctor D. “She might come in later, but he shouldn’t get his hopes up. “
“And my hopes? “
“We’ll see about that after I’m fed. “ I temporized, his soft whisper in my ear forcing me to refocus on the task at hand. I wanted to know if something beyond normal Girl Lust was at work here.
We had drinks in the open lounge, though in my case it was Ginger Ale. We sat quietly back against the half circular couch, watching the passengers stroll by.
It was an uncomfortable silence between us, though more from my part as his. William was practically unreadable as a pretty little waitress brought my small chicken salad and a refill on my drink. We spotted the Westons’ and they were apparently pleased to see us together.
Thankfully the elderly couple were content to simply wave before going off to some other destination.
I toyed with my food for several minutes before he finally spoke. “So … are you pissed off because we slept together? Or is there something else you’d like to tell me? “
“What makes you say that?! I exclaimed, somewhat startled though in hindsight it made sense.
“Funny thing I heard from a bartender and a couple others. Evidently there were disturbances on some earlier cruises? It was Robbery or something like that? “
“Depends on your definition of Stolen Property, I guess. “ the words came out before I could think straight, a well manicured hand to my lips unable to stop them.
I knew at the moment I said it, my eagerness to uncover a conspiracy, my ambiguity toward our unplanned romp, had resulted in one Hell of a Mistake.
“And you’re not on this cruise to simply relax, right? What is it? A crusade? Out for some kind of Story? “ he pressed, no otherworldly creature here, only a young man betrayed.
“That was why you wanted to get close. You and Tanya had some kind of Sting going on, and I was your patsy! “
“Actually, A Patsy is a Fall Guy. “ I corrected automatically, wondering just how much more I could mess up this up. “You were a Suspect … at first, only at first. “
“I think I’m the one who needs some air here. “ He decided firmly, pausing for the slightest moment to see what I had to say. “I’d like to say it’s OK, but that would be a lie, and at least one of us should tell the whole truth. “
“Will, I … “
“Just let it go, Karen. “ my man, no, correct that, my lover held up a hand as I started to follow. I thought I could flirt, make a joke, explain my reasons for being an Idiot. “Let me go, OK? “
I let him, watching as his shoulders slumped, suddenly aware my wide eyes were moist. It appeared that I was about cry like … well, like the girl I was now.
If I’d been Carl I would have simply covered my error with macho B.S. In a way I was still Carl, mostly, and he wanted to find the nearest bar and get wrecked.
July 24th;
I’d avoided everyone like the plague, choosing instead to nurse my pity over a beer and several shots of … I don’t remember exactly what. My raccoon eyes probably would’ve made me a target for the legions of shipboard Lotharios, or even our stalker.
Happily, the sour mash mood proved as effective as Mace in keeping the males at bay.
I recalled that Tanya did indeed come by, clearly disappointed to see her best girl sulking like some prom night reject. But when her solicitous attempts to draw me out failed, she simply hauled me off to bed, remarking somewhat sardonically that she hoped this wasn’t going to be a habit.
At first light I felt seriously like staying beneath the covers but forced myself out of bed. I ordered room service for the two of us, even giving my room-mate a forced smile as she emerged from a long shower.
“So, you ready to tell me? “
“I messed up … Big Time. “ I muttered crossly. “William’s angry, and I guess he has a right to be. We’re no closer to discovering anything unusual aboard this ship, just the usual cruise line soap opera … “
“What did you say to William to piss him off, girl? “ she demanded firmly, divining the answer at once as I gamely fought against more waterworks. “He thought you were investigating him? Subtle, girlfriend. Real subtle. “
“Well, I was investigating him, in a roundabout way. “
“And you went to bed with him to pump him for information? Is that your usual way of getting a story? “
“Actually, he was doing a lot of the pumping … Hey! “ I protested as she flashed a huge ‘Told You So. ‘ smile at me. “That’s not Fair. “
“So sue me. “ Tanya laughed, taking my hands in hers. “We’ve both been half assed about this whole thing, and in your case that’s a lot of ass … “
“Your mama. “ I shot back, though not with any real anger as I realized how much of a friend she really was.
“ … and it’s as much my fault as yours. I guess I should take some responsibility for dragging you along, so let’s get out there and find us a stalker. “
In contrasting the investigative styles of an old has-been reporter and this younger consumer advocate, I can only say this. That despite a very similar dedication to our craft, a relentless push for Full Disclosure, by days end she was the more honest of the two of us.
I was beginning to understand this as I walked the length of Amore del Mare II, casually talking with various young ladies, one of whom I’d had a nodding acquaintance with …
“I thought you looked kinda familiar. “ gushed one Rochelle Sandburg, Petite Psychology student from University of Pennsylvania, excited to discover a celebrity of sorts aboard. “You’re much prettier in person. That photo they use for your column isn’t very flattering, ya know? "
“I sure do. “ I agreed, in sync for once with my fellow woman.
Vanity, while never really an exclusive female trait, for our gender had been almost an art form in exaggeration.
Even from Day One; in closely examining Karen’s past efforts, I’d found the quite grainy misrepresentation disturbing. “But what were you saying a minute ago about Profiling? “
“Well, I just find it kinda funny. Here we are, freely involved in a traditional social experiment, our best faces on. But eventually the masks must come off, and our expectations challenged, ya know? “
“You mean ‘The more we learn, the more we find out what we don’t know? ‘ “ I teased, trying to spot the scholar behind the girl before me, a lingering roundness to her fresh cheeks with a sly hint of freckles.
It made me laugh to think of Ms. Sandburg in her red/white polka-dot bikini top and snug white shorts, delivering a serious lecture before her class. “Very academic of you. And how does this apply to something as mundane as a cruise? “
“Only that I’m prepared to be disappointed … a lot. “ Rochelle smiled sweetly. “But occasionally we might find a Happy exception, or two? “
“That’s true, if you recognize it when it does come along. “ I ventured, perhaps too obvious with my own regret.
She brightened at once, that blithe spirit filled with youthful certainty as she replied. “And that eventually you’ll get what you need? “
I held back the obvious dry retort, thank you Mick Jager, pretending that the gap between us were Years instead of Decades. “Of course. “
“So, are you and your girlfriend clubbing tonight? “
“Clubbing? “ I repeated stupidly.
“As in feeling the Fun, joining my friends and I in a few drinks, scoping out the guy action … “ she explained carefully, bobbing her head slightly to look in my eyes.
“No. I mean, I know what clubbing is, and it sounds doable . “
“It’s settled then. “ Ms. Sandburg confirmed, waving to her aforementioned friends across the way. “It’ll be a blast, for sure. “
“I’m sure. “ I hid my lack of enthusiasm well, even as Rochelle exchanged some cheerful words with Tanya ,who came in on the end of our conversation.
“Making new friends I see. Smart too. “ Tanya laughed, after the girl left.
“And a future recruit for the Feds at Quantico at that. She did make one good point, however. Unfortunately it means he’ll likely strike before we spot him. On the other hand, we have a date with our cute co-ed to scope out the guy action. Maybe we’ll get lucky? “
“If he’s here at all. “ for the first time Tanya sounded uncertain. “He’d hit twice on each of the past few excursions. I was counting on the man getting cocky. But what if he decided to try one of our other ships? “
“It was always gonna be iffy, in any case. “ I advised, feeling back on familiar ground.
Kolchak had stumbled through most of his stranger cases, Blind Luck being his Ace in The Hole. “But I’m still game to try. After all, what else do we got going on this cruise? “
If I’d asked earlier, I was certain she would’ve had a long list of possible people, read men. But as it would turn out, I was to discover just how distracted I could get …
Up to this point I’d decided to concentrate upon the task at hand. That was until Mrs. Weston, ever the romantic, decided to toss her own rock into my emotional mine field.
“So, both James and I were thrilled to see you with William last night. Ever since that first introduction at dinner, you seemed bent on chasing him. Honestly dear, he was hardly running. “
Late afternoon lunch, just us three girls, and yet I idly picked at the sliver of salmon on my plate. Tanya, ever tactful, eyed my slow dissection of the inoffensive fish and turned to Jenny as she said. “Well, it seems that our boy’s qualifying for the Boston Marathon now. “
“That’s a shame. Did he misbehave? Or not enough? “
“Actually, “ Tanya answered. “There was something that Karen and I were investigating. Well, the truth is that I was investigating and Karen was along for the ride … “
“You didn’t exactly twist my arm when you asked me. “ I protested. “Maybe just a little, but still. “
“Hold on, girls. “ Mrs. Weston interrupted brusquely, very much like an old style school-mistress. “What was the problem? And what does this have to do with Mr. Zachary? “
So we explained everything to Jenny, and when the both of us finished she was shaking her head.
“And here I was thinking we had an axe murderer or the Anti-Christ onboard. But you, young lady … “ she pointed an accusing finger my way. “ … to even think William Zachary was your mystery masher. After the way you pressed him, it’s only natural that he returned the favor. “
“And that still doesn’t help with our stalker. “ I complained so fiercely that Jenny blinked.
“But the two are connected, can’t you see that? “ she scolded us. “What’s important is not the man, but rather the women he seduced. You both came into this thinking he was a snake charmer, a used car salesman, when in truth he was the opposite. He would have to be to attract such a wide variety of women. “
“And he would a reflection for their hopes and desires? “
“And much more besides. “ clucked the older woman. “Still, this cockamamie idea you had about being Bait? “
“Yes? “ I asked stupidly.
“It wouldn’t have worked. Because, in order to draw him to you? You would’ve needed to be filled. Figuratively, of course. By the end of the first night, You’d found what you wanted … “
“William? “ I countered with mild annoyance, though more at myself. Hardly a perfect plan, but Jenny was absolutely right. “So, William’s Mr. Right? “
“Or Mr. Right Now, does that really matter? “
“I suppose not. “ I murmured thoughtfully, swayed by her firm grasp of the obvious. “But first … “
“You need to make things right with your man, young lady. “ she challenged. “So long as you leave this unresolved, it will make the rest that much harder. “
“And just how am I suppose to do that when he isn’t talking to me? “
“By putting it all in song. “ Jenny smiled
I was still ambivalent toward their grand scheme to reunite lovers parted. Tanya, in any case, firmly held my elbow to keep her best gal from making a run for our stateroom.
Still I stood, frozen in wavering confidence just outside the club entrance. Guilt than anything else pressed me forward into that noisy throng. Rochelle, ever vigilant, spotted us at once. “Hey, Karen! See, Girls? I told you she’d show up! “
Her exuberance seemed infectious, the notion that in her mind I, that is to say Karen Klein, was someone worthy of honor. This was definitely a better part of this package, and it brought a natural smile to my lips, even as she pressed a wine glass in my hand.
“Drink Up, the night’s just getting started. “
I was oh so cautious, the fuzzy memories of my previous bender still fresh enough that I nursed the Chablis, even as Rochelle introduced her two ship-mates, Carla Jensen and Natalie Bruno.
Carla was willow thin, rather laidback beside her more boisterous friends. Natalie, almost Amazonian in stature, deeply tanned foil for Ms. Sandburg’s enthused attitude. The way they bounced off each other, it clearly tickled Tanya’s own college memories.
For my part, I simply leaned back and allowed the runaway dialog to flow over me, just soaking up the ambiance until an oddity caught my wandering eye.
Just for a second I thought I saw a familiar face, even as that mischievous grin let me know he’d caught me looking. But before I could confirm his presence, the crowd swirled about him and he vanished.
“So, I was wondering if your agent ever works with novice writers? ”
“I’m sorry, what? “ it was gone, even as I found Natalie giving me a quizzical look.
“I mean, how exactly do you break into your brand of journalism anyway? I can be as outraged as the next girl. “ she said, all serious.
“Well, being nosy for one thing. “ I temporized, surveying the crowd a final time before giving up. “Having a deep desire to help others, is another, I suppose. But even with the best intentions, there’s one underlying quality which keeps a critic honest. “
Even as the girls leaned forward in anticipation, I could finally give Tanya the truly honest smile she deserved. “If you know who your true friends are … everything else eventually makes sense. “
The sideways looks which our young ladies shot each other made me wonder, just how solid their own sisterhood was. It would be tested, I was sure of that.
But for myself, I hoped that I’d taken that first real step toward certifying Tanya and my relationship.
It was not hers to prove, in any case. She operated on a practical sort of Faith, that I would eventually reward the trust she’d placed in Karen. And even now, a portion of that debt was about to be paid.
I couldn’t say that William was surprised to see me enter Karaoke Khaos, but he played it cool with a poker face that any serious gambler would’ve paid major Coin for. I was decidedly less so, my Tell, an open embarrassment which actually prettied my cheeks better than any makeup. As we girls found a small table near the front, the festivities were just getting started.
“Karaoke Khaos is all for the Fun. “ he announced a bit louder than I expected. The mike amplified his own nervousness which he covered with a cute cheesy grin. “But as our high tech sound system shows, it’s also the moment where we literally Face The Music, Hang out our hopes, our fears, for the audience here to judge. “
It was his idea of Pay Back, which I was more then ready for. William, however, clearly meant to make me squirm.
“So while we might want to be cruel, just remember kiddies that we’re all on the same boat together. So, who’s our first Victim, I mean Contestant? “
He passed me by, choosing a petite Korean girl from Alabama, Cindy, who confessed that her fiancé had dumped her right before the cruise. So it was only proper that she chose ‘Maybe Next Time He’ll Think Before He Cheats. ‘
While little Cindy did a decent impersonation of the artist, William went back to scanning the room for additional talent to fill his roster.
I’d dipped my head slightly, giving him the widest doe eyes every time he glanced my way, almost catching a smile. But he wasn’t buying it as our Emcee Hard To Get corralled another six people. Tanya finally leaned toward me. “Your man has a serious Grudge On. “
“And he means to keep me off the stage tonight. “ I told her, a mix of relief and annoyance welling up inside.
Tanya smirked somewhat, ready in her own way to back me. “Is that’s the tech geek you mentioned? Working the back of the stage … what was his name? “
“Teddy. Yep, that’s him. “ I responded, amused by her conspiratorial outrage.
“Then let me go work him and you get ready to sing your little heart out. “ she suggested with a sly flip of her hair.
Our new sisters were at first taken back to see my cabin mate flirting outrageously with the sound man.
They soon decided it was simply drunken high jinks, laughing at how out of her league he was.
It was all good fun until unexpectedly the stage lights and sound went down, halfway through a mangled version of ’I’m Too Sexy. ’by an Ad executive named Joey. In the confusion, people not certain if they were coming, going, or staying put, I took to the tiny stage.
I caught Tanya’s eye as she apologized profusely to Teddy for touching the wrong bit of equipment. Evidently it wasn’t terminal though, Teddy able to correct the problem with a simple reboot.
William was near the exit, just trying to calm everyone down as I picked up the still active mike. At the first hesitant strain, his eyes at last focused where they rightly should have been earlier.
“No, I can't forget that evening. Or your face as you were leaving. But I guess that's just the way the story goes.
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows. Yes, it shows. “
From Confusion back to Fun, good natured Hoots greeted what I thought to be a respectful on key rendition. But from my intended audience of One, there was something lurking behind those penetrating eyes. Good or Bad, I couldn’t tell.
“No, I can't forget tomorrow. When I think of all my sorrow. When I had you there but then I let you go. And now it's only fair that I should let you know. What you should know. “
Tanya was back with the girls, Rochelle and Company totally with me as I took the wireless microphone off its’ stand.
I strolled through the crowd with steady yet contrite steps, hiding a smile at the hopeful looks from several men. There was only one man this song was meant for, and at last I could see a faint upturn to his lips.
“I can't live if living is without you. I can't live, I can't give any more. I can't live if living is without you. I can't give, I can't give any more. “
“ No, I can't forget this evening. Or your face as you were leaving. But I guess that's just the way the story goes … “
William finally broke down as he took the mike from me, shaking his head with a bemused fondness.
I stood there with hands crossed behind my back, allowing him the next move as William swept me into his arms.
If I’d thought my first kiss was amazing, well … perhaps Make Up Sex really was the best kind as we stood lip locked for what seemed forever. The crowd went crazy with approval.
“You … are Impossible. “ William mumbled, vibrating my lips delightfully. He stepped back while still holding my shoulders, appraising my light blue cocktail dress, the twinkle in my eyes had his quiet approval.
I nodded sweetly as I couldn’t help but tease him just a bit. “I really am. But what can you do about it? “
“I’ll decide that later … after I finish up with all this. “ he countered with a stern tone. “Can you be Good until then? “
“I think so. “ I tried for the smallest voice I could muster but failed, a wicked grin on my face all the while.
Sure, it was relief, and lust, but also some elusive feeling in the back of my mind. I decided that I’d have to talk to The Professor about this, yet it didn’t necessarily signal a bad thing.
“Well, I can work with that. “ he answered, slowly untangling our bodies so to go wrap up Karaoke Khaos’ wild night. I still tingled with excitement even as Tanya and Rochelle caught me in an inspired collective bear hug .
“That … was so cool! “ the student fussed, clearly envious … in a sweet way. “You finally got what you needed … “
“That’s for later tonight. “ I giggled, already contemplating our next round in the sack. “But you have your theory, young lady. You just have put it into practice. “
“Well … “ she mused softly, casting a dubious look around us at the available candidates. “I’ve been disappointed so far … a lot. Maybe it’s time for that Happy Exception? “
“That ta girl. I guess you can consider this your Seaman’s Trial? “
“Semen? “ frowned Rochelle, even as Tanya snorted somewhat rudely. “Sailor Test, honey. “ I laughed, smacking my friend on her left arm. “It’s kind of a final exam, except at sea. “
“Ah. “ Ms. Sandburg blushed, her youthful cheeks as red as her roots. “That makes more sense … I guess. So long as I don’t need to know my knots. “
“Well, one thing at a time. “ I soothed, the sisterly advice so surreal in the face of my own novel perspective. “But go see the night out properly with your friends, and maybe I’ll see you tomorrow. “
“Okay, Coach. “ Rochelle kidded, giving me a smudgy peck on my left cheek for my troubles. “But if I don’t … well. You just might have other things going on? “
“Speaking of which, “ Tanya added as I watched William joking about onstage. “You and William take the big bed tonight. I’m going to the concierge office for awhile, get some work done. “
“I could help … “
“… by waking up in a good mood for once, girlfriend. “ she interrupted jokingly. At least I thought it was a joke. “I’ll be in late, so you two get as busy as you want. Kiss William for me, you lucky bitch. “
“Oh ya. “ I whispered to no one in particular, smugly impressed with my own trial and apparent triumph. “I am one Lucky Bitch, for sure. “
Even as I contemplated my prize, in one handsome package, I couldn’t have anticipated what affect my self important counsel had started.
July 25th
William and I had absolutely given the space foam mattress a serious workout, perhaps going beyond it’s factory specs as we went just a little crazy in our love making.
Was it Love? How did I know for sure?
If not Love, at least it was some seriously respectful boning, swapping places several times during each session, stopping only with the last grunt from our partner. That was more difficult than I imagined, trying to anticipate each others climax without cheating somewhat.
Being the woman, I was still unsure as to what, exactly, I wasn’t getting. Only that occasionally William missed the mark. My advantage over the lifelong girls was my total lack of humility, especially where Ego came into play.
I knew that when he wasn’t doing the job, I kept on until he would hit it right. When he did, it sent my already wired senses into overload.
We eventually retired to a worn yet blissful state, fingers idly caressing each other as we lay face to face. Such a moment of pure contentment, I never really registered this phantom emotion until several minutes after the fact.
It had the quality of an echo. The odd sensation which existed on the edge of my inner periphery, clearly had an opinion all its own.
As in the club, it felt strange but not dangerous, and instinctively I was encouraged by its presence. Like some guardian angel, it whispered me to sleep. I dreamt of all the people in my Life. Gail & Daniel, The Professor … even Arthur.
William pulled me close once again, his instinctive erection entering me, all other sweet memories banished. For the few remaining hours of the night, both awake and in slumber, all my thoughts turned to him
I woke up missing him terribly, my questing fingers stroking the cool hollow where his sturdy body once rested. It was slightly disorienting, how his absence upset me.
Carl had rarely admitted missing any woman, even Gail. But was this simply a girl thing? A Karen trait? Or had William revived something inside the former man which he’d never known he’d lost?
My fickle emotions, devoid of any real sensual depth, had now been filled, and I felt the empty space all the more for it. Just where the hell was William? Did he get what he wanted from me? Was this some kind of emotional payback for my deceit? Did I just imagine that he cared for me?
“Morning, sleepyhead. “ My fear fled before his merry voice, and I rolled over to give my beau a radiant smile. He’d trundled in our continental breakfast, an impressive layout of fruit and pastries, along with coffee, enough for several people.
“I know we were pretty vigorous last night, but whose gonna eat all this? “ I laughed, sitting upright to slip an egg-shell satin gown over my nude body.
I was somewhat annoyed that my lover was more dressed than I was, casual in his tan cargo shorts and matching T-shirt. It was then I noticed a third setting at the table as William first kissed my lips, then slid a raspberry Danish between them.
“Tanya will be joining us this morning. “ he answered. “She and I have been chatting while you were playing Sleeping Beauty. “
“And who says I was playing? “ I mused, all aglow as William gave me an approving once over look.
I wriggled off the bed, feeling the plush carpet between my bare toes as if for the first time. I felt devilish as I leaned seductively toward him, half a pastry sticking out of my mouth.
Quick to please, William leisurely nibbled it down to my moist lips where he sampled them for a time. As distracting as this was, something he said brought back my reporter’s interest. “What were you two talking about? “
“Life, The Universe, Your mystery man. “
“Uh, I don’t think I ever apologized properly for that … “ I began until he quieted me with another kiss.
“I think we can agree that you did. Several times over in fact, and I forgive you. I‘m almost flattered … almost.“
He took my hand quite naturally and I was bound to place it where it’d do the most good when Tanya interrupted our foreplay. She shook her head with mischievous delight, beaming like some proudly perverse parent. Despite her pride, she plopped down at the table all the same.
“And here I was, hoping to catch you two taking a breather. “ she groaned good naturedly.
“It’ll be hard … “ I began, squeezing William’s fingers tight to cut off any quip or other bad joke. “ … but we’ll be good. “
“It isn’t that big a deal. I just thought we could make the rounds some time today. Talk with Mrs. Weston. She’d like to know you guys are solid again … “
‘My God. Who else was in on this conspiracy? Did you ladies leave anyone out? “ he snorted with feign annoyance. “It’s like I’m trapped in some demented Chick Flick … “
“Well. We could turn that around real quick. “ Tanya grinned as she undid a few buttons to her modest halter top. I grabbed her hand before my man got too interested.
“ Or we could make the rounds. “ I retorted, amending quickly. “After Breakfast. “
In the midst of getting ready to catch up with Tanya, straightening out my rumpled mane, slipping on my dove white shorts and light blue top, he snuck up behind me. I welcomed the clinch, clinging to a touch of Insecurity, as well as William.
I turned to look up into those quiet eyes. To reassure myself more than him. “And the weird just keeps getting weirder, huh? “
“And yet I’m getting used to it. “ he chuckled easily, still holding me. “Is this a regular thing with you? “
“Which thing? Seducing young studs? Or Dealing with some really strange cases … ?“
“Both and neither. “ he murmured in my ear. “Just so long as I’m the only stud. For this voyage at least. As for the other thing … “
“Yes? “
“You could let me help? This guy might be dangerous.“
I was too tickled by the abrupt image of William in shining armor to be insulted.
Karen, while absolutely the fair maid, had proven herself more than capable in Carl’s measure. It felt good that he worried, in any case, but still I was concerned for him. “Perhaps, but don’t be going off all macho when I ask. Save that stuff for the bedroom, Okay? “
“We’re in the bedroom. “ he reminded me, cupping my ass gently in his hands. “You could stay … “
“I’m not going anywhere. “ I laughed, unfolding his fingers but firmly holding them. “It’s not that big a boat, kiddo. I’ll see you later on, say around two? “
“I’ll bring my Macho. “ He promised.
“So long as you’re not ‘Faster Than A Speeding Bullet. ‘ “ I told him from the exit, dodging away before a bit of pastry splattered against the door jam. This afternoon, I decided, would be very interesting …
As it turned out, our rendezvous was to be interrupted as I went to locate my girl. Instead, Tanya found me near the lounge.
“We have a problem, girlfriend. Our super stud struck Last Night. While you were getting your grove on, and I was working. “
“What happened? “
“It was a double-header. if you believe it? “ my cabin-mate explained. “A couple girls that we know … “
“Rochelle … And Natalie? “ I guessed. “They’re not hurt … “
“It was Carla and Rochelle. I wouldn’t think so. The ships doctor is with them now. “ she answered with a reassuring tone. “ I set Mrs. Weston to keep vigil with Natalie. It was more like they both were caught up in a state of euphoria. “
“Like A Date Rape drug. “ I suggested, following close behind as we headed for their cabin.
“If it was that. But for some reason I doubt it. They both seem fairly lucid if excitable, as if … “
“They just had the best sex? … ever? “
“Well, you’d know more about that than me. “ Tanya teased in a half jealous tone. “So maybe you can make sense of what they told us. In the meanwhile, I’ll help Jenny rein in our third wheel. She’s ready to go on a tear. “
On a tear was abit of an overstatement, but not by much. The statuesque student flipped her shoulder length raven locks away from the long face as we entered. “I heard you two were looking for this guy! Nice of you to warn us. “
“Now dear. “ Jenny Weston interceded quite deftly. “No one was sure if he was even aboard. If there’d been any doubt … “
“Both Tanya and I hoped to draw him out ourselves. “ I added, as contrite as I could. Honestly though, the soft almost beatific smiles from the involved parties made her outrage almost comical. “There was never any danger, but like Jenny said … “
Natalie snorted at this, but she was calmer now as the doctor joined us.
“Well, there’s no sign of any trauma. Apart from the expected inebriation, they appear healthy. “ he said. “I’ll fax the blood work and other tests to the main land to be sure, but otherwise your young ladies are safe. “
“Which is a good, I think. “ I groused. “Still, I’d feel much better if we actually had the guy in hand ... “
“Oh, we had him in hand. “ giggled Carla from the bed, wrapped comfortably in her terrycloth robe. A similarly clad Rochelle added brightly. “Like you said, Karen. Seize the day, or something. Our man in white. “
“White? Like Club Wear? “ This tugged at a vague memory of mine. “Or was it something else? “
“Like The Good Humor Man. “ Tanya suggested unhelpfully.
“Nothing good about it. “ our unaffected co-ed complained. “We’d thought to close out the club while Rochelle was dancing with as many boys as she could. Testing a theory, which I understand was your idea, Karen? “
“In a way. But I didn’t say all in one night. So where did our Man in White come from? “
“I didn’t get that good a look at him. He was tall, very handsome, his shirt and trousers neatly pressed, that smile … was dazzling … “
“Oh shit! “ I exclaimed, the mental cobwebs whisked away in a shock of clarity. “Was he inside the club? Or perhaps just outside the door … “
“He was near the entrance, chatting with Carla while Rochelle refreshed her drink. “ Natalie confirmed, eyeing us with some concern “I was on the verge of going over myself. Just to make sure my girls were all right, you understand. But I never felt anything was wrong. In fact, I was feeling pretty good. But I turned away for a second, and they were gone. “
“And you found them back in your cabin … when? “ I inquired softly, feeling a window of opportunity closing fast.
“I wandered the ship for a time. “ she answered while she, Jenny and Tanya, took my fidgeting to heart. “It must have been only an hour, and I decided to check in before calling security. They were both here, naked and … well obviously very pleased with themselves. “
“You got a thought, girl. “
“I got more than one thought. “ I affirmed Tanya’s suspicions, feeling several times the fool as to what I was going to do. “But while I go do a little hunting of my own, I need a big favor from you. “
“Anything. “ she answered, rather put out she wasn’t invited. “But are you sure you don’t want me … ? “
“Oh, of course I do! “ I gushed, interlacing my dainty fingers in hers. For all the years that she and Karen were friends … for the loyalty she showed this imposter who wore Karen’s body, trying to live her life. “I think, however, it would be safer if someone else was there. If I’m right. “
“So what can I do? “
“Call William. Have him meet me at the lounge. If I’m not there, well, he can start from the bridge and work his way along some of the service corridors? “
“You think it’s one of the crew … don’t you? “ she asked, slowly realizing what I was about. “I should contact the Captain? “
“And we’ll lose our man that much faster. “ I countered quickly. “Just get William, and give me time before you call in any reinforcements. “
I was on the move, letting go of Tanya even as Rochelle chirped cheerfully. “Good Luck! “
‘I might have other plans. If I can get someone to help arrange it. ‘
That damn self-satisfied son of a bitch, it had to be him. Still, I’d been too preoccupied with William to realize …
We paid little attention to the man behind the curtain, until he’d made his choice(s). I was still selfish enough to assume I’d been First on his hit list.
Still, if ever I was to find him, it would have to be on his terms. That was why I couldn’t trust any woman around him. Not even my best friend.
“Ms. Klein. “ the soft male voice caught me off guard as I ascended the central staircase. So subtle, but it was only James Weston. “I’m glad to see you, of course. I wanted to thank you. You and Ms. Landers have been spending so much time with my wife. It’s been good for her, I do believe. “
“Well, thank you. “ I answered honestly, if somewhat hurriedly. “It’s been fun for us as well. “
“Have you seen her? I was hoping we’d do lunch … “
“Uh, she’s helping Tanya with a project. “ I amended “I’ll let her know you’re looking for her? As soon as I take care of a small errand … “
Oh, did it have anything to do with Second Officer De la Croix? “ James suggested brightly. “I was just talking with him a few minutes ago, and he mentioned having an appointment with a charming young lady. I couldn’t consider anyone more charming … “
“And where was this? “ I couldn’t quite hide the immediacy in my voice which raised an eyebrow. Still he smiled quizzically.
“Just down that corridor? You and he are …how do young folk say it? … an item? Jenny had thought that Mr. Zachary … “
“Oh, No, it is William. “ I confirmed quickly, grasping his hand gratefully. “It’s just I need to confront … I mean, confirm something with our wayward officer. William knows .. Will know … could you just send him along when you see him? “
“Of course I can. “ Mr. Weston answered to my back, blissfully unaware of his role as Message Boy for my target. I was confident by now that Ramon wanted to be found by me. What would happen next? It was anyone’s guess.
If I’d thought he would make it this easy, I’d have said ‘Yes.’ to my beau’s earlier request. But it was evidently how the game, and I, was being played.
Something of my old indignations resurfaced as James directions took me further off the beaten track, along a passage that even the crew rarely used much. As Kolchak, I would have been slightly concerned, but as Karen …
It was somewhere beneath the pool, amidst a maze of conduits and rather heavy duty plumbing, that I reached a dead-end. I wondered if somehow Mr. Weston had been mistaken, until I felt the unmistakable masculine presence behind me.
“I didn’t think you’d let me down, Ramon … or whatever you are. “
“I’m whatever you’d like me to be, young lady. “ he chuckled, though the polish was thinner than I remembered. “Now who you are … that’s a far more interesting question. “
“A woman, a daughter, a reporter … and now someone’s lover. “ I shot back with practiced annoyance. “Is there something else I need to be? “
His tone was mocking, with none of the kindness that The Professor ever showed me. “What indeed? As much as I wear the shell of a mortal man … perhaps you’ve been less honest with your own façade? The daughter who lies to her parents, A reporter who falsifies her own existence, A lover who … “
Before De la Croix’s blunt challenge, all my uncertainties were laid bare. I wanted, I needed, and I couldn’t explain any of it to those who loved me … loved Karen most.
It was Carl who bluffed his way through her Life. I hadn’t even been able to accept William’s open reception to what had been an egocentric demand on my part. Who was I to call this man a liar … ?
It was the crux of my chaos that I thought of the void, that trap which Janus had hoped would destroy a meddling old man forever. “What if? “ I considered in a panic. “Carl is the Illusion? That I am Karen after all? “
If so. Perhaps a White Knight was in order after all?
“ … A lover who erred but owned up to it in a big way. “ William interjected, his arrival unnoticed by either of us, his soft angry voice cutting easily through the pretense. “A women who … no matter what she thinks she did, or didn’t do, proved her faithfulness afterwards, time and again. A friend who was ready to go it alone even as she had someone willing to stand beside her … “
Now he confronted Ramon. He’d obviously brought his Macho with him, which our unfathomable Lothario benignly contemplated, as well as the two of us.
“I do believe I owe you an apology … Ms. Klein. Perhaps this wasn’t simply an exercise in getting you laid. It’s too bad though. Romantics like our Mr. Zachary rarely keep girls such as you for long. “
“And what would you know about that?! “ snapped William, his fierce new role as Protector worrying me somewhat.
I stepped in quickly, firmly clutching his clenched fist. “William, don’t. “
“Oh, I’ve been in the game forever, boy. “ Ramon declared with a creditable boast. “Though not in this body, of course. Still, the women, and those who wish to be, they’ve scarcely changed in millennia unending.
"Lessons unheeded by Men, selfish needs confused with self-worth. I simply slip between the cracks ( and closed thighs ) to fill those empty spaces. “
“And what happens to all those women you satisfy? “ I countered weakly, slightly moist as his eyes focused on my crotch, brazen in his ability to arouse me. “Do they stay that way? Are they really happier for it? “
“My sweet naive woman. “ Ramon declared, reminding me faintly of The Professor.
Again, it was a lack of any solid humanity which set him apart from my dear friend. “It’s only sex. What baggage you bring into the bedroom is yours still when you leave. As I said ‘It’s simply an exercise in getting you laid. ‘ Everything after is incidental. “
“Incidental! “ William hissed, held in check only by my presence and his promise. “I think, Incidentally, that it’s past time you’re put out of business … for good! “
“Fortunately I’ve finished my business with this particular venue, though perhaps Ms. Klein might call on me … some time down the road? “ this now clearly inhuman being sneered, even as the cavalry arrived.
Tanya, the Captain and several of the crew, simply gaped in disbelief as tendrils of fog-like water vapors thickened about our man. He was becoming more insubstantial by the minute, translucence giving way to transparency, until the only thing remaining was a faint outline … and that damnable smile.
“As for my work … I still have a world of women needing my special attentions … “
And with that final Cheshire-like smirk, Ramon De la Croix vanished into whatever nether realm he’d come from.
“I’d often seen a cat without a grin … “ William quoted dryly before I hit him roughly on his arm.
July 27th
The final day aboard Amore del Mare II, a time to reflect. Tanya and I had finished our collective reports to her bosses. That final confrontation did undergo a rather colorful revision before they would accept any of it. But as much as Carl Kolchak had inured himself to ridicule, this gal wasn’t ready to cross that ocean again.
The girls were recovering, if utterly embarrassed by their aberrant threesome with their almost spectral seducer. Natalie had even unbent toward me enough to join several of us for breakfast, slyly nibbling a bit of blacken bread while Tanya tried to clarify things, for those who missed out.
“Ramon De la Croix was an officer in name only. We did find a real man listed with the company, but he’d been on leave for the past two weeks. Evidently the personnel manifest was either never updated, or altered by our stalker. “
“But wouldn’t our imposter have trouble blending in all the same? “ asked Mr. Weston with understandable incredulity. “I mean, at least some of the crew must’ve shipped out before with the true officer. Right? “
“You would think so. “ my girlfriend acknowledged, slipping a meaningful glance my way. “And yet somehow he hid in plain sight. His shifts were covered and yet no one specifically remembers Ramon doing them. They knew he was aboard, but few recall spending any real time with him. I can‘t explain it. “
“More things in Heaven or Earth … after all. “ I suggested, sharing a moment with William, thanking my own stars. I considered how close I’d come to missing this particular boat. “And we had no word as to where he came from or even how he got off the ship. But every cruise line and travel agency in the US and Canada is on alert. We can only hope … “
“ … That they catch him? “ Natalie cut in rudely. “I mean, it isn’t like he’s The Boogey Man or a refugee from some B-Grade Horror flick. Right? He’s Flesh n Blood. He’s got Fingerprints and a Willy. Yes? “
“It’s more like he’ll try to strike again, and someone will catch him. “ Jenny Weston intervened, though she gave me a long thoughtful stare while sipping juice. “And with Karen’s numerous contacts, she’ll find someone who can help. “
“Possibly. “ I smiled slightly as I thought of my bet with that specific someone. I was curious as how this all tied in with his particular stake. “Very helpful, I’m sure. “
So that was it, as far I was concerned. Another outrageous story unsuitable for the mainstream press, even stripped of it’s more supernatural aspects. Amore del Mare Cruises had seen to that, though it was otherwise very cooperative. Under conditions of absolute anonymity, naturally.
Tanya pushed as far as she could, but in the end it was her job to sooth ruffled feathers. It was only my word against the crew … and one other.
July 29th
New York City.
The end of the line was the end of my hosts benevolence, almost immediately as my feet hit dry land. It was handled with far greater tact than I was used to as the Westons threatened a lawsuit, along with the three co-eds. Propriety trumped any further subterfuge. Of course I had a few conditions of my own to add …
“I’m not sure how I feel about you saving my job, hon. “ came the muffled masculine voice through the thin door of the bath. While the rather modest room at the Ramada wasn’t technically free, Tanya had promised she’d cook the books a bit further to reimburse me. “I never did like that gig. Still, ‘Work is Work.’ I guess. “
It surely was. We finished our inspired frolics back in the Big Apple while Tanya met with Amore del Mare executives. All the better to try and explain exactly what had happened.
Without knowing how long the interrogation would take, we’d said our goodbye at the dock, exchanging contact information with our new friends. Amazing as they all had been, it was my old friend whom I held tight as she whispered in my ear.
“I wanted to thank you, Kay-Kay. “ she’d chuckled dryly. “Though it didn’t quite end as we hoped, it was much better with you beside me. Mostly … when you weren’t doing the mattress mambo with William or being such a whiny bitch. “
“I wouldn’t have missed any of this. “ I’d answered back, remembering that one little thing remaining between us. “But the next time you can make it to Cleveland, I’ll likely have quite a story myself to tell you. “
“Which might be awhile. Especially what with all the damage control still to do. “ she’d rejoined earnestly before disengaging. “But at least my ego and pension fund remains intact. You take care, Kay-Kay. Oh, and I hope this friend of yours can help ID our ghostly gigolo. “
“After The Professor stops laughing long enough. “ I’d thought sardonically even as I waved goodbye.
“I know, “ I teased my boyfriend, all squeaky clean and gift-wrapped in a towel. I was so ready to get dirty again, before we had to part in the morning. “Unfortunately I only have a limited budget. Otherwise … how would you feel about being a Kept Man? “
“Oddly comfortable with it. “ he mused, settling down beside me to absently tease my breasts through the sleek satin robe. “But at least you have me for today. After that … it should be interesting, whatever happens. “
And after that elegant understatement, we both discovered another shower was definitely in order.
Aug 5th
Oberlin College, Ohio.
Sometimes I hated being right, even as my collaborator in my new life grinned wickedly.
I’d met The Professor for breakfast at this small café on campus, which he insisted was not part of our bet. Still, as much as I appreciated our conversations, this dark enjoyment of my unresolved obligation was irritating.
“Karen, Karen, Karen. “ he finally said, playfully crinkling a copy of my notes in his hands. For all his polish, sometimes this fierce intellect displayed the subtle humor of a randy teenager. “Apart from the special pictures, you really did exceed all my expectations. You didn’t, by the way, take photos of your maiden voyage? So to speak. “
“And here I was. “ I sighed into my cappuccino. “Hoping you’d be the least bit sympathetic. I found Karen a love-life, reconnected her with an old friend … “
“You’re right, I apologize. “ tittered the mature man like a ribald school boy. “But I think you misunderstood this whole exercise. Your Mr. Zachary might do, in a pinch, as something more than a shipboard fling. It is, however, far easier to confuse Sex with Love, no matter how nice your toy boy might be … “
“Hey! “
“Again, I’m sorry. Despite the fact that you leapt into the sack, with all the sincerity of a wanton school girl, you did straighten up in the end … or was it William‘s Willy? “
If ever there was a doubt as to my gender, I did it proud with a lightning quick slap of that smug male face.
Perhaps Carl would’ve slugged him. Maybe another woman might have done more. But The Professor have given me a secure base to work from. For that I was forever grateful.
“Ok, I had that coming. “ the corrected scholar conceded cheerfully, impressed by my passion while rubbing the scarlet hand print of my displeasure. “Though what’s important is that you preserved what mattered most to you … Karen Klein. I think she’d be pleased … “
“Oh, I’m sure she would.“ I countered haughtily, annoyed by his frivolity. “In fact she told me so. Twice.“
I knew The Professor hadn’t gotten that far in my narrative, so the change in his once superior countenance felt like Payback.
Of course he only gave a little, the shock quickly changing to thoughtful speculation. Even so, he was intrigued by these phantom feelings I’d felt aboard Amore del Mare II.
“I can’t absolutely say this means what you think it does. “ He cautioned, though more as gentle counsel. There was something more …. A layer I couldn’t quite read. “Still, I trust your instincts about this. Your Woman’s Intuition? I believe you’re on the right track. “
“So, I just keep on as I have been? “ it never failed, this mix of relief followed by frustration. “What about our innocuous Incubus? Who is he? And how does he figure into all of this? “
“Given the vagaries in the descriptions, it’s clear I have a lot of research ahead. If you really need to know, that is. “ The Professor ventured rather obliquely, yet another test from this unlikely mentor.
“It’s really for Tanya. “ I admitted. “But it’s not like we have a time table. “
“Speaking of that. “ The Professor segued with a fresh twinkle in his eye. “Are you ready to admit defeat? In our little bet? “
“Oh, that. “ I temporized, coyly pretending I hadn’t been thinking about it all along. “I have a itsy-bitsy request though. I’d like to choose where we go? “
His eyes narrowed in congenial suspicion, sensing a trick but curious to see what I had in mind. “So long as it isn’t someplace Karl would have gone, nothing too masculine. And you have to dress up. “
“This is to help your eventual transubstantiation, after all … “ the man added, quite insincere.
“Trust me. “ I smiled sweetly.
Aug 7th
Akron, Ohio
I admit my motives were two-fold as we stood on the doorstep to my family home. The Professor kept flashing me sour looks, though I think inside he cheered my deception.
As an only child in both my incarnations, I hungered for all the love my new parents could give. Every moment spent with Gail … even as her daughter, it made up for all those missed years in that other form.
“You do clean up nice. “ He teased, taking my hand which I accepted without guilt. I’d put an extra effort in my makeup, even got my hair feathered at the salon for the occasion.
Mindful of Mom’s earlier critique I’d picked a nice azure satin blouse, a fitted matching dark blue skirt, slit discreetly from calf to lower thigh. I knew that my date appreciated it, and even trying to make him squirm, I felt cherished and protected.
As much as I cared for William, it wasn’t like I was planning to sleep with The Professor. Was it?
Almost as I thought this, that sense of bliss returned, still only the faintest suggestion of a presence. But it was definitely more pronounced, acting as a navigator or copilot. I couldn’t help but giggle at an old adage which made The Professor raise an eyebrow in curiosity.
“I’ll tell you later. “ I promised, feeling more confident in my choices. Daniel opened the door and I found myself engulfed in his firm embrace. All the while The Professor grinned wickedly, which I ignored, focused instead at my newfound warmth.
For whatever the Future threw at me, I had Karen’s blessings to see me through.
The End?
KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
NOT TO PRAISE BUT TO BURY HIM.
Oct 4th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio.
Karen Foster Klein’s Journal;
I had once told a good friend ‘The Weird just keep getting weirder. ‘
It was never more true than the events which involved the funeral of my former Ego, with an old acquaintance held hostage by the darkest specter ever. At least since a small skirmish Kolchak and company had taken part in. The Korean War.
Sept 20th 2005.
“This is Ms. Karen Foster Klein? “ inquired a rather prim woman’s voice as I answered my phone. I’d been caught up short by Karen’s … my agency, curious as to the structure of several articles I’d recently submitted.
Dorothy Weller had been editor for several years now, taken by surprise by certain creeping style changes. It wasn’t the conclusions, or the virtually acerbic edge, but rather some odd sports metaphors which popped up unexpectedly.
I was forced, therefore, to reconstruct the bulk of my work, taking many hours to imitate my host’s brand of journalistic purple prose.
While I’d hoped to do better in this role, Carl Kolchak was a hard man to kill, even while residing in the body of a lovely young reporter.
But this was my penance, to be the best woman I could be, after terrible circumstances drove her essence into an endless void. This old male could only try to live her life well, to revitalize that tiny spark until she was reborn from the resulting flame …
“This is She. “ I responded testily, only to receive a shock as the mystery caller announced. “Please hold for Jacob Emerson Kane. “
My old boss at Independent News Service, someone I hadn’t thought of since leaving Kolchak’s life behind. His somewhat cultured tone seemed amused by my perturbed silence. “Ms. Klein, are you there? “
“Yes … I mean, what’s this pertaining to? “
“You may know that I’m the editor in chief for INS … Out of Chicago? “ He answered, as dryly charming as always, taking my measure sight unseen. “I’m calling to inquire about one of my reporters? I understand that you were the last one to see him. “
“See Him? … Mr. Kane?“
“There’s no need to play coy with me, Ms. Klein. “ Jacob bluntly derailed my weak dodge. “It took me long enough to determine who exactly stole Carl Kolchak from his retirement party. You do remember that. Don‘t you?“
“Again, the reason for this call? “
I could picture Kane with his patented professional tenor, level and calm before an unknown. He must have realized who Karen was, his polite calculations careful not to underestimate her. Unfortunately, I failed to do the same.
“It’s really nothing. More a matter of Book Keeping than anything else. “ his reassuring voice was hardly that. “Carl vanished into thin air, shortly after he left our employ. His lease on his place was allowed to lapse, mail neither collected nor forwarded to a new address. While it’s still too early, I assume there will be additional interested parties, looking to settle accounts … “
“And I can see your problem. “ I chuckled lightly, imagining the legions of debt holders looking for satisfaction. Old Kolchak had definitely racked up a mountain of IOU’s in his long life.
I let Kane hang for a bit while lazily contemplating my finely tapered fingers, nails shining with a rose gloss finish. One hell of a disguise to avoid the collectors, legit or more nefarious … “But I don’t see it as my problem. Naturally I’d like to help … “
“I’m glad to hear that, Ms. Klein. “ the voice at the other end cut in cheerfully. “Of course any information, as to his whereabouts, would be helpful. There is another matter though. One which necessitates your presence? “
I felt real worry creep into my psyche for the first time since June. For Karen’s sake, I mustered a nonchalant tude with a bemused smile on my lips. “If you’re certain that necessary, Mr. Kane? “
“Just for the record, Ms. Klein. “ Jacob assured me once again. “It’s a nuisance, I know, for a busy woman such as yourself. It would aid us greatly toward resolving this little problem. So you’ll come? “
“I’ll be there then. “ I promised, seeing no way to back out now. “Will early the day after tomorrow be soon enough? “
“Looking forward to meeting you, Ms. Klein. “
Sept 22nd.
Chicago, Illinois.
The office of Jacob Emerson Kane was immaculate, stylishly classic. A mix of oak and maple furnishings, with photos of his trophy family strategically placed about his broad desk.
The well groomed forty eight year old was not a miserly banker of old, or ruthless editor from an Orson Welles film. Rather he was an efficient man … raised to the nth degree.
“I’m sorry to have dragged you in on such short notice, Ms. Klein. “ Jacob intoned with practiced sincerity as he rose to greet me.
With him were two city Detectives, as if from some Crime Show or one of it’s countless spin-offs. “Just as I am that the proper authorities want to be in on our discussion. “
Carl’s relationship with the police, of every rank, in countless cities and corresponding counties, had hardly been cordial. But the elder officer, a full figured yet fit policewoman, was very polite as she shook my hand.
“I’m Detective Lauren Draper, Ms. Klein. My Partner … “ her slight hand flourish indicated a much younger yet dour male. “ … is Detective Marcus Jones. “
“My pleasure? “ I ventured tentatively, more interested in the terse interplay between my interrogators than any implied wrongdoing on my part. “Though frankly I’m somewhat confused. Is there something here that a simple phone call couldn’t have cleared up just as easily? “
“Any Missing Persons report, however haphazardly submitted, is always taken quite seriously. “ the thin framed junior officer responded curtly. “And when we got wind of Mr. Kane’s private investigation … “
“We just need a more accurate time-line to work from. “ Detective Draper cut in, hushing her companion with a sideways glare.
“According to several witnesses, from June 14th to the 15th of this year, you were in the company of Mr. Kolchak. Not long after, He seemingly vanished off the face of the Earth. “
“That’s true. “ I confirmed, wondering at the odd thoroughness of both Jacob and the Chicago Police Department. Still, I was left to wonder … just what was missing from their reports.
“He was helping with a story I was running down at the time. At the conclusion of which we were separated. I never saw Carl Kolchak after that. “
“Are you sure that’s all, Ms. Klein? “ Detective Draper pressed, and the tone of her voice confirmed that something more was going on. “What was this story? Were there any aspects of it which specifically concerned Mr. Kolchak ? What was the last thing he said to you? “
What indeed? I wanted to laugh out loud at this, the only word to emerge from that terrible void was Karen‘s. ‘Remember.’
As if I could ever forget?
To be on the safe side, I gave her an even more sanitized version of Janus ReGen than I’d told to Gail. From the expectant expression in Jones startlingly blue eyes, he waited for me to stumble. Only when it came to explaining Carl’s ultimate disappearing act, was I at a loss.
“So far your account seems consistent with the facts thus far. “ Draper confirmed, even as I gave Jones a sweet smile. He appeared so determined to uncover some dark conspiracy, it was almost endearing.
“But I’m still unclear as to when, exactly, you lost touch with Carl? Didn’t it strike you as odd? This man whom you were in such close proximity to for two days, never tried to contact you again? “
“Well. “ Jacob stepped in quickly, much to my surprise. “In our business, we don’t necessarily keep up with our sources, however helpful they prove to be. And please remember that Kolchak had just retired when this came about. Ms. Klein has been forthright about her involvement with the man, so if you could cut her some slack? “
“We would love to. “ All in the room turned toward Jones who had the good sense to look slightly embarrassed. “I mean, an abandoned hidden room behind a false office front? Doesn’t it seem somewhat anticlimactic? “
“And yet Janus ReGen ceased to be, after that day. “ I suggested somewhat haughtily. “While I could scarcely call this a successful crusade, so far there’s been no reemergence of the site. “
“I think. “ Draper suggested somewhat conciliatory. “We’ll follow up on what Karen has given us. I’d like you to stay in town for a few days, if that’s possible? “
“I can arrange that from this end. “ Jacob remarked, giving me a sly look. “If that’s amenable to my colleague? “
‘If you’d asked me that earlier in the week … “ I sighed, debating whether or not to call Dorothy, before thinking better of it. She’d ask why I never mentioned any of this to her before. Why I didn’t consider it newsworthy enough, even in retrospect.
“Then it settled. “ the older woman responded warmly, taking my hand once more. “I do appreciate your cooperation in this matter, Ms. Klein. We’ll get in touch with you through Mr. Kane. “
“Wonderful. “ I murmured under my breath as the two cops left, turning on my sensible heels as the door swung shut. “OK, that was interesting. Now … MR. KANE … What did I just walk into? “
Jacob chuckled with dark humor at my no nonsense glare, clearly unfazed as his smug grin ticked me off.
“They shouldn’t have been involved quite like this. But apparently young Marcus is quite the career climber. Once he brought our inquiries to Lauren’s notice, well, that’s water under the bridge … “
“Or Over The Dam. Come on, Jacob … Give. “
It was good to see him blink, even if it seemed that he saw someone other than Karen. Jacob Emerson Kane was not the man to believe anything beyond the practical. Still, just for that split second …
“You’re right, of course. “ his admission was almost as shocking, but not as much as what he said next.
“It wasn’t simply that one of my more controversial reporters left town without a word. Not even the small wave of inquiries from the aforementioned agencies.
“Shortly after the 17th we received three Death notices through our service. Unremarkable under any other circumstance, except for the coincidence which linked them to our wayward employee. “
I remained skeptical even as my host rummaged through his desk drawers. This poster boy for Brooks Brothers chic acted like a school boy searching for homework.
Fumbling as Jacob did, it contrasted his square-jawed continence with a flash of vulnerability. Eventually though, Kane found a print-out which he silently passed to me.
“Now that is a coincidence. “ I quipped badly, feeling my world turn upside down as I scanned the obits …
George Stratford; Age 74.
Ever the practical joker when we served together.
Died when a seemingly minor rear-end collision resulted in the premature deployment of the drivers-side airbag.
Trapped by his seatbelt, George suffocated when the device failed to deflate.
Eugene Harris; Age 73.
Master tinker and scrounger of our squad.
Killed on a construction site when a piston misfired within a pneumatic jack, driving it into his chest with incredible force.
The witnesses stated that it was like hearing balloons popping, as both lungs were irreversibly compressed in an instant.
Abel Mason; Age 77.
Soldier, Poet, and Amateur Horticulturist. Always Full of Beans, as his comrades used to joke.
He and his grandson were laying new irrigation lines for the modest orchard he’d bought upon retirement.
While kneeling in a ditch to inspect a pipe connector, he was caught by an unexpected ground collapse.
By the time rescuers dug him out of the unusually compacted earth, it was as if Abel had inhaled several lbs of dirt, so coated were his lungs with the stuff.
All this would have fallen under random chance, save for a special connection unmentioned in their brief bios …
Not to belabor my unique position, but there was a moment of panic where my first thought was to call Home. My second impulse was to contact The Professor.
In all Honesty, neither option had anything to do with solving the problem …
Korea has long been called the Forgotten War, following as it did on the heels of The Good War, World War II. Almost a practice run, it would be greatly overshadowed by a later Military Action called Vietnam.
During such times, even the best of men might act with duplicity, not always on the battlefield itself …
“It wasn’t easy to track down all the members of Kolchak’s old company. “ Kane recalled cynically, reclining back in his black leather chair, eyeing me with that now familiar male appreciation. What would he have said? if I’d told him the object of his search, was currently this hot chick in a cream colored blouse and fitted slacks?
“I imagine most were Dead, or spread across several states. “ I rejoined mischievously.
In ironic contrast to his profession, Carl had been notoriously fickle in his correspondence. Apart from about eight guys, he’d lost touch with most of the rest. Of those eight, only half lived within the Chicago area …
“Something like that. “ his uncharacteristic lopsided grin touched off a tingle inside. It was a feeling I’d become annoyingly familiar with, more so in the last month or two.
“Look, I know this is somewhat out of your territory. It’s not harassing a manufacturer for a bad coffee maker, or some Carnie pushing cheap knock-offs … “
“Who have real weapons as often as writs. “ I chastised him, though perhaps not that long ago I’d have shared his sexist attitude. “I’ve received my fair share of death threats, so if you’re suggesting … “
“I suppose I was. “ he covered my hand with genteel restraint, just informal enough but not crossing into Inappropriate Touching. “Perhaps I was thinking you hadn’t exactly volunteered for this case. Maybe I am a little old fashioned. “
“Let’s just say that Kolchak made an impression, MR. KANE. “ my icy tone was not without some humor, albeit well hid. “I sorta owe him for his assistance, so I’m happy to help you out. “
“It’s settled then. “ Jacob agreed with a smile, all forgiven in his mind. “So why don’t I get you situated at the hotel and we can have a late lunch? My treat, of course. “
“First, I’d like copies of all the documents pertaining to this case. “ I amended with a neutral voice. “Then after you escort me to my room, I’d like some time to take in the city. On my own. As for Food … why don’t I meet you for dinner? There’s an Italian place across from the hotel. Say around 5:30? “
“As you wish, Ms. Klein. “ chuckled Kane. “Consider it a date. “
“Let’s consider it business, Mr. Kane. Make sure you hold on to all receipts, so there can be no misunderstandings. Especially if the proper authorities are involved … “
It was nice to find him more appreciative of what Karen was capable of. Later on, we would discover just how much one hand would wash the other …
Old Chicago; the scene of the crime, so to speak.
I was almost surprised to find the building, an unassuming mix of old masonry and modern glass facade, still intact.
Perhaps I’d thought it would have burned down, or simply fallen into ruin after the magic left. The false storefront was as I remembered, and the alleyway …
There was where Karen flirted so outrageously with the delivery men, allowing us eventual access into the temple. I thought we’d been so clever at the time …
“You consider me a flight risk, Detective Jones? “ I asked my tail as he walked up to stand beside me.
“Do you think you need to? Ms. Klein? “ he asked in obvious deadpan, and I looked to see a faint upturn to those thin lips. “No, I’m just here to satisfy my own curiosity. Shall we go in? “
“Why not? “ I agreed with a sudden wicked indulgence. “Of course this could be considered Breaking & Entering? You have a warrant? “
“It’s a vacant property, held by City Union Bank until a buyer can be found. “ the officer answered before holding up a set of keys. “I believe this constitutes Consent. “
Marcus Jones was an odd contradiction, clearly tenacious in his own beliefs, ambitious, it was true. But as we entered through the front door, his attentions were more on my reaction than the scene itself. One might have supposed he was looking for a Patsy to fit his theory. I wasn’t quite sure that was it.
Once inside, all my memories came out at once, along with the regret. But unlike before, there was something extra. It was a presence which revealed itself in flashes of emotions, equal yet greatly diminished before my own psyche.
As in this instance, the ghost within my mind fought to make itself heard, with dramatic results.
“You’re right. “ I quietly capitulated to the phantom sense of annoyance. “No time for a pity party. “
“What are you thinking, Ms. Klein? “ my escort asked politely, again with an absence of that prosecutorial manner.
“I’m thinking that for the present, you might as well call me Karen? This Ms. Klein crap is getting a bit tired.“
Even as Marcus nodded I was already on the move, my attentions drawn toward the far back wall.
Before, it had been a vague shimmer which had offset the structure from the rest of the building. That was gone, replaced by a fresh coat of satin white gloss.
“So much for a vacant property. Someone’s been busy here. “
Marcus ran a finger over the now solid barrier, as engaged as I was in the game. “This was done within the last few weeks. Perhaps City Union was performing some routine upkeep? “
“Perhaps. “ I couldn’t help but tease his straight-line logic. “If so, then would you mind explaining that? “
Maybe for some, deity or other, Omnipotence was not so in the middling details. Marcus hunkered down to examine this odd artifact.
If the olive bough had simply been lying on the floor, but no. It was stuck through the wall, about a quarter of the way up from the base, with only a unblemished surface surrounding the limb …
My companion made a phone call.
“The pair of you. “ Lauren Draper muttered in amazement, while a couple Forensics experts puttered about the proffered Olive Branch. “It’s almost like Carl Kolchak, back on the job. “
“You knew him? “ I asked, trying to remember her from all the people I’d honked off over four decades.
“After a fashion. “ she recalled with dry wit. “I’d been some three years out of the Academy, a beat cop stuck with desk duty for some minor infraction. At that time Kolchak was well past his prime but no wiser.
"There had been a series of unusual deaths in my precinct . All young Hispanic men, all drown, but none near an identifiable water source. One kid even died in his car. “
“So, some person or persons killed them elsewhere? “ Marcus interjected. “Then they moved the bodies? “
“One would have thought. “ she gently chastised her young partner. “Except for the lack of trauma on the corpses. No sign of violence, not even a blemish about the arms or legs. All were at a loss to explain it.
"All, save one rather belligerent reporter who burst into our Captain’s office, shouting about some Weeping Woman. “
I giggled unconsciously at the memory of one of my last paranormal cases, back in the early 90‘s.
She’d been a young Latina, fallen in with the wrong crowd. When the girl witnessed the murder of a small child by some of her posse, they bludgeoned her repeatedly to the point of Death.
Sophia Orlando, age seventeen, was weighted down then sunk in the East River. One small problem; she was still alive when they did it, though the gang never knew that until it was too late. For such a sweet girl in Life, she made for one Hell of a vengeful specter …
“So what happened? “ asked Marcus. “Was the case finally solved? “
“Kolchak thought he had. “ Lauren answered softly. “The investigating officers at the time found him with an unconscious local priest by the waterfront. They were surrounded by religious artifacts, their lungs partially filled with water.
"The medics managed to resuscitate both of them, but all they would say was the Exorcism was a success. “
“And yet, afterwards, there were no more homicides exactly like that. “ I amended without thinking. Detective Draper nodded.
“Though technically it’s still a Cold Case of sorts, you’re right. This one however … you boys almost done? “
“Just wrapping up ma’am. “ one of the specialists responded. “We took a clipping from the plant, as well as some paint and wood samples. Of course we’ll run through every test we can think of, but so far I can reach only one conclusion. “
“Yes? “
“You have a plant growing out of the wall, ma’am. “ he chuckled, then got serious as she was unimpressed. “Look at the surface. It’s relatively uniform, no sign of anything forced through it. This is an oddly solid wall, not the usual two tier construct.
“From some soundings, and this I can’t be sure of, there might be another area behind it. If I could strip off the paint and undercoat, perhaps we could determine if the lumber was improperly cured. That could explain … “
“Just let me know how the labs turn out before we do any more damage here. “ sighed the woman, frustrated and somewhat put out by her partner. “Take some gas readings as well? If someone is playing a joke, I’d like to know if it’s larceny … or something worst. If it’s more … I’ll have permission to tear this place up within a few hours. “
“Lauren … I’m sorry. “ Marcus began “Karen was here and seeing as I’d already gotten permission from City Union … “
“Water over the dam. “ the senior officer murmured before letting into him just a bit. “I do appreciate initiative from my partners, but next time you do need to let me know. I can’t cover your ass if things go wrong, otherwise. Truth? “
“Truth. “ he rejoined, properly rebuked. “Is there anything else I can do today? “
“Go talk to your buddies at City Union. Find out the last time work was done here? “ she requested easily, his small indiscretion already forgotten. “Then see if we can’t save the judge some time. Get them to sign off on additional investigation of this building. If they want someone on the premise, that’s fine.
"Oh, and get all the records you can on this property, OK? “
“Can do. “ Marcus responded, plainly happy to be back in her good graces.
“Now, Karen. “ she turned on me with an unfathomable look. “We invited you here to fill in the gaps, not to interfere with an ongoing investigation. Do you understand?
"For the present you’re simply aiding our inquiry. I don’t want to have to charge you with Obstruction … “
“Yes ma’am. “ I agreed contritely, deciding to leave this alone for the present. I did have other venues to explore, after all …
The matter settled for now, Lauren returned to the task at hand while I got back in my car. I decided to call on a still relatively new ally, but for the first time he wasn’t there for me.
Apparently The Professor was on some retreat, so I was forced to deal with his service. I left a message while contemplating this washout of a day.
It was too late to take care of other business, still too early for my rendezvous with Jacob, so I cruised past old haunts as I considered my options.
The Gods were manipulating me, clearly, and yet at least one avenue of communication had been slammed shut! If The Professor was in with them, perhaps he was leaving me hanging for a reason?
I decided to drop by my hotel room and freshen up some before dinner.
After my shower I dialed the local VA branch on impulse, giving them Kolchak’s dog-tag ID and other information. I explained it was for a genealogy, and that I would stop by tomorrow.
For this lady, the old soldier at the other end was quite accommodating.
I checked my messages, but nothing yet from The Professor. It was like I was some jilted girl waiting for her boyfriend to call.
“Ms, Klein. “ Jacob greeted me as I entered the restaurant, expecting a candle-lit dinner for two. It was to my pleasant surprise that he was with another woman, a petite young lady with scarlet hair and a burgundy cocktail dress. “This is Naomi, my wife. “
“No misunderstandings. “ I laughed, warmly taking her hand.
“Indeed. “ he answered agreeably, sharing a discreet moment with the little woman.
Perhaps there had been other such misunderstandings. Maybe it was my own expectations overturned. But whatever. The food turned out excellent as did the company, Naomi slightly brighter than I’d remembered from Carl’s few polite encounters.
“Did you have a pleasant tour of the city? “ she asked innocently, missing the incongruity, both in my mission and the company I kept.
“Very much so. I went over old territory that Kolchak and I had covered. “ I explained as matter of fact. “ And I ran into our police friends in Old Chicago. “
“Then it would seem your story has heightened their interest in this case. “ Jacob suggested stuffily through a mouthful of Linguini. “Beyond the mundane Missing Persons report, I mean. Well done. “
“I told them nothing which wouldn’t have been Public Knowledge anyway. “ I shot back harshly. “Besides, I think this distracts them from the more notorious aspects of this new case. If your own clumsy attempts to pump the cops hadn’t done that already … “
“My inquiries were nothing if not judicious. “ this self-important man insisted, thinking I knew nothing of his personality or his largely one-sided diplomacy.
For my part I let him, smiling blandly before glibly retorting . “Obviously. “
“So, I’m wondering. “ our third wheel mused, flashing me a speculative gaze. “Did Jacob suddenly get a sister? or a second wife? The way you two act, it has to be one or the other … “
Jacob seemed startled for just a second, as if an unwelcome fantasy popped into his ordered mind.
I, myself, smiled at her accidental insight, though if he’d actually figured out the cosmic joke …
“Very funny, ladies. “ a return to sanity in that measured rebuke, at least on his part.
Clearly he’d decided this was simply two women ganging up on the lone male. Clearly he wasn’t that amused. But perhaps this kept the secret. At least awhile longer.
On the other hand, I still needed his resources to get through this case.
“Ain’t it though? “
He ultimately decided to go along with us, Naomi ridiculously grateful to have pulled a fast one on her husband. I couldn’t help but wonder how often that happened in the Kane household.
Carl Kolchak had often been too distracted by his own ambitions to care. For Karen, such things were both her job and her passion. I found myself increasingly engaged despite some lingering bad habits.
In the lobby of the hotel, I surprised myself by taking her hand fondly, not quite sure what we shared in that moment. Still, Naomi took the gesture largely as I meant it, even if her stoic spouse didn’t get it.
“It was fun tonight, Karen. “
“It really was. “ I admitted, that ambiguous sense of sisterhood oddly satisfying. “But I’m afraid I really need my beauty sleep. I have a busy day tomorrow. “
“Is that so, Ms. Klein? “ So, it was back to that with Jacob as Naomi gave me a friendly shake of her head. “What kind of errands? “
“I’m just looking up some old friends … of Carl’s “ I amended with a coy smile, giving my new sister a wave before dismissively turning on the perplexed chauvinist. Naomi was right … it had been a fun night.
Sept 23rd.
The VA was bustling, even at nine in the morning, servicing as it did all branches, as well as all generations who fought in innumerable conflicts.
Post Combat Stress, missing limbs, or simply a disconnect with a country which never really understood what we left on the myriad battlefields. No matter the war, or military action, many of the features looked the same. They looked … Old.
“May I help you, young lady? “ requested the elder behind the desk, the voice on the line from last night. “You out of uniform? Or simply here for some information? “
“Not for many years now. “ I responded without too much thought, nearly forgetting my feminine guise, clad in a cool grey dress suit and starched white blouse.
Memories of my own reflected back from that soft brown intelligent gaze, trapped though it was beneath deep wrinkles.
“As for the latter … I called yesterday? Looking for information pertaining to one Carl Kolchak? “
“Ah, of course. “ he responded with great deliberation, both of the information and the pretty girl before him. “You’d be Miss. Klein then? Doing some kind of homework for school? “
“Again, not for many years now … but thank you. “ I giggled, as much for the old man as myself. There for the grace of the Gods, after all. “It’s personal. I’m reconstructing a family tree, of sorts … “
“I’ve seen Kolchak in here on rare occasion. “ he ventured with a burst of interest. “I didn’t think that he had any family left … “
“It’s a more obscure relationship actually. “ I temporized with a cute upturn of my pert lips. “So, were you able to … ? “
“We did. “ he confirmed amiably, reaching over to nab his phone with stubby fingers. “ Though there was a blank period of a month where we had to cross services. Still, it’s likely as complete as you’ll ever get it … “
“I’m sure it’ll be enough. “ I cooed a bit too cheerfully.
Maybe I felt some relief, having escaped my previous decrepitude. Perhaps it was just Karen shining through.
Whatever my reason for flirting so outrageously, he enjoyed the gesture as the faded soldier notified someone that I was there.
“Ms. Klein? “ she was young, smart in her Army duds. Those lean cheeks held an expression, oh so formal. “I’m Corporal Catherine Tyler. I have a release for you to sign. Authorizing transfer of these documents? “
This Woman’s Military had taken Kolchak by surprise, even with the creeping progress we’d made over the long haul.
Girls, for him at least, had always been those waiting at home, or tending the wounded in Hospital. But even accepting them in support or transport positions?
Still, this new breed of Amazon embodied a fierce femininity, and in spite of my Paleolithic past I couldn’t help but like this warrior woman.
“Thank you, Corporal. “ I gushed just a little as I affixed my awkward yet elegant scrawl to the receipt. “You seen action yet? “
I figured if a man had asked with such a patronizing tone … but this petite clearly buff girl only gave a quick tentative look before deciding I was sincere.
“I did … in Iraq. Got some shrapnel in me from an IED. It did enough damage to send me stateside for a bit. At least until I get my strength back. In the meanwhile, I serve time here. “
“Well, this sol … civilian appreciates your time, and your service. “ I soothed, accepting her hint of bitterness, along with the boxed paperwork. “This will help straighten out things. “
“I just hope you find what you’re after. “ she whispered somewhat reverently. “Some of those files have been gathering dust long enough. It’s good for everyone that they get aired out, from time to time. “
This was where it got sticky
I knew I was venturing into some weird territory here, investigating my own life. Digging through the piles of superfluous papers, I almost had to act as if I didn’t know what I already knew.
Eight men who’d survived the worst of the war, from early in 51 through to late 52. And somewhere in between all this, seven had lucked into duty which rescued us from several catastrophic campaigns.
We were part of an ad hoc crew, aiding some envoy from D.C.
It was largely menial jobs as gofers or chauffeurs, carting the representative around then UN Occupied Seoul.
I never knew the exact nature of his mission, and you’d be hard pressed to find it mentioned in any official reports. It lasted for just a week, and we were kept hopping until that final night …
My self-reflection was interrupted by an addendum, updated just within the last few months. Yet another coincidence in a rapidly growing construct, ever building toward an image I couldn’t yet see.
But while the endgame remained uncertain, this girl was not one to reject an unexpected gift out of hand.
I drove south, to a nursing home where the final piece to this puzzle lived.
He was still alive, though apparently not doing too well these days. He’d recently suffered a stroke which left him bedridden, on Oxygen, and barely able to speak.
Still, he had most of his mental faculties … and the full use of his left hand which was doing something naughty as I entered the room.
There he was, former Corporal Dillon Gilles, our missing man. The chief instigator to our crime, drink induced though it may have been. But in some countries, the desecration of a temple got you killed on the spot …
“Q … Tee. “ that drooping mouth somehow managed a creditable smirk, even as his slightly moist palm waved in greeting. ‘Who? “
“Uh … Mr. Gilles? I’m Karen Foster Klein? “ I forced a sexy smile, even as my brother displayed slight arousal before this cute chick. “I’m here on a matter of some importance. It’s about Carl Kolchak. “
“Right? “ he mumbled weakly from beneath the clear mask. Still, those lucid eyes undressed me which I found encouraging, if not more than a little creepy.
“Folks consider him to be MIA. “ I stressed, scooting a chair up next to his bed.
Gill Man; as we used to call him, took the news with unusual calm. I realized in that moment that Dillon had probably come to the same conclusion I did. Our past was catching up with us. “Only … “
“One? “ I blurted out, wondering how many of the seven had died from this unnatural suffocation. Gilles thought he was all alone now, and in principle he’d have been correct. “Right. “
“Mr. Gilles … “ I began again, not quite sure how to broach the question I wanted answered. “Back during your military days in Korea … you and your buddies, including Carl Kolchak, went off field for a temporary posting in Seoul. Do you recall that? “
“Not? “ the sly bastard, forever the patriot. With over fifty years gone by, what possible State Secrets were being violated here?
“Not your mission. “ I argued, idly toying with my done up collar. His stubborn gaze flitted down and across my concealed breasts. “It’s what happened afterwards. … “
“Cuse? “ Dillon was still defensive, but I had his attention. What was it Karen had said in our journal? That women had two invaluable assets in uncovering the truth? That was ridiculous, of course.
“You all had one final night to whoop it up. Before being shipped back into combat. Yes? “
“May? “
“May nothing. “ I was getting a little testy, but still that lecherous gaze followed my fingers as they undid a couple buttons. “The gang got this idea from Bronx Bobby. He was this scrawny I-Tie with a rep for knowing where the score was. Right? “
The old guy broke away to stare right into my eyes, looking for something behind these fluttering lashes. Of course I was happy to indulge him.
“Drugs, Booze, Broads. No matter where he was, he could sniff out a good time. Right? “
“Cept. “ his dour tone confirmed that mistake we’d made still hung heavy for him.
“Except this time he got the wrong address. “ I acknowledged sternly. “We thought we were headed for an alley where the Hooch was cheap and the girls were … “
“ … Cheaper. “ the damned sorry fool was smirking again, even as he gave me the once-over. “Kolchak? “
“We found ourselves outside some kind of Temple. We were chasing girls, but they were already chaste. Weren‘t they, Gill Man? Some kind of vestal virgins? “
Dillon clucked his tongue clumsily even as his eyes bobbed down toward my still covered cleavage. “May? “
“May. May. May. “ I taunted him. “Is that all you have for me?
"For the rest of us, it was just some sloppy grab-tail. Like dogs who chased cars, we wouldn’t have done any harm if we caught one. But you wanted more? “
Gilles got close-lipped real fast, the only noise from him was a shallow wheeze as he sucked air. Still, that level stare made clear what he wanted from me.
I’m not sure he truly believed, or that the old goat wouldn’t have pulled the same shit with Karen. But even if Dillon was looking to humiliate the war buddy within the babe, I needed what he had …
I opened up more of my blouse, giving him a better view at my goodies. Their deep blush was simply icing on the cake.
“You vanished when the old ladies, the house moms came out, waving their bamboo brooms. Even when we decided to retreat, we couldn’t very well leave you behind.
“Five minutes, man! I need to know where you went in those five minutes. “
“More? “ he was really determined to make me go through with it.
Still, even the dirty old man was impressed as I flashed my girls.
My bra was more modest than a bikini top, but perhaps being so long without, it satisfied Little Gille. Just as well as I shut down the show pretty quick. This wasn’t Burlesque, after all … “Now, Dillon! “
He chuckled hoarsely. His hand awkwardly grasped my proffered pen as I held the pad for him, his chicken scratch barely legible. But somehow he managed, and after many plodding minutes I had his testimony.
I leaned forward to take his trembling fingers in support, receiving a surprise as Dillon copped a serious feel through my still undone top. What he lacked in strength, the pervert more than made up for in intent, eliciting a gasp as he tweaked my nipple …
“What the hell is going on here? “
I gently removed his hand from inside my shirt, even as the duty nurse scowled darkly at us.
Well, at me specifically as Dillon affected an innocent look. Not too shabby for a man in his delicate condition, but he was ready to be the patient again.
The matronly guardian rudely pressed past me to check his elevated vitals, taking a second to notice my hard tips through the dainty fabric.
“You could’ve given this poor man a coronary, young lady! “ she chastised me, that stern look telling me I’d overstayed my welcome. “What were you thinking? “
“Just returning a favor, for a favor. “ I murmured self consciously, stumbling to my feet. “A Tit for a Tat, I suppose. “
“Well, take your Tit out of here before I call Security. “ she commanded with not a little venom. “I would suggest you put yourself back together. And don’t think of disrupting our routine like that again. “
This was wonderful, another blemish to Karen’s otherwise honest reputation. My track record thus far revealed a exhibitionist’s streak on top of my other enticing traits …
Even as I straighten out my slightly rumpled clothes, my psychic shadow appeared amused by this state of undress. I think I understood what she meant. Who really knew a person in all their facets? Perhaps my own limited experiences thus far weren’t missteps after all?
I imagined Karen to be grinning wickedly as I did up my collar button, and I followed suit.
The nurse frowned while Dillon gave me a friendly wink … the bastard. He was yet one more link to that other life, but only so long as Kolchak remained. That was the whole point of this exercise, wasn’t it?
It was painful, this shedding of old habits and even older acquaintances. Of course that didn’t mean I would allow yet another casualty from my own foolishness.
In the midst of such maudlin hindsight, there was a good omen, fleeting as it was. My savior in training had finally gotten my rather tersely worded message.
“Hey there, Mon femme. “ his teasing voice almost made everything better. The Professor was inquisitive yet somewhat hurried. “You sounded anxious on my machine? “
“Somewhat. “ I admitted huffily . “But there’s a bit of unpleasant housekeeping which this damsel finds distressing. It doesn’t help that you go running off on some scholastic shindig without letting me know … “
“And when did we get hitched? “ he laughed, the merry ridicule there as always.
“You’re a big girl … thank the Gods. So I don’t think I need to hold your hand, 24/7. Let’s just say that my little sabbatical is more than Naked Nymphs Dancing Beneath Diana’s Light … “
“OK. OK. “ I couldn’t stay pissed at him, no matter the circumstances. “I guess the Honeymoon is over. “
“Without the fun parts. “ The Professor amended gently, a suggestion of concern behind the largely sardonic tone. “But we’ll negotiate that when you get back. In the meantime, what can a humble acolyte of the old faith do for his sexy muse? “
“We’ll talk about that later. “ my chastisement was undercut by the tremendous relief I felt inside. My companion spirit also seemed to share my confused delight as I explained everything to The Professor.
To his credit he listened without comment … at least until I sighed deeply at the end.
“Have you ever read Kipling? “ that was a rather weird thing to say.
“What? You mean the writer? The Jungle Book? That Kipling? “ I blurted out.
“Yep. “ his damnable self-satisfied tone returned, which annoyed me to no end.
“There’s another story of his. The Mark of The Beast. You’d find it very interesting. Of course, what with the cops searching for Carl, and this Korean curse, the Timing couldn’t be worse for a bedtime story … “
“Sure, I agree. “ I was ready to reach through the phone and strangle the man. “But what are we gonna do about this? “
“I’m not familiar enough with this mythos to advise. “ he confessed. “I do know some folks I could ask, but it’ll take some time … “
“Oh sure. I’ll knit a sweater while you talk with your friends. “ I snapped, wondering again just who this man really was. “Maybe I could just hold my breath while I wait?
"It’s not as spectacular as an airbag malfunction, or being trapped in a dirt collapse while digging a trench outside your home. Definitely not as grisly as having your chest caved in by a pneumatic jack but hey … “
“I‘ll put a rush on it then. “ The Professor assured me, a voice in the background speaking to him in low feminine tones.
“Look, Karen. Keep your phone handy. I promise I’ll do the best I can with this. In the meantime I have an idea that you’re not in immediate danger. Don’t ask how I know, it’s just a hunch. “
And what about Gilles? “
“No guarantees, kiddo. “ he responded quickly, pausing for a second to exchange a few choice words with this unseen female. “Just stay cool and keep your head down. I Love You, and I’ll talk to you soon. “
Now that was something unexpected, as was the thrill I felt when he said it.
It wasn’t like anything I had with William, the few times we got together since July. Perhaps he’d been Mr. Right Then after all?
There’d been a tremendous gulf in our experiences and education, which Lust alone couldn’t erase. But what of my scholarly mentor?
He got under my skin with little to no effort, challenged my assumptions at every turn, undermined my feminine sensibilities even as he celebrated them with me.
Any girl would feel some gratitude, perhaps even give him a roll in the hay, just to say Thanks.
But while now wasn’t exactly the right time; to determine the nature of our friendship, it eased much of my worries to think of him in my corner.
In the meanwhile, I had Dillon’s account of that night to go over; find out exactly where all this vengeance was coming from. But still there was a question which I wasn’t sure could be answered. Why now?
There were a few messages for me at the hotel; it never rained but it poured, one from Jacob and one from Naomi. They both wanted to know what I was up to, though for the petite Mrs. Kane, she hoped to do Lunch with me.
What was on Jacob’s mind? I couldn’t begin to guess …
It was actually with some regret that I skipped out on both, though I did offer a girls night for the latter as consolation. With everything else, and despite The Professor’s rather oblique reassurances, I felt Time closing in all the same.
So it was that I stripped down to my beige Teddy, put on my robe and ordered some room service, then got to work.
As I said before, it was weird territory. I was the observer rather than participant now, even as Kolchak recalled the humid sub-tropic night, the narrow backstreet flanked by shanty style houses of ply wood and thatch, the incongruity of a polished stone temple …
The coarse pigeon scratch account of Dillon’s shame is scarcely Grand Narration, so I substitute my own words to tell his story. That being said, some of the conclusions were pure conjecture on my part.
*
Corporal Gilles glanced over his shoulder at the mob scene behind him.
Those tiny women who circled his buddies like squawking crows, blocking the Joes from their charges, most of whom had retreated to just outside the temple doorway.
Each girl had her particular charms, he was sure, but Dillon was on his own scout, searching the antechamber while stern bronze statuary watched him. He was about to give up, cursing Bronx Bobby every way from Sunday. He’d trusted that Garlic Eater and paid him good money for this address.
As the GI turned, a soft footfall caught his ear and he smiled …
How’d Gilles manage to do what none of the rest of us could?
Several chance encounters in a crowded market place, that good girls’ shaded smile at the man in uniform, his own awkward attempt to engage. Short whispered conversations afterwards, before her escort found them out. But as was said, Bobby had worked with far less …
As sketchy as the details were, we could guess that Chu Li was already eager to flee her fate before she’d seen Dillon. Removed from her family as a child, raised to be honored but never loved, this wasn’t the life she ultimately wanted for herself.
This handsome soldier, this American, could rescue her from servitude to The Gods.
Was Dillon that pure? Her knight protector? The restored romantic in me wished it was true, though Kolchak sorta suspected he just wanted some tail. Still, in his own way, Dillon was honorable …
Just five minutes to do the deed, their wild passion set against the base of a virgin goddess. He’d promised he’d come for her, take her back to the States with him. She clung tight in the afterglow, believing everything this soldier told her, but Fate was not to be that kind to either of them …
We were shipped back into the field almost immediately after that night, but Dillon swore that he tried to find her later on.
He discovered, much too late, that Chu had been exiled from the Order, for what offense they wouldn’t say.
He wasn’t able to search the whole city; not for a girl banished to the streets, but it was in the back of his mind to return as soon as things settled down.
As you could guess, once back home he was distracted by the process of readjusting to civilian life. Though he claimed that Chu was never far from his thoughts, I think that Dillon turned to a local girl with some relief, deciding the one time infatuation was simply that … One Time.
*
September 24th, 2005
Just five minutes, you may ask?
It took far less time to destroy a Japanese city, or to kill a US President.
But this wasn’t the A-Bomb or some Lone Gunman. The aftermath for a single indiscretion was decades in coming, with no reason that I could discern at this time.
Once again, even with Dillon’s testimony, it couldn’t answer the over-all question, ‘Why Now? ‘
Early in the morning I called up the VA center and Corporal Tyler answered, rather surprised to hear from me again. At my odd inquiry, she found the number for the Korean Cultural Center, not that convinced I could do much with only a name. But as with Bronx Bobby, I’d often had even less to work with than he.
It was not made any easier, though they were quite accommodating, that at first the clerk thought I was talking about a child. Eventually though, I was able to make clear this was for an interested third party.
I gave the name of Chu Li, the district where the temple resided, wondering if this wasn’t yet another blind alley.
It was almost an afterthought that I called The Professor only to get his service once again. It was getting annoying, this eccentric merry-go-round of a sponsorship with my odd Academic.
For one still struggling with the nuances of this gender-bent reincarnation, I needed all the help I could get.
With one door shut, almost as quickly as it’d reopened, I revisited an earlier impulse and phoned Home.
“Karen? “ the instant I heard Gail’s calm voice at the other end, I felt girlish relief, along with all the regrets of an old mans life; tragically misspent. There was a spilt second which followed where I almost hung up on her … almost. “Hey, Mom. “
“Honey? You OK, Darling Daughter? “
“Uh, I’m in Chicago. “ I told her, letting slip a weary tone which Mother, good parent that she was, caught immediately. “Evidently there was some fall-out from June, so I got called back to aid in an inquiry from Kolchak’s old boss. “
“Just that? “ she asked with such penetrating skepticism it actually made me smile.
“Well, The Chicago Police have some questions too. It’s a bit of a mess right now. “ I added sheepishly. “Honestly though, it’s no big deal, mom. It’s just a matter of Book Keeping. “
“Which was what Hannah Speckler, a friend of Carl and Mine from Vegas, once said. “ Gail chided with an anxious turn to her once level voice. “Before her Bookie tried to break her legs. “
“Well, she shouldn’t have placed that long-shot bet on “Opal’s Hat Trick. ‘ I murmured carelessly, without any real consideration to what I was saying. “Not with Lenny Sharp, in any case. “
“What? “ Her gasp woke me up like a violent slap to the face. “Did Carl tell you … ? That wasn’t one of our better moments, hon. It’s definitely not something which either of us would’ve spread around. “
“Well, maybe it just came out in passing. “ I temporized quickly, seeing what of my scattered wits I could gather together. “Carl was pretty old, so … “
“I can’t ever imagine him being that old. “ chastised Mom roughly, thinking better of it as she added. “But even so, you’re not that good, young lady. Not yet, anyway. It took me months of considerable coaxing to get at even mundane tidbits of his past. “
“Well, it’s water over the dam, in any case. “ I answered with forced nonchalance, thinking that it’d be easier to just tell the truth. But better for who?
“Honestly, Mom. I’m sorry I called. No, strike that, Not Sorry. I just needed someone to vent at and … “
“You don’t ever have to apologize for that, Daughter of Mine. “ she proclaimed confidently. “You know you can tell me everything. Do you need anything? Your father and I could be there in a flash if you need us … “
“I love you, Ga - Mom. “ the purity of her support never failed to bring me near to tears, but this matter was for Kolchak and I to solve. “Just you saying that is enough. It’ll be fine. Let me go take care of this, and I’ll come see you guys once it’s over, OK? “
“I know you’ll be fine, darling girl. “ she gushed with such certainty, I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her. “You always were. Love from the both of us. “
I signed off with a dizzy sorta relief, reflecting on how similar this feeling was to another conversation. The one with The Professor?
Almost as if on cue, my phone rang and I rushed to answer, expecting his mischievous voice on the other end.
But the thrill I felt turned instantly to trepidation when Detective Jones came on the line, requesting my presence down at the station.
“We’re still having some difficulties with the story you gave us, Karen. “ Marcus told me, after plying me with coffee. He sounded contrite as he said it. “It comes down to where you and Kolchak lost each other? That covers a span of what? Minutes? “
“A lot can happen in that amount of time. “ I softly challenged him, interested in the conflict behind that interrogators gaze. “You know that as well as I do, Marcus. “
“I’d like to believe you’ve been truthful about everything. “ the young officer tried again, fumbling for a strict voice toward this rather bemused reporter. “Why are you smiling? This is a serious interview. “
“And you’re doing a great job … really. “ I chuckled, feeling unexpectedly kind toward him. “But I have two questions before we continue. ‘Where’s Lauren? Detective Draper, I mean. And, at any point in this, am I a suspect? ‘ “
Now Marcus grinned wickedly, nodding with much aplomb as he sat down heavily in the chair opposite me. That appreciative look I saw at the shop was back, and we both smirked like goofball children.
“It’d make everything easier if you were. “ he confessed. “But your reputation precedes you, and there’s nothing to suggest a prior connection between you and Kolchak.
“No, I think it’s partly that we’re in the process of tearing down that mystery wall, literally, and mostly just to touch base with you again. “
“That’s sweet, Marcus. “ I responded with a straight face. “But Detective Draper believes? Is that where she is? Doing a little redecorating? “
“It might be that she does. “ he explained. “Well, that and the hint of methane our forensics crew found at the scene. Lauren is a woman of her word, after all. Did you want to be there when we break through? I could take you .. “
“Why not? “ I gushed, imagining that while the other issue wouldn’t wait for long, it’d still take time for anyone to get back to me. “If you’ll let me do the driving. “
Our arrival at the rather hectic scene was noted by the senior detective with a familiar shake of her head.
Kolchak had been there far too many time before, not to recognize That Look. Still, she merely nodded to the pair of us as the destruction team gingerly worked to take down my wall.
“There’s definitely something dead back there. “ Lauren explained, almost shouting to be heard above the din. Where Karen and I … Strike that. Where I’d simply walked through before, the CSI guys now attacked the barrier with small jackhammers and handsaws.
I nearly grinned at this incongruity, but decided against it.
“A trapped animal? “ Marcus speculated, glancing over at my casual demeanor.
“One would hope so. “ his superior countered dryly just before a high pitched whine from the equipment signaled Breakthrough.
With slow deliberation, the crew took their time in cutting the right sized hole for access, as not to destroy any evidence they might find. But what was eventually revealed to the light of day … well … there wasn’t a lot left to damage.
“Kolchak? “ I whispered, oddly reverent toward this rotting body, though with the amount of decay, it was hard to tell who I was looking at. The only recognizable object was a familiar battered hat, and I realized who exactly was behind this morbid gag …
“We’ll have the pathology report within a day. “ Detective Draper assured me, after several hours of intense questioning back at the precinct house.
The temple had been in shambles, as part of the game, I was sure, the wall to wall monitors wearing shattered faces. The once ornate hangings had lost their shimmer, only torn rags remained to greet our unwelcome intrusion.
“I’m as much in the dark as you. “ I responded honestly.
I was thinking that perhaps The Gods were far from subtle with their misdirection. It almost smacked of a conspiracy which didn’t help my case.
“If this is Carl, we have what? A Sealed Room Mystery? “
“Well. “ Lauren considered. “I’m no Patricia Cromwell, but since you and Kolchak entered at some point, it could scarcely be a ‘Locked Room.’ mystery, now could it? At least this is what you said, yes? “
“Let’s just say that access was somewhat oblique. “ I chuckled with grave humor. “But technically, you’re correct. So where does this leave us? “
“It means that we want to be sure this is Kolchak. “ she responded carefully. “We want to see if there’s other DNA evidence, fibers, etc. But in the meantime, Karen … “
“Don’t leave town. “ I finished, not that concerned … yet. “On that account, I think I can guarantee I’ll be around. “
I’d been feeling somewhat like a yo-yo at this point, getting pulled back repeatedly every time I felt free from the old man.
Evidently my inner sibling felt the same as she slyly reminded me of something Kolchak had said
“Karen, we are One Foolish Girl, for sure. “ I chortled to myself. “We just keep stepping in it, don’t we? “
On that we were in agreement as I unlocked our room, flopping at once on the bed with weary resignation. But with the way the day had been going thus far, a repetitious buzz interrupted my halfhearted attempt at rest.
Unlike before, the caller was actually someone I wanted to see …
“I’m so glad you suggested this, Karen. “ gushed Naomi as we shared cocktails in the early evening. “Especially since Jacob has been going on a tear about Kolchak’s disappearance. It’s not like him. “
“Don’t I know it. “ I amended lightly before, as with Gail, I found the petite woman gazing at me with some incredulity. “I mean, from what I’ve seen of him … “
“I’m sure. “ she chuckled, though still a little thrown by my flippant remark. “In any case, the police called him this afternoon. They wanted to know your whereabouts for the day … “
“I’m sure. “ I echoed back as my girlish guffaw interrupted some of our fellow drunks. “It’s nice to feel wanted by so many. “
“Are you? Wanted, I mean. “ Naomi asked, taken with this rather sardonic response to a criminal investigation.
I was truly touched by the concern, patting her hand with maternal sympathy. “Not really, though I’m not sure how long that’s gonna last. Once Lauren ID’s the corpse … “
“There’s a body now? “ she squeaked, loud enough to turn every head in the place.
I waved my hand dismissively before giving her the hairy eyeball. She caught it quick enough, much calmer now as Naomi concluded. “That explains a lot, thanks. “
I wasn’t sure it would. Explain anything, that is.
The Gods forgery, for it to work, had to reflect Cause & Affect to serve as a suitable facsimile. Anything less left too much hanging, and perhaps me hanging out to dry. In the meanwhile, from what my girlfriend was saying, I couldn’t be sure just where Jacob fit in all of this.
It was just past the witching hour when Naomi escorted me back to the hotel, giving me a discrete peck on the cheek. “Well, a girls night out with you is never boring. “
“I guess I should’ve warned you about that. “ I laughed, ever consoling toward the collateral damage to the psyche of anyone in my vicinity. At least, in this case, she would live to tell the tale; unlike some others. “But thank you for the company, all the same. “
“We’ll do it again soon. “ she countered with clear irony. Apparently some of Kolchak’s old traits were rubbing off on her. Perhaps Karens as well, as my sister in spirit reminded me.
For someone once barely there, a scant few months ago, she’d been getting quite vocal lately.
In such current murky circumstances, this fact was actually the best news I’d gotten in quite awhile. OK, second best.
September 25th, 2005
Early morning I got a call from Marcus, but it was just to tell me that nothing definitive had come from the autopsy thus far.
While the jury was out, he offered breakfast which I politely declined. Yet another notch for Karen’s lipstick case, but it was too much on one plate for this girl. Besides, there was The Professor to consider.
He still hadn’t gotten back to me, likely distracted by that tramp I’d heard on the line and … was this jealousy I was feeling?
For some reason I couldn’t yet fathom, it fascinated me, as an emotion I’d never really felt before. This whole Chick Feelings thing, it never got old.
But I couldn’t wait for him, in any case, nimbly redialing the Center to see what, if any information they might have. Not too surprisingly, rather than a nibble, I’d gotten a big honkin bite!
“I talked to a relation. “ the clerk explained with some disbelief evident. “She had a Gran who knew someone important from The Order. Evidently they kept very good records. Back a hundred years or more, in fact. I think we may have found your Chu Li … “
‘Evident’ was an understatement, so far as coincidence and circumstance was concerned. Someone upstairs must have been working overtime. But I had no way to discover exactly how the strings were pulled, only that for once they seemed to be in my favor.
This girl; for the present, was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I hadn’t gotten word from either the detectives or my sponsor, but I was too busy to make comment on this. I asked one more favor from the beleaguered girl before hanging up.
Now I had an additional task to perform, and it was the most dangerous thus far; putting two lives at risk on a slim hunch.
It was nearly eleven that night when I burst into the room of Dillon Gilles, ignoring the protests of the nurse on duty as he gave me the once over with half alert eyes.
“Congratulations, old buddy. “ I enthused. “I may have found your Out. “
“Really, ma’am. “ huffed my old adversary through clenched teeth. She became even more confused as my backup finally caught up with me. He was a young Korean monk whose serene disposition offset my more fatalistic manner.
“You’ve disturbed this patient enough with your wicked behavior. I need to ask you to leave before … excuse me? What is that man doing? Is that incense? “
He’d lit several Thai Sticks on either side of Gilles head, pausing briefly to check the aura before turning to me. “You were right, miss. He is in need of a priest. “
“A priest? “ echoed the nurse flatly, clearly out of her element as I took Dillons hand in support.
“I don’t understand. Is this some kind of ‘Last Rites? ‘ “
“It might well be. “ I answered with Kolchak’s usual brand of ‘Gallows Humor.’ “If we don’t appease what’s coming down that Hall. “
She scarcely made ready with the obvious question before it became self explanatory, low burning smoky embers wafting wildly in the presence of the Thing.
It was a shadow of a shadow, faintly feminine in outline, not unlike a phantom from one of those Asian import films.
It/She had a set of blazing coals for eyes, glaring with corrosive intent at Dillon Gilles.
My monk, at this time, began a chant which distracted this ghastly assassin long enough so I could make myself heard.
“Who .. Or what you are. This is the man you’ve been seeking - Can she understand me? “ I demanded of the priest, about halfway through my speech.
He spoke some words in Korean before nodding that I should continue.
“His name is Dillon Gilles, lover of Chu Li. It was his fault that she turned from your worship, but not that she died. “
My bedridden comrade in arm gave a start at this news, and I could only hope he had the good sense to keep quiet. I saw that I had the specters full attention …at least for the moment.
“She died delivering his child, a girl. She caught an infection which filled her lungs with fluid, suffocating her before the antibiotics could do their job. But you knew that. “
It was the end result of the deaths which clued me in, though not the full reason behind them. And here was the chief perpetrator, his good health dependent upon a single Oxygen tank … with an ignition source thoughtfully set up nearby …
“But perhaps there was something you didn’t know? “ I challenged her, this demonic avenger. “The child still lives. She’s here in this country, in San Francisco. Gilles is her Father. Would you kill off her only parent? “
The creature seemed less impressed by my petition than the sheer audacity of a mortal defying her. I figured that now was the moment to play my remaining card …
“And you’ve killed all the others, yes? All six? “
Now I was working with a multitude of possibilities, from what my hastily recruited companion could tell me.
So many deities to choose from, only a few hours to decide who I‘d be dealing with. But even narrowing it down to a handful … well … none of them could be relied upon entirely …
But perhaps I understood something which this she-bitch took for granted.
“This whole vendetta, it was set off by some recent change, a paradox which opened a door otherwise closed to you. That’s why you needed to establish a line, isn’t it? It was our common bond, wasn’t it? both in combat and that night in Seoul.
"Still, you needed all of us to die before you could reach Dillon. “
The vague suggestion of a demonic smile was all the confirmation I needed.
With a self satisfied smirk of my own, I set the trap. “Kolchak was the last, the police having just now found his remains, walled up inside an airtight room? Likely he suffocated, just like your victims before him? “
Again she seemed content with my conclusion, that terrible resolve deepening as a sputter from a clogged line let me know she was through listening. With little time left; I pulled the pin.
“But Kolchak isn’t dead, you see. “ I intoned solemnly, watching carefully for the blink even as I continued. “We have a body, but not its soul. “
Gilles air hose cleared temporarily, and yet I knew I had to make the point quickly. If any of us were to survive her wrath, that is.
“That’s because it wasn’t with him when he passed on. Where could it have gone, I wonder? “
The dark enveloped me, if only to peer through my eyes at what resided within.
I smiled grimly as I knew where the paradox lay.
“That’s right! He’s inside this woman’s body, and she’s an innocent, outside your jurisdiction. She had no part in this, so would you overturn all providence for your pound of flesh? “
Even in her unanticipated impotency, the demon still pressed against this invisible force field which surrounded Karen Klein. But while even a small part of her shared this mortal shell with me, we were in no direct danger.
As a casualty of some collateral damage, however, I wasn’t that sure …
My monk began the exorcism rite, bit by bit calling our adversary back to what parallel dimension she’d erupted from.
The atmosphere around us thickened; though we felt the end was nigh, conjured as a last hurrah, that final display of defiance before the bellowing vapors retreated into nothingness.
We could all breath easier as the regulator resumed normal function, Gilles grip squeezing my fingers with renewed strength and a sincere thanks.
I smiled even as I blew out the Thai Sticks, my co-patriot already gathering up his things before a subdued whimper alerted us to the third witness. The duty nurse, struck mute in the face of the Fantastic.
“Sorry for disrupting your routine, ma’am. “ I quipped, patting the monk on his shoulder before giving a cheery wave to my old war buddy.
The tell-tale thud behind me prompted an even wider grin as, too late, other staff arrived to see just what the hell was going on.
“I think your nurse just fainted. “ I suggested, not waiting for a reaction as we headed for the elevators …
October 4th, 2005
Oberlin College, Ohio.
Pulling into the parking lot, just outside The Professors on campus crib, I mull over the continuous surprising circumstance which is Karens … Strike that … my life.
It was, thinking back now, nothing short of divine intervention which got me out of Chicago; with my lush skin more than less intact. But that’s not to say there wasn’t help from a more human source …
Sept 26th, 2005
Chicago, Illinois
Lauren Draper, veteran detective with the Chicago PD, must have seriously considered retirement as I was escorted into the interview room, her annoyance compounded by the presence of Kane and a couple lawyers.
“Ms. Klein. “ she admitted heavily with a defeated sigh. “Remember what I said about Kolchak? Forget that. This is much worse. “
That stopped a smug upturn of my glossy lips, as Jacob interrupted with a cautioning Humph. This wasn’t necessarily as comforting as it should’ve been, but it did for the present as Lauren nodded slowly.
“However, the Forensics bear out that his death appears to be accidental. That while we still have a chunk of time unaccounted for, he had passed long after you’d returned to Ohio. However … “
She cast a questing glance at Kolchak’s boss who nodded with curt acquiescence, even as Marcus came into the room with several coffees, one which he handed to me. “We still have several hundred questions to ask you, young lady. “
“So, I was a suspect after all? “
It turned out that was an overstatement, only her tenacity keeping me at the top of a long list in the first place. But Lauren was clearly dedicated in following procedure, which turned out more information for my benefit than she might’ve liked.
In our rather lengthy discussion, punctuated by frequent pauses as Jacobs help stepped in, I discovered the incongruities to be largely insubstantial to a fault … my fault.
Transubstantiation was rift with error, and it showed in the DNA, a rarified sample strangely absent the normal irregularities. But for the fact it came from an actual body, it practically screamed ‘Set Up. ‘
There was also the lack of certain striations; indicative of struggle of any kind.
Perhaps they considered Kolchak of an age that his body simply gave up the ghost, but I knew that Lauren seemed dubious as to that option.
In terms of time, one wondered if Kolchak had left the temple, only to come back later. That didn’t quite wash as he would’ve been seen, by somebody … anybody. He wasn’t.
If he’d been sealed in deliberately, again, there would’ve been some sign of abuse. If by accident … well, that ran into an area which Detective Draper wasn’t about to discuss.
I could only sympathize, after my first initiation into the realm of the impossible …
Finally, after what seemed hours of round robin discussion, the cops ultimately decided it was better to just consider me as ‘No Longer A Person of Interest. ‘ and I was free to go.
Jacob smirked somewhat as I absently whistled a familiar tune, almost under my breath. “I do have one or two questions of my own to ask. “
“And do I need the presence of your counsel for this, Mr. Kane? “ I joked, to which he nodded and the sharks departed. “Just a few points, if you please. Miss. Klein. “ he amended politely.
“And why did you intervene with the interrogation, Mr. Kane? “ I gently demanded, getting a slightly raised brow in response.
“Partly because, as much of a millstone as Carl could be, he ultimately did more Good than Harm for this employer. “ Jacob stated with an oddly affectionate humor.
It was something I’d never seen from him when I … when Kolchak was alive.
“I figured if I could help a damsel in need, particularly one he seemed fond of, it would pay back part of that service. Also, as from someone you impressed greatly, Naomi insisted I step in. “
I was thinking I should thank the little woman properly when he about-faced just outside the precinct house. “You, however, can reward my chivalry by answering those two questions? If you’d be so kind. “
“The least I can do. “ I offered generously, though Karen suddenly suggested rather cattily. ‘The Very Least. ‘
“First of all, you were much closer to Kolchak than I originally suspected. Not as a fellow journalist, and I have a hard time imagining you two as Lovers.
“Secondly, I heard something on the fly, which I’m surprised that the police didn’t make use of. You disrupted a nursing home where, not too coincidentally, another member of Carl’s squad resided? “
“That was just some house keeping. “ I answered brightly. “ ‘Tit for Tat.’ as it were. Dillon Gilles was helping me fill in some gaps, and I was helping him find something in return … “
‘Which was? “
“An old girlfriend. “ I chuckled, realizing that that Lauren wouldn’t have brought it up because there were only three witnesses, and none of them were talking.
Gilles; out of gratitude and good faith to his old comrade. The monk; who had been well paid for his services, and finally the duty nurse.
She’d already quit her post, with no reason forthcoming. “Now, as to your second question? “
“About your actual relationship to Carl? “ Jacob Emerson Kane reiterated with his self congratulatory grin.
I was so ready to wipe it off his face as I smiled sweetly. “You really want the truth? “
“Surprise me. “
“We have a common friend. “ I laughed, only to see that damnable smile widen as Kane looked over my shoulder.
I turned to see my parents standing right behind me the whole time.
Gail, in particular, looked quite amused by our banter.
“I believe you call her ‘Mom. ‘ “ he replied curtly.
“Who is here, why? “
“Because I get a strange call from my daughter, and when I confronted Mr. Kane about it … well … “ she responded somewhat tartly.
I didn’t give it a second of thought, suffocating the both of them in an expansive hug.
We ignored the third wheel who even managed some tactful silence during our moment.
And when the moment was past, Gail shook her head with cynical remembrance.
“And here I’d thought Vegas was the strangest time in my life. Did I ever tell about that? How Carl was investigating a series of strange murders? How I got him to thinking there was an actual monster on the loose? “
“And did you believe in Vampires? “ I teased, stepping into it as almost a force of habit now.
This time, I didn’t need her incredulous expression to consider spilling everything. As when I first came to her in this body, it was as if she could see the man inside …
“At that time, I almost did. “ Gail confessed sheepishly, taking Daniel’s hand in an apologetic gesture. “But afterwards, even before I met your father, I’d convinced myself that it really was just some crazy with dime-store teeth. “
“Amen to that. “ chuckled her husband, as he ventured the million dollar question. “So what happens now? “
“I think … “ Jacob suggested, perhaps with more gravitas than these surreal times merited. “We see to properly laying Kolchak to rest. “
September 29th
And so we did.
After some wrangling from Jacob, of course, which convinced the Chicago PD to release the body, with a promise we’d inter it whole. That, for the possibility of any future exhumation, we supposed.
While I’d hoped to burn this rather gruesome bridge behind me … well … you can’t have everything. I ultimately decided it was enough I’d escaped with Karen … with my skin intact.
The second part of his repayment to this old reporter was the donation of a cemetery plot, located atop a gently sloping hill, overlooking the city that Carl had grown to love. I gather there was some justice there, though I didn’t quite see it at first.
The mourners on the crisp autumn morn were few, but perhaps it was befitting Kolchak’s life as I … as he’d lived it.
Still, we made for a fairly less than respectful crew, as even Detective Draper; attending in a nonofficial capacity, shared a few more anecdotes she’d heard over the years.
Gail, as was her nature, smiled at private memories, and Kane launched into a slightly modified reprisal of his ‘Bulldog of Tenacity. ‘ speech.
That was until the rest of us shut him down with some rather rude laughter.
And to add to the absurdity of attending my own funeral, I received that once eagerly awaited; now very belated phone call.
“Good. “ The Professor idly remarked, clear relief cutting through his otherwise level voice. “Still in one piece, I see. “
‘Somewhat, though a bit singed. “ I roughly chided my would rescuer, arrived long after the mule had escaped … And … had been captured and put back in the barn. “Nice to hear from you, finally. “
“I did get your messages. “ He protested, quite taken back by my tone. “It was hard enough to locate my contacts; the reasons hard to explain right now. I do have the information you wanted, in any case, and an idea or two on why the attacks are happening … “
“Happened. “
“Huh? “
“Happened, as in ‘Past.’ ‘Over and Done. ‘ ‘Where the hell are you again? ‘ “ my initial sarcasm at his fallibility was muted by the confusion at both ends of the line.
The Professor, with his seemingly boundless resources, had been left out the loop somehow. His stumbling about had nearly cost additional lives to the body count thus far, and I’d lost confidence in my philosopher in shining corduroy.
“But you’re OK? “ he insisted, with a loving concern which would’ve made me blush.
Would’ve, before that strange conversation from earlier and the mystery woman who kept interrupting …
“OK, in Flesh. My spirit, however, feels more than a little beaten up. Have you noticed that I’m not too happy right now? “
“And this sounds like something not easily hashed out over the phone. “ Prof advised, trying unsuccessfully for a sage voice, which I countered with a derisive snort.
“Uh, could you meet me at my place in a few days …?” he tried again, though clearly I was having none of it.
“Sooner. “ I challenged him, an ultimatum behind my angry words which brooked no argument. “Like yesterday, for instance. “
I could sense the hesitation even before I heard my sponsor sigh heavily. It was as if he was carefully weighing several options, deciding which had the least dire consequence.
Still, as well versed as I’d become in such things, I was too upset to let him off the hook because of it. “ Yes? “
‘Yes. “ he agreed with considerable gravity. “But when I give the directions, you must follow them to the letter. Is this understood? “
“Sure. “ I answered somewhat testily to which he shoot back. “This isn’t an argument. You need to understand how serious I am. Otherwise, just stay at home. “
“I understand. No deviations. “ I soothed, my journalists interest … No … my feminine curiosity engaged by his caution. “Really, I do. So what’s the name of this place? “
September 30th, 2005
On The Road, somewhere between Cleveland and Akron.
‘Pan’s Sanctuary. ‘
It sounded like a perfect getaway for a Satyr in training, didn’t it?
Those seedy (pun intended. )sexual havens from the late 70s, reduced to very exclusive clubs when the AIDS crisis hit hard scarcely five years later. It sorta reinforced my baser fantasies concerning The Professor.
The location, however, undermined these free range images of frolic and fornication, situated as the retreat was in the midst of a State Park.
This, at least according to my wayward guide, was ‘Deception.’ in the loosest definition of the word, being that only the purest seeker could find it.
So it was that I found myself on this abandoned fire road, the clear cool day otherwise broken by a soft mist which wafted playfully among the trees.
It was as if, letting my vivid imagination run rampant for the moment, something had removed the world around me. At least temporarily.
On the other hand, it was what Prof had warned of in his rather severe lecture to me. That Pan’s Sanctuary was very sensitive to emotional conflict. That it welcomed only those brave souls who could leave their baggage on the roadside.
So, in truth, it was I who’d been removed from the world. It was similar to, but not like that terrible void which precipitated my current quest toward resurrecting Karen.
Unlike the great absence, in this instance I was keenly aware of my surroundings, the mist parting enough to let me pull the car over onto a wide shoulder.
As I turned off the engine, my sweep spotted the signs which Prof told me to look for.
They were twin marks, unremarkable to the casual observer. I was able, with his careful instruction, to discern a runic pattern, showing the way to a deceptively winding trail.
I grimaced slightly, somewhat put out by the prospect of hoofing it, but ultimately this gal was game for the challenge.
Of course an hour into the trek, I was seriously reevaluating my machismo or its feminine equivalent, slogging along through this diffused fairy sunlight.
All about me the land seemed unreal, as if I’d stepped through a portal … or a mirror. All at once I felt closer to understanding what The Professor had been saying all this time.
“As if it were really all that difficult? “ joked a very familiar voice.
She was tall without being Amazonian, leaning against a pine in sedate observation.
The sharp face, with severe cheeks and a subtly pointed chin, was otherwise ageless. Her raven black mane fell to almost the small of her strong back in a straight correct fashion. Those wide azure eyes, flecked with bits of purple, regarded me with a cool humor which sorta irritated me.
“The Professor sent you? “ I asked with faux disinterest, trying hard not to speak that question which first came to mind. My escort bowed in curt formality, and with that gesture I had the absurd sense of someone who was … ‘More There. ‘ though it only lasted a second.
“It was rather like he asked politely. “ she said with a Cheshire smile. “But he was worried you would miss the last few miles to the sanctuary. “
“Well. “ I dared this shapely enigma, whose lithe figure was already dressed for the walk, though perhaps more high end than most woodsmen … or rather woods-women. “I’m Game if you are. “
Those wide bright eyes twinkled at this, as she casually folded arms across her modest breasts, clad in a mauve blouse, complimented overtop by a dark leather jerkin.
“A nice turn of the phrase. “ she laughed approvingly before turning; quite a trick in those tight deep brown trousers, taking the lead at once.
She was definitely fleet of foot, and again, in her black calf high fitted boots, it was nearly miraculous.
So it was that The Professor and I were reunited, though ultimately I felt like a Trotter being put through its pace as we arrived at Pan’s Sanctuary. My mystery escort smiled with sweet satisfaction even as I took in the scene.
Not quite the naked orgy of my jealous imaginings, there were perhaps near a dozen folk, several dressed as stylish as this arrogant woman who coyly whispered something into my mans ear.
For the most part the others had paired off, carrying on what seemed to be fairly innocuous conversations.
At least they did until I was brought into the glade, its autumnal splendor lit only by a trio of small campfires.
All eyes turned to inspect this interloper carefully, a few with less than benign interest. I couldn’t help but note that most had that same flash of additional substance.
I had the sense of an imminent inquisition, to which The Professor responded in the negative, an odd expression on his face.
As if my arrival was the sign for the others, slowly they departed the sanctuary, one or two touching my shoulder as they passed.
I was still trying to make up my mind if this was Good or Bad, when I noticed that only we three remained. The Professor, myself, and HER.
“Artie, might I? “ he spoke at last, his contrite request absent its usual bravado.
With a conciliatory nod she stood back; though not by much, and it confirmed a suspicion in my rather beleaguered mind.
My watcher had a watcher after all.
“Look, honey. “ he began, to which I sniggered impolitely before laying into him “First you tell me ‘You Love Me. ‘ and now it’s Honey? ‘ “
“I’m only allowed to say this once. “ Prof complained in an almost pleading voice which shocked the hell out of me. “So do me the courtesy of ‘Shutting Up? ‘ Please? “
I did so, more from amazement than respect, and he reverted back to form.
“You may have noticed. “ he explained in that borderline insufferable tone. “I’m not quite like normal men. Through circumstances which you needn’t know, I became indentured to the higher powers; some of whom you’ve meet before. In order to pay off my contract, I gained a certain ability, a sort of foresight, though its content is determined by my employers. “
“Which explains some of your more charming habits. “ I interjected, giving Artie a sideways look.
She only tittered politely as my mentor continued.
“Perhaps, but it also created some interesting blind spots. “ he conceded sheepishly. “As much as I was tagged, so to speak, to serve as Karen’s guide, often I was working at cross-purposes with other interested parties. And when you … Kolchak rather, intervened in what was meant to be … “
“I suppose it really choked up the works, huh? “ I responded, actually feeling embarrassed at how much of a mess I’d made of things. “Would it help to say ‘I’m Sorry? ‘ “
Now he grinned widely while our adjudicator gave me a supportive wink.
“It might. “ he agreed. “However, this leads us to that moment I lost you to the Fates. Why I had to petition Artem - Artie to allow me into Pan’s Sanctuary. “
Here was where the explanation became rather lengthy, so I reduce it down to not quite a nutshell.
As The Prof told me, Pan’s Sanctuary was the place to go when direct contact with the Gods was preferable to long distance communications.
It was, in the simplest terms possible, a halfway point between the realms.
Though he didn’t say directly, I suspected that other such spots existed around the world. Some were only as large as our glade, while a few were much bigger …
“As I said. “ he went on. “The holes created by your unanticipated transmutation, they evolved into anomalies which tried to fill the missing spaces. As with Nature, even Super-Nature abhors a Vacuum … “
“So this whole thing in Chicago was my fault? “ I asked as he placed a comforting hand on my forearm.
“It’s not. “ he insisted, and I believed him, even without Arties quiet confirmation. “Once the decision was made by you, however impulsive, it was meant to be. The rest just followed naturally. “
“So is this Ghost from Kolchak’s Past put to rest? “ I insisted, really truly not willing to go through all that again.
“You did the right thing. “ Artie confirmed, absently studying her finely tapered fingers as if the topic bored her. “But don’t let this knowledge deter you from your quest. You still have miles yet to go, after all. “
“Don’t I know it. “ I groused before turning on my stoic spectator. “So, I pass the test? “
“There was a test. “ Artie answered, oddly put out by the question. “It wasn’t for you, though. Whether it was a success? Well, that remains to be seen. It was nice to have met you at last, Karen. “
“I’m dismissed? “ I demanded, made off balance by her brusqueness. “Are you going to guide me? “
“You’ll be able to find your own way. “ she counseled, eyeballing my man with an predatory severity. “You and The Professor may say ’Goodbye. ’ now “
“Don’t worry, hon. “ he soothed, giving me a chaste kiss on my cheek which brought back the tingle. “I just need to wrap up my own business.
"Could you come by my place about the 4th? I think maybe there’s something else we need to discuss. “
“A few things. “ I whispered, still dizzy from that kiss as I started off down the path. The world I was returning to, however, had suddenly gotten a lot more complicated.
October 4th, 2005
Oberlin College, Ohio.
I’d arrived at almost the crack of dawn, hoping to catch The Professor alone, but as I touched the buzzer the front door opened.
If I’d thought to catch some half naked co-ed trying to sneak off, the surprised, rather gangly; and very dressed male brought an awkward grin to this girls lips.
Prof silently laughed as he read me; right through to my backbone, but took my hand anyway. “Sam? This is Ms. Karen Foster Klein, a very good friend. You might have read one of her columns in the paper? “
I arched a wicked brow at ‘Very Good friend.’ wondering if I’d missed some vital clue here as I responded. “Pleased to meet you … ? “
“Ah, Prof is so considerate like that. “ chuckled the fashionably nerdish male, casually readjusting his wireless rims to better ogle me. “I’m Samuel Bradshaw, Associate Professor of Antiquities. I’m a fan. That is I’m sure I would be, if I had time to read the news. But I’ll be sure to make the time … “
Karen awoke at this moment to remind me of Arthur, Morris Goodall, that kid, Teddy, and of course Marcus Jones.
We did manage to collect some very unusual men; in both our incarnations. Still, I gallantly offered a free hand to cover our mildly unkind thoughts.
“Any friend of The Professors, after all. “
“Ah, exactly. “ he returned with such bemused politeness, I might just have worn my tell on my blouse. “I look forward to seeing you around the campus in the future? “
“Quite possibly. “ I told him honestly, we psychic siblings retracting our rather narrow opinion at once. ”I look forward to it as well. “
Sam gave a soft chuckle while Prof squeezed my fingers with patronizing disapproval, his peer tossing a short wave back at us as he departed.
I affected a “Sugar Won’t Melt on My Tongue. ‘ expression, wiggling freed yet slightly squashed digits, anticipating the usual barbed comment.
Instead, he impulsively leaned forward and planted a strong commanding kiss on my lips.
It was a passionate meltdown of China Syndrome proportions, much to my great relief. Still, even as we took our inspired groping indoors, I couldn’t help but wonder …
“Wuz, hiss um burble? “ I mumbled through his knowledgeable lip-lock before Prof broke it off with fond exasperation.
“I have to know before we go any further. Was anything you told me true? What, exactly, were you up to at the retreat? “
“I can’t give you the specifics. “ he apologized rather obliquely, all the while caressing my back. “I can say that I did lie about a few things. “
“And what were those ‘Few Things? ‘ “
“That you were in more direct danger than I let on. “ He admitted sheepishly. “Which is why I also lied about having that information you wanted. I was too busy trying to get you some protection … “
“Like I was on some overnight school trip. “ I giggled, until that adoring concern in his eyes wised me up. “Artie? It was her, wasn’t it? “
“Which is also something I can’t really talk about. “ my prospective lover asserted with unsmiling seriousness. “But it did give you room to move, to create your own destiny. At least for that moment. That’s one of several things I love about you … “
He hesitated at the misty look in my eyes, uncertain until I rewarded such a grand gesture with one of my own.
After several passionate rounds of Snogging; as the Brits would call it, I stepped back to smile at my man …. My … Man.
“So, this makes us a couple does it? “ I quipped with a teasing girly voice, to which I was rewarded with a playful slap to my posterior.
“Sass, young lady. “ The Professor scolded, but his eyes said otherwise as any further conversation was rendered moot …
October 30th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio
An Addendum to Karen Klein’s Journal.
All’s Well, that ends Well … But this isn’t that type of Fairy-Tale, now is it?
I would’ve liked to have seen everything wrapped up in a great big bow, move into that castle with my Prof Charming, seen roads end at long last. But alas, as is Life, sometimes Resolution was even messier than the event itself …
I followed some of it in the papers; as well as e-postings which Jacob thoughtfully kept forwarding me.
From this small yet mysterious Missing Persons case, I suspected that both The Gods and City Officials must have been crazy, wild speculation giving way to an all encompassing conspiracy.
Kolchak had been more of a controversial influence than even I’d considered, the fallout from his demise reopening every unsolved crooked operation in Chicago’s turbulent history.
It would ultimately cost numerous people their jobs, making or breaking careers of the city’s Political Elite.
Thankfully, while Karen Klein’s name was largely left out of it, somehow a certain lady editor got wind of my involvement.
“I never realized you were that ambitious, Karen. “ Dorothy Weller greeted me over the phone on the 15th. “A bit out of your usual forte, isn’t it? Regardless, perhaps we could do something with this. A series? “
“It really wasn’t that big a part. “ I lied, uncomfortable with her growing enthusiasm. “Besides that, there are some good people whom I don’t want to see hurt … “
“There’re ways to protect your sources, as you well know. “ she chastised me, to which I forcefully argued. “And if I’m as specific as I’d need to be, they’ll be found out in the end. “
“Even though I might agree with you, in principle. “ Dorothy half conceded. “This is too big a story not to run with. You could do a lot of Good by clearing up some of the mystery … “
“Here’s the truth. “ I told her, after a deliberate pause. Trusted Boss, Trusted Friend, but that only went so far.
“The Story, My Story, was helping someone fleeced by a suspect business operation. In the course of my investigation, I was lead to Chicago where Janus ReGen was based. During this time I’d hooked up with Carl Kolchak, an old friend of Mom’s, and together we put Janus out of business. “
“And the rest of it? “
“Well, if Janus had a hand in all those pies, it’s news to me. “ I ventured honestly.
I thought of my anomalies, curious as to whether all parties named were, in fact, connected. But these were waters I wasn’t interesting in swimming in again, not ever.
“No, it’s simply a matter of making a mountain out of a fairly straightforward mole hill. I don’t think we’d really want to contribute to that, do you? “
Dorothy eventually gave in but offered, instead, a compromise which I couldn’t easily refuse. By the end of our conversation, I’d agreed to forward a streamlined article on Janus ReGen, detailing its Rise and Fall, yet tactfully omitting certain names and addresses.
It was, at best, a temporary placation, Dorothy adamant that I draft a full disclosure at some future time. My own discretion, of course.
I’d gotten quite a few e-mails from Marcus, which I ignored, and one from Lauren who briefly let me know she’d survived a severe tongue lashing by The Commissioner.
If not for her conspicuous note keeping, and attention to procedure, Detective Draper would’ve been back to walking a beat in a flash.
Despite her former suspicions toward this gal, I wished her well.
The last item to come out of Chicago was actually some good news for once. It was a rather lengthy letter from Dillon, obviously transcribed on his behest as the writing was quite legible.
He was out of the hospital and under home care. I’d heard he’d gotten a pretty nurse to help with his rehab, but someone else turned up as well … the daughter whose birth had started this whole affair.
Again, unlike the anticipated Happy Ending, rather it was Guarded Civility between the ex-soldier and this 53 year old Bay-Area dress-maker.
Lynn Fanning, one of countless foundlings born during War, then borne from it into a life most ordinary. But like many orphans, she was forever dogged by that shadow of ambiguity concerning her real parents.
I think that it was his stroke which made him ultimately more needy, less the dreadful absentee father of Lynn’s imaginings.
This, I hoped, would gradually speed reconciliation between them.
Change is necessary, though oft times brutal in the process. But as my own experiences have shown, sometimes you finally get what you need …
The End?
KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
YULE TIDE ME OVER; A STALKING STUFFER.
December 28th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio.
Karen Foster Klein’s Journal;
“It never snows but it blizzards. “ Pardon my paraphrase.
This was something that The Professor might smile at; as our recent Holiday proved. It was not only the certification of our status as a couple, but Gail’s (Mom‘s) confirmation of her only daughter’s odd condition.
In keeping with the season, and that immaculate conception of long ago, I had similar hopes of Salvation. It was not for my own battered soul, however, but for two women whom I loved.
My journey; since inadvertently high-jacking Karen Klein’s luscious body back in June, had certainly taken a eccentric set of turns since then.
But what started out as an old male reporter trying to live the life of this young woman, as best he could … well … it soon became as much about my Reeducation as her Resurrection.
Over the past several months I’d discovered the joys of Family & Friends; though the novelty of an ex-lover becoming your parent never got old. My alliance with a rather randy mythologist, named simply ‘The Professor. ‘ deepened into Love, just recently consummated in full.
And on my last adventure, I was finally able to bury Kolchak for good. This was due in small part(but no less significance. ) to the deities responsible for my present disarrayed state.
Finally, though my sister spirit seems less than half full, the tiny bit of Karen that reemerged during a rather embarrassing cruise had since grown to be a quite noticeable presence in our mind.
This, along with the rest, certainly made the past month a mix of confusion, comfort, and ‘Yes.‘ even Joy.
December 10th, 2005
Oberlin College, Ohio.
“Honey? “ the endearment still rolled somewhat awkwardly off my plum painted lips, as I casually adjusted the plunging neckline of my burgundy cocktail dress.
The simple tabletop mirror in his bedroom, in keeping with The Professor’s austere existence, was hardly suited to feminine vanity.
But this was just part of a growing list of issues between us, since that first passionate kiss in Early October started he and I down a riotous relationship road.
“Honey? “ his annoying good natured voice echoed from just out of sight, thoughtfully keeping away from any throw-able objects within my reach.
Having a boyfriend who knew all your darkest secrets … and … was all too willing to use them in a pinch, did make him a convenient target for my ire. Still, when it mattered, The Professor had been my personal savior and loving confidant, saving my sanity more than once.
For that reason I ,more often than not, aimed simply to maim.
“You’re safe. “ I teased, though quietly I thought. ‘For Now. ‘ “Do me up, please? “
My mature pepper haired scholar came in with that unworldly sense of assurance, which still left me breathless.
If he were a god, he was very good at playing the mortal, albeit a quite stylish one.
For the season he developed a fondness for casual formality, thankfully not always tweed, befitting his academic standing which I‘d recently discovered was formidable. This, as much as anything, turned out to be the straw which finally broke down any remaining resistance to his charms.
“Are you sure you mean ‘Up?’ “ his strong right hand deftly held the small of my back while the other toyed playfully with my zipper. “ I can do ‘Down.’ just as easily. “
For all the foreplay and sometimes frenzied petting, we hadn’t bent the bed springs yet. Unlike my only other lover, I felt merely a patient humor from The Professor.
Sometimes it seemed an old world sense of chivalry at work, though in Historic Truth that meant Rape with Honor.
Mostly, I considered it a side affect of our unique history together. I had little doubt that when he thought me ready, my amorous expectations would be more than met.
Reluctantly, for this particular evening, I choose ‘Up.’ , accepting a dark fake fur stole for my bare shoulders as his touch made me shiver with delight. But Duty came before Deviltry, and we were already fashionably late for the Dean’s Christmas party.
With so much left indefinite about my beau, still, I hadn’t considered the reaction to our arrival at the college presidents unpretentious manor.
Of The Professors peers, I’d only being introduced to a few; and never as anything but an associate or friend, yet this collective turn of heads caught me off guard.
The majority reflected a polite curiosity. With a handful of the female grad-students, however, there was a mix of envy, spite, and … was it pity?
“I’m glad you finally accepted my invitation this time, Prof. “ The Dean retorted with something akin to goodwill, before casting an interested glance my way.
“He’s always managed to come up with some reason not to show up. “ explained this gracious old man before taking another shot. “And how many years has that been? Twenty-Five? Thirty? “
“Nearly Forty. “ deadpanned my boyfriend with such sincerity, my mouth fell open in spite of myself. I shut it fast, though not quick enough that he didn’t give this girl a saucy grin.
“If you can believe it, this is the first time I was able to rustle up a suitable date. “
Now I didn’t believe it … not a word … not with some of the sour glances thrown his way by those aforementioned females.
But while I mulled over some choice words, for the present I put out the brightest smile I could muster as The Dean joined in on the joke.
“And worth waiting for, I’m sure, Ms. Klein. “
“It’s my pleasure, of course. “ I enjoined cheerfully, giving my mystery man a severe squeeze of his hand. He winced almost imperceptibly, for my benefit, though I planned not to let him off that easily.
Again, that was for afterwards as we exchanged some pleasantries with The Deans daughter (his wife having passed on that year. )before moving to our assigned table.
Though the company was modest in size; less than sixty but somewhat more than fifty, it still felt like we were the head of some processional. Or rather, The Professor was, and I was his consort.
It was perhaps understandable that I basked in the afterglow of his notoriety, making sure the hussies who slyly demanded his attention knew who he’d arrived with.
I fussed a bit more than I usually did, the dregs of old Carl Kolchak generally keeping me from being too girly, but this was War!
I questioned my man about the wine, and the selections he choose from the expansive buffet, acting as his better half in principle if not on paper.
I took note of a familiar twinkle in his loving gaze, knowing full well that I’d suffer his sardonic reprisal later on.
Unlike other times, I felt rather honored, even if it made me less popular with some of the women in the room.
Still, if my own standing was in dispute, the response from the men was almost comical.
With my less than subtle Hen-Peck, I’d made The Professor one of the boys in full; rather than a envied distant elder. I beamed impishly as he was whisked away by them at the conclusion of our meal. I supposed it was meant to be a rescue from the old Ball and Chain.
I … on the other hand, now faced an Inquisition of intense feminine interest, which would’ve made Torquemada confess his sins in a heartbeat.
“So … how’d a newspaper columnist hook up with our Professor? “ so clear, the less than subliminal nuance from the chipper doctorate student to my right.
What she meant to ask was ‘How’d a tramp like you, with only a masters degree to her name, manage to snag a prize like The Professor? “
“It’s rather funny. “ I chuckled with forthright irony. “I was working on a story, which initially had nothing to do with his area of expertise, when at some point in my investigation a name came up. When I asked around, everyone I talked to suggested that he was the best man to help.
" As it turned out they were right. The Professor was … very giving. “
“Yah, but how did you two … hook up? “ echoed another co-ed, whose name deliberately escapes me. “I mean, all these years and suddenly … “
“You mean The Great Hedonist? Pan’s Frat Brother? Dionysus’ Drinking Buddy? How‘d he get caught?“ I mused quietly.
She wasn’t asking anything I hadn’t thought of myself. It nearly broke us up before we even got started.
But what I’d believed to be a wild bacchanal, turned out to be his idea of a peace offering. What I’d suspected from one phone call became an enchanting reality after Chicago …
“It started out with a bet. “ I told the gaggle with bemused fondness.
The Bet, concerned my potential yet symbolic deflowering as a reborn woman. It ended with our first date, though I neatly derailed any romantic intentions by making it a family affair.
Of course the Gods, or Fate, knew better … “I lost, of course. Eventually it turned into something a lot more interesting. “
“I’m sure. “ the Deans Daughter interjected, though I wasn’t sure it was support with that shaded look she shot my way. “So, have you put him through the relationship test? “
“Cuse? “
“You know. “ teased another woman. “Your toothbrush in his bathroom? Using his razor to shave your legs? How do you know you’ve domesticated him if you don’t? “
We’re not that kind of couple. “
“Well, at least you took him to meet the Parents? “ asked The Deans Daughter, again with this oblique expression.
I definitely felt too old; in both my incarnations, to suffer these foolish games without comment. “We did … before. And with Christmas coming up … “
In my arrogance, I never expected the collective look of shock from the table as I said this.
“He doesn’t do Christmas. “ they announced, surprised that I didn’t know this. Yet even as I feared I’d finally been called on a bluff … again he came through when I needed it the most.
“Well, there’s always compromise with any couple. “ The Professor interrupted from behind with light condescension, firmly gripping my soft shoulders as he said it.
“After all, the winter solstice has been celebrated long before it became a Christian tradition. “
I bent my head back, staring up into that infinitely kind face, hoping he’d catch my cues.
He made me wait, damn him, if only for a split second longer than I would’ve liked.
Eventually though, The Professor rewarded my impatience with a firm kiss. With that I felt Karen send me smug vibes, as well as some risqué images which made me blush.
She’d become my copilot, or was that soul pilot? Sending amorphous symbols of trust and love, long before gaining a more vocal presence in our shared consciousness.
I think it was a psychic suggestion from my inner sister which finally nudged me into The Professors steady embrace.
“Soon, my love. “ he whispered, deftly reading both our minds. “Not tonight, but soon . “
“Don’t unwrap before Christmas? “ I shoot back derisively before he silenced me with another kiss.
“Perhaps even before that … “ he suggested roguishly, after coming up for air. “But only if you’re good. “
‘My Own Pagan Santa. “
“So be good, for goodness’ sake. “
At once we were mindful of our audience, especially those goggle eyed youngsters who just now understood how far out of his league they'd been.
I was seriously pleased with myself, leaning against The Professor to further enhance the point. Finally I was ready to enjoy the rest of the party. For the remainder of the night … we did.
“For a former old man, you’re quite the minx. “ he whispered rudely in my ear as we hit the dance floor in a cleared arboretum.
With a contemporary mix provided by satellite radio, all pretense of stuffy academic entertainment was nicely overturned. My partner, in keeping with the evening’s surprises, proved himself to be a fairly competent dancer.
“Speak for yourself. “ I giggled, feeling quite the spring chicken beside him … or was that Chick? “Just how old are you? “
“Ask me no secrets. “ he paraphrased before bending me back into a dip which made my head spin … or was it the wine?
As he brought me upright, I readily admitted that my journalistic instincts oft got in the way of a good time. But this only meant the matter was deferred not forgotten.
When we segued into an impromptu tango, what was deferred all but disappeared before a flood of joyful abandon.
It was honestly one of the most magical evenings; as man or woman, I’d ever enjoyed.
The Professor behaved himself, in broad terms, but even that set itself for amusement rather than outrage.
For my part, in engaging the Drunken Intelligentsia, I unexpectedly recalled vivid college experiences at Columbia as my own. I later realized it had been Karen who fed me her life in sublime detail.
For that moment, we were psychic siblings set against the world and winning.
“I’ll get your wrap, hon. “ The Professor informed me, even before the Dean thoughtfully chimed the edge of his coffee cup with his spoon.
The last round was served, with a touch of the Irish added, along with some pudding pastry which I couldn’t identify.
I idly grasped his hand as my man rose, letting him lift me out of my chair before letting go. “You do that and I’ll say our Goodbyes. “ I amended coyly.
For our farewells, it was affable on both sides, The Dean giving me a friendly wink which earned him a chaste buss on his right cheek.
I believe that night was an exercise in Normalcy for my unusual academic, which nonetheless held a touch of the theatric. Unlike before, it felt less heavy handed; almost playful. Perhaps this was the Gods notion of throwing us a bone.
“Karen? “ The Deans Daughter took my hand shyly, a smile touched by whimsy. “I hope you don’t think we were picking on you. You really don’t know how unusual this is. For everyone, I mean.
"For all his eccentricities, The Professor is one of the most admired men on Campus. On any campus … “
“And with no hint of impropriety on his part, no real scandal. “ I ventured softly. “Not even with all his adoring fans? “
“He’s a man, that’s for sure. “ she laughed, as something akin to regret implied she never slept with him. “But there was never any subterfuge. It was simply an exercise … “
“In getting laid. “ I finished, having heard something similar back in July. “Hon? How long have you known The Professor? “
“Since I was a child. That’s what makes this thing between you two so amazing. What he was then, he is now. This constant, it never wavers.
"I don’t mean to say he remains exactly the same. Still, it’s as if he wills only those changes he wishes for. For your beau, however, it’s all perfectly natural.
"If there’s magic in the ordinary, is it still ordinary? “
“I like to think so. “ I answered kindly, believing I understood the girl; as well as the others, just a little better.
No matter how good the sex, if there was no lasting intimacy … “Otherwise, we’re forever chasing rainbows with no ends. Where’s the fun in that? “
We giggled reflexively as the object of our discussion arrived, an inquisitive expression on his handsome face.
The Deans Daughter grinned wickedly while I snuggled into his chest, wrapping first my stole and next his arm about me. She waved from the door as we stepped out into the chilly night, all the while The Professor looking uncharacteristically confused.
I didn’t really mean to be cruel, but after suffering under his smug self awareness for all these months …
“Enjoying ourselves? “ The Professor scolded, which brought me up short, turning me round on my fashionable maroon strapped heels.
“As a matter of fact, yes. This is a problem? “ I challenged him, his reproach at once highly inappropriate.
My frosty words outdid the winter air with their icy resolve, but for the man who looked as if he was working a riddle rather than a relationship.
For several minutes The Professor contemplated my stern gaze, these lovely yet tight glossy lips, until a faint upturn to his solid masculine lines turned the frown slightly upside down. “Not anymore. “
“Not anymore. “ I repeated stupidly, feeling a change between us but not knowing what it meant.
That rather sheepish look made it seem he’d been caught off guard. Not by anything I’d done, specifically, but by his own response to it. “Could you possibly be more vague? “
I’m not sure, but I could try. “
For the moment it was as close to an apology as I’d get that night, his sly blush making him more mortal than ever before.
Perhaps it was a precursor of our future together. If so, it was I who felt more forgiving toward his slip into an all too human frailty.
Still, I couldn’t let The Professor get away with it entirely. “So much for compromise. “
We kissed, and this time it was smoldering, even if he withheld the fire. But his promise was there, and I could take comfort in that. For the present, we were two embers waiting for combustion.
December 13th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio.
“So, my tight lipped only child, what’s the word on Christmas? “ Gail asked as we window shopped along a slightly blustery avenue in the city. “Is this mystery man you’ve been seeing going to grace us with his presence? “
“Uh. “ I absently brushed a few snowy flakes; the remnants of a lake affect squall from the morning, off a wind burned cheek. “We hadn’t really made any solid plans at this point. “
“And what’s the hold up? “ interrogated Mom, my own personal yenta narrowing her beautiful eyes with mocking skepticism. “He makes a one time surprise appearance on our doorstep and that’s it? “
“That was different, and you know it, Mother. “ I scolded her with a dismissive snort. “We were simply colleagues at the time. I invited him in return for a favor he did me .. “
“And you probably thought so, though the rest of the world knew better, young lady. “ Gail chuckled.
“It’s rare to find a fit like you two seem to have. I probably sound like an old lady, but throw all the romantic clichés out the window and that’s what you’re left with. That’s what’s important. “
“Well, maybe a fit like water and electricity. “ I countered with rueful candor.
The primary reason we hadn’t cinched our holiday schedule was as much my problem as the Professors’. So far our notions of a good time usually ended either in Terror, and/or Humiliation.
Though recently I’d possibly leaked some clues concerning my true nature to the parents, that was different from placing them in harms way.
“That’s just passion, sweetheart. “ Mom murmured tenderly, patting my shoulder before aggressively slapping it with impatience. “So get the lead out. Your Dad & I aren’t getting any younger, you know.
"Besides, I think Daniel would like another man at the table. Sometimes he feels double-teamed by all the Estrogen in the house. “
“You are evil. You know that? “
“My prerogative, dear. So I can tell him that company’s coming? “ Gail wheedled in that playful yet pushy tone which Kolchak could never refuse.
In Vegas it had ultimately set him on a course which took him away from her, onto a long road of Dark Shadows. “Do you believe in Vampires, Little Girl? “
“Ok, Ok, I give. “ I smiled with weary affection for the woman. “If I inherited even half your skills, The Professor won’t dare refuse us. “
As I would discover, Half was occasionally just Right Enough …
December 15th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio
I was in for a disappointment when I tried to call my boyfriend, though unlike Chicago he’d thoughtfully left me a rather cryptic message.
“If this is Karen, I love you & I’ll be home in a few days. If you can’t wait, remember what I said about ‘Pan’s Sanctuary. ‘ when you last tried to find me. Again, I love you, and we’ll talk when I see you. “
There had been a bit of unpleasant housekeeping back in October, after the Chicago Detectives had finally let me off the hook concerning Kolchak’s odd demise.
I’d been pissed at The Professor for leaving on his retreat, for leaving me to my own devices to face a vengeful demon alone. Once all that was past …
Pan’s Sanctuary was a spot for true Pagans, a glade of understated yet potent forces.
Surprisingly it wasn’t that far from a State Park (whose name I won’t disclose for my own reasons ) but as The Professor explained, it only revealed itself to loyal disciples of the old ways.
The key, however, was not physical, or psychic as we’ve come to think of such things. The closest example was from The Buddha, concerning a emptying of self.
Self …
It was hardly selfless these days, though I could perhaps argue that I was finishing what Karen started.
The very thing I’d been after The Professor about … Keeping Secrets, I’d done a rather botch job of that on my own.
I’d thought what I was doing was for all the right reasons. But what if it was still only for my own happiness, rather than to lay out the bread crumbs so Karen could find her way home?
And what of Gail’s suspicions? as I’d so thoughtfully come close to spilling the beans not that long ago?
It was my hope that she’d never know Kolchak had taken up temporary residence in her daughters body. Now I couldn’t help but wonder if I hadn’t underestimated her resilience.
Perhaps that was yet another test from my preternatural benefactors?
I fidgeted restlessly in my empty apartment, a glass of wine in one hand and a quarter empty bottle beside my chair. What had been delightful confusion just two days ago was now a morose guilt trip … until …
Up to this point Karen had seemed content to slowly cultivate a steady connection between us.
In the present; like a vivid Christmas cliché, she blasted an articulate message which broke through my self indulgence. Only three words, but her annoyance was evident.
“Go To Him! “
It was without any further hesitation that I ventured out into the late afternoon, across the river and into the woods as snow chains rattled appropriately for the season.
After a few hours my car chugged gamely along a fire road, lazy flurries shrouding the surrounding forest in a swirling mist.
It was silence beyond the sputter of the engine, the weather ambiguous as partially cloudy became a whiteout which shrank the visibility to just beyond my front bumper.
I suspected that even the hardy winter hiker & too frequent poacher would stay indoors today, but I had a few miles more to go. It was little worry to me, in any case, only an annoying delay.
What I soon realized was that the whole world was gone. Ok, technically it wasn’t, but rather it was my connection which had been severed; along with all the baggage which came with it.
The Sanctuary clearly had extended its influence, and yet I felt no danger there. It was almost welcoming, though the ancients had warned unwary travelers of such sirens lullabies.
It was not much further on that the storm cleared, just enough so I could safely pull the car over, near to a familiar set of trail markers.
Almost imperceptible from normal wear n tear, the seemingly random scars on the pine tree formed a runic glyph to my practiced eyes. What it meant was that I would have to hoof it from this point on.
No slacker; at least in this beautifully fit body, I psyched myself up for the trek ahead.
The wood was Lovely in its icy eloquence, Dark with the lengthening shadows of the short winter day, Deep as the deceptive winding path ahead. It forced you; by necessity, to narrow your focus upon the now.
I, of course, as contrary as ever, had but a single thought to keep me company. I thought about The Professor.
Only an hour into it, I got my first sign I’d passed through the barrier, a loud raucous cry greeting me from a tall spruce.
It was a great black bird, with a shimmering riot of unkempt feathers, watching me with a tilt of its head and single purple eye. I stopped respectfully, offering a short nod back to which the sentinel cackled somewhat cynically before taking flight.
I wasn’t sure if I was suppose to wait, but having never been one to obey orders anyway, I trudged on through the ankle deep snow.
Evidently ‘To Follow. ‘ had been the right choice after all as I spotted a shifting light through the trees. Feeling the cold somewhat more I pulled my downy suede jacket tighter, hustling toward what now revealed itself to be a modest campfire.
“Trust you to be fashionably late. “ The Prof greeted me, though his mild tone was anything but mocking. We were the only persons within the open space, and yet I sensed the remnants of a greater presence(s) whose afterglow lingered within Nature itself.
The trees seemed to lean into the circle, perhaps to warm themselves with our fire. Over our heads, the deepening blue of the sky swirled in patterns that Van Gogh himself might have painted. And in the midst of the wonder, Prof stood as part of; yet somehow separated from, the elemental.
“Another test? “ I pondered aloud, with a piety that felt so alien to my nature. He chuckled somewhat reflexively, taking my smaller hands in his larger palms.
“Perhaps, but not for you. “
In my spontaneous reverie, still I managed to cock my head inquisitively, wondering if he was joking. This was before The Professor gave me a full on kiss.
I felt a certain neediness in that otherwise ardent lip-lock, an emotion I’d never felt from him before.
He’d been my rock for so long that I felt slow in my nurturing embrace, but once I took him in my arms I wouldn’t let go.
“It appears that I’d been privileged in my devotions. “ he whispered reverently, and when I realized it was directed at me, I blushed fiercely. “But you don’t get gifts for nothing. There’s always a price to be paid when you accept them … or reject them. “
As an old man set in my ways, or a much younger woman of stubborn self reliance, I was usually slow in comprehension. But I did my mentor proud in catching his drift at once.
It was what I’d discovered at the Deans Party, the attitude of the girls and all it implied … “Love? “
“A teacher shouldn’t fall for one of his students, even though she technically isn’t. “ he amended, almost as haughty as before. “But when you first walked into my office … “
“Hold it, lover. “ I interrupted in a passing huff. “Karen came to you first, even before she met me. So, which of us was it? Karen or Kolchak? “
“And why did you suddenly decide to come here? “
‘Uh, Karen sorta pushed me out the door. “ I admitted reluctantly, but at the same time grinned at my own naiveté. “She is me? Or both of us? “
“Who keeps her safe and sane until she can finally take charge of her own destiny?
"But while I adored her from the start, you certified my initial instincts. So, if you insist on being technical, it was her beauty and brains, your ability to improvise under pressure. Together you forged a versatility of spirit which was the final straw.” The Professor confirmed, glancing over my shoulder at something I couldn’t see.
I expected regret, but the way he held me, it felt more like relief … or release. “So, you ready? “
“Ready? “ I inquired disbelievingly. “For What? “
“To Go Home, of course. “ he rejoined with an otherwise unvoiced concern, like a houseguest who’d overstayed their welcome. “And I could use a ride back. “
I would’ve asked ‘Why.’ under other circumstances, but Karen felt the point to be moot, so I simply gave him my hand as we left the mystery behind us.
Again it was I who gave him support, strangely comfortable with the temporary shift in our roles. If he found himself on uneven ground, I had faith that The Professor would regain a firm footing once more, so long as Karen & I stayed true.
The glow had all but gone by the time we reached my car, the only warmth was found in each other. But after enduring so much, that was enough.
December 16th, 2005
Oberlin College, Ohio
Back at his place, the one o’clock hour chimed as he unlocked the door. “After you Milady. “
As I stepped inside The Professor impulsively placed a hand on my ass, gently guiding me into the apartment somewhat hurriedly.
“Frisky, are we? “ I quipped innocently, feeling his fingers trace a lighthearted line up the small of my back. At the party he’d said ‘Soon.’ but only when I was ready.
At the sound of the door closing I felt more than ready, a quirky smile coming unbidden at the school boy earnest in his unabashed gaze.
In that moment I felt we were equals, perhaps a first in the long life of my former counselor.
But what precisely had been the price paid for this moment?
“What are you thinking? “ he asked and I laughed. It was not so much how he said it, but that the question was asked at all.
I felt somewhat bad, like he’d lost a limb or something. Perhaps all knowing had its limits after all? And what if that gift was suddenly whisked away?
“I was just wondering … what other surprises you have for me tonight? For Goodness sake? “
With that, Christmas came early, and several times more as well before the first cautious rays of daybreak pressed through the window shades.
Resting secure against The Professors solid nakedness, I happily realized that not all his talents were God Given …
Later on, when we finally deemed it necessary to get up & out, I couldn’t help but tease him as we ate a hearty country breakfast at the nearby diner. “So. “
“So. “ The Professor echoed back, that soft quizzical smile making me giggle. “It was good then? “
“Prof? You really were handicapped, weren’t you? Were all your experiences channeled through your talent? “ I chided him tenderly. “I couldn’t see how … “
“Because … my dear … you were gifted with an all too human myopia. Up and Down, Left or Right, Forward or Back. Few folks can deal with more than one of these choices at a single time.
"Fortunately, the mind’s eye can fill in those blanks where Intellect fears to tread.
“For the time wherein I paid a certain penance to the elders, the sight was only that which they allowed me to see. Unlike Blind Phineus, thankfully I could indulge in human appetites, but much of the nuance was lost. “
“Which explains certain of your habits. “ I chided without thinking, grabbing his hands across the tabletop after I said it.
He sighed heavily before giving into an puckish grin. “All of them, I would think. But The Gods figured that experience lead to obligation and attachments. Fear … “
“Leads to the Dark Side. “ my pixyish comment made my beau guffaw raucously which brought heads up from the various booths.
I couldn’t stop laughing at their startled faces as tears of merriment cooled my flush cheeks. Eventually though, I managed to pull myself together enough to ask. “So now what, sir? “
“Now that I‘ve been forced into retirement, you mean? “
“See, now that’s another thing … “ I started in on him and The Professor groaned. “With you it always is … another thing. “
“I just need to know. “ I pressed on, disregarding his newfound nonchalance. “You still my teacher? My quest isn’t nearly finished, after all. “
“As much as my pipeline to The Gods is gone, I’m not without some tricks.“ my misplaced mystic answered confidently, a faint semblance of the grand sage, battered but tempered by his own trial. “As for the rest, I’m not going anywhere. “
“That’ll be put to the test. “ I warned him cheerfully. “Mom has officially insisted you come home with me for Christmas. “
December 21st, 2005
Akron, Ohio.
“The Return of the One-Time Guest. “ Gail greeted us with an ironic tone, giving her daughter an ‘I told You So. ’ look as she gently hugged my date. Strike that … my lover. “You’re overdue, but Merry Christmas anyway. “
For this second time with my folks, The Professor was more the fish out of water than before.
I suppose I felt somewhat guilty for that, but still it was fun to watch him act initially awkward as any normal suitor.
Nevertheless, turnabout was short lived as even without The Gift, this extraordinary man … my man, worked to charm the stockings off her.
Figuratively, of course.
“We like to make an impression. “ that smile, while several shades shy of the old superior one, aptly substituted something else for Bravado. It was a something which also started with B. “When that fails … “
“Wine! “ Gail exclaimed. She was both impressed and puzzled as she studied the rather rough dark bottle in his hands, a dull golden label emblazoned with an antiquated script. “This is very old, and likely very expensive. German? “
“Right you are, Mrs. Klein. “ The Professor approved, ignoring my evil eye. “Although the area was known by a very different name in olden times. But in any age, the regional crop of several different berries matures almost up to the first snow in November.
"For that reason, it’s considered ideal to celebrate the Winter Solstice. “
“Yuletide. “ she ventured as Mom handed the bottle over to Daniel. “Are you a Wiccan, Professor? “
“At one time. “ He answered lightly yet I sensed some hedging behind the glib. “I’m in between Faiths at present. “
“Well. “ Dad interjected, catching my sideways glance before Mom did. “We’re pretty laid-back about the holidays around here. No Pressure. “
“I think I like that. “ The Professor agreed, absently taking my hand to confirm I was still with him. “So if you’ll set the wine by the hearth, it should be ready to serve by Yule Day. “
“Perfect. “ Dad amended amiably as he gestured toward the kitchen. “And while we wait, how about a Beer? “
I thought about the Deans Party as the men went off to do some bonding.
I idly wondered just how Daniel would handle the latest man to debauch his princess.
Gail eyed them conspiratorially until they were out of sight, only then taking my elbow. “How about you help me get the bedroom ready? “
“Perfect. “ I mimicked Dad exactly, to which Gail rolled her eyes with parental exasperation.
“Well. “ she opined casually as we turned the mattress in the guest room. “He’s not quite as I remembered from before. Did you two have a fight? “
“Nothing major. “ I murmured diplomatically, smoothing out the ivory sheets while Mother fluffed the pillows a bit. “It’s just compromise. Like I’m sure you and Dad had to do at first. Yes? “
“Mostly he just had to learn I was Right all the time. “ snorted Gail fondly. “But there seems to be something else going on here, daughter of mine. Does it have anything to do with Chicago? “
‘Why would you say that? “
“Because of all that unpleasantness about Carl, and afterwards you were very upset with The Professor. “
She came to me, taking my cheeks in her lovely hands as she continued. “Because I think that you lied about several things, darling girl. What you shared with Kolchak … well, it can’t explain the way you knew certain details about he and I. “
“Like Mother, Like Daughter. “ I quipped badly. “Maybe he was just in a sharing mood? “
“You’re not that good, young lady. “ Gail chided seriously, almost as if she was pressing against some invisible barrier. “It was like you were channeling him … “
“That’s pretty out there, Mom. “ My dismissal was not as light as I hoped for, but it did bring out a dry giggle as she patted my shoulder consolingly.
“What in our recent experiences hasn’t been? Besides … “
“Besides What? “
“I was just picturing Carl possessing you, even temporarily; like some bad B-movie. What a bit of Culture Shock that would’ve been. “ she laughed self consciously, impressed by her own wild flight of imagination.
“An old chauvinist finding himself in the body of a young woman … “
“It’d have been a shock, I’m sure. “ I responded with dark humor, reminded of that first reluctant shower, certain opportunities bypassed for much later. “But possibly he’d have used it as an opportunity? To make up for lost time, make amends for past mistakes. Perhaps even to reassure a former love … “
“Reassure her of what? “ Gail quietly interrupted, no whimsy only wistfulness.
“That he’d promise anything, sacrifice everything to ensure her happiness … and her daughters future. “ I concluded, uncertain and scared.
I believed I was her child now, even without the rush of approval from my spirit guide. Perhaps Karen’s cogent presence accounted for this brand new understanding between Mother and I?
“I think we should go see what mischief our boys are getting into. “ she whispered, absently dabbing moist eyes. “Since this is your first real ongoing relationship, you’re gonna need all the help you can get. “
I briefly wondered what Gail truly meant with that offhanded remark. Did she believe? Did it matter?
All I can really say is that as we went downstairs, her encouraging arm around my waist, I felt considerably lighter and happier than in a long while.
As with our first meet, I felt all the love necessary to eventually complete my mission.
December 22, 2005
Akron, Ohio
“The Weird just keeps getting weirder. “
I awoke late morning, the bed space beside me empty but comfortingly warm. Unlike my previous fling as a woman, I felt no want after that strange passion filled night; my first night as a guest in my parents house.
Miles yet to go, but no promises were necessary between The Professor and I. He’d committed himself to the quest even before I’d come on the scene, accepted this new Karen freely. No bribe or false pledge was as strong as his actions toward us.
Karen tickled me inside, and I laughed at the single phrase she flashed me … “Ménage a trois. “
It was true.
While I was trying to quiet The Professors rather juvenile antics, our spectral third wheel did suggest some crass jokes about Mom and Dad hearing. After that, there was no stopping an outburst of rowdy giggles, followed by a noisy thump as he crash landed on me.
Kid in a candy store couldn’t quite cover this spontaneous release from him, but it left me gasping with unbridled lust even as I thought of those grad school girls.
Somehow I couldn’t imagine anything but ‘Business As Usual. ‘ with them, a rhythmic rote reasoned out through prescience knowledge of sex.
With us; and the uncertainty of the moment, our lovemaking was a novel act never to be recreated in exactly the same way. In short, the moment was ours alone, and I could see that he appreciated it even more than I did.
“If you two are done with your girl-time? “ chuckled The Professor knowingly as he came in, freshly showered and looking very satisfied in his terrycloth robe. “I believe the folks have breakfast ready? “
“Unless you want to have breakfast in bed? “ I suggested with a hopeful little girl voice, to which he shook his head gravely.
“Good Gods! I’ve created a monster! “
However tempted he seemed by the offer, I was handed a silken gown which I reluctantly threw over my naked form.
He did give a playful slap to my ass, if only to get me moving toward the bathroom.
With a come-hither glance over my shoulder, I tried again to get him interested but Prof only grinned. “Get cleaned up, you. “
I pursed my unmade lips prettily and considered the shower head briefly. Ultimately I settled for simple hygiene, though there were tentative plans for tonight which included romantic payback …
“Wow. “ Daniel announced as I came into the kitchen, the smell of cinnamon coffee tingling my other senses while Mom cocked a speculative eye at her fresh daughter. “You look like you had a good night, Princess. “
Gale choked on her Orange Juice while The Professor reddened in polite embarrassment.
“A Good Nights Sleep. “
“I did. “ I answered, pausing to give him a peck on the cheek for his tactful correction. “Thanks, Dad. “
And you’re lucky you got down here when you did. “ Mother suggested as I snuck up behind my man to casually drape my arms around him. “Breakfast was fast on its way to becoming Lunch. “
“Well, it smells good in any case. “ I gave The Professor a quick kiss before grabbing a cup for myself. “So what’s on the agenda for today? “
“I think you’re going to like it. “ He teased, covetously eying his lady as I dug into the meal with inelegant abandon.
Glancing over a forkful of scrambled eggs at Gail, she acted the innocent to my quizzical look, as if to say ‘He’s your man … you figure it out. ‘
“You two go on then. “ Dad intervened somewhat sagely, as frustratingly oblique; if that was even possible, as my other favorite male. “Your mother and I will catch up around two? Prof knows where. “
“But where are we going? “ I demanded, wondering whether to be amused or nervous.
Whichever, I had a feeling of venturing into uncharted territory … for the both of us. “You’ll see. “ he repeated, helping me on with my coat.
I drove, of course, following his directions to a very familiar place, some fifteen mile east of the family homestead.
Many a Christmas, Dad took us out to Dilbert Tree Farm to select a fur, up until I’d left for college. But just what was The Professor up to?
“We already have a tree, hon. “I started to correct him, but was stopped short by Karen who remarked abstractly about my big mouth.
All at once I sensed a motif, full circle back to Pan’s Sanctuary.
You probably guessed the answer by now, wondering at this particularly dense reporter. As former man; now woman, I’d always been slow where matters of the heart were concerned.
I mulled over the options even as The Prof arranged for a flatbed ride into the grove. I’m not even sure that Karen got it, save for an inaudible murmur as we rattled along the rows.
It was only when he signaled for the driver to stop that I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, several nearby customers looking on in bemusement.
If he’d been any other man, I would’ve expected him to get down on one knee, but The Professor merely took my hand and opened it, palm up.
I have to admit I was dizzy in that moment, in a way I never expected nor could quite cope with, staring blankly at the ring of sliver and gold.
“My Companion, My Lady. “ he spoke with a gentleness unlike before.
As with that night we danced, he treated me as an equal, and this time perhaps someone better than he …
“Before witnesses, before The Lady and Her Consort, I humbly ask for your consent in matrimony. I’ve already pledged myself to you in principle, let me reaffirm that vow aloud for all to hear. Would you allow me to walk beside you for the rest of my life? “
“What is this? “ I answered abruptly, embarrassed, happy, upset and confused. “I mean, I know what this is, but what is this ring? “
“You’ve heard of a Claddagh Ring? “ he explained, trying to glean something from my nonplussed expression. “It’s a Celtic thing, a friendship bond. Well, this is something a bit stronger. It’s like an Unbreakable Bond between us. “
I missed the pop culture reference until Karen flashed it to me while our beau stood expectant, waiting for some clear response from his prospective bride.
I handled the ring gingerly, deftly fingering the entwined floral loops like a conjurers prop. “You’re honestly serious about this? “
“Always. “ Prof chuckled with a cautious optimism. “With everything pushing toward this moment, I couldn’t imagine facing the blind future without you. What do you think? “
“And what about my mission? “ I shoot back nervously, hushing faint protests from my psychic sister. “It was never about my personal happiness, was it? It was about bringing someone back in full, not some ghost to rattle chains at the periphery. “
“You can’t believe that, Karen. “ he protested, confused by this stubborn girl before him. “That you’ve come so far in such a short amount of time is amazing. But don’t you think you’re confusing your desires with those of a man named Kolchak? The man who they buried? The Gods … “
“Whom you aren’t exactly on speaking terms with these days. “
“I know. “ his calm retort belied the hurt in those handsome eyes, reminding me that mine was not the only obligation on the table. “And I know what I said to you about living your life in full. That was from them, and it included the possibility of Love. “
“And I do love you, damn it. “ I said, calmer though no less unsure. “But Marriage?
"I’d marry you in a heartbeat, if it were my own choice, Professor. What if something were to go wrong after that? … if I were to lose her again? What kind of a wife could I be to you then? “
“If you must wait, then wear my token anyway. “
He placed the well fitted ring on my finger, with the heart symbols turned outward.
“This frees you from commitment to me, but allows you to remain open. My soul remains always your servant. But you’ll let me give you one more bit of advice? “
“Always. “
“There are other people to guide you in making the right choice, like your mother and father. Or … perhaps someone even closer? “
I kissed him hard, ever stuck in indecision as Karen remained silent.
I winced at the uncomfortable stillness within, hoping against hope that she was simply being a bitch.
But while we left our disappointed audience behind to meet up with the parents, I couldn’t leave my fears behind as well.
“She said ‘Yes.’ … or not? “ Daniel announced with our arrival to late lunch at the small bistro. The Professor smiled gamely to hid his own uncertainty in the face of my refusal.
“ She said ‘Maybe. ‘ “ he laughed tightly, moving his chair closer to mine, though whether to reassure me or himself I didn‘t know. “But there’s Hope. “
“Always that. “ Gail confirmed, recognizing something familiar in my nervous eyes. “Especially when you have family to keep you from making foolish choices. “
Facing this impending double-team, with Daniel as referee, I took the path of worst resistance, slyly diverting any possible counsel with some fairly lame jokes.
Through a generally ambivalent day of shopping, ending with the quietest dinner in family history, I stuck firmly to my guns.
By bedtime, however, I did open up; in the erotic sense, giving in to several exciting rounds of ‘Not Really Making Up. ‘ sex which at least shelved my concerns for the night. But not entirely …
December 23rd, 2005
This; dear readers, is where The Weird got notably weirder, as the clock struck One with an resounding clang.
To paraphrase a popular holiday chestnut, my eyes did spring wide open to see what was the matter. Given its volume, I was greatly surprised to find the rest of the household unaffected by this shocking noise.
Under any other conditions, the soft unobtrusive patter of snow on the roof, the low buzz of a quiet transformer down the street, all else would’ve seemed frustratingly normal.
All, that is, save for an amorphous pink shimmer at the foot of my bed. When it gained some solidity …
“Did you really expect anyone else? “ Karen Foster Klein asked with straight faced merriment, an ill-hid twinkle to those bright eyes. “At least that’s what I gather from this exercise in self pity. “
Janus ReGen couldn’t have done a better job with the decidedly non-spectral figure, adorned as she was in her festive best.
Karen wore a scarlet sweater dress with a wide black belt about her waist. A dark burgundy half jacket offset the ensemble as did the suede calf high winter boots. Her lush shoulder length hair was highlighted with a sprig of Holly tucked neatly over one ear.
“So this is about my reclamation? “ I asked casually as she extended her palm.
“More about giving you a stern talking to. Maybe a slap upside your head. “ she countered, giving me a tug to get me moving
“Honestly, I was thinking of your welfare. “ I protested, unaware of my nakedness until Karen deftly tossed me a pair of sweats.
“Liar. “ she scolded. “You were afraid, admit it. Afraid of losing all this good stuff, afraid of being truly loved after too many years of macho bullshit. “
“Pretty selfish, huh? Carl is a hard man to kill. “
“Because while he’s dead in flesh, he’s less so in memory. “ Karen explained, leading me toward the door. “But isn’t that the way we want it to be? “
“And this is the point where we revisit my past, show me the error of my ways? “ I half teased, sparing a glance toward my love, still in peaceful slumber.
My doppelganger chortled with Christmas sarcasm as we went into the hallway.
“Wrong again, my adorable but thick headed twin. I just thought we could talk better out here. Our poor Prof needs his sleep after the grief you put him through. “ she scolded as we went downstairs and into the kitchen.
I rustled about in the cupboards for some cocoa, amused by Karen’s soft refusal of a cup.
“In any case, the past is past, and besides all that, his life is no longer yours. “
“Because I’m you? “ I said again, amazed to feel the flat of her hand as it hit my forehead.
“Well, duh. How many people have tell you that before you truly believe it?
"You answered your own question long before now, when that stud muffin of a boy seduced you. We are me. “ Karen chastised me with sisterly aggravation.
“Not quite together on this, but whose fault is that? “
“I’m guessing that the correct answer is ’Me.’ “ I responded with much chagrin. “So I should just marry The Professor? Do you love him that much? “
Karen let slip an evil grin, making her even more beautiful than I knew we were.
I remembered when I first went to see him, on the behest of Jillian Crane. Oh, despite my best attempt at journalistic integrity, I was so ready to let him take me, right there in his office … “Honest Injun? “
“Hell, yah, sister of mine. “ she admitted freely. “He’s not William, not Arthur, or even that rather nice detective you meet in Chicago … “
“I think I get the point. “
“I think you finally do, young lady. “ the foxy phantasm agreed, taking my hands in hers before deftly stealing a sip of my chocolate.
“Hey! Are you real? I mean Really? “ I gasped.
“As real as you. “ she rejoined playfully, giving me a kiss on the tip of my upturned nose. “Or is that the reverse? But for now, please get off your high horse, sister of mine.
"Let’s put it another way. Go back to bed, climb aboard that wonderful man of ours, say ’Yes.’ already, and then thank him properly. “
“Advice for the ages. “ I retorted impishly before realizing I was talking to thin air.
That must have been the most vivid dream I’d ever experienced, full 3-D and Surround Sound. But in the end, I was simply having a conversation with myself.
Or so I thought, until I saw two different shades of lipstick on the cup …
Prof was half roused by my less than subtle attempt to slip quietly into bed.
“You’re up? What? Everything OK? “ he mumbled protectively.
I felt as giddy as a schoolgirl as I took Karens advice literally, straddling my nude knight which brought him instantly erect.
“You have my full attention now. “ he gasped as I pressed against him, our joyful release as pure as the newly fallen snow. “You had an epiphany, Did you? “
“I expect a lot more than that from you. “ I cooed. “But first, I want to show you something. “
I took the ring off, making sure he was paying attention with a pointed wiggle of my digits.
“I believe this is the proper way to wear this. “ I happily told him, slipping it back on the correct finger, the sudden glow on his ageless face all the confirmation I needed. Well … not all.
December 24th, 2005
And so; dear readers, for all of you who’ve stuck with this narrative from the start, I’ll spare you the more saccharine details of our final reconciliation.
Let’s just say that while Karen returned to her place within me, the line between our split consciousness’ was all but gone. Her life was mine in full.
With The Professor and I, we were as endearing and annoying as any betrothed couple; perhaps more so from Gails perspective.
Daniel, wisely it seemed, stayed supportive in his loving neutrality, the ideal Father to this blushing future bride.
There was one tiny niggling concern left, however, even after I’d called my friends and e-mailed associates with the good news. But after a few wonderful days of pre-Christmas cheer, Dad gone off to properly break in the new son in law, Gail invited me out for an early eves stroll.
“So. Now that the proposal is properly behind us, the real nightmare begins. “ she stated with dedicated severity, belied by the softest squeeze of my fingertips. “The worst a mother can imagine, the wedding plans. “
“Well. “ I chuckled contritely. “While Prof’s willing to do Spring, he believes that Late Summer would be even better. I think we have time. “
“That’s another thing. “ Mom interjected, at which point I pitched a fit.
With some distress showing on Moms face, I waved her back until I caught my breath.
“It’s fine, mom. It’s just something The Professor mentioned a short while ago. “ I gasped in a gleeful voice.
“I was just wondering … “ she tried again, giving me that stern look which only a parent could. “If at some point before the ceremony … we might find out his real name? “
“Uh, even his closest associates aren’t sure. “ I soothed, ineffectually it would seem. “They’ve been calling him by that other title for all their lives. “
“However long that‘s been. “ she groused before grinning with familial mischief.
“Ah, I could just see the invitations now. ‘Daniel and Gail Klein, invite you to the wedding of their daughter Karen and her groom, The Professor. ‘ Mr. and Mrs. Professor, Karen Foster Professor, nee Klein. That’s for your business cards, of course. “
Mom, it’s not that terrible. “ she had me laughing again, and I knew I’d been had. “Or if you’re lucky, that’s the worst … “
She placed a warning finger upon my mouth before further silencing them with a strong kiss.
I truly realized how little left there was of old Kolchak in that split second, impulsively pulling back while Gail flashed me a Cheshire Grin. If this had happened only a few weeks earlier …
“So what are your thoughts on the venue? “ she requested without missing a beat, as in those eyes I saw deep gratitude for the Christmas Gift her former love had given her.
“Oh, I thought we’d just run off to Vegas. “ I retorted.
“Maybe Prof and I could get married in the Temple of The King? Though I’m not a big fan of rhinestones … “
“You never were. “ that quick comeback was definitely not meant for Karen, as Gail reddened quickly. She concluded the thought with … ”Besides, I have another idea about that. Perhaps we might have the Bachelorette Party there? “
“Mom, you’re a genius. “ I gushed happily, feeling a certain symmetry emerge, even as Karen quite vocally endorsed the plan.
‘Exordium Requiro An Terminus.’ indeed. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. “
December 28th, 2005
Cleveland, Ohio
And so we three women plan the future, our respective paths joined as I hope my ghostly sister and I soon will be. I’d felt The Gods were beyond kind with their tokens, that Karen Foster Klein would inherit a life even more enriched than when she left us.
Perhaps Kolchak had also been able to revisit his own abandoned desires, fulfill them in ways he couldn’t have dreamed of.
But still, I knew one thing for sure. That when that other life is reduced to the fond recollections of a young woman, the crusty old reporter will quite gladly face the void with a happy heart, eager to explore whatever lies beyond.
Soon To Be The End.
KOLCHAK: THE NYLON STALKER.
(Based upon characters created by Jeff Rice. )
By Way Zim.
FINALE; WINKING OUT IN VEGAS.
August 4th, 2006
Cleveland, Ohio
Karen Foster Klein’s Journal;
Let it be said it from the start, ‘I’ll miss that sweet old bastard. ‘
Thanks to him, I’m stunning in my wedding dress, still waiting for Mom to fix her raccoon eyes before helping with my makeup.
While handing her another tissue, I can’t help but smile, thinking about Carl Kolchak’s unintended contribution to this happy day.
“Something Old, Something New. “
An Old Man who’d stepped into Something … or Someone, after an unfortunate act of Good Intent on my part, June of last year.
But even as I; reportedly with no real recollection of my own demise, had fallen into an infinite void … Poor Carl had been thrust rudely into a shell of my former self.
While he’d clearly been confused and guilt ridden, still the man felt determined to create something New.
“Something Borrowed. “
He could have gone the way of many a ‘Body Snatcher ‘, in both Film and Fiction, using this female figure for selfish reasons.
Instead; from my soon to be husband’s reports, Carl went on to live the life I was meant to.
At least he’d given it that ‘Old College Try. ‘ which endears him even more in my still foggy memories.
I suppose that for some, I owe them a reasonable explanation, as to what part Carl had played in my eventual resurrection. But as much as credit is due, I’m still at a loss on how exactly to go about it.
“Something Blue. “
I want everyone to know that I love my father, dearly.
Yet I almost feel that Kolchak; in letting slip the hold he had on my annexed anatomy, had acted as a de-facto substitute. He’d given me away to a man, as seduced by his quality as that which I allegedly possess, and this future he bought us will be bright indeed. I’m sure of it.
Still, just struggling to remember what I can about our adventures … Damn it! Now we have two women in need of a serious makeover. But this smudged mascara is a Good, as it serves to remind me of where I am and who ultimately got me here.
A Note To Self, and any Potential Reader;
The bulk of this text is, in effect, the last testament of Carl Kolchak, dedicated journalist and truth seeker.
While I diligently edited some observations ( made just before the cross-over occurred. ) it’s his voice which narrates most of our Las Vegas adventure, on about the 12th through to the 17th of May.
May 11th, 2006.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Karen Klein’s Journal;
It was a night and day before my Bachelorette party in Sin City, standing just outside the airport security zone with my fiancé. Gail was saying her goodbyes to her husband, while I was still practicing.
For his part in this affair, Prof seemed as bemused as I was with this whole couples thing, for which he had my eternal gratitude.
If things had been weirder before, the months of normalcy which followed our betrothal in December were downright insane by comparison.
OK, that’s not exactly true, as almost a year ago I was another person - in fact, another sex.
A very old man who; through an otherworldly set of circumstances, was reborn into the body of a former girlfriends’ daughter.
But since then I’d vowed to live her life well, in the hopes of reviving that tiny spark of memory, which the Gods preserved within this reconstituted form.
This included the possibility of Love, though when it came it still shocked the hell out of this girl. My helper, my savior, The Professor, turned out to be Mr. Right after all.
He’d been there for Karen, even before she’d met me.
When Carl Kolchak eventually came to this rather randy mythologist; for help in being the best girl he could - well - this is how that ended.
I’m not complaining, on the contrary I’ve never been happier.
Nothing could have given me greater joy, until Gail, or as I’ve been calling her these days; Mom, revealed that she finally recognized the man behind these bright hazel eyes.
It was a strange sort of Mother-Daughter bonding experience, and yet it only strengthened my resolve to see this quest through to the end.
As for this spirit sister within our shared consciousness, she’d grown considerably since that rather vivid haunting during the past Christmas Season.
For the present I still had control, but Karen usually figured on having the Last Word. Like now.
“Get A Room, You Two. “
“If you don’t mind missing your own party, sister of mine. “ I silently joshed my psychic sibling, wondering if the warmth I felt was from her or the firm manly hand at my back.
“That’s more for you and mom. I‘m just along for the ride. “ Karen challenged rudely.
It shocked me enough that our fiancé paused in his dedicated kissing, gazing quizzically into my soft eyes.
“Girl Trouble? “
“Something like that. “ I answered curtly, giving his fingers a loving squeeze, as inwardly I abstractly cocked an allegorical brow at her. ‘But it’ll be fine, once we get to Las Vegas. “
‘Speaking of which, “ Daniel cut in as he and Mom came up, holding hands like a couple of lovey-dovey teens. “You ladies should get going. Have fun, Princess, and I’ll make sure Prof’s kept busy until you get back. “
“Perfect. “ chuckled The Professor, before I flashed him a No Nonsense look which would’ve done Gail proud. Somehow; despite my dubious pedigreed, the goddess in me was coming out. She was wearing stiletto heels.
Passing through the gate, I wondered if my still emergent twin was capable of being on the rag.
It was just that; despite the amazing progress she’d made, we were far from equal. I think Karen was feeling somewhat frustrated.
My own slightly morose musings was interrupted by the conspicuous buzzing of my cell, to which a few less than cordial old ladies glared at me as if I’d insulted their grandkids.
I blushed, automatically switching over to Vibrate even as I checked the ID.
It was my editor.
“Dorothy? “ I answered huffily, channeling Bridezilla as I realized where she was calling from … “Why are you in your office? Aren’t you suppose to be catching a plane about now? “
Dorothy Weller, editor extraordinaire with the syndicate which handled my columns, chuckled at this girls pouting tone.
Apparently she’d gone down this road herself; Twice - in point of fact. The second time being the clincher that she liked the Single Life better. But still she readily agreed to serve as one of my maids …
“I’m taking a later flight, hon. “ the less than matronly 44 year old responded with some annoyance, though not at her best girl. “I’ve been stuck doing a little house-cleaning here.
“Do you recall those couple articles I asked you for? The restaurant pieces? “
“Ah, those. “ I chuckled, giving a mocking expression to Gail over this long distance Hen-Peck from Dorothy.
The restaurant expose was her idea of squaring the books between us, before we went off on this little shindig.
It should’ve been a simple assignment; covering several local eateries which remained in operation, despite numerous citations against them.
Where someone else would’ve simply recycled old reports about payola to certain unnamed public officials, I reverted to old habits … Kolchak’s old habits, that is.
In digging a bit deeper, I discovered a cooperative anonymous source to confirm a smoking gun.
It concerned a mid level mob boss whose ambitions weren’t as great as his rather kinky pastimes.
As frightening a figure as he wished to be, let’s just say that Miles Albert Kern sometimes wanted to be punished; like the bad little girl he was …
“As much as I could pass by our lawyers, I let that rather flippant comment at the end stand. “ Dorothy told me.
“But evidently, all the circumstantial evidence about Graft and Money Laundering; none was as damaging as the suggestion that - ‘ In Lieu of mild litigious scolding by the Chicago courts, perhaps all Lil Millie needs is to be taken across his mothers knee. ‘ "
‘I’ve done worse to less deserving people. “ I protested impishly, rather pleased that she’d allowed as much as she had.
This largely uncontested trust between the two women, had given me more leeway than I’d ever had as Kolchak. “So, what’s the problem? “
“There might not be a problem, but for some scuttlebutt which a few friends within the FBI dropped on me. Miles apparently decided that now was the time to take a vacation … “
“Well, good for him. “ I interrupted as Gail let me know our flight had just been called. “Maybe some time in the sun will ease that temper of his … “
“You don’t think the timing is too coincidental, Hon? “ Dorothy shot back, mild worry underlying her usual laidback manner. “Miles does have a connection with Las Vegas, after-all. “
“And a place in the Caymans, a small condo in Miami … don’t worry so much, Dorothy. “ I encouraged her while handing over my boarding pass to the waiting attendant.
“I’m sure it’ll all blow over and I don’t want you missing any of the festivities because of this. Ok? “
“I’ll be there with bells on, then. “ she relented before my forceful enthusiasm, manufactured though it might have been.
In the back of my mind, even Karen couldn’t bring herself to believe that a blowhard like Miles would come after us. Not for a slight so off the cuff, it probably didn’t even register with most of my readership.
For the bulk of the flight, as I was distracted by Mom’s babble about my last rite of single hood, Most of Dorothy’s unease was all but forgotten.
May 12th, 2006
Las Vegas, Nevada.
Through the maddening bustle at McCarran International Airport, I easily spotted the brightly colored placard and its holder, a wickedly pleased Tanya Landers.
With her Cheshire smile, my former college cohort pointed a finger down at the bold pink and purple script which read - ‘Karen Foster Klein, A Lucky Witch At Last. ‘
“Your ship finally came in, I see. “ she taunted me; on the heels of a serious hug which left her best friend gasping.
A less damaging one was reserved for Gail as I countered playfully. “And you as well. I didn’t think Amore del Mare sailed this far inland. “
“You’d be surprised. “ Tanya laughed, taking both our arms as she lead us toward the exit. “No, don’t worry about your luggage. I asked Mario to collect it. He’s likely putting it in the limo even now … “
“A Limo … You’ve been busy. “ I quipped while the Public Relations agent made it out as no big deal.
“Just part of The Service, sister. You think your Maid of Honor would do anything less for her best girl? Nothing but Style for the next four days, so loosen your corset. It’s gonna be a wild ride. “
I wouldn’t have figured Tanya to be The Mistress of Understatement, as in our distracted reverie we nearly collided with a couple loiters at curbside. Just two guys in loud shirts who I barely considered as we made our apologies.
“Don’t sweat it, lady. “ said the older man with a crooked little smirk. “You just go on … enjoy your party. “
Fans of Hindsight would be quick to note here, that after all I’d been through, one would’ve thought …
Of course ‘All I’d been through. ‘ was hardly your average reporters lot, so perhaps when confronted by something so obscenely normal …
Or, perhaps this bride to be was just too busy trying to have fun.
It had been quite awhile for old Kolchak, more than thirty years since he’d left Sin City behind him.
But what a difference three decades had made in the old whore, once just a few gaudy palaces plopped down amidst the dunes.
The age of the mobster, and those rat pack vagabonds who gave the girl some shine, all that was gone, replaced by a far more glitzier yet darker force … The Corporate Entity.
However jaded Carl had become in the face of all this High-Tech Extravagance, this girl was more than happy to sink back into the plush seating of our stretched Hummer, even as Tanya popped a bottle of Bubbly.
“So, where are we going again? “
“Only the hottest spot on the strip. “ she gushed. “The Montecito? I know The Host and she cut us a special deal. But that’s not for you to worry about. I called in a bag load of favors, several left over from last July.
“Let’s just say that Amore del Mare has been very good to me. “
I had no doubt about that, having seen our Ms. Landers in action after that trouble aboard Amore del Mare II.
But the exact nature of her deal with the owners? My loyalty and her confidentiality clause prevented me from questioning her too closely about that.
We arrived in good time at this great burnished Shrine.
At odd angles to either side of its unconventional façade, The Montecito sported two wings which housed the tide of High and Low Rollers, who kept this resort afloat.
We clambered out of our ride as gawking tourists, even old hands like Gail and I, our very young and quite fit driver conversing with a stylish young black man.
Though his smooth dome was as polished as a billiard ball, the concierge worked it with a laidback confidence which definitely caught this woman’s eye.
Tanya knew him, and why not? Giving him a now patented Landers embrace.
“Mike! It’s been way too long, stud! What are you doing? Slumming?“
“Ms. Landers … Oomph! “ he exhaled cheerfully, happily bowled over by her greeting.
“Nah. Just helping out in a pinch. But how about you? What’s this? Shore Leave? Brought me back some sexy mermaids, did you? “
“Ladies, “ she laughed. “I’d like you to meet Mike Cannon. He used to be the best valet on the strip until they bumped him upstairs. Now he’s keeping a watchful eye over us in Security. “
‘I feel Safer already. “ I chuckled. “I’m Karen Klein, the victim of this Bachelorette Party. Too Bad for the both of us, I’m sure. “
“Karen Klein … Karen Klein. You’re that reporter? “ he responded with congenial interest. “You do Consumer Pieces? “
“Don’t worry, Mr. Cannon. “ I returned, mocking his own feigned alarm. “I’m sure the services here are beyond contest … aren’t they? “
“As in my case, absolutely. “ Mike assured me, though as an aside he couldn’t help but poke fun at fellow employees. “For the rest, well, you’ll have to talk to Sam about that.
“She just got word that you ladies arrived and is waiting to greet you. Would you like me to show you the way? “
“I would, but it looks like you got your hands full here. “ Tanya said, following up with a polite peck on his cheek. “Maybe if we both get some free time, you’ll want to catch up? “
“Absolutely. “ he answered, blushing shyly which made him even cuter. “But in any case, Welcome to Vegas! “
I couldn’t help but chortle at the oddity of that sentiment, since last time I’d been made less than Welcome by certain persons. Gale had a similar expression on her face, thinking the same thing as I, even as she idly took my out stretched hand …
Thankfully, our fellow sister was oblivious to this little secret we kept, though I did feel guilty about that.
Just a little bit - But she was Happy in her element, and as we entered the grand lobby Tanya squealed with girlish glee; which seemed than usual for my enthused girlfriend.
When we were introduced to an insanely sexy brunette with dark mischievous eyes … well … perhaps such exuberance was indeed the right response.
“I’m Samantha Marquez, Ladies. “ she greeted us with a polished familiarity which recalled Jacob Emerson Kane. This gal, however, made it sound a lot more sincere. “But for the rest of your stay, just call me ‘Sam. ‘ Uh Kay? “
“Sam, I can’t say how much I appreciate this … “
“Uh huh, “ interrupted our hostess, switching gears in a flash as she turned all business. “So, while maybe you want to get to it, let’s talk ‘Turkey.’ shall we?
“Tanya … Honey. Did you set up the arrangements we negotiated? For that - umm - ‘Little Excursion. ‘ my client requested? Including that ‘Special Surprise. ‘ mid-cruise? “
“You sure make things hard for this gal … “ Tanya bitched somewhat as her Casino counterpart rolled those dangerously stunning eyes.
Sam shook her head with mocking dismay. “You know I don’t want to be a Party-Pooper, but I was counting on you … “
‘You’re in, everything‘s Golden. Tell your boy not to worry, and that it’ll all be in place by the time his entourage boards. So, are we Good? “
“Oh, you are good. “ Sam giggled appreciatively, though as an afterthought. “Almost as Good as me, but … “
“You wish. “ my friend declared to her rival, noting the printout in her slender grasp. “So, is that our itinerary? “
“Yep. “ the hostess replied while I stood by with mouth agape, Karen whispering in my mind.
“You guys worked a trade? With My Party? “ my incredulous tone cut through their self congratulations.
Tanya, at least, blushed a bit while Sam only tittered evilly. “Karen … I. “
“I guess we really are in Vegas. “ I snickered, letting Tanya off the hook - much to her relief. “So let’s get this party started. “
Such was Business as Usual in Sin City.
The Bet, The Deal, The Big Gamble; both Legit & Illicit, as commonplace as Breathing.
It felt like Coming Home at long last.
“When are the rest of the girls arriving? “ Gail broke into my musings, still right beside me on my trip down memory lane.
I looked to my Maid of Honor who dutifully consulted her Blackberry.
“Both Rochelle and Natalie are coming in together. Jenny, not that far behind them, so they should all be in about 5 this afternoon. I thought that Dorothy would’ve been here by now … “
“Uh, she got delayed. Some last minute business.“ I temporized, recalling that late night conversation I’d been trying to repress. “But since the main event isn’t until tomorrow, we have time. “
“But she’ll miss all the stuff in between. “ Tanya groused, somewhat perturbed by this wrinkle to her perfect plans. “I guess I’ll have to leave a note with Reception then. “
“Well, we should check you into your suite? “ Sam intervened decisively, that sense of professional fun back in place; as if it never left. “I’ll have Mike alert your driver to the pick up times, so ya’ll can just relax. “
Believe you me, Relaxation was the first thing on my mind as our cuddly host lead us past the entrance to the casino and onward to a bank of elevators.
Even eager to simply put work behind me, I couldn’t help but notice an oddly familiar pair coming out of a nearby bar.
“Hey. “ I whispered to Tanya and Gail. “Aren’t those the two guys we bumped into at the airport? “
“Could be. “ My best gal glanced their way with deliberate casualness. “Still, it’s not unusual for people to keep bumping into each other. You think there’s a problem? “
“I don’t know, probably not. “ I told her, even as one of them began talking on his cell.
It appeared that neither were particularly inclined to notice us, and perhaps Dorothy’s warning had made me a bit skittish in spite of myself.
“Just watch your purses around them, ladies. “
Still, regardless of my reassurances, I decided not to get too complacent as Sam pressed the button for our floor.
What can I say about Tanya that I haven’t already?
Since our little cruise last year, I was impressed by her ability to deliver the goods. When our escort opened the door to our suite, we weren’t disappointed.
The room was slightly smaller than - say, a conference room.
Ok, perhaps I’m exaggerating just a bit, but this was my party and I’ll lie if I want to …
The common area was long yet still roomy, with doors at either end leading into plush bedrooms.
There was an expansive window to give us a great view of The Strip; for the moment partially obscured by a large purple swag. And everywhere was covered by mixed floral arrangements, as well as mountainous treats ...
“I know we can be a rowdy bunch, “ I quipped, eyeballing the lavishness with a queasy anticipation . “But really - Tanya, isn’t this too much for just seven of us? “
“Not for your Last Hurrah, Hon. “ she exhaled with fond exasperation. “Besides, whose to say there’re won’t be some tagalongs, after we’ve made the rounds … “
“Tanya, “ I warned her, having seen that playful twinkle before. For such an otherwise centered woman; where her libido led, well …
“As much as I appreciate the gesture, I don’t need any stray Chippendales following me Home? “
“And who said they’d be for you? “
“Consolation Prizes for the persistently single? “
“Absolutely. “ my best friend chortled, glad to see me finally feeling the fun - as Rochelle would say.
I obliged further by deftly nabbing a lush chocolate dipped strawberry off a nearby tray, seductively nibbling it down while Sam whistled approvingly.
“And here I thought you said we’d have to really work to loosen her up. “ she directed this rather saucy remark toward my Ms. Landers who simply took it in stride. “If this is uptight, by the honeymoon the poor groom won’t know what hit em. “
“Thanks for that vote of confidence. “ I said, clearing a stray glob off my right cheek with a leisurely fingertip.
“But while y’all wait to see how Karen gets her groove on, maybe we can change out of our travel duds into something less? Who’ll go first? … oh, wait. It’s me. “
Gail beamed like the proud parent she was while Sam cast a tell-tale sneer toward my best girl, as if to say “She’s your good friend, I just work here. “
Honor satisfied, I left them to their own devices while I enjoyed the amenities - a lot.
But it wasn’t simply some well-earned release before greeting the rest of our posse. I was eager for some quality time alone with the eighth member of this celebration.
As I’d come to expect, our talk was anything but average.
“Ok, sister of mine, I’m doing my best here. “
“And I’m a misery bitch, “ she admitted at long last. “I know. “
“So, spill. “ Jesus, I was even sounding like my inner voice, but the glow was fading and the frustration was palpable between us.
“I’m not sure this is working. “
“What’s not working? “ I demanded, raucous laughter coming from the other room as I fluff dried my hair. “We put so much effort into getting us even this far … “
“That’s just it. “ Karen broke in edgily, something more behind her heavy voice. “As much as I’ve tried … I just don’t think there ever was a ‘We. ‘ “
“And that big lecture about how we are each other? “ I shot back, expressly put out by this off the cuff retreat.
“You helped me through so much. More than Gail, or even The Professor. This whole exercise is about giving you your Life back … “
“Your Life, Carl. “ the matter of fact tone floored me, even while a residue of the old man appreciated her dilemma. “You’ve been living it so well for the past several months, and now you’re getting married … “
“To a man who loves you. “ I countered rather sagely, her anxiety mirroring my own doubts when first faced with his proposal. “After All, You were the reason I finally accepted, or had you forgotten? “
“I guess I did … “ she answered slowly, as if for my sake which cued me into the problem at once. “But as much as I’m still simply a ghost in the machinery … “
“As you once said to me … Liar! “
I’m sorry? “ her confused response, despite my best intentions toward this woman; my better angel, tickled another emotion within … a smug sense of payback for December.
“You heard me, sister dearest. Who’s scared now? You afraid of actually becoming more than a Greek Chorus of One? Worried that when you do, all this good stuff will be waiting for you? Worried that when it does, you’ll come up short somehow? “
“Maybe all the above. “ admitted Kay, still clutching to that tiny bit of resistance like a favorite raggedy doll.
But while we seemingly had miles to go, I wasn’t about to let her play this game without laying down my trump card.
“But the answer is; None of the Above, my heroic lady. “ I challenged, with nothing but good feelings toward my wonderful femme-phantom.
“The Truth … the reality of our relationship, fighting Janus ReGen and as soul-sisters sharing this amazing body … You don’t want to lose old Kolchak, now do you? “
“You’re right, I don’t. “ the huff was almost humorous in its appraisal of my acerbic insight.
“I’d rather just let go of myself. After all, what was it all for if neither of us gets the Happy Ever After we deserve? “
“Now hold on, kiddo. “ I paused with lipstick in hand, almost as a flourish to make the point. “That’s not quite fair. This was my mission, you know. At heart, I’m still that old reporter just trying to do the right thing at long last … “
“Nice Breasts for an old man, by the way. “ Karen remarked smartly, but the former hollowness behind the gibe was less. “Do you really think your leaving me would be in my best interest? “
“Sass, youngster. “ I chided respectfully, her stubbornness reminding me of something I‘d forgotten.
“But who’s to say I simply blink out?
“ ‘Remember.’ was what you said to me, so perhaps Fate will be kinder than we consider?
“Besides, don’t be so quick to count either of us out. As we both know, I’m not that easy to get rid of. Truth? “
“Truth. “ she conceded, perhaps feeling a glint of hope even as I felt ever the hypocrite.
It had been made fairly clear by The Gods that Success meant a return to the void for old Kolchak. What, exactly, that entailed, I didn’t know. I guessed it was nothing less than Oblivion.
“In the meantime, help me finish up here? “ I suggested, shelving these morbid thoughts before Karen got wind of them. “We don’t want to look less than stunning, do we? “
Let’s just say that when Karen and I finally rejoined them, even Gail was impressed by the image we’d concocted.
I wore a blue denim short dress with a wide curved neckline, short sleeves with decorative button cuffs and pretty gathering on the skirt. Not quite a mini, yet it showed more than enough of my slightly chunky yet still fit gams.
Beneath, I’d allowed my inner critic to suggest some soft provocative lingerie, an indigo satin demi-bra and French cut panties.
The goddess was pleased as she finished off this fashion plate with sandals which sported elevated solid heels.
My makeup was light, but when combined with the deliberately tousled mane, Spring had definitely sprung in Vegas …
“Holy Crap. “ Tanya declared. “When you finally let your hair down … “
“And I expect no less from my girls. “ I added with the tone of a bridal taskmaster. “if we’re gonna do this right, that is. “
“Well, “ Gail chuckled, giving her co-patriot a passing pat on her shoulder. “I guess we’ve been given our marching orders then. “
“You go ahead, hon. “ Ms. Landers laughed as I flopped down beside her. “Age before … You know. “
“Yes. But when one has both, when are you gonna have time to clean up, dear? “ Gail shot back from the bathroom door.
Rather than being insulted, my old friend gave a wicked grin as she declared. “I really like your mom. “
“So do I. “ I amended reverently before Karen gave me an abstract elbow.
As we awaited Gails return, the cruise line rep caught me up on some old business …
“So you want to know the latest concerning our mystery masher? Hmm?“ she ventured with some practiced annoyance toward her employers.
“Evidently, since jumping ship; quite literally, which you know, of course, he also changed venues.
“There were no reports to indicate he was continuing to harass women aboard cruise ships, sailboats, tugboats, toy boats.
“From other sources, I did hear vague references to comparable incidents in resorts like The Catskills, Atlantic City, Nashville, even some places in Florida & Texas. “
“But nothing definitive. “ I concluded, not too surprised where that was concerned.
An exercise not only in Futility toward catching this paranormal lothario, but a reflection of my initial vulnerability as a fledgling female.
I’d come that close to being debauched by this godlike Adonis, who masqueraded as a ships officer.
Instead, I was seduced by a more earthly lover, the handsome emcee of our onboard Karaoke Bar.
But rather than continue his chase of this now taken reporter, De la Croix simply chose to bed two young co-eds, recent acquaintances of mine …
“Once he came ashore, that was the end of my employers involvement. “ Tanya admitted, though none of that was her fault. “But I’m more curious as to what, if anything, you uncovered at your end. You had a source who was going to help … ? “
“I did, and I do … I said ‘I do.’ - in point of fact. “ my rather cute, if curt response, it confused my maid of honor for a second. That is until she expectedly caught my drift.
“Prof? It was him? Hon, that‘s wasn’t what I meant about pumping your informant. “
“Well, “ I chuckled. “We weren’t exactly spending all that time between the sheets. Honestly; he didn’t even try for it until the Fall. Besides, we had several other things crop up in the interim … “
“Such as? “
Oh, what indeed.
Tanya had voiced some concerns about my well-being during our half successful cruise, not knowing who was living in her best friends body at the time.
I suppose that after witnessing the dematerialization of our main suspect, it would’ve been easier to simply come clean … but I didn’t.
“Oh, that little blow up in Chicago, for instance. “
The light tone behind my words caught her off guard as she realized what I was talking about …
“That Brouhaha from October? You were involved in that? “
“As well as another case before that. Before you called about your little problem. “ I confessed. “So, it was quite a busy year for this girl … “
“To say the least. “ Gail interjected as she rejoined us, looking amazing; with little effort as always, in a simple pastel sundress.
Sexy, if somewhat straight line, to diminish her agreeably full figure, the soft vertical swirls of forest green against the dove white was almost retro mod.
Although she was no longer that young woman of Kolchak’s memory, Gail Klein was still one gorgeous gal.
“Uh, yah. “ I opened both my hazel eyes wide in girlish exasperation, as if to say ‘Not Now, Mother. ‘
“But this isn’t the time to rehash all that, is it? “
“Well, dear. “ a smooth yet commanding voice ventured drolly from the doorway. “Maybe after a few drinks, you’ll feel differently about that … “
“Perhaps, “ my pleasant counter less mocking than with the others. “but I don’t see any bells on, Dorothy. “
“I was in a bit of a rush, you may have guessed. “ she answered, that mature emerald gaze looking me up and down in deliberate critique. “Fortunately I was able hitch a ride with a friend, who just happened to have a junket in your neck of the woods. “
‘Speaking of strange bedfellows. “ I remarked, all the while Karen feeding me some interesting data; as plump as our strawberries, from before I was reborn. “Did you tell the Congressman I said Hi? “
“Sass, kiddo. “ Dorothy warned, though the deep blush undercut her severe rebuke. “Besides, those accusations were shown to libelous, as you damn well know! “
“And I’m guessing, from that little number you have on, he was just saying Thanks. “
“Just Shut Up and give me a drink. “ groused my boss. “And for your information, everything was aboveboard and above the table. “
“More the Pity. Is Wine Ok?“ I quipped cheerfully, making a peace offering of the crystal glass.
The older woman smoothed down the slightly askew beige satin blouse, her deep brown fluted skirt also less than pressed. Her intense stare awaited a sly comment, but eventually just took the glass with a resigned humph.
Karen and I understood that anything between Dorothy; and whatever man caught her eye, she never allowed that to get in the way of her job. Perhaps having been twice bitten, it allowed this proud woman to draw a clear line between Passion and Professionalism.
Still, powerful women oft times attracted some seriously controversial men …
“So, I suppose I should pace myself. “ she muttered dryly, already working on her third drink.
I touched her arm in support. “You do whatever feels right. This is everyone’s party as much as mine. “
“Then I better pace myself. “
“At least until the rest of the gang arrives. “ Tanya advised, though she too was sampling another glass while Gail adopted a somewhat tolerant attitude. It seemed that our little gathering was fast becoming a less than sober affair …
Still, even with moderation fast flying out the window, we managed to keep some decorum as both Dorothy and Gail broke my moratorium, giving our Ms. Landers an account of Janus and Chicago.
If anything, Tanya did a good job of hiding her surprise, even as the phone rang.
I covered my annoyance with both Boss and Mother, deftly nabbing the receiver from its cradle before the third ring. But by the end of the short conversation, it was all smiles at this end.
It was Sam, letting us know that Jenny and the girls were on their way up …
I think that Jenny Weston was mildly nonplused by my invite, as we’d only communicated on and off through the occasional e-mail and Christmas cards. But I’d felt strongly that the elder retiree had done so much to center this confused reporter.
She helped her; among other things, to find her grove with William.
“James let you come alone? “ Tanya observed, delighted that Jen was hardly fazed one bit as she declared. “I think he was rather glad to get me out of the house. There were some bad habits he’d been missing out on lately. “
Our two college kids gawked somewhat at the rather urbane banter.
Little red headed Rochelle; our psychology major, caught up in good time, giggling appreciatively while tall Natalie frowned.
Thankfully, both girls were over 21; Rochelle just recently so we had an extra incentive to go a bit wild.
Natalie had a few years more under her belt, wearing a dour tude which lessened with a few choice nudges from her best friend.
It was partially a lingering grudge against me, since I’d inadvertently turned De la Croix onto her cabin-mates, which got them both seriously laid.
Rochelle and Carla were not injured by their enthralled threesome, but left somewhat red-faced after the euphoric affects wore off. Natalie remained pissed at me for several days, unbending only to Jenny’s calm mediations.
“Since today’s fairly casual, I’d like to schedule some time to catch up with an old friend. “ Gail requested of our party planner. “If you’re all willing to tag along, that is. “
“I think that’d be great … Mom. “ I gushed, perhaps too excitedly for her like. “There’s a lot of old History here … so you told me. It’d be fun to see where it was made. “
“If we could have some dinner first. “ Mrs. Weston requested substantively. “I’d like something more than airplane fare in my stomach. “
“I think I know just the place. “ our Ms. Landers ventured knowingly …
When Tanya said Style, she wasn’t kidding as our party was seated in a Montecito restaurant named, I kid you not, Wolfgang’s.
Yep, that Wolfgang. In fact we even caught a brief glimpse of the man himself: just passing through, who we admired from afar.
Gail, Jenny, and Tanya were amused by my menu selection, a seared sesame crusted salmon produced with great flourish and no lack of irony.
But unlike the similar fare aboard my metaphoric maiden voyage, I blithely dug into the meal, guiltless and with gusto, indulging instead in a rather nice Rosé.
‘What? “ I asked innocently, giving them an arched brow until my two former shipmates simply shrugged their shoulders.
It was a moment of transition I’d yet to recognize, until much later. It was as if all misunderstandings had finally been shoved aside, The Goddess in full bloom. But as a comic book icon once remarked, ’ With Such Power comes Great Responsibility. ‘ …
August 4th
An Addendum;
It is perhaps obvious that this was not the moment I mentioned, but perhaps the beginnings of that tipping point where Parity was given form. Despite all of Carl’s assurances, if my awareness had really been all he made it out to be -
But Hindsight has its own pitfalls, and I won’t besmirch his literal manifestation of this cliché, or the ultimate sacrifice which resulted from it.
As it was, by now, he played off this alter ego so effortlessly that any lingering division was rendered moot.
May 12th, 2006
Mario gave each of us an encouraging wink and a wide grin as the gang tumbled into the back of our ride.
The younger girls clearly couldn’t get enough, while Jenny quietly sampled some of the Champagne we’d left from earlier. She and Mom took a quick shine to each other, gossiping like age old friends.
Likewise, Tanya reciprocated with Dorothy by telling her of our shipboard adventures last July.
Our mobile party was in full swing around me, yet I was still distracted as Mario took us along Eastern Avenue into the heart of the Vegas Strip.
I was caught up in Kolchak’s old recollections of Las Vegas, scarcely the eternal flame of fond memories.
It had, however, shown me the extent of his talent for survival, as this sand encircled Mecca had for so many lost souls before mine.
Gazing out upon the seriously overdeveloped main drag, Karen was bemused by this game I played as I counted what wasn’t there.
If he’d expected a huge turnover after all this time, Kolchak would’ve been surprised.
It appeared that while many old businesses returned to dust; courtesy of the demolitionists’ toggle, many more had simply been absorbed into the upgraded infrastructure.
Others, like the Still Iconic Fremont St, had become a roofed high tech experience, a laser enhanced homage to the old girl. As for the once equally emblematic Pioneer Casino? A souvenir shop …
In the meanwhile, with regards to my inner sister, I adroitly amended what she knew of her mother’s past, guaranteed to make any daughter blush.
Gail Foster, one hundred and one pounds of unabashed blonde charm and calculated innocence.
Kolchak had really believed that, and for the most part it was true.
But Hell - even that perennial icon of playful perversion, Bettie Page, approached her craft with a spirit as pure as St Joan.
His girl hadn’t gone quite as far as Ms. Page, but her rise to the mid-ranks of the Vegas Food Chain had spawned some interesting connections.
Before her job as a hostess in one of the smaller casinos on the strip, Gail had shown a little skin in a now extinct girly show. It was largely forgotten, save for a fellow dancer; now stage madam, Paula Lockwood …
Burlesque was one of the oldest public forums of seduction in history. Traditionally a risqué variety show, it was a playful wink n a nod before the more caustic degradation of sex these days.
Perhaps even Salome of old would’ve been hard pressed to compete against the more extreme displays of public pudenda.
Still, the old art form refused to die out, recycling phoenix-like as an eccentric old aunt, resplendent in all her G-String Glory.
A proud member of the old guard: though it had been well over fifteen years since she’d hung up her Pasties, Paula still worked the backstage of Westwards Gold Strike Cabaret like a Grand Dame.
“I can’t believe this. “ mocked Paula, looking every inch a Tracy Ullman character with her bluish pink pageboy cut, though somewhat more fashionable in her pearl-white peasant blouse and trim slacks.
“All these years gone by and you just now come for a visit. What’s that about? “
“Well, I was run out of town on a rail … you might recall. “ Gail offered obligingly, as Rochelle examined with studious interest, the bare breasted bevy returning from the evening’s first number.
Most ignored her, though some idly appraised the slim co-ed in her Black & White checker print halter dress.
Tanya seemed apart from all of this somehow.
Perhaps her own career contributed to the woman’s indifference, maybe not.
She did cast a speculative glance toward her best friend, though I couldn’t be sure what was on her mind.
‘Oh, that’s right. “ Paula feigned forgetfulness, memory and instinct sharp as always as she caught one of her girls by the arm.
“Less pelvis, Julia. We wanna keep the marks coming back, not all over our nice clean floors. Try to pretend this is a classy show. “
“So, “ she refocused on her old friend. “I do remember that you’d taken up with some scruffy reporter.
“I always figured you’d end up bonking a movie star, or even some politician … but a reporter? Wasn’t he a loose cannon? always getting into trouble with the wrong people? “
In this bit of info, my editor; the ever indomitable Ms. Weller, seemed particularly interested.
Perhaps it explained something of our character, Karens that is, which she’d never considered before.
“To say the least. “ my mother/Carl’s lover spared me an ironic look, even while her friend realized what it was that Gail was referring to …
“Those killings back in the 70‘s! and there was a rumor the guy doing it was some kind of - “
“Monster, yah. “
“And you got caught up in all that? Poor Dear. “ the older woman soothed before turning to sly chastisement. “Still, a long time to hold a grudge, Honey. “
“You’re right. “ Gale admitted apologetically, clearly tickled by the tawdry trappings of that part of her youth. “But of course there were other things. Like marriage, for instance, and my beautiful daughter here. Paula? Meet Karen.“
“Had her kind of Late did you? “ the former chorus girl remarked, taking Rochelle by the hand while giving her the once-over with a practiced eye.
“Still, not too shabby. Nice little body, there. You ever consider trading on your good looks, Hon? “
‘Uh, thanks - I think. “ our little college student blushed fiercely, jabbing a free finger in my general direction. “But I’m not the daughter … she is. “
Karen fumed while I snickered at the woman’s almost cursory look my way, our self image flagged by the stage madam’s experienced evaluation.
Still, Ms. Lockwood was just as judgmental toward her own assessment of our figure.
“Well, it takes all kinds in this business. Oh … what is it you do again? “
I didn’t even blink, smiling sweetly as I lightly quipped. “Oh, nothing much … I’m just a reporter. “
Her double take was priceless, if fleeting.
The moment was broken while Paula hen-pecked the ladies, tackily resplendent in faux rhinestone Gs, almost invisible gun belts fastened by over sized sliver stars.
A little talc around sensitive areas, a touch of rouge, the nearly naked gaggle were good to go for the next set.
‘It’s not what you think, by the way. “ Gail explained preemptively, catching that question in the others merry face. “Carl and I were separated by the powers that be, after the murders. I moved around a bit before finally hooking up with a good man - Karen’s father. “
“He’s a dentist, since you asked. “
‘I guess I did. “ Paula chuckled with a rueful shake of her colorful curls. “You got boring on me, Kiddo. “
“Thank God for that. “ mom shot back.
“So. “ Jenny cut in while casually wrapping a scarlet boa across her shoulders. She critically inspected her reflection in the lit dressing mirror, perhaps seeing the young woman she used to be. I was certain; with her Barbara Stanwyck grace, that Mrs. Weston had been quite the glamour girl. “A bit of naughty, from time to time, is good for the soul. “
“Back when I was in college, a wannabe beau actually took me to see Gypsy Rose Lee. She was doing some club in NYC, just off of Time Square … “
“See now, that what passed for class in the public eye, though folks in the business knew better. “ Ms. Lockwood lectured, half listening to the sounds from onstage.
“Now, Sally Rand. She was one of several gals who brought some dignity in. That’s what I try to pass on to these kids. “
‘Point Taken. “ the otherwise overlooked Natalie Bruno replied understatedly, not quite as entertained by all this as the rest of us. “Flashing Tits and Ass for a bunch of dirty old men is fun. “
“Well, Well. “ chuckled our hostess, a playfully fierce gleam in that amber gaze. “Someone’s gotten herself an education, hasn’t she? But you’re right, dear. It was a bitch of a biz to get caught up in.
“While I got in at the ass end; as our Ms. Grumpy says - still, The Grind wasn’t simply a routine, it was a rough life for all. “
“Of course now, any Vegas club worth mentioning is bonded up that very same ass. “ Gail added thoughtfully, though she flashed a supportive smile toward our Amazonian co-ed. “And all kinds of annual inspections, but not all unionized? “
“With our turn-over? “ Paula grimaced. “But we still submit a ton of paperwork on each girl to the State, all the same. It’s not an entirely solid system, but I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to my girls. You can count on that, youngster. “
Natalie blushed deeply, her smug ego dinted by the soft rebuke.
Kolchak knew that hurt presumption well, the confirmation of another world outside of your comfort zone.
Still, the young woman learned quickly, giving Paula a polite nod, though her sharp witted instructor took little offense.
“So. You ladies gonna stay awhile? “ the old performer requested lightly, all forgiven in her mind.
“Well … “ it was actually Rochelle, glancing toward her best friend as Mother and I smiled. Such loyalty deserved to be rewarded.
“Why don’t you girls go on back to the Hotel? “ Gail suggested, clearly addressing me as well as she said it. “Paula and I want to catch up … “
“I’d like to hang with you guys, if you don’t mind. “ I offered, only to be taken back as Kolchak’s ex gave me a sweet yet definite rebuke
“It’s your Bachelorette party, darling girl, so go have fun while we oldsters shoot the breeze. Ok? “
“Yes ma’am. “ I answered, figuring that she didn’t want an old beau listening to what she had to say about him.
Still, this spontaneous exclusion smarted just a bit.
Jenny Weston was clearly tickled by this Mother-Daughter dynamic as she chimed in. “I think I would like to stay as well. As much as I’d like to be - some of us aren’t exactly spring chickens. “
“I’m not too old. “ Dorothy protested spontaneously; to no one in particular.
“Fine, “ Karen & I grumbled with half sincere exasperation as an unperturbed Tanya took my hand. “Let the old biddies have their hen-party. We Chicks are going to paint the town. “
“Just so long as you remember to pace yourself. “ my friend chided, with a return to mischief. “Don’t forget Amore del Mares. “
“Well, I’ll always have you here to remind me. “ I retorted smartly, catching a curious edge to Tanya’s merry expression.
“Of that, and other things. “ she confirmed, but it wasn’t Booze or Debauchery she was referring to.
I had made that promise at the end of the cruise, hadn’t I?
‘No, really. I‘m not. “ my boss said again, prompting Tanya and I to each sling an arm across her shoulder. “I don’t know how these rumors get started. “
So it was we left them gabbing as I slipped Mario’s call card into Gail’s outstretched fingers.
We; Karen and I, gave them a parting caress, just to show that All was Right with The World.
Of course what I couldn’t anticipate was how not right things would ultimately become …
May 13th, 2006
Traces of defused morning light played tag over my half naked body as I blinked repeatedly to clear my sleep crusted eyes.
I stretched this somewhat stiff frame with less than catlike grace, Tanya’s admonishments in mind.
My mild hangover, thank the Gods, was the purest that either Karen or Kolchak had experienced for quite a long time.
For my best friend, however …
It seemed that Payback was indeed a bitch as she sprawled semi-comatose across the other side of the bed, having helped to successfully close out our first night.
Not to the point of alcohol-induced amnesia; a state with which I’d become very familiar, and we did manage to undress before crashing hard upon the too soft mattress.
“Tanya? Honey? “ I spoke deliberately loud in her ear, to which a stray hand batted at me like some buzzing insect. “I’m just going down stair for a quick stroll to clear the cobwebs. You want me to order everyone breakfast before I go? “
“Humph. Burble … Dats uh kay.“ she confirmed before drifting back to sleep.
I chuckled heartily at this, content that this time I’d acquitted myself well in our all-nighter.
Though this female body was way younger than Carl’s fossilized male physique, still I’d had doubts as Natalie started us on Tequila shooters in this club called Mystique.
Of course we more seasoned gals were Game to try, with even Dorothy setting up a respectable pyramid of glasses before her.
Hell, Rochelle even got us all on the dance floor, inspired, no doubt, by her chat with Paula.
But wherever the inspiration came from, our little girl got into some serious grinding while both Natalie and I watched her like mother-hens.
The last time some mentor had given our Ms. Sandberg advice - well, Natalie knew better than anyone how that turned out.
This night, thankfully, Rochelle kept her more provocative moves inside the club, and the worst headaches were reserved for the morning after.
“Ms. Klein … “ a pixyish voice greeted me as I exited onto the main lobby.
“Karen. “
“Karen. “ Sam agreed with an almost beatific smile, while her eyes held a devilish glint at sight of my slightly rumpled shorts and T-top.
“DeLinda said you ladies had a very good time last night. She also mentioned you wanted to ask me a favor, but it could wait until morning.
“Well … it’s morning. What can I do for you? “
As a bride to be, even with Ms. Weller’s earlier cautions, I was determined to wring as much pleasure out of this trip as possible. As an investigative reporter, however, there were times when Coincidence became too much so, as to supersede fun.
On the face of it, I only had my suspicions, but such had begun many of Kolchak’s more notorious cases …
There was something else as well, at the edge of my memory.
As we were leaving the Gold Strike Cabaret, Dorothy had been saying - well, quite a lot really, but most of it had gone in one ear and out the other.
Still, as we’d skirted the main theatre, I was fairly certain I’d spied those same guys as from twice before in the audience.
Again, this was purely circumstantial, but it stuck as an afterthought.
I could only let it stew until getting the proper help, either to confirm or allay my tenuous hunch …
“I was just wondering, uh, Sam. “ I gave her the warmest smile which instantly got me a guarded look in return. “Umm, just how good is your surveillance system? “
Facial Recognition software had been in use for some time now, but only recently came into its own within the last few years. With the total conversion to Digital, the process of Identification from even a single captured frame was oft times lightning quick … in most cases.
In Security, Mike Cannon leaned forward with deep focus as his fingers flew across the keyboard, periodically checking the time index while sped up overlapping phantoms flitted by on the Hi-Def screen.
We’d already established our own arrival, and yet he was having some problems finding the right camera angle to locate our possible stalkers.
“You’re pretty sure they were coming out of that particular bar? “ he asked gently, wary of the restless women beside him. Sam couldn’t help but poke fun at her coworker.
“Yep, we were all struck blind in that moment. One reporter, and two PR people whose job it is to be attentive to detail … “
“We aren’t talking about your fashion sense, darlin. “ he muttered under his breath, returning to the task at hand. “Hold on. Let me try something … Hah! Who’s the Man? “
“We’ll discuss that later. “ the sultry hostess purred irreverently, even as she coyly looked back over her shoulder at me. “But for now … that reflection in the window look familiar, Karen? “
They’d nearly been in a blind spot, but the mirror sheen of the tavern glass caught a partial of one, and all of his buddy - talking on his cell. Still, both were in motion and very blurry … “You can clean that up? I’m kinda hoping. “
“If I skip lunch. “ he assured me, and I couldn’t tell if he was kidding. “But seriously, it’ll take probably an hour, at the very least, to program in the variables. You wanna wait? I can order in some Danishes or something … “
“Oh shit! “ I cursed loudly, remembering that I was suppose to be elsewhere. “Uh, could you just phone up to our suite? If it’s longer … here, I’ll give you my number. “
Mike nodded, smiling wickedly as I hustled my ass back upstairs.
Tanya and Dorothy, at once familiar with my habits, merely continued to nosh while Gail clucked her tongue.
Jenny and the Girls likewise figured it for some bridal eccentricity, Rochelle offering me her fruit platter as I flumped down at the table.
“That was some stroll. “ Tanya ventured, using her waffle laden fork to punctuate the point. “At least you got us this excellent feed before going MIA. “
The banquet was pretty amazing, warming trays holding scrambled eggs, sausage n bacon, an option of waffles or flapjacks. Plenty of coffee or tea to rouse our groggy crew.
There were several plates of fruit and pastries, overkill like before. This time, I was more than ready to dig in.
“So, where were you off to? “ Dorothy; The Inquisitor, asked politely. “Obviously something so engrossing that Breakfast was fast on it’s way to becoming Lunch. “
“I was just checking out some guys. “ I quipped somewhat evasively, my collaborator paranoid enough that she caught my drift without too much trouble.
“You shouldn’t do that without Backup. “ our editor grumbled; not without a fond undertone to the stern reproach. “You’re to be a married woman soon. “
“Oh, Sam was there. As well as that great eye in the Montecito sky. In fact - Mike’s checking that for me right now. “
“Thank you for being careful. “ she exhaled gratefully. “After all, one would think we were going a bit overboard with this … “
“Ya think? “ I suggested tartly while casting a skewed eye at my best friend. “Well, Tanya would. “
“You bet I would. “ emphasized the aforementioned gal. “Now would you please just let Security do their job? Who decided that ’Dire. ’ was to be part of this week anyway? “
“Not me. “ I responded innocently, Karen mentioning something about ‘Denial Not Just Being a River in Egypt. ‘
Only she knew how true that was, though it came less from what Kolchak had shown her, than the fact that we’d been two peas from the start.
Truth, made us kindred. Truth, on the other hand, as it set free those captive in ignorance, also set something more physical in motion.
I believed that while I couldn’t predict exactly where; this Karmic Roulette Wheel would stop, my own end was fairly well predetermined. Still - Where Humans Presume …
Already the now boisterous and well fed women were ready to roll, Tanya; The Ringleader, making sure we were all properly outfitted to hit the casino.
As she went down the line, my ever prepared maid of honor divvied out stacks of chips for all of us.
So … Here’s the joke.
For as much time as Kolchak had spent in Sin City, he never once picked up the dice or laid down a single hand.
It was that stubborn streak; forged early on in his life, which formed the basis for his hardcore cynicism. It was the desire never to be mistaken for a mark - by anyone.
As an extraordinary exception to the rule, Gail had broken through that shell, even if Carl ‘The Romantic. ‘ was forever a work in progress. It was that fleeting hopeful moment, which made his eventual fall back into former habits all the more tragic.
Nearing the end of that other Life, who’d have thought the daughter would finish what the mother had started, although it took a Rube Goldberg set of conditions to do the deed.
But dressed in a breezy fluted skirt and fitted blouse, I felt in Grand Form as Gail stopped just before the entrance to the gaming floor. She turned on Natalie and Rochelle with a strict maternal stare.
“Listen Ladies. “ she lectured the younger women. “Stay away from spinning wheels or one armed bandits. They’ll take your money in a flash. If you must play the slots, work the progressives.
“I’d stick to cards, myself, since you can stretch your time at the table by betting smart. “
‘Just like those MIT guys. “ Natalie suggested arrogantly, to which I gently corrected her. “Who had serious money backing them.
“Besides, they played as much to survive the lulls as rack up during the good hands. And don’t think the dealers or their pit bosses aren’t wise to most systems being run these days. “
“Otherwise, just have fun. “Gail concluded brightly, giving me that cute eye roll she used to flash at Carl when he got too serious. “Shall we? “
In keeping with the spirit of this adventure, I actually did play some Blackjack, retiring after only a few hands - which I won, of course. But these were not the games of chance which excited me - or Karen, for that matter.
Our particular occupation played to a purer level of risk, and; in Kolchak’s case, more often than not put Life and Limb on the table.
Gale, for all the good advice, chose rather to observe the fun from the casino bar, while our co-eds laid their chips down with eager abandon. Dorothy seemed to have a definite method to her betting schemes, while Jenny simply ran a straight forward gambit, which somehow produced some pretty decent payouts.
Tanya and I sat next to one another, sipping Margaritas, my friend evidently considering a question that needed asking.
I recalled that conversation we’d had aboard ship, last July, and was fully prepared to make good on my promise. But with all that happened in between, it just never seemed quite the right time.
“Get me really drunk tonight. “ I teased her. “I’ll give you an earful. “
“You can count on that. “ She chuckled, before we were interrupted by a courtesy call for me. I excused myself at another page as our bartender passed me a phone.
“Sam thought you might still be in the hotel … “ Mike Cannon explained oh so cautiously.
I giggled at his consideration while gently asking. “Uh, Mike? You do have something for me, right? “
“It’s probably better if I show you. “ he answered. “I know you got your party goin on and … “
“Well, it is ‘My Party. ‘ “ I told him as Tanya raised a quizzical brow. “So, sister? You up for some Show n Tell? “
‘I‘d love it. “ she grinned widely.
Gail stayed behind to explain our absence and we walked in to find Mike arranging several documents on his screen. At a cursory glance, it confirmed that our boys were far from Good Citizens …
“Ladies. “ he greeted us with a somewhat puzzled tone. “It appears that while your admirers are less than squeaky clean, what their interest in you is; apart from the obvious, I haven‘t determined yet. “
“Nice save. “ I dryly observed, thrusting my chest out to emphasize the point. “This is all local info, right? “
“Well, I was just getting started. “ he protested, idly tapping a key to enlarge the file of one Aaron Hannigan: the regional cookie-cutter racketeer.
“Both Donnie Carr and Gerald Holt have had countless run ins with the Law, from car-jacking to petty theft. They graduated to - if you can call it that, larger but hardly violent crimes, recently hired as errand boys for this man. “
“Do me a favor and have Dorothy Weller come up here? “ I requested, already formulating my apologies to her in advance. “I believe that if you link in with the Chicago Police Data Base, we’ll have our connection. “
“I can do that. “ Mike confirmed. “Though if you want to go the extra mile, I’ll have to notify our home town cops as to what I’m doing … “
“That won’t be necessary - for now. “ I reassured him, even as Tanya opined on her earlier assessment.
“I guess we need to set an extra place for the party? ‘Dire.’ absolutely seems to be invited. “
For a professional fussbudget, Dorothy surprised me with her level critique, nodding at the onscreen profile.
“Hannigan is Miles second cousin. Or is he a brother in law? In any case, his boys have been tailing us since yesterday. “
“And yet, it’s been ‘Look, Don’t Touch?’ “ I countered, not without some levity toward this low key reaction to my rather barbed editorial. “What are they waiting for, I wonder? “
“You see me complaining? “ my coworker inquired rhetorically, as Tanya and I swapped sour looks. “Perhaps Miles wants to be here in person when they put a cap in our … “
“Look. “ Mike interrupted before she got her full steam on. “You’re guests at the Montecito, and as such you’re my personal responsibility. I won’t let anyone whack anyone. But just stay inside the hotel for now, OK? It’s a very public venue, after all. “
“I don’t suppose a call to the police is in order? “ Tanya suggested, to which our guardian angel shook his smooth head.
“If there’s an actual threat, they’ll get involved. But unless you want these wise-guys charged with Loitering, there’s not much the authorities can do at this time. “
“You could, as a private institution, bar them from the premises? “ Dorothy offered unhelpfully, which she damn well knew. “No, you can’t. There’s no cause. “
“Well, just modify your plans accordingly. “ he told us. “I’ll keep both eyes on them, as well as anyone who shows up in their company. In the meantime, enjoy yourselves. “
Enjoy Ourselves - well - there was always a certain Gallows Humor to be had from this, though we three ladies shared it exclusively among ourselves.
We didn’t want to scare the others - after all. But this hands off approach from our admirers did bring an extra thrill to our festivities …
Sam, after having a private talk with Mike, escorted us personally to the in-house spa. Its chatty little Asian Masseuse tried to do as good a job erasing our concerns as she did waxing certain intimate zones.
That, in and of itself, was still barely distracting enough for me.
But Mike Cannon was on the case, and gradually even this pessimistic princess allowed that the next move was up to Miles.
For the present, with the main event fast approaching, I fell back upon a ‘Eat, Drink, and Whatnot. ‘ demeanor.
In all honesty, it was Carl who kept me centered, though I did feel just a little put out by this whole affair.
As much as I hated to admit it, when Jacob Kane had made that condescending remark; oh so long ago, he was right. For all the harsh language or threatened legal action, Karens Life had rarely been put on the line; until Janus ReGen …
August 4th
Another Addendum;
What the Hell could he have been thinking at this point ?
Once again, for the record, I didn’t need Gods, Monsters, or other kinds of Mystical Mayhem to back me in a corner. Bats, Shotguns, and Knives galore, they did the job just as easily. So while I’m certain he respected us, I can’t be sure of what; exactly, he meant.
Perhaps it did figure into that moment of true awakening for me, where Kolchak would finally give up the ghost - so to speak.
May 13th, 2006
Karen was unusually still when we were escorted into Mystique. I was as much in the dark as to her reasons, as from the satin blindfold which covered our beautiful eyes.
The kerchief was our college girls inspiration, all the better to keep up the suspense.
It did that - to a point, as likewise it heightened my edginess in the absence of our two stalkers.
Tanya and Gail at my elbows, helped to keep this girl calm, and yet …
“Surprise! “
And so it was; though a certain mischievous maid of honor had clued me into her epic plan just yesterday.
Seven was reproduced several times over. Mostly last minute well wishers; under a canopy of obscenely shaped balloons, all ready to party down with this sardonic bride-to-be.
There was also a champagne tower, so ambitiously stacked that I wondered if the only cascade tonight would be that of tumbled glasses.
This mild speculation, in the midst of everything else, came to naught under the practiced attention of our servers.
And as the sparkling sculpture quickly dwindled down to it’s fluted foundation, the professional partiers looked to both our hostesses, Sam and Tanya, for that sign the Wild Rumpus could commence in earnest.
Like overeager ponies at the gate, even our cute-some co-eds looked past ready - until Tanya simply winked at me, at which point there was a roar of approval.
In that proverbial cliché, as I was instantly surrounded by this tidal rush, an almost defensive burst of happiness surged over me.
It filled me - from my stiletto heels, to this golden crimpled cocktail dress (an homage - of sorts - to Gail. ), to the skillfully coiffed do and its soft curls, highlighting my boldly rouged cheeks.
All the careful work was instantly mussed by a seemingly endless round of kisses - most from men ( but a surprising number of women ) who didn’t seem to care that I was already taken.
And well into this PG-13 orgy of good natured closeness, Tanya did a fair imitation of a pro footballer; rudely shoving the throng aside to reach me.
My old college sister gave some of the more enthused young men the serious Hairy Eyeball before pressing a wine glass into my hand.
“So, Here’s your drink - one of many - as promised. “ my best girl laughed, followed by a firm smooch on a genuinely flush cheek. “But while you‘ll have load to say, I‘m sure. For now, I got a speech of my own to give. “
“She had a bit of Liquid Courage there? “ I asked of Gail who only grinned at our Ms. Landers, striding to the DJ’s station with a calculated straight-backed walk.
“With a friend like you, is it any wonder ? Darling Girl? “ Mom teased, only to be cut off by the high pitched electronic feedback.
“I guess that works. “ giggled Tanya through the reverb. “So, ya’ll wanna know why we’re having this little shindig? “
Even with some good natured Boos, the ayes prevailed as this bride to be and her mother rolled their eyes. Likewise, my always steadfast but somewhat wobbly friend quieted the room with a look, before launching into her half prepared/half impromptu speech .
OK, so here’s the skinny on our prim Miss Big Shot Reporter - how many of you didn’t know she was a reporter? “
Again with the boisterous negatives, principally from the West Coast mob and a few home town non-print readers. Tanya registered all this with disdain, as in an ‘I’ll get round to dealing with you guys later. ‘ attitude.
“Well, for those who don’t - more the pity, since Karen Foster Klein has made my Life a Living Hell for many years … no, strike that. This Lucky Bitch has kept things interesting since we first met at Columbia U, New York City.
Comrades in arms over a student housing dispute, a hot street kid and this lily white girl from Cleveland .. “
“Oh, Give Me A Break. “ I snorted derisively. “The only street was in Haddonfield, New Jersey - you poser! “
“But still smoking hot. “ Tanya amended, to which I couldn’t argue, even though she’d recycled her black and red sheath dress from last year.
“In any case, I just knew from looking, that this wide eyed youngster was gonna be trouble - and she was. Still - Honey- my sister, you kept me on my toes, and honored our friendship with an unwavering state of Grace. How could anyone hope to - wish to - recover from that?“
Short, sweet, and a soppy acknowledgement from yours truly, or so I thought.
That was before my maid of dishonor launched into an extended list of Ms. Klein’s more notorious college adventures.
Frankly, even this woman was left exhausted by her blow by blow narrative - until Tanya eventually reached the present, and my imminent marriage …
And finally - I see ya’ll like that one. ‘She’s gonna wrap this up so we can get back to partying. ‘ Finally we get to the matter of The Groom. “
‘Oh oh. “ Mom whispered in my ear.
“The Professor. That’s what everyone calls Him. He’s Gorgeous, Devastatingly Intelligent … Tenured.
Who could be a better match for my friend? One thing, however … “
“Uh, Tanya … “ I actually felt a touch of worry override - well - my touch of worry over that other matter, wondering just what she was up to. “If you could put a wrap on this? I could use another drink. “
“Hush, you. “ she slurred almost imperceptibly. “I got the mike - this time. Just let me get this out. “
“My girl here, she’s usually straight up, especially with friends, so I’ve always trusted in that.
Still, I never properly met this mystery man of hers, so on top of all the weirdness we’d gone through the past year - there was this interesting little tidbit … “
So much unsaid, too many people I loved left in the dark - all water over the dam.
That while it had been inevitable that some portion of the Truth would come out …
“You see, our Ms Foster isn’t the only Snoop around here. When Dorothy and I got the good news back in December - we just had to check out Mr. Prof for ourselves. “ Tanya explained, even as I scanned the room for her co-conspirator.
I was more surprised by the company Ms. Weller kept; casually snuggling with a rather smug looking Mario, than any imagined betrayal on her part. As a professional cynic, would I have done any less under the circumstances?
And yet, as curious as I was; to hear what exactly my two ladies had uncovered, this public reveal was definitely not the place …
Okay, gang. “ I temporized loudly, diverting the audience with a touch of exasperated theatrics. “As entertaining as Tanya can be, how’s about some Karaoke instead? “
She seemed less than pleased that I interrupted her moment, but even as my best friend protested - the microphone went dead …
“Or not? “ suggested Gail just before the Rumpus unexpectedly got wilder by several factors.
The electrical pyrotechnics started near the main stage, quickly sending a shower of sparklers along the front row of gel lights. The shocked revelers, however, were way ahead of the amok display, already forming an efficient bottleneck at the exits.
“That wasn’t my fault. “ Tanya insisted through the billowy smoke as I grasped her outstretched digits.
I felt Mom take my other hand, while Jenny calmly lead the girls toward our voices.
“Nope, just some party poopers. “ Dorothy interjected with almost a dismissive tone. With her was Mario, our stud chauffeur affecting a soft familiar smile which sidetracked my rising panic.
“You. “ I gasped stupidly with abrupt recognition, before laying into him - metaphorically. “You could help here? “
“As you might have figured out by now, “ Mario chuckled arrogantly. “I’m a Lover, not a fighter. “
“Alright Ladies. “ Sam rushed up to us, giving our unearthly Adonis the once over. “Hmmm … Nice to meet you too. But for now, we got to get you guys out of here. Let’s step behind the curtain, shall we? “
It seemed a good idea at the time, but evidently our shadows thought so too as we burst out into a side corridor. With one way effectively blocked, Sam looked to another avenue before we realized the boys had brought backup …
“We can’t get to Mike. “ our guide murmured in an annoyed yet still cute voice, just as we were spotted by our tails. “Shit. Everyone outside. “
“Outside is bad. Remember … ? “ Natalie suggested to thin air, the rest of her posse already on the move.
It seemed that she was right as we emerged near the valet station, only to find Miles and Aaron almost on top of us - figuratively. For all our combined ingenuity, it seemed we were fast running out of options when an unexpected savior arrived …
“You ladies call for a ride? “ Mario offered with light irony, even as Sam urged us into the idling vehicle.
“You go. I’ll send up some Flares. “ she insisted. “Get! “
We were somewhat tumbled about as our demigod driver peeled out, several pedestrians scattering before the high end juggernaut. Out the tinted rear window, I saw a boxy steel blue Cadillac gave chase as we searched in vain for any signs of Police.
“Like you expected an instant roadblock or something? “ my enamored editor snipped tartly, as if trying to shake off a mild buzz. Mario/Del la Croix, he had that affect on women. “We should definitely do something more proactive … “
“Surely you got On-Star or something? “ I barked at our getaway man who shook his head at such mundane concerns. “Oh, I forgot. You never need any assistance, do you? “
“But you do have a cell phone? “ he suggested brazenly, while Natalie and Rochelle seemed more confused by the minute. “Or is that too normal for you? “
“You raise a girls standards, after all. “ I sneered, even while dialing Mike’s number.
For all this technological wizardry, the damn line was busy, but I instantly did what any good writer would - I sent him a text message.
‘Pursued on Eastern Ave, just passing Spring Mountain. Would you send Help?’
‘Gotcha. ‘ he quickly responded, adding somewhat dubiously. ‘Your wheels aren’t Lo-Jacked?’
‘It’s a long story, but we’re pretty easy to spot. ‘ I typed back testily. ‘A Long Ass HumVee, breaking all speed limits.’
‘I’ll get the word out then. “ Mike promised, but amended that with some awkward advice. ‘They were distracted, so find some safe port, somewhere to hunker down. It’ll give us time - ‘
The signal dropped out and I fussed with my phone as Gail read the communiqué.
In the midst of all this chaos, my mother began to chuckle as she impolitely tapped the back of Mario’s head.
“If you’re looking for Sanctuary, “ she chortled merrily. “I think I know the place. “
Safe Haven was a dubious title at best as a hastily executed right turn gave us a window of only a few seconds.
It was the hotel escape in reverse, seven women ducking in various stores for cover while Mario sped off, our chase car nearly right behind him.
“Well, that was easy. “ Rochelle retorted lightly as her friend scowled darkly.
“Yep, right out in the open, unless we want to get some shopping done before those guys double back. “ Natalie groused, to which Jenny; recognizing our current location, gave a sideways glance toward Gail.
“I think someone has another type of Window Shopping in mind. “ she observed knowingly.
It wasn’t like The Gold Strike was exactly a secret, but both Gail and I hoped that neither Donnie or Gerald would make it their first choice. In the meanwhile, Paula Lockwood grinned at the rather haggard group before her.
“Steppin on the wrong set of toes again, hmmm? “ she chided us, as in the background her girls dressed for a pirate show, frilly breast baring corsets, beribboned white stockings, little plastic cutlasses and wide floppy captain’s hats.
“While Hannigan plays the tough, he’s not much of a killer by reputation … yet. “
“You’re a comfort in our hour of need, darling. “
“As always. “ Paula confirmed. “But I’m not sure that’ll last for long. “
“Long enough. “ I added acidly, turning on Tanya who actually appeared less ashamed than I would’ve thought.
“What was that little drama at the mike, Ms. Landers? “
“It was as much my fault as hers. “ Dorothy interceded, symbolically stepping between us. “I thought you’d become way too evasive since the whole Kolchak affair, so I started grilling some of your friends to find out what was going on. “
“And what about Trust? “
“Trust in my instincts? Both as your Friend and Editor? “ she chastised me, to which I rightly blushed fiercely.
“We love you, kiddo. So if that means peeling back some major denial - take a peek behind the curtain, so to speak, Guilty as charged. “
“Some intervention. “ I muttered, though not unkindly. “Still, you put on a big show, Tanya. There’re some bigger issues here which were best hashed out in private … “
“Oh sure. “ she chuckled roughly, giving me a crooked little smile to undercut the hard tone. “As an expert in uncovering the truth, you aren’t that good at hiding it. I figured a little shock treatment would help you come clean. “
“And that tidbit about my future husband? “
“Look, hon. “ she spread her hands in supplication, which was a good since I was still ready to tear her a new one.
“Most everyone we talked to insisted that: apart from the Name thing, Prof was a stand up guy and beyond reproach in his field. But there were a few inconsistencies.
“An impromptu sabbatical, for instance, so long ago I thought it must be another man - maybe even a relative. It wasn’t. Other little eccentricities, like a place out West which doesn’t really exist … “
“Tanya,. “ I exhaled with a reticent sigh; To have it out with her at long last. “You stepped into something way beyond our little adventure last summer. Speaking of which, you do know that Mario is our Adonis in a new body, don’t you? “
“Well, it doesn’t surprise me.” she mused with little alarm, more from my company than her professional tact. “But back to your fiancé, there was one other thing … about his name … “
“Uh, Ladies. “ our formerly bemused hostess interrupted, mildly anxious now. “As cathartic as this is and all - Heads Up. “
Apparently Miles really wanted to see me, each obvious exit covered, as the short stocky man with the ginger crew cut paused to check out the show. His beanpole of a cousin, more serious, seemed vaguely put out by the mans leisurely attitude.
“We’re trapped, aren’t we? “ Rochelle blurted out with accidental irony, all the while Natalie unusually amused by our predicament.
“Well, “ our lanky college student remarked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as all at once she began to peel down. “If we can’t hide out - maybe we can hide in Plain Sight? “
Tanya and I were both nonplussed by the spontaneous yet endearing cliché. But while no sane woman would ever seriously consider this random act of exhibitionism, I realized it might be made to work to our advantage ...
“You saw that show too? “ the younger student gushed, even as she in turn unzipped her dress, revealing that lithe little body which Paula admired. “Do we have time for this? “
Natalie glanced over at Paula, deep in conversation with Gail who nodded astutely. “It’s not like there’s a lot to put on - if someone could help? “
“We’re not doing that, are we? “ Karen asked me, even as the stage madam snickered while making over our now bare ass co-eds. I grinned at her concern, less from our urgent circumstance than showing her hoo-ha to a bunch of dirty old men.
“I think Gail has something else in mind. “ I responded in a low voice, both to my invisible sister and Tanya’s questing look.
“You betcha. “ Mom chuckled, giving our now naked co-eds a cursory glance, but showing no inclination to stop their rather silly erotic scheme. “They gonna be OK? “
“They’ll be fine. “ I promised, certain that Miles wasn’t interested in anyone but me. “Trapdoor? “
“Trap Door. “ she confirmed as we older gals breathed a sigh of relief. “There’s a tunnel out to a narrow alleyway which I’m hoping was overlooked. “
“Another tunnel. “ Karen groaned, but still it beat that rather risky/risqué option.
“That’s about as Dirty as I’m prepared to get. “ I promised her, ready to move when an unanticipated glitch occurred.
For all my willpower, I felt glued to the floor, barely able to twitch a finger as Dorothy touched my shoulder.
“We gotta Go, Hon. “ she urged. “In a few seconds, our decoys will wonder where we got to, and Miles will be storming the ramparts - so to speak. “
Frozen as I was, it was Karen who did something which; up to that point had been impossible. It was like a runner stuck to the block, freed by the sound of the pistol shot -
August 4th
A Eureka Moment;
How can I explain this moment? How contrary it was to everything which Carl had believed up to this point?
Perhaps as someone coming out of Coma, that extended Twilight, thrust roughly back into the blinding light of complete consciousness - but that’s Bullshit. This sorta thing has no real comparison to best describe my awakening.
I didn’t even remember any form of existence; prior to that split second when I took control from Kolchak.
But surprised as he was, it was no less so than my discovery of this recognizable extra soul - sharing our body.
Still, even as the events came too fast and furious for my mind to process accurately at the time, I defer now to his earlier entries to draw this final episode to its proper conclusion.
It’s only right that that we see this out in his voice.
May 13th, 2006
It was just as well that Karen ran the show from this point on, though her initial spastic movements nearly tumbled us down the rabbit hole, with only Tanya to steady us from above.
This was what I’d hoped would happen; all my previous adventures gearing up to this moment in time.
Still, It caught me off guard, the abruptness of our swap, Kolchak becoming the spectator as my gal reasserted herself.
All at once she became aware of me, a small shock of pleasure in the midst of all her confusion.
Karen knew her general surroundings, and some of her companions, but the How & Why of her displacement? That required a matter of Faith; reborn in this crisis.
Hamstrung though I seemed to be, I began to reestablish our lines of communication; albeit on the fly, using tricks which she’d taught me as a former spirit.
Thankfully I was a quick study, recapping only the essence of our current state, as well as the gist of our betrothal to The Professor.
Karen found the whole thing to be highly amusing, to which I rolled allegorical eyes in response.
“Hey, you still with us? “ hissed Tanya from behind, amazed at the almost hysterical laughter from her best friend.
“I am now. “ Karen answered with an overwhelming sense of relief. “Let’s hope it sticks. “
Lead by Mother, followed closely by Dorothy and Jenny, we found the apparent exit from this narrow utility corridor, faint sounds of traffic echoing dimly through the thin wall.
Taking a collective breath, we erupted out into the equally constricted alley, and found Miles Albert Kern waiting for us.
For a man finally confronting the object of his alleged ire, Miles seemed genuinely pleased to see this lady.
Aaron, however, was a touch more anxious.
“Ms. Klein, for such a sweet looking gal, you wrote a rather saucy article. “ Miles ventured with an otherwise unreadable humor. “Very sexy little dress there, by the way. “
“And it was so nice of you to fly out here to tell me this. “
Karen gave the mobster her nicest smile, sensing something unspoken behind that probing gaze. “Honestly though, wouldn’t an E-mail have been more practical? “
“Miles. “ his cousin warned harshly, the faint sound of sirens actually moving toward our location. “Do what you gotta do, OK? But don’t think we have all the time in the world for this. “
“Oh, we always make time for pretty girls. “ Kern soothed, giving us a wink which didn’t exactly erase the sense of something being a bit off here. “Especially when I’m about to propose - “
Tanya gasped while Gail simply shook her head in disbelief. Dorothy took it all in stride as keeping with our perversely precarious situation.
“Uh, that’s - unexpected, Miles. “ Karen cut in with some obvious confusion,. “But this is my Bachelorette Party? “
“Which means squat to me, sweetheart.“ the short mobster answered curtly.
“But as this is Vegas, what the groom don’t know - What I’m suggesting is a brand spanking new article, starting with an in depth and very personal one on one, investigating these … little quirks of mine? “
“Uh, are you asking me to - ? “ Karen gulped, even as the image of the rather sturdy male in a lacy half slip, sprawled across this girls lap, sprang unbidden to our mind.
Or, even worse, he might decide to be the Giver rather than Receiver -
“Well, ‘First Hand Experience. ’ and all that. “ he suggested with barefaced zeal.
“Besides, I think that tough girl reporter act is as much a dodge as anything you say about me. You wanna maybe put that to the test, darlin?
“Of course you can refuse, but I’ll still have to break something in any case. Why not make it Fun?“
“It’s nice of you to offer a choice. “ Karen observed dryly before Dorothy suddenly jumped in with Good intent; if not the best timing.
“And you think we’re just gonna stand by while you - “
I’m not certain she wasn’t going for something, but even if my stalwart editor was simply gesturing emphatically - Aaron reacted on instinct, even as I flashed back to Janus’ Maelstrom.
But for a split second hesitation …
Apparently Karen remembered as well; the choice made in an impulse act, faster than the bullet which sped from the mobsters’ Glock.
Our last memories were of Searing Pain, followed by screams which were drowned out by more gunfire.
Then … Nothing.
I opened my eyes to find myself; Carl Kolchak, standing once again in my male body, if indeed an idealized and younger version - san clothing.
A low whistle to my right, and there was Karen Klein in all her naked glory, appreciative of the man I was in my prime …
“Well, this is almost expected. “ she deadpanned, ‘Dead. ‘ the operative word here. We’d greatly exaggerated News of our demise before, after all …
We had returned to The Temple, though she and I viewed the dais and its statuary anew through a defused white light. On the countless wall monitors were videos of Karen’s Life, from when she was first contacted by Jillian Crane, through to that frozen moment when Aaron fired our fatal shot.
“You’ve done well, Carl. “ that damnable androgynous echo spoke with clear approval. “You should be proud - “
“The Operation was a Success, but The Patient died? “ I shoot back scornfully, not used to this lower timbre after so long. “Hardly what I would call ‘Mission Accomplished. ‘ “
“Success is a State of Mind. Which Form it takes; this meeting will decide. “ The God(s) answered, its sage tones virtually pouring through my allegorical senses.
“Because the Time has arrived where You must make a decision, if Karen is to be sent back to the Mortal World. “
“I’m guessing you can’t forcibly remove me from her body. “ I submitted lightly, feeling no uncertainty in what must happen next. “And it always was - ‘Her Body. ‘ “
“Hold On Here. “ Karen’s direct lovely voice cut in, angry at being excluded like this.
“I don’t even recall anything beyond Janus trying to kill you once. I sure as Hell don’t know how you ended up stuck in my body, or why you have to die all over again. “
“Do we have time for this? “ I asked our God(s) respectfully, mindful of what The Professor had gone through to get his girl. “There’s so much to explain … “
“The conjunction of events must be seen through to some conclusion, fairly soon. “ I was told, but with a gentle amendment. “Still, as we did for Karen, likewise your memories can become hers, though she must work to bring them out. Unlike before, they’ll be only memories. “
With a flash of insight, recalling all that had come before, my feet set firmly at the edge of The Abyss, I had a wicked notion which Janus & Company picked up on.
For all it’s Omnipotence, they did have a very pronounced sense of ironic humor.
“It can be done, I believe. “ The God(s) readily agreed. “But only if you can take this last step. “
I turned to say my final goodbyes to Karen Klein; journalist extraordinaire, daughter that should have been.
At the still defiant expression on her attractive face, I grinned merrily .
“It’s Time to let me go. “ I told her. “To keep an old man hanging around would be less than kind for either of us. You can see that, can‘t you?
“”You and Gale were right about one thing, however. The wrong kind of success would’ve ruined me. But at least on this path, you both gave something back which I thought had died a long time ago. “
“What was that? “ she whispered reverently, while in her voice there was Pain; perhaps as a Caterpillar must feel before its final transformation into Butterfly.
I wanted to run to her, to hold Karen tight, to forsake that last leap into Oblivion, but it wasn’t what old Kolchak had signed on for.
“Hope. “ I answered before stepping off that hypothetical Deep End.
I was consumed by the emptiness, but not so soon that one last word didn’t drift out of the void.
“Remember. “
May 16th, 2006
Las Vegas General Hospital.
Karen Foster Klein’s Journal;
Karen Foster Klein - Back on The Air.
Looking back to my rather surreal reawakening in the late evening of the next day, it almost seemed that Life was indeed just a Dream.
Someone else’s Dream …
I opened my eyes to a sea of concerned faces, my fiancé among them, though the details concerning that Small Wonder yet eluded me.
Still, with the idle caress of his fingers on the back of my ghastly pale hand, I wasn’t too displeased by what Carl had set up in my absence.
“I’m back. “ I whispered softly with some difficulty, my throat acutely sore, but The Professor didn’t mind one bit.
“I had the strangest dream. You were there. And the rest of you as well. “
“She’s still groggy from all the meds we pumped into her. “ advised the duty nurse as she readjusted my drip.
There was Something about her presence … It triggered a little memory; just beyond my inner periphery
.
“That, and the fact she died twice before the surgical team finally stabilized her. “
“You’re a very lucky young lady. “ Mother scolded with a choked voice, stroking my flat unwashed tresses with careful deliberation, As she did, my still shell-shocked parent searched my eyes for something … or someone.
“He’s gone. “ I murmured simply, allowing a melancholy moment to pass between us, we foolish women. “But he sends his Love and - “
“And you. “ she added solemnly, becoming wistfully halfway through. “He saved the girl, and brought my daughter back to me. “
“Most of which is still a blur. “ I groused, eyeballing Prof specifically as I said it.
The source of so much of my confusion, seemed out of character with his own indecision.
Nonetheless he calmly let me stew; just a bit longer, before kissing my forehead gently.
“You’ll get it back, Karen. “ he promised with a more certain voice. “And when you feel up to it, we’ll have a long talk - You and I. “
“About this? “ I countered with weak sarcasm, the best I could manage under the circumstances.
I wiggled my stiff digits with some effort, alternately bemused and annoyed by this sliver/gold engagement ring.
“That, and a whole lot more besides. “ The Professor said with some ambivalence, more than expected in our unique circumstance.
“You can decide how you feel about things then , OK? “
Beaten, Bloodied , and Feeling like a stranger in my own life - still I held one truth close to me for safe keeping. That no matter how upside down things might become, there was only one answer required for my resolute scholar; whose bones I’d so clearly wanted to jump at first meeting.
“Well, “ I offered with an exhausted yet cheerful tone. “I already know how I feel about one thing. If you still wanna go through with it, that is. After all, I got the ring. “
The happy glow on his strong face, it was the only confirmation necessary as I drifted off into a contented sleep.
I found myself eager to discover, in the confusing days ahead, just what other happy changes Carl had made to my Life.
A Hasty Addendum;
Not quite up-to-date here, but that sadistically conscientious nurse insisted on drugging me in the middle of the night.
I slept through most of the 15th, barely aware of the revolving door of well wishers, except for a brief visit from Montecito’s Security Man - Mike Cannon.
He was a very good looking young black man, his head cleanly shaved, and evidently we knew each other well.
“Whatever you did to tee off Miles Kern, “ he announced out of the blue, by way of introduction as he strolled casually into my room.
“His cousin pulled out all the stops to get you out of the Hotel. Multiple false alarms around town, bribes to a few of our less than loyal employees, and the rest you know. “
“Well, “ I suggested offhandedly, acting as if I knew what he was talking about. “Let’s pretend I have Total Amnesia here? What happened that nobody died at the Gold Strike Cabaret? Except for the Bad Guy. “ (or so I’d heard. )
“It was a couple things really. First, You left your phone on, so we were able to start a trace, but it took a minute or two to emphasize the urgency with the police. But the real hero was your Limo Driver, Mario - Someone?
“We had cops all over the area: except where you were at, so this cat did some fairly outrageous maneuvers to attract attention. It included taking out a couple curbside stands - fortunately closed for the night.
“The cavalry arrived toward the end of the conversation down the alley, but too late to stop Hannigan from - uh, popping a cap in your - “
“I get the picture, thank you so much. “ I stopped him, my side aching from the bullet which nearly shredded some vital organs. While the internal damage was - pretty messy, I still had all my parts.
Well, I’ll let you get your rest then. “ Mike Cannon decided, almost out the door before another thought made him turn back.
“Oh! Tanya - Ms. Landers, she wanted you to know that she took care of that little misunderstanding at the Gold Strike?
“Evidently two girls got caught up in a sweep conducted right on the heels of your shooting. A Ms. Rochelle Sandburg and Natalie Bruno? “
At the confused look on my face, Mike checked some notes on his blackberry. “Yep, they were with your party. “
“What happened? “
“Well. “ he chuckled. “Your college girls picked the wrong night to dress up - or is that ‘Down? ‘ as members of the nudie revue. They were none too happy when the cops hustled them off to the station with barely a coat - anyway, to interrogate them about just what went down that night.
“It would seem that the tall girl started something with one of the female officers, and both your ladies got booked on ‘Disorderly Conduct. ‘ & ‘Assaulting A Police Officer.’
“Tanya and your mother posted bail, with a proviso that they show up for arraignment on the date indicated. “
“I guess I’ll have a word with Tanya about that. “ I giggled drowsily, appreciative of the fact that not everything in this new universe was Dire. “But for now I really do need some sleep. Thanks Mike. “
A Matter of Trust;
The smell of coffee woke me, but the pleasant jolt I got from my welcome visitor was better than a double Cap - with cinnamon, of course.
Tanya, half dozing by my bed, appeared fairly guilty as she quickly took my hand in hers.
“Hey there! Resurrection Girl! “
“Yep, apparently so. “ I quipped, with more gusto than I’d felt in a long while. “Nothing like a bullet in the gut to finally wake this Sleeping Beauty up. “
Yah, there is that. “ she joked, though it seemed almost forced. “Of course, I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone. “
“The convalescence is a bitch, for sure. “ I agreed freely, my curious expression allowing Tanya the opening she needed.
“Uh, while you’re in such a good mood, maybe I should just apologize right now? “ my old college comrade in arms ventured, giving her bedridden friend a somewhat cute hangdog expression.
“I really should’ve been more with the Trust, though since our little cruise, you’ve gotten mixed up with some pretty strange company.“
“Don’t even think twice about it. “ I murmured graciously, though I wished she would.
There was definitely a feeling that I was overdue for some serious bedtime reading; if ever I was to understand even a quarter of what was going on.
“Too Late for that. “ lamented Tanya, glancing out into the Hall at something - or someone I couldn’t see.
“But at the very least I can make up for all my suspicions about this guy you chose - and it was You doing the choosing. I guess if Crow’s on the menu, I’ll be ordering an extra helping. “
“And why would you need to do that? “ The Professor inquired roguishly from the doorway, his able gaze coveting this unkempt gal in her plain sky-blue hospital gown.
If a man could still be interested; after all I’d been through - perhaps Kolchak was right. This one was a keeper.
“But, " he continued, that somewhat sublimate affection making me tingle. It hurt like a Mother - but this kind of pain I could grow to like. “If you insist, then I could do with a bite or two myself. “
“Oh, you … You - Guy - you. “ Her mocha cheeks darkened even more, looking amusingly like a school girl; given her first real compliment by a boy.
“I better go find our aspiring Show Girls. Make sure they’re staying out of Trouble. “
“Alone at last. “ I casually remarked as she left, after several uncomfortable minutes between he and I.
This Romance between us.
It evidently was a more difficult thing to get restarted than either of us imagined, especially coming off the bench the way I did.
“Nobody here but us chickens … “
“Well, more like a murder of crows. “ he quipped badly, abandoning all pretense he‘d used with Tanya.
Prof looked; for all the world, even more uncomfortable than she had, clearly wrestling over a yet unspoken truth.
I’d never seen this in him before, but then again - I’d only briefly known him as an impossibly arrogant, seriously sexy, and very mysterious scholar.
“We could play 20 questions, “ I suggested coyly, rewarded for my effort by a faint grin; or was it a grimace?
“or you could just tell me? “
“I could - and I will. “ this amazing man agreed, needing no further prompting to cross that damn space between us - greeting his future bride correctly.
Once again, I quietly thanked Carl for bringing us together.
Rebuilding that level of Intimacy between us, however, would take a lot of dedication.
That incredible kiss ( My First with him - though I feel like an Addled Brain Drew Barrymore as I write this. ), Even with some neediness behind it, I ultimately decided it was worth the effort.
On the other hand, there was that one thing left unresolved between us.
“I’ve been less than honest with both of you. “ he began contritely - no, something darker than simple regret.
“You loved us. “ I consoled him, touched by the unnatural confusion in that once assertive face. “As obligated as you were to The Gods, you gave up so much to help - “
“But that’s not exactly right, you see. “ Such grand agony behind this confession, only Prometheus Bound suffered more.
“If I’d cared at all for Kolchak, I wouldn’t have gone along with - I would have protested the lie we constructed around him. “
“What lie? “ I pushed severely, perhaps too harshly, but for a terrible twist in my already mangled insides.
“A falsehood which my wardens felt was necessary, to keep him on the path - dedicated to the quest. “
Prof exclaimed, his hands extended toward me in supplication.
“If he thought you were there to guide him, it might make things easier … “
“That’s why I couldn’t remember anything! “ I declared, mindful of Tanya’s remarks about Trust .
“You replicated a memory of me, as an enticement to keep that poor old man in line. “
“It was more than just smoke and mirrors, much more, what with Carl’s fantasies of you. He’d already built them up to a point where all the Gods had to do was … “
“And why would you go along with this? Betray the both of us? “
“Because I fell in love with you first! “he revealed with an anguished relief, everything out in the open now.
“It wasn’t long after we planted the deception that I finally understood how deeply he cared about you.
“I tried to warn him, dropped implicit clues as to the truth, That Carl Kolchak and Karen Klein were the same person. “
But still he believed I was his spirit guide, even at the end when he … “ I choked on the next words, even with Carl’s reassurances echoing in my mind - Echoing?
I felt the strangest shock intercede in my outrage, almost as if my departed benefactor had left me a wakeup call.
It was only the bare beginnings of an epiphany, but there was a chance at redemption for all concerned - if I followed up that is.
“You need to go. “
“I understand. “ his voice was meek, repentant, but clearly he didn’t glean the intent behind my request.
“I just need Time.” I told him calmly, a hint of future forgiveness in my voice, but not just yet. “Time alone with Carl, so I can figure out exactly how to feel - “
That rather sweet look of puzzlement almost made me smile, almost.
“Take all the time you need. “ he offered, as if it were a prospective wedding gift, conflicted as to whether or not to give into an impulse.
He didn’t, for which I was grateful.
“I’m not going anywhere. “
I wasn’t sure that was up to us, but I was ready to give it that old college try as I picked up the phone by my bed …
“What exactly are you after, darling daughter? “ Mom asked as she handed my laptop to me.
I scrunched my face instinctively at the endearment; it never failed to annoy me - which she damn well knew.
“A Happy Ending. “ I told her obliquely, keying up the summation of My Life, as it had been lived by that wayward old man. “At least the possibility of one. “
As I delved into the first entry, my mother recognized that look of instant absorption with some annoyance.
It effectively meant her daughter’s attentions would be elsewhere for some time to come, so wisely she choose to leave me be.
That was with some half heard declaration on her part that she’d be back at dinner time.
June 18th, 2005.
If and when this story hits the wire, the name within the byline will be quite different from the old war horse of a reporter, virtually at death’s door while covering the strangest event, ever to occur in the erratic history of my career. ‘
How easy he made it seem; the veteran reporter, his cool acquiescence toward the hand Fate had dealt us, typed out though it was with rose painted finger nails.
I could only imagine that I’d be climbing the walls soon after, had our places been reversed …
But reading further, hearing Kolchak recall our meeting, I felt a blush at his flattering tone when describing this much younger journalist.
Could I ever feel worthy of such praise - that I could’ve have been his child in truth, rather than an old mans fancy. Would that have changed anything for the better?
The last fleeting moments of my remembered Life, facing oblivion with this brash yet oddly self-effacing man beside me. It was the proudest also for him, evidenced by Carl’s reflections upon our combined leap into the abyss …
‘ It seemed that Karen and I were joined, on a level I couldn’t begin to describe, like two souls cast adrift, holding to one another by the barest fingertips. At the last, however, I felt her presence tear loose as a new force intervened. I could hear a distant echo in my mind, dwindling until only one word reached my battered psyche.
“Remember. “ ‘
As if I could, but Carl carried that reminder as a totem.
Then, as he realized those dubbed traces of my Life could only be revived by being my proxy, he dedicated himself fully to the quest.
I’m fairly sure that Carl didn’t consciously understand this, especially during Prof’s rather scathing response at first meeting.
‘The Professor paused to think, every so often giving me a half pitying glance which neither condemned nor consoled my bruised ego. It was odd that I felt less the hard bitten cynical reporter than a school girl waiting for an appropriate punishment from a teacher. But perhaps that would have been easier on me in the long run … ‘
This was something I puzzled over.
Carl; unbending before the Gods will, yet he’d seemed all too ready to acquiesce to a mortal man he scarcely knew.
I’d promised Carl we’d figure a way for he and Gail to meet.
Happening as it did, under such a bizarre juxtaposition of roles, I had to smile at the new Karen as she visited the parents at long last.
You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, but I would never have begrudged my heroic cynic his chance to experience Unconditional Love.
Still, it wasn’t quite what I was after here.
Mom showed up as promised; carting in Chinese Take-Out which cheered me up immensely.
To explain the moist cheeks, I shared with her some choice passages from last July.
“If I’d known at the time, I’d have been that much harder on him. “ she chuckled with a wicked indulgence.
"I’d have dressed him in something extra feminine. “
“Which apparently you did. “ I laughed deeply, at ease with the physical hurt it caused. As before, it was a good hurt.
‘I was wearing another of Mom’s little gifts. It wasn’t that tiny by bikini standards, but the pink coral pattern Bra and Panties still made me feel like I was performing for ’Girls Gone Wild. ‘ ‘
“And who’s to say she wasn’t ? “ I suggested cattily, eyes open wide at the descriptive soft-core deflowering, symbolic though it might have been, of this reborn Karen. “My God! Would Carl have spread for any cute guy? “
My more romantically inclined parent shook her head slowly, wondering at this dense reporter.
“Not if you care to read between the lines, sweetheart. “
‘The Professor, on the other hand, effectively undermined my developing feminine wiles at every turn. ‘
“A joke? “ I ventured, to which Gale vigorously responded in the negative.
“A Learning Curve. For both of them, though I don’t think Prof realized it at the time. A working relationship becoming Friendship - Not Long After moving into Full Blown Love. It was as I told you in December … “
“Which I wasn’t there for. “ I corrected her carefully, Mother flashing me a short apologetic look.
“And who can keep it all straight? Which pronoun to use? Who’s using whose body at the moment? Why did The Chicken Cross The Road? “
She pointed out something further on, about the time Carl introduced our erudite helpmate to the parents.
‘Mindful of Mom’s earlier critique I’d picked a nice azure satin blouse, a fitted matching dark blue skirt, slit discreetly from calf to lower thigh. I knew that my date appreciated it, and even trying to make him squirm, I felt cherished and protected.
‘As much as I cared for William, it wasn’t like I was planning to sleep with The Professor. Was it? ‘
“Just a helpful hint. If you’re that careful with your wardrobe for any man, and you’re well over the age of consent? Start picking out wedding patterns because you got it bad. “
“But that’s from Carl’s end. “ I complained to her. “What’s do we have on The Professor? To back up what he told me, that is. “
“Well, “ again Mom indicated an earlier item on the same section. “Is this helpful? “
‘ “I can’t absolutely say this means what you think it does. “ He cautioned, though more as gentle counsel. There was something more …. A layer I couldn’t quite read. “Still, I trust your instincts about this. Your Woman’s Intuition? I believe you’re on the right track. “ ‘
I was encouraged by this, though not quite the smoking gun I’d wished for. But it did suggest an early rebellion against his keepers.
But where was the love? When even Prof himself had said Carl was simply the means to getting me back.
In September, Kolchak had returned to Chicago at the behest of his former boss, and something extraordinary happened. For the first time since June, his learned guide seemingly abandoned him.
‘Not to belabor my unique position, but there was a moment of panic where my first thought was to call Home. My second impulse was to contact The Professor.
‘In all Honesty, neither option had anything to do with solving the problem … ‘
Mother always knows best, but there was a certain symmetry in the preferred order here; old girlfriend/parent over a potential lover.
‘I decided to call on a still relatively new ally, but for the first time he wasn’t there for me. Apparently The Professor was on some retreat, so I was forced to deal with his service. I left a message while contemplating this washout of a day. ‘
But it was after the burial of his former ego, and didn’t the Gods just leave duplicate corpses laying around all over? That was when Our Professor finally came through.
‘ “ - you were in more direct danger than I let on. “ He admitted sheepishly. “Which is why I also lied about having that information you wanted. I was too busy trying to get you some protection … “ ‘
And the next thing he said brought me closer to believing again.
‘ “ - it did give you room to move, to create your own destiny. At least for that moment. That’s one of several things I love about you … “ ‘
Was anything he told Carl the truth?
I found myself hoping that my read of people could be trusted as well. But if Prof didn’t mean exactly what he said here -
“And we get to my favorite part. “ Mom interjected mischievously as our fingers touched.
“The Holidays, Love in the air - what’s not to like. “ I agreed, even while a portion of my own ego felt envy toward everything my stand-in shared with our Knight in Shining Tweed.
‘ For all the foreplay and sometimes frenzied petting, we hadn’t bent the bed springs yet. Unlike my only other lover, I felt merely a patient humor from The Professor. ‘
I thought fleetingly of calling Prof ; to grill him mercilessly over our seduction.
But perhaps, as Carl described each tiny revelation, I’d do better reading between the lines.
It was clear to him, my sibling in spirit, our more tangible yet transformative mentor had met his match.
‘ I expected regret, but the way he held me, it felt more like relief … or release. ‘
Did he finally challenge The Gods on their own ground? Or had he simply taken his Ball and Gone Home?
For all this gushing adoration from the two of them, up to and including the awkward yet sweet proposal at Dilbert’s Tree Farm, these moments didn’t contain the miracle I was looking for - found my heart aching for.
I truly was a silly woman, it would seem, quietly yearning to make Prof the hero after all.
For this, even Mother seemed at a loss to help me.
“This isn’t a matter to be found in Text but rather Context, darling girl. “ she said at last.
“Sleep on it for awhile, trust in both your journalistic and feminine intuition. “
“And if that fails? “
“It won’t. “ Mom answered; with that ultimate confidence particular to parents.
“I’ll warn your friends off so you can rest. “
May 17th;
What a strange yet satisfying dream I’d had, sleep following easily behind it.
Upon waking at some ungodly hour, I buzzed The Professor only to find him pacing the floor of his room.
That alone made what I planned to say; as I summoned him to this gal’s bedside, so much easier …
The Dream;
Carl and I sat in that restaurant across from Janus ReGen, as he took in my deeply conflicted expression with a chaotic smirk.
“You really look like you stepped in it, youngster. “ he chortled playfully with a respectful undertone.
“But I’m also fairly sure you know the way out as well. “
‘Oh really? “ I snapped rudely, somewhat out of sorts with his contrary humor. “Try to be a little helpful here? This is partially your fault, in any case. “
“And how do you figure that, darlin? “ Kolchak retorted, still with that gleeful edge. “This was always about Your Life. You know? “
“Well, it was. “ my scathing tone didn’t lessened his enjoyment of my discomfort, nor the persistent notion that I’d been had. “But when you took it over … well, all bets were off after that. “
“And whatever happened to ‘I am You, and You are Me? ‘ “
“And We Are All Together, Coo-Coo Ka Choo.”
“Exactly. “ the dear old man nodded vigorously, as if to congratulate me on some grand insight.
“So even if you were there only as a reflection in my minds eye, the reverse - “
“Oh God. “ I moaned with mock gravity. “Does that mean I’m gonna wake up with a penis? “
“Nope, you’re still the Egg Ma’am. “ he quipped badly. “But we’re more than just the sum of our parts. Our own impact on other lives which intersect with us, and the countless little ways even a random stranger changes us. It’s not always obvious in intent. “
“So someone can do the right thing for the wrong reasons? “
“Or much worse, that person does the right thing, for the right reasons, but in a wrong way. Perhaps this individual inflicts an imagined wrong on another while doing the right thing for the greater Good - “
“And even if that were the case, “ I interrupted, pausing for a moment to allow our waiter to refresh our drinks. “we should just forgive everything? “
“The journey is more important? “ Carl let his sarcasm out for a walk, and it was a bulldog. “That’s a load of fertilizer. It’s the sum of those experiences which matters.
“Look it at it this way. You willingly stepped into the path of an oncoming Vortex, I freely chose to eventually take the deep plunge into Oblivion. “
“And The Professor did what? “ my doubts felt increasingly foolish under his direct inquisition. “Orchestrated your responses to everything, practically lead you by - “
“My short hairs? Figuratively, of course. You think that little of me, kiddo? No, I did everything out of the notion of you, the fine reporter you are, the beautiful woman, the - “
“Daughter of your old Flame. “ I finished for him, getting him now, and again I needed a Hankie.
“But our teacher in all things ethereal - “
“Was the sum of his parts. Like we all were. “ Kolchak concluded, seeing that I’d caught up at last. “I think the end result turned out rather well, don’t you? “
“But you’re Dead, Carl. “ I exclaimed; a tiny bit of outrage yet to excise, and he demolished it with barely a flick of his dry wit.
“People keep saying that, don’t that they? Still, even being just a memory, it holds a world of possibilities. So don’t count old Kolchak out just yet. “
“I won’t. “ I promised, sensing my impending transition from Dreaming into Sleep. “I’ll Remember everything. “
“Whatever Shape it might appear in. “ he added somewhat cryptically, before Carl Kolchak was relegated to the realm of fond remembrances.
As Prof quietly knocked on this lady’s door, he wasn’t sure exactly how to read my face.
I’d added a touch more color to my cheeks than before; hair freshly brushed, thanks to a helpful candy striper.
“You Look - Beautiful. “ he blurted out without consideration, clearly no longer that superior man I’d thought he was - oh so long ago. “I mean, you - “
“We’ll just leave it at Beautiful. “ I countered with an attempt at detachment. “I suppose my response would be ‘Thanks.’ “
“You called - “ he tried again, and this time I let slip a wide smile which technically gave the game away.
“And you came fairly quick, which I appreciate in this instance - only this once. Because, you see, we have a problem which needs to be resolved. A problem concerning someone doing a bad thing for the right reasons. “
“Which we covered yesterday. “ this newly baffled mythologist declared in a slightly wounded voice. “Is there something else … ? “
“Oh yah. “ I was laughing now, clearly lessening his hurt as I did.
“The Matter of an old man being allowed to complete his quest. A younger and sexier reporter realizing that people make mistakes. An ultimately ennobled teacher who learned to love both, though not in the way any of us expected - and would you just come over here and kiss me? “
Not another word was needed as that missing puzzle piece completed us.
I felt everything that Kolchak had ever experienced. Like - to Lust - to Love, a Lifetime contained in a single Kiss. Prof even managed some of his old charm, endearingly curious as he pulled back slightly.
“It’s Good then? “
“Let’s retest that theory, sir. “ I chuckled as we renewed all vows, made by any and all concerned parties during this strange adventure. And yet, there was only one last thing needed to be done to put this whole thing to rest …
August 4th, 2006
Cleveland, Ohio
Karen Foster Klein’s Journal;
So this is the Happy Ending to this Fairytale?
It would seem to be the case, wouldn’t it? as somehow I managed to survive that nearly fatal Bachelorette Party, getting a rather unique article out of it in the process.
Conspicuously Edited for general consumption, of course.
I’d heard a rumor that Hollywood had sent some inquiries through Dorothy’s offices, options for either the Big Screen or a Lifetime TV BOATS. Carl would be both pleased and suspicious.
All the Ladies survived with Life, Limb, and Dignity intact, save for our two college kids; as a few choice Las Vegas Face-book photos made the rounds on the Net.
Rochelle suffered slightly more than Natalie who mockingly referred to this incident as ‘Her Exotic Phase. ‘
As I suspected, Jenny and Gail began a serious friendship, and their long suffering spouses bonded as well - almost in self defense.
I’d yet to give Tanya the complete story, but she was alright with that at present.
As for her own investigations?
That was one of the things I discussed with The Professor, and he was prepared to confess everything.
No secrets of real consequence left between us - including that reveal concerning his true name, but be prepared to be disappointed.
Names have power, and my reasons for withholding are necessary for keeping the Gods (and other interested parties. ) off our collective backs.
The only serious downside; thus far, was the delay of our wedding by several weeks.
That was my doing, as I wanted to be in peak shape for the Honeymoon.
As Sam had so thoughtfully pointed out - Prof won’t know what hit him.
No loose ends concerning the indictment of Miles Albert Kern on multiple charges, too many to mention here, but the attempted assassination of this gal made a bigger splash than even I imagined.
Thus the interest from Tinsel-Town.
So that’s about it, as Tanya is leaning over my shoulder, wondering why the Hell I’m writing in this Damn journal on my wedding day.
I guess I’d better put a wrap on this ( at least for today )
November 23rd 2006
Oberlin College, Ohio.
Karen (Mrs. Prof, Gail’s Joke )Klein’s Journal;
Things I’m thankful for:
I’m writing this more for my wonderful Husband and myself.
I’ll scribble something else for the banquet table as I attempt to host my first Thanksgiving for our small horde.
This is what I’ve come up with thus far.
That we all got - not only what we wanted, but needed as well.
The Prof, his debts to the Gods paid in full.
Me, my Life back with a surplus of new benefits.
We even survived that little incident during our Honeymoon in Jamaica, a tiny hiccup before a return to some kind of Normalcy - but that’s another story.
Gail, for showing such unwavering support to both daughter and lover, during these decidedly supernatural events.
Tanya, our friendship put seriously through the wringer, but she proved it was meant to endure, even if a guy did come between us. Temporarily, of course. Does this sound too sappy?
All my friends and associates, and even some of my more paranormal acquaintances - with reservations, all of whom made this a Life most extraordinary.
And finally Carl Kolchak, dreamer, schemer, and pardon the joke - our redeemer, whose adventures might soon see the light of day. At least I have some ideas where that’s concerned.
But on this Day of Thanks, that wasn’t the real lingering affect from his unexpected interference, the grand final gesture.
No, it was a parting shot, some frustrating bit of cryptic which I didn’t understand; until a recent visit to my doctor.
I think I’ll share the good news with Prof first, and we’ll plan on giving everyone a welcome gift - Just in time for Christmas.
It’s important to understand this;
That while two souls couldn’t effectively inhabit the same body, it didn’t mean that Memory had nowhere else to go.
Just some Cryptic of my own, a parting gift for you; the patient reader.
‘Whatever Shape They Might Appear In. ‘ and with that, it seemed that Carl had the last laugh after all.
The End.