Between One Step and the Next
Between One Step and the Next, Part 1
Sam Wells sat on a bench and tried not to cry. He had just come from a frustrating meeting with a government agency and was debating in his head what he should do next. Months of underemployment had left him on the edge of losing his home, but nobody seemed able to help him.
He finally gathered himself, and looked around him. Across the street was The Arch, a rather unique work of art. It looked like two streetlamp poles placed two and half feet apart, on a concrete base. The poles were about ten feet high, and had decorative bowls on the top. The end result looked like an arch or a doorway, and Sam had always wondered what would happen if you went between the poles at the right moment.....
“Why not?” he thought to himself. He got off the bench, and walked toward The Arch. He put one foot between the two parts of the Arch …...
And stumbled out.
He felt horribly dizzy, unable to regain his footing. He felt like he was walking on stilts, and could hear a strange clicking sound as he walked. Then he looked down at his feet ….
He was wearing heels. Skirt and blouse too, from the quick glance down. He was just about to collapse when a young woman came up to him, took his hand, and eased him to the floor.
“Sam? You okay?” she asked.
“I .. I don’t know.” Sam said “I …”
“Let’s go to the washroom, and you can splash some water on your face, okay?”
She helped him up, and dragged him toward the ladies room He was too confused to object, and so he did as she suggested, and splashed some water on his face, and then took a look at his reflection. The woman in the mirror looked she had seen better days, but she wasn’t bad looking.
“I look like my sister, if I’d had one.” He thought.
The other woman asked him, “Better?”
He said, “I … I don’t know. You knew my name, but I don’t know you, do I?”
She searched his eyes, and said, “You’re … not kidding. You don’t know me?”
He shook his head.
“Okay. Now I’m scared. Let’s get you to a hospital.” she said, and pulled out a cell phone from her purse.
“Wait a sec.” Sam said, went to sit down on a bench outside the ladies room, and thought hard.
<”it happened. I really went …. somewhere when I stepped through the Arch. And in this place, I’m a woman, I guess. But If I and tell anybody that, I’ll end up in the funny farm. And there is … something about this woman. She …. seems to care about me, and that’s not something I had in my own world.”>
“Can .. can you take me home instead? Maybe stuff will come back to me in familiar surroundings.”
“Okay. Let me call your boss and mine, and we will go home.”
A short while later, the woman was leading Sam down to the parkade, and toward a small, sensible Kia Forte.
“This is yours?” Sam asked the woman.
The woman laughed, and said, “Its yours. The keys are in your purse.”
Sam fished for the keys and said, “One more thing. Can you … can you tell me your name? I know I should know it, but it wont come to me right now.”
Sam could see grief and pain on the woman’s face, and then added, “I.. I feel very safe with you, if that helps you feel better.”
The woman relaxed, smiled, and said “I’m Tina.”
Sam said, “Thank, you, Tina. For everything.” Sam found the keys, held them out. “you want to drive?” he asked.
Tina took the keys, and said, “You’re welcome. Come on, lets get you home.”
They didn’t speak much on the trip. Sam found himself reaching for the free hand of Tina, and then shied away. Soon, they were on the outskirts of town, and pulling into a small house.
“Is ….this where I live?” Sam said.
“Yes” Tina said. She pulled out a key, opened the door, and led Sam inside.
“Do you …. do you want to lay down?” Tina asked. “Or maybe I should make some soup or something?”
“Do I have a … comfortable chair?” Sam asked, “And maybe something to drink.”
Tina directed Sam into the living room, and sat her into a recliner. “I’ll get some tea started.” she said.
Sam kicked off the high heels he was wearing and wiggled his toes in relief. He noticed his toes were painted a florescent pink color, and shrugged at sight.
A minute later, Tina came back in with a hot cup of tea, and then sat opposite Sam.
Sam took a sip, and said, “Okay. As egotistical as it sounds, tell me about me.”
“Well, we’ve known each other for 6 years now. When I met you, you were a student at the University.”
<”That is the same as my world.”> Sam thought.
“What was I like then?” Sam asked.
“Kinda quiet and sad. Of course that might be because you were pretending to be a boy named Samuel.”
********
Between One Step and the Next, Part 2
Sam almost dropped the teacup.
“I .. I was WHAT?”
Tina giggled, and said, “I bet that sounds impossible, but its true. I had set up a booth to tell people about the meeting that night for gay, lesbian, bi, and transgender students. I watched you look at our poster, for like five minutes. Then you came up to me and asked if you had to be one of “those people” and I told you no, you could just come as you were.”
Sam closed his eyes, and remembered his own past. He had always had an ... emptiness, a feeling that something fundamental to his life had been denied him. He’d even been pretty sure it had something to do with his gender, his complete disconnection from anything that could be called “male.”
But he had buried this pain, covered it over, and tried to keep anyone else from guessing its source. He remembered seeing the poster, and for a moment being tempted to at least learn more. But in his own reality, he had felt a surge of fear, recalling how his father had reacted when he had made fumbling attempts to explore the issue when he was a kid.
In his own reality, he had walked away, gone to his dorm room, and cried. He then had berated himself for his weakness, and clung to his self-imposed misery like it was salvation. Eventually, the pain, the absence in his heart calcified, and the feminine voice within him became weaker.
But with its loss, he stopped really living, and only went through the motions of life. He became little more than a zombie, stumbling through his live, and it was that utter lack of hope which had finally led to the desperation that led him to walk through the Arch.
He looked at Tina who was watching him with love and concern, and realized this version of himself had made the better choice. He had obviously surrendered his pride, his need to prove to his father he was a man, and took a leap toward a future with the possibility of hope.
And it looked like whatever the cost had been, whatever hard days and sorrow he had suffered, this version of himself (herself?) had persevered, and come out the other side victorious.
She had a good job, a good home, a good life. And best of all she seem to have someone who had obviously stood with her, through bad times and good, and would see her through the rest of her journey.
“Sam?” Are … are you remembering?” Tina asked anxiously.
Sam made a decision. “I.... I remember how lucky I am to have you. The rest is … just details.”
Tina pulled Sam off the chair, and said, “Thank God. I … don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”
“I’m sorry Tina. I’ll …... try not to stay lost.”
Slowly, gently, Tina drew her into a passionate embrace. When Sam didn’t resist, she began to kiss her.
Sam melted into the kiss, feeling fire in her breasts and below her waist. Soon, they ware panting, and Tina pulled out long enough to say. “I.. I couldn't talk you into our bedroom, could I? I... I’ve heard sex is a great healer.”
Sam blushed, and thought, <”God.. .that kiss....”>
Then Sam had a spasm of guilt. <”But I’m not her Sam. Where did her Sam go? Is she living my old life? Do I have the right to take this Sam’s life from her? But could I go back to the hopelessness I left behind?”>
She began to cry.
Tina held her tight, and said, “Oh God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Sam shook, and said, “No I’m sorry. You are …. so beautiful and so kind, but I can’t.”
“I …. understand. Sam. I must seem like a stranger to you.”
Sam looked at this woman, who must be in such pain at the possibility of losing her love, and said, “It... it will be okay. Somehow, it’ll be okay.”
“I... I think I need some air. Maybe I’ll go to the local Chinese place and order supper for both of us, okay?” Tina said with a catch in her throat.
“O....okay.” Sam said.
When Tina had gone out and closed the door, Sam sunk into a chair and wept.
<“Okay. I... I got to think. I’m hurting Tina every second I’m taking her Sam’s place. But what do I do?”> Sam thought to herself.
She sat with her hands pressed against her temples, as if she could push ideas out. Finally, she said aloud “The Arch...”
******
When Tina came back, she said, “I’m sorry Sam. I brought your favorite to make it up to …” Tina looked around the silent house, and called Sam’s name. It was on her second trip around that she saw the note on the fridge.
It said; “I have to go back to the Arch. I hope that when I come back, I’ll be the me you remember. I don’t know much about this life, but I can see already how much the two of you mean to each other, and I have to do whatever it takes to get her back for you. I wish you both luck. Sam.”
Tina ran into the garage, and saw the car was gone. “Damit!” She shouted. She ran back inside, and picked up the phone. “Hello, Taxi.....”
*****
A short while later, Tina saw Sam’s car beside the Arch from her taxi, and asked the driver to stop. She got out, and saw Sam sitting with her back resting against one of the poles of the Arch.
“Sam!”: She shouted, running up to her “Sweetie, you scared me.”
She slowed as she got closer, and saw that Sam had tears running down her cheeks, and she crouched down to put a hand on Sam’s knee. “Sam?” What is it?”
“It … didn’t work. I …. can’t get your Sam back for you.” Sam said between sobs
“What are you talking about, Sam?”
Sam sighed, and said, “I’ve got a story to tell you, but you wont believe me...”
*******
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Between One Step and the Next, Part 3
Here is part 3, everybody. I'm hoping it hasn't been so long you guys cant remember what's gone on before ...
“I’m sorry Sam. You know how that sounds.”
“It … doesn’t matter. I guess I might as well go home with you.”
Tina stepped forward to help Sam up, and stumbled, She reached out, and grabbed one of the poles of the arch for support. and her eyes went wide. She started to fade from view, and Sam shouted “No!” and grabbed her hand.
The two of them hung between worlds for what seemed to Sam like an eternity.
A moment later she was laying on the ground with Sam holding her hand.
“Oh .. wow. Okay, I believe you.” Tina said.
“You okay?’ Sam asked.
“When I touched the Arch I... “
“I know.”
“I think I better sit down.” Tina said, and eased herself to the concrete.
“You’ll be okay, Tina. I have to try again.”
“Wait, Sam. Don’t!”
“Why not, Tina. I need to get your Sam back for you.”
“I didn’t just see two choices, Sam. I saw …. I dont know how many. There’s no guarantee you’ll be able to get back to your reality. We need a plan.”
“Like what Tina?”
“What about the University? There has to be someone there who might have some insight.”
“Then lets take Sam’s car and go.”
“Sam.... I … “
“Don’t worry. I know you’re worried about your Sam. We’ll get her back for you.”
“Thanks.”
Sam and Tina walked over to where Sam had parked the car, and got in. Driving to the University, Sam asked, “Who can we see, and what can we tell them?”
“One of my of old profs is married to a physics specialist.. He might know who might have some ideas, and he might be willing to at least listen to us without considering us a couple of kooks.”
“Worth a shot, anyway.”
They drove along in silence, and Sam kept peeking at Tina, and seeing her look back at her. <”God. she’s so beautiful.... The Sam of this word is a lucky woman. But this situation must be just killing her. I have to fix this, I just have to.”>
They parked at the University, and made their way to the Political Science department.
“You took Poli-Sci?” Sam asked.
“Oh, right. You wouldn’t know. I work in the Intergovernmental affairs office. I help coordinate efforts between the levels of government.”
“Cool.”
Tina smiled.
They went in the building, and found their way to the office of Tina’s former prof.
Her prof turned out to be a slim, tall woman with a wide smile she shared with them when she saw Tina.
“Good to see you, Tina. You too, Sam.”
“Lilith, we … need your help, and we have an unbelievable story to tell you.”
Lilith listened carefully, and then said, “Tina, if you were anybody else, I would think you were pulling some kind of a prank. But let me talk to my husband, and see what he thinks, okay?”
“What... what do we do in the meantime?” Tina asked.
“Just go home. I’ll call you tonight, no matter what.” Lilith said.
As they walked back to the car, Sam said to Tina, “I’m sorry for running off like that. I... I couldn’t bear being responsible “
“I understand. I .. I’m sure my Sam would have done the same. She’s so .. “ Tina began to tear up.
“We’ll get her back, Tina..”
“I am trying to have faith, but its hard.”
“If faith was easy, maybe it wouldn’t be faith.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t be.” Tina said, and then focused on the road.
They got back to Tina’s home, and ate the takeout Tina had brought home. After they ate, Tina said, “Do … you want the bedroom? I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No. I’m … the guest. I’ll take the couch.”
“Okay. I’ll.... get you a blanket and a pillow.”
Shortly, Tina returned with a blanket, a pillow, and a nightie. “Here” She said, “This one is … one of Sam’s favorites. I’m sure she’d want you to borrow it.”
“Th... thanks.”
Sam slipped into the bathroom, and examined her body. She saw that she was no supermodel, that she had flaws and signs of her transition, but overall...”I don’t make a bad woman. Nice to know, if I ever get back home.”
San saw Tina fighting not to look to hard at her as she came from the bathroom. She made her way quickly to the couch, wrapped the sheet around herself, and laid down.
Much later, she finally fell asleep.
*******
Between One Step and the Next, Part 4
Well folks, here is the conclusion of this story. Sorry it took so long, and sorry if its not up to my usual standards. As always, comments are appreciated.
When Sam woke, she had an inexplicable feeling of joy coursing through her heart. She floated into the bedroom, grabbed some clothes, and went to have a shower and get changed. After she was dressed, she came out and started making breakfast.
Tina came out of the bedroom, and said, “Something smells good …. Sam?”
Sam blinked, and said, “I’m …. I’m sorry. I …. it was like I was sleepwalking. I’m … sorry.”
“Its okay, Sam. But you made my favorite breakfast. And you obviously knew where my Sam’s work clothes were.”
“I.... I can’t explain it, Tina. It was like your Sam …. walked me through her morning routine.”
“Oh wow, Sam. You don’t think she’s . in you, somewhere?”
“I .. I don’t know. I just felt …. happy, and like I said, I knew what to do, without knowing how I knew.”
“That’s a little freaky. What do you want to do today?”
“I... I think I should go to Sam’s job. I... I think I can do okay at it.”
“All right. But if it gets too much, I want you to come home.”
“Th... thank you. I’ll … try not to let your Sam down.”
“I have a feeling you wont.”
Shortly, the two women went to their respective jobs, and Sam found the same thing she had at home. When she relaxed, she instinctively “knew” where things were kept and what the right procedures she was supposed to follow were. Plus, the inexplicable good feeling grew stronger as the day went along. A number of co-workers commented on her good mood, and teased her about getting lucky the night before, which made Sam blush.
She met up with Tina, and told her how her day went as they drove home, and Tina smiled, and said, “I’ve noticed. You’ve were … glowing this morning, and you look the same now. I .. I’m hoping that means good news for my Sam.”
“Me too, Tina.”
They went home, and ate a simple meal that Tina made.
“You are a good cook, Tina.”
“Thanks.”
As they were cleaning up, the phone rang, and Tina answered.
Sam heard her saying “Oh hello! Really? We’ll be right down.”
“What is it, Tina?” Sam asked
“That was Lilith. She wants us to come downtown to the Arch, right away.”
“Okay. You think she’s found a way for us to get your Sam back?”
“We can only go and find out.”
The two of them got in their car, and went down to the Arch. Lilith and an older man stood with her.
“Hello, Lilith. This must be your husband?” Sam asked when they got out of the car.
“Tobias is one of the countries experts in … unusual physics.”
“You are the young lady who came through from an alternate world?” He said.
“I’m surprised you believe me. I don't have any way to prove it.”
“Let’s just say I’ve been waiting for this.”
“I don’t understand. You’ve been expecting this?”
“Not this exactly, but the thing is, nobody built the Arch. No one can find a record of an artist, or approval for it being built. It … just showed up, less than 3 months before you did.”
“And nobody noticed?” Sam said.
“Did you, in your universe?”
“Point taken. I just assumed someone had commissioned it.”
“Most people here did too. I was the only one to guess there was more than met the eye when some instruments in my lab went haywire. A scan with a portable unit led me here, and some questions at City Hall led to the discovery that no one had authorized it.”
“Did you tell the authorities? Maybe it should be roped off, or something.”
“I tried. But with my only evidence being some readings in a system that no one but another expert would even understand, I didn’t have much luck. But nothing seemed to happen, and the readings went back to normal, until yesterday.”
“When I came through.”
“Exactly.”
“Okay. So, how do I get back? “
“Well, first, I need to know when you came through.”
“It was about lunchtime. About twelve-thirty.”
The older man opened a suitcase, revealing a large portable computer. it had a strange attachment, that looked like a Geiger counter.
“Awfully big, isn't that?” Sam said.
“It does a little more than most.” He said, and began working the keyboard. He then took the attachment and ran it over Sam, and then A few moments later, he said, “I believe the ‘doorway’ as it were, that leads back to your world will open back up at noon tomorrow.”
“I’ll be here, and I’ll try to go through then. I hope your Sam will come back at that time, Tina.”
“Thanks. I’ll be there too.” Tina said.
“I would like to be here as well, to witness it.” Said Tobias.
“I don’t mind.” Sam said.
“All right then. See you at noon.”
Tina and Sam waved, and then went back to their car.
“You really think it will work, Tina?” Sam asked as they drove home.
“Worth a shot.”
They got to their house, and Tina said, “Do you … want the couch again? You could … share the bed with me.”
“Wouldn’t that feel like you were cheating your Sam?” Sam asked.
“I … wasn’t thinking about sex. I was just .. I miss her. I miss her body next to mine. I miss the way she smells. I... “
“Okay, Tina. I understand.”
They got ready for bed, and Sam shyly eased herself in, trying not to stare at Tina’s beautiful body exposed in her nightie. Tina smiled, and said, “I can’t really understand what you are feeling. But all I want is to hold you. Can you handle that?”
“I... can, and will.”
The two women held each other tight until they both fell asleep.
****
Sam got up first, and followed the same routine as the day before. Tina then got up, and they shared breakfast before driving to work together.
“I’ll see you at noon, Tina. I mean, if you’re sure you want to be there for this.”
“I’ll be there.”
The morning crawled by for Sam. She still possessed the strange ability to remember this Sam’s routine, but as the day went on, she had more trouble keeping her spirits up.
“I guess its like dying.” she thought, “Whatever happens, I wont be in this world any more. I wish I could stay, but that wouldn’t be fair to this Sam, or to Tina. I … have to give up everything I’ve found here. I … hope I don’t funk this at the last minute. “
The next time Sam looked at the clock, it was time for her to go, and she made her way down to the street, and to the Arch. Tina arrived just after she did, and gave her a big hug.
“You worried?” Tina asked.
Sam was about to reply when she saw Tobias come up. He quickly set up his equipment, and then said, “If my calculations are correct, the surge should hit in two minutes. Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’m going to be. Tina I...I’m glad I met you. Your Sam is a lucky woman, and you can tell her I told you so.”
“Thanks, Sam. Don’t worry. you’ll be okay. I have to believe this all happened for a reason, so you’ll be okay.” Tina said.
“Thanks” Sam said. “I... I ..”
“No time! You must go, now!” Shouted Tobias.
“Here goes nothing.... “ Sam said, and jumped between the poles of the Arch.
She vanished.
Tina watched the Arch tensely. “Do you think my Sam will come back?” She asked.
Tobias looked at his machine and said, “I cannot guarantee she will, Tina. We have no idea what she has been through the last couple of days, or if she figures out when to come through.”
Tina opened her mouth to reply, but before she could a figure came through the Arch. It solidified, and Tina said, “Sam?”
Samantha smiled, and ran to Tina. She grabbed her, swung her around, and kissed her fiercely.
“Tina, I am so glad to see you ….” she said.
“Me too, Sam, me too.” They kissed again.
In his own world, in his own body, Samuel watched the reunion through the Arch, and then the Arch clouded. A moment later, there was no sign of a doorway at all, and Samuel turned away. He sighed, and made his way to his small apartment. When he got there, he went in, and opened the door to his bedroom. On his bed, he found a letter, and it read;
“Dear Sam, this is Sam. Yeh, I know how that sounds, but we no longer can disbelieve in the impossible, can we? I’m leaving this note for you, so you can know grateful I am, hat you’re doing, coming back here, and letting me go back to my home. Having walked in your shoes the last two days, I can really appreciate how tempted you must be to stay there. I wish I could do more to help you in this world, but the best I could do was leave you the numbers of some support groups. I’m hoping seeing how happy I am will make it possible for you to seek happiness for yourself. Its up to you, though, so good luck.”
At the bottom of the letter was a group of numbers starting with one for a local group dedicated to helping people with gender issues. Samuel looked at the number, and then went to the phone. He dialed the number, and said, “Hi. I need your help...”
*******
In another place, a woman sighed, and pushed away from a table. On the table were small figures. One was male, another female, but they looked remarkably alike despite that. The other figure in the room said to the woman, “I don’t understand that move, at all.”
“You are familiar with chess?”
“I don’t tend to play human games.”
“There is a special move, called castling. Its the only time you move two pieces at the same time. I did something similar with this switch. Both versions of Sam will benefit from their time in each other’s shoes, and each will have a greater impact on the game thanks to the experience.
“If you say so. But your opponent will not be idle, surely. He almost caused the loss of this … Tina person.”
“Indeed. But its a long game, and a lot of other pieces yet to be played. I have to believe this move will make a difference in time. ”
“You have more faith in these humans than I do.”
“Perhaps I see their … potential better. In any case, shall we retire and wait to see what my opponent does?”
“As you wish.”
Fin