Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian.

I stared at “that” tattooed on my arm through the haze of a hangover. Amy, my girlfriend or my on again off again girl friend was asleep mildly snoring on the other arm. And it was dead, no feeling in it completely asleep.

I tried to focus and dimly remembered her and her sister Nina and some of our friends getting really drunk last night at the carnival with the yummy mixture of 7-Up and lemon gin. There was a heavy metal like tricked out school bus out in the parking lot and the guy in it was doing tattoos.

I’m not so sure how my mom and dad were gonna take it. If I was lucky and if dad was lucky if you know what I mean then he might be in a good enough mood to just take the tattoo for what it says and laugh it off. Mom…oh yeah I can so see the list of chores piling up now.

Hell she’d definitely try this as a case for why I should be forbidden to see Amy anymore. Amy is my very first girlfriend and she went one of two ways. Y’know love her because I brought a girl over to the house for her to meet or hate her because she’s bad for me.

She’s pretty dead set on disliking Amy. It’s kind of insulting that she can’t figure out why Amy’s going out with me. I get it I do. I’m short about five foot five and I weigh just around one hundred and thirty pounds. I’m skinny like most of the family but that’s sort of compounded on the fact that I’m into sports.

No I’m not the skinny geek you see on so many of these stories, I’m small but I’m a jock I guess. I play soccer because it keeps me in awesome shape for my main sport. And being a North Jersey boy naturally that’s hockey. I’m a right winger. Actually I play a lot of stuff just Hockey is my thing. I love baseball too. I had to drop it though because of my class schedules. I hated that and so did dad but mom was really not gonna give on that point and I had to drop the team. I still go to games with dad, y’know support the guys and all of that and the first thing we to on summer vacation is go to a Jackals game. Then it’s off to the grandparents place for the summer here in Ocean City. I still go with dad to the batting cages and we still pick up a pack of baseball cards every time we stop anywhere for gas.

I wasn’t tall enough to compete on the court in basket-ball even though I’m fast and actually not bad I’m better at street ball though and then there’s the fact unless you’re really good in basketball and football or really big then the teams for those are mostly made up of black kids. And despite what a lot of people are going to say there more than a few parents and a few other unsavory members who really object to a white kid taking a spot on those teams from they’re kids. Actually the guys on the teams themselves aren’t too bad. But really the whole black on white thing hasn’t been a huge issue since 911.

It’s really too bad, that people can be such idiots. Not all Islamic people are terrorists and there’s a huge difference between Arab nations and Hindu types. But there’s a lot of people who like to make themselves feel better by shouting stuff and putting other people down. I’m not really into all of that. But Patterson can be a messed up place to grow up. But I bet everyone can say that about their hometown.

I Like Ocean City even though it’s not much of a city. Mostly a tourist trap but it’s cool because every summer the whole fam-damnly gets together here and we have a pretty good time.

My Uncle Charlie has a RV dealership in Trenton and he’s provided six of those tent trailers the wind up kind over the years for all of us older kids to sleep in. Amy was a local girl who I’ve been hooked up with since we were thirteen. I’m fifteen now and still kind of look like a fifteen year old, it kind of sucks but it doesn’t bother Amy. I’m lucky as shit really Amy is five seven and is a real looker with big d cups and a smoking hot body. She could have any guy she wants but she’s with me because well one, I’m blessed in the guy department, two I’m a jock and a really good hockey player and three her dad’s a felon, a lifer because he shot a cop and someone else when she was two and he was trying to rob a bank. It’s done stuff to her head and like I said she could have anyone she wanted she just doesn’t fit into the regular person slot. She’s a wild girl, really wild. The first night we met we “hooked up” I know she see’s other guys while I’m away the rest of the year but she’s right there on our patch of beach waiting for me when I arrive.

Mom really doesn’t like her.

I hear grand-dad blow his air horn to wake everyone up for breakfast and I get out of bed and try to work some life back into my hand and arm. I grab my surf shorts and go commando and head to the old garage where dad and my uncles had built us all a set of shower stalls and even a set of his and her bathrooms and a double set of old second hand washers and dryers.

Family vacation rules, the parents are on vacation too. You do your own wash, you earn money by either getting a summer job or signing up for one or more of the chores that are on the sign up board. Actually it’s a bunch of post it pads with the chore written on them and you pull it off with the date on it. You can, make some good cash that way and the parents don’t really have to do much. It really sucks because the kids with their licenses get some of the better jobs. But I get to do that next year.

I walk to the garage and the first damned thing my big brother Jax grabs my arm right by my still very fresh tattoo. “Hey Dylan, what the fuck is that?”
I push him off and take a swing for his head, he ducks it and I catch him with a good shin kick to the meat of his back thigh.
“It’s a tattoo Jack-off, what’s it look like?”

“Ow, fuck…little bastard, Mom’s gonna have a cow yanno.”

“Good we go through enough frigging milk here we need one. Yanno plus BBQ”

“Dude you just said we were gonna eat mom…”

We both kinda look at each other and make faces. And kinda make retching sounds together. Our cousins look at us as we enter and ask “Hey, what’s so funny?”

Jax jabs his thumb my way and grins. “Dill-hole here go his mind in a really filthy hole this morning and talking about eating mom.”

There was a collective bunch of “eeews” and “sicks” from the ensemble in the garage we’ve nick named the spa. Jax and I laugh our asses off. My brothers not a bad guy actually, and we get along surprisingly well. We still call each other names, play fight, and do stuff together. I’ve got a big sister too Jane, to Jane I really don’t exist unless she wants something, hell she ignores most of the family unless she wants something. She the girl of the family and she’s spoiled rotten. Me, I’m the baby of the family.

Well of my family, I’m kind of in the higher end of the middle the kids of the family. And this morning me having a tattoo has just gotten me shifted up a few cool notches.

It’s these almost spray tag shaped letters with “Don’t Blame Me” over-top of a flying saucer then under it is “I’m a Martian” the letters are in blue green and the saucer is blue silver and there’s a murky tinted dome with a pair of lime green alien eyes looking out of it there’s a band that goes around the whole thing made up of stars.

It’s bloody and still kinda gross looking which gives me cool points to the younger kids and they want to touch it. It’s kinda fun feeling like one of the big kids. Only the older guys in the family look at it and smirk and grin and says that explains a lot.

Then Dad saw the tattoo as I joined the line for breakfast. He looked at me and then looked at me again. “I though that you looked a little hung over this morning Dylan, but judging from what I see on your arm you’re definitely hung over.”

“Yuh- huh…still don’t remember getting it.”

“Not good seeing how long something like that’d take. Amy’s idea?”

“No mine, Amy was just there, I can think for myself.”

Jax goes passed and punches me in the ribs. “Yeah and we all know what head was making the decisions last night.”

“Ow! Fucker…”

“Language! Jax! Dylan!....Dylaaaan? What is that on your arm?”

Mom.

Craptastic…

“Uhm it’s a tattoo.”

“I know it’s a tattoo, don’t be flip with me. I want to know what a tattoo is doing on my baby boy?”

“I got it last night at the fair.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Were you drinking?”

“Yeah some, but so was a lot of people.”

“My fifteen year old son isn’t a lot of people, my fifteen year old son is way too underage to be going anywhere near booze.”

She’s pissed and staring me down. She’s giving me that look. That cop look. Yeah mom’s a cop. And she looks really pissed off her arms crossed and the whole bit. Then she looks over to the tent trailer that I use and storms off towards it on the literal warpath.

“Oh, I know who’s behind this fucking fiasco. I’ll tear her head off for this!”

“Mom!” I take off after her trying to head her off before she gets to Amy and does something to ruin a perfectly good relationship. Or sort of relationship.

She gets to the door of the tent trailer and yanks it open. And jumps inside. “Amy!”
I’m yelling. “Mom!” I really lucked out or rather Amy did, she was gone. She split, outta there, sayonara. But that leaves Mom glaring at me. “Dylan…Three hundred dollars.”

See in my family, you don’t get grounded, you get fined. “What?! No way!”

“Three fifty.”

“Mom!”

“Four.”

I lower my head and mumble. “Fine, three.”

“Oh no, sonny Jim it’s four.”

“Dam…” I stop myself before I end up in contempt of parent. God I’ll be forever paying that off. I hate not being sixteen, if I was sixteen I could get a summer job and pay her off sooner. At this rate I’m literally going to be the family slave.

This really isn’t helping my hangover.

Breakfast turned out okay with like the exception of my mood and my upset stomach. I sign on to do the dishes and spend close to two hours doing them, washing, drying, and scraping the bbq grills. I’m kind of not feeling okay and I’m sweaty and dirty and have dish-pan hands. I sign up for taking the garbage out and even to mow the bad sections of the lawn. Yeah we’ve got bad sections, you know those places where the lawn wasn’t a lawn a few years ago they just bush mowed it and tossed a ton of grass seed over it to choke out everything that used to live there. Its hell on you if you’re in sneakers or sandals I’m smart enough to slip on a pair of work boots. I swear that they weight twenty pounds each by the time that I’m done the lawn. Then raking…By lunch I’m ready to toss my cookies at just the thought of food.

The smell of hot dogs is actually making me feel sick to my stomach. I head to my tent trailer and strip the beds and get my laundry and head to the Spa and toss my stuff in the laundry and go take a shower.

My chest feels sore and my nipples are feeling a bit puffy? I still don’t feel well. I just dry off and sit on the old sofa there for awhile. I still don’t remember falling asleep. Jax wakes me up and I stare at him blearily.

“Hey, wake up dill-hole.”

“Huh...what?”

“Wake up Dylan it’s supper time?”

“No…it’s dinner.”

“No dipstick it’s almost seven in the evening, you’ve been crashed here for like six hours.”

“I have?”

“Yeah, are you alright?”

“No, I haven’t been feeling good all day.”

I look at Jax and rub some of the sleep out of my eyes. Jax is giving me a funny look. “You are you looking like dogshit on the freeway, C’mon I’m taking you to Aunt Jane.” He helps me off the couch and helps me walk to the main house where everyone is lining up for supper. Again the smell of food is not helping me out any. Jax yells “Aunt Jane! We need some help here!” as a cramp hits me and folds me over.

Then everything spun on me and then there was darkness, darkness only broken up by these weird Technicolor dreams. I see me and Amy partying, us hanging with her and her friends and some of the touristy kids. I flash on us dropping some E and there was some pretty wild dancing and stuff in the moon bounce at the carnival getting us kicked out.

I remember standing up and mooing people on the roller coaster. Then getting in a fight with the guy who stopped the ride. Oh I was kind of being an asshole.

Then walking with Amy on the beach making out when we found this strange necklace, it washed up over my sneakers and it had this flat diamond shaped piece of metal in it and a big what looked like a sapphire in it. I think it glowed when I touched it. Amy loved it and I gave it to her and she started going on about how it’d be cool at the next rave party she went to. But the light went out when I passed it to her. I took it back when she complained about how she might not be making it work right.

I remember staring into it and hearing voices and seeing nothing but blue light until Amy took it away. It went out, she made fun of me for tripping out and I tossed it in the closest trash can.

Weird funky dreams and memories huh?

Then next thing I know I’m inside the main house on the couch with my Aunt looking over me and there’s a damp cloth on my forehead.

“Dylan? Dylan are you still with us?”

“Uhm Yeah…” My voice comes out a croak…Jeezus I’m dry. “What happened, what’s going on?”

“Honey we don’t know? But you look like you were getting pretty sick on us, like a major case of the flu but worse, your temp rocketed there and stuff but we’ve gotten it down and the fever’s broken. You seem okay now but we’re taking you to the hospital.”

“The Hospital, why?”

“We’re not sure what happened but uhm, you’ve been really sick and uhm it looks like you were like allergic to something.”

“Allergic?”

“Yes you were really sick kiddo and there’s some weird swelling going on.”

“Weird swelling?” I’d gulp if I could but I’m really dry.

“Yes honey.” She kind of gently rubs my left nipple area and it’s tender. I look and even through my T-shirt it’s well both of them are puffy and sore.

“I thought it was like the detergent or something.”

“It might be and we thought of that so we’re bringing it with us.”

She looks worried and Dad and Mom look worried which actually gets me worried and some of the others that are around talking and stuff. They’re scaring the hell out of me by the way they are looking at me and I hear them tossing around lovely words like meningitis and stuff. Jax and Hillary both come with us following us to the hospital in Jax’s Firebird.

Then there’s the waiting and Aunt Jane is talking to them about my fever and stuff and that I was babbling and making all these really strange sounds and everything.

Then it’s lab work and a trip to X-ray and then into the ER/OPD department where the doctor on call gives me a going over. God it’s all kinds of embarrassing when I’m there with my shirt off. My nipples and the area around them are all puffy and swollen and it just looks freaky.

Then there’s some more tests…The doctor calls some other doctor…

My stomach starts to growl at me and with the doctors okay saying it’s not allergies Dad has Jax and Hill make a run to Burger King for everyone and to Crispy Cream doughnuts.

I’m blissfully chowing down on my fries and my three whoppers when I overhear Mom and Dad talking to the three yeah scary freak me out three doctors.

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Bishop we can rule out any allergies. Dylan doesn’t really seem to be allergic to anything as far as we’ve tested.”

My Mom. “So why the fever?”

The Doctors. “We’re not sure, we think that part of it might be a toxic reaction or something that came about from his drug use.”

“Drug use!”

“Yes we found trace amounts of Ecstasy in his system.”

Dad… “Honey…he might have had it slipped to him.”
Mom… “That little bitch Amy, when I get my hands on that little skank…”

The doctors… “Mrs. Bishop, that’s still incidental.”

Mom… “What?…What’s wrong with Dylan?”

The Doctors… “What we found is that Dylan is flooded with female hormones. We’ve checked and rechecked and there’s all indications that Dylan is intersexed. We won’t know more until we do and ultrasound to check things out and then there’s a test we want to do to look at his chromosomes.”

Dad… “But it sounds like you’re pretty sure.”

The Doctors… “It’s a rare disorder but one that is being detected more and more as we get better at seeing the signs. We have seen it before though. We’d like to know if there’s anything like this in your family history.”

There’s some silence.

Then some more silence.

I get up and get closer to the waiting room door. I’m intersexed? What the hell does that mean? I’ve got female hormones running through my body? How? Why? I brush against the wall just kind of wrong…ouch!

Oh…Oh…Oh…crap, It kind of hits me right then. It’s not swelling, it’s not an allergy…

I’m growing boobs.

Then I hear it…I hear mom say it.

“Dylan’s adopted.”

And…that’s when I fainted…

Just like a girl.

Don’t Blame Me I’m a Martian-2

Chapter-2

At first it’s dark and then there’s this swirl of things flashing around me in the way they catch you up on TV for a show by showing you stuff from all the shows before. Then it hits me. As my show starts up.

I’m adopted?

I’m growing boobs…?

I wake up in bed with this guy in my bed, he kind of looks like Hayden Christenson? The dude who played Anakin Skywalker…He leans over and kisses me. What the fucking hell! I’m getting kissed by a guy! I try to push him off and a giggle escapes my lips.

…A giggle?

“Morning honey, what do you want for breakfast?” He asks me his blue/grey eyes staring deeply into mine.

“Uhm…” My voice is high pitched and girly and the way it comes out I might as well be saying “d’uh.”

“You’re so hot Dylan baby.”

Again I giggle.

Hayden starts to rub my chest and it feels so good, a bit itchy but good and oh, oh crap my boobs are swelling. It feels so good and I can stop him and the more he rubs and plays with my boobs the more they grow and swell up, A-cup, B-cup, C-cup, D-cup, DD-Cup, DDD-Cup I don’t want this!

JJ-Cup!!!

Finally I wake up screaming and the first thing I do is have this hysterical nightmare reaction and slap my hands to my enormous jugs just like that kid from Home Alone.

Hard…Okay I was dreaming and I might be growing these little booblets and stuff so it might not be the same as like my mom or my sister but the pain…

Cut to the scene where the kid from home alone slaps the aftershave to his face.

Cut to the scene in real time panning back from the hospital I’m in and some guy out in the parking lot hearing my scream on super never felt before unintended pain.

Several things happen all at once.

I scream. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Then “Fuck!” and curl up around myself on the stretcher.

Hillary shoots here diet coke out of her nose from where’s she’s sitting or was where she was sitting.

Jax starts laughing at me finding it apparently too funny to breathe as he’s doubled over in his chair. I hurt, I’m upset and he’s thinking this is funny! He gasps out “Dylan’s growing boobs!” even curled around myself I yell out “Fucker!” and kick him in the forehead.

Mom yells. “Jax! Dylan! Stop it!”

I yell at her. “Fuck you! I’m not you’re kid!”

Hillary yells. “Dylan!” and Slaps me across the mouth!

I Slap her back.

Dad…Dad thunders. “ENOUGH!!!”

Dad doesn’t yell, or raise his voice hardly ever. We all shut up and stare at him.

“Hillary, Jax outside your mother and I need to talk to your brother. Dylan, calm down and just listen. Honey sit down and stop getting so wound up over this.”

Hill and the dick leave and Mom looks at Dad and then me and then him looking like she was going to say something but Dad just gives her this look that I don’t recognize and she bites her lower lip.

“Okay Dylan, I’m taking that you were eavesdropping at what we were talking about with the doctors.”

I cross my arms over my chest then realize just what that looks like and put my hands down and grip the sheets into fists. “Yeah, I’m adopted…What the hell you guys, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“We didn’t tell you because we never really thought it’d become an issue.”

“You didn’t what about my medical history? I mean do you have any clue to who my real parents are? Where I’m from? I mean it just made my whole life a frigging lie!”

Mom speaks up and she’s quiet this time and she’s crying a little which hurts and freaks me out because as much as dad’s easy going Mom’s the hard-ass in the family crying isn’t really her deal unless something really bad happens, like on the job and stuff. She even reaches over and takes my hand.

“We actually found you here in town during one of the family gatherings. There was a storm one night and the next day your Dad and I took some time away from your brother and your sister to just go for a walk on the beach and do some beach combing. We saw a lot of wreckage floating in the water and on the shore when we heard a baby crying. You had somehow made it through the storm and were floating in one of those insulated plastic food coolers like for picnics.”

Dad continues. “You were still pretty sick and you nearly died from exposure and you were flown to Albany to the emergency infant care and were in the hospital for like five weeks. Your mom just couldn’t stay away and she had even flown there with you in the medivac chopper. We looked for your parents but all we could find was a few baby things in the wreckage and that’s it. The police and the coastguard and people looked for your family but there wasn’t any bodies found, nothing to say where the boat was from and even the FBI looked and checked with the finger prints and footprints and everything you didn’t have anyone and You’re Mom was there all the time and when you got better we took you home adopting you as our own.”

I’m crying a little too now. Mom was really there for me and she’s not like that a lot of the time so it’s kind of a touching thing really. But there’s also this kinda sense of bereavement too over losing something that I never really had and in all honesty won’t likely ever have.

Mom moves from the chair to the bed and hugs me, Dad takes the other side and they both hold me as I cry. I don’t cry for long but I do cry. I look at them. Dad gives me one of his golden smiles and mom even smiles a bit too. “So what now? What’d the doctors say?”

Dad adjusts the way he’s sitting and looks at me in his I’m not gonna bullshit you way.

“They said that you’re developing breast tissue, that after they took a few samples and stuff that they’re sort of…stumped. The best thing they can come up with is something called Chimeraism.”

“What the hell’s that?”

“Well it’s when there’s twins in the womb and something happens that one twin actually absorbs the other one or something and you get some pretty odd things that can and might happen.”

“Like What?”

“Well like the tests that they’ve done show that they think that different parts of your body are just that different. There’s some evidence that these parts are like if you had transplanted tissues from your identical twin sister. You’re a perfect match for these organs and parts but some of them are actually genetically female.”

“Oh, holy crap…”

Mom nods. “It’s really rare and usually comes with a whole lot of health problems but other than what you’ve started to go through you’re in really good health honey, it could be worse.”

“What I’m going through?”

“You’re starting to go through puberty and some parts of you are going to start to mature like a…”

I hang my head. “Like a girl.”

She nods and hugs me. Dad rubs my leg a bit soothingly. I look at them both. “So do I have like other girl bits?”

Mom shakes her head. “They just got some of the test results back and while you were passed out they did an ultra sound but they didn’t find any womb or ovaries or tubes or even a vaginal canal or anything that was out of the ordinary like that. Some of your bone structure is definitely female including your pelvis. So you’re going to have an unusual built to say the least and they have no idea how or why you’re producing the levels of female hormones that you are but they’re equally confused at the amount of male hormones you’re producing as well.”

“Huh?”

“Well it’s like both sides of your genetically differently gendered parts are getting the right stuff and somehow their not interfering with each other.”

“Oh…” I still don’t really get all of this, and I’m really kind of freaked right out and everything. I look at them both. “So can they get rid of them, the boobs I mean?”

Mom nods. “They don’t really advise it but they say once they figure that they’re done growing then it might be safe enough to perform a mastectomy operation.”

“What!, they can’t give me like male hormones or something to me to like shrink them down or stop them or something?”

“No we already asked about that and they’re so unsure of what would happen if the introduced foreign hormones on you at this stage of the way that you’re developing and they’re afraid of some major side effects.”

“Side effects?”
Dad looks at me. “Cancers or worse it might effect some or your organs in a way that they don’t know, it could even shut something’s down.”

I stare at them both. “And they’re not going to cut them off.”

Dad shakes his head no. “They really don’t want to try any kind of medically unneeded surgery until they’re sure you’re done growing.”

“So I’m a freak.”

Mom hugs me. “No Dylan you’re not a freak. You’re our son who we love very much and we’re going to help you through this every step of the way.”

“I’m growing boobs mom boobs…and I’ve got girly bones and I’m never going to fit in anywhere am I?”

“We never know what life’s going to bring and throw at us Dylan; things could be a lot worse.”

I close my eyes and lay back of the propped up stretcher back. The thing is that I know it’s true. We’ve got some kids back home that are really messed up compared to me. I mean I’m not in a wheel chair, I’m not going blind or deaf and I’m actually in pretty good heath considering everything. The thing is, really…I mean really. I’m just growing up. If I’m born this way then It’s have happened anyway right? I’d have never been able to change it so…I guess I can live like this, I mean until we know more. I guess I can stop freaking out now.

I keep my eyes closed because it helps just to deal with everything but I ask. “So now what, more tests?”

Mom answers. “Yes honey, they want to take samples to see just what’s what in your body and try to get a better picture of how things are going and what parts of you are uhm…”

I nod eyes still shut. “They want to figure out what parts of me are a boys and what parts of me are a girl right?”

Dad says. “That about sums it up right Dylan.”

I nod again. “If this is like rare right isn’t there some kind of study or research thing that they can put this under that it’ll get like paid for and stuff?”

Dad says. “That’s not a bad idea Dylan; we’ll have to look into that.”

I smile and look wanly at mom. “Female intuition I guess.”

She stares at me, and stares at me then she snorts and starts to laugh. I can’t help but to smile because this is the first time I’ve really gotten that reaction out of her. Dad’s laughing too but Dad’s always had a good sense of ha-ha. Even I start to laugh. Until we’re all kind of spent and emotionally drained.

Mom stays with me while dad goes to talk and have words with Hillary and Jax. I know our fight seemed kind of extreme to some people but we’re siblings. Okay I might be fifteen but Hill’s only eighteen and Jax is seventeen so there’s not a lot of age difference between the three of us.

We do apologize to each other and Hill and I actually cry over me and her slapping each other. I mean she’s slapped me before because I mean she’s my sister but this was the first time that I’ve actually slapped her back.

She looked at me her eyes red and her cheek too.

“I’m sorry Dylan I just didn’t really get just how serious this was and just how freaked out you’d be.”

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have slapped you.”

“Its okay I slapped you first with what you said to mom.”

“It’s not okay, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Mom chimes in with. “It’s alright this time but only this time, Hillary be easy on Dylan he’s all hormonal.”

“Mom!!!” I shout at her and instantly turn red. Both her and Hill are laughing together and I…I …I could freak out but instead I lean back and do the whole face to my palm thing. “God I need a Midol.”

Both Dad and Jax shout “Dylan!”

Don’t Blame Me…I’m A Martian-3

Chapter 3

I’m in here way too long.

Three days, I’m in here and they’ve run every test they can think of at the moment for their “Doctor-Like” interest. They don’t have a clue as to why I’m the way I am past the whole chimera thing and there’s been tests on most of my major organs and I swear they’d have opened me up just to take a better look.

Yes I’m pissy; it’s apparently my time of the month.

Yeah, my hormonal levels are right along side of a pubescent teen girl having her first bout of PMS. Oh never mind the fact I don’t have the ovaries so they’ve got no clue as to how but yeah…cramps, temperature, bloating, and this wild see-saw of emotions that makes me feel like a goth kid on crystal methe and ecstasy. Oh and apparently my boy bits are of a size they shouldn’t be considering the female hormones that’s in my body. It should be smaller but it’s not. Yeah great fun having these assholes playing around with my junk.

The dreams are helping either.

First there’s the me morphing into a girl nightmare and that’s usually all out of proportion. Scary really scary stuff when you are that freaked by it that you can feel your boobs getting bigger and sort of feel and know you’re getting dumber and more like some stupid bimbette. I’ve woken up from those twice now freaked out and in a panic, checking to see if my boobs got bigger overnight.

No, they haven’t. There’s just this hardness underneath this bit of jiggly flesh that’s starting to form. Oh their boobs alright, you can sort of notice them. You can really notice them if I turn sidelong. There’s two slightly curved bumps there now. And they ache, they’re sore and they’re itchy.

The second dream is more personal and more disturbing really. It’s me and then there’s this room or at least there’s this wall of windows and on the other side of it I see myself only it’s not myself but my twin sister. Yeah the one that’s part of me that I absorbed in the womb. I can look through the windows and see this alternate world that might have been her life.

Only she’s me, because in her life her name is Dylan as well. So it’s her other life but it’s me if I was her? Yup really psycho-babble stuff going on there. And I’m not telling anyone about it because the tests are more than enough I really don’t need to be seeing a shrink. I only had this dream once and we ended up looking at each other and there was this whole moment where she was looking at me and at my life with this whole…if only kind of longing in her eyes.
I’m more than ready to get the heck out of here when Mom comes to pick me up with Hillary in tow. No Dad, No Jax just the two of them? The what’s up feeling starts to slowly congeal as we leave Ocean City and start to drive to Atlantic City just twenty minutes away.

“Uhm, Mom? Why aren’t we going back to the cottage?”

“We’re going shopping Dylan there’s things that you’re going to need if this keeps the way it’s going.”

Hillary grins from her spot riding shotgun. “Hey it’ll be cool Dylan; we can have a girl’s day out.”

I give her the finger. And she cackles at me. I look to mom not at all amused. “I’m not a girl; I don’t need to go shopping for girls shit.”

“Stop saying shit Dylan. There’s some stuff you need to have until you get to the point where they’ve stopped growing and you can get surgery.”

“Surgery! WaddayameanSurgery!”

“Well I just thought that you’d not want to go through your life with a pair of breasts. I thought as soon as they were done growing in you’d be wanting a mastectomy.”

“No way! I’m not getting anything clipped, snipped or tucked!”

“So you can live with having breasts?”

“I dunno, but I’m not getting stuff cut off that I don’t need cut off.”

Hillary chuckles. “So sis, welcome to being a girl.”

“I’m not a girl!” I snap at her.

“Yeah well guys don’t have breasts.” She shot back with this smug grin on her face.

“I’m not a guy either or didn’t you hear the fucking doctors Hill, I’m neither! I’m a freak!” I’m crying, I don’t want to but the faucet’s been turned on and it just won’t stop until it stops. Goddamed Hormones…. “(Sniffle) Goddamned Hormones.)

Hillary looks at me her expression gone from teasing to thoughtful to oh shit I fucked up in a few moments. “OhmyGodDylanI’msosorry!” she’s tearing up too which is making mine worse and we’re both sniffling and I look at her and ask. “Hill?”

“Yeah Dylan?”

“Does this mean you’re gonna start looking at me and treating me like a sister?”

“(Sniffle) Yeah, maybe, I dunno.”

“So it’d be cool if I acted like a girl around you? Like a Sister?”

“Yeah…sure!” she’s kind of smiling now obviously getting cheered up by the idea.

I reach ahead to where she’s sitting in the front seat and give her a light slap in the face more to shock her than to hurt her, I wouldn’t do that. I grin at her. “Cunt.” And I say it in the way that only a sister could say it to her sister.

Mom has to stop the car and pull over to the curb she’s laughing that hard as Hillary is first completely shocked as shit then as the car stops she crawls over the seat to get me. She’s lightly hitting me calling me stuff like Skank and Bitch and it kind of ends up in a bit of rough housing and a tickle fight, right about then she hits me by accident? Right in the left boob, or starter boob.

Wow…In a bad way.

It’s not like it but at the same time…it’s very close to getting hit in the nuts. The pain isn’t reduced by the “padding” no it hurts like every nerve just screamed WTF and there’s more nerves and blood vessels and the blood rushes into the areas effected to combat the swelling, it’s a swelling that seems to push the pain all at once like a backlash from the impact and seems to concentrate on my nipple making it ache.

“Ow, goddamn it my tit!” I yell.

“Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit sorry Dylan, shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hit you there that hard.”

I just kind of curl up a bit holding by now my throbbing breast kind of gasping. “Oh crap, Oh crap. Oh dammit that hurts, I never though it’d hurt that much.”

Hill’s rubbing my back winching in sympathy. “I’m sorry I really didn’t mean to hit you there.”

“I know, I believe you but wow, holy crap that sucks. It’s okay Hill let’s just not do that again any time soon.”

“Deal, I know how that feels, heck most guys have no clue as to how that feels.”

“Not too far from getting kicked in the stones actually sis.”

“Really? Oh, ow…”

“Yeah really, actually getting kicked in the stones has a more deep gut kind of hurt like that ache that hurts so bad that you want to hurl and fades away after a bit. Getting tit wacked is a sudden pain that rises to a painful ache and throb that fades but in a different way. Both really, really suck.”

Mom turns in the seat to look at us. “Good, now you both know stuff that you should know about when it comes to getting hit in private areas. Dylan you need some of the things we’re going to get. You’re growing and there’s a lot to being a girl or having some of the girl issues that you’re gonna have okay?”

I nod. “Yeah…okay.”

Hillary gets back into the front seat and we don’t actually go into Atlantic City instead we take the exit that leads us to The Shore Mall over in Egg Harbour. We get a parking spot and head into the mall and I’m dreading the entire affair. We go to store after store looking way more than buying except for the hyper embarrassment of being in the women’s clothing sections and my sister having way too much fun buying stuff with the money that she’s saved up.

I on the other hand am having my mother looking things over and picking out my training bras for my starter boobs and it’s as embarrassing as hell. She’s looking at underwear too that I’m going to need eventually with the way that my hips and stuff is supposed to go. The problem is my stuff in the front, we settle on boys styled underwear with a kind of not to girly cut and we get a few bras, nothing to frilly or froufrou mostly just basic trim and cotton with smooth padded liners. The thing is when I get them on and look in the mirror, there’s definitely boobage going on.

I look like a girl. Even in my Metallica tee shirt and my jeans I look like a girl, a little ratty and tomboyish but yeah…still a girl.

We don’t buy it but Hillary just won’t shut up until she gets me into one of those lifting bras for the girls that belong to the itty bitty titty committee and the effect is scary. I look like I’ve got much bigger boobs and there’s even the slight swelling hint of cleavage there. Add in the face that it’s kind of pinkish pearl colored and all delicate and lacy I can’t get it off fast enough and I almost ended up buying it because I almost damaged it getting it off.

Mom was watching me. “Dylan…are your sure that you aren’t going to want the surgeries and stuff?”

“Mom, it’s not just having breasts, I’m gonna have lots of girl stuff going on with my build and my bones and my skin so…fuck it, Y’know I’ve got a medical condition and how many people get stuff done then regret it? Besides…”

“Besides?”

“It feel like I’d be killing her.”

“Who?”

“My twin sister, the one that’s part of me.”

“Oh…”

I look at her and she’s giving me this worried look. “Dylan I’m not sure that’s a good way to look at it. We might need another opinion.”

“Another doctor mom…?”

“I was thinking maybe someone you could talk to uhm…professionally.”

“A shrink?”

“Yeah, honey I think so.”

“I want yours”

“Mine?”

“Mom, I know you’ve been to one over some of the stuff that’s happened to you on the job. Her I’ll trust, you were pretty messed up last summer when you had to shoot that kid in the carjacking.”

“You know about all of that?”

“Mom, we’re kids not just stupid people who live in your house, spend your money and eat all of your food. We love you and dad and we notice when stuff goes on with you guys.”

“You never said anything.”

“What would we say about you getting shot and shooting a kid. We had know idea what the hell to say.”

“I can see that, so you think you’d go to see Stephanie?”

“Yeah, I’ll go. I need to get my head around all of this.”

“Okay, I’ll call her when we get back.”
“Mom?”

“Yes honey?”

“I’m really glad you were wearing your vest that day.” I get overtaken by the damned hormones again and thick heavy tears start to fall and Mom cracks as she looks at me and starts crying too.

“I’m glad that I was wearing it too…” she starts crying really hard and there’s this moment like nothing I’ve ever had with her as she’s got her face in my stomach and crying over something she’s kept away from us for so long. Hill comes in looking worried at the crying and I mouth …Last Summer…to her and she reaches out and holds mom too and the three of us have this hard long but really bonding cry.

Maybe being like this isn’t that bad…I feel so much closer to both of them right now. It’s a feeling that seems to soak right into my heart.

It totally changes the mood of the shopping trip. Both Mom and Hill are way more into me getting my stuff the way that I’m going to be comfortable in it and with it. We actually kind of start to have a pretty good time and I get a look at the more girly side of things as Hillary shops and Mom even gets a few things. Mom’s taste is more along the line of mine, comfortable and sporty. I like some of Hill’s choices for her, not me and I’m liking the more adult but still fun/young look she’s going for to go back to university. If I’m ever going to dress more girly the college look is definitely gonna be more my speed.

There’s other things like some unisex clothes mostly pants and stuff but I get some of those basketball long shorts and some jerseys and guy stuff that mom says won’t irritate my skin and stuff.

But there’s most of my cosmetics that I need to get because of the changes in my skin and my PH balance and stuff. My regular stuff was starting to give me a rash and I’ve got to switch over to the girls stuff. I get all of that and I get some hair removal stuff on my own. I may start to look like a girl soon but I’m not going to be a hairy looking one.
But like the clothes I get I go for the more sporty stuff and not anything that’s too girly. Y’know what, girls get really screwed with some of the stuff they need to get for toiletries this stuff is expensive! Mom and Hillary both get a chuckle from that and take me on a tour through girl land and the cost of nice clothes, lingerie, underwear, make up, jewelry and stuff is expensive way more expensive than I thought.

Then there’s some of the stuff they talk about…Girls say a whole range of things that guys never get to hear. Sex is a big topic but more in the way of Hill asking what she should do and not do and what things mean in the relationship. I chime in from my perspective and get her sort of getting that for guys the sports thing is the hunter gathering thing, and it’s a social thing too. Guys watching the game are like us shopping, it’s a bonding thing in a way. It’s stuff we can talk about and use as an excuse to talk about other stuff and after a game both her and mom are surprised that there’s some of us guys that talk about girls but not just in the sexual way. That more than once it’s about what to do with a girl we’re seeing or to dump a bad relationship and to get a girl we like to go out with us and it’s not all the thug like grunting stuff.

I also get them thinking you can’t get between a guy and his friends by just going out with him. It doesn’t give the girl the right to just take over his life. Hill looks pissed at that. “So I’m dating some guy and I’m supposed to wait around and stuff for him to do his thing with his boys?”

“No, but it’s the way that a lot of girls go about it. You start going out with a guy you start seeing his friends too. If you just jump into their group and start taking over then you’re being a Yoko and they’ll hate your ass and you’ll just either get dumped or strung along for sex.”

“Yeah guys us girls for sex way too much.”

“Yeah but no, you girls get a lot out of some relationships that go nowhere either. How much jewelry do you have from guys that you’re not seeing as a serious relationship, that aren’t Mr. Right. Then the candy, flowers, dinners, dates, drinks we add that all up.”

“So you think guys deserve to have sex because you paid?”

“No, well some assholes are like that but if you’re seeing her and she’s not the right girl and you’re getting sex out of the deal he’s going to keep having sex as long as he can for as long as she’s offering until he can’t stand her anymore or they break up.”

“That’s being an asshole.”

“Not really, both people are getting stuff out of the relationship and it’s not that one sided Hill and you know it.”

“But, Guys should do that stuff and not expect the sex.”

“Yeah but we have higher sex drives, the need to push or line and it’s not just the guys.” I gesture at a store window with lingerie in it. “Women use sex as a weapon too.”

“Yeah but that’s what being a girl is about, we earn less, we aren’t as strong as guys and you can just take what you want sometimes so we’ve got to do things whatever way we can.”

I sigh. “Hill you’re not getting it. Look at the girls you know that are in really happy relationships. The way they dress and act and they’re usually way more laid back than other girls who haven’t found Mr. Right.”

“Yeah that’s because they’re happy.”

“Right, but the thing is to get there you gotta pass through his friends. You just get involved with some of the stuff they do slowly. Not jump in like you’ve got the right. You don’t. A new guy in the group wouldn’t either and you get cut slack for being a girl but they aren’t sleeping with you so they’re judging you on your personality and how you react to THEM not him.”

Hill actually stops looking shocked in that oh crap look. I nod at her. “Yup, you want his friends to like you in the way of when he fucks up with you their telling him he fucked up because they like you. That if he lets you get away he’s a fucking idiot. And they’ll want you around because secretly, we want a girl like that. We all want a girl like that who gets us and likes our friends and can hang with us but not take stuff over but really add to the group in a way that the guys can’t. It’s so not as much about the sex as you girls think.”

“Oh whoa.” She and mom are looking at me. “Hey, it’s not like you girls don’t put guys through the friends test either.”

Hillary looks at me. “But I want a guy that’ll spoil me, that’ll take me out and do things for me and stuff.”

Mom chimes in. “Hillary, that’s just stuff. Dylan’s kind of right on that point. There’s a lot more to the relationship than all of that. Those things are the perks in life, not what life should be about.”

I nod smiling. “It’s more complicated of course but basically in the end Hillary we fall in love with the girl who’s our friend first. It’s the way it’s supposed to work. If you don’t like and love the one you’re with then you’re just getting into crappy relationships and stuff. It’s why so many relationships don’t work, trophy husbands and wives. And abusive relationships on both ends and all that BS.”

Mom nods and Hillary asks. “So what about you and Amy?”

I sigh. “Honestly I don’t know…I mean she’s great and really fun to be around but it’s really strange. It’s hard too. I mean I know she’s going to go out with someone after I leave here just like I date back home but we’re both exclusive with each other when we’re here. It hurts like hell to leave and break things off at the end of every summer. I’ve just been waiting for it to just hurt to much at some point.”

Mom’s frowning a bit. I turn to her. “Look I know you don’t like her mom but Amy’s been through a ton of shit in her life and yeah she’s wild but it’s blowing off steam. Y’know you’re no where near the only person that gives her shit and there’s times she just gets fed up to not caring and gives you guys what you want to see her out of control because she’s been stuck with the label anyways.”

I stare at the floor as we walk. “Hell, there’s times I’m scared that she’ll do something really stupid and she’ll be gone.”

Hill asks. “So are you in love with her?”

“I don’t know? Love her yeah, easily, there’s a lot to love there. In love with her? I dunno, we’ve never had the chance to get that far. I’m scared that this stuff going on with me now’s going to change everything.”

I stop and look at my reflection. Long hair, ball cap, my black t-shirt showing the small curves of my starter boobs and my long lashes and very kind of androgynous look I’ve got going on right now.

“I’m scared of what going to happen with me. I’m scared of what this’ll lead to and that It might actually lead up to actually nothing…ever.”

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-4

Chapter 4

Three days later and I’m back at the shore with my family and I haven’t really been out around town since my first day back.

That was fun. I was on one of the cottage bikes a no speed ancient thing when Ricky Conway and his asshats drive past me and he hit me square in the chest with a mello yellow flavored slurpie. It hurt, it was cold it got in my eyes and stung like a…well a lot. Mom had a talk with Dad and apparently I’ve got to clean up my language. Anyway the ass yells out “Nice Tits!”

I was laying in the gravel on my butt on the side of the street and all scratched up and the slurpie was outing my starter boobs with a wet t-shirt contest effect.

Knee bleeding crying because I’m not able to fight these new (Insert Swearing) hormones from getting me to a point of getting upset like I’ve never been I got back up on my bike and rode back to our cottages.

I haven’t left for two days. For the most part my family has been okay even the distant relatives and stuff. It’s a medical condition but the guys are sort of still the worst the first day back asking if they can see them. They asked actually so much I threw a fit and took my shirt off and walked around showing off my starter boobs to all of them until the women of the family ordered me to put a shirt on.

Or as Hillary said. “Dylan, stop flashing your boobs right now or you’ll be getting a pap test without you owning a vagina.” And with my other cousins there, older female cousins looking girl pissed sorry peeved I took the threat seriously.

The girls though, the tweens and younger are as bad or worse about it. One they think it’s their right to be able to see mine just because they have their own, two they are all kinds of smug about this happening to a boy. It’s (Insert Swearing) irritating and it’s hurtful too.

Then there’s the great and wonderful joys of social networking. I was already getting messages from home, fro kids I knew. I was getting hate e-mails from people I didn’t even know. I reported the abuse, closed off my accounts to my various sites I was a member to and curled up for the most part in my travel trailer and cried and kept to myself and fell into a deep funk.

I think people were worried about me and they kept checking on me and things. One thing had become pretty clear. Amy had to know and she hadn’t come around or called me yet. She would have, should have called me by now if she wasn’t freaked out.

In the end of my funk it was my brother Jax who got me going again. He walked right into my trailer without knocking and even it being locked never stopped him because it’s really old and the door can be jimmied open if you know what to do.

“Jax! Get the (Insert Swearing) out!”

“Hell no! Look Dylan you’ve got to face up to things, you’re different but you’re not all that different that you were before this stuff happened. C’mon get your court clothes we’re going down to the park.”

“No, I’m not going down there and be a target.”

“Dude, you’re already a target but you’re just not shooting back. Now c’mon get your stuff and get your stick and your skates and let’s go down and show them that you can still outshoot and out skate their asses and still mix it up.”

“Jax…”

“Dylan look you let them walk all over you and there’s those people out there that will. You not saying anything or doing anything in your own defence is just going to let them do this all the time, year after year and everything. Bullies shut up when they can’t back their shit up and the mob? They’ll find something new next week without the bullies to egg them on.”

“Jax.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem Dylan just do me two favors?”

“Uhm…depends?” I Never…Ever Say Yes To A Favor or to do something with out knowing What It Is First. It’s a good life rule to live by people, really good.

“Take a shower because you’ve got days of funk on you and wear a bra.”

“A Bra…”

“Yeah; one we’re going to be playing sports so you’re going to need one. And two it’ll drive those who got a problem with you being like this nuts.”

“And I want to piss them off?”

“Hell yeah, they’ll play like crap because of it and they’ll play dirty too and they’ll look even more the asses when we beat them and stuff.”

I grabbed my stuff and actually headed to the showers and washed myself clean of what was a couple days of funk and took my time in there and got really clean. I remembered the hard way how water from the shower can be rough of starter boobs and again found myself dealing with my sand paper towels.

The sports bra was really nothing special but it well looked weird and it flattened me right out but I could kind of feel the compression. But still there wasn’t any hiding the fact that it was still a bra. Boxer briefs made of stretch cotton that’ll still keep the right shape no matter how I start growing and I toss on my basketball trunks and throw on a nylon summer mesh styled NJ Devils Jersey and grab my roller blades and my hockey stick and some cash. Jax is waiting for me by the car and we drive down to the park stopping only for a cooler of ice, some drinks and some hot dogs and buns and stuff. Dad keeps a bag of charcoal and a hibachi in the truck most of the summer. Its funny how many roadside bumper BBQ’s we’ve had on long family vacations and trips.

Jax says feeding girls who come over to listen to the tunes you’ve got blasting is a great way to get numbers and as an ice breaker. Jax’d know he’s a tail magnet….Uhm, sorry.
He’s really good with women.

We drive around town first just cruising around and blasting tunes really loud out of the car. Okay a lot of people might think it’s not cool or it’s old music but we crank out stuff like Bon Jovi, Def Leopard, Bread, Styx, White Snake and all those old classic bands that just go with Jax’s old 79 Monte Carlo.

We hit the old park that used to be part of this old tennis court down near the beach and take the parking space closest to the pavement. We’ve got the tunes cranked and I’m in my rollerblades going up and down the asphalt with Jax when after about twenty minutes a bunch of the locals and long term cottage kids show up.

Ricky Conway and his idiots are amongst them. He yells as he’s putting on his skates. “Yo Jax, why don’t you and your faggy little sister take off out of here and let some real men have the spot.”

Jax lazily skates around us passing the orange street hockey ball back and forth. “Ricky, you we’re here first. We got the court so you either play us and win or take off.”

“I don’t play with fags, especially ones growin his own tits.”

I snap the ball into the net and retrieve it. “I’ve got a medical condition Dick, It’s genetic Dick. I’ve got a doctors file saying that too. But you’re an ass---- Dick, and I don’t think that they’ll ever find a cure for that.”

He gets up and comes at me. I hit him in the chest with a hard wrist shot. He staggers back. “You little asshole, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

I stare him down while skating around him. “I’ve got a hockey stick Dick and you’re not safely driving by in a car full of your buddies. You want a piece of me come and get it. But if you’re done being a Dick, Dick how about you put up or shut up and actually play the game. Unless you don’t think you’re tough enough to handle me and Jax.”

Just to egg him on, I adjust my bra strap. I didn’t need to but it’s a gesture most of the kids around just can’t miss.

“Alright, lets fucking do this faggit, street rules?”

“Fine by us. Can you handle some action D..Ick?” Jax asks.

“How much asshole?”

“Ten bucks a game?” Jax holds up a tenner. “We’ll let Jillian hold the cash.” He beams at her and she takes the money blushing. She’s so into Jax and getting chosen for something like this seems to be some kind of big deal with the girls. Ricky passes her a ten. “First till?” he asks…grunts.

“Seven, me and Dylan don’t have all day there’s other people here that want the court.”

Ricky gives him the finger and Brent Johnson is playing with him and he looks just as much an asshole as Ricky is. I don’t know him that well but he’s giving Jax a look that’d peel paint. I end up facing off against Ricky and Jillian tosses the ball out to the center of the pavement and it’s sort of a race to get to the ball first. Like I said sort of, I’m focused on the ball Ricky wants to knock me down I’m sure with a check and I reach out one handed with my stick and catch the ball in the curve of it and veer sideways running from Ricky enough to get both hands on the stick and pass it to Jax.

See Ricky could keep after me but he’s got money on the line so he might not try to thump me and I’ve got reach with knowing actually how to use my stick. See I used it to grab the ball first and keep that much ahead and away from Ricky and now he could close that six or seven feet and try to check me or he could try to go after the ball and Jax with Brent. Johnson.

He tries to hit me trusting his buddy to take care of my big brother. I make a turn as he comes at me and just before he hits me I skate hop three feet left of him and he tries to turn as I’m doing it. The thing is I’m a hockey player, dick’s not. Suddenly trying to turn has him skating backwards which has him on his ass in seconds I skate away and join up with Jax and we pass the ball back and forth until I shoot it into the old three foot square road sign we all use as the goal there. We skate a victory lap while they gather their dignity or bravado and come at us.

They skate at us passing the ball and I slide in and intercept it and break for the goal. Brent tries to stop me and I pass it to Jax who passes it back to me and a flick of my wrist and bam! Another goal.
It’s pretty much like that the rest of the game which only takes like twenty minutes and there’s cat calls from the kids who’ve been on my case but they slowly stop as we play. It’s a total shut out and Ricky looses it as Jax is collecting our cash from Jillian. He skates right over and starts to swing at me. “I’ll teach you not to fuck with me you cheating little bitch!”

I duck the first couple of swings. I yell at him. “Cheat? How the fuck did I cheat you red necked (Insert Swear here.)”

“I’m gonna kick your ass.” he says as his third swing lands in my face sending me sprawling. Jax goes to come over but I hold up my open hand and the Ricky tries to kick me. I grab his skate and push him off balance sending him to the ground I’m up before him and have enough time to yank off my shirt and get into a fighting stance. No I’m not a martial artist but I know some boxing, I’m a teen guy…sort of from Jersey. There’s always someone who’s a boxer in the family. Mine actually my dad and Jax. I’ve picked up a few things plus playing hockey can get a bit rough.

I mix it up with Ricky and he’s not a slouch either and we trade hits for a few minutes and yeah he’s older, bigger and stronger but I’m no slouch either, I’m strong for my size and I’m way more used to fighting and staying balanced on skates. It’s a pretty even fight and I get hit with a few really good and painful punches but I land some of my own and people started the fight chant and formed the ring around us and some of the girls were starting to get freaked out because I’m in a sports bra and I look too much like a girl I guess because there’s cries from the crowds to “Stop it!” and to “Leave her alone!”

The fight stops when Johnny Stevens steps in between us. It’s good because I’m not sure if I could’ve taken Ricky. Johnny’s a cottage kid like us but he comes down from Canada to spend summers with his dad’s folks. He’s built like a tank too about 6ft four and well over two hundred pounds of big, big farm boy. I know coaches who kill to have this guy play football. He shove us both to the ground like we’re toys.

“It’s done.” His blue eyes look intense and stormy.

Ricky frowns. “Stay out of this you Commie Pinko Canuck. This is between me and the fag.”

“Rick, Dylan’s almost three years younger than you. I don’t think it’s cool for you to beat on him.”

I just keep quiet but a couple of the girls help me to my feet looking me over and definitely my chest and bra but the rest of me too. It makes me self conscious and I grab my jersey and slip it over.

“That ain’t a him but an it.” He gets up and looks around and a few of his buddies stand beside him to back him up. Mostly (Insert Swear) like him that don’t like anyone different and don’t like Canada for the Iraq thing and the other BS drummed up over them being socialists and stuff. Yeah these are the “Freedom fries and Freedom toast” kind of guys.

But as much as New Jersey gets a rep for being rough and unpolished we’re NOT a red state. So even as he and his buddies get together there’s more of us who aren’t real fans of him and his bullshit. A couple of the local guys step out of the crowd to sort of back us up, some are Jax’s friends. Ricky looks around and frowns and points at me and Johnny.

“This ain’t over Commie, I’ll catch up with you and the freak sooner or later.”

I stare at him. “I’ll be ready, but we can finish it now Dick, no one’ll get involved.”

He stares at the crowd. “Naw, later freak.” he pushes through the gathered kids chuckling and a few out of that crowds goes with him. The freak comment hurts and I’m suddenly shaking like I’ve never been in a fight before as the adrenaline wears off and my hormones kick in and the tears start to run down my cheeks.

That does it for some of the girls and about five or six lead me over to the car and are all that girly touchy feelie and kind of freaking me out and Jax comes over and hugs me and passes me a bottle of Mountain Dew and some ice wrapped up in his t-shirt. I actually didn’t mind the hug?

“You okay Dylan?” he asks me.

“Yeah, just bruised a lot. He punches pretty good for a red neck. Must be all that wife beating practice.” I rub my chest a bit. “He punched me in my left boob.” The girls with us wince in sympathy.

“You know I had your back right?” He asks actually looking more worried than he usually does.

“Yeah but I’ve been in fights before Jax. I can take care of myself. I love that you’re getting all big bro over this but just because I’m growing into being part girl it doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself, girls gotta do it all the time.” I’m getting looks from some of the girls with me and even a few others close by.

“You sound like mom.” he smiles. “I’m going to set up the Q.” he moves away and pops the trunk. I see Hill show up and she ends up going over to Johnny and kissing him. So that’s why he got involved.

We end up a whole bunch of us talking; mostly about my medical condition and even about being adopted and found here which for some strange reason changes me from cottager to being a local and we cook and share out the hot dogs and waters and pops and even dance close to the car listening to the tunes blasting out of it. Johnny introduces us to some of his tunes and Brian Adams…that song summer of 69 just seemed to fix with the day and everything that’s gone on. We play a few more games with the local guys and Johnny is almost the stereotype Canadian guy and good at the game but we find out teasing him about it that the town he comes from doesn’t do baseball or even football basketball or hockey that’s the only two big sports there in Boen’s Landing. You know another good song? This song called “Big league.” it’s a hockey song but reminds me a lot of Bruce Springstein’s stuff.

The girls get lot more about what’s going on with me and they get onto their phones a lot during the afternoon and text and face book and stuff and one girl Kaylee had recorded the bit where we’re sitting around eating and talking about what’s going on with me and stuff and it’s now on You Tube and Facebook and Twitter and stuff and we’re reading the responses by the bonfire after we kind of migrated to the beach and stuff once it got dark.

Kaylee’s pretty cool and we even danced a little and she’s smiled at me even a bit. I even lean on her and she on me in front of the fire and listen to the music and watch people just having fun. This is the way summer should be.

I watch my big brother dancing and showing off and being charming with the girls. I owe him a lot for today. I feel that life’s not going to suck after all I think. I lean over and kiss Kaylee as this song “Life in a Northern Town.” starts to play and we kiss a little deeper and her hand slides onto my chest and rubs at my sore starter breast.

…….oh…Oh….

o_O!

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-5

Chapter 5

Kaylee’s hand felt so…so…oh..good. There was this tickle tingle that turned to warmth that danced in under the skin there and was spreading through me. It’s so hard to explain it in guy terms. Nothing like having your balls licked or sucked on but more equal to a light touch on the sensitive underside of a guy’s penis. As good as sensitive and erotic as that but still Totally different.

Totally.

It also had and effect below the belt too. It was so alienly erotic I had the hardest uhm hard on ever. It hurt, I actually hurt I was so stiff. Kaylee was a really good kisser, and my nipples were feeling really funny, achy but in a good way. I was breathing hard and panting when she broke our kisses. Her hand slid over my crotch. “Whoa.” she breathed.

“What…Uhm..oh..sorry!” I was aroused but kind of embarrassed from popping a boner with this girl I just met.

“Oh, hey no. Dylan it’s cool I’m just not really ready for like sex right now.”

“I…I…I didn’t mean to?” I bite my lip and stare at her. “It just happened after what you were doing.” I turn red but wave my hand over my starter boobs.

“Really, like a girl huh, so they’re really real huh? Not just some like fat growths or some dumb bet right?”

“Yeah they’re real.” I hunch and kind of cross my arms over me to sort of hide them.

Zap.

Mood, boner…gone.

I’ve seen girls do that, just get upset and the sexy cuddly fun just goes away too. Now it’s kind of making me feel like a freak. I’m actually trying really hard not to cry right now.

“Dylan?” She looks at me quietly leaning in to talk to me. “Dylan, did I do something wrong?”

“I though you listened back there Kaylee, this isn’t a joke or some just easy fix thing. I’m some kind of freak and I’m never going to be normal. You made it sound like I was doing this on purpose…made it feel like you were just trying to check me out.”

“I was, I mean I was like curious. I wanted to see if they were like real. I didn’t mean it to be like I was trying to be like some kind of asshole. I kind of like you Dylan. You’re a nice guy. You’ve taken a bad situation and you’re trying to turn it into a positive. I kinda needed to know if this girl stuff with you was going to wig me out.”

I look at her. She’s really pretty, tanned with just a bit of freckles hiding out. Strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes but really big ones. Nice boobs, in good shape sort of, a bit skinny actually like her curves are catching up with her height. A bit of a geeky type or was I’d have to say. She looks like she’s in that coming into her own thing.

I bite my lower lip again. “Oh sorry…I’m just all over the place with all these hormones.”

“Seriously?” She asks while moving to sit beside me.

“Oh yeah, according to the docs I’ve got probably as much estrogen running through me as you do.” I kind of relax and lean back supporting myself with my arms and I’m not sure if I should be upset by the fact this kind of makes my starter boobs stick out a bit more. Like I said I’m not sure because…

If you’re a boy with boobs is it a good thing to get checked out by a cute girl? I mean like boob checked?

“Whoa, that’s freaky…Oh shit Dylan! I’m sorry poor choice of words! I’m sorry!” Her eyes get all big and she covers her mouth embarrassed but she kept having to move her hand to talk. It was way funny.

“It’s cool, I know you didn’t mean it like to hurt me and yeah it is freaky.” I smile at her.

“You know Dylan no girl’d ever admit this to a guy but being a teen girl has some serious sucky parts.”

“Oh yeah, I’m not in your shoes but it’s like my sneakers are starting to sport Minolo heels.”

Kaylee laughs and snorts at the end of it. I grin at her. She leans on my shoulder.

“See that’s part of it. I had a few guy friends before I hit puberty, then I started to fill out and that was cool because y’know I don’t want to be alone and stuff like anyone else. But they treat me different now, like being their friend is like more than it was back then and they don’t take me as seriously as before like my boobs are proportional to my brains. But you know what’s the worst part? The hormones, the mood swings aren’t like the me I used to be and I’m either way happy, or sad, or angry all at the drop of a hat.”

“Oh yeah, sigh me up of the good spaceship bi-polar too. Only I’ve got a double dose.”

“Double dose?”

“Yeah, the genius doctors say I’m also dumping out the same amount of guy hormones as any normal guy my age so I get all the stuff you’re going through plus the random walking boner thing, the aggression thing which dovetails just nicely into when I get a girly angry mood. I’m just waiting until something happens when I’m going through my monthly fun days and my testosterone spikes me even angry and my head actually, literally explodes.”

“Wait, wait…waddayamean monthly fun?” Kaylee is staring at me eyes wide like I’m…I’m…Well a space alien.

“Yeah, I get these floods of something through my system for a couple of days each month or well so far at least and I bloat, feel queasy, get cramps from hell and all that fun.”

“Hey at least you don’t bleed, ugh I hate that. But It’s got to be so fucking weird for you.”

“Yeah.” She reaches an arm around me and hugs me. It feels good, but… “Kaylee?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I heading into the friend zone?”

I turn my head to look at her. We’re really close face to face and she shyly smiles then kisses me. We start making out and necking and even get into some heavy petting. Her hands on my starter boobs, mine on her starter boobs we don’t go further than that but it’s the most intense thing I think we’ve ever done. I hurt, I really hurt I’m so turned on but we don’t go there. We break our bouts of kissing panting and aching over one and other.

I think part of me likes this agonizing, teasing up and not getting the relief bit. My body is going through this almost intense buzz from the need and yet…it’s like I can deal? Oh this has to be some girl thing, I never got this feeling from Amy. I’m not even sure what this is. It’s this sexual/emotional knife edge thing.

There’s a cough and Jax is standing over us. “Yo, Dylan it’s getting late and stuff. We should take off. I’m running Jillian home…” He gives me this look. I’m not a total idiot and pick up on it. I smile at Kaylee. “Did you want a lift home?”

“Yeah sure just let me get my stuff?”

Jillian goes with her and while they don’t look like they run together like most girls it seems that there’s this communal thing that they kind of do. It’s like going to the bathroom in groups. I’m not sure that I get that. I help Jax clean up and put out the fire and just make sure everything’s safe and put back even cleaning up some of the litter that was here before we got here. If we actually take care of it and the other places we hang out at then people don’t really care that we hang out there or here because we’re pretty good kids. Heck that even cuts us a bit of slack with the local cops who don’t hassle us like other bunches of kids.

We get in the car and take off and I’m in the back seat with Kaylee while Jax is driving and Jillian’s got the shotgun seat. We don’t gotta be right home, but Jax calls in and says we’re taking the girls out for some ice cream. Ten minutes later we’re outside of Dairy Queen and Jax and I are digging into some burgers and fries with a shared order of onion rings and the girls are tucking into their ice creams. I was just gonna have the same but as soon as I smelled the cooking burgers I new wanted burgers. It’s weird too I’m not a French fry guy, I mean I’ll eat them but I’m not a huge fan of them usually. But tonight they taste really good with the fat and grease and the salt.

It’s funny even though they’re eating their ice cream the girls are still snacking on our fries but neither one wants us to go get them their own order. I think it’s another girl thing.

We listen to the tunes of summer in the car as we cruise around and even sing along to some of the songs. I’m a Bon Jovi fan, it’s kinda an East coast thing and I grew up on these tunes. I really get into “It’s My Life.” It seems just to fit my mood and sort of what’s going on with me. There’s some Def Leopard and Styxx and Bread being played too but I like some of the stuff Jax has downloaded. We’re all singing along to “American Pie.” As we pull down the beach road to let Jillian off first because she’s got to work tomorrow.

Jax spends some time with her at her door and seeing them making out has Kaylee take my head and kiss me too and I’m back into a make out session hot and heavy as Jax get’s in and drives us over to the cottage place where Kaylee and her family are staying. I remember this sweet kind of feeling from the kissing and touching and feeling each other until we’re getting right back to that point on the beach again in the back seat. There’s the dash lights shining in from the front, and the flicker of the street lights in through the back window as we drive under then and Bon Jovi’s “In these arms tonight” is playing as we kiss and make out.

I get out and pull the seat ahead and help Kaylee out of the car and hold her hand as I walk her to the steps beside the patio of the cottage. I’s kiss her and stuff but there’s people there on the patio and so I hug her and we trade off our information each programming the others stuff into the phone. I do notice though I’m getting some pretty odd looks from some of the people there and not all of them are friendly looks either. There’s a mixture and I’m not sure if they know who I am or not or the fact that it kind of looks like their daughter got back from a date with a butch girl.

I still can’t help but to smile at her and walk backwards as I head to the car and give everyone my guy nod and a “Nice night everyone.” And get into the shotgun seat with Jax. He gets us out of there and once we’re safely away he cranks up the speed and switches playlists to AC/DC and Van Halen and the heavier old school rock bands.

Hey this stuff might seem dated to some people and it’s weird that a fifteen year old listens to it but this is New Jersey, and good old rock never dies here. It just gets passed down from generation to generation like the family red sauce recipe.

We pull into home eventually and we get our things and I look at Jax then out of the blue I hug him. It’s a bit embarrassing but I’m overcome by the flood of emotions and just how cool a big brother he is and the fact the night did a total switch around to the ways that my days had been going.

“Thanks Jax, I really needed this.”

“Uhm, yeah sure…I mean it’s cool and everything.” He’s blushing and I’m blushing too and feeling well just weird. It’s like I can see him in this weird different light or something. Tall, strong, a good guy under all that well…Jax, there’s a guy there that’s a lot like our dad.

“G’nite Dylan.” And he just has to ruin the effect a bit by ruffling my hair. I head off to my trailer and stow my stuff and grab my other stuff and go and hit the showers. Getting washed and uhm my hands roaming sort of where Kaylee’s were gets me all going again and I have to take matters into my own hand…hands…it’s so different because yeah I have a hand touching myself and sort of playing with my breasts and stuff and it sends what’s normally something I’ve gotten used to…into something more…It hurt, I uhm released more and harder than I’m used too and I’m so glad I’m the only one there because I know I made some noises. Hell my legs nearly gave out from under me.

Afterwards is even weird. I dry off carefully and head back to my trailer and to bed but there’s this kind of skin warm, lighter, strangely good feeling afterwards. I slip into my boxer briefs and a loose t-shirt that mom bought and I curl into my covers and slip into this really nice sleep.

***

The next morning I woke feeling pretty good. I slept a really good night’s sleep and was out with everyone else in the morning. Breakfast was pretty typical with bacon and eggs, pancakes and Special K with some bananas cut up into it.

I go over to where Hillary is sitting eating her breakfast and sit across from her. She looks at me through bleary no make up eyes and takes a few gulps of coffee before asking me.

“Hey Dylan, what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you, kind of need some big sisterly advice.”

She looks surprised and takes another gulp of her coffee. “Okay sure what about?”

“Girl’s and the way that they feel about sex and making out.” I saw looking right at her.
“Whoa, what happened last night did you meet a boy?” her eyes scanned me a bit.

“Uhg!!! (Insert swear) no! It’s not that at all, I met a girl.”

“Really so you want some advice on how to be with her?”

“No not exactly but it’s more like this. We were making out and she got uhm…well she got her hand up and was caressing my uhm…breasts which kinda felt great but it was scary. But the more we did stuff the more um turned on I got but it wasn’t like before, like all the other times I’d get turned on and stuff. This was different it kinda felt good to be right on the edge of stuff even if I was like ready but like not ready and that just seemed to make it better….am I going nuts? I just want to know if this was normal Hill?”

She looks at me and grins. “Yeah it’s sort of normal. I mean it’s like not really normal for a guy and stuff but if you’re asking if it’s a girl thing then yeah, it’s normal. A lot of girls kinda like the feels all building up before something like sex or even heavy making out. You kinda just fall into that achy good fun haze of someone finding you sexy and attractive and it’s as much about all the little stuff with girl’s Dylan. We get really into someone he can make you dream about them and a good kiss can leave you all achy but you want that because once you get through those intense feelings them there’s even more later on. That make’s it feel even more intense and exciting and you just…”

I nod. “Yeah, it was kind of like the more I wanted more, the more that I wanted that on the edge feeling to keep going. I never got that charged up before. I mean…I mean what does that mean Hill? Am I going through more stuff making me a girl? Am I gay?”

She gets up and moves around the picnic table to sit beside me. I lean into her as she wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Honestly Dylan I don’t think you’re getting any more girly than you are supposed to get. I do think with all the hormones and stuff with your body having both genders stuff going on in it and I think that you’re getting stuff from both sides. From what I see it’s you getting the chance to feel what most of us girls feel when most guys never get how we feel when we get swept up in things. As for being gay? I don‘t know a lot of gay guys that talk like that about feeling stuff like that. I can‘t say what‘s going to happen Dylan but I‘ll be here as much as I can for you.”

I nod but lean on her. I’ve been feeling way more comfortable with Hillary and last night hugging Jax it’s like I’m becoming someone else. Actually it’s kinda closer to when I was younger with Jax, I got some of that big brother majik back. I never really had this with Hillary being her pesky baby brother. This is nice, I kind of like this happy glow I’m getting like she’s got my back. She’s never had my back before. I lean my head on her shoulder and hug her back. “It’s worth it.”

“What’s worth it?”

“This…all the stuff going on with me. It’s all worth it Hill. I wouldn’t want to change things if I lost this.” I’m crying a little my emotions getting the better of me with the hormones and stuff. She looks at me in my eyes and then she’s crying too and we’re holding each other having this sisterly moment and I swear I can feel it reaching inside my soul somewhere, that sort of place where I picture my twin lives in me and it’s like she’s getting her first bit of human contact and love from her family. We actually end up crying really hard for about a minute. It’s like this heavy cloud burst of pure emotion then it’s over and we’re smiling and wiping at our eyes.

Mom and dad come over with their food and look at us. “Is everything okay?” Dad asks. I nod still wiping away tears. “I was just asking Hill some questions about girl stuff.” Mom smiles but adds. “You could have always have asked me when you’ve got questions like that.”

“Yeah I know mom. I maybe should hav…”

Hill cuts in with. “But it’s stuff that he wasn’t really into talking to a parent mom, I mean did you talk making out stuff with grandma?”

I blush and dad gives me this closed mouth smile his mouth already full of hash browns. Hill and I both take a slice of his bacon while mom takes and sausage round. It’s weird am I matching my behavior to the girls? Dad rolls his eyes and there’s something teasingly fun about this?

Mom looks at us and nods while eating then wipes her mouth off. “So crisis averted?”

I smile at her then dad and lean against Hill again who filches another rasher of dad’s bacon. “Yeah, and I just really got to realizing how cool a big sister I’ve got.” That get’s Hill hugging me tightly and I steal the piece of bacon she stole from dad then smile and break it in half. The parents are grinning at each other. Dad takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and passes it to me.

“One of your Grand-dad’s friends needs some work done and stuff. You get done eating and bike over there. It sounds like a decent bit of work for a few weeks.”

I look at the address and it’s pretty far out of town down along the water. Hill looks it over. “I’m going partway there, you can toss the bike in the back.” I get up and hug everyone and tell Hill. “I’m going to get changed into my work clothes and I’ll meet you by your jeep?”

“Ya sure.” We hug again.

I go and change. Deodorant spray, under arm stuff. It’s odd that guy’s Right Guard Sport kind of goes with my Dove underarm stuff. I let it kind of dry as I get my clothes ready. Some sunscreen and spritz some fly dope on. I put some on my sneakers and get into my levi’s and put on a fresh bra, just one of my simple ones and a light tee over that and a plaid workshirt. I head out getting a few bottles of water and a Gatorade and a few granola bars. Mom gives me a waffle sandwich wrapped in waxed paper and a hug and then Me and Hill take off and we drive away to the four way stop. We stop for gas on the way and I see Amy.

She’s in a denim mini skirt and a black tee shirt that shows off her navel with her belly button stud and stuff. She looks different, better in a way I can’t place. I go over to her and she stares at me. Shock written all over her face. “Dylan…? Uhm…You’ve got Boobs…”

Don’t Blame Me I’m a Martian-6

Chapter 6

Okay she might look different somehow but yeah, that was just completely Amy.

“Uhm Yeah…It’s kind of a long story. Are you okay?”

She blinks still staring at my chest. “Yeah…I’m good…” She’s still staring.

“Uhm…Amy, I’m up here.” I can’t believe I actually had to say that.

She yanks her head up and looks at me and gives me this sheepish grin and moves some of her hair out of her face. “Whoa, sorry Dylan, their nice?”

I color intensely as I’ve never been this embarrassed in my life. “What happened? Where were you?”

Her mood shifts and I can see this hurt, this deep in there something wrong. I step up and hug her. I ask again softly this time. “Aimes, C’mon it’s me Dylan what happened?”

She sniffles a bit and leans on my pressing tight to me. “The cops came the day after the night we partied and took me and mom into protective custody.”

“Shit, why?”

“Dad got out of prison. They cut him loose over some over crowding bullshit.”

“Aimes, you don’t got anything to do with his bullshit.”

“Yeah Dylan everyone keeps telling me that but it don’t really help. He raped my mom and he went to jail for it. And I’m the result…no wonder I’m so fucked up huh?”

“He was a fucking sperm donor Amy, that’s it you’re nothing like him.”

“Yeah…” she sounded really low. I hug her again and see some guy come out of the gas station suit and tie and looking official but not like police official, I think I’ve seen mom talk to the guy before or something. “Amy.” He says.

She lowers her head. “I’m sorry but I’ve gotta go Dylan.’

“Go? Go where?”

“My Great Aunt’s place upstate. It’s the only family I’ve got and well, well mom took off after what happened and left me by myself. I guess I ruined her life enough.” She’s wiping at the tears that are starting to run down her face. I lean over and give her a kiss. “Hey, I had to with you leaving all of a sudden. You’ve got a pen?”

“Yeah.” Sniffle.

“When things decided to get all funky with me body and stuff I caught a lot of flak and stuff and dropped most of my connections but I’ve got all new stuff now and You Will call me and stuff once you get settled and everything right?”

“Yeah…and Dylan?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being a friend, for being that guy.” She smiles at me and kisses me again.

“What guy?”

“That guy, the one that even twenty years later and a bunch of kids you look back about and sigh.” She leans on me pretty hard like she’s trying to memorize what I feel like. “Dylan you never judged me, you’d just come back into town every summer and we’d just pick up were we left off. It never mattered who I’d been with or how much I screwed up or how badly stoned or drunk I got you, you were always there.”

“Uhm duh, of course I’d be there Aimes. You love someone you love someone and half measures just don’t cut it. Right?”

I’m looking at her as intensely as I can but I’m getting really close to bawling. Damned hormones instead of being all guy embarrassed and stuff about what she said to me it kind of makes my heart roll over and ache. It’s a good ache though? How can it hurt in a good way?

The guy pulls up in the sedan he’s driving and I walk her over to the car and open the door for her. She leans against it and pulls me into this really deep long super slow and sensual kiss. I’ve never had a kiss like that in my life and a kiss has never really felt as...as…tangible, I mean before kissing was like just good, I mean it was really good but this…this is like… okay before kissing it was like nice like ice cream, this…this was creame brule…this was…tira misu.

Then her hands slide up my shirt and even under my bra and rub and cup my starter boobs until I’m moaning into her kiss and pressing a boner into her I could have closed the car door with. You know what made it perfect, it made even the bullshit going on with me perfect and that’s that spark of life that’s just Amy lighting back up in her eyes and feeling her lips curl into a smile her smile as she breaks the kiss. Rolls my nipples, squeezes just…right.

“Right, and I love you too Dylan.” She slips her hands away with that smile on her face and gets into the car. “Hey, I had too right?” I sort of dumbly nod. She closes the door and he pulls away slowly and she waves to me as long as she can before they leave pulling out onto the street I hear because he’s got his window down. “Hey I just got to second base.”

I was in a crouch on the pavement sort of hugging myself and crying when Hillary came out and found me after paying for the gas. She was worried at first and then after explaining things with Amy and how I was feeling both happy because she doesn’t hate me and we’re good, sad because she’s leaving, happy because of the things she said about me and I was crying until we got to the four way stop and she had to drop me and my bike off and head to her own job.

“You going to be alright Dylan?”

“Yeah, I’m just really just kind of worn out, cried out in a good way? I feel like there’s stuff I didn’t even know that got flushed out of me or something? I’m not sure I can explain it but it’s just…I’m literally feeling stuff differently and I’m still trying to process it? I’ll be okay though.”

We even hugged before she had to go or she'd be late. I wave her off and I hop on my bike and pedal to the old guys place to see what kind of stuff he’s got lined up for me to do. The bike ride helps me get calm and focused and I push myself a bit working myself into that rush of endorphins to combat the stuff going on in my head and with my hormones. It actually does seem to help but when I end up driving down the lane I’m like holy shit…

Between the house and the barns and the garages and the crap that’s in his yard and on the beach it looks like the 50’s through to the 80’s left all it’s marine crap here. The tsunami wave that hit Thailand left behind less junk. And I see why I got hired a county clean up notice. Yeah right on the shore I bet the tourists really like going past this place on vacation. I’m getting paid to do this stuff because if he doesn’t they’ll clean it up for him and bill him for it. That’s municipal wages, I’m not sure what they are but it’s going to be a whole lot less than what I’m getting.

I first find the house. Honestly I’m not kidding you couldn’t tell it from some of his other shacks and I knock on the door to hear this barking horking up a lung cough as this old guy shuffles to the screen door.

Gawd he looks like Nick Nolte had a love child with Chris Kristofferson. Long hair, and beard all scraggly and stuff with it all white with just hints of grays in it and a face that’d make a bulldog flinch. A dirty stained wife beater on and old jeans with bare feet showing me his feet with yellowing nails in bad need of clipping. A serial killer, he looks like a seventy five year old serial killer.

“Hello, are you Mr. Seager?”

“Yeah, wadda want kid.” He smells like pipe smoke old French fry grease and booze whiskey for sure because it’s almost getting me hammered off his breath.

“My grandfather said you needed some work done around here? I’m Dylan.”

He looks me up and down. “Hrmph, in my day that was a boy’s name.”

Oh….I could say so much right now but…I need the work. “It’s both I guess nowadays.”

“Yeah well nowadays sucks young’in. C’mon I’ll show you where to start. Now you actually gotta work here, just cause yer a girl I ain’t gonna be easy on ya.”

I swear I can actually taste blood I’m biting my tongue so much. He steps out and shows me where to start and he’s grumbling and mumbling to himself and farting just to add another sound I think.

He points stuff out and how he wants it and keeps going on from that point through the place occasionally to stop and pull a partially drank bottle from some nook somewhere like he’s got bottles all over the place. It takes an hour just to go over the basics of the place.

“You’re going to need a dumpster or several of them because they won’t haul this stuff away.”

“Fuck that I got my truck. He points out this five ton heavy old farming truck that looks like it’s from the fifties.”

“Okay.”

He goes off to drink or whatever he does and I start in on getting to work. It’s the old lobster traps first. Yes I know everyone thinks Maine and stuff like that but they fish them down here too and lots of other stuff. But these are the old type made of cheap wood and netting, broken and stinking to high heaven. They pretty much all use the metal ones now. There was bait left in these things and it soaked into the wood and there’s fishing nets the same way in the pile and a couple of some things have nested and died in the pile for a couple of generations.

I find four flats (24’s) of beer bottles just tossed in there alone. I box them up as best as I can and set those aside in what’s going to be my bottle exchange pile. That takes me until lunch and I end up burning the traps junk in a pit and that brought the sheriff around to check out if the place was burning down and there’s not a problem burning it as he’s outside or town limits. The old guy doesn’t come out of his place and the sheriff had to go inside. I’m not sure what happened or what was said but he left shaking his head.

I take a break about lunch time when Hill calls me and I take my phone and go down and sit by the water and we talk awhile about this mornings run in with Amy and her moving and everything she said and how it’s making me feel.
It’s a bit hard and I cry to her about how unfair it is. Mostly that she’s a really decent girl that really got dealt a raw deal and no one really cut her that much slack because of her mom and the crowd her mom kept running with and how it just usually got to that point of if you can’t beat them join them.

Hill says she proud of me for seeing past the bullshit in her life. It’s only a twenty minute call but it’s the first time she’s ever just actually sort of just called me. We even told each other that we loved each other.

It made the afternoon a lot more palatable. The entire day was just separating, boxing, bagging and burning some trash. I’m still at it and nowhere near done even that much when Jax pulls in.

“Yo, Dylan? You here?”

I step out from a pile of junk appliances that I had been lining up. Who the hell tosses lamps and toasters out into the lawn? I mean…WTF?

“Yeah I’m here.” I walk over to him. He’s looking around.

“Dude, what a dump.”

“Oh yeah… what’s up?”

“Its seven thirty guy, we were worried that you got lost or jumped……Anyway you missed supper.”

“No, but I totally lost track of time. Let me let him know that I’m going and I’ll grab my things.”

“Lemme help.”

“Sure.”

We walk up to the old guy’s house/hovel and he’s outside. And he’s taking a leak as we come around the side of the house and there’s this burning greasy smell. I see plugged into an extension cord a toaster sitting on a picnic table and it’s got sputtering flames and smoke coming out of it and there’s burger buns and mustard out on the table. The thing pops and two “toasted” thick cut slices of baloney pop up just this side of darkly cooked and he look at us and stuffs his junk (Penis...eeew) away in his pants and scratches for good measure I guess. Then pours whatever the hell he’s drinking over his hands and then wipes them off on his jeans…Ick…Ick, ick, ick.

Then he makes a baloney burger and takes a bite.

“Yeah, you done fer the day?”

“Uhm….yeah….”

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a wad of cash and peels off four twenties. “You gonna be here tomorrow?”

“Yessir.” Heck yes even with the squick factor he’s just paid me like close to eight bucks an hour. Try making that at fifteen anywhere else without the government taking a chunk of it.

“Good, don’t wake me up.”

“Okay, what about some of the stuff to haul away. I was wondering if I can have any of it.”

“Whatever kid, don’t care.”

“Cool, bye Mr. Seager.”

“Yeah whatever.” He takes another bite of the whatever the hell it is and another drink of beer before we end up leaving.

Jax and I end up doing the shiver shakes over the whole thing and laughing but we load all the empties into his car leaving my bike there. “I’ll drive you in tomorrow. You need a serious shower dude.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid of what’s in some of those buildings not to mention the house.”

I go and stow my bike and chain it up. Then make sure that the fire is good and out. I’ve got a few ideas of things I’m going to need from home and will help me get things done too. I’ll take it with me when Jax drops me off tomorrow.

We drop off the empties at the bottle exchange/glass recycling place and they end up giving me close to forty six bucks between the beer and the hard liquor bottles. I get him to stop at Primos Pizza over on the boardwalk and get two eighteen inch cheese pizzas for the crowd we have and veggie white in the same size. I know I know no meat but I really like their veggie white plus it’s late and after watching the old guy meat’s not on the menu tonight it pretty much kills the cash from the empties and while the pizza’s are cooking I go down to the corner store and get two gallons of milk and two loaves of bread for the house and five of those frozen minute maid juice things.

The foods partly for me but you kinda suck if you don’t share if you can. The groceries are kind of the same way. In my family at least; if you’re making money then you should, you don’t have to but you should just be a bit of an adult and chip in. It sucks for the parents too when they see money that just maybe…they might like to spend on themselves at some point once in awhile. Okay I spent a lot tonight already all the bottle cash but that’s supper and a bunch of goodwill, the groceries killed a twenty and some change. And I give ten out of my second twenty to Jax. “Here for gas.”

“Dylan, I haven’t burned that much driving you around.”

“Yeah you have, and if not recently then before. Call it I owe you gas money. I’m not the little sister that you’ve got to spoil Jax, I’m still me.”

“Yeah, Okay wow….I guess there is a genetic thing about some of what you’re going through.”

“Huh? What, why?” I’m totally lost because that’s not really what I meant.

“Yeah, I think your Nagging drive just kicked in.”

(Insert swearing.) And just for that I hit him like seven times in the leg hard just before we pull into the cottage compound. I get out and grab all the stuff and laugh at him as he’s (Insert Jax’s swears.) at me while limping over to the main house with a really good dead-leg. (Insert evil chuckling.)

It’s just after eight and the cheese pizzas are inhaled by the mob and there lots of food muffled thanks and it’s worth it to see the smiles on the faces of Mom and Dad plus the grandparents and the rest of the adult crowd. I even get some kisses and hugs from my Mom and my Grandma for the groceries and Dad gives me that, proud of me for doing that look.

With the way that I’m all messed up and the stuff they’ve had to go through on account of me I’ll tell you it feels damned good.

I get Hill a slice of pizza and set it aside for her because she’s out on a date. The rest of the night I spend getting a shower, and doing my laundry and talking to Dad and Grandpa about the Seager place while playing horse shoes with them and losing to Grandpa badly.

There a bonfire, there usually is but I’m beat and after getting things ready with my clothes and stuff tomorrow and stuff I’m already yawning when Kaylee texts me.

I tell her about seeing Amy right off the get go and she’s actually pretty cool about all of it and just like everyone else she didn’t really get just how bad her home life had always been.

Kaylee does get a good laugh about her feeling me up and then it’s all about telling her about work and old man Seager including the toaster and the taking a leak and all of that completely getting her to freak out in a funny way.

I sign off wishing her sweet dreams and “Hey Can I take you out Friday night?”

“Sure, doing what?”
“Movie, supper, hit the boardwalk?”

“Sure sounds good, how we going?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“Okay. G’nite Dylan.”

“G’nite Kaylee.”

Hill stops into my trailer knocking lightly and I open the door and let her in. she looks at me. “Thanks for the pizza Dylan; Walter wasn’t exactly generous about taking a girl out for a bite tonight.”

“Hey, no problem. So you’re... are you going to see Walter again?”

I ask her then and pour some bottled water into my electric kettle and turn it on. Then start taking my clean bed stuff and start making the bed. I’m doing it differently now, before I didn’t care but now. I kind of got to. I layer my sleeping bag and actually fill it with four of those scratchy blankets. Like a second fluffy mattress pad, then I cover it with two of these nice soft but old quilts tucking them nice and secure and then I add my sheets and my pillows.

Hillary eats but launches into a play by play of her date and how generous he was to buy her a whole thing of popcorn at the show and that was supper and he didn’t open her car door for her or help her out of the car because she was wearing her short red skirt and it would have been the classy thing to do. The entire time she’s actually folding my laundry and I’m taking notes as I make us hot chocolate and kind of picking up other things like these things aren’t about as being spoiled by a guy as I thought they were but a lot of it’s her wanting, needing to feel special like that.

It’s weird I can really tell there’s this lonely little ache of wanting to feel special coming off of her, she wanted this; this year because… “You didn’t dump Paul did you he dumped you…no…he was sleeping around on you.”

Hillary looks at me and her eyes go big and she then I feel the dam break and she starts to cry. She starts to cry really hard sobbing it out after trying to seem like the cool college girl home from her first year. Instead she came home nursing her aching heart and hoping for a summer romance or something to wipe away the stains Paul left on her heart.

He was her last high-school boyfriend and they had been together for two years and had been true-blue in love then he went and did that to her. It goes on for a long while and I text Mom. “Hill’s in a bad way, Paul’s a cheating dick, bring chocolate and tissues.”

Okay I was going to go to bed at around ten. But Mom and Aunt Kathy and Aunt Marie show up with a laptop and chocolate and chips and it goes from this crying mourning of her and Paul’s relationship to finding out that not just him but the vast majority of the guys at college aren’t looking for a steady girl just to fool around half the time and that the dating scene kind of sucks because of the party girls there that just kind of give it up and most of the guys really go for them and that the ones that don’t are taken and half of the ones that are taken will cheat too.

Oddly I’m not drowning in estrogen here or freaking out but wow, I’m so getting things in this gut twisting aching needing for something…something special in their lives thing that these women all seem to have. Even mom and our aunts give it up that they’re scared sometimes of something younger and better coming along because at some point things just went wrong.

And that gets me crying and going off again about this morning with Amy and what she’d been through, what her and my relationship had been like and that how many people can you go without seeing for most of the year and then when you show up it’s just like you never left or been apart. I cry over the stuff she said about me and okay maybe the estrogen was hitting me causing me to feel that wide open.

We watched the movie “Dear John.” On the laptop and Hill fell asleep on us just worn out. I’m not sure how he knew but Dad showed up and kissed Mom then said.

“There’s a pitcher of Margaritas over on the deck for you ladies. If you’ll excuse me.”

He slipped in and he picked Hillary up like she was still five years old to him and carried her out and to her trailer. I heard him say. “C’mon bunny, let your dad tuck you into bed okay.”

I saw the look in my Mom’s eyes and the wistfulness in my Aunt’s and felt it, felt all of it that there’s tears again. About how much he loved being able to do this, for them, for Hill and how much it meant/means to him to be “That guy.” Like what Amy called me… the feeling of my mom and that swell of him being “That guy.” husband and father and her rock and then some.

She hugs me and asks. “Are you going to be alright honey?” she means it in a hundred complex ways.

“Yeah, More than Mom, thanks for the back up and the talking and everything…God dad’s really more than cool isn’t he?”

She sighs and there’s this feeling, this spark there in her that I want too, I want to feel that way about someone sometime and I want someone to feel that way about me too.

I finally get to sleep about quarter after one all cried out and hugged out and totally out of hot chocolate and my stash of chips. But it was worth it. It happened again, I got this connection tonight with my family that was just so intense and so new to me it really does feel like I’m catching up one stuff that the other half of me that might have been my twin had missed out on. I’ve gotten so close to my sister in ways that I never thought was possible and even really closer to my mom and my aunts who hadn’t ever really seemed like people before to me? I mean they were family and nice and I loved them but now…now there’s history between all of us.

I kind of get why there are such powerful connections between women especially family.

I drift off dreaming of tonight and Amy and can’t help but smile as I see in a nice room, big at least as the living room of the trailer she lived in with her mom. There’s a soft look to her as she runs her hands over a nice bedspread before crawling under the covers and snuggling into bed taking a pillow and hugging it tight.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-7

Chapter 7

I wake up feeling stiff and sore body wise but inside there’s this lighter than air feeling going on. Honestly I’m feeling better inside than I’m used to noticing. I guess it’s kind of…It’s kind of like humidity and weather, I had so much going on emotionally inside from me and Hill’s stuff and the release from last night was like the thunderstorm that clears the air.

It’s early pre-dawn and I’m not usually up this early but I dunno, just feeling it I guess. I hit the showers and I kind of get all feel hormonal carried away with getting soaped up and the feeling coming from doing things with my starter boobs are really making up for the fact that I have them. It’s weird the better it feel the more awake and needy Mr. happy is getting. I take care of things while it’s early and I’ve got the place to myself and I really wish that I have or had like three arms at this point…I actually take care of things three times in a row…in a row! Okay yes I know, I shouldn’t be doing these things but I’m a fifteen year old boy. I look at boobs in a bra in a catalog and I’m going to get turned on. The fact that I still have all my guy hormones and a set of my own start boobs…c’mon.

Nuff said there.

I feel so odd and light and all fuzzy yay kind of floaty and giddy in a way oddly with just a girlish whim I borrow one of Hill’s disposable razors and lather up and shave. Underarms and legs I’m rather impressed I didn’t cut myself but it feels weird, slinky? Lighter? I shrug and I use some body lotion called St. Ives or something and kind of do that seal the moisture in thing they’re always talking about on TV.

No I’m not girling out. I just kind of think if I’m going to start having the whole boob thing then I really don’t want pit hair and if I’m doing those then I might as well do my legs too right?

I get dried off and I’ve learned to pat myself dry instead of rub. I’m so getting girls and the soft materials they’re into. I get dressed for now with most people in zombie land and I slip on my basket ball shorts and my AC/DC t-shirt for now and I hit the kitchen. Yeah Dad’s sort of a stay at home dad but all that means is the fact he’s made damn sure none of us are helpless.

I crack up two dozen eggs and separate one dozen and get the white’s beating. And I fire up the big BBQ and set the grill cover Dad made for it out of a sheet of stainless steel. I toss some bacon on that and some sausage rounds and ham slices. I put on the coffee and I take some raisin bread out and cut it up in thick slices. I take the egg yolks and add a bit of sugar and a bit of baking powder and some milk and whip it together and dip the bread into it. The other eggs I add salsa to and chopped green onion and dice celery and then some milk to make omelet stuff to it I put in two table spoons of flour and some baking powder, yes I know it seems weird but one teaspoon of baking powder in two different batches of a dozen eggs you don’t taste it and it fluffs up the eggs something wicked. The two tablespoons of flour give the omelet body but the real kicker for those is once the stuff for the omelet is beaten up I fold in the stiff egg whites it all melds together to make these fluffy mini omelets as I spoon them onto the hot grill.

The last things I do is to steam the English muffins, when you steam them they get all soft inside and good but once you steam them that’s when you put them on the grill sheet and fry/toast them in the fats off the bacon and ham and stuff.

By the time I mix up the frozen orange juice and set out the boxes of cold cereal people are smelling the food and I swear I can sort of tell? Who’s waking up. I get myself a coffee and start to slap out the food for at least Mom who’s the first one up and she’s feeling…Oh that’s so…Just looking at her this morning I can tell she and Dad got uhm…wow, I wish I didn’t know that.

Although the feeling is replaced by just this…Mom smiling at me and I can swear I feel this almost light sort of feeling this good heart filled thing as I pass her a plate with two mini-omelets and a slice of melting provolone cheese and a slice of tomato and a slab of the Jimmy Dean sausage rounds, my version of the egg McMuffins some scrambled eggs on the side and some bacon.

She kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you so much for this honey, you’re up pretty early.”

“Yeah, I know but I slept really good though. I figured since I was up and everything I might as well since I’m making my own plus packing a lunch for work too.”

“Mmmm, (Insert mom food mumbling incoherently.) That still was really good of you and I’m proud of you for last night with the stuff you got and the stuff helping out your sister.”

She gives me the one armed hug where you’ve got a plate in the other hand. I hug her back and smile. “Hey it’s…It’s just something I had to do.” I shrug kind of embarrassed and head back to the BBQ and grill to finish things up.

I’m noticing g something I’m not sure that I really wanted to notice. And that’s the women and girls around this morning that have that special glow to them. Do guys really have any clue to how much of that bouncy happy giggly good morning girliness is actually self induced a lot of the time. Actually I’m getting the pick up on that from pretty much from the guys too…I’m almost kind of squicked out by handing some people their breakfasts…I’m so glad they all did it in the showers…mostly…hopefully. The married couples don’t seem to be as bad as knowing some of my older and younger cousins were doing that.

Actually the vibe that I’m getting off of the older couples is this entirely different feeling. It’s like I’m getting that this is vacation for them and that getting someone else making breakfast is a treat for them especially when you don’t have to pay for it.

Okay being able to tell when it’s your grandparents is kinda squicky too.

I look over to Grandpa. “You’re friend Mr. Seager’s a piece of work Grandpa.”

“Yeah, Eli hasn’t been the same since his Lisa died, she kept that old arse on an even keel.”

“Is he dangerous, I’m not going to have to expect him running around with knives or guns or stuff?”

That got mom’s attention. She’s staring at him but he waves it off.

“No, no Eli’s a retired fisherman he’s just dangerous from himself and he’s gotta shape his place and himself up. The county isn’t being really happy with him going to hell all these years and they’ll do something stupid like fine and charge him until he loses his place.”

I sigh with relief; rub my starter bra for my starter boobs. These things itch y’know that? I didn’t know that breasts got itchy; I mean more than normal skin itchy. I’ve never seen the girls scratching or rubbing.

“I was wondering if I could borrow a few things to help me out over there?” I ask him.

“It’d depend on what and why?”

“One of the dolley’s, and the metal detector. I have a whole bunch of junk appliances over there to move and he doesn’t have a dolley and I have to mow and I got what I hope is all the glass out of the grass over there but I don’t want to run the mower over some hidden chunk of metal.”

“Good idea, I’ll drive you in and me and you Nan can stay and talk to Eli a bit.”

“You sure you want to take Nan into a place like that?”

He chuckles at me and looks and Nan who smiles at him. “Oh we’ve seen a lot worse than that more than likely Dylan, so will you by the time you get to our ages.”

Breakfast went pretty good the rest of the way through and I’m packing my lunch when Hill comes over with a tube of Gold bond stuff. “I noticed, you’re itching…it comes with them growing. This stuff helps with that.”

“Great, fantastic they’re getting bigger.” I try to do that stare down my body at them frowning. I not mad just…y’know…bigger. I’m not sure that I want bigger even if I’m getting better about the whole thing.

Hill hugs me around the shoulders and kisses my cheek which would have bugged me awhile ago and now it’s just a thing. I pack some Dylan McMuffins and a bunch of water and a couple cans of Country time lemonade and go get changed.

I’m getting a bit better dressed this time with heavy jeans and steel toe boots, I cream up with before getting the sports bra on and I put on a light tee shirt and then a heavy one of Jax’s hand me downs a big black faded Marvel Venom tee shirt from back in his comic days. Then a plaid flannel shirt on over that. Ball cap after I pony tail my hair and feet it through the hole in the back. I check myself out in the mirror…not bad like a sort of tweeny butch-girl or femmy looking boy, actually kind of like one of those anime characters where you can’t tell the gender.

I pack the Gold bond and some suntan lotion, bug dope and some gloves and go to Grandpa’s truck and start loading my lunch and the dolley and the metal detector and we’re soon heading out to the Seeger place with me in the back of the truck.

It’s not a bad drive but we’re there in a short amount of time. I unload my stuff and head off to go back to the clean up and grandpa and Nan bang on his door until I sort of hear some banging and crashing and swearing from his place.

I leave them to it.

***

“Ow!!! Ow, ow… (Insert multiple swears here.) “I stagger back from the ancient refrigerator that had decided to not have those magnetic strips holding it shut anymore. I had trotted it out with the dolley to where the stuff would get picked up and set it down and saw Grandpa and Nan leaving so I waved.

I turned around and wham…the corner of the freezer section door right in my starter boob. The right one. Oh it hurts like no pain a guy would get, no it’s not like getting kicked or hit in the balls. Well the scale’s the same but oh…ow. I’ll say thins much that’ll make the boy’s shrink up if you’re like me and have both.

The sheer level of junk is just amazing and this is still after yesterday. Some things are completely useless but there’s some stuff that I know how to fit washing machines that needed belts or tightened here or loosened there or taken apart and just cleaned.

It’s the end product of him being the messed up old drunk guy that he is for god knows how many years. I just can’t help myself after I rescue and clean some tools that were left to the care of the elements I fix the ones that I can fix and go and bang on his door.

I really shouldn’t have done that. He staggers to the screen door in a filthy old muscle shirt and old fruit of the loom once white briefs and let’s just say there was a very low hanging plum. (Insert shudder here.)

I take a step back before the combined smells of booze, B.O. and smoke chokes me. He sways a bit looking at me. “Yeah!!!?? Wadda ya want girl?” it’s that kind of Nick Nolte drunk shout thing.

“Some of that stuff’s fixable what do you want me to do with it?”

“”T’Hell wit it I done car jus get rid of it.”

“So I can have it?”

“Yeah waddever jus get back ta work ya lazy good fer nuthin…” he‘s already started to turn around and hobble stagger scratch and fart his way back into he little hole.

I walk back to the stuff that’s fixed and put it in a different pile. Dad’s a bit of a fix it guy and he’s always building or re-purposing something. So I’m doing the same we can use some of this stuff back at the family compound.

Now when I say compound it’s more like Grandpa and Na’s place. It used to be a farm a long time ago and yeah they used to run it and there’s still some farmy stuff there like the garden. But basically there was an old long tin boatshed there that grandpa had rebuilt for a sweet sixteen dance for mom back in the day and over time and with all the extended family that’s show up it became the place for us kids to have a in from the rain away from the parents lounge and there’s showers and bathrooms and a laundry room all kind of set up there. It’s still kind of sparse and we can always use another washer or dryer or two.

I’ve got enough stuff that we might be able to put together a little kitchenette with hotplate and two toasters and a toaster over I’ve rescued and tried out. I also manage to rescue a couple of badly over painted cupboards that we can use in there. I take the old TV antennae and a TV set that looks like something melted the top of it but works and a lot of stuff.

But for everything I’m keeping there’s three or four loads of other stuff for the curb. I find a working shop phone in one of the garage sheds and call the guy who runs the local scrap and recycle place and he says that he’ll send someone out for the junk. I wait and eat lunch on the side of the road until the truck shows with the flatbed and the guys get out and the take away the huge piles of old newspapers that I baled up with twine and the bags and bags of plastic containers, and assorted glass and even the junk scrap metal that I could haul and didn’t have or see a use for like rusting car parts and stuff like that. There’s three rusting out old car hulks there with stuff actually growing out of them; that they say they’ll be back for. I help them load and load and load even without the cars it must have taken the three of us two hours to get done.

I share out my lemonade to the guys and the youngest takes it and smiles at me and says. “Thanks Miss.”

“Uhm…actually I’m a guy.” I had to say it even if might lead to an ass kicking. He’s looking at me way to interested like.
Other than the fact I’m not gay uhm hello Mr. Perv-much? I’m fifteen…

“Really but you’ve got…” he gestures at my chest and my starter boobs.

“Medical condition.” I fight the urge to cover my chest with my arms and be all defensive.

“Weird.” He says.

“Yeah, you got that right, try living with it.”

“No thank you I like everything I’ve got right where it is.”

“Oh, I’ve got all the regular stuff too, just got added onto according to the Doctors.”

“Still, weird.”

“Thanks, thanks so much.” I reply just this side of being sarcastic. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to say anything bad or try something now. He doesn’t seem the type. But in the end he shrugs and leaves with the older guy who did pretty much nothing but stare at me and parts of me like a dog trying to figure something out.

Sigh…unfortunately I think that I’m going to have to get used to this. I just …damned boobs.

I take the time to zone out and walk around with the metal detector and one of those blue garbage barrels. And spend the afternoon pretty much cleaning the yard of potential shrapnel. I end up taking off my shirts down to the thin one and actually go where no one can get and eyeful and reapply some of the itch stopping stuff and some sunscreen before slipping back into my thin white girl’s tee shirt.

It’s hot but oddly I don’t mind the heat that much and it actually feels kind of nice. It’s still weird though, moving the heave barrel sometimes I’m pressing on my chest in the wrong owie way and I’m so not used to having them plus they’re just tender anyway and stuff and when the wing get’s a bit chilly and they harden the feeling is just so bloody strange. I fill three of the barrels with just junk by the time they come back and they take the cars. I help push and the younger guy almost say no that I shouldn’t do it and I give him this look. He gives up before he even starts.

The older guy comes over and huff. “Boss uh, said to see if a hundred bucks wuz good.”

I look at him. Shit that’s right this stuffs work cash. Now shit, it’s the old guys stuff. I mean he said I could have it or the working stuff….ah crap…crap, crap, crap. I hate being a cop’s kid y’know sometimes.

“I dunno, you guys took two loads and stuff and it’s not my stuff it’s old man Seager’s stuff. One sixty.”

“One sixty now you look here you little…” oh he was going there? I step up right into his face and really bad salami breath.

“You little what?” I step right up to him like he’s not got a foot on me in height and is twice my weight. I can feel it; I can almost smell it on him. He hates me, he thinks I’m a freak and he’s lying about the money.

You ever been so sure of something that you’re willing to bleed over it? I can just feel it. “Why don’t we call your boss and I’ll dicker with him?”

“Nuh, uhm, aaaah…okay one sixty, but I’m gonna get in trouble with the boss as it is.”

He’s still lying, he’s still trying to cheat me but it just feels less? He’s not happy about the one sixty but…do I call him out on it? I get the strangest image in my head of the old Impala sitting up on the flatbed and money being counted out to this guy? Two hundred and fifty bucks I count myself.

The thing is I have no idea how I know that and I’m so certain I’m right. But I’ve got to live here too for the rest of the summer and summers after that so…should I let him have the victory? Let him get away with cheating…no he’s cheating the old guy. I can’t let him do that. I just can’t he’s one of Grandpa’s friends.

“Nope, not with the Impala up there. One sixty for all the other crud but I know how much Mr. Wheeler was supposed to give you. With the Impala it’s two fifty.”

“How the hell did you figure that? Look kid you don’t know shit I’ll call Wheeler right now and settle this shit!”

He starts to dial his phone and I wait and fast snatch it out of his hand and pass it to the younger guy. He blinks looking surprised as he’s just coming up from securing the load. He stares at me a minute and then puts it to his ear. Looks confused then takes it down and turns off the phone. He looks at me. “Okay…why were you calling pizza hut?”

“I wasn’t.” I look right at the older guy and do the girl crossing her arms under he boobs angry pose. He doesn’t say anything but I can feel the swears building up. He’s got this rotten look on his face like someone gave him an enema with a turkey baster full of battery acid.

“Fine…” He’s staring at me and I feel him wanting to hurt me, wanting to really hurt me and there’s this rage in there now. He counts out the money into my hand. Shove’s it in actually. He glares at the other guy. “C’mon let’s get the hell out of here and back to town I’m creeped out by the little freak.”

I watch them leave and it hurt. It hurt getting called a creepy little freak and part of me wonders if that’s what I’m going to get the rest of my life? I walk to the old man’s house and go inside…it’s pretty nasty but I was expecting worse. I think Nan spruced things up a bit while she was here.

Goddamn going through that argument and that whole surge of women’s intuition gave me a headache. (Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear.) But if that’s what women get out of it no wonder they’re so touchy sometimes. I didn’t like what I was feeling from him.

He’s passed out on a dirty sofa and a bottle of Texas 5 star whiskey in his hand and a picture of his wife I guess cradled on his chest. That’s got to suck beyond sucking to out live you life partner. I guess some people just need different ways to get over it, or they don’t. I write a note.

{Mr. Seager. The guys from the salvage yard came and took a bunch of the junk and stuff you were…unavailable at the time so I took two hundred and fifty for the bunch of it and let them cart it off. Oh it was wheeler’s salvage just in case you wanted to know.}

I go to leave and I honestly don’t know if I’m picking up like girl nesting genes or something but I look around until I find some garbage bags and start just shoving trash in them.

I put on my yard gloves for some of the stuff and I put on the laundry and then the dishwasher, then haul out the nine bags of crap and trash from the first floor alone and start on the second floor. The bathrooms make me gag; I’d have thrown up but not anywhere in the house. I…I…I go on this almost psychotic cleaning jag and I think I moved faster doing that and harder than the yard work.

But I swear it’s like I know where stuff should be and what it looks like. Before long Nan’s there? Oh it must be time to go but she’s helping me.

“You’re doing a great job Dylan; this reminds me of the way that Lisa used to have things here. You’re a fair hand at housework.”

“Thanks Nan, I guess it’s my freaky genes kicking in making me go all on instinct and stuff. I’m really just wining it.”

I look up and Eli’s gone. “Where’d Mr.Seager go to?”

“He’s out with your Grandpa going to the dump. I’m also thinking for a long talk and a lot of coffee.”

We work together and Nan and I make a pretty good team. I look at her. “Nan? Have I ever been here before? I mean when his wife was alive?”

“I don’t think so honey why?”

“It’s just I look around the place and I just sort of know, or remember that this is the way that she had this, or that she liked the cushions on the sofa like that and stuff it’s really kind of déjá  vu feeling.”

“Well you might have, I mean we kind of carted you kids around a lot of places when you were younger in the summers and stuff. Maybe you came out here with your dad even we used to get lobsters and other stuff from Eli before he retired.”

“Oh, okay.” I rub at my head.

“Are you feeling okay honey?” she looks and seems concerned it’s kind of nice feeling that more than I normally would. Maybe there’s an upswing to this whole female intuition thing. It’s a little freaky though.

We finish cleaning the bulk of things and she hugs me around the shoulders. I’m getting where Mom and Hill get this from. “We did a good job with this you’re better at this than your mom.”

“Thanks Nan, just what every guy wants to hear, that he’s better at house-work than his mother.” I’m smiling though because we did do a pretty decent job and it’s actually kind of funny in a weird sort of way. “You know I’m not gay right?”

“Dylan, I know you’re not gat, not that there’s anything wrong with that but there’s nothing wrong with being able to do all of this stuff either. God knows that half of, no ninety percent of the girls your age don’t have a clue to do half the stuff that you did today and they don’t want to know either. Your mother never did, I thank god for the day she started seeing your father.”

“Yeah it’s really weird Mom can actually bake like nobodies business but afterwards it’s like she used every dish in the kitchen.” I grin because dad’s banned her from a lot of the domestic duties around the house. Dad get’s a lot of flak I think from not being the man of the house as most people would see it but he’s not like that. Dad’s solid, he’s home and there’s always kids around our blocks showing up and asking him stuff and he’s always helping the neighbors out too. It’s usually some butthead who has no clue that Dad’s such a cool guy.

Grandpa shows up as Nan and I are sitting outside and holy crap he’s clean, wearing pants and clean clothes and shaved and a hair cut. He’s wearing sunglasses which just looks weird on old people to me and he looks hung over.

He stops and looks at me and the house and stuff. “Here you did above and beyond today girl…I saw you havin it out with that Barry Gould thieving dirty fuck…sorry…look you put in fourteen hours so you kin take tomorrow off if ya like.”

He put and envelope in my hand and he stomps inside and Nan and I both yell. “Wipe Your Feet!” And we look at each other and grin. He turns and glares at us then me and points a finger at me as he’s taking off his sneakers. “You are too much like yer grandma there young lady…Loretta I guess it was a pleasure.”

Nan smiles back and says. “We’ll be back tomorrow you old coot, there’s still a lot of stuff to be done.”

Old people wearing sneakers is just as weird or it is to me.

I get into the back of the truck and head back home. I’m aching and hot and tired and my heads pounding. I actually curled on in the bumpy flatbed and dozed until I felt the truck stop. Grandpa shakes my food. “We’re home kiddo.” I crawl out and hug them both before dragging my butt to my trailer. There’s a plastic bag on my door with a can of hot chocolate and stuff for making smores. I smile and go inside and make myself a hot chocolate while checking out my pay envelope. There’s two hundred bucks in there and a note.

“14hrs at $9.00/per is $126.00 the rest is a bonus.” I whistle. “Seventy bucks that’s some bonus.” But Y’know thinking about it I did really, really work for it. I stow it in my safe that’s in my trunk. I don’t got to worry about it at home but I’ve got some light fingered cousins and stuff so a lot of us lock our good stuff up. I’ve got a pretty good stash so far. I dress in a bikini top and a pair swim trunks and I take my hot chocolate and some towels and I head down to the water.

The hot chocolate helps, but of man does the salt water ever feel good. It’s cool but not too bad after it being a nice sunny day but the salt water sort of does that bathing salts magic on me and I find I nice spot relaxing in the water and let the water massage me as the tide comes in and I start getting a bit chilly.

I head in and grab my laundry and my head feels a little better, kinda fuzzy and light though. I think low blood sugar or something. I get a hot shower and talk with some of my cousins and we decide that Me and Summer and Deidre and Chantal and Chris and Nick are going to walk into town and go get something to eat and go see Thor at the movies.

I get dressed in nothing major just a regular bra after lotioning up again and I toss on my Lady Death t-shirt and my black basketball shorts making sure I’m tied pretty good just in case of those guys who want to pants someone. I leave my hair loose and grab some cash and my wallet.

Supper is Dairy Queen where I’m a sucker for flame grilled and I seriously eat my head off with two burgers and a large fries and onion rings. Honestly I really notice the increasing girl stuff going on with me. I’m not sure how much is psychosomatic but I really enjoy my fries and walking to the theater I’m just as into my Brown Blizzard as the girls are I’m right in the middle conversation wise too actually getting into a conversation most guy’d never get into about tan lines and itch cream and stuff but I talk with them about the really cherry few cars we’re seeing in town as we walk, retired guys have some pretty sweet rides.

I’m also still sort of being kept at arms length with the girls because I’m still guy equipped and I stuffed my face and don’t have to worry about my figure. The guys because I’ve got breasts or starter boobs and to them a little girly is acting girly.

It kind of gets a little lonely here in the crowd.

Don’t blame Me I’m A Martian-8

Chapter 8

I really try to shake off the funk that I’m in as we head to the theatre to see the movies. I have to because yeah it’s really messed up the way that I am but I can’t really do much about it. And If I let this get to me too much then it’s going to get to me all the time. I don’t want to live my life in a constant state of “Poor me, Pity me, Why me.”

It’s got a name, Chimeraism, Intersexed… I’ve got a medical condition. I’m not the only one in the world like this and they cope so I’m going to cope too. Screw that! I’m going to have fun, I’m going to live.

I’m actually glad that I’m a jock you know. There’s this psychology of psyching your self up that kind of comes with the job. I focus on that and the music being played around and the fact people are having fun around us here on vacation and things.

I swear I can feel the good vibes around me and I can feel the funk slide off of me like dirt in the shower.

We get to the theatre and we’re still kind of talking about stuff and I get my tickets to Thor and really got to pee while in line for the snacks. My cousin Chantal notices me and takes me by the hand. “C’mon I’ve gotta use the bathroom.” She starts to drag me to the ladies room. “Hey, I can’t go in there!”

“Well you can’t use the guy’s you’ve got boobs now Dylan. Just think about the assholes and the perv factor.”

“Oh yeah…eeew.”

I get inside and hurry to a stall and sit, yes I’m sitting and it takes me a minute to get uhm organized and I guess relief is relief right I get out and I’m at the sink washing my hands while my cousin’s looking at me.

“What, you were expecting something different Dylan?”

“Uhm actually yeah… it’s kind of a letdown on the feminine mystique thing.”

I’m looking around and there’s stalls instead of the urinals, the paint’s brighter and there’s more sinks and a full wall mirror over that oh and the machine with the pads and tampons in it. Otherwise...other than that and being cleaner it’s not a big deal.

She snorts at me and starts to touch up her make up and it’s so strange, like some kind of habit. The other girls are doing the same and there’s this weird vibe like this always there underlying pressure that they are in some kind of subconscious competition with each other or something that’s so strange to pick up on.
Wow…women…are complicated, there’s all these things going on all at the same time it’s like some kind of subplot…I’m so outside the context of it but part of it at the same time as some of the girls are taking me in and seem to be making opinions of me.

Very weird to get sized up like that and not be on the ice.

We head out to the lobby and line up for the snacks again and I’m a little self conscious at this point I can see some girls I don’t know checking me out and there some guys I don’t know checking me out. I swear I can feel the guys staring at my starter boobs and my butt. So freaking strange.

I kind of lose the awkwardness of the whole thing once I hit the concession stand and the smell s hit me. I get myself a large tub of popcorn salted but with extra butter and an extra large mountain dew no ice. Unless it’s really hot out getting ice is their way of ripping you off of the money on the pop. Oh and I get a bag of BBQ peanuts too. I’m not a sweets eater usually but that’s changing right not I’m in grease and salt mode and crunchy, I’m really into crunchy stuff lately.

We get our seats and I prefer to get down far left but I’m in a group so we actually sit in the middle seats. It’s the safest spot, if some idiot starts throwing popcorn or stuff the middle seats are the safest because the ushers can see you better and them. The back rows are off limits. That’s the territory of the older kids and used because they’re the darkest seats and that’s the best make out spots.

It’s kinda strange to being assumed I’m a girl and there’s a bit of guys getting out of our way and even two moving so we can all sit together. My cousins Chris and Nick give me weird looks when I don’t correct them. I look at them. “Hey if this is the way I’m turning out then I might as well get the benefits.”

…………..The movie was alright, I’m into comics and stuff a bit but being a jock most people wouldn’t assume that. There was an Ooooh gaspy moment when the guy who plays Thor was like all without his shirt and all big and cut and stuff. It was actually kind of interesting, I’m watching and the girls were all like talking about how cute and buff he was but I’m a bit jealous of his body because I’m never going to look like that and that’s still kind of a messed up thing in my self image and while I’m not attracted to him I’m kinda in their shoes a little and I’m trying to get why he’s yummy to them. I mean I know why but the reason…that thing that make’s people go all Ooooh over the opposite sex.

I’ve got know problem checking a nice looking girl out and not in comparison but in the normal guy way. So doe’s that mean that my Chimera sister might have been a lesbian?

But the movie does get better and better and I get more into it and I can actually feel my brain relax and sort of shut off and at one point I let out this sigh of relief like I just got rid of this sinus headache…no more like pressure, I never really noticed it until it stopped. If the movie was a bit suckier or more boring I think I’d have fallen asleep. As it was just out of habit I stretched when I got up and Nick was drinking the last of his pop and his eyes went huge at the sight of me stretching and stared at my boobs and he choked and pop shot out of his nose…we heard a tink on the floor too as one of the melted down ice cubes went out his nose with the pop.

Ow…that so looked painful. But of course we’re all related so it ends up that we’re all laughing at him and I’m sorry I’m laughing pretty hard too, maybe worst because it was sort of my fault.

Honest…I didn’t mean to do it.

Boobs.

Wow, more powerful than I thought.

Oh…if you got to see it or rent it if it’s out on video wait until after the trailers or you’ll miss something for the Avengers movie I think.

……………..We all head out walking through town and we stop at Dairy Queen again, yes twice in a night. But the guys and me are still hungry and the girls hem and haw about their weight and stuff but they get some things still but are actually being really thrifty and sharing. Chris mouths off about girls being pretty chintzy about it we they don‘t got a guy paying for stuff. I don’t know if it’s the hormones but I punch Chris in the arm…hard…then dead-leg him while he’s holding his arm.

“Ow Dylan that hurts you fucker.”

“Hey, you deserve that for being an ass Kissifur.”

“Being an ass? Wadda-ya mean?”

“The reason girls don’t really mind getting stuff paid for is they’re broke half the time. You guys don’t know how really expensive things are for girls.”

“Yeah but no one tells you girls to buy all that crap you get.”

“Oh? And you really think so, you think girls can just not buy underwear or bra’s or make-up. You want them to look good, to smell good, to have everything all just so, while guys get away with being slobs. You guys think you know about peer pressure but you have know idea the stuff they got to go through just to fit in.”

“Yeah well….you chicks are crazy.”

“Yeah and you’re completely dateless….and I’m not a girl!”

“But you’re defending them, you might as well be.”

“Yeah maybe because; One I’m walking in their shoes and Two I’m not an asshole.”

“Whatever dude.”

DQ is pretty popular place to hang out really and we attracted a bit of an audience and some of the girls around are looking at me with smiles and there’s a few with this confused look. Mostly from the tourist kids.

I get fries of course and a burger and some onion rings and there’s a bit of a yuppie crowd there right now mixed in with some tourist kids. They’re a bit annoying but at the same time not that bad either. You spend enough summers here and you get used to the tourists. DQ is kind of popular because they’ve got picnic tables and a couple of speakers under the awning and they pipe out the local radio station that plays some pretty decent rock and roll and they don’t mind a crowd building up because that usually means a lot of business.

We’re just hanging out and not talking about much when I see “Dick” and his buddies and some girls and “Dick” gives me a dirty look and so do a couple of the guys with him and he’s leaned over and muttering into his date’s ear and then she’s looking at me and there’s the stare over my body and a frown and then a sneer on her face as they go inside.

I look at the others and they don’t seem to have really noticed yet and I’m trying to decide whether to leave or not when there seems to be more and more people looking at me and there’s whispers. Not from everyone, but there’s enough..

Uhn-huh, you couldn’t be a man could you? You just had to act like a dick, “Dick.”

Someone whispers into the ear of one of my cousins and she turns and she looks at me I look at her and then I look down.

SLAPP!!!

Yeah the caps because with all the people there and the music playing you still heard it really loud and clear.

Deidre’s standing over the girl who’s actually on the ground crying but looking shocked.
“Dylan’s my cousin you sneaky little skank and it’s a medical condition, you say one more work out of that mouth of yours and I do more than slap the taste out of your mouth!”

Another one…one of the one’s with Rick…I mean Dick…one of the girl shoves Deidre saying. “He’s a freak and a pervert, medical condition my ass he’s some kind of tranny.”

Now Deidre hit’s the ground and bounces right back up to her feet. I’m gonna say there’s a lot of stereotypes about Jersey and stuff but there’s two big groups here; Italian and Irish and we’re the Bishop family.

Oh yeah Deidre’s got her Irish up.

I lunge to try to get in between everything before it becomes an episode of The Jersey Shore. But I’m too late and Deidre’s already hit her twice and is ripping off her dress while the other girl tries to scratch and claw at her and then there’s a rush of people…and cursing and swearing and suddenly it’s a reality TV show.

Then I get hit, a fist slams into my right side of my face and takes me right to my knees. I see stars and see “Dick.” standing over my and hauling off to boot me. I might be getting to be girly but I’m still a guy and playing right wing you get into your fair share of thumps and in a good number of scraps.

I grab his foot as he tries to connect. And lift up and push and twist and turn his leg taking him off balance and to the ground. He goes down with an ooof and while he’d down and I am too I kick him in the face.

We’re both up at the same time and he slugs me again. I don’t so much take it as counter react and we’re both slugging it out like you’d see at the rink. No thinking of planning just reacting both of going all out back and forth with both fists. We’re going all out and I think it goes on for a few minutes before “Dick” vanishes… I mean he was there one second then some fast big dark shape hit’s him. I fall backwards only to be caught by my cousins and I’m reeling as soon as I’m not fighting anymore and I can taste my own blood and I’m trying to get up, to get out of their arms before realizing that I’m not in a fight any more.

I hear Jax….

“I told you…I fuckin told you that you start your shit…you hurt Dylan and you’re gonna deal with me you remember!”

Jax isn’t just kicking “Dicks” butt he giving him a straight up beating. It’s not even a fight, Jax is a trained boxer and he’s methodically and violently beating “Dick.” Badly…as much as I want to be mad at Jax for getting involved because you don’t do that in guy-land unless you’re stopping the fight or the fight was really one sided…I mean it’s just how stuff is. But there’s this new, this other side of me that’s seeing my big brother coming to my rescue…and there’s a mix of my girly sides reaction to that mixed in with it.

I push the others off of me and move over and grab Jax’s arm at the elbow. “Jax!…Jax…stop he’s done, he’s had enough.” It takes everything I’ve got left to pull his arm away.
There’s a bit more chaos going on and Nina pulls in fast in a half ton truck. She’s Amy’s sister, well half sister on her mother’s side and older than me and Amy. She yells at us. “Get in someone called the cops!”

Jax runs to his car with some girl with him and me and my cousins and a few others run and pile into the back of her truck and we peel out of there leaving a trail of burnt rubber and “Dick” and his friends back there as we can start to see the flashing lights.

Nina’s got her truck going about seventy and there’s some yells from us just out of adrenaline and we hit the Old Beach road with Jax’s car and another one behind us and some one cranks up the stereo and “Sympathy for the Devil.” starts to play by The Rolling Stones as we race down the dirt road heading for the beach in the middle of the night.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian…9

Chapter 9

We’re all full of adrenaline as we’re racing up Old beach road to a lonely stretch of sand dunes the locals usually end up partying at. We just call it The Dunes or some call it Desert Sands but that’s like the name from back in Dad’s era and stuff.

Van Halen’s “Mine all Mine.” Is blaring out of the front of the truck and there a lot of wild yells and screams and stuff. I’m getting increasingly sore and in pain as the ride is going so when someone passes me a beer I take it. And when someone passes me the Jack Daniels I take that too.

The beer is beer but the whisky just burns it’s way down my throat and sets my whole mouth into searing pain as there’s all these cuts on the inside of my cheeks and lips and my gums from getting beat on by “Dick.” I might not have felt it then but I’m feeling it now.

I passed the bottle to someone else and ended up curling up in the back of the truck as instead of the whisky numbing the pain it just woke up all the other places that I’m hurt and it all just slowly starts to throb.

I think that one of the girls pulled my head onto her lap but I’m not sure, I’m crying and trying to breathe through the rising pain and stuff. I sort of pass out and I remember Jax putting me in the back seat of his car and taking me home.

……………..I wake up and Mom’s there beside me. Wet cloth in her hands and she’s looking at me. “Interesting night you had last night.”

I groan and try to roll over but it hurts too much. “I…I…didn’t mean for it to turn to crap mom!” The tears start to just come out hard and fast. “I didn’t even start it just someone…”

“I know, Deidre fessed up to taking the first swing.”

“But it wouldn’t have even happened if I wasn’t there! The whole thing started because of me! Because I’m a freak!”

“Shussssh Honey, that’s not you’re fault. You never forced them to act like that, they weren’t at gunpoint.”

“It’s going to be the same thing home!” I can’t stop the tears and the hurt. The effing hormones are in full swing just boiling up into this perfect storm in me and I keep seeing the fight and Patterson’s bigger than here and I’m not saying less friendly but it’s not like Ocean City. I keep getting all these images of my entire life home just turning to complete shit and all the hassles and all the hate and all of a sudden I can’t breath and my Mom’s trying to tell me to calm down and then everything just greys out and then goes black.

I’m not sure how long I’m out but I can hear music on my skin. I can hear whale song on my skin. I’m chilly and warm at the same time and I open my eyes to see water rise and gently hit me. I’m in the ocean with dad. We’re just sitting in the water on the sand and I feel like I can breathe…the sea water seems to “feel” like it sparkles against my skin and when the next wave hits my chest there’s this faint bit of whale song in there with it?

It “feels” like? ~Be well~?

It “feels” like the sounds, the songs were for me, to me?

I must be losing it. Gee, I wonder why?

“Dad?”

“Yeah…”

“Why are we in the water?”

“You were freaking out, hyperventilating so I carried you out here.”

“Okay…”

“I did this with your Mother the summer she was shot and was having her own PTSD stuff going on. It helped her… so I brought you out here.”

“Dad…”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks…It helped…It worked…”

“You’re welcome Dylan.”

I lean on him and he’s still got his arms around me but there’s this feeling but not like the other feels I was getting like the waves and the ocean were kind of rocking me as much as Dad was and that there all the BS and freaking out that I was going through was being washed out to sea with each wave.

I’m in there until the sparkle feelings begin to turn to the pins and needles sort of feeling when you’re getting cold and I start shivering. Dad picks me up and carries me to shore. There’s just Mom there it’s late, likely in the really early morning. Dad carries me right up to the deck of the main house and there’s the BBQ going casting off a nice bit of heat and I can smell a pot of coffee going on it and something that smells greasy but good.
Dad passes me to mom who sits with me on the sort of sofa thing we have out on the big deck. He slips into the house and comes right back out with a flannel blanket fresh out of the dryer and smelling like fleecy and wraps it around both of us and then pours us some coffees. Dad makes the best coffee I’ve ever had and no one knows the secret to his blend.

It’s like sinking into just…it’s something that’s Dad. I swear I can feel that thing between him and Mom. How much they click and how much they love each other. I might be turning and changing into who knows what but I want to be like my Dad.

There’s more guys like him around then most people think. Dad’s and artist, a handyman and he’s the stay at home parent. Mom makes all the cash as it were but that’s cool. Dad does stuff, tons of stuff to hold us all together like tonight at the beach. There are guys who do stuff for their kids like that.

He’s making me a plate of food and Mom’s snuggled up to me. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah Mom, I think so. I kind of lost it a bit didn’t I?”

“Yeah you did.”

“So how much trouble am I in?”

“Well you didn’t start the fight and then again you didn’t get clear of it either and you were drinking and everything. I could give you a lecture and stuff Dylan but tonight’s kind of a wash. Deidre started it at least physically and she owned up to it and from what the other kids said you weren’t looking for trouble and one of the other kids in town and his friends started it up verbally. I think you’re good on this one.”

“I still owe you guys on the other fine.”

“No, we’re cutting that one down. You’ve earned some slack there so we’re only charging you two hundred and fifty.”

“Thanks…” There’s a bit or gratitude and a bit of sarcasm in that. My family is the only one I know where there’s fines over stuff that you did and amounts per hour or by the job for household chores.

“It’d be nothing if you got rid of the tattoo.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, it’s going to look stupid with me still changing and stuff.”

“Good, Jax having his tattoos is bad enough.”

“Uh-huh, but if I get too girly looking I might get a tramp stamp.” I manage a smile and tickle her a bit.

“Oh…No goddamned way.” She tickles me back and makes a face at me. It helps, it really does I feel a lot better.

“Thanks Mom. I know I don’t say that enough to you or to Dad.”

“You’re welcome honey it’s all a part of the job of being a parent.”

Dad comes over with home fries over a big slice of toast on a platter with roast beef mixed into gravy like a hot sandwich and two forks and Mom and I sit and we pig out sharing the hot Sandwich together and we talk. I tell her what the night was like and not just the stuff at the DQ parking lot with the fight but before at the movies and the way I was getting looked at and the things that I noticed that were going on between the girls.

She’s nodding and saying between mouthfuls. “It’s so much more complicated on the girl’s side of things. You’re constantly getting judged and weighed and measured by the girls around you.”

“But why? I mean it just seems a bit petty sometimes.”

“It’s just the way that a lot of girls seem to be. There’s a shortage in our heads sometimes that there only so many good guys to go around and we get really all bent out of shape about it when we get beat out of a guy that we wanted. A whole lot of a girl’s psyche is developed around how she’s thought of in relation to all of that and we use it as our social gauge and as a weapon.”

“But, that’s stupid!”

“You’re right it is and we admit even to ourselves that it’s stupid but it’s meshed in partly with nature and instinct, but mostly women are shoved this idea of the perfect girls life down out throats since we were little and we want prince charming and the fairy tale and that’s what we go for a lot of the time.”

“So the guys that seem to have it all and all the girls is because they all want that fairy tale for themselves?”

“More or less, I mean things are just different everywhere and stuff but yeah. We are driven to compete with each other over a happy ending that might not exist. The men that we want in our heads are mostly fiction.”

“But most guys just want a girl that’ll go out with them. Playing up in competition over a few guys is what created these assholes that think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread to girls.”

“Its complex Dylan, but you’re going to likely see a lot more of this stuff coming you’re way. Whether you like it or not you’re pretty.”

“I’m pretty?”

“Yes, you have this very cute kind of butchy-pretty thing that you’ve got going on.”

“I do? Like girl pretty?”

“Yes and it’s like that tomboy pretty girl next door thing and it won’t get you any favors with some girls. Pretty and non-threatening and approachable is pretty threatening.”

“It is?”

“Yes why do the stuff you said the other day in the car freaked your sister out. Most girls do not know how to be that girlfriend that’s actually a friend and you’re built to be just that. The fact that it’s more of an inside connection that you’ll have with someone is even more threatening than being all hot and stuff. Being hot doesn’t last and usually never results in a long term relationship.”

“So….”

“Even if you never get into guys the fact you resemble a girl enough to sort of fit into their social spot will make you a target just because you’re pretty and more because you’ll beat them hands down about how the guys think.”

“So I’m going to get this stuff regardless but more because I’m “pretty” but more because I get along with guys so much?”

“Pretty much honey.”

“You girls are nuts.”

“Yup but you guys have that whole macho whatever thing going on that we don’t get either so…and that doesn’t help us either because we’re trying to decode you guys and it’s like getting a fax signal over the phone sometimes. And then there’s the whole hormone thing too.”

I hunch. “Don’t remind me.”

Mom hugs me again and helps me up. “It’s not going to be all bad Dylan, our hormones might make a little more all over the place with our feelings but that’s a good thing too be cause we’re more in touch with things and sometimes we can dump stress.”

“By freaking out?” I frown pulling the blanket around me.

“Yes, what you had happen was coming, you’re under a lot of stress honey and adding that to getting it a fight and getting a beating from it…yeah you blew and cried yourself to a bad spot but it would have been a hell of a lot worse I think if you had just bottled it up.”

“So I’m going to cry a lot more?” I start heading to my trailer and she’s walking with me.

“Yes more than you usually do but you’re still a boy so likely les than a girl normally would. But it can be a good thing Dylan.”

“Really? How?”

“My feelings make up how I experience things, what we feel is what gives women that sense of intuition sometimes. I’ve learned from my own feelings and being sensitive to people how to read them better and that’s made me a better cop. If I can do it then you can do it.”

She smiles at me and I can’t help but to smile back because…because we’ve never really talked like this before and stuff. But since this and this summer we’ve been getting tighter and tighter knit and I’m seeing her more than just a mom and just a cop but as this whole person I never really stopped to talk to before.

It’s so weird in a way my Dad is awesome and really he’s someone I’ve always loved and admired. I mean is there anything really unmanly about a guy who takes care of the house and cooks supper while he’s tinkering away at someone’s water heater, TV, Car or lawnmower?

But I’m starting to think regardless of me being adopted that Mom and me have more in common that her and my brother or sister. And for a guy that’s strange but Mom’s the kind of cop that doesn’t freeze on a gunfight, runs in with the firefighters into a burning building, or belly slide out over a frozen pond to save someone’s dog that fell through the ice. (She’s done all three.)

I’m actually pondering that over by the time I get to my trailer and look at her then give her a big hug. “G’nite Mom.” I hug her and open the door and just sit there leaning sort of on the doorframe. She gives me a really big hug. “G’nite kiddo, your Grand-dad will run you to work tomorrow he said.” I nod and squeeze her a bit closer. “Good.”

She’s heading away and I say. “Mom?”

She turns. “Yes honey?”

“Do you know one of the strongest things keeping me sane about my changing and becoming more and more like a girl?”

“No honey?”

“I’ve got one heck of a woman for a role model.” I can’t help but smile at her but the smile she gave me back….I’ve never seen or “felt” someone just “shine inside.” Like that ever.

“G’nite Dylan.”

“G’nite Mom.”

I swear that look doesn’t fade or that feeling just coming off of her either until my imagination seems to have turned into what might very well be happening between her and dad now that everyone’s gone.

It doesn’t bug me as much as it did or would have. I guess realizing that you actually like your parents as people changes how things go on then?

I get ready for bed and stop to look at myself in the mirror and have a very Huh? I don’t get it moment. All the cuts and scraped and bruises that should be there are gone? I even try and twist and turn and stuff and nothing hurts past the normal points that I’m able to turn and bend and twist.

I’m not sure if it’s still being damp and sort of chilled that it’s got my hair as dark as it looks or the fact I’m kind of pale right now but there’s this almost aqua color to my eyes for a few minutes. I undo my bra and set in with my clothes in the wash pile and slip into a soft nightshirt and drift off into a really tired sleep.

~ I dream of whale songs and blue water. ~

Don’t Blame Me I’m a Martian-10

Chapter 10

It’s so good, I’m drifting in this haze that just is like this…I don’t know it’s that foggy place in dreams like you see on TV. I’m in this hotel room and it’s nice and it’s there’s some soft music playing and I’m in a silk teddy and I hear. “Hey beautiful…” it comes from Kaylee coming out of the bathroom in this skimpy sexy set of lingerie and that’s it.

I look a round a little confused and she smiles and slides up and kisses me and there’s this feeling of lipstick? On lipstick as she kisses me and I’m smelling her arousal just barely underneath her Juicy perfume.

It’s so awesome I’m getting really rock hard and she’s grinding her crotch into mine. Her beautifully made up eyes widen and then she smiles. She’s got such a sexy smile and her hands run over my body making me shiver in a good way… this whole girly skin might not be so bad.

Her hands come up and they cup my breasts and she feels them playing her hands, her palms gently over the skin and she plays with my nipples and squeezes…

“Oh Kaylee…oh…fff…!” is about all I get out my voice climbing higher and I cum in hot powerful torrents…

Then I wake up.
My hands on my starter boobs and I’m breathless, kinda stunned and giddy.
And…
Sticky…

I’d be all sort of freaked right now but I’m not sure just how I should feel. I feel good and I’ve had a wet dream a time or two but this took the cake for me.

I’m just lying there and my hands are still there and I give them a gentle squeeze…oh…and I run my palms in circles over them…oh…Then I slip my nipples that are sticking up so much more than before between my middle finger and ring finger and cup my hand, squeeze my boob and it traps the nipple just so them slides off sort of plucking at them…

“Oh…Oh…god…”

It’s almost roll the eyes in back of your head good…I can’t describe the delicate sensual sensitivity…there’s no feeling that compares to the feeling of my breasts, not in my male experiences…but so connected to me too…The better it gets the more I fondling and play with myself the more hard I get…until I get past the point of no return and get off without me even touching myself.

I get “There.” one more time even before I’m panting and spent and instead of my boobs feeling so good they’re settling into the ache and throb that comes with starter boobs.

I get up and it’s early evening, I slept the entire day pretty much. I get up and I’m really embarrassed even though I’m all alone and I wait until I’m pretty sure not that many of the relatives are around and I bag my bed clothes and head off to the laundry and the showers.

I’m doing my laundry and then into the showers, we have separate hot water heaters for the laundry and the shower area. I slip into just some track pants and I’m trying to figure out why my bra is pinching when Hill comes in.

“Problems?”

“Yeah it’s pinching me and they’re sore enough as it is.”

“Ow…I sympathize, I remember that, here let me see.”

I move over and turn my back to her and she unhooks me. I lean back a bit. “No date?”

“No, I’m laying off dating for awhile, the guys around here are either tourist guys who pretty much want one thing and are full of themselves or there’s the local guys who think this is where they’re filming the jersey shore and think that they’re gods gift to women.”

“So how’s that different from the college guys?”

“It’s not a whole lot but there are some guys not like that or so the rumors say. I’ll say this little bro…getting to talk to you and pick you’re brain about guys kinda has me looking at what I want a lot differently.”

“What you want a guy with boobs?”

“No…eeew, I’m not lez, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

“Good, I think my future girlfriend or more will kinda have to be or leaning that way.”

She adjusts my straps and stuff that I never paid attention to the first time around and stuff. “Uhm Dylan?”

“Yeah Hill?”

“You’re getting bigger.”

“Bigger?”

She reaches over and cups my boobs in her hands. “Bigger.”

“Oh dammit.”

“Looks like you’re going to be one of the Oh Wow girls.”

“I’m not a girl Hill, but what do you mean?

“You know the girls you see at the end of the years and they’re a carpenters dream and then you see them after summer break and they’ve grown so much up top everyone’s going Oh Wow.”

“Oh that’s just great.”

“Yeah…you’re likely going to be hitting a low B to mid B cup by the time that school hits.”

“Great anything else?”

“You’re getting a little bubble but and a bit hippy.”

“Hippy?”

She moves her hands and takes mine and places them on my waist and then slides them down and there’s a flaring there going on now…more that what I had.

“Okay…I guess, shit…shit…shit… shit…”

“Hey language young lady.”

“Bite me. Mom’s not here.”

“I’m sorry Dylan I can’t imagine changing like that, well I guess I mean the other way. I’d freak if my boobs shrank and I put on like muscles and got all like hairy and stuff.”

“Yeah I’m just lucky nothing’s started to like shrink or stuff.”

“Like?”

I use both thumbs to point to my crotch.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh yeah, every things the same down there….but…”

“But what?”

“This goes nowhere got it.”

“Fine, fine got it. I swear.”

“I had a wet dream uhm because of these things.”

“Okay, I guess that’s natural…sorta…”

“Hill, I kept going.”

“Kept going?”

“Twice before I stopped because the girls were getting tender.”

“Oh…Oh….shit…you…?”

“Yeah, I apparently some of my equipment acts like yours and keeps going strong afterwards.”

“Whoa….”

“Yeah, seriously Whoa.”

“Wow, you do find a girl that’s into it then she’s gonna be a lucky girl?”

Okay I can’t help but to turn red and blush at that. “Hill…”

“It could be a symptom though, like it’s changing too.”

“Oh fuck…”

“Hey, it’s not that bad, being a girl’s awesome a lot of the time.”

“Uh-huh, not really.”

“What do you mean not really?”

“Shaving, clothes, periods, getting pregnant, me maybe starting to like guys, there a whole huge list of crap.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Starting to like guys?”

“Hell no!”

“Okay….just asking. I think you should talk to Mom and Dad and maybe the doctors again.”

“Hell with that, I’m done playing voodoo doll. If it does start to happen and I start turning into a girl I’ll be okay…”

“Dylan…”

“No Hill, I’ve got you and Mom to look up to, I’ll be good. Besides you like being a girl right?”

“Yeah, love it most of the time.”

“Most of the time?”

“Yeah, y’know…shaving, cramps, bloating, tampons or pads, bleeding, men fucking with your heart and your head, birth control….” She’s grinning at me. I’m smiling back and we hug.

“Hey Hill, you wanna help me with the rest of my stuff like showing me how to adjust stuff?”

“Sure, how bout that and a crash course in girl.”

“Uhm…”

“Look, even if you don’t use the stuff it’ll show you a lot more about girls.”

“Okay…What do I have to do?”

“Buy the food.”

“Okay…”

She leads me out to the sort of lounge area and sticks two fingers in her mouth and blasts out a whistle. “Hey guys, clear out. Girls! Go get your things, we’re having a slumber party! We’re going to give Dylan a super intense course in all things feminine, total girlymersion!”

Oh Crap.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-11

Chapter 11

I’m standing there stunned at the sudden rush of the girls laughing and squeeing and running all over the place. Hillary’s laughing a bit too. But she’s pointing at various girls and shouting out orders.

“Bring all your clothes even the good stuff and the stuff that you’re not using that might fit Dylan!”

“Hill.”

“You three get all the different make-up stuff we have and bathroom stuff!”

“Hill.”

“You two junk food!”

“Hiillll.”

“You two Movies!”

“Yo, Earth to Hill.”

“Deidre, mud masks and cucumbers!”

“Hillary!”

“Yes Dylan?”

“What the hell? Are you losing your marbles?” I cross my arms and stare at her.

“No…This is a crash course, all the stuff you wanted to know about girls and being a girl and were too scared to ask.”

“I never asked to be a girl!”

“Well You’re doing a darned good job at being one.”

She gestures up and down me with on hand and when I don’t get it she does the whole cross her arms just under her breasts and frigging mirrors me. Dammit.

“Dammit, that doesn’t mean anything Hillary where else am I going to put them?”

“Yeah and you do it so naturally.”

“I do not!”

“Dylan just be real for a minute okay? We don’t know just how this whole thing’s going to turn out but right now like I said you’re risking coming home and being one of the Oh WoW girls and you’re not going to have us around that much to rely on.”

“So?”

“So, well so what if some thing changes and you start changing? Even if it doesn’t happen you’re still whether you like it or not are turning into a bit of a babe.”

“I am?”

“See, part of you reacted to that, part of you and part of your brain is female.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I am reminding you because you’re going into junior high. You think girls are complicated now with the stuff you know there are going to be some really nasty scunts out there that’ll hate you just on principle, some will hate you for the whole being different and some will hate you seriously because you’re better looking than they are.”

“Okay, Hill you’re scaring me.”

“You should be scared. You hear a lot about gay kinds and stuff getting cyber bullied but that’s news, there is so much girl on girl bitchy hate for no good reason shit that goes on you need to be taught to hold your own.”

I stop and I stare at her and she’s got this look like Mom has when she’s dead serious about something. She’s definitely not going to let go of this at all. I raise my hands.

“Okay, okay but no freaky stuff with me having to insert stuff where things should absolutely not be inserted.”

That gets her and a couple of the girls close by laughing at me.

“And No perms or other drastic like stuff okay?”

“Okay, Okay but we might do stuff like that with the other girls.”

“I’m fine with that.”

It really doesn’t take that long before the place becomes girly central. I’m stripped to my boxer briefs and my bra but they’re in not much more really quickly and the odd even less and the few younger girls in their Pj’s or nightgowns and stuff.

It becomes this whole event really, popcorn’s being popped and junk food is being brought out and we start to go over all these different clothes that they bought and this whole near department store of stuff and it begins.

Holy molley I had no idea that there were so many colors and that there’s dozens of kinds of shirts. Oops sorry their not shirts a shirt is a whole different thing and the really freaky scary thing is that it’s filtering itself into my brain.

I like a lot of the long sleeved tees, even the girly ones. I can see those becoming part of my clothes I guess. I like the girly print plaid shirts. I’m not a big fan of the poet sleeves on anything or those puffy sleeves.

Nikki one of my cousins stares at me as I pass back the poofy short sleeved blouse. “What it’s cute and the color looks good on you?”

“No, thank you.”

“Why?”

“Look at the sleeves, I just can’t do it, it’d make me look like I shoved my arms through two cupcakes.”

Of course that got the girls laughing and I’m laughing too. And Anna, yes another cousin there’s like forty of us and three quarters are girls. Well Anna’s going. “See! See! That’s why I won’t wear that retarded stuff either.” And she high fives me.

And that turns into me because “I’m A Guy” to actually give them the guy opinion about the stuff that they wear.

And while that’s going on because there’s a lot of arguing over cuts and shapes and color and the way that we guys see things I’m trying on bra’s and other things….even panties.

Oh not really into them so much, they fit good and stuff around the butt and the hips but their designed for someone un equipped, some are okay, some are just embarrassing, those boy cut panties aren’t cut for my boy. Hipster cut panties…well the racy looking ones make me look like well one of those she-male ad’s in the porn mags. I…I…I’m not sure I’d ever want a guy or anything to be into me like this…but a girl…Kaylee maybe…?

I have to grab a towel and cover up. I’m getting stared at by the girls…ever have like a dozen girls staring at your crotch, yeah my daydream boner went away pretty quick. They’re still staring. “What1?”

“Holy crap Dylan you’ve got a dick!” Sherry another cousin blurts out then covers her mouth with both hands.

“I’m a guy of course I’ve got one.”

That starts a babble of stuff from most of them all at once. It’s as bad as when they all wanted to see and touch my boobs when they first started.

“I thought it’d be smaller.” Tracy.

“Why?”

“It looks weird.” Amy she’s thirteen…gawd….what? Wait!

“What? Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing Dylan, it’s normal looking.” Thank god that was from Hillary.

“Can We see it?” that’s several of the girls.

“No! I’m not a stripper!”

“How Big is it?” The same ones that wanted to see it.

“That’s none of your business!”

“I think he’s a good seven plus inches maybe eight.” That was Deidre.

“Deidre, fuck off!” I slap her shoulder and cover my face with my hands and I’m hot in the face I’m that embarrassed. And apparently that does interesting things to your boobs when you have your arms up.

Anna looks right at my breasts and has a big frown. “How the hell is that fair?”

“What?”

“You’ve got perfect boobs.”

“I what?”

“Perfect boobs, look I know you’re not exactly thrilled with having them Dylan; and their still kind of new and all perky and stuff but you have like perfectly symmetrical boobs.”

“Huh?”

That leads to me getting measured again and huh? It’s true, both breasts are exactly the same size and apparently that’s either extremely rare or man-made.

I apparently also like the higher end bra’s or a sports bra, I like the Jessica brands and the Jezebelle stuff and as cliché as it is Victoria Secret….hey if I got these things the I want to look good in what I’m wearing, yeah I’m not really sure what that makes me. I also like Haynes her way stuff too. But yeah the breast thing really strike home in a stunning way when Hillary get’s me into one of her Victoria Secret Miracle bra’s. You know the ones that boost you up so you look like you have up to two extra cup sizes. I go from a really good high B Cup to looking like a heavy C cup and…

“Whoa…holy crap…I’ve got…”

“Boobs!” several of the girls say at once.

I’m staring in the mirror and I think I broke my brain. There’s one thing having breasts and then there’s this. It totally changes my profile the way I look. It not so much scary as this stunning shock to my identity.

Hill grabs me and moves me to a chair and she starts fussing with my hair and some product and adds some make-up, a bit of foundation, eyeliner, lipstick, she passes me this long-sleeved tee and helps me into it and tells me to put on a skirt she gives me. I get into it kind of like a robot and she walks me over to the mirror.

“Oh…no…no…no, oh holy fuck.”

There’s a girl there that is me. Not just a girl but it’s still me, but me like this in a way that just…it’s me, still me but it’s me minus everything I’ve ever known to be me….They wanted me in girlyemersion? I lose it and sink to the floor bawling.

And that’s when there’s this whole change in the event and the dozen or so of the girls that are there descend on me and pull me up and hug me and pass me from one hug to another until I’m on one of the sofas and the music gets turned down and everything becomes about me…about making me feel better and part of them and wanted.

Guys rarely do this, when we…no right now it feels like them or they, when they do it it’s for those people that you’re really, really close to. We can handle the physical pain a whole lot more than we can the emotional stuff where you just can’t stand on our own. That, that helplessness even to pull ourselves out of those emotional holes is what keeps us away from them.

No brakes, no chute…and it’s scary because when we go there for whatever reason we fall and we can’t stop ourselves.

Girls, women they don’t even try to bottle things up like we do, they feel with so much heart they’re born on the roller coaster of emotions and they trust other girls to get close enough to catch them when they fall.

Just like now, they dropped everything to let me freak out and cry and hold me through the whole thing as I lose my shit. It’s fear and hormones and longing because I liked her this girl that’s me but isn’t me and then there’s the fear of the future, and school even my sexuality just everything is so completely up in the air and I couldn’t handle it alone.

They ask, of course they ask and I open up, emotionally vomit all over the place like my psyche just exploded.

Okay there’s a lot of stuff I dump out about my fears and likes and dislikes and even my chimera thing and the fact that this whole girl thing part of me could have been my twin sister it means stuff to me. It’s something I need, I need to let her live with me. Part of me thinks that it’s crazy and another part wants that connection to her because of just…I don’t know. I even ask them if they think that like this I might look like my birth mother.

It’s like three hours of just this heart and soul draining emotional pour out. I’m leaning on Deidre and Hillary or they’ve got me comfily sandwiched in between the two of them and other’s sitting on the couch’s arms or the back of it and I blow my nose finally one last time into the tissues in my hand and Hill leans over and kisses my temple.

“Better?”

“Yeah a lot better, I actually feel like I’m lighter maybe?”

“Yeah a good cry can do that.”

“I never do this I’m sorry.”

“Hey that’s you never used to do this. You’ve got a whole lot of girl in you now literally Dylan it’s part of how we cope with being girls and all the hormones and feelings and pressures and stuff. We get to do that as a release valve.”

“I know I can feel it and normally I’d have taken off and gone like rollerblading or hit the punching bag or slap pucks until I burned it off to where I could handle it but this was different.”

“Good.”

“Yeah…” I reach out to hug them and touch everyone close to me and say “I’m kind of getting this whole sisterhood thing too…”

I get hugged some more and there’s a chorus of “Goods.”

The night spins on from there and I really feel a lot more relaxed. There’s this bonding thing here now. They were here when I had my freak out and that means a lot to me as a girl, but…but…it’s the guy me that is actually more touched and effected. Like I said we don’t go to those places easily, sometimes it’s only one or two most trusted friends will get to see another guy really open up, or really special girlfriends or wives. Sometimes not even then if the previous hurts were enough for the guy to hide behind the biggest walls he can make. But all of that stuff just got bi-passed because they were here for my freak out, when I was most vulnerable right up there to everything in the hospital.

For them to have my back like this and to not make fun or look down on me and just be cool about it, better than cool about it means a lot.

It’s a huge thing.

I get up and move to one of the fluffy chairs where I can see all of them. “Hey Girls…this means a lot you know, more that a lot…I know you girls just do this stuff that it’s part of you and I’d be damned honoured if I get to have that as part of me too in time but I just wanted to really explain it…”

There’s a bunch of nods and stuff and they sit and get comfortable.

“Guys do have these feelings but we’re taught to hide them, there’s stigma and shame sometimes to them and it’s all mixed up from stuff in our past. Every guy has something or things that had happened where they are open, vulnerable for those first times and it’s like a kid learning what hot is for the first time. We get the message really quick once we’re hurt and we’re taught to not let stuff like that to get to us.

Why are we so hard to get to know, to get into? Every Guy that like that feels alone, is taught to be alone and he’s been hurt so up come the walls. Some of us build them so good we can’t get out ourselves.

The thing is it’s lonely and scary even if we’ll never admit that. There are so few people who ever get through those walls we really treasure them but we’re always testing them and pushing them away because they could hurt us all over again or worse.”

There’s a collective quiet for a few minutes and then tears and sniffles and even a few of them going. “Okay that makes sense…” and a few that are really thoughtful and Deidre looks like she’s kind of smug happy and Hill’s nodding.

I’m surrounded by these girls who did that for me. I’m still a little teary but guy teary I guess as I make my rounds hugging them and thank them and tell them how awesome they are and I’m told that no guy has ever just simply laid out why we are the way that we are before.

We still sort of keep going and it’s clothe I’m more willing to try on and I’m even schooling them in some of the stuff that I’ve found sexy about a girl. I like a dressed down girl just as much as a made up one to the nines.

Show me a girl just being herself in the sweats or the yoga pants and a simple shirt and stuff like that and it’s just as sexy to a guy because the girl is being real. “It’s really simple girls if he doesn’t thing you’re as hot and special and funny in this stuff then he isn’t really serious.”

“Why?” several of them ask.

“Maturity, walls, just raised in an unhealthy way towards women.”

“Unhealthy?”

“Yeah Y’know it happens a lot abusive homes and drunks or drugs or just something as shitty as settling just so you’re not alone. We all pick up on the stuff we were raised in. There’s w huge amount of people that really have no idea what a real loving and healthy relationship works. Unhealthy.”

“Wow, you kind know a lot about this stuff.”

“Uh-huh, guy brain and girl brain even if I didn’t know it and there’s me and Amy, and the stuff about our relationship every year and that cycle of breaking it off and getting together then dating back home and getting into all of that. I couldn’t help but to think about it a lot.”

“So what are you looking for? Like the decent guys.”

“I talked about that with Hillary once. It’s actually simple we want our best friend, that person we can do anything with, will try anything with and will tell them anything. It’s more than friends, it’s not friends with benefits…its love, there’s someone out there that you just click with and have more faith in and hopes for than anyone else.”

There’s some big sighs at that and I even join in and lean against the wall. Okay I’m just as mopey over love as any girl and you know what, under the bullshit so are most guys. I just I guess get to be extra into it.

Clothes lead to a few fun or sort of fun things. They strap me into a corset which I don’t mind to much actually, I like the look I don’t think I can pull off princess but yet the sort of goth thing…maybe. I’ve got dark, dark brown hair so a red corset top and a choker but guy it up with a suit jacket and a nice neck tie…?

That heads to working on my look. Make up and stuff, I actually look kind of either in the face a pretty girl or a way too pretty boy. Just a bit of a unisex hair style, some really light lip-gloss and some eyeliner and I sort of push the edge of that look and feel.

I’m having fun to when I start to get it.

Hair, clothes, make up, all of this is a form of language to and for women. It says what their about, how their feeling that day, showing their hopes and not just advertising those things but asking to be seem as that too.

The girl in the sexy business suit feels good and powerful dressed like that, it armors her from the daily minutia, she wants still to be seen as a woman and as someone beautiful but serious about the stuff she’s doing and respect and….

It’s like art, a woman wears and outfit for herself, then the world but all of it put together is this huge symbolic palate.

There’s a periodic table of femininity…holy shit.

The more I’m getting it the more this idea makes sense too. I can almost feel the way that the different outfits look on the different girls in different ways and just like art there’s stuff that moves them like my youngest cousins getting this whole female boost when they get to learn and get accepted into the whole make up and heels thing and that stuff for the older girls that they don’t get to do.

There’s stuff right here that just makes so much sense. Huh, maybe I’ll take like anthropology or something like that when I get to university. There’s something’s that are so coming of age here I’m seeing and really important events to a girl.

I’d have been really a poorer person if I hadn’t gotten to have this experience. I can feel the changes sort of in my head as yeah I’m kind of getting a bit more alright with this.

I get a whole bunch of. “No fairs!” when I’m better on heels than half the girls and I even take some of the younger girls aside and whisper my secret to them in their ears.

Okay…getting a being a big sisterly sort of hug really rocks. I’m watching them motoring around in their heels to the annoyance of the few older girls they’re getting a lot better at faster.

Hill comes over and passes me a hot chocolate…scalded milk, nutmeg and melted Caramilk bars in it for the chocolate.

“Okay spill how are you doing that and what did you tell them that they got that so quickly?”

I sip my hot chocolate and purr a bit at how good it is. I have the whole girly chocolate thing going on. I smile and lean against her. “I’m not telling, you’ll just have to send your girls to me when it’s time for them to walk in heels.”

“Come oooonn, I’ll keep it to myself, pinkie swear.”

“Okay…” we hold out our pinkies and I do my first ever pinkie swear. I do actually pick up this does mean something.

I lean on her and whisper into her ear. “Ice skating.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, you do hockey or figure skating you’re on two thin blades higher in the air than normal and there’s a lot of times were you have to walk in skates.”

I point to the girls. “Their just walking in skates.”

Hill looks at me and bursts out laughing and we hug. I actually hang closer with her and Deidre during the night. I mean there was tonight, and then all the stuff me and Hill have been through since all this started and me being there for her and her freak out…I think I might be closer to Hill than Jax now. And Deidre she had my back tonight and the other night sticking up for me and she’s always been a pretty good cousin but now she’s pretty damned cool too.

There a few more things like the junk foods…oh I’m getting girly with the junk just as much as them, crunchy…Potato chips and popcorn we make hot dogs in the toaster ovens and go through a bunch of those cheap mini pizzas, and the chocolate…Hillary makes these squares that are just damned evil. Mini marshmallows, and you coat them in melted chocolate and you add to it crushed peanuts and cashews then rice crispies and then cool it in the fridge like squares. I ate three really big ones. Hill says her first year roomie put chocolate covered espresso beans in hers…wow…that’ll help you study.

You know after a good freak out and crying there’s this whole thing that just really badly fits. Bawling and chocolate should not go together like smokes and booze. I’m so getting the emotional eating thing that a lot of people have. Dangerous stuff.

And then there were the movies. I didn’t care for The Notebook but I liked Dear John and I liked Ghost and Dirty Dancing even if they were old and I’m really not seeing what they saw in that Swayze guy but whatever (Shrugs.) and we even watched The Princess Bride and that Disney movie Tangled.

I showed the girls a few guy things, Guy stuff every girl should know and a guy will be holy crap about when she does know these things and can even do them. Like throwing a real punch, we use pillows…and turns out most of the girls in my family are pretty well already schooled in that, sports it does turn out they wanted to know some of the stuff about the games like basketball and football and Hockey, baseball they mostly knew. I also didn’t know that most of them were scared of sitting down with their dads and brothers and saying teach me. Between me and the jockettes in the group everyone got good crash course in the basics of the game.

I’d like to see when one of my thirteen year old cousins yell about a ref making a crappy call in front of her dad or brothers.

It was a really good night. Even the spa stuff and the face creams and stuff were pretty tolerable. We all crashed together about five AM all in the main room with the TV and stuff on air mattresses and sleeping bags and quilts and kind of all over the place and all over each other.

I did end up letting out a squeal in the morning when I got up and got dressed.

The little so-and so’s frozen my bra! You’d think you’d notice but by the time you slip your arms through the straps icy effing cold’s settled right on super sensitive boobs. It made my friggin nipples hurt.

I’m chasing them around the yard and their laughing and giggling and stuff and I notice a flicker of blue?

I go over to it and there’s that weird necklace hanging off my tent trailer door. It’s on this weird rope chain necklace like bit kind of like it’s steel or nickel or something but the pendant in this crystal twenty sided spike kind of like a long diamond but obviously not and inside the middle of it is this weird blue green pearly orb. It still looks like something kind of rave like, I mean I can sort of see the orb giving off light like this well …weird bit of stuff you’d like see in one of those oil sand paintings…it’s oddly hypnotic and the more I stare at it the more there looks like there’s light inside of it.

“I though I garbaged this thing?”

I shrug and Dad’s calling so I shove it in my pocket and jog over.

***

~Good, they have it back. It took me three days before I found it in that refuse place. But they…They are not at all what I expected? This place is weird, I need to go and really slip into regen. ~

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-12.

Chapter 12

“Ugnn! Holy cow this is heavy!” And I’m talking to myself pretty much back to work out and Mr. Seger’s place. I’ve been clearing out the big garage sheds and then helping him hauling old engines and stuff like that he had for his boat that he had kept even though he had replaced the over the years.

He’s sober bur still kind of a grumply gross knarly looking old guy. He’s definitely the definition of a curmudgeon. I think I’m getting more girl in the head because I swear when he does that snort inhale gather the loogies in the back of his throat and spits out the slimy wriggly goop with a “Git out ‘n walk.” My skin crawls.

I keep getting “Hey girl.” or “Missy.” I know it’s because I’m not really hiding my boobs because every once in awhile. I can feel him staring at me.

“What?” I ask after the seventh or eighth time.

“It’s gotta be th’ name.”

“What is?”

“Dylan, it ain’t a proper girl’s name. But yer damned strong fer a girl.”

“You know that sexist right?”

He hocks another chunk of wriggly crud, then shrugs. “Dunno but I ain’t never see a girl pull thet much weight.”

“Yeah…well… that’s why I said the thing was heavy! Are you ready yet?” Oh the fu… (Insert swear) rolls his eyes and says. “Nag, nag, nag…are you ready yet, always in a hurry on yer own time.”

I feel like I’ve got a mouthful of blood from biting my tongue. I mean its one thing to be exposed to this sexist macho bullshit. I mean hey…I was a pretty normal Guy at the start of the summer but now.

Now I don’t convincingly pass for being a guy unless you’re staring at my crotch.

But I still am a guy, sort of…truth is I’m sort of a gender mutt really but I’m guy enough I’m plenty strong and I do lots of stuff like this and physical work all the time, all my life and I… I work out but I’m getting this thin layer of the fat just under my skin everywhere that make girls soft and smooth. I’ve got lot’s of strong muscles they’re just getting hidden.

“I’m pulling that much weight because you’re moving slower than the second coming!”

It’s really starting to hurt. My hands are doing that ache from hanging on for so long. What? I’m using a winch…well isn’t there a lock? Noooooo….that’d be too easy the (Insert swear) thing is (Insert swear) broken.

My boobs hurt. I’ve got both hands in front of me gripping the chains and that means my arms are doing that clasp your hands push your girls together thing…

Uh-huh…well as its turning out that’s fine for a flirting gesture. Now do the same thing for like fifteen minutes hold like three hundred and fifty pounds of metal and having it your boobs being squished for that long.

I guess I’m getting mammogram practice in early.

And to top matters off it’s doing something to my bra that there’s this plastic bit sticking into me.

The rest of the afternoon is like that a sheer exercise in patience and humouring the old assh… (Insert swear.) We’re rebuilding the engine and getting his boat ready. Oh it’ll be nowhere near being done for any season this year. He hasn’t really touched this thing for several years and it’s in really bad shape.

I’ve been working on it for the last three days and other chores just trying to keep an even keel about my life right now. The Girlyemersion party was a bit of fun and an insight but also scared too. There’s a lot about that side of myself that really just clicks with the entire whole being female shtick.

I was thinking about getting the tattoo removed but it faded out since, I don’t get it and neither does anyone else. I mean on one hand it was this part of me that was from just before all this happened and on the other hand I’m looking more like a girl and there’s a lot of tattoos that just don’t look right on a girl and that as it was turning out was one of them.

The same as the swearing. I’m really fighting that habit, one I’m a hockey player and there’s a certain style of vocab that comes with that and two as much as I HATE this I’m from Jersey and middle classed family from a fair sized city…swearing is pretty common stuff.

So I’m cutting back on things. Again it’s partly appearances, I don’t like girls with an excessive potty mouth and that includes me. Then there’s the whole regional stereotype. I hate that Show Jersey Shore and that whole N.J. Guido mentality that’s going around.

………………………I’m tired by the time we’re done and I leave for home not biking anymore right now because it’s slowly but surely getting closer and closer to school and the end of summer break and I need to be in shape for the team. I can only imagine the holy hell that coming home’s going to be. Everyone knows, it got put out all over Facebook and the other places and I’m getting both support from some people but I’m getting lots of meanness and hate too.

I’m not hiding who I am and I’ve got a You tube channel set up with stuff from my doctors on it explaining what’s going on with me and links from my FB page to them again and back.

It’s still only going to be a stop gap. I’m expecting a lot of resistance to me going to school and mom and Dad have even been talking to our family lawyer going over policy in the district and everything just in case.

Mostly Mom. She’s gotten very defensive in that regard with me. Teens, other kids and that stuff she treats me just as stupid and guilty as the rest. We see eye to eye a bit more, I think I get her as a woman way more now and that took her out of just being mom or being the cop but something else too.

Then there’s finding out that I was adopted.

That’s up on my FB page that and finding that out and some of the hurtful comments there smart because there’s part of myself that wonders about it all. I mean I shouldn’t right? Even despite getting to see the police reports about the night that they found me and the shipwreck and the debris.

Dammit sometimes I hate being in my own head like this. I swear it’s the girl thing. I really can’t see to shut my brain off sometimes. I mean I can but it’s just that my head ever since the hormone assault began just seems more full….too full.

I’m jogging home as part of my training. Well part of the way, I’ve got my pack with me and I jog until I hit the chip-seal road and them take out my roller blades and my wrist and my ankle weights and stow my work boots in the pack. I push myself and head into town first and skate hard. There’s lot’s of resistance with the weights and the chip-seal is a lot harder to skate on than pavement. I relish the work out and dig in deep mentally to go harder and faster because I’m really expecting trouble with the team and the coaches when I get home.

At the very least I can see them making me try and prove myself all over again. I’m not just going to do that but I’m going to show them that I’ve gotten better. I make really good time getting to town and the first thing that I do is hit the garage and use the ladies room and pull off my top and get some cold water and paper towels and wet myself down to combat the “healthy glow” Hrmph yeah apparently girls don’t sweat. I get out my spare clothes and after a cool down get changed. I’ve been walked in on before but whatever bulge they see in my boxerbreifs is nulled out by the sight of my breasts. The most I get is looks.

I switch from my work clothes to basketball trunks and a red girls Nike sports top and I head to the bank first and get my check cashed for the day’s work. I take some more out but on second thought I put another twenty in my savings account. I’ve got enough on me that I should be able to get what I need.

Clothes, more specifically something that’ll look good and fit my for my date tonight.

I was talking online with Kaylee the last few nights and she said yes to us going out tonight.

Honestly this is quite a bit daunting. I’m not scared but I’m not shopping with anyone but myself. And I want to find a nice top for me that doesn’t scream girly but does show off my assets. Kaylee likes my boobs. And honestly I like that she likes them, it makes me feel good about having them in another way that just a sexual way.

I go through some of the stores downtown looking and there’s a lot of stuff that I’d wear but there’s a lot of beachwear and stuff in that theme of things.

I find myself lost and wandering a little until I sit and think while having a Mountain Dew. “There’s not much good getting a nice top without having the rest of the look.”

So instead of the top I go looking for components of a potential outfit.

Yeah, guys its how this works half the time. We have a general feeling like an unformed idea of…

Nah…

Guys like really it’s like this, you ever open the fridge because you want something and you don’t got a clue to what you want to eat it’s like that only I’m going for a look with clothes instead of a uh-yum kinda thing.

And I’m getting it there’s a message that I want to send with my outfit and there’s in that message there’s so much that I want to say really about myself and where I’m at, what I’m about and how I’m feeling.

And….shopping like a girl is expensive.

I get my things after awhile and I head home getting picked up from Hillary with her getting off work and we talk about the stuff that I bought and her ideas about that. And this goes right into this little bro-sis big sister thing as we get home, and we both get cleaned up and are talking right through each of our showers about each other’s outfits and even scents and stuff.

I refuse to wear Axe, too many guys drown themselves in that crap so I refuse to go with that I have just some decent stuff that I got as presents and I use this stuff Dad got me called wilderness that has this cologne thing to it for sure but it’s got this scent like…water? Rain? but also this hint of what I can only describe as the good part of the smell of fresh sawdust.. But I use with it my Secret brand deodorant and I use the baby powder scented stuff so the combine effect is this mascugirly scent of a girl but one that just came in from like being out in nature or something.

I actually thought a lot about this and what I should strive for as a scent for myself, we all sort of have them for ourselves. Hillary agrees that this is a good scent for me and she thinks it’s kind of hot.

I go with a real plain but nicely made/cut Jesika bra and white cotton Haines for her cotton panties because I want the cotton for comfort but the look too, I’m wearing khakis dress pants in a guy’s style that are a bit too big so I need a belt and Hillary does this really quick four point hem on the legs. I use one of my regular belts for the pants and wear with it a white thin t-shirt and that is tucked it so it shows off the shape of my body and my bra but not being able to see through it because of the whole white on white thing. I wear open instead of a jacket an open light brow dress shirt. Brown deck shoes, no socks but an ankle bracelet and a breast cancer pink rubber wrist band on the opposite wrist to my sports watch.

A little lip gloss, and just some eyeliner and wearing my hair long and loose and… “I look…boy girl femmybutch?”

Hill looks me over. “You look like Dylan but in a whole new way. You’re rocking the girly and the boy thing.”

“Yeah…I’m going to make intergendered all the rage.”

“Dylan…”

“Sorry, nervous.”

“C’mon let’s go.”

Hill drives me out to Kaylee’s cottage and I head up the driveway and there’s a bunch of people there and I get some looks. This big guy bald headed but that he was losing the hair battle so he shaved it off kind of bald. He looks at me from behind the BBQ grill.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m Dylan I’m here to pick up Kaylee.”

He’s looking me over scrutinizing me and there’s no mistaking that he knows about me, that they all know about me. I swear I can feel it and there’s a bit of that staring at the freak feeling mixed with this whole bit of undecidedness.

“C’mon up can I get you a drink?”

“Water if it’s not too much trouble.”

“No problem, heard you’re a hockey player.”

“Yessir, I’m J.V. for Patterson High.”

He passes me a water and he offers his hand. “I’m Doyle, Kaylee’s father.”

“It’s nice to meet you sir.” I take his hand and shake it firmly and not like a girl.

This woman comes out with Kaylee and she’s really staring at me. Kaylee does too but she gives me this long up and down look and she smiles at me then comes over. Her father looks at us. “You kids have a good time and Dylan…”

“Yessir?”

“Back by one, no later.”

“Yessir.”

The woman feels like she’s going to burst. And we start to leave and we can here her whispering to him. “Doyle! Are you going to let our little girl go out with that…that…I don’t know…boy with boobs, it’s not right…what if people think Kaylee’s a gay or something?”

Ouch…

I hear him say. “Dee-dee, from what I know he’s got a medical condition. He looked me in the eye and came to our door and shook my hand and called me sir. He don’t have sixteen stupid holes in his body and his hair’s all one color and his crotch ain’t to his knees. Compare to what she has and what she could be going out with I’m good with him having some extra padding.”

I’m blushing and so is Kaylee. We get to Hill’s car and I open her door for her. “Dylan oh my god I’m so sorry my mom she’s just…she’s just freaked out and stuff I’m sorry she’s usually not that much of a butthead.”

“It’s alright I’ve been expecting this to happen. Heck I’m expecting this to happen a lot actually.”

“We’re good?”

“Yeah we’re good.”

Hill takes us downtown and we hit the movie theatre to watch that Justin Timberlake movie with the really pretty brunette girl from the 70’s show in it. It was a lot better than I thought it was and I like how they’re both really kind of screwed up.

I treat and we share the popcorn and we end up kissing through the lovemaking scenes and oh I could really like this, the soft way of kissing, the sensation of her lipstick on my lip gloss is seductive in the extreme and those soft exploring touches…Kaylee’s hands touching me if even over the bra has me…

I feel that flush in them, that wave of heat and feel my areolas expand as my nipples harden. The ache but in this good way. Turned on nipple tension is actually a lot like these tiny little powerful boners complete with the breast aching like an unemptied testicle. It’s so good when she does touch those parts the sensations go right to my crotch and get me really hard.

And it’s on again and off again and it teasing or it would be teasing if I couldn’t identify it as Kaylee’s just as achy and turned on as me…and I get it, she might be just as hot and bothered as me but it’s not just about teasing, it’s not just about not looking like she’s not easy it’s kind of tantric…it’s pulling back when you get too close, it’s living on that edge and it’s building that anticipation.

Duh! How come I never clued into this before? Score another one for my girl brain stuff going on.

Our neck bout of kissing I slip a finer under her sweater and I trace her belly button over and over with it without sliding my finger into it and when we pull back I drag my fingertip down from the bottom of her navel to the waistband of her skirt. I pull my hand away before she can move it herself and I swear I can feel that tuning fork go off in her loins.

Oh…okay this can be fun…I can play this too.

And then there’s the fun of providing what looks like a same sex show to the people there in the theatre.

Some are mad, some are freaked and surprised to see it and then there’s some that are interested and likely……no…they’re very into it.

Sorry Dee-dee, I think there’s a whole mess of people who think that your daughter is a lesbian. “Kaylee, people are going to talk…your mom.”

“Dylan…I don’t care I like guys, and girls and…I’m really liking what’s in between…and I really like you…let people talk they’re going to anyway.”

“You sure?”

Her response is some really good kissing and her hand massaging my crotch we get into this feverish pitch of this for the rest of the movie and through the credits. I know it might be asking for trouble because of the last time that I was there but we walk and hold hands to Dairy queen where we can hang out a few hours and have something to munch on and listen to the tunes outside by the picnic tables and dance.

I head inside with her and I’m starving, I’m always starving lately and the smell of the fries is driving me to drool.

I step up to the counter and bump into this…guy?

Tall with long legs but in black jeans that are a little baggy with a kind of a punker double wrapped belt, they have a red t-shirt that sticks out from the big baggy black hoody that they are wearing and I’m saying they because I can’t tell…they’re drop dead gorgeous but really androgynous. An incredibly handsome soulful girl or this almost fae pretty too pretty to be a boy with the longest lashes and this jet black k-pop hair style and they look…those eyes, they are blue then green and they sort of shimmer like sunshine trapped in Caribbean waters like there’s this literal light in them dancing and hiding itself from the world.

Then in an equally androgynous voice they say. “Excuse me I didn’t mean to get into your way…” soft quiet and a shy voice with an odd accent to it, I can’t put a gender to the voice only to say soft…slightly lyrical? In pain?

“Uhm Dylan…”

“Hi…I’m Shy.”

“I can see that…”

They, he’s heading out the door with a bag of take-out. “No…Shy…its short for Cheyenne…..it was nice to meet you…” God they have the cutest ass, and there’s a sort of kind of girlish sway to them but…

I….

Uhm…

Why do I want to call out come back to them so much?

I dash to the door and they’re gone. I mean it was just a few moments and I can’t see Shy anywhere.

“Dylan? What are you looking for?” Kaylee asks giving me this strange look…I swear I can feel her confusion and some of that with the others inside.

“I was looking for Shy.”

“For who?”

“Shy.”

“Uhm I’m not following you Dylan, who’s shy?”

“No Cheyenne.”

“Okay, still in the dark.”

“The person that I just ran into.”

“Uhm when?”

“Just now.”

“Uhm Dylan we just walked inside, we haven’t run into anyone.”

“……………..”

WTF is going on.

I can tell no one has a clue of what I’m talking about. Were they like a ghost?

“Dylan? You okay?”

“Uhm Yeah, too much sun and too much crazy old man I guess, it’s probably just low blood sugar or something. Let’s get something to eat okay?”

“Sure I’m starving too.”

We step up to order and it’s not too much sun, or too low of blood sugar…I don’t know why I was the only one who saw them?

I know Shy’s real…I know they’re real because I can’t get them out of my head.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-13

Chapter 13

*Cheyenne…

I never expected to run into them…not this soon and the contact just…god I could feel their soul calling to mine…there was an instant spark between us and I’m scared. God I’m scared.

Oh yeah we have or had a creator belief too but I guess It doesn’t matter. I’ve been here on earth ever since I was a toddler.

We’ve been set adrift as a people, and when I… I was sent here when the Loci of Dylan’s spiked. I never expected to meet one…a Shuan the fourth gender.

Dylan’s just…

I feel my body so more than ready to unite with them.

I’m a Tuan…the third gender…male mostly….just enough of both that meeting Dylan has me feeling this blend of everything.

I had to use my Loci to remove myself from the people around me. Well not so much as remove myself but send off a wave of mental energy to people around me. I can’t control thoughts but the boost of power increases the thoughts they are currently having.

So basically I’m ignored.

But It didn’t work on Dylan.

And that’s why I’m hiding under one of the picnic tables.

I’m not ready to meet them…to drop this huge bomb on them and their life.

Hi! Dylan remember me? You’re not a freak of nature, you’re supposed to be this way because we’re not exactly human…not from this earth.

Oh yeah that’s a conversation I’m looking forward to having.

And how can I tell them?

Dylan doesn’t see me because a lot of people just react to social cues. Everyone’s not looking at me because the energy has them mono-focused. So no one see’s me here being a coward, scared of the one person in…a few thousand of us that are left that I could be with and maybe start a family with…

The thought is as magical and enticing as it’s terrifying me.

It hurts kind of deep as I watch Dylan leave with their girlfriend? Yes I’m getting the girlfriend vibe from her. Lesbian actually, mostly. There’s a kink there she thinks that makes Dylan seem so attractive but she cares too.

And they’re holding hands and taking cues from the people here.

Yeah, maybe charging them up wasn’t the greatest of ideas at the local hang out and make out spot.

I get up and watch them go and head back to my motel room with the take out that I just got and close and lock my door.

I pull the drapes and try to push a shield out to block the thoughts of others or at least mute them.

Oh…

I so need a bath right now. Unwind. Get my head on straight.

I get out of my clothes and can’t help but to massage my small breasts. I’m tuan they never really get big or ample, but the gesture still feels good, and there’s the aching in my sex. I ignore that one as best as I can…if I give into release it’ll just make me want and think about not being alone all the more.

I look in the mirror at why I’m dressed in a disguise. Good shoulders, small breasts that some would say are just past budding but are pretty much it, good abs…I don’t have much of the fat a normal female has that part of me is closer to male, feminine bone structure with male musculature…I’ve got great ab’s. I actually do work on those a lot…
Part of my fantasy life…

No…C’mon Shy get your head on straight.

Needless to say I look very, very much like a guy that’s trying to look like a girl or a budding MtF transgendered person until you get to my femalish hips and my vagina.

Most people would just see a freak.

I know I’m not, I’m rare even with my kind.

But people like me have gifts, mental abilities that never developed on this earth well not like ours did. But there’s signs, there’s mostly only two sexes here but home our scientists created a gene therapy that pushed the genes that cause intersexed her to develop more creating four sexes. The first two sexes are still male and female but we became more than that, very generally those who are intersexed here would have ended up home like myself or like Dylan.

Sigh…

Bath.

I’m not what you’d call femme but a long soak is still just really relaxing and I add some cedar oil and lavender into the water and ease into the water and I soak for awhile then slip into a loose set of sweats and a soft cotton tank and turn on the TV and grab my Loci and heat up my DQ take out and try to lose myself in the shows.

It’s so different here then home.

Oh…Adult Swim, I like this.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-14

Chapter 14

It’s really, weird having someone stuck in your head like that. I mean I have no idea who they are or even what they are. I mean I can’t tell if he’s a pretty guy and all of that or if she was this really boyish and handsome girl.

Either way it did start occurring to me that I was being not a fair date to Kaylee. It wasn’t like she was saying anything about me being distracted but it was sort of like a vibe coming from her that I was making her feel a bit alone, like my mind was elsewhere…which it was but I just didn’t like the feeling that I thought was going on with her.

I reach over and lace my fingers into hers and smile at her. “Hey, sorry just some random weirdness I guess, I didn’t want to wreck tonight.”

“You didn’t Dylan, hey; I’d have a lot going on too if I was going through what you’ve been.”

She gives me this cute girl dimply smile that makes her even more pretty because it does seem to reach her eyes. I like that when you’re talking to someone and you get eye contact and there’s real expression in there.

I slip up against her and y’know how a girl sort of sinks against her guy when they’re in line and going out and stuff? Well I’m doing that and so is Kaylee and the snuggly feelings really more than make up for the looks that we’re getting from the other people around because we’re so getting the lesbian couple thing with some people not digging that.

I do kind of notice though it’s mostly the girls that are showing a lot of bias and distain about it and some of the older more adult couples that are here.

As much as people are supposed to be with the times and as much as people with conditions are supposed to be more understood and stuff just like being gay or lesbian is supposed to be more understood but here in Ocean City as much as I really love this place and it’s a lot better than Patterson half the time in the summer it’s still kinda filled with Guido’s and Guidettes.

Hey no offence to anyone with Italian blood. But the Guido’s are the term for Redneck here only it’s more like those Moron’s from the show “Jersey Shore.”

And the thing is they actively try and fit that stereotype. And while being a yelling screaming drooling drunk skank or idiot is fine. And sleeping with anything that moves is cool. Apparently two girls or two people that pass for girls holding hands and leaning on each other and stealing the small occasional kiss is taboo?

I don’t get them and honestly I don’t want too. Especially the girls or the average bimbette these days. They’ll make faces and whisper about the two dykes up there at the counter having a date and be all “That makes me so sick.” And that bullshit. They’re all fakers too, fake boobs, fake noses, fake hair, fake, fake, fake…even their morals are fake. You take out a camera that might look like they might get on TV and the tops are off and they’ll sink their tongue down another girl’s throat in a hurry.

Okay I’m sounding all mad and ranty because I feel surrounded by them tonight.

Kaylee and I are just trying to have a good time and to be together and not make a scene. But apparently we are.

I swear I can feel the eyes and hear the Judgy little whispers.

You ever be somewhere and the people are so fake that you can taste it in the air?

I don’t give them the satisfaction though of Kaylee and I leaving instead we get our order and I get a bunch of food… (God I’m eating so much lately.)… and I ask the guys to triple bag it and leave with Kaylee.

I know this is a punk move and stuff but it’ll fuck with their heads. I pay but I reach into my front pocket and adjust my stuff noticeably as I pull out some money and I make sure they don’t just get aware of Mr. happy but they see me take out my cash and can see I’ve got a decent bankroll for being out on a date and stuff.

Yeah the few guys that saw are like focusing on the fact does she have what I think she has down there and well so are some of the girls but they also focused on the money I took out too like some kind of fucked up instinct or something.

But the combination of the two plus me opening the door for Kaylee and us walking away holding hands has some of those fake chicks totally baffled.

I look at Kaylee. “Boardwalk?”

“Sure and the beach.”

“Yeah a walk on the beach’d be nice.”

We walk through town to the boardwalk and that’s one of the good things about being downtown is it’s really not all that far to go anywhere. Most people live in their cars these days and drive distances that are really too short. Going from DQ to the boardwalk might be a twenty minute walk but with Kaylee here on a date it just felt like five minutes…we shared a can of Dr. Pepper on the way with just one straw too on the way which was pretty cool.

The board walk is a nice spot and a pretty nice area at night and it’s full of tourists out having fun and doing stuff and tourists are a lot more tolerant or just more self absorbed to really have a problem with two people that look like two girls holding hands and being really close like being out on a date.

It’s still really nice to hold hands with someone and check out the people and we end up sort of eating at one of the picnic tables just within the light and we people watch and eat but play this game where we make up stuff about the people that we see going by even doing this sort of ad-lib voice over thing with some of the people that has us both laughing and giggling at times.

Yeah I giggled a few times it was like we were in this weird synch or something and as really sort of messing with my already messed up gender line it stunned us enough that we burst out laughing at the whole funny girly weirdness of me giggling and we left after a bit together walking down the beach holding hand s still and I’ve got our shoes in the other hand and we’re walking with our feet in the water and stopping occasionally to pick some shells and to kiss.

Mmm kissing…

Honestly Kaylee is kissing me in this way that I’ve never really done with any of the girls that I’ve ever been with before. It’s slow and soft but it’s intense and wanting…yeah wanting and not like the ways I’m used to it’s like she’s…

You ever watch a girl sexily eat a strawberry?

Oh I am so being her strawberry right now.

And there is touching too with the kissing and her hands glide and flit over me and making parts of me feel all tingling… in a way that I’ve never felt before…raises goosebumps in a good way and makes my breasts ache and my nipples get so effing hard and when Kaylee’s hand rubs over Mr. happy it feels good and the whole experience has me so …turned on and yet.

I want sex, but I don’t want sex?

I want this to linger and keep going on and on and if we do ever get to where we make love I want it to be somewhere nice and comfortable and where we can take out time with things and just I want this but more I want this to like the tenth power and just like this slow, teasing and touching and oh so good.

I want to make love and have love made to me and it’s so strange really.

It’s my girl brain it has to be because Kaylee is hot and beautiful but she’s more than that she’s funny and she’s smart and open…she was so willing to just be there in my corner and be my friend since this stuff happened and all of that is leading my head and my heart around to not just wanting to fuck.

I want more than that.

We are both just breathing so heavy and I know I must have that overbright look to my eyes like she does because even as we slow down from this makeout session there’s this fevered good feeling of feeling everything that I’m feeling…

Why’d we stop?

I really need to get her home by the right time and we need to stop…and we do slow it down but walk hand in hand to the closest payphone and I call us a cab to drive up back to where her cottage is.

We do a lot of small touches and kissing while waiting for the cab and when he gets there I hear the song “Heaven.” By Brain Adams and I lean into the cab. “Hey will you turn that up and wait a minute for us?”

“The meter’ll be running kid; you got the cash for that?”

I reach in my pocket and pass him a twenty. “Here’s a deposit.”

“Hey, okay cool with me.” He leans forward and he turns up the speakers in the back and I step from the cab to Kaylee and kiss her and take her hands. “Hey, come on let’s have a dance before we head out.”

“Dylan…” Kaylee’s smiling and she’s got this look that a girl gives a guy that just really makes him feel like a guy. That look they have when you know you did right and they weren’t expecting what you did.

But it was good.

I take her into my arms and we just have this slow dance there on the side of the road cab on one side of us payphone on the other and the streetlamp shining down on us.

I feel like the guy that I used to feel like before all of this started happening or maybe even better. I feel like I’m still sort of Me.

But slow dancing with Kaylee with our breasts pushed together was pretty good.

Actually it was pretty great.

And maybe I can still be the kind of guy that I want to be despite all the things about myself now?

We have a long kiss before we get into the cab and I make sure to open her door for her and make sure she get’s in alright and we don’t neck and make out in back of the cab on the drive to her cottage but snuggle up and cuddle together and have those small touches and those small kisses and I get to hold her as we listen to the classic rock on the cab radio and it’s really great.

It actually get’s even better when she leans her head back and gives me this small kiss and says with this sweet smile. “I really like this Dylan. I love the feeling of how strong your arms are around me while you’re holding me and I love the feel of your breasts against my back…this is just perfect.”

“Oh…”

“Mmmnn…? Just oh?”

“….yeah.”

“Oh…”

I tickle her a little getting her to squirm and I lean over and kiss her. “Yes, Oh…it’s oh because unlike you Kaylee I’m still pretty new to the whole life with boobs thing and I’ve never had anything like that ever said about them before…so…yeah…Oh.”

The cabby looks at us through the mirror, well at me and says. “Hey, I think you’ve got great boobs.”

Huh…

What…

Blush…

And as I’m kind of having a brain-stalled moment mixed with the huge amount of embarrassment Kaylee’s laughing so hard she’s kicking her feet.

Oh yeah she’s doing that full Bwah-ha-ha-ha, maniacal laugh thing.

And I’m red faced and embarrassed still even once we get to her cottage and I pay him. He’s chuckling. “You want me to stick around?”

“No, you go ahead I’m not sure if I can survive any more remarks from the peanut gallery tonight.” He goes to make change but I wave him off. “No you go ahead and keep it.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

I leave him and open the car door for Kaylee and walk her to her patio and stop there and hold her waist and she kisses me as much as I kiss her and I think there’s the muffled sound of maybe her mom squeaking with that No dammit reaction or something. Like I’ve said before just kind of a vibe thing,

We break the kiss and silently dance sway together for a few minutes. “I had a really great time Kaylee.”

“That’s my line y’know.” She’s got the nicest smile right now.

We kiss some more before there’s a pointed cough or three more than likely from her father from the sound of it and I step back with a smile.

“I really did have a nice time Kaylee.”

“Me too Dylan.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”

She’s smiling at me and I’m doing that smiling back at her hands in my pockets walking backwards and she’s got her arms/hands behind her back walking backwards and smiling.

It lasts a few minutes before we get out of sight with each other.

I can’t keep the smile off of my face while walking how and looking up at the night sky. Out by the sea with not streetlights and it’s a clear night it’s absolutely breath taking.

I’ve never seen a sky like than before, so big and so full of light.

I’ve never felt like this before either.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-15

Chapter 15

You ever get one of those times in your life when things are just that good that you’re hugging yourself just because it feels that awesome. I honestly don’t think that I’ve ever felt like this. I feel like I want to hug things, someone, or just happy roll on my bed or something I have these warm fuzzy dancing butterflies in my stomach and I know I’m completely girling out right now but I don’t care.

I ache in this way that feels so damned good and everything from the boner that won’t really die down to my chest achy and nipples really, really wanting to be sliding against Kaylee’s or pressed to her body or under her hands….

It’s better than….

I actually can’t help but to sing as I’m walking home and other than rocking out I don’t sing.

And I swear that I never thought that I knew the words for any kind of chick song.

“Your love  
Is better than ice cream.  
Better than anything else that I've tried  
And your love  
Is better than ice cream  
Everyone here knows how to cry

And it's a long way down  
It's a long way down  
It's a long way  
Down to the place where we started from.  

Your love  
Is better than chocolate  
Better than anything else that I've tried  
And oh love is better than chocolate.  
Everyone here knows how to fight  

And it's a long way down  
It's a long way down  
It's a long way  
Down to the place where we started from.”

I kind of keep signing it over and over as I’m walking home to our beach and Hill and Jax are there with some of the other cousins and there’s a bonfire and I get a seat by Hill and lean in on her hugging her arm a bit and she looks down at me and smiles as she asks. “Good date?”

“Best Date in my life.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…” I kind of sigh and put my head on her shoulder. Jax looks over. “Good time?”

I give him a thumbs up.

“Get laid?”

Hill’s like. “Jax!”

“No actually, it was better than sex.”

She looks at me, head tilted. Jax, Jax is staring at me like I lost my marbles.

I smile but just look at the fire. “I think I get the whole anticipation of the moment thing…that on edge of all that excitement and passion and the fact that it just makes you feel…achy good but wanted great and lusted after just…awesome because it all leads to…”

“Sex?” Jax offers.

“No!” Hillary and I say together.

I look at him. “It’s more than that, it’s that in your heart promise that this is going to be making love, that when it happens you’ll feel the world differently after that.”

He’s frowning. “Dylan you’re sounding like a girl.”

“Dude there’s an awful lot of “girl” that’s really working for me right now. And yeah I’d love to hook up with Kaylee and all that sure but at the same time there’s so much more to it from where girls feel.”

“I dunno, you sound all bad girly teen romance novel crap.”

“Oh those books that sell billions of copies every year.”

“Yeah and make you feel ill reading them.”

“Dude that’s because you’re reading the words instead of feeling them.”

“I don’t get the difference.”

“Uh-huh, It’s just different Jax. It kind of feels more intense than just hooking up. It’s like when you see a hot girl and then get all that stuff you want to do in that daydream spot. Well with girls dude the fantasy isn’t the sex…it’s everything but the sex it’s all those things that couples do and she wants that person to fit…to be that one person out there that completes her….”

“Dylan dude see that’s just it you said it just now that it Ain’t about the sex. So what’s so good about that.”

I do that face palm.

“Jax…Oh Jax don’t you get it? It’s not about the sex because once a girl knows that she’s finding that person and together the sex is like a given.”

“Huh it is?”

“Yes!” Hill and I both exclaim.

“But…so when I’m with a girl and she puts out?”

Hillary looks at him. “Mostly it’s because we really like the guy, then sexual chemistry is important so…but if he’s good and the more we like him then oh yeah it’s on baby.”

“But when people get married they ay the sex stops.”

Hill nods. “I guess well sometimes real life gets in the way sometimes.”

I nod. “Hey even I know that right now we don’t have heavy jobs or bills or kids to take care of really that’s a lot of stuff. But some couples quit once they’re hooked up too some don’t because take Mom and Dad they do it all the time.”

Hillary burst out laughing. “You remember that summer Jax that the got the police bike Jax?”

He’s covering his face with his hand. “Argh…Hill I was just forgetting that.”

“Huh? What?” I ask.

Hill grins. “Mom got a police motorcycle donated to the dept from another department and she spent a summer on it and Dad was so into it the swivel to Mom’s hips had nothing to do with the bike.”

I grin back. “Okay that’s cool I think I remember a bike.”

Jax nods. “You were like three and I was still too young to run away from the scarring of my memories.” He does lower his hand and look at me. “So this Kaylee’s tweaking you OMG-Yay-Awesome girly stuff huh?”

“Yeah……” I draw it out and smile.

“So you like getting to be just my little sister now?”

“Would that be bad?”

“Nope just kinda like to know where I stand. It’d be nice to know if I said hey Dylan you wanna grab a beer down at the Foxx-Tail ( A Strip-club back home.) and not get like slapped for it.”

“I’d say sure, sounds great and you’re buying.”

Hillary slaps him. Jax flinches and play yelps “Hey! What’s that for?”

“You’d ask Dylan to a titty bar and not me?”

I slip my feet under myself to get ready and I give her a push over onto the sand. “He didn’t think you’d want to hang out at work!”

She squawks and Jax bursts out laughing. “Yeah!” She shove, climbs right over him as she chases me yelling playfully. “You assholes, gawd you guys are all the same.”…… “Dylan I’m going to get you for this!”

She chases me up and down the beach and in and out of the surf and we throw wet clumps of seaweed and jelly fish at each other and Jax gets into the fight too and it just turns into a free for all as we just kind of blow off stuff and suddenly we’re back to being a whole lot younger before all of our lives got more complicated.

Such a “Wonder Years.” Moment.

We head out for a quick night time dip and we ditch our clothes and skinny dip and while we’re not in for long because it’s so cold but it really feels like nothing I’ve ever felt swimming with my naked body gliding through the water and swimming under it’s nor just the water over my breasts but I swear it’s like the ocean sings to me, through me.

But so not enough to stay in that long. Yeah it’s still summer but it’s night time and the Atlantic is still the Atlantic and it’s still New Jersey. It’s great during the day but at night brrr and I’m so getting that girls and the hardened nipple thing only they’re chilled and achy too.

Jax doesn’t watch us or us him since that’d be…and yeah I’m good with changing with Hill because well it’s Hillary and after the whole girlification night it’s not a big deal.

We head back shivering and Jax was done way first because he was just wearing knee length cut offs and he’s holding up the beach blanket by the fire by the time Hill and I are into out things.

BTW wet bra kinda feels gross but I’m not showing through my shirt.

Jax walks over once we’re close enough and wraps me and Hill up in the fire warmed blanket. “You guys go ahead and whatever I’ll kill the fire.”

There’s a. “Naw, don’t bother.” from some of the older cousins/aunts/uncles some with dates and/or S.O.’s and some booze, blankets, a radio and more drift wood. Which is cool by us and we head off to the compound and to our trailers and hugs before we split up. It really is cool that the three of us can do this and get along like this now.

Before we found out about me being this intergendered chimera thing It’d have just been a lot shittier. I don’t mean to say that there’d be fighting and all this other stuff but at the same time Jax wouldn’t really think about hanging with me. I’d still barely know Hillary because of the older sister little brother divide. So as strange as this is and freaky and likely to earn me a lot of shit home…

It’s already worth it.

I mean Hill’s going back to college and Jax will be doing something to get himself out of the house somewhere soon since he graduates this year and while good…he’s not going to be a pro-boxer or one of those UFC fighter guys…Mom’d shoot him first. So this is really the last of our old summers and thanks to this we’re closer than ever.

I get a hot shower and bundle up and head into my trailer and climb into my bed wishing that summer wasn’t half over.

But still…

Lying there in bed snuggling into the covers I can’t help but to drift off replaying the night that Kaylee and I had. Not the off stuff but the good stuff. The dancing and the kissing and the kissing and the touching.

Her touching me, me touching her and my hands roam and wander, cup myself and feel and there’s like this dreamy sort of blue light in my head as I swear I can see her in this single bed, naked under thin sheets touching her breasts but their hers…but their mine and but her hands are hers but their mine and it feels to good to touch them and feel them and play with the areolas and the nipples getting so hard…wet…I’m leaking pre-cum and she’s just so and her fingers dip in but they’re not her fingers but my hardness inside her and my hand’s not my hand but it’s her depths and moving clenching unclenching muscles and her fingers on her girl clitty aren’t that but mine at the top of my stroke the twirl around her love button the swirl of my hand up and around my tip and I cry out. And she cries out and it’s like we roll over into the pillow to muffle our sounds at the same time.

We arch our backs pressing our breasts into the bed and mattress savoring and needing that push pressure all the more until climax washes over and through us and then rolling back onto our back moving, feeling, touching going for more because with multiple orgasms one…oh…one is just the start of the feelings boiling inside of us.

I early pass out after my third and panting, smiling, almost dazed in this happy oh my god what a fantasy thing I sort of gather into my sheets and pull on of the pillows to my chest and hug it falling into this amazing sleep. Light as a feather inside but so tired in the best of ways.

……………………………….................God waking up after that just felt amazing and I felt like I was riding this great kind of rush but not a rush, like….well like nothing I’ve felt before. I make myself blush biting my lip and smiling just remembering it and if this was like getting into the whole girl fantasy thing then Whoo hoo bring it. I’ve had a lot of dates with the “Handy sisters” before but this…wow. But my sheets and stuff need a wash and I’m done working for Mr. Seger so strip the bedding and just in my sweat pants and a t-shirt head off to get the wash on before everyone else is up.

What a great morning.

There’s just the sun’s up and there’s that feeling of the morning dew on my toes through my flip flops and I can just smell that ocean air.

I even forgo being fast and stuff and skip using the dryer and I hang it out on the clotheslines getting a first crack at them instead of the adults. There’s got to be something with that because the older set here almost always use the clotheslines over the dryers. I even did my regular wash and I’m having that almost laugh because it’s weird smile because I’m hanging my bra’s and panties and boxer briefs out to dry.

I just hung my bra’s to dry.

I dunno, where I might have been wigging before now it’s kind of funny. I slip into the house as the adults are moving around or some of them and Mom’s up making coffee and I snag a mug and smile drinking it black. “You look…(She blushes and smiles.)…bright eyed this morning.”

I look at her and Mom looks so much the way that I’m feeling. “You too…you and Dad have a good night?”

“Dylan!?”

“What? C’mon I’ve got at least half the right to know about this kind of stuff you dish with Hillary about.”

“I don’t dish with her that much?”

“Why not?”

“We don’t plus her idea of who she should date and who I think you should date are on two different scales.”

“Okay, I get that.”

“So you’re…”

“Great…fantasy night.” I blush a bit but grin at her.

“This Kaylee?”

“Yes…”

She bites her lip like she’s fighting inside over that wanting to know girl and mom thing and that not wanting to know, scared to find out how much I know thing. She digs through the fridge taking out breakfast fixings and I slip in beside her to help surprising her a lot.

We drink coffee and talk and share and give these details about stuff that are intimate stuff but not OTT grossing out stuff and soon it’s not just me and Mom but the early rising members of the female side of the family and it’s cool.

I know, teen boys shouldn’t want to do any of thing, heck most teen girls either but I’m…I’m neither and it’s like I can feel so much from them as they talk and while not too vivid it’s intense. I mean when we’re talking there’s this feeling like…it’s like they’re so impressed that this boy with boobs is getting it and at the same time the fact that I’m getting it makes them really want to get those ideas and feeling across.

And we’re sharing in these other things like these little domestic trick things with a “Here Dylan like this.” or a “Here there’s a cool trick to that.” And that stuff’s not women’s work where I’m from. In fact my Aunt Charlene, not a sister of M&D (Mom and Dad) but a cousin asked me. “I know you’ve got the boobs there Dylan but you’ve always been a boy’s boy into the sports and stuff so why are you into learning girls stuff now?”

“Hey, there’s a lot of people that don’t know this stuff. I just figure I can be like Dad actually and have a nice pot of homemade pasta sauce on simmer while I’m doing stuff in the garage or the yard. Besides if I can do that stuff it’s like super bonus stuff for a relationship. I can have my girlfriend go to work and reheat the supper I made last night and brag to the other girls that those were leftovers that I made when I made supper last night.”

That brings some laughs and we serve out the food which as I’ve told you is a jumble of stuff with this crowd.

I might have hung and dished with them but I eat like a guy and them some. I love the hash brows we make. Remember that griddle plate we have on the BBQ? Well usually the meat gets going on that first but after all the stuff from the ham and bacon and stuff is there we take last night’s left over potatoes or freshly grated ones with some grated onion and salt and pepper and a bit of water and we put it on the flat-top and you sort of stir it around all that cook area at first and the water and stuff lifts the yummy brown bits off it and into the hash and then when it’s all picked up you leave it…until it get’s right crispy.

Grand dad, Dad’s dad does it best because he adds in the meat usually left over last night’s BBQ and then he’ll make the hash before it brows into these little nests and after it’s browned a bit he’ll crack an egg in the hole. He get’s it where he can flip them and you got this…crusty yummy BBQ potato-oniony thing that’s just awesome but has a still runny inside egg over easy in the middle.

Oh…two of those with some tomato slices and a sausage and a few slices of bacon…heaven.

I might look like a girl a whole lot but I can pack it away like any teenaged guy.

Hill’s looking at me. “Gawd Dylan where are you putting it all?”

I stop and blink. “Apparently my boobs.” I look down my t-shirt while cupping myself.

Dad shot coffee out his nose. There’s a few sputtering relatives. It still got some laughs and a few. “Not fairs.” from some of my less endowed cousins.

I spend the rest of the day being lazy but not being lazy. I clean my trailer, like totally clean it and even use the power washer from the garage to get the crap out of the canvas. I even try out some of that Sunlight deep cleaning laundry soap in a bucket with water and stuff and lathered it first and let it sit. Between that and the febreeze the canvas got pretty clean that cleaning the other trailers got on the job board.

Me…I’m just doing mine. I actually bike into town while things are drying and buy some things. I have the measurements for the floor in the trailer and at twenty some years old it needs some TLC. I by a box of hardwood click flooring because it’s cool and I get the cheapest stuff on sale it all looks good enough for the trailer. Then some glue and some of the underlay stuff too along with a few cans of that canvas weather proofing and some car polish and some odds and bobs like screws and some fasteners that I need or might need and a six plug power bar and then head back. The bags I brought with me and are those cloth grocery bags it’s a bit of a trip with the bags on the handle bars and the box of flooring taped to the front of the mountain bike but it just turned out to be a good hard work out.

It was actually still early enough and I took enough town streets instead of the main streets that I don’t really see much of the assholes that might have gave me a problem.

I even push myself and took a few of the streets with hills. I am pushing myself with that stuff because I’ll need to be faster and stronger than before. There’ll be people who won’t want me on the team. I know it. Well eff them, this might be a big change but not that big a change that I’m going to quit hockey and stuff. Heck I’m actually pretty good at baseball too and soccer I might try out for those too.

I get back and go and raid the garage and stiff for tools and then I start. Some of the others just watch and some of the guy cousins are still kind of nervous about working with me but Jax comes over and we both get into it as long as I help him with his car later.

I’m not putting the weather proofing canvas spray on until sat but we strip out the floor and need some plywood for a couple of rotten spots and I’m doing that while Adam one of my youngest cousins is underneath with goggles and a wire brush scraping the crap off like dirt, rust and mildew. I pay him a twenty when I’ve checked his work and then I use some of that spray rubber to seal everything and then Tremclad over all of that.

Hill stops by to check out the progress. “Aren’t you man-upping a bit much? Dylan are you over compensating?”

I lean outside and sort of upside down from the trailer as I was gluing down the soft plastic under layer for the flooring. I smile reach for her Mountain Dew and take a drink when she passes it to me. “Fuck you, I’m nesting.” Jax chokes on his Dr. Pepper and gives me the finger too as he’s trying to clean the burn out of his nose from the fizz.

Hillary just laughs and we hug and she actually asks. “Anything I can do?”

“Make some lunch?”

“Really?”

“Actually yeah, please. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“We…..haven’t eaten.” Jax adds in. “C’mon Hill you’re a good cook and we’ll do up your jeep along with the car.”

“Okay, okay I’ll be right back with lunch, and my jeep.”

Hill’s a good cook but indifferent. She can make some really great stuff when she feels like it. And some weird stuff too.

She made hot dogs. That wasn’t the weird stuff what was weird was there were chopped beet pickles on some instead of relish and others had chopped hot peppers mixed with mustard beans. Those I liked, not really big on beets at anytime, Hill will eat meat but she really likes all her veggies too. Okay I’ll admit her thing with the cooked spinach with some butter and dill on a burger with like blue cheese is killer. She also got me in to just how good a really good veggie pizza or a white pizza can be.

I stop to eat and move myself off to the beach with my lawn chair and call Kaylee. It rings a few times. “Hello?” it’s warm and happy, like she saw it was me on her phone. It feels nice.

“Hello…so did you sleep well?”

“Oh…” Her breath caught.

“Kaylee?”

“Uhm…yes…I really, slept good…” It’s so weird but kind of cool I feel so connected to this girl that I can almost see her chewing her lower lip pacing with her phone in a bikini top and beach capris or something all cute and nervous.

“That’s good…I slept…god I never slept like that in my life once I did get asleep, it took awhile because I was thinking about our date and how it was the best date in my life.”

“Really!…uhm…yeah it was a really wonderful night I mean, I…I was thinking of you too.”

She was? Cool…what if she was…I’m making myself blush…but there’s the thinking about that too and her and it’s definitely making my nipples hard.”

“Mmm…uhm..(she coughs)…Oh…Uhm…so Dylan?”

“Yes?”

“You busy tonight?”

“Nope, you wanna go out again?”

“Uhm…Yeah…” God it was sheepish and shy and cute and trying to turn me on…I can just tell.

“So what do you want to do?”

“Just wanna walk around and play tourist? Catch some people watching or something?”

“’Kay that sounds good.”

“Six?”

“Seven’s better.”

“I’ll pick you up?”

“Okay, in a cab?”

“Yeah, I get us a cab.”

“Okay?”

“Okay…..”

“………….”

“………….”

“I…I got to go Kaylee Jax and Hill need help with their rides.”

“Okay…Laters…..”

She hangs up and I can’t help but just sit there holding my phone to myself and sort of hugging myself until my nipples get themselves under control and the same for the boner I’m sporting.

Then I get up and head off to get stuff finished. It actually looks good and clean and even the outside metal stuff is washed and car polished and then we do my sibs rides. It’s mostly interior shampooing and febreeze then we change the oil and brake and transmission fluids and with us all doing it we get things done pretty fast and a wash then a polish and some armor-all in the right places both of them look pretty good.

I have just enough time to get my wash in and make the bed and then head off to get ready for my casual date with Kaylee.

Wow…I laugh a bit as I’m shampooing my hair.

“I’m actually wondering just what to wear to a date?”

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-16

Chapter 16

I muse for awhile in the shower getting good and clean and getting a bit more familiar with myself in that suspiciously long shower way. I’m convinced even more that girls very often getting a little happy in the shower considering how long they take in there.

And it’s an odd thing to know but I’m kind of good with it especially that sort of after glow thing because really even though it’s not morning it definitely gets me in this sort of happy headspace. Especially when I’m thinking about what Kaylee and I could do in a shower.

It was good; a little bit of my imagination going a little wild but I don’t know it just wasn’t as vivid as the last fantasy. Still it was enough that once I’m done and sort of showered my way through that fuzzy happy feeling I’m chipper and wrap my chest and my hair in a towel and slip on my boxers and head to my trailer.

“Hmm, what to wear?”

Honestly I’m still a little…?....about having to ask myself that question but guys do sometimes but with me it’s become a lot more important. I’m me and that comes with a lot of girl stuff now and I’m seeing a girl and that has a whole other meaning.

It makes me wonder though. I know butch lez types kinda go for a look and stress themselves about it as much as the average guy might. But the princess types or the lipsticks if they’re seeing another Lipstick is it more stressful to find something because you’re not just dressing for a date but another girl.

That sort of applies to my situation.

And It’s strange to admit but I really want to sort of highlight my boobs tonight for Kaylee.

“Hmm….okay this is harder than I thought.”

Okay I have a few nice bra’s and I’m kind of thinking I might need some more. I get into my red lace trimmed Jessica bra and it’s not all ooh-la-la but it’s still got enough of what I need to look nice. Over it is one of my guys thin white summer muscle shirts. Under shirt, wife beater…even though I hate that term…a guys white tank shirt.

You know what I mean and does it ever hint at my bra and the straps and hides them at the same time but really shows off my cleavage. Now not to look slutty or rather to sort of cover it a bit I put on my button up front Baltimore Raven’s jersey and the look fits pretty good. I slip into a pair of my faded jeans and white sports socks and I have a pair of decent dress shoes that I wear that aren’t too dressy but are a better guys shoe that going out on a date in sneakers. I get my wallet on it’s chain but switch it around so my wallet in it my back pocket and the chain will sort of sway when I walk.

It’s kind of strange thinking of something girl like with a very guy like thing like a wallet and chain.

I check myself out in the mirror, cute, sorta butch but not I guess that’s me. I know that I am sort of coming across as pretty much a girl right now but at the same time as I feel it I sorta don’t. I feel like I’m me but the reality of me gotten a lot more female in an undeniable way. Besides part of me is doing this for Kaylee and I’m very sure that she has a thing for me and is really into my boobs.

Okay kinda sorta blushing at that.

I put on a little unisex cologne I got I’m not really into that Axe body spray stuff, there’s this underlying scent to it….kinda smells like the same stuff as Off bug repellent. Likely is just with a few scent chemicals in it to change it up enough to sell off their surplus.

I am right now just kind of in this really don’t know zone about hair and make-up with that whole what and if kind of thing. I mean I’m growing it out or I have been all summer and I’ve been sort of again just wondering about maybe something that doesn’t look ragged, maybe something unisex?

I’m not going to totally girl out I still am me and I still have the same goals that I had in life. I want to go to school not high school but university someplace. I’m not a real book smart person but when I study I do okay. I was planning on going by way of a sports scholarship but I’m not so sure just how that’ll go. I’m actually not worried about my changes and college admissions and stuff. I might have to try some other places than I’d though about but it’s the high school stuff that’ll be the real test. There’s a lot of people that don’t or won’t like me now and some of those might be faculty.

It could be anything it could be everything or nothing or a combination of things. I’m just trying to be realistic and keep things in mind. Going home’s getting closer and closer.

I get ready and get my things and call the cab to pick me up then to drive over to get Kaylee.

It’s another gauntlet to go through as I’m getting some pretty serious looks again from her family I mean they either seem a little hostile or they’d want to be but have to behave to some of them just checking me out…some of it’s curious and some is kinda…augh.

Her Mom is seriously unhappy to see me and while she’s not rude she’s pretty curt with me and It’s like I kind of can taste it in the air that she doesn’t approve and she thinks that me and Kaylee is this lesbian thing.

Might be.

I’m met by Kaylee at the door to the cottage and she looks just…peach colored long blouse that has a belt tying it off but with a matching camisole and a short and very sexy skirt that really makes her look smoking hot. She’s showing as much off as I am and I like it a lot. I like the way that she’s looking at me too.

It’s very powerful look it just has this look like she want’s to do all these things to me and I’m getting caught up with the naughty thoughts from the other night and I can feel my nipples hardening…it still such a strange thing but I like it, I like it I like the swell and start of the ache there.

And I can see it happening to Kaylee too. We stare at each other about a minute and I think it all went over her fathers head or he just never said anything and there’s a few more looks as we leave the cottage holding hands to get in the taxi.

I open the cab door for Kaylee and make sure she get’s in okay before getting in myself and I tell the driver. “Take us downtown okay?”

“Sure thing girls.”

Yeah looking this way I let it go.

“You look awesome Dylan.” She says smiling at me.

“Thanks you do too.”

“I….I’ve been thinking about you a lot today.”

“Me too.” We’re both blushing and I can just sort of tell she had dreams like I did maybe after our first date. She’s staring at me and I want to just fall into those eyes. We’re soon holding hands and smiling at each other and I want to do so much more with Kaylee and at the same time this edgy, fun, hyper, thing of not and being on the edge of doing something is so delicious.

The cab ride is really short it just seems to fly by us. I get out and I help Kaylee out of the cab and I pay for the ride and go and take her hand. It’s a nice night, not too cold and the winds just right too. I like nights like these were you can just not think but just walk and enjoy the feeling of the night air on your skin while the streetlights and the lights from the stores and the shops just seem…better? I don’t live in town when I’m here for the summers and you just don’t get the same effect in the daytime. There’s a carnival like thing that happens at night here and it transforms the place.

We talk as we walk too.

“So are you ready to go back to Patterson?” She asks.

“Not really, God I’m a completely different person than when I left.”

“It’s true you’ve changed a lot since the start of the summer.”

“A lot’s an understatement. I mean a lot would be still understated if I was a genetic female but being this? I mean it’s like their getting bigger every day.”

“A heavy breast growth spurt isn’t unheard of Dylan.”

“I know and I sort of don’t mind.”

“Well, I don’t mind. I like your breasts.”

“Yeah….I like your’s too…”

“Of course you do, you’re still a boy silly.”

“No I mean…”

I started to blush and we take a walking break to sort of let her guide me up under a tree by the sidewalk and kiss me. I like those kisses too it’s not like getting kisses by other girls I’ve been with it’s more sweet, slow and tender except there’s this hungry sexy edge there underneath it all that is accented by the way that her fingertips and nails slip over my skin and touch my sides and slip up to very smoothly and gently cup my right breast as she presses into my boner…

This is changing who I am so much really…I feel like I’m okay like this, that this mix of sweet girl, guy, and the rest that makes me up is just right.

Too bad it didn’t change the people some times. Kaylee and I get stares by some of the people as we walk and hold hands. Sometimes she’ll tighten her grip a little but at the same time she’ll just kiss me sometimes when we have a moment. We keep talking but it’s the little stuff. It’s stuff I want to know too that I never really felt mattered so much but now it’s like the difference between 2D and 3D as everything I know seems to make my heart’s picture of her more…

Yeah My hearts picture. It’s like that too. You try to remember stuff about anything and you use your feeling but mostly use your head right? Well lately I’ve kinda felt differently if I remember the way that person, place or thing made me feel then it’s like it’s so clear.

I love this weird little whatever because it’s just…me? Like the fact these little things are important now. I kinda feel like a better person for feeling this way.

I like the fact that even if she’s a girl she hates those little footy socks. Or that she loves having someone make her soup whether she’s sick or not. That she likes football more than a girl’s supposed to according to her mom and she is a sucker for stuffed rabbits more than anything else.

I like the fact that we talk about our clothes and underwear and that she wears a lot of boxer briefs for girls as much as she likes wearing nice under things. I like that we like some of the same brands. I tell her about the stuff I like, like sports and that I like some of the really stereotypical guy stuff like old rock and roll, muscle cars and I love a really good hot dog or a good burger way better than steak.

She likes music that I’ve never heard of before and they’re mostly girl bands but she says they’re really cool and downloads some of her songs from her I-pod to mine as we’re walking.

We both like fried chicken but I’m a KFC guy and she’s a Pop-Eye’s girl and we both like Long John Silvers for fish if we’re not going to a mom and pop place that does it down by the water.

It’s pretty weird for a date right, I mean we’re just talking and walking around through town just talking about each other but just random crap too and people watching but it’s one of the best dates I’ve ever been on. And as girled out as I am she doesn’t mind me opening and holding the door for her or stepping out in the crosswalk with my arm out to make sure the oncoming cars see us to stop. Yeah a guy should do that too, people don’t stop a whole lot these days. I still sort of get to be the guy and she still treats me like one too but…more? It’s like my changes only added to me with Kaylee and didn’t take anything away.

And Y’know. I kind of need to feel like that. I need to feel that this isn’t the end of the world because it’d be too easy to fall down that hole.

Another plus. When she needs me to hold her purse I just sling it over my shoulder like it’s mine. That’s so strange though only because I’m not used to having one. Still though there’s stuff like just being to walk into the ladies room without breaking our conversation. That’s kind of cool. Even seeing some of the girls we both know is cool because we end up talking all together and I get complimented on my “Look”.

Kaylee does get a little sort of more tactile then slipping her arm in mine a little more and pressing to me. And I think I was catching not just the obvious jealous vibe from her but interest? From at least two girls. It’s…a little confusing. We’re in KFC getting a bucket to go when I ask.

“K’Lee…were those two sort of flirting with me?”

“Which two?”

“Sonya from out side the cookie place and Trina on the way here.”

“Yeah, The were.” She get’s this look, cute, sort of a pouty, angry, but thinking look.

“Why? I mean they know who I am and stuff so why’d they want to flirt with me. I’ve seen both of them with guys before.”

“That’s part of why Dylan.”

“Huh?”

“They like guys but have a thing for girls hidden away there inside someplace and you’re sexually a sort of a safe bet. It’s that…see even if I’m really getting wet over how sexy she is it’s okay because she’s really a guy.”

“Really?”

She turns and looks at me. She looks upset a bit, feels it like there’s guilt and upset coming off of her in a heavy shimmer like heat off a roadway in the summer. “Dylan…I’m gay…I mean I’m a lesbian and I mean I’d have liked you as a friend before it’s just that now you’re…I’m really attracted to you.”

“All of me?”

“Yeah, all of you….but…”

“But?”

(Sniffle.) “I’ve been using you…I’m not out at home but I was going to come out this fall and…”

I reach out and wipe the tears from her eyes. “And since I’m like this I’d make a safe dry run?”

She nods.

“It’s okay K’Lee, you still like me?”

She nods.

“You still attracted to me?”

She nods.

“Then it’s okay.”

“It is?” (Sniffle.)

“Yeah, I’m a genetic chimera, intersexed or whatever…point is…I’m your first out and open girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend…?”

“I reserve the right to change my gender titles and pronouns as much as any girl gets to change her mind.”

“Oh…”

“Oh…yeah.” And I reach over and kiss her deeply there in line and press against her as hopefully as sweet and as sexy as any regular girl could and just kind of want to show everyone there that K’Lee is my girlfriend and I’m proud to be hers.

There’s this really excellent point the there’s everyone starting at us and I can tell that there’s some that want to be us.

I break the kiss and look at her. “C’mon let’s go to the little girls room and fix our make-up.”

I lead her by the hand this time and she’s sort of got that look that guys get on their faces when a girl gives them one of those brain scrambling kisses.

More and more, I’m getting to like being me.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-17

Chapter 17

I actually lead Kaylee into the ladies room and we actually use the facilities when she does this cute sniffly. “I have to pee.”

I do the same and yeah I sat and I wiped.

Okay, girly stuff aside guys should wipe. Shaking it’s fine in the woods but even shaking there’s drips and more and more to me that’s kinda eeew. Not in my clothes. Okay I know that’s the new me talking but hey. It’s not a bad habit to get into.

I come out and get washed up with Kaylee joining me and she takes out her purse and starts to try to repair the damage. I reach out and take the wipe from her. “Hey, hold still.”

I cradle her face and start using the wipe to clear off her make up trying to do this in this slow caring romantic way. I’m kind of winging the whole lesbian romantic gesture thing. I actually love this…not just like it but taking my time, being gentle and the eye contact mixed with that bit of trust.

I love this feeling…

“Dylan…”

“Yes?”

“Wow…”

“Wow?”

“Uh-huh…I…no one’s ever done something like this to…for..me.”

“Well this is all a first for me too, I’m trying to be a sweet sexy girlfriend right now.”

“You’re succeeding.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and she kisses me and kisses me and I kiss her back and we’re necking pretty hot and heavy before now and god…god, god I so get the attraction…the feeling of Kaylee’s breasts pressed into mine if just absolutely awesome. I am sooooo glad I’m like this…I mean things were great before and stuff and it’s going to be a long hard road but right now…

It’s more than worth it.

I swear every molecule of me is just alive, awake and singing. It takes the staff to knock on the bathroom door to get us to stop and I feel high…not stoned but high. Like if love, girls, making out could make your eyes glassy then I’m there I can almost feel that feeling in my eyes.

Oh they so are when I look it the mirror.

“Hey can I borrow a few things?”

“Sure?”

I take some lipstick and apply it she’s got several in there and I’ve got dark hair so I got with this red with this earthy garnet…pomegranate she has and I eyes a bit of eyeliner pencil since I can wipe off the pencil and be reasonably clean. It’s never a good idea to share make-up but since the pencil should be okay and well the lipstick…well. Then I use some water and some of her hold spray and my fingers and a comb to undo then redo my hair. I actually go for that sort of wavy tumbly thing that Fergi has usually going on from The Black Eyed Peas. It actually comes out all in all pretty well and Kaylee is staring at me.

Really staring at me.

“Ready?”

She just kind of nods at me and stares. I take her hand and lead her out and over to the counter and get our chicken.

And she’s still staring.

“Kaylee…what…?”

“You look so…beautiful…”

“What? No…it’s just a bit of make up and hair.”

“No, Dylan…oh wow…you’re just…wow…”

I laugh a bit, it’s kind of funny, kinda weird I mean I know I’ve got the girl look going on but hair and make up doesn’t make that much difference right?

But it’s kinda cool to and I think it sort of gets to me because I’ve got the food in one hand and Kaylee with the other as we move through downtown and I dunno, people are looking at us differently?

Even when I slip into the corner 7/11 and snag a bottle of pop each and we get looks and they’re not really bad ones either. It’s a nice change really and I kind of feel different. I shouldn’t but…I feel…slinky?…sexy maybe? And people are looking. Well let them, I kind of feel like tonight I’m going to be me and friggin well enjoy it. I mean I’m just going to have to get to where it doesn’t faze me anyway right?

We get a picnic table and break out the food and stuff and people watch.

I like doing that with Kaylee. I mean we call it people watching but really we’re just hanging out and eating and feeding each other and kissing.

It’s funny how many people watch us kissing. There’s a lot of guys that watch it and men so it’s kind of weird but women too. There’s a lot of women sort of put off by us but then there’s some only acting like they’re put off.

We’re there for awhile and the longer we’re just together the more intense we kind of get. I’m semi the whole time but other parts of me are screaming…touch me, kiss me hold me lick me…and Kaylee’s the same way…or worse like she can’t sit still.

I’m looking in her eyes when we’re kissing and there’s some music playing from someone’s ride all thumping and club like and it just fits…sinks in and I see her with this look in her eyes.

“You want to…”

“Go dancing.” She finishes.

“Yeah…” We both say it in stereo.

We dump our garbage and usually we’d go to DQ to the area where they’ve got music piped outside but we kind of just wander until we feel it…there’s this steady thumping in the distance and we follow it to a house that’s being rented out and there’s cars and some people outside smoking and toking up.

They’re all girls.

Oh…

Kaylee balks but I pull her over with me she’s shy and nervous but me I’m determined and we head up the porch and head inside. It’s so…we don’t get stopped but we do get looked over and some sexy, flirty but friendly smiles.

I take us inside and it’s a house party. And it’s definitely all lesbian but so not that whole Lilith Fair stuff but this is like a summer party and most of these girls are like college ages and a few our ages. It kind of makes sense really. There’s not a lot of places for lesbians to cut loose here in town.

I take Kaylee by the hand and pull her into the crowd and start dancing with her and it’s so surreal and amazing really I kind of lose myself in here with her for the first time in the whole summer and just move…I feel the pulse of the music and of the crowd and I’ve never let myself bump and grind and shimmy and shake and we dance with each other and even a few other girls.

I even get Id’d as Hill’s brother.

I wasn’t lynched. I actually get hugs and some people have heard my story and the face book stuff and everything. Okay there’s a few of them less than please with the penis but actually get kind of chill when Kaylee explains us and stuff and how we’re connected like with her coming out or trying to get the nerves to back home and I’m more than willing to be her girlfriend.

I think me retouching my make up and stuff with her at one point did something too. I dance with quite a few girls but mostly with Kaylee but there’s this edgy thing too…girly-sex-predatory feelings like there’s some that’s like to get with us and some with me and some with Kaylee.

I swear there’s two there that are flirting and touching so aggressively that they are like trying to lure Kaylee away from me.

Because I’m me and it’s be like points over the girly boy.

And there’s this grin I can’t keep off my face when Kaylee gets it and sort of does her own thanks but no thanks and moves from them to dance again with me. I can’t say they liked that a whole lot but I sure did.

I nuzzle her in a slow dance. “Thank you.”

“Mmmm…for what?”

“Not falling for their game.”

“Uh-uh, nothing doing I mean curious…sort of but they were way too pushy and My Dylan’s a lot better girlfriend than they’d be. They were just looking for a piece of tail and that’s not for me.”

“Still…thank you Kaylee. You made me feel special. It’s actually really, really nice.”

She smiles and kisses me long and sweetly and slowly and her hands roam very sexually feeling and touching and cupping me and I just go with it and let myself be all swooning against her and melty.

Oh yeah…I don’t mind this at all.

I never thought there’d be so much more to being with someone than the sex.

It gets to the point where we have to leave to get her home in time and we call a cab from there and we make out the whole way…we are giving the cab guy a hell of a show and I’m not quite sure how it ended up being me but Kaylee has my shirt moved around and she’s under my bra making my eyes flutter and me panting in between these kisses and oh…

Oh the dream, that really good ex dream was nothing like her hands on my breast and it’s like she knows with such intimate detail what my breasts ache for need and feelings I’ve never felt before, pleasures I’ve never felt before swim through my brain and make me…she takes me over the edge…

I have to break the kiss and bite into her shoulder to keep from crying out. I can feel her shiver in the same way in my arms and way too shortly after that we’re there.

I pay the cabby with shaking fingers and a shaking voice and tell him I’ll walk back. He asks me if I’m sure and calls me miss and I nod them walk Kaylee to the edge of her walkway…I’d take her to the door but I’m not really uhm presentable.

We kiss there for a good while and then the outside light is getting flickered on and off again.

“Kaylee…wow…this…this has be the best…I…I’ve never felt like this before…”

“Me…Me Neither Dylan…I…god I want you…I want to do things to you and show you things…”

I shiver just at the stuff and images that are running through my head as she strokes the side of my face staring at me…

I’m not used to someone staring at me and just drinking the sight of me in.

I’m so not used to being made to feel like I’m…Beautiful.

It feels so good but it hurts too, it stirs everything up in all these strange ways.

Makes tears nearly fall.

“I’ll see you tomorrow hopefully…I’ll text you?” She smiles at me and gives me another kiss.

“Okay…I’d like that.”

Kaylee kisses me long and deep and hard making my brain estrobubble on itself and she steps away walking backwards and…

She’s got my bra in her hands?

How’d she do that?

She holds it to her lips ad nose and smells in before shoving in away and heads into the cottage.

I hug myself and watch her go and then start the longish walk back home really needing to think.

I get in and don’t really talk to anyone that’s up and just get into the shower and get cleaned up with no self love really just a few sort of is this really me touches before barely drying off and getting a microwaved mug of chocolate milk and heading to bed.

I curl up and fall into this deep deep sleep.

***………………………....................................................I’m little…likevactuall really small and things are bright and they’re hazy and…there’s these pillars of blue soapstone and blurry browns beyond that…

There’s wind chimes and them I’m picked up?

I see her…this woman, thinner than I’d be at her age but the same dark hair, the same blue eyes and she smiles…

Oh god she smiles and I can feel it pouring into me like she’s pouring this…these feelings of hers into my soul!

~My Baby.~
~My Beautiful Baby.~
~My A’shani…~

A’shani…

My…My Name…?

???

I wake up in a rush and it’s so clear…it’s so still there but how?

How…?

Mom…

That was my mom?

I fall over on my side and curl around all the bedding and start to bawl.

She really did…she really loved me.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-18

Chapter 18

I wake up with my eyes all crusty and eew from crying and a bit of a stuffed nose and a small headache. It’s late in the morning and I get up and drag myself out of bed to the shower and it’s already into the august heat so I start with a on the cool side of lukewarm shower and try to get my head wrapped around everything.

A’shani…

I have no idea of what the heck that means but I remember it just as clear as clear gets and the way that she looked.

She…her…My birth mother.

The first thing I do after getting dressed is walk over to the house and get a coffee and sit at the kitchen counter/island and look at my mom as she’s helping one of my Aunts shop for something online.

“So I remembered what she looked like.”

“Who honey?” she says absently.

“My birth mother.”

It went so quiet that you could hear the whine of the laptop.

“You remembered her?”

“Just a bit but I was really, really little.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah Mom I’m sure…it why I need you to help me.”

“Okay…let’s get dressed and we’ll head down to the local state trooper offices.”

“Thanks…and Mom?”

“Yes Dylan?”

“You’re still my Mum no matter what.”

She does this fast walk over and she hugs me and holds me tight and I can feel her shake and I can feel how scared she still is and everything. I hug her tighter because she’s still and she always will be my mum and she’s really gotten to be so much more to me this summer with everything that’s happened so yeah I hug her a lot tighter and just…I dunno try to put the love I have for her into it and she shudders and makes her happy sob sound.

We’re all sobby in the kitchen at that point and we end up going through a whole box of tissues between all of and then we got and get dressed and we get ready. It’s really strange seeing my mom in my new eyes now. I mean since everything happened and we got closer. Like getting into the truck with her and mom even though she’s off duty she’s kinda copped out and has this different vibe to her.

It’s kind of corny but it’s also kind of cool to be able to really respect the heck out of who she is and what she does.

We get out on the highway and head over to Egg…yeah I’m not kidding there’s a town called Egg and it’s not even a small town either.

“Mom.”

“Yes honey?”

“I’ve been thinking about us.”

“Okay…and?”

“Even if this whole chimera intergendered thing never happened. If I turned out to be like you it’d still be cool.”

“Thanks Dylan…you know you’re dad’s not so bad a guy to have as a role model too you know.”

“Yeah I know…Jax, Hill, Me and you guys being married that long and him not tripping out because you’re a cop.”

“Tripping out?”

“Getting all ego-whipped because he’s the stay at home dad.”

“Oh…well we really had all of this hashed out before we had you guys.”

“Really?’

“Yeah, we wanted a family but I am not the stay at home kind of person anyway, I never was and I love all of you kids but honestly I can’t do the mommy thing like a lot of women can…I tried the first two years with Hillary and It just about drove me nuts but your dad…he hated working all of the time and he felt that he was just missing out on everything and even though we didn’t do that kind of stuff at the time…we switched gender jobs. Your dad’s a mechanic so he was doing little stuff at home on the side. And everything was good.”

“Yeah, I get that about Dad y’know. He’s like…he doesn’t care what somebody else might think about him doing that because he’s there…with us and he’s able to just face up to any of that bullshit with a smile and shrug it all off with that whole. I’m a husband and a father.”

“Yeah……..” I can’t help but stare a bit with a little bit of wonder and her that long drawn out yeah was just like I would have done last night with Kaylee…only more? It just feels like more…and it’s that she’s still in that whole soppy love with him.

“There…” I hug myself in a good way and lean into the seat.

“There what Dylan?”

“That…the way that you went all soppy just thinking about dad. I want to feel like that about someone and be all yay and melty and gooey about it and I want to be that kind of guy that makes the person that I’m in love with do that…”

She looks over at me and there’s this really big beaming smile there and this proud of me look that’s just.

Like the dream….

My birth mother looked at me that way with that same exact kind of pride and love and I can just feel that as sure as anything…

Family doesn’t have to mean blood and love is.

It really just is…

I feel different inside y’know. I know that this sounds corny and retarded but. Just knowing that I’m loved like that makes me feel so much stronger inside.

“You are a really remarkable kid you know that Dylan?”

“I’ve got the best role models a kid could have.”

“I like this y’know.”

“What?”

“The way we talk, especially when we’re driving someplace.”

“Me too and I’ve thought about this and me a lot and I wouldn’t take back any of the stuff that happen Mom. We’re so much closer and I feel that much closer to you and everyone else in the family. I mean it’s been really weird…and there’s some days just being like this that I feel like a Martian but it’s been really good y’know…like I’d never give this up good.”

“Even the body stuff?”

“Yeah even the body stuff.”

“So you’re good with growing up with boobs?”

“I love my boob’s thank you very much, and so does my girlfriend.”

“Pardon?”

“You heard me…I like myself, I like feeling sexy when I want to feel sexy…I think…I’m still kind of figuring that part of things out.”

“Uh-huh so what’s this about Kaylee and your boobs?”

“Mooooom…you’re telling me when you were dating that the guys didn’t get into your top a time or two?”

“True but it’s still the fact that you’re my youngest and you in my opinion are growing up too fast.”

“Uh-huh well tell that to my boobs they seem to have their own schedule.”

Mom laughs and so do I.

We slow down as it starts to rain out pretty hard but we’re still right off the water really so you get a lot of water sometime when it rains around here. The trick is not to drive like a tourist…they never seem to slow down and someone always ends up hydroplaning.

“So have you given any thoughts to doing the girl thing like full time?”

“Actually no… well sort of I mean like given how everything’s been going with me that stuff is like bound to be in the mix. But it’s like every time I kind of go there it just really doesn’t fit. I mean I really can’t picture myself being a girl full time like with the surgery and stuff. Some of the clothes yeah and I don’t know…you think I should choose?”

“I think that you should just be you Dylan no matter what.”

“Me too, and I know it’s going to be hard but I’m not like the only one that has things hard even in the whole sex and gender thing.”

“Like?”

“Well girls for one just plain straight girls still don’t have things exactly equal. Then there gays and lesbians and the trans folk but I’ve been reading and the Intersexed like me get the whole choose thing like the bisexual people do but at least I have like a bio-excuse in a way and then there’s people who are like pan-sexual.”

“Pan-sexual?”

“I’m still figuring out that one myself but it’s sort of like they aren’t really so much into gender roles and identities and stuff but they are into people or into a person?”

“Isn’t that bisexual?”

“No…I know that much, it’s sort of like a bisexual guy is still a guy, he dresses like a guy he identifies with guy things and guy culture but someone who’s pan it’s not even about their own gender as being the factor of who their with? I don’t know it’s still something I’m reading about.”

“I think it’s cool that you’re reading about this and that you’re learning so much about it.”

“I’m kinda in the middle of it Mom, I got to. All I know is that those people who lump other people into male and female and gay or straight and that’s all there is are way off. I’m pretty much certain that there are a lot of variations on sexuality and likely even gender when you go like really deep into people gene’s and stuff.”

“Oh kiddo you so should be going to Med-School.”

“I’ll try my best for a scholarship…hey maybe I will go for the whole first doctor in the family thing.”

She looks at me and there’s that look again.

I grin back at her. Then I see someone up ahead carrying a bike in the rain the back tire bent. Mom slows down. “Dylan roll down your window.” I roll it down and she pulls up beside them. “Hey you want a ride?”

They look over at us and I look over at them and it’s Shy.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-19

Chapter 19

*Cheyenne…

I’d sort of settled here for now in town and got myself a job at the local A&W place and I’m not that bad at the whole service industry stuff. Me and My people have been here awhile and we’ve gotten the proper I.D.’s through various means and stuff but all it just means is I won’t flag things when they go to run my social.

I’m here because I felt Dylan wake. Well one of the Elders did and I was sent for where I’m sort of matched to Dylan. I mean we’re not like bound or anything but for us while we can be with the first and second genders we breed truer when we mate and breed with each other.

Yeah we have trouble breeding from what had happened at home. Some say it’s that we’re not from here either and that makes it worse but also ninety-eight percent of those of us with the gifts are all third and fourth genders.

So Dylan’s important. But I can’t just walk up to the and explain things to them. Hi! You’re an alien from a devastated other reality of Earth! Oh and we should go out.

Yeah, okay…yeah home was devastated.

The thing was that when we had taken the route of the four we were ostracized by the nations that believed in only the two. Then there were the zealots that hated us because of religions. And our powers, they made war on us so much in the past we simply hid. We used our powers to cloak us out and eventually the world forgot about us until they had progressed into a pretty high tech society but one that was also very resource dependent.

Think of earth here without the environment movement. History was pretty normal until the turn of the century. We even had 911 happen but the war snowballed into something huge and they would have gone full on global conflict if we hadn’t revealed ourselves.

We had been desperate to save the planet. We had been desperate not to get wiped out in the crossfire.

So when we revealed our existence to the world it was okay…for a year. Then they found out about our psychic powers, and about our four genders and they took a freak out.

Every sin of mankind was suddenly getting laid at our feet and the attacks came shortly after and our land was rich, fertile well tended. And they wanted it; they wanted us dead and gone too. The terrorist were the first and then the other world governments had to “contain us” for their own good.

We took it for a few years before some of us had left and started fighting back. Some of us fled as soon as the first attacks came at our lands. And those attacks had been nuclear.

American had responded first after one of our kind killed the president and the nation took a freak out.

They launched and Cuba had fired theirs as well as North Korea thinking this was an attack on them and the whole thing became the end of the world.

I was just little then around six. So I can remember being a refugee and us fleeing over the ocean to get to South America to one of the ancient places there. The Nazca plateaux was amazing to me even then. I’m not sure what happened but the elders did something and they pulled power from the mounds and they opened a gate I guess you’d call it and one moment we were there and there was the funny colored clouds in the sky and in a world that had turned on us and that the rains had started to kill the plants and slowly everything else.

Then a fresh clear world that almost mirrored our own.

I used to be afraid of the rain when I first came here. Now I’m not scared of it. It’s not pure I’m going to say by any means but at the same time. Getting caught out in it won’t start to kill you.

Well Okay I might freeze to death.

I had been tire bumped right off the road by Nicole Miller.

She’s a girl I work with and why? She hates me because I freak her out. I was at work getting changed and the first time we’d met she saw me changing and started calling me a tranny freak.

Then she saw my vagina and she wasn’t much friendlier. She dropped the tranny bit but kept the freak.

Apparently I’m too tall, too muscular and look too much of a male to fit in her version of acceptably female.

Her phobic attraction was too powerful for me to reach out to her and glaze it over. She likes me and hates me to an almost sick level because she does and the things in her head I’m sensed the dogma and stuff makes my skin crawl. She tried to get me fired, she said I was a Dyke; she got pretty bent out of shape for having me there and has gotten more and more raging homophobe about it.

I’m bi actually, I think I’ve never been attracted to another vaginally blessed person before but loves love right? I like one’s or regular male’s just fine and I hadn’t met a four since meeting Dylan. I’m almost hypersexually attracted to Dylan though.

Thankfully my boss was easily glazed. I said I was into body building and stuff and he was good with that and he’s like a lot of bosses and is afraid to fire me for being a bigot and the lawsuits but I’ve sensed he doesn’t really have a problem with most people even gays or straights or somewhere in between.

Instead of firing her either he made us work together and Nicole hates that almost as much as she hates the fact that we had to go on a team working workshop last week and got partnered with me.

Her boyfriends won’t come after me because well I might look like the way that I look but I’m still a girl and that’s not cool.

So I was on my bike and heading off to Egg to take my lacrima there well to just the other side of the town and to recharge it on the leyline there.

The lacrima looks like a crystal ball and it stores energy for future use. I use the lacrima to charge up my crystal I wear all the time which is my loci or my psi-focus it’s like a booster. It’s almost like a Green Lantern deal.

Oh and for you not in the know a ley line is one of the mystical lines of electromagnetic force that are all over the planet these lines are formed by nature but they also pull in vast amounts of psychic energy from humanity as all most living things have feelings or experiences from simply having electricity in their brains and nervous systems.

Okay it’s way more complicated than that but it’d take too long to get into but I guess you’re getting what most of our science, art, technology even food sourcing came from.

I was biking there as a bike was all I can afford and I really try to be a non-polluter when I can help it. Nicole had seen me and she and some of her friends had been yelling things at me, beeping and honking the horn at me and being little douches.

Then she hit my back tire and bumped me.

I was off the road and in the ditch before I knew what was going on and she stopped and she watched me and yelled. “Fucking Dyke! Get a car freak.” And one of her friends yelled something like. “Buy some tit’s loser!”

They pulled off and I sat and cried. One because I had been really scared, two it hurts. I know I’m third gendered but it still really hurts that I’m not pretty.

Not like the girl that Dylan likes.

Oh, Nicole and Nikki are two different people. Just so I’m not confusing anyone.

I kept going as I was actually closer to Egg than going back to Ocean City and once I recharged there and regenerated some I’d try to get my bike fixed. I turned my ankle some and was bruised up some too and I even started crying again when it started to rain.

And even though it’s like getting into the middle of summer the rain is right off the Atlantic and its cold…coming down in sheets and smells of ocean brine.

I’m thoroughly miserable when this big SUV pulls up beside me and the window rolls down and I hear someone yelling to me about if I want a ride. I’m ff..ffreezing what do they think.

“Pu..Please.” I say turning to look at them.

OhfuckDylan…

*Dylan….

It’s Shy….

And they’ve looked like they’ve had better days.

I look at them and I can feel my eyes widen in surprise. I sort of though that they were a guy but soaked to the bone with their t-shirt and hoodie stuck to them from being drenched they have small but very there breasts.

A girl?

I get out of the truck. “Here, get in and let me take that.”

“Uhm…”

“C’mon get inside where it’s warm.”

They open the rear door and get in and they don’t get into the car like a guy, they sort of slide in. Not like a girl in a skirt or a dress but women just move differently Shy moves like Hill or Mom getting in.

Again…girl?

I’m not sure because there is something non-femme there. Like the rest of them. Her shoulders while not big aren’t that soft girl ones and their skin too. I mean shy has great skin though it’s not that soft look that girls have, it’s harder but god this is going to sound strange but like one of those supposed to be sexy anime boys.

Actually Shy is pretty in the best kind of male way that’s blended with being a girl?

Wow.

Confusing.

We’re lucky enough that we have a bike rack already mounted on the SUV for our own bikes and I set their bike there and quickly get back into the truck. I look at Shy.

“Are you okay?”

“Y...yeah I’ll live.”

“What happened?”

“I got run off the road by some idiots.”

Mom’s like. “Did you see who?”

“No…it happened too fast.”

There’s something there that just feels off and doesn’t jive but I leave it alone. I get out of my jacket and pull off my jersey. “Here put this on.”

Shy’s staring at me or rather at my chest. I’m wearing a thin tee-underneath so I’m okay but there’s this look like…Nikki looks at my boobs like that and yet there something that’s so strange about Shy…and that strange in so kind of a turn on. I can feel my nipples get as hard as achy little diamond points.

Shy looks at the shirt and at me and at Mom. There’s the sexiest blush that I’ve ever seen starting. Black hair that’s now hanging everywhere and giving them this hot wet boy-chick look and that…t-boy-intersexed-whatever is just.

Big girl like eyes but the thick boy lashes, the almost elfin face that’s sexy but not girl sexy exactly and these very kissable sexy full lips.

They pull off both of their shirts and they’re wearing this bandeaux think instead of a bra and it’s still really sexy with a bumpy cute A cup with really cute sexy nipples poking out too.

Shy’s pretty quick about getting changed and there’s that ow….moment at seeing them in my shirt.

I mean it fits because I bought it oversized and yet still allowing for my boobs so despite Shy’s size it still sort of hangs on her.

I didn’t even plan or thought about the quiet “Wow.” That escaped.

They blushed again and Mom shot me this look.

I know, I know I have a girlfriend but….damn…just…this mix of whatever is going on with her is just.

Focus Dylan.

“So where were you heading?”

“Egg, I wanted to look around and just sort of see the sights there.”

Mom looks at them in the mirror as she starts driving again. “So we haven’t met yet you’re?”

“Uhm…Cheyenne…Cheyenne Masterson.”

“Oh Dylan’s never mentioned you.”

“Mom…”

“It’s okay Dylan and I’ve only met once before anyway.”

“Oh okay…so should I call you parents?”

“No, they’re…they’re not alive anymore.”

She looks at them a sorry expression on her face. “I’m sorry to hear that so are you here with other relatives then?”

“Mom, third degree much?”

“No ma’am I’m alone.”

“Alone? How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“You’re too young to be out on your own Cheyenne, you don’t have anybody?”

“I have other family but I’m sort of out on uhm….Rhumspringha?”

“You’re Amish?” Both mom and I say it at the say time.

“No, but it’s something like that. I’m allowed to be out like this away from my family. It’s sort of expected actually.”

“Well you’re hurt we should take you to the hospital to get checked out.”

“I’m okay…just bruises and a sprain nothing serious.”

“Well it’s serious to me and I just can’t let you be out here and stuff without supervision.”

“Uhm…” Shy looks like they don’t know what to do or to say so not to offend Mom.

“Mom, it’s kind of the point for them to be out on their own?”

“Seventeen’s too young; the world is a big scary and dangerous place.”

“Ma’am…I already know exactly how scary the world can be.” There’s an edge to Shy that’s got this guy’s edge to it but like sharpened with a bitchy whetstone.

Mom stops the SUV and looks at Shy, and there’s this stare off. Shy’s shivering still and hugging herself and yet holding Mom’s stare and I swear I feel them both go someplace else…

No really…Mom sort of get’s that look that she gets when she thinks too much about some of the stuff she’s been through and seen on the job and shy has this look there too like there was something in them too that was hurt so bad by life that it died and something different grew back in it’s place.

Mom…Mom actually blinks first and she actually did, she blinks chews at her upper lip and she nods. “Okay, no hospitals but you’re going to stay with us.”

“I have a motel room.”

“We have the room and it’s for free until the end of summer when we have to go back.”

“I don’t need charity.”

“Good, do you need pride?”

They stare down again and it’s shy that backs down this time with this chewing on her thoughts. “No…too many stupid things happen because of pride.”

“Good…there’s always chores and you’d really be doing me a favor. I’m a mom and in law enforcement Cheyenne I’d likely just have been too worried about you and how you were doing to just let it go.”

Shy looks shocked for a second with that oh shit cop look. Then just nods. “Okay…but only as a favor to you ma’am. And you can call me Shy if you like, everyone else does.”

“Okay Shy, we have to stop off at the local office for the highway patrol first then we can take you to the places that you needed to go.”

“Uhm…well…i…”

“Hmm?” Mom looks back as we start driving again.

“I’m a Wiccan, I have to go and perform a rite at the nearest ley line ma’am.”

Huh? WTF? Wiccan?

“You’re a witch?”

“No, not really I guess Druid’s closer but I…I mean that how often could you tell people that…”

There’s still something off about the whole thing but then again there’s being different like me and then there’s this…I’d be nervous too.

Mom just nods. “Druids are okay folks I’ve met some before.”

Shy and I look at her. “You have?”

“I met a few of them once at one of the Ren-Fairs, decent folks. You go ahead and do whatever you have to do we’ll be cool with it.”

Shy looks at us. “I won’t offend you’re religion?”

Mom chuckles. “In this family we’ve got a bit of everything and all of it lapsed. No Shy no problem.”

“Oh…”

God that oh was cute.

We drive the rest of the way pretty quietly but for the radio not that it was a really long drive anyway. We pull into the State Troopers offices and I get out and I help Shy by opening the door. She’s got a pretty rough limp going on now. I slip my shoulder under hers and help her as we head up the stairs.

Oh…there’s this whole side boob thing going on and I’m hard as a rock down there and…

“Shy?”

“Yy..yes?”

“What are you wearing, you smell really good.”

“Uhm nothing…”

I open the doors and there’s this moment of getting lost in their eyes…they are the most intense blue kissed with silver that I’ve ever seen…looked up into. Shy’s taller that me and there’s just something.

“Dylan?”

“Uhm…yeah…?”

“You smell good too.”

Then we’re just staring at each other and the longer I stare the more of these fascinating little things there are there and I really, really want her to kiss me.

We somehow get even closer then Mom coughs.

“Dylan? Coming kiddo.”

I bite my lip and girl flutter my eyes a bit at Shy as I deposit her at a chair to sit in…and I say softly more to Shy than Mom.

“Almost.”

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-20

Chapter 20

Wow…

Okay I’m seeing Kaylee and I don’t really know Shy at all and I’m just…well you ever meet one of those people that just impacts with you. Shy is so doing that with me. I’m not even sure what it is about her other than the fact I really want to say Him when I’m thinking of them.

I think they might be Trans or something? He’s different…for one he’s a she. But…okay…tall, with long legs but not that exactly long sweeping sexy legs like a girl but more like a skinny guy might have long arms like a girl might have and slender body type but squared shoulders not rounded like a girl’s but well…their butt is so a girl butt and he’s got these small but perky breasts.

And these amazing blue green eyes and that amazing dark long hair and this really beautiful face too.

Just stunning and at the same time shivering in the back seat huddled into a blanket in a way that could only be girly but staring at me as I’m looking at then with this sweet in a shy quiet Emo-boy way.

I’m not even sure what side if me likes then because sort of all of me is kind of pulsing.

We pull into to someplace and I turn around and see the State trooper’s offices. I’m not really going to call it a building because it’s just like two floors with the cheap aluminum siding and stuff some places are better funded than others.

We get out and I look at Cheyenne. “You coming in?”

“Uhm…why are we here…it’s not about the stuff with the bike is it?”

“No I’m adopted and I sort of had this memory about my birth mother and I remember what she looked like so we’re here to do a sketch and maybe try to find dome stuff out about her.”

“Oh…okay.” There was an almost odd feeling and sound to his voice like he was sort of surprised or something.

“But we should report what had happened.”

“But I don’t know that much…”

“Shy…” I fold my arms under my breasts and stare at them. I know that they know who did that to them and why. I know that he doesn’t want to make things worse with this person too.

“Dylan I…, I’m not from around here I don’t want to make a bunch of waves.”

“Look Shy, you have to do this. If you don’t do this then it’s not going to be just you they’ll walk all over. They’ll do this to someone else, people like that enjoy the height they get from standing ontop of someone else.”

He blinks at me and bites his lip. “Okay…”

And then there is the sort of shift, Shy being that quiet and vulnerable and well shy just sort of slips or morph her into her for me again and being a girl. I swear it’s like if the way their acting or sort of feeling is more leaning towards one gender or the other I see them like that gender. I should be way more freaked out at that but I’m not.

Actually and I might sound like the freaky one or that I’m crazy but…I think that’s amazing.

And I kind of know that I’ve been doing something like that with Kaylee but stranger even. The other night with Kaylee I really, really felt like a lesbian girl rather than what and who I am. Which is in between, I’m a guy, I was raised a guy and I’m into guy things but when I’m really feeling being part female now I’m really feeling it.

Shy, makes me feel that it’s all right to feel this way, not just okay with the girl side but not the guy side but both sides.

We head inside with Mom who’s giving me this approving look and she sets me up with the county sketch artist and it’s actually pretty high tech with a brush/pen thingy and a computer tablet.

It’s all very technical and makes Photoshop look like a Nintendo game but we’re slowly getting there and I can still picture her in my mind as clear as when I first remembered her in that dream.

My Mother…

It’s almost like a photograph of her by the time we’re done and he prints out a few copies for me and mom to take out ad they start sending it out for queries to other agencies and stuff and mom even suggests Interpol where there was boat wreckage and boat licensing stuff too.

She’s looking over the picture and she’s looking at me. “You sort of look like her.”

“I know, it’s kinda strange seeing her like this.”

“You going to be okay?”

“Oh yeah sure, maybe go help Cheyenne out she looks lost as to what to do.”

Mom goes and helps Shy go over things with the officer and she’s saying she’s pretty sure it was Nicole Miller who she works with at A&W. I can’t help but roll my eyes at that. I know the name even if I can’t remember meeting her before but Nicole’s one of the townies that was all hater bitch over my Facebook page when I came out with what was happening with me.

I’ve heard a few things and she’s a effing disgrace to being a human in my book not only is she a blatant homophobe but she’s proud of it too. A genuine tea bagging little troll.

And she’s got a reputation here too. Fines and cautions and stuff but still enough that the cop’s shaking his head and my mom is frowning looking at her stuff on the computer. I’m not even sure if that’s legal but she’s doing it anyway. Word of advice you go out with a cops kid of any kind and I guarantee you they will look that person up as best as they can.

I speak from experience.

Shy’s really nervous I can tell it’s almost in every breath they’re taking. The trooper get’s evidence collecting stuff ad they go out to get the bike and bring it in. They take pictures and there is a paint transfer from the hit and they take pictures and samples of that and Shy rattles off her plate number. They’re actually sending out a car to go find her since there’s a good chance she’s here in Egg too right now. The paint transfer will be an iffy thing and it’ll have to be a two way street. If there’s none of the paint from Shy’s bike on her vehicle it’s just hearsay and won’t stand up in court.

They have to keep Shy’s bike for now as evidence and after topping off our coffee’s we head out to the truck and the rain.

Mom turns to Shy. “So where is it you need to go for this Druid thing?”

I’d forgotten all about that. Shy might have too because she’s blinking. “Uhm no, it’s okay it’s not a big deal.”

Mom’s like. “It’s important to you so we’ve no problem doing it Cheyenne. We are supposed to still have freedom of religion in this country.”

“Uhm are you sure?”

“Yep it’s written in the constitution.”

I roll my eyes. “Well doesn’t that just make it gospel.”

“Dylan…”

“Sorry…” I’m really not I’m so very much not into a religion that promotes hate. And that’s most of them and the ones that say they don’t and are still sort of the same thing…well they don’t do or day anything to stop the haters so…just about as bad in my book.

I’ve nothing so far again Zen, Buddhists, or Wiccans as they have really shown to me that they’re anywhere as bad as most of the others but I’m really not into religion okay maybe I’m not into hypocrisy.

Anyway Mom’s sort of semi religious with lapsed catholic strongly part in the family with some odd christian bits thrown in. I’m not going to get into that kind of stuff with her like politics. I’m going to be a sort of democrat I think. I’m not a fan of any of the current choices.

There’s a bit of coffee sipping quiet before Shy speaks up well quietly says. “We need to head here.” and he? shows us the location on the gps thing on his phone and mom nods. “I know that road.”

We’re still just sort of quiet with the short drive and it’s outside town sort of on this back road with lots of pines and close to some of the bigger vineyards. There’s a lot of nice wine producers around here and other stuff. Everyone nor from New Jersey see’s all the stuff on TV and think we’re this whole landscape of chemical plants. We are called the Garden State for a reason.

We stop and it’s just a clearing with an old driveway and a barn. “Here’s good.” Shy says and he…she gets out. I mean they there’s this whole guy sort of determined way of moving and body language all tied up with what I can see in the small breasts still stuck to their clothes and the really sexy butt.

Yeah…yeah…

I get out of the truck and follow Shy sort of keeping my distance not wanting to intrude but kinda curious as to the whole druid thing and the stuff they’re going to do.

It’s kind of anti-climatic at first there’s no dancing or chanting no talking but Shy just takes out these metal rods first and does this dowsing like thing and once the find “The spot.” They take out a bunch of steel discs? Okay they put them into this circle and I mean circle like just looking at it, I can tell it’s perfect.

It’s weird they just sit in the middle in the grass and take out this crystal cube thingy with rounded edges and just sits there. I can see Cheyenne’s lips moving like a prayer? No it feels like something really different than that and then there’s something? I don’t know like just something I can tell is happening like the oddest sensation. Like just knowing when something electrical is turned on even if you couldn’t see it was on. And I’m not sure if I’m seeing things but you know when you’re looking through clear water even when you can see through it you know you’re looking through something well honestly for a second it feels like the inside of the circle was like that and then it was over?

I might have been imagining things but the hairs are standing on my arms despite the rain.

I’ve no idea what I just…did I?

Shy looks at me and she shyly smiles and is putting everything away and it’s got to be maybe a religious thing or something but she looks renewed or refreshed or something there’s just something more there than the sort of scared and tired Shy that I’ve seen most of today.

“So….did I put on a good show?”

“Uhm…sort of I guess I was expecting a bit more.”

“More?”

“Mumbo-jumbo?”

Shy smiles. “Not a lot of that in my beliefs sorry just a lot of internal stuff.”

“You look like that helped.”

“It did, I feel better about things.”

“Get any answers then?”

“More like advice.”

They walk back to me and we head to the truck and Shy…opens my door. “Uhm thanks, shouldn’t I be the one doing that?”

“Feels right to me.”

“Okay…” Yeah feels right to me too.

Mom smiles and looks at us both. “You two feel like eating?”

I look at Shy and I look at Mom and we both say. “Sure, just not A&W.” in stereo.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-21

Chapter 21

Mom drives and we’re quiet at first as we drive through the rain and pass buy a few places mostly chain food places. Some’s not bad I like Dairy Queen and Burger king if for burgers because a good burger should be flame broiled. A&W is good buy shy works there and so that’s out of the question. We actually settle for Fu-lamb’s Kitchen a mom and pop Chinese place.

I like Chinese and it’s one of those foods where you have the places around but you just don’t end up eating there often.

The place isn’t big really just a few seats with it being mostly a take out and it smells really good. Cheyenne’s looking a bit nervous and she’s looking through her wallet and at the overhead menu like she’s trying to figure out what to be able to afford.

I nudge Mom who looks at me and nods. “Cheyenne put you money away I’d be shot when we got back if I went for Chinese and didn’t get stuff for everyone.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a pain.”

“Yes I’m sure and you’re staying with us remember?”

“Uhm…”

“At least until I can talk with your parents once they become available.”

“I’ll try to reach them. But they’re also traveling.”

“I know but I’ll feel a lot better about it than you being out on your own.”

“Okay…”

Shy still sounded sort of unsure about that and everything so maybe despite what he…no what she said their home life might not have been that great. I can almost sort of feel the uneasy feeling with them like some kind of breeze almost like it’s there around me but it’s elusive?

I swear these girl hormones are making me feel some pretty strange things sometimes.

We start by getting a great big order and thankfully they have those big catering tin trays and roasters for some of the stuff. I’m good as long as we have lo-mien, chow-mien, and egg rolls, a lot of people don’t like eggrolls but I do and I know that I’m not really original in the stuff I like most but I actually haven’t eaten a lot of Chinese food some but not enough to be all informed and stuff.

It’s so strange too…

After like a little bit while we’re waiting I notice Shy watching them a little off in space and moving her lips and then she goes up to the counter and she starts to talk like Chinese to them.

Like took a class for a few years Chinese.

He…she turns to me and mom. “They have some stuff on the back menu if you guys are interested?”

“Back menu?”

“The stuff they cook for other Chinese people because most westerners won’t eat it.”

Mom nods. “Sure you go ahead and order for us?”

Me I’m like. “You speak Chinese?”

“Actually it’s Cantonese but sort of?”

“Sort of?”

“It took me awhile to figure out the differences.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a big country and just like over here people don’t sound the same or use the same words so I had to figure it out.”

“Okay…but you speak Chinese.”

“My family taught us a few languages because there’s some major ones in the world.”

“Like?”

“North American, Spanish, French, Chinese, Farsi, Hindi…”

Mom nods. “Most of the major languages where there’s huge populations and are pretty wide spread.”

Shy blushes and sort of smiles. “Uhm…yeah we get taught back home pretty young and stuff so it sort of sinks in and we get a better handle on it and the more languages you know the more I guess your brain can figure things out if other languages.”

I’m staring a bit all impressed. The thing is…wow dammit smart is pretty sexy.

Mom’s shaking her head. “Y’know that makes a lot of sense but try and tell that to the schools in this country…we might get Spanish…maybe in the younger grades and maybe a few other languages in high school classes but that’s it.”

“We sort of teach in like a co-op group home school way until they thing that we’re ready to head out.”

There’s some stuff that’s just really strange like three different noodle dishes with different noodles I only think I recognize like rice noodles in one. I’ve certainly never heard of Chow fun or Jook-sing? And there’s a stir fry that’s like bamboo shoots mostly but like broccoli too? Fried soft shell crabs which is from here but in a spiced tempura batter. Lot’s of pot stickers…okay those I like but have only had once and then there’s desserts too. Like a sesame flavoured steamed custard? I’ve never had custard and does sesame even have a flavor? I mean you don’t really taste them on a hamburger right? And I’m really dubious of tofu in desserts too.

It’s a good thing that Mom got us some eggrolls to nosh on for the drive back because the smells of the food is driving us all nuts I think. The weather clears as we get home and we stop at Shy’s motel first and get her things. Wow…okay we pack kinda light to like live here for the summer but shy has one hockey gear bag and a backpack or a rucksack? That’s what mom calls it and she’s impressed by shy having one of those as she is by their book collection. I’ve heard of some of these people and it’s like all university English kind of course stuff.

I take her bags as her and mom talk Jane Austin. I’m not dumb but I’m not much of a reader either I think the last real novel or book I read that wasn’t assigned was…huh I can’t really remember it but I do read a lot of articles and stuff off my Face book I don’t even read comics that much but I’ve read all of Dad’s Heavy Metal magazines…I like the fact they’re graphic novel excerpts and short stories and I like his Epic Illustrated as well.

Jax has a huge collection of Mad Magazines too, those are pretty cool. Oh and Penthouse and Hustler and Playboys too. Although I haven’t really looked at anything like that since all this stuff started. I honestly don’t know where my head would be in like respects to porn?

But yeah…kind of a non-literary guy reader. Still a jock really. I really don’t have a thing with people that do read. I’d love to find the time and the mental energy to get really into books and stuff but I haven’t got the taste for stuff like that. I do like a girl that reads though.

There is something so sexy about just and watching a girl reading a book. She becomes real when she reads…naked in a way because when she’s really into it…she is herself and on auto-pilot when she takes a drink, moves to get more comfy or adjusts her hair.

I’m so having smart girl images of Shy reading right now.

And then this little daydream of her naked…strong body and shoulders around a cello and playing in this oh so hot way…

It’s funny since I’ve never really seen cello played before but I’m really turned on by the idea.

And there’s a second where I know I’m being watched and I turn to see and Cheyenne is watching me and she’s checking me out and …I mean she’s really checking me out like both the girl parts of me and my guy parts and its real looking and real feeling.

I’ve never really felt a connection or chemistry like this between me and someone else.

And at the same time as it’s such a really good thing there’s guilt about feeling this way about Shy when I’m seeing Kaylee.

It’s right about the time that I see Shy turn around from me and shoulder their rucksack and her and Mom get back in and ready to go…huh…I’m so sort of getting the girl vibe off of shy right now and it’s sort of that…unsettled? Upset?

But…

Why?

I can get that she might be scared or nervous by coming to live with us but that just doesn’t jive.

I’m still mulling it over as we head back to the family cottage area and we get out and start to take the Chinese food into the house so most of it can get reheated in the oven. Shy’s well being shy and I can see that I’m not the only one looking at Cheyenne and getting sort of semi-confused?

And Shy’s well she’s so giving off he right now in that quiet guy hands in their pockets hunchy defensive sort of way. But the small breasts are still visible and she still has a soft girl’s voice even if she has those velvety earthy undertones to it and…

Well I’m not the only one getting hit with Cheyenne’s wow factor…even some of my straight cousins look like they can’t get what’s going on with them and Shy but I can almost see it and feel it as they are sort of just all kind of hanging around?

I’m not sure if I’m amused by this.

………………

Nope….

I am not amused.

I have the over whelming need to want to tell them all to back the hell off. It must have bugged Shy too because one minute he…she’s there and the next minute she slipped out somehow? The odd thing is I seem to be the only one that noticed. It was kind of weird seeing how they were all so into him…her just a few minutes ago.

Dammit that’s annoying.

Why can’t I get her pronouns right? I mean I know she’s a girl but she so gives off this sort of very guy vibe.

Except when she doesn’t?

I see them outside at one of the older picnic tables down closest to the beach and I wonder about coming over to sit with them but it’s like they’re there sort of hiding out so maybe it’s better to give her some space?

I sigh and head to my camper and go and crawl up into my bunk. All this emotional stuff and living in my head is kind of tiring. I can’t sleep though because I keep turning the thoughts of me and Kaylee over in my head and Cheyenne now too.

I really like Kaylee, she’s been there for me this summer and we’ve gotten really close and really hot over each other and even if there’s so much more of her liking the girl part of me because she’s a lesbian or a sort of lesbian I didn’t/don’t mind that. Heck I even really dug the last time we were out and getting to sort of be this lesbian kind of couple.

I liked feeling pretty and attractive. It was liberating as much as it was very out of my box. Heady even. It was like being really popular, and who doesn’t like being popular?

And then there’s Shy.

Honestly I’m almost scared of the attraction that I have with her. It’s like there’s this wildfire chemistry there.

I sort of lay there and stew for awhile and then I get up a while later and head outside and go and find Jax who’s in the communal area and way in back at the sorta gym room where he’s working out on the punching bag.

I step in and hold the bag steady like I usually do and spot for him.

“Can we talk? I need some advice on women.”

“You sure you want to talk to me about this and not Hill?”

“Yeah I’m not sure Hill would have the right perspective on this. I think this is me having a guy issue.”

He stops and looks at me, wipes his face with the towel around his neck. “Okay glove up and we’ll talk.”

I smile…yeah…I kind of need this.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-22

Chapter 22

It’s something despite the breasts I’m growing or the way that I look that’s very soothing about gloving up. Wrapping my hands with the tape and getting ready that I don’t know is really so much more of a guy thing despite there being girl boxers out there.

I get them on and Jax is putting the pads on and I step up and we start warming me up and I’m hitting the pads going more for the strikes that hitting with force and power as he calls out the change ups and feet switches and stuff.

I have to make a few adjustments to the way that I do all of it now. My breasts are getting in the way sort of. It’s more that I’ve never done this since all of this has started happening so I’m really not used to trying to throw punches with c-cup boobs.

“So….”

“Yeah…I need to talk.”

“And it’s a girl thing.”

“It’s about girls.”

“Oh…so you need some advice on women?”

“Yeah…”

“Dylan you’re kinda a chick yourself what’s hard to get?”

I hit the pads a lot harder this time. “Look I might have the parts and stuff but I’m still me dammit and I’m in a spot here and I could use some advice from my brother because he’s such a man whore.”

“Hey! I’m not a man whore. I just like to date and to keep my options open.”

“Jax, your privates could wear a biohazard sign and be totally accurate.”

“Har…har..” He swings a pad at me I weave/lean back from it and use the shift in my stance to change my footing and come at him southpaw.

I beat on him and the pads slipping by his guard to land a shot to his ribs before he’s blocking again.

“No I mean it. I’m having a real issue.”

“Okay shoot.”

“Well there’s me and Kaylee. We’ve been going out and I’m really good with her and she’s awesome really and she’s funny and smart and she’s had my back this summer and I like the way that she makes me feel.”

“So…good then right?”

“Yeah really good actually except that she actually see’s me more as a lesbian date or a girlfriend than as a guy. Which isn’t bad and I kind of like….”

“Like what?” he swings a few more times with the pads trying to off balance me.

“I like the fact that I kind of feel sexy and kind of pretty when I’m with her.”

“Pretty…Sexy…Like a chick.”

“Yes and stop saying chick you’re not on the Jersey Shore.”

“Dylan if I didn’t know that you were my little brother I’d say that you were a pretty chi…you make a pretty girl and you don’t dress or act like a girl I have no ideal how’d you’d come across full on female mode.”

“Oh…”

“You still get wood?”

“Heck yeah nothing’s gone wrong there.”

“And you and Kaylee haven’t done the deed yet?”

“No, we’ve been waiting.”

“And you like Cheyenne.”

Huh…wha…how’d he…? Whummp…I get a pad upside of my head enough to stagger me really good a half dozen paces or so…Jax never pulled it and part of me is surprised that he didn’t and miffed maybe that he didn’t and now I’m actually glad he didn’t because he’s treating me as me and not the girl that I look like.

“Wow…I’m that obvious?”

“You and half the girls here. But you most of all. I’ve seen girls, women react to someone they really, really dig no matter what and you’re so fitting the profile.”

“Shit, shit…shit…”

“Deep shit because If you’re with Cheyenne around Kaylee you won’t be able to hide it.”

“Dammit what do I do?”

“Cheyenne into you?”

“Yeah I think so.”

“Don’t sugar coat it then be a man.” He pad jabs me in my right boob with an evil big brother grin.

“OW!.....Mother fucker…that hurts…”

“Then keep your mind on the fight too…otherwise when we get home some hater’s going to knock your block off.”

“Okay man up…like how.”

“Well…you want to fuck Kaylee?”

“Jax…jessus, you gotta put it that way?”

“Uh-huh Mr. potty mouth fine do you want to have sex with Kaylee.”

“Yeah…I mean It’s part of the relationship that I’d like to have happen.”

“But you too will be going home to different towns after this Summer and you really think you’re going to have a non-sexual long distance relationship with her at your ages?”

“We could.”

“Dylan you could, maybe but more than likely not with how heavy you’re into Cheyenne and who knows who you’re going to run into or have become part of your life one you get home.”

“And Kaylee?”

“She’s a teenager too and a lesbian right or like lesbian with like bi leanings, she’s likely going to find someone too.”

“So…?”

“Make your move, on Kaylee…if she’s genuinely interested then it’ll be something big for you’re relationship and if not them she’s not ready to be with you or that she’s just not into that part of you and you can break it off clean and honestly and start seeing Cheyenne.”

“And what about Shy?” we go from the pads to the heavy boxing bag and I start striking as he’s spotting.

“She’s new to being here, she’s new to your life all you can do is ask if she’ll wait for you to take care of a few personal issues.”

“So…I’m supposed to say hey can you wait to see if my current girlfriend likes me for more than my boobs before we can like start dating? I can’t do that. God that’s so messed up Jax.”

“Yeah it is but it’s trying to be polite…if polite works at all in this case. But you want my honest opinion?”

“Yeah it’s why I’m here.”

“Break it off with Kaylee.”

“But she’s been with me the whole time and in my corner.”

“Yeah and she’ll always be a good friend.”

“I’m friend zoning her?”

“Look Dylan it’s really easy, if you were head over heels for Kaylee then Shy wouldn’t even be on your radar but she obviously is. So even if Kaylee is in love with the girl you she sees she’s not whatever…enough for you to be all about her…and it’s because you have doubts or she has doubts or both of you do and you don’t have these as much with Shy.”

“So…it’s more unfair to Kaylee to keep up this lesbian relationship going when I’m into Cheyenne.”

“Exactly, and tell her that. Be honest about it.”

“Like you do?”

“Actually yes, if I’m with someone then I’m with them but if I’m being pulled away from the girl I’m with I’ll come clean about it and not try to hide it. It’s actually why I still get dates from my ex’s because even if it hurts I’m honest with them and women don’t want the bullshit.”

“That makes sense, Hill sure could’ve used a guy that didn’t play games last year.”

“Yeah and he’s going to wish he had a spare pair if I ever run into him.”

“Yeah…”

We keep at it awhile and then we even glove up or Jax does and we spar a little. He’s taking it really easy on me but I’m actually getting to be better as the rust is coming off.

“You’ve gotten better?”

“Really?”

“You go from right to left seamlessly Dylan that’s rare as hell.”

“Really maybe it’s the whole chimera thing kicking in with like puberty and I’m like ambidextrous or something?”

“Maybe but it’s a good thing to have you should get into the ring at school.”

“Uhm no way not with a C-cup.”

“Yeah I can see that being an issue with the school.”

“Heck with the school getting hit in the boobs hurts.”

He laughs and we spar a bit longer and after that we hit the weights or rather Jax is hitting the weights and I’m spotting him and since I’m there.

It feels good to do some guys things again. I mean there’s not a lot of difference really in how the two sexes do stuff but there is?

It just feels masculagizing to hit, punch, grunt and lift with another guys and not get lumped into the female slot just because I really fit into that box at first glance.

The thing is at first glance and while I’m coming to terms with my feminine side it actually feels good to like just pull in on the whole male energy thing y’know? I’m bi-gendered…if you want to call it intersexed fine but as much as there’s people that don’t gender identify I do but with both.

And that’s the thing about Shy…I know she’s a girl but she’s such a guy so much of the time too and it just feels like she’d get me, and that she’d get me in a way that I’m still trying to get to with myself.

I stop after an hour of lifting with Jax and I’m sore from it but in a good way. He’s smiling and tossing me a towel. “I keep thinking that you’re not going to be as strong as you are Dylan, if anything you’re a bit stronger I think than the last time.”

“Well, I’ve had a manual labor job most of the summer Jax. I get it though honestly I don’t lookit it either when I look in the mirror but for some reason I think the girl hormones are making my skin look more girly and covering it up.”

“I get it Dylan like what the Dr.s have said but it’s still hella weird little brother.”

“Yeah? Try living with it.”

“No thank you…I know I couldn’t handle it. I don’t know how you can.”

“You…having a big brother sometimes helps me a lot. This really helped tonight Jax, not just the advice but you help me from getting lost in myself….and I think right now if I went too far one way or the other it would likely push me over some edge or something.”

“Hey…Dylan?”

“Yeah…?”

“Adopted, boobs, weird genes….I’m always going to be your big brother regardless of what you’re being when you need me.”

“Jax…” …….

He steps over and he hugs me hard. “If you’re both you’re both kiddo…if you’re being my little brother great and the same thing if you’re being my little sister…I’m you big brother…Big brothers love unconditionally y’know.”

(Big Glompy sniffles!) “Dammit Jax you suck…”

But I’m hugging him really tightly back and it’s like someone filled me with light or something because every part of me is feeling warm and safe and loved right now.

I really, really love my family.

We left go of each other and I go to my trailer and my light’s on and my door’s open and Shy’s in there and I think I locked it…? Maybe not. She’s making two mugs of hot chocolate. “Uhm hi?”

“Hi….I’m sorry, it’s just I thought after the whole moment you were having with your brother that you’d like a hot chocolate.”

“Oh you saw that huh.”

“More like…heard it.”

“Oh…” she looks me in the eyes.

“Dylan?”

“Yeah…”

“Careful it’s hot.”

“Uhm…oh…thank you…”

Okay I so thought she was going to say something else…like something important or stunning like something big but…wow…just…girl brain drama much there Dylan.

“Dylan?”

“Yes?”

“You wanna take a walk?”

“Uhm…sure…”

Shy grabs a blanket I have on the little bench seat to take with us and sort of holds with a few fingers of one hand and using the other fingers and the mug handle to still hang onto her hot chocolate… it’s so something that I’d try to do if I wanted to have a hand free to…

Shy reaches over and takes my hand in hers and it’s deep down electric…because that’s exactly what I was feeling…and she just…

Wow…

I’ve never felt like this in my life.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-23

Chapter 23

It’s so like déjá -vu but not.

There’s this thing that just feels like nothing I’ve ever know as Shy takes my hand the same time as I reached out for her hand and there is this moment that we are so in tune with each other it takes my breath away.

It was so like I could feel her wanting the exact same thing and at the exact same time.

I touched serendipity.

I’m just trying to process All of this as we start to walk down the beach and it’s a nice night. There’s a gentle but warm saltwater scented breeze coming off of the water and we’re bare foot and there’s that thing…you know that thing that beach sand has just right underfoot and between your toes.

She’s smiling as we’re walking but looking down.

I take a sip of hot chocolate. “Shy…what are you thinking?”

About beaches?

“About beaches and sand.”

Whoa…

She turns her head to look at me still smiling and I’m just getting struck by how beautiful she is but also how she’s sort of handsome too.

“So was I.”

“I know.”

“You know.”

“Yeah, I could feel it and let you steer me.”

“Steer you?”

She’s looking at me and she’s thinking of something and I can almost feel her turning it over and over in her mind like she’s trying to see it from all the angles and it’s deep…and serious and it’s big….whatever it is it’s really big.

“Shy…Shy look it’s okay whatever it is it’s okay. Look I know that we just met but I honestly feel that we have this bond already and that we’re so close that I could tell you anything…and you could tell me anything.”

She’s looking at me and she walks us over to some driftwood and she sit’s me down with her on this large log and she sit’s there with me but straddling it more sort of face on than beside me.

But she’s looking so deeply into my eyes that I feel…I feel myself falling into hers and for awhile there’s nothing else there in the world but the eyes of my Cheyenne.

Whoa…

My Cheyenne….

It came out of nowhere and yet the entire thought of it is just true….

“Dylan…”

“Yes…?”

“I know why You’re different.”

“Okay…I’m still new to the whole chimera thing.”

“No…you’re not a chimera.”

“I’m not?”

“No…in the country where we’re from…you and me we’re special…we’re genetic extensions of the whole intersexed thing.”

“But I’m not intersexed.”

“By local medicine yes or they come up with things like you being a chimera to try to explain why your male and female sides aren’t fighting with each other but working in harmony.”

“Uhm…okay why haven’t I heard of this…what am I then?”

“Well home you are reffered to as a Shuan.”

“A Shuan…?”

“Yes and that is the way that describes a male that forms the strongest of female aspects.”

“Okay….”

“You’re not either but you are your own gender home…you’re actually part of the fourth gender.”

“Fourth gender right….”

Shy’s looking at me and she doesn’t say anything or even just stare really hard because she doesn’t have to…the more I’m thinking about it the more that it’s sinking in or there’s this flaking away of all the stuff I’ve known or assumed was true just because we thought it was true.

And my brain or my experiences are telling me uhm Dylan she’s nuts but my heart knows…it just knows with every beat of my heart that she’s telling me the truth.

I swallow and take a sip of my hot chocolate even if it’s gone cold…my mouth’s gone dry…

“And…and you’re…?”

“I’m a Tuan…a female with the strongest of male aspects.”

Oddly, crazily it really makes sense to me…Cheyenne feels so male.

“But why? Why don’t people know about this?”

“War.”

“War?”

“We lost our first home from war and when the rest of humanity had found out about us they attacked and destroyed our homeland and we were barely able to escape.”

“I guess I don’t have to ask why if people like us existed huh…?”

“That and more.”

“More?”

“It’s true with mankind and the way that they think we were considered freaks just for living but not only are the third and forth blended genders totally in synch with themselves and are really true genders but we’re also.”

“Also…”

“Psychic.”

“Psychic?”

Shy nods and she smiles a little. “I guess the best way to get all of this through to you other than what you’re feeling from me is to show you.”

“What I’m feeling from you?”

“We’re Empaths, very powerful empaths for the most part, psionic sciences are based off of feelings and control…you’re still developing your powers but you have to have noticed that since all of this started you’ve….”

“Been able to swear that I could feel what people around me are feeling…” I finish her sentence because I just knew exactly what she was going to say.

“Did I just?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t reading my mind when thoughts and feelings are so close together they connect like telepathy the psychic energy acting like water or even electricity following the path of least resistance.”

“Oh…”

Oh wow…oh shit this explains so much…all these things that I’ve been feeling.

Oh shit I’m psychic.

“Dylan…”

I blink out of the whole gap that I mentally tripped in.

“Yes?”

“Take a hold of your hot chocolate.”

I lift up my mug. “Okay.”

“Now just before you take a sip concentrate on the hot chocolate and the way the mug feels when it’s freshly made, the smells, the heat of the liquid the way that it feels when you take a sip…”

I’m kind of almost dreamily doing that like her voice is so leading…and soft but not there’s that tone of her…her tuan voice that’s just…

“Dylan…no focus on the hot chocolate not me…”

Oh…

She felt that.

I take a breath and start over and get into that sort of space in my head about all the times I’m made hot chocolate and had it…and…I feel my hands get hot, really hot then…then it’s not my hands that are hot but the mug and there’s fresh steam rising up from my hot chocolate.

I feel chilly…well except for my hands.

“Whoa….did I just? Am I a firestarter!?”

“Yes you did but no you’re not.” She’s laughing, oh shy has the most tickle my brain amazing laugh.

“But I heated up the mug?”

“You used psychic energy to transfer your own heat to the liquid.”

“I’m not that hot.”

“But the concentrated amount of your heat mass is more than enough plus the focus effect.”

“Focus effect?”

“You were focused on the hot chocolate being hot and the psi-energy reacts to that sealing the heat in like a sort of oven.”

“So I can start fires?”

“If you can focus you heat energy long enough to get past the point of combustion yes.”

“But I’m cold because my heat’s been put into the mug?”

“Exactly.”

“Shy…?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell me everything?”

“Yes, but how about baby steps first?”

“Okay…” I sip at my newly heated hot chocolate and what’s actually happening is starting to catch up to me…my hands are shaking and I’m feeling shaky and I’ve got the nagging feeling that Cheyenne was keeping me calm through this talk.

She kisses me so softly in makes me choke up because the tenderness she wanted to show…it carried through her kiss like this flavor but not…but…but…but just picture how badly you’ve ever wanted to give someone a tender kiss…and then flip that to actually feeling it.

I’m powerless to stop the big tears that form and spill down my cheeks.

Cheyenne moves enough to get the blanket and she makes us a little fire and smiles at me when she uses a lighter like it’s suddenly our private little joke now and I can’t stop that happy-sobby-laugh.

Fire going we settle in with the blanket around us both snuggling together and I need the snuggle and I need the safety that I’m feeling…the safety I get from…

Shy’s as good and strong safe in the best way…she reminds me of how safe I’ve felt in Dad’s arms.

More tears good but just shaken at how intense everything is.

“I’m here Dylan…I’ll help you ride through this…and things will be better in the morning.”

“Better…”

She snuggles so close to me.

“Yes, better…I promise.”

Those two words were so strong and so true and so…

I start bawling again into Shy’s shoulder.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-24

Chapter 24

“I’m here Dylan…I’ll help you ride through this…and things will be better in the morning.”

“Better…”

She snuggles so close to me.

“Yes, better…I promise.”

Those two words were so strong and so true and so…

I start bawling again into Shy’s shoulder.

I have never felt like this.

Sure the stuff’s still processing and I’m likely going to freak out even later but right now.

Right now I’m being held and it it’s by someone who’s just like me and I hadn’t realized just how much that me being just that different had impacted me. I mean even the chimera thing’s pretty rare and it’s not like I could just talk to someone about it. But Cheyenne…

She’s like the just so right missing x-factor to the WTF that’s been my life.

And she’s so strong too. Physically and emotionally she’s just…

Yeah words are failing me right now a whole lot really and it doesn’t take long before Shy’s empathic wrap me up in safety and security and genuine care for me and the way that I feel lulls me to sleep.

And just because I’m me of course when she gives me this nudge to wake me I have that dry mouth and throat from snoring and there’s wet and sticky on the side of my face that was leaning against her. I wipe off my mouth and blush looking at her in this pre-dawn light. “Great, here I am in this really romantic embrace and what do I do? I snore and I drool on you.”

Shy smiles at me and gives me this really sweet tender kiss. Oh I know it’s got some of our in it I can just tell but oh…

Oh…

To get kissed by someone tenderly and sweetly and to Feel the sweet and tender emotions. She want’s me to feel it but she wants me to feel it from her actions and not her powers and this so heart thumpingly sweet gesture of realness takes me to this place or opens up something in me that I’ve never really felt.

I couldn’t feel more sweet or mushy or bubbly inside if I’d been transformed into bubble gum.

Shy breaks the kiss and she nuzzles my face and smiles at me and ow…ow…it’s this just for me smile….literally.

“You can snore all you want and it won’t bother me if mine doesn’t bother you. And it all doesn’t matter Dylan, it’s you and if you honestly felt that secure that all of that happened with me then there’s really not much of a bigger compliment really.”

“You…you mister-girl are way too good to me.” I smile as we’re nuzzling. I love this closeness…and the thing is that the sex stuff isn’t even on my emotional radar right now…I’m just getting everything that I need form us being us…being together.

Cheyenne turns me around in her arms and she wraps us up tighter and hugs me. I can feel something…well besides her small perky little breasts in my back there’s something coming?

“Just a few more minutes, just relax and breathe and listen Dylan…listen with your heart.”

“Okay but what for…”

Oh…

The sun crests the edge of the horizon.

Oh…

Nothing, no sunrise that I’d experienced before has ever felt like this…

Why?

Because as the light starts to spill out over everything I feel it.

I feel the world waking up, I feel the way that the sun is touching everything and waking up the plants and the insects and the birds and everything literally under the sun that…

I feel life stirring all around me with the rising of the sun.

I’m bawling I’m crying so hard that I can’t see but I can see everything because I can feel everything and it’s so amazing.

Oh…it’s like touching God for a second or him just showing me this tiny little glimpse of the everything and…it’s becoming part of me…touching my deepest heart and soul.

And if it was like seeing that whole God experience feeling it shift and change and become this rhythm…as life starts into what life just does it’s also too like I’m getting to here Mother nature herself singing.

I feel Shy hugging me tighter. “I told you it’d all be better in the morning.”

I push back against her. “Yeah…there’s…I don’t even know how to put how this feels into words.”

“You can’t, no one can Dylan it’s why we’re the way that we are…with us some things are perfectly alright to be as they are.”

“It….it certainly changes everything…”

“It does, it sort of grounds you.”

“Grounded? Sort of it’s more like I’m just seeing life for what life can be for the first time.”

“No, this is just remembering.”

“Remembering?”

“All of us, our people, everyone here, even all of the animal life there is feels this way when they are newborns and the world is so new to us and so big and bright and alive that we can’t drown it out with the background noise of living.”

I bite my lips just taking that in and it makes so much sense to me really…and while those feelings of the dawn are still there they sort of feel like they’re doing the background noise thing…like listening to the radio and hearing a really great song and then having to do something that has that still there but you’re not focused on it.

“I’ve got a lot to learn…”

“Yeah, control and nuance is the stuff that you need to know and ethics.”

“Ethics?”

“Heck yeah there’s limits that we should all have when we’re around others. We can push emotions as well as feel them and that’s a dangerous thing it’s a weapon really.”

“Like the hot chocolate?”

“That and a whole lot more. You really mess with someone’s identity when you push emotions on them.”

“Oh…the whole dark side of the force thing.”

“Honestly yes really, really close to that idea.”

“Oh then I’m so Jedi instead of being Sith.”

“Good.” She smiles and kisses me again. And very guy like I feel and hear her stomach rumble.

“Breakfast?”

“I’d love some.” She get’s up and offers me her hands and she pulls me up. It’s such a role reversal but it’s not. I’m sort of the girl by my very nature but not. Actually it’s kind of neat in getting treated with the manners and stuff that a girl would get but being able to appreciate the chivalric nature of it from the male psyche too.

We hold hands as we walk and she’s smiling. “Dylan?”

“Yeah?”

“Concentrate on holding my hand.”

“Okay…”

“Feel it?”

“Uhm yeah…oh…okay…” I close my eyes and just sort of focus in on that and take it all in.

“Okay, let go.”

“Uhm okay…”

Cheyenne moves a few feet away and she slides her hands casually into her pockets and she smiles…

I feel something…?

“What…?”

“Just concentrate on remembering what it just felt like.”

It takes a minute and it’s linked to that thing I was feeling and…and I’m suddenly feeling it…this invisible trail of our energies linked together and it’s the same feelings that I had when we were holding hands…

We’re holding hands from six feet away.

“Oh…oh this is so cool.”

“Very…it’s called synchronicity its safe projection and receiving.”

“Oh…”

“Now I need to show you how to shield yourself from others and them from you.”

“Them from me?”

“Yes, if you’re open and receiving then you’ll get a lot of nasty surprises from people with abuse or trauma or even those people that aren’t the kind of people that you want to see into.”

“Like?”

“Serial Killers…rapists…child molesters…do you really want to feel that stuff on you…those feelings inside of you?”

“No…eeew fuck! Hell no!”

“Okay so I’m going to try and to teach you how to…”

I smile at her.

“You just shielded…how?”

“Shower.”

“Shower?”

“Yeah, okay we all have this sort of sense of privacy right?”

She nods.

“Okay, well it’s like the shower, we all try to respect other’s people’s privacy in the shower and stuff so I just sort of ran with that because I’m sure that there’s lots of stuff beyond the bad stuff that I don’t want to feel from some people just like I’m sure that there’s people that I don’t want to see in the shower.”

Cheyenne burst out laughing. “Oh my gosh that’s so brilliant! I mean I’ve heard that Shuani had a lot more ethereal control but I’ve never seen it.”

“Ethereal control?”

“Oh that’s the whole more mental and spiritual side of what we can do.”

“And Tuani?”

“Yes the ‘I’ make it plural for us. Tuani like me we tend towards the more physical side of stuff.”

“So there’s things that we can do that the other can’t?”

“No we all can do the same things it’s more like these things are easier for us in certain ways because of how our brains are developed.”

“Cool so what do Shuani do or are good at?”

“The Ethereal stuff like I said but that extends to stuff like healing and arts and caring and nurturing.”

“Okay…healing?”

Cheyenne shrugged. “Healing like almost magical stuff but it’s one of the greatest strengths a Shuan can master and it’s extremely hard too. It’s one of those things you really don’t and shouldn’t just try to do and seriously need a master to teach.”

“I can get that, you muff it up and it really wouldn’t be good.”

“Yes for sure.”

“And you tend to the physical stuff right?”

“Right Tuani tend to feel things out in more of how things work and what they are?”

“Like?”

“Like in theory we can read an object someone handled and see their use of it and stuff better than reading people. Or we can put our feelings into an object better than we can project into a person.”

“Really you didn’t seem that bad at it.”

“Well you weren’t aware and you weren’t shielded either so that was pretty easy.”

“This is going to still take a lot to get used to you know being an alien and all.”

“Well sort of alien, biologically we’re human.”

“Huh?”

“We’re from an alternate reality, another dimension.”

“And we came here…”

“Yes, we came here from a union point.”

“Huh?”

“You know what string theory is?”

“I think I know what it is?”

“Okay it’s that theory that for every reaction or action there is a timeline that is spawned because of that action.”

“That sounds like my idea of it.”

“Star Trek?”

“Yep pretty much, that and Stargate.”

She smiled. “I like both of those shows and most are still new to me.”

“Okay but Union points?”

“A Union point is an event that’s so huge that in has happened across a lot of timelines and as all those lines meet at that point it created a new point of origin.”

“Okay I think I get it. And our union point was?”

“According to the records we have home it was the destruction of our homeland, it has happened in every earth apparently.”

“Oh…that so sucks, but how did we bridge the whole thing to get here?”

“I have no idea, the people that opened the gateway for the rest of us all died in doing it.”

“Shit…”

She nods. “It was likely the energy strain from it all that did it. You know how you felt after the hot chocolate right.”

I nod. “Wow…so much to learn. Am I going to go home with you at some point?”

“Maybe there’s no real rush on that.”

I might be shielding but there was something to that.

“Shy….?”

She blushes. “Okay…okay aside from you needing to learn…you’re a Shuan.”

“So…?”

“So I traveled out from home when I felt you.”

“And…”

She just looks at me with that patented female don’t be a thickhead look.

“Oh…so there’s just me?”

“No, we don’t all live in one place. But home, home there’s only three Shuani and they’re all taken.”

“Okay…and that I’m rare then.”

“You’re rare and you’re sought after…all the other Tuani would want to be with you and so would all the women.”

“Really?”

“Yes…and that’s even before they actually got to know you ant see how amazing you really are.”

“Really?”

She looks at me again.

“Okay picture you meeting Angelina Jolie right and not only is she moving next door to you but she’s nice and smart and friendly and someone that you could actually like way deeper than you could lust after.”

“Okay….”

“That’s you.”

“Me?”

“Yes you…”

“Oh…” Okay I’m seriously blushing right now and even covering my face with my hand a bit.

“And I’m so not ready to share you with the rest of the world Dylan.”

Shield or no shield Cheyenne just knows the right time to step up to this boy and passionately kiss him until he’s swooning in the whole depths of feeling like a girl.

And I was shielded.

So she’s kissing me just because she wants to.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-25

Chapter 25

I wipe some of the sweat away from my forehead and take a drink from my water bottle. “Wow…my back…” I look over to Shy who’s way ahead of all of us in their row. Jax is pulling grassy bits out of his rake.

“Y’know for someone that’s never raked a blueberry in her life she’s likely the best raker I’ve seen since dad.”

That’s likely because Shy’s mimicking him.

“Yeah, she’s….”

“Into you which sucks for me.”

“Jax!”

“What? Cheyenne’s likely the easiest damned girl that I’ve ever talked to. Well besides you Dylan.”

“Thanks but I’m so not interested Jax unless you want to bend over.”

“Ugh…dude no way, exit only.”

We both laugh and I’m rubbing my back. Blueberry raking is hard on the back bent over most of the time and then you add my breasts into the equation and I’m not used to that at all.

I feel fingers trace over my skin and I look to see Kaylee smiling at me, her hand under my t-shirt. “Here, lets grab some lunch and I’ll rub your back and maybe get you to take that shirt off.”

“I’m really not sure that I want a bikini top tan line Kaylee.”

“Why not they’re kinda hot, and you can always spray tan to fix that up.”

Un-huh…Kaylee and me.

Well it’s only been a few days since the big revelation of who and what I am so I haven’t really had the chance to really sit down and look at the relationship.

I really like her.

And I really, really like Cheyenne.

Too bad I couldn’t…

I feel some thing and look over to Cheyenne and she’s smiling. And she has this kind of playful look. I flick her an empathic razzberry and look at Kaylee who’s doing the whole bikini top thing with a pair of old shorts and work boots. Yeah work boots we’re raking blueberries and it’s kind of a brambly mess sneakers don’t really cut it unless you don’t mind getting all scratched up and stuff.

She still looks just good, amazing really. And that’s still my problem right now. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around stuff and I really was meaning to talk to her but when I saw her….then felt her…or rather the stuff she was feeling towards me.

It’s really hard to want to put a block up with the person is looking at you and they like you…actually like you as a person in this really warm and fluffy feeling mixed with that so buzzy excitement that you get from someone being attracted to you.

Feeling the way Kaylee actually feels about me just makes it really hard to even think about walking away from the relationship.

Add in the way she looks and the fact like right now she’s ahead of me bent over and…yes I can feel she knows what she’s doing and the fact I’ve had hard nipples and achy needful breasts along with a serious semi-bone going on all day or most of it’s not lost on her either.

Most surprising for as much as Kaylee has seemed more on the lesbian side of things she’s had feelings centered around my sonic screwdriver…hey…I’m an Alien….it took me awhile to come up with that one.

I take a few clearing breaths and slide my blocks back up and stretch and hold my back a bit before grabbing my rake and bending back over and get back to work.

It’s really getting to the end of the summer when it gets to raking season. Last bit of August the few local guys that have fields hire kids to rake still instead of getting the harvesters in and it’s hard work but it’s one of the last chances for big money before school starts up. Most of the farmers are older folks so they use it as extra cash themselves and they keep their fields for us kids to work.

With people like the Andersons who treat all us like visiting family it’s really nice too. Some people are good rakers and fill their buckets fast and some not. Me I’m in the high middle with about ten buckets filled so far and at fourteen cents a pound I’ve made…. Almost thirty bucks with so far. But if you’re a really good raker like dad or Shy they’ve likely raked enough to be close to a hundred bucks already and it’s not even lunch.

It’s hard work but at the same time. No office, no customers yelling at you and you’re out in the fresh air and here at Andersons their fields are like just a couple of hundred yards from the ocean.

A hard job really but a good one. Dad grew up doing it and he’ll likely make a hundred thirty or forty bucks today, but this is all under the table money too and you can get a pretty good check at the end of the week.

And there’s about two weeks or so left before we head home.

Home, now that’s changed for me too since learning all of this from Cheyenne. She’s definitely coming with us. I know mom’s see’s her like a street kid or runaway that needs help but she’s not.

But yeah I’m so not going to be telling anyone about this whole alien thing.

I mean how? Really just how?

I guess that’s why I’m not as good a raker as the others, I’m just not task focused enough. I mean between thinking everything out and Kaylee.

Shy and I really need to talk about Kaylee.

I do try a little harder though, I just need to think about this as training for hockey, exercise. Okay that actually helps a little getting into this rhythm of rake and pull and seeing as wrist strengthening exercises. Just ignore the berry raking aspect and the other stuff and do it in reps. It’s good for my wrist shots.

I break it up too by taking my buckets to get weighed and dumped and Kaylee’s too. They’re close to being two gallon buckets so close to twenty pounds each. I carry two of mine and two of hers all the way down the rows to the truck and the blower bench with the flats and old Mrs. Anderson.

Sweet old lady really she’s like one of those Jessica Tandy little old ladies. I dump the berries and the blower bench is just this high speed fan that blows the twigs and leaves out of the berries before they slide down into a blueberry flat were it’s weighed.

I get a drink of water and head back with some empty buckets and give Kaylee her ticket she doing worse than me but she’s never really done this before either.

“Hey, here’s some more buckets.”

“Thanks, you look amazing when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Take them down there like that four at a time.”

“Really?”

She smiles and she blushes a bit. “Yeah you’ve got these really great shoulders and arms and they get all musclier when you’ve got all that weight and….” She blushes and covers her face a bit.

“And?”

“It sort of makes you boobs push out as you carry them.”

“Oh…” I blink a few times and take a drink of my water. “So that’s good right?”

She nods blushing. I really want to kiss her. I glance but more feel for Shy and there’s this exasperated feeling from her and well okay…so I lean in and give Kaylee a kiss.

I still need to talk about this with Shy, there’s got to be something cultural with her being alright with me and Kaylee.

Do we have a culture? I mean yeah sure but what’s it like?

Uhm….My mind skips back on track when she kisses me back.

Oh…oh yeah okay this, this is…

It became one of those moments, warm sun, great breeze, two girls kissing…well I’m sorta a girl. Sorta not with the way Kaylee’s making me feel some very real, very normal things in this guy way. Which honestly is really, really good but so is the way her hand comes up and she cups my breast as we’re kissing.

She moves her hand away but it this full well knowing how it feels caress before breaking the kiss.

“That’s very good Dylan.”

“Yay me.” I smile at her.

She smiles back and her upper thigh grazes Happy through my pants as she slips away and goes and picks up her rake. “We should go for a swim at lunch.”

I nod. “Yes, definitely a swim would be good.”

Kaylee gives me this sexy cute smile and gets back to work bending over again. Me…It takes me a few minutes drinking water to get my head to where I should be working. I meet up with Shy back down at the blower bench with my next two buckets and watched Shy doing the same thing but with four like I was only they’re all hers.

That muscle thing that Kaylee was talking about Shy has that too…This dark haired tall girl in a pair of cut offs and a halter top carrying all that weight and her muscles just are all defined with the tan and her slight sheen that’s part lotion part perspiration. And she’s cut too great definition of her muscles. See that’s this third and four gender thing, I work out, I actually do that stuff a lot but because of me being Shuan I’ve got female body traits over my actual maleness including that female body fat.

Conversely Cheyenne has the reverse so she’s got this guy-like ration of subcu…whatever going on.

She looks though like one of those tanned small breasted muscle girls and add in her height which is another guy trait and the tan and her hair she’s got this semi-goth-emo-not -emo Hispanic or maybe even Native American thing going on.

Again Yeah…and wow.

I step over to her. “Hey?”

“Hey back.”

“So….”

“So?”

“So why are you okay with me being with Kaylee?”

“The summer’s almost over.”

“Okay…”

“Look Dylan, you and her just sort of have the summer, she’s going home, you’re going home. I’m going with you and you’re both not really planning a long distance relationship so I can wait.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m likely more sure than you.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means we’ve got this great connection, this literal thing between us and part of it’s just us being us but part’s racial too. I just want you to have the time and the space to let you get used to being you before we get involved.”

“Oh…” I’m looking at her and Shy’s looking…staring down into my eyes so much the guy right now that I’m getting those girly butterflies.

“Yes, oh…Dylan when people like us get involved we really get deep. I really want you to be sure and ready before we do something like that. I’d feel that I’d be taking advantage.”

Oh…gallant, gallant’s nice.

“Okay, that makes sense, so what about you what are you going to do while Kaylee and me are…well being us?”

“Get used to things here, get to know things here. I’m still pretty much a stranger in a strange land.”

“Okay…do you have a good answer for everything?”

“Sometimes but I just want to be fair to you. You deserve fair.” Cheyenne smiles and she kisses my cheek and heads over to get a start on a new row.

Yeah really yeah, I’m a guy…sort of but I’ve been a guy longer than being Shuan but getting the gallant treatment is nice, like feeling special in this deep way that I’ve never felt before.

Shy….caring about me, caring about my heart and my feelings. I feel happy and bouncy and even a little glomphy, but good glomphy. Oh wow, am I ever going to get used to this? Especially the hormones running through my making me feel.

Sigh…I get my buckets and head to finish my row before lunch.

If you’ve never been blueberry raking the rows are just plotted off sections like big rectangles that are set up by the stringer who usually uses like plain white string to mark stuff off. It keeps the rakers from going all over the place.

I get done my row barely getting another two buckets about ten minutes before lunch so I hop over the row to Kaylee’s and give her a hand raking the rest of hers just so when we come back from lunch we get to start fresh.

Her smile and “Thanks.” Is really terrific and just from the way Shy had me feeling I think I’m doing the same for her. That’s so where part of me thinks the lesbian thing is or even the gay thing has advantages. See aside from the attraction they have towards the same sex there’s I think this empathy. No, not like mine but they get things, like that walked a mile in the same shoes kind of thing.

We share some smiles finishing up and we’re even both checking each other out and it’s making me sort of self conscious. I mean she’s checking my out and I know there’s this whole girl into girls thing going on and some of those smiles are…

People can give you this look like you’re hot, they can look at you like a piece of meat but they can also look at you and still be checking you out but do it in a way that makes you feel, makes me feel pretty.

It’s a very different feeling, one I’m almost in denial of because guys aren’t supposed to be pretty, or like being pretty but as much as I’m a guy I’m finding more and more I’m really not either.

I carry our buckets down and she’s got the rakes and I’m feeling like, well me…this Shuan thing more and more because I’m being the guy carrying the heavy stuff and I’m feeling both that in that guy way that’s just sort of proud to do it in that good deed, good guy way like opening doors or pulling out a chair feels and I’m getting that pretty feeling too.

We dump our berries and get our cards marked and the others are getting done too and we break for lunch. Dad has the hibachi with us and we’re doing hot dogs pretty quickly and they just taste extra good done on the trunk of the car after working all morning and being this close to the beach.

Some things are just simple and just plain good.

We finish eating and I have a few but it’s almost neat to see Shy so kind of doing this Tuan thing. I mean she eats like the rest of the girls, that cute sort of dainty way but she’s fast though doing it and Shy packs away a half dozen hotdogs with all the fixings and soda besides.

Kaylee’s smiling at me and I smile back. “Gimmie a second?” I slip off to the tow trailer Mrs. Anderson uses when it’s really hot and has for us to use as a bathroom instead of a porta-john and I use the facilities and try something.

Breathe…focus…and I playback brushing my teeth this morning and try and release some power…energy into it and them my mouth feels fizzy? I spit out into the sink and there stuff you’d expect from brushing and my mouth feels clean…I rinse out the sink but that’s kinda cool.

Beware my vast alien powers! I can brush my teeth!

LOL Snerk.

I head out and Kaylee takes me by the hand and we walk down to the water and go down the beach a bit before we start to head into the water. It’s chilly at first after being in the sun all day but it feels good too. Even blocking I can feel the life forces in the water…that thing with dad after the fight and stuff…there’s so much life here that if you’re like me there’s like spill off or some thing that we can soak into.

“How about we get more comfortable Dylan?” She smiles as she bobs in the water.

“Okay…” I take off my shirt and roll it into a wet ball and toss it to the sand.

Kaylee’s bikini top and bottoms follow it.

I turn and look at her. “Kaylee?” She’s in to her neck in the water but I can still sorta see stuff. She gives me that big happy wide Kaylee grin. “You’re turn.”

I bite my lip a bit anxious and take off my bikini top, yeah I’d worn one just in case there was swimming. Oh…okay I’ve never really did the free boobs in water thing and that feels nice. I toss mine with hers and by the time I turn back she’s slipped swam up to me and cups my breasts gently and kisses me.

She tastes like cream soda.

And I’m very, quickly falling into the oh so perfect way she’s touching my breasts and making the ache better and worse all at the same time. That soothing feeling that comes with something feeling so good then wanting more.

I’m making both guy like moans and girly like whines as she’s making my eyes roll into the back of my head. I really, really try and return the favor…I want to do this right…to make her feel this amazing, like crying out and swooning and I open up my blocks to feel her…what feels good…

Oh…Being in the ocean with so much energy around you is so amazing…all that pleasure and lovely sweet sexual things mixing with bathing in almost a living thing and feeling her little jolts of pleasure and waves of swoony yay weak at the knees feelings.

Her hand goes into my basketball shorts… “Oh Kaylee….” My voice got soft and moany…I can feel her intent…she wants to stroke me off…but it’s not the just a hand job thing…well one it’s someone else’s hand and that’s always better but two she wants to get me to have an orgasm and I feel it on my…y’know through her touch.

I had to tap my powers to have the strength to not pop my cork there and then…Then her mouth on my nipples… “Oh!” I can’t help but to cry out and my voice is not as sharp in sex as it was…it’s like the female stuff I’m responding to being done to me is responding back…I actually kind of like it…sorta sexy in me being sort of sultry sounding…sultry with Kaylee at least is good…I can feel her getting turned on by the way I sound.

I respond with my own touches, sliding a hand down to her vagina and exploring with my touch, my powers feeling not just what feels good but exploring how intricate it all is and soon I’m touching, stroking, fingering her in just the ways she and her body likes it.

I don’t really need to be inside her…the feelings that she has…her sexuality seems to almost make me feel completely okay with things as is…I’m doing her innie while she’s doing my outtie and it’s serious lesbian sex.

We’re sort of panting and hanging onto her as we brought ourselves off three times each before she’s done…tired and sated and I’m well pleasured and I’m…I’m sort of feeling the same glow she’s feeling and that sappy post sex happy emotional thing too.

I hug her and hold her our breasts together and just push my feelings into her…not hard but that this was amazing, sweet, special, magical, emotional…all those good things and we actually both start to cry a little… her from that, me too from feeling hers. That connection now between us so much deeper…that honestly having made love feeling all backed too by history…

Yeah…our good times, our dates, the way I felt those times…they’re all part of my sexual experience with her…and the same with her. Honestly the good times I’ve had with girls before this were good but not a factor in being with them, or way not as much….and honestly this is a female thing I think and not something from my people. The upside of the female brain and not being able to stop female obsessing over things and stuff?

Huh…That alters my perspective some more.

We bob there in the water a bit and I just soak in the her feeling, the after glow the ocean and pull it all in until we start to prune up or get close to it and we hold hands as we wade back to shore and start getting dressed.

Kaylee just got her bottom’s shook out and on when a couple of guys on four wheeler ATV’s pull up and these guys start making cat calls at us. One machine on one side of us and the other on the other.

We’re covering our breasts and It’s….

I can feel Kaylee scared, and them too…drunk, horny, cocky…guy entitled…yeah…there’s this there’s six of them, two of us and they pretty much feel like they’re entitled because of that to do anything they want.

Aggression…hostility…

I’m scared too, not for me but sort of too at the same time and more scared for Kaylee who’s petrified and near tears. I want to get ready to fight but I’m scared to move my arms and expose myself.

What should I do?

Don’t blame Me I’m A Martian-26

Chapter 26

There’s apart of me scared and I hate it and there’s a part of me mad and I can’t do anything about it and they thoughts and the leers and the icky squishy touch you in a bad way that I really, really don’t want is just.

And Kaylee’s scared and I’m feeling that and her feelings and her fears are deeper than mine but I’m still getting them anyway and I need…need in a capitol N way to keep myself covered.

Just getting caught like this and them having fun victimizing us has this violated flavor.

It’s so strange to get locked up…like if I was a guy or at least still sort of a guy in my head then me swinging on them and showing off my breasts would have been embarrassing but handlable but this isn’t like that.

It’s like the way that I’ve been feeling after being with Kaylee and feeling so female and girly is having some sort of bad empathic reaction to them wanting my tit’s open…and touched and grabbed and squeezed and…

I kind of heard of the thing where the guy slides it through cleavage and…one of them wants that and to shove it down my throat and…I’m feeling sick and scared...

*Cheyenne…………

I close my eyes and I try to be less psychically grabby. Kaylee’s with Dylan and I’m trying not to be in the way.

Part of me is in the way and that has me freaked out.

I was raised to be Tuani and there’s a whole lot of sort of rules about it and it’s basically even if your female you’re still male enough in body and spirit as one of the other genders that you’re supposed to be a nice person.

….be a nice guy even though you’re not a guy.

A whole lot of that is mixed with our other training sort of like a moral code, like our sort of chivalry.

And I’ve been good with that. Even home I’ve been good with the men and women around me, the ones that I was close enough to, to say I dated. No I was not a nun or monk or whatever before coming here…before getting the call as it were.

And that’s fine…I’d be okay with things, we’re kind of laid back where I’m from after everything we’ve been through in our history and stuff. Even like using our powers with regular people is seen okay as its light and social.

Now home even a normal had had enough life experience to generally know when we’re doing that but it’s not the same out here.

Home you can openly emote out to people and it’s almost considered body language even with the normal two genders.

Here it’s like being in a vacuum and then…

Paw…I meet Dylan…and Dylan being Shuan the metaphysical mate to my gender it was like walking in from a desert to a rock concert or a symphony.

Oh they tell you when you meet one of the other half it’s powerful but they didn’t really tell you just how powerful and just how swept off your feet you’ll be.

And it’s much, much worse if that hit, that attraction is connected to someone so easy to like so much like Dylan.

It’s like…picture meeting someone on a blind date and they turn out to be a model and you’re blown away right?

Then add in the date going well.

And then add it by the end of the date you both feel like you’ve known each other for a long time and then have real sexual attraction.

That’s what it’s been like…

And Kaylee is down there in the water with Dylan and they’re….

There’s where my damned code of ethics the teach us comes in because I could…could do something shitty and subtly jedi her out of the picture. Not that I would that’s just wrong…and it’s not just that it’s the wrong thing to do it’s…

Kaylee is an actual nice person…she’s sort of in this whole lesbian thing with Dylan which isn’t her fault considering who and what Dylan is. No…she actually is his friend and cares for him and they have history here this summer and…

Does it ever suck when someone you really, really like is with someone that you really can’t find a lot of fault with and kind of like yourself?

I sit back on the ground my back against the door of Jax’s car. I like Jax he’s nice and he’s got a nice feel to him. Sure he’s kind of rough around the edges and he’s kind of a Guy with the whole capital G but he’s a nice guy with a good heart.

He’s got a great body too which if I’m strictly looking for that kind of male fun I like. No I’m not interested not after meeting Dylan but I think Jax and I are becoming friends since my basic nature is sort of despite being female is to be just one of the guys. But a friend that’s easy on the eyes isn’t a bad thing either.

So we’re sort of hanging out which is why I’m leaning on his car door as a back rest as we stay in the shade.

He looks at me. “So…”

“Yes, I’m still into your brother sorry Jax.”

He grins at me. “Saw that coming huh?”

I nod. “Yeah I’m psychic.”

He snorts just blowing it off almost no one ever believes me when I say it so that’s okay. “So…Dylan’s down there taking a skinny dip with Kaylee and you’re up here?”

“Yes…they were together way before I came into the picture.’

“Dylan likes you way more than he likes her.”

“No…Dylan likes me differently that he likes her…I’m not leaving like she is I’m just trying to be fair Jax.”

“Uhm news flash Shy, life’s not fair.”

“Jax…I know life’s not fair but that’s exactly why as people with free will we should work toward fixing it as much as we can when it’s out of whack around us.”

“That’s a great way to look at it but most people won’t this is a world full of I’ve got mine.”

“Another reason that we don’t act like that.” He looks a bit bitter like he’s had someone stomp on him or rather over him by the feelings.

“Shy that’s not going to change the world.” He’s looking down at his can of soda.

I lean over onto him and he looks at me and I look at him. “We’re only one person Jax we’re not supposed to change the world.”

“Then why Shy? I don’t get it.”

I give him a smile and sort of let the feelings kind of flow out of me from my grandfather who was a really nice man and full of wisdom like… “We’re supposed to change one person…at a time…that’s what will change the world.”

He looks at me and he blinks and smiles. “You…you girl have been watching way too much kung-fu. Qui-Chang-Kane you are not.”

I’m about to ask him what he’s talking about when I hear the engines…then this faint feel of…hunt…aggression and…sexual violence…

I pop up to my feet and then I feel the spikes of fear from Kaylee and Dylan…

“Jax come on Dylan and Kaylee are in trouble.”

I turn and run towards the bank and I slip into plyometrics…now that’s normally when you train at fast sudden movements and things for fighting. Tuani plyometrics is a burst of my core energy right into my body and that actually ramps up my metabolism, boosts some adrenaline but most of all it sends overriding current to my muscle control.

It’s like that electric current making your muscles do things…well it’s that but under my control and not a machine…sort of mind over muscle and the metabolism and adrenaline are by-products for keeping our bodies from hurting themselves.

I see them down there and I run pushing it…feet hitting the ground at an angle like a speed skater digging in turning power into more speed until I hit the edge of the bank and I jump off at them.

*Dylan…………

Shy came literally out of nowhere and it was these guys laughing at us and one was reaching over to grab one of Kaylee’s arms to yank it from covering her breasts and then there was this thrashing thump.

And she landed from jumping off the bank onto the front rack of the four wheeler and with a palm strike to the guy driving she sent him and the two jerks sharing the back of the ATV off one of them the guy that was reaching for Kaylee.

She’s looking not even at those three but at the other three on the other bike in this low crouch almost like she was ready to tackle them with one of her hands on the handlebars and she is all.

Feral, angry, hot…smoking hot with her dark hair in her face like some wild warrior and her eyes are just so intense. I can feel her anger at them coming off her in a shimmer and with it menace and…protection.

Something like…like nothing I’ve ever felt because it’s so strong and pure that she want’s to protect us…keep us safe and…

Part of me that’s the old Dylan me is like…whoa…right on that was cool…and the awakening girl female shuan part of me is all swoon fall over with a happy surge.

Her voice has this edge to it.

“You really should be leaving now.”

And god if they were smart they would take her up on that advice. But they’re guys and she’s not and they outnumber her and they’re drunk and they see just another victim…I can feel it and this dislike of her being some uppity les chick.

“Fuck you cunt.” One of them snarls and they all hop off the ATV.

I’ve been in some fights and I’ve never seen anything like this except in the movies because as soon as the jerkwad said it and they slid off they were too close to me.

Cheyenne shot off the ATV like she was launched and I saw her leg snap out and connect with the mouthy one and I can feel her pulling back…? Like she’s holding back a lot of that kick and it still hits him in the head and drops him.

She actually used that kick to bounce off him and land in the middle of the other two and she wails on them likes she’s Jet Li. Then she turns and I turn as the other three are getting up and Jax is there coming down the bank and onto the sand at full run and he slugs one with a left hook and turns just like the boxer he is and drives a right into the breadbasket of another guy and the third stumbles backwards away from him and Cheyenne falling down he’s trying to get clear of them so fast.

I moved in front of Kaylee and backed us off and away from the fighting we actually didn’t het that far away before the fight was over and the assholes are all moaning on the ground and one has a joshing bloody nose from Shy booting his head and he’s gagging on his blood a few minutes before he starts puking and the guy Jax hit in the guts is retching up his beer and unfortunately what looks like pizza-vom.

And Cheyenne’s standing there and she’s…

All her muscles are taut somehow and are flexed and super defined right now and she’s got this almost amazon-knight-guy-as-in that-guy thing going on and that suit she’s in that shows off her body just right and her raven dark hair being caught in the wind.

My heart rolls over in my chest in this fangirl way that I’ve never felt before and at the same time she’s so strong and powerfully female that I’m hard to the point of pain.

She glares at them like their utter crap and she kick nudges the last two guys she beat on beside pizza puker.

“Shirts now!” It was this order…oh mistress crack the whip…

They move away from her actually feeling and looking scared and pull off their t-shirts and toss them to her and she walks backwards and hands them to me and to Kaylee.

Kaylee…oh she’s so feeling Shy right now…but in the normal way but the oh my god stunned by her lesbian way and just being that close to Shy and the way Shy defended her and me…I can feel her as turned on as I am.

I completely agree…if I was alone with Shy my face would be between her thighs and I’d be servicing my stud-girl until she was…

Shy looks over her shoulder at us and looking at us there’s this girl that’s the boy next door sweet everything will be okay smile there.

I carefully take one of the shirts and tears slip out and run down my face but they’re happy, thank you me hero tears.

Then she turns to then and Jax has come closer and he pulls the keys from the ATV’s and he whips them as hard as he can out into the water.

Cheyenne looks at them. “Get the hell out of here.”

One of them heads towards the water.

Jax shoves him down. “No, fucking walk assholes…come back tomorrow and look for them.”

The guy that Shy hit first is moving back and away from us with the others. “I’m gonna call the cops you fuckers, you can’t fucking do this y’know…”

“Go right ahead, I’m already here.” Mom’s voice and she’s there with dad and the other family is up at the edge of the bank with the other rakers and mom’s in her raking gear but there’s no mistaking the glint of her badge on the chain around her neck.

It’s a little eww but it’s got me giggling that I actually felt how close one of them came to actually having a “Movement.” right there and then because of mom.

Okay there’s another little moment of being a shuan and it being a good thing. Not the reading feelings bit but my natural femness makes it all the more cool to be all proud and stuff of having such an amazing kick bum mum.

Did I just think kick bum?

Jerkwad stares at her then he takes off with the rest of them and mom let’s them go since it’s going to be down to this whole witness thing if she pushed the law thing. No these guys wouldn’t have a clue to think that far but their folks and the lawyers might.

She looks at us. “You guys alright?”

I nod. “Thanks to Shy and Jax…and you guys.”

She looks at the ATV’s then comes over and she hugs both me and Kaylee and my dad’s actually shaking Jax’s hand in that dad I’m proud of you way then he hugs Cheyenne but in that same way like he’s proud of her too.

She looks like she’s really surprised by that and she hugs him back after a slow second and blushes.

Mom leads us to the path up the bank and Jax and dad join us and Mrs. Anderson hugs all of us once we’re back up top and says. “I called and reported those little SOB’s the sheriff’s coming out and they’re gonna town those things off of my beach!”

I can’t help but giggle from the stress release and the fact that this sweet little old lady is calling someone SOB’s. It’s like South Park in reverse. She looks at all of us and gives us that big everybody’s grandma look and says. “I’m gonna make some more ice cream, we definitely need some more ice cream after those little SOB’s.”

I’m looking at Cheyenne who looks well normal again and she’s doing this guy slash buddy handshake with Jax who is sort of looking and feeling now like he’s sporting a man-crush on Shy after this fight and I look back at the ATV’s.

Their twenty feet or so from the bottom of the bank where it meets the beach and the bank’s at least a dozen feet high…

And as awesome and everything that it was it was also this…

So what exactly is she and what exactly am I?

And what will I turn into?

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-27

Chapter 27

We’re into the second batch of blueberry ice cream that old Mrs. Anderson had made for us when the cops showed up. Kaylee’s sticking close to me enough that I’m holding her and trying to sort of radiate comfort and that I’ve got her and its safe now, to her with my powers.

She’s leaning right into me with her weight right into my boobs pressing them into hers and it’s so on purpose too. and jeeze I really want to be with her and yet I want to be with Shy after what happened and her being that amazing and there’s another part that’s upset that I kinda froze and got scared and all girly about these guys and the way they seen me sexually and wanted actually wanted me freaked out and scared by that and that well…had me… freaked out.

And getting freaked out has me upset because that’s never happened to me before. Before I’d been right in there mixing it up.

And my male pride is really smarting over that and yet there’s this whole instinct thing that’s saying that this is the way that it goes with Sh’uan and T’uan…and I’m the touchy feely girly one of the two.

And that….has me feeling this whole thing I think that girls feel when their guys step up and defend them from stuff like that.

God my life is so damned complicated.

I go and find a place for us to sit on some flipped over berry flats and just kind of take a breather and think.

“Dylan?” Kaylee asks leaning over to look at me.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“No…I’m trying to deal with my male pride.”

“Why?”

“Why? I froze when they started in on us.”

“So you were scared? That’s normal.”

“Not for me, it’s just since the start of the summer I’ve been changing and this time I really, really didn’t recognize myself. I don’t freeze like that.”

“You’re not the same person Dylan, what guy’s guy was there and what you used to be has changed…heck your whole body has gone through some serious changes you can’t expect to be the same person too.”

“I know, in my head that makes perfect sense if I’m being logical and stuff I mean yeah…but emotionally it’s totally different feeling I should have done more.”

“Dylan…look it’s not exactly a secret that I sort of see you way more as a girl and that’s why I’m so into you.”

“Yeah I know.”

“But…”

“But?”

“But…you were scared but you still put yourself between them and me. It says to me that okay you might have been scared like me in the same way as me but you still stood up and put me ahead of you and that’s incredibly romantic.”

“It is?”

“Yes, it makes you one hell of a stand up girlfriend.”

“Oh…”

Kaylee leans over a little more and she kisses me long and slowly and deeply and it’s good…really good especially being kissed and touched in this sweet girl and girl way that’s so soft and so sweet and yet as much as this is a girl thing I’m getting this almost side-guy thing going on.

Two girls making... out frenching and touching and nipples hardening and…yeah that’d turn on most guys and guess what…I’m definitely guy enough right now.

We break the kiss when the two trucks from the sheriffs department show up with a flatbed towing truck to take statements and find out what happened.

Okay…it’s kind of interesting and it pisses me off a little because they pulled up and I had this sense of them wanting this to be blown over the whole boys will be boys don’t upset the tourists mentality from them.

That’s a kinda common reaction in tourist towns actually keep them happy, keep the money flowing and all that garbage. Part of me is really, really pissed because uhm…hello that was sexual assault…or something and it was really uncool.

And then their attitude does a complete one eighty when they see mom.

Bikini top, straw hat on jean cut offs and sneakers but right in her cleavage is her shield on its chain. She might be state but I’ve lost count of the times mom’s left the cottages to help these guys out.

I’m grinning now.

Those little assholes might have just as well picked on their daughters now.

We get called over to ask a few questions as well as Jax and Shy who don’t seem to be in any more trouble that Kaylee and I are because of what happened and they say they’ll be talking to these boys and their folks and they then end up taking the ATV’s on the flatbed and impounding them.

That at the least will cost them money to get out and mom points out that they’ll likely be at the hospital and that they should take the beer they had on the ATV’s as evidence of drinking and driving and drinking under aged.

Actually after our statements mom leaves with them and we go back to raking berries and we keep going until it starts to get dark out.

Yeah that makes for a long day really in the fields but its good money if you’ve done it before or you’re like Cheyenne and can copy the way that the others are doing it that are really good.

It actually takes me awhile to do that myself…actually it’s likely easier for me because I’m sort of copying from Cheyenne who’s helping me get it down. It might seem like cheating but it’s actually learning more than cheating but it’s deeply learning by feel.

And it takes the creeps off my mind and back into focusing on making some money. It would be nice no matter how much that I’ve changed to go back home with a really good chunk of change in my bank account.

We’re tired and sweaty all over again and sticky but not in a good way but from the berries and dirty and more than ready to call it a day but the time we’re done. Kaylee limps lightly over to me not that she’s hurt but it’s a long time on your feet on uneven ground when you’re not used to it and she kisses me.

“So…Dylan…?”

“So…yes?”

“If I talk to my folks do you think it’d be okay if I stayed with you?”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight and through raking, it’d save a lot of gas and bother.”

“Sure…just let me ask Dad.” And Cheyenne…I don’t want to step out of bounds with our relationship.

“Okay I have to call and ask permission too.”

She kisses me again and walks off with her phone and I head over to where Dad’s at. “Hey…Uhm can Kaylee…?”

“Yes as long as her folks are okay with it I heard what she said and it does make sense…but you’re going to be careful…you have protection?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“Show me.”

I pull out my wallet and show him my condoms. “There’s more back ay the trailer too.”

“Good make sure okay, and be careful. I’m going to go and get your mom.”

“Okay thanks Dad.”

“Hey, I’d rather have all of you safe and together where we can check on you then off somewhere doing something stupid because you think stupid was the option.”

“Thanks Dad.”

“Dylan?”

“Yeah Dad?”

“Fifty bucks.”

“What!?”

“Fifty dollars, she’s staying with you and while I’m trusting the two of you to be safe you’re still having a girl over so fifty dollars.”

“Mom never…”

He smiles and cuts me off. “Yes okay you can deal with you having Kaylee stay over or I can.”

Fu..fudge.

Okay so there’s a definite upside to this but it’s…sigh. Him and the money or dealing with Mom.

“Okay…Here.”

I nearly physically hurts getting taken like that. He takes the money I pulled from my now nearly barren wallet and gives me that Dad smile. That age and treachery smile.

I sigh and walk away nursing my wallet to go talk to Cheyenne who’s actually had picking blueberries into some of the sandwich bags.

“You’re not sick of them yet?”

“Nope, I’m stocking us up.”

“Okay, why?”

“For when we go back to you home. I want to have some frozen for when we want them and I want to make some things or try to make somethings with them.”

“You don’t have them home?”

“No we have to bring them in like a lot of things and that’s kind of a bother so we just eat the local stuff which is still good just these are a treat.”

“Okay, actually I don’t mind them either since it’s just the end of the summer thing here for us too.”

Cheyenne looks at me. “So…Kaylee’s staying over huh.”

“Looks like it are you sure that you’re okay with this?”

She looks at me again and it’s that sort of exasperated with the girl guy vibe coming off of her. I raise my hands. “Sorry…sorry I just wanted to be sure.”

Shy sighs. “It’s okay; it must be a Shuani thing…”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well I’m female but Tuani and I’m not stressing over this, but you’re a guy but Shuani and you’re all girl stressing over the whole deal so…”

I slide my hips to one side and set on hand on them and the other one I’m giving her the finger.

Shy gives me this hungry guy look that actually gives me some shivers and she smiles. “More than enough time for that Dylan.”

“Uhm…yeah…so where will you…”

“I’ll crash with Jax.”

“He might…”

“No, he won’t I’ve been sort of pulling his feelings he has towards me more towards how he feels about friends.”

“Empathic friendzoning?”

“It’s actually way better than rejection to the friend zone verbally. He likes me sure and the thing is your brother’s kind of a guy-slut. And that’s semi okay it’s biology but me guiding that like and want to screw her auto response into hey she’s a cool chick is better because we’ll actually be friends.”

“Isn’t that like mind control?”

“No, I can’t make him do thinks or even think things I’m just taking what he’s feeling and turning his instinct to be with a girl he likes and putting it in his mental file box he uses for his friends.”

“Uhm…okay…”

“I’m not hurting his feelings if anything he needs a few actual female friends instead of ex’s and people he’s dated if just for perspective.”

“It’s still sort of changing him.”

“It is but so is interacting with someone this, this is on a different level.”

“But you could do bad stuff with things like this.”

“Dylan you…anyone can do bad things even without our abilities its intent.”

“Okay but just…”

“Look he likes me as a friend right now anyways; it’s just that I’m taking out the sex factor between us.”

“Oh well that’s better then.”

“Okay? We good?”

“Yeah sorry it’s just so much to process and with the things you did today…”

“Aaah…yeah sorry for freaking you out but that was me sort of in fight mode.”

“Sort of?”

“Oh yeah we can do more and a lot worse if we really have to. HAVE to Dylan not want to. Think of what I did as our powers letting us do all those crazy old martial master stuff.”

“Okay it’s just a little bit…”

“Inhuman?”

“Yeah…it just drove that home.”

“We are human Dylan just different is all.”

“Okay…just it’s going to take time.”

“I know, trust me it’ll take all your life.”

“Huh?”

“Feeling when to or not to, learning and mastering it and all of that it’s a lifelong experience for all of us Dylan but you will get more used to it.”

“Oh good.”

I lean down and kiss her. “I’m going to go check on my girlfriend.”

“Oh so she’s you’re girlfriend then what am i?”

“You’re my boyfriend of course.”

Cheyenne’s grinning and she/he goes back to hand picking berries.

I head over to Kaylee and she’s smiling and yet a bit frowny.

“What’s up?”

“I can stay over but my mom is so not happy with me and you. She’s very put out with this being me being away from then with my lesbian boyfriend.”

I hug her. “Hey, not everyone is cool with people being people…it sucks but she’s at least trying.”

“Yeah, my dad likes you sort of…you’re respectful. He said use protection and don’t spend all your money.”

“Sound advice and pretty much what my Dad said too.”

“But what about your mom?”

“Mom’s a bit more protective you might get taken aside for some of talk or something.”

“Oh crap.”

I hug her until Jax and the others are ready and we dog pile into the car…oh…as Jax’s friend Shy get’s shotgun and isn’t squished in the back with five others.

I’d be pissed but I’ve got Kaylee on my lap and my arms around her touching and holding onto soft and fun bits as we go her place first to pick up her things.

We’re all starving by the time we get back to the cottages.

*(Arrowhead NSA facility.)

Agent Marc Foster walked through in his first tour of the place and it was very odd. Built like a copy of the NORAD bunker this place had full security and then some. He was stopped by another agent who checked his ID’s and was wearing a black SWAT helmet.

They passed him one too and flipped a switch.

“What’s that?”

“It’s your tinfoil hat.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s protection, so they don’t climb into your head.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ll see Agent Foster, you’ll see.”

They actually went in really deep, deep enough to need a golf cart and he was then taken down many more levels in an elevator until they reached a detention block.

He saw guards and techs and all wearing the helmets too but as far as he could tell there was just the one cell.

“Just one cell?”

“One per prisoner, one per floor.”

“Why?”

“Unshielded, too close together they can link up and help each other.”

“I don’t understand, who can?”

The unnamed agent flicked a switch and the lights came on in the cell and there was a guy? Maybe one of those trans things but they were in a straight jacket and sitting on a bed with long dark hair and these really ultra intense blue eyes and they were staring at both of them and there wasn’t even a flinch from the darkness to the bright lights.

“So who is he?”

“She, as far as we can tell this one’s mostly female.”

“Mostly?” He frowned.

“Yes, tests have told us that they’re a nearly perfect blend of both genders.”

“How?”

“You’re looking at an alien.”

“Aliens aren’t real.”

“Oh I assure you that they are and they’re been here a long time infiltrating our planet.”

“So why is she here?”

“Other than colonizing our planet and our country?”

“Yeah…”

“I don’t know, she hasn’t broken yet.”

“What have you tried?”

“Everything but surgeries.”

Agent Foster looked at the other agent. Did he mean torture?

The “woman” in the cell nodded looking right at him.

“She just…”

“Yes, apparently we can only jam them so much.”

“So how do we know what we know?”

“Some weren’t as strong as this one.”

“So why was I picked for this again?”

“Your work in HS for one and the fact that you have a combat record stating that you are polygraph resistant and have been tortured before. Not everyone can handle working here. Or in the field.”

“In the field?”

“We have a device…a sort of detector for them using their powers in a big way.”

“Like?”

“They have these crystals that they use as batteries and others as focuses. Our machine can sometimes tell when these things are active on the ley lines.”

“Ley lines? Wait isn’t that witchcraft bullshit?”

“Yeah but think of it as the earth’s lines of EM energy they use it and tap it and we’re getting so where we can be able to see sometimes when they do.”

“And I’ll be headed there to bring them in?”

“Yes.”

“And then?”

“Then we determine if the threat that we’ve learned of is true.”

“Threat?”

“We have witnesses, witnesses from their world that came over here.”

“More aliens?”

“No human’s just like us but survivors from their Earth.”

“Their Earth?”

“Yes, one where their world escalated into a global nuclear war and all manipulated by these creatures here the so called next evolution of humanity…”

“How can we trust these people?”

“Because they were all dying when the got here. All of them and they contacted us first as soon as they came through.”

“Were?”

“They’re all dead except for one of them who survived their treatments.”

“Oh…and we still believe them?”

“We’ve been chasing these things for almost twenty years Agent Foster, trust me they are indeed lethal and dangerous and if they meant us no harm then why are they hiding? They’re out there and they’re causing humanities fall…just look at now compared to the eighties…our economy, terrorism, it’s all connected.”

Agent Foster felt his blood run cold…he loved America but he had seen it turn crazy and almost unpatriotic and then there were all the things that happened…if these things could get in your head…others.

He turned and glared at the thing in the cell and “She” glared back.

“I’m more than ready to do my part sir.”

“Good, let’s get you in to meet the general and get you fully briefed.”

They started to leave when some of the guards moved and “She” was up against the plated glass of her cell staring at them and she whispered to them in a voice that had been lacking water for quite a while.

“You have no power over me, I will go home Donald…Marc…”

She stared and he couldn’t break her gaze it was that intense until he was pulled away and his head started to pound.

*Serra…………

I stare at then until they leave…They’ll come soon the gas is already filling my cell…I meant what I said. They don’t have power over me no matter what they do to me.

My power is elsewhere…with Stevie…and with Dylan…my Shua-bonded and my son…

I cough and fight the effects of the tranq-gas as much as I can.

~I’ll get free…I’ll find you both…~

Darkness...

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-28

Chapter 28

I was a little worried still with the whole Shy and Jax thing but if Shy’s doing anything then I can’t feel it but Jax is sort of…he’s treating Shy like a mix of me and Hill. He’s still being him and being a rude butt and all that but he’s not perving on her anymore. He’s treating her like a girl but also like me so…a girl that he has no mouth to brain filter for and is acting as gross and stuff with like shy’s just one of the guys.

Okay…I so think I had something else in mind and I might have gotten more than a little freaked out by Cheyenne doing that whole martial arts powers thing. I mean its one thing to watch it on a movie or TV but to actually see someone do stuff like that guy from the movie. “I am Number 4.” Is really kind of freaky in real life.

And I’m an alien, still human but I’m an alien from another dimension.

So if I’m jumping to conclusions then that’s sort of why.

But seeing them just hanging out together and how just normal and unthreatening it is kind of sets me at ease. I’d like to think that if something overt was being done to my family that I’d know or feel it.

So now I can relax a bit.

And now I’m hungry and the way that Kaylee has been nuzzling and kissing with me on the way back kind of getting horny too.

Oddly this is not like the other times that I’m been both. Now horny is more like aroused…flushed and aching and tingling all in this good way this feeling in my gut of wanting to be with her that…it’s deeper and more meaningful that a boner…this is really wanting to be with her inside of her and it’s so much… and then there’s the fact my breasts have been wanting hand to skin contact for almost thirty minutes is just…

Girl aroused, female aroused only wanting to be inside someone…Kaylee as intimately as women want their lovers inside them.

It took some pointed coughing by the parents to get us to break up that make up session Kaylee and I had been whipping up while we were in the back of Jax’s car. Mom was looking at Kaylee with this look on her face and at me and she sort of was confused.

She was trying to work her head around just what to say about this to Kaylee…since I was still her son and she was going to have that kind of Mom talk with her but then she came over and we were petting and making out and Kaylee’s hands were on my boobs.

I sort of can feel that for a few seconds before her momness takes over and it’s a non-specific talking that’s coming at Kaylee.

“Dylan go and give your dad and the guys a hand with everything will you?”

I’m cluing in more since I can feel people out and mom means now.

“Okay, just be easy on her. I like her.” And I actually give her this please look and she gives me this look that reads to me as…Nice try son but Hillary’s better at the please mommy pout.

Dammit.

I get out and she takes my place in sitting with Kaylee and I can feel Kaylee having this oh shit moment.

I kind of bite my lip as I head over to where the guys are. Okay this might be girly or Sh’uan of me but there’s this kind of nice feeling that I guess is kinda sorta like a girl might have when a guy comes calling and gets the dad treatment.

It’s so screwed up right?

We’re putting on a big spread since it’s into the countdown…the last ten days of us being here and while we do stuff like berry raking and that we kind of also go a little further to have a good time.

Like these big barbeques and doing stuff like the whole coil boil deal and I’m shucking corn because some will get boiled, some will get grilled and then there’s steaks and chicken and Uncle Jim’s making pasta red sauce and ricotta. That doesn’t sound BBQ right but in my family it is. Some families do brats and hot dogs and we do too but we do sausage and peppers also and with the grilled flavor and stuff it’s really good and we sort of serve them up like a sub.

A good hot dog bun and brush it with some melted garlic butter then some scoops of ricotta and then the peppers and chunks of sausage in the sauce like a meatball sub was hot dog sized only its grilled New Jersey styled sausage and peppers.

And you know they’re really good because they’re messy too.

There’s another conundrum I’m having too.

Food…really good food versus sex.

And I really like sex too.

See if I end up pigging out like I usually do at these things I’m going to get all fully and loagey and want to sleep especially after everything that happened to us and working too.

And after the stuff in the back seat of Jax’s car.

Oh…oh…wow…Sh’uan mental instant replay turn on.

So like I said there’s I’m feeling better about Jax and Shy hanging around he doesn’t seem any different really and he’s actually on his phone calling up some girl he knows to come over and eat and hang out and other people are too.

Well those of us that are sort of seeing people that is.

The mood picks up as the parental units start turning on the stereo inside the main house and pipe the music outside and it’s the local rock station so barring a few of the hip-hop and the ick band types or the ones that are into country…again ick. I like rock, some metal and that’s about it and even my rock tastes are pretty much older stuff compared to some of the other kids my age.

Some, mind you there’s a lot of us even at my age that like the older classic rock. I mean One direction or Long Division or whatever they’re calling themselves can hold a candle to bands with stuff like Boston and Cream or AC/DC and Nazareth.

And Jonas brothers please! Boy band…I don’t even like the old boy bands. Sugar Ray and Smashmouth don’t count, they aren’t boy bands.

And there’s people moving and dancing a little bit because Seger is on the radio and Dad’s cranking “Old Time Rock and Roll.”

Hey maybe my taste in music is an alien thing?

Dad’s getting the steaks ready…flaked salt and fresh ground black pepper and a little mixture with it of smoked paprika, onion and garlic powder. Lots of seasoning since it’ll come off a fair amount when you’re grilling and there’s lots of other stuff being made too for like sides and stuff.

Dad’s dumping a whole can of ketchup into a pot for the grill…yes hot ketchup it’s a thing of his and it’s not just heated up but he cooks it done too so it becomes like really thick. Thick ketchup doesn’t make for sloppy burgers. Not that sloppy’s a bad thing sometimes it’s just there are times when the condiments especially on burgers can and do make your burger slide apart.

And dad also uses pickles like other people don’t like sliced beets and mustard pickles and even green tomato chow, chow are all things that go good on burgers and hot dogs.

Mustard beans on a dog with a shake of black pepper and just a little celery salt is one of my must haves when we do something like this.

I think I’ve come up with a solution to this whole thing.

All of the others here with their dates and S.O.’s are in that mood too that sweet semi on edge thinking about sex and doing things just as much as I am and I’m sort of tuning into that vibe thinking of Kaylee even as we’re cooking and then eating together.

Her face, her voice her skin…god I want to see her naked, that fair skin her creamy parts those amazing breasts of hers.

And she seems to have recovered from her talk with mom and we’re sitting close together hip to hip with all this sweet eye contact and feeding each other choice bits off our plates and sucking on fingers in this amazingly sexual semi-lesbian thing.

I can feel her thinking of my fingers touching her and being inside of her but I’m picturing the feel of her girl delicate fingers wrapping around my cock in almost the same intimate way.

Oh yes…the want of the feel of the pads of her fingers the heats of herb touch in so a personal way and place has me so turned on.

And the feeling too of how much she wants to touch and hold and caress my breasts and I want that too…oh I’m getting so aware of my breasts, of the sexuality of being Sh’uan.

“God Kaylee…this, us…I really want to be alone with you.”

“Me too Dylan….I can’t wait to be with you too.”

“Was mom too intense?”

“No it was intense but it was kind of cool too.”

“Cool?”

“It’s kinda sexy and empowering getting asked about just what I want from us and our relationship.”

I bite my lower lip looking her in the eyes. “And you told her?”

She turns side ways on the picnic table and she scooches closer and moves her legs so I’m feeling the heat of her sex against my hip. Ow…hard, hard, hard…both down there but my nipples are trying to push through my bra too.

“I told her that I like you a lot and that I like you for you… everything about you and that I’m committed to have what we have to be as special as we can make it.”

“Oh…wow…” Oh I’m so feeling my yay squee girl hormones right now.

“She said that you’re going through stuff other people don’t have to go through and that if I broke your heart she’d hang me by my thumbs on the back of her cruiser.”

I blush deeply. “Moooommm…shit.”

“No, no Dylan it’s cool. I think it’s awesome she loves you that much and that we were women enough to actually have a talk. That never happens y’know it’s all passive aggressive stuff…bullshit and head games.”

I’m looking at her as she takes my hand in hers and smiles at me.

“And then what…?”

Wow…I’m…I’m almost… You can, girls can, I can…the way that this feels is so much better than the way that sex used to feel to me…I mean I still like sex but this, this is like I’ve felt after our dates but like ten times more.

Women, girls, me…we get to feel like this and we get sex with it?

I’m so getting the whole why relationships are more important than just the physical stuff.

“Then I told her that I liked you and that you and I have something special and something intimate. I told her that if I left here at the end of this summer and we hadn’t been together I’d regret it.”

“You did? You would?”

“Yeah, heck yeah to both. Dylan I might not be all hook up lesbian girl and stuff but I know someone that’s going to be someone special to me my whole damned life even if we only get this summer together.”

Blink…blink… (Sniffle.) I lean over and I kiss her…right in front of everyone I kiss her long and deeply and over and over again while there a couple of tears running out of the corners of my eyes because that has to be the most romantic thing I’ve every had said to me and yeah…that matters a whole lot more now.

We kiss and we kiss and we kiss until there’s more that coughing going on from people but the tossing of bits of food and napkins and we’re getting booed by the peanut galley.

We break the kiss smiling and blushing and it’s still all good even as stuff goes on through the rest of the night. We help with what dishes there are and we stick close together doing those and then there’s a flag frisbee football game after that and not surprisingly Cheyenne is really good at that and I get sort of images from her to me of frisbee being one of the things that they actually did play a lot of as a younger kid.

I’m still despite all my changes and the extra bounciness that I have able to really kick butt like I usually do. In fact the more intensely we play the more I pick up on it emotionally and the more into it I get and push myself.

It feels really good to feel that despite all the happy yay yummy romantic stuff. I’m so not ready to be that girled out all the time. Though if you’re thinking what I’m thinking yes…yes in feels a bit bi-polar in a way.

Then there’s music getting played instead of from the radio they did out some of the old mixed tapes that the parents have and we sort of have a dance. It’s nothing really formal or even like organized just the lights down low and the fire in the fire pit and the glow from the patio lanterns and the old fashioned x-mas bulbs that we have decorating the place and we’re dancing on the grass on the yard but it’s still fun and it’s even neat to watch the parental units and Aunts and Uncles and grandparents dancing too.

Another reason why classic rock is good.

Good rock transcends generations.

And I love dancing; it changed for me really ever since Kaylee and I ended up going to that party and danced there. And yes I dance some with Cheyenne and it was fun because I step up still a little charge from the game and I lead.

Speaking of the whole bipolar feeling I feel her surprise and shift as she slips into girl mode in her head and it seems like such a change? I mean as Cheyenne she’s this tough and attractive Tu’ani “guy” but me taking charge like this she’s Shy and Shy is tall and slender and quiet and yes she’s that shy type all sort unsure of herself in this really endearing way.

It was really pretty cool and sort of magical in it’s own way and my guyness being back sort of has this same effect on Kaylee but different because our first dance she has this “oh yes” thing and she wraps her arms around my neck and lets me lead but with her arms there we’re face to face but we’re also breast to breast.

It’s a good way to start our dancing together and the dancing does start to lead to kissing and some heavy petting and eventually close to midnight we slip off to my tent trailer.

She brings her bags in with her and tosses them up on the other bed and I light a few tea candles and a scented chocolate one and kill the lights and I turn on my CD player and put on some music. I’ve some ones that I’ve burned that have some romantic stuff on them and we dance sort of almost barely in that little middle space and Kaylee’s the one that starts to take my clothes off first and I do the same with hers and there’s this whole…

We’re standing and we’re naked except for our underwear and kissing and touching each other…our breasts…I’ve never been more into those feeling or aware of my breast before this and Kaylee’s are excellent…and pretty…ripe and full but this pale fair skin with a few freckles and these so amazing pink nipples that I am finding so attractive. I’m getting all swoony too and flushed as things get better and better as the touches and kisses are almost dancing all its own as Brian Adam’s song is playing “When you love a woman.”

I’m all goosebumps in a good way when my little sweet girlfriend butches up all of a sudden and is french kissing me and her hands go from gently squeezing my breast to sliding down my sides (Whine…) and she glides to my hips and then my butt which she cups…squeezes…and she lifts me in this stunning and shockingly strong sexy little burst of energy onto my bed and steps between my legs and with that sexy lip bite she starts pulling down my underwear.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-29

Previously…

And she seems to have recovered from her talk with mom and we’re sitting close together hip to hip with all this sweet eye contact and feeding each other choice bits off our plates and sucking on fingers in this amazingly sexual semi-lesbian thing.

I can feel her thinking of my fingers touching her and being inside of her but I’m picturing the feel of her girl delicate fingers wrapping around my cock in almost the same intimate way.

…………………………..

Oh yes…the want of the feel of the pads of her fingers the heat of her touch in so a personal way and place has me so turned on.

And the feeling too of how much she wants to touch and hold and caress my breasts and I want that too…oh I’m getting so aware of my breasts, of the sexuality of being Sh’uan.

“God Kaylee…this, us…I really want to be alone with you.”

She brings her bags in with her and tosses them up on the other bed and I light a few tea candles and a scented chocolate one and kill the lights and I turn on my CD player and put on some music. I’ve some ones that I’ve burned that have some romantic stuff on them and we dance sort of almost barely in that little middle space and Kaylee’s the one that starts to take my clothes off first and I do the same with hers and there’s this whole…

We’re standing and we’re naked except for our underwear and kissing and touching each other…our breasts…I’ve never been more into those feeling or aware of my breast before this and Kaylee’s are excellent…and pretty…ripe and full but this pale fair skin with a few freckles and these so amazing pink nipples that I am finding so attractive. I’m getting all swoony too and flushed as things get better and better as the touches and kisses are almost dancing all its own as Brian Adam’s song is playing “When you love a woman.”

I’m all goosebumps in a good way when my little sweet girlfriend butches up all of a sudden and is french kissing me and her hands go from gently squeezing my breast to sliding down my sides (Whine…) and she glides to my hips and then my butt which she cups…squeezes…and she lifts me in this stunning and shockingly strong sexy little burst of energy onto my bed and steps between my legs and with that sexy lip bite she starts pulling down my underwear.

And now…

Oh I’ve been with a few girls and I’ve even had a few bow jobs but I’m such a different person now…her hand make me throb almost painfully sweet with her first touch and that doesn’t fade away but just sort of becomes this achy constant. Then she’s kissing it, and licking it mostly the head and the glands and I can feel her imagining it as this big…what…?

I’m feeling images…seeing flashes of girls with boy parts springing out of…and they’re all cartoony…but she’s sort of really turned on by that and by me sort of being like that.

I’m naked now and I’m getting so hot and flushed under my skin as I’m feeing Kaylee’s raw want of me, the way she see’s me sexually and I want to sort of squirm, be soft, be hers…bite my lip and be vulnerable.

And when her lips go over the tip I cry out… “Kaylee….” Breathlessly and grab my breasts and feel…squeeze and drag the pads of my fingers over my nipples.

She likes that she really likes me doing that.

God it feels awesome, and I feel so sexual in a way I never had and sort of out of control needing her touch and her to guide me through it…it this what it’s like from the other side of things, that dizzy, happy, breathless funny sexy feeling.

Kaylee’s feeling me? I think because she sort of gets this look in her eyes of hunger and want and she kind of sinks further down onto me while staring at me and watching me as I move. Taking me in this really good way, this kind of right feeling way that makes me feel wanted and…even though I’m not a girl I’m feeling sexy and desirable like one.

I’m so not Dylan the cocky guy getting his rod polished…no…right now she’s that, while she’s doing stuff to my pole that’s making me dance and shimmy and move on my bed…and I swear…no I know that she likes it.

And it takes very little more for her to bring me to orgasm. “Kaylee, Kaylee, oh Kayleeeee…!” I swear my voice gets into the whole female range of crying out and I can feel her swallowing my offerings.

I’m panting and gripping and playing with my breasts because it feel so good and it’s increasing that sex buzz and she slips off of me and smiles in this hawt so sexy way. “Oh…Oh wow Dylan…”

“Huh…?” My brain needs to catch up with my body.

“Yum.”

“Yum?”

“Yeah.” Kaylee sort of purrs it.

“Really?” Because y’know I’ve always only heard the ick factor thing.

Maybe I taste different now?

“Yes really…oh you’re still up for more?”

“Uhm yeah…definitely, you’re so beautiful it’s hard not to be hard with you.” Oh that was lame and I’m blushing.

And it’s not like that I can tell her that it’s part of me being an alien that now that I’m all worked up I stay up just like girls can keep going too when they’re in the zone.

Oh sports analogy there is some guy brain still semi-functioning there somehow.

Kaylee smiles and she reaches down and get my pants and she digs out the box of condoms I have and takes one out tearing it open with her teeth.

“Oh…that was hot…”

“Thank you I’m trying.”

“Succeeding.”

Then the next thing I know she’s putting a condom on me and I’m biting my lip and blushing because none of the other girls that I’ve been with have done that and it’s also still sort of very much feeling like I’m the girl in this in a way.

This is sort of my redone virginity, I’ve never been with a girl since I’ve changed and I’m excited and nervous and scared but so turned on especially as she climbs into the bed with me and we start kissing again and there’s this taste on her lips that’s sweet and sort of has this almost minerally taste too cut with a hint of salt?

Oh my brain clicks into that and I’m…okay I’d be freaked out or starting too if Kaylee hadn’t ducked her head down and started to suck on my nipples and play and touch and cup my breasts.

Yeeeeeeee…

Wowsers…

Then she’s up and passionately kissing me again and she’s leaning right into me on top of me and her breasts are pressed into mine and oh she’s so doing this on purpose because her hands are holding my side boobs just so and she moves grinds back and forth and it’s her hard poking nipples being played over mine and I can feel the double sensation of her nerves and mine and it’s so erotic and powerful it’s making me dizzy and right near having another orgasm and it’s taking all my Sh’uan control to keep from doing that and it actually hurts but it kind of hurts good too after a few minutes.

It’s such a pleasure pain thing…I was never really…Oh I wonder if this is a girl thing or a me thing…I manage a. “Mmm…more…Harder Kaylee…Harder…”

And silly me I thought I knew what sex and breasts was all about…I will never look at a set of breasts in the same way again considering that I know now what this feels like…

She arches up and she shoves her breast in my face and my mouth and I latch on…literally using a schupp of an inhale to sort of latch onto her because she’s moving and once the nipple is there I suck on it and put a good amount of force behind it too…

Like sucking from one of those Mc Donald’s hurt your lungs trying shakes.

And a few in my mouth licks on the pointy yay happy bit in my mouth and so trying to picture it too like I’m licking her clitty ant the same time and she kinda sorta headlocks me to her boob and she shivers.

“D..dd..Dylan!” She screamed it out loud as she has a violent orgasm…like she heats up with an all over flush and she breaks out in sweat and she shivers and she shakes pressed against me.

I can feel the force and the pleasure of it…Oh holy…I think I need to pull things in mentally…I…okay she’s kissing me and she’s sucking on my tongue only in her feelings it’s not my tongue it my cock only it’s not just my cock but it’s a…

And Kaylee squeezes and kneads my boobs and thumbs over my nipples and what control over holding back evaporates and I arch my back shove my chest harder into her hands and whine around the kiss as I have my second mind numbing orgasm.

We’re both panting and I’m sweating now too and she looks down our bodies. “Did you?”

“Oh yeah…hard…”

“Dylan you’re still hard are…did you take anything?”

“No…maybe it’s me being part girl…?” Hey it’s partly true.

“Oh wow really…”

I just nod and suck air and give her what sure seems like a silly smile…Kaylee smiles back and me and scooches back and grabs another condom…peels me out of the first one and she gives me this look and she goes down and she licks me clean with all these “Mmmm yummy…” sounds.

It’s driving me nuts since it doesn’t hurt to be hard this long for some reason I’m thinking might be biological but when a guy gets off his penis can get all like sensitized and stuff…way, way more than before actually.

Oh god she has me to the point of I need to play with my breasts some more…I love my boobs, I really love my boobs, having boobs on my own and sex too is so….

It’s so chocolate and peanut butter.

Then Kaylee is up again and kissing me and we’re boob mashing rub-humping? I mean it’s like boob on boob sex or nipple-frenching?

And the kissing with the tongue.

I laugh in a snort breaking the kiss giggling.

Kaylee looks at me shocked. “What…?”

I’m still laughing but I grab her boobs too and lean up and rub too.

“I was thinking in my head about us and the kissing with the tongue.”

“Okay…”

“And the with the tongue part replayed in my head as Jerry Lewis.”

“Who?”

“Professor Frink?”

“Who?”

“The scientist on The Simpsons.”

“Oh…dork.” She kisses me again.

And there it is this is why things are so different, making love and talking too and joking with her and feeling not just the heat and the passion but genuine fondness and friendship too.

I will never ever regret me and Kaylee being together.

Kaylee deepens her kissing and we get more and more into the breast on breast thing both of us holding the other and moving together and it’s so amazing and erotic and Lesbian Lucky Charms…so magically delicious.

“Dylan…Dylan now…”

“Now?”

“Now…”

“Shit the baby is coming?”

“No!” She slaps my side.

I grin and I lean up and I kiss her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes….” Oh she does this sexy hiss gasp thing.

“Okay…”

We look at each other and it’s sort of this who’s on top thing between us and then she has this so smoking hawt serious look on her face and she reaches down between us and her fingers touch me and guide me to her sex….

I bite my lower lip and I’m ready, achingly ready again but at the same time she’s a virgin and I can feel that too and there’s that whole thing of her hymen breaking that’s sort of dancing between us with my empathy.

I look her in the eyes and inch in literally and she inches down too.

We both exhale and then inhales as the sensations hit us…both of us staring into each others eyes and we slowly move…just a bit it but getting her used to it and it’s not like before at all either.

I am entering being taken inside and enveloped but more that that I am being allowed, wanted needed even to be part of her…and more than that it feels like she’s becoming a part of me too…

It’s more of a deep down emotion for me and not something I’m picking up but it’s way more personal…they way that I’m feeling about myself there is more personal, it’s not the whole swaggering guy part that it used to be.

No I haven’t shrunk or anything like that but it’s not the ego thing that it was. Now it’s way more of something that leads me into a deeper connection with my lovers. And I’m not meaning it pun-wise either but it’s like this almost female or maybe it’s again this natural Sh’uan reaction now to sex.

It just the way I honestly think that my brain is processing this now.

It’s way more frigging personal and it’s way more vulnerable and scary but at the same time there’s never been this kind of feelings with it too.

And then there’s the point were we move more and more and we pop through with each other and I can feel the pain…it’s this snap pop ow like a deep fast pinch, a hard pinch inside and this…this I use my powers for…I move with her but I close my eyes and I concentrate on me inside of her but that movement, me in her moving is like kind soothing rubbing touches soothing the ache and the ow inside of her.

I smile and open my eyes as I hear her make this sweet little sigh.

She’s riding and moving now and I am too and she’s so amazingly beautiful that I’m kind of entranced by the way she looks and moves the little sheen of her sweat and the flush in her skin making her have that so natural and super sexy glow that woman have and it’s just amazing…even more so when she has an orgasm and this time, this time since I’m paying so much attention I can feel the bloom in her body of her energies.

So…amazing…it’s kind of like this heart light E.T. thing but not and as pretty as a flower could ever be.

I get lost in the moment and just the magical way that she looks and feels and in how happy and a perfect moment that this is.

Then I slide sort of out of the awareness fantasy thing and into the reality of things. I can feel it…Kaylee’s clit as hard as I am and through the condom even and it’s touching me while I’m inside her wet, slick muscles…it’s this hard nib but soft as silk too and it’s like the tracing up and down of this super sexy finger tip feeling.

Oh I’m so not fucking her but it’s so the other way around at this point.

And I reach up to cup and cradle and play with her breasts as she is doing that to me and she does the same to me as she comes down for kisses.

Then more breast pressed to breast, nipples gliding and rubbing over nipples until I’m crying out her name again and a gain and she’s doing the same and we lock up and seal together as I flex inside her and she clenches around me and the heat increases and her insides flutter around me.

I know it was a good long time that we made love after that point and Kaylee on top and then us rolling over so it’s me on top and it really never changed anything…well it changed some things but it still didn’t I moved and slid inside of her and out steady sweetly falling into her and…

We ended up with one condom left and we just can’t anymore…just I am exhausted not tire but exhausted and aching from all the things we did in that just got done a serious work out way.

It’s really only the after glow that has us not in discomfort I think and being that tired.

But the flood of so much post sex hormones and just the fact that we’re where we’re at in our relationship just takes the way it feels when we’re done and we snuggle up together so much better.

“Kaylee…”

“Mmmm?”

“Thank you…that was so…”

She kisses me sleepily but still lovingly and long and deeply before settling in breasts together just off set and she puts her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, it so was Dylan.”

It’d have been a bit jarring to feel that she didn’t say that she loved me but she sort of does and at the same time she’s not ready either…and there was still something sort of missing to her no matter how amazing this was and she’s not going to voice that she wishes that she could…that I had…

What we just had was good and I knew the score before we got that close…she still wants a real girl, she loves me in that deeply cares for me friends with benefits way but yeah.

My girlfriend is a lesbian.

And sometimes having alien powers can suck.

*Cheyenne……….

Sigh…

And that’s why we are what and who we are.

I lower the blocking around Dylan’s tent trailer and put my lacrima sphere back into my backpack. I had to use it to get the range to block Dylan and Kaylee’s night from the others. Dylan’s not at the point where they can control themselves enough during the heat of things.

If I hadn’t everyone here tonight would have been getting busy no matter if they were with someone or alone.

I was sooo tempted too do that too…I was feeling the brunt of the stuff going on in there and I definitely was identifying with Kaylee.

I’m Tuani, so I’m very much by instinct male like, even in my build so when she was on top and they were doing that breast on breast thing and having sex I so wanted to be there instead and be the one sinking and rising with Dylan making love like the waves of the ocean.

Oh I could go on but I really don’t want to go there right now and just add to the energy and empathic confusion that’s floating around the place right now.

I should get some sleep…my back is sore from sitting there leaning against the tent trailer for four and a half hours. It’s really, really late and dawn’s just a few hours off.

Instead I actually head to their made over old garage and I take a long hot shower while everyone’s asleep still and the hot water will recover and I do up all of my laundry too while I’m at it and hang it out to dry on the clotheslines and then I get some towels and one of those orange mesh big bags that they have oranges in by bulk and I head down to the beach and go for a swim at dawn.

My senses hit be with that tingle flare as the sun is hitting everything and I can feel life waking up, it’s the plants first…normally you can’t feel plant life unless you’re born with a really strong affinity for them but at first light when photosynthesis kicks in it’s such a reaction that you can’t help but to feel it and then there the light of heaven reaction with it.

That’s the energy created when the radiation from the sun reacts on the basest level with the elements in the sea…it’s that primal thing that started life on the planet really and yes it is continual and still going on…it’s this little note…like light sang just once and then it fades into the rest of the feeling of life in the world.

All of it lasts a minute maybe two but it’s the most amazing thing and it’s to us sort of like prayer.

Plugged into “The force” if you will.

I swim and when I feel what I want I focus and take a few breaths…we call this silver breath or silver breathing and we are taught as Tuani to feel the way oxygen is to our bodies and usually that’s with a dive tank so we learn what it feels like to have our bodies filled with more oxygen sort of saturating it…okay for a short time not something you want to do for too long or too often and yes we do use it in battle.

Or countering smoke or gasses if we have prep time…I saturate my blood and take a deep breath and I dive…like this with the levels in my blood and skin diving I can last close to eight minutes down here at a time.

That’s actually more than enough time to go fishing for lobsters.

I find them by homing in on them and it’s not cheating since I’m using a natural sense just as valid as echo-location is. I grab them one at a time and it might sound cruel but the claws come off first right there in the water so I can fit more into the bag and so I don’t get pinched either.

I might be Tuani but they can still hurt me, I have advantages but I’m just as vulnerable as other people.

A dozen mid sized ones fill the bag and I swim into shore and I towel off and head to the main house.

People mostly the older people are starting to wake up and I have the grill on and I’m cooking. A knife through the brain kills them and they go into the microwave in the house just long enough to semi steam them with their own juices.

I separate some eggs and I start cleaning the lobsters and making a large amount of lobster omelettes. Egg white and the meat from the lobster and just some white pepper and some red sweet bell pepper and that’s it I want the lobster to finish cooking along with the egg and to be the big flavor there.

I boil the bodies in some milk while doing some of the other stuff and make sure to get all the roe and the tomali out of them and into the milk and cook it down and then I add just a bit of tarragon and then whisk the egg yolks in and some real butter and a bit of lemon and sort of make a kind of really lobstery-buttery sauce to go with it.

I’m getting looks and smiles and even a few hugs as I pass out the food…a pair of hot biscuits and some sauce, then the omelette on that then some more of the sauce over that and some crumbled crispy bacon.

And I made coffee, tea and juice.

Dylan’s Dad is eating and looking at me.

“This is really good I didn’t know you could cook.”

“I learned at home, my parents think that if you own cook books that they might as well be another kind of textbook.”

“That’s not a bad idea, but where did you get the lobsters?”

“I free dove them.”

“Really…I’ve never known anyone that could do that.”

I shrug and blush a little. “It’s my mother’s idea, she’s into hunting and foraging and that includes us knowing how to live off the water as much as the land.”

“Smart lady.”

My Mother’s a Tuani like me and while she is a nice person she’s definitely Tuani and she knows the whole deal with us being here, she was three when we crossed over from our world and she grew up on the move hiding and living on this earth until we found our place to settle.

“She’s…she’s Sarah Connor actually.” …….if she was an off dimension alien with psychic powers.

He laughs and I see Jax there or who Jax might be in like thirty years and I smile as I see him looking groggy and I go over and pass him a coffee.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, she stay over?’

“Yeah…”

I make him two plates of the breakfast and some toast with cinnamon and sugar on it and her a coffee with sugar cubes on the side but some half and half in it since most people will have milk or cream in their coffee like close to seventy percent or some thing.

He blinks at me.

“Uhm…”

“Just go while it’s hot and make a good impression you have a reputation to keep up.”

“And what’s that?”

“That you’re a decent guy for a hound dog.”

He blushes and he smiles too and he feels a bit confused by me actually doing this like a friend but not like his guys friends, most guys wouldn’t be bothered but I’m neither…I’m Tuani.

I grin and make a few more to order and it feels good to sort of get enveloped by this family and the fact that…yeah I’m strange and different and they don’t care and just like me anyways.

These are good people here.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-30

Previously…

“Kaylee…”

“Mmmm?”

“Thank you…that was so…”

She kisses me sleepily but still lovingly and long and deeply before settling in breasts together just off set and she puts her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, it so was Dylan.”

It’d have been a bit jarring to feel that she didn’t say that she loved me but she sort of does and at the same time she’s not ready either…and there was still something sort of missing to her no matter how amazing this was and she’s not going to voice that she wishes that she could…that I had…

What we just had was good and I knew the score before we got that close…she still wants a real girl, she loves me in that deeply cares for me friends with benefits way but yeah.

My girlfriend is a lesbian.

And sometimes having alien powers can suck.

And Now…………..

If I wasn’t actually sore and tired and drained I probably wouldn’t have slept at all after feeling what I felt with Kaylee. God that just sucks y’know. I mean I know in my head that my heart was more into Cheyenne than her but I really still wanted this and wanted to give us…a chance.

I was even that into it that part of me really wanted it because for all that Kaylee is a lesbian or a bi-leaning lesbian she’s still normal and normal is so special right now.

Morning almost makes me want to cry.

I love it…I do I feel the world have that burst of waking up and it’s amazing but it’s also right now this clear defining thing of just how different I am from everyone but Shy.

And Shy is amazing but she’s scary too.

I dozed just from being tired after the life song slipped into the back ground of the world and I stay there awhile until I can’t sleep very more and I watch her sleep.

I touch her and feel.

She doesn’t regret it but…

But I’m not what she actually needs even if she’s not admitting that to herself yet.

I’m really leery of doing this but I focus on that thought that feeling inside her and I just quiet down the rest of her thoughts until that’s there more.

God should I have even?

But I’m not forcing things, I’m just pointing it out to her a bit more of what she’s already feeling.

I love her too I mean Kaylee has been such an amazing person to me during all of this and I want her to be happy and stuff and she won’t be happy with me.

So I need to let her go and it’ll just be better if we do this as friends maybe…better if this was her idea.

I feel so off doing this to someone though.

I wipe at my eyes a little and lay back down and agonize over what I just did and if it was right or if I just like feeling assaulted her and I pull my pillow down over my eyes and I guy breathe through the tears to keep from sobbing.

I’m just getting that under control when I hear Kaylee. “Dylan? What’s wrong?”

I let her pull the pillow away and I look at her and she’s looking at me and…ow…ow…ow…fuck she’s looking at me like she’s the one who’s feeling guilty.

“Nothing just…God Kaylee I just made a mistake.”

“I….Actually Dylan I think that was me…”

Ow…ow…ow…no…

“Kaylee…I…”

She reaches out and she puts a finger over my lips and she leans over and kisses me there too and a few tears fall from her eyes.

(Sniffle.) “No…Look Dylan I love you, I do but I haven’t really been fair to you. I’ve loved being by you through all of this and I will always love our times we had this summer but it’s not fair…I was using you to try and figure out my sexuality.”

“I know…you told me...but Kaylee.”

“Yes god Dylan you have an amazing butt.”

“I’m trying to be serious Dammit!” (Sniffle.) I rub at my eyes. “Effing estrogen…”

“I’m trying to be serious too…I…I…I’m so glad that you’re my first Dylan I want that to be clear I will love you forever for being that for me but…”

I sigh and rest my arm on my forehead. “You just know that you’re into real girls.”

She looks down and blushes. “Yeah…and you’re awesome and hell you’re beautiful and stuff but that…that other part of you just isn’t for me.”

“It’s more than the part right?”

She smiles at me. “No, it’s not your dick Dylan…honestly I’m not sure it was anything but a good experience but it the other stuff.”

“That I’m still a guy despite all of this…”

She nods. “Actually yeah…I mean it’s…you’re so hot but at the same time even when you’re struggling with this you’re still a guy and as much as you’ve changed over the summer it’s just…”

“Not what you’re looking for?’

She slips out of my bed. “Yeah and I can’t even say that it’s any one thing really it’s just there are times when I am really into you and then there’s other times you just feel like a guy and…and I mean I don’t hate guys…but they just…it’s just too alien for me?”

I bite my lip on what I could say to that and just nod.

She takes it as another kind of gesture entirely.

She looks at me. “You get it? Are we good?”

I can feel that’s important to her.

(Sniffle.) “Yeah we’re good.”

“Okay, I’m going to go and shower and stuff. Uhm how do you want to tell you’re mom?”

“I’ll talk to mom it’ll be okay.”

“Say’s you she’ll beat me.”

“No she won’t.”

Kaylee smiles at me and waggles her eyebrows. “You want to share a shower?”

“Kaylee…really? I mean we just kind of broke up.”

“Yeah but I don’t mind it there and…”

“And what?”

“You’ve got excellent boobs.”

“Kaylee Jeeze! No!”

She grins and she heads out and I lay there for awhile trying to get a grip on myself. She feels okay…and I know that’s what she was feeling anyway but did I do the right thing? Or was it a bad thing to do?

I need to talk to Cheyenne about this. I mean she has a whole other morality about this and stuff and Jax seemed fine and stuff and I guess I need to get my head around what I am.

Okay…

Okay…

I get up and I head to the main house where they’re making breakfast and stuff and I see Shy hanging with my family and I smell lobster?

For breakfast?

I get closer and Shy looks at me and there’s this sort of sympathetic look there like she knows. Well she likely did. I mean she’s has to have miles more sensitivity than me right she was born into our culture and taught.

Mom looks at me and she get’s this look and I can feel her just get this feeling in her stomach that she knows Kaylee and I went sideways.

She brings me a coffee. “You okay?”

“Yeah and no.”

“What happened?”

“Kaylee and I made love and we realized something while we did it.”

“What?”

“She’s a lesbian and I’m too much of a guy for her really.”

“Too much of a guy?” I can feel her mad and at the same time she’s trying to wrap her head around it and the whole Kaylee being a lesbian thing too.

I can’t help it.

I am still too much of a guy not to smart off and she’s just taking a drink of her coffee and I take a drink of mine. “Yeah, my dick’s too big I think I broke her.”

She spit sprays her coffee and coughs a few times. “Dylan!”

Jax is laughing his ass off like I though he would and dad’s covering his amusement with his hand a second and he coughs at me. “That’s twenty dollars.”

It broke everything up and I grin a little sheepishly. “Done it was worth it.”

There’s this sort of feeling though that as much as I’ve changed that was still the real me smarting off just like I used to and that’s good from what I feel and I look at Cheyenne.

“Can we talk?”

Mom looks at me as dad’s passing her a towel. “You two are not hooking up you got that! Dylan you’re not going through three girls this summer.”

“Mom!”

I turn red and Shy nods and gets a plate of whatever and takes me by the hand. “Sure…let’s go where we can just sit and talk.”

We leave but pass Kaylee who’s biting her lip and heading towards the house for her own breakfast.

Hoo-boy I can feel mom revving up even as Shy’s leading me away.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-31

Chapter 31

*Serra…………

My head is fuzzy and my lungs hurt.

Damned tranq-gas, it’s pretty strong stuff…it leaves this heavy burned feeling in my lungs like I was drinking and chain smoking all night.

Dylan…Stevie….

Okay, time to get up and get myself together.

I heave myself up and the guards move. My cell has motion detectors and they’re all nerved up and hate filled.

I’m this dangerous animal, a freak…I’m a Tuani and while female I’m more man than most of them here and that basic threat just gets them pissed off.

They’re wearing the helmets. They’re like a shield that makes electromagnetic interference that blurs then out except for the strongest things that they feel.

If I was Shuan like Stevie then maybe I could do more with that but I can’t so I’m working internally.

Yes I’m still working.

My people have a saying they even have it here knowledge is power. Home to really be a Tuani you need to study, learn and understand biology.

Especially your own.

It’s been so slow but it’s getting there. I’m recovering faster and faster from the stuff. Like most drugs and toxins over time people get a tolerance built up. Me I’m actively teaching that to my body.

Like I’m learning other tricks.

I might not be able to effect then, to nuance their feelings but I can and am getting better at feeling those helmet shields they’re wearing. I have been trying to reach through then long enough that it has become a sensation I’m used to.

I still really can’t feel them unless they’re spiking but I can feel that frizzle, so that means I’ll be able to track them and how they move.

The rest of it is meditation when I can and honing my skills my powers on the inside of me.

Like what?

Fat burning…we’re taught things like to try and alter our metabolisms and our circadian rhythms and stuff since we’re young.

But why fat burning? I need to get it down to where I can get a supply of it in my body charged if you will to burn off fast inside of me to keep me going when I make my move...fat’s a slow thing meant to let you survive in lean times I need to use my powers to try and make it work a lot more like a gas tank.

That’s really a lot harder than it even sounds.

I get up and stare at them all trying to put as much presence into that stare too. I want them unnerved, I want them to have a hard time looking me in the eyes and I want them to be scared of me.

Normally no, we try to stay under the radar absolutely as much as possible. But they’re not nice people…they make sure of that actually they hire from what I can tell some of the nastiest agents that they can find that make those bad guards down at Git-Mo look like pacifists.

Okay yes we know about that actually given computers and what we can do with leylines and things when we use our ways and technology we can tap into the planets and now these days thanks to the proliferation of cell towers and wireless we can tap into the internet and all the things that we need to while not actually being connected to it.

They’d have a bit more of a freak out with that little tidbit I think.

And no, I don’t know of anyone of my people that can do that cold. It takes things, loci and lacrima and things to focus and a leyline at the least to do that kind of thing.

Almost all of the Kini died making the crossing over.

I really, really wish that wasn’t the case…that some of that was still here, that I had a trace of it in my blood.

But life and what you wish for are very different things.

I look at each of my guards and I force a small smile of through the pain and I move like I’m not hurting all the way over to my bedroll futon thing on the floor and I sit down and I go cross legged and I stare at them.

Stare at them and I hit the floor…punching the concrete over and over staring.

Working.

Planning.

I will get out of here.

I will find my shuan my beloved and we will get out of here.

*Stevie…………

I wake feeling sick…too much too soon and it has just been piling up on me.

I roll over away from the wall and I just breathe the open air of the cell and look out through the glass at the guards that are there.

“Tommy can I get some Midol or something?”

The guard stops and he stares at me. “I’ll…I’ll ask.”

I sit and wait and wait until he comes back and Dr. Armbrewster is there with him.

“Good morning Number Six not felling well are we?”

“It’s Stevie Dr. Armbrewster please.”

“I think not.”

I sigh. “I don’t bite.”

“No you do much worse I’m afraid and I will not fall prey to being familiar with you Number Six.”

“Alright, hows Senator Dickenson is he in remission yet?”

“How did you?.....That’s classified.”

“Okay…I was just asking in case he needed another treatment.”

“You will treat only those people that we say that you can treat and when and how or you know what will happen.”

I sit up and regret it with the migraine that’s starting.

“Dr. Armbrewster I am a healer, I’m duty bound to do what I can to help people all people to the best of my ability threatening my people to get me to do it will not work.”

“It’s worked so far.”

I cross my arms under my breasts and stare at him. “It’s only worked because you’ve only brought me critically sick patients. By my own oaths I will do what I can to save them.”

“You and your people are dangerous manipulators and liars.”

“I do not lie.”

“That in itself is a lie Number six. You will not tell us where it is that you are hiding. A lie by omission is still a lie. If you have nothing to hide from us then why are you hiding.”

“Hitler and the Nazis said the same thing while seeking out the undesirables as they scoured Europe.”

“You know a lot about our history Number six.”

“I can read quite well Herr Doctor.”

“That’s not funny Number Six.”

“It amused me.”

“My point on your attitude, things will go a whole lot easier if you just co-operated.”

“I am co-operating; I’m helping the sick ones that you bring to me for healing. You might want to tell most of them to stop drinking and smoking and eating too excess and literally killing themselves and you might want to consider your own oaths as a doctor and if you cannot stop from playing your games with me and doing your tests then you could bring me some patients that actually deserve it.”

“I doing this for the good of my country, your people are a danger to it and one of them will break sooner or later.”

I laugh at him.

Ow…I shouldn’t have done that….the migraine spikes on me from doing that.

“That’s not funny Number Six.”

“It’s funny enough.”

“Why is it so funny?”

I look him in the eyes as best as I can with him wearing his dark goggles and all.

“My people do not give into terrorists.”

He looks angry and yet not as he takes a remote out and there’s a mist in my cell of water.

Oh hells.

His second touch of the remote and there are arcs of lightning like electricity coming off the floors and the walls and every thing and I’m too damp to be insulated by my bed roll.

Hurt…

I convulse and can taste some blood and feel my body convulse and twist as I scream.

And scream.

Now the bastard’s smiling.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-32

*Before…

I look at Cheyenne.

“Can we talk?”

Mom looks at me as dad’s passing her a towel. “You two are not hooking up you got that! Dylan you’re not going through three girls this summer.”

“Mom!”

I turn red and Shy nods and gets a plate of whatever and takes me by the hand.

“Sure…let’s go where we can just sit and talk.”

We leave but pass Kaylee who’s biting her lip and heading towards the house for her own breakfast.

Hoo-boy I can feel mom revving up even as Shy’s leading me away.

*And Now…

To say I’m feeling nervous is an understatement. I mean I can sort of see where Shy knew that this was coming but she let me get here in my own way.

So how do I start?

We walk all the way over to the edge of the lawn and the last of our picnic tables. I sit with my things and she does the same. It’s so odd watching Cheyenne move really…she swings her leg and kind of plants herself like Jax would but is still girl enough to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She looks at me and picks up her fork. “Are you okay?”

“Me…yes, no…but you knew that this was going to happen right?”

“Yes, I was pretty sure that this was going to happen. Kaylee felt like she was gay.”

“But she was still just experimenting.”

“Yes but you were sort of being an axis point in her sexuality.”

“Huh?” Yeah I’m not all that up on stuff with our kind.”

“You two liked each other and were friends and that’s good but as you started changing and coming into being you, you picked up on her empathically and it kind of altered you a little.”

“Altered me!?”

“No not physically that’s still all you but you picked up a whole lot more on stuff she liked, on the more female side of things than you are normally.”

“So…?”

“So basically you picked up on relationship and behavioral stuff that was in line with her likes and wants it’s actually a shuani thing.”

“Oh…will it wear off? I mean I didn’t notice it.”

“It will but I’ll do a cleanse with you if you want.”

“Uhm yeah I want a cleanse?”

“It’s like cleansing you out of things that you’ve absorbed in.”

“Okay, I get that part but like just what?”

“You keep senses that are memory based important but we also pick up lots of background stuff too. It’s like noise pollution only its psionic and it’s latent stuff that builds up.”

“Oh…like plaque?”

“Actually yeah kind of like or too much junk on your computer it slows you down and messes with your abilities….actually this should be something we should definitely do today just because you’ve started being your real sex outwardly doesn’t mean that you haven’t been drawing all this stuff in before that.”

“Really?”

She sighs. “Yes and I keep forgetting things like how you weren’t raised in a shielded community or even raised with all the stuff that’s possible.”

“Oh and that’s bad?”

“Yes, no actually I don’t know but culturally you’ve never seen a psionic society so you have no expectations of what is possible and what you or I could do. There’s a lot that you would have just picked up living back home that I’ve been sort of taking for granted.”
“So I have a lot of catching up to do then?”

“Yes and no, you’re idea with the way that you came up with blocking yourself it was so fast and so easy that I think most of us would have missed it.”

“Really?”

“Yes, honestly Dylan my biggest gut feeling is to maybe guide you through things but to not lay a whole lot of my preconceptions on you about how we do things at home.”

“But you’re still going to teach me the cleansing thing?”

“Yes because that’s something you really should need to learn how to do.”

We start eating and I’m still thinking of stuff but mostly Shy and me and me and Kaylee and that’s something I really like about Cheyenne is that I know that she knows and can feel stuff and she doesn’t press instead she eats and just is…

It’s like she’s focusing on the food but in a really good way like she’s enjoying it and that helps me enjoy mine but it’s also pretty soothing.

“Shy?”

“Yes?”

“Is there a lot of domestic fights back where you’re from?”

“Oh yes, we’re just like everyone else except for Tuan and Shuan because of our abilities our power can deflate most things with our empathic connection but when we do have then look out because it gets really bad.”

“Really bad?”

“Picture all the negative emotions literally being pushed back at you by your S.O. with their powers so all of the stuff that is really felt in anger or hurt is really getting blasted at you.”

“Oh…oh that would suck.”

She nods. “It’s why we usually have polyarmoric relationships.”

“What!?”

“When you’re like us sometimes you need someone that can’t fire back at you or be in your head like you can be in theirs. Actually the whole maid of honor and best men counterparts in our marriages are those people and more than one S&T marriage has been saved by our beloved’s because of the two of the others being psitarded.”

Okay I kind of snort at that part. I look at her and ask. “So how do you deal with a fight like that?”

“It’s hard depending on the skill or raw powers of the people in the fight and personal histories but you have to remember that these are feelings in the heat of the moment.”

“But if they hate you…?”

“Then right at that moment they did…and that’s healthy, people are a mixture of all things both light and dark and it comes out when fights happen just like the positive ones do in the good times. It’s when stuff gets sat on and allowed to fester that things get really bad because one person fires off and the other returns fire and it can just loop and feed each other.”

“But…oh man that just sounds intense.”

“It is intense Dylan we’re powerful psychics and empaths our whole lives are intense for good or for bad.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal…I mean this whole thing with me and Kaylee really sucked.”

“It did but think of it this way, you were her first and you were a good first and she didn’t go through something traumatic or just shitty getting to figure out who she really is. That’s a Shuani thing, it’s a part of that whole deal which healing and peace and community.”

“Healing and peace and community…me?”

Shy points her fork at me. “Yes you, and even if it was you and Kaylee not working out you likely saved her a whole lot of heartache and confusion and soul searching.”

“I did, I mean us not working out’s one thing.”

“Dylan when you felt her get to that point of realizing that you just weren’t for her it resonated through you and yes it hurt but when you accepted the reality of what she felt you pulled her along too. I can look over at her and I can feel it, she’s very sure of whole she is.”

“Really?’

Cheyenne nods. “Really and I would actually say that she has a type and she might be partial to girls that remind her of you.”

“Okay…that’s a bit much…”

Cheyenne smiles at me and I blink because I can feel the sexy-playful coming from her and its pretty damned sexy as feelings go… “I would if it was me Dylan.”

Okay I’m seriously blushing now.

I bite my lip and smile and we finish eating together then we walk back to where everyone else is at and I look at Mom and Kaylee and they seem okay…well I can feel mom doesn’t like what happened between us and at the same time there’s some lingering feelings of…

Oh…oh she knows I took Kaylee’s virginity.

Yeah one look in Mom’s eyes and I know she knows and I can just imagine the conversation after that one.

I look at both of them. “Are we all good here?”

Kaylee nods. “I think so I’m going to get my things ready.”

She leaves and mom looks at me. “How are you good with this?”

“I’m not Mom but at the same time Kaylee’s been up front with me and we had a great time dating and me being a lesbian sort of with her kind of let me sort of safely jump into my own deep end with things too…we’re friends still and I’d rather honestly that I was with her than some guy that she wouldn’t have wanted really touching her for her first time…I wasn’t it…that’s cool but now she knows and I’m cool with that.”

Mom looks at me. “Okay, that’s kind of what she said but longer…it’s just I’m just scared you’re hurting more than you’re letting on.”

“Honestly we are mom, we’re just faking the break up hurts because we know we’re not for each other and it’s easier to cry about the almost alone and not wreck our friendship my guilting the crap out of each other.”

She shakes her head again and gets up from her seat and heads to the coffee. “You guys hook up way too fast and stuff these days for me. And you’re acting too grown up about this…”

“Cheyenne’s helped a lot just spent time talking it out and…”

“And…?”

“I knew it really might be coming or well going to end up this way.”

“And you still slept with her?’

“Yes and it was still amazing…but it still just wasn’t what she needs.”

“Oh Honey…”

Mom comes over and she hugs me and I hug her back and it’s kind of such an odd thing she feels better knowing that I’m not totally alright with this. It’s like she was looking for permission to “Mom” me.

“Thanks Mom, this really helps.”

She smiles and lets me go and she leans down and she kisses my cheek. “Whenever and wherever you need me I’ll be there…I’m your mom.”

“Definitely, no matter what.”

She heads off and Shy and I do the same and we’re getting lunches and stuff ready and so is everyone else for another day of raking blueberries. Summer’s almost over and this is one of those last big things to get some spending money for all of us.

I look over at Shy. “So…the cleanse?”

“C’mon we’ll do it now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, it doesn’t take that long but we should go down to the water to do it.”

“Why?”

“We’re life receptive, there’s so much life in the ocean that it amplifies our powers somewhat.”

“Oh…”

We head down and we just sort of wade about calf deep in the water and Cheyenne looks at me.

“Okay, this is just like breathing and meditating only you inhale…and as you do you feel the new breath, the new life and energy it provides your body coming in….hold it…and as you do and you feel the strain in your body as the air is running out and getting bad you picture inside of you all the things that you have inside of you clogging you up coming off of you like steam…and exhale it all out and release it…another breath…hold…and like steam…that incoming air and life it brings is refreshing and washing it all out of you and just like air it goes to all the cells…and exhale…”

Cheyenne has me do that for five minutes or so and I can honestly say with her talking and her guiding me with her feelings of things because she’s done that it’s kind of like that…like I’m washing things inside my psyche out and clear with each breath.”

By the time I’m done I feel…I feel different better but…

Like I ran awhile and got all sweaty and just had a great shower and a good release cry at the same time.

I look at Cheyenne.

I extend my hand and she takes it and we head up the beach path and back to the others.

Not needing words for how just good and thank you I’m feeling right now.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-33

Chapter 33

*Before…

“Okay, this is just like breathing and meditating only you inhale…and as you do you feel the new breath, the new life and energy it provides your body coming in….hold it…and as you do and you feel the strain in your body as the air is running out and getting bad you picture inside of you all the things that you have inside of you clogging you up coming off of you like steam…and exhale it all out and release it…another breath…hold…and like steam…that incoming air and life it brings is refreshing and washing it all out of you and just like air it goes to all the cells…and exhale…”

Cheyenne has me do that for five minutes or so and I can honestly say with her talking and her guiding me with her feelings of things because she’s done that it’s kind of like that…like I’m washing things inside my psyche out and clear with each breath.”
By the time I’m done I feel…I feel different better but…
Like I ran awhile and got all sweaty and just had a great shower and a good release cry at the same time.
I look at Cheyenne.
I extend my hand and she takes it and we head up the beach path and back to the others.
Not needing words for how just good and thank you I’m feeling right now.

*And Now…

It’s such a different and cleaner feeling too as I head back and I swear that I can even smell things a little differently?

“It’s you sensory short term.” Shy says.

“My what?”

“When you cleanse you still know what you know only you cleared to recent memory of it.”

“Oh so this is why it feels like this?’

“Yep it’ll fade though like when you feel the dawn.”

“I’m still getting used to that too.”

“You won’t when you open yourself to the sunlight waking the world it’s something that never changes.”

“It kind of makes me sad though.”

“Oh?” Shy looks over at me and it’s this kind and sweet expression there.

“We’re destroying the planet.”

She nods. “Again…” There’s something else there too.

“What?”

“It’s a big thing back home and in other colonies.”

“What is?”

“Allowing humanity to do the same thing all over again?”

“Oh…like the prime directive?”

Shy nods. “There are some that think that we should influence how this world runs, to direct mankind to a less destructive path.”

“And you?”

“No…I think that we need to stay out of it because the temptations will be far too tempting even for us…we’re not that much different than anyone else.”

I nod and think for a minute as we get to my tent-trailer. “I couldn’t let that happen…I’d have to fight something like that if it did happen.”

Cheyenne nods. “And I’ll be right beside you.”

I…I… I step over and I give her a light kiss. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

I head inside and get my things for the last day of raking and stop and I change into a sports bra…I don’t want to fight with them right now and we meet up with the others and get in our vehicles and we head out to the last field that we’ll be working. I’m thinking about all of this and how much my world has changed and might change and stuff I literally am just winging it.

I mean how will all of this affect everything else?

School?

My life?

I mean I’m now part of something that’s so huge it’s impossible to get my head around it all. It’s kind of scary too.

And that’s something that I’m still dealing with, hormones and being afraid in different ways than before and part of me is trying to figure out that if it’s actual changes or if I’m picking up impressions of me through other people or I’m just doing it myself because of my own social expectations of me changing and the ideas of it being stuck in my head from all the gender stuff I was raised with?

I look at Cheyenne. “I might need some time today just to have some space to think okay?”

I flicker my block and she nods. “Good idea, I mean you just broke things off with Kaylee.”

I know they get what I meant and stuff but we’re not alone in the car so it works.

I offer them a smile though as we are all getting out and getting our things and stuff and I go and get a rake and my bag with my water and stuff in it and then get some buckets and some flats and head off to the rows.

We’re at the Stevens plots today another one of those families that does berries here and they sell mostly local so they always use rakers over the harvester machines that and they’re an old school family and they hire the kids like me as a matter of like pride and stuff.

Mind you there’s still money in it…they’ll take their berries back to the shipping barns and they’ll dump them on a mesh belt and there’s blowers and they have people that pick out the squishy ones and then they’ll put then in those tiny little plastic boxes and sell them for a lot more that what they paid you for.

But they actually pay pretty well for raking compared to some people. There’s raking home too but the ones that hire rakers put them in the kinds of places they’re growing that you really can’t run a harvester tractor.

Blueberries when you rake then usually are strung off into rows with plain white string so it like lets you keep track of how you harvest the field. And when you rake by the flat like I do it’s just easier to get two rows and pull out that middle string. Most rows are just a pain in the ass when it comes to going back and forth a double row you can still manage pretty good and you don’t have to move all over hell because your next row is really far away because of other rakers.

I wet down my hair and adjust my band on my hat to be snug so I don’t have to mess with my hair and I take out some sun screen and put that on and the I tale some veg-oil and a paper towel and I clean and oil my rake.

That’s an old trick. Berries are juicy and they’re sticky no matter how you rake them and getting a sheen on the tines makes it actually easier to rake. You even get less leaves and twigs stuck in it.

I’m smiling though because this is the last of the fields and the best one actually and they save it for us kids and other rakers to pick.

It’s a nice little sea of berries.

I put on my sunglasses and turn on my mental blocking and then my I-pod and get to work.

The music helps because I’m listening to the stuff that I was always listening to and that kind of helps me shift into old Dylan head space and I go at it…not being stupid and pushing it to wear myself out but really putting a drive on because I want to feel that…that strain and the hard work and the stuff that I knew was me before all of this and stuff.

I don’t want to lose me.

If I’m changing, if I’m going to be maturing into a Shuan then I want to do this on my terms and not get drowned in that all the newness.

It feels off a little not feeling things like someone turning a radio off in your house that is usually left of. It’s that absence of background noise and at the same thing it’s just as soothing and relaxing once I’m able to be alone with my own thoughts.

There are things that are in control…I have put it out there with the whole Chimera thing and people know on my Facebook and stuff. People know the same thing here and with my family and all the people that they told.

I do have some control…just not a lot of control over the alien stuff.

I look over.

Well…that’s one of the reasons why Cheyenne’s in my life right now.

And I have to really deal with the them and us relationship thing and them and me as a sort of student thing.

We’ll sort of have to hash that out.

I needed this, to get back to Dylan and feeling a lot more like me than I have being. I look over to where Kaylee is and y’know even for how much I was swimming in her mentally and emotionally and stuff.

I really don’t regret it at all.

We’ll always have what happened and we’ll always be close it’s just we tried and it just didn’t work.

And I learned things about myself and my abilities too.

I watch some of the others just kind of drinking things in…it’s the last bit of the summer and by next week I’ll be home and going to school. That’s not a lot of time given we’ll have gone home a few days before and stuff.

So I’m smelling the roses as it were for a few minutes.

Then it’s back to work and I’m actually thinking about the last few days and stuff and making them memorable and I know there’s going to be a few parties and I’m trying to figure if I want to go any of them or have one myself or rather with me and the cousins and stuff and all our friends from around here and the other people that come here from other places too. There’s a bunch of us that aren’t locals but we’re annuals.

The raking, it’s actually going really well just great berries and careful but fast strokes…yes there’s wrist involved so the pun is there.

I empty my buckets for the last time and way Junior Stevens over to get them and he has a scale and a cart hooked to a lawn tractor and he weighs them out. The Stevens’s pay by the pound and he uses a red pen and marks the number in my card this time and he pulls away to get to someone else.

And it’s rake, dump, repeat move to new rows.

Sometimes I’ll help one of my cousins when my row is done and I’ll help them finish a row so they can move on with the rest of us that and if we can each fill our buckets and finish the row that that’s just one of those things that’s kind of perfect.

Not an OCD thing either almost every raker likes to finish a row with a full bucket. I think it’s a symmetry thing.

Cheyenne’s definitely skill felt things out and she’s been raking as good as the best rakers here in the field which is actually turning into a competition. It’s not a tomboy thing it’s this sort of alpha thing. I’d have said alpha male but she’s not a guy…well mostly.

There is that kinda feeling though that this is just one of those Tuan things.

It looks like Shy might have one of those couple of hundred dollar raking days.

I know it sounds like a lot but there are normal people here right in this same field that will do that too.

Me. I want to do well enough to top up my money reserves but I’ll not even get close. I move on and get some more rows and hunker down and work until they call lunch!

Lunch is awesome here with so many people and most of us knowing each other it kind of becomes a bit of a tailgating thing with a few little camp stoves out doing stuff like hot dogs and a few hibachi grills with burgers and stuff.

And there’s cold drinks and shade from the vehicles and shy and I meet up at the group for the burgers and we get several of them on paper plates. Mine has two patties and cheese-whiz some mustard and a lot of ketchup.

Cheyenne has pretty much the same but relish too and hot banana pepper slices and pickles on hers just piled and messy and it looks like she likes it that way.

“Messy burger?’

She grins mouth full of food and this happy I’m being fed smile and she eats that bite and takes another small one. “I love burgers, they’re all over the planet and they’re all different and all are usually pretty yummy unless it’s fast food.”

“I grew up with fast food you didn’t.”

“Nope, another reason I like it so much the closest thing I had like that was market street foods.”

“Like what?”

“Choripan, Pancho’s Chipa’s.”

“Huh?”

“Uhm…sausage sandwich kind of like a taco meets and empanada but not, another kind of hot dog and Chipa’s are kind of like a doughnut ball but made from cornbread and fried and have a hole in them sometimes so you can squeeze in cheese or jam or sauces…one of my favorites even if they’re kind of junky.”

“Junky can be good, those sound pretty Mexican.”

“South American…I lived about two months in Buenos Ares before I moved on.”

“Really what were you doing there?”

Seriously I’m curious because that’s….compared to New Jersey like the other side of the world to me.

“Getting trained and tutored.”

“Trained?”

“We have people that run training houses around the world and we use our abilities in these places to teach those of us that show up to these places things from there and how to pass for a local.”

“Oh…will I be going to one of those someday?”

“Probably, you’ll have to at least come to Santiago with me at some point.”

“Where?”

“Chile.”

“You live in Chile?”

“No, not really but it’s where we bring in new bloods.”

“New bloods?”

“People like you. A lot of our people went out of the colonies to live in the wider world some have had kids we try and bring them home if they call for it or like you turn out to be Shuan or Tuan and their powers start.”

“Oh…”

I head to Jax’s car after I eat my burgers and take my pop and Cheyenne joins me and he’s there with some girl and they’re listening to tunes and have the AC blasting away and I slip into the back seats laying down and reach out taking shy’s hand while I’m doing so and she joins me laying in the cool of the car.

We both let out an out of the heat and pleasantly full sigh and she wraps her arms around my waist and wriggles to get comfortable saying, “In the tradition of my peoples I recommend a siesta.”

Jax is like. “Agreed…Amy?”

She takes his jacket and wads it up like a pillow and shoots me a look and a little smile as she uses him as a pillow. “Definitely.”

I snuggle back against Cheyenne and whisper. “Tell me about Chile?”

She hugs me a little tighter and whispers in my ear. “I first went there when I was six….”

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-34

Chapter 34

*Serra…

It’s been days maybe a week it’s hard with everything that they have us going through with the noises and the lights and anything and everything to try and to keep me off center to tell time, to keep in sync with my bodies clock.

But it doesn’t matter.

Little by little I’ve been working at doing things, like building a Kaltra.

A kaltra is like a kata in martial arts but for the mind, for my people and it’s getting things linked together and lined up. First thing is first and that’s been scaring them unnerving them and getting them to hit my cell doors, to react. I’ve been studying them, learning how they move, the length of strides and the reach of their arms and how fast they turn and react.

That’s all memory now.

Next has been the hardest and that’s been building up my physical reserves. They don’t feed me too much but I’ve been slowing my metabolism down more and more and tricking my body into going into fat saving mode. It’s not much really but it’s all that I have.

And feeling out the drugs and the gasses that they use and getting rid of what it does…not getting it out of my system but embracing it and learning the full extent of the effects of the things that they are using.

So I can block them out and override them…mind over matter.

And lastly is my meditations…breathing cross-legged and staring at then as I’ve been hitting the floor.

Unnerving them, but way more important is casting my energy out with the hits, sending out with each of the vibrations and using them to move things, move tiny little things….making them go further and further until I can…

Learning to even do it is most of it and then being able to focus my feelings on touching them and turning them hours and hours every day of me just hitting the floor from lights on to lights out.

I don’t know what they’ve been doing to Stevie but she is my bonded and I know where they are.

I’m coming Stevie

I wait until it’s after feeding time and they slide the TV dinner in. Well it’s plastic and plastic and there’s no utensils so I eat with my hands. I’ll need the food and the energy and while I seem to be engrossed in eating they do what most humans do when faced with the routine.

They assume it will be a continuing state of things.

I eat and then I rest…breathe, breathe and flip my internal switches, boost up my metabolism make it go into overdrive and then trip my adrenals.

I’m at the door in a flash and I hear the guards yelling “Hey! Back away from the door!, Back the fuck away from the door!”

Then someone hits the gas button.

I ignore it and I hit the door and the wall and then the door and then the wall…each strike creating vibrations that I can feel in my fingertips…grab it, ride them…feel the movements…push them…you pictured this in your mind a million times Serra.

I could cry if I wasn’t so wired when the tumblers slip and move and the lock…unlocks.

I push the door open and they open fire and it’s guard three and five and I take a really good guess as to how they’ll move and fire and I slip to the side of the door.

Three is slower.

The gas is making a good smoke screen.

“Did we get him? Did we get him!?” That’s guard number five.

I count the rounds and they’re really fast shooters and they’re likely military but they still need to change clips and when I hear the slide of the clip releasing I move.

I’m Tuan… so picture learning mental control of your body, to override pain and anything else and take the human body to its mechanical utmost, we’re only limited by will.

The willpower to use our empathic natures to enforce the feelings onto our own selves. And yes it requires a lot of hard training it’s just not a natural power that we have.

I step in and the first thing is several sharp blows to the head to him and a triple Jeet kune do snap kick set to the head of five and it’s not going to hurt them with the helmets that they’re wearing but with my strength…well yes hurt, stunned and with very much likely whiplash from the blows.

I grab three and turn and I use him as a shield as guards one, two and four are firing at me and then.

I pop three’s arm out of the socket and break his wrist in a turn and he let’s go of his gun and I have it now.

And my hand eye is better than theirs, my nerve conduction is better than theirs and like I said I know how they move.

They’re down before the other alarm goes off with the people that are watching my guards. I keep up my speed stripping gear and vests and taking things ID cards, knives, all of the guns…and yes I can only use two at a time but honestly it’s going to be easier to just drop two spent guns and pull two ready ones.

I take all of the clips and their wallets too…I’m already on the move running and pooling the cash and the drivers licences into one wallet.

Yes I want to have a chance to know who they are, if I can know who they are then I can maybe or the others maybe can figure out who exactly they’re working for.

This really could be government or corporate of both.

I can’t take the elevators.

So the stair?

No, the elevators it is.

I feel them before they round the corner, these ones aren’t wearing the electromagnetic shielding helmets. I literally can feel their adrenaline and their combat instincts roaring through them and it’s like a beacon.

I toss a snap baton. I touch the whole area with the reaction they all should have when something is tossed around a corner. ~Grenade! ~

They react based on that burst of feeling, they simply have too much training and experiences not to heed the action blended with the outward empathic burst.

I turn the corner and I open fire moving fast as I can and shooting for their heads, they’re wearing vests but not helmets. I would not like to kill them but every soldier or agent that I take down is another one that can’t pursue us.

I’ve killed before.

I grab some more ammo and one had an H&K MP-5 and I take that too and I head for the elevators.

There’s a ding of awareness and I look up and start to shoot out the cameras as I’m going. “Dammit I should have thought of that.”

I feel and surprise a staffer. He’s a suit and not in the agent way so I use one of the tasers I have really sparking him out before he even had a clue who I was or that he was in danger and then I’m there at the elevators.

Brrt, Brrt…I take out two more cameras and I hit the button.

Then I force the doors.

I shouldn’t be able too, these are security styled doors and it would take a pry bar and tow very strong men to open these with the force they’ve built them to stay closed but I’m really strong right now and I have a combat knife.

The guard on it’s the key, slip it in and don’t pry it with the blade. It’d just snap off like that and I use the guard of the knife to push against the side of the door to protect my fingers just enough to get my hands in there and it takes a lot of will but I force them open enough to slip through.

I breaths a little once I’m on the other side of those doors and I reach out and feel.

Stevie’s upstairs.

And there’s an elevator coming down very fast with a whole dozen agents in full combat gear and armor too. They have orders now to kill…I can feel it.

There’s this second that they come and I drop off and they stop at my floor I was just on and it’s a close thing between the drop…freefall down the shaft and grabbing the undercarriage.

There’s a…there’s the distinct smell of wood and glue with the grease…it has a plywood floor.

*Stevie…

I’m recovering from another healing; they keep brining me different people and most of them I don’t really know not being too well versed in politics. Some of them I sort of get to know while I’m healing them and that’s sometimes not a good thing.

Some of these men.

And it’s almost always men.

Well they’re lewd and they’re vile.

The things that I have seen, and it just ever so seems that with money and I mean unseemly amounts of wealth comes this vile almost disconnect with the rest of humanity.

Then add in some of the Zealots.

And I don’t do broken bones either I fight and heal diseases.

They fill these people with drugs that will boost the immune system, young new blood transfuse from what feels like children…and vitamins and IV’s and all of the very best and then I’m set to work.

I’m a healer and there is a karmic, an ethical imperative for me to use my abilities to help someone.

I’m not helping these men of that though I am helping the others that they have here as hostages. I’m not sure where they are but they are here and they’re…well we’re actually a private hospital.

With a facility above it and well with a facility there’s hostages…not that I’d do that.

But to be allowed to heal kids and people that don’t have a chance?

That’s why I heal and treat as best I can these sick old men.

Like that Romney fellow from yesterday. I think he was a governor up in one of the New England states or something?

See I use my Shuan powers and my empathy is more linked to the healing and sensory and perceptive sides of the mind and soul so what I do is I link with my patient and I go deep until I find the center of their sickness and then I feel out the center of their health and I slowly use those links to slow the cancer or other disease and to direct the body to fight it better, to fight it in an almost controlled way.

The closest thing would be I sort of make the disease sick and then use the immune system to attack it like a nano-army.

Though I can’t do it at once and I can’t cure all things…I can help, I can help a lot but too far gone is too far gone.

But it’s often a lot of treatments…and it takes a lot of concentration.

I’m drooping and feel like something between a boiled cabbage and hell and I’m drinking a can of that Slimfast like shake stuff when I see the handlers coming in.

They’re in the infectious diseases gear and that’s because it’s been modified to block them from my powers… wire meshed suits and visors so I can’t make eye contact or skin contact so I really can’t do anything and usually they have the batons but this time they have batons and they have pistols.

“What’s going on?”

“Shut up number six and get moving.”

“I have a name.”

“Don’t fucking care! Move cunt!”

I get hit with a jab and shocked…not tasered but very, very much like a cattle prod. I yelp and get moving and I’m being led to the secure sealed elevators to be taken below again and I see Dr. Armbrewster there.

“Doctor.” I try to be cordial as I rub at the place where I was shocked.

“Number Six.”

“I have a name doctor.”

“And we’ve had this discussion before Six.”

“And I was hoping to have it again Herr Doctor.” I smile at him.

“You’ll not be smiling soon Six, the kill order just went out about that Freak Five.”

“Serra? There’s a kill order on Serra?”

He turns and he smiles. “Yes, we’re finally going to be rid of it. Execution for being an enemy combatant. He has no use any longer for us.”

I look at him and the others and then I look back at him. “I thought you said a lie by omission is still a lie Dr. Armbrewster?”

“And what would I be lying about Six?”

I take a side step out of the way as the elevator doors open and Serra’s there wearing a bullet proof vest and those scrubs they make us wear, sweat soaked and covered in blood and grease and all of her muscles are standing out… and there’s bodies in SWAT like armor all around her and she’s got some kind of heavy rifle looking weapon pointed at him.

“You should’ve have said that she was loose Herr Doctor, there’s a world of difference.”

Armbrewster’s head explodes at this range….I drop and cover and it’s really fast and loud and I know that there will be screaming and alarms going off… Then they are going off as Serra dumps half of the gear she has and she pulls the fire alarms…everyone we see as we’re heading out of this area and out into the main part of the hospital grabbing both of us lab coats to cover ourselves with and her buttoning hers up and using another one to wipe off her face.

We’re running out of there as security comes and she screams at them and she points back towards the section we were in.

“He’s in there! he’s in there and he has guns!”

I throw in. “He came up from the freight elevator!”

We both hit the empathic fear push and sell our fear to them.

One of the security guards says. “Go, go! Get the hell out of here!”

We’re running and we actually go into one of the nurses stations like staff would trying to blend with the panic as we are passed by two serious guys in serious looking suits and sunglasses and ear pieces with guns out.

Then we’re out and we’re pushing the “Blending in” with the staff and patients as the fire evac is in progress and we leave the crowd and Serra psi-jacks a car using the feelings of the locking stuff and using her own electrical field to pop the electric locks and then start the car and we pull out.

We get out and onto the road and then the highway.

The GPS says we’re near a place called Ruby Valley, Nevada.

I look over at my Tuan, my beloved. “Where are we going now?”

“West…we head for California and then.”

“Then we look for Dylan?”

Serra looks at me. “First we get lost and then a safe house, and then we have to tell the other’s what’s going on.”

“And Dylan?...” I look out the window as we’re driving. “If they’re going to change then they’ll be going through it soon.”

Serra nods. “We’ll check, one of the hidden elders might have clues.”

I nod and bite my lip.

There’s so much to be scared for and of and right now I just really, really want to get my family back together and get home.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-35

Chapter 35

*Before…

The GPS says we’re near a place called Ruby Valley, Nevada.
I look over at my Tuan, my beloved. “Where are we going now?”
“West…we head for California and then.”
“Then we look for Dylan?”
Serra looks at me. “First we get lost and then a safe house, and then we have to tell the other’s what’s going on.”
“And Dylan?...” I look out the window as we’re driving. “If they’re going to change then they’ll be going through it soon.”
Serra nods. “We’ll check, one of the hidden elders might have clues.”
I nod and bite my lip.
There’s so much to be scared for and of and right now I just really, really want to get my family back together and get home.

*And Now…

I’ve never been too familiar with the world so much outside of home. I’m a Shu’an so there’s a whole lot of the humans that either take me for a woman and in a whole lot of ways that’s true but at the same time sometimes things happen and people get too close and it’s me getting mistaken for being a trans person.

And that of course has a lot of mixed results depending on what part of the world that we ended up finding ourselves in.

And well it’s been a long time since I was outside where I could see things and feel the sunshine on my skin and the fresh air too.

Serra’s driving pretty fast and I’m hoping that we avoid police and state troopers and whatever else is out here now. But there’s little I can do or literally waste energy worrying about when what will happen will happen and I can’t control any of it.

It takes too much energy too to do that and I’m trying to rebuild power that I’ve lost. Not just from today and everything that happened but from all of it. I feel stretched thin. Too thin for me to do things right or even feel the way that I usually do.

But the driving helps, rolling down the window helps a lot too and for the first time in too many years I slide my arm out the window and just let the air flow over it some as I listen to the radio.

Some of it’s not that bad actually…though I’ve never heard of half of these singers.

Actually that’s nothing new. Serra and I have lived in all sorts of different places and countries since we left home and started our work and when we usually get to a place we really are green there and that’s actually a good disguise too since being the outsider is pretty obvious so struggling with new things is actually pretty socially keyed in.

And we do learn fast but when you’re in a hard place there’s nothing as suspicious as knowing things right off the get go.

We’re making good time and we stop every now and then to switch out vehicles. Serra is good at stealing them using her abilities and things but she knows what cars she can get to and sometimes stealing a car is a matter of getting one going that’s not going to be missed.

Like at a used car lot.

We pick one that’s closed and Serra slips in once they know where the cameras are and she finds the power box and surges the system. Not one of the things that I can do but it’s kind of like she coaxes the electricity to do things.

We get a car that’s in the back part of the lot, usually one of the trade ins to be worked on and then she boosts it and we’re off.

Food, money is even easier to get sort of and that’s on me.

People are easier to distract than technology so its gas stations with the little stores attached and me with my breasts hiked up into full large bounce and sway and using my looks. And I get them of course but then it’s a little push to that attention, a push to the feelings they have and the wants while Serra does a little enhanced reflex shoplifting and/or picking pockets.

And while I’m being noteworthy I’m not at the same time. Push hard enough on my assets and that’s all they really remember.

‘She was a blonde, no a brunette, no a strawberry blonde…but I remember her rack goooollee those tiddies did bounce ossifer.’

Also people only review their tapes for the security camera once they catch you or really suspect you of doing something. And they actually might but by the time they do and call the cops and look at things we’re long, long gone from there.

We do that three times in two days with Serra barely sleeping and living off of sugar and energy drinks and coffee and protein. She eats protein when she’s tired and it’s stuff that just makes my stomach take a dive as it’s usually the worst kind of stuff and just loaded with grease too.

She’ll eat as I drive and she’ll catnap.

I actually pull over at a truck stop and in with the staff cars since it’s easier to blend in and this is one of those truck stops with the fast food joint stalls in it and all sorts of other stuff that wasn’t really around before we were caught and captured.

I know it was a decade in there and who really knows how long we were bounced around either.

Dylan must be fifteen by now at least.

I turn on the heater and drift into a little half nap for a while and listen to the radio and this time it’s local so I can hopefully catch some of the news and not just about us but just well everything really.

I missed so much; it’s all changed so much.

Except for a lot of the bad things.

Men are still hating each other, they’re fighting, warring, killing over race and faiths and an endless sinkhole of greed coming from those in power and those willing to support that power for their own ends.

Most are puppets, just self-interested rich folks that just want more and with successive generations they’re just getting worse.

Like a lot of the right wing folks.

Sigh…sometimes being who I am and what I am I’m just so tired, so tired of humans and the fact that they seem to be going exactly as our people had done so very long ago.

I want to go home.

I miss home, the mountains, the jungle rainforest, and the peace there.

We’re high up in the Andes and people mostly think that it’s just one of the glaciers and that there’s nothing really there and well we’re far enough up and out of the way that we don’t get visitors, the locals and the natives have had enough exposure to us being there that there’s a sort of hefty spiritual reason not to bother those of us that live in the Baktun.

They thought we lived in one of the Mayan heavens and we didn’t correct that either and now a bare handful of shamans know of us at all there.

It was such a good place, such a nice place to live…so unlike here.

Not that it’s all bad here, it’s not there’s horrible things going on here but the people. The ones that are good and caring and kind and brave.

They’re worth saving.

I wake up when Serra does and she’s sitting up and she’s looking out our window and I’m trying to see what’s going on out there and I see a girl that looks like she’s a truck stop prostitute and she looks like she’s in trouble from two large guys that have her cornered and looking like they want to get her into their transport truck.

I look at her and Serra is looking like she’s riding the fence on helping or having us stay under the radar.

I give her a look, a long look and she nods. “Get the engine going we’re leaving, I won’t be long.”

“Be careful, they might be armed.”

She kisses me. “One knife and the other has a handgun.”

Then she’s out and she’s walking towards them and I can feel her building her power for the fight and channeling it through her nerves and muscles.

I start the engine and pull out of the parking spot and watch things as they unfold.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-36

*Before…

Not that it’s all bad here, it’s not there’s horrible things going on here but the people. The ones that are good and caring and kind and brave.
They’re worth saving.
I wake up when Serra does and she’s sitting up and she’s looking out our window and I’m trying to see what’s going on out there and I see a girl that looks like she’s a truck stop prostitute and she looks like she’s in trouble from two large guys that have her cornered and looking like they want to get her into their transport truck.
I look at her and Serra is looking like she’s riding the fence on helping or having us stay under the radar.
I give her a look, a long look and she nods. “Get the engine going we’re leaving, I won’t be long.”
“Be careful, they might be armed.”
She kisses me. “One knife and the other has a handgun.”
Then she’s out and she’s walking towards them and I can feel her building her power for the fight and channeling it through her nerves and muscles.
I start the engine and pull out of the parking spot and watch things as they unfold.
*And Now…Serra.

I just couldn’t stand by and just watch.

We’ve been out here with the human’s a long time and nothing should surprise me.

I guess the only thing that does with me being a soldier is the fact after everything that I’ve seen, been through, felt...done that I still give a shit.

I can’t help it.

That girl could be my kid.

That kid is someone’s kid.

And that’s why I’m doing this.

And she’s terrified.

I can empathically feel it rippling off her in waves.

Feel them too.

No cameras they made sure they parked to block what they were doing.

Good.

I pull my hat down more and walk straight in.

Not skulking and doing the stealth TV thing but up to the front of the truck going out of their line of sight then around the fender/bumper corner and right up to the two of them.

A really fast walk.

Sneaking causes attention from those looking outside.

Running up to people causes them to look at you.

And no yelling, no talking, no getting their attention by saying anything like “Hey Stop.”

Nope instead I have my energy focused...pushing my electrical field to speed my nerves and make my muscles exceed normal ranges.

The guy I sense with the gun is first and on the other side of the other guy who has his knife out and has the girl by the hair.

He can wait as I take a half step passed his peripheral vision and into range for the guy that has the gun and I hit hit plain and simple before he really registers me as there. His eyes are just starting to track me as I deliver a snap kick to his temple.

I have to actually be careful not to kill him but his pupils hadn’t even focussed on me when his universe goes sideways as does his body and he careens face first into the trailer of one of the trucks.

His nose goes crunch, teeth get broken.

And I use all that power in me all that strength to yank my leg down fast...that force spins me around. And I backhand the guy with the knife in the back of the head, the other foot as it comes around striking behind his knees in a sweep and my hand on the sweeping side grabs the girl and pulls her clear as he hits the ground.

I let go of her as soon as I know he’s not going to pull her down and I’m facing him as he went flat on his back.

I don’t wait either.

Nothing as fancy as the other stuff.

I stomp his balls and with my force it’s doing life long damage.

He sits up to howl and I punch him full in the face knocking him out before he can scream.

I sort of .look at the girl but not fully so she doesn’t see me.

Shift my voice sounding south western in accent.

“You should get outta here kid before I have to arrest ya too.”

I’m not Stevie able to push hard on thoughts but I sort of spike her fear response of Cop!

She turns and runs away fast.

Yeah I could try and help her but with what’s chasing us she’d get killed or used as a hostage if they caught up to us.

I riffle through their stuff taking wallets, money in pockets, the gun a 9mm sig and the knife.

I literally roll them under their rigs and use their keys to get into their cabs...spare ammo, a baseball bat, unopened beef jerky, spare still sealed water bottles and everything else is just disgusting.

I hop out and take the keys with me and hop into the vehicle as Stevie pulls up.

*Stevie...

Even as I watch Serra go and she’s so determined she’s also no fool either. I’m not great shakes as a fighter but Serra...in our people her kind fight and they fight to win.

It’s over before I’m even pulling up and she’s getting in and tossing things in the back but going over the gun.

“I hate guns.”

She looks at me. “They’re just guns, it’s the people.”

I pull out and hit the highway.

“Exactly, people are by and large panicky, untrained, untested buttholes who think their 2nd amendment rights equal actual proficiency.”

She’s looking at me smiling.

“What?”

“I love it when you go all peacenik on me.”

I shoot her a side eye, purse my lips. “Good, I’m a healer I’m not going to change.”

She looks good though...a side effect of her power boost is all that power through her muscles makes everything look all freshly worked out and really buff.

And she’s actually so beautiful as well...She’s Tu’ani and that means she’s mostly female but not too...sort of intersex like humans or not us have but we’re more stable, more defined as not just genders but as sexes too. Sure we reproduce like normal binary folk but there’s definite differences.

But Serra...outside from the facility is tall, strong shouldered with clear skin save some interesting and cur freckles. Tan skin with hints in there of some mixed lineage from our people settling in South America.

Deep honey blonde and just...curve but muscle like one of those not overly developed body builder women.

And worse she’s actually flirting sort of, being cute.

And this sort of jockette military hard ass too.

I lean over and kiss her softly and pouring my sexuality into it a bit.

I feel her vibrate a little her body thrumming.

“I think it’s called something else now babe, Reagan’s not president any more.”

Yep we’re actually that old.

No, we haven’t been out of things that long….I’m just joking.

She smiles and she nods rubbing her forehead against mine.

“At least we got out before Nixon’s head in a jar got elected.”

I laugh a little and we pull out of there heading west again on the highway.

As good as this was…

As amazing as Serra just was…

We’re still on the run and she’s still sitting in the passenger seat going over a handgun and has clips of rounds and boxes of ammo in her lap.

And part of me really hates this.

Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-37

*Before…

“Probably, you’ll have to at least come to Santiago with me at some point.”
“Where?”
“Chile.”
“You live in Chile?”
“No, not really but it’s where we bring in new bloods.”
“New bloods?”
“People like you. A lot of our people went out of the colonies to live in the wider world some have had kids we try and bring them home if they call for it or like you turn out to be Shuan or Tuan and their powers start.”
“Oh…”
I head to Jax’s car after I eat my burgers and take my pop and Cheyenne joins me and he’s there with some girl and they’re listening to tunes and have the AC blasting away and I slip into the back seats laying down and reach out taking shy’s hand while I’m doing so and she joins me laying in the cool of the car.
We both let out an out of the heat and pleasantly full sigh and she wraps her arms around my waist and wriggles to get comfortable saying, “In the tradition of my peoples I recommend a siesta.”
Jax is like. “Agreed…Amy?”
She takes his jacket and wads it up like a pillow and shoots me a look and a little smile as she uses him as a pillow. “Definitely.”
I snuggle back against Cheyenne and whisper. “Tell me about Chile?”
She hugs me a little tighter and whispers in my ear. “I first went there when I was six….”
*And Now…
I never felt like this before.

Just all snuggled into Cheyenne and feeling her under and behind me is...it’s so strange and nice too.

She’s taller and longer in her body than I am, and even those I can feel her small breasts against me I can feel all of this hard muscle too.

Strong arms too.

I’m no wimp either, I work hard and stuff here and home and lift weights and stuff at home but Cheyenne’s different. Literally a whole other animal…. Tuan.

I’m sooo comfortable right now.

Shy’s talking quietly and there’s this feeling coming off of this as it’s like all personal sort of just for me.

“I was twelve when I first got to Chile and it honestly took my breath away. Hiking down through the Andes was hard but it was so worth it. There’s all these small villages that are full of people that are really poor, there’s natives and off shoot folk from the colonization up there but at the same time there’s this pride in them and feeling of all the old ways still trying to thrive even as so much has happened to them.”

I smile sleepily. “And Lamas right?”

Shy chuckles. “Yes and lots more like the wood work in the villages, the knit caps and women smoking pipes and all the clothworks too. I bought some of my favorite things coming through there on my way to Santiago.”

“Hmmm?”

“No pipes but I have a knit wool flapped hat I love a lot. And the food was pretty good too, things taste different up in the mountains. “

I smile getting this sort of picture of Shy in fatigues and a cold weather jacket of some type and a tee shirt with this rainbow sort of flappy hat and a huge backpack that’s nearly bigger than she is...they are. Gosh she’s gangly, all arms and legs and she has a walking staff which I never thought of as a real thing outside of books and movies.

“What’d you think was best?”

“Lots really but there’s the corn of course which is totally different but they have these amazing potatoes too and other produce but the best thing I ate was this coal roasted turkey that was done with some kind of wood and in this big roaster then they had herbs and leaves and the bird stuffed with squash and honey and they covered it in lots of pepper.”

I hear Jax up front. “I love turkey.”

Shy’s nodding but says. “Cherimoya, I love them, they’re custard apples so awesome but they’re like impossible to get around here.”

I murmur. “We’ll look, they might have them in bigger stores or something. I’m too full to think about food though ‘kay?”

Shy says. “‘Kay...you still want to know about Santiago?”

I nod. “Definitely, I wanna know stuff about you.”

I can feel how happy that makes her.

“I guess what stuck me most is that it’s so much more than what I expected. The city has way more modern buildings and stuff. I mean of course there’s going to be that stuff given it’s Santiago but I wasn’t expecting just how urban the rest of it was with suburbs and apartments and really nice streets and things.

I read things about it and knew there was lots of people there but it was just not what I was expecting. And yet there was still all those things I miss there, grew to love.”

“Hmm? Like what?”

“The people, they’re funny and happy a lot of the time and passionate like from politics to food to wine, places to go and there’s this air there from folks. They’re still one of those cities where it’s family and neighborhood and cook outs over who has the nicest car or makes the most or has the best toys.

I mean you see it just hanging out on the streets where there’s all thing street art that takes graffiti to the next level and then some. The tunes with their own rap, hip hop and metal. They do stuff differently too like pick up games of soccer in the parks but lots of basketball too and there’s this amazing subculture of boarders and bmx trick riders.”

I yawn a little. “Sound’s awesome.”

Shy sighs. “It’s got it’s bad sides too. Pollution’s pretty horrible in places and it’s really chauvinistic at times especially in the over thirty set. If you’re female or pass for it then there’s stuff just coming at you from street harassment and catcalling to men trying to be even more aggressive especially if you’re butch like me or a confident woman. That comes a ton from the religion down there and a lot of those old world values.”

I sigh. “Okay not so good then.”

Shy says. “Not that bad either, you have to be aware and aware a lot. It’d be the same as traveling in the middle east as a woman. There planet’s full of problems and things that really need to stop but there’s a lot of folks that are comfortable with the as is.”

Jax asks. “Why all the way here?”

Shy says. “It’s the way of my people, it’s sort of a find your heart thing.”

He’s quiet a minute. “Kinda like a rumspringa sort of thing?”

She chuckles. “Kinda like that.”

He yawns. “Wouldn’t mind getting that far away. It’d be really different than Jersey, plus there’s a lot of MMA down there.”

Shy does this yawny stretch. “Maybe someday, I know some good teachers down there I could either introduce you if I was there or like write you a letter.”

He mumbles. “Cool.”

I’m smiling and content as the food meets the summer afternoon heat and the chilly AC making things just sort of that good chill and the rock playing over the stereo and I soak it up as I doze.

It’s one of those summer moments that becomes one of those memories that I’ll likely be telling my kids about.

And I doze.

I sort of feel Cheyenne linking to me as we doze and I lower my blocks and feel her actually enjoying the moment too but more...reaching out to the life around us and pulling in this sort of hum of life from the ocean, from the berryfield as all those tiny leaves making food and life and power...power we’re sort of feeding off of but like it’s as free drifting as the sunshine is for the plants and the plankton.

It’s a stunning feeling and it’s sort of like taking a bath in light.

God...just…

It’s so beautiful.

I’m lost but not in it and Cheyenne’s sort of leading my senses around the fields as I’m feeling out people and Martin Jefferson’s dog out there playing frisbee with him and all those things through their life forces and I can feel Shy amused.

~What?~
~It’s all you.~
~Me?~
~Shuan are really more powerful in sense than Tuani, I’m just sort of plugged into you.~
~But you know what to do right?~
~Sort of there’s not a lot of training for this.~
~This?~
~Us, together.~
~Oh...is it that rare?~
~No, it’s that intimate.~
~Oh…~

And the feelings that swirl and the mention of intimacy wakes me with a serious blushing feeling. I sit up and look back at her and we have one of those serious eyes locking looks and she bites her lip and then smiles.

Wow...dammit that was hella cute and sexy.

You know those kinda punk looking butch girls are both beautiful but in a handsome way, not a girly way but still like you get they’re a girl.

Yep that’s definitely Shy right now.

I get out of the car first and help her out and I feel pretty rested and I’m not sure if this is sort of cheating at life being able to do this or not.

There’s a lot of stuff, lot of stuff to think over with being an alien and all and having powers.

Okay it’s not like anything in the movies but it’s still I’m able to see things and tap into things like getting this renewed energy into me.

I’m going to have to be careful.

But...right now I’m adjusting things that I’m used to adjusting and not as I head back to the fields and get my rake and give it a good wipe and some more veg oil on the tines and then take my buckets and go to a newly strung line with the others and start raking.

I’m already behind Cheyenne who has most of a bucket filled already and is actually talking up a storm with some of the immigrant kids that are here.

Yeah we have a lot of immigrant folks here and likely illegals and a lot of folks are okay with that here.

It’s different here in places like outside of town and stuff. I mean I’m here and some other locals but not enough to do these fields and others. I keep hearing they’re taking our jobs but most berry fields will hire anyone they can get their hands on. It’s that really there’s a lot of people really confused as to what work is.

Too spoiled honestly.

And it’s not a city thing, either because I’m from Patterson and while no metropolis we have people that do shitty jobs and then there’s this whole bunch of folks that just won’t go near anything hard.

It’s a farm job, it’s hard work.

The work is there, no one’s stopping anyone from doing it.

And y’know the owners are being pretty kick ass too because this is a really good field and they could so easily have harvesters on here but they saved it as a reward for us.

If you work hard and rake hard then you can make really good coin.

And I’m trying for that.

Turning on my tunes and sort of shut out the world outside of what I’m doing and actually trying to make my strokes of the rake better. It’s not like i’m doing anything outside of myself but there’s a whole lot that you can do when you can just really focus and do something.

Time seems to sort of go really fast around me as I focus on what I’m doing as I fill bucket after bucket and rake after rake just sort of able to like take the time to really see the berries and like take these really careful strokes getting as much in as I can.

Only I can tell I’m moving normally, well faster since I’m more focused. But it’s still normally and everything is good until I’m done my row and stop.

Hot… not bad but bad and it’s all the sweat from working and then there’s all this boob sweat and the soaked bra and I’m thirsty too. Not like I hurt myself but I’m going to have to be careful when focusing.

I drink from the water tank they have down at weigh in and get my card marked and then pull off my shirt revealing bra and boobs as I wet myself down and my shirt too. Yeah I’m showing pokey nipples but I’m not caring...I’m me...I went skins in sports before this and dammit they’re just boobs.

I wet down my hair too before heading back with a stack of buckets and drinking water to sort of gas up. I’m getting looks and open breast stares and I feel that guy reaction to my breasts from the men and boys until people get reminded.

And some still have those look and attracted feelings mostly along with a whole bunch of guilt too.

Sigh...I’m going to get that a lot in my new life I think.

I look at Cheyenne and she looks at me as she’s cleaning her rake pulling out leaves and twigs. We share a smile and she gets it, at least I’m not alone in this.

I slip my blocks up and refocus myself as I put on some more sunblock and go back to work...ignore the strain of the constant arm motion, ignore the pain in my back from being bent over so much raking...bent knees, move back and forth swaying as i stand to mover and sweep-rake better, to work out the legs and skating muscles.

There’s lots of stuff to pull into focus and doing and blocking all the distracting thoughts and just doing this and feeling the music and working with that it’s going fast.

Not just fast but it’s the best raking day I’ve ever had and by the time six o’clock winds around I’m in over a hundred dollars and Cheyenne’s raked over two hundred dollars worth and that’s actually stunning for white kids. But the immigrant kids and the not so legal we’re in good company me in the middle and Shy up near their best pickers.

And we’re only done as early as six PM because we need rest and sleep and the farmers need to actually gather their flats and take them to the weigh in station and warehouse which isn’t even in town but over in Egg.

It’s pay per day here too as berry pickers fall ill and stuff from the heat or just quit and stuff so we get our cheques and get in the car with Jax and the girl and we drive back to the cottages in our own little convoy and there’s the smell of grilling food and everything else as we get out and head to get changes of clothes and everything.

…………… Okay I don’t know about other girls even if I’m not one but boobs in the shower are weird. I really love soaping up and the feelings are well pretty good even if not really sexual and all of that but rinsing and the way water falls and runs it’s still not something I’m used to doing.

And neither is the whole wearing a towel thing and all the stuff the other girls are doing and I’m ending up outside the showers with them after I have my boxers and basketball shorts on so it’s not that uncomfortable for them and it’s getting our hair looking okay and putting lots of cold cream on sunburns.

I don’t have to use much because my tan’s already been working pretty good all spring and summer before this so I’m not really doing the burn and tan line thing yet due to a lot of sunscreen.

Shy’s not actually shy…. She comes out of the shower naked and drying her hair with a towel and she’s.

I see muscle there in all these places that no girls I know have muscle and she has even these light abs showing and everything is shaved...or bare...literally she’s got a Brazilian? Okay bad pun but yeah tanned and kinda flawless except for these small breasts that just sit up perky like no matter what she does.

I’d been way more turned on if she stayed longer but she dried her hair roughly and wiped herself down with her towel in a really guy like way and she put on underwear and a sports bra and just literally hopped into her jeans she brought to change into and a baggy black Green Lantern t-shirt.

Not doing anything else, not caring about how her hair looks and I can feel the girls kind of wtf over that and some are a little turned on and don’t get why...okay one of my cousins definitely gets why and being tuned in now I can feel Cheyenne’s mind on the almost guy track of food.

I head out and see Shy talking with Mom and they’re into it and making some kind of sauce not sauce? It’s green and it’s got lots of olive oil and there’s vinegar and I’m thinking cilantro and garlic but they’re talking and taste testing together and Shy’s dipping pieces of baguette in it trying it out and adding things like lemon zest to it and some squeezes of juice then whipping it up again.

It’s good to see them talking and chilling out.

Little steps.

I head over to where Dad’s at and he’s all cleaned up to after raking and talking with my uncles and stuff as they’re running the grills and my stomach does a growly snap at me after working all day.

It all smells so good.

*Before…

Not doing anything else, not caring about how her hair looks and I can feel the girls kind of wtf over that and some are a little turned on and don’t get why...okay one of my cousins definitely gets why and being tuned in now I can feel Cheyenne’s mind on the almost guy track of food.

I head out and see Shy talking with Mom and they’re into it and making some kind of sauce not sauce? It’s green and it’s got lots of olive oil and there’s vinegar and I’m thinking cilantro and garlic but they’re talking and taste testing together and Shy’s dipping pieces of baguette in it trying it out and adding things like lemon zest to it and some squeezes of juice then whipping it up again.

It’s good to see them talking and chilling out.

Little steps.

I head over to where Dad’s at and he’s all cleaned up to after raking and talking with my uncles and stuff as they’re running the grills and my stomach does a growly snap at me after working all day.

It all smells so good.

*And Now…

The food’s really good and it’s sort of that all out last big family bash sort of thing.

Everyone’s that’s cooked has made something or like several somethings and everyone is sort of ready to seriously eat too.

It’s so a family thing even though we’ll all be taking off afterwards because there’s like a whole bunch of parties to go to tonight as well.

Still there’s loads of stuff and we’re really taking advantage of being at the shore with clams, razor clams, quahogs, oysters and lobsters and even Uncle Jimmy went all out and bought crabs that he does in this boil and then they’re put in a bag and tossed whole with old bay spice stuff and butter.

And there’s burgers and dogs plus steaks and ribs and there’s brats and sausages and even those heavy tin roaster pans full of onions and peppers red, orange and yellow sweets and green bells that are there and yellow banana peppers for the boom that’s like all been roasted off and skinned before tossed into the tray and then there’s like italian salad dressing poured over it all and it reduces and simmers and stuff for like sausage and peppers.

And like of course so much ricotta that it’s nearly insane.

Yeah you don’t have to be Italian in Jersey to have a tradition of stuff like sausage and peppers.

I’m getting a little bit of the shellfish and some of Aunt Janice’s potato salad because she makes it with like eggs and green tomato chow chow and whole grain mustard and well of course potatoes and onion but the kicker is she has a little bit of horseradish in there that just is really good and she always has a bowl of green onions to toss on top.

I get a few ribs and two sausage and peppers on rolls and Shy joins me with a plate with a steak very close to rare looking with the pepper mix from the sausage and peppers over the green sauce stuff she and Mom made plus she has three slider burgers and some potato salad and a whole tray of seafood.

I eat and I mean I eat and like healthily but Shy she puts the food away kinda like Jax does.

She’s kinda getting looks too and it’s sort of this awe from the girls mixed with some jealousy too.

I can sort of feel it.

Even as much as they’re eating here if they’re going out...they’re holding back

And it’s also that girl thing.

Like this psychological deal where there’s this little fear inside of them eating.

Me I’m getting sort of grandfathered in with the guys sort of because I kind of started out like one before this summer and yet there’s some that notice me eating less than Cheyenne.

And then there’s some of them that eat but they feel off.

Eating and loving it but hating it too and it’s strong, really strong.

I reach out to Cheyenne...share the feeling.

~What? What is this do you know?~

She looks at me. ~Eating disorder by the feel of it...I’m not really that skilled in that stuff that’s much more a shuani thing.~

~Oh.~

~Which is why you need to get some training Dylan.~

~I know, I know but I have a life.~

She’s looking at me. ~The old you before you woke up had a life you...you have a whole existence of things that you are that you have to learn about.~

I stare at her and honestly I’m a little miffed at this. I mean it’s not fair.

~This isn’t exactly fair Shy.~

~And neither is people getting sick Dylan it’s biology, it’s your race.~

~My race…~

~Our race Dylan.~

~Great so the whole not human thing.~

~We’re human we just took a different path that humans here.~

I sigh and she’s looking at me and she does offer me this quiet sweet smile.

“Things will be okay Dylan.”

“Sure I just have to go some how to like to South America.”

“Eventually yes, you need training and you are strong, really strong Dylan I don’t have the skill to teach you. I just a Shuani, I’m a fighter a protector.”

“So how do I even explain this to my family?”

“Carefully and with time. We have the time you still need to learn the basic stuff and that I can show you and I still need to hook up to the ley lines and contact people and let them know that you’re alive and pass that on.”

“Okay so until then?”

“Life as usual and so not usual now?” She tries to offer cheerfully.

“Okay, okay it’s just that feeling that…” I gesture out to the family a little. “It’s kind of disturbing even kind of freaks me out.”

She nods. “Shielding is important. But they’re likely spiking since they’re having a trigger moment with all of the food here.”

“Can I help them?”

She shakes her head. “Not without training, I’d not even know where to start.”

I nod as I eat then I reach out more and open up and I feel.

Feel them, feel the stuff piling up and the distress.

I reach out and feel Kimberly who’s the worst and I slip in deeper until it feels like I’m inside her skin sort of and I breathe and breathe and feel out for all of that pressure and anxiety and I insert myself in between it and put up a shield.

Not to protect me but between her and all of it.

I feel it work.

I feel her slowly calming down and she’s paying less attention to it and more attention to things around her like conversation.

I give it a little more power and envision sunrise and sort of make the power for the shield last at least that long and then I back out of her.

Cheyenne is staring at me.

“You...you shouldn’t be able to do that Dylan.”

“Okay…”

She shakes her head and she’s definitely feeling out Kimberly and she looks back at me.

“It’s stable, I...you shouldn’t be able to do that.”

I grin. “Yeah you said that.”

“You did that all on your own...that’s advanced stuff...you’re stronger than I thought.”

“So I did a bad thing?”

Cheyenne shakes her head. “No, no not bad but it was dangerous, going deep into others is dangerous you don’t know what’s in there.”

“Do we ever?”

She points her fork at me. “Usually shuani don’t do that sort of thing unless they’ve been speaking to the person. It’s like therapy and knowing what might lurk under it all. People get trapped in other people’s heads.”

I nod. “But what about the first people that did it.”

“Even they had to learn, it was trial and error but...wow that’s a lot more powerful than I had a clue of.”

“I couldn’t just let her suffer Dylan it felt wrong….like inside of me it felt just wrong.”

She looks at me and she sighs. “Just be careful, people have a lot of ugliness in them. It has power Dylan.”

I smile at her. “I’ve got to be me Shy, I can’t help it.”

Her face scrunches up some. “Sure make my job harder.”

I smile again and shove a sausage and pepper roll in my mouth.

~You’ll just have to be my tuan then.~

She points a rib bone at me. “Don’t be smug, we need to be careful, you need to be careful.”

“I still need to be me, something is leading me Shy.”

She stares at me and I just open up to her and the thing is there is something there, the feeling of needing to do this, other things, something, like a bird wanting to fly or something...like a cat that needs to scratch.

She stares and I can feel her reading me and then she sighs.

“Fine, fine...but you have to actually listen to me. I’m serious, when I say no or don’t there’s going to be a reason with it….at least until we get you trained.”

“Are you sure that we can’t find someone around home?”

“As far as I know of there isn’t I could look once we’re back at your house and we can set things up with my lacrima and things so I can feel things or pick up on things better.”

“So there’s a chance that we might not have to leave home then?”

Cheyenne looks at me. “Maybe, maybe but we’re rare Dylan, we’re that last survivors of our race so we’re kind of insulated here as best as we can be, we’re aliens. This isn’t like Men in Black.”

I nod a few times as I chew and finish. “So any truth to that sort of thing?”

She stares at me then she snorts. “No.”

“But we’re here.”

“And that’s enough, seriously there’s no space aliens that we ever have known of or made contact with.”

I get up and stack my things on my tray. “But...but...Area 51 and pyramids and the mayans making the moonlight landing zones!”

She grabs her things and she’s rolling her eyes. “C’mon let’s go and get ready if you want to go out and party.”

“I want to go and party, I want to say goodbye to friends and stuff that I might not see again or for like a year and stuff.”

“Then c’mon you’re going to girl out and take forever to get ready so let’s get started before the bathroom’s too crowded.”

We take our stuff back and we’re not the only ones with that idea so it really didn’t matter that we tried to be there early everyone was and it was this whole deal with getting all dressed up and hot looking.

Cheyenne was sitting literally on the end of one of the laundry tables and drinking a coke looking like super butch hot while she was trying to decide on going girly and part of her does want that and wants to be seen that way and some of that’s this whole seen as normal thing and another part of her wants to be butch and another part of her wants to be comfortable.

I slide over to her. “Let’s do all three. Let’s take things with us in a bag that we can put on as we go or change into.”

That gets her smiling and nodding and kissing me which gets some Aaaws from some of the girls to some looks that have a few of the quiet cousins a little freaked because we kinda look like a lesbian couple.

Heck if you look in the mirror I’m not who I was before this all kicked in with a vengeance. The big and still growing breasts, the shift in my hair and it growing out really fast to my skin and the way that it doesn’t just look but that girl sort of textural change, that girl look and smooth and curve even just on everything.

Cheyenne on the other hand is smaller breasted but still really nice ones, and she’s got stronger shoulders than a lot of average girls and she’s lean. She’s made for all of this warrior deal too. Long legs and long arms for a good reach and long bodied too she’s lean and fit and tall too nearly six feet high she’s the tallest of all of us flat footed.

And I’m not going to say she’s not gorgeous because she is.

I mean watching her slip into a braless little black dress and then do her hair...with some power use I think so that it’s longer than usual because it’s like model/stylized super flat and shiny and she wears it like some exotic princess which she really does get with the make-up job that she does.

It takes some concentration to fight off my unchanged bit. But after that’s literally settled I’m a little fascinated and impressed at how good she looks.

I do the same too...just a little mental sort of pushing to make my hair do what I want it to do and some more to pull on all this sort of fem-energy-knowledge in the room to get the feeling right to put on my make-up. And having that sort of control where your hand is steady and there’s no awkwardness in doing any of this or dealing with a mirror.

Heck yeah this is cheating but I don’t care.

I look good, I look really good and I help the others do things as does Shy and by the time we’re all done we all look really, really good and we’re all charged up to go out.

Some of us packed bags and I definitely did with one of my hockey jersies wrapped around thick socks and some black leggings and two extra pairs of panties all for later and for just in case.

But right now I’m in this little red plunging dress with spaghetti straps and some black stretchy flats.

The cabs we called all come and pick us up and drive into town.

We’re all going to different places and parties so we start splitting up and Cheyenne and I head with some of the older girls and some of the local girls and other visitors to a nearby house party.

*Before…

I look good, I look really good and I help the others do things as does Shy and by the time we’re all done we all look really, really good and we’re all charged up to go out.

Some of us packed bags and I definitely did with one of my hockey jersies wrapped around thick socks and some black leggings and two extra pairs of panties all for later and for just in case.

But right now I’m in this little red plunging dress with spaghetti straps and some black stretchy flats.

The cabs we called all come and pick us up and drive into town.

We’re all going to different places and parties so we start splitting up and Cheyenne and I head with some of the older girls and some of the local girls and other visitors to a nearby house party.

*And Now…

I’m shielding and I’m not.

I want to have fun and feel things, feel what I should feel naturally as myself and what others are feeling with the partying and the dancing and the excitement.

I don’t want to sound selfish but my life has not just turned upside down but kinda left the planet.

I’ve got going back to school coming at me and the relationship, link and all that responsibility of the Tuan and Shuan thing.

So yeah as we go in through the door I pull in the feelings of dancing people and the music and I start dancing.

Shaking it.

Turning around and dancing backwards with lots of sway and shimmy pushing the feelings I’m feeling, from them but from my own body too.

I’m getting used to being me, settling in my skin, liking the way my breasts feel and move. Liking the way it’s making me sexy edgy and my nipples are hardening and the feel of the way my dress feels and looks.

I love the way that my push gets pulled in by Cheyenne and she gets this really hot, smolderingly sexy look in her eyes as she dances with me and it’s this blending with the dancers thing where we’re just going with it and everything else is sort of muted between the two of us dancing and there’s this sexy feel with it too we’re connecting hard and in a really different way that we’re usually doing and it’s definitely filled with hints of erotic feelings and possibilities.

Yeah we could go elsewhere really easily and spend the night doing that.

But we don’t as much as we want to we both don’t want to either.

Shy’s never really done this before here.

Partying hasn’t been a part of her life really and I can tell she’s enjoying it and wants to experience more of it.

I do too.

School will be starting soon and who knows what the heck is going to happen with this whole alien thing.

So I want to kinda live it up too.

And then there’s this whole other thing where this is me cutting loose as the changed me.

I really don’t look like a guy. I mean I’m really chesty and that’s not showing signs of stopping and tonight with the feelings and the shake and shimmy and all of the attention that I’m feeling I’m not sure exactly that I want them to.

My hips are wider than a guys and my butt has been filling out too. The only thing that doesn’t pass with me is my guy stuff and that’s the one thing that really hasn’t been changing.

Which is kind of sanity saving I thing but it’s apparently part of my biology.

We have four sexes.

Two regular and two like me and Cheyenne.

It’s like with our sort of psychic powers the secondary sex traits are switched around. Cheyenne is less curvy than I am and she’s way stronger too and that goes I think even as far as like muscle and bone density too but she’s technically able to function reproductively as a woman.

I think, there’s lots more to learn.

She’s getting lots of attention too.

Cheyenne comes across like this tall and striking butch girl with great muscles and this metal head like mop of black hair.

Sexy and lean.

And all the girls into girls here are checking her out hard.

And some are checking me out too.

It’s heady feeling.

The attention and the attraction.

It’d be scary likely if I went deeper but on the surface I’m a hot chick.

And I kind of feed on that and pull that into me and like help my confidence, to push my up mood into going and just turning most of it into dancing energy.

Which I was literally doing and I didn’t know that I could.

But it makes sense.

If I can use my powers and feelings to do things then that’s energy.

Even if normal humans can’t use it that are giving it off.

There’s a lot of sobering thoughts with that I know, I know and I set those aside for later.

I’m here for a good time tonight.

And we’re having it too.

Lots of dancing, lots of it like I’ve never danced before.

And I’m pretty sure it’s not a thing with my powers either just it’s me being the new and changed me and liking the freedom that comes with being me like this.

I like to shimmy, I really do.

Though after nearly an hour Shy and I stop for a break and we get some water and they have other stuff here of course but I’m not drinking tonight.

Shy isn’t either but we do grab a couple of cans of juice that our hosts are cool enough to have out.

That’s a good party rule, cans are hard for douchebags to tamper with and there’s big cans and those small cans so you can drink it pretty much in one go and not worry about the bad things that happen sometimes.

We don’t really talk much in our break either.

We went out back to the houses really big backyard and patio and they have that all lit up too. We didn’t get too far just sort of found a railing space to lean on and drank the juice and had some water and then we were kissing.

Which got a lot of looks since we really come across as two lesbins going at it.

And Cheyenne’s hands are frisky.

God or gods whatever my people believe in she’s so hot tonight honestly, she cleans up really, really good and she smells even better and there’s this so butch thing she has going on as she touches me and feels my sides and lower as she kisses me.

And it takes a good chunk of willpower to go back inside and dancing.

We’re still getting looks.

Yeah there’s some out people here and there but it’s still something that some people are shy around and about even with my generation.

I love my state a lot New Jersey is a cool place to live actually once you get past the stereotypes.

But yeah honestly they really did make Jersey Shore the show for a reason and some of those kinds of people are pretty bigoted sometimes.

I can feel some of it here not much and they’re not saying anything either but yeah it’s sort of there.

And I know I shouldn’t meddle but I kinda take some of that energy here and focus it outward into this sort of anti-bigot field of an empathic kind.

~It’s not me, it’s no big deal, oh look food! ~

While I did that Cheyenne was doing something too and she slipped through the crowds looking for food when it was right there asking for “Hey did you see the ribs?”

There’s no ribs here.

But I can feel her targeting a couple of seedy looking guys and she...I feel her share with me they have GHB...that’s the date rape rohypnol stuff and she’s picking their pockets of the stuff they have and she’s literally using the doses of one to dose the other guys.

There’s five of them and she just made it seem like she was looking for food by giving them a nudge to look for those ribs that she was looking for.

She meets up with me and we go back to dancing and I kiss her.

“That was awesome Shy.”

“I couldn’t help it, I’m Tuani it’s literally what we do, we’re protectors.”

“Still really cool and deserved.”

“Well what about you, giving out this shut down push to the homophobes here?”

“I didn’t want to mess with people but I want them to have a good time. And people stuffed full of food don’t look to start stuff.”

We end up smiling at each other then kissing.

Cheyenne says. “This, this is what it’s kinda like with us. With bonded pairs we guide and not hurt we stop things before the really bad stuff happens.”

“And in between?”

“Just try and live.”

We dance some more and we dance with some other people that ask us. It’s weird dancing with guys which are some of the people that ask me and it’s weird too since I know some of them. It’s weird since they know too who I used to be before things started and everything and they’re still very focused on my body as a girl and still copping feels.

It’s as freaky as it is weirdly okay?

Part of me actually doesn’t mind being this close to guys.

Well the non gropey non asshole kind of guys are better too.

But they weren’t the only ones that sort of got hands on….there was this one girl called Mary that was way too familiar with touching me.

We have another break or two and Cheyenne gets some of the guys and the host to take care of the GHB assholes who just became really, really drunk and ended up “passing out.”

It’s kind of good to see them getting their just desserts for a change and the tides reversed.

Someone drives them to the hospital just in case of “alcohol poisoning.”

I can feel Shy feeling better now that they’re just out of here and out of the picture.

She leaned in and nuzzled my neck. “In about four hours their nervous system will get this signal to shit themselves as hard as they can.”

I burst out laughing because fuck those rapist bastards they deserved it and worse.

“That’s cruel to the hospital staff Shy.”

“They’re not that fucked up hopefully they’ll call the police and toss them in the drunk tank.”

I still can’t help but be pleased with this.

But as fun as this place is there’s other parties and we head out with some of the cousins and some friends and we’re walking to the next one.

I’m not drunk but it’s still a lot of fun as we’re laughing and giggling and we’re talking and even yelling and screaming.

We even wave at the town cops as they roll by.

Yeah unless we’re breaking stuff tonight they leave us alone because last night of the summer stay kids and stuff is a pretty big thing here.

And they have enough assholes to deal with with the party goers all over town tonight that will get out of hand.

It’s really awesome too walking with Cheyenne like this arm in arm in the open and just being teenagers.

We kind of drift from party to party going to the friendly spots and not the stuck up sort of parties going on but those are either in the fancy houses or cottages or like at the golf club and the country club or some of them out on the boats.

There’s lots of dancing.

Bud Wilson’s place was hopping and while it was just a small house the party was outside and he spent a lot of time on his lawn this year so it wasn’t like all hard and bumpy and prickly so we all could dance out on it in our barefeet.

Dancing as a girl is awesome, dancing as a girl in nice grass in your bare feet is really awesome.

And his place was out on the edge of things enough that noise wasn’t a problem and there was a cool fire pit made and the food was really easy. Burgers and brats and hotdogs and all anyone could eat of those and a ton of chips.

The last place we end up heading to was down at the beaches where everyone usually hangs where there are the final bonfires are at with some of the people here staying with their friends and everything down by the water until dawn.

*Before…

Dancing as a girl is awesome, dancing as a girl in nice grass in your bare feet is really awesome.

And his place was out on the edge of things enough that noise wasn’t a problem and there was a cool fire pit made and the food was really easy. Burgers and brats and hotdogs and all anyone could eat of those and a ton of chips.

The last place we end up heading to was down at the beaches where everyone usually hangs where there are the final bonfires are at with some of the people here staying with their friends and everything down by the water until dawn.

*And Now…

It was a good way to end the night and a good way to end the summer.

Most of the people here were cool, well not like the cool kids but just pretty decent by and large and not the assholes that were the start of summer here or those guys on the ATVs.

And there’s some tradition to all of this as well.

People know that there is this whole sort of last night bash for the semi-locals that come in every year. They know that the bonfires will be going so they all sort of show up too.

There is more drinking.

And there are lots of sober drivers around but there’s the bottles getting passed around with this and that in them and I’m drinking too but mostly with the girls and I’m avoiding the wine and sticking to mudslides.

Those are like boozy milkshakes mostly made with kahlua and they kind of fit my tastes and mood right now tonight as well as the dancing.

Me and Shy and us and some others mostly with the girls and there is definitely this whole sort of Lesbian vibe with some of the girls around us. A few times I actually get that whole sort of softly and very stealthily felt or touched. A few times I was kissed.

Shy coughs. “If you’re kissing my girlfriend then you’re kissing me too.”

And well that happened too.

It was kind of fascinating to see Shy kissing other girls and seeing or rather seeing and feeling their reactions as some of Cheyenne’s tuaness sort of like slipped out and they were getting this whole kissing ping of this butch energy.

She really left a couple of them breathless.

But after kissing them she went right over and kissed me.

Harder and deeper with this passion that they and I could definitely feel.

We left some of them definitely “feeling it.”

And wow what an ego boost for me.

But sometimes some of the braver guys would sort of come and ask us to dance too.

I actually don’t mind it though it’s a little weird given some of them knowing who I am or recognizing me for who I am once we started dancing.

A couple of those guys I was like this weird sort of she-male fantasy like encounter and that was kind of uncomfortable.

Another couple of guys were dancing with me so I didn’t feel left out from the other “girls.” which I just let go since I’m not really a girl….and they were nice enough.

One guy didn’t care...Joel?

I barely know him even from being around but he knew, and he thought that I was cute and pretty no matter my parts.

And like in a cool way, like a clean way.

Because a lot of people unless I’m braced for it the like know they well would go there.

I don’t like the Guido thing, I don’t like the muscle shirt, too tanned slick back haired “Jersey Shore” bad TV type of guy. Some of the girls do and find it sort of like this sexy and funny weird cliche?

Nope….nope, nope, nope rockets to the moon levels of nope.

Cheyenne makes me laugh and giggle as she murmurs in my ear about some of these guy. “Human Bologna.”

The entire time just actually got better and better with the tide going out and a few last sandbars coming out and some people tried digging clams but some of us just went walking feet in the sand, or trailing our feet through the shallow water while others were running with sparklers and some played catch with a football or a frisbee.

I think it was three or closer to four when most of the lightweights were gone or passed out that someone brought out a few sets of fireworks.

Some older guy called Davey had a big portable stereo at one of the bigger fires and was playing tunes for everyone. Really older stuff but still really good and danceable.

Mostly stuff from the seventies that Mom and Dad likes like Cheap Trick and AC/DC and all these other bands.

Cheyenne and I get really tight and close and smiling into each others faces as we dance to *Stuck in the middle with you.* and that led to us finding a spot with a banked down bed of coal and embered logs and grabbing a blanket and settling in together and kissing.

Linked in, projecting and receiving Tuan and Shuan kissing.

Our bodies touching, fingers on skin and this thrill of feeling my touch making her electric and the same for me.

It’s like those eye of the storm thing where the bolt of electricity goes to your fingertip orhand or something...it’s like that but it’s our power and our energy flowing between us.

We deeply, deeply know how good we’re making each other feel and more than that there’s this real awareness of how deep these feeling are going.

And we’re just getting started too.

It’s like I’m catching a glimpse of what real depths there are for people, for us.

It’s not human making out.

I mean it is but there’s so much more.

And we definitely use the blanket and we slip into doubles in second base.

It’s so strange feeling Cheyenne as a girl, but also so...small breasted but so solid. She has those small but the athletic breasts like runners and track pro’s get or like bodybuilders.

And the way her body and muscles shiver under my touch is this strong tremble like...like a racing horse.

Mine are bigger, fuller and softer and they ache, they love being touched and ache for more and more especially as Shy cups them and turns her hands over the skin barely touching and she’s fascinated buy the texture, the weight, the heat of them.

Her wanting to suck them makes them ache and throb even more.

I whine into her mouth during a kiss when she starts to roll and thumb and play with my nipples.

We get to the point where we don’t care about being seen or things we said we’d hold out on and Shy pulls me free and she straddles me and we’re still under the blanket and she sinks down on me with us both gasping and me trying my damndest not to pop right away as she’s cupped my breasts in this perfectly painful not painful squeeze as she was taking me inside of her sweet grip.

There’s nothing like Kaylee or Amy about this, Cheyenne is this hungry hot furnace of need and grip.

Grip like no hand even my own ever could.

It’s like being in no other girl’s ever been like.

And there’s so much this male or rather deep tuan power in this, this whole feeling of her and sex and dominant all in this good way.

F...fuck...I can literally feel her hardness, her clit rubbing against me like she’s...I’m so not the top here, so not anything that’s traditionally guy like doing this either.

She sinks down taking me into her depths, closer to the energy of her core being. Shy rolls her hips, makes her inside muscles there do things that I didn’t know were possible.

I’m the one making the sweet sounds, the gasps, the mewls as she does things to my body and when we hit our peaks we both want more.

Her this aggressive and proud and powerful hungry need and me wanting to fill that, fill her, wash her, bathe her, soothe all of that inside of her.

Comfort her, love her.

It is completely this reversed set of feelings and sensations running though me.

It’s the most intense thing that I have every felt in my life.

All three times that we get there, Shy’s still a girl physically and capable of multiples and me thanks to my unique biology am the same.

Though like this when I get off there’s this not just the release but this rush of feelings and hormones and those sex endorphin things that cascade through me differently than they used to.

It’s so extreme, heightened by my breasts too all that sexual arousal and nerves with that taking my to that utterly different place.

Each one brings a few tears of intensity and makes me literally shaking but in a good way.

Shy’s muscles all tense when she does making her feel wonderfully strong and powerful and ripply.

I’m in her but it feels more like she’s wrapped around me not just in the sexual way but like protective and natural.

Shuan, Shuan I’m definitely feeling what I really am in this intense physical realization.

We’re panting and flushed as we pull apart and snuggle mostly naked under the blanket kissing and sharing the afterglow buzz we’re feeling on two different sides of things and we stay like that until the sun starts to come up.

That and the tide’s coming in and we grab our things and while most people are sleeping we head into the water and we go skinny dipping.

The water is cold and maybe a little too cold but at the same time there’s the sunrise.

And feeling that morning waking of the world.

Which is so much stronger linked up and in the water.

Sunlight hitting all that life in the water, microorganisms and photosynthesis starting up and it really does cascade.

It really is like prayer honestly.

We skinny dip and we swim for a while before coming back onto the beach and we get a few looks from the few still up and few blurry eyes that are just waking up and yeah we’re both naked for a minute or two as we get dressed back into our clothes and while I’m getting more of the shocked looks at my other equipment no one is being an asshole about it.

We’re looking for the others and getting together in a group of family and we all end up walking back to our camping or family beach spot.

Most of the parents are up and there’s food and coffee which I really need but yeah they’re up and doing a headcount.

Mom looks at Cheyenne and me and she has a frown.

“I thought you two weren’t going to.”

I blush and take the coffee Dad offers and Shy looks at mom. “Sorry, it was my idea.”

“Your idea.”

She shrugged and grinned. “Look at them, seriously and add in dancing and everything else.”

She looked at me and I’m holding the hot mug of coffee in both hands.

It’s literally impossible for me not to have the smiling happy rush on my face mixed in with the blush from her looking at me.

Mom looks at us both. “This is not going to be you two living together in the same room in our house. I’m all for you two dating even if it is under our roof but you both are too young for this to get heavy.”

Cheyenne nods. “I’m with you on this, I am, we are we want to take this slow. It’s just last night just happened, it was probably the most perfect moment in my life so far actually.”

I can literally feel how truthful she’s being and I blush even harder and feel my heart get all melty too.

Even though Mom is staring at Cheyenne and she’s staring back and it’s two really strong women taking measure of each other like that.

Dad breaks it up with him giving Mom a coffee and Shy a coffee and looking at her. “C’mon we should start packing and tearing down.”

There was so this guy talk thing coming from that between them and Shy nods and kills the hot coffee in a few gulps and she leaves with Dad.

And Mom’s looking at me.

“So...what is up with you?”

“Shy’s right Mom, this was amazing.”

“Amazing.”

“Not like with the other girls, nothing like being with a girl. And so much like being a girl and yet not.”

“You look like Hillary does after one of those good dates.”

“Honestly I think I feel that way too Mom.”

She drinks some of her coffee and she does this strengthening inhale.

“Alright, details.”

“Mom!”

“Come on, this is different, it’s clearly way different for you than any of your sibs and I want to know things. I want to know how this stuff feels and works for you so we can talk about this stuff in the future.”

“I...I...okay?”

We head to the laundry to help with the others but mostly doing the bedding to get packed away until we get home and stuff and we talk.

We talk mostly about the night and the date and some of the feelings I had during the night and stuff that were building up and that leads to us talking about when Shy and I were intimate.

I blush a lot, she blushes a lot.

But she sort of gets some of that from like Cheyenne’s side of things.

There’s flickers of memories with Dad and a few others when she feels much younger.

And she’s definitely woman enough and regular woman enough to get all the feelings that I had with this.

She almost share some of that stuff.

I get that she has with Hillary but Hill’s older.

But she does share enough that she’s trying to let me know that she kind of gets what I’m trying to share with her.

The others well we’re mostly left alone as there’s a definite vibe of serious mother daughter talk going on.

And it helps that there are numerous people hung over.

Dad’s got Shy with him and the guys and a few of the other butch cousins that wouldn’t be caught dead doing some of the “girly” chores and I don’t mind I’m actually pretty much in this very “She” mood right now.

It is interesting and more than hot to see her work the way she does.

Muscles in that guy but definitely not a guys frame, she changed into jeans and a t-shirt but the shirt isn’t hiding her strength as she muscles with getting the trailers set up and the picnic tables put away.

Seriously she’s like Jax in she grabbed a table just like he did and carried the whole thing to the garage barn with her muscles all taut with the effort.

Mom’s watching her too. “This is going to be so different kiddo neither of you fit into any boxes.”

“Boxes are for cereal Mom. We’re good.”

She looked at me and we hugged and then went to help with other chores and mixed in with all of it were people stopping by to say varied goodbyes that didn’t get to last night and it’s mostly family friends and stuff.

Then by about four in the afternoon we’re all done.

I’m sharing hugs with more of the girl cousins and we’re trading off information and some of us are crying.

I’m crying because I’m closer to a lot of them than ever now and well these danged hormones.

Deidre really gets me going as she seriously stood up for me and had my back this summer.

And then summer was pretty much over and we’re getting packed into the cars and trucks and taking off with horns honking and waving and we head out of town hitting the interstate heading for home in Patterson.

*Before… Stevie.

I lean over and kiss her softly and pouring my sexuality into it a bit.
I feel her vibrate a little her body thrumming.
“I think it’s called something else now babe, Reagan’s not president any more.”
Yep we’re actually that old.
No, we haven’t been out of things that long….I’m just joking.
She smiles and she nods rubbing her forehead against mine.
“At least we got out before Nixon’s head in a jar got elected.”
I laugh a little and we pull out of there heading west again on the highway.
As good as this was…
As amazing as Serra just was…
We’re still on the run and she’s still sitting in the passenger seat going over a handgun and has clips of rounds and boxes of ammo in her lap.
And part of me really hates this.

*And Now…. Stevie.

We try and make as good time as we can while being careful in not getting seen or spotted.

The world has changed.

America has changed definitely and there’s more cameras everywhere and all these different government and state stuff going on.

It’s getting difficult to keep snagging cars or vans and things too.

And not having ID’s isn’t helping us either.

Sure being off the radar is good but it’s rough even getting a place to sleep.

We end up stopping after two days in this town called Wolf’s Creek and we ditched the last van off the road and wiped it down really well.

Then we jogged cross country for thirty miles to the highway and hitched a ride into town.

We’re in luck as we’re getting in there’s a bunch of migrant workers getting ready for early morning pick up for undocumented work in some of the local fields here.

Luckily we both speak perfect Spanish.

So they’re cool with us joining in after we sort of spin a story about getting chased out of town because of my abusive ex.

I’ve still lots of lingering bruises from both the escape and what the good doctor had done.

Scars too which I can tell pisses Serra off.

The farmer was kind of side eyeing us two white girls being there and we spun the same story with a few empathic pushes to get him on our side. Serra shows some of my hurts to him. “Look sir, look at what the fucker did to her….we just need some work, we just need some running cash.”

“Running cash what about the law?”

Serra pushes the poor blue collar feelings. “Fucker’s rich, he’s got the cops in his pocket.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, he’s a lawyer, one of those Leftist hypocrites that is just as bent as they come.”

“Oh one of those types huh?”

“Yessir just as fake as they come.”

He did a big breath. “You speak Spanish, this bunch pretty much speaks nuthin but.”

“Grandpa was a lead hand in the oil derricks down in Texas sir.”

“Okay, you too still gotta work.”

She smiled. “I’m country born sir, used to working hard in the hills sir.”

“Hills?”

“North Carolina sir, that’s why we’re still alive sir. We know how to git out when trouble comes and a storm’s brewing on the mountain.”

“Alrighty then.”

I don’t like lying but with our people it has been a thing that we have always have had to do to survive.

We pile in with everyone else and we head off to the fields to pick tomatoes.

Serra’s right neither of us are strangers to hard work and being able to shift out metabolisms so things are easier helps tones and for Serra it’s even easier as she learns watching the good ones, the older ones as she learns all the tricks and she puts in a lot of energy putting in all the work.

Every flat we get a punch in our tickets.

Each punch is worth a dollar.

Yeah that’s it. There’s six baskets to a flat and even if the farmer is getting a buck each he’s still making five, minus gas and others likely three.

Still that’s like the minimum.

But beggars can’t be choosers and people don’t look for wanted people in the migrant worker’s fields.

I’m good and I’m fast too as long as we keep hydrated we’re actually good. Serra moves like a pro and when she’s done she talks to the boss each time she finishes a row asking if he needs a hand with anything else.

She ends up with a bunch of twist ties to go over the worker rows.

That’s to get the plants standing better to the wires and the rods and to lift the still green ones up so where they’ll be drier and get better light for the next run through.

Me I earn some goodwill by helping the grandmas there and some of the kids finish their rows and fill their flats for their money and I just talk to people.

Rubs some old hands and sooth the hurts and the pains.

One of the abuela’s looks at me smiling wide and whispers in Spanish to me.

“You, you have the touch don’t you my child.”

“Yes abuelita, I have had it all my life.”

“You’re not running from a bad ex are you?”

“No love, the government tried to take my touch. Wanted to use it for evil but we escaped.”

She nods. “You will be safe child. You come and stay with us for some time, we will see you safe.”

I nod and hug her. “Then bring your hurt to us, to me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’d be a poor healer if I didn’t try.”

She kissed my forehead and we went to get some new rows and we keep close, we keep close and it’s mostly the older folk here in the fields talking to me as I help.

I’m not a woman of God but I’m not an unbeliever either.

Some of my folk are just as science based as others but we as a people walked between worlds.

We can literally see good and evil.

For me the universe has forces.

So when I borrow a rosary and say a few prayers to ease a few hurts well.

It’s all for the good.

Though they’re calling me curendera or healer.

I feel better doing this.

This is me, this is what I was supposed to be doing instead of healing those men with the dirty hearts and souls.
*Serra…

Three days after the two assholes at the truckstop and four different vehicles.

Backtracking once and then after another vehicle and another day we sidetracked.

Swiping vehicles is easy for me, as long as it runs or can run I can get it going. I don’t even need keys or a full battery. I can jump it enough to get it running and keep it running at least until it builds a charge to use.

And that’s a big important thing right now older cars that you can “boost” with power like using jumper cables aren’t all computerized like the new ones. You can fry your electronics in these new rigs and mess up the entire car.

But not older cars.

And older cars and stuff aren’t lojacked.

But still we only have so much time before we will get chased and with the agents I took out and from what Stevie has said the people that she healed.

They will want us back.

So it’s back and forth and dumping cars until we decided on this.

Hiding with the people that no one looks at.

Our people have done that since we’ve gotten here.

And now maybe more than ever in America right now people like this are really invisible.

Which helps us right not.

George Brigham the farmer is an alright man.

Not perfect and feeling him out he’s a little racist but not as much as compared to a lot of people that i’ve met over the years.

Balding in his mid fifties he’s just one of those good old boys.

It rolls off of him like a smell.

Leather, earth, wood, hints of whiskey, beer, barbeque, blood and coffee and this sort of overlay of that kinda of low key taint he grew up with that sort of smells like someone was curing fish in a tobacco shed.

It’s all this empathic sort of thing with me, kind of like word association but with my senses.

George is okay, a product of geography and his age.

I’ve smelled worse.

Armbrewster he smelled like a corpse, like a dead body that was left out to rot but only did so partway before he dried up inside, the rest was smoke and booze he was a gin person.

Even him I’ve smelled worse.

I’ve been all over the world.

Had to.

There are people that are literally evil, that are monsters and that evil is so strong you can almost hear the ichor drip.

I know some of them are likely Armbrewster’s masters.

No I don’t know who they are but it’s been all very deep government and all that black ops stuff.

People can say that stuff is fake but some of it isn’t and from what I’ve lived some of these bastards are worse than the stories.

But yeah George was kind of harmless.

I mean in the scale I’ve just been talking to kinda way.

I know that he thinks that Stevie and I are dykes and he’s not really good with that but about three hours into working he’s a lot better with it than he started off being.

Home we do this stuff and Tuanic Masters the older ones that teach us how to use our gifts use work as training.

And with some simple control I just turn off things that make me tired or sore or uncomfortable from the work and I use my gifts to focus on doing the tasks. It’s all hand eye stuff and picking up the little techniques from the other workers and then just dedicating myself to actually doing it.

Most farmers can tell city people, most farmers can tell when people haven’t really done this kind of work.

And when you can do it you get a certain type of social cred.

Stevie is making him look too with her doing her prayer bit too.

I can feel the little bit of confusion at a dyke with faith.

But again there’s that farm town midwest thing about religion too and that is adding to him being good with us.

I get some other duties too and ask george for more stuff to do when the strapping the plants is done and it’s mostly little things but I do that old school not idle thing.

Stevie while doing her woman of the people thing is also giving george a little nudge to looking at her breasts and her ass.

He’s too old for anything and too out of shape honestly but there’s enough of a push to give him a medium boner.

Why?

Because men keep pretty girls around.

Even if nothing is going to happen they like having girls like Stevie around.

She’s also trained too, not really seduction but well...using that has led to us being stable in other covers and in other jobs over the years.

It’s a long day like into nightfall and none of us mind or complain in fact we got a lot of rows and things done.

And some of our new friends invite us home.

It’s a walk from where we were picked up about two miles but when we get there it’s a welcome stop.

America is full of shanty towns like this. It’s a dusty old RV park that lets them use the water and sewer and power at a pretty steep price actually. These places used to be like campgrounds and things way back when more people went places and travelled the back roads now they’re just dusty and rusty and used for money off of the farm workers.

It sounds bad, it does but it’s not at the same time.

It’s a lot of travel trailers and those small airstreams and other versions of it and they’re all sort of this community and they fixed things up as best they can and there’s stuff repainted and patched and there’s strung lights out and people cooking things outside.

There’s some communal showers there too and Stevie has impressed the people enough of her healing cred and what she is that we’re given some extra clothes and some space to shower.

There’s a common area where we all sort of gather and there’s some music being played on guitars and some other instruments as things are being cooked and there’s beers handed out and I take one and I join some of the guys around the grills and we talk.

Stevie is sitting with the grandmothers and she’s has herbs being passed to her and other things and she’s talking with them as she’s making medicines.

That’s a Shuani thing, this powerful and experienced technique where she knows all the medicinal properties of plants and things and she uses power to bring them out.

She makes medicines, does prayer and laying of hands, helps the pain and the arthritic as well as other hurts that she can fix.

Fever, sunburns, light burns, small infections and all of that have no chance vs my girl.

There’s a line.

For a while there’s a line.

Then we’re done for the night as the food is ready and it’s good food too.

Black and pinto beans cooked all day long with onions and garlic that has browned off in porc fat and the whole thing seasoned with a chunk of pineapple and cilantro and cumin.

Some of the fat chunks are still in the beans.

Then there’s salads and that’s pretty much anything that people have done in different styles. I take a little that’s tomatoes and oranges with sweet red onions being sort of cooked or milded by both and a little salt.

Rice, there’s always rice. It’s funny because I’m willing to bet a lot of white people don’t get how many people here use rice cookers like the asians do.

Flour tortillas, corn, these young anaheim chilies that are just tossed in oil and salt and put on the grill.

Meat in mostly pork and chicken and there is organ meat there too and things done in different ways and all of it is pretty good.

I get sausage and yeah it’s homemade likely somewhere else here in camp and something a lot of people not from here would turn their noses up at. Me I’m immune pretty much to food bugs and all of that and I like sausage and I need, really need the fat and the calories.

It’s good too, porc, liver, kidney, probably chopped lung and other things with ground meat and fat with it and some rice and blood to bind it all together and really well seasoned and salted even cured. Whoever made this made it fresh and it cured and hung all day long at least.

I don’t eat them out of house and home. Instead it’s a couple of sausages, a rib chop and the rest is tortillas and beans with a grilled pepper added in and rice to fill it out and sometimes salsa or pico.

We eat and we talk and then we’re given a small tow trailer to stay in and after a lot of talking and explaining things we bed down for the night.
The plan is to stay here and hidden for awhile until the heat dies down and the man hunt becomes to much of a resource to keep going.

You can only field people for so long before it gets expensive on a large scale.

We’re...I’m planning that to be our advantage in this.

When it’s just us and whatever agents they have after us from the facility those are better odds.

I want to do more with Stevie.

I really do but we’re both exhausted.

And right now we’re safe because of her and what she’s doing as a wise one with the gift.

We’ve been just running on fumes for too long.

We’ll get clear, get to Los Angeles and find a safehouse and regroup from there.

Then...then...we’ll find Dylan.

My child.

I almost get swallowed up in how much I miss him as I touch my stomach.

I can’t keep the Mom sob from slipping out as Stevie wraps me in their arms and holds me.

There’s a little emotional nudge that has me turn my face to her’s and she kisses me and the bond between us flares and she’s just softly gives me this swell of love and support like she’s giving me mouth to mouth for my soul.