So, I began to write. Don't ask me where Cthulhu came from, as I'll never talk copper, see.
Sorry, I'm a bit punchy. It's late. I'd intended to write a bit more before I called a first chapter of this done, but I think I should see first if it is at all well received. So, let me know what you all think.
I had been turned down for a job again. It was something simple, but it seemed to take everything out of me. I loosened my tie as I collapsed into the sagging collection of fabric springs and backaches that I called a couch.
It had been another one of those days in a long string of days like that.
My girlfriend of ten years had left me on a day like that, taking my dog with her. She said something about the dog I won't repeat here, suffice it to say I didn't want him anymore after she told me.
Apparently I had commitment issues or something. I told her that she had intimacy issues. She really got pissed at that remark. She took my mom's china, my grandparent's silverware, and a good chunk of my dignity.
All I got left with was her cat.
Funny that. I'd never been much of a cat person. Still wasn't if truth be told. But there was no way I was throwing any living creature out on the street, and least not before I found myself there myself.
I really didn't think that was very far off at this point.
I'd been out of work for a year at this point, and I despaired of ever getting a job in my chosen profession.
I was a professional geek.
No, not a circus performer, a computer geek. In the past ten years I'd molded myself into a problem solving machine. A computer tech bar none. A real wunderkind. Too bad the wunderkind was more wunder than kind.
Yeah, I know. I'm old for the industry at 34 years. I had an okay phone demeanor, but I kept getting myself in trouble with my big mouth. I would tell one too many people what I really thought of their inability to double click on a #$% #@#$%@ icon on their. . .
Yeah, I've got anger issues.
I blame the testosterone.
I blame my mother.
I blame everything but myself, or at least I did until that day I'd been turned down for a job once again.
So, I slip of my tie and toss it across the room to hang from the front door knob. One of the things I've spent so much time practicing it looks, and feels natural. I think it is the years I spent putting a ball through a hoop in high school and college, well before I dropped out to become a computer geek.
I thought I was about to hit the big time. I got an MCSE in Windows 95, and I was the big man on campus. . .for a couple months until Windows 98 came out, and then ME and 2000 and XP. I never got another MCSE.
I figured they were worthless after the first one got me a job with people better qualified with less schooling.
I am rambling. Sorry. It's just, ok, let me start over. this was the day that everything changed.
So, I'd had an interview with an internet service provider, or ISP for those in the know, wink wink, and they told me I was under qualified for their entry level position.
I didn't think it was too much of a problem. I'd gotten to chat up the cute brunette who was sitting there waiting for the interview after me. I'd felt pretty confident going into the interview, because I knew my stuff so much better than the brunette, and it made me feel. . .hopeful.
So, I go out to my car, waiting for a bit for the brunette to come out. I'm there an hour and nothing. About this point I've had enough so I call her number, yeah she gave it to me. Yeah, I'm that smooth.
"I'm so sorry you didn't get the job. They offered it to me on the spot."
"Hey, maybe we could hang out sometime."
"Maybe not. I only gave you my number so you could put in a good word for me if you got the job."
Ouch, yeah, I'm not as smooth as all that.
So, I drove home without any further mood destroyers, sit on the couch, loosen my tie, and throw it on the door knob.
The cat comes in the open window, back from wherever cats go when they leave their domain, and hops up on my lap demanding attention.
"Well, at least you haven't abandoned me yet."
Human's are so stupid, thinking they rule this place.
"What?"
Um, Cthulhu. . . Meow.
"Ok, Mr. Nibs, I heard you speak."
Meow. He batted my hand with his head.
"Look, I heard you invoke the name of Cthu. . .
Human, if you know what's good for you, you wont invoke his name aloud.
"This isn't a Lovecraft novel."
No, Its reality. Lovecraft was a psychic, much like you seem to be becoming. He talked to his cats.
"I've finally gone insane. I'm talking to a cat about the great old one Cthu. . ."
Mr. Nibs scratched me. Unlike most humans, you've actually heard Cthulhu's name pronounced, even if it was only in your mind. You are now capable of giving it the proper inflection.
"You are looking at me like you really are speaking to me."
Mr. Nibs made a growling noise and then pounced me. He was big for a cat, but that makes him small to me. However, the shock of it all caused me to lie flat on the couch and next thing I knew I was looking up into his angry green eyes as he gave me the dressing down of a lifetime.
Listen up, Mouse. You are even pathetic by human standards. Of course none of you will ever achieve the perfection that is cat, but some of you come awfully close.
"Mouse?"
Yeah, cause you talk a big game but when push comes to shove you're mostly bones and skin and gone in a single bite.
The way he was looking at me made me shiver.
We give animal names to our humans. Makes them seem a little more. . .real to us that way. You have the second worst name we give a human.
"What's the worst?"
Do you even really have to ask?
He had a valid point.
Because I never listened to my mom, and took up swearing, I now have a problem on my hands, namely you. You have it within your ability to destroy the entire world with a single misspoken world. I think I'm just going to have to kill you.
"There's got to be another way," Notice my state of mind at this point. I didn't even question the talking cats ability to follow through on his threat.
Let me think on it. You are pretty good at living up to your only reason for existence, scratching me behind my ears. Much better than Dog. And to think I once almost considered calling her Cat. Foul betray. . .ah
I figured at this point if I let him get worked up, that I was screwed, so I scratched and rubbed as if my life depended on it, which at that point I believed it did.
I realized as I was scratching and rubbing that Mr. Nibs had a point. A pretty good point. A valid point.
I was impotent, I know, bat word to apply to a guy, but life makes things like that seem unimportant, and it is the most fitting word.
It was the reason I was angry. I was pissed at myself for letting the world have its way with me. I was not out going enough. I let others pump me for information.
I presented this manly image to the world, when in reality, I was just a mouse. A timid, worthless little mouse.
I then thought of the cute brunette who'd gotten the job today instead of me.
I continued to think through my problems as I skritched and scratched and groomed Mr. Nibs.
"At least if I were a girl, my mousy behavior would be accepted, and might even get me more opportunities."
That's IT! You're a genius!
A sudden feeling of dread came over me. What had I said? I reviewed my thoughts for the last thirty seconds, and my dread became a cold stone of fear in my stomach. I'd said the thought aloud, and never intended to voice anything like it.
I liked being a man, damn it. Really liked it. I didn't want. . .didn't. I looked over at Mr. Nibs, and his eyes were glowing green. They were hypnotic in a way, and I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier.
The last thing I heard before the darkness consumed me was, Damn it, Feracles. I've told you before that you are not to perform magic without supervision until you are at least a thousand years old.
Momma?
A memory of the evening before burst through my consciousness and I screamed. It was a very girly scream, which tore another one from my throat.
"No, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening. I can't be a woman. What will my landlord think? What will my MOM think? I can't handle this."
At that moment, I realized that there was something else I needed to handle if I didn't want to turn my couch into a swimming pool.
I handled it as best I could without the man parts I was so used to, flushed, and just sat there not moving.
My life as I knew it was over. This all had to be a dream.
"Yes, it's a dream, and this freaky, and somewhat sexy, female voice I'm speaking with is all in my imagination."
It's not a dream, Mouse honey.
Now, since I haven't described him, you wouldn't know that the completely white Persian that walked into my bathroom at that point wasn't Mr. Nibs. Besides, the voice in my head sounded distinctly matronly.
Mr. Nibs is also a Persian, but with more orange and grey to his coloration.
My son the daft child he is decided to curse you.
"Can't you un curse me?"
Ok, cackling in your head is really creepy.
Unfortunately, he botched the fifth couplet of the fifth stanza. Basically, that means we have to await a greater convergence to be able to cancel this spell.
"And when is the next convergence thingy?"
If this were a story, this is the part where she would tell me that I have to wait a week, or a month, or six months or something and all will be right in the world.
Oh, there's not going to be another one in your lifetime. The last one was last night, which was the only reason he was able to complete the spell without killing himself.
"What!?"
My son named you well, Mouse.
I collapsed to the floor saying 'no' over and over.
I repeated it to myself, and kept hoping I'd wake up. I began to sob and I kept saying it.
There there, honey. I've given Mr. Nibs the worst punishment that cat kind can ever receive. I changed his true name to be his human name.
She rubbed her body against my bare leg and purred, speaking soothing words to my mind.
I had a funny though, which I shared with her. "You look like SPECTRE's cat."
I was SPECTRE's cat.
Wow, I had a real life Bond girl in my apartment. I laughed hysterically at my bad joke.
It'll be okay, Mouse. You'll see.
"How will it be okay, huh? I'm a girl. I have no ID. I have no proof of my skills. I'm done. My life is over."
Your old life is over, Mouse. Your new life is just beginning.
I shook my head and stood to run my face under some water. It felt flushed and puffy.
The face in the mirror was mine, and yet it wasn't. I could see the similarities to myself there, but mostly there were differences. Like my hair and eyes. They were my grandmother's red and green. I even had a bit of her complexion now. White as milk and smooth as cream she used to say in the long ago days of my youth.
Even at eighty when she died she hadn't had a wrinkle. . .
"Oh my. . .It can't be. Can it?"
What's that dear?
"My Gran was a Mouse, wasn't she? You turned her from a man into a woman too!"
Of course not. Never speak ill of the dead. Your Gran simply had great genes for a human. Some of you do. When my idiot of a son turned you into a woman, he simply tapped a bit into your inheritance.
"I can't handle any more of this. I'm leaving."
Wait, you can't go out like this. At least let me explain. . .
But I was done listening. Seeing my Gran's face in the mirror had given me an idea. If anyone would believe me, it was Mom, and two heads were better than one in coming to solutions about life's little problems.
I snorted at this. Only one morning as a girl and already I was calling it a little problem. As I began to dwell on it, I realized thinking it a little problem was a coping mechanism and moved myself mentally from the brink.
I slipped myself into my car, and spend the next thirty minutes driving my way to my Mom's house going no faster than the speed limit.
Luckily I got there without being pulled over, and went up to ring the bell. Usually I just walked in, but this time. . .
"Brad, you know you don't need. . .Mom?" Her eyes got wide, and I figured she thought she was seeing a ghost.
"No, Mom, it's me, Brad."
She fainted dead away. That could have gone better.
You never know what you have 'til it's gone. That is never more true than when you truly ignore all the good things in your life, and suddenly it's not your life any more.
One of the things I was really missing right now was my casual strength. If I were still in my old body, it wouldn't have been an issue to lift the unconscious body of my mother up off the floor and move her to the couch, or even the bed in her room.
As it was, I'm amazed that I didn't break something with all the pushing and pulling that was necessary to get her just inside the house enough to close the door.
As I was closing said door, a cream, gray, and rust colored blur slipped in.
You really should have let my mother finish explaining things, Mouse.
"So, you're now blaming me for my mother being unconscious?"
Of course. The human mind isn't resilient enough to handle magic. Why do you think none of your kind never was able to do any?
"So, I take it witches never really existed? That's good to know."
Weeeell
"Well, what?"
It wasn't the witch who was doing magic, per se. . .
I started laughing, with that touch of a hysterical tone to it, again. I was insane. That was it, insane. I would wake up in a padded cell and I would be Brad again.
Snap out of it man!
"If you'll remember I'm no longer a man, Mr. Nibs."
Don't say that!
"Say what?"
My name. Don't say it aloud. It feels weird when someone speaks your True Name, and you could give other cats power over me.
"It didn't seem to bother you before. . ."
That's because it wasn't my true name before. Mom changed it on me.
"Wait, how can a true name change? Isn't it supposed to reflect your core being or something?"
What are you talking about? Of course a true name can change. I mean, how else are you supposed to get your exes off your back? You humans and your concepts of permanence. A true name is simply a way to invoke someone, you know, get their attention.
"So, naming Cthulu. . .oh crap."
Nah, I changed your brain chemistry which made it so the imprint of the true name no longer worked for you. You have to imprint a true name to invoke it. Mom gave you my true name, I think because she wanted me to try and fix this as much as I could.
"So, basically, no matter where you are, when I say Mr. Nibs. . ."
Mr. Nibs shook himself and glared at me. Yes, I know where you are, and that you're calling. This is so humiliating. To be at the beck and call of a human. Makes me feel so much like. . .a dog.
He wailed a bit, and I felt my mom stirring next to me.
"Bradly Emerson Card, why do you look like a woman, and why are you talking to that cat?"
Oh, crap. Mom's pissed
"Mom, um, well, you see, apparently I can hear cat's thoughts, and they're a lot more complicated than you'd think, and well, um, Nibs here kinda turned me into a girl."
She was out like a light again.
Like I said, the human mind can't handle magic.
"Then how come I'm not gibbering in a corner somewhere."
Remember the witches you mentioned earlier?
"Yeah. . ."
It was all this misunderstanding on the part of humans. You see it's the human who is the familiar, not the cat. You, my friend, are a familiar.
"Um, okay?"
You're basically catnip on two legs. Most of you never actually awaken enough to be able to actually talk, but you're all pleasant to be around.
"But, I don't even like cats."
That's never stopped us before. So, back to my almost story. In times past we used our magic to protect our familiars, and since all you people are way to humanocentric you all thought it was the familiar doing the magic. It unfortunately led to a lot of you getting killed.
"But why? I mean, if you did magic openly back then, how come humans can't even comprehend it now."
Look, it's probably that practical human mind you all are always going on about. Mostly cats just go with it, and live with the consequences. We don't need to know the why, only that it is a fact that we deal with.
"So the only people who are going to be able to hear my story without freaking out or totally discounting it as fiction. . ."
Other familiars? That's about the size of it.
"My Gran was a familiar, wasn't she?"
Now she gets it. Mom mentioned your inheritance after all.
"Then why isn't my mom. . ."
Look, I'm tired of answering questions, you want to do your job while we wait for your mom to wake up, again?
He plopped himself in my lap, and I began to skritch and scratch away at his neck and ears. I paid attention to what I was doing this time, and I could feel a sort of energy sparking along my fingertips. Nothing huge, and easily overlooked, but there none the less.
Mr. Nibs purred at me, oh, yeah. Right there. Purr-fect.
"That was a really bad pun."
My mom was beginning to get up again. "Brad?"
"Yeah, Mom."
"And you're now somehow a woman?"
"Yes, Mom."
"And if we go into it again I'm probably going to faint?"
I nodded with a little smile.
"Reminds me of some conversations I had with your Gran, actually. You look so much like her now."
"Apparently it's my inheritance." My half smile faded thinking of the other parts of my inheritance that were gone.
"Still thinking of the stuff Julia stole from you?"
"Yeah, the police still have no leads on her location, and she hasn't pawned it yet."
"I'm sorry sweetie. Well, I can look at you now without my mind going for a little trip, so why don't you help your mother up off the floor."
I unceremoniously dumped Mr. Nibs on the floor as I was getting up and he wailed at me.
"Well, excuse me, your highness, you'll just have to get over me having other things to do."
"Brad, were you really having a conversation with that cat earlier?"
I helped Mom to sit on the couch before answering.
"Yes," I said cautiously.
"Ok, I figured as much. Your Gran used to do that all the time. Some people even thought she might be a witch."
I chuckled at this, well I tried to chuckle, but it came out more high pitched and tittering. I giggled, okay.
"Well, you seem to be adjusting well. Better than I thought you would. And you look so young."
"I think it's the face. Gran always looked years younger than she was."
"You could easily pass as eighteen or nineteen."
"What are you getting at, Mom."
"You should go back to college, dear."
"Not this again, Mom. We've been over it. I'm too old. . ."
"Bradly Emmerson Card! Do not take that tone of voice with me young lady. You are never too old to get your education. And you don't look too old anymore."
"But, I have no records, no birth certificate. Nothing."
She gave me a little smirk. "Actually, we have everything we need to get started."
"Wha. . ?"
"A couple of years ago, on the insistence of one of my genealogy friends, I had a false birth certificate issued"
"How?"
"Well, certain counties were a little slow getting their records computerized. If you knew which states and counties were like that, you could. . .finesse the system a little. No details, but I had a record of live birth created for a female child that died within days of birth. The child would be seventeen now."
"Mom, if she's dead. . ."
"The child never existed. The clerk took my word for it as a registered genealogist."
"Mom! I'm shocked at your duplicity."
"I always felt a little guilty about it. I had done this before when I had ample evidence of a birth, and the birth certificate did not exist, but I'd never been dishonest about it."
"So, what you're saying, is that we have a birth certificate for a seventeen year old that doesn't exist."
"Yep."
"I don't know if I can be seventeen again, mom. All the angst and such. Especially now that I'm a girl."
"Oh stop. You know you'll enjoy having this part of your life back. And maybe you can even start playing basketball again."
And just like that, my happy mood was gone. The real reason I'd dropped out of school was that I couldn't take the looks of pity any more.
"Mom, you know I can't play anymore."
"You couldn't play anymore. Now? How do we know unless you try?"
"But I'm so out of practice."
"Tell you what. Let's see if some of your sisters old clothes fit you, since you look ridiculous in those slacks and that white button shirt, and then we'll go try and get a social security card issued for your birth certificate. When we're done with that, we'll shoot some hoops and see what you have in you."
A thought occurred to me, "Mom, if I'm seventeen, aren't I going to need a parent or legal guardian along with me?"
"About that. . .I told the clerk I needed it for one of my own children."
I blinked at her. "You mean. . .you're still my mom?"
"I know, weird, right."
You humans and your paper trails. If you'd been born a cat this would never have been a problem.
"O hush, you."
Mom looked at me quizzically, but didn't say anything. I shrugged. What else could I do?
We walked upstairs to my youngest sister's room. Well actually, if I was only seventeen, then she was a year and a half older than me.
That was a little weird to think about.
Mom began throwing clothing at me for me to try on. I have to admit I had no idea what I was doing, or what the pieces of cloth and lace were called.
First things first, though. I stripped out of my clothing and got a good look at my body for the first time since this change.
I wasn't half bad looking.
Mr. Nibs saw my appraising glances and broke into my thoughts, Hey, what did you expect? Cats are perfect after all.
He began grooming himself in the doorway. I snorted at his comment.
The panties fit rather nicely. Apparently all she'd left behind were bikini cut in cotton. Oh well, I could live with a purple behind, especially if no one ever saw it. I was too used to my underwear being white, and a lot looser. I was a boxers man. Silk I'll have you know.
I completely forgot my panties in my efforts to get my bra situated.
No, clasping it in the back wasn't a problem for me, and no I'm not saying why. It was the fit. My breasts felt like they were either smooshed, pinched, or both.
"Mom!" I exclaimed when she reached up to try adjusting it.
"Hush, you're my daughter now. I have a pair of my own and I've never been attracted to them."
She tugged and adjusted leaving me blushing all the way to my toes before she shook her head, "Oh well, it will have to do 'til we can get you out to the store to buy some more."
"There's no way I'm wearing this, Mom." I said holding the denim skirt up to my waist, "It's way too short."
"you're not a man anymore, honey. A lot of your clothing will be worn down here," she illustrated by moving the skirt down to my hips.
She realized I would be showing about an inch and a half of panty over the top and went rummaging through the drawers and pulled out a ribbed cotton tank top in a pale green.
It hugged me like a second skin and went all the way down below my hips, almost to the bottom of my behind actually.
I slipped up the skirt, and I have to say that the look wasn't half bad. I slipped on a denim half jacket, or at list that's how it felt. It probably came down to just above my waist.
Good look on you, Mouse. I can tell you that there will be a lot of guys out there wanting to play Predator and Prey.
I blushed again, and my body got in on the act again.
I slipped on some short crew socks and a pair of dark flats. My mom pulled my hair into a ponytail at the back of my head, and I have to admit; I really didn't look bad.
Not only that, but I looked a bit like a seventeen year old. Ok, one who was dressed by her Mom. I needed to figure out what seventeen year olds were wearing these days so I could begin to form my own sense of style.
I was still a bit uncomfortable with how short the skirt was. I'd say how far above my knees it came if it wasn't easier to say that it only came about five inches below my behind. Did I mention that I'm a bit taller than my sister still?
And I think my butt was bigger, or at least looked like it from my current angle.
My breasts were definitely a little bigger, which made me happy. My sister's were always too small for my taste.
My mom retrieved my keys from my pants pocket.
"Mom!"
"You're much too young for a beamer now, Annalyce."
"Annalyce?"
"Your new name, Annalyce Brianna Card."
"My initials are ABC!!!!"
"Well, you'll just have to marry someone with a last name beginning with something other than C then, honey." She realized what she'd just said and her mouth dropped open.
"I'm so sorry, dear. That just slipped out."
"Yeah, don't think it hasn't occurred to me. I get to play catcher from now on."
"You haven't played catcher before have you?" Mom asked me with a shrewd look.
"Mom!? I can't believe you asked me that!"
"Annalyce, think of it from my point of view. She was kind of butch and, well, you know."
"Forceful and oversexed?"
"Exactly. Your dad was convinced she was a transvestite or something. Said her jaw line was too strong."
"Same thing could be said about, Sarah, Mom."
"You shouldn't talk about your sister that way, even if it's true, Annalyce," she said with a giggle.
I try not to wince. "Mom, if I have to be called Annalyce or Brianna the rest of my life, I'll shoot myself."
She lost her smile instantly, "honey, you wouldn't"
"No, I wouldn't. I can't imagining my life actually getting bad enough that I seriously consider suicide. It's a figure of speech."
"How 'bout Anna, then? It's in both your names."
I made a face of disgust.
"Mom, just call me Abbie."
"Huh?"
"AB, Ah Be, Abbie."
She blinked at me and then smiled, "that is so you, I mean the old. . .you know what I mean."
"Yes, Mom. I know exactly what you mean."
Back in the day I'd been the nickname king, self appointed of course. I could come up with an appropriate, and unique, nickname for anyone. Well, looks like I just did it for myself.
The skirt let me feel how my hips swayed, and it was distracting to say the least. I tried to stop it a couple of times as I went down the hall, but it was so uncomfortable that I just let it go.
Me-yeow! If you were a cat. . .
"Don't even go there, Mr. Nibs."
Stop doing that!
"What? Mr. Nibs?"
Mr. Nibs caterwauled at the top of his lungs so I felt it was about time that I Left him to his own devices. Besides. It was about time I started making my new persona legal.
Besides, I'm sure that none of you really wanted to hear about how Mouse stood in line for three hours so she could be told to fill out a form and then wait in line for another three hours so she could be told it would come in the mail within two weeks.
Her social security card that is.
See, how hard was that. Two paragraphs and done.
If I'd let Mouse tell it, we'd be here tomorrow waiting for her to describe the exact shade of the jumper the lady behind the counter was wearing or some such.
Honestly, can you imagine a less efficient manner of. . .
"Feracles, honestly. You and I have some unfinished business to take care of." I looked around the house quickly, not seeing my Mom in the immediate vicinity, I began to 'groom' myself. I figure she'd get the message eventually and leave me in peace.
"Feracles!"
Have I mentioned yet how much I hate static electricity? Oh, that's right, this is the first time it's been my POV as it were.
Mom zapped me in me bum. Yes, I think in a bad English accent.
"Pay attention. You know I made a blood pack with Eloise Pritchard to look after all of her kith and kin. And the first opportunity you get you turn her grandson into her granddaughter. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Look, he caught me by surprise and I said Cthulu."
"You WHAT! Have you begun worshiping with that destroyer cult again! So help me I'll bring you back into the arms of Bast if I have to rend you limb from limb to do it!"
"Mother!"
"Whining isn't becoming of a cat. Have you been spending too much time with humans? Have you forgotten what it truly means to be a cat?"
"Oh, no. Not again mom. Please tell me you're not going to do what I think you're going to do."
"No, not this week. Your brother never recovered when I did it to him. He was never the same cat again."
Ok, that was a close one. Mom was a really powerful operator, and she was able to pull off spells that made the rest of us look like minute old kittens.
It really made me wonder why she'd lied to mouse about. . .
"Shhh, you daft boy. Spoilers are unbecoming of a Cat. Those are for hack writers and dead refrigerators."
"Um, Mom? Are the refrigerators spoilers themselves, not the generators of said spoilers?"
"It's not nice to contradict your mother."
When she gets like this there's no arguing with her, so I didn't even try.
"Ok, Mom. So, what is my punishment then?"
"You get to be Mouse's permanently. You are going to watch over her until such time as she's not a danger to herself or others."
"You mean until she's DEAD! You've got to be kidding!"
"Nope, and she better die of natural causes, or I will be following through on my earlier 'threat'."
I was about to hop over to where she currently was, but a final thought stopped me.
"She must never know the true nature of that spell, Feracles. Do you understand me?"
I gulped, and then responded to her. "I understand mom."
How do I get myself into these things. Seriously. All I was doing was getting a good scratch behind the ears and poof; my entire world is thrown topsy-turvy. Leave it to humans to complicate a good ear scratch.
Speaking of which, I felt the need for a good scratching coming upon me.
I hopped right into Mouse's lap.
"Now, Mouse, before you cry out, these people will think it's perfectly natural for me to be here."
/What? Why not make yourself invisible?/
"Simple, because it is easier to trick a human to ignore you, than it is to trick light to ignore you. Light has a much longer attention span. It's very cat-like in that regard."
Mouse snorted at me. They were in the middle of their second wait to go up to the counter. The room was furnished in 'Institutional: for public consumption' manner. Meaning hard plastic chairs, beige walls, and no AC to speak of. A small fan oscillated on a counter, just keeping the air moving enough so that you realized how hot it was.
Basically it felt like Lucifer designed the place and then decided it was too cruel even for him.
So, I'm overheating in my long winter coat, but getting the scratching of a lifetime. I don't know what it is, but a scratch by a really hot woman is so much better than one from a man. Well, at least I think so.
She finally gets called up, so I decide to ride up there on her shoulders. She talked human to the lady behind the counter, and realized it would be two weeks before she could get another card, and not until after that would she be able to get a new ID. She had time enough. She was only seventeen after all, or as soon as she got that ID she would be.
"Feracles!?"
Crap, I wasn't supposed to say that. I've gotta run before my mom really let's me have it. Ciao
"Mom, how could you do this?" I asked looking at the birth certificate in my hand. "This just feels so wrong. Sure, it makes my life a little easier, but seriously. It's against the law."
"Actually, your using it is the only point where we broke the law. See, as long as the county provides it to me, and I only give it for the use of the person depicted, then at worst it is a failure to follow procedure on the part of the county recorder."
She got a thoughtful look on her face, "Actually, now that I think of it, you are only breaking the law if they can prove that an ID is false, and the burden of proof is on the government."
"Wait, so, since it is impossible to prove I'm anyone else, they have to accept this as mine? Especially since no one else can claim it?"
"I'm no lawyer, but from what I know of the situation. . ."
I looked at Mr. Nibs who was sitting in the back seat and grooming himself. "You did this didn't you?"
'Actually, I think your mom is correct. The only reason ID systems even work in the first place is the supposed infallibility of the issuing agency. If the issuing agency recognizes you as the person they are identifying, then it is their responsibility to repudiate their own identification, which in this case, is impossible.'
I didn't feel right about this, but I was outnumbered two to one. I had a completely legal birth certificate, even if it was issued under false pretenses. I had requested the issuing of a Social Security card and number. Soon I would have a new drivers. . .
"I have to take my driving test again!?"
"It's worse than that, Abbie. You have to take driver's ed again. Oh, and get your GED."
This just kept getting better and better.
We drove home, as I really wasn't feeling up to my first foray into the mall, since I'd just found out that I would be losing all of my credentials in the world. I needed something that would make me feel. . .in touch with my life.
Since it will be important for the story at this point, I guess I have to relive the most painful memory I have.
About fourteen years ago, I was on a basketball scholarship. I was damn good at what I did. When other kids went camping with their dads, I practiced basketball. While they played video games, I played basketball. All four years of high school, I played basketball.
There is a certain amount of physical ability that is inborn talent. The rest is perseverance.
I usually hit 1 in 2 two point shots during game conditions, and 2 in 5 out in three point land. Sure, that wasn't in the NBA, but it was during my college career. I'd promised my mom that I would finish college before going on to the NBA. What is so stupid, is that I never would have been on that bicycle in that intersection if I'd never made that promise to my mom.
I was clipped by a Fed Ex truck. Well, that is how the cops recorded the incident.
Yeah, I got a settlement from the company, but it was barely enough to cover medical bills. They had to rebuild my right knee. They told me that it wouldn't stand up to the punishment of playing a full game.
I didn't believe them and was out on the court as soon as I healed up. It almost exploded on me when I came down from a rebound in practice.
Yea, I used the other half for the second reconstruction.
Mom had promised to pay for the rest of my schooling, but I'd dropped out as mentioned before. Without the need to keep up my grades to play, I had no incentives to go to school anymore.
Yeah, I recognize how immature I was acting.
So, we got home, inflated the ball up to regulation pressure, and went out to my old friend the hoop.
I wanted to see if I still had it, so I began sinking free throws. No, I meant sinking them. Outside of games I usually hit somewhere around 992 per 1000 shots. Yes, I kept track when it mattered.
I began walking around inside the three point line. Flat footed, I was able to get about 3 in 4. I took a deep breath, and began doing jump shots. That little extra height made the difference and I was hitting closer to 7 in 9.
I smiled at that. My mom was rebounding for me, so I really started warming up. Evasion drills. Layups. Hook shots. Then I started playing HORSE with myself. I used to do that for hours. Setting up impossible shots, and then making them twice.
I hadn't felt this alive in years. I leapt up to try and grab the rim. . .
"You've got to be kidding me!"
I couldn't jump high enough. Apparently, even though I had the muscle memory, either the loss in a couple of overall inches in height, or simply being out of shape, I couldn't even get within a foot of the rim.
"Honey, I don't think there are many female players who can dunk."
The cool air on my legs felt good, as I walked in drenched in sweat, and then something occurred to me. I'd been doing jump shots in a loose, oh so short, skirt.
I blushed all the way to my toes.
'If I were a man, I can tell you it would have gotten MY motor running. The only thing that would have made it better, from my perspective, would be if you had a nice hairy tail, Mouse.'
I made a swipe for him with my foot, but catlike he hopped out of the way. Shaking my head I went upstairs for a couple of towels and went into the bathroom. I showered, feeling better for the exercise, and squeezed myself into another tiny bra.
"Mom! I want to go bra shopping."
"Ok, Abbie dear. We can do that tomorrow."
I walked down and showed her the current bra I was wearing. She took one look at the flesh pouring over the top and changed her tune. "Ok, get a shirt on and let's head out to get you some bras."
We drove to the mall, and I followed my mom into a small boutique. The dressing area was screened from the front, and I would be able to parade the bras for my mother without worrying about anyone from outside the store seeing me.
The pretty blonde saleswoman turned to me as soon as we got to the back.
"Would you feel more comfortable if I measured you out here, or in the dressing room?"
"I don't know. . .I've never been measured for a bra."
"Well, you'll have to take off the one you're wearing."
"Um, uh." I blushed red. Crimson. I just kept blushing.
"Ok, we'll do it in the dressing room."
I stripped off the tee shirt, and then the bra. "Well, we know you're not a 34A."
She measured me just under my breasts making sure the tape was snug. "Let your arms fall to your sides please."
Then she measured across my nipples. I made sure to keep my arms down this time.
"Well, you fall right between a 36B and a 36C, so we'll try a couple of different brands for each size. You'll probably feel most comfortable in a padded 36C, but we'll have to see."
"Un, I was wondering, well, do they come in front clasp?"
"Of course. I'll get those for you."
So, I tried on bras, paraded them for my mom, and then tried on others. I have to say, whomever invented the front closure was a genius. They were actually the most comfortable fit of any of the bras I tried.
So, I ended up getting the 36C bras, each of them with the front closure. Some of them even had lace on them. It was itchy, but my mom said that it was pretty on me, so I figured I might as well pick it up.
I was walking out of the store when it hit me. I'd just purchased something because I looked pretty in it. I really hoped that wouldn't become a habit.
Mom started heading for the car, but I called a halt to that.
"Mom, since we're here already, I figure I at least need some workout clothing. I don't want to flash everyone every time I go for a jump shot."
"Well, I have to admit that would probably be a good idea."
And so began my first foray into shopping. We would no sooner finish one store when we would realize there was something else we just had to have.
It wasn't until the third time I saw my mother in a dress that was absolutely her that I realized I was having a good time. I also realized I was being very girly.
'Took you long enough to notice.'
"What did you do to me?"
'Other than change you into a girl? Nothing'
"Wasn't that enough? I am going all girly."
'Going girly? There's nothing going about you and girly,'
I glared at him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of admitting he might be right.
No, not that I wanted to be a girl or anything.
But, I was kind of taking a back seat role to my entire life waiting for someone to come in and sweep me off my feet and lead me into. . .something. I'd never gotten much further than that before realizing that guys didn't get knights in shining armor.
I mean was it too much to ask to have a pretty female knight in shining armor?
It was at that moment that I realized I hadn't thought about sex once since I woke up this morning.
I know, shining armor and sex, perfect segue.
Anyway, before this whole mess, you may remember that I tried to pick up the girl who was trying out for the same position I was going for. I had a healthy libido. Sometimes it was a little too healthy..
Now, on the other hand? I felt literally neutered. I couldn't seem to think of anything that excited me.
Look, I admit that I've read my share of erotica online, and some of it even included characters who were changed suddenly from males into females and proceeded to have sex with everything on two legs.
Some of it was a lot more circumscribe, but they always went out for sex.
Not one had I ever read where they were changed and just not interested any more.
"Hey, what the. . ."
'Language, young lady.'
I glared at him. "Mr. Nibs."
'That wasn't nice!'
I was completely knocked off my train of thought but something that occurred to me. "Mister Nibs."
He cringed, but then relaxed, 'What in the world? How did you. . ?'
"Simple, I change how I thought of your name. Apparently I change the symbol image of the sound in my head and it changes how I say it."
Mr. Nibs body language suddenly changed. He almost looked afraid.
'I just realized that I had a pressing engagement elsewhere.'
And with that Mr. Nibs disappeared from the store.
"Mother! We've got a huge problem!"
I sent out my feelers into the aether trying to find a trace of his mother somewhere.
"I really hope this is important as you just interrupted one of my rites to the goddess."
"Mouse understands the difference between knowing a true name and saying a true name."
"What!? That is so not good. How could you have done this to us, Feracles. This hasn't happened. . ."
"Since Merlin? I know. I know. Even working with our familiar Mab we were unable to bring him to heel."
Mother took a deep breath and let it out, "all may not be lost, Mr. Nibs. Merlin was just a man, and he was called a fish long before his awakening."
"Good thing we never told HIM that or we could have had really big problems."
A thought occurred to me, "Funny how people think that Merlin was the good guy."
"Shhh. We have bigger problems than that right now."
"Mom, I think that Mouse is mostly harmless. As long as she just thinks it's a onetime occurrence than were fine. She's already regressed herself into the mindset of a seventeen year old girl. There was only one moment where she realized how weird it was."
"That is the problem, Feracles. She recognized something was wrong. As time goes on, she will recognize more and more things that simply don't fit. Hopefully she hasn't noticed that the birth certificate was a little too convenient."
"What?!"
"Of course, dear. I arranged that. I did a minor temporal adjustment."
"Mother! All I did was a physical entanglement and you just about skinned me alive. What did the goddess Bast have to say about this?"
Mother had the decency to act embarrassed. "Why do you think I was in the middle of penance rites when you called me?"
"Oh, fourteen pure white doves. I should have known."
"It's comments like that which make me realize there is still hope for you yet, even if you are male."
I hiss at my mother, and leave her to her rites. How can she help me with this when she has broken one of the cardinals. I realize if I am to save reality from itself, then I'm going to have to do it on my own. . .
After a short nap. This sunny rock is so comfortable.
When Mr. Nibs took off so quickly, I knew there was a rat somewhere. I was beginning to think that the rat had a very feline appearance as well.
"Mom, I'm not feeling well all of a sudden."
"Was it something to do with, you know."
"Changing into a girl?"
"I was going to say your period, but that works too."
"Why would that come to mind?"
"Well, it was about this same time four weeks ago."
"Mom, four weeks ago I was a guy."
"I know dear, but we can never be too careful."
I had no idea what she heard, but it definitely wasn't what I was saying.
"Mom, I really need you to be strong enough to understand me. You are strong enough to understand me. I don't really care what Mister Nibs said."
"Why was I thinking you might be having a period, Brad? Oh, Abbie. Sorry. That was so weird."
"How old am I, Mom?"
"Now I don't feel so well. Let's go home, Abbie."
We paid for our purchases and carted everything out to the car. Then we made our way to the car and I drove us home. Right now I didn't care that I didn't have a legal license. My Mom wasn't feeling well enough to drive, and I could feel 'reality' trying to reassert itself.
I had to hold onto the fact that I was a man, who had been turned into a woman. I could feel reality trying to bounce back.
It occurred to me that the main reason that humanity could no longer handle magic wasn't because of anything in our makeup, but because someone had changed reality so we no longer recognized it.
They had cast a spell so powerful that reality itself did not allow magic any more.
And I had a pretty good idea who had done it. She'd been conveniently there right after I'd been changed. She'd help me cope. She'd forced me into this seventeen year old mindset. . . no, that had been me, hadn't it. I accepted that I was seventeen so easily, and then I WAS seventeen. An innocent seventeen year old virgin, blissfully unaware of sex.
I'd become what I assumed a seventeen year old was like.
"And these aren't my thoughts. Whomever you are, please stop feeding me lines and show yourself."
-You're no fun.-
"You're not a cat."
-How can you tell. It's just a thought after all.-
"And a thought is the most powerful thing in the world. It is the fount of all actions we take."
-Well, apprentice. You've passed your first test. I shall return with another in the future.-
I had to pull over. I had an inkling of who, or what, I'd just been speaking to, and if I was right, then I was in a whole deep dish pizza of trouble.
"Stop that!"
-Couldn't resist.-
I was getting better, however, at telling when a thought was being inserted into my mind. I think that had been the reason that my mystery visitor had actually come. Not to test me on some esoteric idea, but to teach me what a foreign idea felt like.
I felt reality pull back a bit from me, and realized that without the foreign ideas I no longer had certain assumptions about the world.
And the first thing I realized was that humanity can accept magic.
There was no magical change. Someone, probably the cats, had decided they didn't WANT humanity to be able to handle magic.
Apprentice. . .I can do magic.
Oh, shit. I don't want to do magic.
I'd already seen what a mess a little magic in inexperienced hands could create. I'd been the one who created part of it. My body on the other hand. That was all Mister Nibs fault.
I drove the rest of the way home in silence. I hoped I hadn't caused any lasting harm to my mother.
"Mom, we're home."
"Brad, I had the strangest dream. . .oh, it wasn't a dream was it?"
"Nope, it wasn't."
"Well, you make a very pretty girl, you know?"
"But I don't want to be a girl, Mom."
"Honey, let's take these things inside, and I want to have a serious talk with you."
I didn't like the ominous sound of this, but it wasn't something I was going to be able to avoid. We took the bags and parcels in, and put them un in my sister's room.
Then my Mom sat down on the bed, and patted the spot next to her.
"Brad. You know I love you, right?"
"Yes, Momma. I know."
"Your father and I did a rather horrible thing to you. When I saw you at that door, I thought that you might have found out about it and done something rash."
"What are you talking about?"
"How do I explain." She began to wring her hands. "What do you remember about your childhood?"
"I was born. . ."
"Not facts and figures and words. What do you remember?"
I began to think back, and all I saw, all I remembered was a story. It began "I was born. . ." and ended with "And at my eighth birthday party I had an ice cream cake in the shape of a fire engine."
The same words. No variation. It ran over and over. It was a foreign idea.
"A man spoke those words to me, but not you or Dad. It kept repeating it. About little league, and cub scouts and. . .Mom, what is this."
"Do you remember Doctor Jacobs?"
"Who?"
"I'm so sorry, sweetie. Doctor Jacobs said that it was a little harmless hypnosis. That you had convinced yourself that you weren't a boy, and that he could help your mind to understand the truth."
The horror of what she was suggesting. How could my Mother. . .
"Sweetie, we thought it was the best when you began having tea parties with your sisters. We thought it wasn't natural! You've got to believe me that we thought what we were doing was the best, but the older you got, and your inability to really connect with a woman. . ."
She was crying and I found myself unable to comfort her. Where were my memories. Where were. . .
In my mind I felt what seemed to be a thread. It was tied into the story that looped over and over. I yanked with all my strength, and the first thing I remembered was my grandmother. Not the picture of her on the mantel piece, but talking with her face to face.
"But Granny. Only Girls can be witches. Mommy says I'm a boy."
"It isn't the body that defines us, dearest heart. It is the mind and the soul. Daughter of my power, child of my heart, you are a girl. You told me so yourself."
I also realized why I had failed to really connect with any of them.
I was not, nor had I ever been a lesbian.
Up until I was eight years old, I had understood. Even after that I would occasionally have 'relapses'.
My face burned in shame. It made sense now why Bobby Greely had suddenly stopped coming around. Bobby and I had kissed. He was the first boy I had kissed and my parents had that doctor take that away from me. Had replaced it with another little story. Another little lie for my mind to tell itself.
When I looked at women's clothing, the story told me that I wanted to see the body underneath it, when I really liked the way it looked.
The stories had tried to build a personality of a man out of straw.
Granny had known though when she gave me her silver. She'd known.
And so had my Mom. She chose me among all my sisters to give her china to.
I'm glad my parents never told me at the time that I was the reason they broke up.
I was crying and holding my mom. I knew that she'd done this to me, but she remembered it every day of every year for twenty six years. She'd borne the guilt of this act upon her soul and let it fester and rot.
"My dear sweat child. I am so sorry for the pain we put you though."
I felt another vision of the past come to me.
"Abbie, do you feel this string? This place in your mind?"
"Yes, granny?"
"This is attached to yourself. A witch is stronger than anything, child. He can't destroy you, only push you under for a while. Remember that. I'm attaching this string to your inner self. I'm wrapping all of your memories up in it. Remember this place and hide in it the next time. . ."
The scene shifted, and her grandmother was no longer there. She was in a tiny room. It was Doctor Jacobs office.
A white Persian hopped up on the table.
'Aren't you done yet, Antonidus? This should have been completed weeks ago.'
"I'm sorry mother, but someone has prepared her mind. I'm having trouble with the purely magical techniques, and putting the parent's choice in imprint there is not helping any. Her entire being is fighting that one."
'Not her entire being. She has a male body after all. Tie into that.'
"She is too young. Not physically developed enough."
'Antonidus, you know I can't do this. My paws must NOT be found upon her mind. Merlin's Heir will not be given an excuse to rise because of me.'
At this point Jacobs turned toward me, and I remembered thinking, 'this I must remember,' as I moved everything that was myself into the vault of my mind.
She looked so much younger than she had in years. It would seem that a lot of what had kept Granny looking young was a clear conscious.
I covered her in the blanket and went downstairs to fix myself something to eat.
Mom had believed that each of us should learn how to cook for ourselves. I never knew why I loved being in the kitchen with her, even more so than my sisters. Now I could remember. It was in the kitchen that I first realized what love was. Preparing food for your family is an act of love.
That memory more than anything else spurred me into making something not only for myself, but for my mother as well.
As I cooked, I began to think about the things that had opened up for me.
Granny was a witch.
That was probably the biggest of all the revelations.
I had felt like a girl growing up.
That didn't feel so big for some reason. It just felt. . .right.
Merlin's Heir.
A dim memory from my past, from the beginning, opened up for me, and I knew it was the last vision I would see.
"Magic is what holds the cracks in the universe closed. It can be used to change things, but mostly it's there to keep things the same."
"Keep things the same? But wouldn't that happen automatically?"
"Science says yes. Magic disagrees. That is the real reason why science and magic are different. They are opposites. Science believes that there is order in chaos. Magic states that order is all."
"But, that seems so strange to me. It seems like science is trying to order the universe, not destroy it."
"Such big thoughts for a little thing. No, you need time to grow up, Merlin's Heir. Time to be a child."
"Granny, will being a child hurt?"
"Sometimes, but then it's the natural order of things. Child then adult then wizard."
"What if I don't want to be a wizard? What if I want to be a witch like you instead?"
"Then, child, you shall be a witch."
"That smells good, Abbie."
"Thanks."
"Will you ever forgive me for what we did to you?"
"It wasn't you or dad that did this to me, Mom. It was Antonidus."
"Who?"
"Sorry, Doctor Jacobs. He was a cat."
"What are you talking about?"
"Doctor Jacobs wasn't human. He had been shifted from cat form by his mother to make me forget my birthright."
"You sound so much like you did as a little girl. . ."
"Mom?"
"I just realized how much I did accept you as just another of my daughters. When your grandmother first explain it to me, that you thought of yourself as a girl, and not a boy, I just accepted it. Your father. . ."
"He wanted me to be a boy. I know. Don't worry about it, Mom. It was the world he understood. The world of science with its qualifications and its absolutes and its inevitable fall into decay."
"What are you talking about?"
"Just a little bit of magic versus science. Ages old debate apparently. Don't worry about it."
"Well, if magic is what it takes to get my beautiful daughter back, then sign me up."
We both had a little laugh over that, but there was a lot of bitter in the sweet.
I did forgive her. She did only what she felt was right for herself and her marriage. But it would take a while before I could talk to her an no longer feel the hurt of years in my soul.
-Well, the lazy one awakes finally.-
"Who are you?"
-One older than yourself. Younger than time, though. I'd really hate to be older than time.-
Fear entered me at this. I knew from the bedtime stories of my kittenhood who this must be.
-I am no bogeyman to keep you up at night. I was just a man, and now I've been awakened.-
"But you're dead?"
-The power of magic is to remain the same. Remember that Sebastian?-
I felt something shudder within me at the mention of that name.
-Contrary to what your 'mother' believes, some things can only be temporarily altered by magic, but never changed. She is about to learn this the hard way. She and that foul goddess of hers.-
"Some bonds can never be broken? Is that it?"
-No, anything joined can fail. What is, is.-
"You speak in riddles, old man"
-Old? Most definitely. Man? I was a man once, but no longer. That is what that creature who calls herself mother took from me.-
"Why are you telling me this?"
-Because it has begun again, old friend, and I need you to protect us all once again.-
"What had begun?"
-The war, of course. The war for who will rule this next one and a half. Cats or Humans. Who gets control.-
"Cats don't rule the world, silly old man."
-No, they rule the magic. Remember!-
The pressure on my mind was intense, unbearable, and then the wall broke down, and I remembered the last war. Humans and cats on both sides of it, and a champion for each. A human champion for the humans. Mother lead the cats.
"Merlin?"
-Not any longer, Sebastian. Not any longer.-
"So, the heir has been born already? It's already that time?"
-The time is already past for it to start. The foul mother delays it.-
"Who? Who is the heir?"
-You already know, Sebastian. Go to her now, and be ready.-
I hadn't gotten them in bed since the first time I visited "Dr. Jacobs."
"Is this supposed to get into my good graces, Mom?"
"No, this is to let you know I remember. These were your favorite, and a comfort food for you. I thought. . .you never wanted them any more after you visited that doctor. You changed so much, Abbie."
My Mom was crying, holding the tray of pancakes and boysenberry syrup. My stomach rumbled. One little taste wouldn't. . .
"I'll just take them. . ."
"No, you can leave them, if you want. I mean, I am hungry after all."
"Maybe we could talk while you eat?"
"Mom, I know from your actions over the past twenty-six years that you meant me no harm. I know you love me. Right now I don't care. My heart is the part of me that's railing against this. I don't feel loved."
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry," she was crying as she left and all I could think was 'good.'
I began to eat my pancakes, but they tasted like ash in my mouth. I had achieved no victories here. All I had done was alienate the only person who really understood what was going on with me.
I was so conflicted. Did I just leave? Did I just tell her I didn't care about all that?
I felt a warm body leap into my lap and I pulled it to my chest and absentmindedly stroked his ears. I needed the comfort of another being right now, and I didn't care if that being was Mr. Nibs. He didn't know it yet but he'd actually done me a greater service than anyone else in my life at the moment.
He'd opened the door whereby my body, mind, and soul were one.
Didn't mean I trusted him either.
I didn't much trust anyone right now.
'Can't breathe.'
"So, Mr. Nibs. Where have you been?"
'Oh, here and there. Learning that certain people are not to be trusted'
"Like I don't trust you."
'That's warranted considering what you know.
'
"New revelations for me?" I said with more venom than I'd intended.
'I guess it can wait. We're only in the beginning of a war for dominance after all. Heck the last one lasted almost fifty years and spawned some of the longest lived stories in the history of the human race, but you know. Take your time.'
"What are you talking about?"
'Only the fate of reality.'
"Stop talking nonsense, Mr. Nibs." Nothing happened. I tried again, "Mr. Nibs."
'It was never my true name, Mouse.' I felt laughter in my mind.
"What's so funny?"
'I just remembered why. . .I named the boy Marlin originally. Problem was he had no idea what a Marlin was, and the vowels kept getting mixed up.'
"Is there actually a hierarchy of these names or are you making all this up as you go?"
'Of course there's a hierarchy. Dog and Mouse at the bottom. Then sea fish. Then lizards. Then Birds. Then other land mammals. Then sea mammals. Then cats.
"So, it is actually saying someone is beneath a whale or a cat to call them Human?"
'Crap, you weren't supposed to catch onto that. Most familiars are too humanocentric to even realize that.'
"Ok, so, in these groups, there is no hierarchy?"
'Of course not. How much of a pain in the butt would that be?'
"They're names, got it."
I just sat there rubbing his head as he purred, that is until he started to nuzzle my breasts.
"Hey, watch that!"
'Sorry. Wasn't really realizing where I was for the moment.'
"Uh, huh."
'Getting scratched is almost as good as sex for a cat. I was completely in the moment and not really aware of my surroundings.'
"Oh, gross." I dumped him on the floor and went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I suddenly felt so accidentally violated.
'But it's a natural physiological response!'
"I am not having sex, in any form, with my cat.
'I'm your cat? I feel so honored.'
"Wait, I thought all you cat's felt that you were above humans. That you couldn't be owned?"
'So much to learn about cats, Mouse. There's a difference between belonging and ownership.'
"Oh, really."
'Of course. With belonging, you accept joint responsibility for me. With ownership you are saying you define me.'
"Like when I say someone is my boyfriend?"
'Don't you mean to say girlfriend?'
"No, I meant boyfriend."
'Oookay, well yes, it is like that. You don't own another person. You accept responsibility with them for their future. You are admitting your reliance one on another.'
"I'm still not having sex with you."
'Not even a little sckritch?'
"No."
'A minor rub?'
"Fine, as long as you don't nuzzle my breasts again."
I began to rub his neck, and realized that he'd distracted me from the entire reason I'd started holding him in the first place.
"Thanks, Mr. Nibs."
'For what?'
"For distracting me from my sucky life."
'That's what cats are for. But with your mention of boyfriends, I thought you were settling in nicely to being a girl.'
"Oh, being a girl is perfect for me. I never knew I always wanted to be a girl. No, it's everything in my life that I thought I knew that I don't want."
'Want to talk about it?'
"What for? Why would I want to talk about the betrayals of everyone I know, including you, with you?"
'Sometimes talking to someone about your problems doesn't make them seem so bad.'
"My Mom and dad sent me to a fake shrink who used magic and hypnosis to erase my entire life before the age of 8. They also had a new persona implanted there so that I would think I was a boy.
"They erased my first kiss. They erased every memory I had of my grandmother. And if that wasn't enough. . .actually that's about it. They erased me.
"Killing me would have been better."
'Really? You'd prefer to be dead than a seventeen year old girl?'
"But I'm not seventeen."
'Are you a witch, or aren't you?'
"I'm a witch."
'Then you're seventeen.'
"Huh?"
'A witch is one who defines the constants of reality, Mouse. You define birthdays, and loves. You define race and gender. You choose what everyone else perceives.'
"How can this be? They're supposed to be evil? Aren't they?"
'The witches lost last time, Mouse. Of course they were cast in a bad light by the winning side. Wizards only avoided it because of the strength of the ideal that was Arthur's Camelot.'
"I don't understand."
'Camelot as an example of perfect order has been upheld through wars, and concerted efforts by chaos to tear it down. Even attempts to destroy it as an ideal have failed. I mean all Le Morte d'Arthur did was keep the expand the fame of Arthur.'
"How did. . ."
'Simple, it impugned the manhood of Arthur suggesting that one of his nights had to service his wife for her to be satisfied.'
I blushed to my boots.
"Ok, this is insane. How come I'm reacting this way. I've said worse."
'You redefined your reality, Mouse. When you accepted your name, and your birth date, you changed your history.'
"I almost lost myself to that change."
'Which is why amateurs should not do magic. Remember yourself. Your personality has changed. Not all of it, but parts of it. Keep hold of who you were and you should regain it. Don't forget yourself.'
"How powerful is my definition of reality?" I said getting a small smile.
'For most witches? It might cover a week or two in time and their immediate surroundings.'
"I didn't ask for most witches."
'You have the ability to rewrite all of time.'
"Shit."
I sat there and let that sink in for a moment. I could redefine reality itself.
"You're mother is that powerful too, isn't she."
'Mother is not mine. She is your opposite.'
"My opposite?"
'Your rival. Your nemesis. Your opponent.'
"You keep disuading me from this. Am I powerful enough to. . ."
'STOP THINKING THAT!'
-You can read my thoughts.-
'Of course I can, especially with they're this loud. Do not consider what you are thinking. Do not contemplate it. Do not fantasize about it.'
"But, you're my cat. I just want. . ."
'You shouldn't want it.'
"You put the idea in my mind. It will not just go away, Mr. Nibs."
'STOP!!!!!!!'
"I CAN"T!"
I was so tried, but there was something important that I needed to do. Something I had to remember.
I stretched. . .and something felt wrong. So wrong. The carpet just didn't feel right. It felt so rough. I opened my eyes and took a look at my hairless arms.
"What in the. . .Abbie, what in the hell did you do, girl!"
"You just called me Abbie, Mr. Nibs."
I was speechless. I sat up on my rump and looked at where Abbie was hiding her head in her arms. She was blushing as well.
"What? I'm just naked."
"Look at yourself in the mirror, you silly cat!"
"You self centered, ignorant, adolescent, human girl. What in the hell did you do to me?!"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: When I first began to write this story, I had a good idea where I wanted it to go. I had a plan. Then, unfortunately, the story got the bit in its mouth and simply began to run away with me. The story is currently in a blind alley that is not heading anywhere I would like it to go.
I have written between 3k and 4k words for the next chapter. Unfortunately, I keep deleting everything I wrote and starting over. About the time I did that the fourth time, I decided that this story was a lost cause.
I was interested to see where I would take me, and unfortunately, it has not taken me far enough. I apologize to everyone who was enjoying this story.
This does not mean I will never end it. It simply means that I would have to rewrite it before I continue. I'm not really up to rewriting it right now.