A collection of stories about a special child named Jubal Marie Franks.
This story began as an attempt to provide a little bit of personal back story for a teenager named Jubal. The original story I wrote ended up disjointed at first, so I expanded the first chapter I'd written from 7500 words to well past 13000 words. And I didn't even revise anything in the last 3500 words of the original.
The additional 5500 words had all come as an expansion upon the early life of Jubal. How he became who he was when the 'real' story opened.
I realized yesterday that this was my story to tell, and I needed to tell all of it.
I apologize for the lack of a happy ending.
I also apologize for posting this just after sending my editor a copy. I will be making changes to it as she gets back to me ;)
"What happened to her?"
"Their car went through a railing and into a dry river bed. . ."
The doctor and EMT were interrupted by a nurse attaching a monitor to the obviously pregnant woman's belly "I've got fetal heartbeat."
"We need her in surgery now. We can either save the mother or child at this point, and the child seems to have a greater chance of survival."
"The child is your daughter's as much as it was our son's"
"We never agreed to the marriage of that freak of a girl you call your son to our baby girl. I would have stopped it if I could."
"Jim, even your money isn't enough to call a stop to a perfectly legal marriage."
"Legal? Legal?! . ."
"Jim, honey, keep it down." Samantha Hastings looked around at the mostly abandoned waiting room. Some of the other families waiting there looked over at the four of them, and then looked away embarrassed that they'd been caught looking.
"Samantha, I will not keep this down."
Jim Hastings was still fuming when a doctor walked into the waiting room.
"Mr. and Mrs. Hastings? I am sorry to inform you that your daughter did not make it out of surgery. We were able to save her child. . ."
"That child is no blood of ours. Let the Franks take their freak of an offspring."
The Hastings stood to leave. They sneered at the lighter skinned couple they were leaving behind.
The doctor was confused to say the least. "I donated the sperm that was used to artificially inseminate my daughter-in-law. Our son insisted, and she agreed."
At the doctor's questioning glance, Anthony Franks blushed.
"Our son was born our daughter. She. . .even after all these years I sometimes forget. . .he wanted to have a child that was genetically related to him. Our daughter-in-law's parents only found out what happened last week. They disowned them both."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Franks. Since the child is genetically yours, you do have legal custody."
"The child is our son's, doctor. His, or her, birth certificate should reflect this," Amelia Franks said.
"That is a good question."
"Isn't every child one or the other?"
"Yes, usually. About one in a thousand children, however, are what is termed intersexed."
"So, what your telling us is the child is both male and female?."
"Yes and no. Usually, the child will exhibit a greater degree of characteristics one way of the other. And they will always be genetically one or the other. In this case, however, it's a bit harder to tell. I'd like authorization to put the child through an MRI."
"Isn't that a bit extreme?"
"I si9mply don't know how to classify the child."
"Why classify the child at all? We can begin calling the child Him, and let him decide."
"It's not that easy. We would have to make surgical correction, so that he conformed with socially acceptable. . ."
"Absolutely not," Amelia was incensed, "We were told twenty years ago that our child would be happier if we made the exact same decision. So, we cut off his male genitals and turned him into a girl. We made the wrong decision then, we're not making that decision again. The child will not be altered!"
The doctor backed up a bit, his eyes widening.
"The child has a mental gender identity. It is already formed. We learned that the hard way last time. We tried to force our little boy into dresses, telling him that if he'd just give it a chance he'd feel so much better about himself.
"I will never do that to another child for as long as I live."
"What do you propose we do, then Mr. Franks?"
"We call the child Jubal, the name our son finally picked, and Marie for her sweet mother that she never got to know. Jubal Marie Franks. One name for his father. One name for his mother."
"This is highly irregular, Mr. Franks."
"Need I remind you that I am on the board of trustees for this hospital? Just do it, Doctor Grimes."
He had some big words already, and elsewhere was one of them. To most other people it sounded like he was saying el-were, but his parents knew what he meant. They smiled at him, and that made him happy. He said el-were whenever he could.
He especially liked daddy's tickles, but not right now. He wanted his mommy to give him a big hug.
He'd only gotten five or six this morning and he was way below his daily quota.
"Mommy hug! Mommy hug!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, knowing that his mommy would know just what he needed.
He wandered into the kitchen where his mommy and daddy were talking. They looked so serious. Not the normal smiles that they gave him.
"Mommy smile! Mommy hug!"
"But, Tony, he's only two years old. How can they do this?"
"Mommy hug?"
His mommy lifted him into her arms and just held him to her.
"It's a pre-school, Amelia. And it's private. They can make any decisions on who they allow in they want."
"But he didn't do anything wrong!"
"It's okay, mommy. Jubal sorry. Jubal sorry, okay?"
"My dearest little one, you did nothing wrong." Amelia teared up a bit.
"The impression that they gave me, was that it was our fault they weren't letting Jubal in."
"It's simple, then. We stop all donations to them."
"Amelia!"
"I'm serious, Tony. That is our vote for their policies when we offer them money. We've given them close to a hundred thousand dollars over the past ten years. If their policy is to discriminate based on gender, then I'm sorry, I no longer feel comfortable assisting them to stay in business."
"Mommy hug. Jubal sorry, Mommy."
"I'm sorry too, Jubal. I know that you aren't to blame. I love you, my dear sweet boy. I love you, my dear sweet girl. You have the right to choose who you will be, and no silly day school can change that.
The doll was wearing a pretty yellow and pink dress, which was a lot better than the business suit she'd originally come in. She was the head firefighter because Jubal thought the yellow dress looked better than the firefighter's rubberized jackets.
She was a little smaller than the firefighters, but even Jubal knew that girls were smaller than boys. She fit perfectly in the driver's seat of the fire engine that he also got for his birthday.
He'd gotten everything he wanted. A pretty doll and a fire engine. He'd received other toys and clothes as well, but they mostly sat in his toy box untouched.
Mommy let him wear a bow in his hair today, but he wore his shorts and tee shirt instead of a dress. As he'd told his Mommy: Dresses were for playing Tea, not for playing in the dirt.
A little girl, maybe five or six years old walked up to Jubal as he played.
"Whatcha doin'?"
"Playing firewoman."
"It's fireman, silly."
"No, see, I have a female head fireman, so it is firewoman."
"Girls aren't firemen. They're mommies and doctors and stuff."
"My Mommy said that a girl can be anything she wants. Boys too."
"Why is your pretty dolly a fireman?"
"Firewoman. It's because the dolly is me. I want to be a firewoman too."
"But you're a boy?"
"Nope. I'm a Jubal. Or a Marie."
"But those are boy clothes."
"And a pretty bow. Just like me, they are both."
"You can't be both, silly."
"Yes, huh. I can be both."
"But, you're one or the other."
"Nu-nuh. I am NOT! I'm a JUBAL! I get to choose!"
Amelia ran to him from her garden just inside the front gate, wondering what had happened. She noticed one of the children from the neighborhood talking to Jubal, who was crying and running toward her.
"Mommy, Mommy, this mean girl said that I can't be both. Tell her she's wrong!"
"My poor sweet girl. My poor boy. Mommy's got you. Shhh."
Amelia continued to comfort Jubal even as she turned toward the other girl. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
"Bethany."
"That's a pretty name, Bethany. How old are you?"
"Almost six."
"Almost six, huh. As old as that?" Amelia smiled at her. "Well, Bethany, Jubal Marie was right. He, or she, is both a boy and a girl right now. It isn't common, but it does happen. Jubal is special in that way. We want her, or him, to decide what is right for Jubal to be, and not what is right for everyone else."
"But, my mommy says that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. It can't be both, can it?" Bethany had a confused look on her face.
Amelia smiled sweetly at the innocent little girl. "In Jubal's case, it can."
"If Jubal is a girl, then she can come play with me at my house. Mommy and Daddy don't think I should have boy friends."
"Would you like to go and play at Bethany's house, Jubal?"
"She wants girl me? Marie then, Mommy."
"Ok, Jubal, I mean Marie. Would you like to wear a dress over to Bethany's house then?"
"Yes, Mommy. My yellow one."
"Whatcha doin'? he asked, imitating her from earlier.
"Reading a book."
"What's reading?"
"I look at the words, and they tell me things."
"What's this word?"
"And."
"ooh. . .and this word?"
"a"
"and a. . .look, and has an 'a' in it." Light sparkled in Jubal's eyes. "There are 'a's all over the page. The a word is there?"
"No, when it is part of another word, it is called a letter."
"So, a is a letter and a word, but and is only a word?" Jubal had a look of concentration on his little face.
"Yep." Bethany giggled.
"Do more words."
"We did reading."
"So, Bethany read to you?"
"No, Jubal did reading. I readinged 'a' and 'and' and 'not' and NUREAU, but that's a nonsense word."
"Wow, Jubal, I'm impressed."
"Will you teach me more reading, Mommy?"
"Amelia."
"Hello, is this Mrs. Franks?"
"It is."
"You said Amelia? Hi, Amelia, This is Bethany's mom, Lauren."
"What can I do for you, Lauren?"
"Well, according to Bethany, your daughter Marie thinks she's a boy."
"No, you're mistaken."
"Are you calling my daughter a liar?"
"No, I'm just saying you misunderstood. I'm sorry, I was caught off guard. Let me start again. Jubal Marie is intersexed."
"Why did you give your child a girl and a boy name?"
"Because she has characteristics of both. That's what intersexed means."
"Why didn't you have the doctor just fix it then?"
"And which gender would you pick?"
"Does it matter? You raise a child properly and they'll never question their gender."
"I'm sorry, Lauren, but that's just not the case."
"You're not telling me that you think these tranny freaks are normal are you."
"Lauren, I'll ask you to watch your language, please. And no, I don't think they're normal, in the way that you're defining it. I do think that people sometimes feel trapped in the wrong sex."
"It's all just people trying to convince themselves that their deviance is. . ."
"Stop right there, Lauren. I believed like you did once upon a time. I had a child who I was sure was my daughter. I enrolled him in ballet and gymnastics. He was even a cheerleader in junior high for a little while. Not because he wanted it, but because I thought it would be good for him. Help him fit in with the 'other girls' so to speak. When he tried to commit suicide after cutting his breasts to ribbons, we got him the help he needed."
Lauren was quiet for a moment or two and then spoke again in a much quieter voice. "What happened to your son?"
"He got married to a beautiful woman we were happy to call daughter. Jubal is their child. I would never even consider putting my son's child through what I mistakenly thought was the right thing. . ."
"I never knew. I'm sorry. I thought that he was your child. . ."
"He calls me Mommy, and I let him. We figured it would be easier for everyone involved."
"I see where you're coming from, but I don't know if I'm comfortable letting my girl play with yours. We try not to let any boys over to the house."
"I think that's a little silly, don't you?"
"Look, I understand your trauma from the past, leave me to mine!"
Lauren slammed the phone down on the hook.
Amelia looked a bit bemused, but at least, maybe, she had gotten through to someone a little about her dear sweet girl, her dearest boy.
"What's that, Jubal, or is it Marie today?" Jubal was wearing one of her dresses, but had a pair of jeans on underneath.
"Marie today, Daddy."
"So, what do you want for Christmas?"
"I want books. Lotsa books. And ones with more words. The picture books I got for my birthday are too small. I want longer stories."
"You know that they will be harder to read, right?"
"I know, silly Daddy. But if it's not hard, then it's not worth it, right?"
"That's my girl!"
"Boy! daddy. I'm Marie today, but I'm a boy."
Jubal went off to play, and Tony looked up at Amelia. "Marie is a boy?"
"This is a new kick he's on. He told me earlier that it was hard for him to decide whether he wanted to be a girl or a boy, and thought maybe some of the difficulty was because he liked both of his names so much. So, to try and clarify, he's trying to be a Boy as Marie, and a Girl as Jubal."
"He said all that?"
"Well, you know, he used kid shorthand, but yes, that is what he said."
"I think we might be creating a monster," Tony said with a wide grin.
"I think he wants to be a boy, but is unsure how we will take it. We are so wishy-washy where that is concerned, trying not to influence him either way, that we are making him think if he decides that we will love him less."
"Let me handle it then, Love."
Tony went to find his son. He found the boy playing with his dolls in the fire truck again. He smiled at that.
"Jubal Marie, could I talk to you for a second?"
"Sure, Daddy."
"You know your Mom and I love you, right?"
"Yes Daddy. Marie being a boy isn't wrong is it?"
"No, honey, it isn't wrong. Do you like being a boy or a girl more?"
"It is more fun being a boy. We get to play in the dirt, and you work on the engine which is fun, but I know not to get too close."
"That's not all there is to being a boy, you know."
"It's not?"
"Nope. Boys and Girls have a lot that they both can do. The one thing they really don't share, however, is that Boys are Daddies and Girls are Mommies."
"Oh. . .so girls can play in the dirt and boys can wear pretty clothes?"
"Yes, honey, they can."
"Oh, then how can I decide?"
A couple of tears came to his eyes at that, but Tony didn't cry easily. He just hugged his child to him.
"I didn't say something wrong did I?"
"Of course not, sweetie. Do you want to be a daddy or a mommy more when you grow up?"
Jubal looked thoughtful for a couple of minutes, and then looked up at his daddy. "I think I want to be a Daddy when I grow up. I love Mommy, but I wouldn't want to be Mommy. I can decide different later?"
"Yes, you can change your mind later. You only have to make your final decision when you are twelve."
"That is so long from now."
"Yes, that is a ways away, my son."
"I'm a SON! Wahoo!!!"
Tony laughed at his sons antics and Amelia spoke up from the doorway, "Yes you are, my dearest boy."
He wanted to master all of them.
The first one wasn't much better than the Seuss books he already had. Sure there were more words, but they were mostly the same words. He wanted new words.
He wanted to know everything.
'Maybe, they use the same words so that the new words make sense.
That thought made reading the old words easier. Another thought popped into his mind, and he smiled.
Jubal went tromping around in his nightgown. He still refused to wear pajamas. He liked the feel of nightgowns better.
"Mommy? Mommy!"
"In the kitchen, sweetheart."
"Is there a word book?"
"A word book?"
"You know, one that has lots of new words in it, and old words so you can understand."
She looked confused for a moment, and then a light went off. "You mean a dictionary?"
"What is dictionry?"
"Let me show you."
She went into the study and got the oversized dictionary off the shelf. Jubal opened it up to the first page and his eyes got wide.
"This is so much better than a word book. This is. . .easy! They just tell you what the words mean like you and Daddy tell me when I ask."
Amelia laughed and smiled, "Yes, dearest boy, they just tell you the meanings."
Jubal sat down and began to read the dictionary.
"Honey, you don't just read the dictionary."
Jubal looked up worried, "Why not? Is it wrong?"
"Usually you use it to look up words you don't understand."
Jubal was thoughtful for a moment. "But, isn't is easier to simply read the dictionary first? There are so many words I don't understand."
Amelia laughed again, and gave him a hug. "Of course you can read the dictionary, if you want to."
"Thanks, Mommy. I will."
"Well, Okay."
Jubal took the dictionary to the couch and began to read. He was confused about the wierd symbols after each of the bold words.
"Mommy, what are these letters? They look different from the ones I am used to, and I can't sound them out."
"Oh, those are there for pronunciation. So you can sound the new word out easier."
"Ok, so what sounds do they make."
"I'm not sure," Amelia flipped through the book a little till she found the pronunciation guide. "Here you go. Here are the explanations for all the symbols."
"What does Pah-ho-netic mean?"
"That's phonetic, honey. It means it is spelled the way it sounds."
Jubal looked through he chart and realized something. "There is only one letter for each sound, Mommy. How come we don't spell things with these letters?"
Amelia laughed at that, she couldn't help it. "It would be a lot easier, wouldn't it, honey."
Jubal laughed a bit, unsure what was funny, "Yes, Mommy."
"Sometimes people just don't do things the easy way, honey."
"Ok, well, I'm going to learn the phonetic letter so it is easier for me. I do things the easy way."
"Ok, sweetie. Have fun."
"Yes, Mommy.
He knew that Christmas was in December, and this year, since reading April, he'd kept better track of which months were which. Thirty days was just so many to keep track of thought. He had a calendar that he colored on to keep track. He made a little picture on each new day.
June Fifteenth. He knew that his birthday hadn't happened yet this year, so it wasn't in January, or February. March was a nice month, but not his. April, his favorite month wasn't his birthday either.
And May, the shortest month name, wasn't his. It might be later in June, but. . .
"Mommy? When is my birthday?"
"Not for months and months yet, Jubal."
"But when? I'd like to put in on my calendar."
"Ok, sweetie, let me show you."
"No, I can do it. Just tell me the date."
"Ok, Mr. bossy pants. It is October 13th." Amelia smiled as she watched her son turn through the pages of the calendar. He counted to himself as he did it.
"One. . .two. . .three. . .FOUR! October! It is only four months away. That is so close, we need to start planning, Mommy. I want a big party."
"Honey, that's more than fifteen weeks away."
"Oh," Jubal's face fell. "But we can have a big party on my birthday?" There was hope in his eyes.
"We can have a big birthday, Jubal."
She looked into the shade for a moment and realized that Jubal wasn't with the others in the maze. He was crying, and hiding in a corner of the garden by the house.
"What's wrong, Jubal?"
"I didn't get any new books. I just got toys, and all boy toys. I wanted at least a new Barbie."
"Sweetie, we didn't give you any new books, because you are already reading the ones in the study."
"But, they're yours and Dad's. I want my books to read."
"Ok sweetie, and we'll get you a new Barbie too. Why don't you go run and play with the other kids?"
"I don't know how, and they won't explain it to me. They called me stupid."
"Honey, they just don't know how smart you are. Watch what they do. Read their actions like you would a new word in a book."
"You mean I should look for the context?"
"Exactly," Amelia said with a smile.
"Ok, I'll figure it out. Thanks, Mommy."
"Go run and play, Jubal"
Amelia smiled at him. She felt the creaking in her bones, and worried how she would be able to continue raising a young child, when she was only getting older. She'd been almost thirty when she'd had her son, and he'd been thirty five when he died.
Seventy was entirely too young to be feeling this old.
Her breathing was labored when she got back to her chair. She would just rest her eyes for a moment here in the shade. She could hear Jubal joining in with the game with the other children.
She was so tired. So sleepy.
Just a short nap, and she'd be ready to run and play with her beautiful boy. . .
Tony heard the desperation in his son's voice. He'd been working in the study, trying to finish out his last case. Judges had a tendency to be older, but he was beginning to feel it. It was time for him to retire and spend more time with his son.
Those thoughts stuck with him as he missed the top step on the winding staircase.
He was staring up looking at the frantic face of his son. Something was wrong with his back. He couldn't reach out his hand to touch his son's face. "Call 911, Jubal. They can help."
Jubal nodded and ran away. Tony knew it was too late for him as he felt his consciousness slipping.
"Grow up strong, My son. Be beautiful, My daughter." He whispered these words. His only regret was that Jubal would never hear them.
"My name is Joey."
"Fine, Joey. You'd think that a big black woman like you would be a Laticia or Maticia or some kind of 'Tiicia."
"Nancy, I would appreciate if you'd keep the racial slurs to a minimum."
"Sorry, I just joking."
"It wasn't funny. How bad is it? Not another girl being put out as a prostitute by her step-father/pimp is it?"
"Nope, kid being raised by the grandparent. Grandmother died of a blood clot in the lungs. Grandfather fell down the stairs trying to help."
"The kid lost both parents in one day? How old?"
"Today is the kid's fifth birthday."
"So, boy or girl this time?"
"Well, there is the other part of the scenario. The child is intersexed. The officers tell me that he calls himself a boy, but the doctor who checked him out. . .shocked to say the least. We tracked down the family's doctor, and found out that the grandparents wanted the kid to decide when he turns twelve."
"Why do you give me all the tough cases?"
"Because you're the new girl around here."
Joey just stood and shook her head. "Alright, give me the file and I'll see what I can do."
The sun shone on the rows of headstones, illuminating but not comforting. He wished that the sky were grey and it were raining. the sky should be crying like he was. The sun shone and threw irony over the scene.
The smell of dirt pervaded the air. The only other people with him were Joey, big comfortable Joey, and a Priest. Joey had told him that the Will had said that his parents wanted to have a church funeral, but he didn't know exactly what that meant. He didn't care either. He just wanted his parents back.
"Get up! Mommy, Get up! Please. They're going to burry you, Mommy. Daddy, tell her. Daddy, wake up and tell Mommy I don't like this game anymore."
He pulled his hand out of the social worker's grasp and ran over to the casket. He tried to open it up, but it was locked.
"Please, Mommy. I'll do better I promise. I'm sorry I'm not fast enough. I'lkl learn to run faster. And read. You want me to read. I'll read. I'll do anything, Mommy."
The priest looked sadly over to the social worker, who simply nodded. The priest turned the key in first one, and then the other, motor and the caskets slowly lowered into the ground.
"MOMMY!!!!"
Joey dragged Jubal away from the gravesite.
"Doesn't the child have any other family?" asked the priest.
"None. The only blood relation refuses to accept the child, saying that he is a freak of nature. They hung up on me the first time I called, and refuse to pick up when I call back."
"What hope is there for the child then?"
"He's only five, Father. It's really likely that he will get adopted."
"I will pray for him."
"That's all anyone can ask of you, Father."
"We're aware, Joey. My wife and I can't have any children of our own. We'd been hoping to adopt an infant, but the first time we were here, something about little Jubal reached out and grabbed onto us."
"What my husband means to say is we fell in love with him at first sight. One of the other social workers told us that he was intersexed, so we decided to research a bit before making a decision. We just wanted to ask a couple of questions before we started working toward taking Jubal home with us. Why didn't the doctor just resolve the problem when he was an infant?"
"The grandparents want Jubal to be able to decide. They provided a trust for him that will pay all expenses that might accrue. He has until his twelfth birthday."
"That long? Wont there be problems with the schools?"
"If there are, money is also put aside for any legal situations that may come up. Jubal is likely to want to be a boy at that point, but he is a bit ambiguous in certain areas."
"Ambiguous?"
"He occasionally likes to wear dresses, and he has a couple of Barbies."
"Well, I always wanted to play dolls with my daughter, so I guess we get the best of both worlds with Jubal."
"Honey, let's go talk to Jubal and see if he wants to go home with us."
Joey watched the couple as they walked into the play room where Jubal currently sat. She knew there would be trouble ahead for the little boy, but at least for the moment, he might actually find some happiness with the Carsons.
Like she told the priest almost a month ago, praying was all that could be asked of anyone right now.
I would like to publicly thank everyone who sent me notes of encouragement. It has been a rough day for me, mostly of my own creation. That you all for your support.
A NOTE ABOUT GRAMMAR SCHOOL: This may or may not be accurate to today's world, but this grade school environment Jubal attends is based loosely on my own. We had a single teacher who taught us English, science, math, and social studies. Most of the time it was just English and Math. The two Ss were on a more periodic basis; every other day for a couple of hours I think.
Computer science, art, music, and gym were with other teachers, in other rooms. They were even less frequent than science and social studies.
Without further ado, I give you Jubal.
ADDENDUM: I realized only after I was working on the next story, that one of the names in here was wrong. Silly author. Made the changes to obscure Harold's boss' name until later.
Jubal did not fit into any of his rows or columns. He was not a boy. She was not a girl. It still brought a smile to his face thinking of those blue eyes when he'd told the child that they had a place for him in their lives.
As they walked up to the boy he tried to hide behind his raven locks.
"Would you like to come home with us, Jubal? Or do you prefer Marie?"
"Would I have to forget about my parents?" There were some tears in his eyes as he asked this
Sarah had kneeled down next to the boy and looked him in the eye. "Jubal, honey, we would never replace your parents. You would only be with us as long and you want to. I would love for you to stay with us, though."
"Would you love ME? Even if I'm a freak?"
"You are never a freak. Why would you believe that?"
"Mrs. Limon told me that Jesus hates me because I am an abomination. I don't want to be an abomination. Father Kenny told me that my parents went to heaven, and if they're there, I can't believe that Jesus is. They wouldn't let anyone hate me."
"Oh, dearest. Mrs. Limon doesn't know Jesus if she thinks that, and I am sure that he doesn't hate you. Jesus loved everyone, and I'm sure he's comforting your parents right now. He's keeping them company until you are old and grey and go to meet them."
"Really? You really think they're waiting for me?" A spark of hope ignited in his eyes. They would put sapphires to shame.
"Of course sweetie. I can't believe that this life is the end. And if the soul goes on, then the relationships that we form in this life must go on as well. My soul soars whenever I look at Mr. Carson. How can that end with this life."
"Is that true, Mr. Carson? Really?"
"I hope so, Jubal. I do."
"Harold, if you're done staring off into space, you can probably head home for the day. I know you finished the analysis for the Parkinson account yesterday. . .don't even try to deny it."
"Sir, I can explain."
"I know. You have a new child in the house. You've always done more work in three hours than most of the rest of these clowns do all week. That's why we're cutting their maximum hours, and putting you on salary."
"Sir, I don't know what to say."
"Say goodbye, and see you tomorrow."
"Goodbye, sir. I'll see you tomorrow."
"That's the spirit. Say hello to that new son of yours and your beautiful wife. One of these days I'm stealing both of them away from you."
Harold left as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. He had usually clocked out as soon as his work was done. He'd never felt right about being paid not to work. That had been fine when it had just been the two of them and Sarah had still been working, but since Jubal had come to live with them? . .
Even so, he'd spent the time quadruple checking his numbers and facts, making one thousand percent sure that everything he was submitting was correct. He'd made no corrections, nor had the information needed any.
"Harold, what's wrong. I thought that you were going to stay the entire day today?"
"They put me on salary. That will likely mean they are going to start giving me more work, but in the short term I get to spend more time with you and Jubal."
"Mr. Carson, can we go to the library again?"
"We are able to go to the library, Jubal." Susan said.
He blushed lightly. "May we go to the library, Mr. Carson."
"I think that can be arranged. What happened to the books we got for you two days ago?"
"I finished the last one this morning after I went running."
"Running?"
"The last words Mommy said to me were to run and play, so I try and run every day for her. I know now it won't bring her back. She didn't leave because she was mad at me. It just makes me happier to do something she asked me."
Harold gave his wife a squeeze and a kiss before whispering to her, "tough morning?"
"No more than any with Jubal. The boy is just so smart. It's like having a ten year old with the emotions of a five year old. He is so articulate that sometimes I forget how little he really knows."
"I'm great at listening too," Jubal whispered up at them.
Harold and Susan laughed and Harold grabbed Jubal up into a flying hug. "That you are, my little man. You are a wonderful listener."
"Higher, Daddy, Higher."
Susan's eyes widened a bit, but Harold just complied with the request and tossed Jubal lightly into the air.
When Harold's arms grew tired, he lowered Jubal to the ground and tickled him until he said stop.
Susan sat down of the floor and looked Jubal in the eyes. "Why did you call Mr. Carson, 'Daddy'?"
A little fear crept into Jubal's eyes. "It wasn't wrong was it? I heard the two of you talking about adopting me, and that means you are going to be my Mommy and Daddy, so I tried it out to see how it works. I can stop if you want."
A couple of tears came to his eyes, and Susan wrapped him in her arms.
"It's never wrong to call your Mommy and Daddy by their real names."
"It isn't betraying my first Mommy and Daddy is it?"
"Never. They are still your first Mommy and Daddy. They will always love you."
"Okay. I love you, Mommy. Thanks for explaining everything to me. You are an even better teacher than my first Mommy."
Susan just hugged him and the tears began to flow from both of their eyes.
"I love you to, Jubal."
Harold wrapped them both in his arms, hugging them. "And i love you both."
Jubal accepted the hug for a few seconds and then began to squirm. "Can we go to the library now?"
Susan laughed as Harold replied, "yes, we can go to the library now, Jubal. Get your book bag."
"Yes, Ms. Bonny. But I finished the books already."
"All three? In just two days?"
"Yeah, they were too short."
Bonny Roland laughed at this. "They were fifteen pages each. But I guess our little man is just too old for little kids books. So, what type of stories do you want next? Snow White? War and Peace in the original Russian?"
"Silly, Ms Bonny. You know I don't read Russian yet. Do they have War and Peace in English?"
There was a bit of a shocked look on Bonny's face, she knew that Jubal was precocious, but. . .
Jubal smiled up at her, "Actually, I want to read The Boxcar Children. Mommy read it when she was a girl, and it sounded more fun than Little House on the Prairie or Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew."
"Okay, then. We have a copy right over here. This should keep you a couple of days all by itself."
She handed a copy over to him and his eyes got large. "It is so much thicker than my other books. Thank you, Ms. Bonny. Thank you a bunch."
"Thank your Mommy. She was the one who suggested it."
"Thank you, Mommy."
"You're welcome, dearest."
"That was Charleston Academy for Boys?"
"Yes, they told me that only boys are allowed to attend school there."
"And the last one said only girls, and the one before said that they had no openings. . .after we explained his condition."
"Maybe he'll just have to go to a public school. The private ones seem to discriminate against those of ambiguous gender."
"But, Harold. You know that a public school won't be able to handle a child as bright as Jubal."
"I don't know what else to do."
"Sir, I'm so sorry about the file. I'll fix it."
"It was only a minor error, already fixed, but you never make errors. What's wrong, son."
Harold looked down at his desk, staring at the photo of his wife standing with Jubal. He really did care for the boy. How could he take care of Jubal when no one else wanted to allow him.
"None of the schools I talked to in our price range would allow Jubal to attend."
"Why not?"
"Because he's intersexed."
"That's right. Ambiguous. I'd think that any of these establishments would love a guaranteed graduate, especially one who will likely be as famous as your Jubal. That boy is going places."
"You only spoke to him for a couple of minutes at the Christmas party if I recall."
"Listen to what you're saying. I had a conversation with a 5 year old, Harold. A full blown conversation. If I knew they came in that model I might have considered having some of my own."
"Thank you, sir. I'll tell Jubal you remember him."
"Harold. Stop worrying. I remember that you told me that there was a trust for the child when he turned twelve?"
"For costs that would be incurred resulting from surgery and other incidental expenses arising from his intersexed status."
"Is that something close to the exact wording?"
"Yes. One of the points of the will stipulated that any foster or adoptive parents read and sign a form stating they had no interest in Jubal's money, and that the full will needed to be read to them first."
"Interesting. You are a valued employee when your head is in the game. You closed accounts worth over ten million dollars to the firm last year. I'll have the legal team look into it, and see if we can't supplement your school budget from the trust. Failing that, I think that the firm can provide a scholarship for the boy."
"Really, sir? you would do that?"
"Harold, I consider you my own flesh and blood. Yes, I would be happy to do that for you."
"Harold, my legal team went over the wording of the will, and there is nothing we can do.
His boss held up a finger to forestall any arguments from him, "however, my accountants went over the regulations, and we can get a major tax break for offering a scholarship for your son."
His boss smirked at his own thought, "well, unless there is another intersexed child out there that is smarter than Jubal. For right now I think we will just offer the one scholarship, but. . .it just feels right to me somehow."
"Thank you so much, sir."
"You're welcome, Harold. More than welcome. I only ask one thing."
"What, sir?"
"Call me Brad."
"Sure thing, Brad."
Jubal frowned for a moment and then looked up at the woman standing over him, "where is this test supposed to place me?"
Her shock was evident, but she covered it quickly, "It will tell us which grade we should start you out in."
"Ok. Sounds fair to me. So, when we're done I get to go to school here?"
"Yes, Jubal. You get to go to school here. When I tell you to begin, open up your booklet and begin reading the questions. You'd want to fill out the answer on this bubble sheet. Only fill one letter per question. Some of them may seem like they're right, but only one of them will be correct."
"Mrs. Presman? I may be a child, but you don't have to treat me like one. When you told me to only answer one bubble per number, I got it. This test is supposed to place me in a grade level. I don't think you explaining it to me is a valid testing protocol."
She blinked a couple of times at Jubal and then smirked, "you may begin, then."
Jubal opened the book and began to read. It was as easy as he'd thought it would be. He zipped through the English section.
It was only in the last couple of pages that he began to get a little less confident. They began asking him to analyze this or that passage, and he wasn't sure of the criteria he was supposed to use to analyze it. It confused him a bit, and the questions they asked didn't help either.
He figured it must be something he hadn't learned yet, so he just moved on to the math section.
Math didn't come as easily to him as English did. Or maybe he just hadn't spent as much time working on it. He got plus and minus, and that multiply was just adding repeatedly, but divide didn't quite make sense to him, and he had no idea how to do math with letters in it.
He began to get down a bit, and then something occurred to him. This was a placement test. He was supposed to fail parts of it so they knew what to teach him. He left everything he really didn't know blank after that.
He really didn't know anything in the social studies section, and the science section looked really cool. The questions were interesting anyway, but he just didn't know the answers. He really hoped they gave him some science classes.
"First off, let me say that I am very impressed with Jubal. He is one of, if not the, brightest students in his age group I have ever had the pleasure of placing. His reading is well above a sixth grade level, and his comprehension is right up there as well."
"His Math scores place him in a third or fourth grade level, and his other classes are about where we would expect of a child his age."
"However, with his comprehension where it is, we can assume that he would do well in any class we put him into. We're going to put him with the third grade, at least to begin, and go from there. We will give him some 'remedial' science classes, as well as social studies. He will be coming in halfway through the year, so there may be a period of catchup he needs to do, but from what we've seen here it should be fine."
She turned her attention to Jubal, "Now, Jubal. If at any time you have a problem with the classes, you let me know, okay? I want this experience to be as good for you as it possibly can."
"Okay, if I have any complaints about the class, I talk to you. Thank you, Mrs. Presman."
"You're very welcome, Jubal. Welcome to Griffin Academy."
"He's such a shrimp!"
"I'm not a shrimp. I'm five."
There were some sounds of surprise in the classroom.
"Methink we hath a twit amongst us."
"It would actually be methinks, and have, as hath is an antiquated for of the third person singular of to have. I'm not aware of there being a similarly antiquated first person plural version of to have."
"You didn't say anything about twit, twit."
"I find myself unable to tell you whether or not you find me bothersome."
The class laughed and the boy blushed bright red. Something about the situation told Jubal that he was in trouble, but that could wait until later.
For right now he simply wanted to find a seat and learn something.
"Of course."
"I can't accept this worksheet. It's not in English."
"Of course it's in English. That is the English standard phonetic alphabet. I figured that you, as a teacher would be able to read it. I'm sorry that I assumed wrong. I guess that I'll have to rewrite it. Sorry, Mrs. Wilson."
"Wait, just a moment. . ." She looked at it a moment, before a smile spread on her face. "Why it is phonetic. I'd assumed. . .very impressive, Jubal. Where did you learn this?"
"My first parents let me read the Dictionary. At that point I didn't realize that no one else learned the phonetic alphabet as well as the standard alphabet. They were both new knowledge to me."
"You have such a vocabulary, Jubal."
"It comes from reading the dictionary, twice."
Mrs. Wilson laughed at this. "Well, go have fun at recess."
"Okay."
"What? I didn't forget some of my work, did I?"
"Nope. I'm going to pulverize you."
"Oh. Ok. Well, since I don't like pain." Jubal was running even before he finished talking. The older boy raced after him, but he was no match to the training that Jubal had already put his young body to. The other boy was huffing and puffing long before Jubal even wanted to slow down.
Jubal stopped and looked at the older boy. "Aw, I was just getting warmed up."
"You're dead, Jubal, as soon as I catch my breath."
"Why?"
"Because you made fun of me."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. What can I do to make it up to you?"
The older boy blinked at him, opened his mouth, blinked, and then said, "Um, never mind. You really didn't want to make fun of me?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because I'm almost eleven and still in third grade?"
"I'm five and in third grade."
"Yes exactly."
"But, you took the same placement test I did, right?"
"Yes. . ."
"So, we did the same on the test. That's so cool."
"You're weird, Jubal, but I kind of like you."
"I don't think I'm weird, but thanks anyway."
Something dawned on Jubal, and he looked concerned when he began talking again, "why did they put you in third grade? If you're older shouldn't you be further?"
"Now the kid gets it."
"What did Mrs. Presman say about your test scores?"
"I had difficulty retaining what I read."
"Oh, I don't know what to say. She told me that I was good there."
"Jubal, um, I know this is weird, but, could you sort of, um, tutor me? They told my parents that I was at grade level everywhere else, but without the ability to retain what I read. . ."
"I'm five. I've never tutored anyone before."
"Well, we could at least try."
"Okay. Let's go back to the classroom."
"So, when you're reading, you do what again?"
"I form a scene in my mind with the items from the text. You know, here where it says that the clearing in the woods as filled with little yellow flowers. You form the picture of some woods. You have the trees in your mind?"
When George nodded, Jubal continued. "Now, cut down some of the trees."
"I see stumps in the woods now."
"Remove the stumps, and add some flowers. Make sure they're yellow."
"Wow, I see it. I see the clearing."
"Okay, you try it on your own."
"Wow, I understand. All words do this?"
"Some things are a lot harder to do this with. You know, when people are talking to each other. But mostly there, I just remember it as a conversation. Imagine two people talking to each other."
"But, that's so simple."
"Yeah, the longer that the passage goes, the more difficult it gets."
"Hey, can we practice this every day before my test?"
Jubal looked sadly out the window, but then looked in George's face.
"I can run anytime. I'll help you during recess, George, okay?"
Mrs. Wilson backed out of the room with a look of wonder on her face.
"Yes, Jubal come in."
"I wanted to talk to you about my classes."
"Okay, I expected you sooner than this. You've been at the school almost a month now. Are they too hard for you?"
"Oh, no. The science classes are interesting, but a little easy. I'm not sure why we have to learn social studies, but I guess you must have a good reason. Those are too easy also. If I'd known it was simply reading about kids in other countries, I might have tried to see if I could guess on the test."
"Um, well. . ."
Mrs. Presman had to stop for a moment and let her brain shift gears. She'd been prepared to move Jubal back a grade or two, but forward? She'd already been a little worried about putting him with children that much older than himself in the first place.
"I think we need to offer something else entirely for you. You just don't fit into our normal categories. I think that we'll have to do something a little more personal for you."
"What does that mean?"
"We'll keep you with the class for the social activities like music, gym, and art, but we'll be putting you into a tutor environment for all of your other classes. How does that sound?"
"Will I get harder science?"
"Yes, Jubal. You will get harder science."
"Wahoo!!!!"
Mrs. Presman just smiled at his enthusiasm. Jubal's personality seemed to fill spaces that his small body didn't.
"You're acting like I won't be seeing you again. Won't I be back next week?"
"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes that you're so new to all of this. Tomorrow is the first day of summer vacation, Jubal."
"I know, but why does that mean you stop teaching me?"
"Because there's no more school until this fall."
"Oh. Okay. Well, see you in the fall then?"
"I'm not qualified to teach seventh grade. We might need to cover a little bit of work when you get back, but you were just too bright. You learned what I had for you too quickly."
"I'm gonna miss you, Mr. Evans."
"I'll miss you too, Jubal."
He walked into the room and George stopped him, "What's wrong, Jubal? You aren't getting picked on by Stacey again are you. I told you she just thinks you're cute."
"No, George. I'm just sad because the school year is over."
"You would, Jubal," the older boy said with a snort. "Oh, I took my new placement test last night. They're moving me to seventh grade next year. I'll miss you, but I really wanted to thank you for all the help you gave me."
Jubal began to smile. This was the best news he'd heard all day. "We'll be in the same grade again!"
"Jubal, if I didn't like you so much I'd really hate you right now."
He tried to hold a severe look on his face, but he couldn't. He broke out into an infectious laugh, and Jubal joined right in. Jubal still didn't get what a lot of things were about, but at least he had a friend.
I admit it, I am a Disney kid. I was raised on the stories of Walt and his successors. Some people hate the policies of the company, or feel that they show an unrealistic view of the world.
That is the point.
Much like many of the stories here at BC, they show an idealized version of the world, some place we wish that the world was more like.
Soapbox aside, it is also a fun place for children. More than any other amusement park I am aware of Disneyland is meant for children. Disneyworld and every other park is meant for adults, with something there to keep the kiddies busy.
The size, and colors, and feel of Disneyland speaks to the child in each and every one of us. Some people out there deny this child its rightful place.
But let the child have her, or his, day. They deserve to be kids for a little while.
"I have to admit, dear, that when you suggested us driving out here I was a bit skeptical. He is so smart that I thought he wouldn't 'get it'."
"Harold, he may be a smart five year old, but he's still a five year old. Kids have a special way of looking at the world, that colors all of their interactions. He still hasn't learned that Santa Claus is fake, or that a talking mouse can't really exist."
"Mommy, Daddy, did you see me? I just talked to Mickey Mouse!"
They walked slowly into the park as Jubal flitted from one thing to the next. To Harold's jaded eyes, the buildings seemed so tiny at first, and then he began to look at it the way Jubal was.
The color and the feeling he got reminded him of coming into this same park for the first when he had been only a little older than Jubal. It was years ago now, but he still felt the same pull. He remembered the wonder of it all.
A little chuckle escaped his lips.
"I know it's probably too cheesy, but could we maybe go to the Tiki Room?"
Susan smiled and held out her hand to Harold.
"Sure, we can hit the Tiki Room as long as you promise to take me through the Haunted Mansion afterwards."
"Then we do the Jungle Cruise for Jubal's sake if nothing else."
He smiled down at the child in his arms and realized that it didn't matter where Jubal fit in his organization of the world. He was Jubal Marie, and he was unique.
They got up from their seats, and Jubal sleepily stirred.
"Did I miss it?"
"Yes, but you can always see it tomorrow night if you want."
"Ok, Daddy."
He hopped down and got between his parents, taking each of their hands in one of his diminutive ones. They walked out through the entrance to Adventure Land onto Main Street USA, from which it was a short hop past the period seeming buildings to the front entrance.
They made a left after leaving the gate and completed their short half mile want to their hotel.
Harold smiled at his son as he changed into the nightgown. Jubal still refused pajamas.
Harold pulled back the comforter and sheet, and Jubal hopped up into bed. Jubal was asleep before Harold finished pulling the covers over him.
They were just getting out of the car after having parked in front of The Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens. The air was a bit muggy, but that was more because of the gallons of water being pumped over sub tropical plants than anything else.
Parking in front of The Huntington is relative, considering the acres of parking lot that stand outside it. They passed through the gatehouse into a land of wonder all its own. The gardens were organized by land type. From desert to tropical. From Zen to Tea. Jubal fell in love with the formal rose garden.
"Mommy, they're so pretty. I love the, all. They're so red, and smell so nice."
The dome made entirely out of roses was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. He sat there looking up into the ceiling. It was a rose bush that had been bound and teased and pruned until it was a complete dome. He sat there on the stone benches and just looked at it. He found the spots where it had been pruned, but most of it was beyond his understanding.
"How do they do it, Mommy. How did they make the roses grow this way."
"With work and love, Jubal. They started with a few small plants. From there, they tied them to a frame and let them begin to grow. As they grew taller, they pruned off the branches that went in the wrong direction and tied down the ones that were almost the right direction."
"But, doesn't the bush hate being constrained?"
Susan smiled at the big word out of such a little mouth, "The bush doesn't know where it needs to go. That's what the gardener is there for. The gardener knows the direction that the bush needs to grow to maximize its potential."
"Look over there, Jubal. See that really tall rose bush over there?"
"That's a rose bush? where are the roses?"
"All of the plant's strength is going to make it taller. It no longer has the nutrients to make beautiful flowers."
"But the done is taller than that."
"Yes, you see, the gardener was able to help the rose bush. If he'd let it grow in any direction it wanted, then it would not have shown its full potential and be beautiful like the dome."
Jubal sat on the stone bench for a little while, a look of concentration on his little face. "Is that why you and Daddy want me to go to school? I need to be guided like the rose bush and not just left to learn things on my own?"
Susan tried not to let the surprise show on her face.
"Yes, that is an apt description, Jubal. Sometimes you're so smart you even amaze me."
The smile that split Jubal's face was incandescent.
When he was Jubal's age, he'd questioned his own father's insistence on visiting The Huntington. they could have spent another day at Disneyland, in his opinion.
Since then though, he grew to appreciate the art and gardens more.
As the sun slowly sank behind the horizon, Harold simply watch the deepening twilight with a bit of awe.
'Dad, I think you would have loved Jubal. He's so vibrant and full of life that he makes everything a joy. I miss you, Dad. Hug mom for me.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Susan asked from the other seat. It seemed she wasn't as asleep as she'd seemed at the time.
"Just thinking about my parents, a little sad that they didn't live long enough to meet Jubal."
"Harold, you know that I've never been one for religion much in general, but I do think that the spirit of people does linger in the places that they loved."
"Well, sometimes I think you're developing a hope in god."
"You mean how I act with Jubal? I know his grandparents wanted some religion in his life. I just feel the need to try and help along his belief."
Harold smiled at this. It was one of their long standing 'arguments'. She was an avowed Agnostic.
"Well, your secret is safe with me then."
He focused on the road after that as they quietly chatted about nothing at all.
"I will Daddy."
Jubal wandered around Harold's office a bit as Harold worked through a couple of files. Harold only had a couple of files for the new medical project to go over, and then they were off to the library again.
The boy read more than even he did.
"Have you got a minute, Harold?"
"Of course, Brad. What can I do for you?"
"I've been meaning to get back with you and ask how Jubal's been doing in school. And then you were off on vacation. . ."
"I know what you mean. It's been a really busy couple of months hasn't it? He has completed his sixth grade coursework for the most part. Just a couple more things and he will be moved over to the junior high building."
"So quickly?"
"You knew he was smart, sir." Harold said with a huge smile.
"I did, and I'm so glad that we got him into that school. Thanks for the information, Harold, and keep up the good work."
His wife had begun to despair in ever seeing the child again, and then there he was. She was. Whatever. If he believed in it, he'd think it was fate providing him with a present.
Jim still didn't think the little thing deserved any time, but his wife did.
She got that way every decade or so. He was SO glad she couldn't get pregnant any more.
"I'm not to be disturbed, Melanie. See to it."
Jim shut the door behind him and snorted at himself. Yes, what he'd told Harold all those months ago was correct. If he knew that kids could be as intelligent as Jubal, he might have actually wanted one of his own.
But never Jubal. How could Harold even stand that. . .that. . .non-gendered little. . .
His thoughts were interrupted by the door opening.
"I thought I said I was to be undisturbed."
"You're already that, daddy dearest. Disturbed I mean."
"Why are you here, Kyle?"
"I told you, it's Blaze now daddy dearest."
"Look, I let you have a little bit of leeway since you're my son, but I will not have you mimicking the homosexual behaviors of your peers."
"Relax, Dad. I was only doing it to tweak you. Besides, I'm bisexual. There's just too much variety out there for me to limit myself."
At Jim's expression Kyle began laughing, "Relax, Dad. You're just too damn easy."
Jim looked at his son's newly bleached hair, and the not so new eye piercing and sighed.
"How can you expect to take over the reigns of this company looking like that, Kyle?"
"Blaze, Dad. And who said I want to run Heredity?"
"It's in your blood, Boy."
"And if you actually succeed in your present scheme you're never retiring."
Jim smirked, "Leave it to you to boil things down to their most selfish. So, what is it I can do for my favorite sixteen year old in the world," Jim said with as much sarcasm as he could fit into the short sentence. "You didn't wrap another Bugatti around a pole did you? I'm not replacing another one."
"No, daddy-dearest, nothing so plebian. The girls want a night in San Fran and I want to treat them to it."
"Which girls are these?"
"No one you'd know, but I'm not sleeping with them." The look in his eyes added 'yet' to the end of it.
Jim smiled at this. He'd been a bit of the player in his day as well. He still was occasionally.
"Ok, so you want a car or money."
"Both. I'd like the Phantom and about a thousand."
"I'll only let you have the Phantom if Trent drives you."
"I wouldn't have it any other way."
He was a new kid at a school he'd been going to for a little over two years.
"Watch where you're going, Moron." A bigger kid bumped into him causing George to drop his book bag.
"Hey, that wasn't very nice."
Jubal helped George to pick up his bag. "Hey, George."
"Jubal! You're here!"
"Yep. I was able to get the last of my history and science classes done of the summer, so they let me come do the seventh grade thing."
George smiled at his young friend's turn of phrase.
"Hey, George." One of the girls in the hall had walked over to the two of them, but that's all she seemed to be able to say.
"Heya, Katie. Have you met Jubal?"
"Um, Hi, Jubal. Looking for your class? I they have grade school in the other building. I can show you if you like."
George blushed, "Katie, um."
"No thank you, Katie. I have a map to my classes here, but if you could tell me. Are we in the entranceway, or the back foyer. I couldn't tell from the outside of the building. They look so similar on the map."
"Katie, meet Jubal. The smartest kid in the school. Jubal meet Katie, the prettiest. . .um."
Katie blushed bright red, and looked at the ground.
"Sorry, Katie. I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"No, it's fine, George. You're kinda cute too."
She said this over her shoulder while she ran away, almost as if she wanted to avoid the repercussions of her actions.
"So, what do you have first?"
"Earth Science. This is a bit different than last year, huh. They have me changing classrooms every hour."
"That's junior high for you. Come on. I'll show you the science wing on my way to English."
Math was 1+1 and 5-8 and 215.
Math wasn't y=mx
How could it be?
"Jubal, you in here?" George called from the doorway.
Jubal sniffed out a, "Yeah."
"Your math teacher was worried, everyone's a little worried."
"I'm not smart enough!" Jubal wailed all the harder, and George wrapped him into a hug. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Jubal was only six years old and complaining because he couldn't do Algebra.
Eventually, the humor of the situation got the better of him and he started laughing.
"Stop laughing, George! I mean it."
"Jubal, you're getting As in all of your other classes. You are a six year old in junior high. And you're afraid you aren't smart enough."
Jubal glowered at him for another minute or two, and then started laughing himself. He couldn't help it. It was pretty funny when he got his pride out of the way.
"Thanks, George."
"Don't mention it."
Jubal hugged his friend back, and George gave out a little cry of pain.
"George! You need to see the nurse. Luke beat you up again, didn't he?"
"It's nothing."
"It's not nothing. We're going now!"
George could have stopped this, but he let his young friend pull him along until they got to the nurses office. "Hello, Jubal. Hello, George. Were you escorting Jubal to my office again, George?"
"This time I'm escorting him. Luke York beat him up again."
The smile left the nurses pleasant face. "George is this true?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am."
"How many times has he done this?"
"More than he should. I read the policy on bullies, Mrs. Quincy. George doesn't want the other kids to think he's a snitch. I'm telling you that it was Luke, even if George won't."
"George, honey, Jubal is right. We need to nip this in the bud, so to speak. Can you confirm that it was Luke who beat you up?"
George looked down at Jubal's innocent and hopeful face. He didn't know what kids could do to each other. Jubal didn't know that George had been taking beatings meant for Jubal. He did know one thing, however: Jubal was not going to be subjected to physical violence like this if he could do anything about it. Let the school come at him.
"Yes, ma'am. It was Luke."
Someone said as they tripped George in the hall.
"Stoolie, Stoolie!"
George's life was a living hell. One bully would be suspended in time for another to take his place. No one even looked Jubal's way, though, so that was good.
"Why do you let them do that to you?" Came a sweet voice from behind him.
George turned toward Katie with a smile, "because it gives you a reason to talk to me?"
She smiled and blushed at him.
Jubal slammed the door to his locker shut. "It's not fair!"
"What's not fair, Jubal."
"They moved me into another math class. I know I could get it. I just need more time."
George chuckled a bit, and Jubal's scowl melted.
"I heard they moved you to be the TA for my English class."
"Yeah, Mrs. Inahara had finally had enough of me correcting her, so now I get to correct her students papers. It's fun, though."
"Is that why I got an A on my last paper."
"Only because you deserved it. You obviously spend a good deal of time thinking out your arguments for the paper."
George smiled, and Katie gave him a playful slap on the arm. "That's great, George. Someday you might even be as smart as Jubal here."
"Hello, Jubal. How did you like this year?"
"It was good, but I wish I could get Algebra."
"I know, sweetie. Sometimes some things just take longer than normal. So, the school has a proposition for you."
"What's that, Mrs. Presman?"
"We know that you have taken all the classes you really wanted, but there are a couple of others that you don't really need algebra for, and we don't feel comfortable advancing you without algebra."
"I understand. You want to send me back to the grade school."
"Of course not. I'm going about this all wrong. Did you enjoy being Mrs. Inahara's TA?"
"That was fun. Apparently I'm the only TA in the school trusted to grade papers."
"And the other kids appreciated your notes to them. I love the thoughtful and kind way that you pointed out their mistakes."
"Mommy always tells me I should treat all of the other kids the way I'd like to be treated."
"And it shows, Jubal. Would you like to TA for some of the other English teachers as well next year?"
"Yes, yes, yes!! Oh, please, may I?"
"We'll put you with a math tutor, but until you are ready to move on there. . ."
"Ok, Mrs. Presman. See you next year!"
"See you next year, Jubal."
"Hello, George. Jubal's in back."
"Thanks, but my dad wanted me to ask you first. He's taking my brothers and me camping, and I wanted to know if Jubal wanted to come along."
"I have no problem with it. Just make sure you keep him safe, okay?"
"Sure thing, Mrs. Carson."
George went running off to find Jubal. Susan watched him leave and smiled. Jubal was growing up so fast, if not quite as fast as he wanted. Sometimes she wished that she could just keep him at this age forever.
George and Jubal packed up a small bag of his clothes and other things he might need, and Susan waved to him as he climbed into the back of George's car.
"Stay safe, Jubal."
"I will Mommy."
He lit another one as he waited for darkness to descend, and for the lights to go off in the house.
And a third cigarette while he waited for everyone to be nice and asleep. A smile crept across his face as he crushed the remnants of the last cigarette under his heel.
Showtime.
The fumes from the carpeting and the paint spread through the house quickly. The fire-alarms had been for show, and didn't alert the Carsons to their impending fate.
Anoxia got them before they woke, and they were dead before the fire consumed their bodies.
The rest of the house soon followed.
The first engine to respond god stuck in the mud about half a mile from the house. The second was delayed by a drunk driver in a semi cab.
The third's seals broke as soon as they began to release pressure on the water tank.
It was all the firefighters could do to keep the surrounding houses from joining in the pyre.
"Hi, Joey." Jubal was despondent and couldn't seem to find his normal smile.
"What's wrong, baby."
"I'm sad because Mommy didn't believe in Jesus."
"Oh honey. Jesus believes in us even when we don't believe in him. She was good people, and I'm sure that she's joined your grandparents by now."
"You really think so?"
"I know so. Smile, little one. There are some people here who would like to meet you."
"Hello, Jubal Marie. We've heard so much about you."
"Yes, we'd like you to come home with us."
"You think you'd like that, Jubal Marie." It almost seemed to Jubal like they were saying it hyphenated, like Anne-Marie or something. Like they were feminizing his name.
He shook off the feeling and smiled up at them. Sure, I think I'd like that.
They led him into the house and showed him a room festooned in pink and lace. "I hope you don't mind, but before we met you we were looking for a girl."
"Don't worry, Mrs. Johansen. I don't mind pink. My nightgown is pink."
She let a shark like smile slip as she looked over at Mr. Johansen. This could work out very well for them.
"So, Marie, why don't you start unpacking, and we'll just be downstairs."
They'd already left before Jubal realized that they'd used his girl name. He looked through the closet and dresser and realized that there was already a lot of clothing here in about his size. Girl's clothing. He smelled a bit of a rat at this, but not much. It's not like clothing changed who he was.
He chuckled at the thought and then he saw The Dress.
It might not be something special to anyone else, and in fact it was simply shoved into his closet like all the other dresses and top, but it was a perfect style, and he ached to try it on. It was a simple yellow sundress, but it was the same style that his grandfather had bought for him.
He pulled it out almost reverently, and tried it on. He'd missed this feeling. Missed his grandpa.
He sat down on the floor, showing the matching yellow bloomers that went underneath, and cried for people he would never see again. After a couple of minutes, he dried his tears and went downstairs.
"That's such a beautiful dress, Marie."
"Jubal. My name is Jubal."
"But it's Marie as well. think about it, Honey, your Grandparents named you with both a girl name and a boy name."
"Yeah, so I didn't need to change it if I chose to be a girl."
"Or if you choose to be a boy. You still have the choice, princess," said Mr. Johansen.
"But I like being a boy."
"You've just spent more time pretending to be a boy. How can you know if you really want to be a boy, unless you spend some time as a girl first. You've spent six and a half years as a boy, right?"
"Yeah. . ."
"Well, don't you think you should try to spend the same amount as a girl?"
"I guess so."
"See, I knew you'd understand, Marie."
Jubal gave a half smile and then she went upstairs. She still wasn't sure of whether or not they were right, but they were his parents now, and they would try to keep him going in the right direction.
"You've seen how she interacts with people, all sweetness and light. She's definitely more girl than boy right now, and we just need to feed into that self image. Then, when she turns twelve, she gets the less expensive surgery, and the rest is ours to do with as we see fit. Can you believe they put almost a quarter million dollars in that fund for her?"
"I know. I can almost see it now. Just five and a half more years, Frank. And that money will be all ours."
"Hey, sweetie. I love the color on you."
Jubal twirled so that his dress flared out. When he stopped he looked up at her and grinned. "It's just like the one my Grandpa bought for me. I love yellow. It's such a happy color."
"I'm glad to hear that. So, why the girl clothing, if I may ask?"
"I want to give being a girl a chance. I've spent so much time focusing on being a boy. If need to give being a girl a chance so I know for sure what I want in life."
"I'm not sure it works like that, but I applaud your courage, Jubal, or do I call you Marie when you look like this?"
"It's easier if you call me Marie."
"Ok, Marie."
There was something a little off about his smile. Something not quite. . .genuine?
Joey decided that she needed to have a deeper look into the backgrounds of Mr. and Mrs. Johansen. The doctor had checked Jubal out completely, so she knew it wasn't physical, whatever they were doing. And Jubal would seem happy enough to a third party.
But Joey knew him.
She wanted to protect that little boy from whatever the future held, even if that meant protecting him from his own 'parents'.
"Hey new gi. . .Jubal?"
"Hey George."
"What's with the dress?"
"My new parents decided I had to come to school as Marie this year."
"Damn, that sucks. They say why?"
"Yeah, because I haven't given being a girl enough of a go. You know, so I can make an informed decision when I'm twelve."
"Man, well, I guess they're your folks now, so not much you can do."
"Yeah, I know. Hey, most of it is in yellow, though. You know how hard it is to find boys clothes in yellow?"
"Jub. . .Marie, sometimes you ARE a girl."
Jubal stuck his tongue out at his friend and then went off to class.
"Hey, Katie. How goes?"
"Great. So, I wanted to let you know that not all the girls agree with Emily."
"I know. Emily is just jealous because I look better in a dress than she does."
"I know, right? She definitely looks better in pants."
"Yeah, but she doesn't want to admit that maybe she would be more comfortable as a boy."
"Huh?"
"Oh, yeah. The Johansens had me start talking to a therapist, and since I figure that my problems are my own, I talk about some of the kids at school, trying to figure them out. I mentioned Emily, and the shrink said that Emily might possibly be a boy in a girls body, but she couldn't make a final determination without talking to her directly."
"That happens?"
"Yeah. Apparently some boys feel like they should be girls and vice versa."
"Wow, that is so different."
"I know. It shocked me a bit, but I can see what she means. I don't feel like one of the girls when I wear a dress, anymore than you feel like one of the boys when you wear pants. It's in here that we feel who we are, and clothing doesn't change that."
"Sage Jubal speaks again. . .I mean Marie."
"I do prefer Jubal, Katie. Thanks."
He really wasn't a girl, and this who experiment of the Johansen's proved it to him. He marked off the date, April 6th and went downstairs to talk to them about it.
He heard shouting before he got to the living room.
"Shut UP! I need my cut now."
"Maxwell, calm down. We don't have it. It's still about five years before we will be able to get our hands on it."
"That's not good enough, Frank. Not even close."
"Maxie, baby. You need to calm down."
"CAN IT OLIVIA!"
"Max, you may be my baby brother. . ."
"I'm the one holding the gun. I'm the one who gets to decide who's going to calm down."
"Maxie."
"DON'T CALL ME MAXIE!!!!!"
The gun went off, and Jubal hear something heavy crumple to the floor. He hid around the corner.
"Maxwell, we can still work this all out."
"They're closing in on me, Frank. They know that the fire at the Carson's was arson. They KNOW damn it. I've been suspended awaiting a full investigation into my work."
"You're a fire inspector, Maxwell. You should have been able to make it go away."
"Somehow they figured out that the report was faked. They sent an outside inspector in."
"How did they discover it was arson. You told me. . ."
"That I made the house ignite on its own? Yeah. I did. I started an electrical fire in the living room. Anyone should have looked into the fire and seen what I wanted them to see. Which is a lot of nothing. Accident. . .stay back Frank."
"Maxwell, just hand me the gun. . ."
"I'm warning you!"
There was a scuffling noise, and the lamp went out after a crashing sound. Jubal huddled deeper into his corner in the hall, too afraid to move.
More heaving breathing, the sound of bodies slamming into objects, and then a flash and the gun went off again.
Jubal heard sirens outside, and he huddled in the darkness. Someone opened the front door.
"Throw down your weapon!"
"Eat me, Pig!"
There was more gunfire and the sound of running feet. He felt the arms of someone pick him up, and he struggled a bit. "The child is safe, we have two dead bodies in here. Someone get protective services, on the line."
"Jubal, Honey. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Joey. I'm not sad. They arranged for Maxwell to kill the Carsons."
His voice tore out her heart. There was no life in it at all. His little face was slack, and he just stared into the distance.
She folded him into a hug, but he didn't hug her back. He just sat there limply.
"I'm so sorry about the Carsons."
Jubal began to cry. "Why did this have to happen, Joey? Why did got let those people kill the Carsons? They were so good and decent."
"I don't know, Jubal."
"That's not good enough. If god doesn't believe in good people more than bad, then I can't believe in him right now."
"Jubal. . ."
"No more, you hear me god? I'm not believing in you anymore!"
Jubal cried himself to sleep in Joey's arms.
The other thing was that I don't like hurting children or killing puppies, and it really feels sometimes with this story that this is exactly what I'm doing.
So, I'm going to give Jubal a break for the next four or so years of his life. High school is hard enough without thrusting foster homes and other crap at him.
After he turns twelve, after he's had time to recover, when the crap hits the fan and Heredity Inc begins to really ruin his life, then I can revisit some of the themes that I was going to use here.
For now, we always know that there are storm clouds on the horizon, but this is definitely the calm before the storm.
One last thing, before I forget.
I realized that as Jubal grew older, I have been spending more time in each story, or I should say less. Each story covers a shorter period. This one ran from mid May through August.
As such, there is no way, at the current rate, I am covering 4 years in 5k words. So, instead of the 5 chapters initially planned before Jubal got to the age of twelve, there will be more. hoe many more? I don't know. But, I will have at least 4, and possibly double that.
We'll just have to see.
"Listen to yourself, Haley. This child needs love and support, not hopping from one home to the next."
"Have you seen what's gone on in his life? The loss he's had to suffer? That child is not recovering from this."
"Of course he is. He will recover as soon as he actually wants to. It might take some outside help, but he can recover."
Jubal sat there, not really listening to anything going on around him. His parents had been killed because of him. It was too much.
No, Marie. His parents had been killed because of Marie. When the Johansens had discovered that Jubal was Marie sometimes, they had the Carsons killed because they felt that Jubal needed to be Marie more than Jubal.
If he was never Marie again, then no one would know he could be Marie. If no one knows about Marie, no one else will die for her realization into the world.
That was the answer. He looked up and realized Joey was looking at him strangely. He didn't know what she'd just said to him, and he couldn't tell her that he wanted to kill Marie, or at least the part of her that was him.
He'd just have to show it through his actions.
"Jubal, baby are you there?"
He sat there looking at her. No more Marie.
"Jubal?"
No more Marie.
no more marie
Joey picked him up, and still he sat here staring off into space.
no more.
The decorations were a neutral white, and she lay Jubal down on the bed, as she went in search of a yellow bed spread. He hadn't moved an inch by the time she got back and she was beginning to get worried.
She put the yellow blanket around him and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Jubal, honey, I need you to say something to me."
"no more."
"No more what, baby."
"No more Marie."
"You don't want to be Marie anymore?"
Jubal nodded his head slowly, as if it took all his effort to make that slight movement.
"Then you don't have to, honey. You can be whomever you want to be."
She folded the boy into her arms and simply held him. They sat there until her back began to hurt, and sat there some more.
"Joey?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Can I call you Mommy?"
Joey was stunned for a second, her breath catching in her chest. She took a full breath and let it out.
"Jubal, honey, you know this is just temporary, right."
Jubal paused for the longest time, nodded and opened his mouth to speak, "but I don't want it to be temporary. You've been there since my Grandparents died and I'm tired of temporary."
"The Carsons adopted you, Jubal. They really loved you."
Jubal stopped speaking and Joey realized she'd gone a step too far. She took a deep breath in preparation to speak.
"I can do better, Joey. I can be better. I will do anything you want me to, just don't make me go anywhere else to live."
"For now. . ."
"Not 'for now', Joey! Forever."
"Jubal, would you be happier if I lied to you? I could tell you I'll let you stay here forever, but I can't do that. I can't adopt you. I'm not married. I work for protective services. There are so many things that prevent me. I probably can't even be your foster mom for very long."
"Probably not means probably can, Joey. Check it out, for me? Please."
"Ok, Jubal."
"While I'm here, can I call you Mommy?"
"I preferred Mama Joey with all my foster kids."
"Ok, I can live with that, Mama Joey."
"Jubal! Hi!"
Katie ran up and threw him in a hug, "I was so worried about you. We heard what happened to the Johansens. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm okay." Gone was the easy smile, and the friendly attitude. Jubal was sinking into himself even as he tried to cling to Katie like a life raft.
"Hey, it's okay to hurt, Jubal. Nothing says that you have to do this alone, okay?"
Jubal nodded into her, and she led him off to his first class of the day.
He sat there looking at the papers, and some of the old feeling came back to him. He really enjoyed helping these other kids.
He mostly didn't feel like doing anything right now, but these kids depended on him. How could he be so selfish as to deny them the comfort and aid they needed.
He knew firsthand what it was like to lose comfort.
He graded the entire stack of papers before the end of the period. He needed more. He needed to do more.
The next class and the next class and the one after that. Before he knew it, he was to his last period of the day, and there he was in the library with Mr. Evans.
"Why can't I get this, Mr. Evans?"
"Jubal, you understand the math. When we walk through the logic of it, you can solve the problems."
"But letters can't be numbers."
"What if they could be?"
"No, English isn't math."
"Let's try this a different way."
"Okay. . ." Jubal sounded unsure, but he waited while Mr. Evans began to explain it to him.
"Look at this simple one here. 1+x=5."
"Okay, but like I said, that makes no sense. I know that it has to be 1+4=5, and the x is just wrong."
Mr. Evans smiled at the back of Jubal's head.
"Jubal, the x is always wrong, but let's just look at this for a moment. What did you do to get four?"
"Well, I knew that it had to be 1 less than 5, because I was adding 1 to something to get 5."
"Exactly."
"But x isn't four."
"Actually, you just proved it is?"
"What?"
"x, or y, or z, or q, or whatever means 'something'."
Jubal had a questioning look on his face.
"Like you said. 1 plus something equals 5."
"So, something is 4. . .and something is x. x is 4? x is 4!"
"Here is the thing about variables like x. . .they change from problem to problem."
"That is difficult, isn't it. If you don't always know what thye are, then why use them?"
"Because they represent numbers that you don't know."
Jubal blinked at that, and then a light sort of flashed behind his eyes. It was so simple, how come he hadn't realized this before.
"Why didn't you tell it to me this way before?"
"This isn't the first time we've had this conversation, Jubal. Frankly, I'm a bit surprised you even got it this time. Happy and relieved, but surprised."
"Why?"
"Algebra, and many other things in life, requires abstract thought. It is a brain development thing."
"I still don't understand why not."
"Sometimes you just have to accept things on faith, at least until you get to calculus and start learning the why."
"Can we do calculus next then?"
"No, you have a lot of other groundwork to cover, and you only just really began learning to solve for x."
"Maybe next week then?"
Mr. Evans smiled. "Maybe at that."
Joey chuckled at Jubal's enthusiasm.
She was taking fewer hours at the department so that she could be home when Jubal got here. She didn't mind too much. For right now she was refusing the stipend for a foster parent, but she did have enough for both their needs.
"Mama Joey?"
"Yes, Jubal."
"Do you love me?"
"Of course I love you, child. I wouldn't be doing this otherwise."
"Ok, if you love me, then I can tell you that I love you too."
Joey was trying to figure out baking bread for probably the thousandth time in her life. She'd never quite been able to get it to turn out right, and while waiting for Jubal to get home, she figured that it might be a good time, but the rock hard lump of dough on her counter was defying her efforts to kneed it.
That's better than running onto the floor like the last batch.
"Mama Joey?"
"Yes, Jubal."
"Can we get me some pajamas? I think I'm ready to move on from a night gown."
Joey looked at Jubal, who seemed nervous about something. His eyes pleaded with her, and she simply had to give in.
"Of course we can. What color would you like?"
"I want to see what they have available in the boy's section before I pick a color."
Joey cocked her head to look at him, and then slowly nodded. "Ok, Jubal. Let's go to the store and take a look."
"Hey, George, you're back too!"
"Huh?"
"I didn't see you yesterday."
"Oh, that, um, I got suspended for fighting."
"What? Why were you fighting? You know the school doesn't tolerate any fighting."
"One of the other kids said you were a faggot, so George knocked his lights out."
Katie liked Jubal, but she figured if he was going to be in the same class as they were, it was time to stop pulling punches.
"I'm sorry, George."
"It's okay, man. So, are you back as Jubal for good?"
"Yeah. The Johansens were forcing me to come as Marie. I didn't want to though."
"But you made such a cute girl," Katie said.
Both Jubal and George made faces of disgust, which sent Katie off in a fit of giggles.
"Well, at least you are back as Jubal now."
"And if I have anything to say about it, the rumor mill will start spreading that the girl clothes weren't your idea," Katie said.
One of the bigger Eight graders went to push Jubal, and George stepped in front of him. In the past year, George had grown into his attitude, and it showed as he stood there between the seven year old and the thirteen year old.
"Norm, I don't think attacking Jubal is such a great idea anymore."
"Yeah, Norm, did you see Bobby Jenkin's face last week? He had to be carted out of here in an ambulance."
"I heard he went to the morgue."
"Shut up you guys, I take Karate and I can take good old George here."
Norm dropped into what he assumed was a karate pose, and simply looked like something copied from a memory of a bad kung-fu film.
George looked at him questioningly, and the color drained our of Norm's face.
"On second thought, guys, George isn't worth it. I know I could kick his butt," with which Norm turned to walk away.
"Yeah, right," one of his cronies said, the sarcasm evident.
"You gotta stop doing this, George."
"I owe you, Jubal. I was like those kids. Angry. I didn't like learning, and I hated school. I took it out on kids like you. When you stopped and talked to me, instead of just running away, something clicked in me. And then you helped me to learn how to learn."
"George. . ."
"No, hear me out, Jubal. It's weird enough me saying this as it is. I feel like a girl or something. Anyway, just thanks, okay. And I protect you because I need it, not because you do. I owe you."
Jubal teared up a bit and was going to hug his friend, but George held him back. "Dude, guys don't hug each other. And you're seven and a half. You're old enough that you can be considered one of the guys."
Jubal nodded seriously, but then a questioning look came to his face, "Can guys still hug girls?"
"Sure, but only if they're your girlfriend or your mom or something. You have so much stuff to learn, Jubal."
"I'm know lots of stuff."
"I mean people stuff. Stuff not in any book. Look, just watch how I treat people. Learn from that. I'm a pretty decent guy."
"Most of the time," Katie said sneaking up behind George and throwing her arms around him from behind.
"Does that mean she's your girlfriend, George?"
They both blushed, and George was the first one to find his voice, "Nah, girls can hug whomever they want, whenever they want."
Katie lost a bit of her smile, and George hurried to add, "not that I wouldn't love to have Katie as my girlfriend. I just think I'm a bit young for dating, or at least my parents do."
"Ok, then I can live with that." Katie kissed him on the cheek, and he flushed bright red.
Mr. Evans had barely been able to keep up with teaching him the rudiments of Algebra, and was happy that he had nothing to do with the high-school. Sure, he'd miss Jubal, but so would most of the other staff in the Junior high, and all of the teachers he'd left behind in third.
"I don't know. It's hard to believe that last year I was going to Disneyland with my parents, and this year. . ."
"I know, Jubal. Some things like this are tough to deal with. Have you been speaking to a counselor?"
Jubal shook his head.
"You know, talking things out with someone can really help you to work through them. You may want to consider having Joey look into that for you."
"Okay."
"Well, this really is goodbye, Jubal. You know everything I can teach you. You'll have a great time in the high school next year."
"I hope so."
"Hello, Mrs. Presman. Why so formal this year?"
"Supposedly it shows more respect for the student."
"I much prefer you to call me Jubal, Mrs. Presman. It makes me feel more comfortable."
"Ok, Jubal. I can do that for you. So, I hear that you finally got algebra."
"Yep." Jubal said with a smile. It wasn't anywhere near to where it had been. The infectious joy was missing.
"Then I see no choice but to move you up to the high school next year. You will be the youngest one there, but not the only young student. A number of students come to us after homeschooling and are put into high school early."
"Okay. How early."
"The second youngest freshman is eleven, turning twelve next school year."
"Ok, so it's just like I'm used to. Being four to six years younger than everyone else."
"High school is a bit different, though. Be careful, okay?"
"I'll try."
In the morning he would get up early, before Mama Joey woke up, and begin running. He made a couple of laps around the block, just enough to start feeling awake and fatigued at the same time, and then he'd walk back to the house.
After breakfast he would run over to Georges house, and they would play x-box or do something else like that.
Today was a bit different.
"What is that?" Jubal said pointing to the weight bench that George was putting together.
"It's for lifting weights, to get stronger."
"Oh," Jubal replied, not understanding more than that.
"You run a lot, right?"
"Yeah."
"And as you continue to run, you are able to run further and longer that you could when you started, right?"
"Sure."
"Lifting weights is just like that. You train yourself with weights so you can lift more longer."
"Oh. okay. Can I lift with you?"
George's dad chose this time to come in.
"Sure, Jubal, just realize that we will only have you lifting a little bit. You still have a lot of growing to do before you can start packing on the muscle."
"Okay!" Jubal's smile almost made it's way back to infectious.
"You sure ask a lot of question, don't you?"
"Occupational hazard. Do you know what that means?"
"Dr. Rath, I may be seven, but I'm going to high school in the fall, so can we cut all the talking down and get to the real reason I'm here?"
Dr. Rath opened his eyes wide for a moment, then regained his composure and continued, "when Joey called me and told me that you were smart, I thought smart for a kid. Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed."
"It's alright, Dr. Rath. Happens to the best of us."
Dr. Rath was about to get a little upset, but then he realized he was being teased, by a seven year old.
"My, but aren't you the witty one."
"Yep, I've been called that, and much worse besides."
"So, tell me about Marie."
"Would you mind if we don't talk about that? Please?"
"Jubal, I know that some things are difficult to talk about, and well table this topic for now, but to get to the root of everything that's going on right now, we will need to talk about Marie sometime."
Jubal squirmed a bit, showing his physical age, so Dr. Rath tried a different approach, "okay, I see I'm making you uncomfortable, but I just want to let you know that this is your decision, and no one else's. You can't let what a few people have implied or suggested change what you believe in your heart to be true."
Jubal looked at Dr. Rath questioningly.
"I know that until you came to live with Joey, that you wore a nightgown every night. Probably because it's comfortable."
"How do you know?"
"Because Mrs. Rath tells me so. She even wanted me to try wearing one once. She thought I might understand some of my clients better."
"Did you? Wear a nightgown?"
"Ah, see that would be talking about me. We're here to talk about you. If you ask me my credentials, I will give them to you, like I do all my patients, even if that is only from personal experience."
"Okay, but some day you have to tell me."
"Curious about that, huh? Why do you think that is?"
"Well, um, because I miss wearing my nightgown. . ."
"Ah, and you feel if a grown man can wear a nightgown, then so can you?"
Jubal nodded silently.
"Jubal, you'll come to realize that this life is not a simple matter of mimicking the actions of others. Sometimes you have to stand out to be yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"How many eight year olds will there be in the high school?"
"One."
"So, are you going to go back to third grade to be with people your own age? Follow their example for dealing with school?"
"No, because I need to be in high school to learn more about the world."
"And social behavior is much the same. What someone else does, or doesn't do, may be the exact opposite of what is right for you."
"But, the other kids all seem to try to fit into proper groups. The girls act one way, and the boys another."
"Is that really the case? Think about it, Jubal. Do all of the girls act the same, as a mass?"
"Well, Emily has really short hair all the time, and she only ever wears pants. A lot of the other girls wear skirts."
"Can you think of other things that Emily does that aren't the same as what the girls do?"
"Yeah, she was always trying to get with the boy's teams in P.E. You know when all the P.E. classes got together on the same field."
"Why?"
"I don't know. Some of the guys said it was because she was boy crazy."
"Well, examine that. Does it fit the evidence?"
"What do you mean, Dr. Rath."
"So, she wanted to play with the boys to be closer to the boys. Did she get closer to the boys?"
"No. They were upset because she was better than half of them."
"So, she outperformed a lot of the boys?"
"Yeah."
"And the boys didn't like her for it?"
"Right."
"Well, if she wanted to be with the boys, then don't you think she would have performed less well?"
"But then she wouldn't be giving it her best effort."
"Yes, but she'd be achieving her other goal of getting with the boys."
A light dawned on Jubal, and he had a little smile on his face, "I see what you mean now. We can have conflicting goals. If she really wanted to get noticed by the boys, out doing them isn't the best way. Girls like Katie who wear skirts and stuff are the ones who get noticed."
"So, what other reason could she have for wanting to play on the boys teams."
"She was weightlifting."
"What?"
"Sorry, I don't mean she was 'weightlifting' weightlifting, I meant that she was pushing herself. Trying to improve. She was better than most of the girls, and so she wanted to be with the boys so that she had something heavier to work against. Like when I run an extra lap of the block."
"That is certainly a very big part of why she was doing that. Can you think of any other reason she might do that. Be with the boys."
"Because. . .she feels more comfortable with the boys than the girls?" Jubal said in a small voice.
"Yes, Jubal. That is likely a big part of it. She feels more comfortable with the boys."
"Does that mean she should be a boy instead?"
"Here we're getting ahead of ourselves, Jubal. There is so much that goes into gender identity, that a few small clues will never bring us to a full understanding. It is not a matter of black or white, yes or no, male or female."
"I don't understand."
"And it may be years before you do, but gender is not the same thing as sex. For most people they are either male, physically, or female."
"I know, but I've got a bit of both."
"Yes, you do, Jubal. A persons sex is physical and genetic. It is how they look and smell and develop."
"Boys and girls smell differently?"
Dr. Rath smiled, "most people spell differently, but there are commonalities between most men and most women, yes."
"Cool."
"Gender is not so limited as one or another, Jubal. Gender is about how we feel, and what we like. It is about perceptions as well. Things we define as 'female' tend to become the definition of female to us."
"Like wearing dresses, and being wives, and having long hair, and being able to hug anyone for any reason?"
Dr. Rath smiled at Jubal for this. "Yes, like being able to hug anyone for any reason. But determining what gender you more associate with isn't as simple as creating a tally sheet and marking down a check under female for your female traits and a check under male for your male ones, and then determining which one has more tick marks."
"Why not?"
"Because that would be too easy, and people like me would be out of a job."
Jubal laughed at that.
"More seriously, Jubal, Being male or female in front of the world is more about which one feels more right. It is an emotional thing more than a logical one."
"Oh." The smile left Jubal's face and he looked intently at the floor.
"But that's why people like me really exist. It is hard for us to untangle our emotions from each other. Talking about it helps. Especially with someone who has some understanding about how emotions shape us."
"Do you have that understanding, Dr. Rath."
"Sometimes I think so. Others. . .I'm not so sure. I can listen to you though. Just talk to me about what you want. I'm done teaching for the moment."
"Ok, Dr. Rath. I want to tell you about my first dolly."
"Did it go well, honey?"
"Really well, Mama Joey."
Jubal was silent for a moment, just standing there in the waiting room, looking really uneasy.
"Jubal honey, what is it?"
"Can I start wearing my night gown again?"
Joey smiled down at the boy and took him into a hug. "Of course you can, Jubal. Whatever you want."
"Then I still want to go to school as Jubal."
"Ok, sweetie. We can do that."
Surveillance was what he did. It was his life. Listening to people, when they didn't know he was listening? It gave him a small thrill. He preferred listening to girls, but he could live with the current target, especially since it seemed as if she was beginning to become more of a girl again.
Mr. Hastings would be pleased.
Lately, the take from the surveillance of his son had made Mr. Hastings more and more angry. Especially when he became aware that his son Aaron wasn't as heterosexual as he claimed.
Well, there were thing in the works that the man wasn't supposed to know about. Rumblings on the horizon. Things that would change the entire world.
After all, surveillance was his life.
He was happy with the world, even if he wasn't quite as happy as he used to be.
"Hey, shrimp!"
"I'm not a shrimp, I'm seven."
George laughed at their frequent greeting from the summer. He'd bulked up a bit, and had hopes of making the freshman football team, or maybe even the JV team.
Jubal was thinking of trying to run track even though he knew there was no way he was fast enough. Simply too small.
"Hey, George."
George's mouth hung open, and he couldn't speak.
"Dude, it's just Katie."
George went bright red, "Tell me that when you hit puberty, shrimp. You look very nice today, Katie."
It was her turn to blush, "I'm glad you like it."
"Hey, guys. The warning bell has already rung. I don't know about you two, but I don't want to be late on my first day of high school."
The two of them laughed and followed Jubal into the building.
"Has anyone else had that Jubal kid in class already?" Mrs. Finks sounded tired and exasperated.
9th grade honors English was supposed to be an easy course to teach. That is why she taught it every year. All those young, self conscious ,minds to fill with her folderol and whatnot.
Not Jubal. Never Jubal.
it felt as thought about the only thing he didn't cal her on was her name, which he assumed, rightly, that she knew.
It would have been ok if he'd been wrong, but no, he was right in every point, from pronunciation to grammar, that he'd called her on.
"He's a dear sweat boy. Very attentive in AP biology, and he seems to want to learn." Mr. Andrews was one of the more pleasant teachers in the science wing.
"He's taking AP Biology too? I figured he was smart, as he was a freshman in AP Chemistry, but dang." Mr. Nozawa commented.
"I worry about him in P.E. Some of the other boys noticed his physical peculiarity, so I'm having him change in my office for the rest of the year. Boy can sure run though." Mr. Brats was also the track coach.
"He questioned everything I had to say. . .and what physical peculiarity?"
"Oh, hadn't you heard? He's intersexed. What that means is he's a hermaphrodite apparently. Got both down there."
"What's he doing in a boys PE class then?!" Mrs. Finks was incensed.
"Would you want him in with the girls either?"
She considered it for a moment, and then shook her head. "It would be just as disruptive, but having a girl change in your office, even if it is Jubal. . ."
"Look, you know that the only place in my office that doesn't have a camera on it is my personal shower and changing area. I'm covered 24-7. I don't like it, but it's for my protection as well as the kids. I just make like a good little boy and stay in camera while he changes and there are no worries."
"You know, if he wasn't only seven years old, we'd be less likely to even be having this conversation. You would take less offense at a thirteen year old know it all than you are at an seven year old one."
Mrs. Finks got a strange look on her face, "How does that even work? I mean, how can he literally have both?"
"I haven't examined him, and I'm not his doctor so I would never do such a thing, but chances are, if he's not sterile, then he only has the gonads of one gender or the other. With a vaginal canal, likely that means he, or more likely she, has ovaries and no testes. Like I said, however, I don't know. There is so much about human sexual development that we still don't know." Mr. Andrews had been a GP before he retired to teach high school. A lot of his colleagues thought he was crazy and that he should have become a professor in a medical school. Then Dr. Andrews had said that he wanted to deal with people who were more mature.
Mrs. Finks was calming down, realizing that there was more to this child than she'd originally thought. Two AP classes and honors English. Maybe she should consider herself lucky to have him in her class.
George quickly let go of Katie's hand.
"Guys, I wouldn't be bothered even if you were making out at the table, just as long as you keep your clothes on while I'm around."
Katie blushed, and George sheepishly picked her hand back up.
" I take it you not really listening to your parent's advice about dating any more, George?"
"Well. . ."
"George and I are just hanging out at school."
"Even if you never go on an official date, if you're focusing your attention on one another you are courting, which in the more current vernacular is dating."
George laughed at this. "Dude, you know the way to suck the mystery out of everything."
"You know me, dispelling myths and rumors at every turn. And causing some of my own."
"What are you talking about?"
"Apparently I was born a girl, and I'm on serious testosterone shots which gives me a chubby."
"What are you talking about?"
"I was in P.E. this morning."
"And?" George asked.
Katie blushed, "You took off your underwear and bent over at some point didn't you?"
It was Jubal's turn to blush. "I wasn't even thinking. I accidentally dropped my underwear I was changing into on the floor, and I bent over instead of crouching down."
"I'm so sorry, Jubal."
"It's ok. I get to change in coaches office, and I'm more comfortable with a private shower anyway."
Katie blushed bright red and looked away from Jubal.
"Katie, what's up?"
Katie just shook her head.
"Come on, Katie, we're friends here, right?"
"Well, they have a point. I mean does your," she got really quiet when she said it, "penis even work?"
"Yes, my urethra goes all the way to the end of my penis."
Katie went scarlet and hid her face in her hands.
"I shouldn't have said anything."
"No, it's alright, Jubal. It's been really bothering me since you came to school as Marie. You just seemed so. . .natural and I wondered if maybe. . ."
Jubal smiled at this. "Maybe I am more Marie than Jubal. Who really knows? I'm just glad I have more than four years to decide which one I want to be."
"Just promise me that you two will stay my friends no matter what, Okay?"
"Jubal, or Marie, I'm always your friend." Katie said.
"Me too. I owe you too much otherwise."
"He look everyone, it's the amazing boy-girl. And it's even got a girlfriend AND a boyfriend."
George was what some would call an early bloomer. He was already six foot tall at thirteen and he weighed just under two-hundred pound. He'd been working out a lot over the summer and very little of his weight was due to fat.
He was looking the other freshman in the eye while sitting down. He decided to stand.
"I believe that you owe Jubal an apology. He prefers to be called a boy. The proper gender pronoun is he."
George had a secret love for choir. He had private voice lessons every Thursday. His voice coach often told him that he'd never need a microphone if he chose to sing a solo.
He proved it now.
The entire cafeteria quieted down, and all eyes turned to him. Realizing that he was the center of attention, the freshman began to slink away.
"Stop, did I say you could leave?"
The freshman froze in fear. He slowly shook his head.
"I think you owe Jubal an apology."
"But I saw its pussy!"
Jubal and Katie turned bright red, and George glowered.
"I've told you what the proper form of address is."
The freshman gained courage from somewhere as he looked around. He knew the policy for fighting as well as anyone else here. He might have to take a few hits, but George would be suspended.
He got a smile on his face, "what, pansy-boy? Maybe c@#$ 'n d%$#?"
A couple of the girls gasped, and some of the older boys started to get to their feet. A lot of people might have agreed that Jubal was weird, but the kid was obviously taunting George and even they didn't approve of his language at the moment.
"I need a couple of witnesses to this boys language to come with me please."
George picked the kid up by the back of his shirt and began walking down the hall toward the teacher's lounge. The kid would be lucky if he weighed even ninety pounds soaking wet. George carried him as if he were nothing.
"Put me down you oaf."
George walked right into the sanctum-sanctorum followed by five or six other students.
Coach Hensen looked away from the discussion of Jubal at the other end of the room to see the students enter.
"George, what are you doing? You know if you get suspended for bullying you can't join the team."
"Actually, sir, I was bringing this fellow frosh because he has something to confess."
The teens behind George nodded.
Coach Hensen turned toward the terrified boy.
"Well, spit it out."
George began to prompt, "Say, I was."
"I was. . ."
"hazing."
"hazing. . ."
"You know the rest."
"Jubal."
The teachers at the other end of he room had noticed the students at this point and wandered over to see what was happening.
"You were bullying?" Mr. Nozawa asked. He recognized the face from his other morning AP chemistry class.
The freshman nodded, but Mr. Nozawa looked at George. "This isn't some sort of prank, is it. Bullying a kid into confessing he's bullying someone else?"
One of the other teens stepped forward.
"No, Mr. Nozawa. The other five of us witnessed most of what went on. The freshman used some crude epithets referring to Jubal, and then tried to taunt the tall freshman into hitting him."
"Does everyone know who Jubal is already?" Mrs. Finks asked.
"Just the student body council."
"Oh, that's right, Piers, you're the student body president this year."
Piers, the one who'd been speaking simply smiled and gave a nod of his head.
"We'll take care of this. Why don't the rest of you head on back to class, or lunch, or wherever you were before this happened."
"Thank you, Mr. Andrews."
The boy, whose name was Lance Goeing, looked around him in fear. He'd thought to make an impression on some of the other kids and maybe get in with the popular crowd, but somehow he misread the situation. Jubal was a freak, and the popular kids were supposed to pick on him, right?
Mr. Nozawa glanced at his class roster quickly and then turned toward the boy, "Lance, you're in my AP chemistry class. Why did you do this? You must be smarter than this."
"I don't know."
"Lance we've got no choice in the matter," Mrs. Finks said, "we have to suspend you for a week."
"What!?"
"During orientation yesterday, they explained the policy on hazing, didn't they?"
"Yes."
"What is the policy?"
"First offense: one week suspension and banning from all extracurricular activities for the rest of the school year. Second offense: expulsion."
"So, you see what we have to do. I'm sorry, Lance, but you know the policy."
"But it's so stupid. bullying happens in high schools. A silly policy can't stop it!"
Coach Hensen look over at the boy, his anger only slightly held in check.
"Two years ago, this school believed what you did. Two years ago, hazing and bullying happened on a regular basis. Sure, they would suspend kids, but nothing ever really came of it because the kids who got suspended blamed the person they'd been bullying and it would get worse.
"Two years ago, my own daughter started coming to school here. She was afraid how people would treat her because she wasn't born my daughter.
"People found out, as people always do. There was harassment and name calling. Then, something seemed to change. The captain of the football team asked her to prom.
"She was so happy, and her mom and I were so proud. She had the most beautiful dress."
Coach Hansen began to cry remembering what had happened
Mrs. Finks finished it for him.
"They striped her naked and dumped her in front of the hotel where the prom was taking place. It's grand ballroom. She was mortified and crying and trying to get away, find some refuge. Likely to call her parents. She was hit by a car and killed instantly."
Lance was white, and shaking a bit. "Why did you tell me this?"
"Because you have to know. Hazing can't be permitted. For two years, we have had almost no bullying. For two years, the students have policed themselves. In two more years it will begin to go back to the way it was unless people remember the cost of a little harmless hazing," Coach Hansen spit out the word harmless like it was filthy.
Mrs. Finks looked sadly at the boys, but there was no leeway here. There could not be. "You will sit in the security room until your parents arrive to take you home."
"Eades, you're up next!"
At hearing his name called, Jubal and Katie yelled, "Go, George!"
They were doing running drills, checking the speed of each person going out for wide receiver. George was going out for whatever they felt he could do. He'd never really played football before, but he really wanted to belong to a team, and this one seemed to be what he was best fitted for.
"Go!"
And he was off and running. They had them running half the length of the football field, about 50 yards.
George had already stopped and turned around before the person he'd been running against showed up. The other guy was breathing a bit hard, but it wasn't enough to even really get George's heart rate up.
"Samuels, get over here."
"Right away, Coach."
"Eades, back here at the start."
Samuels was the state all-star pick wide receiver from last year. He was on the varsity team already, of course. Tryouts for last year's team were almost a formality.
"No holding back, either of you. . .Go."
George took off. He ran full out, but Samuels was just a bit faster. His smile faded at being put against the varsity player, because he'd failed to beat him.
"Dagnabit, Samuels, I told you to run full out!"
"I did, Coach. Honest. Eades here is too damn fast for me."
"Wha. . ? But you beat me across the line!"
"And you're a freshman. I should have been able to smoke you."
A smile began to grow on Georges face.
"You'll find out for sure when I post the cut, Eades. I've seen what I want to see. You can take your cheering section and go home. Good job."
Finally, he was one of the last ones there, and he began looking over the list. He got through the fifty unassigned players, and his name wasn't there.
Then it was the Freshman team, his name wasn't there, and his hope ratcheted up a notch. He almost skipped over the Sophomore team, but he looked through it anyway. Nope not there.
JV, he had to have made the JV team! He scanned the list, but didn't see his name there. He began to panic a bit and looked through it again. He wasn't there. What had he done wrong?
In despair he began looking over the varsity list. First string, nope. He knew the names there though. Second string, a little more sparse than first string, but likely some of the unassigned players would end up there. His name wasn't among them.
Second name on the third string list: George Eades
His jaw dropped. Sure, it was third string, but he was on the varsity football team. As a freshman.
"So, I take it you made the team?" Jubal had walked up to go to his P.E. class George stood there dumbfounded.
"I made varsity. Sure, I might not get to play much this year, but I made varsity."
"That's great, George. I'm so happy for you."
"I blame you for this."
"Me? Why me?"
"Remember when we started running at the beginning of the summer?"
"Yeah, you were so slow. You had no endurance, and I had to slow down to let you keep up." Jubal laughed at the memory.
"I wasn't going to be out done by a shrimp like you, especially if I wanted to be on the football team. I never told you, but I started running morning and evening three days a week, in addition to our run Saturday mornings."
"Really?"
George chuckled, "Yep. I needed to beat you, and so I looked into the best way to do that online. Sprinting, running with weights, you name it, I tried it. By the time I was done, I could smoke you easily, so I was able to let you run at the speed you wanted to."
"Yeah, I wondered about that. You improved so quickly. I just thought it was being a teenager and going through puberty."
They both laughed at this, and Jubal went into the locker room to change out for P.E.
George went to his economics class at the other end of the building.
Jubal and Katie sat next to each other under a blanket for warmth.
George had been moved to second string shortly after the begin of regular season play. One of their first string wide receivers had taken a brutal hit in the first game, and was down for the rest of the season if he ever wanted to play again. They'd moved the better of the two second string wide receivers to first, and George took the newly vacated spot.
He'd hadn't been put in, yet, though. Samuels was a machine, and Franklin was only slightly less.
He looked into the stands to where Jubal and his girlfriend sat huddled. If they thought the stands were cold. . .He was wearing two sweat shirts under his jersey which made him look bulkier than normal. Most of the other guys on the bench did too.
"Tell Helper than we're doing 46a this time. Let's add a little variety into the mix."
The 46s as the team called them were razzle-dazzle plays. Gimmicks. They were designed not so much to be effective, as to confuse the other team, and have them waiting for the other shoe to drop.
This one called for a lot of backfield movement, and a face to the left by both wide receivers. Then, just before the ball was passed, the left WR would pass behind the defenders and get into position of a pass that wasn't even thrown to him.
Yeah, it's one of those plays that only ever really work in the movies, but when you pull it off through sheer luck, the other team doesn't know what hit them.
Since it was first down, Coach Hansen thought it would be a good idea. Worst that could happen would be a fumble inside the defending twenty.
Best that could happen?
The audible was called, and the ball was into the quarterbacks hands. Samuels was off like a rocket and down field waiting for Franklin to catch up. The defenders converged on the two of them. Franklin shot forward as if going for the end zone, and Samuels stuck with him a couple of steps before doubling back and then running across to the other side of the field just as the ball left the quarter backs fingers.
Time seemed to slow down for George as he watched the ball seem to hover there in mid air for a moment or two before dropping right into Samuels hands.
No one saw the defender that crashed into Samuels like a freight train until it was too late. The sound of bone breaking could be heard across the field.
Coach Hensen was onto the field and racing after the ref.
The EMTs were close behind.
They strapped Samuels down to the back board and carried him off the field.
Coach Hensen ran over to where George was sitting.
"Kowalski is out sick. Eades, you're in for Samuels."
George wasn't responsible for a single touchdown the rest of the season, but he was responsible for three hundred yards worth of their passing statistic.
Mama Joey looked at him, "I know you're only eight, Jubal, but this is part of the experience of high school, and like it or not, you are part of high school. I don't expect you to date, and I'm kind of glad you aren't But you really should at least go stag to these dances. See what they're about. Be a part of high school, not just attending."
"Yeah, Jubal. Officially George and I are just attending the dance in the same group. With you there we aren't lying to George's parents."
George blushed a bit at this.
"I want you there, Jubal, and Amanda Phillips is going stag, that I know for sure."
"Who's Amanda Phillips?"
"The cutest little freshman you ever saw."
"She is adorable," Katie said, "and also the second youngest person in our class. She turns twelve in march."
"And Jubal has the sweetest little crush on her that of course EVERYONE knows about."
"Shut up, Guys!" Jubal said as he blushed scarlet.
"Well, if Amanda is going to be there."
Mama Joey didn't figure it would really go anywhere, but at least it would be an experience for Jubal, and he needed all of those he could get. He was already more social than most of the truly genius children she'd met through the course of her work, and she intended to make sure he stayed ahead of the curve.
"So, are we getting you a suit, or a dress, Jubal."
George was a bit surprised that it took Jubal a moment or two to answer. "I don't think I'm ready to try going out as Marie again just yet, so I'll go in a suit."
Katie smiled at him, "you mean Marie might come back and visit us at school again?" She was almost bouncing with anticipation.
Jubal blushed, and nodded slightly. "Probably not this school year, but maybe."
"Well, we have a couple of weeks before the dance, so we might as well get you fitted for a suit. I can at least give you that much."
Jubal threw his arms around the big black woman, "thank you, Mama Joey."
"Any time, baby."
Someone passing him in the hall would 'accidentally' bump his arm and send his books flying. Soap was put into his jock strap for gym. His locker was pried open.
He was so focused that he almost missed the foot thrown in front to trip him.
"That's enough! Leave him alone, guys. He deserves this about as much as I did at the beginning of the year."
Jubal's light piping voice cut through the hubbub of the students in the hall, and it quieted down a bit.
"You okay, Lance?"
Lance nodded mutely, seeing Jubal for the first time. Somehow he never noticed how refined the child's features were. He hadn't been lying earlier when he said that he saw it all, either.
In other words it wasn't hard for Lance to see Jubal as a girl, and he felt something in him click.
Jubal looked at the much older crowd who were staring at him.
"Guys, what you're doing is worse than what he did to me, because none of you will stand up for him. Stop it, please? He did something stupid at the beginning of the year. I forgave him even before George carted him off, don't you think you all can forgive him this long after?"
There were a few sheepish looks, and some ugly glances in Lance's direction, but all in all everything seemed to be moving on.
"Hey, Lance, I think it might be a good idea for you to eat lunch with us for the next couple of days."
Lance nodded mutely, still unsure where all of this was going.
It sort of started being called King George's round table. Even Jubal wouldn't accept that honor.
At one end, an opening was left to allow easy access to the seating in the center of the circle. George's seat was opposite the opening.
Jubal, Katie, and George were already seated when Lance sheepishly walked up to them.
"Lance, you made it!" Katie said as she jumped up and gave him a hug. "Here, sit next to me."
He smiled and sat. Slowly they dragged him into their conversation, and he promised to come sit with them again tomorrow.
"I think it's Katie who looks the best, Mama Joey."
"Yeah, I have to agree on that one," George added.
Katie blushed, and Mama Joey made sure to get a picture of her at that moment. She had a really pretty blush.
A car horn sounded from outside, and George glanced at his watch, "I think my dad is getting antsy."
"Have fun, kids."
Mama Joey took another couple of photographs as they walked out the door.
She headed up to the room they'd converted to a study to upload them to her computer.
Then they were off into the gym with the rest of the students.
Jubal went to sit down, but Amanda cane up to him. "Jubal, hi!"
"Hi, Amanda. So, you came after all."
"Yes, I came."
She stood there, a little nervously, glancing toward the dance floor.
George walked up behind Jubal and whispered in his ear. "She wants you to ask her to dance."
"Oh. . .OH! Amanda, would you like to dance?"
"I'd love to!"
And Jubal was off and dancing. Sure, he lacked a little coordination, but no more than any of the other young boys.
As soon as he escorted Amanda to a seat, another girl came up and started talking to her. He recognized the signals this time, and took her out to the dance floor. After that was another girl, and then Katie, and then Amanda again, and then another new girl.
Every dace he seemed to be out with someone new. Even a few of the senior girls danced with him. It was just a good time for everyone until the DJ announced the last dance of the evening.
Lance walked up to him. "Hey, Jubal."
"Hey, Lance."
"So, um, would you like to dance?"
Jubal was floored, and didn't know what to say. His heart fluttered, and he flushed.
Katie came to his rescue this time, whispering, "It's considered polite to say yes."
Jubal blushed even harder and all he could do was nod.
Lance led him out onto the dance floor, and the entire song passed by in a flash.
This time it was Lance who led him back to the side where Katie was massaging her tired feet. She'd worn heels.
"Thank you for dancing with me."
"You're welcome, Lance."
Amanda walked up just as Lance was walking out of earshot.
"I think someone has a crush on Lance."
Jubal blushed furiously, and everyone around laughed.
Jubal was confused by what he was feeling, and needed some time with his therapist to work through it.
Also, a thank you goes out to Eric for corrections in American football terminology and rules of play.
Food and drink he had in abundance, but that wasn't the sustenance he craved. Heredity gave him everything he craved.
People called him variously the voyeur or the spider or that creepy security guy in the basement.
He preferred the anglicized version of the first one: The watcher.
Sometimes he felt that a person's physical privacy was sacrosanct, so while he didn't always watch, he did always listen.
He'd had one of his hands, the pickpockets and other urchins he employed, place a bug in Jubal's bag weeks ago. The boy carried it everywhere, so that made listening easy.
That hadn't been possible with last night's dance, so he'd gone for full color cameras.
Now, to determine what he would tell Jim Hastings about Jubal, and also how he would break the news of his son's indiscretions with a certain well known male prostitute in San Fransisco.
If he made a big deal of it, then the watcher could simply imply that he know of the older Hastings own indiscretions.
"Hey, Jubal? Um, would you like to go to the Valentine's Day Dance with me?"
"Look, Thomas, I'm not even sure I'm going. If you're looking for a boy to take out, Louis asked me yesterday."
"Louis? You mean Louis Germain?"
Jubal smiled as the understanding dawned in the other boys eyes, "Yes,"
"Okay. . ." Thomas wandered off down the hall, not even paying attention to where he was going.
Katie began giggling next to him. "So, that's what? Four this week?"
Jubal blushed at this. Why had he become the focus of all of this. . .this. . .craziness.
"I think it's adorable how you've been playing matchmaker, though."
"I just wish that they would all stop asking me!"
"You're just the most public member of the community."
"What are you two talking about?"
"Another freshman asked him out to the dance."
"So sorry, man."
"It wouldn't be so back, George, if I could tell them I was going to the dance with someone else."
"Amanda turn you down?"
"Not exactly. . ."
Katie spoke up for him when he didn't continue, "She was asked the day before by Brian."
"Ouch, man, that sucks."
"It's fine, but there aren't realy any other girls I'd like to take. They all so. . .old."
George and Katie broke up into laughter about this, and Jubal joined after a moment or two. They split up and headed to their next classes.
"Yeah, there have been another five ask me since then."
"So, how is that making you feel?"
"I don't know. Embarrassed. It just doesn't feel right to me?"
"How about if you were at school as Marie? Would you have accepted their invitation then?"
Jubal sat there for a moment thinking about it, and smiled. "Maybe. Hard to say. I haven't been worrying about it in that way."
"Well, next time someone asks you, then mention you would be coming as Marie if you went with them. Many of the students remember you as Marie, right?"
Jubal looked a little unsure, but nodded.
"You don't have to do this, Jubal. You really are a little young yet to be worried about pairing up with anyone else. You just feel unprepared for any of this, don't you?"
Jubal nodded and then opened his mouth as if to speak. He sat there for a moment with his mouth open, and then got up and started walking around the room.
"I don't really like any of them. It's not that I think of them as boys or girls or anything. I don't think about them at all. I just want to be left alone. I want to spend time with my friends, and that's it."
"What if Lance asked you?"
Jubal stopped dead in his tracks. Having talked a lot about it with Dr. Rath, he was pretty sure that it wasn't love or infatuation or whatever. He liked Lance. He liked George and Katie too.
What Dr. Rath asked wasn't the same as if he'd asked if George had asked him though. There'd been a little flutter of his heart. It was almost as if he was a bit excited by the prospect.
Jubal blushed.
"How have your feelings for Lance changed, Jubal?"
"He's nice to me. I like that he is conscientious of me. I like the attention. I like it the way he talks to me, too."
"Jubal, I want you to remember something. Intellectually you are very advanced. Emotionally you are still eight."
"I know, Dr. Rath."
"Yes, I realize you know, but do you feel it? Let me explain this another way.
"You see the people around you pairing up. You see them getting into relationships, or in other words coupling."
Jubal nodded.
"Now, your feelings for Lance and Amanda. Are they a matter of you feeling something for them, or feeling like you're missing out on something everyone else has?"
A light dawned in that moment for Jubal. "Oh. That makes so much sense. I look at Katie and George and I want a relationship like that, because it seems to make them so happy. I know that they are older than me, but I don't feel inferior to them. I feel the equal of everyone in that school."
"So, what will you do if Lance asks you to the dance."
"Tell him I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone, but if he wants to go as a group of friends, that George and Katie and I are all going to be at the dance."
"That sounds very mature of you."
Jubal touched his head, "Up here I am very mature. It's the whole relationship thing I don't get."
"Hey, Lance. So, are you going to the Valentine's Dance with the three of us? George's parents still don't want him to date."
If anything it made Lance more nervous. "Um, Jubal, um, I was wondering if you'd go with me. . .like alone, with me."
"I'm so sorry, Lance. I'm only eight. I'm not ready for that sort of thing, and I still have no idea if I even like boys or girls, both or neither. I like you, Lance, but as a friend, okay?"
"You asked Amanda."
"Because I wanted someone else in our group. It is kind of lopsided. Two boys and two girls."
A gleam came to Lance's eye. "Well, if I come, then you have to come as Marie."
Jubal stopped dead and couldn't think of anything to say. He'd just been roped in by his little white lie to protect Lance's feelings.
"That sounds like a great idea, Marie," Katie exclaimed.
Jubal saw the smile on Katie's face, and George nodding right along with him.
"Fine, I'll go to the dance as Marie."
Katie squealed and dragged Jubal along behind her. She knew that the Home Ec teacher had the same lunch as they did, and this was a great time to get Jubal down there.
"Katie, nice to see you. Is this Jubal?"
"Yes, and he needs a dress for the Valentine's Dance."
Miss Emmett laughed at Katie's enthusiasm, but she didn't want to embarrass anyone. "So, Jubal, Katie wants a more teenage dress made for you. Is that something you'd like?"
"You don't need to talk down to me. I may be eight, but I'm not stupid."
"Oh ho, I see that rumors of your precociousness aren't exaggerated."
Jubal smiled at her attempt at humor. "So, basically what you want to do is make a dress for me that will be closer in style to the other girls, and not those my age."
"Well, Katie would be the one making the dress."
Jubal looked a little afraid at this suggestion, but Katie jumped in here, "It won't be my first dress, in fact, I made the outfit I'm wearing today."
"I'm suitably impressed. So, you really want me to go to Valentine's as Marie?"
"Please?"
"I'm not old enough for puppy-dog eyes to have any effect on me, Katie, and I'm still not sure if I'm the right gender either."
Katie giggled at this, and they got to taking measurements.
"I won't give you near that much. Just enough to make you look a little tiny bit more mature."
"But I WANT everyone to know I'm eight."
"Everyone does know. I just don't want you to look it."
With a sigh Jubal gave in and allowed her to put the lightest dusting of makeup on.
Marie was looking out from the mirror at him when it was done. A couple of tears came to Marie's eyes, and she realized she enjoyed how she looked like this.
No, she wasn't ready to tell anyone else, and not sure if it was really the right decision for her yet, but she felt right for the first time since her grandparents had passed.
She turned to Katie and gave her a hug. "Thank you for the makeup."
"You're welcome, Marie. Let's go show the boys how we look."
She smiled and waved at them, and a couple waved back. She'd insisted on flats, especially since they really didn't make any good looking heels in her size.
She was thankful for that, because she was asked to dance by about half the people there, and asked a good portion of the other half to dance as well.
It was a wonderful feeling to be such the center of the attention. Again, Lance asked her to dance the last slow dance of the evening.
She was just enjoying herself, when Lance began to pull her toward him.
She pulled back and walked to the chairs where Katie was saving her a place.
"Marie, wait."
"Jubal, Lance. I'm Jubal. I don't think of anyone that way, least of all you. You were a friend, but if that's all you're looking for I don't think I'll feel comfortable being that anymore."
"But. . ."
Katie stood between Jubal and Lance.
"Look, Lance. She, he, is not ready. She is way too young. If you really like her, then you'll have to give her years before she'd be anything resembling ready to date, and probably years more for anything else."
"But, I really like her."
Jubal was getting angry, "Lance, just leave, ok? You're only doing this because you saw me naked and are confusing lust with love. I don't want you to bother me again, please?"
"Jubal, please, let me try again. . ."
"Katie, I think I'm going to walk home. Tell George for me?"
Jubal was pissed off to say the least. He'd started the evening feeling so right about everything, and ended it feeling so wrong. Why did that stupid Lance have to ruin everything?
He walked home swiftly and ran up to his room before Mama Joey could stop him.
He flung himself on the yellow bedspread and began to cry.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"How come I'm so confused over who I am? I can see myself looking pretty, and I'm so sure that's me. And then Lance tries to kiss me and I'm sure it's not. It felt so wrong when he did that."
"Oh Jubal, honey. It might be that girl or boy yourself, you might just want to be with women. It also might be that you simply aren't looking for either."
"You've been talking to Dr. Rath again, huh?"
"All the time, baby. All the time."
Jubal lay on the bed, held by Mama Joey. He still didn't know where his life was going, but he knew that Lance wouldn't be a part of it.
He hadn't seen Lance since Valentine's
He'd already run this morning. He was considering going out running again when a boy on a motorcycle drove up. He had bleached blond hair and a number of ear piercings. He had a ring in his right eyebrow and a stud through his lower lip with a spike on it.
Jubal was even more curios about him when he walked up to the door.
"Hi, kid. I'm looking for Jubal. Is he around?"
Something seemed off about this guy, but Jubal didn't quite know what it is.
"Whatcho want him for?" One of the kids in the neighborhood thought that was the funniest thing to ask in the world. Jubal figured it would make him seem his age.
"I wanted to meet the person my dad keeps yammering on about. Trying to see if he's all that. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about do you, squirt."
Jubal just nodded at the guy, thinking more and more he might be insane. After all, who puts that much metal in their head willingly.
"Can I tell him you were here?"
The blond looked a little strangely at Jubal for a moment and then shook his head.
"Nah, I'll probably just try to come back another time."
Jubal decided right there he would not be home when that happened. Now to figure out something to do this summer that would keep him away from home.
"Yes, Jubal. And with the speed you're reading, it seems that this gets you new books faster."
In the two weeks since he'd started, he'd finished a full rack of the paperback books. Now to move on to the next rack.
"Reading at the library and running."
"What's wrong?"
"I've been avoiding this strange man. He came over to my house at the beginning of summer and said he was planning on coming back. Mama Joey said that he came back a couple of times."
"So, I've been meaning to ask. . ."
"It's not about Marie is it?"
"Yeah. Mostly I wanted to ask if you were angry at me for the dance. You'd never talk about it, and I was so happy to see you in that beautiful dress, and I only hoped that you didn't hate me, and. . ." Katie began to cry, and Jubal wrapped her in a hug.
"Katie, I don't hate you for the dress. It was the most beautiful dress I've ever worn, and I would feel honored to wear any dress of yours."
"But, you tore it!"
"I was mad, and I felt betrayed, and I wanted never to see Marie again. I was completely Marie at that dance, and because of it I betrayed myself again. Someone wanted to take advantage of me. It happens every time I become Marie. Someone takes advantage of me."
"Are you saying you have more control of your life as Jubal? I mean, Lance originally latched onto you as Jubal."
"Well. . ."
"Jubal, have you talked to your therapist about this?"
Jubal silently shoot his head.
"Jubal, honey, this isn't your fault. You are still a little kid. You have a lot less control than the rest of us over your life, and even we have no control right now. Why do you think that teens rebel? We have no control otherwise."
Jubal gave a weak little smile, and Katie hugged him back.
"Jubal, you are the smartest kid I know. But sometimes you're really dumb, you know that?"
Jubal began to cry tears of joy, "You say the sweetest things some times, Katie."
"Only sometimes?"
Having watched enough games to begin to really have a basic understanding of the game, he figured a twenty-one point lead and five minutes left on the clock meant that Griffin would be taking the state championship this year.
He went over all of the combinations he could, and nothing he added could get two turnovers and three touchdowns in five minutes.
Jubal hadn't yet heard of an onsides kick.
In American football, the team kicking the ball is not allowed to regain control of the ball unless certain restrictions are adhered to: The ball either travels ten yards or comes into contact with a member of the opposing team and the receiving team is not directly interfered with in the regaining of the ball.
In a moment of distraction, a pass was thrown by the Sampson High quarterback for a seventy five yard gain, and a touchdown. Instead of kicking the ball through the uprights for a single extra point, it was run in for two.
Difference of thirteen points.
The two plays cost only a minute and a half between them.
Three and a half minutes remain.
The kicker lines up and sends the ball low and straight into the helmet of the Griffin Academy special teams players. It arced back toward the Sampson High line, and was recovered for another fifteen second loss.
Jubal perked up in the stands. Sure, the other team had done this, but it was still kind of awesome.
Assuming the other team meant to do another long bomb, the Griffin team backed up to try for an interception, or at least a dead ball. It would have been stupid for the Sampson High team to run the ball, because the clock would keep running, and not stop as soon as the ball came to rest.
They needed all the time they could get, but they had some razzle-dazzle plays of their own.
This one they nicknamed the freight train.
It was a running play and it basically involved all of the linemen running in front of the quarterback clearing the way. It never would have worked if the Griffin team had not assumed the passing play.
They were ready for the two point conversion this time and that brought the game to a seven point difference.
A touchdown and extra point to tie and go into sudden death field goal kicking.
A touchdown and a two point conversion would mean that Sampson won the game outright.
That is if they could pull another onsides kick. They only had forty-five seconds left, but as seen already this can be an eternity in American football.
"Time!" Coach Hensen called to the ref.
"Samuels, Eades, I want the two of you out there with special teams. Get that ball. We can worry about what we're doing next after that, we have another time out to deal with that. Get me that ball boys!"
When George trotted out onto the field Jubal cheered. He had a little bit of hero worship by this point. Even at nine years old he was still much too small for any of the organized sports, but that didn't mean he couldn't live vicariously through his friend.
The cheerleaders were leading the crowd in cheers trying to throw off the kicking team.
Samuels was five yards back from the line in the middle. George was at the left end.
As soon as the kicker's foot touched the ball George was off. He put out his hands and the ball dropped right into them.
It had bounced off Samuel's head and George was right where it had come back down. He laid on the speed then and took off. The stunned special teams got a move on, especially Samuels, and started screening for George as he ran down the field.
The crowd was on their feet and the announcer was yelling into his mic, "He's at the forty. . .the thirty. . .the twenty. . .the ten. . .he seems to be down on the one yard line. . ."
At the last second, George had stopped and grounded the ball within inches of another touchdown. The play clock and the game clock were the same as they set up for the next play.
The ball was snapped and the quarterback just waited for time to run out as even the Sampson High team knew that they had lost.
"The game is over. Time is up. Griffin wins! Griffin has won the state championship!"
"You know that as soon as high school is over, you go back to being an unknown freshman in college."
"You really know how to dampen a man's spirits, don't ya, Jubal."
"Hey, someone has to be realistic."
They laughed about it, and Katie hugged the two of them. She still wore her cheerleading outfit as they still had basketball to cheer for, even if no one she knew was playing.
"Jubal, you realize that you're a king in this school just like I am, don't you?"
"Me, I'm just the nine year old sophomore."
"And the nicest guy in the school. And the best matchmaker as well."
"Hey, the first ones were luck of the draw."
"Sure, they might have been, but you haven't failed to pair people up from your pool since then."
"I just wish everyone would stop coming to me for romantic help. I don't even date!"
"I think that's part of the reason that people come to you. You don't have a pony in the race."
Jubal snorted at this, but grinned at his friends.
"So, who are we going to talk to today?"
"Amanda actually. I realized that it's really time I helped her. She asked me almost a month ago, and really didn't have the heart to tell her."
"What? You're giving up on her?"
"She's still way too old for me. And I know someone who would treat her right."
Katie realized what he was going to say, even though George was clueless.
"Are you sure?"
"It's not like I'm setting them up as the perfect couple. I've never been trying to do that. I set people up who have similar interests, and besides me, they both actually have a lot in common."
They arrived at Amanda's locker just as she was closing it. "Amanda! Glad I caught you."
"Hey, Jubal. You finally give in and admit you want to date me?"
"Sorry, you know I don't date, but I do know someone that fits you perfectly. I've already told him my choice, and he thought I was crazy. Give him a chance, Okay?"
Like usual, he'd plotted the distance and time properly, and stepped out of the way just as Lance came around the corner. He looked a little surprised to see Jubal there, but rushed forward before he lost his nerve.
"Amanda, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Winter Dance with me?"
"I'd love to, Lance!"
Jubal stepped back a little sad, but with a big smile on his face.
"You want to talk about it, Jubal?"
"It's okay. I'm simply in the wrong body. Apparently I should have been born four years before I actually was."
"Yeah, but then you wouldn't be the wonderfully smart younger brother of the entire school."
They laughed at this, and Jubal only looked back once to see Amanda and Lance talking.
He controlled his breathing, and made it to the bathroom before he began to cry.
George stood at the entrance to the boys bathroom while Katie went in to comfort him.
"Jubal, what's wrong honey?"
"It's not fair, Katie. I don't get a relationship of my own."
"I thought you didn't want a relationship."
"Of course I want a relationship, I just know I'm not ready for one. I'm like my own parent."
Katie giggled at this and held him until he was cried out.
"Jubal, you have to realize that you've had a much better run of it than most kids in your position, right?"
"I know, but it doesn't stop me missing what I can't have."
"I know. Hey, maybe next year we can set you up with a freshman?"
"Are you kidding? Seriously? The freshmen THIS year were immature enough. Can you imagine what they'll be like next year when we're juniors?"
They both laughed at this, even though Jubal began to wonder. He'd be turning ten. Maybe he'd almost be ready for something then. He certainly FELT more mature than he had when he started this whole thing.
"Jubal, there isn't a specific age at which you are ready for a relationship. I've had thirty-year-olds in here who still aren't emotionally ready."
"What do you think about me, doctor?"
"Do you feel like you are ready?"
"I still don't know. I don't know if I even want to be, yet. I do want to be with someone thought. I want to have a relationship like George and Katie do."
"Ah, but we haven't even answered whether or not you want to be Katie or George."
Jubal blushed, but nodded.
"May I make a suggestion, Jubal. I know I usually try and let you come to your own decisions, which is very hard for me with a child of your age, but I feel that this is important."
"Ok, Dr. Rath. What do you suggest?"
"Wait on a relationship until you know whether being Jubal or Marie is who you are. Don't let other's good intentions make up your mind for you. That won't define who you are supposed to be with, and leave that until you decide who you are.
"I say this for you as much as for whomever you decide to be with. They deserve the best you can give them, which means that you are whole in mind, body, and spirit."
"Don't you think that's kind if heavy for a nine year old, doc?"
"Sure, but then I'm talking to you and not just any nine year old."
They both smiled, and as usual Jubal shook Dr. Rath's hand as he left. the room.
Jubal was originally created for a specific universe on this site, but as there was so much to tell before the story that really fit with the universe I decided to start by posting without the universe tag.
This has the side effect of getting people interested in Jubal as a person, and potentially will cause some upset with me as a writer.
Sure, I may be putting too much stock in my own analytical skills as far as the comments go, but it seems to be the case.
That being said, I return to my first comment.
Initially I will be going with the story I intended, in the universe of my choice.
Please, do not give up on me however. Should you prefer to see Jubal in the more "real life" world he seems to be in, I will later return and write this alternate version of his life.
I realize this statement here might cause some distress, and as I have said that was never my intent. I really love Jubal Marie as a character. There is story enough here to keep things going in either place that (s)he finds her(him)self in.
Also, a note about the leaning toward light sci-fi in the end of this chapter. This does play into the overall story I am writing, but will not prevent a more down to earth Jubal alternative.
How bout I just get to the story now?
Since Griffin assigned that to the Home Ec department, and since Jubal had started taking Home Ec this year, he sort of found himself roped in.
Like any normal high school, Jubal was not the only male in the course, but he was the only one who actually fulfilled his duties on the committee.
They put him at the door taking tickets in a cupid outfit.
"Hey Amanda, Lance!"
"They put you on Ticket duty, huh?"
"Yep, I figure it'd better than pretty much anything else I could be doing."
They laughed at this and went in.
"Thomas! Louis! You came, and still together I see."
"This is our one year anniversary, of course we came. Thank you so much for what you did, Jubal!" Thomas said.
"Yes, Thank you."
And on and on as couples he'd put together in the last year said their thanks to him. He was emotionally worn out, but oh so happy when Theresa came up to him.
"Okay, Jubes. That's it. We're closing the ticket booth down, so you can go get yourself something to drink and relax in the dance."
"In this?"
"Of course not, silly. We have your suit in back, or, um, if you like. . ."
"You have a dress for me as well, don't you Theresa?"
"Well, since you haven't gotten any bigger, we made you a dress with the measurements from last year. In that pale yellow fabric you seemed to like so much. . ."
"Theresa, I know you mean well, but this is hard enough for me to decide."
She cocked an eyebrow at him and he sighed.
"I have another three years before I decide permanently whether I want to be a boy or a girl. I'm still so confused about it. I love wearing dresses and being pretty, but. . .you don't need all my arguments I make to myself."
Theresa looked a little down, and turned to leave, "Okay, well, I'll go put the dress away then."
"Theresa, you misunderstand. All I'm saying is don't push me," Jubal giggled. "I have to see the dress before I decide."
A smile lit up Theresa's face. "Well, let me show it to you then."
It was a confection. Gauzy white material over translucent yellow and light pink material over a yellow sheath. The proportions were very adult, but the size was completely Jubal.
"How did you? . ." Jubal felt like crying. From his own failed attempts at sewing, he knew how difficult it was to use the materials he was before him. And they'd been used in abundance. It was the dress he'd wanted to make, but simply lacked the skill.
"Katie mostly. She's a wizard at this stuff. I think she even practices at home."
Jubal had made his decision as soon as he saw the dress they'd made for him. He went into the bathroom and changed out of the short toga and oversized diaper of the cupid outfit into the beautiful dress.
She couldn't get the dress up herself, so Marie called out to Theresa for help. With two buttons in the back in place, she looked at herself in the mirror, and was glad to see Marie looking back at her.
"These as well," Theresa said and handed her a pair of long lace gloves. They seemed to be fitted to her, and went to her elbows.
"How. . .?"
"Remember when Katie measured your arm last week?"
"I'd wondered what in the world she was doing."
"Well, your public awaits, my queen."
"Very well, liege lady. We proceed to meet our public."
Marie followed Theresa out of the bathroom and was about to go mingle with the rest of the students, when Miss Emmett came up and got in front of the microphone.
"Students, may I have your attention please? While it is not traditional to do so, we decided that we wanted a Valentine's Queen, or King, this year. As you know, but as the person who was chosen does not, each of you have case your vote for the person who you feels most exemplifies the feeling of the holiday.
"As someone who helps others to recognize what they simply never saw. As Griffin Academy's own resident matchmaker. Your Valentine's Queen for this year is Jubal Marie Franks."
A tiara was placed upon her head, and the microphone was lowered so she could easily speak into it.
"I feel like one of those freaky child beauty pageant winner right now."
"You don't look like it, Jubal!" Someone shouted from the crowd.
A number of girls from Home Ec yelled toward the voice, "It's Marie!" and there was general laughter at this.
"I'd first like to thank Katie for this divine dress, and the one I was stupid enough to ruin last year. I'd like to thank the rest of the activities committee for helping to make this wonderful dance possible. . ."
George yelled from off to the right side, "Just thank everyone all at once and come dance!"
"Fine, George, I'll cut it short. Thanks Everyone!"
People asked Marie to dance this time, and she ended up dancing with everyone. It was so much more pleasant than last year, and she even got an apology from Lance.
"Look, Jubal, or I mean Marie, I'm sorry about my behavior from last year. I realize now that I just needed someone I connected to. Thank you so much for introducing me to Amanda. Just, Thank you."
"You're insane, you know that Benjamin?"
"Watcher. In here I'm the watcher, and you should very well know that since you're the one who employs me."
"Heredity Inc employs you. So, what is this you're watching?"
"Oh, it's my own cut and edit from last night's Valentine's Dance. I simply can't get enough of it. I really don't know what it is about Jubal, but he attracts the eye."
"You better not be getting any ideas regarding my grandson!"
"Or your granddaughter. Look at that dress, I mean, seriously. It makes her look so grown up."
"What are those freaks doing to him!?"
"Relax. You know that she, or he, has not made a final decision as to his, or her, gender right?"
"I always just assumed. . ."
"Many people do, but from my daily take of audio and video, it's obvious to me that Jubal Marie is still highly conflicted. Jubal is the preferred address in masculine clothing, and Marie in feminine. We have a regular Janus on our hands here. A real honest to god Janus."
"What are you talking about, Watcher?"
"Janus or Jana, depending on his or her gender aspect, was the roman god/ess of duality, transition, beginnings and endings. s/he was often depicted as having a male and a female face."
"What does that have to do with Jubal?"
"Jubal is who we see, at any time we see him. He is in transition, changing. A beginning and an ending unto himself."
"I think you've been in the basement too long."
The watcher chuckled at this, "So, what do you want, Mr. Hastings? Why the long trek down to my lair?"
"How accurate is your information regarding my son?"
"Would you like a transcript, audio, or video recording? Possibly a sworn statement by the prostitute in question?"
Anger suffused Mr. Hastings features. "No, that won't be necessary. Why did you present this to me?"
"Because you specifically asked me to report on your son's actions. That is what I did. I do not keep the truth from you, Mr. Hastings. I enjoy my job too much to want to jeopardize it."
"Fine, I'll deal with my son. Thank you for being honest."
"Anytime, Mr. Hastings. If I may?"
"What is it?"
"Why all this interest in the child?"
"Why, because if things keep going the way they have been, I might simply have to make him, or her, my heir. My son doesn't have the moral fiber to do it. He can't subsume his physical needs in something more productive."
"Very good, Mr. Hastings."
As soon as the man left, watcher had a good chuckle to himself. "Isn't that a bit of the pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Hastings. After all, I doubt the things you do with your mistress could be considered subsuming your needs in something more productive."
Watcher shuddered at some of the things he'd seen, "I mean, those acts are vile even by my standards."
"Why, Daddy. I didn't know you cared." Aaron had another piercing on his face, adding a second ring to his right eyebrow.
"Sit down, Aaron," he said quietly, and when Aaron didn't react, said, "Now!"
"I truly wish that your sister Marie had survived that accident over nine years ago. If she had I wouldn't be having this conversation now."
"I wish she had survived as well so I could get back to my life."
"Your life? You mean putting yourself at risk with faggots like yourself?"
The color drained from Aaron's face.
"Yes, I know about your little arrangement in San Francisco. Thought it would be far enough away for me not to notice?"
"Look, find yourself a little boyfriend for the side, but you damned well better stop tarnishing this company image or I will resolve this situation in a more severe manner. You will get married when I demand it, and you will have an heir you can prepare for this company. And no, you will not pay some other schmuck to impregnate your wife."
"Dad, you can't do this!"
"Watch ME! Your only other choice is to be disinherited."
"Well, there's the third option. You keep embarrassing me in public and I add a morality clause to your inheritance."
A file smoldered in the depths of Aaron's eyes as he looked at his father.
"Now, there's the little matter of college."
Aaron snorted at this.
"What college will take me after the mess my grades are in?"
"Any, actually. I've used some of my influence and had your transcript changed. You have one more year of high school to prove to me you can keep your grades there, and we get you into the school of my choice."
"That's not possible, I can't get a 4.0 or anything even close to it."
"It's that or the party stops abruptly."
"Yes, sir. Anything else you need, sir?" The fire flared, but Aaron enjoyed the perks of wealth and power too much to try to call the old man's bluff.
"She was alright. It wasn't the same as talking to you, though."
"It was unavoidable. Apparently I'm the only one amongst all my siblings who could take care of my mother in her last days."
"Well, it seems as we both have a little something in common now."
Dr. Rath smiled a sad little smile, and then sat a little straighter, "so, I hear you've been having fun at school."
Jubal smiled at this. "They made me the Queen of the Valentine's Dance for my matchmaking activities. And I've been modeling some of Katie's work at school."
"So, you've been going as Marie sometimes?"
"Some, yes. Not as much as Jubal, but everyone seems okay with it. It's like they think of me as two different people with the same body."
"How so?"
"Well, I get doors opened for me as Marie, which never happens for Jubal. The guys are more likely to joke around with me as Jubal, and I have a lot more girls hanging with me as Marie."
"Well, could it be that they aren't so much treating you as a different person as just a different gender?"
"Um, I don't know?"
Dr. Rath chuckled. "You are very intelligent, Jubal, but there are so many areas in which you haven't experienced enough to understand. Boys and girls are more different than you're giving them credit for.
"It's more than just the clothes or the expected role in a family. It's more than plumbing. Our society dictates that boys and girls act in a specific manner, and because of that we clump together.
"Girls are supposed to be more social, boys more competitive, girls more caring, boys more strong. That doesn't dictate how things are, just how they're supposed to be."
"Oh, I see, opening a door for a girl shows how you are able to protect her. Shows you are also willing to subjugate your strength to her."
Dr. Rath laughed at that, "You know, I've never thought of it that way, but you very well might be right."
"What?"
"We don't very often think about why we do certain things in certain orders. Most people just accept the gender roles as 'the way it is' without ever once trying to analyze them."
"So, I just look at things differently?"
"Or more especially with a fresh pair of eyes. You are so keen to learn everything you can, that you ask the questions everyone else just assumes they know the answers to. So, any plans for the summer?"
"Just running and hanging with my friends. Although it's getting a little more uncomfortable there. With George being sixteen now, and his parents being okay with him openly dating, it seems I have less time with him and Katie."
"Well, that's normal. Let them have their time together alone, and it will be worth it the times you spend as a group."
"Or won't I just be a third wheel?"
"Possibly, but that depends on the sort of people that George and Katie are."
"So, what else has been going on with you?"
"About the same as being a sophomore or a freshman, Katie."
"You're no fun, Jubal. Has anyone ever told you that before?"
"Only you, Katie. So, where's your limpet?"
"George has a football meeting, they're voting on something or other. He said he'd meet us in the lunchroom."
So, what are you up to?"
"I'm not up to anything."
"Oh, yes you are. I know that smirk."
"Okay, fine. Yes, I'm planning something. A lot of us are, actually."
"That sounds ominous."
"Not so ominous. You know how I haven't seen much of you since the beginning of the year, well would you like to change that?"
"I don't play these games well, Katie. What are you planning?"
"Ok, well, since you left Home Ec for French a lot of the girls are missing you, and talk of how to get you back in there for a little bit sprouted into a fashion show for the entire school."
"Um. . ."
"We want you, and some of the other girls we know, to try model dresses for us in the auditorium in an actual fashion show."
"I'll think about it, Katie. This has to be my decisions, and right now, if I said yes, I would only be doing it to make you happy."
She smiled, "Ok, Jubal. I'll let you think about it. Let's go to lunch."
They entered the cafeteria to a strange sight. The football players who normally re-arranged the room were milling about in confusion. The tables had all be locked down to the floor to prevent their being moved around. Strangely enough they were formed into large concentric circles just as the football players would have wanted it to be.
Their 'table' now took up the entire room.
Jubal tugged on Katie's hand and started heading over to their normal spot at the head of the circle, opposite the opening to get into the center.
Katie sat demurely while Jubal climbed up on top of the table.
"Hey, it's just the way you always wanted it, so stop milling about and join us!"
There was some chuckling from the football players and other students who were in the room. People retrieved their trays and began to sit in places they were comfortable in.
Katie gently pulled Jubal down off the table into a seat, "Take your own advice, your majesty."
They both giggled at this, until Jubal realized what he was doing and began to blush.
"Jubal, don't be embarrassed. Most of us have realized that you are more girl than boy by now."
"Just because that's the way I act doesn't mean that's the way I'm comfortable. I really can't decide one way or another, and I only have a little over two years left to decide."
Katie got a thoughtful expression on her face, "Maybe that's because you're asking the wrong question."
"Huh?"
"Which name do you prefer? Jubal or Marie?"
"I prefer Jubal. It just has always fit me more, I think. That doesn't make me a boy."
"No more than being called Marie makes you a girl."
"So, where are you going with this?"
"Ok, if you had to make a choice, would you prefer to be called pretty or handsome for the rest of your life?"
Jubal blushed a pretty shade of pink. "Pretty. I like being pretty."
"And how would you feel if you could never wear another dress?"
"Sad, because they make me look the prettiest."
"Now, do you like to be protected, or to protect?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Ok, so maybe that was a bad question. Opening doors or having them opened."
"Well, it makes me feel so special to have a door opened for me. I just open doors to try and let other girls. . .wow. I never realized that before."
Katie was smiling brightly. She'd heard what Jubal had said.
"So, you think it would be okay with everyone still calling me Jubal if I was. . .um. . .more girly?"
"Sweetie, most of us have come to expect strangeness from you. You'll have to change P.E. classes though if you want to make it official."
"Um, but won't that just be me going from one coach's office to the other's?"
"So, you'll just be with the rest of the girls, as you put it."
"Well, I guess I'd like that."
Jubal pursed her lips and thought for a moment, and then got a worried expression on her face. "You're sure people will be fine calling me Jubal and addressing me as a girl?"
"Jubal, I think Marie is a prettier name, but I'll call you whatever you like."
Jubal's giggle was infectious and Katie couldn't help but joining in with her.
"So, what are you to conspiring about?"
Katie looked from Jubal to George and back. At last she turned to George, "I'll let her tell you."
"Her? She's going to be Marie from now on?"
"No, I'm going to be Jubal but with a female gender."
"Okay, I have no idea how that works, but I'll support you in that. Oh, yeah, I have some news of my own."
"What?" Katie and Jubal said in unison.
"You're looking at the new captain of the varsity football team."
"Well, I hope you don't expect me to go out for head cheerleader this year, since I don't plan on trying out for the squad."
"Why not?" Jubal asked, "you seemed to like it."
"Yes, but I wanted to devote more time to my fashions. I'm having more fun being a seamstress and clothing designer."
"Well, it looks like changes abound today. Who decided to round up the whole cafeteria?"
"The administration. Apparently they gave in to the inevitable, since we were well over halfway there anyway."
Jubal looked out at the room, and realized that the arrangement allowed for people to be part of one large group, as opposed to several smaller ones. The distance between the tables was smaller than it had been with the other arrangement, and so people were all much closer together as well.
Jocks and cheerleaders were interspersed with nerds and outcasts. And they were talking to each other.
"Look what you've been able to accomplish, King George. Everyone is a single clique." Jubal said with a big smile.
"Me, oh no. I take no credit for this. This is all you. And if you remember it was actually your idea originally to have the tables in a hollow circle."
He stood on his chair and the entire cafeteria turned toward him.
"All hail Queen Jubal, purveyor of happiness and all around great girl!"
"Queen Jubal!" came the reply from the throats of her fellow students.
Speech!" called one joker from off to the side. and the rest of the cafeteria picked it up.
Speech, Speech, Speech, Speech."
Jubal giggled and stepped up onto the table. She made quieting gestures and the noise lowered to a low roar.
"I want to thank you all for elevating me to this position, and will only make onerous requests on the third Thursday of the month."
There was general laughter at this.
"Thank you for your friendship."
"We love you, Queen Jubal!" Jubal was pretty sure that Lance had been the one to shout that out.
"Thank you, Lance. I'm still not going out with you."
"Yeah, good that, cause I'd have to kill you," Amanda said from the same general vicinity.
Jubal sat back down in her chair and everyone began talking amongst themselves.
"You know I'm not giving up tee shirts or pants, right?" Jubal said to Katie as soon as she was planted.
"I would never imagine it. I think it will just make it easier for everyone else if they know that you are a girl permanently now."
Something occurred to her and Jubal lost her smile, "how do I tell Dr. Rath?"
"I'm sure he'll be happy for you."
"I hope so," she said, but she wasn't so sure.
"Yes, Jubal?"
"Could I get a pixie haircut?"
"Are you sure, Jubal? Or Marie?"
"Just Jubal, but I think I do feel more comfortable when people think of me as a girl. I'm not ready for pierced ears or anything, but I figure a new haircut. . ."
"That sounds like a good idea, as long as it's your choice."
"Yes, Mama Joey. It's my choice. I'm tired of being somewhere between. Plus, I really have been presenting as a boy more than anything. If I go all girl for the next couple of years, then I can more easily know if that is the choice I want to make."
"Ok, sounds like a plan, Jubal. But, if you're going girl, then why keep the name Jubal?"
"Because I like it better than Marie."
Mama Joey laughed at this and shook her head, "Leave it to you to make the practical descision."
"Well, this is definitely a new look for you, Marie."
"No, it's Jubal. I decided that I can keep the name Jubal even if I'm a girl. My grandparents gave it to me after all, so it's my choice what I'm called."
"So, I see you've decided then?"
"Yeah, it was something in the way I was thinking, even when I was in boy mode. I thought of the boys as them and the girls as us, well that's simplified but that's the general idea."
"You never mentioned this in our sessions. This isn't something other people are putting you up to?"
"I never mentioned it, because I'd never asked myself the right questions." Jubal said with a huge smile.
"Well, you're a little happier, but is that simply because you've finally made a decision?"
"Probably. The being in the middle was really grating on me. Now that I made a decision, that weight lifted so I can finally just be happy."
"Well, we still have two years before you make your final decision. That is time enough to see if this really is for you."
"I thought so too. Kind of like a real life test sort of."
"Yes, but without any of the hormones sometimes associated with it."
"Yep. There is something I wanted to ask, though, I don't seem, to be getting any bigger. I've worn the same sized dress for the past couple of years. I've gotten a little bit taller, but not by much."
"Hmmm. We may want to get you in to an endocrinologist. Something may be off in your normal hormone levels. There also might be something else in relation to your intersex that is causing this."
"Okay, doctor. and thanks."
He snorted at this. The holy grail of eternal youth. But would even this company be willing to test those on a child?
How cruel would that be to halt the aging of a precocious child when all she wants is to grow into her mind.
After the nurse was done, the doctor came in.
"Hello, Jubal, I'm Doctor Sprauc"
"So, are you the endocrinologist?"
"That's a big word. Yes I am." He put on one of those miles you reserve for trained monkeys and other people's children.
"Doctor, while I may look like a nine year old, and my in fact be nine years old, I am neither an idiot, nor am I uneducated."
Mama Joey smiled at this, but continued to sit quietly in the corner.
The doctor straightened up, looked appraisingly at Jubal, and then smiled for real, "When Dr. Rath told me that he had a gifted child coming to see me, I never imagined. My apologies. Dr. Rath tends to get a little excited where his transsexual clients are concerned."
"Ah, but I am not your standard transsexual, doctor. Of course not. He'd never be referring a nine year old for hormone replacement."
She smiled at him, letting her tone soften a bit. "I apologize for snapping at you. It's actually easier dealing with the teens at my school than most adults."
"You don't find yourself an outcast there?"
"Not really. I think it's mostly to do with certain school policies regarding harassment and hazing, but they're really a great group of kids."
"That really is quite amazing."
"Well, being as they're a private school, they can actually expel students. I don't think most public schools have that luxury."
"Too true. Well, getting back to the point of your visit, I will be running some tests regarding your levels of human growth hormone. It is possible, although remote, that you have a growth condition, but for right now, we may simply be jumping the gun. The main thing that concerns me is that you have been approximately around the 50th percentile of height for your age. In the past couple of years, you've dropped a bit below the line.
"Where you would normally be about 54 inches at this age, you are only 52 inches."
"Two inches doesn't seem very much."
"Not much, no. And we may simply be borrowing trouble. It's also a possibility that it's related to your intersex condition. I noticed that you never had your gonads tested to see if your male or female parts were active?"
"I think they wanted me to make a determination of my gender without influence. I might have tried to force myself one way or the other assuming it was 'right'."
"Well, then we'd better get you checked out. It will affect the direction your body chemistry will be going in, and suggest courses of treatment before you go through your surgery."
"Thank you doctor."
The tissue of the gonads alternated between ovarian and testicular. In short, the child had ovotestis.
A genetic test would be able to determine the 'true' sex of the child, but nothing else would. Well, time to write up his report, and let the child know.
It would have been nice to give better news though. He wasn't sure he would be able to tell most adults that they were sterile, let alone a child of nine.
Katie quietly climbed the stairs, not wanting to disturb her friend, but hoping she could do something to help.
Jubal was sitting on her bed holding one of the pillows to her chest. She just stared off into the middle distance, not doing anything else. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but she currently seemed all cried out.
Katie was about to try to back out again, not even sure she could handle this when Jubal spoke.
"I always assumed that I'd pick the 'right' gender. That my body would tell me which was the correct way for me to go, you know?"
Katie nodded and came to sit down next to her friend.
"I assumed that choosing to be a girl would let me have children. That I'd get the opportunity to be the mother than my grandparents promised me I could be."
"Jubal. . ."
"It's okay, Katie. At least I hope it will be."
"No, it's not okay. I know how I'd feel if I received the same news. Sure, there are some women that don't want children. But I'm not one of them. I love playing with my nieces and nephews. My sister just had her first and he is so tiny. The thought of having one of my own fills me with joy every time I look at the little guy."
Jubal began to cry again, and Katie wrapped her up in a hug. "I wanted to finally be normal, Katie. Sure, I'd still be freaky intelligent, but I wanted to be normal for once in my life. I wanted to be a real girl, not this in between freak that everyone humors."
"You are a real girl, Jubal. You always have been to me anyway. And normal is over rated."
"So says the person who's normal."
Katie pulled off her right shoe and pulled something out of it.
It was an insert that was about an inch and a half thick.
"I have to wear shoes all the time so I can use this. My right leg is shorter than my left, and has been for pretty much my whole life. I'm not normal, Jubal. Like I said, it's not all it's cracked up to be."
"Katie, I didn't mean. . .I'm sorry I'm being such a baby about this."
"Jubal, you're entitled to a cry or two. Besides, I came to tell you that we have a surprise for you back at school. Someone decided you just needed to keep yourself busy."
Jubal as highly embarrassed and she blushed crimson as soon as she saw it. She looked at the posters trying to determine exactly what was going on. How would this keep her busy?
Then she noticed the words that were written on each and every one: Queen Jubal for Student Body President.
"Oh, no. I'm not doing this."
"Come on, Jubal. You're a shoo-in."
"That's the problem. I don't want to be roped into organizing the reunions from now until the end of eternity."
"Oh come on, that's only every five or ten years. And besides, it'll be fun for you to be on the student council."
"For certain definitions of fun. You know, where it's defined as to total lack of the same?"
"Come on, Jubal. If you lose, then no worries. If you win, then you know people support you."
"Wait, you didn't tell everyone. . ."
"Of course not. That's your own private hell. We just want you to be in our public one for a while," Katie said with an evil grin.
"Thank you, Katie."
"For what?"
"Making me come back to school so I could campaign against myself."
"Jubal!!"
"Hey, you guys are running my election campaign, so I feel obligated to sabotage it."
Katie laughed at this, and the two of them headed further into the school to participate in teenaged life.
"We have a request from the Thoreau Society to avoid playing ultimate football in the south field, as the trees that were planted on Earth Day are still struggling. As we all know, these trees were planted in memoriam of the students who died in a drunk driving accident the Christmas before. Already, one of the trees has been trampled, and they would like us to protect the other two."
"And finally, the news you've all been waiting for, but are sure to know already, the winner of the election for next year's student body president is Jubal Marie Franks. Her council will consist of. . ."
Jubal had been spacing out as she walked down the hallway. There was a lot to do, even this year, as the heir presumptive to the title of student body president.
"Congratulations, Jubal. Looking god for such an old lady!"
"Way to go, Jubal!"
Jubal smiled a little smile, and said, "Thanks."
"It's all downhill from here, Jubal."
Jubal found Katie near their shared locker. "What's going on, Katie?"
"I don't know. You ready to head in for lunch?"
"Sure, why not."
They entered the cafeteria and were assaulted by a giant yellow sign with black lettering: "Happy Birthday Jubal. The big 1-0 never looked so good."
"Guys! I thought we discussed plastering me all over the school." She tried to look severe, but she was giggling too hard to pull it off.
"That was your picture, and you'll notice that there is no picture up there," George said as he walked up.
"Hey, sweetie," Katie said and planted a kiss on George's lips.
Jubal turned away blushing.
"If your highness would follow me, please, your throne awaits."
George placed Jubal's hand in the crook of his arm and regally proceeded to their normal place at the head of the cafeteria. For the first time she noticed one of the upholstered arm chairs from the counseling office.
George helped her to climb up onto the table and seated her in her chair.
Jubal sat regally in her chair, and surveyed the faces looking up at her. "As our first order of business as queen, we shall order the execution of everyone. Off with your heads!"
There was general laughter at this, and as soon as it died down a bit, Jubal continued, "However, I shall offer a stay of execution, provided that you never do this again?"
"We make no such promises, My queen!"
"Amanda, perform a tickle torture on your boyfriend."
"At once, my queen."
There was laughter and smiles from everyone, as Jubal sat in mock court.
"I think it worked, George," Katie said quietly.
"It was all you. And yeah, it did. I haven't seen her laughing and joking like this since. . .she got the news."
"I know. So, should we go ahead with plans for the fashion show?"
"You better, or I really will order your execution. Thank you for this."
Katie looked up into Jubal's eyes. Jubal was smiling down on her two best friends, and truly happy. Katie's initial spurt of fear over being overheard slowly relaxed and she smiled back.
Jubal and the other girls had practiced walking up and down it almost constantly over the past month, and Jubal even found herself even strutting a bit off the catwalk.
One more day of this and everything could go back to normal. One more day of this and she could go back to her life. . .she hoped.
They opened the curtain just a bit where Jubal and the other models would come out. "Our first offering for you this evening is a lovely cream and white dress in satin and lace."
That was her queue and Jubal was off and down the strip of plywood and two by fours.
As soon as she stepped into the lighting the audience went away. She could hear them still, and see the occasional flash from a camera, but she was in her own world. She walked out to the end of the runway confidently, posed for a moment, and then turned and walked back and off stage through the space in the curtain.
She rushed over to the rack of clothing, dropped the dress she was wearing and put on the next one. She was glad that it was nothing but the other models and a couple of female teachers up on the stage. She might have felt too self-conscious changing otherwise. As it was some of the other models were blushing furiously as they changed.
Jubal hurried over to her place in the line for her next entrance and waited as the girls went out one by one. Before she knew it, she was next in line waiting for her queue.
"Our next dress. . ."
And she was off strutting her stuff down the runway a second time. She struck a different pose this time and she was off to the back and out through the curtain again.
Another change and waiting again. She noticed that the other girls were getting less self-conscious as it went on, and they were beginning to enjoy themselves.
They even began to giggle quietly as they joked amongst themselves.
Things were going so well. After this she only had one more change. Out, pose, back in and change, and she was waiting for her fourth and final trip down the runway.
This was a slightly longer gown, almost formal. She'd successfully navigated most of the way down the runway when her descending foot trapped a bit of the dress. She tripped as she was almost to the end of the runway.
There was a gasp from the audience, but she caught herself before tumbling off the end.
She hopped back up and gave a little girl 'did I do that?' pose before kicking up her heel and continuing down the runway.
She was blushing furiously by the time she got off stage.
Katie came over to her and hugged her. "That almost looked planned, Jubal. It was really cute."
"But I messed up your dress. I tore the hem completely off."
"That's alright. I like that one the least anyway."
Jubal giggled with Katie over this and the two of them got lined up across the back of the stage for final look with the designers.
"Ladies and Gentleman, the Griffin Academy High School designers and models.
As each of their names were announced, they each took a bow, and then it was over.
"I am never doing that again, Katie."
"Oh, we'll see." She said with a knowing smile. It was obvious that Jubal had fun up there, right up until her little tumble. Given the right opportunity, she might one day find herself up there again.
The game was a foregone conclusion as halftime approached, and Katie and Jubal got a bit bored. Griffin was already four touchdowns ahead when they put in their third string team. They got their fifth touchdown at that point.
There was a definite chill in the air, and a light frost on the ground. They went under the stands where it was enclosed and a bit warmer to talk. As soon as they got there, they began to hear something going on. It sounded a little bit like something hitting a wet bag of sand.
"That's what you get for pretending you're something you're not, faggot."
Jubal and Katie rushed over and saw three boys standing around kicking a girl on the ground. "Hey, leave her alone!"
Jubal rushed over, forgetting that she wasn't the most intimidating of people.
The boys started as if to run, and then saw who it was. "Hey boys, looks like we may get the faggot what a real girl does when a guy asks her nicely."
"Jubal, I don't think this is a good idea, Katie whispered at her."
"How 'bout it, ladies? Want to show this faggot how a real girl has a good time?"
They turned to run, and Jubal piled on the speed. She'd quickly outdistanced her friend when she heard a call of 'got you!' behind her.
"Jubal, go get help!"
With tears in her eyes, Jubal continued running, looking for anyone who could help them. She ran out into the stands and started yelling. "Help me! I think some boys are trying to rape my friend Katie!"
George had been going slowly insane watching the game unfold when he heard Jubal crying out behind him.
"Katie?"
"George," Coach Hensen yelled, "what are you waiting for, take the first string line and go and help her! Move it!"
"You heard Coach!"
More than just the linemen and George charged off the field. They lifted each other into the stands and ran after the receding figure of Jubal.
"Come on, guys, are we going to let a girl out run us?"
There were chuckles and the team piled on more speed. They caught up to, and then passed, Jubal. They rounded a corner in the corridor and one of the boys was beginning to lower himself onto Katie, completely oblivious of what was happening behind him.
George hit him with a flying tackle and began to beat the living tar out of him. A couple of the other players held his friends off while a number of them tried to pull him off the would be assailant.
"George, stop it! You're going to kill him. I'm alright. I'm alright."
Katie began to cry and George just went limp. He turn to her and folded her into his arms.
While holding Katie, Gorge turned to survey the damage he'd caused to the little punk. He was thinking happy thoughts to himself when Jubal's voice broke in on his reverie.
"She's not breathing!"
"Anyone got a cell phone on them?"
They dialed 911 and waited for the EMT's and police to arrive.
The girls face was a wreck, and Jubal didn't know what to do. They'd taken a course in CPR last year, but what did you do when you were afraid her neck might be broken?
A few moments later, one of the EMTs that had been attending the game rushed up to the group of teens, pushing his way in.
"Make a hole!"
The EMT rushed to the girl's side, and began checking for pulse, adjusted her head a bit, carefully, and began CPR.
"I need someone to help with compressions."
Katie pushed George forward, and he knelt to help.
They continued for five minutes until the rest of the EMTs arrived, swapping positions, and occasionally one or another of the football players would take a turn.
"We have a weak pulse, good, let's get her boarded and to the hospital.
Even though they didn't know her, the team, Jubal, and Katie sat in the waiting room, wondering what would happen. A doctor came out into the waiting room and looked surprised to see the team. Not seeing anyone else, the doctor turned to leave, but Jubal jumped up.
"Could you tell us any news regarding the girl we brought in here?"
"I'm sorry, but if you're not her family. . ."
"You don't have to spell out her condition, but if you could just tell us if she's going to be alright?"
"I really can't I'm so sorry, kids. Rules are rules."
A woman ran into the ER. She looked as though she'd been crying, and was not completely put together.
"Doctor, I'm looking for my son, I mean my daughter. I was told she was brought in here? Is she alright?"
"Are you Ms. Daius?"
"Yes, I'm Emily Daius. How is Rowan? How is my daughter?"
"Your. . .daughter has been severely beaten. Luckily she has no broken bones, but. . ."
"Tell me doctor."
"I don't think it's appropriate. . ." The doctor looked at the students in the waiting room.
"Who are all of these people?"
"We were responsible for saving your daughter's life after some boys tried to kill her."
"Just tell us doctor."
"Your daughter was struck repeatedly in the genitals with a blunt object, likely a boot or shoe. The soft tissue damage will heal, but. . ."
Ms. Daius began to collapse, and a couple of the lineman caught her and lowered her into a seat.
The doctor looked at them apologetically and then and then mumbled something about going back to see his patient and left.
"My poor child. What have they done to you."
"Ms. Daius?"
Jubal was wearing a skirt and leggings today, and looked very much like a preteen girl.
"How can I help you little one?"
"I'm sure that everything's not bad. Your daughter is alive, right?"
"Yes, she's alive, and I guess this is what she wanted. To be a girl. But now? I always thought my son would come back to me. That he would grow out of this and give me grand children eventually."
"Oh, I didn't really understand."
"I know, it's such a big concept for a child."
Jubal snorted, "No, not that. I didn't understand that she was transsexual. It makes sense now the things the boys were yelling at her. Well, now we have something in common, your daughter and I. Neither one of us will be able to have children."
Shock was painted on Ms. Daius' face, "you're a transsexual?"
Jubal giggled, "nothing so simple as that, but I am sterile. It's taken this moment for me to realize that even in this I am more normal than I thought. There are lots of people unable to have children. Your daughter and I are only two of them.
"Just give her love, Ms. Daius. There are so many different options for people who can't have children naturally. I had a wonderful set of adoptive parents, and I'm sure that if she wants, adoption is a route open to her."
"Had?"
"It's a long story. Are you sure you have the time?"
"Only if you want to tell it."
The team gathered around to listen as Jubal related his story. Some of them had heard parts of it. Some had lived through most of it, but none had heard it from Jubal's perspective.
When she finished, even some of the football players had tears in their eyes. When they noticed, they began a round of friendly punches, manning up as it were.
"Thank you so much for telling me, young lady. Have you ever considered becoming an author?"
"Oh, I only have one story to tell. Maybe when I've lived more I'll have more than just my own story."
"Well, your story is more than enough living for most people I know, and even in the short version you've told me, it has worth. I know this isn't something you've thought about, but I'd love to publish your autobiography if you tell it in print half as well as you just told it to me."
Ms. Daius handed Jubal a card. It read Beverly Daius, editor, Terra Firma Press.
"Can I think about it, Ms. Daius?"
"Yes, as long as you call me Beverly. I'm going to head up and see how my daughter is doing. Thank you so much for the comfort you've given me."
"All I did was tell you my story."
"That was enough, Jubal. You are a beautiful girl, and you've come through the trials of your life so much better than many other people I know."
"I've made mistakes, though. I'm not perfect. Putting me up as some sort of example would be a disservice to all the other people out there who have gone through so much more than I have."
"Jubal, one thing I would suggest is that you learn how to accept a compliment. And just write your story."
"Fine, I'll write it. I'm sure when I finish you'll realize even you don't want to publish it."
"Jubal, you are a special girl. Don't sell yourself short."
Jubal and Katie giggled as Ms. Daius went through the double doors into the rest of the hospital.
Maybe sometime he'd write his own story, but for now living in the stories of others contented him. Such a nice ending. So much had happened this year, and since he began to watch Jubal. There was more to this story, He was sure, but not for now.
For now he sealed up the DVD in a case for his own personal collection and then began to go through the footage deciding what he would provide to Mr. Hastings.
After that he would be deleting the rest of the video he'd taken. He debated including the rest of the footage from her junior and senior years, and then decided against it. The first story was done, and Mr. Hastings didn't need any of that.
Mr. Hastings needed whatever he, the watcher, provided him.
And this story, for the moment, was done.
He smiled into the darkness and caressed Jubal's still face on the monitor. He stopped the playback at the moment when she had stood to accept her diploma. The smile on her face was all the light he needed.
"Yes, for now, Jubal, your story is done. We'll see where it takes the two of us in the future."
The principle slid a step stool in front of the podium before stepping out of the way so that Jubal to take her place to give her address. In the past couple of months she'd taken to wearing light makeup to emphasize her feminine features and it was perfect today.
She took a deep breath and looked out over the audience.
"Many of these addresses are made by idealistic youth trying to prove their right to be recognized as the most intelligent person in the room. Some few actually show insight into the human condition, or make us think about more than where we want to go for lunch as soon as this interminable prattling is over."
After some scattered laughter, she continued.
"I am not an idealistic youth, but neither do I consider myself wise. I am simply myself, Jubal Marie Franks. Each of us here has a name. We have loved ones friends. We have hopes and dreams, fears and worries.
"High school was naught but a moment in any of our lives, and we continue our lives even now. We met people and grew in both knowledge and friendship."
"Some of us grew more than others!"
"Thank you, Lance. Amanda, it is times like these I wish you and Lance were still together so you could silence him."
There was some laughter at this.
"We had love, and heartbreak. And we will love and lose again, if we're lucky.
"I look out on you and realize that this is not the end, or even the beginning of the end. It is only the end of the beginning.
"We stand before you, our parents and siblings, ready to go on to the rest of our lives. We will be the lawyers and the doctors. The rising stars and the burn outs. The dancers and the football players.
"Some of us you won't ever hear about again. Some of us you will wish that you'd never heard of in the first place."
There was more laughter at this one.
"This is not a pep speech, nor is it a prediction. This is our life, we few, we proud. Our moment for ourselves and those we choose to share it with. Be true to yourselves my fellow students and seek joy. Live your lives in happiness and fulfillment."
Jubal stepped down to general applause, though whether that was to her being done or for her words, she didn't know. It didn't matter to her. She was happy with her words and ready for the next chapter in her life.
She realized that in thinking this she was simply stalling from the inevitable task of deleting the last five hundred words she'd written and beginning to tell the story again.
"You coming down for breakfast any time today, baby."
"Yes, Mama Joey. I'm coming down now."
Jubal straightened her clothing and then headed down for breakfast.
"Why look at you. That isn't your normal wear for a school day. What's the occasion?"
"Other than being the first day of my senior year, and my first day officially as student body president?"
"Yes other than that. You're more excited than normal to be going to school this year. You're. . .there's a boy isn't there!"
Jubal began to blush and play with her hair a bit. She'd considered bleaching it a couple of times, but most people had gotten used to the black on her, and she thought they might miss it if she came with another color.
Especially certain people who had been commenting on it this summer.
"There's a specific boy."
"Mama, leave it, okay? Yes, I like a boy."
"You like George."
Jubal's blush deepened to crimson and she hit her face in her hair. She nodded slightly and Mama Joey began to laugh.
"It's not funny, Mama."
"It's hilarious, baby. George has been your friend for a very long time."
"Only six years, Mama."
"When you're only ten, well almost eleven, that is a long time. Does he know?"
"I think he still sees me as the awkward little boy he first met in third grade."
"Jubal, no one who looks at you is going to think you were a boy."
"But, Mama. All the other girls are. . .well. . .endowed."
"All the other girls are seventeen or eighteen."
"Okay, so I'm a little younger than they are."
"You're a little younger than George is."
Jubal took a deep breath and sighed, "I know. and logically I know this won't work out. He'd have to wait about six years before anything can happen, and I have a pretty good idea how boys are."
"How do you know that? Because I was comforting both Amanda AND Katie after their breakups this summer."
"So that was it. I thought we were having unscheduled torrential flooding."
"I care deeply for both of them, but it really put a damper on writing."
"You still trying your hand at that?"
"I sent the first couple of chapters as a test to Beverly, and she said they show potential. She also said I need to not try as hard. I need to be natural about it. Write it like I'm telling a story. I try, but it never quite comes out the way I want it to."
"Tell. . .why didn't I think of this before. Follow me, baby."
Jubal followed Mama Joey down the hall. She'd known that there was a storage space under the stairs, but in the three plus years she'd been here, Mama Joey had never looked in there.
"This stuff used to belong to my husband."
"I never knew you were married."
"There's a lot about me you never knew. Not that I wanted to keep it from you, just that it never came up. We've been worrying so much about you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I've loved having you in this house. It's never dull, that's for sure. Ah, here it is."
She handed Jubal an old micro cassette recorder.
"He was a lawyer, my husband. Bought me this house his first year out of law school. He made noises a couple of times about moving us into a bigger place, but I wouldn't have it. This place has always been big enough for me."
"When did he die?"
"Oh, long before you were born, honey. Anyway, he used to record all of his client meetings on this, and then transcribe them later. I figured that it might help if you told your story to the recorder, and then did the same."
Jubal looked a little skeptical, but at Mama Joey's hopeful expression she relented and smiled.
"I'll try it out, Mama. Can't be any worse than my current writing."
Mama Joey hugged her. "I know it will work for you."
Jubal looked at the clock on the wall and started, pulling from the hug. "I've got to go, Mama."
"Then shoo. Be off with you. Go knock him dead."
"I'll try not to kill him too much."
She rushed upstairs to get her book bag and then rushed out the door. She usually ran to school, as Griffin Academy was only a couple of miles away. Today, she was more conscious of the way she looked so she went at a more sedate speed.
When she got to school, she smoothed the white dress over her knees, and adjusted the brocade vest. She took a step toward the door only to be run over by a blue and green blur.
"Hey, watch where you're going."
"Sorry, Frosh. I needed the door more than you did?"
"Frosh? Excuse me?"
"Freshman. You'll get used to it, baby."
And then he was off through the doors and racing through the halls of the school.
"I wasn't asking for clarification, you jerk." She said under her breath as she entered the school.
She had government for her first period class this year, which simply meant that she had a student council meeting every day. After morning announcements of course. She was feeling even more like a figurehead than she'd assumed she would last year.
Announcements were given from the front office, so she went in there to begin her duties.
"Hey, Jubal! So, you ready to begin the adventure of our senior year?"
"Yep, but apparently some new student thinks I should be starting my freshman year."
"Well, you have to admit, beautiful, that he has a point. You're younger than my sister, who is a freshman this year."
"Ok, Lance, I admit. I'm the same age that Amanda was when she started as a freshman."
At the mention of Amanda's name, Lance winced.
"Why did she dump you again?"
Lance winced even harder. "You know we don't have to go into that."
"Just checking. So, we ready for the morning announcements, or what?"
"Yes, I have them here." Lance had gotten himself elected as the student body secretary. Which was a fancy way of saying step and fetchit. He got the onerous task of preparing the morning announcements.
"Well, let me see them."
He seemed a little reluctant to hand them over, and I could see why as I began to read them.
"I can't say this."
"What? You have at other times."
"But I was always joking."
"Well, be joking this time. Hank and Cathy both agree that it is funny."
Hank was the senior class president, and Cathy was the student body vice president. She'd been the only person to run against Jubal last year, having put in her name before Jubal was roped into candidacy by her friends.
Jubal thought sometimes that the other girl held a grudge against her. There were rumors that the voting for SBP had been unanimous in Jubal's favor.
The bell rang announcing that classes had begun, and Miss Landau handed Jubal the microphone.
"Before I begin, I did not write this. It is I, Queen Jubal the First with your start of year announcements. All charters for clubs must be presented to Mr Brellin or Mrs Kinks before end of school on Friday. As with every year, a new club charter must be written and presented.
"Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school. . .I am not reading this."
Jubal turned to Lance and handed him the microphone and paper. "I'm delegating the rest of my responsibility for announcements today to you, Lance. Please finish."
"Um. . ."
"Lance, your grade in this class is based upon participation in student government activities," Miss Landau said with a little smile.
"Um, alright. Give me the paper."
"Begin with Open tryouts, lance."
"Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school, where the hot team captain, George Eades will be leading the team through its paces. Other announcements will be made regarding changes as the week progresses. It is I, your queen and benevolent ruler, Jubal signing off.
"There, happy?"
"Lance, please don't do this again. That was embarrassing for both of us, don't you think?"
Lance nodded, blushing furiously.
"I have to agree with Miss Franks, Lance. You have a responsibility to provide the announcements in a clear and concise manner. That is all. Sure, a little spice is okay, but don't put things in there that would embarrass our president." Miss Landau was a firm believer in leading through lesson.
They headed to their classroom to begin the council session and plan some school events for the year.
"Who's the ditz?"
"That's Jubal, new kid."
"Like short of Jubilee? Parents were big x-men fans or something? And my name's Kirk, not new kid, or fresh meat."
'Open tryouts for the football team begin tonight after school. . .' he heard a male voice say
One of the girls turned to him and looked at him as if he were insane. "Jubal is her name. Jubal Marie Franks."
"Her parents must have hated her to give her a girl's and a boy's name." He was used to getting laughs, and even started himself before he realized no one else was laughing.
"Listen, Kirk was it? You have a lot to learn about Griffin Academy. Comments like that could get you suspended?"
"What, because I am mentioning how silly her two names are?"
"Mr. Gessler, I assume by the fact that you're sitting in class, that you read and signed the student handbook, as of course you would have to in order to register for classes."
"I, um, skimmed it, Mr. Anderson."
"And while you, um, skimmed it did you happen to skim the section entitled 'Hazing'?"
"I guess, but isn't that the same policy that most schools have? Don't do it you bad wittow chiwdwen you?"
"Mr. Gessler. While the school you went to previous to this might have been lenient in this regard, we are not. In the past five years since implementing this policy we have suspended seven students and expelled one. This is not because we do not catch students, but because students police their own.
"You would be wise to remember that."
"But high school is about cliques and rivalry. The nerds are picked on by the jocks. The outcasts avoid everyone. The princesses rule from on high. The cheerleaders move between the princesses and jocks. Everyone survives and is happy as soon as over and they can go back to their own lives."
"Not in this school, Kirk. And Jubal may be the biggest nerd in our school. Considering she's taking more than half of her course load as concurrent enrolment online through the University." Katie'd had enough of this idiot.
"Wait, she is a super nerd. . .and giving the morning announcements? What is she the student body secretary or something? And how was she elected to that."
"Kirk, it would be a god idea to shut your mouth now," Katie said. "You've reached your knee and are still inhaling foot."
There were some giggles from a couple of the girls and a few of the boys chuckled.
"What? What did I say?"
"Jubal is the student body president."
"While Mr. Gessler does an impression of a goldfish, I'd like you all to turn to chapter one. Welcome to AP Biology. I'm sure that we'll have a pleasant year, those of you who have not been dissected."
"Mr. Anderson, We get to dissect cadavers in this class?" Katie asked.
"No, but hope springs eternal."
After her first couple of courses in her sophomore year, word got around about her.
She'd taken all of the science courses to her, and her English general education courses were completed as well. She was taking a creative writing course this semester, hoping it would provide some help with her book.
The first day of school, and already alone in the library.
She was only half paying attention to her professor, as she had already read the syllabus, as well as the first half of the textbook. Today was a general introduction to the course, with the slight possibility of some new material.
She found herself thinking about the student who had run into her at the door this morning. She knew that she looked a year or two younger than she was, which at ten took a significant portion off her actual age, but she didn't think she dressed like your average freshman.
She was poised and confident.
Why couldn't he see that in her?
Why did it matter at all if he did?
It was a chance encounter and. . .
"Ms. Franks? A little something about yourself for the class please?"
"Oh, I'm ten years old and a senior at Griffin Academy High School. I'm taking this class because I've taken all the other concurrent education courses at the University, and a publisher wants me to write my life story."
"That ought to be short," one of the other students said loud enough to be picked up by the mic.
"Ms. Franks is not exaggerating when she says she's taken all of the other courses, and with A's as well. She is the reason we are currently looking at the quantity of concurrent education courses. As she is currently in the class, I will be running a modified curve this year. The second highest student in the class will be getting a 99%. Ms. Franks will be getting whatever her grade is in relation to that, however far above 100% it goes."
"That's not fair!"
"Ms. Franks. Please tell the class what your grade did to the previous class you had a curve grading system in."
Jubal blushed but replied, "the second highest grade was a B-."
There were a couple of gasps and sounds of shock. "We grade on a curve in many of these courses so that it is based upon the abilities of the students in the class, and better judges how good the professor was at teaching the subject.
"Students like Jubal throw off the curve because they learn all the material regardless of how poor a teacher I am."
There were a couple of laughs at this.
"Now, it would be a good idea to listen to the questions Jubal asks, as well as to their answers. She is as much the teacher in this course as I."
Jubal wondered how much of this was true, and how much was to defuse potential problems she might have with these students in the future. I had embarrassed her all the same.
The bell rang, but she still had another five minutes left of class. As Lunch was next, that meant she had the time. She'd just have to hurry a bit to eat so she could be to her next class, P.E., on time.
When you take classes during summer school not because you need them, but because you're bored, you tend to get way ahead of the curve. She was taking P.E. to fill in a hole in her schedule, since she'd already fulfilled her P.E. requirement her freshman year.
And it would be fun to be with girls closer to her own age for at least a part of the day.
The class ended and she signed off and headed toward the lunchroom.
Again the green and blue blur ran over the top of her.
"Hey, watch where you're going!"
"I was watching, and you seemed a much more pleasant obstacle to collide with than the wall, frosh."
He continued running down the hall, seeming to head in the direction of the cafeteria.
I was starting to wonder where he would sit, when he spotted one of the people he'd been looking for.
"George! My man!"
"Hey, Kirk. So you decided to defect from Sampson after all?"
"Yeah, it helps that I got accepted to Griffin. Loved that letter of recommendation from your dad."
"Don't mention it."
"You're dad is a rich alumni, who has donated money to this school every year."
"No, I really meant, 'don't mention it.' Some of my best friends are here on scholarship and I really don't like to advertise who my father is."
"Gotcha." Kirk sat down in the seat to George's left. Katie, who Kirk had ignored 'til now, was on Kirk's left and made a noise, but George shook his head.
Kirk heard the sound. "Oh, you. Why'd you have to bust my chops so hard in AP Biology this morning."
"Well, Jubal happens to be a friend of mine, as well as George's"
"You're friends with a nerd, George?"
"Kirk, I've. . ."
"Let me handle this, Katie. Kirk, you're here to play football, right?"
"Hell yeah. It's the reason I came here."
"Well, keep in mind if you get suspended for hazing, or anything like unto it, you're off the team for the rest of the year."
"You've got to be kidding me."
Katie smirked at him, "Nope, it's the truth."
"Hi, I do believe that you're in my seat."
Kirk tuned and looked behind him and smirked, "Coming to join your betters, Frosh?"
The girl he'd run over a couple of times today in the white dress and brocade vest glared at him. He didn't find it very intimidating coming from the pixy face.
"Jubal, he's not worth it."
"Wait, this is Jubal? I thought you had to be a senior to be the Student. . .oh, crap."
"Yes, I'm a senior."
"Look, I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well, I'm sure you're aware of the hazing policy?"
Kirk turned white as a sheet, and George stepped up to his rescue. "Kirk didn't mean anything by it, Jubal. Let him be. It's his first day here."
"Well, I supposed I could over look it this once if he apologized by taking me on a date."
When everyone started looking at her in shock, she blushed. "I just said that aloud, didn't I?"
Jubal sat down on the other side of George and wouldn't even look in Kirk's direction. He wasn't all that cute, and he was so rude, and sure he was an okay runner, but there was nothing. . .well, he did have a nice firm behind. . .no. She would not think about how the muscles moved as he ran off. . .
"George, this is all your fault, I'll have you know." Jubal said, trying to hide some of her embarrassment in anger.
"Me, what did I do?"
"You broke up with Katie, that's what."
Kirk and George were still mystified, but Katie's shock and growing half smile let Jubal know that she knew.
This is not good.
"Jubal, I think you and I need to go to the ladies room."
Kirk began to make a comment about girls going in packs to the ladies room, but George shushed him.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Katie lit into Jubal, "You've got a crush on George."
"Why did you two have to break up? Before that I was content with him just being my friend. It wasn't until he was on the market that I started having all these difficult thoughts, and then I began to realize that I liked men. . .oh, why did you guys break up? It would have been so much easier to deal with this if you'd just kept on 'til graduation."
"Jubal, honey, you know why. George wanted me to go to Texas A&M with him, and I want to go to the Fashion Institute."
"But, I'm not old enough to deal with it."
"Based on your reaction to Kirk, I think you are perfectly old enough."
"But. . ."
"No buts, Jubal. I wish you luck with George. You to fit better than he and I ever did."
"Then why do I think this way about Kirk?"
"Probably because he has a nice butt."
"Katie!"
"Well, he does!"
"That's not the point."
"Well, I see you noticed as well."
Jubal nodded. "And when he's running? I think I'll have to avoid the football games if he joins the team because those tight pants. . ."
Katie stopped for a moment and turned bright red. "Oh, you're bad."
"Oh no I'm not. I'm perfectly innocent and pure."
"Well, you're pure, that's true, but you've never been innocent since I met you."
The two girls giggled as they walked back over to their table and their half eaten meals.
Instantly Kirk's mind flashed an image of Jubal.
She's so young. And she's so irritating as well. Just because she's a ten year old senior doesn't mean she has to act like she knows everything, and that morning announcement? 'Queen Jubal'?
"Wow, sighing already? You're infatuated on your first day? Who's this girl whose already captured my bro's heart."
"What? No! She's your age, sis."
"Where did you meet a fifth grader? And why would you want a ten year old. That's kind of gross."
"No, she's a senior and smart and, oh. . .crap. I need to avoid going back."
"Bro, come on, it can't be that bad. I mean she's smart if she's a senior."
"You can't tell ANYONE, Beth. No one. I would never live this down. I mean, for once I don't care how a girl looks."
"What?"
"She's smarter than I am, Beth! I mean, I thought I was good being ready to graduate as a sophomore. I haven't been able to have a real conversation with a girl in years, well except for you."
"That's because I'm not a girl, I'm your sister."
He chuckled at that, and she joined him after a few moments.
"So, maybe I'll challenge her to a game of chess for the right to date you, bro."
"Oh no you don't. Last girl you did that to went away in tears."
"She was the one that thought being the head of the chess club meant she could play."
"Well, you've got a point there."
"Hey, thinking of Stephanie, she wasn't that much of a looker."
"What are you talking about. She was pretty."
"She had braces, freckles, and coke bottle glasses."
"And impeccable fashion sense, beautiful hair, the cutest little button nose. . .blue eyes. . ."
"Stephanie's eyes were brown. Although the other ones kind of fit. Are you sure that you aren't really metrosexual or gay or something? I mean fashion sense?"
"Great, I think I've got a bit of a type, Beth."
"What are you talking about?"
"I like a confident girl who dresses well and takes care of her appearance."
"Well, now you know, just find one of those your own age."
Then, she began transcribing it. She had the first two chapters rewritten and sent off to Beverly Daius before the night was over. It had taken her almost a week per chapter the first time she'd tried to write this.
She sat down to relax, and immediately her mind wandered to Kirk.
"Must keep busy. I can't deal with this. Ok, let's do chapter three then."
She'd done her homework at school for the same reason that she was working so furiously on her book. She wanted, needed , to distract herself.
She stopped for a moment, thinking about what she was doing. Why did this boy capture her mind so. It wasn't because of his behind, although it was fun to watch.
He was, something. . .something about the way he carried himself. Something about. . .
She was pissed at him for running her over. She wasn't infatuated. She hated the jerk. He was good looking and knew it. He was arrogant and conceited. That's why he was occupying her thoughts.
Ok, she just had to focus on her anger over his poor behavior and actions and she'd be able to move past him.
Then she could get back to her life without him.
She ignored the tears in her eyes as she began working on the third chapter again.
She'd stayed up until four this morning, unable to banish thoughts of Kirk and George fighting over her from her mind. She wasn't even sure right now who she wanted to win that fight.
The book she had been using as a distraction would no longer be there to take her attention from things she didn't want to think about.
At a little over two hundred thousand words she was done. She'd done a quick pass over the last passages she'd written for overt spelling and grammar mistakes and then sent it off to Beverly.
She'd then lay down to try and get a couple of hours sleep before school. At least today was Friday and not much could happen to her before the weekend.
Kirk looked at his sister and just shook his head.
"Jane, you are too much a morning person to have come to this family naturally. You're either a mutant alien, or an elfin changeling or something."
"Oh come on. I'm not that different. You just take until seven before you're chipper. I'm happy to greet the sunrise."
"Chipper. Now you're sounding like Mom or Dad."
She giggled at this, "So, did you ask her over yet?"
"No."
"Why not? It will be fun! I want to test out her chess skills. See if she's worthy of you, bro."
"Leave off, okay, Jane! She's way too young for me. It's. . .weird."
"Personally, sounds to me like the entire school you go to is weird, but whatevs."
"Where in the world do you get your word choices, sis?"
"Movies, the internet, and the dictionary."
"Sorry I asked."
"Look, either you ask her, or I will. She's not someone to be afraid of, I mean come on. I'm only ten and you're not afraid of me!"
"Jane, you absolutely terrify me."
"Oh, haw haw haw."
Kirk chuckled as he moved toward the garage. "Give me a ride to school? Pretty please?"
"You're feminine charms won't work on me, harlot. I am immune." He said in a bad Charleton Heston accent.
"Yeah, but my little sister power of blackmail works just fine."
"Ok, brat. Come on."
She got into the office without incident, and then noticed a girl sitting looking around her.
Jubal walked up to her, and was scrutinized for a moment by the girl before she looked away.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I guess. So, my brother told me that this girl does announcements? Jubal? And she's supposed to be my age and I wanted to ask her something."
"I'm Jubal."
"No way you're my age. You look so much older than 10. Like, 13 or even 14. But not 10."
Jubal blushed as she smiled, "Well, I like you already, cause even if that's flattery, it's nice to hear."
"Seriously. And you don't talk like my friends either."
"Would you believe that I started coming to high school when I was 7? It sort of kept me away from my own age group."
"I wish I was in high school already."
"Do you go to Griffin?"
"Oh, no. My parents can barely afford for Kirk to go here."
There was a momentary flutter of her heart as Jubal heard the mention of Kirk's name. This was his sister? Jubal hadn't even known he had a sister.
"You perked up when I said my brother's name, didn't you?"
"Stop it, I did not. I don't even like your brother."
"Lips may lie, but cheeks do not!"
"Kids, we have some responsibilities to attend to here?"
Jubal glared at Cathy, even though she knew that the other girl was right.
"Sorry, I have to give the announcements, but after that, I can talk to you for a moment before I go to class."
"Good Morning Griffin High. A final reminder that all club charters need to be in today before the end of school. We have been asked by the principal this year to refrain from painting, marking, or otherwise defacing our lockers, inside or out, as they are the property of the school and it does cost them thousands of dollars every year to fix them in preparation for the new year.
"He suggested that I tell you to treat them like your iPod or iPhone, but I've seen some of your iPods and figure that would be a worse idea than saying nothing.
"Cheerleading try outs for everyone interested will take place on Monday after school. The basketball team would like to get a head start on practicing as they are feeling outdone by the reigning champions of the football team. As such they will be holding tryouts in the same place, at the same time as the cheerleading team.
"Mostly, I've been told, it's so they can get into the closed tryout and ogle the girls without actually trying out for the team.
"And last, I have a very special call out to one of our students from a very special someone."
I handed the mic to Kirk's sister. "Hey, Kirk. I'm ditching school." The other student councilors laughed at this.
I took back the mic back. "That concludes the announcements for the day."
"So, how long do you figure before he gets here," Hank asked.
Jubal made a disgusted face. "Have you seen hoe hr runs through the halls? I figure the moment we try to leave the office he'll run right over the top of me."
Jane looked shocked, "What?"
"He did it twice on Monday. Apparently I'm too small to see."
"Well, let's get to class." Miss Landau said as she headed toward the door. She should have listened to Jubal's warning.
"I'm so sorry," Kirk said helping Miss Landau up from the floor.
"Kirk, I assume? You may consider slowing down in the halls."
"I'm sorry. I just needed to take care of my wayward sister it seems. Jane, what are you doing here?"
"Inviting Jubal over to our house tomorrow. She still owes me that chess game."
"Well, I wasn't aware I owed you a chess game, but it would be fun, I think. Just so you're aware, I've never played chess. You'll have to teach me."
Jane looked shocked. "But, everyone knows how to play chess."
"Not me, unfortunately. I really would like to learn though." Jubal snuck a glance in Kirk's direction, which Jane caught.
She narrowed her eyes a bit, but let it pass. After she destroyed Jubal's confidence by winning at chess, her brother would be safe. It was that simple for her. "Ok, just get our address from Kirk, since he seams angry with me for some reason."
Kirk practically dragged Jane out to his car. "I didn't need you to do that for me, brat."
"Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn't know that the only reason she's coming is because you'll be there."
Kirk was speechless.
"Maybe I should let her win a couple of games before stomping her. I like a speechless older brother."
Kirk glared at her but continued to say nothing. He'd get his revenge by telling their parents about this little escapade later this evening.
This was supposed to be HER year. Cathy Brandis as SBP. And she would get George to love her, because he was only what Cathy deserved. She was supposed to be queen bee here. She was supposed to be the center of attention. She had the right parents, the right clothes, and the right doctors.
She was beautiful and pleasant to be around.
So why was that nerd in her place. They even acknowledged the little thing as Queen of the school.
She needed some way to get back at Jubal, but everything that came to mind would get her suspended from school and removed from the student council. No, she needed something that couldn't be tracked back to her, and would, even better, remove Jubal as a problem permanently.
Cathy didn't need to kill her. No that would be too good for the little bitch. She just needed her to acknowledge her place in this world. . .at the bottom.
She took a couple of calming breaths, not to remove her intense hatred of little mis(ter) perfect. To bank the embers of it and let her seem to be the sweet person who would win the school's approval in the power vacuum that would be left when their Queen was no more.
Now, how to remove Jubal as a rival.
Jubal got a salad each day, but it wasn't about being healthy. Iceberg lettuce as a base, cottage cheese above that, ham chunks, sweet peas, and then mandarin oranges in light syrup. Occasionally the mandarin oranges were either absent or out and she would go with pears instead. Rarely peaches.
She was afraid of how many calories it was adding to her diet, but that's why she ran home from school. These days she didn't go running unless there were a shower for her at the end of it. Damn puberty.
She almost giggled at that. The fear the endocrinologist had regarding her ovotestis was that she would need HRT for the rest of her life. Apparently that wouldn't be the case, since she'd started puberty before summer started.
Her fear of not having a normal puberty had been replaced with disgust at having a normal puberty.
Oh well. She would survive. Especially if Kirk would just show up.
And that was what had her so nervous. She knew he had the same lunch as she did this semester, but he was nowhere to be found.
He came through the door with George and her heart beat faster. She wasn't ready for this. Too young and inexperienced, even if she was a senior. It felt ironic to her that she was having her first schoolgirl crush in her senior year.
She didn't let that stop her from adjusting her hair, and checking her makeup surreptitiously in a hand mirror.
She smiled at them as they came toward her bearing their selections from the food offered.
"So, Kirk. Apparently you're supposed to be giving me your address for tomorrow."
"What's this?" George asked.
Kirk opened his mouth to respond, but Jubal jumped in before he could get a word in, "Kirk's sister, Jane, invited me to their house to learn how to play chess."
"Wait, didn't you learn how to play last summer? I seem to recall my Dad spending a couple of weeks giving you the basics before you were trouncing him."
"Yeah, I started looking up master level games online, and memorizing the movement patterns."
"But, you told my sister you didn't know how to play."
"All part of the game, Kirk."
"Telling my sister you don't know how to play chess is part of the game?"
"Not THAT game," Katie said coming up behind them.
""Huh?" Kirk said.
Katie looked over at Jubal, who nodded for her to go ahead, "the girl game. The one that boys never get. Jane is trying to keep unworthy females from dating her idolized big brother. So, she embarrasses them at chess. Primitive, but effective in certain situations. If they feel uncomfortable in your house, Kirk, then that puts a strain on the relationship.
"See, Jane never overtly lets them know she disapproves. She just invites them to play every time they come over. She just acts like an exuberant youngster. Only a skilled operator will be able to notice her actions for what they are. Well, that or a savant like our Jubal here."
Jubal blushed prettily and it was Kirk's turn to have palpitations. He had to figure out some way to dissuade her coming over.
"You know, I'd understand if you didn't want to come over."
"No, I'm fine with it. I hardly ever associate with kids my age, and I've been looking for a challenging match. People have started declining games with me at chess.com. I've even been accused of being a chess master incognito."
"You two deserve each other." Kirk said under his breath, but not quietly enough.
"I'll have you know I'm not into girls." Jubal was blushing as soon as she'd said it. Why didn't she just leave well enough alone?
When Kirk's mouth dropped open, Katie grabbed Jubal by the arm and steered her toward the bathroom.
"What was that, Jubal?"
"It just slipped out. I don't know what I was thinking! He must think I'm a total freak."
"Or he might get the right idea and realize that you're totally into him."
"Oh crap. Not good."
"Why? Because you had this fairytale romance between yourself and George?"
Jubal looked at her with a bit of fear. She still wasn't sure where Katie stood on that issue.
"Yes, I am relieved to know that my friends will not start dating each other. I was okay with it, or so I thought, but it is a weight off knowing that Kirk is just as much into you."
"What!?" Jubal's face lit up.
"You are so young sometimes. Yes, Kirk likes you, Jubal. Anyone but the two of you can see you've both got it bad."
Jubal squealed and hugged Katie.
Katie giggled and hugged her back.
"So, what are you going to wear to your date tomorrow?"
All the color drained from her face as the import of Katie's words struck home.
"Well, not really a date, but you want to look your best when his parents see you for the first time."
"Katie, that's even worse!."
"All the more reason that we should start tonight to get it taken care of."
"Ok, come over to my place after school and we'll get started."
"Hello, Jubal. Afternoon, Katie."
"We're giving Jubal a makeover. She's going to a boys house tomorrow."
Mama Joey laughed at this, "well, have a good time girls."
They went upstairs to Jubal's room.
"Katie, could you give me a moment? I want to check my email."
"Not thinking Kirk might have send something to you, are you?" Katie said with a smile.
"What? Oh, no, I sent my book off to my publisher. Wanted to see if she sent anything back to me."
"Well, hurry it up. We have so much work to do, and we might even need to go shopping before tomorrow."
Jubal giggled at this, "I almost wish the dresses from last year still fit. I have a feeling they might be a little tight in a couple of areas."
Katie got a thoughtful look on her face and went in search of Mama Joey while Jubal worked on her email.
"Do you have a tape measure?"
"Somewhere. Not thinking of making her a dress are you?"
"Not enough time for that. No, I'm thinking of altering one of the ones I made already. As long as her measurements haven't changed too much, that is."
They did a quick search of the kitchen drawers and turned up the tape measure.
"Thanks, Ma'am."
"I've told you in the past. Just call me Mama Joey."
"Ok, Mama Joey."
Katie went back up to the room to an excited Jubal.
"She got it, Katie. She's already read the first three chapters and thinks that it is worthy of the faith she had in me. She says if the rest of it is as good as the first three chapters she's going to publish my book."
"That's so great, Jubal." Her words might have been right, but something in her body language was off.
"Katie?"
"Sorry. I just find it hard to deal with you sometimes."
"What? What did I do wrong?"
"Nothing. That's the problem. Published author. Super smart. Half the student body in love with you. Student Body President. I mean, you are so perfect it hurts sometimes."
"Katie, you know I'm not perfect. I make all sorts of mistakes."
Katie began giggling at that, "you even make mistakes perfectly. You make them once for the life experience and then never make them again."
"Oh, you. Why did you get the tape measure?"
"Because I can think of the perfect dress for you to wear tomorrow. Remember that black, red and white number you wore third for the fashion show?"
"It made me look like a college student."
"Exactly. You looked as mature as the rest of us know you are inside."
"But. . ."
"No buts. I can make some adjustments, let it out a bit in the bust and hips," she looked at Jubal appraisingly, "Maybe even take it in through the waist."
"What?"
"How tall are you now? You seem to have slimmed down just a little."
"Don't know. You're the one with the tape measure."
"Well, then let me use it. You're going to have to strip, girl."
Jubal stripped down to her training bra and panties.
"You know even if I'd never seen george in his underwear I doubt I would mistake you for a boy."
"What? Why?"
"Not enough of a package."
"Well, it does what it's supposed to, and in a little over a year I'll have it corrected."
Katie quickly measured all the relevant areas, and jotted them down on a piece of scrap paper.
"Well, if I remember your measurements correctly, then I will have to let you out in the hips just a bit. Maybe an inch. Your waist is a bit slimmer as well. Unfortunately the bust hasn't changed much at all."
"Oh, pooh. I thought they were a little puffier than before."
"Well, they might be, but it takes time for them to develop, girl."
"I know that. I have taken courses in human sexuality and development. It's just I want to be older so badly right now."
Katie and Jubal giggled at this.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. In such a rush to be women, and then we want everything to slow down again. Hey, at least you'll already be in the real world long before you're even twenty."
"Yeah, so I'll have ten years before I turn the dreaded 3-0."
"Unlike me, who will be mere moments away from that dreaded point in the same period of time."
"Yeah, but it would still be nice to be a bit older so I had something more than promises to offer. . .people."
"If they're worth it, then the promise will be enough."
"And if the promise is not enough?"
"Then there's always George who is a complete gentleman."
Jubal's computer dinged.
She went over to take a look at it. There was another email from Beverly.
'Jubal,
Apparently the medical profession currently calls intersex a disorder of sexual development or DSD. I don't think it should cause a problem with most people reading your story, since you describe what it is for those who have never heard of it, but, and this is a big but, we may want this to be something that medical professionals are fine with suggesting for parents of children with DSD. Just a thought I had.
If you want to do that, then we may want to consider changing references to intersex to be DSD instead.
Regards,
Beverly.
"Huh. Well, leave it to medical professionals to change a perfectly good label for something for no real reason than making an acronym."
"What?"
"Oh, apparently I'm no longer intersexed."
"Oh really?"
"I am suffering from DSD. Disorder of sexual development."
Katie snorted at the other girl, "So, does that make you any less or more like the rest of us?"
"Nah, just a new name for it."
"Good to know."
"So, what is the plan for your makeup and hair?"
"Is there much I can do with shoulder length hair?"
"Oh so much. Not that I am a hairstylist, and not that we want to go completely bonkers. Save that for prom. No. Hmm. Let's leave it loose. A slight curl maybe?"
"Sure. We can do that."
"And you're normal subdued makeup is probably perfect."
"Well, I had a great teacher for that?"
"Thanks, Jubal. You are really nice to say that."
"What? I was talking about George."
The two of them giggled over this.
Katie looked appraisingly at Jubal's legs, "no hair to speak of yet, so there is that. No shaving for you tonight."
"I have a hair or two in my pits. . .sometimes. I pluck those instead of shave for right now."
"Probably for the best. Easier on the skin."
"You know, Katie. Sometimes I really feel trapped in my own body. It's weird I know. I just feel like I'm so much bigger than my 10-year-old looking body gives me credit for."
"Honey, we all feel that way sometimes."
"Well, I'll stop by tomorrow with your dress before you head out. You still got the shoes?"
"Yes, and they still fit. My feet haven't noticeably grown yet."
"Okay, sweetness. You get some sleep, Okay. We want you well rested for your date."
"Get on with you, slave, and prepare my royal vestment."
"Yes, my liege. Your will is my own, my liege."
They giggled as Katie left.
Jubal sat to compose an email back to beverly.
Beverly,
That sounds like a good idea. I'll do a quick search and replace on my copy of the text and determine where DSD is more appropriate than intersex. . .
Jubal sat there thinking for a moment before changing her mind. She didn't need to make this change. She needed a foreword.
She sat down at her keyboard for a moment, fluttering her fingers above the keys, and then began to search for DSD using scholar.google.com
After reading through a number of entries on DSD, especially the rarer variant of Ot-DSD that she had, she began to write.
In recent years the definitions for what makes a person have been under attack by the scientific community. They quantify, codify, and catalog. People are not the sum of their DNA and also are not the sum of their experience.
We are a mixture of our DNA, Nature, and the life experiences that we survive, Nurture.
There is no one answer to what makes a person, and should we be lucky, there never will be.
The medical community have decided that intersex is simply one of a number of disorders of sexual development.
Dictionary.com, care of Random House, defines disorder as a disturbance in physical or mental health or functions; malady or dysfunction.
I am not a dysfunction.
My life is not a disturbance.
Luckily I was given the choice to join in what the rest of society deems normal, but it was my choice. Should I choose to stay as I am, there should not be a problem with that either.
There are no long term side effects of the specific type of DSD I have, OT-DSD, although a slight increase of the risk of cancer is indicated.
This is my story. It is a tale of the path I've taken to be the person I now am.
My name is Jubal Marie Franks and I am eleven years old.
She sent this off with a note to Beverly, and lay down to get some sleep.
The worst of them was when, for any number of reasons that she could come up with, Kirk ended up seeing her panties. Either because her dress slipped up, or because she fell over or. . .
She kept inventing new reasons why it might happen as well.
He was the only person she knew at school who didn't know her issue.
Oh, crap. The book. Everyone in the world would know her condition. Intersex, DSD, it didn't matter what you called it. She knew her life at school was different than she'd likely encounter in the rest of the world. And the world would all know how different she was. Sure that would be changing in just under fourteen months, but they would know what she'd been before.
A feeling of dread overcame her, and she was suddenly feeling ill.
She rushed to the bathroom and vomited everything she had in her stomach, and then tried to follow that up with her small intestines.
"Jubal, honey, are you okay?'
Jubal nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but quickly leaned over the toilet again to continue her communion.
"What's wrong?"
"I just realized that a lot of people are going to be reading my book."
Mama Joey began to laugh, "Oh, honey. I'm sorry. It is so hard to forget how old you are sometimes. You act so mature, and then something like this. You've never been shy before. . ."
"I know, but the idea of all those strangers knowing so much about me. It was more than I could handle. That and the idea of Kirk finding out that way."
"Jubal, honey. You are a girl. You've always been a girl. Sure, you have some traits that are more boy like, but all of us are a mixture."
"I know that. Years with Dr. Rath has left me with that knowledge."
"Yes, but that's not the point I'm making, dear heart. Anyone who knows you will know how much you really are a girl. You've just had a slight birth defect for the past eleven years."
"I'm not eleven yet, Mama Joey."
"In two months you will be. That's good enough for me."
Jubal washed her mouth out a couple of times in the sink to remove the taste of bile.
Mama Joey wrapped her up in a huge hug when she was done. "Everything will be okay, Jubal. You'll see. People enjoy being around you."
"You only say that because you're my Mama."
"I thought that the first time I met you, when you're grandparents died."
A thought occurred to Jubal, and she began to tear up a bit.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Am I a bad person because I don't miss my grandparents anymore?"
"Of course not. Everything in this life comes to an end, even grief. We mourn the loss of people we love. sometimes, we will remember them at odd moments. Happy sometimes, and sad others. But it won't be with the immediacy of that first mourning."
"But I loved them so much."
"And I'm willing to bet that you still love them."
Jubal nodded silently.
"Then they will never truly be dead to you. When we keep the memories of people we've loved alive, they live through us. Our actions reflect upon then for good or evil."
"Would they be happy with my choice?"
"Did they ever directly tell you to be one or the other?"
"No."
"Then they would be happy with your decision."
Jubal smiled.
"Well, since we're both now awake, how bout I brew us some chamomile and we have a little chat until we're both ready to sleep again."
"I'd like that Mama Joey.
Jubal sat as Mama Joey prepared the tea. She wasn't ready to begin talking so Mama Joey kept up her side of the conversation without assistance. She talked about 'her' kids as she called them.
She told Jubal about the difficulties that they faced, and her worries all using generalities of course. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Mama Joey began to rope her into the conversation. She'd ask Jubal's opinion on what she was doing to help, and even got Jubal to volunteer a couple of hours during the next week to help out at a group home. Mama Joey expected some new youth volunteers and wanted Jubal to show them the ropes.
"So, you want to talk about it, honey?"
"I'm afraid of Kirk finding out that I'm me."
"Why does that matter do much to you? You know you're female."
"I know, and if he doesn't really respect me enough to realize that, he's not worth it. That won't change how much a rejection like that will hurt."
"I know, honey. He hasn't rejected you yet, though."
"But, if I tell him now when he has nothing invested, it would be easy to just reject me out of hand without even trying to get to know me. He'll decide it was because I was lying to everyone when you know that's not the case. If I wait until we've spent time together, and things are going smoothly, then I will have been lying to him from the beginning and he'll have a reason to reject me even if he has something invested."
"So, you've already decided for him?"
"Statistics say I'm right. Unless a guy is actually looking for a transsexual he is less likely to accept being with a transsexual in a relationship."
"Look, there are guys who know what you are that are after you."
"Lance? I think the only reason he stays interested is he saw me naked."
"What? You never told me that!"
"Oh, um, when I was a freshman. Locker room. um, yeah. Can we not talk about this?"
"Ok, but I'll get this story out of you eventually."
Jubal sighed. "And then, I'm opening myself up for a world of freaks and crazies with my book. They'll all read it and get the wrong ideas about me. They'll want me to support their pet sexuality causes, or they'll think I'm their perfect mate, or they'll. . ." Jubal shuddered.
"I don't think I can handle that, but I think, like Beverly, that this story is important enough that people need to be told. They need to know me, not some pen name."
"But Jubal honey, this puts you at risk. You could get yourself killed. I know I never said anything about this before, but at the rate you were writing I thought we had time to stop the project."
"Blame Kirk. I was writing to try to not think about him."
"Then why are you going to his house?"
"I don't know! I don't get why I can't focus. I've never had this problem before. I just change my mind and I can get back on track. I change what I think about and I don't have thoughts of his hands, or his eyes, or the way his behind. . ." Jubal blushed.
"Honey, you're just infatuated."
"I want to stop being infatuated. It is so frustrating. I want so much out of a relationship, why are my hormones so in charge of it all. Mama, I want a guy I can talk to, who will hold me when I cry and tell me everything is going to be alright. I want him to hold my hair when I vomit. He will be able to take me dancing at the drop of the hat. He needs to love me more than his family, but still want to experience all of their sadness and joy.
"I want a man who is more concerned of my needs than getting to his class by the shortest route possible even if it means running me over."
"He didn't."
"Twice!"
Mama Joey began laughing.
"It's not funny!"
"Yes, dear heart, it is."
"Oh, pooh. Yes, it is."
"Honey, you know that there will never be a man that fits this entire list?"
"Can the one I fall in love with at least meet that last criteria?"
"Oh, Jubal. Love isn't that simple. It is part emotion and part choice. It is an emotion that only sweeps us away when we let it. It is powerful and moving and demands that we do something about it.
"The thing you have to remember is that as long as you go in with both eyes open, then you'll never be surprised. No one is ever exactly who they think they are. Never believe what a person tells you. Believe what they do around you.
"Watch how he treats his mother and sisters. Watch how his father treats his mother and sisters. You'll get a good idea of how he'll treat you from those two things."
"Okay, Mama, but aren't you trying to give me an entire life worth of homilies in one breath?"
Mama Joey sort of chuckled at this, "yes, I suppose I am."
"I'll be okay, I think. I'm so worried about it, though. I really want him to like me."
""Honey, I know. It's tough to live as a physical child in a world of teenagers, isn't it?"
Jubal nodded. She yawned and realized that the talking had helped.
"Well, off to bed with you, sleepy head. See if you can't get some rest."
Jubal nodded and then went up to her room. She lay down and was a sleep almost immediately.
She ended up in a dark blue peasant top and a pair of black stretch jeans. She used an Alice band in her hair and pronounced herself as good at she was going to get.
She looked at her chest and sighed. Still just he puffy nubs they'd been for a while now.
It wasn't really fair, but fairness had nothing to do with it. Oh well, she'd grow into her body. Or would it be that her body would grow into her mind. She'd survive.
It was so long before she could actually go over to Kirk's house, so she went and got breakfast, making sure she got nothing on herself.
He didn't remember any plans he had for the day. He'd kept it clear of his normal schedule clutter so he could be here. His sister would be playing Jubal. . .
A smile came to his face. That was the feeling. Jubal was coming over to his house.
Kirk got up and walked downstairs. Saturday was a weights day for him, so he went into the garage and started on the machines while he waited for his dad to get up. Even he wasn't crazy enough to try free weights without a spotter. He had to wait almost fifteen minutes this morning.
His parents still had a loving relationship, and while he didn't like to think of the mechanics of it all, he knew that the two of them must have had a late night last night.
"So, Kirk, where are we starting at this morning?"
"I figured that three hundred would be a good place. I almost got a single rep of that last weekend, and I've been getting a good workout during my weight training class."
"Don't be surprised if you still can't get it, Kirk."
"Hey, a guy needs goals."
While he'd been talking, Kirk set the bar on the uprights and began putting on weight. Three hundred pounds used up all of the weights that they had. If he went above that, he'd have to either get more weights, or think of something else completely.
His dad took his place at the head of the bench and Kirk went to it.
Up off the rack. Down was the easy part; just prevent the descent enough to keep it from crushing him. Then up. The strain in muscles. The burning feeling. His smile was more of a rictus grin as he put everything he had into getting that bar up to a full extension. There it was. He could still feel the strength in his arms but he wasn't going to push it. He racked the bar and looked up at his dad.
"Okay. Let's do a more reasonable one-fifty."
They went on like that for another twenty minutes with steadily decreasing weight. Pump until he could barely get the bar up, then reduce it a little. Pump until he could barely get the bar up then reduce it a little.
Saturday was his complete muscle failure day. Well, that's what he called hit. When he could barely lift the bar, which was only fifteen pounds, he knew he was done.
Then it was time for breakfast.
Breakfast was always a huge affair for him. He'd start by cooking himself a few fried eggs, and some bacon, some pancakes, juice, milk, oatmeal, and maybe a slice of toast or two with jam but no butter.
Then, if he was still hungry, he'd whip up a protein shake or two. Those were nasty, but they provided him with what he was using up.
He finished homework as soon as it was assigned in class, and when he couldn't finish it in class then he finished it as soon as he got home.
"Kirk, I want to hone my skills a bit before Jubal get's here. Play me a game?"
"Fine, squirt. I'll play you a game."
Like usual for them, Kirk grabbed a couple of pawns, mixed them up under the table so he didn't know which hand was which and then put his closed hands over the table.
His sister was the one who knew all the names of the chess moves and what a Kasparski offense was, but Kirk wasn't that bad for an amateur.
They began with knights after he moved his queen's pawn out to the center of the board. He could tell in three moves that his sister was a bit off her game, as she let a number of openings pass.
She lost a rook to a forked king.
"What's up?"
"I don't know if I can do this, bro."
"Why?"
"She's nice. And she's my age."
"Smarter than you, though."
"Well, maybe, but I don't want to chase her away. Maybe I should just let her win."
"You never chased Susan away. We dated a lot last year. She just didn't want to come back here. She was embarrassed losing to someone so much younger than her."
"What?"
"Yeah, sorry I never told you."
"Well, if she doesn't end up liking chess, then I guess she can be forgiven. Hey!"
"Checkmate."
"That's no fair, you cheated."
"It's perfectly fair to distract your opponent in a time of crisis."
"I demand a rematch!"
The doorbell rang. It was a little after nine at this point, and so he figured he knew who it had to be. Who he hoped it would be.
"Hey," she said as calm as could be.
"Come on in, Jubal. My sister is waiting for you."
Jubal smiled and then followed Kirk into the living room where Jane was indeed waiting for them.
Jubal put her game face on and sat down across from Jane.
Jane went through the basics quite well, but seemed to neglect a couple of things like pawn en passant and castling. Jubal really didn't feel bad about what she was about to do.
They played a few games, with Jubal losing both. And of course the additional rules came out on Jane's side of the board.
Jane was leaving her a huge opening. She was playing aggressively. And using her pawns a lot.
Jubal went for a nice fool's mate in the next game. Two moves and check mate.
"Well, that was a lucky break for you." Jane said after the game.
"Want to play again?"
Jane started using her knights heavily, but Jubal was ready for her. Early queen swap to throw her off balance, and a knight-bishop trap. That really flustered Jane.
"Wasn't that right?" Jubal asked.
"No, that was perfectly fine."
"Okay. Can we play again? This is fun."
This game was a lot longer. Jubal began with a pronged pawn attack. Queen's pawn up one, and king's pawn and queen's bishop's pawn up two.
Jane avoided a queen swap in the fifth turn and Jubal knew the game was hers. Jane was on the defensive and doing her best not to lose a war of attrition. It was turn twenty before Jubal put Jane out of her misery with a signature of hers when she was showing of: A king protects queen checkmate.
Basically, your king is just out of range of their king, next to your queen. It is an illogical move, but it works. The king can't move into mate even if it's from another king.
"Crap, I've been had."
"What?"
"You used that move against me on Chess.com a couple of weeks ago. You're tooyoung aren't you."
Jubal blushed.
"I knew it. Wow, you're really good. Play me again?"
"You're not mad?"
"Course not. I love a challenge."
"Can I make a suggestion?"
"Yep."
"A queen for a queen trade is always worth it."
"Huh? But without my queen. . ."
"Unless you only have a single piece and your king left, you can pretty much get checkmate with any combination of pieces."
"How do you get a mate with two bishops and a king?"
"King blocks movement and a corner."
"How do you get them into the corner without a forced draw?"
"Carefully. No, it's not easy, and the last time I had to do it, I took twenty-six moves to get him into the corner."
"Why didn't he just give you the game?"
"Some people feel a draw is better than a loss."
"Let's play again!" Jane was happy.
"You're not mad about the fool's mate?"
"Nah, I totally tried to screw you over initially and I deserved it."
"You're one weird kid, Jane."
"Speak for yourself, Jubal. We're the same age."
They began giggling and played another couple of games. Jubal still creamed Jane, but she didn't make any more really stupid mistakes.
"Sounds like you two are having fun."
"We are daddy. Jubal totally sharked me."
"So, you're Jubal, huh."
"Yes, I am."
"Aren't you the cutest little thing."
"Sir, I doubt your daughter puts up with you talking to her that way, and I'm her age, at least physically. I'm also a senior in high school, as you might have heard."
He stopped and blinked, and stood up to his full height. "I see. I thought that you were. . .well, I see that I was wrong. I apologize."
"Don't worry, I get underestimated all the time."
"Yeah, daddy. She just skunked me completely at chess."
"Oh, really? Care for a match?"
"Mr. Able, are you sure?"
"Who do you think originally taught my children how to play?"
Jubal smiled sweetly, "Their mom?"
"Oh, that's it. No holds barred, full contact Chess for you, missy."
Jubal let him have white, as she wanted that one move advantage to see where he went with his pieces. She realized in a few moments that she'd played him before. More than once actually. He was one of the few who would still accept a match with her on chess.com.
Each chess player has a method that they usually play under. They have their favorite moves, and their favorite maneuvers.
The problem was that if you just used the same gambits over and over again, you became predictable.
"I believe that's mate, Mr. Able."
"tooyoung?"
Jubal giggled at this.
"Now, if my family is done vetting her, can I spend some time with Jubal?" Kirk said as he came in the room.
Jubal made sure her hair band was still in its proper place and he came and sat down on the couch near her.
"Hi," he said uncomfortably.
"Hi, yourself."
"I like your top."
"Are we really going to do this? The whole awkward teenager thing? If so, I probably have a lot to do, like checking with my publisher to see if she likes the latest changes I made."
"You're an author?"
"Well, technically, no. I wrote a book, at the publisher's request, and she thinks it will be published, but we'll see."
"Well, so I know a soon to be published author. Anything I'd like to read?"
Jubal blushed.
"You didn't write erotica or anything did you, cause that would just be too weird."
"Oh no, nothing like that. It's just. Look, Kirk, before we go on, I need to talk to you about something."
"That sounds serious."
Jubal began to cry a bit and just nodded.
"Hey, don't cry." He tried to put an arm around her but she scooted to the other end of the bench.
"Kirk, I'm," she took a deep breath.
"I was born intersexed."
"Okay. . .which means what?"
"It's a somewhat generic term meaning that a child exhibits features of both sexes."
"You're not really a boy or something are you."
Jubal felt the tears in her eyes welling up again, "sort of. And sort of not."
"I really don't understand."
"Physically, I look like both, you know, down there."
Kirk sat up and scooted to the other end of the couch.
"That's. . ."
"Freaky? Weird? Gross?"
"Different, but yeah, it's all those too."
"I'll leave."
"Wait, don't leave. I need a moment to process."
Jubal sat there quietly and cried a bit. She knew she shouldn't have said anything, but she also didn't want to lie to Kirk.
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"I already told you. . ."
"No, you said physically you were both."
"Does it really matter? You're just going to reject me. . ."
"Jubal, for a smart person, you're acting really stupidly right now."
Jubal stopped and blinked at him, "Wha. . ?"
"Answer my question please, because it matters to me."
"I feel like a girl. I'm not sure I am one in the traditional sense, but I sort of more associate with that mindset."
Kirk got a little concerned look on his face.
"Wouldn't they normally fix this sort of thing at birth?"
"Some doctors would. But which one is right?"
"Well, they could do a genetic test, and then assign based on that."
"What happens if the child doesn't agree with the choice?"
"Doesn't matter, boys are boys and girls are girls."
Jubal gave Kirk a sad smile. "I'm sorry you believe that, Kirk. I'll be going now."
"So, you are a boy."
"No, Kirk. I'm a girl, from my brain to my body I'm a girl. I'm growing breasts and will likely have a period. I AM A GIRL! I'm leaving because your bigoted attitude toward transgendered individuals makes me uncomfortable."
"Why? If you're a girl why does it matter?"
"Because I spent a number of years presenting as a boy, Kirk. I'm even that way in a couple of my year books. It's part of my past, Kirk, but it is a part of me. If you can't handle that, that I can't be here."
Jubal rushed out of the house in tears. Why did she mention her publisher. Why did she write that stupid book. Her life would be over as soon as it came out, and people would read it. She would never be accepted as a normal girl, and all she wanted at that moment was to be a normal girl and cuddled with Kirk.
Jane came rushing into the room after Jubal left the house, "what did you do? She was perfect! She was smart, and not intimidated by dad, and she liked you."
"All my girlfriends have liked me."
"No, they usually wanted to be with the great big football star. It was never about you. You've never once had a girlfriend whose eyes lit up just because you entered a room, you big dork."
Kirk's mouth fell open.
"What are you waiting for, bro? Go after her."
"I can't," Kirk collapsed into himself, "I screwed up, Janie."
"It's not like you told her you never wanted to see her again."
"Almost that bad. She thinks I'm a bigot."
"What?"
"She's transgendered, whatever that means."
"Oh, really?"
"Don't act like you know any more than I do, squirt."
"Ok, you're right. Let's look it up."
"How could I be so stupid, Janie?"
"You didn't know."
"No, but she was trying to explain it to me and I wouldn't listen. It just goes contrary to what I think I know about the world."
"Then admit you're wrong."
"Easier said."
"Look, you know where she lives?"
"No. . .but George might."
"Can you invite him over?"
"I'm not setting you up with George, Jane."
"Aw."
Kirk dialed George on his cell.
"Kirk!? What in the hell did you do, man?"
"Um, so apparently you've heard. I really screwed up."
"You tore her heart out. I really feel like killing you right now."
"Is she there with you?"
"Yes, but she doesn't want to speak to you."
"Tell her I'm a fool. Tell her I'm sorry. Tel her I should have just listened and not said a word. Tell her I want another chance."
"No."
"Why not, George?"
"Because she's a friend of mine, Kirk. Look, you're sorry you made her cry, but are you really sorry for your words?"
"Um. . ."
"See, you don't know. You don't know your own hert right now, and you just want everything to be nice between the two of you.
"Jubal doesn't do nice, Kirk. She is all or nothing and has been that way for as long as I've known her. She was putting her entire self on the line with you. Opening herself up to hurt, and you hurt her."
"Thanks, Dr. Phil. Now let me talk to Jubal."
"Not going to happen, Kirk. I really hope you're aware of our hazing policy at school, since I would hate to see you off the team."
"George, wait."
"Don't, Kirk. . .are you sure?" This last was a little muffled, so someone was likely talking to George from the room.
"Hello, Kirk."
"Jubal, let me explain. . ."
"No. Not right now. You hurt me deeply, you know that? I know you didn't mean to, but you reacted emotionally. That was your instinct. You might change your attitude, Kirk, but you might not. I choose not to risk it right now."
"Jubal, give me a chance, please, one more chance? I was ignorant and stupid, and I'm a jerk, and I lo. . .ike you. A lot."
"Why do you deserve a chance?"
"Because I spent the last two hours realizing how stupid I was. I looked up information on the transgendered. I didn't know. Really."
"Then you should have listened."
"I know that."
"If you didn't listen on something this important, then how can I be sure that you'll listen on something that's not important at all."
"Truth? You don't. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. Just don't leave me. Please?"
"I'll have to think about it, Kirk. Okay?"
"Jubal. . ."
"No, I want to think about this. I need some time."
"Fine. I'll give you time. Will Monday be long enough?"
Jubal giggled softly at this. "I think Monday will be long enough. See you on Monday, Kirk."
"Does this mean. . ."
"No, but it means I'll tell you whatever I decide in person."
"So formal."
"Oh, you. You're silly you know that?"
"It comes from hanging out with young people all day long."
"I'll have you know I'm anything but a silly young person."
"You're right. You're wonderful."
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Jubal?"
She sighed, "see you on Monday, Kirk."
Kirk pumped his fist and said, "see you."
He hung up, but was happy for the rest of the day. Maybe he'd be able to salvage this situation yet