At Last ‘A Life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 1 - The Start

I work in the central office of a large Supermarket Company and mostly my colleagues are girls with the exception of two of us males.

The Office Manager used to be a man but he was made redundant when a new Managing Director was appointed who came in to improve operations and efficiencies and reduce the number of staff. Until that time I’d been the second in command in the office and was lined up to take over from my boss Mr Edwards when he retired. He left after a big argument because one of the younger girls was promoted above me into his position and he did not think that she was qualified for the job.

I had a University Degree whereas she had left school early and had worked her way up through one of the Supermarket stores about 20 miles away so she did have good knowledge of customer requirements. I didn’t argue much since I was always quiet and even though I was 27 years of age I still lived at home with mum.

Jessica who took charge was six months younger than me and shared a flat with two other girls so she was independent and confident and bossed her flatmates around. I’d been out with them on a number of occasions and was attracted to Sally who was very friendly and similar personality to me so we chatted a lot. Her other flatmate was a tall girl who was very friendly with Jessica. She is called Mary-Jo.

After Jessica took charge I found that my job changed as she introduced new procedures and I had less supplier and customer contact since she said that I was too nice and didn’t negotiate hard enough. She made me work with Anne who was quick and very smart and gradually my job deteriorated to making reports and filing and sometimes typing up proposals. I was not allowed to sign anything even if the ideas were mine and when suppliers visited I attended the meetings but mainly I sorted out the coffees and kept notes. I was feeling a little frustrated but I seemed to be trapped in this job as the business climate was poor and not many job vacancies about.

Then one Monday morning I was in the lift when the new Managing Director came rushing in. I’d held the door open for her because her arms were full. She dropped some papers and I quickly gathered them up and she smiled and thanked me. She asked me to help her so I carried one of her bags and a file of loose papers to her office on the top floor. I remember that she asked me my name and eventually I managed to mumble Chris. ‘Well thank you Christine I very much appreciate it’. I was dumbstruck and daren’t say anything. Why did she call me Christine?

On my way downstairs I called in the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. It was true that I do have very soft facial features with slight dimples in my cheeks and no sign of a beard. My hair is cut in a long style but not too long. My eyelashes are long and I do have thin brows but it wasn’t like I had make-up or anything? Did she do this on purpose?

I was wearing some black trousers and a mauve sweater that mum likes and silver cross on a chain that Gran gave me for twenty-first birthday that had fallen outside my sweater when I stooped to pick up the papers. I guess the worst thing was my man boobs because whilst I’m not particularly overweight they are obvious and I do get a lot of teasing in the office about needing to wear a bra.

I shook my head and then I smiled because I really did like that she’d called me Christine and often when alone at home I’d accentuated my feminine appearance and tried on my sisters clothes. She’d left a lot behind when she had taken an assignment in Hong Kong so I had her full wardrobe to play with.

I brushed my hair and went to my desk and carried on with my duties and nothing more happened until the afternoon when Jessica came up to me smiling and said she’d been with the boss and asked about ‘Christine’. She’d laughed and told Ms Harper her mistake who found it equally amusing. But after that the name stuck so all around the building I was known as Christine Taylor.

I started to respond to it and grew in confidence and my relationships in the office developed. I was treated equally and everybody chatted openly about all sorts of things without considering that I was actually male.

I was invited to a Hen night in Birmingham with all of them and asked if I’d try to be a little more feminine for the weekend. I was quite exited and accepted. I packed a case using clothes and underwear from my sisters room and put on a pair of her jeans and a bra and top that fitted me perfectly. Mum was away at an aunts for the week so on the Thursday evening I’d showered and removed what small amounts of body hair I had and brushed my hair until it shone. In the past few weeks I’d let it gow even more so I could style it using my sisters tongs that I put in the case.

So I left the house to go to meet my colleagues on the Saturday morning as Christine. The taxi driver never questioned me so I was confident that the weekend would be a big success.

Jules

Chapter 2
The Start of my Greatest Weekend

As I arrived at the railway station I realized that I was 45 minutes early and it worried me in case I saw someone that I knew. It was the first time that I’d ever been outside my home dressed like this and I almost decided to turn around and go back. But the taxi driver who was a young Asian man was getting impatient with me as I tried to unload my luggage so in the end I gave him a 5 pound note and he sped off before I could ask him to take me home again.

I was just looking for the taxi queue to return home when I saw Jessica and four girls waving to me. She was with Molly Jo and Sally her flat mates and 2 girls from the office Vicky and Lisa. Molly Jo had dropped them all off and her and Sally came towards me smiling. Molly Jo said that I looked very nice and that she was amazed at how feminine I looked. I hadn’t made that much of an effort with make up or with my hair but since I’d opted for one of my sisters favorite jackets and really bright colored scarf I did look a lot like my sister. Also it was a bit chilly so I’d worn some gloves as well.

I was flushed with embarrassment when Jessica eventually came over. She made it obvious to everybody that she was my boss and made some remarks about my incompetence and how I was so scatterbrained and that I was sure to have left something behind. She wasn’t really keen on my joining the party since I was likely to embarrass them. But Vicky told me that she’d been outvoted and I know that Anne had stood up for me. Vicky had said as a colleague I had a right to be there as Christine and she’d offered to help by persuading me to dress up for the hen night. Jessica had relented but it was only on the basis that I spent the whole weekend as Christine and that I had to be properly dressed.

By now I felt like the whole taxi queue were watching us and then another taxi arrived with Jane who was getting married the following week with Liz, her chief bridesmaid, and Anne. But Helen was missing so Jessica told us that she’d decided that Sally could join us and she was packed ready to go. Mary Jo left to drive home and then Jessica explained that Helen had called her and wasn’t able to come with us because of stomach cramps. We found out later it was boyfriend trouble but in any case I liked Sally and she agreed that she would double with me since we knew each other.

Anne had already booked 8 tickets on the internet as weekend special fares that we then collected and lucky for us they were in Special First so it would be comfortable and spacious. It meant we couldn’t share tables side by side but we didn’t mind. Anyway the idea was to start the celebrations by having a brunch on the way down and so Liz had brought 2 bottles of Cava and some champagne flutes and she and Helen had popped into Sainsbury’s to buy some smoked salmon and other goodies. I felt awful since I hadn’t brought anything so I went into the station supermarket shop to buy some sandwiches and chocolates.

I did then realize that I should have borrowed a bag and purse so I had somewhere to store things including my mobile phone. They were tucked inside one of my jacket pockets. Sally was looking to the sky and shaking her head saying, “Men”. So she produced a spare bag from her suitcase and we agreed we’d buy a purse first chance we could. Jessica turned her nose up at this suggestion and walked off.

By now I’d decided to ignore her because I was feeling more and more comfortable. I wished I’d had the courage before and thought of the opportunities I’d missed with my mum away regularly and my sisters wardrobe available anytime I wanted to explore my feminine side. Then as we walked through towards the platform Helen decided we should have a photo and she stopped us all whilst she arranged for a platform attendant to take it for us. I could have died since it was someone I used to go to school with. Luckily he didn’t see me very well since he was distracted by Helen and Liz fussing around him. I just I tried to hide as much as I could and wished I could sink into the earth. At one time he did seem to look me in the eye and I was sure he was going to say something.

The journey to Birmingham was fun. I enjoyed the joking and the laughter and the stories that were told. Jessica had many stories from her days in the Supermarket but mostly about how she was taking charge of situations. I realized that she was always looking for praise and admiration but she had in fact been very brave and had confronted shoplifters, dealt with customers collapsing, angry customers, difficult sales staff and all manner of people. I was beginning to realize I could never reach the standard she expected and she considered me over qualified and a bit of a wimp. I could see why she had been selected as the office Manager.

I sat in a seat of four with Sally and across us were Helen and Liz. They were crazy and started the Cava before we left the station. Helen was only 23 years of age so I felt she was very young to get married but she seemed to have fallen madly in love. She seemed to always accept me as one of the girls and treated me like a close friend. She was aware that Jessica liked to bully me and said she’d like to punch her on the nose.

After a while I needed to visit the loo and Sally insisted to come with me so we went into the handicap toilet for more space. I’d never thought I’d ever go to the loo with a girl but she was so casual about it. She just dropped her jeans and used the loo without any concern that I was standing there and I then I burst out laughing. I just giggled with her for ages until of course it was my turn and then I obviously had a shocked expression. She was very polite and just turned away whilst I dropped my jeans and sat down on the seat. It seemed natural and I could hardly stand whilst dressed like this.

After we washed our hands she then helped me to adjust my hair and applied some mascara and a little lip gloss. It did seem to finish things off and I felt even more feminine. I just hoped that my sister never found out I’d worn her clothes and yet I was pleased. I looked just like her and I wish she could have been with us since I missed her a lot.

But here I was on a great weekend trip dressed in her clothes and wearing her ankle boots. I loved the feeling of tights under the jeans and even though the extra layer made going to the loo a bit more difficult I realised this was something we girls had to accept.

Helen and Liz were much louder when we arrived back at our seats. They joked about us being lesbians having spent so much time in the loo together so loud in fact that the whole of the carriage could hear. Liz had such a high pitched laugh that everybody turned around. She was still great fun and never seemed to stop talking.

They chatted up the guard who was very embarrassed and he hardly seemed to check our tickets and were constantly up and down singing and playing tricks on sally and I. By the time we reached Birmingham we were all quite merry and ready for some fun.
Jessica took charge as usual and divided us into 2 groups of four for the taxi ride to the hotel. Naturally she opted for the other taxi that did upset me a little bit. Anyway in our taxi the taxi driver was younger. He seemed to look at me and I was petrified as I thought that he’d realized I was not female but Sally hit my arm and whispered not to worry as he just fancied me. I said she shouldn’t be so stupid.

It was sunny and much warmer than we expected so I removed my jacket. Sally said I needed to pad up my bust and suggested we should buy some inserts for the weekend during the afternoon when we went shopping for my bag and purse. I then put my jacket back on as I was a little concerned that I would be considered on the small side.

We ended up chatting about Sally’s ex boyfriend who had beaten her up that had put her off boys for a while. She said she’d felt safer around me and liked me even more as Christine than as Chris. She clung to me and we linked arms. I liked Sally a lot by now and was glad that Jessica had put us together in the same room. How different they were in personality.

When we arrived at the hotel some bell boys picked up our bags and carried them inside. It was nice to be treated like a lady as we entered the hotel and a kind gentleman held the door open for us. We all checked in and I used my credit card as security for our room. Somehow I felt it was my responsibility and luckily the card was issued as C Taylor so it didn’t seem to trouble the desk clerk.

I was taken aback to find a king size double bed in the room rather than 2 singles but Sally just laughed and said she didn’t mind if I slept on the floor. She was joking of course and selected the side furthest from the door in case anybody broke in to rob us She was giggling so I said they would come in through the window to make her think twice.

We unpacked quickly and Sally inspected my choice of clothes and whilst the nightdress and underwear passed her audit check she was not impressed with the trousers and top that I’d brought along that she said were too staid. She insisted we’d go to a shopping to find a dress and some shoes and rang Jessica to tell her we were going out.

The girls had been thinking about a sauna and a swim and that’s what they decided. Jessica said that and would meet us later when we got back so we took a taxi to a shopping mall. I was trying to keep up with Sally as she searched for something more dressy and eventually we ended up in Next Retail because she felt we could buy all I needed there so not to delay us. I was in dreamland! As we looked at the racks of clothes it was like a paradise. I’d often wanted to wonder freely in a ladies shop and here I was with Sally offering suggestions.

We took about 5 items into the changing room and she pushed me hard through the doorway and into a cubicle. I hadn’t padded out my bust so she placed some tissues in my bra that was enough to see the effect of each item. We settled on an animal print long sleeve mid thigh dress in Jersey material that I really liked but I couldn’t resist to also buy another short sleeve dress and leggings. We bought a pair of black square toe court shoes with a high heel and some flat shoes to go with the leggings.

We then purchased 2 bra and pant sets and some really expensive silky shear dark tights and of course a black patent shoulder bag, make-up kit and a soft leather purse.

Then Sally spotted some bust enhancers and so our mission was finally accomplished. Total bill was twice what I expected to spend but luckily my credit card was good for it. We hugged and then decided to call it a day and go into Starbucks. I was really on a high by now. I settled for tea in fact since I had struggled a little when trying on the clothes and so I felt I needed to take more care. Sally rang Jessica and she said they’d be waiting in the bar for an early bird drink since it was 2 for 1 Happy Hour.

We got back to the hotel bar around 5pm and everybody wanted to see my purchases. It was so strange to be the centre of so much attention that I never experience as Chris. I was conscious that I was stealing the limelight from Helen so we focused on the cocktails and I tried to divert attention each time someone wanted to look in my backs. Jessica had a very jealous expression on her face and I realized I should have gone straight to our room instead of meeting them in the bar. .

Luckily it was soon 6pm and time to prepare for the evening. Since Sally and I had not showered we left the others and they decided to take one more drink. Really I was so excited that I wanted to look at my new purchases. I gave Sally a very special hug as we closed the door and thanked her for this wonderful support. She kissed me lightly on the lips and whispered that I was very welcome.

To be continued…

Chapter 3 An evening to remember

Sally stepped back and smiled. She had surprised me with the kiss and I was speechless for a few moments and then I returned her smile. She wasn’t drop dead gorgeous but she had a look about her that most girls envied and she attracted a lot of admiring glances from men. Compared to the first time that I’d met her she now seemed so much more relaxed and I was so happy for her. She squeezed my hand and I felt that I’d found a best friend. This was a new experience for me since friends are few and far between and I’d never really met anybody who I wanted to share my thoughts and activities with. Yet here was a girlfriend who seemed to like me and I didn’t know why she would even look at me dressed in this way as Christine. Maybe she could relate to me better than she could if I was Chris.How weird was this situation?

She said that she’d enjoyed our afternoon together and that I was so sweet and innocent that she’d wanted to help me especially since Jessica seemed to bully me and was more interested in humiliating me than in letting me join the party and having fun. I must admit that I couldn’t understand how she was a friend of Jessica since they were different personalities so I asked her if she’d known her for long.

Sally told me that she didn’t really like Jessica too much and that she’d met her through her friend Mary Jo who she’d shared a flat with. They grew up together and were friends at school.. Mary Jo and Jessica had some form of relationship in the past but Sally wouldn’t say anymore and said she’d tell me more later when we had more time. I sensed that the three of them were not comfortable with sharing accommodation and tolerated the situation. My opinion of Mary Jo was based on my meetings as a group where I was in my normal attire as Chris. She didn’t particularly seem worried that a male was encroaching but then I don’t really know if she thought I was straight or gay or if she had any interest at all. She was taller than the other girls and had a very active social life and was keen to keep in shape at a gym and by playing tennis and badminton. Quite the opposite of Jessica who is mostly a workaholic and different to Sally who is more of a shopaholic than a workaholic.

Right now we had to get ready and I looked forward to the chance to chat later. She hugged me and thanked me for being her friend and trusting her advice as an expert shopper so she made me laugh. I said it was my first time so who better to teach me.

We agreed she use the bathroom first whilst I unpacked my new clothes. She was soon undressed down to bra and pants and had no fear to walk around like this in front of me. She took care to use just half of the bath crystals leaving the remainder for me. The smell was nice and I watched as she removed her pants and bra and entered the water. She was so slim and her skin was very smooth and pale but she looked quite funny in a bath cap. She smiled, winked at me and put out her tongue with no apparent concern that I’d seen her naked. She seemed naturally slim and always could eat a lot and I envied her firm body and slim waist. Her legs were slightly muscular, much more than mine, due to the training she’d had in ballet and later as an ice skater. She had a wonderful bum that she said was due to many hours of ice skating and she’d reached a high standard before her friends split up for university so she’d stopped training. I wished I’d done more exercise like that.

As I unpacked I turned the TV to a music channel and Lady Gaga was singing. What a character she was and Sally likes her a lot so she shouted and asked me to turn up the volume and she started singing. I unpacked the bags taking care to hang the dress. I couldn’t wait to try it on. Then Sally called for my help since she had not been able to reach the bath towel that I took over to her and wrapped around her as she stood up in the bath. Wow I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was soft and warm and pink. She stepped aside and rinsed the suds away and then offered to run the bath for me. I felt strange and I wanted to kiss her to kiss me but I chickened out and turned to prepare the bath.
I was shyer than Sally so I decided to wear one of the dressing gowns. Sally sensed my nervousness and went into the bedroom to prepare her clothes.

She made a pot of tea and brought me a cup whilst I soaked in the bath. It felt so nice to listen to the music playing and to sip my tea and I could hear Sally singing again and she was dancing around. I’d never seen her relaxed like this before. It was like she felt safe and had managed to forget the bad experience of her boyfriend. I was so happy that she was making progress and hoped that I could help her more.

As I stood in the bath to dry myself I glanced across towards the mirror. I looked just like my sister even though I had no breasts save my man boobs. I wished that this one evening I could have a bust and truly experience my time as Christine rather than being an imposter.

I brushed my hair back and dried myself thoroughly. Sally came into the bathroom again and kissed my shoulder that caused me to shiver. I had the strangest feeling inside again and was full of mixed emotions. I was feeling feminine but I was attracted to Sally that seemed more natural for me as Chris rather than as Christine. She gently slapped my arm and went back into the bedroom.

Then we dressed together. Sally helped me with my new underwear and fitted the breast enhancers. Now I had this natural cleavage that appeared from nowhere and I paraded around the room looking in the mirrors and Sally couldn’t resist taking a few photographs. She was giggling like mad chasing me.

Then there was a knock on the door and I rushed into the bathroom whilst Sally answered. It was Jessica who wanted to borrow Sally’s curling tongs. She was a little bit loud since they’d all had a few drinks and she asked where I was and pushed the bathroom door open to find me. ‘Wow there what have we here?’ she’d said looking at me hiding as best I could behind the dressing gown that I’d picked up. ‘Well now I can see you aren’t a man at all so you’re no good to us tonight.- Mmmmm not bad boobies — where did those come from?’

She shook her head and said that dressed like this it looked like I needed a good sorting out and that she’d find someone to do it for me. She then said she’d talk to me later . She left to get ready and instructed us to meet with the others in the lobby in thirty minutes time. Then she turned to me and said ‘don’t be late!’ I wasn’t sure about her attitude towards me since she seemed to be aggressive but at the same time she clearly was more interested in me as Christine than she ever had been when I was plain Chris. Sally said that I should take care incase she had some mischief planned and that she’d stay close to me.

We finished dressing and Sally produced her camera once again. Even without make up I knew that I’d have no trouble being accepted as female. Sally helped me blow dry my hair and encouraged me to make an appointment for having it styled the following week at a friends salon so I accepted. I couldn’t believe how well the dress fitted and how comfortable it was. Sally just whistled and then helped me by applying make-up that really completed my new look. I was loving every moment of this new experience. Sally had a striking blue single shoulder dress with black leggings and opted for flat shoes so that I was slightly taller in my heels. I insisted to take some photos of her since she looked so beautiful.

We sprayed ourselves, packed our shoulder bags and then hugged. Then it was off to meet the gang.

As we walked along the corridor towards the lift we passed two guys who were clearly impressed. I was unsure and looked towards the ground so Sally took my arm and whispered to me .’see they fancied you’.

We were last down to the foyer and once again I seemed to be the centre of attention. I tried to deflect the comments and focus attention to poor Jane who was wearing a big ‘Getting Married’ badge and who looked really nice in a black dress and 6” stilettos. I wondered how she might dance and walk on these as the evening progressed. She is so sweet and so slim and had lost about half a stone in preparation for the wedding. I hoped that she’d not be too ill later to spoil her dress and that we wouldn’t look like a drunken female gang attracting bad publicity.

Jane had three elder brothers so she’d been the baby of her family and her brothers were always around to protect her if she went to bars and nightclubs. She’d always wanted a sister and Liz was her best friend since they were 6 years old so they’d become very close. Both of them were full of fun and giggled a lot. Liz was also engaged to be married but had decided to wait 2 years so her parents could save up. Jane had no worries on that score and seemed to be rushing into her wedding without being concerned about cost or even if she’d met Mr Right.

Anne had again been ‘Little Miss Organiser’ and she’d arranged a table at an Italian restaurant close by. Jessica had approved her choice even though she’d wanted Chinese food and decided we’d walk rather than take taxis. Then she insisted that everyone would share the costs equally and that she’d hold the kitty. So we all gave her the first 50 pounds of the night. We had one drink in the bar and then off we went to find the restaurant.

To be continued…

Chapter 4 A night to remember

It was 15 to 20 minutes before we found De Marcos and we were all feeling the cold by the time we arrived. None of us wanted to carry coats all evening since we would be drinking in a few bars. So trust Jessica to toughen us up expecting us to walk in the cold.

Vicky called her the sergeant major! She knows Jessica well enough to poke fun at her and even in the office at work she stands up for everybody. She is a bit older than the rest of us and was recently divorced having been married young at the age of eighteen. She has a relationship with one of the senior Managers so maybe that’s what gives her the extra courage.

Walking outside in heels and hose was a nice sensation for me and I didn’t mind at all. Walking with a group of girls made it even more of a pleasure. The click of my stiletto heels on the pavement made me shiver more than the cold wind. Vicky did wear a silk scarf so she felt more comfortable than the rest of us. Liz was showing all she’d got so she was almost blue by the time we arrived looking windswept and cursing Jessica for being too skinny to part with the kitty for a taxi.

We waited at the reception desk with Jessica trying to find the booking that Anne had made and took it in turns to go to the bathroom to freshen up. We were still early so we moved to a small bar whilst our table became vacant. We moved to the corner of the bar so we could have 4 stools between the eight of us and the barman thought it was his birthday and quickly came to serve us.

He gave us each a glass of complementary sparkling wine and introduced himself as Alberto. He said he was Italian ( but he had a Brummie accent!!) and he said he would give us his personal service and extra special treatment. Lisa said yes please and could he service all of us which made him blush. But he did a great job topping up our glasses.

I let Sally have the seat in front of me (as a gentleman?) but she then gave it up to Jane and we both then stood to one side of her with a good view of the rest of the bar to eye the bar talent as Sandy said. I just mumbled ‘I don’t know what you mean’ and she laughed at me and said ‘Go for it Girl!!’

The other advantage was that it allowed Jane prime position to enjoy the barman’s charm. Poor Jane but it was her night. I remember that I wished it was my night and then I thought what a strange thing to say to myself. I was beginning to worry about myself. What will mum and sis think if they find out I had this experience and these feeling?

Jessica then took charge again and insisted that Sally sit on her stool so that she could move to the side of me. She called the barman over to ask him to refresh our glasses for a toast to the ladies and asked him if he fancied me. I felt like I was going to pee my pants when she told him no chance since I was unavailable and preferred women. She said he had no chance to get into my panties but he was quick witted and said he’d be focusing on her anyway since she looked more his type — Class AA — always available!!

He smiled at me and everybody laughed. Jessica laughed too but mostly through her teeth I think and then whispered that she was sorry to be awful but she enjoyed teasing me and she wanted to see what life is really like for the female of the species. I was determined not to get angry or embarrassed and wished she wouldn’t try to make fun to spoil the night for everybody. In the end I just stuck out my tongue and screwed up my nose.

Anne was watching all this so as one of my protectors she came over with the wine list to distract Jessica and they set about finding some reasonable ‘plonk’ I escaped and stood by Jane and Sally. Jane held my hand and said she was proud of me and thought that I was a good sport. She was really enjoying herself and she was amazed at my transformation to Christine.

Lisa sneaked up and put her arms around us and hugged us and then started to sing ‘I’m getting married in the morning’. We all joined in so by now the whole bar area was aware that we were celebrating Janes wedding and all sorts of comments were made.

A few guys were at the other end of the bar and they sent over a cocktail for Jane. She was challenged to stand up and try to down it in one so we all in a circle and cheered her. She is only small but she emptied the glass and the guys all clapped loudly and whistled.

Two of them came over and introduced themselves and I suddenly felt extremely conspicuous. Anne pushed me between the stools that Sally and Jane were occupying to protect me whilst they chatted and told us where they were going later. Jessica shouted for them to watch out for us because we were hungry for some real men and would be available later. Luckily by that time our table was ready.

I sat as far away from Jessica as I could next to Sally and Lisa. Jessica was at the end of the table so that she could be the centre of attention controlling the waiters and ensuring our glasses were always full. As the ‘bride to be’ Jane was in the middle on one side of the table with Liz in the middle on the other side as her chief bridesmaid and special friend.

The restaurant was very busy and noisy since there were 2 other parties of eight people either side of us as well as lots of other tables of four and six celebrating or eating before the bars got busy and the town livened up. Marco himself came out to greet us and presented us with 2 bottles of wine. So by now we were all becoming really drunk and very loud.

I was worried that I might give myself away if I was ill.
So again Anne took charge and said we needed food. She ordered the first courses of anti pasta and pizzas to share between us to ensure that we were eating some bulk food because we were drinking wine. I tried to dilute mine whenever I got the chance. Anne knew we would end up drunk if somebody didn’t take charge to control the situation so she took the responsibility of ‘Mother Hen’.

We shared some pasta dishes and a large risotto and to be honest nobody much remembered what we ate because we were laughing and talking and drinking so much. Jessica kept standing up to make a toast and then fumbling her words and falling back into her seat. Sally was smiling at me and kept saying who’d work for a boss like that.

The waiters were very patient and helpful. I thought one was very shy so I tried to be especially nice to him and thanked him each time he delivered courses or removed plates. Maybe he was a person like me that didn’t get chance to go out much and was shy with women.

He was quite good looking and I was wondering what he would say if he knew about me. He was reasonably tall and quite fit and when I got up to use the bathroom he made an effort to help me and show me the way. Jessica was watching out of the corner of her eye and seemed jealous.

There was a queue in the bathroom and I was bursting but I had to wait in line. Most girls were in pairs and were preening themselves. There were only two cubicles so by the time it was my turn I was really desperate and could hardly contain myself any longer. I never had to wait in line like this in the mens bathroom.

By now I was used to sitting down and it was becoming natural. I’d tucked myself in before we left the hotel and it was necessary to free myself. I thought about shaving in future and having a more permanent fix that would remove any bulges. Still the panties were fine for now and it wasn’t as if the girls weren’t aware of my situation. But I wanted the added security in future just in case.

It was still busy when I came out of the cubicle but I managed to wash my hands and freshen up a little. I took care not to leave my bag open just in case my purse was stolen. In it was my driving license and my credit cards. Liz and Jane came in and I left them chatting to two other girls about weddings and wedding dresses.

As I left the bathroom I was confronted by one of the guys who had been at the bar earlier. He introduced himself as James and asked if I lived in Birmingham. It was fairly obvious that he did but I smiled and said no and tried to pass him. He wasn’t going to be ignored so I had to speak to him and was terrified in case my voice was obvious. I said we were visiting for the weekend and had plans for a good night to celebrate Janes forthcoming marriage.

He carried on the chat and told me where they were going and game me 2 introductory discount cards in case I changed my mind and fancied a dance later. I was a bit taken aback but luckily Jane and Liz came out of the bathroom and saved me.

They were laughing at me as we went back to the table and told everybody that I’d ‘pulled’. Sally looked at me whilst the others were joking about it and asked if it was true. I told her what happened and she asked me to be very careful.
I had no intention of taking him up on his offer but I must admit that he was good looking and very confident.

They soon left and so we decided we should move on to a bar close by the restaurant that had music downstairs and a live band upstairs. Vicky had been there before and said it had an admission charge but it was a great place to celebrate.

Jane paid the bill and wouldn’t take no for an answer so that called for another toast and another song.
Then we moved out of de Marcos and on to the bar.

To be continued….

Chapter 5
The Night Goes On

We took 2 taxis to the bar that wasn’t the one we expected. In fact it was a big surprise because it was a famous and popular Gay nightclub called the Nightingale Club but I’d never heard of it. Jessica had been before with Mary Jo and Sally so it was their recommendation. We had the tickets and when I looked at mine I realized it was the same bar that James had mentioned with the discount tickets. They’d be there I was sure.

We still had to queue and then Jessica said to me that I could now feel at home and needed worry about feeling out of place. I didn’t like her unkind remarks but Sally stepped in and said that many customers were straight and it was a great venue to celebrate. In was beginning to suspect that maybe Jessica wasn’t so straight as she likes to make out and that maybe she had been coming on to me as well as being unkind. Sally on the other hand did seem to be a girly girl and I felt she befriended me because our personalities were similar.

Jane and Liz and Lisa were really getting excited by this time and were dancing in the street until ‘Mother Hen’ took control in case were stopped at the door. She was also chatting up one of the doormen to ensure they were friendly. There were some people in fancy dress in the queue who were also celebrating a 21st birthday with a few guys in drag with big false bosoms and false bottoms.

We went in and were lucky to have a reserved table in the seating area close to the bar. We had a complementary bottle of champagne and eight glasses so the evening got off to a great start and we were in prime position for the bar and the dance floor. The club was very busy already and it was only 9-30pm. Jane was ‘in the mood for dancing’ and she was the first to go to the dancefloor with Liz. Looking around I could see lots of people of all types and girls with girls as well as boys with boys. Everybody looked like they knew how to party and I was amazed and wished I’d found a place like this closer to home.

Then Sally asked me to dance with her and we went to join Jane and Liz who by this time were dancing with 2 men who had split them up. It was 2 of the guys from De Marcos so I looked around to see if James was there but no sign of him. Sally was in a good mood and she was a great dancer. She encouraged me to relax and follow the music and after a while I was getting the hang of it.

Then to my horror we were split up by two women who were a bit macho and clearly were regulars at the club. I couldn’t believe that I was dancing as Christine and taken for a girl by a lesbian partner who introduced herself as Mitch. I think her second name was Mitchel so see opted for her nickname and I never found her real name. We had a couple of dances before Sally excused us to go to the bathroom.

As we entered the bathroom she was killing herself with laughing and she asked if I had enjoyed to be a girly girl with my new friend. I was laughing so much that I felt that I would wet myself so I dashed into a cubicle. We freshened up and then Jessica came in. She said that I should be careful not to get too involved because my mother wouldn’t like it if I became pregnant because I wasn’t on the pill.

The joke received some mild laughter from Sally and I before we went back to the table. I kissed Sally as we left the bathroom and said that she was the best friend a girl could ever have. I knew we would keep this friendship when I saw her reaction. I felt so happy to be with her and was glad we were sharing a room.

The drink was flowing at our table and several shots appeared. Mother Hen was clucking around and fussing over Jane so she took it easy and ensured that nobody was mixing our drinks or adding anything else. The music was fantastic and the club was really alive. So we were soon back on the dance floor as Lady Gaga was on. Sally was really dancing by now and we were hugging each other. Jessica joined us and she dragged Liz along. She made it clear that she wanted to dance with me. I felt this night was the best night I’d ever had in my life and I never wanted it to end.

Jessica leaned over and whispered into my ear e at the end of the dance. She said that I made a beautiful woman and that she was sorry that she’d teased me. She gave me a hug and asked if I was enjoyed myself and all I could do was just nod like a dummy.
By now my feet were aching so I had to kick off my shoes. It was such a relief and I wasn’t used to heels. Now Jessica was a few inches taller than me with the extra height of her heels and sh bent over and kissed me full on the lips. I just froze before relaxing and responding. I couldn’t do anything else without risking causing a scene. I did enjoy it but I looked across at Sally who looked down to the floor in disappointment. I decided to return to the table at the end of the dance and one of the butch girls took my place with Jessica.

I said that I was sorry to Sally but she said not to be stupid since we were just friends and that she wasn’t envious. I felt bad so I held her hand and we hugged a little before we were pulled to the bar to drink a toast to Jane.

Then I noticed James was at the other end of the bar and he looked straight into my eyes.

To be continued…..

Chapter 6
The Choices

Sally grabbed my arm and asked if I’d noticed James and his friends were across the bar. Vicky and Lisa were chatting to them and I froze. I couldn’t help but look across and James kept turning to look towards us.

Sally just said ‘Christine please take care,’ and she urged me to go to the bathroom with her. She said she need to show me something so I went with her. She had her camera in her bag and she quickly scanned the memory card. I was horrified because she showed me some photographs of her in hospital with her right eye closed and bruises over her cheeks and a swolen jaw. Her nose was bloody and she had stitches in her eyebrow. ‘This is what happens if you resist and your man is an animal!!’

I gave her the biggest hug I could muster using all my strength and tears flooded from her eyes. I kissed her lips and she hung tightly to my waist. I could only say that I was so sorry and to beg her to believe that this man had been an animal and wasn’t representative of normal human beings. We were clinging together for ages and several girls came in and out of the bathroom not caring because of the venue since lots of girls were whispering or huddled together. Then she said ‘Please Christine be my friend since I love you so much.’

Then Jessica and Vicky came in since they’d heard about Sally crying and being comforted by someone. Jessica looked at me and asked what I’d done to upset her and she twisted my arm until I screamed. Tears came to my eyes and I asked her to let go and Sally started hitting her on the arm until she finally released her grip. I called her names and Sally pushed herself between us. Then Vicky interjected so I told her what had happened. Next thing Anne is coming through the door as Mother Hen telling us all to calm down before things get out of hand. She was right that it was the drink and the excitement getting to everybody and we shouldn’t spoil the night.

I told Jessica that I hated her and that she was too cruel and then she said she was really sorry and begged me to go to dance with her whilst things calmed down. I couldn’t resist telling her that these last few months she’d given me a hard time and I didn’t know if I could forgive her. Then she said that she did this because she didn’t like Chris but as Christine she felt I was much more normal and more confident.

My mascara had run but poor Sally was even worse so I quickly repaired the damage and left Vicky and Anne looking after Sally. I gave Sally a kiss on the cheek and followed Jessica to the dance floor. I could see Jane and Liz chatting to James and his friends who were occupying our seats so I just waved and smiled. The music was slower so Jessica held my hand and then put her arm around me. She said that she’d turn over a new leaf and promised to make things up to me. She asked me if I’d like to go to work as Christine for a while and if so then she’d arrange everything. I said that I had to decide if I could face my mum and sister first but I did thank her anyway.

I really hoped that she could be more kind because my life had become unbearable the last few weeks. We had two more dances together and then we went to sit down.

The guys had gone to the bar and Sally was back so I sat next to her and held her hand. She made me laugh because she said that she’d wet her knickers a little bit when Jessica grabbed me. She said that had proved that I wasn’t like Dale the boyfriend who had beaten her up and she whispered that I was showing some cleavage so better cover up before the guys came back. My man boobs had certainly been useful to help me create my image as Christine and for once I was grateful I had them. They were feeling really sensitive tonight and I wanted to touch them and wished I could experience the pleasure of being massaged and kissed.

James looked at me and winked and I smiled back. I thought I’d better try to talk to him but I didn’t know what to say. Should I tell him that I was Chris or stay as Christine. I finally decide to go to him and excused myself. Sally squeezed my hand and said ‘Please take care’. He was happy to see me get up and offered to buy me a drink so I accepted a glass of white wine. Then he said ‘cheers to the most beautiful girl in the club’. I was embarrassed and couldn’t say anything. He took my hand and put my drink on the bar alongside his and asked his friend Drew to take care of them. How could I dance with another man?

I felt rooted to the floor until he gently pushed me and patted my bum. He whispered that he wanted to make everybody jealous and that he would fight of any girl that chased me. I laughed at his joke but it was not such a stupid thing to say in the circumstances. Who would have thought last week that I’d be in a Gay club in Birmingham having a fantastic weekend and making new friends. Who would have thought that I’d find a new side to my personality. Who would have thought I’d be best friends with my line Managers flatmate or sharing a bed with her? Mmm that was another challenge to come.

I had two lively dances with James before the lights dimmed a little and the music slowed. I’d managed to look like I could dance a little bit with the fast music but I’d only ever danced with girls with slow music. James put his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I was very nervous and looked across at Sally who did a Japanese style V wave as a sign that I’d succeeded. I blew a soft kiss to her and then James hugged me more closely. His groin was pressing against my thigh and I had a strange feeling and my panties were becoming a little uncomfortable. I wasn’t supposed to be taking this so far.

He was getting more exited and then he leaned over and kissed me. I turned away at first but he persisted. I couldn’t stop him as he pressed his lips to mine and I could smell his cologne and feel his breath and the stubble of his light beard.
Then two of his friends interrupted us and pulled him away saying his girlfriend was looking for him. He pulled away and left me standing there. I looked across at the bar to where 3 girls were glaring to me and he was obviously embarrassed. It looked like his girlfriend slapped his face and they disappeared somewhere. The other two girls were still staring at me so I hurriedly sat down.

Sally, Vicky and Jessica had seen everything. I tried to calm down and Anne got me a fresh drink from the bar. Jessica said ‘I warned you to be careful’. She said not to go to the bathroom without her and she’d ensure that there was no trouble.

By now it was about 11-30pm and the place was packed. Jane, Liz and Lisa were in the middle of the dance floor with three other girls and all of them were singing to the music at the top of their voices.

The next thing I knew was a glass of iced water being thrown over me and soaking my face and chest. ‘You Bitch!!!’

To be continued…

Chapter 7
OMG - What a night!!

I screamed as if I was drowned in acid because the water was cold and it came as such a shock. The few moments that passed seemed like several minutes and I felt as if I was under a waterfall or in a cold shower. Sally told me later that my scream was ear piercing and very girly. The shock lasted ages because in all my life nobody had ever hit me or done anything so bad to me before. I was never a person who would cause trouble and I’d walk away from any confrontation.

I can remember seeing Jessica jump up and grab the angry girl whohad thrown the water. It was James girlfriend and she was backed up by two of her friends. Jessica didn’t seem to have any fear at all and she grabbed the girls wrist with one hand and pulled he hair with the other knocking her off balance so that she could push her onto the table.

A few of our glasses were knocked over and poor Sally got the worst of it as wine spilled over her. Then she screamed as if it was boiling water that had been spilled and Anne jumped up to try to calm things down. Jessica held on tight until two barmen arrived quickly followed by the club security men.

Tears flooded from my eyes but nobody could tell because of the water and I suddenly panicked and realized that we might be arrested or reported and I would be found out. The water didn’t do any damage except to my make-up and my lap was wet as if I’d peed myself. I was trembling but I wasn’t cold and Anne said I looked like I was going to faint so Jessica let go of mad woman and must have caught me before I fell over.

The next thing I new was seeing a bright light and some strangers looking over me. I was in the office of the Manager on a couch and Sally was sitting in a chair covered in a blanket.

I could hear Jessicas raised voice and saw Jane and Liz standing in the doorway. Anne was talking to a policeman with Vicky and Lisa. Jessica saw my eyes open and came to stop me standing up. Aparently I wasn’t very ladylike laid on the couch so they were all frightened in case I shouted out in my male voice.

Luckily Anne had persuaded the management and the policeman that it was a misunderstanding and the other girls had been asked to leave. James was outside the door and wanted to speak to me to ensure that I was alright so after a sip of sweet tea I came to my senses and reached for my handbag to check my face and see the extent of the damage.

Anne had done a good job of cleaning me up so I was able to quickly tidy up and put on some fresh lippy. What was I doing in this mess? What will my mum say if she finds out? Who are these crazy people that have suddenly burst into my life? What to do?

I stood up and went to Sally to ensure she was OK and I gave her a long hug. We didn’t need to speak we just smiled at each other and I wished we were alone to just hold each other. She opened the blanket and showed me that her best top was a mess and I just kissed her sweetly as I could in front of everybody.

Then I turned to Jessica and she put her arms around me and asked if I was feeling better. I burst into tears and thanked her for being so alert and jumping to my rescue. She took out some tissues and helped me to dry my eyes and said she’d always be there for me. I was feeling confused with all the care and attention and the more I received the more I seemed to want.

The policeman asked if I was alright and said we were all free to leave now since probably the situation was calm but he recommended we stayed for half an hour and perhaps I could convince the boyfriend to leave and go see his girlfriend.

I then went to see James and he came towards me as he saw me then he held my hand and walked me to a seating area on the balcony where it was quiet enough to talk.

He apologized and said that he’d not been able to stop his girlfriend who said she was going to the bar. He’d tried to break up with her two weeks before but she persuaded him not to leave her. I thought I should tell him that I wasn’t who I seemed to be and thought it might be the easiest time to do it as we were in a Gay bar. But something stopped me because I didn’t want another scene or to risk him getting angry.

He gave me his mobile phone number and his name and address and asked me to call him tomorrow before I went home. Reluctantly I gave him my mobile number but decided I shouldn’t give my address. Then he kissed me for the second time that night and I tried feebly to pull away. But he just looked into my eyes and I froze whilst he kissed me again.

I was becoming really confused with my emotions and couldn’t believe I was doing this. Then Jane came over to us and asked me to come back as the party was being spoiled. So I shrugged at him and he just said he’d see me later and hoped I got home safely.

We all went back to the bar and Liz insisted to buy a bottle of champagne to toast the bride so that cheered everybody up since Liz was not known for her generosity. We soon were all smiling again and by now it was 1-30am so we decided to have one last dance before returning to the hotel.

We all went to the dance floor together and split into pairs. Jessica insisted to dance with me and Sally and Jane danced together and Vicky paired with Lisa and Liz with Anne. Trust the lights to dim again so Jessica asked if I wanted to lead but she was just joking. She didn’t say anything except that she felt I made a beautiful woman and hoped that I could grow to like her in time.

She said that she hoped I wasn’t too annoyed that she’d been promoted above me and that she’d see me on Monday to sort a few things out.

Then at the end of the dance we all agreed to leave and we timed it perfectly before the taxi queue got too long. Sally linked arms with me and I smiled at her since it seemed like sh’d been the one who was attacked.

When we arrived back at the hotel we all decided to stay in bed and check out as late as possible that was 12 noon. Nobody was interested in getting up for breakfast and Sally and I decided to order some room service for 9-30am.

As the door closed we turned to each other and just laughed until we were both crying and holding each other. Despite all the trouble we’d had a great time and Sally said I was her new best friend and hoped we could see each other a lot. I just wanted to hold her and I told her that she was a very special person and that I wished I’d met her a long time ago. I was trying not to get too serious with her but she looked so beautiful with her puppy dog eyes that I felt I should enjoy this night as her best friend and be Christine.

We undressed and used the bathroom to tidy up and remove our make-up. I put on my nightdress and Sally had some beautiful silk pyjamas and was first into bed. I turned off the light and we snuggled up to each other and then it wasn’t long before we were kissing and I could feel her nipples pressing hard into my chest. I stroked them gently and she whispered that she loved me. I thought about what I should do. I was feeling exited but I didn’t want to have the feelings of a man that night. I wanted to stay as Christine forever and to be loved rather than to go back to being Chris.

Then Sally kissed my ears and then stroked my man boobs and I felt my own nipples stiffen and I so wanted her to kiss them. We hugged and kissed for ages and eventually I realized that my panties were wet.

At first I thought it was my problem until Sally placed my hand inside her pyjama bottoms to feel her softness and I realized she’d become so aroused that she’d been exited several times.

We were hugging each other and I felt myself falling gently to sleep. But we both jumped as there was a sharp knock on the door.

To be continued…..

At last ‘a life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 8 So much attention.

Sally jumped out of bed and ran to the door to ensure that it was dead locked properly. Then she looked through the spy-hole to find out who it was. At first she said nobody was there but then another knock. ‘It’s Jessica outside’ she said and opened the door to let her in.

Jessica apologized for disturbing us and said she couldn’t sleep without knowing that we were both ok but also because Anne was snoring loudly and she’d not been able to stop her short of suffocating her with a pillow. She sat on our bed and asked if we could have a chat for a while because her mind was racing. Sally made some tea using what was left of the free sachets. It was Earl Grey or Jasmine but I like them both anyway.

Sally asked Jessica why she was so mean to me all the time and that she liked me. Jessica said that she was jealous of my education and felt inferior to me at work so it was her way of trying to prevent me from showing my skills and capability. She’d always had to fight to be recognized and then promoted and Ms Harper had given her a chance because she saw women as better Managers and they were usually a lot more astute and responsible. She was realizing that the job was too difficult for her so she needed time to gain experience and in that time needed to ensure nobody else threatened her position.

The tea was wonderful and we all needed it after drinking so much wine. Jessica asked me if I hated her and offered her hand to me to be friends. I said I didn’t hate her but that she had made my life uncomfortable but if that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have this great weekend and to experience time as Christine. Sally interjected and said she hoped she could spend lots of time with Christine and that whilst Chris was OK she couldn’t relax with him. I gave her a smile and blew a kiss.

Jessica then took my hand and removed her ring from her left hand and asked me to wear it as a sign of friendship so that I would always know that she cared for me. It was a simple white gold band that she’d received as a 21st birthday gift so I tried not to take it. She slipped the ring onto my third finger on my right hand and said ‘This is for Christine and not for Chris so please wear it as often as you like’. Then she asked me to wear it on Monday to the office.

My tummy was churning since it was another offer to dress as Christine and since Ms Harper had mistaken me for a female I wondered if I dare do it. But I had not even considered how to approach Mum about it since she might be devasted. She had invested a lot of time in my education and wanted me to be a successful Manager. Jessica said that if I worked as Christine she promised that she would not act badly and feel so threatened. She said she felt that in fact it might be a good thing in view of Ms Harpers belief that women make better managers.

All that said Jessica kissed us goodnight and we locked the door behind her and jumped back into bed. Sally tickled me and so I put my cold feet on her and that soon made her squeal and she stopped. We hugged again and kissed passionately before turning out our bed side lights and falling to sleep in each others arms.

At 9-30am we were woken by a knock on the door and this time I jumped out of bed searching for a dressing gown. It was breakfast so I signed for it whilst Sally groaned at the light disturbing her sleep. I poured tea and buttered some toast. Then she poked her little nose over the duvee like a mouse that smelled the cheese. I jumped back into bed with the tray perched between us and we soon scoffed everything.

Sally looked at me and said that she couldn’t believe I was the same person who she’d met before at Jessicas apartment and that last night had been wonderful. She kissed my shoulder and asked me if I loved her like she now loved me. What could I say? I had never had these feelings before for anybody and I just wanted to stay here all day and chat and cuddle. Then she dived on me and said ‘Well then Missy, what is your answer?” I just laughed and said I was thinking about it.

Sally got up to use the loo and I looked at my phone that had bleeped. It was a message from James asking if I had time for a coffee before we went home and to take Sally along. He said he had a friend who had seen her the night before at De Marcos. So I shouted to her and said we'd had an offer we shouldn't refuse to join James and I to go as my Chaperone. I didn't mention James had a friend who wanted to meet her and left her in no doubt that I wanted to go so she said yes.

We were up now so we showered and I removed a small amount of growth from my chin using a ladyshave that Sally had brought. I had a choice to make now ‘jeans or skirt Ms Sally. What do you think? You wore the jeans to come here so try the skirt to shock the neighbours when you get home. Mmm I hadn’t thought about that but what the heck I wanted to look my best and show his girlfriend she had something to worry about.

We dressed and Sally helped me with my hair and make-up. She made a much better job of it than me so felt every inch a girl. Well almost every inch I suppose. As I preened in front of the mirror Jessica and Anne arrived at the door. They had been to see the others who were all hung over with their rooms in darkness. Our train wasn’t until 5pm so they’d arranged a late check-out for all of us until 4pm and asked if we wanted to go shopping and have lunch.

We agreed to meet up but first we were going to meet James at a Starbucks. Jessica shook her head and looked at the ring on my finger. I said ‘OK it’s only a coffee!’.Mother Hen said please don’t lead him on and be fair to James and also to yourself. But I wanted to go and so Sally had agreed to come with me.

We found the Starbucks and there was James with his friend. Sally looked a bit taken aback but held my arm and whispered she was OK with me there. James had managed to get two sofas so we could be comfortable and they both stood up as we arrived. James introduced his friend as Steve and then asked what drinks we wanted. Sally had a Latte and I selected tea again since I felt I should keep an eye on my figure and avoid the milky sweet drinks. James sat with me and Steve sat with Sally who still looked decidedly nervous.

James then apologized for the trouble the previous night and asked if he could make it up to me. He wanted to invite me to a concert and said he’d pay for the train tickets for both Sally and I as well as the entry ticket and that his Mum would be away so we could stay at his home. I looked at Sally and she looked only vaguley interested so I said we’d consider it and I’d call him later that evening if he liked.

The concert was the following weekend in Birmingham so it was a chance to be Christine again and since I was now loving every minute of it I wanted to enjoy the experience again.

We sat chatting for an hour before we said we had to meet our friends and so we got up to go. James bent over and kissed me and I didn’t resist. I wanted his kiss and I wanted him to hold me. Oh what was I doing? Why was life so much better as Christine? How was I going to explain all this to mum? Sally just looked at me and shook her head.

We waved goodbye and walked around to the shopping mall where we had arranged to meet the others.

As we entered the mall I just froze. Who was just coming out through the door?

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 9 A Strange Sunday

Coming through the door was James girlfriend. I felt a cold chill down my spine and my stomach was churning. She was with two friends and they looked a little drunk even though it was still fairly early in the day. I couldn’t believe that he would like this person. I knew it was her as soon as Sallys face. She looked at me and her eyes were wide open.

We must have attracted their attention by our reaction because they stopped and turned around. ‘Hey bitch, where do you think you’re going?’ she said and she turned and came back inside. I didn’t know what to do and it was like my legs suddenly stopped working. She grabbed my arm and slapped my face. She was hurting me and I tried to break free but the more I tried the tighter her grip became.

She pushed me backwards and my head hit the wall so I was slightly dazed. Sally tried to stop her and let out a scream. Her friends got hold of her and pushed her back outside whilst this maniac was twisting my arm up my back. My mouth was bleeding a bit and I felt my lip swell. I tried to hit her and the best that I could do was grab hold of her hair to pull back her head. She was like an animal and she spat at me so I was so shocked that I let go of her.

She pushed me to the floor and kicked me between the legs so I winced with pain. It was a good job that she had trainers and that it was just a warning. She said ‘That’s so you remember to keep your distance you bitch. Don’t try flashing your tits again with my man!!’ Then she went outside and Sally hurried back in. My eyes were full of tears and I wanted to burst out crying. I was shaking but Sally calmed me down.

I wasn’t too badly hurt and Sally took me to the ladies room to wipe my mouth with an antiseptic wipe from her bag. I looked at my lip and it wasn’t so bad as it felt so a little cold water on a tissue helped a lot.

We went to meet Jessica and Anne and of course Jessica was very angry and wanted to go outside to find them. It was a good job she hadn’t been with Sally and I and I was glad that we were going home. But it made me think seriously whether I dare return the following weekend and I decided not to say anything about it to Jessica and Anne.

We had lunch and Anne sat next to me and remarked how quiet I was. I told her that I was reflecting on the weekend and how much I’d enjoyed this wonderful experience despite the difficulties we’d had late last night and just now.
Anyway the lunch was nice even if it was just a Marks & Spencer café lunch. At least the quality was good and it was better than junk food.

After lunch we had time for a little shopping. I decided to buy Mum a small gift so we looked at some earings. The assistant asked if they were for me and then tried to persuade me to have my ears pierced. I ended up buying some clip ons for myself for now and some earings for mum with a promise that I would return soon to pierce my ears.

Jessica was busy looking at necklaces so she didn’t hear me promise to return. I thought that I might take up Jessicas offer to dress as Christine for a while at the office and so I wanted to consider proper earings rather than clip- ons. But first how to convince Mum that I was not a freak.

We took a taxi back to the hotel and found the rest of our gang taking a coffee and some sandwiches for a late snack come breakfast/lunch. They looked a bit fragile but they were all quiet happy and clearly Jane was on a high. We all hugged each other and Liz treated us to some tea and scones. The swollen lip did not go unnoticed and I had to go through the full story. Lisa was more interested in how Sally and I had gone on sharing a bed with lots of suggestive remarks that brought titters of laughter.

We freshened up in our rooms and Sally and I couldn't resist to have a last kiss and cuddle. She was getting really passionate when her mobile rang and it was Jessica checking on us and asking us to hurry up. They had checked out so that we could arrive at the railway station in good time and so our last bit of fun came to an end much to our disappointment. But I felt that I shouldn't complain since I neede to arrive home early that night to remove all traces of Christine before Mum got home later. When the train departed on time I was relieved.

Then Jessica produced a bottle of Cava and 8 plastic cups and this was quickly consumed before another one appeared from Lisas bag. Just what we all needed a top up so that any traces of a hangover would disappear. Pretty soon we were laughing and telling stories and I was feeling especially girly and most comfortable. I had a nice feeling all over and closed my eyes. All I could think of was James for some reason and I felt that he’d never have even spoken to me as Chris. But what to do and how to keep my new friendship with Sally and still be friends with James. Moreso to the point how to avoid his crazy ex? I was sure that she’d hurt me more next time.

Sally and I were sitting together again and we linked arms. She told me all about her family and her relationships at school. Her best friend had emigrated to Australia and I got the impression that they had something going together and her friends parents had decided to take her away to stop the relationship developing any further. Sally eventually confirmed this. I didn't have much to say since as I said to Sally I hadn't had much exitement in my life and I felt that I'd missed out. She whispered to me not to worry as she'd help me make up for lost time.

Then after about one and a half hours the train stopped and we were advised that there had been an incident ahead of us. We sat there for more than an hour before we finally inched forward and then the train picked up speed. So we arrived back almost 2 hrs late and then had one last drink in a local pub that became 3 drinks. I had no choice but to join them to finish our celebrations especially since Mary Jo and Helen met us on arrival at the station. I hadn't had a message from Mum so by now I was expecting her to arrive home on Monday that was a relief.

Then I got a call from James and I had to take it in a quiet corner. He said that he'd heard about the fight at the mall but I told him it wasn't a fight at all and that she was mad and a bully. He'd told her that was definately it as far as she was concerned and I must admit I milked the situation as much as I could so he'd show his care for me. He said he really wanted to meet me again and asked if we'd made a decision. I said to wait until tomorrow so he was disappointed when we finished the call.

At 10-30 pm we finally all said our goodbyes since we had work tomorrow. I promised Jessica that I would arrive as Christine and try it for one day at least. Really I was terrified because I still needed to see mum so I said it would be Chris turning up. Everybody sighed. We all hugged again and Jessica kissed to show sally that she cared for me too. Then I took a taxi home.

I was very nervous to travel alone as Christine and it had never bothered me as Chris.The taxi driver was very friendly but I didn't want to chat. It took about 25 minutes because the roads were quiet. I wanted to close my eyes but I daren't. As the taxi pulled up outside my house I searched for some money in my new purse.

Then I looked up and to my horror the lights were on in the lounge.

To be continued ……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 10 And still the weekend goes on.

OMG what to do? Should I try to sneak in and go quickly to my room or just be open? I had no choice really since Mum would have heard the taxi. I cursed my bad luck and struggled up the drive with my bag and opened the front door. I could hear music playing.

I looked upstairs and the landing light was on and then I heard voices. I was terrified thinking we were being burgled. I seemed to have taken root and didn’t move. Then I saw Julie, my sis, looking downstairs to see who had opened the front door, Mum or I. She shouted ‘ is that you Chris?’

She had obviously arrived home unexpectedly and somebody was with her. I ducked quickly into the kitchen and just shouted ‘Hi it’s only me’ whilst I panicked and looked around for some sort of escape route. Nothing obvious so what to do?

Then I heard her coming down the stairs and she entered the kitchen in her dressing gown. It was obvious I’d interrupted something.

I heard her mumble ‘Who in Gods name are you?’ and then she tried to stop herself in mid sentence as it registered with her that it was me. ‘Chris is that you? Why are you dressed like that? Is that my skirt and top? What do you think that you are playing at? What’s going on?’

I never got chance to answer one of the questions and just stood still like a dummy. ‘Chris please speak to me, What is going on?’
She looked at me and shook her head. ‘Wow!!! what happened have you had a sex change or something? ’

Finally she stopped for breath and I had chance to answer her. ‘Sorry sis I know it must be a shock but I’ve been on a wedding celebration weekend and the girls decided to dress me up. ‘Well they did a damned good job Chris, that’s all I can say.’

‘Come on Chris where is my hug? ‘ I moved towards her and she reached out and twirled me around for a proper look. ‘Really Chris have you had some treatment or not?’
We sat down at the breakfast bar and I got up to fill the kettle.

‘Does Mum know or have you been sneaking around’” she said barely giving me chance to answer before thinking of her next question. ‘How long have you been doing this?’
We made some tea together and settled onto the breakfast stools and I asked who was with her? She told me she’d come back for her boyfriends 30th birthday as a surprise to him and they’d been making up for lost time. I said I was sorry to interrupt them and she said it was OK since they already had seconds.

She had spoken to mum and so she knew I was away for the weekend and she’d given up on me. The she said ‘Why are you really dressed in my clothes? What is going on? Does Mum know? How long has this been going on? Are you gay or not? Has anybody seen you?

I was laughing at her by this time. She was like a machine gun firing bullets. So I told her the story of how it started and that I’d really enjoyed myself and had lots of wonderful experiences in such a short time.

‘Do you want to change sex then? What did you say to James? Do you love sally? What about work and this Jessica character?

I had no answers to any of her questions but I did then say that I’d more or less decided to go to work as Christine but I valued her opinion since Mum was not around. Mmm did I really say that?

She thought about it and then she said that she was really surprised how convincing I was and that she really liked the thought of having a sister. Then she said that I should try it and see what happened since my main work colleagues knew anyway. She got me to stand and twirl around and said I had better legs than her. Maybe my bum was a bit slim but she was sure that I would pass and maybe I should have some color treatment on my hair.

We were chatting away when her boyfriend Gary came through the door. Hi Jules who’s this? Julie and I looked at each other. ‘It’s my sister Christine.’

‘Oh I thought you had just the one brother and there were two of you.’
Julie said ‘No you don’t listen to me infact you never listen properly. This is Christine’

He said ‘Oh, I’m sorry but I didn’t ignore you I just misundertood’
So we sat together for about fifteen minutes whilst Julie made up some small stories about growing up together to put him off the scent a bit.

By now it was about 1am and I was bursting for the loo. Julie said to keep the clothes and went to her room and gathered a fresh nightdress and some underwear that she left on my bed.

So I showered and brushed my teeth and for the first time in my life felt at peace in my own bed thankful that I’d moved on and made a decision about Monday at work.

My next problem was whether or not I had the courage to turn up as Christine or not. I got a sweet good night kiss and message on my mobile phone from Sally so reciprocated and I was soon sound asleep.

I had to get up early since no quick moonwash and brush my teeth. I had to decide what to wear and present myself as well as I possibly could. Julie helped me to prepare and selected a few items to try on and we finally settled on a black skirt and white blouse with dark tights and some black patent kitten heels so I didn’t look too tall. She styled my hair with her curling tongs and then stood back to admire her handiwork.

Then she hugged me and said to be confident in myself and to go for it. They drove me to work so that nothing was spoiled and offered to meet me for lunch so they could have all the details.

As I approached the entrance to the office I looked up to the second floor to see Liz, Helen and Lisa waving. I swallowed hard and pushed the door open only to hear this voice shout ‘Christine please hang on, wait and give me a hand’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’

By Julie D Cole

Chapter 11 Back to work!!
I turned around and saw Ms Harper getting out of her car that was parked in her Executive parking place. It was a big BMW 7 series that seemed awfully big for a woman to drive.
She had opened the car boot and waved me across to her so that I could carry a file to her office. So it was funny that because I’d helped her previously I’d been christened Christine and now here I was arriving at work as Christine.

She told me that I was looking nice today and that I looked much happier than last time I’d seen her and so had something nice happened such as a new man in my life. I blushed and mumbled back that I’d just had a wonderful weekend with the girls and said Jane had been celebrating her forthcoming wedding. She said she’d contact her to send her the Companies best wishes and that she would arrange a wedding gift if I could find out what she wanted.

As we were going up the lift she said she’d spoken to Jessica about me to see what job I’d been doing and how long I’d worked for the Company because she’d not had much chance to talk to me when she'd met me before. I was very nervous talking to her and especially when we’d walked past reception and Shirley on the desk had smiled and looked over her glasses at me. She'd obviously been watching out for me judging by the smile and no doubt it would have been Anne who told her since they are close friends.

We arrived at her office suite and nobody was at her PA’s desk so I assumed she must be on leave. Ms Harper said she was a little annoyed because her PA, Catherine had taken leave to attend to some urgent personal business without arranging any cover.

As I looked around her office I was really impressed. She had a massive leather topped desk and her office had a nice soft light grey carpet. The walls were all paneled with light oak wood and had soft lighting incorporated. She had a big red Chesterfield settee and two high back leather chairs and a coffee table with beautiful pink lilies decorating it. Quite different from our modest office and the small workstations with restricted space. I said wow and she smiled. She said “It looks good doesn’t it but I wish I had more time to appreciate it”

Ms Harper has long beautifully conditioned light brown hair down over her shoulders with soft curls and it looked like she has an excellent stylist to look after her. Her nails were beautiful. She was dressed in a smart black business suit so she looked very elegant and I felt we should all be proud that she is the face of our Company. Who could not admire her?

She asked me to put the file on her desk and she rang Jessica to tell her that I wasn’t late and that I’d helped her carry something and had been very sweet. I blushed and my tummy was churning. I suppose that I was worried since in case I got found out and I thought she would be very angry if she knew. She shook hands with me and I noticed she had a very nice diamond ring on her right hand on the third finger that looked like it had been an engagement ring. She noticed my eyes focus on the ring and said it was from her ex but eventually he’d found her too much for him because she could not relax and she had a very strong personality.

We were similar height and I she then put her arm around me and escorted me to the door thanking me for my assistance. Then she said she’d be in touch about the wedding gift for Jane and to pass on her congratulations.

I was feeling a little bit nervous as I took the lift down to our floor because this was my entrance. As I walked through the door it went quiet and then everybody stood up and clapped. It was obviously pre-arranged and I blushed and stopped. Tears filled my eyes since it was a complete shock. Anne came over to me and walked me to my work station where they’d placed some flowers and hung a band. ‘Welcome to Christine’.

I had several good luck cards and they’d put some photographs on my small notice board at the side of my desk that were from the weekend. I just burst out crying and they all surrounded me hugging me and offering me tissues. Then Jessica came out of her office and asked everyone to sit down. She then told everyone that they should be as discreet as possible and make me as comfortable as possible. She announced that by unanimous decision I’d been granted use of the ladies bathroom. I was delighted since this was a big relief.

Then Liz produced a cup of coffee in my own mug which had my new name Christine. I had just time to switch on my computer and drink it before Anne and I were called to Jessica’s office so that I could run through a few things with them about extra duties I would be undertaking and a small promotion and salary increase. They wanted me to look after 2 key supplier accounts and be involved in the weekly junior management meeting that was due to start in 30 minutes time.

I was surprised and relieved to be treated so well and felt that this was all down to my courage to dress as Christine and form better relationships with my workmates. I sighed heavily and they both smiled and said that I’d really fitted in over the weekend and that face [my lip] looked a lot better. In truth Julie had done an excellent repair job and changed the color of my lipstick for a darker shade that was a little more like my blood color. She said the color was a little older but better anyway for work.

So I was feeling really good by now since at last I had chance to return to a real job even if I’d had to become one of the girls to get the chance.

The office atmosphere was so much happier than normal because everybody was laughing about some of the events and the glass of water and how well I’d adjusted. They all wanted to go to the wedding party now and asked what I would wear. To be honest I’d completely forgotten about it since I’d been invited as Chris but now maybe I’d be going as Christine with the chance to buy some new outfits. I pinched myself to stop getting carried away. I still hadn’t told mum.

Then about 11 am Jessica called me into her office and said that Ms Harper had called her to invite us to lunch. I’d already arranged to meet Julie but I couldn’t say no and thought she’d be OK about it.

So about 12-30pm Jessica got a call and we met Ms Harper in reception. I’d done a quick repair job and touch up in the ladies bathroom and sprayed an extra bit of perfume between my boobs. I think I was beginning to like life as Christine and somehow I hadn’t had much difficulty convincing people that I was female.

Ms Harper was very friendly and she asked me to use her first name of Kate like Jessica did. I said ‘Yes Ms Harper’ and she laughed.

I sat in the back of her car and it was fabulous. Some of the girls from the office waved as we drove past them and Lisa put her nose in the air in fun. Jessica was chatting away in the front telling Kate about our weekend. She was smiling when she heard that Jessica had sprung to my defence and asked me if I’d led this guy on. Of course I denied it and she just said ‘YeahYeah we believe you.

She had reserved a table at a Chinese restaurant and they seemed to know her very well. We got a quiet area almost like a separate room and then she proceeded to order a selection of items and some Chinese flower tea. She kept looking at me and asking if I liked Chinese food.

The dishes were quick to arrive and since Kate insisted we tried chopsticks I struggled a little bit so she took my hand and showed me the technique. I started to get reasonably proficient and at least good enough not to spill.

Then part way through devouring some prawns Kate said that she’d discussed me with Jessica the week before after I'd helped her and was surprised to find out that I was Chris who’d she’d heard of but never noticed. I went extremely red and wanted to sink under the table. She touched my hand and said not to be embarrassed since her fiancé had been a transvestite but was also very animated in bed. She said he’d eventually met another man that she couldn’t accept so she’d terminated the engagement.

But I said I didn’t feel like a transvestite I felt natural when dressed as Christine and I was really seeing life in a different way. Then she asked if I intended to always dress as Christine or if I was going to revert to Chris. I didn’t know and so I couldn’t answer and anyway I said I might be dead or crippled tomorrow when mum found out.

After we finished the hot food Kate ordered some coffee since none of us wanted sweets. Then she said that she’d wanted to meet me to see if I was the right sort of person to help her out since she wanted a PA from within the Company until her full time PA was able to return to work. She said it would be effective immediately and she would compensate me very well. Jessica looked green with envy.

I thought about it very seriously for about 30 seconds and then said ‘Yes Ms Harper’. She laughed and turned to Jessica and said ‘ OK Ms Walker that’s it then’ and then Jessica laughed and then Ms Harper shook my hand and said 'Come see me tomorrow.'

My head was in a whirl as we travelled back to the office and I couldn’t wait to let Sally know so I sent her a quick text message. She sent one straight back saying ‘ Will you still talk to me now you are elevated to Business Class?” I sent a smiley face back saying HaHa lover!!

So the rest of the day was full of chatterboxing. Nobody could believe it and everyday remarked how much my personality had changed.

At 5pm everybody started to pack up for the day and at 5-15pm we were all rushing to the lift. Jessica and Anne had organized a small celebration to welcome Christine at the local pub, and everybody came along.

I didn’t need anything to eat and it was only snacky things anyway. Then Jessica proposed a toast to their new colleague and a second one to say goodbye to poor little Chris. I stuck out my tongue of course.

I didn’t want to stay too long because I wanted to see mum so I sent her a text message to tell her where I was. Her reply was pretty quick for once and was short and sharp.

OK Christine!!!

To be continued….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole

Chapter 12 The shock

OMG she knows!! How? Why didn’t I go straight home or go to work as Chris and tell her before she sees me?

I sent a text to Julie and asked where she was and would she pick me up since I felt terrible and daren’t go home.

Within 20 minutes she had arrived and I said my goodbyes. Jessica said I’d gone white and asked if I was OK. I just said it was the excitement of the day and that I’d contact her later. It reminded me to send a text to Sally and I asked if she could meet me the following evening for a chat. I got a nice smiley response and ‘Good Luck — You’ll be fine. Just be yourself!!!’ She is a brick.

Julie opened the car for me and then admitted she’d decided to intervene and warn mum that I’d something to tell her but she’d badgered her all evening until in the end she’d told her that I had an identity crisis and was feeling confused with my gender. She said mum had then sat down and appeared very calm and hardly said anything because she wanted to talk to me before making any judgements. I just kept saying ‘Was she angry? Was she upset? How did she seem when she left OK or not?

Each time Julie just said ‘She was fine don’t worry.’

When we arrived home Julie opened the door and we went straight through to the lounge where mum was waiting. She was sitting in her favorite reading chair with her glasses perched on the end of her nose. She’s quite young looking despite her greying hair and has always kept her good figure.

She stood up and then said ‘Chris is that you? Is it or not? Oh my goodness?’

Then she burst into tears and staggered backwards saying ‘Oh My Oh My Oh Oh’ as she fought for breath. Julie and I both jumped forwards since we knew this was one of her nervous palpitation attacks and she might faint. We sat her down and she held us back to try to get air. Julie shot off to the kitchen to get a glass of water and a powder that mum takes that always seems to calm her down.

She squeezed my hand so tight I wanted to scream and then she seemed to calm down and the tears stopped. She sipped the water that seemed to relieve some trapped air from her lungs and then she looked at me and shook her haid. Oh Chris I don’t belive it, I don’t believe it.

I started crying and went down on my knees saying Sorry Mum Sorry Mum please I didn’t mean it’ the I said I’m really sorry I promise I won’t dress like this again. I don’t want you to be so upset. She made me sit on the settee and Julie sat on the arm with her arm around me. She said ‘Mum it’s OK he is not a freak’.

Then mum said we had it all wrong and that it wasn’t the shock of me dressing as a woman it was something else. She was shaking her head and the tears flowed again for a while.
Julie sat with her and held her hand and said ‘Mum what do you mean?’

Then she said that it was bringing everything back and the awful memories from her youth just before she married dad. She’d been out with friends and her sister Judith who was in the car in front that was hit by a truck on a roundabout and Judith and the driver of the car had been killed. Mum had screamed as she saw it happening. She said it was slow motion and the most horrible thing that she'd ever seen. The wdding had to be delayed for 6 months until she could pluck up the courage since judith would have been Chief Bridesmaid.

Then mum said tearfully ‘Chris I’m so sorry but I thought you were Judith as you walked through the door. You look exactly like Judith when she dressed for work’. We all burst into tears and hugged each other. Julie and I knew some of the story and how beautiful Aunt Judith was and how mum missed her and never had chance to share happy lives with children growing up that they'd always talked about. She said that as her elder sister she never orgave herself for not insisting they were in the same car. Her mum and dad had been broken by the tradgedy but did often say that they had to thank God we were not both together in the car that was hit. It did affect mums life and her marriage.

Eventually she just hugged me and said that it was wonderful to see 'her sister' walk through the door and that all her married life she so wanted to talk to her. So it had been a big shock. She said I looked lovely and that she’d like to know what caused this to happen and why it had been so sudden since I’d never shown any sign of a desire to be a girl.

We decided to go to the kitchen and make some tea and we sat for an hour or so whilst I told her what my life had been like before the last weekend and how easily I’d switched to Christine. I told her about Sally and about what had happened at work with Kate Harper. She was pleased that I’d overcome some of my problems but concerned about what might happen in the future.

Then I got a text from Sally saying ‘What’s happened? Are you still alive?’ ‘Please call me when you can since otherwise I won’t sleep.’

Mum said she was OK now and suggested we all got ready for bed and in the meantime I should call Sally since she was so concerned.

I went to my room and called Sally and a few minutes into the call Julie popped in with some clean nightclothes and a dressing gown. I was just wiping my eyes with a tissue so she smiled and said 'Say Hi to Sally.I'd love to meet her'

Sally wanted to know everything from the moment I’d woken up to the last conversation with mum so I was on the call for ages. Even though we were supposed to meet in less than twenty four hours she wanted me to ‘dish the dirt’. Jessica had told her that I’d done well at work during the day and we’d had lunch with Kate Harper. But she hadn’t told her that Kate asked me to be her PA for a while. Sally was over the moon and said this could be my chance. Eventually Julie called upstairs to me so I had to finish the call and she thanked me for ringing and sent her best love and kisses down the phone line. I went to the bathroom where I cleaned my face and brushed my teeth. I then thought I’d better shower that was really quick.

I put on the nightdress and the dressing gown and also put on a clean bra and clean panties so that it was clear that I was more Christine than Chris.

We met in the lounge and by this time mum had made some cocoa and each of us had a digestive biscuit. Mum and Julie then said that they wanted to fully support me whatever decision that I took. We chatted about some of the difficulties I might have and mum promised to make a list that we should go throgh together. I said I wanted to experience the life of Christine for a bit longer and that I couldn’t be certain how I might feel to switch or if I might revert back in 2 weeks time. They said to take my time and not set any deadlines. It was a massive relief.

Then the house phone rang and mum jumped.’ My goodness who is that at this late hour?’

To be continued……..

. At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 13 Is life getting better or not?

Mum panicked as usual, ‘Who could that be at this time, it’s 11-30pm?’

‘Hello, Yes Christine is here, who is speaking please?...James? Is it about work?’
I cringed and rushed to take the telephone ‘it’s OK mum it’s James, I met him last weekend at the hen night. Don’t worry he’s just a friend’

She looked at Julie and shook her head as I took the phone. I hoped they’d both leave the room but they were pretending to tidy up until they’d found a little more out. ‘I stopped talking and said ‘Mum…please’

They got the message. ‘Sorry James my mobile is OK but the battery is low because I was talking to Sally. I forgot to re-charge it today with all the excitement at work.’ He said he’d buy me a new mobile if I went to Birmingham and could have the best in the shop with the biggest battery.

So I filled him in with the details of what had happened at work and how well I’d been welcomed after the ground breaking weekend with the girls from the office. He asked how mum had reacted so I told him the story and he was very complementary and said Aunt Judith must have been 'a looker.' He made me smile and he said that this experience of a new daughter might be very nice for mum. Maybe she could open up to me as Christine and talk about Aunt Judith. I said I thought he was very perceptive and I would let him know if he was right.
Then I asked him where the 'Wicked Witch of West Birmingham' was? Had she been in touch.

He hesitated and then said he’d met her that evening and that was the real reason he was late calling me. He was having a hard time convincing her that he was serious to separate and she’d begged him all night long to change his mind. My name had cropped up but only as 'your bit of Floosie' James said packing in was nothing to do with Christine since we’d only met a few hours before she was stupid and threw the water. It made me worry a bit that she might be looking for me so I felt uncomfortable and told James it might be too dangerous to visit the following weekend.

But he kept re-assuring me and saying I'd be with him all the time and not to be frightened of her since she wasn't so bad as it had appeared. But I remembered the mall and the look in her eyes. James persisted so eventually caved in and said I’d sort things out with Sally tomorrow. ‘Well today actually since it’s 12-15am’

He wished me sweet dreams and said he would dream about me. I asked if he had nightmares regularly and he laughed. I promised to call him later and to re-charge my mobile phone. He then laughed aloud and said he’d throw it in the river after I got a new one.

I turned off the downstairs lights and went upstairs as quietly as possible. I whispered goodnight to mum and then cleaned my teeth but I suppose the electric toothbrush made more noise than my tiptoes.

Julie’s bedroom light was still on so I went in as she’d left the door ajar hoping to catch me. As I whispered goodnight she beckoned me over and pulled back the duvet cover.

Come on ‘Sis’ I can’t sleep until I know more about this James character who rings so late at night. I snuggled up beside her and she was warm and smelled nice. She kissed my cheek and pulled me down under the duvet where it was more cosy. We giggled like silly schoolgirls and she stroked my false bosom and said I made a very pretty sister and that it had been wonderful that mum and finally talked about Aunt Judith because I looked like her. She said we should try to talk more but maybe that might be easier for me to do because of the resemblance. We both wanted to find out more about Aunt Judith and to see if mum had some old photos.

I’d never snuggled up in bed before with my sister and we hugged each other. She looked at me and said ‘I’m here for you as Chris or Christine so just relax and be who you want to be.’ But she wouldn't let me go to sleep until I told her if he was handsome and tall or short and fat. I hit her playfully and we giggled. I said that we'd danced and he'd kissed me and admitted that he'd got aroused and pressed against me and that he picked me up and carried me outside to make love in the bushes. She said 'Get Lost sister - in your dreams!'. We laughed and I said the first part was true and I dreamed the rest. But I did admit he seemed to be quite a big boy and I was not sure I should go too far with him. Then she hit my arm and tickled my tummy. We agreed to leave it for now since there wasn't too much to say as it was just an acquaintance. 'Yes but he's your first date!!'

Then she asked me about Sally and I told her that I really liked her and that we had slept together. 'OMG did you do anything?'

I admitted that we'd made love together but without any sexual penetration and I asked her not to say anything to anybody. Then she laughed and said the Wicked witch was right, 'I was a floosie'. Two relationships in parallel? Any more she should know about and record in the family diary? She is very funny.

After a while we were both sleepy so I asked if I could stay in her warm bed and sleep with her because I felt so nice. She whispered ‘No Problem, Sis,' and turned off the light and wrapped her arms around me.'Sweet dreams. Boy or Girl? Or both maybe. HaHa' That deserved a smack on the bum that she received.

I don’t remember a thing after that until I heard mum use the bathroom the next morning. It was 7am so I had to move quickly as I’d to meet Kate. Julie got out of bed even though she wasn’t working since she wanted to help me prepare myself properly. She looked through her wardrobe whilst I showered and dried. I looked at my hairless body and as I looked in the mirror I saw I was much more Christine than Chris and my bust seemed to have swelled a little and my nipples were sticking out after the hot water. No need to shave much these days but I thought I’d better check for stubble and decided I was OK.

Julie had picked out a beige tunic dress that was sleeveless and a white long sleeved blouse so that I would look more like a PA than an office assistant and selected some 10 deneor dark brown tights and black heels. She found me an underskirt and a light tan matching bra and pants set. Then she said we needed to shop to fit me out so since I was working she’d do it for me at least to set me off.

I said ‘What about the money? How much do you need?’ Her reply was ‘Tut tut..don’t worry I’ll use my credit card and give you the bill later’. Then we joined mum who was boiling some eggs and had set the breakfast bar with fruit juice, yoghurt and some fruit. We had 10 minute chat and I told mum James had invited Sally and I down to Birmingham next weekend. She said ‘please slow down a little and let’s all discuss it later. Then I said I was meeting Sally after work so I wouldn’t be hope until around 10 pm and she smiled and shook her head. ‘What happened to my reclusive son who liked to stay in of an evening?’

I left and said ‘He was too quiet and a little bit boring. Not like Julie and I. Ha-Ha!’
Julie offered to give me a lift and arranged to return for mum so they’d go to a mall together. I went to the bathroom to do my make-up quickly followed by Julie who checked and made some small adjustments. She said ‘You’ll do but don’t go breaking any more hearts yet till you’ve repaired the others!, I tapped her arm and said ‘Thanks Sis, I love you’…’I love you too!!’

I arrived at the office 10 minutes early so I called at my desk and said hello to Jessica who was always in at 8am. She said to go up to Kate’s office and settle in until she arrived and then I’d probably have to meet Jenny from the HR and Admin Department. I gathered a few personal bits and pieces and went upstairs to Kate’s Office.

On my desk was a welcome note with a large bouquet of flowers so my first job might be to find a vase.

There was a small kitchen and I found one in one of the cupboards. There was also a coffee machine so I cleaned it and started some fresh coffee.

About 9-15am I had just placed the flowers on the sideboard when Kate arrived. ‘Morning, morning,morning’ Her arms were full as usual and she was grateful that I helped her to unload. ‘She said ‘The coffee smells great. Let’s have one together and have a little chat’.

She said that I looked very smart and I gave credit to Sis. Then she sipped her coffee and looked me in the eyes. ‘Chris are you sure that you are OK with this?

I nodded and said that I was very comfortable and that mum and Julie offered their full support. So she said ‘Let’s give it a try then and I’ll show you the rope’.

Her PA was quite organized and I was impressed with the tidiness of her desk and the organized computer files. It did seem like a well run paperless office.

Kate came up to me and gave me a pile of receipts and asked me to look at the expenses file and then make out an expense report. She had a meeting at 10-30 am and so she asked me to quickly go meet HR and be back before 10-15am.

Then the telephone rang and she was lost in a deep conversation with someone called Bernie. So I took the opportunity to freshen up and then went to the third floor to meet HR department.

I met Wendy who was a friend of Vicky and she said I looked great and asked me to go into their conference room. The HR Manager was Dave Roberts who had set me on and mentored me for a while during which time I’d done well.

He closed the door behind him and sat down.

Then he said ‘Well Chris I don’t believe what I see and I don’t like what I see so please tell me all about it’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 14 New job new problems better life

It was a bit of a shock since I expected to just be discussing a salary adjustment so all I could mumble ‘What do you mean?’

Dave said that he was shocked and disappointed in me and that I had been the talk of the building the day before according to his assistant. He looked at me and said ‘Chris you are a man, what are you playing at, what on earth has possessed you to dress like this?’ I was speechless and mainly disappointed since everything had been going so well these last few days and especially today. He sat patiently waiting for me to speak and I had tears in my eyes so I fumbled in my bag for a tissue. He stood up and walked to the window and so I finally spoke out.

I told him that as Chris my life was going nowhere and that in fact I felt I had no life at all. My job had deteriorated to that of an office assistant and Jessica had been promoted above me and the management seemed to have more support for the women in the department who were getting treated better and being giving more opportunity.

I said that the Company seemed to be performing better because of this and that Kate Harper had brought in the changes and everybody respected and followed her. I actually also felt that she was a good leader and felt I had been given a chance to be in her team that I'd have never got as Chris.

He said ‘So was that the only reason for you to suddenly change sex? You can’t just flick a switch and wake up female because it gives you chance for a better job or more career prospects.’ I just looked at him and then he said ‘Look Chris I know that you are good at your job and if you’d come to me we could have dealt with the prejudice, there are procedures for this.’

I just looked at him and said ‘Oh Yeh really?’. I spoke out for once and surprised myself and told him that he wasn’t in the office enough for people to feel they could go to him. Most people felt HR were there to just set rules on behalf of the management. Was this Chris or Christine speaking? He sat back down.

Then I said that I’d had the most fantastic few days and that I felt like a different person. I’d met new friends and my work colleagues liked me better as Christine and mum and my sister even seemed to be very easy about it. In fact I felt closer to my sister now than ever before. I felt like a person and people seemed to like me. What is wrong with that?

He took a few notes and said that because it was me he'd taken time out to talk. Under normal circumstances he would be taking strong action and would be sending me home because it is disruptive to our Company and may cause embarrassment to other employees. Also he felt customers might have reason to complain.

But after a few minutes of further reflection he said that since Kate Harper seemed to know all about it and was supportive so he’d have to think more and consult. He decided to meet her and discuss how to deal with this but his feeling was that I really ought to consider returning to my Chris persona and to think about my future and the difficulties I’d have to face as Christine. I just burst into tears.

Then he looked at me with concern and came around the table and put his hand on my shoulder and said. ‘Chris whatever I say officially you are very beautiful and I’m amazed at your transformation. I said thanks and he said ‘OK maybe I have to keep a more open mind so let me see what I can do,’

He wanted to help so he followed on to say ‘.. but don’t build your hopes up too much yet as I have to consider if there are any guidelines for such events and everything depends on my discussion with Kate after I explain the possible implications to her. He asked me what I did for the bathroom as Christine. Then he said ‘Didn’t any body complain when you used the toilets?’ I told him that all the girls in our office had been fine and treated me as a girl and infact it was their suggestion.

So he then asked me to go back upstairs and he’d changed his mind so that on reflection I could carry on for now in my new job as Christine until he came back to me.I was relieved but still apprehensive as I went back upstairs. Kate was waiting because I was 5 minutes late.’ What’s wrong Christine?’ I blurted out what Dave had said and she said to go to the bathroom and freshen up and not to worry as she’d deal with it. ‘Dave is only doing his job. Who runs this place me or him?’

She said her visitors were running late so we had fifteen minutes to prepare and she asked me to prepare some coffee when I got back and then pull up their account details and print off a report that she’d prepared and saved. I was feeling better already.

As I looked at myself in the mirror it was obvious that I’d been crying and my eyes were red and my mascara had run. I had a shiny nose from the tissues since I’d wiped away the foundation. I washed my eyes in cool water and cleaned my face and put on fresh make-up. I looked much better and I looked long and hard and then decided that I was going to be strong and positive and stand up for myself. Everybody is supporting me and I’d almost convinced Dave so now I had to show him that I could handle the situation.

Kate smiled at me and said I looked nice again so welcome back. She’s just spoken to Dave Roberts and agreed they’d meet in the afternoon at 3pm to sort everything out. She said ‘I just found you and I’m the boss around here and I’m used to getting my way. You mustn’t give up if this is what you want and I’ll help you as long as you are doing a good job.Come on Chrissie we have to hurry now so please get that coffee going.’ I felt like kissing her and giving her a big hug. She knew my feeling. I just know she knew.

I then got a call from Shirley in reception that Kate’s visitors had arrived. So I told Kate and set off to greet them and bring them upstairs.

Shirley was very nice and said I looked especially nice today as I arrived. She lifted my morale immediately.

I introduced myself and asked them to follow me upstairs. Mr Johnson was the CEO of a retail Company who supplied a lot of big stores for ladieswear and Kate told me that their style was modern and quite fashionable. Mr Johnson imported everything from China and owned a Company there which produced the products. He had 2 people with him. One was his fashion designer Ms Katie Wilde and the other his Commercial Manager Peter Frampton.
Katie looked very elegant and she smiled and shook my hand with confidence. Mr Johnson was a little grumpy and just said ‘Morning, bloody traffic!’. Peter looked me up and down and I felt uncomfortable in case he doubts about me but then he looked in my eyes and said he agreed with Shirley that I looked beautiful and that he was pleased to meet me.

When we entered Kates office Mr Johnson beemed and dashed over to Kate saying he was delighted to see her again. He was much more animated than he’d been downstairs and took off his raincoat and handed to me to hang up without even a glance. Then he introduced Katie and Peter to Kate. She asked them if they’d like a drink and I brought in the coffees. Then Kate asked me to make a lunch appointment for 1pm and find the number for a wine bar that was in her top 5 list under 'special lunch venues'.

So I left them to it and found the wine bar, reserved a table and of course they knew Kate immediately and so I let her know that everything was confirmed.

That gave me chance to sit down for the first time that morning so I called Julie and arranged to meet her for lunch and then I called Sally.

Sally was very exited to hear from me and we agreed to try this same wine bar that evening to check it out. She wasn’t very busy so she said she was going to leave work early to shop a bit and would meet me there at 6pm for wine before dinner. I said OK but not Chardonnay please. She laughed since it is usually her first choice because she never remembers any other type. personally I like Pinot Grigio but she couldn't remember the name.

I was feeling more confident by now so I called Anne downstairs and asked if anybody had missed me and sorry I hadn't been down. She laughed and said of course not. "We just found a young girl from an agency who is just as capable of doing your job as you and she is very sweet and organised in fact everybody likes her.

I was just about to say something and then she laughed and said she was joking. They all wished me well but were hoping it was just a temporary arrangement. They wanted to meet up after work that night but I told Anne it was difficult because I was meeting Sally to chat about next weekend so she said she’d fix Thursday instead. I never had to juggle my diary before. I have gone from ‘Billy no mates’ to Billie Lotsamates in a week.

I waited for Kate to finish her meeting and just popped in to double check they’d be finished in time for lunch and supply some fresh coffee. I’d quickly checked the details of Mr Johnsons Company on the internet and I saw that dispite his grumpiness he was obviously a very successful businessman. His success seemed to come because he'd hired a good team of designers and invested in low cost production. He had only been in China for a few years but already had one thousand employees.

Kate seemed to be in fine form and had them all exited and they were drafting out a contract having reached some agreement. She didn't have any legal support or commercial people and was very confident in what she was doing. She told me they’d soon be ready for lunch and to arrange for some champagne to be put on ice.

Peter was looking at my legs and I felt awkward and then looked up and smiled. He looked across at Katie and she just politely coughed so it made me nervous as it seemed like some sort of code. They were soon told to focus on the meeting and they responded immediately.

After they left for lunch I called Julie and then hurried to meet her since she’d been waiting in Costa Coffee for ages and she said she was almost ready to give up on me.

We agreed we should stay there since she already had a table and I did like the look of the cheese and ham toasties. It was my treat and I only wished it could be a five course dinner for the support that Julie gave me with mum.

Julie said she had bought lots of clothes for me and thought I'd like them but she’d left everything in the car. She told me that next time she was taking me along since it’s more fun to shop in twos so one can advise the other.Also somebody to carry the bags.

After we finished eating she looked at me seriously and said that she had something to tell me.

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 15 Lunch with Sis

All I could say was ‘What’s wrong…what’s happened?’ to which Julie put her hand on mine and said ‘Don’t worry it’s just something that happened this morning.’

I was at a loose end after I dropped you at work since mum decided I didn’t need to take her to town so I called in at the Health club for a coffee and to read the newspapers until the shops opened. Who should come in but Rachel Atkinson. Remember she used to fancy you at school but you were too shy to notice. I denied this of course.
‘Well she sat with me and then asked how you were. She smiled as she was saying it so I just said he’s OK thanks. Then she said ‘ Don’t you mean she’s OK.’ I was taken aback for a moment or too but then said ‘Pardon’.

Then she said she’d met Jessica Walker from your office on Sunday night after you left the pub and she was a bit drunk. She told her that you’d been on a Hen Night together and that she’d taken a fancy to you and had to stop someone from beating you up. She told Rachel that you were working for her and that she’d been persuaded to agree that you go to Birmingham with her and some friends. She thought you’d make a fool of yourself but you didn’t. Rachel says that she is jealous of Sally and she’s thinking of kicking her out of her apartment because of her relationship with you.

I was not surprised with some of the information but I felt concerned for Sally because she doesn’t need this hassle just now. I felt that Jessica was very two faced and was nice as pie one minute then Little Miss Nasty the next. I said ‘She’d be devastated and I can’t stand by and let this happen’. I don’t know what has poisoned Jessica that she could be so jealous and Sally is so nice that nobody can fall out with her.

Julie said that there was more because Jessica also said that you’d got a new gay boyfriend so Rachel should be relieved that you’d not responded to her attempts to attract you. She said that he had a crazy girlfriend who was a lesbian and that she’d had to give her a spanking for attacking you before the police arrested her. ‘Is all this true?

I said ‘ Of course it’s not true….well some of it is true.’ I didn’t like to hear that I was being talked about behind my back and asked Julie if this was common knowledge. She said she couldn’t see Rachel saying too much to people but then she wasn’t keeping it secret either. All I could say was ’Mmm…I think I’ll have to talk with Jessica to sort this out.’ Julie I can’t talk much now but I do know that James is bisexual and that his mum is worried about him so that’s part of the reason he asked me and Sally to stay with him and his friend next weekend’.

James had soon had his suspicions about all of us since we went to a gay club and he’d seen Sally and I dancing together and also thought that Jessica fancied me and that Liz and Lisa were together. I’d told him that I wasn’t a lesbian but he didn’t believe me so I’d kissed him and then he became exited. The trouble was I also became exited as we danced and then he touched me and smiled. ‘I swear that never said anything and he didn’t say anything to me either.’ We just separated and the the next thing I knew was the fracas started when the Wicked Witch through water at me.’

That’s why he waited for me and let his friends go risking getting into trouble with the police. He tried to explain that he had mixed feelings and that his former girlfriend had a high sex drive that he couldn’t handle. She liked to humiliate him in front of people to force him to be more aggressive but it made him more impotent. So he’d asked me if I was gay and if I was a transsexual. I’d told him didn’t think I was gay and that I had feelings for Sally as a woman but I wasn’t sure if this was sexual or not.

His brothers were giving him a hard time and he felt that he’d been attracted to me as a woman and not as a boy in a dress. He was sure that he was misunderstood and was glad to be rid of his girlfriend whose name is Becky. I’d said yes ‘Becky the Bovver Causer a nut case!!’ So he refers to as BB now if we talk about her.

By now it was almost 1-30pm so I had to rush back to work. I blew Jules a kiss and said sorry if I embarrassed her. She just laughed and said ‘Get lost Sis go do some deals!’.

It was a relief to be back in the office before Kate got back and I just sat down as she called me. She wanted me to prepare several sets of documents and take them to the Company lawyers for signature. I had to proof read the documents and eliminate any errors and check the financials and she was expecting no mistakes.

It took me 45 minutes and then I printed off the documents and took them to the 3rd floor to Ms Parkinson our legal officer. I just got back in time to greet Kate at the door with Mr Johnson and told her that she’d have the documents back in an hour. So Kate took Mr Johnson for a tour of the building.

I couldn’t see Peter Frampton or Katie and supposedly they’d gone ahead to another appointment. I didn’t miss him since he did make me feel awkward.

When I got back to my desk there was a message on my mobile phone.

Hi Gorgeous what you doing later? Please meet me on floor 3 at 4pm. I didn’t recognize the number.

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 16 The intrigue continues

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the telephone number list.

Until a few days ago that would have taken me all but 10 seconds but now I had at least one minutes worth. There was nobody on the list that had a number the same as this so I tried to call the number back but there was ‘no service’. Was it a joke from someone. Should I go or not?

I had to go back to see Ms Parkinson anyway to collect the documents sometime before 4pm. Did they know that?. I wondered if it was somebody who had worked with may or even maybe it was Peter Frampton..

I went to the bathroom to freshen up my face and looked around. I didn’t use the general ladies bathroom outside the office suite I’d chosen to use the board room bathroom for executives and visitors that Kate used. She had it nicely decorated and it smelled gorgeous. There was a single white lilly in a tall slender vase on the vanity unit and just the two stalls. It was expensively decorated with soft facial tissues and several small bottles of hand creams, facial creams, cologne and hand wash all in a matching set. Nothing like the boring mens room. There was even a small chair and a place to put my handbag. Even some nice smelling wipes. The toilet paper was soft as if a puppy would run off with it…… I used to love that advertisement on TV.

One thing I decided after looking at myself was that I should make a plan to have a shopping trip Julie to buy a better stock of make up since my current choice was limited and mostly from handed to me by her. Nothing I had was too expensive but just practical day to day make up so I thought if I was going to continue in this job working for Kate I needed to lift my standards to the level where I looked the part. I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in an executive loo! HaHa

As I freshened my lipstick in the mirror I looked closely at myself. I felt that really I should trim and shape my eyebrows and maybe even have my hair styled and tinted? I thought I might talk to Sally and Julie later. I wasn’t sure what mum would think though.
I looked at my lips and this was a good color. I did like it and my lips did seem to be more prominent after only these few days. Or had I just got more proficient. My skin seemed to be much softer and I put this down to the use of the night cream that Sally gave me. I was a borrower but I felt I needed to change.

I had to take off my heels and the cold tiled floor felt wonderful. My toes had been scrunched up and this was not a problem I’d experienced with my boy shoes. But I didn’t mind the inconvenience since I liked the look of my legs and certainly this had attracted the attention of Peter Frampton. Mmm I suddenly thought it could have been a text from him so I put on my shoes and went back to my desk to check his business card. No mobile phone number only the office number. I wasn’t sure I liked the idea.

I decided to call Sally to check that she was still on schedule and she said she’d leave work around 4pm to go shopping. She was looking forward to have a chat together and I said it was going to be my treat as a celebration of my new job. I said I wanted to discuss a few things including Birmingham. I said that if we went I would love to spend a few hours in a department store looking at make up and taking advice. But so far I had no time yet. When to fit these things in? She just laughed and said you are so girly!!

Kate came back about 3-30pm and I made some more coffee. Mr Johnson looked like he’d had too much wine but he wasn’t drunk just flushed. He seemed more friendly and he told me that Peter and Katie were due back shortly to attend the meeting to finalise the contract and that they would bring some invitations to attend a fashion show if I would like to attend with a friend. Kate smiled and winked.

I rang to check on progress with the review of the contract documents and a few comments had bee added that had been discussed with Kate and printing was in progress. The would be ready for collection in 10 minutes.

I went down to the third floor to gather them and it was 3-45pm as I entered the office. Ms Parkinson was there and her department secretay was just putting the documents into a leater document folder and I looked around half in relief and half in disappointment. Nobody was waiting for me. Perhaps it was more a relief than disappointment since I had enough to consider without any added complications.

Then as I walked towards the lift the door opened and out came Katie and Peter Frampton. ‘Hi Christine we were told to meet you here to check the documents before taking upstairs for signing.’

Oh no not him I thought and Ms Parkinson then interjected and invited us into the meeting room to sit down. Peter smiled at me and just said ‘Sorry it’s just my job or I get into trouble if there is a mistake.’

Katie smelled wonderful as she sat next to me and I asked her which perfume she was using. It was ‘Boss Woman’ that she showed me and I thought maybe I wasn’t ready for that yet. Peter looked over the table and said ‘You don’t need that, you smell sweet enough’. I shuddered since he said these things like he didn’t really mean them. I half expected the invitation from him to meet after work but to my relief he didn’t ask.
He rang Mr Johnson and then he and Kate decided to come downstairs so that Kate could talk to Ms Parkinson.

Katie then turned to me and opened her bag. She produced the invitations and said that she had been asked to give them to me and that she thought that I would enjoy it very much. She was organizing it and would be pleased if I came and if she had time she would show me back stage.

Then she said I looked gorgeous today and that I had a great boss who she really admired. Oh no surely not Katie? She just smiled and went to the water fountain in the corner just as Kate and Mr Johnson arrived.

I looked at Katie as she turned around and noticed that she was wearing an engagement ring. Surely she wasn’t interested in me.

Kate disappeared with Ms Parkinson for a few minutes and then came back to the meeting room so everybody was ready to sign. It was done in a few minutes and then Kate said ‘OK back upstairs since I have some more champagne on ice and that includes you Ms Parkinson and you Chrissy Taylor. I won’t take no for an answer’

I gathered the documents whilst they went to the lift and said I’d follow on.
I pressed the button and the second lift stopped and the door opened. 'Hi gorgeous'.

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 17 New Domestic arrives

I recognized the voice immediately. It was Jessica.
She had a big smile on her face. ‘ Hi gorgeous I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist my invitation’.

I wasn’t sure whether it was a joke or not but I wasn’t feeling very sociable towards her since I’d just found out from Julie that she was going to kick Sally out from her apartment. I was sure this was because of her jealousy and I was ready to say something awful to her but I thought better of it and bit my tongue. I never had such an angry feeling before. I just smiled as best I could through my teeth and thought I’d better see Sally first.

She asked if I had was doing anything and my answer was ‘Yes you know that I’m meeting Sally for a chat.’ ‘But I can’t stop just now since Kate is waiting for these documents and I have to go’.

.
Jessica looked at me and said she’d asked Anne to arrange something with the rest of the girls after work but she’d said I’d declined that wasn’t true of course. She then said she understood I might be available tomorrow night and asked me to call her later because she wanted to know if I was interested to move into her apartment so I could be more free to be Christine. I couldn’t contain myself and just said ‘Really and what about Sally she is supposed to be your friend?’ Are you joking?’

She just shrugged her shoulders and said Sally was getting on her nerves and I shouldn’t worry about her but think about myself.

’Then she said to think about it and to call her a bit later and she’d meet me somewhere away from the office or have lunch tomorrow to have a proper chat. I just said ‘I’ll call you later but I wanted to say ‘Get lost you little bitch!’

I hurried upstairs to Kates office as fast as the lift would take me and I was relieved that I hadn’t reacted. At least it wasn’t Peter Frampton who sent the message as I’d suspected but I don’t know whose phone Jessica had used to mislead me. At least I needn’t worry about Peter for now and I could be easier in his company and smile without feeling that I was egging him on.

Kate said ‘Come on Chrissy where have you been slow coach.’ She wanted some photographs of the signing ceremony so she’d arranged for our corporate PR office to send a photographer who was setting up his camera. I stood back and watched as Kate and Mr Johnson had photos taken and then a few more with Peter and Katie. Then Katie asked me to join them and I blushed but I couldn’t refuse. They wanted more drinking champagne but first Kate wanted one of me alone and winked and said this was for the Company magazine. On page 3! She smiled at me and apologized for her teasing but said ‘it would be nice to have a professional shot of me.’.

I then went to get the champagne that was a good excuse for me to ask Kate to have a photo taken with me to show mum and Julie. Less than two days into this job and I was drinking with the boss. Who would believe it?
They soon finished and Kate took them downstairs. I clea

red up Kates office and and was washing the glasses when she arrived back with the happiest face I’d ever seen. ‘That was a good days work Chrissy we deserve a bonus for that. She said I looked very domesticated in rubber gloves and teased me again by offering me a job as her ‘domestic’.

A little bit later she came over to me at my desk and said she’d arranged a gift for me for a pamper day and she gave me a print of the detailed itinerary that she’d downloaded.from the website. She said she might go with me if I didn’t mind and to think about it. Why was everybody suddenly interested in me as Chrissy and not as Chris. I was beginning to like the nickname but thought it might be nice to keep it between Kate and I.
At 5-30pm I told Kate that I was meeting Sally if she didn’t mind me leaving on time and she smiled and said to have a nice time and that she already appreciated my support. I felt really nice and just said ‘It is my pleasure.’

As I left the building it was raining a little bit so I tried to run to the bus shelter in my heels. This wasn’t easy and I had to take short little steps. The sound of my shoes tapping on the pavement made me feel especially feminine. I wished I’d got an umbrella but at least I could get shelter until the bus came. Shirley from reception was there and said ‘No lift tonight Christine?’ I told her I was meeting a friend and we then chatted about it until the bus arrived. I sent Sally a text and she replied to say she was just arriving at the wine bar.

It was only 3 stops to the top of George street where the restaurant was located but as I stepped off it was still raining. I popped into a little gift shop and bought an umbrella. Nothing too expensive but one that matched my handbag a little bit. Well at least no clash. My first gift to myself as Chrissy. I wanted to go shopping but would have to wait and just now most shops were closing as 6pm approached. Then I saw a nice bracelet with a lucky charm on it and couldn’t resist to buy it. It hung nicely from my wrist and had places to add more charms so I couldn’t resist it.

I put up the umbrella and walked down George street in the rain admiring myself in shop windows and thinking ‘Who’s that girl’. Several people hurried past me on their way home and some smiled whilst others put their heads down. I didn’t feel awkward at all and was more and more confident to walk out alone. It was still quite light so I felt fairly safe. But I realized that I needed to take much more care as Chrissy where I walked and who I looked at.

As I walked in the wine bar I was almost knocked over as Sally bounded towards me and hugged me. She kissed me lightly on the lips and I sensed the barman was watching so I tried not to encourage Sally any more and I was a little bit wet to give her a hug.

As I took off my coat she saw the bracelet and commented that she liked it. I told her I’d just bought it together with the umbrella and that I’d seen a matching necklace with silver hearts but couldn’t afford it.

We sat in a small alcove and I ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio and then we looked around to see that the restaurant was already half full. Sally had confirmed our booking for 6-45pm and so we settled safely into our seats where we could explore the menu together. I’d never been out much like this so it was a nice feeling. Here I was with a girlfriend but not as Chris as everybody might have expected but as Chrissy Taylor PA and part time ‘domestic’.

Sally didn’t seem too upset as I thought she might be. I told her I’d met Julie at lunchtime who said that she’d been told Sally and Jessica had fallen out and Sally was moving out of her apartment. Sally said not to worry she had a month to find another place and she’d decided it was time to move on. Then she said it would be nice to find a new house or flat mate and hoped that someone she knew might be interested to move in and share with her. I was embarrassed and put my arm around her. She is so sweet.
She said ‘Interested?’

I laughed a little bit and said if she could wait a few weeks I might be very interested but that I needed time with mum and Julie and to see if I could live like this on a more permanent basis. She gave me a hug and linked arms and we said ‘cheers’.
Then we selected a bottle of wine and focused on the menu. Sally chose Thai fishcakes as a starter and I opted for some smoked salmon and rocket salad. We decided to have halibut fish for the main course with a portion of mashed potatoes and some green vegetables and then we moved through to the table.

We chatted for ages about the weekend and how much we’d enjoyed sharing and once or twice we touched hands until interrupted by something or a waiter. We agreed we’d go to Birmingham so I sent a text to James and within 20 seconds came back ‘Great!!!!’ Mmm I thought how to arrange this and fit in some shopping before I went. Then I realized I still had to see the things that Julie had bought for me and that I needed to talk to mum and go to the hairdresser and buy some make-up and go out with the girls and wondered if I’d ever get chance to find some ‘Chrissy relax time’.

I wanted a proper suitcase and another bag and maybe I should pick up some shoes. I should buy at least 3 or 4 pairs I thought. Then back to dinner and we both were enjoying it so much. It was more expensive than I thought but since I considered this to be a celebration of my ‘coming out’ with a new best friend I decided to pay.

It was soon 10 pm so we thought we’d better get moving and take a taxi from the rank. I used my credit card that said C Taylor and luckily it was accepted without any questions. It had stopped raining as we walked to the rank.

We hugged and kissed and Sally took the first cab and I took the second. The driver was a young guy about my age. I was nervous sitting alone as Chrissy so we didn’t speak and I tried to avoid his stares in the mirror.
As we pulled up he took the money and said “ know someone who lives here.’

To be continued….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 18 Memories in a Box

I turned and looked as he wound down the passenger window. ‘Taylor Is that you. You fag I thought it was you when you got in the car. You little puff what are you doing dressed like that?’

I froze. Oh no I knew it couldn’t last. I had been so confident and now I felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole. Then I surprised myself by recovering my composure and I spoke ‘Do you mind. Who do you think you are talking to? Taylor is my brother. No need to be so rude calling him a puff. Who do you think you are?’

I saw that it was Selwyn Robinson who used to be in my class at school and who bullied me in the first year. He looked a bit rough even though he came from a nice family. The leering smile left his face and he just said “huh’ then he sped off. I walked up the drive and as I unlocked the door I just wanted to burst into tears. My confidence was shattered and I had to hide.

Julie was coming out of the kitchen and saw my tears as I took a tissue out of my bag. ‘What’s wrong?’. I told her what happened and she said I was quick witted and gave a good answer but that these are the incidents that I’ll have to face which is what mum and her had tried to tell me.

I took off my shoes and popped on some slippers and we went through to the lounge to see mum. Julie said ‘come on cheer up I’ve lots to show you, don’t take any notice of what he said. You are my Sis’ .

Mum gave me a hug and then I hugged both of them together for 2 or 3 minutes before mum said she’d make some tea.
The sofa had lots of bags strewn over it from Julies shopping trip and Julie said ‘Come on it’s just like Christmas’.

It was better than any Christmas and I didn’t know where to start. So Julie took over and after sipping some tea we explored the contents of each bag one by one. These were all for me and mum said she’d moved some things from my room to make space for these things. The underwear was so expensive and moreso than that I’d bought with Sally in Birmingham.

I couldn’t believe the prices on the tabs especially since it all came from Marks & Spencers. Julie said that the quality was very good and that I should realize that the best underwear is essential for any girl with high standards. I had to wear the best just in case I was ever run down by a bus or tripped up in my heels and broke an ankle.

Even though she was a bit younger than me she was very mature and always could make me smile.

Also she said I could afford it since as Chris I’d never spent much money because I never went out. Now she was going to show me how to improve the quality of my life and she’d always wished she’d had a sister rather than a brother. Mum was looking on with the occasional shake of her head but she kept smiling at us chatting together.

I couldn’t wait to try on the underwear since it was so nice. Sis had bought me several pairs of panties in various colours so that I had a good stock. I liked the ones with frilled edges and small bows. My favorite colors were the purple and the mauve.

I tried on some black trousers and Julie had bought a pair in size 12 and a pair in size 14 that is her size and said she thought I was slightly slimmer than her. Anyway she laughed and said lots of people do returns. The 12’s were a little tight on the waist but I felt that since they fitted well around the bum I’d ensure that they fitted perfectly by controlling my diet.

She had also bought me a black skirt of my own and another grey one since she felt I should look like a PA rather than a run of the mill secretary. She’d bought two blouses as well as a selection of lightweight jumpers and tee shirts. I loved one deep pink tight jumper that had a small roll collar and thought it would look nice with the black leggings that Sally had persuaded me to buy. She’d bought more tights and hold ups in various shades with my favorites being the 10 denier hold ups.

She bought me two pairs of black shoes, one with a 11/2” heel and the other pair had a 3” heel that I wasn’t sure I could wear. “These are for practice and then for nights out and not for daywear at work’ she said.

I was about to go upstairs to shower and try some on but mum asked us to sit with her on the sofa since she wanted to show me some old photos from an album she’d retrieved from the attic bedroom.

Just then I got a text from Sally to say she was home safe and to thank me for a great time and to call her if I could. I replied and said I’d call her in 30 minutes from my room for a short goodnight chat. Then I thought I’d better send a quick text to James to say I’d met Sally and we were ‘on’ for the weekend. He came back a few seconds later and said everything was arranged since he’d been absolutely sure we’d go.

Mum said to Julie that I’d really changed and now I was never off the phone or texting and she never had time to see me. She wanted to know what happened to her nice gentle son?
I smiled and said sorry then we all snuggled up on the sofa to look at the album.

First she showed us some photos of her with her mum and dad at Blackpool and then some more in Cornwall. She had lots of different photos but a lot had been cut with a person removed. She had tears in her eyes when I asked why. She said they’d cut off aunty Judy. We cuddled her more and I linked arms with her so Julie did the same at the other side.

I turned the pages and then asked why Aunt Judith had been cut off since they were sisters.

Mum said that they’d all been so sad so her mum had asked for all her photos of Aunt Judith to put them in a special album that her mum had wanted to be prepared. She then had decided to keep the album close by in a beautiful cabinet at the side of her chair that mum said was her memory chest of Judith. She would look at it every day for the rest of her life. Judith was her eldest daughter and had been very special because she’d almost died when she was young

I recalled that Gran had not allowed us near the cabinet and in fact she was never very friendly towards me that caused arguments between my mum and dad. Julie and were never allowed to go near this cabinet and we thought it was Grans private treasure chest that we might inherit one day. Julie said it was full of her jewels.

Then mum turned to the back page of the album where she’d got a pocket that had been inserted. She lifted a flap and Inside it were several photos of her and Aunt Judith. They were in there early twenties and mum had long dark hair and Aunt Judith had honey blonde hair that mum said was dyed. She smiled and said that her mum had told her not to do this but Judith was strong willed and ignored her.

I tried to take the photos for a closer look but mum hung on to them and held them to her heart, then she kissed them and one by one and she passed them to me. Julie shrieked and said ‘Chrissy just look it’s like looking at you! It’s amazing how you look just like her. mum is right’ Just a minute’ She shot upstairs.

As I turned to mum I could see she saw the likeness too. Julie came back with a honey blond wig and she combed it and placed it on my head and pulled it into position. Mum burst into tears and then Julie said ‘look in the mirror’ and then both Julie and I started as well. Julie took a photo of me with her mobile phone and then another with mum and me. She held the photo next to the phone image and I could see what they both meant. Aunt Judith and I shared the same facial expressions.

I asked mum if she and Aunt Judy were close as Julie and I and she said that they were so close that everybody said they were joined at the hip. My dad liked Aunt Judith and had often said to mum that the final choice was very difficult for him.

I liked the style of the wig and said I’d like to grow my hair to the same length.
Then mum turned to me and said that she’d been to see Gran that morning which was the reason why she didn’t go shopping with Julie. She’d looked at the memory chest with Gran and they’d both laughed and cried and enjoyed some stories of Aunt Judy.

Then mum turned to me and said ‘Chris I want you to do something for me’

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 19 A little family history unearthed

I looked at mum and said ‘What do you mean?’

Then mum paused and squeezed my hand and said that Gran had never gotten over the tragic loss of Judith that had a massive effect on her life and our lives. It had eventually driven dad away and Gran had not been able to show proper affection to anybody and particularly to Julie and I.

Mum wanted to try to bring us all back together and she wanted me to go with her to see Gran as soon as possible but as Christine rather than as Chris. Gran’s health was deteriorating and mum was concerned that she would get worse rather than recover.

I just squeezed her hand in return and said ‘Of course I will because of your support to me and because Gran is your mum and our family responsibility .’ She said ‘Oh Chris you make such a wonderful daughter and I you give me much more strength and belief than I had before.’ Julie couldn’t resist to join in and snuggled under mums other arm.’Sorry Julie you know that I didn’t mean to exclude you and she kissed her forehead.’ Julie gave me a little smirk.

Mum asked us both to forgive Gran for not being able to ever come to terms with the loss of Judith and how it had prevented a normal relationship between a grand parent and her nephew and neice. Julie then went very quiet since when dad left home she had been really upset , much more than me in fact. Also she had been keeping contact with him without mum knowing.

I said for mum to let me know how and when I could help and I’d gladly support her. She smiled at me and said it was wonderful to see the change in me and hoped that we could all stick together to face the challenges. She wanted me to be happy and said at least now I had a girlfriend! She laughed as she said it as her joke. I kissed her gently on the cheek and tasted her tears. She said she liked my lipstick but not all over her face and we all laughed again.

Mum then put her album by her chair and we decided it was time to go to bed. I needed to call Sally so I bagged first to use the bathroom. I quickly showered and removed my make-up then changed to a clean nighty and into my dressing gown.

I jumped into bed and called Sally. She was waiting and I apologized for the delay but she’d been reading to stay awake. We chatted for a while and I told her about everything that happened so she was soon sniffing away and said she thought life had been very cruel to mum and Gran.

We could hardly find time or the feelings to talk about my new wardrobe or our dinner together so Sally said we should wait and talk tomorrow. She said she’d had a talk to Jessica so she wanted my advice. That almost meant we started again but we just decided to whisper good night to each other and then I turned out my light.

As I snuggled down feeling nice in the silk the door opened and Julie came into my room. She asked if she could have a snuggle because she felt so sad. She was cold, especially her feet but I didn’t mind at all. We chatted for a while about Gran and why mum wanted me to visit her. She said I looked lovely in her wig and that I should grow my hair and color it. I said ‘Give me chance since it’s only been a few days’. She tickled me.

We were soon fast asleep and the next thing I knew mum was knocking on my door saying that I’d be late if I didn’t get up. Julie opened an eye and said she’d drive me to work because she wanted to go into town to sort some things out for her boyfriends birthday. I’d forgotten all about it because she’d spent so much time looking after me.

I showered and washed my hair and Julie helped my to wrap it in a towel and we went down to breakfast in our dressing gowns. Mum had boiled some eggs but I only had one and a small bowl of Special K. Julie had my second egg and an extra piece of toast that I’d declined. Mum was tut tutting.

I dressed in my new black skirt with a white blouse taking care to choose a white bra that could be seen a little bit through the blouse. Julie loaned me a matching necklace and bracelet and I quickly applied my make-up. I moused my hair and Julie styled it as best she could and then found some clip on earings.

Then she loaned me a deep purple jacket that matched nicely with my black skirt and heels so I felt like a real PA. I borrowed a black shoulderbag and quickly transferred everything from my own bag.

Mum said I looked nice so I left the house in a much more confident way than I’d arrived home the previous night.

When I arrived at work I met Anne in reception talking to Shirley. She reminded me that we were due to meet up after work and that everybody in the office was coming. She’d decided on meeting at an Indian restaurant if I agreed since the cost wouldn’t be so high.It was OK for me even though I thought I might regret it later. At least it was just a short walk from the office and we could have a drink at a bar next to our office building that had ‘Happy Hour’ from 5pm to 7pm.

I was just brewing coffee when Kate arrived and she wished me good morning and presented me with a small bunch of pink carnations that she’d bought at the petrol station on her way to work. I was taken by surprise since these were the first flowers I’d ever received. Kate said she did it on purpose to make me feel special and I blushed and said thanks. She showed me where to find a vase and I cut the stems a little and put them in water placing the vase on the corner of my desk.

Then Kate gave me a small parcel as a welcome gift. I opened it to find a silk scarf in black & with silver circles. I loved it and it matched my outfit so I thought I could wear it after work. I was most grateful and Kate smiled and said that she was very happy to see me smile and hoped this could be the start of a long friendship. I went with her to her office and took her coffee that she said was breakfast.

As I sat down she noticed my new skirt and blouse and remarked how nice I looked. Then she gave me a list of things she wanted me to do starting with a visit to HR to tidy up the mess from earlier in the week that she’d sorted out.

Then a large bouquet of flowers arrived for Kate to say thank you to her for a very professional negotiation and closure the day before. Kate said it was a great deal for the Company and that she’d been delighted to outsmart our competition. She was expecting significant growth in our turnover and hoped that I could be involved with Peter and Katie as weeks passed.

I was feeling much more appreciated with direct involvement with Kate and wanted to show her that I wasn’t just ‘a pretty face’. HaHa that was my joke to myself. Maybe it is easier to make a mark with this Company as a woman than it had been as a man or maybe I was just in the right place at the right time.

The interview with HR was straight forward and I signed some documents that had been prepared that said I was working as Christine Taylor until further notice without any pressure from the Company and that I wouldn’t make any claims for harassment or hold the Company liable for anything that happened as a consequence of complaints from colleagues or customers. It also confirmed my secondment to work as PA to the Managing Director. Then I couldn’t believe what I read. Kate had increased my salary by almost 50%. Wow!!! I was on a high for the rest of the morning and couldn’t wait to call Julie and Sally to give them the news.

I had a snack lunch in the office and it gave me chance to call Sally.
She also stayed in and was hoping that I would call. I felt better than the night before and described what Julie had bought and we discussed what we would be wearing at the weekend. I decided to travel in leggings and take trousers and jeans rather than skirts or dresses and Sally said she’d do the same.

Then she said she'd tell me what Jessica had said to her.

To be continued …..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 20 Broken friendships

I was taken aback to find that Jessica had told Sally that she had a new tenant who wanted to move in quickly so had she finalized anything yet. Sally had got angry and told Jessica she was stupid and jealous and had no right to kick her out. How on earth could she be expected to just up and move.

It had then turned into a big argument and Mary Jo, their flatmate, had had to intervene. Sally had smashed some plates on the floor and thrown a cup of cold cocoa at her that went over Jessicas best jumper so Jessica had flown at her in a rage before Mary Jo pulled them apart. But not before she’d scratched Sallys face and drawn blood.

So Sally had decided to leave and stay out of her way. She had immediately started packing her belongings ready to leave today or tomorrow and decided to look for some temporary accommodation. She’d just had an offer to stay in a B&B or as an alternative she could still return home if necessary. As a last resort she could ask me!!

Poor Sally. I felt like scratching out Jessicas eyes. Why was she so awful to a friend after all this time together? Sally was remarkedly calm and I felt that this was because Jessica was such a bully. I realized that I had to help Sally and sooner rather than later.
I did tell Sally my feelings. I wanted to scratch out Jessicas eyes but she just said to calm down since after a while she realized she couldn’t do anything about it so her words were ‘let’s not get mad, let’s get even.’ This calmed me down a lot because she’d not been deeply upset but I still felt angry with Jessica. I wanted to slap her face when I saw her next and tell her she is the most cruel person to do this at a time when Sally is still vulnerable and frightened to be alone.

Then Sally asked me if I’d thought about why I’d made an impression on Kate Harper and why she’d offered me a job as her temporary PA. I said ‘Just right place and right time I suppose’. She laughed and said ‘I don’t think so Chrissy Taylor, her real reason I mean even though it’s true you were right place right time.’

‘Do you think she might fancy you? Did she ever say anything or do anything that suggests she does or did someone persuade her or recommend you to her? Think who might have done that.’ She said I seemed to have a good relationship with Kate so if we could find the reason then we might take the opportunity to sort out Jessica who had seemed to change her personality since she got promoted.

She said I should develop my relationship with Kate and then as she finds out about Jessica I might be put in charge of the department once she realized that Jessica wasn’t a good Manager. I just wasn’t sure since I liked working for Kate and it was early days so I didn’t want to go back to the office environment if I could avoid it even though I liked the girls.

But it did make me think about when I’d helped Kate that first time. She had smiled at me and looked at me closely. Maybe she liked women that explained her strategy to use female management in key positions. I wondered if she had a relationship with anybody and if I’d just attracted her because of my apparent femininity. Maybe she likes masculine women or maybe she just likes to demasculate men. I felt that I had to get to know Kate a lot more before I could talk openly to her.

I said to Sally that maybe Kate and Jessica had a close relationship or maybe even a friendship. It was a surprise to me that we’d gone to the gay bar in Birmingham so did she think that Jessica liked women and if so why was she apparently interested in me or in spoiling the friendship between Sally and I.

Sally thought that Jessica had relationships before with several women and a closeness to Mary Jo. She said that it was difficult to believe that Kate would waste time with her and I shouldn’t worry about that. ‘Jessica is too working class’ she said. ‘Kate will be interested in somebody at a much higher level.’

So Sally set me thinking and I agreed to talk later to share our thoughts some more. She agreed to let me know how she went on with accommodation and I said she should come to my house and stay until she found something and that mum wouldn’t mind since we have a guestroom with a sofa bed. She said she would text me to let me know so I could call her if I had chance to talk.

When we finished I decided to call Anne to check the arrangements for that evening and to find out if Jessica was still going. She said we were all meeting at 5-45pm at ‘Harry’s Bar’ about 5 minutes from the office and that Jessica was going. Anne said she’d walk with me if I liked that I liked very much. Anne is so nice and gave me confidence in myself the previous weekend and in the office. I felt she was the real reason why Jessica had managed to run the office because Anne had more people skills and more maturity. She asked me if I was OK and if I was enjoying myself working upstairs. I couldn’t express my true feelings since I had been floating on air all week.

I just said that Kate was wonderful and that I wanted to improve and show that I could do this job. I felt like I could be myself because there weren’t too many people watching me so if I made any mistakes there was no risk of rude remarks and no prejudice.

When Kate came back from lunch she brought me another gift. She said she’d found a spare Gucci handbag in her apartment the night before and collected it from her car. She wanted me to have it if I didn’t mind because it had been a gift that she didn’t need. Did I mind to have a second hand bag? I was so pleased since this was much better quality than the ones I had bought and I just said ‘thanks Ms Harper. She laughed and said ‘You are welcome Ms Taylor but my name is Kate to you’. She looked into my eyes and all I could think of was what Sally said and if Kate giving me these gifts for friendship or to improve my image. Either way I liked it since Chris never got any gifts.

Then Kate asked me to come into her office because she wanted to talk to me since she’d had a call from the local newspaper.office whilst at lunch .

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 21 Girly time.
Kate asked me to sit down on a leather chair whilst she sat on the sofa. I felt a little conspicuous sitting in a skirt and tried to be as feminine as possible. She said to relax and asked how I was feeling in this new role and in the new job. What could I say it was like a dream or a wonderful adventure and I not had time to take it all in. It all seemed like a blurr..

I thanked her for her support and kindness and said I was really enjoying to work for her and that in less than 1 week my life had been turned on it’s end. I felt like I’d woke up from a deep sleep and could suddenly see. She smiled and held my hand and said that I was very brave and that she had been really impressed.

Then she sat back and told me about the call she’d had from the local newspaper.
Somebody had rung one of the reporters to say that our Company was employing someone who’d had a sex change and was living with Kate. The caller was someone from the junior staff who had complained about a man using the ladies toilets and preferential treatment. The newspaper wanted to send a photographer but since the editor was a friend of Kates she’d stopped it and called Kate to tell her. .

Kate said that they’d dealt with it but it could raise its head again so better to be forewarned. So far Kate said her friend wouldn’t disclose the source but she said she’d let her know the person if it happened again. I think that Kate had an idea who it was but she said best to let it drop.
Then she asked if I was comfortable with the situation and if I was OK to carry on working for her. She said that she’d protect me as much as she could. As compensation she’d given the editor a nice story about the latest business developments after the signing of the agreement with Mr Johnson. Kate said they were friends at the Girls High School so she’d be meeting up sometime to have a chat.

She asked if anybody had been making life difficult for me or causing problems. I declined to say anything although I did wonder if Jessica had been behind this and I couldn’t think of anybody else who had been anything but kind.

We sat for a while and Kate asked how my family were reacting and so I told her about the support from Mum and Julie and about Gran and Aunt Judith. She said I was lucky to have such a supportive sister and if she could help then just let her know. I told her that I was going to visit Gran together with mum and she asked me to tell her how it went. She said she felt that Gran had really suffered and something must be behind it all. It must be a deep family problem.

Then the phone rang and Kate was distracted so I excused myself and went back to my desk. I felt so lucky that I’d had the fortune to meet Kate that day in the lift. I was like most of our staff and never realized just how kind and beautiful she is since she has an image of being a workaholic, firm and strong as a business leader.

She’d started to load me with jobs to do for her that involved some customer and supplier cold telephone calls. It was giving me lots of chance to develop my voice skills and I was chatted up a few times even though nobody had met me. I enjoyed talking to 2 suppliers and listening to their flattery and exchanged e-mail addresses with most people. One female supplier encouraged me to join facebook that I agreed to set up later.

My contact list was now really developing and so I thought I’d better be more organized with records of names and addresses. I set up my own data base and decided that as time permitted I’d research the key Companies on the internet. I also thought I’d do a little research about Kate Harper and build up a profile of her. She was becoming a role model for me. I really admired her.

The afternoon passed so quickly and around 5pm Anne called me to check I was finishing on time. I popped into Kates office and she said she didn’t need me to stay late and that she might be around until 7-30pm but I should go on time. So I made her a fresh batch of coffee and then freshened up and said goodnight.

I had my new Gucci handbag and she smiled as I ensured that she saw it. She smiled and said that I looked really smart and that she’d treat me to lunch or dinner if I was available later in the week. I wasn’t sure whether or not she was just being nice so I smiled and acknowledged the invitation without committing.

.
Anne was waiting reception when I arrived and said that the others had already set off. She looked especially nice in a lightweight leopard print raincoat and she was wearingh black trousers and high heeled black ankle boots. The heels were quite high so she was taller than me despite my own heels. She spotted my Gucci bag and said I looked nice and I just had to complement her on her style. I wanted to buy some ankle boots like that so I asked her where she had bought them.

She held onto my arm because she said it was difficult to walk fast and we chaated all the way to Harrys bar. I remember thinking that Anne was looking much younger than twelve months before and that her style had changed. I asked her if she had a new man in her life and she giggled and hit my arm playfully.

We arrived at the bar and the girls were just being served. I wasn’t sure if it was Harry or not but I doubted it because the guy serving seemed a little young and good looking to own a bar near the centre of town. He looked like he was a student. He smiled at us and told us to sit down and he’d bring all the drinks over.

Jessica had taken charge and ordered 2 bottles Italian Prosecco wine and some olives and dips. I was a bit surprised since she seemed more of a lager person and this wine selection was impressive. We all liked it and Jake, the barman, said he’d have brought some strawberries if he’d known.

I sat with Anne and Lisa and we chatted about the previous weekend. Lisa asked me if I’d seen Sally since we got back and I told her we’d been in touch and we’d met up. She was a little suggestive with a ‘nug nug wink wink’ and then said ‘And James? Is he still in the frame?’

They all giggled and I went red. Then Anne said to take no notice of them and said they were just jealous. Really I was pleased to have this banter even though I was a little bit embarrassed.

Jessica was sitting in the next booth and kept looking across towards me. I tried to ignore her but her eyes were intense. It was strange to be subjected to this approach. I was a bit angry with her and still felt like I wanted to slap her. She seemed to be wanting to talk but I tried to ignore her by turning my back.

Jessica kept filling my glass and I tried my best to refuse. It seemed like she was trying to get me drunk. Eventually I had to use the bathroom and I waited until I could see my chance whilst nobody was watching. As I left the bar a message came to my mobile. It was from Sally!

To be continued….. .

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 22 Another Fun Night

‘Please call me if you can — I need to talk to you’.

I had to go downstairs to the bathroom and there were 2 girls chatting as I went inside. I was a little hesitant at first but since I was a bit uncomfortable I decided I had no choice. It was impossible to go into a mens bathroom these days dressed as I was and luckily so far I didn’t have any adverse reaction but I’d still had a few quizzical looks. Nevertheless I was feeling more confident each day..

I touched up my make-up and the two girls watched me hardly talking and were obviously either suspicious or they were waiting for me to leave so they could continue..
Outside the bathroom I decided to call Sally even though the signal wasn’t great downstairs..

I managed to speak to her even though I lost her a couple of times.She told me that she didn’t want to return to the flat tonight and see Jessica when she’d been out drinking with me because she expected her to be funny with her.. Sallys friend was going to let her stay with her but she had let her down and decided to go out with other friends and so I think that Sally hoped she could stay at my house..

Sally was tearful and upset and she was talking about taking a train home to her mother but it was too far and she’d not be able to go to work tomorrow if she did.
I told her to get some overnight things and then go to my house and I’d call Julie and get back as soon as I could.

She feigned resistance for a while but then I said I’d call Julie to meet her so she accepted.We wer lucky since Julie said she’d go back home from her boyfriends house and look after her until I got there . She is a great sister..

I called mum who was calm and collected and just said to leave it with her and no problem to help. She said not to rush if Julie was going home.
I went back to the bar and by now a decision had been made to stay in the wine bar to watch a singer and to order some tapas. I agreed but then no point for me to argue anyway since I had no idea about City Centre venues since I never went out in town much before. It was all fairly new to me.

I had to make a selection from the menu like everybody else and then we’d all share. I selected spicy prawns in garlic sauce and everybody laughed saying ‘no kissing tonight then Chrissy?’ My nickname was beginning to spread.

Jessica ordered some house white wine and 2 bottles of house red wine. I was sure now that she wanted everybody to get drunk and that she might focus on me. I took care to drink a lot of water but my wine glass seemed to be permanently full.

The food kept coming and we all shared what was on the plates. There wasn’t much that I didn’t like if anything. I wished I’d done this before and couldn’t wait to introduce Julie and her boyfriend to this bar.

The singer/keyboard player arrived and started to chat us up. The bar was starting to fill since it was now 7-30pm. I was feeling a little bit drunk so I thought that I might go shortly. Jessica was now sitting with me and had swopped seats. She said that this evening was a special treat from her and that she would pay for me as a thank you for supporting her. On the contrary I felt like pushing her off her stool since she had taken advantage of me and stolen the job that I expected to have.

She was touching my knee and said she was surprised how beautiful I was these days. I wasn’t sure if she was serious or not but she said that she hoped we could be good friends. I asked ‘What about Mary Jo and Sally?’ ‘Aren’t they your friends anymore?’ Why are you being so awful to Sally?

She just smirked and denied that she was being awful and just said that Sally had become boring since her boyfriend had beaten her up. She said she would prefer if I was sharing the flat and that it was available if I was interested. I just said ‘How could you think that I’d see a friend evicted for me? What type of person do you think I am.

She just laughed and said ‘I don’t know anymore. I used to know you were boring and quiet. Maybe if you took a share of my flat then I could find out.’

I just gave her a look of disgust and she stopped smiling. ‘I don’t like your sense of humour these days Jessica. It’s not very funny and you should be careful who you upset..’ Jessica just said I should be more grown up and that life was too short to worry about feelings.

Anne sensed she should come over and said that we should stop arguing and relax because the singer was about to start.

We sat back in our seats and as soon as he started to sing the whole bar paid attention. He was good. Lisa and Liz decided he was like one of Westlife singers. They said ‘you know the little one’ . I had no idea who they meant.

They pretended to swoon and that they’d fallen in love with him and were going to get his autograph and nominate him for Xfactor. We were all laughing by now and the singer was smiling across at them.

Some couples came into the bar soon most tables were full. It was a good atmosphere and the owner must have been very pleased. So Anne ordered some more food selecting a seafood paella that we would share during the singers break. Then Jessica ordered some more expensive Spanish red wine to accompany it with extra glasses for 2 guys on the next table who had started flirting with her. She liked to be the centre of attention and to look like she was the boss treating her employees.

Anne whispered that she wasn’t staying much longer because she had to get home and did I want to leave with her. I was grateful since Jessica was becoming too much but I needed to time my exit for when the singer came on again later.

When the paella arrived it was soon devoured and the 2 guys moved in a bit and tried some. They were still focused more on Jessica and by now Jane had joined them. I was surprised since she was supposed to be married soon and I wouldn’t expect that she showed interest.

Jessica looked across at me and then asked me to meet her new friends Adam and Sam. I shook hands with Adam and he commented that I looked different to the others and looked like I was a Manager. Jessica gave me a really dirty look and I blushed. I said that I’d been to a meeting in the afternoon and had to dress more smart than usual but thanks for the nice complement. Jessica said that I had been the office junior working for her until recently and that she’d promoted me and taught me how to improve my appearance.

I couldn’t believe my own ears. They said they were going into town later if we all wanted to go and I smiled but didn’t answer. Jessica said it was a great idea so they assumed we all said yes. Sam put his arm around my waist but I tried to wriggle free. I didn’t want to be rude but I was not happy to get involved and I felt I should try to leave if I could when Anne was ready.
The singer started aga

in so that was our chance so Anne and I whispered to Lisa that we were going and we sneaked out whilst Jessica was chatting away to adam. She was trying to arrange something so I felt we should escape quickly.

I said thanks to Anne as we left together and she was going for a bus but I needed to go through the precinct to the taxi stand so we kissed and left in opposite directions.
As I walked I realized that I might have been too brave since walking alone in the city at 9pm wasn’t so easy as it was in daylight and a few people were walking between pubs and bars. I tried to hurry but walking in a skirt and heels wasn’t easy for me. I had to take smaller steps and my feet were aching as well. As I looked in the shop windows I could see my reflection.

I looked OK and felt really feminine. I enjoyed the feel of the cold air around my legs but really I had no time to dally since I wanted to get home to see Sally.
As I approached the taxi stand there was a gang of lads congregated who were drinking cans of lager. I thought ‘Just my luck’ I hesitated and thought to turn towards the railway station to go to another rank. As I tried to cross the road one of them shouted a remark to me and I was starting to get nervous. He said ‘Hey look it’s Nancy Taylor.’ What’s ‘she doing in town? On the game?’ Ahh it was all I needed. I knew who it was from my taxi ride home.

They circled me and one of them pulled my bag from my shoulder. Another flicked up my skirt and said ‘nice legs dear. How about your bum? Let’s have a look.’ He pushed me backwards towards a signpost and I hit my head. Then he lifted my coat and I tried to hold my skirt as tightly as I could. I managed to get my bag but the strap broke and then so did the heel of my shoe. One guy came towards me for a kiss and I pushed him backwards so he fell over. They started to come towards me again and I wanted to scream. I looked around for help but nobody wanted to know. I hit out with my bag and they were laughing at me.

Then there was a loud revving sound and a horn blasted and car headlights shone into all our faces.

The passenger door opened for me and I looked inside to see who it was……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 23 Rescue Ranger

I looked past the bright headlights and it was my boss Kate Harper. She quickly beckoned me to get inside the car and then wound her window down to give the guys a piece of her mind as she drove off.

I was so relieved and yet I felt a cold shudder down my spine. ‘Put on your seatbelt. I thought it was you as I pulled out of the railway station’ she said. ‘What happened. Where are the others? What were you doing alone?’

I explained what had happened and why I needed to go home early taking care not to say anything about Jessica. She drove slowly until she knew I was OK and then insisted to drive me home asking me which direction to take. ‘You were lucky that I stayed late talking with Dave Roberts about you and just dropped him off for his train’. He was right that you would have a lot to contend with yet and he is very concerned about you’.

I said that I never expected to come across a group so early in the evening and that I knew one of them from school. She just touched my hand and said we should leave it over until tomorrow morning if I preferred although she was happy to come in to meet mum and have a chat. I thanked her but decided I’d better deal with Sally first and think about me later.

Fifteen minutes later we were home and Kate unlocked the doors and got out of the car to inspect me and ensure that I was straight. ‘She said she’d get the bag repaired and that I looked fine. I took off my shoes because of the broken heel to walk barefeet up the drive. Julies car was there.

Kate hugged me and kissed my cheek and said goodnight and I thanked her. I waved as she turned around and drove back out of the avenue. I was lucky she had been around.

I opened the door and took off my coat and my slippers were waiting by the radiator. Good old mum. Just what I needed to warm my toes. As I entered the lounge Sally came over to greet me but with a kiss on the lips so I blushed. Mum and Julie looked at each other and smiled.

Sally said she was so sorry to call me but that she’d been upset thinking about her situation and panicked. Mum and Julie had welcomed her with tea and a sandwich. One of mums doorstoppers I expect. They had been looking at some photos and I could see the ones of Aunt Judith. Mum just said ‘Sorry dear but we were passing time and I was showing Sally some photos of you and Julie and then of Aunt Judith.’ Sally said ‘It’s amazing absolutely amazing’.

Mum made some fresh tea and we all sat down. I was ready for it after the shock but chose not to say anything except my heel had broken and that Kate had come to my rescue. Julie couldn’t resist to say ‘Your hero rides again. You’d better watch out Sally or she might like the fast car jet setter image’. She laughed of course and apologized for teasing.

Mum had already shown Sally the spare room and found her a pair of hotel slippers she’d brought back from a trip to London. It was nice to be safely home in the warm and Sally seemed to have struck up a friendship already with Julie and mum and had been telling them about her family and where she’d grown up. They would have been able to write a book if I’d left them to it any longer.

I sat on the sofa next to Sally and then mum said she could stay as long as she liked if she was uncomfortable to be in the apartment with Jessica. At least until she found some alternative and more permanent option. Sally was starting to waiver I could tell she was tempted. Then I said we were going to Birmingham on Friday evening anyway so maybe that helped as well. Sally said it would be nice if she could bring a few things around tomorrow afternoon so she could stay over and then consider more over the weekend.

Julie put some music on and we sat back to relax a little bit and mum told us she’d been to see Gran earlier and was relieved that she was a little bit better and now had accepted that mum arrange to take her for a medical check on Friday and to discuss with our family doctor about some health visitor arrangements since Gran was adamant to live alone and keep her house intact.

Mum seemed relieved to talk about it and I guess it made Sally feel more welcome as well. Mum then asked if I’d visit Gran with her after work tomorrow and if Julie might like to make supper and then her boyfriend and Sally could join us and so Sally said she’d like to help Julie if that was OK and make a contribution. Julie laughed and said it was time she considered Gary but reminded us that as yet sh’d not mentioned about Chris-Chrissy and so best to keep this going until she felt the time was right to tell him.

She smiled and said he kept talking about me and asking if I’d got a boyfriend and would I like to go to his birthday celebration. She said he would be happy sitting with mum and ‘3 girls’ so he could show off.

Mum decided she’d go up to bed and then Julie went to call Gary so I it gave Sally and I chance to chat. ‘Just then a song came on ‘Your just too good to be true, I can’t take my eyes off you’ and we laughed. I looked at her and she just said ‘Your just too good to be true’ and we hugged. There is something about a hug and especially when it’s a friend. By now I really felt my breasts were sensitive and as I felt Sallys warm bosom I wished mine was as full and ‘all mine’.

Then I said we should contact James to sort the details out for Birmingham and I called him from my mobile. He was very happy that I’d called and had arranged for us to collect the train tickets at the railway station and that he would e-mail a copy of the credit card booking. He was going to meet us at the station on arrival and they’d fixed up to eat if we could wait that long. We accepted of course since we expected it would be a late evening anyway. But what to do about getting changed? I said ‘Boys never think of these things’.Don’t worry we’ll sort something but we aren’t going to the Ritz you know.’

Then we decided it was bedtime and I showed Sally to the bathroom. Mum was in bed and said goodnight and Julkies door was closed for privacy whilst she chatted to Gary.
Mum had made the spare room comfortable and left some towels and a dressing gown. It was silk and not too warm but appreciated anyway by Sally.

We were soon ready for bed and Sally kissed me goodnight and said she’d read a magazine for a bit. I thought I might put on my TV to watch the late news and climbed into my soft warm bed. I flicked through the channels.

I just got comfortable and fluffed my pillow feeling the benefit of the warm shower I’d had when my phone rang.

Oh I wished I’d switched it off.

The name flased up ‘Jessica’

To be continued ………………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 24 Building Friendships

Somewhat apprehensively I answered ‘Hi’

‘Where did you disappear to tonight we were just warming up?’

‘Sorry I was getting nervous and didn’t want to drink too much and be ill for work tomorrow. I said that because of the importance of my new job I was just being responsible.’

Jessica laughed and said that I was a whimp. She said she’d had no intention of getting drunk but then as the evening livened up events took over. Especially when there was chance to flirt a little and maybe go into town with the 2 hottie guys. She said they’d asked about me so she’d wanted to see if they ‘spotted me’ and to see their reactions if they found out. She was proud of the fact that she’d helped looking forward to coming to my rescue again if anything happened.

I couldn’t understand her motifs at all and why she might want to humiliate me or think about exposing me in public. I told her it was making me more nervous and that I’d have preferred to have a quiet meal with the girls as originally intended. She just laughed and said most of them liked a good night out midweek to avoid work taking over their lives because we all work really hard for Kate Harper. It was true that despite her behavior she had a good team who worked hard but I figured this was because of their personalities rather than under good leadership.

Then she asked where I was so I said I’d just gone to bed. She asked if I was still going to Birmingham with Sally and said that she hadn’t come in yet so maybe she was out drinking or had met someone. She asked me again if I was interested to share the apartment with her and Mary Jo but this time I declined outright. I said that I needed some time to consider my new situation and welcomed the chance to develop my relationship with my sister who was home.

She asked if I’d go for a coffee with her tomorrow and to think more about her offer so I just said that I’d see how things panned out in the morning. So eventually she said ‘OK Hun I’ll let you go so sweet dreams’.

I switched off the power to my mobile and turned off the light. Before I’d closed my eyes there was a tapping on my door and I put the light back on. Sally popped her head around the door and whispered that she’d like to come in.

I said OK and pulled back the duvee and she smiled and snuggled up beside me. I dimmed the bed light this time and turned towards her. She asked who I’d been talking to and when I told her she just said ‘Jessica bitch, I hate her.’

As we snuggled to each other I told her that I’d got rid of her and the sooner we found a new place for Sally the better. She said I was very lucky to have a sister like Julie and an understanding mum. She said she’d been made very welcome and wished she’d had a sister. Then she said that she ’d like it if she had a sister like me and felt that I was a very special person. I sighed and said ‘Yes so special that I had no life and no friends’. She just whispered that it wasn’t true. Maybe I just didn’t understand my true self and that I’d not been dealt a fair hand of cards in life.

I laughed and said ‘Yes I didn’t even get a Joker just the lowest cards’
Then I turned over and Sally snuggled up to me and we fell asleep with her caressing my boobies.

My alarm woke us sharply at 7am and we looked at each other and smiled. I couldn’t help wondering why Sally was interested in me and if our relationship had anywhere to go. Why would Sally like a boy who was acting like a girl. She said ‘What are you thinking about?’ I just said ‘Nothing much. I was just thinking about you’ I was smiling of course and she stuck out her tongue and tickled me.

Then mum knocked on the door ‘Come on you two, get moving I’m making some tea’.
I said ‘Ahhh. A girl in my bed and caught by mum. How to face her at breakfast?’ She said ‘Is this your first time to get caught then?’

We giggled and both showered and dressed and partway through Julie surfaced and asked if I needed my personal dressing consultant services this morning and a taxi to work. ‘Of course I do sis’. ‘OK let’s decide together’.We went to her room and we all got ready together. Sally gave a second opinion on Julies choice of clothes for me. It was nice to have such fun and especially nice that Sally could be part of it. I felt very special.

Mum had prepared some tea and toast and cereals and fruit were on the table. We tucked in and mum entered the conversation and said we were like 3 budgies so she couldn’t get a word in. She reminded me that we were going to Grans and agreed to meet me outside work at 5-30pm. She said that Gran would have had her tea by the time we arrived and then we’d get a taxi home.

Julie arranged to meet Sally at the bus stop around 6pm and said she’d pick us up after she collected Gary at 7pm. So everything was arranged and we gathered our belongings to depart for work leaving mum to tidy up. She had a smile on her face and I felt she looked much younger when she smiled than she did when she looked sad.

We dropped sally at the bus stop and then Julie dropped me at the office at 8-30am since the traffic was light. I arrived before Kate that gave me pride and I took care to welcome her with a nice aroma of coffee that she noticed immediately. She greeted me with a hug and asked if everything went OK. I told her that I’d been fine thanks to her and said that I was really grateful. She said ‘You’re welcome anytime’.

Then she asked if I could drive since she knew that I’d had lifts from Julie. I told her that I’d failed my test because of nerves and then decided I couldn’t afford it. She just said ‘OK we need to get that sorted out soon then Missy’. I thought that this might not be wise in case I was ever stopped by the police but I thought I’d better wait to see what Kate did.

I got a call from Anne who asked if I’d got home safely so I told her what happened. She was feeling guilty for leaving me but I just insisted that I was a ‘big girl’ now who had to learn to look after myself. She said ‘Just be careful there are plenty of prejudiced people about.’

She told me that Jessica was in a foul mood today because she was hung-over and she’d got some urgent reports to finish. Anne had got some dumped on her because of the urgency and she didn’t know where to start. She wished I was there to help so I said to come upstairs and I’d help her as much as I could even if I had to work through my lunch-break. She came up and I showed her some short cuts and where to access information to cut and paste into the reports. Kate noticed us working together but she just smiled as she went past.

Anne came up at lunchtime and we shared her sandwich whilst I re-formatted two of the reports and printed them off. Anne was soon confident and we worked well together. We had a very productive hour and finished everything. She was very grateful but then I just said ‘it’s my small re-payment of your kindness towards me.’ She said I deserved success and she felt that I was sure to do well now I was under Kates wing.

When Kate returned from lunch she asked if I’d brought my Gucci bag and she’d sort out the repair. I’d popped it into a Sainsburys carrier bag and she looked at me and sait ‘reaaly Chrissy we have to lift your standards’. She said she’d got a few more spare bags at home so she’d sort out a shoulder bag and a nice briefcase. I guess I had never realized that image was so important and Kate said I should concentrate on giving out the best first impression to people and I’d go far.

I then focused on some work for Kate and about 4pm some reports came in that included some from Jessica. I had to put all the reports into a presentation folder for Kate to review at home that night so I couldn’t resist to scan through them. I smiled because Annes reports did put the rest of the reports to shame but then nobody would realize she’d done them as they were issued by Jessica as part of her overall report. I just called Anne and said that her reports looked the best and she was really pleased for the feedback.

I checked it was OK to leave on time and Kate said I musn’t be late so wished me good luck.
Mum was waiting outside under her umbrella and she’d brought one for me. I laughed because it was pink. It’s nice mum but better I’d use the one I’d bought that was better for my image.

I wished I’d got some boots as we walked to the bus stop as I felt the rain wetting my tights.

The bus was full so I had to stand whilst mum sat down. Then as nice surprise for me when a young boy was encouraged to give up his seat for me and I sat down next to his mum and said thanks to him. He reminded me of myself when I was at school and was smarter than the average schoolboy in his uniform and obviously took care of himself. His mum said they’d been to the dentist and that he’d been very brave but had to wear a brace. I smiled and said I’d also worn a brace for 2 years and hated it. She just politely smiled and said it had obviously been a success.

We arrived at Grans and the rain had stopped when we walked up her garden path. I stopped and said to mum that I was nervous and did Gran know that I was now working as Chrissy. She said ‘No that is the reason for the visit. I want her to meet her new grand daughter.’
Mum opened the front door and shouted ‘It’s only me’. We took off our coats in the hallway and then mum went into Grans living room.

‘Hi mum, here I am and I’ve brought someone special to see you.’

To be continued…….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 25 Special Short Chapter

Mum left the door ajar and I could see them through the crack. I stood still and looked in the hall mirror. I looked OK but not perfect. We should have come on a better day when the weather was warmer. My legs were cold and my tights felt damp. My nose was red with the cold wind outside. No wonder girls are always turning up the heating in the office and wearing cardigans.

Gran was sitting in her chair and mum pulled a dining chair to the side of her. Gran looked at her over the brim of her glasses and said ‘ Jennifer please tell me what’s going on. Why the mystery?’

Mum held her hand and said ‘I brought someone to see you since she hasn’t been for a while.’

Then I popped my head around the door and Gran looked across and then looked at mum and then across but I stepped back too frightened to step forward since Gran was not easy to get along with and I feared her reaction. Mum stood up and came over to the doorway and beckoned me to step forward. ‘Please darling come in to see your Gran. She won’t bite you’.
I looked around the door once again and Gran said ‘Who is it Jennifer? Please pass my other glasses and tell me who it is’.

I stepped inside the room and stood there as Gran put her glasses on. Mum held her arm as Gran stood up and looked at me. She just stared then turned to mum then stared again. She had a puzzled look as I stepped towards her. She dropped her walking stick and pushed mums arm away and slowly moved forward. She reaced to my face and touched my lips and then my hair. Then she took hold of my hand and with a dazed look on her face said ‘Judith where have you been? I’ve been worried about you’.

I turned to mum who just burst into tears. I stood still as Gran said ‘Jennifer what trick is this? How can this be true?’ She lurched forward and held me tightly around the waist and sunk to her knees and I followed her holding her head to my shoulder.

'Oh Judith my love I missed yo so much Oh no Oh no it can’t be true. Judith oh Judith I’m so sorry so very very sorry so sorry please forgive me’

Mum came over to us and dropped to her knees hugging us and smiling at Gran. Then she smiled at me and said ‘I knew it, I knew it’.
‘Mum what do you mean?’.

‘Never mind my love, I’ll tell you later, for now let’s all just have joy since these should be our special moments.’

After a few minutes Gran looked up and the glazed expression had gone. She looked to mum and then to me. Mum smiled and turned to her and said ‘Mum it’s not Judith it’s Chris’.

To be continued…………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 26 Family History Lesson

Gran looked at me and said ‘Christopher?’ Is this Chris?’

‘Why are you here dressed like this. What happened? You do look like a girl now. You look like your sister. But I thought you were Judith’

‘Goodness Jennifer it is Judith, isn’t it?’ ‘What an earth has happened to bring her back’ ‘Oh Chris Oh Judith’ she hugged us and tears fell again down her face but then her mouth turned to a weak smile. ‘Oh Chris you look beautiful and I can’t get over how much you look like Judith.’

We stood up carefully and helped Gran to her chair. It was a straight sit up armchair to help her back and so I could sit on the arm whilst she held my hand.

Mum said ‘Who would like some tea?’ She went through to the kitchen to boil the kettle and warm the pot that she insisted upon. Gran smiled and squeezed my hand. In all my life she’d never smiled like this at me. Both Julie and I felt that Gran was cold towards us unlike Granny Taylor who had looked after us a lot as we grew up.

Mum would never tell us why except that Granny Rylance was very sad and one day her smile would return.

Gran asked me to bring over her table and her memory book to look at it together.
We waited for mum to bring the tea and digestive biscuits and I brought the table with the memory book in front of Gran so that she could turn the pages whilst we looked over her shoulder.

Inside the front cover was written ‘In memory of my darling daughter Judith tragically taken from us never to be replaced’. Just signed ‘Mum’.

As Gran turned the pages she would stop occasionally and relive a memory starting with a photo of her with Aunt Judith as a new baby and then after a few pages of her growing up as a small girl with mum as a baby. There were lots of photos of Aunt Judith growing up and some included mum. They looked alike but Aunt Judith always seemed to be laughing and playing the fool. Then as Gran turned the pages towards Aunt Judiths college graduation I saw the resemblance that mum and Gran had described.

It was like looking in a mirror and as the photos showed Aunt Judith relaxing and dressed for her first job I saw how alike we were especially facially but in almost all our features. Gran just looked at me and stopped turning the pages. ‘Judith came back to me!’ Oh Chris you do look lovely.’ Mum stood up and asked if she could take a photo of Gran and I using my mobile phone. I said’ Let me freshen up first and she laughed.

We drank our tea and Gran hardly let go of my hand.

Then Julie rang and said she would be arriving in 30 minutes to pick us up and she asked if everything was OK. I told her we’d had a nice time and to come in to say Hi to Gran when she arrived. Then Gran asked if I’d come back and spend a day with her since she’d like to show me some more memories of Aunt Judith. Mum intervened and said we’d come back the following week since I was away for the weekend and I said that I’d take a half day holiday if I could.

When Julie arrived she came in and Gary came with her so she introduced him to Gran. He stayed in the doorway and then said he had to go outside to the car which meant he went for a smoke. It was obvious he gave us time together and. Gran said she was pleased to see us both and then gave Julie a big cuddle and said her boyfriend looked nice.

She said that she looked lovely so Julie was a bit taken aback but smiled and was very happy to be welcomed like this. I told her we’d been looking at the memory book so Gran insisted to show her quickly turning the pages until Julie saw what we’d all seen and turned and said ‘You are like two peas in a pod’.

Then Gran said to mum that she wanted us all to go upstairs if we had time and mum nodded. I think that she knew what was coming.

Gran struggled a bit to climb the stairs with mum helping her. Julie and I followed behind wondering what was there to see. We were never allowed out of the living room when we were young except to use the downstairs bathroom. It was a three bedroom house and she turned to the left to unlock one of the bedroom doors.

‘This is Judiths room, your mums is next door.’ Mum looked at us and smiled. It was like she still lived at home as far as Gran was concerned.

As we entered the room behind Gran the room was obviously that of a young woman decorated in a very feminine style with posters hanging and several photos of Aunt Judith, mum and dad and lots of friends and also of Aunt Judith in her cap and gown.

There was a picture of a young baby on the wall but it was hard to tell who it was.
The bed was strewn with cuddly toys and a dressing gown was folded neatly on the bed with some slippers neatly placed on a small sheepskin rug by the side of the bed. It was like Aunt Judith had popped out and was due to return. Over the bed was a large oil painting of Aunt Judith as a teenage girl, probably done in her mid teens. She had short fair hair in a style that was more boyish than feminine but she looked beautiful.

On the table was a school photo with mum and Aunt Judith together. There was a rack of shoes in the corner of various colours and styles.

Gran said ‘This is my memory room of Judith where I often come to talk to her.’ It was nice but a little sad to see Gran clinging to her memories like this. She opened a jewelry box on the dressing table and took out an engagement ring that was white gold with a small stone and a silver necklace with a cross.

She turned to me and said ‘Chris will you take these as a memory of Judith and wear them just for me since you look so much like her’

Julie lifted her euebrows and nodded to me and I stepped forward.The ring fitted the third finger of my hand and looked beautiful but I wasn’t sure if I should transfer it to my right hand or not. Mum said to leave it where it was that I assumed was so that Gran would be happy. Julie helped me to remove a necklace I was wearing and replace it with the cross and chain. Gran smiled and said she hoped that I would think of Aunt Judith each time I wore it and would say a prayer for her each day.

Poor Julie got nothing and I don’t think Gran saw the look of disappointment on her face. But fortunately mum seemed to get the message across to Gran who then took a silver bracelet from the jewelry box as a gift for her..

It was time to go so we went downstairs and gathered our coats and belongings as mum tidied away. Gran escorted Julie and I arm in arm to the front door and then mum fussed to ensure that she went back inside but she stayed and waved as we set off home. Gary was driving so not much was said except that it was nice to see Gran smiling.

As we arrived home we found Sally in the kitchen. She was laying the table in the dining room and had found the wine glasses and the napkins that mum always hid away. She smiled and asked if the evening was successful and mum jumped in first and just said ‘It was my dream come true to see mum smiling and showing her affection for Chris and Julie.
Sally smiled and blew me a kiss.

Julie and Sally had decided that we would have a Chinese takeaway so Gary was dispatched to collect it after Julie confirmed the order.

I flopped onto the sofa and closed my eyes. I was feeling tired after what seemed like a torrid week and I was conscious of Julie and Sally talking and trying to decide about a bottle of wine and mum fussing around placing a cushion behind my head. I must have drifted to sleep because the next thing I knew I could hear Julie shouting me to freshen up as supper had arrived.

It was funny because Gary had come into the room and luckily I was sleeping with my legs crossed and not showing my underwear. My leg has gone to sleep so I had to wiggle my toes a lot to get the circulation going. I loved the feel of tights on my legs and the feminine look of my feet that were more slender than average for a boy.

By now I was feeling hungry and Julie poured the wine whilst Sally brought plates and her and mum put the Chinese food dishes on the table with serving spoons. We all had some chop sticks to use as well as a fork and spoon.

As we tucked in I was conscious of Gary looking across at Sally and I and particularly at me. Julie noticed and so she started a conversation about Gran and suggested that I show Sally the ring. She liked it and also thought that the bracelet that Julie was wearing was beautiful.

Gary was getting a bit chatty by now after 2 glasses of wine and Julie had invited him to sleep over.

Then mum said that he could use the spare room if Sally didn’t mind bunking with me. She was smirking a bit and poor Sally blushed and said she was sorry to cause inconvenience. I just said ‘Course she doesn’t mind, we can top and tail’. That brought some laughter and Sally smiled and relaxed.

After supper we relaxed in the lounge and Julie downloaded the photo from my mobile phone and printed it in the study room. She opened the photo album and placed it alongside a photo of Aunt Judith.

‘There you are — two peas in a pod’.

Even Gary commented and said good looks seemed to run in the family. Mum said ‘Except for me of course the ugly sister’. We laughed because mum was even now far from an ugly sister and was slim and had obviously turned many heads in her youth.

Then Gary turned to me and said ‘ Chrissy can I ask you something personal please if you don’t mind?’

To be continued…….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 27 Dinner discussions

I was taken aback for a few moments and I looked across at Julie who was sitting next to Gary. Her eyes fixed with mine and I could sense her saying ‘be careful’.
I said ‘Of course but as long as it’s not too personal at the dinner table.’

He looked at Julie then turned to me and said in a quiet voice ‘Chrissy I hope that you don’t mind me asking but did you deliberately adopt the style and look of your Aunt Judith to try to please your Gran or is it just a co-incidence?

The way he’d been so serious had given me the impression that he was going to ask something else and I’m sure Julie thought exactly the same. I breathed a sigh of relief and I just wanted to laugh but I managed to say ‘No, why do you ask?’

He told me that it seemed to upset Julie that Gran never made a fuss of us both and he felt that the problem was related to something that we might have done to her when we were young.
.
Mum interjected and said that neither of us were at fault and that her mums problems were all to do with a guilt complex over something that happened prior to the untimely accident when Aunt Judith was killed.. Gran had never gotten over it but mum hoped that the visit tonight and seeing such a likeness between Aunt Judith and I might release the hurt inside her. She was sure that had happened.

Sally was all ears by this time but she said nothing.

Then Gary said ‘I’m sorry Mrs Taylor but I didn’t mean to interfere or be nosey but I just felt that Julie and Chrissy had missed out a lot and I didn’t know about Aunt Judith.
The subject was dropped and we all cleared the dishes and the leftovers that seemed to be almost as much as we started with.

I helped mum to wash the dishes whilst Sally tidied up. Julie and Gary were excused duties so it gave mum and I chance to chat a little.

Mum asked me how I felt and if I regretted anything during this last week. She wantedto know how I felt about hers and Grans separate reactions when they saw me.

I said that as each day passed by I was feeling as if I’d always been a girl and that I had different feelings than before and wanted to mix with people rather than to hide away as I’d done before. I felt that the reaction from Mum and Gran had convinced me that I had made the right decision and I was extremely flattered that I appeared to look like Aunt Judith.

Then I asked mum to tell me what she was like and if they had been close as sisters or if they argued. She told me about some of the fun times they’d had and how dad had always fancied Judith that made mum jealous but that mostly he was teasing. At school they’d both done well but Judith had been the smartest and had gone on to university where she’d met someone very special. He was the most handsome man in the world according to mum and Judith never stopped talking about him.

At the same time mum had gone to the local college and ended up meeting dad and falling in love and then they’d both found jobs locally whereas Aunt Judith was wanting to live and work in London.

I asked mum what happened to upset Gran so much but she wouldn’t say anymore so I switched the subject to sally and our weekend away.

Then she asked me about my relationship with Sally because she’d hoped that I would marry one day like she hoped Julie would do so then she’d have grand children to look after.

I said that I hoped I didn’t disappoint her but that my feelings for Sally were different and that we were really good friends but that I’d not had any male feelings towards her. But I’d no idea where the relationship might go.

I did realize that Sally and I had moments of passion and that she had strong feelings towards me and was more likely to take the lead than me. She was teaching me a few things about her sensitive points and how to arouse her. I liked to make her feel special and I realized that she was trying to explore with me too.
Sally came into the kitchen so we decided to make tea and go through to the lounge. Mum had one last through the album and stuck the photo of me on a fresh page along with one of her photos of Aunt Judith.

After we finished the tea I went upstairs with Sally to select some things to pack for our trip to Birmingham and she said that she would go around to Jessicas flat tomorrow afternoon to pick up more things for herself . She’d taken the afternoon vacation but I couldn’t leave before 5pm and out train was at 6-30pm.

I sent a text to James to say I could speak if he wanted to call and he called straight back and we chatted whilst Sally used the shower.

When she came back to the bedroom she just said ‘Why are we doing this? What is the point of meeting James this weekend?

I said I didn’t have an answer but that I’d enjoyed meeting him and at the time it had seemed like a good idea. She said she was nervous about the trip but if I really wanted to go then she’d still come with me.

There was something about James that I’d liked. He was tall and good looking and maybe he’d stirred some feelings inside me that I’d not experienced before. When I’d been with him I’d felt special and my tummy had been tingling. I’d wanted him to kiss me but not as Chris but as Christine. But as Sally said he was not hiding the fact that he was gay. He obviously frequented the club where we’d been and yet he had a relationship with ‘the Wicked Witch of West Birmingham’

It was a strange partnership but then I suppose she might say the same thing about me to her friends.

By this time mum was in bed and I could hear Julie and Gary talking in her room. I knocked on the door and she came into my room and together we selected some clothes for the weekend out of the stock that had been built up in my wardrobe and drawers. Sally was sitting on the bed as second advisor and we made a selection and then reduced the pile by half and then increased it again before finally halving the pile again.

I packed everything neatly into a weekend bag so only my make up and accessories to pack tomorrow. Sally said ‘will you wear that ring?’ I smiled and said yes but I’ll move it to the other hand.

I cleansed my face and the showered and squirted a little perfume onto my neck and behind my ears.

Sally was already in bed and as I closed the bedroom door I realized that Sally was sharing with mums full blessing.

I snuggled into bed and Sally turned out the light. I was about to say goodnight when she leaned over me.

To be continued……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 28 First experiences

I could see her because of the street light that shines through the curtains bringing soft light to the room. Sally lifted herself onto one elbow and blew into my ear.
‘Can I ask you something personal?’

I looked at her and wondered what she would say.

Are you really your Aunt Judith or are you Christopher Taylor?’ she giggled and tickled me since she was teasing me. I’d obviously looked so serious that she thought it was extra funny. I smiled and hit her on the arm and then she fell back laughing. I just thought how wonderful it was to see Sally laughing.

That was it I threw back the duvee and said ‘OK Sally Baxter I admit it I am Aunt Judith and I’m seriously going to kiss you until you have no breath in your body.

Sally was giggling so much that I couldn’t properly kiss her and then she slowed down and gradually our lips came together and she lifted herself from the bed to push me gently back onto my pillow. It was the longest and most passionate kiss that I’d experienced in my life and she was much more experienced than me slowing me down so that she was in control.

It was a wonderful experience and then her tongue touched mine and played gently along the tip and around it in a circular motion. She said that’s a Sally kiss that is my speciality. ‘ Ms Chrissy Taylor I hope it’s one that you’ll remember in case you think of kissing James this weekend.

I pulled her body towards me for more and she kissed my lips, my nose, my forehead and my ears. I was laying back by now not knowing what to do and she whispered ‘I love you Chrissy Taylor for being there for me when I needed a best friend.’

Whilst I am not so well endowed I felt something stirring that I’d not really experienced before and a sticky wetness in my knickers. Sally then lifted her leg over me and pushed my legs apart with her knees pressing her tummy against mine.

Then she pushed herself gently on to my tummy and then pushed down and relaxed and repeated it several times as if she was making love to me. The pressing became firmer and faster until she let out a sigh and then a small cry and a sigh and a cry and a sigh and a long sigh. I pulled her to me and hung onto her arching my back. Then she smiled and kissed me again and laid back with her arm under my neck.

I put my head on her should then we closed our eyes and fell asleep.
It must have been 3am when I next opened my eyes again feeling like I needed to visit the bathroom. I looked at Sally and she was curled in a ball with an angelic look on her face. I went to the bathroom and wiped myself dry before relieving myself.

When I returned to bed I changed my knickers and as I looked at her I wanted to wake her. I snuggled back by her side putting my cold feet on her warm ones but she just nuzzled me and wrapped her arms around me to make me warm so that I’d close my eyes. But I felt that I couldn’t sleep because I just wanted to repeat the experience.

I looked at her in the soft light and pushed the hair from across her face.
I laid back staring at the ceiling to reflect on the last few days and how much I’d enjoyed myself as Chrissy and how much had happened. I thought of mum and Gran and I wondered what Aunt Judith was like and wished I’d been able to meet her.

Then I recalled how difficult times had been for mum when we were young. I remembered an incident at Grans when mum and dad had a big argument with Gran and how dad had shouted before mum took us outside to sit in the car. After that mum and dad didn’t visit so regularly and seemed to argue a lot.

Maybe this was the start of them separating because not long afterwards he decided to leave us and went to live with a woman he worked with. Mum never forgave him and was upset for a long time. She’d often cry and we could never console her. I hated dad for doing this to mum and supported her by resisting his attempts to make contact. I declined to talk to him on many occasions and didn’t open his letters or his cards and birthday and Christmas gifts.

I guess I must have eventually fallen to sleep around 4am and so the next thing I heard was Sally rushing around to get ready for work since she had an early start.
She leaned over and kissed me and said she’d call me later about the arrangements and off she went saying thanks to mum on her way out.

I showered and made myself decent since Gary and Julie were up and about. Julie put on a jogging suit and some trainers and said she’d take me to work as promised and after A quick breakfast I picked up my bag and my suitcase and said by to mum.

On the way to work Julie said that she’d had a chat with Gary when they went to bed and told him that whilst I was her sister I had been born with a slight defect that needed corrective treatment.

He still hadn’t tumbled so she’d not said anymore to him and opted to re-visit the subject later especially since she said that he was more interested in a wrestling match. She said she’d lost so how about me?

We laughed together and I said that I’d lost too and she said ‘Really —tell me more’. I said ‘OK I might tell you later when I return from Birmingham’.
.
I arrived at the office on time and as I got out of the car I felt really good. The sun was shining and I felt nice inside. I wanted to be nice to everybody and was looking forward to the weekend away with Sally and to meet up with James again to see what he’d arranged for us.

When Kate came in she wasn’t in such as good a mood as me in fact she was a bit angry. I kept a distance and just placed her coffee on her desk and said good morning. She just looked over her glasses as she flicked through a file. She did manage a half a smile but I thought better to keep a low profile.

About 20 minutes later she buzzed me and asked me to pop in. I was a bit hesitant but she did at least ask if everything had gone OK the night before so I just said it was nice and that Gran had been very happy.

Then she told me that she’d reviewed some of the orders and the supplier performance records contained in the reports that didn’t make easy reading. She felt that the reports were not clear and that they needed to be checked and re-done. She wanted me to arrange a meeting with the section heads and to ensure that they were prompt. I had 30 minutes to gather everybody together in the Board room that I managed by the skin of my teeth.

The last to arrive was Jessica who had been difficult to find but luckily Anne tracked her down.

I could hear Kates raised voice since I was preparing water and a jug of coffee. She emphasized that she expected more professional reports and that everything be checked and proof read before she received them. Jessica made the mistake of speaking out and Kate jumped straight down her throat to say she should follow instructions and start setting a better example since she was in a senior position and no longer one of the girls.Jessica then looked across at me with an angered expression.

I think that she felt that I’d said something to Kate and as she left she turned and said ‘You derserve all that’s coming to you!’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 29 Lunch Chat

I thought that Jessica was awful to say such an unkind thing and I was worried that she might be planning something sinister.

She had just glared at me and I felt that she meant every word. I decided that I should confront her later rather otherwise I’d worry and not sleep very well. I felt she had a love/hate attitude towards me and maybe it was that she felt insecure or that she felt that I was a threat. Whatever I was thinking about what she might mean.

As the room emptied Kate asked me to tidy up and gather up the spare reports that were left behind and shred them. She said that she needed to have a one to one meeting with Jessica after lunch and to make a space in her diary. I switched some appointments around and then confirmed it with her after which she asked me to call Jessica and inform her of the appointment and the designated time.

I was dreading making the call and had to use the bathroom first to relieve myself. She frightens me and I couldn’t believe that I’d allowed her to dominate me

I thought that Kates purpose might be to give her a pep talk but then I thought more than likely it would be a verbal warning or even a full dressing down. I never saw this more aggressive side of Kate first hand before and I realized that she was demanding of her management team and well focused on the Company performance.

I wished that I had her management experience and decision making ability and I felt she excelled well beyond my capability. She had reached the top management level in record time yet she was only about 3 or 4 years older than me. Most of her managers were older than her.

Today she was being particularly decisive and I watched her and admired her as she made telephone calls and discussed issues that had been raised in the meeting. I wondered if she would ever be married and if men were scared by her ability and firmness or if maybe she had a partner or a boyfriend who was subservient but none had ever been mentioned. I could imagine that she’d had plenty of boyfriends.

She looked across at me through the open connecting door whilst on a telephone call and had seen me watching her and admiring her manner. She just smiled at me that was a big relief. I felt that I wouldn’t like to upset her or to be in her bad books.

She looked particularly nice today and her dark blue pin striped trouser suit fitted her very well and accentuated her figure.

I tried not to stare but I admired her so much that I wished I could spend more time with her and I wanted her advice on as much as she would offer. I wished that I looked like her in a trouser suit with her slim waist and bustline.

I decided to take more notes about her leadership style and a record of how she dressed. I took a spare desk diary from the filing cabinet at the end of my desk to use for rough notes and set up a record sheet on my computer.

About 11-45am she came out of her office to my desk as I was typing some letters for her and said ‘Come on I’m going to take you for lunch, I need a little chat with you and I’d like to treat you if you don’t mind’.

I quickly freshened up and she was waiting as I came out of the bathroom and pretended to be impatient tapping her foot because I had kept her waiting. I smiled and she let me see that she was teasing me. She then held my jacket whilst I put it on.

‘What do you fancy Chrissy? How about we share some rib of beef at La Grillade? I’m feeling like some red meat today’. She laughed as she said it and since I was traveling to Birmingham with no dinner that night it was a very welcome offer.

She suggested we walk to La Grillade since it was less than ten minutes and the car park wasn’t so good. She was soon striding out at a quick pace whilst I struggled in a fairly tight skirt and heels and I then realized that I lacked the experience needed to walk very quickly and keep up with her. She let me hold her arm to keep a balance.

When we arrived outside I looked at the menu and thought it was a little expensive but she just said come on I’m paying so enjoy it.

We went downstairs into the restaurant that was converted basements of a hotel and had nice character. The head waiter knew Kate and welcomed us with a small glass of wine and he showed us to a corner table in a good position.

Kate said she’d order for the two of us if I didn’t mind and I was pleased as I’d have not known what to choose as a starter. She selected some salade lardon that was lettuce with bacon and small pieces of toasted bread with a nice sauce that we add with slices of warm fresh French bread. The rib of beef was cooked OK but a little bit raw for me so I focused more on the well cooked pieces and the pomme frites. Kate was quite happy enjoying the medium rare pieces.

During lunch Kate told me that she was really happy with my performance and that I’d done a good job and that she would review my salary after 2 more weeks if I kept up the good work.She said that ahe hoped I was enjoying it.

I was most grateful and I felt she was kind to reward me with a one to one lunch.
Then she said that she’d noticed me helping Anne to produce the reports and asked me my opinion about her capability and if I thought she was suitable for promotion. I hardly dare answer but it was obvious that I couldn’t escape. I told her that she was a good people person and was respected in the office but lacked opportunity and guidance.

Then she asked me about my relationship with Jessica and if I thought that she was capable to be the Manager of the department. I said that it wasn’t my place to comment but that a few people had remarked that she wasn’t yet experienced enough and had been thrown in the deep end. She had consequently struggled with some parts of the job on the financial and reporting side. She smiled and said that I was very diplomatic and that she would take note of my ‘none answer. I blushed.

Then she paid the bill with her Company credit card and asked if I minded if we didn’t take a sweet or a coffee and she’d buy me a cream cake on the way back from a pastry shop to save time.

I was not sure that I could manage anything else to eat as I’d reduced my food intake a lot these last few days in an attempt to lose weight but Kate insisted and she selected a blueberry cheesecake that I in the end I accepted gratefully.

Whilst we were in the queue I had a call from Sally so I promised to call back and said that I’d contact James in the meantime to ensure his plans had worked out. She’d left work early to gather some things from her flat whilst Jessica was at work. I felt this was a good move on her part.

Kates appointment with Jessica was later in the afternoon at 3-30pm so when we got back to the office Kate call me to her office and signed the letters that I’d typed. Then she asked me to run an errand for her if I didn’t mind. She wanted me to go to the post office to collect a parcel that should have been delivered to her home.

The Central Office was about 10 minutes in a taxi so she said that I might have to think about driving lessons and then I could have gone in her car. I daren’t attempt that and my idea was to have a much smaller car that was easier to park.

The taxi waited for me outside the Post Office and I was relieved that it was not ‘my taxi driver friend’. Was I getting paranoid I wondered? As I came out of the Post Office I bumped into Mary Jo, Jessicas friend so I stopped for a chat. She said that Jessica had told her that I might be moving into Sallys flat and she was looking forward to it. I said she’d asked me but that I wasn’t ready to go that far yet and felt safer at home for now. She said she understood and that I shouldn’t get too close to Jessica until I got to know her better. She could be a handful.

I waived bye to Mary Jo and jumped into the cab and was back in the office around 2pm to find Kate had started her next meeting ahead of schedule so it gave me chance to call Sally.

I couldn’t wait to tell her about the events surrounding Jessica and how she seemed to have been found out and put under pressure by Kate. She was hoping that she’d get her come uppence and be sacked but I doubted Kate would go that far.

I hoped to grab a lift to the station or to take a bus and meet her around 6 pm in good time for the train. She said she’d buy a snack for on the way and would be watching out for me. James would be waiting at Birmingham New Street station when we arrived. I was hoping to get changed before I left the office since we’d agreed on our weekend outfits.
Kate started another short meeting at 3pm and I took in her afternoon tea and some spare cups and saucers for her guests.

When I came out of her office my mobile was ringing and I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t answer. I scrolled down my contacts list and it wasn’t a number I recognized.
About ten minutes later I got another call and again it wasn’t a number I recognized but this time I answered.

The caller said ‘Hi this is Barclays Bank Fraud Services. Can I confirm that I am talking to Mr Christopher Taylor’.

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 30 The consequences

‘OMG what’s this about?’ I answered the security questions although the caller did question whether or not I was Mr or Ms Taylor and apologized for doubting me.

Then I was advised that there had been some suspicious activity on my credit card and several cash withdrawals had been made in the last 12 hours from my personal cheque account. I was told that I was overdrawn that had triggered the fraud squad of the bank to become involved.

I advised that I should have more than one thousand pounds in my cheque account and my last withdrawal had been in Birmingham the previous weekend that was also the last time that I’d used my credit card. Then I got the ‘Don’t worry sir we will deal with this matter but for now we have cancelled both cards and you will have to wait until new ones are issued that is likely to take more than 1 week.’

They asked if the could personally interview me and as I started to answer yes I suddenly looked down at my skirt, tights and heels and thought ‘oh no’ what shall I do?’
I told them I was due to travel to Birmingham and should I cancel or not. They said they could meet me on Monday morning if that was convenient since the interview was a formality. I agreed to go to my bank at 11am and hoped that Kate would let me have the time off.

But in the meantime I needed to check my other card and my savings account. At least the Barclays girl told me that nobody had access to my savings account except me. Luckily my Capital One account was untouched with no activity.

I wondered how someone could get my details and hadn’t left my purse anywhere. How do they do these things?

I called mum immediately and then Julie. They tried to calm me down by saying I’d probably get the money back but I was more concerned about how it was done by that time.

Then I rang Sally and she said she’d lend me some money for the weekend if I needed it and of course this was likely if we were going out so I felt my weekend was spoiled and that perhaps we shouldn’t go.

Then Sally said ‘I wonder if Jessica had anything to do with this’. I just said ‘Surely not, how could she and why should she?’

Sally said ‘Well she certainly would like to spoil our weekend and I’m sure that she knows your bank details from your records at work and because she’d been stood at the side of me when I paid the hotel bill the previous weekend.

I still couldn’t believe she’d stoop so low.

I agreed to carry on and meet Sally as planned. Julie called back and asked if I was OK and if I needed anything. I was OK by then and said I’ I just need a bit of time to calm down and a glass of wine would be nice if she could pop round. She laughed at my silly joke.

I decided the next best thing was a cup of tea and some cheesecake. I made some tea for Kate and took her half of the cheesecake. She tried to refuse but I said ‘Come on we both have to get fat or neither of us’.

I told her about the call from Barclays and she just looked back seriously and said I should write down what had been said and record my best knowledge of when I last used the cards and who was around.
I told her what Sally had said and she looked over her glasses and said ‘Really’.

I left her to eat in peace and just managed to finish mine when Jessica turned up for her meeting with Kate.

‘Now then lover how are we today. Everything ready for your little trip or will you change your mind? I’m available if you are.’

I didn’t feel so sure that she was innocent anymore so I just said that I was really looking forward to meet Sally and that we were both exited. If looks could kill I’d not be writing this story!!

Then she said ‘Is she ready for me yet?’ I rang and checked and then Jessica went in.
She must have been there for almost 1 hour during which time I decided to call Anne and we met for a chat next to the lift on the ground floor when I took the post down.

She asked what was happening with Jessica and said that despite her bravado she was terrified of the meeting. I couldn’t say much to Anne except that Kate had complemented us on Annes report contribution that seemed to stand out.

She hoped I would have a nice weekend and complemented me on my ring that she noticed as we touched to say goodbye. ‘Who is the lucky guy then?’

‘Me I guess HaHa’

As I arrived back at my desk Jessica came out looking as if she’d had three strokes of the cane and a detention. She was white as a sheet and just muttered something under her breath. ‘Don’t get mad, get even’.

She left without any acknowledgement to me and then Kate called me into her office and asked me to sit for a minute and take a few notes. I was no high flying secretary with shorthand skills but I managed to keep up.

Kate summarized the meeting and said that Jessica had been advised about her general attitude and unsatisfactory performance and that 2 complaints had been received. Kate had discussed Jessicas job with her and suggested that she go on a Management training course that would be arranged by HR department. In the meantime Jessica was instructed to prepare Anne to cover for her and to spend the following week showing her the basic systems and procedures.

I could have jumped up and kissed Kate and I think that she new because a small smile came across her lips.

I just had time to type it up and e-mail it to HR department and had to call them first to add a reference number to the report.

Kate said it was time I was going and hurried me to get changed so of course I did as instructed.

As I left the office with my carry on bag she reached to her purse and took out one hundred pounds that she gave to me for contingency funds. I was speechless and then she hugged me and kissed me saying she hoped I’d have a great time and that I should behave myself. Her last words ‘if you can’t be good be careful’

It wasn’t long before I was entering the railway station and Sally came rushing towards me and was hugging and kissing me as if we hadn’t seen each other for six months.

We collected the train tickets and whilst the girl behind the counter wasn’t too friendly at least she didn’t doubt us.

The train soon arrived and it was full because it was Friday afternoon. Luckily we had seats reserved in carriage E so after we boarded the train we made our way down the aisle. It’s not easy walking in heeled boots on a moving train and pulling a carry on.

I accidently bumped a mans arm as he was drinking his beer and he spilled it over his newspaper on the table.

‘You stupid bitch watch what you are doing.’
I turned and looked at him to say sorry and he returned my look and then said ‘OK Chick, How about you buy me a drink for spilling that?’

I said I would after I found my seat and then he grabbed my arm. ‘Look babe you better mean that since I was enjoying that.

I looked at Sally and she was frightened. Then I looked over her shoulder and who should be coming through the automatic door?

to be continued......

. At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 31 Fruitless journey

I was shocked to see it was my sister Julie who had obviously just managed to catch the train since she was looking disheveled. Julie looked at the guy who had made the remark and just said ‘Chicks are hatched from eggs so who do you think you are talking to?’

He shut up and turned back to his friends and then we carried on down the carriage to find our seats. Luckily there was a spare seat across the aisle because somebody missed the train.

I said ‘What’s wrong why are you here?’

Julie told me that she’d tried to catch me at work and the receptionist told her we’d just left. She decided to board the train since she couldn't see me on the platform and the train had set off. So she'd called Gary who was now driving to Derby that was the next station to meet us.

Julie said that ealier on, just after I’d finished speaking to her, mum had called her to say that Gran had been rushed to hospital after a stroke so mum tried to call me but no answer. Then Julie tried so she also told me my telephone was switched off.

I hadn’t switched it off since it was still on but it said no service available. It looked like my contract had been suspended because when we checked Julie and Sallys phones both had a signal and worked.

Then Julie said that mum was at the hospital and she feared the worse. Julie had stayed on the train without a ticket and hoped that the guard would understand.

She then sent a message to mum to say she found me and at that point I had no idea what to do. I couldn't carry on to Birmingham and I wondered if we dare pull the alarm cord.

Sally said no and then said we should turn back as soon as possible and let James know. We should then get off the train at the next stop and go back with Julie and Gary. I was sure that Mum needed us and Sally and Julie both said that James would understand.

It was just my bad luck day but I felt this was much more serious than my credit card problem.

I was proud that Julie had been so positive and that she'd dropped everything and had the sense to jump on the train. But what if mum had got through to me and I'd not got the train at all.

She said she’d not even considered that and just left her shopping at the check out counter after mums call. She said that she was sorry to panic but she didn’t know what else to do.

Sally said we should find the guard and confirm the time of arrival in Derby so we could call Gary. She was the calmest for once.

Gary had a bigger problem to consider than us since he'd no idea of his arrival time since he was driving on Friday evening down a busy motorway.

The guard appeared before we had chance to go looking and he was very kind and helpful. He told us we could probably catch a train back about 15 minutes after arrival in Derby so Julie called Gary and since he was making good progress we decided to leave the plan as it was.

So I called James using Sallys phone and he said he’d tried to call me but my phone was switched off. I was annoyed by this time since my phone was a monthly contract phone and the payment should have gone through. He understood and asked me to call him when I had more news.

The guard gave us timetable and regretted that he couldn’t give us a re-fund on the tickets for Sally and I but at that time it was the least of my concerns. If all this was to do with Jessica I was ready to tell her what I thought of her and not speak to her ever again.

We arrived and called Gary who was about half an hour away so we decided to have a coffee and a snack. My tummy was turning over and I was desperate for the loo so Julie got the drinks and looked after the bags and Sally and I went to find the loo.

There was a queue that irritated me since I never had this problem in the mens loo. Why can’t ladies facilities be bigger and have more cubicles? It seems so stupid that nobody made any protests. Maybe it is because women learn to put up with the inconvenience from an early age.

Julie bought us each a Mocha and we shared a piece of cake. I can’t recall if it tasted good or not it was just to put us on and I’d no appetite.
As Gary approached the station he called Julie and we headed for the exit. I suppose we looked sad because two guys said to cheer up and asked if we wanted to go with them for a drink. We ignored them of course.

We jumped into the car and then Julie sent another text to mum and within 5 minutes she called back.

Gran was stable but poorly and hadn’t been able to speak. She was half awake and had just smiled and held mums hand.

She asked us to hurry just in case and Gary said he’d do the best he could. None of us had much to say for a while and Sally held my hand and squeezed it. I felt the ring on my finger that Gran had given me and looked at it with a tear in my eye. I’d not had chance to talk properly to her or thank her and I wished and prayed that she would recover so I could make up for the lost years. I knew that mum must be really upset.

As we arrived at the hospital Gary pulled up at the front door of A&E even though there were some restrictions. He said he’d look after Sally and that they’d come and find us soon.
It was strange walkin

g down the corridor with our heels clicking on the hard wood floor. Julie hooked her arm in mine and said we needed to be strong and support mum. Neither of us had any experience of family bereavements or serious illness and nobody to guide us.

We went to the reception and a middle aged lady asked for details of the patient we were looking for. We were escorted through to a waiting room where we found mum who immediately burst into tears setting off both Julie and I.

Mum said that she was going to stay with Gran and that there had been a slight improvement but the next 24 hours were critical. She said that we might be able to see her if we waited and so Julie said she’d get some tea for us from a vending machine.

Mum hugged me and said’ Sorry to spoil your weekend Chris and sorry to hear about your credit card problem’ I just said not to worry and that we were a family that needed to stick together.

Mum said that she would tell me something later about the reason that Gran had given me the ring and the necklace but that really she hoped that Gran would recover enough to tell me herself.

Julie arrived with the tea and whilst it wasn’t very good I think it was nice to sit together and sip it whilst we talked a little bit. Julie said that if mum wanted to stay all night she would stay too but then I interjected and said I was older and it was my responsibility. Julie seemed surprised that I was so adamant and she agreed to take Sally with them if they went home. That prompted her to call Gary who was waiting anxiously for news. He came to find us with Sally and Julie met them down the hall.

I was with mum when a nurse came into the room. It was Angela Hemingway from my class at school. She said hello to mum and introduced herself and then turned to me and said ‘Is that you Chris’. My you’ve changed a lot and you do look very nice.

After that she updated mum on Grans progress and said that the doctor would like to talk to us if we’d follow her.

I waived to Julie and she came back so that we could all go in together.
He told us that Gran needed to stay in intensive care whilst they monitored her but that she had a good chance of recovering if she didn’t have another stroke in the next few hours.

There was no sign of loss of use of limbs and she’d drifted in and out of consciousness. She’d been lucky that she’d had the presence of mind to press an alarm before she’d blacked out and luckily she hadn’t banged her heads as she fell.

He asked who Judith was and said that she’d cried out for her. Mum told him that it was her sister who had been killed in a car crash many years ago.

He said when she’d opened her eyes and seen him that she’d said ‘please get Judith I need to talk to her.’

To be continued……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 32 Panic Over

Angela took us to the waiting room where she sat us and said that it was best if we let Gran get some rest whilst they kept an eye on her. She said she could try to arrange somewhere for mum to sleep if she wanted to stay all night. Mum accepted after a bit of pressure from me.

As we chatted it turned out that Julie also knew Angela from school since they’d both been in the school swimming team so she was extra friendly. I told that I wanted to meet the doctor on my own so I could find out more as mum was too upset to ask questions.

I met the doctor about 30 minutes later and he understood that I was the grandson and not a grand-daughter. He didn’t seem to object and I didn’t care what he thought at that time since my prime interest was to assess the situation. Angela had obviously told him about our family background and she’d told Julie that at school she’d always felt that there was something different about me.

Then I asked the doctor about the seriousness of the stroke and he said that it was still early doors but since Gran had been able to activate the alarm they’d managed to carry out a scan within a few hours of the stroke and quickly determined that there was no bleeding so he was quietly optimistic. There was paralysis but Gran had seemed distressed and confused and had been mumbling. He asked me about Judith so I told him about her and how it had made Gran so unhappy.

He took a few notes and so I asked him if Gran would recover and if she was at risk for another stroke. He said to be patient and wait for 24 hours and they’d given her some drugs that should help. He said we should not leave Gran alone for a while assuming everything was OK and to also arrange for some special care assistance. Then he asked about me and why I was at the hospital dressed as I was and if I’d discussed it with my doctor or with a therapist. I told him some of the background how this had started and how I’d felt better each day and was much more confident.

He said that he recommended to see my GP sooner rather than later and that he had two former colleagues who dressed and lived as women but they’d had to overcome a lot of problems and difficulties. He was nice and I liked him and appreciated his advice.

I had a chat to mum and Julie and said that my opinion was that we should not stay any longer and all go home and come back the next day. It seemed like a lead weight had been lifted from mums shoulders and I wiped the tears from her eyes.

Gary and Sally appeared as we chatted to Angela who gave us her mobile number so we’d keep in touch. She gave us the number to call the following morning to check the progress and we headed off to the car.

We were quiet as Gary drove us home and then I said that nobody had eaten and insisted that we picked up some Pizza if only for the benefit of Sally and Gary. Julie had an appetite as well but mum and I didn’t feel hungry.

When we arrived home I told mum what the doctor had said to me and that I was going to make an appointment. I told her that I also wanted to visit Gran with her the following day and that we should think about how to look after Gran so she wasn’t alone. She decided to take a nice long bath hoping that she would feel better and as Sally, Gary and Julie scoffed the Pizza I called James to update him and apologized for the waste of money and lost weekend.

James was very talkative and also very kind and he showed genuine concern. I was surprised how easy it was to talk to him and he tried to make me laugh a little bit with silly stories. He told me that his former girlfriend had stopped calling him so it was safe to visit anytime I wanted. Something inside me wanted to visit but at the same time I thought this might not go down too well with Sally.

He said he’d call me over the weekend if I didn’t mind and without thinking about it I just said ‘I would like that’.

Mum had a restless night and I got up a couple of times to check on her. Each time Sally woke up and asked if I was OK and snuggled me to get me warm. I was grateful to her since I was able to fall quickly back to sleep. Then she woke me around 8am that was early for a Saturday and suggested we make breakfast for once.

It was nice to have a family breakfast and afterwards I called the hospital and the news was good. Julie and Gary dropped mum and I off at the hospital and then took Sally to her flat to pack a suitcase and help her in case Jessica tried to cause trouble.

Julie was ready for a confrontation with Jessica but I told her that I was going to deal with her on Monday and then I intended to see Kate to discuss my suspicions and her obvious incompetence. Julie would have preferred to punch her nose.

Gran was sitting up in bed as we arrived but she wasn’t too sure where she was or what had happened. She seemed confused and twice she held my hand and called me Judith. Mum looked on and tried to ignore it. Eventually she said ‘Mum this is Chris’ and Gran just said ‘Are you sure? You’re wrong this is Judith.’

We stayed for 2 hours and mum chatted to Gran a little bit but mainly we let her rest. The doctor visited and his report was good but he did say she was still a bit confused. I felt that I wanted to know more about Aunt Judith so I suggested to mum that we go around to Grans and tidy up thinking it would give me an opportunity.

So we left Gran and took a taxi to her home and as we entered two neighbors were waiting who mum said had lived close to Gran since mum was a little girl. They were anxious for news so mum invited them in and I made some tea.

They assumed that I was Julie so mum didn’t say anything and they all sat down in the lounge and mum told them that Gran was going to be OK and thanked them for helping the medics when they arrived so that Gran could be attended too quickly. Mrs. Parkinson had a spare key to Grans back door for such emergencies.

I sat in Grans chair and looked at the book. I was keen to open it and look through it but felt I either did this with mum or with Gran since it was private. I had to push the table out of the way to resist the temptation.

Both ladies kept looking across at me as they chatted with mum about Gran and I hadn’t realized that she’d had a small stroke before whilst I was away at college that was the reason she used a walking stick. They asked how Christopher was and what he was doing and I looked at mum as she was trying to decide about the answer. She didn’t know what to say so I jumped in and said’ Oh he is doing very well now and has been promoted at work and seems to be very happy. Mum looked relieved.

Then I changed the subject to ask how Mrs. Parkinson’s son was since he used to be hanging around the gate with friends when we visited and sometimes talked to Julie. It distracted attention away from me as she told us how proud she was of him.

Then the other lady, Mrs. Merrill said that I was getting more beautiful and that I reminded her of Judith. Mum smiled and said that mum had reacted just the same and it had pleased her a lot. Mrs. Parkinson said Judith was a wonderful young girl and she’d been a regular babysitter for her and mum as they grew up.

They asked if Christopher might come later as they’d like to see him again and I said he’d be coming around soon but he was supposed to be in Birmingham.

When they’d left mum apologized for not responding and said she’d not wanted to say anything that might upset me. I just said now wasn’t the right time to deal with it and so I’d diverted them as much as I could.

Then I asked if we could look at the book and mum said I should look through it whilst she tidied round. She said it was OK since it was time that I learned all about Aunt Judith and that she would explain things in time and encourage Gran to do the same.

To be continued

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 33 Revisit the Memory Book

I turned the pages slowly looking at black and white photos of mum and Aunt Judith as small children with Aunt Judith in Grans arms and Granddad holding mums hand. It was a nice family photo and then there were some professional photos taken in a studio with some photos of Aunt Judith as a small girl. She was very pretty with long dark hair.

As I turned more pages most photos were of Aunt Judith as she was growing up with different hair styles and at times she looked quite boyish. She seemed to wear trousers a lot and I could recall some school photos of mine where we could easily be mistaken for brother and sister or even for each other.

By the time she was at sixth form college her hairstyle became darker in colour and longer to her shoulders. She sometimes wore it straight and sometimes it was curled.
Then I found the most beautiful close up photograph of her with hardly any make up at all and with her hair tied in a pony tail.

She had no blemishes and was smiling and her teeth were so perfect and her lips full that I wanted to kiss her. I wished that I’d met her and tears started to roll down my cheeks. I had to take care not to let them fall onto the page.

I wanted a copy of the photo so that I could have it enlarged and professionally mounted. I wondered if there was a copy in her bedroom so I hoped that we could take a look.
There were lots of cuttings from local newspaper showing that Aunt Judith had won prizes and played hockey for the school team. Also school reports and awards for good work.
She’d been a bridesmaid and stole the photograph.

Then pages with records of her success at University and photos of her graduation day.
Towards the back was a letter from Gran.

‘To My Darling Judy
I awoke so early at the dawn of this sad new day,
Hoping the nightmare would just go away,
But my tears started flowing, as they did the night before,
Why did I argue and upset you? What was this for?
I Don’t think I can face another broken day,
I hate the reality that you were taken away,
It's just not fair that this has happened to us,
And I’m sorry we argued and you lost my trust,
So I look to the heavens and I asked God "Why"?
Why in the world would a child have to die?
I didn't get an answer that day or the next,
And, I guess looking back; the reason is too complex,
I can never accept that you’ve really gone,
As long as I’m breathing your spirit will live on,
I’m sorry I rejected you I should have accepted you both,
Two souls inside one body, two spirits and one host.’

I turned to the next page but some photos had been removed and then after that were some family photos with mum and Granddad and a photo of mum and I.

Mum came into the room and I flicked back to the poem and asked her what it meant.
She stroked my hair and said that Gran and mum had argued the day that Aunt Judith was killed in the crash and Aunt Judith had stormed out of the house to meet me.

‘But mum what does this mean? ‘Two souls inside one body, two spirits and one host’.

‘Chrissy dear your Aunt Judith had an affair with someone and was 6 months pregnant and had returned home to tell Gran and Granddad. They’d argued with her and said that she’d ruined her life.’.

‘But mum if Aunt Judith was killed did the baby die too?’

‘No Chrissy Aunt Judith died on the operating table but the surgeons managed to save the baby’s life. He was a beautiful little boy who was sadly rejected by Gran and Granddad tried his best to get Gran to accept him but she seemed to blank out everything from her mind and just couldn’t accept that Judith had an affair and came home pregnant.’

‘But mum what happened to the little boy?’

‘His father took him’

To be continued …………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 34 - More truth comes out.

‘But mum that means we have a cousin.’ ‘What happened to him? What happened to Aunt Judith’s boyfriend?’

‘Mmm well Chrissy it’s a difficult story for me to tell since at that time the whole situation was so difficult for all of the family and the death of Judith was a terrible shock to all of us. It was so tragic.’

I looked back into the book at the photo of Aunt Judith that I liked and said to mum that she was the most beautiful woman so it wasn’t a surprise that she fell in love and perhaps she was unlucky to be pregnant.

‘Well Chrissy I want to tell you something that I’ve never had the courage to tell you before.’

Just then a car pulled up in the driveway and it was Julie come to collect us with Sally.
‘OK I’ll have to tell you later when we are alone but first I’d wanted to talk to Gran since she never came to terms with what happened and I hope that we can sort things out once and for all.’

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about so I looked again into the memory book to try to understand more about our family. I found some loose photos in an envelope. There was a photo of Aunt Judith with a good looking man and both of them wore caps and gowns. Then a few more photos of both of them on vacation somewhere with mum and somebody else who had been cut off the photograph.

Mum looked so nice and both her and Aunt Judith looked so happy together. I wanted to keep it since we had next to no photos of mum in her youth in our albums and none of her with dad.

Julie knocked and let herself in followed by Sally who had gathered more belongings from her flat without bumping into Jessica, much to her relief. Julie was disappointed since she’d hoped to have chance to say something despite my instructions.

I whispered to Julie that she’d arrived at the wrong time and that I’d found out some news. She couldn’t keep her voice quiet and blurted out ‘What do you mean, What news?’
Mum interjected quickly and said ‘Chrissy has been looking at the memory book and found out that Aunt Judith was pregnant when she was killed and that the baby was saved.’

‘What do you mean mum?’

I explained the sad poem and that mum had told me that aunt Judith died on the operating table but she was 6 months pregnant and they saved the baby.
‘She had a little boy and mum just told me that the father took him and was never seen again.’

‘No that’s not true Chrissy, I didn’t quite say that dear. I never said that he was never seen again.’

‘Well what did you mean then?’ I said that the father took him.’
Julie said ‘Where did he take him and where is he then?’

Mum looked us and said ‘Let’s sit down’. Sally excused herself to make some tea.

‘Well it’s very complicated since at that time I was engaged to be married and Aunt Judith was in love with someone who she’d met at University. He was married and he already had two young children so Gran was very angry that Judith was ruining her life.

When Gran found out that Judith was pregnant she was even more incensed and she told her that she’d shamed the family. Judith said she was going to leave home and we expected she’d move to Nottingham close to this man. He was a University lecturer.
.
Julie reacted first ‘but surely he would have looked after Aunt Judith and her baby. What happened?’

Mum said that this man didn’t leave his wife and the baby was brought up very well by a substitute mother and has never known anything about his real mother.

Julie turned to me and said ‘We have to find him. He is our cousin and we have no other cousins since dad had no brothers or sisters. We pressed mum and eventually she said that as far as she recalled his name was Darren Harper and he had lived in Nottingham at that time but they’d never kept contact. I felt something was not ringing true. Mum said that he was about 10years older than Aunt Judith but on the photos they looked similar ages.
I asked mum if she minded helping us to locate him and she just said ‘Please be patient a little longer and not to disturb the situation until Gran was settled back home when we could all talk together.

Sally came in with the tea and I was pleased that she had taken so long to be discreet. We finished the tea and I asked mum if we could look in Aunt Judith’s room together to look at the photos but she said she preferred if we waited to ask Gran. It was frustrating since there was so much we wanted to understand about her and our family.

Why had Gran been so secretive and why didn’t mum tell us about her sister before these last few days.

Finally I insisted to borrow the photo I liked so extracted it carefully so that we could scan it and then return it later. Mum accepted.

Then we decided we should make a move so Mum finished tidying around and gathered some belongings for Gran and whilst she did this Sally and I washed the dishes. I filled in some details for Sally since she was clearly dying to ask. In the meantime Julie rang Gary and arranged for us all to meet for a snack together and Julie agreed to drop Mum back at the hospital.

When we arrived home Julie went straight to her computer to scan the photo and she was back downstairs in no time at all with a photo comparison between Aunt Judith and I. ‘
This is why you like the photo so much, you must have felt you were looking in a mirror.’
I just acknowledged it but was pleased that these comparisons were being made since I thought she was beautiful.

Judith and Gary went off to try to research about Nottingham University and ‘Professor Harper’. She was confident that she’d track him down and find our new cousin.

By the time mum arrived home we were all scrutinizing information that Julie had printed and she had found that he was now living in Cheshire and was married with three children, two boys and a girl. The youngest and eldest were boys, Henry and William and the daughter was Kathryn. His wife was teacher and they had moved several time in the last 25 years before settling in Cheshire. We couldn’t find an address but Julie found that he’d been lecturing in Manchester recently and also in Birmingham and London.

I asked mum how Gran was doing since we’d been too engrossed to ask and the news was encouraging. Gran had been sitting up and chatting and was wanting to watch the news on TV. She’d asked about me and wondered if Julie and I would visit tomorrow. We both agreed.
Julie showed mum the photo scan and then how she’d combined it with a photo of me onto the one page. Mum was amazed and even though Julie used a photo of me as Chris my features were obviously the same as those of Aunt Judith and we could easily have been mistaken for sisters.

Mum mumbled something under her breath and then excused herself to use the bathroom and change.

Sally sat with me and said that this was a strange sequence of events starting with my dressing as Chrissy then the problems with Jessica that had thrown us together ,then the credit card problems and finally Grans sudden stroke. She said she thought that there was somebody looking down on me and manipulating the situation.

She was glad we’d not gone to Birmingham and whilst she didn’t wish harm to Gran she was glad all this had happened for my sake as it was bringing some family skeletons out of the cupboard.

I decided we’d had such a stressful day that we should go out to eat and I found a nice pub that we could visit that was about 5 miles away that had availability so I quickly arranged for a taxi to take 6 of us so that we could all relax and have a drink if we wished.

Mum had been quiet and I thought this was more to do with our findings than concern over her mum.
When we arrived at the Three Hares pub it was busy so we were escorted to our table without chance to relax in the bar.

As we finished a plate of antipasti that we all shared I asked mum if she’d ever regretted losing contact with Judith’s son and why there had never been any attempt to keep in contact or tell Julie and I about him.

She said that life sometimes became very complicated but that she’d thought many times about talking to Julie and I and particularly to me especially after father had left us.

‘Mum will you tell us more and let’s not wait any longer please.’.

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 35 Truth comes out

As our main course was being served mum said that we should have a talk when we got home and I said OK since such a talk was long overdue. She responded by saying that the tragedy had a big impact on our family life and our father had eventually had to give in and leave home.

.
To be honest I don’t think that any of us relaxed enough to enjoy the rest of the meal or the night out together and Sally was very quiet but did keep squeezing my hand. Gary made efforts to joke with us but felt uncomfortable as the only visible male.

So we called the cab early and went home and Gary decided to go home to sleep whilst Sally had an early night to read in bed.

Mum, Julie and I settled into the sofa with a bottle of white wine and mum started to explain.

She told us that Aunt Judith, dad and her were very close and that she’d already told us that dad liked Aunt Judith a lot. She said that they’d all spend the occasional weekend in a cottage in Derbyshire at a cottage owned by Darren Harper and that she could understand why Judith fell in love with him even though he was married. He had a great sense of humor and had developed a close relationship with a group of students that included Aunt Judith.

Mum had kept telling Aunt Judith that she needed to take care but she wouldn’t take any notice and the relationship increased in intensity. Then one Christmas eve Aunt Judith had told mum she was pregnant and that she daren’t tell Gran. But she said that Darren wasn’t the father so she couldn’t expect him to leave his wife for her. He didn’t know that and had told his wife about his affair assuming the baby was his.

Julie said ‘So was Aunt Judith seeing somebody else?’. Mum just said ‘No she said she had no regular boyfriend but she’d been very attracted to someone for a while and she couldn’t say who it was.

‘So who was the father since you said that he took the baby away?’ .
‘Julie she never got the chance to tell Gran and I only the father knew.’
I was sitting quiet and then I just said ‘ Mum was Judith my mother ?’
She threw her arms around me and said ‘Yes dear she was’.

Julie hugged me too.

To be continued………………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 36 A night of revelation

We hugged for ages and then mum lifted my chin to ask if I was OK. Somehow it wasn’t a shock to me but it was to Julie who was crying. This was very unusual for Julie.

Mum just said ‘Chrissy you have always been my son and now I’m happy that you have become a second daughter and I like it very much. I have always felt that you were my connection to Judith and we were very close. These last few days it has been as if she walked back through the door but she is still young whilst I’ve grown old The resemblance is remarkable and it shocked Gran back into reality.’

‘Mum do you think I was the cause of her stroke?’

Not at all Chrissy. She had one before as you know and she has a blood pressure and diabetes problem so it’s nothing to do with you.’

Julie sat up and smiled at me. ‘Sis you are my sis no matter what. You were my brother but I love you more than ever as a sister.’

Now she made me cry.

‘Mum what happened after the crash?’ ‘Why did Aunt Judith, my other mum, die and yet I lived?

‘The doctors had a choice to make and no time to loose. Judith was in a terrible state and they couldn’t stop the bleeding. After they saved you she stabilized for a while but she’d lost a lot of blood. I was called to see her and my lasting memory was that she opened her eyes and tried to reach me.’ ‘It was the most awful night of my life.’

‘So what happened after that.’

‘You were placed in an incubator and since you were very premature you hardly weighed anything at all.’ ‘You were there for three weeks long after the inquest and the funeral and Gran and Granddad did come to see you.’

But what about my father? Where was he? What about dad, Where was he?

‘Your dad was looking after Gran and Granddad and later he dealt with the hospital and the registrations. We had to get special permission to register ourselves as your guardians since your real mum was dead and we’d no proof about your real father only suspicion that it was Professor Harper.’ ‘I had to contact him and he was devastated and blamed himself for not standing by Judith.’

‘So what happened to me after that since you said that my father took me away?’

‘Well it’s a complicated story after that since the lorry driver was prosecuted by the police and the newspapers were hounding him. Gran was in a permanent daze and I had been making preparations to marry your dad so we had to suspend everything. Then there was you to consider. A poor little mite fighting for his life and no mum to take care of you and feed you..’

‘Gran got worse and was admitted to hospital for a while for observation. She attempted to kill herself with an overdose and luckily Granddad found her in time because he’d come home from work early.’

‘Your dad and I discussed what to do and he persuaded me that we should take care of you and that I should pack in my job and we would then wait for Gran to recover enough to help’.

‘Dad and I collected you from the hospital and you were a little angel’ ‘We postponed our wedding for 3 months and I sacrificed all the glitz for a small wedding with less than 30 close family and friends since my darling sister was missing.’ ‘We had a honeymoon in Cornwall and then 12 months later Julie came along.’

Mum then said it was late and that she’d had a long and stressfull day so she was ready for bed. We tidied up and went to bed and Sally was still awake.

I snuggled up beside her since she was warm and she’d waited patiently.

Then I told her about mums revelations and how the surgeons had made a choice between me and Judith and how sad I felt. She just said ‘Chrissy it wasn’t your fault you were not to blame.’

‘Yes I am and look at me now. Was this my punishment? Was I born premature and ended up in the wrong body?’

I eventually fell asleep but I tossed and turned all night thinking about what mum had said.

Did I mean Mum or Aunt Jennifer? It was strange because mum is my mum.

Now I was determined more than ever to have the photo of my real mum and to look through her belongings in her room that were my true inheritance.

I woke up early and went downstairs for some tea. ‘Mum’ was already up and she embraced me as I entered the kitchen. I must have looked like I was dragged through a hedge but she ruffled my hair to tidy it up.

‘Chrissy I’m sorry that I never told you before but each time I tried something bad seemed to happen

First Grandad was taken ill and then when he was better Gran became ill again. Dad broke his leg and was made redundant and we struggled for a while so I started work again. Dad found another job which meant he worked away a lot and then Granddad was taken ill again and he never recovered.

You became very introverted and your school work suffered for a while so I did some extra tuition at home. I just couldn’t risk telling you incase you were badly affected.

Then one day Professor Harper turned up at our door and I flew into a rage and called him a coward. I told him that he didn’t have the guts to face the music and how he’d never shown his face once and shown any interest in me.

I said ‘Mum you told me that he took me away so where did he take me?.

‘Chrissy he never took you anywhere. He just showed me a letter that he’d received from Judith and as I read it I collapsed’.

To be continued…………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 37

‘Mum what did it say that caused you to faint?’

‘It was a letter from Judith saying how much she loved him but how she didn’t expect him to leave his wife and family for her because she didn’t deserve him.’

‘Why?’

‘Because she’d fallen pregnant through her carelessness and that she was going to have to learn to fend for herself since he had an important career that she didn’t wish to spoil, but also that he had a wife and 2 children who he needed to look after’

‘But mum he should still be responsible for her and to take of her. Why did she say this to him because it was his responsibility.’

‘No Chrissy it turned out that might not have been quite true.’

‘Why?’

‘Because she wasn’t sure that he was the father since she’d slept with another man and they’d not taken any precautions just as Professor Harper hadn’t sometimes.’

‘But mum who did she think the father was?’

Mum held my hand and looked into my eyes and said in a very quiet voice ‘She told him that she had slept with your father and that she felt that it was him who had made her pregnant.’

‘Dad…are you saying that dad is my dad?’ ‘Mum was it true?’

Before she had chance to answer Julie came through the kitchen door and she asked what we were discussing since our faces were so serious.

I said that our mum had just told me who my father was, well at least who Judith thought the father was.’

‘Who was it tell me?

‘It was dad.’

What do you mean? Are you joking with me? How could that have been?’

Then mum relayed the story again and Julie sat quietly before holding mum and saying ‘Mum how awful for you to hear that news so soon after Judith died.’ ‘You must have been devastated and no wonder you collapsed.

Who took care of you? Did you have a heart attack?

‘No Chrissy I didn’t I’d just fainted that I suppose was hyper-tension or panic.’

‘I came around and Darren was holding my head up and gave me some sips of water.

‘So what else did the letter say, anything?’.

‘Julie mum has just fainted here and all you are interested in is what the letter said’.

‘Hum I’m sorry but what did it say?’

‘Most of it was related to her love for him and her guilt for what she’d done. She said that she had to tell me before the wedding or she’d never forgive herself.

Darren picked me up and helped me to the sofa. We sat and talked for ages and then I decided to wake you and let him hold you. He was very happy to see your little smiling face and tears were in his eyes.’

Mum said that he’d calmed her right down and he told her that he’d met with Judith after he received the letter. He said that he was concerned that this would cause trouble between them both and he wanted to avoid it at all costs.

He told mum that after his talk with Judith she couldn’t be certain that dad was the father and it seemed like she wanted it to be the case.

Julie asked ‘Didn’t they have some tests done.?’ .

Mum said that at the time this wasn’t high on Judiths priority list since she was pretty sure but she also needed to tell Gran that she was pregnant. Anyway mum said that tests weren’t so common place or conclusive in those days.

‘But mum surely she needed to know for sure , this was dad and you that were being affected. You were getting married.’’

Mum said that she’d felt Judith always had a special feeling for dad and maybe she didn’t want to know in case it was Darren. For mum it was bad enough to think that Judith and dad had been unfaithful to her without thinking he’d made her pregnant.

Julie then asked mum what happened next. The conversation stopped because I heard you crying so I went to pick you up. ‘When I looked at you I just thought you were the one good thing that came out of this awful situation and maybe you’d survived as a blessing to us all.’

I remember thinking that it would be better if dad was your dad instead of Darren since it made us all a family.Then you stopped crying and I laid you back down and I looked at you and I thought about Judith. Then I just knelt and prayed at the side of your cot and I promised Judith in my prayer that I would love you forever and whatever happened I would try to hang on to my relationship with your dad for both your sakes.’ I took you downstairs and handed you to Darren.

What about dad.‘Did he know?’

‘No I am sure that he never knew at that point and Darren said he had no intention of telling him.As he held you in his arms and said that he would never forget mum as long as he lived. Then he promised to me that he would try to do something to ensure that you were always comfortable.’

‘What do you mean mum?

‘Well one thing he did was to set up a bank account for you and that it was a nest egg for you to cover any costs such as private education or your wedding day.’

‘But mum I didn’t want to go to private school. Is that why you were always trying to push me to go to St Mary’s?’

‘Yes it was but I never told you.’

I said ‘Mum was this the cause of the problems between you and dad? Is this why you argued and fell out and why he left us?’

‘Yes and no.’

‘What do you mean?’.

Mum went quiet and started to make breakfast as she talked and Julie and I helped.

It was nice to look at the sun shining in the garden and the weather was getting warmer. Somehow the initial shock was wearing off and I was sure that dad must be my dad and I really wanted that so that I could be a sister to Julie rather than a cousin.

Mum then told us that Darren Harper gave her the letter and she kept it for a while until one day she’d decided to tell Gran. Then she’d given it to her and she’d still got it.
Unfortunately it was a mistake to tell Gran because she couldn’t hide her feelings and she confronted your dad eventually calling him names.

Your dad was speechless and it meant that we hardly visited Gran much after that. She couldn’t accept you because of the infidelity that had taken place even though you were Judiths baby boy. That’s why we hardly visited.

‘Gran couldn’t accept that Judith had done anything wrong and by rejecting dad and you she seemed to be able to live with it.’

‘Mum do you mind if we go back to Grans house later since I’d like to look in Aunt Judiths room. Now I think that I have the right to look and in fact more right than anybody’
OK Chrissy lets get breakfast served whilst you wake Sally and we’ll go around later if Julie doesn’t mind taking us.

Over breakfast Sally got another update and she said that she hardly dare go to bed again because she missed everything. I brought a few smiles.

I told mum that I wanted to be alone at Grans and so the plans were changed. Sally stayed back and mum and Julie dropped me at Grans and carried on to see her.

As I went upstairs I felt a strange feeling coming over me. I felt a shiver of cold down my back and my legs were weak so I sat on Aunt Judith/mums bed and looked around the room.
It was as if she was still alive and living in the house since Gran was keeping everything spick and span and changing the bedding, towels and Aunt Judiths dressing gown was folded neatly at the end of her bed.

I lay down and looked up at the ceiling hardly daring to put my head on the pillow.
Then I felt something under the pillow and sat up to see what it was.

As I lifted the pillow I found a desk diary that I opened. It was Aunt Judiths day journal.It was as if she’d secured it there out of sight to write in when she came back.
I scanned the pages and reached the last entry.

Then my phone bleeped with a message and I jumped out of my skin. It was Jessica!

Grrrr.

To be continued……….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 38 Aladdins Cave

I just ignored the text and focused back on the journal. I didn’t want to hear rubbish from Jessica just now.

The last entry said
‘ I had a bad day today. I had a big argument with mum but at least dad was on my side. I feel I need to get away for a while. D is under pressure and only Jen to turn to. Wish mum hadn’t hit the roof again since I said some awful things that I didn’t mean. She just doesn’t understand so maybe tomorrow I will talk to her again to try to explain everything. Lucky I’m going out with Jen and her friends tonight. Love her to bits and I don’t want to hurt her. So what to do? I’ll think of something.’

I tried to put myself in her position and think how she was feeling as she wrote that last message. She wasn’t to know that was her last message. I wondered how my life would have been if she hadn’t been killed. Maybe I’d have been more outgoing and confident at school and gone to the same university as Aunt Judith. Maybe I’d have still had a close friendship with Julie as a cousin and maybe mum would have had another boy. A strong boy like dad who he could have been proud of.’

I read a few pages about relationship with Darren Harper and how they’d had a week together at a conference in London and it was obvious that they loved each other. I wondered what Gran had thought about this since she was sure to have read the journal.
Then I got another text message and this time it was from Sally. I wondered if it was to do with the text from Jessica so I opened them.

Jessica had sent a message to ask if we were enjoying ourselves in Birmingham and she hoped we weren’t spending too much. That confirmed it as far as I was concerned it was some evidence at least that she was at the back of my credit card problems. I’d forgotten all about that with everything that had happened. She had a blooming cheek!

I opened Sally’s message and she said I’d had a couple of telephone calls from the credit card Company. I called her and told her about the text and she said that I should go to the police.

I said that was difficult if I was dressed as I was and I was fearful of being arrested myself. I didn’t know the law about dressing in public and certainly about visiting ladies bathrooms and dressing rooms in the shopping centres.

Maybe I’d have to revert to Chris and go see them but just now I couldn’t bring myself to dress as a man again. What to do?

I said that I’d probably call the fraud department man who left his telephone number and let them know about it but that I’d wait until I got home. Julie was going to pick me up in half an hour or so and then we were going to call and see Gran and bring mum home. I knew what Julie would think.

Then I had a thought and I decided to text back to Jessica.
'I couldn't go to Birmingham. I had some bad luck. My bank account has been raided and somebody has charged to my credit card. So I had to so it out and now on top of that I had some other bad news.'

'I told you that you deserved everything that is coming to you. I expected that you would run out of luck. What's your bad news? Can I help?'

'No thanks I'm in a mess. No money and Gran in hospital'.

Sad. "I can lend you money you only have to ask'.

'Thanks I'm OK I will see you tomorrow.'

That was it I was sure she was at the back of this.

I put the phone down and then tidied the bed that I’d crumpled. My skirt was crumpled too and I found my shoes that I’d kicked off and tidied myself. I looked in the dress mirror and was pleased how I looked and then I decided to look in the wardrobes and drawers to see Aunt Judith’s taste. Everything was neatly hung and folded.

I looked at her raincoat and couldn’t resist to try it on. The style was a little dated but it was high quality. I thought maybe it was a gift from Darren Harper. There were other expensive coats and two beautiful evening gowns. There must have been twenty pairs of shoes and boots. I looked at the sizes that were size 51/2 compared to my size 6. I suppose most people have bigger feet than their mum these days. At least Julie and I had the same size.

She had drawers full of lingerie in all colors and I was sure that some were gifts looking at the material and the styles. If the circumstances had been different I couldn’t have resisted them.

Then the doorbell went so I looked at my watch. I hadn’t realized how time had passed so I put the journal back and went downstairs.

Julie came in for 5 minutes to use the loo and then I told her what I’d found and also about the text from Jessica. ‘Let’s get the little bitch’ she said. ‘Come on I’ve had enough.’

I laughed at her and said I preferred to deal with this properly with the fraud office of my bank and also with Kate at work tomorrow. She agreed that I was being more sensible but she still wanted chance to punch her nose as soon as possible.

I showed her the journal but despite her prompts I didn’t open too many pages since I wanted to read it alone first that she understood.

Then as I showed her the clothes in the wardrobe I tried on two of the coats and Julie insisted to take photos with her new i-phone. She said that I was every inch a young woman and if I went to the police dressed like this they’d be too mesmerized to throw me in a cell. We laughed together.

Then Julie insisted that I try on one of the evening dresses. It was full length and black that needed stiletto heels. Julie took hers off and said ‘Easy done’.

It was strapless and off the shoulder and needed a fuller bust than I had so Julie padded me a little. Maybe I wasn’t courageous enough yet to pad out full time.

I added a necklace and some clip on earrings out of the jewelry boss on the dressing table that didn’t quite match but gave a good effect. Julie said ‘Right that’s it, we need to do ear piercing next.’

The dress hugged me at the waist and I really like the material. The dress was training too much on the bedroom floor so I put on Julies shoes. I felt quite tall as I turned to look in the mirror. ‘Wow’ I couldn’t believe it. Was that me? By this time Julie was snapping away if indeed you can snap with an i-phone.

She passed me a black evening bag from the shelf in the wardrobe where there was quite a collection. I was feeling a little bit guilty but the feeling in my stomach was just like I’d tasted the most gorgeous cheesecake in the world. I wanted more.

Julie smiled . ‘You look like a film star at the Oscars’

I blushed since I knew this was a vast exaggeration so I said ‘Are you sure I don’t look like Oscar at the star film show?’

‘OK Ozzie if you insist’..’Come on be confident and give me a twirl.’
I just loved the feeling of the long dress and I wished I could have the chance to wear it one day.

By now it felt like we were in Aladdin’s cave that I didn’t want to leave. I liked to be so open in front of Julie and for her to treat me like a sister after all these years.

I wanted to find out as much as I could about Aunt Judith and I hoped that Gran was improving and could accept me now after all these years so I thought hard about how to approach her and convince her to let me spend time with her so that I could talk to her to share her memories and maybe find even more information. I’d no idea how she might react to my appearance but based on the first visit I think that mum was right to feel that it might have helped release a lot of built up emotion.

By now I thought we should make a move and go to the hospital so I carefully undressed and hung up the dress replacing the plastic cover. Julie helped me and we tried to make everything as neat and tidy as we could. Pity that Julie wanted her shoes back though so I thought I might invest in a pair one I had my credit card back and assuming I didn’t lose any more money from my accounts.

I sent a message to Sally to let her know what time we expected to be back and she said that she’d gone into town to pick up some bits and pieces to replace ones that were still at her flat.

When we arrived at the hospital Gran was sat up in bed and mum was in the armchair alongside reading the Sunday magazines that came with the newspapers. I’d expected Gran to look ill but she looked as bright as I’d seen her before and she smiled as we entered the room. It was strange but we’d never had such a welcome before.

Mum briefed us on the daily reports and Gran chipped in to say she wanted to go home because she hated to be confined to bed. Mum just said she’d have to do as she was told for once.

Gran looked at me in a strange way and said that I’d surprised her and that I’d brought back a lot of very happy memories once she’d gotten over the shock of seeing me. She said that I was the image of Judith but she didn’t say much more because I don’t think mum had told her how much we knew.

As it happens I didn’t need to ask Gran about visiting her because she said she hoped that we could visit her a lot more frequently since she had a lot to tell us after all these years and she whispered ‘particularly me.’ Poor Julie she did look disappointed that she was the outcast.

As we walked to the car to go home I got a call from Sally.

‘Hi Chrissy I have just got back to your house and a car pulled up as I arrived. I was a bit surprised and wary.

You’ve got a visitor and if you don’t mind I’ve let him come in.’

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 39 Visitor surprise

I asked Sally who it was and she said it was a surprise and not to worry. She wouldn’t tell me anymore.

When I arrived home I didn’t recognize the car and in fact it was a Hertz hire car when I looked at it more closely. When I took off my shoes and went into the lounge in my nyloned feet I looked to see who was waiting. it was James.

‘What are you doing here?’ I mumbled.

‘I thought that you’d be pleased to see me.’

‘I’m sorry but it was a shock. I didn’t mean to sound like that.’

‘I came to ensure that you were OK because I was worried.’ ‘Did I make a mistake?’

‘No I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just surprised to see you that’s all.’

I looked at Sally who seemed a little bit dejected so I said that we’d both been looking forward to a weekend in Birmingham together and she brightened.

I said that a lot had happened and I’d had no time to think since I left work on Friday.

James told me that he was really looking forward to our visit and he wanted to see me and he had been moping about so his friend Josh had offered to drive him up for the afternoon but he expected he’d have to do a favor back in return.

Josh looked like a sports type and even though James is six feet tall Josh towered above him. They both made me feel small. James came over and kissed my lips lightly and his timing was bad just as mum and Julie walked into the lounge to say hello.

Mum coughed politely and I looked at her and flushed. I managed to stammer my way through the introductions. Julie was clearly impressed with Josh as he shook hands and when he shook hands with me his handshake was strong. I’d watched Julie to see how she responded and tried to do the same. I wondered how Josh and James could be friends since James is not the sports type of person even though he is tall.

Mum asked them to sit down so Sally hunched up to the end of the sofa and James and Josh filled the rest of it so I sat on the arm next to Sally.

Julie offered to get some drinks so I went to help her. She said ‘Sis you didn’t tell me he was good looking. He seems nice but how about his friend he’s a real hunk?’
I said that I thought she was madly in love and she laughed and said ‘ Not quite don’t forget I’ve still got letters after my name - AA.’

I said what do you mean Alcohol Anonymous? Automobile Association? what are you talking about? She laughed and said ‘No silly Always Available.’

‘ Don’t worry he might be a hunk but we are always allowed to look so we keep our options open, just in case.’

Then she asked if I had feelings for James as boy on boy or was it girl on boy since I clearly had a relationship with Sally.

We laughed together after my reply ‘I’m now AA like you thanks very much, I’m just keeping my options open too.’

But seriously I did seem to have a special relationship with Sally that I didn’t want to upset and I was feeling more comfortable each day as Chrissy because of her and Julie and wasn’t sure that I was looking for a relationship with James.

However I did admit that it had been nice to be kissed by him when I’d met him and that it made me feel different afterwards. I’d never been kissed by a man before and his beard stubble didn’t feel bad that I would have expected.

‘So what are you going to do sis?’ Julie asked. I just shrugged and said I would try to be polite and have something to eat with them and invite Sally along.

Mum was chattering away when we took the drinks in and was telling James all about her concerns over the bank account and credit card problems. James stood up to take his drink and said ‘Do you have any idea who it is who might have information about your account? After I told him more about Jessica he was also convinced this was her doing and that I should inform the police.

I said that it was difficult because of current circumstances and he understood. I wasn’t sure if he’d told Josh about me or not. I just said that I’d decided to call the credit card company and my bank special customer services office and let them deal with it.

So I did that next and went through to the kitchen to make the calls. Sally came with me.

After the calls I asked Sally if she’d come for a meal if I asked them since I couldn’t just let them go back. She didn’t seem too enthusiastic but she agreed and then we made arrangements with James and Josh. I did confirm with James that Josh didn’t know about me whilst Josh used the bathroom and James just said he might tell him on the way home unless he guessed or asked in the meantime.

Julie said she’d like to join us if we didn’t mind and she’d meet us somewhere with Gary if it was OK.

‘It’s very OK with me sis.’ She called Gary and then suggested we went for a Chinese meal since it was Sunday and most places around catered for lunch on Sundays.

We left poor mum alone but she was happy for the chance to relax.

It was a very nice meal together and Julie had teased me and said ‘Let’s sit boy girl, boy girl.’. I was pleased really and just teased her back ‘OK will you sit next to Josh then and I’ll sit the other side next to James so Sally can sit with Gary. She put out a little bit of her tongue.

We chatted about all sorts of things and found out that Josh was a rugby player and Julie had teased him to say he was too good looking to play rugby so he should find another sport. He said he tried to keep out of the way on the wing and was very fast. She was flirting a little bit until Gary intervened and switched the subject to my job and my promotion to work for Kate Harper. James was keen to know how the girls he’d met at the Hen night fitted in and why Jessica had been so difficult.

Then he said ‘What’s her connection with Kate Harper?’ I was surprised and said ‘Where did that come from?’

He just shrugged and said ‘Well she never could get promoted on merit based on what I heard so there must be another reason.’

I just said ‘It can’t be true,’ but I must admit it made me think a bit.
Julie just said maybe Kate is not straight and Jessica is her bitch on the side. “ I said Julie no don’t say things like that. Besides Kate is too nice and much too professional to promote somebody because she likes them.’

‘Oh I forgot Kate is Ms Wonderful and I mustn’t tease.’

James said that we’d soon find out if I talked to Kate as I planned and told her about Jessica. It made me think a bit but then I decided I must see Kate as soon as I could tomorrow in case the bank fraud office or the police called her.

When we’d finished dinner the waiter made up some doggy bags since Josh said he’d finish it when he got home. We shared the bill except that James wanted to pay for me since I needed to hold onto my cash. In the end he gave me little choice but to accept and as mum often said ‘ Be polite and accept kindness but first ensure it is kindness and nothing else.’

I was sure it was an act of kindness from James that I appreciated. But it was a nice feeling to be treated and for him to behave as a gentleman holding my coat and bag and moving my chair. Luckily Gary did the same for Sally so she wasn’t too envious but poor Julie had no coat that I’m sure she regretted with Josh at her side.

We decided that James and Josh would drive home and that Julie and Gary would drive Sally and I back.

James kissed me good night and then Josh kissed both my cheeks in the continental way. He was indeed very good looking and would be a good catch for somebody.

As we settled into the back of Julies car Sally turned to me and said ‘chrissy can I ask you something? Do you love James or me the most?’

To be continued………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 40 Question answered

What could I say?

‘Sally please you don’t expect me to answer that really do you?’ ‘Of course I hardly know James and maybe it is just intrigue or just that I feel flattered or even that I am having feelings that I can’t control.’

‘With you it’s different. I never expected this situation and I have really become very attached to you and I like to be with you. It feels like I’ve known you for years not days or weeks.’

‘Can you have patience with me a little longer and can we enjoy our time together because I’m just surprised that you are attracted to me and you’ve given me a new found confidence.’ ‘Will you accept that I do love you more than I love James and not feel jealous and accept my weird situation until I can come to terms with it.?’

It was deathly quiet in the car so obviously Gary and Julie were listening..

Sally looked at me and squeezed my hand and then she smiled as tears filled her eyes. ‘I’m sorry but I got very jealous today and to see James kiss you made me feel upset.’

‘Please understand that I was pleased to see James today but it was a surprise. I didn’t invite him and didn’t even consider inviting him so I don’t know how he’d found my address.’

Sally said she knew how because Josh was on duty as security at the nightclub in Birmingham after the skirmish and we had all provided our names and addresses when the manager was called. It was Josh who persuaded the Manager not to get the police involved because he knew James.

I didn’t remember Josh but Sally did because Jessica had been chatting him up and joked about it back home in the apartment. Then she said did I know that James girlfriend had worked at the nightclub when she first met him and that she was Josh’s cousin. Sally said that she still might be chasing James and to take care because she might also still have contacts who would give her my address.

She also reminded me that we’d used my credit card to pay the entry fee at the nightclub so it might not be Jessica. I was still sure she was involved and I the credit card Company had asked me to confirm where I had last used the card that was in Birmingham at the hotel and at the nightclub.

I still felt it was Jessica and intended following my original plan to discuss with Kate Harper. I couldn’t forget her sneer when she’d said I deserved everything that was coming to me.

Julie then piped up ‘Have you two kissed and made up yet or are we going to have to suffer all the way home? It made us smile. and so it was a good excuse and I’m not sure who kissed who then. I just closed my eyes and said ‘Oh James you are so sexy.’

I got a thump for that but it was worth it to lighten the conversation.

We were soon home and mum had gone to bed early so Sally and I left Julie and Gary to relax in the lounge and we went upstairs. We soon snuggled up in bed and I asked Sally why she felt that she loved me since our relationship was not conventional. She said that I was kind and gentle and she preferred that to the aggressive male type. I asked if she’d had relationships with any girls as she grew up and she said ‘we all do we are not like men where we feel guilty to show feelings to close friends.’

I asked if she viewed me as a man or woman and she said ‘Is that your revenge because I asked if you loved James more than me?’

I sighed and said ‘Well a bit but really I’m now in a situation where I like living as a girl but I don’t know if this can be permanent or not or where it might lead.’

‘Sally when you look at me what do you think? Am I a freak or a geek or what?’

‘Well I must say you are not a freak or a geek but you are a nice curiosity. I see a person that I like who has been very kind to me’.

‘What do you see when you look at me?’

‘I see you and even before we went to Birmingham I didn’t relate to you as a man but as you. I didn’t know you but you seemed nice and I did feel you were quiet and shy but now you aren’t. By the way did I tell you that you have very feminine eye lashes?’

‘Mmm I wish that I had real boobies and a nice bum like you. My bum is too small and I wish I had better shape.’

Sally tickled me and said ‘OK that’s enough of this you are just fishing for complements. You know that I have already fallen in love with you.’

‘Did you ever fancy a girl at school, or even a boy for that matter?’ ‘Well I did look at girls a lot and yes I was even approached by a boy.’ ‘But I was too shy.’
‘What do you think of Kate Harper?’ Do you fancy her?’

‘Well I must admit she is a looker and she is very strong and I like her dress style.’
‘Oh so you fancy her then?’ ‘Do you think that she fancies you?’

‘Don’t be silly she is my boss.’ ‘I like her a lot but she doesn’t seem to be the type that would fancy a man who wears a dress’

‘You don’t mean that. You know that is not you. My feeling is that you were different and now I feel you were always more female than male.’

‘ I like it here with you and I already feel like I’ve known you for years. Your sister is very nice and Gary too. I can’t believe your dad would ever leave a super mum like you’ve got. I wish that I’d had a closer relationship with my mum.’

‘What about Jessica. Do you think she hates you or does she like
to dominate you or do you think that she fancies you too?’

‘Well I think she does have a strange personality. At first I liked her because she was confident but then I realized she wasn’t as experienced as she made out and she couldn’t answer questions so I found that I had to help her. But she always seemed to take the credit.’ ‘She did like to humiliate me but I don’t know why because I never did anything to her.’

‘Well I know her and I’ve talked to Mary Jo about her because she’s known her longer than we’ve known her. She says that she is insecure because she was adopted when she was young and that she then became very aggressive at school and was often in trouble. She calmed down when she found her real family and traced her mother.’

‘Was her mother still alive then?’

‘Yes I think so and I think that there is some connection to Kate Harper.’

‘What do you mean some connection?’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 41 Sorting out my mind

‘Well how can she get that position without help. It seems like she has no qualifications so somebody must be helping her. Who else can it be?’

I said ‘That’s just guesswork with no facts or evidence ‘

‘Mary Jo told me that Jessica had been very happy after she found her real family and told her that she was secure for life as her real mother came from a rich family and that her grandfather owned a big business. She’d been told she would be looked after but that her grandfather could never find out about her.’

‘So if this is true are you suggesting Kate Harper knows and has been told to look after her?’

‘Well she might know and you never know there maybe a family connection and.Kate Harper is young to have a job in such an important position’

‘Come on we are just guessing now. But I might have to take care what I say to Kate tomorrow.’

We snuggled deeper under the bed covers and Sally put her arms around me. ‘Sometimes I wish you were my man to make love to me but mostly I like you to be my girlfriend and I want to make love with you Any chance or shall I read my book?’

I laughed at her since she had changed a lot and I liked that she could tease me back. Perhaps she was safe with me because I lacked male aggression and then maybe she preferred me as a woman.’ ‘Why was I so easily accepted as Chrissy by Sally, Julie, mum and Kate. Even by the other girls in the office? Why didn’t they hate me or make fun of me? Can women accept this more than men. But James accepts me and what about Gary? What about Jason did he know? What about Dave Roberts at work?’

‘Come on Chrissy ‘Are you in space?’

I smiled and kissed her warm lips and couldn’t resist to let her know that I liked her by giving her a Chrissy kiss.

It must have been an hour before we finally fell to sleep and I could feel some dampness on my panties so I was pretty sure that Sally was completely contented.
The next morning mum was up early and I heard her in the bathroom so I got up to make her some tea as a nice surprise.

I opened the curtains and it was a beautiful spring morning with a bright sky and birds busy in the garden feeding from the bird table and the nuts that mum hung out to attract them. I liked this part of the year and I felt really soft and warm in my dressing gown.

As mum came into the kitchen she saw the tea and smiled as she said good morning. ‘You look like the mouse that got the cheese this morning Chrissy so what’s happened.
‘Nothing mum, nothing much anyway but I was just thinking how nice it is and of the changes that have been taking place this last week’. ‘Do you mind?’

Mum looked at me and said’ Not at all, not at all.’

I don’t suppose I needed her to say anything else since I could tell by her eyes that she loved me whatever. She busied herself to make some toast and so I asked her if she minded to remain as mum even though I’d found out that her sister was my real mum.

She seemed very pleased that I’d said that and just said ‘Now I feel very happy that I’m released of a big burden that I’ve carried and I’ve seen my mum open up like a spring flower and most of all that I’ve found a new daughter and my sister. But mostly I’m happy that my son smiles and is more outgoing and whether he is boy or girl he seems happy too.’
‘Wow mum we are mushy this morning aren’t we’ “I’ll be crying on my toast soon and I need to be in an aggressive mood today as well to sort out about Jessica.’

It was nice to have those ten or fifteen minutes together before I eventually kissed her and said ‘Thanks mum for treating me as your son all my life and for taking care of me so well. I will make you proud of me.’

I had to wake Julie since the weather was nice and I needed advice and her help to dress for work. In the end I chose a black skirt and white top that accentuated the bosom that we’d created. I wished it could be a real bosom even though my man boobs seemed to be more sensitive and were easily stimulated these days. I guess I wanted them to grow and I was sure that they were a little bigger.

As I arrived to the office I was complemented by Shirley on reception. She said I looked lovely today ‘Who is the lucky person?’
I just smiled and said ‘Thank you Shirl I feel nice today. it must be because it’s spring.’

When I got to my office I had a nice surprise. I found some daffodils on my desk with a note attached. ‘Have a nice day’. There was no signature or other message attached.
I put them in a vase and made a pot of coffee for Kate and then got a text message from her to say she was running late so the flowers weren’t from her. She asked me to check my inbox to change some appointments around for her. She’d left me quite a few other tasks so I wasn’t going to get much spare time today.

I sorted out her diary and contacted our departmental managers to re-schedule some sales and Buying Strategy meetings. She had a slot in her diary for me that I left as was. That would be my chance I hoped.

When I rang the garage to arrange a service on Kates car I introduced myself and was then chatted up for ten minutes by the service manager. He was funny and a little bit rude and I couldn’t imagine being so suggestive if I’d called a girl. I must have been too shy.

I wanted to talk to Jessica but I felt I was better to see Kate first so I decided to ring Anne to see if she was free for lunch so I could have a chat about things and update her about my weekend that never was. She was happy to meet me. Then she said she’d seen Jessica disappear upstairs with a bunch of daffodils as she passed in the office.
That did it they went into the waste bin.

Then Kate arrived looking smart in a pin striped trouser suit that looked like it was a designer label. She looked tall and slim and I could see that she would turn heads. I wished I was as slim as her. She put down her briefcase and bag and tossed back her hair and I just was speechless for a few moments. Then she asked if I’d sorted things out and after I confirmed I’d done everything she was clearly pleased and asked if I’d take her a coffee through.

I nervously asked if I could speak to her about something at our meeting that afternoon and she just said. ‘Sure, no problem’ and took another sip of coffee whilst her computer started up.

I felt that I should talk to Dave Roberts in HR first to ensure that I was doing things properly but in view of what Jessica had told me I wanted to talk to Kate since now she was my direct boss as far as I was concerned even though the appointment was temporary.
Kate sat back in her chair as the computer loaded up and asked me how my weekend had been and had I enjoyed meeting up with James.

I told her that the arrangements had to change and he had been to see me the day before because Gran had been taken ill suddenly so I’d had to cancel. I chose not to mention the credit card problem and mentioned about the visit to see Gran with mum and that she was recovering. I wanted to tell her everything about the weekend but I could tell that it wasn’t the right time or place but I could see that she cared. Then she said ‘look after your mum, she needs you more than ever at a time like this.’

She said it with such genuine feeling that I was touched. Then she asked if I was OK and I smiled and said ‘Thanks Ms Harper.’ She laughed and said ‘Go on back to your desk, Ms Harper indeed.’

I busied myself with some reports that Kate asked me to review for her and organize into her filing system. She seemed to know everything about each stores performance in the country as well as looking at the Area Managers reports and making comments. She was young but she was very astute and quick with numbers.

Then she came to my desk and told me that now had to go to Manchester the next day so to try to get the car service done that afternoon and cancel her appointments but more than that she said she wanted me to go with her. I wondered who she had been talking to that caused this change in her plans. She said it would have to be an early start.

I rang my Service Manager friend and tried to use my charm. It seemed to work and he said he’d manage it just for me but I owed him a favor. I said we appreciated it and that I’d leave the keys at reception. Then he said ‘You bring them down please and I’ll be there myself in 15 minutes.’

He put the phone down before I had chance to speak.

Kate was pleased as I told her the arrangements and told me to use the spare keys in the safe. I arrived at Shirleys desk just as the Service Manager arrived. He smiled and said ‘Ms Harpers assistant I presume. Sorry I don’t know your name I’m Mark Legard, Special Service Agent double zero five and a half.’ I laughed and said l was hoping for agent double zero seven but realized there was a recession.

He seemed nice and he was very chirpy and confident. I could imagine he was married though he didn’t wear a wedding ring. He shook hands with me and said ‘to whom do I have the pleasure of meeting.’ I blushed from head to toe and said ‘Chrissy, Chrissy Taylor.’ Then he said he was doing this specially for me so that I’d get on the good side of Ms Harper. ‘if you are in her good books I think you’ll go far.’

Then he shook hands and said he’d be back at 5-30pm and he’d call me to confirm or if anything was needed.

Shirley was looking on and she just smiled and said. He’s a charmer so be careful.’
I laughed and said he was a funny guy ‘but not my type.’

A bit later I met Anne in reception and we decided to walk around the corner to a coffee shop since I liked their tuna wraps.

We managed to get a quiet table in the corner and I told Anne about what happened with my credit card and bank card and about the train journey and Grans illness. She couldn’t believe it and was very caring. However she didn’t believe that Jessica would be so stupid so I told her what she’d said about deserving everything that came to me.

That changed her opinion a bit and then she agreed that I’d be better to talk to Kate rather than put in a formal complaint. When I told her what Sally had said about Jessica’s possible connection with Kate she was even more intrigued and said that the girls in the office had suspected something too.

They couldn’t understand how she had survived with Kate being so astute and demanding and that Jessica didn’t seem to be concerned about her image or her performance appraisal that was coming up soon. Other managers had been quickly moved on if they didn’t perform. They’d said that I should have been offered the job.

I just said that now I had no complaints since really this had worked out well for me but the problem was that it is temporary and I don’t know how the Company will react in the long term since I’d changed my appearance. I was relying heavily on the support of Kate and I didn’t feel that I could risk making accusations against Jessica if there was some relationship.

My mind wasn’t made up but Anne made a good suggestion to talk to my bank and let them investigate it with the Company and just tell Kate that they had asked where I’d used the card and where I worked. I did agree but I said that I would also tell Kate that Jessica had acted strangely and made the comment to me so I wanted to discuss if the job I was doing was satisfactory and could be permanent. I thought I’d let the bank and credit card Companies do the investigation and see what happened.

So when I got back to the office I called my bank and explained my feelings and also reconfirmed about using my credit card in Birmingham in the nightclub. They said they’d contact the credit card company that was linked to my bank and not to worry about the money that should be recoverable. A new bank card would be issued later in the week.

I did wonder about telling them about my change in circumstances since Ms C Taylor might be better than C Taylor on my card. But it wasn’t the right time and I still couldn’t be certain if this would carry on until I’d talked to Kate and mum and Julie and of course Sally as well.

Later at around 3pm I took some tea for Kate and she asked me to sit down for our little chat.

First she asked if the car would be ready tonight and that she’d pick me up from home tomorrow at 7-30am. I asked if we were going to a meeting and how I should dress.

She said ‘Yes we have a meeting at 10 am so you should be smart but after that we are having lunch with someone that I want you to meet.’

To be continued……………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 42 Explanations

I was pleased to get the chance to go with Kate and wondered who we were going to meet for lunch but she just said it was someone who I hadn’t met before but who knew me.

Then we discussed about some of the work I’d been doing for her and my opinions on what I’d read. After that it was my chance to ask Kate anything that I wanted.

I asked how long had I got and she smiled and said ‘You are the PA how long have I got?’

I smiled and said she had 15 more minutes before her next meeting. ‘I’m all yours then.’

I asked what had happened with her previous two PA’s because they’d both left and it concerned me that I make the same mistakes. She said neither were qualified enough to enjoy the job and the opportunity and acted more like secretaries or personal assistants so they soon got bored.

‘But did you fire them?’

‘No we more or less reached a stage where they realized they didn’t like working for me so they looked for other opportunities.’

‘Does that mean you are hard to work for.’ ‘What do you think, am I?

‘Well not really but your reputation is a bit scary that made me wonder if I was doing the right thing or not.’

‘Am I difficult to work for?’

‘No, not at all. Well not so far but it’s early days.’

‘So I haven’t been approved yet then?’

I smiled and said ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that I just meant that my personal circumstances were unusual and that she hardly knew me and that the job was new to me.’

‘Chrissy, it is nice that this opportunity came and it wasn’t exactly an accident.’

‘What do you mean since I just bumped into you one day in the lift?’

‘Yes that was a co-incidence and not an accident.’

‘But you called Jessica after I met you and she said that you’d asked about me.’

‘That’s true because I thought that I knew all my girls but I didn’t recognize you.’

‘Oh.’

‘Chrissy do you like the change in circumstances that have occurred? Are you thinking that you’d like this to be a permanent change?’

‘Well so far each day I wake up and think that it was a dream and that the situation will revert back and then I rub my eyes and I’m happy to see it’s not a dream.’

‘Good so whose idea was this in the first place?’

‘I can’t remember. Sometimes I felt that I wanted to be a girl but I tried to be as masculine as possible and I guess I preferred to keep my feelings to myself. Then in the lift you called me Christine and I didn’t dare say anything to correct you. After that they joked with me in the office and then encouraged me to go with them on a hen night as one of the girls.’

‘Who asked you to do that?’

‘I can’t remember exactly. Oh it was Jessica.’

‘What do you think of Jessica? Were you angry that she was put in charge?’

‘Not angry just a bit annoyed because I felt that I was better qualified but I was too frightened to take on responsibility.’

‘But you don’t seem frightened to me, you seem like a confident young lady.’

‘Mmm, I do feel more confident, but then maybe it’s because you give me confidence.’

‘No I gave you opportunity just like I’ve given Jessica opportunity. You are going from strength to strength but she is struggling a bit.

Will you help me to help her improve?’

‘I don’t know because sometimes she acts strangely towards me and she can be nice one minute and then quite bad the next minute and do hurtful things.’

‘Yes that’s because she is unsure of herself and lacks certain skills.’

‘But she seems to get very jealous and aggressive and she’s upset my friend Sally.’

I told her about the problem with the apartment and that Sally had moved to my house rather than risk a confrontation. Then I told her that she seemed to try to stop Sally and I becoming friends and that she’d wanted me to stay there.’

‘That was her mistake and she didn’t manage the situation very well. I’d asked her to watch out for you. Now I’m asking you to help me to help her’

‘But I’m not sure since I think she went too far.’

‘Chrissy just be patient with her and let her come to terms with your friendship with Sally and I’ll help too.’

‘Why? She was nasty to me last week and said that I deserved everything that was coming to me. Then some awful things happened and I told you about Gran.’

‘But she wouldn’t wish that on you, that was sad but nothing to do with her.’

‘I know but also I’d had another problem with my bank and my credit card.

‘Are you saying that she wished this bad luck on you? What problems did you have?’

I told her but I didn’t say that it might have been anything to do with Jessica. Kate asked me if the bank were dealing with it and did I need her help. I just said thanks I’d reported it and the bank were investigating.

‘Look Chrissy let me explain a little bit about Jessica. Her mother asked me to try to help her because she’d had a hard time and she couldn’t help her and had let her down.’

‘But Jessica was adopted do you mean her mother or her step mother?’

‘Her mother.’‘Do you know her mother?’

‘Yes of course. So will you help me?’

‘Yes of course.’

To be continued…………………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 43 Meeting with Kate

I’d no idea what Kate meant when she asked me to help her and I thought that I would just have to trust her to explain later.But she told me more or less straight away.

‘Jessica is my niece.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes she is my elder sisters daughter who was born when she was only sixteen years of age, whilst she was at school.

She had met an older boy at school who wasn’t really her boyfriend and after she was pregnant he didn’t want anything to do with her. It caused some embarrassment in our family and at that time such things were hushed up more than they are now.

My sister was given leave from school and had her lessons at home. Since the father wanted nothing to do with it and mum wouldn’t let Helen have an abortion it was agreed that the baby was immediately given up for adoption.’

‘And who was the awful father?’

‘He was a very arrogant sixth former who came from a very rich family who fancied himself and at that time he had several girlfriends.’ ‘He denied it was his baby and was very rude to Helen saying she slept around. She was very upset and when mum called his mother it was quite clear that his family wanted nothing to do with my sister or the baby.

They supported him and he refused to marry Helen, thank goodness and then his father used his influence to set up the adoption.’

‘Really it’s a long story but Helen felt very guilty and mum and dad regretted not being more supportive. Helen never really got over it and I think this is the reason why she’s struggled to keep relationships and has been married 3 times.

Then one day Jessica contacted her. I won’t go into any more details but gradually they had more contact.

‘ I never forgave her boyfriend after that and it put me off men forever. He was so selfish and rude and I know him and hope to give him his cumupence one day on behalf of our family.’

‘Why didn’t your mum and dad help more?’

‘They were quite upset but they had their own marital problems at that time to deal with since dad had been unfaithful. But eventually they got over the problem but it was too late.’.

‘So what happened with Jessica?’

‘Well I haven’t much time to explain now but the family who adopted her had two other children afterwards and so eventually they decided to be honest with her when she was about 7 years old. It really upset her. She became aggressive and troublesome.’

‘Did they reject her?’

‘No but as she became more aggressive they couldn’t handle her. That was until she was older and they had helped her to trace Helen and she agreed to meet Jessica.'

‘Helen had her own family and hadn’t told her husband about Jessica so it caused a new set of difficulties.’ ‘But she handled the situation very well and eventually Jessica accepted that she couldn’t be a part of the family. But really she was badly hurt.’

By the time she was 16 years of age Jessica calmed down a bit but she had not done well at school. She left school without any real qualifications I was asked to help which I did. Jessica did quite well despite her lack of qualifications and did some extra training at evening classes that I arranged.’

‘So you said that I might help. What do you want me to do ?’

‘I’d like you to support her and accept her personality weaknesses until she gains in confidence. I want her to do some more management training so I’d like to think that you can help cover for her supporting Anne Mortimer and supporting them both with their business reports.

I can’t expect that you can do anymore than that but I do want her to be accepted by her staff and her peers and I can’t be seen to show favor. Nobody knows the family connection.’

‘Does she know that you are her aunt?’

‘Yes of course but we try to keep a distance’. ‘However she told me that she wanted you to share the apartment with her and Mary Jo and that she liked you. She has had problems forming relationships except with her flatmate from school and it might have help a lot but it’s none of my business.’

I said ‘Why is life so complicated? She’s all but kicked out Sally onto the street because of me. She has been awful to her. I thought she was jealous of me and she switches between treating me nice and treating me badly. I didn’t need the hassle and I was glad to come to work for you.’

‘Well Chrissy if you can help and accept her deficiencies then I want you to know that I will be in your debt. So will Helen..’

‘OK.’

That was my 15 minutes time slot gone so I had to leave Kate since someone was outside the door waiting for her next meeting. Kate smiled and as we stood up she bent forward and kissed me. ‘Thanks Chrissy, you have made a very sweet girl and I hope you can come to terms with it. I will help you if you more if you will let me.’

Mmmm what to do now?

I went back to my desk and after I gathered my thoughts I called Sally to tell her ‘in strictesss confidence’ what Kate had told me. She was silent for a few moments. Then she just said. ‘OK I’ll pack the rest of my things if I had to move into the apartment .
She said she understood my problem and that she would find somewhere to stay.

I said ‘OK then so you are giving up on me and you think that the world is against you.’

‘No but I think it’s better since Kate asked you to help’

‘Oh so is help that I have to I have to give up on my new best friend as well as my nice comfy bed?

‘But you will be helping Kate as she asked and she will not forget it.

‘ I know but whilst I do respect Kate and I like her very much what sort of life is that for me?’ ‘What about my relationship with the one girl who loves me even though I’m different and I’m confused about my gender?’ ‘Does that mean you have given up on me?

‘No.’

‘Good so then how about you meet me after work and take me to the apartment and I’ll help you to pack the rest of your things so you can leave that place for good.’

Sally went quiet and then said ‘OK if that’s what you want.’ I’ll meet you outside the bus station at 6pm but I don’t have any bags with me or anywhere to store things.’

‘Don’t worry I’ll take care of that and I will talk to Jessica so that she settles up with you properly and doesn’t give you any grief.’

But what about the rest of my things at your mums house? I’ve nowhere to go and nowhere to store them?’

‘Look Sally I know a place where you can store your bags and where you can you’re your clothes warm and dry.’

‘Where?’

‘Well how about if we take all my boy things out of my drawers and wardrobes and pack them up nicely that will create some space for your things. Then if you unpack we can put your cases and boxes in our garage alongside all my boy things.’

‘Will this be OK for you.?’

‘OK very much, OK very much indeed.’

Well if that’s OK then I will call Julie and try to get her to meet us with her car at Jessicas apartment.’

‘Thanks Chrissy you don’t know how happy you’ve made me feel.’

‘I hope so and I’m sure that Julie will be very happy too.’

‘Why’

‘Because she will get her chance to punch Jessica on the nose when I’m not looking. I will have to explain some things to her.’

She was giggling by now ‘Thanks Chrissy Taylor, I do love you and you are so nice to me.’

‘Well I am but I still don’t think that you should fall in love with me since I’m not sure about myself. What if I reverted to Chris one day? Would you love me then? What happens if I don’t have the courage to move to the next stage. I might not be able to carry this through and it might all be just a novelty at the moment.’

‘ Anyway why would you want to be in love with a boy in a dress. Don’t you prefer a boy as a boy?’

‘Mmmm maybe you are right but I’ think that I fell in love with a girl in a dress.’

A shiver went down my spine and I just whispered ‘Thanks you give me confidence and I like these improvements in my life even though such a lot has happened in such a short time.’

‘So what will Kate think?’

‘ I don’t know but I’ll tell her tomorrow since we are going to Manchester together.’ ‘She’s going to introduce me to somebody for lunch after our meetings.’

‘Who is it?’

‘I don’t know she didn’t say’

‘Who do you think it is?’

‘I don’t know since tomorrow is another day and another chapter in my life. I’m just trying to bring it all together in my mind. It must be very confusing to you and to other people'

'Not really, but the more I know about you the more that I want to know.'

' Really?'

'I must admit that I want to go see Gran again since I’ve a lot of confusion in my mind about Aunt Judith.

I need her to recover and don’t want to risk causing a relapse with my questions and by stirring up the past.’

To be continued………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 44 A door closes at last

I rang Jessica and told her we’d be going to the apartment to gather the rest of Sallys’ belongings and that after that she’d said to say the flat was available for rent. She didn’t say anything except ‘Yes it’s OK.’ I’d expected some remark.

After I left work I met Sally on schedule and we arrived at Jessicas apartment at the same time as Julie who had 2 big suitcases and some cardboard boxes. Jessica hadn’t arrived home as we started to pack Sallys belongings and carrying them down to the car. Jessica turned up as we were loading the last cardboard box.

Sally just glared at her. If looks could kill she would have been dead. Jessica just said ‘ Please check to ensure you’ve got everything because I’ll be changing the lock on your door. I’ll deduct the cost and then send you a cheque for the rest of the deposit you paid’

I cut in quickly to calm the situation and said I’d let her know if Sally had forgotten anything and she could give me the cheque at work’

Then Sally spoke and said sharply ‘Or pay it into Chrissys account since you know the details.’

Jessica reacted instantly ‘What do you mean?’ and in a flash Sally said ‘ You know very well and you deserve everything that’s coming to you.’

I had to step across them and coax Sally into the car. Julie also stepped in front of Jessica to ensure there was no trouble. I think she might have liked the chance to jump in.

When we got in the car Julie started laughing and turned to Sally and said she was great and very quick with her comments. She said ‘I still think I should have punched her nose as well’

As we pulled away Sally looked up at me and said ‘Thanks for coming with me you two. You don’t know how relieved I am to leave at last.’

We arrived home and mum was just preparing some Bolognese sauce for dinner having been at the hospital all afternoon. She welcomed us with the news that Gran would be out by the weekend and that she’d probably stay with her for a few days. She said Gran had asked us to visit her so I said I’d go if I was back from Manchester in time and then told her about the trip with Kate that was planned.

We all sat in the kitchen chatting whilst mum stirred the sauce and Julie cleared up around her. She is always insisting to wash things as soon as we put them down and is very house proud. Maybe I’m not like her in this respect and I decided to try harder.

Mum was happy that we’d brought the rest of Sallys belongings home and said she was welcome to stay for a while until we sorted ourselves out. I wasn’t sure if she meant that we were crowding her or not.

She said that Gran had been chatting a lot about when Judith and mum were young schoolgirls and how they used to fight sometimes. Mum always won. Then she said that dad had called her that morning and had heard about Gran and was concerned. It was Julie that had contacted him and she confirmed this with a little smile towards me. Mum seemed pleased he’d shown concern.

I asked where he was living and she said he was in London when he called and had said he was going to York the following week and would like to call in to see us if she didn’t mind.

I wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or not. Should I let him see me or not? Should I change to meet him if he did come? It was a few years since I’d seen him and I didn’t know whether I should see him or not. Mum said ‘It’s time to talk with him I think. After Grans stroke a lot of memories came back and I think it wouldn’t harm to mend some fences.’

I joined in the preparations for dinner by making a tossed salad and Sally laid the dining room table. Julie de-frosted some Italian bread from the freezer that smelled delicious and we were soon settled around the dining room table with a bottle of sparkling wine.

It was nice to relax and we all seemed ready to wind down. But Sally seemed on a high and was really chatty since a great weight seemed to have been lifted. She’d not had chance to take her belongings upstairs but she was already settling in as one of the family and I liked being one of the girls. ‘What would I tell dad?’

None of us were late to bed and before I knew it Kate was pulling up at the bottom of the drive. What would the neighbours think with such a big car arriving.

She got out of the car to say hello to mum who couldn’t resist coming to meet her. She said that she had heard so many nice things about Kate and I was bright read by this time with embarrassment. Sally poked her head ou of the front door to take a look at Kate I suppose and Kate just smiled and waved.

It was early and the sky was bright with nice tree blossoms around the gardens that smelled so nice.

Kate turned on some music and sped off towards the motorway to try to beat the early morning rush.

‘You look nice today Chrissy. I think you’ll make a good impression.’

‘Thanks Kate I don’t like to let you down and Julie has been really helpful to be my stylist even though she didn’t need to get up early.’

I said I hoped that I would not let her down in the meetings.

She said ‘I meant you’d make a good impression at lunchtime and not in the meeting.’ That’s not so important today but it’s a good excuse for you to meet some management staff and gain confidence.’

We arrived in Manchester about 30 minutes ahead of our planned time and Kate parked in front of the main entrance and someone came out to park the car for her. She was obviously well known and treated with respect. Everybody referred to her as Ms Harper.

She introduced me to the event organizer who said she’d look after me and show me around. It was an Area Management meeting and review meeting for 2010 results.

Jackie worked for the Group CEO looking after corporate affairs and shareholder relationships. Two girls were helping her and were responsible for welcomes and the morning arrangements. We went to the meeting room that had places set for about 30 people.

As Managers arrived I was introduced and helped look after them showing them where the refreshments were and identifying their seating positions. Everybody seemed to be kind to me and I was enjoying the experience.

Kate came in to the room flanked by two guys who were obviously not so important as Kate. Then Kate told me that she’d been officially confirmed as the new Group Managing Director and had just met the CEO who was going to make the announcement. I just said ‘Congratulations Kate, I’m so proud of you.’

She said ‘Don’t worry we are not moving I’ve insisted to work from my present office.’ I guess I’d looked concerned.

Then Jackie took charge and the meeting started. I felt nervous sitting at the back of the room with the other two girls. ‘Other two girls?’ My head seems to have turned completely these last few days. Already I have trouble recalling what life was like as Chris. It didn’t seem to have any high points or excitement like this.

At the coffee break Kate came over and asked if I was OK. I said that I was very pleased to be spoiled to see her speech and that she was a great motivator. I thought she’d been very clear about her targets and ideas for the Company and the CEO seemed to have a good relationship with her.

Then she said the meeting would finish at 11-30 because the CEO was flying back to London and that she’d meet me at 12 noon to go for lunch.

‘Do you mind telling me who are we meeting?’

‘Wait and see, it's a surprise so don't spoil it. I've actually arranged us to have lunch with someone who you probably don't know. Trust me and let's take it from there. He assures me that he has met you before.’

To be continued………

I At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 45 United in Manchester

In the question and answers session after the break I was deeply embarrassed because Kate asked me to stand up so that she could introduce me to everybody.

She was asked if she would be taking on the extra responsibilities herself or if there was an opportunity for promotion for any of the other Managers at the meeting.

She then introduced me as her new PA and said that she was confident that she didn’t need to offload any duties to another manager and that she was already confident that I would free more time for her by handling some of her general administration duties.

Two of the female managers sitting not far away from where I was now standing were obviously not very happy about this announcement. It came as a complete shock to me.
I felt like I was standing naked in the wrong changing room and must have been redder than a Manchester United team shirt.

There were a few whispers and mumblings as I sat down and Kate just smiled and said ‘Well done Chris you deserve this chance.’ There was a small ripple of applause.

After that the CEO wrapped up proceedings since he had to go to the airport and Kate asked a few managers to meet with her in a small annex room.

Jackie was the first to congratulate me but to be honest I’d no idea what promotion I’d had until I could get to talk to Kate. One of the female managers then came over to me and said that her name was Nicola and that she was a great admirer of Kate so I must be a good choice.

I wasn’t sure if she was sincere or not but then two or three others came to introduce themselves so I’d not much chance to say or do anything except feel like a new girl in the class hardly remembering names and faces.

Then Kate came out of her meeting and said a few hellos before saying we had to go. I placed a few name cards that I’d been handed in my handbag and freshened up and then Kate steered me towards the exit where Jackie was waiting to say goodbye to us. She took my hand and kissed my cheeks and whispered ‘Well done, call me anytime for a chat.’

As we went into the lift Kate turned and said ‘I’m sorry was that a nice surprise?’ ‘That was why I brought you to the meeting with me and I told you I’d be grateful if you help me.’

‘I said that I was delighted and very pleased if she had such confidence in me after such a short time.’

She just said ‘ Family takes care of family.’ What did she mean?

When we reached the front door Kate said ‘We’ll take a taxi since it’s a little bit too far to walk and I’ll leave the car here for now.’ I was happy for that news rather than walk through the busy city centre. We went to a nice big old hotel to a restaurant called Browns that was very old fashioned style with high ceilings. It was popular so Kate had reserved a table.

She knew the head waiter who greeted us and took us to our table. There was a distinguished looking man sitting there with grey hair and moustache. He had a smart dark pin striped suit and as he stood up I could see that he took care of himself. He was around six feet tall. He looked over his spectacles as we approached and the were on a string around his neck so he didn’t lose them I suppose.

He hugged Kate and kissed her. ‘Hi honey, I’m pleased to see you, glad you made it.’ Then he looked at me, ‘My God who might this be?’

‘Dad this is Chrissy and Chrissy this is my dad.’

‘Well hello young lady it’s so nice to see you, Kate has told me so much about you. I’m Darren Harper, but call me Darren.’

‘Urr Darren Harper, Professor Darren Harper?’

‘Yes but that makes me sound old so call me Darren.’

‘But I know who you are.’

‘Yes my dear I know who you are and I could recognize you as soon as I looked up., I thought I must have stepped back in time in this old restaurant.’ ‘I thought it must be something to do with the old clock over there. Please sit here next to me.’

‘So do you know who I am then Chris, I know your mum and dad, but I haven’t seen your mum for ages.’

‘But Mr Harper are you Kates dad?’

‘Yes of course, well at least her mum says so.’ He said with a smile.

‘And are you the man who was friends with my Aunt Judith?’

‘Yes, she was my dear friend and much more.’

A tear came to his eye and my stomach was churning by now. I was starting to feel a little faint. Kate held my hand and suggested that I sipped some water.

The waiter came over and Professor Harper ordered some hot tea and a glass of wine for himself. Maybe some tea to start with is best.

‘So you know who I am?’

‘Yes I talked to mum and Gran. She’s been ill in hospital.’

‘I know Kate told me so I sent some flowers yesterday. I would like to meet her again but it’s difficult since she never got over the accident.’

Kate intervened and said the waiter was bringing the tea and another was trying to give us the menu.

Professor Harper poured some tea for Kate and I and as I sipped it I started to come back to my full senses. He smiled and said ‘Ha I should have been a doctor, now the colour is back in your cheeks.’

‘Chris I’m very happy to see you and even though I was surprised to hear the change in your lifestyle I can see that this might have been necessary. Do you know who you look like?’

‘Yes mum has told me and so has Gran, I look like my Aunt Judith.’

‘You certainly do, My Goodness, you certainly do’.

Kate took over the menu and ordered something just to keep the waiter from listening in as he hovered around trying to catch our attention.

‘Chris has your mum ever talked about me?’

‘Yes she told me all about you and Aunt Judith and that you had a very close relationship before she died.’

‘Yes she changed my life, in fact she changed all our lives she was a very special person.’ I’ve wanted to meet you for such a long time and I wanted to introduce you to Kate and her sister if I could get the chance. Especially after Kates mum died when I was grieving. I needed to clear so many things and put some things straight.’

‘I knew Judith and your mum and dad and almost my relationship with Judith broke my marriage.’ He held Kates hand and then said but I was lucky because a had a loving wife and two wonderful daughters. Poor Judith and so so sad for your Gran and your mum and dad.’

‘Tell me Chris do you mind meeting me today? I hope that you are not uncomfortable about this since I had to find a way to meet you.’

‘Thanks to Kate here who has been very supportive to me I’ve found you at last.’

‘I’m very happy to meet you too since I have some questions to ask you, mum and Gran and I couldn’t find time with so much happening around me.’

‘Well Chris you can ask me whatever you like.’

‘Is it true that you and Aunt Judith were lovers and that you were close friends with mum and dad.’

‘Yes’

‘And in those days were you prepared to leave your wife and family for Judith.’

‘Well that’s not quite true since we argued about it and I couldn’t leave. But I also loved her so much. It was like I had 2 parallel lives’

‘ So what about aunt Judith she seemed to be in love with you.’

‘Yes she was and when I told her that I couldn’t leave she just walked away and she wouldn’t talk to me for a while.

Then she tried to make me jealous by saying she was having an affair and if she couldn’t beat me she would join me.’

‘Was she?’

‘No she wasn’t like that at all she was just trying to get me to go back to her.’

‘That’s not to say that she didn’t have friendships or relationships but she couldn’t forget me and I couldn’t forget her.’

‘Then one night she called me at home that was not like her. She was very upset and she told me she was pregnant. My wife knew something was wrong so I had to tell her everything.’

Kate was quiet and yet she didn’t seem hurt by her father telling me these things.
‘The next day I went to see Judith and then she said that she didn’t know what to do and she admitted that she’d seen somebody else. ‘

‘I couldn’t stay with her that is my greatest regret.because I should have talked to her more and listened to what she wanted to say. Instead I was selfish and went back home, fearful that I’d lose my wife and daughters.’

‘Chris how much do you know?’

‘Well Professor Harper I know now from mum and Gran that Judith was my real mum and that mum and dad took care of me’.

‘I know that she was killed and my life was saved.’

‘I don’t know why she was taken instead of me, or why my life was spared.’

‘Chris all I can say is that as I look at you now Judith is still alive in you.’

‘I want to help you as much as I can.’

‘Professer Harper, one more question before I answer.’

‘Yes anything you like.’

‘Are you my father?’

To be continued………..
,

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 46 Lunch at Browns.

‘Chris in truth I don’t know.’

But you and Aunt Judith, err mum, were lovers and you must have known.’

Chrissy it’s true that it was six months before she died that Judith and I last made love and she reacted badly to my reluctance to leave my wife and family. For a while she tried to make me jealous and she was having an affair as I said.’

‘Are you saying that somebody else might be my father and not you?’

‘I’m saying I don’t know because I never had the courage to discuss it with your Gran or your mum nor to arrange blood tests to find out. In any case they wouldn’t hear of that and they were both devastated. Particularly your Gran who was rejecting you, blaming Judith pregnancy and me on the accident.’

‘I was not welcome at all and on top of that I had problems at home to sort with an unhappy wife and two daughters to look after.’

‘You ran away from the situation then?’

‘Not really. I met your mum to try to sort things out, that’s Jennifer who is really your Aunt Jennifer, and after a lot of discussion with her fiancé, she had decided to delay her wedding and they both took you into their care.

Your dad was at the hospital with Jennifer and your Gran when Judith died and he named himself as your father when the hospital administration staff talked to them. Then you were officially registered.’ ‘Chris was the name that Judith chose. Christopher for a boy and Christine if you were a girl.

‘Yes I know Dad’s name is on my birth certificate along with Miss Jennifer Shute, my mum, registered as living at home address. But when mum told me I took a closer look and it does say Judith. The writing is in black ink and is smudged. Dad’s is very clear.

So I never looked closely because I’d no reason to think it was Aunt Judith that was my mum. Mum always clung onto my birth certificate anyway and I hardly ever used it.
I understand and I’m sorry it’s confusing and really you should be talking to Jennifer and your dad about this.’

‘But now I don’t really know who is my dad. My dad put his name on the certificate but was it you or even somebody else that she’d met?’

‘Well your real dad might be me but not according to Jennifer since she knew who it was.’ ‘When I visited her she let me hold you and then gradually she opened up and we talked for almost 2 hours.’

She convinced me to go and leave them and make peace with my wife and she’d take care of you. She said she didn’t think I was your father because on the night she was killed she’d argued with Judith because she was drinking too much.’ ‘She knows who your real father is but she wouldn’t tell me.’

‘But if she knew then why did she let dad register as my father?’
‘ Chris it was a family decision and I was outside the family.’

‘But surely it was illegal.’

‘I don’t think so and of course in any case there was a lot of grief about so there was likely to be confusion. It was convenient and if it was wrong then your mum and dad had to live with their decision.’

‘I was tearful by now and I excused myself. l had to go to the bathroom. Kate had not said a word and I looked at her as I excused myself.’

‘Did you know this when you gave me the job as your PA?’

‘Yes, I’m sorry but until now I didn’t know all the details that dad has just explained.’

I burst into tears and hurried away from the table. I needed to get home.
Kate followed me and put her arms around me.

‘Chrissy, would it really be so bad if I was your sister,?’

I think my father was very nice to explain this and he never meant to hurt you. He hasn’t questioned why you became Chrissy though I’m sure he will be supportive. He just wants to make up for past mistakes and to let you know how much he cared for Judith and your family. He asked me to help him find you and it was a big surprise that we worked in the same Company.’

‘Do you want to know a co-incidence?’

‘What?’

‘The day I first saw you in the lift was the day after dad had been showing me some old photographs since he was feeling sad. It was the third anniversary of mum dying. And we went out for dinner in York and he stayed over with me. He had brought some photos with him for me to scan and save.

As we were going through his shoebox of photos there was a photo of Judith and another of your mum and dad with you at your christening. It had a message on the back from your mum so I asked him who it was. Then he showed me the photo of Judith, your real mum, and he said she was his star student and that he’d been very fond of her.’

‘But why did that have a link to me?’

‘Because you silly sausage, when I saw you in the lift it reminded me of the photo I’d been looking at. I knew that dad wanted to tell me more so I called him and said that I’d seen someone who looked like Judith in our office building.’

‘But I didn’t look like a woman at that time I was working as Chris and had been their ages.’

‘I was ‘Billy no mates’ with not much happening in my life so I guess I was just like Mr Cellophane Man in the song. You know, everybody would look right through me.’

‘Well there you are then, you were wrong. I didn’t walk by you I saw you. Come on be positive because I don’t want you to withdraw after you’ve done so well. You’ve become very popular and you’re certainly not Ms Cellophane, far from it.’

I smiled a little bit, certainly when I recalled a song in ‘Chicago’ where the man who played Amos, the cellophane man sang it so well. I suppose we can’t all be the stars like Richard Gere or Catherine Zeta Jones.’

‘ What was his name?

‘ That just proves my point I don’t know his name. It was Thingy Majig the Cellophane actor.’ Kate was laughing at that and I did feel a bit better.

She said we should go back to her dad but I was still wanting to talk. She told me that he didn’t believe it when I told him that I’d seen you and you looked just like Judith.

‘He says I’m always enthusiastic and optimistic and that he didn’t believe it.’ He said it would be like finding a needle in a haystack or the same chance as a winning lottery ticket being blown through the office window onto my desk.’

‘So how did you find out if I was related to Aunt Judith?’

I didn’t I got Jessica to help. She didn’t believe it either but she did agree that you looked like a girl and she came up with the idea to treat you as a girl and to invite you to go away with the girls for the weekend.
‘Hmm, well at the same time she couldn’t wait to step on me in my opinion.’

‘She was protective and she got very jealous when I met James and then she defended me when his girlfriend turned up.’

‘After that I said you should come and work for me and then I might find more information.’

‘So it wasn’t a fluke that I got the job?’

‘No I decided to cancel the hire of the girl from the employment agency and decided I would give you a chance since you knew the business and were very qualified.’

‘So as you see it seems my intuition has been working overtime and I was right.’

‘How about we go back to lunch and don’t get too deep into discussion with dad.?.Are you ready?’
‘I guess I felt a lot better. ‘I don’t feel any further forward but at least I understand now about some of the things that happened.’

‘Thanks for helping me. I know you might think that I was weak but I think we should give people chance and no need to bully them. I thought the girls in the office would work hard when deadlines needed to be met.

I just don’t see them working so hard for Jessica.’. ‘They would have done anything for me.’

‘Trust me Chrissy I know what I am doing and look at you now as an example.’ ‘Which job do you prefer?’

We arrived back at the lunch table. The head waiter was impatient but at least Professor Harper was content with a glass of red wine and ‘The Times’ newspaper.
‘Now then girls ‘What are you going to have?’ I liked that it made me feel that I was accepted.

It was as if nothing had happened and I just turned to Kate and said ‘Men.’
Then we both cracked out laughing. ‘Yes Men, they are only good for one thing Chrissy so take care’

‘Really?’

‘Yes paying the bill.’

Professor Harper looked over his glasses ‘Now now Katie dear that’s enough of that. I’ll never get rid of the Dowry that I’ve set up if that’s how you speak about us men. Who will marry you?.’

I smiled at them both. What a wonderful relationship and what a nice sense of humour. No wonder Judith had liked him.’

‘I’ve ordered you girls some soup, I hope that’s alright.’ ‘Thought you might need a bit of colour in your cheeks and so I chose Spicy Carrot and Corriander but I couldn’t get two for the price of one. No point coming here again if they won’t haggle. Money doesn’t grow on trees you know.’

He was so nice that I wished in my heart that he might be my dad too.

Over the main course of salmon and fresh vegetables he told me how close he was to my mum and dad. He said that they’d accepted him even though he was married and they’d all had some fun weekends together.

I liked your dad young Chrissy but he did have an eye on Judith that concerned me at the time don’t you know. He was a bit of a rascal your dad. Your mum could control him though. But whatever anybody might think I can assure you he was a perfect gentleman after Judith was killed. He took the responsibility and I like that in a man.Well done to him.

‘Kate said ‘Don’t be so sexist dad, what about me then don’t I take responsibility?
‘OK, OK you do so I lose again.’

‘Professor Harper I do wish my dad hadn’t left us. I missed him a lot. I don’t know where he is but my sister Julie kept a contact with him and now I feel so bad.’

‘Well Chrissy, I’m not sure what he’d make of you just now in your new role but just like me he’d accept you as you are. I think he’d also probably see Judith when he looked at you and that would be enough. No questions asked..’

We all missed her after her death yet he was the man who took responsibility and he did it for the family.’‘Would you like to meet him.’

‘If you asked me last week I’d have said no but right now I feel like I’d just hug him and never let him go again.’

‘Do you really mean that?’

‘Yes I mean it from the bottom of my heart.’

‘You know everybody deserves a second chance in this world and David was caught in the middle. He would love to see you and your mum and your sister again and try to mend a few bridges.’ ‘But he says your mum is a pretty strong woman and so it is not easy for him.’ ‘He needs somebody to help.’

‘Have you spoken to him? How do you know?’

‘Yes I have spoken to him recently. I’m getting on a bit now you know and I’d like to put my affairs in order. Can’t have Katie here distracted when I’m gone, I need everything to be neat and tidy.’

‘Dad don’t be silly. You’ve got years ahead of you yet.’

‘God willing m’dear but can’t be too complacent, things need sorting you know.’

‘I was beginning to like him more every minute. He was as old fashioned as the Browns clock above us.

‘So then young Chrissy I’m due to call your dad back today to let him know how we’ve got on.’ ‘What time is it now? I can’t trust that old clock up there.’

It’s quarter to two.’

OK girls let’s finish up here and you can drop me at the railway station if you will.’ ‘I left the car at home since I expected Kate would be on Blueberry phone all through lunch and I’d be drinking a nice Bordeaux. I was wrong is it switched off?’

‘Dad it’s a blackberry’

’Well I don’t know I’ve only just gone cordless at home and now the world is full of new fangled gadgets. We won’t need to get up in a morning soon! They’ve even got Eye Pads that can see everything we do.’

‘Dad!!’’

‘OK girls here’s what we’ll do. ‘Chrissy you sit there for a minute whilst I go outside to call your dad since I don’t want these nosey parkers at the side of us listening any more. I’m sure they’ve heard everything. I think they even moved their table over.,

‘Katie do you mind coming with me to settle the bill. Chrissy will be alright on her own a bit won’t you love?’

‘Yes I’m OK, I haven’t finished my wine yet and it looks expensive.’

‘That’s what I like to hear lass, waste not.’

Off they went.

A few minutes late my mobile rang and I reached in my bag to answer it. It said ‘private number’.

‘Chrissy m’love it’s Darren, Got to dash or I’ll miss my train. Kate is just running me to the station and she’ll come back to collect you in about an hour.’

‘Oh OK that’s fine I can look in the shops if necessary. But Professor Harper I never said thanks, and I hope that I will I see you again?’

‘Course you will lass be sure of that.’

Anyway young Chrissy just to say that if you look across towards the exit where that young lass who makes the reservations is sitting you’ll find somebody waiting to see you.’ Tall chap in a blue suit. ‘Doesn’t like to wear a tie.

Anyway I’ll see you soon my love, You deserve everything that’s coming to you!’

To be continued………………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 47 Finding Dad .

As I looked across the restaurant towards the entrance I could see 3 people waiting to be seated and as the waiter escorted them to their table a man was standing at the desk and as he turned I immediately recognized him. It was dad.

I hadn’t seen him for more than 6 years on my twenty first birthday but he had hardly changed. Unlike me I suppose so I was unsure what to do. What a place to meet and how much did he know about my life or my circumstances.

I felt like my legs were lead as I stood up and tried to move.

By now he was looking directly at me and it was obvious he knew as he smiled. I walked towards him and he looked me up and down and shook his head slightly.

As I walked towards him it felt like the whole restaurant was watching us and it was like slow motion. He put his arms around me and I wanted to hug him tightly but I didn’t know how to react. This was dad and surely of all the people in my life he’d me the one to be ashamed of me. I couldn’t speak. I felt tears in my eyes and then I managed to utter ‘Hi dad.’

He just said ‘Hi Chris it’s so good to see you at last.I didn’t know what to expect. You look good. What a change.’

We hugged for ages before he let me go and he looked me in the eyes and said ‘ I can see we have a lot of catching up to do. Are you OK?’

I said ‘Yes dad I’m fine but I feel a bit ashamed of myself to meet you like this and not to have spoken to you for so long.’

‘Yes it’s been a long time and I’ve missed you and your mum. Let’s find a quiet corner away from the reception that is a bit less public.’

We sat in the small bar/coffee area so Kate would find us on her return. I didn’t know if I could have met dad and talked to him as Chris, or if my change to Chrissy had made me more mellow and more understanding of his situation.

I did feel much different and a lot more confident in myself but at the same time I had self doubts and felt guilty sometimes because of prejudices against people who are different. I hate misleading kind people who have accepted me as Chrissy and didn’t know my past.

I guess Dad sensed my nervousness as he ordered a large Americano coffee forhimself and a cappuccino for me. “I rember you like this.’

He looked at me and sat forward in his chair. ‘Chris, or is it Christine you prefer, I’m very pleased to meet you and I’m relieved that you didn’t run away or ignore me.’

‘Dad it’s Chrissy if you like but you can still call me Chris, whatever you like.I’m still me’

‘Chris, I will still call you Chris because I see in your eyes you are just the same, I didn’t come here for any other reason except to talk to you because you hated me for leaving mum and wouldn’t answer any of my calls or my letters.’

‘I know I felt that you hurt mum and she was so sad so I had to support her. You seemed to have found someone else and chose a new life away from us. Surely you know it turned our lives upside down and it took mum ages to face her friends because of the gossip.’

‘Look Chris mum and I knew that there was no easy solution and I didn’t leave because of Heather, our relationship only developed afterwards.’

‘Then why did you leave?’

‘It is a long story that concerns something that happened many years ago that should have been forgotten but it couldn’t be.’

‘But why should that cause you to leave, Julie and I know that you had arguments sometimes but everybody has arguments, it’s life?

‘Chris, we had differences of opinion and small arguments like any other married couple but there was still bitterness surrounding us that caused me finally to up and leave because I’d had enough.’ I had wanted your mum to emigrate to Australia with me many years ago when you and Julie were still young but she wouldn’t.’ ‘She always said she needed to stay close to her mum to look after her.’

‘Dad, was your argument related to family business or another woman in your life?’

‘I never had affairs and only loved one other woman in my life that was before I was married. It was something that happened that wouldn’t go away despite all my efforts to bury it.’ “I think your mum would have buried it with me if she’d not been influenced by others.’

‘Dad was it anything to do with me or that I was Aunt Judiths child and was saved and she died?’

‘Who has told you this? Your mum or your grandmother?’

‘It’s a little bit of both. It happened when both of them saw me dressed like this. It just seemed to come out like water gushing out of a tank when a valve was opened.’

He squeezed my hand and I looked deep into his eyes. He wanted to tell me something but then he looked downwards towards his feet.’

‘Dad please tell me whatever you want, I know something but not from your point of view, only what came out of the tap and now look what happened because of the frustration and tension, Gran had a stroke.’

‘Chris I don’t have time to tell you everything in this meeting but I do want to come and see your mum and to talk to her so that we can talk together. We need to sit and talk and be open with each other. Life is too short and I want to see you and Julie as often as I can and all this stupidity has gone on far too long.’

“Dad, that’s not fair since you’ve come this far and here I am, here we are, don’t you want to tell me why you left home and why your life was turned upside down. I’ve hated you, well I’ve tried for mums sake and now I don’t know what to think and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’ve felt like I had no life for years after you left. I loved you and you left me.’

‘Don’t cry Chris please.’

‘Look when you were born I looked at you and I looked at you in a special care incubator knowing that you’d been saved. We’d lost your real mum and it wasn’t a choice by anybody. You were the living breathing part of her and not the cause of her death. She died of her chest injuries and somehow you survived. As I looked at you I promised her that I would love you forever and never forget her..’ Your mum and I then sat and talked even though she was heart broken. We agreed to raise you as our child and we adopted you.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’

‘Many times we were going to sit and talk with you but each time your mum couldn’t face it. She said it was the upset of recalling Aunt Judiths accident and the effect it might have on her mum who couldn’t forgive me.’

Why dad?’

‘Because before the accident I’d had a short affair with Judith after she argued with Darren Harper and I was engaged to your mum at the time. Judith was going to be the bridesmaid and as she was being fitted for her dress it came out that she was pregnant.’ Her mum realized first before Jen found out.’

“Chris I would rather leave this conversation for now and meet your mum and then talk more. Please help me to persuade her to meet.’

‘Dad I’m hurting now and I want to know. Please why did you register yourself as my father and adopt me?’

‘Chris because you looked so fragile. I loved Judith just like I loved your mum. Judith was a most beautiful and soft person, so full of fun. She’d been mixed up in an affair with Darren and then the situation became more complex because of me.’ ‘ I just took the responsibility there and then as we lost her and you needed care and love that she deserved.’

‘But dad these aren’t enough reasons to me, there must be more.’

‘Hi Chrissy I wondered where you were, Am I interrupting?’ ‘Sorry’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 48 Time to take action.

It was Kate returning as promised and as she approached dad turned around to see who it was and then stood up to introduce himself.
‘
I sat still and as I looked at Kate she smiled at me. She was such a confident woman and she was as tall as dad in her heels. She shook his hand firmly that obviously surprised dad a bit. He told her that she looked like her father and that he was pleased to hear that Kate and I were both working together since he’d known her father when they were much younger and they’d spent a lot of time together.

It seemed strange to me since they had different backgrounds. I supposed the link was through Aunt Judith.

Dad complemented Kate on her success and said he knew that her father was really proud of her and that he was too.

Then he turned to me and said, ‘Chris I’m also very proud of you especially since you graduated from university and this was the first such achievement in the family.’ He said he’d obtained some photographs from the graduation that Julie gave him and he kept them on display in his office.

I wondered what his colleagues might think if ever I turned up to see him now as Chrissy. How would he be able to explain the change?

After some small talk together dad excused himself and said that he was happy that Darren had been able to set up the meeting and that he was sorry for surprising me.

I smiled and said that it was a relief and that I wouldn’t have accepted a dire
ct invitation but now I’d realized it was a stupid mistake to cut off communications. I also felt that there was no way I could have met him dressed as Chrissy so it was a double bonus.

As dad left he said he was surprised how nice I looked and whilst he didn’t know if he could ever come to terms with the change he felt he had to give me his full support since he’d missed so much of my life. As he left he just said that he’d gained a daughter today and realized how much he’d loved us all and how he wished he could turn back the clock..

Then he said that I was still Chris to him and that he was not going to overstay his welcome and hoped I could forgive him. I just said that without his love and kindness I don’t know what would have happened.

He gave me his address and his mobile number and asked if I would call him and try to set up a meeting with mum where we could have a day together. He said that he hoped we would involve Julie as well and that maybe we could even make it a regular event if things worked out..

I just said I’d do my very best to coax mum to meet him and I’d call him as soon as I could.

I looked at him as he walked away and I waited until he’s completely disappeared before I turned around to Kate. She just put her arm around me and said ‘Well done.’

I suppose I didn’t say much all the way back to the office and I must have been staring into space a lot. I was trying to work out the relationship between Darren and Aunt Judith and also where dad had fitted into all of this. Then I wondered who my real father was and why dad had adopted me.

I felt that I had to talk to mum when I got home and I knew I’d get chance since we were seeing Gran. I needed to talk to Julie and also to Sally. My head was spinning.

Kate was driving quite fast and weaving in and out of the traffic. She was clearly used to driving at high speed. I really did admire her and it felt nice to be in her care.
She turned to me and said ’ How do you feel?’

‘I can’t explain it Kate. I am so grateful to you. I just feel like I’m living a dream.’
‘Thanks Kate, I really don’t know what more to say.’

‘I don’t need any thanks I was just as pleased as you today. It gave me chance to see my dad too and he had some things to say to me.’

I guess that we both needed to understand more about a few things that happened early in our lives and our fathers did seem to have been friends and had retained the friendship. I felt sad for Kate since her father was clearly having an affair with Aunt Judith and had almost left her mum until something happened and then she became pregnant with me.

As I was gazing out of the window at the barren Pennine Hills Kate said ‘ Did you see the way my dad looked at you today?’’

‘No not really, what do you mean?’

‘Well he was obviously quite taken with you and I suppose it brought back a lot of memories and some guilty feelings. He was looking at you with some sadness in his eyes and at one stage I saw a tear that he quickly wiped away.’

‘I did think that he was a little choked and I felt that he examined me closely and I was hoping that I didn’t look too strange.’

‘No I think he was thinking of you as Judiths daughter more than her son because when I drove him to the railway station he said that it was just as if Judith had come back and that you looked just like her. He said he almost called you Judith and that you had very feminine features and the same smile.’

‘I never had any idea of what Aunt Judith looked like and it’s all been strange to me. I don’t even have any photos to copy her appearance. I don’t know why all this has happened. It all started out as an innocent weekend and I’d dressed like this to be part of the office group that was more of a joke on me by the girls rather than me intending to cross dress.’

‘Well Chrissy it’s obvious that there is a likeness and it’s clear now that Judith was your mum and that my dad may have been your real father but he told me today that he definitely wasn’t. So I guess we are not related and neither are you related to Jessica.’
I said that I didn’t feel that Darren was my father but I had no evidence of my real father so I was keen to talk to mum and Gran.

‘Chrissy I think that you have been very lucky to have been adopted by your mum and dad and I hope that they’ll be friends again. Your dad is nice.’

‘Yes but I need to know who is my birth father and why dad signed himself as my father on my birth certificate. Aunt Judith must have been having an affair.’

Kate accelerated her car past two slow cars hogging the middle lane and said it always gave her pleasure to leave male drivers eating her dust. I smiled because it seemed I was a girl in her eyes even though she knew my real situation.

Just then her car phone rang and Jessica came on the line. The call was open so that I could hear Jessica and Kate took the precaution of telling her I was in the car and could hear. She seemed to go quiet and her tone became a little more terse.

‘Kate I was wondering if we could talk later since I have a few issues in the office and I’m not getting full support.’

Jessica seemed ready to continue but Kate cut her short and said she’d meet her when she arrived back at the office. Jessica never acknowledged that I was in the car and just said bye and that she’d wait for a call.

We soon arrived back at the office and I was glad because I wanted to call Sally and Julie to let them know about meeting Darren Harper and dad. I hoped that Kate would get distracted so I had time to chat to them both and I got my wish since Kate disappeared to a meeting before she had chance to sit down.

I had to ring Julie first and she was just so pleased that I’d finally met dad. She said that he had begged her to persuade me to meet with him but she’d felt that I wouldn’t change my mind and was too obstinate.

But she had realized that my attitude had changed a lot since I’d calmed down and switched my lifestyle. I had to admit that I was taking a different view about many things and that I felt much more mature as Chrissy. It was like I’d never grown up properly as Chris and I couldn’t ever talk easily to people.

I said that I was going to talk to mum and Gran later since I needed to understand about my parentage and I wanted to persuade mum to meet dad with me as he’d requested. I’m not sure if Julie was happy or not since I’m sure she felt excluded. But she said she’d come and pick us up anyway so that she could find out what happened.

When I called Sally to update her she said that she was so happy for me. She was a bit concerned that I might find some bad news and believed that it was best not to dig too deep but I just said ‘say it easy’ but I need to know. Still she did then say she’d be there for me whatever happened and only had to call her whenever I needed someone to talk to.

I told her I’d be with mum and Gran and hoped she’d be home when I arrived so we could have a longer chat and she said she’d look in her diary and cancel all her evening engagements to wait for me.

I said thanks ‘so you mean you are watching Eastenders on TV. She said ‘Oh what a good idea I might just do that.’

Kate had a meeting with Jessica and when she came back she told me that Jessica wasn’t happy with Ann and two of the other girls who were not respecting her enough and supporting her. She’d then told Kate that she wanted to demote Anne and asked if Kate had found a new PA and when I was available to go back to work for her since she felt she needed more staff to support her until she found a better deputy.

Kate asked my opinion if I’d talked to Anne at all about her relationship with Jessica..
It was my chance but I hesitated since I wasn’t sure if she was testing me or not so I took my time in answering. Then I decided it was time to say what I felt even if Kate didn’t like to hear the truth.

‘Kate to be honest I’ve got annoyed with Jessica recently. Trouble seems to follow her and she is not capable of managing good people with experience. I know I agreed to help you because she is related to you but she is very immature and lacks fundamental management skills.’

Then I said that I wouldn’t go back since I enjoyed the job I was doing and the added responsibility and I respected Kate and felt that I was already proving myself and was benefiting from the challenges. I said that Jessica needed some personal skills training and had a bad attitude at work and socially outside work.

Then I said that she needed mentoring and that if Anne was demoted the departments performance would suffer. Then I said she should give Anne more responsibility and let her report to one of the other Managers.

‘But what about Jessica?’

‘To be honest she should go back to one of the stores where her skills are better utilized and maybe she could be given some special assignments by head office so that she didn’t lose face.’

Then I said that whilst I’d had problems with Jessica I could see that she had ambition and was just a fish out of water.

Then I said that if Kate didn’t want me to continue as her PA I would leave and try something completely different. I told her that I needed some Chrissy time anyway so I could leave whenever she found a replacement.

‘Chris you know the situation with Jessica and yet you’ve still given your opinions. I think you should come into my office. You’d better call HR department and get Dave Roberts up here as soon as possible with your file..

To be continued …….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 49 Appraisal time

I felt nervous. Had I gone too far? Why my file since it was Jessica who we were discussing. Then I thought to heck with it I’d just leave as I’d threatened. Then I thought about it and I realized I couldn’t work anywhere else except as Chris unless I took a job in a bar or a Gay club. I thought so what. I’d made some friends so maybe I would take some Chrissy time.

I rang Dave Roberts and set a meeting time 15 minutes later to get it all over. He asked what had happened and why the urgency? I just said that I had spoken out in defence of Anne and criticized Jessica.

When he arrived we went into Kates office and Dave closed the door. Kate looked at me and asked me to sit down at the meeting table so I was facing both of them.

‘Dave, Chris and I have been to Manchester today and on the way back I had a call from Jessica Walker. She had a few complaints about her department and I asked if she had discussed them with you. She hadn’t so I talked to Chris and he/she gave me some forthright opinions. To be honest I didn’t feel comfortable but what she said was true. Chrissy I do mean what she said was true because I do believe that you are more woman than man.’

‘Dave, I want you to treat this meeting as a formal appraisal meeting and then to take some legal advice. I also want you to record that Chrissy was very well received at todays meeting and that she made a strong impression. I was very proud of her and I think that she has a lot to offer.’

I interjected ‘What do you mean? I thought this was a disciplinary meeting or to sack me.’
‘Why would I want to do that? Don’t you realize that I am a good judge of a person and that I like people who speak out.’

‘But you didn’t like what I said about Jessica.’

‘Who says? I never said anything if you recall, it was only you speaking.’ We are here to talk about you first Ms Taylor. I think it’s time we confirmed this appointment because I’ve been promoted and I need someone reliable to work alongside me. I need a PA that I can trust. I like you and I like it that you have good knowledge and a good manner.’

Dave spoke next ‘Right Kate I can sort this out quickly if you tell me what you want.’

‘Well lets confirm the appointment, subject to a medical examination and some interviews with a psychiatrist. That’s up to George Ramsden the Company Doctor to sort out. Ask him to come and see me when he can please.’

‘Two I want to review Chrissys terma and conditions and put her on senior staff status. She needs additional benefits and we’ll raise her salary 50% and nominate her for the bonus scheme. That’s for me to approve isn’t it?’

‘Yes of course it is Kate but we’ll need to sort things with Dr Ramsden since this involves insurance and pensions.’

‘OK Dave just do your best to get it sorted.’

‘Anything else?’

‘Just prepare the paperwork and fill in the forms and I’ll sign them. Is this OK with you Chrissy?’

‘Well no not really.’

‘Why?’

‘Well I appreciate this Kate but I’ve not made my final decisions yet about my life. I need to talk to mum and dad and to be honest I’d like to talk with Julie and Sally as well. I am still unsure about my past and it may affect my decision.’

‘Chrissy you have a golden opportunity here so what is the problem?

‘If I was working as Chris would you offer this job to me or is it that I’ve effectively changed sex? You seem to be pushing me to make it serious.’

‘I am because I have seen that this is you and that you are becoming more and more female and there is hardly a trace of masculinity.’

‘Kate, I really appreciate your opinion and advice but I’ve lived like this for less than 2 weeks and I’ve no idea what prejudice will surface if you promote me like this. In some respects I’d prefer to keep a low profile.’

‘What and sit in a window seat in Jessicas office bored stiff?’

‘No I’d leave.’

‘Chrissy you aren’t leaving. You aren’t going anywhere I have taken you into my personal care. I am responsible for you and I have to look after you and see you through the next stages of your life. I have been very impressed with you and you’ve been very supportive to me.’

‘Can I sleep on it and let you know tomorrow?’

Kate sighed ‘Well I usually get my own way but I suppose I can wait a few hours to get my way again. I do hope you’ll accept.’

‘Thanks for understanding.’

‘OK so Dave please set up a meeting with Chrissy tomorrow and also an appointment with Dr Ramsden just in case.’ Then lets have interviews with Jessica Walker and Anne Hunter. Say 10am start with 30 minutes between each appointment and Chrissy can sort my diary.’

‘OK I’ll call you later to update you. By the way congratulations on your promotion.’

‘Oh yes that little matter. Let’s sort Chrissy first and then consider our re-structuring plans after that.’

After Dave left Kate came over to me and put her arm around my shoulder. ‘Chrissy you’ve become a lovely woman who is getting more confident every day. I think we’ve found a little diamond.’

‘Thanks for the complement. I like to be little.’ She just smiled and kissed my cheek.
‘OK Ms Taylor get your skates on and get off to see your mum. You have more work to do yet. Remember your dad is relying on you.’

‘Yes I hope that I can help him.’

I called mum and arranged to meet her outside Marks & Spencer so we could catch a bus together. I freshened up and called Julie to confirm later arrangements and then made some fresh coffee for Kate and a cup of tea for myself. I sipped it during a call to Sally and my cup was empty as I finished the call.

As soon as I met mum I told her about my visit to Manchester and she was so proud and exited.

‘Chrissy I’m pleased for Kate but what’s going to happen to you?’ ‘Are you going back to your old job?’

‘No way. Kate asked me to stay and she has offered me a bigger salary and to confirm my appointment.’

‘Chris that’s fantastic news what a wonderful day you’ve had.’

‘Well it has been a wonderful day mum but I haven’t told you everything. I am confused and I would rather not accept the position until a few things are sorted out.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well mum I met two other people in Manchester and Kate arranged it. I was surprised or should I say I was a little bit shocked.’

‘Who did you meet?’

‘I am sure that today I met my real father.’

What do you mean?’

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 50 Heart to Heart

‘What do you mean that you met your real father?’

‘I met Kate’s dad, Darren Harper and then I met dad.’

‘Dad, what do you mean you met dad? You went to Manchester didn’t you and he lives in London.’

‘Mum Kate arranged lunch with her dad and he has met with dad and together they made a plan for dad to meet me. He wanted to talk to me and you know that I’ve stayed loyal to you and haven’t met him or answered his calls or letters since he left home.’

‘Yes I know dear and I’m sorry that your father and I have parted and caused this difficulty for you but really whilst I am grateful for your support and loyalty I never influenced you.’

‘Yes I know mum it has been my decision. I couldn’t forgive dad for leaving you and hurting you but now I”ve talked with him and understand a lot more about the family history I think that I was a bit too impulsive.’

‘Mum I realized how much dad loved us all and how sad he was to lose contact. He was very nice and he never once questioned me about why I started living as a girl or why I was dressed like this.’

‘Chris your dad loved you very much and he didn’t leave because of you. Or Julie’

‘I know mum. Well now I know I think but I’m still not sure. Now I know more about Aunt Judith and the fact that she was my birth mother and the complications surrounding her when she was killed.’

‘Chris, it was a very tragic accident and your life was spared. The surgeon had a choice to make whether to try to save your life or Judiths and since she was badly injured both of you could have been lost. He made the right choice.’

‘But mum nobody ever told me. Why?’

‘Chris there were reasons and these were kept inside the family. It badly affected Gran and she has never really come to terms with the accident or the hurt that Judith had prior to it and she has lived with a lot of personal guilt ever since.’

‘Why mum is it because Darren Harper and Judith were having an affair?’

‘That’s part of it Chris but not all of it’

‘Mum what happened? Is Darren Harper my dad?’

‘Chris your Gran and Judith had a big argument about Darren and in fact they had a lot of arguments about him because he was married.’

‘Mum I have now met him and it seems like he was going to leave his wife and children to live with Judith and then he changed his mind. Did he change his mind? Am I right or wrong?’

‘Yes you are right he did change his mind when he found out Judith was pregnant and then he told his wife and he was going to leave but she begged him to stay for the sake of his children.’

‘That’s Kate and her sister and now I’ve found that Kate knows about his affair with Judith and how he was going to leave. She suspected that I was her half brother or half sister I suppose.’

‘But why didn’t he help Aunt Judith if she was pregnant. What happened mum and Is Darren Harper my dad or not? You haven’t answered me’

‘Chris, I think that Judith made a mistake when she asked Darren to leave his family and she had let the relationship go too far. She was infatuated with him.’

‘Mum it seems like he loved her.’

‘He did love her and she loved him but Gran interfered and told Judith she was throwing her life away and whilst she like Darren she knew it was wrong and that he had responsibilities.’

‘Mum I don’t think that Darren Harper is my real dad now I’ve met him. He doesn’t act like he is my dad either even though he wanted to meet me. Mum there is no family resemblance.’

‘Chris I never said he was your father and nobody has really mentioned him.’
‘But mum why was I adopted by you and dad?’

‘Chris we were your family and Judith was my sister. We couldn’t expect Gran to look after you and she was badly affected and in no fit state to look after herself let alone you.’

‘But mum what happened to cause Darren to go back to his family?’

‘He had been arguing with Judith and she tried to make him jealous. She decided not to see him. Then she found out she was pregnant and he found out and came to see Gran. He thought he was the father’

‘Mum was Judith pregnant by Darren or the other man?’

‘Well that became clear when Darren met Gran and it caused a big argument between Judith and Gran on the night she was killed.’ Gran told Judith that she had been irresponsible and she had brought shame on the family.’

‘Mum I’m so sorry and I realize now that you were caught in the middle of all this. I’m so sorry and I love you so much.’

Mum hugged me and I hugged her. ‘Mum I know how brave you were and how much you loved me and how much you loved Judith.’

‘Chris it was my responsibility. We are all family and I lost my best friend in my sister but now she has come back to me.’

‘Mum who was the man that had the relationship with Judith?’

‘Is it who I think it is?’

‘Yes dear it is.’

To be continued………………..’

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 51 A family chat

I didn’t say anything else for a while and soon as I stared out of the bus window I saw that we were approaching our destination.

Neither of us seemed to want to ask the next question but eventually as we reached Grans’ front door I turned to mum.

‘Mum my dad is my real dad isn’t he?’ She paused to search for the door key and passed it to me to unlock the door.

‘Yes dear he is. I realized today that you knew. Did he tell you when you met him’
‘No mum he didn’t. It’s just my conclusion based upon what I’ve found out this last week It seemed strange to me that he registered me as the father because I could never imagine that dad would do anything that wasn’t legal. When I met Darren Harper I couldn’t see any resemblance to me and yet I have some of dads features. Everybody says I look like Aunt Judith, including you and particularly Gran. It seems as if dad and your sister had an affair. Is that true? Mum I’m sorry if that is the case since it must have hurt you so much.’

‘Let’s go inside the doorstep is no place to talk.’

Mum shouted to let Gran know we weren’t intruders although her neighbor also had a key and often popped around. She was sitting in her chair watching an antiques programme and she turned the volume down and greeted us. I couldn’t believe the improvement in her appearance. It seemed like she was 10 years younger and she was smiling.

She said to me ‘Oh Chris you look very nice today and so very smart. I can’t believe it’s you. How nice of you to come with your mum.’

She took hold of my hand and pulled a stool to the side of her chair asking me to sit with her. Mum was fussing after gran trying to make her sit down and tidying her cushions. She cleared away her tray and said she’d make us all a drink. Gran wouldn’t let go of my hand.

‘Oh Chris you do so look like Judith. Would you like to see for yourself? Pass me the mirror and open the sideboard drawer. There is a photo of Judith with your mum and another when she received her university degree.’

I found the photos and could see that whilst mum had long hair to her shoulders in those days aunt Judith had fairly short almost black hair. She had boyish features but her make up was immaculate. Mum on the other hand had no make up with long auburn hair to her shoulders. Judith was a little bit taller yet very slim. I felt quite proud to be likened to her.’

‘See Chris, take the mirror and just look. It’s just like Judith has come back to life. Oh Chris you are the image of her.’

Mum came in with some tea and smiled at us sitting together. I suppose it had taken all these years for Gran to finally accept me and now I had an idea of the reasons why it might have been difficult.’

Gran beckoned mum to her side and held hands with us both. ‘Family re-united at last.’ Oh Jennifer it’s made me so happy. I feel like I’ve woken from a long nightmare.’
Mum gave Gran a hug and a kiss and I let them have time together and made an excuse to use the bathroom.

I freshened my make up and looked at myself in the mirror. I could see the resemblance to Judith and it was understandable now. I put my hair back behind my ears and then brushed it and lifted it a little since it had flattened during the day. I too still had a boyish look but yet most people took me for a girl. I was older than Judith had been in the photos and yet I still had a very young face and rarely had to shave.

It seemed like I shaved much less now than a few weeks ago and I wondered if that had just been male ego rather than necessity. I much preferred to use soft creams than pre and post shave lotions. I tried to re-create the look of Aunt Judith and used more eye shadow and a slightly deeper lipstick shade. I liked it that I should be thought to look like a person who was so attractive even though I had felt a geek all my life.

Mum poured tea and we sat down. I sat on the stool again and Gran was still holding the photos.

Then mum said that she’d just told Gran we’d been talking about Judith and dad and that I knew Judith was my birth mum and that I’d met up with Darren Harper and dad in Manchester. She said that we should carry on the conversation later since it was a lot for Gran to take in and that it was bringing back memories. I said that I hoped we could talk more about Judith so that I could find out more about her. Mum acknowledged and whispered to be a little patient and let Gran come to terms with the information..

Gran didn’t raise the subject she just looked at me and said. ‘I was lucky to have two very beautiful and loving daughters. I was very happy watching them grow up together.I have been so proud of them and it was devastating news when the police came to tell her that Judith had been involved in an accident.’

All she’d said was what about Jennifer, where is she. Mum of course was at the crash scene and was deeply shocked but recovered enough to go in the ambulance to the hospital. Her friends had rung dad.and he had picked up Gran and taken her to the hospital.’

Gran sighed a little and squeezed my hand again. ‘ I feel so sad that we lost Judith and I never knew what was going on that night at the hospital. It was all a blurr.’ ‘She was in her prime but she became infatuated by her tutor at university that caused us to argue. Whilst he was a wonderful man he was married and yet when I saw them together I could understand why they loved each other. Then she told me that they’d fallen out and that she’d met someone else and finally she told me that she was pregnant.’

I couldn’t say anything so I waited whilst Gran spoke again.

‘I was really angry and asked if she’d been careless or had she done it on purpose. She would only tell me that it was not Darrens baby so I’d said Thank God for That so you don’t have to ruin his marriage.’

‘Then she said that she still loved Darren but he wouldn’t break his marriage and leave but he kept calling her. I pushed and pushed to find out about this other man that she’d met but she kept saying she wouldn’t tell me. I got so angry with her because she was stubborn like her father and I called her some names that I never meant.’

Mum tried to calm the situation a little and said that she’d also tried to find out when Judith told her that same night but wouldn’t tell her either. ’

I said ‘But mum you said you knew.’

‘Yes I found out later.’

Gran started talking again ‘Jennifer you have been so wonderful and you’ve made me especially proud. You always took care of Judith and she adored you. She did well at school and through University because of your support and encouragement. She never had to find spare time jobs like you did and you had set your heart on marriage and a family whereas she wanted to travel. She’d wanted to work overseas and tried to persuade Darren to go with her.’

‘Mum she never would have gone permanently she just wanted to explore. Then Julie was the same and just look she satisfied her itch and has come back. Family is important and as she says she never appreciated England so much until she left and then came back.’
‘You gave up a lot Jennifer and you took care of me through my breakdown and all my guilt and after your dad died of a broken heart. We all loved you dearly.’

Gran turned to me again and said ‘Chris, oh how I wish that this tragedy never happened. You should have been born to know your real mum as well as Jennifer. I’m so sorry it had such an effect on us all. I missed a lot of time with you and Julie these last years as you grew up. I should not have failed Judith like I did and I should have been supportive to her and then to you.’

After a pause she carried on ‘ She was taken so tragically and I will never forgive myself that my argument with her could have been the reason why she was in that car that night. It meant our last words were angry words as she slammed the door. She said that she hated me.’

Mum interrupted and said ‘No mum she didn’t hate you. She was just frustrated that you couldn’t accept that she loved Darren and she couldn’t help falling in love with him.’
Grans face was sad and then it brightened again as she looked at us both. ‘But then I look at you and I give thanks to God that whilst I lost a daughter I have found a grand daughter. A very beautiful grand-daughter who reminds me so much of Judith.’

It was strange that already Gran didn’t associate me with Chris her nephew. It was like I hadn’t existed. I wondered if we could have had this conversation if I hadn’t started dressing as Chrissy.’

I just felt comfortable like this with mum and Gran and I wanted to make them happy and for the family to be together. I wanted dad and Julie to be here with us and to try to mend th broken bridges. I wanted to talk about him as well and to find out more about what happened on the night that Judith died and afterwards as mum and he were married and brought me up.

‘Chris you have a wonderful mum. You were so lucky that Jennifer came to terms with the accidents and the difficulties better than me. She just accepted the situation and carried on. She loved Jennifer and so she naturally loved you and took care of you as her own. She is true sister to Jennifer for as long as she lives and the best daughter that a mum could ever have. One day I hope you will have a daughter too to see how I feel.’

What a strange feeling it gave me. What did she mean? I was sure she was considering me her grand-daughter and she made me feel like her grand-daughter. I liked it and I wanted it to be true. I never had that thought until now. I wanted to be a girl right now and I liked these changes that were occurring. I didn’t want to go back to being plain old Chris. My life was changing and my feelings were different. My family accepted me and at work I’d been offered promotion as Chrissy and made friends. My sister was closer to me and I had a special friend in Sally. Then there was James waiting to hear from me who had treated me as Chrissy right from the moment we met and I liked it. I felt like a girl and I liked it. It felt like I had a life especially as we sat together and talked and I could reflect on nice things.’.

I smiled at Gran and looked at mum. ‘Gran it would be the sweetest thing if I was lucky enough to have a daughter and if I do she will be called Judith.’

By this time Mum had tears in her eyes and Gran gripped my hand and said ‘You sweet young thing, please do.’

Then we all jumped. My mobile phone rang and I reached for my bag. It was Sally just checking that we were OK and saying she’d see me at home and was going out for drinks. I wanted to tell her everything so I just said, ‘OK but don’t be late.’

Then she said she loved me and sent me a kiss.
.
We jumped again because the doorbell rang. I answered it knowing who it would be. It was Julie. She’d just arrived in time so that I could update her quickly so she could join the conversation and I wanted her to know everything first hand.

As I opened the door she said, ‘Hi Sis, you have the biggest smile. What’s happened. Have you won the lottery?’

‘No better than that, I’ve had a wonderful day. I’m alive and I feel wonderful. Julie I love you so much. You are the best sister in all the world.’

‘OK OK Chrissy, just because I brought you some pizza I suppose, You don’t have to get so mushy because I think of your stomach. You can pay for them if you like.’

…….…….shall I continue or is it a Life at Last?

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 52 Mums story.

Julie was her vibrant self as she waltzed into the room handing over the pizza boxes to me whilst she kissed mum and Gran and then she took off her jacket. She’d opted for a white low cut top that exposed her cleavage with a long skirt and boots. I envied her bosom and she took after mum in that department.

I’d not seen Gran acting as friendly as to either of us before and I think that it surprised Julie that Gran didn’t back away. Instead she met her with open arms. Julie would usually ignore any coldness anyway but this time she clearly noticed a change in Gran looking at the facial expression.

She mouthed a message of ‘wow’ to me as she turned away.

We went through to the kitchen to cut the pizzas properly and warm some plates and Julie asked what had happened and if she was dreaming. I told her that Gran had been in a good mood and that she was completely accepting me as Chrissy, as if I was her grand-daughter and not her grandson.

It was also my opportunity to tell Julie about my meeting with dad and how he’d accepted me and that I’d promised I’d try to persuade mum to meet up together. She shook her head and said ‘More, please go on’.

Then I told her my impression after meeting Darren Harper and how nice he was and that I’d told mum that I didn’t believe he was my father. Her head went to one side and her eyes opened more widely. She removed the chewing gum from her mouth that was her bad habit since she stopped smoking. ‘Go on so what did mum say?’

‘Julie mum didn’t say anything because I was telling her what I’d found out and how I knew that Judith had split from Darren and had a relationship with someone else who might be my real father.’

‘No surely not. How have you worked that out? Isn’t he a nice rich man who Judith loved and was in a relationship. Is this because of Kates influence do you think? Are you sure/’
‘Let me finish please. Judith had met someone else whilst in her relationship with Darren and when he didn’t have the courage to leave his wife she had some form of new relationship that ended up in her becoming pregnant. It’s a bit complicated and so I tried to ask mum and I couldn’t.’

‘Why is it complicated? Wouldn’t mum have just told you unless it was someone she didn’t like or who jilted Judith.’

‘No, it was neither of those reasons, she seems to have found out that Judith had been having an affair with dad but that’s as much as I’ve confirmed so far.’

‘What? Dad was having a relationship with mums sister?’

‘Yes, I’m sure and after I looked at dad today and reflected on everything on the way back to work I realized that there must be some close held secret that might have caused upset in the family and dad to leave us. Why were we rejected by Gran and wht was dad registered as my birth father?’

‘Chrissy what are you saying? Surely if dad had an affair with mums sister they’d have fallen out. She’d never have stayed with dad.’

‘But Julie she might not have known. That’s as much as I know and I felt I needed you to be here before we discussed it again since if dad is my dad as well we are sisters. Well I’m sorry we are brother and sister or halves at least.’

‘Chrissy are you sure about all of this because it seems awfully complicated and it’s not easy to say this to mum and Gran.’

‘Julie, I wanted to ask mum directly but she didn’t seem to want to do it in front of Gran.’

‘I’m not surprised so maybe you need to wait until we get home.’

‘I can’t wait any longer Julie, I just need to know what’s happened in the past and to confirm once and for all. I need to come to terms with my new lifestyle and face up to some decisions. I’ve had a meeting with Kate and she offered me a promotion, but as Chrissy and not as Chris. What do I do? I need to know who I am.’

Julie put her arms around me and tears welled in my eyes. My knees went like jelly and my stomach was churning.

‘Come on let’s do it. I’ll help you. I think it’s fantastic news. Goodness knows you certainly pack a lot into a day since you took on this new life. I can’t keep up with you and so far in my opinion everything is up.’ ‘Come on look on the bright side and I’ll tell you something to really cheer you up.’

‘What?’

‘If we confirm that dad is your dad then I will pay for the pizzas.’

‘Oh my God the Pizzas. I love you sis, I could never have done any of this without you.’
‘No, maybe now I understand what was calling me home. And there was I thinking it was to settle down and marry Gary.’

‘What, you are going to marry Gary?’

‘No but a girl can dream can’t she. Are we eating or not?’

We took the plates and the pizzas through to the lounge where mum greeted us with a smile.
‘Are you too OK or did you have to go back to the pizza shop? We thought we’d lost you.’
‘Chrissy couldn’t switch on the microwave, you know how useless she is with technical things. In the end I took over’

‘HaHa, very funny. Who can’t operate the TV remote control.’

‘Girls come on let’s have supper or we’ll be taking the pizzas home for breakfast.’
Gran declined to eat since she’d had her tea and she decided she’d make a fresh pot of ‘Yorkshire tea’ not weak like mum makes it.

It was nice to sit together eating pizzas that was always one of my favorite snacks as I grew up and one of mums special treats if there was a good weepy film scheduled on TV.

As I picked up my second slice mum looked at me and said I should be more ladylike.
I said ‘OK but I want to let you know that I’ve been telling Julie about our discussions earlier and about dad.’

‘Yes, I expected that was the delay and not the microwave problem.’

‘Mum it’s true that dad is my real dad isn’t it?’

‘Yes Chris it is and I’m relieved that you found out since it was never intended to be withheld from you but life has been complicated and we all kept avoiding the issue.’

‘Mum when did you find out? Was it after you and dad were married. Is this why you used to argue?’

‘No in truth Chris I knew on the night that Judith died and first of all it was because she held my hand and whispered to me to forgive her as she was taken through to the operating theatre.’

‘I’d looked at your dad and said I didn’t know what she meant. He didn’t say anything but then I never expected him to answer anyway.’

‘He just said that she’d wanted to tell me something but he didn’t tell me that she’d already told him. Then about one hour later we were all given the news that they couldn’t save Judith as her injuries were complicated but they could try to save the baby. Gran was in no state to make that decision so I had to do it. I gave my permission to save you.’

After that we were all in tears, including your dad and the policemen were hanging around to take statements about the accident and dad managed to handle that. Judith died about 1am. They’d managed to save you and put you in a special care unit.

‘Dad managed to hang on to me but Gran was screaming and then Grandad arrived and took her home. Dad and I stayed all night until I’d no tears left to cry.’

‘As daylight came your dad then told me what Judith had said and that was that he was the father of her child and not Darren Harper. I was at rock bottom with no where further to fall. My sister was pregnant by my fiancé and had had an affair behind my back. I just pushed your father away and told him to leave me alone.’

‘Then the surgeon who’d tried to save Judith came to see us and took us into a room.‘ We were allowed to look at you and then they said it was hard to determine if you were a boy or a girl but they eventually confirmed you as a boy. So as it was Judiths wish you were named Chris there and then.’

‘But mum how come you and dad stayed together and what changed your mind?’

'It was something that the doctor said.'

To be continued……….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 53. Pizza chat

I wondered what the doctor had said that could have enabled her to be so forgiving of Judith and dad. Mum went quiet and it seemed an age before she continued.

‘He told us that he’d fought hard to save both of you and both of you were slipping away. Then he thought he’d lost you so he switched his effort and then her heart failed. As he dropped his head one of the nurses said she noticed you move again so they managed to recover you. It was as if you’d come back to life.’

Julie, ever the first to speak jumped in and said ‘But mum why would that affect anything?’
‘Well dear the doctor just said some words of comfort to us ‘Sometimes death means just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and comeback as a new character’.

‘I couldn’t get it out of my mind and even though we went home to see Gran without deciding anything I couldn’t forgive Judith or dad for what they’d done.

When we arrived home Father O’Brien was with Gran and he comforted us. He took me aside and dad disappeared somewhere. I told him everything and finally what the doctor had said. He said I should forgive these sins and perhaps Judiths’ spirit would live on in you.’

Gran had clearly not heard any of this before as I looked at her reaction. She took mum to her arms like a baby and she kissed her and kissed her. ‘You did the most forgiving thing in the world and sincerely believed the doctor and the Priest. Bless you forever.’

Mum turned and sat up and recovered herself to tell us more. She’d then decided that she’d still marry dad and raise me as her own child because she realized in me she could still remember Judith every day of her life.

Dad had been relieved to be forgiven but Gran was not so forgiving of herself because she didn’t know anything about what the Priest had said to me and she was upset with herself for the awful things she’d said to Judith.

She didn’t know that dad was the father of her grandchild until mum told her a few days after their wedding when it was decided it was time to christen me.

Gran wouldn’t attend the christening and refused to have anything to do with dad and couldn’t accept what the doctor and the Priest had said because as she reminded mum many times I was born a boy.

Gran squeezed my hand and took hold of Julies hand too and said.’I’m so sorry that I was blind and filled with anger and self pity all these years. Please forgive me.’
Julie was quick again and said what I wanted to say ‘So seeing Chris as Chrissy has made you believe it might be true?’

Gran just said ‘Of course it’s true.’

What a day I’d had. What a true family we were at last despite my doubts and concerns that Darren Harper might be my father or some other boyfriend of Aunt Judiths.

As we tidied round and decided to go mum said she’d like to stay the night with Gran.
As Julie drove us home she asked how I felt to hear this news.

‘I feel relieved and I feel different. It seems to explain a lot about my unhappiness and why mum and dad were sometimes arguing and why we were uncomfortable at Grans house. Maybe this explains why I am so comfortable as a woman. I don’t seem to have had any problems with the switch over to Chrissy.’

‘There is one problem I’ve noticed sis’

‘What?’

‘You aren’t very good at getting your purse out yet because you still haven’t paid me for the pizzas.’

Julie was so funny that we laughed all the way home. I did make the excuse that I was still waiting for the bank to sort out my replacement credit card and Julie said we must still find out who was responsible because she was still wanting to punch Jessicas nose.

As we pulled up in the drive I turned and kissed Julie and said she was just as kind and understanding as mum and because of this I felt that I was coming to terms with my life as Chrissy but that I still needed to decide if I could accept the promotion that Kate had offered.

A taxi pulled up behind and Sally stepped out and waved goodnight to her friends inside.
I was pleased to see her and couldn’t wait to get inside and update her on everything.

Julie then decided to leave us alone and she’d go meet Gary and she’d be back late.
As we opened the front door and turned on the light Sally said ‘You look so relaxed and so nice tonight. What’s happened today?’

I couldn’t wait to take off my shoes. Whilst I really felt feminine in heels and as comfortable as they are the freedom afterwards is now just as pleasurable as eating a chocolate éclair. But at least the shoes don’t add to my waistline that I felt is getting slimmer each day.

My skirt almost need a belt now since my waistline had reduced more than one inch already so I thought maybe some shopping might be needed this coming weekend.

‘Oh my God Sally.’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I was just thinking we might go shopping together this weekend but I’ve still not heard anything about my credit card. Where is the post?’

While I checked my post that mum always placed in a small letter rack Sally checked the answer phone for messages.

I had two letters and glad to say one was a replacement card and a message that the lost money was being re-instated and the other was a letter from the special service section of the bank providing me with a new pin number. So I was relieved and now the only problem I had was that the card was marked Mr.Christopher Taylor.

Grrr. Well at least I could use it for drawing cash and I had to decide about changing it depending if I decided to carry on.

Sally said that the fraud section had left me a message to call them for an update and she wrote the number down whilst I signed my card in case I lost it again. As I signed I had to remember to use my original signature rather than the one I’d started to use that was smaller and more feminine. I’d practiced signing Chrissy Taylor a lot at the office so it was difficult to revert back to Chris Taylor.

Such small things were necessary to sort out and I thought one of my first steps would have to be a visit to my bank to meet them.

In the meantime I thought I might sit with Julie and write down as many things as we could that needed to be seriously considered so I could make a final decision. Sally was OK but not so organized and clear thinking as Julie.

Since there was some white wine in the refrigerator we decided we’d both have a glass and sit and chat in the lounge. I put on the soft lights and we curled up either end of the sofa.

It must have taken me almost 2 hours to talk through the days events because I looked at the clock and it was 11-30pm. Most of it was because Sally was interrupting to ask questions.

She was particularly interested in my relationship with Kate and Darren Harper and I think in her heart she was hoping that I’d be Kates half sister since she is fixated by the thoughts that she fancied me.

On the other hand she didn’t want me to have any family connection with Jessica because as she said she was top of her hate list these days. She still suspected she was involved with the card fraud even though I tried to explain that I’d discounted her and decided that it was to do with the club in Birmingham.

We must have talked about Judith and her relationship with dad for almost an hour and Sally said she thought I should get dad and mum together now that I was living as Chrissy because in her opinion this was reinforcing what the doctor and Father O’Brien had said.

It took us about thirty minutes to get ready for bed and I needed a shower even though I’d have preferred a long soak in the bath. Julie sent me a text to say she’d be back around midnight so we were just tidying up the bathroom when I heard her open the front door and then put on the deadlocks.

She came upstairs and asked if she could have a word with me because she’d been thinking a lot on the way home about what mum had told us.

As she followed me into my bedroom she said ‘Sis do you remember exactly what mum said tonight about what the doctor told her?’

‘I think so why?’

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 54 Two sisters together

‘Exactly what do you recall?’

‘Well she said that they had thought I was dead and then Aunt Judith passed away and at the same time I seemed to stir as if I’d come back to life…..do you believe that really happened.’

‘Yes it is possible . But doctors were in the middle of an emergency operation and they could have just made a mistake. But what else did she say before that?’
‘I can’t remember exactly.’

‘Come on girl think. What did she say? ’

‘Didn’t she say that they decided to call me Chris that was the name that aunt Judith selected.’

‘Yes dummy she said that but she said that it was hard to determine whether you were a boy or a girl. What do you think they meant?’

‘I don’t think anything since I was a premature baby.’

‘But couldn’t it have been that…you know…you weren’t too big or properly developed?’
‘Come on Julie it was probably nothing.’

‘That’s what I mean, it was probably nothing …if you know what I mean.’

‘Julie come on, you’ve seen me naked. I’m no Errol Flynn but I wasn’t last in the queue.’
‘Who the heck is Errol Flynn?’

‘Ask mum. Every womans dream man.’

‘ But maybe you were born intersex that explains how well you’d adapted to life as Chrissy.’

‘Come on Jules, I can assure you that everything has been fine down there and in fact it has embarrassed me sometimes.’

‘Well I’m only asking since it was a strange comment to make.’

Luckily Sally came into the bedroom to see where we were and Julie went quiet and giggled as she went to the bathroom.

As we snuggled under the duvee I waited for the landing light to go out and as it Julie couldn’t resist one last quip.

‘Good night big boy. Don’t be too embarrassed.’

Sally put her cold toes on me and snuggled up closely. ‘What does she mean?’

‘Nothing she was just teasing me.’

Sally was soon fast asleep but it took me an age as I reflected on the day. One thing above everything else had pleased me and that was to establish that dad was my real father as difficult as that must have been for the family.

I wondered if I should have this confirmed. I didn’t really fancy the idea of being the son/daughter of Darren Harper as much as I liked Kate. At least mum was Aunt Judiths sister so that made me closer to Julie and I couldn’t have wished for a better sister.

Then I tossed and turned for ages wondering if I could carry on living as Chrissy and if I was just born in the wrong body.

I liked Sally yet I liked James too. I liked Kate a lot and yet I was a lot more comfortable in the company of the girls at work than with men. I didn’t really have any male friends as Chris. I’d always been treated as a bit of a geek.

I didn’t seem to sleep at all and I was waiting for the alarm when it went off. Sally tried to drag me back into bed as I looked for my slippers. I was bursting and there ‘he’ was embarrassing me again.Mmm I remember thinking that I should do something about it and make an appointment with my GP to discuss what to do about my current situation.

I looked back at Sally and she looked so sweet. I really did like her a lot and I felt that I should be fair to her and James as well. I’d not heard from him for a while and it seemed strange. I decided that I should text or call him later and when I got out of the shower I scrolled down my messages to see the last entry. Mmmm maybe he wasn’t interested any more.

There was no sound from Julie or Sally and mum wasn’t around to wake them so I decided to make them each a cup of tea and took great pleasure in drawing the curtains to stir them both but just got a few grunts in return.

So nobody to help me choose something nice for work today. I wondered should it be bright to accept the promotion or dark to say sorry to Kate. I put on the news on TV and made some toast that was a sure way to entice Sally downstairs.

The local weather forecast was bright with sunshine later so I thought that was a good sign. I should ask Julies advice on what to wear to suit the weather and maybe her opinion on the job. But really I needed to talk to Sally as well since she was already becoming attached to me.

Mmm I couldn’t make a rash decision without some professional help so I thought the best thing I could do was to be open and honest with Kate and not hurry into a decision.
I made a few notes on the jotter pad to remind me of the things I needed to do starting with the calls to the bank. Maybe I should even go to see them later and explain my current situation. It was a hard call.

To my surprise Julie came in first and Sally followed soon after. It was nice to sit around the breakfast bar and Julie couldn’t resist to carry on the joke from the night before asking if I was feeling more perky today.

I ended up throwing my serviette at her to stop her giggles.

It was nice to be together and Sally smiled at us. Julie and I never sat together at breakfast unless it had been for a Sunday brunch so it was fun to joke together and I liked it.

It was nice for Sally to be included and she was much less serious now than when she first arrived and seemed to get on well with Julie. I wished it was Saturday so we could carry on without the need to rush for work. Maybe we could have scrambled eggs and bacon then since I was feeling famished. But I needed to watch my waistline and I settled for a yoghurt and an apple. I did feel I needed to lose a few more pounds yet.

Julie then agreed that I could wear a dress she’d bought in York that was a lightweight jersey dress in a striking shade of blue. It had long sleeves that she felt looked better on me and I admitted that I liked it. It was probably a safer bet than a short sleeved summer dress at this stage even though it showed too much of my chest for my liking.

When sally saw me she said it was perfect and that she’d like to go to York shopping over the weekend and maybe visit the Designer Outlet. Julie chipped in and said we could go Sunday and she’d drive or she’d get Gary to drop us for the day.

There was a nice warm breeze as I left the house with Julie and I had to take care as the wind lifted the hem of my skirt. I liked the sensation and we stopped as the postman arrived and said good morning. Julie teased me saying that he’d ogled me and I should take care to avoid showing my washing. I smiled at her and said ‘Nothing for you only me and mum.’

‘Good no bills then.’

I put the two letters I’d received in my bag to read at the office and put mums mail through the letterbox. It looked like usual sales rubbish.

Julie said she had decided to meet a friend who wanted her to work with her and that she might accept. They were meeting for lunch so she’d let me know what happened. I was glad that she’d considered to settle back down at home for a while since I doubted I’d have so much courage without her support.

I felt that we were really getting to know each other and that was certainly one of the positives in favor of living full time as Chrissy.

She dropped me outside our office building and as I walked towards the door a security man held it open for me and said ‘Morning Miss.’

I didn’t recall seeing him before so maybe he didn’t know that I was Chris who had been the butt of a few jokes around the building a week or so before. Mmm another positive perhaps.

I was feeling good today and had selected a slightly higher heel out of Julies cupboard full of boxes of shoes. I was beginning to feel very comfortable in heels and had mastered the art of walking with small steps to avoid turning my ankle.

There were already some visitors signing in so no chance for a morning chat with Shirley today as I passed through reception though I got a wave and a smile as usual. One of the men turned around and seemed to leer at me.

I thought this was one of the downsides. What would happen if I ever was confronted. How to react and why must we take care not to put ourselves into one to one situations in quiet places. I never felt in danger as Chris even though I was a bit of a whimp.

I put on Kates coffee as my first job and checked her office had been cleaned and was tidy. Everything was in place and the post arrived as I poured a cup of water from the water fountain.

I sorted it into urgent and non urgent and moved most of the rubbish to the bin ready for shredding. What a waste of money sending such rubbish to people. I supposed it kept the post offices open and postmen in jobs.

Kate arrived and I took her briefcase from her and hung her raincoat in the wardrobe. She looked really smart in a tight fitting Armani suit and the jacket was expertly cut. She had a nice white shirt hanging open at the front to show just enough cleavage without it attracting too much attention and I admired the necklace that she’d selected that was a small black stone on a slender silver chain.

‘Morning Chrissy. You do look really nice today and very smart too. I’m impressed and a bit envious too. I should consider to be a little more feminine myself.’

‘how did you go on with your mum? Was everything OK.’

‘It was fine. I had a really good chat with her and Gran and also with Julie. I feel like I am starting to understand things much more. Thanks so much for yesterday since without the meeting with your dad and the chance to meet my dad too none of this would be possible.’

‘It’s my pleasure dear so if you want a chat later just let me know. I might even be free for a snack at lunch. Shall we arrange something to be brought in and then it can be just the two of us?’

‘That would be really nice thanks.’

‘OK girl then I’ll leave it to you. Where’s my coffe I’m parched. No chance this morning since I must have had six calls at least to deal with before I left home. I just gave up in the end.’

‘Would you like anything now? I can get you a croissant or some fruit.’

‘Thanks you are so sweet, the fruit would be nice.’

I called down to the coffee shop who delivered immediately.
Then it was my chance to open my post but first I called my bank.

After I worked my through all the options and the standard messages I finally got through to a person and answered the usual security question. ‘What is your mothers maiden name?’
‘Mmm which mother I thought as I answered the question.’

‘OK are you Chris Taylor? Mr Chris Taylor.’

I coughed to try to deepen my voice and looked around in embarrassment. Huh nobody to see so just act normally.’

‘Err yes it’s me Chris Taylor.’

‘Oh sorry sir I was mistaken for a moment. I have some news for you about your credit card and the transaction problems.’

To be continued………

. At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 55 Decisions, Decisions what to do?

‘Oh, I hope it’s good news.’

‘Well sir it does seem like we’ve traced the culprits and the police are now involved. The good news is that your account has been credited by the full amount but in future there will be a tighter control in place so the downside is this may cause some inconvenience for a while.’

But what happens if it is someone that I may know who had a motive? How can I be sure that they won’t try again? Are you sure that you found the people who did it?

‘Well sir that really is a matter for the police to deal with and we have issued you with a new card and new PIN code. There is no reason to be too concerned.’

‘Will you tell me who it is please?’

‘No sir we can’t. All I can tell you is that this is related to your visit to Birmingham when it you reported that you last used the card.’

‘So it’s nothing to do with a security lapse at my workplace?’

‘I can’t say but from my personal experience with these matters it’s more likely to have been a stranger waiting for a chance. Bars and shops are often where you should take most care.’

‘So what do I need to do now?’

‘Nothing but the police may contact you.’

You should have received a new card and a separate letter notifying you of your PIN number.

Yes I got the letters yesterday. But you put Mr Christopher Taylor on my card.’
‘Yes sir that is to increase the security and it is our new policy to put the forename and the family name that has helped to cut down the number of incidents.

Can I suggest that you change the PIN number to one that is easy to remember and to avoid writing it down and don’t use the same PIN number for several cards.’

‘How did this occur since I don’t want it to happen again?’

‘Well we your details have been skimmed and probably someone copied your security numbers so it looks like it is someone took the card away out of your sight.

It’s very likely they could even have found your PIN code because some cash was withdrawn from an ATM machine. Once in Birmingham and the second time in Leeds. Maybe you have confided in someone or let someone use the card. Can you recall if you did?’

‘No definitely not.’

I hadn’t told anybody and had tried to be discreet whenever I used my card. But maybe in the club and in the hotel in Birmingham a few people had been around me and I’d had some drinks so wasn’t as careful as normally am.

‘I am always careful and all I can say is that I don’t think it’s any of my friends and certainly nobody from my family. I wish I was so well off to own several cards. I think I’ve found one is enough.But I did keep my PIN code in my mobile phone memory.’

‘Well sir that may be where someone found it so you should let the police know that when they contact you. In the meantime if we can be of further assistance then please don’t hesitate to call us.’

I did want to ask about changing the name back to C Taylor but now it needed to be Ms Christine Taylor or I’d get pulled each time I used it dressed like this.

I thought that I’d better make a decision what I was going to do and then visit the bank personally.

I wasn’t sure about the legalities and I was still concerned that I might be stopped and arrested or that someone might take a dislike to me and report me. I decided that I had to discuss with doctor and to see my own GP. Maybe he’d give me a letter.

Well at least now I didn’t have to duck into my savings accounts. I was back in credit and hopefully my new card was working. I was itching to try it out but I might need to draw cash than to buy things on my card and use bank machines much more.

So now was I unfair to Jessica? Maybe it wasn’t her after all. But she was in Birmingham and Leeds.

Mmmm I should write down the people and the possible options but most of all choose a PIN number that I could easily remember. 1234, 5678, my birth year, my birthday and month? All too easy. Maybe the year that Aunt Judith died. Mmm silly idea that’s my birth year. OK I’d got it. The date I first dressed as Chrissy would do.

Then I wondered why the card issuers put the security code clearly on the back of cards. It didn’t seem logical to me since it is easy for a shop or a bar to write this down. Mmm maybe I’m better to keep a closer check on my account in future.

Could it have been Jessica. She did seem to have gloated when I had the problems. She was due to meet Kate and Dave Roberts shortly and I was still uncertain whether or not I should tell them about the problems in case she was involved somewhere along the line.

I still couldn’t work out why would she say you deserve everything that’s coming to you. But maybe she’d meant something else and it was all co-incidence.

I opened the first letter that was from my bank who invited me to meet one of their financial advisors from their main branch. It was only 10 minutes walk from our office building so I decided to bite the bullet and call them. I got straight through to their contact who was a very confident woman by the name of Louise.

I’d had to deepen my voice again which made me feel embarrassed and it was a strange feeling. I felt like I was trying to act like a man rather than being natural and I was uncomfortable.

She said she could meet me later in the day or on Friday morning and I said the sooner the better so I’d call her back when I had talked to my boss.

I wanted to open my other post but I had to see Kate before she started her meetings and before Jessica arrived so I went into her office. She was on the phone of course but she beckoned me to sit down.’

I felt a little nervous because she was talking to Dave Roberts from HR. Mainly it seemed to be about appointments and some information he had been checking.

When she came off the phone she apologized and then she asked me if I’d made my decision about accepting the promotion.

‘Kate I’m sorry but I’m still not able to answer until I’ve confirmed if this is me full time or not. It’s a big decision and I need longer to think and talk about it and I want to do a few things first and ensure that I don’t get into trouble.’

‘Look I understand much more than you may think I do so please take a little longer and let’s have a chat on Monday morning. We’ve set up some appointments for you at 4pm this afternoon and another tomorrow all being well that we’ll confirm when Dave arrives.’

‘Thanks Kate I really appreciate your patience and also your understanding.’

‘Chrissy believe me I know what you are going through in your mind and I want to help as much as I can. You only have to ask.’

I said I needed the weekend to think things over and that as each day went by I did feel more and more comfortable and I liked this new job a lot. She looked genuinely pleased and I didn’t want to let her down. I just asked if she minded if I made an appointment to meet my bank to sort out my card and she said OK.

I passed her a file that I’d made up for Jessica that included some reports that I’d printed off and told her I had another one for Anne before her second meeting but that Dave Roberts would bring her personnel and training file. A few minutes later Dave arrived and I left them together.

I made an appointment for 1-30pm with Louise from the bank and decided I’d try to make myself look as nice as possible at lunchtime and then talk openly about myself hoping that she would be discreet. I hadn’t got much choice. Maybe I’d pop to a make up counter and ask for some advice during my lunchbreak.

Yes it’s better than eating and I’d seen how helpful they were many times. I wondered if I could go through with it. What the heck. I had to change my attitude and be more positive and confident if I was going to do this. Why not? I’m not an ogre or some deviant. I’m just a person trying to find him or herself. I need a life.

I was busying myself as Jessica arrived for her appointment and for once recently she seemed calm and she was dressed very smartly.

She seemed too confident for my liking and she had a file in her hand that was easily readable, marked ‘Departmental Re-Structure.’ I hoped she would drop herself in it for being too smart for her own pants.

Then she just said ‘How’s Sally.’

‘Fine she seems happy now thanks.’

‘Good and how about James? Any news from him lately? Is he keeping himself out of trouble?’
Then Dave came out and they both disappeared.

‘What did she mean now? I hadn’t heard from James. What sort of trouble? Did she know something?

She had such a silly smirk on her face as she’d said it.

To be continued…….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 56 Interview day

I did wonder why Jessica had to be so poisonous sometime. It was as if she couldn’t stop herself and she liked to prod for a nerve ending.

I decided that might try James again later or at least text him. I didn’t want to chase him but he just seemed to have lost interest or disappeared.

I called Anne to see if she was prepared for her meeting with Kate and she was very nervous. I wanted Ann to be confident so I told her that she shouldn’t be frightened of Kate and that she seemed much nicer than her reputation.

My advice was to just say what she felt and not to criticize Jessica.

Anne said she had decided to just say what she would do to improve the Department performance and its image in the Company. She said her husband had given her a lot of advice but she felt he didn’t understand much about the office and the people so she’d made her own mind up.

I just said that she was a better leader than Jessica so she had my vote.

I was glad I’d called her and we agreed to meet for lunch the following day, good or bad. She hoped I might help her if everything worked out OK and I was pleased to be asked.
I had a chance then to open the second letter. As I looked at it closely it was addressed to ‘Ms C Taylor’.

It was only from the hotel in Birmingham offering me a Pampering and Spa weekend at one of their sister hotels at a discounted rate and thanking us for our business. I had registered as Ms C Taylor but used my credit card as security and also to settle the account for Sally and I.

I’d worried at the time but now it seemed like I was at least on their records as Ms instead of Mr. I rather fancied the idea of a Pamper weekend with either Sally or Julie and I must have been deep in a reverie when Anne arrived and brought me back to my day job.

The meeting with Jessica was still going on and Anne couldn’t settle down. I told her to go back to her desk and I’d call her when they were ready and in my opinion it was a good sign and not a bad sign.

When Jessica came out of Kates office she had a face like thunder. She just discarded her file in the waste paper basket and said ‘Shred that’.

Dave came out and asked for some coffee and to give them 10 minutes looking around for Anne. I said I’d sent her back to her office that he acknowledged. Kate was on the phone as I took the coffee in but she took the trouble to smile.

I called Anne who said that she’d not seen Jessica on the way so I said to forget it and remain focused. I took her in and now it was up to her.

I looked at Jessicas file and couldn’t resist opening it. The blooming cheek. She had me back in the office with another six people that she said she needed to handle the workload. She’d recommended that there were four team leaders instead of two and that Anne and I were just team members.

She also highlighted that she needed a secretary for the reports and administration. What planet was she living on in this day and age?

I sent a message to James to see if he was acknowledging me yet and then checked my e-mails to see that my appointment with Dr Ramsden was confirmed for 3pm at his private surgery with both Kate and Dave Roberts copied in.

That was my afternoon almost filled. I assumed I’d be there for at least an hour and it was at least 15 minutes by taxi to where he was. So I thought about what to say to him. I still was feeling like I was living in a dream and whilst each day was a new experience I wondered if I would soon tire of this lifestyle or if if it was just a novelty. I liked the job and the people around me and I liked that I was taking pride in my appearance and growing more confident as a person.

I wish I’d had my mobile phone ready to take a photo of Anne as she came out. Her face was just the opposite to Jessicas with a sweet smile and she did a little shake of her hips as if she was shedding an old layer that was dragging her back. She just crossed her fingers and made a funny expression. ‘She’s great. You were right.’

I couldn’t say anything since Dave came out and so Anne excused herself. I was asked to pop in for a chat at 11-30am.

Well now it was me. I decided not to change my mind about rushing in to accept the job. I was sure that I would but I thought ‘better safe than sorry.’

Kate was kind enough to explain that they’d declined Jessicas plan and offered her an alternative position. They intended to handle this carefully to avoid any constructive dismissal problems and then Kate just said ‘formalties so it’s not a problem. Jessica will understand when she calms down.’

So they’d decided to make Anne the temporary manager with a 3 months trial and said that she understood that it was important to get the teams motivated and properly managed. She’d picked out her team leaders so starting Monday she had the job.

‘So how about you then Chris?’

I told them I was pretty sure I’d accept but I’d like to confirm it on Monday after I’d chatted to my family and taken other advice including that of the Company doctor. Kate stood up and walked around the office to stretch her legs. There was something about her today that I’d not noticed before.

She was very beautiful, yet not pretty. She was tall and slim and I guess her trouser suit made her legs appear longer, especially in her heels.

Just now her beauty was more with a look of a young Anjelica Houston than pretty like Catherine Zeta Jones but she could carry both looks. I was getting carried away as I imagined her with a small cigar or cigarette strolling backwards and forwards. She did have the look of her father now that I’d met him. But no moustache of course.

I admitted to myself that I really wanted the job and that I shouldn’t risk missing the chance. I must be a fool to dilly dally.

But I resisted. I’d made my decision so I decided to stick with it to give an answer the following Monday. They accepted and Dave said I needed to see my own doctor as well as the Company doctor if I confirmed acceptance so he could examine me and provide a letter explaining that I was in transition that I’d need to avoid any problems. The Company would then provide full support.

He hit me between the eyes with that one. It was not a game anymore. This was a serious undertaking. Had I got the guts to carry it through?

I left them to talk together and the rest of the morning was a blur. Apparently Jessica finally returned to her office and shut herself in with Anne for a discussion whilst they both waited for the official feedback. Anne told me later that Jessica was in a state of shock but said she’s asked for a move to another department to further her career in the Company. Anne knew she was trying to put on a brave face and was kind enough to offer words of encouragement.

I went to lunch and called at House of Frasers department store as planned to seek help and advice on one of the make-up counters. I hovered around for five or ten minutes before plucking up the courage to accept an offer of help.

It was pretty busy and I felt conspicuous as shoppers looked on as they passed by. I’d seen this many times before in department stores but never expected to be sitting in the ‘dentists chair ‘like this in full view whilst Amy went to work on me.

She was so friendly and helpful and removed my own make-up replacing it with a much softer foundation and a brown eye shadow. She complemented me on my eye lashes and skin although I was sure she noticed that I had some signs of moustache growth and she asked why I didn’t have my ears pierced to avoid the problems of sore ears with the clip-ons I was wearing.

When she finished I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to put her in my bag and take her home with me. Then she quietly spoke and said ‘Sir you make a very beautiful girl. Can I help you choose some products that will suit you better than those you are using?’

I must have gone as red as a beetroot and I couldn’t speak. She waited patiently until I said thank you and since she’d not been embarrassed I felt at least now I could be honest and try out my new credit card.’ It worked and I’d made a friend as well who I might go back to for future purchases. She was very discreet and said she’d been delighted to be of assistance.

As I left the store I was still floating on air. I felt that everyone was looking at me and I couldn’t resist looking at my reflection as I passed the shops walking up the precinct. I just had time for a salad snack with some sparkling water before I headed towards the bank for my appointment.

I was ten minutes early so I had a nervous wait in the seating area before Louise came looking for me. I’d checked into reception as Christine Taylor and when she introduced herself Louise asked if there had been a problem because the appointment was for Chris Taylor. Was I Mrs Taylor?

I just said no Ms Taylor and afterwards she said she’d assumed she’d made a mistake or that I was a sister.

When I sat down I explained and she sat there silent for a while before asking me for some evidence such as my passport or birth certificate or even a doctors letter.

I’d got none of these and said that I had no idea what to expect and that I’d come for advice. We chatted for about ten minutes and she complemented me on my appearance and asked me where I worked and what job I did. It seemed like Louise had a few customers from our company and I felt comfortable to tell her a little bit about my changing circumstances.

Unfortunately Louise said it was unlikely that she could change the name on the card but that I was free to use it on the internet or to withdraw cash until we had chance to do something about it. She needed me to at least bring a doctors letter before she could take any action with her boss.

So I headed back to the office partly pleased but mainly frustrated with myself. Why hadn’t I anticipated this?

Then I got a call and I quickly opened my bag to answer. It was Julie. She was so excited and had had a wonderful lunch with her friend who worked for a Marketing and Research company. She’d been asked if she’d help them out on a short term contract with chance of a permanent position.

She was so happy and I was happy for her. Of course I was also delighted that she’d be working close by and that she was at least going to stick around for a while. I couldn’t have wished for better news since it gave me confidence to carry on. Mum would be relieved too and I’m sure that she’d help me to get mum and dad talking to each other and to help me sort out some things about Aunt Judith.

When I arrived back at the office Kate was waiting for me and we didn’t have time to chat. I had hoped she might notice my new look but no comment so I just followed her instructions and typed out an official announcement about Jessica and Anne.

She told me she’d had another chat with Jessica who was leaving on Friday night and transferring to a new store as assistant manager. She just said she’d be more suited to this role and thanked me for my honesty.

My next task was to visit Dr Ramsden so I left early and Kate said no need to go back to the office. I must say I was a little surprised how old he was and it appeared that he was semi retired and worked on a private basis for our Company checking staff and ensuring that any sickness notes were valid and that staff weren’t abusing the sickness and benefit system. Kate had introduced this scheme and told me that it had a big effect with much lower lost time due to one or two days absence with headaches or stomach upsets.

Dr Ramsden wore a white coat that was open for his protruding stomach covered by a waistcoat with a few stains here and there. He was a kind man who said I was not the first such case to be referred to him. So nothing I said seemed to be a surprise and he told me he’d known Kate and her family for more than twenty years before he’d moved to Leeds.

He asked me to undress and put on a gown and I was shocked since this was unexpected. I left on my bra and panties that he asked me to remove. He stood there but looked away.
Then I followed him to his desk and he checked my heart, blood pressure, looked into my eyes with a light, checked my ears and then my reflexes.

He asked about my general health and then about my family and their health records. I chose not to say anything about Judith and referred to mum as my real mum. Then it got a bit embarrassing as he put on his gloves and checked me out for any deformity and I had to give a urine sample. After that he took a blood test.

Then he weighed me and got me to blow into a machine to test my lungs.

He examined my chest and remarked on the softness and flabbiness. He said that my nipples were enlarged for a man and asked if I was more comfortable wearing a bra.

I nodded and then he suggested that I might discuss this with my own doctor and have periodic checks.

He didn’t give me any more information and he said that he’d send his report to the Company in due course. I dressed and then used the bathroom before leaving wondering if everything was OK or not.

Why won’t doctors tell the patient what they find or at least re-assure them that everything is OK?

By the time I got home I was whacked out. Mum was back and before we had chance to sit and chat both Sally and Julie had arrived. So the tea was brewed and I unloaded as much data as I could about the events of the day.

It was unfair since I was again the centre of attention but Julie just said ‘Later,later’ when I tried to talk about her lunch meeting and her new job offer.

She just said ‘tell me again what Kate said’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It seems strange that she said that she understands your circumstances’

Sally was looking on with a puzzled expression and mums mind was somewhere else.

‘Not really.’

‘But you told me before that Jessica was her neice.’

‘Yes I did but what are you driving at?’

To be continued……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 57 Hugs all round
‘Well if Jessica was her niece and her mum was Kates sister how can that be?’

‘What do you mean, Kate told me her sister became pregnant at school and that Jessica was given up for adoption.’

‘Yes that what she told me and that Jessica was raised by her adoptive parents who had two other children.’

‘But something doesn’t seem to fit here sis and I can’t just figure it out.’
‘Well hopefully all the fuss about Jessica can die down now and maybe she’ll be happier back in one of the stores.’

Then mum chipped in and said we should forget all this for now because she wanted to know about much more important things like how I’d gone on with Dr. Ramsden.

‘Nothing is more important than that Chris, what happened and did you discuss about options ahead of you and your feelings these days.’

‘Sorry mum, I should tell you because you’re right that’s my main focus just now because I need to make some important decisions and move on from here one way or another.’

‘But how do you feel and what did he say to you.’

‘If I’m honest the visit was a disappointment since he didn’t tell me anything other than I seemed to be perfectly healthy. He never discussed my feelings or why I had started living like this.’

‘So what happened?’

‘Well he did some fairly routine tests to check my heart and my lungs and he did a blood test. He checked out my eyes and my ears and my reflexes. I thought I was being signed for Manchester United or something.’

Sally giggled. At least somebody liked my little jokes but mum stayed serious.

‘Chris did he examine you more closely to see if you had any problems below or anything?’
‘Ha, no he looked at me and felt around a little bit that was embarrassing. He said everything seemed to be in place and asked if everything worked properly. Come to think of it he did ask if I’d I ever had sex or masturbated?’

’Chris, don’t be coarse!’

‘But mum you asked me what happened and that’s what he said to me.’

Julie piped in. ‘So?’

‘Well I said it worked Ok and that’s all you need to know for now isn’t it.’

‘Well no actually but …’

Sally intervened and said that was my business to which Julie said ‘OK I’m sorry it’s not that I am being nosey about your relationship but it does have an impact on your decisions.’

‘Julie I know and rest assured that sex is not so important to me and I never had any strong urges. But I am not impotent.’

‘But did you think ahead at all? If you carry on as Chrissy will you make it a permanent change and have an operation’

‘Wow you ask me a question that is difficult to answer just now. Much depends on what Sally thinks as well.’

Mum said ‘What about James and your feelings for him? Did you discuss this?’

‘Mum I was there for less than 1 hour and it was mainly medical tests. I’m supposed to see a therapist that was going to be tomorrow but nothing is fixed yet.’

Sally had gone quiet and I sensed it was because mum had mentioned James. I knew where she was coming from when she asked the question.

‘Mum I did tell Dr Ramsden that I didn’t think that I was gay. I tld him that I’d met someone but it was only a casual relationship and that strange as it seemed since I started dressing like this I’d found a girlfriend. Well she may have found me.’

That brought a smile to Sallys face and I was glad. It was true that she was my girlfriend but not necessarily in a boy/girl way. I just liked her a lot and felt good when I was with her. Sometimes I felt like I needed to protect her and other times I wanted to spoil her to death. I loved to tease her and she was gentle and kind and maybe that was my nature too that comes out more these days.

‘Well Chris what are we going to do then. What shall we do with you?’

‘Well mum I passed the medical today and nobody decided to shoot me so I guess I have to talk more about my feelings and to think about you and Julie and how this might affect you.’ ‘Sally is Sally and I hope that she understands what I’m trying to say.’ ‘Am I an embarrassment to you and could you accept that I live like this forever?’

Julie just said ‘Well you are a better sister than a brother that’s all I can say. I love you and I’ll always love you. It works for me with you living like this and people better get used to it that’s all’

‘You are magic. My favorite sister in all the world.’

‘Ha Ha the only one you’ve got so be careful to look after her!’

‘Mum was a little bit tearful by now but she nodded and sat forward with her hands together. ‘Chris I do think you will have to be very brave. You’ve got most of your life still to live yet and if this makes you feel better and it’s what you want then that’s the most important thing of all. You know you have my support and I’ll always be there for you as long as I have living breath.’

‘Oh mum you are so understanding. I owe you so much and still you give me more. You’re the best mum in all the world.’

Julie said ‘Ok that’s enough or we’ll have no tissues left. So what about the bank and the money that went from your account.’

I told them what happened and about the difficulty that I now had with my full name on the card. We decided it depended on my talks with our own doctor and what decisions I made. Then I thought it was the right time to tell mum that I wanted to talk to dad as well and to try to get us all to meet. He was still due to go to York for the weekend as far as I knew. I hadn’t heard anything and I felt sure he was waiting for me to call him.

‘Mum before I can make my decisions there is someone else who I would like to meet again and I can arrange that for this weekend before I meet Dr Reynolds. But it depends on you.’
‘What do you mean? I’ve said I’ll support you’

‘Mum I’d like to talk to dad as well. He is my dad. He is still your husband and julies dad.’

‘Chris you ask too much. You know he hurt me a lot and gran could not forgive him.’

‘Mum to hell with what Gran thinks this has gone on too long. What about me, what about Julie?’

‘Most of all mum what about you. Who ever takes care about you?’

‘Chris, I don’t know. It’s a few years since I met him and I cut him out of my life.’

‘Yes mum but we all lost him but most of all he lost us. All because he loved two sisters who loved each other. Look what you did for me. You forgave Judith so why can’t you forgive dad too? Life is too short.’

Julie was looking on nodding waiting to add her support but right now I was getting through to mum so she held back.

‘Mum, dad is coming to York this weekend and he’s waiting for my call. He wants to meet you and of course he would like to see Julie and I too. It would be a great chance to talk together.’

Long pause.

‘Mum I can’t make any decision about my life until I’ve consulted all the people who matter to me. Dad might have made a mistake. I am his mistake. Do you feel I’m reminding you of his weakness and the relationship he had with Judith?’

‘No’

‘Mum if I had to disappear so that it brought you back together I will do that tomorrow.’
‘Chris don’t be silly. I don’t think you are a mistake. You are very special to me.’

‘There is no point to be special if I caused the break up between you and dad. He obviously loved you and look what he did and the pain he had to live with.’

‘OK, Ok I will meet him. You can call him. I’ll tidy myself up and have my hair done tomorrow.’

It was hugs all round.

To be continued…….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 58 Making plans

Mum said she would see what she could rustle up for dinner and went through to the kitchen. Sally excused herself to go upstairs and I’m sure it was so that Julie and I could have some time together.

Julie turned to me. ‘Sis you did a wonderful job. Finally mum weakened after all these years and she listened to what you said. Goodness knows how many times I’ve tried to persuade her. All because you have suddenly learned to tell it like it is.’

‘ I could never have done any of this if you didn’t accept me and guide and support me. I’d have been a laughing stock and probably unemployed.’

‘Sis I only did what I felt was right. This is the real you not the person who never spoke to me except to complain or to ask me to move out of the way of the TV. I found the sister that I always wanted and somebody to laugh and joke with.’

‘Do you think mum and dad will get back together.’

‘Hard to say but mum has changed a lot too this last week and now if I was betting your money I’d say there is a good chance.’

‘Thanks, everybody likes to use my money.’

‘Well I’m sorry, but I was only joking as you know.’

‘Well if I was betting my money, assuming I had some left, I’d bet on them giving it a try.’

‘Well sis if they do get back together I’ll treat you to a Spa weekend at a nice hotel.’

‘Ha Ha.’
‘Well I can always buy one from you. But at family discount rate.’

‘What about mum and Sally? What about Gary?’

‘Don’t you think after all these years we should spend some quality time together and talk about your situation? What about this weekend, it’s a great chance if we can arrange something near York and twist mums arm to come with us. Then we can arrange to meet dad.’

‘It’s too short notice. I’ve got plans.’

‘Come on, what plans? I’ll have a look. I’m prepared to ditch Gary for the weekend and I’m sure that Sally won’t mind since you’ve a lot to work out in your mind.’

‘Julie it’s a great temptation but I shouldn’t take such a risk. What if somebody realized who I really was.’

‘Oh who are you then? Chris or Chrissy?’

‘I’m, I’m mm me. Chrissy I suppose.’

‘Oh at last you realize you are who you want to be and not who people expect you to be. It’s not like you’ll be running around naked all the time’

‘ That’s even worse then’

‘Why?’

‘Well I was going to say I’d got nothing to wear, but it wouldn’t matter.’

‘Ha,Ha’

‘OK maybe it’s a good idea. I’ll see if I get the vouchers.’

‘Come on we are going anyway. Are you going to call dad and tell him the news?’

I wanted to call him there and then but I thought I’d just be certain mum was still OK to meet him. Then I thought no. The way forward is to make arrangements for them and then give them no choice.

Julie was straight on the case and shot off to her computer to look at options in North Yorkshire. I went to help mum in the kitchen and she was quick to put her arm around my waist.

‘Chris, I’m so proud of you and what you just said was the truth. I have let this all go on too long and I should have stood by dad when mum was nasty to him. Whatever had happened he stood up like a man when many would have run away.’

‘Mum I can only say that if I was in your shoes at that time I don’t know what I’d have done. I probably would have crumbled and then what would have happened to me? I’d have ended up like poor Jessica. Abandoned and feeling unwanted. I’m starting to realize now what a hard time she must have had. How must she have felt. How would I have felt if dad left you and you and Gran were so upset that I was taken into care.’

‘Chris that would never have happened. Never in this wide world.’

‘Mum say it easy. Surely dad helped you and Gran and whether it was guilt or love I don’t care since I am who I am because he had that courage even if I’m mixed up just now. I love him mum and so does Julie.’

‘I love him too.’
Julie came in with her laptop. ‘Come on you two what’s for tea I’m starving.’

‘OK OK I’m making Spag Bol. Do you want to open me some red wine for the sauce?’

‘ Aw mum I have to do everything. I’m trying to book a hotel here.’

I opened the wine and Julie just smiled. ‘I’ve found a great place. It’s very romantic and it does pampering/spa weekends. I don’t care if your voucher is applicable or not I think this is the place for the Taylor family. It’s a luxury castle hotel in North Yorkshire and its not that far from York.’

It looked fabulous with 200 acres of gardens and a wonderful restaurant that had a view over the gardens. ‘Do you think we should book a double room for mum and dad?’

‘No way do you want to scare her off. She’ll have to creek the floorboards like any other new couple.’

Julie showed me the Indulgence package that was was for half a day. It had 60 minutes in the spa and a therapist to look after us whilst we had a mini facial and a full body massage using hot and cold stones. Then a mud wrap followed by toning with nourishing cream.’

‘Wow it sounds fantastic.’

Then reality set in. ‘There is no way I can do that. I aren’t a woman, I’m a man.’
‘Who says you can’t. Men and women can book.’

‘Come on Julie I can’t check in like this and then expect them to find a man in the spa room. Surely there is segregation.’

‘Come on Julie be positive. We’ll work it out. Let’s do it. Who dares wins afterall.’
‘OK if we want mum to meet dad I have to have the courage to do this.’

‘Good cos I’ve just phoned and booked it anyway. They only had 2 places left for the indulgence break. Plenty of rooms available though. Some wedding or other was cancelled.’

‘Julie you scare me sometimes. You are very impulsive. You just did it.’

‘Oh and you aren’t then. We make great sisters don’t we?’

Mum turned and said. ‘What are you two cooking up?’

‘We just booked a Spa weekend together so we can relax together and chat so I can make up my mind.’

‘Oh that’s so sweet. What a nice idea.’

‘Yes mum it is and the good news is that you are coming too.’

‘Oh no I’m not young lady, mm young man, I’m too old to be frolicking around semi naked.’
‘Mum you don’t have to we just booked you for the special weekend break.’

‘But what about Gran?’

‘Mum she can manage with her carer for a couple of days surely. Besides it’s a nice place for the four of us to spend the quality time I mentioned.’

‘Oh no Chris you aren’t setting me up. I might meet your dad but that’s all’

‘Too late it’s booked. Dad is in York anyway so why not?’

‘Chris it’s too soon.’

‘Too soon it’s seven years at least.’

‘Chris please. I don’t think I can face him like this.’

‘Mum how do you think I felt when Darren Harper arranged for me to meet him. Last week after lunch in Manchester when he didn’t know I was dressing like this?’

‘But that’s different Chris.’

‘Mum I just thought to myself that I loved him and I wanted him to love me. I was still me and I didn’t have two heads or three legs. I’d just grown up a bit and changed my appearance. Inside it was still me. I hoped he would accept me and he did without hesitation.’

‘Have you arranged anything with him?’

‘Not yet but if you agree then I will be very happy to call him’

‘OK but if he doesn’t want to come then it’s fine. Don’t beg him.’

‘Mum wild horses won’t stop him I’m sure.’

‘Well hurry up then since I’m putting the pasta in the pan so you have less than 10 minutes.’

I didn’t need 10 minutes. He was delighted and said that he would cancel his hotel in York for Saturday night and would be at a dinner on Friday night but available after breakfast on Saturday. Within 5 minutes Julie had confirmed the reservations and I was pouring the wine.

Then Sally came in and said my mobile phone had been ringing.

It was James. What did he want now?

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 59 After dinner chat

Sally looked a little sad when I’d recognized James mobile number on my missed calls.

I didn’t feel inclined to call him back straight away because dinner was ready. So to make Sally more comfortable I said I hadn’t heard from him for a few days and it could wait.

I wanted to do this so that she felt better. She was becoming part of our family and we were becoming very close.

I had realised a few times this last week or so that I hadn’t ever had such a close friend before, even at school where lots of us were together all day long. She had just accepted me when we met and didn't question my sexuality. I felt that this was why I'd gained in confidence so quickly and when I reflected on it my progress had been pretty remarkable.

We’d been almost forced to be together by Jessica and then she'd become jealous of our blossoming relationship. But maybe we wereen't forced together at all and maybe it was fate that we met each other. Just two quiet people looking for more in life who happened to be in the right place at the right time.

We seemed to be good for each other so perhaps it was fate.

Or was it? Maybe I could say the same thing about meeting James? He made me feel different but I hadn’t really had chance to get to know him with everything that had happened.

As things had developed I wasn’t sure just now that he was right for me. I liked him but I wondered why he’d been attracted to me. I was nothing like his former girlfriend or his friends who were with him in Birmingham.

‘Come on Chris, dinner is ready. We are waiting for you. Stop daydreaming.’

‘Mum I wasn’t daydreaming I was just thinking of how to tell James that I need some space to sort myself out. I am only just feeling comfortable with myself and its largely because of you three and also Kate of course.’

Julie chipped in as she cut herself some garlic bread ‘Don’t forget Jessica, she started all this and she encouraged you to dress as Chrissy. She likes you a lot I think and seemed happy to encourage you. She fancies you I think and don't forget that she gave you a ring. By the way where’s it gone?’

‘Mmm I know she did but at that time I daren’t upset her by refusing the ring. I put it in a drawer somewhere. I prefer to give it back at the right time. I suppose I do owe her for persuading me to dress like this and be myself. Whether she intended it or not she has helped me and this change has improved my life. But I still feel that Kate was behind it all.’

We had a nice chat together as we devoured everything. For once I didn’t worry about limiting my intake. We were eating and talking and talking and eating and the subject was mainly about the weekend and whether or not we should eat together or leave mum and dad to do their own thing.’

Mum didn’t like that part of it and she said that it was all too quick and she needed to see how she felt when her and dad met again. He’d had another relationship since they split up and mum hadn’t.

Maybe that's because women can’t just quickly forget a relationship and find another partner so quickly. They seem to have have deeper feelings about personal relationships. I'd often thought my feelings were more like a womans feelings than a man. Men haven’t got the same emotions or loyalty and that doesn't seem to be me. I know how I would have felt if my partner or even my husband I suppose had left.

I could understand dad might need someone to look after him but on the other hand mum was strong and would look after herself. But also she took full responsibility for Julie and I even though we were grown up a lot at the time they parted.I wouldn't know if dad really was serious about this other person in his life or if he just met her on the rebound. He probably welcomed comfort and liked someone to look after him.

Maybe I was getting too serious about myself. Perhaps I am non standard if there is such a thing. Is there a middle sex and is that me? But maybe not. However right now I could empathize with mum more than dad.

'Come on Chrissy, wake up.'

Julie was exited and she was already sorting out our schedule. She said she intended that we took maximum benefit from the spa package. I was very happy to let her be the organizer even though she did scare me a bit when she turned and said. 'How about a bikini wax?'

‘ No way.’ I said I’d prefer to manage with a ladyshave thank you very much.’

But she was serious and didn't let it go. She said that summer was coming and that she needed to be trim for her bikinis. She said I needed to consider these things now I was Chrissy. 'We girls have to take care of the details you know and keep them interested.'

We soon cleared up dinner with four to share the load and then whilst Julie made coffee I called James. Sally was quiet but I could see she wasn’t listening to TV. She had one ear cocked like a soft cuddly little spaniel dog.

James was a bit cool over the telephone because he’d been interrogated about the credit card fraud and he didn’t like it. He’d also had a visit from the police that was very embarrassing in front of his mum.

After I quizzed him more he told me that someone from behind the bar at the nightclub had been sacked and at the nightclub amongst the staff it was rumored that it was to do with cash discrepancies. It seemed that somebody else was also involved but James didn’t know who it was. His friend, the security person suspected it was the girl who looked after the accounts.She was a friend of James former girlfriend as it happened and so he knew her.

I just said ‘So it wasn’t Jessica then after all?’ and Sally picked up on it immediately.
‘She whispered ‘What do you mean?’

I stopped to tell her what James had said and she just said ‘I don’t believe it. She is involved somewhere, I’m sure of it.’

I told James what we were doing at the weekend and about our attempts to match make with mum and dad. He had hoped to try to meet but I said for him to be patient since I had to work out my mind and decide about my future and the job with Kate.

‘You’re crazy Chrissy. You should bite off her hand for a chance like that. I think this is your opportunity to change your life and where else will you get a boss like her who is so supportive. It’s unusual that something like this is so readily accepted, especially when it’s someone in her position. ’

I told him that Kate had helped Jessica and that now she was helping me. ‘Chrissy she might feel some sort of obligation to help Jessica but there is no connection with you.’
So I told him about the relationship between Kate’s dad and Aunt Judith and that he knew mum and dad.

‘Well there is still something strange going on as far as I can see and you won’t hear a bad word said about Kate so what can I say.’

‘James I don’t need you to say anything thanks. I have to make my own judgement and then decide my future and what sort of a life I want. Right now I’ve never been happier in my life even though this last two weeks has been full of twists and turns.’

‘OK, I won’t interfere. But I find it hard to believe that you will revert back to a life as Chris even though it doesn’t matter to me either way. I’d still like to be friends with you.'

‘Thanks for understanding James. I’d like to stay friends too and maybe to meet soon when I’m ready. But I do care a lot about Sally.’

He went quiet and I felt a bit bad. So I just said that I like him a lot and thanked him for his kindness. I told him I might call after the weekend if he’d like me to keep him updated.’

He just said ‘OK great. Please do’ and that he’d look forward to good news.

I sat next to Sally and she whispered ‘thanks’

Julie brought in the coffee and mum opened a box of Black Magic chocolates that I’d bought her for Christmas. ‘Time to spoil ourselves and indulge.

You two can work off the calories this weekend. Your dad already knows what I look like. It’s too late for me to start slimming.’

Sally started to tell mum not to put herself down but Julie said to take no notice. ‘She knows she’s OK and she’s just fishing for complements.’

Julie opened her laptop to show us the details of the hotel and I said for me this was indeed going to be a very special and unique occasion. First because I’m normally 3 star or less, second because I was checking in as Chrissy, but mostly because I’d never dreamt about having the chance to do what girls like to do and be pampered.

I realised that most men would never waste money on a pamper day. Maybe as Chris I would have felt like that too. But now as Chrissy I wanted to go no matter what it cost. I wanted to indulge myself. I was keen to try it and asked if I need a bathing suit.

Julie quipped ‘It’s up to you sis but maybe you want to use your birthday suit?’

‘No way.’

‘Well I think I can fit you out and I think I can even help you produce a nice cleavage.’

The cushion went flying and almost knocked mums coffee from her side table.

‘Girls please. Behave yourselves.’

Julie just giggled even more and all I could do was stick out my tongue.

As we sipped our coffees Sally said she thought it was a great idea since it was an opportunity to relax before making my important decisions. She asked what James had said.

I told her he’d accused me of never hearing a bad word about Kate that irritated me. His retort was to say that there was something strange about all this.

Julie piped up again. ‘See that’s almost the same as what I said earlier. I said something doesn’t fit here. I still can’t quite put my finger on it.’

‘I can’t help it if Kate took me under her wing and gave me a chance. Probably she had her reasons like she said …family look after family.’

‘Yes but you’re not family.’

‘Well maybe we know that now but she wasn’t to know.’

‘Sure she did. She must have known from her dad that he wasn’t your real father. He knew mum and dad.’

‘Girls do you mind changing the subject. It’s not nice to be reminded you know.’

I said sorry to mum but Julie didn’t stop.

‘Look we know that Jessica is Kate’s niece because she admitted it and we know she has looked after her. Maybe she did suspect that you were her half sister until it was made clear that you aren’t. But if so she didn’t need to offer you a promotion or to give you a raise and side-track Jessica back to the supermarket job.’

‘No she didn’t but she did. Maybe she just likes me or maybe I have proved myself good at my job. Strange things happen sometimes you know .’

‘Yes I know but I can’t remember what it was that happened or what might have been said. It’s annoying me.’

Then Sally chipped in and said that at least Jessica might calm down again with less pressure on her Maybe that was what made her so aggressive and vindictive.

Mum just said she thought that Jessica has probably suffered because she felt rejected as a child and it wasn’t unusual.

Then Julie jumped up ‘Mum that’s what it was. Where is my computer.’

To be continued …………….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 60 So what?

We sat back whilst Julie logged back on.

Mum said ‘What on earth is the matter?’

‘Do you remember last week when I checked the details of Darren Harper to find out if he was still registered?’

‘Yes I’m sure we do since as a result of that Chris ended up meeting him.’

‘Well, look here what is says.’

‘Yes so what?’

‘Well?’

‘Well what?’

‘It says he was married with 3 children. We know.’

‘Yes but something isn’t right.’

To be continued………..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole

Chapter 61 Inspector Julie

Well I wasn’t sure what Julie was driving at and neither was Mum or Sally. I didn’t really understand what she was looking for on her computer until she looked up and said.

‘This is what I found last week. The database at the university says Darren Harper was a lecturer and he is the father of 3 children — two boys and a girl.’

‘Yes?’

‘Well I thought that you said that Jessica is the illegitimate daughter of Kates’ sister and that she was adopted.’

‘Yes that’s what she said.’

‘Doh!! Chrissy Doh!! Are you still trapped in a male cocoon? Don’t you see?’

‘If Kate is Darren’s daughter she had two brothers and no sisters.’

‘Maybe the data base is wrong.’

‘ OK it could be wrong. But another theory might be that Kate is not telling the truth and that she is Jessica’s mother.’

‘No she is too young.’

‘How do you know, some people look very young but in fact they are several years older.’
‘Well I don’t know for sure but as I know she is around 36 or 37 years of age and quite young for her position.’

‘So she could be older and maybe she could be Jessica’s mother.’
‘I don’t think so they have different personalities and they don’t seem to be that close and it’s hard to imagine.’

Mum chipped in ‘Yes maybe the website is wrong.’

Julie retorted ‘Well it’s hard to believe it would be wrong since this is a famous University.’

Sally was thinking deeply and I could tell that she agreed with Julie.

‘I don’t think that Julie is saying that Kate is telling lies but maybe she is just being economical with the truth. Does it matter anyway if Jessica is leaving and you have information now that indicates she was not the person who accessed your bank accounts.’

‘Well it is not that important but I wouldn’t like to think that Kate was Jessica’s mum and that she’d taken advantage of her position to employ her and promote her. Maybe that’s why she moved me out of the way. Maybe that’s why I got the job without any previous experience.’

Mum chipped in again ‘Yes but she is confirming the job now and offers to give you a raise so why would she do that if she just shifted you out of the way? Why would she listen to you and to Anne?’

Julie just shook her head ‘Or maybe Kate is not who we think she is.’

‘Rubbish. I like her and I feel she wouldn’t tell lies. I think she is very honest ’

‘Look sis she did tell you Jessica was her niece and she asked her to help her to make Jessica better at her job. I’m not saying she is a criminal or that she is a bad person and I know you think she is a wonderful boss but I still say she is not who we think she is. That’s all I’m saying. Why don’t you have a chat with her.’

‘I can’t do that. What do I say? Julie thinks you haven’t been honest with me. Is Jessica your daughter?’

‘No but you could do it in a more subtle way because if you change your life and she drops you like a stone and doesn’t support you then it’s added pressure that you don’t need. She might be at the back of all this you know.’

‘Why would you think that? It was Jessica and the girls in the office who encouraged me to dress as a girl and it wasn’t anything to do with Kate.’

‘But Kate supposedly mistook you for a girl remember. Didn’t you say that she had a boyfriend who was a transvestite? Maybe she influenced him to dress like that.’

‘Julie she couldn’t influence him. He either had the desire or he didn’t.’

‘Well I still think there is more to this than meets the eye.’

‘Come on girls I think that’s enough for tonight'

Julie still scrolled down the website and said she’d like to know more about this family since they did have a connection to us through Aunt Judith. I did feel that she had a point and all this information did cause me to think about Kate and Jessica and try to recollect things that had happened. Why would Kate accept me so readily?

We left it at that for the night and I was soon snuggled up in bed. But Sally was now becoming more intrigued.

‘Chrissy do you think Julie was right that Kate is Jessica’s mum?’
‘No I don’t but there is a link.’

‘But why would she say she was her niece if she didn’t have a sister? She is the only daughter of the family’

‘I don’t know the answer but I’m sure that as I get to know Kate that I’ll find out.’
‘Does that mean you are taking the job and changing your life?’

‘Ha Ha are you trying to trick me? I still didn’t decide and I suppose that’s the natural conclusion.’

‘What are you going to do? Will you try to find out?’

‘Well I am going to go to work tomorrow and carry on. I have to help Anne since she has helped me and I need to see my own GP and look into the problems that might come from living like this on a permanent basis. At least I need to give myself some space to think about this’

‘But Chrissy how do you really feel? Are you happier recently or do you have any desires to switch back?’

‘Well I’m still me but I must say that I like myself much more living as Chrissy than I did as Chris. I like the complements and how people treat me. I don’t have to hide my emotions and I don’t have to try to be more of a man.’

‘Chrissy I like you and I must say that since you changed your life style you became much more interesting and more confident. I think you are a very special and unique person’
OK I’ve got the message. You vote I take the job.’

‘Ha Ha, yes if that’s how you want to put it because you’d have a good income and you could look after me.’

‘Oh yes, are you thinking of settling in full time then? How do you know that I will be worth living with if I can’t come to terms with the situation.’

‘Well I’d be there for you so of course I’m confident. This is you isn’t it and not the guy who I met who was too shy to speak.?

‘that’s very nice to know but what do you really think about me. Am I a freak?’

‘No I think you are a natural woman and I like you.’

‘If I was a man would you like me?’

‘But you are not a man. I’m sorry to say that but I think of you of my girlfriend not as my boyfriend.’

‘But what would people think about you living with me as two women? Isn’t it likely to cause problems with your family?’

‘Chrissy my family are important but I do feel they’d like you even if you had three legs.’
‘Ha ha many a true word.’

‘You silly thing.’

‘Sally what do you want really?’

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 62 My quiz

Sally didn’t seem sure how to answer at first then she spoke out ‘ Chrissy I don’t know what to say since my life has changed a lot these last two weeks since we spent time together and I don’t want it to end. I didn’t dare think too far ahead or say anything in case I scare you away.’

‘Why do you think you would scare me away ?

‘Well you have other options. You met James and you also seem to like Kate and even Jessica showed interest. I sometime feel that I get in the way and I can’t compete with any of them.’

‘Really? Is that what you think? ‘

‘Yes since I have nothing to give to you. I haven’t had much luck in my relationships and I am away from my family. I’m not much fun.’

‘Mmm that’s true. I never thought of that so maybe I’m wasting my time with you. It sounds like I’m missing some better chances.’

‘Chrissy don’t say that. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it did. The words just came out.’

‘Well I’d like to believe you but now I’m in a difficult position.’
‘Sorry Chrissy sorry.’

‘OK if that’s how you feel let me ask you to do something.’

‘What?’

’Close your eyes and keep them shut. No peeping’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘Nothing just close your eyes.’

‘I don’t like this you’ll do something.’

‘just close your eyes and keep them closed. Now tell me what color my eyes are’
‘Uuum bbbrown no more hazel colored.’

‘What color panties am I wearing?’

‘White with a littlr pink bow.’

‘What color is my hair?’

‘well it’s a bit lighter than it was now you’ve used some highlights. It’s a deep honey color towards light brown’

‘OK so what color nail polish am I wearing?’

‘Pink. No none at all you removed it earlier today before you went to see Dr Ramsden.’

‘Which arm has the beauty spot?’

‘You haven’t got a beauty spot it is a small scar on your right arm where Julie cleaned a cut you got from a thorn bush.’

‘Stop peeping and keep them tightly closed. I’m not going to do anything.’

‘You seem to know a lot about me but now the final test so keep your eyes closed. Tell me something. Is this a boy or a girl kissing you?’

‘What? ..Mmmm I don’t care.’

‘Wow you don’t care? After you answered all the questions correctly.’

Sally opened her eyes and before she had chance to say anything I kissed her again.

‘So you don’t care then?’

‘No I didn’t mean it like that. I meant I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl kissing me I like it. I think I like you any way up or inside out. You are always teasing me.’

‘yes I do but the good news is that you passed my test. I don’t think the others could have done half as well. What do you think?’

‘No I don’t think they could have.’

So now you might feel better. Don’t you realize how much I care about you?

Then I thought to myself ‘A life at last.’………………………..

.....................................

But that feeling was only the start since I wasn’t sure yet and my friendship with Sally came out of nowhere. Did she love me as a girl or as a boy in a dress or didn’t she really mind? Would she want me to stay like this forever in some sort of transition or maybe she might want me to be more of a man.

Pheww.

‘Why such a heavy sigh?’

‘I was thinking about my situation and my future. I am really happy like this and each day I feel more comfortable. But is it just the novelty and will I get hurt or will I hurt other people around me by living like this? I feel like an inbetweener. I do like myself much better though. I hated my life before since people expected me to be someone that I’m not.’

Sally was hugging me so hard I couldn’t breathe. So that shut my babbling.

I smiled at her and said I’d like her to test me with a kiss but better I turn off the light than close my eyes. At least at first. As I switched off the bed side light I got a thump in the middle of my back.

‘You are terrible to me Chrissy Taylor.’

‘Ha-ha so you shouldn’t think so bad of yourself.’

It was dark since there was no moonlight through the curtains. Sally was pretty good at kissing and she had a naughty little darting tongue that I tried to catch. It was so comfortable to cuddle together and it was made better because now I could hear it raining outside. I always liked to snuggled up warm in bed when it rained heavy and it was lashing against the window pane.

We might have been awake for another two or three hours chatting together. I felt that I’d become much more talkative and certainly Sally could talk nonstop once she was comfortable with people. I hardly said anything as Chris.

I guess eventually we fell asleep but I’ve no idea who had the last word. It didn’t seem long before mum stirred in the bathroom and light was shining through the thin curtains.
I felt really nice and it surprised me after so little sleep. I hoped I didn’t look like a dogs dinner at work and especially if I had an appointment with my GP. I wondered if I should ask for Dr Walker who is a lady doctor at the surgery.

I guess I’d have to take pot luck. I had to get past the Gestapo on telephone duty on the reception desk first and see if there were any appointments at all. Nowadays they limit the number of appointments each day so I always feel like people have to anticipate that they will be ill by a week in advance just to get an appointment. Either that or be seriously ill.

Could I really justify going to see the doctor since I wasn’t really ill.
I decided to get to the office early and keep ringing the surgery until I got an answer and hopefully I could use the auto redial instead of hoping my timing was right. I think we have a third world telephone system..

At breakfast I was pleased to see Julie and I had to apologize to her for not asking about her new job.

She didn’t really mind but I could tell she was pleased I’d asked. She was exited since it was chance to settle down and save up. I could sense a wedding in the air sometime soon. Mmm I hoped that I wouldn’t embarrass her dressed as I was. I might have to stay away. But she’d never let that happen.

Julie dropped me at work and said she’d have to start charging soon unless I took lessons and started returning the favors. Mmm that was another obstacle to overcome. My provisional license has me as Chris. Is there no end to the difficulties?

Well I couldn’t believe my luck when I called the surgery. I got straight through and Dr Walker had a slot available at 4-30pm. I was sure Kate wouldn’t mind so I accepted it.

Kate was a little bit late in so I called Anne and arranged to have lunch with her. It seemed that Jessica had calmed down and Anne said that she expected she’d be telling everyone she’d been promoted.

When Kate arrived I took her coffee in and she smiled and asked how I was. It was a chance to tell her about the appointment with my GP but also to ask if I still needed to have any more follow up consultations. She said I could leave it for now until I’d decided about accepting the job or not.

She was delighted about my news to visit York and that mum and dad would be meeting up. She asked how mum and reacted and hoped it all worked out.

I felt it was my chance to ask her about her relationship with Jessica and before I realized I’d said it.

‘Where did that come from Chrissy?’

'Well Kate I’m sorry but we were chatting with mum last night and I just recalled you’d told me Jessica was your niece. You said when she was young she’d had a difficult time.’

‘Yes Chrissy I did say that and it’s true. If I tell you something about Jessica I wouldn’t want you to broadcast it but I do feel that I can trust you.’

To be continued…….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 63 Something about Jessica

‘Is it that Jessica is not your niece and maybe even that she is like me and was not born a girl?’

‘Chrissy where on earth did that come from? Who would say that? Why would you think that?’

‘Well it is just that my family and I were talking about Aunt Judith, my dad and Darren Harper, your dad. We saw somewhere that he had three children and you know that we’d all been wondering if I was his child too.’

‘Well Chrissy why would you suspect she was not my niece or that she was not a girl? Maybe it will be more clear after I explain a little bit.’

‘Sorry Kate I’m embarrassed with myself for saying that but you know that sometimes people add two and two and get six.’

‘Yes that is the problem with guesswork and you know me I like to base on facts rather than assumptions.’

‘Kate, I’m sorry.’

‘Chrissy at least I’m happy to explain and then you will know the truth. I owe you and your family that but please take care.’

Kate then explained that when Jessica had approached her teens her adopted parents had problems with her as I’d learned before. I thought it was because she found out that she was given up for adoption but it seemed to be a bit more complex.

Kate said Jessica was prone to a lot of mood swings as she was growing up and that she locked herself in her bedroom for long periods. She always seemed to argue about anything at all and then she had periods of aggression or abusiveness and swearing, that were followed by feeling of sadness and then guilt feelings.

It seemed to get worse by the day so they’d been to see two or 3 doctors who diagnosed different forms of depression that they'd all thought were related to her finding out she was adopted. The last one thought it was more serious so prescribed treatment by drugs.

Eventually they’d reached the end of their tether and visited Darren to seek his help since he was the true grandfather and they wanted some financial support for more private consultations and treatment.

Kate then told me that her dad had recommended a specialist to help who he’d known from university but was annoyed that they weren't following it up. They were only seeking financial help so he arranged for his friend to carry out assessments who later became a close family friend.

Jessica's step parents continued to pester Kate’s dad and they’d carried on with the treatment and advice from their own family doctor. Jessica was even more difficult to handle. Eventually the specialist took over because Jessica wasn’t doing very well at school either and she had a lot of time absent. Worst of all the drugs that had been prescribed had caused other problems and she was ridiculed by her friends.

‘So they were more interested in money than sorting out Jessica’s problems. What was wrong with Jessica?’

‘Chrissy she had a mood disorder that dad had discussed with his friend who’d suggested it was probably some form of bipolar disorder and that the drugs might not help. He recognised from some research that the type of drugs prescribed were for adults and that they were were dangerous to young children. HE wanted to have a second opinion and to have Jessica checked by an expert.’

'So what was wrong with Jessica with this illness?'

‘As I said she was having more frequent displays of anger and irritability and sometimes she talked a lot , then she’d get silly. She was driving her parents crazy since she at that stage hardly slept and played loud music every night.She said nobody loved her.'

‘Kate is that what Jessica suffers a little bit now?’

‘In a way but it’s been controlled a lot since dad intervened and paid for specialist help. The drugs weren’t any use at all and delayed the onset of her puberty. They were giving her some masculine features as a side effect and her characteristics changed and she looked very boyish for a while. That caused a lot more problems at school.

'My recollection was that she looked much more boyish than you did when I met you and it took some time to correct.Dad had to interfere and the family have been involved ever since. Family has to take care of family and Jessica shouldn’t have been given up for adoption.’

‘Chrissy dad got involved at the right time and stopped the drugs but the damage was done and Jessica can never have children but at least her mood swings and periods of aggression have been controlled. That’s why you’ve seen her appear fine one day and then she switches personality or does something out of her normal nature.’

‘Kate I can understand a little bit more and I can understand why you have looked after her at work.’

‘Chrissy you don’t need to worry about what I’ve done since Dave Roberts knows the full story and it’s all in Jessica’s file. We are trying to use her talents and make up for disrupted education because she is very intelligent despite her lack of qualifications. Jessica is still under the care of a psychiatrist with periodic assessments.'

'She’s made good progress and that’s why I asked you to help.‘Jessica was misdiagnosed and had been given dangerous adult medications that could have killed her. So she was lucky it was caught in time.I was sorry we had to move her back to store management but maybe we can try again later.’

‘Kate how sad for poor Jessica, I feel awful, if only people knew.I would like to help if I can’

‘Chrissy I do appreciate that but remember that it’s not something to make public knowledge since it’s not fair to Jessica. She’s come a long way these last few years.’

‘Kate is it the same psychiatrist or specialist that you want me to see.’

‘Yes if possible since he knows about you already. He checked me out because this medical condition that Jessica had can be hereditary. I have had several consultations with him myself but we won’t go into that just now if you don’t mind since I’m late already. Maybe we can talk again later. Here is the number of his secretary so please make an appointment for yourself and the Company will pay. I’ll see to that with Dave.’

When I left Kate I sat and reflected a lot. I felt sad that poor Jessica had had such a bad start in life and lucky that at least mum and dad had taken care of me. It seemed I drew a lot better straw in life than the one that Jessica drew.

Imagine to be adopted and then find out about your true family later. So maybe her anger hadn’t been that at all. Maybe it was her illness and the drugs.

I cried a little bit and I wanted to tell Anne and mum and Julie but I didn’t think I should. How could I help now? I didn’t feel that I could just reject Jessica if she left and whilst she wasn’t really my family we did have some sort of common history.

I thought I might try to meet her and that I should find the ring that she gave me. I didn’t think I could just forget about all this.

I called her and asked if she’d like to meet me the following day since I wanted to thank her for this opportunity with Kate. She was surprised and very happy to accept.

I felt better already and then called and made an appointment to see the psychiatrist, who was Mr. Twomey I’d managed to see him at 8-30 the following day as a favor because of the connection with Kate. She was right that I’d be looked after.

To be continued ……….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 64 Doctors visit

Well the news from Kate had been a shock and I wanted to respect Kate’s request to keep it secret but I was aching already to tell somebody.

I felt that it was difficult since in my situation I realized just what it was like to feel like everybody was looking at me and talking about me. I knew it was my imagination but it was affecting my confidence and I could see why Jessica might react badly if she was the subject of gossip.

For now I just had to tell Sally at least. She had been hurt by Jessica at a time when she needed help and she’d been kicked out of her home. So I called her and swore her to secrecy before I agreed to tell her anything.

Afterwards we both felt more comfortable knowing that Jessica wasn’t deliberately causing problems but as Sally concluded it was hard to help or understand. But still Kate’s explanation didn’t answer Julies main question.

I couldn’t pry anymore without being more direct but I decided I’d heard enough to feel comfortable that Jessica hadn’t given my bank details away and might not be as cruel as we’d all been thinking.

For once the day wasn’t so hectic and I had lunch with Anne at the café in Marks & Spencer’s that was quite crowded with a lot of retired couples filling in their day and taking advantage of the special offers. What a life.

I resisted the temptation to tell Anne what Kate had told me but she was too exited anyway and she told me her plans to lift the morale in the office and how she planned to give Helen and Kim more responsibility. She was still quite nervous because Jessica was still around.

Anne then surprised me by giving me a Thank You card and a gift after we’d eaten our sandwich that she said was a token gift for my kindness. I was a little surprised because men would never think to do such a thing and as Chris I’d have never had the chance.

I was very excited as I gently opened the wrapping paper and inside was a beautiful fine gold necklace with a heart that she said was my heart of gold. I was a bit taken aback because it looked very expensive. Also there was a small box with matching earrings but they were for pierced ears.

I removed my silver chain that Julie had given me and Anne helped me to fasten it since the clasp was a little bit difficult for me with my nails that were getting quite long. That was a job for the weekend according to Julie so I’d been told to take care not to break any that seems quite difficult when I was used to keeping them tidy. Anne also reminded me that I’d promised to have my ears pierced and offered to go with me. Finally I accepted to make the arrangements.

Anne said that she was really appreciative of my help and she hoped we could be good friends. She said that she could never have gotten the job without my coaching and so as well as the card and gift she wanted to invite me to dinner with her husband and perhaps I might bring Sally or Julie along.

This new life was certainly much different to my old one. I don’t recall ever being invited to dinner and the idea really appealed to me.She told me that her husband knew about my changed circumstances and was quite comfortable. He’d told Anne that he didn’t want to pre-judge me and would not feel uncomfortable as long as I was OK. He did say that it might be strange though to dine with 3 ladies.

I wasn’t sure this was a good thing to do after I heard that. But I decided to try anyway. I doubted I could act like Chris even if I wanted to. I promised myself that I’d go out of my way to avoid embarrassing Anne’s husband.

I was really taken aback by Anne’s kindness and I felt speechless for once in my pseudo new life as Chrissy. I’d started to get a reputation as a chatterbox ( according to Anne) and the girls in the office wanted me to join them the next time they went out for a birthday lunch.

So at last I was to be included in the gang and each person would buy a small gift for the person whose birthday it was. It sounded like the next birthday was Kim’s the following week. It seemed like I was due to go shopping for a gift and the limit was 10 pounds.

Anne said she’d contact me to fix the dinner date when I knew for certain who would join me and she suggested it might be in two weeks time on a Saturday evening. I didn’t have to do anything except turn up. I should take advice on good manners.

After lunch we had time to call on the ladies floor where Anne helped me to buy some new underwear and some tights. She encouraged me to buy a black uplift bra and some really nice matching bra and panties sets in blue and in deep pink.

I was so excited that I didn’t remember the problem of my credit card until we were paying. Then I colored up and Anne asked what was wrong.

She gave the assistant her M&S charge card and then asked for an application form for me. We completed it and took it to the customer services counter to hand in. It was a friend of Anne’s so she had a word with her to avoid any embarrassment and they decided to register Chris Taylor as my spouse. They giggled together and said I should wear a wedding ring in future since the card would say Mrs. C Taylor.

I wished we could have spent the afternoon together shopping but we both had to get back to work. It was like a paradise in M&S and I had felt like I was in dreamland.

The afternoon whistled by and about 3-30pm I changed into some of the new underwear in the ladies bathroom so that I could go to my doctor’s appointment. Kate had offered to drive me that was really very kind but she said that she wanted to show her support and that I shouldn’t go alone. I accepted.

Now my next challenge as I approached the registration desk at the surgery there were 2 receptionists. Kate took my arm and urged me forward. The older lady asked me for my name and then looked over her spectacles when I told her my name. ‘Mr. Taylor? Mr. Christopher Taylor has the appointment. Who might you be miss?

Kate chipped in ‘She is Chris Taylor and this is the reason for the appointment. She needs medical advice from her GP.’

‘Oh well I’m not sure that this was explained. Please sit down whilst I call the doctor and have a word.’

We sat in the waiting room for 5 minutes before the lady came to see me and said that Dr Walker said it was OK since I wasn’t the first transsexual to attend his clinic. But I didn’t feel like a transsexual if indeed I knew what one was. I just felt awkward to be expected to be examined by a stranger..

Kate held my hand whilst we waited and then a message flashed up Ms C Taylor Room 3 Dr Walker. Kate gave me a push. ‘That’s you’. The receptionist looked across and smiled as I walked across to the exit door leading to the corridor to the surgeries.

Room 3 was towards the end next to the nurses room where I’d been before for injections. The nurse looked up and smiled as she saw me approaching but I’m sure she didn’t recognize me but I recognized her.
Dr Walker was looking at his notes as I entered and he asked me to sit down. I expected him to say something but he just clicked the mouse of his computer and said ‘Hello, now tell me what brings you to my surgery this fine afternoon.

Please tell me what has happened to you since last time you visited. That was for an infection according to our records.’

I didn’t speak so he looked up at me.

‘Well Christopher have you had some problems since according to your medical history there is no record of anything that might lead us to believe you have any hormonal deficiencies and I’ve received a letter from your mother explain that you are dressing as a girl and may wish to make this a permanent arrangement..’

‘Sorry Dr.Walker but I don’t know where to start or what to say.’

‘Well start by explaining why you felt it necessary to see me and if you have just the desire to dress like this or if your intention is to consider treatment or a magic cure.’
I explained everything that had happened and how I felt awkward as Chris and shy and unsociable. As Chrissy I felt more confident and I enjoyed to be alive.

He picked me up on this and asked if I had any feelings of depression or worries that might lead me to do something silly or stupid. Luckily I didn’t and he focused his attention towards quizzing me about my feelings towards women and other men and if I’d had any bad experiences whilst growing up, such as being molested.

I did explain that I always felt inferior since I wasn’t the strongest boy and I’d been one of the smallest in our school year. I’d tended to avoid the groups of boys and the sports games and kept myself to myself.

A few of the girls in my class even seemed stronger than me and had bigger muscles and deeper voices. Life didn’t seem fair to children and unless we were average or excelled at something we didn’t seem to fit in.

I told him that I’d grown my hair long when it was fashionable for boys to wear ponytails or to let their hair grow over their shoulders. I used to brush it every night and styled it occasionally with my parting in the centre just like a girls since I wanted to see if I was as nice as some children had said.

Quite a few people had commented about my more feminine features and I’d had some strange feelings whenever I heard this. I had also had two experiences that I’d liked but tried to dismiss. The first was when a school friend told me he used to dress in his sisters clothes and offered me the chance during the long summer break. I’d not been able to resist but I’d tried hard not to display any sign of enjoyment.

The second experience went on for quite a while. I used to stay at my friends house for the evening when I was about 14 years old whilst his parents went out to a local pub. He was heavy into masturbating that I hated and wanted to have sex with a girl but was too frightened.

So he encouraged me to play the part of a girl and gave me one of his mums nighties to wear. He’d almost penetrated me but there was nowhere for him to go. I’d tried to hide my pleasure but I’d really wanted him to find a way. We did this several times each weekend until he finally made love to this girlfriend.

Sad to say she became pregnant and they were married with four children the last time I heard. Mm that could have been me!

Then I recalled my first ever experience of excitement cross-dressing when my mum gave me a pair of Julies blue knickers to wear in a paddling pool on holiday when she’d forgotten to pack our costumes. I felt like one of the girls rather than one of the boys that day and stayed quietly with Julie listening to their chatter..

Then he asked if he could examine me and told me that he wanted his nurse to be in the room if that was OK. I blushed but nodded and he buzzed her.

I undressed behind a screen and put on a gown that he gave me and he then examined me whilst Nurse Harrison looked on. He commented about the soft tissue around my chest and asked if I’d noticed any changes.

I did have very tender nipples these days and realized that a bra had helped a lot. My boy shirts had caused my nipples to become erect sometimes that had been embarrassing in the office at work. I’d taken to wearing a T shirt and even strapped my chest to make it flat.

He lifted my gown and then commented that I wasn’t very well endowed and that my testicles hadn’t seemed to have formed properly. I felt embarrassed to be prodded and had no idea why I wasn’t as big as the other boys at school and why I hadn’t got a lot of pubic growth or hairs on my legs.

I wasn’t the only boy like this but I remember feeling that I wouldn’t like to be hairy and I might shave if necessary.

I did explain that I’d often wake with stiffness before I used the toilet and he asked me to provide a sample of urine. Luckily it wasn’t anything else since I didn’t think that would be very easy.

Then I had the usual blood tests and blood pressure test and blew into some device or other to demonstrate that my lungs were fine. He looked in my eyes and my ears and did a few more general tests before he allowed me to dress again.

He then asked if I intended to carry on dressing as Chrissy and said that this might cause problems. He offered to give me a letter to say that I was being treated for a medical condition and that I was living as a woman with the possibility of some sexual re-assignment after consultation and review. He said this would help if I was stopped by anybody if I used the female bathrooms.

I asked if I could use it as a reason to change my bank information and credit cards and he suggested I discuss with my bank.

He then asked me about my families reactions and I told him how supportive they’d been. He asked if I wanted to change my appearance or whether I was satisfied to stay as I was.
This was a big question. I did feel like I would like to be even more feminine in my appearance and instead of hiding my man boobs now I’d prefer them to be larger.

I’d really like to be as big as my sister in that department but I guess that I’d have to be very careful not to knock things over as I turned around. No I didn’t need to be so big but I would like to experience cuddling a baby and wondered how it might feel to feed and to be a mum myself. What was I thinking? I remember thinking ‘What’s wrong with me?’

I’d advised about my appointment with a specialist so Dr Walker asked me to make an appointment to meet him afterwards in about one weeks time after I’d talked things through. I didn’t seem to have much choice.

So I left with the letter and Kate was waiting and smiled and held my hand.. I’m not sure what the ladies on reception thought as I made another appointment and they did ask Kate if she was my partner.

She just smiled and said. ‘No dear, no such luck. Maybe one day.’

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole

Chapter 65 Drying out

I was grateful to Kate for accompanying me and especially since it started to rain as we left the surgery. The warm spring weather had disappeared overnight and we were both unprepared as we ran to the car in a heavy squall of rain.

Kate was laughing as she opened the car door and I asked what was funny.
She said that I’d soon learned to run in heels and was surprised that I’d kept up with her.

In truth I surprised myself and especially since my skirt had restricted my strides to shorter steps. My hair was wet as I sat in the car and Kate reached over to her sports bag and produced a small towel. I removed the excess rainwater and she did the same.

‘Shall we go dry out rather than go back to the office? Have you time to have a coffee and a tidy up and I’ll drop you home afterwards?’

I was happy for the offer and said I appreciated her thoughtfulness.

‘OK you’ve got the choice. Would you like to call at my Fitness centre or perhaps you’d like to come to my apartment and I can attend to a couple of urgent things I need to do whilst the coffee is brewing?’

‘My God what a choice it was a no brainer really but I didn’t know if I dare say.’

‘Never mind I’ll decide for you since it’s still working time. Come on I’d like to show you what hard work can bring and I never have chance to have anybody around that is such a waste.’

I smiled and fastened my seatbelt and said I’d like to do whatever she thought best and because she’d been distracted away from the office I’d be happy to help if she needed it.
As she accelerated out of the car park she said I’d have to forgive her mess since her it was her housekeepers day off.

It took less than 30 minutes to reach the security gates where Kate lives and they opened automatically using a remote control in the car. It was a beautiful location on the edge of the countryside with large trees both sides of the drive leading to a residents car park.

Kate had the first floor of one of the converted buildings and somehow I’d expected that she’d live in one of the exclusive central city apartments near the old wharf.

Kate explained that she liked privacy and that this was one of her family’s investments and they rented out the other 5 apartments. Each one had private areas and there was a covered swimming pool that had a patio area alongside it and a communal barbeque.
She said ‘Like it?’

I nodded and looked around with some envy as we crossed the pebbled area where Kate parked her car and she held onto my arm to ensure that I didn’t fall over.

We both looked a bit bedraggled as we entered Kate’s apartment and looked in the large hallway mirror removing our shoes. I had to put on a pair of slippers because no heels allowed on the wooden floors.

The apartment was massive and very modern and bright with large windows and it made my home seem very old fashioned and small.

‘Come on Chrissy let’s dry out and tidy up and then we’ll brew some coffee. Would you like to use the guest bathroom?’

Wow it was amazing. Better than any bathroom I’d ever seen before with a giant sunken bath and separate shower and a large vanity unit full of nice soaps and crá¨mes and I hardly dare use.

There were lots of fluffy white towels and 2 matching dressing gowns.

I dried my hair with the drier and tidied my make-up. Luckily my hair wasn’t that long to be a problem and I quickly brushed and styled it.

I was slightly damp but not enough to catch a cold and at least the rain shower had created an opportunity to spend a little private time with Kate.

When I returned to the lounge I could hear her talking on the telephone in her bedroom so I found the kitchen to look at making a drink. She had left her breakfast dishes unwashed so I tidied around and found her fresh coffee and coffee machine and since I already knew Kate’s preferences I started to brew.

Normally she liked Americano style hot and black whereas I preferred latte so I found some milk and no doubt the aroma attracted Kate so she appeared in the doorway.
It was nice to sip the warm coffee and Kate finished the call and insisted we go through to her lounge.

‘Well what do you think?’

‘I think it’s fantastic, absolutely fantastic.’

‘Good I’ll show you around soon if you have time and I hope I’m not distracting you.’
I was perfectly fine and was itching to look around. It was the sort of place I’d like to live and yet I’d never expected to be able to afford it unless I won the lottery. I wondered if I could ever afford such a place.

‘Kate this is 5 star and I really think it’s fabulous. How long have you been here?’
‘Three months so I don’t know where everything is yet and I rely heavily on my housekeeper. It has 4 bedrooms and a separate dining room so I do tend to rattle around a bit.’

‘Don’t you feel scared here alone?’

‘No it’s very secure and you didn’t see the security guard or the surveillance cameras did you?’

‘No but what about your neighbors?’

‘They are not the average residents they are very nice business people and families and I’ve met all of them and they made me very welcome.’

‘Do you swim in the pool?’

‘Well I’ve used it twice so far but hopefully I’ll use it during the summer months. But I do tend to be a workaholic these days.’

We sat down on the sofas and Kate switched on the gas live flame fire that gave a nice warm feeling to the room especially as Kate switched on some of the soft lighting.

‘Are you feeling better. It was a bit traumatic really. A doctor’s appointment and then a cold shower.’

‘Yes I didn’t have time to take it all in. The examination was a bit of a repeat of the other day but at least the doctor seemed satisfied with the results but I don’t want to tempt fate. It’s not like I’ve got a disease or anything so I did feel a bit guilty to be there.’

‘Chrissy you need all the opportunity you can get to talk about your situation and especially if you want to carry on and make a permanent transition.’

‘What do you mean permanent transition? I don’t think I want any surgery.’

‘I meant to live and work as Chrissy since I would like to think you’ll accept the job. I like you and I think you’ve been very helpful already and in fact you are a natural.’

‘Thanks I do enjoy working for you and I do like the job.’

‘What did the doctor say?’

‘He didn’t say much he just asked questions but mum had sent him a letter that he didn’t show me. I want to ask her what she said when I get home.’

‘Do you like living as a girl?’

‘Yes I think I do. It’s much more satisfying than my life as a boy. I can show my feelings and people are much nicer to me. It makes me feel better about myself and I’m not lonely like I was before.’

‘Well believe me Chrissy it is nice but I’m sure you’ll also find that you’ll face a lot of challenges. Life as a woman does have it’d downside sometimes as you will find if you persevere so don’t hesitate to talk to me if things get complicated or you have any problems.’

‘Thanks you’ll be the first on my list to call.’

‘Good, now how about your family situation? Is everything organized for the weekend?’
‘Yes I do need to catch up with Julie though since she’s supposed to finalize the arrangements for our Spa weekend and also I do need to call dad and ensure that mum doesn’t back out of her promise.’

‘Oh Chrissy I’m sorry, I don’t want to delay you but I did just want to let you know that I’ll be there for you as and when you make your decision.’

‘Yes I know and rest assured that is an important consideration.’

‘Chrissy I did want to carry on our conversation a little bit from this morning that is the other reason for inviting you for coffee.

You seemed to have some concerns about me and my family and at least you now know about Jessica so did that satisfy your curiosity?’

'Yes thanks. Well yes but maybe not fully.’

To be continued……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 66 Kates story

I realized that Kate was right. It wasn’t that my curiosity hadn’t been fully satisfied but I did still feel there was a lot more to find out about Kate and her family and the links between he father and my real birth mother.

I could sense what Julie would be saying if she were with us. She’d be nudging me to ask more questions yet I felt tongue tied for a few moments and I guess I was still in awe of Kate who after all was my boss.

I was obviously a little bit nervous in these surroundings trying to sit forward on the sofa with my knees together and hands together as Sally had coached me recently. I looked at Kate and my mouth wasn’t working so she started the conversation.

‘Chrissy we talked quite a lot about Jessica and I’ve explained the circumstances about why I helped her didn’t I?’

‘Yes I understand that she is your niece and about her illness, if it is an illness.’
‘Yes but you still seemed to have doubts even though I explained so since we do have some sort of connection through our families I felt you should feel free to talk away from the office. Is anything still troubling you?’

‘Well it’s not exactly troubling me but I’ve obviously been talking to mum and Julie and this weekend we’ll be with dad hopefully and they are sure to carry on conversations we’ve been having and Julie did find it strange that Jessica was your niece.’

‘Why, don’t you believe me that she’d been given up for adoption?’

‘Yes but you told me that she was your sisters daughter, born after a fling with a school friend.’

‘Well, so what’s the point?’

‘Well, according to the information Julie found about your father when we were trying to trace what might have happened to him, he had two sons and one daughter.’

‘Oh I see so are you asking me if that’s true? Are you suggesting that I was in fact the real mother?’

‘I wasn’t doubting you at all and I do believe that Jessica is your niece.’

‘So then there is only one question to ask surely, so please ask it.’

‘Well did your father have two daughters and two sons, or could it be he even had another daughter out of wedlock.’

‘Oh Chrissy, poor dad seems to have the reputation of a philanderer and that’s far from the truth. He is a very loyal and homely person and I’m very attached to him. He helped me a lot.’
‘So the inform
ation was wrong then, he had two daughters and a son?’

‘Well I suppose you could say both answers are right and in the end that’s the reason we moved and why he ended up transferring to Manchester.’

‘I’m a bit lost.’

‘Chrissy the truth is my sister is truly my sister but I was in fact a little bit unique when I was born and was registered as a boy because I had some testes, but I was androgyne.’

‘Oh but you are not a man, you are quite obviously female’

‘Well now it’s true that this is the real me but it wasn’t easy to get to this stage that is why I fully understand your situation and why I am available if you need help or advice.’

‘Are you telling me that you changed sex?’

‘No I was one of a few cases of a person born with two sexes and at first I was raised as a boy.’

‘Wow, how amazing so does that mean that you had boy and girl bits?’

‘Yes if you want to put it like that but really I’m a bit of a mix even now. Dad says I have all the assets of a woman but that I think and act more like a man that is why I’ve been so successful in my career so far.’

‘But do you still have your boy bits and is everything real.’ I was looking at her figure and envying her cleavage and colored up a bit.’

‘Yes as I grew older the female side of me developed and I’d already had problems at school because my some boys were bullying me one day and ganged up on me and stripped me naked in the gym. They didn’t hurt me and I could handle myself one to one but there were too many of them.

They laughed at me and eventually pushed me into the girls changing rooms where some girls freaked out’

‘So what happened?’

‘Well the gym mistress intervened and gave me a towel and recovered my clothes. After that rumors went around school like wildfire and I was an outcast for a while.’

‘Mum and dad met with the headmaster and I was excused gym lessons because I was appearing more feminine by that time and my breasts were starting to develop.’

‘So you were turning into a woman?’

‘Ha-ha yes I was turning into a woman but I still felt confused and was dressing in boys clothing.’

‘Did it affect you or what?’

‘Well I just got on with my studies and it made me more determined than ever to excel at everything. I was already pretty smart compared to most in my class and I came top in most subjects.’

‘How old were you?’
‘I was thirteen and the only problem was I was getting dizzy spells and hot flushes. Some of the girls in the class were in the same situation so my sister took me under her wing for a while and explained a few things to me. It was like the girl inside me was taking over my body and my testes weren’t developing.’

‘So what happened?’

‘I started to have regular consultations and it was decided that I should try living as a girl rather than as a boy and I was referred to several medical experts and asked about my feelings as they tried to determine if I was girl or boy.’

‘Oh it must have been horrible. I can imagine that you felt very embarrassed.’

‘Yes I felt a bit of a freak for a while until my features changed and it was more obvious that I was a woman who needed some medical attention rather than a boy changing sex.’

‘Did you want to be a woman and what happened to your male bits?’

‘Well I had advice not to have any operations and I was given some medication to help my feminine development and the body changes were amazing. My breasts developed and my hips were wider and my hair was soft. I had no beard or moustache growth anymore and boys actually started to look at me and notice me. We’d moved by this time and I attended school as Kate Harper instead of Kerry Harper that was my birth name.’

‘Wow so you had far more problems than I had since I was just a whimp and a bit of a nerd and was largely ignored.’

‘Well as Kate I never had any problems at all. Girls at school accepted me as Kate and life was much easier. Some boys were really attracted that did cause me difficulty since it was strange when I’d been one of them for such a long time. I had a few serious flings but I didn’t want to encourage them to get too physical that was a bit difficult sometimes.’

‘Oh Kate I think you were so brave and it’s amazing that a person can be born like this.’
‘Well I am one in a million as dad says but maybe it’s one in thousands I don’t really know.’

‘Kate I really admire you and I hope you don’t mind me asking but did you ever have feelings for girls.’

‘Ha-ha only for you Chrissy only for you.’

‘Oh.’

‘No I’m joking with you. I did have a few close friendships and yet none of them developed into anything. I feel a bit in the middle so I throw myself into my job. It’s a bit lonely for me sometimes when I come back to this empty apartment and a lot of my school friends and University friends are getting married. We do get together sometimes and we have a good laugh and party very well but we are all dotted around and do different jobs.’

‘What about this boyfriend you mentioned you had who was a transvestite.’

‘Yes I met him at University and he was very nice but he liked the club scene more than me and eventually he started to frequent bars in Manchester where there were lots of men in drag on their fun nights and he joined in. I guess he enjoyed it more and more and he started to go to bars where he could dress as a woman but I was not comfortable when he wanted me to go with him. So we separated and whilst we still have contact we don’t meet very often. He is such a nice guy and I think he found a few very close friends and feels much happier so I’m happy for him.’

‘Oh Kate do you want me to keep all this as our secret, just between us?’

‘Well it’s better that you don’t gossip about it but if you feel that you have to explain to your mum and dad or Julie then I’ll leave that up to you to judge. Please take care though.’

Well be sure I prefer not to gossip and really the only person likely to ask is Julie who I would trust with my life. I don’t think mum and dad will pry. They are old school people.’

‘So have I helped you at all with this chat?’

‘Yes Kate you have made me realize that I’m not different I’m just a little bit unique.’

‘So will you be a friend to me as well as my assistant at work?’

‘Yes of course I will because you are so kind and without you I never would get the chance to find out about myself.’

‘So what about your situation? What about your feelings now you found out about your real mother and her relationship with my dad? How do you feel right now since you have such a lot of changes happened and what about Sally? How do you feel about her?’

To be continued………

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 67 Heart to Heart

I looked at my watch and it was already 6pm.

‘Kate I’m sorry but I’ve occupied a lot of your time already. Do you mind to carry on talking or have you something else to do?

It didn’t seem to be a problem for Kate and she seemed OK and she asked me to stay and have something to eat together if I liked since she didn’t eat much if she stayed in alone. I did feel obliged to accept her offer but also I really did want to stay and talk. She seemed to be the one person who might understand my situation.

I wanted to talk now that I felt more relaxed in her company and I couldn’t help but notice her natural beauty as she stood looking out of the window with the sunlight shining on her hair.

I wanted to grow my hair longer and color it a little and have soft curls that would make me more feminine too but I didn’t think I could be so beautiful as her.

‘OK I’d like that too but do you mind if I just call mum and Sally and let them know since we were sorting out about the weekend this evening and I know that Sally was feeling left out.’

‘Feel free I’ll just see what I’ve got in the fridge and the freezer.’

I called mum first and she said she’d pop around to see Gran and she’d planned to leave me a salad anyway so she was fine. Now for Sally so what should I tell her?

She was arriving home as I called and so I told her where I was and that I’d be delayed and would be eating something with Kate if she didn’t mind. Her voice seemed to be disappointed even though I felt she was trying not to show it and she just commented that she was going to offer to make a curry and she’d bought some ingredients.

I apologized and I promised to be home by 9pm so we could have a chat. I felt she was becoming more and more attached to me and I felt that I’d let her down but I hoped that she would understand.

I found Kate in the kitchen and she was just opening a bottle of Presecco wine and had taken some prawns from the freezer to de-frost.

‘Shall we have a drink together and if you like wecan chat whilst we make a snack?’
I was very happy to do that but I didn’t want Kate to drink too much if she was going to drive me home as she’d promised. She said that she wouldn’t drink much but that she’d organize a taxi if necessary as she felt like she needed to relax if I didn’t mind.

The wine was nice and much better than the cheap Cava that we drank at home if we were celebrating something. It was easy to drink so I tried to slow down and just take the occasional sip.

It was going straight to my head since I didn’t seem to eat much these days and I’d been trying to lose more weight to feel comfortable in my new style of clothes. I’d already found that the skirts I had were loose around my waist and my bum was very slim that I liked when I’d tried on some of Julies shorts for the weekend ahead.

Kate turned on the TV to catch the news whilst we prepared our snack and then I lost her as she became absorbed and settled onto one of the stools. So here I was left to prepare the meal but I really didn’t mind since the surroundings were fabulous and it was a chance to show my culinary skills.

I defrosted some prawns that Kate had produced from her freezer and decided to make a spicy prawn pasta dish that mum had taught me before I went to University. I was pretty good at it if I say so myself and fortunately Kate had the basic ingredients I needed as well as a fresh pack of spaghetti.

Kate did seem to glance across from time to time and went across to the freezer to produce a stick of garlic bread that she said I could defrost. She produced some nibbles to eat as we sipped the wine and also a pack of Parma ham and some asparagus.

I shook my head in disbelief at her withdrawal from helping me and she just laughed.
‘So Chrissy tell me how do you feel after all the excitement and changes in your life these last two weeks. You seem quite comfortable and relaxed and I’ve noticed a big change in you?’

‘Well I must say that I do like my job and I do like working for you since it’s much more interesting than working in the general office.’

‘No I didn’t mean that I meant do you feel more comfortable to let your feminine side come out and not to have to live a lie?’

I was a little bit taken aback at her directness but thought a bit before I answered.
‘Well Kate I must admit that life as Chris was a struggle sometimes and I never felt at ease with people. Boys seem to think I was too effeminate and didn’t really include me and most of them were interested in sport and showing off and that wasn’t me at all.’
‘Did they think you were gay?’

‘No not really they just thought I was useless so they never wanted me in their team and they virtually ignored me. So I had more girls as friends than boys.’

‘So what did the girls think of you?’

‘Well they just accepted me as I was and whilst I didn’t get included in a lot of things at least they talked to me and sat with me at lunch or during breaks.’

‘Chrissy did you ever feel that you were really a girl?’

‘No not really but I did sometimes feel like I was being treated as a girl and it used to scare me so I fought against it as much as I could.’

‘Don’t you ever wish that you’d been able to wave a magic wand and become one of the girls?’

‘Well once or twice I did get myself into situations where I felt like a girl but I thought it was normal to have this experience because we all have a bit of both sexes in us.’

‘So what happened?’

‘Well I used to stay at my friends house on Friday evenings when his parents went out for the evening and I guess he was wanting to explore things much more than me and he was reading his father’s magazines and asking me if I liked to look at naked women.’

‘Did you?’

‘No not really but it did get him very excited and he used to suggest that we masturbated together. I didn’t like it and it wasn’t so easy for me because I wasn’t very well endowed so I was embarrassed’

‘So what happened?’

‘Well I tried to persuade him that I was interested but he was too enthralled himself. But one night he asked me to help him and he turned off the lights and asked me to pretend to be a woman holding him and massaging him.’

‘did he do anything?’

‘No I stopped him and pushed him away and luckily his grandmother appeared through the front door and saw him without any trousers. She gave him a real dressing down if you know what I mean. Ha-Ha’

‘So was that it?’

‘Yes, not very exciting was it but I told mum I didn’t want to go there anymore and that was it. Shall we eat?’

‘OK if you want to change the subject I’ll stop being so nosey.’

‘thanks, I don’t mind really but we should eat because otherwise everything will be spoiled.’

By now Kate had decided that I should go home by taxi since she was enjoying the wine. So was I.

Kate took hold of my hand as we were eating our first course and said ‘ Chrissy I think this is the real you and I do hope that you don’t mind me encouraging you to live this new experience. I just sense that you want to really let yourself go and stop holding back.’

‘Yes but I’m a boy and this is wonderful but I hate it sometimes because it’s wrong and I’m cheating. I was born a boy and it’s not my right to choose and to change how God made me.’

‘Chrissy where is that coming from. What’s wrong.’

‘I can’t do this Kate, I feel so guilty. Mum and Dad will be ashamed of me whatever they say to me and people will laugh at me behind my back. It can’t be right and how can a live a life as a woman when I was born to be a man. What happens when I get old? I can’t have children as a woman and I don’t feel right as a man. Who would ever accept to look after me in my old age and what would happen after I died?’

Kate put her arms around me and I burst into tears. I sobbed and sobbed and Kate took me through to the lounge and laid me on the sofa and then lifted my head onto her lap.

‘Chrissy what makes you think that you are different? Do you realize that we are all a mixture and that it’s just that some people are slightly more masculine or more feminine and some like me are really a mixture of both. So are you in a way.’

‘But I was born a boy and people expect me to be a boy. You are different. You have to make a choice and I don’t. Mine is a selfish choice’

Chrissy it’s not that you are selfish you are the same as me and everybody else. You are a mixture and sometimes girls have masculine features or personalities and sometimes it’s the opposite for boys. In a way it’s easier for a girl to dress like a boy but it’s not just the dressing is it?’

‘No. I like being a girl. But I feel so bad about myself.’

‘Chrissy let me help you please. You are wrong to feel guilty. You have to try to face your feelings and perhaps after a few consultations you will understand more about your true self. I did and I’ve never looked back since I made the change that was necessary.’

‘But I feel a complete fraud. I have all this emotion inside me. I am not the true son or daughter of mum and I found that my real mum was my aunt who died when I was born. I was her punishment and now I’m being punished too.’

‘Chrissy you are nobody’s punishment. You are your fathers daughter or son as you choose to be. You have a free choice since it’s your life to live and not for anybody else to live for you. Your mum will know what I’m saying so please talk with her too and be open with your feelings to Julie too.’

‘But what about dad, what will he think. All men want to have sons that they can be proud of and I am a failure to my dad.’

‘That’s not true. What about my dad and me. Why don’t you give your father a chance. He needs your help and I think he will appreciate your support as a son or as a daughter.’
‘Kate I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to cry and to spoil the dinner.’

‘Well the tissues are free and I don’t worry not to consume calories so don’t worry about me. ’

She stooped down and kissed my head and dried my eyes. Wow I felt like a whole weight had been lifted from my body.

‘Kate thanks so much for your support. I’m sorry to be a burden.’

‘Well you are a bit heavy and my leg has gone to sleep.’

‘Oh sorry.’

‘Come on I’m joking. Do you want to go home?’

‘Yes if you don’t mind I’d like to prepare for tomorrow and to see Sally since she was a bit disappointed.’

We freshened up together and Kate produced a bag from her bedroom as we left for the car.
‘Here are some things that you might need for the weekend. Feel free to give them away if they don’t fit right. I think you are a very attractive woman so go for it girl. Enjoy the experience since it’s all part of the treatment you need ’

I was glad that Kate drove me home and I welcomed the kiss she gave me as I got out of the car.

As Kate pulled away I turned to look up the drive. The front door opened and Sally was standing there and with the light of the hallway I could see that she had a holdall with her.’

To be continued…..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 68 Calming Sally

We looked at each other and then she held the door open as I walked slowly towards her. She looked awkward and then she said ‘Oh you’re back earlier than you said.’

‘Where are you going? What’s wrong I told you that I’d be back about 9pm to see you?’
Sally looked embarrassed and said she felt awkward because she’d wanted to leave before I returned and that she’d left me a note.

I took the holdall from her and closed the front door. Then I stepped forward and put my arms around her and lifted her head.

‘What’s wrong Sal please tell me why you were leaving the house with a packed bag. Have I done something wrong?’

She put her arms around my waist as if she was clinging on for dear life.

‘Chrissie, I’m in the way and I don’t belong here, this is your home and I don’t want you to feel like you have to come home early because of me.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about Sal I only called at Kates because we got drenched and then we just got chatting. She was helping me by relating her own experiences and what she told me was pretty amazing.’

But you stayed for dinner and it’s obvious she likes you and you like her.’

‘Huh, yes it’s true that I like her but then that doesn’t mean that I don’t like you. So much has happened in my life this last two weeks that I’m getting to the stage where I hardly dare get out of bed in a morning. I’m only just getting to know myself and of course you and I are just getting to know each other so please don’t spoil it. Are you jealous of Kate?’

‘No no I’m not jealous. Well I suppose I am really. It’s because I can’t compete with her. She has everything and I’ve got nothing. She is beautiful and she’s rich with a successful career and a big car. Look at me.’

I couldn’t say much because she clearly was feeling left out of things. I wished I could invite her to join us at the Spa to cheer her up but it was our chance for a family weekend to try to get mum and dad back together and for me to talk about my circumstances and to try to understand what they thought of me living as a girl on a permanent basis.

‘Sally please give me some time and have confidence in me. If you truly like me then trust me to spend time with Kate without assuming anything.

She’s told me about her past and she didn’t need to do that. She did tell me in confidence so I can’t say much but we were just talking about her experiences growing up and whilst I like her a lot she’s still my boss and I don’t want to let her down.
‘So what’s all the mystery, why can’t you tell me?’

‘Sally I just can’t so please trust me.’

I could tell that she wasn’t going to let it drop but at least she calmed down a bit.
‘Where were you going?’

‘I wasn’t sure but I would have probably gone to the apartment for the weekend to have a chat with Jessica now she’s leaving. She probably needs a friend and even though she was awful to me I think she deserves a chance to apologise.’

I thought that wasn’t a bad idea since they needed to sort things out between themselves and somebody needed to make the first move. I was sure that Jessica would be reasonable and probably she’d be feeling a bit low as well. ‘Why don’t you give her a call?’

So we went through to the lounge and Sally agreed to make the call. I’m glad she did because they both chatted and before long it was as if they were long lost friends and they were arranging a night out for Saturday.

‘OK I’m the jealous one now.’

Sally smiled and replied ‘ OK little miss smarty pants it was a good idea. I forgive you. But I’m gonna get you later and tickle you till you tell me Kates secret.’

Well at least the calm had returned and 10 minutes later Julie and mum arrived home so at least we all had time to sort things out for the weekend.

Julie had contacted dad and he was meeting us at the hotel early evening in time for dinner with mum. She had fixed up for us to have some girly time on arrival and booked appointments at the salon for hair treatment followed by a manicure and a pedicure. It meant we had to depart around 2pm and I’d arranged to finish at lunchtime and Julie was collecting me so I could pop home to get changed.

Julie said we need to look our best for dad so mum was booked in for a hair appointment as well. She still insisted it was going over the top but Julie gave her no choice.

At least now that Sally was calm we could all go upstairs to pack and sort out what we needed to take with us. I took the bag of goodies with me that Kate had given me and opened the bag placing the contents on my bed.

‘Whow you are lucky Sis. Shorts tops and trainers and just look at the jeans and the jacket. And the swimsuit and the silk Kaftan. It makes me look second class.

‘Jules I’d like to share them with you please. How can I wear these they are far too sexy for me.’

‘Come on you prude, of course you can wear them. They look like they are our size and they are new. Didn’t Kate use any of these or has she bought them especially for you?’

‘They are hers but she never gets chance to wear them.’

We had a wonderful hour of trying different things and I t was hard to believe that I was Julies brother and not her real sister. Mum and sally entered into the judjing before we finalized our selections. It looked like we were packing for a weeks holiday instead of a weekend break.

Julie was also very generous and shared her make-up and jewelry. She had plans for us to dress for dinner with dad and packed two long black skirts and matching white blouses. ‘I think we’ll have a spray tan on Saturday so we look more glamorous. Are you up for it?’
Of course I wanted to try but I’d no idea what it entailed. Sally whispered that I was in for a shock.

After we finished mum disappeared to take a long soak in the bath and Julie, Sally and I went downstairs for some hot chocolate.

We told Julie that Sally was staying at the apartment and had called Jessica and she was interested to hear her reaction. She said she was still intruiged about the relationship between Kate and Jessica and said she still suspected there was more to come out yet in her opinion. ‘Just see if I’m right’ she said but I chose not to say anything even though Sally looked across and almost spoke out.

Later in bed she turned off the light and said, ‘right Chrissie come on dish the dirt!’
I just said ‘What dirt?’

Sally tried every trick in the book to get me to say something including saying ‘girls always share secrets’.

I just turned away smiling and then she started tickling me and I was helpless.

‘Please Sally please. I can’t . Stop it or I’ll wet myself.’

She stopped and then leaned over and gave me the most passionate kiss and followed it by caressing my boobies. I was feeling really nice and inside my panties were getting wet with excitement. Or was I imagining it and I’d wet myself.

Eventually I said ‘OK I give in I’ll tell you but you mustn’t tell anybody.’

She put on the bedside light and said ‘OK but if you don’t you are going to be awake all night.’

She was amazed at what I told her and afterwards I regretted it and asked her to promise not to say a word or I’d be really upset and might not be able to ever forgive her.

She just said ‘Well I will only tell Jessica.’

She was kidding of course and I fell for it.

We laughed and cuddled each other and she said she was really happy that I’d trusted her.
Then she asked if I minded if she showed how grateful she was of my trust in her. She asked if I'd like to make love together.

It was a shock.

‘Sally I can’t, I know I can’t and you knew that when me met.’

‘Of course we can. Let me teach you.’

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’

By Julie D Cole

Chapter 69 Sallys tricks

Sally sat up and leaned over me and slowly and gently removed my nightie. I didn’t want to resist because I was very aware of the effect it was having on her and it was having an effect on me too. My boobies had seemed to develop recently and my nipples were tingling as she stroked them lightly.

I was pushing towards her hand and she was teasing me by moving her hand away slightly.

How I wished I had the pear shaped breasts now that she had instead of the soft mounds on my chest I tried to boost the size as much as I could by pulling my elbows in to my sides but I was still no match for her or for Julie. I felt that I had to do something to boost their size but I was thankful that I still enjoyed the feeling.

Then she leaned across to my right ‘breast’ and drew the nipple towards her mouth and then I moaned as she closed her lips around it and tickled me with her tongue. I pushed my nipple forward and she took it between her teeth and teased me as she bit it gently.

Ooooh it was wonderful and I pushed her mouth towards my left breast that was feeling neglected.

Sally looked up with a wicked little smile on her face and bit me.

‘Owww’
‘You softy you know that you like it.’

I giggled as I looked at two erect nipples aching for more and she lay back and said ‘Now your turn.’

I lifted her nightie over her head so she laid prone with her breasts exposed waiting to surrender. I sucked and tongued her nipples in no way that I’d done before starting with tenderness, gradually increasing the intensity teasing her and squeezing her until she was moaning and writhing gently on the bed.

I leaned forward and ‘dangled’ my naked breasts over hers until they touched. I felt like Marilyn Monroe in those few moments and was sure we were the same size.

‘Chrissy you are mine, you’re so beautiful’ she whispered as we kissed passionately with our breasts touching and the nipples like four rapiers they were so erect.

Sally couldn’t hold back any longer and I felt her shiver and gyrate her hips until she pushed me backwards with her knee and lay over me. She laid flat on me and spread my legs wide with her knee gyrating her hips simulating that she was penetrating me.

For the first time in my life I felt some urge in my own loins yet I wanted her to make love to me. I wished she could penetrate and I wrapped my legs around her.

Then she pushed even harder and I could feel her pelvic bone and I pushed as hard as I could back. Then she had an intense organism and I felt myself becoming firmer and she took my inadequacy inside her and I responded as best I could until finally she pulled back as I ejaculated too.

We fell back onto the soft pillows and I felt like I wanted to cry out. I couldn’t believe how much I’d enjoyed myself and sally just looked at me and winked.

When we woke in the morning we were clinging to each other still naked and sally was warm and damp on my leg.

She giggled and just said ‘See you can’t keep secrets from me.’

‘You are awful Sally.’

‘Well I think it might help you when you are interrogated by the psychiatrist tomorrow. At least you can answer him honestly if he asks you if you’ve ever felt like a woman.’

I hit her but gently of course.

Next morning Mum and Julie were up early to ensure I didn’t miss my appointment with Dr Twomey. Mum just tapped on the door. ‘Come on you two lovebirds’

Sally and I sheepishly sneaked to the bathroom as soon as they went downstairs and then in a feeling of mad impulse we showered together. It was Sally’s idea not mine but I still felt wonderful so I didn’t need a second invitation.

Luckily mum and Julie kept their distance and it seemed obvious that they’d heard us the night before judging by mums comment and a few more little comments that were made over breakfast.

Julie was driving me to my appointment and she said that she’d wait for me. It was a good job she had a ‘sat nav’ or we’d never have found his office.

It was hidden down a small street and because this was an early appointment he answered the door himself. He was a kind Irishman with a ruddy complexion and didn’t look so austere as I had expected.

‘Come in Chris and take a seat for a few minutes. My secretary has just popped out and will register you when she gets back. I understand that you work for Kate Harper and that she recommended me.’

He seemed very nice and I felt relaxed and he never referred to me as Mr. Taylor as I’d expected. He had lived in England for about 30 years but still had a strong Cork accent and a devilish Irish smile.

His secretary was very nice too and she had a file prepared that she gave to me to pass to Dr Twomey. He made sure that I was comfortable and said ‘it’s Mr. Twomey and better still it’s Patrick. Now let me see what your Company doctor has said.’

As he was reading my notes he asked what had caused the sudden switch in identity from Chris to Christine. ‘I said it’s Chrissie really not Christine although I don’t mind.’

He asked me about my home life and my experiences growing up and we chatted for ages about what I’d found out recently about my real mum and the difficulties I’d had with Gran. He was intrigued that there was a connection between Kate and I through the relationship between her father and Aunt Judith, my real mum. He took a few notes but didn’t say anything.

Then he focused on how I felt living this ‘role’ as he called it and what reaction I’d had from my friends and family and from my work colleagues.

I told him that as Chris I hadn’t had many friends but since I’d become a woman I had already made a lot of friends.

I didn’t realize I’d said that until he picked me up on it and then we focused on my feelings and my interests and hobbies. I told him about my relationship with Sally and that brought questions about my sexual preferences and if I’d had other relationships.
I was with him for 1 hour and during all that time he just asked questions and I answered as honestly and openly as I could.

At the end of the consultation he said how pleased he was to meet me and he asked me to pass his complements to Kate.

I asked him if he’d be issuing a report and he said he would but when I asked if I’d be receiving a copy he was non committal.

‘Mr. Twomey do you need to see me again or is that it?’

‘Well Chrissy at the moment the Company is paying for the consultation so it’s very much up to them.’

‘But Mr. Twomey what do you think that I should do.’
‘Well Chrissy I have to say that you seem very stable and comfortable and much more than I expected but are you sure about what you are doing. Did you ever consider you might be better to just live as a man and dress occasionally for pleasure?’

‘No definitely not!!’

‘OK thanks we’ll be in touch.’

His last comment irritated me and when I got outside Julie asked me what was wrong. She calmed me down and said that he’d probably waited to catch me off guard and to see how I reacted. She just said that as far as she was concerned I was all girl and I’d better not change my mind because I was already booked as her chief bridesmaid.

‘What are you getting married?’

‘Well not straight away I’ll give you chance to let your hair grow first.’
She snapped me out of it as usual so by the time she dropped me off at the office I was focused on the weekend.

‘Any news from dad?’

‘I spoke to him whilst you were with the psychiatrist and he’s already arrived in York. He traveled up last night and he’s driving to the hotel this afternoon after his meetings.’
‘Good at least we are in with a chance of sorting them out.

I really hope that they are OK together since they had a lot to put up with over the years and we owe them a lot.’
‘They’ll be fine just you wait and see.

I think mum is really looking forward to see him whatever impression she’s tried to give. I think she’s a bit lonely and she’d be happy to have him around again for when we leave home.’

I had to agree with her and at times she acted just like my elder sister, especially these last two weeks as I was going through my learning curve.

She dropped me off and gave me a sisterly kiss. I wanted to hug her for the support she was providing but she knew how I felt and just said ‘Hurry up or you’ll be getting the sack. Then what will you do?’

When I arrived at the office I felt like I was walking on air. Shirley on reception had noticed and said that I looked nice. But then she always seemed to say that. I love her to bits for the way she starts off my days. Everybody needs a boost in the morning to make the rest of the day go well.

Kate was already involved in a meeting but she just waved and smiled as I let her know I was in. She asked me to make some coffees for her guests and it was obvious she hadn’t had her morning caffeine shot so that was the real reason as I smiled and served her first. I just whispered ‘Thanks’ and she smiled and said ‘You’re very welcome.’

Then she passed me a message that Jessica had called and to ring her back.

Mmm I hoped it wasn’t trouble for Sally so I called her straight away. Thank goodness that there was nothing to worry about.

Well at least on the face of it there wasn’t. I did hope so because I just felt like relaxing at the Spa and chilling out with a glass of wine. Not that Julies schedule allowed much time for that.

Jessica said she’d wanted to meet for lunch but since I was rushing home to change I had to decline. So she said she wanted to say thanks and that she was sorry to cause difficulties for me. She said that she was pleased that Sally had called and was hoping to make friends again over the weekend.

I hoped this was the nicer side of Jessica coming out again.

That was until she asked if I’d heard from James and if I fancied going back to Birmingham for a weekend. I got nervous at the thought of what she might say to Sally especially after she’d been jealous of my friendship with Kate.

Sally certainly had seemed to steer me away from developing any sort of relationship with James.

I just said ‘That would be nice but maybe another venue instead for a change’ that she accepted readily. I suggested Manchester because of the nightlife and that certainly exited her enough to distract her away from revisiting Brum.

Nothing much happened for the rest of the morning. I had my 20 minutes session with Kate but today she’d been more interested in what Mr. Twomey had said and to ensure that I felt OK after the previous nights tears. I was fine and I thanked her for the gifts.

The rest of the morning flew by and Anne called to wish me luck and Shirley shot out of her seat to hug me as I left. She was just like an Auntie to me now.

Even Stan the security guard seemed to know I was heading off for a weekend and wished me luck as he held the door open. Normally he wouldn’t speak to anybody so I was amazed.

When Julie arrived I must have had a smile from ear to ear because she said how wonderful I looked.

She inserted her Mamma Mia CD and selected a song. “Dancing Queen’. Then we were singing along and laughing as she exaggerated ‘She that girrrl’. We sang all the way home. ‘You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life.’

So two giggly schoolgirls arrived home full of excitement.

Mum was ready and had made a sandwich each for the three of us which was quickly devoured and we were then on our way with the music on high volume. Even mum was joining in.

It seemed to be just what she needed to stop her worrying. We had a one hour journey singing all the way.

We checked in using the vouchers and Julies credit card for mum. Julie and I were sharing a double room that they’d upgraded so it looked out over the lawns. It was massive and very luxurious. We had Spa gift sets and fluffy gowns and slippers in the room and lots of nice smellies.

‘Come on Sis get your bum in gear lets change and get down for a sauna and a dip in the pool before we start the treatments.’

‘But I can’t swim and I’m not sure since it means going into the changing rooms. What if I get caught?’

‘Come on you’ll be fine. You’re my sister and I’ll vouch for you if anyone says anything.’
Luckily the changing rooms were empty and there was a cubicle to change in that I used whilst I put on the bathing costume that Julie had loaned to me.

‘Wow you look fantastic sis. Where did they come from?

We showered before we went through to the pool and the sauna and I’d had to be very careful to hide my boy bits with the tight fitting costume.

As we walked past the pool we were giggling away and then all of a sudden I slipped and I must have banged my head as I fell and blacked out.

To be continued......

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 70 My Lois Lane debut

I can’t have been fully unconscious or maybe the shock of falling in the pool brought me straight around. The first person who came into focus was a complete stranger and then over his shoulder I saw Julie.

The stranger was the pool attendant who was placing a folded towel under my head and he put his finger up and asked if I could see it clearly and to follow it as he moved it sideways. I was wet from the shower and also because I’d fallen in the pool.

The man who was looking after me was the attendant who’d dived in as he saw me slip. I’d banged my head but luckily it was a glancing blow because I think I my bum must have hit the edge of pool first and then I fell in the water.

Julie was asking if I was OK and the attendant who was looking after me held me still until I was fully compus mentis.

I suddenly realized the predicament I was in laid in a wet bathing suit and fearful he’d realize that all was not as it seemed.

Julie saw my face and quickly put a towel over my lower tum area and smiled. She told me afterwards that I was looking really scared but nothing was obvious and I was relieved I’d taken care to use some adhesive tape.

It wasn’t very comfortable because I was still a little sore from the close shave that Julie had recommended. In fact Julie whispered to me as we were left in the care of a female attendant ‘Phew that was a close shave’

I sat for a few minutes sipping some warm water before it was considered safe to carry on so the girl. Melissa, who looked younger than both Julie and I suggested we use the Jacuzzi. She looked extremely well toned and bronzed so Julie asked if she’d been on vacation.

She said it was a spray tan in preparation for her sisters wedding so that set Julie off with another idea.

As we relaxed in the Jacuzzi we were soon giggling again. She teased me saying that I’d slipped on purpose to attract the lifesaver. She said I was just like a dying swan with no elegance at all so I was lucky he reacted. She then said I was as false as Lois Lane fainting so that superman would save her. Mmm not much chance to avoid being the butt of Julies jokes and I guess I liked it really since we were together as sisters that was great.

I noticed that a few more people had entered the pool area and most were women. It seemed a popular location for a nice weekend and I’d never have dreamed of doing it before.

What a nice life women have.

They focus more on the good things and taking care of themselves than men do and it was nice to feel I could join in. It was like being given temporary membership of an exclusive club to try it out.

Naturally Julie wanted to add the spray tan to the weekends agenda so she waved to Mellissa who came over. As they talked I looked at her and saw how fit and strong she was.

Her thighs were rock hard and she was obviously an athlete. She also looked as if she worked out with weights and had some muscle definition in her arms and shoulders. She made me feel weak by comparison.

Julie turned and said ‘Right that’s it, she’s going to arrange it for us so that will bring some color back to your cheeks and turn some heads.’

I was happy to follow but had to ask if I’d have to be fully naked.

‘No don’t be silly we get some small panties.’

We showered again and then moved to the sauna.

Julie said I looked pretty good in her bathing costume and that she was sure that I was growing into it. I wished I did fill it out a little bit more up top but I must admit my waist and bum seemed in proportion and I had wide enough hips to at least wear it and look feminine.

I looked down at myself and at my hairless legs that were softer now with the benefit of daily creams but I still felt I could be a little bit more in proportion.

I really wanted to increase my bust and lose another inch from my waistline if I could. I wished Sally was with us and that she could see me in the swimsuit to get her reaction.

In the sauna we chatted to two older women who were originally booked for the cancelled wedding but had decided to come anyway with their husbands who had gone off to play golf.

They were very nice and one remarked that it was obvious we were sisters and that she wished she’d had chance to do things like this with her sister when she was young.

The more I was in female company these days the more I was liking it. We chatted for 15 minutes to them until we were starting to look a bit overcooked so Julie dragged me outside and said ‘Right sis , ice pool.’

‘No way. No way and I let out a squeal.’ That made us both laugh since I didn’t normally squeal.

Anyway I did it and I think I came out faster than I went in. Julie looked at me and pointed to my lower tum. See that’s more effective than tape, ha ha. Next time you want to attract superman fall in there.’

‘Yes but my tongue is still normal size so …. there mmmnn.’

‘Come on lets pretty ourselves for tonight. We’ve just got time to shower before we visit the stylists.’

I had to be careful to shower in my costume but Julie just stripped naked and walked around proudly. ‘Julie please.’

‘What? Come on a lot of women walk around like this what’s wrong?’

‘You’re making me feel like a prude since I have to go into a cubicle to shower and to change.’

‘Well it’s up to you sissy dear. You’ll just have to decide if you are brave enough to join this club full time. HaHa if you know what I mean.

I was dressed quickly and came out of the cubicle to let another lady use it. Julie was not in any hurry and was combing her hair standing legs astride just in her panties. She was not so fit as Melissa but she’d been pretty good at sports activities at school and still played badminton and volleyball occasionally.

Then the two ladies from the sauna came in and just stripped off. I didn’t know where to look so I sat down and tried to keep eye contact with Julie. She could tell so she started talking to them again.

The slimmer one was called Julia and she just walked around like a model without any concern. She sat at the side of me and I didn’t know where to look. Wow she didn’t need a bra. She shook hands and I tried to make sure she had the stronger grip. ‘Oh you have soft hands. You should have a nice manicure. You obviously aren’t married and you must have a nice soft job to keep your hands like that.’

I’d never been told I had soft hands before and they aren’t very big.

‘Yes we have plans for a manicure and a pedicure next as part of our package.’

‘Well see us later for a drink and show us the results please. We might do that tomorrow if they have any space.’

Julie took an age. I think she was enjoying watching my reactions and my interchanges in this totally female environment away from anything male. She smiled a few times as the two ladies chatted and dressed and ensured that I joined in.

Naturally she told them I was a PA and so I was asked if I took shorthand and if he was a looker. They were teasing with Julies encouragement but I didn’t mind.

Well eventually we were ready so Julie said ‘Don’t panic sis, we have 5 minutes yet.’

‘Come on you know I don’t like to be late.’

So it was hair styling first.

There were two stylists and two juniors to help with the washing and we settled into the two sofas to chat about our style options.

Jackie, my stylist stood up and flicked through my hair lifting it a bit and checking the length.

‘I hope you don’t mind me saying this Chrissy but your hair needs some conditioning and some extra care products. It’s a bit out of condition.

It’s a bit of a masculine style. Is there some reason for that?’

To be continued……. coming soon....

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole

Chapter 71 The Salon

I looked at her and for a moment I didn’t quite know what to say. ‘Well I know this style is a bit butch because of the way I’ve grown up. I’ve just not really had much chance to be myself and try anything else.’

‘Mmm I thought that perhaps it was another reason. Your sister has a nice style so why not you?’

‘Well dad was always wanting to make me more of a rough and tumble type. He would have been happier if I was a boy. So this is my first chance to spoil myself and this weekend is a special treat to myself. It’s all because I was promoted at work.’

‘Really you lucky thing. I wish I could find a new job or a big promotion. Something to get me out of here. What do you do for a living?’

I was relieved to change the subject. My fear was she’d guessed her client had something to hide.

Julie glanced at me and smiled. Later she told me that the color disappeared from my face and then came back as if I was a thermometer being dipped in and out of fluid.

I just whispered to her not to say anything and she did a mock biting of her tongue and then turned to Kim, her stylist and asked if we could look at some styles in their catalogues and magazines.

‘Sure you can girls. Do you need any advice.’

‘Can we just look first please and maybe have a chat about it together?’

Then I answered Jackie’s question and started to tell her about my promotion but she was already distracted. I stuttered to a stop because I thought that she wasn’t interested in the answer.

She looked back at me and said ‘Do you mind me saying but with that hair style you are going to be sending out the wrong signals. I’m not sure that you could pass as a boy though unless you bulked up a bit. Is that what you and your dad want?’

‘No not at all. I hate this style.’

‘We don’t get much chance to be adventurous in this salon but we do freelance work that is more exiting with some regular clients. How far away do you live?’

‘We only live about 40 miles away.’

‘Oooh who is your regular stylist? They should be struck off. I know we can do a lot better. It’s as if they just cut it with some sheep shears. My God, how much do you pay? You should ask for your money back.’

I started to answer her question to tell her that I didn’t have a regular stylist when she said, ‘So what do you do then? Are you in advertising or sales or something?’

‘ Well I was a financial and administration officer and I was being trained for the Managers role’

‘My God didn’t they use any conditioner on your hair you’ve got loads of split ends. You need my special treatment and you should let me visit and do your hair for you at home. I don’t mind travelling 40 miles for the right price.’

‘Well I try to keep my hair in good condition with regular washing and a conditioner.’

‘So are you a boss then?’

‘Well I was supposed to take over as a department head but…’

‘God they must have had blunt shears and why didn’t they treat your hair or lift it and color it a bit?’

‘Well this is my natural color and…’

‘I had a chance to be a trainee secretary but I’d not really got the qualifications at school. That was just a waste of a few years for me and it interfered with my social life.’ I thought no way, I didn’t want to start work at 8-30 am. It was like being at school’

‘Really but you could have studied as well couldn’t you?’

‘ The best thing I can recommend is that we shave your head and start again.’

‘What?’

‘Look I can probably avoid that if you trust me but it’s up to you. First I recommend a nice cleansing treatment and then a super wash and some conditioner. It depends what style you want.’

I thought about a more modern style’

‘I did hate school because I was no good at anything. Except boys of course where I finished top of the class.’

‘So are you married then because you have a ring?’

This job is OK really ‘cos we get some quiet days and Kim and I can style each other’s hair.’ We get to use the facilities if it’s quiet and it’s not far to Leeds and Manchester for shopping.’

‘How about coffee girls. What is it Black or White?’ I’ll get Hazel to sort some out. Where has she gone?’

I had a gap to speak ‘Do you use the spray tan.’

‘Do you say this is your natural color. Surely not?’

‘Well I’m thinking of a change. I like your hair color do you think a lighter color would suit me?’

‘Did you two ever get to Manchester for nights out? It’s fantastic and we just love to get to Blackpool for 2 day binges. We get special discounts at one of our sister hotels.’

She then turned to Hazel who was a trainee and organized some brochures that she recommended me to look at and at the same time she was scanning her appointment book.

‘Just ring reception and say I’m OK tomorrow morning. I will start early at 10 am. Then don’t forget the coffee. Also I’m meeting the girls later so can you book a table for us at Antonio’s. ’

I was being ignored and I pinched myself to see if I was still there.

‘Jackie, what about my hair? Do you think I should change the color?’

‘No not really. What I think is that we need to find you a more modern feminine style and then we can do some color tones. We might streak it a bit and add some deeper color on top’
‘So you think I should have a different color then?’

‘Let’s look at you from the side. We’ll just put some tones in it so that it is lighter at the ends and then add some gentle streaks.’

I realized that I’d got a lot to learn to survive in this different world of female talk where the answers don’t come out straight away and where I have to be able to communicate multi-topic whilst multi tasking. Jackie was in her own world.

‘I thought that toning and lightening meant it was a different color. Isn’t it. Obviously I was wrong.’

Then she handed me two magazines and went off to see what happened to the coffees.

Julie was giggling because she said my face was a picture. I looked at her. ‘ I think I’m in a foreign land.’

She had opened a back issue of Cosmopolitan magazine for me and the other was Elle that showed the same style on a different model.

Julie looked and said she agreed that this was a style that would suit me.

Jackie was back. ‘What coffee did you want? Cappuccino or Latte or just black?

‘ I like Americano please.’

‘Sorry we only have these three options.’

‘OK I’ll have black please but Americano is black. Oh and what about a Cappuccino for my sister. Do you have milk? Is it instant coffee or filtered? How about de-café?.’

‘We aren’t Starbucks you know and I’m the stylist not the head brewer. OK black it is with milk.. Have you found a style you like. How about the one I selected’

‘ Yes this one here looks great. It’s called a Double Mocha Twist.’

‘Ha Ha what a co-incidence. We can do you a double Mocha twist with a side order of Americano with skinny fat milk and throw in a biscuit. How about that?’

So that was it we’d made a decision without even scanning the magazines and despite me not understanding how to speak in Salon language.

Now Jackie was exited and she picked up the magazine proud of her choice.

“I did this for another young customer about 2 weeks ago but afterwards but her mum was quite upset because it was the first time her daughter had short hair. I thought it really suited her but after getting into trouble I suppose I have to ask you. Are you sure?’

I didn’t have much choice since my hair wasn’t long enough for most styles. 'Yes I’m sure. I’m positive and I’ll follow your advice. '

‘Well Chrissie I know I can do this style on you because you’ve got the length at the back and I think your face is the right shape, just like the model. But she’s very elegant don’t you think’

‘Thanks.’ I didn’t know whether to take it as a complement or a slight insult. ‘Will it take you long do you think?’

‘Maybe you can carry this style. What do you think Kim’

They screwed their noses and shook their heads a bit and then they both agreed it was the right style for me.

‘You can’t rush these things Chrissy. Unless you want the boy cut again. First we have to get your hair into good condition. We will treat your hair and then wash it. I want to put in some highlights and darken it a bit at the top, It will be more of a creamy caramel color than a mocha really. You do realize I’ll be cropping it at the ends and it won’t be even. Very chic and you’ll turn all the heads.’

‘Oh I’m not sure then. I don’t like to be too conspicuous’

She ignored me again and I wondered if my voice was working so I coughed. ‘Hello, hello.’ Yes it was working fine.

‘Ok Chrissy, let’s get started.’

‘But really how long will it take because we have a few things to do before dinner tonight?’

‘Look my love, he’ll wait don’t you worry You’ll have his tongue hanging out after he’s seen you. He won’t want any dinner. But he’d better not spoil my handy work. Don’t worry Rome wasn’t built in one day you know. We are artists in this salon.’

‘But we have dinner booked tonight and it’s a very important meeting.’

‘Do you want to see him with your boy-cut then or shall I start the Mocha?’

Julie was sniggering. ‘We have enough time so get on with it. ‘We can leave our manicures and pedicures until tomorrow.

I drew a long breath. ‘OK please go for the Double Mocha Twist with the caramel topping and cream streaks but keep the same color as you suggest.’

I crossed my fingers on both hands and my legs and shook my head from side to side.
Kim said ‘take no notice she knows what she’s doing and she I sometimes in another world. She’s just trying to wind you up a bit’

In the meantime Julie had looked at several styles and since she was experienced in salons and pampering talk she’d selected a style that was similar to the one she had already but with a bit more body and she wanted to try to keep the shape.

I liked her existing style and she kept it in good condition. She said it was easy to manage and that was her first priority these days because of all the running around she had to do after me.

I blushed but she was teasing.

Magically through all this the coffees appeared. So we just had time for the first sips before we were wrapped in towels and capes ready for washing.

Julie said not to worry since she’d never actually finished a cup of coffee in a hair salon yet.

‘But I didn’t even start mine and I’m gasping.’

I think I connected with Kim because she passed me my cup and protected me whilst I managed two or three sips.

‘Thanks, now I know how my boss feels each morning. It’s nice coffee.’

‘Good but it is included in the bill so I do think you should have a taste at least before we lose you under the shampoo.

What a nice way to spend a Friday afternoon. I wondered what was happening at work and if I should call Kate to see if she needed me for anything. I was searching for my mobile in my handbag but that was as far as I got.

Julie looked across and as we disappeared from each other’s view I just thought how nice it was to spend this time together and to experience this other life.

These girls were really funny and it was like another world far better than life as a boy.

Julie reached out and squeezed my hand. ‘Let’s go for it Sis. We’ll knock ‘em dead.’
‘OK wake me when it’s all over please.’

‘No chance you have to savor every moment.’

So began two hours of hair pampering and non-stop entertainment that I’d never dreamed existed. It was so wonderful and to our surprise the manicurists arrived part way through and had arranged this with the salon.

They soaked our fingers and toes so the nails were in condition to carry out the treatment. I don’t suppose we looked very elegant and I was glad that there was nobody around that knew us.

I was relieved that my finger nails were in reasonable condition and I’d managed to grow them a little bit. I wasn’t sure about the toes and they were polite enough not to comment because it was probably obvious I’d never had them done before.

My finger nails did feel quite long but to the girls they were short so they asked if I wanted some extensions. I chickened out just in case I couldn’t go through with all this and had to decline the job that Kate offered me.

I chose a deep pink color of nail polish that Julie thought would look OK with the pale green dress I’d brought. ‘But I thought that pink and green should never be seen’

‘Come on Sis life has moved on a lot since the old days so they will suit your coloring especially after your spray tan. You won’t be white and pasty like now. You’ll look like you just came off the beach’

So the same color was selected for my toes even though I’d be wearing shoes and not sandals. I just wanted painted toes since I’d not had time to do them or even considered it. My feet looked really slim and feminine.

Eventually we were finished. Jackie and Kim had worked miracles with our hair. We were both delighted and Julie insisted they took a photograph of us because she said this was a big occasion that we should remember forever.

We were so pleased that we gave a big tip. I had slightly shorter hair but it was so modern and I felt very feminine.

‘Now then sis you will just have to accept the job now come Monday.’

I spun around and I did feel good. I wanted to see mum and dad to show them.

‘But can we have a spray tan now?’

‘Jackie interrupted ‘No chance it will spoil my hard work. Anyway you need 4 hours to completely dry and avoid damage to your clothes. You’d be better to do it tomorrow. We don’t want you slipping out of his hands tonight anyway do we?’

Julie looked across and said ‘Am I missing something. Who is the date you’ve brought along?’

We laughed and then agreed we would change the appointments to tomorrow.

‘Anyway we have to clean and prepare our skin and since we have some spare time now we can have another girly treat.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Just wait and see.’

‘Have we time to do the spray tan tomorrow?’

‘Yes we can leave mum and dad to themselves for as long as possible. Where are they? I’ll just send mum a text to let her know we are done. Sis you look great.’

‘Thanks sis so do you. But I hope dad thinks I look OK. I’m still not sure that he’s comfortable about me living and working like this. Hadn’t we better be sure he has arrived’

Julie just said ‘ I’m sure he’ll be here. He’s waited long enough for this chance.’

We sent a text to mum and sure enough she confirmed he had arrived and they’d met as planned. She was OK and they were walking around the grounds.

She sent a second message just saying. Feeling much better now so dinner is booked for 8pm and meeting at 7-30pm in the bar.

‘See that leaves us free for your next experience of this alternative life.’

‘Good what is it?’

‘I think we have time for the other bit of preparation for the spray tan.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Nothing much just a small tidy up.... How about a bikini wax?’

To be continued …………..

At last ‘A life’

By Julie D Cole
Chapter 72 Private moments

‘A Wax? …..no way. A bikini wax….forget it. I can’t possibly expose myself anyway, you know I can’t.’

‘Oh Chrissy you are chicken. Come on be brave. These girls see much more than you think. They see every type of person you can imagine and women have lots of different sizes of labia. We are no different to men. We come in all shapes and sizes.’

‘Yes but mine is not the same. My labia extends a bit.’

‘Come on sis it’s not so big to cause any real embarrassment. We just have to say you’re under treatment if they say anything. They won’t do more than make some polite references. If they do then just say you have a slight intersex problem.’

‘Julie, as wonderful as these experiences are I just feel this is one step too far.’

‘Well Sis I think you should know the good and the bad sides. It’s not all easy to be beautiful and attractive. Anyway I want to have it done since I’m thinking to take a week’s vacation with Gary in Spain and then I can wear my bikinis and feel sexy.’

‘OK if that’s your real reason I’ll come with you but I might just let her trim me a bit. At least I can try to keep myself hidden as much as possible.’

‘Come let’s do it then.’

‘Does the waxing hurt.’

‘No more than taking off a Band-Aid or removing the tape you’ve been using’

‘Yes that’s what worries me.’

So we then went back to the salon and this time another girl welcomed us who looked after waxing and the spray tanning.

Julie explained that we wanted to be exfoliated in preparation for the following days spray tan but we also both wanted to be trimmed. Then she asked if she could have the bikini wax but I just needed a shave.

She looked at me and said. ‘It doesn’t hurt and it lasts longer.’

‘I can’t. I just can’t. At least not yet. Maybe next time once I’ve had more experience.’

‘Well I can tell you most customers come back and they say it really turns their men on and it’s worth all the discomfort.’

‘But it’s coming to my time of the month and I wouldn’t want an accident.’

‘Oh in that case I understand.’

Julie hit my arm and laughed. ‘Where did you get excuse from you little madam.’

‘I don’t know but I felt at least she might take more care and keep her distance.’

We stripped and were given towels and dressing gowns and then Amy the girl who took on the tasks took us to a room where the exfoliation was done.

It was a bit early since this room was below ground level, almost as if it was a dungeon. The hotel was a former stately home but maybe this was a wine or meat cellar rather than a dungeon..

We lay side by side on two beds and Amy started with Julie and then treated me. Next we showered and then returned to the beds this time laying on our backs.

‘See that wasn’t so bad was it. She never looked too closely and she didn’t embarrass you.’

‘No but I didn’t like it. I was nervous in case it moved.’

‘Ha Ha it moves does it?’

‘No but it’s not dead you know.’

‘Oh in that case Sally had better take care then.’

‘Ohhhh Julie you are awful. You know what I mean.’

Well within a few minutes my ohhhh was nothing to the OHHHHH from Julie as Amy waxed her.

So now my turn to laugh.
She had tears in her eyes but she was really brave. I cringed and was amazed at what I was witnessing. It looked like torture.

Julie was laughing about it afterwards in the changing room and showed no embarrassment and she was proud to show me the result.

On the other hand I’d just had a trim and to be honest it wasn’t a big deal and quite the most expensive haircut I’d ever had.

Where do women find the money for these beauty treatments?

So that was it. Phase 1 complete for today so off to prepare ourselves.

As we passed through the large reception area I caught sight of mum and dad and Julie saw them at exactly the same moment. They were standing at the desk holding hands talking to the receptionist. It was a scene that I will never forget as long as I live.

At last mum and dad together again and I couldn’t ever recall them holding hands before.

They turned as if they sensed us looking at them and mum smiled with an approving look whilst dad just calmly coughed a little bit and then stepped forward to hug us both. Mum joined in. His eyes were full of tears as his emotion was released.

I felt the same way too since I couldn’t remember the last time we had a team hug like this before and the nicest thing of all was that I didn’t need to worry about letting tears flow.

Julie was the one to break first recognizing that we were ‘centre stage’ and she said should we sit down and move away from the front desk area.

Dad made a special fuss of me and looked me up and down shaking his head in disbelief. ‘Chris you just look so wonderful. I can’t believe my eyes. Have you both had a good time?’

We settled into the sofas next to a large fireplace that had logs burning even though the weather was quite mild. The crackle of the flames and the smell of the wood gave a nice welcoming feeling to guests and I could imagine what it must have been like to return from a morning walk as the daughter of the owner of such a large house.

Mum and dad said they had talked for 2 hours non- stop and after they met they had afternoon tea together followed by a walk around the gardens. Mum looked 10 years younger than earlier in the day and was wearing trousers that was very rare. Maybe it was her smile that made her appear younger.

Then dad asked how I was doing and if I was getting on OK in my new job. He asked about Kate and told me that he’d enjoyed meeting us both and thanked me for arranging things with mum. She was holding his hand again and I noticed that she’d put on her wedding ring that had been in her jewelry case for as long as I could remember.

He said he’d confirmed a quiet table for dinner and insisted that we meet for drinks and if mum didn’t mind he’d like to order some champagne to celebrate the family coming back together. Julie squeezed up close to him and gave him a hug.

They were always very special together and I’d often wanted to receive the same attention. Now I wasn’t sure if the situation would be even worse since I felt dad might be embarrassed about me.

Mum obviously noticed and moved to my side and put her arm around my waist.

She whispered ‘I think your hair looks really nice. It really suits you.’

‘Thanks mum I think we were so lucky to find this place and to have time to relax and choose a style together.

Julie was very kind and the two girls who looked after us were very funny. It has been great so far and we’re having a spray tan tomorrow.’

Mum shook her head in disbelief. ‘Chris who would have thought that we could all be together like this when we look back 3 weeks? I think you have grown up and I’m so proud of you. How do you feel’

‘Thanks mum. It is still like a dream and I keep pinching myself.’

‘Are you happy?’

‘Yes I think so but I’ve realized that it’s like being trapped between floors on a lift’
‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I’m half way to where I want to be but I feel stuck and a little bit out of place as if I have to exit on the ladies floor and I might not be accepted. I have been feeling that the safest option might be to turn back.’

'But you are so natural as a woman.’

‘Mum when I was in the waxing room with Julie I was uncomfortable. It was like I was an intruder even though I was made very welcome.’

‘But most women will feel like that when they enter those surroundings for the first time.’

‘Well maybe but I am still not so sure.’

Then dad intervened. ‘look Chris I just want you to know that I’ve never seen you look so nice in all my life and that what you have done is very brave. I think this was meant to be and I also think that you are the sweetest daughter a man could ever wish to have, your sister included. You are truly a daughter that your mum would have been very proud of.’

I burst into tears and headed for the bathroom as fast as I could.

I entered the first cubicle and closed and locked the door. Julie was only seconds behind me and tried to open it.

‘Chris, are you OK. Please Chris don’t be upset. This is our chance to be together as a family. Our first chance to be sisters with mum and dad together and I love you so much.’

I couldn’t speak and the tears were none stop as I thought of the sadness surrounding my real mums tragic end to her life and how I’d never met her and never had chance to know her. Why is life so cruel and why did my family have to go through this pain.

Why had Gran been so upset all her life that made her so unhappy that we had no connection? Why didn’t Kate’s dad stay faithful to my real mum?

Then I thought of dad and how he’d stood by us all and how kind and loyal mum had been and the kindness she always showed.

‘Julie please leave me for a few moments. I just need some time.’

‘Come on sis, the world is waiting for you and your family is waiting for you. Let’s go get ready and show mum and dad a good time and how great it is to have the best looking two daughters on the planet.’

‘OK…but you are the best and without you I couldn’t do all this.’

It took at least 5 minutes to dry my eyes and tidy my make-up and mum arrived to check on us. She didn’t stay when she saw us hugging and went back to sit with dad.

When we went back to the sofas some hot tea had arrived together with my favorite ginger biscuits. Dad had remembered. He stood up and held me then he did the strangest thing and kissed me on both cheeks and then on the lips.

‘Thanks dad, I love you.’

‘Come on let’s have some tea and I’ll tell you all what I was doing in York.’

To be continued……..

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 73 Family together at last

I sat next to Julie as she poured the tea. Dad said he was very happy and that mum and he had had a nice afternoon together and he hoped we had too.

‘So come on dad what’s the mystery of York?’

We had to be patient whilst he stirred his tea and then he couldn’t resist to dunk his ginger biscuit in it because he knew mum would say something since she always told us not to do it. He was right she did. It was a good sign that they had become friends again. It was a big relief.

‘Well I’ve been for a seminar but I also met with our Managing Director last night because we’ve had some cut backs at work and he told me that I’m vulnerable if I stay in London. So he wants me to move back to Yorkshire and develop some new clients with him North East. It’s really a promotion but without any salary increase. ‘

‘So what’s the problem? It’s a great chance isn’t it?’

‘Well to be honest there is no problem. It fits what I want to do that is to be closer to you three. There is no allowance to move home and I’d only get minimal expenses paid. But that’s not a problem since I’d rather be safe and not argue’

Julie was first to comment ’So you’ll be back home to Yorkshire just like me.’

‘Yep, I will, the prodigal old dad returns home to his roots.’

It was my chance to intervene. ‘Dad that’s fantastic news. It’s a great chance for you and we can see you because you’ll be closer to home.’

‘Yes that’s exactly what your mum said earlier. I’m glad to say it’s made my decision much easier by having this chance for us to get together this weekend. I think we all have a lot of lost time to make up.’

‘Oh dad did you tell them you accept?’

‘Not yet because I wanted to tell you all first so I will call my boss before dinner since he knows we are meeting up. I wanted to see what you all think and to make sure that you are OK Chris. You’re more important than my job right now and I want to ensure that you don’t have any problems. If so I’ll be there with you rest assured.’

I couldn’t swallow my ginger biscuit because of the massive lump in my throat.

‘Thanks dad I will be fine. I never expected to be in this situation a few weeks ago but this is me I’m sure. I’m sorry to bring extra pressure to you.’

‘Chris you look really nice today and maybe we made a mistake all those years ago. I shouldn’t have discouraged you from being who you are but I did want you to at least try to be a man.’

‘Dad I tried my best to be the boy you wanted to be but it didn’t feel right. I’ve been really unhappy with myself for a long time because I didn’t live up to your expectations but recently it feels like life has a meaning. I’ve got to thank Jules and mum for accepting the situation and Sally for being my best friend.’

Dad asked about Sally and was trying to understand our relationship but I couldn’t explain it very well.

‘They are more than friends dad, they are joined at the hip.’

‘Sis that’s not fair because Sally needed me and I guess during that first weekend together I needed her much more than I realized. She made me feel like I natural woman.’

‘Yes but sometimes you are like two little doves cooing.’

‘No we are not. We just have similar tastes and share likes and dislikes.’

‘Yes you both like to look at each other and taste each others lipsticks. HaHa.’

‘Sis that’s not fair, I just like her a lot and I hope she likes me.’

‘I think you are great together and l think it’s much safer to have a friendship at home with Sally than to be trecking back and forth to see James in Birmingham. He might not be as loyal as Sally.’

‘It’s not like I’ve known her for that long.’

‘Yes but I can tell you are made for each other, just believe me. As her confidence grows you will soon be chasing around after her.’

Dad chipped in again ‘So are you two going to stay friends?’

‘I hope so since she needs someone to take care of her right now and she has accepted me totally so I have been open with her.’

‘Chris your mum says that you share your room together so does that mean? …. You know…’
‘What? … Does that mean what?’

‘That you have a more serious relationship going that involves more.’

‘Dad we sleep together but a lot of girls do…... Well what I mean is that it’s like we are two girls.’

Julie chipped in ‘ Two girls in love dad…they are two girls in love.’

Mum was sitting quiet and she reached across and took hold of my hand.

‘Look Chris you haven’t known Sally that long so just take your time. You have to adjust so don’t try to take on too much. You’ve got a lot of changes going on and you still need to focus on your job and you have to concentrate on that.’

‘I know mum and I’ve been lucky to get this chance. Really it’s all because of Kate. She just appeared on the scene and had lost her PA as I walked around the corner.’
‘I thought you met in the lift.’

‘I didn’t mean it literally Sis, you know what I meant.’

‘HaHa yes. But I still think there is more to her than meets the eye. There is just something doesn’t ring true.’

‘Dad you know her dad so is there something we are all missing here?’

‘Don’t bring me into it. I take people as I find them and Kate looked very capable and confident. She seems to have a lot of her dad in her.’

‘Well maybe you don’t know that she’s looked after her niece at work who gave Chrissy a hard time. She seemed weird to me until we found out she had a mental problem.’

‘Jules she doesn’t have a mental problem she has a personality disorder and she’s learning to cope with it with Kates help.’

‘So who is this niece then?’

‘She’s called Jessica and she’s the daughter of Kates sister. She was illegitimate and given up for adoption.’

‘You mean she’s Kates daughter don’t you?’

I chipped in ‘No she’s Kates niece. Definitely.’

‘But the Harpers had two sons and a daughter from my recollection. I know that Darren didn’t say too much to anybody and he just disappeared and moved to the North West. We had quite a bit of contact after you were born and Judith died but when they moved we never heard much until he called me at work after mum and I had been having problems.’

‘Did he move because of his job?’

‘I’m not sure since but I heard he was having some problems at home. I didn’t have any direct contact by then so it was just gossip as far as I was concerned. Family business needs to stay inside the family just like with us here.’

‘Dad I told Chrissy that something was wrong when I traced Kates dad on the internet through his university. I’m sure it is to do with Jessica’

‘Well what does it matter? It’s another families business and it’s history anyway. We should respect their privacy’

‘But dad how can Jessica be Kates niece? How can Kate have a sister so she must be the mother. But she’s too young.’

I had to intervene. ‘Julie what if Kate wasn’t born a woman and that she’d been mistaken for a boy because of some confusion?’

‘What you mean. Are you saying that she was a boy and that she changed sex? But she’s all woman.’

‘But some people are intersex or have birth defects that used to make it a bit difficult.’

‘Chrissy you know something don’t you? Is that it that Kate was born a boy? Is that the other family problem that Darren Harper had?’

‘Well I suppose that could be a good enough reason. Can you imagine the gossip? His daughter had a baby whilst at school to a creep and one of his sons was born with a sex defect and was really a girl. Wouldn’t you move too?’

‘Maybe. I would have.’

Mum spoke out. ‘Look girls these things are nothing to be ashamed of. All families have problems at some time or other. We are only human beings.’

I thought how wonderful it was to here mum say ‘Look girls.’ I liked it.

I didn’t say anything else about what Kate had told me and Julie respected the privacy. So I’d honored my promise to Kate.

I was pleased then that mum said we shouldn’t gossip about it and we should respect Kates situation and if we could respect other peoples privacy then they would hopefully respect ours.

Even though it had been a chance for the information to come out naturally in conversation somehow I couldn’t see Julie accepting that advice though and maybe the interrogation lamp would be switched on later.

So Dad brought us back to the discussion we were having.

’Chris I wish I’d let your mum have her way to let you behave as you wished and then maybe our marriage wouldn’t have suffered. Mum had enough to cope with through her mum being so upset with herself and feeling guilty about Judiths death.’

Life is full of twists and turns and we all make mistakes. The question is how we respond and to try to turn negatives into positives as often as we can. So through all of these changes Chris I do hope that you are happier. You look it.’

‘Dad I’m fine, I’ve never been happier than I am just now even though Julie has scared the pants off me with what’s ahead of me.’

‘What has she been saying, is there a problem.’

‘No I mean her threats of waxing.’

We laughed together as I frowned and shook my head.

‘But Chris, it’s a big decision you are making and I must say I’m amazed how you’ve turned out. I now have two very beautiful daughters to spoil now. Be sure that if this is what you want then I’m there for you.’

‘Dad please don’t make me cry again.’

‘OK let’s not get too sloppy and let’s all make a pact together to have some family time like this regularly and be open about our feelings.’ Mum was nodding her head. It was the sort of statement she would have made.

She had been very quiet but then she spoke.’Chris you know that I’ve been supportive of you because to be honest there has always been a bit of a doubt about your sexuality right from being a small child. You were so cute as a baby that a lot of our friends thought you were a girl. Some mums at the clinics were jealous because their daughters were not so beautiful as you.’

Jules cut in ‘What about me mum? Was I beautiful too? ‘

‘Of course you were.’

We chatted on and settled back on the sofas but dad was conscious of the time and knew that the three of us would want to get ready. So he gave a gentle reminder by tapping his watch.

‘Why don’t we carry on chatting over dinner so you girls have some time to prepare. I need to make a couple of telephone calls and I’ll be waiting in the bar over there at 7-30pm. The champagne will be on ice.

To be continued……….

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 74 Family Dinner

Julie and I left mum and dad and went to prepare for dinner. I thought it was a simple matter of changing our clothes and freshening up a little bit but then I realized we had to try on different outfits that we’d brought along and hung in the closet.

I tried on two of Julies along the way and a skirt and top that Kate had put in her bag of goodies.

I didn’t feel right in the pink and green one that I’d brought, and Julie suggested I save the little black dress she’d brought until tomorrow evening. So I settled for Kate’s cream skirt with a very nice fuscia colored top.

The skirt was fitted and I liked it because it was to the knee and showed how shapely my legs were. Mmm not much chance for Chris to enjoy dressing like this in boring trousers and shirts.

What a great feeling that was to try different outfits and try to find one to fit the mood of the evening.

Julie wasn’t so adventurous because she said she didn’t want to always upstage me. I smiled and hit her playfully. She selected some black evening trousers and a silky blue top that really suited her.

It made her appear taller and elegant and she was wearing higher heels than she normally wears. She said it was so that she could look down on me. Really we were about the same height.

When we arrived in the bar dad he complemented us. He was already waiting with a champagne bucket and four glasses and he’d arranged for a small table with the barman so we could sit away from the other pre-dinner guests.

Then mum entered.

She looked absolutely wonderful. It was a long time since we’d seen her dressed to go out so we were only used to seeing her in day clothes.

A tear came to my eye as dad put his arm around her waist and kissed her. Could they come back together again and be happy? I was determined to help them as much as I could.
Julie insisted to take some photos of both of them and then got the waiter to shoot the four of us drinking champagne.

He was happy to fuss around Julie who has a skill at appearing helpless and I watched and admired her techniques as she managed to get some canapés and he was back and forth ensuring we were all comfortable.

He found us a nice quiet table and recommended some special items from the menu. He was fussing all the time as she fluttered her eyelids and winked at me. ‘This is how to get special attention.’

We had a really nice dinner together and time was flying. We chatted about mum and dad’s memories of good times together before and after they were married.

But no mention of Judith or Darren Harper. They were also laughing about some of their experiences when they took Julie and I on vacation and I recalled some of them but they were not so funny for me.

The trouble was that all I could think about was how I had been there as Chris and I wished I could go back again to re-live them as Chrissy.

I’d been too quiet and shy and I’m sure that Julie and would have had a lot more fun together.

We got a little bit tipsy as the evening progressed probably due the champagne and then the free glass of wine as we sat down followed by the bottle of wine that followed with dinner.

So Mum was starting to slur her speech.

She couldn’t get the words out properly so we were all laughing. Then she stood up and shook her head a little bit to focus on us and managed to speak whilst rocking a little bit.

‘I want to make a toast to my dear sister, my greatest friend and the most beautiful woman you could wish to meet and to our wonderful times together and the special memories. But especially to the very special gift she left behind. A toast to her gorgeous daughter Chrissy who has always been the apple of my eye and who is now like a butterfly who has suddenly appeared from its chrysalis.So to Judy and to my new sweet daughter who has brought her back to life for me these last two weeks.’

I didn’t know what to say as they all pointed their glasses to me. Dad said ‘Come on Chrissy this is a toast to you and to Judith a truly wonderful girl who would have loved you to bits.’

With tear filled eyes I joined the toast and then we hugged each other as never before. I felt like I was fully accepted as Chrissy and now if I wanted to cry and show my emotions then there was nothing to worry about.

I did want to cry but only because I was so happy.

But at that moment I had to sit down because a strange feeling came over me. I felt a little bit dizzy and then I was tingling with a really nice shivering sensation passing down my spine and through my legs to my knees.

It was such a nice feeling that I didn’t want it to stop.

I felt a tingling in my finger tips and I thought OMG maybe this is a blood pressure problem and maybe I’m having a heart attack or soething.

My head felt light but the tingling sensation in my legs was still there and I didn’t want it to stop. Each second felt like a minute and thoughts about the last 2 weeks strange experience flashed through my mind.

I closed my eyes for a moment and could picture Gran smiling at me and then in her hospital bed. I wondered how she was recovering and if she could manage without mum.

She’d changed a lot towards Julie and I after she saw me as Chrissy and I needed to go back to see her again after the weekend.

I thought about Jessica and some of the cruel things she’d said to me and then how she gave me a ring to wear and then how nice she’d been when I asked if Sally could stay with her this weekend.

I could picture Kate with her father Darren Harper and the expression on dads face when I met him in Manchester.

I thought about James and the feeling I’d had when he danced with me. Then the fear when his girlfriend through water over me and called me a bitch. Everything was like a rewind being played fast forward. I laughed at the thought of the angry wicked witch who probably was still controlling James life.

Julie held my hand and squeezed it and I opened my eyes. The tingling stopped and I was sad when it did. I had so enjoyed it.

What a range of experiences I’d had over the last 2 weeks. Mostly highs with some lows and yet I’d come through it all and I felt really happy. I think the new job and my relationship with Kate had made me comfortable and a lot more confident and I wondered if she’d known about me in advance and engineered the whole thing.

But too many things had happened to be co-incidences. I would have been happy to believe that she had arranged all this but then I thought it wasn’t possible that she knew about my history or my latent femininity.

As I’d gotten to know her I wanted her to be a friend as well as a boss. I wanted to be as beautiful as she is. I really liked her a lot. I wished I’d known her in my teens and I wished we’d have been girlfriends.

Julie squeezed again. ‘Chrissy come back what’s wrong with you? Are you still with us?’

I said I was sorry but I was so happy that I was floating. Maybe this was my one chance in life to change everything and forget my past life as Chris and relax and be happy.

After all my family had come back together and we were having such a nice time together. I felt I was a sister to Julie and not her boring brother who couldn’t relate to her.

She’d never have hugged me and I’d never have dreamed of telling her anything about my life.

I wanted to keep close to each of them and support them as they were supporting me. I wanted mum and dad to get together again and for Julie to be married and yet I still wanted her to be with me as sisters at home to enjoy what we’d missed.

How could anybody have had more support than I’d and why? I’d not done anything to deserve it except to try to be a new and friendlier person. But that had come naturally and I’d found Kate and Sally and had a better relationship with the girls at work.

It made me feel as if this was meant to be.

I managed to get dad to fill our glasses with the last of the wine and I stood up nervously to make a toast to them. It felt like I had the whole room listening as I looked around because it was quiet. I tried to make my voice as soft as possible.

‘To my family who I love to pieces. Who have supported me and cared for me and brought me to this point of my life. I want you to know that you’ve made me happier today than I’ve ever been and just how much I love you.’

Julie smiled and I suspected she was going to make a joke but I wanted to be serious for a moment so I stopped her and then carried on.

‘Please no Jules, I’m not being mushy and sentimental. I like this new life that you’ve helped bring to me and I will value forever the support and encouragement I’ve had. Without each of you I wouldn’t be standing here like this and without each of you in my life I wouldn’t want to carry on. ’

‘Mum smiled up at me and her lips were quivering like mine. ‘I think I know what I want to do from here onwards so please stay faithful to me. Help me to be the daughter and sister that you can be proud of but particularly that Aunt Judith, or mum Judith, would have been proud of. ‘

As we finished the toast it felt like the whole dining room were watching and if this was an American movie they’d all have been clapping by now and a band would have appeared in the background. But it was real life and here I was hugging my family. It was a magic moment.

Then the friendly waiter who Julie had twisted around her finger all evening touched my arm and passed me a single red rose with a note so we stopped. I opened the envelope and read the card.

‘To Chrissy. Will you spend the rest of your life with me because I love you so much Have a great weekend.’

I asked the waiter who sent it to me and he replied ‘It arrived this afternoon so your mum and dad asked me to bring it to you after dinner.’

‘Oh, thanks, it’s a nice surprise but no signature’

‘Well that’s the gift but I also have a message. There is a lady in reception who says it’s urgent that she speaks to you.’

I picked up my bag and walked to the doorway with Julie at my side.

‘Kate.What are you doing here. Oh have you sent this rose to me?’

No Chrissy I didn’t, I don’t know what it is. I’m sorry to disturb you all but I had to come and find you.I didn’t want to just call.’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Chrissy I’ve just come from Leeds General Infirmary. There’s been an car accident.

Jessica and two friends were involved that is why the police contacted me. I was just leaving work’

‘Oh Kate I’m so sorry is Jessica OK.’

‘She is hurt but not too badly. But Chrissy there’s more. It’s not just about Jessica. Sally and Mary Jo were with her and it was a bad accident. Sally was crying out for you so I drove here as fast as I could.’

‘Oh my God no.’

To be continued……

At last ‘A life’
By Julie D Cole
Chapter 75 Final Chapter.

I didn’t know what else to say except ‘What happened, what’s wrong, why are you here?’

‘Chrissy I’m sorry but Jessica, Sally and Mary Jo were on the way to a restaurant and they were involved in an accident on the motorway. A van was speeding to try to overtake them and seems to have hit them and knocked them into another vehicle and then they skidded out of control and ended up in the ditch.’

‘My God. Are the badly hurt?’

‘They are all injured and we don’t know how badly Sally is hurt just yet because she is unconscious. The medics said she kept trying to wake up and she was reaching out and calling your name.’

‘Was she badly hurt?’

‘Not really she took a bang on the head on the window and had a few cuts and bruises according to the doctor but they are frightened in case there is any internal hemorrhage. She was stable when I left and I didn’t get any messages so far. Do you want to come back with me to see her?’

‘Yes of course. ‘What about Jessica and Sally?’.

‘Jessica has bad cuts and bruises and she’s been able to tell the police what happened. Mary Jo had to be cut out of the car and has a broken leg and some bruised ribs. It’s a good job the air bags worked or they would both have been much worse.’

‘But Sally, what about Sally?’

‘As I say she was unconscious when I left but we have to wait.’

‘But she woke up didn’t she. Isn’t that what you said?’

‘Yes but not for long and she seems to be badly concused. They don’t know if she has head and neck injuries so they were taking great care as I left.’

‘Who is with her. Is anybody with her. She’ll be frightened out of her skin ‘

‘She doesn’t know much about it at the moment and it’s too early to say anything. The doctor asked me to notify her family but I don’t have any details. They want to know if you know.’

‘Well I have a number for her mother just in case. I should call her.’

I went to a quiet corner and by now mum, dad and Julie were close by talking to Kate.
It was the most difficult phone call I ever had to make. Much more difficult than discussing my own problems that I realized were nothing compared to a daughter who has been in an accident and may be badly injured or worse. Her mum was shocked and upset so I managed to calm her.

Then she asked who I was.

“I’m Chrissy Taylor, her girlfriend. We live together and I love her more than anything.’
She was calm enough to say she’d make arrangements with her brother to travel immediately to the hospital and I agreed to text the details after I talked to Kate.

Julie came over and said ‘Come on sis, we have to be strong and we have to be optimistic. I’m coming with you.’

‘But Jules, I love her and I was just beginning to sort my life out. Now this.’

‘Come on Chrissy we have to go help her. She needs you. Be strong for her.’

‘Oh Jules why didn’t I bring her with us?’

‘Come on Kate is going to take us since I can’t drive because of the wine.’

That journey was the longest in my life and I sat in the back of Kate’s car with Julie holding my hand. I looked up at the stars and just said a quiet prayer asking for forgiveness for being different and asking not to be punished anymore.’

Kate got us there in no time and we arrived at A&E to find it full of people. Then Kate saw one of the nurses and she took us through to a waiting area that was away from the main waiting area.
The doctor was very nice but had no news other than she was stable and there was nothing external to be concerned about. ‘Are you family or a friend?’

‘I’m Chrissy Taylor her best friend. We live together. We love each other.’

Quite why I said that I’ll never know but I didn’t care what people thought. I just wanted Sally to recover. I told him that her mum was on the way but it would be a few hours.
I asked if I could see her.

I went alone and knelt at the side of her bed. I held her hand but there was no grip and no sign of consciousness. She looked peaceful.

I prayed again and then I started to talk to her. I told her that I loved her and that I would take care of her forever and that I was sorry for all the wrong things I’d done in my life. I told her that she had to wake up and that she mustn’t leave me or I could never have the life that I wanted. I wanted that life so badly but I’d give it all up for her if only she’d come back to me.

I closed my eyes and squeezed her hand trying to massage some life into her.

A nurse came in to check the monitors and insisted I sit in the chair at the side of the bed. She asked if I wanted to stay with her and if I needed some tea. I just nodded.
I was still hanging on massaging her hand when Julie and Kate came into the room.

‘Mum and dad came through. They were worried about you sis.’

‘Oh that’s kind of them.’

‘Dad’s told me to give you a message and says they’ll be waiting for you.’

‘Was that his message?’

‘No he said something about going back to London.’

‘Oh no why?’

‘He said he has to pick up his things so he can move back home. Back with us’

‘Oh Jules that’s great news. Sally did you hear that dad’s coming home.’

I wished she could have heard for herself.

Kate came in and asked if I was OK.

I thought a bit and I looked at her. I wish we could have met before. She was the best boss in the world and I had really felt different working with her. She had given me confidence in myself.

I just thanked her for her kindness to me and particularly for her kindness in looking after me and offering me a job.

'But Kate I'm sorry I don't think I can accept.'

'Why Chrissy you are crazy to miss this chance?'

'Kate, I have just given a promise to God that I’d give up theses notion of living as a woman and deceiving people in exchange for his help. I want him to bring Sally back so I can take care of her. My real mum died because of me and I can't let Sally die because of me. I have to change back.'

I was crying and I looked down to the floor.

Then I felt a movement as Sally squeezed my hand. I turned as she opened her eyes and said ‘No Chrissy no. Please for me. You have to carry on.’

As I looked into her eyes she smiled faintly.

‘Oh Sally Oh Sally I love you. You woke up. Nurse, Nurse.’

Then she pulled my arm gently so she could whisper to me.

‘Chrissy I love you as you are. You are Chrissy or you are Chris. You are one person and I love you as you are now. Please don’t change we have a life together.’

‘Oh Sally you’re back. Sally thanks to God. Thanks for coming back to me. Sally I promise that we will have a wonderful life together.'

'At last a life……. for both of us.’

Sadly not to be continued…….

The End.
Sorry it dragged so long for the less patient readers and the ones who don’t care for too much romance.

For those who supported and encouraged me I owe you more than you know. I dedicate it to you and since I liked to write this story now I want to do more.

Julie D Cole

Yesterday
By Julie D. Cole
[thanks to the Beatles]

Yesterday,
My new life had seemed so far away,
Now I’m glad that it is here to stay,
Oh, how I worried - Yesterday.

Suddenly,
I'm not the man, I used to be,
Now there's just his shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday he went suddenly.

Why he
Had to go I don't know, I couldn't say.
he did,
Nothing wrong, but that was yesterday.

Yesterday,
my life was not an easy game to play,
I always needed a place to hide away,
Oh, how sad I was, but that was yesterday.

Why he
Had to go I don't know, I couldn't say.
He did,
Nothing wrong, but that was yesterday.

Yesterday,
My life was not an easy game to play,
Now I don’t need a place to hide away,
I’m glad I changed,
Goodbye yesterday.

 
* * * * *
 
Based on Yesterday
words and music
by John Lennon and
Paul McCartney