A Midwinter Night's Dream
Act I, Scene I (Sorry dears, there isn't any more)
By Anne Hathaway Tierney

Here standeth I, yea and forsooth
on the verge of bedding the love of my youth,
who knowest all about me, yea, even my name
for Clarence and Clare are one and the same.
Born one score and one summer ago;
I am a boy, and yet a girl as thou well mayest know.

Issued forth yet alone from my father and mother;
I have no siblings; no sister, no brother,
Their own parents passed after four score
with offspring whom they had come to adore.

Matthew and Ardela had met one night.
E'en tho they were young it was love at first sight.
He was five and played football in school,
and she cheered him on; (takest I thee a fool!)
While no child of those ages sport will play
Yet in my story how ever I may
write anachronistic babble.
(This story mayest plod being hardly a drabble.)

Then dear Henry and his helpmeet Mary Anne
begat a young lad, Calvin...hardly a man.
He played games and other things as well
He loved to play as a girl doth, I had heard tell.

As our parents acquaintances made in haste,
I hardly had thought of him, I being so chaste.
But I took an immediate shine to him as some say
Having yet my first erection ere that day.

When he questioned my garb, "Why?” Said he,
"Wearest girls' clothes when it be plain for all to see
that thou art a boy, albeit fey?”
noting my brevity of stature save one bit ere that day.
“I am a girl,” says I, “you must know even as you yet stare;
I was born Clarence, but thou mayest call me Clare.”
Expecting horror upon his countenance I weep
When ere a look of acceptance across his face did creep.

“What sayest the GOOD BOOK regarding such a claim
that this boy prefereth not to be a man but a dame?”
Said his father with such love like no other,
save for the woman he married, Cal's mother.

"That Clare is GOD’S CHILD like me.
Ere he truly believeth that he is a she?
I am to accept him as a maid.
Be he a stone fox or be he yet staid?”
“Do you, son?” asked his father,“Yes,
verily Daddy. I love him, I really love him,” he did confess.

He hugged his son. "Yea and well said.
“A CHILD OF GOD!” spake he as he patted his head.

“Sweet child, have a care," said his mother... "I yet fear!
Our dear sweet daughter Isabella died last year.”
"Why?” asked I with a start like no other.
"She was like you, Clare. She was my brother
There were people who killed her for that sin;
Being different,” said Calvin as his hug drew me in!

“Those OTHER CHRISTIANS, that gang oh so mean
Killed her for her sin; she died at the scene.
Abused and tortured for being a boy,
Her death caused them no small joy
They saw her as folly as twisted;confused
and deserving of rape, she was abused!”

“But that's folly itself”, said the narrator, “Oh hell
A stereotype and a false notion as well.
People are raped by evil men who hate,
being a girl sealest not that fate, nor a boy
for they take pleasure no matter with joy!
“Wearing a dress meanest nothing I say e'en though
this foolishness is repeated day after day
by well-meaning souls by heck, perpetuating
These tales, these myths, this drek!”

(The reader was astonished, as yet once again
He cast the story aside and then
turned to the author as if in a scene.)
“Pardon me if I seem very mean?
You know not of what you speak, yes?"
“You got me; I knowest this not at all, " he did confess!”

“Yet thou art publishing ere yet again with
sight of this drivel ne'er coming to an end,
You continue to display swagger and pluck
yet I fear they enow be ne'er enough!
(What the fuck?)

“Your tales ere I surmise are
bereft of gravitas, left with mere size;
of fluff, of lint; since you choose not to borrow
any idea of sense, we'll see yet another tomorrow!”

So we ere now return to our drama at hand;
“The plays the thing,” thou mayest demand
but the tale went on and progressed to romance!
As Calvin and I enjoyed our dance
and he proposed to me then. I surely accepted.
As all who read may believe, present company excepted.

After the dance, I do now confess
I chose, albeit with fear to address
that which Calvin himself considered a mess!
So the following fortnight I had SRS
with much doubt. Thou mayest call me a fool,
but een' in now in a dress I miss my tool.

So, from a boy to a maid
to a woman, Yea it be true
my story and yours? Oh hearken, please do,
to be a SPECIAL GIRL, it workest now.
Workest even indeed also for thou?

The story will be broadcast both far and wide
Every site where thou goest thou mayest ne'er hide.
Another tale will arrive promptly
on the morrow, thou having no luck
And thou mayest speak yet again with aplomb,
"What the fuck?”

De skal passe pá¥, hvad de á¸nsker!

(Be Careful What You Wish for!)

Mand discovers the newness of life as he always imagined it...or so it seemed.
I am Mand. I have found it incredulous, but yea and amen, I am the woman that I have e'er dreamt or so it seemed, due in no small measure of gratitude to that fantastic device and the gallant, rakish squire. But for them I would yet be awaiting the ministrations of the surgeons, but now I am a woman, in every manner save personality as the woman who bore me
Being of male upbringing, I feared the discovery by my father, captain of the King's Guard. Alas, he brooked not the views of those things he deemed unmanly and not at all in keeping with our Den danske arv...the ways of the Danes. That he loved me I had no doubt, yet in fact I lived in dread of his rejection. I was a maiden in a manner, and ne'er could I have imagined he would embrace that hidden facet, that inner cog of this outward machinery of his scion. I discovered that I was sadly misguided in my perception, such as it was, and that I was valued...yea even royalty in his eyes.
I remained blinded; in a fog in manner, as I presented myself in feminine form at every turn, wearing garments that mirrored in every fashion the women of honor and bravery in myth, with advantages in female form and the careful disguise of my true nature. Father spake not unto me other than to growl loudly, as if in pain from a foul meal.
That he despised my apparel, I had not a doubt, with assurances from Kvinde my sister that our father despised her garb as well, she being a woman of youth indeed. Kvinde, being a maiden, was schooled at the side of our mother in the ways of womanhood. My brother Krieger, favorite of our father I perceived, excelled mightily in all things manly. If a description you seek for me, it would be svage, a weakling.
As my years progressed, so did my education. Seeking the care of others, I found solace with friends who loved me in my quest for my semblance, becoming of fey nature and look. No comfort arrived and I fell into a sadness.
Then, fate belied my fears as a missive came announcing the arrival of my family that Yuletide.
.
When e're I greeted my blood, lo and behold to my utter delight and confoundment, I e're heard these words.
"A Joyous Yuletide, fruit of my loins. It brings me great joy to acquaintance my girlchild at last," spake he.
I stood there, awestruck as my kin entered after him, musing over father's pronouncement.
"Kvindelig? Wonder ye why thou findest thy father not as a foolish arse?" asked my Mother.
"My mother?"
"Yes, I am here."
"Kvinde spake thus; our mother will not come with us!"
"She spake wisely and truthfully with what knowledge she had, knowing not my reprieve from duties at home."
Krieger, my brother, brought me thus to father, where he spake plainly,
"Kvindlig, daughterchild. The friend of my youth is thus as you appear. As you were birthed so she was, but yet has kith and kin of her own, with much fondess for them has she."
"Brought she they into her home from another woman's womb?"
"Nay, their father provided the seed for them and she bore them, even as nature might belie such opportunity."
"So, why say you ne'er that you loved me as I am?"
"I feared your weakness might prevail. And so I spake not to let you decide."
"Udtryk,(f**) father mine, coward that ye were!"
"Yea, fearful, but not for me but for thee! Yet may I vouchsafe thy safety."
"How?"
But lo, a fantastic device and a gallant, rakish squire appeareth in my quarters,
"Kvindelig, I can thee help, if thou yet believe."
"The Device? Yet have I read of such tales as to wonder the brightest soul. I believe."
Then I felt my body change and I became as Kvinde in stature and grace, and new memories of being e'er a girlchild.
"Now, Kvindlig, ye were begat and brought forth, nay Mand, my manchild."
"Thank you."
"Sayest thou to these, your kid," spake he.
But ere I spake I felt oddish, as not myself. Kvindlig is but a name, and yet I appeared even as a twin to my sister.
"Udtryk," (f***) I yelled and spake thusly with a complaint such as would never be heard again.
"I but only adore the dress of my sister, not the form and function thereof. What hast thou done?"
E're I looked beneath my garb and found my body in lack of my former guise, and I wept bitter tears.
"En perfekt Sjá¦l ikke kan findes!" (Nobody's perfect) spake the squire e're he vanished.
My father laughed a hearty laugh even as my mother came and placed her arm upon my back.
"De skal passe pá¥, hvad de á¸nsker," (be careful what you wish for) spake she e're she ended thus and so,
"It may come true, my daughter, it may come true."
Slutningen pᥠhistorien
(The End of the Story)
(Beggin' your pardon, as my kin would say. All translations are complements of Babylon Online Translator and should be considered loose approximates. The names are representative of the family. Krieger means warrior. Kvinde and Kvindelig are forms of the word woman.
Thank you kindly)