I had just slipped one of my sisters dresses on and had gotten it zipped up when I froze in response to hearing a sound. I was supposed to be home alone on this particular Saturday, as Mom and Rachel had gone out to do some shopping for one of Rachel’s friends birthday parties.

“Turn around, let me get a look at you.” I heard mom’s voice from behind me. I slowly turned around, figuring that mom was going to be pissed at me, instead she was smiling. “What’s your name?” This puzzled me.

“I’m Justin.” I said, confused by the question. “Am I in trouble?”

“I know what your boy name is, silly. I meant what is your name when you are wearing your sister’s dress?”

“Oh.” I replied softly, my voice almost a whisper. “Emma Michelle.”

“Ok, Emma. How long have you been dressing up?” Mom asked.

“About three years.” I looked at the floor, hoping that it would swallow me where I stood. I saw mom’s hand reach under my chin and then felt it start to rise as she lifted it up.

“Are you afraid that I’m mad at you?” She asked, crouching down to look into my grey eyes.

“Yes.” I said quietly. Mom reached down to take the brush that I was holding in my right hand. I released my grip as she moved behind me and started brushing my hair.

“Why would I be mad at you, Emma?” Mom asked, running the brush through my blonde locks of hair. This had a comforting effect on me.

“Because I’m dressed up in Rachel’s clothes. Speaking of Rachel, where is she?”

“She’s at Lizzy’s. I dropped her off and then came back here to see if my suspicions were correct. She’s been noticing that things weren’t how she left them.” Mom said, bunching my hair into a bunch on the left side of my head. I saw a white ribbon go that direction. Mom did the same thing on the right side of my head and I saw that another white ribbon head toward that side of my head. Judging by the two bunches, I now sported pigtails. Mom gently spun me around so I could see my self in the mirror. A twelve year old girl looked back at me. Rachel was ten, and I was small for my age. I blinked. Mom was standing behind me smiling. “What do you think, Emma?”

“I…” That was the last thing I remembered.

* * *

When I came to, I was in the living room, with Mom rocking me. We were sitting on the couch, and I heard some soft music that I recognized as Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony.

“What happened?” I asked softly. Mom glanced down to see that my eyes had opened.

“Well, I think you fainted. You saw how pretty you were and then it was lights out…” Mom said. I sat up and looked down toward my feet. I was still wearing the baby blue dress and white mary jane’s that I had slipped onto my feet before Mom had startled me. I pinched my arm, wincing in pain. Ok, this isn’t a dream.

“I fainted? I think that’s the first time I’ve ever done that…” I replied.

“It is. How’s your head?”

“It hurts a little bit. Was the girl in the mirror me? That’s the last thing I remember seeing. A cute girl with grey eyes and blonde hair.”

“Yes, Just-“ Mom stopped and looked at me. “Emma. That pretty girl was you. You look just like your sister, only a little older.”

“Can we try the mirror again?” I asked. “I want to get a better look at that little girl.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call her ‘little.’” Mom said with a chuckle. “She may be shorter than other girls her age, but she gets offended if someone calls her little.” I smiled at my mom, she knew me pretty well. One thing I hated was to be called little, but in this case it seemed to fit my current appearance. Mom gently took my hand and led me back upstairs to her room where she had a full length mirror. Mom stopped at the top of the steps. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.” I did as she requested and felt her lead me along the carpeted floor. I figured we were going into her room. “Open your eyes.” Mom whispered in my ear. I did as I was instructed.

“Mom, are you sure that’s me?” I asked. The mouth of the girl in the mirror moved as I spoke. I lifted my right hand and the pretty girl in the mirror lifted her right hand as well. Mom was standing behind me smiling.

“Yes, Emma. That pretty little girl is you.” Mom said.

“I’ve never looked like this when I’ve dressed up by my self. How did you do it?” Mom smiled.

“Trade secret.” Mom said chuckling. “Your sister will be home soon, unless you want her to know about Emma, you need to go get changed and transform your self back into Justin. Bring me the dress and shoes after you change.”

“Umm, Mom, I’m also wearing ah…” I let thought trail off.

“Panties?” Mom finished for me. I nodded. “Give them to me and I’ll take care of them.”

“Ok.” I said, walking into my room to change.

To be continued...

It was next Saturday morning when Rachel, mom and I were sitting in the living room. We had just eaten what mom had called a ‘Full English Breakfast.’ I think that this was the first time I had ever eaten baked beans for breakfast, but it was a full, hearty, breakfast that wouldn’t be leaving me any time soon. I figured there was a reason for this.

“Mom, I’m going to go over to Lizzy’s.” Rachel said. Mom glanced up from the catalog that she was looking at. She had been sitting in the living room flipping though catalogs all morning, marking things.

“Ok. Be back before six. We’re going out for dinner.” Rachel and I glanced at each other. Normally mom cooked at home, and we had better food than what we ever ate while we were out.

“Why are we going out for dinner?” I asked as this was different from what we normally did.

“Because by the time you and I get done today, neither one of us is going to want to cook.” Mom said with a smile. I suddenly figured out what she meant. I blinked and she slightly nodded. Rachel was slipping a pair of sandals on her feet.

“I’ll call you if any thing changes, Mom.” Rachel said, before slamming the front door as she left. It didn’t matter what her mood was doors tended to slam around her. Mom smiled at me as I relaxed on the couch, curled with a book. I had my feet tucked under me, and occasionally I would reach up and brush my shoulder blade length hair back and tuck it behind my ear. Mom never asked when I was going to get a haircut and now she knew the reason. Mom had been smiling as he had tucked the hair back while he was at home all week. At school, Justin simply put the bundle of hair in a loose ponytail, low at the base of his neck rather than high on the head like all the girls wore theirs.

“Emma, Go up and get a shower. I’ll lay something for you to wear on your bed.” Mom said. I blinked.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“You’ll see, go get a shower.” Mom insisted. For some reason, her smile did the opposite of comforting me, it scared me. I stood and made my way upstairs, pausing long enough to strip and grab my robe before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. I heard the door open and then close as I took my shower. I didn’t think anything of it until I pulled the shower curtain back and saw Rachel’s pink robe hanging on the hook where I had left my robe. I shrugged and slipped the pink robe on and headed to my room. Mom was true to her word and laying on my bed was a pink short sleeved tee shirt with a picture of a golden retriever puppy on it and a short denim skirt. On the floor a pair of pink canvas sneakers waited for my feet. I looked at my pillow, there was a white camisole and white pair of panties laying there. I slipped them on and then pulled the shirt over my head. I stepped into the skirt and then slid my feet in the shoes. I opened the door as Mom was about to knock. I smiled and looked at her.

“Come one, Emma, Let’s get your hair done,” Mom said, taking my hand and guiding me towards her room. When we got there, she had already gotten some pink ribbon out to do the same thing that she had done to my hair the week before. Mom worked her magic and then handed me a small purse. I looked at the girl in the mirror, not fainting this time.

“Mom, she’s pretty.” I said, The girl in the mirrors lips moved.

“I know, she’s her mother’s daughter. Emma, I was thinking that we could go shopping. You need some of your own clothes.” I slowly turned to look at my mom.

“You–” I paused to figure out how I wanted to say what was going though my head. “Want me to go out dressed like this?” Mom walked to my right and then crouched, gently turning me to my right so I faced her.

“No one is going to see anything other than a mother and her daughter shopping. If I hadn’t looked at your eyes, I wouldn’t have known who you were last week.” She said, holding both of my hands in hers. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I promise.” We walked back downstairs and then out to into the garage. Mom opened the door on the Honda Pilot that she drove and let me get in. She smiled as I brushed the skirt underneath me as I sat, shut the door and then went around to get into the drivers side and got in. The back windows on the car were tinted, which meant that unless someone saw me from the front windows, they wouldn’t know I was here. The garage door opened and mom pulled out, pausing long enough to shut it and then we were on our way to the mall.

* * *

We had been shopping for about an hour when I heard a voice that I recognized.

“Mom!”

We had been shopping for about an hour when I heard a voice that I recognized. Mom and I each had bags that contained various pieces of my new wardrobe, and I was holding on to her hand.

“Mom!” Mom squeezed my hand and we both ignored the voice that we recognized as belonging to Rachel. “Mom, Wait up.” Rachel must have ran to catch up to us. By now we had people looking at us.

“Oh, Hi Rachel.” Mom said. “What are you doing here?”

“Lizzy’s mom thought we needed to burn off some energy, so she brought us here.” Rachel said. She glanced at me. “Mom, who’s that little girl?” It took everything in me to not respond to Rachel calling me little.

“Rachel, I’d like you to meet Emma.” Mom said to Rachel. Rachel had on a pair of denim shorts and a pink camisole. Rachel looked me up and down.

“Hi Emma.” Rachel said, with a smile. I had obviously passed muster with her and she thought I was a girl.

‘Gee wiz,’ I thought ‘Does everyone think I’m a girl.’

“Hi Rachel.” I said. Rachel turned to their mother.

“Mom, who is she? She looks like Justin.” By now Lizzy and her mom had caught up to Rachel.

“Hi Sharon.” Lizzy’s mom said to mom. Now I had Rachel and Lizzy giving me a once over. For some reason I started to get scared and moved behind mom.

“Hello Rebecca.” Mom said. She glanced around. “Let’s go back to our house so we can discuss this… I wasn’t going to tell Rachel yet, but it may be time.”

“Tell me what?” Rachel asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” Mom said, leading us out side. Mom, Rachel and I got into Mom’s car, and we watched as Lizzy and her mom, Rebecca got into their car which happened to be parked four spaces away. Mom backed out and drove toward the house. I looked behind us and saw that Rebecca and Lizzy were in their car following us. It looked like they were having an animated discussion. Mom backed the car in the driveway, and Rebecca pulled in, shut off her engine and got out of her car. The five of us walked into the kitchen where mom started a pot of tea. Mom looked at Rachel, Lizzy and I. “Girls, go sit in the living room, and wait for us, and please no asking Emma questions.” The three of us nodded and headed into the living room. The children sat on the couch which would hold three adults, and Mom and Rebecca sat on the love seat which seated two.

“Ok, Everyone has been wondering who Emma is. Emma is, well, Emma.” I blinked a few times. This wasn’t what I expected to happen.

“Huh?” I heard Rachel say. Being two years younger than me, I didn’t expect her to get what Mom said, never mind the fact that I didn’t understand it.

“Rachel, Emma is your sister. She is going to need our love and support for some time to come if my guess is correct.” Mom said. Rachel’s jaw dropped and she looked at me.

“Wait, Emma is Justin?” She said.

“Yes, When I got pregnant with Justin, I was majoring in Computer Sciences with a minor in psychology. I was actually thinking about switching that around when I learned that I was pregnant. One thing led to another and I ended up leaving school to raise your brother. When I left school we had just finished studying about a diagnosis called Gender Identity Disorder.” This got the three children looking at each other. “I’ve been noticing signs in Justin that have had me pouring over my notes and doing some research on my own. Emma, you have an appointment on Tuesday.” Rachel reached over and hugged me, a little tighter than I would have liked, but it was still a hug, something that Justin rarely got from Rachel.

“Mom, how long is Emma going to stay with us?”

“As long as she needs to. Rachel, you thought that Justin had been getting into your things for a while now, right?” Mom asked. Rachel and I both blushed.

“Yes, Mom.” Rachel said.

“So this has been going on for a while then. Emma, come here.” I got up and walked over to where mom was sitting on the love seat and sat on her lap where her right hand was resting. I curled up into my mother like I always did. I couldn’t believe that Mom had just told Rachel and Lizzy about Emma. I laid my head on mom’s shoulder and started sobbing. Mom stroked my hair and I calmed down. Rachel and Lizzy were looking at me, but not with hatred in their eyes, they were full of compassion.

“Emma, what do you think about sticking around for a little bit?” I lifted my head from Mom’s shoulder and looked at her.

“Emma, what do you think about sticking around for a little bit?” I lifted my head from Mom’s shoulder and looked at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked, looking into her blue eyes.

“Spend the next few days as Emma, without changing back into Justin’s clothes.” I just glanced at my mother like she had lost her mind. I was happier as Emma than I ever had been as Justin. Rachel and Lizzy both looked at me, trying to figure out what my answer was going to be.

“If I don’t like being Emma full time, can I switch back to being Justin?” I asked, quietly.

“Yes, you can. I’m not going to stop you. But I will say that you seem like you are happier as Emma. You seemed like you were sad when you took off Rachel’s dress last Saturday.” Mom kissed my forehead.

“That’s because I was.” I stated quietly. “I’m not happy being Justin. Boys don’t get to have all the fun clothes, and they can’t put their hair in pigtails, can’t have ribbons tickle their ears. Most boys don’t know what they are missing.” Mom, Rachel and Lizzy all looked looked at me as if I had just made a profound statement.

“I always thought having the ribbons tickle my ears was slightly annoying…” Rachel said.

“I actually kinda like it.” I replied. “I missed it after Mom took the pigtails out of my hair last Saturday. It kinda reminds me how to act.”

“Yeah, but you’ve always been kinda girlish in the way you act.” Rachel smiled. “When was the last time that your hair was short like most other boys?” This one I had to think about.

“It’s been a few years…” I mumbled.

“You like having long hair, don’t you?” Mom asked. The last time that she had asked me to get it cut, I threw a fit and didn’t have to.

“Yes.” I smiled, and then ran my fingers through my shoulder blade length dishwater blonde hair. “I want to grow it out and then donate it to kids with cancer…” Mom looked at me.

“That’s what you want to do with that pretty hair?” Mom asked. Lizzy and Rachel looked at each other.

“Let’s do it together.” Rachel said. Lizzy ran her hand over her mid back length strawberry blonde hair.

“Ok.” Lizzy said. Her mom looked at her, surprised.

“Is anyone hungry?” Mom asked. This is almost a trick question when you are talking to a twelve year old and two ten year olds.

“Yes.” The three of us said at once. Mom looked at Rebecca.

“Where should we go?”

“Somewhere with something the girls will eat.” Rebecca said. She knew that the three of us were picky eaters.

“What about that new pizza buffet place over at the shopping center?” Mom shrugged. Rachel and I looked at each other and smiled. We had been wanting to go there since we had heard that it opened.

“Sounds good to me. Do you want to just take your van rather than two cars?”

“Yeah, Lets take the van.” Mom said, and then she stood up. Rachel and I stood up and started to head for the door to go out and get in the van. “Woah, guys, hang on.” Rachel and I stopped and looked at Mom. “Emma, go wash your face. No daughter of mine is going to leave this house with tear stains on her face.”

“Yes, Mother.” I said, and headed for the bathroom on the first floor to wash my face. Once I had done that I rejoined the others where they standing by the back door. Mom opened the door on the van using remote and watched as we ran out and got in the back of the van. Rebecca and Mom both walked out of the house and Mom turned and locked the door, and then got in the front seats. We had already buckled our seat belts and were ready to go. Mom and Rebecca buckled their belts and Mom started the van. Ten minutes later, mom parked the van and we started to pile out. Rachel and I were used to waiting on Mom to walk with us. We all walked in to the restaurant.

“Who wants to go shopping?” Mom asked, after draining the rest of her drink. We were attempting to shop that morning when we had encountered Rebecca, Lizzy and Rachel.

“We never finished shopping for me this morning.” I said. Mom looked at me and smiled.

“Mom, Can I go back to Lizzy’s?” Rachel asked.

“Fine by me.” Rebecca shrugged.

“Ok, I’ll drop you guys at the house and then Emma and I can go continue our shopping.” Mom said, taking Rachel’s hand and starting toward the door. I followed Mom and Rachel outside and got in the van. The van was quiet on the way home and once we got there, Mom gave Rachel a kiss and then watched as the three of them got out and got in Rebecca’s Honda and drove away. Mom put the van in gear and we were off to the mall, for the second and hopefully final time today.

Mom and I went shopping for more stuff than I knew existed. When we were finally done, I now had a female wardrobe that rivaled Rachel’s and I knew that we would be able to share things between us. It was late afternoon when we pulled in the driveway.

“Emma, go put your stuff on your bed, I’ll be up in a little bit to help you put it away.”

“Yes, Mom.” I replied, taking the bags out of the back of the van and carrying them into the house. Well, it looks like being a girl isn’t going to get me out of any chores. Mom went into the kitchen and started pulling stuff out of the fridge. I sat the bags on my bed and went back down stairs, my skirt tickling the back of my legs. I walked in the kitchen and tried to figure out what Mom was cooking for dinner. You know how they say that mothers have eyes in the back of their heads? I’m convinced that they do.

“Emma, put that apron on, and you can help me make the roast that we will have tomorrow night.” Mom said without turning from the counter where she was slicing something.. I was fairly certain that I hadn’t made any noise as I came in the kitchen. I put the apron on and walked over to where mom was slicing carrots. I was already used to helping mom in the kitchen as she thought that knowing how to cook was a good skill to have. “Can you cube those potatoes for me.”

“Sure,” I said, picking up the knife and turning the potatoes that mom had already peeled into cubes. When I was done, Mom looked at me.

“Do you still have your fingers?” She asked with a chuckle. I held up both of my hands to indicate that, yes, I still had all of my digits. Mom shook her head and smiled. “Ok, bring those potatoes over and put them in with the roast.” Mom instructed. I took the bowl that I had placed the cubed potatoes in and carefully placed them around the roast that mom had already put in part of the crock pot. Mom dropped her sliced carrots into the pot and then slid the whole thing into the fridge so that she could cook it for dinner tomorrow. .

“Now what?” I asked.

“Now we call Rebecca and Lizzy and ask them to bring Rachel home in two hours and join us for dinner.” Mom said before heading to the phone and making the call. I went back up to my room to start sorting out my clothes and putting them away. I started by simply removing things from the bags and sitting them on the bed. I organized the clothes before trying to figure out where to put them On the bed was a pile of skirts, a pile of dresses, a pile of tee shirts and piles of panties and vests. The panties and vests were going to be easy, those went in the dresser. The tee shirts could go there also, but I was at a loss as where to put the other stuff. I heard a knock on my door, and turned to see mom standing there.

“What should I do with the dresses and skirts?” I asked, picking the panties and vests up and placing them in the top drawer of my dresser.

“Let me go see if your sister or I have any skirt hangers.” Mom said and then disappeared. I rearranged my top drawer and put the panties and vests in next to my boy underwear… Mom came back in carrying some hangers that I’d never seen before. They looked like they would grip the waist band of the skirt and let it hang freely in the closet. Mom picked up a pink skirt and put it in the hanger. I watched as Mom took the skirt and hung it next to my pants in the closet. Mom took care of the skirts and left one dress laying on the bed. The dress was a baby pink color, something that I don’t think that most twelve year old girls would wear that color. Rachel was a tomboy so she typically didn’t wear much in the way of dresses or skirts. I glanced at Mom.

“Why didn’t you put that dress in the closet?”

“I want you to wear it to dinner. Your sister isn’t very girly, and judging by what I caught you in last week, you are the more girly of the two of you.” Mom said. I knew that she was right. I think that I would prefer skirts over shorts, at least until the weather turned colder, and then I might have to switch to pants… “I think the color will set your eyes off. The only other color that I can think of that would set them off more is blue.” Mom said. Rachel had blue eyes, and Mom always tried to get her in a blue dress on school picture day. Mom eventually gave up on dresses and settled for blue shirts.

“Mommy, Next time we go shopping can we get me a blue dress?”

A Birthday party, and potential trouble...

Mom pulled the van into Lizzy’s driveway and shut off the engine. I was sitting in one of the two captain chairs, when the door on the passenger side of the van opened and Lizzy, Rebecca, and Rachel walked out of the house. Rachel took her usual seat behind the normally empty passenger seat and Lizzy sat in the middle of the third row. Rebecca climbed in next to Mom, she spun in the seat to look at me.

“You look like you are dressed up for a birthday party.” Rebecca said to me.

“That’s because it is Emma’s birthday.” Mom said. Rebecca and Rachel looked at mom as she backed the van out of the driveway.

“It is?” I asked quietly. I was bewildered by this. My birthday was in September. September 23rd to be exact. “My birthday is in September…”

“Justin’s birthday is in September.” Rachel said.

“I know, be we are talking about Emma, and her birthday is today, June 25th.” Rachel and I looked at each other.

“Is that why you bought me this pretty dress?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.” Mom said, slowing at a red light. Rachel looked at me.

“You can keep the dresses, I’ll keep my pants…” She said. “In fact, you can take the dresses and skirts from my closet and dresser and put them in your room.” Mom chuckled.

“I told you that you were the girlier of my two daughters.” Mom said as the light changed. “I think it would be cute to get the two of you in matching dresses and get some pictures taken.”

“At least you have a girly daughter, I have to fight mine to wear a skirt or dress and she does that about twice a year…” Rebecca said. I glanced back at Lizzy. She was rolling her eyes.

“Mom, I hate wearing skirts. I only dress up at Christmas and on school picture day… There are some girls in my class that don’t even do that.” Lizzy said.

“Yes, but I would like you to look nice in your pictures…” Rebecca let the thought trail off.

“I fight Rachel every year for pictures… I’ve settle for blue blouses that show off her eyes.” Mom said.

“And I hate wearing them every year.” Rachel said. Mom parked the van in front of a local restaurant that was known for their sundae bar. Rachel, Lizzy and I looked at each other and grinned. A sundae bar for a girls birthday party sounded really good to me., but then again, I was the birthday girl.

“Alright, lets go in.” Mom said, shutting the engine off and opening the doors on the van. We all piled out and then walked into the restaurant.

“Good evening, just five of you tonight, three kids and two adults?” The hostess whose name tag read ‘Heather’ asked.

“Yes,” Mom said. Heather then turned around and pulled three kids menus and two adults menus from the racks behind her. She led the way to a large round table mere feet from the sundae bar. “Dinner first, and then you can have the sundae bar.” Was Mom’s response to our drooling at the sundae bar. Our server walked over and looked at the five of us seated around the table.

“Good Evening, ladies, I’m Akira, and I’ll be your server this evening. What can I start you off with to drink?" She asked. I glanced at her, and then at mom. She was wearing a white blouse, a short pleated black skirt, black tights with snow flakes and snow men on them, and a thin black tie. I idly wondered if she was warm in the tights, as she looked like she was wearing a rather thick pair.

“We’ll have diet cokes,” Mom said, pointing to her and Rebecca. “And chocolate milk for the girls.” The three of us grinned at each other. One thing that we shared was a love for chocolate milk.

“Ok, I’ll be back in a few minutes, why don’t you have a look at the menu while you wait.” Akira said, spinning on her heel and heading toward a computer to enter our drinks into the system. I watched as she walked away and saw that she was wearing some shoes that looked like the Mary Janes that I had slipped on my feet but had a fairly high heel (to me anyway, I don’t think I would walk in the shoes she had on…) Mom and Rebecca also had watched her walk away.

“I think that my feet would be killing me by the end of a shift in those shoes.” Mom said. “I don’t know how kids these days do it. I would also be burning up in what she had on…”

“Me too.” Rebecca said, turning her attention from the server and back to the menu. “Chicken fingers.” She glanced at the three of us and then at mom. The three of us were nodding.

“Looks like the girls are happy with it, a grilled chicken salad sounds good to me.” Mom sat the menu down. Akira was coming back with our drinks. We ordered our food and then Heather sat a family of four at the table next to us. One of the kids that sat down was Shane Barker, someone that picked on me at school…

Shane paid no attention to the family that sat next to the table that his family sat at. I was grateful, and honestly paid no attention to him or his family. Our food came and we ate. When we were done, Mom looked at us.

“Who wants ice cream?” Mom asked, stacking the plates that our chicken tenders had been on. Rachel, Lizzy and my self must have looked at her like she was nuts, because she started laughing. “Ok, we’ll get it as soon as our server comes back.” Almost as if she knew that she were being talked about, Akira appeared behind mom.

“Are we ready for dessert?” She asked. Mom jumped slightly, not realizing that Akira was behind her. “Sorry.” Akira said.

“Yes, we are ready for dessert.” Rebecca said as Mom recovered from having the snot scared out of her.

“For all five of you, or just the kids?” Rebecca looked at Mom.

“All five of us. Also, it’s the young lady in pinks birthday today.” Mom said. I hadn’t expected her to tell the staff that it was my birthday. Usually when the staff in a restaurant was told that it was someone’s birthday, they all came out singing… I had a feeling that I would be blushing in short order… Akira smiled.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” Akira asked me.

“Emma.” I answered quietly…

“Happy birthday, Emma.” Akira said, “How old are you?”

“Twelve.” I said. I’m really one. I thought. Mom winked at me.

“Are we doing the sundae bar for our dessert?” Akira asked.

“Yes.” Mom said.

“Ok, you guys go help your selfs.” Akira said. I stood and felt the hem of my dress fall back to just above my knees. The white lace trim tickling the backs of my legs. I brushed a few locks of my blonde hair back behind my ear and made my way to the sundae bar and created a bowl of vanilla ice cream and sprinkles. I carried it back to the table and sat down, right as half the staff of the restaurant walked up and sang me happy birthday. Akira gently sat a small cake in front of me with a single candle on it. “Happy first birthday.” She whispered into my ear. I slowly turned and looked at her. She was smiling. I made a wish and blew the candle out and then looked at Akira. She still had the smile on her face and it was obvious that she knew more than everyone else on the staff. After the rest of the staff had gone back to working their tables, Akira remained by our table. I noticed that all of the female staff had on skirts and tights that were anything but plain.

“How did you know?” I asked her. She gave me a shy smile, and pointed at Mom.

“She told me. Welcome to the fairer sex, and enjoy every moment of it.” Akira whispered. I felt my cheeks heat up. Akira giggled, and I started eating my ice cream before it melted. Mom was smiling watching me. Akira patted my shoulder and then went to check on another of her tables. Mom was smiling at me.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Mom said, pulling a small, gift wrapped box from her purse and sliding it across to me. I looked at Mom, and then at the box. “Go on, open it.” I did so. Inside was a necklace with a small pearl as a pendant. Rachel was peering over my left shoulder.

“That’s pretty.” She stated, matter-of-factly. My eyes went from the necklace to Mom.

“Thank you!” I said getting up and going around the table to give mom a hug. After our embrace ended, Mom pulled the necklace out of the box and placed it around my neck. Not used to wearing necklaces, it took me a few minutes to get used to the feeling of the gold chain around my neck. I reached up and felt the pendant.

“You’re welcome, and there is a matching set of earrings. We would need to pierce your ears for that though…” Mom said, sounding unsure of whether or not I would want them pierced.

“Do I have to decide now?” I asked.

“No. There are a lot of girls your age that don’t have pierced ears.” Mom responded. I looked at her smiled.

“I don’t know of too many one year olds that have pierced ears…” I replied with a chuckle.

“You’re not one, you look like your ten…” I heard a familiar voice say behind me.

“I don’t know of too many one year olds that have pierced ears…” I replied with a chuckle.

“You’re not one, you look like your ten…” I heard a familiar voice say behind me. I blinked at Mom once and then turned around. Standing behind me was Abby Jenkins. Abby was the daughter of one of mom’s coworkers, and someone that I knew in passing from school. “Good evening, Mrs. Fisher. How are you?” I gave Abby a quick look up and down. She had a blue tee shirt that read ‘Fun at the beach’ and a pair of jeans on. Her long strawberry blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail with a white ribbon.

“Hi Abby.” I said, Now it was Abby’s turn to blink. She hadn’t figured out who I was yet, and me speaking to her didn’t give her any ideas as to who I was. She raised her eyebrows.

“Do I know you?” She asked. Rachel giggled.

“Maybe.” I said quietly. “I’m Emma.” Abby continued to look at me, still not sure of who I was.

“Abby, you’ve met Emma, you just don’t remember her. How is your summer going?” Mom asked. Abby’s gaze shifted from me to Mom.

“It’s going well, we are leaving for the Florida Keys tomorrow. Are you sure that I’ve met Emma?” I glanced back at mom, hoping that she would come to some explanation as to who Emma was.

“Yes, I’m as sure of it as the nose on my face.” Mom said with a chuckle. I brushed a few strands of my blonde hair back out of my face. Mom had left a few strands on each side of my face loose so that they would frame my face. It was something that almost all of the girls that were in my class did with their hair, and something that I thought would be annoying. I hardly noticed, unless I moved my head in such a way that the hair fell into my eyes. Abby had moved her right hand to her chin as she thought about where she might know this little girl named Emma from. She looked at me, and then at Rachel, and then back to me and I saw a look of realization pass over her face, her sparkling green eyes widened for a second and then she smiled.

“Emma’s not a girl…” She said, a little louder than I would have liked. Shane turned his head, and realized who was sitting at the next table. He had been so engrossed in quietly picking on his six year old sister that he simply hadn’t paid attention to what was going on around him. His gaze shifted from Rachel to Lizzy, to Abby, and finally he stopped on me. He gave me a good look up and down, and then he smiled. It wasn’t a smile that I wanted to see. Mom’s eyes went from me to Shane, and back to me. She raised an eyebrow; she knew of the problems that Shane had caused for me at school.

“If Emma’s not a girl, then who is it, Abby?” he said jeeringly. He looked me up and down again, like I was a piece of meat or something.

“I’m not sure. I know that Mrs. Fisher has a son, but I don’t see him anywhere around here…” Abby let the thought trail off. I’m dead meat now. I thought. I was pretty sure that Abby knew who was standing in front of her. It was at that second that Shane figured out who I was.

“That’s because Emma is Justin.” Shane said loudly. Now several tables turned to look at this rather loud boy. I felt my cheeks turn red and then my eyes started to water. I felt a tear slip out. “Oh look the little sissy is crying. Just wait until I tell everyone I know that Justin Fisher was wearing his little sister’s dress when he went out to eat.” I ran out of the restaurant. I don’t know where I was planning on going, but I know that I ended up on the ground next to mom’s van. I was on my knees, when I felt a pair of arms around me. I knew they weren’t Rachel’s, moms, Lizzy’s, or Rebecca’s. I looked up, expecting to see Shane Barker, but I saw the very concerned face of Abby Jenkins. I heard the doors on the van click and saw the lights flash out of the corner of my eye, and the door in front of me slid open. Abby helped me up and into the van and she shut the door, locking it after it had closed. I sat in one of the captains chairs, with Abby’s arms still around me. Abby’s left hand was stroking my hair and she was gently rocking me. A few seconds later I heard the doors on the van click again and watched as Mom and Rachel came out, followed by Akira as well as a man in a tie. I sat up and looked at Abby in the light that filtered in from outside the van. She too had tears flowing down her face, almost as if she were sorry for me or something.

“Why did you come after me?” I asked as Mom opened the door on the van. She looked at me and Abby and realized that Abby had the situation under control.

“Because I’ve been in your shoes...” Was Abby’s simple, but profound statement.

“Why did you come after me?” I asked as Mom opened the door on the van. She looked at me and Abby and realized that Abby had the situation under control.

“Because I’ve been in your shoes…” Was Abby’s simple, but profound statement. I slowly glanced up at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked quietly. Mr. Barker was dragging Shane out of the restaurant by his ear and marching him toward where Abby and I sat in the van. I pointed out the window toward Shane and his father. I saw Mr. Barker stop and talk to mom, and then the door on the van slid open and Mr. Barker drug Shane to the open door.

“Miss Fisher, Shane has something he would like to say to you.” Mr. Barker said.

“I’m sorry Emma, Justin, whoever you are.” Shane said, and then looked at the ground. Abby glanced at me, Shane had never apologized to any of his victims before…

“You’ve been messing up my life for several years and the only thing you can say right now is you’re sorry? I hate to break it to you, but sorry isn’t going to cut it. I know that you were close to being expelled for your stunts at school, and I hope you are.” I said, feeling a little pissed at him.

“He won’t be returning to Emerson Elementary in September…” Mr. Barker said. Shane shuddered knowing what was coming next. “His mother and I have known for quite some time what his antics at school had been doing to the students that he tormented. Shane will be attending The Chatfield School; It’s a school for boys that are delinquents. Maybe then he will shape his act up. Until he starts school there, he is grounded, and I think dresses may be in his wardrobe in the future… Petticoat punishment worked with me…” Mr. Barker let the thought trail off. “He won’t be telling anyone about what he saw tonight, and if he does, I wouldn’t want to be him… I told your mom that if you have problems with any of his friends that he’s told, for her to let me know…”

“Thank you, Mr. Barker.” Was all that I could say. I was grateful that his parents had finally gotten fed up with his antics and were going to do something about it. Abby and I watched as Mr. Barker drug Shane toward their car. While Mr. Barker had been speaking to me, a gentlemen in a polo and slacks had approached mom and was talking to her and he kept glancing at Abby and I. I pointed him out to Abby.

“Oh, that’s my dad. He’s a lawyer so who knows what he and your mom are talking about.” She said, with a shrug. I had never met her father. He walked over and poked his head into the door of the van.

“Emma, I’m Daniel Jenkins, Abby’s dad. Would you like to come over and visit when we get back from our vacation? I would like to talk to your mom about some stuff.” Abby’s dad said. I glanced at Abby, who shrugged. “Abby, do you have everything under control in there?”

“Yes. I was just about to tell Emma my story, or at least the important parts…”Abby responded, bushing a piece of her strawberry blonde hair back behind her ear.

“Ok. I’ll have them box up what’s left of your dinner, and you can eat it later.” Mr. Jenkins said, before turning and heading back into the restaurant. Mom spoke to Mr. Jenkins for a few more moments and then he went back inside.

“What did you mean that you’ve been in my shoes?” I asked again.

“I wasn’t always Abigail Elizabeth Jenkins.” Abby began. “I was born as Andrew Edward Jenkins, and I had a condition knows as partial androgen insensitivity syndrome. It was discovered after I had complained about my chest being sore for no apparent reason. When the doctors told me that I would more than likely, regardless of which gender I decided to live as, develop as a female, I took what would be the easiest path to keep my life as normal as possible.” I interrupted Abby.

“Wait, you’re saying that you were a boy? I’ve known you for years and never knew that…” I said, my voice full of surprise.

“Yep. We only told those that needed to know. Did you ever wonder why you never hear me talk of gym class?” Abby gave a little smile. “I have been excused from gym for the foreseeable future, at dad’s request. He wants me to adjust to being a girl before he lets me get into the kind of stuff we do in gym.”

“How often do you wear skirts?” I asked out of curiosity. I preferred skirts and dresses over pants and shorts.

“I normally wear skirts. In fact, I have an ankle length pink dress to wear on the plane tomorrow. I think the only things in my luggage are skirts. I have nice legs and I think that I should show them off.” We watched as Mr. Jenkins came back out side with Abby’s little sister Nicole.

“Is Nicole a girl?” I asked watching them walk toward the van. Mom, Rebecca, Rachel, and Lizzy were sitting on a bench waiting on Abby and I to finish our conversation. Abby laughed.

“Yes, Nicole is very much a girl. I’m going to have to teach her the finer points of being a girl, though. She’s looked up to me ever since mom died.” I knew that her mother had died, but I didn’t know how she had died. “I miss mom. She never really got to see me grow up. The drunk driver has no clue what he took from us…” I reached over and hugged Abby, who hugged me back.

“I’m sorry Abby.” I said quietly. She sniffled and looked at me.

“Don’t be. Sometimes I get like this. Nicole never really knew mom, so it’s up to me to act as the ‘mom’.” Abby said.

“I know what you mean, although I don’t know my father, he ran out after Rachel was born. Said he couldn’t cope or something. I just hope that if I decide to stay as Justin, I am nothing like him.” Abby smiled.

“Can I say something without you getting mad at me?” She asked, and then bit her lip.

“Yeah.” I replied, wondering what she was going to say.

“I think you make a better girl than a boy. You’ve always been so gentle and kind. Plus for the longest time, from the back, it was very easy to picture you as a girl.” My jaw dropped, that was not what I had expected to hear…

“I think you make a better girl than a boy. You’ve always been so gentle and kind. Plus for the longest time, from the back, it was very easy to picture you as a girl.” Abby stated. My jaw dropped, that was not what I had expected to hear…

“I look like a girl?” I asked. Abby giggled.

“Yes, if you didn’t, you would have been made long before I figured out who you were with some coaxing from your mom, and you do look like you’re ten, not twelve. It’s ok for a girl to look young, but at our age we are all trying to look older.” Abby said. “Use it to your advantage, right now you have the time to figure out where you fit in this puzzle called life. If you wait a few years, you will have lost the perfect opportunity.”

“Mom is taking me to see someone on Tuesday, someone that she used to go to school with. She said that she was studying psycololgy when she got pregnant with me.”

“You mean psychology?” Abby said, with a smile. Mom pushed the button on the remote and opened the door on the van. We both looked at Mom, who smiled.

“Yeah, that.” Abby’s dad poked his head around the side of the door, scaring the living daylights out of Abby.

“Daddy!” Abby shrieked. I giggled. “You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days…”

“I doubt that, sweetheart.” Mr. Jenkins said laughing. “We need to get home and get to bed, our plane leaves at quarter till seven, and that means that we need to be at the airport at five thirty. I’ll call Sharon when we get there and you guys can talk then. I will be corresponding with Sharon quite frequently while we are in Florida.”

“Ok. Daddy.” Abby said, climbing out of the van. I followed her out and stood next to her. Abby did something that shocked me: she turned and hugged me. I was unaccustomed to getting hugs from people. Guys didn’t do that, it’s was not manly or something stupid like that. I hugged her back. Being able to talk to her had helped me a bit. Nicole and Rachel were talking. They were about the same age, and new friends wouldn’t hurt either of them.

“Abby, Nicole, we need to get going. You girls can catch up when we get back. I’m sure that we will see more of Emma and Rachel. Sharon, call me if you have any problems with Shane or his friends.” Mom nodded. Abby turned and smiled at me. Abby’s dad was the next one to turn and look at me. “Emma, keep your chin up, and don’t let anyone stop you from being yourself.” He walked over and hugged me, giving me a kiss on the forehead. I blushed and watched as he did the same to Rachel. He just gave Lizzy a hug. We watched as the three of them walked over and got in their car.

#

I must have fallen asleep on the way back to the house because I woke to Rachel shaking me. I looked and saw that we were parked in the garage. Unbuckling my seat belt, I opened the door and got out, giving a little stretch, and made a little sound that caused mom to turn and look at me with a smile on her face.

“Emma, go upstairs and get changed into something for bed. May I suggest the baby blue satin night gown that we got for you?” I smiled sleepily and went up stairs and got out the night gown that mom suggested for me. I slipped the dress over my head and dropped it in my hamper. I looked down at the baby pink panties that I wore and then walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. This was where we had put all of my new undergarments. There was a pair of baby blue panties in the drawer that matched the night gown and had white lace across the butt. I still didn’t understand this. Surely the nightgown would cover my butt, right? Hooking my thumbs in the waist band of the panties that I had on, I shimmied my way out of them in the same way I thought a girl might. In my mind, my outward appearance was finally matching the way my insides were wired… I pulled the ruffled panties up to my hips and looked at my self in the mirrored closet door. I turned around and looked at the ruffles that now covered my bottom. I thought that they were really cute, but still failed to see the point of having them if no one would see them. I opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and pulled out the night gown. I slipped the cool satin over my head and instantly realized why the panties had lace on them. I could, depending on how I moved, see the lace on the backside of the panties. There was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” I said, looking at the mirror as mom walked into the room. She smiled when she saw me dressed like I was.

“We need to button the buttons on the back really quickly, but you are cute in that.”

“Is it designed to be short enough to show my panties?” I watched mom walk over and button the three little buttons on the back of the night gown. The neckline sat right at my neck, and the night gown was snug to where my breasts would be if I were old enough to have them, and then it just flared out from there. If I were to twirl, the lower portion of the night gown would have risen and revealed my panties. The short gown stopped just below the bottom of my butt, which I thought was odd. Rachel had never worn any thing like this so I had never seen any thing like it. The feeling was completely different than the boring, plain clothes I would sleep in as Justin… Mom was smiling as I took in what I looked like.

“Alright, princess, lets get you tucked into bed, and get you to bed.” I blushed at mom calling me princess, I’d never really had a pet name, and princess was the first thing she came up with. I felt like a princess as I climbed into bed. Mom pulled the covers up and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, Princess. Sleep well.” Mom said, heading toward the door.

“Night mommy, talk to you tomorrow.” I replied, feeling my eyelids start to drop. I don’t remember any thing after seeing the light turn off, and hearing the door close.

I awoke to the sounds of birds chirping and the light from the window. It was Tuesday morning, and I knew that at 10:30 I had an appointment to see someone that mom knew from when she was in school. I rolled out of the bed and headed for the shower. By the time that I had gotten out of the shower mom had laid two outfits on my bed. One side contained a pair of khaki slacks, a maroon polo. Laying next to the polo and slacks was a sleeveless white dress with brown butterflies embroidered into the fabric. Mom’s voice startled me.

“I want you to pick what you wear today, Emma. If you want to wear the dress, I’m going to need to help you because it buttons up the back.”

“I want to wear the dress.” I said softly. My fingers were feeling the tulle at the hem of the dress. “I don’t think that pants will feel right after the amount of time I’ve spent in a dress.”

“Ok. Get dressed, and when you need help buttoning the dress, give me a shout. Put your white sandals on, the ones with the cork bottoms.” I watched as she shut the door. I dropped my towel in the hamper and opened my top dresser drawer reaching in blindly, I removed a pair of pale pink panties; I slid them on and reached back in for the next garment I needed. I pulled out a short white slip and dropped it over my head. The slip stopped at mid thigh, which was fine as the dress looked like it would go to my knees. I looked in the mirror and smiled. I heard the front door slam and knew that Rachel was on her way to Lizzy’s and that now left Mom and I in the house. I picked the dress up and slipped it over my head, gently pulling it down so that the bodice was hanging correctly. The bodice was snug, and felt nice against the slip. I twirled in front of the mirror, causing the skirt to rise and show the pink panties. They only slightly contrasted with the white dress and slip. Mom came up and knocked on my door. “How ya doing in there, Emma?”

“I just need to put my sandals on and button the back of dress.” I sat on the edge of my bed and slipped the sandals on my feet. I fumbled with the buckles on the sandals and finally got them buckled. “Come in.” Mom opened the door and came in. I stood, and turned so that Mom could button the back of the dress. I felt the bodice gently squeeze me, almost like I was being hugged. I really liked the feeling of snugness of the dress and couldn’t comprehend why Rachel didn’t like them. They were cooler than shorts, and were much prettier. Mom smiled at me in the mirror as she finished buttoning me up.

“Can we do pigtails today?” Mom smiled behind me in the mirror.

“I was already thinking that, Emma.” Mom replied, holding up two spools of ribbon. One was brown and the other was white. Both would go with the dress. I looked at mom, my grey eyes sparkling.

“Which one do you think, Mom?” I asked. She held both spools of ribbon next to my head.

“The brown ribbon.” She said, pulling a length off the spool and cutting it with a pair of scissors. She then did the same thing again, so that she had two ribbons. It took her no time at all to put her daughter’s hair in high pigtails that sat above her ears, held in place by an elastic band, and a brown ribbon. “Lets go down and get something to eat for breakfast before we head to see Dr. Anderson. I don’t know how long we will be there.”

“Ok.” I said, turning on my heel and walking down stairs. I had never worn any kind of a heel and the one and a half inch heel on these sandals caused me to go slower than I normally would have. This caused mom to chuckle.

“A bit slow in the shoes, huh?” she asked between chuckles.

“Yes. Not used to the heels…” Mom chuckled again.

“Those aren’t anything. I have a pair that are four inches. I highly doubt you could walk in those.”

“I think I would fall flat on my face.” My feet hit the hardwood floor in the foyer and I made my way into the kitchen with more confidence than I had traversed the steps. I opened the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk. Turning around I grabbed the box of frosted flakes out of the pantry and shut the door and saw mom watching me. She smiled and I went back to getting my breakfast. After making my bowl of cereal, I put the milk away and carefully carried the bowl to the table and sat down, smoothing my dress under me. Mom looked like she was taking notes in her head the entire time. I ate as mom drank a cup of coffee that was still sitting on the counter when we had come into the kitchen. She must have made it before she had come upstairs to help me get dressed. I finished my cereal and put my bowl in the dishwasher.

“Emma, we need to go. I told Jill that we would be there by ten so that she could talk to me before she saw you. She wants my observations on what’s going on.”

“Ok.” I opened the door to the garage and walked out, feeling the cool air against my bare legs. I got in the back of mom’s Honda and buckled my seatbelt. Mom got in and started the engine after opening the garage door. She backed out of the garage and we were on our way to the doctors office.

We left the doctors office and went to a local ice cream shop. After we had gotten our ice cream and sat down, Mom started explaining to me what Dr. Williams had come up with during our session.

“After explaining to Jill what I had observed and her actually seeing you today, she agreed with my initial assessment of gender dysphoria, although they changed the name to gender identity disorder. She will, however need to see you quite a bit more before actually passing a diagnoses and subsequent recommendations on to me about treatment.” Mom said, before scooping a spoonful of her chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream into her mouth.

“What does that mean for me?” I asked.

“Well,” Mom took another bite of the her ice cream. Rather than let mine melt, I did the same. “If she determines that a diagnoses of gender identity disorder is accurate, we could enroll you in school as Emma, and you, if you wanted to, could begin the process of officially living as Emma full time.” I must have had a large smile appear on my face, because mom had a huge grin appear as well.

#

Mom backed the Honda into the garage and shut off the engine. I opened the door and watched as Jacob Anderson walked up the driveway. Mom was already out of the car and walking down the driveway to go check the mail.

“Hello, Mrs. Fisher.” He said, stopping half way up the drive, and looking at me.

“Hey Jacob, What brings you by?”

“I was wondering if Justin wanted to come by and play some games on the Playstation.” Mom looked over Jacob’s head and looked at me. I shook my head at her.

“Justin hasn’t been feeling well the last few days and has been stuck in bed. I’ll tell him you stopped by though. Maybe in a few days he will want to go out and do something.”

“Oh. Tell him that I hope he feels better, and to swing by when he can.”

“I’ll pass that on.” Jacob finally saw me and smiled. I could have sworn my knees started shaking when he looked at me.

“Thanks, I’ll see you around, Mrs. Fisher.” Jacob smiled at me one last time and then went back the way he came. Mom walked back into the garage and hit the button to close the garage door. I stayed where I was until the garage door had closed.

“Earth to Emma…” Mom said. I was still staring at the garage door. I slowly turned my head toward her. “Oh, yeah. Jacob stopped by, said he hopes you feel better.” I giggled, as I had heard the whole conversation.

“I feel better now that I can be who I am supposed to be.” I walked around the car and into the house. “I just wonder how some people that we know will take me being Emma.” Mom sat her purse on the counter and then turned and looked at me.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I think that you will find that most people are accepting of you, Emma. You’ll probably have a boyfriend one day, that won’t care that you were once a boy because from what I can tell you are all girl inside and have been for quite some time. You know what we should do?” I tilted my head. I had no idea what we should do.

“What should we do?”

“Paint your nails.” I blinked.

“Paint my nails?” Mom smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. If your going to show off your toes,” She pointed at my feet. My toes were sticking out of the end of my sandals. “We should paint them. Let’s go find something more casual for you to wear and then we’ll paint your nails.” Mom turned and went toward my bedroom and I followed her. She went right to the closet and pulled out a teal colored polo dress and laid it on the bed. The dress had white buttons, and white piping along the collar and the hem of the dress. Mom looked at the dress, rubbed her chin and then looked at me. “Turn around so I can unbutton you.” I turned around and Mom unbuttoned my dress. “Hang the dress back up in your closet, and put the slip in your hamper. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I slid the dress off, and placed it on the same hanger that I had assumed that it had come off of that morning. Pulling the slip from my waist, I made a hook shot right into the hamper. I reached down and picked up the dress. It felt like the other polos I owned but seemed softer. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but it did. I pulled the dress over my head, and then buttoned up the placket the same way I would have done on my polos. I looked at my self in the mirrored closet door. The little girl from this morning was looking back at me and her eyes were shining. The brown ribbon didn’t go with the dress, but I had a feeling that mom was going to change the ribbon to white or teal. I slipped my feet back into my sandals as I had never liked running around barefoot. Mom appeared in my door way as I was getting ready to head back to the kitchen. Mom followed me to the kitchen and had me sit in one of the chairs at the table, place my hands on the table and was about to paint the nails on my left hand when the phone rang

Mom picked up the phone. “Hello?” she looked at me and smiled. “Hi Abby, hang on, here she is.” Mom handed the phone to me. “It’s Abby, and she wants to talk to you. I took the phone from mom.

“Hi Abby.” I said into the phone. I was surprised that Abby was calling me while on vacation.

“Hey Emma. I’m just calling to see how your appointment with Dr. Williams went.” Abby was calling me to find out how my doctors appointment went…

“It went ok, I guess. I’ve never been through this before, so I have nothing to compare it to…” Abby giggled.

“I understand that.” Abby said. “Did she tell you anything that you can tell me?”

“I might have something called Gender Dysporia.” I replied. Mom smiled, and Abby giggled again.

“You mean Gender Identity Disorder? They changed the name on it in the last few years. It’s going to take some time to actually get a diagnoses, but you’ll get there.”

“Yeah, that’s what mom said. I just know that I’m happier in skirts than I ever was in pants. I’m not sure I want to wear pants again.” Mom shook her head.

“Wait until it gets cold outside… You’ll probably change that tune. I know I did. When it’s warm out I’m skirts and dresses all the time, but once it gets cold out, I’m in pants…”

“Yeah, well, Rachel wears skirts about never, so I’m the girl here, and someone needs to be girly…” Abby chuckled.

“Nicole is in skirts as often as I am, but then again she has always seen me this way… She is also very modest. The shortest skirts that she wears are knee length. Now me, I have legs and I want to show them off.” Now it was my turn to giggle.

“That is something I’ve always thought about you. You do have nice legs.” There was silence on the phone for a few seconds, and I noticed mom giving me a strange look.

“Thanks.” Abby said. I could almost hear her blushing. In the background I heard her dad say ‘Abby, we are going to go to the beach.’ “Emma, we’re going to go to the beach, but I do want to say that when you get older, your mom is going to be helping you fight off boyfriends. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Now it was my turn to blush.

“Ok, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye.” We both hung up the phone and mom looked at me quizzically.

“Why are you blushing?” Mom asked.

“Because Abby just told me that when I get older that you are going to be helping me fight off boyfriends.”

“Or maybe potential girl friends…” Mom said, letting a grin fill her face. I stared at her. Mom didn’t respond to my staring, but rather picked my hand up and started putting a coat of teal nail polish on my fingers. She finished with both of my hands before I spoke again.

“Girlfriends?” I asked, my voice shaky.

“Yes, girlfriends. You’re unique, and you are going to be able to tell what a woman wants, and you know how a boy should treat a woman… That will make you desirable to either gender. Personally, I see you with a girl.” I blushed again…

#

Three days later I had just walked down stairs after slipping on a white sundress when someone knocked on the door. Since I was standing there, I opened it to reveal Abby.

“Come in.” I said. Abby smiled and stepped trough the door. Her pink and white striped dress swished around her ankles. Her smile was radiant as usual. She hugged me.

“How are you, sweetie?” she asked. She was still taller than me, even with the two inch wedges I was wearing.

“I’m good. What brings you by?” I asked hugging her.

“Well, I thought that if it was alright with your mom, we could go to the park and have a little picnic and talk.”

“Let’s go find out.” I said, leading the way toward the kitchen.

“Emma, I was getting ready to make lunch, what did you…” Mom looked up from her magazine. “Oh, Hi Abby.”

“Mrs. Fisher, I was thinking that Emma and I could go and have a picnic and talk.”

“That’s fine with me, Do you have a watch, Abby?”

“No, but I do have my cell phone.” Mom’s eyebrows went up.

“You have a cell phone?” Mom asked.

“Yeah. Mom and dad thought I should have one after I transitioned. I’ve never needed it, but it’s always there. Dad always knows where I am.” Mom’s face turned to a look of confusion

“How does he do that?” In a way I was curious, but at the same time I was afraid that I would end up on the end of this type of leash…

“He enabled the parental controls features on the phone, it won’t call anyone but him or the police after ten pm. He can track the location of my phone, and it sends him a text message at certain times when something happens like I arrive or leave school, arrive or leave home. Nicole doesn’t have this yet, but she will. Dad’s extremely protective of his daughters.”

“I would say…” Mom’s eyes flicked to me, and I knew what was going through her head. “Not half a bad idea. You girls go have your picnic, Emma, be home by 7.” Abby and I smiled at each other.

“Yes, Mommy.” I said.

“Emma, I’m going to run some errands, so if you guys come home and I’m not here, I want you to stay with Abby, Ok?”

“Ok.” I smiled at her, but she had me wondering what she was up to…

Abby and I walked around the corner to her house to pick up the supplies for our picnic. After we had gathered the required supplies: sandwiches, blanket, picnic basket and some fruit, we headed off toward the park.

“Your dad tracks your phone?” I asked as we walked.

“Yes. He says he does it because he cares and has been concerned for my safety. He wants to know when I get home from school and get to school. I have to tell him that I’m going somewhere because he knows where I am. I made that mistake once. I got grounded for two weeks and my phone would only call dad…” We found a clear spot of grass and I spread the blanket out and Abby sat the picnic basket down and we sat next to it.

“You told mom that he and your mom started tracking your phone right after you transition.”

“I got the phone right after I transitioned. There had just been quite a few attacks on people like you and I out west. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I watch everybody.” Abby reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a bag of grapes. She offered me some, which I took. “Some of the attacks were bad. One of them occurred in a middle school, and we’re not that far away from being in middle school. My phone is on me all the time, if I leave the house without it, I get in trouble, if the battery dies, I get in trouble. So I make sure it’s charged and that I have it.”

“I have a feeling that I’m going to end up with a new phone some time today.” I said.

#

“Daniel, It’s Sharon. I have a question for you, if you could call me when you get this message, I’d appreciate it.” Sharon said, leaving Daniel a voice mail. She turned her attention back to her laptop where she was researching cell phones…

#

I walked over and threw the empty baggies that we had brought our lunch in into one of the many trash cans scattered around the park. As I walked back to the blanket, I noticed that Abby was watching me intently. When I sat down, Abby smiled at me.

“What?”

“You pull off being a girl better than I did last year. Your movements are graceful, you walk just like a girl does. Unless someone knew what was between your legs, you are a girl.” I blushed at the mention of parts of the human anatomy.

“I do? Have I always done that?” Abby pursed her lips together.

“Yes…”

“It would make sense, I am a girl inside…” I smiled. Abby smiled back and gave me a hug.

“I know you are. I actually wondered how long it was going to take before you finally did something about it.”

“I wasn’t planning on getting caught. It just kinda happened. I think that Mom knew though. Rachel had been complaining that someone was getting into her stuff for a while. If it wasn’t mom, then who was it.”

“I understand that. I just kinda knew and came right out and said to mom and dad that something wasn’t quite right and that I thought I should be a girl. They bought me a few dresses and that was when I started wearing dresses. They saw that I acted much more feminine than masculine. The rest is history…”

#

Abby and I walked up to her house and I stopped before we started up the driveway. Sitting in Abby’s driveway was Mom’s car.

“What’s your mom doing here?” I shrugged and started up the driveway. Abby followed me and pulled out her key so that we could enter the house. Right as Abby went to stick her key in the door, Nicole opened it.

“Hi Emma. Your mom is here.”

“I noticed.” I said holding the door open for Abby. I followed Abby and Nicole into the kitchen where mom and Mr. Jenkins were sitting.

“Hello, Mr. Jenkins.” I said, curtsying. Daniel chuckled.

“Why did you do that?” Mom asked.

“I’ve never done it and wanted to?” Abby giggled.

“Silly girls.” Daniel said. “Have a seat, girls.” Abby and I exchanged a glance and then sat at the table. “Abby, Sharon told me that you told her about your phone.” Abby glanced from me to mom to her dad.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. But don’t go telling just anyone that I can track you phone.”

“Yes, Daddy.” Abby said. She sounded like she was about to cry.

“Emma,” Mom said. “I had been thinking about getting you a cell phone for a few months, so today I went and got you one. Like Abby’s it can be tracked, and it will only call four people after 9 pm. It will call me, Abby, the police and Abby’s dad.”

“Abby, your phone has added Emma and Sharon.” Abby and I looked at each other. “I’m sure that Abby has told you the rules that she has to follow with her phone.”

“Those rules are the same ones you have to follow with your phone. Emma, I know that right now you don’t have any pockets, We will go get you a little purse after we get dinner.” Mom said, handing me a cell phone. I looked at it. It was bubble gum pink. I flipped it open and looked at the inside of it. It looked like the phone that mom had used before she got her Android powered phone.

“Are you girls hungry?” Abby’s dad asked. Abby and I looked at each other again. This was almost like it had been scripted…

“Yes.” Abby said.

“I am too.” It had been about four hours since Abby and I had eaten our light picnic lunch.

“Then lets go get something to eat.” Daniel said. “Where’s Rachel?” he looked at mom.

“She’s sleeping over at Lizzie’s. So it would have just been Emma and I. What did you have in mind?” Mom asked.

I rolled over and woke Monday morning to the sound of the alarm on my new phone going off. The sound was annoying enough to wake me up, which I considered to be a good thing. As I picked up the phone to figure out how to shut the alarm off, mom knocked on my door.

“Morning Emma,” Mom said. “Abby will be here at ten so the two of you can go shopping… You know, like girls do. May I pick out something for you to wear?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, pulling the covers up to cover my head to try to block out the light from the rising sun. I groaned as mom pulled the blankets off to reveal the white shirt and pink shorts that I had slept in.

"Come on, get up and go get a shower," Mom said, a smile on her face. It's too early to be smiling… I thought to myself as I stood and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I looked in the mirror and the face of a sleepy little girl looking back. Grabbing my white robe from the hook next to the mirror, I headed for the shower. Ten minutes later I was back in my room, still drying my hair. Mom had placed a dress with a blue paisley skirt and an almost denim colored bodice. There was a pair of white panties with little blue polka dots all over them laying on top of the dress. On the floor a pair of white sandals sat, waiting for a pair of feet to pop into them. I dressed and then looked at my self in the mirror, trying to decide if I should do something with my hair. In the end I grabbed a white headband and slipped it in my hair. It held my hair back out of my eyes, and I happened to think that I needed to get my bangs trimmed so that they hung just above my eyebrows. Leaving my room, I grabbed the little white purse that mom had hung on the door knob and slipped my phone into it. I skipped my way downstairs to the kitchen. Mom was standing in the kitchen waiting on the coffee pot to finish brewing. When my shoes clicked on the floor she turned to look at me.

“How do I look?” I asked, a smile crossing my face.

Mom smiled. “Beautiful, as always. That dress looks perfect on you and brings out your eyes.”

“Do you think that Abby will like it?”

“Yes, I do,” Mom said, pulling the pot out of the coffee maker and pouring herself a cup. I love the smell of the stuff but couldn’t stand the taste of it. I made a bowl of cereal and sat at the table to eat it. Mom brought her coffee over and sat at the table.

I paused my eating and looked up at mom. “Do you think that I could go to school as Emma?”

“I think that you should talk to Dr. Williams about it and see what she says about it.” Mom said, sipping her coffee. “I have no problems with it, but there will be some of your classmates that won’t understand.” Just at that moment the door bell rang. I smiled as I jumped up and scooted off toward the front door. I opened it to reveal Abby, standing there wearing a pair of tight jeans, a black and white striped tee shirt and a pair of sandals.

“Come in!” I said, not even trying to conceal the dimples that I knew were visible. Abby’s face turned to a smile as she saw the dimples. Abby came into the house and gave me a good look over.

“I feel over dressed…” Abby said, with a giggle.

“You look fine,” I replied, leading the way to the kitchen. “Mom felt that I should dress up a little bit.”

“No, You said I could pick out what you wore,” Mom said, a smile in her voice as Abby and I entered the kitchen. “I think you look nice.”

I smiled, but hey, a girl loves complements. “Thank you.”

“Abby, have you eaten?” Mom asked.

“Yes,” Abby replied. “Dad made waffles for Nicole and I before he would let me leave the house…”

“Ok, I wanted to make sure.” Mom said, after taking a sip of her coffee. “Emma, finish your cereal before I run you two to the mall.”

I sat down and finished my cereal, eating quickly. After I stood up, Abby held her hand out to take the empty bowl and spoon.

“Go grab a sweater or something, you’re gonna need it when we get to the mall,” Abby said, removing the bowl and spoon from my hand. I nodded dumbly and headed for Rachel’s room, knowing that I didn’t own a sweater that would go with the dress in either of my wardrobes. I knew that Rachel had a white button down cardigan hanging in her closet, or at least she did, it had been hanging next to the dress that mom had caught me wearing. After I had grabbed it, I headed back to the kitchen. I slipped my arms into the sleeves as I descended the stairs and buttoned the top button as I entered the kitchen. Abby looked at me and smiled.

“That makes the dress even cuter…” Abby said, “And you’ll stay warm when we are at the mall and the AC is trying to freeze us to death. Why do you think I’m wearing jeans?” She giggled.

Mom rinsed out her coffee cup, and sat it next to the coffee maker. “Alright, girls, if you both have your phones,” I patted the small white purse that I had carried down stairs, and Abby patted her back pocket. “Then out to the car, I’ll run you guys to the mall and will pick you up later.” Abby and I headed into garage and got in the back seat of the car. Mom came out a few minutes later and climbed into the drivers seat, opened the garage door and started the engine. She backed out and paused briefly to close the garage door and then we were off to the mall.

Mom pulled up to the front door of the mall and stopped the car. She rummaged around in her purse for a few seconds before turning back to face Abby and I. She handed me some cash. “You girls go have fun, and get some clothes. Abby, if you would be like the big sister that Emma doesn’t have and help steer her? I know that I’m her mother, but children are stubborn and don’t listen to their parents.”

Abby giggled. “Sure thing, Mrs. Fisher.” Abby glanced at me, and then back at mom. “Since you are giving her money, is there anything that you want us to pick up for her?”

“No, it’s more of a just in case,” Mom said. “Emma, anything that you don’t spend, I would like back, but if you girls get hungry, get something to eat.” Behind us, a horn honked. “You girls get going, and I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” Abby and I got out of the car and watched as mom drove away.

“Lets go shopping, sister.” Abby said, walking toward the door. With her being a little bit taller than me, I had to take large steps to catch up with her. “You’re not gonna dawdle like Nicole does when we go shopping, are you?”

“Nope,” I replied, catching up to her has she waited by the door. The warm air blowing around my legs felt nice and was still a relatively new sensation to me. “I want to find something to wear to school on the first day.” Abby stopped just inside the front door of the mall and because I was looking in a display window, I ran into the back of her.

“You’re starting school as Emma?” She asked, guiding me toward a bench.

“I don’t know,” I said, sitting. “I still need to talk to Dr. Williams about it.”

Abby glanced around the busy mall, knowing that there was a time and place for everything and this was neither for this discussion. “We should discuss this, but this is not the place for it.” Abby took my right hand in both of hers. “After I talked to Dr. Brown about possibly going to school as Abby, there was a lot of work that I had to do, and even more that daddy had to do before I could attend school as myself.” Abby paused and looked around the mall again. “What did you have in mind for your debut outfit?”

“Hmm…” I sat there in thought for a few seconds watching people walk by, “Definitely a skirt, or dress but I’m thinking a skirt and a blouse. I just don’t know what’s out there.”

“Well, lets go shopping rather than sitting here talking. Knowing you and I, we will end up getting something to eat later.” Abby said, standing, I watched as Abby turned a few heads of a group of guys that had walked by before they saw me and assumed I was her little sister. “We can a little bit then.”

“Ok,” I said, standing. My dress tickled my thighs as it fell back to my knees. I had goosebumps on my legs from the air conditioning, just as Abby had predicted, but my upper body was warm enough thanks to the cardigan that I had snatched from Rachel’s closet. “Good thinking on the sweater, Abby.”

Abby smiled. “I’ve been cold and then not been able to enjoy shopping. I guess I’m sort of your big sister, it’s my job to look out for you.” She stopped to look at map of the mall, trying to figure out our first move. Finally she looked down at me and smiled. “Follow me.” She turned and headed deeper into the mall. I stayed with her, not wanting to get lost. Finally we stopped outside of a popular shop for tween girls. In the window was a mannequin that had on a short royal blue plaid skirt and a royal blue tee shirt with the logo for the store on it. The skirt, I liked. The top, not so much…

“Hmm,” I said out loud, causing Abby to look at me. “I like the way the skirt looks, but not so much the way the top looks…” I said out loud for Abby’s benefit.

“You prefer plain tops?” Abby asked, walking through the door into the store.

I followed Abby in and gazed around the store. In one of the back corners hung a display of button down shirts. Not quite what I had in mind, but they would work. Abby followed me this time, toward the back of the store, where she finally saw the blouses. “I think a white button up top would look cute with that skirt.” I said, gazing at the choices in front of me.

“What about a plain blue tee shirt?” Abby asked, turning toward a display full of colorful tee shirts. She found a royal blue shirt, the same shade as the plaid in the skirt. Abby grabbed a skirt and held the two together on her so that I could see what the whole outfit looked like.

“Ok, we have a winner.” I said, while starting to giggle. Abby smiled and dropped the skirt and shirt over her arm. We looked around the store before finally checking out and walking toward the food court. Out of nowhere, Shane Barker and three of his friends blocked our path.

“Well if it isn’t Abby Jenkins and that little pansy Justin Fisher,” Shane sneered. Abby must have sensed something that I didn't’ because she pushed me toward a set of doors that led into the service corridor. She stopped momentarily to tear a map that listed the fire exits and various other safety features for the service corridor that we found ourselves in. Abby took my hand and then started running. As we turned the corner that would take us the same direction that we were already going, I heard the doors to the service corridor open and slam into the wall.

I had to stop. My side was aching to the point where I thought that I was going to throw up. Abby slid to a stop next to an open door to the back of a store and bolted through it, dragging me behind her and then quietly closing the door. I turned and looked right into the wide eyes of a balding man, probably in his mid thirties.

“You guys can’t be back here,” He said, his voice full of astonishment, probably not used to having two almost teenaged girls come running in the back door of his shop. There was a thud on the door behind Abby.

“Call security,” Abby said, her voice almost not audible because she was trying to catch her breath. I wasn’t as bad as Abby was. “We were being chased by four boys, who are from the sounds of it still in the corridor.”

“Open the door you pansies!” Shane shouted from the other side of the door. The shopkeeper dropped the bag of trash that he had been holding and called security. After he hung up the phone he looked at the two of us.

“Are you girls alright?” he asked.

“We will be,” Abby said, her cheeks starting to return to their normal color.

A few seconds later two mall security guards appeared, and I heard a small scuffle on the other side of the door. One of the guards, a woman in her twenties crouched in front of me. I was crouching, almost under a desk, my arms wrapped around my knees, and probably showing my panties.

“You can come out, sweetie. It’s safe now.” She said, her voice full of compassion.

I glanced at Abby, who had stood and was walking over to me. She held out her hands and helped me up. “Are you ok?”

“Twelve twelve to sixteen twelve, can you open the back door?” one of the radios warbled.

“I will be.” I said after Abby had helped me up. One of the security guards opened the door up and they escorted Shane’s three friends in, but Shane was nowhere to be found.

“Are these the young men that were harassing you two young ladies?”

“There was a fourth,” I said. “His name is Shane Barker.” I looked around for my purse. “Where’s my purse?” I was still holding the bags from the store, but my purse was no where to be found. I was pretty sure that I had it when we had entered the corridor. Abby looked at me, the floor where I had curled up under the desk, and even in the bags from the store.

“Let me call it,” Abby said, pulling out her phone. A few seconds later, someone answered my phone that was not me. Abby handed the phone to one of the security guards.

“Good Afternoon, Sir,” the guard started on the phone. “I’m Officer Jackson with Mall Security, we had a report that a young ladies phone was stolen. This is the number she gave us.” Officer Jackson pointed at his microphone that was clipped to his shirt and pointed at the floor. The other four guards turned down their radios. ‘He’s in the food court’ Officer Jackson mouthed. One of the other guards nodded and walked into the service corridor. “Ok, you just found the phone laying in the hallway by the restroom and were taking it to customer service?” The guard that walked into the corridor nodded and spoke into his phone.

“We’re gonna take these three and the two girls to the office.” Officer Jackson nodded, and gestured for Abby and I to follow him into the corridor. The two other guards were already five hundred feet ahead of us in the corridor. We had a guard in front of us, and one behind us, I felt like I was a princess or something. When we got to the security office, which turned out to be a pretty drab affair. There were several rooms, the most interesting being the one right after we had walked into the office. It must have been the command center for the mall’s security team. TV monitors showed various parts of the mall, including service corridors. I had wondered why Abby had chosen to go that route rather than just scream for help. She knew that someone would be watching and see six kids running down a corridor that they weren’t supposed to be in. The guards led Abby and I to what appeared to be a break room.

“What are your names so we can document everything in the report?”

“Abigail Lynn Jenkins” Abby said. I smiled at her. The name worked, and the guard wrote it down on her little note pad. She turned her attention to me.

“Emma Michelle Fisher.” The guard scribbled my name in her pad and smiled at the two of us.

“Do you girls need to call anyone?” she asked, tucking her pen back into the pocket on her uniform.

“We can’t,” Abby said. “My phone is with one of your people, and,” Abby tilted her head toward me. “Her phone is currently unaccounted for.”

“Right.” The guard said, smiling. “Use that phone right there, and dial nine to get out.” She pointed to a phone that was mounted on the wall. Abby had just picked up the phone when the door to the security office slammed open and three guards were carrying Shane in, carrying my now soaking wet purse.

“Put me down you rent a cops!” Shane shouted, “I’ll have your jobs…” I watched as the three guards unceremoniously dumped Shane in one of the small rooms and pulled the door shut.

“Was that this Shane Barker person?” The guard that had taken our names asked.

“Yeah,” Abby said. The guard walked over and handed Abby her phone. Abby looked at it and saw that she had missed several calls from her father and my mother. Abby looked at her phone as it rang again. “Hi Daddy.” Abby glanced at me. “Yes, we’re fine.” There was a pause, and then, “I don’ t know what happened to her phone exactly, but her purse is soaking wet. If her phone is in there, it’s cooked. Ok, I’ll call her.” Abby hung up the phone and looked at me. “Your mom is freaking out, your phone dropped off the tracking screen, and your mom is going nuts.” Abby handed me her phone. “Call her.” Before I could dial, mom was making Abby’s phone ring.

“Hello,” I said into the phone. Before I got a got a chance to say anything, mom was talking.

“Emma, Are you ok? Do you need me to come get you?”

“Abby and I are fine, we had a run in with Shane Barker, I think he stole my purse, all I know is one of the guards just carried it in the security office and it was soaking wet.”

“Ok, I’m with Daniel and we will be there shortly.” In the background I could hear Daniel on the phone, talking to someone and then car doors shut. Abby’s phone beeped and I saw that Mom had simply hung up, I presumed that she wasn’t happy. Abby and I had nothing to do but sit and wait for our parents to show up.

Abby and I were still sitting in the security office when the door opened and Shane’s dad walked in, followed by three police officers. The door had shut when it opened again and in walked mom and Abby’s dad. All six of the adults walked into the break room where we sat. Shane’s dad walked over to us and crouched down.

“Girls,” Mr. Barker said. “It does not please me to have to apologize for my son’s behavior yet again. He didn’t cause you two any harm, did he?”

Abby and I both shook our heads, and then looked at each other as Mr. Barker stood.

“Miss Fisher, May I accompany you and your daughter to a phone store, I will pay for the replacement cost of the phone.” He said. Apparently someone had told him about my phone.

#

The four of us sat around the table at Abby’s house discussing what had happened that day.

“Why did you go into the service corridor?” Mom asked.

“It appeared to be the only way to get away from Shane and his cronies.” Abby said. “I knew that there were cameras covering the service corridors. Six kids would surely attract the attention of someone…”

“You took a gamble, Abby, and it worked. This time,” Daniel said, a smile on his face, but also a look of concern. “Hopefully there won’t be a next time, but if there is just start screaming. I would imagine that people will respond to two little girls screaming bloody murder.”

“As would I,” Mom said. “You know it just so happened that I accidentally opened the application that would let me see your location in time to see the dot drop off the map. I immediately called Daniel and had him track Abby’s phone knowing you two were together. We really were concerned when Abby’s phone dropped as well. Must have been the service corridor that you two were in. I’m just glad that you two are ok.”

“I wonder if Shane’s dad is going to make him wear dresses…” I wondered aloud. Everyone looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“What are you talking about?” Mom asked, a look of bewilderment crossing her face.

“After Shane tried to out me at the restaurant, his dad hinted at putting Shane in dresses to punish him,” I replied, a smile crossing my face at the picture of Shane in a frilly pink dress. “That wouldn’t work for me…”

“How do you remember this stuff?” Mom asked. “And no, putting you in dresses wouldn’t have worked for you. I’d have to take them away.” She smiled at me. “Daniel and I do have a question for the two of you, though.”

Abby and I shared a glance, wondering what was going on.

“What’s the question?” Abby asked, her left eyebrow raised. I noticed Mr. Jenkins and mom share a look and a small smile.

“Would you two watch your sisters friday night, here at our house?” He asked. “We can make it a sleep over.”

“I don’t have a problem with that.” Abby said.

“I think it will be fun.” I said. “Are you guys going on a date?” Mom and Daniel shared a wide eyed glance and then they smiled at each other.

“Yes.” Mom said, somewhat hesitantly.

#

Abby and I were walking through the park after we had gotten permission to do so. Both of our parents were slightly on edge after the incident at the mall. It was slightly satisfying seeing Shane and his cronies taken from the security office at the mall in handcuffs.

“Does it sound like our parents are going to start dating?” I asked Abby as we found a bench and sat down.

“Yeah,” Abby said. “I think that it is good that daddy is at least looking. Plus, I think that it would be awesome to be your older sister, even if it is only by a year.”

I smiled at Abby. “I know. Mom’s done a great job of raising Rachel and I, but I think that she needs someone else, an adult.”

“I hope it works out between them,” Abby said. “Also, if you do go to school as Emma, you’re gonna need some pants. You can’t go around wearing skirts when there is four feet of snow on the ground.”

“I could, but I would have some really cold legs…” I said, a giggle escaping my lips. “I understand what you mean though. Do you think that my mom would let me wear those really tight jeans that most of the girls seem to wear?”

“Do you mean skinny jeans or jeggings?” Abby asked. My face must have shown my confusion as I wasn’t familiar with either term. “Skinny jeans are just slightly tight,” She pointed to her own jeans. “These are skinny, jeggings fit snuggly from the waist to the ankle.”

“Hmm… I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe a little bit of both?” A smile crossed my face.

“We should ask and try to find out what she says.” Abby said, standing. The sun was starting to set in the western sky, which meant that we needed to get back to Abby’s. After I had stood, Abby wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we walked in silence back to her house. When we walked into Abby’s house, our parents were sitting on the couch in the living room talking. Abby and I walked in and sat on the love seat.

“Emma, we need to go pick up Rachel and get home. You have an appointment with Dr. Williams tomorrow at nine,” Mom said.

“Ok.” I said, standing. Abby and Mr. Jenkins stood as well and I gave Abby a hug and a promise to call her when I got home from the appointment. Mom and I switched people and I gave Mr. Jenkins a hug as well, and he gave me a kiss on the forehead. It felt nice, and right at the same time…

Mom parked the car in the garage and shut off the engine. As we got out to go into the house Jacob decided that it would be a good time to stop by. This time, mom had locked the door so I had to wait on her to come over and open it.

“Hello, Mrs. Fisher.” Jacob said.

Mom turned to look at Jacob. “Oh, Hi Jacob. What brings you by?”

“Just wondering how Justin is feeling, haven’t seen him around much lately.”

“He’s actually at his Aunt Sharon’s for a few weeks, His cousin Emma is visiting though…”

Jacob looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and blushed at the same time. Now I think I knew how every girl that I had ever ogled felt. The wind started to blow and the hem on my dress started to rise. I still wasn’t sure how girls ever got used to the feeling of the wind blowing up their skirts. It made me feel vulnerable and that still scared me. I heard the phone in the house start ringing, and Mom used that as an excuse to get me into the house. I think that Mom could tell that I was getting uncomfortable. As a boy I still hadn’t started to really look closely at girls and as a girl I was uninterested in boys. I made it into the house and to the phone in time for it to stop ringing and my cell phone to start ringing. Pulling the phone out of the pocket on my dress, I saw that the caller was Abby.

“Hello.” I said into the phone, aware that my voice didn’t sound quite right.

“Hey, Emma, what’s wrong?’ Abby asked. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that Abby could just hear my voice and know that something wasn’t right.

“I think that Jacob likes me like that…” I stammered into the phone.

“Jacob Westfield?” She asked. She knew of most of the kids in my class that I may interact with.

“Yeah,” I said as Mom came in the door. “He was looking at me the same way I’ve looked at girls and it kind of made me uncomfortable. Also, Mom told him that I’m my own cousin as well, and I think that may cause problems later if Emma goes to school.”

“Hmm… I can see that causing problems. What do you mean that the way he looked at you made you uncomfortable?”

“It’s hard to explain, almost like I was prey and he was the hunter. Do you still get that feeling?”

“Yeah, I do.” Abby said. “You think that your mom would let us try to go to the mall again? Dad can take us over.” The last time we had gone to the mall, we had a run in with Shane Barker and a few of his friends. Mom had been hesitant to let me out of the house alone since then.

“I don’t know.” I said. “I can ask.”

“Ask what?” Mom said, overhearing that part of the conversation.

“If I can go to the mall with Abby.” I said, biting my lip.

“Who is taking you?” Mom asked.

“Her dad said he would run us over. We’ll be good, I promise.”

“I know you would. And it’s ok if you go, just try not to have any run ins with Shane or his cronies.”

“Thanks Mommy.” I said. I had a feeling that Abby had heard the entire conversation.

“We’ll be by in about twenty minutes to pick you up. I need to finish getting ready.”

I smiled. “Ok, I’ll be ready. See you in twenty minutes.” Mom was digging around in her purse, probably looking for money to give me. She handed me some cash and smiled.

“Maybe I can get some work for Tom done while you are gone and and Rachel is at Lizzy’s.” Mom said. “Call if you need anything.”

“I will.” I said, walking over to give Mom a hug. I had spoken to Dr. Williams about going to school as Emma, and based on what she could tell and the fact that only one person that I knew had made me at all was pretty impressive. We still needed to talk about it some more, but for the moment, I think she was leaning toward giving that a go ahead. Of course, I looked like a girl and got more ribbing for looking like on than I did a boy, but that was a different story.

“We are going to be going out with Daniel, Abby and Nicole for dinner tonight, so try not to eat anything when you two are at the mall. I’m sure that Abby will be getting told the same thing.” Mom said and then picked up the stack of papers that she had placed on the table.

“Ok.” I replied. Mom and I had eaten on the way home from Dr. Williams office, so I wasn’t that hungry right now anyway.

“I’m going to the den, if you need something before you leave, that’s where you can find me.” With that, I ran upstairs and changed out of the sandals I wore and into a pair of gladiator sandals. I figured that wearing the flat sandals would be easier on my feet than walking around in the two inch cork bottomed sandals. When I got back to the bottom of the steps, there was a knock on the door. I opened it to reveal Abby, who was smiling and wearing a knee length white skirt and a pale pink tee shirt. My own sundress was a pink plaid, and hit about the same place that her skirt did.

“Mom!” I shouted down the hall, so that Mom could hear me. “I’m leaving with Abby. See you in a few hours.”

“Ok, Have fun and be good.” Mom’s voice floated down the hall. I stepped out in to the sun, pulled the door shut and followed Abby to her dad’s Tahoe. After buckling in, we were off to the mall.

Abby’s dad pulled up to the the food court entrance of the mall and Mr. Jenkins finally said something about how quiet we had been on the drive over. Normally we were chatterboxes in the car, so I think that he knew that something was up.

“Girls, have fun,” He said. “Sharon, Nicole, Rachel and I will meet you here around four. If we are going to be late or early, I’ll call you.”

“Ok daddy.” Abby said.

“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Jenkins.” I said, opening the door to slide out. As soon as my feet hit the ground, Abby was standing there, ready to guide the way into the mall. Once we were inside, Abby led me to a smoothie shop that was generally quiet so that we could sit down and talk. Abby led me to a chair and sat me down.

“Sit.” She said, not sitting down her self “I’ll be right back.”

I nodded and watched her go. Her only stop was the counter to order us both a smoothie. She was smiling as she came back over, offering a smoothie.

“Thanks.” I said, taking the proffered smoothie. I took a sip, noting that the flavor was strawberry banana. I didn’t recall telling Abby what my favorite flavor of smoothie was, but hey, the girl knew things… Abby sat across from me and took my left hand in her right hand, which was cold from carrying the smoothies.

“So you think that Jacob Westfield has the hots for you?” She asked. Her tone wasn’t condescending or jeering; but I think she could tell how shaken up I was by his ogling.

“Well, he certainly looked at me like I was a piece of meat that he was about to go try and hunt. Do you ever get used to that feeling?”

Abby glanced around the small shop, which other than us contained two other customers, both in their mid thirties, if one were to guess. “I’ve not gotten used to it, and I don’t think that genetic girls get used to it either. I know that there have been times when Shane had given me looks up and down and that made me uncomfortable. We’ve gotten a few looks from people passing by and some of them have left me feeling uncomfortable.” She sipped her smoothie. “I think that our genetic couterparts just learn to deal with it.”

“I wonder how many of them feel uncomfortable at times?” I sipped my smoothie, savoring the strawberry banana flavor.

“Probably quite a few. I know that I tend to feel more uncomfortable when I’m wearing a skirt and the shorter it is, the worse that feeling is for me.” Abby said. “Even wearing some of the tight pants that I have makes me uncomfortable. It seems like girls clothes are designed to show off their bodies… Have you talked to your mom about pants yet?”

I shook my head and spun so my back was to the wall and I could look out into the concourse and watch people go by. “Not yet,” my attention was diverted to a gaggle of girls that was coming into the smoothie shop. The six girls that made up the gaggle were all in shorts and tank tops. “Maybe I should get some shorts for now when it’s still warm out.”

“Probably,” Abby said. “Did your mom give you any money?”

“Yeah,” I sipped my smoothie as I watched the group of girls. “She gave me forty dollars. Why, What’d you have in mind?”

Abby finished her smoothie. “We should get you some shorts or capris or something… Skirts are nice, but sometimes a little bit of variety is good.” Abby stood and I followed her lead as we walked into the concourse. Abby made a quick stop by a map of the mall and then turned to her right. When we finally stopped again, we were standing outside of a shop that catered to tweens. I took the last drink of my smoothie and dropped the cup in a trash can we passed on our way into the store. Hanging just inside the entrance was a display of pants that looked like they would stop at the shin. Abby saw my expression and leaned over to whisper in my ear. “These are capris. They are shorter than pants, and usually a little thinner. I think they are comfortable.”

I nodded and picked up a pair of denim capris. We browsed around some more before we finally decided to check out and go look at some other stores. Not seeing anything that piqued our interest, we called for Abby’s dad to come pick us up..

“You know that white short sleeved shirt that has the eyelet trim around the neckline that Rachel has?” Abby said suddenly.

“Huh?” I responded. I had been watching a pair of girls walk into the mall, amazed at how much I acted like them before I even came clean abut my dressing habits.

“There is a shirt that your mom got for Rachel near the middle of the school year that is white and has an eyelet trim around the neckline.” Abby said, watching the girls go past. “That shirt, the capris we bought and the sandals you have on now would look cute.”

“Maybe I’ll wear that for my appointment with Dr. Williams tomorrow…” I said. “Speaking of Dr. Williams, I asked her about going to school.”

Abby’s eyes lit up. Her bright green eyes had a brilliant sparkle when she was happy. “And?”

I smiled at Abby as I sat on a bench. “Well, she said we need to talk about it some more, but with hers and mom’s blessing, I might be attending school as Emma.”

Abby sat next to me and smiled. “The first day is probably going to be the hardest, but eventually, most everyone will forget about Justin and you will have always been Emma.” That was as far as the conversation got as Abby’s dad pulled up outside the doors that we sat inside of. Mom was sitting in the passenger seat, and because the back windows were down, I could tell that Nicole and Rachel were in the third row, leaving the second row open for the older sisters to sit in. Abby and I walked out, with me holding the bag from the tween shop that contained my new capris. I knew the shirt that Abby was talking about and I also knew that Rachel had worn it exactly once, it was to a company picnic a few days after mom had bought her the shirt. As we got in the SUV, Mom turned to look at us.

“What’d you guys get?”

“I bought a pair of capris. Abby seems to think that the capris, the shirt that you bought for Rachel before the company picnic last year and the sandels I’ve got on now would look good together.” Mom gave me a look up and down as I buckled my seatbelt.

“I can see that…” Mom said turning back toward the front of the car and squeezing Daniel’s hand. I watched as Daniel took a glance at mom and then smiled. Abby and I shared a glance, both of us not missing the glance that was shared between them and the squeeze of the hand.

“You can have that shirt, it’s too girly for me…” Rachel said from the back seat. She was sitting behind Abby so I was able to turn and see her. Just like I thought, she wore a pair of denim shorts and a white spaghetti strapped tank top. She had a pair of blue and white sneakers on her feet. Mom turned around and smiled at us.

“Emma, you can wear that to your appointment with Dr. Williams tomorrow.

“I don’t have an appointment with Dr. Williams tomorrow…” I said, the confusion evident in my voice.

“She called and left a message this morning after you left about wanting to see you in the morning. The appointment is at ten.” Daniel pulled the SUV into the parking lot of a restaurant and parked the car.

#

After we had been seated, and the waiter and delivered our drinks, Mom and Daniel told us something that shocked us.

“Daniel and I have been dating for about three weeks.” Mom said, looking at the four of us. It wasn't hard for her to do, as we were seated around a round table. Mom and Daniel sat next to each other and then it was Abby and I, and to my left Nicole and Rachel. Her eyes looked at Abby and I first, and then Rachel and Nicole.

“It’s about time, Dad…” Abby said suddenly, but with a hint of laughter in her voice. Daniel looked at Abby and started laughing, causing the laughter to spread around the table. Just then the server came back up and looked at us.

“Looks like we’re having a good time,” He said. “What can we get for you to eat?” He went around the table, staring with Mom and working his way around the kids before finishing with Daniel. He disappeared into the kitchen again and we settled into talk of what had happened that day. Abby reached over and took my ponytail out, letting my hair down and cascade around my shoulders. When I turned and looked at Abby, she just smiled at me.

“It was getting loose anyway,” she said, “If we had the hair ties, I’d put it in pigtails…”

I smiled at Abby and then turned to look at mom. “Any clue why Dr. Williams scheduled this appointment on such short notice?”

“Nope, but she said that she wants me there as well.” Mom said, before sipping her soda.

“Hmm…” Abby said, thoughtfully. “I’ve never had her do that… I still see her once a month for blood work to keep my levels correct.”

“Guess we’ll find out tomorrow…” Mom said. “Right now, lets eat.” She could see the kitchen from where she sat and could see our server bringing the food out to the table.

#

We had gone back to Abby’s after we had eaten and were all sitting in the living room talking. There was some classical composer playing quietly on the surround sound system that was attached to the TV that sort of blended into the background.

“Why do you think that Dr. Williams wants to see you tomorrow?” Abby asked.

“No clue, but I bet it has to do with me going to school as Emma.” I replied. Mom turned and looked at me. Apparently the whole doctor-patient privilege applied even when you were under eighteen…

“You’ve spoken to Jill about going to school as Emma?”

“Yeah.” I replied, nonchalantly. “I’m just thinking ahead.”

“Just like her mother…” Mom replied. “Just so you know, I support what ever she thinks.”

I smiled at Mom and then at Abby. This was good information to know. “I mean, I’ve only been living as Emma for the last 2 months, well, one month really.” I said, realizing that my math was slightly off. “ The first month was only after school and weekends. “Isn’t there a name for living full time as a girl when you’re a boy?”

“Real Life Transition.” Abby answered. She would know, she’d only been going though it for the last two years at least. “It’s how you know for sure that transititoning to the other gender is for you.”

“Yep,” Mom said, standing. “Emma, Rachel, we need to get going. I want Emma to be rested for this appointment.”

Abby and I stood and smiled at each other, both of us hugging. Nicole and Rachel did the same thing and Mom and Daniel hugged as well.

Mom backed the car into the parking spot outside of the building that housed Dr. Williams’ office and shut off the engine. We got out and I felt the cool air hit my legs. It was rather cool for early July and I felt small goose bumps form on my exposed legs.

“Let’s go, Emma,” Mom said, walking around the back end of the car. I had elected to wear a purple plaid skirt and white tee shirt. Something didn’t seem right about coming to this appointment wearing anything other than a skirt or dress. Mom and I walked into the building and took the stairs to the third floor. I was glad that I had worn the white ballet flats that I had rather than my sandals, both so my feet stayed somewhat warm and so that my feet weren’t hurting. When we walked into the reception area, Mallory, smiled at us.

“Emma,” She stared. “You guys can go on back, her nine o’clock canceled on her, so she’s free.” Mallory shrugged.

“Ok,” I replied heading for the door that would take me back to where Jill’s office was. “Thanks, Mallory.”

“You’re welcome sweetie,” She replied as I went though the door and headed toward Jill’s office. When we got to the door, it was closed, so I knocked.

“Come in,” I heard Jill’s voice from the other side of the door, so I opened it and mom and I walked in. “Have a seat.” She motioned to the couch. Mom and I sat, and I noticed that Jill was watching me closely. She had been watching me ever time I came into the office to see how my mannerisms were. Jill picked a bunch of paper up from her desk and walked over and sat across from the two of us.

“Why the sudden meeting, Jill?” Mom asked, glancing at her.

“What have you and Emma discussed in the last few days?” Jill asked.

“Well,” Mom started. “Emma had mentioned to Abby last night that she had spoken to you about going to school.”

I watched as Jill smiled. “Yes, Emma and I have discussed school, and that is why I asked you guys to come in on such short notice.”

“Ok,” Mom said, sounding confused. I knew that she trusted Jill, but it sounded like mom really didn’t get what was going on.

“I have some papers for you.” Jill said, turning her attention to the stack of papers that she had sat on the table. She picked the top one up and handed it to mom. “That is my determination that Emma has, in fact, been diagnosed with gender identity disorder. You can take this and, if you and Emma want to, get her name changed.”

I glanced at mom and smiled.

“The rest of these papers are for you to give to people in official positions that need to know about the fact that Emma is now Emma.” Jill turned her attention to me. “Emma, This doesn’t mean that we are done having sessions, quite the contrary.”

“Ok,” I said quietly, for some reason feeling like I was being chastised. “Does that mean that we are still meeting tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Jill said, “It does, at four thirty like usual.”

“Ok,” Mom said, nodding.

“Have you two discussed a name change?” Jill asked, looking from mom to me. I let mom answer that question.

“We have,” Mom said, “But not overly discussed it. She picked the name Emma Michelle, but I’d like some say so in her name…” She wore a strait face until she finished talking and then burst out laughing. “Actually, I like the name.”

“You would be surprised how many parents have an issue with the names that their child chooses…” Jill said. “Even if they are adults…”

* * * * *

“If it’s ok with mom,” I said into the phone as mom backed into the garage. “I will come over and talk to you about what we discussed…”

Mom glanced at me and knew that I was on the phone with Abby, So she nodded. No words were necessary.

“She said I can come over.” I said into the phone. “Let me run upstairs and get a sweater and I’ll be there in a few.” I was cold from the fact that it was cool outside and I was wearing a skirt that stopped about three inches above my knees. I grabbed a white cardigan and headed back out the front door. “I’ll be back later, Mom. I’m heading to Abby’s”

“Ok,” Mom called back from the small office that was on the first floor of the house. “Tell Daniel that I will be by later.”

“Ok!” I shouted, and headed out the door.

* * * * *

Abby and I were sitting in her room on her bed talking. “So you are going to be going to school as Emma, huh?”

“Yep,” I replied, toying with the hem of my skirt. Truth be told, I was kind of nervous about going to school as Emma, but I also had one heck of a support system in place.

“What are you going to wear on the first day of school?” Abby asked.

“I don’t know yet,” I said, smiling at Abby. “Mom said she gets to pick that until I graduate. Knowing her something cute, and probably not pants…”

“Maybe we should match…” Abby’s eyes sparkled at the idea. “Maybe even get Rachel and Nicole to match us as well…”

“Not if we are in skirts…” I chuckled “Rachel won’t wear a skirt even if you paid her…”

“I take it that your mom has tried that tactic?” Abby chuckled.

“More than once,” I replied. Abby and I heard the front door open and then heard Mom’s voice. I had relayed Mom’s message to Daniel, so he knew that she was coming over. Abby smiled at me and took my hand, and led me toward the living room. As we left Abby’s bedroom, I knew that one chapter of my life had closed and another begun.

Finis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note: I may come back and revisit this story at some point, but right now, I’m planning on focusing on some other stories as well as focusing on school work.