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Author's Note:Sometimes life takes a sudden left turn into absolute weirdness. If you’re unlucky enough for that to happen, you know without doubt that nothing at all is ever going to be the same as it was.
 

To think I started the day thinking it was going to be a good one. Well it should have been, but I’ll get to all that in a while here. I’ve been told it’s best to tell a story from the beginning so that’s what I’m going to do. I hope.

I’d taken a few days off work, I was a network administrator for a large and well known company, because one of my oldest friends was going to be in town for a few days and I’d promised to show him around and all the attendant stuff a thirty something ex geek would do with an old friend. Okay, not so ex geek after all, but at least now I had money, a good job, and a fiancée.

My phone beeped that I’d received a message and I checked to find that it was from aforementioned fiancée Carolyn Masters. “Dylan, just a reminder that our reservations are made for dinner and Fiona is really looking forward to meeting Sam. See you there, dear.”

With a grin, I texted her. Wouldn’t miss it, love. Then headed out to meet Sam.

Oh, yeah. Dylan, that’s me, or was, Dylan Thomas Ames. And yeah I know. Trust me I caught all kinds of crap over that name when I was growing up and still do off and on, and no, I’m not in the least of a poetic bent. I’m a techie, period. Oh I still enjoy SF and Fantasy books and movies, but trust me, I wasn’t one to try and write the stuff.

My friend, Sam, Samuel James Walken, and I had met in high school. We were a pair of geeks who spent a lot of time avoiding the bullies and other hazards of high school geekdom. Sam went on to get an engineering degree and was now owner and operator of a successful contracting business. I was looking forward to seeing him again and was abuzz with plans for the day and evening. He’d shown me the town when I visited him in St. Louis, and I fully intended to return the favor now that he was in Kansas City.

So I was waiting for him at the airport. He hadn’t driven because he had a series of meetings in New York once our three day fling was over with and would fly straight there from here. So I was playing chauffeur along with tour guide over the next few days.

“Hey, Sam!” I waved as he left the gate and joined him on the way to baggage claim. “I brought a cart, just in case.”

Sam was big, like in NFL linebacker big. He’d shot up to six feet plus and over two hundred pounds after high school leaving poor me in the dust there. Oh, I was fit — worked out in the gym every day I could, but my own slender five eight frame was pretty well dwarfed beside him.

“Still keeping that runner’s build, I see.” Sam grinned as we shook hands. “Still looks good on you, Dylan.”

“And you still look like you terrify quarterbacks for a living.” I chuckled. “How you been?”

“Good, good.” He answered. “Business hit a winter lull, so I decided to take a few days off, like I told you. So you’re getting married?”

“Yeah.” I nodded with a smile. “Carolyn’s a great gal, I think you’ll like her. She has a friend named Fiona who’s going to be with us tonight and let me tell you, if I wasn’t already with Carolyn and she wouldn’t gut me and smoke what was left for even thinking this, I’d go after her in a heartbeat.”

“But you haven’t have you?” Sam winked at me.

“Hell no.” I answer with a sigh. “That wouldn’t be right, or fair to Carolyn or Fiona. Plus I’d feel like a blue ribbon jerk if I even really did more than fantasize about it off and on.”

“Once a geek…” Sam chuckled.

“Always a geek.” I laughed. “We just can’t not look at pretty girls, you know, even if they are out of reach.”

“Too true, my friend, too true.” Sam joined my laughter as we loaded his luggage onto the cart.

Once in the car and on the highway headed south towards Kansas City proper (KCI is north of town by a few miles) we started talking again. “So, anything in particular you’d like to do while you’re here?”

“Well, there is the Rams/Chief’s game Sunday.” He answered.

“Got the tickets already.” I answered. “Fifty yard line just high enough to see everything.”

“Great.” Sam grinned evilly. “I should warn you that I intend to wear my Ram’s jacket to the game.”

“Like I expected less?” I chuckled.

There was some kind of distortion at the edge of my vision, not anything really annoying, just a bluish shimmer. I blinked and shook my head and it seemed to be gone. Sam gave me a look and I shrugged. “Just something in my eye, it’s okay.”

“There’s a con in town I’d like to visit if you don’t mind.” Sam told me after shaking his own head and giving me a curious look that faded back into his usual grin.

“Yeah, Com Con.” I nodded. It was fairly big, and well organized comics and gaming Con, and I’d expected Sam to bring it up. “I think we could spend the day there, but we have to meet Carolyn and Fiona in the plaza at eight.”

“Good enough, buddy.” Sam nodded and I took the exit that would get us to downtown and the convention center where the con was being held. Hey! What can I say? We’re both still geeks and enjoy things like that.

Once in the parking garage we headed towards the elevators when Sam stopped and looked off to the side. “You see that?”

That was the shimmering in the air I’d noticed on the drive from the airport, except it was bigger, a lot bigger. “Uhh, big blue shimmery thing off to the left there?”

“That’s it.” Sam nodded while getting a thoughtful look on his face. “What do you think it is? Some gimmick for the Con?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t think they were allowed to play in the parking lot.” I answered warily as the thing grew some more and started in our direction. “Just in case let’s get to the elevators now.”

“Good plan.” Sam answered.

Before our hindbrains had time to scream ‘RUN!’ the thing had expanded and swooped in on us.

The blue thing swallowed us. Just like that. One second we were in a normal parking garage then next…

“What was that thing?” Sam questioned as he slowly untangled his bulk from my own slender one and carefully stood up.

“Don’t ask me.” I groaned — he’d landed on top of me when we were unceremoniously dumped on the stone floor of wherever that weird blue disk had brought us. “More to the point, where are we?”

“Good question.” Sam answered while we both gave our surroundings a look. Stone walls, dressed and fitted, stone flags for flooring, and one really solid looking wooden door at one end made of what looked like planks big enough to be railroad ties. Oh, yeah there were torches on the walls. But those burned without smoke and flames they gave off were an unwavering yellow-white that didn’t seem to give off heat. Which would have been welcome if we hadn’t been dressed for being outdoors in December. The place was kind of chilly.

Sometimes, for some unlucky people, life veers suddenly to the left into something so weird you just know things are never going to be the same again. Obviously, this was one of those times.

Which got us back to where we were. Ten by ten room, made of stone, torches, no furniture or even a pot for emergency calls of nature, really heavy door — locked, we checked that first thing once the shock wore off a bit — and with not the slightest idea about what had happened to us or what this place was.

“I don’t think we’re at the convention.” I let out a sigh. “Or even in Kansas any more.”

“It was in Missouri.” Sam absently answered while still checking out the stonework.

“Whatever.” I said while trying to make sense of what had just happened to us.

“Alien abduction?” Sam questioned once we’d exhausted any ideas for getting out of the place.

“Nah.” I shook my head. “I can’t see aliens using stone in their spaceships, can you?”

“Probably not.” He admitted. “Then what?”

“Uhh, I think we’re about to find out.” I pointed at the door as the sound of a heavy bolt being thrown was followed by it smoothly and noiselessly opening outwards. Well, at least it didn’t creak ominously…

“Is that armor their wearing?” Sam questioned probably to avoid discussing what our captors looked like. They sure weren’t human, or little green guys.

They were green, sort of, but big. Bigger than Sam, with rough looking skin, little red eyes set deeply into sockets of skulls that would have looked right in place on a gorilla, except for the jagged fangs protruding from their lower jaws. And they were wearing armor, leather, iron, and some steel it looked like. Oh yeah, they were brandishing some very real very nasty looking swords and axes in gestures which I belatedly figured out meant they wanted us to go with them.

“Uhh, yeah, it’s armor.” I agreed then added as the biggest one began to look impatient with us. “I think we’re supposed to go with them.”

“Hope they aren’t hungry.” Sam whispered as we left the cell surrounded by the creatures. Oh yeah, they smelled really bad. Like a combination of carrion and lack of a bath for like — all their lives.

“What are we going to do if they are?” I questioned. “Give them indigestion? I can’t think of anything else right now.”

“Me neither.” Sam answered quietly.

We were hustled down more stone corridors, lit by the same kind of torches our — umm — cell had sported. There were arches along the way, but all we could really see were rapid glimpses of large chambers that were too dim to really make much out, or brightly lit ones that glittered with gold, and what looked like silk in an eye branding riot of colors.

Our escort harried us along until our group stopped in front of a huge set of doors made of some dull grey metal guarded by a pair of things even bigger than our aromatic companions. And no, they didn’t smell any better either.

One of those pushed open the enormous doors and again we were hustled along without being given time to even look at where we were going. The doors, by the way, closed with a very final sounding thud behind us.

Sam and I were moved to stand in circles surrounded with some kind of writing that began glowing softly once were inside them — separate circles, by the way then were left to catch our breaths and take in our surroundings.

Surreal comes to mind as a description. Hogwarts gone bad is another thing I thought of.

The place looked like a combination of old fashioned chemistry lab, library, and soup kitchen. There were tables filled with glassware, some of it containing things that fumed, burbled, and did other unpleasant things, shelves of huge books with what had to have been scrolls scattered into the mix, and some kind of big pot at a simmer at one end. “Is this where we become dinner?”

“No, human.” A deep, amused voice answered and I turned to see where that came from. I was kind of sorry I did.

He looked like something out a really bad fantasy movie, or an old D&D source book. Tall, cadaverously pale, thin enough to appear emaciated, wearing shimmering robes of some dark material that actually hurt to look at, and had the prerequisite long white beard, even if it was a bit on the wispy side. With a long mustache that went with the beard.

Oh, yeah, his eyes were solid black, no pupil, or iris, just black. And they were looking right at me.

“I am Kae’song.” He, it was a he gave me a long careful looking over then smiled with teeth sharp enough to scare a self respecting shark. “Welcome to my citadel.”

Great. We’d landed in some weird, and really bad Fu Manchu movie.

 

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Author's Note:Sometimes life takes a sudden left turn into absolute weirdness. If you’re unlucky enough for that to happen, you know without doubt that nothing at all is ever going to be the same as it was.
 

Kae’song , whatever he was took some time looking us over, never losing that uncomfortably predatory smile as he circled first me, then Sam. “Yes, the two of you will do quite nicely, quite nicely.”

I edged away from the guy, and bumped into the inside of the circle, only to jump away with a yelp as what could only be described as an electrical shock convinced me that touching the boundary was a really bad idea. “Do nicely for what?”

He gave me a contemptuous look then shrugged. “I suppose that your ignorance is understandable, human. I intend to improve you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam questioned, having found the same thing I had about the circles we were in and still rubbing his shoulder. He’d tried getting out harder than I had and showed the angry red of a burn under the rent fabric of his clothing.

“Just what I said, human.” The bad Fu Manchu imitation answered imperturbably. “As you two are, you are slightly out of synch with this world, I will simply make it easier for both of you to — fit in I believe the term is in your language.”

“How to you plan on doing that?” I questioned, though I wasn’t all that anxious to find out. But I hoped that keeping him talking would postpone whatever he’d planned even if there didn’t seem to be much hope of the cavalry showing up to save us.

“By changing you, of course.” He answered. “Once that is done, you will both be part of this world so should encounter no problems living in it. At least no more so than others here do. But this talk wearies me. There will be time for answering fool questions later.”

“Is this going to be painful?” I asked as he gathered things from a nearby table.

He spared me a look that held mixed contempt and amusement. “Oh, yes. But you’ll survive it.”

Wonderful. Just great. I never did care much for pain, did I mention that?

Kae’song started placing objects around the circle I was in while humming to himself as if he were simply someone puttering away in the garage, checked the placement then fussily picked up a piece of crystal and set it back in what looked like exactly the place it had been in before. “Almost ready.”

“I can’t wait.” I managed to get out. “I don’t suppose there’s a way to talk you out of this?”

“No.” Was all the answer I got.

Well, I had to try.

He moved to the cauldron, remember the simmering pot I mentioned? Well, it’s a cauldron, and took a dipper full of some noxious looking brew then poured it into a ceramic mug. Once he had that he returned to stand in front of me and simply handed me the mug — through the whatever it was that held me inside. “Drink that.”

I looked into the mug, to my regret and my stomach lurched and did its best to crawl down to where I got rid of certain bodily wastes. It was a putrid greenish brown and burbled and churned as if it resented being confined within the mug. The smell wasn’t all that appetizing, either. “Uh, no?”

“Drink.” He commanded, not just ordered, mind you. I could tell the difference. And my body turned traitor as my mouth opened slightly and my arm moved to bring the nasty stuff to my lips. Then my turncoat hand poured it down my throat.

“Gah!” I shook my head and grimaced once it was down. Then my terminal smart assed self blundered back into things. “Your hospitality really needs some work, you know.”

“It will improve, human.” He assured me with a grin. I’ve heard of evil grins, even seen a few that were supposed to be. Trust me those others weren’t. Not at all. “Now be silent and don’t distract me.”

“Urk.” Was all I could get out before my voice refused to work any longer.

“And hold still.” He added. I froze as if I was covered in concrete and couldn’t do anything else but wait. It wasn’t a long wait.

Our captor took a final look at me, nodded, opened a scroll and started reading aloud in a string of gibberish full of slurred clicks, grunts, and wails. And I started feeling warm, really warm. Then the tingling started, a tickle on my skin — I was suddenly naked, too and inanely wondered how he managed that — that grew from a tickle on the outside to feeling as if my insides were being prodded, moved around and stirred.

The warm feeling escalated into hot then unbearably incandescent, okay maybe just like being broiled or something, and I started to hear crackles, pops, and sounds like leather being stretched. Only the sounds were coming from me.

If I could have screamed then would have been a really good time for it. As it was, just when I thought I couldn’t handle any more things got worse and I blacked out. Not such a bad thing with all that was happening to me taken into consideration.

I drifted back to something like reality but didn’t open my eyes. I wasn’t sure what I’d see when I did for one thing, and then recalled the threat, or promise to change both me and Sam to fit into this world better. That I really didn’t want to think about too much to be honest, but knew I’d have to sooner or later.

Okay, later it is, I decided while carefully taking inventory of myself and what I could feel without moving.

For one thing, thankfully, I didn’t hurt. At all. In fact I actually felt better physically than I had since I’d been a kid. The knee I’d messed up running downhill a bit too fast didn’t announce itself with the usual dull morning ache, and a bunch of other little pains I’d gotten so used to they were just normal were absent. I briefly wondered if I was paralyzed and unable to feel, but that wasn’t the case. I very carefully flexed the fingers of my right hand and felt them do that. Then dug my nails into my palm.

Yikes! I felt that one for sure, and thought it was past time to trim my nails, too given how sharp and piercing the pain had been.

I was lying on a bed. A nice soft bed that felt sooo good. With a little sigh I let myself just savor the idea that I was still alive and not in pain while not moving at all. About that time I started noticing little things that didn’t quite feel right. But before I could really get my head wrapped around that an unfamiliar voice interrupted me. It was a nice voice and made me feel good to just lie there and listen to it. A deep tenor filled with lovely overtones and undertones that stroked my ears like nice fuzzy velvet.

“I know you’re awake, Dylan.” The owner of that voice informed me. “You might as well open your eyes and get it over with now.”

“Don’t want to, mom.” I muttered and something was not quite right with my voice but I was still too out of it to wonder much about that. “Ten more minutes? Please?”

“Now, Dylan.” The voice insisted.

“You’re not Mom.” I protested, still without opening my eyes. “Who are you?”

“It’s Sam, Dylan, now come on, open your eyes and try to sit up.”

“Sam?” I questioned, reluctantly opening my eyes. “You don’t sound like Sam.”

“Yeah, well trust me you don’t sound like Dylan, either. That freak said he was going to change us, remember?” He tossed back to me. “Now please, wake up and try sitting up.”

“Oh, yeah.” I agreed opening my eyes all the way and trying to push myself up to a sitting position. Something was giving me trouble with that, like my arm was wrapped up in silk or something and I felt a sharp pain in my scalp while trying. “Oww!”

My vision was still pretty fuzzy, so I carefully untangled my arm thinking I had a lot better tan than I’d thought then managed to actually sit up and look towards the person claiming to be Sam.

One hand almost impatiently moved up and brushed aside the fuzz in my vision. That turned out to be hair. Lots of it. Lots of thick, soft, wavy, snow white hair. “Huh?”

Then I saw my companion.

Oh. My. Gawd!

He was huge, heavily muscled though slender — his muscles were sleek instead of bulky, handsome in an inhuman way with his sculpted features, pointed ears and heavy mane of snowy white hair. His Sapphire eyes watched me carefully and with more than a little concern. Oh, he just happened to look like polished ebony come to life.

“Sam?” I looked around and didn’t see my friend. So turned back to the stranger. “Where’s Sam?”

“Dylan, I am Sam.” The polished ebony god come to life gently answered with a small twist of his mouth I recognized from my friends facial expressions. “Or I used to be.”

“Sam?” I questioned in a small voice then the sound of my own voice finally actually registered. “If that’s you, what happened to me?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” He assured then grimaced. “As for what happened to you, I don’t think you’d believe me if I just told you. Check yourself out first, while you’re still on the bed.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded, feeling a weight I knew to be hair move as I did, while other weights moved on my chest. So I looked down.

“No way.” I breathed while staring at a nice set of rounded breasts from an angle more appropriate for my fiancée to see them from.

“Way.” Sam disagreed as my hands, slender with long smooth fingers hesitantly reached up to tentatively feel the invaders on my chest.

I felt the silk of the green garment I was wearing, both with my hands and the alien protuberances and felt those strange looking hands touch myself through the soft, slick material.

“I’m a girl?” I questioned, almost belatedly noting that my skin was a deep chocolate color and completely hairless, smooth, and in short, perfect beyond human. “I’m a girl?”

“Uhh, yeah.” Sam nodded slowly and I could see him watching me carefully. “Actually I’d say you’re well beyond just the ‘girl’ stage.”

“A girl.” I mumbled again then idiotically wondered if I had hair at the crotch and if it was the same color as the stuff on my head. I gingerly lifted the hem of what I now recognized to be a gown of some kind to check. Yup, on both counts. I stared for a few seconds that seemed like forever, my brain still not completely taking in the lack of things I was used to seeing down there and the presence of other things I generally saw from a completely different angle. “Oh, boy.”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded and slowly moved to stand beside me and took one of my hands. I marveled at how small mine looked in his as he offered. “Let me help you up, there’s a mirror over there you can use.”

“Mirror.” I nodded and let him gently pull me to my feet. Pretty feet, I’d noted almost idly before I really got sat up. Walking was kind of tough. My balance was way off and my hips didn’t work right for some reason. If he hadn’t had a good hold on me I would probably have tumbled into an undignified heap on the floor right beside the bed. “Yeah, need to look.”

My balance adjusted pretty fast, after several steps actually and I noticed that I wasn’t swinging my shoulders any longer while I did that from the hip now. Sam led me to the mirror then carefully let go so I could just look.

“Holy Shit!” I gasped once I really looked.

“Yeah, holy beauty queen, Batman!” Sam answered.

The image I was looking at was sure that at the very least. Where to start, where to start?

Face, since that was what I started staring at. The most arresting feature were her eyes. Large, almond shaped, with a subtle upward tilt at the outside edges and they were a brilliant, gem-like green that almost glowed on their own. Those were framed with thick, lush lashes and surmounted by thin crescents of brows that were more accentuated than human women could manage even with work. Oh, the brows and lashes were snowy white, too.

Oh, yeah, the rest of the face. Heart shaped, with a firm small chin, smooth soft sweep of jaw and high full cheeks, with a full mouth that was naturally red, and a small straight nose. The overall effect was almost Asian or a mix of Asian and something else. My features were delicate and didn’t appear to belong to a human girl at all. The beauty I was staring at was inhuman and just to announce that the delicate points of my ears showed through the mass of hair whenever I moved my head.

Then there was the body that went with that face. Not exactly slender, but not over endowed, either. Slim shoulders, smooth arms, full firm breasts arrogantly standing out from the narrow chest, a small waist that curved delightfully into the outward swerve of hips that were definitely female, and I could just stare in disbelief.

And legs! You’ve heard the phrase ‘legs up to her neck’? I had those kind. Long, smooth, and leaving no doubt they belonged on a female at all. Trim ankles joined those to delicate little feet and that was about it. Oh, no hair at all other than head and crotch, and my skin shone with a perfection that wasn’t possible without airbrushing.

Overall I looked athletic, like a swimmer or a gymnast, and there was no way to doubt the sex of that body any more than there was with the face.

“That’s — me?” I squeaked in what I later found was described as a silky contralto.

“Fraid so, Dylan.” Sam answered then let out a sigh. “You are now officially BABE ALERT material.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and the woman in the mirror did the same thing as her hands reached up to touch her ears. I felt those and closed my eyes. “I’m female, and fricking gorgeous. AND WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE EARS?!!!”

“Ears?” Sam questioned with a puzzled expression. “You’ve been given a sex change, a change of race — I think we’re elves now, by the way — and all you can do is complain about your ears?”

“If I yell about anything else just now,” I told him with what I thought was very commendable calm, “I’ll go into hysterics and may never come out of them.”

 

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Author's Note:Sometimes life takes a sudden left turn into absolute weirdness. If you’re unlucky enough for that to happen, you know without doubt that nothing at all is ever going to be the same as it was.
 

I managed to stave off the hysterics, barely.

“Oh, maaan.” I moaned, back sitting on the bed with my face in my hands and wishing I’d never opened my eyes that first time around. “This is not going to go over well with Carolyn.”

“I really think that’s the least of your problems right now, Dylan.” Sam, the new Sam, who seemed to draw my eye with every move he made quietly pointed out.

“Oh, I can see it now.” I muttered, ignoring him as best I could. “Hi, Carolyn, it’s me, Dylan. Of course now I’m this really gorgeous girl who probably isn’t even human. Oh, yeah, I’m black, too. Still want to get married?”

“Dylan! Get hold of yourself!” Sam urged in a slightly louder voice. Yeah that voice that stroked me like the best chocolate fix a girl could ever want. Now what made me think that? Worry about it later…

“Which parts?” I questioned and giggled. I mean I actually giggled and it really embarrassed me. “Oh, gawd, this can’t be happening.”

“It’s happening.” He insisted and I felt his hands — those strong hands — grip my shoulders and give them a little shake. I almost purred then shook myself out of it to look up at him. “Okay, okay. So now what?”

“I don’t have a clue.” He answered, moving away from me with an odd look on his face. “I do know we’re locked in, though. It’s still a cell, just fancier than the one we were in when we came here.”

“Well at least that’s consistent.” I let out a sigh and did my best to ignore just what that did to my chest. “Why did you wake up first? I know I got — changed before you did.”

“He told me my transformation wasn’t as extreme as yours was. So I never passed out completely.” Sam shrugged then grimaced. “And it wasn’t as painful as yours seemed to be.”

“Lucky you.” I groused. “Probably because you didn’t get the complimentary sex change with the trip.”

“Like it was my choice?” He asked, getting exasperated with me for a second then let out a heavy sigh. “Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you there, but instead of trading little barbs maybe we should start thinking about what we do next?”

“I’m open to ideas.” I spread my arms and gave a shrug, then a tentative smile. “Sorry, I’m not even used to being a girl yet and I’m already being a bitch. Okay, so what do you know since you’ve been awake longer than I have?”

“Not much, to be honest.” He answered tiredly. The rooms have windows, but they’re on a balcony that looks down into a really deep canyon or something. I couldn’t see any way to climb either up or down and believe me, I looked hard.”

Sam’s favorite hobby was rock climbing, so I took his word for that. “Okay, what else?”

“We seem to be in a castle of some kind, and it’s really high up on a mountain.”

“How could you tell that?”

“Clouds.” He said with a little shrug. “Below the balcony.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded then got up and started to look around. “I’m going to check out our prison for now. Maybe that’ll give me an idea.”

“Go ahead.” Sam nodded and seated himself in a chair that looked way too decadent to be legal even if it did appear very comfortable. “I’ll just enjoy the view.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I glared at him.

“Well, you have to admit, I’m still very male, and you are, umm,” he at least had the grace to look a little embarrassed by the admission, “really nice to look at, after all.”

“Get this straight.” I told him. “I’m NOT, most definitely NOT your own personal eye candy, so forget whatever it is working its way through that mind of yours. Got it?”

“Yeah. Got it.” He nodded, but I could see a grin trying to escape his solemn expression.

With a sigh I decided to take what I could get and started looking around.

Wardrobes, one with male clothing the other filled with flimsy looking gowns, halter tops, and what seemed to be long loin cloths. Oh there were panties in a drawer at the bottom. Wonderful. I gave the delicate sandals a sneering glance. At least they didn’t have heels.

There was a table with a mirror on it that was covered with brushes, combs, cosmetics, and small bottles of what must be perfume. I couldn’t help myself, I just had to sniff at those.

Floral, nope. Spicy, again, nope. Then the third one just kind of grabbed my nose and insisted. It had a delicate floral scent mixed with a spice that smelled wonderful. Without thinking I dabbed some to my wrists and at the base of my throat then set the bottle down with a grimace. “I’m beginning to think this change isn’t just physical.”

“Makes you smell even nicer.” He offered.

“Don’t even go there, Sam.” I warned.

“Just saying...”

“Yeah, I know what you were saying.” I grumbled. “Just try and forget it, all right? It’s me, your old friend Dylan here and I’m not even close to ready to try out the new equipment, if you get my drift.”

“ A pity.” Another voice entered the conversation. I gave a startled yelp and spun around to see that creepy Fu Manchu guy standing in the room. “Especially since I took pains to make sure the two of you are a bonded pair.”

“I’m not even going to ask what that means.” I managed to answer while backing away from him until I was pressed against a wall and couldn’t get any further. “Now that you’ve had your fun, could you maybe change us back and we’ll all have a good laugh over beers about this?”

“Oh something so crude as beer, or ale, isn’t for you my lovely Dahlia.” He answered with a smile I didn’t like at all. “Fine wines would be more in keeping with your new self.”

“Who’s Dahlia?” I questioned with the sinking feeling I already knew the answer.

“Why you are, my dear.” He answered simply and let that sink in. “Just as your mate is now called Samthien. New names to celebrate your new lives.”

“Oh.” I answered intelligently.

“Now come, dear.” He went to a table and poured something from a pitcher into three fluted goblets. “Join me and your intended in a celebratory drink.”

“My intended?” I asked then what he had said about Sam finally penetrated. “Mate?”

“Indeed.” Fu Manchu, I couldn’t quite recall or even pronounce his name, nodded with a smile. “You two are bonded to each other as a male and female in the traditions of your new people.”

“Yeah, I do need a drink.” I answered and stalked forward to relieve the table of one goblet and took a deep drink. Grimacing, though the stuff actually did taste pretty good, I held it out for more. “Probably more than one.”

“You’re upset, lady.” He nodded understandingly. “Don’t fear, that will soon pass. Now that your physical selves are properly aligned with this world your mind will settle into your new reality soon enough.”

“I don’t know whether to look forward to that or fight it.” I admitted, wondering why I wasn’t cringing away from him any longer. “And just what are we now, by the way?”

“You and your mate,” I winced and really wished he would stop calling Sam that, “Are of the Dhro’aaa. Your people are offshoots of the High Elves, though the two branches of that race have diverged greatly since their beginnings.”

“Dhro’aaa.” I nodded then snapped my head up to stare at him. “Do you mean Drow?”

“So your kind are called in the world you came from.” He nodded.

“Cave dwelling, evil elves?”

“Precisely, lovely lady.” Kae’song, what a time to remember the guy’s name, agreed with a smirk. “Your kind is both feared and hated by just about every other race in the world.”

“Oh great.” I grumbled and shook my head. “Okay, I’ll bite. Just why did you decide to turn us into these Dhro’aaa?”

“Why that should be clear enough, Dahlia, my dear.” Kae’song shrugged. “I wish to gather more of your kind without the unpleasant baggage just taking some would entail. Your people are not the kind to offend lightly. Also, you will make a most impressive and daunting handmaiden for me when meeting with both allies and rivals.”

“Handmaiden.” I nodded then narrowed my eyes. “Hold on a minute here, just how do you plan on ‘acquiring’ more like us?”

“That should be reasonably clear, dear.” He shook his head. “You are clearly intelligent enough to work that out.”

I looked at Sam, then into the mirror, then back to the sorcerer, or whatever he was with a very sick, sinking sensation in my stomach. “You can’t possibly expect…”

“Ahh, that is precisely what I expect, dear, beautiful, Dahlia.” He smiled almost beneficently at me then gestured to Sam. “I fully expect you to breed.”

“Urk.” Was about all I could get out before things got kind of wavery then went away.

 

 
Author’s Note:Sometimes life takes a sudden left turn into absolute weirdness. If you’re unlucky enough for that to happen, you know without doubt that nothing at all is ever going to be the same as it was.
 

<strong>

I woke up to something really noxious being passed under my nose and a confusing blend of voices. My eyes snapped open and I swung a hand to get that nasty smell away.

A startled female face, human, widened her eyes, squeaked, and suddenly disappeared. I didn’t worry about it at the time and coughed, shook my head and worked to get things into some sense of order.

“She’s awake.” I heard and recognized that voice as the Fu Manchu guy.

“What the Fu….?!!!” I managed to get out.

“Calm Dahlia, the Fu Manchu guy soothed. “You’re frightening your maids.”

Maids? I actually opened my eyes and sat up. Then looked around for the maids I didn’t even know I had.

Sure enough, there were three young women, barely past being girls, huddled in a corner and trying very hard not to look at me. “Maids?”

“Yes, maids.” Kae’song, answered with a shrug. “They are here to serve you.”

“Oh.” I nodded, perplexed and looked at the poor girls. Then gave them a little wave and a tentative smile. “Hi?”

All three looked at me as if I was some baby eating devil who had just given them candy that wasn’t poisoned. Though if this world’s Dhro’aaa were anything at all like the Drow in D&D, I kind of understood that.

I smiled, and gave them a little wave again. “I won’t eat you or anything gross, I promise. I don’t bite either.”

That ‘I promise’ thing made them feel better and I felt something slam into place that would make sure I didn’t bite or eat them. Magic. Go figure.

“Are you going to do that very often?” Sam questioned once I’d finished with the terrifying my maids thing.

“What thing?” I asked. “Making people not scared of me?”

“No, the fainting thing.” He sighed.

“Give me a break, Sam!” I shot back. “It only happened once.”

“No, you passed out during the transformation, too.” He countered.

“That doesn’t count!” I glared at him. “You passed out too, didn’t you?”

“Nope. Remember? I told you I didn’t earlier.” He answered with a superior grin that I really wanted to claw off his face. Okay, okay, the girl thing was getting really creepy here, but I did my best to ignore that.

“Oh, right, you didn’t pass out. According to you. I, of course, wasn’t awake to verify that one.” I looked at him and that look dared him to lie. Somehow I knew that I’d know if he was doing that.

“I didn’t, really.”

I gave him a really nasty look, and growled, but the growl sounded horribly like a purr. “Okay, you try going through what I did and see how well you deal with it, Jerk!”

I’d scared my maids again. Crap.

Then again it occurred to me. Why exactly did I need maids?

Back to business. I glared at Sam and Fu Manchu and noted that my hands were on my hips and my stance was — well, kind of sexy in a girly way that I really didn’t want to think about too hard just then. The theories that say the body rules? I think they’re right. Sigh.

“Well?” I questioned while giving Sam the gimlet eye that Carolyn had inflicted on me when I’d really screwed something up. “Maybe I could get Fu Manchu here to do to you what he did to me. I’ll bet your attitude would change then!”

Sam just stared at me. Typical guy response to something like that. And since when did I think like that? Never mind. I am so not going there right now.

“Oh, I don’t think so, my lovely Dahlia.” Kae’song chuckled. “You two are a carefully crafted, bonded pair. Your bond was given in the traditional way, with blood and promises.”

“I don’t remember that.” I shot back.

“You were unconscious.” The mage, or whatever, informed me. “Since, in a way, I am your father, I gave your blood and promised you.”

“You what?” I actually shouted that time, and my poor maids were trying to find cabinets to hide in.

He smirked and shrugged. I turned to Sam and asked. “Okay, so who made that ‘promise’ for you?”

He actually looked uncomfortable with that question and was obviously not all that willing to answer.

“Saaammm.” I grated out. “WHO made that promise for you?”

“Well…” He shrugged and gave me a weak grin. “You were sooo beautiful, and looked so vulnerable just then…”

“So you, in your right mind if that is possible right now,” I sighed. “Agreed to — umm — marry me?”

“Uhhh, yeah?” He answered with a flinching grimace.

“What were you thinking?!!” I screamed, I mean really screamed. Stuff on shelves in the room shook. My maids were long gone by then.

“Like we had a choice?” He managed to ask in a very reasonable tone of voice. “It was either that or let you go play with the orcs.”

“Orcs?”

“Yeah, those ugly guys we first saw?” He answered.

I turned on Fu Manchu with a glare. “You would have done that?”

“No.” He smirked. “But the threat was effective.”

“Go away.” I sighed while I very carefully sat on a couch and started massaging my temples. “Just go away, all of you. Now please.”

I shouted at their retreating backs. “And Kae’song, don’t expect me to start calling you DADDY!”

After that I just sat there grumbling, cursing, and working my hands over my head because of the headache I was having.

This was one epic fuck up.

“Safe to come in now?” Sam quite carefully peered around the doorframe to the bathroom as he asked that one.

“I suppose.” I let out a sigh and sank deeper into the nice hot, scented, sudsy water of my bath and waved him in. Oh, my maids had returned, hesitantly, but insisted that I take a nice hot bath to soothe my obviously frazzled nerves. At that point I didn’t have the heart to argue and the bath really did feel good.

“Sorry?” He offered.

“For what?” I asked tiredly. “I am one lucky — umm — girl. I have fiancées on two worlds.”

“You’re not still mad?” He questioned.

“No, I’m too tired to be mad right now.” I said while lifting one leg out of the water and rubbing a sponge over it without thinking about the effect seeing that would have on him. “And stop staring, please.”

“Can’t help it Dy — umm — Dahlia.” He answered quite honestly while obviously thinking of something I knew I wouldn’t like.

“One, just one, joke about The Black Dahlia, or Barbie Dahl and I swear I’ll kill you if I have do it when you’re sleeping.” I told him.

“Can’t blame a guy for thinking.” He answered guiltily.

“No, I guess not.” I settled back into the hot water and suds with a contented sigh. “Just don’t vocalize them right now, okay?”

“I won’t.” He answered quite seriously. “Look, I know you’re having a tough time with this, and no I couldn’t even come close to understanding what you’re going through just now. I just figured it was better me than a stranger with the bonding thing. I’m sorry if that offends you, but we’ve been friends too long and thinking that someone else might get tagged for that with you wasn’t something I wanted to make you go through.”

That made me think, and forgive — a little, and I smiled. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, and for what it’s worth, thank you. Thinking things through hasn’t exactly been one of my strong points recently.”

“No kidding.” He grimaced then chuckled to ease my bristling. “I’d be a total basket case in your position, you know that? You are without doubt the strongest, most stubborn, and greatest friend I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Ahh, that’s nice.” I sighed and didn’t even twig on how girly that response was. Hormones, I blame the hormones. Yeah. That works. “But you know I’m not into that guy/girl thing? I still have this fixation of girls.”

“Figures.” He nodded and grinned. “Your maids are kind of cute, too.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” I answered. And my nipples had gone erect when I finally took the time to look at the girls. Sheesh. Double erections, and on my chest. Who’d have thunk it?

“Does that nutcase really expect us to make little Dhro’aaa babies just for him?”

“I’m afraid so.” Sam said with a heavy sigh.

“Well,” I squirmed a bit to get my back a bit more comfortable, breasts are really a strain on a girl’s back if they aren’t supported right, and rolled my eyes. “I am NOT going to be a baby machine just because he wants it.”

“I think he’s counting on biology.” Sam shrugged.

“Huh?” I once again showed my wonderful intelligence with that one.

“Face it.” Sam told me. “You’re already pretty girly and you haven’t been like you are more than a day or so. What is going to happen as time goes on?”

“NOT going there just now, Sam.” I grimaced and was close to scaring my poor maids again. I consciously pushed that mess of emotions back down. “If it comes up, we’ll deal with it. If it doesn’t, I’m not going to look for it, okay?”

“Works for me.” He answered and just sat there watching me in the bath. Have I mentioned just how dreamy he is? Uhh, nope, bad Dylan! No thinking those kinds of things about your best friend! I wasn’t a girl, not willingly, and I wasn’t going to go there. Nope, no way, no how, no chance. End of argument.

But my nipples (traitors) got all excited, and I felt uncomfortable warmth in my middle as I watched him calmly watching me take a bath.

GAH!!!

I am sooo screwed.

*whimper*

 

 
Author’s Note:Okay, weirdness is starting to feel normal. So now what? A period of adjustment seems to be in order now.
 

My maids, timid as they were, finally worked up the nerve to approach me again and reminded me that prunes aren’t pretty at all. I thought about it for a minute then got out of the tub with a sigh. Besides, the water was getting kind of cold.

Belatedly, I realized Sam was still there and staring with wide eyes, so I started to give him a piece of my mind. Then stopped. Given the way things had been going I couldn’t spare any of that, and it was too late, anyway. I gave him a slightly disgusted look as he ogled me and did my real best to ask sweetly. “Have you seen enough, honey?”

His eyes widened once I’d asked that as he took in the real intent behind the question. The poor guy managed to look embarrassed and lustful all at once, and disappeared faster than I thought was possible for anything alive. And I had such a good tantrum to throw at him, too. I decided to save it for later. Much to the relief of my maids.

“Okay, girls.” I let out a sigh as one of them gently patted me dry with a nice warm, fluffy towel. That felt really good but I wasn’t in the mood to admit it. “What next?”

Scented oils, which another of the girls gently stroked into my skin. That felt good, too. Especially when her fingers started working out the kinks in my neck and shoulders the bath hadn’t taken care of. Okay, so this girl stuff wasn’t all bad. To be honest, I almost melted then and there.

Then they powdered me. Using these big fluffy things and leaving a cloud of the fragrant powder hanging in the air that almost made me sneeze. Instead I just laughed and shook my head. Now I finally understood why Carolyn had always had that weird, dreamy expression on her face whenever I met her outside the spa.

Here I was, a girl for all of what? Maybe a day? Less if you discounted the time I’d spent unconscious, and I was already loving it. Sheesh. I was doomed. I just knew it.

“Okay.” I sighed as we all left the bathroom. “I can’t spend my time here hollering ‘Hey You’ and pointing when I want one of you to do something. So how about you tell me your names?”

The girls looked at each other and I could see the mental shrugs all of them gave then actually smiled at me and chorused. “Of, course m’lady.”

“Are you three joined at the brain or something?” I questioned with a grin. “You all seem to do things at the same time. Just wondering, you know.”

“No, m’lady.” The cute redhead answered slowly. “It is just that we were afraid of you and your mate when the Sorcerer brought us here.”

“My mate.” I let out a breath and nodded. That was something to worry about later. Right now I was gentling down the domestic help so they wouldn’t high tail it every time I started to lose my temper. “Let’s cover that bit a little later on, if you don’t mind. Just know that you don’t have to be afraid of us. We won’t hurt you.”

“You have given your WORD, lady.” The brunette responded then gave a halfway fearful look into the other room. “But he hasn’t.”

“Oh, I get it.” I nodded then shouted. “Sam! Get your butt in here!”

He poked his head through the door and did his best to avoid looking at me. “Is it safe? I mean you’re still, you know, kind of naked.”

“Big bad male.” I chuckled and waved him in. “Like you didn’t get an eyeful a few minutes ago. It isn’t something you haven’t already enjoyed, so get your tail in here.”

Oddly, I wasn’t at all self conscious when he did and that kind of worried me, but again, something for later. I was going to need a list of those ‘laters’ or I’d lose track at this rate. “The girls are still afraid of you, dear. Just swear to them that you won’t harm them, okay?”

He was actually kind of cute with that one. He blushed, gathered them all into a somewhat reluctant hug (on their part) and simply said, “I swear on my life that I will never harm one of you if you offer no harm to me or my lady.”

WHAM!

I felt the same thing that I’d noticed when I told the girls I wasn’t going to eat them…

“Further,” He went on despite my frantic gestures to stop him, “I swear that I and my lady will protect and defend you and yours whenever there is need.”

Oh, shit.

The whammy hit again and I just knew that I’d give my life for any of those girls or anyone in their families. Dammit. I so wanted to brain Sam, but the big goof had meant well.

I shook that off and smiled at the girls. “Okay, so are we good now?”

They nodded.

“Names?” I prompted.

“Brigid of Evanshire, lady.” The redhead gave me a genuine smile and curtsied. I’d never really seen that done and have to tell you it was both graceful and impressive in its own way. The move said that yes, the person doing it was subservient to you, but it also hinted at hidden power that the girl wasn’t showing. Sheesh, I was starting to understand this girl stuff waaay to well.

Sam just watched raptly. I had to elbow him in the ribs — hard — to settle him down.

Evangeline of Berkford, m’lady.” The lovely little brunette introduced herself and my traitorous nipples did that stand up thing again. Sam had to elbow me that time.

Marisol of Arafar, m’lady and lord.” The really lissome blonde with the so lovely ice blue eyes curtsied. Sam and I had to elbow each other after that one. It took us a few seconds.

“Ladies.” I smiled at them and pushed Sam towards the door. “It is a pleasure.”

“We are not ladies, m’lady.” Marisol protested.

“If you’re working for me, you’re ladies.” I told them. “I won’t have it any other way.”

“But no one would acknowledge that, m’lady.” Brigid countered.

“Tell me, is everyone here as afraid of me as you three were?” I questioned.

“How could they not be so?” Evangeline asked, horrified a bit scandalized, it seemed, by the question. “You are Dhro’aaa. Everyone fears you, Lady.”

“Then I think,” I told them with an evil little grin and wink, “that we can work this out.”

They actually giggled at that, bless them.

I was supposed to attend His Honor, His Mastership, or whatever the hell I was supposed to call the Fu Manchu guy in a meeting. I still had trouble even pronouncing the guy’s name, so give me a break here.

The girls filled me in on what my Handmaiden duties would be, and I almost wanted to puke, or at least kick something really hard. Fortunately it didn’t involve going to bed with either him or his guests.

It was bad enough to know I was expected to serve him as something like a waitress, and just be scary as hell for the guests. That last part wouldn’t be a problem at all, given how angry I was about the other stuff. And that was before the girls got me dressed for the event.

Picture the briefest bright red bikini you can imagine. Then two strips of the same color silk that passed as a skirt. They went down to my ankles, I’ll give them that much. But those strips, actually a long and fancy loincloth, left my legs, hips, and butt if I wasn’t very careful about how I moved, exposed to view.

And the sandals. Remember when I saw no heels on the ones in that wardrobe? Well guess what? There was another wardrobe, the sandals in that one would give a Playboy Bunny fits. The shortest heel on those things had to be five inches. And I had to wear a pair of them.

Add a chain link belt of gold, several delicate, but still clunky bracelets, an ankle chain, and a gold chain with a huge emerald set in gold that teased at my cleavage and I looked like an invitation for good old sweaty, grunting sex. At least my ears didn’t have lobes so I didn’t have to put up with earrings.

Then there was the makeup. I am so not going into that right now. Just let me say that my already gorgeous face went from an eleven out of ten straight up to a twenty. I so wanted to kill someone just then.

Which was exactly the impression Shae’song wanted me to make.

Females of your kind are magically powerful, Lady.” Brigid told me while I was still getting used to the way I looked. “And are not known for being at all kind.”

“You know?” I answered while looking at the living fantasy print in the mirror. “I think I can understand that.”

I looked like some Boris Vallejo painting, for crying out loud.

Needless to say, I was NOT in a good mood when I finally got to the feasting chamber.

“Ahh, my Handmaiden arrives.” Kae’song announced as I stalked into the room.

I was way too pissed off to do anything but glare at him and anyone else stupid enough to look at me, which included everyone in the room, by the way.

“Wine, my dear.” The sorcerer looked at me and raised a gold goblet.

I glared some more at the gathering, which included a lot of creatures that would have scared me into gibbering insanity a few days ago and got the bastard his wine. That I stalked the floor like a hungry and angry big cat, I didn’t realize that at the time, but the–people -- watching me showed signs of both awe and fear. I was starting to feel a little better about all this by then. But would be damned if I showed that.

“Will there be anything else?” I questioned the mage, deliberately not giving him an honorific. If he decided to blast me to myriad hells, or evil nirvana, I didn’t care at that stage of things.

“No, dear.” He smiled at me, and waved at the table. “Pour yourself a goblet and sit with me.”

I did, but have you ever wanted to strangle someone so badly you could actually feel your hands around their throat even if it wasn’t really happening? That’s where I was just then.

I managed to smile at him then turned my attention to the group in the room. Something in me wasn’t at all impressed. “Is this the best you can muster? Pathetic.”

I was mentally kicking myself for that one, but to be honest, I really wasn’t all that impressed with the gathering. I waited to be chastised, or blasted and all I got was a chuckle as Kae’song spoke to the others.

“My handmaiden is rather vocal with her opinions, my friends.” He wrapped a skinny arm around my shoulders possessively and grinned. “Do tell all your friends and contacts.”

Everyone in the room was trying to hide glares of hatred, but I could feel them whether I saw them or not. “Hate me if you wish, it is no great matter. Betray my Master and I will come for you. That, I assure you, will not be at all pleasant.”

Now where the hell had that one come from?

I was scaring myself. Not good. Sooo not good.

Would I actually hunt down and kill anyone who went against Fu Manchu? Much to my chagrin, I realized I would. The Bastard had managed to get a promise out of me at some time, and I knew somehow that I was bound to honor that.

You know, being this cool, beautiful, magical creature really sucks at times?

 

 
Author’s Note:Power is something that Dylan/Dahlia has never experienced and having any kind of power at all is something really new and scary. Plus she now has it two ways. In appearance, presence, and sexuality she still isn’t quite willing to admit to having and in abilities she is still discovering. She finds that frightening. Oh, things are still really weird and she really doesn’t have all that much power. Beyond her appearance, anyway.
 

“You did well, my Handmaiden.” Shae’song told me while he felt me up. I so wanted to kill him but couldn’t even move to try that.

“So I scared some assholes for you.” I moved away from his wandering hands. “So what?”

He allowed that with a smirk I so wanted to wipe off his face. “Your presence, and subservience to me has greatly increased my influence in matters that will change the world.”

“Good for you.” I said with a toneless answer that said I could care less at the time. This girl stuff was really getting waaay to easy, and that worried me but I didn’t have time to let that bother me too much just then.

“Just remember that you are pledge bound to me, my dear, lovely Dahlia.” He countered.

“I don’t know how you got that out of me, but yes, I am. Like it or not.” I agreed wondering how I just seemed to accept all this insanity as if it was something that happened all the time.

“That doesn’t matter, my dear.” Kae’song shrugged and gave me a smile that made me almost sick it was so possessive. “The point is, the pledge was given and you have no choice but to honor it.”

“Yeah.” I nodded with a sigh then changed tacks for a bit. “Why did you pick on us? Me and Sam, I mean? That hotel was full of people and you could have gotten a real couple without much more effort than it took you to get us.”

“Your essences fit my needs.” The mage responded simply. “I searched, looking for two spirits that would fit my requirements and the two of you met my needs. I did check others, but none resonated as you two did.”

“Oh.” I shrugged, ignoring the movement on my chest that caused, mostly because it was already starting to feel normal. “But why kidnap someone from another world? Couldn’t you have done this same thing to someone from here?”

“I could have.” He answered then gave me that really evil, pointy teeth grin. “But they would have already known the rules of existence here. I required someone I could manipulate before that knowledge worked its way into their minds.”

“Like the promise and pledge thing.” I grimaced, recalling the force of the feeling I’d gotten when Sam and I had made our promises to my maids.

“Exactly so.” Kae’song smiled. “I exacted the pledges I needed from you and your mate before either of you had settled in enough to begin to feel and understand what they meant.”

“You’re one evil, despicable bastard and when I can I’m going to do my best to kill you, Kae’song.” I told him in a matter of fact way as if I was discussing the weather. Hoo boy. This Dhro’aaa thing was as bad as the girl thing. I actually felt the seething hatred and resentment I had for him as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Of course I am.” He nodded then shrugged. “As to the last part of your statement, it is no surprise. Your kind are not fond of being bound. But bound you are and you will obey until I release you.”

Part of my mind had already started plotting and scheming to find a way to trick him into releasing me, and Sam. Don’t ask. I still didn’t completely understand it either. I just knew I was doing it and didn’t argue about it.

“You were really scary out there.” Sam told me once I’d returned to our rooms and flopped down into a couch that was so comfortable it should have been illegal.

“Huh?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“In that meeting.” He went on. “I was there too, as a kind of guard, and wow! You looked like some pissed off queen and I got the feeling that you could just, you know, wave your hand and the people pissing you off would get hurt.”

“They were putzes.” I answered then took a little time to be shocked by that assessment of the gathering. I mean those creatures, people and whatever would have terrified me when I was Dylan. “Not a real power among them, just wannabes.”

“I noticed.” Sam nodded then got that perplexed expression I knew I’d had more than once over the past day or so.

“Don’t let it make you crazy, Sam.” I let out a sigh and accepted a chilled goblet of wine Brigid handed me without really thinking about it while nodding my thanks to the girl. “Evidently the ‘rules’ of existence on this world are still sinking in for us. I also think you and I are supposed to be some real bad asses.”

“I kind of noticed that.” Sam thoughtfully answered. “Those orcs cringe and edge away whenever I walk past them in the hall. How weird is that?”

“No weirder than me looking over a roomful of mages, monsters, and whatever and letting them know I didn’t think they were worth worrying about.” I answered. “This is sooo strange, Sam.”

“So what do we do now?” He asked.

“Damned if Iknow.” I shrugged and took a sip of the wine. “One thing for sure, we have to get out of here. We’re bound to obey Kae’song, but if we can’t hear his commands I think we don’t have to obey them. If that makes any sense.”

“Works for me.” Sam nodded while sipping his own wine. “But how do we manage to do that?”

“Working on it.” I told him. Oh, another thing to keep in mind here, too. Be very careful about making promises to people. It seems that if we make one, we have to honor it no matter what it was. Even an idle one could cause us a lot of trouble.”

“Oh, right.” Sam shuddered and took a long drink of his own wine. “I kind of understood that, but hadn’t really thought about all the problems the things could cause us.”

“Well, then.” I teased a little. “It’s a good thing I’m here to do the thinking for us, isn’t it?”

He gave me a funny look then actually chuckled. “Yeah, I suppose it is. You always were the one to think things through and worry about the consequences when we ran together all the time.”

Another odd thing, or maybe not so odd. It seems the female Dhro’aaa tend to be ‘the brains of the outfit’ when interacting with the males. Yeah, I know, human women will say the same thing, but this was kind of different.

I mean, I was a system administrator, which took some smarts back home. Here, I looked at things that would have had the old me working for awhile and they looked absurdly simple, as in something a child could do in like ten seconds. Was I really that much smarter than I’d been? Whoa.

Not that Sam was a dummy. Quite the contrary, actually. But an engineer looks at things as, well things, not at the personal interactions an IT professional routinely dealt with.

Also, as the sense of being part of this world began — how to say it? — penetrating? No, for reasons I’m not mentioning I don’t like that word just now. So try soaking in? Yeah that works. Soaking in the longer we were there.

Dhro’ aaa females were innate magic users. Either as mages or priestesses, most of them had magical abilities and were able to use those. Hmm, another thing to look into. And don’t ask how I knew that, read back a little and that will tell you.

Dhro’aaa males were warriors. Merciless, powerful, and skilled. Looking at Sam’s form I could understand that given the smooth play of muscle whenever he moved, and the grace those movements possessed, and the combination was really sexy.

Wait. None of that, Dylan. Okay, none of that, Dahlia. What was with me? Thinking my oldest, best friend was sexy? Gods save me. I am turning into a girl. Okay, technically I already did that, I know. But there’s more to being a girl than just outside appearances and I mean I was turning into a GIRL here.

And you wonder why I was having problems thinking things through?

Brain fart time here. Girl stuff, inappropriate sexual responses, appropriate sexual responses, sexual responses period…

“I need to get some air.” I announced, getting off the couch and heading for one of the balconies. After looking at Sam there, a cold shower would have helped a lot, too.

Why me? I moaned to myself as I left the room. Wisely, Sam didn’t follow. I’d either have tried to kill him or tripped him and beat him to the floor. Sheesh.

I stood out on that balcony, watching the clouds move like clouds do, below where I was watching, and just kind of phased out for awhile. There were faint lights in the distance, villages, isolated farmsteads, even a smallish town that I could see from my vantage. My eyesight was a lot more acute, too, and I could see things in conditions that the old me would have considered pitch black. I muttered, shook my head, and made sure I didn’t sit on my hair when I finally settled onto the stone bench. “Sweat the little stuff later, Dyl — Dahlia. Sam and you have bigger concerns just now.”

And yes, I was starting to call myself Dahlia. Well admit it, the name fit the present me a lot better than some guy name…

It was a little cold but I ignored that, just staring at the horizon, the surrounding mountains and trying to think about what had happened and how I was reacting to all that.

I knew he was there, walking out of our rooms to join me on the balcony, but I didn’t acknowledge his presence as I took in the view. Those mountains, the sky, the whole thing made anything I was going through seem trivial in comparison. Wow. Now, someone please slap me for getting philosophical here. Please.

I felt something being placed over my shoulders and fall to cover me down to my feet.

“It’s kind of cold out here, you know.” Sam told me.

“I know.” I answered, hugging the fur lined cloak around me and looking up at him. “I don’t feel the cold like I used to, you know.”

“Neither do I.” He said and just turned his head to look out at the view from our balcony.

Our balcony?!! Okay, another thing to put on that list of stuff to think about and work through later….

Beautiful, isn’t it?” I asked as I unconsciously leaned back into him.

“Yeah.” He answered then just let us relax and look at the horizon, the mountains, and whatever.

“Sam.” I told him, without moving out of his loose embrace. “You are the best friend I’ve ever had, I’m glad you’re here with me, even if this is all fucked up.”

“Friends help friends.” He answered and gave me a soft, really nice hug. And NO. I am NOT going there. I won’t . I won’t. I won’t.

“What the hell is happening to us, Sam?” I asked, and hated the plaintive, feminine note in the question.

“I don’t know any more than you do, Dahlia.” He answered and I did take note he used my girl name there. “We just need to work our way through it and out of the problems we’re having now. I just know that I’ll be there for you whatever happens.”

“I know.” I answered, feeling the same thing no matter how much I wanted to deny it. “I’ll be there for you too.”

“Then that’s all we need right now isn’t it?” He grinned down at me.

“Yeah.” I grinned, and actually gave him a peck to the cheek kind of kiss. “Thanks, Sam.”

The next few weeks were interesting. If irritating at times.

It was clear that Sam and I had abilities that were just, you know, things we could do. Not that we could just call those up and do them. Not that easy. We had to learn how to use them.

“Light the candle, m’lady.” The mage who had been commanded to teach me the ins and outs of magic told me while pointing at the damned thing.

I looked at the flaming brazier, the still unlit candle and looked at him. “Got a match?”

“No.” He answered then gestured to the blazing brazier and the unlit candle. “Look at the flame, m’lady. Feel it, know what it is, how it lives, what it does.”

“It burns.” I answered, kind of surprised that I’d felt that at all. “It lives to consume, but gives things so it can do that.”

“Yes, m’lady.” The mage answered, evidently pleased with what I’d said. “Now, feel the flame, take it into your mind, and put it on that candle wick.”

I looked at the candle, and felt it. The flame wanting to burn, to live, to be something other than nothing, and sent that feeling to the candle.

It lit.

“Wow,” I breathed while watching the candle I’d just lit without a match or even touching it.

“Now you know how magic works, m’lady.” He told me.

“Yes.” I answered almost absently. “Thank you.”

“I don’t think you will require more lessons, m’lady.” He told me.

“No, I don’t think I will.” I replied while taking in the enormity of what I’d just learned.

Wow.

I couldn’t do the really flashy stuff magically, though. You know the fireball, lightning bolt throwing kind of thing? Well, we all have to accept and work with our limitations. I just decided those kinds of magic were something I’d really have to study to learn and let it go for the time being. I was more than Sure Kae’song wouldn’t permit me to even start trying to learn things like that. With pretty good reason when I stopped to think about it.

there were some funny as in humorous, things that happened after that.

“Marisol.” I grumbled while glaring at the still stubbornly locked wardrobe. I was looking for some clothes that didn’t show more than they hid and knew there were some in that recalcitrant wardrobe. If I could just get the thing open… "Have you seen the key to this thing?"

“No, m’lady.” The maid answered calmly, used to me and my quirks by then. “I think you had it the last time I saw it.”

“Great.” I sighed. Locating misplaced objects wasn’t one of the new talents I’d acquired. I started thinking bad thoughts for the wardrobe’s future as a useful piece of furniture while staring at the stubborn lock. Then for some reason just reached out a finger, touched it and silently asked the danged thing to open.

With a sharp click it did. And I found myself looking at the contents I’d been after since the door had also quite obligingly opened, too. I looked at my finger, then back to the lock, then to Marisol who was watching me with a bemused expression and gave me a little shrug before going back to the dusting she’d been doing. “Wow.”

My eyes widened and I chuckled, which people were learning didn’t bode well for someone’s peace of mind most of the time. Not that I was really malicious or anything, just mischievous at times. “Oh, I’m going to have sooo much fun with this one.”

“I’m sure you will, m’lady.” Marisol imperturbably agreed, though I could see hints a smile teasing at the edges of her mouth as she did that.

“Lady Dahlia.” Kae’song gave me an exasperated, halfway amused sigh a few days later. “Would you mind not opening every lock you come across in the place? The dungeon guards just spent an hour chasing down one of my prisoners — again, and they’re starting to grumble.”

“I have to do something for fun around here.” I countered then shrugged in agreement. I wasn’t going to promise not to play with locks anymore, but he accepted that as an acknowledgement he could live with.

“I’ll arrange for you get some more training in other things, to occupy at least some of your time, then.” He told me.

I could live with that, I supposed.

“I wish, just once, that I could walk down the hall without everyone staring, drooling, and whatever.” I muttered after attending to Kae’song at another of his gatherings. Of course I’d had to wear a set of those too revealing clothes for it and was trying to hurry back to the chambers Sam and I shared.

Some of the looks I got were outright lustful, others were carefully neutral, and a few, some of the elves bound to service here actually glared at me with outright hatred. None of which was pleasant at all.

I thought about how nice a little invisibility spell would be just then, head still down and muttering about things in general again when a page literally ran into me. “Sheesh! Watch where you’re going!”

“I am sorry, Lady.” The guy, not much more than a kid, actually gave me a look of wide eyed fear and startlement. “Truly, I didn’t see you a moment ago. My apologies!”

He started edging away then almost ran to get away from me when I noticed something really odd. Not one person in the hallway was looking at me. I had to dodge around another minion who didn’t see me until the last minute either. Then I smiled to myself. Okay, it wasn’t exactly invisibility, but unless someone was really close, or I was making noise, people just seemed to not notice my presence. “Not bad.”

My voice and chuckle dispelled whatever I’d been doing and people started staring again, but that was all right. I’d just discovered another potentially very useful trick. I was actually in a good mood when I got back to our rooms. Which after serving His Whatever in one of his meetings was unusual enough that the maids thought I’d finally lost what little sanity I had managed to hang on to up till then.

“Ouch!” I was cutting a piece off a melon and the knife slipped a bit, cutting my finger enough that it was bleeding freely. After carefully setting the offending piece of cutlery down (me throwing things when I got angry tended to result in, well, lots more damage to things than I expected) and put the injured digit up to my mouth.

“Where’s a band aid when you really need one?” I grumped while looking at the cut. It was a little one, really, but given the state of medical arts in general around here if you didn’t have access to a healer, even a small cut could mean trouble later if you weren’t careful.

While I was staring my other hand got kind of warm, and I automatically reached with it to cradle the one I’d hurt. There was tingle, in both hands and the cut was gone. I mean gone as if it had never been there at all. Not even a mark on the offended digit to show it been hurt.

Huh. So I could heal, at least minor injuries. Hmmm. I did notice that I was little tired? Not quite that, but something in me had been taxed. I ate my melon and wondered about that for awhile.

Sam was going through his own training too. Like I said, we had innate abilities.

I watched him, unarmed, kick the crap out of an Ogre, and felt a rush of pride, and something else I just wasn’t ready to admit to just then. Okay, just why did I feel good when Sam did well?

I am sooo NOT going there. I did NOT get that warm feeling down there, or have my traitorous nips standing at attention when he beat that ogre. No way.

Sam was my friend. I was glad he did well. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

But I know I have my champion.

And despite all the protests, that feels kind of good.

“How do I use this?” I asked the arms master while examining the thin blade in my hand. “It doesn’t have a handle.”

“Hilt, it would be a hilt, m’lady.” The guy patiently explained. “It needs no hilt because this blade isn’t designed to be held, just thrown.”

“Oh.” I gave the blade another look and had to admit that it was really well balanced, though how I knew that I hadn’t a clue about. “So show me how it works, please.”

He nodded with a little smile. I’d learned that scary as I seemed to be for most people, if I was polite they usually responded well. “All right, m’lady. Watch me carefully.”

I did, as he gripped the blade between finger and thumb then sent it singing into the air with an almost negligent flick of his wrist. The blade, by the way, ended up firmly embedded in the bulls eye of the target twenty yards away.

I nodded and accepted another blade from him and let my hand get a feel for it. Again, I didn’t know how I had the knowledge, but the blade was beautifully crafted and perfect for what it had been made for.

I flicked my wrist and all of a sudden that blade was quivering in the target right beside the one he’d thrown.

Holy crap!

I nodded, smiled, and looked at the other blades, the target, and my ‘teacher’. “I see.”

“Indeed you do, Lady.” He nodded and bowed. We moved on to the care and feeding of daggers and other sundry items that all had wicked points and sharp edges.

Learning to use a sword was nowhere near as much fun as the throwing knives. It was hot, sweaty, and — just — kind of inelegant if that means anything to you. I knew beyond doubt that if I ever had to resort to using a sword, I was really in trouble. But then again, that was one of things Sam was around for. The other stuff I still resolutely did my best to not notice.

Learning to use a bow was interesting. Turns out I could use the recurved long bow, but was more comfortable with the short bow. After a little practice, I was just as good with a bow as I was with the throwing knives. Sheesh. People say that things just come naturally to some people but don’t really mean it that way. With me and the throwing knives and bow, they did. Once I picked the things up and tried them out, I just knew how to use them.

Oh, I had a new hobby, besides driving my male escorts to distractions of sexual fantasies. And yes, I admit it, I did that and it was actually kind of fun if I didn’t think much past the act itself.

No, the new hobby was because being able to open locks with a touch was boring. So I had someone teach me how to pick them. That I actually enjoyed, and had to work at learning how to do it.

“Hemlock, Maiden’s Ease, Bella Donna.” I identified the herbs laid out on the table and then explained the uses of each one. It seems I also had a good knowledge of herb lore and poisons, and how to make use of them. Hmmm, that has possibilities that I’m not going into just now.

“Remarkable, Lady.” My present teacher, an alchemist told me. “One would think that you had been born as you are and grew up learning these things.”

“Don’t ask me to explain it.” I shrugged. “For all practical purposes, on this world, I was born this way, and the attendant knowledge just seems to be something the magic is taking care of. All I need to do is try the things and there you go. Instant poisoner, or whatever.”

“So I see, Lady.” He answered and shrugged himself. “I don’t pretend to understand the higher magics. I am a simple herbalist and chemist.”

“Don’t feel all alone.” I told him with a grimace. “I don’t understand how all this works and to be honest it kind of scares me at times the way I pick things up like I do.”

“You need the skills to survive in this world, Lady.” He answered simply.

Yeah, I suppose he was right. Now if only I could get comparable skills regarding other things in my life…

 

 
Author’s Note:Power is something that Dylan/Dahlia has never experienced before and she finds that frightening. But power tends to work two ways. Oh, things are still really weird.
 

Seeing Sam, especially when he was all sweaty from training, was doing things to me that I didn’t even want to look at, let alone think about.

I mean I had a fiancée, a girl I loved and was planning to marry where we’d come from and I still loved her. Okay recent circumstances had kind of thrown kinks into that one, I have to admit. Like the fact that now I was a girl, too, and to be completely honest, a lot prettier and sexier than Carolyn had ever dreamed of being. Or most other girls where I’d come from for that matter.

But I still loved Carolyn, right?

But then there was Sam. The new, improved Sam, and the new, okay I admit it, improved me. Who just happened to be really attracted to Sam no matter how much I protested.

Then there was that bond thing. You remember that one? The blood bond with the promise to each other? I even vaguely recalled saying the words back right after my transformation. Dammit. I reminded myself to take Sam aside and let him know what making promises, even idle ones, really meant to us now in a lot more detail than our earlier conversation had done, but decided that could wait just a bit.

I was still struggling with my feelings towards and about the guy.

On the one hand, he was the best friend I’d ever had, and I was very glad he was here with me through all this, though I thought I’d kill him if he tried to take advantage of that girl thing I was going through just now.

On the other hand, he was my Champion, my betrothed by blood and oath, and was one damned good looking male. Oh, this train of thought wasn’t going well at all. Nope. Not well at all.

I went back out to one of the balconies. It was snowing, and the cold wind was exactly what I needed just then. I sighed, settled onto the bench at the wall side of the balcony and just let things go by for awhile.

Okay, keeping score here.

I was one extremely sexy, beautiful female.

Yeah, that wasn’t my fault, or wish. But then what girl really had a say in how she looked or impacted on other people? Okay, kind of normal there, other than the supernatural sexiness and beauty my present form had.

I had skills that worked in this world. I’d had to learn how to use them, yes, and the learning had been absurdly easy, but I blamed the magic for that and after all, I needed those skills just to survive as things were. And in my own defense, I’d actually taken the trouble to learn things that just hadn’t come to me.

Okay, another check there.

I was in love with Sam… Hold it. That thought wasn’t supposed to be part of this. I shelved that one and tried to move on.

Definitely NOT a check on that one.

I was a very scary person according to others. Okay, at times I scared myself here. I mean I was this gorgeous, nasty minded female who really could be an evil bitch if I wanted to be. The evil bit was just part of my nature, after all. Oh, I did have some very evil impulses at times but I won’t go into those just now. At least I managed to hold those down.

And I definitely didn’t want to be evil. But I was a girl — okay, face it here Dyl-Dahlia, I was what would be considered a woman at home and didn’t particularly want that either.

The evil thing I might, just might, be able to restrain if I tried really hard. The sexy, beautiful girl thing? Well, there was just no restraining that unless I wanted to walk around covered from head to toe in something like a Middle Eastern Burqua. And I even had my doubts about that working.

Check again. Sigh…

I was in love with… Nope I already vetoed that one earlier. No check, no — umm — acknowledgment allowed here.

I just sat there in the cold with the wind tickling me and the snow actually piling up on me, and brooded about all that. Yeah, brooded. Worry just didn't seem to have the same impact regarding what I was feeling, learning, dealing with, and yes -- fighting in some cases, as brooding did. At least I wasn't pouting.

“Here.” Sam brushed te snow off my shoulders and hair then draped a cloak around my shoulders. “I know the cold doesn’t bother us like it used to, but you should still be careful. I don’t think we’re immune to things like frostbite if we ignore things too long.”

I looked out at the snow, now blowing with the wind into blizzard proportions and smiled to myself as I hugged the cloak around me. “I know. I’m just tryng to get a handle on what exactly it is that I’ve become here, and that isn’t coming easy, Sam.”

“I know it isn’t.” He answered and gave a shrug. “I wish I had an answer for you on that one, but I don’t. Truthfully, I’m still working on what’s happened to me.”

I opened the cloak and threw it around him, too. “Yeah, I can understand that really well. Oh, you should practice what you preach, you know.”

He moved closer to me and pulled the cloak closed around us. “Yeah. We both need to learn to do that, don’t we?”

“Uh huh. Among other things.” I answered, instinctively snuggling into his warmth. “It isn’t easy is it?”

“No.” Sam agreed while looking down at me and I could see the emotions and thoughts running through his head. I mean, literally, really see. How creepy is that? “I’m built to adore you as you are, you know that don’t you?”

“Oh yes.” I sighed and finally admitted. “I’m built to have the same reactions to you. Sam, you are my best friend, I loved you like a brother back home. I still love you, but need time to figure out just what that means here and now.”

“I know.” He hugged me and that felt really, really good, but I also knew he wasn’t going to push things beyond that just then. Gods, he really was my Champion. In more than defending me from others.

We just sat there, in the cold neither one of us really felt all that much and watched the storm for awhile.

“Sam?” I finally interrupted that sooo comfortable silence we’d let ourselves sink into.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to do something for you here, and I hope you’ll do the same for me in a few minutes.” I looked at his expression and part of me just kind of melted and wanted to drag the guy off and have my joyful, uninhibited way with him. But I managed to stave that off with a little grin. “And not that.”

He gave me that ‘I’m waiting’ look guys always give girls when they — we’re -- telling them something that’s really important to us.

“Sam.” I pulled out of his hug and set my small hands on his broad shoulders. “I promise, you, swear and give my oath, that I will never make a promise for you to someone else. I won’t ever bind you to something you don’t have time to think about and make up your own mind about.”

The oath settling in didn’t have that sudden impact our earlier ones did, but it was very clear to both of us that it was probably more binding than anything either one of us had said, or given before. And I knew I wouldn’t ever make a promise to someone else for him.

“Hoo!” He let out a breath and nodded. “I can feel the truth of that one, Dahlia. I never really worried about it, you know. Make a promise, you keep it, that’s all there was to it far as I was concerned.

“Now, though.” He shrugged and smiled at me. “Our promises mean a little more than just that, don’t they?”

“Yeah, they do.” I answered. “When you, or I, make a promise, Sam, we’re swearing an oath to honor whatever we said. And that oath is binding in a way that I’m not sure either one of us really understands just now.”

“Yeah.” He answered and I was starting to say something else.

When his big, strong hands settled on my shoulders and he looked straight into my eyes. “Shut up for a minute if you can do that. I know it’s hard, you never were one to hold your tongue, but humor me here, okay?”

I just stared into the blue depths of those eyes and nodded. What was getting into me? His hands felt so good on my shoulders and I briefly wished they were touching other places. Not happening, nope i am NOT feeling that when my best friend just touches me. “Okay.”

“Whether you want to admit or not, Dahlia.” He softly told me. “You are my life, my love, my reason. I know, I know, and I’m not going to push that right now, but you are. Just try and let that sink in, okay? I live for you, and would die for you. And here I go…

“I promise, I swear, give my oath on my soul and before the gods, that I will never offer you harm, that I will never again promise someone a thing for you, or expect you to honor a promise you had no chance to consider on your own before giving. I freely give you my soul, Dahlia, my life, my love. I will defend you and protect you to my last breath whether you return that sentiment or not. You are the love I never found, but now I’ve found it. I give my oath to honor that above all else.”

Oh, shiiit. That one slammed home then wormed its way into parts of me I hadn’t realized were there. And it felt warm, and good and… and wonderful.

Ohhh, maaan. I had it bad here even if I didn’t want it.

But I did want it.

Oh no you don’t, traitorous libido!

But it felt sooo good.

“Uhh, you really didn’t have to go quite that far, Sam.” I softly told him but was not even trying to move away from his hands still on my shoulders.

“Yes I did.” He answered with a smile. “One of us needed to say it.”

“All right.” I nodded. “Samthien, who I call Sam. On my oath, my pledge, I will defend you, be with you, protect you as far as my abilities allow, die for you if that is needed. I swear my oath on this in the sight of the gods, nature and ourselves.”

I couldn’t, just couldn’t, return all of what he’d given. And felt really guilty about it. “That’s the best I can do right now. I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Meh.” He grinned. “It’s a start.”

At least now both of us really had a good understanding of just what making a promise could mean to either one of us.

I had been summoned to attend another of Kae’song’s meetings. I had to obey that, there was just nothing I could do to go against his wishes no matter how much I wished otherwise. I’d never really hated anyone in my life up to then. But I genuinely, truthfully, hated that mage.

I arrived, wearing the sexy clothing that seemed to be not only expected, but demanded of me when I did so, and found that this meeting was different than the others. A lot different.

For one thing, there was only one other person in attendance. And she was seated at a table with Kae’song, not looking up at him from the ‘cheap seats’ as I’d started calling the assembly hall in general.

And she was genuinely powerful. Really powerful as in dangerously so.

She was human, appeared young but with mages that was deceptive I’d already discovered. Beautiful, but I had her on that one all things considered. Okay, vanity is an evil, right? I had to let something get through didn't I, just for a safety valve.

But where everything else was concerned, when I really looked at her, felt her presence…

I was waaay out of my league and knew it.

“Alis.” Kae’song nodded to me and smiled. “Allow me to introduce my handmaiden, Dahlia.”

“Lady.” I nodded to her, not willing to cringe, or edge away from her even though I knew, really knew, that this woman could wipe me out of existence with a thought, let alone a wave.

“Dahlia.” She nodded, making my name sound like poetry and giving me a small knowing smile before turning back to Kae’song. “So this is one of your ‘pet’ Dhro’aaa I’ve been hearing so much about. You should take care, dear. Her kind is very dangerous and you have been flirting at the edges of outraging her entire race with what you’ve done here.”

“I have not abused her, Alis.” He answered with a shrug. “In fact I have taken pains to make sure she has been taught things proper for her continued survival here. As well as been kept comfortable while in my service.”

“Maybe so.” The woman nodded then looked at me again. “But she hates you, my dear. With the kind of virulence only the Dhro’aaa can muster. Beware of her.”

“Oh, I know that.” Kae’song nodded. “But the gains far outweigh the risks where my lovely Dahlia is concerned. I have uses for her that will not violate the mores and niceties of her people.”

“If you say so.” Alis shrugged. “It will be on your head, either way.”

“One must take certain risks at times to achieve specific gains.” He answered.

“True.” The woman nodded then held out her cup. “Wine, Dahlia, for me and your — master -- then pour yourself one and join us.”

I did, careful not to flinch when she looked at me or when I looked at her. She seemed to appreciate that and actually chuckled. “I like You Dahlia. You know your limitations already, but have much to learn of your true capabilities. Plus, you handle your fear quite well.”

“I am what I am, Lady.” I answered then covered my unease by taking a sip of the wine. “What I will is of no consequence just now, what I am simply is, I can’t change that at the moment or in the foreseeable future. What I may be in time is up to me and the gods, I think.”

“Very true, dear, very true.” She answered then gave me a long look and questioned. “Tell me, is your new sexuality something you find troublesome?”

“Should it be?” I asked in response, not letting myself react to the fact that she obviously knew I hadn’t been female so long ago. “There is nothing I can do about it, and as I’ve already said, what is, is. I can’t change that, can I?”

“No, to both.” She actually smiled at me, a genuine smile that held more than a little respect much to my surprise. “It is no wonder you frightened my minions on their visits here. You have a very good grasp of the realities of things in this world already. In time, I do believe you will be truly formidable.”

“From you, Lady,” I nodded and gave her respect in return. “I will accept that as a compliment and thank you.”

“Oh, it was, dear, it was, and you’re more than welcome.” She told me.

“Wine Dahlia.” Kae’song interrupted, showing me his empty cup.

“As you wish.” I left my seat, retrieved the jug and returned to fill first hers, then his. “Will there be anything else?”

My small act of rebellion wasn’t lost on him but he let it go with a wave. “Not just now, my dear. Have some more yourself and wait over there. Serve the Lady's guard, too. The Lady Alis and I have important matters to discuss now.”

I’d been dismissed, but Alis looked first at me, then him and shook her head at him before nodding to me. “Yes, thank you for your attentiveness and candor, Lady Dahlia.”

“It was my pleasure, Lady.” I responded then moved away to give them a chance to talk without being overheard. Or at least at a distance humans would need for that. Okay I was cheating with my preternatural hearing, but neither one of them called me on it.

Small victories at times, are more precious than the really big ones, you know?

I regarded the soldiers who were obviously her guards with no expression at all on my face but noted that none of them were bound like they could have been. My personal estimation of Alis rose right there. I gave them the glare that seemed to be something obligatory from me when around males, but eventually relented and moved to join them, offering ale or wine. They did tend to flinch most pleasantly though, when I moved towards them and every one of them looked to see if another had taken a drink first.

This evil thing could be a real pain at times.

I laughed and tilted my head. “Oh come on. I wouldn’t insult your mistress by poisoning you lot here where she could see it. Now enjoy your drinks and don’t worry about it. If I wanted to hurt any of you, I would have done that already.”

They stared, but I was used to that by then, shared looks with each other, then seemed to accept what I’d told them and settled back to enjoy their drinks.

I sat down at another spot and thought about things. With occasional interruptions to refill Kae’song’s or his guest’s cups. Oh the escort got ale next time around and they were just a bit less nervous when I approached to offer it.

As they were leaving, one of Alis’ guardsmen bumped me and whispered. “My mistress bid me give you this.”

He apologized for the ‘inadvertant’ collision, though I could see he’d found it kind of entertaining, and walked away.

I was holding a small piece of parchment when I looked, and concealed it as best I could given the lack of anything concealing on my person at the time. I’m sure you can figure things out from there. And no, I didn't shove it down my bra, or what passed for one of this in this getup.

Once the mage had dismissed me, I stopped in the hallway and made sure he hadn’t followed, he hadn’t , the arrogant SOB, and took out the parchment, smoothed out the wrinkles the place I’d hidden it were bound to give something and saw there was writing on it.

You are a most interesting individual, Dhalia of no Clan. When you get free of your present circumstances, which I have no doubt you will do, seek me out. I will not demand an oath from either you or your consort, but do think knowing you in times to come could be most entertaining. And beneficial for all three of us.

A.

I hid the note again, sat down on a nearby bench and just thought about that one for a while.

Unlike others I’d met since being pulled into this world and transformed -- including Kae'song, that woman truly scared me. Her power, her ability and will to use it had glared at me like a flare set off in a cave.

But she had seemed to actually like me, even if she was more than a bit amused about my circumstances. Plus, she hid given me an oath, even it was written instead of spoken. While offering some form of sanctuary if Sam and I, no make that when, we escaped our present difficulties.

I’d just need to make sure to get that oath in spoken form if we ever did get that far.

Then that thought hit me another way. We. Not me, not Sam and I. We.

As if I knew he would be with me no matter what, and I would be with him the same way.

Okay, now that was scary.

 

 
Author’s Note:Well things are progressing, Dahlia discovers she has a job, a real one. And she isn't too happy about it.
 

I grabbed Sam by the arm, and most definitely not where my hand wanted to go on its own and smiled sweetly. “Get the cloak, dear. We have things to talk about.”

I was starting to treasure these times, when he and I were just sitting on a balcony watching the weather or the sky, or whatever. Once we were out of our rooms, he solicitiously wrapped the fur lined cloak around me then waited for me to invite him to join me within its embrace.

“I met an — interesting person, today.”

“Did you?” He settled into our familiar cuddle — no, it wasn’t that, not at all, just sharing warmth in the cold — and waited for me to tell him.

“Read this.” I handed him the note then wrinkled my nose. “Ignore the smell, I had to hide it.”

He smelled it anyway, and got this faraway, happy, longing expression on his face that wasn’t going away.

“Read it, Sam.” I nudged him.

He did, then put the note in his mouth, moved it around a little then chewed and swallowed it with a grin that wasn’t even apologetic. “Hey. Now no one else will find it.”

“Where I was hiding it, no one would have.” I grumbled. “Without getting hurt.”

“I know.” He winked. He actually winked at me. I let it go, mainly because I just didn’t want to go there at all, especially not just then.

“Back to the subject?” I hinted then added. “The original one?”

“Well, just who is this Alis?” He questioned.

“I don’t really know other than she’s a magic user who could eat Kae’song for a between meals snack and she scared the shit out of me even if she did seem friendly.”

“Got the feeling that we’re going to need to take our friends where we can get them, love.” He answered carefully. I did my best to ignore the little endearment. “Everyone in this place is afraid of us, and most of those hate us, too, other than your maids. I get the feeling that the race we’ve become part of isn’t one that donates to charities or helps anyone if there’s nothing in it for them.”

“Yeah.” I nodded and he didn’t see it, but felt my head move against his chest. Okay, why was my head resting so comfortably on his chest? Later, later. Much later if I had any say in things. “There are other elves here, bound like we are, and they hate me with a force that almost has the power of a punch to the gut from a heavy weight champion boxer.”

“I noticed that.” He agreed. “But they can’t do anything to us, and I don’t think they could if they were free to try. They’re more afraid of us than anything else. The hate seems to be something they learned a long time ago.”

“It does at that.” I admitted then chuckled. “I know I could just slap any of them here down without breaking a sweat and that amuses me. Gods Sam, what have I turned into here?”

“A Dhro’aaa.” He answered then shrugged and I felt that motion on my cheek and against my chest — okay, breasts. “People will talk to me at least, which most seem afraid to even try with you, by the way. Evidently the real Dhro’aaa aren’t nice people at all. They delight in giving pain, making people miserable, and think things like dead puppies and kittens are funny.”

“Oh.” I nodded, again into his chest. Why didn’t I just sit up? “That makes sense, I suppose and kind of explains the really glaring gap in the constraints Kae’song has put on us regarding moving around.”

“He hasn’t put any constraints on us.” Sam answered.

“Exactly.” I grinned and that time actually looked up so he could see it. “Has he ever specifically told you that you can’t leave the citadel?”

“Well, no.” I saw things beginning to light up in his eyes. “He hasn’t.”

“Consequently, he hasn’t seen the need to command us to come back if we just happen to wander out one of the gates.” I said and felt the evil little grin growing on my face. “Sam, he’s gone to a lot of trouble to tell us just how hated we are, and left it at that.”

“Damn.” He breathed and gave me a hug that got other things I didn’t want to think about started there. “We could have just left any time we liked.”

“Give that man a cigar, light it, and hand him a brandy to go with it.” My smile almost split my face. “The arrogant bastard thinks we’re too afraid of reactions to us outside if we do walk out to dare do it.”

“Well, it could be a problem, you know.” He pointed out.

“Oh, it will be, but we’ll deal with it when we have to.” I admitted with another grin. “But until we’re ready let’s not give him any hint we’ve figured that one out, okay?”

“It’s so damned simple and straight forward.” He frowned. “I’m an engineer, why didn’t we see it before?”

I tapped his head, then mine. “Sam, we were smart people back home. I know we’re both a lot smarter than we were. So tell me, what were the first things we were taught in our careers?”

“Don’t over think things.” He grinned back. “Don’t look for a complicated answer or fix when there’s a simple, basic one, right in front of you.”

“Yeah.” I hugged him, tight, and that felt right in a way my brain didn’t want to admit. But my body did. Oh, did it ever.

“Kae’song knows we’re highly intelligent.” I went on. “Hell, we’re probably smarter than he is and he knows that. But he has the training, and experience to use what he knows. Which at present we don’t.

“So we stay here, keep learning things, practicing, and get to the point where we’re at least comfortable with what we know and can do.”

Sam looked at me, thought about it, looked at me again, then looked out at the snowstorm (another one) then looked back at me and grinned in appreciation. “You know, that’s all so obvious it’s devious?”

“I know.”

“No wonder people are afraid of you.” He chuckled and pulled me back to his side. “You can be devious in plain sight while just doing what’s normal.”

“It’s a girl thing.” I answered, not even thinking about getting out of that embrace. “Now let’s just watch the snow for awhile, okay?”

We did. Okay, I let him kiss me. Just a little one, no tongue or anything. Honest!

Sitting in front of a fireplace? Fah! A cold bench, with a blizzard blowing in… Promotes cuddling

Ohhh, I didn’t just say that did I?

I was sweating, and looking at the different targets (moving, by the way) that I’d hit with my throwing knives.

“Your’re getting better, Dahlia.” Ronce, the armsmaster told me with approval.

“Thanks.” I answered while checking to make sure I didn’t have a knife in a spot that could be both embarrassing and painful without showing I did that. “I enjoy these workouts.”

“It shows.” Ronce nodded. “You are gifted, Dahlia, and now you’re actually learning how to use that gift effectively.”

“Thanks to you.” I returned with a little smile. Ronce was one of the few people in the Citadel who didn’t outright fear and/or hate me.

“Talent comes forth.” The man, three times my size and with muscles that would have made Schwarzenegger feel inadequate, chuckled. “And you, Lady, are very talented with throwing blades.”

“Thanks.” I told him then grimaced as I saw what he had next in line. “I am so NOT talented with those things, Ronce.”

Looking at the sword in his hand he shook his head. “Dahlia, just think of this as a longer, heavier dagger. That you can swing in addition to pushing.”

“That’s what Sam is for.” I grumbled.

“True enough, but you need to know how to use one of these effectively anyway.” Ronce shrugged. “Sam won’t be with you all the time.”

Well, if Sam had his way… But I could see the point. I just didn’t like using swords. A dirk, a nice needle pointed dagger, throwing knives and darts… Those I liked.

But a sword, no matter how beautifully crafted it was, by definition tended to be a lot more direct and in front of you than I preferred. Okay, okay. I was turning into a sneaky little bitch who didn’t want to confront someone face on. I could do it if I had to, but things tended to work much better for me if I didn’t.

Sam, on the other hand loved his. Both of them. Oh, yeah, did I mention that one of our racial characteristics is that we’re ambidextrous? I think the long, slightly curved blades he loves so much would be classed as something like the Japanese Katana, but I don’t know swords.

But Sam pays more attention to those swords than most guys pay to their women.

And no, I’m not jealous. Really!

Daggers? I could kill someone with one before they knew anyone was close to them.

Throwing Knives? I could hit the bulls eye on a moving target at fifty yards.

Bows? I loved those things. Range depended on the type of bow but otherwise, I had no problems with them. I hit what I aimed at, took wind and elevation into automatic consideration, and could use any of them I ran across. Though my personal favorite was that recurved, horn short bow…

Poison? Don’t ask. Safer that way, and yes, I was good with those, too.

Magic? Still the simple stuff, but I could use what I have to help with the other skills.

Disguise? Who needs that when you’re an elf who can hide in and use shadows without thinking about it?

Oh. I was more agile than a practiced gymnast back home. Some of the moves I’d Just used while training were astonishing .

My breasts didn’t like some of the upside down stuff, or sudden leaps to the side. But otherwise…

I wasn’t a bad ass. But I was capable of taking care of myself.

Sam, on the other hand. Now he was a bad ass.

The guy could cut a block of ice into perfectly even cubes.

In less than ten seconds.

I was actually in awe the first time I saw him do that.

His skills with a bow weren’t as good as mine, but so what. He could hit what he aimed at most of the time.

Unarmed, my guy was simply awe inspiring. Bruce lee, Jackie Chan, and others, all in one person. Sam was deadly without weapons.

My guy?

Okay, it was time to leave that one alone. Again.

Crap. I’m an assassin.

Well with all the things I’d found myself naturally good at, and liked doing, everything had pointed to that. Talk about depressing.

“Well now I know what old Fu Manchu wants me around for.” I grumbled.

Sam gave my shoulders a little squeeze and shrugged. “Well, you have to admit that what you’ve been learning, and are good at doing are skills that would make you really good at sneaking up and killing people. Doesn’t mean you have to make a career of it, you know. You’d make a pretty decent thief, too. Just don’t try picking pockets.”

“What?” I gave him a mock outraged glance, glad that he was trying to shake me out of my currently poor mood. “You think I couldn’t do that?”

“Oh, you could.” He admitted. “If you could get close enough to anyone to try, but even if you managed that you’re kind of a hard person to forget was around given your looks and all.”

“There is that.” I agreed with a little frown. I was still on back side of getting comfortable with the way I looked and the whole being a female thing.

Sigh.

Worse, Kae’song had a job for me to do.

---

 
Author’s Note:A new job, new perceptions, new problems. Oh, yeah there’s still that ‘making little Dhro’aaa thing’ hovering in the background, too.
 

“Dammit!” I actually stamped a foot with that one and glared at anything that could even by accident be the least offensive object or person in the room. “First it’s the making little Dhro’aaa thing, now this.”

“Well, the first one would probably more fun.” Sam shrugged.

I narrowed my eyes and gave him one of those ‘go there and you are sooo dead’ looks girls seem to have down pat by the time they’re five or six years old. “That is NOT going to happen.

“At least not in the near future.” I let out a sigh and just sat down without throwing anything or setting something on fire. I had to be kind of careful with my temper because of that ability and had learned that the hard way. In my own defense, it was only an empty wardrobe. And the fire was kind of pretty even if the smoke in our rooms was annoying…

Watching my maids frantically trying to put the fire out had made me feel kind of bad, though.

“Dahlia, it’s what you are, and you should know by now that neither one us of can fight that here.” Sam soothed. “I’m the ‘up in your face and poor you.’ Type. You’re the ‘keep looking over your shoulder and it won’t do you any good if you do type’. He answered. “We just have to deal with what we are now.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.” I muttered.

“You don’t seem to like being one of most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen in my life, either.” He countered. “You deal with that. Settle down and deal with this, too.”

His first statement had parts of me so warm I had to glow in the dark. And no, I was not, was NOT, going to cave in to them. The second part made sense too, damn him for being so practical.

“But what now?” I almost whined. “Kae’song actually wants me to go out and KILL someone.”

“Do what you have to, love.” He answered simply. “We don’t have a lot of choice when he specifically tells us to do something, do we?

“No.” I shrugged and let myself just kind of fall into his hug. “We don’t. So I’m going to go out there, and just — kill — someone who had the misfortune to displease Kae’song.”

“Not your fault.” He softly told me. “You are what you are, Dahlia, and in my opinion that is one very incredible, impressive woman. And yes, I know you aren’t willing to admit that to yourself yet, and I’m not pushing for you to do that. But by the gods, you are and have been since we got here, the most incredible, beautiful, smart and determined, woman I’ve ever met in my life.”

At least he didn’t say he loved me. But part of me sooo wanted him to do that.

I sighed, settled back into his arms and nodded. And yes, my head was against his chest again. Biology. I was female, and the body wants things that the mind might find repulsive at times and just ignores that kind of thing. “Thanks, Sam.”

“I love you, Dahlia.” He answered, which set alarm bells ringing, had things in my head mustering defenses, and scared part of me.

I just told all those things to go find something else to do. “I love you, too.”

“About time you admitted it.” He hugged me tighter and even I couldn’t see it given that my face was pressed into his powerful chest, I knew he was smiling.

“Sam.” I hesitantly moved away from his arms and put one hand on his cheek while I just looked at him. “I give you this promise, freely and without reservation. You are the love of my life, I will be with you, there for you, defend you, and yes, love you, no matter what happens. You and I are meant to be together, and by all the gods watching, I can’t and won’t deny that. I love you Sam, you are more than life to me. You are one of my reasons for being. The most important one.”

I took a deep breath and went on though parts of me were protesting, setting up defensive bunkers and screaming for me not to say the next thing that came out of my mouth. “Now take me to bed and show me how much you love me.”

And ohh, that was sooo good when he did. As for details? None of your damned business.

Well, one problem had been taken care of. I was female with all the drives and urges and let those have their way with me. And yes, it was fun, and felt good.

But I’d been a guy! Guys don’t make desperate, sweaty, needy love with other guys.

News flash here. I wasn’t a guy any more. Not at all.

And the girl — woman — female — whatever, that I was, wanted more of it with my lover, my consort, my champion, my husband.

But I didn’t conceive. I discovered that I could actually shut that part of things off with just a thought. Talk about fool proof birth control. But really, I wasn’t about to let Kae’song have any power at all over children I could have.

“ That was nice.” I whispered into Sam’s ear while squirming to make our spooning even more intimate.

He obliged by setting his hands, gently, on my breasts and chuckled. “Yeah, it was. Though just ‘nice’ doesn’t cover things. I saw fireworks and felt the Earth move.”

“I didn’t think guys were supposed to be all that romantic when they aren’t on the make.” I laughed and pushed myself into his back. “But you’re doing good here.”

“Thanks.” He answered and snuggled a bit tighter. “I hate to bring this down, but what are you going to do about what Fu Manchu wants?”

“Like I have a choice?” I asked. “He has my oath. I have to do what he wants.”

“Yeah.” Sam sighed and hugged me. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“Not your fault, love.” I replied. “I’ll do it, I have to and yes, I know I’m good at that kind of thing, but I won’t enjoy it.”

“I know.” He answered, then rolled me over and started doing such wonderful things…

I was still kind of glowing when I finally got to Kae’song’s chambers.

“You have need of me?” I questioned quite carefully to show there was no subservience in me but I knew I had to do as he asked.

“Yes, my dear.” He answered, giving me knowing look. “There is a group of merchants in the town of Hanas who seem to have forgotten just who rules here. I need you to give them a message for me. It is past time for you to use some of that training you’ve been receiving.”

“I see.” I nodded and looked at him. “I don’t suppose this has anything to do with letting people know that you have a Dhro’aaa assassin at your beck and call?”

“That would be part of it, admittedly.” He answered then shrugged. “But this ‘Merchant’s Association’ requires some persuasion. You are to kill one of them, publicly and so there is no doubt that he has been assassinated and who ordered it done.”

I really hated this man, but knew I’d do what he wanted whether I really wished to or not just then. I was also sure there were ways around that, too, but needed more time to figure those out. “Anyone in particular or should I just chose one merchant at random?”

“You choose, my little beauty.” He answered with a smile that almost made me sick it was so possessive. “Just make certain that your choice is one who is both prominent and wealthy.”

“All right.” I said and gave him another little nod. “I’ll just pretend my victim is you.”

He just laughed in response.

Then Sam entered the room and he looked from him to me. “Your consort will remain here while you perform your duties.

“I want your oath, warrior, here and now, that will not leave the citadel until your lady has returned with proof of her success in this venture.”

“If I don’t?” Sam questioned.

“Then I will negate her ability to choose when conception occurs.” Kae’song answered while watching me.

“Then you have it.” Sam glared at him.

“That isn’t enough.” The mage answered.

“I,” Sam let out a sigh, “give my oath that I will not leave this place until Dahlia, my consort has returned with proof of the success in her mission.

“Is that enough you bastard?”

“It is sufficient.” He answered then favored me with a nasty grin.

“Then give me the information I need to do this thing and let’s get it over with.” I growled.

“Oh of course.” Kae’song handed me a scroll. “All you need to know is on that. Learn it well and quickly because you leave tonight.”

“I’ll get it done.” I told him and hated myself more than a little for saying that and even contemplating the murder of someone.

But just then, I really didn’t have a choice in the matter.

Dammit. Like I’ve said before, being this really cool magical being really sucks at times.

 

I got into my leathers, armor, enchanted of course, courtesy of Kae’song. The stuff wouldn’t stand up in a face to face fight, but it was good enough to keep accidental damage, or stuff I should be able to dodge from doing catastrophic damage.

It was a dull, dark brown. I found out that black isn’t a color that happens in nature and so would really stand out — who knew? Fortunately for moi, the armorers did. The pants and top hugged me like a second skin, too. Now that was embarrassing, and getting the stuff on was a chore. And girls back home complain about what it takes to get into a pair of tight jeans…

At least it didn’t restrict my motion, or creak like leather usually does. But it really doesn’t leave all that much to the imagination far as my figure is concerned. Gods, if my complexion showed blushes that would be even more embarrassing.

Sam was watching my ass in that tight, tight leather and I could hear him drooling even though I wasn’t looking at him. “Stop it, Sam. These are my work clothes even if they are embarrassing.”

“Well, this is part of your job that I won’t complain about at all.” He said with a chuckle.

“Lech.”

“Guilty as charged.” He agreed easily enough. “But look at it this way, I’m your lech.”

“There is that, I guess.” I sighed then started getting my weapons and stuff together. Thieve’s tools, enough throwing knives that I was surprised I was able to hide them all and some of the places I did hide them I am sooo not talking about here. A pair of matched stilettos, needle pointed and slender blades, at sheaths on my thighs, and one very heavy, business-like dirk on my belt.

With several packets of herbs, most of which would be very nasty to imbibe. Okay, so it was my do it yourself poison kit, I admit it.

“How do you not clank or wince from something cutting you when you just move?” Sam asked.

“Tricks of the trade, I guess.” Shrugging and making sure nothing would make noise or accidently impale me with that gesture, I gave him a weak grin. “Don’t ask. It took me over a month to learn how to do this right. And the lessons tended to hurt if I got them wrong.”

“That I can believe.”

“Given some of the places I hide things,” I grimaced, “I learned really fast.”

“I’ll bet.”

“I’d offer to teach you, just to be mean.” I looked at him then actually laughed. “But you don’t have some of the places I do to get it done right.”

“Somehow,” he actually looked a little pale and greenish, “I don’t think I mind that so much.”

“Me neither.” I walked over and kissed him. “You’d lose some parts I’ve kind of gotten attached to recently to even be able to learn some of those tricks.”

“I figured that one out already.” He chuckled then took my shoulders in his hands and looked into my face. “You be careful.”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I will. I have a scroll with a spell that will give me the seeming of a human woman, and before you ask, yes I’ve copied it already. That’s a spell I want to know how to do, and a nice heavy cloak with a hood to use if that goes bad.”

“So far I haven’t had that much to reassure me about how things are going to turn out well around here.” Sam told me.

“Me neither.” I admitted. “So now we start working on making our own luck. Once I get back.”

“Just come back whole.” He told me.

“I plan on it.” I answered then left before I could have second thoughts.

I went in a coach. I guess that was his nastiness’ way of making sure someone was keeping tabs on me. As if that was needed given the oath he’d pulled out of Sam. One of these days I was sooo going to kill that damned mage. Preferable slowly and with lots of screaming involved. His.

That thought made me slow down and think about things. The old me would have never contemplated the first part, the killing thing, let alone the warm, pleasant feeling I was getting when I thought of Kae’song writhing on a table in front of me and bleeding all over the place.

I really wasn’t a nice person any longer. And I blamed him for that, too.

After a few hours, the coach stopped and the driver opened the door. “We’re here, Lady.”

“All right.” I felt his fear of me, even savored it for a moment and wondered just what kind of person I was becoming while vowing to push things like those feelings down in the future. “Give me a minute here, and close the door. I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

“As you say, m’lady.” He responded, almost appearing relieved to be away from me. Almost? Hell, he was relieved.

The seeming, or illusion was a good one. Once I’d used it I appeared to be a common young woman, still beautiful, but not dressed as anyone extraordinary. Not quite a tavern wench, definitely not a whore, but no lady, either. Giving my now creamy pale hands and arms a look I was shocked to discover that seeing a complexion like I’d had originally felt wrong. It was actually kind of unsettling for me to be so pale.

I was wearing a long, loose skirt with a few petticoats under it, loose blouse and kirtle (girdle that ties into place from the front and is nowhere near as constrictive as a girdle) and my hair was a dark blonde. Another thing that jarred. I was already used to the snow white mass of hair I had and it not being there didn’t feel right at all.

Okay, I admit it already. I’d gotten used to how I looked on this world and the female Dhro’aaa I’d become wasn’t hard to look at. Not at all. Vanity had me and I knew it. My human guise just then was gorgeous, but it didn’t hold a guttering candle to what I was without the disguise.

Also, appearing to be merely human was something that wasn’t sitting well with me either. Sheesh.

And a month ago I’d have given my soul to just be human again.

Oddly, the female part of all that barely registered at all.

Which place did you secure my room in?” I asked the coachman once I’d alighted from the conveyance with my disguise in place.

“That one.” He pointed to a not so bad looking Inn/Tavern with a sign showing a Unicorn performing very vulgar acts with a sheep. “But it is only one room, lady. I apologize but that was all that was available.”

“It’ll do.” I assured him. “I don’t plan to live there, after all.”

He relaxed and his fear of me was palpable enough for me to taste its salty, sour/sweet essence. I shook my head and put one hand on his arm in spite of his flinch. “Listen, offer me no harm and I’ll offer you none, now relax, I’m not going to eat your soul for a bedtime snack anytime in the near future.”

“As you wish, Lady.” He answered and bowed to me. At least that very distracting terrified scent he had been putting out was gone.

“Make sure the horses and coach are being taken care of then go have a few drinks and a meal.” I told him while pressing a handful of copper pieces into his hand. “Then go rest. I won’t be doing anything important until tomorrow night at least.”

“Thank you, Lady.” He actually bowed once he’d said that. How weird is that? I’ve never had someone bow to me before.

“Just make sure you and the coach are ready to fly tomorrow night.” I told him. “My work here should be done by then.”

“It will be as you command, lady.” He told me.

“I’m sure it will.” I answered with a smile then turned to walk into the inn, tavern, whatever. That sign made me a bit nervous, too, by the way.

The interior of The Unicorn lived up to its billing. You wouldn’t believe some of things I saw going on in plain sight there. The common room was full of cutthroats, low lives, and criminals who had managed to evade the local law. Fun place, actually.

And full of information if you could pay for it, or flirt until some goof would tell you his deepest secrets. (Not that hard to do in that place and with the way I currently appeared. I was rather well endowed up top in this guise, with hips that hinted at wonderful things for a man so inclined.)

So, I smiled, gave kisses, endured the touches, pinches and outright gropes through the evening. I guess I did it well, the tavern keeper offered me a job at some point there.

But I’d also gotten the information I wanted.

Taking twelve hot baths wouldn’t clean off the way I’d had to get that, but there was nothing I could do about it.

It was done, I knew what I needed, and had a target I wouldn’t feel terrible about killing.

But I took a bath anyway, and threw things at the men who tried to sneak in for a peek. Sharp things. That really hurt when they hit.

And no, I didn’t throw my knives at them. Pieces of a broken pot worked quite nicely for that. Then I had to squirm back into that damned armor.

I spent the next day just wandering around in the mercantile section of town while watching my target at work and letting him watch me.

I enticed his attentions with some judicious twitches of hip and bottom, and subtle arches of my back to show off just how well equipped I was to nurse babies. The illusion I was wearing was at least twice the size I really was, but I still felt the weight and strain on my back all day long. But Salar the slave trader had noticed me. I suspected he planned to take me, have his fun then add me to his wares.

But that was okay. He wasn’t going to reach the ‘sampling my wares’ part of things anyway, let alone anything else.

The slimy, disgusting shit.

Okay, I’d feel bad about the killing thing, but not about my chosen victim. Sue me.

“So tell me about your family, Nera.” Salar questioned. Nera was the name I’d chosen for my present appearance and I pushed my breasts into his admittedly expert hands as he asked.

“Dead.” I told him then gave him what I hoped was a winsome little smile mixed with sorrow. “Raiders hit the farm while I was in town selling our produce and when I returned there was — no one alive and all the buildings were — burning.” I put a few believable little catches in my voice and sobs into that one.

“I had the money from what I’d sold that day, and some more from a hole back in the pasture that the bandits missed, so I came here to find employment.” I told him and could see the dollars signs, or gold piece signs, in his eyes. Greedy, nasty little bastard.

“I can help you with that.” He assured me, still groping and when he thought I wasn’t looking, shaking a packet of powder into my watered down wine.

“Oh, I know you can, lover.” I answered, losing the halfway vapid, ignorant, innocent farm girl tones and enunciation as I slowly pushed one of my needle pointed stilettos between his ribs and made sure I hit his heart. He didn’t bleed much at all since his heart had stopped so quickly, and I left the stiletto where it was, with the note attached and now pinned to his dead body.

“You didn’t deserve to live you rat bastard.” I sweetly told the body while patting its cheek and kissing its cooling lips. “Have a good time in Hell, sweetie.”

After that I got up and went to the door. Then came the really hard part.

I dropped my illusion so everyone could see me as I really was, in that really embarrassing leather armor, by the way. “Kae’song sends his regards.”

Then I slowly turned away and walked out the door. After that I beat feet to where I knew the carriage was waiting. Hey I’m not a fool. Even a mob of enraged farmers could do a lot of damage, even kill me, if I let them catch me. I did not want that to happen.

Proof, dammit I forgot to get that.

Sighing, I turned back to go get it.

Fortunately, everyone was still trying to figure out just what exactly I’d done. My stiletto was hidden in the folds of Salar’s cloak. I managed to use shadow to sneak back there and start looking for something that Kae’song would accept as proof.

Ring, big, ostentatious, ugly, on his second finger. That would work.

But I couldn’t get the damned thing off his finger.

No matter how much I pulled, jerked, pried, or whatever. I’d have used soap or oil, but of course I’d forgotten to bring oil. (memo to self: Always take oil with you.)

Worse, the tavern clientele had noticed I was back.

Not good.

I finally gave up trying to get the ring lose and just took the finger with the ring on it. Messy, very messy, even if the body is dead and the heart isn’t pumping blood. Trust me don’t try that one at home, kids.

But there I was, staring at a rather belligerent mob of drunks and with my one clear exit blocked. (Memo to self number two: Always map out alternate exits.)

Oh yeah, with that nasty, blood dripping finger (the ring was still on it at least) held between forefinger and thumb of my right hand.

“Uh, look guys.” I told them. “I have nothing against you. Couldn’t you just, you know, let me walk out of here?”

One of them threw a bench at me. I guess not on that last question.

“Look.” I asked sometime later as I was slamming the barkeeps face into his counter. “Can’t we just talk this over like civilized people?”

Another patron swung his sword, it was rusty and he was clumsy with it by the way, at me. Okay guess not on the discussion thing.

“Do I have to waste my effort to kill all of you idiots and burn this misbegotten place to the ground?!!” I finally lost my patience and shouted. “It’s been fun, but I really need to go now.”

The seven guys left standing, hefty and well armed, by the way, looked at each other, the shambles the place was in, the unconscious, bleeding, broken, cut idiots on the floor or lying across tables and looked at each other, put their weapons away, and grinned.

“Good fight.” Their leader told me then moved behind the bar. “Let’s have one drink to celebrate it and we’ll hope we never see each other again.”

“Works for me.” I agreed, glad for all the times I’d sparred with Sam unarmed. He’d have cleaned this place out in seconds, by the way. Okay maybe it would have taken him minutes. He’s my guy and I’m biased.

I had the drink, a not bad ale, the innkeeper had been holding out with the good stuff it seems, gave them each a kiss on the cheek, then just walked out the door. Oh, I had to locate the finger and ring in the mess, but the guys helped me do that. Sheesh.

So went my very first assassination. So much for being the sneaky, unseen type on that one.

 

---

Author’s Note:Dahlia has learned a few things about her new self. Now it’s time for coming to terms with some of those. And no, she is still not a happy camper.

“I killed a man!” I shouted at Sam, and my maids made themselves scarce while watching things from the safety of another room. They were used to my tantrums by then, but also were smart, and brave enough to stay close to help quell the results of my worst ones.

“True.” He answered and grabbed me, which he needed to do with all the pacing and fuming I was doing then tenderly hugged me. “But he was bad, a very bad, man, love.”

“But it wasn’t in a fair fight!” I retorted, trying — not so hard, by the way — to get out of his insistent, gentle embrace. “I flirted with him, I led him on, and he didn’t even know he was dead until I’d done it and told him.”

“And all that tells me is that you’re good at what you were meant to do here.” Sam countered. “He didn’t suffer did he?”

“No.” I sniffled, and since when had I started that girly stuff like sniffling? “I made it quick, and it was mostly painless.”

“Dahlia, my love, my life.” Sam hugged me tighter. “You made a good choice in who to kill, though that in itself sucks. But you didn’t pick a good man to do it to. Did you feel a need to find a genuinely good man and kill him?”

“No.” I snuffled some more against his chest. “But I killed him and he had no clue that I was going to do it.”

“You’re an assassin.” He soothed. “You aren’t the up in your face kind of character who would walk up, condemn him then get the job done in spectacular fashion in front of everyone. You are what you are, and you made the best of some bad choices there.

“And I would have really loved watching that bar fight.” He added with a chuckle and kiss to my cheek.

“It was kind of messy.” I told him and giggled in spite of myself. “I kept asking people to be reasonable but they didn’t want to be. It just kind of went south real fast there.”

“I can imagine.” Sam laughed. “And then you shared a drink with the guys who were still standing, that was classy.”

“I was thirsty.” I grumbled then let a little grin creep past my indignant attitude. “Besides, they weren’t bad guys, and they helped me find Salar’s finger when I left. They found a few that I wasn’t responsible for, too, I’ll have you know.”

“Given what I’ve heard about that particular tavern, that doesn’t surprise me at all.” Sam chuckled again and that deep rumble in his chest — I still had my chest against it — was about the sexiest thing I’d ever known.

But I shook that off. “Sam, I don’t like killing people who don’t know what I’m doing. Yeah, the guy deserved killing, tried to drug me and he thought I was a too innocent farm girl with a really nice rack, but I still killed him without a word of warning.”

“So what’s wrong with letting the really bad guys know that can happen?” He asked, hugging me tightly to keep me from stalking some more. “If they know there is someone out there who can get to them anytime, maybe, just maybe, they’ll slow down the things they’re doing.”

“Fat chance.” I spat out. “Low lives are low lives, my love.”

“But,” he countered, “low lives who know what could happen to them might just tend to be a bit less active while they’re looking over their shoulders and suspecting everyone around them.”

“I still don’t feel any better about this.” I spoke into his chest. “Not at all.”

“Of course you don’t love.” He answered then really whammied me. “That’s why you’re unique here, you know? You’re an ‘evil’ Dhro’aaa who only takes out evil people. That should drive our new people nuts.”

“Like we need any more problems.” I groused.

“You did well, my handmaiden.” Kae’song congratulated me then grimaced. “Though next time find another way to present your trophy, if you would.”

I widened my eyes and gave him my very best innocent look. “What? I just thought it would add an interesting flavor to your wine.”

Truthfully I was so pissed off when I returned that I’d simply tossed the severed finger — with the ring on it at the table. Could I help it if the thing plopped right into his goblet of wine? Okay, maybe I did aim that throw. A little.

He let out a sigh then actually chuckled. “I suppose I had that one coming, my dear. Do try to avoid the bar fight part next time, though.”

“Seemed to be the thing to do at the time.” I muttered then more loudly went on. “A girl has to take her fun where she can get it, you know.”

He actually laughed at that one. “Oh, Dahlia, you are a true gem.”

“Is there another reason for you summoning, me?” I questioned, not even wanting to go to that place with the guy. I was wearing some of my blatantly sexy stuff, so I figured he had guests coming.

“Another important visitor is here.” Fu Manchu nodded. “He should be here with us in a few moments. Please try not to look so threatening when he’s here. You’re quite lovely with your eyes flashing in resentment and anger, but you are lovely enough without that.”

He had never talked with me that way before. What was this? No veiled threats, no demands and he’d actually said please! Now I was confused. Okay, more confused than usual.

Just what the HE double hockey sticks was going on here?

“No promises.” I told him.

“No, you already know what making even an idle promise means to your kind.” He nodded and shrugged. “Just do try to be pleasant this time around if you would.”

“I’m never mean to your important guests.” I pouted. Then brightened. “Does he have underlings with him?”

“Yes, and be as nice as you are able to them as well.” He chuckled again.

Damn, I almost wanted to feel his forehead and take his temperature. This was sooo NOT the evil mage who had forced me to become this gorgeous, sexy, dangerous… Never mind, you get the idea, I’m sure.

“So what?” I questioned. “You expect me to just stand here or something?”

“No.” He told me and was all business again, ahh, the familiar Kae’song was back. I didn’t really know why that made me feel better. “I expect you to be an attentive hostess. Without the glares and threatening to gut someone if you don’t mind.”

Okay, he wasn’t back to being the evil mastermind I was used to. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Quite well, thank you.” He answered with a straight face. “But I appreciate your concern.”

Dammit. Had my erstwhile master changed sides or something? “I’ll try.”

“Good enough.” He nodded then waved me to a chair.

Now I was really puzzled, and concerned. What was this all about? And just who had taken the real Kae’song and replaced him with this stranger?

The guest was a knight of some kind. Oh he wasn’t in armor, but it showed in his physique. And yeah, I know, since when had I become a connoisseur and judge of a guy’s physique. Don’t ask me, it just happened somewhere along the line of improbabilities I was already dealing with.

Oh, this was a fine specimen, too, even if he was only Human. (You know, I really had to do something about that instant disdain for humans.) But not only was he a knight, he had power. Lots of it, though it was more subtle than Alis’ had been. This was one very dangerous human.

“Lord, allow to present my handmaiden, Dahlia.” Kae’song actually nodded towards me and smiled. This was just getting weirder and weirder.

“Dahlia, the lord Kevin Thenthas.” He actually introduced me! Formally! What was the devious bastard up to here?

“Hello.” I responded while frantically trying to figure out just why everything I had gotten used to in this insane place seemed to be taking a really radical left turn. But my internal pride, something that had come with the transformation and what I was now, just refused to call anyone ‘My lord’.

“A pleasure.” Lord Kevin took my hand and actually kissed it. I almost reared back and headed for the shadows. No one, no one, had ever treated me that way since I’d ended up here. “I see that you are everything the tales say, my Lady.”

“Oh, I’m sure you haven’t heard all the tales.” I answered, flustered and not exactly sure where to go from there.

“Hanas?” he raised an eyebrow and grinned. “You got rid of a particularly noxious person, and managed to orchestrate the incapacity of more than half the town’s thieve guild in one stroke, lady.”

Okay he did know. I hid my confusion by rising, not without a smile for the guy, and very carefully pouring wine for both of them. As I was doing that for Kae’song, I fiercely whispered. “I am not, absolutely NOT going to have sex with him.”

Kevin heard that and chuckled. “Have no fears for your virtue with me, dear lady. I’m pledged to another and have vowed celibacy until we are wed.”

Okaaay. So just what was going on here? Inquiring minds wanted to know, or at least one enquiring mind did.

“All right.” I stood between them, sharing glares equally and noted my hands were on my hips. “What is this? Why am I here right now?”

“Honestly, lady.” Kevin answered. “I had more than a little difficulty believing that there was actually one of your race in the world who wasn’t actively evil. I just wanted to see for myself, now calm down, pour yourself some of this excellent wine and join us, please.”

Holy crap. How, just how do you deal with something like that? Me, I poured myself a cup of wine and meekly seated myself at the table. I was waaay too confused to do anything else just then. “What about your retainers -- Lord Kevin? I questioned and winced internally at the honorific I’d allowed to get out from behind my teeth.

“They are being seen to adequately, lady.” Kevin smiled at me, actually smiled, and nodded at my cup. “Have a drink.”

Ohhh, maaan. What now? I did know one thing though. When this was over I was going to find a keg of wine, ale, or just beer, find somewhere private, and make sure it was empty before I did anything else.

“Did you drug me?” I asked Kae’song with narrowed eyes.

“No dear.” He laughed. “You passed the test I sent you on. Though as I said, the way you presented your trophy left something to be desired. Now you will start learning my real reasons for bringing you here and transforming you. If you had chosen a truly good person to be your victim then things would be very different now.”

Okay, now this was getting very seriously messed up. I took a very big sip of my wine, looked from one to the other of the guys, and let out a defeated sigh. “Okay. I suppose you’ll tell me what this is all about when you’re ready.”

“You will begin learning that tomorrow, lady.” Kae’song answered.

“You aren’t one of the bad guys, are you?” I glared at him then relented and just let myself look confused, which pretty well summed up my perceptions just then.

“No, I’m not.” The mage responded then added. “Now in front of a witness, I release you from your oath to me, and I release your consort. You are — how is it said where you come from? Free agents.”

“I need more wine.” I grumbled while getting my head around what had just happened. I’d felt the compulsion to obey him leave, felt the lack of it, and that scared me, too. Now, whatever I did would be on my own head with no one to blame for it but myself.

“Here you go, Dahlia.” Kae’song grinned while he poured more into my goblet.

Crap. Just when you actually think you have things figured out.

 

---

 

Author’s Note:Just when things seemed to be settling into place Dahlia’s more than a little weird world view had to take another setback. And no, she is STILL not a happy camper.
 

This is a short chapter, but it's a busy time of year as you all know. I just wanted to get the explanations started here. And thanks for all the comments on the story so far. As Lillith says, those help me to keep writing.

Maggie

I looked at Kae’song, then at Lord Kevin, closed my eyes and told the building headache to go bother someone else. Then I looked back, okay make that glared at, the mage. “Give me one reason for not just killing you right now for what you’ve done to me and Sam.”

I punctuated that with one of my throwing knives (yes, I had figured out how to hide them even in an outfit like I was wearing) thunking into the table to quiver between the second and third fingers of his left hand. “And it better be a really good one or you’re going to need to kill me to keep me from trying that.”

“Interesting.” Kevin nodded then actually chuckled before the mage could say anything. “Here for such a short time and already threatening a potent mage. It might be a good idea to learn some circumspection, dear lady.

“Though she already is quite formidable, my friend.” He finished and sat back to see what would happen next. “Oh, yes. Very formidable.”

I held up a hand to stop that. “I want Sam here to hear this one, too. He deserves to know why you yanked us out of our world and changed us into what we are now.”

“Fair enough, lady.” Kevin answered and waved one of his retainers forward. That fellow seemed more than a little reluctant to approach even with the protection of his lord to depend on.

I sighed and waved the man forward. “Oh for the god’s sake, I’m not angry at you, man and I don’t kill innocents in a fit of temper, just ask my maids when you meet them. You’re safe enough from me.”

Kevin gave me another searching look, nodded and told the man, “Send a servant to fetch the lady’s consort if you would, Trace. I believe Kae’song is going to be rather busy for the next few minutes.”

“You are a most unusual Dhro’aaa, Dahlia.” Kae’song told me and I could see both amusement and surprise in his expression. “I am most impressed and pleased, but I know that is no help at the moment, please sit calmly, sip some of this excellent wine, and Kevin and I will do our best to explain once your — husband arrives.”

I didn’t even flinch at that or bother to argue the point. I had made the pledge to Sam, and for some reason I still had problems working out, had meant every word of it. And it still felt good when I thought about it. I was sooo messed up. But at least that part of the ‘messed up’ was singing and very, very happy about the situation. Gah! Go figure.

So I politely sipped my wine and fingered another throwing knife I had in an easy to reach place.

“How do you hide those things so well?” Kevin questioned while giving me a puzzled look. “I usually detect weapons when they enter a room, but I didn’t notice the one you so adeptly set between my friend’s fingers or the one you are so lovingly fingering now until you touched either one.”

“A girl is entitled to a few secrets, don’t you think?” I asked sweetly then grinned. “But I do need to work on people noticing when I touch them.”

“Indeed, my lady.” Kevin smiled and nodded. “Oh, indeed. It might help to hide that blissful expression on your face when you touch them.”

I couldn’t help it. I had to laugh at that one.

“You two were an experiment.” Kae’song told us after Sam had joined the group at the table and been given his own cup of wine. “Highcaste Dhro’aaa are magically gifted in varying degrees, or have other exemplary skills such as being warriors, thieves, assassins, or with the females, priestesses. A lot of good could be done if those skills could be used for something other than simply killing and terrorizing other beings.”

“I seem to be pretty good at that terrorizing part.” I shot back. “And I don’t like it.”

“That speaks well of you, lady.” Kevin put in then gestured to the mage. “But please, allow Kae’song to finish what he is trying to tell you.”

That was it, something in me snapped and had to work to keep myself from screaming. What came out was a hissed, very scary whisper. “Lady! Me? That’s part of the problem here! I was a man! A Human male with a woman I was planning to marry, to be a husband to. Now I’m some fantasy female sex dream who frightens babies if they see me. Why?!!”

“I hadn’t expected that to happen, Dahlia.” Kae’song answered once I’d calmed down a little. He waved off my argument on that one before I could get it properly aimed and went on. “Please believe me when I tell you that I was probably more surprised than you when you turned out to be female after the transformation. It wasn’t planned, or planned for. Something in your own being, your soul, spirit, whatever you choose to call it decided that. I had intended to end up with a pair of high caste Dhro’aaa males. Why is not important now.”

“To make little Dhro’aaa.” I growled at him.

“Nurture against nature.” He nodded. “But we would have had to capture two females of your new race to manage that. We would have done so, but when things turned out as they did, it was clear there was no need for that.

“There are those of us who believe that the Dhro’aaa can be other than evil creatures, Dahlia.” He went on. “But to find if that was true we required some of the race not steeped in the culture of their people from birth. Now that is not needed, you and Sam both fight the natures your forms impose on you here and your acts in Haran proved that without doubt.

“You could have chosen a good man to kill, and terrorized other innocents while completing your task.” The mage told me with a little smile. “Instead, you found the worst man you could, were merciful when you killed him, and bothered no one else.

“Except for that brawl in the tavern.” He chuckled and I had to grin in spite of my anger at him. “So my theories are in part vindicated. I took both of you from your home world because by doing that I effectively got innocents in Dhro’aaa form.”

I nodded, still not buying it, then something else he’d said earlier hit home. My brain said ‘WTF?’ and I turned another glare on the mage. “Okay, but hold on here. You’re saying something in me wanted to be female?”

“No, Dahlia.” He sighed, and gave me a strangely affectionate look. “Something in you needed to be female.”

I wanted to argue, I really did. But I looked at Sam, felt our connection, our love for one another, and couldn’t do it. “I’m not going to make babies for you to experiment on.”

“No.” Kae’song nodded and shrugged. “There is no need for that now. Any children you and Sam have will not be tampered with. I give you my oath on that.”

“Maybe I’ll kill you tomorrow, Kae’song.” I shook my head and sighed as I retrieved my throwing knife. “Right now I’m too tired to try it.”

“Take your lady home, Samthien.” Lord Kevin said softly. “If she still wishes to kill Kae’song once she’s had some rest, we’ll deal with the matter then. Is that acceptable for the moment, lady?”

“It’ll do for now.” I answered while my head swam with trying to deny and agree all at the same time with what the mage had told me about my transformation. “It might be a few days, though.”

Or a few months, years, lifetimes…

---

 

Author’s Note:Okay, things are definitely NOT going according to plan here, at least not for Dahlia. Did Dylan really have some deep seated need to be female? And if that is the case, how in the world (the new one she’s in) can she reconcile that to leaving loved ones behind. Then there is the part where she has to figure out just what Kae’song and company are really up to.
 

I stumbled back into our quarters with Sam’s help and hardly complained when he very gently sat me on a couch and started massaging my neck and shoulders. I did manage to note through the haze I was in that he was very careful not to massage other parts.

Marisol, the more adventurous of my maids approached and questioned. “Is she all right, my lord?”

The concern in her voice and expression warmed my heart and I did notice that Brigid and Evangaline appeared worried, too.

“I think she will be soon.” Sam reassured them. “The lady just received some news that she wasn’t expecting and she’s trying to assimilate it just now.”

“We are here for you, lady.” Marisol told me and meant it, I could tell, while Brigid and Evangaline nodded in agreement and voiced the same sentiments. She then turned back to Sam and said. “What we need to do to help we will, my lord. If the lady won’t tell us, let us know and we will do it.”

I realized I loved those girls, and not in a guy to girl way. I just loved them, odd as that seemed with my sudden disdain for humans. I mumbled, “Thank you, Marisol, Brigid, and Evangaline. You have no idea of what that means to me right now. Now please, leave me and my husband alone. We have things to discuss in private.”

Their eyes lit up and they giggled at my calling Sam my husband, then made themselves scarce.

“Okay, husband.” I told Sam and saying that didn’t even make me flinch a little inside, in fact it felt disturbingly good to say that. “What do you think about what Kae’song said about me needing to be female?”

“It was always there, Dahlia.” He answered slowly and gave me a look that was both sad and content. “Dylan never did quite fit in with the rest of the guys even when he was out partying and doing his best to be a guy.”

“No one seemed to notice that.” I answered, though had to admit that he was right. I’d never felt really at ease with the guys and their jokes, their comments about women, or their interests.

“I did.” He told me simply then added. “We’ve known each other since grade school, you know. I could tell that there was something about you that you weren’t happy about even if you didn’t know it yourself.

“Our other guy friends never quite caught it, but they hadn’t known you as long as I had. I could see that something was bothering you and wanted, just wanted, to help you make that right, so you wouldn’t be so uncomfortable, or in pain, the way you were.”

“What?” I asked not quite believing what he was saying. “Are you saying I wanted to be girl all my life?”

“No, Dahlia.” He countered and shrugged. “Dylan didn’t know that, and would have gotten into a fight if anyone had even mentioned the idea to him.”

“You’re talking as if Dylan is dead. I’m right here, beside you.”

“You are.” He said with a little sigh. “But Dylan isn’t.”

“What?”

“Dylan wasn’t happy with himself and never could figure out why.” Sam told me, careful not to touch me as he said it. “Dahlia may complain and protest, but you actually like who and what you are now, okay without the evil inclinations thing, but you are happy with the rest, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know.” I lied then got off the couch. “I need to go think about this for awhile. Alone.”

“Take all the time you need.” He nodded then hit me with the really big whammy. “Dahlia, I willingly gave my blood and promise when we first got here. Hate me for that if you want, but back home I couldn’t show you what I’ve always felt for you.”

“I kind of know what that is now,” I nodded, “for obvious reasons. But back when we were both guys?”

“It wasn’t guy to guy, even then, my love.” Sam stolidly told me. “It was like my soul knew yours and was in love with it, and you as a result.”

“But.”

“No buts, Dahlia.” He firmly told me. “I’ve always loved you and always will, now go think things through about that, scream at me, throw things, set stuff on fire, whatever. But go think about it, okay?”

I did.

Back to a balcony. I did seem to spend a lot of time out on one of these things lately. And yes, it was snowing and blowing again.

I didn’t care.

“Something in you needed to be female.” Kae’song had told me.

Was that true?

I started going back over things in my life, with consideration for what Sam had just told me.

But was it true? Did I somehow influence the transformation spell so I came out female?

Had something inside me seen the chance and taken it to make sure I would be female in this world?

Had I really, deep down, wanted that?

And why was it so easy for me to love Sam now? It couldn’t be simply put down to biology, could it?

No, I couldn’t have. Just couldn’t have wanted something like that all my life, surely, without consciously at least knowing something, could I?

So I sat there in the cold and thought, went through memories I hadn’t really looked at for quite awhile.

And yes, the clues had been there clear for me to see now that I was looking at things from the outside, so to speak. Like the way I’d never really fit with the other guys, and was actually uncomfortable about how they would talk about girls at times. In fact sometimes I got angry over some of things they said.

Plus how I’d always taken pains to exercise and play the roughest sports I could find — to prove something. To both myself and others, I suppose, but mostly to myself. How I’d get myself hurt doing that kind of thing to just show how tough I was. I always told myself I had to do that, compensate for my size and build by being that much tougher than the next guy.

And no matter what had happened, how obnoxious (unintentionally) I was about some things, Sam was always there, helping me over the rough spots and making sure someone was around to pick me up when I’d crash into some wall figurative or otherwise.

I’d genuinely liked Carolyn from the first time I’d met her and had been ecstatic when she agreed to marry me, but had I actually loved her or had I been going through the motions with that, too? Much to my shame, I thought it was the latter and that would have been a terrible injustice to a truly wonderful, caring young woman.

“Lady.” Marisol quietly interrupted my roiling thoughts and I realized just how cold I truly was. My new form wasn’t bothered as badly by it as I had been when human but I wasn’t immune to it either. My hands and feet had gone numb, along with my nose. I didn’t mind the numbness just then. “You should come in now, lady, you’re freezing out here.”

“Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.” I quietly answered without really looking at her. “My whole life was a lie I’d been telling myself and others, and now I’m a monster to go along with that. Freezing to death doesn’t seem like such a bad thing right now.”

“Then I will freeze with you, lady.” The girl answered simply and joined me on the cold bench.

“Don’t.” I ordered. “Go inside, please.”

“Not without you.” She said with a firmness in her voice I’d seldom heard. “If you insist on being a fool and freezing to death out here, then I shall be one, too. I think though, that I’ll go before you.”

“I can’t let you do that, you know I can’t.” I told her. “I promised to cause no harm to you.”

“Then come inside and sit in front of the fire with me, lady.” She simply told me without moving to get off the bench.

“You don’t fight fair, Marisol.” I had to grin at the girl as I forced myself to stand then waved to the door. “All right, you win. We go inside.”

I didn’t realize just how cold I really was until Marisol got me seated in front of blazing fire and pressed a cup of mulled wine into my hand. I had to set the cup down for a while as I shivered. Once that went away I again took the cup and sipped gratefully at it. “Thank you Marisol.”

“It is my duty, lady.” She answered with a shrug.

“No, I mean for bullying me into coming back inside.”

“As I said.” The girl smiled at me and shook her head. “You are a fearsome being, lady. Headstrong, subject to ill tempers, and a sadness I don’t fully understand. But you are not a monster. I do not know who and what you were before coming here, but what you are now is the lady I have pledged to serve and I, along with the others, have come to love that lady. We would be most upset if you allowed yourself to freeze to death for something so foolish as self pity or anger at circumstances you cannot change.”

“Good point.” I nodded and leaned back into the chair with a sigh of contentment. “I have been more than a bit of an idiot here, haven’t I?”

“It’s allowed.” My maid smiled. “But only on rare occasions. Please try to not make a habit of it?”

“I won’t.” I laughed and that felt good, too. “What would you say if I told you that where I came from originally, that I had been male?”

“Only that would have been such a terrible waste of a fine, strong, feminine and female spirit, lady.” She answered thoughtfully. “What was is gone, now it is time to embrace what is.”

“Right again.” I shook my head. “How did you become so wise in such a short time?”

“Oh,” she laughed and shook her head, “I am no wise woman, just a woman.”

“A young woman who is also wise.” I argued then waved her protest away. “No need to argue that one, Marisol. Is Sam still in our chambers?”

“Yes, lady.”

“Would you please let him know that I’m safe to be around now and ask him to come in here?”

“Of course, m’lady.”

“Come over here and sit down, please.” I patted the couch beside me and gave him a tentative smile once he’d come back in.

He did, and I unconsciously moved so my side was pressed against his and just savored the warmth for a few breaths. “You were, as usual, right. I was such an idiot back there.”

“You were doing what you thought you needed to.” He told me and moved so his arm was around my shoulders, don’t beat yourself up over something like that, okay?”

“Oh, I’m not going into another pity party here.” I smiled up at him and let out a little sigh. “Marisol pretty much kicked my butt out of that outside a bit ago.”

“Good.” Sam smiled back at me. “For a bit there I thought I was going to have to go out and drag both of you back inside. I was getting a little worried there. Stubborn females.”

“I am that.” I admitted then put my hands to his cheeks and gently pulled his face down to mine. “Stubborn and female and I’m ready to accept both those things about myself now.”

“You sure of that?” He asked softly.

“Oh,yeah.” I punctuated that with a lip lock that would have warmed up one of those statues outside just then.

“I guess you have then.” He took a breath and pulled my more tightly to his side. “I just want you to be sure is all.”

“Sam.” I lightly elbowed him in the ribs and gave him a mock threatening look. “I get the feeling that I’ll be spending the rest of my life as I more or less am now whether I accept it, kick and scream all the way, or actually embrace it. Truthfully, I think the last option is probably the best one for me.”

“Yes, I think it is, and not just because I’m being selfish here.” He nodded thoughtfully and grinned. “But I am being selfish. I want you as you are and fully intend to grow old and crotchety with you. But best for your own peace of mind.”

“How about that?” I shook my head and marveled. “My body finally matches my soul and it’s all because of an accident.”

“So you aren’t blaming Kae’song for you being female any longer?”

“No.” I gave him a wicked little grin and went on. “But the guy still has a lot of explaining to do.”

“That he does, my love that he does.” Sam laughed in response.

When we returned to the conference room, or whatever it was called around here, the next day there was an extra visitor. I gave Alis a curious look then a nod. “Lady Alis, sorry I didn’t accept your invitation. A couple of things kind of got in the way just about when Sam and I had decided to simply walk out one of the gates and keep going.”

“So you did work that out.” The woman nodded and offered me a smile. “I thought you had, though overall I am glad you didn’t leave here.”

“Lord Kevin, Kae’song.” I greeted the other two as Sam and I seated ourselves at the table. There was actually a servant in attendance to serve refreshment that time.

“I gather you are in a somewhat better frame of mind than you were exhibiting yesterday?” Kevin questioned lightly but I could see he was prepared for the worst possible outcome.

“You can relax, Lord, Lady, Kae’song.” I looked at them and gave a small smile. “You have my word that neither I or my — husband will try killing any of you today. We do reserve the right to do so tomorrow, though, if you three don’t start making sense.”

“An entire day?” Alis chuckled and shook her head. “Well, that is a start, I suppose.”

“One day at a time, Lady, Gentlemen.” I nodded with a wicked grin while accepting a goblet of wine. “So who starts this?”

“Why you do, lady Dahlia.” Alis responded with a tilt of her head. “I’m sure you two have some specific questions you would like to have answered as quickly as possible.”

“Oh yeah.” I nodded and tried to figure out where to start.

---

 

Author’s Note:Some days it just seems like too much trouble for someone to do much but go with the flow. Dahlia may be comfortable with her new self now, but she still isn’t completely comfortable with how she got there, or with the motives of the three who seem to be responsible for her and Sam being where and what they are.
 

Again to all of you following, speculating and commenting on this story. Thank you. I won’t say it’s as good as money, but it does help keep me writing. Also,I've been pretty regular with posting chapters to this story and that won't stop. I'm having way too much fun with the story. But I may not have another one up till after Christmas.

Thanks.

Maggie

I looked at the three then at Sam, let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair, I still thought the furniture in this place was almost sinfully comfortable. “All right, first off, I don’t trust any of you three as far as I could throw you. You took us from our home, our lives, and even if we have been treated well overall, the fact remains that you basically kidnapped us. We had businesses, we were successful, I was getting married in few months and I know Sam had a few romantic interests of his own going back there. So that leads to my first question. Again, and none of that crap about the resonance of our souls or spirits. I want the truth this time around, all of it. Why us?”

“That would involve a very long explanation, lady.” Kae’song told me and winced at my own expression.

“We have all day here.” I reminded him.

“True enough.” He nodded and shrugged. Very well it all begins with the portal that brought the two of you here…”

It was a long explanation. The gist of that part was that portals between worlds (and yes there are more than one or two worlds.) are very difficult to create, hold together, and use. The really unbelievable part was the things didn’t actually transport anyone to anywhere. What they do is ‘read’ the person(s) body, mind, and soul, then create a duplicate of that on the world of the portal's origin.

“So what you’re telling me is Sam and I here are copies?” I questioned to give myself time to get my already bruised and abused mind around the concept. “That we, the so called originals, are still going about our business back home?”

“Not quite.” Alis interjected and I gave her one of those warning looks I seemed to getting a knack for so well. She shook her head and smiled, if a bit sadly. “A portal will only ‘transport’ someone who is going to die soon where they are. Soulless bodies are quite dangerous to allow out and about without a lot of supervision, so it did actually bring your souls over to inhabit the bodies it made for you here.”

“What does that ‘not quite’ mean, exactly?” I asked even though I was sure I wasn’t going to like or want to believe the answer I was going to get. Are you trying to tell me that Sam and I are dead back on our home world? Please don’t tell us that.”

“I’m sorry, Lady Dahlia, I truly am.” She answered softly and the little lie meter I seemed to possess, didn’t ding in warning. (Okay it doesn’t really ding, but I need some way to describe how I can tell if someone is telling the truth or not.)

“There was a gang of thugs in that strange stable you left your conveyance in.” Kevin took over and spoke softly, almost soothingly. “I believe they are called ‘Gang Bangs’?

“Gang Bangers, I absently corrected him. “Gang Bang is a little different.”

“Thank you.” He nodded and went on. “These ‘Gang Bangers’ wanted your conveyance, the jewelry you were both wearing, and your money. I’m afraid they weren’t at all gentle or subtle about getting those. Both your old bodies were dead minutes after the portal took you. But did give a good account of themselves, if that’s any help.”

“Not really.” I looked towards Sam and could see he was feeling much the same things I was. “Why should we believe that?”

“Because of this.” Kevin tapped a gemstone mounted in a simple copper base. “It is a Truthstone, no one is able to lie effectively when it is activated and I assure you it is working right now.”

“Sure, pull the other one.” I grumbled and Alis rose from her seat and took my hand. “Come with me a moment and I will prove that much to you.”

I allowed myself to be pulled to a spot about twenty feet away from the table, mainly because my mind was sending alarms out to all points regarding overload, I think. “So what is this supposed to prove?

“We are outside the radius of the stone.” She told me then directed me to look at the table. “You are magically capable, Dahlia. Look at the table, and the stone, then tell me what you see.”

“A glow?” I questioned. “Kind of a silvery gold glow?”

“The Aura of Truth.” She confirmed and went on. “Now I will tell you something that is a blatant lie out here then tell the same lie within that aura. You’ll be able to tell the difference.”

She did, I did. This magic stuff was kind of cool and all, but it bordered on being freaky enough to have the old me running for the nearest psych help had I seen anything like it before that portal had grabbed us.

“I believe you.” I told Kevin with a flatness in my voice that clearly showed that I didn’t really wish to do that.

So we were dead back home. Somehow that tied in so neatly with my sudden acceptance of being what I was that I couldn’t help but remain suspicious. I mean sure, the thing betrayed lies, but that still didn’t compel anyone to give all the truth, I was sure of that.

“Your souls were ready to move on.” Kae’song continued quietly. “And they fit our requirements perfectly. You were both decent sorts who always tried to do the right thing for the sake of those around you even if it wasn’t always the easiest thing to do.”

“So you’re telling us that you saved our lives?” Sam questioned with a skeptical look.

“Not at all, Sam.” Alis shrugged. “We simply redirected your souls to new lives instead of letting them simply drift into another as would have happened. Your souls would have moved on to something else regardless.”

“So you ‘redirected us into lives that would benefit you.” I stated.

“Honestly, yes we did.” Kevin answered that one. “We won’t and never have lied to either of you about that. It is a truly rare being who could refuse a gift from the gods that your situation presented us, and as you’ve already deduced, Lady Dahlia, none of us here are in line for sainthood.”

“No shit.” I grimaced then very carefully pushed my anger, and yes, grief back down to where they could fuss and fume all they liked without disturbing the present conversations. Very carefully, I looked at each of the three then asked the question that had been bugging me since Sam and I had gotten to this insane place. “All right, so just who and what are you three and what do you want us for?”

“A fair question.” Kae’song responded while directing the servant to refill my goblet and place a platter of fruits and nuts in front of me. “Obviously, we aren’t completely good, but we aren’t evil, Dahlia.”

“Look, your treatment of me and Sam has shown that you aren’t totally evil.” I told him. “Then you did take pains to make sure we got training in our natural skills even if those could prove detrimental or even dangerous for you. Okay, you aren’t evil. But if you aren’t good either, what does that leave?”

“A lot of ‘wiggle room’ as people where you come from often say.” He chuckled then turned serious. “Lady Dahlia, Lord Kevin, Lady Alis, and myself are part of a group dedicated to maintaining the balance.”

“Why do I think that last one should have been capitalized and in bold print?” I questioned.

“Because, my lady,” Kevin added his own chuckle into things, “you are not even close to being a fool.”

“When people CAPITALIZE words it usually means trouble for someone else.” I countered.

“Of course it does, dear.” Alis nodded at me in approval. “You have a fine understanding of politics and how emphasis on otherwise innocent things can influence an entire world and more importantly how the people in that world think of something and perceive it.”

“Dammit Sam.” I grumbled. “We fell in with propaganda freaks.”

“Oh, not quite.” Kevin was laughing and he really thought it was funny. “You have such an interesting way with words, m’lady. And your expressions and body language say so much more than your words do. It is refreshing to finally find someone of power who has no use for all the prevarications, machinations, and excuses most of the powerful rely on. It will be interesting to see if you can maintain that in the times to come.”

“Powerful? Me?” I shook my head and worked really hard not to grind my teeth. “I’m a pawn right now. How can that be powerful?”

“Even a pawn, under the right circumstances, can become a queen, dear lady.” He answered quite seriously. “And yes, we have chess here so I understand your reference. The question here is whether or not you are prepared to be that queen when the time comes, and if you can put up with being a pawn until then.”

“Damned if I know.”

“Honesty is a good start.” He told me and seemed to be pleased with my response.

“You’re dodging the original question here.” I told them, trying to deflect the speculative looks and other things I was getting from those three. “Just what the Hell are you guys, then?”

“We hold the balance, lady.” Alis answered. “If one side, evil/good, light/dark, law/chaos, achieves ascendency and remains there the world will suffer greatly. We and others with us are dedicated to seeing that such an imbalance doesn’t occur, or if it does we make sure it will not last long enough to damage the world.”

“Oh, crap.” I turned to Sam. “We’ve landed in a bunch of fanatical neutrals.”

“Exactly Lady Dahlia.” Kevin smiled as if he was congratulating me for getting an A on a difficult algebra test.

Sam ignored that, looked at me and said, “Oh shit.”

---

 

I have a quiet day today. We've done all the big family stuff over the two previous days and are just enjoying a quiet holiday for a change. So I decided to post this one. Like Heather with 300 Rains, I have a lot of chapters already written so thought I'd give this one to all of you today. Oh, thank you all who have commented or PM'd me about this story. Believe it or not I actually do take things that some of you say to put in my stories. Merry Christmas, or Happy Holiday to all of you out there.

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“Fanatic Neutrals.” Kevin actually laughed aloud at that one and the other two joined him for a few moments.

“Neutrals, by definition, are not fanatics, dear lady.” Kae’song finally told me as the puzzled and slightly alarmed look I knew was on my face began to fade. I knew it was because Sam’s face showed the same things I was feeling.

“Fanatics believe so strongly in one thing, one direction,” Alis added with a grin, an actual grin (!), “they fail to see other paths that could be just as useful as the one they have chosen.”

“Yes, we brought you and your — husband — to this world for a reason, Lady Dahlia.” Kevin continued this weird three way explanation. “But not to aim you at one specific thing like a weapon.”

“You guys are nuts, insane if you didn’t get the idea the first time.” I glowered at them.

“We watched both of you, backtracking from your ‘deaths’ on your own world to see what kind of beings you really were, because we could feel, taste, the outrage both of you felt over the way you died there. Not outrage that you died, but that anyone would be subjected to such a thing because of mere greed.” Kae’song ignored my comment, not all that unusual for him, and started explaining again. Honestly, at times I think mages of any kind are just hyped up college professors with something extra. Most of them just love explaining things to people who are willing to listen. “We knew you two were the ones we needed, is all. So we arranged to bring you here when the time came for your souls to migrate.”

“Okay,” I glanced to Sam who appeared to be as full of understanding about that as I was, which between the two of us would have been hard pressed to fill a one ounce shot glass so far, “We have the ‘how it was done’ mostly. So now the real kicker comes up. Why?”

“Your race, lady, the new one you’ve joined,” Alis answered softly, “is dying out, being wiped out of existence faster than they can reproduce.”

“Again with the getting pregnant thing.” I grumbled.

“Not at all, lady.” Kevin told me. “That event is entirely up to you and your husband. No we brought you here to save your new race, to give them a new direction that would stop every other race who encounters them from killing them on sight.”

“What?” I think Sam and I said that at the same time.

“You three are insane.” I shook my head. “I know, just from being what I am, what you made me, I KNOW that the Dhro’aaa delight in causing harm to others. And you expect me and Sam to change them into some force for good?”

“Of course not.” Alis snorted and shook her head. “Evil exists for a reason, just as good does. What we hope you might do is to temper some of the excesses that have led to the Dhro’aaa decline.”

“And just HOW in however many Hells this world has?” I almost shouted. “Do you think we could manage to do that?”

“We have suggestions, lady.” Kevin answered once he got over flinching at my show of anger. “But ultimately that would be up to the two of you.”

“More wine, please.” I held out my cup and gestured with my chin for the servant — who had retreated as far as she could at my show of anger — to get me a refill. I gave her a weary look and just waved her over. “Girl, I’m not going to hurt you, unless you don’t get me and my consort some wine soon, I promise you.”

Why was it that every time I got even a little angry, people tried to make themselves scarce, or as invisible as they could? That was something I’d need to give some thought to since it seemed to be more than simple fear of what I could do physically. But that was something I wasn’t going to get into just then.

Once our cups were refilled I gave the still shaking girl what I hoped was a reassuring smile and returned my attention to the three authors of Sam and my present difficulties. “That doesn’t answer my question, Lord Kevin.”

“You have both been given the best training in your skills that we could manage, lady.” Kevin answered slowly. “Though you have resolutely ignored the one thing about yourself that would be the most powerful of the abilities you possess. It may be that you don’t yet realize what that is, or that it is even there. We have hesitated to force that issue with you.”

“Oh?” I definitely wasn’t liking where that one was leading my already gob-smacked thoughts, but typically just couldn’t leave something alone if it was there for me to find.

“It is a very personal thing, lady.” Alis softly answered. “Finding and communing with your god, or goddess.”

God, Goddess? Okay that one did it. I drained my cup waved it in the air for more and tried my befuddled best to digest what she’d just said. “What? Are you trying to tell me I’m some kind of evil priestess or something?”

“Something like that.” Kae’song agreed. “The potential is in you, you have the presence, give off the sense of unseen power, so yes the potential is in you, lady. Your people’s goddess is interested in you even now. But what you become doesn’t have to be entirely evil.”

“Okay, end of interview.” I stood up and stared at the maniacs for a minute. “I may decide to kill all three of you tomorrow, but right now, just arrange for a nice keg of wine for me, ale for Sam, and enough food to keep us going for awhile to be delivered to our rooms. Until we come out, please don’t disturb us. That could get kind of messy, if you know what I mean.”

“Of course, Dahlia.” Kae’song nodded. “Take all the time that you need.”

“What I need is to get shitfaced and forget about all of this insanity.” I threw back with venom in my voice I wasn’t used to hearing or feeling. “But what I’m going to do is go sit with my husband and try to think this mess through.”

As I stormed out, with Sam close behind I heard Alis say, “Well, look at it this way, gentlemen. No one even tried telling us that this was going to be easy.”

I could have sworn I caught a hint of admiration in her voice as she told them that.

I know I scared people in the halls as we headed for our chambers. I didn’t mean to do that, really. But I just couldn’t help glowering and growling at anyone we encountered. Needless to say, the people wasted no time getting out of our way. Part of me was ashamed about that. But another part, the part that really worried me just then, enjoyed it.

Yeah, I really needed some down time to work some things out.

Okay some down time to spend with Sam, too. I wasn’t all that familiar with this girl thing yet, and was kind of hoping getting a little would settle me down regarding other subjects.

Hey! I know I was guy not long ago. But I have needs too, you know.

And they said I had a goddess who was interested in me?

Uh oh.

---

 

We made it to our chambers without any major disasters. I accidentally set fire to one little tapestry, but beat out the flames before they did much damage. Oops. Hope it wasn't something really valuable.

Once back in the familiar confines of our chambers, I stormed over to where we had a carafe of wine and goblets and poured two very generous cups then handed one to Sam. “Well that was kind of FUBARed wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Sam accepted the cup and took a long pull of the wine then grimaced. “That ale better get here really fast.”

“Slow down, love.” I patted his cheek and sighed. “We need to talk, and think about things. I won’t keep you from emptying that keg when it gets here, because I plan on doing the same with the wine they bring. But we need to think about things right now before we do that.”

“You really are female, ya know that?” He looked at me and shook his head. “Muh girlfriends always said that to me.”

“Just how many cups of that ale did you have back there?” I questioned.

“Who was counting?” He answered and shrugged. “We’re dead, we’re reborn, we — or you, at least — have a goddess personally interested in you, we’re supposed to save a race that no one else on this world wants to survive, and we’re dead back home.”

“You mentioned that last one already.” I nodded then sighed. “But, yeah, that just about covers things I’m worrying about at the moment.”

He nodded and reached for the cup again, but I interrupted that by gently taking his wrist. “Wait on that, come on, there’s something I really need for you to do right now.”

“What would that be?”

“What do you think?” I purred while moving my hand from his upper cheek to one of his lower ones.

“Thought you weren’t ready for all that stuff.” He told me while looking right into my eyes. “I know that first time was kind of an accident.”

“Sam.” I patiently told him. “I’m female, you’re male. I always liked you, loved you like a brother. Well now I can love you another way and I want to show you, without it just kind of accidentally happening before we hit that point where we’re too out of it to really admit what happened is real.”

“Okay.” He answered with a little smile. “You sure?”

“I was sure last time, Sam.” I grinned. “Just had trouble admitting it to myself let alone to you. Now I know what I need, what I want. Are you ready for that?”

“Are you getting to that ‘commitment’ thing, here?” He narrowed his eyes and questioned.

“You big dummy.” I laughed. “You already made that commitment. You’ve already shown me that you have done that. It’s my turn to show you I am.”

“I’ve died — literally — and gone to heaven.” He grinned. “About time, Dahlia.”

“Shut up and let’s get down to it.” I softly told him.

We did, oh we did.

Did it help with everything else? Nope. But it did help with other things.

Maybe that having little Dhro’aaa thing wouldn’t be such a bad idea, if getting them always felt this gooood…

Post coital bliss. Let me tell you, if it does what it did to me that time, I may go back to being celibate.

“Well, daughter.” The slightly chill, very feminine and amused voice was the first hint that something else had gone wonky in my weirded out life. “It is time and past time that you came to me.”

“Huh?” I answered with my usual aplomb and sat up to discover that I wasn’t in bed with Sam any longer. Or even in our bedroom. Oh, this couldn’t be good.

“Open your eyes, Dahlia.” Whoever or whatever as speaking ordered, and much to my intense discomfort, I did that.

Bad idea, really bad idea. I’m just glad that I’d never been afraid of spiders.

Oh, not her, just the décor. And her — pets.

The woman in front of me was so beautiful it actually hurt to look at her for a while. Tall, slender, but most definitely female, with a finely formed face, and large, almond shaped emerald eyes so bright they almost glowed in the dim surroundings. Almost? Who am I kidding. They did glow.

She also radiated power, and evil. The first frightened me, the second just was and I could accept that and get on with things no matter how weird that sounds. She was wearing an outfit similar to what I had when serving as Kae’song’s handmaiden but her clothing was disturbingly alive. It clung to her, caressed her and actually appeared to be trying to give her pleasure beyond what a beautiful woman normally got out of beautiful clothing.

She also wore a delicate crown, with an oval that had eight bent legs radiating from it in the center of her forehead. The decorations in the chamber all had that general theme, and I will not, absolutely will NOT describe what she was languidly petting as she watched me.

Worse, she looked a lot like me. Or I looked like her, which was probably more the truth since I just knew she’d been around a whole lot longer than I had.

Oh, her pet, if you can call it that, was a spider, about the size of a German Shepherd. Black, mottled with virulent looking green spots and it was watching me with a hungry expression from all eight of its eyes. I looked, wished I hadn’t and almost begged. “Please let this just be a bad dream, please.”

“If you chose to call it that, then that is what it will be, daughter. They did well in your making, dear one.” She told me with a smile that should have sent chills of terror trampling through my nerve endings and poor overloaded brain. “You do know who I am?”

“Yes.” I managed to choke out.

“What is my name, child?” She asked and I had no choice but answer.

“Llolth.”

“Good.” The goddess that Dhro’aaa worshiped nodded then gestured for me to move forward. “Now come to me daughter. I would touch my image in the flesh of the world.”

I did. There was nothing else I could do. Come on, here. If you had some incredibly beautiful, charismatic, dangerous goddess commanding you to do that, could you resist it? Would you even try?

And she hugged me. HUGGED me. “You are a new thing in the world, my beloved daughter, and one who has a task.”

“Daughter?” I questioned and was shaking my head no at the same time. “By that you mean priestess or follower?”

“If you choose to believe that at the moment.” She answered then narrowed her eyes and tapped the side of the throne she was seated on. “My priestesses commune as they will in whatever way they are comfortable with. Now, back to where we were. You have a task set for you, is that not true?”

“To —to save the race.” I answered hesitantly.

“Yes, dear one, yes.” She didn’t move but I could feel a connection growing into me from her. “You must save my, our, people.”

“How?”

“That is for you to do, daughter not me.” She softly answered but there was threat, chill, and an evil so deep I didn’t want to plumb those depths in that. “You will have to change things, Dahlia, my beloved. Many things. Our people will resist, but if they don’t follow they will die.”

“I — I’m not even one of them. Not really.” I tried to protest.

“Yes you are my daughter.” She countered. “True, you weren’t until recently, and are still having difficulties with your change. But is it so bad being female and loved by a strong male?”

“Nuh, no.”

“Your differences will be strengths to use.” She told me. “You are my chosen, my foremost priestess, Lady Dahlia Saaa Llolth. Save our people. Change what you must, even gods must adapt when circumstances dictate and I will do so when the time comes. I will abide by your choices unless they are too extreme for our people to survive.”

“Saa Llolth?” I squeaked out.

“Yes, daughter.” She answered with a rather nasty smile. “You were made in my chosen image. I gave of myself to help create you. You are of my clan, my family, my own. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, daughter. Now go. You have much to do. I will be watching.”

“Uh, would you be offended if I turned down the help?” I’d almost said ‘Mother! I’d rather do it myself!’ Luckily I bit my tongue before that one got loose.

She was amused and gently patted my cheek. Not with the hand she’d been petting that — that whatever it was with, thank goodness. Somehow I didn’t think throwing up on her would have been at all amusing for either one of us. “Ahh, I do love an independent, unpredictable child, Dahlia. You will have my help when you need it, just ask.”

“I guess that’s a not going to happen on the refuse thing, then?” I wanted to bite my tongue once I said that one.

“Correct, daughter and do call me Mother.” The goddess moved her hand to my forehead and I felt a jolt that nearly sat me on my padded rear, and my head swam for a few moments. “There, the part of your education that has been neglected has been taken care of. Go now, beloved daughter. We will see each other again.”

Like I said before. Oh, this couldn’t be good.

Not good at all.

“Ahhh, Gah!!” I sat straight up and shook myself, dislodging Sam’s arm that had been across my stomach when I did. “Now that was a nightmare.”

“Uh, what happened to you Dahlia?” Sam questioned while giving me a looking over that had nothing at all to do what we’d been up to earlier.

“I met our goddess.” I answered weakly.

“Our goddess?”

“Yes, our patron, the patron of the entire Dhro’aaa race.” I slowly answered and shivered. “She told me, ordered me, to save ‘our’ people no matter what I had to do.”

“Well, for what it's worth, I don’t think it was a dream and she made sure you won’t forget that.” Sam answered slowly.

“What’s that mean?”

“Look.” He pointed at the floor length mirror in our bed chamber and I did. Silly me.

There were legs, not real ones, just kind of tattoos wrapped around my torso, from thighs up to my breasts. You could even see individual hairs on them, like a spider’s legs and yes, they had all the little hooks, claws and whatever. And no I am NOT going to tell you where that second lowest set of legs were.

Worse, once we got another mirror so I could see it, my back bore the rest of her mark. Once I saw that I managed to breath out a disbelieving. “Oh, crap.”

The rest of the spider filled my back from shoulder blades to the swell of my buttocks. And its red eyes, all eight of them, seemed almost alive. And it looked exactly like the thing SHE had been petting in my dream. Yeah, Dahlia, keep calling it a dream. Sometimes denial is a healthy thing.

Riiight.

“Oh, this sooo not a good thing.” I closed my eyes to keep from looking at the thing.

But I could feel its presence on, no — in, my flesh. I’d been personally marked by a goddess. An evil one. No, this wasn’t going to be fun at all.

“What did you say to her?” Sam questioned as we worked our way through the casks of wine and ale that had been delivered while I’d been visiting (is that the right word?) goddess.

“Mostly things like ‘Guh! Uhhh! Ack!’ and ‘I must be dreaming’ she insisted I call her Mother, too, I think though she never really said that.” I answered with a grimace. “And let’s not forget the all time favorite. ‘Oh gawd, oh gawd, oh gawd…’ while we’re at it.” I morosely told him while thinking this wine was either really weak or that I was just too messed up otherwise for it to have much effect on me.

“You called her Mother?” Sam gave me a strange look.

“Not out loud, but well, she wouldn’t let me say ‘hey you, or yes, ma’am.” I shot back. “She kind of insisted on the Mother thing and trust me you don’t want to go against what SHE wants. Though the idea of emancipation doesn’t seem like a bad idea just now even if She wouldn’t let me get away with it.”

“Point taken.” He nodded and shrugged. “So now what?”

“No idea.” I let out a long sigh. “I guess we go save the — our — people. Somehow.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that.”

“Fine, you go talk to her next time.” I grumbled.

“I already have.” He gave a little shiver and showed me his shoulder. It bore a mark identical to the one that was all over me, only smaller. “Evidently SHE has no problem at all with multitasking. She told — no commanded me to take care of you and make sure you didn’t come to harm if I could prevent it. I ended up calling her Mother too, if that helps any.”

And some guys complain about the mother-in-laws they have.” I chuckled.

“Yeah.” Sam actually managed to laugh and pulled me into a hug to his side. “But I can top them all because mine really is an evil witch, among other things.”

“You mean she told you that I am her daughter, really? Not as in figuratively as in a follower or priestess?”

“Oh, she was real clear on that one.” Sam nodded and shuddered. “She told me like this. ‘That girl is blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh that I gave when she was formed. See that no harm comes to her that you can prevent.’ The or else part was just implied but I got it loud and clear.”

“This just gets better and better, doesn’t it?” I moaned while pushing further into his side.

“You’ve been known to understate things before, love.” He told me. “But even I have to tell you that one was a whopper of epic proportions.”

“Tell me about it.” I whispered while doing my best to ignore the blood, flesh, and forming thing.

It didn’t work.

---

 

“Are you sure you want to wear that?” Sam questioned when I emerged from our bed chamber with my maids.

I looked at my reflection in the mirrored surfaces of the stone that made up the walls of our home, and nodded. I was wearing a backless gown that barely covered my front. So almost all the supernatural tattoo I had showed. It was also a delicious ice blue silk that felt wonderful whenever I moved.

“Yes, Sam.” I answered after admiring myself for a few seconds. Okay, okay. I was vain now. Give me a break here. I went from an average guy to being a wet dream come to life and was just getting used to the idea. I call it immersion therapy. “They colluded in my making, and yours. They should know what they got out of it.”

I didn’t mention that the tattoo didn’t like being covered up. That was just too weird.

“Okay.” He shrugged and grinned. “Just don’t kill any innocent guardsmen or servants for salivating when they see you like this.”

I shrugged, causing things I hadn’t had so long ago to move in very delightful ways, though I wasn’t about to admit that one out loud. “I am what I am, Sam. Would you have me hide that from normal sight when the ones we’re going to see would see it anyway?”

“Good point.” He nodded while enjoying the view of my barely clad body in front of him. The skirt did reach my ankles and was a bit more substantial than those loin cloth things I’d been forced to wear earlier. But where they had been opaque, what I was wearing now was almost translucent. So I’m a show off, sue me. I was beautiful, sexy, knew it no matter how much I would have once protested or wished otherwise, so it just made sense to work with the assets I’d been given. “You are freaking gorgeous.”

“And I’m all yours, darling.” I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck while pulling myself up to give him a long, sensual kiss. When he recovered from that I smiled and gestured to the door. “Shall we go?”

“If we don’t do that now,” he shuddered, “we might not make it at all.”

“That’s my man.” I grinned and let him lead me out of our chambers.

Now that was interesting. Instead of running, people were walking into walls, falling down stairs, and other stuff that had to hurt while we walked to the meeting chamber. Not just guys looking at me, either. Sam was having that effect on the girls. Wow.

And he was MINE. By now I didn’t even wonder why that made me all tingly in places Dylan had never imagined having.

“Welcome, Lady Dahlia Saa Llolth.” Kevin greeted us as we entered the room. Alis and Kae’song echoed that then added. “And to you Lord Samthien the Defender.”

“Cut the crap.” I told them while seating myself and waiting for Sam to sit down. “Please don’t remind me about that just now.”

Once they got situated, which included Kevin and Kae’song pulling their tongues in, I pleasantly started the conversation. “So I take it you heard? News travels fast around here. Did SHE put you three up to all this?”

“SHE suggested that we find two souls ready to migrate.” Alis nodded and couldn’t help but stare at Sam. I felt a tiny twinge of jealousy there, but shoved that back to join all the other things that were clamoring to drive me insane at the moment. “And that SHE would provide the essence to form the beings needed.”

“Why?” I questioned bluntly. “Why did you go along with a goddess who is demonstrably evil?”

“Even gods change with time and need.” Kae’song shrugged. “The goddess of Dance was once the god of War. And there is an imbalance that must be addressed, lady.”

“So you’ve been telling me since I got here.” I nodded, trying not to be boggled at the idea of a really buff tough guy becoming a svelte, graceful female dancer. “And just what, exactly, is it that you three expect me to do now that I’m here?”

“Your Mother has surely told you that.” Alis answered.

“My mother lives in Kansas.” I shot back. “Not in some spider infested cavern.”

“The mother of your present body does reside in that cavern, lady” “Kevin calmly told me. “Nothing any of us could do will change that.”

“Yeah, like I said already, don’t remind me about that just now.” I waved that aside. “Back to my original question here, if you don’t mind?”

“Think of it this way, lady.” Kae’song answered. “If there is always light, it will burn everything alive. If there is always dark, nothing will grow. It is the play between the two that allows life to exist at all. If one side becomes ascendant, then life itself will suffer and might die. We only wish to prevent that from happening. If your race dies out, the balance will shift drastically and that could well be catastrophic for the entire world. We answered the goddess’ call because of that. And so you and your consort were made.”

I looked at all three of them for a few seconds. And knew he was telling the truth with more certainty than I’d ever had about anything before in my life.

“You have started to exercise your goddess given powers, I see.” Alis gave me an approving smile. “You can detect even the smallest lie if someone tries it with you.”

She was right. I could see, feel, and literally knew that all three of them were on the level about what I’d just been told. As an afterthought, I wondered why they had frightened me so badly when I first met them. Oh no, not going there, not accepting what ‘Momma’ had given me, I was my own person and would deal with things as myself. Not as some avatar or representation of some goddess I didn’t even particularly like even if she did claim to be my literal Mother in this world.

“Mother and I are barely on speaking terms.” I told them all. “Leave HER out of this and let’s focus on just what, exactly, Sam and I need to do here, okay?”

“You have to go out into the world and show people that your race isn’t one that should be killed on sight.” Kevin answered.

“While finding those of your kind you can and convincing them to give up some of their ‘excesses’.” Kae’song added.

“While gathering allies who are not of your people.” Alis finished.

“You guys got a manual for this ‘world changing’ stuff?” I grumbled.

“I’m sure you’ll be able to work things out as you go, lady.” Kae’song answered. Just then I really did wish I was on better terms with ‘Mom’. I’d have had her send several of her scarier minions to eat him alive.

“Thanks for your confidence.” I answered then sighed. “Now all I need to do is figure out just how in the NINE HELLS I’m going to manage to do that!”

They didn’t have an answer for that one. Dammit.

This was evidently my show, my choreography, or whatever. Yeah.

You know? Sometimes being perceived as evil isn’t all that bad. I could kill someone just now and people would just shrug and say things like, “It’s in her nature.”

Grrrrrr.

“What are we doing out here again, Dahlia?’ Sam questioned as we both tried to stare down the fifteen or so really nasty looking guys who were, incidentally, armed to the teeth and seemed determined to show us just how good they were with those weapons.

“I think, Kae’song said something about winning the populace’s good will.” I shrugged. “Political crap, you know the drill on that stuff. If you really believe that, you’re either a Saint, inhumanly committed to doing good, deluded, or a damned fool.”

“So which category do we fit into?” He questioned while carefully loosening the blades slung over his back with a casual looking shrug.

“Damned if I know.” I shrugged in my turn and my ‘tattoo’ moved in response. Okay, that’s too weird for just now, I thought. “I’m pretty sure the saint thing is out, and really hope the ‘damned fool’ thing is too.”

“So now what?’ He questioned as the nasty guys started closing in.

“I guess we start ‘winning the hearts of the people’ I grimaced and with an almost negligent wave of one hand put out the fires those other guys had set in the large farmstead we had found them raiding while trying to wave the farmers and their families into whatever shelter they could find with my other one. “This is going to get kind of messy, I think.”

“Again with the understatement.” Sam grumbled and with a motion too fast to follow without special equipment, had both his swords out and at the ready.

“Nice move.” I complimented him then turned my attention back to the band of brigands with a shake of my head and a little, unpleasant smile. “You know, you guys could just turn around and run now.”

“No, they can’t.” Another voice, a feminine voice, interrupted that potential happy circumstance as a cloaked female form stepped out of the shadows to look at me. She threw her hood back to reveal snowy white hair and vivid blue eyes set in a delicate face that was black as coal. Oh boy, my first time out and I just had to run into another Dhro’aaa female. “These Humans answer to me, not you.”

“Then call them off and let’s talk.” I suggested and she did so with a slight flick of a hand while still watching me carefully.

“What do these worthless humans matter to you?” She questioned and made the race name sound like something dirty and useless with a slow smile that was not at all nice to look at. “More importantly, why do you interrupt my sport?”

“They matter.” I told her with a shrug. “And slaughter isn’t something I’ve ever considered a sport.”

She looked at me carefully, and by looking at her I could see, somehow, that her caste was lower, much lower, than my own. Then she asked almost curiously, “How is it that you are alive, bitch? High Caste renegades are usually killed immediately.”

“Friends in low places?” I answered without saying anything else. This one had power, yes, but nothing compared to what I could call if I needed it. Did I call on that? Come on, I was still getting used the ‘daughter’ thing and still wanted nothing to do with ‘Mommy’ just then.

“No matter.” She shrugged. “But returning your dead body should get me a substantial reward, possibly even the restoration of my own status.”

“Well, from one outcast to another,” I told her while working for time so the farmers could at least be mostly out of the way, “I think that’s kind of a pissy attitude to have.”

She paused at the unfamiliar expression, and I gave Sam a quick look as she did. “You’re going to have to handle the guys for a while here. Think I may be a little busy with her.”

“You do that.” He nodded without taking his eyes from the men who were still around us in a threatening ring. “I’ll do what I can until you finish.”

“Fool of a youngling!” The other female in the area gloated. “I was and still am a priestess of our goddess even if our people cast me out. I will feed your soul to HER this night.”

Okay about then I’m supposed to get this ‘god-like’ glow and overawe her, right? Think again. But I did know she was one who depended on her magic and wasn’t all that conversant with other ways to hurt people…

I did a quick dodge and roll to avoid the blast she had aimed at me while hearing the clangs, dings, thunks and general swearing under the breath that men fighting always seem to do. After that a quick swing from a convenient awning and one of my daggers was already drawing a bead of blood from her throat while my arm held her in a grip I was surprised I had strength to hold. “What is your name lost one? My Mother would like to know who I’m sending to her tonight.”

“I won’t give you that, bitch!” She screamed and kicked back to hit one of my shins with a booted heel. Okay that one hurt, a lot, but I didn’t relax my grip.

“Suit yourself.” I shrugged and rammed the dagger home into her jugular and held her until I was sure she was too weak to do anything else. “Pathetic. Mother will eat your soul and still be wanting more when SHE is finished with you, tell her I said hello once you get there.”

I dropped the now lifeless body and decided I’d better wait a bit before being sick. Sam was handling the opposition, but come on, no matter how fast, or how deadly someone is, fifteen to one odds are not a good thing. Though by the time I managed to look the odds were down to more like nine to one. I had the inane thought, That’s my man! And felt a surge of pride for him before taking out three of them with throwing knives, then another from behind with a really nasty and unfair kidney strike.

Hey, you want a fair fight stay on the playground with referees around.

I hadn’t seen a guy in a striped shirt with a whistle, had you?

By then, Sam had finished off the other five and didn’t even seem to be winded. Oh he was bleeding in a few places but I could tell it was nothing serious.

He glanced at the bodies and shrugged. “Amateurs.”

“You’re really kind of scary, you know that?” I told him while healing the minor injuries he’d sustained.

“Uh, me?” He looked at the body of the Dhro’aaa female, now withered and looking like a thousand year old mummy, and shook his head. “When we get home, look in a mirror.”

“Not sure I really want to do that.” I told him seriously then turned my attention to our surroundings and raised my voice. “Okay, the danger has passed though I know none of you will believe that right now. We’ll be leaving because we know you are afraid of us. I can’t blame you for that at all. But if you are threatened again in this place, my name is Dahlia. Call and I will come.”

Okaaay. Just WHERE had that one come from?

---

 

“That was well done, Lady Dahlia.” Kevin told me once Sam and I had gotten back, cleaned up, enjoyed a few gymnastic exercises then had to clean up again before returning to the meeting room.

“And just how do you figure that?” I questioned shortly. “We killed, KILLED, sixteen people out there, and the farmers wouldn’t come out until we left.”

“Give it time, dear.” Alis answered with a little smile. “You and your consort eliminated one group of raiders who had been terrorizing the area for months. And before you protest again, the ones you killed had been torturing, burning, raping, even with children, for months. The “Dhro’aaa female, Kysstn, that you killed was bad enough that even her, your, own people cast her out.

“Granted, they probably wouldn’t have done that had she not committed her excesses on others of the race, but regardless. You two removed a rather large and annoying evil from the board.” She went on.

“And those farmers will remember you, Dahlia.” Kae’song took up the gauntlet of the conversation with an ease that had me almost wanting to hurt the oily bastard. “And they will tell others. That in itself is a good start.”

“I’m going to go take a bath.” I informed them all. “Then I’m going to get some sleep. Maybe all this crap will start making sense in the morning.”

But I kind of doubted that, other than the fact that Sam and I HAD done a good thing back there. Something in my nature kicked at that idea, but I was getting really good at ignoring things like that by then.

“Daughter.” A familiar, very powerful voice intruded on the peaceful sleep I had managed to get to after a nice hot, scented bath and lots of good smelling powder.

“Oh, great.” I complained. “I can’t even get a decent night’s sleep.”

“Do try to avoid killing my priestesses.” Llolth told me then grinned. Yeah, the horrible, evil, nasty goddess GRINNED. “Although the way you sent my latest little snack was quite entertaining.”

“Glad you liked it. Are we done yet?” I asked. “I really do need to have a good night’s sleep here. The past weeks have been kind of wearing. I hope you understand.”

“Of course, daughter.” Llolth nodded and actually reached out and stroked my forehead. At least she didn’t lean over and kiss me. “Just be careful in what you do. There are things that even my daughter won’t get away with.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind.” I told her and yawned. Go figure. If you’re tired, really tired, even dreaming that you’re talking with one of the most dreaded goddesses in creation wouldn’t faze you, or at least it didn’t faze me. I was too tired to care. “Nite Mama.”

“Not yet, dear one.” She interrupted a really good ‘yawn, go to sleep’ move.

“Mama, I’m sleepy!” I complained.

“I’ve given you a protector, dear child.”

Okay, I was awake again, dammit and wasn’t all that happy with my really intelligent response to that revelation. “Huh?

“I gave you SSirrinthsss to be your guardian.” She told me with what I would have sworn was a smug look if she hadn’t been a goddess. “She will defend you even when you refuse to use the powers I have given you.”

Okay, this was creepy. I felt, actually FELT, the legs showing on my front side tighten a bit in what had to be a hug, and the thing on my back moved and tried to squirm closer if that was possible.

“She will obey your commands, daughter.” Llolth told me as if she was giving me a phone number to reach her if I couldn’t unlock the front door. “Unless you won’t do what is needed to survive.”

Worse? Ssirrinthsss the spider tattoo sent me assurances that she would defend me to the death.

Oh, wonderful.

Now I had an animated, living spider on my back that was also hugging me lovingly.

NITE MAMMA!!! Nope, not going there just now. Je Refuse, Non Importante, Nyet, No way...

“Sleep well, little one.” She answered before I could get even more outraged.

And I did. Sleep, I mean.

Hugged lovingly by eight legs that I still didn’t want to acknowledge.

But the hug wouldn’t go away, and you know? It actually felt kind of nice.

When I woke up I still remembered that one.

But you know? I felt more rested than I ever had since I’d come too in that damned cell.

Dammit Mama! I don’t NEED your help here!

Okay, I had reached the stage where I wasn’t disputing the fact that Llolth was Mommy for me.

I’ll let you go figure that one out.

But, dammit, I really did feel good. Better than I’d felt since I got pulled into this world.

Given what I’d done the other night that kind of bothered me.

“Return here at your peril.” I told the band of scraggly bandits I’d interrupted in their looting of a local village. “Go now and I will forget this. Return and I WILL hurt you.”

Some of them ran, but a few looked at me and fell on their faces. That had to hurt.

“Get up.” I told, commanded, them. I was learning really fast that even an idle wish could be taken as an order that someone just HAD to obey so was being really careful with things like that.

Why are you still here?” I questioned while looking over the bandits who either hadn’t had the nerve to run, or who were attracted to Moi. Sheesh, at times being this really sexy, inviting babe had its drawbacks.

“We will serve you, Lady.” One of them told me just before he bruised his forehead on the ground again.

“Is that so?” I asked then felt bad for the guys. “Okay, stop banging your heads on the ground, for starters. That has to hurt.”

Their leader gave me a look that plainly said he wasn’t getting it.

“Look.” I told him. “If I really wanted you guys to be hurt, I could do that without the help.

“What I need here is people who will do what needs to be done when I ask it.”

“You will have it, great lady.” He answered then started that banging his head on the ground thing again.

“Stop that!” I almost yelled. “Watching you guys do that gives me a headache. From now on, no banging heads on the ground when I just happen to show up, or at other times either. Got it?”

“Yes. Lady.” The guy answered, obviously out of his depth with a Dhro’aaa who didn’t want to be bowed and scraped to. Okay, he would have been out of his depth, anyway and that was still something I was trying really hard to get across to them. And myself.

“look.” I told him. “Take your people over there, sit on the benches and wait. I’ll come and fix the worst damage you did to yourselves in a minute. But just go over there, SIT, and DON’T do anything else, okay?

“You don’t seem like an evil goddess.” The guy pointed out and was watching me for a response.

“I can’t help who my mother is.” I grumbled then gave him one of those ‘girl’ looks reserved for idiots who just had a chance of redemption and blown it in a girl’s eyes. “Now get your butt over there and make sure your people do it too.”

Wonder of wonders. The guy did it.

“Well look at it this way.” Sam looked at the scraggly bunch and shrugged. “Now you seem to have some followers.”

“You aren’t helping things here.” I grumbled while giving the men a quick look. “I don’t think those idiots could fight their way out a wet paper bag if they were given a sharp knife to do it with.”

“Neither could we when we first got here, love.” He pointed out. “Maybe they’re trainable, you never know until you try.”

“Okay, okay.” I gave up on that one and gave the five men a close looking over. They all flinched when I did that and I just shook my head. “If you lot are going to serve me you need to stop the scared rabbit thing every time I look at you. I don’t have the time or patience for that kind of thing.

One of the villagers, a girl actually had timidly left the shelter of the ramshackle building she had run into when the bandits arrived closely followed by me and Sam. I smiled at her and asked. “Do you have any soap?”

“Soap, m’lady?” She questioned nervously, obviously ready to bolt again at the flutter of a feather on the breeze, but to give her credit, she did stay where she was while giving me puzzled looks.

“Yes, soap.” I answered then added. “And clean clothes that would fit those over there. I tossed her a couple of copper pieces because I knew she wouldn’t let me get close enough to hand them to her. “Go get the soap, please.”

The girl scurried away but returned with the requested soap while hesitantly telling me. “It will be a while for the clothing, Lady. No one else wants to venture out right now.”

“I understand.” I told her while taking the soap and tossing it to the former brigands.

The one who had first addressed me caught it and gave me a confused look.

“First things first.” I told him while gesturing to a pond some distance away. “Bathe.”

“Lady?” He questioned.

“You heard me.” I told him and tilted my head towards the pond. “Bathe. If you guys are going to serve me you’re going to at least be clean enough that having you around doesn’t clog my nostrils, got it? Now go take a bath. All of you.”

Some of them looked at the pond, the soap, then me as if they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. Another looked longingly at the horizon then shrugged and got up to move towards the pond. Eventually all of them were nude and scrubbing at themselves industriously.

“I know they stank.” Sam told me while watching this with confusion on his face too. “But you have something other than getting rid of the smell in mind here, don’t you?”

“Well, yeah.” I answered. “I’m just making this up as I go but a good cleansing is as much symbolic as practical here.”

“What?” He gave me an odd look. “You aren’t going to tell them that they’ve just washed their sins away or something, are you?”

I gave him that famous River Tam look then shook my head. “Give me a break here, Sam. No. What I’m doing is getting them clean enough to be presentable to Kae’song and the others. Not to mention that the smell did kind of offend me.”

Okay, so I’ve gotten fastidious lately. Sue me.

“As for the washing the sins away,” I shrugged, “Is it my fault if they just happen to believe that crap?”

He started laughing about then.

I sighed and looked back at the five in the pond. “Keep scrubbing!”

I felt a light tug at my cloak and turned to look down at the girl who had supplied the soap. She looked a little frightened, but not terrified. “Lady, the others want to know if it is safe to come out and thank you.”

She was pretty, and couldn’t be much more than twelve years old. Also, it was obvious that she was the ‘designated sacrifice’ if I wasn’t in the mood to be nice. That gave me a pang that actually hurt then I felt a little anger that grown people would put a child in such a position. But she had been the first and only villager yet to even approach me in the past weeks when Sam and I had been doing our patrols of the area. And truth be told, at twelve in this kind of life, she probably was far from being a child at all.

“Sure.” I told her and gave her a smile. At her look of incomprehension, I rephrased my answer. “Yes, it’s safe. Sam and I won’t harm any of you if you offer us none. Your people are safe from us.”

She accepted that with a little smile and lifting her skirts scampered back into the building she’d been hiding in. A few minutes later she reemerged in the company of an older couple and other young ones.

“Lady,” She curtsied, and looked up at me. “I am Lila, and these are my parents, brothers and sisters. She rattled off names that I filed away for later but at the time they all just kind of went in and seemed to hide, if you know what I mean.

I greeted Lila’s family politely, and other villagers began trickling out by twos and threes. It wasn’t exactly the old welcome wagon, but at least they weren’t running in terror at the sight of me and Sam, which was different.

I looked at all of them, and they were still timid with fear even if they were showing themselves. With a little sigh I moved carefully forward to take Lila by the shoulder and looked around. “This girl has shown more courage in the past while than I’ve seen grown men manage. Treasure her, she is worthy of that.

“My name is Dahlia.” I leaned down to whisper in her ear. “If you need my help, use my name. I may not get here right away, but I will come. Just make sure the need is an important one when you do call.”

“I thank you, Lady Dahlia.” She answered solemnly then gave me a look that young children often surprise adults with it was so composed and ‘knowing’. “I won’t call you for small things. I have the feeling that calling you won’t be a small matter at all, will it?”

“No, probably not.” I agreed and gave her a slow smile. “But remember all the same.”

There was something about that girl. She had potential, a lot of it, to be something other than a mere village woman in her future. I made a mental note to keep track of her in the future.

My five newly acquired — what should I call them? Henchmen? Hirelings? Followers? Whatever, they returned from the pond not smelling like walking, breathing cess pools and wearing clean tunics, leggings, and boots. I nodded at them and noted that without all the dirt and other filth, they were younger than I’d thought at first.

“Better.” I told them as they started to retrieve their mismatched and poorly cared for weapons. “Leave all that. If you’re going to be with me, I won’t have you carrying around junk.”

One of them thought about arguing and I stopped him with a look. The others decided it would probably be better to do as I’d said.

“Good.” I tossed one of them several silver pieces. “Give those to the villagers to pay for your new clothes and the damage you and your former friends caused here. And make sure they get all of it. I don’t think they would accept it from me. Then get back here because we all have some things to discuss.”

Sam just stood there and watched the whole thing with a halfway amused expression while resting a hand on the hilt of one of his swords. The one I sent with the silver returned and joined his companions who were nervously watching for what I would do next.

“You didn’t make such great bandits, you know.” I told them and shook my head. “It’s a wonder you hadn’t been caught before now. I’ll tell you the only reason you five aren’t dead along with the others who didn’t run is that I saw you actually trying to protect someone while your companions were committing their mayhem. So you have one chance here to convince me that you shouldn’t just be turned over to the nearest garrison.

“I don’t mean with protestations of loyalty to me, or any of that other bowing and scraping either. I want your oaths that you’ll give up the banditry, I’ll know if you’re lying or even if you have the slightest doubt about that. Fail to convince me and it’s the garrison for you.”

Sam moved forward to give them each a long, hard look and they did their best not to cringe as he did. When he produced a small dagger they almost soiled their fresh clothing. “Your hands.”

The five hesitantly offered their hands and Sam put a small cut on each man’s right hand. I stepped up and whispered. “I don’t need blood for this, Sam.”

“Yes you do.” He answered while stepping a pace back and holding out a plain wooden cup. Each of the five swore their oath to me and let a little of the blood from their wounds drip into the cup. Part of me was going ‘EEEW!’ but I carefully kept that back where it wouldn’t bother anything and well out of sight.

“One at a time.” I ordered them and waited.

“I, Yannis Thorv, swear to you, give my oath by word and blood that I will never again take up banditry. If my oath is broken let my blood flow as it does into this cup.”

The danged stuff actually steamed as it joined the rest in the cup. The other four stumbled through the same oath and the cup was looking like it held bright red heated wine. I nodded, dipped a finger in the stuff and marked each of them on the forehead. Then something compelled me to lift the cup to my mouth and drink. Urk! But what should have been gross to the nth degree wasn’t for some reason. It was a little salty, with the tang of iron, but I didn’t immediately throw up like I expected to do. “I accept your oaths and bond of blood. Now hold still while I heal those cuts and bruises.”

They did, I did, and so I ended up with five guys who though incompetent as bandits did possess useful skills in other things. Yannis was educated and from a family of means that had hit hard times. Ilsu had been a herder, Jance was an ex carpenter, Llew a smith, and Osgol a leather worker.

“All right, let’s go.” I told them and turned to watch the villagers for a moment. “These five are mine now, and my promise is one they will hold to. They won’t trouble you again.”

We set a slow pace since the five new kids were on foot. About halfway back to Kae’song’s citadel we had to stop for the night. Neither Sam or I were inconvenienced but the five humans with us were. I set them building a fire and started sharing out provisions when Yannis sidled up to me and whispered. “Uh, Lady we have company.”

I looked up and sure enough, three cloaked and hooded figures stood silently just outside the reach of our firelight. Ssirinthsss began to stir but I calmed her, still not used to the idea of wearing a living tattoo, and only a little surprised that our visitors had managed to come upon us unawares. One of them was a pretty potent magic user.

“I’d offer to share our fire, and rations.” I told them and shrugged. “But for some reason I think you’d decline both.”

“That is correct stranger.” The one I had pegged as the magic user answered in a melodious voice as she pulled her hood back to reveal a face so much like mine it was unnerving. “Who are you, High Caste and what exactly is your game here?”

Maaan. Just when you think things are starting to look up. I stared at the High Caste Dhro’aaa female who was questioning me and let out a sigh. “Well you see, it’s like this…”

---

 

“I’d offer to share our fire, and rations.” I told them and shrugged. “But for some reason I think you’d decline both.”

“That is correct stranger.” The one I had pegged as the magic user answered in a melodious voice as she pulled her hood back to reveal a face so much like mine it was unnerving. “Who are you, High Caste and what exactly is your game here?”

Maaan. Just when you think things are starting to look up. I stared at the High Caste Dhro’aaa female who was questioning me and let out a sigh. “Well you see, it’s like this…”

“Simply, clearly, and quickly.” She interrupted me with a hissed. “Your name, all of it, your clan, and how it is that they failed to kill you when you went renegade.”

“All right.” I answered and drew in a breath. “I am Dahlia Saaa Llolth…”

I didn’t get any further as she pulled back and almost screeched. “You DARE take the Goddess’ name, renegade?”

“I didn’t TAKE anything, bitch.” I responded and felt Sssirinthsss stirring on my back and didn’t even try to stop her that time. “The name was given to me. I had no choice in it. My clan would probably scare even you to death, and I’m no renegade.”

“You lie!” She had managed to get her temper back under some kind of control, but was still very angry and readying some kind of spell then visibly calmed herself and even gave me an amused look. “Though it is a bold lie, Dahlia Saaa Llolth.

“It is no lie.” I told her evenly then shrugged, which helped my guardian to work free of my tunic. “Trust me, I’d be quite happy with another name, but that is the one I got stuck with.”

“No matter.” She shrugged in her turn while starting to let the spell she had been forming loose to work whatever nasty mayhem it was meant to do. Giving my ‘pet’ more than enough time to both tackle and pin her to the ground.

The two with her were warriors who had drawn their weapons but stopped at a warning look from me, and probably the fact that Sam had moved forward in a ready position with both his swords out. I gave the two Dhro’aaa warriors a thin smile and shook my head. “If you try, she will die in a very unpleasant manner, I think Sssirinthsss likes her food alive, by the way and truthfully, I’m not sure when she was fed last. I really should start keeping track of that a little better. Now move back, put your weapons away and hopefully no one will get hurt any worse than they have already.”

The pair did so, under Sam’s watchful eyes and I moved to where my guardian still had the female pinned to the ground. I looked at her and winced. “That’s kind of nasty burn there. Dire Spiders tend to drip a kind of acid when they’re excited. That plays nine kinds of hell with the floors at home off and on,by the way.”

She just glared up at me without saying a thing. I shook my head again, as if wondering if everyone I ran into this trip was going to be a fool about things. “Now here’s what we’re going to do. You know my name, and that has me at kind of a disadvantage. So I’d really appreciate it if you told me yours. Now.”

She still didn’t answer, and was in fact trying to work another spell.

“Wrong.” I let out a put upon sigh, and stepped on her hand, okay maybe it was little hard the way I stood on it once I had but I wanted to make sure she knew that I knew when she was getting one of those things ready. “Now I’m told that I’m a reasonably patient sort most of the time. But today has been kind of — interesting. As a result, my patience is pretty well used up. Now, tell me your name and give your oath that you won’t try anything else to harm me or my companions during this meeting, please.”

“If I refuse?” She spat back. Well I had to give her points for nerve. Intelligence I was starting to doubt, though.

“Then it’s meal time for Sssirinthss.” I told her as if that was the most obvious thing in the world, which given her position should have been that. “Then I’ll send your henchmen there back to wherever you came from with a message I’d really much rather you delivered. But if you don’t wish to cooperate, that’s all right too, I suppose.”

“Mrrthis Saaa Pthon of Clan Pthon, priestess to our Lady Llolth.” She grated out then grimaced before the rest. “I swear to you on my blood that I and my companions will initiate no more hostile actions during this — meeting.”

“Now was that so hard?” I questioned while silently telling a disappointed Sssirinthss to get off her. Once my guardian had I stood back so Mrrthis could stand up. “Now that our own introductions are out of the way, maybe we can actually talk without screaming at each other and all that threatening. Think you can manage that?”

I got a short nod in return and grinned. “Good, now I’m going to touch you, so don’t get all outraged and panic here.”

I reached forward to touch her cheek and healed the acid burn on it, but pointedly did nothing to her hand even if it did look kind of broken. “That’s to prove that I’m not going to be a completely evil bitch about this. If you behave I’ll even heal that hand. It looks rather painful.”

Sam still hadn’t relaxed, still staring emotionlessly at the other two warriors who were getting the eye from Sssirinthss. The poor thing did look hungry and appeared ready to leap at the slightest provocation. I put a hand on her (she’d grown to the size of large pony for this) and stroked her side. “No, Sirrin, you can’t eat our guests. Go hunt, but nothing intelligent today, all right? All that screaming would get on my nerves just now.”

Mrrthss touched her healed cheek with her good hand then quickly cradled the other one with a wince. “Well you certainly have an undeniable style, I’ll give you that much.”

“Okay, so now will let me tell my side of the story?”

She nodded. I gave her an abbreviated version — leaving out the part about being from another world and starting my life out as a human male. I’d disturbed her sensibilities enough for one day, I thought.

“Either you are a very good liar, are deranged, or as difficult as it is to accept, you are telling the truth.” She told me once she’d digested what I’d told her. “It isn’t uncommon for those of us with as much power as you seem to possess to go insane. Which makes them even more dangerous, by the way. But for now, I will accept that you believe you are telling the truth.”

“It’s a start.” I admitted then grinned.

“You mentioned a message you wished sent to my clan?”

“Yes I did, didn’t I?” Sirrin returned then, appearing reasonably sated, but our three guests were still very nervous in her presence. I motioned to her and she shrank back down and crawled back onto my skin. As she did that I couldn’t help but give a dreamy little smile. “Oh, the message. My apologies, when Sirrin is sated she is such a pleasure to have back.

“Just tell your council I wish a meeting, that’s all. They can choose the place, the time, and I’ll be there. You can send your answer to Kae’song’s citadel.”

“I will pass that message along.” She answered and I noted the slightest widening of her eyes when I had told her where to send the answer. “Though I can tell you they will be more than a trifle skeptical of your claims.”

“Convincing them I want the meeting is your task Mrrthss.” I shrugged. “But how many people do you know of with a full-fledged dire spider on their backs?”

“Not many, she admitted with a little shudder then a chuckle.” “I will deliver your message and you will have peace from my clan until that and your meeting, if it happens, is finished.”

“Good enough for me.” I answered. “Go in peace, Lady Mrrthss saaa Pthoh, neither I or mine will hinder your journey home.”

Then they were gone as quickly as they’d shown up. I hoped she could heal her own hand and winced when I thought about what I’d done to it.

Turning to Sam I lifted an eyebrow and grinned. “Well, I thought that went — fairly well.”

His only answer was a roll of his eyes in response.

The rest of our night passed fairly peacefully. I don’t know what Sirrin had chosen for her meal, but her presence had all the predators afraid to come near our campsite. Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve shortened her name, but she’s my pet I can give her a nickname if I want. Besides, her full name isn’t all that easy to pronounce.

Anyway, we managed to get back to Kae’song’s citadel without any more interruptions.

---

 

Once we returned I left my five — minions(?) with Sam to get them settled into some kind of quarters and went to find Kae’song.

I found him in his own chambers this time, with no guests that I could see but the scent of recent sex and a rustling in the draperies told me that someone was there besides him. “Hello, Kae’song.”

“Lady Dahlia.” He arched an eyebrow and tried not to worry about whoever it was hiding. It would have worked with just about anyone else, I suppose. “I hope you aren’t going to make a habit of barging into my chambers this way?”

“Some simple wards would help.” I answered then looked directly at the drapery. “Come on out, Alis, I know it’s you in there.”

“There are wards in place.” He told me with a sigh as Alis, the Lady Alis Bertold, mage extraordinare stepped out of the hiding place with a resigned look on her beautiful face and wearing the clothing she’d been born in. I looked, but her beauty of face and form that would have had Dylan goggling and drooling only amused me as Kae'song gamely continued. “You blew right through them as if they weren’t there at all.”

“Oh.” I shook my head at that one, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing to happen with me recently so decided to chew on that one later. “Oops.”

“I hope you’ll be discrete about this, Dahlia.” Alis told me and actually blushed when she did.

“Oh, none of my business if one or both of you are getting around spousal obligations to have a little private time to yourselves.” I answered and sat down in one of the uncluttered chairs. I mean I don’t have a lot of room to talk just now, do I? I was human and a MAN not all that long ago and now I’m cheerfully letting my former best friend boff me at least every other night we’re home. I just say, go with it, have fun, and well, whatever.”

This was really embarrassing, and I nearly offered to come back later. But the damage had been done, the ‘mood’ ruined, and I had news that both of them needed to hear anyway.

“But that ‘best friend’ is now your husband.” Alis pointed out, which threw me off the tracks all over again.

“Well… Yeah that is a point, but I’m not a prude or a tattletale. I give you both my word and oath that I won’t be the one to spill the beans about your private time.” I sighed at their blank looks and clarified the expression. “I won’t tell anyone?”

“Ahh, one of your ‘otherworld’ colloquialisms.” Kae’song nodded then gave me an expectant look. “I would gather that you have some important news from the way you barged in?”

“Oh, yeah.” I gave them a slightly embarrassed smile and nodded. “Just wanted to let you know to expect a messenger for me from Clan Pthon sometime within the next week or so. I met one of their priestesses on the way back and sent a message with her.”

“I see.” Alis actually grinned at me. “And I suppose this priestess willingly delivered your message?”

“It took — a little persuading.” I admitted. “I almost let Sssirinthss eat her and kind of broke her hand.

“Well she started it,” I defended myself at the looks the pair were giving me and knew I sounded like some little girl caught pulling another’s hair, “trying to throw a spell of some kind at me.”

“I’m sure she did, dear.” Alis soothed then couldn’t help but add. “We all know that you are the veritable picture of decorum, tact, and diplomacy.”

“Well, you don’t have to tease me about it, you know.” I pouted for a second then couldn’t help myself from breaking into a giggle. Okaaaay, just when did I start doing that? “I know I have some, uhh, rough edges and things. I’m working on that. Really!”

“We know dear, we know.” Alis, was getting dressed during the conversation then looked up as if the thought had just occurred to her. “Did she happen to tell you her name?”

“Mrrthiss Saaa Pthon, of Clan Pthon.” I answered.

“Well.” Alis actually stopped getting dressed for a moment and gave me a look that held both admiration and amusement. “If you must send a message, sending it with the daughter of the Clan Lord himself is a good way to make sure it is at least listened to.”

“Oh boy.” I closed my eyes for a moment and felt another headache trying to worm its way into my brain. Great, just great. I may have just made one of the more powerful local Dhro’aaa into a mortal enemy.

“Did you at least cure the broken hand you gave her?” Kae’song questioned carefully.

“I offered but she left before I could.” I answered quietly then brightened. “But I did heal the acid burn on her cheek.”

Kae’song lowered his head till one hand held his forehead and I heard a slightly muffled question from him. “Acid burn?”

“Sirin was drooling.” I answered simply.

“Do you know, Dahlia?” Alis was barely holding in her mirth. “At times having a conversation with you is more entertaining than sex?”

“Oh, yeah.” I tried to ignore that and added. “I seem to have acquired five — minions?”

“That would only be if you took their blood oaths, otherwise they are henchmen.” Alis told me, still working to restrain the laughter I could see in her eyes.

“Minions then.” I sighed and muttered. “I was afraid of that.”

“I will see that they are properly outfitted, Dahlia.” Kae’song answered while shaking his head. “You can pay me back later for the expense.”

“Thanks.” I told him then rolled my eyes. “One more little thing…”

“If this ‘one more little thing’ is anything at all like the first two tidbits, I rather doubt the Lady Alis will be able to contain her hysterics.” The mage chuckled. “Much as I hesitate to ask?”

“There is this girl in the village of Kaenae,” I answered. “she’s about eleven, maybe twelve years old. Her name is Lila and I think she should be checked for potential.”

“What kind of potential?”

“Don’t ask me.” I shot back. “I’m still new at all this magic and gods stuff. Magic? Extra willpower? It was just that something about her stood out is all.”

“We’ll check on her.” Kae’song nodded then gave me an inquiring look. “Is there anything else?”

“No, that pretty well covers it this time around.” I answered quietly.

I could hear Alis chortling from behind the door once I’d left and closed it behind me. “Oh, Kae’song. That one is either going to be an uncommon power or will at least amuse us while she lasts. Quite possibly both.”

“So glad I could lighten up your day.” I muttered and headed to my own chambers.

Sam was waiting for me there. “Got the boys settled into quarters just down the hall and arranged for them to have a decent meal. How’d the meeting with Kae’song go?”

“Don’t ask.” I grimaced. “I promised not to tell anyone.”

“That bad?”

“Damned if I know.” I sighed and flopped ungracefully into a couch and shook my head. “I seemed to amuse him and Alis this time around for some reason.”

“Well, look at it this way, love.” He joined me on the couch and put an arm around my shoulders. “You picked up five minions, beat up on what I got the impression was a reasonably powerful Dhro’aaa priestess, offered to let Sirrin have her for lunch… I can see how someone like Kae’song and Alis might see the humor in that.”

“I suppose.” I admitted then couldn’t help myself. I burst into tears and started shaking.

“What?” He turned me to look into my face, concern clear on his face. “I know their laughing isn’t something that would have you doing this. What is it?”

“I duh–don’t know!” I cried into his chest, hating the girliness of what I was doing even if it did feel good. “What’s happening to me? Some of the things I do, the ways I act, and react. What the hell am I becoming?”

“Shh, shhh, shh.” He soothed. “I know this is hard on you…”

“Not the girl thing.” I sobbed. “Even though that would be hard enough.

“Not that at all just now.” I swallowed and forced myself to go on. “I held all this in on the way back today. W–wouldn’t do for the new recruits to see me crying, shaking with terror, and carrying on this way, would it? But Sam, I’m scared! I’m doing things, thinking of doing things, and enjoying them, that I’d never have done as my old self! I’m not a bad person am I?”

“No. You’re not a bad person, Dahlia.” He quietly answered then shrugged. “If it helps I feel the same things you are right now. I don’t think we’re exactly good people any longer, but that doesn’t make us bad ones. I hope.”

“So do I.” Came my snuffled answer.

“We’ll deal with things as they come up.” He assured me. “Just like we’ve been staggering through life since we found ourselves here. I know that doesn’t sound all that encouraging, but at least we’ll do it together.”

“I guess so.”

“I know so.” He responded with a strength I had always known he possessed, but it had never made me feel so safe before.

I’d like to say that the tears and shakes stopped after that. They didn’t. Another little bit of my remaining shreds of masculinity fell screaming into the sea of femininity that I was swimming in while I got it all out of my system.

And okay, okay, I know I wasn’t all that much of a masculine paragon to begin with, but a girl — I mean guy — Whatever, has to have some pride, right? Oh, never mind. This gives me a real headache.

Sheesh.

* * * *

“Lady.” The voice yanked me out of a nice restful sleep — that hadn’t included a visit with ‘Mother’ thank you and I sat up to see my maids, Marisol, Evangaline, and Brigid alternating glances of mixed apprehension and amusement between me and the rooms behind them. I heard a cacophony of feminine screams, curses, and pleading from outside.

“What is that racket?” I questioned.

“Did you warn your — umm — new recruits not to wander around unescorted, Lady?” Marisol responded with a question of her own.

“Uhh…” I looked at a now wide awake Sam and he grimaced while shaking his head in the negative. “I guess not. Why?”

“Well.” Evangaline giggled then swallowed that and tried to hide her amusement. “It seems that they went on an expedition a short itme ago, Lady.”

“What did they do?” I wearily asked while getting into a robe and slippers Marisol offered me.

“They managed to get into the concubine’s bathing chambers.” Brigid added with a halfway exasperated sigh. “And jumped into the beauty pool with some of the girls.”

“Beauty pool, Concubine’s bath…” I trailed off and lowered my head into a hand. The concubine’s beauty pool had been designed by Kae’song for the women who were chosen to be his — companions in lieu of a wife. It endowed any girl who used it with an amazing amount of grace and made her more beautiful than she had been. In short, Kae’songs concubines were of surpassing beauty for a reason. “Please tell me that what I think happened, didn’t.”

“If we did that, Lady,” Marisol actually giggled then worked a contrite expression onto her face, “we would be lying to you.”

“Mother give me strength.” I almost pleaded in a whisper then looked up. “All right, let’s get this farce over with. Take me to them.”

Once I’d followed my maids into the aforementioned bath the first thing I noticed was a gaggle of breathtakingly lovely young women on one end who were giggling, pointing, and whispering to each other. Slowly, I turned to where they were gesturing and looking.

To see five equally lovely young ladies wearing shocked, woebegone expressions and unsuccessfully trying to hide their considerable attributes. Kae’song was a lech, but at he had good taste in his leching.

Letting out a long sigh, I gave the five ‘new girls’ a looking over and shook my head. “You guys just never learn, do you?”

I interrupted pleas for me to ‘fix this’, ‘put us back the way we were’ and other things with a cutting motion with one hand. “QUIET!”

That, at least went right.

Turning to the now silent concubines and gesturing to the five miscreants I pleasantly asked. “Could you get these five some robes and slippers, please?”

That started another round of protests from my five that I silenced with a glare that had them cowering away. “You WILL wear whatever these girls round up for you and you will NOT argue about it. Clear?”

Once that was accomplished one of the concubines timidly asked while prodding a set of male clothing with a delicate foot. “Do you wish for someone to bring these to your chambers, Lady?”

“I don’t think they’d fit these idiots if you did.” I sighed again and finished. “No, just have someone return them to stores for now, at least until someone can get this mess figured out.”

Turning back to my five minions, or whatever they were just then, I gestured to the door leading to the hallway. “Out, now.”

None of them were anxious to do that and it took another glare from moi to get them moving. I stalked out and started down the hall without looking back. “Close the door and come along — girls. Don’t dawdle.”

They didn’t and were in fact crowding so close to me that I almost got my heels stepped on once or twice before we reached my chambers to find a bemused Sam waiting at the open door. He looked at them, did a head count, and gave me a questioning look.

“Don’t ask, but yeah, it’s them.” I grumbled as my followers gratefully escaped the hallway and the last one even closed the door.

I glared at them one at a time, then as a group and ordered. “Robes off now.”

“But, Lady…” One of them started to protest with a look to Sam who absolutely refused to turn his eyes any other direction.

“Take. Them. Off.” I repeated. “Then just stand where you are.”

They did so, with assorted blushes, scowls, and looks of fear in their eyes. I took the time to look at them again and could tell, sort of, who had been who but I wasn’t letting them off that easy. Besides, they needed something to take their poor little minds off their worries without letting them ignore things.

“All right.” I seated myself and nodded. “We can start with introductions. By that I mean telling me just who you were before taking your ill advised swim.”

The first one to step forward was lovely little Dhro’aaa, not as tall as I was, but more — umm —rounded. Her ice blue eyes held misery as she hesitantly told me. Her hair was shorter than my mane, but not by much. “I am — was, Yannis, Lady.”

The next, a stunning half elf with cornflower hair cut to her shoulders who was actually a bit taller than me, with a lithe, svelte figure stared almost frantically at me from curiously gold colored eyes and gulped. “I am Ilsu, Lady.”

“You were, Ilsu.” I answered as gently as I could but waved her back so another could step up.

The next was a full elf, a woods elf, I knew somehow, and was clearly embarrassed by her firmly rounded and very feminine shape. Her green tinted hair fell in waves across slim shoulders and down her slender back. Her grey eyes were wide with distress as she quietly told me. “I — was Jance, m’lady.”

“Next?” I gave the remaining pair an expectant look until the full high elf of the lot stepped forward, trying to shake her spun gold shaded mane out of her face while sighing in resignation. “It’s Llew, Lady.”

I looked into her soft green eyes and nodded while waving the last on forward. She was another Dhro’aa, shorter, slimmer, but still undoubtedly female and with more than enough of that appeal that our kind possessed in the physical department. Her hair was actually just below her ears and her dark eyes gleamed like onyx as she told me. “Osgal, Lady.”

“All right — ladies. I started in and felt the winces all of them gave when I called them that. “I can see that some name changes are in order, but we’ll get to that in a while here. First, I’d like to know just WHAT in the NINE hells you thought you were doing?”

“Wuh–we were well fed, had a bit of ale, were clean and dressed halfway decently, Lady.” Yannis or ex-Yannis told me glumly. “When we heard girls laughing and giggling. None of us had really had a dalliance for quite some time, if you discount old Meg, who at times would have paid us to do her, and decided to go investigate if you know what I mean.”

“Men.” I shook my head and briefly wondered where I’d picked that bit of attitude up and prodded him — her or whatever. “So you just took off down the corridor in a place you knew was full of magic and just happened to break into the concubines bathing chambers — who by the way are reserved for Lord Kae’song and his guests, the concubines not the baths - and somehow managed to get the door unlocked. What next?”

“The door wasn’t locked, Lady.” Yannis answered. “In fact it was partly open when we reached it.”

“Is that so?” I questioned, smelling a rat in all this, or at least a meddling spider. “Never mind, go on.”

“When we got inside, the door closed, but none of us were really paying that much attention because of the girls in the pool. They had been splashing and having a lot of fun, but once they saw us they were surprised, then I think pleased.

“Things being what they were, we took off our clothing and jumped in to join them.” Yannis grimaced. “The rest, well — you know.”

“And we weren’t able to dally with them for even a short time.” Ilsu mournfully added. “Before this happened.”

“I see.” I did sympathize, but didn’t think then would be a good time to mention that little fact so simply finished with a tired. “All right, girls. Put your robes back on and have a seat while I think about this.”

They did and I waved a still amused Marisol forward.” Get us cups and wine, if you would.”

Once she was off on that mission, I looked at Brigid and told her. “Go see if you locate Kae’song, and Lady Alis if she is still here and request their presence here, please.”

I looked at the five trembling, newly made females, then to Evangaline. “Their hair is a mess, find a brush or two and see if you help them tame those manes, please.”

“Mind the wine.” I cautioned the five of them as Marisol reappeared and started pouring cups for each of us. “I suspect it will hit you harder now than it did before. Sip it slowly.

The last thing I needed was a gaggle of drunk, depressed, girls stumbling around in my rooms. But they did need something to focus on and to settle their nerves a bit.

A highly amused Alis conferred quietly with Kae’song, shook her head, shrugged, then seated herself while accepting a cup of wine from Marisol.

Kae’song accepted his and nodded to my maid before giving the five newly minted girls a long, perplexed look. “I honestly do not understand how this happened. The pool was made to enhance female beauty, yes, but it shouldn’t have changed your — minions into full females. Oh, they would have come out very pretty and feminine looking but would have remained males where it counts and they certainly would not have changed race. That I could have reversed. They aren’t the first to sneak into my concubines’ quarters so I know it could have been done.”

“But now?” I asked with a sinking feeling in my gut and the thought that ‘Mom’ and I were going to have a nice long talk. “Could have been?”

“It seems that they are locked into those forms and nothing I can think of short of a god’s intervention is going to change that. My apologies.”

“No need.” I took in a deep breath and very firmly said into the air. “MOTHER. We need to talk.”

“It was unseemly for you to have five males, and human ones at that, tramping about behind you while eyeing your backside, daughter.” The familiar voice answered firmly. “Therefore, I made a few little changes so your new minions would be proper companions for you, dear.”

“Nice of you to worry about me and all that.” I answered slowly. “But do you think you could, maybe, change them back?”

“Absolutely not.” She retorted. “I will NOT have grubby human males as the blood sworn companions for MY daughter.”

“Uhhh, please?”

“We will not discuss this further.” Loltlh firmly told me then added. “Though I will grant them the boon of being comfortable with who and what they are now.”

“Guess I’ll take what I can get.” I muttered then my vision cleared and I could see the others staring at me. “What? A girl can’t call her mom around here?”

“Uh, darling.” Sam let out a breath. Most calls to Mom where we came from tended to be private, you know? We all heard that conversation.”

“Oh. Crap.” I let my shoulders slump and looked to the five transformees. “Sorry, Mother is being stubborn, but I’ll keep working on her.”

“I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you, though, ladies.” Alis smirked. “Our dear Dahlia gets her stubborn streak from her mother.”

“Once. Just once.” I questioned nothing and no one in particular. “Couldn’t something in my life be simple and straightforward? Is that too much to ask?”

---

 

“Lady, do we have to do this?” The former Yannis plaintively questioned while suspiciously eyeing the garments laid out for her.

“Yes you do, Annisathhhe, you do.”

“But these are women’s clothes!” She protested while wincing at the name I’d given her.

“No!” I gave her a wide eyed look of mock surprise. “Really? In case you didn’t get the memo, that happens to be what you are right now.”

“Get the what?” She questioned in her silky voice with a confused expression.

“Never mind, dear.” I sighed. “Just let us help you into those things. You’re going to have to dress appropriately for your new sex, after all.”

“Oh, all right.” She grumbled and got into the underthings, all nice delicate silk calculated to feel wonderful against her hairless skin, the gown of ice blue spider silk that not only hugged her figure but really brought out her beautiful eyes while going very nicely with her dark skin, and stepped into the dainty slippers that matched. Then she gave me another plaintive look. “How do you deal with all this hair?”

“You get used to it.” I patted her shoulder and left before the attendants started her cosmetics and jewelry with the command. “Do what the girls ask of you.”

I heard the start of a muffled protest as I left the room, but that ended pretty quickly. Well, one down.

Ilsa’s striking golden eyes were wider than a frightened mare’s when I checked on her. She gave a yelp of relief as I entered and glared at the girls who were gathered at the other side of the room. “Lady, have you seen what these — girls are trying to get me to wear?”

“Of course, Ilsa.” I answered then gave her an evil grin. “That would be because I chose them for you.”

With a bit more fuss I got her gentled down and into the stockings, dusty rose tunic dress that barely reached her knees and the matching soft boots. “There, that isn’t so bad now, is it?”

“Maybe not if you’re a girl.” She grumbled then blushed. On her light complexion that really stood out and I suppressed a chuckle as she weakly finished. “Oh, right.”

“Good girl.” I gave her an encouraging smile and added. “Now let these ladies finish getting ready without all the arguing, okay?”

“Yes, m’lady.” She answered with resignation if not acceptance in her voice.

“I am NOT wearing that getup!” Jonce, rechristened Janise shook her head, which had her long green hair flying all over in a surprisingly and fetchingly girlish manner.

“Nice girly gesture, Janise.” I complimented, which stopped her cold while gasping like a newly landed fish.

“But, but, just LOOK at the things they want me to wear!” Pointing at the blood red silk gown laid out on the table, along with the other things her grey eyes were filled with outrage.

“They should look quite lovely on you, dear.” I soothed. “Now stop fighting the inevitable and get dressed as you’ve been instructed to do. Let the girls help you and grumble all you like but don’t resist what they’ve been told to do here.”

She let out a long, suffering sigh, closed her eyes then moved towards the garments as if she were headed for her execution. But she allowed the girls to start getting her dressed.

“Get away from me!” Lissara, formerly Llew shouted from near the ceiling when I entered that room. Looking at her perched precariously atop a wardrobe with an improvised staff that was generally used as a hatrack in her hands I couldn’t help but laugh. “Lady, tell these — these GIRLS to go away!”

Oh, yeah, Lissara was going to be the problem child, I could already see that. Shaking my head at both the situation and her stubbornness, not to mention resourcefulness, I gestured for her to come down. “Put that hatrack down then get yourself down here.”

“No.”

“You don’t want to make me come up there to get you.” I threatened and as she still refused to move, I started climbing the wardrobe. Wearing the emerald green gown I’d chosen that morning.

“Wait! Don’t do that, Lady!” She swallowed and added. “It is unseemly for a Lady like you to be climbing around on the furniture.”

“I could say much the same about you.” I answered as I snatched the hatrack out of her grasp. “Now come down and behave yourself.”

She did, with a lot of grumbling and glares all around before indignantly announcing. “Lady, they expect me to wear — those horrible things!”

Giving the pale blue knee length gown a casual look, I shrugged. “So? I think it would look quite nice on you.”

“But it’s, it’s…” She spluttered.

“A dress.” I finished for her. “Yes, I know. And before you start in with the bit about men don’t wear dresses, remember what you saw in the mirror this morning then think it through.”

“You aren’t giving me a choice here, are you?” She questioned weakly.

“None at all, sweetie.” I answered and grinned at her little wince as I called her that. “Now let the nice girls get you presentable and don’t give them any more trouble, all right?”

“Yes, m’lady.” She responded, then gave the still wary girls a little moue of contrition and shrugged. “Sorry?”

The last one, Osetthe formerly Osgol was a shock even after the past couple of days.

She was arguing with the girls, but not about the style of clothing but its color.

“This just isn’t right for me, I tell you.” She lifted the hem of her Purple gown and grimaced. “It clashes with my skin. Don’t you have something else I could wear?”

“Uh hello?” I interrupted the discussion and peered at her. “You were Osgol, right?”

“Yes, m’lady.” She nodded then gave me a sheepish look. “But really this gown just won’t do.”

“You’re arguing color and skin tones already?”

“Lady.” Osetthe let out an exasperated sigh. “Just because I was a male doesn’t mean that I was completely ignorant of things like color, cut, and complexion.”

“I see.” With a nod I asked. “Just which color would you prefer?”

“That one.” She indicated one in glittering black silk that I did have to admit went better with her eyes.

“Let her wear it.” I told the girls and left more gobsmacked than I cared to admit.

At least I didn’t have to talk that one down from atop a wardrobe.

So how was ‘the first dressing session’ for our new girls?” Sam asked carefully when I returned to the main receiving chamber of our rooms.

“About what you’d expect.” I shrugged then shook my head. “I had to almost pull Lissara off the top of her wardrobe, the others argued but gave in…”

“But?”

“You’ll see when they get here.” I answered. “I’ll let you make up your mind without any previous input from me.”

“This should be interesting.” He grinned. “I recall the first day you had to get dressed for the way you are now.”

“Don’t remind me.” I chuckled. “At least they get to wear real skirts instead of those long loin cloths.”

Oh, I’m sure they really appreciate that.” He answered a little sarcastically.

“Oh, trust me, they will.” I grinned up at him with a wink.

My five — all right, they were still minions, even if they weren’t all that happy about what that seemed to involve at the moment, entered the main room uncertainly then stood awkwardly, nervously, belligerently, and in one case easily in front of us.

Annisette fidgeted with her bodice while refusing to look at anyone. Ilsa kept trying to pull the hem of her skirt lower, which only showed more of her cleavage and the globes of her breasts then would pull the neckline back up. Janise stood there resignedly but in a most unfeminine posture. Lissara glared at everyone and seemed to be daring anyone, anyone at all, to say anything about how she was dressed. Osethhe demurely waited for what was to come next.

Sam gave them each a long look, widened his eyes at how the last one was behaving and let out a low whistle. “I see what you mean, darling.”

“Yes.” I sighed and shook my head while I answered him. “I can see deportment lessons coming up, well maybe not for all of them.”

The rest of the day went with things like this.

“Annis! Stop fidgeting with your gown, all that twitching and lifting your skirt is wrong.”

Ilsa, please stop trying to stretch what you’re wearing. It won’t work and all you’ll do is tear it and end up showing more of yourself!

“Janise!” don’t slump, your breasts aren’t going to go away and doing that only makes them hang and attract attention even more than standing straight would do.

“No, Lissara, you CAN’T try to disembowel every man who just glances at you!”

“Very good, Osethhe.” Well, there was always one odd one in a group.

It was overall, a very wearing day.

“So, how goes it with your new ladies?” Kae’song asked once I had eased myself into a chair and accepted a goblet of chilled fruit juice.

“Don’t ask.” I grimaced then had to chuckle. “Was I that bad?”

“Worse, actually.” He laughed.

“Well, it’s clear that getting them gentled down to what they are now is going to take more than several days. We can’t even start their training until that happens.” I grumbled.

“With one exception.” He pointed out.

“There’s one in every crowd.” I agreed. “Osethhe is taking to things as if her wildest dream just came true. She’s already picking pockets on anyone who gets near her and is starting to vamp some of the males around her.”

“Vamp?”

“Come on to them, ummm, entice them with her charms.” I replied with a chuckle. “If the noises I heard coming from her room last night are any indication, she has already been successful at that, too.”

“Perhaps your Mother’s boon is starting sooner with that one.” The mage mused.

“Maybe.” I shrugged. “Or it could be something else, too.”

“It is uncommon.” Kae’song nodded judiciously. “But there have been cases of men wishing to be women before this.”

“Yes, I know.” I answered and decided if some guy wanted to be a gal in THIS world the way most of it was, they really, really were in the wrong body. Changing that subject I asked. “So, what have you and yours discovered about their talents?”

“Well, the lovely, sensuous, Annisethhe is a potential mage.” He told me with a grin. “Once that one settles into her new sex I think you’ll have some competition for the title of beauty of the keep.”

“Easier said than done.” I groused, but nodded in agreement. “A mage, then?”

“Definitely. I already have one of my better apprentices instructing her in the basics.” He smiled. “She certainly has the aptitude and will for it.”

“Ilsa?” I questioned.

“Determined, but no magical talent that can be pinpointed.” He answered. “Though her coordination and deceptive strength points towards a warrior more than anything else.”

“I would have thought that would be Lissara.” I mused. “With the way she threatens to hurt any male who even gives her an interested glance. I had to take a table knife from her yesterday before she could gut a page foolish enough to wink at her.”

“You have her pegged, then.” He agreed. “But do try to rein in her more violent urges, would you?”

“Trust me, I am.” I grumbled.

“Janise already shows a marked affinity for woodlands and forest.” He went on. “Not surprising given the race she now is. Minor magical abilities, good coordination, and shows much promise with a bow, and short sword. She seems to have an uncanny ability to see tracks and determine what made them and how long ago that was.”

“Hmm. Ranger.” I thoughtfully answered.

“That is what I’ve been told, yes.”

You don’t need to tell me about Osethhe.” I told him. “Thief if I ever saw one.”

“Indeed, and probably a potential assassin as well.” Kae’song responded then took a sip of his own drink. “Her speed, coordination, and ability to blend with her surroundings are nearly as good as your own.”

So, we make an interesting group.” I mused. Three fighters, a mage, a thief, a ranger, and me.”

Seem well balanced to you? I knew it! I just knew it! Mommy dearest had stacked the deck when she’d transformed those guys into gals.

Our conversation was interrupted by a small commotion at the doors leading to the front of the citadel and a disheveled guardsman entered in company with an amused Lord Kevin. The latter bowed formally, and informed me. “Someone to see you, Lady Dahlia.”

---

 

“A visitor?” I looked at Kae’song who just shrugged to let me know this was my show then returned my attention to Kevin. “Might as well show them in, then. And what happened to him? I hope he didn’t do anything to insult my guest.”

“Guests, m’lady.” Kevin grinned and shook his head while giving the guardsman an almost pitying look. “And no, this one just got a lesson in manners from of your new handmaidens. Since this isn’t my home I thought that should be left to either one of you.”

“Lisarra,” I muttered and briefly closed my eyes, “that girl is going to make me crazy.

“All right, all right!” I responded to Kae’song’s smirk as he heard that. “Crazier than I am. Better?”

“More accurate.” The mage chuckled.

“I love you, too.” I grumbled and waited for my guests to arrive. There was no suspense involved there since no one in their right mind came here to see me. Or even knew me well enough to seek me out.

So I wasn’t at all surprised when a pair of burly (for elves) Dhro’aaa males entered, glared suspiciously around then placed themselves on either side of the door. With Sam, and these guys, who may or may not have been the pair I had encountered in the woods with Mrrthiss, I really had to wonder how all the gamers and writers back home had ever gotten the idea that the males of the race were smaller and subservient to the females. Oh well. To be honest, a full grown male Dhro’aaa was actually kind of imposing and a little scary from what I’d seen so far.

Writers and their fantasies. Sheesh.

What did surprise me was the entourage that entered following that.

Oh, Mrrthiss was there, and in the lead. That I hadn’t exactly expected. But it appeared that every priestess in her clan had come with her to get a look at ‘the strange renegade’ who had bested their princess. Was princess the right designation for her? Couldn’t tell you just then. Nope, not clue one as to what title besides priestess Mrrthiss held.

If not every priestess, at least there were a lot of them. About ten, but I’d never seen that many Dhro’aaa before in my rather short life on this world. So, you might think I gave them a regal stare, or overpowered them with my powerful gaze, or gave them an overly formal greeting. Right?

Wrong.

I looked at them, tilted my head with a grin and brightly said. “Hi.”

Okay, I’m kind of a goof when I’m nervous, I already knew that.

Kae’song cleared his throat, gave me a look that plainly said he thought I really had taken leave of my senses that time and rose from his chair to give the visitors a bow. “Welcome to my Citadel, give no harm and take none while you are here.”

At his rather pointed look, I stood up too. But a little voice in my head (Yeah, Mama was meddling again) insisted that I didn’t bow to them. So I simply looked them over for a few moments.

“Welcome, all of you.” I parroted the mage’s greeting then added. “As Kae’song has said, offer no harm here and none will come to you.”

“We offer none.” Mrrthiss answered with a rather formal curtsey. The hand I’d hurt in our first meeting was still bandaged and I wondered why that was.

“Your message was received and deliberated on.” Mrrthiss replied then let a little grimace appear on her face. “I communed with the goddess once I returned to Caet’he Og and learned that you told me the truth.”

I could tell from the way she said that that the communing must have been a real hum-dinger. “Oh, well at least you believe me now. I see that your hand is still sore?”

The others in her retinue were standing there with a regal disdain for anyone else that I was starting to associate with Dhro’aaa. Did all of them have sticks up their butts? But underneath that I also noticed they were nervous, not all that friendly, and definitely NOT happy to be here.

“My injury won’t heal.” Mrrthiss answered me with a sigh. “No one has been able to heal my hand.”

I sensed the rather busy hand of Mama again and sighed. “Let me see it.”

She hesitated, so I walked up to her with a loud sigh. “Oh, for… Let me see it. I can tell you’re in pain and if you are then it will be all that much harder to negotiate, now won’t it?”

“You speak oddly.” She told me but nodded and held out her bandaged and splinted hand. “Yet I get the gist of what you mean.”

“Finally.” I muttered. “Someone else showing more than a thimble full of sense.”

I gently took her hand and started unwrapping the bandage and carefully removing the splints. Wow, it was really a mess, swollen, one hand shaped bruise (which showed as reddish brown on her dark skin, and had several broken fingers that were obvious even through the swelling. “I take it pain remedies haven’t worked, either?”

“No.” She shook her head as she said that through clenched teeth then gave me a hopeful look. “Will you be able to ease this for me?”

“Fair is fair.” I told her. “I did this so I guess it is up to me to fix it. If you hadn’t left in such a hurry the first time we met, I would have done this then.”

“I think it was an object lesson, Lady.” She answered as I gently probed the damage. I hadn’t realized I’d hurt her that badly and felt kind of not-so-good about that.

“Knowing, Mother,” I shook my head, “that’s probably true. Now hold still, I need to really see this before I start.”

The damage was extensive. Injuries like this would have taken a lot of surgery and physical therapy back home to even get the hand functioning at all. Now how did I know that? Back home the sum total of my medical knowledge was, take Tylenol for a headache, antibiotics would do diddly squat for a cold, and it was best to avoid hospitals if at all possible.

But that was beside the point. Here I knew. I also knew that fixing this was going to take more than a simple healing. I started with that, though, and saw the faint lines of pain etched into her otherwise pristine face disappear as I did. The swelling went down and vanished, along with the bruising and the bones knit back together under my hands, but her hand was still in a near useless claw when I’d finished.

Mrrthiss looked at it, shook it, and actually smiled. “The pain is gone.”

“Good.” I told her while wondering what to do next.

“This.” An all too familiar voice whispered and something showed me.

“I’m not finished yet.” I scolded her as she started to move away. “Give me your hand again. Simple healing wasn’t enough to make that useable.”

To this day it is still difficult to describe what I did there. I was just able to look into her and SEE how that hand had been before it was injured. I yanked that image out of where it resided and superimposed it on the injured hand, then told it to become real. Yeah, I just told a ghostly image to do that. Much to my surprise it worked.

Go figure.

She flexed the restored hand, wiggled her fingers, rotated her wrist and started smiling. “I am in your debt, Lady Dahlia saaa Llolth.”

“No you aren’t.” I told her firmly. “I did the damage that caused your difficulties, so it was up to me to make it right. That, I think, was my object lesson from my Mother.”

“You are very strange person, Dahlia saa Llolth.” Mrrthiss looked at me and I saw something in her eyes that I’d never expected to see given what I’d heard and learned about the Dhro’aaa. Gratitude.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” I answered then took pity on her confused expression. “I’ve been told that. Frequently.”

“A Dhro’aaa does what is necessary at the time then does not bother with the consequences. None of us would have cared that a victim was crippled by one of our acts other than to feel satisfaction.”

“Then maybe it’s time for a change.” I told her.

She gave me an odd look, as if I’d just sprouted Brussels sprouts all over my body or something like that got a thoughtful look on her face and nodded. “Possibly that is true.”

I was used to getting odd looks from people by then so I simply, quietly answered. “Yeah, think about it. I’m not asking for miracles here, just think about it. Everything starts with one person no matter how big or small it is.”

“Indeed, Lady.” She answered slowly and thoughtfully. “No wonder you are renegade. What you say goes against all our people have known and believed from the formation of the world.”

“Everything, everyone,” I countered, “has to change just to survive at times, Mrrthiss.”

“I begin to see that, Lady.” She answered.

“My name is Dahlia.” I snorted. “All this Lady, m’lady, bowing, scraping, and banging heads on the floor kind of thing gets irritating after awhile. Now, come to the table, have a seat, take some refreshment, and tell me what your council’s answer to my request was.”

She did so, but her retinue held back. I could see that something in their attitudes had changed, and much to my embarrassment caught something close to awe in many of their expressions. Oh, that had to stop right now.

“All of you.” I gestured at them then to the furniture scattered around the place. “Sit down, relax, and enjoy the refreshments Kae’song’s excellent servants offer you. We’re kind of informal around here most of the time and all that stiffness is giving me the heebie jeebies. So lighten up, sit down, have a drink and a snack and stop worrying. This isn’t some clever trap. I really do wish to establish at least halfway pleasant relations with your people. So poisoning any of you would be kind of counter- productive don’t you think?”

They did as I asked, but still acted like they were obeying a command. Oh well, this deal with the Dhro’aaa was bound to be long and drawn out, with them kicking, screaming, clawing, and backsliding all the way. But at least they managed to appear relaxed as a number of girls I recognized as Kae’song’s concubines began circulating with wine, juices, meats, and fruits.

Once Mrrthiss had been served and my goblet had been refilled, I looked her in the eyes and asked. “So, what was the decision?”

“The elders have agreed to meet with you.” She answered. “But only within Caet’he Og.”

“That is something I’m willing to do.” I nodded.

“At the next fullness of Lythia.” Mrrthiss added a bit uncomfortably.

Lythia was the largest of the three moons that this world had. Its cycle was roughly thirty days, and we were two past the last full phase, which gave me about twenty eight days to prepare. “That is acceptable, so long as I have assurances and oaths that I will not be attacked when I arrive.”

“You have my oath that you will not be harmed during that meeting.” She answered.

Sheesh, are all elves that transparent about trying to be slippery?

“Good, but I also require the promise of safe passage to and from Caet’he Og before I will agree to meeting them there.”

“You have it.” She repeated that then took out a small ornamental dagger that wasn’t quite as ornamental as it looked. I made a mental note to never take anyone’s jewelry for granted after seeing that, and cut the palm of the hand I’d just healed. She held that over her cup, letting a few drops land in it then passed it to me.

I added a bit of my own to the brew then took a sip before returning it to her. She drank then passed it to a servant with the order to pass it to all her people present.

Once that ritual was finished, she rose and gave me respectful nod. “Till the full of Lythia then.”

They all trooped out in reverse order from their entrance after that.

Lord Kevin Dregostes looked at me, at Kae’song then at the door the delegation had just passed through. “I have to tell you I have never seen anything like that. Dhro’aaa tend to be a fractious bunch and to see that many of them remain that polite for that long…”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked.

“Oh indeed, Lady Dahlia.” He affirmed then added quietly. “It is a gods be-damned miracle if you ask me.”

“No wonder the race is dying out.” I muttered.

Next up was the just slightly mauled guardsman. He had prudently vanished into a convenient alcove when the Dhro’aaa had appeared. Okay truthfully, he had looked at the two males, paled, and scramble-dived to the first reasonably safe spot he could find.

“They’re gone.” I announced to the area in general. “You can come out now.”

That one slowly looked out from the draperies that he thought had hidden him. I knew better but decided that just now wasn’t a good time to point out that everyone in the chamber had known where he had hidden. Once satisfied that the nasty, evil, scary Dhro’aaa really were gone he emerged with a sigh of relief then paled all over again when he noticed I was still there.

Kevin waved him forward with a look at Kae’song. That one shrugged then indicated me with a point of his chin to indicate this one was mine to deal with.

“Oh for the gods sake, man.” I grumbled. “I’m not going to eat, bite, curse, or hurt you. Get your butt over here and tell me what happened.”

The man stared at me with wide eyes, but I could see that my order had actually relaxed him a bit. But he was still hesitant to move.

“Right here.” I pointed to a spot on the floor in front of me and gave him an expectant look. “Now if you please.”

Well, at least he didn’t flinch. Even better he marched right up to the spot I had indicated and went to attention.

Well, at least he was where I could talk to him. “All right, what happened and who did this to you?”

Up close I could see that he was bruised, had a black eye, and his nose was swollen. Well, maybe he hadn’t run afoul of Lisarra. He’d have probably bled to death by that time if she was to blame.

“It was the short one, of your kind, Lady.” He answered hesitantly. “I know she has been sharing her charms with others and sought to experience them myself. She objected.”

“So I see.” I nodded. At least it hadn’t been my constantly blood thirsty handmaiden. That alone was kind of refreshing. “Just how did you approach Oessethhe?”

“I offered to share a little wine with her then showed her how much I appreciated her form.” He answered.

Uh oh. “Tell me you didn’t grope her.”

“Grope, Lady?”

“Get too familiar with parts of her that women in general don’t like having touched by strangers.” I answered.

“I merely patted her bottom — and stroked one of her breasts.”

I hadn’t been female all that long myself yet, but after hearing that I had to restrain myself from hurting him a little more. Just a little bit more you understand. “Did she invite those touches?”

He looked uncomfortable but finally shook his head in the negative.

“All right.” I sat back and just stared at the man for a few moments. “What is your name?”

“Morales, Lady.” He answered reluctantly. Good, now I had a name to use while I tore into him.

“Morales,” I carefully asked, “You are aware that my — handmaidens were men just a few days ago aren’t you?”

“I have heard the rumors of an event in the concubine’s quarters.” He nodded. “But rumors are often overblown, Lady.”

“Well, if those rumors involved five men getting changed into females, they were right.” I told him. “I know Oessetthe likes the boys, trust me, I’ve spoken with her about that at length. But up to now she has initiated those encounters. To be honest, with what that girl can already do you’re lucky she didn’t kill you.

In future,” I went on. “and do tell your fellows this, if one of my handmaidens initiates things that lead to good times in the sack, enjoy it. But never, ever try to get that going without their consent. The girls are new to all that kind of thing and still aren’t fully aware of the things they can do without even thinking about it.

“You are lucky to have gotten off with a few bruises, a broken nose, and whatever.” I went on. “If you had done that to Lisarra, the tall, willowy one with the golden hair, the healers would have had a hard time even saving you.”

He nodded, quite fervently. I actually thought he was going to shake his head right off his neck for a minute there.

“If one of my girls shows you she is interested, and that does not mean with the way she walks or glances at you, have fun. Though if it should happen to be the golden haired high elf, it might be wise to have some healing potions with you or a healer close by in the unlikely event she would even allow herself to think about having that kind of fun with a man.” I told him. “My handmaidens are not whores. They just aren’t used to being beautiful, desirable females yet. Tread very softly when they are around. If one wishes to have the attentions of a man, they’ll show it, and most likely ask or maybe just drag the lucky guy into a dark corner to have her way with him.”

Kae’song gave me an approving look then lifted an eyebrow to tell me that I’d forgotten something.

“Of course, I will have a talk with the girls about this kind of thing.” Sheesh. I’d been female all of what? A few months? And here I was promising to give the local equivalent of sex ed to someone else.

Oh, this mess just kept getting better and better. Not!

I had that discussion with my ‘handmaidens’. And no I am sooo not going to describe it. They had only been female for a few days and having the birds and bees, or satyrs and nymphs explained to them by me was just plain embarrassing. Not to mention the nuances of sexual suggestiveness from the other side of things they were used to being on.

But come to think of it they were more receivers of that bounty than they had been before. Much more so. Me too, come to think of it. Nope, not going there right now. I was still reluctant to admit out loud and in front of people that I LIKED what Sam did with me in bed on a cold night, or a warm night, or a…

Well, you get the idea.

*Blush*

---

 

I watched Oesssethhe miss another throw with a knife and saw the problem. Her trainer, Goresh looked at me and shrugged. I just gave him a wink and walked up to the frustrated girl.

“Sethe,” I greeted her, “I’ve been watching you throw.”

“I just can’t seem to get it right, no matter how much Goresh shows me.” She admitted and I could feel her frustration as much as I could see it.

“You’re still used to being male.” I told her.

“I love being female!” She countered then stopped and gave me a look that said she was beginning to understand.

“Yes you do.” I agreed, not going into the long, really long discussion I’d had with her about being a bit more careful with the way she acted around males in general. “But you’re still trying to throw as if you were male.”

She gave me a puzzled look then shook her head. “What is the difference, Lady? You see a target, you throw at it.”

“True enough.” I answered. “But think about this. Your center of gravity has changed, your greater areas of physical strengths have changed. A male uses his upper body when throwing. It doesn’t increase accuracy just gives the throw more force.

“You don’t need that force.” I went on. “You don’t have the upper body strength to make that work. So you use the strengths you have now.

“When you try to use the ingrained male way of throwing, it makes you miss because your arms, shoulders, and hips are different. You don’t have the physical strength to force the throw any longer and the way your body moves is different.” I told her. “Now your hips have a great deal of impact on what you do in anything, be it walking, standing, or fighting. Use that. Focus your center on that lower center of balance. Don’t try to force the blade to penetrate the target. Let the whole action flow from your feet, to your knees, to your hips. Once you do that, use your arms and shoulders, but don’t depend on their strength to do what you wish to happen. A simple twitch of a hip can produce a lot more power in a throw than most men can generate with their broad shoulders and big arms.”

She looked at me and I could see that she wanted to do a face plant right there.

Her next throw was right on target and so was every other one I watched her do.

“Lissara.” I called to the most violent of my handmaidens once she had reduced her sparring partners, yes partners, in the sword drills to quivering heaps of badly bruised meat.

Once she had wiped the perspiration (women perspire, not sweat, I’d learned) from her face she put her wooden practice sword back into the rack where it belonged then walked over to me. “Yes, Lady?”

“Lissa.” I told her. One thing you need to understand here is that you are a good warrior, one I wouldn’t care to face in face to face combat. That is something to be proud of.”

“My thanks, Lady.” She answered. “But that is not what you found me to say, is it?”

“No.” I looked at her and even all sweaty and disheveled from her workout the girl was flat out gorgeous. Her gold colored hair, her sea green eyes, her light complexion, her shape… “You have no problems being a warrior at all.

“But I have seen you looking at your reflection at times and I can tell that you are starting to like what you see.” I told her.

“But that is an image, Lady. Not me!” She countered. “Of course any male self would get pleasure and arousal from seeing that!”

“That is part of my point, dear.” I nodded and reached out to give her hand a little pat. “It is not JUST an image. What you see in those reflections is you. You aren’t male now, and you aren’t human. Your race, elves, has always been considered beautiful by humans, but you are lovely even among elves.”

“So?”

“You are going to need to start accepting the simple fact that males are going to look at you with the appreciation a beautiful female deserves.

“I have seen you, as I said, admiring and just looking at your reflection.” I pressed the issue. “Having been male before you know what a male would think when one sees you as you are now.”

“Yes I do, and that is why I fight that when one approaches me.” She shot back.

“When they do that, would it be so hard to simply ignore them, or return their smiles with a little upward twitch at the corners of your mouth that no one would interpret as a smile of welcome?”

“I don’t like men that way!” She almost shouted.

“I know.” I soothed. “There is nothing to say that you have to do that. If you like women stop glowering and threatening the males long enough to look at how the females watch you. There is nothing in what changed you saying you have to bed a male, Lissara.”

“Oh.” That one got her. She stared off into space for a while then came back still looking as surprised as she had when I told her that. “Is that something the gods would condone?”

“My Mother doesn’t mind.” I informed her then grinned. “Getting to know some of my relatives on her side has shown me a lot of things. Trust me, the gods are just as petty, and often confused as you are. All I ask here is that you stop trying to gut any male unfortunate enough to give you an appreciative look. If you are obviously partnered with another female most of them will leave you alone.”

“Such unions are unnatural.” She countered.

“My mother is a goddess, Lissara.” Okay, I’d finally done it. Pulled out that goddess card in my deck of life and general methods of getting along in life. But this time I thought it was needed. “Are you going to try telling me that something that doesn’t offend HER is unnatural?”

I was finished there. I just walked away to let her think about what I’d told her. I also expected her to collect some bruises during training because of that. Hey! A little humility never hurt anyone, right?

Janise was working her way through a tracking exercise in the overgrown parts of the garden. You know, the one full of traps, potentially dangerous beasties, and vegetation just as likely to eat you as let you smell it? It was one of the places where Kae’song actually allowed intruders to enter the citadel. Not many made it past that wild garden, by the way.

“Wow.” I commented once she’d taken out a particularly bad tempered vine-wolf and avoided another carnivorous something or other that disguised itself as an apple tree.

“I take it that is an expression of satisfaction with your hand maiden’s performance?” Kae’song chuckled as I just nodded. “That one is quite good. It seems that your Mother has provided well for your companions.”

“Yeah.” I grimaced. “Mom and I still aren’t talking all that much, she’s still upset that I got pissed off at the way she got me my handmaidens. Oh, pissed off means angry.”

“I know.” The mage chuckled. “I’ve heard you use the expression before and the circumstances tended to help me understand what it meant.”

“Hormones.” I told him and sighed. “My moods swing, so does my temperament, and I’m beginning to wonder how any species manages to survive if its females are that way.”

“Said females learn to curb those baser, unthinking impulses.” He answered with another chuckle. “You’re learning.”

“Getting used to, more like.” I grumbled, but had to admit that he had a point there.

“As do all females as they grow into the maturity of their lives and bodies.”

“No one likes a know-it-all, you know.” I told him.

“That may well be the reason for my lack of popularity in social circles.” He easily agreed.

I gave up. The man was insufferable when he got that way. I just nodded, validating what he’d just said by NOT yelling or cussing at him, and left to see how the others I hadn’t checked on yet were doing.

Ilsa was gleefully running rings around a bunch of fighter types, any one of which would have taken the old me apart in less time than it took to take a breath. The girl just seemed to flow to one side or the other, or back, forward, up, down, whatever was needed for the situation. The trainers couldn’t touch her and she took an inordinate amount of pleasure from touching one or the other and shouting, “Tag! You’re it!”

The only problem I could see with her was curbing her enthusiasm for the sport. But one real fight would probably take care of that I thought with some regret that she would lose the simple pleasure that doing what she was gave her once that happened.

Annisithhe was going through the simple exercises a newly emerged magic user has to put up with an ease that was nearly scary. She would complete one exercise, eliminate the results, then give her teacher an expectant look and ask. “I see how that works. What next?”

My handmaidens, newly minted as they were all seemed to be better at their specialties than I was at doing the same thing. Okay, I was most definitely NOT a head to head fighter type, so being better than that was easy and kind of no brainer.

Annis was a natural with using magic.

Ilsa was good enough to embarrass a Navy Seal with her abilities in fighting and evasion during said fight.

Janise just KNEW forests and what dwelt in them along with how to deal with all that and avoid getting killed or even hurt while doing so.

Lissara was almost as good an ‘up front, confrontational’ type fighter as Sam was.

Oesethhe was already expert at blending into shadow, other surroundings, moving silently, and was so good at swiping things that I’d already had to order her to give what she’d taken from people back several times.

Sam was the old cliché. A tough, dangerously skilled warrior with brains that he wasn’t afraid to make use of.

Me? I was the generalist. I could do everything the others could — okay without the head on diving into a fight thing — but I was also the healer and leader of the gang. Oh, yeah. I had that Mother/Daughter thing going with Llolth even if I did try to not make use of it as much as possible.

All in all, though, I had to admit that the group that would be travelling to Caet’he Og with me and that meeting with the local Dhro’aaa elders was really very formidable.

Now, if I could just get my handmaidens to realize that they were all very lovely, sexy females and that they (with the exception of Lissara) really should stop teasing all the males they ran into.

The night before we were supposed to leave for Caet’he Og I was walking past Lisarra’s room when I heard a series of thumps, crashes, thuds, moans, yelps and the ripping sound of cloth being torn.

Natrually, idiot that I am at times, I just had to check to make sure my problem child wasn’t dismembering some fool male who had sneaked into her quarters.

The room was a mess, things knocked over, vases broken, furniture overturned…

The really shocking thing was what I saw in the center of the room, on a rumpled carpet that was in the process of getting more rumpled. Only Lisarra wasn’t trying to gut or castrate some unfortunate male.

In fact, the male, very male, elf on top of her was enthusiastically working his hips in a time honored ritual that I’d never thought I’d see Lisarra putting up with let alone seem to be enjoying so much.

She saw me enter, gave me a dreamy little smile and mouthed. “Close the door, please.”

Then went right back to humping with the — as I mentioned before — very male elf who was with her.

“Huh!” I shook my head, left them to their entertainment and closed the door behind me. I even managed to improvise a ‘Do not disturb’ sign to hang on the door.

Lisarra did like the boys. She just liked it rough. Go figure.

Sheesh.

---

 

Well, the first half of the journey to Caet’he Og was pretty uneventful. The middle part, not so much.

We were just minding our own business, moving through the forest, enjoying the scenery, when there was a god awful crashing from the side and I heard a bellowed, “EVIL CREATURES MUST DIE!!!”

“Now what?” I grumbled and waited to see what this world was going to annoy me with next.

I found out in short order. It was a huge guy, with flowing blonde hair, a lantern jaw, burning blue eyes, wearing enough armor to make a lobster jealous and mounted on the biggest horse I’d ever seen.

Well, at least the horse looked embarrassed. While sir Galahad, or whoever he was plucked bits of foliage from his armor while muttering, “Averil, did you absolutely HAVE to choose the most obstructed path to get here?”

Me? I buried my face in both hands and moaned, “Why me?”

Satisfied that the errant foliage was gone the silvery, armored, and very big apparition bellowed. “EVIL MUST PERISH!”

“Oh.” I nodded agreeably, tilted my head and set a hand on one hip while asking. “And you would be?”

“I hight — yes he really did say that — Sir Reginald du… Sorry never can remember the whole damned name, but anyway… I, Sir Reginald, Paladin of Danaan, am here to smite evil!”

“Oh, Dahlia Saaa Llolth.” I nodded and gave him a little wave. “So now what do we do?”

“I — umm — smite you.” He answered a bit uncertainly.

“Oh.” I nodded sagely while cursing any god listening for inflicting THIS on me and gave him a sunny smile. “Well, in that case, if you’re going to do the Smiting me with holy wrath, cursing my name for eternity, sending me screaming back to hell, and chopping me into little bitty, screaming bits, could we get on with it and get that out of the way? I’m kind of busy right now with other things.”

“You should be terrified at the sight of Danaan’s justice!” He roared.

“Look.” I gave him an annoyed glare with both hands on my hips that time. “Get on with it, or forget it. I have somewhere to be and I don’t have time for this right now.”

“Why aren’t you quailing in justified terror at my presence?” He asked.

“You’re serious?” I asked then nodded at the glare that question got me. “Oh, yeah, you are. Look. I’ll give you my address and we could do this later if you don’t mind. I’m not in the mood just now.”

“But… You are supposed to be quivering in the terror of the evil when confronted with the justly powerful good.” He answered, and I could tell he wasn’t all that sure of that statement even if he was trying to be heroic.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t get that particular order.” I answered then gave him an annoyed look. “So what are you going to do here? Whatever it is, PLEASE get on with it.”

That one took him by surprise. He looked at me, then the others with me, who were frantically stifling giggles and chortles, and asked. “You WANT me to smite you?”

“Look Galahad.” I walked up, patted his horse and gave it a sympathetic look before stopping to glare up at him. “I don’t CARE what you do just now. All I want you to do is get it done, so I can stop being annoyed with you and get to where I’m supposed to be. Now hurry it up. You’re keeping me from something important here.”

“You aren’t justifiably terrified of my righteous wrath and holy power?” He questioned.

“Nope.” I even patted the hilt of his holy avenger, or whatever that big honking sword he was carrying was. Though I had to jump up on the back of the horse to do that, and I couldn’t resist. I gave him a little peck on the cheek before I got down. “So what do we do now?”

“You’re supposed to quake then flee in terror.” He answered.

“The fleeing thing I can do.” I answered with a nod. “But if I do that, are you going to keep annoying me?”

“I must harry evil wherever I find it.” He intoned.

“Oh. Okay here’s the deal.” I was trying to be reasonable, honest! “I’ll scream in terror, run away, and you could just kind of chase me the wrong way until I’m long gone and save us both a lot of unpleasantness. Think that would work?”

“But…” He shook his head, evidently not getting the concept of détente at all, “Then I couldn’t smite you.”

“That’s the idea you idiot!” I screamed at him. “I’m in no mood for smiting right now!
Go away!”

He stubbornly refused to do that. So I took a piece of parchment, scribbled something on it and handed it up to him. “There, that’s my Mom’s address. Go there and I guarantee that you’ll have all the smiting your little heart could desire. Now will you please go away and leave me alone?”

“But….”

“Oh, for….” I gritted my teeth and told him. “Come to Kae’song’s citadel later. That’s where I live and we can play all you want then. I. DON’T. HAVE. TIME. FOR. THIS. RIGHT. NOW!!!!!”

“You aren’t playing fair.” He pointed out.

“I’m evil!” I glared at him. “I’m not supposed to play fair!”

“Oh, right.” He nodded and seemed to feel better about things once he had.

“Now.” I shook my head and glared at him. “Either do what you’re going to do, or go away! All right? Is that too much to ask?”

“But I NEED to cow you with my great words of good.” He countered.

If I’d had a wall just then, I’d have been doing my best to destroy it with my forehead. I had to settle for a tree.

“Are you all right?” He questioned as I was doing that.

“No.” I weakly answered. “Can we do this later? Please?”

My friends were no help at all. The only one not rolling on the ground in hysterical laughter had managed to wrap himself around a tree to keep from falling down.

I made a note to get even with Sam for that one.

“It would not be mete for me to kill a wounded enemy.” He finally got some of the few clogged synapses in his brain to work and sighed. “I will find you later, evil one. Then there will be a reckoning.”

“Whatever.” I really wanted a whole bottle of Tylenol just then but was willing to settle for this idiot going to go bother some other unfortunate evil creature. Just as long as it wasn’t me.

“Farewell, for the nonce.” He saluted me, actually saluted me, then turned his mighty charger away and plowed back into the underbrush.

“There is a god.” I sighed in relief once he’d done that.

Fortunately, for what shreds of my sanity were left. Nothing else bothered us on that particular trip.

---

 

We were still a day or so out of Cae’th Og. And of course had to camp at night. Normal people still kind of ran in terror or just passed out, or tried to kill us whenever they saw Sam, me, and now the other two Dhro’aaa in my retinue. So stopping at an inn overnight was kind of asking more than the current situation would bear.

Especially with the others still snickering about my encounter with that half-wit (I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt there) paladin.

Once I really started thinking about it, and remembering, I couldn’t blame them for thinking it was funny. Still, it annoyed me to no end that some idiot in a lobster suit (okay plate mail) had singled me out for smiting and didn’t have the decency to just do it instead of lambasting me with one stupid comment after another. Like words were going to make me melt like the Wicked Witch of the West did when water got spilled on her? Oh, well. Into each life, and all that.

But I sure seemed to be enduring almost constant downpours of that figurative rain lately.

I was staring into the fire, and just drifting pleasantly for awhile. Not worrying about intelligence challenged knight errants, hungry wildlife, or much of anything else, just giving myself some ‘me time’.

The horses were quiet, Sirin was comfortably snuggled at my back and around me, the woods actually felt comfortable, the night was cool but not uncomfortable…

To be honest, no predator, or bandit, in its right mind would have wanted to mess with the bunch I was travelling with. But you never know. Oesetthe was on watch, carefully keeping track of the area around us, and the rest were either sleeping or getting ready to sleep.

And no, I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself there. Okay, maybe a little but not much. All in all, I had a pretty good life here so far. True I hadn’t asked to be female, or the hated, feared, and reluctant daughter of Llolth. But SHE generally left me alone to work out my own problems and handle whatever situation I landed in. And to be honest, I couldn’t fault HER for being an interested mama.

To balance some of the down side, I had a man I truly loved, much to my surprise, some people I was starting to call friends and could actually believe they just might really be that, and a band of faithful followers and companions.

Okay, so life hadn’t turned out all that bad for me so far once I got past being annoyed by the little things. Sam had quietly told me that I was just one of those people who didn’t suffer fools gladly. I did have to admit that I got kind of cranky when people around me were being stubborn idiots, once I thought about things.

Okay, maybe ‘kind of cranky’ is being a little kind in the description on the thing. At least I admitted it to myself, right? Right?

“Daughter.” The voice seemed to come out of nowhere, and it was definitely NOT Lloth’s voice. I looked around, didn’t see anyone, and let out a sigh.

“Please tell me I’m just hallucinating from lack of sleep here.” I muttered and did my best to settle back and get some of that elusive sleep.

Not happening. Dammit.

I took in a deep breath, and whispered to the air in general. “Look, family and knowing them is nice, but I’ve had a really hard day here. Could we introduce ourselves later on? Please?”

HE wasn’t having it.

Why me?

I spent more than a little time looking the place over. Nice, cheery fire in a big stone fireplace, rugs on the clean stone floors, rich tapestries showing hunting scenes, battles, pastoral images…

Not at all like the cave Mom insisted on calling home. Oh, no spiders either.

That was actually kind of refreshing.

Though, much as I hated to admit it, I kind of missed them brushing up against me or rubbing themselves on my legs.

“You are your Mother’s daughter.” The same voice, this time attached to a tall, well muscled, and extremely handsome fellow dressed in simple linen clothing observed. “Always taking in and evaluating your surroundings first.”

“Yeah, well,” I shrugged. “it’s kind of a survival thing, you know.”

He chuckled and poured something from a jug into two ceramic mugs and passed one to me. “Mead. It is made from honey. I think you’ll like it.”

He was right. Kind of sweet for me most of the time, but with all kinds of underlying flavors and hints of other things like smoke, and, and, and…

Did I mention that it also had a kick that would have made an angry mule jealous?

Waving me to a chair he seated himself and looked at me with a smile that really looked proprietary for a few seconds. “Do you know who I am?”

“Nope.” I honestly told him and with his golden hair, shining blue eyes, chiseled features… He reminded me of someone but I wasn’t going there just then. “Not a clue other than a suspicion from what you called me a while ago.”

“I am Danaan.” He answered then gave me a long, uncomfortable looking over. “The father of your present form.”

“I figured.” I carefully sipped at the liquid dynamite in my mug and shook my head. “Don’t be insulted if I don’t jump up, scream ‘Daddy’ and rush over and give you a hug.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Waving off any impending insults he actually chuckled. “Children of gods tend to be a bit on the disrespectful side with their parents, anyway. It is just part of who and what they are after all.”

“Kids.” I nodded. “What can you do with them?”

Danaan laughed at that one and shook his head. “You are as beautiful, and difficult as your mother.”

Ohh, I could already see that family get-togethers were going be really, really interesting. “Is that a good thing?”

“Probably.” He told me with a little chuckle. “You’ll need that fight in your spirit in times to come, Daughter. Cycles are ending, new ones are beginning. Times won’t be easy for anyone, not even, especially not, for the gods.”

“Is this going somewhere?” I asked, not at all shocked by the idea that I was being rather impolite to a real, honest to gawd–well, god. Okay, Llolth was a goddess, but it just didn’t feel quite the same there. And no, don’t expect me to explain that one. I can’t.

“Not really.” He answered with a little grin. “I simply wished to see my newest daughter.”

At that I had a picture of this hunk getting it on with Llolth, okay, with mom. Ewwww. So NOT going there. That is a picture that is burned into my brain and filed with all that other ‘look at it later, if at all’ stuff people tend to have.

“Oh.” I gave him a smile and took another drink of that Mead. Man, that stuff should have shown visible toxic fumes it was so strong. “Well, here I am.”

“Yes you are.” He laughed. “Oh, sorry about your brother earlier.”

“Brother?” I questioned, then got a really bad elevator going down way to fast feeling in my stomach as I remembered who ‘Daddy’ reminded me of. Once that hit, I lowered my head and moaned. “Not Reggie the Moronic Do Gooder?”

“Half brother, actally.” Danaan answered in what he was really trying to make into a soothing tone. “Usually Averil keeps him from being too much of an idiot. He tends to get a bit on the carried away side when his ‘Smite Evil’ urges kick in.”

“No kidding.” I muttered. “I noticed.”

Then I closed my eyes and really tried hard not to believe what I’d just been told. It didn’t work. “My Brother? That idiot is MY BROTHER?!!”

“Can’t choose your family, after all.” Danaan shrugged. “Well, technically as gods, we could, but it’s usually too much trouble with all the haggling with the fates and things.”

“I have a brother, who has to have been dropped on his head a few too many times for anyone’s good, who just happens to think I need to be destroyed.” I gritted my teeth and actually glared at Danaan. “Does that about cover things? Any more siblings I should know about? Daddy?”

“Not right now.” He shrugged and actually managed to appear a little embarrassed. “Reginald is laboring under a curse that was put on him shortly after he was born. Then again, intelligence wasn’t what attracted me to his mother, I have to admit.”

“it’s a soap opera.” I grumbled. “I’ve been dropped into a fantasy version of Desperate Housewives or something here.”

He was silent for a few breaths after that, fortunately. Me? I was beginning to wonder if having a headache was just part of my existence on this crazy world. I could see it now. Me, patron of headaches and PMS. I finally looked up at him, favored the guy with a false smile and a little glare then said. “Well, it’s been nice and all that. But do you think I could go back now?”

“Of course.” He offered me a smile and added. “Keep the mug. It could be useful later on.”

“Thanks.” I managed to get out and then almost choked when I finished with. “Daddy.”

* * * *

Wonderful. At least I was back staring into the campfire.

What a life. Now I knew, just knew, that I’d have gods, goddesses, and demi-gods meddling in my affairs for a long time to come. Oh joy.

Yup. I was doomed.

Grrrrrrr.

---

 

I was still muttering things like ‘Stupid family’, and about a brother I didn’t really want to think about too much by the time we reached the approach to Cae’th Og.

Sam and the others were still amused by our encounter with Sir Reginald the Intelligence Challenged as we finally saw the place from the top of a hill.

It wasn’t a cave entrance. Well so much for stereotyping there, I thought while looking down on the very ordinary appearing keep in the distance. Sam pulled his mount close to mine (for some reason my group had been avoiding close proximity with yours truly since the day before) and quietly told me. “We’re being watched.”

“I know.” Shrugging and just in general tired of all the skullduggery and half brothers, and surprise parents, I answered. “They’ve been shadowing us for the past few hours.

“All right!” I shouted out into the area. “We know you’re out there. We’re impressed with your sneaking skills, and all that crap! Now either show yourselves or I’ll personally come drag your butts out into the open!”

“Umm, dear?” Sam looked around at the sudden appearance of at least twenty Dhro’aaa holding nocked bows and pointing them at us. “That may have not been the best introduction you could have used.”

“I’m not in the mood to care right now.” I grumbled back. “If I’m lucky they’ll just kill me and put me out of my misery. Or at least distract me while they try to do that.”

“I have mentioned that you really need to work on your people skills, right?” He asked while sighing and loosening his swords in their sheaths at his back. “Now quit pouting about your family problems and at least try to look pleasant for the nice Dhro’aaa.”

Nice. Dhro’aaa. Now that combination was a real brain burner. Especially since it seemed I was supposed to do something about that reputation the race, mine, had achieved over the past few millennia.

So I did my best to smile pleasantly, not so good on that one, so I settled for a not-so-threatening glower. “I am Dahlia Saaa Llolth and am expected.”

Okay. I know it wasn’t the usual ‘Hi! Glad to meet you.’ kind of thing. Evidently I’m not one of those gushing, good time girls. So what? I wasn’t really in the mood to even attempt to be bubbly and friendly just then.

One of the former watchers, now out in the open lowered his bow and gave me a very thorough looking over. If it hadn’t been for needing to put a hand on Sam’s arm to keep him from attacking the guy for the obviously appreciating a pretty girl thing, I would have probably smacked him myself. He nodded then gave me a formal bow. “We know who you are. I have been instructed to welcome you to Caet’he Og. Be welcome in our home. Offer no harm and none will be offered to you.”

These formalities were beginning to get a little tedious, but I did manage a smile and nod of my own head in response. “My companions and I will offer no harm so long as none is offered to us.”

“Lady.” He looked over the others then made an expansive gesture with one hand in the direction of the keep. “If you and your companions would follow me?”

By then the guy’s troops had formed up around us, so not following him could have involved a lot of really messy stuff. You know the kind of things with lots of blood and screaming? So I nodded, shook my mount’s reins, and did what he requested. Besides, I was supposed to go into the place wasn’t I? “Of course.”

Didn’t mean I had to be nice to him, did it?

I was still in a mood when we were ushered through the front gates. But on sober thought, maybe being in a ‘mood’ wasn’t such a bad thing just then. Daddy did you set me up for this one?

Of course he had. Meddling deities were just becoming part and parcel of my life. I couldn’t even really get mad at him for it.

The interior of the keep was about what you’d expect. Obvious outbuildings, stables, housing for the help… Though that housing, even for the so called peasants, was built very solidly with well fitted stones and the roofs were tile instead of thatch.

There was a central tower, of course. (Go ahead and moan about clichés all you like. I did.) But as we approached it, then went around the thing, it became clear that even though it served a defensive purpose, it wasn’t where the ruling family was housed. It was more like a medieval shopping mall that had more than one floor.

Nope, the next thing I noticed once we’d gotten around that was the ornate and lovingly carved crenellations and stout looking gate — of metal, not wood — that snugly sat against the hillside at the rear of the compound.

So they really did live in a cave. For some reason that made me feel a little better about things.

The main tunnel leading from those gates was wider than an interstate highway, and very well lit by sconces containing some kind of magical light source. In spite of myself, I had to admit it was impressive. There was also a lot of traffic, coming and going, but all of it stopped dead in our vicinity as we were led down that underground highway.

A song I’d been fond of back home came to mind at that. I did my best to ignore the title of that specific AC/DC song. At least it didn’t feel like I was on a Highway to Hell.

The cavern that led into was stupendous. Not just in size, either. Caet’he Og was a city. And a fairly large one. I could see markets, towers, homes, temples, and right in the center a huge, almost squat edifice that had to be where the local government made its headquarters. Race and place don’t seem to matter with that kind of thing. Government buildings were government buildings no matter with all the other strangeness. And that was obviously where my still unnamed guide was taking us.

“Oh, you have my name, warrior.” I told the guy as I rode up beside him. “I would consider it polite if you were to return the favor.”

“Brac’ea’thimm Saaa Pthoh.” He answered. “Mrrthiss is my sister.”

Oh. Okay, now I could see why he was a little stand offish with me. Dhro’aaa family politics made mine seem simple by comparison.

“Thank you,Brac’ea’thimm Saaa Pthoh.” I answered, evidently surprising him with that courtesy. Hey! I really can be polite if I want to be, you know. “How is your sister?”

“Well enough.” He answered and shook his head. “Better since you healed her.”

“I would have done that a lot sooner if she hadn’t run off the first time.” I answered. Okay, so I was this really nasty and admittedly often bad tempered daughter of a goddess, and a god (and yes, I was past being boggled by things like that), but I could feel bad about some things, right?

“For some reason, I believe you about that.” He answered with a shake of his head. “My sister is headstrong at times.”

“Part of being a girl.” I shrugged.

“I have to agree with you on that one.” He actually let a grin get past that stolid, serious demeanor for a second or two. “Mrrie is often a difficult one to deal with.”

“Friend.” Sam got into the conversation with a smirk. “If you don’t have one yet, just wait till you get a wife.”

Brac — whatever, actually laughed after that one as he looked first at me then at Sam. “I think I can agree with that, friend.”

“Okay.” I whispered to Sam. “Just when did you become that guy’s friend, and when were you going to tell me about it?”

“Figure of speech.” He whispered back, but there was twinkle in his eyes that I thought held way too much mischief.

All that stopped when we dismounted and were led into the council chambers.

Sirrin jumped off my back and growled.

Who knew spiders could growl?

The council chambers was almost like a small arena. There were tiers of seats rising from the floor to almost reach the distant ceiling, and if filled I didn’t even want to think about just how many Dhro’aaa would be concentrated in one place.

But there wasn’t anyone in those tiered seats just then. The large table with a double throne at its head that dominated the center of the floor was a different matter entirely though.

I counted thirty Dhro’aaa seated there, not counting the pair sitting on the double throne. All of them with the exception of one were glaring at me as if I was some alien from a hostile species who had just waltzed in and demanded a meeting.

Well, maybe that wasn’t so far from the truth, once I’d thought about it.

“The Lady Dahlia Saaa Llolth!” Someone standing beside the entrance intoned rather loudly and I just about turned and swatted the gal. Instead I gave her, one of the priestesses I’d seen at Kae’song’s a nod and walked forward until I was standing at the near end of that that table.

I nodded to the gathering, even gave the pair on the throne a bow — okay, I bent at the waist just a little bit, but it counts, doesn’t it? “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”

“It would seem that you lack even the common courtesies, girl.” Someone, from about the middle of the table on my right side answered and I could feel the anger in his voice. “Your arrogance is out of place here and you would do well to show a modicum of humility.”

No one else spoke, so I figured that the guy was some kind of designated spokesman for the gathering. The rest of them simply glared, watched me with some kind of detached malice, or openly tried to cook me with their regard. Talk about a hostile audience.

For probably the first time since I’d arrived on this world, other than the first few days when I was still in shock, I did my best to be polite to someone. “Forgive my lack of manners. Where I come from, one does not, as a rule, appear subservient to others if it isn’t absolutely necessary. Apologies for my lack of social polish.”

I could feel Sam, still back by the entrance, goggling at me. Okay, so I wasn’t known for being all that pleasant to arrogant strangers all that much. But, much to my surprise, being polite didn’t hurt at all. Or at least not all that much.

See? I could do it. At times. And sure, I was polite to Kae’song, Lord Kevin, Lady Alis and a few others back at the citadel. But they’d kind of earned that right once I’d gotten over the first shock and fear of them.

This gathering of Dhro’aaa was nowhere near as well disposed towards me as those three and their retainers had been. I suppose I should have been at least a little afraid, and inside I admit that I did feel that niggling little twinge I identified as fear. But showing that in this place, at this time, would have been a bad thing.

So, I pushed that fear back down to somewhere it couldn’t distract me, at least until later once things had calmed down, stood on the shoulders of my anger and jumped up and down until that behaved and sat down quietly, and gave the gathering my best neutral look.

Wow, this being diplomatic thing was not easy.

“You’re claim of being the goddess’ daughter is a bold one.” The same person told me with a little sneer on his inhumanly handsome face. “One that we find offensive.”

“Believe me, it isn’t an idle claim.” I grimaced. “I wasn’t all that happy about it either when I found out, to be honest.”

Sirrin was still beside me, now as big as my idiot half brothers destrier and stalking between me and the table while emitting little growls and snarls. Oh, something stalking for effect on eight legs was actually kind of impressive.

“Curb your pet, or we will do it for you.” The male at the head of the table spoke for the first time and his voice vibrated with strength. The female seated at his side simply glowed with power waiting to be unleashed.

“Sirrin.” I quietly called and the dire spider returned to my side. Petting her to settle the outrage she felt about being called a mere pet, I looked at the pair on the throne and nodded my head in respect. “My lord, my Lady. Thank you for seeing me.”

“You damaged our daughter.” The woman told me in a tone of voice so chill it could have embarrassed a polar wind.

“Yes, but I also cured her.” I responded.

“Physically.” The woman waved that aside. “The damage I speak of is not physical.”

“She seemed to be fine when she left me last.” I countered.

“She believes your claims, that you are the daughter of our goddess.” I could feel the disbelief, the hostility, the doubt, in her as she told me that. “You’re claims are outrageous, and I for one would have proof from you. I would have it now.”

“What kind of proof?” I questioned. “Isn’t what I did with your daughter’s hand enough?”

She stood, and possessed a regal glory that I didn’t think I would ever match even if I wanted to, which I didn’t, and pointed at me. “Show me that you aren’t a lying renegade or die.”

The spell she threw at me at me was so complex, so powerful, that I didn’t even try to figure it out. All I needed to know was that it would have been a really bad thing to let it hit me. So I sidestepped it.

Only that sidestep was kind of weird. I didn’t just step out of the way, or dive to safety. Oh, no. Could I ever do the simple thing? On this world, evidently not. What I did was move to a somewhere else where I could still see and hear things where I had been, but wasn’t particularly affected by the magic thrown at me that time. Something told me that trick would only work once because someone aware that I could do it would be able to counter it after seeing it, but that same something informed me that I had a lot more tricks like that up my sleeve if they were needed. Sheesh.

Sirrin didn’t dodge. Darkness enveloped her, swirled around her and I just about screamed and reached over to protect her.

Didn’t need to. She ate the stuff. Literally.

By the time I slipped back into reality, such as it was, the spell had been consumed and I was looking at over thirty very shocked Dhro’aaa.

“First things first.” I told them. “Sirrin is not my pet. She is my companion and guardian. Oh by the way, she really doesn’t like being attacked either so I wouldn’t advise trying that again. She gets cranky when she’s upset or hungry and right now she is both of those. Second, if any of you try that with me again, I’ll slap you silly just to take my own frustrations out.

“Questions?” I pleasantly asked.

There were. Lots of them. I did my best to answer all of them without losing my temper. At one point I learned what if felt like to move around on eight legs and see things through more than two eyes. Weird, let me tell you.

Oh yeah, I almost bit the Queen of Caet’he Og when I did that one. Sigh.

Bad tempered in one shape, bad tempered in the other, I guess. Well at least that was consistent.

It took the others at the table awhile to get out of the webs too.

Oh wonderful. Another manifestation of something that was considered ‘divine’ by the Dhro’aaa.

But they were all very polite after that.

---

 

When all that was over with, I returned to my normal(?) form and found that I was still standing on the table. How embarrassing.

Okay, maybe not that bad overall, but one of my feet was planted in a dish that had held some kind of fruit. That was now mush and sticky juice.

Oh, evidently, it had been Sirin doing all of the webbing, because she was still merrily wrapping some very shocked not to mention hapless Dhro’aaa when I turned to check on what she was doing.

“Sirrin.” I called softly while trying to keep myself from laughing at the antics of her victims. “I think that’s enough for now. Let the nice Dhro’aaa figure out a way to get out of your webs, and leave them alone for the moment. But if any of them so much as thinks of doing something hostile, you can eat them.”

She stopped, a bit reluctantly, and moved just far enough away to let her prisoners struggle all they liked while still being close enough to pounce on anyone idiotic enough to offer me hostilities. I reassured her and shrugged for the benefit of the others in the chamber. “It’s okay, Sirin. Given the way things have been going recently, I’m pretty sure you’ll get to eat at least one of these people.

“So don’t be foolish.” I told everyone in general and finally thought I’d insulted the Queen and King enough so turned to look at them with a calm I didn’t think I had much right to have. I even smiled at them.

They glared up at me — I was still standing on the table but I had gotten my foot out that bowl — and made no move to do anything else.

“An oath, a blood oath, was given to me before I agreed to come here.” I told them. “You saw fit to break that, but since you hadn’t given it yourselves or partaken of the blood you’re sure you won’t suffer for that.

“You’re wrong.” I went on with a wicked smile. “Your daughter, all the priestesses who were with her when the blood oath was given are mine now. To do with what I will. Also the Warrior who brought me here gave me his oath. You saw fit to break all of them.”

They both paled, or at least as much as anyone with their dark complexions could, and stared at me.

“I would be perfectly within my rights to demand reparation for your lack of hospitality and treachery.” I grinned at them and shrugged. “But I have to tell you I expected that. Now what shall I demand of you for recompense?”

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was sounding all formal and scary. A girl does what a girl has to do, you know.

“Leave this place and never return.” The queen answered, still hostile and fuming about me almost biting her earlier, I think. Well, to honest, I’d have more than a little upset if someone had done that to me.

“Well, I can’t really do that just yet.” I answered with a shrug while jumping lightly off the table and barely managing to keep from skidding into an undignified heap from the fruit mush that was still on one of my boots. Fortunately, I’d landed on a carpet so that didn’t happen. Wiping my foot on the rug like it was a doormat, I kept watching the pair. “I need to reach some kind of accommodation with all of you here because I refuse to keep looking over my shoulder every time I’m out of the citadel.”

“We make no accomodations with abominations, renegade.” The queen hissed at me while setting up another spell, her husband was reaching for a very unornamental sword as she did.

“I was afraid you were going to be stubborn.” I sighed then with two flicks of a wrist took care of those particular problems. While I removed my pair of throwing knives from the throats of the former rulers of the place and wiped the blades clean on their clothing I heard a bit of commotion from around the room. My companions were making sure no one did anything to irritate me even more, it seemed.

Turning to look at the assembled Dhro’aaa I was inwardly shocked at my own callousness about the whole thing but set that aside until I could have a really good freak out session in private. “Well, as you can see, there are some changes going on here. One of you that isn’t webbed please go get Queen Mrrthiss, would you?”

There were a lot more volunteers for that task than needed (Big surprise there, right?) but Sam sorted them out and actually accompanied the one frightened male allowed to leave the throne chamber. Obviously to make sure he did what I’d asked and nothing more. That’s my man. Oddly, thinking of him that way didn’t bother me at all these days, even the little twinges of ‘But I used to be a man’ had faded in that regard.

“Now I would really prefer to make our future relationship a friendly one.” I told the rest of the gathering then reached over to pet Sirrin, who had moved to my side. It’s really amazing how you can hold a room’s attention when a giant dire spider is standing beside you and purring while you pet it, you know? “But if any of you object to that, I’ll be more than happy to discuss it with you.

“Oh, oops.” I put the pair of throwing knives still in one hand back into their hiding places and gave them all a sheepish little grin. “Forgot I was still holding those. Now if anyone has objections please make them known and we’ll discuss them. Hopefully without more of the icky stuff.

“Bloodshed.” I explained at the blank looks my last statement had caused. I had thought of taking all of their blood oaths, but the idea of drinking that much blood caused my poor stomach to churn with incipient rebellion. Happily a simpler solution was available. I’d just take one from Mrrthiss again, then let her take the ones from the others.

Okay, I’m a real wimp about some things, I admit it. Somewhere in the background of my chaotic thoughts, emotions, and brain I heard soft laughter that just had to be Mother. Sigh.

But I got everything done to my satisfaction. Mrrthiss, the new queen took her oath with me and I made sure it was free of any really glaring loopholes, she took those from the gathered nobles and I noted that those were a whole lot tighter so made a note of that for future use. Well, if problems arose from my lack of experience with that kind of thing, I’d just have to deal with them when they came up.

At any rate, we got out of Cae’th Og alive and to be honest, I was really glad to be heading home. And yes, before anyone starts to snicker, I did consider The Citadel to be home now.

“That went well, overall.” Sam told me as we were riding away from the place.

“Well, maybe so.” I agreed. “At least the locals won’t have to worry about being playthings for the Dhro’aaa if they run across any of them, and we do seem to have allies now.”

“Exactly.” He reached over to gently pat my leg but was interrupted by — yes, I can’t seem to catch a break around here — a loud crashing from the woods and the sounds of a horse whinnying.

I recognized that particular whinny and closed my eyes in resignation. “Why me?”

---

 

I was still keeping my eyes closed and asking Mom, Dad, and whoever — god-wise — was listening why I had to put up with all this crap when the crashing stopped and feminine voice called out. “Hello! I know this is awkward, but Daddy wanted me to meet you!”

“What?” I opened my eyes, lifted my head so I could see things around me, and saw Averil. The charger looked about like he had last time except he didn’t seem at all embarrassed this time around. He gave me a toss of his head that passed for a nod and went back to doing the usual horse things like looking for something to eat or graze on.

“I’m Evangaline.” His current rider, doing it side saddle and garbed in some really elaborate skirts and bodice gave me a sunny smile. “Glad to meet you, sister.”

“Uhh, you, too.” I answered a little slowly while peering into the forest around us. “So is that nutso paladin planning an ambush here?”

“Oh, Reggie is somewhere else right now.” She laughed and then gave me a contrite look. “I really do need to apologize for the way he acted earlier. He’s such a dunce at times.”

“Okay.” I answered and looked at her, really looked for the first time. She was beautiful, perfectly oval face, eyes set to compliment the rest, mouth that could give a man joys he never expected, and with a shape that would have most exotic dancers jealous. “So just who, exactly, are you, and why are you riding Averil?”

“Long story.” She answered with a shrug.

“I seem to have some time here.” I said while dismounting and waving to the others in my party to do that, too. “So let us make camp and you can tell me all about it. I am way too familiar with long complicated stories. Will you join us?”

Evangaline nodded with a smile that wasn’t all that confident and fastidiously used a cloth to brush off the fallen log she decided to sit on. “Why not? You and I are going to be seeing a lot of each other in the future, so we may as well get used to each other now.”

“Right.” I nodded and looked at the charger. Averil was quite happily munching some clover he’d found, and put my attention back to the girl. “So would you like to tell me why you’re riding Averil and Reggie isn’t around?”

“It’s complicated.” She answered.

“Like anything in my life isn’t right now?” I grimaced. “I can deal with complicated. Just tell me, okay?”

“Well…” She let out a breath and started. “Reginald isn’t here just now because I am.”

“You two don’t get along, or what?” I asked.

“Oh, we wouldn’t.” She told me then lowered her head and closed her eyes for a moment. “If we were different people.”

“What?” I was getting the idea here. Curse, a sister of the idiot Knight riding his horse, who said they weren’t around at the same time…

“Weellll,” she grimaced, “Reggie wasn’t always the blustering idiot you met. Once he was a pretty good guy, smart, reasonable, and all that. Then he ran into a witch named Circeee and she fought him to a standstill. Instead of just killing him, or turning him into some farmyard animal, she decided he should find his feminine side.

“That’s when I showed up.” Evangaline blushed and gave me a sad look. “I got the brains and empathy, Reginald was left with the strength, purpose, and not much else.

“We swap every full moon.” She told me. “Sorry about how our brother was with you earlier. He has no conception of good sense. Dad gave us Averil to watch over him when he’s out and about.”

Averil, hearing his name, looked up from the nice patch of clover he’d found and nodded in what I knew had to be agreement.

“So you are basically the same person Reggie is, just with all the smarts and diplomacy.” I had to close my eyes for a minute there to let my senses catch up with all that. “And you both trade places every month. Does that about cover things?”

“That about covers it.” She agreed with a grin. “But I’m nowhere near as hidebound and determined as our brother is. I’m actually a sorceress, and we tend to kind of ignore rules off and on if what we do works.”

“I can believe that.” I had to shake my head. “I believe you, but is your alter ego going to try and ‘smite’ me next time he comes out?”

“Probably not.” Evangaline shrugged. “He’s with Daddy right now and is probably getting a good ration of shit over your first meeting.”

Okay, the story is outrageous. But look at what happened to me and Sam. Plus, I undeniably have a goddess for a mother in this world, and evidently a god for a father. Like I’m going to tell anyone their story is crazy? Nope. Not going to happen. Plus, she was riding the same horse, who knew me and all that. Crap. Is this world ever going to get to where it seems normal? And if it does will I still be sane enough to notice?

“Oh.” I said after her last statement. “Dad was nice to me when I met him.”

“Guys adore their little girls.” Evangaline grinned. “What else can I say?”

“Good point.” I had to give her that having seen otherwise very grounded males giving in to ridiculous requests from their daughters in the past. “Now what?”

“It’s getting dark, everyone is dismounted, the Dhro’aaa aren’t going to bother you and yours, so make camp, build a fire, have dinner, and get some sleep.” She answered.

“Good idea.” I agreed and waved to my companions to get that done. “You know, I kind of like you already. But if Reggie shows up and tries to ‘smite’ me again, I may not forgive you for that.”

“He won’t.” She assured me with a grin. “I am him in a way, and I like you. Just be careful about where you point him when he’s around and you’ll both do fine.”

“Yeah, right.” I sighed, and retreated to the area Sam had set up for us.

Evangaline just smirked and turned back to the fire.

Oh, she vamped my girls, too. I had the impression she would enthusiastically go both ways in that regard, and Sam was MINE. So she had to work on the girls there.

“This place just keeps getting stranger and stranger then it goes on a sudden left turn and moves into just plain weird.” I grumbled to Sam once we had settled into our little corner of the campsite and I’d released Sirrin to feed and perform guard duty.

“I heard.” He chuckled then let out a sigh while pulling me against his chest. “I think you better get used to having oddball relatives, Dahlia my darling. With your parents in this world I don’t think any of your siblings, aunts, uncles or whatever are going to be close to what even the people here think of as normal.”

“You really do know how to make a girl feel better about things, you know that?” I sarcastically said while snuggling into his warmth. “But again, you’re most likely right. The most normal one I’ve met so far insists that I call him Daddy, after all.”

“At least most of them haven’t actively tried to kill you yet.” He grinned while adding. “Except for Reginald the Mentally Challenged and now we know there is a reason for that. If you believe Evangaline, that is.”

“Oh, I believe her.” I answered tiredly. “Averil, that charger is something special and wouldn’t let just anyone mount, let alone ride him. From what I’ve seen of him so far it leads me at times into thinking he’s smarter than I am.”

“Look on the bright side of things here.” He said. “You’ve at least solved our problems with the local Dhro’aaa, and some of the humans around here don’t run from us or try to fight us on sight.”

“Two whole villages.” I grumbled. “That town I first went to still has wanted posters out on me and the authorities there are offering a pretty decent reward for anyone delivering me, preferable dead, to them.”

“One thing at a time, love.” He soothed.

“I guess so.” I grinned. “Given everything that’s happened to us so far, I guess we haven’t done all that bad, have we?”

“Nope, not bad at all.”

“I’ll take what I can get for now,” I muttered, “and work towards the really complicated stuff as it comes up, I guess.”

After that we settled down for some badly needed sleep.

What is it about this world that makes sure I never get a decent night’s sleep?

I was awakened by Evangaline shouting, “AWAKE! We are under attack!”

The was a shrilling that I automatically knew was Sirrin’s battle cry, while Ilsa and Lissara added their voices to the mayhem.

Sam was up, in his armor, with weapons drawn by the time I managed to take in the chaos around us. All my girls were up, armed and fighting. Evangaline was dodging, throwing spells and making things difficult for our attackers. Averil picked and chose, bumping into his targets, then finishing them with a sharp shoed hoof, and it was clear that we were outnumbered in this fracas.

By then I had my short sword out and a throwing dagger in my off hand. Which was probably a good thing given what happened next.

Two armored, and very big guys came at me from left and right. One of them bellowed. “Die Hell Spawn!”

Why do people waste their breath in a fight by talking to their opponents? I never have figured that one out. My throwing dagger found one’s throat and I shifted to the side as the other’s sword (a really big one, by the way) whooshed through the spot I’d been in. I got that one taken care of while he was recovering his balance by simply inserting my own (smaller, but very sharp) blade between his ribs and twisting it around to do as much damage I could in a short time.

Sam, bless him, took out the one coming up from behind me and then dispatched two more who were within his reach.

I returned the favor with a throwing knife that lodged into the right eye of another guy trying to take Sam from behind.

It was all over with in less time than I just spent telling about it, and no, I am NOT going to describe any more of that mess. Other than to say it was loud, frantic, and generally passed in a blur.

Once we were all sure it was over with, the survivors of the attack were either running for their lives, or were disarmed and tied up in the center of our camp, I retrieved my throwing knives, checked to make sure no one on my side was seriously injured, and approached our prisoners while shaking my head.

“All right.” I glared at them and asked as nicely as I was able. “Just what the Hell was this about? You obviously aren’t bandits, you’re too well equipped and your weapons are similar enough that they must be general issue kinds of things.”

They only glared at me in response.

“look, guys.” I sat down and gave Sirrin, who was watching things closely, a pat. “I’ve had a tough few days here which you and your friends haven’t helped at all. So is it the bounty on my head? Did someone send you to disturb my beauty sleep? What? If I don’t start getting answers, I’m going to have to work on prying them out of you, and you won’t like that at all. Trust me.”

I didn’t mention that I wouldn’t like it much, either. But saying something like that would have been kind of counterproductive under the circumstances.

“The Temple Elders sent us to kill you.” One of them finally answered.

“Progress!” I nodded then asked. “Which temple?”

“The Temple of Jupiter in Irris.” The man answered me as if I was an idiot while reverently touching the lightning bolt insignia on his tunic. “Everyone knows of The Temple.”

“Right.” I was getting another bad feeling about all this, but beat that one back down to join the others in the corral until I had time to really look at them. “Let’s just say that I’m new around here, and leave it at that for now.

“So, why exactly, are your temple elders so set on having me dead?” I questioned. “I haven’t done anything to offend them have I?”

“Your existence offends all that is good and right, daughter of Llolth.” He shot back.

“Oh, well now that we’ve cleared that part of things up,” I shook my head and grinned. “I think I’ll send you guys home with a message, if you’ll deliver it for me?”

From the collective looks of surprise I got from that one, I figured they’d expected me skin them alive or order someone else to do something equally messy and disgusting to them.

“Well?” I stood up and was showing obvious impatience as they tried to assimilate the idea that I wasn’t going to painfully kill them out of hand.

“Message?” Their spokesman questioned carefully.

“Words, on paper if you need that.” I answered. “No heads in a basket, or soldier’s skins flapping in the breeze. All I want you tell your leaders is that things are changing and if I have to fight them, I will, but am not diametrically opposed to them at the moment. Even if this evening has kind of put them on my bad side for the time being.

“So will you deliver that for me?” I smiled at them and they all cringed back but nodded vigorously. I guess that being faced with a nasty, messy, slow death only to discover that you could get out of it by running home with a note for mommy or daddy wasn’t something they’d quite expected.

“We will do that.” The only one who had spoken answered.

“One more thing.” I thoughtfully added. “Tell them if they send more troops to kill me that I will be sending back heads and other unpleasant things. Think you can do that?”

“Yes, I can do that.”

“Good.” I nodded. “Oh, if you or your friends try to attack us again, once I let you go, you should know that I will come up with some very unpleasant things to do to you, all of you, in response. Got that?”

“Of course, you have my word that we will not renew the attack on you and your party.”

“Not to mention that most of you are already dead, right?” I gave him a nasty grin and nodded to Osethhe who had been hovering in their area with a drawn dagger. “Cut them loose, Setthe. You know what to do if they get belligerent once that happens.”

Once the survivors had gone we got together and pieced enough information into a coherent whole to decide there had been about thirty of them in the initial attack. We’d counted twenty dead, and had captured five. Which left five of them unaccounted for but all of us decided those were still either running or hiding.

Nevertheless, we packed up and started our journey back to the Citadel early.

And now I had another god, or his representatives, trying to kill me.

Why, oh why, couldn’t I have a simple, boring life? I suppose that’s just too much to ask.

Grrrrr.

---

 

“Well, that was exciting.” Evangaline grinned as we neared the Citadel. “I've never been through a sneak attack in the dark.”

“Glad you enjoyed it.” I answered in more of a grumble than a real conversational voice. “Nothing better than a night attack to get the old blood flowing, is there?”

“Well..., she grinned. “There are some things that are better.”

“I am so not going there, Evangaline.” I said with what could have been a blush.

She looked at me, then at Sam, nodded, and laughed. “I see you've already discovered that, sis. Don't be so embarrassed about it. It's just simple life and getting along with it is all. We all have our needs, after all.”

“I know.” I gave her a tentative grin back then had to ask. “If you've done that with a man, what does Reginald think of it?”

“Oh, he usually wants to beat on them for taking advantage of his 'sister' but I manage to keep him from that excess.” She answered with a twinkle in her eye. “Though he is kind of adamant that what happens between me and a man is between the man and me while he has nothing at all to do with it.”

“Maybe the guy is brighter than I first thought.” I mused aloud.

“Oh, Reggie isn't exactly stupid, dear.” Evangaline shrugged. “It's the curse thing. His brain tends to go into shutdown at times. He really finds that embarrassing, by the way.”

“I think I can understand that.” I nodded. “So he knows he's being an idiot but can't stop himself when he does things like when he tried to — umm — smite me?”

“Pretty much.” She let out a sigh. “Daddy has promised to give me my own body once we work through the curse, by the way, so I don't have to share one with Reggie. But you know how things like that work. He can't do it just now because of the way the curse was worded.”

“Just how was it worded?” I asked.

“Ahh, that's the problem here.” Evangaline frowned. “Only Reggie knows for certain, and he can't do the remembering thing all that well right now.”

“Nasty.” I told her with a little shudder.

“Oh yes.” She shrugged. “But little by little, I'm getting into what he remembers, so in time we'll work it out.”

“I hope so.”

We actually made it back to the Citadel without any more distractions.

Okay, once in a while the gods do give me a break. I'll freely admit that one. From what Evangaline could tell me about the Temple of Jupiter in Irris, I'd half expected to be fighting off a horde of temple warriors just to get home. That bunch was well organized and there were a lot of them.

Who, at the moment, seemed determined to kill yours truly. Oh joy.

“So.” I questioned Kae'song and Lord Kevin once I'd filled them in on the recent happenings. “Am I going to have to expect surprise night attacks and ambushes from these bozos from now on?”

“You would do well to be on your guard, Dahlia.” Kevin answered with a shrug. “The Temple of Jupiter pretty well rules Irris, which is one of the larger cities in the world. I don't think the message you sent them will stop them from trying to kill you.”

“Oh, great.” I glared at nothing in particular and both Kevin and Kae'song pulled back a bit from where they'd been.

“Oh, for crying out loud, guys!” I told them once I'd noticed that. “You two are my friends, I think. I don't hurt friends on purpose, so stop looking so, so — whatever it is you're looking like right now. Is this Temple powerful enough to come after me while I'm here in the Citadel?”

“Probably.” Kae'song answered with a shrug and Kevin just nodded.

“So what now?” I questioned. “I can leave and save you the grief.”

“That wouldn't work, Dahlia.” Kevin answered slowly. “The Temple Elders know you think of this place as home, and also who have befriended you. Moving from here would simply give them more places to attack and tell people they were justified in doing so.”

“And that means what?” I asked, genuinely puzzled for the moment.

“We chose you, Lady.” Kae'song answered quietly. “Lord Kevin, Lady Alis, myself, and others chose you to be the agent of change that is needed for this world. We will not back out of that choice.”

“None of us will.” Kevin affirmed then shrugged with a little grin. “I always did think those damned Temple troops were overrated. Now I may be able to find out if they really are.”

“You two are talking about a war, if I catch this right.” I looked at them and shook my head. “I won't be the cause of a war. I'm not here to kill people, or make them suffer, that much I know.”

“You aren't the cause, dear lady.” Kevin gave me a reassuring smile. “This has been brewing for a long time. To use an alchemist's analogy here, you are simply the catalyst, it isn't your fault or anyone's plan, it just happened.”

“You two and others conspired to bring me here.” I countered. “I know you protest about the me being a female thing being unexpected and all that, but the point is still that this wasn't an accident. I know that much about how things work here at least.”

“No, Dahlia, it wasn't an accident.” Kae'song answered slowly and with a rueful smile. “Your Mother and Father and other gods orchestrated it. It is time for change, they all know that. Better, in their opinions, to be the start of the change than victims of it.”

“Oh, that's just great!” I shouted at them. “So what am I supposed to do now? I'm not a damned general, leader of troops, strategist or tactician. What am I supposed to do?”

“Continue with your given purpose.” Kevin told me, not at all disturbed by my outburst. “Bring change to the Dhro'aaa. We will handle the other battles until you achieve that.”

“But people, a lot of people, are going to die because of me.” I protested.

“Those would have died anyway.” Kevin countered. “This war has been building for a long time. The Temple of Jupiter has wanted to rule this world for far longer than your civilization has existed on your home world, Dahlia. It's adherents have been trying for many generations here and so far have failed. There is no reason to think they will succeed now. This fracas is simply another in the many they have precipitated. It is not, and never will be 'your' fault.”

“Continue with your own quest, Dahlia.” Kae'song added. “We've fought the Temple many times before this and will likely be fighting them far into the future. You do your part to maintain the balance, we will do ours.”

“But isn't Jupiter Good, and standing for law?” I asked.

“Yes.” Kevin nodded then shrugged. “But unbounded good can be harmful too. Picture a bunch of old ladies so bound to do good that they don't care who gets hurt to get it done.”

“And Law without understanding, compassion,” Kae'song continued, “is tyranny.”

“I need to go think about all this.” I told them.

“Yes you do, dear.” Alis entered the room and gave me a hug. “You have far too much to think about, to worry about, for one so young, but like it or not, it has fallen to you. Go. Think, get roaring drunk, have your way with your husband. But consider this through all that.

“We chose you, with your Mother's help, because of the strength of your soul, your spirit.” She let me out of the hug but still held me by the shoulders and looked me right in the eye. “You are our hope, the world's hope, but you have to do what needs to be done in your own way. We can't tell you, or show you how to do that. Neither can the gods. In the way your people say things, you are the wild card in this very dangerous game. But don't try to control things, just do what you have to do as you have to do it.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.” I grumbled.

“See?” Alis actually laughed and looked to the others. “I told you she would not be overawed.”

“How can I be even awed if I don't get the whole thing in the first place?” I shot back.

“It doesn't matter, dear.” Alis told me with a little smile. “You didn't try and crawl into the nearest hole once you'd heard all this. You don't need to 'get it' to do what you must.”

I didn't answer that one, or any other questions they threw at me. I just wanted to get back to the relative sanity of my own chambers and a decent nights sleep for a change.

A decent nights sleep.

I guess I wasn't supposed to get one of those. Dammit.

Sam had done really nice things with me once I got back to our chambers. And no, I'm still not going to describe them. Girl needs some privacy, you know.

The afterglow was really nice. Then I fell asleep.

Crap.

“Daughter.” A very familiar voice interrupted that blissful loss of awareness.

“Hi Mom.” I answered, not even trying to protest the fact that Llolth was my mother in this world. I also gave the spiders rubbing against me pats and pets while I looked up to see the dreaded goddess watching me from her throne.

“I see you aren't protesting that fact any longer.” She smirked.

“Kind of pointless right now, isn't it?” I questioned while rubbing one spider's belly. The critter had actually come up to me then went on it's back as if expecting that like a cat would. “I know where I came from and not from that other world, so yes, you're Mom. What can I say? Oh, I met Dad the other day, too.”

“I know.” Llolth nodded and smiled. “Did you like him?”

“What's not to like?” I asked. “He was pleasant, not overbearing, and he actually talked to me.”

“Danaan is good with his children.” She nodded. “Did he give you anything?”

“Well, yeah.” I was still tickling that spider's tummy but managed to look a little embarrassed. “He gave me a pottery cup.”

“Then he truly loves you, daughter.” She answered.

“What good is an uneven, poorly fired, pottery cup?” I asked.

“You'll find out out about that in time, dear one.” She told me. “But it is a very precious gift. Don't lose it.”

“Is this whole world, and it's gods, insane?” I glared at her. “I just learned that Jupiter wants me dead, by the way.”

“Oh, that.” She waved it away as if it meant nothing. “He wanted to be your father. He is rather spiteful when he doesn't get his way. Don't worry about it.”

I suddenly had this image of Llolth, my mother in this world, as being one hot mamma that the male gods all lusted after. Let me tell you, that didn't help my frame of mind at all.

“I won't go there.” I told her and shook my head. “My question is what can I do about it?”

“You have allies and friends to take care of the mundane things, dear.” She answered. “You did well at Caet'he Og. You have to get other enclaves of our people on your side. That will be the deciding factor in all this. Continue what you are doing now.”

“Oh, thanks.” I grumbled.

“Your father wishes to speak with you now, love.” Llolth told me and with a wave from her, I was somewhere else. I really hate it when that happens, you know?

“Dahlia.” A voice I'd heard before greeted me and actually sounded happy to see me.

This time the surroundings weren't a simple cottage with a nice fireplace. Oh no. This place was a very opulent throne room and the being who had greeted me was seated on a throne that appeared to be made of golden sea mist.

By then I'd given up protesting all the improbabilities and looked at the fellow on the throne and actually smiled. “Hi. I guess I should be calling you dad, but don't be insulted if I don't fall down and hurt my head by beating it on the floor.”

“Wouldn't be you if you did that.” He acknowledged and actually grinned at me. “Welcome to my hall, daughter.”

“Thanks.” I answered, wondering when the men in white coats would show up with a 'nice, form fitting' jacket for me. “Did you want to see me for something in particular?

“Only to warn you about your uncle.” He told me.

“Uncle?”

“Jupiter.” He told me. “My brother.”

“I know, he wants me dead.” I told him. “I found that out already.”

“Your mundane allies can handle his worldly troops and whatever magics they bring.” Danaan nodded. You need to be aware of the immortal things he can throw at you and be ready for them.”

“Ahh, I see.” I closed my eyes, opened them, and glared at him. “No I don't! I suppose it would be too much to ask if you have any information that could help with that?”

“Not much.” He admitted, then grinned. “But I have sent you allies who can counter divine attacks.”

“Evangaline.” I nodded.

“Yes, my beloved daughter Evangaline.” He agreed then waved to one of the tapestries on the walls to his right. “But someone else as well.”

And who walked out from behind that tapestry? Well it wasn't 'The surprise star of the evening' that a lot of talk shows do. Oh no. It was Reginald.

I was looking for places to hide or at least use for cover when the idiot knight blew what was left of my mind into little bitty pieces.

“Peace, sister.” He told me. “I will not, ever, offer you harm. My word on it in our Father's presence.”

“Really?” I looked at him with narrowed eyes and absolute disbelief in my expression.

“My earthly form isn't all that bright.” He actually looked embarrassed. “But when I am back there I will be your staunchest defender, sister.”

I looked at him, then at Danaan, sighed, sat down and muttered. “I know me saying 'I don't believe this' isn't such an unusual thing for me lately, given some of the things that have happened. But thank you for small favors. I think.”

Then Reginald just about drove me insane. He walked up to me, looked at me, and hugged me.

Gah!

Well, I guess I had enough enemies as it was.

I hugged him back.

So what would you have done?

I'm telling you, if the 'normal' stuff didn't drive me insane, my family on this world was going to.

Sheesh.

---

 

Well, in spite of the distractions and annoyances, I was home and it felt good. Oh, before you say anything, yes, I considered Kae'song's Citadel to be home. Don't give me grief over that, I've had enough of that recently, okay?

Besides, I'm not in the best of moods and you probably wouldn't like what I did if you did try to give me grief about that. You've been warned. Even if I would feel bad about it after the fact.

Marisol greeted me with a smile and curtsey. “Welcome back, Lady. It's good to see you. How was your journey?”

“Interesting.” I answered then waved her questions aside. “Don't ask, please.”

Evangaline smirked and Sam diplomatically found something else to watch just then. “Oh, I see, m'lady.” Marisol nodded then looked at Evangaline significantly.

“This is my sister Evangaline.” I told her with a sigh as I almost collapsed onto a couch with a sigh of pleasure. “She is going to be around off and on, so give her the same courtesies you would me or Sam. Evngaline, this is Marisol, one of my maids. I'll let her introduce you to the others. Right now I want a hot bath, some wine, and a nice quiet meal.”

Sam smirked at me and mouthed. “You are such a girl.”

I grimaced and gave him the time honored one fingered salute, to which he nodded and grinned.

It just wasn't the same doing that to your husband as it had been when when we were friends. Sigh.
Not to mention that we'd both been guys back then. I was still working on getting my head around all that, but had almost decided it wasn't worth the bother. I loved Sam, he loved me, we worked well together both personally and in other situations... Why fuss about something that obviously worked and often felt so good when it was working?

“Your bath is ready, m'lady.” Marisol answered simply then looked to Evangaline with a curious lift of one eybrow. “Will your — sister — be joining you?”

“Why not? And she's actually my half sister. Don't ask, please.” I waved Evangaline over and gave her a questioning look. One she answered with a grin and nod. “I hope it's hot and sudsy.”

“We know what you prefer, m'lady.” Marisol answered almost smugly.

“You are gorgeous!” Evangaline admired me once I'd stripped to get into the bath.

“Yeah, yeah.” I waved that off with a blush. “Thanks and all that, but my mother is a goddess and my father is a god, what did you expect out of something like that?”

“I think Aphrodite is going to be jealous.” She answered as she removed her own clothing and I got a good look at her body in all it's glory.

“You might want to worry about that, too.” I pointed out. I mean the girl had a body that was perfectly proportioned with all the right curves and indentations, which combined with her delicately featured but strong face and wealth of blonde hair just seemed designed to make other women scream “I hate this girl!”

“Daddy is a god after all, and my mother was an uncommon beauty among humans.” She shrugged. “I can't help it any more than you can, after all.”

“Point taken.” I nodded and settled into the nicely hot, sudsy, and scented bath with a sigh. “Come on in, the water is wonderful.”

“Ohhh,” She let out a little groan of pleasure as she joined me in the huge tub. “This is sooo much better than woodland springs.”

“I would think those would be kind of chilly.” I nodded as I settled deeper into the wonderfully comfortable tub.

“Yes, but the upswelling of water does nice things, too.” She smirked while making motions towards her crotch and breasts with a grin.

“I'll take your word for it.” I answered and settled in for a nice long soak before I even started thinking about scrubbing things anywhere on my person. Or what she had been implying.

Several hours later, soaked, scrubbed, washed, shampooed, gently dried, oiled and powdered, Evangaline and I emerged from the bathing chamber clad in comfortable silk robes and slippers with very contented expressions on our faces.

“Thought you two would look like prunes by now.” Sam greeted us with a grin to show he was teasing. He had obviously bathed and taken advantage of more comfortable clothing,too, given the short robe and sandals he was wearing. “Dinner is ready, by the way.”

The meal was wonderful, and wine after, ale for Sam flowed in large quantities. I know I literally dragged a half conscious Sam into our bed chamber and did things that brought him back to full attention in more than one way after we'd had our fill.

I think Evangaline went out and took advantage of several unsuspecting guardsmen who were lucky enough to be off duty just then.

All in all that was a good evening and night.

And it was about damned time, too. After all, I deserved a break of some kind by then didn't I?

Through some miracle, or dare I say this? Thanks to Mom and Dad, I actually had a nice restful sleep that night. Following another, but quicker bath that morning, I emerged from my bed chambers in an almost decent gown — okay, so it was cut to really show off my figure, and the neckline barely had a claim to existence at all — I found everyone but Sam, who was still contentedly sleeping gathered in my living, oops, receiving room.

Evangaline gave me a lazily pleased little grin, while my other girls, minions, whatever they were, all exhibited the same — umm --- satisfied expressions. Even Lisarra had that particular look. I just shook my head and didn't really try to think about what they'd all been up to the previous night. Probably a lot like what I'd done with Sam.

My girls were getting into their, well, girl roles very well, it seemed.

Evangaline — my half sister — gave Evangaline my maid, a little smirk and started things off. “Hi sis. I found that one of your very competent maids has the same name as I do.”

“Yeah.” I grimaced at that one and let out a sigh. “I'm going to need to call one of you something different. I don't want both of you running to see what's going on every time I call your names. Or resort to something idiotic like 'Evangline 1 and Evangaline 2.”

“Easily solved.” My sister grinned. “Since Evangaline over there has precedence of place here in time spent and everyone else around her calls her by that name, just call me Vangie. I don't mind.”

“Oh, that works, I suppose.” I silently thanked whatever, whoever, was watching things just then for not exercising their sense of humor over the whole thing and gave my half-sister a smile. “Thanks, Vangie.”

“Well, that's what Daddy usually calls me anyway.” She shrugged then got an impish look on her beautiful face. “Unless I'm in trouble over something, then I tend to hear all my names shouted at once. Not necessarily in the proper order, mind you, but you get the idea.”

“I guess even gods can get exasperated.” I answered with a little grin while hoping that didn't happen to me. I knew it was a vain hope, but you know how that goes. Kids get into trouble. Parent's yell at them for it at first. Actually the idea of hearing Mother (Llolth) screaming out all the names I had — not all of which I was sure I knew by then, by the way — actually had me laughing. “I'll bet things get interesting whenever that happens.”

“Oh yes.” Ev — Vangie nodded and chuckled. “But I'm cute, and know how to use it. Daddy never stays mad at me for long.”

I decided to let that one pass and just nodded before giving my maids an expectant look.

“Breakfast is ready, m'lady.” Marisol smiled and waved to the table in the center of the room. “Should you or your friends and sister require something besides tea, juices and caff, we will get them for you.”

I gave my sister, and my girls a warning look and nodded to Marisol. “That will be sufficient, thanks.”

Caff on this world is kind of weird. It's like coffee but not. The flavor is different, sharper and more citrus like, but it's ground from beans and is served hot most of the time. I've had caff served cold on purpose and for me it's just as nasty as cold coffee was back where I came from. But it did about the same thing. It woke you up, and if strong enough, I swore it could wake up a zombie.

Speaking of which...

Once we'd started on the meal, fruits, grain dishes served with milk, sugars and more fruit as toppings — seems none of us were that fond of meat any longer, at least not for breakfast — a disheveled Sam emerged from our bedchamber, grabbed a carafe of steaming caff and headed for the bath with a muttered. “Morning.”

“He never was good for anything just when he wakes up.” I sighed and fondly watched him enter the bathing room while waving off any offered help from our maids. “Unless there is something really important to do right away.”

My maids and girls, okay minions, already knew Sam and his morning quirks well enough to have diplomatically ignored him until he was awake enough to really carry on a coherent conversation. Vangie just smirked and nodded in understanding as she said. “Men. Gotta have them around for our own sanity most of the time and often as not they do prove to be amusing.”

This from the girl who spent half her life as a guy. I just nodded my head and did my best to not think about the weirdness of her curse even if my own life was filled to overflowing with weird stuff.

At least I didn't change sex every month or so. Nope, once was more than enough for yours truly, believe me.

So I cut her some slack there.

Once we'd finsished breakfast I got down to business. I'd written a letter for Mrrthiss and needed someone to deliver it. "Annisathhhe, Oesetthe, I need you take a message to Caeth'Og. I know we just got back and all that, but this is pretty important. I think we need to warn them about the things that happened on our way back and what the Temple of Jupiter in Irris is doing. The message tells all about that and also has orders for Queen Mrrthiss to send messengers to the other nearest Dhro'aaa enclaves with a request that they meet with me about all this.”

“You're ordering a queen to do things?” Vangie gave me a long look then nodded. “Well, you are at least a demi-goddess, so I guess that works all right.”

“She also owes me.” I pointed out, choosing to ignore the demi-goddess thing at the moment. That was territory I sooo didn't want to tread at the moment. I mean I was still, kind of, working my head around being just female and an elf, even if it was a weird kind of elf that most decent people would try to kill on sight. “And sending two of my Dhro'aaa minions with the message will show her I'm serious about this. Plus avoid the problems a non-Dhro'aaa messenger might encounter once they've arrived there.”

“Good thinking.” My half-sister nodded, then added. “But a magic user and an — umm — thiefy type out alone given what has happened recently might not be such a fine idea, you know?”

Thiefy type. So that was what passed for diplomatic with my new found sister. That one I just had to remember for another time, though I had to work to keep from losing it and laughing my butt off when I heard her say that. Oesetthe was an assassin, pure and simple. Thiefy Type!

“Kae'Song has already detailed some soldiers to go with them.” I assured my sister, and the two who would be carrying the message. Oesetthe actually looked disappointed at that. I think she was looking forward to practicing her sneaking and skulking on the way. I soothed her by saying. “Don't worry Setthe, I'm sure you can practice all you want on the soldiers accompanying you and Annis on this one. Just don't scare the poor guys to death or hurt them while you're doing it.”

That perked Setthe right up again and she nodded happily. Annisathhhe just rolled her eyes and sighed in resignation. But there was a twinkle of amusement in her ice blue eyes even then.

I really needed to talk with Mama about just what, and how, she she had done what she did to my minions. They were having an easier time with the changes they'd gone through than I'd ever dreamed of having. Yup, one long mother- daughter conversation was on the horizon there.

Once that was all taken care of, Evangaline — Vangie, and I wandered out to one of the balconies to talk for awhile. I mean it isn't everyday you find a sister you never knew you had, right? And we had a rather obnoxious, even if he laboring under a curse, and kind of stupid brother to talk about.

“So who put the curse on Reggie?” I asked again. “And could we maybe find her and get her to at least tell us what she did?”

“Circe.” Vangie answered then shuddered. “Talking with her about the curse? No, I don't think I'd want to converse with her in cow, sheep, or pig. She was really pretty nice to Reggie all things considered given some of the things she could have done to him. We just need to give things time and between him and me, we'll remember the right wording and get it straighted out.

“Asking Circe for that is a not happening kind of thing, trust me.”

“Just a thought.” I shrugged. “It is kind of embarrassing when your own brother is determined to — umm — smite you, you know.”

“Ahh, that's not so unusual given our family and the circles they and we tend to hang out in.” Vangie soothed me then grinned. “Besides, Reggie doesn't really want to 'smite' you. He's just going through the motions to satisfy the curse and make himself look like a complete idiot. It's hard on him, really.”

“Whatever you say.” I nodded and then a feeling I was getting really too well acquainted with came over me. “Uh oh.”

“Someone is calling us.” Vangie nodded with the same expression I was sure covered my own face. Dread and a bit of anger. “Do you recognize who it is? I'm only familiar with Daddy.”

“Nope.” I grimaced while trying to fight the calling. “It's not Mom, and I haven't visited anyone but her and dad so far.”

“Oh, this is not....

“Good.” She finished once we'd been pulled to wherever the place was the person calling wanted us to be.

I looked around and had to agree with her. Our surroundings were kind of — Greeky. Well, you know what I mean, all the columns, open spaces, statues, and sylvan surroundings. I agreed with her. “Nope, I don't think this is good at all.”

“Ahh!” A booming voice interrupted anything else we might have said to each other. “The youngest daugters of Dannan, and Llotlh's favored child finally grace my abode.”

“Don't, please don't, tell me this is who I think it is.” I lowered my head and bit my tongue to keep any smart assed responses from escaping without me planning on them doing it.

“Welcome to my Hall, ladies.” A being who could only be Jupiter entered the area. How could I tell he had to be Jupiter? Maybe it was the lightning bolts he was holding when he greeted us. It could have been something else, I suppose, but I'm going with first impressions here.

No, somehow, given what I'd already heard, I didn't think this was a good thing at all.

How, just how, do I keep finding myself in these idiotic situations?

---

 

I looked at the god, and yes he was very handsome and powerful looking, and all that, then glanced at Evangaline. She only shrugged in response to that so I gathered I was kind of on my own for at least a while.

“Hello.” I answered him and shook myself mentally. “So if you don't mind me asking, why the — umm — invitation without giving us time to make ourselves pretty and all that?”

Jupiter smirked as he ogled us and then grinned. “I find these impromptu meetings to be much more illuminating, dear girl. Besides, I wanted to meet you. We have things to discuss, you and I.”

“What? Like your minions in the world trying to kill me?” I questioned then mentally kicked myself. One doesn't face a major league god and be a smart ass. Okay, so I did it with Llolth, but that was different, she was Mom, after all.

He laughed shook his head and gestured for us to follow him. “Ahh, the impetuosity of youth. But, yes, now that you mention that it is something I want to discuss with you.”

“Call them off and I might forgive you for trying to kill me, Uncle.” I shot back and again wanted to literally kick myself. If I could have pinned my tongue to the roof of my mouth just then I'd have done it.

“You are nothing but a little godling, a goddess in training, girl.” He glowered at me for a moment then smiled again. “It might just benefit you to listen to what I have to say here.”

“I'm all ears.” I answered while giving an internal sigh. Why, why couldn't I just be polite, demure, and all that other girl stuff at times like this? Although I had to admit that polite and demure weren't descriptions that fit me all that well at the best of times.

“Good.” Jupiter answered as he led us to a chamber that had a table that looked like it was groaning under the weight to the food and drink it had been burdened with. “Come, sit and eat with me. We can discuss things as we do that. I find that pleasures of the flesh do assist with affairs of the mind at times. And having two such lovely nieces vist is an occasion for some little celebration, after all.”

I recalled that Jupiter, or Zeus as the Greeks named him, was a randy old SOB and made a mental note to be very careful around him for another reason there. I had no desire to be pregnant from the head guy in the Greek and Roman pantheons. I'd heard his wife was a really jealous bi -- lady, when things like that happened. And being a mother was really low on my to do list. I mean like in the negative numbers kind of thing. And for some reason I was pretty sure that my 'mental contraceptive' wouldn't work all that well with someone like him.

“A celebration?” I asked as ingeniously as I could manage. “Why?”

“It isn't every day a new goddess ascends, my dear.” Jupiter, Zeus, whatever you wanted to call the guy, answered with a smile, then favored Vangie with a smile that might have been winning if both of us didn't know how much of a lech the guy was. “And a demi goddess/god to rival Janus in some ways.”

“You flatter me, my lord.” Vangie smoothly responded. “But I would never presume to rival Janus.”

“Wise child.” He nodded, then waved to the spread on the table. “Eat freely and without obligation, ladies. We have much to discuss, but such things are better done on a full stomach, don't you agree?”

“If it involves your minions and worshipers not trying to kill me, I can go with that.” I nodded as I reached for a really weird looking, but inviting purple fruit that looked like a cross between a pear and an overgrown cherry.

I nearly had an orgasm once I'd bitten into it, the flavor was like nothing I'd ever heard of, or imagined. To use a predictable phrase here, it was heavenly.

“I see you like my paradise fruit, Dahlia.” He smiled and was trying to do something else. I was half addled by the overpowering flavor and sensations on my tongue and palate, but I still saw what he was trying to do. The old lech.

“Oh, yeah.” I sighed and batted my eyes at him. “But maybe this one should be called — Passion Fruit?”

“Ahh, my deception is revealed.” He grinned and started to move towards me. “But it has affected you, hasn't it?”

“Well, yeah.” I nodded then held up a hand, palm out and shook my head. “But not that much. I'm not going to let my Uncle have his way with me. How icky is that idea, anyway? So get that out of your mind, please, right now.”

He shrugged as I carefully set the fruit back on the golden plate in front of me and his expression held both disappointment and some respect.

“You are your mother's daughter it would seem.” He actually chuckled. “She didn't fall for that one, either. But she was — less polite about things.”

“That would be mom.” I nodded and couldn't suppress a grin of my own. “Actually, I'm kind of surprised I was so — polite about it.”

“You aren't yet used to people groveling when you so much as frown.” Jupiter shrugged. “And you were mortal not so long ago, or at least thought you were.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” I muttered, then looked back at him. “Okay, so what exactly is it you want to talk about here, Uncle?”

“To business already.” He shook his head. “The impatience of youth, I suppose. But all right, let us get to it.

“You both could learn a lot from me.” He went on, giving us both a look that was so serious it could have seared a mortal's soul into shis-kebab. I use that analogy because his stare was like a skewer.

“I don't deny that.” I nodded, not feeling good at all about where this was headed but having no idea of how to avoid it. At least avoid it gracefully, which for me was kind of hard at the best of times.

“Agree to become my handmaidens and I will give you the world, the stars, the universe for playthings.” He went on.

Whoa. Pretentious much? Egocentric? Bug nuts crazy? Well, he was a god, and a powerful one. But...

All of a sudden I just knew how to respond to that one. Being a goddess, even a nascent one, does have it's perks, I have to admit. Even if grudgingly.

“But, Uncle,” I sweetly answered, “we aren't of your pantheon.”

“Accept my offer and you will be.” He answered not aware of the danger signal my being sweet and nice actually was.

“Won't that really piss off Mother, and Father, and their respective pantheons?” I asked just as sweetly and saw Vangie wince.

“If it is your own choice, there is very little your mother or father could do about it.”

“Point taken.” I nodded, ignoring Vangie's frantic kicks under the table. “But I honestly think that honored as we are, and I'm sure I speak for my sister too...”

Another, really hard kick that I returned while still sweetly smiling as I finished my answer. “I do think we will respectfully decline your generous and kind offer, Uncle.”

“YOU DARE REFUSE ME?!!!” He roared and grew to gigantic proportions. “I COULD OBLITERATE YOU WITH A THOUGHT, GODLING!”

“Probably.” I nodded and saw Vangie looking more than a little faint. “But then there is the simple fact that would initiate a real blood feud, or even war, between your pantheon and two others. Do you really want that right now?

I mean, I'm not sure, but I do think both the the Elven and Celtic pantheons are pretty powerful, aren't they? I would really rather avoid that kind of mess here if at all possible. Without becoming your servant, that is.”

“YOU NOW DISREPECT ME?”

“Oh, never that, Uncle.” I did my best to assure him then completely blew that one. “By the way, the sparkly little lightning running through your hair is pretty cool, and those lightning bolts in your eyes are awesome, but don't you think the thunderstorm over your head is just a little over the top?”

Vangie was hiding under the table by then.

He was gathering his power, enraged beyond reason, and I had one of those 'oh shit!' moments before muttering. “Mom, Dad, if you really are watching over me and Vangie, now would, you know, be a pretty good time to get us out of here?”

“You know how to leave, dear child.”

Lolth's voice in my head came as a pleasant surprise, and so did the knowledge I had about beating feet, or the equivalent of that in this situation. I grabbed Vangie's hand and just moved us. But not before a humongous lightning bolt was sizzling and crackling towards us.

We were back in the citadel. Unharmed, but with bad cases of static cling. A really bad case of that.

I let out a sigh and fell back onto a couch, Vangie just went to the floor. Good thing those were covered in nice thick, soft carpet or she might have hurt herself.

“You are INSANE!” She managed to get out once she'd managed to raise her head. But there was something like awe in her expression too. Besides the anger. “You defied Zeus, Jupiter, in his own home!”

“Yeah.” I agreed, still working on getting it enough together to have the shakes that I knew were gleefully waiting in the wings to pounce on me. “And other people think they have problems with their families.”

“Why, I ask,” Vangie moaned. “Is my newest sister destined to become the patron of insanity and inducing anger in everyone she meets?”

“I don't make everyone I run across angry.” I defended myself. “At least not all the time.”

“You come pretty close to that, sister of mine.” She sighed, then almost dived for the wine on a nearby table.

“Look at it this way.” I was trying to be encouraging. “He isn't mad at you.”

“For which I am duly grateful.” Vangie answered with a little smirk. “But I will admit our last encounter will make a very amusing story in the future. Just not at the moment, though.”

“Okay, so I'm socially inept off and on.” I shot back.

“Socially inept, she says.” Vangie rolled her eyes. “You. Just. Pissed. Off. A. MAJOR. GOD!!!”

“Never said I was perfect.” I muttered.

She almost choked on her wine after I said that, then dissolved into laughter.

“You're not going hysterical on me here are you?”

“This situation does not call for hysteria.” She choked out, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Full blown panic, maybe, but not hysteria, and I can't — I just can't — muster panic right now.”

“Glad I could cheer you up.” I groused. Then started laughing, too.

We were definitely a pair, my half-sister and I. What kind of pair we were, I had no idea. But things tend to get kind of complicated around me way to often.

“Dahlia, come to me.” Llotlh's voice entered the conversation.

“Here we go again.” I sighed, then added as Vangie gave me a curious look. “Mama calls. I'm probably going to get a good scolding here.”

“A spanking might be better.” My sister chuckled. “Go on, you don't want to make a major goddess angry with you right now do you? On top of what you've already done today?”

“Good point.” I admitted with a wince then answered the call. “Coming, Mother.”

Llolth was laughing when I got there.

“You wished to see me?” I asked just to interrupt her.

“Oh, that is rich!” She was still chuckling. “The patron of insanity and making people angry...”

“You're not mad at me?”

“Of course not, dear daughter.” She was still chuckling, but managed to answer. “You did quite well with my half-brother. He tried that Paradise Fruit thing on me once, too. I offered to do something very nasty to him for that one. So you were fairly nice about it given that.”

“Oh.” I grimaced. “Me, being nice. Imagine that.”

“Relatively nice.” She countered with another fit of giggles. Do you have any idea of how disconcerting it is to hear a much dreaded, powerful goddess giggle?

“Can I quit this job?” I asked.

“No child.” Llolth shook her head and gave me a serious look. “It is, as your former people say, in the genes. Your father and I are both rather major gods. Therefore, you are a goddess.”

“Of WHAT?” I asked, okay, maybe shouted. Just a little bit.

“Of whatever niche you find, dear.” She responded with a shrug while the spiders swarmed to comfort me with with eight legged hugs, and caresses. “If you really have to be goddess of insanity, then that is what you will do. But I truly think that you are more balance than anything else.”

“Balance?”

“Balance.” She nodded. “You are pulling in disparate alignments, good, evil, indifferent, and those are slowly forming into a coherent whole by worshiping you.”

“I'm not being worshiped!”

“No?” Llolth smirked. “Do you not feel a certain invigoration lately? Don't you feel stronger, more settled, more confident?”

“Well, yeah...” I nodded carefully. “I just thought I was getting used to the madhouse of a world I got pulled into.”

“You have priestesses already.” She told me. “The ones you call your minions, several born Dhro'aaa, and your lover is your high priest. And you do have worshipers besides those, daughter. You have made quite an impression on everyone recently with your exploits. That is why my Half-brother tried to seduce you into his fold. You have the potential for vast power, daughter. And are already exercising some of that, young and inexperienced as you are.

“Your uncle fears you.”

“And I might point out,” I grumbled, “is having his followers trying to kill me. At some very inconvenient times, too.”

“No mortal can kill a god, or goddess without aid that your attackers do not possess.” Llolth answered simply. “Those are simply an annoyance that Zeus is throwing in to distract you.”

“Oh, great.” I grumbled. “But that doesn't keep other people I care from harm, does it?”

“No, that is up to you.” She told me. “It is your duty to protect those who serve you, daughter.

“I think I'm getting a headache.”

“Part and parcel of the job.” She answered with a smirk. “You should try being an evil goddess. That, I assure you, isn't easy.”

You know? I didn't have an argument for that one. Go figure.

“So I'm a goddess whether I want to be or not.” I sighed. “I don't even get a retirement plan with the job.”

“When one of us retires, we die, dear.”

“Oh, now that's information I really needed to have.”

“Yes you do.” She moved up and hugged me. “Daughter, you live on what your worshipers give you now. You need that as much as you needed food and drink before.”

“Great, just great.” I grumbled. “No quitting, no retirement plan, and I have to take care of everyone who so much as prays to me!”

“Prioritize.” She advised with a wink. “You can ignore the trivial requests, those usually work themselves out. Find the really important petitions and answer them. Ignore the rest if you like. If I answered every petition I get, I'd never get anything important done.”

If I could have reached a wall, or even a heavy piece of furniture, I'd have been banging my head on it. Mom's pets wouldn't let me do that. Grrrrr.

“So now what do I do?”

“You have good instincts, daughter. Use them.”

“Oh, that's a lot of help.” I snarked. “My instincts got one of the most powerful gods in creation in a rage — which was, by the way, pointed at me.”

“You survived, didn't you?”

“Well, yeah.” I admitted.

“My point exactly.” She smugly answered.

“I think I need to go take a nap now.” I weakly responded.

Llolth, the dreaded evil goddess of the Dhro'aaa, hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Go rest, beloved daughter. You will come to accept all this soon enough. I expected no less than argument from you right now. I will be watching over you for awhile yet, but in time, you will not need that.”

I hugged her back, and kissed her cheek, then had to stroke and kiss her spiders because they felt left out. Once that was over with, I nodded. “Okay, I'll do my best, Mother.”

“You always do, love.” She smiled.

“Okay, talk with you later.” I managed a smile and went home.

Sheesh. I have a job no sane person would want. And I can't quit because people are already praying to me — which means I have a responsibility to them. Can you say? I'm sooo screwed?

---

 

“Nope.” I shook my head and dismissed that one.

“Oh, no damned way!” I almost shouted after looking at the next one.

“That I can do.” I sent a bit of the power I now had out to handle that one.

“You need to go talk to (insert god or goddess of choice) about that one. Out of my bailiwick, I'm afraid.” I did send a quick -kind of note — to the deity I'd sent that one to.

Man, this goddess thing was tough, and a pain in the posterior. And I'd probably end up owing said deity something in return. Sigh.

But if people were asking me to help — which they were — and I could do something about it? Much as it pained me, I was going to do it for them.

Like I said, this goddess thing is a pain. Especially since I still don't know what I'm the goddess OF.

Choosing that one is going to be something I don't really think I have all that much to say about. Something will come up, then I'll be set into a nice, comfortable niche. Grrr. The more I think about it being goddess of insanity doesn't seem so bad. If I was considered insane my slip ups wouldn't seem so bad.

Then it hit me, like a wall of puffy little day-glo balls falling all over me and I giggled. I mean I actually GIGGLED!

“Well, she seems to be in a better mood now.” I heard Sam tell someone quietly.

“Welll, yes, but I don't like that expression on her face.” “Evangaline, my sister, answered. “Last time I saw that one Zeus, Jupiter — whoever — started throwing lightning bolts at us.”

“You mean he got mad just because she had a contented grin on her face?”

“I think it was more about why she was contented.” My sister answered then added. “It's the smugly pleased with herself look part that really bothers me just now.”

“Oh, yeah, I see that.” My guy sighed. “She does have that 'Cat that just broke into the cream depository' look, doesn't she?”

“I'm right here, you know.” I informed them. “And can hear everything you two say.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sam moved up to give me a kiss and shrugged. “It's just that you were here but not here for awhile there, and grumbling all through that.”

“Yeah, answering prayers is a pain.” I kissed him back and smiled happily. “But I came up with a solution!”

“Uh, oh.” Evangaline sighed and asked. “I know I'm going to regret this one, but what is it?”

“I'm just going to answer them randomly and with random solutions unless they are really serious stuff.” I beamed at them.

“You are the goddess of insanity.” Evangaline moaned and lowered her head into her hands. “I knew it, I just knew it!”

“No, no, hear me out.” I tried to reassure her. “Look at it this way. If people pray to me and can't be sure of the answer, or response they get, maybe they'll think twice about bugging me all the time.”

“Much as I hate to admit it,” Vangie muttered from behind her hands, “that actually kind of makes sense.”

“It could actually make answering prayers fun instead of a chore.” I offered back.

“Chaos, I'm related to Chaos.” She grumbled. “And I thought insanity was bad.”

“But I thought it was a brilliant solution.” I answered with a pout. “I mean I could pull off a few nasty, evil things to keep Mom's more radical followers happy, do some kind, generous things for the do-gooders, and the middle of the road types will be happy that I haven't chosen sides. It's perfect!”

“She's your problem.” Vangie told Sam with a shake of her head. “See if you can talk some sense into her about this.”

“She never listens to me either.” He shrugged.

“I always listen to you, Sam.” I gave him a hurt look.

“True, but then you just go ahead and do what you were going to do, anyway.”

“Not all the time.” I defended myself then held up a hand. Hang on please. My first complaint!”

I listened for a bit then pointed out. “But I gave you what you asked for. You wondered why your sisters got away with not doing any of the hard work. Now you'll find out.”

“Don't complain to me, Missy!” I answered, then threatened. “I could arrange for you to be fat, ugly and stupid instead of pretty, built and smart...”

“Thought you'd see it my way.” I smirked. “I'll expect periodic reports on your progress, dear. Bye.”

“Uh, Dahlia, dear, umm,” Sam was looking a bit pale, “what was that about?”

“Oh, some minor lordling was complaining that his sisters had it so easy and wanted to know how they got away with it. So I decided to show him-- er, her now — first hand. She wasn't too happy with my solution.”

“Okaaay.” Sam carefully nodded. “So did you plan to do that to him, her, whatever?”

“Nope.” I grinned. “One of the random prayers I answered and that was easiest way to show how his sisters got away with 'doing nothing'.”

“Chaos.” Vangie nodded her head while giving Sam a sympathetic look. “You're married to Chaos.”

“Been that way since we got here. Things around Dahlia always have been kind of — complicated at the best of times.” Sam shrugged. “I guess it just follows now.”

“Well...” Vangie sighed and gave up arguing. “I suppose having Chaos for a sister could be 'interesting'. I'll just have to remember to not invite you to many family get-to-gethers.”

“There.” I sighed then almost glared at Sam and Vangie. “I told her to suck it up and learn for the next couple of moon cycles, then I'd change her back if she still wanted to do that by then.”

“I should be satisfied with that.” Vangie gave me a look then asked. “But why do I think there's more to it than what you just told us?”

“Weellll...”

“Out with it, dear.” Sam joined in.

“I kind of arranged for the new lady to meet a really great guy?” I shrugged and gave them my best 'innocent, butter would still be usable after an hour' in my mouth expression.

“Dahlia!” Vangie almost shrieked in outrage, then dissolved into laughter. “You're impossible!”

“Well, look at it this way.” I countered. “Now she's actually valuable to her family instead of being the almost useless wastrel he was.

“Did I mention the guy is also a real prince? Literally?” I asked.

“Am I ever going to win an argument with you?” She questioned between guffaws.

Sam grinned at me then turned an almost mournful look to Vangie. “Probably not. I know I haven't yet.”

Kae'song and Kevin actually bowed to me when I walked into the meeting room. Alis curtsied I mean she actually curtsied!

“What?” I asked them while taking time to look into every alcove, nook, cranny and whatever to make sure nothing was going to jump out and try to grab me. “Why all this formality all at once?”

“Well, you are now officially a goddess.” Kae'Song answered.

“And that makes me a different person?” I asked.

“Yes!” They all answered, much to my embarrassment.

“Why?”

“You are Chaos embodied.” Alis carefully answered. “It would be more than foolish to offend you, Lady.”

“Yeah, like I'd intentionally hurt three of the few people who have actually put up with me over the past few months.” I countered, then added. “Okay, I was kind of pissed off at Kae'Song for awhile, but I got over that. And if I accidentally did something nasty to any of you, I'd fix it, honest!”

“You are no more conventional as a goddess than you were as a Dhro'aaa.” Kae'Song shook his head.

“Like there are iron clad rules I have to follow?” I asked. “I've been making up mine as I go since I got here, you guys, of all people, should know that.”

“Point taken.” Kevin chuckled and nodded. “You have intentionally gone against the norm since I've known you, Lady. So I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that you are no different now.”

It is no wonder you became Chaos.” Alis nodded with a little grin.

“Just how is it that you three know that I'm — umm — Chaos?”

“Each of us is closely connected to our particular gods, Lady.” Kae'Song answered. “The ripples you have caused are kind of difficult to miss.”

“My name is still Dahlia.” I told them. “Please use it when talking to me. And no, I won't zap you if you don't but I'd be kind of hurt.”

“As you wish, Dahlia.” Kae'Song nodded then gestured to the chair at the head of the table. “Please make yourself comfortable.”

“That's your chair, mage.” I settled into my usual spot and made sure everyone knew I was getting comfortable. “I am a guest here, so wouldn't presume to take your rightful seat. Now don't argue with me, just sit down and get some wine in here so we can actually discuss something other than me.”

Thankfully, no one argued with that one.

Have you decided on a Demesne for yourself yet?” Kevin questioned once the usual business had been taken care of.

“What?”

“You own home.” Alis helpfully added. “Every god or goddess has one, you know.”

“This is home.” I told them and was answered with rolled eyes and sighs. “What, you're kicking me out?”

Not at all, Dahlia.” Kae'Song answered slowly. “To be honest, even as intractable and unpredictable as you can be, having you here has been truly a pleasure. But you need a place of your own.”

“So you are throwing me out. Just politely.” I pouted.

“Not at all, dear.” Kae'Song actually smiled. “Your absence would make my citadel that much poorer for the lack, but in time you will need to have a place that is exclusively yours, so now would be a good time to begin planning it.”

“Okay, I suppose that's a good point.” I nodded. “But I have no idea of how to do that.”

“Ask your mother.” Alis told me.

“Oh yeah, Mom!” I laid my forehead in one hand and sighed. “How is SHE going to take all this?”

“Go ask her.” Kevin told me with a shrug.

“Easy for you to say.” I grumbled. “What's happened recently kind of messes up plans we had for other things.”

“You'll manage,” Kae'Song answered simply, “just like you always do.”

“You mean with all the stumbling and tripping and cussing?' I asked him with narrowed eyes.

“Yes.” He answered me with a smile that was almost serene.

ARRGH!

“My, my, Daughter.” Llolth actually smiled at me. “You certainly don't choose the path of least resistance, do you? Goddess of Chaos. I'm impressed.”

“Seemed to be the thing to do at the time.” I grumbled as she hugged me. “I had no idea that what I did would pigeonhole me like it did.”

“We are chosen as much as we chose, dear one.” She answered me and hugged me again. “I was once goddess of Destiny, but my worshipers changed, so I had to as well. You made the best choice you could, and to be honest, with your temperament, it fits you quite well.”

“I'm not ready to be a major goddess!” I shot back.

“No one ever is, darling.” Llolth grinned at me, actually grinned. And winked. “Truthfully, the ones who want that shouldn't have the power. The fates work without our input, and don't listen to our complaints. We, like everyone else, just have to deal with what they hand us even if we are gods.”

“I suppose that means I'm not getting out of this?” I let out a sigh and gave several of her more insistent spiders a few strokes that had them purring.

“We are no more in control of our fates than mortals, beloved daughter.” She answered simply. “Gods have to deal with what fate hands us just as mortals do.”

“Oh you have no idea how encouraging that is to hear.” I grumbled. “So what do I do now?”

“What you have been doing seems to be working.” She shrugged. “Just do what you feel is right.”

“I don't know what's right!”

'And you actually think I do?' She asked while shaking her head. “Gods are fallible, dear one. We make mistakes, too. It's just that mortals don't dare question us so we get away with some rather horrendous errors. You, at least, question your decisions.”

“That's probably because I'm new at this.”

“You are Chaos, daughter.” Llolth told me. “You will always question. And that isn't such a bad thing.

“You are good, bad, evil, holy, inconsistent, and never boring.” She chuckled. “Family gatherings with you around will be lots more fun, I can tell that.”

“That's what Vangie said.” I muttered.

“You were that way before.” She told me. “I should have seen this coming, but be careful, dear. There hasn't been a deity of chaos in ages, real ages. Things are realigning now because you are what you are. And there are some who won't be happy about that.”

“I kind of noticed that already.” I grimaced.

“Fresh thinking, dear.” She reassured me. “You have experience and knowledge that the gods don't. Use it. You'll do fine.”

“I hope so.”

“You are my daughter, how could you do less than well?” She smiled and hugged me again. “Now say goodbye to my pets and get back to where you belong.”

I did, but it took about twenty minutes. Mom has lots and lots of cuddly and not so cuddly spiders. And all of them wanted at least a touch from me. Sheesh. Have I said it's really weird to hear a spider purr? Then I had to round up Sssrrinthss and get her back on me. It was like old home week for my familiar/tattoo. Sheesh. That took me ten minutes.

Oh, this was going to be an interesting meeting, or gathering, or orgy, or whatever.

All of my handmaidens just gave me expectant looks and smirked when they didn't think I was looking.

Mrrthis, the Dhro'aaa priestess who had decided I was her goddess gave me a speculative look and Sam, damn him, had chortled, choked out something indeciferable in any language, then ran off to play with his swords.

Damn it.

My maids, with characteristic intelligence and a good sense of self preservation, were nowhere to be found. I couldn't really blame them either. I kind of wished I could run off and hide under the pretense of doing somthing so simple as laundry.

But I couldn't. Though the idea of doing my own laundry — along with the horror that would cause among my followers, kind of cheered me up.

Can a goddess get dishpan hands?

Never mind. I'll work that one out later.

I do these all the time, given the number of characters and places I tend to put in my stories, just so I can keep track. It occurred to me that it might be helpful if I published this one so others could check back here to see who someone is or what a place is.

I'll be updating this as the story goes on, by the way.

Hopefully, it will be helpful.

Maggie

Dylan Thomas Ames: Net work administrator on Earth now Dahlia saa Llolth

Dahlia saa Llolth: Dhro'aaa female daughter of Llolth and Danaan (both gods)

Samuel James Walken: Contractor on Earth. Now Samthien, Dhro'aaa male warrior and husband of Dahlia

Kae'song: Powerful Magic user. Brought Dylan and Sam to Aeiris ( the world) and transformed them.

Brigid: Redhead, One of Dhalia's Maids

Evangaline: One of Dahlia's Maids, pretty brunette

Marisol: One of Dhalia's Maids. Blonde

Lady Alis Bertold: Female Mage, powerful and an ally of Kae'song and later on, Dahlia

Ronce: Master Arms Master in Kae'Song's Citadel

Salar: Slave trader. First person Dahlia actually killed.

Lord Kevin Thenthas: Knight (Paladin?) with real power and an ally of Kae'song and eventually, Dahlia.

Kysstn: Dhro'aaa female, leader of the first bandits that Dahlia and Sam defeated.

Lila: Young village girl with some indefinable power. Dahlia is very interested in her welfare and in her.

Yannis Thorv: Former bandit, sworn to Dahlia's service. Becomes Dhro'aaa female with ice blue eyes and a lush figure.

Jance: Bandit (see Yannis) Becomes a full blood woods elf with green hair, full figure, and grey eyes.

Ilsu: Former bandit. Becomes half elf with cornflower blonde hair and golden eyes. Tall and lithe.

Llew: Former Bandit. Becomes a full blooded high elf with long hair that looks like spun gold and vivid green eyes.

Osgol: Former Bandit. Becomes a Droh'aaa with soft green eyes and a lean but athletic figure.

Sssrrinthss: Spider (familiar?) given to Dahlia by Llolth. Name shortened to Sirrin and is generally a tattooe on Dahlia unless called out or D is in great danger.

Mrrthis Saaa Pthon of Clan Pthon: First Dhro'aaa female with real standing Dahlia meets. Priestess and daughter of the Monarchs of the local Dhro'aaa enclave.

Annisathhhe: See Yannis. Mage

Ilsa: See Ilsu. Fighter.

Janise: See Jonce. Ranger (tracker, hunter, good in the woods and forests)

Lissara: See Llew. Fighter, very dangerous, especially when a male looks at her 'that way'.

Osetthe: See Osgol. Thief/Assassin. Also the only one of the five originally happy with the change.

Morales: Citadel guardsman who made the mistake of groping Osetthe without invitation.

Goresh:Weapons trainer at the Citadel.

Reginald: Paladin. Not to bright. Cursed. Son of the god Danaan.

Brac’ea’thimm Saaa Pthoh: Dhro'aaa warrior from Caet' he Og. Mrrthiss' brother.

Evangaline: Danaan's Daughter, Dahlia's half sister. See Reginald and curse.

Hanas: Town near Kae'song's Citadel. The place Dahlia first killed someone.

Vulgar Unicorn: Tavern in Hanas. (And yes, I shamelessly stole that one.)

Kaenae: Lila's home. A village close to Kae'song's Citadel.

Caet’he Og: Dhro'aaa enclave near the Citadel.

Lythia: Largest of the three moons orbiting Aeiris. Orbit is thirty local days.