Compulsions are really messed up things. Like the one that is making me cross my legs, at the knees, even though I'm currently wearing jeans. No matter how much I want to uncross them and sit, wide-legged, I can't do so. It was all my fault, so I'm not bitching too much.

I should have known better. I was raised by my parents better. She was just so beautiful and I was surrounded by my peers, egging me on.

The road blurred by as I stared out of the bus window heading toward my new future, my new self-inflicted punishment.

"Go on, dude. You've got to hit that."

"Look at that ass. Just thirty minutes is all I'd need. It's got to be tight as hell."

"Three minutes, you mean. You'd probably blow it trying to get it in."

"Fuck you, man."

"Oh shit, she's bending over. Oh fuck… a little more, dammit!"

I didn't even have the guts to shut my friends up. Being transfixed by the most beautiful petite blonde I'd ever seen had me staring at her with the stupidest expression on my face. That wasn't including the slack jaw I was sporting and the pressure building between my legs as my erection built itself. She couldn't have been more than five-two or five-three. It was hard to tell with the cowboy boots she was wearing.

Short, evenly proportioned, girls have always been my weakness, ever since high school. This girl, whoever she was, was sporting every possible thing that would turn me on: the short denim shorts that grabbed her ass and put it on display, her tanned legs ending in simple cowboy boots, the red and white plaid shirt tied up under B-cup breasts exposing her midriff, and that long blonde hair that looked like she'd just been out riding. In short, she was my dream girl.

I was shaken from my thoughts by a delicate hand on my shoulder.

"Pardon me, sweetheart." I looked up at an elderly lady clutching a baby blue crocheted bag to her chest. "Would you mind very much if I sat here. There's a foul odor of alcohol coming from the… gentleman… next to me."

That almost made me laugh. "Sure, help yourself." I grabbed my backpack from the adjacent aisle seat and gave her a firm, but placating press of my lips.

"Thank you," she said as she made herself comfortable. "It was bearable for the first ten miles, but after that…"

I nodded in understanding. "It's not a problem."

Clutching my pack to my chest, I resumed my staring out of the window.

"I'm Margie Simpleton." Her hand was extended toward me and I shook it briefly, feeling the coolness of her skin. Her touch spoke of her using hand lotion for far too long. Her skin was soft, beyond normal and her nails thin and brittle. The scent of powder and old lady wafted to my nose making it itch slightly.

I naturally responded with my true name, but another compulsion twisted it in my throat. "Ally Baker. I’m pleased to meet you."

Her responding smile showed off a set of perfectly white dentures. There was no way a lady of her years could have perfect teeth. "Baker? You wouldn't by chance be related to Hannah and Jethro Baker in Wiggins?"

I nodded. "They're my aunt and uncle."
Margie's eyes lit up. "You must be Mary and Steve's little girl. You were just up to my knee the last time I saw you."

My brows knitted in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

She patted my hand on the arm rest. "You and your parents used to attend church with me and mine when you were little."

Memories of wearing poofy dresses, white tights, and Mary Jane shoes entered my head. My hair in pigtails bouncing to and fro and dangling my feet off the end of the pew ended the flashback. "Oh, what a nice coincidence."

Margie grasped my hand, and I was getting creeped out by how much she was touching me. "Child, I've learned over eighty-nine years that there is no such thing as coincidence. There's a reason that old drunk sat beside me and made me change seats. For one reason or another, we're going to be a part of each others lives. The Lord works in sneaky ways."

I almost laughed at that. It did bring a smile to my face. She had no idea that it wasn't God that did the weird things; it was his minions.

"NO!" The girl struggled against Tim trying to break his grasp.

"Guys, she said no," I said firmly.

Frank spun around. "You need to man up, Jimmy boy. Get you a piece of this ass. Girls like this hold onto their virginity for years. She's gonna be a sweet piece."

I stalled. These weren't my friends. They were nobody's friends. There were three of them and I wasn't built like a tank, unlike Frank and Perry. The beating I would take would probably put me in the hospital or worse. My fists clenched when I saw the fear in the girl's eyes. They pleaded with me to do something, anything.

Stepping back, I took in the area. Looking for a makeshift weapon, but there was nothing. That's when the screaming started. Jeff hit her across the face and then shoved something into her mouth while Perry started a sawing motion with his hips. Still I stalled, but only for another few seconds. Long enough for me to pull out my Swiss Army knife. It wasn't meant for combat, despite the name, but it would have to do.

After extending the longest blade, I move up behind Frank and pulled his head back far enough to lay the blade across his throat to drag it through. The spray of blood across their backs let Perry and Jeff know something beside their raping an innocent girl was terribly wrong.

Perry had his pants around his legs which left me facing Jeff who was about my physical size. I still had a chance. Dropping Frank's struggling dead weight I launched myself, stabbing blindly at my opponent.

The blade stabbed into his arm and got hung up in the two forearm bones when he twisted away. My hand, already drenched in Frank's blood, made me lose my grip and thus the knife.

Loud pops amidst our struggling signaled the end of the fight. Or rather the end of Jeff and Perry's fight.

Margie knitted for the remainder of the bus ride while I pretended to sleep. She was a nice old lady, but there was only so much yammering about church I could take. I had issues, obviously.

A few minutes before we came to a stop, Margie shook me awake. "We're almost there, Ally."

The grip I had on my backpack eased up as I blinked at the setting sun in the distance. Smiling my thanks, I sat up properly and checked myself over.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You're a peach. Someone could stick a sack over you and you'd still look beautiful."

"Thank you," I replied, having nothing more to say. I knew exactly how gorgeous I was. She was right. A burlap sack and nothing else would still be sexy as hell on me. In fact, the mental image it brought to mind was kind of pervy now that I thought about it.

"Will I see you at church this Sunday?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess. I suppose it depends on if I'm settled in."

After patting my knee and giving me a last look at her dentures the bus came to a halt and Margie took to her feet. I stood after her and slung my backpack over my shoulder then followed the flow of passengers into the backward-ass town of Wiggins, Mississippi.

I scanned the limited crowd at the bus depot for my current uncle, Jethro Baker. A picture rose from memory of a man who stood six foot six and weighed two hundred and fifty pounds, almost all of which was farm-raised, and tanned muscle. He tended three hundred acres of longhorn beef and a hundred acres for a handful of horses all by himself.

His and Hannah's son, Dawson, died in a freak lightening storm the previous year, and his brother-in-law and sister, my parents -- sort of -- in a car wreck soon thereafter. They'd had a hard year which would have been that much harder if their niece, Allison Susan Baker, had died from asphyxiation due to a rag being forced down her throat while she was being gang-raped.

It's one of the reason's I made the deal to take her place. It was my fault that she didn't live, love, and grow old. If I'd only kept my mouth shut when I saw her then we would have walked on down the street and she wouldn't have had a care in the world. But I had to stop and point her out. Then I stalled right before Jeff entered her. If I didn't stutter in my manhood and acted, then she might have gotten away. Jeff wouldn't have hit her and stuffed his varsol covered handkerchief in her mouth. Ally had a reaction to the fluid that is used to cut grease in machine shops. Her throat closed up and then she choked to death in a dirty alleyway being pawed at by oversexed drunks.

I'd killed Frank, Jeff wound up shot by Perry on accident, and me on purpose. A cop wound up shooting him on purpose.

"Ally!"

I looked up and saw the man that matched my memory. "Uncle Jethro!"

In three long steps he was in front of me and grabbing me by the hips, slinging me up in the air like I weighed absolutely nothing at all. I came back down and wrapped my arms around his neck so I wouldn't fall. His laughter was deep and happy, obviously pleased that his niece was home where he could protect her properly.

"Lord, it's good to see you again, Ally Sue."

My legs involuntarily wrapped around his waist in a familiar way. It's great to see you too, Uncle Jethro." Even if it was really for the first time.

"How many bags do you have, sweet pea?"

A compulsion came over me to roll my eyes and slap at him playfully. He chuckled at me and I held up three fingers. After shaking his head he let me slide down. "You're worse than Hannah."

"A girl's got to live, don't she?" I cringed inwardly at my mangling of the English language. I hadn't been able to shake loose the country twang that came more than naturally to my new body.

"That she does. That she does."

The luggage area was being extended from beneath the bus, and I pointed out a trunk and two suitcases. While I went to pick up the suitcases, Jethro held out his hand. "Don't you go and hurt yourself, Ally Sue. I got this no problem."

Without any visible effort he tucked one suitcase under his left arm, the other in his left hand and then he bent to grab one of the large handles of the trunk, hoisting it up to his shoulder. Cripes, the man was strong! That trunk had to weight seventy or eighty pounds by itself.

"Uncle Jethro, let me take one of the suitcases at least."

His return look spoke to me like I was being silly. "This ain't nothing' sweet pea. Now go on. The truck's out front in the parking lot."

True to his word, he kept a leisurely pace the entire way. I ran ahead to the rust colored Ford F-250 longbed and popped the tailgate for him. Easy as he was setting down a case of expensive crystal, he put my trunk into the bed with the suitcases along side. All of this without breaking a sweat or even breathing hard.

"There, see? Your old Uncle ain't quite so old as you thought."

He really wasn't. Being that he was the younger of the two Baker's, with Ally's mother being in her late thirties before she died, he was barely pushing thirty. Thirty-two as of May, if Ally's memory was correct.

"I never thought you were old, Uncle Jethro."

After closing up the tailgate he grabbed me again for another hug and then bent down to kiss the top of my head. "We missed you, sweet pea. I can't believe you are back so quick."

Ally left home after Christmas, to start her new life in the big city. By the beginning of June she had her skirt up around her waist and her panties around her ankles, dead. "The city wasn't what it was supposed to be."

Jethro escorted me around to the passenger side and opened the door for me as he extended a hand to help me up into the oversized truck. It sucked so much being so short. I was right about the five-two estimate. Everything was so much bigger, taller, and unreachable now. I had to have help with almost anything that I'd tried to do. However being a drop-dead gorgeous blonde had its advantages at certain times. All it took was a look of frustration and helplessness and most men would stop whatever it was they were doing to assist me.

Once we exited the parking lot onto Magnolia Boulevard, main street if you will, Jethro got up to speed. Wiggins wasn't a one stoplight town, it was a two stoplight town. They were moving up in the world. I eyed the one and only twenty-first century store within thirty-five miles, Wal-Mart. In the same parking lot, a bowling alley looked to be opening up. Woo hoo… not.

"Maggie's still got your old position open at the diner if you want it."

Waitress. It was the whole reason that Ally left Wiggins. No opportunities. She didn't want to wind up pregnant and barefoot with the High School quarterback's child. Not that he was a bad guy, just a little possessive.

"I'll have to go by and say hi, but I've got other plans."

That earned an inquisitive glance in my direction. "Oh really?"

I nodded then pointed. "Stop at the theater for a sec."

Moments later, Jethro pulled into an angled parking space in the main part of town where Magnolia Boulevard was saddled with small rustic mom and pop stores, along with the local police station and city hall nearby.

Without waiting for him to come open my door, I hopped down from the truck, which by the way is a three foot drop if I didn't use the little steps under the door. I dug into the front pocket of the backpack and withdrew a keyring with about ten keys in all. Assuming the biggest one was for the front door, I walked up and slid it in place.

"Ally Sue Baker, what are you doin' with keys to the theater? Old man MacAfee will tan your hide when he finds out."

I tossed my hair to the side and smiled back at Jethro. "Don't worry none about him, Uncle Jethro. It's mine now. Well, mostly."

The town theater hadn't been closed for long, just since the previous summer. Fred 'old man' MacAfee had shut it down after his wife passed on of natural causes. He was too old to run it himself and didn't trust anyone to run it for him. So he closed the doors. It was an old two screen theater with a giant lobby that I thought was perfect for something else.

What Uncle Jethro didn't know was while Ally Sue Baker only had about ten grand in the bank after all was said and done with her parents estate, James McAllister was a semi-successful computer geek who played with online trading in his spare time.

Before heading back to Ally's home in rural Mississippi, I closed all of his investments and bank accounts, which in turn left me with a fairly decent nest-egg. It was enough to renovate the theater into a little business and leave enough left over for me to live on in the meantime, if I pinched my pennies.

"Yours?"

I nodded. Looking around, I saw a thin layer of dust on everything, but the place was mostly clean. Nothing that a little elbow grease wouldn't fix. "Fred MacAfee is letting me fix the place up for ten percent of the net profit."

"What do you know about runnin' a theater, Ally?"

I shook my head. "Absolutely nothing, but I know how to run a coffee shop and I know my way around computers. It's time for Wiggins to enter the twenty-first century, Uncle Jethro. I'm opening an internet café."

He stopped looking around the familiar theater and centered his gaze on me… before laughing. I raised a single thin eyebrow at him and sucked on my slight overbite in mild annoyance. "What's so funny?"

Jethro saw the look on my face and his laughing stuttered to a uncomfortable cough. "It's just… Ally Sue… I mean, you're eighteen years old."

Placing my hands on my hips, my lips pursed for a moment. "And?"

He cleared his throat, quite certain that he was going to be on the receiving end of a tongue lashing. "Uh…"

"I'll have you know that I'm not just a small town girl that can't do anything but waitress at the local diner waiting for her knight in dusty cowboy boots to sweep her off her feet."

Jethro took a step backward, and it wasn't until I saw that I was moving toward him with my finger pointed at his chest that I realized the absurdity of the situation. Like all of my ninety-eight pounds of femininity could do anything to him, in the slightest bit. "I've learned a lot and I'm gonna make this café the place to be, even if it's in Hicksville, USA."

He stopped backing away when my diatribe was finished. A small smile crept its way back to his face. "I see you haven't lost the fire in your belly. Your mom would have been proud as punch seein' you stand up to me."

That drained the ire out of my spine. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Ain't nothin' to be sorry about. I forget sometimes about Baker women's gumpshin'. When they see somethin' they want, Lord help whoever stands in their way."

A compulsion pushed me forward into Jethro's arms and the safety they provided. Nothing in the world could stop that man from destroying anything that would even think about harming one of his.

Being James McAllister, I never felt or had the need for protection since I was ten years old and beat the crap out of Stewie Harris for trying to steal my bike. As Ally Baker, all I wanted was for his strong arms to hold me and for him to tell me everything was going to be alright. It was a powerful desire that humbled me.

"Can we go home now, Uncle Jethro?"

"Anything you want, sweet pea."

My nose wrinkled at the smell of cow manure. It was something that I never had to endure in the big city. Memories of Jethro saying, 'that's the smell of money' brought a smile to my face. Smelly money spends just as well as the clean stuff, I suppose. And people have to have their beef.

There was a large wooden placard above the gravel driveway proclaiming home to be the 'Diamond B Ranch' with sideways diamonds in place of the bubbles on the capital letter B.

"Hannah's makin' your favorite tonight."

It took me a second to figure out what Ally's favorite dinner was. Meatloaf with mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and hand made dinner rolls all layered in brown gravy. It was a wonder how she grew up looking as thin as she did. However, the thought of a true home-cooked meal made my stomach clench in mild excitement. I bounced a little in my seat with anticipation.

"There she is!" I yelled as I pointed. Jethro pulled up in front of the house and I nearly fell out of the truck from the compulsion that made me scream with happiness and run to Hannah's open arms.

It was a one story ranch house that was more than comfortable. The Baker's came from old cattle money. While they weren't as well off as some of those Texas land barons back in the old days, they weren't financially hurting by any means.

"Little Ally!" Hannah almost screeched as she grabbed me up into her arms for a hug. A second passed and she pulled away. "Let me look at you." A head to toe inspection proved that she could still smile and I passed muster. "I was so worried about you in the big city. Turn around."

I smiled and spun in place while she lifted the back of my shirt up to expose my trim waist. "Still as skinny as a reed, and no tattoos, thank the Lord. How about any of those things city girls put all over their bodies."

That confused me for a moment until I remembered the first thing Ally did when she arrived and settled in the city. I winced and raised the front of my shirt to expose the navel piercing. Hannah rolled her eyes and sighed. "Well at least it wasn't in your nose, I suppose. Girls these days."

I grinned at her and she slapped me on the butt. "Now get in there and wash up, Dinner's on the table."

"Yes, ma'am."

The aromas that permeated the house made my mouth water and my taste buds tingle. Before Jethro had even made it back to the dining room, I was sitting at the table staring at all of the goodies.

Hannah laughed at me. "You probably haven't seen a home cooked meal since you left have you?"

I shook my head. "Cooking for one usually means frozen pizza or sandwiches."

She rolled her eyes at me. "It's a wonder you didn't blimp out like Mary Sullivan. Baker genes, I guess. You Baker girls could always eat whatever you wanted."

"You're a Baker girl too, Aunt Hannah."

"Not by blood and that's what counts where that's concerned. Jethro! Get a move on. Dinner's gettin' cold."

The shuffling of his heavy boots announced the presence of Jethro along with the grin on his face. "Looks wonderful, honey."

Hannah smiled her thanks. She was always easy to please. After he sat, Jethro reached for the mashed potatoes and Hannah smacked his hand. He snatched it back. "Whoops. Sorry." He pulled back and interlaced his fingers under his chin.

Oh shit, I forgot too. I bowed my head and waited for Hannah to do her thing.

"Dear Lord, we want to thank you for bringing Ally Sue back home safely and watching over her while she was among those that might have brought her harm. Please bless this food so that it may nourish our bodies and allow us to live our lives in your name. Amen."

"Amen," Jethro and I mumbled.

Jethro looked over at Hannah for the go ahead. "Well, go on. I know you two have got to be hungry."

Before I had even plucked an ear of corn off the serving plate in front of me, the phone rang. Hannah looked at it with a scowl on her face. "Who could that be?"

She got up and answered. "Baker residence." After a moment her eyes flicked to me and her lips twisted to the side with an amused smirk. "Robbie Dawson, what are you doin' callin' here at five-thirty? You know that we sit down to dinner then." Another few seconds passed and she looked appeased, somewhat. "No, you can't talk to her. We're having dinner. You can talk to Ally afterward."

Memories of Robbie Dawson flashed through my head, which in turn made my face heat up at remembering what Ally and he did in the back of his dad's pick up the night before she left for the city. No, she didn't have sex with him, but it was darned close. And it wasn't for a lack of effort on his part. Not in the least. He was all hands that night, and maybe some lips. But Ally stood firm, even against the hormones and feelings she experienced at the time.

Hannah resumed her seat and served herself. "Not back in town five minutes and he's sniffin' around."

I giggled and she eyed me before pointing an ear of corn. "Don't think you are gonna jump back on that hobby horse young lady. Your little Robbie Dawson has been like a dog on a bone with all the girls in town."

"No thanks. Robbie and I were done six months ago." Not to mention that I was still unsure about my sexual orientation at the moment. It had only been six weeks since the attack, and I'm sorry, but dating hadn't been the first thing on my mind at the time.

A nod from Hannah and I had her approval. "Good girl."

The amount of dishes it took to prepare and serve dinner for three people was astounding. It took twenty minutes of Hannah and I washing and drying before everything was put in its place. Jethro went out to take care of a few things that pulling him away in the middle of the afternoon to pick me up had interfered with.

Right when I hung up the semi-damp apron on its hook, I heard the electronic sound of the first line of Dixie being played in the front yard. Apparently Robbie still hadn't gotten rid of that little piece of his personality installed in his dad's truck.

Hannah gave me the wary eye and I grinned back. "Don't worry. We're through. Really. I'll go let him down easy."

"Uh-huh."

"Is the loft in the barn still the same?"

She cocked her hip to the side and placed her fist under her belt. "You mean the one where you and Robbie used to spend hours making out? That loft?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh, it's still there. Try not to leave any hay in your hair this time."

On the way out, a compulsion made me stop and fluff my hair up. Oh brother. My lipstick had worn away from dinner, but since I wasn't trying to impress Ally's former boyfriend, I wasn't the least bit worried.

I opened the front door right when Robbie was about to knock on the screen door in-between. "Hey baby."

I arched an eyebrow. Baby? "Hey Robbie."

When I stepped out onto the porch he looked like he was about to burst from hormone overload. "Do you want to go to the loft and… talk?"

That was their codeword for Robbie forcing his tongue as far down Ally's throat as humanly possible. "Yeah, we need to talk."

My lack of dramatic pause hadn't made it through to his brain as of yet. I was entirely truthful when I said it would only be a talk and not a oral examination or even a hands-on breast cancer screening even. I saw two possibilities at hand. One: Robbie still hadn't gotten lucky with any of the girls of Wiggins. In which case that meant he was going to be attacking me the second I sat down on the couch, or Two: he'd been really lucky with the girls of Wiggins and there was a strong possibility that if I bowed to his desires I would contract a funky venereal disease. Neither of those scenarios were acceptable at the moment and I was almost dreading leaving my Taser in my purse. A couple of zaps from that puppy, in the proper place, would take care of any rising problems, if you get my meaning. Maybe the girls of Wiggins would welcome my solution.

I kid. Robbie is, or was a pretty nice guy. He knew no meant no, at least as of Christmas he did. He always brought flowers on our dates… Ally's dates with him rather. If you called daisies flowers; I called them weeds. I was always an exotic flower type person, roses in a pinch.

"How was the city? I knew you'd be back."

What the hell kind of welcoming was that? "It was fine. I learned a lot."

"Six months? How much could you have learned?"

He was halfway up the stairs to the loft when I stopped. He heard my bootfalls halt and turned around. "Well, I learned how to put my boot up someone's ass if he was rude." I waggled the pointed toe from my right boot at him. "See, it's all tapered for easy insertion and everything."

His eyes widened a little at my angered tone. "Whoa baby. What's with the attitude? Why don't you come up here and show me how much you missed me."

My eyebrows bunched in confusion, then I looked right and left. "Did someone come over to your house and substitute you for an extra from Jersey Shore?"

"What?"

I backed down the stairs. There was no way I was going up there now. "I didn't know it was possible to become a totally different person in just six months, Robbie."

"I go by Rob now."

"Uh-huh."

He came back down the stairs with his hands wide, trying unsuccessfully to make me feel at ease. "I'm the same guy, baby. Just a little older and wiser."

Well that answered my question about whether or not he had been laid. Obviously he had and now he thought he was god's gift.

"Yeah, well, same-ole-Robbie. When I left at Christmas it was the end of us, so why don't take your new attitude, your 'baby's' and your hormones off the property."

Rob paused at the bottom of the stairs with a hurt look on his face that used to melt Ally's heart. Mine was still kind of cold at the moment, so it didn't have the effect that he was expecting. "Aww, baby, don't be like that. Come to daddy and let me make you feel better."

That's when I heard the sound of metal scraping against metal with a long even stroke followed by the slow heavy baritone of Uncle Jethro's voice. "I'd advise taking the young lady's advice there, Rob. That is if you'd like to father a child some day." Jethro stood about ten feet away holding a curved, single handed sickle and a sharpening stone casually as could be. "'Course if you don't, well then I could probably help you out there too." That was followed by another long scrape of the sharpening stone again the blade. Jethro was just plain evil when it came to his girls. All Children of the Corn and everything.

"Uh… yes, sir. I mean no, sir. I don't need any help. I'll just go." Robbie nodded at me and then left with as much of his manhood still intact as was humanly possible.

When I heard the spinning of his dad's truck in the drive I turned back to Jethro. "Thank you, but I could have handled it on my own." Lies, all lies!

He gave the sickle another swipe with the stone. "Never thought you couldn't, sweet pea. I just thought this here blade needed a little sharpening."

With a knowing smirk I turned around and headed toward the house, but stopped at the entrance of the barn. "Uncle Jethro?"

"Yeah, sweet pea?"

"Could you maybe give me a refresher with the M&P tomorrow?"

Another long scrape followed. "Anything you want, sweet pea. You know that."

Another compulsion urge swept through me, but this time I didn't feel the need to fight it in the least. "I love you."

"I love you too, honey. Now get yourself in side and unpack."

"Yes, sir."

TBC...

Pic Credit: Marty McBride

Ally's room was exactly how she left it. I emptied the two suitcases before Hannah made an appearance at my door. "Jethro's been chasing off the boys already?"

I grinned at her. "I didn't mind so much."

"Good, you're finally growin' up."

With a shrug of my shoulders I set one empty suitcase inside of the other and zipped it up before storing it away in the back of my closet. "I was already grown up. I just have better taste now."

Without a pause she went for the throat. "Ready to talk about what happened in the city?"

If I'd had anything in my hands at that moment I probably would have dropped it in shock. "Wha… what do you mean?"

Hannah crossed her arms and leaned on the door jamb. "I mean that you lit out of here the day after Christmas like the world couldn't continue to spin if you weren't a big city girl and now here you are six months later, back home. Not that I would want you anywhere else, mind, but somethin' is tellin' me that somethin' ain't right."

A tremor ran through my hands and I knew that the guilt was obvious on my face.

"Ally?"

The springs at the bottom of the bed squeaked when I sat down abruptly. Hannah checked the hallway and then closed the door before coming over and sitting beside me. Her arm fell over my shoulders and pulled me to her as I stared at the hardwood floor and the different area rugs that covered most of the room.

"Sweetie, whatever it is, you can tell me. I wont judge you."

"I know." Hannah was nice like that. She wouldn't judge. "You can't tell Uncle Jethro."

She sighed. "I don't keep secrets from your Uncle, Ally. You know that."

I looked at her, almost pleading. "There's nothing that he can do to fix it and if there's nothin' he can do then he'll drive himself crazy."

Her lips firmed. "Ally, what happened?"

"Promise." I saw that she wasn't going to make a promise that she couldn't keep. "Then at least promise that it's my secret to tell. If he wants to hear then he has to come to me."

I received a nod. "That I can do."

Without any preamble I just let it out. "Six weeks ago I was raped."

Hannah's hand flew up to her mouth with a sharp intake of breath. When I saw her eyes tear up I looked away. "I was window shopping at the stores right next door to the apartment I lived at. The next thing I knew I was in a dark alley and two guys were tearing at my clothes. A third watched, and a fourth tried to stop them, but it was too late."

I wrung my hands at the story I was telling. The guilt tore at my chest that I was telling Ally's story and I was one of the four men that destroyed her life. I didn't deserve the pity that Hannah was about to show me and I damn sure didn't deserve the kindness that her and Jethro had already shown me.

"He didn't get to finish. The fourth guy killed the one that was watching, cut his throat, and he went after the one that was holding me down, but the guy that… that was raping me… he had a gun and shot both of them." I took another breath and realized that I was almost panting at that point. "The police showed up right after and the guy that…" I waved my hand. "He got shot. They're all dead. So you see how Uncle Jethro can't do anything. They got theirs."

"Oh Ally." Hannah started to pull me into a hug but I bolted from the bed. It was wrong on so many levels to accept that from her.

"I'm past it now. It took me a while to get my head together, but everything is fine now." I looked up at her sitting on my bed and then back down again, ashamed of myself. "He didn't have any diseases and I'm not pregnant, but I'm not a virgin anymore either."

I could hear Hannah trying to get control of her breathing before asking a question. "Did he hurt you?"

I swallowed. "There was a little tearing, but the doctors fixed everything fine. No permanent… everything is fine. So see, nothing to worry about and Uncle Jethro doesn't have to know, okay?"

"Alright."

My head shot up in surprise. "Really?"

She nodded. "It would tear him apart if he knew. But you have to promise me something."

"What?"

"I want you to see a doctor…"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I already said I'm fine. The doctors gave me a clean bill of health."

"I'm talkin' about a rape crisis counselor or a psychiatrist."

"What? No! I don't want anyone else to know. It was my fault in the first…"

"Don't you ever say that Allison Susan Baker. It was not your fault!"

The nightmares were back worse than ever, and it wasn't until I woke up in the morning to see Uncle Jethro leaving my room that I realized I was probably screaming again and he'd come in to stay with me for the night.

The clock on my bedside table read four a.m. on the nose. It was most likely the longest I'd slept in six weeks. I don't know how many times I'd seen midnight or two in the morning go by without a thought. If it weren't for the miracle of make up, to disguise the black circles under my eyes, I'd probably be coddled even more. The shower was refreshing and the time spent shaving my legs and underarms cathartic. I was still surprised at how much I'd relied on Ally's memories to get me through the day. If I had to learn all of the girl stuff from scratch, I would have been a basket case by the third day.

With my doctor's recommendation I popped another blister pack birth control pill and swallowed it after brushing my teeth. Even though I had no plans to engage in anything resembling sex in the near future, the thought of bearing a rapist's child made my stomach twist in knots. It was better to be prepared than not.

After blow drying my hair and then braiding it on both sides so that it would hang by my shoulders, I donned my makeup and got dressed. Denim shorts, tee-shirt and a blue plaid cover-up followed by white crew socks and my black, ostrich skin boots. I was working on the theater today. Keeping my mind on other things was top priority for the near future.

Before heading to the kitchen, where hopefully, Hannah hadn't made breakfast for me, I stopped by the game room. And by game room I mean wild game, not pool or snooker. Several deer had lost their lives to decorate the walls of Jethro's game room. Well, that and he actually ate the meat. He wasn't a douche bag about killing deer strictly for the heads and horns.

He had a locked cabinet for his rifles, shotguns, and pistols, one each. Mississippi was a concealed carry state and if you had a hundred dollars and could pass a background check then you too could carry around a hand canon. Ally had been licensed since she was sixteen. Jethro had seen to that. He'd also seen to it that she knew what to do and outfitted her properly. It took me a second to find the proper shoulder holster before I stripped off the cover-up and slipped it on, needing to adjust the straps a little. The last time she wore the holster was when Jethro took her hunting the previous December.

The rifle would take a deer down, the pistol was to finish it off if need be. It was also in case we ran across any predatory wildlife. Coyotes, snakes, wild dogs, boars, pigs, and even the occasional bear wouldn't be out of place in the national forest of southern Mississippi.

I took one of the M&P's. It had a smaller grip which fit my hand fairly well. With it secure in its holster, I scooped up four clips and a box of .45 ammo.

It may sound like Jethro is some survivalist or in lesser terms a gun nut. He wasn't. While he had more weapons than most people have teeth, each served a specific purpose and a specific person. For instance, one doesn't go hunting squirrel with a Beretta 12 gauge over and under. That's a little overkill. That's what the .22 long rifle was for.

Never had squirrel stew? You don't know what you are missing. And just from what Ally remembered, I threw up a little in my mouth. After reading El Goonish Shive, I could never bring myself to hunt squirrel.

Filling all four clips took me a few minutes, mainly because it kept pinching my finger and for some irrational reason I didn't want to break a nail. With two clips in their holders under my left arm, one clip in the pistol itself, and one spare, I pocketed the one remaining clip and ten cartridges and tossed the box into a specific container for reuse. Jethro made his own ammo.

On the way to the kitchen I donned the cover-up again and buttoned it so the pistol wouldn't blatantly show. Anyone that knew anything about carrying weapons would see that I was armed from the bulge. As far as I was concerned, that was a good thing. Perhaps it would make them think twice before doing something monumentally stupid.

Did I need the weapon for my day to day existence in this sleepy little town? Probably not, but knowing what I know now and the utter fragility of my current body, I felt a measure of security in the hunk of metal and ceramic hanging under my left arm.

"Hey Ally." Hannah wisely stayed away from the 'good mornings' that I remember her always greeting Ally with over the last year and a half.

"Hey."

"Hungry?"

I shook my head. Her eyes strayed to the lump under my shoulder. The only thing she had to say to that was, "Got your permit?"

I nodded. "In my purse." Which I sat on the table before heading to the coffee maker.

"Jethro's worried about you."

My hand shook a little as I poured a large mug and added a single sugar. "I figured. What time did I wake you guys up?"

"Eleven."

"Sorry," I almost whispered.

"Don't apologize, sweetheart. You've been through a lot. That's why I wanted you to see someone. They'll help you work through everything that you're feeling."

After taking a sip, I set the mug on the counter for fear of dropping it. "What's been workin' for me is to get my mind off of it and onto something constructive. That way, I don't have to think about it."

Hannah gave me a nod. "Jethro told me about the theater. Where did you get the money for something like that?"

"Investments." It was the truth. Not the whole truth, but still.

She gave that a thought or two. "That would have to be some serious investing. Maybe I ought to let you take some of my savings and see what you can do with it."

I shrugged. "If you want."

"How much would you need?"

I didn't get where she was going with this. One minute we were talking about psychiatrists and then next the stock market. Glancing up at her I laid it out. "If you are serious about making money then nothing less than ten grand. If you are just playing around then about a thousand."

She blinked. "You're serious?"

I nodded. "There's an IPO that will be opening up next Thursday. I'm dropping twenty thousand into it. If things go as I expect then I should see at least a forty percent return minimum."

Hannah jerked her hands away from her mug, not realizing how hot it had gotten. "You're eighteen? How can you know about stuff like this?"

I shrugged again. "I know people who know people. My net worth before I bought into the theater was a hundred and fifty grand give or take. I'm droppin' a load into that and I need to recoup the balance."

"Ten grand though?"

I nodded. "I can show you how to do it online. I'll never touch your money."

"Ally, we trust you…"

"No, no, don't think like that. This is your life savings that we're talking about. Don't trust anyone, family especially. Make an informed decision on your own. That way you have only yourself to blame if it falls through."

"Yeah, I could see how easy it would be to take it out on family," she said thoughtfully. "Is it risky?"

I nodded. "Anything to do with the stock market is risky. You could lose your entire investment."

She was actually thinking about it. "Could I maybe try it out one time and then if it works, go for more later?"

A smile rose on my face. The stock market was like a drug to some people. That initial investment is akin to taking your first hit of pot. You don't know what to expect and you're nervous. You just got to make sure you don't go any further and wind up mainlining heroin. A decent investment analogy would be putting all your eggs in one basket and hoping for the best. That's what I was currently doing.

I had the original ten grand Ally started off with in IRA's. Everything else was on the line with this IPO. I just had to make sure that my investment heroin was quality and not cut with borax or something.

"Wednesday night is when I'm buying in. You can add yours on top of mine if you want. It's a minimum ten grand buy-in, but with mine there, you'd be cool."

"I'll think about it."

With a thoughtful nod, Hannah cleared away the cobwebs of the mind. "What time do you want to head down to the theater?"

"Does the hardware store still open at six?"

She looked at her watch. "Twenty of. You mind if I tag along?"

That gave me a happy. "Not at all. You don't have to fix Uncle Jethro's lunch or something?"

Hannah stood and grabbed her purse from a small table beside the refrigerator. "He always makes sandwiches from the leftovers. I've got a nice pitcher of lemonade in the fridge he can drink too. So it's just us girls today."

I downed the rest of the coffee and rinsed my mug before grabbing my purse and heading out the front door. Jethro was pulling the small tractor out of the barn right when we stepped off of the porch. We waited for him to pull up and kill the motor.

"Heading to the theater?"

Hannah nodded. "You need anything from town?"

He spotted the bulge under my shirt. "No, I'm good. You got your permit, Ally?"

I nodded and patted my purse. He nodded off to the fence line. "See that dead tree there? Bottom branch? Center a full clip in the trunk before that weapon leaves this property."

"Yes sir." I handed Hannah my purse and withdrew the M&P. Breathing out for a second, I pulled the slide back and took the safety off before aiming.

"Both eyes open."

"I remember."

The recoil was a lot more pronounced than I was used to, but then again I was in a weaker body. After adjusting my grip and stance slightly, I popped off the rest of the clip with disappointing results. Two hits, and they weren't even centered.

"You're pulling to your right."

"Yes sir."

I reloaded and stretched out my neck. The next clip saw a marked improvement. Seven out of ten.

"Better."

I nodded and fed the ten spare rounds into the first clip. I had to get this one right or else go hunt down more ammo for my spare clip. Breathing out again, I tried to relax and center myself. Bringing the pistol up, I released the safety and let loose with all ten shots. It wasn't the prettiest I'd ever shot, but they were grouped within a two foot radius of the center.

"Good enough for now. This afternoon I'll break out the targets and we'll burn a couple more boxes though."

I nodded and exchanged one of my spares with the empty in the pistol. That left me with twenty shots and if I needed that many in the first place then I was dead or there were zombies after me. Damn zombies. Shotguns or sniper rifles were better on them anyway. Don't laugh. People always think I kid about those things. But just you wait, come zombie Armageddon, who's gonna be ready?

Twenty minutes later and we were pulling into the slanted parking space in front of the hardware store. Wiggins, being mostly a farming community, was already wide awake, but not exactly bustling. I saw the red light to the open sign turn on. Hannah's truck, another Ford F-250, wasn't as tall as Jethro's, so my drop to the ground wasn't as spine jarring. However, the slide over the side of the seat made my shorts dig up in-between my butt cheeks, which I had to discreetly pick out afterward. I've got to find a better way of getting out of their vehicles.

The cow bells over the door, clanged upon its opening, alerting whoever was inside that there were customers or possibly a stampede of cattle.

"Ally-cat!"

I looked over behind the front counter and let Ally's memories bring up a name and associated history of the person making fun of my name. But that only brought up feelings of safety, kindness, and general lovability about the young man holding a straw broom.

"Brock-a-saurus!" I replied with general happiness. Brock Simpson was the one of my classmates in high school. Except he really didn't belong there. Suffering from Down Syndrome, he was noticeably behind others, education wise. But the teachers wound up graduating him on up grade after grade, passing the buck, so they didn't have to deal with him.

The main problem was that he was always picked on by the bullies and even those that weren't normally bullies. He looked different than them so it was natural to look down upon him, I suppose. The sweetest person that Ally had ever known had taken a likening to her, probably because she never once made fun of him and often stood up for him in front of others. He, in turn, stood up for her.

Brock had always worked at the hardware store with his brother Brett, and was often the muscle that hauled the heaviest things around. If there was one person that could stand up to Jethro, muscle wise, within a hundred miles, it was Brock.

Again I was up in the air being swung around like a rag doll. While comforting in certain ways, it was still disturbing how easily men were able to pick me up.

"Brock, put her down!"

I came to a jarring stop at the sound of his brother, Brett.

"Aww Brett, it's Ally-cat."

I hugged the big lug and saw him frown as he let me down.

"It's okay Brock-a-saurus," I whispered. "You can pick me up again later, okay?"

He smiled, showing many deformed and mal-positioned teeth. "You promise?"

I raised up an eyebrow and gave him a playful glare. "Have I ever broken my word to you Brock-a-saurus?"

"No."

"Well there you go. Only two men can pick me up around here and that's my Uncle Jethro and you.

"You're in good company there, Brock. Let's get back to work now," said Brett.

Cocking my head to the side, I saw that Ally's memories of the other Simpson boy were the same. He was six feet tall, easy. Messy brown hair and eyes… his eyes weren't messy, just his hair. And he was dressed, as usual in loose fitting clothes so nobody could actually see what he looked like.

"Hey Brett."

He nodded, and if he had a hat on I'd swear that he would tip it at me. "Good morning, Ally. It's nice to have you back in town."

I debated whether or not to step in and hug him, but not receiving a compulsion led me to believe I shouldn't. "Thanks. It's nice to be back."

His eyes moved to my Aunt and with a nod he greeted her. "Mrs. Baker."

"Hello Brett," she said with a knowing smile.

He become a little uncomfortable and his boots shuffled. "Business or pleasure today?"

That diverted my attention back to where it was supposed to be. "Business. I'm renovating the theater and I need supplies."

He looked gob-smacked. "You're opening the theater?"

I shook my head. "Turning it into an internet café."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I imagine we'll get a lot of the supplies through here and if you can set me up with a decent contractor that won't rob me blind I'd appreciate it."

"Brock, can you get me my blue book from the office?" he asked his brother.

"You bet."

"Brett looked happy to see you."

"I guess."

We moved the truck a couple of stores down and across the street to the theater.

"He called just an hour after you left for the city. Sounded really disappointed that he missed you."

After unlocking the front door and finding the lights, I looked back at Hannah, suspiciously. "He was always nice to me. I guess it's because I was always nice to his brother."

Hannah snorted. "Yeah, that's probably the reason."

Finally clicking to what she was implying, I shook my head. "I'm not looking for a boyfriend, Aunt Hannah."

I received a shrug in response. "The good ones won't stay available forever."

That brought a frown to my face. "Brett?"

"Uh-huh. His dad will be retiring in a couple of years and leaving the store to Brett. He only comes in to close now." She led the way back to the truck so we could start bringing in the cleaning supplies. "He's got himself forty acres and a double-wide at the old Pierson place. Building his own house on the weekends."

My frown increased. "Should I check his teeth and withers to make sure they're firm enough?"

A bright giggle sounded. "That might not be a bad idea. I suppose he's hiding a nice body underneath those baggy clothes of his."

I appreciated her effort, but right then wasn't the time. "I'm not looking for any men, or women for that matter." At the implied lesbianism, Hannah's eyes went wide with mirth. "So keep your matchmaking reins in for awhile."

The morning was spent doing everything that I knew anything about. I fixed three water taps in the bathrooms, replaced the inner workings of two toilets, tossed the mirrors, and replaced one of the return arms on the bathroom door. By noon I was exhausted. While Ally looked good, she wasn't in good shape. Letting men do all of the hard work and lifting all of her life hadn't done her any favors. It was a wonder I was able to get anything done at all.

"Knock knock!" came a male voice that I knew from this morning.

Sticking my head out of the alcove leading to the bathrooms, I saw Brett and Brock standing there holding two large paper sacks. "Hey guys."

"Ally-cat!"

I giggled a little. "Hey Brock-a-saurus. What are you guys doing here?"

Brett hefted one of the bags. "Girl's got to eat."

I shove my hands in my back pockets and smiled in surprise. "You brought me lunch?"

He looked kind of sheepish for a second. "You and Mrs. Baker. I thought we might catch up."

"Hannah's gone home to check on Uncle Jethro." I looked around for somewhere to eat, but since it was a movie theater there weren't any tables. "We can eat at the concession stand."

There were a few stools behind the counter that would serve in lieu of actual chairs.

Brett looked pleased that Hannah wasn't around. I guess she was right.

"We got Bar-B-Que, Ally-cat." Brock loved gnawing on the ribs. That's why Ally gave him the nickname Brock-a-saurus.

"Sounds great!"

We made our way behind the counter. As Brock was exploring what it was like to be where he'd never been allowed before, Brett and I unloaded the bags onto the counter.

"Sorry about the lack of air conditioning." I flitted a hand in the air. "I think the compressor's fried."

"It's not a problem. I'm used to the heat. Been working a lot outside on the weekends."

I nodded. "That's right. Hannah mentioned that you were buildin' your own house."

Brett's eyes lit up. "I am. Got the old Pierson place at a sweet price."

"That's great."

We doled out food for each of us and then double the amount for his brother's healthy appetite.

"Brock, come eat."

He was there in a flash, but his eyes were still wandering around the deserted theater concession.

The taste of the pulled pork sandwich sent me into heaven for a short time. After my first swallow a delighted moan escaped my mouth. "This is so good, Brett. Thank you for stopping by."

"It's my pleasure."

Sauce leaked out onto my thumb, and being the waste not want not kind of person that I am, I popped it into my mouth to lick it off. That froze Brett in his place for a few moments until I'd pulled my thumb back out. It was obvious that I needed to distract him in some way.

"How far along are you with the new house?"

He blinked his vision clear. "Uh, foundation's laid and the frame is pretty much up."

"Wow, you're moving right along."

He shrugged. "Brock's been helping me a lot."

I spared a glance at the gentle giant who was grinning from the praise and trying to suck the marrow out of the second rib he'd already consumed.

"Is he living with you?"

Brett seemed a little too quick with the answer this time. "Naw, he's with Dad at nights. Helps out with the cows and stuff in the morning before coming to the store. I'd rather he be there to help. Dad's been throwing his back out more and more lately."

I nodded in understanding before trying the potato salad. Heaven, pure heaven.

Idle chit-chat filled the next fifteen minutes before we were finished with the majority. I cleaned up, resealing the leftover food in one bag and the trash in the other which I offered to take care of. Brett handed Brock a set of keys.

"Hey big guy. Why don't you go ahead and I'll meet you at the store, okay?"

Brock grabbed the keys. "Okay. See you around Ally-cat."

"Bye Brock-a-saurus."

Once we were alone, I got decidedly nervous. Not because I thought Brett would hurt me or anything, maybe just the opposite. His ears reddened, and I could see he was trying to get the nerve to say something. I took that chance to use one of the wet-wipes to clean the sticky sauce out from under one of my nails. I swear those things could pick up the slightest amount of dirt.

"Uh, the fourth's this weekend."

I looked up and nodded. "Sunday."

"Uh-huh." His hand tightened around the paper bag he was holding. "I was wondering… if maybe… they're having a fireworks show out in Briar Park, over the water. If you didn't have a date or anything, I wondered if you might want to go with me?"

I was about to inform him of my non-dating status, but right then another dammed compulsion overcame me and I almost blurted out. "Yes!"

"Really?"

I was just as shocked as Brett was, really. Then words just started falling out of my mouth. "You could show me your new house too. If you want, I mean."

Energy filled him, and I visibly saw him stand straighter. "Yeah, that would be great. Maybe we could go out to dinner or something first."

"Okay."

"Okay. Um, great. Say about three on Sunday afternoon? I'll pick you up at your place?"

"Okay." I seemed to be stuck saying that since nothing else intelligible was exiting my mouth.

"Great." Yes, it's all great. I'm going on a date, with a guy. Groan. "I guess I'll see you then."

To my surprise he leaned in and kissed me on my cheek before sheepishly disappearing out the door.

Maybe this whole inhabiting the body of an innocent girl so her family didn't have to suffer through another tragedy thing wasn't such a good idea.

"She is with her parents and doesn't want to leave them. They're happy now."

I looked on at the angel that really didn't seem to be that much of an angel since she was dressed in a skimpy denim number, showing so much leg that it would tempt the most pure-hearted man into lusty thoughts.

"What am I supposed to do about it?"

She crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair. "You could take her place."

The bullet hole I'd received through my chest in life had followed me through to the afterlife as well. It was annoying, since every time I took a breath, I heard a faint whistle. "You mean like reincarnation?"

The angel shook her head. "Not exactly. We would put you back, except it would be in her body."

Energy seemed to be sucked out of me at that point. "But… but… I don't know how to be a girl. I'm a guy!"

"We would allow you to have access to her memories. While it might be unusual to experience two lifetimes worth of memories, one being female, it is still doable. Additionally, we would instill compulsions that would make you act and sound like Allison. That way you don't expose yourself accidentally. Once you are comfortable in your new body those compulsions would fade."

I was quickly running out of options. "What am I supposed to do?"

The angel shrugged. "That is your choice. You still have free will. However your choices are limited. You can either spend quite a long time here in Limbo trying to work through your guilt in the escapade that brought you here, or you can go back to the mortal world and perform a penance that would be acceptable to you."

Both choices had a serious downside. "If only I didn't…"

The angel sighed. "James, I cannot convince you as to what part you played in the death of Allison Baker. That guilt is your own. Contrary to what most theologies state, guilt and sin are applied to one's self, through one's self. Only you can rid yourself of this anchor that ties you to Limbo."

Penance was due, any way I looked at the situation. It was the only way I could live with myself. "Okay."

"Ally?" I blinked back to awareness to see Hannah standing in front of me with a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?"

"Oh hey. I didn't see you come in."

She gave me a soft laugh. "I guess so. You were totally out of it." She stopped and looked around, then sniffed the air. "Is that Bar-B-Que I smell?"

"Uh, yeah. Brett and Brock stopped by with lunch."

"Oh really?" Now she seemed more interested.

"Yeah. Apparently I have a date for the fireworks show this Sunday."

"Ahh, now I see what has you off in the clouds."

My eyelids dropped, half closed in a threatening leer. "Don't even start. He was nice enough to bring me lunch. I thought it would be rude to turn him down."

"Uh-huh."

TBC...

Pic Credit: Marty McBride

The general contractor came by later that afternoon and we went over the changes that had to be done. By four I was dragging with the last bits of energy I possessed while Hannah drove us home.

"We'll need to go into the city to find you a nice dress for this weekend."

"Hmm?" I brought my attention back from looking at the billions of pine trees that lined every road in southern Mississippi, and back to Hannah.

"A dress. The city. Your date?"

I still wasn't getting it. "I thought I'd wear one of my skirts and…"

"Oh no no no. You're going to be laying under the stars with one of the better catches of Stone County. There's no way I'm letting you out of that house in anything that doesn't say, take me now, I'm yours."

"If you don't mind, I'd rather not be taken under the stars, or anywhere else for that matter."

Her eyes widened and I could see Hannah mentally kicking herself. "I'm sorry. That's wasn't what I meant. I shoulda thought first."

I sighed. "Aunt Hannah, I'm not psychologically frail, or a man hater because of what happened. Yeah, I'm nervous when I'm around men I don't know and I darn sure don't want to go back to the city by myself, but that's pretty much it. That's why I'm carrying the M&P now."

"But…"

"Really. I just don't know if I want to seriously date anytime soon. I've been going through some changes, and sex just isn't a priority in my life." The turn off to the ranch was around the next curve. "Brett is a nice guy though," I said absently.

Hannah smiled. "Yes he is. You could do worse."

I nodded. And we came to another life defining choice to make. It was hard enough to voluntarily choose to be a girl along with everything that it entailed. But dating led to kissing, and kissing led to petting, which led to sex. Sex led to a relationship, engagement, marriage, babies… I just didn't know if that was something that I could do. It's all well and good to insert myself into those people's lives to save them from serious heartache, but to actually be Allison Baker… to make the choices that she would have made was impossible. Eventually I'd have to lead my own life, whatever that meant.

After dinner and dishes, I went and drew a hot bath in hopes that I could meditate on the choices that I would have to make. I put my hair up and slipped a shower cap over my head. Dealing with long hair just wasn't in the cards for the evening. Maybe the following morning.

The heat of the water and the bath beads soothed my sore and overused muscles. After I scrubbed down and shaved a little here and there, I leaned back and just enjoyed the silence.

Laying there, I kind of went through an odd sort of déjá  vu into Ally's past. Her doing the exact same thing the day of her senior prom. Robbie was her date. She was really nervous about the evening, wondering if she could restrain herself from the tradition of a girl losing her virginity on prom night.

Of course, she was very familiar with her body and had pleasured herself quite often over the previous years. For purely noble reasons, and to save herself from being overly stimulated for the evening, she took things well in hand and eased the tension she was feeling.

What may come as a surprise to most people was that over the last six weeks, I hadn't truly explored Ally's body in that way. Not only was I full of guilt about the part I played in her death, but I was guilty about feeling any sort of pleasure at all. A self-imposed punishment if you will. This was her body. I was just taking it on loan to try and make some sort of amends. I didn't have the right to invade the one place in her life that should have been hers alone until such time as she chose to share it with the man or woman of her choice. Who was I kidding? Ally was one hundred percent heterosexual. Girls didn't do anything for her. Maybe that's why I wasn't attracted to them anymore.

I thought it was the angel that did something to me, or that maybe my own guilt had castrated the male portion of my brain. I just didn't know what to think.

Certain guys did catch my eye, but that was for entirely different reasons. Jethro was obviously very handsome, but he felt like a father figure to me. Ally's next door neighbor in the city was more like a kid brother. Robbie had turned into a sexist jerk. And now there was Brett.

While I had no intention of dating him regularly, Ally's portion of my brain daydreamed what it would be like to kiss him and hold his hand under the stars and explosions of fireworks. He wasn't aggressive as most of the boys she'd known in high school. That was probably why he wasn't even on her relationship radar. But now that he'd wound up the courage to ask her out… ask me out, there he was bleeping away.

Briar Park came to mind. Ally had been there numerous times to see the show, and each time had been with her family or when she turned sixteen, with her boyfriend at the time. It was romantic, so there was no escaping that aspect. That meant whether I wanted it or not, there would probably be a kiss or two involved at some point Sunday night.

Would I go through with it? Would one of those stupid compulsions make me kiss him or would I finally be able to determine my own fate?

It was just a kiss. Just like any of a thousand I'd participated in with several girls over the years. It didn't mean anything… much.

I sighed and ran a hand over my leg, letting it fall where it may, on my abdomen.

Get it over it in your head, Jimmy, Ally, whatever my name is. Then maybe you won't be so freaked about it when it happens.

Brett's face came up again. Both of us standing there in front of the door to the theater when he leaned in for a kiss on my cheek. Instead this time, I turned into him and met his lips straight forward. Sensory memories provided by the Ally portion of my brain took over and I open my mouth to accept him into me.

Ally wasn't an aggressive French kisser. She liked it better with his tongue in her mouth instead of the other way around. I didn't seem to mind so much either. A few seconds later Brett backed off and we separated. There simple, and it wasn't awful either. It was just nice.

Reality came swimming back to me and I jerked my hand away from its place nestled between my legs. Enough of the bath. Taking baths was obviously bad. Showers only from now on.

Jethro was as good as his word and after I got out of my bath we went outside and blew off another hundred rounds of ammo. By the time we were finished, my hand was aching and my forearms were involuntarily vibrating from constantly fighting the recoil, but I hit what I was aiming at more often than not.

He walked through the cleaning and oiling of the weapon before I stashed it away in its holster and hung it up behind my bedroom door.

The next morning, Hannah and I went through my wardrobe and tried to decide on an outfit for Sunday night. I really wasn't ready for a field trip to the city. But try as we might, Hannah didn't find anything that she liked, and since I wasn't really in the mood, we set aside the task until later.

I gave her several website addresses so she could research her part of the investment I was planning, and then I got a bug to go riding. Ally was very experienced on a horse and I hadn't ever been, so it was with mixed emotions that I entered the horse barn.

Three horses were currently housed in the barn, more often than not. These were ours. The others were meant to be broken and sold off. Ally's was a chestnut colored Morgan Horse named Penny. It was actually Shiny Penny, due to her coloring, but Ally wound up shortening it.

My biggest fear was that Penny wouldn't recognize me, but that wasn't to be. Her head stuck out to see who was coming and I received a snort in response.

"Hey Penny girl."

I grabbed a brush before I reached the pen and saw that Penny had her back turned to me.

"You aren't mad at me for disappearing on you for so long are…" I was interrupted with a swat in the face from her tail. "Okaaay, I guess you are."

I clicked my tongue which got her attention. Then I produced an apple. "Uh-huh. Who's your momma now."

She snorted again, just to let me know that she wasn't completely satisfied, but that it was a decent peace offering. I got head-butted a little, until I provided said offing properly. Reaching up, I ran my hand over her mane and down her forehead. "Want to go for a ride girl?"

Her eyes flicked to me, but she was still destroying the apple so she didn't say anything. I opened up the pen door and stepped inside to brush her down. Contrary to popular belief and hundreds of cowboy movies, you don't just toss a saddle on a horse and you're magically ready to ride. You have to brush them down, before and after. This gets rid of any dirt, dust, and any lingering bugs that might cause irritants while saddled.

This was news to me. I just let Ally's memory do its thing.

Once she was brushed, I returned with a clean saddle pad that went on first. Then the hard part came next. The leather saddle didn't weigh that much, maybe fifteen or twenty pounds, but it was awkward with my tiny hands and short stature.

Penny was fourteen point two hands tall. To those of you uninitiated, that means a little under five feet. About four-ten, from front hoof to her withers, that's where the bottom portion of her mane stops. So needless to say, with me being a petite five-two, I had problems.

Luckily I had a stool. Penny didn't give me any problems. She was probably as eager to get out and run a little as I was. Once she was strapped in I quickly attached the bridle and led her out into the interior of the barn.

"Who's the good girl?" I urged. In return I received a nose in the butt. Apparently I had a horse with an attitude. Wonderful.

I needed another step-stool to hop into the saddle. Once I was secure, boots firmly in the stirrups, and hands gripping the reins, I clucked my tongue. "We're going through the south pasture today girl."

Starting off with an easy trot, I tugged a little to the left and let Penny have her rein. It only took a minute or two for her to warm up and then we were off in a canter, moving along about fifteen to twenty miles an hour, roughly.

Two things a rider really needs to look out for in the summer are snakes, and armadillo holes. The latter are easily spotted because armadillos are very messy when they dig; dirt gets all over the place. Since southern Mississippi is mostly clay, all you have to look for is mounds of red dirt. Snakes are a different matter. That's why I had my pistol with me.

It didn't take too long to traverse the lower hundred where the other horses make their home. Penny slowed and performed a collected trot. If you've see the fancy horses that they have at shows then you know what I'm talking about, all high stepping and horse haughtiness. I just giggled and ruffled her mane. "Quit showing off to the plebes."

There was a portion of the back fence where two gates are located. If you are riding, you can easily open one and then the other to exit the ranch without letting the wild horses escape, which I utilized.

Why was I leaving the confines of the ranch? I had no idea. Maybe I just wanted to get the feel of the area that I hadn't actually seen yet. Relying too much on Ally's memories didn't make me feel too comfortable. I liked the idea of making a few new ones of my own.

After checking to see if there was any traffic coming I crossed the black pavement of two-lane Highway 15 and entered a pasture where the fence line had fallen. Working Penny up to an easy trot, I surveyed the land. It was somewhat familiar, but I knew Ally hadn't been as far as I had already gone. Another five minutes and I heard some banging off in the distance.

"Where are you taking me girl?"

Penny snorted and motioned her head forward, giving a little whinny at the end.

I laughed. "Can you understand me now?" Throwing a little caution to the wind. "Okay, go on."

Taking the reins in one hand, I grabbed a hold of the saddle horn and stood slightly so I could flex my legs. Penny was off in a shot at full gallop. She tore up the ground as I leaned into her, feeling the shear strength of the creature between my legs. When we reached the top of the rise, she slowed to a stop and then reared back, whinnying loud and strong. It was then that I spotted a newly framed house on a newly laid foundation. That didn't really compare to the shirtless figure that was sitting atop the roof, nailing something into something else.

"Show off."

Penny snorted and performed another collected trot over to some fresh grass that looked like it needed to be eaten. Yeah, it was Brett's new place and the tanned, well-muscled figure that was descending the ladder was none other than Brett himself.

Leaning in to Penny's flickering ear, I whispered, "What is it with you and Hannah. Is it a conspiracy?"

I freed my boots and swung my leg up and over Penny's head so I could slide down the side of the saddle. After checking to make sure the saddle was comfortably sat, I let go of the reins. "Don't go anywhere, traitor."

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you today."

I turned around and my throat tightened at seeing what Brett was hiding underneath all his loose clothes all the years Ally had known him. Apparently it was Achilles. "Uh…"

I've been checking out girls since I was twelve. I'm a master of the looking without appearing to look maneuver. And this made sense. Girls were hot and they had bits that boys didn't. Very nice bits. But I was quickly learning that from a girl's perspective, boys had some very nice bits of their own.

Brett chuckled a little. "You okay? I saw your horse rear back there. Hi-ho Silver and all that."

I finally got my hormones under control enough to answer without appearing like a total idiot. "She was just showing off."

A snort came from behind me.

He looked around me for a second. "Can I look at her?"

"Sure. She's not skittish."

Brett approached Penny and ran his hand along her withers. "She's beautiful. What's her name?"

"Penny."

He smiled and looked back at me. "Cute. Her color is just like a new penny."

"Yeah." I was quickly finding myself without anything to say. It was a new experience talking to boys. Somehow I don't think he would be impressed to find out that I knew the scores to the previous night's baseball games.

While he stroked Penny's mane he looked at me. "So, were you out riding and just so happen to come across the new place or did you need to talk about something?"

"Uh…" God, I must seem like a total freak. "Would you believe Penny led me straight here?"

His grin widened. "Not in the slightest."

Brett was comfortable on his home turf and it showed. Me, not so much. I straightened my back a little and gave him a haughty look. "Well, that's what happened."

Making a quick escape, I spun on my heel and went to check out Brett's progress on his house. It took me a minute to figure out where the front door was supposed to be.

"Can I give you a tour?" I nodded at his question and he held out a hand for me, so I could step up onto the high foundation.

"Thank you."

There was something to be said for country raised gentlemen. Being reared as a male in the city, I would have second guessed myself. For the most part, girls had a hard time accepting any man's help. As a petite girl, I recognized the need. Yeah, I could have made it up the simple twelve to fifteen inches of concrete, but there was the chance I would have fallen awkwardly. It was better to accept the offer of assistance. And strange as it may seem, I liked having my doors opened, and things carried for me. Femininity suited me.

That was something I would have never admitted if my being in a girl's body were publicly known. There were some things that I didn't like. Just like everything else in the world, there were pitfalls to every side. I didn't like feeling defenseless. But I did like it when Jethro came to my defense with Robbie. I didn't like being the shortest person in the room. But I did like it when I stood next to Jethro or Brett. It made me feel like I could just snuggle up to them. Ahem.

"This is the foyer, and over here is the sitting room." We stepped through places where doors or entrance ways would be as he walked me around the house.

As I followed Brett around, I couldn't keep my eyes off of his well defined back. He wasn't bulging muscles, but he was very firm and I could see exactly how easy it would be to cross that line into too much muscle. In some ways, I was disturbed about how fascinating I found the small of his back arching inward and trim, no sign of love handles at all, and his abdominal muscles on the side were hard. The only thing that was holding his Wrangler jeans up was the swell of his compact butt filling them out. Every once in a while I saw the top of his jeans shift and the color change of his dark tanned skin to the white that was hidden underneath made me think about how he would look if they weren't there at all.

Man, I really needed to take the edge off of my hormones. That made me stop for a second and frown. I counted off certain days on my fingers and came to the realization that this week was the time of the month that I was ovulating. Wonderful.

"Is something wrong?"

Startled out of my thoughts of drowning in estrogen. "Oh, no. I just realized something."

"What?" Brett looked somewhat concerned, like I didn't like the house or something equally as benign.

I grinned and if the sun wasn't making my cheeks red already then the blush I was experiencing surely would have. "Nothing."

He gave me a curious glance, and I tried to reassure him. "It's nothing bad, really." Well, as long as you weren't an ovulating girl that is eying up a man with thoughts of satisfying carnal desires, then it's not bad. Thank god I was taking birth control pills. I really didn't know if I had as firm of a grasp on my chastity as Ally did. In fact, if Brett decided to do something about it at that moment then I didn't know if I wouldn't just go ahead and let him.

"Okay."

"It looks great, Brett. I can't believe you've done this all by yourself."

He looked a little sheepish, but proud. "Brock's helped out a lot."

I stuffed my hands in my back pockets and smiled. "I don't see him around at the moment."

He reached up and ran a hand through his messy hair. "He's helping Dad train someone new at the store, so I don't have to spend all of my time there.

"Ah." I looked around for a second and then thought that I needed to get out of there before I did something stupid. "Well, I'll let you get back to work. I'm sure you don't have enough time to spend on the house as you'd like."

His boots shuffled and he jerked himself to a stop. "You don't have to leave."

I watched the play of emotions on his face, knowing the feeling of wanting a pretty girl to stick around, even if it was only to watch. Giving him a pleased smile, I reached out and set my hand on his forearm. "You need to work, and I'm distracting you."

Brett's own grin stretched wide and playfully. "But it's a good kind of distraction."

We both stood there, slightly embarrassed at our banter. "You're going to be a handful, aren't you."

"If you let me," he replied hopefully.

He escorted me to the front 'door' and hopped down to give me an assisting hand.

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

Penny sidled up, sensing that we were about to leave. I gave her a brush on her nose and grabbed the reins before turning around. Brett was less than two feet away. "See you tomorrow?"

He nodded, and I felt an big push from Penny's head, right on my butt. It threw me forward and into Brett's arms. My hands found purchase on his pectoral's. They were warm, firm, and slightly sweaty, but I didn't seem to mind in the least.

I swung my head around. "It's the glue factory for you, missy."

Penny, blew at me, fluttering her lips loudly.

Brett didn't let go, and I wasn't sure I wanted him to.

"You okay?" he almost whispered.

I smiled coquettishly. "Her and my Aunt Hannah apparently have some pact to get me into your arms."

His head tilted slightly, pleased with that. "I gotta say, I like the way they think."

My fingers tensed and almost kneaded the hard muscle underneath my hands while my thumbs seemed perfectly placed over his nipples. Yep, it was a conspiracy.

Before I knew it, Brett leaned down and brushed his lips, tentatively across mine, testing the road to see if I was willing for more.

Admittedly, I was unsure about the whole thing, but something inside me, that wasn't a compulsion, opened my own lips and accepted him. He tasted like clean sweat, and outdoors. I squeezed and ran my thumbs across his nipples as the kiss deepened its intensity. I received his tongue willingly and somewhat eagerly, circled it with my own.

I felt his hands dig into my hips while my own slid up his smooth skin, up to his neck, pulling him into me for more. Losing myself into the moment was more than satisfaction. It was desire awakened. Somewhere in my head I sighed at feeling something other than guilt at my continued existence. Which of course, reminded me that I should be atoning for my sins and not playing with the first boy that came along. Not that he was the first boy… the second actually. Either way. I had to stop myself.

Slowing the kiss to a close, I gradually let go of his neck and felt myself ease down off the balls of my feet, disconnecting our lips with regret that I couldn't continue.

I opened my eyes and felt my face flush with need. "I better go."

He nodded. "Tomorrow."

I nodded. "Uh-huh."

Before I did something we'd both probably not regret in the slightest I stepped out of his arms and wished I was about six inches taller. "Give me a boost?"

Brett smiled and laced his fingers together so I could climb atop Penny. He handed me the reins while I got settled. Before I had the chance to jump back to the ground, Penny swung around and lunged into a full gallop, back the way we came.

Penny was brushed watered and I filled her feed trough before going into the house to clean up. After changing into shorts, tank, and work boots, I went off to find Aunt Hannah in her sewing room.

"Working at the theater again?"

I nodded. "Mind dropping me off?"

The whirring of her sewing machine slowed to a stop. "Keys are on the hook by the back door. Go ahead and take my truck; I won't be needing it today."

Hannah letting Ally borrow her truck wasn't unprecedented, but it was unlikely, which surprised me. "Don't look all shocked. You're going to work. There's a difference between joy riding with your girlfriends and using one of the trucks for something productive."

"Thank you."

She nodded, her attention already back onto whatever it was she was working on. "Uh-huh. Just bring it back in one piece."

"Yes, ma'am."

I've found being short, sucks when you drive. I had to move the seat almost all the way forward so I could reach the gas pedal, which made me look like a little old lady staring through the steering wheel. Now all I needed was a couple of phone books to sit on and I'd be fine. Okay, it wasn't really that bad, but it was darn close.

Twenty minutes later and I was back again in the high pressure hustle and bustle of downtown nowheresville. Traffic was unbelievably heavy -- meaning that I had to wait about fifteen seconds for someone to back their car out of a parking space until I could drive on. Doubts about the viability of a coffee house began drifting through my head.

I was dripping with sweat by the time I got the burned out air conditioner compressor detached and replaced with one of the ones from the two other units that fed into the theaters themselves. It sucked doing the work myself, but after an hour and a half, I just saved myself about three hundred and fifty bucks it would have cost me if I called in a AC tech. A penny saved is a penny earned. Needless to say, I reveled in the cool breeze that was being blown into the lobby.

As I made my way across the lobby to close the outer doors I noticed a few familiar faces -- familiar to Ally, that is.

"Ally Baker! We heard that you were back in town."

Once I recalled from Ally's memory who the three girls were, I nearly groaned. "Hello Stephanie. Loretta, Marissa."

To call them Ally's rivals in high school was giving them too much credit. It was more akin of them wanting to outdo Ally and Ally not really caring about anything they had to do or say. Stephanie, the tall bottle-blonde, took my sweaty and slightly grimy condition in and wrinkled her nose.

"We heard that you were opening up the old theater." She spoke more at me than to me while her eyes roved the dust covered lobby. "You do know that everyone goes down to D'Iberville and Gulfport, where the real theaters are, to watch movies."

I smiled sweetly. "Of course. I haven't been gone that long Stephanie."

Her smile returned to me in triumph. "Couldn't handle living in the big city? Get scared and had to run back to mommy?" She stopped and held a hand to her mouth with melodramatic shock. "Whoops, sorry. Mommy's dead isn't she.

I stared at her for a second. It wasn't that I was stunned into shock over the deaths of Ally's mother and father. It was just the whole point of the thing. I kind of consider it bad taste when the dead are insulted. It's not like they can defend themselves or anything.

I gave her a confused look, basically showing that what she said was retarded. "Was there anything intelligent you had to say, Stephanie? See, I'm actually working here and not sponging off the people I live with."

Her face went blank. Loretta and Marissa's looked to their friend to see if she'd be able to come back with anything worthwhile, but as always, Stephanie's brain couldn't refute the obviousness of the truth. She was a sponge to her family while she waited around for someone to marry and take care of her.

I just rolled my eyes and closed the door.

I really wasn't planning on going to church the next morning, but the look Hannah gave me was akin to implying I was a heretic if I didn't. While she wasn't as fire and brimstone as some of the people I'd met before, she was devout in her belief that there was a really old man in the sky that had a plan for each and every one of us.

Dressing for the occasion was simple enough: a white sundress and matching sandals. Luckily enough, my toes weren't painted harlot red, but a pale pink color. It's amazing what happens at night when I zone out, thinking about my life and the decisions that led me to where I was. Before I knew it, my toenails and fingernails were painted and I was blowing on them. It almost made me think that Allison was still there with me, because I'd never think to do something like that on my own. The only way I could rationalize doing things like that was to remember that she had control of this body for almost eighteen years. Certain things were done automatically.

Do you have to actually have to put conscious effort in finding your way to the bathroom in the morning to pee? Do you actually think about washing each body part in the shower? Do you pay attention to the long stretch of road you drove every single day? No, you did those things automatically. They were so ingrained into your everyday life that you don't think about them anymore, you just do them. Maybe Allison painted her nails when she went all introspective. It could happen.

We sat in the pews and I listened to the service, nay-saying bits here and there, because I knew they were wrong or at the very least, not right. It wasn't until after all of that I spotted Margie Simpleton walking up to me in her floral… whatever that was she was wearing. Anyone that can wear long sleeves and a closed collar with a dress that hangs down to where you can barely see the tips of her shoes, was certifiable. That, and the silly sun hat. It was the deep south, the middle of summer, and it was already ninety-three degrees out at nine in the morning. Insanity I tell you.

"Hello again, Ally Baker." She showed me her pristine dentures. I wondered if she had just bought them and was proud or something. That's a sin you know… pride. Pride was the sin, not having new dentures.

"Good morning, Mrs. Simpleton. Did you enjoy the service?" I tried to be as cordial as I could. Old people tend to be well connected. It wouldn't do for me to insult any of them considering I was opening a business in their town.

Margie waved her hand. "Reverend Pierce used that one four times that I know of. He recycles his old sermons. Seeing that I've been coming to this little church since my youth, I've heard them all before." She nodded to my aunt and uncle. "Hannah, Jethro, always good to see you."

"Mornin', ma'am," said Jethro as he unbuttoned the upper most button on his dress shirt.

Margie set her hand on my arm. "Mind if I steal, Ally from you for a moment. I'll bring her right back."

Hannah grinned. "Of course not. Ally, we'll be at the truck. Take your time."

Great. She led me to the sidewalk in front of the church where we stood just out of the way on the grass so others could walk past on the way to their cars.

"I hear tell that you and Brett have gone a courtin'"

I blinked and swung my head around. "What?"

She grinned knowingly. "It's a small town, Ally, and Brett is my great grandson. Not much goes on around here that I don't know about."

I'm sure I looked the idiot at the moment. "Sorry, you took me by surprise. I didn't think…"

Taking my hand, Margie patted it. "Don't go frettin' girl. I just thought you should know that Brett's been holding a torch for you for years and I don't want him getting hurt, if you catch my meaning."

"I…" I shook my head not knowing what to say.

"I've been hearing good things about you over the years. Brock has nothing but grand things to say about his Ally-cat." Smiling at me again, I felt my cheeks redden slightly. It might have the sun bearing down at the moment, but I doubted it. "It takes a kind heart to treat a boy like Brock with common humanity."

"There's nothing wrong with Brock. He's always been nice to me and…"

She cut me off again. "You and I both know that ain't the truth. He's been a test to this community by God, and I'm sorry to say that most have probably failed, but I've seen something different from you, Ally Baker. You can be sure that you are in His good graces."

Clearing my throat, I collected myself. "I'm not nice to Brock because I see it as a test, Mrs. Simpleton. And I'm not so sure about me being in God's graces, good or not."

She looked at me questioningly, almost amused. "What an odd thing to say." Taking in the morning air through her nose, she patted my hand again. "I need to get to shoppin' before the parking lot at Wal-Mart fills up. Take care of my great-grandson, Ally. Brett has a kind heart. You two would make some very pretty babies."

My body froze except for my eyes which almost bugged from my head. Mrs. Simpleton grinned and lightly laughed. "I was young once too, Ally Baker."

On the way over to the truck, Hannah spotted me and opened the door right before I got there so I could climb up. "Ally, you look like you're going to be sick. Are you okay?"

I swallowed, but nodded. "Uh, yeah. I'm trying to get the image of Mrs. Simpleton having sex out of my head."

I mean the woman had to be in her mid to late-eighties if I was a day old.

"Guh…" I felt the bench seat shake from Jethro's shudder. Hannah smacked him on the arm.

"Behave."

TBC...

Pic credit: Marty McBride

Hannah insisted on spending half the afternoon going through her closet this time, in search of the perfect dress for my date with Brett. I was basically thinking something cool would be nice, so I didn't sweat my butt off out there. She had other ideas.

I shook my head at the black suede skirt. "No. Do you want me to die of dehydration and heat exhaustion?"

Hannah frowned. "Guys like the smell of leather and suede, Ally."

I giggled. "No, Uncle Jethro likes that smell."

Sticking her tongue out at me, she disappeared back into her closet and returned with a long broom skirt. I didn't really know what a broom skirt was, but Allison's brain brought forth the name and I just accepted it. "Uh, no. Something cooler, it's hot out there."

With a frown she disappeared again and returned a moment later with… hmm. I hopped off the bed and grabbed the light blue dress. Holding it up in front of me while I looked into the mirror, I cocked my head to the side, and grinned. "I think this is the one. Be right back."

"Ally, where are you going?"

Stopping at the door, I turned around. "I need to see if I have the boots to match."

"Boots? I think you're supposed to wear heels with that."

This time it was me who raised my eyebrows. "Heels? At Briar Park? No chance." I'd fall on my butt with the first step.

With the dress clutched to my breast I ran into my room and stripped bare, well, except for my panties and slipped on the dress. It dropped down covering about three-quarters of my thighs and had embroidery at the neckline with those fake smiley pockets above my breasts. Seeing as it was sleeveless, I was pretty sure I'd be as cool as possible, and it was very cute with its empire waist.

With a happy skip I plundered my closet in search of the proper boots and came up with a pair I'd only worn a few times. If you can believe it, blue Musago python skin, pointy toed.

"Perfect."

Socks went on and then the boots right after.

"Well, aren't you a picture," Hannah stated, her own grin matching mine. "Brett won't know what hit him smack between the eyes."

That's when it all came rushing back at me like a freight train. I was acting like a giddy school-girl all excited because of a date with a boy. I stilled and my grin faded away. A look into the mirror showed how pretty I was, and how scared I was as well.

"Hey," Hannah sounded concerned. "What's wrong?"

My brow crinkled. "This is too much. Maybe I ought to wear jeans instead." Loose jeans, and maybe I should shave my head while I was at it.

"You're kidding, right?"

I looked at her and I knew fear showed in my eyes. "This is a bad idea, Aunt Hannah."

She came up to me and I could tell she was concerned, but she hid it, trying to bolster my confidence. "Nonsense. Brett is a perfect gentleman. You'll be safe as houses bein' with him."

How could I tell her it really wasn't my being safe that was my chief concern. I was lonely, guilt-ridden, and since I hadn't taken care of things in a self-sexual way from the beginning of this fiasco, I was on edge, if you get my meaning. Around any other guy I seemed to be perfectly fine, but when I was around Brett, it was like something in him called to me. I was seriously not prepared for going on a date with him let alone in a romantic setting under the stars. Well, I might as well just say it.

"It's not him I'm worried about. It's me."

Hannah mulled that thought around in her head for a moment. "Have you, um… taken care of yourself since the… thing?"

Thank God we were both on the same frequency. "No."

She bit the inside of her lip and nodded. "Well, as you already know, Jethro is out in the back hundred today, and I need to go tend the garden behind the barn. I'll probably be out there for at least an hour. Could you maybe come and get me if the phone rings, 'cause you know I can't hear a thing out there. You better hurry up with your bath so you'll have time to get ready for Brett."

Without another word, I was left alone in my bedroom and the door was closed.

I went on automatic again, just letting my body go through the motions gathering fresh panties and making my way to the bathroom, letting the warm water run and sprinkling fresh scented bath salt in the water. Without a conscious thought I put my hair up into a shower cap and stepped into the bath.

The whole situation was ridiculous. I'd done this countless times, virtually every morning in the shower when I was a man. Now I was a young woman and I never touched myself except for sanitary purposes. Now, here I was, nervous.

Stretched out in the tub, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly afterward. This was wrong. I shouldn't even be thinking of dating, or sex, or masturbating. It was my fault that the real Allison Baker couldn't be here. If I'd only kept my stupid mouth shut, she'd be going about her life and I'd be going about mine.

What I was feeling even more guilty about was deceiving Hannah and Jethro. They were good people and here I was impersonating their niece, and I was enjoying it. It felt good to work with my hands again instead of sitting behind a desk making other people rich. It felt good to come to this lazy town in the middle of nowhere and ride Penny, and hug Jethro, and help Hannah in the kitchen.

It felt good to be tossed up in the air by Brock and seeing the gentle giant smile with the simple pleasure. But most of all it felt good to be asked out by Brett, Penny nosing me into his arms and feeling the curve of his muscled chest under my fingers. And his lips, God his lips…

I felt lost before, but when he kissed me I was safe and warm. The taste of him on my lips, the scent of outdoors and good clean sweat in the mix. It… it… oh my God.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my…" Pulsing waves washed outward in concentric circles, growing stronger with each swell, pushing me further into oblivious bliss. My teeth clenched and I held back the scream that was building up from inside, muffling it into a whimper.

~O~

My face was glowing and it was really screwing with my makeup efforts. I couldn't meet my own eyes. Yes, the guilt was still there, but I was in better control of my hormones, which could only be a good thing considering that I can achieve an orgasm simply thinking about a kiss between Brett and me. I couldn't imagine what could or would happen if we actually went beyond that.

Thinking back to Allison's last night in town with Robbie in the bed of his father's truck. She was biting at the bit to control herself. Robbie's hands were on her bare breasts and trying their best to get up under Allison's skirt. She wanted it. She wanted satisfaction, but she knew that they'd never last, that it would only be sex and nothing more. That's the only thing that saved her virginity. Some serious dry humping got him off inside his jeans, and didn't give her anything more than a sore spot between her legs the next morning.

Hannah was not pleased. She'd thought that Allison had gone all the way by the way she hobbled to breakfast that morning. When Jethro left to feed the cattle, Allison had to explain exactly what happened. Hannah still wasn't pleased, but accepted that her niece had shown some restraint at least.

She came inside, sweaty and dust laden giving me the once over. "You look good, better."

My face reddened at the thought that she knew what I was doing only thirty minutes before.

A smile graced her lips. "Ally, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm not that backward thinking." Seeing that wasn't really helping she decided to go overboard just to show me she was hip or whatever. "If you want we can go into the city tomorrow. I know of a place where we can get a few things that might help you keep… um, level."

I blinked. Was she talking about going to a sex toy store? "Uh, no thanks. I have things well in hand… I mean…" I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole if that sort of thing was possible.

"I know what you mean. If you change your mind just say the word. There's nothing to be hung up about."

The sound of a truck coming up the drive saved me from stuttering like a five year old. "He's here." Now I had all new things to worry about!

I grabbed my purse and then saw Hannah's inquiring eye. "Why do you have your big purse?"

It wasn't that big, just normal sized. "I can't wear my shoulder holster with this outfit."

Her eyes widened. "You're taking a gun with you on your date?"

Well, when she says it like that it sounds like a bad thing. "Um, yeah."

She looked like she wanted to complain, but held herself back, inherently knowing when to cut her losses. "Just remember to only drink out of sealed containers. Don't trust anything that someone hands you."

I nodded at the good advice. "I know. I'll be okay. I trust Brett."

The knock came sooner than I thought and I might have jumped a little. Hannah smiled at me. "Do you maybe want a valium or something to calm your nerves?"

I shook my head and went to answer the door. Oh damn. When I opened it I saw something that I don't think any other girl in Wiggins had been witness to: Brett dressed up. He wore a pair of brand new dark blue Wranglers that conformed to his thighs and waist like a second skin. Tucked into those huggers was a red western style long-sleeve shirt. The cuffs were folded halfway up showing off his muscled forearms and the top two pearl buttons were undone hinting at the smooth chest I remembered from the previous day. The red shirt in contrast to his dark tanned skin was amazing, nearly prompting a bit of drool at my lips.

Maybe I should have stayed in the bath for a little while longer.

"Ally, you look beautiful."

"Thank you," fell from my lips in automatic response. "You look…" Woof. I swallowed dryly. "Great."

I didn't notice his left hand hidden behind his back until he presented me with a bouquet of flowers. My lids blinked rapidly as my smile widened. Purple and white lilacs, some in full bloom and others just starting sent pollen into the air that smelled so sweet.

"Brett," I almost gasped. "Thank you. They're beautiful." And scarily symbolic. I took them and inhaled the scent. "I'll go put them in water. Come in."

Hannah was nearly floating on air. "Hi Brett."

"Hey, Mrs. Baker."

She pointed to the kitchen. "I'll go help Ally find a vase. Make yourself at home."

I rolled my eyes as I pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen. I knew perfectly well where the vases were at and she knew it. But that didn't stop her from doing the happy dance of joy when she entered on my heels.

"Ally Sue Baker, if you don't snatch him up tonight then every girl in Wiggins and the surround three counties will be scratching at his door come tomorrow."

I totally ignored her and grabbed a vase from underneath the counter. "White lilacs symbolize dignity and innocence, and purple, the beginnings of love."

That almost set her off even more. But I cut her off. "Would you put these in my room?"

She grabbed the vase and almost buried her face in the arrangement. "Not until Jethro sees them."

"Aunt Hannah," I whined. "Tell Uncle Jethro to leave Brett alone. Please."

She grinned knowingly at me. "You better go. We left him alone in there. Girls might be breakin' in as we speak to kidnap him all for themselves."

I pointed my finger at her. "Behave."

"Look who's talking."

Escaping from the kitchen I entered the sitting room where we left Brett. His back was to me and I got to see the other side of his tight jeans. I really think I should have stayed in the bath a lot longer. Teenage girl hormones were murder. It almost made me melancholy for the days when I was a sixteen year old boy frantically masturbating three times a day. At least then it would take the edge off. Being a girl only seemed to intensify the experience. Knowing what their simple self-induced orgasm felt like, I couldn't imagine what having actual sex would do to me.

The sound of my boots on the hardwood alerted him to my presence. He spun around with a bright smile on his lips. "Ready?"

I nodded.

"Y'all have fun now," Hannah called from the kitchen door.

I wanted to yell back, 'Bite me, Hannah,' but thought it wouldn't be lady-like. "Thanks. We will."

I stared at the giant truck sitting in front of the house. What is it with country boys and their innate need to see exactly how far they could lift their trucks in the air? I think it was a plot. They did it so that they'd have to assist girls into the cab and stare at their butts as they did so. Seeing as how I was in a dress, this wasn't a very good idea.

"Don't worry, I have steps. Check this out."

He punched a button on his key fob. Lo and behold chrome steps extended from just under the door and dropped, making a nice stairway for me to climb to my seat. I grinned at him. "Cool."

Even though there was a handgrip attached to the side of the truck, Brett made sure to offer his assistance as I ascended the steps then closed the door after.

So I wouldn't be tempted into doing bad things I stayed as far away from the driver's side as I could and strapped the seatbelt tightly across my body. Brett didn't look disappointed when he hopped in on his side.

The drive down to Biloxi was almost in total silence. I could see him start to say something about every five minutes, but he held back. It was the longest thirty minutes in the world, but not in a bad way. His cologne wasn't heavy and it mixed with his natural scent very well. I tried to take my mind off of things by messing with my earrings. When we finally reached the city I was curious as to where we were going to eat.

"Feel like some seafood?" he asked.

"Sounds great."

We pulled into one of the newer restaurants that had been built since Hurricane Katrina wiped out everything within a mile of the beach years previous.

With my hand firmly ensconced with Brett's, he led me up the stairs to the homey restaurant. We got a corner table and sat across from each other. Brett didn't even look at the menu. "Do you like boiled crawfish?"

Looking up from my menu I grinned and nodded. They're messy but taste so good. And hey, I wasn't wearing any sleeves to get dirty.

"How much can you eat?" I asked, almost teasingly.

He shrugged. "Five pounds usually. Unless I'm really hungry."

I gave him a playfully disappointed look. "That's it? I can do five pounds easy." Of course I hadn't done so since the sex change, but I wasn't lying.

The waitress came up and whipped out her pad. "Y'all folks ready to order?"

I nodded. "We'll take ten pounds of boiled crawfish and I want a Coke to start."

"Coke," Brett agreed. "Potatoes and corn too."

I nodded. "That's a given. Can't have one without the other."

Once she was gone, Brett eyed me appraisingly. "Five pounds a piece, huh. Think you can take me?"

"Easy peasy." I tried to look bored but he wasn't buying the act.

"A side bet then," he offered.

I looked over my nails that I was gently blowing on and buffing. "Terms?"

He thought on it for less than a second. "Smooshy tiny ones don't count and can be discarded and all heads must be sucked."

Crawfish heads is where all the spicy juices gathered. If you couldn't take the heat of cayenne pepper then you really want to stay away from them.

"Agreed. And the winner gets one fulfilled request at the end of the evening. No porno stuff."

Brett nodded. "Agreed." His eyes narrowed and then he smiled again. "Did I just make a sucker bet?"

~O~

There's a trick to peeling and eating crawfish. Rip off the head, suck the juice, toss it. It's just juice, no brains or anything. Get over it. While you are sucking, peel back the first ring of its tail shell with your nail -- hey that rhymed! -- then pinch the tail progressively from tip of tail to center while sucking on the meat end. Chew swallow. Those that have longer fingernails have an advantage over those that don't, because the nail-less have to stop and peel away that first layer and can't do it one-handed.

Oh. Damn, it was hot.

Brett conceded defeat after the waitress brought me my fourth pound while he was finishing his second.

"I give. You are the crawfish queen. I bow to your superior sucking powers." I nearly choked on that and he went white. "I mean…"

"I know what you meant." However I gave him a slight look of reprimand.

We polished off the rest of the crawfish and I excused myself to go to the ladies room and wash my hands. There's nothing worse than rubbing your eye with a hand stained with cayenne pepper. I touched up my lipstick and marveled at the face in the mirror. Six weeks ago I would have never imagined I would be out on a date with a guy. Now there I was primping of all things.

When I returned to the table Brett had already taken care of the bill. He stood at my approach. "Even after slaughtering me in a crawfish eating contest you're still gorgeous."

My eyes widened a little and I ducked my head with a smile on my face, before he took my hand and laced his fingers with mine.

TBC...

Photo Credit: Marty McBride