Just a little something about an annoying trick I learned as a child. Now if only I could un-learn it...
It isn't very long before I realize; I am a boy, physically. So that's why they all think that. But that means no one will believe I'm a girl, because all the evidence says otherwise. And if I insist I'm a girl, I could end up in the loony bin! Better keep quiet.
It's not a big deal at first. My sister lets me join her when she plays with her Barbie dolls. At preschool boys and girls aren't separated much, and nobody really cares.
Then things change. I'm teased if I play with the girls, and they don't want to play with me anymore anyway. Why can't anybody see what's so obvious to me?
I try not to think about it, but you know how well that goes!
Just ignore it, that's the ticket. But everybody looks at me funny and sometimes they say mean things. Not fun. Maybe if I imitate the boys?
Okay, that didn't work. Why do they do one thing one time, and something else another? It doesn't make any sense!
I suck at acting like a boy, but maybe I can just not act like a girl?
Okay, that works a bit better. But it still bothers me. Best not to think about it.
Mind keeps coming back to it, so I try to think of something else, instead of just not thinking about it. That works a little better.
It's on my mind all the time, why can't I just be like everybody else?
Then it happens. I'm thinking about it, and...Blank!
What was I thinking about? Oh, yeah...Blank!
Something's not right...Blank!
I think I'll go play.