Joss Whedon portrayed it right. High school really is hell. At least mine was. A genuine monster came to my school, and I was one of those who lived to tell the story. Sometimes I envy those who didn’t survive….

It started on a very nice day at the end of October of my grade eleven year. I had hoped that the worst of the bullying I had suffered in grade ten was behind me, and for the most part it was. I still got the name-calling, mostly variations on “fag”, but I could cope with that. At least I wasn’t literally fighting for my life every other day. And besides which, it was at least partly true….

As I said, it was October, and someone decided it would be a good idea to let the students decorate the school for Halloween. As I navigated my way through the halls, pumpkins, skeletons, and such populated every available space. Me, I was ambivalent about it. And that was before I found out that there really were things that go bump in the night…

I was looking forward to my first class, which was English. Not that I was great at it, but mostly for the teacher, Miss Anderson. Of all the teachers in our school, she was without any doubt the hottest. Blonde, pretty green eyes, and young. When you are the age I was, most adults seem impossibly old, but she had to be less then a decade older than I, and looked younger.

She tried her best to play down her looks, though. She usually wore track suits, didn’t wear makeup, and kept her hair tight in a bun. Despite that, I heard the conversations in the halls, and many of the male students had fantasies about her.

Unlike most of my fellow students who indulged in that activity, My own ideas where less graphic and more romantic. They usually involved her ditching whatever lucky bastard she was involved with, falling madly in love with me, and whisking me off to some exotic location. Even in my dreams I had trouble imagining the act of sex….

I was the first person to reach the classroom. Once inside though, I couldn’t believe what I saw. This teacher, who always wore sweats, was in a black dress.
It flowed down her body from her shoulders like water, and ended just above her knees.

Besides the dress, she was wearing silver high heels, stockings, makeup, and her hair was down. The overall effect was staggering. The rest of the class filed in, and each was a little shocked at her appearance. Feelings of lust and envy were very evident in their actions. Not that I could say I was any better, as I felt both….

Once we were in our seats, things really got strange. She went to the front of the class, and began reaching behind herself, and before I could figure out what she was doing, she had pulled the top part of the dress down, and was only wearing a shear black bra above her waist. I started to wonder if I had fallen asleep and was now having an erotic dream, and wondered when someone would shake me awake…

The silence in the room was deafening. A quick glance at the rest of my classmates showed the main reaction was shock, but a rustling sound drew my attention from them, in time to see her finish removing the dress. She stepped out of it and kicked it aside, leaving her in her underwear stockings, and heels. She then started to reach behind her back again, and I knew she was going to remove the bra, and then I made the choice that would change everything I was witnessing. I looked into her eyes….

I cannot tell you how I knew what she thinking, but looking into her eyes, I suddenly knew that this strip show was not her idea. She was somehow being controlled, forced. I could sense her embarrassment, her fear at her loss of control, even the hint of madness if it continued. Somehow, I had to save her, but how?

She had removed the bra, but I no longer cared about that. I stood up, and shouted, “Whoever is doing this to her, stop now!”

An eerie, unearthly voice spoke, using her mouth and lips. “Why?, What will you offer me to stop?”

I thought quickly, and replied, “Me. Let her go, and you can have me.”

“Not quite what I want. I will make you a deal, however. If you put on these clothes she has removed, I will allow her to wear her usual drab outfit”

It only took me a moment to make up my mind what to say . “You want me to wear a dress. Fine. Let us have some privacy, and I will put her clothes on.”

“As you wish”

With that, she picked up her clothes, and went back to her desk, and grabbed a bag. I could see a bit of a track suit hanging out of it. We left the classroom, and in moments, reached a girls bathroom.

I hesitated for just a second, and then shrugged, and went in. Going into one of the stalls, I started taking my clothes off until I was naked, and pushed my clothes out under the door.

A moment later the dress, bra, panties, stockings, and shoes were slipped under the door. I struggled into them, and then said “Is she clothed?”

“I have held to my part of the bargain. Now show me that you have done so as well.”

I opened the door, and stepped out carefully trying not to wobble on the heels. She looked like her regular self, except the hair, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “So what happens now?” I asked

“I… I think you have to put on some make-up” she said shakily, “then, I guess we go back to the classroom.” she said, and for the first time that day, she sounded like herself.

A quick dab of lipstick and eye shadow latter, we went back to the classroom. She went in first, and said, “I…I want to thank David for saving me. He… he has paid a large price for it, and I hope you all will treat him with respect.”

I then entered the class, and tried to avoid looking at anybody until I was in my seat. A short while later, the bell rang, and I realized I would have to face the rest of the school dressed like this.
I had successfully avoided most of the bullying this year by being all but invisible, and now I would draw attention, and it would not be likely to be the good kind. As I hesitated to leave the relative safety of the classroom, Linda, one of the girls, came up to me, and said. “Don’t worry David. I will help, and I know a few others who will too.”

“I have a spare next period. I am tempted to just try and hide through it.”

“I don’t think that would work. Maybe you should go to the vice-principal’s office. I will go with you. Anyone else who is willing to help?”

A couple of girls and one boy all volunteered. And then Linda said, “We can explain how you are dressed. And Miss Anderson would confirm the story too.”

“I don’t have any better ideas.” I said.

It is hard for me to put into words what the walk from the classroom was like. It was a full sensory experience. The way the clothes felt on my body, the way I was forced to change how I walked, the swish of the skirt, the click of the heels, the slight scent of perfume that she must have sprayed on before class, even the waxy taste of lipstick.

Navigating the hallway was tough. A lot of student did a double-take at my appearance, but nobody did anything with a group of witnesses clearly on my side. We made our way to the vice-principals office, and knocked.

He didn’t believe us at first, until Miss Anderson confirmed what had happened. He called the rest of the staff, and soon it was decided that as long as I had to remain dressed like this, a teacher or staff would accompany me to all my classes.

He asked me “Do you have any ideas who was behind this? Any clues from what they said to Miss Anderson, and to you?”

I said, “I don’t have a clue. And I have no idea how long I could be stuck wearing this either.”

“Fine. I will take you to your next class.”
The rest of the day until lunch was a struggle, to put it mildly. Having an adult around kept me safe from bodily harm, but I could see the wheels turning in the minds of a number of students. I had gone from being basically invisible to wearing a large target on my back, and people would not forget, even if I went back to pants tomorrow.

At lunch, Linda sought me out, and made a point of eating with me, since everyone else was keeping their distance.

“How are you holding up?”

“Okay, considering that everyone is treating me like I have a disease they could catch if they come too close.”

“I am sorry”

“Not your fault. Somehow, we have to figure out who did this, and how to stop them. Before someone else important like Miss Anderson is affected.”

“David, just because you were not popular doesn’t mean you aren’t important. Every life has value.”

“Tell that to the people who were using me as a punching bag for being thought of as gay. And that was before I was wearing a dress.”

“Speaking of which…. Would you trust me with the truth?”

“What truth?”

“It’s not the first time you have worn one, is it?”

“What makes you say that?”

“The way you move. Like how you sat down. You swept the dress under you, like any girl would”

I looked at her. She seemed so kind, so sincere. Could I trust her?

“It’s…complicated.” I said, “You will think I am crazy. Heck, I think I am crazy”

“David, please. It could be an important clue as to who is doing this and why.”

“Fine.” I tried to keep from crying “You want the truth? I…I don’t know if I have the words, but here goes.” I took a breath, and continued.

“I…I never felt good in my own skin. Something felt off, wrong, from an early age. I couldn’t seem to make any connection to boys. It’s like we spoke a different language, but I got along great with girls. As I got closer to puberty, I really didn’t want to have to become hairy and muscular like I was supposed to.”

At this point, my voice broke, and she put her hand on mine. Then I continued, “ I remember looking at my mom and seeing her as pretty, and hoping I could be as pretty as her. I… I envied girls, how they looked, what they wore, everything. I … I started stealing my mom’s clothes…”

I looked at her, but her expression of concern and caring had not changed.

“I felt, and I still feel, like I am going crazy. Its like my brain is sending me a message that is totally different than the one my body sends. I… I think I would be a girl, if I could, but I can’t see how. I didn’t know what to do. I have prayed to God for relief, but He doesn’t answer.”

She stood up, came around to me, and held me. She said, “Thank you for trusting me with the truth David. And I want you to understand I am still going to help you.”

“Th..thanks.”

“Now I have a serious question. Have you ever told anybody before me?”

“I…I only ever told one other person.”

“Good. Lets start with him then.”

“We can’t. He was a friend of my brothers, but …“

“But what? Why can’t we see him?“

“He died last year….”

(from part 1)

“Now I have a serious question. Have you ever told anybody before me?”

“I…I only ever told one other person.”

“Good. Lets start with him then.”

“We can’t. He was a friend of my brothers, but …“

“But what? Why can’t we see him?“

“He died last year….”

Part 2

She sat there thinking about that for a minute, and then the bell rang, and we had to go. My “escort” was our gym teacher, and we headed to my next class. I thought he was an odd choice, since he often used “sissy” in his “encouragements” in gym class.

I said to him, “I am kinda surprised you volunteered for this duty”

“I am not doing it for you. I am doing it for Miss Anderson. She thinks you deserve it, so I will help”

As we walked, my mind was racing in a dozen directions. First, the whole idea of having an “escort” seemed surreal. I felt like one of those black students who were integrated under the protection of the national guard.

Then there was Linda. How can she still want to help me? I have considered myself a freak nearly my whole life, how can someone as pretty, as popular as her want to even be in the same zip code as me?

Lastly, I thought about the only other person I had told some of my story to. He may not have lived long, but he certainly left an impression on me…

Three years ago …

“Hay John, you got another tape from your friend back home”

“Yeh, David. Its nice to hear a friendly voice.”

“What’s he like? Your friend?”

“He is… a little different. Actually I think you and he would get along. Maybe if we get back home, I can introduce you.”

Two years ago …

“Nice to finally meet you Alex I have heard a lot about your from John”

“Nice to meet you too.“

“Hay. Are those D and D books? I love those games”

“I run a campaign if you want to join.”

“That would be cool.”

One and a half years ago …

“You got a strange name. I mean, ‘Alexi Kiev?’ What’s that about?”

“I was born Mike Johnson. But I fell in love with Russia, and I decided I wanted to change my name to show it.”

“That is … a bit extreme.”

“What can I say? I like to shake things up a bit.”

One year ago ….

“Dave, you always play a girl in our games, you ever thought of having a male character?”

“I… I just like it.”

“Come on, I want to show you something. I think we have something else in common.”

“What is that you are grabbing?”

“A picture. Take a look at it.”

“That’s … that’s you ? In a dress?”

“That’s me as my female self. I call her ‘Barbie’”

“Why… why would you think I have something in common with this?”

“Because your guy act isn’t as good as you think.”

“I… I guess there is a bit of a feminine side to me.”

“If you say its only a bit.”

“Look, you have gone out looking like that? Were you not scared?”

“Maybe at first. But the secret to dealing with fear is to just do what you think you need to. And don’t let the fear stop you. Besides, there are a few safe places for people like me. Here. I have some magazines that show that you are far from alone. It includes the places we hang out.”

“These are… adult mags.”

“You are close enough. I hope it helps you.”

Nine months ago …

“I am sorry David, he is gone.”

“Dead, John? How can Alex be dead? I didn’t even know he was sick.”

“It happened really fast. That’s all I know. Because we are not family, I couldn’t find out any more.”

“It doesn’t seem real.”

“I know. I can’t believe he is gone either. I am going to miss him.”

“me too, John. I just wish I could have at least said goodbye.”

“Me too David. Me too.”

Now ….

As the day drew to a close, I found another subject to think about.

Ever since I had told Linda about how I felt, it was like I had opened a door I couldn’t close. The fear and anxiety I had kept under wraps was bubbling up to the surface, and I simply didn’t know how to cope.

Compared to the furtive cross-dressing I had indulged in before this, what I was experiencing now was like the difference between splashing around in the kiddie pool compares to being dropped into the middle of the Pacific.
And I didn’t know if I was going to sink or swim….  

I had another fear too. It seemed like the longer I was dressed like this, the less likely it was that I would be able to tolerate going back to the way things were before…

The day came to an end, and I had to go home. Linda offered to walk with me at least part of the way so I wouldn’t have to be alone, and I was grateful for the company.

“How are your folks going to handle what you look like?”

“My best hope is to sneak in and hide in my room for the night”

“Seriously?”

“My mom is a good person, but my step-dad… Let’s just say he isn’t the most liberal minded person, and tends to express himself in physical ways.”

“You should tell someone. I mean, that’s just wrong.”

“Who would I have told? All it would do would be to hurt my mom.”

“Maybe we should have got the V.P. to call ahead.”

“I am not sure it would have helped.”

“What are we going to do? I… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I looked at her hard. Her expression was sincere.

“I .. I will survive. I don’t want you to get hurt trying to protect me.”

“Are.. Are you sure?”

“Yes. You go home. I will face what comes.”

She squeezed my shoulder, and turned away, leaving me to walk up my driveway alone.

As soon as I entered, I heard my mother’s voice.

“David, I need you to come here.”

Oh, crap. What the heck is she doing home already?

“I need to visit my room for a sec mom.”

“David please.”

I went toward the kitchen, and said, “Mom, I can explain how I am dressed…”

She got up from the kitchen table and met me as I entered, and gave me a hug. “You don’t have to worry sweetie. I got a call from a Miss Anderson from your school. Her story was incredible, but then something happened after I got home that made me believe her.”

“What happened mom?”

“This thing… this creature that had possessed her took me.”

“Oh, God, mom, are you ok?”

“I am a little shaky, but I will be okay. I… I have to take get you some more girl clothes.”

“I am sorry mom.”

“It isn’t your fault. But we should go.”

“What about Ken?”

“Your stepfather is.. Taking a short vacation. I.. I don’t know when he will be back.”

“I am really sorry mom.”

“Again, not your fault. And it might be for the best in any case. Now, we really should go. ”

On the way to the mall, she had a strange look on her face.

“What are you thinking of mom?”

“I was thinking that when I was pregnant with you, I was so sure you were going to be a girl. And I dreamed of us taking a shopping trip together. It would be funny, if it wasn’t so scary.”

“Yeh, mom. I kinda know what you mean.”

She smiled at me and said, “Remember when I caught you in that nightgown? You wouldn’t talk to me. You want to talk now?”

“I… I am sorry mom. I guess I didn’t want to have to tell you I am some kind of freak.”

“Now you listen to me. You are not a freak!”

“But mom, I … I feel more like a girl than a boy! Even my church would think that’s a sin, or at least crazy”

“I don’t think you are crazy or sinning. After I caught you, I did a little digging. You ever hear of Rene Richards?”

“Who is she?”

“She was a tennis player. But more importantly, she had been born a boy, and eventually had a surgery to make her into a girl. So you wouldn’t be the first to feel like that, and there is a way to help you if you do end up needing to make that kind of change”

“I am so sorry mom. I didn’t want to make you upset”

“I love you, and whether you are my daughter or my son, you are still my child. No matter what, we will get through this. Together.”

“Mom, I am scared about going in the mall dressed like this. What will people think?”

“Sweetie, I doubt they will pull out the pitchfork and torches. You may get some stares, and maybe even negative comments. But your attitude is going to be crucial. If you act like you are ashamed of yourself, you are more likely to draw negative attention. If you relax, and act like you accept yourself, there is a chance that others will respect that.”

“I will try mom. It is hard to tell yourself not to be scared though.”

“Don’t try hon. Try and tell yourself that no matter how scared you are, you don’t have to show it. And that you wont let it stop you”

“That’s funny mom. My friend Alex told me something like that once.”

“That’s the boy who died last year, isn’t it?”

“yes mom. I have been thinking about him a lot today”

“Any particular reason?”

“Well, I told someone at school about how I felt, and she asked me if I had ever told anybody else. And Alex was the only other person I had told.”

“She, huh?”

I blushed.

“Don’t get your hopes up for wedding bells. She is just a very nice person who wanted to help me.”

“Don’t knock that. Lot of good relationships have started with less.”

“Maybe. But for now, let’s just get this shopping trip over with.”

“Come on, sweetie. Chin up, smile, and enjoy. This might be the only time someone else pays for your shopping sprees. And shopping is a true pleasure for girls. And women. ”

“Yeh, but most girls or women don’t have to worry about being found out as really being a guy”

“Hon, I hope you don’t find it insulting but I have been watching you move since you got home. Trust me when I say nobody is going to think you are a guy unless you tell them.”

“You really think I can pull this off?”

“I know you can.”

I smiled for the first time since this crazy day started.

“One more thing. I can’t call you David in public without giving the game away, can I? You have any preferences for a girl name for the time being, at least?”

I thought about it for a second, and then said, “call me Alice. Like Alice in wonderland?”

She actually giggled a bit, and said, “I guess it’s appropriate. Com’on, Alice. Let’s shop ’till we drop. ”

I smiled and actually giggled myself, straightened my skirt, and we went in.

It was an unreal experience. In one way, it was a dream come true for me. If my mom had sometimes wondered what a mother-daughter outing would be like, I spent even more time wishing for something like this. And yet, any enjoyment was tempered by the fact that we still didn’t know who or what was doing this, or why.

Our first stop was a lingerie shop. The sales lady wanted to measure me without the dress on, and I started blushing like crazy. My mom came to my rescue, telling her, “My daughter is a little shy. Let me take the tape measure into the change room, and I will get you the measurements.”

Soon I had enough underwear to last me a week or so, some nightgowns, and a selection of hosiery. The next stop was outerwear, and for that we visited a department store. I tried on dresses, skirts, and blouses of various styles and colors. My mom tried to encourage me to pick items I liked, to develop a style that suited me, and I tried, but often I ended up relying on her opinion.

We stopped at the jewelery counter, and bought me a simple girl’s watch, and a cute necklace that was surprisingly cheap. We then went back into the mall, and stopped at a place that would pierce my ears. I have to admit I flinched a little, but the I liked the earrings we chose, especially since they matched the necklace.

After we left that store, we walked around for a bit, until my mom noticed I was slowing down, and asked me, “Hon, you okay?”

“I am just realizing why you complain about your feet at the end of the day”

“I can help fix that. Lets go over there.”

“Over there” turned out to be a make up and nail salon, and I had what was hands down the most pleasant experience of my transformation, a pedicure and manicure. After they finished with me, a glance at the mirror made me wonder who that pretty girl waving at me was, only to realize it was me.

Our next stop was a shoe store, and soon I had a couple of choices of heels to wear.

I asked my mom if flats were an option, and she just shook her head, and I resigned myself to the discomfort I knew would have to get used to. We also got me a couple of purses.

“Mom, I am a little worried about how much we are spending on me today.”

“Don’t worry sweetie. I… I had some money put away. I had decided to leave your stepfather, and wanted to be prepared.”

“I am sorry mom.”

“I am sorry it took me so long. I should have left him the first time he raised a fist to you boys.”

Our last stop was the food court, Mom got us both a couple of salads.

“Remember girls eat a little less that boys dear” she said.

“Okay mom”

“I wanted to compliment you on your voice sweetie. A little soft, but very feminine. How are you doing it?”

“Practice, mom.” I said, “One of the mags Alex gave me had suggestions on how to make your voice more feminine.”

Again, I found myself thinking of Alex. He had told me he thought I needed a little nudge to develop the courage it would take to come out. But, if somehow his ghost was behind this, why was he doing it in such a cruel way?

Hurting Miss Anderson like that, it was horrible. And my mom hadn’t actually said what had happened to her, but it didn’t sound like she had a fun time either. Would Alex have done something like that? I had been one of the few people he was actually fond of, but that’s a long way from torture. I simply didn’t have any clear answer.

We made our way home, and I asked my mom about my brother.

“He is at collage, as you should remember. By the time he has a break and comes home, we will figure out what to tell him.”

When we got home, I took my new clothes to my room, and realized that all my boy clothes were gone.

“Mom, what happened to my old clothes?”

“I am sorry hon. I had no choice but to get rid of them. Believe me when I say you wouldn’t have liked the alternative.”

“That’s what happened when you were… possessed, controlled?”

She nodded, and wept, and said, “I am sorry hon.”

I held her and we both cried for a while.

Finally, I got out of my dress, and slipped into one of my new nightgowns, and went to bed. I slept fitfully. I had no clue then that this nightmare had just begun, and soon my fellow students would have their turn facing this horror. The worst was yet to come…..

Choices (part 3)

(from part 2)

Finally, I got out of my dress, and slipped into one of my new nightgowns, and went to bed. I slept fitfully. I had no clue then that this nightmare had just begun, and soon my fellow students would have their turn facing this horror. The worst was yet to come…..

(part 3)

I got up early, so I could take my time getting ready. It was more than just the fact that it was more complicated than getting ready as a guy was. I had already known why it takes girls longer to get ready than boys. But it was a combination of joy and reluctance, and a desire to somehow make me so passable that I would go back to being invisible again.

I had been the target yesterday of special attention, some good, some bad, and I desperately wanted that to end. If I had to now be a girl, I wanted to be just a girl, and not someone who needed adult protection just to take classes.

Mom decided to drive me to school. When we arrived, Linda was there, and so was Miss Anderson. She looked shaky to me, so I whispered to Mom, “Miss Anderson looks like she could use a friend. Since I am a kid, maybe you can help her. I want to talk to Linda.”

“Good idea hon.”

She moved away to talk privately with Miss Anderson, and I came over to see Linda. She took me by both hands, twirled me around, and said, “You look lovely David.”

“Call me Alice, Linda. It’s going to be my name from now on.”

“Well, you look lovely, Alice.”

“The girls at the salon did miracles with me.”

“Girl, take a compliment when it’s given. You are beautiful. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if Blake flirts with you today in Drama class.”

That was a bit of a joke, because Blake was known as an incorrigible flirt. He always lost whatever girlfriend he had at the moment because he couldn’t seem to stop himself from chatting up every attractive girl he saw.

The interesting thing was the ex-girlfriends didn’t seem to blame him. They seemed to regard dating him as like riding a rollercoaster. They got off breathless and dizzy, having enjoyed the ride, but knowing even at the beginning of the ride that it would have to end eventually.

Just then the vice-principal came in. He looked like he hadn’t slept the night before. He came over to my mom, and after a whispered conversation, he called in the staff. Linda and I watched them talk for a minute, and then he said to me “All right. Your mother says you have chosen the name ‘Alice’. Fine. that’s…fine. I have asked the staff to respect that. Do you want an escort to classes today?”

“No. I was thinking about that this morning. It only makes things worse by making me stand out even more. I.. I want to be treated like any other girl.”

He looked worried, but said “As you wish. But I have told the teachers to tell your classmates that any harassment or violence will not be tolerated. And I want you to come to me immediately if anything happens.”

I looked at him hard, and asked, “What happened, sir?”

He looked at the floor, and then said, “Let’s just say… I have been charged with making sure you are protected. And I would be held personally responsible for anything that happened to you.”

“I … I am sorry. This … this isn’t the what I wanted. I… I may have always really been a girl, and it might be better that I lived like one, but I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

He looked pained, and said “Please don’t blame yourself. This thing… this creature is the one responsible.”

“Come on” Linda said, and took my hand.

My first class that day was Social Studies, and the teacher read the riot act prepared by the vice-principal. The teacher called me “Alice”, and other than a couple of people who pretended like I didn’t exist, the rest of the class followed suit.

The second class was Drama, and we were to split into groups of two. As we had an uneven number of people, I fully expected to be left out. But Blake asked me to be his partner, and invited Linda to join us.

He picked the first meeting of Romeo and Juliet as our piece, and ran it through with Linda, while I watched. Then he dragged me forward and had me take her place. I blushed the whole time we worked together, and then while we watched the others perform, he pretty much continued in the same vein.

He gently flirted, careful to keep it light enough that if I felt offended he could claim to being only friendly. I felt lost in this dance, not knowing what my steps were supposed to be. Eventually, Linda stepped in and rescued me, allowing me to catch my breath.

“Did I call it or did I call it?” she giggled.

“I guess he really will chase anyone in a skirt.”

“Don’t sell yourself so short. He has good taste when it comes to girls.”

“Maybe. But I … I don’t think I want to be one of his conquests.”

“Real-ly. Does that mean you would rather date girls?”

I blushed. “ I … I think so. I am so confused right now I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to even think that far ahead.”

“Okay hon. I know things are not settled right now. Plus we still haven’t solved what’s going on here anyway.”

“Well, I hope that this creature is satisfied with my transformation, and that the scariness is over with.”

We had no idea how wrong I was. But we were about to find out.

I had a free period next, so decided to head to my favorite hidey-hole, the library. On my way there, however, I heard a commotion, and curious, I headed toward it.

It turned out to be coming from the Gym. A number of the “jocks” were gathered around the entrance to the boy’s change room. I asked one of them what was going on, and he said, “Two boys are in there… having sex … with each other.”

A really bad feeling came over me.

“Who are they?”

“Richard and Alan.”

My bad feeling got worse. They had been two of my worst tormentors, seemingly dedicated to the task of removing “the fag” from the school by any means necessary.

After several minutes the gym teacher came out, and shooed all the onlookers away, and went back in.

I waited, and he took both boys out. They were in their underwear, and had dazed looks on their faces, and it was very clear what they had been doing with each other. Unnoticed, I snuck behind them as he hustled the boys to the nurse’s office.

I listened in for a few minutes, long enough to hear both boys say in no uncertain terms that they had not been in control of their actions. A few moments later one of the boys was clearly crying, I left, and went to my next class.

At lunch, I caught up to Linda, and told her what had happened. She looked thoughtful, and saw the expression on my face, and said, “I can tell you are still blaming yourself”

“Hard not to. I mean, those boys, they were awful to me. If I wanted to have some revenge, I am sure I would have started with them.”

“But revenge just isn’t part of your makeup Alice.”

“But maybe somebody has decided to take revenge on my behalf.”

“In which case, that is their decision, and you are not at fault.”

“How did you get so smart?”

“I learned lessons the hard way, the way most people have to.”

“At least you learned.”

After lunch, I went to my next class. Things went smoothly until just before the bell rang. Suddenly, I felt myself get up, and move to the door. It was a strange experience. It was like I was two people. One simply obeyed the commands it was getting, the other part, my real self, struggled against the control, but without success.

I realized I wasn’t alone students came out of every classroom, and we headed for the gym again. Once there, we saw a girl I knew well. Her name was Carol Bell, and she was not a friend of mine.

In fact, she was responsible for starting a rumor that I had danced with a boy at a school dance. I started to get that bad feeling again…

I have debated with myself whether to write down what happened to that girl, and finally decided against it. No one who reads this needs to have the nightmares….

The worst part for me was my own helplessness. I felt pinned to my seat, and couldn’t save her the way I had saved Miss Anderson. The other worst part was hearing the giggles forced out of the girl while she degraded herself in front of us….

After it was over, the force holding us let us go, and the students mostly fled. A few got ill, and one or two looked like they had passed out….

Linda went over to check on Carol, who was now curled up in a small ball. A teacher came over, and together we took her to the nurse’s office.

After they got her settled, Linda turned back to me, and saw that I was shaking and fighting back tears.

“Alice, do you remember the first time we met?”

“You hijacked me because you decided you wanted company to go across the street.”

“Yes. Do you know why I picked you?”

“N..no.”

“Because even at the first meeting, I could sense the goodness in you. I may not have seen the girl you really are, but I could see a gentleness, a desire to do the right thing. I cannot and will not believe this is your fault.”

I got control of myself, and said, “I … understand what you are saying. But I have to find a way to stop this. I cannot let any one else get hurt.”

“Then I am going to help you.”

“This thing could go after you too”

“You are not facing this alone. Just accept that I am coming with you.”

“Th…thank you.”

“Now, do you have any idea where to start?”

“If this is connected with Alex, we need to go to the house he lived in.”

“What a way to spend Halloween. Looking for a ghost.”

“Up to you, you can sit this out, I wont think the less of you.”

“Not on your life. Tonight, we go ghost-busting.”

(From Part 3)

“You are not facing this alone. Just accept that I am coming with you.”

“Th…thank you.”

“Now, do you have any idea where to start?”

“If this is connected with Alex, we need to go to the house he lived in.”

“What a way to spend Halloween. Looking for a ghost.”

“Up to you, you can sit this out, I wont think the less of you.”

“Not on your life. Tonight, we go ghost-busting.”

(Part 4)

We agreed to meet at my house after supper, and parted ways. My mom picked me up, we went home, and had a quick bite while I explained to mom our plan.

Then the most unusual thing happened. It wasn’t like the time in school when I had been reduced to a puppet. It was more like a thought, no, an obsession came into my mind and I simply had to follow it.

I had to make myself pretty for Halloween.

I found myself going to a costume shop, and trying to find the prettiest costume I could. I found a costume that was called “butterfly girl”, and took it. It had a short dress, leggings, a small mask, and cute wings. I also bought the most realistic looking breast forms I had ever seen outside of Alex’s magazines.

Then I bought something that shouldn’t have been at any costume shop. I bought a gaff. And it didn’t just hide my male equipment, it actually had a part that looked like the female equivalent. The result was even in the thin costume, I looked like a real girl.

All the time I had been drifting along, disconnected to my actions. I remained in this state until the doorbell rang, and I went to answer it and saw Linda. I think it was the shock of how she was dressed that snapped me out of my dream state.

She was dressed like a cowboy, with an emphasis on the “boy” part. Somehow, she had reduced her breasts to make her chest look more male. And that wasn’t the oddest thing. She had a bulge in her jeans, and I swore it actually got a bit larger when she looked me over….

“Linda?”

She blinked, and shook her head like she had been asleep.

“I .. I think so. You look gorgeous. “

“Thanks. You make a handsome boy.”

“Thanks, I guess. What the heck happened?”

I described the dream state I found myself in until she had arrived.

“Sounds like the same for me. It seemed so natural, so reasonable for me to try and look like as much of a boy as I could, and whatever I needed to do it just showed up.”

“This just keeps getting scarier and scarier.”

“I know. I mean, it was bad enough to have my body under this thing’s control, but to have my thoughts interfered with is worse.”

“Yeh. But if it could do this to us, why not just stop us from wanting to come after it?”

“I am not sure. You still want to face this thing?”

“I… I have to. I have to stop it, or at least try.”

“Then I am still going with you.”

“Then let’s go. “

We carefully made our way to the house that Alex had lived in. All of a sudden, I realized how odd it was, that no one had lived in it since he had passed away.

Maybe it was how she was dressed, but Linda seemed to fall into the male role. For example, as we walked, I started shivering, and silently cursed wearing such a thin costume. Linda noticed, took off the “duster” she was wearing, and wrapped it around my shoulders, and I could have sworn she took a peak down the front of my dress….

I cursed the being that was causing this again. I wasn’t sure if Linda realized what was happening to her, but I mourned for the loss of her feminine nature on her behalf.

We made it to the house, and a great sense of fear took hold of me. I wasn’t an exorcist, I knew nothing about how to deal with a ghost, or demon, or whatever was inside. How could we possibly defeat such a foe?

Again, Linda came to my rescue, putting her arm around me, and then looking me in the eye to say, “Don’t worry hon. We will find a way.”

We went up to the door, and found that it was unlocked. I believed we were expected…

The place was dark, and silent. Linda took the lead, and said, “Let’s look in the bedroom first.”

I nodded.

It was like he had left only days before, instead of months. An unmade bed, a dresser, a closet, nothing that stood out to us. She looked in the closet, and saw Alex’s “Barbie” outfit, swore, and clenched her fists.

“Look” I said, and pointed to the magazines on the floor of the closet. Underneath them was a book, and it seemed to radiate an unpleasant feeling that made me cling to Linda as she picked it up.

She switched on a light, and to my great surprise, it worked. In the dim glow of the lamp, she examined the book. As she held it, I was holding on to her arm, and I could feel muscles developing…

Suddenly we heard a voice coming from the corner of the room, and looking over in that direction saw a mirror. Only it wasn’t reflecting us…

He looked horrible, like he hadn’t been able to stop the rot of his body since he had died. Worse, as I looked into his eyes I saw little of the friend and mentor I had known. It had been replaced by something cold, alien, and evil.

Linda shielded me from him and looked ready to throw a punch at the mirror.

“Can you feel the strength in your body now Linda? Or maybe its Larry by now” it chuckled.

“I offer you the gift this one” and here he pointed at me, “rejects. The power, the mastery that being male offers.”

“What are you talking about?” she barked.

“Remember what you were, and then see yourself now.”

She looked in the mirror, and it showed her reflection. She put a hand to her face, and gasped, “I … I am a man”

“You are. And I can give you more. Not just to be a man, but to be much more. To be a god.”

“What are you talking about”

“I can teach you to be able to do what I have done. To transcend the limits of mortality, and morality. To be able to mold the world in your own image.”

“What about Alice?”

“The semi-female no longer amuses me. You can have her, if you want her. I can feel the lust you feel when you look at her now.”

For a moment, I looked at Linda, and saw the lust there as well. I had a brief moment of vulnerability. He could take me, if he wanted, and I would not have the ability to stop him.

Then Linda laughed, and the spell seemed to be broken.

“You don’t know me that well, nor how I feel about Alice. My feelings for her are much more than lust. If I am male or female, I will protect her, care for her, and if she allows, love her.”

“Fine. You want to play house together? Be my guest”

Then, I felt swept away by emotion. What I experienced was deeper than lust. Although, more than everything, I wanted to share the gift of my body with her, and have her share the gift of hers with me, there was much more.

I looked at Linda, and remembered how I had crushed on her since that first meeting, when she included me in her world, showing me the first acceptance I had ever received. She had been my friend, my companion, my confidant, my guardian, and I loved her.

I indeed wanted to make the bed squeak with her, but I wanted to share breakfast with her the next morning, and share supper in the evening, every day, as long as I lived. Yes, I wanted to touch her and have her touch me, to feed the fire of desire, to be turned on and know I turned her on as well, but I wanted to know her completely and have her know me the same.

“I will make it a package deal. I will give you both one more chance to join me, and I will give my power to both of you. In fact, I give you a sample of what I offer.”

Then we were transported to the sky. We looked down on all the people. We could see into their hearts. We could mold their bodies, their minds in any way we chose.

“Think of all the good you could both do. You could shape the world, and make it better. Alice, you could make people like you around the world be accepted and even loved. Linda, you could remove the pain and injustice you have seen. The world could be yours.”

I have to admit, it was tempting. Sure, he had used his power cruelly, but we could do better. We would be a force for good, bringing help and hope to those who had none…

“Why don’t you tell them the cost?” said a new voice.

We were back in the room, and beside Alex was another figure. I had seen her before. In fact it was Alex who had shown me her picture…

“Barbie?”

“You… you are not real! You were a game, a way to mess with people!”

“Oh, I was real all right. But you rejected me, and everything you could have been if you had let me out. You chose not even masculinity, but a parody of maleness.”

Her appearance snapped Linda and I back to ourselves. Linda put her arm around me, and said to Alex, “We don’t need you power to be happy together, and we don’t want to pay the price you had to pay.”

“You lose, Alex. It’s time to end this.” Barbie said

Alex screamed, and faded.

“Thank you, Barbie.’

“You are welcome sweetie” she said, and started to fade.

“What about the people Alex hurt? Cant we do something for them?”

“I am sorry. You could start by doing good for them, but it wouldn’t end with good. Eventually the power would corrupt you, like it did Alex. I can only offer one gift to the two of you.” she said, and she was gone.

“What gift?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Linda said, and I noticed she looked and sounded more like her old self, “But come on. Let’s get out of here.”

We left the house, and walked back to my house. I invited Linda in, and after she met my mom, I hugged my mom and told her “It’s over”

Later, we sat around my kitchen table, and Linda pulled out the book she had found at Alex’s, and we read through it.

“Why was Alex so hot to have us join him?” I asked.

“From what I can figure out from this book is that it sounds like he was ‘recruited’ last year, and soon realized only a spirit could use the power he had been offered. And part of that bargain was he had to recruit someone else, or else face the full consequences of his choice.”

I shuddered, thinking how close I came to accepting his offer. “If Barbie hadn’t shown up, I .. I don’t know if I could had resisted.” I said.

She held me, and said, “I know you would have hon. You are too smart to think that there wouldn’t be a cost.”

I looked in her eyes, and soon our lips met. My mother coughed, and we broke the kiss, and both of us blushed.

“I think I am going to bed.” she said, “Linda, it was nice to meet you.”

“One more thing.” Linda said “do you have a lighter? I want to burn this book.”

“We have a fireplace.”

We watched it burn, and then I escorted Linda to the door, and said “I will see you at school Monday”

She gave me another kiss, and I melted. “You …. you better go before we do something we are not really ready for.” I managed to say.

“We have time for that when the time comes. Until then, I am going to dream of you.”

I blushed, and said, “I .. I will dream of you too.”

She took a piece of paper, and wrote on it, and said, “Call me this weekend?”

“It’s a promise.”

The next day, we spent most of the day on the phone. My mom laughed at the site of me with the phone cord hanging around my finger while we chatted…

Back at school that week, things seemed to go back to normal remarkably fast. People didn’t exactly forget, but they seemed to be able to move on.

The only exceptions were Carol and the two boys who had been the object of Alex’s special attention, who continued to look haunted by what they had forced to do. My heart broke for them, and I made an effort to reach out to them, and Linda helped too, but some wounds do not heal…

Linda comforted me when my guilt over what had happened to them, and our relationship grew and deepened daily. We managed to keep our necking from progressing to jumping in the sack together, but both of us had no doubt we were heading in that direction.

The school year went on, and winter turned to spring and headed for summer. I split the Christmas holidays, spending half my time at Linda’s house, and half at my own with her a constant guest.

Then, just before we ended the school year, Carol committed suicide, and I spiraled into a deep depression over her death. Linda again saved me, this time from myself, and one night, my mom was out, and we were cuddling together, and she kissed me, and finally, I was ready for the next step.

It was then we discovered the “gift” Barbie had left us. Our sexual organs suddenly switched….

After we finished, Our sex organs switch back, and I curled up beside her, and I began to cry.

She looked worried, and said “Did I hurt you?”

“No. It was wonderful. But is it right that we are alive, and happy, and Carol is gone, and those boys may never be right again?”

“Yes, it is right. We have been given a gift, and we have the responsibility to use it, and to be grateful. Life is all about choices sweetie. We can’t help anybody by being miserable ourselves.”

I kissed her, and said, “How did you get so smart?”

“As I told you once before, I learned from making mistakes”

“And as I think I said then, at least you learned”

“I love you Alice. As soon as we graduate, will you marry me?”

“Yes… yes I will. You have saved me, over and over again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. ”

“I am glad. Because even though I know you have trouble believing it, you have saved me too, and that’s how it should be.”

And all these years later, as I look across at my beautiful wife, I know I am blessed. If sometimes I still struggle with guilt, she is always there to pick me back up, and tells me every day how beautiful I am, and how lucky she is to have me.

And at the end, I guess that’s the best one can hope for, isn’t it?