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Petey's Lament A Musical in One Act by Andrea Lena DiMaggio |
Petey:
Relax, you said he's not coming home until 10!
[clunk of car door closing]
Ginnie:
Shit...He's home...the game musta been rained out...Quick, put this on!
Petey:
Whathefuck, Ginnie! This is a nightgown!
Ginnie:
Sure...I'll just say you're one of my girlfriends!
Petey:
Yeah...but what do I do about....?
(points to groin)
Ginnie:
Here...I saw this on Maury....I think it's called a giraffe...you pull it down...thru there.
Petey:
Owww!
Ginnie:
Stop fussing...he's comin' up the stairs!
[Petey steps into the middle of Ginnie's Bedroom, the lights dim and a spotlight hits the mark where he stands....Cue music....]
Petey:
Here I stand thing in hand
wond'rin what the fuck
it stands right out, what's that about?
Guess I gotta push and tuck...uck...uck!
Once again I'm feelin' pain
much to my dismay
I can see her stare at me
And I hear her say...ay...ay!
Ginnie:
Hey you've got to hide your thing away
Hey you've got to hide your thing away
Petey:
Wond'rin how I fix it now
she's payin' more attention
it's gettin' big despite this rig....
I'm filled with apprehe...ehhn...shun!
Petey:
OOpsies she says to me
Ginnie:
Your willie still is showin'
it's too late to masturbate
Both:
and it seems to still be grow...ohhh....in
Petey:
Hey come help me hide my thing away
Hey come help me hide my thing away
Ginnie:
Pull this thing down and through, pull it down and through
If Daddy finds out that you're a boy, he'll kill both me...eeee...aaaand.....yoooooooooo!
Ginnie:
Oh...Hi, Daddy.
Dad:
Hi, Kitten. Who's your friend?
Ginnie:
This is Pete...Petra...Petra....Johnson.
Based on You've Got to Hide Your Love Away
words and music by Lennon and McCartney
Performed by
rockstar122083
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WARzNGDkslM