The Girl

by Tanya Lynn

We drove through town to my old house. It's funny how well I remembered the way. Mom and dad weren't home, but my younger self took me to where a key was hidden. We went in and up to my old room. Memories that I had buried came flooding back. I went straight to my stash spot in the attic off of my room and pulled out what I knew was there- a bag of clothing castoffs that Sarah had given me long ago. Then, it hit me. Sarah- of course! I turned to her and said, "it was you all those years ago! How did you find me after all of these years? Even my parents hadn't talked to me in 12 years". She said, "I always wondered what happened to you, but really never knew until you got assigned to the building where I was working where you were. I had watched as you were in your teens and gradually suppressed the memories and quit even talking to me. I know you have always wondered why I was attracted to you despite our differences. It's because I know the real you and love you. I always have". I just stood there with my mouth open. So did the younger me. Eventually we all broke out laughing when we saw it was the same expression. I kissed Sarah and said, "so even if I had become a girl, you would still have been in love with me? Wouldn't that make you a lesbian"? She said, "do you think I would care? It's you that I love, guy or girl". Now, I was crying, as was my younger self. I sat there looking at my clothes from long ago, thinking of how they felt, of how I had felt natural when I had them on. I cried harder for all of the lost years.

I then said, "so what do we do now? Obviously this was all orchestrated by someone to change the past. How do we figure how to do that"? Sarah said, "I may know part of the answer. Remember, I saw the aftermath of when you left. I eventually learned that your parents never got over it. they used to look back on that day when your dad caught you and say, 'we would rather have had him be happy, even if it meant his dressing up, or even being a girl.' You need to tell them the truth". I said, "I don't think I could even do that now. how can I expect my younger self to do it"? she said, "you have to convince him for his sake and yours. That must be the purpose of this".

Then, we heard noise downstairs. I heard a voice I would never hear again. My mom said, "we must have looked everywhere, including his tree fort. Where could he have gone, especially in a dress? Please God, don't let him have been picked up by some kind of freak. I would give anything to see him again. And who does that car out front belong to"? suddenly, my younger self bolted down the stairs. There was a commotion as my parents saw him, and then they were firing questions at him. He told them the truth, but they accused him of lying, and asked where he got the clothes from. I didn't know what to do, and then Sarah grabbed my arm and said, "there is only one way they will believe him- we need to face them. Let's go". I said, "are you crazy? What about the timeline and all that"? she said, "damn the timeline. We need to act now"! I gave in and went downstairs with her.

The first thing I noticed was that my dad and I now were the same age and looked almost identical. He did too. His jaw dropped and he said, "who are you? Are you really him at my age"? with tears streaming down my face, I could only nod. I told him everything that had happened and said, "if you don't listen now, this is how it will turn out. Things have to change, since there has been a second chance". My dad looked at my younger self and said, "its ok son, tell us the truth. We can handle it". he looked at Sarah and I for reassurance and said, "can you get Sarah to come over- the dress and some other clothes I have upstairs are ones she gave me. She knows about this". My mom called her mom and soon Sarah and parents came in. turns out she had told her parents, who were willing to help. My younger self then told the whole story again, including that he knew he was a girl inside. My parents were shocked, but didn't freak out. Then, Sarah's dad said, "the reason why we are so understanding is that Sarah was so kind and understanding is that her Aunt Jean used to be her Uncle John, my brother. We were blessed with understanding parents who helped her, and then the rest of us to understand. If you really want to help David deal with this, we can help as well. Anytime, anything you need". My dad asked my younger self, "we are all going to sit down and talk this out". He said, "if we are, can I put my dress back on, or another"? my dad asked, "how far have you gone? Do you put on makeup"? he said, "no, but I wish I could brush my hair like a girl's- may I"? he kind of sighed and said, "this will take some getting used to. Do you have a name for yourself"? he said, "yes, I like Tanya". He said, "okay Tanya, why don't you take young Sarah up with you to help you and come back down when you're finished".

He then turned to the elder Sarah and I and asked, "what now? I watch Star Trek. Will this change your lives, or will they be the same? Are you going to never have left, or what"? I said, "I wish I knew. I just knew that whoever caused this to happen, we had to take advantage of it and change the past". right then, we heard them on the stairs, and turned to look. my younger self was with Sarah, but now she looked all girl. A little makeup and a pretty pink dress did wonders, as well as her hair being done right. I know as I got all teary eyed that it had all been worth it. I looked at my dad and said, "there is your answer. She's glowing with happiness. Whether it changes me or not, it was worth it". he smiled and said, "for that smile to be on his face, I would do anything. Whatever happens to you, he will have every chance to be happy, as a girl or a boy".

Just then, there was a knock on the door. When my mom opened it, we finally had our answer. I, or an older, female version of me, was standing there with an older Sarah. I think we all knew the truth in an instant. I said, "it was you two, wasn't it? somehow you did it". my older version said, "yes. Everything, including Sarah finding you was part of the plan. We are from another dimension, where I told my parents at the start without any help. In that dimension, I grew up as a girl after that, and had a sex change at 18. As in this world, Sarah and I were in love, and people just think we are two lesbians. But, in my world, I have a knack for Quantum Physics. I developed a theory for a machine to travel to another dimension. Unfortunately, I could only go to one, this one. But, I found I could move in time in it. when I saw what had happened to you, I decided to try to change things for you, and this all was the result". I said, "will I become a girl now, because of this, when we return to the future"? he said, "no, as much as I have found out, these events have split off a new reality, where what happens here now will create a new future. You and Sarah will return to your own time. You and Sarah need to go through the tunnel outside of town and circle back. I think your mom and dad in your time want to see you very badly".

We said tearful goodbyes to them all and did as instructed. As we came out of the tunnel, we could tell by the car that we were back in our own time. Sarah turned the car back towards my parent's house and I said, "I don't know if I can handle this right now, after everything else". She said, "you're going, whether you think you're ready or not. This is long overdue". We arrived at the house and I went to the door and knocked. My dad, now fifty, answered the door and took one look at me and grabbed me in a bear hug. He yelled for my mom, and soon we were all laughing and crying at the same time. He pulled Sarah in and said, "after you told us you had found him, I knew you would bring him back someday". I should have been mad at her, but I couldn't be. She had acted out of love. He then said, "she told us why you left, and I will say what she must have told you. We love you, and if you want to become a woman, if that's who you think you are, you have our full support. Your mom has called Sarah's parents, who has told us their story, and we'll sit and talk".

Well, all I can say is that that conversation went beyond my wildest dreams. I never imagined that I would be so happy. Sarah and I told them the whole story, and in the magic of the moment, they believed us. They knew something beyond the ordinary was going on here. I told them that I was going to explore the part of me long buried, but I didn't know how fast things would change. They said, "take it slow. You're just beginning this now at 30, and it wont be easy. You have our full love and support". After a wonderful evening, Sarah and I took off for home. She said, "so how do you want to begin"? I said, "I guess you should measure me and we will go from there". We got back to my place and she took measurements, measuring me everywhere. She said, "let's go get a few things at Wal-Mart, and then tomorrow, we can go to the mall". We jumped back in the car and drove to the 24-hr. Wal-Mart. I knew where the lingerie part was- for some reason, which I now knew, I had always looked at it when I walked by it, a little fascinated by it. she grabbed a package of panties, a padded bra, and a short nightgown, and then went to the clothing section. She grabbed a blouse and skirt, and then said, "what's your height and weight"? when I answered, she picked out a pair of navy tights. We went to the register where they didn't blink an eye- they thought it was for her.

When we got home, we were exhausted. She told me to go into the bedroom and put on the nightgown and a pair of the panties. I said, "but I'll look ridiculous! I don't look anything like a girl right now"! she said, "that doesn't matter- you need to see how it feels". I did as she told me. I opened the pack of panties and saw they were nylon. I remembered that I had liked her nylon panties when I was little more than the cotton ones. Apparently, she had remembered as well. They were really snug around my penis, but felt wonderful I slid on the nightgown and found it fell only to my thighs. It still felt great, although there was obviously room on top for breasts I didn't have. I said, "ok, you can come in, although I think I look ridiculous". She came in and said, "never mind that, how do you feel"? I said, "it feels wonderful and natural". I held out the empty top of the gown and said, "I don't have anything here though. She said, "when you get up in the morning, I want you to put on the bra and fill it with socks. Put on the tights, and then the blouse and skirt. The mall doesn't open till noon tomorrow, and that will give you a chance to see how it feels". I panicked and said, "I'm not ready to go out"! she said, "of course not". We'll take this a step at a time. We'll pretend we're shopping for me. Now lets go to bed". She slid on her own nightgown and we laid down. I went right to sleep and dreamed dreams of what it was going to be like, being a woman.

I don't know why I have to keep several series going on at once, but this one's been burning a hole in my brain for a while. Do Over almost went this way, but found it's own identity. If you haven't seen the Bruce Willis film "The Kid", you won't know the plot anyway, but you really should rent it.

The Girl

Tanya Lynn

I unlocked the door of my apartment and went in. Another boring day on the job, to pay for a small one bedroom apartment. I threw leftover enchiladas in the microwave as I stripped off my security guard uniform. I put on a pair of cloth shorts and flipped on Survivor. I turned on my computer while I ate and watched and checked my email. As if I had any real friends online except for the authors I emailed. After deleting all of the spam, I found the usual amount of emails- none. I turned off the computer and pulled out my pipe and put some pot in it. After smoking it, I tried to relax, but even that couldn't hide the truth. My life was shit. This sure as hell beat living on the streets, which I had for years, but it still sucked. At 30, I had no future I could see. If I really cared enough, I might have killed myself, but I really didn't. Tomorrow was my day off, so I stayed up late watching a movie, and then went to bed.

But, I found the strangest thing by my bed- a Nancy Drew mystery. It was one of the older ones, with the old yellow cover. I panicked and tried to figure out who had been in my apartment, and why they had left something so strange. What if my once in a while girl friend from work, Sarah, had found it? Then I thought, had she left it? she liked jokes, but had she gotten a spare copy of my key? I went and looked for the spare and found it in the cupboard where I had left it. I pulled my asp out of my daypack and put it next to my bed, and fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up earlier than I intended because I thought I heard a noise in my living room. It was still dark outside, but starting to get light. I picked up my asp and slipped into the living room. I wasn't at all ready at all for what I saw. There was a boy laying there in a dress. He couldn't have been more than 10. I thought I had gotten some pot laced with some bad drugs or something. This did not compute. I wanted to wake him, but could think of no sane way to handle this. This was too insane. There was something familiar about him though, and it looked like he had cried himself to sleep. Something stirred deep within me as I sat down and tried to think this through. A memory that I couldn't quite grasp. Then it was gone.

I decided to make breakfast, so I went into the kitchen. I guess the smells and sounds must have woke him, because I heard him gasp. I went into the living room and saw him staring around. He asked, "where am I? Who are you? How did I get here"? and then he saw the book on the table and began to cry. Something made me go over to him and say, "what's the matter? What's your name?" he said, "my name is David and I just remembered where I was before I fell asleep. I thought I was safe- home alone in my house, so I put on my favorite dress and laid on my bed to read this book that I got from my friend Sarah. She knows about me and lent me this dress". I asked him, "what does she know about you"? he said, "that I'm really a girl in a boy's body. Anyway, my dad came home and found me like this and yelled at me and said, 'wait until your mother gets home! We will decide what to do then". I didn't even think- I ran out of the house and into the woods where I had a tree house and went to sleep there. I woke up here".

I wasn't really processing- I was having flashbacks. My name was David, and some long forgotten memories were crashing in. all of the years on the streets and on drugs had buried them, but they came back. I had gone through the same thing! I had returned home, taken off the dress, and promised my parents to never do it again. I had never felt complete, and buried myself in drugs and alcohol instead. I had landed on the streets until I managed to get it together and was where I was now. but, how could it be? Could this kid be me? Maybe I was hallucinating. Then, there was a knock on my door. It was Sarah, and she let herself in. she stopped in the doorway, looked at the kid, and said, "who is this and what is he doing in your apartment with a dress on"? I said, "you mean you can see him- he's really here"? she said, "of course I can! What's wrong with you"? I told her everything. Somehow I knew, it was all true. She sat there with her mouth hanging open and said, "we need to figure this out. I think we need to do what we were going to do and drive into the mountains for the day and think it out". She then asked him, "is that ok with you honey"? he said, "I don't know why, but I trust you. You have the same name as my friend, and you remind me of her. Let's go"!

We piled into Sarah's car and took off. I don't know why she was attracted to me- I was a lowly security guard in the building where she had her office. She was a junior partner in a three lawyer firm. She said that it didn't matter- she could see the real me inside. We drove with the top down on her convertible and the kid just stared around him. We did stop at a Wal-Mart to get a pair of shorts and T-shirt for him. We left him his panties- it seemed like less of a hassle. We got to the spot where we normally hiked from and he said, "I love the woods! Are we going to go hiking"? just like I remembered- I had always loved the woods. I said, "I know a beautiful spot near a waterfall, where we can relax and talk". It took us about an hour to get there. My younger self kept running ahead and coming back all excited. Rachel and I held hands as we walked, and got caught up in his excitement. It was a beautiful spot. I laid out the blanket and Sarah unpacked the picnic lunch we brought. After eating, we walked around a bit and then the kid asked, "so tell me how I turned out. Is anything like I hoped it would be"? I told him about my life, and could see how disappointed he was. He said, "don't you remember our dreams? We wanted to somehow become a girl, and find someone to love us, and have a successful career as well. You didn't get anything right, except maybe Sarah". I didn't know what to tell him- he was right. I had made a terrible mess of everything.

We decided to go back, but as we started through the woods, nothing looked right. We got confused. It seemed as if we wandered around for a couple of hours, until we found the lot. There was a problem. Where Sarah's car had been parked, there was a 20-year old car. I said, "what the hell is going on"? I went over to the bulletin board and saw that the notices on it were dated 1984. I said, "this is impossible, but somehow we are 20 years back in time! Who is doing this, and how? Is it the same person that brought me forward in time"? Sarah said, "maybe my keys will fit in that car". She pulled out her ring, and sure enough, one fit in the car. We got in and took off for town. But, even then, things looked different. I suddenly realized where we were. We were about to drive into the town I grew up in. it looked just like it did twenty years ago. Sarah looked at me and asked, "where do we go"? I said, "I have no idea. We may as well go to my house where I grew up".

To be continued