Evanescence

Hi my name’s Raine.

I’m transgendered, a boy by an accident of karma. I believe I was a girl, a woman in every single life I lived before this one. I used to just dream about them in these strange dreams that I never really understood when I was younger. It wasn’t until I died but didn’t did things become clear.

Well not really clear. It was more like I had been unhappy most of my life. Not really like suicidal unhappy but like. Living in a deep pool of really murky water. Something was wrong in my life. Fundamentally wrong and for the life of me I didn’t know what it was. Until my 16th birthday. The day I got my license. I had fought with everything I had to scrimp and save and earn enough money to buy this really beautiful rust bucket of a 1989 Mustang. This was the car that was going to save my life. Instead it killed me.

See to explain I wasn’t your average guy. I was smarter than most. Kinda a geek and yet kind of average. I had three girlfriends but I couldn’t make it work out. I just couldn’t take the drama. I couldn’t get things right. Women bitch, pardon my French and guys, boyfriends ignore it, say they’re sorry or some other form of placation. No, not me. I bitched back. Not gay whiney bitch fits that the flaming types seem to throw, nor the yelling raging guy argument some guys do. No, I could follow all the little tangents they seemed to keep track of just as fast as they did.

Not what you want in a boyfriend.

After those three train wrecks I thought I was gay. Uhm…no. Now don’t get me wrong but I didn’t mind giving head too badly, loved getting it. It felt weird and off but??? I had no clue. And anal? Ow…never, EVER! Again. And doing that to the one guy I was with…shudder…you ever watch Ernest goes to Camp?…yeah, Eewww.

So I thought it might have been the kind of girls that I hung out with. Not really the cream of the crop at my school. I thought my having a car would get me to date at least the girls in the top 75-80% of the hot, decent girls in school.

Yep, I wasn’t just messed up. I was kind of selling out and headed towards being a dickhead eventually.

I bought a gram that night after the family deal and rolled a couple of joints and hung out with a couple of my friends Shaun and Mike both were kinda geeks but they didn’t mind me being messed up. I got stoned and I’ve been stoned before but…stoned, 16 years old in a car with way too much engine for me. I wrapped it around a power pole.

No seatbelt and I went through the windshield. I can remember lying in my own blood and it started to rain. It was so strange at the time that as I was dying I couldn’t help but think.
Every drop of anything is shaped like a womb…every drop of my blood, ever bead of sweat, every raindrop….

***
“Exactly my daughter.”
I’m still at the accident scene and looking at my body as the EMT’s work on me. I can feel myself but not see myself, or my spirit or whatever. What is however crystal clear is the fact I’m female. I can feel it and I know, I clearly know I’m a girl.
“Yes, yes you are.”
Okay…I looked around. There was this woman there. Now picture if you will The Goddess.

She doesn’t look like that.

Instead she’s about 5ft 7inches, and has hazel eyes, but this strange aqua tinted hazel like blue crept in there. She’d about 30ish not too young but definitely not old and tanned or dusky skinned but with straight long hair that is a medium brown with hints of red in it and blonde from being in the sun a lot. 36 C cup a Jenifer Lopez butt, a bit of fat in the abs like a lot of us and she looks like the tomboy model lovechild of every ethnic of earth. She’s beautiful, but not stunning…but her presence…She’s so literally woman that I’m remembering that I’ve always been one. I’ve been a woman in every life before this one.
“Yes, Raine until now.”
“Okay…What happened?”
“You were stunned and smoked too much dope and ran your car into the pole.”
I cross my arms, I don’t know how I know I’m doing that but I know I’m doing that and even standing with a hip cocked to one side.
“Funny, No I mean why am I a guy this time.”
“Asmodeus.”
“Guzsuntite.”
“He’s a Demon Lord he rules one of the hell planes and he hates you.”
“Why?”
“You killed him and he hasn’t been able to return to earth since.”
“So I’m getting for the moment who and why but how.”
“Genetics.”
“Huh?”
“Your mother was on medical steroids while she was pregnant with you and it pushed the odds of you being born a guy heavily in favor of you being born male, it’s all about the right hormones at the right or wrong times. I think he thinks this life might kill you for good.”
“Huh.”
“Conner Macleod, of the Clan Macleod you’re…”
“Funny, real funny, so I’m an immortal?”
“No, you’re you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’ll find out.”
I woke in the hospital, the dream or whatever and the feeling of my soul being female clear and true.

I still dreamt but I remembered it.

I was in Spain and was a very strange girl. I was a young noble lady, that could ride and use a bow and a flintlock or Wheelock pistol and was deft with a foil.

I remembered my dream…I speak Spanish now, court Spanish…I can fence, I know how to dance. How to wear those dresses…

My Name is Raine Mathews and I am the Evanescence of the goddess. And I need to be a girl, and I have no idea what to do…

Evanescence

Part 2

I was sitting in bed in the hospital watching the television. I’m freaked out beyond freaking out. I totaled my car; I went through the windshield and went into a two day coma. Here I met the goddess, oh no I guess not like that but THE Goddess. And she drops the F-bomb on me.

I’m some kind of person that keeps getting reincarnated. That in every life I’ve ever lived I’ve been connected to her and been a woman.

Okay now as crazy as this shit sounds it really makes an f-ed up sense. There was something in me that’s always been wrong and strange and off. Waaaay off. I had though of everything but that. And you know I though that it made sense as I woke up. My subconscious self was finally revealing to me what was wrong with me in a messed up way. I’m not stupid and I know about TG people so I thought this is the real me.

Then I had that way too real dream about being a woman, a kind of spoiled single daughter of an eccentric Don. Yeah a real old time Spanish Dom, from the royal court of Spain and all that stuff. The thing is I never, ever remember my dreams and this…this was like…like I lived it. You think that’s weird?

I’m watching Sesame Street on Spanish language television, the accents are horrible. They talk in that patois used by the peasants like those sent to the colonies of Mexico and California…I still understand Big-Bird perfectly. I’ve never taken a bit of Spanish in my life…Yeah weird. I can’t stop going from Spanish TV networks and take note of stuff. I catch some TV show about some female Zorro, there’s sword fighting, fencing and I know, I can feel it her footwork’s all wrong.

What the hell?

I’m actually stewing over this for most of the morning until my folks arrive. It’s really messed up with the Spanish girl in my head the first thing I find myself doing is checking out my mom and see if she measures up? To what, to some rich dead girls standards? Then it hits what I was doing and arguing with myself over and I’m not a girl…I don’t have that right and…goddess it hurts.

……….4 days later and I’m out of the hospital and in therapy and we kind of self destructed and unable to close Pandora’s Box or not feel the way I am…I lied. I told them I rammed the pole on purpose, that I wanted to kill myself because I wasn’t who everyone thought I was, I wasn’t who I thought I was and that I have always been a girl on the inside. Mom cried, Dad f-ing lost it and freaked out calling me a little faggot and a little freak. He belted me without warning so hard and so fast it took me out of my hospital bed and out onto the floor nearly out like a light and wanting to throw up, loose teeth…He was screaming at mom saying he didn’t want to marry her in the first place and that I was a fucking accident if I was even his at all. Mom screamed back that she told him the truth and that he was my father but if she knew the kind of life she’d be saddled with then she’d have had me with a turkey baster. “At least it’d show me more consideration and it’d stay hard!” I blurrily saw him swing at her and get taken down by a set of taser darts by security.

I’m living in a trailer park with Mom right now one town over and she’s got a restraining order out on dad. I’m in counseling because I admitted to trying to kill myself because I’m transgendered.

I know, I lied but it’s really easier to go through things this way and say that I’m this way because I’ve always been trans and that’s why I’m so strange rather than I’m transgendered because my soul is forever female and until now has kept being reborn as a woman….

I can see visions of rubber rooms, really snug and comfy jackets and haldol…

I’ve had my first injection after a couple of days with a psychiatrist and taking tests…and I quote the doctor. “According to the personality tests and the workbooks you are so mentally female you should be producing your own estrogen by sheer force of will.” They even did something called a PET scan that shows you how the electricity in you brain works as you think because she wants to write a paper on me or something…I haven’t said yes yet and apparently I have a female brain.

Oddly as freaked as I am over it and the goddess thing the scans and the things my doctor said about them leveled my mother off from freaking out quite a bit. She’s still quiet, still digesting everything and still pissed at dad. I’ve never seen her smoke, but tonight she’s on the patio smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer from the six pack she bought and watching the cars and stuff go by on the highway just down the hill from my house…trailer.

………….another three days. I got done praying to the porcelain god…yeah, I’m sure HE’S male and drag my butt out of the bathroom. Mom’s eating a bowl full of honey nut cheerio’s while watching the morning news before she get’s ready for work. She had to go back to work after breaking up or separating with dad. My face is still swollen a bit and bruised from where he punched me out of the hospital bed. She’s working as a police deputy here in town. I had no idea mom had been a cop before she met dad. It’s freaky and cool all at the same time.

“Sick?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”

“Morning sickness.” She says with a mouth full of cereal.

“What?, huh?”

“The HRT shots to start you off are making your body think you’re pregnant, so as it’s trying to fix things inside of you, you’re going to feel stuff like that until you level off and your body hits a new norm. It’s like dieting and working out you’ll plateau at a certain point and then you have to step it up.”

“Step it up?”

“SRS Raine.”

“Oh…yeah…” I can’t keep the smile off of my face at the thought of feeling complete.

“You really want this don’t you?”

“It’s not want mom it’s need.”

She gets up and hugs me and then gets dressed and ready for work. It’s so weird seeing her in a uniform with a gun and everything. She kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll see you this afternoon for your therapist’s appointment. Get some rest and try to eat something, yogurt helped me when I was having you.”

I watch her leave then feel HER there.

“Morning.”

“Hey.”

“Not feeling well?”

“No, I’m not and you know it.”

I look at her and she’s a little different this time, taller, her shoulders a little stronger…it takes a minute and realize she’s trans…right now….

“Uhm…can you like do that?”

“Do what?”

“Appear transgendered, like a MTF.”

“Apparently, I can…that’s new.”

“New?”

“Yes, new you see us “God” types we are made of majik, belief in a manner so complex we can shift between states and do things or majik but we’re subject to certain laws of cause and effect and limits posed on each other to keep the universe stable. It’s been awhile since I’ve been really active and material so I guess there’s a lot of trans-girls who believe in me and seek my peace, wisdom and council.”

“Uhm okay…”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve come here and the Trans thing is a lot more common now so…when in Rome.”

“So though this form is biologically male though.”

“No more than yours is or any other trans-girl, it’s just matter, Trans-girls are all female in their energy.”

“Oh, and you can’t fix them, us?”

“Nope, there are rules to stuff like that. If I mess with a person’s genetics then the not so nice ones can do it too.”

“Not so nice ones?”

“Asmodeus for one.”

“Oh, and that would mean?”

“Hmm, splicing demon stuff into humans or worse.”

“Worse?”

“Worse, pancakes?”

I feel a change in me and suddenly I feel good, better, hungry. “Uhm, yeah that’d be nice.”

THE Goddess starts making breakfast in our kitchenette. My life is SO weird.

“It hasn’t gotten weird yet.”

SEE she’s reading my mind, reading my mind is weird.

“Not that weird.”

Head-desk…uhm…table, whatever…

She’s chuckling at me. I sigh.

“Uhm, not to be bitchy but why are you here and what is it with me being The Evanescence even mean?”

She starts talking as she’s taking things out of the fridge that aren’t in there.

“Being the evanescence is a gift that my followers had realized in the past. Like the Tibetans the ancient Wiccan’s had learned to reach a higher state of consciousness. But being women it’s shaped by who and what they are so…in the spiritual essence of giving life and birth they discovered a way that let them transfer their memories and pass them on to their daughters. Their enemies found this out and slaughtered all of them they could find because once evanescence became fully awake she would have all the knowledge of her female ancestors. The last time that happened was the Amazon republic and our enemies destroyed that nearly root and branch.”

“How’s that even possible?”

“Energy, meets genetics?”

“Huh?”

“Energy and matter are transferable; humans now store information as energy on computers. Then it was so ingrained it was part of their DNA, through infusing their bodies with the right energies that they could control when they hit that level of consciousness they basically created a female based genetic memory.”

“Okay…but if they were leveled out of existence then why me?”

“The Amazons weren’t just destroyed but enslaved, you’re bloodlines meet the criteria for being the next evanescence.”

“But I’m a guy, or born male.”

“It apparently is close enough that the energies in that bloodline chose you.”

“But what does that mean?”

“The amazons weren’t what most thought, why they fought so well was they had a reason to.”

“And that is?”

“They were fighting to create a better place for humanity to live in. A global republic, one of peace and love and tolerance it was a utopian dream.”

“And?”

“And the things that change people sow the seeds of evil and destruction and jealousy wiped them out or tried to….are still trying to.”

“And me?”

“Yes, if they find out about you.”

“So what about me and this and what do I do?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?”

“Free will.”

“Oh, yeah that makes sense. So…what about us?”

“You...are filled with an evolving power and that’s why you can tune into me so much, most people only see glimpses of me and that’s colored by their beliefs. Me I’m actually here to try to answer what I can.”

“Great so you’re like my Help command in my Wiccan-pedia.”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t know what to do. Can’t you tell me?”

“Some things.”

“Like?”

“Eat your breakfast.”

And that’s the first time I gave HER the finger.

Evanescence 3

Part 3

It’d been three months and I’ve had two more dreams. The first one was me living in Louisiana. It was hot as hell there and I woke effected by the heat, my sheets sweated through and curled into a ball crying my eyes out until my mom can in and tried to calm me down.

The thing is I had been way back before the civil war. I was young and teenaged and strangest of all I was black. You know African American but with way, way more emphasis on the African part….Goddess, unless you’ve lived it and still I’m not sure I can even talk about this…That feeling drilled into you culturally over several generations that you’re nothing, absolutely nothing. A slave, property…I remember being young and pretty and that being seen like a curse. I remember being raped, taken and ordered to do such things by my Masters and the white men who worked for them…I remember being ostracized by some of the other black folks for being the master’s whore. I remember the men in the little shanty town we lived in taking a bit o’ what the white folks thought was so special.

I remember finding the goddess when I first danced in Voodan with my head full of drugs and a water moccasin draped over my shoulders………..D’ere was t’ings to learn and we, The Sista’s touched by de Goddess became part o’ de solution an not de problem. Our people was dying an we did all that we could do for them, we saved food and seeds and made potions to ward away the sickness and bad mojo. We made tings to make a man sleep or so his wee William would stop being able ta lead a man into his raping ways. We did da work ta get as many folk up to the north an other places ta be free. I remember the men come to us with the horses in the village and talkin to our master up at the house. They all had hoods on and they ran us out of our homes and beat us, whipped us an shot us…They was angry cause they found out what we women we doin, that not jus us women but Ni---rs like us stealin from them an getting out the slave’s from unda them…I remember how they raped me and my sista’s hard and then I remember…getting strung up.

It ISN’T a pleasant way to wake up being filled to screaming with the memories of all that sickness and abuse of a lifetime and just so much evil…then, of getting gang raped and brutally beaten before being hanged.

The Spanish noblewoman in my head still unsettled freaks out as she too is bombarded with it all. My mom is really freaked out at how freaked out and upset I am as I scream and bawl my eyes out.

She thinks it was a nightmare, she thinks it’s a really bad nightmare and she worries about me.

I’m worried about me too.
I do vividly remember seeing The Goddess looking like this mixed race very light skinned black girl with a half blouse and full skirts and her hair wrapped in a slave wrap with braids kind of hanging loose. I remember her arms around her legs at the knees tears streaming down her face as she cried silently for US tears streaming down her face.

We had just been a Gathering, just women who had started to follow something just to feel something bright in a reality full of evil and darkness when we saw her and she found us. We came from six neighboring plantations and used herbs and lore we had gathered to doctor our people, poison and drug those who needed it. We freed some slaves, we help others who were free but we did it quietly…It didn’t matter. I can remember now feeling, smelling and tasting something foul in that lynch mob. They were evil men but something was there pouring gas on that fire.

I’m getting it now.
I’m feeling that there is something out there something dark…and it want’s the darkness back. It wants the light gone and everything of it gone or destroyed or worse.

The second dream, the third life had been easier.
These dreams these lives though these are my lives live I have really led and lived and cried, breathe, loved and died in. After you remember just a few of these…you change.

It was easier and at the same time there was nothing easy about it. I was a young girl, a wiccan girl who was an oddball back home. A witches daughter, who lived in a cult or so a lot of the people in her hometown said. It was wrong really, the cult was a few hippies and like minded people in a few cheap cabins and small trailers out in hills outside of town. Not that it stopped the rumors any. Her mother and her partner were just hippies and dabblers with the ways of The Goddess in a small town in …Iowa.
I.. She had good marks but had gotten in trouble with several boys, trying vainly to get affection and acceptance from boys or men and all she got was a bad reputation, slandered from the small minded right wing people in town and pregnant she fled town.

She…I…just couldn’t live there anymore. I remember hitchhiking east. I can really remember her…Me…getting an Abortion in Buffalo.

Running away to NYC and living in The Alphabets…trying to make enough money to survive. Hitting a few hard times enough to make her really broke and homeless. Her faith wasn’t strong all the time, shaky most of the time as she became a hooker…men, boys, sex again and the drugs. Goddess the drugs, Cocaine to be a wild thing in bed, Heroin to just zone out into the darkness and sweet release of sleep. Then…Overdosing.

Like I said it’s been a month from my last death dream. My mom looks at me a lot and I know she’s got questions that she wants to ask and she SO doesn’t at the same time.

My hormones and blockers are working really fast and amazingly well. It’s energy, I can feel the three other lives in me, adding to me. So while not effecting me medically they are at the same time. It’s like my body is responding to things amazingly and my T. blockers are like anti-venom or something.

I’m starting girly bump beginner breasts already. My doctor say’s I might turn out quite “blessed.” The biggest difference is my skin and how it’s cleared up, it’s really different after I started to tan and use a bronzing sunscreen, that along with my hair growing like crazy and getting thicker and thicker but this really complex brunette color.

I can see the other version of myself in me in the mirror. I think.

My skill sets have grown and grown too. I can cook, My slave self was a kitchen worker for a time up in the big house. It felt good to cook for mom and be thanked for it. I cook a lot now. I’m putting things down or canning things too.

I’m also writing down all these recipes for food and potions and drugs that I know how to make now. I write with a noblewoman’s hand and in other books I write gothic poetry of The Goddess and draw and sketch. Like I said mom’s got questions and she’s fascinated at the same time…I’ve gotten looks from her but she hasn’t said anything yet.

………………..I check my saddlebags on my bike and then crank over the engine and just nearly idle my way through the trailer park. My neighbors are nice and I stop in at Mrs. Delaney’s trailer and stop. I knock on the door. “Hi Mrs. Delaney how are you this morning?”
“Oh, Alright I suppose love, come on in. Would you fancy a tea?”
“Alright but let me get it I can tell your arthritis is bothering you again else you’d be bustling about like you normally do.”
“Oh you don’t have to but thank you love.”
“My pleasure, now here this is a lotion for your knees it’ll take some of the ache out of them.” I pass her a jar of a balm with Aloe, Burdock root, Fever-few and a few other things that I’ve woken up the energies of what was in the plants and such with my own…It’s kind of like using energy to rehydrate the power in the plants and herbs.

I smile as I make the tea with loose tea leaves and hear her sighing with relief as she rubs in some of the balm. I serve up the tea and sit and sip and play a few hands of gin with her. It’s taken me awhile to find her in this maze of lanes and ways and streets that make up this part of town. Astrid Delaney was a witch, a former priestess of The Goddess she lost her gathering mostly through old age and disinterest the younger girls that seek wiccan are often just idle curiosity seekers and bored kids who don’t want to see the traditions through, or meditate for real or put in the work. I’ve been working with Astrid for a week now and she’s been a good teacher so far.

I stay and play cards with her and try to visualize her hands and obscure mine. It’s an exercise. I know it sounds far fetched and not like much but there are times I can feel what her cards are. When I’m in town I can feel things coming off of certain people or places. I can feel things like when someone hates me.

……….I’m in town and wandering through the farmers market and flea market and buy and pick up some more things that I need. I sell some of the homemade soaps and shampoos that I’ve made and several bags of my homemade muffins and rolls. I don’t have a job anymore having been fired for being gay?, trans? Me? It didn’t matter to old Mister Asher the law said he could fire me without a fight and he did.

I’m going to really miss working at Bl-ckbuster…sorry Ballbuster video.
NOT!
F-ing chain stores and restaurants should all be investigated for human rights abuses.

I see Shaun looking at a bunch of books that are in the science fiction pile at the used book section of the market….I haven’t seen him since the accident, since I told people that I tried killing myself because I wanted to be a girl.

I’ve got a Chai-tea in my hand and watch him for awhile. He’s walked past me three times now. There’s no way he’d really recognize me. I’m not the skinny geek I used to be. I’m a whole new kind of skinny geek. I use to wear plaid shirts and baggy t-shirts with ganger logos. Today I’m wearing a nice bra and underpants. A pair of fades jeans with a bunch of fashionable tears in them over a pair of black tights since it’s getting chill out and it can be cold on the bike. I’m wearing a pink support breast cancer t-shirt with a couple of necklaces and a bunch of bangles and bracelets on each wrist along with a simple zip up grey hoody over my tee-shirt and under my leather jacket. I’m a little surprised because it’s my old leather jacket before my change. I’m wearing sunglasses and my hair is tumbly and loose.

I miss him, He was one of my best friends and we would hang out with the other geeks and smoke a bit of pot or drink a little but mostly watch movies or play video games or more likely role-playing games like Rift’s or Shadow-run, or stuff like Warhammer and Majik the Gathering. I’m still a gamer geek and I’m rebuilding my decks and I’m buying or thinking about buying some new books. Yeah I’m still a bit of a geek and I always will be. I walk up and start looking through the books beside him sorting through them and sipping at my tea. “Hi Shaun, long time no see.”

*** Elsewhere…

There was a pain that came with it all. It hurts so good crossing over, there’s this compression that feels like you’re awake at being born again as My Essence is squeezed through the barrier between the dimensions.

The blood calls me, the essence of the sacrifice calls me and provides the power that tries to reach me from so far.

Heroin…drugs…in the system of this…Good, I’ve got a dick. I can smell the blood and see the marks left painted all over the drywall shouting my arrival. The dreams sent to him had worked and worked on his weak mind and he sought me out. Cutting his flesh using his blood to paint the sigils, to call me here from…there…He thought he was finding rapture in the blood, in calling me to shared his soul.

That’s what I am…I am Rapture.

I walk out of the reeking tenement of the crack house and into the nearest bar and push thoughts the energy of others away from me until I see a likely suspect. He’ll fit. I follow him into the bathroom and he notices me in the mirror as I plug a sink with paper towels as he’s washing his hands. Mirrors are fucked up things, they warp perspectives that whole right left thing…It’s why you can’t see some things like vampires or in some cases they’ll let you get a glimpse of my true form. If you’re a smart demon like me that’s useful. The sight stuns his mortal mind and with a quick move I smash his face through the mirror into the wall and he’s unconscious. I slit his throat into the sink and hold him there until he fills the sink and I say the words.

Words have power…each of the old words are formed and re-enforced with power over the ages. It’s like making candles. Layers of power and belief and tradition piled ontop of each other over time, over eons.

The blood is a medium, it’s power, blood holds power better than any other medium. I watch it bubble. Those bubbles aren’t from the drain, they come from somewhere else, somewhen else…The masters unheard voice makes ripples in the blood.

She’s here…The Evanescence is alive in the world again.

I leave heading outside leaving the body of the guy in the john while I’m wearing his suit and taking his money and things. He’s got car key’s It takes awhile for the brain of this meat-suit I’m wearing to recognize how to use the push button alarm to find the car.

I need to get where I can gather strength, where I can see everything and get lost at the same time. I get in the car and leave this south Miami pit and head north.

New York City…I’ll start there first.

Evanescence 4.

Part 4

Shaun looks over at me and then up my body then down my body in a definitely checking me out way. Then an !?!? look comes acrossed his face. “Raine?”

“Hiya Shaun.”

“Oh, oh, oh, holy shit dude, I like heard you were like nuts or something trying to kill yourself and thinking you were a chick and stuff but…dude!”

“Shaun.”

“Yeah?”

“Stop calling me dude.”

“Oh, shit sorry!”

“Shaun.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t call us chicks either.”

“Uhm…sorry..Raine?”

“That’s better.”

“Raine?”

“Yes Shaun?”

“If I can’t say like Dude then what do I say?”

“Hmm, I don’t know…Babe.”

I look at him; he looks at me we do it some more before cracking up laughing until we’re both in tears and hanging off of each other. I look at him after we catch our breath. “Where have you guys been?”

“Uhm, I was yanked off out east to Atlanta after your attempt to stay with my grandparents for the summer. I wrote but all my letters got sent back by the post office.”

“I thought you guys left me.”

“Mike, mike freaked out a bit about it and you trying to kill yourself and had all that shit going on at home so he split and took off and joined the freaking army.”

“Mike? In the army?”

“Hey they need geeks in there too.”

“Yeah and if he’s lucky they’ll pay for his education.”

“He’s still pissed about you not telling us that you felt that way.”

“I didn’t know at first. You know how I never fit-fit into anywhere really.”

“Yeah, even with us there was just a little something not clicking with you. But you know us out of outcast corner, just let it go and let a person just be.’

I nod as we say the cardinal rule of the schools merry band of geeks. “If it’s our business they’ll tell us.” We laugh a bit and I give Shaun a hug…he tenses…

“Shaun?”

“Sorry, I’m just not used to that yet. It’s not like you used to go around hugging people you know.”

“I’m a girl, we’re allowed to hug.”

“Okay…here.” He opens his arms. I hug him. He squeezes my ass.

“You’re such a dick.”

“Yeah…is that penis envy I hear in your voice?”

“No, I’ve still got it.” I grind against his leg, squeeze his butt.

…oh

…I feel my nipples harden girl like for the very first time.

“Raine, I hope…are you gay?”

“Nope, I like boys.”

WTF!!!

I didn’t know that until I spoke it.

“As a girl?”

“Yeah…”

“So you don’t want my body?”

“Nope.”

“Oh so you’re joke humping me then?”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Okay then.”

Shaun goes promptly back through digging through the fantasy and sci-fi books in the bin. Okay I might have just lied to him a little? I’m not sure. Shaun’s changed being away’s been good for him. He’s about an inch or two taller and put on some muscle and he’s got a tan. Is it getting warmer? Wow I guess my hormones and instincts are kicking in. I reach over and run my had over his upper arm.

….yum.

“Uhm wow, you’ve been working out?”

“Naw, got stuck doing loads of farm work and Grandma and grandpa still burn wood so lots of time with an axe chopping wood.”

“Paid off.”

“Raine?”

He’s looking at me, then my hand then me again. Then he leans in and kisses me. It’s clumsy on both our sides but sooo good at the same time. I feel more than girly as all sorts of sexual memories. The hurt from my black slave self, the virgin Spaniard noble girl who loved men and was a massive flirt, the Goth addict prostitute in loved and hated sex, men and ached myself at the same time. Then my current nature hit me with cruelty. I break the kiss and back away. “I’m sorry…God I’m sorry Shaun…I’m not…” He grabs my wrist and doesn’t let go. “Raine, Raine….Raine chill out. I know who the hell you are. I don’t care about details. You’re my best friend….I…I’m glad you were my first kiss.”

I stop but there’s tears sliding down my cheeks.

“Your first kiss?”

“Yeah.” He blushes a bit.

“Mine too…I’m sorry…It should’ve been with a real girl.”

“Raine?”

“Yeah, fucking stop it. You’re a real girl, hell you’re a real person. My best friend, real chick or not you’re gorgeous and my best friend. I’ve dated just like you and you know that looks and stuff don’t mean anything if you end up not liking the person you’re with. I already like you, hell tons, now you’re even better, and sweeter and very, very pretty.”

“You..you think I’m pretty?”

He rolls his eyes. Then looks at me. “Yes.”

“And you say it doesn’t matter, I mean about?”

“Raine when were we ever that shallow? I’m not one of the sheeple.”

“So…”

He pulls me in and kisses me again. I kiss back and see HER smiling at me. She mouth’s to me (enjoy it, he’s a rare one.)

I slip into the kissing very, very PDA. My inner Spaniard is a very accomplished kisser that’s mixed with my first time excitement and the other two’s need to be kissed by a good man. I know Shaun he’s a really great guy and There’s parts of me right now really needing and aching someone good.

My whole body is aching and tingling.

We must have made out for an hour.

I can feel how I’ve made him feel, even though he knows and he goes to second base tentatively over the shirt. That hurts so good I’m nearly whimpering, nearly…

We stop kissing and look at each other smiling, we walk around eye-shopping the stuff in the stands for awhile until his cell-phone rings. He excuses himself to talk on it a few seconds and comes back. “I’ve got to go but are you busy tonight?”

“Uhn not until really late why?”

“You want to come over to the house? Jamey’s starting up a new game of Shadow-run you feel like getting back into gaming?”

“Uhm, yeah! Unless you think the guy’s will freak out about the new me?”

“Yeah they’ll freak because it’ll be the first real live girl in the group.”

I blush.

“C’mon over early Raine I’m cooking supper tonight you can eat with us.”

“You cook?”

“Yeah Grandma taught me some stuff and she’s got arthritis really bad sometimes so there were things she loved but just couldn’t do anymore. Besides the way to a girls heart is through her stomach right?”

“I like food, but …I like shoes too.”

“Gawd Raine your such a girl.” He rolls his eyes.

“Whaddawehaving?”

“Gumbo.”

“I’ve never had Gumbo, I heard it’s spicy.”

“It’s awesome, it’s my own recipe and grandma’s too.”

“You thinks your folks will mind?”

“No, it might be a bit awkward at first but they’re pretty accepting really. I mean look at our gaming group and us taking over the basement for our games room.”

“Yeah okay I’ll be there.”

I give him a light kiss before driving my bike back home and put my stuff away and hit my books studying from some that Astrid gave me and write myself my own notes in my grimoire.

The grimoire is a spell book, yeah I know that sounds like wizards and mages and stuff. What a true grimoire is I guess the best way to describe it is a milestone, it’s making your majiks concrete in the world. First you have to know mana is a living force, like all of nature it must be respected. You if you’re like me must follow our rules, doing no harm deliberately to another. No vellum, no leather can be put into your book. You must craft it all, all of it. There are some things you can buy like the paper and stuff. But go as organic as possible. Mine is thin wood covers I got from a guy who makes cedar shingles but I wanted the wood really thin and sanded. Then it’s clothbound in several layers of cotton died and glued with ones I made from scratch. I even made the ink from Gall from a Rowan ash. The paper I bought from a Rastafarian holy man Astrid gave me the name of. Cleansed and blessed raw hemp paper dyed with Turmeric.

Why, it’s because you put power into everything. You put essence into it that makes it different than doing magic. Hmm, okay casting with mana is like exercise it burns up energy. Casting with essence is like giving blood, you recover from both but there’s a huge difference.

You put power Essence into every bit and piece and word of each spell. This takes time, because you’re replacing first the physical energy from when the parts were alive but you make your spells even stronger because you use essence. It grounds your spells in the book. The spell in this book are alive with magic and makes this little bit of a difference because reality then knows this magic exists already, it kind of makes the magic more of a fact rather than a fantasy.

Complicated, time consuming and tiring yes.

I did that for about three hours and SHE is there watching me. Making me the occasional cup of tea, correcting me on saying some of the elder words. I cast my first dynamic spell today. It’s a ball of light. I put my mana out there until I can feel the available light and stick my power to the energy particles of the light. I gather them together and hold them together. Light is the opposite of darkness and it is easier to feel. Dynamic spells use power to take one form of energy and use it as another or differently. Dynamic-Dynamo…I think you get the idea. One four inch ball of light about 40 watts left my feeling like I ran two blocks.

It’s one thing to do potions and charms and stuff you can’t “See”. This, this was very different. I made light!

I feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway. “I!, I have made fire!” I kinda lose my Wicca innate coolness in completely geeking out. I do a few really geeky kinda stripper girl dance moves because I rock. SHE dances with me. Yeah, SHE’s definitely better, professional dancer, Arabian Madonna, and stripper rolled into one. It’s hypnotic and energizing as she teaches me, moves me, the motions become…so female, so womanly they are part of my soul…souls?

Dance…dance is prayer.

My phone rings shaking me out of my trance and I answer it. “Hello?”

I hear Shaun. “Hey, are you coming over?”

“Oh crap am I late?”

“No but I though I’d call you. I wanted to know if you liked corn bread.”

“I don’t kn…” My slave self memories flood me about cornbread and I salivate. “Ah, luv good cornbread cher, Kin ah bring quel-que-chose?” I slip into Cajun sultry by accident my speech patterns my slave self’s in my voice.

“Uhm…I…Just yourself, I’ll…Nice accent by the way.”

“Th..thanks just something I’ve been working on.”

“I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Uhm, yeah..”

I hang up and SHE asks me there again. “So, What are you going to wear?”

Evanescence 5.

Part 5

“OMGdss! Shit!, shit, shit, shit!” I repeat over and over as I rush through the trailer hopping into a colder than I like shower and get f-ing shampoo in my eyes and then drying off and running into my room and start to delve through my meager closet.

Of COURSE, SHE is there and with every choice I make she’s going.
“Nope, I don’t think so, too flirty, too dowdy, too butch….”

She is having waaay too much FUN with this.

I’m getting frustrated and I’m already nervous as hell because I think I just might have a thing for my best friend. “You’re not fucking helping you know that!” I bitch at her with my hands on my hips.

“You want my help?”

“YES!”

“You’re taking your motorbike?”

She rummages through my clothes and tosses me a push up bra and nice panties and then a pair of tight faded jeans and grabs one of my old boy t-shirts my old Led Zeppelin one with the album cover of houses of the holy on it. She takes a pair of shears to the bottom of it making it a loose belly shirt.

“Ooh, very biker chic.” I smile as I’m squeezing myself into the jeans. I have to jump up and down twice before they slide into place. They’ll stretch thankfully. I look at that shirt… “I can’t wear that it’s just too redneck.” I grab one of my favorites a soft pink cashmere sweater and pull it over my body and adjust it right.

SHE smiles at me. “Good girl, that’s the spirit.” I stick my tongue out at her then put on a…No, no make up right now. I put a few things into my purse and stuff my purse into my backpack. I put on my gloves and leather jacket and head out the door and turn my bike over and drive out of the trailer park and head through town towards Shaun’s house. I stop at the grocery store and get a bunch of junk food and a bouquet of flowers for his mom.

I pull up to Shaun’s house and smile but I’m so nervous. The house is nice but really old and nearly three stories and is a old farm that his parents moved to leaving California for here when Shaun was like five years old. Hell we’ve known each other since primary school. His parents are really different but in a cool way. His Mum’s an organic farmer and grows her own vegetables in these raised beds made from recycled/re-purposed lumber and compost. There are two greenhouses and several fields of weird heirloom varieties of things. She sell a lot of stuff to the grocery stores but mostly she sells milk crates of organic grocery orders that she delivers to clients like the milkmen used to.

I think I’m going to like her more and more than I used to. THE Goddess is very up to date and a really green goddess. I see charms tied to fence posts and blessing charms tied to the sticks saying what’s planted where. Shaun’s mom’s a wiccan? I take a second look, They’re a different manifestation face charms, all made out to Gaia the Earth Mother. That’s just another face for HER.

Shaun’s Dad is an engineer you can tell by the garage full of recycled junk that he’s always turning into something else. If not that then the solar panels in banks on the roof of the garage and the house and the windmill set up just out of the way.

I see the cars of the guys and his parents in the big gravel driveway. I park the bike and slowly get off. It’s the longest thirty feet of my life walking up to the screen door at their porch. I know everyone here. They knew me and I’m scared, shaking just a little bit.

I take a breath and another…~Goddess?, Please Give me strength!~

I’m suddenly not there on the walk, I’m back to earlier Kissing Shaun and him kissing me and reliving how much I loved that. How much about the new me I discovered then. The comment about the guys and having a girl there in the group.

Yeah, yeah…I’m a girl, I’m a decent looking girl (If I do say so myself.) and these guys aren’t used to that!, I can do this. Yeah I can do this.

I walk up and ring the doorbell. You don’t usually do that here. You just go in but I do want to make a good impression. His mum comes to the door looking puzzled. “Hello? Can I help you miss?”

“Uhm, Hello Mrs. Quinn it’s me Raine.”

“Raine?….oh my, Raine…”

I can’t help it I’m nerved up and scared and this isn’t the guys it’s being judged by another woman. I lower my eyes. My shoulders kind of hunch from my old habit as a guy, and from my slave life.

She comes outside and hugs me. “I’m sorry honey, I mean we heard things and Shaun told me when he got home this morning but I’d never guess you’d be this pretty. Come on in the house Raine, you’re welcome here anytime. You might be different but that’ll never change. This is still practically your home too.” I sniffle and smile at her.

“I’m sorry for the EMO but I was really nervous and Y’know hormones and stuff.”

“I know honey but never admit to that in front of the boys, they’ll use it to justify all sorts of shit.”

As soon as she says “shit” I know everything’s going to be fine. Mandy Quinn isn’t the type of person to swear in front of strangers. Me, I’m different I’m family….It feels good to have that weight off of me. It feels good to be back.

As soon as we’re inside the smell hits me along with the warmed air from cooking and I’m shoved into experiences from my Slave self again…Gumbo, good gumbo from the smell of it too. I can smell greens and cornbread too. I can’t help but slip verbally as I take off my shoes.

“Dat Shaune, he’s done cooked us up some tres bonnes food non?” I see Mrs. Quinn look at me quizzically but amused.

“Yeah…Shaun’s learned a lot since he was gone. He left here a teenager and came back a young man to us. It’s really nice actually he helps a lot more with the farm chores and he’s into it. You’ve changed too Raine, Nice accent. Are you getting into drama?”

It was the comment on my accent that made me slip out of it.

“Uhm, no It’s just something I’ve picked up.”

“Well you do it perfectly, I’m from Georgia originally so I’ve been to most of the south as a kid and you just had a real mouthful of cotton there.”

“Mouthful of cotton? Did I mumble?” I ask.

“No, no it’s slang down home it’s an old saying really it just sounds like you were born down in the Bayou.”

“Oh, cool uhm thanks Mrs. Quinn. Oh these are for you.” I pass her the small bouquet of flowers.

She smiles as she takes them. “Sunshine Daisies (Gerberas), You didn’t have to Raine.”

“Well it’s good manners to bring something, and I couldn’t bring a bottle of wine so…I though you’d like them for the table.”

She smells them as she guides me into their kitchen. I love her kitchen because it’s huge with that farmhouse country kitchen with the old cupboards and that really long counter top. They don’t build houses like these any more. She takes then and puts them into an old pickle jar of water and arranges them out to look fuller before setting them on the table.

Then I see Shaun.

Tanned and lean yet with muscle clearly showing and him wearing this thin white muscle shirt…(I’m not calling it a wife beater, I hate that term.)…He’s just got denim  ¾ cut off like you see wrestlers like Stone Cold Steve Austin wear. It’s not like he’s a redneck, he’s not. It’s just comfortable probably.

Those pants…really show off his really cute ass.

He turns and smiles at me. “Hey the guys are downstairs watching Avatar on DVD until the food’s ready if you want to go down?”

“Uhm, I think I’ll wait until supper up here okay? That smells awesome.”

“Thanks, Gumbo is something that I can cook.”

I take off my leather jacket and go over to watch and peek curious from my southern life. I lean against the counter and he smiles at me. “Lemonade? Or Iced tea?” He offers.

“I’ll have an Iced tea thanks.”

He goes and gets the drink for me in a mason/jelly jar here that his family uses for cups I take a sip and smile. I missed this. Lots of lemon in it and earl grey tea with the bergamot too brewed hot and then sweetened just right with honey. These are flavors I’m used too, these are flavors my other selves have had.

“Mmm, I missed this.”

I watch him cook or finishing actually he’s adding just a few things to the gumbo just before he’s going to serve it. I see him taking out a tray of BBQ chicken thighs and he cuts them in two halves before adding them to the big pot of liquid. There’s some bits that come free and I sneak those and he slaps at my fingers each time I try with a “Hey!” he does peel the crispy skin off and feeds/or teases and taunts me with it before feeding me it.

Mmmn, It’s his dad’s recipe. Just some Jack Daniels BBQ sauce on the chicken and then it’s rolled in regular shake and bake. It’s a bit overdone and dry as we share the thigh meat but after some time in the gumbo it’ll soften and still be perfect. He adds in a bowl of shrimps in something called Seracha? And Old bay spice.

It doesn’t take long before he’s calling the guys up for Supper and his folks too. The guys stare at me. “Raine?”

“Yeah, Hey guys it’s me?’

“Jesus!, yer a babe!”

I manage too blush, but grin at them. We sit to eat and it’s awkward for awhile with me being so different. Until Shaun comes to my rescue by asking me what kind of character I’m going to take. I say that I’m not sure because I don’t know the new edition rules or changes and stuff. Jamie is our game master and has an OCD amount of books in about ten different game systems, that’s not counting stuff like Palladium’s Games or White Wolf stuff that publish multiple product lines. We don’t play D&D anymore we refuse to. There’s been too many editions and they stop producing the stuff you have or liked. Money grubbing arses. I’m sorry It’s a personal rant of mine. And like the time I’ve written in this paragraph we’re gone lost in the conversation of blissful geekdom. I’m soon just Raine again, I’m a girl because, They still kind of treat me like one, but like a sister whose not their sister. They watch some of what’s said because I’m a girl but they say stuff that they’d never get to say in a normal situation.

Oh BTW in my opinion TSR only made three good products. The first edition Advanced D&D, The Dragonlance hardcover rulebook to go with those amazing books and modules and advanced Marvel super heroes. They killed the love I had for it when they started changing too much and I Hate Wizards of the Coast for ruining it more.

I’m having a very good time. The gumbo’s spicy, really spicy and it’s weird My Spaniard likes the heat and yet the flavors are new, my southern self knows and loves this but she’s pissed because there’s stuff in this we/I don’t recognize in both taste and textures. She loves Okra that’s in it and I’ve never had it before or have really eaten spicy food like this. I mean we’re in Michigan.

The greens are different, I like collard greens and he’s done the pork fat bit right with the bacon but there’s diced hot pepper…of somekind in it. It takes me a few tastes before I like them.

His cornbread definitely needs a lot of work. Way to dry, according to the southern me. Myself, the me that’s always been me, been Raine is just all impressed as hell that Shaun can cook. Desert is awesome but simple Hot baked chocolate pudding with a spoonful of vanilla ice cream in the middle of it. Mmm, I suck on my spoon. I girl such on the spoon and happily go off to my chocolate place. I know the guys are all staring at me as I do that and Yes I’m doing it on purpose. (giggle)

It kinda makes me feel flirty in that good way. It makes me love being a girl now.

We do the dishes as a group and then head down stairs to start gaming and making characters. We listen to tunes and Benji is as funny as ever and Chris is still a goof. The only thing different is Mike not being here with us. When I’m not making my character I’m dancing to the tunes instead of plopping my but in front of the X-box. It takes hours to get things ready for our first session to get underway.

I’m playing a Mage-type of character naturally that is a bit of a shaman but a white girl who’s a blonde girl with dreadlocks and I use my slave self’s knowledge to role-play out her accent perfectly. I have a blast as we settle in for an All-nighter as a way to welcome me home. I call home to let Mom know where I’m going to be.

***

Athena:

I’m sound asleep after a bad night and an even worse break up with Nate. I found him cheating on me and he wasn’t really all that upset about it. “What did you really expect huh? You’re fucking driven to be some kind of super agent Andy you just don’t know to say when and come home do you?”

Well that led to a fight, and a screaming match. I’m so sick of people not getting me but I’m cursed. Literally cursed so there’s no guy who will ever get me. I’m more than driven to be the best FBI agent I can be.

I’m a Goddess, No I’m serious. My real self is the Greek goddess Athena. I’m immortal and was born right on Olympia. Why am I here, on Earth? I want a life, I want a life worth living and that wasn’t happening as things were. See we fell out of favor when the Romans switched to their one god. Faith equals mana, it creates the very power structure that we use to perform our majiks and use our powers. Without it we winnow away and are forced to leave the world of mankind and live our days in exile in the divine realms.

If you set foot on earth without enough power there’s ancient laws of power there that render you next to powerless or really close to mortal unless you’re in the power so strong you’re still very much a god or goddess. The Hindu gods are that powerful still.

I guess it’s kind of like money. If you’re ultra rich you get to go through life by different rules than if you’re broke. Power wise I’m broke.

I could have stayed home. But I’m not one to be like that. After a few thousand years the living with the arrogant useless people/gods/demi gods of home where driving me crazy. I’m a war goddess, I’m supposed to be a goddess of justice and wisdom. I just couldn’t stay there watching as people tore themselves apart while the things that went bump in the night still hunted and bumped in the night.

So I left home and came here. I’m so close to human, I need to eat and to sleep just not as much as humans do. I can boost myself and what I can do by using mana as well as use the majiks I do know. I can be killed and the body I’m in will die but I’m dumped back home to Olympia. There has to be a year and a day before I can return to earth. Each time I do it takes Essence from me in a permanent way. So each time I die I lose power forever from my true god self. Most gods are power hungry idiots who’d never risk reducing themselves since we are living on such low power. Existing really I don’t call it living.

But Nate left me for the girl he’d been sleeping with. My fourth trashed relationship. What I am doesn’t spare my feelings. I still went to bed more drunk than was wise and bawled my eyes out over being so lonely.

My radio kicks in blaring up the song by Evanescence “Bring me to life.” and there’s a feeling settling on me I haven’t felt in ages. I was in power then…Amazonian majik? Moving in the world again. There hasn’t been one of them…No. It’s her, It has to be.

The Evanescence of The Goddess has returned?

Why?

How? The bloodline was destroyed with the very last one being killed in Salem.

Confused yet? If I’m Athena then I’m Not The Goddess?

No, for one she is a primal force. Way older than myself. None of my Sister Goddesses are her or even manifestations of her. There’s a few ancient terms for her Like Gaia and Mother Earth and others, a lot of the goddesses of women and stuff are just copy cats and knock offs trying to horn in on her power. The Primals are forces not real Gods.

No.

They’re bigger, older around since the Old Ones.

Our interaction not much, most gods won’t go to something like HER, won’t ask her for help or teaching. Atemis did when she lost Orion. Atemis started the Amazons after that point. They recruited me as a agent of justice. We wanted to find a way then to change the world. To bring peace to the world and care for all under our care. My sister and I both gave our blood to the first Amazons to work the majik. My menstrual blood forever gone. The amazons would be my daughters. The dark forces that fed off of evil and conflict made sure they were crushed and gone. How dare we seek to change the world.

The Evanescence scared them. The great majik wielders of the Amazonians took the innate power of our blood and created a separate bloodline within their own bound by being users of mana. This was the power to have who and what they were as people passed down to the next generation through their majik. The fully realized Evanescence would rival us gods and more importantly rival them…So another reason they were obliterated and those that didn’t help destroy them…did nothing to save them either.

I’m still pissed about that betrayal. I’ll never be able to bear children. Not as a Goddess or here on earth. I’m still broke by that a little. I feel alone so much during times like these and not even human…I’m not, not really but It hurts…I feel like the biggest fake there is sometimes.

But this? Is it real? Am I feeling this? Is she here? Or am I just wishfully thinking?

My cell-phone rings and I flip it open lying in bed.

“Yeah?”

“DiMaggio?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“We got a murder for you, It looks like something you’re following.’

“Alright, give me a bit and I’ll be there. Give me the address.”

I get up and shower and get dressed and ponytail my hair back out of my face and pull it through the space in the back of my hat. I stick to my Victoria secret stuff under my dress pants and black bureau issued v-necked T-shirt. I pull on my thin Kevlar shaped vest under that though before I go out. I’m used to wearing armor. I might be a goddess but I’m not in a hurry to dies another mortal death or lose anymore power. Beside’s what I felt just changed things.

I put my back up in my ankle holster and my Berreta in my shoulder sling. I get guff from the guys at using it. It’s heavy and not as flash as the Glocks that everyone seems to like. I’m Greek and Roman both so I split the difference in this life and I’m Italian American.

I grab a Redbull out of my fridge on the way out and get in my Dodge Charger and head to the call.

Stucky’s is a cheap assed little strip joint on the edge of Little Havana. The Miami-PD are there and the CSI guys too. There’s some press and looky loos about but behind the tape. I see Jason Garret one of the office local agents and walk over to where he is with his partner Eddie Stone. Jason passes me a much needed coffee. “Morning Andy.” Eddie chips in with an “Andrea…this looks like your kind of freakshow kind of thing.” As he lights a smoke. I sip my coffee but my middle finger’s sticking out at him from around the cup as I do. “It’s Miami How can you tell?”

Jason looks at me. “C’mon.” and he heads inside.

The reek of Brimstone and Ichor fills my other-human senses. I see the tell tale signs of a murder but also of a demonic sending. A powerful dark demon was calling home for instructions. I look at the mirror over the sink full of now tainted blood. He smashed the victims face into it and I can see the fractal pattern in it left from the energy burn of the soul or the essence of the victim being burned away. It broke the mirror into a three armed spiral when the guy died. You won’t really see it unless you really know what to look for. I use some mana and a mild charm to pull their attention away from it.

The guy, the vic in question is folded in half and tied into a reverse fetal position…Yeah folded back to front. It’s really sick and twisted and a mockery of the form of a baby, of life of humankind. Demons like shit like that.

This is why I’m on the FBI’s serial killer task force and homicide investigation team. A good 20% of the serial killings that happen in the world are done by things that go bump in the night.

I go through the crime scene talking it up like the thing that did this really is a human who thinks he’s the thing that actually did this.

I track back the thing to where it came through. It was still hot as it were. It’s demonic power staining the earth like a radioactive finger print. I fake a hunch and a search as we narrow it down to the tenement where it came out of. The scent of death fills the place as dozens of strays were killed in sacrifice on a makeshift altar. The bodies were just tossed to rot in the Miami heat so the place id full of decomp smells and flies and maggots. I direct them around to get everything logged and bagged as I look at the writing on the wall over and over in the blood of animals.

Rapture, The Demon Rapture is walking the earth once more…If murder had a saint…

He’s here, He’s going to go after the girl. I have to find her before he does….

Evanescence: Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I didn’t last the all-nighter Shadowrun game. I lasted until about 4:16 AM and my spell casting for real and the excitement of the day had caught up to me. I just needed a break and had popped the tab on a red-bull and fell asleep on Shaun’s old sofa with out even touching the can.

Thankfully I didn’t even dream.

I woke up stiff and sore from the sofa and to the smell of sausage and syrup and my stomach sat up wide awake before I did and started to say hello. There’s a platter of scrambled eggs, waffles with syrup and some of those Jimmy Dean sausage patties. I smell coffee….Shaun

Shaun on the other side of basement doing laundry, folding clothes in just these tight, FORM fitting black boxer-briefs…Oh my Goddess he’s uhm…hung…

I’m not drooling over the food. He’s not just tanned but he’s all yummy farm boy buff.

That boy is as easily as hot as a thermo-nuclear grenade.

Or the sun.

Or Tom Welling…

He turns and bends to take some stuff out of the dryer.

Hello beautiful boy butt how are you this morning me? Oh I’m fine; I just wanna bounce on my best friend all night and go Yeeey!

And of course he just had to do that with me having a mouthful of coffee. I sputter and inhale that first mouthful and start choking. The Shaun’s beside me rubbing my back and gently thumping it.

“Good morning sunshine.”

“Kak, ghaya, cough.”

“Jeez Rainbow, you’d think you never had coffee before.”

“Snerfle…Don’t call me Rainbow, Sha-on.”

“You okay though seriously?”

“NO, Dammit why are you so hot?”

“Excuse me?”

“Yanno, hot, H.A.W.T.”

“Uhm you think I’m hot.”

“I dunno, I think it might be my hormones and stuff but yeah…”

“Raine, you got a long way to go on this girl thing. Chicks don’t tell guys they’re hot.”

I hit him.

He shoves me.

I hit him.

He kisses me.

My brain turns to microwaved cheez whiz.

Why am I doing this?

He’s my best friend.

I’ve got my tongue down his throat.

His hands are on my chest.

Oooooohhh! Dammit, that feels SO good!

I’m a trans-girl aren’t we supposed to not be all that into the sex stuff?

“Shaun, we…we…we’re friends.”

“Yeah, we’re like best friends.”

“Exactly, I mean I was like your best guy friend not that long ago.”

“I know, but Raine you’re beautiful, and hot and smart and we already know all of the shit about each other. I know you like me and I like you and you only live once so why the hell are we wasting time going in circles when we can just be together?”

“Wadda bout the guys.”

“I’m not into orgies.”

“No, like won’t it be awkward?”

“It is awkward orgies are like twister with juicy bits.”

I laugh into his shoulder.

“No dufus, what’ll the guys say?”

“They’d probably ask you out too.”

“You’re asking me out?”

“Tonight? You and me at the movies?”

“Shit! you are asking me out.”

“Yeah, and?” his hands massage my girls some more…ooooh, Goddess, Yes, yes Cheez Whiz girl go on date wit the pretty, pretty hawt boy. He leans forward and sucks on my right nipple through my shirt and bra. He’s not playing fair…my eyes keep wanting to roll back in my head and I want to hold him to that breast and stroke his hair.

Yes, yes more mouthing’s from Sméagol-girl’s precious.

What?…I’m a geeky girl who was born a boy who a witch, I’m not going to quote Shakespeare.

It takes superhuman effort to push myself out of Shaun’s mouth. I think my nipple was fighting me on it. I pull myself out of his hands and grab my coffee and hold it in both hands.

SHE is on the washer laughing. “That’s it get your arms in the way of them, defense, defense, raise shields.” Shaun can’t hear her and she’s got her hair in pig-tails and has big cute round glasses on and freckles, hiking boots and the first series Star Trek red mini dress. It takes Massive willpower not to throw my coffee at her.

“Shaun…we gotta stop.”

“Okay, but why? And don’t give me the we’re best friends thing.”

“I’m not ready…?”

He blinks at me.

I see HER miming holding a coffee cup with both hands up to her lips and blink, blink, blink…”Be shy, be demure, be sweet.” HER voice is that old actress from Mary Poppins.

How the hell did Luke Skywalker not punt Yoda like a little green football.

Sigh…I sip my coffee with both hands and look at him over the edge of the cup with my best deer in the headlights look.

“But, but…you started it, you said I was hawt?”

“Yeah.”

SHE hangs her head at him and pouts her lower lip out.

I hang my head and just kind of lightly look at him through my hair, I give him a little lower lip.

“And you wanna stop?”

I nod. “Yeah, I was getting kinda scared…”

“Oh, okay…I mean…shit sorry Raine…shit...I mean we where flirting, I guess I took it too far.”

“Uhm, it’s okay Shaun…I’m still getting used to this girl think like you said.”

He face-palms himself.

“Oh, god Raine I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How’d you mean it then?” I know what he meant but I ask with soft curiosity instead of using the bitch hammer. Okay, I’m hoping I’m right about what he’s going to say.

“I meant it like…usually there’s all these head games and bullshit with regular girls it’s like they think that some of the stuff is cute and fun and coy and all it does is make you feel jerked around and used. If something does seem to go good then odds are she dumps you for some one who’s better than you…”

I knew some of where he might be going with this and I’ve been there as a guy. But it’s so different hearing it from him. We were never the guys who got the girls. Me I know why now but Shaun’s a great guy and yeah too many girls in school, in life do that very thing. Trade up when they think they can get better, richer, better connected. Not all girls are like that, but far, far too many are.

SHE’s grumbling now all dressed as a way too darkly made over EMO-girl. She’s muttering and cussing about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Snookie…

“I just thought, here’s my best friend. A guy I’d have died for and now She’s this really beautiful girl. Yeah she’s a little different but…but…Maybe she won’t hurt me…”

Oh, Dammit.

I’m so confused right now. I get this but Shaun would never have been this open to me before. Me and my Spaniard are nearly in tears over this and how he’s hurting and the emo-goth hooker me and my slave self have been so abused by men there’s this whole mixture of Good! Like he deserves to feel like this just because he’s a guy and distrust because he’s a man and men lie.

But I know Shaun.

He’d never open up like this.

There’s more hurt there than just the usual.

Somebody hurt him.

I look over to him and he’s not really looking at me and instead he’s just sitting loose on the sofa but staring at a space on the floor like he’s thinking of somewhere or someone else and…whoever she was she hurt him.

“Shaun?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a tease.”

He turns his head to stare at me.

“Shaun, I don’t want to play head games, I’m your friend and I love you like that. I like you as the guy you are too as the girl I am. I like you a lot but I’m supercharged with stuff right now. I’m going through this weird second puberty thing and there’s times I’m so horny it feels like I’m boiling out of my skin. I know I hooked up easier as a guy but everything is different now.”

His hand reaches over and strokes my hair and my face. I hate this because part of me wanted to flinch.

“See Raine, that’s why your awesome. There’s no bullshit.” he get’s off the sofa. “Raine I’m going to hit the shower, you need anything else.?”

“Uhm no, thanks…”

He leans down and kisses me. It’s short but one of the best kisses I’ve had yet in my life. Shaun heads through a door under the stairs.

I slide off the sofa to the floor to be at a better height with the coffee table and use the sofa as a backrest. I slowly eat. I need to think…I need to think.

SHE sits crosslegged in front of me on the other side of the table, still all skater-goth-emo girl. SHE helps herself to my coffee and I can see scars on her forearms like she cuts. I stare at HER, SHE stares at me.

*** Elsewhere….Rapture.

He walked down the street hunting…

It was hot and sunny and he passed the kids park and a couple of ice cream sandwiches fell from his bag, the bait and the charm spell woven on them the hook. He saw the three kids stop and stare at them then him then run over and pick them up.

They argue for a bit before the two girls get the two boys convinced to return the ice cream to them. The charm dulling the sense of danger.

They run after him, they’re young under ten. He licks his cracked lips, he’s excited, drooling a little, the human form aroused. He pretends he doesn’t hear them because of his headphones.

He leads them into a building with a sliding garage doors. The darkness a balm for that unclean sunlight.

“Mister?, Mister?… You dropped these.’

The kids were holding out the ice cream bars.

“Oh, I never noticed. That’s really nice of you kids. Do you know that when you do nice things that you get to go the heaven?”

One of the girl nods. “Uh-huh, that’s what my mummy says, she said if I’m good then when I go to sleep like grammy did I’d get to see everyone I ever knew and loved and stuff.”

He pulled a large long knife and pressed the button on the door release. “The bitch lied.”

…..fade to dripping red.

Athena-

It took hours of investigating the crime scene and the “Cult” site. The guys aren’t too bad but the local cops are more blasé about the whole thing. Miami…One of the worst cities for murder than any other in the United States.

I go through the motions as I seem to be stringing together mumbo-jumbo from a lot of occult sources. Most humans won’t know the difference in what I’m talking about. The one’s that do. Are players either on one side or the other.

Rapture’s walking the earth again. He’s a nightmare, a true demon and he’s violent, psychotic and very, very old. He was killing those of us from the light since well before the one god religions were about.

Once every one has left I’m sitting in my truck thinking.

The guys come over as they’re leaving. “Andrea get outta here this shit will drive you crazy.” “Yeah, Andi, get some sleep.”

I nod and smile a little at the two of them. “Thanks for worrying guys but I’m a big girl I can take care of myself.”

They leave and I wait until I’m alone. I take the cremation urn from my glove box. “C’mon Father Patrick, let’s go to work.” I get out of the truck and walk to the bar then shake the former roman catholic priests ashes out over the ground. As the fall they only fall on Rapture’s footprints. It’s one of the things that the ashes of a holy man can do, reveal the tracks of any foul supernatural being. Pat’s a good Irishman, he’s helped me find a few nasty things in my time. Still doing his job long after death.

The tracks lead to where a car would’ve been parked. Dammit he’s in synch with his host. I can only track him like this if his feet are on the ground. He’s got a vehicle and he’ll get out of here. He knows a hunter will come for him.

I drive around, looking in the worst shit holes in town. He’s going to need to feed and he does that on the power of the blood. The sheer terror of the kill and pain and suffering.

3AM and nothing. I’ve been at it all day, most of the night. I head to my last chance.

It’s a run down old trailer in the midst of run down old trailers in the middle of nowhere. There’s candles lit and as I get out of my truck I can smell some kind of jerk spiced stew cooking along with several noxious potions. There are locals out looking at me and looking at me like I’m a victim, like I’m fresh meat. It’s a neighborhood filled with illegal’s, those from Cuba and Central America and Africa as well as the Caribbean little Haiti is dangerous. They don’t run yelling la migra or les federales. No here they get ready to hurt me. That is until they see where I’m headed and who I’m going to see.

She’s playing “Black Magic Woman.” By Santana of her Stratocaster guitar. Her long brown hair bouncing in the night air with these square framed glasses that set off her look. She’s not Hispanic or black but a white girl and she would stand out here if she wasn’t a powerful voodoo practitioner. The locals both fear and respect her. I take out a vial of the tainted blood and wait until she’s done playing. It’s best not to aggravate a source like this. She finishes the sets her guitar down and looks at me through the rims of their glasses.

“Athena…”

“Actually it’s Andrea this time around. Andrea DiMaggio FBI.”

“DiMaggio?”

“What can I say, I love baseball.”

“You don’t traffic with my kind often Andrea. What do you want?”

“I need some help Jonelle, Rapture has landed into the world again.”

She looks pissed, really pissed at hearing that.

“Why, why now and who let his ass out of hell?”

“It was some schizo junkie, I think He’s wearing the douche-bag but I don’t know who or what was whispering to him.”

“I’ll look into it. What do you have?”

“This.” I toss her the vial. “He did a communion.”

She catches it and several of her charm bracelets she wears flare to life and I can see protective glyphs orbiting her hand. Invisible to the mortal eye there’s enough power in them she can fight the unnatural barehanded. Jonelle is a powerful worker of majik. One of the most potent in hundreds of years, a crafter of her own spells.

She kneels moving things aside clearing a space on the floor. I watch her draw a circle of both power and protection. She’s gathering herbs and other components. This stuff has innate powers anything used in ritual over time sort of gets the majikal rep of being something or doing something. Jonelle like others use this to boost her powers and lessen the strain of what they do.

It takes about an hour then she sits in the circle and drinks down the vial of demon majik tainted blood. I nearly throw up just knowing what essences touched that. She cries out instantly and her eyes are solid red like the blood and she starts to twist and turn and convulse as far as I can tell riding the evil and infection of the dark power.

Her screams hurt me, the sounds of the agony that she’s putting herself through…she’s letting both that thing Rapture and it’s Master touch her…Then the trailer in dropped in darkness. Every candle blazes brightly and the stench of sulfur…brimstone fills the air.

She screams and it’s inhuman, then she’s convulsing speaking in tongues that if there where not for the circles would have killed plants and small creatures by the dark power of those words. It lasts maybe twenty minutes and she stops, she stops…she stops breathing.

***

Raine….

I’m driving home after being at Shaun’s. I need space, I need air and to just get my head about how I’m feeling before our date tonight.

I’m going on a date with Shaun.

Holee crap.

I’m or I think I was pulling to the turn to my place when everything turns red. Bloody red light fills the air this place. I see this girl, skirt, blouse, dark hair and glasses in a mystical circle and there are things, darkness itself given form pulling themselves free of her and taking her life with them. The circle keeps them in. She’s in trouble. I see her go down…

I reach out to her…I’m the Evanescence, I’m this for a reason and if this…saving her isn’t what I’m here for it is now. I see her fall. I reach out to her…I can make light. If these dark swirls are killing her then…

Light…light equals life…gather the life, like gathering the light together…I…

The bike slides out from under me as I miss the corner. I’m tossed over the pavement, then the gravel and hit the ditch…

This, this is far more than me…I can’t let the pain take me away from here…with this girl…

Gather the light, gather the life and to ….That song, My song runs through my consciousness…I sing it to her as I push what I’ve gathered to her…

***

Athena…

I see Jonelle fall, the darkness around her, us too much. I’ve killed her…

Light…

Light brighter than I’ve ever seen fills the circle.

Fills Jonelle until it streams from her eyes, nose, mouth and ears…something touching her, burning the darkness away in that circle.

I hear music a popular song, the one I woke up to yesterday.

It comes through the light and cuts through that darkness.

~How can you see into my eyes like open doors.~
~Leading you down into my core.~
~Where I’ve become so numb without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold.~
~Until you find it there and lead it home.~

~Wake me up!~
~Wake me up inside…~
~I can’t wake up!~
~Wake my up inside…~
~Save Me!…~

Jonelle screams it out along with the light as the things are burned apart, destroyed by that light that brought her back from death.

The world brings itself back to normal.

Jonelle is steaming from the power and the energy used, coughing out smoke like vapors.

She looks at me hers eyes still holding a bit of shine of that power.

“She…The Evanescence…she saved me…(Coughs) I seen where he went…We have to go…Rapture’s on the hunt…”

“Where?!”

“I don’t know, but I’ll recognize it…take me.”

“Fuck! Alright, let’s go.”

I have to carry her to the truck and she directs me north to the interstate. I hit the lights and step on the gas. If he’s hunting I can’t waste any time.

***

Raine…

The girl awake…the darkness gone I drift back towards my form.

I end up in that darkness of being unconscious.

Until I here the crying…

The sobs of a little girl…too little, too young. I run, I run to her.

I have to save her.

Because I can feel it getting closer and closer.

Then I’m shorter and lying on the ground. There’s a skinny junkie covered in ink with a really long hunting knife stalking a young boy. I get up, I’m in, I’m with the little girl.

“Leave him alone.”

He turns to look at me.

It.

It’s not human. I see this shadow thing pulse and push out under the skin of who he’s wearing.

“You…” He hisses. “I’m coming for you.”

“I’m right here.”

He turns from the little boy and the two other kids and I run. He chases me. There’s a couple of times he gets close to me. That knife slicing and scraping the walls and the crates and he cuts me once on the shoulder. I push light into his face with both hands like I’m pushing water at him. It burns and singes him…it. He backhands me twenty feet away and I feel my/her left arm break.

He’s really pissed off now. He comes at us with the knife ready to stab me.

***

Athena….

I’m speeding as fast as the damned Escalade will go. The light’s on flashing and I’m nearly sick with fear as Jonelle’s babbling about the pretty little ones. How he wants them so much.

How he likes hearing the sounds of them laughing and playing.

She laughs and cries at the same time too much.

She’s driving herself crazy by tracking him through his eyes.

“Oh Goddess, Andrea…! He thinks the innocent laughter of chil…of …of kids is like the sound of frying…steaks…”

“Just hold on Jonelle, hold on please…”

“Athena!, turn!, turn here!”

“Where?!”

“Down there!” She points over the side of the overpass I’m taking an exit off of Fort Lauderdale’s older industrial area.

I see a sigil in majikal power over one building…Thirty feet tall and calling to anything of the light to come. To help whoever is there.

…I can feel the fear now of the children.

I can feel the evil there.

Jonelle coughs. “Give me your gun.”

I pass her my Berretta. She starts speaking over the gun in Latin, in church latin. Blessing it.

I pull through the streets. Taking corners as hard and as fast as I can. I see the place. I cut the wheel at the alley and again partway down it as Jonelle’s giving me a play by play of the battle between The Evanescence and Rapture…If he kills her he’ll kill more than the child she’s bonded with.

I take my truck right through the slide down metal door. I see him coming at her with the knife. He looks like a wild freak, messy long hair, unshaven for days, Methe-head tweeker skinny and covered in tattoos. He’s in a hoody and jeans. The little girl’s about nine, her clothes are torn and dirty, she’s bleeding but over her like an aura of power is the image of this girl, a young woman. She’s just a spectral image, but injured, hurt from something else.

I bail out of the truck and yell. “FBI!”

Rapture laughs at me.

I open fire.

He does majik and blocks the bullets I fire with his knife. Nothing human can do that.

But Rapture is far from human.

He pulls a piece of his own and opens fire on us.

Jonelle’s crazy and runs into the gunfire.

The only way I can try to save her is to keep shooting, keep him busy, throw off his aim.

Jonelle gets one in the leg.

I get one in the chest. The vest catches it and I wasn’t what I am it’d have taken me off of my feet.

Jonelle hits him in the face with Patrick. Father Patrick O’Conner a damned good man, a fine priest and once a pillar of the community of Newark New Jersey gets to take one more swing at the fences. From the inhuman shriek of pain He did good.

Go with God Patty-Boy, I’m glad I knew ye.

I empty the rest of my clip into him. Seven old blessed rounds, an old blessing from the crusades with Jonelle’s power behind it. I can see the power puncture into the demon. It screams in pain and rage. I see it swing at the little girl with the knife. I heard Jonelle scream. “No!” I see the overlaid image of the young girl, The Evanescence block the knife with the image…He’s cutting into her forearm and not the little girls.

I pull one round, solid silver from my jacket pocket charging it with my own power. Then I chamber the round as he’s trying to cut the girl again. The Evanescence takes another hit, getting cut over her right hand.

He goes for another stab attempt.

I scream. “Rapture!”

He turns hissing, blood spurting from the mouth of the tweeker he’s wearing. “Athenaaaaa”

I fire.

He goes to block me again. Jonelle grabs his arm with the knife.

I blow the back of his skull off.

The place shakes and trembles and the lights all blow when he leaves. His essence sent back to hell. Kind of like when you see a demon leaving it’s host on that TV show Supernatural. Black ink like smoke pouring out of the body and literally into the floor. The light show is much like on Highlander. Sometimes life and art you know.

The girl, the image stares at us for just a moment and then dissipates away turning to motes of vanishing light.

Jonelle’s holding the little girl and the others that rushed to her.

I call it in and call for extra units and ambulance’s. I lean back and sit on the bumper of my truck.

***

Raine….

I hurt all over.

I see HER there smiling down on me.

Wow, SHE’s so shiny.

SHE’s crying, but smiling down at me. “I’m so proud of you honey, I’m so proud. There’s help on the way.”

SHE cradles me into her lap and she sings to me.

“When I find myself in times of trouble.”
“Daughter Mary comes to me.”
“Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
“And In my hour of darkness.”
“She is standing right in front of me.”
“Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

“Let it be, let it be, let it be, oh… let it be.”
“Sing those words of wisdom let it be…”

Yeah SHE changed the words right…I still love the song and I’ll touching my ex-slave self and singing it like a slaves gospel. As the police pull up and SHE fades from my sight smiling at me.

I think I’m going to pass out again.

Dammit my date!

Evanescence 8

Chapter 8

I wake up in the hospital again. Mom’s there in uniform. “Are you okay?” she asks me. I’m blinking as a little dazed. “Uhm yeah, I think so…ow.” My right arm hurts like the dickens. It’s in bandages and in a sling. I look at mom. I remember being on my bike then there was… (Best not to tell her about the majik stuff.)
“I remember driving and then taking the corner then the bike just went our from under me. I think I might have hit some loose gravel that had come off the side of the road onto the pavement.”
She runs her finger still through my hair, the gesture is so sweet. “I remember telling you that motorcycles are dangerous. Do you know what we call bikers on the job?”
“Yes Mom.”
“And what is that my oh so smart daughter?”
“Organ donors.”
“That’s right organ donors.”
“Were you drinking?”
“Mom!”
“Were you drinking?”
“No!”
Mom really gives me the frown, oh…not the mom frown, not even the cop frown but she gives me the mom cop frown. Oh the look on her face tells me she thinks she’s smelling bullshit.
I can’t help but laugh, and dammit it hurts to laugh.
She crosses her arms across yet under her breasts in this angry woman meets cop look.
“And what the hell are you finding suddenly so funny?”
“The look you’ve got on your face.”
“What look?”
“Like when dad used to fart in the car.”

We both get a little quiet at that, at the reminder of my times with him. And of course my HORMONES just had to kick in with the thing that happened but didn’t happen with the thing and the new lives and the nightmares and being a girl it all rushes together and normally I can handle this, I can.

The wipe out on the bike is just one thing too much and even if I’m not badly hurt it just pushes me over the edge and I start crying.

I want my daddy.

It’s not a major freak out but just something I needed to purge out of my system.
It just hurts. It hurts a lot.
I mean I get it. I was his son. I might have been a fuck up to him and even to others but at the same time I was his only son. And a father will have this great bond with his son. That’s gone.

It’s just….
It’s just…
I’m a girl now.
And every little girl loves her daddy. That’s the way that it’s supposed to be. Instead I broke our family apart.

Mom takes me to get discharged and is pushing me in the wheelchair through the lobby when Shaun shows up with his car at the front entrance and he’s got a big bouquet of pink roses and mums in his hand for me. There’s a few wild flowers and even sprigs of healing herbs in the bouquet. It’s tied with twine and is lovely. He never bought this and I’m thinking it came from his mom’s garden.

It’s still really sweet of him. I smile at him. “Thanks Shaun these are really sweet.”
I kiss him on the cheek and he holds the door open for me to get in his car.
I can feel the writ and engraving of protective charms under the paint job of the car, some one had done this recently within the year.

Apparently Shaun’s mom is one crafty old witch. Okay sorry 40 something isn’t old. But you know it sort of is for a witch. We tend to get killed a lot.

“Shaun? You make sure you get her home safe and sound alright?” My mom the cop.
“Yes maam.”
“Good boy.”
He closes the door for me then goes around to the other side and gets in the starts to drive. “So are you really okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine I’m just a spazz is all.”
“Are you sure?” he’s giving me this concerned look.
“You know you wouldn’t have asked me twice a few months ago.”
“I wouldn’t have done a lot of things with you then.”
“True, it’s weird because I uhm did fool around with a guy once and I didn’t really like it then.”
“And now?”
“I’m really attracted to you. I think the right hormones must have a lot to do with it.”
“Well I’m glad for that.”
“You are? I mean you like said but you know I’m still Raine right.”
“Yes Raine I know who you are.” He rolls his eyes at me and finishes with a duh expression on his face.
“I smile my best Spanish —Hottie smile at him going all sexy seductress on him. “Shaun honey you’ve got no idea who I am.” Too true, too true.

We pass by a few fast-food places and my stomach growls loudly. I used up a lot of power in that fight and traveling. Shaun pulls around at one of the gas stations. “Where are we going?”
“You’re hungry so I thought that I’d grab some lunch and treat you while I’m at it.”
“Shaun! You don’t have too, you came to get me, and you brought me these amazing flowers that I really love you don’t have to take me for lunch.”
“I want to take you to lunch.”
“But you don’t have too, I can eat home.”
“Raine? Did it ever actually occur to you that I might be hungry too?”
“No…”
“Raine! Jesus girl I know you’re in the right gender when you getting that lose to driving a guy crazy.” I puff my chest out and preen a little...
“Thank you thank you I get another 14 guys to get their blood pressure to where yours is at and I’ll gain a level of experience.”
“Oh really? I didn’t know you could play Trans characters in Munchkin.” He laughs at me with his little joke. Okay I’m laughing too because that was a little bit funny. Doing stuff like this with Shaun tells me even though I’ve/we’ve changed we are still friends. I love that fact and it makes me feel so much more strongly for him. I feel it starting in my girls and this warm care for feeling like…It’s like the estrogens in my blood are soaking up the good feelings and carrying them through my body.

Does that happen to anyone else?

Shaun…Sigh…my sweet Shaun, where does he take me? To my favorite place in the world. A&W. We pull in and the girl…SHE…come’s out on the old fashioned roller-skates her hair a long brown done into pig-tails and SHE’s got these freckles and looks just like one of the serving girls that used to work here back when I was a little kid. I don’t know why SHE’s here it’s like she likes to hang around me every once in awhile.

Or cook me breakfast.

Or wait on my order.

THE Goddess is weird.

We get our food with Shaun ordering the Papa burger and an extra large helping of onion rings for the both of us. I get a mama burger and gravy fries with cheese. We both get large root beer floats. SHE touches my injured arm as SHE hooks the tray to my window and the pain just goes away…I feel better, healed. SHE winks at me an mouths. “I’m so proud of you,”

I’m a happy, happy girl. I did good, I see the kids in my minds eye and they’re happy and with their parents and safe, oh that the light they’re safe. And my arm doesn’t hurt and Most importantly of all I have my root beer float. I love A&W, I do, I do.

We listen to our tunes we used to cruise around town to back in my estrogen challenged days. I dance in my seat as I eat and can’t get the smile off of my face. I’m having a great time.

Shaun drives me home and grabs my things, my pack and stuff were with me in the accident plus my bra is in there. I carry my flowers still smelling them. It’s so nice not having to pretend. “Just let me get these into some water Shaun.” I get a vase mom has around and wash the dust off of it. Damn…No Genie, or Jeanie, or Djinnie? Oh well can’t blame a girl for trying right? I turn to ask Shaun. “Hey do you want a chocolate…” He’s right there and he’s kissing me.

Oh, oh yum…I love it, I want to be like taking it slowly but It’s Shaun, I’ve known him already for so long that this is so much better for that. He’s my best friend, he’s, he’s oh, oh, oh…His hands are on my boobies, yes I said that my brain just shrank with the yayness. Oh, ooooh that feels so good. Guys you can’t justify or even imagine what it’s like having your boobies held and rubbed in the right way the most perfect way. My old me part is really awake now. It’s pressing against my girls jeans. It’s embarrassing, I look down… “Oh, Shaun I’m sorry it’s…” He kisses me again to shut me up and then…FUCK…He takes those farm strong hands and right at the v-neck of my t-shirt he rips the fabric open like he’s Hulk Hogan and exposes me and takes a nipple in my mouth right then.

Nothing has ever felt this good, ever…There’s tears in my eyes as I’m swamped with my selves. My Spaniard has dreamed all her life for a man to ravage her. My slave self is freaked from that too familiar tearing of cloth sound but confused by how tender Shaun’s being. My emo girl was a hooker and can remember sexy like this. There are guys that weren’t all assholes, and she can tell my Shaun is special.

My Shaun, oh my Shaun… “Oh Shaun.” I repeat over and over again. I’ve never felt so good in my lives. I swear WE started calling out his name.

Then he kisses down my stomach, he nuzzles my belly button, he kisses it then unbuttons my jeans, he pulls down my panties and I’m freaking a little, he’s going to see the worst part of me, the part that’s not a girl and is so not acting like one…He takes my…into his mouth and he swirls his tongue around me. He sucks on me and…I cry out as it feels…It feels fucking amazing. I’ve felt this, but no other part of me has. My Spaniard was a virgin, my emo hooker is amused she’s been serviced by guys before but she is intrigued by the fact. My slave girl is so blown away, so relishing this, that she is getting her dick sucked by a white guy on his knees in front of her…There’s a bit, no a lot of anger there and it’s suck a turn on that the roles are reversed and I’m/she/we are getting this done.

I can’t keep my fingers out of his hair, I can’t stop myself from starting to pump my hips. Shaun’s left hand slides up to play with one of my breasts, cupping it, squeezing lightly. His other hand slides a finger into my little rosebud and he doesn’t finger me he…he…feels around and finds my boy button and he…he…rubs just that and there’s pressure…My brain begins to bubble and boil…I cry out his name and the hand on my breast just slightly pinches my nipple then I CUM…Yes caps…I lose my minds and I have never, ever, EVER had a sexual experience like this…We are Sobbing with the strength the power of it.

My knees slowly give out and he picks me up and carries me to my room and my bed and he lies down with me. That, being carried like I’m still the girl means a huge amount to me emotionally.

He kisses me once we’re lying down. He uses his tongue and he gives me a snowball. I’m dazed, I’m confused. But it feels so good to be held, and kissed. Shaun doesn’t kiss me like I’m a guy. He strokes and pets my breasts, he kisses them. He’s really hard and I suck him until he cums too. It’s really different for me this time. The last time I did it it was just kind of so-so. My Spaniard is kind of disgusted and had never heard of such a thing and the other two are experience cocksuckers. But this is different, so different because I really want this. I want to not just return the favor but as an act of love for my best friend.
And being flooded with estrogens I think makes a strong difference.

We kiss and even nap until about 2:30 in the afternoon. Shaun kisses me. “Do you want to go out to supper before we go out to the show?” I think about it and I am so kind of messed up about what I’m feeling. “Yeah, That’d be nice…are we going to the early show or the late show?” He kisses me and I can taste us some more. “How about the late show? It’ll give us time for a nice supper.” I nod, he kisses me again. He leaves but I did notice the worried look in his eyes.

I’m a girl right?, I’m in transition sure but I’m a girl, so did Shaun and I just have gay boy sex? I curl around the pillows and start to cry an little. SHE forms behind me and SHE’s in HER trans-girl self and she wraps her arms around me and holds me.

Evanescence 9

Chapter 9

I’m not sure how long I laid there just flipped out at what happened between me and Shaun. I mean it was awesome; it was great and messed up and weird with things bouncing around my head all at the same time. I mean this was Shaun who was my best friend and yeah I was really starting to like him as a girl would.

He just gave me a blow job.
It was a great blowjob.
But…WTF!!?

This is so messed up that it really hurts my head. THE Goddess is holding me, and is spooned against me in her Trans girl form. It’s really comforting to be held by her, it’s like she’s soothing all those other me’s that there are inside me all at the same time.
“Why did Shaun do that?”
“I think he likes you.”
“I know but he’s like a guy, I wanted him to like me as a girl.”
“Oh I think he likes you as a girl.”
“But he...he...”
“Gave you a blow job?”
“Yes!”
“Did you like it?”
“Yes...”
“That bothers you doesn’t it?”
“Yes because I feel like I’m a girl, I know I’m supposed to be that girl I feel like but Shaun sucking me like that…that was the old me, that was a boy thing.”
“It could have been.”
“It could have been what?”
“Raine it just could have been exactly what it was.”
“YOU’RE NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING! STOP BEING SO EFFING VAGUE!”
“Alright.”
“Alright what?”
SHE laughs at me, or rather behind me. Bitch…
Yeah, that just made HER giggle, effing mind reading… (Insert expletive.)
“Are YOU done?”
“Yes…look Raine; it just could have been a trans-girl getting a blowjob from her boyfriend. It doesn’t make her any more of a boy. She’s still a girl, a woman on the inside. I’m with all of you, from Miss America to the Meth-head hooker to the trans-girl who just had her first boyfriend give her head…even the trans-woman gals who’ll never pass or can’t pass and love their spouses as closet lesbians…if they have the heart and soul of a woman that’s all that matters. It’s all that ever matters.”
“Oh…”
“Get some sleep Raine; take a nap you’ve still got your date tonight with Shaun.”
“Okay…”
***
It’s raining out and I’m afraid.

We’ve been hearing the whoosh of American fighters and bombers all day as the war was coming to us again.

The Vietcong are my people but in nation only. Mostly these people are gathered by those who want power unto themselves. These Northern foreigners, these Russians and there is word of even the Chinese being the ones to bring this peoples army. I do not know what this communism is, or what it has to do with supplying arms to me who do not deserve to be in power of any kind.

They hide in my village and talk up our young people filling their heads full of false glory and sometimes, many times they take what they wish including us girls.

They mostly leave me alone because I am so ugly, I have scars on me from the poppy farms and a bad machete scar from when I fought one of the overseers when he would have taken me.

This is when SHE came to me.
SHE came to me and I lived.

I lived to walk half dead from the poppy fields to where the huts for my village healer lay three days on foot. He says I have Mana, that my spirit is unbreakable.

I truly wish this was the case.

Some of these freedom fighters are evil men, they do evil things. I offer myself to be taken and used instead of the younger girls from my village. They hurt me more than rape me, my scars are considered unlucky, offensive.

They hide here amongst those who have done nothing wrong. They dress like us. The Americans do not speak Vietnamese often or well. Often our headmen are forced to lie to them because of guns pointed at their families. Often these threats are made to various villagers often to get our young boys to start the shooting if they survive then they have killed and they are told the resistance is the only safe place for them. There are too many child soldiers…They made our boys shoot.

The Americans defend themselves but don’t know the full truth of it and they lose real comrades in arms as our dying children distract them to be shot by the Vietcong guerrillas.

The Americans lose people but lose tempers too and still are forced to pull out from our village. The Vietcong just know it too well.

I do not justify this horrible war here. Both sides are committing horrible acts of evil for what? I will never know. Politics, land?, drugs?...perhaps…but I have seen to red reflection of something demonic in the eyes of the Vietcong and the Americans, in the eyes of the worst of them…it’s not like the red from a camera flash either…I don’t know how I know but I just do…it’s not reflected this is from within.
I hear the whistle and scream of the bombs falling now all around us with the Americans taking out the suddenly violently pro-Vietcong stronghold… red eyes inside a radioman.

We all end up looking up to see our dooms coming down on us. It hits and everything, everything explodes and goes up in flames and its death and screaming and even as time slows for you just before death I see them…there is five of them and while the rest of us are dying and screaming the five with the red from the inside eyes look like they are praying…smiling, even as the napalm ignites the very air around us and we burn I see them, and the flames rolling off their still standing, still burning corpses have shapes.

Horns.
Hooves.
Tails.
Claws.
Wings.

Then death finds me and stands by me until SHE comes for me.
My Name, our Name was Ko.

***
I roll off of my bed and I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe all I smell is grease and tar, no turpentine, no Napalm…napalm and this smell of burning meat, like some body was letting pork burn only is the pig had chicken skin…and the smell of burnt hair…I smell myself being burned alive and I smell burning human…I smell me burning.

I thrash on the floor my mouth and lungs locked in what is this seizure as I’m in two places at once. I break free…my lungs aren’t burned, my insides aren’t burned, I still have my eyes, they didn’t boil out of my sockets…I try and try and try…I reach out to the other versions of ourself and they pull us free of that death.

My scream is long and loud and tortured and I grab my tissue basket and use it for a puke bucket as I curl around it and go into the fetal position and bawl my eyes out and swear in perfect Vietnamese.

I’m like that for an hour before it’s our otherselves that yell, order and push us up to get cleaned up. I wet myself this time.

Getting cleaned up is another burst of the surreal. My scars are gone. It is so strange to look like a westerner woman. It is even stranger when I discover my sex. This pulls me more back into the now.

But I was Ko once, A Vietnamese young woman who had just been a poor farm girl who had been forced to work the poppy fields for opium, so heroin could be made. I had lots of bamboo scars from beatings and I had a machete scar that ran down my face from my right temple through to my left shoulder.

Memories flood me as I shower, like my slave self the soap, the shampoo and conditioner and the hot water feels like miracles to me.

I know how to speak and write Vietnamese, I know even more herb lore and stuff but oriental stuff from the my villages healer. I know lots about cooking, I know that it wasn’t just mankind pushing the atrocities in the Vietnam War…I seen them. I died but I seen them. And I know in my heart these were and aren’t the only wars and horribly things that they’ve made come about. The amount of suffering these things have instigated was just…is just staggering.

I can’t, I won’t just sit idly by anymore.

I’m done blow drying my hair which a lot of us love…Ko, Antonia, Joanna for us these things these treasures that we forget about, that are everyday things. It makes want to do something about that kind of thing too.

I have an internal argument with myselves as I get ready. I have several women living in my head as part of my mind and they have no problem sharing our opinions with myselves.

Are you feeling boggled and headachy from my devastation of personal pronouns, me too. It’s such a schizophrenic feeling having all of them each with their lives and experiences in me and yet each one of them is me. And of course we’re girls so we’re all talking at once.

You see why I’m a transgendered person? Any bit of manliness has run off screaming into the ether in the wake of my ever growing hen party.

I take an hour to sit on my bed and to meditate. In for a count of seven, hold for a count of seven, out for a count of seven. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth over and over each inhale I draw in power, free energy let it mix and stir my own like a current keeping a pool clean and clear.

It calms all of me down and they sink back into the background of myself and I finally feel better, I feel like Raine.

Somehow I’m actually ready on time. I don’t get too fancy with things either simple brushed out hair not really styled just little bare hints of eyeliner and a skiff of mascara wipe clean most so you can just say there’s something of the brush. A little earthy, pink skin toned lip pencil and paint and that’s it.

It’s kind of chilly tonight so it’s these knit looking leggings/stockings with a wide strapped denim dress and I wear this thing I made out of several old cast offs from the thrift store and that’s a slip but a flannel one like you’d see in a plaid shirt I cut it just like one of my camisoles but it’s really soft and warm and really girl next door.

Okay, I think it is. I like making my own clothes, several of me grew up sewing and doing just that. Part of me balks at the price for designer stuff I can make, will make.

I’m just getting my leather jacket when Shaun comes up to the door and knocks. He’s got more flowers for me. More stuff his mom grows but no charms on these ones. He knows I like my daisies though. I put these ones in water and on the kitchen table and move the first one’s the charmed ones into my room and on my night stand.
“Thank you for the flowers Shaun they’re sweet, I love daisies.”
“You always did, even back then.”
“Yep I was a chic even before I knew I was a chic.”
“So how come you can call yourself a chic and I can’t use that word.”
“Oh, that’s simple. It’s because I’m a chic.”

He gives me that guy patented that doesn’t make sense look that looks so cute in its own way. I lost him in woman logic; I’ve never really gotten that huh…? Look from talking or fighting to/with girls.

You want to get that look. Take a bunch or even just one guy and sit then down and make them watch The View. You’ll see it form in 3-10 minutes; some guys’ even look in pain. They might actually be too. I like that show, except for Elizabeth…right winged…you know what she is the cloned lesbian secret love child of Barbie and Ann Kolter.

Anyways…If I talk about either of them I’ll start thinking up curses and stuff.

Shaun leads me to his car escorting me with his hand touching the small of my back the whole time. He opens my door and makes sure the dress of my skirt doesn’t get caught the whole thing.

We got to dinner first and it’s not a fast food place either. He takes me to Holbrook’s which is like a nice place but not overly nice. You come in and get your own seat; there are places for you coats but no coat check. It’s kind of run of the mill but on the nice side of it, Shaun orders us up two of the prime rib specials and we get baked potatoes and green beans and a peppercorn gravy on the side? I’ve only usually done the horseradish thing but this Steak o Poivre thing is really good. We eat and even have sparkling cider to go with our food. I have a good time. I could get used to this too.

Shaun getting up when I go to the ladies room and when I come back too. Getting seated takes me some getting used to. Antonia…She was raised in such a way. I’m still enjoying that he’s doing it. Even paying for everything was really nice.

We actually went to see “The Disposables, that Stallone and other big actor trashy shoot en up thing. Shaun’s pleasantly surprised I want to see it. One I might be a trans-girl but my tastes in things haven’t gone away. I still play role-playing games, I have an X-box 360, I have a game cube because I love Metroid, and Zelda. I buy Manga books and fantasy and romantic fiction and fantasy books and all that geeky stuff. And two I’m not paying if it sucks I still got free snacks and popcorn. Besides it’s a better date if Shaun gets to see something he wants to see.

I’m getting checked out while I’m there by some guys and some of the other girls there because they don’t know me and even I’ll admit it. I pass, I do more than pass I’m all kinds of fine and that’s got to be part of this whole Evanescence thing.

Some of the guys look jealous that I want to go see the action movie. It seems I started something and a few others join us or copy us more that the ones who’d go see it anyway. I eat popcorn, drink just a little and I watch the movie. It was kinda blah, all those good action stars made it too much of a good thing. It didn’t suck but it would have made a good DVD rental to me rather than shell out theatre prices for that kind of show.

Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood was worth seeing in the theatre.

The majority of the girls talked all through the movie. I hate that, I hate that and I’ll never be that date.

After we end up going to the Dairy Queen like a lot of the other kids my age and Shaun’s age and we go in and see a lot of the kids from class. A couple of the girls see him and they perk up and wave.
“Hey Shaun…”
They see me with him and him holding the door open for me.
I kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks Shaun, A girl could get used to this.’
“I’ll definitely try to make in a habit Raine.” He kisses me lightly on the lips, then we make our way to the counter.
As we pass I hear them clucking amongst themselves, stuff like “Who’s that bitch?” and “Raine, she kinda of looks…” I guess it took maybe 3 minutes for them to get a clue. The place gets quiet. Then a buzz of whispers.
“That’s him…”
“No way, she couldn’t have been a dude.”
“Freak…”
“Faggot…”

And it went on and on.
It was getting under Shaun’s skin a little.
I was getting under theirs, a lot.
I sat and ate my triple hot fudge sundae and sucked slowly on my spoon. I watched two of my ex-girlfriends watching me with hate in their eyes. Kate the third on I had gone out with came over to me.
“Raine?”
“Hey Kate.” I stood and gave her a hug, she sort of returned it.
“Oh…wow, I guess the rumors were true…you are like gay and everything.”
“Nope, I like guys. If I was gay I’d be hitting on you.”
“Uhm…but you were born a boy?”
“Yeah, and some people get born with extra toes or other stuff they get fixed.”
“But your sex isn’t something you can fix, not really..”
“Not like genetics and stuff but the rest, yeah I was already a girl anyway in my brain and my soul and stuff.”
“Oh…But what about the bible?”
“It doesn’t really apply to me.”
“But it applies to everyone.”
“Nope, there’s tons of other religions out there.”
“So you don’t believe in god?”
“Oh yeah, I really believe in him I just don’t believe in the versions that humanity has put forth.”
“Uhm, Why?”
“People Kate, people suck and they did back then too. People wrote it, people changed it and 1/3rd of it is pretty much useless garbage.”
I can see I’m pissing off some of the churchy types, I can recognize the burn the witch look really good now a days.

I get ready to go and Shaun’s helping me with my jacket of when I see a girl I’ve never seen come in…they’re drop dead beautiful with alabaster skin and shining blonde hair that…it’s really pretty, she’s pretty, huge blue eyes, a sundress under a buckskin jacket…Every guy…actually most of us are getting hot…she’s up at the counter fishing through and counting this tiny handful of change.

Then her aura or something hits me. Darkness, I smell blood, lots and lots of blood, dead flowers…? I take a look at her…I recognize her… Joanna does, my slave south…Miss Alicia…I know it’s her…and she’s pulling the same act as she did then.

Helpless Damsel.

I go to the counter beside her. I flare my power so she can really feel me. I speak in French to her but the French Antonia had learned from her tutors. “You keep this quiet Alicia, No killing them, no turning them and we’ll get along fine. You pull a Birmingham and I’ll have a new scarecrow.”

I leave before things turn violent or potentially violent.
Fucking Vampires.

Evanescence 10

Chapter 10

Well shit…shit, shit, shit.
I just ran into a friggin Vampire, a real frigging vampire, in my hometown and in Dairy Queen? Of all places.
I knew here or rather Joanna-me did. Alecia…petite and cute and blonde and just as lovely as and angel ordering an extra rare burger. I’m sure she was part of a massacre that killed hundreds in a “Riot” in Birmingham.
I’ve seen her slice men open with her claws, I’ve seen her kill and I know she’s one dangerous bitch.
Okay right now there’s not a whole lot I can do with Shaun here and I’ve got to talk to Agnes and see what she knows and start getting prepared. I tangled with that thing that was going to hurt the little girl and I’m still paying for that.
Maybe I could find that FBI chick. She had to have seen the demon in that guy then.

“You’re quiet.” Shaun mentions as he’s driving me home.
“Yeah, I’m sorry it was just that crowd there and everything.”
“You looked like you knew the blonde.”
“Sort of, kind of knew her like years ago.”
“Oh, didn’t go well? You’ve been quiet since you talked to her.”
“Yeah, she’s not a real nice person. Its uhm…kind of personal” I hate not being able to lie. Yeah, I can’t actually tell a real untruth anymore. When you use the power it has karmic consequences.
We’re still quiet as Shaun pulls up at the trailer. I get out on my own and head inside. Shaun gets out and follows me up the steps. “Raine, did I do anything wrong?”
“No, oh no Shaun just it was what I said.”
“You sure you seem upset?”
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s just she’s bad news okay?”
“Uhm…okay?”
“You want to come in?”
“You sure?”

Oh yeah I’m sure, the last thing I really want Shaun to do is to be cruising around town tonight with her out there not until I’ve got him protected. I’ve got to have a cross on a necklace here somewhere in my jewelry box.

Yes crosses do work; they are arcane items that draw from the built up mana that builds up in the faith of the religion. It creates a very nasty feedback field versus negative planar beings.

See there used to be magi in most of the church faiths, not many but a few the most notable being the Zorarosterian and Coptic branches of the Catholic and Christian faiths. These guys didn’t like sharing power especially with Women a hold over from sections of the Rome, it the Roman Catholic hence the whole. “Thou shall not suffer a witch to live.” Bit. Prayer in most cases is unfocused ritual majiks. But there are those with the power that hide in the auspices of temples all over the world.

Yup, I’ve been studying.

I smile at Shaun. “Yeah, I’m really a bit of a homebody these days anyway it just makes me feel safer to be here you never know what’s out there right?”
“Yeah I don’t blame you especially after tonight; we made quite the splash of you uhm, coming out. There’s no telling what some of the chuckleheads might think to do even if your mom’s a cop.”

Well I wasn’t thinking of the things some of the normal people might do. I just hope she doesn’t’t decide to wash down here burger with some recently graduated teens.
That they didn’t deserve.

I lead Shaun inside and lock our door as I do I push Mana into the space around the door and the frame pushing it into the intention of the door being closed it’s solid, into a locked door baring the way like it should. My power flowing into the space between like mystical caulking binding it shut.

I lead Shaun down the hall to the living room. “You want something to drink?” I ask him.
“What’re you having?”
“Coco, I was thinking.”
“Sounds good.”

I make us a pot of it on the stove, I use water to mix the sugar and cocoa first and then add it to a small soup pot on top of the stove and then I add in carnation canned milk and then whisk it all together. It’s probably closer to hot chocolate but its how my mom makes it a little heavy on the cocoa and light on the sugar but kind of creamy from the canned milk.

Shaun’s flipping through the TV channels until we end up watching Dr. Who with the skinny new guy on it. I’m not so sure I like him as much as the last guy but I don’t really follow the series much. But I liked the Torchwood crossover. Jack is kind of hot and sexy.
We watch a few things and we kind of end up dozing together on the couch.

It feels nice to be spooned and held with Shaun’s arms around me and just watching TV and junk. I like this, I like the way this makes me feel as a girl and as a woman. Safe, safe from all that pressure of being the Evanescence.

It was even nicer waking when I feel Mom’s presence at the door her mana reacting to my shield on the door. I pop it and let her in, she doesn’t notice it at all and I refocus my energies and reseal the door.

Mom comes into the kitchen and does a big inhale and a smile and takes down a mug and pours herself a coco. “I thought you two were going out?”
“We did, we just thought it’d be better just hanging out here than just cruising around.”
“I’m sure.” She says giving me this slight smile like we were up to something.
“No…we, have been…it’s just cuddling, watching TV.”
I case anyone was wondering Shaun took this opportunity to let out a bit of a snore.
“I believe you.” There’s this smile on her face that is kindly and warm. I smile back and slip out of his arms. I immediately feel the loss?
Who knew that being held really felt that good?
It was never that way before, when I had been boy-me and did this with the few girlfriends I had, even when I was with the few guys I was with did it feel like this. So does me being a girl make all the difference?

SHE’s in the big round chair in the corner of the living room and gives me that double finger pistol thing and grins. ~Bingo, kiddo. ~

I give her the woman patented we need to talk look and I take a blanket off the foot of the couch and cover Shaun up with it, I lightly kiss his lips then his forehead. I take his keys off of the coffee table. Mom gives me this look as I put the cups of cocoa in the sink.
“What?”
“It’s just sometimes Raine I’ve had some doubts with this whole transgendered thing you’re going through and then I see you do something like that. And I see the daughter that I’ve never really gotten to know.”
“Mom its okay it was as much a mystery to me all those years too, I had no Idea why nothing in my life fit me.”
“I know that but you’re going to go through so much and I can’t help but think this changed be easier if I had seen this sooner.”
“Mom it is the right time for this. Dad was an ass about the whole thing and as much as it fucking hurts, what he did it…this didn’t saddle you with a messed up teenager or younger. At least this way there’s no BS with school and I’m making my own money.”
She sighs, then hugs me.
“Raine, as much as I don’t get being in the wrong body honey, I’ve really grown to love my daughter. We’ve never been this close before…I haven’t felt like this since you were like seven.”
“Mom, we didn’t miss all of it. We used to fight like cats and dogs when I was just a teenager and isn’t that what happens with mothers and daughters?” I hug her some more. “Just let Shaun sleep on the couch, I’m not too keen on him driving home half asleep.”
“See that’s just what I’m talking about honey, no boy would talk like that, or even think it.”
“Yeah, I guess I really never was one.” One more hug then I head to my room and get ready for bed slipping into the bathroom. Mom has her own bathroom; we opted for that instead of the extra bedroom.
SHE is there sitting on the toilet. Tonight SHE’s dressed exactly like the vamp. “Can I guess what you want to talk to me about?”
“Good guess, so what do I do about it, her, it?”
“That’s a good question. I’m not sure.”
“You’re the Goddess, how can you not be sure.”
“I don’t get the sense of roiling darkness coming from anything in town. She might be skilled enough to shield herself but her acts would leave a stain on the weave.”
“So she hasn’t done anything horribly evil yet.”
“Yes, yet and we don’t know how old she is or who is her sire and all of those things.”
“Yeah, I’m going to need some Vampire 101 from you.”
“I can tell you what I know.”
“You don’t got all the 411 on these things?”
“Not even close, once they embrace undeath they cease any connection to me.”
“Alright shoot.”
“Okay, to get a grasp on them you have to know where they came from.”
“I’m ready.”

“The Vampires first showed up in the ageless time at the dark time when the Old Ones held dominion over all things. The Old Ones and their kind came forth out of the primordial darkness that was that was before light was kindled into this universe. They and those like the are the very essence of all negative forces in the whole of creation. One of these is what we call The Beast.”

“The Beast is the incarnation of a confluence of things, ravenous hunger, and predation in the unnatural sense of it, gluttony, lust and addictions black euphoria as well as the darkness and undeath from which it sprang.”

“It was one of the lurking terrors then, and as life began to grow it began to feed like the others and when the great battles were fought ages later once we were forged from the need of both the light and the life of everything around us. The Beast like the others was sealed away behind a great wall between all dimensions. But nothing is absolute. I this war the various Old Ones had formed their own minions and thus became many of the dark being we know of to this day. The very first Vampires were made by The Beast, given vast powers by giving to The Beast their souls. Most but not all of them were destroyed but those that remained had found within their own creation the means to propagate their own evil natures.”

“Vampires are all innate majik using beings but they cannot posses any mana, they cannot even hold it inside of them. The do not even have but the barest spark of essence left and what remains of that is bound to the undeathly energies of The Beast. They must feed off of essence completely and can only really live off the essence of living things. This is best done by blood, like that done through sacrifices. They burn through essence to keep alive and thus are supernatural predators, all the feats the do burns on their fuel limiting them in just what they can do. But, they can be very powerful…See the Beast like many of its ilk saw the end coming and in such it has engineered its own escape.”

“Every Vampire that has a creator is bound by a bit of it’s essence in it. The next one in the next generation, links to the next one and so on. This imparts a link or even a semi sort of hive mind and every time a Vampire feeds a little bit is kicked back up the food chain as it were. Old Vampires can have huge stores of essence depending on how much they feed themselves.”

I peel out of my clothes and slip into the shower. “So every single feed makes The Beast stronger?”
“Yes and its minions.”
“Lovely, then Alecia being at least two hundred years old is quite powerful and she’s likely going to have a few of her children around her as well.”
“Perhaps, it depends on her clan and her sire. While Royal or the first generation Vampires are loyal to The Beats and its designs, each generation since that is not carrying the same darkness as they do have some measure of free will. Some clans though mostly in other parts of the old world worship The Beast and there is much more traffic of energies through the links making those lines far more powerful in general.”
“Dracula.”
“Well Vlad the Impaler was actually a rogue Vampire who went insane after he had killed his sire in a fit of jealousy, She was his wife and had turned him and then the castle household and then they raided the countryside until she cheated on him with her sire I believe and he went on his rampage after killing them both and that was too huge to cover up so the facts were blurred with the popular stories.”
“Okay…”
“I’ll give you a few minutes to run through that.”

SHE leaves and I finish my shower.

I love taking a shower. I almost slip into this whole communion thing with myself. It’s a novelty for everyone but my Goth hooker self. I love the feel, the massage of it the steam and the heat. I love the way it feels to feel water flow and cascade about and over my sensitive breasts. I’ve gotten myself “off” from being really soapy and really sensitive. But it’s not just that, it’s how soft my skin is getting, it’s feeling more bottom curve, and it’s the wet weight of my hair down my back. I even love all the ritual that goes with it. Drying off with patting dry instead of rubbing, checking for unwanted and unruly hairs to get rid of…I could make a fortune or at least a good living just doing that. A burst of mana into the skin and just a tweak to the follicles and the unwanted body hair falls away painlessly. Yes. I’m cheating or I guess it’s cheating; I keep my skin clean and clear in the same way. I’ve gotten to doing these things as a matter of course.

I slip into my old oversized G&R (Guns and Roses, rock band.) T- Shirt and head into my room. SHE’s there looking 15 and in a my little pony baby T and pink panties. I look at her before I sit in front of my vanity and start to brush my hair. “Is it wrong I’m using the power to make myself prettier?”
“It’s not making you prettier Raine, you’re just able to do things some people need other things to do it with. You use Mana to do all these things, it’s your own power doing this so it’s not like you’re not doing the work for it.”
“I am?”
“Yes plus even if it’s trivial stuff it’s practice.”
“But I thought that Wiccas were all hairy armpit, PETA loving, granola munchers.”
“Some are and some are full on bloody steak metal queens. Besides, when did you become Wiccan?”
“I thought because I’m the Evanescence that I was Wiccan.”
“Humph, Raine you’re no more Wiccan than I am.”
“WTF?!?”
“I AM THE GODDESS…; I have thousands of names and at the same time none at all. There’s only a small percentage of people of any given faith, or circle or coven or gathering that really gets that. It’s just like there are different parts of you that are of different faiths and majikal traditions.”
“But I thought that you were part of the Whole Evanescence thing?”
“I am.”
There’s a golden light around her and I’m seeing for a moment Mary…mother of Jesus, wife of Joseph, shining before me…Then Mary Magdalene …
My Spaniard freaks and almost has me dropping a knee, my slave has a different view of these Loa women.
It takes me a few moments to find my voice. “You are, You were…?”
“I was both women in that set of religions, but they were their own women too.”
I said something as smart as “Huh?”
“It’s simple Raine. I am the deity if you want to use that word, I am every woman, I am just a woman.”
“There’s no such thing as just a woman.”
“Yes, there is and they surround us everyday and are my favorite kind of me there is.”
“Everyone woman is special and beautiful and amazing.”
“Raine that feminist semantics in a bad way, you can argue that everything in all of creation is special and beautiful and it’s as true as much as it doesn’t mean a damn thing. I’m talking about the simple joy of being a woman, none of the extras from society or anything…else, just to stop and just be woman without ever any other thought or pressure.”
She touches me and I’m gone in a white flash and I’m In a Hijab, my breasts are full, I’m in a walled garden, my basket is full of chickpeas and my baby is cradled in one arm as they’re nursing and my other children are playing as my husband is grinding some of our grains into flour…the smell is heady when it drifts over mixing with the smells of the garden…I’m not thinking about anything at all, I’m just content just being whoever I am, she is.
And then I’m me and the feeling of being me is almost bereaving. I’m not her, I’m not a woman like her and…and…I start to cry hard. That sense of peace was just…
“Why?!, why’d you show me that!”
“So you’d know.”
“Know what? That I’m not a real woman and as much as you’re touting being just a woman it’s something, something I’m never going to have!”
I Slap THE GODDESS in the face.
I hit her hard.
Hitting a girl, a woman…just like my dad.
I barely manage to grab the waste paper basket before hurling.
SHE rubs my back and holds my hair.
Once I’m done SHE holds my face in her hands and I look into those eyes, the eyes of women every where and when. “Raine, I promise you, I promise you this; the same as every woman no matter what kind they might be. You have the gift of free will and If you want it bad enough, fight for it hard enough, love enough I promise this is a feeling that all women can share.”
“But I’m not a real woman.”
“You are, as is every single t-girl no matter what they look like or have to live. You know there are balances even to that hurt, to that obstacle.”
“Yeah, I can pee standing up. Effing yay.”

“No silly girl, its heart. You girls are special to me because of your hearts. You treasure sometimes the smallest little thing that most genetic girls just ignore or squander. It’s a wonderful gift that they’ll never have. This whole completely different yet wholeheartedly female perspective of seeing the universe.”

“Really?”
“Yes really.”
“ ‘kay”

SHE helps me into bed and slides in with me, holds me and right now it’s all I want with the world. I should do something about the Vampire though.
“Shush, tomorrow has enough time to worry over her. It’s getting close to dawn; she’ll be heading to her coffin soon.”
“ ‘Kay.”
I cuddle into her and the pillows and drift off to sleep.

***
Alecia…

I don’t stay at Dairy Queen too long. Running into whoever she was really unnerved me. I get everything to go. I leave as quickly as I can and head for my car. One of the teen/twenty somethings saunters over and…I can smell him from here. Athlete muscled, tallish, cute and full of pheromones.
“Hey, beautiful where you going?”
“Work, and I’m late.”
“I’m Jim; I’ve never seen you around here before. I’d know.”
“You would, would you?”
“Uhm yeah I’m pretty sure me and you would’ve like already hooked up if we had.”
“Yeah okay whatever, I’m sorry Jim but I have to go.”
“You aren’t working, you dressed like that and it being this late.”
“Are you calling me a liar?” I turn and look at him pissed once I get to my cat door and start to fiddle with the lock. He mistakes it for the wrong kind of fear. I might…I might hurt him, kill him, drink that sweet, salty…better than a shake, oh he might have had a shake, he might have had bacon…all those flavours of what he just had flowing through those juicy young… he grabs me and spins me around.
“Yeah, you snooty stuck up cunt, I’m calling you a…”
I’m desperate and punch him hard enough to break a few ribs. He goes down and tears part of my dress away…”You…You fucking freak!” He’s rolling on the ground in the parking lot and more are coming out of Dairy Queen. Great my cover’s blown to shit and I don’t have a lot of time now to get home and pack…
“You fucking freak! you’re a dude like that fucking freak Raine ain’t you, I seen you two talking! Fucking faggot!”
Whoa…
That girl who knew me wasn’t a girl?
It all kind of shocks me out of my bloodlust and I hop into my Hyundai and take off and head to work.
I speed on the way there and get to The Shady Rest early…By that time the shakes have started and I’m having PTSD flashbacks. I wanted to kill him and feast so badly, I was jonesing so bad for some human red. Like an addict…and that brought stuff back from being captured. Staved until I wasn’t rational and tossed a methe head so wired he would be barely human anymore…the drugs so thick in his blood the effected me so much.
I cry laying acrossed the seats.
I freak out and scream in inhuman rage setting off the car alarms beside me.
That just tops the whole night.
More tears these of just plain frustration.
I get a hold of myself.
Hint for the new Vampire, we cry bloody tears. Invest in baby wipes.
I clean up before heading inside as I do I repeat my mantra over and over thinking of that kids blood and trying to revolt myself.
“You are what you eat.”
“You are what you eat.”
“You are what you eat.”
It takes a few more mantras before I’m sort of right in the head and the idea of drinking that idiot is kind of revolting now.
I grab my burger and take a bite out of it. And chew and chew…then smile as I talk around my third bite. “Moo.”

Evanescence 11

Chapter 11

“Easy Raine, slow your breathing, you’re thinking about everything too much. Circular breathing, in for a count of seven, hold for a count of seven, out for a count of seven. Breathe just breathe you have to feel that inside of you. It’s the stillness of being without thought. Breathe, breathe…”

Astrid droned on as I sat in the corner of her kitchen in her big round chair my eyes opened but only focused on the candle in the mason jar on the table. I’m working on learning some meditation. I need to get serious about everything. It’s been five days since my interview with the vampire and I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve got too many memories rattling around in there of what I know she can do.

Shaun got home alright, after that night he had spent the first night we ran into the vampire. We’ve been seeing each other every night since. It’s been mostly staying in and watching movies or even gaming with the guys. I still care about them a lot so I spells on crosses that I’ve bought them as gifts and stuff. Still we do go out but I go looking out for the vampire especially after dark. You know having multiple lives or remembering multiple lives is a pain in the ass. Try deciding what to wear or what to eat. I mean their not active all the time but…when they are.

You’d think I’d be in more of a mess or in better control but its like. They’re in the background until something rouses them. Like food, it’s a primal thing and affects all of us. And we all like different things. Don’t get me wrong there are benefits to this too. My Vietnamese, Spaniard, and Slave Self have a serious enthrallment with so many things they just didn’t have.

And Shaun’s just as awesome as ever. I think we’re getting serious; we make out and kiss a lot. My Spaniard is a saucy wench hot blooded and loves kissing games. My hooker self
Kind of knows a lot about kissing and making out as well. Shaun usually gets to second base, all the time. Getting more, and more serious has really been on my mind lately. I’m just not sure I can or want to go there. Sex is intense so what will I go through as my hooker self or my much abused slave self? Even my Spaniard for all her bluster and spicy ways was a virgin. Truth be told, I’m scared.

I don’t know I’m over reacting and stuff or not but I’ve been preparing things here, home, at Shaun’s place. I’ve been grinding up herbs like Solomon’s seal and making it into paint. Or mixing holy water in with honey and blood in baby food jars and leave them all over town…old lore says that vampires can’t resist honey and blood it’s old Russian folklore, just to be certain…I used holy water from a Slavic/Mennonite church. I use a broom made from flax and heather to sweep the areas but use Mana to leave a smear according to the spells I had read…it’s supposed to be a protection to burn the feet of the undead or demons and such. I put the garlic here or there, bury some of it. I paint the herbs on doorknobs and railings and fences and random places around town, the same with my sweeping. There’s a lot of lore to what we can do with a broom, in all the stuff I’ve ever read so far I’ve yet to find a way to make the thing fly.

“Raine, Raine! C’mon girl stop fooling around, you’re not centered and your power’s all over the place.”
She’s right, as hard as it is to pick where to bloody eat it’s so much harder to quiet your mind when you’ve this many people being a part of you. Now add in having a boyfriend and keeping a secret like this and worrying about friends and family with a way too quiet vampire/sociopath out there and not being able to find her...it…her.

Plus SHE and I are on the outs. SHE refuses to tell me where Alecia is. I believe her exact words were. “Do I look like I’m wearing a Google-Goddess tee shirt on?”
“But she’s evil; I’m here to stop stuff like her.”
“Are you?”
“Huh? Whaddayamean by that?”
“Just what I said.”
“Alicia’s evil and she’s dangerous and she’s been too damned quiet which means she might be spawning a nest of her own or something. What is she under you protection or something?”
“No I’m not able to do that for her.”
“For? What do YOU mean by for?”
“This is the United States of America, I’m pleading the fifth.”
“Dammit, I need your help with this!”
“No you don’t.”
“Fine then maybe I don’t need YOU at all then!!!”
“Fine!” she yelled back suddenly in the form of a teenager.
“Fine!” I screamed back.
Then she stormed out and slammed the door outside and by the time I had yanked it open she had gone. And it’s been five days since I’ve seen her. Yeah, learning to meditate is just not working at the moment.

I do a big inhale and do that blow my air out my bottom lip thing so it blows my hair out of my face. “Sorry Astrid, I guess I’m just not in the right frame of mind to work on it right now.” I get out of the chair and stretch, my back’s not used to sitting like that. Slave me is pissed we’re that soft and there’s quiet disappointment from the Vietnamese me/us that we can’t seem to grasp these things yet. It all kind of gives me a headache.
“Ah that’s all right Rainbow you can’t force these things, how about we do some other things to get your mind off of things.”

It was really nice to stop doing that and just to do some normal stuff. We get to work and we start making a mess of things. We’re making soaps out on a couple of hotplates out on her porch using nice smelling herbs and flowers and other stuff like animal fat and the like to make things like they really used to back in the old days. There’s a pot of liniment I’m making and spelling for her and a few other herbal cures.

Spelling things like that is called a lot of things. But the basis is this. Any herb or ingredient that has rumored or long known mystical properties gets invested with that exact potential by common belief. Now picked they are often dead and thus devoid of mama. When you spell these ingredients you fill or refill the mana of the ingredient in every cell of it and that changes it into a mystical component. That is the secret to every shaman, druid, witchdoctor and herbalist that creates these wonder medicines.

I sell my stuff and give it away and at least my stuff works. I’d love the chance to actually work with my stuff once I’m better at it with an open minded doctor, I think that’d be cool but then again most doctors don’t believe in or wouldn’t admit to majik being real.

It’s when you’re combining these things to do things that can only be described as majik like real potions and stuff is when you start getting into alchemy. From everything I’ve gathered that’s a whole other discipline of the use of power. Oh yeah there’s as many different ways of doing things with the power as there is in all the fiction of the world.

But that’s not all I can do with the power. If used right you can charge things up to bring out their best or even subtle qualities of foods. You bet your but I’m using it to cook. So everything I bake with a touch of power in it raises perfectly, tastes great like it really should and all that jazz. I make a peach jam that tastes juice sun-kissed and juicy. Yeah it can be seen as cheating but it’s also just majik. And there’s a trade off, I mean with all the negative stuff going on with what I’ve got going on there has to be some kind of balance. Plus there’s limits, you’re still only as good as you can cook/bake and you’re still limited by the quality of your ingredients.

It does the trick though; doing stuff like this really relaxes me. I get on the phone and call Shaun up. “Hey, handsome how you doing today?”
“Hey Raine, doing good just out helping dad pull up the potatoes today.”
“How’d they turn out?”
“Good actually we’ll have lots. So you’re over at Astrid’s?”
“How’d you know?”
“I’m psychic.”
“Mom told you?”
“Yeah I called and you said you’d be over there doing your Wicca stuff.”
“Yeah sort of.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too good what happened?”
“It’s this trying to meditate thing, it’s just not working.”
“Maybe you’re trying too hard? You seem to be stressing.”
“Yeah, It’s just I’ve got some things on my mind.”
“Like what? Raine…you know that you can talk to me about anything right?”
“Yeah but I’m okay…”
“Yuh-huh, you need a drive?”
“Yeah, I’ve got three boxes of stuff made up to take to the farmers market tomorrow.”
“You want a drive then too?”
“Please, I’d really appreciate it.”
“One condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You come over here after I pick you up, Jill’s home she said that she wants to meet the new and improved Raine.”
“Really! I’d love to see your sister again!”
“Yuh-huh you only had like a major crush on her all through school.”
“Yeah because she was cool and now that I actually know who I’m really supposed to be I think it was more like hero worship than being hot for her.”
“Okay, well you can fan-girl over her at supper tonight. I’ll be right over.”

Well he wasn’t too far off from the right over as he pulled up in his car still very much the typical guy. Shirt unbuttoned from working out in the garden and…oh yeah his shirt was unbuttoned…sigh, okay he might have lots of mud on him and dirt and stuff but Shaun’s got this really killer tan from all that time down south and he’s really worked and works hard so the skinny kind of gamer geek kind of shot up and broadened out into this really cute guy. He’s got lots of these hard rippling muscles and a six-pack of abs. I mean he’s no football player jock giant but tanned, hard bodied from hard farm work and just over six foot, just and about 190lbs of very solid guy. Blonde haired and blue eyed he’s really easy on the eyes…Mmmm, unbuttoned shirt.

Shaun pops his trunk and walks over with two peach baskets stuffed full of fresh right out of the garden potatoes and a whole bunch of carrots, beets and two turnips. “Hey babe.” he says as he kisses me with a quick peck and gives another one to Astrid. “We’re pulling a few things while we’re doing the potatoes so I thought I’d just save you a trip to the store Astrid.” Her face does that big beaming thing, I love about older people. Yeah seniors might have been through stuff and there’s a lot that can suck sometimes about getting older but the one thing that just gets better and better as anyone gets older is their smiles. It’s probably a good thirty or forty bucks worth of stuff and that makes a difference when you’re on a fixed income. It’s why I brew here with her, I always make free stuff for Astrid but I give her a cut of the money as well. “Oh why that you Shauney-boy you know there isn’t too many young men like you around here anymore.” She kisses him on the cheek and smiles at me. “You young lady best treat him good, he’s too good to let get away.”
“I know Astrid, oh I know. Shaun’s treated me better than I ever really though I might get out of my life since I started figuring things out.”
Shaun blushes just a little but enough that it just sets off those cute dimples of his. “Raine’s just getting things a bit out of place there Astrid. They’ve been my best friend for nearly all my life so when things turned out like this and my best friend shows back up into my life as this sweet, amazing and beautiful young woman how couldn’t I fall for her?”
I blush a little too.

But I walk right up into his arms and kiss him as soon as he’s set the food down. I really love Kissing him. Different parts of me love kissing him, and touching him. Just running my fingers over his arms and chest all tight under the skin with muscle runs this primal sense feed through the nerves in my hands through the rest of my body. My nipples get so, so damned hard they hurt, and there’s this ache in my breasts as I get so very quickly turned on by touching him, feeling him. There’s this ache deep inside of me I don’t know but all of the other parts of me recognizes as want, need to be filled…I’m…oh, his hands slide down my back and those strong arms are wrapping around me and his hands squeeze my bottom. The thrill zips up my spine and into my brain and I almost whine.

We break apart from kissing and we nuzzle a second. Shaun smiles at me and pecks my cheek and then starts to take my boxes of stuff out to the car and puts them in the trunk. I kiss Astrid and we drive through town out to his house. I’m really love him, I’m so turned on right now even Ko see’s him as something desirable and Joanna is feeling very different too…there is something that takes him to someone more real to that side of me,is me that is comforted on this deep level about his hard working scent, his sweat, the smell of soil of him. “Shaun?, you remember the old barn where we used to go to smoke joints at?”
“Yeah why?”
“Can we go there?”
“Sure…?”
We get there and pull in backwards. It’s an old barn in a stand of spruce wildly over grown and it has no doors on it. It’s a great place to hide out from getting see from the cops. Shaun looks at me. “So what are we going to light up…” I interrupt him with a kiss. We start necking and we start French kissing, Antonia is vibrating in me and Lindsey is bubbling up bringing all the hooker with her. Even like I said Ko who see’s just how good and respectful a man he is, respect especially the way he treats us, and thought of Astrid makes this feeling in her of Yes…more than anything Ko wants a good man. It’s more important than stuff like money or looks. Joanna is with me in the whole falling for him, he’s shown his worth more than a few times about us but this hard working smelling of the earth and hard work thing, it just broke the ice we, she, I have over the really bad sexual abuses I’ve suffered.

My hands work at unbuckling his jeans and Shaun grabs a sleeping bag from his back seat. “Not here Raine, not in the car…” He leads me out by my hand and I can’t help but cry because he’s moving some of the better hat around before setting out the sleeping bag…He’s…he wants this to be special…god how many guys would just want to just get some. He turns in just his boxer briefs and that faded open denim shirt. I kiss him hard and then his chin, I nibble a bit on the baby stubble he’s got there and I start to kiss down his chest. I can tastes salt, his salts on his skin and earth, not like he’s dirty but I can tasted the good earth on his skin…smell it and it goes straight to my girly brain and swirls around like a lover to each of me and all of me…us.
I sink to my knees and pull Shaun’s rapidly hardening cock free of his briefs. I’ve my own experiences but Shaun is different he’s long and thickening and veins ripple down it erotically and there’s as much wonder from the virginal parts of me as pleasure at knowing that Shaun’s actually got a beautiful specimen of manhood. I eagerly wrap my lips around it…and I can’t help but moan. There’s this switch of so much girl, woman within me and we all want the same thing and we so…I so know what to do with this. It drives my eyes to flutter and honestly they roll back in my head with pleasure a few times. I’ve never had, tasted any man like this. This isn’t just being a girl…this…this has to be something about being the Evanescence…it’s like all the women in my head, all the me’s are blending together and becoming me…even it I’m not complete it’s already the best sex I’ve ever had in my life…lives…

Shaun, I don’t have a clue as too what’s going through his head but he cries out my name and almost cracks his voice as my nose nuzzles his pubic bone. I’ve deep throated before and I haven’t and there is the feeling as he cries out my name like that and his fingers dig in through my hair not hard but hanging on….I move my throat, I use muscles and other whore’s tricks combined with Ko’s reverence to her man by her culture, My slave self comes out along with that wild voodoo woman and it mixes in with being a professional hooker and being a hot blooded yet virginal Spaniard mixes with myself being this new life of mine, This T-girl that I am now. There’s this point when I just am.

I am woman, I am Raine, I am the Evanescence…And as I’m hitting that point I’m draining Shaun while he’s crying, he’s sobbing my name as his explodes and I take it all in…I’m…not even me at this point, not the me that I know but the me that I am as I was born to be. It was that moment when you step right into who you were meant to be. Who you realize who you are and everything changes.

Shaun can’t stand anymore but as we lay down to make love on the sleeping bag I’m on top, the dominant one but not either. I was naked very quickly and soon he was inside me. I can feel him unable to flag because my essence is drawing his very maleness to his surface…Shaun has such power inside of him too, his essence is strong and so is his mana? The charms on his car…at his house…his mom’s not the wielder…Shaun is…That realization hits and it does sink in but it’s like gas to my fires of passion.

I roll over so he’s on top, and it’s good, it’s better than good. He might know but I have to… “Shaun…Shaun…look at me…” He looks down at me and I smile, we smile at him and I form a light mote in my hand in front of him. He’s staring at me, so blue so intense and…There’s a tear there running down a cheek. “Thank you Raine, thank you for trusting me…” he kisses me and our love making gets even more…just more as I feel his mana reaching into mine, but like he’s making love to my inner self as much as our bodies are and it’s not an invasion, it’s giving himself to me. And it’s me…it’s my woman’s soul taking his heart into mine and enfolding around him and saying he’s home. My little light mote meets one that slides out of his as our hands interlock by our fingers and melds with mine and they spin around and through each other like these little fireflies that make more fireflies that reproduce into more everytime that we experience a little frission of pleasure. It’s like they’re us and this little swarm of sun motes around us as we make love. Our power kind of spills out of us and the hay goes from old and dead to fresh cut and the sleeping bag and us start to float up a few inches into the air. Their’s ever this squawk from the car as the radio turns on suddenly and “Unchained Melody” start to play over the speakers…There has been nothing like this to anything any part of me has ever known.

I see The Goddess in Shaun’s eyes and right now that she is me…

Evanescence 12

Chapter 12

My eyelids flutter open and I inhale this wonderful combination of scent’s old straw, fresh hay, clover and the smell of sex. Shaun and I had just made love and I’ve never felt like thing in my life. It’s quiet inside of me for the first time in awhile, all of me satisfied. The layers that are me all happy for various reasons.

And of course just to be a girl, I’m actually a little freaked out. Shaun, My Shaun is a caster, a mage of somekind. I’m lying there being spooned and watching the sunlight starting to wane.

His fingers drift over my naked breasts and he’s touching me playfully. I bite my lower lip then ask.

“So how long?”

“How long what?”

“So how long have you been doing magic?”

“My powers quickened in me the night you tried to kill yourself, during the accident. I heard and we were actually at the hospital waiting when I started shorting things out. My mom knew what was going on once she saw me unintentionally make the pop machine start releasing free cans of pop. I was a danger to you and everyone else in the hospital so she got me out of there and sent to Grandpa to learn from him.”

“Him…Huh, I’m not too familiar with some of the male styles of magic Shaun just what is it that you do?”

“Artifice.”

“Artifice? I’m not really familiar with it.”

“It’s craft magic, it settles into the stuff for craftwork and the trades. I’m what Grandpa calls a lightning bug.”

“Lightning bug?”

“My magic has mostly to do with electricity and electrical devices.”

“But what is it? What does it come from?”

“It’s an Amalgym. It’s mostly enchanting, but you often if you’re like me you drawn on the elements, I’m strong in air and earth mama too, magnetics and metals have a lot to do with what I do. There’s some old traditions and stuff too but I’m not really that far along with my studies, not like you are.”

“I’m just starting too Shaun.” I roll over to stare at him questioningly.

“Really, you have a huge amount of power; I mean mana and essence too.”

“So just how do you know that?” I shield myself pretty good, if I give off too much of a signal them I’m really easy to find and that means a lot easier for the bad guys to kill me.

“Uhm…Raine I was literally plugged into you remember.”

“Oh…Yeah…” I can’t help but to blush, really, really red., Then Shaun kisses me. It’s one of those really nice romantic kind of kisses where the guy takes your head on this gentle hold and draws you into him for a kiss. It’s long and it’s slow and it’s that nice kiss that we girls dream about all the time, see in movies, read about.

We neck and stuff for awhile and after another half an hour of fooling around we break it off because his phone was vibrating. Shaun closed his eyes for a moment and I can feel his mama swirling into and through the phone? He nods to himself and I feel him do a sending? He sent mana, a spell out through his phone? He opens his eyes and looks at me. “That was mom, she was wondering where we were and if we were still coming to the house for supper.”

“Yeah, definitely….what did you just do?”

“I’m a lightning bug remember. My power works on electronics and related stuff. I can use it with my phone and a bunch of other things.”

“Artifice.”

“What?”

“You said it’s called Artifice, I’m not calling you a lightning bug.”

“Alright, C’mon lets get cleaned up.”

Shaun led me out back to a rain barrel where we sacrificed one of his tee shirts as washcloths and get cleaned up from our intimate moments. It’s not a bath but enough that I’m not feeling Ick when we get back into the car.

We drive to his house and they’re all still out in the field harvesting. Shaun and I take a quick shower and I change into a pair of his jeans and plan on reworking them by sending my power into the waft and weave of the cloth.

SHE is there looking through his closet but SHE’s the trans-girl her. “You know we try and be the women that we feel that we are inside but there’s this weird funny little thing that no matter how girly we are there’s something sexy, different about wearing the clothes of the guy that you’re with. You know I miss that when I’m a lesbian.”

“Hello, I haven’t seen YOU for awhile.”

“No not since you through your fit over you know who.”

“Alecia is dangerous. I’ve seen what she can do remembah?” Joanna is slipping up to the surface. She/I/ We lost friends and family to her and hers.

“I was there, Raine.”

“An so wuz ah Cherie, I see wit mah own eyes what kind o’ monster she is.”

“Well I’m not here to fight about it.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” I feel the slave part of me retreat from the foreground, I swear I can feel my complexion darkening and my hair picking up curl when I’m strongly being my Joanna self.

I sigh; I really, really hate fighting with HER. It’s like having a fight with your MOM/Sister/ Best Girlfriend and Lesbian lover all rolled into one. I’m a woman, I know it in my heart and being on the outs with her just feels wrong.

I look at her, try a shy smile and she gives me this big sister goofy grin back. “How about you show me how to work with these jeans?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

“Sure.”

SHE comes over with some of his shirts and a few other bits like a couple of old ties of his and she begins to show me some stitch-witchery. I let my mana sink into the cloth like water then I reach into the power and feel it out, touch each strand and get to know it. Then it’s holding onto the cloth, the threads as I pull stitches and seams and even threads apart and put them back together into a shape that I want.

It’s more and even better than that because I tear the ties apart magically and use the colored threads to make some girly embroidery. SHE shows me how to form the jeans onto me like a second skin, perfectly tailored to my body and even how to stress the fabric so it feels like I’ve had these jeans for years. I go with a boot cut jean with little random embroidered wildflowers here and there on them making them look all hippy-chique and vintage.

The left over material I make into a denim baseball cap with the symbol leaf dealie from the TV show Charmed on the front of it in embroidery. It’s kinda fun and my head is full of all the cool things that I can make and recycle into other things. It’s too bad I can’t unravel someone’s clothes in an instant but this takes time to do but a whole less time for me to do this by hand or on a machine. I mean I could if I used essence to do it instead of mana but stuff like that is not what you use your life force for in a spell.

SHE grins at me like she just…well SHE knows what I’m thinking. Hey I’m a girl, of course I’m thinking about my clothes. I give HER a hug and SHE hugs me back.

“Go on Raine you go have a fun night with your boy Faraday.”

“Don’t you mean boy Friday?”

“Nope, Google it sometime, you’ll get it.”

I stick my tongue out at her and she tickles me. Until I’m running squealing to the bathroom to pee in just my underwear. She’s giggling and fades out. Shaun’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind when I get out of the bathroom.

“Uhm Raine are you alright?”

“Uuh…yeah? Why?”

“Well you just went in there and then burst out of there giggling and freaking out?”

Shaun’s actually scratching his head just completely lost. I giggle at him, SHE must have stopped time for us while we settled things and she showed me stitch witchery. He’s got that guy look that just says she’s (Me) is hurting my head. I giggle again. I swear I feel his brain just turn around in his head and say “That’s it I’m outta here.” There’s this really cute look on his face like the kind a dog gets when it’s trying to figure something out…his head even tilts from side to side. I can’t help it, it’s just too cute. I go over and kiss him and scratch him behind his ears.

The kissing is great but do you know how hard it is to not laugh at something like that?

I step back into his room and slip into my “New” jeans and pull on one of his way bigger than me tee shirts and hem it with just a bit of power. Shaun looks at me. “Neat trick, so you’re a stitch-witch?”

“Nope, I just can do it.”

Shaun does this fake cocky frat boy lean in the doorway. “So like what’s yer major?”

I laugh, well giggle. “You need about another forty pounds of muscle and a lobotomy to make that believable.”

He grins and starts up the stairs. “You’re Wiccan right?”

“Yep.” I’m not lying, a large part of my majik is Wicca, but so is voodoo and thread magic and a bit of oriental herbalism and healing and who knows what else. “I just touch on other things.”

“You would with the power that you have going on.”

I catch up with him. “Shhush, I’m trying to keep this whole different than other people on the down low. It’s bad enough that she’s out there.”

“You mean the Vampire from Dairy Queen. Yeah I’ve been working on a few things.”

“You have?”

“Yeah, I saw how you reacted. You knew her, or about her.”

“She’s old Shaun a couple of hundred years and really dangerous.”

“It’s a good thing I’m working on things then.”

“You’ll show me?”

“Yeah, after supper.”

“Cool, the stuff I’ve been doing hasn’t been working.”

We head up the stairs and head out to the fields where Shaun’s family is still pulling stuff out of the ground. The air is full of the scents of the earth and His dad’s there and his mom and his sister Jill…

I used to have such a thing for Jill as a younger guy. She was that hot older sister your friends had that was cool. I lusted after her, and now I know that I really secretly just wanted to be just like her.

Okay scratch that, I though up to three seconds ago that was the deal with us. Jill…Wow. Jill used to be the big breasted blonde cheerleader type that most guys drooled over. Me I liked her because she was wicked funny. She was smart, right into all of the college prep classes and she loved cars and knew stuff about them and she was just about the only girl I knew who could play an electric guitar. She was the prom queen with the body and the long blonde hair and now…

I watched this girl wearing hip hugging army combat pants that showed off a black lace thong. She was wearing just this bit too small black tee shirt that really showed off her breasts and her navel area where she had this great chic-six pack. Her hair was cut military short and looked really good with this killer tan of hers. Her body had this sheen of sweat on it from how hard she was working and there was this smile of satisfaction on her face. The stunning thing was that my Hooker self…knew her? We had been lovers one night when she was on leave. I hadn’t been working, and I’d nearly got forced to do a freebie when this navy seal chick stopped Big Eddie Sims from bashing my head into the alley wall until he could tag the place with my blood. Jill bought me lunch at a diner and she treated me decently and she even made sure I got back safely to my shithole motel room. I was bi and I had kissed her just to thank her and Jill had kissed me back.

That was actually the best night of my life. She even gave me her deployment contact numbers. We talked when she was there and when I could. I was very much in love with her. And she deserved better than me and when she had started talking about coming to see me on her next leave I went on a bender and…died.

I’m more than a little in shock. I knew Jill as Raine and I knew her and had fallen in love with her as ……….and I never clued into it until right now.

Then there’s the fact that I had always assumed that the people that were part of me were long dead. Not actually close to my own age. WTF!!!???

There would’ve been a point where I’m sure I’d have fainted. But instead, I’m just lost, stuck staring at Jill as she’s pulling potatoes out of the soil and shaking the dirt off of them. I want to cry for my loss, I want to scream that I love her. I want to run away in shame of what I had done to her, to myself, to my…our life. I wanted to throw up. My other selves kind of come to my rescue with this little perception of Oh Shit in several dialects.

Shaun looks at me and grins. “It’s been awhile huh? You used to have such a thing for her back in the day.”

“You have no idea.” I stare at her for awhile before trying really hard to shake it off. We walk over to help and she looks at me with those big blue eyes of hers. I swallow hard but I don’t look away. She smiles and dusts herself off. “Rainbow? Is that you?” I nod a bit still the whole deer in the headlights thing.

“Uhm yeah….surprise?”

“Holy shit, you’ve changed. I mean I heard that you decided on becoming a girl and now that I’ve seen you. Damn you’re flat out gorgeous.”

Okay, that gets me blushing but at the same time I pout at her. “I’m not flat.”

Jill grins and gives me the checking me out once over. “No, no you are not. But you’re still gorgeous.”

“And you’re flirting with me Captain.”

“I might be and just how’d do you know I’m a Captain now?”

“I’m a witch.”

Jill laughs and Shaun looks at me and so does his mom and we share a quiet smile between us for a second. Jill does check me out a few times and is mildly shaking her head. I can guess the thoughts. I don’t look like a boy anymore. I know it, I’m not meaning to be conceited or anything but I more than pass. My magic and being the Evanescence has been changing me. I can see bits from each of my other selves in my appearance. Some might call it cheating but if they want to have all the other stuff that’s going with it then they’re more than welcome to it.

Sorry, Jill and the whole thing between me and…………has me really shaken up. I get bitchy when I’m like that.

We finish the last five rows of potatoes and Shaun and his dad are pulling the carrots and the turnips. They machete off the green tops to go into feed bags, Shaun’s mom cooks them and pickles them I guess. It’s fairly late by the time that we’re done and get the stuff into the barn bins where they keep them. We ate supper which was already cooking together. A nice pork roast and boiled new potatoes with fresh garden vegetables

Jill and her mom and I took care of the leftovers and I kind of went into my southern slave zone by slicing the rest of the roast up and plating it then making potato salad out of the remaining potatoes. Jill had gave me looks and her mom smiled at me and thanked me for my help.

Shaun comes in all cleaned up and looking good and walks up and circled his arms around me. “You wanna go see a movie?” I lean into his embrace, he smells good. “Mmm, yeah a bit of mindless movie watching sounds good. Let me go get cleaned up.” He kissed my neck which did nice things for me. It took a little bit of effort to want to leave his arms but I do. I leave him to talk to his sister.

I get downstairs and I take a shower then Stitch-spell myself a dress out of …hmn there’s actually not much here. I close my eyes and fill the room with Mana, I breathe, keep the flows steady and feel. There are fibers, tiny micro-particles in the air. I touch each of them, well more like soak them in my mana and it’s my power that I move, mold, and spin. I spin cloth from the air, there are moisture bits I can use and things that can make colors. Strands form like hair follicles and strands to cloth. I flow the things together and new underwear, A new bra with hooks of nearly bone like ceramic I form in the same way as the cloth only I bind the base structure in a web like way like fiberglass. My dress I make in a short simple v-neckline and to the elbow sleeves, it’s a navy blue color and My under things I color to a pale soft blue.

SHE is there watching me. I look over at HER and let a few tears fall. “Why?, Why her, why me? I though I only channeled the souls of just past lives?”

“You do, but it isn’t limited to your ancestors Raine, you call the lives of all those with the power of your blood no matter when they lived, or live.”

“But, but it’s Jill…I really loved her! Why did I have to come back to here, to her?”

“That’s part of magic Heaven; as much as we try to use it, to control it there are things that are still beyond the reach of all of us.” Heaven was my street name when I was a hooker.

“Even YOU? But YOU’RE The GODDESS?”

“Even me, and I’m glad for that.”

“YOU are?”

“Yes, if there wasn’t something out there in the all that was that is that makes us learn, makes us question and even catch our breath in amazement then what’s the point in living?”

“Even YOU?”

“Especially me, if I never had lessons to learn myself or things to move me then I think I’d be long since gone from all the times my heart’s been broken.”

“YOU”VE had YOUR heart broken?”

“Raine, I am who I am and even what I am is a woman. What woman hasn’t had her heart broken?”

I look at HER and SHE looks at me and I can see it, there’s not just all of our pain that all women have felt, lived through and with, but there’s stuff in there that’s HER’S if anything there is that female connection through that. SHE get’s it and not just in some cosmic way, but personally too…just like the rest of us.

It helps, it takes some one that hurt and confusion and puts into a new perspective. It’s strange but not that the more human she seems the more I can connect to her spiritually. Not to offend people but it’s like the difference in like praying to Christ and actually talking to/with him as a person. It doesn’t change who he’d be but at the same time it really would.

We hug and cry on each other and this…feeling, this connection. Mother, Aunt, Sister, Friend…I’m not sure how long it goes but it feels like a long time. I cry, Heaven…cries and I and her/Heaven turn myself over to her arms and Heaven’s lifetime of pain comes pouring out. Her addictions fight her release…I accept them, make them my own and so does the others inside of me and us. We dilute them accept them and finally even after being dead…I’m free.

SHE looks at me afterwards and smiles.

“I’m so proud of you Rainbow, that’s as hard a thing as I’ve ever seen. Heaven going as she had been wouldn’t have seen the light, her soul might have never fought through it. Maybe this was why? C‘mon daughter of mine you have a date and let‘s get you cleaned up.”
***
Shaun and I drove into town and ended up at the theater and we geeked out while watching Voyage of The DawnTreader. It was a good movie and I enjoyed it. The green mist, the evil gave me the willies and was too close to parts of reality. I liked Lucy and to me she’s better than Susan. And Caspian…he was very, very good for me.

There was still some magic in there for me. The scene with the boat going though the flowers was beautiful to me. And even though I know it’s all special effects and everything I’m a little girl feeling that awe when Aslan is there on the screen.

The whole thing was great. The caramel corn, sharing it with Shaun hands touching, his arms around me, getting to lean against him, crying because of the movie and not other stuff. Everything just was great.

Of course that’s why on the drive home and intending to get a snack somewhere or just go do something else tonight I spot the vampire…Alecia.

“Shaun, slow down it’s her.”

I watch her as she comes out from the YWCA dressed in a light pink zip up hoodie and a soft yellow top and grey with pink trimmed yoga pants. She’s got a gym bag with her and even a yoga mat. We slow and keep back and watch her as she get’s into her cute little car and heads off. Shaun pulls away and starts to follow her.

We’re driving for about a half hour and there’s a bit of traffic. There’s this wave of something that washes over the areas. Shaun’s car sputters and the radio explodes into sparks. The lights in town go out, and cars stop…except Shaun’s but I can feel magic of somekind eating away at his protections.

Then I notice everyone’s not freaking out, at least not where I can see. They all seem tranced out?

The Vampire’s not effected either. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t do this either as she’s looking around just as confused as us. Her car’s dead though like the others.

Then I see movement. I work one of Joanna’s spells, one to see in the dark. Useful when escaping slave hunters.

There’d this black guy walking down the middle of the street. Long dreads or braids but in a nice set of dress pants and matching jacket. He’s really handsome, darkly handsome. He’s got this necklace with a huge chunk of emerald on it that pulses with power and a club, a cudgel of sorts and he’s heading right for the Vampire.
Heaven recognizes him, Shea…he’s from the UK, but he was working the eastern US. A singer, and a real Irish bastard. He has power and there’s this keening in the air…like music. I think he’s singing.

He get’s closer and closer and the Vampire steps back until she get’s to her trunk and rips it completely off the car then reaches in for a shotgun. She gives him both barrels from twenty feet away. The shot hits him, there’s smoke rolling off of the holes from the blast and it doesn’t even knock him down. She gave him both barrels…

Shea’s eyes glow green and in a blur of speed he gives her an uppercut with his Shileigh that sends her flying back fifty feet and crashing down ontop of Shaun’s car.

Alecia coughs up some blood as she hits.

Shea starts whistling as he’s coming at us. He smiles… “Oy now wott do we ave ere now?”

I think we’re in serious shit.

*** CONTINUED IN VAMPYRE 3***

Evanescence 13

I can’t help but to wobble a bit as the effects of what just happened hit us/me Alecia stares at me her eyes sort of wide with looks so strange on a vampyre, her pupils have expanded until there’s just the pupil surrounded by a ring of the blue/grey that her eyes normally are. She get’s up from her knees and limps over to where I’m sitting on my knees beside Shaun.

“He’s hurt bad.”

She looks at me and there’s fresh tears running down her face making clean tracks in the dirt and the old tears of blood on her face. “I’ll do my best.”

I watch as she touches his skin, his heart with one hand and his throat with another. There’s a second or two where I can hear her hearing…Feeling his heartbeat and pulse, I can feel her mana slide into his bloodstream and run through him.

Minutes pass.

Alecia starts talking. “He has broken ribs and some internal bleeding, a bad concussion to go along with a fracture on his right leg.”

“Can you help him?”

“I’ll try, but you might want to call 911 just in case, he’s in shock pretty bad, his brain’s starting to swell. I’m going to try to reduce the swelling and control the interior bleeds.”

I see Mom up on her feet looking at me strangely and then at the statue of Shea and she’s on the radio calling in, calling in an ambulance. She limps over to me. I look around a little and there’s a few people coming down the bank to help us and asking if we’re okay.

Mom talks to them after shooting me another look. I can hear the sirens in the distance. I feel more tired and more hurt as everything I’ve just been through just kind of piles up and my other selves fade into the background of me.

Goddess has an ambulance ever taken so long?

There’s a sense of relief as the ambulances pull up and my Mom is telling them this story about some one panicking and us getting hit and run off the road during the blackout. Alecia is rattling off stuff to the EMT’s that are tending to Shaun and looks at me as we are or they are getting him into the ambulance. “Raine, get in the other one, you’re not in the best of shape either and get your mom in the ambulance too, she shouldn’t be doing any of what she’s doing.”

She’s still not moving from where she had put her hands on Shaun and moved in unison with them even as they got into the ambulance. She gives me this look like a promise and a tiny nod as they close the doors and pull off heading to the hospital. I feel a hand on my shoulder and there’s one of the EMT’s there and he guides me to the ambulance as the other guy is doing the same. I look over to the statue that used to be Shea and see rust on it already; it’ll be dissolved and blown away by morning. The EMT tries to take the bundle with Shea’s stone and shileigh in it and I eventually relent as the ambulance is swimming on me and I feel kind of faint.

Things pass by kind of fast and slow at the same time. How, sort of like everything in the ambulance was going really slowly and we’re oddly there in no time at all. I remember them squeezing these tubes of sweet something into my mouth. Glucose most likely…oh I must have burned through a whole bunch of physical energy during that fight.

We’re taken into the ER and SHE’s there as one of the trauma nurses. The place is busy; there was a lot of havoc from the power outage. There were several car accidents and people just being people when these kinds of things happen, like people losing their tempers with each other over the accidents that no one really remembers how they happened because of Shea trancing everyone out.

Some of the stuff isn’t good. I’m hearing stuff that might bring trouble for the mystical community and the other folk at large like…

I’m hearing some of them talking about a runaway horse that was the cause of a few accidents in town. Shea, people see him and us but didn’t get a great look because of the power being out. I guess that’s a blessing but part of me is wondering just what that’s going to mean. Worrying about it actually. If the world at large finds out about the world that’s right underneath their noses then what’ll happen then?

I’m in the same ER room as mom is and I’m getting a lot of questions about me and if I’m a diabetic and stuff like that. They’re actually pretty good about me being in transition and everything with the only comments being varying comments about how I’d have never had passed as a guy or that I made the right choice to a bit of disbelief that I’m all au naturelle without any surgery. I’m flattered by the comments and thank them but I don’t really bring up the fact that the magic and my being the Evanescence is pushing me more and more towards being female and a mix of my other selves as time goes on. Hell I even got the phone number of I’d like to be able to say pretty hot female nurse that gave off very strong lesbian vibes. I’m not into girls but it was an ego boost.

Mom was getting seen to despite her protests and once I’d been cleared and resting she was carted off to x-ray and getting her hurts seen to by a whole lot of people that seemed to care a lot about her. It was nice to see.

She was also talking to people in the town police and the sheriff’s department about what might have happened. She’s looking at the town police chief while having a tea with him and talking.

“I don’t know what happened Lewis, it might have been some freak lightning storm or something. I remember a flash of light and then there was everything going dark and then this really freaked out horse was tearing through the middle of town. My daughter’s boyfriend’s car was still going and we took off after it and the thing went wild even rammed the car and ran us off the road.”

“Yeah Donna that kinda has been like some of the reports that we were getting from the people and stuff but what gets me is how all those people up by the highway don’t seem to remember much of anything except the flash and things going dark. Hell all the vehicles there still won’t go their batteries are fried.”

“I don’t know Bryce, maybe it was like one of those eee-eem thingies you know.”

I smile at that and relax and look at the TV trying to see what the press has been saying about the whole thing when I see Shaun’s sister Jill on the news in a nice ladies suit and telling the reporter.

“We’ve had our people here as soon as we could get them here to check out the scene and to make sure that everyone in the general public was alright.”

“Colonel so why is the military here exactly and why is this a matter for the United States Air Force?”

“We were in the area running a night time test of a UAV remote when that remote was struck by an electrical storm that had descended from the upper atmosphere. That was the flash. Unfortunately there was a mild electro-magnetic surge from the storm that had hit that area in question temporarily knocking out power.”

“And the apparent time loss?”

“Well, nobody really lost anytime they were just flash stunned by the sudden flash of the UAV being destroyed followed by the sudden darkness. Really it’s sort of the whole deer in the headlights effect.”

“So you’re here to?”

“I’m here to liaise with the local authorities while the dispatched unit gathers the remains of the UAV and returns them to the care of the United States Air Force.”

“So this isn’t something like a terrorist attack that the public should be worried about.”

“No, it’s not. We’d definitely have a much larger force here than that.”

“Is there a danger of radiation from the UAV?”

“No, no, this was a large scale electrical flash, but I believe that the national weather service maybe issuing a weather alert.”
“Well thank you very much Colonel for your being able to talk to us tonight. This is Shelly Harrington, and back to you Jim.”

I frowned staring at the TV. I mean what the hell. I thought that Jill was a navy SEAL or something like that and that she was a Captain not a Colonel in the US Air force. Plus the way that she was dressed…Oh crap, Jill’s a spook of some kind, like that whole Men in Black thing. Despite this more than freaking me out I’m still punchy enough that I get a bit of the giggles as I realize if Jill was one of the Men in Black that it’d make her agent J.

Mom comes back in wheeled in by one of the doctors and she looks better but still messed up a lot. I smile at her. “So what’s the news?”

“I’ve got a bunch of mildly torn muscles and a fractured left arm and fractured left ribs plus I guess I’m recovering pretty well from shock, they’re going to be keeping me here overnight for observation.”

“Okay, I’m staying too.”

“I think that might be a good idea, Eric can you help me out with that?”

The doctor looks at mom and gives her a nice smile. He’s actually pretty cute.
“Absolutely officer, I’ll get you two a private room and have a second bed moved into it for your daughter.”

“Thanks Eric. Oh and Eric?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Donna.”

Okay part of me really needs to find out what the hell is going on but there’s another part of me kind of just girling out about the fact that my mom’s flirting with a doctor. And…he kind of looks like that McSteamy guy from Grey’s Anatomy.

I grin at her as he leaves and she’s got the good grace to blush a bit. There’s a slight smile on her face for a few minutes before she gives me this serious look. “Raine, I really need to know exactly what the hell is going on here because I’m about to freak out.”

I look at her and bite my lower lip and nod. “Okay but as to what exactly happened tonight I’m as in the dark on as you are okay?” she nods but tenitively.

“Okay you know how I’m into Wicca and all that holistic stuff since I’ve started to transition right.”

“Yes, I’m not really too happy about it but I’ve had friends in college that were into Wicca and some other things.”

“So you know a little bit about it?”

“Some, I’ll admit to looking through some of your books.”

“That’s fine, you couldn’t open anything dangerous.”

“Excuse me?”

“Never mind mom. Now you know in Wicca as well as other cultures there the being known as the goddess right?”

“Yes, I guess.”

“Well it’s not a guess, she’s as real as you or I am and I’m connected to her.”

“Raine.” Her voice was that disbelieving tone that some parents get when they think you’re being an idiot or something.

I reach out with my mana and manipulate force. I pull the door closed and flip the light switches off and call a ball of light over my open palm.

Mom’s response was to have her eyes widen and to very quietly say. “Holy shit…”

I drop the light and undo everything and look at her and she’s staring at me.
And she stares.
And stares.

“You’re not possessed or into the whole demon stuff right?”

“Uhm, that’s a real complicated question, but I’m one of the good guy’s mom.”

“Okay…”

“Like I said, there’s The Goddess right, patroness of women and all of that right?”

“Yes, she’s like god to the Wicca-people right.”

“Close enough, well as things turn out I’m this convergence of these very special Wicca and other woman mana user’s bloodlines. I am the sum, mixed re-incarnation of the souls and lives of these women. Every woman in our family’s bloodline no matter how distant that used the power is part of me. As my own ability to use magic grows I start to remember these past lives. Basically I’m Wiccan-Jesus.”

She’s staring at me again.
“You’re not bullshitting me are you?”

“Not a bit Mom.”

“So you being this…”

“Evanescence Mom.”

“Right, like the song right?”

“Yeah, really close. If I had theme music it’d be it.”

“Okay but this Evanescence thing it’s what made you want to be a girl?” there’s a bit of defensiveness mixed with concern and accusation in her tone. I smile and move getting out of bed to hers and hug her.

“No, not really but yes? I had no idea that’s what was going on inside of me back then. You saw how much I was floundering through life completely unhappy right? (She nods) Well it’s because when you gave birth to me the soul of the child you gave birth to was that of a little girl and not a little boy. When THE GODDESS came to me SHE showed me just something that was hidden, not transformed.”

“But…why didn’t I see it, you were hurting so bad back then?”

“Neither of us knew and honestly, I don’t think that SHE did either, they hunted down and killed the first Evanescence back during the time of the Amazons. No one’s expected me to return or even exist.”

“But everything that’s happened tonight?”

“Oh I’ve got no real ideas Mom, just that the Kelpie, that was the black guy with the stick who turned into the horse had a serious beef with Alecia. And we got caught in the middle of it because I was after Alecia too.”

“Okay…? Who’s Alecia and why would anyone be after her.”

“Alecia’s the woman who saved your life mom. She’s the tiny little svelte blonde girl from tonight. I was after her because I remembered her from one of mu past lives.”

“How? I mean how long ago did she die?”

“I…Joanna died just right around the tail end of the civil war….. I was part of de Unda ground railroad as you’d call it chere and when I was livin I was a bit darker then I be now.”

I slipped into Joanna mode and smiled at her and reached out and touched her face and tears fell down my cheeks. Mom’s eyes went huge again as she heard the deep heavy Cajun accent from the change and the shifts in my body posture and my facial expressions.

“Raine, Raine Honey what’s wrong?” she had this concerned look on her face that made things both better and worse all at the same time.

“Nothin Mama, it’s just that it be a long time since part of me has had a mother that I could love and touch.”

She hugged me tightly and quickly despite our injuries and it felt so damned good to be held. She even rocks me a little. “Raine?”

“Yes momma?”

“Can I ask? I mean how this you. How Joanna died?”

“It wuz bad Momma, I wuz helping dis bunch of slaves ta be getting free and they caught me. They beat me near um ta death and raped me b’fore they strung me up and set me afire.”

Mom’s eyes widened in horror and tears, huge fat tears fell from her face as she seen the horror of that night in my eyes. It broke another dam inside of me and I started bawling about it all over again as I relived some of the horrors that I lived through back then. I don’t remember them moving us into that other room but I remember Alecia coming in and her giving me a few pills and the rest was this blur of my other selves bubbling to the surface as each one of us of me just needed our my mother worse than anything right then.

Alecia’s Bit…..

I kept Shaun stable as we got loaded into the ambulance and went to South-End Regional Hospital and went in with them into the ER. I began to list off the injuries that I felt in him, that I was “Guessing at” because I was in the accident/incident. The ER nurses took over from there and I just leaned against one of the vending machines and panted.

So much had happened, so much was different and now I’m free. I’ve been cut loose of Michel and The Beast and I’ve got all of my soul back but I also got to see the sparks, the souls of all those people that I had fed off of and killed, taken their essence and doomed freed.

Even for someone as old as I am I’m freaked right out by the enormity of it all.

I get maybe ten minutes to myself before one of the drill sergeant nurses starts asking me if I’m an RN or an LPN. And before I even get to really answer we’re swamped by injuries and ambulances from the chaos of the night and Shea’s way too blatant attack on me and the others.

I’m busy as hell and there’s some pretty severe stuff coming in through our doors and I’m reminded of being back on the lines and being around the surgical tents during the civil war. Only there’s no booming cannon fire in the background and there’s a lot of difference between then and now in terms of the way in which we’re saving people.

I’m actually helping to save lives and not take them. I’m making a huge difference here and yes I cheat like a bitch and use my vampiric magic as I’m helping out to help control bleeding, and to reduce a lot of other related injuries.

I swear I see HER there right in the thick of things with me and there’s this strangeness in the air as I see her healing a man on a gurney as they’re wheeling him into a ER room and SHE stares at…I’m not sure what it is at first but then shadowy form that isn’t a shadowy form moves from place to place and those it touches get worse. There’s one patient that’s touch and go and SHE's there and it’s there and they seem to be staring each other down. I move in beside her and help using my bloodcraft to help this man live through and recover from the massive stroke he just had.

For one second HER and my eyes lock and I see, this man. This man being a good and decent man who might, just might die a few years from now saving a young girl from a house fire and die in the process…and this girl might, just might be inspired enough to become a firefighter and go on to save dozens of lives and the spin off from that…I have to pull my eyes away from hers the godsight is that…When I do I find myself looking DEATH itself in the eyes, well if it had eyes.

I still feel the stare.

And it knows me all too well. I cheated it out of it’s rightful due time and time again including with myself. I’m almost wetting myself I’m that scared and that face/head with no eyes in those robes but not robes stares into me and I’m frozen.

Then I hear her say. “BROTHER…she is MINE and she has a purpose, she thwarts IT’s needs by her very existence.” DEATH stares at me one last time and there’s this pressure on me, inside of me that weighs…measures and then this look to HER.

Something passes between them and SHE nods. “So Mote It Be.”

DEATH’S hand, or hand thing reaches inside of me and I feel something twist, change and alter in me…I then see DEATH turn from us and pass through the doors and fade away into nothingness.

And that’s right about when I fainted.
I woke up in one of the family rooms dry, tired achy with a headache and the sunlight blazing in my eyes.

Sunlight…

Shit!
Shit, shit, shit!!!

I roll off of the loveseat I was curled up into and into the nearest patch of shadows and start to rapidly beat away at the flames that…

Aren’t there….?

I hear this giggle from the next couch and SHE’s there laughing at me and still in HER nurses scrubs. SHE kind of looks like a twenty something Mother Teresa that had a make over that goes with today’s modern young ladies only HER scrubs are stained with blood and a few other things. SHE looks at me grinning and starts to mime me slapping away at the flames that I’d normally be roasting in and says. “Hey Macarena!” then falls back laughing some more until she gets up quickly “Damn I gotta pee!” And I watch her do the dash, potty dance all the way to the bathroom.

This is the Great and Revered Goddess?

Then again really considering all the other things that I’ve seen and encountered over the centuries. It’s not so much as striking me as strange but more like.

“More like you were expecting more?”

SHE’s leaning in the bathroom doorway as I was gingerly testing the closest beam of sunshine at first with a foot and then a finger then a hand. I kind of yanked it back when SHE spoke.

“Yeah, I ahh, uhm had you kind of pegged for someone, uhm something a bit more serious.”

“Oh I can be very serious, but I’m also very reflective of the energies that I draw on, like an empathy and I’m kind of riding that nursing staff adrenaline high right now. It kind of flavours the energy like a contact high, but if you want me to get serious…”

“No. no I mean that’s….alright it’s just I could really use some answers.”

“That’s alright so could Raine and the others.”

“Raine she’s the…”

“Shush…it’s not really out yet. We kind of want to keep it that way.”
“Yeah I can see where that’d be a problem, I’ve kind of had the same thing actually.”

“I know Alecia. I’ve been watching.”

“You have?”

“Yes, of course I have. I’ve watched you my daughter ever since you put on your first pretty dress up in the attic long before Michel had found you.”

“But…you couldn’t do anything because if you believed in The Goddess back in those days they’d have done you in as a witch. I never even heard of you until Michel had taken me from the Americas to Europe.”

“I lost sight of you when he turned you. I found you again when the torture the Templars put you through broke the vampiric bonds enough for more of the real you to surface.”

I look at her, smile and step out into the sun that’s coming through the windows. It feels nice, I feel warm. “Okay let’s find Raine and get things sorted out. I think it might be a good idea if we just get everything that’s going on out in the open.”

“I think that’d be a good idea.”

We leave and head over to where Donna and Raine had been taken to. We both heard the crying by the time that we had gotten there and I watched Donna cradling Raine who was crying her eyes out and switching from language to language and accent to accent. After everything that had happened she needed to get some rest so I got a couple of tranquilizers from the nursing station and got them down her and looked around for THE GODDESS but she wasn’t here anymore.

I looked at Donna. “I’m going to go and check on Shaun and slip out and get a few things here are you two going to be alright here?”

She smiled at me and nodded. “We’ll be fine, and…Alecia.”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for saving my life.”

“Donna, thank you for saving mine.”

I flash her a smile and head off down the halls to the room where they had Shaun. I walk into his room and there’s a young woman there in a black pantsuit. I look at her and she looks at me. Then she pulls face, I can feel the suspicion of me on her face. I step in as she gets up out of the chair she was sitting in. I’m getting sized up by a predator that’s for certain. Shaun’s awake but he looks like hammered crap. I give him a smile.

“Hey, big guy how’re you doing?”

“I feel like I picked a fight with a warhorse.”

I look at him, and then at the girl whose gaze snapped at him like…shit I think she knows about Shea. Her gaze snaps back to me and she extends her hand. She’s wearing church kid gloves, baby lambs wool that’s been sanctified. Rare and expensive and only very few people have access to them. I’m instantly on edge.

“Hi, I’m Jill I’m Shaun’s big sister. And you are?”

“I’m Alecia; I’m a friend of Shaun and Raine’s”

Her eyes narrowed, and I move over to the windows and move the curtain open a bit more to let the room get some more sunlight. That and it’s bathing me in it so that is definitely throwing this Jill off a bit. Double not good, she thinks she recognizes me somehow.

I look at him and he actually smiles at me and even under all of his bruising he’s a handsome guy. He looks to his sister.

“Alecia’s the nurse who saved my life and rode in with me on the ambulance and she saved Raine’s mom’s bacon too. She’s a good friend.”

There’s this smile there that is genuine and I almost tear up and I do feel a flush of a blush rise to my cheeks. I’m surprised too but hide it, or I try to. But I’m blushing and that means that there’s blood moving through my veins again. I pull my arms behind my back lie some girls do and grab my own wrist and…

There’s a pulse…

I’m Alive.

I’ve never fought the urge to lose it so much in my life. I want to dance, laugh, cry and a hundred other things but I don’t dare right now because. Jill is right there and Jill is dangerous. Really dangerous.

“Well I see you’re in good hands and I’ll leave you in your sister’s care. I’m heading out to run some errands do you need anything?”

“Just some of the stuff I had in my car, my cell phone and my laptop and a few clothes, Raine’s got some stuff in there too if you’re headed to the impound yard.”

“Sure I have to check on my car too it got fried too in the whatever. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

I beat a hasty retreat and hear Jill asking Shaun. “So what’s Alecia’s last name?”

Oh crap I make a bee-line for the Ambulance exit instead of the main doors and hail a taxi. Sure enough there’s two guys in government issue black suits in the lobby sort of looking dark and official.

Just Who is Jill really?

***

Kurt Lang had seen the bundle that the EMT guys had dropped off just within the nurse’s station in the ER. He was here jonsing bad for a fix and he figured he could score if he acted like he was caught up in that hullabaloo that had happened out by the freeway.

It wasn’t being guarded and there was just something about it. The faded denim jacket fell away to reveal a weirdly carved club, cane thingy but there on a chain was this big honking emerald. He swore the more he looked at it the more it called to him and in looking into it’s depths he swore he could almost feel another hit of the crystal methe he was almost insanely craving for.

It wasn’t that hard to steal especially once things got busy. He slipped into the stairwell and stared at it.

And stared at it and after moments…it stared back.

There were these green eyes inside it, green eyes slitted like a snakes but only made of these different hues of green fire. Then there was this feeling, this energy and it filled him just like the intense pleasure of his very first real high of the crystal.

~Yes! ~

“Wha…what?”

~Yesss.~

“Who said that?”

~I did Kurt; I have come to you Kurt Lang, for we are kindred spirits. ~

“Yeah, like how you don’t know shit about me.”

~Oh Yesss, I know that they hates you, these so called normal people and what do they do? Does they help thee? No! no, no, no, no they don’t they look down on you and they spit on you and throw you in prison for what? For trying just to earn your daily bread, to ease your pain. You never hurt anyone with your dealing, or using did you. No they are all the same. But I…I understand…~
“You do?”

~Yesss, I too am unjustly bound, unjustly named and imprisoned, we are kin ye and I. ~

“Who are you?”

~I am Asmodeous. ~

“What do you want?”

~I want to be free, and I want to restore my chosen people to my side but I need your help for that. ~

“Yeah? What’s in it for me?”

~Power, respect, and the this feeling that you have just barely feeling my presence is nothing compared to what you would feel and enjoy by joining with me. ~

“Joining, like how?”

~Just let me in. just two small cuts on the palms of your hands and that’ll let you connect with me through the crystal. Then I merely ask you, if you would render unto me all that is. ~

“And that’s it, my life changes?”

~Oh yesss, it changes. ~

There was a flare of green light in the stairwell and then silence, silence that was broken with maniacal laughter.

Kurt zipped up the denim jacket he had stolen over his amulet and his link to his master. There was nothing like the feeling of the venomous greenish fire that ran wildly through his veins. He tossed the fairy stick in the closest trashcan and left whistling down the street his once muddy brown eyes this greenish gold.

He knew a lot of people who’d take the master’s fix over the crap that they’ve been shooting themselves up with and killing themselves with.

Evanescence 14

Chapter 14

I relaxed for a bit while mom was still recovering from everything that happened. I close my eyes and kind of drift and review everything that had happened. The Fae, this Kelpie by the name of Shea had come here apparently after Alecia.

Alecia wasn’t the same person that Joanna had remembered at all and by the will or the grace of THE GODDESS was reborn or recreated into something else than a vampire entirely.

So that leaves an entire host of things that I don’t know. Like things about the fae and things about vampires and then there was Jill. Jill who wasn’t anything that she said that she was and was using government resources to cover up the events tonight.

Jill who was walking into my room.

“Raine, how are you feeling?”

“Confused.”

“Confused, why what do you remember.”

“See that’s the thing Captain; I mean Colonel; I mean…huh, what do I mean Jill?”

She glares at me and looks over at Mom who’s sound asleep right now due to a nice dose of pain meds.

“Look Raine, I’m not sure what you seen tonight but you’ve got to calm down Shaun’s still the same guy that you’ve known all these years it’s just he’s a little different, see there’s things in the world that most people…”

I can’t help but to start to giggle as she’s launching into her spiel about trying to cover for Shaun.

“What’s so funny?”

“I know about Shaun he told me about him and his majik.”

“And that’s supposed to be funny? He’s trusting you to keep his secret safe.”

“I know and I will but Colonel, you sounded like you were winding up to give me a talk about the facts of life.”

Jill’s frowning at me big time. “Raine this is serious stuff, I know you’re punchy from everything but you’ve got to take this deadly seriously. What happened tonight wasn’t some horse just freaking out. Hell I don’t know when or how Shaun got mixed up with this but I need you in his corner.”

I slip out of the bed. And start dressing in the robe they gave me and grab my purse. I look at Jill. “This sounds pretty big why don’t we have a coffee and you can explain to me just what’s going on and why that horse turned into a Jamaican looking guy with an Irish brogue.”

She gives me this nod but I can feel her nerves up on edge from what I just said as well as several static pools of power on her. She’s toting around majik on her person. We quietly stew in our own thoughts until we get to the cafeteria and get two large coffee’s and we head to the back loading dock of the hospital. I did my recovery from the accident here and it’s one of the few places that you can smoke. Normally I don’t smoke but I have in several if not most of my lifetimes. I keep some Benson and Hedges in my purse and sit down on a pile of palates and light one and offer one to Jill who takes one with a thanks she lights hers with a Zippo lighter that has a Navy SEAL insig on it. We both sip our coffee but I look at it as she lights mine for me and notices me staring at it.

There’s a few minutes of just us being quiet and just smoking and drinking our coffee’s together and it’s so odd. All these years later the fact I’m hanging out somewhere smoking with one of the coolest girls in school it’s just weird how things seem to turn. Jill waits a few minutes before taking several deep drags off the smoke and exhales a thick tired cloud of smoke.

“I’m going to tell you things that are top secret, some of these things you might already know but I guarantee there are those that you don’t. It’s going to all lead up to Shaun so just be patient please.

There’s stuff out there Raine, there’s things that go bump in the night and that are from an entirely different world that we know. I’m not sure of all of the real deep histories but it’s like this.

God as we know him wasn’t always top dog. He was the creator of man but humans weren’t the first life on earth. See majik is real and in the ancient past there were many earths each layered over the other and these were linked by natural gateways. These were all these places like Stonehenge and stuff like that. The people that traveled between these worlds were the elder races.

Now this is the stuff we don’t know. See the missing link was majik, when man developed the power to use majik it changed him from Neanderthal to what would be known in the bible. A jump in evolution sparked by majik and likely mankind imitating what we saw of the elder races.

We weren’t with it enough to recognize one creator so we came up with gods and mythos for some of them and others we took on ourselves as being influenced by these Elder races from Other Earths. It’s were most of our legends and stuff comes from. Majik feeds off of psychic forces like faith and belief and these gods and stuff were born I guess because of that.

Now we’re sure there were wars right around this time both in the other earths and in heaven as Lucifer tried to lay waste to everything in his jealous rage of mankind being set above his kind in gods image. This was when Lucifer was cast into hell and the rise of God as a singular deity had begun to spread. And majik began to wane as the church was replacing these older beliefs.

This caused the doors to close between those other earths and weaken and stuff and lots of things were stranded here. Sometimes they’re not so bad, but others bear a long running hate for us and stuff and some are even darker stuff that wants to feed on us.

There’s stuff brought through by cultists and people who can do majik all the time. There’s accidents and stuff get’s through, there’s times of the years when the doors can open a bit and stuff gets through then there’s things that are trying to get through to feed and destroy everything we know so they can either set up shop here or gain enough power from here to do something back where they’re from.

This is why I’m here. I was in the gulf war when we hit a terrorist spider hole only it wasn’t anything we had ever seen. There was old blood everywhere and there were bodies everywhere. The guy we were after was there but he wasn’t alone. There was some guy with him and the next thing I knew all the corpses were getting up and coming after us like in some freaked out horror flick.

Me and another SEAL got out of that area alive and after we made our reports we got taken to a base we had never heard about and after a year of learning the ropes, I got put into the unit.”

I take a drag then a drink of coffee then exhale out the smoke. “So what unit is that now? CIA? NSA?”

“No nothing like that. I’m a part of the American branch of the SDA, The Supernatural Defence Agency.”

“The MIB?”

“No, but yes. We were established to ensure the survival of mankind as a species against supernatural threats after WW2.”

“WW2?”

“Yes Hitler and the Nazis weren’t just trying to wage a war to dominate this world but they were trying to build a supernatural army to wage war on other realms as well by breaking down the closed doors to other earths that should never be opened again.”

“How?”

“The death camps, other things but so many of the mass deaths then were to power dark rituals to summon demons forth and free Lucifer from his place in the pit. They nearly succeeded too. The Aryans thought if they backed Lucifer in his bid for control over everything then they’d be raised to be the new Angels, Lucifer’s chosen people made in the image of the Lightbringer hence the blonde haired and blue eyed bit.”

“But they were stopped.”

“Yes by an alliance of humanity and some of the Elder races that didn’t want to see all of creation unravel itself if Lucifer got free. Since then there’s been a sort of strange semi truce between us and them to deal with threats like that.”

“Why don’t we just take out everything that isn’t human?”

“These elder races can unleash things that most people can’t fathom with majik, control the weather and all sorts of other things. We keep an uneasy truce with them but they are the Elder races and have deep connections. They are deeply imbedded into every culture and we have no idea of just what’s actually out there. So we keep the peace with a balancing act something like a pact between us and them of mutually assured destruction.”

“So what’s keeping them from wiping us out?”

“Technology for some of it but there’s the fact they’re numbers are really low. They can’t breed on this side of the doorways. But the biggest thing is they need us to be a buffer between them and the demons and other nasty critters out there.”

“So why doesn’t everyone know about this, why keep us in the dark?”

“Because people are fucking stupid and they’d start a killing panic and after that went tit for tat the demons and bad asses would chew us up. Then you got the idiots who will throw in with the darkness for whatever reason and basically it becomes the freaking end of days”

“So, what do you do with people like Shaun?”

“We watch them; keep tabs on them if we can. We have to take the ones that are violent or self serving and take them out or lock them up for awhile. Others if we can we recruit them but that’s a harder thing to do sometimes especially with the majik types like your self.”
“So you figured that out huh?”

Jill gives me this look like I’m being stupid. “Yeah, for one you’re setting off one of my toys like crazy and Shaun told you about his powers and stuff.”

“So What now?”

“You want a job?”

I can’t help but laugh. Jill gives me a look like she’s serious.

“Shaun told me that it was you that took out Shea. That wasn’t exactly a small feat of majik in itself Raine. We need people like you. Hell the Earth needs people like you and Shaun. America needs people like you two.”

I laugh again. But shake my head. “I’ll have to think about it. I’m not really big on that whole American pride thing Jill. I have some serious doubts as to If I should get involved with a group of any kind.”

“You might just need our protection Raine. The Morrigan won’t be happy that Shea was taken out. She might demand reparation and The Ash will likely not deal with you to intercede on your behalf.”

“He started it trying to kill us and a friend.”

“Alecia.”

I give her the blank stare.

“Shaun told me, she’s with you.”

“She’s under my protection, she’s a friend.”

“Under your protection? So how’s that going to work? You’re just one witch Raine and there’s problems with her.”

“Jill, there’s very few things that’ll tick me off threatening my friends is right there at the top of my list and being bullied is another. I mean it Alecia’s off limits.”

“Raine…” She exhales slowly. “Fine, I’ll let it be for now, but I can’t keep her off the radar. They’ll feel it out in my report.”

“Mind scanning?”

“Yes, there’s safeguards to keep us honest.”

“Who keeps them honest?”

“To know the in’s and outs of the agency you’d have to join the agency.”

“Like I said I’ll have to think about it.”

I get up and head back inside without her but head to Shaun’s room instead of the one I’m sharing with mom. He’s awake and I look at him sitting with the back of the bed up and the TV changing channels without a remote. I sit down beside him and sigh and lean my head on his shoulder. “I talked with Jill.”

“Oh…Yeah, so how’d that go?”

“Iffy, I learned some things that I never knew before. It’s mostly left me with more questions though. I’m not sure what to think. What do you think?”

“I’m not sure either Raine I’m just not sure about the whole government thing and if this can be trusted. But it’s Jill Y’know.”

“Not really Shaun but I get what you mean. She hinted at threatening Alecia.”

“She asked me about Alecia, but there wasn’t much that I could tell her.”

“So she’s fishing?”

“I don’t know.”

We both kind of sigh and Shaun winches as he wraps an arm around me and we end up watching reruns of Lois and Clark the old Superman show and just kind of snuggle together trying to figure things out.

***
Jill…..

I watch her leave and sigh. I could’ve played hardball but my watch was freaking out on me. It’s a tech-talisman that lets me pick up mana within a hundred yards and measure it. It’s off the scale; We rate mana on a scale, one point for something like tying your shoes, three for a ball of light, fifteen for a bolt of mystical lightning your average Wicca will run about a thirty, a big shot wicca or mage about a hundred the same as a lesser fae, a demon in a skin suit about two hundred…Raine was giving off fifteen hundred tired and beaten and having bested one of the worst bastards out of the fae courts.

Yeah hardball wasn’t going to work. I’m going to need to research her family, get the geeks to check her bloodlines and stuff. I’m going to have to talk to The Three about this, about Raine. She’s hooked into something…I don’t know what, but Shaun’s involved and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him get in too deep with this girl…

***
Kurt sat smiling as the three girls too turns servicing him as he gripped the emerald it’s light pulsing and filling the room of the crack house. The green in his eyes was slowly getting matched by those in the room, those who turned from the pipes and the methe to a richer, purer deeper high.

He was the Master’s vessel and through him power from them turning their souls their essences over to them. The master giving him a taste of that power from eating the essence of others, the more he converted the more the master’s green flame filled his heart.

Soon, he would be coming soon.

He would gather these wretched and forgotten souls and like he had been saved they would willingly cast themselves on the pyre and the doorway would be opened, soon…soon Asmodeus would return to Earth once more.

Evanescence-15

Chapter 15

*Alecia…

I leave the hospital a bit reluctantly at first heading out into the morning sunshine and not bursting into flames was…its bad fiction really, it is the re-souled vampire or Vampyre I guess according to THE GODDESS seeing the sun for the first time in so long.

I really don’t want to burst people’s bubbles but tons of vamps have seen the sunshine, most of us have and do all the time it’s just that we can’t have the sunshine actually touch us.

There are things that I do notice or know. It’s brighter than I remember or because of my senses. There’s way more people out and about than I’m used to unless it’s in a crowded place like a mall or a theater ect. I’m weaker, way weaker than I was and I’m not sure if that because I’m in daylight or because I’m sort of alive now.

I’ve got a pulse so that means alive right?

I dial up Onstar and find out where my car is and take a cab to the impound yard. It’s pretty dinged up from Shay and it’ll need a bunch of body work but it’ll drive. Shaun’s car on the other hand…it’s there with a whole bunch of other vehicles and it’s a total right off. I pay the impound fees and drive it under its protests off the lot. I take it right to my mechanics place actually and leave it with him and he rents me one of his spares that he has there.

I drive around town for a little bit getting gas, and a coffee and a box of doughnuts at Dunkin doughnuts…it’s so nice, more than you know nice not to have to have blood in or with everything I eat. I eat four jelly filled and have a large coffee and other than the enjoyment of it I’m still not human. No lift from the coffee and no sugar rush from the doughnuts.

I’m used to that so it’s not too big a let down but I’m finding that I need my sunglasses and end up buying a pair with mine being in the car back at the garage. The sunlight’s starting to give me a headache or rather that there’s so much glare off of everything during the day.

I stop off at my house take a shower and get changed and catch myself falling into my pattern of dodging around the light through the windows in the house. My cats want seen to as soon as I’m through the door and regardless of being a vampire or whatever I am now they ran right up to me yowling at me and demanding their food. I love my furkids for that. I treat them to some tuna and the water off the tuna mixed into their dry food and I ate half the can myself not having to eat it with blood on it. It tasted totally different than anything that I’ve had. Not great actually but so not like what I’ve had, There used to be this place in Osaka that served Hamachi in it’s own blood with a touch of sweet Meyer lemon juice hinted into it and a touch of mirin and Saki…that was the best Tuna that I had ever had and that was back in 1922…unfortunately that was in my darker days and I ate the chef and his family too after that.

I head out after taking out the garbage and changing the litter boxes and a few other sundry things and head over to Donna’s house. I’m leery about the whole invited in thing but as Donna gave me her house keys.

Raine…wow girl. I can feel her wards around her place and the neighborhood a mortal wouldn’t recognize them and there’s so many that the place shines a bit and will definitely be felt by something of the paranatural sort or…I see a car with government plates driving around and one fellow in looking at some kind of I-pad or something. I start for her trailer and as soon as I get there I’m out of her place and taking out the ward symbols with a bleeding finger, no power in the blood but just to wreck the sigil. I take down the spell-bags and fetishes and stuff and break them and tear them apart and toss them into the trash…I’m at the curb and yeah they’re at the end of the street checking out one of her charms that’s there in the tree.

I know she did a lot of this to protect herself and her mom and Shaun from me but an active charm or ward like these are able to be felt pretty easily. These Men in Black guys seem to be able to track majik or at least active majik and from watching him typing things into the I-pad like device he might be cataloging it or try to see what it is or what it does.

They pull up this street and I moved back inside the trailer and they slow but don’t really look here still focused on the thingy. I breathe a sigh of relief and wait, I wait and watch and don’t really do much until they’re out of the neighborhood. I’m not used to that, but the whole thing’s set me on edge. I leave my car there and take Donna’s truck and clothes for her and for Raine and drive back to the hospital. I’m being paranoid now and it’s a good thing too. I’m no expert but with the life I’ve lead I’ve picked up a tail in an unmarked car but they look like official looking guys trying to look un-official. I don’t actually do anything but actually let them follow me all the way to the hospital and I head inside to go find Donna and Raine.

I get in the elevator and pull on my mana…oh…bonus. And I move vampyre fast up through the top hatch and jump over to the elevator going down and feel just one person in there. I drop down and startle the nurse and I lock eyes with her. “I was always here, that was just a bump that startled you, you should call maintenance…” she gets that hypnosis daze when she’s been tranced and then say’s cloudy like. “Yes…I should call them…” then she clears up and frowns. “Did you hear that? I really didn’t like the sound of that. I’m going to give the repairs guys a call. Someone might get hurt.” I mirror her as she walks out keeping myself between me and them and seeing them talking to that sister of Shaun’s before they see me I make a quick slip into the stairwell and head up to find my friends….Holy…when did I start having friends?

*Raine….

As tired and sore and drained as I am it’s so nice to just lay there in the hospital bed with Shaun. As beat up as he is and hurt as he is he still wraps those strong arms around me and holds me and we take a few minutes to just lie there together and just Be, just Breathe.

We fell asleep for awhile together and my dreams are chaotic, mixtures of the other versions of myself and they’re all stirred up. I dream of Spain and the deep south and Vietnam but of ancient Norse villages and Viking boats and Greco-roman styled homes but up in a mountain valley mostly made of stacked stone and grasses and mosses in between covered in stucco like plaster and made to look rustic but still cultured and fancy. I remember being scared from spears and swords but also at the same time being Nordic blonde and stacked and having a wife…being a lesbian but one in a community of them…I remember ambushing and killing men, not soldiers of the Roman Empire but merchants and robbing them and taking their young men and boys. Using them for sex until those that wanted children had gotten with child and either killing them after that or gelding them and keeping them as slaves or selling them as such. I remember bearing a baby boy and having him taken and drowned and I/Me then was good with that.

That wakes me up. I get off of Shaun and into the bathroom and I’m violently sick over that, those feeling of the Nordic me. That last community of what was supposed to be the great Amazon nation. Artemis’s priestesses ruled there for the most part and there were a lot of us there who didn’t just love women and were part of that but we…we were not good people. We were with OUR people but we…I…we did horrible things.

I feel the images so strongly and for as few long minutes I’m fighting through the hate and revulsion that she, us, I feel at being with Shaun and being a girl that has the parts of a man.

SHE’S there with me and rubbing my back and holding my hair out of the toilet bowl as I ride through the memories and thoughts and feelings of that Nordic witch that I once was. She had power, and she/Me is so strong as she surfaces inside of me with a vengeance trying to be the one in control, trying to do things right or right according to her and I’m assaulted with the memories and the horrible things that she’s gone through. Raped at the age of nine by her kinsmen, beaten and tortured and left for dead for being a witch and cast out from her village and all those nearby. Taken in by raiders and used as their whore until she was with them when they went to a witch in the Black Forest for healing. Getting taken in there as an apprentice…air sympathy, storm majiks, strict lessons and punishments because it was a hard land. She’s so strong, but she had turned into a killer, a die-hard man hater and she still is.

The other versions of myself tow the line though. Me, us, them none of us are good with her being a murderer of people, a rapist of young boys and a baby killer. Joanna and heaven have suffered as a slave and a hooker under a lot of men and they help me/us face her and Joanna me, pull her into her and us and we three but me as the Nordic her relives Jo’s life as a black slave and being raped and being a slave and the pain and the depths of the degradation that you really go through that most people could never fathom.

It almost literally drives me/her insane and we’re pulling together into her and me and she/me gets to feel the horrors and hardships that are all of my lives. Including the current me and the pain that most genetic women will just never get at not being the woman that we transgendered people really are. ..It‘s the last push in all of it really and she loses it as we shatter under the strain of it all.

So how would a man hating, raping, male child killing feminazi take being trapped as a male when you/she/I know that I’m a woman, that I’ve always meant to be a woman and then seeing her and what she and the others in her village had been, and looked like in HER eyes. Feeling the sadness and the raw pain of HER as a MOTHER seeing HER daughters killing Their babies because they’re boys. How SHE as the GODDESS was also a Mother and that Mothers love their sons….she/we/I feel the depths of HER loss and HER shame of what we/they had become then.

And seeing because of them and their militant hateful leadership the Utopian Amazon society died within a single generation. They were like the hippies compared to the greedy consumer paranoid culture of today. Men should have been just as respected; it wasn’t about any femdom bullshit but about equal rights for one of the first times and a chance at something better. And it wasn’t war that killed them off, not really. It was the extremists that came after the founders. They drew the eyes of the world on them and the powers that be in those days, The Roman Empire, the Fledgling start of the church and all that followed just finished the blow generations later because of what they did and what they challenged the amazons died and they did their damndest to erase any trace of them and all of their blood from the world.

I cry, I cry so hard at the sheer waste of it all and all of the pain that I lived through and had inflicted was for what!? I cry but I laugh too as I realize that I’m the legend, the Evanescence the holiest concept of the Amazon nation and that in each of those lives I was that as well only I…Me…Raine’s the first one in so long so many ages even before she was born to achieve it, or to touch it…I was it all the time and I was just too full of my own hate and bullshit that I never seen it…There’s this grim Nordic Viking irony that has me laughing until it all starts to fade and I’m soaked in the shower stall of Shaun’s room and SHE’s with me.

SHE’s wet but clothed and looks like a goth chick if you could have a goth dressed RN. SHE looks at me and is kneeling looking worried a bit. “Rough one this time wasn’t it?”

I laugh but it’s sort of that strangled crazy Mel Gibson if he was a girl looney kind of laugh, Kramer from Seinfeld with boob’s crazy laugh as I nod. “Whoo, yeah this wasn’t a fun ride at all this time.”

“Sorry…”

“No you’re not.”

“Well kind of, but not a whole lot.”

“Oh, well fuck you very much then. You’re forgiven.” I grin at her; we’re developing this weird banter. Technically I’m only kinda sorta Wiccan, so SHE and I aren’t like boss and employee kind of thing but SHE’s part of what they did to make the thing back then that became me so…we’re close.

SHE smiles at me and dimples and sticks HER pierced tongue out at me and gives me the finger.

I laugh at HER. “Hey stop coming onto me, keep your tongue and finger to yourself I’ve got a Boyfriend.”

“Yeah he’s kinda worried about you right now and the only thing keeping his hurt ass in bed right now is Alecia.”

“You didn’t do something like stop time for this or anything?”

“Nope, the stuff in the ether is way too disturbed for me to be doing something like that.”

“Yeah I guess there’s been just a bit of power thrown around her the last forty-eight hours or so.”

“Exactly and it’s still pretty choppy.”

“Jill?”

“Another good reason but there’s stuff going on that I can’t see.”

“Not good?”

“Dunno, it could be the fae. We’re going to hear something over the kelpie and what you did to him.”

“Great, Jill said that there might be trouble from this Morrigan and the Ash?”

“Fortunately there might be a bit of wiggle room there.”

“Howso?”

“Wicca is one of the old faiths, the older majiks and I’m from the same era of creation as they are and so I’m seen as a cousin in sort of like the royal way to them. I might be able to claim you as kin and extend you some of that protection. The light fae should respect it, the dark fae say that they might respect it.”
“Oh? So they really don’t like humans then?”

“You ruined the world as they see it, created and brought for the gods, brought earth to the attention of heaven and Hell and got them involved in a war with the demons. Oh and the one religion of God pretty much killed the belief in majik so when the majik in this world weakened it closed off all those doors and gates that they used to use to travel back and forth through.”

“We did all of that?”

“Yes but not all intentionally, the demon thing was an accident but not depending on who you ask.’

“Okay, That’s when we tried to imitate the fae and in doing so we evolved into modern humans and Lucy took a shit fit.”

“Yes, Heaven claims that God, the one true creator created Man in his image because both the Angels and the Fae didn’t possess the perfect quality that he wanted, needed in his children. They say it was the divine plan for mankind to evolve the way that it had. In either case Lucipher hates humanity for being put above him and he hates the fae because they helped put you there.”

“So what was that one perfect thing?”

“The Human soul? No other being has a soul like a human soul has. Other beings have souls but they seem to be a certain way, to have certain rules and no other species has the capacity for good or evil or damnation or redemption that a human soul has.”

“That’s why you were able to do that thing that you did with Alecia isn’t it?”

“Yes, redemption and absolution are some of the most powerful forces in existence against evil.”

I pass HER my hands and SHE pulls me up to my feet. I feel wonky and really off kilter. I lean my butt on the sink and throw some mana into the air and wrapping myself up in a vortex of air and sort of blow myself dry.

“What now?”

SHE’s gone.

I shake my head and take my time walking out and Alecia’s right there to help me over to Shaun’s bed. He pulls me into his arms and I enjoy the squeeze he gives me so much. I can’t help but to look on him with new eyes and in wonder actually at the light and the love and the caring that’s there in them for me.

There’s a lot of bullshit with being the evanescence but to be able to look at someone that you love and see all the reasons that you love them all over again and still see new things, amazing new things about them.

Right here and right now it’s worth it.

“I heard you in there Raine are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just re…” I look at him, Shaun doesn’t know yet. “I was reliving as past life and it got kind of rough on me, like PTSD trip rough.”

“I sounded like you were going through hell in there.”

“Yeah, I was actually.”

“So that’s got to suck right?”

“Yeah, it does but its part of who I am.”

“So like a Druid thing, or a Buddhist thing?”

“No it’s more than that Shaun.” Should I tell him? What’ll he do? What’ll he say? Will he be in more danger because of it or less, will he tell Jill what I am? He already told her about me…I close my eyes and bite my lip and keep it to myself. “It’s sort of like I channel my ancestors. I see and feel stuff and learn things. It’s kind of like me leveling up in D&D.”

“Oh, cool”

Alecia’s looking at me with this not quite approving but she’s not going to bust me until after we talk look. Yeah all of that, hey she’s old she’s had the practice.

She does break the mood by handing me a bag of my clothes and a box with a few doughnuts in it. My stomach makes a fine impression of a horny mountain lion about that time and was actually that strange a sound we do get a laugh out of it. I eat three and Shaun eats two and that kills the box and Alecia’s muttering about... “Bloody Magicians, you work a bit of power and they’ll eat you out of house and home.”

“Hey, sorry Alecia. But we’re starving.”

“Yeah, yeah okay. Listen Raine we’ve got to talk.”

“Okay, bathroom?” She nods. Shaun rolls his eyes. “Women, jeesh Raine you just got out of there.”

“Yes honey and I’m going to go and change and stuff, it’s a girl thing okay?” I smile and dimple at him. He just gives me that look that guys give women just for being women and stares the TV into turning on. “Fine, I’m just going to watch TV.”

“You do that pumpkin.” And he winces at the pet name and gives me an annoyed look and I give him a kiss on the forehead like he’s being a good boy. I take my things and head into the bathroom again.

Once inside I turn the shower on and take out my clothes and stuff and set my things on the sink. Alecia sits on the toilet with the seat and lid down using it as a chair and her eyes wander over me as I shimmy out of the hospital robe and then my underwear. She stares at my crotch a little. I turn red. “Hey, eyes up please.”

She nods and looks up and I run my hands through the towels there restructuring them into plush and soft terry cloth ones. “Right there that’s the number one thing that we need to talk about.”

I step into the shower and start using the homemade soft soap that I made and use at home of my shower poof and start lathering up. I use a bit of power to sort of make a fine shield to keep the spray in while I keep the shower curtain open.

“You Raine. You’re extremely powerful even now. But you’re barely trained. You’re leaking power all over the place and you are leaving mage trails all over the place. I saw some very officially under cover looking guys checking all the protections that you’ve left all over town and if I hadn’t taken them down then they would have used their mage-machine to pick your place out magically like a hose decorated for Christmas in the West-bank. I caught them reporting to Shaun’s sister.”

“Yeah Okay I can see them doing that. Jill’s a MIB agent.”

“MIB?”

“Men in Black…like the movie.”

“Never seen it, I’m not one for movies.”

“Oh, okay Jill’s a government agent and works for an agency that’s tasked with keeping the supernatural forces in the world from tearing us and each other a new one.”

“Oh, well she’s looking at stuff in town.”

“She told me all of that in fact she’s kind of wet for you right now.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. I think that she recognizes you a bit but the you she's seen being around in the daylight's scrambling her up and she’s not quite getting who you are sorted in her head. Its okay I told her to back off that you’re under my protection.”

Alecia rolls her eyes at me. “Dammit, Raine you should have told me first!”

“Hey! Why’re you yelling at me? I stood up for you.”

“Look you said that she’s government and you warned her off by they never work like that. I’m likely being investigated right now and all my stuff’s getting hacked and they’re going to find out eventually that my current ID isn’t really me.”

“Look, I don’t really trust Jill or this SDA she works for either but right now there’s nothing that either of us can do about what she’s going to investigate. Like I said she’s got her nose into your sent and she’d have looked into it anyway. Jill’s like that.”

“You sound like you know her.”

“I do and more importantly I did. One of my essences hasn’t been dead that long. Jill and I used to be lovers.”

“And I take it she doesn’t know that?”

“No and I’m not going to reveal things to her at all if I can help it. They get read telepathically when they report into wherever they’re headquartered at.”

“Lovely, so who keeps them honest?”

“Hmm, that’s what I asked. She told me it was need to know and since I wasn’t in her club I didn’t need to know. But I get your point about learning to get a grip on things. I haven’t really been doing any of this that long for me to get a grip on any of it.”

“Yes and that could be a problem.”

“So, what about you? You’ve gotta know some things?”

“Some but most of my powers were of the vampire majik variety.”

“But you know some stuff. I know some stuff from being a slave and from my storm-witch days and a little Wicca from my hooker days. I’ve got a tutor in the Wicca stuff out in the trailer park so that’s a start right?”

“I guess but we’ll have to find you better, you need some serious teaching young Skywalker.”

I step out of the shower and start to pat myself dry. “Star Wars, you know about Star Wars?”

“Hello, I was undead not dead Raine. Everyone on the planet knows what Star Wars is. Besides to a vampire the idea of a lightsaber is kind of scary stuff.” She smiles this nice little kinda shy girl next door smile. It feels rare and genuine.

“Was that a joke?”

“A bit of one but you got to be careful making Star Wars jokes in the paranormal community.”

“Huh?”

“Ooooh, Never make a Wookie crack to a Were-Bear.” She said it with such a straight face that it takes me a few seconds and a close look at her before I start to laugh, actually I laugh until I snort. Oh my geeky funny bone is enjoying that way too much considering the life I live I sort of get this funny vivid image in my head.

It feels good to laugh like this and Alecia…there’s something there that’s shining and sparkling under those eyes of hers. There’s this girl next door there but the geeky shy kind, maybe who she was before she got vamp-amped.

“You and I are going to really get along I think Alecia.”

“That’d be nice; I don’t have a whole lot of friends. I never did.”

“You do sort of seem like the wallflower type.”

“More like you’re type.”

“Huh?”

“Before I was turned, I used to be a boy. Michel turned me into a vampire and by using his powers over blood magic he flipped a chromosomal switch turning me into the girl I always wanted to be and knew I was all I had to do was to give up my soul to him in the process.”

I go over and give her a big hug. She cries a bit and I cry a bit too just because she’s crying and we just have this moment. We get each other, there’s parts of her and me that click. Suddenly we’ve got someone now who gets it.

“’Leasha, we are so going to have to really sit down and talk about stuff. There’s so much.”

She nods and sniffles into my towel. “Yeah, s’not fair y’know.” Her voice has this light southern lilt of her deep southern background.

“Hey, what’s not fair?”
“You got hit with The Evanescence thing and I get turned into a vampire and you get to have bigger boobs than me.” She sniffles and looks at me. Eyes dancing again despite being red and a little puffy.

“Fangy bitch.” I shove her and then tickle her, she tickles me back and suddenly I’m not twenty three with several lifetimes making me way too damned old and she’s not a world weary vampire who’s been around since the civil war, we’re just too girls too friends and we’re just being.

Normal.

Evanescence 16

Chapter 16

There’s a funny buzzy feel of majik in the room as Alecia and I get out of the bathroom after fixing our make up. It’s only a little strange now doing that. My old self seems so far away at times and yet coming in from the bathroom I’m smiling at Shaun, My Shaun sweet and handsome and before we became an item he was my best friend.

I used to party with him, drive around town, check out the girls and most of the time play video games and role-playing games with him and the guys. We play all sorts of different games now and hell I’m living it really. I’ll never see those games like I used to. I guess dice and rulebooks don’t really hold up to reality.

Gaming doesn’t remotely hold up to kissing him. I kiss him and before I can stop myself he’s going “Raine don’t…” There’s an arc from him to me of lightning and it makes my eyes go cross staring at it for an instant looking at the arc from his lips to mine then it moves to the tip of my nose and there’s this electrical pop sound and a flash that knows me on my butt.

I’m blinking the flash blindness out of my eyes and Alecia’s giggling and helping me up.

“Holy crap!, Ow, Shaun what the heck was that?”

Alecia’s still laughing. “You have to be more careful Raine, you’re dating a Faraday.”

I blink and stare at her then at Shaun who sheepishly smiles and waves his fingers at me and there’s an electrical cord in his hand wires bared and it’s plugged into the wall socket. I looks like he got the cord from the floor lamp in the corner.

“Ow…Shaun honey what are you doing?”

“I’m uhm supercharging…”

“Huh?”

Alecia helps me sit in the chair, the majik’s coming from him. She sits on the arms of the chair. “Shaun’s a Faraday, that’s an energy mage, a lightning/electrical type actually. He’s using his majik to boost his body into healing super fast by feeding electrical power to those cells using his majik to do so.”

“Whoa, that’s a neat trick.”

Shaun blushes and then smiles at me. “Thanks, though If I was as good as I thought I was I wouldn’t be needing to do this. That big horse guy messed me up good.” He lifts the hospital gown and stares at the black bruised flesh and it’s slowly starting to fade around the edges and lighten.

Alecia looks at him. “Shaun, you did as well as any of us…Shea, was dark fae, a kelpie a real supernatural creature. He kicked my ass too, he kicked all of our butts except for Raine here.” she rubs my shoulder friendly like.

I look at both of them. “Even I had help, I called out to a powerful majik user I’ve know from before and she helped me in a bad spot.”

Both of them are looking at me. I shrug at both of them. “Hey, I needed the help, she had the experience and I didn’t. You can only fly by the seat of your pants for so long.”

Alecia nods. “Good, you’ve got a lot of stuff going on Raine and nothing is going to get easier. I can help some, I’ve learned a few things over the years but you need to train.”

I sigh and lean all the way back in my chair letting my hair spill out over the back. “I was hoping for a break but that’s not likely to happen is it?”

“I don’t know. I’m more than a little disturbed by the whole thing with Shea.”

“Yeah what was that about?”

“Michel, my sire or former sire made me a vampire and I was his darling for a long time until I was caught by enemies and held for a long time by a group called The Templars. They starved me and they fed me drug addicts and lunatics and the truly insane. Over time it drove me insane. But insane was different than what they thought it would be. I didn’t become something worse than what I was but instead all that suffering I was absorbing from my kills weighed down on the part of me that was the beasts own and with that link muted down from it I could feel and hear what was left of my soul. Michel has always wanted me back.”

“So he found you somehow and sent Shea after you.” Shaun asks.

“Yes but Shea was using some kind of other power from that gemstone. I didn’t like the feel of that and then there’s the fact the fae, any fae are contemptuous of the vampires. Blood enemies actually really.”

“So there’s something that got a fae and a vampire working together then?”

“It looks like it Shaun but it’s got to be bad really bad if Shea wasn’t afraid of the Morrigans wrath.”

“The Morrigan?”

“She…usually she is the lead enforcer of the court of the dark fae on earth. She’s very mob like in a lot of her attitudes and Shea wouldn’t have been free to work for a vampire, he’d be begging for Raine to have taken him out like she did if the Morrigan got a hold of him and knew he was working with a demon.”

I look at the ceiling. “So what could compel the two to work together?” I think I know, I think I know because I’m back, I’m back and he sent Rapture out to take me out.

Alecia sort of stares out the window and sighs. “I don’t know but there’s something, I’m sure of it and there’s a connection playing around in my head and I just can’t put all the pieces together?”

“Asmodeus…”

Alecia looks at me staring actually. Shaun looks confused. She looks at me. “He still couldn’t he’s confined to hell, and he’s still a demon.”

I’m seeing things, visions and memories of this tall pale like a vampire white haired model hot guy with a huge build and sharp canines and these burning emerald eyes…he has…had this sneer on his face and there were legions of undead roman legionnaires behind him and he had this shimmer like a heat shape, like the way you’d see something invisible on SF TV shows or movies…the shape is that of wings…angelic wings…

I know things, and it’s not from some other life but just strangely there, part of me? “He’s not a demon, he’s one of the princes of hell.”

“He’s a demon lord then.” I hear Shaun say.

“No…He’s an Angel.” I say and sit up and rub at my eyes and feel my mistake as my make up smears, both of them look at me.

“The last one, the last Evanescence, I stopped him…but he killed me…I can remember seeing him back then…”

Oh shit, oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I look past my hands at Shaun, he’s staring at me.

“Raine…? What the hell do you mean killed you? And you remember?” it was strange to see his power gather in his eyes and turn his pupils silvery, he seems to have gotten more defined some how?

Alecia stands and puts a hand on his chest and there’s a arcing spark of lightning that doesn’t seem to bother her. “Shaun, relax, power down some.” She turns to me. “You haven’t told him?”

“No, It’s…dangerous.” I lower my eyes as Shaun comes off the bed angry. “Dangerous!, dangerous…dammit Raine! What the hell was what we just went through…bloody juggling!”

I get up in his face and glare at him. “No, you don’t get it. I’m dangerous! I’ll always be dangerous! If it’s not Asmodeus it’ll be someone else, something else, there’ll be always something lurking trying to take me out and the people around me that I love!”

“That’s not your choice to make! Some of us can take care of ourselves!” Shaun’s hand points at one of the medical things and a bolt of electricity jumps from his hand to it blowing it to crap. My eyes widen and Alecia runs to open the window and put out the few burning bits of plastic.

He steps right up to me and takes my chin in his hand and makes me look up at his and it’s so unfair he’s so intense and hot…and that he…that he cares so much…his eyes are shimmering down from silvery back to blue but there’s this shimmery in between that’s so…his voice is tight, husky with emotion.

“No way, there’s no way you can say that, you don’t get to choose who loves you. I could get hit by a car crossing the street. Shot by some idiot with a gun. We never know, we don’t get to know. And to choose to be around you with this whatever going on it’s just bullshit Raine. It’d hurt more than getting injured or even killed Raine if something happened to you and you didn’t let us be there to do everything we can, we could do…everything that I could do.”

He kisses me after that and there’s staff running in as he’s doing that and that hand under my chin turns to both hands cradling my face and deeper and deeper kissing and there’s parts…other me’s swooning…or just flat out amazed at him, the man that he is.

I only sort of notice Alecia telling some story in a weird cadence to the nurses and staff that the unit just shorted out and blew that it was just the strangest thing that she had ever see. The staff seem to buy it even though I’m pretty sure that the story sounded a little weak.

I break the kiss with him as his parents come in looking relieved and I catch the look between his dad and him and then again with his mom. He looks at them and after the staff filters out of the room says “It’s okay she knows.” There’s a look of relief on their faces. His mom hugs him and starts to check him over by moving his Johnny shirt. His hurts are nearly gone the bruises and everything mostly faded away. She’s looking at him intensely for a few seconds and they hug.

Alecia smiles at us. “Hey if you’re going home with Shaun. I’m going to make sure that Donna gets home alright and I’ve got to try and catch some sleep before heading to work..”

I go over and hug her. “That’d be great, I might stay over at Shaun’s tonight.” She nods and says as she’s leaving. “Okay, I’ll call you or text you later and see what’s up. Say hello to Jill for me.” She slips out with a bit of a smile.

I stay with Shaun as he get’s released and the doc’s can’t figure out what happened where he’s so much better almost fine. They’re still that busy that they end up chalking it up to looking worse than it was and all the stress of the strangeness of the night. I guess it just goes to show that when confronted with the strange most people will ignore what’s right out in front of them rather than face the truth.

Nicholson was right…“You can’t handle the truth.”

We head out to the farm in his parents van. Did I mention they were kind of the hippy types. The van is one of those old camper ones Volkswagen made and you saw all over the place in the sixties. I’m sitting in the back with Shaun cuddling up and bouncing a little too hard because I’m not sure this thing came with shocks. His dad’s driving and singing along to his mom some really old tune called “Roller derby Queen.” I’ve never heard of the thing but it sounds really old and stuff. That gets me laughing and a Shaun’s giving me this look like I’m nuts. He’s still got this look in his eyes though like this deep intensity under the waters of his soul.

We stop by the impound yard and his dad hires a wrecker to get the car. I stare at the wreckage yeah wreckage it’s a total write-off. I snuggle into him and rub his sides. “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“He came after Alecia, not you, this isn’t on you.”

“Yeah but I’m involved.”

“Yeah, so tell me.”

“Shaun…”

He looks at me. Then his face touches mine, a nuzzle, then a kiss. “I’m in it too, it won’t take a genius to put us together Raine even if it stopped right here. We’d be targets anyway.”

“In your room?” I need time to think about how to explain this, how to tell him.

“Okay…in my room after supper?” He’s hasn’t stopped nuzzling me and he still hasn’t stopped holding me. I have to tell him. Closing my eyes and feeling back into myself again. I never had this before…I mean I’ve never had this before in this life either but I mean before that, that other me…not just the my other lives but the other Evanescence I…I don’t think she had anyone…not like this, not like my Shaun.

It takes about an hour still to get back to the farm and Shaun’s with his dad doing stuff with the car into the garage. I’m tired but soon the rhythm of being in the kitchen is soothing me. Some of my lives weren’t domestic but Ko and Joanna were kitchen girls and soon I’m helping Shaun’s mom cooking and she’s just making stuff for hamburgers and just warming up chili from the freezer and I’m cutting fries and making biscuits for a kind of chili sloppy Joe. The burgers are just like I remember them, she fries mushrooms and onions until they’re brown and then tosses them into the burger which is their own beef and some venison hamburger mixed in with it and two egg yolks and lots of fresh ground black pepper and garlic salt. My mouth’s watering by the time we’re making everything plus a salad on the side. I’ve eaten tons of these as Shaun’s best friend but never thought I’d be making them here with his mom as his girlfriend.

We’re making refrigerator lemon pie when she asks me. “Raine, what happened today, I mean last night?”

I look at her and sigh a bit and start slicing the cucumber I had just peeled. “There was this rogue faerie creature called a Kelpie that was sent after a friend of ours we got involved but it turns out that the Kelpie was working or tied in with and old enemy of mine too.”

She actually sighs with relief? “Good I though it might have been more trouble from Atlanta.”

“Trouble? What trouble? Shaun never said anything about getting into trouble down there?”

She looks at me and almost at the same time says. “Old enemy? You’re too young to have and old enemy?”

Then we’re both looking at each other. It’s not scowling but more like a …not more shit… expressions on both our faces.

“Raine, what’s going on?” I look at her and it’s her house, I’m dating her son…I take a drink of the lemonade we’re drinking. I almost say something but…Jill’s staying here and even if Jill’s not watching her brother the agency might be, heck they might be even watching her. I walk over and touch her channeling.

~Can you hear me?~

~Yes?~

~Good, I don’t want us overheard.~

~What? Why?~

~Jill, she works for a government agency.~

~She is? How do you know?~

~She tried a recruiting pitch with me and with Shaun.~

~She What?!~ I get flashes of her and other hippy picketing with Shaun’s dad.

~Easy Mandy, Jill’s sort of one of the good guys. I trust her more than the ones she works for that’s why we’re talking this way.~

~Father and the Mother, I thought her joining the forces was trial enough and now she’s a fed?~

~SDA, Supernatural Defense Agency actually and I’m not really sure what they are Mandy, but I know that Jill’s on the up and up, you raised a hell of a girl…~

I step back a minute getting choked up with Heaven’s memories of the tough yet sweet military girl who saved her life…made her/me believe in love…I’m gone…dead…I’ll never have that…Mandy, Mrs. Quinn reaches out to touch my arm.

“Raine, what’s wrong?” She looks concerned. I try to pull it together and the others are helping inside as part of me is crumbing. I take a big breath. “It’s just stress Mrs. Quinn I’ll be okay.” I take another breath and reach out to her with my power.

~It’s okay, like I said I trust Jill just not any agency that mind scans their operatives.~

That doesn’t improve her feelings of Jill working for “The Man”. There’s a mental sigh and she nods to me. ~Okay, we’ll talk about that later, now about you? And you having old enemies.~

~Okay…You’re Wicca right?~

~Yes, I’ve been practicing Wicca since I was twelve.~

~And your Aunt Lydia brought you to her farm and brought you into her coven just before you got your period.~

I feel her stunned then she’s staring at me as I nod and to her I morph through my different lives, and there’s tears there. And SHE’s there now stirring the chili. Mandy’s eyes blink before going huge as she just suddenly knows who SHE is. She drops to a bow before HER breaking contact. I step back smiling. I kind of know what’s coming.

“Oh Good Greif…Amanda Lynn Huntington would you not do that, you’re making my back hurt just watching you. Besides I’m not into those kind of things.”

Mandy gets up and looks around and the wind blowing the curtains is frozen and so are the birds outside and everything. Time’s stopped here, I sip my lemonade. Then quip. “Well Sometimes YOU”RE into having a girl on her knees before you.”

Mandy turns and stares at me like I lost my mind talking to HER like that.

SHE sticks her tongue out at me.

Mandy stares at HER like did The GODDESS just give someone a raspberry?

She sways and both me and HER reach her and ease her into a chair at the kitchen table. I sit with her. She stares at me. “You’re…You’re…not real…That’s just an old legend of what was possible. The Evanescence lore’s just one of those keep reaching stories.”

I rub her hands. “I’m afraid not. I’m real, sometimes I wish it wasn’t me but…what can you do right?”

“But…how…why?”

“How it’s actually pretty simple, I was born to it. They didn’t ever think to wipe out the male side of my bloodlines or rather the bloodlines of the first Evanescence. I guess they thought we all just pop out of thin air.”

“Why? Though, why would you come back now?”

“Asmodeus…I fought him the first time a long time ago and locked him in hell and he’s been trying to get out ever since. I think he’s closer than he’s ever been so The Balance tipped and the scales dumped this on me.”

SHE says. “I’ve been wondering if this was what brought you back.”

Mandy looks at HER. “Uhm excuse me but you didn’t know? I thought that you’d know well everything.”

SHE smiles. “I know a lot of things, I know likely more than most beings like me but what beings like Asmodeus do are hidden from me and others. I usually reflect my followers, my children so there’s stuff I’ve got to reach back for. Raine’s the Evanescence and she’s technically only part wiccan, there was the bloodlines of all kinds of women with power gathered to created her, Wicca was just part of it.”

“I thought you’d have all the answers…”

“Sorry, what’d be the point of that really. If I knew everything then I’d be The One and not me someone else would be me.”

“Oh…….Asmodeus…that’s bad right?”

SHE nods. “Very he’s one of the Princes of Hell.”

“I thought he was one of the nine kings of hell?”

“Lucifer is the Only King of Hell.”

“So he want’s out to?”

“He want’s out to finish what he and his master started to obliterate life on earth and the other realms to show the “One God.” that he erred in the creation of all the other beings out there.”

“Other beings?” Her and I both ask.

“The Elde. Back before the faith in modern God came to this world even before the other gods there was a time when majik and the powers of creation ran like spring rivers through the leylines. These connected the prime world to other realms where these ley lines met and the energy made doorways or tunnels through reality. The existed alongside early man for a long time. But when Lucipher sought to destroy mankind he was going to destroy earth as well and if you destroy one earth you destroy them all. So they joined forces with others to put him down and bind him as deep into hell as we could.”

I Look at HER. “So he wants to destroy it all?”

SHE shakes her head. “No he want’s Hell on earth so he can wage war on Heaven, he want’s to be God.”

Mandy’s shaking her head looking stunned. “But what does that mean with the other faiths? We’re not part of that whole Heaven and Hell thing.”

“And we weren’t part of the other religions either but it’s never stopped any of them from becoming real. It’s not a matter of choices, now it’s becoming a matter of survival again.”

I look at HER. “So why would the fae be working with Asmodeus then?”

“There were fae that joined Lucifer to become free of the will of the fae rulership, these became some of the worst of the worst demons and devils.”

I nod. “Okay that makes sense but what about Alecia and Michel?”

“Alecia broke free of the Beast’s call, the thing that feeds from all of it’s vampire minions. If Michel’s changed sides giving over what’s left of his soul to Asmodeus he might be seeking a way in that to break Asmodeus out of his prison.”
“So he’s likely just as rogue as Shea was.”

“Most likely and he’s likely going to not stop trying for her if that’s the case.”

“Uh-huh…” I’m so going to need to talk to Alecia about this. I look over to Mandy and rub her shoulder. “You okay with all of this?”

“I’m going to have to be right? You certainly have an enemy and more Raine. I’ll help as best I can.”

“Thanks, I think I’m going to need it.”

“Well it seems that Shaun’s not alone at least.”

“You were going to tell me about that what happened with him and down in Atlanta.”

SHE set’s down a pot of tea and all the fixings and pours for us. Mandy sips as I do too and it’s really good. I feel soothed immediately and we three just let out a sigh. She takes another sip and looks at us.

“Shaun started sparking so we sent him to his grand-dads place where he could get a hold of his majik. When he was there he did good until he got hooked up with this girl. Nicole, she was a siren and she strung him along using him and his artifice to break into places to set her musical career up and to do stuff for her brother and his crowd that were some kind of high society gang of kids with majik who pretty much ruled Atlanta’s scene and when she was using stuff he made to start to mess with people he tried to stop them and it became this whole thing that nearly got him killed. It got several of those kids killed in the whole thing and we’ve been looking for trouble to come looking for him ever since. I’m from down there and people like the Stone family, The Hennessey’s, The Thrasher’s they all aren’t just going to let sleeping dogs lie.”

I nod and then rub her hand. “Mandy… Sug, this is the north. Any of them southern good ole boys come up here and we’ll give them a good whupping.” Joanna’s coming through and we smile at each other and laugh. She knows now where it’s coming from and we hug. SHE Hugs Mandy tightly. “I’ll not be a stranger daughter, you’ve raised good children and are a good child yourself.”

Then she was gone as the guys are tramping inside. Mrs. Quinn’s blinking and yes I know I keep jumping back and forth between her name and her married stuff but I find myself calling her by her first name when I’m in Evanescence mode and as just Raine though I can’t help but to keep calling her Mrs. Quinn until she tells me otherwise. I know schizophrenic isn’t it. Try living it.

The meal’s good and we listen to the guys talk about the car before his mom brings up Atlanta and she brings up Jill working for the SDA. Shaun nods and gets up saying he’ll be right back and leaves and comes back with three of those Bose wave stereo things and he plugs them in and holds his hand over the disc drive and pours mana into it. “There we’re safe from being overheard or them using scrying to watch us.” Part of me is interested, really interested but his dad and mom turn the topic back to Atlanta and then the whole thing with me being Who I am.

Part of this includes me showing them, by my mana touch those other selves. I’m not sure his dad gets it but there’s this look of…understanding in Shaun’s eyes of what he’s seen me go through already.

His parents shoo us off after supper saying they’ll clean up and I call mom and let her know I’m spending the night. Alecia had stayed at the trailer after dropping her off for supper and she was just going to lock up and bed down herself. I kiss her goodnight over the phone and head downstairs to Shaun’s bedroom and he walks me to the bed and he sort of falls in pulling me with him and holds me tightly.

It feels nice, better than nice as he kisses me. And I kiss him back and we slowly undress each other and even though we’ve been together already I’m still nervously biting my lips as I take off my bra and I’m flat out scared taking off my panties.

The kissing really helps, him telling me that I’m beautiful helps. The touch of his work rough hands on my soft skin is erotic to me. The way he feels and pays attention to my breast has me writhing and panting in a achy sort of desperate way. And the kissing…I think all of me loves the kissing…My Nordic amazon is scared but fascinated by his strong gentleness and when he goes down on me it’s so…I’m still trying to figure out how it makes me feel but it still shocks the others save for Heaven. The others love it, Viking me…it’s such a power-trip for her/me it takes it to a whole other place. For Joanna and Ko it’s less about the turn about being fair play and this time more about Shaun being intimate with me and showing me that “It” doesn’t matter to him.

I’m more than ready when he puts a condom on and lubes me up before entering me with his fingers of one hand and uses his talented mouth on my breasts. It hurts at first him sliding into me but that’s soon gone and we make love. It’s no marathon session, I have only one orgasm but it’s a good one a really good one and Shaun got there too and he even changed the sheets while I got cleaned up and slipped back into my panties.

I fall asleep with him straddling the small of my back sort of sitting on my butt and he was starting to give me a massage. You know how electricity makes muscles twitch? Now picture it controlled…his mana sinking into my muscles and using his power to perfectly massage me…and I mean perfectly…I fell asleep melting under his touch.

Evanescence 17.…Jill’s Story

Chapter 17

I’m on my second smoke and my third coffee out in front of the lobby as my guys start coming back in from doing a scan survey of town. It seems like a hundred years ago since I’ve been here, been home.

I look at Bishop. “Okay get everyone over to the Hotel and order some food we’ll go over things there. Bishop…Get Shaker to start drawing up the circles in the convention room.”

They salute and give me a bunch of “Yes bosses, Ma’am and Colonels.” I head back inside and seeing Raine leaving with my parents and brother and Alecia leaving with Raine’s mom. Alecia’s staring right back at me as much as I’m looking at her. I know her from somewhere I do.

I take another sip of my coffee and my watch vibrates. I look around moving with my coffee to my lips.

There slipping into the stairwell a goth looking nurse? Purple sheened black hair, make up and black scrubs…sure, like they’d let you come to work like that honey. I look at the meter. Shit she’s rating a three hundred and twenty. She’s not human. I wait until I know she’s away from the door. I hit my ear mike. “Everyone stop, I’ve got a three-two-O here that just waltzed in her and hit the stairwell. I need back up.” I slip on my combat gloves studded with little German iron crosses made of cold shaped iron and pure silver in layers and both blessed and spelled. I pull my .45 it’s got rounds in it similar to the studs and I slip into the stairwell. I stop and listen and…up...she/it went upstairs.

I follow slowly sideways hugging the wall foot over foot. Holding my .45 in a double handed grip.

She’s knelt by the third floor door of the stairwell kneeling and sniffing. It’s not a human sound of smelling either. I move into position and she turns and stares at me quick, really quickly…her eyes are this solid deep sepia purple without any pupils and her teeth are all sharp and pointed, same with her ears and there’s black dark claws on her fingertips and her weird goth hair and pale skin just might be natural.

“Don’t move, if you know what’s good for you fae.”

She snarls and comes at me and I shoot and the girl I hit turns into a splash of water. I feel her to my twelve coming at me from right above me too fast for me to shoot. I move getting barely out of the way as she tears my suit jacket with her claws.

My instant reaction is a fast backhand, my hand connects with something and I hear a hiss of the metals striking skin. I follow it up with a gun punch with the other hand knocking her off kilter and she lashes out with claws that I block and use the studs to scrape across her limbs and we go at it back and forth for about two minutes before I hear the multiple clicks of guns being cocked and aimed at her. I step back panting but do a quick inhale and point my piece at her.

“You picked the wrong girl on the wrong day honey.”

She leans against the wall and laughs at us and starts to reach inside her scrub pockets.

“Easy? Slowly…” She takes out a pack of smokes and a lighter pulls one out and lights it up then she pulls out a black glass badge of a glass chain from around her neck. She gives us a sharp pointy toothed smile as she exhales the smoke in my face.

“You back off mortal, I’m her on behalf of The Morrigan.” She tosses me back my smokes and my lighter then she morphs back to her mortal look.

Great, just effing great that’s all I need. “And you’re here why?”

“The Whip has heard unsightly rumors of there being Dark Fae in this hamlet amongst the missing but that’s only secondary to me retrieving Shea.”

“Shea’s been impounded.”

“Un-do that, it means nothing.”

“Tell that to my bosses then.”

“I have a writ.”

“Produce it then.”

She glares at me. I take out my own cigarette and light it by taking the smoke out of her mouth and lighting mine off the heater (slang for cig ember.) there’s this intense look between us. Yeah…try and act all big and bad. I’ve seen worse. She passes me this little rolled up two inch wide scroll. I take it and pass it to Mitch. He closes his hand around the thing and does his psychic thing. “It’s good commander.”

“Good.” I look at her. “So, with Shea not being here what are you actually doing here?”

“Tracking.”

“Cute, stoic but cute. What are you tracking?”

“Fae business snack meat.”

“SDA business actually. I honestly wouldn’t care if you were the black bitch herself. This is my world and you don’t play ball there’s a really big mountain full of cells with wrought iron bars you can visit for a few centuries.” Her eyes shifted to fae dark again and pissed off.

“I’m tracking Shea’s foci.”

“What is it?”

“It’s an ancient tool used by cultures that existed long before you monkeys slank out of the trees and started fucking in caves. It’s used to con-cen-trate Ma-jik like a lay-ser.”

I’m not a real fan of her talking to me like I’m slow. I’m not a fan of the dark fae as a general rule. In the great school of life the light fae are the jocks and the rich kids and the cheerleaders, the dark fae are the cruel assed bullies that stomp on you for fun then bitch about scraping off their shoes.

“I know what a foci is sugar-brain, I meant what it is?”

She looks at me, then the rest of us. Yeah you’re not going anywhere without us now. I’m not letting a three hundred plus just waltz around unescorted if I can help it.

“It’s his Shileigh.”

“Okay then, that’s better. Let’s go find this thing.”

She gives me this peel paint look but moves past me and back to where she was and starts literally sniffing around.

We end up heading into another stairwell and back down to the main floor. One of the guys met us there and gave me my flight jacket and we followed the fae to a garbage can where she pulled out this old but ornate gnarled but worn smooth walking stick. She sniffed it and pulled back making a hissing face and sound.

“What?”

“Demon….”

“A demon? Here?”

“No, Demon power, energy was here, very strong, thick…sour…”

“Was here?”

“Yes. It was here but it left.”

“Can you track it?”

“Yes….”

“Will You?”

She looked at me, sharp teeth sort of chewing on her lip. She closed her eyes and opened the human looking again. “Alright, but I’m not doing this for you. This is something I have to investigate for The Morrigan.”

“Fine by me. Let’s go.”

It was slow going with her walking. The fae almost never will go inside a vehicle. One they’re too cage like and two there’s just too much iron in the steel of them it makes most of them pretty sick. I don’t need a sick fae; it’ll mess with their powers.

I use the time to my advantage and call it in. The guys I have plus a possible clean up team, a couple of paladins (Military chaplains with both combat experience and contact with the enemy.) It takes a few hours of seemingly randomly going through some of the worst and crappiest neighborhoods here in my hometown.

This recession thing has turned a good third of the town I remember into a goddamned slum. There’s stuff in just so much I don’t give a shit disrepair and shops closed and places boarded up and I see people I knew and went to school with here and there looking like their out of work or out of hope or both. We used to have three plants here Mack truck, John Deer a bottling plant for General Foods all of them closed up the jobs gone or moved. Most of the good stuff the malls and stuff that people go too is all out by the highway, the older general neighborhoods and in town stores mostly gone because of the Wall-Mart and Cost Co. effects. The old money neighborhoods aren’t affected because they weren’t affected like everyone else, they took hits sure…but the effect is really shitty. I fought, bled and killed for my country to come back to this?

We’re getting looks with the escalades around and patrolling around looking for signs as we’re following the dark fae. I’m more than sickened by how many drug houses there are and that we’re going to. There seems to be though not that many junkies flopped out her. I’ve been in a few of these places on raids and they’re not this empty.

There’s spray painted hell signs around though. Glyphs of darkness and things that represent evil things…none have power in them but it’s chilling to see a ward thing that stands for rape or incest or other stuff like that…charged up it’d shed those meaning like light from a fucked up light bulb.

They’re all in lime green spray paint and there’s crude depictions of an angel too. And in Latin crudely written “The angel with the green eyes…the serpent is the angel.”

It’s just getting dark when we hit the nest. It’s an old condemned building out near what was the industrial park. The fae hisses and she shifts even more her skin changing now kissed by purple almost floral fish scales…she actually got more beautiful if in an alien kind of way. If you’ve ever gotten a thing for a sci-fi character on screen who wasn’t human you know what I mean. I actually don’t like that…she’s dark fae, that’s all part of her beguiling bullshit.

I give Mary a hand sign and she nods from the back of the escalade and there’s this static pop in our heads for a second like your ears are popping without them popping. ~Boss, We’re linked~

~Thanks Mother Mary, let’s play this by the numbers people. Keep out of the way of the faeling and watch out for nasty surprises everyone.~

Mary Sommers is a rare find a hive mind telepath. We got her out of a crazy house because she kept hearing voices. She don’t read minds and can only link to someone willingly but most telepaths are vulnerable to surface thoughts. Mary is very powerful and was receiving enough it drove her nearly insane. We use her because when she opens up she can link close to forty people in a two mile area. All we have to do is picture who we want to think to.

I’m almost scared if some governments kept such people for military ops. We try to squash that and get those people into our organization.

We moved in and the place was packed and covered in the hell-signs and graffiti in nasty dead languages. Live ones too, giving me this nasty case of the squicks. I feel it effecting others, Mary tries to pull us together, hold our shit together as a group.

There must be close to three or four dozen people here. A crude altar is set up and there’s this charnel smell as they’ve been sacrificing strays around and probably a few local pets are well. There’s metal of some kind being played and they’re mosh dancing, fucking, eating the rotting and dead animals and rubbing the blood and entrails over their bodies. Whatever their eyes were they all are shimmering green.

The fae taps my arm and points to this skeevy looking junkie dancing with four girls, I went to school with two of them. He’s got this glowing emerald on a chain in one hand and he’s touching their foreheads with the thing and there a bit of light that sinks into them and I can see a little bit of silver light leave them and go into the stone and some into him through his fingers. They look like they’re in pure bliss…rocking this orgasm I can almost feel too. The whole place has this heady sexually charged feel to it that’s sinking in…I want…I shake off the feeling.

He turns and looks right at me.

We all hear the smashing of glass in our heads. Jerry Cannon, Brian Norris, Andrew Fontaine getting beaten and bludgeoned and stabbed to death outside with the vehicles…Then the wedge end of a tire iron get violently shoved through Mary’s head…

We all feel her death scream in our minds.

“Fucking get them, babies, fucking get them all. They want to stop us, stop our heaven.”

That’s the guy with the gem and his voice is boosted but almost laconic, nonchalant.

The other’s go nuts and come at us like they’re insane…and on drugs. I open fire, going for him while I have the shot and Brenda Lee on of the women, on of the ones I went to school with walks in front of my shot this human shield…smiling.

Then I’m fighting for my life. They’re demon energy touched infested, infected so where I hit the skin blisters and burns but there’s too many, all of them nuts and PCP strong. We’re getting chewed up with these people, things…It’s like getting attacked by those Reaver things out of that show Firefly.

I don’t have any choice but to shoot them. I whip out glass balls filled with holy water but from the river Jordan and strongly blessed. I run out of those fast and I pull out my snap blades.

Yeah blades, I have to fight for my life here. Built like a security baton but of the agencies own metal called silver carbide? No idea how it’s made but don’t care. The ends are weighted inside to help with the force of my swings and they’re razor sharp, it’s kind of like using pop out rapier blades with no guards on them.

I hate shit like this. These people are victims, and as I take one out after another I can see the flare of green go out of their eyes and it takes everything in them with them…Do you know how hard it is to kill someone and know because of whatever they did you’re condemning them to be literally consumed…Their death cries have that final realization of that death…true death, souls destroyed.

If I don’t kill then they’ll kill me, us. They’re so juiced up on demon power they don’t really stop when you take chunks off of them. Even as good as we are I’m losing people and we’re boxed in.
The fae is like a wild thing unleashed, water doubles messing with her foes, she’s tearing them to parts her claws grown out to three inch blades. Nixie…I’m pretty sure she’s a Nixie…dangerous…lethal by what I’m seeing.

The guy does something and the gem flares in his hand and there’s this feeling washing over the place. Things start flying at us, junk, sharp bit’s of glass, metal and anything that can hurt us.

I drop three more people when he points at me and I’m assailed by a few flying wooden palates and then some cement cinder blocks. I dodge the palates…ducking one, rolling over another, I take a cinder block to the ribs and about a half dozen more come at me and Then I’m soaked?

I’m soaked an standing where the Nixie was and she gets hit by the fusillade of cement blocks. They crash into her shattering in a cloud of dust and pebbles, She steps out of the dirty cloud with this Keening scream at him and shaking off the dirt and dust and cement bits like she got pelted with snowballs.

She saved my bacon. Don’t you hate it when someone you’re pretty sure you don’t like turns out not to suck so much?

She runs right at him and his minions are trying to get in her way. I run out in front of her like I’m protecting the guy with the ball trying for a touchdown. I get as close as I can before ten of them swamp me trying for a wall of freak between him and us.

I feel a foot catch my back pocket like a foothold the another on my shoulder as she goes up and over with another Keening primal war scream and comes down right on him.

I lose her after that as I’m getting punches, kicked, stabbed and beaten…they start ripping at my clothes and I’m trying to cut but I lose my blades, I punch, kick hitting at killshot martial points if I can get them but some of those don’t work…

Then there’s this ….this…
I’m Hallucinating…
I have to be…!

Heaven…Molly…My Molly…she’s there in the chaos for a second…? Forever? And she’s dead and gone…OD’d while I was in my basic training for the agency…I feel her Kiss me…I feel her kiss me…

~Goodbye Jill…I loved you, I still love you…never lose that, never forget that…I didn’t want to leave you…I never wanted to die…You…It was you Jill, You saved my soul…~

She fades and there’s another voice… Raine’s…I see her kneeling, on her hands and knees in one of Shaun’s tee-shirts. I can see through her, but she’s looking at me, looking around and she extends her hand at me palm out wards and there’s a wave of wind? It blasts some of them off of me and I see her look around as I’m scrambling to my feet and with a gesture like she snatched something up and threw it at me two of the guns from one of my downed agents fly to my hands like she used the force.

I’m not stupid or foolish to not use this. I open fire at the things around me, taking out some of the ones on top my team, turning the tide of the battle with the infected ones.

I hear the Nixie scream as the guy’s punching her with the stone and the chain wrapped around his hand. She’s got him sliced up like sushi but he’s healing his cuts glowing green and scarring up. I can see green lines of power pouring from the rock into his veins and he’s getting bigger, five ten to six ten in a minute…slapped on about two hundred ponds of twisted muscle as he’s literally losing his humanity…lost his humanity, my watch registers him at six hundred and rising…

He choke slams the nixie into the concrete floor and repeatedly bashes her head into the floor making it shake, cracking the cement…I open fire as he stands and smiles at us. The remaining members of my team that can fight, fire on him with everything we’ve got…

There’s that sick green shimmer in his skin now and something coming off him like a heat shimmer…the bullets hit it and just vanish.

He cracks his neck one way than another and the sound keeps going down his spine as bone blades pop out his skin, his hair turns thicker and become these dreadlocks made of white hair and beaded with what looks like finger bones. His skin ashes out whitening, he grins at me and comes at me with a push off with one foot like he’s skating…so powerful the concrete floor gravels under the pressure and he’s not running so much as pushing himself at me like a car with the pedal stomped to the floor. He’s a demon, a real on earth manifested demon not some skin suit…we’re so fucked.

Every round I fire does squat.

He swings at me and there’s this flicker of light.

Raine’s there.

Not see through but really there, in a way too big tee-shirt and panties and she gets in between me and the demon.

She swings too screaming like in some fucked up stereo and my watch blows off my wrist and she catches that fist coming at my in her hand. There’s a whump of shockwave force that send me flying like a concussion grenade went off.

Then there’s this scream from the demon as the catch she caught has the chain and the rock still wrapped around it. I hear her say

“No.”

I swear she sounded like Heaven…Like Molly…

She crushed his fist, the gem and the chain as she says that and it’s screaming inhumanly so and she steps back ripping the stone, chain and several fingers off completely from him and her hand flares as she staggers back and she’s chanting something in Creole?

Silvery mote of light and soul energy are rushing from the stone and her hand and swirling around her in a storm.

There’d the war scream of the Nixie, covered in her own blood and I see her land on his back one of my blades in her hand burning herself but ignoring it. She flips off his back as he tries to snatch here off and she lands a balance beam dismount in front of him and takes his head off with a two handed swing.

Raine points the gem to the sky as the demon falls and there’s a beam of light and soul energy that comes off of her five-six feet wide blowing through the roof and into the night sky…she’s gone…?

It’s suddenly so quiet…

Then the people infected that aren’t dead start moaning, freaking out falling, getting sick.

I hear the sound of our back up getting here by car, truck and choppers arriving plus the sound of sirens.

I hear the Nixie drop my blade and stagger away from the demon’s body that’s turning to stone…she staggers towards me, downshifting and staggers and falls, reflexes kick in and I catch her and she drools a little blood on me. She’s digging her fingers in a little tightly and leans on me.

“What…what in the eight realms just happened?…was that a goddess?”

“I don’t know? Honestly I don’t know?”

I look at her and she’s woozy, I can feel her body shaking involuntarily in my arms things just twitching…blinking like she’s concussed. “Hey you going to be okay?”

“Sloan…My name is Sloan…” and she passes out in my arms.

I stare at her and pick her up the rest of the way into my arms. I can’t help it. She trusts me in a way that’s really big….really big…She didn’t say they call me Sloan…she said her name is Sloan. That’s a big thing with the Faerie.

I hold her as people start coming in and some other agents…Dragon and Wyvern both are here…

I wait for them to get to me and I look at Sloan but I can’t get Heaven…Molly out of my head…

My head hurts worse than my body and my heart ten times worse than that. I’m crying by the time the guys are there as things start to hit me…Molly…all those people we had to take down.

I’m only vaguely aware of them getting me to one of the escalades and putting me in the back. Sloan’s in another one with one of our mages keeping the metal from hurting her further.

That’s when there’s the thing that leaves me curling up in the backseat…just faintly turned down but just loud enough that I can hear…The radio in the truck is playing Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven.”

Evanescence 18

*Jill….

I fell asleep in the back of the escalade and woke when the Fire department’s red flashers showed through my eyelids. I hurt all over but I hurt inside too. Heaven…Molly…but Molly’s voice was coming out of Raine?

I think it was her.
I’m sure it was her.

So did Raine channel her? Was it necromancy? I’m not sure if it was, not with the release of all those souls or spirits. So did Molly come to me through Raine to save me?

“Oh God.….”

I curl a little tighter around my guts for a moment until the hurt passes. You’ve ever feel sick where you’re upset about something. Molly…Molly was the love of my life. It feels like someone’s ripping my insides out from missing her and losing her again. I just want to curl in a ball somewhere and hide.

Too much heavy shit went down tonight. I swore oaths, made promises…I have to report in but what will that mean? What will that mean for Raine, what will it mean for Molly…?

I punch the back of the bucket seats in the escalade, five, six, a dozen times I hate hurting like this, I hate fucking being helpless…feeling helpless.

“I think they killed the cow a while back there Agent.” I turn to see Sloan up and walking she looks like hell but she’s up. She passes me a cup of coffee with this disgusted look on her face.

“Don’t like coffee?”

“You kidding I’m a nurse and a Dark fae, I practically live off the stuff.” She’s got a bottle of orange juice though in her hand.

“Then why the expression?”

“You human’s and you’re fucking plastic and styrofoam.”

“Oh, getting the OJ now, the only thing they had in glass?”

“No, they had milk and Yoo-hoo but I’m allergic to milk.”

“Really, I never knew Nixies to be vulnerable to milk or cattle stuff?”

“I’m not dipshit, I’m allergic. You human’s you just still get off on all these tangents about us anytime we say something you think it’s part of the lore.”

“Sorry, thanks for the coffee. And for saving my butt back there.”

Sloan shrugs and leans against the car door, it looks really uncomfortable. Cold Wrought Iron will kill a fae, but any kind of ferric alloy, hurts or bother’s them. The further away from just plain iron the less it hurts them but they are almost all allergic to synthetics, or just plain hate them.

So she’s leaning against the open door of my truck instead of just standing. It’s her trying to be human…?......why?

“Hey you looked like you could really, really use the coffee and…”

“And what?”

“And you looked like you needed to get out of your head. You were pretty messed up there.”

“Yeah, I still am….”

“Yeah, I noticed it got something to do with that off the charts mage that saved all of our asses?”

“It might, I don’t know…I thought…”

“There was some part of her there with whatever she was doing that knew you.”

“Yes…but she’s dead.”

I hate it, I hate it but the damned tears are there again. Sloan get’s this look on her face and she gets up into the back of the escalade with me and the next thing I know she’s slipped her arm around me and she’s giving me a hug?

“What are you doing? Why are you doing this? What’s your angl…”

Sloan cuts me off from talking by covering my mouth with her hand, there’s a mix of hurt and angry there in her eyes. “No bullshit Jill, no games, no agenda, I’m not looking for anything I just get it. I get it because I’ve lost a good share of people that I’ve loved over the years too and I’ve had my heartbroken too.”

“But why would this even matter to you?”

“Common “Human” compassion and decency aren’t limited to humanity Jill.”

God she’s staring at me with this intense deep dark stare that is actually open…open enough that there’s just a lot of hurt and damage in her and she’s letting me see that in her.

“Sloan, why are you putting yourself out there with me? This makes you vulnerable?”

“Because you know my name?”

“Yeah well that and all of this.”

“Like being decent to you, look I passed out, hit the wall and there’s a lot of talk, a lot of paranoia and stuff about you humans. I was out of commission until my powers started to kick in and when I woke up I wasn’t under arrest, I was in chains or a cage I was in the back seat of that truck over there and it was spelled for my comfort.”

“I wouldn’t let anyone mess with you Sloan, not after tonight.”

“Yeah and that’s just it, you did. And I wake up and I feel you hurting and you’re upset and I’m not locked up for the good of humanity…that’s kind of a big thing Jill, or it is to me.”

“But you getting seen being chummy with me might land you in hot water.”

“I’m not worried Jill I’m not a tea bag. Look I know the kind of stand up woman you are. You’ve got a reputation y’know on my side of things and I heard some good things and a lot of bad things from people that hearing them call you the lowest of the low is actually a good mark of character.”

“But I get read.”

“Fine, it’s just one of my names, I have a lot of them.”

“But…”

“Jill?”

“Yeah…?”

“You have a nice butt.”

She said, what? And then her hand slides out and the backs of her fingers caress over my right cheek and she takes that hand to cup my chin, my face and to gently draws me into a kiss.

Oh…well…oh…

There’s girl on girl kissing and being a lesbian I’m really, really into that but to actually get kissed by a girl who’s been kissing girls for how long…without being in love with someone that is to date the best kiss of my life.

Sloan breaks the kiss and stares right into me. “Are you done freaking out yet?”

“Uhm…yeah…”

“Good.”

Sloan rests her forehead against mine and she just holds me, she holds me and she let’s in be alright…it’s like she said about not just humans have a take on common decency. She even shifted her eyes or the did on their own and I’m looking into those dark pools and I’m not wigged or creeped out if anything I still see the compassion there, the feelings. It starts slow the tears running down my face and then I just sort of degenerated into this bawling, crying girl burying my face into Sloan’s shoulder as I cry.

*Alecia…………

By the time everything’s settled down with Jill’s goons and the Feds and the cops I head back to the hospital to pick up Donna and drive her home. I brought her a change of clothes and she smiles when she sees me come in.

I smile back at her. “You do know I’m a vampyre right? You’re not supposed to be happy to see me.”

“Oh please Alecia; you’re Goddess blessed or something, a daywalker now you’re practically Angel”

“Oh Gods no, not that bloody show.”

“Oh I suppose you hate the idea of the Slayers and all of that.”

“Oh there are slayers, just not the magical ones those are Hunters and they don’t have to be virgins or some thing like that and they don’t have to just be girls either. No, I hate the show because of the damned vampires.”

“The vampires?”

“Do you have any Idea at the number of little newly minted fangs out there are running around in trench coats trying to look like some David Bowie rejects and talking in really bad accents? It’s as bad as the other idiots going around saying Sookae…”

I’m only partially kidding but Donna bursts out laughing. She’s still laughing as she get’s dressed. I can see a lot of resemblance between her and Raine though I suspect Raine’s differences are from the essences that are part of her. Donna’s in great shape though for a human.

We get out of there finally and I get her into my rental and I drive her home. I walk her to the door. She looks at me and she smiles. “Seriously Alecia, thank you; you saved my life.”

“Well, Shea was involved so I kind of put you in danger in the first place.”

“But you still saved my life. You have to go back to work tonight?”

“No but soon, I’d like to keep my job and besides there’s people in there that need me.”

“Got time for a coffee then.”

“Sure, the last time I enjoyed a good cup of coffee they were still off loading it by slaves from the boats.”

“Well, I never said a cooed cup of coffee.”

“That’s true, can I come in?”

“I formally invite you to my home.”

I feel that tingle but it means something else now? There’s going to be a learning curve with the new me I think.

I go inside and we head down the hall to the kitchenette and dining room and Donna makes us coffee, it’s Maxwell House and it’s the same stuff we pretty much make at work that I never get to drink. She digs out some chocolate brownies too that smell really good and I have one with my coffee it’s really, really good the last time I had chocolate not tainted by bloody flavoring I wasn’t a vampire. I make some faces and moan my way through a Foodgasm or two and Donna smiling at me as she’s having a coffee and looking at me.

“What?”

“You’ve got some icing on your face.”

“Where?” I try to wipe it off never thinking that I can actually use a mirror but also I really should have seen this coming.

“No, here I’ll get it.” And she slid up to me and she leaned down because Donna has a good six inches on me and she kisses me.

Now the only girls I’m kissed are my mother god rest her soul and a few but not many female prey back in the day. But this was the first person to honestly kiss me…ever…and she tasted like coffee and chocolate icing…

And combine all of that with her being tall, with really nice tanned skin, short but dark hair, blue eyes and a really nice body…I never noticed it that way before but she has this girl…I lift weights and I box kind of thing and….

It’s the first, human contact that I’ve had, and it’s good. I mean I’m technically a T-girl like Raine but where she’s into Shaun and therefore into guys me…? I feel my heart hammering, my nipples get so hard in the best of ways…and I ache for her in a way that I’ve never known.

Donna kissingly leads me into the living room and lets her dress fall into a pool on the floor and I can’t help but run my hands over the perfect contradiction that she is. Hard muscles and great shoulders blending into nice legs and a sexy wide hips, soft skin and ample, real breasts…mature and still beautiful. I even like the little bits of imperfections, the muffin top… all of it.

She slowly peels me out of my clothes as we kiss and kiss and kiss on her couch and she
Teaches me about real foreplay between to people, two real people and I cum hard for her…I’m not sure that anything’s felt this good before… not even feeding.

Free will, no need to feed, no mental pushes from my sire to get it on…this...me and Donna….oh…oh…I’m a lesbian!

I end up riding her face with my legs and knees draped over Donna’s shoulders and my fingers running through her hair as she’s knelt between my legs teaching me about real sex…about real lovemaking and my hips arch a I cry out. “Oh Goddess!” When Donna’s experienced fingers take me over the edge again but gone deeper than deep and…she breaks my hymen.

*Raine…………..

I was dreaming…

Not a good dream.

One of Asmodeus’s freak demons coming after Jill and the others with her. Well she was after him but…It was still Jill…My Jill.

And it was like that, Molly…Heaven surged and she yanked us there.

It was so intense, it was like what happened with Rapture but totally different, there but still in bed, so much energy I ghost formed…became solid by ectoplasm alone.

I’m woken up out of it on the floor in Shaun’s room and it’s like I don’t want to move, I don’t want to even breathe right now but I force my eyes open. Shaun’s bed room is trashed and…

Ow…oh…fuck ow…my arm.

“Ow, ow, ow…” I kind of moan and cradle my arm and I’m in Shaun’s lap. I mean I don’t even think that he knows what happened and is he losing his shit? Freaking out? No, not my Shaun. Nope, he’s sitting on the floor with me pulled into his lap and just holding me.

Him doing this is so good right now. I think my arms broke and I can’t stop shaking. I think I’m.

“You’re in shock Raine just hold onto me. I’ve got you.”

He’s got me.

I start crying over that, because….
Jill…
Jill…
My Jill, but not my Jill, Molly’s Jill and ….

Jill was just like that, Just like Shaun…

He picks me up and carries me out of his room and upstairs and oh…oh…very good oh he holds me with one arm while he takes a quilt off the couch. I’m not a little chick, I’m fairly tall but I’ve got curves and well let’s just say I wear between and eight and a twelve in clothes… (I’m not tell my weight)… and there’s a flicker of his power as he makes the quilt fresh out of the dryer and smelling of bounce fabric softener. He put me into the old rocking chair wrapping me up in this warm quilt and so much more than that.

Just this…

This…Just this here him being there, loving and caring about me makes everything worth it. These little perfect treasures are so worth fighting for. It gets better as he Kisses me…and everything…yeah…

If someone kisses you like that, it gets a capitol K.

His fingers comb through my hair fixing the mess that it’s in and he wipes the tears from my face and eyes with his thumbs and I have the moment.

You know that moment of just intimacy so profound that you look at your partner and you see twenty, thirty, forty years later…that love still there then in that future moment just as perfect them as it is right now.

I just had that moment.

Shaun rubs my arms and my shoulders to get the feeling of normal back into myself. His mom comes in her robe blinking. She takes a look at me. “Goddess, what happened?”

“The stone, I forgot about that damned emerald…It’s a link…was a link to Asmodeus, some methe head…I don’t know who…him I couldn’t save…him. He drew on Asmodeus and he turned into a demon…he went after Jill…no, other way around. Jill ended up going after him.”

They both ask within moments of each other. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah, think so…nothing she hasn’t survived before.”

Shaun’s mother looks at him. “Should we take her to the hospital?”

He shakes his head. “No, I got this. Can you make us some tea Mom?”

She nods and sighs. “I’ll get us all some and some food too. Raine you’re looking positively grey around the edges.”

Shaun looks ay me with this I love you I’m pissed at you look. “Yes, she does, it’s too fucking much, too fucking soon.”

“Heyyyyyyy!” I protest. “I’m not getting anywhere near enough fucking.” I giggle. Shaun gives me this look. Y’know the one, that stare like you’re being retarded, you’re hurting my head.

He’s gentle with me though as he takes my arm and his power seeps into me. I can sort of feel it letting him see my arm like an x-ray. “The muscles are bruised and tore honey, and you fractured your entire hand. You got all this remotely?”

“Yuh-huh, like the cuts on my other arm. I got those when I tangled with Rapture…see!” I show him my battle scars. I feel really odd but in a good way?

“Okay, I’ve seen them honey, oh you’re really punchy.”

I punch him. “Punch buggy…” (snerk)

His Mum comes in with a mug of tea, I smell herbs and other goodies in there. Raspberry leaves, wild mint, rose hip, Meyer lemon slices with some bee pollen and honey stirred into it. Lemony-sweet-floral-grassy and sooo good.

Shane takes his and has a few sips and his mom comes back with this great mage snack, you learn to eat when you burn off power. These are sliced full rounds of apple with a round slice of pear and cream cheese holding them together with some honey mixed into it and some blue cheese and more on top with a slice of white cheddar.

Fruit, cheeses, honey…all great to boost up your blood sugar then level you off. I’m eating and staring at Shaun as he’s sipping his tea and eating one of these snacks but holding my hand and he’s got his power dancing through my flesh and bones as he’s telling my body to heal itself, faster… like he did with himself in the hospital.

I’m the one who’s usually doing the magic. I can’t remember anytime back then in my life, in my lives that I had this. Just watching him concentrating his magic inside of me, in communion…his hair loose and blonde messy because of us being in bed and…shirt off him just in track pants.

It’s just perfect, and as punchy as I am it’s making me weepy but in a good way. His eyes open and he stares out the window frowning. I feel, oooh, magic there, big time three cars.

His dad comes down all hippy farmer with a shotgun. “Government plates.” Shaun gets up and heads over to the window. I get up but I’m a bit woozy and wobbly Shaun comes over to me. “You stay down, you’re too messed up for this.”

“I’ll be okay…Lemme up.”

“No. Sit.”

“Arff.”

There’s a knock at the door, the front door not the side porch door everyone else uses. Shane opens the door and there’s three guys in black suits all Men in Black styled. One produces an ID. “NSA. Is Raine Mathews there, we need to speak to her.”

“This is about?” Shane asks.

“I’m afraid that’s a matter of national security.”

“Oh, then no.”

“No, I said no are you deaf?”

“Look kid, we need to talk to her. You wouldn’t want to end up it gitmo or worse right.”

The lights flickered in the house. Shane’s eyes get that light, like when he was mad at the hospital, shine eyes like Riddick from Pitch Black. “No, fuck off. You don’t get to do ask her fuck all until you stop playing games, I can feel…….” he stops talking but he’s looking at them leaning forward like he was smelling something, then he steeps back and powers down. The NSA guy moves to come in and bounces off of nothing. Shaun gives him this look, takes a sip of tea. “What do you want elf?”

He frowns and there’s a shift in the air. He still looks the same but smoother, more polished and the others too. The last of the three looks like a long white haired young man. He carries the arrogance though like…Like that Ra guy from the Stargate movie…kind of androgynously male? Oh he’s so sure he’s the shit, he tilts his head and the first two move out of his way.

“The Ashe wishes to speak with the girl.”

I can’t help myself, I go there. (Giggle.) “The who?”

“The Ashe.” I can’t help it, the giggles come out.

“The what?”

“The Ashe.” He’s getting exasperated, he’s not used to getting laughed at. I can’t hold in the giggles or the Snerk that comes out of me. Even Shaun’s looking at me.

“Raine…what the hell’s so funny?”

“The Ashe…(I’m still giggling.) that’s a tree right?”

“Yes but it’s also the leader of the light fae.”

The elf boss looks non-plussed. “The Ashe…” I snerk. I can’t hold it in.

“The Larch.” I say and burst into giggles.

Shaun looks confused, his dad thumps his forehead against the doorway. Then Shaun gets it. “Oh for fucks sakes Raine….”

The elf doesn’t look pleased, in fact he looks pissed. “oh…oh…crap…he’s going to get the comfy chair…” I’m giggling and Shaun feeds me another snack shoving it in my mouth and saying to them. “On moon and silver, bone and blood do you place yourself in peace bond with us?”

“We do.” The elf nods.

“So Mote It Be.”

They come in and look at me. I’m trying to look okay, trying to get the silly out of my system and my mouth’s overfull and I’m trying to keep the smile off my face.

I mean…Ash…Larch… how can I not have gone there. They’ve got all the funny of Spock though. I flash the live long and prosper at them. The boss just stares at me and one of the others, one though, the one who hasn’t talked yet looks to be really trying hard not to laugh, but his fingers slip into the position a second.

The leader young looking elf coughs.

“The Ashe…would like you to see him. You are the witch-sorceress that bested Shea”

“I had help.”

“What was it.”

“A friend a fellow magic wielder.”

“You will not say what? Why?”

“I protect my friends.”

He looks exasperated. “Fine, Come the Ashe will have questions of his own for you.”

Shaun says. “No.”

He rounds on Shaun chewing just chewing on anger. He doesn’t like me but he’s really not liking Shaun. He’s not used to hearing someone tell him no.

“You would insult the Ashe by refusing his hospitality?”

“I’d protect the woman I love from getting trapped or maneuvered by some archaic fae law and magic. No, she’s safe here. Tell him to come to see us.”

“You presume much mortal.”

“Yeah, take it or leave it.”

They guy up and stare each other down and the elf moves away. “If you’ll excuse us, I have some calls to make.”

The three of the walk out to the cars and start talking and Shaun’s watching them go all guard dog hackles raised looking so…

He looks at me then there’s this smile there as he looks back out to them. “Quick, quick fetch-ez le Ashe.”

Evanescence 19

Chapter 19

I was kinda surprised at Shaun’s sense of humor after he had it out with the three elves that had come calling. I liked that he was willing to play along with me while I was…am kind of loopy. It’s starting to get out of that I’m so tired I’m punchy and giggly to that I’m really overtired and I’m starting to feel a bit queasy.

And cold, it’s my feel first and then my arms and it’s that you know you’re a girl or heading into that whole girly realm when you get cold in the exact same ways as they do when your tired.

I shuffle over to Shaun and lean against him and he’s wonderfully warm. “Mmm…hot boyfriend…yay.”

He smiles and wraps an arm around me and walks me over to the couch and he takes one of the blankets at the foot of the couch and he does some of his own magic on it and its all lovely and hot right out of the dryer. I love it when he does this trick; he’s done it twice now. Still it’s such a nice little bit of special.

But Shaun’s what they call a Faraday, and that’s a mage that their powers are all revolving around or focused with electricity and/or technology. It’s odd because I’m for the most part Wiccan, with a little Voodoo Creole tossed in and some Thuoc Tay healing and most recently the element of air. Heaven/Molly was a Wicca as was my young Spanish self was a stitch mage or a thread mage and then there’s me…and I’m not sure what you’d call me that way. I guess that’s what the Evanescence is really the vessel.

It’s neat to see someone else do magic other than myself.

But it’s even nicer to have him love me and care for me that he wraps the blanket around me just so and he Kisses me with one of those capitol K…Kisses.

They’re out there awhile and I fall asleep and I wake up hearing this strange jingling of sorts on the wind like chimes or bells and my mouth’s dry and I’ve got a bit of a headache. You know when you should still be sleeping but you had to get up and your body is letting you know that it’s not happy.

Shaun is standing almost guard like looking out the picture window while I can smell his mom cooking up a storm. I can get that I mean it’s not exactly everyday that you get the ash to come to your house.

Shaun’s dad is in the dining room with boxes of things out and some weapons…you ever watch Buffy and those scenes where they’re arming up? It’s kind of like that. I know the fae are dangerous but…

Oh yeah…Shaun made a few “friends” while he was away…I’m really not liking where that’s going.

“Shaun, I think the Ash is on their way.”

“Yeah and maybe something else too Raine.”

“Huh?”

“Jill just showed up looking sorta on the job with her co-workers but she’s got one of the Dark fae with her I think.”

“She’s okay.”

“How do you know?”

“We fought together with the thing the guy that just had the stone.”

“Okay…huh the three elves are not friends of hers.”

“Oh…that’s a given.”

*** Jill’s part…

I’m so not used to this at all. I’m pretty much the top in most of the relationships that I’ve been in. It’s just been the way they go. I’m this tough military chic, one of the few women to make it through the Special Forces training and see action.

And in small town Middle America, the cheer squad captain, the prom queen she just can’t be a lezzy right? And then there’s DADT so I’ve kinda built this thick kind of layer that’s been me for a long while.

Molly broke through that fortress I built for myself and after she died I built it stronger and higher than before and then I joined the unit.

There’s been a few really nice women but it just never lasted.

But now I’m sitting here my face buried into Sloan’s neck and I’m crying. And she’s being just…she’s strong too in such a good way, I’m not used to another woman being so strong.

And shifted she smells like N’Orleans at night the sea and jasmine and magnolias and sex…just the hint of sex.

It might be just her or fae charms or just hurting but sexually she’s kind of making me really aware of her. I sniffle and pull back and look at her.

I deal with the others all the time but I’ve never been this “close” with one.

Sloan is a nixie, they’re sort of like a mermaid but not. Aquatic fae they’re known to charm people to be their lovers and slaves in their lakes and pools and ponds. They’re fresh water fae and still water fae.

She’s got these eyes that in here natural state are almond shaped and about fifty percent bigger than a humans would be. There’s a second clear eyelid I think and her eyes look like black pools, no white all iris and pupil but their not black they’re the deepest plum violet that I’ve ever seen. There’s something so special about those eyes too like looking into the eyes of a lion or a gryphon… yeah gryphons are real, really rare on this side of things but yeah real.

Skin that’s sort of like a drowned person buy more the color tone and tint to it more like the lightest hint of lavender…sorta blue, sorta green, sorta neither… I have this image of her naked that is just really messing with me.

Strong, sexy, exotic and fae in that sort of not human but human kinda lithe kind of way. Her pull on me is…

I can see why some people would fall hard for them. I can see why others would be so threatened they’d want to kill them off.

Especially as violent as Sloan can be and the fact she’s got sharp teeth when she needs them and claws on the ends of her fingers that can cut concrete.

She is looking me in the eyes and she kisses me and it makes my sex ache like a throbbing bruise.

“Dammit…Sloan…” I bite my lower lip. “Why can’t you just be the freaky bitch I thought you were?”

“Same reason that you didn’t clap me in cold steel chains and take me in.”

“I couldn’t do that, there’s treaties.”

“Happens all the time when humans think they won’t get caught.”

“Hey…we’re not all like that. There a real need for us to defend against the stuff that goes bump in the night.”

“So you’d shoot me for stumbling while I was on my way to your bathroom?”

“What…no…well I’d shoot anyone breaking…” She’s looking at me with this smile those eyes are sort of half lidded and the fangs and the pointed ears…I just got it, and I can’t help but blush.

I see her eyes widen and while I don’t see the whites there’s a light in them that picks up. She moves back and stares at her left palm and her blood seeps out of her palm and draws a tattoo of a thorned wreath framed mirror and there’s Elde runes forming on the surface of the tattoo mirror.

She’s reading and frowning and she gets agitated enough three spurs of black pearly shell form and slip out of her skin on her forearms like batman or more like those bad guys from that show with Kevin Sorbo on it…

Huh, fae comlink or something? That’s new Intel.

“Show me where the gate is forming?” she say’s it in Elvish but I’ve a passing knowledge of the great language.

I see a map forming and the topography is… “That’s my house, well my parents place.”

Sloan closes her hand and stares at me before shifting to her human state/disguise. “We should go, you should go there.”

“Why?”

“The Ash is going to arrive there shortly.”

“What!”

I pull myself together and shout out at the crew. “Units one through three you’re with me, the rest of you keep doing what you’re doing!” I look at Sloan as she gets into the escalade with me. “You sure that you want to come?”

“No…I have to go to meet the Ash and keep an eye on the light.”

“Right, yeah…” Great fae plots and politics are no less then some very old power struggles and I’m getting involved with this.

Sloan sighs as we’re pulling out fast and thumped her head against the head rest of the seat. I look over to her as we’re going and she’s got her eyes closed. “Sloan?”

She runs her fingers through her hair. “This is so not the way I wanted to meet your parents.”

*** Alecia’s part…

I wake up with this sort of a start that freaks me out.

Heartbeat…I’ve got a heartbeat…

Then there’s the fact I’m being held close by someone warm and alive and filling me with her body heat.

Then it all kind of comes snapping back into place.

Me and Donna.

Donna…

Everyone except Michel I’ve been with was the hunt, to kill and I’ve always been the aggressor and Michel doesn’t count because he sired me, he was a predator in a whole other, darker sense.

But Donna kissed me, wanted me, came onto me and I … “I’m a lesbian…”

She giggles into my collar bone area and she lifts her head to look at me. “Yeah, me too…”

There’s something gone there from her like there’s some weight taken off of her….oh…oh… “Donna?....is this you coming out?”

“I don’t know. I…I’ve had the feelings I guess all my life but you just don’t do the gay thing around here especially when I was sort of figuring it out and then by the time I think it started to click…I was married and had Raine…”

“But why me?”

“I like you…you’re different…yes I know that an understatement but it’s true…I know that you being who and what you are shouldn’t be why but…I guess all of that sorta made me feel safe around you.”

“Safe? Hello, Vampyre.”

“Maybe, sorta.”

She kisses me lightly like this is making her shy. I can literally taste the old hurt of pretending to be someone she wasn’t on her. Normally I’d taste it in the blood, but I tasted it with the kiss.

I try it again by kissing her and I can sort of taste the increase of relief and this electric sweet taste of ….of…how she feels about me?

So strange.

She’s right though, I have no clue to what I’ve become. There’s this thing this feeling inside that tells me…fangs…yes…claws…yes….

I’ve so many questions now.

“Yeah, maybe sorta.”

She kisses me again and we cuddle and just do that, our legs and pelvises finding comfortable spots to rest with each other and the feel of our bare stomachs touching and our breasts together and we kind of lose ourselves in it.

I lose myself in the feeling of just how much she lies me and the better this is going the better it feels and it’s like getting a peek at something wonderful each time we kiss and part of her guard drops just for me, just because of me and just by really liking her and caring and soon it doesn’t take long before we’re making Love…

This can’t be sex, sex isn’t like this right?

Not when you can feel the way my lips make her feel bubbly, sexy, edgy in a good goosebumpy way and free…

Raine…Raine I’m sorry but I’m really, really into her.

And I’m tired of being alone.

*** Raine’s part…

I’m sitting up when Jill comes inside and there’s this argument going on outside in some very strange language. I get up blinking as she comes running into the house. “Is everyone alright! What happened?”

Jill…

Oh fucking, fucking Goddammit…its Jill…

My Jill…

“He’s not here yet.”

She looks at me and then looks me over and walks over with a strange expression on her face. Worried, worried about me and caring and I’ve seen that before on her face and it really changes who she is…I remember that look when we first met.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll live.”

“That was you there somehow with the demon?”

“Yeah…”

“But how?”

“Magic.”

“I know that Raine.”

She has that kind of cute annoyed look. She does this thing with her tongue where she sticks it between her front upper teeth and her lip while her mouth’s closed that sort of squares her jaw. But she called me Raine…and I feel that swirling soul in my soul part of me that’s Molly get hurt…remembers…pulls back. And it’s so real with my own feelings because it is me it kind of feels like I’ve gotten punched in the heart.

I’m blinking back tears and she’s looking at me and I’m looking at her and then she turns and moves away and she heads outside and I know…I know that I saw tears there in her eyes.

I really feel like shit, like bawling some more and the tears just slip out when Shaun comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me blanket and all and holds me.

“You have no idea how much you rock right now Shaun.”

“That was… Intense…why?”

“Long story.”

“Okay, when you’re better then?”

“Yeah…”

There’s a frission of power and I and the others can hear the sound of chimes but not chimes, the sound of high music opening a gateway. I go with Shaun to the window and there’s no great thing to see just this oval of heat wave like distortion in the air but moving like continual ripples in a pond.

If there was a man that’s look to be someone called the Ash, the head of the light fae on this side of things then he’d be it. Tall six two, about two hundred pounds, grey hair in a stylish euro like pony tail…nice suit, beard and moustache together. Rich, powerful, smug.

I wasn’t expecting Shaun to say it. “Holy crap, its David Xanatos.”

Evanescence 20

Chapter 20

He walks to the house and up the normally unused front door/steps. You know most people don’t they use the side door to their homes, or the garage door. I feel the convocation of women of the other me’s in my head slow to a stop and watch him. Only my Hispanic girl is intrigued. The rest of me doesn’t trust him. He get’s to the door and stops, he examines the door almost like Alecia would.

He does that a few moments before pressing the doorbell.

Shaun goes to move but Jill beats him to the door.

He looks like she was not expecting her to be there.

“Agent?”

“Director.”

“So why is the SDA here?”

“It’s my house.”

He stared at her, then me, Shaun and his parents. “I never heard that you were a spell worker Quinn?”

“I’m not.”

“But your family….”

“Was why I was recruited?”

“Is she here?”

“Who?”

“The witch that killed Shea.”

“Yes.”

“I want to talk to her.”

“Your word?”

“You have it.”

“No…We Don’t…” That was Shaun, he’s still all charged up and agro.

“Mortal, watch your place. Do you know who I am?”

Shaun bristles and stalks forward, Jill put’s a hand up to keep him back. “…Shaun…”

Goddess, I’m tired, tired enough the punchiness has started to wear off. I get up from where I’ve been sitting and watching and wrap the quilt around me a bit more…you feel so cold as a girl when you get tired. I walk over to the door and kiss Shaun on the cheek. “I’d love something hot to drink honey.”

“Raine, he’s…”

“He’s the Ashe and a representative of the light fae here on the mortal earth. I’ll be okay love.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve got lots of back up if he tries anything right?”

“Damned Skippy.” He kisses me back then looks at the Ashe and does that two fingered point at his own eyes the points at the Ashe.

I can’t help but roll my eyes. I give Shaun a shove. “Go…damned Faradays, lighting and testosterone are a bad combination.”

I look at Jill and there’s this urge to kiss her too, she’s being my protector again. She doesn’t know it but she is, she’s just being Jill. I smile at her instead and the amount that part of me is missing her just seems so heavy now. It makes me feel more tired.

I do a pretty good imitation of an old lady walking over to him and outside into the front step and lean against the railing and look at him.

He’s handsome, suave and debonair and the human disguise is only a reflection of his true self. He’s staring at me too looking at me…and looking at me…drawing me in. It’s not magic it’s the weight of years, it’s like a personal gravity…powerful, enticing…

Too bad it’s not just me, but me and the others in my and several of them have problems with men in general…..fae or not. I let him stare right at me and push his ages over me trying to dominate me with that more than mortal thing.

He’s smiling right up until I yawn.

He looks like someone slapped him with a fish. His eyes went wide and there’s some bit of fear and anger and confusion. It doesn’t last long, he’s too old to lose his temper.

“Please, Lord….? I’m sorry I don’t know how to address an Ashe.”

“Aaah…Please Mr. Drake here in the mortal realms.”

“Mr. Drake…I’m Raine what can I do for you?”

“What you did to Shea, it made waves, scared people. Honestly some of those people need scaring but still no one’s been able to do majik of that caliber for a long, long time her on earth.”

“Oh well I had help.”

“You had help?”

“I was linked to…other spell casters.”

“Oh, I was under the impression that you did all of that yourself?”

“Sorry, I had help.”

He’s looking at me and I can feel him burning off mana like it was nothing and I pull myself together, my selves together and layer and tighten our aura’s together like growing a thicker metaphysical skin. His eyes have that thwarted look in them again.

“You’re an interesting woman Raine.”

“And at you’re age you should know it’s impolite to stare Mr. Drake.”

Shaun comes out and passes me a large mug of soup. I take it and warm my hands. I take a long slow sip. God his mom makes great soup. I lean on Shaun who’s decided to stay and I don’t care because her does that dryer fresh trick again to the blanket.

“Regardless if you had help or not you wielded great powers and have earned the wrath of the dark fae.” He head gestured to Jill’s odd friend. “Why else would one of the Morrigan’s better assassins be here?”

“She’s an ally, we fought together recently.”

“An Ally, so you’d ally yourself with the dark fae?”

“I’ll be allies with many people Mr. Drake, not a servant or an employee.”

“You’d do well to come work for me. Things could get uncomfortable.”

“They already are uncomfortable Mr. Drake, and veiled threats are beneath the light aren’t they?”

“Well, When on earth.” He’s sort of looking smug.

“Well when on Earth the Ashe should be more attentive when Asmodeus has been corrupting the fae and the vampire realms in order to re-ascend to the mortal world.”

“Who told you such nonsense.” His eye widened for a moment and he looks…no he’s humming almost with being that pissed, contained but pissed.

“First hand experience Mr. Drake, at least the Morrigan had sent someone into battle with me against his disciples.”

“You must still be mistaken miss.” He’s giving me the hard stare now. Yeah, uh-huh one man mortal or not isn’t going to intimidate this many women that I am. Sorry, that one of the prices of power. Pronoun hell.

“I’m not mistaken about the fallen of the emerald flame Mr. Drake. It’s hard to make that big of a mistake.” I stare right back at him as I sip my soup and Shaun wraps his arms around me. That feels nice to be able to lean on him.

“You are sure of this?”

“I am, I’m as sure as I am of Rapture having been returned to the pit.”

“I heard about that, I didn’t know you were involved.”

“First responder.”

He gives me this look. One of his pretty sidekick MIB’s comes over and starts spouting a whole lot of stuff in what I can only describe as Latin but far more musical than that. I hear him getting angry? Upset at the very least and you can’t really change some things in the heat of the moment so I catch CDC and FBI in the back and forth between them. The underling jogs off and he turns to look at me.

“I’m afraid that our discussion has to be cut short, there’s and end of the world situation that just arose.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“Sign on with us and we’ll see.”

“I’m sorry, but I’ll have to turn your offer down, like I did the agency’s.”

“And the Morrigan?”

“They haven’t offered yet, but I’ll turn her down too.”

“Really she won’t like that.”

“And I don’t like Nutella, her getting miffed about it actually matters about that much to me in the grand scheme of things.”

“You’re a very, very arrogant young lady.”

“Mr. Drake, what do you and your kind honestly think? That he’ll stop here? That he’ll be satisfied with just this Earth? Some one in the fae courts doesn’t and Shea…Shea was just a middle fish really…wasn’t he? If I were the fae I’d stop worrying about me and if I’m going to be making any more paperweights and look towards home.”

He just stares at me again. They’re not really used to being thwarted or lectured to, he’s still not happy that I’m doing that being just a human and all but…well one he knows I’m right and two there’s something bigger going on right now.

The dark fae’s off to one side of the yard talking to her palm, Jill’s on her phone and the Ashe’s men are doing majik and a white flame circle with all these Celtic looking things in it forms. He’s walking into it. And so do his men and there’s a skyward whoosh beam of fae-fire and they’re gone.

I see headlights a row of them actually and three black escalades pull up to the house and Jill’s leaving, her duffle over her shoulder. She kisses my cheek then her brothers. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you guys when I can.” She jogs to the vehicles. “Sloan!, need a lift?”

The Dark fae girl nods and jogs over and gives me a nod before slipping into the backseat with Jill. They all pull away fast and I look around for HER but she’s not there. I’ll admit to this odd sense of something not right. That and the light fae and dark fae and the SDA are all hearing about it at the same time.

I lean against Shaun. “Are we done yet?”

He stands there and holds me for a long while like he’s listening to something before he picks me up. “I think so.”

“Oh goody.”

“Asmodeus likely won’t be waiting but, I’m sure we’ve got time.”

“How’d you know?”

“It’s not 2012 yet.”

“Har-dee-har-har, yeah I’m serious.”

“So am I, it too much like a coincidence really.”

“Shaun…”

“Yeah…”

“Take me downstairs.” I almost whine it. I didn’t want to know about the 2012 thing! I’m not ready for this at all!, it’s too soon…

He carries me downstairs to his bedroom and he sets me there while he runs around doing things. Set’s his laptop near the bed, runs me a bath…and brought me more soup. Squash-pumpkin with roasted yummy stuff in it and cumin and brown butter and cream. Homemade bread toast for me to dip in it. Dryer fresh made bed sheets and him in there with me cuddling and holding me. The laptop was the coolest thing too. He turned on some Sara McLaughlin on low but turned on one of those screens with the fireplace and stuff and touched it with his tech majik and I could smell it faintly, feel the wood heat coming off of it though.

“…………………mmm…will this melt your computer?”

“No, it’s part of the spell.”

“The chair……..?”

“It’s fine, we’re good.”

“S’good.”

I remember it really strongly y’know moment’s like this. Even falling asleep in Shaun’s arms was so much more than special.

Evanescence 21

Chapter 21

“Maeve…Maeve wake up you lazy pillock, they’re a coming.”

My brain hurts, my feet hurt. Too much dancing at the river. My feet are tough but too many hours of dancing under the stars celebrating. T’was the moonsliver night and the stars where all right and according to custom we lit a prye on running water and we made ready a feast to re-welcome the other folk to the world.

There’s a shallow spot where we raise up the bonfire out of the water on big yew logs and made a fire of pine and rowan oak and tindered the whole lot with holly and mistletoe and we set our tables all about the small island that was our dancing place.

There’s fae blood in my clan going back who knows fer certain but it’s there and it’s where my powers get their extra spark from.

Moonsliver Night is when our otherfolk kin come to visit. An we dance an sing and cast mana to the wind and at the touch of the mid of the night a doorway opens.

An they come.

An I had very much danced too much barefoot on the rocks, and drank way too much mead and wine and Faun made treats and Dryad powders and whisky wit honey an lambs blood.

I’m very much drained, and sore too but the hangovers the worst. I’d g’for hair o’the dog but I dun feel like swapping tongue with one of the Were.

Aye…Were saliva and a wee touch of mead will cure ye right up fast with the right charm.

An I know the charm and such it’s just.

Last Were round these parts was an arsehole. I should know, he was my man fer awhile.

I haul myself off my straw bedding and squint at Gwen. “Who’s a coming, an don they know better?”

“Nay, I’d don’t think these ones will be caring about local custom.”

“Oh why’s that now.” I twist and turn trying to get the kinks out.

“They be Romans.”

“Bloody hell!”

I get up and run outside hurting or not and move through the copse of trees at where the hilltop begins to drop and sure enough they’re coming. Big eagle up on that staff like a talisman and men in armor with weapons and a fortune in forged steel on the march.

They’re heading for the village below us and My mind flares full of light and power.

I see the death, these things with them that shoot spears and hurl stone, lighter spears raining down on them and archers shooting bladders of something like pitch but water jus makes it burn more and spread.

I see my people in chains.

“Gwen, get the horses and get our folk moving. Tell Riley to take our fastest horse and to ride. Tell him at follow the light in this…” I toss her a spelled crystal. “It’ll take him to Avalon, the council must be forewarned.”

I pull a knife from my herb table and cut my skirts off halfway to my knee and as indecent as it is I can move. I move purposefully and get my best hunting knives, and my best yew wood bow and arrows and head to the tree line again.

I close my eyes but hold the image there an I start to sing letting my mana carry the news to those in the village, don’t fight, run, flee.

Some’ll listen, some’ll not. Those I’ll have t’fight for.

My words echo into nothing and they stopped the Roman’s fer a moment wondering most likely what’s made that sound.

I take a breath and twist some essence into it and whistle well above the human ranges at hear unless you’re majik be music like mine. It carries out over the valley and I pull one of my hunting knives and cut a slice on me forearm…t’isn’t deep but it’s meant fer the Romans or rather their horses.

They start and jump at the feeling of someone laying steel to them. Best ting about horses is they scare easy less they battle bred.

………………………………... There are times lately that I wish I was a man. Aye big hairy lugs they might be but a good Celtic warrior can run forever and still fight strong, fight smart. I’m not saying women folk aren’t smart we are in our own ways but the warrior lads, the real fighters are used to this.

I wouldn’t look to them to mend or make candles from tallow or do a full wash but.

Five days of running is taking their toll on me. I didn’t know ye got to know how te run. How te breathe and where you know how to put yer feet and me being the sole druidess fer many leagues here I’ve been running from here to there and trying to save lives and souls. I’d give a dozen gold coins to keep my breasts from aching bound or not. They still bounce and move when their my size.

Aye right now being a lad might jus be the thing.

………………………………...................................................................Aye…souls.

This morning we got to over of the forest villages too late.

This church they have of this One God out of this Rome be a bastard he is. I’ve seen the things these bastards in the brown robes, the so called monks have been doing to make people repent.

Jealous bastard, he admits to the other forces being out there by commanding his people to worship not other save him.

Iron brands in the shape of marks I’ve never seen but are laced with power, being used to burn the fey blood right out of ye heart and soul. The hurt so bad and the despair so think on these poor souls it’s damned near sickening.

But it’s the legionnaire in the black enameled armor that has me afraid. He’s been mortally wounded three or for times and he’s still survived and come back strong. He’s a butcher too…me, women, children…even the littlest babe he does horrible things to.

I put two arrows in him less than half a glass ago and he’s still a chasing me.

The… this…thing he is isn’t human, I see the red purple light burning in his eyes

Demon.

I’ve only heard tales but…

And that sword of his that roman blade has those same marks as the torture tools.

“Come little druid, it won’t hurt, not after the first thousand years…I can smell you girl…your sweat, your majik, you pussy…Oh Rapture’s going to be so sweet to you lover…I promise…I swear it sweetling.”

“Not on you’re best day Hellspawn.”

I run but he just doesn’t tire.

Then I feel the surge behind me of majik and I move right narrowly getting missed by a blast of hell flames. The tree beside me don’t just burn but explodes, I get thrown but back up on my feet seconds later. He fires more and more as I dodge through the trees. Some are sheer misses, some are near hits.

I’ve one chance.

I head for it.

………………………………...... I’m panting and gasping a chant as he comes out of the trees. He looks happy, gleeful even.

“No place to go sweetling, no place to go.”

I look it in the eye and see it for what it really is.

A burned skeleton without real flesh instead of muscle and sinews the bones are held together by burned but pulsating black worms. Desiccated rotting feathered wings sprout from it’s back and it licks it’s lips with three tongues.

“That’s where you’re wrong…”

I turn around and run and hurl myself off the cliff. I’m hundreds of feet up and I turn around in mid-fall not to look…chant the last of my spell and let it send me to sleep…I never feel my death.

………………………………............... That thought disturbs me enough to wake me up. I’m shaking, and for several minutes I’m not sure who I am or where I am until the oddness of the computer and the spelled fire pulls me back into being myself?

Ha…

You’ve got to be alone to be yourself right?

Memories are swirling around in my head Maeve with the others…things bubbling up from all of them. Mostly Maeve though right now. Celtic a real druidess and a healer as well as a singer…I feel the power, her soul flaring inside of mine filling me with her essence and her mana…It’s more than heady, it’s almost giving me the bed spins.

I can feel myself soaking it up, Maeve becoming me…us…At least…at least I died my own way this time. There’s an odd peace to that really. We feel Shaun’s arms around us, and it feels nice, there’s this odd bit of recollection about her musing about wishing she was male during the start of the Roman invasion and the fact I’ve still got my boy parts.

I can sort of appreciate the irony of it too.

She’s surprised though at how womanly we feel. She’s starting to bounce off the other bits of us and there’s a cascade in my head of things. I breathe then roll over and try to either shut it all out or just leave it to them…

“Oi…screw this…” I chant Maeve’s sleep spell and knock myself out only this time I roll forwards and snuggle into Shaun’s chest.

………………………………................. I actually feel better when I do wake up. I’m alone but the sun’s not coming through the basement windows anymore. I sit up a bit and just breathe, reveling in the not drug through the briars feel I’ve had since Shea and facing off with the cult and the demon.

Oh some real sleep can do wonders.

I get up and use Shaun’s bathroom and get showered and everything either he’s pretty tidy in the bathroom for a guy or his mom cleans for him.

Hmm, Mom.

I remember this lesson from Maeve’s teacher saying. “Ye needs light to see light carries the images your eye have to ye mind, now scrying ye needs a reflection a medium of sight and light and ye add yer power to it’s and you will the light to be the thing ye want te see.”

Okay, energy and light it’s interchangeable in theory I think that’s what the physics guys say. The majik must do the rest of the stuff.

I channel mana into the reflection thinking of Mom and see her at a Ihop? With Alecia and…they’re feeding each other and kissing. I’m not the only one watching either. They’re creating quite a stir. One openly gay anything isn’t common and Mom so has the cougar thing going on Alecia still only looks like a teenager or maybe a young college girl.

I’m not freaked, hell It explains a lot of stuff with her and dad and why they broke up.

Dad…

The last time I saw him things didn’t go so well.

I really…

I reach out and try to picture him, channel some more into it.

The image changes and wow, he looks like crap. He doesn’t look like he’s shaved of had a haircut since everything happened and he’s in a old t-shirt and a open flannel shirt and he’ in a garage somewhere sitting in one of those nylon fishing folding chairs and he’s cleaning what looks like motorcyle parts.

I get my thing about bikes and guitars from him.

I miss him.

We weren’t like buddy, buddy all the time close but we were close. Until I went all slacker and stuff then came out as me.

I miss my Daddy. What I wouldn’t give to be able to call him that.

I stare at the image before letting it go.

I come out of the bathroom and Shaun’s there with a coffee. I go over and hug him tight and bury my face into his chest.

“Hey…What’s wrong?”

“I remembered how to scry.”

“And….?”

“I saw my Dad.”

“Oh….sorry honey.” He hugs me so much tighter and it’s so good, just what I really needed right now and I’m crying a little then he tilts my head up and he kisses me.

Passionately kisses me and touches me and it’s that thing that’s one of the best things about being in a relationship. I’d have spiraled myself into this funk over me being me and who I used to be and Dad for sure.

But Shaun knows me more than I know myself sometimes and he’s kissing me so deeply and softly and….like I said sometimes the best thing about having someone is they can stop you from going to those bad places, those dark traps and pits in us and put the brakes on.

We kiss walk back to the bed and I let him lay me down and take what little I have on off.
Goddess I need this.
It just feels like forever since we had this kind of time together.

Shaun, My sweet Shaun, my hero, my guy, and my protector…my heart starts to make love to me.

Hurt tears start turning to in love ones.

Evanescence 22

Chapter 22

I wake up feeling very lazy and good, there’s that just right feeling of being warm and cared for and held that parts of me are just basking in semi- awake. I’ve several lesbian parts to my other lives and my other selves that are still sort of trying to make peace with my heterosexuality.

Yes me, now I’m a transgendered woman but I’m into men. Okay I’m into one man and that’s the guy I’m with now.

Shaun.

Now to be perfectly honest with myselves there was several really shitty lifetimes that those versions of myself were with women because of bad things in their lives with men. So they were really bisexual I guess.

And there were parts of me that had really known the feelings of being tenderly made love to by a man. That Shaun is that sweet and good to me and the fact that he used to be …and well still is my best friend makes things even more special.

But it’s still pretty much all me that rolls over and kisses his sleeping face, those really nice lips, tracing a dimple with a finger tip. Then kiss his chin and I tilt my head and suck on his throat…like that kissing, lips slipping over the bumps of his Adam’s apple…I love the taste of his skin, he just…Shaun moans a little in his sleep or getting stirred from it as I go from there down to his chest.

I can’t help it but to taste, kiss over his heart a few times. There is this power, this energy there that I can feel, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt, like nothing any of me has ever felt but I can tell it’s for me.

It feels like majik, like essence but for me. They say that love is the greatest for of majik there is but is that actually what I’m sensing.

Then it’s further down his chest to those abs and lower….yeah lower. There are times even without the others inside and that a lot of them are lesbians just me, and nothing/no one else is sort of freaked out a bit… okay a lot when it comes to stuff like this.

Yeah I like guys, yes I’m transgendered but I’m very new to this still in fact I am still really new to the actual sex acts still. Shaun and I’ve have actually slept together more than we’ve actually “slept” together.

I’m a bit of a slow starter and I’m shutting parts of me out while I’m doing this. Not so just because they’ll influence me but I want this time to be just us. It gets a little crowded being me.

It definitely wakes Shaun up.

No I’m not all that good at it and y’know if I was I might get into more detail but I guess the important points were that seem to have did a good enough job and that unless you’re careful when you’re doing that for your guy they get a bit into it and there’s fingers through your hair and you might have him try and shove everything he’s got down your throat.

Well that really woke me up.

Well at least I didn’t choke or throw up on him.

And it did lead to us having sex, making love and that was good. I tried it back before all of this and it wasn’t like the way it is now. And the difference is me really. Aside from my boy parts I’m very passable, that’s from this whole Evanescence thing. It doesn’t really transform me but there’s so much female energy inside of me it permeates my body and with me being in actually medical transition and on a hormone regimen it’s like the energy makes changes that are at the biological extremes I guest. Like magically super charged hormones.

I’m heading to a D-cup and they’re all real and my waist is smallish and my hips have actually grown out more than they would have and I’ll admit I’ve a really nice butt and great skin…but it’s the way I feel so much the woman that I am coupled with the way that I feel about Shaun that makes this what it is.

Still though I’m looking forward to the day when things are going to be fixed right with my body. From what I know about the way that magic and sex changes works is it’s not as simple as just wishing it to be so. It’s like everything else unless you really know the topic enough to guide the magic then you’re taking chances.

I mean I am getting more and more female I guess but at the same time there are transwomen that are a part of HER so…

Surgery like everyone else might be the only option.

But no huge complaints, by the time we’re done I’m sweaty and feeling warm and happy, loved and pretty and I’m curled up again with Shaun in recovery mode and just actually going over what we’re going to have for breakfast.

Being a Faraday it’s kind of neat that we’re in his basement bedroom and he’s able to sort of see what’s in the refrigerator.

“Hmm, how about I just go and surprise the both of us honey?” Shaun says smiling as he pulls me into him tighter to spoon.

“What? You’re expecting me to not want you to get up and make me breakfast?”

“I’ll make you breakfast anytime you want.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah…” he rolls me over onto my back and really deeply kisses me as he’s getting up, he breaks it and stares at me with those electric blue-grey eyes of his. “Considering I’m more than ready to be cooking you breakfast for the rest of our lives.”

…………Oh.

Oh, oh wow.

Shaun…

He’s already left by the time exactly what he said kicks in and I sit up in bed and I’m just filled with this wash of happy feelings. There’s this whole self and selves sort of happy that’s just adding to everything.

There’s this spot in my minds eye where the different versions of myself from different times are all sort of sitting like I am right now just kind of sharing in the feelings that I’m having.

In the window seat of a Spanish villa looking out over the cliffs to the Mediterranean. I can feel the warmth, the salty sea air making my slip move around me.

Back to the rails of the old whitewashed fence of the masters house, the smell of the garden all around me and the sun flittering through the leaves of the trees and the smell of the lavender we used in the laundry…the feeling of life then before the painful stuff started and when we knew a boy, a kind white boy who was gonna get us clear and take up north so we didn’t hafta be a slave no more.

It was a nice feeling remembering something from then that wasn’t terrible.

Picking herbs in the jungle and just after the rain, and enjoying the peace and quiet and just the raw beauty of it. Vietnam was and likely still is a lovely place if you minus all the stuff from the war that happened there.

Another favourite time was cooking, chicken and rice…pots boiling away to feed as many as we could then but sitting in the hut of our teacher dry and warm sipping tea while there was a straight down heavy rain outside…she/I loved those moments.

She was never really with anyone and sitting like this sort of rising to my surface it’s a good thing…she...she thinks Shaun’s a good man.

But they’re me too, I’m them or I was or parts of me were. It’s easier though in a way to keep them sort of themselves too. I think it’s what keeps me sane.

Heaven/Molly’s staying away….just everything…Jill…me being with Shaun. It’s okay that’s stuff I need to set aside for awhile.

The mountains, me and my wife just by ourselves on those rare afternoons where we weren’t bust with the village. I loved holding her, my back to our chimney and us up on the thatch watching the clouds go by.

I want to do that with Shaun. Theirs is nothing like being in the mountains up high enough that you can sometimes look out level with yourself to watch the clouds pass by.

And lastly…in my house carding wool watching Conal with the young ones out in our front patch and him wrestling with the boys and picking dandelions with our girls to make crowns and neck chains instead of picking the greens of them for supper.

~Hey now…I known you’re lads a sweet fella and it’s quite aright ta bask in the good life but we’re not supposed to be just idling away ‘ere Raine. ~

“Maeve?”

~Aye, Me I’ve been takin the gran tour as it is missus Evanescence an I’d have been talking t’yeh sooner but I got lost in the great expanse of nothin that ye have up here. ~

“I’m talking to you how…?”

~’Cause yer not the bloody only one that carried the burden you silly twit. ~

“I’m not, I mean I new there was other ones but I thought the last one died a long time ago putting Asmodeus down?”

~Aye for the full on thing t’is true but there was some of us that the blood carried a few souls of our fore-mothers inside of us. ~

“I didn’t know that it could work that way.”

~Aye that much is obvious, and that’s not the point, the point is you’ve barely got any training under ye and that needs to change.~

“I’ve got a friend coming and she can help show me the ropes.”

I get that Gibbs hitting Tony in the back of the head thing from HER. She’s dressed like Maeve would be and she’s got thick wavy auburn hair and freckles.

“Ow! Why aren’t YOU the one teaching me?”
“I can only show you the things that I know as THE GODDESS on Earth could like a coven leader, or the head of a circle. And you are not a practicing Wiccan let alone a priestess.”

“But YOU made me; you’re responsible for this…”

“I was one of those who made you, who lent power and knowledge into the making of what you are. I have been helping you Raine but there are only so many things that I can do.”

I close my eyes and I can see Maeve there looking back at me.

~Y’know she’s right Raine, being the Evanescence is about majik, and the different kinds there be not just the Wiccan stuff of HER folk but all of it from every woman of power in our bloodline.~

I’m nodding.

“So what do I do? Where do I start?” I’m talking to both of the and it really has been the biggest thing really, how to start doing the things that I need to know until I get a teacher.

~Aye if it were me and now really t’is. I’d be stepping deep into your lives and learning just not the stuff that you reach for or floats to the surface but all of it. Because y’know Asmodeous, y’know he hasn’t forgotten a trick. ~

SHE’S nodding in agreement.

I’m nodding in agreement.

“Okay, so…how do I start this step?”

SHE smiles; “That I can show you, it’s a little bit different than normally meditating but you’ll get it. Being a woman who has lived the lives of other women is something I know an awful lot about.”

SHE’S teaching me about breathing in the lotus position but more of a yoga thing actually…SHE’S Indian like the saree wearing kind and not the Native American kind and is wearing a saree actually and she’s an old lady at that her hair grey and her face filled with wrinkles that are this roadmap of the things she has seen and the things she has been through.

We start into this sort of Yoga…Buddhist…reincarnation thing that they actually use in other religions.

Shaun came in for just a moment and the slipped back out before showing back up with two trays of food. He leaned over and kissed me deeply and nuzzled my face.

“I’m not even going to ask right now.” He nuzzles then kisses me. “I’ll be out in my workshop in the garage. I Love You.” He finishes strong with a great kiss.

I got off my rhythm of breathing and I watch him go and let out a sigh.

SHE smiles and SHE’S setting the food in front of us. “He’s getting stronger, he could feel me here…it’s…it’s actually really nice that he did this…”

“Yeah Shaun’s almost as much as a surprise as all of this.”

“You’re lucky…even with all the men that I’ve known I can tell he’s one of the good ones.”

“I know.”

I set down my empty cup of coffee. “Let’s get back to it. I’m ready.”

Evanescence 23

Chapter 23

It’s been a long day and everything since I had started to practice in earnest. Shaun had retreated to his workshop where he was doing Artifice and while I was curious I was too busy trying to get a better grip on myself and my magic.

I had made some water bottles up and a jug of lemonade and a few peanut butter sandwiches and went out into one of the fields and sat with a blanket.

I need to touch my other selves most of them had been magic-users of some kind before I had been and I actually don’t try to bring Antonia up first but Kara.

The Norse-witch, the element user because she had been the most effective self that I had against Shea.

I get ready and sink into meditation and reach inside myself and open up the way.

“Magic is life and life is magic.”
“What was once shall be once again.”
“Energy is life and life is magic.”
“Magic is energy and it just changes forms.”
“Life changes forms.”

It’s not a spell or even a mantra it’s me adlibbing stuff that I know are fundamental stuff about like magic and physics even because while magic and science is sort of incompatible it works too at the same time?

It’s more to lull myself into this state where I’m sort of letting Kara be me? And me be her more that usual. Like I’m imprinting her as the new template for me like an avatar in a video game.

The first thing I notice is the sensations, smells are way different because she’s. I…we’ve never been across the Atlantic. A lot of the scents of nature are new to us; our clothes are next, so light and sheer. I had only a few dresses of Nilelander cottons but these were so very fine and nice.

This bra thing, we had similar things, mine was a leather vestette I preferred. This thing called a sports bra comes to mind.

“Pfft…there will be time enough to dress in that Raine, you need exercise.”

It’s most odd talking to myself like that. Unsettling knowing that I feel like I’m Kara but knowing that I am long dead and gone. That I’m really this girl and that I’m teaching me?

See very odd and unsettling.

Enough woolgathering Kara… Ragnarock comes.

I start with the elements and how to touch them as I know how. I have an affinity for wind but I can use all of them. An affinity is just that a like and preference and a talent for one thing over another.

For me the first thing is to gather you essence…essence like for greater spells not mana and meditate and breathe.

With each breath I fill my lungs with essence and then with the breaths that follow I filter out the things in the air that is not the true element’s essence. It’s slow going this time, slower still because she is not truly me but we get there where the filtered out natural energies of wind are racing though my blood, her blood and we feel it in our hair, we move and we sway to it’s rhythm and we get lost with the breathing of the world.

To know air like this intimately you learn to shape it and to control it. To get that feeling of air in your soul then to reach out with your mana into that feeling and to infuse that gust with your will…and like the wind it’s just as fleeting.

Her high is my high as I cut loose and I have the floodgates of her powers open to me and I wrap us in winds and I lift us off of our seat and a dozen feet into the air and I swirl and storm of flowers around us.

I love the flower swarm spell it just does that make the petals swirl and swirl around us I did this for Lita….she love this and I’m crying at the memory and Raine not me reaches out and she uses a light spell making some change to it I do not know and instead of the ball of light there it’s Lita and home and my memories…I watch and cry and touch and never thought that I’d see then never like this…it’s a precious gift to see them.

I’m more than happy despite my dark past to share the happy things really and truly with the new me and if they mean more and more to Raine then maybe they’ll live on even more.

We rest and calm ourselves and the rest if training her…to feel the air but to extend herself into it. Feel the flutter of wings bee or bird and to know them. I teach her to pull air with her powers together and compress it. I learn things that she knows bit of about physics? It seems a roman or a greek word but these things about weighs of pressure seem sound.

We learn things…I learn, we learn this science thing and we fine tune my shield of air. Mine would slow things very much with condensed air and now it is solid between layers of condensed air and something she calls micro-eddy’s that spin the incoming things off course…deflects them.

By the time we are done for the day I cannot stay Raine’s head is filled with so many things I do not know of and had I remained I do not know…plus there was her and this Shaun.

I am not ready for my remaining soul to touch his like a lovers…I retreat inside to my sisters…

……………………………………….so like I said a long day. With Kara gone for now I head back to the farm and am mulling over ideas. Air, earth, fire, water…I need her help to touch these right and then I really need to get some serious work done on my studies.

I’m getting why old time mages and witches had labs and grimoires, notebooks because good magic is partway base on science.

I mean I can make simple holograms because I’m a geek and I get how to reform the ball of light to have pixels.

Oh…and I just figured out how to sort of do other things…not too…But I really slacked in high school and didn’t take physics or chemistry so I need to learn those. I mean just with my discovery channel scientific knowledge my brain can’t turn off.

I make myself stop and go help Shaun’s dad in the greenhouses and get some baskets of stuff picked for supper. Mostly stuff for the salads and stuff but he grows all sorts of veggies and heirloom stuff too all organic and everything her and with the soft mellow tunes he’s got in the background I’m mellowing out.

There’s nothing like picking and munching as you pick on stuff while Leonard Cohen’s droning in the way that he does. I’ll admit I like the song “Bird on a wire.”

I go and help Mandy (That’s Shaun’s mom.) with supper and just relax and we actually talk about what happened with me out in the field today and Mandy gets me some lotion to put on because I was out there for most of the day and I got a healthy sunburn.

Supper’s cooking and I see Shaun come in and he’s covered in dirt but like that grey dirt like from metal and carbon and stuff. He looks tired too. I get him a drink of iced tea and he drains it and he takes it slower with the second one that I pour him.

“Tired?”

“Yeah but it was a good day.” He smiles at me.

I like the way that he smiles at me.

“Artifice is dirty work.”

“That’s more the trial and error stuff, lots of carbon from the flashes and snaps.”

“Flashes and snaps?”

“Electricity?”

“Oh yeah I can see that.”

“Yeah, I’m….going to take a shower.”

“Want me to wash your back?”

“Sure…”

We head off down to his basement and we slip into the shower together and at first it’s just that washing the day off of us but then I just really need to kiss him and to feel Shaun.

Being Kara was a learning experience but it also has left me with this sort of needing to feel like me feeling and one of the ways that I feel the most like me is when Shaun and I are making love.

I won’t go into the details of us and our lovemaking because well it’s us and I’ve said it before. It is good and we take it slow and it is exactly what we needed and both wanted. Well that and the nice little forty minute nap we had afterwards with him holding me.

Supper was good with grilled pork chops and a big salad and a plate of tomatoes sliced thin with olive oil and all the trimmings and steamed green beans.

Jill shows up for supper alone and I’m feeling more settled now with her and the whole thing between her and the me that used to be her lover. She’s freshly showered and she looks not tired but her eyes are overly bright and there’s the scent of strange magic all over her.

We’re outside having a coffee and sort of her beckoning for me to join her and we both light up.

“What’s up, you smell funny.”

“Smell funny?”

“You’ve got this really strange power coming off of you.”

“You can tell that?” she gives me this look. It’s that spy with a blown cover kind of look.

I nod and drink some coffee.

“I had to report in. The Ashe being here and Sloan plus the whole thing with Shea and then that demon dust up down town….They wanted to know.”

“Who?”

“My bosses Raine, they’d still want to talk to you but there’s something else going on and it’s big.”

“Big?”

“Really big, it has to do with Asmodeus.”

“Okay what…?”

She looks hesitant. “Jill, you might as well tell me what’s going on I’ll find out sooner or later.”

“There’s this group…called the Templars and it seems that they’ve been allied with him as their like new messiah. They made a bio-weapon and it is a magical virus that attacks Were’s.”

“Like a military grade bio-weapon?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…that’s not good…right?”

“No, not since the Were’s have found out and this small time Were clan queen has gone off the reservation and raised an army and has the samples of the weapon.”

“And that’s bad.”

“Yeah….there’s rules Raine, the old blood ancient humans made pacts with the fae to be taught to become one with the souls of animals. The fae needed forces to fight the threats of the demons and the vampires and the humans needed protection so the first Were’s were created.”

“Okay.” I take another drink.

“Well this queen has broken the laws that keep the balance of power in check with the Were’s and she’s really getting considered dangerous.”

I see HER there. I hold my hand up for Jill to stop.

~So? ~ I ask mentally to HER.

~The Were’s are human touched and the fae don’t really like or trust humanity for well they’re humanity. ~

I nod I’ll fully admit we’re one messed up and shitty species if you look at all the negatives. Jill’s looking at me and she’s looking at her watch spelled do-dad and still looks confused the she looks at me with her wrist tilted.

I pull the power that’s usually on the surface of myself in and under my skin like I’m confining it to just my nervous system. I basically turned off my wireless and am running on a closed system. Jill frowns looking at it them me.

I turn to look at Her again.

~So this girl got frisky with the rules and that’s why the supernatural oldies are up in arms? ~

~Basically yes and by the nature of Were-pack magic she’s getting stronger and stronger and she’s gaining allies. ~

~Allies? ~

~The Native American clan packs. The see her way of seeing pack and family in the same way. ~

~So, she’s really looking down the barrel of being a serious Were-Queen? ~

~Yes, And she was the one that found out the whole threat of the virus to begin with and had made her own army and crossed from here into Canada and took the threat out here.~

~So what is she going to do with it, the virus and the power? ~

~I’m not a mind reader but she’s sent an ally here. ~

~Here? ~

~Well they’re on their way here. ~

~Okay, so how will I know them? ~

~Oh well he’s and elf and he’s traveling with an earthbound angel. ~

I stop and take a drag then a drink of my coffee and sigh. ~Its starting isn’t it? ~

~Yes.~

~Okay…can you tell me who this Queen is? ~

~Parker, Stevie Parker. She lives in Moon bay up in Maine. ~

~Okay…~

~Okay? ~

I look at HER. ~I at least have an idea of what to do and where to start. ~

SHE looks at me. ~Good.~ then she smiles and fades out for now.

I turn and look at Jill.

“I’ll talk to Parker once I talk to her people after they get here.”

“What! what the hell Raine!” she actually steps up to me like she might try to shake the information out of me. I stare back. “What? I found out.”

“How? That’s top secret information.”

“So is a lot of things when you think about it Jill, you’re top secret remember.”

“I’m government sanctioned Raine you’re a civilian.”

“No I’m not Jill; I haven’t been a civilian in a long long time.”

I move past her and head inside. She doesn’t like that but she doesn’t stop me. “They really want to talk to you Raine.”

“Okay but after we get done what we have to get done tonight.”

“And what’s that?”

“We have to keep mom and Alecia from killing the brother of the vampire they dusted last night…he works for Michel.”

“Who the hell is Michel?”

“The guy who sent Shea.”

“And how the hell do you know this stuff!” she’s following me professionally pissed off and I head down stairs. “Shaun! We gotta go and track mom down she’s not answering her phone…”

“Yeah…be right there, it’s getting close to sunset.”

“What the hell happens at sunset?” Jill asks but she’s out of her jeans and getting dressed into combats and getting her stuff.

Shaun gets his coat and his satchel? And he deadpans. “Alecia turns into a pumpkin.”

I do a clothing spell right there and then and reshape the fibres and some free matter that can be mage spun into sports underwear and a long coat and hoody and black jeans look that’s actually a lot like “Rogue’s” look from the first part of the x-men movie.

Jill’s staring at me and I smile and look at her. “We’ll take your truck.”

She nods but she looks lost…

Like when she first took the big lesbian step and was with me.

Dammit…I really want to kiss her again.

Evanescence 24.

Chapter 24

I get out of the trailer and head for the truck and Shaun pipes up. “Here, I rigged these up for something else.” He’s tossing sunglasses around to everyone. It’s not the expensive ones but those cheap all black plastic ones but there’s microchip on the inside of the cross-piece and a symbol?

“What’s this?”

“I charmed them with voltage detection chips, you can see the current running through things including people when you concentrate on seeing it. Vamps won’t have any being animated by blood magic.”

I put them on and nothing until I concentrate my stare. It’s sort of like squinting without squinting? Oh…I seen the lines of blue in my arm and my hand…coolness. I mean there’s lots of really cool stuff with this magic stuff happening in my life but Shaun made these and it’s so just cool. I see the lines of current in others when I look at them except Alecia’s a dead zone literally.

And then Shaun.

These things show like the major currents in us but the electrical power in Shaun is so bright because of his magic he looks like an alien being. All his nerves are lit up, even the tiny ones.

He’s beautiful.

Like nothing that I’ve ever seen before.

“Goddess Shaun these are so cool.”

He smiles and shrugs. “Applied majik, really I made the first pair to help see current running through walls and stuff when I was at Grandpa’s.”

I have to unfocus while looking at him. He’s way too distracting to me like this. I’m so wearing these though the next time we have sex.

“Okay, everyone got using these down?”

Mom shakes her head until Alecia whispers in her ears then she lets out this little “Oh…” the looks at Shaun as she’s looking at our trailer. “Shaun…I’m keeping these.” She then gets into her truck and gives us a thumbs up. Jill nods. “Good work little bro, pro-stuff.”

We head into town and we all have the lists to look through and we stop at Eastlands elementary school to meet up with Jill’s people. Oh, not a bad idea…most people never look at cars and trucks at a school especially a school for young children.

Okay, all the stuff with Jill aside I get to see her run her show. There’s a whole world of difference seeing her running the situation and there’s a lot of stuff that just tickles my geek nerves. City maps and even interior maps on computers, stuff downloaded onto smartphone apps and lots, and lots of wonderful gear that has me and Shaun staring. Jill’s cherry picking through crates and then we’re headed to the first place called Forca?

Sloan is there waiting for us dressed differently than the scrubs I’ve only seen her in. wet look wavy dark hair, flawless pale skin with gothic make up. I’m not sure who does that look better vampires or dark fae.

She’s got this sleeveless leather shirt on that hugs everything just…and jeans that…Heaven is really unhappy especially seeing the way that Jill’s looking at her.

We head down inside this is like a lot of these goth clubs around here set un in a basement space with dark paint and glow in the dark paint with tattoo like images and just stuff I vaguely get?

I remember vaguely some of this life…The music and the dancing and the posers. We get stopped by the bouncers and says something…yeah pass words…get’s you in without paying the cover.

I look at Jill.

She looks at me.

“Hey, you’ve got the expense account.” I grin at her, she pays but pulls each ten out of her wallet steal thing me the finger each time.

We danced a bit, but nothing…no fangers in Forca. I’m not impressed with the whole very bad Western take on Hispano-Goth. Mixed feelings here, Heaven’s all over the place inside of me and most of the others don’t care for the whole club like.

Kara and Maeve…fascinated though and I did have a good time dancing with Shaun. He’s a bad dancer, but he doesn’t care. He made every time I saw Jill and Sloan bearable.

I can’t help it but to be quiet and hurting somewhat as I get into the truck when we head out. Hurting…there’s this scary, scary shadow ache of….of wanting a fix. God I hate this.

Driving I’m looking and seeing the “others” in my reflection of the glass in the window. Jill and Sloan are in the back and while we’re trying to be all business doing this they’re sharing looks…those glances.

I close my eyes and breathe, try and center It’s so schizophrenic really. I’ll be glad when I balance this out…I hope I balance this out. Maybe this is really what killed the past versions of myself…not the other lives but the other evanescence’s.

I think sometimes the others inside of me are still alive. I sort of feel them moving and reacting inside of me actually like they’re working to chill Heaven/Molly out and I try to focus inward… ~Jill’s had to move on…she’s living her life, we have to let her…more than that…with everything going on…we have to fight for her to have the chance at the best life.~

I feel like crying deep inside though.

We drive for awhile before heading down to this maybe listed place called The Baldrik it’s a rebuild burned out brick warehouse down by the tracks in a bad area of town. The demon incident was down here too. I think they kept the burnt brick for the look of the place.

We’re one of the few vehicles parking down here. Most of the others are sort of guarded by what passes for gangs hereabouts. It’s a sad state of affairs when a nice mid-western town like this that never had slums before certainly have them now.

There’s a lot of me that knows this is on purpose. Poverty leads to vulnerability and desperation and this leaves people open to those things that go bump in the night. And there’s always those looking for something…anything. Things that lead them to places like here.

There’s a big guy at the doors and Sloan’s little password bit doesn’t work here….heh…heh…and Jill looks like she’s going to I.D. flash him. When Shaun gives him that wassup head nod and they guy shake hands and stuff…it’s odd, I never really ever got that sort of innate guyese thing that men seem to have towards each other.

There’s this whole thing of.

“Dude.”
“Man…”
“Longtime”
“Trudat.”
“How’s Kiik?”
“Gone.”
“Bernie?”
“Awesome.”
“Good pie.”
“Daaaamn good pie.”
“We good?”
“Hell yeah.”
“Thank Tito.”
“Cool.”

And at least I’m not alone with the whole two maybe three word line conversation they just had. Jill’s got this look and I hear her muttering as we head in. “I’ll never get it, never did never will…guys…” She shoots me a look.

“Hey don’t look at me, I was never a guy like that my maleness was camouflage…and it didn’t come equipped with gruntese.”

Shaun comes up behind me and hugs me. “Ugh…wooman…Shaun like wooman, have soft humpy bits.”

He sort of tickles me and Jill has this ick look on her face. Sloan is laughing and giggling. She points at Shaun. “I remember when all of you talked like that, you channeling racial memories there Shauney?”

We’re laughing actually a bit even me with Sloan’s joking and even Jill then we’re hit by the heavy metal blasting at us from the huge speakers as we go inside. I see Sloan’s lips pull into a smile of sharp Nixie teeth. She pulls Jill down the stairs to the floor and they’re grooving to *More Human than Human.* By White Zombie.

I focus on my shades and there’s a few shapes without the blue in the mixture. I tap Air magic…and vibrate the air beside Jill and Sloan’s ears like I’m talking in their ears.

“We’ve got some people with dead batteries here, keep your eyes peeled.”

I’ve no idea what the game plan is but I dance with Shaun or try to, this is not my thing and I’m not one for getting bumped all the time or getting felt up girl on girl. It’s hard to not pull away freaked out.

I move with things and Shaun gets my uncomfortableness and as bad a dancer as he is he tries to dance block some of the people that seem to be drifting to me. I can see Sloan and she’s reveling in her whole sexuality thing and the metal music and the wildness of the experience.

I catch the non-human in her though, she moves like a guy/lesbian’s wet dream but her eyes. I see the predator she is scoping things out.

It’s nothing for awhile then it seems to happen all so fast…

There’s this guy, dancing with me out of nowhere, he’s got no light lines of current running through him.

“You’re new here!” he shouts. ~Look at me.~

Oh…he’s trying to glamour me?

I pull down my glasses and look at him.

“Yeah, not really my scene!”

“Too bad it’s so you!” ~You like me, you trust me, feel the attraction…want me.~

“Thanks, you’re not from town are you?”

“No, I’m here looking for work!” ~Want me, trust me…yes, I’m the one you’ve been looking for.~

“You’re a good dancer!”

“Thanks, it’s just something natural for me!”

“Naw, that’s just the vampire reflexes right?”

He narrows his eyes and he grabs my wrist. “I knew you were too thick to my look. What are you…I can smell power in your blood.”

“I’m more than you can handle is what I am.”

“We’ll see about that.” He drags me through the crowd.

I use Air magic again to tell the others. “He’s taking me somewhere out of the way and just where we might want to be at crowd wise.”

His grip hurts a bit and I look through my shades, yeah they’re following him, he’s the leader…smelled my essence through all of the stuff here. And it’s a vampy gothic club, I’m sure there’s lots of blood scents in the air. I’m going to have to remember that.

It’s back room, the store room and he gives me this yank that’s supposed to hurl me up against the wall. I use Air again and slow myself by making a cushion and stop then turn and look at him. “That wasn’t nice.”

“I’m not nice, I don’t like being outed.”

“I’m not partial to being glammed.”

“You’re the meat, you don’t get an opinion.”

Others are filtering in, three, five, nine, then more close to twenty.

“Wow, you’re kind of a fang slut aren’t you?”

Some look nervous, new? The food’s not supposed to talk back.

“Funny, but that’ll change.”

“Doubt that.”

“You will when you’re one of us?”

“I’ll make you stronger on a full kill.”

“You’re worth more with us.”

“Aaah, the green eyes.”

Oh they get nervous now, shuffling. He’s glaring at me harder his eyes slowly going vamped feral.

“What do you know about it witch.”

“I’m looking for them.”

“Once your one of us you’ll find them.”

“So you know where Raphael is.”

“He ain’t been hard to find for us.”

“Good. Tell me and I’ll cut you a deal.”

“Deal? Honey, this isn’t Buffy, and you’re crew out there with my others ain’t the scoobies.”

“No, their not…definitely not.”

He stiffens…feeling it happening. He stalks at me and I wrap myself in Air magic and he thumps into it. Get’s pissed and starts trying to force his way through…it’s more or less his magic in him against mine in the shield.

I’m stronger.

“Get her!”

Okay…I might not be able to hold them all off.

A half dozen or so are coming at me trying to push through the shield. I grit my teeth and hold. This is still the first real time majik stuff I’m doing and on my own…I reach in at create light…that’s pushing out mana and gathering the motes/particles of light together…I shape them in front of each vamp, where their hands ad bodies are trying to push through my wall of stiffened air. I make blazing crosses. There’s screams and flames from them and they recoil.

There’s this quiet settling over everything and then there’s the sound of footsteps and Jill walks in two Japanese daggers in her hands loosely and she stops….

Ignores the vampires shifting to adjust to her being there and she takes out her deck of smokes and she flips a smoke out. Then light’s it.

The vamp leader stares at me then at her. “You’ve got a mage, so what Fed. We’ve got the numbers, we’re stronger than you both, it’s just academic.”

Jill exhales some smoke head down and there’s some smoke drifting up through her hair she just has her cigarette held in her lips and in the combat blacks she just looks…

“You should do a recount there Max.”

Two vamps on the edges get yanked off their feet into the shadows and ashes spill out of the spot followed by Sloan all nixied out dark shark like eyes, clawed black nails and those three black batman like spurs…and the elbow spikes…sharp teeth.

Jill cocks her head to the other side almost lazy like and another vamp dusts it with Shaun shoving his hand through it a blazing sphere of ball lightning in his hand… gloves that look like those sort of Nintendo power gloves…his eyes flare like Raiden from mortal combat, his blonde hair moving in some kind of static wind.

Oh…

Max…the lead vamp looks pissed and scared and he goes full vamp shift. He pulls two very large knives curved ones of those kurkri types. Other vamps are pulling weapons, I’m….shit vamps using weapons? You don’t really see that in the movies.

Jill lets her arms down in some stance and those Japanese daggers start sliding out longer…oh those snap-baton blades from the demon fight.

It goes from nothing to full chaos in an instant.

Shaun’s doing some boxing stuff and somehow boosting his strength? I see him blast a vamp trying to blindside him with a mini-lightning bolt from the palm on his hand/glove and drive another one a dozen feet away with a ball lightning palm strike. He reaches out like a Jedi and pulls a fire axe from the wall and swings it into the heart of a vamp dusting it.

That’s just so…wow, Shaun…

Sloan’s duking it out with three vamps and just when they thing they got her she becomes water? Or she’s made a water replica and she’ll hit them from the sides and her claws and spurs are very sharp and she’s fast, really fast in an inhuman way but also nimble and flexible. It really shows that she looks human but she’s not. Humans, even the vamps who were sort of human in structural ways can’t move like Sloan.

Then there’s Jill…and she gets attacked by this mob of them at first and she goes all…Kill Bill, Sucker Punch, Shi… (Comic samurai.) and it’s like she just knows where they’ll move, where they’re going to be and she’ll evade almost like a dancer but instead of then getting empty air when they went for her, they find one of her sword slicing through them or impaling them.

She clashes with Max swords to knives. He drives her backward through the dust of the vamps she just killed. She braces and turns and almost throws him but makes him back off.

Then it’s one of those fights, blade on blade as fast as it gets and her somehow able to keep up with him and not get gutted by using the difference in her size and the reach of her blades and skill…I had no idea she was this…

Jill…

Dammit I can’t sit still, I wade into the ones trying to get to me and I charge myself up…I have not just the mana but the essences of all of the lives that I’ve been…essence is different and as I charge up and layer myself I am as strong and fast as each all of us as one being.

The vamp girl screams in shock when I catch her wrist when she goes to claw me and I snap it off completely and I slap her down and tag her face with a light spell cross that continues to burn. It’s not the light it’s the cross and the fact I know it works…faith, belief and the mana invested.

I keep doing that, I rely on Kara’s life for my fighting instincts and I punch and kick and fight and throw them around and dole out crosses the entire time.

Then I’m back to back with Shaun and It’s…it’s like a dance…my strength, his my light his lightning, my fists and his axe.

Then it’s over…ashes and dust floating through the place and Sloan twitching and smoking…some of their weapons had enough iron it them she’s really hurting…poisoned and she’s smoking.

I look to Jill…

Holding Max in her arms like they’re dancing…he’s whispering in her ear but could have been biting her except from one of her blades coming out of his back and there’s this slowly expanding circle of ash forming.

I hear his choked whisper…it must be spreading to his lungs now.

“Kiss me Fed, let me have one more real kiss before it takes me.”

Jill kisses him deeply lesbian or not.

Then she twists the blade and he tilts his head back as he turns to ashes.

She blinks and then looks around.

“Club Vantu…Raine can you…?”

“Got it, Sloan?”

“Need to sit down…I…I really hate this plane.”

I help her over to a stack of beer boxes and start to reach in and feel the mana of the iron and latching onto it pulling it out. My head swirling with all these things…but mostly…

Four on thirty? And this happened?

Fuck we might have a chance.

Evanescence 25.

Chapter 25.

I look at Sloan and her wounds and I close my eyes and reach out with Essence since she’s fae and I’m not sure using just mana would even work on her. Maeve knows the magic for this she’s worked it healing the fae before from cold wrought weapons and such before and it was lethal back then to the part bloods of her day too.

It’s an amazing little trick, it’s building the idea of a shield spell, the defensive one and not the hiding yourself type of stuff. And I’m learning that all on the fly as she’s doing it sort of and guiding me sort of all at the same time. It’s like about twenty percent of me is actually Raine and the rest is Maeve coming through.

I had no idea that a shield is just expanded magic over an area defined by the metal focus of being a wall or a barrier. Power helps too the amount of energy you pump into it helps. Maeve works on the feeling of the iron in Sloan’s blood to target it and then encase it in shield magic and cut it off from actually interacting with her body.

Harder than it sounds because cold wrought iron want’s to fight the magic. It’s a good thing I made this an essence spell. I call the magic back to me and pull the stuff from her body and I can feel her body start this intense turn around.

Hmm fast healers these fae, or at least Sloan is.

I’m not sure of how to feel about Jill right now.

~Aye it’s going te come out. ~

~Maeve? ~

~Aye, who else? ~

~But you’re dead…you’re part of me. ~

~Ahm know, ah know and let’s jus say thet I’m you and yer meh and this is all acause of the majiks and we can just let it go at thet. ~

~Great I’m talking to myself. ~

~Yes love an I’m the font of wisdom an knowledge now stop runnin from what I’m telling ye.~

~And what’s that? ~

~Ye have to come clean with Jill. ~

~I can’t. ~

~Ye can an ye will. ~

~No dammit1 I can’t I died, I died and I left her and now I’m like this and I’m a whole other person and I’m in love with Shaun.~

~Look Molly, Raine ye have te let her know else she’ll find out another way and that might be harder on ye then telling her the truth but ahm sure as hell certain’ll be a lot harder on Jill.~

~I don’t want to hurt her, besides I’m with her brother. ~

~Well then if you’re wit her brother then maybe ye should stop looking at her like ye’ve been doing. ~

~Fine! ~

I release the healing majik and sort of push the Maeve part of me away and unclench my jaw and sigh. Sloan’s staring at me her eye fully nixie shark like.

“Better?”

“Much…” She says as she nods but she’s still studying me. “You formed freckles and you scent shifted.”

“It’s part of my majik.”

“Odd…”

She looks at me very intensely but not aggressively and even then it’s unnerving. She’s fae and even if the act human they aren’t. Not by a long shot, like I said it’s unnerving getting studied by an alien being.

I get up and head over to Shaun who’s getting bandages on some of his cuts and scrapes while he’s leaning on one of the city light posts. I can smell the electricity running into him and coming off of him and I don’t try to get that close remembering last time.

“You okay?” I ask him.

“I was going to ask you the same question.”

“I’m okay, just getting nerved up.”

“I can get that.”

“No it’s not this thing with Raphael, well it’s part of it but it’s stuff with the SDA and Jill and all of that plus the stuff with The Larch and I still haven’t heard exactly the stuff going on with Sloan’s boss. It’s not as if the Morrigan has a clean record either.”

“So you’re worried about our side.”

“Am I crazy to think so?”

“Nope...but I trust Jill maybe nor her handlers and with that I figure I…we better get a look at things to see if we need to get her out from under. Sloan…I’m not too sure of either with her in that enemy of my enemy thing.”

“So still kinda up shit creek.”

“Without a paddle.”

“You have majik use that honey.”

“Really and I’ve just been what sleeping this entire time?”

Shaun raises a questioning eyebrow at me. Yeah I kind of have really…I need to learn and to take things up a notch or fifty we need to get to where I can stop Asmodeus from coming through again only this time everything’s a lot different.

He get off the lamp post and looks at the others picking up the fire axe he got from the club. “So are we going to get this under way or what it’s only a few hours until sunrise and they’ll go to ground then.”

Jill looks at us and nods. She helps Sloan to het escalade and get’s inside talking on her phone. I get into Shaun’s car and we head to the place that we got from the Vamp that Jill had ashed like a samurai.

Jill signals us to part about a block or so away and there’s unmarkeds getting here and undercover vehicles and more people than she had with her since we messed with the demon at the crackhouse.

“What’s this?”

Jill just raises a hand and I feet it…something light us with majik on her back and the light reflecting in her eyes isn’t the same as here, she’s seeing something else. I can feel the contact and it’s from a long ways off.

Then it’s gone though she did turn and look at me and it wasn’t Jill looking at me.

I really…

Jill says. “They sent us another team as back up we’ll cut off a three block radius and try to contain the situation this time.”

I nod. “That’d be better than the stuff at the crack house.”

“Yeah….” Jill’s looking at me again. Yeah it was me there and it wasn’t. shit Maeve’s likely right about this I’m going to have to tell her sometime but I want to know what she’s hooked up with before I let the cat out of the bad with who and what I am.

“Excuse me I have to go talk to the troops.”

I just nod but then go over and sit in Shaun’s car and close my eyes and meditate…think and stuff about what’s going to go down and how to better use what I know.

I get up after awhile and head over to one of the vans they have there and look at one of the agent guys getting outfitted with some of the others in some SWAT styled stuff. I reach over and take a box of ammo from one of the plastic crates they have. “Silver?”

“Yes and you are?”

“I’m with Jill…can I have some of these?”

“Let me clear it with the colonel.”

“Sure.”

He looks at this girl in the front seat and she gets spacey looking then she nods. “Take whatever you need ma’am.”

Ma’am…huh fancy that.

“Thanks.” I take two boxes of shotgun shells and do some thread magic and sewn them into the inside of a black army styled jacket that I take from there and walk back to Shaun’s car and the rest of the time I sit there and ply with some of what I’ve picked up recently magic wise and keep working things doing spells or rather magic figuring out new spells is what I guess the way that’d you call it.

I’m getting looks through from the sensitive types. I frown; they’re feeling it, feeling me.

Okay…

I pull some of my mana and form it around me in a skin and then I concentrate on the feeling of this skin…of me…of me before any of this stuff happened and before the magic when my life wasn’t like this and mix it with my everyday girl me and once I have that firmly inside my mind the feeling of this normal non magical me I pump more energy into that and try to use it between me and what I’m doing.

Shaun was scarfing down some junk food and a chocolate milk stops and he looks at me. “What’d you do?”

“I think I learned how to block getting felt out.”

“Yeah you did. I can’t sense the usual energies that I feel when I’m around you.”

“I have energies you pick up?”

“Basic stuff just feeling power and stuff but you honey are kind of different you’re pretty contained but at the same time when you leak out like you were its kinda nuclear.”

“Nuclear?”

“Yeah you have a lot of energy considering…y’know.”

“Yeah I guess that I do.”

“I can’t feel that now.”

“And neither can the others?”

“Given the few looks just now and the fact that I’m pretty sure it was reported back to Jill yeah I think they’re drawing a blank.”

“Pity.”

“Jill’s pissed.”

“How pissed.”

“She’s not your biggest fan honey I think you just got bumped up in the dangerous supernatural ratings or something.”

“Because I can shield myself now.”

“It makes sense you just made them jumpier.”

“Oh then they’ll really end up getting surprised.”

“Careful…you get too dangerous and they’ll have the urge to bind you or deal with you.”

“Yeah…typical government bullshit.”

“Yep even from a shadow office.”

I see Mom’s truck pulling it and it’s really looking worse for wear and her and Alecia get out and Mom’d favoring her hand and I see two fingers are taped. I walk over and hug her and…sniff… “Oh…that’s why the two of you are the last one’s here.”

She nods looking almost high and glassy eyed. I feel her arm and flash my power through her and get some heavy images… “Whoa…” I move my hand to her fingers and she’s smiling at me in some serious vamp/daywalker sex afterglow. I’m healing her fingers by moving things back together by saturating them with mana and then willing my power to move and then use that power in a mental focus of having her body remember itself hale and whole and then using the energy to feed the cells everything that it needs.

I feel the bones knit and her hand get better. Healing’s pretty easy when it’s this stuff like bones and cuts I’m learning but its energy intense and other stuff since you’re feeding power to cells and affecting a living thing will be really complicated.

My Vietnamese self is in agreement with that and she’s waking/I’m waking a bit with the healing and hint of battle in the air. She was raised in the war and she was learning to be a healer and I can feel some of that resolve settling in and the others moving in to…some of us have all seen some bad things in life in my life and women…like battle nurses often got to see the worst of it.

Mom hugs me and looks at me. “You okay?”

“Yeah just getting ready in my head.”

“You don’t have to go in.”

“Yes, I do…magically if this vampire pulls some green flame magic I’m the only one that really can stop it.”

“Why you though?”

“Mom, it’s happening if it wasn’t me it’d be someone else and honestly I wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone.”

“Okay…are you sure?”

“I have to be.”

While we were talking Alecia and Jill were having one of their moments and there was more friction. Jill’s not a bad person it’s just she’s military and she expects things to get done her way. We’re to her civilians when really it’s sort of the other way around.

I have no idea how long I’ve actually been doing this in my lives but I remember roman soldiers so…and Alecia has been around since The Civil War so there’s going to be some attitude clashes.

Alecia is going in first, she’ll be recognized by Raphael and right now we haven’t hit his children so he doesn’t know that anyone else is gunning for him other than Alecia and we’re hoping that he’ll be pissed enough to focus on her as we filter in.

Hopefully we’ll have time if she keeps him talking, he sounds like he’d be a talker.

She’s heading in and a few minutes later Jill and Sloan are waltzing to the door looking like they’re partying and Jill has a bottle of vodka in her hand and she’s actually pretty good at acting tipsy and stuff and the gothy crowd tends to wear some military clothes and stuff bur we’re dressed for clubbing still too.

Sloan does her part shift and that seems to wow the muscle at the door and they get through and I saunter up with Shaun and I feel out to my shield and pale myself out…kill the whole biological stuff and I smile at the beef there and flash him vamp eyes and fangs with some manipulation of my shield.

We slip inside and I can feel the hairs on my arms raising…everything is telling me that this is a really bad place…Jill and Sloan are staring at me and I give them a wink. Sloan’s grinning and she whispers in Jill’s ear.

I see Alecia moving through the crowd and the place is packed…I think I see some people from back in school her and others too. There’s a lot more people here than I though there’s be.

She stops in front of a VIP section of the club and she’s talking to this guy that looks like Raphael…but he’s not at the power spot in the table. There’s a very gangland looking guy there Hispanic with lots of tattoos and another to the other side that is vamp pale and he’s smoking meth from a pipe…blood red meth…his eyes vamp over then there’s a shimmer of that green in there and in the eyes of the Hispanic fellow too. His eyes go slitted.

Alecia reaches for something and she pulls out a baggy?

She pours the stuff inside out from the bad and it falls in an ashy swirl.

The music stops and every vamp there just went fangs out.

Oh shit…

The fop guy I’m pretty sure that’s Raphael get’s up and goes for Alecia and they’re into the crowd on the floor snarling. The other vamp gets up to interfere and Jill’s walking in towards them like the effing Terminator with two guns in her hands and she’s shooting the vamp or was until he starts moving fast and the Hispanic guy get’s uhm…scaly…like a snake and rushes Jill. Sloan’s in his grill after tossing a smoke grenade behind the bar?

And all hell’s breaking loose now.

Shit, shit, shit… “Alecia! We need him alive!”

Evanescence 26

Previously………..

I see Alecia moving through the crowd and the place is packed…I think I see some people from back in school her and others too. There’s a lot more people here than I though there’d be
.
She stops in front of a VIP section of the club and she’s talking to this guy that looks like Raphael…but he’s not at the power spot in the table. There’s a very gangland looking guy there Hispanic with lots of tattoos and another to the other side that is vamp pale and he’s smoking meth from a pipe…blood red meth…his eyes vamp over then there’s a shimmer of that green in there and in the eyes of the Hispanic fellow too. His eyes go slitted.

Alecia reaches for something and she pulls out a baggy?

She pours the stuff inside out from the bag and it falls in an ashy swirl.
The music stops and every vamp there just went fangs out.
Oh shit…

The fop guy I’m pretty sure that’s Raphael get’s up and goes for Alecia and they’re into the crowd on the floor snarling. The other vamp gets up to interfere and Jill’s walking in towards them like the effing Terminator with two guns in her hands and she’s shooting the vamp or was until he starts moving fast and the Hispanic guy get’s uhm…scaly…like a snake and rushes Jill. Sloan’s in his grill after tossing a smoke grenade behind the bar?

And all hell’s breaking loose now.

Shit, shit, shit… “Alecia! We need him alive!

And Now……..

Chapter 26

Oh shit…

Oh fuck…

Alecia got jumped by the fop and in all the time I took in everything else they hand super speed bashed it out like two super speeded up martial artist and they both rapidly beat the shit out of each other that they both did the blood spit takes from the damage they were doing and Alecia did this repeat action headbutt series that sounded like someone rapping on a door.

Then she has him through his table and staked and that’s…that’s when I yelled at her.

And the douchebag pops a gun from his sleeve and he shoots her point blank.

I hear her scream the once and I figure it was capable of hurting her and there were six more shots after that one.

Alecia falls over backwards a complete effing mess.

I scream seeing red…Alecia’s a friend and she’s under my protection…I said that and I’m screaming at him. “Bastard! Monster, you dishonorable fucking leech!”

I hurl blasts of wind at him handful after handful of air gathered with power and as it comes at him I tighten the entire swirling eddy into a tight thin fast moving disc and cut him up with blades of air.

I know we need him alive but I go for ears and fingers, feet, and one right in his fucking crotch.

He’s screaming in pain and in rage too rolling around on the ground and his eyes are going from vampire red to this shift over to green.

He says something very, very strange sounding and not in his voice…deeper…smoother.

And the hispanic bunch that was with him in the entourage all go green eyed monster and they’re all looking at me and they’re armed…really armed in a bad way knives, hatchets, even a machete…no two…

I don’t freak but I take a breath and I pull…and let my Norse woman step into me and we weave out of the way of a few swings and throw a few punches and they’re good, they’re better than good and one of them with the cleaver slash cuts my arm.

We scream and dance out of the way thinking…trying to and he’s licking the cleaver off.

“Aaaaaaaah…” They all say it at the same time…in all the same voice. “It is you…I’m very happy now.”

“Oh well I wasn’t trying to make this something that you’d enjoy fellas.”

I move and dodge a few swings and I’m kind of on my own here with everyone else fighting for their lives or whatever too.

“Oh you will be enjoyed whore…whore…whore…whore…whore…whore…whore…”

They’re all doing this creepy stereo thing…really creepy.

“Yeah, sorry I have a boyfriend guys.”

I drop and roll and duck under the swing of one of the machete’s and I whip my arm up doing the wind disc trick abut more like a wind blade from the force of my whole arm and take his wrist off with the machete in it.

I do another roll away and to a clear spot and wrap the machete in power and pull it to my hand and let the Norse maiden take over that part…it feels good to have a long blade in our hand. It’s close enough to a sword for a fight like this.

I get to our feet and we crack our neck.

“Evanescence…..” They hiss at us. “I still owe you for interfering with my meal, with my fun…whore….s.”

The cut to my arm…it’s really handy the one I got with the psycho-killer demon.

“Rapture…I thought Andrea sent your ass back to roasty town cockroach?”

They’re faces contort in anger and rage all the same expression…multiple possessions? Some of those tattoos look like they’re majical….not good and not something that this Raphael looks capable of.

Speaking of he’s getting up…and looking to hurt people by the look in his eyes.

Then Rapture’s flanking me and I feel Maeve stepping into me and the others too.

Seven on one?

Even odds.

*Sloan…………

The amped up vampire ditches the pipe and he speeds toward Jill…and me…she’s pulling her guns and firing and she’s using silver and that could kill me or really fuck me up bad if I get hit.

Why the fuck am I even here. I’m a member of the Morrigan’s court, her whip…I should be back home across the barrier reporting to her that the rumors are true that the weapon is back again.

Raine…the cold iron damned Evanescence.

But Jill…

I think I love her and I think that she loves me and she’s human…and if she really, really loves me with everything she has…with her human soul then it doesn’t matter…because she’ll always love me even past death itself.

I want that, I want that more than any reward or power that she can bestow on me.

But Raine…she’s not just Raine; she’s also Jill’s dead lost love.

It’s scary and I don’t do scared…scared just makes me angry.

Hissy boy get’s involved and I toss a smoke to cover the guys at the bar with the guns and I get in his path and he’s still shifting and snaking out.

I shift and pop my blades…spurs on my spine, elbows and forearms and my sharp, sharp claws.

He hisses. “Fae slut.”

“Yuan-ti bootlick.” I hiss back and smile.

He’s fast…as fast as any venomous snake and he’s strong too…like comparing him to a human is like a constrictor to a rabbit.

I’m not a rabbit and he lunges at me and he cut’s at me with venom laced claws and bites and we’re a match for speed but I’m immune to poisons, even most of the other worldly kinds and it turns into a cutting match.

He’s a hitman, a thug an errand boy for the dark southern powers…a demonic take on a Were…I’m an assassin, and I’m better armed. One move with him going for a killing bite to tear out my throat and I give him the opening for it too and let him come down biting with his big old rattler head on both of my forearms and he chomps down on all six of my forearm blades.

I pull then apart when he does and I make a wish.

He’s spray blood and gore everywhere as I take his lower jaw and half of his head off and he’s flailing and some of his others are coming my way and I spin to face them…my right arm flicks up and curls in and I take off the rest of his head with the elbow blade and I’m smiling at them as his corpse hits the floor.

Five on one…that’s tough odds.

*Shaun………….

I watched it happen and all hell started to break loose.

Honestly I was expecting it from what I was seeing wearing the glasses I rigged up.

There was a whole lot of upright and moving people here that shouldn’t be.

Alecia did something to piss off the guy we’re after and the baggy? Well from what I gather from what Donna had said happened at the graveyard that was his sister she poured out over the floor.

Apparently that crossed a line.

And now we’re into the shit…walked into it on purpose right into the lair of a vampire witched up demon that’s is apparently part of this whole plot to bring back this Asmodeus guy from hell and back here to life on earth where he’ll let loose the armies of hell and proceed to fuck the lot of us.

And my girlfriend is the only thing that’s supposed to be able to stop him?

And my sister is agent friggin K in the paranormal Men in Black and …I thought my life was so completely fucked up with me sparking and becoming a mage. I though my life will never be the same and no one will get it…get me.

I honestly think sometimes that I’m the most normal one here.

Heck even Raine’s mom is in a lesbian relationship with Alecia.

Oh she’s our vampyre only she not just our vampyre she’s a daywalker or something so even our vamps are all fucked up.

My life…my life is Charmed and True Blood mixed together and written by Joss Wheydon.

I hear gunshots and I see in the blur of the fighting with the vamp we’re hunting Alecia go down and the asshole’s has a gun.

Raine has a fit and does some kind of nasty shit wind spell and cuts him up really badly…uhm…yeah I think that’s the man hating lesbian valkryie woman…

Fuupp…he get’s one of those blade shots to the balls.

Yeah that’s the lesbian man-hater.

And that’s when shit really hits the fan and he’s screaming stuff and I’m in the middle of a fight with vamps in the middle of their territory.

It’s a good thing I’m getting better at this Faraday majik. It’s just a nick name like being called a Tesla or an Edison. I’m an electrical mage and fighting vamps I need it too. Oh it’s not like I can fry them. I’m nowhere near that powerful since all it does is burn dead meat but I’m alive and that means that I can boost my own systems. Nerve conduction and the way that the muscle fibers react to my current and it’s better than just the theory behind boosting them I actually was taught the strength spells and speed spells specific to our family by grandpa.

So I’m really boosted and protected from doing damage to myself as long as I can keep the energy up and into the spell.

I’m about on par with a vampire one on one but we’re really getting outnumbered unless Raine does her super witchy thing some how and saves our asses again.

I have a fire axe that sort of helps.

I’m still getting beat on and I’m just really trying to ne get killed.

*Jill………..

I was expecting fast and I was expecting it to be the druggie. He eyeballed me. And I was drawing my guns as soon as I saw the shift in the way he looked at me from amused to fun. He was dropping the pipe and coming at me like a vampire on speed.

I’ve been doing this awhile y’know and demon, monster, fae thing, vamp or some Taliban woman hater in the Afghani hills the look is the same when they see and fairly well breasted blonde woman no matter what I’m wearing.

Fun…then they go to I’m going to hurt you fun.

Crackpipe is no exception either and he’s got that asshole like any other asshole look on his face until the first silver bound rowan ash slug pumps into him from my desert eagle.

He screams and drops doing the funky chicken and smolder as ash is overtaking him and it’s stained green.

The ass we’re after shoots Alecia and it’s her own stupid fault. Never once in my life have I ever though some supernatural bug-a-boo isn’t packing. If it was human or can take human form then it can be packing a gun.

I mean jeebus…hello…Tara?...Buffy?...Warren.

I turn and it’s a good thing that I have Shaun’s glasses on he made up because it’s certainly helping me take then out. They’re coming at me and at Shaun and we’re being mobbed and then I’m out of bullets in my clips and literally no time to change clips with vamps and their speed pressing down on us.

I want to help Sloan and keep by her but Shaun’s my little brother and I try to get as close to him as I can and not get into the line of attack with him and his fire axe.

*Raine…………

We’re weaving and dodging but we’re also blocking too and though some of me has fought most of me has not and it’s starting to get to where Rapture’s skill and twisted sadism is laying small cuts on me and it’s hurting.

We are not happy especially with the blunt side strike from a hatchet to the side of my head and a knife scrap across one of my breasts.

Inside of me there is a change when I’m pretty sure that we’re losing.

I feel Maeve pull back from us, from me…

~Maeve?~

~Give me some time.~

~Okay.~

I can feel her centering inside of me and there’s this deep pull on my magic inside and I fight even harder to just offset the wash of dizziness that flooded me.

~Maeve!~

Nothing but she’s there and she’s doing something…

(Sexy humming.)

~Maeve!~

(Sexing singing just tones, harmonies.)

~Maeve?~

(The song is so familiar.)

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see…

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me…

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems…

Got to open my eyes to everything.

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul

Don't let me die here…

There must be something more…. (I can feel it, feel Maeve but more too, I can feel her
Like the way that she was when she was alive and when
she was like me….)

Bring us….. to life…!

Us…

Us….Me and Maeve…one of the other Evanescence’s before me…not the one that defeat Asmodeus but she was still one before she died killed and hunted down by Rapture.

And now…

Kella…Celtic, shepherd’s daughter.

Claire…Gaulic and buttermaker and hedgewitch.

Anika…Germanic and a midwife of some powers.

Quinn…Welsh, and a boy with the power who knew that he should’ve always been a girl.

Deilia…A Scotswoman and a woolcarder and a fine hand with medicines and the healer’s needle.

Kendra…A roman owned African slave woman kept close to the regiment for her healing hands.

I’m…so…full…so much here and we’re in it bad and deep and I see things…see.

*Stevie…………

We’re just getting to town or I think that this is the town and it’s in the middle of the night and I look over at Athena…Andrea and yawn.

“You sure that we’re in the right place?”

“I’m sure I’ve been here before.”

“Was she there then?”

“Likely not Hoover was president.”

I roll my eyes and she takes the exit off the highway and she slows down over the over pass for on the bridge part of it and she’s staring off into the night.

“What?”

“Look.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“No…LOOK.”

I look at it channeling power to my senses.

There’s a huge beacon lighting up the majikal area calling me pulling me and Andrea has it floored.

“You sure that’s her?”

“I’m sure…it’s the way we first met.”

I roll down the window and am smelling the wind when Erica touches my mind…we converse and trade and then…then there’s this scent this smell on the wind.

I don’t like it.

Andrea’s cross around her neck is shimmering.

“’Drea?”

She looks down. “Effing leeches.”

“Vampires?”

“Yeah, a lot of them if it’s shining from this far away.”

That and the smell has me shifting and growling too… “Step on it, she needs help.”

Evanescence 27

*Before…………

Us….Me and Maeve…one of the other Evanescence’s before me…not the one that defeat Asmodeus but she was still one before she died killed and hunted down by Rapture. We call on others inside us together waking more of us...me...the before me's.

*And now…

Kella…Celtic, shepherd’s daughter.

Claire…Gaulic and buttermaker and hedgewitch.

Anika…Germanic and a midwife of some powers.

Quinn…Welsh, and a boy with the power who knew that he should’ve always been a girl.

Delia…A Scotswoman and a woolcarder and a fine hand with medicines and the healer’s needle.

Kendra…A roman owned African slave woman kept close to the regiment for her healing hands.

I’m…so…full…so much here and we’re in it bad and deep and I see things…see.

“Aaaaah!!!”

I scream…we scream and in multiple voices and I/We turn on the bastard demon Rapture and I can see the hell in him the foulness reeking off of him into his host like toxic waste from the movies.

He tried to butcher kids in from of me.

He killed Maeve and led his Romans into Britannia and he butchered people, her people countless others in his demonic madman’s quest.

He’s come after me, after us and he’s taken the lives of lovers, loved ones and innocents all because of this…this…

Why?

Why did this war even start! Why are we the one’s fighting it!

“This fucking ends now!”

Blades of air…

Spun air so fine and fast it becomes hard from the very turbulence…these hardened discs I send them at him. Bursts of three and three then five they cut into him well his host and they do some damage but the thing he’s wearing it’s tough, made to house him according to my Kendra memories of some of the tat’s we’re seeing.

He swings on us and we move and dodge and the majik I use to make the discs I use and fuse into a shimmering sword and use it as those within me that have used a long blade take over to counter his knife.

I fall into myself right in the middle of the fight with other versions of me still in the fore of myself fighting I reach…looking, looking for a way to end this and to end him…forever…no getting sent back to Hell…I want him gone.

It’s just not there and with a frustrated cry inside I rise to the surface.

“Is that you screaming in there Hooker? Can you see it now; can you smell me with your new body?”

I can feel Molly there confused but still pulled away, huddled inside of me.

“Oh c’mon Hooker, Little witch, Little bitch…” His voice…his voice is changing?

I know that voice…she knows the voice.

Drake…Drake a friend…another sex worker…another spell worker…another addict.

Memories are flooding up.

Me and him smoking up…me tending his bruises from Johns…

Us hanging out in the rain drinking pastiche in the rain sheltering under a waking bridge in central part…smoking cheap ass black market Chinese smokes and thinking we were cool.

Me…Molly showing him her magic.

Being lovers…sharing needles.

Showing him magic…little things…he had talent, the touch…

………………………………............................Then…that night…he…he showed me him able to move things…little things but still…that he made little balls of light…then we kissed.

Made love.

Got high…heroin…black…sweet…So high…so fucking high…and into it…into the magic we had…what we shared.

I remember laying there…dreamy high…afterglow…drunk too….and Drake with the spoon again…the candle…the needle.

~No…Drake…no…I’m too lit…~

~It’ll be okay baby, I’ll make things so much better.~

~Better? Ish…awesome…~

~Better…the master promised it’ll be better, but you have to go away Molly.~

The needle jabs into my…another track but one I never asked for.

I…

He…

………………………………...I can’t hold back and Molly’s front and center inside me almost pushing me away, dragging me down…I feel her reach and grab onto our power.

*** Jill………..

I’m fighting and get my blade through another one of these things trying to fang my little brother and I hear a scream coming from Raine. I block another vampire trying to take my arm off and pop a round into his heart and he goes green dust.

And I see Raine…I see her shape change and become…

Molly….My Molly…..

*** Raine/Molly…………

Drake…Rapture…

He…

“I didn’t do it!”

He laughs and lunges with the knife. “No…no you didn’t babe, you were a good one…a part of my pact.”

“Pact…you…” We barely get the wind blade up in time to block the strike and there’s force rippling through both of us…I think the floor cracked a little. He leans in our blades locked.

“Yeah, I did! I wanted the power, needed it!”

“I loved you, you were my best friend!” I pull the blade out and down and I got at him…all the pain, all the betrayal just bubbling up and all the consciousness that I have had…thinking…thinking and not remembering the stuff from my overdose.

My murder! He betrayed me, he murdered me.

“Oh Molly…Molly, nobody has ever loved you!”

(Sob!) I can’t help it…the words hurt so much. Drake/Rapture’s blade hurts even worse…he’s so fast when he cuts my arm, my side. (Pain-scream.)

There’s something on the blade…the cuts burn like acid.

It’s hard to breath immediately.

The blade flashes at me and there’s a shing as Jill catches it on her blade and brings her gun up towards his head.

“Wrong meat sack I loved her!”

*** Shaun………….

Jill was a help two down when shit goes crazy.

Crazier.

She actually shape shifts…shifts into one of her other selves…lives.

I didn’t think they could do that? I mean that will be so effed up if they start taking Raine over.

I’m not sure what I’ll have to do about that.

I’m not sure what I’ll do about this…her…and Jill…because it’s Molly. My sisters ex-lover, the girl she was going to retire from the forces for.

And apparently this guy that has the demon riding in him murdered her.

Jill leaves my side to do what she has to do.

I can handle my end.

Push the power, make my muscles move harder and faster…it’s actually like medical physics and that stuff. It’s thankfully not Buffy where becoming a vampire makes you like a martial artist or something so I’m actually doing pretty good since these guys aren’t any better at fisting than I am….we’ve all fought though before so it is pretty down and out.

I might not be able to shock them or roast them but I do have an axe…and you take a vamps head off and they dust like you staked them.

Sloan’s a whirlwind of death though…I know next to nothing about the fae except my grandfather doesn’t like them and his farm was pretty well blocked to them with lots of metal and stuff around.

I don’t think it was a history or mage thing but it seemed personal.

Grandma too, though I think she’d be less ornery about things than him.

I drop these last two and I see Raine get cut and blood flies and she…Molly screams and I’m a few steps behind her swinging my axe.

He’s not undead.

*** Stevie…………

We’ve got it floored and the beacon we’re seeing is flickering out.

Andrea’s cursing and taking us around corners and the tires are squealing as we do and I’m on my phone calling Dorian and Shadira and trying to give streets and turns as we’re making them and we go into a wild spin as a police motorcycle comes crashing in through the window of the car.

I get out of the car and demi-shift enough to kick in some healing and there’s fighting going on as there’s like all these kids? Well like street kids or party kids and they’re eyes are shimmering green and then there’s vampires fighting with cops? No soldiers of some kind?

Then there’s a leech coming at me and I charge mana together imaging and converting it into fire and fire blasting the them to ashes.

Andrea is shooting some of these kids…in the thighs…hurting them but not killing them but she’s heading pretty intently towards this nightclub that all these things are coming from.

I duck a vamp and come up with a claw uppercut slicing him good and then I’m bumping into this guy in a suit with the whole g-man and man in black thing and we’re back to back.

“What the fuck are you?” He asks shooting his gun and then snapping out a baton.

“Back up.” I duck a hit and shove my palm filled with power into this green eyed girl pushing power into her brain…. ~Sleep.~

She goes down but that green…it’s like the shit from before.

“No like what?” He snapped his baton out blocking a punch headed my way.

“Stevie.”

“I said…”

“Yes and lovely manners really.”

“Good point…Stevie…I’m Chris.”

“Nice to meet you.” I duck a swing and send the vamp backwards with a force push the get him off of me then I fire blast him apart.

“Thanks for the back up.” He thumps me in the chest with his gun arm and fires off five or six rounds dusting a vamp. “Welcome to Sunnydale.”

Evanescence 28

Chapter 28

*Before…

“Oh Molly…Molly, nobody has ever loved you!”

(Sob!) I can’t help it…the words hurt so much. Drake/Rapture’s blade hurts even worse…he’s so fast when he cuts my arm, my side. (Pain-scream.)

There’s something on the blade…the cuts burn like acid.

It’s hard to breath immediately.

The blade flashes at me and there’s a shing as Jill catches it on her blade and brings her gun up towards his head.

“Wrong meat sack I loved her!”

*And Now…

*Molly/Raine…………

Drake…Drake with the demon riding in him smiles and it’s his but not his smile and it’s the same smile as the sick thing that wanted those kids.

He moves or it moves him out of the way of Jill’s gunshots like he sort of blurs or something he’s so fast and then Shaun’s swinging his axe past me at him too.

There’s a swish as it goes past my hair as fast as anything and I fall to my butt from double shock going on and some hairs are falling down.

I’m sort of seeing blurred images as Drake and Rapture is fighting switchs on these bubbles of memories of me and him but not me and him and then there’s…my head is splitting!

There’s too many voices!

I’m me!

Dammit I’m me!

My arm hurts…hurts but a little hurt the kiss sting of a needle and the past…so close blurs into focus and he’s…he’s…and I’m dying…so high…but a high I didn’t want being pulled away to an oblivion I didn’t want.

Everything fades away….

…………………………..

…………………………..

Everything was cold…….

The world was all in black and white and all the colors had washed out of it.

I looked around it was my place but Drake was gone, our stuff was gone…and the place had actually been painted?

It looked fresh but I couldn’t tell what color it was, couldn’t smell the paint or the funk or anything.

I walked around the squat and my books were gone, my censers and bowls and stones and crystals everything was gone.

Even my sacred Athame was gone from there…everything I ever had was gone, taken, missing.

I walked outside with all of the grey people/

How did I get outside? I can’t remember the door or the stairs?

Then…all the grey people in a grey world, nothing there of color at all.

And no one saw me.

It was awhile…I don’t know how long before I knew…

No accepted that I was dead.

I was dead and my shade was wandering the earth…the goddess hadn’t carried me over.

No Heaven for Heaven.

The Jillian…Jill…

I remembered Jill.

I met Jill when she’d come to New York during Fleet Week.

I was working and I had always gotten good trade from the men but this was the first time that I had ever really come face to face with a navy woman in her uniform and instead of the usual pander from the guys it was.

“Do you want to dance?”

I looked at her and those grey eyes of hers like a stormy ocean and smiled and took a drink of my drink.

“You know what I am right?”

She nodded. “I’m lonely and honestly I don’t want the bullshit.”

There was something there, something that had been hurt from a past relationship and while she was my first woman like that it wasn’t the first person I had been with like that.

That’s one of the things that a whole lot of people don’t know about the sex trade…they see all the dirty sides but sometimes we’re just there…we’re the people that get the need for more than a conversation.

We do that too but sometimes we’re the option for those without options.

Two of my regulars are transwomen…were…I mean I was am…the past tense.

They were nice women even if we did use their stuff it was different and it wasn’t a money thing…it could’ve been but really they couldn’t afford it.

Alana made the best in the oven BBQ chicken and she made me take food home every time I was over.

Julie had the best pot, I mean really great amazing weed. She was part of some grow op or something and she knew a lot of the old hippies and stuff in the city.

There’s this warm feeling at these memories inside of me…this something…something else that’s there.

Should be?

Anyways…yeah Jill was actually like them…she just needed uncomplicated. Her last girlfriend was…well she wasn’t faithful and Jill had loved her and when they had broken up it had been while Jill was away…she hadn’t even known until she came home to an empty place and their accounts cleaned out and no sign of whoever anywhere.

It was really slow going but it was nice…Jill actually called ahead…sent me things from her trips just because…hell a lot of my books were things she had bought me because I was into it.

We were falling in love.
I think we were.

I was…I know I was… “Jill…” (Sob!)

And then I was there…in the rain and at a graveyard and Jill was there…no umbrella…just her in her black field jacket with her hands in her pockets and she’s crying.

Sad living tears are a sort of shimmery deep blue in the world of the dead.

It’s the first color I’ve seen here…

I walk to her and I try and hug her from behind.

It makes her cry harder…she kneels and hugs herself and she cries.

I touch her cheek or try too and she’s looking at the sky…at me…can she feel me?

I move around to get in front of her dropping to both of my knees and I see my Athame on top of my gravestone.

My gravestone that she had bought me…I wouldn’t have it any other way and the whole thing is beautiful really, even this spot too close to two maples…she knew I loved fall leaves…. (Sob!)

My Athame is shimmering…I can feel and see the mana in it…I had used it so much since I had gotten it…the lady at the flea market really had no clue.

~Yes I did Molly. ~

I look and the old granny that sold me it is there?

In Color.

It’s HER…

THE GODDESS… and she’s an old sixtyish black woman with freckles and no bra and a sweater and orthopedic shoes?

SHE smiles. ~Of course I am. ~

Of course SHE is.

~Why are you here?”~

~It’s time to go. ~
~Go where? ~

~To your future, to say goodbye to your Jill. ~

~I…I get to…I get to tell her goodbye? ~

SHE has this really, really sad look on her face and she’s nodding. ~Yes, I promise you that you will Molly yes. ~

~Okay…I’m ready…what do I do? ~

She extends her hand.

I reach to take it.

~Molly, take your Athame you’ll need it. ~

I reach out and it’s solid to me and I take it and then I take her hand.

........................................
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*Jill…………

I knew…

I knew that something, that something was out there, that there were things that I just couldn’t explain.

I reasoned with myself so much before it happened.

The last time I had seen Molly…the last time I’d been to her grave and I had set her dagger thing on the headstone…she had been into that stuff.

Then I swore I could feel her…it was like I could almost touch her that I could almost feel her touching me and then…

And then her dagger was gone.

There was no one around me, no one in eyeshot and it was gone.

*And now…Jill

And I just saw Raine…the strange as hell; magical transgirl that my brother has been seeing and sleeping with…saw her become my Molly…
And as much as I’ve seen, as much as I’ve hunted down and I’ve fought every part of me is screaming that this is real and that’s Molly…my Molly and he murdered her.

This thing…this witch boy guy warlock whatever he is with the sickly green glowing eyes.

Thing because I’m good, I’m damned good and I’m one of the damned few women to qualify for the teams that I was on.

And it’s keeping up with me and my snap blade and my gun….plus my brother and his axe.

Nothing human moves that fast…hits that hard…his knife is gouging into my blade and my gun.

And I’m a baseline, that’s to say that I’ve nothing with me that equalizes whatever these things and people have over me other than gear and experience.

These things are arrogant, especially things that are of this type.

Demons and devils and all these other predatory bugga-boos that feed off us in the dark.

Fear, good fear takes hold as I’m getting a handle on the feelings rushing through me and I break off before his magic does more damage to my gun and my blade. It’s good stuff all of it but when you’re up against that much raw power it can’t last unless it’s got some of it’s own juice to counter the power of the demon guy’s blade.

Shaun steps in as I break it off.

*Shaun…………

Clearing the vamps I do a boosted push to get at the demon thing, it’s the thing that was in the guy in the warehouse with the kids that Raine told me about.

And I come at him with the fire are and I’m boosting my strength and my speed pushing my lightning magic through my muscles and nerves. I’m swinging and spinning and trying to use speed and strength to keep up the momentum with this axe and the other attacks that I’m sending his way.

He blocks them all and my power just doesn’t match his and there’s big assed gouges being put into my axe from the knife he has and he’s older too…so much older and he just knows more so I get a couple of blows in like three axe swings and a punch that he dodges before he slips his own punches and jabs and knees into all the openings and I’m sent to my knees with an elbow I never seen coming and there’s a flash of green energy covered metal and another scream and Sloan’s in front of me his blade thrust shoved aside from a strike to my heart by her arm. There’s blood and she’s lost those spur things those blades that come out of her arm from her fae shift.

Grand dad’s going to hate eating crow because of this one, he’s like I said not a fan of the fae and here I am getting my ass save by one of them and a dark fae to boot.

Jill grabs me and she pulls me away from the demon and Sloan. “C’mon we’re out of our league and outgunned here!”

Then she grabs Raine/Molly too and pulls her back with us.

*Sloan…………

Never.

Never ever have I ever done something so stick brained ad taking a hit from a demon for a mortal and worse a mortal with power.

To us the fact that humans have power is an affront.

In the old times we of the fae were the leaders and the caretakers of the worlds, not just ours but all of them and humans had their places, they were part of the world as much as for frolic as for food.

Aye food.

Then came the days of when man met the gods, and the gods came from elsewhere drawn to the power inside of mankind…they assumed the likeness of man or elements and they fed of the faith in order to fight a war with things that we have long driven off from all the realms that we had touched.

The Old Ones.

We the fae were the first of races spawned from the dream of creation that live could rise and be like what made it.

And the Old Ones were the darkness that fought the coming of the light and they took all that was evil and beyond evil with them into the void.

And still we stayed apart from them until the great betrayal…a titan a being took what we elder being knew of magic and he taught it to humans.

And there has been bad blood over that and over humans being able to do that especially since along with those that carried our blood from frolic had strong magic within them.

There has been a back and forth between mankind and fae since those times…yes there’s other factors and parties but there you go…mankind with magic is to us like…well the danger is unrelenting.

And here I am defending a human mage and he’s the brother to my mortal lover and he’s sleeping with the human and gods made equivalent of a nuclear weapon.

And it’s actually alright because it’s a demon and its meat puppet.

Demons are…they are offshoots of the one true god pantheon…they are part the whole thing with the god with the big G and his minion the fallen Arch-Angel Lucifer…and they’re war with each other…big G made war through humans on the old gods and their followers and had pretty much won and then came the whole divide and there was this huge war that spilled over into all of the earths and Lucifer and the demons stole the darkest of lore and powers of things that should not have been resurrected and further and further damned themselves as they raised an army to retake creation by any means.

Any means and when then took the earth that became their hell billions died and there were fae in there too…and more in their invasions and it was in this realm that they were finally stopped.

So…fae, no matter how dark…we’re all immortal enemies with the hell spawned.

The wound burns me…like acid and the magic fades out against mine…it doesn’t affect me like it does the humans and his knife it’s no longer true steel or iron once he’s put that much power into it.

I waste no time…mana flows through me and I body mold and spit poisoned needles at him and boost my regen and my speed and power… the laws of mana containment do not apply here.

Yes, there are laws of cause and effect where we can only draw so much power here in this earth in relation to other mystical energy.

Leylines, old places of power, and other supernatural beings. I’m facing a creature with a lot of other realmly powers so much so the gloves are off for me…it’s like the sinkhole in his space time interacts with mine and it’s bigger so more power from my realm pours through.

I move as fast as I can using fist and claws and I close it up with him and his meat puppet and I have speed and strength and he can’t fight me like he did Shaun, I’m the Morrigan’s whip assassin and enforcer and that comes with a lot of fighting and fists and as he’s blocking those I burst in with knees and shin kicks and while he’s taking those or blocking those with his own kicks I’m using my claws…a closed fist going in means a released and clawed attempt to rake out and then there’s my spurs on my good arm and then my bladed elbow spike and venomed needle spit and I’m giving him no quarter and he’s still grinning like the demon that he is and I can see and feel his meat puppet is nearly gone…it’s no longer human at all at this point.

I’m chanting too…trying a spell to fill those lungs with water and he’s chanting as well and that’s where it gets dangerous…green flames from his master forming in his hand and I feel this power suck in the drowning spell that I have cast.

I am fast and I am strong and I’m landing blows I’m fracturing things and slicing him and cutting him and he’s drawing those motes of green hell made power into him and regening and more…more and more he’s becoming something else as the power is getting to his meat puppet, the intoxication of it and being unstoppable and the power of magic and the more his already damned soul gives over to the demon the more the regen is shifting him into being a cambion…a demon human hybrid.

A blow gets through…

That hand gets through and in an infecting flash of power it runs through me and I scream as I see in that power this gaunt thing with a rotten staff a mummy like this desiccated husk with eyes that burn so white they remind me of frostbite…the spell a link…to it lasting a human heartbeat and the water, the elemental energy of water within me is being ripped apart and eaten by this hell born spell…

Famine…Famine! He’s feeding me to Famine!

It’s all I can feel and he’s all I can see until everything white out.

*Athena/Andrea…………

It’s a nest and it’s a demon nest…cult but it’s blended with a vamp nest and I’ve never seen the like of this before…both demons and vampires dislike each other…The Beast…the thing that feeds in the dark does not like competition and it is old, it is one of the old darkest things that was driven back by gods and men during the battles against the old ones…demons taint their food…a true witch with a pact cannot be turned they cannot even truly be fed on as blood is the link to the power they feed on.

And those that are turned into vampires cannot be possessed they cannot be charmed nor beguiled or swayed and a vampire can smell the tainted blood.

That these two plagues are together does not bode well and the verdant sick green I’m seeing does not either.

I know this color, I know this power it’s that of Asmodeus…the arch angel of pain, the lord of thorns, Satan’s rose, the flame of spring…that color is called witchfire.

And in the war between heaven and hell when it was the angels and the earliest of man this color was everywhere for no other demon or fallen angel had as many witches sworn unto them…not even Satan.

I’m saving my goddess power for the undead and I’m trying to leave the demon touched for Shadira.

I am still a goddess though and while I have the faintest of worship I still have power and while I don’t have my armor or my spear or my axe or my other weapons I can still do somethings.

Like bless weapons…it’s an old Olympian spell in the olden days it was used on arrows and such to turn them into gold and bless them with the favor of the gods.

I agree it was a gaudy act and it was showy and that was a lot of what the old ways were like.

Another reason why I’ve stayed on earth or returned to it so much…learning, invention, and my faith.

I’ve been very persona-non-grata home on Olympus since I accepted baptism and became Christian.

But my gold gets called forth once again and The Star of David encircles the roundness of my hollow points and my gold slides to the side of each round underneath the jackets with crosses linked together by chains of words…

“Our Father in Heaven.”
“Hollow pointed be thy way.”
“Your Kingdom come.”
“Your will be done.”
“On this day as it was before.”
“When evil hath walked the earth.”
“Shield us once more from abomination.”
“And deliver us from evil.”
“Amen.”

The words are small and prayer is prayer…but I put some of my faith into it as well as some of my own mana into it and render these witch-vampires into ashes.

I can feel it though… feel it growing stronger down there underneath of us and I move to head inside flashing my FBI badge and ID and Shadira is following me.

*Shadira…………

We got here late and as we got closer and closer the voices started…true voices from home, from the other messengers and then we were there.

A hive of undead and the feelings…it was like.

Knowing there’s cancer then actually finding out you have it…it was this feeling of malignancy on my skin that was just…I wanted so much to wretch and then the second feeling hit me and that was feeling the demonic essence.

The only way that I can really describe a demon is…

Man is god’s children, his purest hope and love.

Demon’s possess and take and they corrupt and damage them in a way that I can only describe as being…it’s like seeing pedophilia happening right in front of you.

The voices get to becoming a choir and an angry song at that and I sing with them…I let the music fill myself up inside and I become…light…not…more and less and a little bit of everything.

The undead burn at my touch…we are antithetical to each other…the infected…Allah (pbuh) has granted me dominion over this evil and all that it has done and tainted and touched inside them…I pit his power against that of the creature from the pit…and it loses as I drive out the green fire and the poison of the drugs and that addiction and heal them of the curse of it…clean their hearts or the things that they did while under its power…well…not me but him…I am just the messenger.

What happens between them and god is between them…but all a touch are healed…and all are curled on the ground afterwards weeping.

And then…it’s clearer, my way is clearer and I call his wings given me back into myself and I shift my robes to a simple long coat of white with golden trimmings and I call his sword for me into my hand as I follow Agent DeMaggio into this place and down and toward the demon that I feel there…

The stronger it’s getting the bigger a cancerous hole it’s making in the world…

There are more eyes of red and green waiting for us in the lobby.

*Stevie…………

I look at Chris and I grab the arm that thumped into me and us it to hold him as I yank him away from a vamp swinging its claws for his head and spin us around all the way so he can shoot her in the face before I let go.

“Sunnydale’s in California this is Michigan.”

“Oh, well I don’t have a thing for that.”

“Well good as seeing as this is definitely not TV.”

“You’re right if this was TV then I’m be Xander Harris.”

“Well I’m not Willow or Anya I’m more like Tara.”

He looks at me. “Seriously?”

“Uhm yeah seriously.”

I duck a swing by a vamp and it goes to ashes as Andrea shoots it with some kind of special bullet or something and I charge up another flame spell and I hurl it into another vamp headed our way. “These damned things are coming out of the woodwork!”

He shoots two more and changes clips while I step in and start trading off blows with three that rush us and I shift from partial to full half wolf and hulk out and smash and bash and claw and rend while I snarl and throw the chunks and limbs I’m tearing off well and away from them to make regeneration a bitch.

He cocks his guns and steps up as I step back and close to him and shift back down to hybrid form. He starts shooting again and this time at some of these infected street kids, not to kill but legs and other cop or fed trained disabling areas.

“Wait…wolf and a mage…that’s not like allowed.”

“Sorry, I’m not a girl that plays by the rules.”

“No shit the other tribes will want you dead and the fae too.”

“Yeah, yeah no magery is to cross with pack mana. Well too fucking bad for all of them since I never signed those accords.”

“I thought that you were bound by blood magic to that stuff.”

“I’m not blood pack I’m the chosen mate and widow of the old alpha.”

“But that should have still bound you.”

“Bonds and oaths that are unwilling are curse magic and when it comes to being unwilling under curses there are ways out.”

“Ways out?”

“I made my saving throw.”

He bursts out laughing and we’re defending each other and then we’re moving as we’re suddenly backing up some of the other Fed looking types here or whatever these people are that aren’t fairing so well against these things the infected kids that don’t seem to think or feel pain…and the vampires.

“Just my luck I find a pretty girl that’s cool and stuff and she’s definitely not into me.”

“Sorry the only way we’d be going out for coffee and a burger Chris is if you were a girl.”

~yeah well sort of…~

I caught the stray thought…and the feelings and stuff with it are…?

Erica like.