It was the the beginning of the summer of 1962. I came home from the last day of school and entered into my home.

My mother was there and my other siblings were off already playing with other kids in the neighborhood. My older brother Charles was in the local juvenile facilities for some other stupid crime he had committed. My mother was sitting at the kitchen table sobbing and looked at me with a desperate look upon her face.

I ask her what was wrong, she said that Charles was being sent to the state's reform school, probably until he was 18, maybe even 21. She went on about how she was concerned for me as I was nearing my tween years and was worried that I would soon follow him into the states correctional system. I was only 12, but I did feel of the the loss of my older brother. He was 14 and had been arrested on numerous charges over the last 6 years. His latest escapade caused damages in the thousands of dollars. He and a couple of friends had broken into the the new car barns by the railroad tracks. Since they had keys in them they had started them and raced them around inside the large warehouse. He crashed into several of the other cars and was injured. The cops caught him inside,

unconcious behind the wheel of the car.

I told my mother not to worry, as I wouldn't get into the trouble my brother had caused. She just looked at me as if trying to decide what to do. I know she was fearful of the gangs in the neighborhood and how they got other boys to join in their activities, most illegal. She even stated that the peer pressure would get stronger agianst me and that a momentary slip would put me onto the same path as my brother Charles.

School had been out for a little over a week when while out with couple of the guys I got into some trouble. We had been throwing rocks at a couple of homes, I thought they were empty. I had never seen anybody go into the one three doors down from us. The old curtains on the windows were never opened, nor the windows for that matter.

Anyway one the rocks went right through the large picture window infront of the house. This man came running out of it yelling at us. I panicked and attempted to runbut was caught almost immediately. The man grabbed me and said I know where you live, the other guys had gotten away. He wanted their names, but I remained quiet, I didn't want to rat out my friends. He dragged me down to my home and upon to the porch. My mother came to the door to see what was all the ruckus about. The man screamed at my mother at what I had done and demanded payment for the damages or he was going to call the cops. She invited him into our home and went and got her purse. After talking for a bit they decided on an amount, she paid him and he left. I was sitting on the couch, petrified as I knew my mothers' ire had been stoked. I didn't know if I was going to be spanked or what, I just sat there unmoving.

After the man left she came over to the couch and sat down beside me. She told me things were going to change, she just couldn't take this anymore. At that she said I was grounded for the rest of the week, no playing, no television or anything. she then sent me to my room. I knew I'd gotten away without being spanked, to that I was relieved. I knew not to press the punishment for her anger was near the boiling point, so I just went on up to my room. A little while later I heard her on the phone with someone, but couldn't make out the words to well. I did know she was telling someone of what I had done. A few minutes later she called me from downstairs and said she was going out and taking my two younger siblings with her. That I was not to go anywhere or else, I was to stay in my room. Nor even to answer the door if someone came to the house.

It seemed to me that she had been gone all day, but really it was only for a couple of hours. Do you know how boring it is when you have no one to talk to, or unable to watch TV. So some time while she was gone I had fallen asleep on my bed. It was near sunset when I heard her calling to me. "Are you up there?" "Robert, answer me now"

I mumble something but it was garbled. She was on her way up the stairs and was calling me again, I answered loudly this time "I'm here, I was asleep". She stopped and went back downstairs, at the bottom she called up "dinner will be ready in an hour, I'll call you down then" Oh great, more boring time in the solitude of my room. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I looked about my room for something to do. My electric train was of no use, Charles had broken it messing with the transformer. I had put together all of the model car kits and my science kits were in the basement. I then looked over to my library and retrieved a book I hadn't finished. I may have my faults, but I was a rabid reader. I loved books and most things printed. I actually read the daily newspaper from front page to the last. I enjoyed the more intellectual comics, then those of Popeye or Captain America. I just wasn't into the violence depicted in these. The only section of the newspaper I didn't like was the sports, I hated them, never wanted to play them like most boys. I was a boy scout for awhile, but other then the nature walks, I just wasn't into the more rugged stuff or playing baseball or football with them. I read all of Ann Landers columns, she seemed so smart and worldly to me. I also read the fashion sections with what my mother thought was kind of over the hill. I enjoyed seeing the debutantes in their fancy dresses but didn't know why. Anyway I started to read where I'd left off in the book until i heard my mother calling to come down for dinner.

I went on downstairs and sat at the table, my little brother Randall and my Sister Pamela were already at the table waiting like hungry vultures for their meals. Randall was only 7 and very short for his age, Pamela was almost 6, but was nearly as tall as Randall. They both had this dishwater blonde hair and looked almost impished compared to me. Although I was far from the Mr. America look most boys strived to appear. I was thin with light brown hair and only about five foot tall, maybe a couple of inches over. My mother called for me to assist her with getting the two younger ones fed, so I dished out their meat and potatoes with a vegetable. My mother insisted that we eat at least one full meal, and at least one helping. Randall turned his nose at the brussel sprouts, but knew he had to eat them or no dessert. He had tried to refuse before and wound up having them for breakfast. Dinner went on without incident the rest of the evening. At about 8 o'clock it was time for the younger ones to go to bed. I assisted Randall with his pajamas and he scurried on to his bed and was soon asleep.

My mother bath my sister and had put her to bed. As I started back towards my room my mother stopped me and said in ten minutes she wanted me downstairs, as she had decided as to what she was going to do in regards to my earlier escapade. I had thought it was overwith, I thought my grounding was it plus the banishment to my room.

I said "okay" and went on into my room.

Ten minutes later I went downstairs, my mother was sitting in her favorite chair, the TV was off and she had a couple bages in front of her from the Atlantic Mills department store. They weren't like the cheap thin bags they use today, you couldn't see through them. She told me to have a seat on the floor in front of her as she wanted to talk, but it was really she wanted to tell me my punishment or the changes she had mentioned previously.

After a couple of awkward minutes she took a deep breath and started. "You know Robert," she began, " I have to work to keep us together as a family. Your father doesn't help even though he is suppose to pay for yours, Charles's, Randall's and Pamela's keep, he has yet to send one dollar. Money is tight in some circumstances, but we do manage. Charle's last escapade has left us nearly destitute, but not broke. Your doings today was another expense I can ill afford, but because you had been caught and the man was agreeable to the cost being only a third

of the damages I got out of that fairly good. However, that also means no going to the movies for a month, no candy and no allowances for you for awhile. I also don't want you running the streets while I am at work. The neighbor takes care of Randall and Pam, but you are old enogh to watch them for me. They only play in the backyard.

I can't take the risk of you turning into a person like your brother Charles, but I also have to make sure you stay home, away from those hooligans you run with. Do you understand me?" I nodded then said yes as my mother looked at me with discontent with my nodding. She went on " I talked to Mrs. Washington, the black ladies down the street and to your Aunt Beatrice about you." I interrupted her at this point. I stated, "mom, you know Aunt Beatrice hates me, she is always calling me names like sissy and girly-boy ever since she found me playing with my cousin Sues dolls with her, why would you talk to her?" She wasn't happy that I had broken into her explanation.

"If I can continue." she began. "I don't know why you dislike her, she is a very nice person. Anyway because of what they said I am going to use their recommendation. This way I know you won't be getting into further trouble

and it saves me from paying for babysitters for your brother and sister. Now stand up and remove you shirt and pants, as well as your shoes and socks" I was in shock to say the least, my mother hadn't seen me in my underwear since I was nine. I was to old to just run around in my underwear. "come on with it, I don't have all day or night." she said. Before getting up I removed my shoes and socks and slowly stood up in front of her. I started to remove my shirt going slowly with the buttons then let it fall to the floor. She reach across and grabbed my belt and undid it and started to unsnap the button above my fly, I put my hand over hers to stop her but it was useless.

She pulled down my zipper and yanked them down to my ankles. "step out of them, come on hurry up" she continued.

I removed my feet from them, there I was standing only in my jocket underpants and a t-shirt. She pulled the t-shirt up over my head exposing my white untouched by the sun chest. I thought oh my she is going to spank me, maybe even bare-bottomed as she had done to Charles a couple of years ago. I started to cry profusely asking her not to spank me. Instead she grabbed me and pulled me closer to her, hugging me and telling me at the saame time she wasn't going to hit or spank me, that she loved me and that what she was going to do wouldn't hurt me.

"Well then why did I have to get undressed?" I asked still sniffling. "I.m sorry bobby" she began, "its just that

-erm- your are going to wear something totally different for awhile and just on the days that I work so I know your safe and away from the bad influences in the neighborhood." "what is it?" I asked. "Okay, I'll tell you but you know I love you right, and it only has to be at home, I don't want you going outside in these clothes I have in the bag." She answered, " lets get you dressed." The first thing she pulled out looked like a dress, but she told me it was called a full slip. It was all shiny and slippery maybe thats why they called it a slip. She placed it over my head and had me put my arms through the straps on top. It look almost like a muscle shirt but longer. It went all the way to my knees or just above. The next item I recognized immediately. It was a dress, just like the ones the girls in school wore, I started to cry again. "Mom I can't wear that, what would my friends say if they saw me, they will make fun of me and call me names" She again pulled me close to her and hugged me for a moment then stated "No one is going to see you as long as you don't go outside, you have nothing to worry about.

You can go outside after I get home in your boys clothes, okay." I still was upset, thinking what it Tom or Eric came over while she was out at work I couldn't answer the door like the ways I was dressed. My, mother finished pulling the dress over my head, had me place my arms into the sleeves, spun me around and buttoned up the back. She then had me put on some anklet socks and a pair of girls maryjane shoes. She had me step a couple of steps backward so she could look at me. "Honey" she started, " you look adoreable, even prettier then some little girls I know, let me show you" At that she took me into the bathroom where there was a full lenght mirror. There I was looking at myself in a pretty yellow dress with a flowered border alonf=g the bottom hem, below that was two layers of one inch lace trim. The sleeves were puffed out like teacups. The ankets matched incolor but were also trimmed in lace. With my short hair I looked like a boy in a dress, a sissy and I began to cry again. My mother had turned me into a girl and there was nothing I could do. She attempted to soothe me telling me that it would be alright, but for now this is how it had to be. She then led me downstairs back to the chair she was sitting in.

"I know this is hard honey," she began "but we or I need to work and I worry about you, now lets look at the other stuff okay. Out of the bag came two more dresses and slips. Out of the second bag came one more dress, but it was fancier, like the party dresses girls my age wore to bithday parties and such. The last thing that came out were the packages of panties, mostly white cotton, but one pair matched the party dress with three rows of lace sewn across the fanny portion. I thought to myself why did she buy a party dress and those panties, I would never be attending any little girls parties or would I...

The first month went by without incident. My brother Charles had been sent to a boys detention center til he turned eighteen at the least. My mother had seemed to the resign herself to his fate, knowing it wouldn't really change him.

I had gotten pretty well use to wearing nothing but the dresses during this time period. My younger siblings,

especially Randall asked a lot of questions. He knew even at that early age that boys don't wear dresses. My sister Pamela seemed to enjoy having a ad hoc sister, someone to play with, with her dolls and other girly things.

Luckily my friends had gone off to summer camp so there was little chance of being seen or caught. I sometimes changed almost as soon as mom came home into my boys clothing. Even when I did with my friends gone there wasn't a lot to do. I did meet up with a girl though. Her name was Laura, she was very pretty. She was only 13 or had just turned that age. She had the prettiest auburn hair that came down to her shoulders. She was a little over 5

foot tall, which is big for a girl. The day I met her I had changed into my boys clothing and had just went out the door. I actually bumped into her as I was running out of driveway, not watching where I was going. She fell down from being hit so hard. I immediately stopped to make sure she was alright. She was really upset with me.

She began yelling at me, telling me how stupid I was for not paying attention to as to whom was on the sidewalk.

I apologized as quickly as possible, helping her up off the ground. My mother who had heard all of the commotion had come out onto the porch. "what are you doing? she screamed at me. "Don't you watch what your doing, you could have seriously hurt that girl." I asked her if she was okay or she needed help. She asked me to help her onto our porch so she could sit for a minute or two.

Once up on the porch, I went inside and got her some lemonade and a damp towel. When I came back out my mother was talking to her. I listen as I found out she was new to the neighborhood and only moved in about 3 days ago.

That would explain why I didn't know since I had been in the house in one of my dresses. I stayed away from the windows pretty much think anyone going by could see me. I hadn't learned about light refraction yet in school.

You know like if its dark outside and you turn on lights in the house, you can see inside but not outside, the same being with the bright sunshine outside. I hande her the lemonade and my mother the damp towel. She used it to try and remove the dirt that had soiled her clothing. After cleaning her up as best as she could my mother went back into the house. I sit down opposite her and we began to chat. I found out it was just her and her mother who had moved in, her father was gone, not dead just gone. No one knew where he had went, he had just left one morning and never returned. We talked about what was in the neighborhood and offered to show her around if she liked, but it would have to be on a day my mother was home. I told her I had to babysit my younger siblings.

She said okay to that and asked me if I would walk up to the school with her. I said okay since she would be attending the same school as me, at least I'd have someone to go there with. On the way she asked me what the kids there were like and what they wore to school in September since it was still hot or warm outside. I told her about Eric and some of the bullies to watch out for, I didn't know of any of the girl bullies, although I had heard there were, personally I didn't know for sure. As far as wearing clothing, generally it was what you felt comfortable in, the guys wore shorts and tees mostly, the girls either wore skirts or light dresses, depending upon the weather. Some of the girls did wear shorts and tops or just their jeans. Remember I am a guy, I looked at these girls.

After showing her where the school was we headed back home without a lot of chatter. I told her I'd see her tomorrow as I dropped her off at her home first.

I went on home, Randall was sitting there watching some cartoon show and looked up at me all smiling. "what?,

What are smiling at? I asked him. "Bobbys got a girlfriend, Bobbys got a girlfriend" he started singing. "I do not." I called back to him. He kept it up trying my patience, so i just went up on into my room. My mother I heard from downstairs telling him to quiet down, but you know how little ones are. He quieted down after a while

until I came back downstairs, then attempted to start again, but was to be quiet or he would be in trouble. Pamela. had came back in to hear some of his ranting from the backyard. "Who is she?" she asked excitedly. I told her that Laura had just moved in the neighborhood a couple of days ago and I hardly knew her. "Do you think she would come over and play with me? she asked. I didn't know, and worried if she did come over how I would keep her from finding out about my dresses. Sometimes, my sister would let family secrets out, not knowingly or hurtful

it was just her innocence the she had to things around her.

We had an early dinner that day, so the rest of the day was just whatever was on the TV, or use some boardgames with Randall and Pam. At eight the little ones were put to bed after their baths and the house had pretty much

settled down for thw evening. Being nothing but reruns over the summer I got tired quickly and took myself to bed.

It was Sunday, mom didn't have to work, so I had the day to myself. I put on a pair of campshorts with all of the pockets for rocks, bugs or whatever I found to put in them, along with a white polo shirt, my sneakers and I was out the door. I had barely made it to the sidewalk when Laura called out to me. "hey, hey, wait a sec" she called out. "I didn't get your name yesterday, you know mine." she said running up to me. "My name is Bobby, well Robert actually, but you know how people sometimes call by nicknames" "Well hello Bobby." she said. "What are you doing today? I told her that I really didn't know, I though about going down by the river and watch the ducks and such. She thought that was cool, she had never been on nature hikes before. I offered to let her come

along if she wished, she did. We walked on down to the river, it was a bit cooler there with the breeze coming across it. I showed her where the ducks congregated and saw some new ducklings. "aren't they pretty?" she squealed. "I could take them home if I was allowed" I told her that wouldn't be fair to the ducks or the ducks mother. I told her how would she feel if a higher life form took her away from her mother for a pet. She stood there think about what i had just said. "you know your right" she began, " it would be right to separate a family,

even animals need to belong. I'm so sorry when what I had said earlier, I didn't think of the ducklings, their mother, just my own needs I guess." I told her thats alright, alot of people don't think like I do. Some people look at them as dinner even. She told me she could never ever think of eating such a thing as a baby duck, its gross. We continued along the river, I showed her a couple of sleeping owls up in the oak trees that permeated the forest that grew along the river. She looked in awe at some of the other things I showed her. Like all of the creatures that lived under the rocks, or the fish in the water. I was going to show her some of the bugs, but thought better of it, most girls get squeamish around them. As we were walking back I picked up a couple of rocks and threw them in the river and walked closer to it. We were standing on a raised embankment looking out as the river flowed past us. I turned to help her up when my foot slipped and wound up slipping into the river. I was soaked clear to the bone, my shorts being like denim seemed to absord the whole river or least thats what it felt like. They were heavy from the water and I had to hold them up to keep from losing them. I pulled myself back up onto the embankment, now adding mud to the weight of my shorts. She reached out to grab my hand, but I was afraid I;d lose my shorts if I let go. I managed to pull myself up enough to stick out my other hand to her. She grabbed

onto and pulled me the rest of the ways up. I was a total mess, water, mud and god knows what else i had drug up with me. She looked at me and started laughing. Not just giggling, I mean as hearty a laugh she could muster. She said I looked like a drowned pekinese dog, my hair all matted, my shirt sopping wet against my chest. I looked down at myself and joined her in the laughter, I knew I was a sight to behold. I started to get a chill from the water that soaked me through and told her we should head back home. We fairly quickly made it back to her home, her mother was on the front porchas we arrived. Her mother looked at me and immediately came down and got a hold of me. "Your shivering like its mid-december." she said, "lets get you in the house to help you get out of those wet clothes" I tried to tell I was fine, I'd just go home a few doors down. "You can't," she said

" your mother just left with two small children." Oh great I thought, she hadn't told me she was going anywhere,

but then again I didn't ask. Mrs. Johnson help me into her house and removed my sneakers, she didn't want mud tracked in. I stood there shivering, although the clothing was warming a bit. "Come on now," she stated, "lets get these off of you." she grabbed my shirt and pulled it up over my head before I could say anything. She then sent Laura for a couple of towels to dry me with, as laura was leaving she called out and some dry clothes as well.

Mrs Johnson then directed me to their bathroom and told me to remove my shorts. I did as i was told not wanting to be disrespectful of her graciousness. I closed the door to the bathroom and removed my shorts. I noticed several scratches as I removed them. My underwear wear also coated with mud, so I asked her if I should remove them as well. Yes, she called out, then take a shower to remove the last of that gook. I took them off and got into the shower. The hot water felt good against my body. I notice they only had these flowery body baths and shampoos. I had little choice but to use them. I did my hair first withsome sort of lavendar scented shampoo, it smelled nice and did a good job, next the body wash was called NEW SPING, it depicted a bunch of flowers on it. I pour some onto a washcloth I found and washed myself head to toe. It smelled like the fresh bouquets you smelled in the florist section of the grocery stores. I rinsed and called out to Mrs. Johnson i was done as I stepped out of the shower. I noticed that my shorts and underwear were gone, I hadn't heard anyone enter while showering.

"Where are my clothes?" I called out to them. Just then there was noise on the other side of the door. "Sorry, It took us longer to figure out what to give you. You clothing is in the washing machine. They were to filthy for you to wear home." Mrs Johnson went on, "Laura has a couple of things you can wear for now, you can return them later or tomorrow" I opened the door and peaked out, not wanting to expose my nakedness to them. Mrs Johnson was standing there with the clothing for me to put on. She looked at me smiling and said "sorry but theres no boys here as your mother knows, this is the best we can do. we did find white panties though, they should fit and no one will see them anyway." She handed me the clothing and i shut the door. My mind was racing, what did she give me, a dress, a skirt, what!! I slowly unfolded them to discover it was shorts and a top, along with apair of white plain panties, not much different then speedos some boys wore. I quickly pulled them on along with the shorts and the top. The shorts were definitely girls, they were powder blue with a full elastic waist, no pockets

and at the bottom of eacxh leg were embriodered daisies with small leaves around them. The top matched the shorts

except it had to daisies, one left, one right, that looked like the had grown out of your bellybutton sort of.

Mrs. Johnson was now calling me to hurry and come downstairs so she could see how it looked. I carefully opened the bathroom door and went out into the hallway, I could hear the rustling in the front room as I headed there.

I peaked around the corner, Mrs. Johnson was sitting in the chair to the left while laura was sitting on the sofa.

Mrs. Johnson spotted me almost immediately. "Come on in here, lets see how it fits." she said. I was nervous as all get out, here I was boy about to be exposed wearing girls clothing to someone I hardly knew. Beckoning me again I went on into the living room. "My, my, my," she began, " don't we look nice, those fit you very well Robert". How did she know my name, then I thought maybe Laura had told her or even my mother from the days before.

She had me turn around so she could see how they fit from behind as well. "You know Robert, except for you hair,

most people would thing you were a girl from behind." she stated. I must have turned red as the setting sun from what she had just said. "Don't be bashful," she went on. "I only meant it as a compliment" Thats the kind of compliment boys did not want to hear, but I thanked her for the compliment anyways.

"I'm going to have to go home soon, are my clothes done yet so i can go?" I asked. "No, they're not, its an old washer so it isn't working as fast, if it doesn't quit again on me." said Mrs Johnson. Just then we heard a loud grinding sound coming from the basement. Mrs Johnson ran for the basement stairs and down them quickly. "Oh damn," I heard her cry out. A few minutes later she came back upstairs. She was holding my clothes in her hands.

they were torn to shreds, there was no way for them to be fixed. I just stood there with my mouth agape, I couldn't believe it. "I am so sorry Robert, the agitator had grabbed them and pulled them up under it, the gears done the rest I think, I'll replace them as soon as possible, please forgive me>" she said crying. It wasn't her fault, it was the washing machine. I told that it was okay, to not cry over this, it was just something that happened, sort of like my falling into the river. Laura just sat there with a smile on her face. It seemed bizarre to me, like she knew something but wasn't going to say anything. You know like she was being sneaky about something.

It wasn't until all of this excitement was over with when I realized I'd have to walk home in these girls clothes. What was I going to do? My mother still wasn't home, or at least I couldn't see her car in the driveway

or sticking out of the garage. I also realized that my shoes were still muddy from the river, I had no shoes to wear or socks to protect my feet from the debris. that was usually strewn across the sidewalks from passing cars.

That included broken glass, that was one of the reasons my siblings couldn't play out front. I looked at Laura and back to Mrs Johnson "So now what do I do?" I asked. They both looked at me and just sort of sighed, not really knowing, although I still suspected Laura knew more about what had happened to my clothing then she let on. That smile on her face was almost beaming at me now. "Come on Bobby, lets find you some shoes, you can't wear those ratty muddy shoes home. I think I have a pair that will fit you for now." Laura called as she headed for her room.

I followed right behind.

As soon as we were in her room, she turned to me and said, "That isn't what I was going to give you to wear,

but my mother stopped me from putting out what I wanted. Do you know what I wanted to see you in?" I shook my head back and forth indicating no. "Well," she continued, "I wanted to see you in this," as she pulled this pink dress out of her closet, It was like a princess dress, frothing in lace and ribbons, "I think you would look so cute in it with your light blue eyes and light skin." I was taken aback at this revelation, did she know of my dresses at home, had I accidently came too close to the windows at home, I didn't know. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked. What was my reply. "Can you put it on for me, just to let me see if i was right, you know I helped you earlier, you owe me." I didn't want to disappoint her and started stammering for reasons not to, Im a boy, I'd look silly, your mothers home, for every reason it seemed she had an answer. Finally I gave up, but I told her as long as no one ever knows about it. I'd do it. She told me to remove my/her top and handed me a camisole top, it was white with a rosebud just below the my chin area of my chest. She then had me raise my arms and pulled the dress over my head, walked around back and buttoned it up. She pulled the three inch ribbon around my sides and tied it into a large bow. She came around back in front and stepped back with her hand on her chin. She stepped forward and straightened the skirted portion then stepped back again. "Somethings not right , its not hanging properly." She stated. She asked if i still had the shorts on, I nodded in ascent. "Thats It" she gleamed "Remove them now" I was startled but attempted to reach up under the dress to pull the down or off, but could reach the hem of the shorts. She slipped to her knees reached under and yanked the shorts down to my ankles, unfortunately the panties came to. She started laughing like she had done earlier only louder. Unbeknownst to me her mother heard her laughing and came to see what was going on. She came into the room and saw me in the dress, she covered her mouth with her hand attempting to stifle her laughter. There I was in a pink sissy dress with the shorts and panties pulled down to my ankles. I looked up and in front of me was a mirror, I saw what they saw, I started giggling almost as loud. It was almost like a part of the three stooges movie when they had dressed as women, only this time I was the stooge replacing them. When we composed our selves Mrs. Johnson chased Laura out of her room,

helped me remove the dress, almost forgetting to pull the panties and shorts back up. Soon I was back in the living room. We were still snickering with laughter, Laura got up and left and returned with the pair of shoes we had originally went after and handed them to me along with a pair of anklet socks. I slipped them on fairly easy and the shoes did fit. Mrs Johnson went out on to the porch, then called to me "Your mothers home". I knew I had to go but was still worried about being seen. Laura offered to go with me, but Mrs. Johnson said no, we'd all go over, someone had to explain why I was wearing the girls shorts and she would do it since the washer had destroyed my boys clothing.

My mother came to the door after Mrs. Johnson had knocked. "Yes, can i help you?" my mother said. Mrs Johnson began, "you already met my daughter thre other day, Laura, well I was meaning to come over anyway to meet you and to tell you thank you for assisting her in regards to the accidental meeting of your son and her. Today however it seems I have repaid your favor with a favor of my own, sort of." My mother looked past her and saw Laura and I right behind her. "Robert, why, whose shorts are those? whats going on? my mother inquired. "Let me continue," Mrs Johnson said. "Robert and Laura went down by the river and somehow he fell in, dragged himself out,

coating himself in mud from head to toe. They came back right away after he slipped. He was soaked to the skin and filthy. You had just left with your other two children, so I had him come in to clean up. Laura got him some clothing while he took a shower. I had put his clothes in the washer and unfortunately somehow his shorts got tangle on the agitator, his shirt was pulled in afterwards it appeared, ripping the to shreds. I'll replace them as soon as possible if you want, I am sorry. That old washer has got to go before it does additional damage to our clothes. Again I'm sorry, please forgive me. My mother looking at me and then back to Mrs. Johnson began to speak, but had to clear her throat. "Its Okay" she finally began, "the shorts he was wearing were old anyway and probably needed replaced after this year, so don't worry about them. I'm just glad they are safe, a boy drowned last year in that river. I've told him several times to stay away from the waters edge, that is a swift river and could have easily swept him away, your daughter helped him, no telling what may have happened if she had not been there. Maybe it was fate that brought these two together, who knows. Thank you for bring him home and I'll return Lauras' clothes as soon as I clean them.

The chatter then turned to something that did not really concern me so I ooched on by them and went on up to my room. It had been a day I will remember always, I just hoped that it would be as the last few hours had been, what with the dress and the.....

Today was Monday, after yesterdays disaster, with my clothing getting destroyed I was looking forward to a quiet day at home. I had awaken at around seven a.m., I layed there for awhile just thinking of what had occurred at Lauras' house. I hadn't even realized at the time when she was putting the dress on me that she had seen me in nothing but panties. Oh! my god! I thought, what if she tells someone. Would she tell Eric or Tom when she met them? What about the other kids or her friends? I knew I had to talk to her, this just couldn't get out. My life would be over, I'd never be allowed to live this down. I was thinking now it was imperative that I speak to Laura.

As I was pondering my situation I heard noises from downstairs. Randall and Pamela were up and laughing at something, probably on TV. My mother called for me to come down, I just slipped on my bathrobe and trodded on down.

As I suspected, there was some kiddie cartoon on the TV, my siblings were watching and giggling at some misfortune that had occurred to the character. My mother had already gotten dressed, as this was a work day for her. I made me a bowl of shredded wheat for breakfast (my favorite), toast and milk. As I began to eat she told me "after you finish eating, you are to go get dressed, the blue dress should be okay for today with your maryjanes and socks" I just said okay, hoping she would forget, no such luck. I finished my breakfast and went to get dressed and then came back down. My mother had put her coat or jacket on and was headed toward the door when she turned around and said "I want you to keep these two in the backyard today." while pointing at my brother and sister. "also could you clean-up the kitchen and vacuum the living room, it needs to be done" I told her I would do it and it would be done before she got home. "also fix lunch for you three," she went on as she was going out the door. She waved as she got in the car as I closed the front door.

I went on over to the couch and sat down, thinking again of when I could talk to Laura about yesterday. I surely couldn't do it now, so I started figuring how to do the chores I'd been requested to accomplish and watch the little ones. The cartoons were overwith by ten that morning, I figured I'd have them go upstairs and play, vacuum the carpet, then prepare our lunches, then clean-up the kitchen, no sense having to do it twice. Also I would be able to see the little ones in the yard from the kitchen window while I washed and dried the dishes. My mother didn't believe in dishwashers "they never get them clean enough" was her favorite saying about it.

At ten o'clock I sent the little ones upstairs admonishing them to play nice or I would tell mom. I went on over to the hall closet and pulled out the vacuum and started to do the carpets, for some reason my legs started to ache again. I had told my mother about it but she just said it was growing pains. Today however the pain seemed to be stronger then usual. So it took me a little longer to vacuum the living room and the dining room. I felt really tired afterward, which was strange. I went on into the kitchen and made lunch for all of us, just some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass of milk, simple enough. I placed their sandwiches oon plates, poured the milk, set it on the kitchen table and called them down to eat. he table while waiting for them, my knees were aching worse and had turned a pink color. I figure maybe I pulled a muscle or something. They came in and climbed onto the chairs and began to eat. "whats wrong Bobby?" my sister asked. I told her I was just tired as I rubbed my kneecaps. "Well, you don't look good, almost ghostly or like those vampires in the movies, all white sort of" she continued. I told her I was okay, it'll go away. They finished eating and I sent them into the back yard. I went on to clean-up the kitchen, by the time I was finished my legs hurt terribly. I had to go sit down. I went out into the backyard and sat on the chaise, stretching out my legs. We stayed there until mom came home, except for allowing the little ones to get a juice or some kool-aid, I hadn't moved.

Mom came home and asked me how the day had gone from the backdoor, I told her everything went very well, I had done as she had asked. She said she was pleased and would prepare dinner, it would take about an hour. I was glad I didn't have to help. my legs felt a little better, but still hurt. Mom called us in for dinner and it was pretty quiet for the most part. Pamela that told my mother about me turning pale earlier, but I told her it was nothing. After dinner, usually I would go change into my boys clothing and go out, but I was to tired so I just went to my room and laid down. I fell asleep almost immediately.

I must have slept for about 10 or 12 hours, I was awake at five-thirty the next morning, the sun was just rising. The light was beginning to creep into my room, casting shadows from the trees outside. I must have laid perfectly still all night, I had slept on top of the covers, my shoes were still on my feet. I figured since I didn't shower last night I would get an early start on the day. I pulled my legs over the side of the bed and began to stand up. It was like I had no legs, I immediate collapsed onto the floor making a loud crashing sound.
I think I may have pulled what was on my bedstand off as I attempted to grasp at anything to prevent my falling.

My legs were in extreme pain. The noise had awaken my mother and my siblings. Mom was by my side asking what happened. I didn't really know. She began pushing things away from me that had fallen and stretched me out on the floor. "Oh, my god" she exclaimed loudly. "what, whats wrong." I asked. "your knees, your knees are as big as basketballs, did you hit some thing? sha said. "No" I replied. " I was just getting out of bed." "they are all red and hot" she went on further as she felt my knees and legs. "Don't move I'll be right back" she stated as she got up and left the room. A few moments later she came back and said Lauras' mom was going to watch the little ones.

She had to get me dressed and was going to go to the hospital. She somehow managed to get the dress off of me as I laid on the floor, replaced my panties with jockeys, pulled on some shorts, a shirt and picked me up off of the floor. She carried me downstairs, an uneasy task for a small woman such as her, and placed me on the couch. Randall and Pamela were all running around crying and upset, they as well as I didn't know what was happening.

Laura and her mother knocked at the door just after she had lain me on the couch. "whats wrong?" they asked in unisome. My mother said she didn't know, all she knew was my legs were not functioning, I was unable to walk and that they were extremely swollen as she looked over to me. "Look" she exclaimed "he is a pale as a sheet" At this time I began to get upset, mt mother either sensed or seen it and immediately began to calm me down. Laura and her mother quickly rounded up the little ones and was pushing them out the door. "Call us as soon as you know something." she called out as they left for their home. My mother pulled the car up in front of the house, came in and carried me out to it, placing me into the backseat. After we arrived at the hospital, she went inside and shortly after a nurse and her came out with a wheelchair. You probably know all the preliminaries they do when you go to the ER so I won't bore you with that. A doctor came into the room they had placed me in and did a cursorary examine and ordered xrays, thats was it, no blood tests or anything. Not that I minded. A few minutes later I was taken over to the xray department where they xray my legs, then I was taken back to the room. A litttle while later a nurse came in and told my mother I could go home. My mother became furious, yelling at them I couldn't walk, what did they mean nothing was wrong, yelling about the size of my knees. The hospital called security, theer was going to attack the doctor. He wouldn't even acknowledge her. She was fumimg as she brought me back out to the car. She finally started to cool off at about halfway home. "We're going to see your grandmother,
she'll know what to do" she said almost crying. We pulled in front of my grandmothers apartment building. My mother got out of the car and went inside.

After what seemed like an eternity they came back outside to the car. Grams looked at me and said she would be right back. I kept massaging my aching legs, the pain had subsided a little, but I still couldn't stand. I felt to weak, I wanted to go home and sleep. Grams came back out and told my mother lets go, we are going to a friend of mine, he is a doctor and has his own labs there. We are going to find out what is going on here one way or another. A few minutes later we pulled up in front of this big yellow brick building. We went in and went to the doctors office. Don't ask me his name as I could never say it, all I knew was he was from India. His nurse iinto an examination room and completely undressed me. place a gown on me and had me lay down on the table. Doctor ???????????? came into the room and examined, I think every square inch of me, me loking down my throat, in my ears, stuck his finger in my butt (that hurt), ordered some blood tests (8 of those test tubes full) and a set of full xrays. my grandmother and my mother to go to lunch somewhere as this was going to take some time. They left leaving me at the nurses mercy. I hated the xrays, the technician twisted and turned me up, over and everywhere in between. Xrays of my knees bent, straight, twisted left, twisted right. one leg at a time, then I had to do it all again with them together. I now hurt worse then before they began. After about two hours it was over and I was brought back to the examination room. My mother and grams had returned just before I got back.

They were waiting when the nurse came in and said the doctor wanted to talk to them in his office. I was to stay put period. This is what I learned much further down the road, so it is only hearsay and only whaber being told. The doctor after calling them in had them seat themselves. He began by saying that I was a very sick boy.

He still had not determined as to what the affliction was, other then it was not polio. He didn't really know why I couldn't walk other then my muscle tone was severely depleted for a boy my age. The only thing he could say was I was very anemic, thus explaining the colors I had turned, I had an enlarged heart, but didn't have signs of heart disease. It was at this time my mother told him what had occurred at the hospital. According to my mother, what happened next shocked her.

Doctor ??????????? called the hospital and began ranting and raving at them in his native tongue and english, well broken english. I had heard him yelling, but I thought he was yelling at my mother and grams. After the noise had died down and a few minutes later the doctor came in and said I needed a series of shots, some were going to hurt, he couldn't prevent that but he was sorry. He rattled something off to the nurse and she left the room. He went back into his office to talk to my mother again.

About twenty minutes later the nurse came back in with a tray and several small bottles. She looked at me and said "Sorry honey but now I got to give you some injections. Do you want the easy ones first or the ones that will hurt for awhile." naturally I took the easy shots first, I'm not stupid. She gave me one in the arm and two in my butt. Then she pulled out this needle I though would go clear through me. I was to recieve two of these with separate syringes she said, one in the arm and one in the butt again. The one in the butt was not so bad, but the one in the arm had went into the bone in my upper arm. God, I never hurt so much from a shot before, It felt like she was driving an iron pole through my arm deep into the bone, all the time telling me to hold still as possible so she didn't break the needle. I held perfectly still, but it hurt so bad i began to tear up. As soon as she was done she hugged me real close telling me she was done and to relax. My mother came in with a wheelchair and said we could get dressed. The nurse asked if she needed assistance, but my mother declined. I was hurting but I knew I had to get dressed so I justt grimace throgh this, it took a while but finally we accomplished it. She picked me up and placed me in the wheelchair. WE went out into the doctors lobby where he was waiting for me.

"Robert," he began. "I don't know exactly what is wrong, I'm going to go through all of my medical books, checking symptom by symptom, when you come back in a few days I hope to tell you more, Okay." I just nodded I wanted to go home and go to bed, I was exhausted.

We left shortly after the doctor wrote some prescriptions and the next appointment was scheduled. We dropped grams to her apartment. We also had to stop at the drug store to get the prescriptions. Soon, I was back at home and in bed. My mother went to call Lauras' mom and to have Laura bring the kids over. I fell asleep soon afterward.

The next morning I awoke feeling sore as hell, I think every joint in my body ached and most muscles what little I had. I called out to my mother. She came in my room shortly after. "Do want breakfast honey?" she asked I was a little hungry so I said okay but keep it light. She left and came back carrying a tray with orange juice on it. "I brought you the juice sweetie because of the pills the doctor wants you to take, they are vitamins only.

he doesn't want to mask your pain." She said. "wheres Randall and Pam?" I asked. "oh. don't worry about them right now, they are fine and at your Aunt Marys for a few days." she went on. She was sitting on the edge of my bed watching me very intently and then burst into tears. "why, oh why could this happen." she sobbed. "I know you eat healthier then all of the other kids, you never turn down your vegetables, what did I do so wrong." she continued. "I don't know," I began. "The only thing I know is my legs have been hurting for awhile now, remember I told you." She nodded to me. "maybe I didn't eat enough, I'm sure its not your fault. I ooched up further in the bed looking at her. "I know You or I didn't do anything wrong." I began again. "its got to be something else.

Did the doctor call back yet?" she shook her head. "Call him, see if he thinks if he knows yet or if I need more tests." She agreed to call him as soon as possible, at this time mother nature called. "I got to go to the bathroom" I said. She looked at me then realized I couldn't walk, scooped me up, put me over her shoulder pulled down my underwear then took me to the bathroom, sitting me on the toilet. She waited as I did my thing there.

I told her I was done. She reached over then and began to fill the tub, "A hot bath may help you feel better, okay" she said as she poured some bubble bath into the tub. The bath did feel great, releasing the tense muscles.

The pain even subsided a little bit, allowing me to relax somewhat. My mother had went to call the doctor, she came back about an hour later, I was glad the water had cooled down and most if not all of the bubbles were gone.

"I'll be back in a sec honey, please don't try to get out by yourself okay." she said as she grabbed some towels out of the closet where she kept them. She came back and lifted me out of the tub and took me to my room. Laid across my bed were the towels she had taken. she laid me down on top of them, pulling up on the sides that stuck out fromunder me and placed them over me. She then began to pat me dry.

"Bobbie can I ask you something?" sure I responded. You know I had to lift you to dress you at the doctors and to remove your clothes in the bathroom. Plus I had to carry you, Right?" she said. I had to agree with her. "Well you know the dresses you have in your closet and the panties I got you." she went on. It would be so much easier to slip your panties on you like are now and one wheelchair it would be easier to slip the dress over your head, then wrestling to get pants and the other stuff on you. Would it be okay if I just dressed you that way instead of jostling you back and forth and up or down, plus it would be easier for you to use the bathroom downstairs.

What do you think?" she asked. I thought about it for a few minutes, while she went to answer the phone that had started ringing. I remembered yesterday, the pain it created, the muscles beginning to ache on top of it. It did make sense too me, but I was worried about Eric and Tom seeing me. I mean I couldn't just get up and answer the door if they showed up. They wouldn't just walk into the house, that would get them in trouble. So I placed that worry aside for now. What about Laura, what would she think, of course she had already seen me in a dress, hers.

Could I do this? My thoughts were going rampant back and forth, pro and con. Finally I figured as long as Couldn't walk what harm could it do. Just as i was making my decision, mom came back into my room. "Honey," she began. " you look like an oversized baby in swaddling laying there wrapped in the towels." I looked down my body and it did appear so, I started laughing, I told her all I needed was a diaper and a teething ring. She started laughing at that I think trying to picture her 12 year old son in a diaper sucking on a binky.

After we got over our giggles and hee-haws I told her that it would be okay. She could dress me in what she had said. After taking the towels from around me, she slipped the panties up my legs as I laid there. She then carried me downstairs, placed me in the wheelchair and went to get the dress. When she got back she slipped it over my head, had me place my arms in the short sleeves, pulled it down into place and buttoned it up the back.

She placed my maryjanes and anklet socks on my feet and I was done. No bumping me, no jostling, no shifting me back and forth or up and down. I felt as good as I had been when I got out of the bath.

"Oh by the way the doctor said he knows with almost certainty what is wrong with you. He said he thinks you have Rheumatoid Arthritis, that may be why your heart is enlarged. He said you have all of the classic symptoms, the problem is with your age being so young. It is not going to kill you, but you are going to need a lot of therapy." mom said. "The other thing is he doesn't know when if you will be able to walk again. He wants to see you tomorrow to begin treatment." What was this arthritis thing, I'd never heard of it. I didn't want to stay in a wheelchair the rest of my life. I was determined I would defeat this thing. I had friend who had polio, so I sort of knew what was coming, I just didn't think it would take a year out of my life.

It seemed I spent as much time at Doctor ???????????'s office as I did at home the next month. More shots, stinkier vitamins and then the physical therapy started. Do physical therapist go to the scool of the MARQUE DE SADE to obtain their licenses? It sure seemed like it to me. I not only had to exercise my legs, but every joint in my body from fingers to toes. It started out three times a week, then downed to twice a week, My mother had used up all of her vacation time to get this accomplished. After the first month and a half my legs were stronger and I had special crutches to hobble around the house, but still had to use the wheelchair if I went anywhere.

Laura would come over everyday to help my mom with me and to help with the little ones. I got fairly well use to having her see me in a dress. Randall was still teasing me about Laura, except he added your nurse was here to change you. Pamela loved it she had another girl to play with. My mother had to go back to work and tried to make all my appointments late in the day or on a Saturday if possible. Its just sometime things just can't be worked out. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, you know all the best laid plans of mice and men...bla, bla bla. Actually it was more like Murphy's Law.

It was a Thursday morning, Laura had come over to assist my mother before she went to work. My appointment was a one-thirty, Lauras' mother was going to take me while Laura watch Randall and Pamela. Who should show up and put a kink in the armor, My Father. A man who didn't care an iota about me all of sudden wanted to "a part" of my life, I don't know what provoked these usual non-existant paternal instincts. He actually said he wanted to spend some time with me. That had to be a joke. He wanted me to go with him, I refused outright. I yelled through the door I had a appointment to just go and leave me alone. " I am your father" he bellowed. " you will do as I told you. Come out here now." I ask Laura to lock the door and call her mother. She locked it as he was coming onto the porch. Laura got on the phone as he started pounding on the door. I sat there terrified in my wheelchair, not knowing what to expect next. Then I heard her, Lauras' mother yelling who are you, what are you doing there.

I peered out the front window, Laura at my side. My father was arguing with her, I was his son, he had a right to see me. She was yelling back at him not without his mothers permission you don't. He told her to shut up and mind her own business. The neighbor who's window I broke came out and went back inside his house. A few minutes later he came back out again and yelled something to my father but it was indistinguishable. A few minutes later a police car pulled up out front. Two police men got out and separated my father away from Lauras mom. My father pulled out his ID, the next thing I knew he was handcuffed and put in the police car. One of the policemen came up onto the porch and knocked on the door. Laura opened it and called her mother inside, the police man came with her. Pointing at us, he asked if that was our father. I told him it was, but we were being watched by Lauras mom.

He said okay, have your mother call the district, your father has a warrant for non-support, he is going to jail for now. At that he turned and left. I was too upset with this, I ask someone to call my mother and have the appointment cancelled. I believe Laura did it, but I'm not certain.
Why would my Father show up now, who told him where we lived. What would he say to knowing his son was in a dress. These and other questions circle about in my mind. I just started wondering was he now going to try to re-enter my life, why .....