by Sarah S
By Sarah S! |
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Have you brought the wire cutter?” Andy asked Kim who just arrived at the abandoned building.
“Kevin was going to bring it with him, he should've been here already.”
Andy scowled at him. Kim put his hands in the air and said, “Hey, he said he'd be able to get a good one from his dad's tool kit. Give the guy a chance, ya know.”
“If he wasn't your friend, I'd have beaten the fag already and put him in the hospital. I really don't know why you hang out with a wimp like him.” Andy responded.
Before Kim could reply a silhouette began to form somewhere further down the street. Because it was already past midnight, they couldn't really tell who it was, though they seriously hoped it was Kevin or Mickey, or else they could be in serious trouble. Two sixteen year olds wandering at night around an abandoned building's domain doesn't really look all that innocent. When the person came close enough they could see it was Kevin.
“Well well, didn't know you had the balls to show up, Kev,” Andy said while clapping in his hands. “Maybe there's hope for you after all.” He grinned.
Kevin being rather shy just answered quietly, “I've got the wire cutters in my bag.”
“OK then, let's get this show on the road!” Andy said.
“What about Mickey?” Kim asked.
“Oh don't worry he'll be here, he's just taking a little detour.”
Kim knew that Mickey probably was planning something to test their newest member to see if he could join their little gang. Though he didn't know to what extend they would go, especially since Andy didn't like Kevin all that much...
Andy ordered both of them to cut the fence so they could sneak towards the building. When they cut a hole big enough for them to enter, Andy went in first followed by Kim and then Kevin, but Kevin's long dark blond hair that was past his shoulders got stuck in the wire. “Ow!” he yelled.
Andy scowled towards Kevin and whispered loudly, “Hey, be quiet you shithead! If they catch us it's Juvie for all of us, and believe me that you'll be even more of a bitch there than you are now!”
Kevin tried to ignore Andy's insults and concentrated on getting his hair lose.
“Just put it in a ponytail, that way you'll have less chance of it getting stuck again, OK?” Kim suggested to him.
They have been friends since childhood and still kept in touch once in a while. Kim knew Kevin wasn't really the macho type, he suspected him of being gay, though it could be wish full thinking because he was gay himself and used to have a serious crush on Kevin during the first two years of high school. He was glad though, that he wasn't the feminine type of gay, because that way no one would suspect it of him. It's not that this town was narrow minded and his parents would probably accept Kim's sexual orientation, but he witnessed a gay man being beaten to death in an alley. He was well aware that there are homophobics around and Andy being one of them made it clear to him that he'd hide his homosexuality, at least until college where he might consider opening up a little.
When they reached the building, they climbed through the window and sneaked up the stairs to the second floor.
“And now we wait.” Andy stated silently.
Kevin looked questioningly at Kim, but he just shrugged in response. After about fifteen minutes Kevin asked, “What are we waiting for Andy?”
Andy smirked at him and said, “You'll see.”
Kevin was getting a little nervous, he was pretty sure that breaking into this building was part of a test to see if he had it in him to be part of his gang. He wasn't really keen on joining, but since he and Kim spent less and less time together, he thought this might be a chance to reconnect. Kim was his only real friend, yes he had some school friends, but you could hardly call them friends as they would make fun of him from time to time. Kevin didn't really know why, but thought it might have to do with their reputation at school. After another five minutes they heard sounds from downstairs, one was a soft weeping kind, the other was definetly Mickey's voice as it said, “Stop crying faggot and get up the stairs.”
“Well then Kevie boy,” Andy said drawing Kevin's attention back towards him.“Let's just see how much of a man you really are. I really want to trust Kim's words, but the guy has a soft spot for ya, since you're childhood friends, so he might just be too subjective on the matter.” Andy said like he actually cared.
Just at that moment Mickey entered through the door holding a boy's arm. He seemed to be around their ages.
“What are you planing Andy?” Kim asked with a worried look.
“Nothing really, just seeing if you're friend is worthy of joining our gang.” Andy answered calmly and looked towards Kevin. “Now you want to join our gang right?” He didn't wait for an answer and continued, “You want to prove that you're a man amongst men right? I mean, that's what you have to be to join, any less isn't going to cut it.”
Kevin had a frightened look on his face when he was starting to realize what was going on. “Y- you... you... you want me to kill him?!” he asked nearly panicking.
“Now now, we're not murderers, Kevie, but I like you're way of thinking, maybe we can be friends after all. Now I don't want you to kill him, though he does deserve it, being the faggot he is.”
Andy got a nasty look on his face while asking, “I mean guy's liking guy's is just one of the most repulsive things there is, right? Now Kevin, I have heard some rumors from your school, and I really, really hope they aren't true.”
Kevin and Kim knew they were talking about the 'being gay' one, especially considering the situation they were in.
“I'm sorry I called you a fag earlier, that is if the rumors aren't true. Now like I said earlier I trust Kim normally, but this friendship could have corrupted his view on you. I just need to make sure, you understand that right?”
Kevin was freaking out in his mind, but couldn't really show it to Andy. He knew he had to beat this guy or else they'd both get beaten.. I mean even though Kim was his friend, he would be no match for Andy, being probably on steroids if you look at the size of his arms.
“Sooo...” Andy resumed, “I'd like you to beat this faggot up, I know you would never beat up your own kind, so if ya give him a good asswhoopin', I'll believe you're a real man. Don't worry, I know you're not one of the strongest yet, so we'll hold him for you. You just have to do the punchin' and kickin'” Andy grabbed the sobbing guy's free arm roughly and together with Mickey, brought him to his knees. “All yours now Kevie.”
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By Sarah S! Synopsis: All actions have consequences, Kevin and Kim are about to find this out the hard way... |
“He killed that guy! I don't think his family wants to see him!” his father screamed back.
“He didn't kill him!”
“But he's dead anyway, he could've just as well just killed him there and then!”
“It wasn't his fault!”
“No! It was the gang's, right? Sorry to burst your bubble Cindy, but he was part of that gang.” His father countered.
His mom just stared angrily at him for a while, and eventually said, “If it wasn't for Kim he would never have even thought about joining them.”
Kevin's father sighed, “So what? He can't see Kim anymore? He's the only friend he's got.”
“He has lots of friends at school,” Cindy answered.
“And who says that? Kevin? Don't tell me you believe him, if he did, he would actually go out or invite some over at the least. He has no friends beside Kim and even though I don't like him, especially after influencing Kevin to join that stupid gang, He needs him,” his father slumped into the couch. “The only time Kevin smiles is when Kim's around. You can't take away this little happiness he has. That's no punishment, that's just cruel.”
“Well I never said he couldn't see him again...” his mom answered quietly. “But that boy... and our own, need some guidance in their lives, I mean if the parents of Joshua didn't believe it was actually Andy and Micheal's fault, Kim and our son would've been sent to juvie...”
Kevin's dad did agree on that, but that wasn't the main problem right now. “I still don't think it's a good idea to go to the funeral.”
Cindy sat right beside her husband and took his hand in hers, “But it would give him some closure, Joshua's death is hurting him, as he blames himself.”
After a moment of silence, Kevin's dad squeezed Cindy's hand and reluctantly agreed to let their son go to the funeral.
Meanwhile Kevin was softly crying in his pillow. If he didn't want to spend more time with Kim so desperately, if he didn't had this urge for social interaction to at least talk to someone who didn't think he's weird... then he never would've joined that gang. And if he didn't join it, he would never had to beat up that innocent boy. So what if he's gay, it's not like he did anything bad because of it. He just wanted to be himself.
That was something Kevin understood just all too well. He wasn't gay, at least he didn't think so. He never really had any interest in anyone, though what happened on the same night as that horrible one, was still giving him butterflies in his tummy. He didn't really try to think of it too much, he was too occupied trying to figure himself out. As you know, he wasn't really mister macho, actually there wasn't anything really masculine about him, besides being a boy that is.
Alas, that was Kevin's biggest problem, he didn't know if he really was a boy. No, he wasn't intersexed or something, but he did dress up in his sisters clothing from time to time. His sister was three years older than him and in college, which gave him a lot of opportunities to dress up in her clothes. Though he was rather tall compared to most girls (5 foot 9), his sis was the same length as him, which made it a little easier for him to dress up. With some make-up on and the right clothes he looked quite convincing as a girl even if it was a tall one, then again his sis was too. Though there definitely would be people who would be able to tell he wasn't a real girl, so going out was a no-no.
Of course he tried to convince himself this was all just a phase and it might just all go away if he finds himself a girlfriend. The problem here was that he wasn't really interested in a relationship, not as a boy at least. Most of the time he tried not to think about this strange desire to be a girl, if he ignores it enough it might go away too. He really wanted to just be a normal boy like Kim, but he knew he wasn't, what boy would daydream about being one of the girls? And wishing to be a girl every time something happened you could wish upon, wasn't really helping him in trying to be a normal boy.
So all in all, he knew how hard it was too hide your feelings, and really wanted to be as brave as Joshua to be true to his feelings, but the sound of rejection, humiliation and being beaten, made him keep this secret from everyone, even Kim. If he lost Kim's friendship he truly would be alone. Yes, he'd still have his parents, but they act as parents not friends...
Being lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the door to his room open and his mom entering and sitting on the edge of the bed, “Hey, kiddo,” his mom said, smiling a little, “I got your dad to agree. You'll be able to go to Joshua's funeral.”
Kevin got his face out of his pillow and looked up at his mom, “Thanks, Mom. I- I really need to... tell them... I didn't mean-”
“I know, Honey, I know. And we'll be right beside you, so no need to be scared, OK?”
Kevin sat upright and hugged his mom tightly. “Oh Mom,” He cried out, “I never wanted for this to happen, I just wanted to spend more time with Kim. If I knew they- they would plan that, I-I-,” He couldn't finish what he was saying, it was all getting to be to much for him. His mom just held him while rocking him forth a little bit and making small shushing sounds.
Three days later, they went to the funeral. They stayed just briefly to offer their condolences and for Kevin to make his all important apology. They accepted it, however they still held him partly responsible for what happened to their beloved son, even though they knew Kevin never wanted anything of this to happen.
They heard the story from all four boys, but believed that Kevin and Kim were speaking truthfully, especially since they've seen and got to know both boys a little at a party of their son's fifteenth birthday.
Kim didn't show up on this day of grief, so Kevin apologized in his place knowing his friend would do the same for him. When they got home, Kevin just went straight to his room where he let himself fall on his bed with a deep and heavy sigh.
A couple of minutes later his dad entered, “Hey, son.”
Kevin really hated that word, but he never told his parents about his feelings, so he couldn't really blame them, “Hey, Dad.”
His father sat himself on the chair at his desk. “You did good at the funeral. Especially when you apologized for Kim, too.”
“He would've done the same for me,” Kevin answered absently.
“Yes, he probably would,” his father said. “Son, we care about you, you know that right?”
He waited until Kevin took the effort to nod, “We don't want this to happen again, we don't want you to have to... go through this again.”
“Don't worry, Dad. I'm never going outside again anyway.”
His dad just sighed, “That's part of the problem Kevin, you need social contact, everyone does. Isn't that why you followed Kim into that gang?” Kevin just lowered his head in shame, remembering where that action lead to. “You need to learn how to interact with others, so your mom and I came up with an idea to help you.”
That got Kevin's attention, learn to interact with others? They wouldn't... would they? Before he could ask what he meant by that, his father told him, “We're sending you to a camp-”
“NOT A BOOTCAMP?” Kevin interrupted his dad.
“Well it's not a bootcamp, it's a rehabilitation program for kids who have problems functioning in society, both your mother and I think this is the best way for you to go.”
“NO! I'll do anything, anything you want daddy, don't send me to a bootcamp, I'll be eaten alive!”
“Don't overreact! It's not like you see in the movies, they actually care about you and will try their best in helping you become more social and better person.”
“Better? Do you really think I'm that horrible, Dad?!” Kevin asked with tears filling his eyes.
“No, but you do need some guidance in your life that your mom and I can't give. And don't worry, you'll not go alone. Kim will go with you. His parents agreed on it too. You won't be alone, though we do hope you'll make some friends over there.” His father said with a genuine smile.
“But, Dad! I can't! Please don't send me, there are other ways, If I can just- can just...” Kevin fell silent, he wanted to say if he could just be himself, his true self, but then he had to explain to him what he meant by that and he wasn't ready for that yet. What if they didn't believe him? Or worse, maybe they'll see him as a freak and won't even talk to him. At least they wouldn't beat him, because his parents didn't believe in violence. Telling them could get him out of this 'rehabilitation program' as they call it. In the end though, he couldn't bring it up.
After a while where neither of them said anything, his dad got up and said, “You'll thank us one day, son. Just give it a chance.”
Kevin just stared at the floor, trying his best to keep from crying. When his dad got out of his room and shut the door behind him, Kevin let the tears go and cried. Lately, it seemed like this was all he could do.
At least Kim would be there, he'd protect him from the others.
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By Sarah S! Synopsis: [Flashback 1/2] All actions have consequences, Kevin and Kim are about to find this out the hard way... |
“All yours now, Kevie.”
Kevin just stared at Andy and then at the boy they were holding down. “You-you want me,” He swallowed loudly before continuing, “to beat him up?”
“Well, yeah ofcourse Kevie, I mean he's a freak, he deserves to be used as a punching bag. That's just how it is and I sincerely hope you're not a punching bag, I'm just beginning to like you,” Andy said with a smile on his face.
Kevin didn't know what to do, he recognized the boy from a birthday party that he and Kim had attended: Joshua Springer. He looked towards his best friend.
Kim was also staring at Andy, but when he noticed Kevin looking, he cleared his throat and spoke up, “Andy what's the deal? Beating an innocent guy up? Yeah he's gay, it's weird, but he never did anything to us! This is going to far man, I can understand beating up other gang members that our annoying us, but this shit is way outta line!”
Andy scowled at him, “Shut up, Kim! I don't want any fags in my gang, so if you want you friend over there to join us, he has to proof himself. And this is my offer, either he beats up this queer or we'll beat him up, and then we'll just see what we do with your faggot friend.”
Andy didn't just say it, he'd make it a fact, something that was bound to happen one way or the other. Kim just looked at Kevin defeatedly.
Kevin swallowed hard and walked towards Joshua. “Please don't, please I beg you!” he cried out, “We're friends right? You came to my party, both of you...” He sobbed while looking at Kim.
“Shut the hell up, freak! You get what you deserve!” Andy practically yelled at him, before kicking him in his side, which made him yelp out of pain.
Kevin cringed when he saw that. He knew he could never hit another person, even if he was as bad as Andy. At that moment he took a decision he thought he would never dare to make, especially against a bodybuilder. He stepped back, took a deep breath and said, “No.”
Andy just stared at him, surprise showing in his eyes, “What did you say?”
“I said no, I'm not gonna beat him up. And you're not either.” Kevin said taking out his cellphone. He put in a number and looked up at Andy, “Now I have entered the police's number. You can either just walk away and we'll all pretend this never happened, or I call the police and let them figure out what happened here.”
Andy became red from anger. “Take away his phone, Kim!” Kim shook his head. His best friend was doing the right thing here, and he would back him up all the way. He walked over to Kevin and put a hand on his shoulder to confirm what he meant. “Oh let me guess, you're a fag too?!”
Kim calmly said, “I don't give a rat's ass what you think Andy, this time, you've gone too far.” He looked over at Mickey, “Micheal, walk away now and we'll pretend you weren't here, right kev?” Kevin nodded, “And Joshua will do the same, right?”
Joshua was still sobbing a little but managed to croak out a yes.
Mickey just stared from one person to another, finally fixing his gaze on Andy. “If you walk out on me, I'm gonna make you regret it, I'll drag you down with me and you know I keep true to my words!” Andy nearly shouted.
Mickey kept his grip on joshua and said, “Sorry Kim, but I'm sticking with Andy on this.” Kim knew Mickey was regretting bringing the boy here, but was too scared of going against Andy.
Suddenly they heard sirens from far away.
“You little fuckhead!” Andy yelled, “You've already called them! Now you're gonna get it!” Andy let go of Joshua and pulled up his sleeves showing off his muscular arms.
“No! No, I didn't call them they must've heard us or seen us entering or something!” Kevin said hoping this would bring Andy back to his senses. But the guy just leapt right at him. Kevin closed his eyes, tensing all his muscles waiting for impact.
“Ow fuck!” he heard Andy say.
Kevin was confused. He didn't feel any blow, any pain. He carefully opened his eyes to see Andy bending over with his hands on his nose and Kim standing in front of him shaking his right hand. “Damn, that hurt more than I thought it would,” Kim said to no one in particular. Then he turned around and grabbed Kevin's hand and pulled him towards the door. “We need to get out of here now, before muscleboy over there recovers!”
Kevin was a bit bewildered by Kim grabbing his hand and before he knew it, they were already outside the building heading towards the gate, “Wait my stuff is still there!” He said to kim.
“Forget about it, we'll come back for it later!”
Kevin tried to stop and pull his hand lose, which made Kim stop and whisper loudly, “Listen to me, Kevin! Beating someone up, even just the intention to do it, can get you into juvie! And knowing Andy he'll try to drag us both down with him, so we can't be here if we want to get in college one day.”
Kevin still tried to keep his ground. “But what about Joshua?! They're going to beat him up!”
“He'll be fine, Andy and Mickey will want to get out of here too A.S.A.P.! So even if they'd beat him, it won't be that bad, he'll survive! Believe me!”
Kevin was still reluctant but he really didn't want to go to jail. They both crawled through the fence and ran down the street, Kim still pulling Kevin along.
When they reached Kevin's house they went to the back where Kevin left his window to his room open.
Kevin looked like he was about to cry.
“Hey don't worry,” Kim said, “He'll be okay, We'll check up on him tomorrow and apologize, OK? There's no need to cry.” Kevin has always been very emotional and Kim knew he needed to be assured that everything was going to be okay. “Listen, I'll drop by first thing tommorow and we'll go together, how does that sound?”
Kevin was sobbing a little, but managed to say something that sounded like, “OK...”
He tried to wipe his tears away but noticed Kim's hand went up with him. They we're still holding hands. Kevin looked up and saw Kim staring straight into his eyes, which made Kevin's face turn slightly red out of embarrasment. It suddenly went silent, you could only here the trees waving their leaves in the wind. Just when Kevin tried to avert his eyes, Kim stepped forward and bend his head over a little to kiss him on the lips. It was a very short and soft kiss. Kim looked closely in Kevin's eyes, “You were really brave out there, standing up to Andy.” Kim said softly.
At that moment Kevin stepped closer grabbing Kim's other hand and kissed him on the lips, but this time the kiss was stronger and lasted for what seemed like eternity, but even that wouldn't have been long enough for them. They both wanted to cherrish this feeling for as long as possible, whatever it might cause later.
Eventually Kim let Kevin go, knowing they'd both need some sleep if they wanted to go apologize to Joshua in the morning. Kevin reluctantly let kim's hands out of his, while finally able to look away from him. He went to the wall leading to his bedroom window and started to climb. After crawling clumsely through his window he turned around to close, but first he looked outside once more and saw that kim was still watching him. Kim smiled at him before turning around and walking quietly away towards the street.
Kevin was speechless, but that didn't really matter, he was alone now anyway. He laid himself down on his bed looking at the sealing, trying to make sense of what all happened this night and soon fell asleep from exhaustion.
To Be Continued...
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By Sarah S! Synopsis: [Flashback 2/2] All actions have consequences, Kevin and Kim are about to find this out the hard way... |
Kevin awoke trying to remember what happened last, just before hearing a soft knock on his door.
“Honey, Kim's here. He said you were going out to visit a friend?” his mom said through the door, respecting Kevin's privacy. This was something he asked for, so he could safely dress up in his sister's clothes, while letting his parents think it was for other more 'boyish' reasons.
Suddenly, the memories of the night before returned to him. He jumped out of bed, probably breaking a world record in getting dressed. He was going to apologize to Joshua, he needed to apologize. The guilt overt leaving Joshua there with those two homophobes was rapidly growing.
After putting on his clothes from yesterday (a pair of jeans, a simple black T-shirt and his worn out black all-stars), he sprinted downstair, going directly to the door where Kim stood, He didn't bother with getting breakfas because he was feeling so guilty that even thinking about food was making him nauseous.
“Aren't you going to have some breakfast?” his mom yelled after him when she saw him flying by towards the door, instead of the kitchen.
“Not hungr, Mom. I'll eat something for brunch when I get back!” Kevin yelled back.
“Only if you make us a brunch too.” his mom responded loudly from the kitchen.
“Ofcourse, Mom!” he said as he closd the front door.
He gave a little yelp out of surprise when he turned around to find that Kim was standing right in front of him with a big smile on his face.
“Hey, handsome,” Kim said looking straight into his eyes.
This time Kevin managed the look away before Kim could get the chance to kiss him again. Not that he didn't enjoy last night, at least not the last part. But he really wanted to go apologize to Joshua. The fact they were standing in front of his house, with his parents inside and awake, were another reason to avoid being kissed. He really didn't want his life anymore complicated than it already was.
“Hey, Kim,” Kevin said while moving towards the street, avoiding eye contact, “Come let's go apoligize, it's making me feel so guilty, I'm about to throw up.”
Kim caught up with Kevin and grabbed his shoulder, making Kevin stop for a moment, “This wasn't your fault, Kevin. If w'de stayed there to protect him, we would've gotten beat up too. And Andy and Mickey would've gotten away, leaving us to be caught by the cops. Believe me, we wouldn't want that to happen. If you need to blame someone, then blame me. I'm the one who dragged you away.” Kim said this mainly to make Kevin relax a bit.
To be honest though, he knew it was kind of his fault, that Joshua was left behind with those two guys. He really hoped that he was okay. He knew it could've been him sitting there on his knees, waiting to be bashed. But he wasn't about to let guilt eat him up. He was ready to take the full blame for whatever Joshua and his parents were going to accuse them of. Kevin needed to be left out of this.
Since that kiss last night, the feelings for Kevin which he had thought were gone, flared up big time. He was once again having a major crush on his best friend and wanted to do anything to keep him safe, from this mess he created.
Both were lost in tought as they walked towards Joshua's house, which wasn't that far from Kevin's. After a fifteen minute walk, they reached their destionation. From the outside the house looked a lot like Kevin's; A white, two floored house, with a garage and a garden large enough to hold a barbeque.
Kevin took in a deep breath, but before he could step forward to knock on the door, Kim beat him to it. Kim was going to make sure Kevin was barely involved in the conversation, thus making it easier for them to blame him for it all. This is one big mess. Kim thought to himself, shaking his head.
They didn't have to wait long before a sleepy looking woman wearing a dark blue negligee and holding a cup of coffee greeted them, “May I help you?”The mother of Joshua asked.
“Hello, we're here to see Joshua, maybe you remember us? He's Kevin,” Kim said pointing to towards the boy with long dark blonde hair hanging loose and looking like he just got out of bed. “And I'm Kim. We really need to talk to Joshua to apologize for what happened, yesterday.”
The woman's eyes shot open and she let her cup of coffee fall to the ground, shattering on the floor making both Kim and herself jump away from the extremely hot liquid. She looked at the boys again and asked rather frantically, “You know where Joshua is? Where?! Tell me where he is! What did you do?! Please let my little angel be okay!” Tears were beginning to form in her eyes.
Both boys were shocked, they thought he would've gone home after the cops arrived. Kim spoke up, “What do you mean, Miss Springer? Didn't he come home last night?”
“NO! He didn't! Now tell me what you did to my poor baby or I'll make you regret you were ever born!” she said furiously.
Kevin was startled to see Miss Springer so angry, she looked so nice and gentle at the party. Kim however, had prepared himself for accusations like this, although he tought that Joshua would be there, too. “I'm pretty sure I know where he is, but it might take a while on foot, it's at the abandoned building at the end of town, near the horse statue.”
Miss Springer's went even wider than before, if that's even possible, “Oh god no! That building-” she stopped mid sentence to run inside and yell to her husban. “Joshua's in the abondoned building! I'm taking the car with me!”
Before both boys could even blink she was outside again opening the garage door, crawling in the car and starting the engine. Her husband came outside just when his wife was driving the car on the street.
She stopped and yelled, “Get in the car! You boys too!”
They all got as quickly as they could inside. Before Kim could close the door, Miss Springer was already hitting the gas as hard as she could, making the car shriek.
“That building is going to be demolished anytime now!” She said to both Kim and Kevin.
There eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. This couldn't be true! If Joshua was still in there, then... Kevin was starting to hyperventilate. Miss Springer saw this in her rearview mirror, while maintaining the car's high speed and said to Kevin, “Breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth.” Kevin did what she said and began to calm down.
“Now tell me, why do you think he is there? This isn't a joke, right?!” she said to Kim, who seemed to be in a better state to answer her questions than the other boy.
“No! Ofcourse not!” he replied.
“Then tell me what happened.” She demanded.
Kim took a deep breath, “I'm in a gang,” he said. Before Joshua's parents could comment on that, he continued, “I know, I'm stupid, an idiot, not thinking straight. One of my worst decisions ever, but even worse than that is that I wanted Kevin to join it.”
This made Kevin look up, Kim never asked him to. Kevin asked him, even pleaded when he saw that Kim wasn't so sure about it. He wanted to speak up, not letting Kim take all the blame on himself, but was stopped by Kim squeezing his arm. He would have a word with him later on, but for now he let it go, knowing that Joshua's safety is more important than who's to blame.
Meanwhile, Kim was telling them the story about how Kevin was being tested by Andy. Kevin was glad he couldn't see the faces of the parents when Kim told them what exaclty that test meant. Just before they arrived, Joshua's mom said to Kevin, “Well you did a very brave thing, standing up to that bully, but both of you should've waited for the police instead of running.” They both bowed their heads in shame. “God, please let him be alright!” She prayed out loud.
When they arrived at the scene, Mss Springer stepped with full force on the brakes, making the car shriek even louder then when she gave it gas. Leaving the car running, she opened the door and sprinted outside quickly followed by everybody.
“Stop the demolition!” She screamed as loud as she could, “Stop the demolition! My son is in there!”
One of the workers turned around hearing screams and saw a scarcely dressed woman running towards him followed by a man and two kids, “Hey ma'am, it's dangerous here! Stay behind the fences!”
“You don't understand! You need to stop this! My son is inside!” Miss Springer screamed almost in his ears.
“That's impossible, miss, we checked last evening and no one was inside.” The man responded.
“We went inside last night!” Kim spoke up, grabbing both the man's attention as well as Miss Springer's, “We broke in through the fence and ran when we heard the police coming, but we don't know if he got out!”
“I hope you're not joking, or else you're in big trouble for delaying this,” he said while having the sense to run towards the person who was going to set the explosives off. “Hey! Stop! Don't set the explosives off!”
The demolisher only heard him say the last part: set the explosives off. “Okay!” He yelled back and pushed in the ignitor...
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By Sarah S! Synopsis: Kim comes to visit Kevin the day before they will leave for boot camp |
Kevin sat on the edge of his bed and let himself fall backwards.
“Tomorrow...”
Tomorrow would be the day he and Kim would leave to bootcamp. He didn't want to leave. He tried confessing his feelings several times since his father told him, but he couldn't overcome his fear of rejection. What would he say, anyway? Am I a boy with a desire to look like a girl? Maybe a crossdresser? Or is it more than that? Am I actually a girl trapped in a boy's body, a transsexual as they call it, or it could be something in between.
Kevin had looked up a lot of information about transgendered stuff, but he was still confused where he fitted, partly because he didn't really want to know, he might not like the answer. All he wants is to be normal, at least he thinks he does. He let out a big sigh and pushed himself upright so he could finish packing his luggage of doom.
When he was almost finished he thought about calling Kim. “Kevin? Are you in your room?” his mom yelled upstairs.
He didn't feel like replying, but didn't want to upset his parents this close to his departure to hell. He needed their support.
“Yes, mom!” he finally shouted back.
His mother answered right behind his door, “Kim's on the phone, he'd like to know if he could come over to play some videogames, this being the last day for you two to just be lazy.”
“Heh, that's funny. I just wanted to call him.” Kevin said to his mom, while opening the door.
He took the phone from his mom and closed the door again.
“Hey, Kevie!” Kim answered
“Are you psychic?” Kevin asked.
“Huh? er... I heard you talking to your mom and knew the pause was her giving the phone to you, so... no I'm not psychic.” he said with a little laugh.
“I didn't mean that, you goof! It's just that I though about calling you and suddenly here you are calling me.”
“Ooooh that! Well yeah, didn't you know that soul mates are linked together?”
“Soul mates?”
“Yes, soul mates, two people who are...”
“I know what soul mates are! I just wondered why you say we are.” Kevin answered a bit irritated.
“Sheesh! You don't need to get mad over that. I just thought that after that night we... you know... are kind of...together?” Kim stammered through the phone.
“Uhm, Kim... it was one kiss. I don't think it makes us soul mates.”
“But you liked it! I know you did! The way you kissed me was amazing!”
Kevin blushed furiously, “I...I didn't kiss you! You kissed me!”
“Well, you definitly kissed back and not just a little I might say. And I'm pretty sure that second kiss was initiated by you.”
Kevin just sat there red as a beat, suddenly aware that his mother might not have left and could be standing behind his door hearing everything. So he started whispering, “Look I don't want to discuss this over the phone, I...”
“You're right,” Kim interupted, “I'm coming over right now and we'll find out if we are or aren't soulmates.”
“Wait, that's not what I...” Kim had ended the call, “...meant.”
Kevin let himself fall back on his bed once again with a deep sigh. “Great...”
He picked up one of his stuffed animals. He was never able to give them away, they had too much emotional value. He used to tell them anything and everything going on in his life. Kevin looked his oldest stuffed animal, a weird dog of some sort, in the eyes. “I'm so not ready to explore where my sexual preference lies.”
DING DONG
“Kevin could you get that.” Kevin's mother asked from the kitchen, though it sounded more like an order.
“Get what, Mom?” He asked, pretending nothing happened.
“You know what. It's probably Kim, so it's for you anyway,” His mother answered and added, “Oh, and lunch will be ready in ten minutes, so stay indoors.”
Kevin got off the couch with more than a little reluctance. If it was really Kim at the door, things were bound to happen. Things he didn't feel so comfortable exploring, though he couldn't deny that somewhere deep down he was actually getting excited about it.
God, I hope I'm not blushing. He'd never let it go unnoticed. Kevin said to himself when he reached the door. “Here goes nothing” He said and took a deep breath before opening the door.
“Hey cutie!” Kim said when he saw it was Kevin who opened the door.
“Cut it out, will ya!” Kevin whispered, starting to blush.” My mother is in the kitchen and I really don't want her to start asking uncomfortable questions.”
“Where's your dad?” Kim asked.
“At work, why?” He asked suspiciously.
“Well, with your dad out, your mom in the kitchen...”
Kevin eyes went wide, while his blush began to spread over his entire face, “Oh no! No, no ,no!” He said while turning around heading for the living room. “I'm really not in the mood to find out anything and besides, lunch will be ready any minute now.”
Kim stopped Kevin by grabbing his shoulders and turning him around so they stood face to face. Kevin was still blushing hard, while Kim just looked at him with a big smirk. “Well then, we just have to hope she will call us, instead of coming in here without warning.”
Kevin tried to say something, but before he could Kim was kissing him full on the lips. Whatever he wanted to say to him was now forgotten. He even forgot that his mother could just burst in on them when Kim opened his mouth and started to lick his lips. Almost automatically Kevin opened up and let his tongue enter him.
Never has he ever felt like this, but then again he never had tried to even kiss someone on the cheeck besides family members. And those definitely weren't arousing, and were so unlike what Kim was doing with him right now.
He could feel Kim was getting aroused as well, feeling something hard against his pelvis. He hadn't realised they were intimately pressed together, embracing eachother while kissing with a passion he never knew existed within him. Though his own arousel started making his male parts acting up as well, which always made him increbily uncomfortable.
He pushed Kim out of their embrace, immediatly breaking the spell Kim had put on him with that incredible kiss.
“Lunch is ready,” Kevin's mom said entering the living room, where she saw Kim smiling brightly while her son turned around looking really embarrased.
“Uhm... Is something wrong, Kevin?” she asked.
“Oh, uh nothing mom,” He said averting all eye contact, “Kim's just being an ass.”
“Kevin! I don't want to hear such words in our household,” His mother said sternly, forgetting the strange atmosphere she just witnessed between Kevin and Kim. She walked back in the kitchen.
“That was close,” Kevin said while letting out a sigh of relief.
“Why did you stop?” Kim asked.
Kevin just looked at Kim flabbergasted. After a couple of awkward seconds he said, “You want my mom to find out about us?”
“So it's us now?” Kim said smiling.
“What? No, that's not what I meant! Stop twisting my words around!” Kevin said now getting a little red from anger instead of blushing.
“Aw, come on! You know you're lying if you say that kiss meant nothing to you,” Kim pushed the subject a little harder. “So why not try? Why not try and be a couple?”
“Because I'm not gay!” Kevin yelled a little loud. His hands flew towards his mouth to stop him from saying anything else, while he looked around to see if his mom had heard him.
“So that's why you kissed me so passionately.”
“You kissed me!” Kevin started again, but now whispering loudly.
“OK, OK,” Kim said raising his hands as if in defeat. “But you definitely kissed back like last time and don't tell me you didn't enjoy it.”
“I'm not saying that.” Kevin said a bit frustrated.
“Then just accept that you're gay, like me. It's really not that big a deal.” Kim tried to reason with Kevin.
“No, I'm not gay. I can't be gay, it's... I... it's complicated, you wouldn't understand.” Kevin said a little desperate and with a pained look.
“Try.”
“Try what?” Kevin asked.
“Try to make me understand,” Kim said, “Kevin, I... I love you. I've always loved you. Since we were just kids, I've had feelings for you.”
Kevin just looked at Kim in astonishment. His best friend liked him, loved him. And not just since that first kiss. Well at least kevin's first kiss.
“You, you... Like me? Kevin asked
“I don't just like you Kevin, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I thought my feelings were gone after a while. But since that kiss they all came flooding back. You make me feel so, so... complete. Like a soulmate.” Kim said, “So whatever is bothering you, whatever you mean with me not being able to understand, at least give me a chance to try to understand. Tell me what's making you say such confusing things. I love you. I will listen to you.”
Kevin looked at the ground thinking. Could he? Could he really tell Kim, his best friend who believes they're soulmates? Could he tell him his biggest secret? His desire to be a girl? Will he understand?
He raised his head and looked in Kim's eyes, “After lunch.” he said, “After lunch I- I will show you.”
Kim took a step towards Kevin and hugged him. Slowly Kevin brought his arms up to return the hug, closing his eyes.
“I promise you, I'll be there for you. Whatever it is.” Kim whispered in his ears.
They let eachother go and went to have lunch with Kevin's mother, who was probably getting impatient.
ps: My apologies for such a late update, I've been having a little writer's block. Combine that with my rather low concentration skills (my psy thinks I have ADD), it took me a while to start writing again. (I know I'm making lame excuses, but it's better than none ^_^')
oh, and feel free to comment! I <3 comments ^^
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By Sarah S! Synopsis: Kim comes to visit Kevin the day before they will leave for boot camp |
During lunch there was an awkward silence that didn't go unnoticed to Cindy, Kevin's mom, “Okay, what is going on here? First you slam the door of your room in my face, then you act strange in the living room, now there's this really uncomfortable silence.” Cindy took the time to look both boys deep in the eyes before saying, “You're not planning anything to get out of bootcamp are you?”
Kevin and Kim both looked at Cindy with wide open mouths, “Of course not mom! Though I really don't want to go, I've always done what you asked of me. Don't you trust me?” Kevin responded.
“Well, you've never shown such a dislike to anything we ever asked of you.” was her comeback.
“It's bootcamp, mom! Look at me! If I'm lucky they'll just kill me really fast!”
“Now, now don't overreact, first of all it's a rehabilitation camp and second, you had this discussion already with your father, and you did agree in the end.”
“Only because Kim comes too! Seriously, do you know what kind of kids they normally send to such camps?!” Kevin practically yelled at his mom.
“Don't you yell at me!” Cindy said raising her voice significantly, “Whatever you may think of our decision, I am still your mother! You show some respect young man!” She let herself relax again before adding, “Now I'm even more convinced this will do you some good.”
“More convinced?! Why? Because I like to live? You really want me dead?!” Kevin asked his mother while his face reddened with anger. His mother just looked shocked at Kevin. “Fine! I'll go to your frickin' camp! Don't come crying at my grave.” He said while getting up from his chair and running towards his room.”
“Kevin!” Cindy began, but before she could say anything else, Kim was beside her with a hand on her shoulder.
“Let me talk to him miss Blaire. He's just upset and scared. I'll calm him down.” Kim said.
“Ofcourse I'm also scared for what might happen there, that's why I insisted on you going with him. I hope you don't blame me for sending you too.” Cindy said to Kim while looking at the floor. Tears were streaming down here face.
“Of course not miss Blaire. If you would've send him there alone, I would've gone after him anyway. With or without permission.”
“Please. Take care of my baby.” She said raising her head to look at kim.
“I will ma'am, I will.”
Kevin was sitting on the bed with his knees drawn towards him, held together by his arms. How could she send me to my own death. Kevin thought to himself. Before he had a chance to sulk some more on his own, he heard a knock on his door.
“Go away!” He yelled to what he assumed must be his mom.
“Kevin?” A rather masculine voice for his mother asked behind the door. “It's me Kim.” Well that explained the masculine voice.
“What do you want?”
Without answering, Kim opened the door, to see his best friend (and potential boyfriend) sitting there with a tearstricken face.
“Hey.” Kim said while slowly walking in his room. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really” muffled kevin from between his knees.
“Well we don't have to talk about that.” Kim said while leaning against Kevin's desk.
Kevin looked up. Not knowing what Kim meant by that. What else was there to talk about?
“You said you would explain something? Or show me something that I wouldn't understand?” Kim asked.
Kevin's eyes shot open. He completely forgot about that. His heart started beating rapidly.
“You said you can't be gay and that I wouldn't understand.” Kim takes in a deep breath, “Well, I don't understand anything at the moment. So give it your best shot! You can't make me any less understandable than I am now.”
Kevin swallowed and breathed in and out a few times, “To be gay, you have to be a guy who likes guys, right?” He asked in confirmation.
“Yes... or a girl who likes girls...” Kim said still confused, “and you definitely like me, a boy.”
Kevin blushed at that, which made Kim smile in response. Kevin looked away to try hiding his embarrasement. “Okay, I might... kind of... like you.” he stumbled out, “ But that's not the issue here.”
“Could you maybe get to the point of this? You're kinda driving me crazy here.” Kim said a little exasperated.
“Well like I said: being gay means a guy liking guys. Someone liking the same sex...”
Kim looked at Kevin expectantly who still was trying to explore the walls and ceiling as if something interesting on them might happen at any moment.
Kevin took a deep breath, “I don't know if I'm really a guy or not.” there he said it, even though it was in a squeaky whispering voice.
Silence followed.
Kevin looked with anticipation towards kim.
“I'm not sure if I'm following you...” Kim said, “I'm pretty sure you've got boyish parts down there. Unless you've been stuffing your swimwear with socks.”
Kevin sighed, “I knew you wouldn't understand.”
“Of course I won't understand! You tell me you don't know if you're a guy or not and expect me to understand what you mean by that? Give me something to work with please!”
Kevin got a little peeved at kim's biting comment and blurted out, “I'm transgendered! Gender dysphoric! I don't know in what length!” he said with a quivering voice, “Do I just like to dress up as a girl? Am I partly a girl in mind or am I like those transsexuals, a boy in a girl's body?!” by this time tears were streaming like a waterfall down his face. Figuring out his mistake in his last sentence, he started correcting himself.
“I mean-”
“A girl in a boy's body.” Kim finished for him.
“Yeah...”
Kim let out a big sigh and dropped himself on kevin's bed. Minutes that felt like hours passed by without a word.
“Kim?” Kevin asked while trying to wipe his face clean.
“Yes?” Kim answered still staring into space in front of him.
“Do you hate me now?” asked Kevin in a soft whisper.
Kim looked Kevin in the eyes. A little smile came on his face, as he said “No, I don't hate you.” meanwhile gently wiping a tear from kevin's face with his thumb.