It wasn't that much to ask was it? A little play-acting to cheer his mother up and Tom's aunt would buy him a brand new computer for Christmas. It wasn't like Tommy wanted to dress like a girl for the holidays.
Tom's Christmas Diary
A classic by Little Katie from four years ago, re-presented here on TopShelf at Katie's request
A classic by Little Katie from two years ago, represented here on TopShelf at Katie's request
Tom's aunt had an early present for him...
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part One: Hello Diary
Friday, December 20th: Hello diary! Today was the last day of class before Christmas Break. I can't believe how excited I am to be free from school. I meen school use to be fun, back when I was in the 2ndgrade. But I'm a 5thgrader now and it's just not cool to be into all that junk that teachers keep trying to cram into your head.
Anyways, after school I went over by Aunt Jan's house. I come here because mom has to work doubles at the factory. Well when I got here, Aunt Jan had an early Christmas gift for me. Now I never turn down gifts, don't get me wrong. I unwrapped the package like a lion rips through the chest of a zebra. That's a metaphor, my aunt's a english teacher so I learn that kind of junk all the time.
Well, anyway, I open it up and this is what I got, a diary. Aunt Jan said it was a journal, but it's a pink book with a little lock that I opened without even using the key. But, either way, it was the first gift. If they all turn out like this I'm going to be pissed off. I thought it was maybe a video game or something. But it's a book with empty pages. But, I promised I would use it. Aunt Jan seemed pretty intent that I keep up with it, at least through the holidays. So I will, because she will check.
I asked her what I should write, since I will be looking at this in the future with fond memories, YEAH RIGHT. Well she said I should write a summary of the last year, just so when I look back, like its going to happen, I know what was going on in the background.
Okay, this past year really sucked, let me tell you that. Okay first my mom gets pregnant, which actually wasn't the sucky part. I wanted a little brother to play with, I could of taught him some really cool things. Well mom got real big and she found out the baby was going to be a girl. Okay, it was a downer, I mean what can I do with a sister. Well after a week, I thought even a sister would be cool, my friend has a sister and she is like one of the guys, so I figured maybe they didn't get prissy until like junior high and by that time I'd be a rock star and it wouldn't matter.
Well long story short, mom had a miscarriage, which meens the baby died inside her. We were all sad, but mom had a break down. Dad couldn't handle it, he split, he ran off with his secretary. Sometimes we get a check from him, but not real often. Well anyways mom did get better, I mean she isn't jumping for joy, but she at least isn't locked up in her room and we talk and stuff now. School has been boring, and mom had to take a job where she works like 70 hours a week in order to pay for the house.
I didn't even get new school clothes this year, we went to the goodwill store. Wearing goodwill stuff is worst then wearing old stuff. Well, anyway, while my mom works, I stay with my aunt, sometimes I sleep over. Aunt Jan helps me with my homework and she has a big tv, so its cool when football is on or I play madden on my ps2. Okay my 15 minutes are up so im done.
Saturday, December 21. I got to write in this stupid book today. Mom didn't get home until real late last night so I didn't even see her. I go home in another hour, but she has to work on Sunday, so I get to watch football here, even if my team doesn't play until Monday night. Anyway, today we went to walmart. Can you believe it that everyone was at walmart today. I don't even know what we were doing there. We didn't buy anything.
Any way it was weird, I figured that maybe my aunt was trying to figure out what to buy me for Christmas. Well we went to the electronics section, I hinted that I wanted a computer. I think I deserve one. I mean I can do homework on it and write stories and do art. As if! I want aol, this way I can chat and maybe get dirty pictures. My friend randy has a ton, people just send them to him, he doesn't even lie about his age and people still give it to him. Well I made pretty good hints I think. Aunt Jan said that we would talk about it.
Whenever we talk about it I wind up doing chores though. When I wanted a bike this summer because someone stole my old one, I had to clean her garage which took me like three days and I mowed the lawn, and I washed her car. Well I guess for a computer I'd have to paint her house or something.
Okay so after the electronics we went into the clothing section. Nothing was weird, she asked me my waist and my inseem. The inseem really sucks when others check, they put there hand right up in your crotch. They didn't do that at walmart because its not a fancy store, but I just wrote that because I hate it, I really do. Aunt Jan said that girls don't have to go through that trouble. I really wanted to mention the trouble they did have, but I didn't want to start a fight.
Okay then she ask me what is my chest size, well she said bust, but its all the same thing. I said large, because my shirts say L that's all I know. Well she wanted a number. Well she checks right in the store, you know how embarrising it is to be treated like a little kid. Well okay still nothing weird. But then she doesn't even pick up anything. I guess she don't want me to see.
Well then we go into the girls section. I hate that section, its full of little packages of girls unders and stuff. Everytime I am there I think that people will think im some kind of perv. Well my aunt ask the lady there to help her with sizes. The numbers she gave to find out the girl size sounded awful familiar. I guess one of her friends has a girl my size, I mean three girls in class are my size, except you know, up top they got itty bittys. Well half them do the other half have to catch up and quick.
Well okay we went home. We didn't buy nothing, we just looked. Even for the friend's kid my aunt was asking about. Aunt Jan told me I should write now, and this way I could leave this diary, journal thing here. She said I could lock it, but I will just hide it. She never finds my hidden stuff. I have a playboy in the matress for a year now. Well my time is up, thank God, bye book.
Sunday, December 22nd: Hello diary. Again! Mom had to work today, I pretty much watched football all day on the big screen tv. It's a plasma t.v. which meens it's a hundred times better then anything my friends have. My aunt won it on a trip to a casino. Most people win money, my aunt wins a t.v. At least it's a cool one.
I really didn't care about the football games. I mean I am not really like a football fan. I just like my team, or if I play rough tackle with my friends, then its cool. But its Sunday, and there isn't really a lot to do. I was pretty much bored, but it is still a pretty cool television. I can't wait till all televisions are plasma.
Well I pretty much lounged around in my pjs. I didn't even get dressed. For some reason that sounds bad.
Okay, enough of the not important stuff. I found out what I had to do in order to get the computer for christmas. Okay, get this, my aunt wants me to dress up like a girl for my mother for a week. Like no way. A computer is not that important.
Well here is what my aunt said, so in case I have to remember it, I will. She said that mom really wanted to have a girl, and she got her hopes built up on having a girl. That when I was born she was hoping I would be a girl. I was like that's not my problem. Actually I just nodded like a wuss, but I was thinking that it wasn't my problem. I mean I have a reputation to uphold.
You know I was kind of wondering why I havent had a haircut in a few months, I think my aunt was setting me up. But there is absolutely no way im going to dress up as a girl for a computer. No way, not even for 100 computers.
I can't believe she asked such a thing. She wasn't even joking either. That's what I thought, really. She said she would like me to be a girl through the christmas holidays and I started to laugh, my soda almost went through my nose. She can check my inseam all she wants but im not dressing like a girl. I meen I love my mom but I don't think she would really expect me to do something like that for her. What a dumb thing to ask a boy to do. Its like asking a dog to give birth to kittens, its just not ever going to happen.
I can just picture all the teasing I would get. I mean even though my aunt said that I would be staying home the whole time and that it would be just family, I just know that someone would find out. And when I asked if she promised I would only be in the house she didn't say yes. She like tiptoed around the issue.
This Christmas is going to suck, I mean no dad, Mom is working all the time. The only thing that I wanted was a stupid comuter and My aunt ask me to do something so stupid that it makes my head hurt. I can't be a girl, I know enough about boys and girls to know that making me a girl would probably hurt a lot.
I know she meant that she wanted me to dress as a girl. But, here is what I think, even if I dress like a girl, that doesn't meen my mom somehows gets the daughter she always wanted. Right. If I dress as a girl then that means that she really has some messed up son. Aren't I right. As usual, I am.
Oh in my aunts defence, writing in this stupid diary- journal thingy isn't all that bad, it helps me say things I really want to say, without saying them. Weird. I guess she isn't always wrong.
Part Two: Dressing the Part
Monday December 23rd: Dear Diary. Today may have been like the wierdest day of my life. I'm going to try to write it all down before Monday night football starts. Okay, I came over here by my Aunts house early this morning, like at six a.m. Its vacation and I can't sleep in so it totally sucks. But, mom is going to work like 16 hours today, so it totally sucks more for her. I didn't complain because I knew she was going to work.
Okay, so I got over here early. My aunt said I could play some video games, which I did. But all I got is madden 2003 and even though im the best ever, it got boring. I thought I could talk my aunt into letting me get the computer by doing other stuff. I told her I would paint, I told her how I was getting all A's, I told her I would mow her lawn every other day in the summer. But, she said no. So I said okay.
Then I got to thinking, how bad could it be to dress up as a girl and just play make believe with mom. I mean it is for a computer, and I really want one.
I mean all my friends go online and last night I saw a game that you can play online and kill your friends. It looked so cool and I bet I could kill them for ever and not even get them to touch me even once. But, I was smart, I got my aunt good. I told her that I wanted a cable modem and aol broadband. I also told her I wanted the game too. Guess what she said okay. But, don't you hate that there is always a but.
Well she said I needed to start today being a girl this way by Christmas I could do a half decent job at being mom's daughter instead of son. I said okay. Well the first thing she said we needed to do was go shopping to get the clothes for this and she reminded me that it was going to be until I went back to school on the 6th. I said okay.
She then went to her room and pulled out girl unders. I told her she said not outside, she said I had to but it wouldn't be nothing people could tell. I guess she got me, because I said no and she said deals off and since I already agreed then what difference did it make if its unders.
Well let me tell you the unders are weird. First of all there is no whole so you can pee through, you got to pull them down. And they are snug on you, it smooshed my thing all in tight and it couldn't breath. They also had flowers on them, how cornball. Why girls need flowers or stuff on there unders make no sense, its not like people could see.
Okay so I wore them and my aunt gave me a pair of Jeans, they were brand new. They fit snug too, especially in the booty and the hips. They were fine around my belly. I also wore a grey and pink shirt. I told her I wasn't going to wear pink, then she pointed out I have a pink dress shirt. I told her it was purple and she said they were the same color. I hate when my aunt wins arguments.
The shirt didn't even cover my belly, my belly button showed and the whole world knows I got an outie now im sure. I also got new sneakers. They were white and pink but it was a real little pink not like a lot so I didn't say nothing. My aunt must of known I really wanted a computer and I would go along with this gift for mom, because she bought all this stuff. She also made me wear a hat, she said my hair wouldn't do because of all the gunk I put in it.
Okay so I was ready and we went to wal-mart again. I guess that's why my aunt asked about my sizes yesterday because this time she didn't ask. I saw a few friends from school but they didn't see me. THANK GOD.
I wasn't like dressed girl but I looked like a big fruitcake sissy and I don't need people finding out. Even if it is for a computer I doubt I could talk myself out of the beating they would give me.
Okay my aunt bought me an outfit a day. She wanted me to try them on in the store but I said no. So she held it up to me and said I would be sorry if it felt tight. She got all dresses and skirts and stuff like that, really prissy girl stuff. I tried to tell her girls wore pants to, but she didn't listen and the wal-mart lady laughed and said I shouldn't be afraid to show some leg.
How embarrising, the lady thought I was a girl. I wanted to die right then and there.
Okay, so we were done shopping and we got home. My aunt bathed me. That was the worst thing I think. She actually saw me naked in the tub, well there was bubbles, but still. She scrubed me up except my privates. Even my booty she scrubbed.
Then she washed my hair. She did five rinses. She said I had to much gunk in it. When I got out she wouldn't even let me gel it, she said it was part of the deal. My hair is long, cause I like looking like a skater boi. When its gelled it looks cool, but without gel it just sits over my shoulder a little bit. My aunt put conditioner in it and now it even feels soft. When this is done I am going to have to double gel it so it don't hate me.
Okay, then my aunt dressed me. Even worst. First she put on a clean pair of unders. I told her the other ones wasn't dirty and she said that was sick. These were weird, it was a band of elastic on the sides and the cloth only covered the front and the back a little bit, my butt cheeks were cold, they arent use to fresh air that much. They were still tight fitting and mr. Peepers was scrunched up again.
Then my aunt put on this red dress. It was so girly I almost got sick. She then put on these little socks that barely reach my ankles. She then put on these black shiney shoes that hurt my feet. She said I looked precious. I think I look like I need to be in a funny farm.
She tought me how to walk and sit, that was my days lesson. When you walk you can't strut like a man, which I do good. You got to take small danty steps my aunt says, and wiggle your hips a little. I took a lot of practice but I almost got it. And when you sit,you put legs together then squat. No just plopping down like your suppose to. And you cross your legs at the ankle not on the lap. Girls always do things the hardway. Oh shit, I missed the first 5 minutes of the football game, bye diary.
Tuesday December 24th Today is christmas eve mr. diary. Only one more day until I give mom her gift. I hope she don't like it and tells me not to do it no more.
Okay, I don't even remember the game last night, I got tired before the end anyway. Okay I was sitting watching the game and then I felt a heart beat on my willy. I never felt a heart beat come from there, I think its cause it was so scrunched up. I couldn't stop thinking about what I was wearing either. Stupid dress made me miss a football game.
My aunt made me practice sitting to and how to eat like a polite young lady. Why do girls give them selves so many stupid rules to follow anyway. Well I told my aunt I was tired. She said I could get ready for bed and I was like so happy cause I could wear regular PJs.
But, no. She gave me another dress. She called it a nighty. But its still a dress. This one was worst because it was pink and you could see right through it. Who wears something you can see through. It had white fur on the bottom and the neck to and it had no arms. Well Aunt Jan put me in it and my thing sprang up. I was so embarissed she can see right through my clothes and my wee stands up and says hi for no reason at all.
My aunt said á¬Looks like someone likes looking pretty.á® I told her it had nothing to do with the clothes that my thing did whatever it wanted without me telling it to. It did it during a math test for pete sake, and I definitely don't like taking math test. Okay so she let it go, THANK GOD.
I went to sleep. But I couldn't. Let me tell you how bad it is to be a girl and I'll be glad when this is over. That night dress felt cool the whole night and the fur kept tickling me. And the unders kept trying to crawl up my butt and I was picking them out pretty much the whole night. SO I didn't sleep. This girl stuff is to weird.
Okay anyway. I get up and my aunt makes me take another bath and she washes my hair three more times. What is it with her and this neat freak kick anyway. Then she dresses me, todays unders had little teddybears and hearts on them. That would have been cute if I was four.
She then puts on a denim skirt, denim is cool but this one barely covered the bears. I know girls at school get in trouble for this stuff. I think they get in trouble because boys like me try to peek. Then she puts on this white long sleave shirt that has this big prissy heart on it.
She then does my hair, I thought I would die. She braided my hair, and she said good thing you let it grow. After Christmas I'm getting a buzz cut, even if I have to do it myself. Well I had braided pig tails, that's what they are called if you have two tails and not one. It looks stupid and I look like a 2nd grader or 3rd but not 5th.
Okay then my aunt says we are going to the store. I said no way, not part of the deal. Well she says its to pick out the computer. She got me again, can you believe it. She said no one can tell im not a girl. As if.
Well I tell her that its to cold to go out in a dress or a skirt. I figure I got her on that one. No she got these white tights. YUCK! Tights suck. Okay my aunt rolled them up my legs, I felt embarised she saw my unders, but at least I wasn't standing in those unders this time. They felt kind of cool and I thought I would freeze. But they kept the cold out good. But they make swish swish sounds when you walk. Not loud ones, but if you try to walk on a curb one foot in front of the other you can hear, swish swish. Drove me nuts.
Okay we didn't go to Wal-Mart or the Mall. Thank God. We went to a computer store. My aunt bought me top of the line everything. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was getting a crappy wal-mart computer. But this is better then all my friends computers put together. I didn't like the sales person. My aunt almost said this is for my nephew here but stopped at NEF and said niece. How embarrising.
I almost said thank you uncle Jan but all I would need was to get her pissed and not get the computer.
But this guy was like, oh we have great software. I got a hello kitty mousepad and 4 Barbie software programs. As If.
Then we went out to eat to a sit down resteraunt. People make me sick with how sweet they talked to me. Are these people blind, I don't look like a girl, I look like a fruitcake boy dressed up. The waiter even gave me a free Sunday á«almost as sweet as you, honey.á® BARF. But I ate it anyway and said thank you.
I don't pass up free computers and I don't pass up sundaes. This was totally lame though that people treat me nice because I am in a skirt. Maybe they do think im a girl but so ugly that they feel sorry for me. Any boy would look like an ugly girl in a dress.
Oh and my aunt was giving me pointers on how to eat like a lady, GAG GAG GAG. There are too many rules to being a girl, I think I forgot how to tie my shoes by putting to much knowledge in. No matter these shoes are velcro. Velcro sounds cool when you rip it.
So anyway. We go back to my aunts house. Mom is working until 10 pm. Isnt there a law that says no work on christmas Eve. Well I got in and wanted to play madden. But I got bored just thinking about it. I need a new game I guess cause football sounds boring. Well my aunt said I said I have to learn how to do makeup. I'm going to do that and get it over with then I'll do something fun, maybe I'll get a truck to play with.
Part Three: Mom's Christmas Gift
Wednesday December 25th; Good morning Mr. Diary. And I do meen morning because it's 8:30 a.m. and I've been up for 3 hours already. Mom is going to be here in an hour and I figured I might not get a chance to write in you and I promised aunt Jan that I would. Merry Christmas to Mr. Diary, because it's Christmas to.
Okay, last night I didn't have to wear that annoying see thru thing, THANK GOD. Instead my aunt got me a pair of PJs. I mean they were light light pink and had tweety bird all over it. But they had pants and a shirt part so PHEW. I meen its still pretty sissy but they did feel real comfy. They were real cozy and I slept like a baby. The girl unders didn't even bother me, I guess I stretched this pair out enough today so they weren't crawling up my booty. I think we need to burn the first pair.
Okay, anyway, my Aunt woke my up at 5:30 in the morning. No one is up, made me think of that it was a night before christmas and all through the house song. EXCEPT WE WERE STIRRING. Okay so I had to take another bath. After this is done im not taking a bath for a whole month cause I'm all caught up. This time my aunt didn't wash me, THANK GOD. She put a kind of hat on my head so my hair wouldn't get wet. It of corse was pink. And she put these little smelly balls in the water. Now I smell like apricot or pear or something. I think just great a fruit smelling fruitcake. My aunt said I know how to wash myself right and if I didn't she would scrub me head to toe. So I got everywhere, even behind my ears and between my toes.
I got out and my skin was smelly, it made me hungry. But also my skin was really smooth, like that first sleeping dress was I think. I think I know why girls do that bath ball stuff. When the air hit me it was cool and gave me goose pimples all over, it kind of felt good. I didn't tell my aunt though, she would make me smell like fruit all the time.
Okay todays unders are candy caines and christmas trees. These must be bigger coz they don't feel so weird and they are just the right snug on my booty. MR. Willy didn't act up either, which is good cause my aunt was going to dress me. Okay I got out, I had the towel wrapped under my arms so I wasn't pransing around like a fairy in girl unders, I was in a towel ok. First thing my aunt did was dry me off better, I hate that. She put some powder on me to, so I smell like a baby fruit smelling fruitcake.
She then got a new pair of tites, except they arent tites, they are panty hose. They are the same thing and go on the same way but have a different name, does that sound stupid or what. These were real thin tho, and all on my legs were little white hearts, and the middle part covered up the candy caines. You can hardly see them. You can see my feet through them. My aunt says that's why they are different from tites but they are still the same thing in my book. But once they was on and I knew they were on I felt the heart beet in my willy again, I don't know why it keeps doing this, its anoying and I'm afraid aunt Jan knows about it.
Okay, now she got a velvet green dress. Like a pool table I thought. But it's hunter green and I am so glad it isn't a sissy prissy white or pink. This is how stupid girls are though, it zips up in the back. Now if I was by myself I couldn't zip it and if someone doesn't help me tonight I'll just tear it off, but a real girl wouldn't tear off the stupid dress. Then my aunt puts this real big red flannel bow on me. I mean big too, it cover my whole tummy but the bow part was behind me on my but. If I have to take a poo, the bow will be ruined I think.
Okay I was dressed. Then she did my hair. She made it poofy, I'm really getting it shaved now. In the front she combed it forward and said I had nice bangs. BANGS, I BEEN HAVING SISSY BANGS THIS WHOLE TIME. I'm cutting them off to. She put little red and green hair clips in my hair to. This is so humiliating. I also have the black shiney shoes on them. If I look down I can see my face almost I think. Then my aunt sprayed me with purfume, like I don't smell enough.
My aunt then says I can't look at this and be called tom, tom isn't a girl name. We tried some cool ones, like from the WWE but my aunt didn't care for an. Then I said what about tammy, cause my friends call me tommy and tammy is kinda the same and I wouldn't be so confused. She liked that one.
Well mom is going to be here, I hope she hates it and makes me stop. This way I get to keep the computer and don't have to do this stupid stuff. And for the record. I AM DOING THIS CAUSE I WANT THE COMPUTER AND I WANT MOM TO BE HAPPY, I DO NOT LIKE BEING A SISSY.
Wednesday December 25th, Dear diary I know I wrote you today but a lot happened so I think I should write more.
Okay mom came over and I hid in my room at aunt Jan's house. Aunt Jan said that she had a little gift and I walked out looking like a sissy. Mom's mouth just went wide open and I thought she was mad and I was like yes, I can get out of this. I told her I know she was sad because we were expecting a little sister and we know she wanted a girl and that for Christmas until school started I was going to be her girl Tammy that she didn't get.
Mom started to cry almost, she hugged me and thanked me and said it was the best gift I could give her and that she loved me. I was like your welcome but on the inside I was cursing because I thought she would say, you don't have to if you don't want to or but your not a girl. No she said she loved it. She gave me a kiss on each cheek and hugged me a lot and said I look pretty. At least mom was nice enough to lie about how I look.
I know I make a ugly girl, but she was nice and she liked this so much that I guess I can make it until school starts. I meen it will be just around the house and mom had a tough year that she deserves to be happy a little bit.
Okay so we get into the car, sit first then put your feet in so you don't flash the world. Like if someone saw I think theyd have a heart attack. We went back to my real home, which I hardly seen this week. Mom says I can get my gifts right away. I already know about the computer and I'm hoping my mom got me a few new games for my PS2, cause I don't even want to touch madden until 2004 comes out.
Okay we get home and there are no gifts under the tree, just a card on one of it. My mom says my gift is in my room. So I went into the room and there was the computer my aunt bought and a new desk. Well it wasn't new cause the salvation army sticker was stuck on the back leg. I went out and thanked her for the computer and desk as best I could.
She told me that the computer was nothing special that my aunt picked out something inexpensive so I could do homework. I guess Aunt Jan didn't want my mom to know that it was nearly 3000 dollars with everything. It even had a flat screen monitor but my mom is computer stupid so she wouldn't know old from new. I thanked aunt Jan and made like it was a total surprise. I think if I would of told mom I'm dressed as a fruitcake for that thing she would have been mad, and I want her to be happy. Okay she told me that she didn't know what games I wanted but that the envelope would help me pick out something I liked.
I was like score, money. Money is always good, sometimes better then stuff. Well it was a money order for 25 dollars. 25 Bucks can't buy a game, but I didn't say nothing. I said thank you the best I could. Mom started to cry. Honest I said thank you nice, not like "yeah thanks I rather have rabies but a real thanks." She said last year she knows I got a lot of gifts and this year with dad skipping out she had to worry about the mortgage and bills.
I told her last year I didn't get a computer and a cool new desk for my room. But mom cried, it made me cry to. I hate seeing mom cry, it wasn't her fault that the baby died inside her and everyone was sad and she had a right to be sadder then anyone because the baby died in her. And dad had no right to leave with some slut and I can't blame mom cause she is really trying hard. So we just cried together and mom was just holding me. We must have been crying for thirty minutes but mom stopped and said that we can still have the best christmas ever because we had each other.
I think she is right. I didn't tell her but I think I'm going to buy her something with the gift certificate, instead of a toy. A mom and Tammy christmas I guess.
Well mom said we were going to Pauls house for dinner. Paul is her gay friend. I know he is gay cause everyone says your mom's gay friend paul. She said he would get a kick out of seeing me like this. I figure why not he's a fruitcake too. Okay first mom washed up her face and Aunt Jan did mine. I told her going out wasn't part of our deal, she said our deal was for a rinky dink computer and she went above and beyond and I should to. I guess she was right because I told her okay.
So we went to pauls house. He said who is this little princess and mom whispered in his ears. He was like wow I didn't even recognize you tommy. I told him I was tammy until the 6th as a christmas gift to mom. He loved that and pinched my cheek, I hate when big people do that.
At first I thought it was just going to be just him and us. But then Glenn and Alexis came over with there little girl. This is the embarrising part though, they have a two year old and we were dressed a like. I could of died. And to make matters worst everyone said how we looked like sisters. They took pictures and everything. One night I'm going to have to break in like a cat burgular and steal them. They might black mail me latter.
Now here is the thing about Glenn and Alexis, they are both gay. Well Glenn is gay and Alexis is a lesbo. I don't have anything wrong with it, its there life as long as they don't include me. Well they got married, I guess to hide it and they have a little girl, Tonya. So it was tammy and tonya all day, the two sisters. It was so annoying.
Okay, being there wasn't all bad, I'll admit it. It was kind of nice having people notice me, even if it was for the wrong reason. Paul didn't even say children should be seen and not heard, not even once. He usually says it 300 times. Everyone was nice and said I was cute. At least they kept up the lie for moms sake. I think mom thinks I'm cute but that's because im her daughter son and she is suppose to say things like that.
Okay I mostly played with tonya, but that's because there was no other kids around to play with. We played with dolls, but that's because we didn't have nothing else, not because I am becoming a total sissy fruitcake. I did get to eat at the big table, even if I sat next to Tonya. Everyone said again we looked like two pees in a pod.
Now some cool things happened. I got two christmas cards. One from Paul and one from Glenn and Alexis. Get this, I got 100 dollars from each. WOW. 200 bucks. I'm going to get some really cool stuff. Boy stuff like killer robots or football equipment.
Okay and Glenn and alexis also gave me a doll. They said it was for the baby if others were doing gifts. It was so corny, but they said in my ear, go along being a girl for your moms sake. So I did. But they gave me the reciept so I could exchange it later. So I thanked them for the pretty doll as best I could and said I would be the best mommy ever if my mom didn't already have that job.
Mom teared and Glenn said that I was alright. That kind of felt good making my mom so happy that she cried. Okay, at like six oclock tonya got cranky and needed to sleep. I got her in my arms and read her a book. She fell write asleep. I am good at telling storys. But it felt real good to craddle her and make her fall asleep, it was weird but good.
Okay so Glenn and Alexis were watching me read and rock her to sleep. They said I did a good job. I like when people compliment me I guess. Well get this, they need a baby sitter for when her day care is over at 3 so like right after school for 3 hours a day and they want me to do it. They said they would pay 50 bucks. With 50 bucks I can be rich and not go to high school.
At first I asked if I had to dress like this, A GIRL, to do it. They said only if I wanted, SO NO! I said okay and im going to start right when school starts. So that's cool, somethings good are coming out of being a fruitcake and when this is over and I don't have to be tortured with dresses, I'll have a computer, and a job. So cool.
Okay mom wants to read me a story and put me to bed like I did to tonya so I'm going to say good night mr. Diary. I do want to say, that it wasn't that bad of a christmas, but don't tell anyone.
How do girls stand having so much fun?
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Things are still light and happy and I am generally having fun with stuff. Hope you are too, you know if you really like the story, tell me in a comment, then tell your friends. I actually sent two postings to Erin, but decided to combine them and not make my readers suffer.
Thursday December 26th: Mr. Diary, Its Christmas post or whatever the day after Christmas is called. I spent all morning with mom. Well until 9 a.m. then she had to go to work. She read me a story and tucked me in last night. It was kind of corny but I kind of liked it at the same time. I wore another night dress but without fur and mom said I looked absolutely adorable, AS IF.
Anyways I let mom pick out the clothes for me to ware today. I meen she never had a little girl to do it for so I figured why not. I was scared shed pick out something totally sissy baby. But mom picked out this white overall thing. Its like overalls but it has a dress and no pant legs. It comes to my knee. I think girls try to always let there legs show for some dumb reason. I also have a hot pink long sleeve shirt on, GAG GAG GAG. It looks kind of cool coz its dark shirt under white overall. But why couldn't it be green or blue, heck even a dark purple. Not a light purple because that's just like this.
And I'm in sneekers, THANK GOD. My feet were hurting being in dressy black shoes most yesterday.
Mom also did my hair. I think she is liking this, and I smiled the whole time. I wasn't smiling cause I like getting my hair brushed or getting my nails done. Which mom did to match my shirt too. I smiled coz mom was so happy and liking it so much. I think if I knew mom was going to be this happy, that maybe I would of done it and not even get the computer. MAYBE.
Ok Mom hooked me into AOL which is where you chat with people. It's so cool. YOU GOT MAIL, BRRRRRRINNNNGGGG. Mom made 2 names for me, I didn't even know she knew computers. I am TomTer323 I wanted TomTerrific but it must have been taken. And I am also SWTammy154 which mom says stands for Sweet tammy. ICK.
Okay I went on but I didn't look for dirty pictures coz mom was right there and I didn't feel like it anyway. It was nice chatting to people about christmas gifts. I was on as Tammy, I guess I will be until school starts. Girls talk about there clothes a lot. Coz I was in a kid girls chat room and that's what they talked about. What great clothes they got, I told them about my dress and how the baby matched. No one laughed at me which was cool.
Okay, mom went to work. I hate that job. I wish she had a job that she worked until I got home from school then she could be home. Factories suck. Okay anyway I went by my Aunt and we decided to go to wal-Mart. We need another store in this stupid town. We could of went to the mall but that's 40 miles and my gift card is to Wal-mart anyway. I guess I could of waited until after I was done with this sillyness but I wanted to get mom a real gift. Not a fruitcake son in a dress gift.
My aunt was real cool coz she never minds taking me places if I ask nice. She was like but your in a dress and I told her I could change. That didn't work. I tried.
I told her I wanted to get mom a gift, so we went. Wal-mart was insane. Everyone in the world was there which was bad. First off I made a mistake we shouldn't of went. My friend John saw me. So now all my friends will know I'm some kind of fruitcake. He said Tommy and like a total dum ass I said whats up. I should of said WHO or not anything like that wasn't my name. I tried to explain how I was doing this for a real cool computer, but he kept looking at me like I was a total freek.
I wanted to cry. Reely I did, but that would have been a million times worst. If I started to cry I'd be in a dress and crying and I'd have to move to Russia or something cause I'd have no friends. When I go back to school I'm going to have to fight someone. I don't know who, but its going to be the only way to show I'm not some fruitcake whimp sissy fag.
Now here is the weird thing. I ran into Sam. Sam is a girl, her name is Samantha, but everyone says Sam. I guess like my name is Thomas, I HATE THAT DON'T CALL ME THOMAS, but I go by tommy or sometimes Tom. But Samantha is a girls name and Sam is a boys name, so she is changing her name to much. LIKE IM NOT, DUH Tammy is a bit different.
Anyway, she saw me too. I was like great, all the boys know I'm a fruitcake for Christmas and now all the girls will know. She was like Tommy. I smiled back. She totally was like wow you're in a dress. I told her about the computer and she said that was cool. She said she almost didn't recognize me. I would only be to lucky. She liked my outfit and I told her mom picked it out and I explaned that I was doing this for her. She said I was sweet. I liked her outfit to. It was a denim dress and it had little yellow flowers on the bottom. I wonder if I got one of those.
Samantha asked if I liked being a girl, cause I told her that's what I was until school started. Not a real girl, but pretending, you know, for mom. I told her I liked making my mom happy but she said that's not the question. I told her I don't know how I like being a girl coz I didn't think of it. She said fair enough but I should think about it because I looked real cute as one. I said I would but that comment was low. Look real cute as a girl, she couldn't say anything meener.
First thing I do at school is something to her. This way I get back and the guys will no im not a fruitcake. Okay, I got my mom a gift, its real 13 carrot gold plated watch. It is real nice and only cost 20 bucks. Moms wedding ring was only a 1 carrot diamond so this must be 13 times better.
I went over to the toy section, its weird I got 200 bucks and I didn't want anything. It's hard to shop for something cool when your in a sissy dress. I did see something cool but I don't think those little ovens that you bake things in are for boys and if someone else saw and I was buying a girl toy, I'd never leave my bed.
I went looking at software for the computer and games for the ps2. Nothing looked good, this stupid dress ruins everything I tell you. Everytime I looked at something it looked to violent. That's got to be the dress because there is no such thing as too violent. So other then the watch for mom I didn't get anything. I don't wear jewlry. There was a nice chain there with a teddy bear on in. ICK what am I saying. Mr. Diary you are making me nuts so goodbye today.
Friday December 27th: Dear Ms. Diary. I decided you're a miss ecause your pink. It's okay I don't mind that you're a miss so don't be sad.
I gave my mom the watch last night and she loved it. She said what did she do to get such a kind, thoughtful beautiful little daughter. ICK. I wish she would stop calling me beautiful and be honest.. FRUITIFUL. HA! I guess she likes pretending and It's making her happy. She put it on right away to.
I helped her in the kitchen and she taught me how to make chicken cutlets. It was real fun to cook and help. I like spending time with mom, even if its as a girl.
We ate and then sat on the couch and watched a sad movie. It was about a fruitcake guy like me, but he was black and dressed like tina turner. I don't know who that is but mom told me. He worked as a drag singer, that means he dresses like a girl to pretend like I do. But he was taking care of this girl coz her mother was on drugs. It was so sad I was crying.
I tell you it's the nightie, not sleep dress but nightie. I never cry at stupid sissy stuff like this movie. But last night I was cuddling in moms arms and crying coz it was so sad. Mom said its okay to cry. She only said that coz she is pretending im her daughter.
Because rule one of the official boy manual says NO CRYING- If you cry, then someone gives you something to cry about and decks you. I didn't make the rules, I just live by them.
Okay so anyway, I told my aunt I watched the fruity movie and she knew I cried during it coz mom called her last night. Long story short, my aunt agreed to take me to see Lord of the Rings. Mom picked out my clothes again, it was a denim dress. Just like Sam's but it didn't have the flowers. I wish it did it made it look nicer. ICK.
I need to write in pencil so I can errase stupid stuff.
Okay I saw the movie and pretending to be a girl ruins things. I am watching it and was thinking the one boy was really cute. ICK. I don't know why but I was like what if he rode in and picked me up and we rode off and he was my Boyfriend. I wanted to Barf. I didn't like think of it on purpose. It just popped in there and popped out. But I wanted to tell you ms. Diary incase I need to sue my aunt for turning me into a fruitcup.
I decided to go use the potty. I told my aunt and she reminded me to use the right one. I said boys, and she was like NO, you'd get kicked out. She told me make sure I sit when I go make. Okay I never been into a girls potty before. It was weird, it was cleen and there wasn't writing on the wall to call someone for a good time. There arent any pee toilets on the wall either.
I went in to a stall. It was roomy and I sat to go tinkle. Is it me or am I talking like a panzy. I TOOK A PISS. One benefit that girls have is for them to go its just pull down unders and sit and go. You don't have to worry about pants, and you don't have to worry about getting your thing caught in the zipper which really hurts.
The movie was long and it was okay. But it took forever and was to be continued. What a rip off. We then went to McDonnalds after. I got a big mac. Some stuff got on my dress, it made me mad, they always make the burgers sloppy and now my dress got gunk on it. We went right home and cleaned it and put special stuff on it and it is washing right now.
Im just in little kitty unders. They are cute, I wish I had a kitten to play with. That would be fun and there so cute. I was going to play madden but I thought I'd write to you first. I didn't return the doll it is sitting in the box looking at me. I wonder why girls think playing with dolls are so much fun. I liked holding tonya but she is real, that's just plastic fake. Ms. Diary I think I'm going to see what the big fuss over dolls are, I'll write you tomorrow.
Saturday, December 28th: Mrs. Diary, My aunt Caught me with the doll. Okay, I admit, it was kind of fun playing that I was mommy with baby, and I am kind of glad that I was given baby amy as a gift. I named her amy she didn't come named for the record. But, I was practicing breast feeding, coz that's what moms do not because im a sicko or nothing.
My aunt walked in and caught me. I could of died right then. She said awwwww how cute. OH MY GOD HOW EMBARISING. I told her I was pretending to see what it was like and that I could see how stupid it was and I threw baby amy in the corner. My aunt said okay and left. I hope she believed me.
Here is where it got weird, after she left I ran to amy and appologized. I didn't meen to throw her but what was I suppose to do. I couldn't look like a total panzy could I. But I kissed her on the forehead, said sorry sorry sorry and rocked her to sleep and put her in her crib. The crib is the box I don't have a real crib.
Anyway I think that school can't start fast enough, because the more I do this I might turn into a real fruitcake and not a pretend one. Anyway, I got to pick my own clothes today, as long as they were Tammy clothes. I found this real nice blue cotton dress. It didn't have a bottom that went far out like the other stuff. It just went straight down. I didn't feel like poofing out today. I also put on white tights because its cold. The dress was just plain blue, I wish I had a neckless or something to go with it. ICK. I tell you im going nuts.
Okay I found out I was going to Glenn and Alexis house so they can train me a little on babysitting. I got there and thank God I didn't match little tonya. Okay glenn showed me where they kept emergency numbers and a list of things tonya can't eat. She can't eat oranges or anything with lemon in it. Then he showed me how to change her diaper. Ok, this is weird. He put tammy on a towel on the table and untaped the diaper. He took it off and I saw it.
I never saw what a girl had before, I knew it was different but I never saw it. Its not just a hole like my friends say. Its kinda cute I guess. Here is the weird thing, I finally see a girls private and you know what the first thing I think about. Now I figured it would be something dirty, but NO. I was like, I wonder what it's like to have one. Okay maybe its because Tonya is a baby and I'm not going to think anything dirty about a baby that would just be wrong. But why would I think about having one. These dresses are driving me nuts.
Well anyway. I practiced putting on Tonya's diaper. ON HER NOT ME. It's real easy and she didn't fuss or cry or nothing. If that was me and people were looking at my cookie, that's what they call it, they don't use dirty words or nothing, I would cry until I was covered back up.
It was then time for Tammy's nap and I got to give her a bottle of juice. She can use a cup but Glenn says for nap time which is 4 oclock use a bottle and it puts her to sleep. Well I held her in craddle arms and watched her fall asleep. It gave me warm fuzzies on the inside. I then carried her and put her in her crib. She sleeps in a real crib and not a box like my doll baby amy.
Glenn then ask how I'm liking being a girl for awhile. I told him it was driving me crazy and I was thinking crazy thoughts. I didn't go into details but just said crazy thoughts. I wanted to say I beginning to think like a fruitcake, but that would of got him mad.
He said I looked very pretty this way. ICK. I said he didn't have to lie, my mom wasn't there. He then showed me pictures and asked if it would be easier if I looked like the girl in the pictures. Now the pictures the girl was a total hottie. I was like if I looked like her then I guess it would be easy. This is how bad it was, the pictures were of me. Coz the one he showed me last was me and mom standing together. ICK. I thought of myself as a hottie girl. I got to wash my eyes with bleech.
That was a meen trick. But, I guess I am cute as a girl. The problem is I might be cuter as a girl then I am as a boy. Well this ends on next Monday so I don't care. Anyway Sam invited me to sleep over her house and mom said it was okay. Aunt Jan said it would be a good experience. Her parents know I'm a girl for christmas so I'll be Tammy. This is the way I figure it, I'm a spy and I'm doing spy work. I'm not a sissy or a fruitcake. Just a spy to see how girls live and get stuff to use against them. Okay, I'm a cute spy. Bye Mrs. Diary.
Okay I went by Samantha for the sleep over, just to spy you know. Okay, first thing we did was to eat some dinner. Her mom made lasagna, which is probably the best food in the world. Her mom said it was special for such cute company. I didn't know if she meant cute, like handsome or cute like sissy fruitcake so I didn't say anything.
Okay then after that we went into her room. We even closed the door, I'm not allowed to do that at home. Well her room is much different then mine. She has this bed that has a sheet over the top on four colums. It's like a tent, she says it makes her feel like a princess. ICK girls and princesses, as if.
On the wall she had a framed poster of a girl doing ballet. I thought that was weird because Sam doesn't even do ballet. She said she wanted to though that's why it was up there. The girl in the poster wasn't in a tutu. Just a pink leotard and white tites. I wonder how they breath in that, it looks so tight I would sufficate.
She also had a lot of stuffed animals and dolls. I guess that's okay, I have baby amy here at home, and when I came in I made sure she was ok. She was still asleep in her crib. ICK what am I thinking, back to me spying.
Okay, we changed into nighties. Not in front of each other, she has her own bathroom. Her bathroom is all flowery, it looks like flowers and it smells good really really bad. Okay we wore these cool nighties that made us look like cats. They had a way to put on a tail and Sam had fake ears we both can wear. Me and sam are the same size, but I know I'm stronger coz im the boy. Her mom even drew whiskers on us, it was kind of little kid, but we were having fun.
We played house to, she said she hadn't played in a long time but she said she wanted me to play a girl game so I knew what it was like. She even let me be the mommy. ICK. I told her about tonya and how I read her to sleep and how her dad showed me how to change her. She was like all AAWWWW. Girls are so stupid that way. I mean it was cool but why Awww, so gross.
She then showed me her kareoki machine. We put on a show for her dad, we made our own group, the cats. I wanted to be the killer cat's from mars and she wanted to be catlicious which to me sounds so ICK. So we were just the cats and we sang britney spears EEW. I wanted to sing Eminem, but not allowed. My mom doesn't even know I listen to him, but I got it hidden under my bed.
Okay so we sang a song. Then we sang the sun will come out tomorrow. I'm thinking great, didn't mom say something about gay people singing show tunes. ACK. But I didn't like it so it didn't count. Well afterwards her dad and mom clapped and whistled. Her mom said we were divas in the making. AS IF.
Then her dad hugged us. That was kind of freaky. My dad didn't even hug me when he was around. He had very big hands and I was really nurvous I would like it or something. I didn't, THANK God. I meen it is bad enough I look like a fruitcake I didn't want to start feeling like one to.
After that we did each others nails. She picked the ugly red nail polish. The pink one is better though, I mean if I had to pick not that I like it okay. I painted hers and she painted mines. We didn't do lipstick cause it was getting near bedtime.
Get this we were going to sleep in the same bed. I wasn't going to do nothing but I wonder if her parents forget I'm not a girl. Well her mom carried her to bed and her dad carried me to bed. He's strong and it was kind of okay. But I was nervous. Don't tell anyone but I kind of liked being carried, just like a kid though not like a girl. He put me in bed real nice and we got tucked in.
Her mom gaves us a kiss, which was nice, I like mom kisses. But, then her dad gave us kisses. ICK. It was real big and wet on the cheek. They laughed because I blushed. I don't know why I blushed, probably because I felt like a big fruit. I hope I'm not liking this.
I know, after it's done I am going to throw a baseball through mrs. Johnsons window and any girl I see is going to get a snowball upside the head, that will knock this out of my system.
Okay, anyway, we was in the bed and we hid under the covers with a flashlight. It was fun, like camping. We didn't do nothing discussing, we just talked. I told her how my mom was happy to have a girl and that I like making my mom happy. I also told her about seeing the picture of myself and saying I was a hottie. I shouldn't of because she agreed, ICK, IM NOT THE ONLY ONE TO THINK THAT. She said if mom likes it so much I should just stay this way. AS IF THERE'S ENOUGH COMPUTERS IN THE WORLD. I almost hit her but I was just like NO! She said to bad. What she go ruin a good night by saying to bad.
Well we dropped it, and talked about clothes. She wanted to know what I liked to wear. I told her nothing, she laughed and said I would turn a lot of heads that way. GIRLS ALWAYS TAKE ThINGS THE WRONG WAY. I didn't want to tell her that I liked the overall dress or the tights because I don't want her telling everyone. I just tell her my mom liked the green dress, which was pretty nice if I didn't match a baby. Well we must of fell asleep talking because I don't know what we talked about next.
I woke up this morning and Sam was holding me and my head was on her booby. She was up and I thought she would be mad. I didn't like go there on purpose but I could feel the fluffyness of it on my ear. I could hear her heart to, which is kind of cool. Maybe I'll be a doctor coz I like stuff like the heart. I just looked up at her and she was smiling.
Then I realized I was sucking my thumb. I could die. There are 2 things wrong. One I never suck my thumb, not since I was 6. Two I touched a girls booby, even if its with my head and I can't tell no one. I mean I can't tell them I was dressed up pretending to be a girl for mommy and I can't tell them that I was just Tommy, because they wouldn't believe it. Okay so I stopped sucking my thumb right away.
Her mom made us a bubble bath. I was like no way. I never took a bath with a girl and now I did. I can't even tell anyone. Now I know her mom knows I'm a boy cause she helped me get undressed. I think she wanted to make sure I didn't stair at anything on her girl. I wasn't looking because I was so embarrised kind of. I am small there, smaller then anyone in my class especilly after swimming.
Here is some weird stuff. Okay I see sam without clothes, and mr. Willy didn't even move. Maybe I was just scared but isn't it suppose to get big if a girl is nudee in front of you.
Okay we got in and she got one end and I got another. The water felt gritty and it smelled nice of flowers. ICK, I guess. Her mom watched us for a little while, then just left. Is she mad, she left me alone with a naked girl!. Wait, I mean she left her girl with a naked boy, yea, doesn't she know what boys want to do. But, that didn't even come into my mind. I didn't even try to sneak peeks through the bubbles.
We washed and made funny stuff with the bubbles on us. Her boobys stuck out of the water though. I wonder if they like having them or not. I mean do they get in the way or something. I made some on me with the bubbles. I said I was catching up to her. I thought she would get mad and deck me. No she said some girls take longer to start and I shouldn't be embarrised. HELLO IM A BOY, what a fruitcake. I think she said that to make me mad.
It got worst to, because after that we got out when her mom came back. I looked away because you know, I didn't want her mom to think I'm a bad boy and I was afraid mr. Willy would act up. She said, don't be shy we're all girls here, and winked at me. She turned me around and I saw all of Sam. I mean a real look to, AND I CANT TELL ANYONE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME. Well I saw, and she saw me.
She whispered something to her mom and they laughed. I think she said, he's so small he is is closer to being a girl anyway. I think that's what she said but I wasn't sure. I wanted to tell her about water and it making it smaller. But if she didn't say it I would of sounded like an idiot.
Her mom had us get dried and put on these real soft and fluffy robes. We didn't even tie them and sometimes I could see some of Sam as her mom did my hair. I don't know if I feel bad that I saw a girl and really I don't think I'm allowed or that I didn't do nothing. Anyway, we both had our hair done in kind of the same way, but Sam's is longer and has a little curl to it. Her mom said I could get that way to but would need a perm. Which is like NO WAY. I told her I'd think about it and it looked nice or something.
Well we got dressed together. I don't know, maybe this being a girl for christmas is giving me more then I wanted or could handle. But nothing is going on right because I should be like a drooling idiot and wanting to do naughty stuff but the best thing I said was those are cute at her unders. They were but I shouldn't of said that. I'm going to have to defruitify myself after this and tell her she owes me a makeout sesion.
Well I wore white lace panties, that's what Sam calls them, panties, they were just like hers with the flowers in them. They arent real lace, they just look like them. Then we got white fancy dresses well they are ivory and white. Girls have 100 different whites, they make nothing simple. We got white ankle socks and white shiney shoes. We looked like a matching pair. Girls always like to wear in sets.
When we went in front of her dad he said, wow I have two pretty princesses. DON'T THEY KNOW I'M A BOY, I WAS JUST NAKED IN FRONT OF HER MOM AND HE CALLS ME PRINCESS! I didn't say anything though, just gave him a look and he winked at me. Grr this family and winking.
Well we were taken to see a play in town. It was a musical a matinay of Les Miserables they start it for kids real early like 10 a.m. I heard the title and thought les meant lesbians. I was wrong.
Now these were real good seats we were in the center and everything was so close. But it was a nasty trick to take me there. It was real sad and I was crying. I like never cry and here I was crying it was so sad. I think girls are so weird because dresses make them act stupid, it's got to be the dress right. Cause I bet if I was in pants I wouldn't of cried. I was crying so much her dad put his arm around me and squeezed me and gave me a tissue. I was glad it was over. I mean it was really good and I liked it. But I didn't like crying and people seeing me. I mean its okay to cry if you get punched or someone kicks you in the bad spot, but to cry at singing and dancing, I need to bleech my brain and make it work again.
Okay afterwards we got out it was 12 and football didn't start for an hour. So we had lunch in fancy style. The stupid waiter held the chair out for me and kept calling me miss. I guess I can't blame him, I was in a stupid dress. Okay I ate spagehti and meatballs and was real neat. I didn't spill a smidge of sauce on me. I mean I hate the dress but I don't want to ruin something so nice. But it is a personil record for me to not spill something on me. We then got icecream. Just vanilla but still icecream. It wasn't like a sundae.
Then we went back to the house. It was almost kickoff time. Her dad was like do you like to cheer on the teams. I was like, yeah because my team needed help for the playoffs. He said good, that there was a surprise in Sam's room. I was thinking, maybe a boy toy finally. Like a football or a helmet. When I got into her room, her mom had set up two cheerleading suits. I guess I'm the boy toy. The good thing is I saw Sam undress again, I guess. I wonder why she don't wear a bra, I guess not big enough.
Well I put it on, I guess if I got to be tammy and I was being a spy I should try everything. Here is the bad thing though. After 5 minutes I forgot about being a boy. LIKE HOW COULD I FORGET. I was doing cheers that Sam taught me at half time. It was kind of fun, but you know after this is over I'm going to have to burn you mrs. Diary so now one finds out. Maybe hahahaha.
Well then after halftime I sat on her dad's lap. I'm not use to sitting on men laps. Well now it seems so fruity but at the time I liked having him hold me and squeeze me and stuff. He said I was his goodluck charm, and whenever the team we wanted to win scored, he gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and one to sam to. At the end of the game we needed one more score and I said I hope you kiss me again. OH NO DID I SOUND LIKE A TOTAL FRUIT. I LIKE DIDN'T MEEN I WANTED A KISS JUST THAT THEY SCORED. Well he did get to kiss me and it made me happy. I hope I'm just happy cause they won and not that I'm a fruit.
We did a cheer after the game. Do you know that when you jump in a cheer suit your panties show. I thought of that while jumping and it made mr. Willy stand up. I thought I would be in trouble but no one noticed. I don't understand mr. Willy when he should get big he doesn't and when I think about my panties showing he just pops up. I think its broken. Stupid willy.
Okay so anyway, mom picked me up and saw me do a cheer and she clapped and was so happy. I was all rosey cheek, she thought I was happy to be a cheerleader, but reely it was because my team won and I was tired. She stayed and talked to sam's parents and me and sam had a tea party. It didn't even have real tea, just pretend. See the dumb games girls play, even if they are fun. Sam said if I come by again we will play older games but I needed to start somewhere. I don't know what she really means. Well mom took me home in the cheering suit so I can cheer the bucs game tonight. I just got home and the game is almost on.
But I did practice changing on my baby amy doll so I can be a better baby sitter for tonya and I practiced rocking. Mom caught me and so I wrote in you before the game. Now remember mrs. Diary DON'T TELL ANYONE THAT I LIKED SOME STUFF.
Who wants to be the best daughter in the world?
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Five: Cleaning Day
Even with some comments that threw me for a loop I am still having fun. I guess I just want to have fun with this one. I hope everyone enjoys.
Monday, December 30th, Dear Mrs. Diary. There isnát really as much to tell you today as there was yesterday. Okay, I went home with mom and we watched the game together and I did some cheers. We laughed a lot. It is so nice to hear mom laugh again. She hasnát really laughed like that together in such a long time.
I notice something weird, I wasnát screeming at the game. Usually I holler and screem, but I guess I was having to much fun with mom to be mad at any stupid football game. Mostly I cheered and sat against mom and cuddled. I liked the way she ran her fingers through my hair and it gave me the warm fuzzies all over. I wanted to ask her about if boobies got in girls way and if they liked or hated them. But I kind of chickened out.
After the game I went into my room and put the cheering suit on a hanger. I wish I took the cat nighty with me, that was kind of fun. Instead I wore the comfy pink tweaty bird ones. No putty cats on them.
Then I closed my door and had a real good idea. If I got to be a spy and am doing this Tammy thing for mom, then maybe I should do it all out. So I took baby amy from hidden under the bed. I really donát want mom knowing I am playing with a doll. She might think I really like it and that Iám not being a spy. Any way baby Amy doll was safe and secure in her crib. It would be nice to have a regular play crib or something. Ick, forget that. Any way, I changed her diaper, even a doll shouldnát go almost 2 days in a diaper. I change them real good, I bet even when tonya needs to be changed I do the best job ever. Then I practiced rocking her to sleep and sang her rock a bye baby.
Here is how silly girls are. The song is to make the baby doll fall asleep. But instead it made me sleepy and kind of weird inside. Not like dirty weird or Iám doing something fruity, but like I feel safe because the doll is safe. I donát know why, its probably the pink pjs and will go away when I go back to normal. Anyway it was a little nippy in the room so I let baby amy sleep with me. ICK I SLEPT WITH A DolL, REMINDER: WHEN YOUR BACK TO NORMAL TAKE 2 EXTRA BATHS TO WASH THE SISSY OFF OF ME.
Okay, anyway, now that the sillyness is done. I woke up and mom and me made breakfast together. I am a real good cook. We made pancakes. They are real easy to make too and I spend time with mom. I told mom that when school started back that I hope we can still make breakfast together even if Iám not Tammy any more. She said of course, she loves me as a boy or a girl. Cool, any way to spend time with mom is a bonus. But I have to say that if I wasnát being a girl, then I wouldnát of found out that mom and me could do this. Its much better then pouring cereal in a bowl and sitting in front of the tv watching cartoons.
Me and mom sat down at the table and talked. We talk a lot since this started. Itás really nice and I am happy for it. So being pretending Iám a girl isnát 100 % bad, its only 90% thatás a joke. Haha.
Okay mom had to go to work. I still hate the job. Aunt Jan has to meet up with someone so I got to stay home most of the day alone. Okay mom left, and I felt like doing something super nice. So I cleaned. I donát meen I picked up my own stuff I meen I really cleaned good. I donát like looking nice and being around slop. I think thatás what a girl would say and remember Iám spying okay.
Oh I forgot to tell you, I got the coolest overall dress on. Itás black and it has hot pink flowers around the bottom skirt part, and I got a hot pink shirt on to match. It is so cute. Thatás what a girl would say not me, I guess itás okay, honest.
So I cleaned the whole house, I vaccuumed and I dusted and I mopped the kitchen floor. I meen I did a million dollar job.
Then I got to my room. How could anyone stay in such slop. Even as a boy I donát think it would be to nice, but as a girl it is too gross to even stay in. Everything is so cluttered and gross. I took down all the posters of cars and gangsta rappers. Mom never liked them anyway. That helped a lot to. I then changed the sheets to nice white ones that still smelled like lemons. And I put a flowery quilt on it that made the whole room look happy.
Then I thought since Iám a girl for a whole nother week I would put some stuffed animals on the bed like Sam has. I found them in the closet and now the room looks really happy. It took me 5 hours but now the house was so clean and good smelling that it made me proud.
Then I figured, I can go on the internet and chat. I thought maybe I would want to get dirty stuff, but it doesnát even sound like fun. Well I went on as Tammy again, cause I only got one more week before I go back to tommy. This guy messaged me and was like asl which means he wants to know your age and if youáre a boy or girl and where you live. I told him 11 girl usa. I didnát say fruitcup boy because I still got a week left as a girl and I better enjoy it while I can. I meen I better oh I donát know what I meen.
Then he was like what am I wearing? I figured maybe thatás what everyone talks about is clothes. So I told him about my dress. Then he said what about your pantys. ICK. YUCK. A guy is getting sexy with me. I told him none of your business and then he said want to have fun. This is how stupid I am, I canát even blame the dress, I said okay. I thought maybe he had a online game like checkers to play. He told me to get naked. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Why are boys so disgusting all the time. Cause I had 9 other people do the same thing.
Lucky I found this girl in australia to talk to. She is on my buddy list now. She told me how to ignore stupid boys. She told me lots of stuff about australia too, and how it was warm there cause it is summer. She said if I was over there I could put on my bathing suit and jump right in the pool. I donát even have a tammy bathing suit.
She asked me if I liked boys. I said no. She said she didnát like them at 11 either. I was like Iáll never like them coz I kind of am one. Well I didnát tell her, I said that to myself. Iám glad I found her online because a lot of the people I talked to were dirty boys and I would of quit using chat. She said if I came on tonight she would tell me a room where a lot of nice people hang out and I could make real cool friends. Then she had to go.
Okay, I did go to a girl website and read about boobies. It wasnát a dirty one but had a lot of information. I just wanted to know the real stuff and not the stupid boy stuff in the locker rooms. I knew about the babys using them. But they donát hurt, unless they get really really big, then they can hurt your back. They are made of fat and its just a normal part of growing up. They showed a drawing of them growing and what to expect. I now know more about boobies then any boy. Is that good or bad? I hope mom donát get mad I was looking at stuff like this.
Mom came home from work and I already made dinner for us. Aint I like the best daughter son in the whole world. I got a cook book and made chicken breast with lemon and spice. Smashed potatoes and carrots. I had it on the table waiting with candles and grape juice in wine glasses.
Mom was so surprised she almost cried. She said, why did I do all this. I said because I love you. She hugged me so tight my stuffing almost came out. She totally loved the meal and how I cleaned and what I did to my room. She said she donát know what brought on the change but she really likes it.
I think it is nice to be nice to other people. Especially mom. I told her I was working on kid of the year. She gave me a big kiss and said I won.
Mom said she wanted to ask me something to. We are invited to a new years eve party. She said I could go as tommy or tammy because it is people that donát know me, just her. She said Glenn and Alexis would be there to. I told her I would go as tammy. I want to live up to my end of the agreement and it makes mom so happy and if mom is happy I am happier. She said great we will get my dress for it tomorrow. Something adult like.
I asked if Sam could shop with us and she said okay. I kind of trust Sam to help me pick out something really nice. I mean if Iám going to be tammy another week, I should do it in style.
Then mom showed me how to dance. In case a boy asked. I hadnát thought of that. What if a boy ask? Iáll do it if heás cute. OOOPs I meen so people donát think Iám not a girl and then that would cause problems, wouldnát it?
Mom says a lot of the people there are like Glenn and Alexis and I knew what she meant, fruity. I donát like that word any more. Fruity sounds bad and they are really nice. But gay sounds bad to, because thatás what you tell a boy to make him mad. You tell him youáre gay.
I donát know what to use. She said they know about me giving mom a gift so they wouldnát make anything big out of it if I didnát dance. But just in case I wanted to try mom taught me how to slow dance. Itás fun dancing with your mom, not in the sicko way, but like being taught how.
Okay, I wrote to much again, itás almost time for football and baby amy needs a changing. Mom is going to watch with me again. Most momás wont do that, but my mom is cool, I hope Iám like her when I grow up. That I spend times with my kid not be a woman. I think. HAHAHAHA good night Mrs. Diary, kiss, kiss.
Ooh a new years eve party. Do I notice certain changes in someoneás attitude as well. I wonder where this is going. Please leave a comment. Better yet leave two. If I didnát get comments I would write less.
"Hi, cutey!" Now Tammy looks embarrassed...
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Six: Happy? New Year!
Tuesday, December 31st, Hi mrs. Diary. Today is the very last day of the year. I'm glad it is. This hasn't been a very good year, oh no it hasn't. Mom's baby died inside her and you know what, I kind of miss not having a little sister and I never did get to meet her. That kind of makes me want to cry. I don't know why, I think it's the stupid dress again.
My dad is gone, but last night I dreamed about him. I like never remember my dreams, but I dreamt about him last night. In my dream my dad walked in and I was in my christmas dress. He got very mad and started hitting me. He called me bad names like faggot. I don't know why I dreamed it. I looked on the computer for dreams, but nothing came up to help. I think maybe this is wrong for me to be dressing like a girl and maybe I'm just afraid he will find out and completely not love me anymore.
It's me again. I had to stop writing and think for a few seconds. Let me tell you about my day. Okay football got real boring real quick because my team didn't need anyone to win or nothing. So me and mom turnt off the television. Instead we talked for awhile. Not about anything deep or serious, just chatting about the party tonight and what I plan to wear.
I asked about earings, if they hurt or not. I don't know why I asked. Mom wears these dangly ones and I wondered if it hurt getting them put in. Mom said it was so long ago that she honestly couldn't remember. I don't know why girls get earings, it looks like it hurts. They do look pretty because they add color, but I could add color with a magic marker. I don't think girls are smart enough to figure that out.
I also showed mom how I can change a diaper real good. She was impressed. She said it is nice seeing how I pay special attention to my little baby doll. Then I realized, I was playing with a doll in front of my mom. GROSS. I covered and said it was part of her gift and I'm trying to give her the best gift possible. She just looked at me funny and said á«are you sure."
I kissed her and said you deserve the best. She said that she got the best and hugged me. Mom tucked both me and Amy in. I don't know if I should sleep with a doll but Amy might get scared. Stupid doll, stupid dress, making my thinking all stupid like a girl. I can't wait till school. SEE HOW ITS MAKING ME NUTS, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SCHOOL. AS IF.
I woke up this morning and Amy doll was laying in my arms. I gave her a kiss and hugged her tight because I was feeling bad. Then I thought what if dad did walk in and I threw her under the bed. But that made me sad too and I put her in her crib and placed her nicely on my dresser.
I didn't tell mom my dream. I know she likes me being her little girl and I didn't want her to make me stop and her not be happy. Beside there's a party tonight and I'm going to drink champain.
Mom called up Sam and Sam came over also. I wore a real nice denim skirt, it was a little poofy but not bad and a white princess shirt. ICK. And White tights. What is with girls and wanting to be princesses.
Anyway, we went to the mall. The good thing about the mall is that its so far away I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me. It's fun at the mall to. It was even funner as a girl. Cause usually shopping at the mall is boring, but with Sam and my Mom it was so great. First off everyone is nicer to you and really wants to help. As long as you aren't acting like an anoying little bratboy.
We went into this one store that was just for girls and I never been inside it, but Sam said they had really nice stuff and I really didn't have any choice but to believe her. The lady that worked there was real nice and smelled like flowers. I remembered that.
We picked out four dresses and I tried them all on. One was red and real small and tight, I couldn't breath. Another was green but the color didn't go to good with my hair. One was a shiney black one, but I don't think I'm old enough to wear something like that and the top was too roomy. If I was a little more like Sam it would of worked out to look nice I think. But I'm flat still. I mean I'm a boy so I got nothing to hold it up and I'm just doing it for mom so don't you forget.
The last dress was great, it was blue so it really made my eyes look good. It's full length too. That means my legs don't have to be showing. It's got a little poof to it to. It was real comfortable to and we decided to get it.
We also got maching shoes, it has a half inch heel. Why do girls want to look taller anyway. Heels are torture I think. I took a walk around the store in them and felt like I was going to break my ankle.
Okay then we got me a little purse to match. I told mom I didn't have anything to put in a purse and she said maybe I could carry something and maybe someone will give me something at the party and I won't have pockets. I kind of see her point.
Then we went to the food court. Me and Sam walked behind my mom. Two boys passed us and one said "Hi, cutey." That made me and Sam giggle like crazy. They didn't know a was a boy, what fruitcakes. Now I know why girls laugh all the time. Boys are fruitcakes I guess all the time to them. We had chicken from wendy's and got frosty's too. It is snowing out and we got frosty's. We are two nutty chicks. I meen, you know what I meen so hush up mrs. Diary.
On the way out we passed an earing place. I wonder what I'd look like with hearts in my ears. LIKE A TOTAL FRUIT, stupid dress messing with my head again. We drove home and I took a nap and so did SAM. SAM is not going to go with us, because she is going by family. But, she was allowed to stay over and nap with me.
My bed isn't cool like hers. But, I'm glad I cleaned the room. She saw Amy and I admitted that she was my baby doll, until this is over. Sam said that I was sweet and kissed me on the cheek. I could feel my face get redder and redder. Taking a nap with Sam is so cool anyway, she don't kick or nothing. We each had a pillow and she said she was glad that I'm her friend. I'm glad to, she is pretty cool and hasn't made fun of me or nothing for being a fruitboy for mom.
We woke up and it was time to start getting ready. Sam didn't stay to help, she had to get back home to. Well mom did my hair, and she used so much hairspray I thought I would get sick. My hair is now super poofy and the bangs won't move in a tornado I think.
I practiced walking some, it's still hard but I'm getting better. Mom is letting me wear some blush out. Now it looks like I'm embarrised all the time. Isn't that silly that girls do that. Okay I put on the dress and it still looks nice. Mom is wearing a black number and she looks good. ICK I SAID MY MOM LOOKS GOOD. Well I got to go to this party now. I'll tell you all about it if I wake up tomorrow. Kiss Kiss.
Thanks to everyone for their comments. If you haven't commented yet, please do. If you have commented all ready, please, do it again. I like it. :)
Do you think of yourself as a girl? How about when you're kissing? If you're my girlfriend how can I be yours? Too many questions, just...
By Little Katie
Part Seven: Ask for Tammy
This is still a fun write, and I hope a fun read. There is some ease to writing this style, I don't have to do a lot of dialogue, like someone said in a comment. But dialogue is my strength, so I am really losing that. The difficulty is writing down the events from one point of view and trying to get the tone and emotion the right way. Remember everything you read and here are from Tommy's point of view and how he interprets others actions.
Wednesday January 1st. It's 2003. Can you believe that. A whole New Year is coming up. I'm glad the last one is over with. But I don't know myself any more, I think. Mrs. Diary, mom's gift might of gone way out of what it was suppose to. I got to tell you the whole story, so you understand and can see my problem. Anyway my Aunt says writing makes you see your problem clear if you are honest and don't leave nothing out. Here it goes.
Mom and I went out to that party. The one that Glenn and Alexis and Paul were going to be at. I thought it was going to be a bunch of fruitcups so it wouldn't matter if people knew I was a fruitcup too. First off the place we went to was real nice, like high class nice. It had a big dance floor and there was about 50 to 100 people there I bet.
Okay so my mom and I walk in. The heels weren't even hurting. I stayed by mom for the first hour. They kept making me drinks. They were like real drinks but without the bad stuff in them. The only real drink I was allowed to have was write at midnight. Well they are called virgins, any time I wanted one I could just ask, you didn't have to pay nothing.
Glenn was there and he told me how cute I look. I thanked him but told him not to take pictures. He laughed and said he would ask first. I told him he could whenever he liked but it was a meen trick that he showed me the other ones and made me believe it was a real girl.
Well after an hour or so this boy came over and asked me to dance. I was like yikes, he must think I'm a girl. Mom and glenn and Alexis said go ahead and have fun. Well this boy was a sophmore in high school and he was 16 just 2 days earlier. He wrestles too, and he drives an old ford muscle car. He was cute. I mean, if I was really a girl I would find him cute, I guess.
Well we were dancing, it was really really fun. I mean even more fun then dancing with my mom. Glenn even took pictures, he told me after I was done. Well this boy, his name is Vince, isn't that a cool name. Well we was dancing and you could feel he had lots of muscles. I told him I was 11 and still 3 weeks away from being 12.
He said he wouldn't tell anyone if I didn't. He said I was the cutest girl here. Well, there weren't many kids here for him to chose from. There were like 8 other girls and 3 of them were younger and the others had boy friends. Well I think they did cause I only saw them with one boy all night.
Dancing with another boy wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. But, here is the problem, I was really liking it. I don't know why, I think dresses make you think really stupid stuff. But, I was dancing and forgot all about not being a real girl but just a pretend one for mom.
Well, after dancing he took me out on the balcony. It was chilly out there and he put his coat on me. He is really a nice boy. Maybe when this is over we can be friends but I doubt it. He pointed out some of the constilations, he is learning it in school, I told him all I was learning was pre algebra and grammar. He said it gets better. I laughed and smiled. High school is far away I still need to get passed this year.
Well after being outside for a little we went in and do a slow dance. I don't know why but I put my head on his chest. I kind of liked that too, I think something might really be wrong with me. Why would I like something like that. Well after a slow dance we went down to his car. His parents came in a limo but he wanted to drive he said. His car is really cool and all leathery smelling.
We sat in his car to just talk, but part of me was nervous because maybe he would think I was a real girl and try to get fresh. I told My mom and Glenn and Paul where I would be, first. My fear was he would try to get fresh, then find out I wasn't a girl, then he would kill me and I would deserve it. But he didn't try to get fresh. He was a very nice boy. I sat on my side and he sat on his. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I almost BARFED. I just said no, he said it was hard to find that first one. He then asked if I was allowed to have one. I said I didn't know, because I never asked mom if I was allowed, not even for a girlfriend. He said fair enough.
We spent some time just chatting about nothing, it was real nice though, we didn't chat like two boys do about nothing and telling disgusting jokes. I got to know him, that's why I know he wrestles, he's going to win the olympics one day. He invited me to watch him. I might go as tommy when this is all over, he probably won't notice me. It was nice to be asked, he even said please. I said I would try and that made him smile. He took me back up to the party, we talked for almost an hour. I never talked to a boy for an hour about serious stuff.
Well at 11:30. I remember the time exactly. I was sitting in a chair after another dance, and now my feet were a little hurting. Vince said that at midnight after the toast it was a tradition to kiss the person your with. I didn't want to tell him, but I think it would have been wrong to have him kiss a boy without him knowing. And with so many people there I wouldn't get my butt kicked for that long.
I told him, I need to tell you something first. He said á«that your not all girl yet.' I said á«yeah how did you know.' He said that paul told him about you and that he didn't mind one bit and he thought I was cute anyway. I asked him if he was gay. I don't know why I asked, I guess I was so off guard it just came out. He laughed and said no, he just likes the pretty people girl or not.
Well I don't know why I did it, but I told him he could kiss me. That was such a big mistake. Well midnight came and I had spent the whole time with vince. We were counting down and hit 2003 and we clinked our glasses and drank some champain.
Then it happened, it kind of makes me sad to think about it.
He leaned over and kissed me right on the lips. Not a little baby kiss, but a real grown up kiss. Here is the problem though, I didn't hate it. I should of hated it right, I mean if I am normal. It wasn't like a gross make out kiss either, it was a real kiss, but nice and sweet and I THINK I LIKE IT. I can't like it, can I?
We danced again and I was like in shock. My mom saw too, she was like I guess you really liked that boy. I said I guess so, I don't know. She asked if I liked the kiss, I didn't answer and just blushed and buried my head. I think that made things worst. How could I like being kissed by a boy. Can it be the stupid dress. I don't know. I hope so.
Well after the dance me and vince sat down. He thanked me and asked for my number. I gave it to him and my email addresses to. He asked who should I ask for, I told him ask for tammy. I don't know why, I just did. It wasn't even bad to think oh him thinking of me as tammy. Maybe I'm going nuts.
He gave me his aol name too and phone number. It was a good thing I had the purse with me or I would of lost the paper. I woke up this morning and I didn't even want to get out of bed. I woke up and remembered what I did last night and just started crying like a pansy. What's wrong with me?
My Mom came in and asked me what was wrong. I told her. She said am I crying because I kissed a boy. For some reason I told her the truth and said no, I think I liked it. Then I started crying more. She said it was a part of finding myself. But who or what am I? Am I really a fruit cake, like Glenn and Paul.
Maybe it is just the dress. I kind of get into things to far when I am pretending. Once I played d &d for a few months and started learning how to sword fight for real. Maybe I just get to into things. Yeah that's it. I'm like probably going to be a real famous actor because I can play a lot of roles and get into them. I'm not a fruitcake, I'm just a real good actor. So I'm normal, and very talented. I hope.
Anyway, mom got to work tonight and I am going to go by my Aunt's and we are going to pick up Sam and spend the evening together. Thanks for listening Mrs. Diary, you've been a big help. Kiss, Kiss.
Thursday, January 2nd, Hi Mrs Diary. It's another day and like I promised I am still writing to you.
I don't know if I feel better or worst about everything that has happened. I mean is it so terrible that I liked the kiss, probably. I mean it is just that I take things to far I think and maybe I took this being a girl for christmas to far. So maybe it's not really me doing all this fruitiful stuff, just this character I'm playing. I read that sometimes actors get so into roles that they live them out until they finish shooting the movie. So basically, I'm not a fruit, I just got to wait until the game is over. I hope. I think. I don't know. It's only a few more days anyways.
Okay, my day. Last night I went by aunt Jan's with Sam. Hey they both got 3 letters in there name and they kind of ryme, cool. Okay, I told sam and my aunt everything that happened at the party. I meen everything, even the kissing. We were all giggling about it and they were making fun jokes about it.
It's different when girls make jokes. When boys make jokes, its usually to hurt your feelings and make you feel sad. When girls make jokes they are doing it to make you feel better and happy. Maybe it's the way they say things, but I was having a lot of fun. Even if it was about me being a fruit. I mean I didn't say that to them, but I was thinking it sometimes. Sometimes I didn't think it, and I was just happy with myself. I just felt like Tammy.
That kind of worries me that sometimes I forget I'm a boy. I can't find anything online about it, I don't know where to start looking. Okay, anyway, so we had a long talk session, then Sam and I went into my room at my aunt's. First off she was allowed to spend the night, she wore one of my nities.
But we got in the room and we started talking about the kiss again. She hasn't kissed anyone so I beat her to it. I said it was nice. Then I started to cry. I told her it scared me I liked it. She hugged me and said everyone gets scared the first time. I don't think she realizes that I didn't meen I was scared I kissed, but that I was scared because I kissed a boy and liked it kind of.
Well then I said I didn't know if vince liked it back. I never kissed before and I don't know if I did it right. That's when it happened. Sam said lets practice and we kissed each other. I couldn't believe it. I liked that to. I liked it the same way I liked Vince's kiss. We both agreed it was real nice and practiced more.
Then she said á«see I'm not scared or sad.' I told her á«but you didn't kiss another girl.' She said á«Yes I did, I kissed you, TAMMY.' I said á«well if you think I'm a girl, why did you kiss me.' She said á«it's okay for girls to kiss for practice, a lot do it.' I was like wow, I never heard of 2 boys practicing kissing.
I wonder if girls do that all the time together. I didn't ask. I know me and sam practiced kissing 5 times. The last 3 I did thinking in my head I was Tammy. Kissing a girl is way different then kissing a boy. It's a lot softer and slower.
After we finished all our kissing I asked if she was my girlfriend, she said yes, and I'm hers. I said á«I'm your boyfriend?' She said á«no,you're my girlfriend too, were girlfriends.' What's that mean, is she a lesbo or something. How can I be her girlfriend I'm not really a girl. It's been driving me nuts all day. How are we both girlfriends.
Anyway, We went to bed and got under the covers with a flashlight. That's fun. I asked her if she really sees me as tammy or as tommy pretending. She said really as tammy. I asked her how?. She said it wasn't very hard to see me as tammy her bestest girlfriend. I wonder if she throwed that last part in to drive me nuts.
I said you know I go back to tommy on Monday. She said she knew and that she will be tommy's friend still but not like as close as she is with Tammy. Is this girl fruitloops or what. We are the same person. Why is she driving me nuts for.
Okay this morning we woke up and made pancakes. Little baby pancakes, not the real big ones like mom and I made. Cooking is fun, I think I won't give that up when I go back to normal. We didn't even make a mess and they tasted really really good with strawberry syrup.
After we took Sam to her house and I went to watch Tonya. I'm glad that Glenn and Alexis thinks I'm responsible enough to watch her. It's a lot of fun too and not hard. She loves me and doesn't fuss or cry. I hope she don't mistake tammy and tommy for 2 different people. I like when I rock her to sleep, it still gives me the warm fuzzies all over. I think I would make a good mother. I mean, you know, if I was a real girl, I would.
After I was done I walked home. I was skipping. GROSS. I don't know what came over me to make me do it. No one even looked at me funny for doing it. Mom really liked my dress today. It's a white floral dress with a kind of bib thingy at the top. I curtsyed mom. A curtsy is like a bow for a girl, it is hard to do. That's because girls don't like doing anything simple. Well, mom and I are going to cook dinner now. Night night Mrs. Diary.
If someone likes you, no matter how you're dressed, what are you supposed to do?
Tom's Christmas Diary
Part Eight: This Kiss
This is still a lot of fun to write. I do have another project going on at the same time, but this is a polar opposite. I am hoping that everyone is enjoying this little tidbit and where it is going. I am trying to keep it light and fluffy.
Let's see what has happened today and tonight. Well last night I made ziti with Mom. I am a real good cooker. It came out tasting so goodand mom said it was the best she has ever tasted. Maybe I can be a chef when I grow up. Cooking is kind of fun.
Mom tucked me in with baby Amy, and I went right to sleep. I feel sad for baby Amy, she won't have a mommy anymore after Sunday night. Maybe I'll give her away to Tonya, this way they can have each other.
I woke up and I had another bad dream about my dad finding me in a dress. But this time he didn't know who I was. He kept going have you seen my son, and I kept going it's me, Daddy, and he kept going don't be silly you're a girland my son's a boy. It just kept going over and over like that. I don't really know what the dream means but I remembered it and this is the second time I remembered a dream and I never ever even remember one.
I got up and I made Mom some breakfast in bed. She was so happy at the surprise. I have a little cookbook and it has french toast, which is the breakfast for kings and queens it's so good. Well I followed the recipe for the french toast to a tee, and they came out perfect. Mom was so happy that I gave her such good food and I even gave her orange juice and I put a flower in a glass to. It was so perfect.
She said 'all you need now is a maid outfit.' I said I don't have one and we laughed. She said I really was the best kid ever, and smooched me on the cheek. I sat on her bed for an hour and then she had to get ready for work. She don't get much overtime now that christmas is up but she is covering for someone a little early. But she said we will have a mom-daughter weekend out if I like. I told her I wouldn't like it but would love it and I gave her a big kiss on the cheek.
When mom went to work I got on the computer. Vince left me an email. It was little dancing bears on a pink backround. Part of me thought it was really cuteand I was so flattered that he took time to write it. Another part of me thought it was so sickening that I liked it so much. He was on and asked to come over and I said yes. He came in 5 minutes. He drives fast I guess.
He gave me a t-shirt from his wrestling team. It is his size so it is way too big for me. He said I looked really cute in my outfit. Which I did, but he didn't have to do such a horrible thing like tell me that.
We sat down on the couch and talked. He told me all about wrestling and how he liked fixing cars. I told him about that I like to cook, he said he better stay away from me because it's wrestling season. It's because of his weight not because I'm a bad cook.
I told him how I got a job watching Tonya and how I really liked it. I also told him I was going back to being Tommy on Monday. He said "does that mean you don't want to be my friend then." I was like "I do want to be your friend but I thought you only liked me if I dressed up." He said. "I like you, clothes are just window dressing.' I think that was sweet.
He said it looked like I was really having fun as a girl though. That was another rotten thing to say, but he might be right, just a real little bit. This is weird with Vince, he isn't like my guy friends from school. When I think about them, I really don't know nothing about them, we never sit down and talk and know what each other are thinking.
Well Vince then goes, you would of made a real good girlfriend. You would think that I would go YUCK or barf or something. But instead, I told him he still had 2 days if he wanted. Why in the world I would say something so utterly stupid, I have no idea. I think the dress talks before I can even open up my mouth. Before I could take it back, Vince said okay.
Then I said something even stupider. I said don't I get a kiss to seal the deal. Now why I go do that. Vince said, oh I didn't think you liked that and gave me a chance to back out. Did I take it... no, like a real moron I said, I am still deciding and need more research.
So we wound up kissing. And instead of even thinking about it, and stuff. I just let the kiss go on and I think I really liked it and I don't know if I should worry because I didn't care that I liked it. Kisses from boys are much different than kisses from girls. Vince was very good and he didn't try anything fresh like boys are suppose to try. He didn't touch my booty or rub on my leg. He just hugged and kissed and I kind of hugged and kissed back. I just imagined I was really a 11 yo girl and I melted in Vinces arm when I thought that. See what a good actress actor I am, I fooled myself.
Vince had wrestling practice because he has a match tomorrow so after talking another half an hour of talking he took me by Sam's house.
At Sam's I told her and her mother I kissed Vince again. I also told them about pretendingto be really a girl and how it made me melt. Sam's mom said maybe I didn't have to pretend that hard. Wasn't that mean.
Sam hugged me and said it was okay that I liked it, and she was glad I found a nice boy. ICK. Why do the Ick's come after I let something stupid happen.
Well anyway, after being teased in a nice way, they asked me if I wanted to go in the hot tub and drink fruity drinks. I said yes. I was more like, sure a fruit drinking fruity drinks what's more appropriet.
Then I remembered I didn't have a bathing suit, but Sam is my size and her mom said I could wear one of them. Me and sam changed in her room. Then I realized wait she is naked again and I'm not even trying to look. Ain't I suppose to at least try.
Then I said, why don't you get mad that I see you with no clothes. And she said, it's okay for girls to undress together. Then I was like, but I'm not reallya girl. And she said, you really don't believe that do you. WHAT IN THE WORLD DID SHE MEAN BY THAT. THAT COMMENT WAS SO STUPID I DIDN'T EVEN REPLY.
Well we put our bathing suits on. They cover up your top and bottom and aren't like shorts that boys wear into the pool. Sam's was all white, she said she only wears that one at home. When we got out of the water I saw why. You could see skin.
Mine was black but the tummy section had a hole in it. You could see I needed to do a million situps. I looked in the mirror and the bottom didn't even bulge out a little. I wasn't even in the water and they were hiding. I wouldn't of noticed but Sam pointed out that I could probably go to the public pool and no one would notice. AS IF.
We went in to the hot tub, and it was nice, I like the bubbles. They have it set up so you can watch t.v. We watched soaps. BARF. At least I didn't go all the way over the edge. Sam didn't like them either though, so I don't know if maybe it's just adults that like them. I then dried off and came back home.
Me and mom are going back over to Sam's to watch college football. It's the national championship game. I really don't like college football to much, but I get to be with my mom and Sam and I get to be a cheerleader again. And sam's dad said he needed his good luck charm and that he has 100 dollars riding on the game. I don't want him to lose so I agreed to be a cheerleader for him. He said when he wins he'll give me and sam both 10 dollars.
Maybe I should of pretended I didn't want to. I mean not pretend because I really shouldn't want to right. I don't know what I mean and I got to go, so night night Mrs. Diary, don't let anyone read you.
Twelfth Night, bargain completed; is this the end of Tammy?
A Christmas Diary -9-
The Last Weekend
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Nine: The Last Weekend
This has been such a blast to write. It really lets me explore a different view of life and writing. It is challenging in some senses. There is a small religious comentary that has me worried, due to my upbringing it isn't a widely accepted view. Please leave a comment.
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It seems our young main character is giving up on using his diary, and really fearing returning back to 'normal', whatever that is. Well, I'm sure he will do what is best. Please leave a comment or an antidote, or a plea. One wonders what will happen to Tommy, why don't you tell me?
Sometimes, it's not over till it's over...
Hello, Mrs. Diary, It's Me Again...
New Endings
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Ten: New Endings
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Please, leave a comment.
Discovering who you really are can be painful.
Hello, Mrs. Diary, It's Me Again
Tug O'War
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Eleven: Tug O'War
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TG crossdressing under-13 teenager rated-pg
"Goodbye, I love you."
Hello, Mrs. Diary, It's Me Again
All Good Things...
Tom's Christmas Diary
By Little Katie
Part Twelve: All Good Things...
When discussing this work, it was designed to go this far. This will be the last installment from me.
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Friday, January 10th, Hello Mrs. Diary, isnt today like a really good day to be alive. Well I think so I think. I don't know whats really wrong with me, or if anything is wrong with me. First mom made me go to school. But I wore good undies and a camisole, which is like a t-shirt, but for girls. School was boring, Sam didn't tell anyone about me and we aren't going to. Mom says no need to create a stir over things. I did have my hair nice at least and didn't have that nasty gunk in it. I even had bangs, Nelson said I looked like a sissy and I told him I looked the way I wanted to. He didn't say anything back, I thought that was weird. At lunch I stayed with Sam and Cindy, we played hop scotch, which I never did before. It was fun, I forgot who won because we was laughing and talking too much. It is nicer when you don't care who win's don't you think. Well after school all three of us walked home holding hands. It was kinda funny but kinda nice not to have to think about things like that. Boy's don't like holding hands but girls do. It just shows your friends, I guess boy think everything has to be bad if it isn't MANLY. We went to my house. Guess what I changed into real nice clothes there. I had a red skirt and white blouse. Cindy was so shocked to see me. Her mouth was wide open and she went "Oh my god, tommy." I said close, and told her about tammy. You know what, she thought it was cool. I swore her to secrecy and she agreed. Luckily Tonya's house isn't to far away. I don't want everyone to know, but I don't want to be scared to be me. When the nurse saw me, she said that was much better, she didn't like the tomboy look. HAHA she doesn't even know I'm not all girl yet. We had a tea party with Tonya, she really liked it with 4 girls instead of teddy bears. I like this job, its so easy. When Glenn came home I told him I told my mother, he was really happy I did. He said if I didn't he was going to have to tell her by Monday. I think he was woried I would of gone nuts, which is probably right. He paid me for the week too. Money is good. Well if you spend it the write way. Cindy went home and Sam's dad picked us up. He said I looked very lovely. I asked him how he knew about me being a girl inside and stuff. He said that people were curious about me and some of the things I did, like the way I stood and held myself and the way I talked when I wasn't trying to be a macho boy. He said when I took my iq test that he slipped in a test to test my brain gender. I didn't know brains had genders, I guess mine is pink haha. Well he took me to a jewlery store, I got my mom a charm, well it is half a heart, her side says daughter and mine say mom or something so we know who we love. Isnt that great, its my first jewlery. Mom loved it, I loved that she loved it. Well I am going to sam's for a sleep over, write you tomorrow. |
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Saturday January 11th, Dear Mrs. Diary. Last night was so much fun. Even better then the first time because now I didn't feel like I was pretending to be a girl. I just really acted myself for the first time. We watched a real sad movie and I was crying and didn't care who saw. You know what the movie turned out better that I got into it. I was still sad the boy got stabbed at the end, he was kind of cute. Then her mom took us to the mall, this way her dad could watch football. I still want my team to win tomorrow, but I only want to watch them. I got my ears pierced and 2 little hearts are in my ear. It was a really loud pop to, I thought I was going to go deaf. Sam's mom took a picture, I looked like such a goofball. Then we went in and got me a new dress. It's a real nice one for my birthday next week. Sam said I will be 1 years old as a girl and she said I should get pampers. SURE, RIGHT. Haha. She is too silly. We then got 2 new pairs of shoes, one for regular walking around, they are black. And one that are matching my party dress. We then went back to my house. Mom totally loved the dress and earings. She says I look like a proper young lady. Ha. Isn't that great, I think. Well I am going to talk to Vince on the phone. Bye |
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Sunday January 12th. Dear Mrs Diary, this is my last entry. I love all that you helped me with and helped me think of. I got another diary, and tomorrow I am going to start writing in that one as tammy, and not some silly boy trying to pretend. Sam's Dad wants to read you, you can let him see my secrets but no one else. I know that this isnt going to be easy and that I am going to think long and hard about things in my life. You have a lot of empty pages too, but you will always be my favorite mrs. Diary. I will read you though from time to time. Tomorrow I start my new life. Kiss Kiss, goodbye, I love you. |
Yes, this is the end of this series. Like How Life Can Change, I leave the ending open. I made this a little blurb to give some closure to the series. It was a real blast and it showed me that I don't always have to write about something dark. Which brings me to my novel. I am going to be concentrating on that primarily. I will write from time to time, but nothing too involved until that project is done. Here is the thing, I give anyone permision to take this story further, as long as you keep it on BigCloset, and you make note that it is a continuation of this particular series and I am the creator thereof. I hope you enjoyed and I hope to see other diary entries from others. -- Little Katie
Erin the editor here, I will accept diary entries for continuing this series under the terms Katie outlined. Please email any entries to [email protected]. Thanks. -- Erin
My take on the first entry in Tammy's Diary - characters and situation created by Little Katie
Tammy's Diary #1
License to Shop!
By Jezzi Belle Stewart
(This is a continuation of Little Katie's "Tommy's Christmas Diary" series, now in Tammy's diary.)
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Sunday morning, Jan.19 WOW, Miss Diary, this is my first entry, and it's gonna be a doozy! I learned that word doozy from my grandma; she said it came from a real neat expensive car way back in the 1930's. I'm calling you Miss Diary because I'm a young lady now and your not my mom, mrs., or an adult, ms., and your certainly NOT a mr.! Your like me now, a miss. My birthday was neat! It was just with mom, but I didn't mind as I would see Sam and Cindy tomorrow. I still got some Tommy stuff, but mom said that was because there were going to be times I had to look like Tommy; she said they really didn't count as presents. Have I got a great mom, or what?! I asked if the Tommy stuff wasn't my presents, where were my Tammy presents? I didn't see any boxes. She said "You'll see." and we had cake and ice cream, just the two of us. When we were done, I started to clean off the table - Tommy sure wouldn't have done that - and when I lifted up the cake plate, There was an envelope with "Happy Birthday Tammy" written on it in Mom's handwriting! I looked at her and she just said, "Open it, honey." Guess what? Inside was MY VERY OWN CREDIT CARD!!! I couldn't believe it. I gave mom the best hug I could, and told her I didn't know they even made credit cards for kids. She told me that it was a program of her credit card company to teach kids how to use credit cards responsibly. She said she was so happy to have a wonderful daughter like me that she had wanted to buy me a lot of pretty things. But then she said, "I thought, 'I bet Tammy would like to shop with her friends and pick out things for herself.' So I got you this credit card instead." I gave her another hug and a big kiss - girls can do that - and told her I was really lucky to have such a great mom. Miss Diary, it had a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR limit! I know how hard my mom works, so I asked her are you sure and she said it was OK 'cause it was from Aunt Jen, too. Mom said to call Sam and Cindy and tell 'em that if it was OK with their parents she would take us shopping at the mall tomorrow and etceteras. I asked her what "etceteras" meant and she just smiled and said wait and see. She can be so irritating at times! Hey, I just used one of my vocabulary words from Friday. It's true; you can actually USE school stuff! She said I could use my new card. Look out stores! It was OK for both. Mom cut me off after about 15 minutes of what are we gonna wear, but I didn't really mind. I went to sleep a happy GIRL that night. Girl birthday #1; wow! :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) If I was still Tommy, I'd feel like a real sissy using smiley faces like above, but since I'm Tammy, and girl's do stuff like that, it's OK. There's so much more stuff that girls can do and not get picked on than boys. If I want to play baseball I can and the worst I'll be called is a tomboy, but if Tommy had of played with dolls, he'd'of been called a sissy or faggot and it's a lot worse for a boy to be called that than for a girl to be called a tomboy. Ha! Now Tom's a "Tomgirl"! :-) I kill me! :-) But I digress. (another vocabulary word!) When I got up, I dressed in my nice lingerie (NOT a school word! Mom told me it was the word for fancy girls' unders.) and a skirt and blouse but mom said to wear plain old unders and a sundress because I would probably be trying on a lot of stuff and that would be easy to slip on and off. That made me a bit nervous. Mom said that learning stuff like that was part of my new class, Girl 101 :-) Funny, mom! I fixed her a nice breakfast of blueberry pancakes to show my appreciation. Then we went to pick up my other two Girl 101 instructors. When I told them that they giggled and Cindy said they would "Take no nonsense from you, young lady!" and Sam winked at me and said she would make sure I did my homework. Mom almost had to pull over to the side of the road she laughed so hard at that; I wonder if she knows more about me and Sam than I think?? As we pulled into the mall parking lot, I got my credit card out of my purse and showed it to Sam and Cindy. Cindy pointed out something I hadn't noticed before; the last three numbers were 007. I showed it to mom and said in accent "Jane, Jane Bond at your service; then we all three shouted together, "Double 0 Seven, LICENSE TO SHOP!" She almost collided with the car in front of her for laughing so hard. "You have GOT to stop doing that to me!" she scolded, but she was still smiling as she finished parking. We're studying World War II in history class, and I bet General Eisenhower and his staff never planned as hard or as thoroughly as Sam, Cindy, and I did for our shopping D (dress :-)) - Day. When we got to the doors, one old guy held them open for us and said "Good morning ladies." No one ever did that for Tommy! 'Course no one ever looked at his chest like the guy did me either. What was with him? there's almost nothing there! I wonder if there's something that I can do to get boobs - oops, Sam says girls call 'em tits - like a real biogirl - I made that up, Miss Diary, biogirl. My history teacher said that president Harding invented the word "normalcy"; if the president can invent words, I guess I can too! Anyway, we each grabbed a mall map from the information desk, but before we could open them up Mom said she wanted her and I to go to one particular store first and then she would leave us alone for a couple of hours to plan our and execute our campaign. We three giggling strategists followed her to a store called Arlene's Boutique. We went in to the back of the store where there was a mother/daughter section. I grabbed Mom and hugged her; this was going to be so neat! Mom and I would match! I turned to my friends with a big grin on my face, but they had a like "Oh, yukk" looks on theirs, and my own face fell. But then they smiled and told me it was all right, that I just hadn't been a girl long enough to get past the "I want to look like Mom" stage. They asked Mom if they could go - translate escape - to the food court and wait while she and I made our selection. She said OK and told them not to worry, that we wouldn't wear our matching outfits while with them in the store. They got looks of relief on their faces and hurried away. I asked Mom what that was all about, and she hugged me and told me not to worry about it and that she was glad she could have me as her Little girl instead of a preteen for a while longer. We picked out matching red and white polka dot dresses and mom said she'd get us matching red shoes and purses while she was by herself. Later, I bought a red and white bead bracelet and necklace set and a red hair bow to match, which earned me a "You are SUCH a little girl!" from Cindy, but she said it with a smile. Mom and I are going to wear our outfits to church today. I gotta get ready as soon as I'm done confiding in you, Miss Diary. We met up with Sam and Cindy at the food court, and Mom went her way leaving us to plan. I found out Tommy's still around, because I drew on his knowledge of war games to help plan Operation Shop Till We Drop. Sam and Cindy were impressed; being Tommy hadn't been all bad :-) What is it about girls and shoes? I don't know, but I've caught it. We decided on Payless to be the victim of our first attack. Sam and Cindy said Cheap shoes would be better while my girl tastes were still growing. If I found I liked what I bought, I could get sturdier - opps, alert! alert! Tommy term, so, yukk, male! - well crafted versions later; if I didn't like them, I wasn't out much money. Besides, at Payless, we didn't have to wait for someone to wait on us. We attacked without mercy, leaving boxes and shoes scattered in our wake. Before the single girl manning (Can a girl 'man' something?) the register clued in to the devastation we had wrought ('devastation we had wrought?' Miss Diary, did I just write that? I must be paying a heck of a lot more attention in English class than I thought. Super!) We had paid for the ones we were actually buying and were out the door. We collapsed giggling on a bench far away from Payless. Sam had two pairs of the same open-toed sandals, one in white and the other in tan. I asked her why she had bought open-toed sandals in January, and she peered into my eyes and told me she guessed there was still a boy in there somewhere. I'm afraid my first thought was 'Women!' Guess Tommy's not going to go easily. I really am in need of Girl 101! As Mom was getting my red shoes, I just got a pair of black pumps with a 1 1/2 inch heel, and a pair of black pumps with a 4 inch heel. I may not show those to Mom. :-) Cindy DID buy a pair of red pumps with 2 inch heels. This is getting long, and I haven't even got to the best part, Miss Diary, so I'll only say things went the same in Penneys for clothes and Claire's Boutique for accessories. Then I saw it and my eyes got big and I moved toward it sort of in awe: Victoria's Secret! Sam and Cindy tried to hold me back, saying their moms would ground them for a month if they went in there, but they didn't try too hard. I told them that I just figured out how to pay my Mom back for all she had done for me, and maybe Aunt Jen, too. Mom had brought us pretty matching outers; I'd get us matching pretty unders - lingerie! - outfits. We knew better than to tear into Victoria's, it would be like desecrating a church. (Desecrating???!!! Thank you, Miss Parsons for giving us really tough vocabulary units. Is this girl stuff affecting my brain? Maybe it's true; girls REALLY ARE smarter than boys, and, while I'm not really a full girl yet, maybe some of it's rubbing off from Mom, Aunt Jen, Sam, and Cindy onto me! WOW!) I found really ruffley and, dare I say it, sexy, nighties for us. The sales girl who helped us was Moms size, and Aunt Jen is Mom's size, so I asked her for two in her size. I didn't know my size, so naturally Sam and Cindy made me try one on. I thought I'd be embarrassed, but it was FUN! It was satin (I read the label.) and felt really good in it. I don't know if twelve year old girls should look and feel sexy, but I sure felt sexy and Cindy and Sam must have thought I looked sexy because their jaws almost hit the floor when I opened the door and showed them. They had red, black, and white in all our sizes; Even though I had tried on the red one, Cindy said that since I was a new girl I should get the white one. I got the black one for Mom and the red one for Aunt Jen. they're under the bed now, Miss Diary, but Aunt Jen is coming to spend the night next Saturday and we are so gonna be three HOTTIES! Anyway, here's the strangest part. Victoria's is right next to Arlene's Boutique, and mom had told us to wait there for her or she would wait for us if she got done first. (After Mom left, Cindy raised her pinkie in the air and told us in a uppa uppa class voice, "One never gets DONE shopping, my dears." :-) We three plopped on a bench facing Arlene's. There were some to die for evening dresses in the window that we had tried on earlier. As we watched, a boy walked up and stood looking in the window at one dress, a black beaded floor length strapless number. We all knew him, Kenny Johnson from our class, and I knew the look on his face. It was a look of pure unadulterated (Vocab again!) longing. HE wanted that dress! I don't know how I knew it, Miss diary, but I did; I knew it as well as I know I'm now Tammy. He wanted that dress. I wondered if she had an Aunt Jen to help her. I got up, not saying anything to Sam or Cindy; I knew what I had to do. I kinda sensed that Sam and Cindy were following me, but I was focused on Kenny. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he flinched and turned. He didn't recognize me at first, but I said, "Hi, Kenny," in my Tommy voice and I could see him recognize me. "Tommy?" he said. In my own Tammy voice I told him, "I was Tommy but now I'm Tammy, and you want to wear that dress, don't you?" I know because I was you last month, and I wanted one almost just like it." For a minute, Miss D, I thought she was going to run, but Sam and Cindy were blocking her escape route and she just finally fell into my arms crying. Cripes, she was a little bigger than me and I thought I was going down with her, but Sam, who's pretty strong, helped me hold her. I'm referring to her as a girl, because I just knew Kenny was a girl inside as sure as I know I'm Tammy. At that point, Kenny's dad, Mr. Johnson came up and he went "What's going on? Is something wrong with Kenny? and I went "No, there's something right." and we three girls got Kenny and his dad over to the bench and I told him who I am and was, and at that point mom came up, and we three talked to Kenny and she talked to Mr. Johnson and we're all gonna meet at Sam's house tomorrow night so her dad can be there, too. I thought mom kinda liked Mr. Johnson; he's cute in an old guy way. But here's the thing. Before we separated, Kenny asked me, "So you're going to school tomorrow Tammy?" Not Tommy, and he didn't say "as Tammy"; he just expected Tammy girl to show up at school. It was like a bucket of cold water and I had a Tommy reaction, which, thankfully, I didn't voice, of "No way in Hell" and I thought of what the guys would do to me, and I almost panicked. But then I saw that Mom had heard, and she was looking at me with love like she'd support whatever I decided, and Sam and Cindy were looking at me the same way. And Kenny was just looking at me like there was no Tommy and I was just a girl in a pretty dress like I knew she wanted to be, and I knew maybe I could make it a little easier for her when she came out of her Kenny shell. Miss Diary, I prayed last night. I'm not a real church person, but what are the chances of another person like me being in the same school, same class even? I don't know what'll happen tomorrow night, whether The johnsons will show up or not. but i do know this Tammy girl is going to wear her prettiest dress to school tomorrow! Mom's calling me to get ready for church. I'll let you know how things turn out. |
(This is an entry for Tammy's Diary. It should come right after "her"birthday. I can't remember if Katie actually stated the birthday date or not. I'm going to use Jan. 17th as the birthday date, and date the entry Jan. 19th. If I'm wrong, I hope Katie will forgive me. :) Please, leave a comment. Thanks. )