They say that everyone has a twin somewhere. What happens when your twin is dead, as well as being a lady. The following story is fiction, more or less. Enjoy.

This series began a couple of years ago, and like many I set it down unfinished, uncompleted. The original Title was Comdex, Clothing, and Confusion. The first few chapters are rewrites.

Comdex — Prelude to Change
Copyright 2003 Beth Williams

Monday

I want it clearly understood; there I was, minding my own business, bothering no one, and no one bothering me - that was important to me. You see, I’m 6’ tall, weigh in at 374 pounds, and I am a transgendered. The evening this all started I was wearing a black floral dress with a purple sweater. I had no fears of passing. I'd worn this outfit to church. I have found that once you reach a certain degree of obesity the differences between male and female body types really starts to blur. I knew that with acceptable breast forms, as long as I conformed to the image of a fat chick no one would pay me the least bit of attention — except to bemoan the fact that such a “pretty woman” was so fat. And yes, that comment had been made about me.

It was Monday, the 12th of November, 2001, in Las Vegas; I was attending the annual Comdex computer show. Yes, among other things, I’m a computer geek. I worked as a senior systems manager for a university in California. The crowds were lighter than previous years, a result of the 911 attacks I suppose. I had traded my pumps in for sneaks after a long day in the exhibit halls, and had taken the Comdex shuttle over to the Cox Pavilion for the annual HP-Chili fest — one of my favorite annual events. The Chili fest was in its 12th year — and all the proceeds went to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I had no sooner arrived than this man bumped into me. He was at least 6’3” , and VERY skinny - a real bean pole. I could have ignored him but was drawn by look on his face. He looked as if he were in shock, TOTAL shock and I thought for a moment he had suffered a heart attack. Staring at me he took a step or two backwards, burst into tears, and ran for the ranks of Taxis. This was definitely a different sort of experience. I took a quick check of myself — was I somehow “read”? Was my slip showing? Why such an extreme reaction?

Weird.

The woman behind me on the shuttle asked what was going on and why the man ran off like that?. I simply shook my head, and the two of us headed towards the ticket counter. Sue, my new found friend proved to be a delightful conversationalist, and we found much in common. It turned out that she worked for the University of Massachusetts in Amherst — near where I had attended graduate school. Sue however, was a chili novice, and had no idea that chili could be anything other something you served out of a can (shudder). I decided it must be my mission to introduce her to real chili. I encouraged Sue to sample some of the more exotic recipes. I had no problem getting Sue to try a white chili. She was a little bit concerned about the fat content in the pork chili, but absolutely refused the rattlesnake chili. I just laughed. As always, the chili's were great. We sampled as many as we could, drank coronas, listened to the music, and compared notes on our respective schools. If she suspected I was a man, she never once then, or later, let it show. Towards the end of the evening, we were both a bit buzzed, and decided to share a taxi back to our hotels. The lights and action of Las Vegas were, as always, mind numbing and I was glad to drop Sue off, and get back to the Excalibur Hotel. A quick shower and I was headed to bed. Lying there, I couldn’t get the image of the horror stricken man out of my mind. When he looked at me, it was almost as if he had seen a ghost.

Weird.

Tuesday

The next morning, Tuesday, I took it easy, and spent some time in Kristina’s — the Excalibur salon. I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure, followed up with a leisurely breakfast in the Sherwood Forrest Café. It’s corny, but I love the whole King Arthur medieval thing about the Excalibur. I was just finishing up when this man walks up to my table and asks if he can join me. Yep, you guessed it, the terror stricken man from the night before. He had red puffy eyes, an unshaven face, and wore clothes that looked like he had slept in them. I wasn’t sure if I should scream or run. As I began to frantically look for help, he lowered himself into the chair opposite me, and began to softly weep. I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to be afraid of someone when they’re weeping. Call it a misplaced maternal instinct, or whatever, but I couldn’t help wondering what was wrong, and why I triggered such powerful emotions in this man. After a moment, he looked up, and tried to compose himself. Saying nothing, with great difficulty, he took out his wallet, removed a picture, and handed it to me. I turned the picture over and found myself staring at a picture of me — wearing a dress I know I’d never seen before. As I looked back at the man, he explained: “my name’s Hal, that’s my wife, Kate. She died in September in New York. When I saw you, I couldn’t help myself. I thought Kate had returned from the dead. I’ve spent the night wandering around trying to understand, trying to find you. As I was returning to my room, I saw you through the window. Forgive my disturbing you, but can I ask your name?”

It was without a doubt the beginning of the weirdest day of my life. Forgetting that I was in femme, I blurted out “John” in a baritone no one could mistake as feminine.

Now I thought I’d seen this man distressed before. This time, his eyes rolled up into the back of his head, he shuddered all over, and passed out. Not a good move on his part. Think about it. I’m sitting, in femme, in a hotel restaurant with a disheveled man passed out at my table. Fortunately this was Las Vegas, and I guess disheveled guests passed out at tables were not that uncommon. I called to my waiter, paid my check, and asked if he could help me get my “husband” back to “our” room. The waiter called a bellman, and they helped Hal to his feet (you would have thought he was totally drunk the way he staggered), and the bellman helped me get Hal to my room.

Why my room you ask? Well, I didn’t want to search his pockets in public, but I definitely wanted to get him to a less conspicuous place. The maid had already tidied up the room. Hal still was not able to focus very well, so we laid him down on the bed. I tipped the bellman, and waited for Hal to come around.

I was glad the room had a well stocked bar. Two Bloody Marys’ later I was felling mellow, and Hal was beginning to remember who he was. I made my third Bloody Mary, and figured, why not, and made one for Hal. As I started to hand it to him, I gave him a little smile. Again, he did the shuddering act, his eyeballs rolled back, and he was out like a light. I am NOT used to this reaction. You might not like fat chicks, but I’ve NEVER had someone: a - run away screaming in terror; b — pass out at my table; or c — faint dead away simply because I smiled at him. I simply had to find out what the deal was with Hal. I sat the Bloody Marys down, turned on Oprah, and waited for Hal to come around again.

Half an hour later, more or less, Hal showed signs of returning to the land of the living. This time, I simply pointed to the Bloody Mary, and said not a word.

“You’re a man?” I simply nodded. “I can’t believe it.”

“If I talk softly, will you promise not to pass out on me again?” This time he nodded. “By the way, if it makes you feel any better, when I’m dressed like this, my friends call me Beth.”

“Thanks, Beth.” Again, he unconsciously shook his head.

“Do you suppose you can tell me why you keep on taking naps? “

“Ah…. Yeah, I have been a bit out of it. Okay, first your voice did me in. There I was sitting with the twin sister of my dead wife and it turns out she’s her twin brother. Or whatever, then, as I wake up, you hand me my favorite drink, as Kate did a thousand times, smiling with Kate’s smile, and I lost it again. You are absolutely and incredibly identical to her in your looks, your smile, your voice, and your mannerisms. I just can’t believe it.” His eyes misted, and he gave me a sort of twisted half smile.

“You do realize you’ve more than sufficiently weirded me out?” I asked teasingly. “Here I am, minding my own business, enjoying Comdex and relaxing in my own special way and YOU drop into my life, scaring me speechless, fainting at my table, causing me to tell the waiter “my husband isn’t feeling well…” my HUSBAND????” I began to giggle uncontrollably, and oh how I hate it when I giggle…. “And now in my room, you’re in MY bed, drinking my Bloody Mary….” At which point I lost it, sitting back on the couch, laughing like a mad woman.

“Can I ask you a question?” Hal said.

“Why not, what else could happen?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you dressed like a woman?”

If you’ve ever met a friend in femme, this has got to be the number one question of all time. “Normal” people just don’t quite understand. “I suppose it’s because I feel at peace this way, I enjoy being feminine, it’s when I’m dressed, feeling confident, being accepted as I truly am that I am best able to relax and be myself. As for others I say: “To hell with convention, to hell with political correctness, and to hell with what other people think!”

It was getting to become an annoying habit. His eyes rolled back, once again, and it was nighty night time for Hal.

Oprah was over, so I turned the channel to Oxygen. There was an interesting interview with Dorothy Chandler on her new romance fantasy. It was a mindless and fun way to waste another half hour….

Hal began to stir once again. “Okay…. What was it this time?”

Sheepishly, he smiled “Kate gave me virtually that same lecture when I asked why she wore dresses when most women were wearing pants. Your tone of voice, the feeling and sincerity were Kate incarnate once again. Woman, you’re beginning to really scare me!”

‘Woman’ I thought. Well we’re past the “weird transgendered freak” stage I hope. “Uh, Hal? You know it’s nearly noon?”

“Lord, I forgot about the time. I’m an exhibitor, and I’ll bet my staff is frantic wondering where I am. Can I use your phone?”

I pointed at it and told him to go ahead. It seemed the easiest way out of what was beginning to make Alice in Wonderland coping with the Mad Hatter appear sane.

I wondered off to the bathroom, took care of the Bloody Marys and freshened up my face. By the time I returned, Hal had finished with the phone and had this strange look on his face.

I began to look for a way to get him to lie down before he passed out again, urging him back on to the bed. For the first time since I met him, he responded with a genuine laugh.

“Nope, I’m not going to pass out again. Since you’re at Comdex, are you in the computer industry?” His question caught me off guard.

“Well yes, I work for a university; I have a modest staff that handles several mission critical UNIX applications.”

“Really?” I didn’t like the mischievous gleam in his eye.

“What flavor of Unix do you work with?”

‘Uh oh….’ I thought, I don’t know where this is going, but suddenly all kinds of alarms are going off in my head. “ HP, Linux, BSD, SCO, a few others, why?”

Hal had a shit eating grin on his face and I'm beginning to think this is really NOT good. “Why that’s perfect!” he said. Do you do consulting at all?”

Is this an innocent question? How do I best answer this one I thought? “Yes, sometimes, doesn’t everyone? Why do you ask?”

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe because my company works with HP and their UNIX products. Would you be willing to help out from now till Friday? I’ll pay you your normal consulting rate and a bonus.”

“Why?”

“I’m not going to lie. I miss my wife. You’re the next closest thing I’ve found, and I’m willing to pay to be in your company for a couple of days. I need to “relax and be myself” and my employees need me that way also.”

Geez, I hate it when someone uses my own words against me. I thought perhaps I could still scare him away. “You haven’t asked what my consulting fees are.”

“You know, if it’s HP-Unix, it’s probably in the $150 to $300 dollar per hour range. How about we go with the high end?” Again, he had that miserable twinkle in his eye.

Since my normal rate was $180 per hour, this would be a premium gig. Forget the weirdness, “How many hours?” I asked.

“Oh 8:00 in the morning till 6:00 at night; call it 8 hours on Wednesday, but there’s also an evening get together on Thursday, so call it 14 hours, and maybe another 8 to 12 on Friday, and don’t forget, you’ve been taking care of me all day today” he said.

Now, I’m not greedy, but by my calculations, close to 40 hours at $300 dollars an hour is the next best thing to $12000.00 for three days work. A sum any BOFH would respect. “And you want me to dress how?” I asked.

“Why dressed as you are now. For the next three days would you mind if I called you Kate?”

Maybe $12000.00 was not enough. Was Hal serious, or a serious nut job? “Hal, Kate’s dead. Do you really want someone else in her place?”

“Beth, I know you're not Kate, Hell, you're not even Beth, it's John, right? So you're not Kate, but you'll do. There were many things I didn’t get to tell her, and she was the heart of my company. Many of the employees would give anything to have her back, even if it's just for a few days. When she died in New York, no one could believe it. They never did recover her body.” For the millionth time today, his eyes misted. I really have this thing about tears, I can’t seem to resist them — though till now I thought it was only my wife’s — and every other woman’s — but it never occurred to me that a man could reduce me to jello by tearing up.

“Hal, why don’t you go get cleaned up? I need some time to think. And one thing I know is that YOU need a nap. You’ve been on your feet for the last 24 hours at least — not counting the naps you’ve had with me. Go take a shower, take a nap, and we’ll talk about this later.” I was hoping that a few hours would give friend Hal a better perspective. I needed to do some more of Comdex to justify my expense account, and Hal definitely needed time to clean up and sort things out in his own mind.

“Okay Beth,” he said, “but I’ll expect you to be ready to continue this conversation over dinner. Will 7:00 be acceptable?”

Uh oh…. Now I have a date, maybe, with a man who thinks I’m his wife returned from the dead. “Just for dinner and planning” I asked?

“If that’s the way you want it. Oh, by the way, I’ve asked my driver to be available for you this afternoon. He has instructions to take you shopping for a couple of little things for the rest of the week, if you accept. Is that okay?”

Shopping? Are you out of your mind? I love shopping, but almost NEVER get to go as Beth. It’s a matter of being responsible with family finances — vs. — what I want.. “Hal, that’s sweet, but are you sure it won’t be an imposition?”

“Well, look at it this way. If you accept, you’re going to need more than I think you’ve brought with you. Do you have a “formal” gown for Thursday’s night party? Friday will be hard and sweaty work, did you bring casual clothes? And, if you are Kate, you’re going to need jewelry appropriate to the part. Don’t you think?”

Formal; jewelry? What am I letting myself be in for? “Uh, Hal…. Isn’t that something to be included in tonight’s discussion?”

“But of course, my dear. Nevertheless, time is short, and I would rather be prepared for any eventuality. Besides, it’s only money.”

The way he said that left me cold. “It’s only money???” I’ve spent my whole life scrimping and saving. And Hal tells me “It’s only money”. Sheesh. “Hal, you are seriously in need of sleep. I’ll accept your driver, but we are going to talk about this, I mean we are REALLY going to talk about this, understand?”

“Yes, love”

Love? Oh My Gosh…. Hal took my hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and then brushed his lips against it. “I’ll see you this evening.” With that, he made his way to the door, and I closed my eyes wondering if I would ever escape the Mad Hatter’s Party? Or was I forever ensconced in the March Hare’s world?.

The answer was no, The March Hare was in control. It was 12:15 when Hal left. At 12:30 Jeeves arrived. I really REALLY wish I could tell you I was making that up, but his name actually was Jeeves. His knock on the door was gentle but insistent. When I opened the door, his eyes opened wide, nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“Madame Kate. I had no idea. I was instructed to accompany you shopping. Mister Stevens instructed me to help you with certain purchases. If you are ready; we can begin.”

‘Stevens?’ The plot thickens… “Please, call me Kate, where are we going?”

“Well, Mister Stevens told me about your harrowing ordeal, the problems with your memory, and the loss of your wedding bands. His instructions are to purchase a new set. He specifically instructed that the engagement ring was to be a solitaire, of suitable size in yellow gold. The wedding band could be in what ever setting you desired.”

A ring? I couldn’t imagine what Hal was thinking. He scared me the way he said ”suitable,” - for Hal I'm sure this meant BIG. You know diamond rings that cost more than the gross national product of some small countries. I followed Jeeves down to the car. Car? Limousine was closer to the truth. Jeeves took me to Boulevard Mall. My first destination: the jewelry stores. Jewelry stores plural, as in six different stores. Jeeves took his instructions seriously; his employer told him ”suitable”, and nothing less would do. After the sixth store, I told him, to stop, and I went back to Bailey Banks and Biddle jewelers and selected the wedding set I’d most admired. Jeeves protested the stone was barely 3 carats. Tongue in cheek I said I thought I could live with it (even if I still couldn’t believe it!). I asked if they could size it while we waited. I suppose I wasn’t supposed to see it, but Jeeves took the jeweler aside and paid him $500.00 to do it now.

That’s how I managed to wind up at 1:30 in the afternoon with a diamond ring the size of Gibraltar on my left hand ring finger with a matching wedding band proclaiming my heart’s true love’s devotion. Oh Vey! Jeeves also insisted on a couple of other “little” things, like matching 1 carat ear rings, necklace, tennis bracelet, and a new watch that cost more than my car.

Jeeves next took me to “Gowns are Us” (can you believe the name??). I asked him what we were here for. His reply was “Mister Stevens wishes you to be the most beautiful woman at the company reception tonight. He also specifically requested that you be suitably attired for Thursday’s dinner and reception.”

Uh oh… Reception?? Did anyone say anything about a reception? I knew I must be in Wonderland, and began looking around for Alice and the White Rabbit — and a way to escape.

“Uh, Jeeves? What is this about a reception tonight?”

Ummmm. “It’s a company tradition Mrs. Stevens. Tonight you and Mr. Steven's announce the year’s profit statement in a private reception for your senior managers.

Before I could escape, Jeeves asked the manager to personally help me and supervise my choices. Amoment later a young woman joined us. First she greeted Jeeves with a huge hug, a BIG smile on her face. Annie then turned towards me, gave me a quizzical look, and smiled. “It’s SUCH a pleasure to see you again Kate, you know how SELDOM I get to help one of America’s richest women in choosing a new gown,” she said this like it was an inside joke, with a twinkle in her eye, a kiss on the cheek, and a gentle hug.

‘Gulp,’ “One of America’s richest women???’”

It struck me as being an overly intimate greeting. I wondered what was going on.

Have you ever had a suddenly sinking feeling? The kind that all of a sudden, without warning causes you to believe there’s no such thing as reality? I just know the look on my face was the same as a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. Annie just smiled again, told me no one would know who I was, and proceeded to tell me about “the collection.”

I learned an interesting lesson. When you are presumed rich, size limitations no longer exist. In the past, I settled for shopping at The Avenue, or Catherine’s. Not today. Gowns R Us, despite the name, was indeed a haute couture fashion house, and one that believed in satisfying it’s clientá¨le.

Annie checked my measurements, consulted her computer, and then asked if I would like tea or water while we waited for the models. Models? It just keeps on getting weirder. Think about it. Hhere I was, sitting on a divan (much to nice to be called a couch), chatting with a 20 something clothing designer sipping Earl Grey tea while 4 plus size models “presented” “the collection.” Surreal.

Annie and I finally settled on a platinum colored dress with matching duster, and a black beaded evening gown with matching cloak. She finished writing the order, picked up her teacup and casually asked, “oh, and by the way, who exactly are you anyway?”

My life had gotten completely out of hand. Have you ever been in an express elevator, the kind in a really tall building? The kind that when it goes down you feel like you’re weightless? That’s what my stomach felt like. “Excuse me?”

“Hon, I’ve known Kate and Hal for most of my life, they are my foster parents” she said with a wistful smile. “They helped me start this business. Five years ago I was Kate’s assistant, and had an idea for a new kind of clothing pattern software. Kate spearheaded the development, I worked on the concept, and Cendar developed it. When it was done I founded Gowns R Us. You are remarkably like Kate in every possibly way, except one. You had no idea who I was,” she giggled, “you were given away as soon as you walked in the door. Now again, please, who are you?”

“Alice, and I’ve fallen through the looking glass. And I’ve just figured out you must be the Mad Hatter,” I sighed. “Since I met Hal last night, my life has been absolutely crazy!”

Annie laughed outright, “Hal can do that to you. He’s been really down since Kate disappeared. I was afraid he would do harm to himself. I even looked for someone to seduce him, hoping to break through his depression. I’ll tell you this, when he called to tell me you’d be by I could hear the smile in his voice. I don’t know how it’s happened, but you are just what he has needed.” Annie came over and gave me a hug, “thank you for helping my dad.”

“You can call me Beth, so, where do we go from here?”

“Just keep on being nice to Hal, I’ll be here to help you if you need anything.”

With that, Annie asked that I return in 2 hours for a final fitting. I told Jeeves I was done, and suggested we find a place to have a cup of tea; but Jeeves was a man on a mission, “Two hours Madame? Good, we have time to find matching shoes.”

Back to Boulevard Mall. “I don’t suppose we could just stop in Payless Shoes could we Jeeves?” Jeeves just shuddered and shook his head. Fortunately, Macy’s was not beneath his notice and I knew from past experience they often carried larger sized shoes. I wound up with a pair of rather elegant strappy black sandals with a modest 1- ½ inch heel, and a pair of silver pumps, and, thanks to good ' ole Jeeves matching handbags.

I still had half an hour before Annie was expecting me. Jeeves kindly stopped at a Catherine’s, and I was able to pick up some casual clothes for Friday, and a black slip for tomorrow’s reception.

Back to Gowns R Us. Annie was as good as her word. I don’t know how, but they had managed to get both dresses completed in that two-hour period. I hadn’t planned on it, but Annie had matching underwear for both dresses selected. The platinum dress fit perfectly, the black one however needed some minor alteration. I could sense that Annie was fit to be tied! She had confidently expected both to be perfect. Jeeves waved his Master Card; Annie smiled, and promised the black gown would be delivered first thing in the morning. Jeeves collected the platinum set, and once more we headed back to the Excalibur.

I noticed something. As Jeeves drove, he spoke of Hal’s company, and of the relationship Hal and Kate had with each other and with the people who worked for him. It really seemed to be more of a family atmosphere the way Jeeves spoke of how he and the other employees related to Hal and Kate. He seemed genuinely distressed over the way Kate had disappeared, and terribly relieved when I just happened to reappear today. He ignored my protests, and my lack of memory of things I should have known. I suppose he attributed it to my recent “ordeal.”

When I arrived, I found a large bouquet of roses had been delivered to my room. After depositing everything in my closet, Jeeves left, and I collapsed onto the bed. Half an hour later, the phone rang, waking me from a well-deserved nap. It was the hotel salon, Kristina’s reminding me I had an appointment at 5:30 for a complete makeover — and did I wish to come to the salon or would I rather they came to my room? Hal again, it had to be him. I looked at the clock, saw I barely had time for a shower and asked that they come to my room. I jumped up, quickly threw my clothes off into the closet, and ran to the shower. Yeah, I know, I’d prefer a bath, but there simply wasn’t time. I ran a razor over my legs, and then closely shaved my face. I had barely pulled my clothes on when I heard the knocking at the door. Opening it, I saw Tracy from the salon; Tracy was the one who did my nails that morning, pushing a cart laden with cosmetics.

“Hi Beth,” she said. “I didn’t know you had scheduled a makeover this morning, we could have done everything this morning!” I told her it was a sudden impulse and that I had a rather elegant reception to attend that night. I won’t go into details, but after looking at the platinum gown Tracy worked her magic, and by 6:45 had completely changed my look. I was astonished at how nice, actually how beautiful I looked. I praised her work, added a large tip (obviously Hal could afford it), and made a reservation with her for Thursday's reception.

I took a few moments to admire the roses, and for the first time noticed the card. It was a simple white note card: “Thanks for bringing beauty back into my life — Hal.” I sighed. I picked up the phone and called home. Linda answered, and I told her a little of my experiences with Alice, the March Hare, and the rest of the inmates on this side of the Looking Glass. Linda just laughed, and said, “That’s what happens when you get what you wish for!” I asked her to give our kids, Timmy and Lisa, a kiss good night for me, as I would be out late. Looking at the clock, I told her I loved her, and hung up the phone.

A minute later at precisely 7:00 I heard a knocking at the door. When I opened it, there was Hal. His eyes bulged out as his gaze swept from head to toe. “Lord, you’re beautiful! Thank you so much for seeing me this evening.” With that, he handed me a bouquet of white roses with baby’s breath.

“Hal, don’t you think you’re overdoing it?” I asked, “I mean, the flowers earlier were nice. And these are gorgeous, but geez, the flowers, the jewelry, and the shopping? I think I could have done just as well with a simple black dress from Catherine’s or the Avenue. Do you have ANY idea what this has cost?”

Again, with the goofy look. “Kate, I don’t care about the money. I just wanted to see you as I remembered. And seeing you here, now, has made it well worth the cost.”

“Hal,” I gently said, “remember who and what I am. When we leave this room, I’ll pretend to be Kate. But you need to remember that I’m not her. I’m a man, perhaps I should have been born a woman, I certainly think so. I love to spend time this way, but I am a man. I’ve a wife and 2 kids I love more than anything in life. You seem to be a good man. Certainly the way Jeeves speaks of you would indicate it. I’ve had a wonderful day, shopping in a way I never possibly could. I’ll spend the rest of the week with you, as Kate, but please, please remember who and what I am when we get to the end of the day.”

Hal just smiled, bent over and kissed my hand “whatever you say, my dear. Can I help you with your wrap?” It’s hard to sigh, tingle at the touch of his lips, and shudder at the predicament I found myself in, I suppose I probably looked like a dog shaking off water.

“Yes, thank you.” He held out the duster, and I slipped my arms in. Picking up my handbag, I took his arm as he led me out the door. ‘Somewhat like a lamb to slaughter’ I thought to myself. “What’s this about a reception tonight” I asked, “I thought we were just going to dinner and discuss the rest of the week.”

“Well, I sort of forgot about the reception this morning, what with passing out and everything” he explained with that same damned twinkle in his eye. “It’s really no big deal, just 30 or so senior managers for dinner and a little announcement.”

“I keep wondering when I’m going to see a large White Rabbit looking at his pocket watch.”

“What do you mean,” he said.

“All through the day I’ve felt like Alice falling through the Looking Glass. You have to admit; from where I sit things have been really strange. I’m not sure if you are who you say, or the White Rabbit about to throw an unbirthday party for me.” Hal just laughed.

When we reached the entrance to Excalibur, Jeeves was there with the car. “Where are we going?” I asked.

“To the Venetian, I’ve reservations at Emeril’s restaurant there.”

“Isn’t that the Delmonico Steakhouse?”

“Yes, it’s fancy enough for a party, and the food is great!”

The ride to the Venetian passed in gentle banter back and forth about Comdex, the Las Vegas Strip, and Emeril’s TV show. It turned out that Hal was something of a chef wannabe who avidly watched Emeril Live! whenever he could spare the time. Me, I’m more a beans and franks kind of cook, I cook well, but I use prepared foods most of the time.

If you’ve never been to the Venetian, I feel sorry for you. Words like elegant, awe-inspiring, magnificent, etc… simply do not do it justice. Jeeves dropped us off at the main entrance, and we entered another world, and another time. We walked in and turned toward the casino floor. On our left was the Guggenheim Museum of Las Vegas. A joint project between the Museum and the Casino, it showcased original works of art. Only in Las Vegas could something like this exist. Gold everywhere. Throughout the resort complex you could see art reproductions from the time of Michelangelo and Di Vinci, and a staff whose courtesy has to be experienced to be believed.

Dinner was superb, traditional American fare with a Cajun overlay is the specialty of the Delmonico. Reservations had been made for 28, though someone didn’t show up. For the entree I chose a petite filet mignon, which considering the situation I thought appropriate. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered Kate was no stranger to eating. Throughout dinner, person after person came up to me and told me just how grateful they were that I had survived the “accident.” The sense of love and family were evident in the way the entire party treated one another.

Throughout dinner, Hal was attentive to my every word. I mentioned the sense of family, and he gave me a rueful smile. “You know it’s your entire fault Kate,” he said, obviously speaking for those around us. “Do you realize that of the 27 people here, 23 of them work for us? That’s 11 couples in the senior management team that work for the company. You seem to have a positive knack as a matchmaker!”

‘Oh ho,’ I thought, ‘Kate must have had more than just technical ability on her mind when recruiting.’

After dinner, the 27 of us trooped across the hall to one of the Venetian function rooms. I chanced to remark to Hal that next time I was in Las Vegas I would be staying here. I just couldn’t believe how opulent the entire hotel and casino complex were.

I excused myself for a minute and made my way to the ladies room. The place absolutely screamed “money.” The fixtures were all marble and gold. I took care of business, and fixed my makeup. Joining Hal at the head table I encountered that look I was learning to be frightened of. That mischievous gleam that indicated something was up. I nearly ran back to the bathroom to see if I’d stumbled through the looking glass one more time.

The hotel staff had provided wine and snack foods. The meeting began to more resemble a party than a senior management team meeting. I knew Hal had more money than sense, but after his presentation of the last year’s profit and loss statement I began to understand just how little Hal cared about the money he had spent today. Someone proposed a toast to the company. Then someone toasted Hal. Then Jeeves got up the nerve and toasted my “return.” I fear I blushed rather more brightly than I would have cared to. Someone started gently tapping on his wine glass with a spoon, and then others joined in. I looked at Hal with a resigned sigh as he reached over and kissed me.

‘Back to weirdness central’ I thought, but the sensation of his kissing me was all together different than I was expecting. It was just the briefest of kisses, hardly more romantic than kissing your mother. But I was on the receiving end, and to my surprise, I rather enjoyed it — or maybe it was just the attention I was getting. A bride at her wedding could hardly have been more the center of attention. We separated, and the toasts went on, there must have been a dozen of them, each one with a little more wine.

By 10:00 I was more than slightly tipsy. I asked Hal how late the party would last. He just smiled and assured me I would be back in my room before I turned into a pumpkin. He turned to the rest of our guests and offered one final toast — to me. I smiled, hoping I would finally be getting to the end of the day’s weirdness. After the toast the tinkling of silverware on glass again gave Hal the opportunity to kiss me. Perhaps it was the wine, but this one went on a little longer, and was nowhere near as chaste as the previous one. I could feel his breath, smell his aftershave, and allowed my mouth to open a little to his advances. It was wonderful. Then of course I remembered who I was, where I was, and went back into panic mode. I nearly bit his tongue off. Hal just smiled that infuriating smile, and gently wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace.

We thanked everyone for coming, and then left the function room. I was tipsy enough I wasn't paying a great deal of attention to where we were going. We turned and took an escalator to the second floor, and from there, an elevator to the 11th floor. It was just Hal and I walking down a luxuriously carpeted hall. About halfway down, he produced a key card and opened the door to one of the Piazza suites. “What’s this,” I asked.

“It’s a hotel room. As a matter of fact it’s your hotel room,” he replied.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, when you said you’d like to stay here I just sort of made it happen. While you were in the ladies room I called Annie at Gowns R Us and asked a favor of her,” Hal said, grinning with his infuriating smile.

“How do you know Annie?” I really wanted to check on what Annie had told me.

“Actually Annie is Kate and my foster daughter; she used to work with Kate. She developed an idea for using computers in manufacturing women’s clothing. Kate and I financed the project, and Annie’s our partner in the venture. Kate was her guinea pig, and has gone to her many times. I arranged for today’s shopping before my nap. Annie would do anything to keep Kate and I happy. I just asked her if she could deliver some things to make your life easier.”

I opened the closet and found a modest collection of clothes that were obviously in my size. In the bathroom was a tasteful selection of cosmetics. And in the dresser drawers were the undergarments to go along with the rest. Before I could turn and start yelling at Hal someone knocked on the door. It was a bellman with my luggage from the Excalibur. I was steaming mad while Hal grinned, tipped the bellman then turned back to me.

I had drunk enough wine to be confused. But Hal was already breaking our agreement from this morning.

“You bastard! What right do you have to run my life like it was your play toy? I was fine at the Excalibur, and yes, I did say I wanted to stay here sometime. But that would be with my wife! Think carefully Hal. If you want me to be Kate for the rest of the week then you had better damn well remember your agreement. Don't forget who I am!” I stepped towards him, I really wanted to slap a little sense into him. Instead, with all the wine I had guzzled at dinner, I tripped. Heels, even modest ones, can reach out and bite you in the ass at just the wrong instant. And Hal, remember Hal? He laughed, caught me, and helped me gently to the bed. The situation was so blasted ridiculous I had no choice, I began to laugh with him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, straightening his face. “I really was only trying to make you happy. I would have done the same for Kate, and I thought you would appreciate it.” Then his eyes misted. Please don't leave, I promise I'll try to do better. It's just so hard to keep things straight,” then the tears began again, softly running down his cheeks and falling onto the carpet. Hal turned away, and it became clear he was a man unable to come to grips with the loss of a beloved companion and partner.

“I only look like her Hal,” I said, reaching out to rub his back.. “I would never really be able to replace her. You have to accept that.” I changed the subject and asked, “Do you and Kate have any kids?” He shook his head no. “We wanted to, but life intervened.”

I sensed the pain behind the answer, but couldn't think of anything that might ease it. Instead I told Hal I had to go to bed. Yawning, I asked, “What time do I need to be to the Convention Center in the morning?” He told me 8:30, but not to worry about it Jeeves would pick us both up. He then told me that appropriate credentials would be delivered first thing in the morning, and I should review them before we left. I kicked off my shoes, and walked him to the door. “Where are you staying,” I asked.

“Here,” he said sheepishly, “I’ve the suite next door. Will you join me for breakfast at say 7:30?”

I sighed and agreed, and suggested room service. “I’ll see you in the morning,” I said.

Before I could react, Hal took me in his arms and kissed me goodnight. I really was too tired to fight, and too tipsy to argue anymore. Besides, he really was a good kisser.

Hal left, and I discovered the zipper on the back of my dress was stuck. I opened the door, and called out to Hal as he was entering his room. “Uh, could you give me a hand?” Hal returned, and I explained the problem, and my reluctance to damage the dress — it was simply too beautiful.

“So are you,” he said.

Damn him, he did that twisted grin thing again. I turned my back, and Hal carefully worked the zipper down, and I was about to turn and thank him when he leaned over and kissed the back of my neck and shoulders.

“Hal!”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” he grinned and turned towards the door. “Is there any other service I can provide My Lady?” He turned back to me and wriggled his eyebrows, “Anything at all?”

Growling, I advanced on him, holding the dress in place to preserve what little dignity I had left. Hal wisely chose discretion and laughing fled before I got to the door.

I hung the dress in the closet, removed my clothes and grabbed a nightgown out of the drawer — I wouldn’t admit it to Hal, but the clothes were a distinct cut above what I normally wore. The nightgown looked and felt like genuine silk, what’s more, it reached my ankles. Usually I find with nightgowns I’m lucky if they reach past my knees. I washed up and moisturized my face. I unpacked my suitcases and noted that whoever gathered them up had been very careful. With the receipts from the Excalibur was a note from Sue, remember Sue? She left her number and asked that I call her whenever I got in.

I dialed her number, and she answered right away. “Do you know who that man was from last night” she asked. “That was Hal Stevens! Hon, I don’t know why, but he was out looking for you all night.”

“Slow down Sue, I know, he found me. You simply would NOT believe the day I’ve had.”

“Oh my gosh, you’ve got to tell me all about it. Do you have any idea how rich he is?”

“Uh, actually, yes, he took me to the annual profit report party tonight.”

Silence greeted me from the other end of the phone. “Beth, that’s not even funny. Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?”

“Not NEARLY as crazy as it was to live it! Sue, honest, I’d love to tell you all about it. I started this morning at the Excalibur, and now I’m at the Venetian, and you could not begin to believe how weird this day has been.”

“You’re at the Venetian? What room?

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? “1135.”

“I’m on my way!” The phone clicked as Sue hung up. Damn! I looked in the closet and found the robe that matched the nightgown. I grabbed a bra and put my breast forms back on. I slipped the nightgown on, then the robe and tied both ties closed. I put on a pair of slippers, poured a couple of glasses of wine and tried to relax, waiting for the inevitable.

In less than twenty minutes, Sue arrived. She was carrying a briefcase. I offered her a glass of wine, and explained I really needed go to bed. I told her I would be working at Comdex tomorrow. She pulled out a copy of Forbes and showed me a picture of Hal and Kate. “That’s why he was shocked when he saw you Beth; he thought you were Kate, his dead wife.”

Now I had enjoyed chili, beer, and conversation the night before with Sue, but I hadn’t noticed till now how hard it was to get a word in edgewise. “Sue, slow down. I already know. Now do you want to hear what happened or not?” So I began…. The manicure in the morning, Hal finding me at breakfast. His passing out at my table, and my taking him to my room. His passing out again. Our conversation. His passing out AGAIN, and finally my agreement to pose as Kate for the rest of the week. The shopping trip, the makeover, and the dinner. His moving me to the Venetian and my plans for the next two days. I told her pretty much everything, except my true gender.

Now I know Sue is pretty bright. But it wasn’t till I started showing her the results of shopping that she began to believe. The ring put it over the top. I had avoided knowing what the ring cost. Sue about fainted when I told her it was a nearly flawless diamond and just over 3 carats. “Hon, do you have any idea what a stone like that is worth?” she asked.

“No,” I replied.

“Well hold on to yourself, but if it was less than $100,000.00 I would be very surprised.”

Sue looked at the ring again, she told me how beautiful it was, and then she asked about the wedding band. I hadn’t paid much attention; I chose it because it was a matched set. The engagement ring was a round solitaire; the wedding band sort of surrounded the engagement ring and had a number of diamonds that complimented it. “Beth, you’re probably wearing two year’s salary on that finger. Was there any other jewelry?” I told her yes, Jeeves had purchased a new watch, matching bracelet and necklace.
“Jeeves? Now I know you’ve got to be telling the truth, no one would make up a name like that. What do you plan to do?”

“Well, I promised I’d be Kate this week, and I try very hard to always keep my promises.” I flopped back on the couch, I just hope he’ll let me go back to being Beth after the week is done.” I again told Sue I needed to get some sleep, and she finally left after making me promise to tell all. She also asked if I could get her invited to the banquet Thursday evening. Smiling, I told her I thought I probably could arrange it, after all my “husband” was the host

Laughing, Sue gave me a hug, and left. I called the front desk and requested a 5:30 wake up call. It had definitely been the weirdest day of my life, and tomorrow looked to be more of the same.

Wednesday

The phone rang. It was my wakeup call. I moaned and rolled out of bed. For a moment, I forgot where I was. Then it hit me. Comdex, Hal, Kate, and working the rest of the week as a woman. I smiled as I gazed at the rings on my finger. It was hard to believe how beautiful they were, and how incredibly expensive. I picked up the Forbes magazine Sue had left the night before and went into the bathroom to relieve myself. I was shocked to discover Hal’s company was in the top 50 technology stocks on the Dow Jones. His estimated income absolutely stunned me.

I showered, shaved (lots of places this morning), and powdered myself dry. I knew I’d never do my makeup as well as Tracy did the night before, so I settled on a subdued business look for the day. After brushing my hair out, I pulled it hair back into a loose ponytail. I opened the closet to select what I would wear for the day. Fortunately, Annie had included a couple of black suits. I pulled on my underwear and nylons, selected a crisp white blouse, pulled on the skirt and slipped my feet into a pair of black kid-glove pumps. I don’t know how Annie did it, but everything fit perfectly. A final spritz of Chanel and I was ready for the day.

At seven, I called home. The kids were just getting ready to leave for school, and Linda was going nuts trying to get them out the door. I could hear my daughter Lisa complaining that if she had a car they wouldn't have to take the bus. I heard the door slam and quiet prevailed. I told Linda all about last night, and asked if there was any way she might get a couple of day off and join me — I told her I really needed her support.

Now please understand: Linda is wonderful. She does however, have one serious flaw. When I’m down and floundering, especially when it's all my fault, and even more when it strikes her funny bone; she can’t even begin to do anything but laugh. Once, while we were engaged, it nearly caused us to break up. I thought she was laughing at me. Instead, she was laughing with me. Perhaps a subtle difference, but I understood when all the answer I received was laughing. For probably 30 seconds I endured her laughter, and as so often in the past, I wound up laughing with her.

“Hon, you got yourself into this mess. I can only say I’m glad you’re profiting by it,” then she was laughing again, “I don’t think I can get away, but I’ll ask. Do you suppose your mom will take the kids?”

“Promise her ANYTHING,” I told her, “ I need you!” After a few more minutes of more mundane conversation on things like how the kids were doing at school, I told her I loved her, and hung up the phone. I called down to room service and ordered the “All-American” breakfast for two.

At 7:30 I answered the door to find Hal in a business suit. “Have you ordered breakfast yet?”

“Yes, it should be here any time.” We sat down at the table and Hal pulled a thick envelope out of his inside coat pocket.

“Here,” he said, “this should be all you need for the next few days. I had my attorney courier it here last night. ”

I opened the envelope and nearly fainted. There was a Massachusetts Drivers License with what looked like my picture on it. Katherine Elayne Stevens. There were also a few credit cards, some business cards, a social security card, U.S. Passport, checkbook, and a PADI dive card. I was very surprised to find concealed weapons permits. Massachusetts is the most restrictive state in the country for issuing weapons permits. However, from the permit itself, it seemed that Kate had “carried” for almost twenty years. Even more difficult to obtain were the Federal Licenses. From his other pocket Hal handed over a Comdex exhibitor badge that simply said Kate Stevens, Vice President Employee Relations, Cendar Corporation.

“Hal, isn’t this a bit more than I need? I mean sure, I enjoy shooting but what the bloody hell do I need this Federal license for? And I don't think I going out of the country or applying for a job. Do you realize that I could steal Kate's identity with this? I mean this is overkill!!” I was beginning to get a bit paranoid. Were Hal, and Kate gun nuts or what?

“Not really Kate, All I’m doing is giving you what’s yours. Well, Kate’s anyway. Damn! This gets confusing. I’m sorry Beth, but I do have a hard time keeping the two of you straight in my head. I guess my lawyers got carried away. I told them to send me all of Kate's IDs.” Hal looked at the mess of documents on the table “You're right, you don't need all of this, but, why don't you keep it for now. That way at least I will know where they're at. I'll say this for them though, they sure are thorough.” Hal noticed the Forbes article, “So, have you been trying to figure out who I am?” Hal smiled as he flipped through the pages. “What do you think of Cendar and Hal Stevens now that you've read the article and met him personally?” Hal just turned on that damned grin of his.

“Hal the man is spoken well of by his employees — but you probably already know that. The author of the Forbes article seems to like you. Hal the husband of Kate seems to be head over heels in love with her even though she's dead. Hal the man who is responsible for the weirdest day in my life is still an enigma. I think we will become friends, probably very good friends. But that can only take place when you realize I can never bring Kate back, nor could I ever replace her.”

Hal smiled ruefully, “I'll try. I really DON'T know if I can do it, but I'll try.”

Hal pulled a small jewelry box out of his coat and handed it to me. Inside was a pearl necklace and earrings. “I knew you’d choose a black skirt and jacket, and I thought pearls would set it off nicely.”

“Hal, I shouldn’t accept this. You’ve already entrusted me with far too many dollars worth of jewelry. I hope you can get your money back when I go back to being me.”

“Entrusted?” Hal laughed. “Kate, errr.. Beth, uh John, whoever! I just said I'd try to keep who's who straight. But, on this, let me be me! I’ve no intention of returning them. I gave them to you, and I do not take back gifts. Anything I’ve spent, I’ve spent of my own free will because I wanted to, I have given them to you to make ME feel better, not you. It also helps to make you look more like Kate. Get used to it. I did it all the time for Kate, and for others I care about, and I’m not about to change on THIS point. Besides,” he grinned, ‘here it comes’ I thought, ‘he’s got that evil grin again,’ “they look beautiful on you.”

I didn't know what to do.

With that, he came over and pulled me to my feet. “Kate, I’m going to kiss you, please let me.” With that he pulled me into his arms and gently kissed me on the lips. ‘Why not,’ I thought, ‘he’ll be kissing me in public for the next few days.’

And for the first time, I let him kiss me and kissed him in return. This was no “sisterly” peck; I think for the moment, in his mind, I truly was Kate. My arms wrapped around his neck, and my mouth opened to him. His hands strayed down to my butt, and I could feel him gently kneading me while his other hand drew me closer.

I don’t think it would have gone any further, but I was profoundly grateful for the knock on the door and the call of “room service.” I answered the door, while Hal wiped lipstick off his face. We sat and ate our breakfast in silence, neither of us wanting to spoil the moment. Afterwards, Hal opened the jewelry box, took out the two-stranded necklace and fastened it around my neck. I removed my diamond studs and placed the pearls in my ears. Hal smiled and said, “They were beautiful when I bought them, but they are even more beautiful when you are wearing them.” Then he reached down and kissed me briefly before pulling me to my feet and urging me out the door. “Wait,” I said, “I want to drop my diamonds off in the hotel safe.” Hal chuckled when he heard me say “my diamonds” and led the way to the hotel lobby.

After dropping off the diamonds, we met Jeeves outside and rode to the Convention Center. “What are my duties Hal,” I asked.

“Actually, amongst other things, you’re our corporate “headhunter,” I expect you’ll meet a lot of people interested in working for Cendar. There’s a standard set of interview questions you can ask candidates. Just take notes, and write down your impressions.”

“What kind of job openings do we have?”

“ Our largest number of openings are for people with UNIX experience, particularly HP-UX. That was one of the factors that led me to ask you to fill in. Kate always handled initial interviews, and had an uncanny knack for finding individuals who would fit into our family.”

“Hal, this is going to be easier than I expected. I’ve done a lot of interviewing and hiring over the last 5 years, and I think you’ll be pleased.”

“Kate, you’ve always pleased me….”

Serious weirdness again, now he’s losing track that I’m not Kate. Perhaps I’m not through wandering through Looking Glass Land.

Having someone drive for you is a MAJOR benefit with something like Comdex. Jeeves dropped us off, and we entered the main hall. Cendar’s booth was impressive. It was a mixture of product hype and small conversational areas. Hal escorted me to an office area on the second floor of the booth, and told me to get comfortable. He came back a few minutes later with an expensive looking leather briefcase. “This was Kate’s, so now it’s yours,” he smiled as he gave it to me. “Inside are a few things to make your job easier. I opened it, and noticed a Sony Vaio notebook computer, and a device that looked like a cross between a tape recorder and a digital recorder. Hal noticed my puzzled look, “that’s a voice stress analyzer, It gives you a high level of confidence when someone is telling the truth. We try to record all interviews, and we ask all candidates for permission before we start. It is not a condition of employment, but my feeling is if the candidate is unwilling, there may be something hidden that we need to know. In that case, if the candidate is in the running for the job, we hire a firm to do a complete background check. For those, the turn-around time is 4 hours for a preliminary, and 2 weeks for the complete report.”

Hal started his evil twisted grin, “would you like to see your preliminary report?”

I was floored. He handed a manila envelope to me, and I opened it to find copies of my latest tax return, my college and graduate school transcripts, a complete listing of my previous employment, a note from the Defense Investigative Agency that I’d had a Federal security clearance at one time, but that it had lapsed, and a myriad of other pieces of information I thought were somewhat secure. “All this in 4 hours?”

“Well, they actually did this one overnight. I was certain it would be clean, but I owe it to my employees to be careful. I can’t let my heart run away and ruin other people who are dear to me.” With that he pulled two more manila envelopes out and handed them to me. “This is what a complete report looks like. I thought it might help you understand Kate and I better.”

The report was labeled “Katherine Elayne Stevens,” the second “Harold Thomas Stevens.” Where mine was the best part of 50 pages, these were books, very thick books. “Hal, you don’t have to do this. I don’t want to pry into your life, and no one voiced any questions last night, did they?”

“Well, yes. Bill Thompson and his wife Debbie asked why you didn’t seem to remember them. They accepted the story of some memory loss, but they were still asking questions. That report goes into far more detail than normal. It also includes all the personal information the investigators could get from the sources. I was one of the sources,” he said with a sad smile. The first hundred and fifty or so pages are the full report from the agency, the remainder was added a couple of years ago to supplement, and serve as a source of information for our eventual biographies. Also, I am digging into your life, and it is only fair that you have the information on mine.”

”Anyway, here are the interview forms, and an instruction manual on the recorder. Why don’t I leave you to review them? I don’t expect any applicants until after 10:00. That gives you a bit more than an hour. When Abbey gets here, I’ll bring her up and introduce you to her. She’s your personal assistant,” he said, “maybe you ought to read that portion of the report first?” And again his twisted grin. I thought to myself ‘does he even know how that grin drives me crazy? How to I tell him how infuriating it is?’

“Hal, do you know how infuriating you can be? And that grin of yours just makes it worse.”

“Kate always said the same thing,” he said grinning, “I’ll see you later, please keep those reports safe,” then he left me with a kiss.

The reports made interesting reading. I started reading about Abbey in Kate's book. It was clear we were complete opposites. Where I was tall and fat, Abbey was petite, almost tiny and 5 foot even. Where I was dark haired, she was startlingly blond, almost platinum. And at 24 years old, I was certain we would have little in common.

She arrived at 9:30, and her report did little to reveal her personality. She was so friendly and bubbly it was hard not to immediately like her. I couldn’t help but think of a skittish, frolicking wood's colt. But she was also extremely efficient, and took Kate’s return in stride. I don't know who was originally scheduled to handle the interviews, but Abbey laid out the day in a way that made it productive without becoming too intense. One interview after another can quickly wear you down. I was glad to see that Abbey tried to squeeze some time in for me to take in some of the show.

Throughout that morning, I conducted 3 interviews. Each of the candidates brought strengths and weaknesses to the table. I found the voice stress analyzer helpful, but not critical.

The second candidate was a recent female graduate from USC. Janie Roberts seemed to have everything Cendar required. In addition to her BS (Bachelor of Science) she actually had a complete HP Systems Administrator certification. The only problem was that she was a geek. She was a computer GEEK, all in capital letters, with underlining, italics, and bold facing. She was also extraordinarily shy. I asked what her goals were, and what she expected of Cendar.

“Ms. Stevens, I’m looking for a company that will take me at face value. I know my computer skills are top notch. If I were willing to fight the rat race in Silicon Valley, I’d make $150 K a year easily. I’m applying to Cendar, hoping to find a soul mate; a male who will value me for who and what I am.” At that she blushed, “uh, do you understand?”

I would be a churlish cur if I had giggled, as was my first response. I giggled instead (so I told myself) at the memory of Kate’s reputation as a matchmaker. “Yes Janie, I do understand.” I cherished the fire in her soul. “I don’t know everything about tomorrow’s banquet, but would you be available?” I asked. Janie accepted.

About 11:30 Hal showed up and invited me to lunch. He suggested Spago’s at Caesar’s Palace. We split a spicy chicken pizza, and returned to Comdex.

The afternoon was split between interviews and visiting the booths of other companies. It was an interesting contrast. Monday I had visited as Beth, today as the Mrs. part of Mr. and Mrs. Hal Stevens; my treatment was spectacularly different. The red carpet was certainly rolled out, and I had the opportunity to meet several CEO’s, and many senior VP’s. I know it’s silly, but I took inordinate pleasure in the trinkets I was given by these various companies. I think my favorite was a heavy gold-filled pen that also contained a stylus for my PDA and a pencil.

At 5:00 I finished up my last interview of the day, Jeeves picked us up and we returned to the Venetian. I was looking forward to a relaxing evening. Hal had other plans. He suggested taking in a show, and hinted he had “connections,” and asked what show I would like to see. I suspected his “connections” were dead presidents in large denominations. I mentioned I hadn’t seen Mystá¨re by Cirque du Soleil and asked if his “connections” would extend that far.

“No problem, my dear,” he said; “and for dinner?”

“Whatever, something in the same hotel maybe?”

“Certainly, can you be ready by 6:00?”

“Sure, a bit more casual than last night?”

“Whatever you’d like, I’ll see you then.”

I kicked off my shoes and flopped down on the bed. I called home, and Linda answered the phone. “Hi honey, I’m home,” I joked.

“Well Miss Alice, how are things on the other side of the looking glass?” Her sense of humor would be the death of me yet. She just giggled into the phone.

“Not bad, I’ve a Platinum Visa that could buy our house without stressing the credit limit, a driver’s license with a picture of a woman that looks like my identical twin, a man who can’t separate me from his dead wife in his own mind, a dress maker that thinks I’m wonderful because I’m helping HER old friend, and a brand new string of pearls that are simply humongous. Did you talk to my mom? How are Timmy and Lisa? Can you get away tomorrow or Friday? Please!! I buy you anything; I’ll take you anywhere. Can you jump through the looking glass and join me?”

“Why Miss Alice, I do believe you want me.”

“Oh geez, hon, you’ve NO idea how much I want you, I need you here, I’ve no idea how I’m going to escape the White Rabbit and his company.”

“Well, I don’t know….” Linda teased.

“Okay, what will it cost?” I asked.

“Well, your mom wants a new Porsche, Timmy wants a new baby brother, and Lisa wants a pony. Me, I’ll settle for your new pearls.” Then she started laughing again.

“Honey, Please!”

“I’ll call and make a reservation for tomorrow. The office was great, and said it would be no problem to take Thursday and Friday off. Do you think I should fly out of Los Angeles or Ontario?”

“Uh, how about Corona?”

“Corona? There’s no commercial service in Corona.”

“Actually, I thought I’d see if Hal would send the corporate jet.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Suddenly Linda wasn’t laughing.

“No,” and then I started to laugh. “Welcome to my world. It’s a short hop, so I doubt they’ll serve a meal, but would you prefer Godiva or Ethel M. chocolates for a snack?”

“This I’ve got to see. What time should I be at the airport?”

“I’ll check, but I’ll try to have the plane there by 10:00 in the morning. Thanks hon. I need to go, Hal is picking me up for dinner and a show in a little bit, and I’ve got to get ready.”

“Really, what show are you seeing?”

“We’re seeing Mystá¨re by Cirque du Soleil. It’s playing at Treasure Island. Listen, I’ve got to run, give the kids a kiss and tell them to be good for grandma.”

“Okay babe, hang in there, I’ll bring a breathe of sanity back to your life tomorrow. See you soon!”

I changed into a soft light blue sweater and a denim skirt. That and a pair of flats were as dressy as I was willing to go tonight. I grabbed a white cardigan. I dropped the pearls off at the hotel safe, and selected a gold locket that I’d always loved. It contained miniature pictures of Linda and the kids. I needed the reassurance of their presence. Hal was punctual; I swear you could set a clock by him. A final spritz of perfume and it was out the door.

Hal took me downstairs for dinner at Lutá¨ce’s, the French restaurant at the Venetian. “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve wanted to try Lutá¨ce’s and the concierge was able to make reservations for 6:15.”

“I don’t mind, but no escargot if you please. Wow!” I said, looking out over the Grand Canal, “the view is spectacular. Are those real gondolas?”

“Yes, would you like to ride one after dinner?”

“Hmmm, that might be nice.”

The maá®tre d' seated us at a balcony table overlooking the gondolas circling the Grand Canal. I selected the Black Angus sirloin with potato "au four", and a crispy salad with maitake mushrooms. Hal chose the casoulette — a dish containing duck, lamb, ham, and several varieties of beans. Hal told me it was the forerunner of American casseroles, and a favorite of his. We enjoyed our dinner with a nice bottle of Chianti. For dessert, I selected canoli, a favorite I could seldom find.

After dinner, we stepped out to the Grand Canal, and Hal purchased tickets for us. Hal stepped in then the gondolier helped me down into the gondola. It was at that point I realized, the only way to ride was snuggled close to Hal. He wrapped his arm around me, and I snuggled close as we began our “graceful and romantic glide down the Grand Canal in an authentic Venetian gondola.” Our gondolier sang romantic Italian ballads as he propelled the gondola. It was romantic, and I couldn’t help but feel safe and secure in Hal’s arms. We spoke of little things, chatted about nothing really; we simply enjoyed the night, the ride, and our closeness.

What a contrast that was to Mystá¨re by Cirque du Soleil. One was quiet, the other raucous. The gondola was romantic, the circus hysterically funny.

Afterwards, we stopped and shared a sundae at Haagen-Dazs in the Grand Canal Shoppes at the Venetian. I thoroughly enjoyed my evening with Hal. It was the first time I’d been on a date as a woman; it was hard to believe just how much fun I’d had. Hal surprised me with his wit, his humor, and his ability to make me feel special — without spending a ton of money. The day before he tried to please me by spending money; this time he made our time special by focusing on me. I loved it — but it was disconcerting.

It was a little after midnight when I returned to my room. Hal kissed me at the door, long and languorous, I found myself responding to his kisses in way I’d never expected. I felt both regret and relief when the kiss ended, and I entered the sanctuary of my room.

Thursday

At breakfast I asked Hal if he could send the corporate jet to pick up Linda, my wife. For just a moment he looked confused, then grudgingly (it seemed) granted permission. That deserved a kiss, which brought the confused look back to his face; this time with a smile.

“Thanks Hal, you have no idea how confusing this whole thing has been for me. Could she also attend the dinner tonight?”

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” he shrugged; “have her go see Annie for something special to wear.”

I called Jeeves and asked him to make the arrangements for me. I told him that the lady being picked up was very special too me, and asked that he take special care of her. I also asked that he be sure the jet was stocked with Godiva and Ethel M chocolates, and a dozen long stem red roses. What he thought of all this I’m sure I don’t know. He was however, his usual efficient self.

Next, I called Annie, explained that Linda would be coming in to see her and asked that she treat her like she would me. I told her it was important to me that Linda be able to attend the banquet tonight, and that Annie should help her pick out something that would make her look and feel special. The only condition I asked was that her dress not be black, I’ve never liked black on Linda, and wanted Annie to accommodate MY tastes as well as Linda’s.

Annie assured me that all would be fine. Next, I called the spa at the Venetian, and ordered the works for Linda. On the way out, I stopped at the front desk and requested a key to my room be made ready for Linda when she arrived.

Later I learned that Hal had made his own arrangements. His instructions to Jeeves were to treat Linda like a royal princess. Her every whim was to be catered to.

Linda had no idea what was coming her way, and I laughed all the way to Comdex wondering how she would react to falling down the rabbit hole to Looking Glass Land.

Abbey had my appointments scheduled, and it looked like today would be extremely busy. There were 3 interviews in the morning and 4 in the afternoon.

Jack Mooney was the first. I liked him the moment I met him. There was a quiet competency about him that suggested his resume was understated if anything. He was married, with 3 children. Currently lived in the Seattle area, but hoped to move back to New England to be near his wife’s family. His professional certifications were all top notch, and I asked if he was free that evening. “Could you and your wife possibly attend our company banquet?” I asked. He seemed genuinely flattered, and assured me they would be there. I suggested if he needed a tuxedo, to see the concierge at the Venetian, give that notable my name, and ask that he adequately clothe him. Then, inspiration struck. “Jack, could your wife visit a boutique I could recommend?”

He looked a bit uncertain, and then said he would ask her.

“I guarantee if you take her to “Gowns R Us” and ask for Annie, she will be treated like a princess. And Jack, this one is on Cendar.” And I just smiled.

The next two interviews went predictably, but neither of the candidates really had the personalities I was actually looking for. They just didn’t seem like they would be able to fit into the corporate family I was trying to understand.

Abbey and I had a quiet lunch, at one of the concession stands. She was fun to watch, constantly scoping out the men, and commenting on their bodies. By the time we finished, I had figured out Abbey was really all talk when it came to men, but Lordy how she could talk! Jeeves called, and informed me Linda had arrived, they’d been to Gowns R Us and she was in the hands of the Venetian spa staff. I just grinned and thanked him for his help.

The afternoon interviews were a repeat of the last two of the morning. There was nothing spectacular or really interesting about any of them, until the final interview of the day. His name was Hiram Jones. Tall and gawky, he seemed to be much younger than his 28 years. His experience was impressive, even though he’d only been in the work force for a few years. He impressed me with his competency. The only reservation I had about him was how quirky he seemed. We got to the end of the interview, and as usual, I asked if he had any questions about Cendar. His question took me completely by surprise.

“Is it true that you interview candidates with an eye for matching them up with employees of the opposite sex?”

“Uh…” ‘not a very coherent response,' I thought. “Actually, no. It does however work out that we look for people who will fit into Cendar’s corporate climate. Naturally, with a similarity of thought and outlook we have found many of our employees wind up finding their special someone in the company. Why do you ask?”

“Well, basically, I’m a geek. I’ve never really developed a lot of interpersonal skills, especially with women. I’d give anything to be in an environment where I might have a better opportunity to meet someone who understands that same things I do.”

‘Odd,’ I thought. He and Janie were opposite sides of the same coin. “Would you like to attend tonight’s company banquet? There’s someone there I’d like you to meet.”

Hiram agreed to come. I asked if he had a tuxedo, and his shoulders drooped as he admitted he didn’t. “Not to worry,” I said, “rent one and give me the bill tonight. This is on Cendar.”

Hiram left, and I called Janie on the cell phone number she had given me. “Janie, its Kate Stevens. I believe we would like to extend an offer of employment to you. You will attend tonight’s company banquet won't you?”

I listened carefully. Her first response was an almost inaudible gasp. Then, wistfully, she admitted she had nothing suitable to wear other than business clothes. I couldn’t help it, I burst out giggling. “Honey, if you don’t mind a prospective employer treating you, could you tell me where you are at, and what you’re doing for the next three hours?”

Janie admitted to being at Comdex, and though there were exhibits she wanted to see, there was nothing pressing on her calendar. I asked her to come to the Cendar booth.

Meanwhile, I enlisted Abbey’s help. “Hon, I want you to take a prospective new employee to get a gown for tonight’s banquet — and, I gave her a sheepish grin, one for yourself as well. Could you make arrangements for a complete makeover for Janie and yourself with the Venetian? Then, take her to see Annie at “Gowns R Us. Make sure she has appropriate shoes and accessories. I want her to feel like an appreciated Cinderella, ‘cause at the banquet, I hope to introduce her to an under appreciated Cinderfella.” I couldn’t help it, I started laughing uncontrollably. When she arrived, I directed Abbey to take her to see Annie, and told them both I expected them to look their best that night.

As soon as they left, I called Annie. I’m sure Annie thought I must be out of my mind. Not only had I sent Linda, but now Janie, and Abbey. I patiently explained that it was important to me. And taking care of this would ultimately be beneficial for Hal.

Annie didn’t push the point. Instead, she giggled and said, “This will certainly be a field test for my new software won’t it?”

I agreed, and reminded her of her promise to me. “I’m juggling eggs Annie. I need all the help I can get! Err…. You want to attend too?”

“I’ll be there with bells on my fingers and rings on my toes! Though I was already invited, I’ll be there for you. You go, girl! I’ll do all I can to help,” was her reply.

I left Comdex a bit early. I wanted plenty of time to get ready for tonight. Earlier Abbey had called Tracy (remember Tracy from Excalibur?) and arranged a complete makeover for me in my room. There was an hour before she was to arrive, and I needed a bath. I walked into my suite, and found Linda’s gown and luggage. I quickly stripped, and ran a warm bath, mentally thanking Annie for including bath oils when she stocked my room.

I carefully cleansed my face, shaved extra close, and allowed myself 15 whole minutes to just sit and soak. All too soon it was time to get out and start getting ready. This time, I dried carefully, and powdered myself to a silky finish. Tonight I would be wearing black, so I chose black lingerie. I’d barely finished pulling on my panties, bra and slip when there was a knocking at the door.

Tracy was early. She took a moment to look at the gown I’d be wearing, then proceeded to work miracles. She did my hair in an up do to accentuate the length of my neck (and in so doing, making my neck and face look thinner). The makeup was more dramatic than I’d been wearing during the day, but again made me look better than I actually do look. Finally, she removed the color on my fingernails and toenails, and replaced it with a deep dark plum that complemented both my gown, and my makeup. After everything was dry, I pulled on sheer black nylons, and Tracy helped by zipping me into my gown. Altogether, I looked fantastic. Fat, yes, but fantastic. I tipped Tracy lavishly, and promised to call her the next time I was in Las Vegas.

7:00 arrived, and with it, Linda. Her hair and makeup were perfect. She was as beautiful as the day I’d married her. She walked into the room, looked straight at me, and began to apologize for being in the wrong room. This was too rich, and I lost it laughing. Her eyes went wide as she realized it was I, and then slowly took in my appearance from head to toe.

“I never would have believed it, but you clean up right nice Miss Alice. Where are the Mad Hatter and the March Hare?” Then she started laughing too. I told her Annie was apparently the Mad Hatter, and Hal, aka the March Hare,would be picking us up at 7:20. I hurried her along, and helped her into her gown. Her gown was a rich royal blue with a plunging neckline and nearly bare back. She looked gorgeous.

“I can’t believe the way everyone has taken care of me,” she said. The spa here is fantastic. I’ve spent the last 5 hours being pampered like you cannot believe. And Annie, my gosh, look at this dress. It fits like a glove. Hon, whatever you’ve done, wherever you’ve buried the bodies, I don’t care, I like it!” Note to my readers: did I mention her twisted sense of humor?

Hal showed up promptly (not that I ever doubted). I was just finishing zipping Linda up when he knocked on the door. I waited a moment while Linda stepped into her heels, took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Good evening Kate,” he said, kissing me lightly on the cheek. “And this must be Linda. You my dear are lovely. Thank you for lending Kate to me this week.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a slim jewelry case. ‘Uh oh,’ I thought, ‘here we go again.’ I asked Annie the color of your gown, and bought a little something to go along with it, I hope you don’t mind?” Hal at his charming best is hard to resist, he handed it to Linda, and she gasped as she opened it.

“They’re beautiful,” she said, “I really can’t accept them though, they’re much too expensive.”

“Honey, don’t waste your breath, just thank the nice man and show me what he gave you. I’ve tried arguing with him about jewelry, and you’re doomed to lose.”

Linda turned the case around and inside I could see Hal was doing it again. There were a pair of huge sapphire earrings the exact color of her gown, a diamond and sapphire cocktail ring, a slender sapphire (and diamond I thought) bracelet, and a magnificent sapphire pendant on a platinum necklace.

The look on Linda’s face was priceless. “The March Hare has exquisite tastes, doesn’t he Hon?” I asked. I took the case from her and placed the necklace around her neck. She slipped the other pieces on and I turned to Hal.

“That was very thoughtful, I appreciate it.”

“Oh just wait till you see what I’ve got for you!” And, of course, he pulled out another slender case.

I opened the case, and found a beautiful strand of Black pearls, along with a double strand bracelet and earrings. He reached into his coat pocket, and handed me a ring box. I’m sorry it’s separate, but it took a bit of time to get it sized right. Inside was a Black and White pearl ring in platinum.

I just sighed, I was getting used to this, “Hal, they’re beautiful, but you’ve got to stop doing this!” He just smiled, and fastened the necklace around my neck. I took out my white pearls, and inserted the earrings; the bracelet balanced the look of my watch.

Hal took my hand and slipped the ring onto the third finger of my right hand. Naturally, it fit perfectly. He leaned over and kissed the back of my hand. “Now ladies, will you join me for the evening?” Hal held out an elbow to me and to Linda — and with that we were off!

Jeeves was waiting at the curb, and smiled to Linda and I while holding the door open. “You look superb tonight Madame,” he said to me. He closed us in, and then drove us to the Las Vegas Convention Center. The company banquet was, in theory, a fundraiser for the Kate and Hal Stevens Children’s Charity. I found out this charity was one Kate had insisted on when the company first broke $1,000,000 in profits. It funded after school care, a shelter facility, and numerous other child and family centered community initiatives. The banquet was always sold out, at $500 per plate, with 1200 seats, it easily cleared $500,000 a year after expenses. The banquet room was decorated in a severe art deco theme, and the waitresses were all dressed in 1930’s period dresses.

Hal escorted Linda to the head table then returned to my side at the entrance. We greeted each guest as they arrived. Annie arrived early, and Hal asked her to keep Linda Company. Janie arrived with Abbey, and Hal directed them to one of the company tables.

Soon after, Sue arrived. Laughing to myself I introduced her to Hal, “Hal, this is my friend Sue Collins. She didn't believe me when I told her how we met.”

“Really? Well Sue, the proof is, as they say, in the pudding. Now that you're here do you believe her?” Hal asked, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

Sue was speechless. Something I would not have believed.

Hal bent over her hand in a very continental gesture, and I thought for a moment he was going to kiss her hand, but she jerked her hand away, blushing furiously. Sue stammered a greeting in reply, and I took her by the elbow to lead her to her seat.

“There!” I laughed, “I told you so!, now please, PLEASE I need to keep 'Beth' a secret. Only a handful of Cendar Management know I'm not Kate. Can I trust you?”

Seeing Sue speechless or tripping over her tongue was something I could not have imagined. She finally managed to reply, “Hon, I'll keep your secret, but you've got to tell me everything when this is all over!” I smiled at her, and lead her to a table near the front of the hall.

This was getting fun!

Jack Mooney and his wife Rachel arrived, she looked slightly stunned at the opulence around her, and I tried to put her at ease. “Your dress is wonderful,” I told her. “I hope Annie treated you well?”

Rachel smiled, “Yes, thank you very much; I’ve never been treated quite like this.”

“Welcome to Cendar Rachel, we hope Jack will accept an offer we will be tendering tomorrow.” Jack’s eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped open for a second.

“Thank you Ms. Stevens, you won’t regret it.”

“It’s Kate Jack, allow me to present my husband, Hal Stevens.”

“Hi Jack, welcome to the company, I believe you’ll fit in well based on Kate’s notes. Enjoy your evening, please.” Hal reached out and shook Jack’s hand.

The Mooney’s walked to the table where Abbey and Janie sat. “Well, I’d say that’s one happy couple, what do you think Babe?” Hal said, pecking me on the cheek. “Good job on that one.”

The guests continued to arrive; it was nearly time to begin when Hiram showed up. His tuxedo fit immaculately, and it appeared he’d stopped for a haircut on his way to the banquet. I introduced him to Hal, then said, “Come with me, I’ve a seat reserved especially for you.” With that, I tucked my hand into his elbow and let him “lead” me to the table where the Mooney’s and Janie were seated. “Hiram Jones, allow me to introduce you to Jack and Rachel Mooney, Jack’s going to start with Cendar soon, I hope. And you remember Abbey?” He nodded. “And this is Janie Roberts. I believe you two have a great deal in common. Actually, your questions at the end of the interviews were remarkably similar.” With a wicked grin, I left the two of them sputtering, and returned to Hal’s side.
“What was that all about?” Hal asked.

I just hummed a tune from Fiddler on the Roof; Matchmaker Matchmaker make me a match….”

It was worth it. Hal’s eyes bulged out of his head like a stepped on toad, his mouth opened and closed like a beached fish, and I gracefully turned to greet our next guest. After a few seconds he responded, “Kate, you are indeed a wicked, wicked girl!” he said with that all to familiar twinkle in his eye.

“Relax, they will both be incredible assets to Cendar, and they both are looking for someone, and I believe they will find that someone tonight.”

The banquet went predictably. Everyone enjoyed their dinner and dessert. The speeches were kept to a minimum. The program describing the year’s accomplishments was interesting, and a wonderful time was had by all.

Hal escorted Linda and I to my room. He kissed her hand and wished her a pleasant evening, and then he took me in his arms and kissed me. Linda clapped her hands over her mouth, smiling with her eyes, as his kiss went on. Finally, he let go and I caught my breath.

“That was for what you did to that poor boy Hiram and Janie.” With a twinkle in his eye, he bowed to Linda and I, “goodnight sweet princesses, may flights of angles sing thee to they rest!” He said, miss-quoting Shakespeare. . Then laughing, he walked down the corridor.

Linda and I went into our room. As soon as the door was closed, she was all over me. “I want you so bad I can’t stand it,” she said as she began rubbing up against me. “That was so terribly romantic tonight, Cinderella and Prince Charming” she pulled me down on top of her on the bed, and began to undress me. “I am so horny! I can’t believe how turned on I am by this whole experience.” She had managed to unzip my dress, and caressed my body through my underwear. “Hurry up and unzip me!” I did my best. She was frantic, and all too soon, we were both naked, except for the jewelry. I began to take off my necklace, but Linda just pushed me back on the bed and climbed on top of me, smothering me in kisses. “Leave it on please. I love the contrast with your white skin.”

This may have been one of Linda’s fantasies; it certainly was one of mine. We climbed under the covers and enjoyed each other. I’ll not go into any more details, suffice it to say that I’m either a gentleman or a lady, and neither kisses and tells….

Friday

Friday was casual day, yeah right. I was so tired after the previous night that I felt like a zombie. I stumbled out of bed, showered, did my makeup and dressed in a gray skirt and jacket over a silk camisole. I liked the way the lace of the cami peeked out from under the jacket. By 8:00 I was dressed. Linda was still sound asleep, so I slipped next door to Hal's suite and had breakfast with him.

Hal was clearly nervous about something. I asked what was troubling him and he replied "I don't want to loose you again, that's all. I'm dreading tomorrow and finding myself alone again, without you."

I reached over and took his hands. "Hal, I’m not Kate, you knew this was only an illusion. I'm not really Kate, I just look and sound like her. I've come to like you a great deal. More than that, I'm regretting not being a part of Cendar. I truly love the way your employees interact with each other. I hope I've made some contributions this week, and really wish I could be a part of your company, part of your world. Unfortunately, I've a life of my own. I've a wife of my own, and I've children that I treasure."

Hal's eyes misted up, "I'm not through with you yet Kate," he said. “I don’t know if I can go on without you.” With that, Hal silently, evidently deep in thought, finished the rest of his breakfast.

After breakfast Hal asked "can you see if Linda would join us for lunch?"

"Sure, do you have anything special in mind? Or should I just tell her it will be a surprise?"

"Oh, tell her it will be a surprise," he said. This time his mouth quirked into a half grin, and he had that gleam in his eye that I had come to associate with trouble.

"What's going on inside your head Hal?"

"Nothing, nothing at all to trouble your pretty little head about,” and he just grinned at me with his Cheshire Cat grin, all teeth, hiding the rest of his expression.

With that, I left, telling Hal I'd be ready to head to Comdex as soon as I was able to wake up Linda.

Linda, true to form, did not want to wake up. "I'm on vacation, you said so yourself!" she groaned.

"Hon, I've got to leave for Comdex. Hal wants you to join us for lunch. Can you be ready by 11:30?"

Linda just pulled a pillow over her head and mumbled agreement before turning over to go back to sleep.

Abbey had the final three interviews lined up for me when I arrived. Two were in the morning, and one in the late afternoon — The second one flew into Las Vegas just for the opportunity to interview with Cendar.

The first morning interview went well. I would have been comfortable hiring him, but he did not approach the level of Hiram, Janie, or Jack Mooney.

The second morning interview was different in every way. First, rather than a programmer or finance type, the position was for a System Administrator. I have very specific ideas about this type of job and was looking forward to meeting the candidate. The other difference was the interviewee had flown into Las Vegas just for the chance of interviewing for this position. His resume was impressive; the uptime on the systems he administered was unbelievable.

Simon arrived right at 10:30. He wore an outrageous tee-shirt that parodied the O’Rielly Computer Book series. It looked like the cover of a typical O’Rielly book except the picture was of a bomb and the title was “Practical Unix Terrorism.” I looked at him, and asked “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Simon looked at me and said, “I figured we could skip all the bullshit and reach a meeting of minds first thing. You want a systems admin, and I want the job. You know my credentials, so I guess the best thing is for you to get to know me as I am.”

I’ve interviewed 50 or 60 people in the last 5 years, but no one had ever taken such a provocative approach before.

“Is this some sort of anti-social behavior, are you trying to make a point, or do you really consider yourself a BOFH?” I asked looking him straight in the eye. [editor’s note: for more information do a Google search on bofh]

He blinked. “Oh crap,” he said, “are you actually technically competent or just a management lackey?”

“Simon, I AM the BOFH with better people skills. And that is what the person I’m looking for will be. Someone both technically competent AND able to tell a user no — and then make it stick. But, hear me clearly, you will treat the lusers — I mean users with respect. Now I’ll ask the question one more time. Is this some sort of anti-social behavior, are you trying to make a point, or do you really consider yourself a BOFH?”

He grinned, “you know, I’ve never really had a competent boss before, might make a decent change of pace. Yeah, I was making a point. I’ve little respect for an operation that expects you to cater to every user’s desire. I believe my role is to make the system available at all times, develop backup and data recovery plans that minimize any loss of data, and to provide an appropriate level of support — meaning I’m not a bloody help desk — to users.

We talked for the remainder of the hour, and I had the impression that despite the packaging, Simon would make a great addition to Cendar.

Linda made it to the booth about 11:15, and I had fun showing her around Cendar’s display. She had never been to Comdex before, and had trouble believing the size of the show.

Hal was at his most charming when he showed up. He complimented Linda on her appearance, visibly preened when she complimented him on Cendar’s booth.

“Shall we go to lunch now ladies?” Hal asked.

With that he lead the way to the second floor of the Las Vegas Convention Center. He lead us to a small meeting room. Inside, a string quartet was playing softly. The room had been decorated in an art deco style. Hanging on one wall were several Dennis Abbe posters. The opposite wall seemed to be a solid wall of differing types of glass brick, lit from behind. The patterns of shadow and light that changing constantly. A third wall contained elegantly framed pictures of famous art deco buildings. More importantly, the room contained a single dining table.

A rather impressive waiter seated Linda while Hal held my chair for me. A sommelier approached and waited attentively on Hal. “Champagne ladies?” Hal asked. Linda and I smiled and agreed that would be nice. “Do you have a Dom Perignon ’80 or perhaps a ’73?”

“I believe we have the ’73, a very good choice sir.” He left, and the waiter presented us with menus. I simply could not believe the extent of the menu. There were at least 50 different entrees. The only place I had seen a menu like that was in the old Rosemont Grill in Sacramento back in the 80’s. I turned to Linda and asked if she remembered the Rosemont. She smiled and nodded.

I chose a small green salad with extra tomatoes, fresh teriyaki marinaded grilled tuna and wrapped with bacon, on a bed of rice pilaf. Linda chose a petite filet, and Hal surprised me and ordered what he claimed was an authentic Hungarian goulash, made with a heavy dose of paprika. I wanted to ask Hal how such a menu could be served in a meeting room at Comdex. I didn’t solely because I was sure I knew the answer. When you’re willing to spend anything, anything is what you will get…

The sommelier returned and opened the Champagne. After Hal approved the selection, our waiter poured for the three of us.

“A toast,” Hal said, “to Kate, and to you Beth, for you have accomplished a great deal this week for Cendar, and for me.” I sat my glass down blushing, while Linda and Hal drank their toast. “And now to a little bit of business. I promised you consulting fees and a bonus. The first envelope contains your consulting fees. It got too difficult for me to separate when you were and were not working, so I instructed our accountants to figure on all the hours since 8:00 am on Monday to 8:00 am on Sunday. That’s 144 hours, so the check is for $43,200.00. Additionally, I promised a bonus. We typically pay 6 months salary to a headhunter firm for new technical employees — that is, after they’ve been with the company for 6 months. That works out to about $55,000 for each employee. The second envelope contains paid up stockoptions for Cendar preferred stock. You’ve hired 4 new employees. I’m giving you those stock options for $220,000.00 worth of Cendar at today’s market closing price, paid up, free and clear, effective 6 months from today — assuming your new hires stay with the company.” With that he sat back in his chair and sipped champagne.

Linda let out a whoop! “Honey that will pay off the house and then some!” I just groaned. Having been through some of Hal’s flights of fancy before, I waited for the other shoe to drop. Let’s see jewelry and clothes close to $200,000 this week, $43,200 in outright fees, $210,000 in stock options — that was roughly the equivalent of 5 years salary at the University. Linda looked at my face and started to laugh, “There you go Miss Alice! See what happens when you fall through the looking glass?”

“Hal,” I asked, “when is the other shoe going to drop?”

“Why honey, whatever do you mean?” Hal just sat there and gave me his twisted grin.

“You didn’t set all of this up,” I waved my hand around the room, “just to serve lunch and do, what did you say “a little bit of business.” I know you better than that by now you son of a bitch. What’s going on?” I glared at him. Linda laughed. Hal just grinned.

“All of that my dear will be made clear after lunch.”

“If you think I’m going to eat lunch with you now or ever while you’ve something hanging over my head, you’ve another think coming.” With that I threw my napkin on the table and began to get out of my seat.

“Please Beth, don’t go. I really would like to wait till later, but hear me out?”

“Now Hal, or I walk out that door.” I poured another glass of Champagne and downed it in 2 or 3 large gulps, I know, not very ladylike, but I was getting pissed.

Hal sighed, “Okay. I wanted to wait till after lunch because my attorneys flew out from Massachusetts yesterday and are drawing up some documents for you to read through. I would like you to come to work for Cendar — you already said you wished you could, so I know you’d like it. I’d like you to take over Kate’s old job, at her salary, for at least three months. At the end of three months, I would have the option of extending it for three more months. If, six months from now you decide to make it long term, I will guarantee a minimum of two and a half additional years. Further, I will open an office on the West Coast, and purchase a suitable home so that you can spend every other month near Linda and your children. You have no idea how valuable you have proven yourself to be this week. You will earn every penny as vice president for employee relations — and you’ve demonstrated your competency already to fill that position. More than that, you’ve single-handedly stopped my own self-destruction. Surely Annie, Jeeves and other’s who know me have told you how much I’ve changed this week. I owe it to them, and not just to my own selfish desires, to do everything in my power to keep you at Cendar, and in my life.”

Linda asked, “How much did Kate make anyway?” I poured another glass of Champagne

“Kate’s official salary which really didn’t cover everything was about $750,000 per year. She also received a bonus and stock options that pushed the total official package to a bit over a million dollars most years, but that doesn’t count equity, stock options, or company paid expenses. Rule of thumb would be least twice her base salary plus bonuses. So, when you add it all up, with the stock market being where it's at, it's a little over $2 million a year.”

With that, I pulled a page out of Hal's book, I fainted dead away.

They say that everyone has a twin somewhere. What happens when your twin is dead, as well as being a lady. The following story is fiction, more or less. Enjoy.

This series began a couple of years ago, and like many I set it down unfinished, uncompleted. The original Title was Comdex, Clothing, and Confusion. The first few chapters are rewrites.

Comdex, Clothing, and Confusion Old 1b New 2
Copyright 2003 Beth Williams

When I woke up, Linda was leaning over me. “Hon, are you all right?” she asked. I smiled, drained the proffered champagne glass, and said, “You won’t believe what a dream I’ve just had.” Then I looked around, noted the art deco, the table, Linda, and Hal. “Oh my gosh! It wasn't a dream?” I cried burying my face in my hands.

Linda just rubbed my shoulders as I tried not to hyperventilate. “Breathe slowly, calm down, every thing's going to be okay,” Linda kept repeating herself, trying to calm me down.

Hal looked absolutely stricken. His head turned from me to Linda and back again as he tried to figure out what he’d done wrong. The problem was, he didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand. For him, I was Kate, and he was just asking me to come home and pick up life where she had left it. He would pay whatever it cost; he would do whatever it took to get Kate back. I really don’t think he could accept that John Williams, and Kate were two separate individuals that looked, sounded, and yes even acted in much the same way. I poured another glass of champagne.

“Can I try to make the deal a little better all the way around?” Hal asked. “Linda would you be willing to work for Cendar, to set up and manage the West Coast office?” He looked sheepish, and told me her background check had been done, like mine, overnight, and that he was confident Linda could do the job. “I’ve needed to open an office in Southern California for 2 or 3 years, but never had the time, or the personnel to do it. But with the increased business Cendar is going to be doing with the maquiladoras it’s becoming a necessity.” Then he mentioned her job title and salary. “Your title would be Vice-President West Coast Operations. You’d have an HR person, an auditor, a CPA, and a management consultant to help you. Basically you would coordinate the various Cendar business units and expand our use of maquiladoras. I’m sure I would have no problem getting Kate to agree to a starting salary of $175,000, and your contract will guarantee 2 years salary regardless of anything else..”

Talk about nepotism. Hal was seducing my wife with money so that he could hire me to be his wife, at least as far as the company was concerned. I looked at her, as her eyes glazed over, “welcome to my world,” was all I could think to say.

I told Hal that Linda and I needed to talk things through. Hal agreed and promised to have the documents ready by the end of the day.

Our meals arrived, and I ate in silence while Hal and Linda talked over the requirements for the West Coast operation. It seemed that he had plans for moving the entire garment industry software development staff to California. Annie’s software had the potential to become a major profit center. Hal wanted to push it into producing individually tailored clothing through a chain of boutiques. “Gowns R Us” was the first. As he described it, I found myself grudgingly admitting it would probably work. Clients would enter the boutique and shop for off the rack, or tailored garments. Those who chose tailored garments would be holographically measured and photographed. The resulting file sent to the maquiladora where the garment would be constructed and returned to the boutique within 48 hours. Costs could be kept low by keeping minimal inventories. Women outside the “normal” size range would have access to the same clothes clothing choices as their more mundane sisters, without paying a horrific premium for their individuality. Macy’s, Nordie’s and the like could eat their hearts out.

It looked like a surefire winner. Hal knew he had Linda’s interest, and pointed to me. “All Kate’s clothes this week were produced this way, and she’s dressed in a way and in a quality no current chain store could possibly match. In fact Linda, your dress last night was created from your measurements and selection in just over an hour. Annie is rightly proud of what she envisioned, and she’s going to be quite rich in her own right one day soon now.”

While they talked, I continued to drink champagne. Before the lunch was over, I’d had 6 or 7 glasses, and the sommelier looked positively pleased as he opened the third bottle of bubbly (later, MUCH later, I learned our specific vintage cost more per bottle than most people earned in a day. The bottom line is that I was getting completely buzzed on VERY pricey bubbly.

Hal fortunately noticed my impaired state. Abbey appeared from nowhere, and helped Linda escort me to our room. It had been a long and stressful morning. I did the most logical thing possible. I took a nap.

I woke up with a very married feeling. Linda had joined me sometime in the afternoon, and was snuggled close against me. I leaned over and kissed her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled at me. “What are we going to do Honey?” I asked her.

Linda stretched, rolled over and lay with her head on my chest. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go home and crawl in a hole and hide,” I whimpered. Linda laughed.

“You know, when you first told me about your desire to be a woman I wasn’t the least bit upset. I kind of thought it was a kick. You make a pretty woman you know.”

“Hon, but I’d be away from you and the kids.”

“A few years ago that didn’t seem to bother you too much. Remember how TRW was preparing to send you to Saudi Arabia for 2 years?”

“Babe, that’s not fair. We really needed the money they were willing to pay. We are much better off today then we were then.”

“John, Hal told me a lot about this week. He also told me how far he was willing to go to accommodate the kids and me. And he’s not going to let you go without a fight. The money would be great. I’ve never been offered the kind of responsibility and salary that the California operation would entail.”

“Are you saying you want me to do it? For how long, 3 months? 6 months? Dressing full time, living as a woman and a wife was something I’d never dreamed would happen. Sure, I enjoy being Beth occasionally. I don’t know that I want to be Kate forever.”

“Well, think on this. Hal will, if you agree to at least 6 months, guarantee the kids college expenses. He’s already instructed his lawyers to draw up the appropriate trust documents. Hon, I want to do this. I’m tired of scrimping and saving to try and get ahead. All of a sudden, through a freak coincidence, we have the chance to put away money for retirement, pay for the kids schooling, and get out of debt. Not to mention living a lifestyle we could only dream of.”

“Linda, think. Hal wants me to be his wife. WIFE! I’ve never been unfaithful to you; I’ve never been intimate with anyone but you. Hal is going to want more than someone to eat dinner with. I’ve put off his advances, but I’ll tell you he’s kissed me in a way that screams out his desire. Have you thought of that?”

“Actually, yes. But something you don’t realize is this. For whatever reason when he looks at you, it’s not lust in his eyes it’s love. You know this is terribly romantic, “An Affair to Remember” romantic. At least it would be if you’d been born a woman.”

“I’m not sure I could be intimate with him. His kisses excite me beyond what I could ever imagine. When I’m with him, sometimes I forget I was born a man. How are you going to handle that aspect?”

Linda began to giggle. Now this was NOT what I’d expected. “As long as you don’t sleep with another woman I suppose it’s okay. You know what’s a real giggle about this? You came to our wedding night a virgin, and you’ll go to your “wedding night” with Hal a virgin. Congratulations girl, you’ll have accomplished something I didn’t think possible!” Her giggles turned to outright laughter, and I sat there in disbelief. “You know you’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to be penetrated, and you are incredibly sensitive down there. I’ll bet you turn out to be a multi-orgasmic woman!” Her laughter became more intense, and I just sat back crestfallen, and waited for a lull.

Crushed in spirit I tried one last argument, “Linda, I love you. You know there's a difference between talking about or wishing for something and reality. I don’t think I could ever love anyone else. I'm not sure I can live in my fantasies. Hon, you know eventually I'll give in to whatever you want. I’ll do anything for you, but this?”

“Hon, think about it, please, I really want this. I want this so much that I’m willing to give up something incredibly precious to me. I’m willing to give up being with you.”

I sighed, “If that’s the way you really feel.”

“Come on girlfriend,” she said pulling me to my feet, “you need a quick shower and shave. Hal is picking you up for dinner at 6:00.”

“You set me up! How could you!”

“Oh hush, no one set you up. It’s part of what you agreed to when you started this silly mess. Remember, you’re supposed to be Kate this week? Remember that Hal has already paid for that? Besides, he is kind of cute.” Linda began to giggle again.

I’ll say this for Linda, when she decides something she puts her whole being into it. Since she had decided it was time for me to get ready, she decided she would “help” me. A bath with Linda is soapy, squirmy fun — at least it is when you’re bathing in a Jacuzzi. Towards the end, it got much more fun. She climbed on my lap and proceeded to take care of my frustrations in the more most direct and enjoyable of ways.

I was feeling rather mellow when we showered off. I chose the black floral dress I’d worn on Monday, and was nearly ready when Hal arrived. Linda answered the door, and chatted with Hal in the living room while I finished dressing.

Uncharacteristically, Hal was dressed way casual. “Should I change?” I asked.

“No, you look beautiful,” he said. “I thought I’d introduce you to a different side of me tonight.”

I picked up my purse, and took his arm. We went downstairs, and out into the parking lot. “Where’s Jeeves?” I asked.

“Tonight it’s just us Kate.” We walked over to a green Mercury Sable, and he opened the door for me. “Have you ever shot a gun before?” he inquired casually.

“Uh… you might say that. You didn’t read my report so closely after all!” I smiled.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well… I spent 5  ½ years working my way through graduate school as a police officer. You might say I’ve shot a gun once or twice,” I smiled, it was so seldom I got the better of him.

“How about a machine gun?”

“No, that’s one thing I’ve not done yet.”

“Good!” he grinned, “that’s about to change.” He drove us down to a shop in a strip mall on Tropicana, right in downtown Las Vegas. “The Shooting Store” was a gun shop. Hal told me he had found this place years ago, and always tried to squeeze in a visit when he was in Las Vegas. We entered, and Hal paid for the two of us to use the range. “The Shooting Store” rented fully automatic sub machine guns. Hal chose an Ingram Mac 10, and I selected an Uzi — a weapon I’d heard about for years, but had never had a chance to fire. After donning, hearing protectors, for the next 30 minutes we proceeded to punch holes in paper targets. Hal was totally ticked, it was quickly apparent I was the better shot. He suggested a rematch with pistols. I just smiled. He chose a Smith and Wesson 9mm. I was tempted to select a “Lady Smith” — a line of handguns Smith and Wesson introduced for women — but instead settled on a Sig P226 with combat grips. It felt just the way it should. This gun was an old friend. I had carried a Sig just like this for 3 or 4 years. Grinning, I thought “This should be a walk in the park.”

The range was limited to 15 yards. I used to be able to hold 6-inch groupings from a point position. I was lucky to hold the patterns to a foot that day. When I fully extended to a Weaver stance, I brought my groupings down to about 4 inches. Hal? Well let’s just say he didn’t want a re-rematch. “Just wait till I get you home. I expect to put in some serious time on the range. Don’t think you’ll be able to beat me then!”

I just laughed. “A bit competitive tonight Hon?” He just grinned at me. We went next door and had chicken at KFC. I wasn’t sure Hal ever ate “normal” food. After this week, I was beginning to think he was a serious gourmet. Now that Comdex was over, I guess he could begin to unwind a bit.

He asked if I wanted to see a movie, and I asked if “Space Cowboys” was still playing. He made a call, and found the Regal Texas 18 theater was showing it at 8:40. We drove to the theater, and sat in the car and talked till it was time for the movie.

Afterwards, Hal drove us back to the Venetian. I let him kiss me goodnight, and let myself into the room.

Inside, Linda had lit candles around the bedroom — where she got them I didn’t know. There was a bottle of champagne, and the bed was turned down. On the bed was a white nightgown, with a sheer robe.

“Beth, you get changed. I’m going to step next door and talk to Hal. If I’m right, he’ll be back here in 10 minutes. Just relax, and see what happens. You might get the chance to see if you can be Kate in every way to him.” With that, she gave me a deep soul searing kiss and scooted out the door.

Oh my gosh. I mixed a strong screwdriver, and quickly changed. The nightgown barely concealed anything, the panty almost wasn’t there, and the robe was virtually transparent. I downed the screwdriver. I fixed another and powered that one down while I freshened my makeup and , brushed my teeth., dropped the robe over a chair, turned off the lights, and lay in bed to the glow of a dozen white candles.

Hal came in, and sat on the side of the bed. “You don’t have to do this,” he said. Then he leaned down and gently kissed me. “You are so beautiful. I love you Kate.” The weirdness returned with a vengeance. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and returned his kiss, and his passion.

“I don’t know if I can do this, but if I’m to be Kate, we both need to know now, before it goes too far.” He reached down and caressed my breasts.

“These will need some work I think,” he teased, as he leaned over to tenderly kiss one breast and then the other.

My heart was pounding like a drum. “Could you pour us some champagne?” I asked. He poured the white wine, handed me a glass, and blew out all but the 2 farthest candles. He slowly undressed and then joined me in bed.

Saturday

I woke to find myself snuggled against Hal’s chest. His scent brought back memories of my father when I was a kid. I would crawl in bed with my parents on a Saturday morning. Strangely, it was comforting, it seemed right somehow. Hal had been gentle. There were parts that got in the way, but it was not as bad as I had dreaded. In fact, I began to enjoy it once I’d accepted the reality of what we were doing. He definitely tried to pleasure me, and I know that I pleasured him.

I heard a noise at the door, and saw Linda sneak into the room. She was wearing a nightie, and snuggled into bed beside me. I was effectively turned into the filling of a 3-person sandwich. “How was it?” she whispered in my ear.

“Wonderful!” was Hal’s shouted response from the other side of me. I nearly jumped out of my skin, I’d no idea he was awake.

“How long have you been awake?” I asked.

I couldn’t believe it, but he actually leered at me, “long enough to contemplate whether I could get it up again this morning my dear.”

Linda squealed, I blushed, and Hal began to laugh uproariously. “Has anyone ordered breakfast?” he finally asked.

“Whew, there for a moment I was afraid I was to be breakfast!” I said as I rushed to the bathroom.

After a quick shower (I was happy — Linda joined me), I dressed in a denim jumper over a chambray shirt.

By the time I’d finished my makeup and hair, Hal returned with a bag of bagels and croissants. Linda had ordered coffee, fruit and juice and we sat down to a light breakfast.

“So, where do we go from here,” I asked. “It seems that you two have backed me into a corner, a nice one to be sure, but still a corner.”

Hal looked at Linda and asked, “Does that mean you two accept my offer?”

Linda looked at me and I said, “Linda happily accepts, I’m scared and reluctant., I don't really want this, but I'll do anything for Linda. There are some logistical things that have to be worked out.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Well, living for a week is one thing, but if I’m to be Kate full time I’m going to need something more than breast forms; especially if I’ll be in the company of other women less than fully clothed.”

“Kate, whatever you need we’ll do. I assume you mean breast augmentation?”

“That’s part of it, but if you two expect me to repeat last night, there are a couple of things that got in the way and were really uncomfortable. I’ll either need to remove them, or have them lifted into my abdomen. I really hated feeling like I’d been kicked in the balls when you were trying to be so loving.”

Hal sputtered coffee across the table and Linda began laughing. “I’m not kidding, what you thought were moans of pleasure were actually cries of pain.”

“Whatever you do, make sure we’ll still be able to make love John,” Linda said.

“Of course, we might need some help, but I won’t give that up. Also, the hair has to go. And I think Linda’s going to need someone like — or maybe — Abbey to get things going.” Do you think Annie will come back to Cendar for a while to help me? I told Hal that Linda and I needed a few days to wrap things up. I needed to see if I could take a 3-6 month leave of absence, and work things out with my boss. Linda needed to quit her job and see about office space. And I needed to get started on my physical changes.

Hal called his attorneys and asked it they would join us. Then Hal and I called Annie to ask her if she would meet with us. Erik Moore and Liz Rodriguez, Hal’s attorney’s arrived first. Our breakfast turned into a working brunch. It was agreed that my actual identity would be a closely held secret. No one outside our working group would be told that I was anyone other than Kate. Annie was skeptical, and it took Hal sometime to convince her that: 1 — This was his idea; and 2 — I was not a gold digger. It took a trip to the bathroom with Linda and I for her to believe that I was a man. Annie’s eyes bugged out, and she began to giggle. “I knew you weren’t Kate, but this is just too weird.” Ultimately she agreed to help for one reason; she loved Hal and Kate. In some ways they were surrogate parents. Hal had chosen me, and I made him happy. That was good enough for her.

Erik would take care of the identity issues in Massachusetts and New Hampshire. He also thought he would be able to file a petition in Federal court that would accomplish much the same thing. Liz would travel to California with Linda and I to begin our transition to working for Cendar and to open a corporate office there. Annie would work with Abbey and take over as my assistant. I would fly from California to Massachusetts by Wednesday — so that I could be the hostess for Thanksgiving dinner, and Abbey would then fly to California to work for Linda. Linda and I signed the various forms, signature cards and employment contracts to make this all work. I was not surprised when we were asked to provide our fingerprints. When all the paperwork was completed, Linda and I would be given corporate Master Cards as soon as the banks opened on Monday, in my case both as John and as Kate. We were cautioned to keep track of expenses, business as well as personal. If this arrangement ever became public we would probably be audited. Hal insisted that one of the corporate jets be assigned to Linda and I.

“Erik can fly back with me, it only makes sense that you have the convenience. I want you to find the best doctor’s to perform the alterations we’ve talked about. And they might not be in Southern California. This allows you to do things in your timing, without all the hassle of airline travel these days.”

With the next week planned and organized, we checked in at the Comdex site to help with the packing. I had also asked Jack Mooney, Janie Roberts and Hiram Jones, and Simon to stop by and pick up employment offers. As per company policy, I told them if they accepted, they would be on the Cendar payroll as of December 1, and they could consider December's salary a signing bonus. They would be expected on site by January 2, 2002. I gave them a list of movers that Cendar had working relationships with, and told them they could expect expense vouchers and checks to cover salary and moving costs by the end of the next week. I invited them to move as quickly as possible, and told them Cendar had temporary housing for them, and promised them a wonderful holiday season.

Early that afternoon, I discovered a minor problem. With all the clothing that had been purchased, I did not have the luggage to contain it. Jeeves solved it by running down to the Fashion Show Mall and picking up a set of luggage to accommodate my new wardrobe. After packing, I told Hal I’d be in Massachusetts by Wednesday; collected a kiss, and Linda, Liz and I went to McCarran Airport.

Cendar operates 3 business jets. Two are identical Boeing Business Jets, and one is a Cessna Citation X. All three were at McCarran. Jeeves carried our luggage out to one of the BBJs. I was introduced to the pilot and stewardess, and strapped into a very comfortable seat. This was definitely the way to travel. The pilot was able to take off right away, and it seemed we had no sooner reached cruising altitude than it was time to start our descent. Total flight time was 40 minutes.

We landed at Ontario International; Corona’s runway just wasn't long enough for the BBJ. Jeeves had arranged ground transportation, and we checked into the Ontario Airport Hilton. “Kate” would be staying in the Motel. Linda and I needed to get home. We stayed just long enough for me to store my jewelry in the hotel safe, and change back to plain old John Williams. Dark green polo shirt, Levi’s, and sport sandals. We checked that Liz was settled, then I called down and asked for a taxi. I collected Linda’s luggage, and my own original bag, and we took a taxi to the Hertz rental agency. It’s nice to be on an expense account. I chose a Lincoln Navigator and drove Linda to Corona where she had parked, and then we both headed on home.

My mom smiled at me as we walked in the door. “Thanks, mom, you’ve no idea how much you letting Linda join me has meant.” I gave her a hug, and she relaxed.

“Timmy and Lisa are at the movies. So, how was the trip?”

“Do you remember when you read me ‘Alice in Wonderland’?” She nodded. “I am not exaggerating, but Linda and I have fallen down through the rabbit’s hole. Both Linda and I have been offered jobs by one of the largest computer companies. It will however entail a number of changes.”

“You can say that again!” Linda stated, and then fell on the couch laughing. Now my mom knows Linda’s sense of humor is a bit on the low side. She took Linda’s behavior in stride.

“What do you mean?”

“This is rich,” Linda said, “I can’t wait to see how you explain it!”

I pulled out my “Kate” driver’s license and passport. “Well, I suppose how I dress will be a bit different,” and handed them to my mom. She looked at the Passport, looked at the dates, looked at me, looked back at the driver’s license, looked at me, and then started all over again. “It seems that I had an identical twin. She died two months ago, and I’ve been asked to replace her as a senior officer in Cendar Corporation.”

Now my mom knows all about my gender dysphoria. She even blames it on medications she took during her pregnancy with me. She just shook her head, and gave me a wistful smile. “I assume they threw lots of money at you?” I nodded. “And what did they offer Linda?”

Linda stood, made a very lovely curtsy curtsey to my mother, and said, “You are looking at the new Vice President in charge of West Coast operations for Cendar.”

“And whose idea was this?”

“Hal Stevens, the President, CEO and majority stock holder of Cendar. Aided and abetted by my treacherous, conniving wife.” Linda just stuck out her tongue and smiled.
“Stevens, hold on, your passport said Katherine Elayne Stevens. Is he your brother?” My mom asked. Linda choked, and began laughing, this time literally rolling about on the couch.

“Uh, no. Actually he’s more like my, uh… husband.” I fear I blushed bright red.

“Oh dear… And Linda?”

“She’s the one all in favor of it. I’m more than a bit ambivalent,” I said.

“Boy, can I ever understand THAT!”

“Anyway, our financial worries are over. Our new jobs are guaranteed for at least 2  ½ years, and we’ll both be making more in one year than we did in 10 before.”

“I’d have to say it does sound like you landed in Wonderland,” my mom chuckled.

“Anyway, I’ve lots of loose ends I have to wrap up by Wednesday.”

About that time, the kids got home. Timmy, the younger, was already a six-foot tall 15-year-old. Lisa, his sister was an 18-year-old senior. Lisa looks a lot like her mom, Light brown hair, green eyes, and a trim 5’6” tall. Hugs were passed around, and we decided to go out for pizza at “Godfather’s.” Lisa asked whose Lincoln was in the driveway, I told her I’d explain later. Everyone enjoyed the ride though.

We made it an early evening. I put a call into Hal, and asked him to have the investigating firm Cendar used to find a dermatologist, a plastic surgeon, and a reconstructive urologist within 500 miles of Ontario. Hal said he’d get them right on it, and I could expect a call before Monday morning, and full reports would be faxed to my plane.

Sunday

The next day, we attended church then went out for lunch at Outback Steakhouse. Lisa, ever the practical one, asked how we could afford to go out twice in two days. Linda and I explained that we had been offered new jobs, and went into almost all of the details over lunch. The kids were told that I’d be working most of the time in Massachusetts. We also told them the company had agreed as part of our contracts to pay for their college fees — including books, tuition, room and board, and a monthly allowance. Lisa whooped at this news, jumped up and kissed me then her mother. Lisa had been afraid we would not be able to afford sending her to college. Neither Lisa nor Tim was excited about me being gone, but both could see the advantages.

After lunch, I decided to see just how good my new credit card was, and I admit, I wanted to show off a little bit.

“Lisa, if you were to get a new car, what kind would you want?”

“That’s easy, I really think the new VW Beetle is cute. Why?”

“Have you looked at any of them?” I asked.

“Just pictures, why?”

“How about we go look at one?” I asked as we got into the Lincoln. I could see Linda knew what I was doing from the twinkle in her eye. “I think, under the circumstances Hal would approve,” I said. Linda nodded, and we drove to the VW dealership in Ontario — “Exclusively VW”. “Pretend I had lots of money, when we get there and show me what you’d like baby,” I said to Lisa.

When we got there, a salesman came out of the office like he was shot out of a gun. “How can I help you?” he said.

“Would you show my daughter the New Beetle? I’m just the chauffeur.”

Linda and I sat there as Lisa and Tim ran the salesman ragged showing them all the various models. Lisa took notes. I had to go with her and the salesman as she did a test drive. Finally, Lisa came over with a list of everything she’d want. A green New Beetle, Monsoon Stereo, CD-Changer, Grey leather seats, moon roof, and flower vase. I waved the salesman over.

“I’m a Costco member, will you honor the Costco Price or should I go elsewhere?” He checked with his manager, and agreed they could meet that price. I pulled out my Cendar credit card, and told him to write it up and charge it.

Lisa gasped, and then practically knocked me over with a hug. Tim looked at me like I’d grown an extra head, and Linda laughed (of course).

An hour later, Lisa and Tim drove home in her New Beetle. Linda and I followed. “That my dear, was priceless,” she said. “You know, they’re going to be willing to do anything now.”

“That’s what I was shooting for, and why I’m sure Hal won’t mind. When they find out the rest, they’re less likely to freak on me.”

That evening I got the opportunity to find out. We all sat down at the kitchen table after dinner and Linda and I told them all the details. Now my kids had seen me dressed on Halloween, and I’m sure they suspected I dressed at other times — after all, kids are basically sneaky and curious. I told them the story, and they were a bit shocked that I went to Comdex as a woman. They laughed along with Linda and me when I described Tuesday morning, and Hal’s repeated fainting. Lisa gasped at the fact I’d been to Gowns R Us — apparently it was already big news to teenage girls. They were astounded when I showed them Kate’s ID. “I would have sworn that was you daddy!” was Lisa’s comment, and then she blinked, then shook her head in confusion as she realized what she’d said.

We have always been open with the kids about finances, and our financial situation. They both knew we were getting by okay, but they also knew there wasn’t a lot for extras. We explained the compensation package, and their eyes lit up. We then went on to explain that Linda and I were looking at this as our retirement nest egg. There would be money for some extras — like a new VW — but they shouldn’t be planning on being spoiled. Then Linda put in her two cents worth. “Actually Hon, Hal will probably will spoil them rotten when they visit you in New England. Which leads us to one other aspect we haven’t touched on. “Kids,” she said, “to everyone other that us, Hal, Annie (you’ll love her Lisa — she owns Gowns R Us), and a couple of lawyers your father will be Mrs. Katherine Elayne Stevens — Hal’s wife. Kate, as she’s known, is a senior member of Cendar Corporation. The reason they want your dad is that he has the computer and management skills, and he looks, talks, and thinks like Kate did. Almost no one knows that Kate actually died a few months ago. This is an incredible opportunity, but it is filled with weirdness. I mean MAJOR weirdness. When you go to visit your dad in Massachusetts, you’re going to have to remember that first and foremost he’s Kate. You’ll need to call HER Aunt Kate or something. Can you do that? Oh, and one more thing; accepting this job for your dad was MY idea. He didn’t want to have anything to do with it. He was afraid you’d think he’d gone gay or something. The only reason he accepted was I pleaded with him. I see this as an incredible opportunity. Your dad sees this as an incredible pain in the butt (I winced at that — the pain actually wasn’t in the butt, but I digress).

Linda is usually the happy go lucky, upbeat parent in my kid’s lives. I tend to be the one who has to say no. Linda blithely goes along with a happy spirit, laughing at us lesser mortals. It really made an impression on them to see her serious about such an important decision.

I asked the kids to think it over; they looked at each other, and said that wasn’t necessary. They would support their mother’s decision. I found it interesting they put it that way. I was grateful to Linda for taking the heat off of me. I did tell them that “Aunt Kate” would probably make an appearance before I had to leave on Wednesday.

Lisa and Tim ran off, Tim for the phone, Lisa to her new car to show it off. Me? I just went upstairs, took a quick shower and went to bed. There was a message, with names of Doctors on the answering machine. Tomorrow promised to be more hassle than I really wanted.

Monday November 19, 2001

I got into my office a bit before eight o’clock. I started packing up my personal effects. My boss arrived about 20 minutes later. I let him get settled in with a cup of coffee before entering his office. “Ted, have you got a minute for me?” I asked. He nodded and pointed to a chair. “I need to take a leave of absence. I’ve been offered a LOT of money for 6 months work. In fact, if I can’t get a leave of absence, I’ll have to quit. It’s just too much money to pass up. And, I’ll be honest; they may want me to stay full time. My department is in good shape, Sandy can easily handle the sysadmin work, and I would be available for about an hour a day if needed.” I laid it out as quickly as I could. Ted’s always been fair with me, and we’d developed a great working relationship.

“How much are they offering?” he asked.

“You ain’t gonna believe it. Close to $500,000 for the six months.”

“You’re right, I don’t believe it. Why don’t you go home and come back when you’re sober?” Ted laughed.

“I’m telling you the truth. Half a million for 6 months; I just can’t pass up an opportunity like that.”

We talked for a while longer. The bottom line was Ted wasn’t happy, but would process the paperwork for me — with his blessing. He really was upset about the timing. But his anger was directed at Murphy’s Law more than me.

I finished cleaning up my desk and packing my personal effects, and Ted helped me carry them out to the Navigator. “When did you get the new wheels?” he asked.

“Sunday, just one of the perks,” I replied. Ted was visibly impressed. I went back inside, called my staff together and broke the news to them. Sandy was pleased at the probable promotion, and they all wished me well.

I was out of the office by 9:00 and called the first doctor on my list.

The receptionist was a little flustered by my timing, but admitted the doctor had an opening for a consultation that morning. I made the appointment as Kate, hurried to the Hilton, changed, and retrieved my wedding rings, and a small bag of clothes. By 10:30 I was sitting in the doctor’s office. Dr. Kline was a middle-aged man, short and balding. I explained most of the situation to him, and offered a bonus if the procedure could be expedited. Dr. Kline explained that it could be performed in his office, and checked on the availability of the implants. The medical supply house had what he needed in stock, and could deliver.

While waiting, I noted that he also did dermabrasion and laser hair removal. I asked if he did the laser procedure, and he replied a nurse had been trained and usually performed that task. I asked if he could arrange for it to happen now, while waiting for the implants, and waved more money at him. It’s amazing what money can accomplish. I found myself lased on my face, arms, back and chest. The implants arrived, Dr. Kline filled out the paperwork, prepped my chest, collected his fees, and by 5:30 I was the proud owner of a hairless 52 C sized chest. My boobs hurt, and I felt like I had a slight sunburn where the laser had killed the hair follicles. I really wasn’t looking forward to another 5 or 6 treatments. Dr. Kline gave me two prescriptions. One I knew was for pain. The other, he mentioned in passing, would help smooth my skin and make the breasts appear more natural.

I returned home as Kate. Linda greeted me with a kiss and an evil grin. She told me with great delight how she’d given her notice, effective immediately, and how she waived her remaining vacation pay as recompense for not giving two weeks notice. I knew Hal would make that good. Lisa walked in on us, excited to tell us how her first day as a new car owner had gone. Lisa couldn’t believe how good I looked. When she looked at my boobs, she asked how I did it — they looked so real. I told her they were real, and when she didn’t believe me, I took her into my bedroom and removed my blouse. The look on her face caused me to chuckle. She tentatively poked one and blushed. “Mom!” she cried, “Daddy’s got bigger boobies than I do!” and she rushed out of the room.

Linda came back in and closed the door. I removed my bra, and Linda examined the doctor’s creation. “Not much nipple, but they certainly look and feel natural,” she said as she cupped my breasts in her hands.” I was starting to get excited, and Linda bent down and kissed both of them. “Later we’ll examine these more closely,” she leered, “but dinner’s almost ready, so that will have to wait!”

I quickly pulled my clothes on, and we went downstairs. Tim stared at me in shock. I asked how I looked, and he just blushed, stuttered and turned away. Linda gave him a little hug, and reminded him all this was her idea. I only hoped he would come around.

It was nice to have a home cooked meal. Hamburgers, French fries, and B&M Beans were a taste of home. I needed a bit of comfort food; it had been a hectic week. About half way through dinner, Lisa noticed my rings. Her eyes bugged out, “are those real?” she asked.

“Unfortunately yes, nice aren’t they?” I pulled the rings off and handed them to Lisa.

“They’re beautiful. Do you have any idea what they cost?” The rings were way too big for Lisa, but she kept turning them, catching the light.

“Yes, I know. It was one of my first hints into what was in store when I met Hal.” She handed them back, and I placed them back on my finger.

Tim said he wanted to see a movie, so he and Lisa went out to rent a DVD, and I helped Linda clear away the dishes.

I called Liz, and asked her to have the plane prepped for 8:00 the next morning. Liz told me she had been in touch with a commercial Realtor, and wanted Linda to join her in looking at a small business campus in Riverside County. I told her I’d pass that along to Linda, and was sure Linda would be ready when Liz arrived in the morning.

I told the kids goodnight, and went up to my bedroom. I washed my face and pulled a nightgown out of my luggage. My boobs continued to ache. I took the prescriptions as directed. Linda came up and joined me in bed. “You know what is going to happen tomorrow?” I asked. Linda nodded, and we proceeded to make love. She was careful with my boobs, we managed to climax together. Afterwards, we gently snuggled as we basked in the afterglow.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001

The alarm went off at 6:00 am. I rolled out of bed, showered and dressed. I selected a black peach-skin skirt and jacket over a pale blue blouse. I finished my makeup and hair, and went downstairs to fix breakfast. Lisa complimented me on the way I looked. Tim didn't say much, but it was clear from the look in his eyes that he didn't care for what he saw. The kids wanted oatmeal, which I fixed with toast and raisins — they ate, I watched; if everything went well, I’d be grateful for an empty stomach before the day was out.

After breakfast, I gave them both money for lunch, and headed for the airport. The pilot was ready, and I told him we would be heading for Phoenix. He filed the flight plan and we boarded the plane. The flight from Ontario to Phoenix took less than an hour. The pilot had arranged for a driver and limousine to be waiting at the commercial terminal.

I called office of Dr. Jason Wells as we left the airport. His receptionist was able to clear a 10:00 appointment for me. Dr. Wells owned and operated an outpatient surgery center on the northern outskirts of Phoenix. According to the reports he was one of the best urologists in the world. More importantly to me, he was one of the top 5 best reconstructive surgeons in the country.

We met, and I discussed the urgency, and nature of the procedure I wanted him to perform. He complained that there were ethical issues. I offered to pay his billed rate, rather than what the insurance company would pay. He claimed too many patients to accommodate me immediately. I offered to pay half of their costs up to $5000 each if they would reschedule. He laughed, stating I couldn’t possibly afford that. I pointed to the Limo in the parking lot and handed him my Master Card and suggested he put a $20,000 sales hold on it. He called his receptionist and waited while she processed the transaction. Dr. Wells became much more cooperative when his receptionist returned with the transaction approval.

“But why come to me, and why the urgency?” he asked.

“Because you were the best board certified reconstructive urologist within a 500 mile radius and I’ve read reports on your work. The urgency is my own affair. Can you do what I ask or not?”

He agreed, then asked if it I’d eaten that morning,. I assured him I’d had nothing since 6:00 the previous evening. We went to a private room; where I disrobed, and put on one of those incredibly inadequate hospital “gowns.” After signing the consent forms Dr. Wells went to scrub. I was placed on a hospital gurney, and my genital region prepped for surgery. The anesthesiologist came and administered a spinal block, and I was taken to the Operating Room. Without going into the more gruesome details, what Dr. Wells did was perform a radical, bi-lateral orchiectomy with cosmetic reconstruction. My scrotum was fashioned into what looked like labial folds, and my penis was retracted behind those folds. Then, using endoscopic techniques, the muscle which constricts the veins draining blood from the corpus spongiosum — the process which causes an erection, was cut, and a small electronic valve placed in the vein. The result was that unless the valve closed I would be unable to get an erection. On the positive side was the fact that once the valve was closed I would get and maintain an erection — until the valve was opened again. Linda was going to LOVE that. The procedure took four hours in the OR, and another 2 hours in recovery. The doctor had used surgical glue on the incisions, and assured me I could shower or bathe with no effect on the wounds. He wrote a couple of prescriptions, and after recovery, I dressed, settled up with the business office, and called for my driver.

I left wearing a heavy sanitary napkin, and instructions on the care of the incisions, and an appointment for the following Friday. I felt like hell, I was having phantom pains from the testicles that were no longer there, my crotch itched from being shaved. My boobs continued to ache, and my face and throat had developed a rash from the laser treatment. On the other hand, I could now be seen without clothes, and no one would see anything other than a fat chick. I hoped this job was worth it. We flew back to Ontario, and I met with Linda and Liz.

They had found an office/research complex that would work for Cendar. Linda explained it was a bit of a drive from our house, but the location would be perfect, with good access to Interstate 15. I asked where it was, and they told me Temecula. We agreed I’d take a look the next morning before flying to Massachusetts.

I wasn’t really very hungry — all I wanted to do was go to bed. Linda helped me clean up, and I turned in before 8:00. It’s amazing how quick you can go to sleep when you’re flying on vicodin Airlines; at least it stopped the pain.

Wednesday November 21, 2001

The pain was worse the next morning. Nothing to be concerned about, but I was very uncomfortable. I dressed in cotton panties with a heavy panty liner, bra and loose fitting jogging suit; very little makeup, and tennis shoes.

I went down and had cereal with the kids. When they left for school, I was careful to hug them and tell them of my love. I would be gone when they got home from school.

I packed my bag and Linda and I picked up Liz and drove to Temecula. The site they had chosen was about a mile west of the freeway. There was a three story office building and 3 other buildings on a quiet cul de sac. Linda’s eyes lit up as they talked about renovating the buildings. From what I could gather, they planned on an eventual staff of 75-85 people. I told them I’d talk to Hal about it, but to plan on signing the documents as soon as Liz finished reviewing them.

We returned to Ontario, I checked out of the Hilton, and dropped the Navigator off at Hertz. Linda walked me to the plane, and we kissed before I went aboard. “Well Miss Alice,” she said, “what new and wondrous things will the March Hare show you next?” The whole Alice in Wonderland thing was beginning to wear thin. I just groaned and climbed aboard.

I’ll say this about the Boeing Business Jet, it’s fast and it's comfortable. We left Ontario at 10:00 and landed at Beverly Municipal Airport before 6:00. With the three hour time difference that meant our actual flight time was less than 5 hours. Add to that the nap I took while in flight, the lack of hassle at either end, and no waiting, and suddenly I understood why Hal invested in business jets.

I was grateful to see Jeeves, and climbed in the back seat while he loaded my luggage in the trunk. We left the airport, and headed towards Topsfield by the road signs. It began to snow on the way. About a half hour from the airport Jeeves turned into a driveway and drove nearly half a mile before coming to a large building. It was too big to call a “house” but not fancy enough on the outside to call it a mansion. Jeeves pulled up in front of the door, then came and opened my car door. “Welcome home madam Kate,” he said. I entered the front hall, and a housekeeper came up and took my coat. “Mister Stevens will be home soon madam.” Jeeves carried the luggage in, and I followed him, hoping he would take them to my room.

I was in luck; he opened the door to a large bedroom suite, and deposited my luggage on a table in the parlor. “Thank you Jeeves. When Hal gets home would you tell him I’m up here? I appreciate it.” Jeeves left, and I began to explore my new home.

The walls were paneled in a light maple wood, highly polished. The “parlor” room contained a wet bar, book cases, an entertainment center, and comfortable looking easy chairs and a couch. It was a room that was meant to be lived in. Through the door I could see a king size, with a solid looking headboard and foot board. Matching nightstands flanked the bed. A cheery fireplace blazed A small table with matching chairs was near what I thought to be sliding glass doors, and a comfortable looking couch was against the far wall. The parlor connected to the bathroom through an enormous walk-in closet.

The bathroom was richly appointed with marble, and glass. The bathtub was a jacuzzi, deep, contoured and large enough for 4 or 5 people. It appeared equipped with whirlpool jets, and had multiple shower nozzles, and controls for what looked like a contrast shower; a shower that could go from hot to very cold with the push of a button. The tub was enclosed with frosted glass, and a separate glass enclosure for the shower was next to it. The toilet was separate, and included a bidet. The vanity was marble, and very well lit. It included a magnifying mirror on a swinging arm. Next to the vanity was a closet, which contained towels and toiletries. I reached in and turned on the bath. I undressed, and after adding bubbles stepped into the warm, soothing water.

Hal found me in the tub when he finally got home. I guess I was dowsing off, he reached in and started rubbing my shoulders. He really couldn’t see anything through the bubbles. It was I’m sure a surprise when his hands slid down and cupped my breasts.

“Careful,” I said, “they ache.”

“They feel so natural.”
“For what they cost they should. Do you want to wash my back?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, giving me his twisted grin. He stepped into the closet and took his clothes off. I hadn’t really seen him naked before. He was slender, but well toned. His skin was well tanned. He grabbed a wash cloth and stepped into the tub. He collected a kiss, and I could feel his erection swelling against my thigh as he ran his hands down my sides. “Turn around,” he said. I turned, and he soaped up my back, and began scrubbing it. “What are all the little red bumps?”

“Those are from the laser hair removal yesterday.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really, it feels kind of like a mild sunburn.”

He finished my back, turned me around, and started on my front. “Careful Hal, they really are tender.” He gently soaped them up, and washed them. He reached down and kissed the left one. “Hmm… that feels nice,” I said.

I made him turn around, and quickly washed his back, and then shampooed his hair. He returned the favor, and I stood up to rinse off.

“My God Kate! Where’s your penis?”

“You like?” I asked, though with his standing at full attention it seemed a silly question.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my hands off you!”

“Hal, tonight you’re either going to, or you’ll sleep in another room. I need at least two weeks to heal.”

Hal moaned, and turned the shower on. He pulled me to him for a hug, and my arms went around his neck. He began to kiss me and his hands slid down to the small of my back, and pulled me close. I slid one hand down and softly stroked him till he came. I don’t know why I did it, except that I would have hated to be in that state; aroused and frustrated.

We finished rinsing, and he toweled me dry. I wrapped a towel around me, up over my boobs, and reached for the hair dryer. Hal said “Let me.” He gently brushed my hair and dried it. “I used to do this for Kate all the time,” he said. “I love the touch, the feel of your hair.” He finished, and I padded into the other room looking for clothes.

“Hon, where are my nightgowns?”

“I suppose you do need a tour, don’t you?” He walked into the bedroom and opened the second drawer in an enormous chest of drawers. I selected one that looked comfortable; brushed cotton on the inside, and sateen on the outside. I pulled on a pair of cotton panties, then went to the closet and selected a soft, comfy robe. A pair of slippers completed my ensemble.

“Hal, could we just have something brought up tonight. My internal clock is off by three hours, I’m sore and I hurt, all I really want to do is eat a little something, and then go to bed.”

“What would you like; I promise no “special” effort will go into it.”

“Actually, I’d love to have a bowl of Campbell’s Bean with Bacon Soup and a Bologna Sandwich on toast. Uh… since I’m giving my preferences known, I like Miracle Whip, not mayo. Could I also get a banana and a glass of low fat milk, and a glass of orange juice?”

Hal came over and took my hands in his. “Sweetheart, I don’t know how you do it, but you’ve done it again. That is a meal Kate could have ordered. Bologna was one of Kate's usual requests. Cook will have it up here in the next 20 or 30 minutes. Would you like something to drink in the meantime?”

“Not really. I’m going to take my pain meds and I don’t want anything to interact with them. I pulled out the bottles the doctors had given me and took my meds. I made a mental note too look up the other scrips. I didn't know it by it's trade name, and resolved to correct that as soon as possible. I flipped on the television, and flipped through the channels.

There was a discrete knock on the door, and Hal opened it to let one of the housekeepers in. She rolled a cart in and set out our dinner on the sitting room table. “Thank you Teresa,” Hal said as she left.

I was famished, and soon finished the soup and sandwich. I went into the bathroom, and washed up while Hal loaded the dishes on the cart. “Kate, are you up to a brief tour of some of the safety features of the house?”

There was a familiar twinkle in his eye. The kind that meant there was something more than a tour in store. It was still early by my internal clock, and the vicodin hadn't taken effect, so I agreed.

Hal walked toward the closets. “Did you happen to notice the thickness of this wall?” I shook my head no. “Stand over here by me in the closet. You see this switch?” He pointed to an ordinary looking light switch. I nodded. “Turn it on,” he said smiling.

I reached out and flipped the switch. Immediately the walls closest to the sitting room began to move towards one another, and the floor trembled. When they met, my ears popped as the air pressure changed.

“We’re now in a fireproof chamber,” Hal said, “Those doors will also withstand almost anything that could be used against them, including rocket propelled grenades.”

He moved to the end of the closet closest to the rest of the house. There was an electronic keypad, and what I thought was a biometric hand scanner on a heavy metal door. Hal placed his right hand on the scanner, and punched in a series of numbers. The front of the cabinet opened — the door was easily 2 inches thick. Inside were shelves with jewelry, and racked weapons. I watched in helpless fascination as Hal explained the contents of his bedroom arsenal. “What we have here are his and hers combat rigs. The pistols are Smith and Wesson 4046 .40 caliber semi-automatics with tritium sights. The shotguns are short barrel Winchester Model 1300 Defenders — there’s two with pistol grips and two with composite stocks. There’s also two variable scoped Ruger Ranch rifles in .223 caliber. That’s the same as the M-16. And finally, there’s two Uzi’s with extra magazines. The safe is designed to recognize your hand print and a PIN number. Could you place your hand here for a moment?”

I reached over and put my hand on the scanner. “Could you enter a PIN number also Hon?” I entered the last four digits of my old California Driver’s license. “Very good,” Hal closed the door. “Will you try to open it?” he asked. I place my hand on the scanner, punched in the PIN and the door swung easily open. “This is also where Kate kept her jewelry. That jewelry is now yours,” Hal said. I started to protest, but he just pulled me into a hug, “please don’t. No one has ever done anything close to what you’ve done for me. I can’t believe how giving you are,” he slid his hand down to my groin to be certain I knew exactly what it was he believed I’d given up for him.

“Next, on the coat hangers are Nomex jumpsuits and Kevlar flak jackets. The helmets on the rack have lexan faceplates, and built in radio sets. There are a set of Sam Brown belts and holsters. Hopefully they’ll never be needed, but if they are, you’ll be prepared.

“Now, being stuck here, while safe certainly wouldn’t be any fun.” He closed the safe, and walked to the end of the other closet. There was a similar scanner/PIN pad on the wall. He went through the same routine and opened the door. This one opened to reveal a brightly lit passage. “This is how we get away, or just move around the house with no one the wiser.” We turned right, and he showed me an elaborate Television, telephone and computer console. “There are cameras throughout the estate. Any of them can be accessed from here on this touch screen display.” He brought up a schematic map of the grounds and touched the camera symbols on the map. The television screen dutifully showed the view of the camera. “You can move it around with the joystick here,” he said as moved it around. “There are also cameras throughout the estate itself. All are totally hidden to public view. The only places without cameras are the bathrooms and bedrooms.” He walked to the corner. “This is an elevator that connects this passage with identical ones on the 3rd and 1st floors and the basement.” He pressed the call button, and the elevator silently opened. He punched the button for the basement.

The elevator opened onto a brightly lighted corridor. When I think of a basement, the image that comes to mind is a cold, dark, and damp subterranean hole with pipes and open floor joists showing. This “basement” resembled a well appointed office building. The ceilings were at least 10 foot high, the walls painted in a soothing pastel blue, and the air delightfully warm and dry.

Hal opened a door and stepped into what was obviously a shooting range. Complete with two shooting lanes and automated target pulleys. He closed the door and stepped over to the firing line. “Can you see the door?” he asked. There was no sign of it to be seen. “Watch carefully,” he said. He reached under the table at the left shooting table. A panel popped open on the wall we had just come through revealing a scanner and PIN pad. Hal placed his hand on the scanner and punched in his PIN. The door opened smoothly. He punched in a series of commands then asked me to place my hand on the scanner. The plate blinked, and Hal asked me to enter a PIN. He then directed me to reach under the shooting table, as he had, and feel for a fingerprint scanner. I did, and the console blinked again, indicating its acceptance of my fingerprint.

Hal closed everything down, then asked me to open the door. I reached under the table, found the ID pad, and the panel popped out of the wall — just like it was supposed to. I placed my hand on the scanner, entered my PIN, and the door quietly snicked open. “Good!” Hal commented. “Let’s move on.”

Near the shooting stations was a room with a hand scanner and PIN pad. Hal opened it, programmed it for me, and we went inside.

“This is my armory,” he said proudly. “I’ve collected guns for years.” The long wall was covered from floor to ceiling with drawers. They looked to be eight feet long, and about a foot high. The shorter wall held glass cases filled with various long guns. The wall with the door was lined with metal cabinets. Hal opened one of the metal cabinets and pulled out a wooden box. “This belongs to you my dear.” He handed me the box.

I opened the box and pulled out a beautiful pistol. The Lady Smith was a marketing ploy to target (you should excuse the expression) women shooters. The pistol was solid, but uncomfortably small in my hand. “Hal, if you expect me to carry a pistol, this one won’t work. It’s too small.”

He smiled, “that’s what Kate said. I still admired it enough to buy it for her. So, what do you fancy to carry with you normally?”

“If I have to carry a pistol, I’d prefer a Sig P226 with the 16 round magazine. What I don’t understand is why you want me to carry a gun? Even more, are you a NUT or what? There's enough fire power here for a big city Police Department. What gives?”

“I’m trying to protect you and our friends. We had an incident a couple of years ago where one of our executives was kidnapped. We paid the ransom but we lost him. The police said he probably could have defended himself had he been armed, or even trained a bit. Since then, all our managers undergo firearms and defensive training. I won't lose another friend!” He walked over to a cabinet, and pulled out a Sig and handed it to me. “Here, I hope you’ll spend time on the range getting used to this gun.” We left the armory and walked back to the range, through the concealed door and entered the elevator.

Back in our room, I placed the gun box on a shelf high in the closet, slipped off my robe and slippers, and climbed in bed. Hal undressed, and lay down beside me. He reached over and pulled me into a snuggly hug. As I lay cradled in his arms he stroked my body through the nightgown. The feeling was frankly delicious. He would cup a breast, rub down the side of my body, rub my bottom, and then do it all again. The vicodin was really taking effect, and I drifted off to sleep lying in his arms.

Thursday — Thanksgiving, November 22, 2003

The next morning I woke up with less pain in my breasts, and the phantom pain from my groin had just about disappeared — it was more of a twinge than an actual pain. I noticed lots of tiny hairs on the bedclothes — the follicles treated to remove the hair had begun ejecting the dead hair cells. Hal was nowhere to be seen.
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I showered, and did my makeup. Selected underwear and went searching the closet. I knew the look I wanted. Sort of a Eddie Bauer/Land’s End New England preppie Thanksgiving look. I wound up finding a muted red plaid jumper that reached my calf. I wore it over a soft long sleeve hunter green angora sweater and white tights. There were a pair of low heeled black ankle boots that I hoped would fit; they actually did fit quite well and were very comfortable. I found and wrapped a red ribbon through my hair. Next I looked through “my” jewelry. There was a jewelry box in the bedroom, as well as the formidable safe in the closet. I found a pair of thanksgiving turkeys in gold with a cloisonné inlay, and placed them in my ears.

It was 8:30 am. After checking my image in the mirror I set out to explore my new domain. I retraced my steps from the night before downstairs then followed my nose and the wonderful smells of Thanksgiving that filled the downstairs. The kitchen was huge. There were two women working to prepare dinner. The older of the two looked up, saw me enter, and called out “Good morning Mrs. Stevens, would you like some breakfast?” Fortunately, she wore a name tag.

“Please Vikki, would it be possible to get some oatmeal?”

“Certainly, would you like some coffee or tea this morning?”

“Tea would be wonderful.”

“Shall I serve it in the sun room this morning?” I nodded, and she turned to fix breakfast. I had seen the sun room, and managed to find my way without looking too lost. The sun room was on the South side of the House and adjoined the Great Hall. I wandered out and explored the lush garden contained under glass. The sun room was a curved glass covered expanse that stretched over a hundred feet from north to south, and 40 feet wide. It also rose to the third floor giving it a bright airy feel. Near the kitchen end of the sun room was a dining table, and I made my way through the fragrant garden. There was a copy of the Boston Globe on the table and I passed the time reading the paper.

Vikki brought in the oatmeal, along with bacon, toast, fruit, juice, milk and tea. At least I wasn’t going to starve I thought. “Thank you, do you know where Mr. Stevens is?”

Vikki smiled and pointed at the far end of the sun room. “I suspect he’s over in his office,” she said pointing to the far end of the sun room. Breakfast was wonderful, and I complemented Vikki as I returned the dishes to the kitchen. “Mrs. Stevens, you shouldn’t worry about the dishes,” she scolded. “We’re all just glad you’re home. Mr. Stevens said you might have some memory lapses so please don’t be embarrassed to ask us anything.”

I should have known Hal would be complete in his preparations. I asked what was on the menu for dinner, and what time we would be eating.

“Turkey, of course, but also a Virginia ham, and a crown rib roast. We’re also preparing the traditional side dishes, yams, corn, peas, carrots, and various salads. Apple and Pumpkin pies, and hand made ice cream. We’ll be setting the table for forty, and expect guests to start arriving about 2:00. Dinner is scheduled for 4:00. Various dips will be set out in the Great Hall with chips and snacks.”

“Mister Stevens had menus printed with maps of the House. Would you like to see one?” I nodded, and she took one from the counter and handed it to me. “A Traditional Thanksgiving at Stevens Hall” was the title. The picture on the cover was pure Currier and Ives; the Stevens Hall decorated with snow. Inside left was a letter that reduced me to tears. “It is with the deepest thanks that I celebrate this holiday. Through the Grace of God, my wife Katherine is once again with me. We look forward to sharing this festive time with you, and trust you will enjoy our hospitality. Hal Stevens.” On the right side was a copy of the menu. The back cover was my greatest resource. It contained a map of Stevens Hall. I thanked Vikki, and wandered off to find Hal.

The Great Hall was a scene straight out of the 1800’s. The walls were a Rich dark mahogany paneling; with paintings of long dead colonial type people and medieval tapestries. Lighting was indirect, and I half expected to see suits of armor in the corners.

I made my way to the office, and found Hal playing No One Lives Forever, happily killing bad guys. “Good morning Hal. I Bet I can beat you in that game!”

“No!” He groaned, “First the shooting range, and now computer games?”

I just laughed. “You’ll see!”

Hal got up and came over to give me a hug. “Are you ready for today?”

“Not really, I’ve no idea who anyone is, and I feel like I’m totally out of my depth. Vikki calls me “Mrs. Stevens” and scolds me when I bring my dishes to the kitchen. I’m really feeling like Alice in Wonderland again.”

He laughed, “Get used to it. You look marvelous this morning. You are very New England chic.”

I gave him a brief curtsy, “Thank you kind sir.”

“Kate, we need to talk about our guests. I know you don’t realize what’s happening here. I also recognize that you and I have not discussed politics. I suppose that as you resemble Kate so much, you MUST share her opinions.” ‘Uh oh,’ I thought. “I suppose I should have asked, but what are your political leanings?”

Now when I was growing up, my daddy always told me there are two things you never discuss. One is religion, the other is politics. I was going to break his instructions. I sighed, hoping it wouldn't lead to an argument. “I suppose you could say I was formed in the womb part of the GOP. I voted for Nixon, and I’m still proud of it. Our previous president was an immoral philandering piece of fecal matter, and I for one am glad he’s gone!” I looked intently at Hal, and could sense his relief.

“You don’t know how glad I am to hear that. Governor Jane Swift and her husband Chuck Hunt will be here, as well as former Governor Paul Cellucci. Cendar as a corporation, and you and I as individuals are major contributors to the Republican Party. Today is kind of a preliminary get together to look at the 2004 elections and assure them of our continued support. We’re doing it today to avoid publicity. You worked with Jane on the Girl Scout council, and invited her and her family to join us for Thanksgiving in August. That is one of the reasons I am so grateful you are here.”

Wheels within wheels, within wheels I thought. Nothing was simple with Hal. “Then she has a need to know I’m not the Kate she knew.” I said it gently, but with enough force that Hal would know I’d brook no argument on this point.

He nodded his head, “If we could avoid it I would, but she’ll know you’re a different person as soon as you greet each other. I agree with you, and she will arrive a bit before the other guests — primarily so the two of you can talk.”

“And now, would you like a tour of your domain?” We left the office and took the elevator to the 4th floor. “I’ll start at the top,” he said. We exited the elevator into an enclosed sun deck. Chaise lounges were scattered around, a complete wet bar stood next to the elevator, the sun deck merged into an enclosed Basketball Court. At the far end was a domed enclosure that Hal told me contained a couple of telescopes — a hobby he shared with Kate. Around the outside of the sun deck was a walkway. Hal told me that just over 11 laps equaled a mile. He also mentioned it was a favorite location for the security officers to keep an eye on things.

“Just how many “security officers” do we have Hal?”

“There are always two on duty, and Jeeves of course.”

“Just exactly what is Jeeves anyway?”

Hal chuckled, “I’m still trying to figure that out. Jeeves started out as a Para-Rescue jumper in Viet Nam. After he left the service, he continued his medical studies. He became an RN and worked at Mass General for a few years, continued advancing his skill set till he became a Physician’s Assistant. Got bored with it, and went back to school. He received a second BS in justice administration and went to work as an investigator for the State Police. About 5 years ago we met. I was looking for someone to head Cendar’s security division, he wanted to enter private industry. It was a perfect fit, except, he seems to keep trying to be the perfect butler and body guard, as well as a senior corporate officer. He sometimes drives me bonkers. But I can’t imagine life without him. He has three grown children and a wife named — and don’t you dare laugh — Hermione. They live in what used to be the carriage house. Jeeves also has his security housed there. They will also join us at Dinner.”

While he talked, we took the elevator down to the third floor. Hal explained that most of the floor was the living quarters for the resident staff. We exited into the staff lounge, and Hal pointed out the Security Office in the East wing. We left the lounge, and entered a large airy room that looked out over the sun room. Against the outside wall there was a studio, and next to it a small theater — complete with reclining seats and popcorn machine in the corner. Behind the popcorn machine was a panel that moved aside to allow access to the panic room. The remainder of the West wing was an enormous conference room. Hal showed me yet another entrance into the secured corridor — the panic room, and programmed the locks to accept me. We took the stairs down to the second floor.

The second floor he explained was the “family” floor. In addition to our suite, there were eight other bedrooms and fully equipped offices for guest or family. “Currently none of the rooms are occupied. I assume you’ll want to decorate one for each of your kids.” The second floor also contained a large game room/Entertainment room with a large screen TV, pool table, foosball, air hockey and other games. There was also a well equipped snack and wet bar. “The resident staff also uses the game room when they want.”

We walked down the stairway to the Great Hall and I thought of the dramatic entrance one could make coming down those stairs.

I’d managed to find the kitchen on my own. Hal and I walked into the kitchen, and Vikki assured us the meal was going well. We walked on through, and Hal opened the door to a pool room — as in, swimming pool. It looked to be 25 yards or so long, and about half that wide. At one end there were changing rooms and exercise equipment. We walked along the pool, and I found it opened onto the sun room. Hal pointed out some of the more exotic plants as we meandered back towards his office — well my office too I suppose. Next to the office was a large library. I was grateful to discover Hal (or Kate?) read science fiction was well as other literature.

Next there was a formal dining room that one of the kitchen staff had begun to set for dinner. We ended our tour of the first floor in the “gallery.”

Now I’ve heard of houses with a gallery, but I’d never seen one. Hal and Kate’s tastes ranged from naturalistic land and seascapes to exotic science fiction motifs. I know nothing of art, but I enjoyed the paintings in the collection. I vowed to come back and spend some time just looking at them.

Hal lead me to an elevator, and we went down to the basement. We exited into a long corridor. Straight ahead Hal explained were a craft/sewing room and a metal/woodworking shop. To our right, Hal explained was an emergency shelter that could accommodate 30 people in a pinch. We went inside and I saw several rows of bunk beds. In the other direction, Hal explained that there were a server room, and medical center.

“Medical center?” I asked.

“One of your ideas actually, each Cendar Corporation office has a medical office. We provide a physician at least one day a week to do routine medical procedures and checkups. It has been a phenomenal success, one the employees love. Here, Jeeves actually does most of the work, but there is a physician on call.” He opened the door, and we went into a two room suite. One was a treatment room, very modern, very well equipped, and the other looked like a hospital room with 2 beds. “We’ve never actually had two patients at once, but it’s convenient to have the ability to monitor our people if they do get sick.” I was impressed. The beds appeared to have all the monitoring equipment you associate with an ICU. I’d seen enough with my father in the last years of his life, and this was all clearly new. “We cycle the equipment through the company, and generally sell it to hospitals every 18 months. That way, though the initial investment was steep, the ongoing costs aren’t too bad. We look for talented medical students in their last year. If they agree to work for Cendar for 5 years we to pay off their educational loans. It’s been a great investment. Our research department uses our doctors extensively, our employees get great health care, and our insurance costs are among the lowest possible — principally because we supply 90 percent of the health care ourselves.”

I learned the entire corridor could be sealed to the outside, and there was an escape passage at the end of the corridor if it ever became necessary.

“Well what do you think of your house?”

“I’m astounded. It’s incredible, but are you sure you’re not taking the defensive thing to an extreme?”

“Maybe, but I’d much rather be safe than sorry, and it’s kind of fun preparing for the bad guys.” ‘Oh no,’ I thought, ‘he thinks he’s living in a first person shooter computer game.’

“Let’s grab our coats, and I’ll show you around the grounds.” We went to the coat closet on the 1st floor, and Hal selected a Mackinaw, I chose a full length wool coat. “It’s in the 20’s,” Hal said, so I pulled on mittens and a scarf.

We stepped outside and I discovered the ground was covered in 5 or 6 inches of snow. Now, for those of you who have never ventured forth in a dress, tights, and an overcoat in an early New England winter, I want to tell you, your perceptions are really, REALLY skewed. While I was warm from somewhere above my knees, my legs were anything but comfortable. I suppose it was to some extent offset by my mittened hands. But, I had NO desire to prolong my exposure to the elements. Hal showed me where the Tennis and Basketball Court was, and started down a snow covered hill, “Hon, you really need to make the acquaintance of your horse.”

I followed, and we soon reached a large barn and stable. We entered, and I began to warm up. The barn contained the usual assortment of landscaping equipment and vehicles. I was surprised to see what looked like a brand new Humvee sitting in one corner. Hal noticed my attention, and he led me over. “More of my paranoia I’m afraid,” he said with a grin. “It’s armored, and contains a travel bag for you and me. It also contains radio and satellite communications gear.” On the wall was the familiar hand scanner and PIN pad. “The keys for the hummer are in here,” he said as he opened a small cabinet. I of course had to go through the process of entering my hand print and PIN.

We passed through the barn and entered a spacious stable complex. I don’t know anything about horses. Hal showed me around and pointed out a coal black horse with white legs that was “mine.” The horse was a monster. Hal told me it was a “shire” mare and stood 17 hands high. All I knew is the horse was taller at its shoulders than I was. “Do you really expect me to ride that beast?” I asked incredulously.

“Never ridden a horse? Don’t worry, you’ll love it.” I just shuddered. . “Do you want to walk back to the house through the snow, or would you like to take the tunnel?”

“Tunnel? What tunnel?” Hal led me back to the barn, and walked around to the back of the Humvee and Hal opened the key cabinet. Inside was an unlabeled button. Hal pressed it, and a door opened in the wall. Hal and I entered and walked down a very long stairway. At the bottom was a well lit tunnel that stretched into the distance. Hal led the way, and we walked down the tunnel, turned left and continued on. We passed a complex of rooms and finally came to a door which Hal opened, and we stepped into the basement, next to the medical office. Hal walked to the range, activated the hand scanner, and we walked through the range to the hidden door. We went through the door, turned right and walked down the corridor to the elevator, we took the elevator to the second floor, walked through the door in the closet and entered our room.

‘Amazing,’ I thought, ‘this place has more passages and secrets than an English medieval castle.’ Hal took my coat, and I sat down at the desk in the parlor. I turned on the computer, set up my accounts, and logged into e-mail to check my messages. Hal asked if I wanted lunch, and I ordered a tuna salad sandwich on toast.

While waiting on lunch, I called Linda and brought her up to speed. My mom had come over and they were just getting the turkey in the oven. The kids were excited about the possibilities of our new jobs. I told the kids about the house and grounds. Lisa nearly burst my eardrums when I told her about the stables. I hadn’t known she was so enamored with horses. Tim on the other hand couldn’t wait to use the shooting range. I gave them my love, and hung up to join Hal for lunch.

About 12:30 Annie arrived. She smiled when I met her downstairs “nice look,” she said, “very traditional for a New England Thanksgiving.” We moved her into the East Wing balcony suite on the family floor. Hal mentioned Governor Swift would arrive soon, so we went downstairs to the office.

Governor Swift, her husband Chuck Hunt and her children arrived just before 1:00. Hal asked Jane if we could meet privately for a minute. Jane agreed and Jeeves took Chuck on a tour of the grounds, while Annie took the children upstairs to the TV room. Jane, Hal and I sat down in the office.

“So what’s this all about Hal?”

“Jane, you’ve been a friend and colleague for years. I and Cendar have contributed to your political campaigns for many years. Do you notice anything different about Kate?” Hal asked; then he walked over behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

Jane looked over at me and shook her head.

“For business reasons Cendar as a company, and I personally have tried to keep something quiet. Kate died in the September 11th incident. Her body was never recovered, but there is no chance she survived.”

Jane looked shocked, “then who is this?”

“Her name was Beth Williams. We met not long ago, I couldn’t believe how much like Kate she was. Maybe it was because I was unable to accept Kate’s death, but for whatever reason, I’ve fallen in love with her. At great personal cost she has agreed to become Kate in every way possible. She has demonstrated more balls than anyone I’ve ever meet (at this I winced). She has also taken on Kate’s duties at Cendar, and performed them as well as Kate ever did.”

Jane carefully scrutinized me from head to toe. “I never would have guessed,” she said.

“Yes you would,” I corrected her. “You worked closely with Kate. You would have known something was wrong. I chose to tell you the truth. With Hal’s support for you politically I judged you had a right and a need to know the truth.”

“What do you want of me?” she asked, warily.

“Nothing really, we didn’t want you caught off guard if it ever became public knowledge. If you are willing, just treat her like Kate, our lawyers are taking care of the legal issues of transferring Kate’s identity — all legal and aboveboard. When completed, my new Kate and I will also legally wed. There will be nothing illegal about any of this. We simply wanted continuity. Jane, I love her very much”

Jane looked at me again and a sad smile played across her lips. “You may recall I had a little scandal in August? I’m not a stranger to the weirdness love can cause in our lives.”

Jane stood and walked over to where I sat, took my hands and pulled me to my feet. “So we are to be friends?” she said.

“I would like that very much. We are not telling anyone without a real need about this. I really don’t have any friends anymore,” I said.

Jane carefully sized me up, “You do now. Thank you for your trust.” Jane gave me a small hug. “Shall we go and see how the children are doing?”

“Thank you Jane, from the bottom of my heart,” said Hal and went off to find Jeeves and Chuck.

Jane and I went to the TV room to find the children. Annie and another woman had set up a playpen and two basinets. Jane introduced me to the woman as Pam Richards. “Pam is one of my regular State Police security team, and no, she wasn’t assigned baby sitter duties, she volunteered.” She walked over to the playpen and picked up a two year old, “this is Elizabeth, and the babies are Lauren and Sarah.”

Annie was holding one of the infants. She brought her over and handed her to me. I took the baby and cradled her in my arms. She was beautiful, sleeping with an angelic smile. “I had hoped to be a mother one day, but alas, I’m unable to become pregnant.”

Annie nearly choked laughing. Jane looked over at her with a quizzical expression. “Just an inside joke,” I explained. Annie was the only one present who knew I had been born male.

We chatted about the babies for a while, and then put them all down for a nap. Annie, Jane and I walked downstairs to greet the rest of our dinner guests. I asked Jane about “our” work with the Girl Scouts, telling her I would need her help as I had never been a Girl Scout. Annie again began to laugh, and I poked her in the ribs and told her to be good.

The remainder of the guests had arrived while we were upstairs. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the assorted canapés, chips, and drinks Vikki and her staff had laid out in the Great Hall.

We walked over to Hal and Chuck. Hal mentioned that he had secured a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone for after dinner entertainment. Jane asked to see the rest of the house, so we wandered around, me doing the same tour guide thingy Hal had done that morning. We wound up in the gallery, and sat talking quietly until dinner was served.

Dinner was glorious. The Ham, the Turkey, the Roast Beast were all cooked to perfection. Vikki and her staff were remarkably efficient. At the beginning of the meal they brought the Turkey to the table. Hal carved it to perfection, and then Vikki and her staff proceeded to serve the most wonderful meal of my life. Throughout the meal, the conversation returned to the political mess Massachusetts was in; particularly the problems with Logan Airport in the wake of the 911 attacks, and the big dig. Hal promised his continued support and Jane thanked him. To our disappointment, Jane told us it was her intention not to run for election as Governor the following November.

Afterwards Hal invited the assembled guests upstairs to view the new Harry Potter movie. More than one guest gasped as they realized Stevens Hall Theater had the latest Dolby Surround Sound System — all without ticket takers. Ruth, one of the kitchen staff served drinks and made popcorn.

The movie was great. It was hard not to identify with the main character. Harry had been cast into a “different lifestyle” by intolerant guardians, as I had been through freakish circumstances. Vikki served pie and ice cream, and the party gradually wound down to a round of good nights. Jane picked up the children, the rest of the politicians went home, Hal, Chuck, Jane and I wound up in the foyer. “I truly hope that everything will work out and you will remain in politics Jane,” I said.

Jane hugged me, and whispered in my ear, “and I truly hope you will be the next Kate Stevens, I haven’t seen Hal this happy in months.” Chuck, Jane and the kids left, with State Trooper escorts, and I schlepped upstairs to get ready for bed.

I removed my makeup, took a quick shower, and donned nightgown, robe and slippers while Hal was finishing up downstairs. I checked my e-mail, and called Linda and the kids. They had just finished eating dinner, and both Tim and Lisa were complaining of having to help cleanup. Linda asked how I was feeling, and I told her most of the pain was fading away, and what wasn’t was easily taken care of with the pain meds. I told her I’d try to get back home next week for a few days if possible.

I wandered down to the library, and selected an old Heinlein favorite, “I Will Fear No Evil” and returned to the bedroom. Hal arrived about the time I’d snuggled in to read for a while. It was nice to have some down time, and I had always enjoyed the writing of Robert A. Heinlein. Hal showered, climbed in his jammys and joined me in bed. After finishing the chapter I put down the book. “Can I look?” Hal asked.

“Look at what?”

“Where you had your surgery, silly,” he said.

“Why?”

“I’m curious. I’ve been wondering since last night how you look. Please?”

“I suppose.”

Hal lifted the hem of my nightgown up over my belly, and then lowered my panties. He gently spread my legs and reached out tentatively to touch me. “Tell me if it hurts at all,” he said. He leaned over for a closer look. One hand reached up to touch my breasts while the other began to tenderly stroke my new sex. He moistened his finger and began to rub the tip of my concealed penis. I involuntarily gasped as an electric shock spread through my body. “Except for no vaginal opening it looks so natural.”

He leaned closer and began to kiss it. His tongue began to drive me crazy. Then the pain began. His hands now were both fondling my breasts, while he proceeded to kiss, nibble and lick me to distraction. I had to make him stop. The sensations were exquisite, but the pain overwhelmed everything else. “Hal, you've got to stop, it hurts.”

Hal continued to touch me, and finally I reached down and grabbed him by the hair. “Hal,” I screamed, “You've got to stop!” Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar he looked up to me with a hurt little puppy dog expression on his face. I lay back on the pillows whimpering in pain.

“Hon, I'm sorry!” he said. “But you're so beautiful, it's hard to resist.”

I sighed, then pulled him into a hug. “Please just hold me,” I said. “Hold me til' the pain goes away.” I stayed that way, cradled in Hal's arms. After a while the pain subsided. It was nearly impossible to believe what had just happened. Even with the pain the pleasure was incredible.

Hal got up and finished preparing for bed. I read my book waiting for him. He came to bed, and I tucked in close to Hal. I lay there for hours wondering about what had just happened. I’d never had a relationship with a man. I had always considered myself totally and completely heterosexual. I still considered myself heterosexual. Somehow I had blurred the definitions of my own sexuality. With Linda, I would be male, exclusively monogamous. With Hal, I would be female, exclusively monogamous. I wasn’t sure how this would all play out, but, for now, Kate would be Hal’s lover and John would be Linda’s lover, and never the twain should meet — though I thought Linda would find the “modifications” would exceed her wildest dream.

November 23, 24, 25, 2001 Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

The rest of the weekend was spectacular. Hal took me on a tour of Boston and environs that was beyond belief. Friday was kind of predictable, but he had made calls that guaranteed “back stage” tours of the most important historical sites. I particularly enjoyed the tour of Park Street Church and the old burying ground. The “duck” tour used surplus WWII amphibious vehicles was a wonderful way to view Boston by land and by sea.

The only glitch in the weekend came Saturday night just before bedtime. I casually turned to Hal and asked where we attended church. Hal looked at me like I had grown a second head, “Church? I haven’t been in a church since our wedding.”

“Uh… Hal, honey, guess what? You know how many different things I’ve changed for you? This is one you are going to have to change for me. I am going to church tomorrow, and YOU are going with me.”

Hal tried to argue, but I pulled one of Linda’s favorite tactics on Hal. I simply jumped into bed, turned out my light and turned my back to him. Hal reached out to me, I flinched away from his touch. “Is it that important to you?” I nodded. “Okay, I guess it’s fair that I make some sacrifice too.”

Exacerbated, I turned over to Hal, “this is NOT a sacrifice, it’s important, and I want you to learn about a part of my life that is vital to me.” Hal sighed, and I let him pull me into an embrace. We fell asleep that way, the issue of Church unresolved, but Hal unwilling to make a fight of it.

The next morning it was a moot point as we attended a church I knew of. Grace Chapel in Lexington was a mega church. It was a large enough congregation to let Hal and I enjoy anonymity and the music and worship there were excellent.

We spent the remainder of Sunday just driving around.

Monday, November 26, 2001

Monday loomed large on my horizon. I woke early, brushed the fallen hairs from my bed, and took a shower. I dressed conservatively and did my makeup carefully, prepared for any eventuality. I dressed in an exquisitely soft sweater and jumper. I went downstairs, and Vikki had my oatmeal, fruit, 7 Grain toast, and 2 slices of bacon ready. Annie and Hal joined me about 7:15. A quick kiss and he sat down to bacon and eggs, hash browns and toast. I continued to drink Orange Juice while Hal pigged out.

7:30 Jeeves came in and announced the car was ready. Little did I know, my adventure had just begun….

They say that everyone has a twin somewhere. What happens when your twin is dead, as well as being a lady. The following story is fiction, more or less. Enjoy.

This series began a couple of years ago, and like many I set it down unfinished, uncompleted. The original Title was Comdex, Clothing, and Confusion. The first few chapters are rewrites.
Comdex — Prelude to Change
Copyright 2003/8 Beth Williams

Comdex 3 Prelude to Memories
Beth Williams
Copyright 2003/8
------------------------
I would like to thank ALL the comments on my first story, both here and via e-mail. 'Course I'd always like to have more! I will take the criticisms to heart. I may not agree, but I will keep them in mind.

For one reader in particular, I would like to add the following: Yes, I understand that few men are "passable." However, I typically spend 2 or 3 weeks a year "en femme."

Much of the story is autobiographical. I am indeed 375 pounds and 6' tall. I am a computer geek. I am and have been deeply involved in business. I am an ex cop.

To date, I have never been read; I have been shopping at Catherine's, the Avenue, Nordstrom's, Macy's and Lane Bryant — even trying on clothes. I have attended church as Beth. I have had a manicure and pedicure at "La Belle" day spa in San Jose without comment. One year in Phoenix I actually spent the day being pampered at a day spa. When, my esthetition, a pregnant twenty something named Shana (pronounced like “banana”) came in to do my waxing, I had not yet removed any clothes. I told her who (or what, LOL) I was, and she then spent the day talking to and responding to me as a woman. It was totally delightful, before the end of the day she was giving me tips on how to handle pick-ups. I told her there was NO way that would happen! Shana gave me a look like, “are you brainless,” and mentioned there were many men who liked larger women. It was surreal.

My wife (who is almost as supportive in real life as she is in the story) has accompanied me all over. Los Angeles, Disneyland, The Bay Area, and gambling in Lake Tahoe and Reno, all were destinations we've enjoyed.

And, for those skeptics, on Halloween, several years ago, I purchased Enfamil (baby formula) en femme, late one evening - after a day as Beth. The checker was a friend - who did NOT recognize me until prompted. Later she told me that as I left the supermarket, the manager on duty remarked how sad it was that a woman so "pretty" was so LARGE.

My friend told the manager, "that's no woman, that's a man!" The manager didn't believe her. Three days later, I entered the store, only to have her yell, across the concourse, "There She is, THAT's the one I told you about!" The manager turned beet red and would not look me in the eye.... Not even years later...

So... the moral of the story is this: Yes, transgendered men who have not yet started transitioning (especially tall, middle aged, fat men!) are rather lacking in their presentation, yet, there are some, like me, who for whatever reason transcend the ordinary, and achieve the sublime.... That has been my fortunate experience - and I will frankly admit, I don't fully understand how or why. I just give thanks for it.

Thanks for the comments. I truly appreciate the feedback.
Beth

Note: While this may be biographical, most names have been changed to protect the guilty….. 

Monday, November 26, 2001

Was it only two weeks? My life had been turned upside down, inside out (or outside in), and molded into something I no longer was sure I recognized. All I knew for sure was to shut up, sit down, and hang on to the ride of my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked Hal about the agenda for the day. “Well, I thought Annie might show you around and maybe help with leasing cars for the two of you. What do you fancy in a car?”

“I don’t know, maybe a Passat?” I replied.

Hal looked over his morning paper, “a Passat? Don’t you think you should get something, I don’t know, sportier? I was thinking maybe a BMW or a Jag.”

“Hon, you gotta remember, I have to fit in the damn thing. Volkswagen’s have more room than most cars.”

“Well, would you at least look at the BMW?” He asked.

Then I began to better understand something about Hal. He truly did not view money the way normal people do. It had become simply another way of counting points in the game of life. Money was less important than projecting the proper image; ultimately image was worth more “points.”

“Okay, okay, but does that include Annie too?”

“Of course. But try to do it early, I was hoping you might make it to the office around lunch time,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me and gave me his infuriating smile, “and maybe I can show you around our apartment.”

Great, fast cars, fine wine, and loose women (and probable sex) on my first day at work - I hoped I’d survive the process. I hadn’t told Hal, but while his attempted lovemaking technique was great, at first, it had caused pain where the surgeries had not yet healed — and it was not until this morning that I realized just how tender my wounds actually were.

Hal came around the table, gave me a quick kiss, and headed out the door. “Jeeves, will you drive Kate and Annie this morning?” He asked.

“But of course Mister Stevens,” was the inevitable reply.

I wandered about the house (HOUSE?) until it was time to go. It was a crisp, snowy late fall day. I enjoyed the scenery as Jeeves drove us to BMW of Peabody.

It was comical, really. When we arrived, Jeeves opened the doors for Annie and me. The sales manager smiled at Annie and me, then turned to Jeeves to begin his presentation. Annie and I were ignored as the presentation was directed at Jeeves. Jeeves interrupted and deferred to me. The sales manager changed tack. He began speaking about the interior and amenities. He stressed the fine Bavarian workmanship, and the careful detailing of the walnut burl accent pieces. I started asking performance questions. He continued talking about available colors and fabrics while, I was looking under the hood. He could not get out of the mindset that a woman could possibly examine or even be interested in the technical aspects of a new car — especially not a woman who could afford a BMW. After his patronizing presentation, I slipped into ditz mode and told him thanks, but no thanks. I turned to Annie and began talking about the New Beetle and how I really thought I’d prefer one of those cute cars — you know the kind with the flower vase. “Does your car have a flower vase?,” I asked with my most ditzy and vapid expression. “But I can’t make up my mind whether to get the green, or the blue,” I told Annie. I told the salesman that I thought I preferred the economy of the diesel, but liked the wider availability of the gas engine. Besides, the diesel was stinky.

It was priceless; he suddenly realized a sale was going to slip through his fingers and we began walking towards the door. He began to stutter, and stammer.

Then I switched to rich bitch mode, and asked "Did he know the specifications on his cars or was he going to continue to waste my time talking about the appearance!"

His mouth snapped shut. I really did want a new Beetle — I liked the one I’d purchased for Lisa, instead after he decided to answer my questions, I wound up purchasing a car that I knew would please Hal. An Oxford Green M5 with all the bells and whistles. The acceleration and power curve were incredible. It really was more car than I wanted, but I decided to make the “sacrifice” for Hal — some sacrifice….

Needless to say, Annie was more than happy to follow suit — in her case in topaz blue. Cendar had a corporate account, and the paperwork was easily taken care of. Jeeves left Annie and me to our new toys. We left the dealer and traveled to the office; and never once did we exceed the speed limit — NOT!

Cendar’s main office complex is in Burlington. The drive took about 25 minutes. We pulled into a parking lot in front of a modern looking glass and steel 5 story building. Annie mentioned we’d have reserved spaces, probably by tomorrow. Of all that had happened today, I think that was the most impressive. Annie and I entered the building. The first thing I noticed was the security desk manned by two armed and uniformed guards. Annie placed her hand on a scanner, and the guards verified her identity. “Good morning Mrs. Stevens,” one said as he electronically opened the door. We trooped through the entry way, and took an elevator to the fifth floor. Annie led the way to “my” office.

In the outer office Abbey was packing her personal effects. Her eyes were misty and I realized I had screwed up. I smiled, gave her a hug, and explained to her, “Thank you for be willing to relocate. Linda is REALLY going to need your help. You do know that this is a promotion, don’t you?”

“A promotion?” she asked.

I explained, You will be heading up the HR department for me in California. There would also be an accountant/comptroller from the office going with her. Do you have any suggestions?"

She asked, "Can George Minnelli could be spared.

I had not a clue. I turned to Annie, she gave me a minimal nod, "That might be possible."

So, in making things better for Abbey, I had inadvertently filled another spot on the California management team. Things were coming together; Linda would have Liz Rodriguez, Abbey, and George Minnelli. Additional staff could be hired out of the California office.

I went into my office, and closed the door. I just wanted to explore for a bit. There were three doors. The one from reception, one into Abbey’s — now Annie’s office, and one into what proved to be a private suite, a combination bedroom, lounge and bathroom. This room opened into Hal’s office. There was a closet, which contained several changes of clothes, and the inevitable hand scanner and PIN pad. Looking closer, I discovered that the entire room was reinforced, armored, and I presumed there was a “secret passage” out of there.

Returning to my office, I sat down at my desk; it was a magnificent oak desk with a return on the left side containing a large flat LCD screen. The left hand drawer contained a heavy leather bound journal. I opened it, and found Kate’s diary, written in a neat precise cursive script. The first date was March 1, 2001; the last date was September 10th 2001. I set the journal aside, and continued my explorations. It was hard to escape the sensation of a ghost hanging around. Everywhere I looked, I saw myself, and knew, it was actually Kate. It nearly unnerved me. At the estate, all the miscellaneous personal possessions, like makeup, or even a tooth brush had all been either mine, or brand new. Here, it was almost as if Hal had preserved it intact from when Kate was last here. Nothing seemed to have been touched. I opened the thin central drawer and found the usual debris found in all desk drawers; a tube of lipstick (honey rose), a bottle of hand lotion, half a pack of Trident gum, it was beginning to really depress me.

I turned to the credenza behind the desk. There were pictures of Hal and Kate, Kate and what I believed were her parents, and Kate with Hal and two twin little girls. The later was framed in black. In the cabinet of the credenza were picture albums. On the bookcases in the office were a series of awards, trophies, and pictures. Kate’s version of an “I love Me” wall. I was struck with a sense of her humility. The awards were, if anything understated. The emphasis seemed to be on her humanitarian activities.

I called Annie, and asked who the little girls were. She looked at me in total incomprehension, shock, and grief. “You know, it’s so easy to forget around you. I suppose, like Hal, I look at you and forget reality. Those little girls were Kate’s babies. They died 10 years ago, an accident while the nanny was taking them on an outing.” She began to sob, “they would have been 14 next February.” I reached out to pull her into a hug, but Annie backed away, “don’t you dare touch me!” She screeched.

“Annie, what can I do?”

“Nothing,” she spat at me. “Just leave me alone!.” She left and returned to her office, slamming the door behind her.

Confused and more than a little hurt I resumed my explorations, I opened the first file drawer; it seemed to contain mostly personal files. I found files like “birthdays,” “anniversary’s,” “stocks,” “properties,” and documents relating to Kate’s personal accounts .

The second file drawer contained what were clearly Kate’s “work” files. Meticulously organized, the files were labeled “immediate,” “30 days,” “60 days,” “90 days,” “six months,” “nine months,” “one year,” “two years,” and “undefined future projects.” There were also files relating to specific projects. Several stood out in my mind. These included; “employee education,” “children’s education,” “internal medical benefits,” “hiring goals,” “Yenta,” “health and retirement,” and “Gowns R Us.”

Intrigued, I pulled the “Yenta” file and began to read it. Inside Kate had detailed the romances arranged by her. There was a joy expressed in the writing, truly she found this to be an exciting hobby — one that benefited the company to be sure, but still a hobby.

I resolved to spend much time studying these files over the next few days. I called Abbey in and asked her for an organizational chart, and she returned half an hour later.

Annie entered with Abbey and with no hint of her earlier grief started to explain the organization of Cendar. “There are four major business units. The first was our core business in the early years. Cendar Software has specialized in developing database products for the last 20 years. Our forte has been developing products that integrate different hardware platforms. In the last 5 years or so we have been developing our professional services division; there is a tremendous market integrating various software packages and databases into a common unified whole..

The second division is Cendar Security. Security focuses on developing strategies and techniques to insure the integrity of computer systems. This covers everything from physical security to disaster recovery. Currently we have five of our seven field teams in New York working on systems recovery. They are projected to stay in New York for at least the next six months. The other two teams are in training while on standby. Each team has it's own equipment trailer that doubles as a server farm and clean room.

The third division is mine,” she smiled, “Cendar clothing is the division organized to exploit the heuristic programs we've developed to create individual patterns for women’s clothing — though I believe we will be expanding to men’s and children’s clothing soon. Projections of revenue are staggering.

Finally, the division you have done the most to create. Cendar Medical is basically a research and development organization at this time. There are two principal products under exploration. The first is a diagnostic software program. It is designed to take the medical test information that a general practitioner would look at and provide a diagnosis of the patient’s condition. The basic model is complete and is being tested in parallel with doctors throughout New England. We have letters of intent from the Defense Department and from the World Health Organization to purchase the package once it is certified by the FDA.

The military is interested in using it to upgrade the medical services a corpsman can provide, while the WHO is interested in using it in third world countries. The second product is a suite of remote telemetry devices that are designed to work with the software, but also to stand alone. The first level of instruments provides: blood pressure, respiration, heart rate, basal temperature, and basic blood workups. A second level of instrumentation is designed to work with a trained technician. At that level the instruments provide additional tests, such as blood gases, chest or limb x-ray, lung volume, and a complete blood chemistry analysis.

We’re betting that with this information, a single physician/technician can review and treat 5 to 10 times the number of patients a physician can currently accommodate. The results will be lower medical costs, greater diagnostic accuracy, and broader access to health care in underdeveloped countries.”

As Annie finished her presentation Hal entered and asked if we were ready for lunch. He escorted Annie, Abbey and I to the 4th floor cafeteria. The food was not your typical “cafeteria” food. There were no prices, and a large selection of both grill and hot entrees. I thoroughly enjoyed the chicken continental cordon bleu.

“Hal, you know it’s going to take some time to get up to speed here don’t you?” I asked.

“Well, actually, I hadn’t thought too much of it,” he replied. “After your performance at Comdex, I assumed you would be able to hit the ground running.”

“I plan to do just that, it’s just there is so much to learn. And there’s so much I’ve already started. I expect to return to California this week, along with Annie and Abbey to work on the new offices. Then there’s the entire month of December and the holiday’s to prepare for.” With a smile I said, “God forbid that you as a man could help with that.”

Hal flinched at that comment. “Okay, I can see that, what are you suggesting?”

“I thought I’d spend the rest of today gathering files I’ll need to understand my role and function in Cendar. Then after work, I want to sit down with Vikki and discuss the holidays.”

Hal interrupted, “you should also probably get Hermione involved.”

“Oh? I suppose that would be okay, why?”

“Ahh… even I keep forgetting. Hermione is our interior decorator, and she has quite a private practice. She makes more in a year than Jeeves.”

“Fantastic, that would work out great, ‘cause I also want to get started on rooms for my kids and Linda. There’s all those empty bedroom suites on the second floor. And, do you suppose we should offer to take in the Mooney’s and their kids until they find a place?”

“Kate, are you sure you’re up to that many people?” Hal asked.

“Oh sure, I love the holidays! The more the merrier!”

“In that case, why don’t you invite your young lovebirds also?” He asked.

“Oh my, what a wicked idea,” I giggled at the thought. “On the other hand it just might be what two socially clumsy nerds need to get things started on the right foot.”

“Okay, planning tonight, calls tomorrow, and shopping tomorrow for the kids rooms. Then on Wednesday, I’ll fly out to California, we’ll finalize the organization, by the way, Abbey suggested George Minnelli for the finance slot, do you have any suggestions?”

“No, George is due for a promotion. He’s a bit young, but should be a good choice. Abbey suggested it?” He asked, leering at her, and he began humming “Matchmaker, Matchmaker….”

Abbey of course blushed from head to toe. I smacked Hal with a magazine. “Hey, you leave her alone! She works for me not you!” Everyone laughed as Hal is a creditable job of genuflecting toward me. “Please to be forgiving of your humble servant,” he said. The table laughed, and there was nothing I could do except to forgive him.

Annie changed the subject by talking about the new cars. Hal just had to go see them, so we all trekked down to the parking lot. Annie asked if Hal could pick which belonged to her, and which one was mine.

Without hesitation, Hal pointed to the blue one, “that has got to be Annie’s,” he said.

Annie clapped her hands, “right on the money Hal!” He walked over, crunching through the rapidly melting snow, and began looking at my green car, nodding approvingly at the “extras” I had selected. “So, you’ll be gone from Wednesday till when?”

“I thought I’d try to be back by the middle or end of next week, why?”

“Oh, not much, just some custom items I wanted to add to your car.”

“Hal what are you thinking,?” I asked suspiciously.

“Just let me surprise you this once,” he said.

I shuddered thinking about what he might be up to. “Okay, but try to keep it reasonable, puhleezeee, I wheedled. “I don't need a car that flies. This one will do just nice the way it is.”

Hal laughed, “just you wait my pretty!” He said in his best wicked witch voice.

We returned to the office, I gathered up the diary and project files and placed them in my briefcase. I also gathered up the initial briefing books Hal had provided. I asked Abbey to make the calls to the Mooney’s, Hiram, and Janey. Then requested she set up a meeting with George, herself, Abbey and me for early the next morning.

As I gathered up my homework, Annie told me there was a call for me. I had no idea who it was, she forwarded the call and I picked it up. “This is Kate Stevens, how can I help you.”

“Beth,? It's Sue Collins from Comdex. Is that really you?”

“Hello Sue, no THIS IS KATE, I hope you enjoyed the dinner reception. Please don't call me Beth. Beth has become part of Cendar, and It's KATE you're talking to.”

“Oh wow!” she said. “Girl you could fall in a sewer and come up with diamonds!”

“Well, I will admit it has been an interesting time since Comdex. Why don't you plan on coming over for lunch tomorrow?”

“Oh, I don't want to intrude, I just wanted to see how you are doing.”

“ I'm doing well. You won't be intruding, we'll eat lunch in the cafeteria. You won't believe the food they serve there! Please say you will? I thing Hal and I should talk with you face to face.”

“Well, I guess I can get away for lunch. Thanks!”

“It will be good to see you. Bye!”

Thanks, I'll see you tomorrow.”

I finished, then picking up my homework and called to see if Annie was ready to leave.

Annie was, and I asked her to lead the way, and we returned to the estate. I was still afraid I'd get lost, having Annie lead made me feel more comfortable.

Vikki and Hermione were glad to meet and plan the Holidays. We decided the estate should have a Curier and Ives look for the holidays — very traditional, very Victorian. We selected Friday the 21st as the date for the senior management Christmas party, and Saturday the 22nd for an employee open house. I asked for carolers and musicians a la Dickens, and they assured me it would be no problem.

I think I caught both of them by surprise when I asked that bedrooms be prepared. But they were TOTALLY flabbergasted when I gave them the list. There was: 1 for the Mooney’s, 1 for their daughters, and 1 for their son; 1 for Hiram, and 1 for Janie; 1 for Tim and 1 for Lisa, and 1 for Linda.

I told Hermione that Tim, Lisa and Linda would be visiting frequently. They were relatives from California that I had been staying with since September. I told her it was important to Hal and to me that they be treated special. I suggested they try for something appropriate to each, and mentioned Tim was into computers, science, and technology; and Lisa was into medieval life, in fact had joined S.C.A. the previous year. Hermione’s eyes lit up at the thought of a teenage girl’s renaissance bedroom, and I quickly let her take over.

After a brief dinner, I retired upstairs, and I crawled into my jammies and called Linda. Now here’s something funny. After many years of longing to be a woman, and wearing a nightgown whenever possible, I found my pajamas more desirable than the silk nightgowns folded in my drawers. Maybe it was the pain from the surgeries — and a desire to avoid any “romantic” activities, but I don’t know. I asked Linda about it, and predictably, she just laughed. “Now you understand why I varied what I wore to bed. Sometimes I wanted to be sexy, sometimes cuddly, and sometimes just to be comfortable. You’re learning something every woman knows. Clothes DO make a difference, and all but the densest of men understand those differences without thinking about it!” We spoke of other things; the kids finishing up for the winter holidays, spending Christmas in New England, my new car, and Annie’s strange reaction. After a few endearments, I told her goodnight, and then curled up with my Heinlein book, and meds, I mentally kicked myself, I still hadn't looked up the second scrip. Hal came to bed late, Soon I was asleep.

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

I woke early, showered, and tried to decide what to wear for the day. When you have a closet full of clothes and accessories — all of which fit superbly — it can be a daunting task; especially to one who has never had that many clothes before. I finally chose a nice black wool suit over a pale pink silk blouse. Black low heel pumps, diamond stud earrings and a black Hermes Birkin bag pulled together the look I wanted to project. I grabbed my coat and a black Hermes pashmina scarf and headed out the door.

I drove myself to the office, and met with Annie, Abbey, Hal and George. I suggested using Cal Fed as the bank for California operations, and reserved the plane for the following day. Abbey informed me the Mooney’s, Hiram, and Janie would all be glad to stay at the estate, and would all be arriving on or about the 15th. With that I concluded the meeting. Annie asked if she could talk to me. We went into my office, and shut the doors.

“Beth, I’m sorry about yesterday,” she explained, “what I didn’t say was my mother was the nanny. Kate and Hal became my surrogate parents — my father died when I was little. Kate comforted me while I comforted her. Hal and Kate took me in and raised me from the time I was 13. It is just so easy to mix you and her up. You are so like her it hurts. Yesterday, you were just Kate, and when you broke that image asking about the twins, I felt like I had lost her all over again.” Annie began to sob quietly.

“Annie, you know I never wanted this. I’ve come to respect Kate in ways I’ll never be able to explain. I’m also finding it difficult to live in the shadow of her ghost. I’ll never replace her in your heart, but maybe I’ll earn a place there on my own?”

I held my arms out slightly, and this time Annie came to me, and laid her head on my shoulder. She let out her grief with deep heaving sobs, while I softly whispered encouragements in her ear. I just held her, “She loved you so much, you know that don’t you?” I asked. Annie just nodded. I suppose we sat there for the best part of an hour. Annie had never come to grips with her loss.

Finally, she came up for air, “You truly are like her you know. You’ve such a motherly attitude. I can’t believe how tender you are. You’ve done it again. You know when to be quiet, and when to let me have some space. Are you sure you’re not really Kate?” She asked with a quizzical half grin.

“Honey, I’m sure, and I have the t-shirt to prove it.”

Annie looked at me strangely.

“Yep, my kids got it for me, “World’s Best Dad” is what it says; I can guarantee no one would have given the original Kate that shirt.” My poor attempt at humor seemed to work, Annie collapsed in a fit of giggles until I shooed her out of the office.

Midmorning I asked Hal to join me. I explained there might be a problem with Sue. I didn't know her well enough to know if she was trying to set me up for blackmailing, or if she considered herself a friend and just wanted to get together. Hal cleared his calendar until mid afternoon, and we discussed the various options.

Right at 12:00 I got a call from the visitor's desk informing me my lunch date was here. I asked that she be escorted to the cafeteria, Hal and I walked hand in hand to the cafeteria where Sue awaited us.

Sue could not help but notice our small display of affection, and I greeted her warmly. “Hi Sue, I'm glad you could make it. I know you were introduced to him before, but may I present my husband Hal?”

Sue would have had to be dense to miss the relationship between Hal and I. “I'm pleased to see you again Mr. Stevens,” Sue said. “I was just admiring the food when you folks walked in. Is this how you eat everyday?”

Hal laughed. “We try to take good care of our employees and friends. Perhaps Kate can give you a tour after lunch. Show you the game room, the library and other perks.”

“I'd love that.”

We went through the line, exchanging pleasantries while selecting our lunches. Hal selected the stroganoff, Sue tried the grilled Tri-Tip, and I had Ham and Cheese on toast. We sat down in a isolated corner, primarily to avoid being interrupted. Any time Hal or I ate in the cafeteria, we were open to anyone for lunch.

After finishing the main dish, Hal bluntly said to Sue. “I hope you've enjoyed your lunch, I can't help but wonder about your motives. You see, you are the only one we haven't accounted for that knows Beth and Kate are one and the same. We asked you here because no recorder will function here. This table is electronically screened, so feel free to speak honestly."

Sue sat back in her chair. “You're kidding me. You mean to say that of all the people who have known Beth that I'm the ONLY one who knows she has become Kate?"

I replied, “That's the way it is. So you see, you could cause enormous trouble for me and Cendar.”

“Hey guys, I'm not interested in doing that! I just wanted to see how 'Kate' was doing. We had a great time at the beginning of Comdex, and I just wanted to see how my friend was doing. I mean you've GOT to admit it's an incredible story. Kind of like the Prince and the Pauper.”

“I know,” I said. “The only trouble is if someone manages to link Beth to Kate it could result in trouble, BIG trouble for us.”

“But what about Beth's family and friends?” Sue asked.

“It's all been taken care of,” Hal replied. Legally, Beth and Kate are one and the same person. No one except myself could prove otherwise. We've covered our tracks legally, and everything has been done within the scope of the law. In fact, I'm willing to wager $1 you can't find any trace of Linda Beth Williams at all. Kate and I were thorough, and family was without exception excited for the opportunity this affords Kate her SO, and her kids. The question for me remains, what do we do about you?”

“Hal, relax hon, Sue wouldn't dream of doing anything harmful to me, would you?”

Sue's expression showed she had been frightened by Hal's words. I reached out and took her hands in mine. “Relax, he doesn't really bite, Hal is just being overprotective of me. How are you doing? Are classes back in session yet?"

Tension remained hovering over the table. I determined the tension must cease, and whisked Sue away from Hal's pointed interrogation.

I took her on a brief tour of the buildings, showing off the employee perks. We went through the medical suite and I told her about the on-site care, Next we roamed through the employee break room/game room with it's foosball, pinball, arcade and air hockey table. She went somewhat gah-gah over the in-house preschool/babysitting center. We wound up back in the cafeteria, and grabbed ice cream for desert (actually they were banana splits) and sat back down.

“So, what to you think of Cendar now,” I said.

“It's like a flipping Disneyland for the workers. I'm jealous. Let me know if you ever have an opening I could fill.”

“We try hard to make things enjoyable for the staff.” Listen, could you come to our open house on the 21st?” Sue agreed, and excused herself, she had to get back to work.

I spent the rest of the day shopping for the kids; I wanted everything in place for when I returned. Fortunately there is a large shopping mall in Burlington, featuring Filenes, Macy’s and Sears. I know for Tim, the important things were electronic; X-box, TV, computer, etc…. For Lisa, I knew her main concern would be a telephone that could be used to talk to friends in California. That, and of course, clothes.

I arrived at home a bit after 4:30 in the afternoon. Hal wasn’t home yet, so I slipped upstairs. The pain in my groin and boobs had faded to a dull ache. I thought I might do a light workout. It was my monthly, “I’m going to start losing weight!” promise to myself along with a commitment to exercise. I knew I probably wouldn’t carry through for more than a day or two, but at the time I felt virtuous about it. I changed into a one piece bathing suit, slipped on some sweats and flip-flops, pulled my hair back in a pony tail, grabbed a towel and some undies and headed for the pool.

In the hall, I ran into Annie, and she offered to join me. I waited as she quickly changed. We went downstairs and entered the gym/pool area. Annie cranked up some seventies oldies music, and I began to stretch. When I pulled off the sweats Annie turned to me, and her eyes bugged out.

“Oh my God,” she cried, pointing to my flat groin, “where did it go? And where did those come from?” She asked, pointing at my chest.

I struck a pose. The classic hand on the hip, one leg slightly in front of the other, and knee bent, “Eve in the Garden” pose. “You like?” I asked.

Annie just stood there. She blinked 2 or 3 times. I began to chuckle.

“How? When?” she finally stuttered.

“Before I left California,” I answered. “I knew there would be times like this when anything less than this would be a liability. Now, are we going to swim, or are you going to stare some more?”

“Don’t be angry, but can I see? I really can’t believe my eyes. You remember at Comdex? You showed me then. Please!”

“Maybe after some exercise,” I said, and jumped into the pool. Years before, I’d spent 3 weeks at a health resort called the Lifestyle Center of America in, believe it or not, Sulfur Oklahoma. I learned some intensive water aerobics — which I never used again. So, for the next 30 minutes, I worked against the water to the beat of the music.

Afterwards, we showered in the changing room, and I honored her request — telling her I’d show her mine if she showed me hers. Boy did I make a mistake. Annie was gorgeous in her birthday suit. I’m not sure which of us stared at the other harder. It was an amazingly strange experience. I was getting excited, yet there was no trace of my manhood — the valve wasn’t closed. It was kind of like an indefinable itch. I knew I needed and wanted to do something, but there was nothing I could do. Annie, for her part, insisted on showing me how to do a breast self exam — or at least that is what she claimed. In any case, she became intimately acquainted with my breasts. Déjá  vu… “They feel so natural!” she said. With the hot water streaming down she bent her head and gently kissed the right one (actually, I don’t think there could be a “wrong” one!).

My breathing was becoming irregular. “Uh, Annie, please!” I gasped. I reached out and pulled her into a hug. Her right hand slipped down and touched me, exploring the new places between my legs. She looked up and kissed me. I had one hand rubbing her back and the other caressing her breasts. My brain refused to function and I pulled her closer to me. Annie loved it and began rubbing her leg between mine.

One hand played with my breasts, and the other she wrapped around my neck, pulling my head closer to hers. I didn’t know what to do. ‘Think’ I told myself. ‘What’s wrong with this picture?’ Her tongue explored my mouth. I knew there was something wrong, but the feelings coursing through my body were drowning out any rational thought. All I could hear was deep passionate moaning, and I couldn’t tell if it was Annie or me. Desperately I examined the memory registers of my brain looking for an answer. ‘Cold,’ I thought, and that one single thought brought action and saved me from myself. I reached out and turned the hot water off, leaving the two of us in a stream of cold water.

Immediately, my brain rebooted. I jumped back as if poked with a cattle prod. “Oh jeez, Annie I’m sorry!”

Annie looked back at me, “No, I’m the one who started it. Oh my gosh! I want you Beth.” At least it was Beth and NOT Kate she wanted. She reached out and turned the water off. I began to back away, Annie stalking after me with a feline grace and a determination I’d never seen before.

“Annie, please,” I continued to back away. “You’ve got me really excited,” she continued to advance. “I want you too, but I can’t.” I bumped into the wall. “I’m already “married” to two people, and I absolutely love my wife.” Annie pressed up against me. “I’ve never been unfaithful,” I moaned as she flowed against me, shutting off my protests by kissing me. I was lost. My brain went into overload, and the memory registers came up empty this time.

“Kate, I’m home!” Hal called from the gym as I heard the door close behind him. Annie jumped back.

My brain again rebooted. “Annie and I are changing,” I called back to Hal, profoundly grateful for his interruption.

“I’m not done with this,” she whispered in my ear then wrapped a towel about her body and flounced out. I quickly toweled off and slipped into my sweats.

“We were just finishing up after a swim,” I told Hal. “How was your day?”

“I spent the day finalizing the banking relationships for the west coast office. They will be expecting you sometime tomorrow,” he explained. “How come you’re so flushed?”

With that, I realized, I was blushing from the top of my towel to the top of my head. “Just the really hot shower,” I replied, watching Annie make suggestive motions behind Hal’s back.

Hal and I went upstairs, and I practically threw myself at him. I was horny, and I needed relief. He was incredibly tender and gentle, and had me pleading for him before he finally made love to me. It was wonderful, my incisions hurt SO good, it was not enough.

Afterwards, we discussed my impending trip, and had a quiet dinner sent up. I called Linda and told her when we would arrive, chatted with the kids, and gave them all my love.

I slipped into a black baby doll nightie with matching panty (and I didn’t even know they made them for fat chicks!), brushed my hair and teeth, spritzed a bit of perfume, and crawled into bed while Hal took a shower. I was reading my book when he came in. I pulled back the covers, and gave him my best “come hither” look. He needed no more encouragement, and I could see by his reaction he was ready to “perform” again. I was still really horny. He came to bed, and satisfied my needs. In the early hours of the morning I finally fell asleep, and passed the night in pleasant dreams.

Wednesday November 28, 2001

I woke up nestled against Hal. There was something strangely comforting in that. Part of it I’m sure came from my childhood. I’d wake up early on Saturday morning, and snuggle in with my parents. Hal’s smell reminded me of my dead father. It was a good feeling.

There were fewer hairs on the bed, and I showered and dressed casually. Annie was ready downstairs, and after a quick breakfast Jeeves took us to the airport. Abbey and George met us there and by 8:30 we were airborne. It was my first time in this aircraft; it was the Boeing business jet. Hal had really gone overboard with this one. There was a spacious lounge with reclining chairs that doubled as beds; a private bedroom — complete with a queen size bed and a bathroom with a shower; there was a crew rest area and galley. The “common” area bathroom was also equipped with a shower. Throughout the cabin the décor was hand rubbed maple and chocolate colored leather on a beige carpet.

After takeoff, I stole away to the bedroom, locked the door against Annie, and took a nap. We arrived about 10:30, and Linda was there to meet us. I left Annie, Abbey, and George with Liz; we agreed to meet about 2:00 at the Temecula branch of Cal Fed, and Linda and I went home.

“Well Miss Alice, how’s life on the other side of the looking glass?” Linda teased. I just groaned.

“I’ll tell you this, it’s anything but boring. Hal is crazy, Abbey is in love, Annie is completely confused, and I’m in love.”

“With who?” Linda asked.

“Why you of course,” I replied. “I really hope you like your present.”

“Present? What present?”

“Just get me home so I can show you,” was my enigmatic reply.

When we got home, I kicked off my pumps, and went up to our bedroom, dropping clothes along the way. “Are you horny already?” Linda smiled and started shucking clothes as fast as she could follow me.

“Babe, you’ve NO idea just how much I need you right now. Hal is gentle and tender, but it’s NOT what I’ve craved.” By the time I’d reached the bedroom I was down to bra, nylons, purse and panties. By the time Linda reached the bedroom, she was nude, and her nipples were already hard — a sure sign she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I reached in my purse and brought out a gold foil wrapped box. I handed her the box and removed the last of my clothes. Linda stared at me in fascination. “I remember it looking natural, but girl you could pose nude and no one would know!”

“Uh huh, open your gift you ditz!” I laughed. Linda opened the box and removed what looked like a remote lock fob for a car. There were two buttons; one was marked ‘open,’ and other marked ‘close.’ Linda joined me on the bed and we snuggled.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“Yep, I haven’t tried it yet; I wanted that pleasure to be all yours.” I replied while nipple nibbling.

Linda started giggling. She pushed me back, and spread my legs to get a better look. “I want you to give me a countdown,” she said.

“A countdown?” I asked. Do you remember I mentioned she has a strange sense of humor?

“Oh yes, I want a countdown before I launch your new toy.”

I sighed, she would get her way, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,” Linda pushed the button and cried “we have ignition!”

Now I have to tell you, it was another strange sensation. Dr. Wells had informed me the elastic nature of genital tissue would keep everything tucked in, and unnoticed in the flaccid state. When Linda pushed the ‘close’ button, my poor abused manhood came bursting out on the scene as Linda cried, “We have liftoff!!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I swear, with the valve installed, it seemed an inch or two longer, and was extremely rigid. Linda clapped her hands in delight, and we proceeded to make love. It was the most satisfying experience in my life; to be able to remain “at attention” until Linda was completely satiated and spent, moaning and begging me to stop — but only after 3 or 4 orgasms. Me? I was content with one, and overjoyed with the second 15 minutes later. Linda turned out to be correct. With my body changes, I truly was multi-orgasmic.

We kind of melted into a puddle on the bed. Linda opened the valve and we snuggled through the lunch hour. Neither of us was very hungry, both of us were satisfied, and I cried for joy in my love’s arms. We showered, tucked my penis back into its hiding place, dressed, and took off for the bank.

Liz and George had the paperwork in place, and all we really needed to do was fill in the signature cards. The whole group trouped over to the temporary offices Linda had organized. She wanted to move quickly on a permanent location. Since this really was Linda’s operation, I sat back and watched. Liz had prepared the contracts to purchase the Temecula property, and with the bank on board, we were able to complete the deal, insisting on a short escrow, and immediate occupancy. Linda then asked Annie to prepare a time-line for setting up the manufacturing facilities. Liz, Abbey, and George were tasked with taking the business plan from an outline to a detailed implementation schedule.

I arranged for a block of rooms in the Riverside Marriott. The Riverside Marriott has business suites that provide all the necessary amenities, including high speed internet access, and room service. One would be my pied-a-Terra as Kate while on the West Coast. I called and asked the plane steward to arrange for everyone’s luggage to be transported to the Hotel.

I called a cab, and ran an errand of my own — Hall wasn’t the only one who liked surprises! I arrived back at the office about 4:30. Everyone was getting ready to pack it in for the day (it was by some of our body clocks 7:30 pm). I distributed room assignments, and keys.

Annie recognized the key right away — she had one just like it in her purse. “While you all were busy getting organized, I thought I’d arrange transportation. Would you all follow me?”

I led lead them out to the parking lot. “I figured it would be easier if everyone was, to use Hal’s terms ‘adequately equipped’ so I arranged several leases this afternoon.”

There in the parking lot were 6 BMW M5s. There was; an Oxford green for me, a Topaz Blue for Annie, Silver for Liz, black for George, white for Abbey, and a deep luscious red for Linda. The looks on their faces were priceless. We drove in procession to the Marriott; I changed back to John, left the M5 in the parking lot, and rode home with Linda.

After going nuts over Linda’s new car Tim and I went into the backyard for a little male bonding. We tossed a football back and forth while Linda got dinner ready. Lisa zoomed in about the time we sat down, and threw her arms around my neck in a colossal hug. “I love my car daddy, thank you so much for doing all this!”

A Norman Rockwell dinner later (turkey leftovers, yum!) we were all sitting in the living room, watching TV. Linda snuggled close, kept making veiled references to the space shuttle launch this morning — or so she hoped the kids thought. “I just LOVED watching the launch today,” she said, ‘the final countdown gave me goose bumps, and when the announcer from mission control said ‘we have ignition’ it was all I could do to keep from squealing in delight, and when he announced ‘we have liftoff’ I felt like I’d died and gone to heaven!”

I was not amused. Linda, to the best of my knowledge had NEVER been interested in the space program. The fact that STS-108 had launched that morning gave her the perfect opportunity. The kids however knew her twisted sense of humor, and figured there must be some kind of inside joke; little did THEY know. I only hoped she had left “mission control” in the bedroom.

We talked about the Christmas Holidays, Tim and Lisa were both excited about a “white Christmas” and seeing the estate. Linda and I left the kids to the TV and headed to bed. We enjoyed each other, Linda enjoyed “mission control,” we spent the evening loving, touching and teasing until we were both satisfied. Linda truly loved her gift, I truly loved Linda.

It was weird. I’d gone to Comdex to relax as Beth. Now, living as Kate, I had gone home to relax as John. My life had become more convoluted and twisted than I ever dreamed possible. The only rock I had left was my faith, and my love for Linda. With those intact, I knew I would survive whatever further adventures came my way.

Thursday November 29, 2001

I woke early. East coast time catching up with me, I suppose. I eased my way out of the bedroom, and started downstairs. The stairway contained many of our family pictures. A gallery in all but name, and I smiled when I compared it to the gallery at the estate. So many pictures, so many memories; Lisa and then Tim going off to kindergarten, the Halloween we all dressed like pirates, our wedding pictures. Me in full uniform, smiling in my Academy portrait; Linda and I on a camel in Jerusalem; each brought a smile, and some a tear. I hadn’t had a chance to really reflect on the changes in our lives. For the first time the cost of this adventure made itself painfully clear; it was time away from my family. I made it to my study, and just sat there for a while, tears streaming down my face.

I picked up my Bible, and opened it to Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5 and 6 and what has always been my “life verse:”

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

My life had certainly taken a path that I did not really understand, I could only hope and pray it would settle down enough that I could keep up with it. I’d always seen my gender issues as something apart from “real life.” Somehow I never believed I would have to confront the real issues and motivations of my gender dysphoria. After all, it was always something that I did apart from “reality.” I either did it away from my home and family — except for times with Linda, or as a “goof” whenever I could dress as Beth in a socially acceptable way. Halloween and costume parties provided that outlet. Now it was out in the open for my family, but hidden deep in a closet from the rest of the world. The reality was I had become what I had thought I wanted the most. In almost every way imaginable. No one would believe I was anyone other than Kate Stevens — a woman. Even Annie, who knew better, was losing sight of that reality. I suddenly realized that apart from my family John had nearly ceased to exist. Beth barely existed. The crushing weight of what I was going through fell on me that morning.

It was no longer a game. I spent some time, I suppose you could call it quiet time, just reading, reflecting, and praying about how things would turn out.

When I heard the kids start to stir, I moseyed into the kitchen, and started getting breakfast for them. The kids were surprised to find a complete breakfast waiting for them instead of cold cereal or a breakfast bar. With just over a week left of school before the holiday break they were understandably looking forward to some time off. Lisa was still ecstatic about her beetle. I collected hugs, and they were off and out the door before Linda came down, dressed and ready to face the day.

I suppose I looked a bit scruffy, sweats and sneakers, but I didn’t care. The look on her face this morning was radiant. “Have a good night?” I teased, serving her a ham and cheese omelet, after collecting a kiss.

“Oh you might say that,” she laughed. “That was incredible! Such staying power, you’ve certainly been eating your cheerioats. What’s with the clothes? I mean casual is one thing, but sweats?”

“I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you. I’ve an appointment to see Dr. Kline — a follow up from the boob job. Then tomorrow I’m flying out to Phoenix to see Dr. Wells — I’m sure he’ll be pleased with your reaction.”

Linda finished up breakfast and I picked up the kitchen while she finished getting ready.

A quick shower, light makeup, and I was off to the Doctor’s office. Dr. Kline told me he was satisfied with how my boobs turned out, and suggested estrogen to fill them out a little more naturally — and to increase the size of my nipples. I took the prescription, and said I would think it over. He turned me over to his nurse. She said two weeks was a bit soon for a follow up treatment, but I waved the money at her and was again lased from head to toe.

Dr. Kline stopped me on my way out. “Ms. Stevens, are you by any chance associated with Cendar? The head of the medical division is named Kate Stevens.”

“Yes, that’s me, why?”

“Well, I’ve read several articles regarding your current research, I was wondering, will you be expanding your beta program anytime soon? I know most of the software is geared towards the GP physician, but I would love to have a cross-check to my own diagnosis.”

"I’ll keep him in mind."

"I strongly suggested the estrogen, I can give it a head start with an intramuscular injection"
It was a big step, and another twist in the road I was traveling. It did however have the advantage of helping with being Kate. I reluctantly agreed, he prepared his syringe, and I wound up getting what my father had always claimed was a doctor’s standard treatment: a shot in the butt and a bottle of pills.

I filled the prescription, and went home. After changing persona's again I spent the rest of the day puttering around the house, cleaning, straightening, and just generally doing mundane things.

Another novel thought occurred to me. As Kate, I was never allowed to do so much as make a pbj. At home, I was truly enjoying the simple things. There was a lesson here; I only hoped I’d discover it.

The kids got home late in the afternoon, and I took them out for ice cream — the kid’s favorite comfort food, and then went home to prepare dinner. I’d always loved to cook, and the simple joy of doing something for my family filled me with a deep sense of satisfaction. I was just serving it when Linda arrived. Spaghetti with meat sauce — and yes — it too was comfort food.

The evening passed quickly; TV, homework, and cuddling. Again, it was terribly normal, terribly mundane, and immensely enjoyable. Needless to say, Linda put her new toy to good use as the capstone of a wonderful day.

Friday November 30, 2001

Up early again, I was off to the Marriott to change. From there, it was a short cab ride to the airport, and then a short hop to Phoenix. Dr. Wells poked and prodded, yelled at me for engaging in sex too soon, then pronounced me in “acceptable” shape. He was pleased with the cosmetic appearance, and was interested in Linda’s reaction, and smiled at her terminology.

I was back at Ontario by noon, and spent the afternoon in the office, mostly reviewing “my” diary, and “my” work files. I’d been avoiding Annie since Tuesday, and she knew it. Late in the afternoon, I found myself alone with her; everyone else was at the new site with the architect.

“I suppose I should be sorry,” she said, “but I’m not. I don’t know why, but since I saw you on Tuesday I’ve been incredibly aroused every time I’m near you. It’s strange, I never would have done anything like that with Kate, but you made it clear you were NOT Kate. The thought of a relationship with a woman I already love, who wasn’t really a woman is one I can’t get out of my mind. I never thought I’d have lesbian tendencies, but you are driving me crazy.”

‘Lord,’ I thought, ‘which way is gay? I’m a woman with Hal, a man with Linda, and now I’ve the potential for a lesbian relationship with Annie. Uh…., what happened to the straight paths you promised?’

I just sighed, “Annie, it won’t work. I’m trying to be as faithful to who I am and what I’ve promised as is possible. Linda is my love, my life. Yes, you did excite me. But it’s not me. I want to be close to you, I like you a lot. But I just can’t be your lover.”

“I don’t know if I can accept that. Please give me a chance. I love you.”

Another deep sigh. “I might be able to love you too, but as a daughter, not a lover. Besides, I’m old enough to be your father.”

With that her eyes glazed over, and I could see the word “father” had caused her brain to reboot. Annie blushed, turned and walked out of the room. I sadly went back to my reading. The thought of sex with Annie was tempting, deeply so, but I wasn’t sure how I would have accomplished it, and that disturbed me. I was trying to be faithful to my commitments, and to myself, and that also disturbed me, that I could be so close to giving in. Even more disturbing was the lack of a clear notion of who I was anymore.

I left for home, changed back to John, and invited my mom over for dinner. My mom, Linda, and I went out to Applebee’s. I told her all about what had been happening. Her only comment was I needed to tell my brother SOON. He had been worried that I wasn’t home, and had been bugging her for information.

Linda and I dropped her off, and then went to see a movie. It had been a LONG day, and I was glad to get home and go to bed.

Saturday December 1, 2001

I woke early, showered, dressed with a tight fitting sports bra, t-shirt, and denim shirt over that — my boobs were hardly noticeable. I took the hormones I’d been prescribed and then I wandered down to the office and fired up the computer. Hal had e-mailed a sweet note mainly detailing how much he loved and missed me. I replied, telling him I’d be home on Wednesday. Then I spent a quiet hour thinking about the changes around me.

About 8:00 I woke the kids and told them I was kidnapping them for the day, “so hurry and get dressed!” Linda had wanted to sleep in, so gathering up the offspring we left the house. They had no idea what was going on, but both wanted to ride in the BMW.

We stopped at Denney’s for breakfast, and then headed into Anaheim. I’d not been to Disney’s California Adventure, and figured the kids and I could explore the new park and let Linda join us later if she wanted. We spent the day just goofing around. The kids enjoyed the fact that I really didn’t care what they wanted, I wasn’t pinching pennies at a theme park — at least not as long as this adventure lasted. Linda never did join us, she was enjoying a down day with no work, no kids and no worries. I found out later she loafed around the house till noon and then went to a day spa for a little pampering — if you call manicure, pedicure, salt rub, and facial a “little” pampering. She deserved it.

The kids and I had dinner at Napa Rose in the park. Far superior to any Disney fare I’d ever eaten before. Lisa and I had the yellowtail tuna, with Tim pigged out on the pork rib roast.

We left about 9:00 and made it home in time for the kids to catch Saturday Night Live. Me? I headed to bed, and enjoyed snuggling with my favorite person.

Sunday December 2, 2001

I took my meds, showered, and dressed before fixing breakfast for everyone. After we ate, it was off to church. It was nice to be back in my home church. I missed the pastor and the worship. I shuddered to think what he would have to say about the complexities my life had taken. Like too many in the church, I feared his reaction would be derision and condemnation. But then again, maybe he could rise above the din and provide a bit of guidance.

We spent the rest of the day at the mall. Lisa insisted on shopping for suitable “snow” clothes. I just laughed, and went along with the flow. I told her to be careful, and we would be having Annie over after dinner. Lisa didn’t quite get it. I told her, “You know, the owner of Gowns R Us. She’s coming to take your measurements before we return to New England. I suspect you’ll find a closet full of clothes when you visit.”

Lisa’s eyes bugged out of her head, “you really mean it???” She asked. I assured her it would happen, and she threw her arms around my neck, “you are the best!” She gushed.

Knowing Annie, I suspect that Lisa had NO idea what was in store for her.

We arrived home to find Annie waiting. The atmosphere was strained, but cordial. Annie took Lisa to her room, and took what I counted to be 47 separate measurements while Linda and I watched. All were taken twice to insure accuracy. As she measured, Annie entered them into her laptop computer. She then held a colorimeter up to Lisa’s skin (back of the hand, inside the wrist, above her breasts, her chin, cheeks, and forehead), hair, and eyes recording the results as she went. She then pulled her hair away from her face, and slipped a wire frame like mask over her head. This was photographed from three different positions.

Annie explained, “What I’m doing is similar to how movies now create computer generated characters. I now know all the parameters I need to create a “virtual Lisa,” I’ll digitize the photos tonight, and by tomorrow the computer will have generated a model that can be used for creating any clothes I can imagine. The beauty is, we can see how the clothes will fit, drape, and move as the model moves.” She smiled at Lisa, “you’ll love it! Tomorrow night, we can get down to the serious business of shopping for your new wardrobe! Your dad tells me you’re interested in S.C.A. (Society for Creative Anachronism). Is that true?” Lisa nodded her head. “Great! One of the first costumes we designed with this software was for a 13th century court gown. Maybe we can try that one as a test, to see if it works for you.”

Lisa about went spastic, “Oh my gosh, what fabrics, what colors? Really accurate to the period?” Annie said yes, except for the fact that no one could sew as well as a machine, it would be authentic. No one will believe this.” Her mouth ran on at about 150 words a minute for I don’t know how long. Annie had made a friend. More than that, she had made my daughter happy.

I’ve often said if you want to reach me, do something for my kids. It’s the quickest way to my heart. Annie was redeeming herself, and probably didn’t even know it.

Annie packed up her equipment, and excused herself. Lisa ran off to the phone, Tim was playing Halo, and I saw the perfect opportunity for Linda and I to go to our room. It was time to talk serious.

“Babe, I need to know how you feel things are going. Even more I you need to know a few things about how my side of this is going. I’m feeling really twisted, hurting, and confused.”

“Now Miss Alice, aren’t you enjoying Wonderland?” She began to tease.

“Hon, for a minute, try to control what you use for a sense of humor, I’m really serious. I need your input. Remember, you’re partly to blame this time, it’s NOT all MY fault,” I pleaded. Perhaps it was the hormones, but I was feeling really emotional, I started to cry.

There must have been something about my expression, or my pleading, as she quieted down, and gently hugged me against her on the bed. “I’m sorry, why don’t you tell me all about it?”

It all came out: the feeling like I was living with a ghost. I told of the pain of the surgeries; of Hal’s apparent desire to believe I was Kate; the episode with Annie (OK, on THAT one she could NOT keep from laughing AT me!); my enjoyment of the sex, both with her and as Kate. I told of my desperate attempt to keep myself serially monogamous; my pain of being caught in circumstances way beyond my control, and how tempting Annie was. I told of my doubts about this life I found myself in, and how I felt I was giving up too much that was precious to me. I told her about my inner confusion, and a loss of understanding what was right and wrong. And I told her of my love for her, and how that was the only thing holding me together. I blurted out I didn’t know if I could continue to live if I couldn’t resolve the pain. I shuddered to a halt, as the tears really began to flow.

Linda rocked me back and forth, cradling me in her arms. She whispered sweet nothings to me, and let me cry myself out. She handed me tissue after tissue. And she assured me, over and over of her love.

“What am I going to do? Do you hate me? What am I going to do about Annie? Am I gay? And if I am, when am I gay? I thought I understood about gender, and sexual orientation, but I’m lost in a sea of conflicting feelings and thoughts.”

Linda looked at me and said gently, “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” Then it was her turn to cry. It was my turn to hold her. “I had no idea this would turn in this direction. I only thought of the money — and in hindsight that was a mistake. I’ve really screwed up. I thought you would love being able to be Beth for more than an occasional weekend. And I’m sorry I set you up in Las Vegas. I guess I never really thought things through.” She turned to me and through her tears asked, “Can you forgive me?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, I nodded my head. It was true; she had maneuvered me into a corner. She had coerced me into something I knew in my heart I did not want to do. I thought of a line from a country song. It was about a father’s love: Father’s don’t just love there children every now and then. It’s a love without end, amen.

It was even truer about my love for Linda. I could not, when everything was said and done, withhold my forgiveness. My love was, and is, unconditional. I’ve been mad at her, and will be again, but ultimately my love is unconditional, and without end.

We gradually pulled ourselves back from the slough of despair. There were practical considerations. We could pull the plug on this entire deal in another 9 weeks. That’s all I’d actually promised. We could see it through to the end. Linda specifically made it clear she would not hold it against me if things with Annie got out of hand, which she clearly expected. And she made it crystal clear that if I decided I had to bail on this deal she would support my decision, now and always.

One thing about Linda, she has never broken her word. I don’t think she has even resorted to ‘little white lies.’ I knew I could trust her.

And finally, we both agreed that counseling was preeminently imperative for the gender issues; both from a psychological and from a religious perspective.

We got ready for bed. There was an urgent and healing nature about out lovemaking that night. It sounds contradictory, but it was also soft and giving. Unhurried, I think we both wanted to make the pain of the other go away, each willing to put aside our own pleasure in consideration of the other.

It was late when we finally fell asleep, still lying in each other’s arms

Monday December 3, 2001

Monday passed in a blur. I rose early, spent my quiet time in my office, and then prepared breakfast for the kids. Afterwards, I dressed casually in a denim skirt and shirt over a white silk shell. I took my meds and started on my tasks for the day.

Hal wanted a home on the West Coast, near the new operation. We spoke about it before I left the house. Eventually he would build, but in the meantime, I was tasked to find a “temporary” home. He mentioned that we would be having a “working” dinner Wednesday night fund raising for Governor Swift. I found I was looking forward to being with her, in a short time she had become a friend.

Century 21 has a separate listing service for “fine estates,” and I approached the “estate and fine homes” office with specific requirements in mind.

Hal insisted that the estate include at least 6 bedrooms, be on 5 or more acres, and be within easy driving distance of the office — and since it was California he wanted a pool. Myra Duncan prepared a list of 5 possible homes, and we spent the day touring them.

In the Temecula area, there are basically two choices. You can either live to the east of Interstate 15 in a tract home, or you can live in the hills of De Luz to the west of the 15. I knew Hal would have a fit — regardless of the price — if I even looked at the tract homes. So, it was off into the hills.

The first was not what I wanted; it was new construction, in a Spanish ranch style. It had plenty of room, but was kind of stark and sterile. The second was in the De Luz valley, 15 acres, about 4000 sq. foot, but with an 11 car garage, I really didn’t warm to it.

The third I fell in love with. It was in a park like setting on 10 acres. I was greeted by a charming gatehouse. Then there was a pond that covered 1.5 acres with a small island in the middle. The house itself was an English Tudor style, 8 bedrooms and an absolutely gorgeous kitchen. The floors were marble, and the counter tops were dark blue granite. The kitchen had lots of room and was totally modern. The rest of the house was delightfully “English Men’s Club” wood paneled. I loved the library, with it’s thousands of leather bound books. The master bedroom had a wonderful attached bath, complete with hot tub. It was a west coast version of Stevens Hall, and I knew Hal would love it as much as I did. The feature that put it totally over the top was the formal English garden. Myra and I walked across a footbridge to the island and sat down in the gazebo, where the owner joined us. A couple of minutes later, we were served tea and scones. A corny touch, but I loved it.

The owner, an older woman named Sarah, was asking $5.2 million. I mentioned I might be interested, but wanted an outside appraisal. Myra recommended 3 different appraisers, and I contacted all three. Two were available that afternoon, and I promised a bonus for a quick turnaround on the report. Sarah, smelling a possible sell, gave me a more detailed tour of the house. We talked about the furnishings; Sarah would prefer not to move them. I feigned reluctance to keep them — actually, I loved them, and was willing to pay for them. We talked about how soon I could take possession, and Sarah mentioned it was not being lived in, and could be made available immediately. Sarah did have a caveat; she wanted whoever bought the property to keep the groundskeeper and his wife, who was also the housekeeper and cook. They lived in a separate cottage, one of 3 scattered around the grounds. I told her I’d consider it.

We walked back through the garden, and I was entranced by the precision of the landscaping. I wandered through the hedgerow maze down to the pond. There were ducks swimming, and as I watched as a fish of some kind broke the surface of the pond. It was incredibly peaceful and bucolic.

Myra and I visited the remaining listings. But nothing compared to Sarah’s house. Myra and I returned to Sarah’s and I spent the rest of the day there poking my way into every nook and cranny of the house and gardens. There was even a well furnished basement — something unheard of in Southern California.

Shortly before 4:30 I met individually with the appraisers. The first gave me an initial verbal appraisal of $5.3 million, the second $5.2 million. I thanked them and Myra, Sarah, and I sat down to talk about the house.

I told Sarah I wanted the house, and was willing to pay the initial asking price. She asked if I wanted to have my husband look at it before finalizing. I smiled and mentioned Hal trusted my judgment. Sarah asked about the furnishings. I asked what her intentions were. She suggested at the price I was paying, I ought to take care of removing what she did not take. I agreed, and told her I be would keeping her staff.

We agreed to have Liz and George meet with Myra, and Sarah’s attorney the following day to finalize the arrangements. In the meantime, I gave her a certified check for $1 million as earnest money against the purchase. She agreed to immediate occupancy.

Myra smiled, mentally counting her commission. We left, and I placed a call to meet with Linda, Liz, George, and Annie for that evening. We met at the temporary offices, and I was unsurprised to see someone had ordered Chinese takeout. We compared notes; Linda had the new complex well under way. I brought George and Liz up to speed on what I wanted with the new estate, and what improvements would need to be made.

Annie surprised me by suggesting an additional party for December. When I asked what kind of party, she smiled. “Lisa’s into S.C.A., right?” she asked. I agreed.

“How about we throw an S.C.A. type party the weekend of the 27th, She could invite some friends with a chaperone, and I can provide the costumes. And, you wouldn’t know, but I used to be Chatelaine for the Canton of the Two Towers - the S.C.A. chapter on the North Shore of Massachusetts. I’m sure I’ve some friends who’d love a Midwinter’s eve party. Lisa would LOVE it.”

I told Annie I’d think about it. I asked if she could arrange for a hairdresser and someone to do my nails on the flight Wednesday. Hal and I had a fund raising dinner to attend, and I wouldn’t be able to go a salon between the time we arrived and when I had to join Hal. Annie said she’d arrange it. I began to think Annie could “arrange” anything.

Linda and I went home where I called Hal with the news. He sounded delighted, promised to send one of the household security staff to look into what would be needed. We turned in, and I treasured the closeness of Linda next to me.

Tuesday December 4, 2001

My last day in California for a month or more began like Monday. I had forgotten how centering it was to start my day with a quiet, devotional time. This morning was especially bittersweet, and I treasured my memories.

The kids had become spoiled; taking my cooking breakfast for granted. I did not mind at all. Tim and Lisa took off for school, Linda to the office, and I slipped into jeans, bound my boobs, and donned a polo shirt before tackling my most difficult task — talking to my brother.

T.J., short for Thomas John, worked north of Los Angeles. T.J. was a risk taker, and an excellent sales manager for a large food wholesaler. He regularly spent weekends in Vegas, and was one of those people who were the bane of the casinos. Though he seldom actually gambled, he always seemed to win. I drove up the coast to Santa Barbara. I knew he would be working, so I called on his cell, and he agreed to meet for lunch.

T.J. is an elder in his church, and was a late convert to Christianity. It was my sharing of my faith, and my example that brought him to faith. Like me, his faith was evangelical. Unlike me, he tended to be more liberal in his faith, and more conservative in his politics. I wasn't sure if he knew of my gender issues. He'd seen me as a woman on Halloween, but I didn't think he had connected the dots. I dreaded meeting with him. I dreaded coming out. I feared his reaction.
TJ and I met at Arby’s. It was a personal favorite for both of us. T.J. looked at me, and his brow kind of wrinkled up. “Hey bro, how are you doing?” He asked, as we hugged. “How come you haven’t been home?” If he had felt my binding or my boobs he didn't say anything about it.

“I’ve a new job,” I told him. “I’ll be spending a bit more than half my time in Massachusetts for at least the next 3 months. I’m doing about half Unix, and half HR, and they are paying me like you wouldn’t believe, it's well into six figures.”

“So why haven’t you called me?” he asked.

“TJ, things aren’t quite as simple as I’ve described.”

“What do you mean?”

I handed over my Massachusetts Driver’s License.

“What in the hell is this!” he demanded.

“That’s me according to the company I work for, and virtually everyone who knows me in Massachusetts.”

“Bro, that’s a woman.”

“Duh. It’s a long story. Mom already knows it, and I need to let you in on it too.” With that, I told him the whole story. He sat back, with a look of disgust and anger on his face. Gradually, his features softened, and when I told him about swimming with Annie, he, like Linda, burst out laughing.

“Only you Bro, only you! OK, I’ll grant it, you’re deep in it this time, but I’ll also grant the payoff justifies the risk. But jeez; what a cost!”

“T.J., that’s not the point, I’m really confused, and it seems the cost is rising all the time. But I had to talk to you.”

“So,” he asked, “can I come and visit some time?” And then he chuckled, which developed into a hearty laugh.

“If you want, I’ll even send the jet for you.” I trumped his teasing.

Abruptly his laugh died. “Jet?” he gulped.

“Oh yeah, as in Lear jet, or Boeing, your choice.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope, not at all,” I replied. Why don’t you and Jean plan on coming out for our party on the 21st?”

T.J. said he’d think about it, we finished our lunch, and I headed back home, changed to Kate mode, and went to our temporary offices.

When I got there, Liz and George reported progress on the new estate. The property would be paid for within 30 days, on a short escrow. Jeeves would be sending out a security adviser, who would coordinate with Abbey to setup security for the estate and the offices. Linda and Liz would oversee everything, from upgrades to hiring.

Abbey asked for input and direction. She had been looking at properties on the border and had run into a legal issue. Apparently many of the maquiladoras hired both legal and illegal immigrants to the United States. “How close to the actual immigration laws do you want me to operate?” she asked.

“Well,” I started, the realized that Linda should answer the question.

Linda handled it superbly. “That is nearly a politically incorrect statement. However, Cendar will NOT break the law. This endeavor will operate within the law.”

Abbey looked uncomfortable. “Who will police this?” she asked.

“Abbey, we will. It is our company. It is our vision for the future. We owe it to ourselves, our employees, our investors, and our customers. We will comply with the laws.” Linda replied.

Shortly after, Linda and I left for home. Both of the kids were there, and we shared a simple beans and wieners dinner. Annie dropped by after dinner with her laptop. She started her modeling program, and Lisa went into overdrive. There on the screen was a perfect image of Lisa, modeling a 15th century Spanish court gown, green bodice over a white satin kirtle, with gold brocade and piping accenting the bodice and overskirt.

“So, what do you think? Should I have the dress made as a test for you Lisa?” Lisa gaped at the dress like a fish. If Annie were into fishing, she would have just set the hook.

“It’s gorgeous!” Lisa cried, “but where could I ever wear it?”

“Well, I’d talked to your dad about an S.C.A. themed Christmas party; didn’t he mention it to you?”

“Daddy? Really? Where?”

I turned so Lisa couldn’t see and glared at Annie - I was going to get her for this one. I then turned and smiled at Lisa, “Nothings been set or arranged, but Annie thought she could get some friends of hers in S.C.A. to help plan and throw the party at Stevens Hall. Would you like to bring some friends out for that kind of party the weekend after Christmas?”

“Would I LIKE TOO???? I’d LOVE too” was Lisa’s reply.

“I guess you and Annie can plan it. But let me see the guest list before you send the invitations. Remember, I’ll be ‘Aunt Kate’ once we’re in Massachusetts. I’d hate to have someone recognize me.”

Lisa was off to her room and the telephone. Annie left shortly afterwards, Linda and I discussed our plans, she and the kids would be coming east on Saturday. I packed a few private treasures I planned to take with me, and we headed for bed.

Yes, Linda did make use of her new toy, and that’s all I’m going to say about it — except to note we slept extremely well afterwards.

Wednesday December 5, 2001

The laser treatments must be working, I found my bed full of ejected hairs again. I rose, showered, did my makeup, and dressed in a wool jumper over a lightweight blouse. Weather reports were for upper 30’s in Boston. I put my bags in the car, fixed breakfast, gave the kids a hug, and headed for the airport.

Annie was already there, and we went aboard the aircraft. It was strange; a luxury aircraft, pilot, co-pilot, and stewardess; all for just Annie, an aesthetician — Pamela, and me. I don’t know where Annie found her, but Pamela started right to work. I explained I wanted a softer look for my hair, and would like to lighten my rather plain dark brown (almost black actually) hair color, and add some highlights. She asked my preferences in nail color, and I mentioned darker burgundy and plum shades. She said she would need some supplies, and left the airplane saying she would be back in half an hour. I found out later, there’s a Sally Beauty Supply store a couple of miles away from the Ontario Airport, and Pamela did a speed run for needed supplies.

While we waited, I continued working on Kate’s files. Annie was busy with her SCA party, and the stewardess was engrossed in planning lunch. Pamela returned, and we were airborne by 9:30 am, which would put us into Logan airport (closer to Boston than Beverly) about 6:00 pm if everything went well.

Pamela and I went into the bath attached to the master bedroom on the plane. We talked about face shapes, and what would give me a softer, more feminine look. Actually, she talked; I listened, and tried to appear at least somewhat intelligent. Together we settled on a layered cut that would frame and soften my face. Soft bangs would conceal the height of my forehead. We settled on a dark auburn color with several complementary highlights, and she went to work.

Pam chattered constantly. Her topics included clothes, current movie stars - Meg Ryan had been treated badly by Dennis Quaid — The tragedy in New York; who was hot and who was not, what TV shows she enjoyed — Friends and Sex in the City. It was all rather brainless, and I enjoyed it; I didn’t have to think and could drift along with an occasional comment. It was nice to be able to turn off my brain and not think. I’d been doing entirely too much of that lately.

2  ½ hours later, she had finished, my nails were perfect, and both Annie and I thought the new hairdo brought out my best features. Pam went out into the main cabin to work on the stewardess.

I decided to nap a bit, and changed into a nightgown. We still had 3 hours, and I found I was more tired than I wanted to admit. It was the only way to travel. Snuggled into bed, the lights turned down, I quickly fell asleep.

Sometime later, I woke to the tender hands of Annie rubbing my back. “Wake up sleepy head,” she whispered. “I need to talk to you.” I turned over, fluffed my pillows and asked what was on her mind. “Linda said I needed to whisper something in your ear while we were still airborne.” She leaned close, “Miss Alice, be nice to the Mad Hatter, she loves you too.”

Annie leaned back, “Do you know what it means?”

Somewhat shocked, I answered, “Yes, yes I do, but do you know what it means?”

Annie looked at me. “Not really, but I think it has to do with me.”

“Right in one guess; when this all started I told Linda I’d fallen through the looking glass and felt like Alice in Wonderland. I told her I had met the white rabbit and the Mad Hatter. You can guess who the Mad Hatter is.”

“Me?” she asked, I just nodded. Annie sighed, “She’s right you know. I do love you, both as Kate, my surrogate mother, and Beth, the woman who kept Hal from killing himself. He was close you know.” I nodded. “Beth, I’m sorry I came on so strong, but you do excite me, and I want you in a way I’ve never wanted a woman before — and yes, that’s probably because you weren’t born one. I’m confused about this too, but I do want you, and am willing to do anything to make you love me too.”

There really is no good way to go when you’re in this kind of situation. I was back down the rabbit hole. A beautiful woman was sitting on my bed, looking adoringly at a fat chick — me. My wife had told me to “be nice” and knowing how earthy Linda is, and how twisted her sense of humor is, I had no doubt, what she meant.

“Annie, this is so hard for me. I’m struggling with all of the gender and orientation issues dominating my life right now. I really need someone to be there for me, I don’t know if I can be your lover. I’m willing to be your friend, and love you. If you really love me, you will have to go slow and accept that,” Annie nodded. She lay down beside me and we hugged. I turned my face to her, closed my eyes, and licked my lips. Annie kissed me. Annie caressed me, and this time I did not run away screaming. We cuddled for a while, and then she suggested I shower, and get ready for my evening.
I got out of bed, and Annie slipped my nightgown over my head. “I never did get to look closely,” She said. I sat back on the bed; she knelt before me and gently spread the lips of my neo-vagina. “You really do look natural, except for no vaginal entrance.” She stood up. “Thank you, I know that was hard.” She turned on the water, and pushed me into the shower. “Hurry, I’ll help you dress.” Annie said as she turned and went into the main cabin, closing the door behind her.

I had barely turned off the water before Annie was back. “We’ll be landing in about an hour,” She said as she held out a thick terry cloth robe. As soon as I’d tied it closed, Annie opened the door and called Pam in to do my hair. She dried and styled it, and I enjoyed the luxury of her pampering. “Do you want me to do your makeup too?” she asked finishing my hair.

I could get used to this. “Yes please, for evening, but not too dramatic. I’m having dinner with the governor and don’t want to outshine her.” I said.

Pam’s eyes went wide, “the governor?” I just nodded. It was pleasant to see her surprise. I had been on the receiving side of way too many surprises lately. She asked to see my dress for the evening. Annie pulled a black long sleeved heavily beaded dress from the closet; Pam nodded, and got to work. Like Tracy from the Excalibur, (was it really only three weeks ago??) she made me look far better than I ever achieved on my own. Pam left the cabin, and I quickly dressed in black lingerie, the only difference in my attire this evening was stockings and a garter belt — I had plans for Hal later in the evening. Annie suggested pearls, and I agreed. We landed 15 minutes early and after putting on a pair of scrunchy booties Annie held out a glorious full-length mink coat for me. I’d never worn a fur coat before — much less mink. It was incredibly soft and velvety against my skin. I left the cabin and walked off the plane directly to the limo.

Hal was pleased to see me, even more pleased in how I looked, he complimented me on my new hairstyle, and we drove into Boston. Dinner was at the Copley Place, one of the nicer hotels of Boston. Jane greeted Hal and I and escorted us to the head table. Altogether, there were probably 250 people at this fund raising dinner. The food was adequate — I’d been spoiled lately; beef, chicken or fish, accompanied by veggies.

The political discussion centered on the incompetence of the Big Dig, and how to get Massachusetts’ only non-elected governor in modern times elected. Frankly, it was dreadfully boring — even for a life long Republican. I spent most of the time chatting with Jane about the girl scouts.

Jane told me of the many programs, from the sleepovers at the Museum of Science to the story of Zink the Zebra, a collaborative program between the Girl Scouts and T.J. Maxx. Zink the Zebra is a touching story about a Zebra born with spots instead of stripes, a story of being different and tolerance. I nearly cried as Jane told me the story. There is one line I think I will always remember. Zink’s mother told her “what you are is what you are.” Sometimes, being transgendered, hiding your differences all the time sucks.

A little girl dying of bone cancer wrote the story of Zink. As her progressing physical differences made her an outcast, she wrote the story. The story with its message of tolerance caused me to tear up. Since I was already (supposedly) working with her in the Girl Scouts she asked if I would be willing to volunteer for some of the programs. I agreed - there was nothing else I could do. “Oh Goody,” she said, “I can’t wait to see you in uniform.” Then she laughed. I smiled, and asked about her babies.

After dinner, I headed to the ladies room before leaving for the estate. After taking care of business, I carefully wiped myself clean with a wet wipe, and placed my panties in my purse. I felt deliciously wicked as I walked out to claim my coat.

Hal held out my coat, and I again marveled at how soft and cuddly it felt. Hal walked me out to the limo, and we climbed in the back. “Could you put the privacy screen up?” I asked, “I’d like to snuggle a bit.” Hal liked the sound of that and closed the privacy screen. Now no one could see in, or hear us. After consuming a little too much wine, I was happy to lean against Hal. Our driver started the car and we began our hour drive back to the estate. We chatted while Hal began to caress my legs gently. When he reached the tops of my stockings, his eyebrows rose in surprise. When he caressed higher, it was something more substantial that rose when he realized I was not wearing any panties. I smiled at him as he sputtered.

“Can you think of a better way to spend the time?” I asked coyly. He responded magnificently, and I enjoyed his lovemaking while I remained completely clothed (well almost), laying back against my open mink coat. As a teenager, I had often hoped to make love to my date in the backseat, but it never happened. Reality far surpassed my teenage imagination, for both Hal and me. When we were finished, I slipped my panties back on with a panty liner, rearranged my clothes and snuggled next to Hal.

We drove up to Stevens Hall arriving a little after 11:30. The lights created a cheery welcome. I was grateful to get home — and more than a little chagrined to realize I thought of it as home. Jeeves met us downstairs. “Everything has been unpacked Madame,” he informed me. Hal and I went upstairs.

I stepped out of my booties, and sat down on the bed. “I think my feet have swollen two full sizes,” I moaned. Hal sat down beside me, and pulled a foot up into his lap. He began gently massaging first one foot, then the other. I sighed, lay back on the bed and enjoyed his ministrations. Soon he began to move his hands up my legs, massaging his way up my thighs. “Haven’t you had enough?” I asked laughing. I suggested that maybe it would be a good idea to hang up my dress before he completely ruined it. Hal grinned and agreed. I stood up, and he unzipped it for me, leaned down, and kissed my shoulders as he slipped the dress off.

“You remember the first time I did this?” he asked, leering at me with that infuriating grin. I remembered that night at the Venetian. Was it really only three weeks ago?

I pressed back against him, turned and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Hmmm… yes, I also recall what you wanted then. Is that what you want now?”

Hal wriggled his eyebrows leeringly, unfastened my bra, and began kissing me. On the mouth; along my jaw line to my ear; then down my neck and throat to my breasts; he made it very clear what he wanted. I unbuttoned his shirt, and unfastened his tuxedo trousers. I was glad my body was on California time. Twice in one night! Hal was nearly insatiable. He made me feel his need until I needed him nearly as much. A long time later, Hal was sated and I was happy and satisfied. We fell asleep after turning off the alarm clock.

Thursday December 6, 2001

I woke to find more myself alone in bed. I brushed off the fine hairs and sighed as I realized the laser treatments would need to continue for at least another 2 months.

I grabbed my book — I still was reading Heinlein, and headed to the bath. I settled into the scented bubble bath and soaked for half an hour. I grabbed a loofa, and scrubbed my body, and in the process many more hairs began floating in the bath water. I showered off, and dressed comfortably casually; an over sized red sweatshirt with an embroidered snowman over blue sweatpants; sneakers and blue snowflake socks. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, enjoying the new color; did my makeup lightly, and went down to breakfast.

Vikki, bless her, had breakfast ready when I arrived. I did not know how she always seemed to know when I would be there, but she did. Vikki served my usual oatmeal, fruit, 7-grain toast and bacon in the breakfast nook of the atrium. The fragrance of the blooming flowers and the watery early winter sunlight combined to form a tranquil setting that spoke peace directly to my soul. After breakfast, I wandered the atrium. Vikki had her section, filled with aromatic herbs, another seemed to be nearly tropical, colorful orchids bloomed, helped by full spectrum lights. Everywhere the rich earthy fragrance of a living growing garden filled my senses with life, with growing things. I finally found myself in my downstairs office.

On the desk was a comprehensive summary of the previous two weeks. Cendar Medical was completing the initial FDA tests. Final testing would begin soon. This time with EMT’s under the supervision of MD’s. I made the decision to expand the research beyond General Practice physicians. If the software worked as predicted, then the market share would be far greater than Cendar had originally imagined. I would invite Dr. Kline into the expanded testing program.

My Comdex hires had all accepted positions, and Janie, Hiram, and the Mooney’s would all arrive Saturday. I wasn’t sure about Simon. His attitude spoke volumes both about his relations with the end users, and his professional competence. I believed he would be a valuable addition, but I was not comfortable with his ability to relate to Cendar’s employees. Janie, Hiram, and the Mooney’s had all accepted invitations for the holidays, Simon was an unknown.

I called in Vikki, and Hermione to discuss the housing arrangements for the holidays. Hermione gave me a devilish grin, and wanted to bet that Lisa and Tim’s rooms would exceed their wildest dreams. Knowing Lisa, I privately doubted, but agreed to a tour.

I did not know about the kids, but what she had accomplished exceeded my expectations. We entered Tim’s room and I gasped. The colors and décor all proclaimed that this was an “in with it” bedroom. From the stark bed, to the elaborate computer and entertainment center, everything was cutting edge. The colors were “Batman Gothic,” with blacks, grays, and intense whites defining the living space. The desk and the headboard of the bed were slate grey, with chrome accents. Glass doors opened onto a complete entertainment system. Hermione explained the speakers were hidden. Some were in the bed, others strategically placed around the room. The speakers provided complete surround sound for anyone lying in the bed or seated at the desk. The desk looked like something out of Star Trek, the next generation. The monitor of the computer was a 42” monster plasma display. The desk contained a powerful Dell computer with all the bells and whistles. Hermione explained the shelf above the desk contained the latest releases of software, and should (she said) satisfy anyone. The stark image was softened/warmed by an aquarium that separated the bedroom from the bathroom. It was almost as though Dali had met Jacque Cousteau to form a synthesis that was at both times connected to the current teen landscape and the world of the sea. The bathroom was a blue, green, and chrome masterpiece. The final touch to the bedroom was the ceiling. When the lights were turned off, hidden projectors came on and projected the current starscape on the ceiling. Hermione explained the scene shifted through the night to reflect what could be seen outside on a clear night. Tim was going to freak at this room.

If I had thought Tim’s room was special, Lisa’s was unbelievable. Hermione opened the door, and I swear I could hear it creak. Instead of the stark sharp lines of modernism, her bedroom was something out of a Cecile B DeMille mediaeval period piece, only with softened edges. Inside, the walls were faced in grey granite. The floor had the rich look of polished walnut. It looked very medieval. There were tapestries hanging from the walls. One was a fanciful forest scene with an incredible depiction of a unicorn. The bed of course was a four-poster, floor to ceiling with attached curtains. The bed Hermione informed me, was a twisted rope platform bed with a goose down mattress shaped by modern fabrics. It was as close to 16th century as was possible while still preserving the comforts a teenager would expect. At the foot was a massive chest; sort of an oversized, medieval hope chest. The lighting was indirect. Above the desk, was what looked like the mirror from Disney’s Snow White.

Hermione grinned, “watch this,” she said, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall.” With those words, the “mirror” transformed itself into the screen for a computer monitor, a voice called out, “what is your wish my princess.” “The mirror has an electrostatic charge that was either totally transparent, or totally reflective. I thought it a cute touch, and the voice recognition software was just too incredible — it makes it all seem like magic.” She then showed me how the computer was built into the desk. It was truly ingenious. The desk also contained the room’s entertainment system. Where Tim’s was “in your face”, Lisa’s was restrained, hidden, and unobtrusive. The furniture fit into the medieval motif. Massive chests and delicate chairs predominated. The closets continued the medieval look, with a massive chest of drawers, plenty of hanging space (I was unsurprised that many garments were already there), and many shelves. I later found out that Hermione had considered massive air conditioning changes to simulate the drafts in the period castles — but saner heads prevailed.

In the bathroom, Hermione had replaced the rather normal and sterile bath/shower with an enclosure that blended into the perception of a bath for a royal princess. Marble, granite, and wood combined to create the best of today’s bathrooms with the image of yesterday. Lisa would go nuts. I was particularly pleased with the waterfall at the far end of the Bath, It could fill the tub as well as just look gorgeous.

I turned to Hermione, “you did this in just one week?” I asked.

“Oh yes, and I must say, it has been the most enjoyable project I’ve had in years. Hal said to do whatever I wanted, and with what you told me, I let my imagination run away with me.”

“Thank you,” I said, giving her a hug, “the kids will love it! I’m glad I didn’t take you up on that bet.”

Hermione continued her tour with the other rooms. All were beautifully decorated, spacious, and comfortable. None approached Tim and Lisa’s rooms, but then again, none of them were my children.

I drifted down to the first floor office, and found Hal going over the floor plans of the new California estate. We discussed the new estate, the offices, and Linda’s plans for Cendar West. . I had my files, and decided to work on organizing the directions I wanted to take the medical division after the first of the year.

The day passed quickly. I excused myself, and told Hal it was exercise time. I changed, and went down to the pool. 45 minutes of water aerobics, and I was exhausted.

I showered, changed into a sweater and skirt for dinner, and went looking for Annie. I found her in the library, with books and sketches laid out on a table. “Oh Kate, you’ve no idea how much excitement you’ve caused in the Canton with this party for Lisa! I talked to Hal, and he said it would be okay if the local SCA group helped. They’re really looking forward to it.

“The Chatelaine is delighted to have a kitchen and staff to prepare the feast — not to mention picking up the tab. Hermione is a whiz with decorating, and I’ll bet she creates a banquet hall right out of a Hollywood movie — it will be difficult keeping her within historical reality. Look at the drawings!” Annie pointed to some sketches which changed the dining room with it’s formality into a throne room crossed with a medieval banquet hall. Thankfully, the fireplace was large enough. After seeing the kid’s rooms, I would not put it past Hermione to enlarge it to satisfy her creative urges. At one end was a dais, with honest to goodness thrones, and trestle tables down the length of the room.

“Vikki is going nuts with the menu. It seems she has had dreams of doing a feast like this for years; all with authentic period recipes!” Annie gushed. She grabbed a page from the table and began reading. Most of it was in French and old English and she assured me, authentic to the 14th century. I understood maybe every third or fourth word. Annie’s eyes glinted with a flame I had seen only once before — in the shower! Apparently SCA was a passion with her. Wisely, I nodded my head, and crept slowly from the room as she began to babble about a suckling pig ridden by a helmeted cock as the centerpiece of the pre-revel luncheon. I truly did NOT want to know what a helmeted cock was. Annie however felt it her duty to explain it to me before I could escape.

“The Coqz Heaumez, or Helmeted Cock is a combination of pig and rooster, with the final presentation the rooster riding the back of the suckling pig. And of COURSE the turkey is dressed in the livery of the royal family, holding a miniature lance and wearing a helmet!”
I ran for the door, and made it to the office before she started speaking in tongues again. All I knew for sure was the weirdness was back!

Hal and I enjoyed a quiet dinner upstairs. Afterwards, I called and confirmed that Linda and the kids would arrive tomorrow evening. I teased Lisa about her weird SCA friends, and dropped hints about the party and her room. Tim was pestering me about the shooting range if he had his way it would be straight from the plane to the range. I said my goodnights, and turned on the TV. After getting ready for bed, I vegged out watching Friends, then Will and Grace. After reading for a while, I turned over and went to sleep.

Friday December 7, 2001

I woke up excited. Linda and the kids would be here tonight! I quickly bathed, shaved my legs and other places, dressed and did my makeup. After a quick breakfast, I went out to my car, and noticed changes as soon as I closed the door. The BMW had a solid “chunk” sound when you closed the door before. This time, the door closed with the authority of a bank vault. I looked closer, and the windshield seemed to be thicker. ‘Hal,’ I thought to myself, ‘promised some improvements when I left, must have meant armor.’ There were also additional controls on the dash. I resolved to find out what they were before I touched them. I would not have put it past Hal to include every James Bond device he could find. I enjoyed the quiet power of the engine, and realized the car seemed to drive even smoother. The added weight must have improved it’s already incredible stability.

Annie had arrived earlier at the office, and had my day mapped out. The morning was mostly meetings with senior staff. The afternoon was to be dedicated to the medical division. The day passed in a blur of activity. Pending FDA approval, the final round of testing would begin in February. It was late in the afternoon when I received a frantic call to come to the front desk. The security officer said he “had a situation” that required my presence.

The situation turned out to be Simon. He had apparently accepted Cendar’s offer. I recognized him immediately even through his scruffy clothing and two day growth of beard. He looked like a homeless reject with a battered suitcase in one hand, huge duffel at his feet, and a leather laptop bag over his shoulder. He was loudly proclaiming, in his British accented English, to the security officer that he did indeed have business with Cendar. “Hey boss!” he called as he spotted me exiting the elevator, “tell these cretins who I am, will you?”

The security staff looked at me with wide-eyed dismay. The senior officer asked “you mean he’s telling the truth?”

“Yes gentlemen,” I replied. “Simon, where are you staying?” I asked.

“Err, I hadn’t quite figured that out yet, I assumed I’d find a hotel after checking in with you.”

“Well, grab your gear; we’ll put you up at Stevens Hall through the holidays. And, we’ll wait to process you in with security until you’ve had a chance to clean up a bit. You are really quite scandalous you know!” He just chuckled.

“Sounds super, are you sure I won’t be an imposition?”

“I think we’ll be able to accommodate you.” I knew from his background check that one of the reasons Simon was so interested in Cendar centered on his recent divorce — and a deep desire to get as far as possible away from his ex-wife.

I could not help laughing at the bug-eyed look from the security officers. “Gentlemen, let me introduce you to Simon Gordon, the new Chief Systems Administrator, his actual title is Vice President — Mainframe Operations for Cendar. Yes, he’s strange, but he’s all ours!”

The look on Simon’s face repaid the security officers — with interest. I left Simon, a look of shock on his face, in the lobby while I went back upstairs to grab Annie, my purse and my coat. We went together to the lobby, escorted Simon to the parking lot, and loaded his luggage into Annie’s car.

Simon climbed into the passenger’s seat and winced as the door closed authoritatively and decisively. “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“I beg your pardon,” I said.

“WHAT, the, bloody, HELL, are you talking about?”

“Umm, I really don’t know what you are talking about Simon, what are you confused about?” I asked, pulling out of the parking lot. Reaching route 128, I pressed the gas pedal to the floor, throwing Simon back into his seat.

“What the F’ing Bloody Hell do you mean ‘Vice President for Mainframe Operations?” he practically screamed.

“Simon?” I asked.

“What,” he snarled.

“Did you read the job description?”

“Bloody straight I read the F’ing description.”

“Watch your language, uh, what was the job title?”

“Supervising Systems Administrator,” he said.

“Simon, what does ‘Supervising’ mean?” I asked.

“Well, I thought it meant I would be in charge of the IT shop in a major US corporation.”

“Uh, Simon, is Cendar a major corporation?”

“Damn straight it is,” he said.

“When you are in charge of all systems administration, and in charge of those working for you, how would you define your job?”

“Err, Senior computer geek?”

I could see he knew he was losing. I began to giggle. “Actually, I’d first wanted to make it a Senior Vice-President position, more meetings, suits, ties, and other assorted indignities.”

Simon looked at me with an expression of stark terror written across his face. “Uh, you do want the job don’t you? Or would you like to move back to Orlando near your ex-wife?”

If I’d thought he looked frightened before, he now had the deer caught in the headlights look about him, you know, the moment when the deer realizes it’s made a bad mistake. I thought of twisting the knife just a little more. However, never having been a true sadist I decided to let him off the hook.

“Simon, relax. The job will be what you make it. I wouldn’t have offered the salary if I didn’t think you could handle it. But you have to admit, since we first met, you’ve done everything in your power to show just how big a royal pain in the ass you can be. From the ‘Practical UNIX Terrorism’ Tee — shirt to the homeless look, you’ve made it clear you are a non-conformist. Fine, it’s your life. But, Cendar is MY company, we have rules, and we have expectations. Let me make this perfectly clear, I want you at Cendar, but I fear your attitude and mine will collide if you persist. I do not intend to butt heads with you day after day. You will be free to run your department the way you want, as long as you remember who is in charge. Now, do you still want the job? Or should I take you to Logan Airport?”

“Bloody hell, do you always fight this dirty?” Simon snarled.

“Simon, I’m a very pleasant person to deal with; but when I have to reign someone in what you’ve seen is just the tip of the iceberg. You really do not want me at my creative bitchy best. Let’s simply leave it that there are worse things than working a help desk; like working a help desk side by side with your ex.”

“Bloody hell, tell me I’m dreaming.”

“Well Simon, what’s it going to be? Wealth, power, and happiness or a thin sided trailer parked next to your ex?”

At that, Simon visibly shuddered. “All right, all right already, I surrender!” He slouched down in his seat, muttering deep unintelligible deprecations as he sullenly stared out the window.

I sensed a grudging respect, by all accounts Simon had walked all over his previous 3 or 4 employers. I think he recognized his antics had lost their effectiveness, and it was time to bow to the inevitable it he wanted this job.

Annie was just behind me as we pulled into the estate. I’m prejudiced I know, but at the front door was the most beautiful sight in the world. Linda, Lisa and Tim had apparently just arrived and were standing at the front door. I jumped out of the car, leaving Simon to his own devices and rushed to give my darlings a hug.

Linda was grinning, “Gee Miss Alice what a nice little house you have!” Tim and Lisa looked at her like she was crazy.

“Well, let’s go inside, it’s too cold to stand out here. Annie, could you get together with Jeeves, get the luggage upstairs and help Simon find his room?”

Annie nodded, and I put Simon out of my mind. As we entered the Great Hall Tim and Lisa just stared. It was so funny I couldn’t help laughing. “Welcome to my world kids, now you know why your mother and I agreed to this. Just wait, you won’t believe your rooms.” We took the elevator to the second floor. “I’m sure you’d like to get settled before dinner, so why don’t I show you to your rooms, then you can look around for a bit. Dinner should be ready about 6:30, so you’ll have a bit more than an hour to explore, though I’m betting you don’t even leave your rooms.” I think the kids took that as a challenge; little did they know.

Tim’s room was first, he took one look and his eyes about bugged out. He tossed his backpack on the bed and began to explore. Lisa looked at the Goth nature of the room and backed out. “I hope my room isn’t like THAT,” she stuttered.

“No my dear, yours is more fit for a princess, allow me,” I said as I opened the door to her room.

Lisa gasped when she saw the tapestries. She entered the room almost in slow motion. Once inside, she slowly pirouetted; taking in the vision that was her bedroom. I closed the door, leaving her to explore her enchanted realm.

That left Linda and I alone. “Well Miss Alice, where’s our room?” she asked. I lead her down the hall to the room Hermione had prepared for her. As we entered, she remarked “This doesn’t seem to be the master bedroom.”

“No, that’s down at the end of the hall.”

“Well my dear, we need to clear things up then. I’m sort of willing to share you, but the master bedroom is where you, and that means me, will be spending the night.”

I looked at her in shock. “But where will Hal sleep?” I asked.

“Good point, let’s see the room.”

I lead her to our bedroom, and Linda started to unpack her clothes. “I’m glad to see there’s plenty of closet space,” she said hanging up clothes next to mine, and generally making herself at home. “We will be having a chat with Annie and Hal right after dinner, and yes, they both know about it. After you left, I thought over what you said, and decided to help resolve the tension. So relax, I have it all worked out. Are you going to dinner dressed like that or are you going to change?” Linda asked as if nothing was going on. I changed out of my business suit, into a comfortable sweater and jumper combination. Linda took advantage of my partially dressed state to steal a hug. She could feel me tremble, and looked up into my eyes. “Hon, trust me. I think I can make everything okay.” I took a deep breath, nodded, and finished dressing.

We gathered the kids and went down to the dining room. I was pleasantly surprised to find everyone there, and the meal was simple, beans and franks, followed by apple pie and ice cream. Comfort food indeed. I needed it. The conversation at the table centered on the kid’s descriptions of their rooms. Neither could believe what they had found. Simon had cleaned up fairly well, and seemed genuinely interested in the computer setup Tim described. Annie just giggled at Lisa’s reaction, and told her, “just wait till the party, then you will see truly marvelous things!” to which Lisa replied, “nothing could be more awesome than my room. I may never leave!”

Hal gazed expansively over the gathering. We were up to 9 residents in the Hall, and I don’t believe there had ever been this much activity. Hal was clearly enjoying the domestic hustle and bustle. He immediately endeared himself to Tim by promising a tour of the range, and some “serious shooting” in the morning. The kids were careful to call me “Aunt Kate” and Hal “Uncle Hal” and no one seemed the wiser.

After dinner, the kids went off to examine the house, while Annie, Hal, Linda and I went upstairs to my bedroom. Hal poured drinks for everyone as we settled around the table in the parlor. Linda and Annie each had a glass of chardonnay, Hal poured scotch for himself, and a bloody Mary for me.

Linda began, “we have a problem, several of them actually, and I believe if they are not settled quickly then one of us will probably not be here very much longer.”

“What do you mean,” Hal asked, worriedly.

“That one,” she said pointing at me, “is in a great deal of pain. Sunday night, I realized just how much pain. Consider, Hal you love her — but it's not her you love, it's her identical twin. In time you will come to love her separate from Kate, but that takes time. You Annie, see her as a mother, but also as a lover. And Mother! What a Lover! And I of course have loved John for almost thirty years. John, Beth, or Kate is in the center of a four-cornered love affair. I love him as my husband — and yes he performs wonderfully in bed!” I turned beet red. “Hal cannot separate John/Beth from Kate — and if I understand correctly is more than pleased with Beth/Kate as a wife.” I think I began to glow from embarrassment. “And finally, we have you Annie. You perhaps are the hardest of all for Beth/Kate to deal with."

"Please understand, John and I are both very conservative. She had carefully built a wall between herself and John. With the help of that wall she could be "straight" while loving both Hal and myself. She called it 'serial monogamy'. She is female in every way with Hal, and no one would ever believe otherwise. The same with me as John. Straight, conservative, can't even justify marijuana use for medical reasons. But suddenly John finds himself as Kate to be, the object of your love and passion. She's a lesbian! Or is she? That is the straw that broke the camel’s back. She could no longer pretend to be straight as Kate, and straight as John when she wanted you as much as you wanted her. The question that is tearing her apart is "is she gay? and if so when? ”

At that point, I began to sob gently. Linda had ripped away the facade I’d built to protect myself. I hadn't sorted it out as well as she did, but she was absolutely right. Had I become gay? Ha I always BEEN gay? Linda asked the question in front of the ones I needed protection from the most. Hal looked at Linda and Annie. By some unseen agreement, the three of them enfolded me in a hug, and let me cry myself out.

After some indefinable amount of time, I stopped crying. Linda pulled back, looked at me, and began to laugh softly. “You my very dear are a mess. You have absolutely ruined your makeup. Then she kissed me on the forehead. “Why don’t you go crawl into the Jacuzzi, and we’ll join you in a few minutes.”

“What do you mean ‘we’” I asked.

“Never you mind, just go and I’ll explain in a few minutes.”

Again, my life was outside of my control. This time Linda was in charge; I was just along for the ride. In some ways, things continued to spiral down into the abyss. Linda seemed so sure, so confident, and I knew she only wanted the best for me. Yet, the question remained unanswered, was I gay? And, could I live with it?

I went into the bathroom, and undressed. I could hear the voices from the parlor, without really being able to make out the words. I turned on the Jacuzzi, washed my face, and climbed into the steamy warmth. I had just begun to relax when Linda entered, naked, and handed me my drink. Then she climbed in next to me. She grabbed a washcloth and began gently washing my back.

The door opened, and Hal walked in, naked. He looked at Linda appreciatively, and I was glad she had the grace to blush. He joined us, and took over washing my back while Linda started on my front.

The door opened, and this time Annie walked in. She was, if anything, more gloriously sexy than I remembered. She stepped into the Jacuzzi, and picked up a pitcher and began to shampoo my hair.

“Do you know what the most fantastic thing about this situation is?” Annie asked.

“No,” replied Linda and Hal in unison.

“The three of us are seriously twisted. Kate is the only sane one here. The three of us are all excited by a naked fat chick. She at least has more or less normal tastes.”

I knew she was correct. Linda and Annie had both made their desire clear. And Hal, from the way he was poking me was seriously excited by someone — and the evidence pointed to me as that someone.

Annie rinsed my hair, and I closed my eyes and leaned back against the side of the Jacuzzi while the jets of water massaged my body. Linda climbed into my lap, and assured me of her love. Then she moved away, and let Annie take her place. Annie embraced me, rubbing her breasts against mine while kissing me tenderly. “I love you. Can I be married to you also?”

I just sat there and stared at the three people who wanted to share my life, my love. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. Annie moved over to Hal’s lap.

“Can I share her too?” she asked him squirming seductively against him.

Hal seemed to be in distress. I reached over, and found him painfully erect, larger than I could recall him being. Annie stroked down my arm to where I was touching Hal. “Hmmm," she murmured, "something needs to be done about that."

I suggested a cold shower, for all of us. That got me splashed. We did, however, quickly finish bathing, and rinsed off. Annie, Linda and I pulled on nightgowns, Hal pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms. Unfortunately, Hal continued to tent his bottoms with his enormous erection.

Sprawling on the bed, Linda spoke for the three of them. “Hon, you and I and Hal will share a bed while I’m here. Annie may join us. We three have agreed that we all love you. And, through no fault of your own, you are the object of our affections. We believe that by being open, caring, and honest with you and we have the best chance of helping you. Our love is absolute and non-negotiable . You can reject us, but we will never reject you.”

“Now, to practical matters, what should we do about Hal’s distension?”

Annie giggled, and I blushed. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well someone has to do something for the poor dear. He’s liable to explode. After all, he doesn’t have your magical, mystical, wonderful little button!”

“Button?” Hal asked, raising his eyebrows in a way guaranteed to irritate me.

“You mean she hasn’t told you?” Linda asked incredulously.

“Told me what?” Hal asked.

“Oh, this is too rich. Annie, can you reach my purse?” Linda said.

Annie handed Linda her purse. Linda pulled out the control unit, and I groaned. “I thought this was an absolutely wonderful modification to the male anatomy,” she giggled to Annie. “Watch this!” With that, she lifted the hem of my nightgown, exposing my pseudo-vagina and grinned as she pushed the button.

For me, it was entirely involuntary. My concealed penis leapt out from it’s concealment and became instantly rigid. Annie’s eyes grew wide, and she clapped her hands over her mouth. “And the best thing, it will not go soft until I decide!”

Linda got up, took Hal by the hand, and Left the bedroom, leaving Annie and I alone. Annie reached out and touched me. “You are even more beautiful than I’d imagined,” she whispered. I reached out, and turned off the light.

Much later, Linda traded places with Annie, and we enjoyed each other. Linda opened the valve, I went into the bathroom, and cleansed myself, tucking things back where they belonged. I was unsurprised to find Hal and Annie with Linda when I returned to bed. We shared a goodnight hug, and finally went to sleep. It had been a strange evening, and I hoped things would be easier after Linda's revelation. Somehow, I did not think this was going to happen. My self-doubt and loathing had become such a part of my being, and when I thought things through I became sick to my stomach. Linda had tried and I feared she had failed.

Saturday, December 8, 2001

I woke to find Hal staring at me. Annie and Linda were nowhere to be seen. “You are beautiful, you know,” Hal smiled beatifically at me and said, “I hope to wake to this vision every day for the rest of my life.” I felt an ice-cold breeze suddenly ran down my spine. The kind of feeling you read about in ghost stories; only I was the ghost.

There was a sudden, lurching to my stomach. After the rather pointed discussion of the night before, Hal was even less able to maintain the reality of who I was. I panicked, the fear and doubts I’d been hiding for the last month rose within me inexorably, and I knew I was going to be sick. I rushed for the bathroom, Hal tried to follow and I slammed the door against him before barely making it to the toilet. I began throwing up everything I had eaten the night before. I slumped against the toilet, drained and shaking uncontrollably. Then the tears and terrors began in earnest. Hal kept knocking at the door. Through my sobbing, I begged him to get Linda.

An eternity later, Linda tapped on the door and slipped the lock. She took one look at me, and dropped down to the floor and pulled me into a hug. “Oh my God,” she said, “I made the wrong decision didn’t I?”

I had no voice. I could not answer, I was uncertain I could even move. My continued existence was very much in doubt as I clung tightly to her, wracking sobs lancing through my body — only stopping when I reached the point of needing to retch again. Linda called out to Hal to get Annie, and hand a blanket into the bathroom. Hal called Annie, and summoned Jeeves. Annie arrived, followed closely by Jeeves with his medical crash cart. I tried to scream for everyone to "just leave!" a peep that wouldn’t frighten a mouse was the best I could do. By this time, I had moved well past sobbing and retching, all the way to hyperventilating. Jeeves began to try to sort out what was going on. He pulled out a stethoscope and began examining me. Mercifully, I passed out.

They say everyone has a twin somewhere. What do you do when your twin is dead and her rich husband fixates on YOU?

Many thanks to my original editor Wendy, and my new Holly and Stan. Props to Maggie for her encouragement.

I awoke in a hospital bed with an IV drip in my right arm, and I could hear the incessant beep of a heart monitor. The lights were low, I was pretty well swaddled in blankets and felt warm and kind of fuzzy. Jeeves was setting in one corner of the room. When he saw I was awake, he quietly left the room. Linda sat next to me, holding my left hand. I felt calm, tranquil, and more than slightly light headed. “I’ve been sedated, haven’t I?” I asked.

WARNING This scene contains a description of the rape of one of the characters WARNING

Comdex - Interlude
Chapter 4
Copyright 2004/8 Beth Williams

Sunday, December 9, 2001

I awoke in a hospital bed with an IV drip in my right arm, and I could hear the incessant beep of a heart monitor. The lights were low, I was pretty well swaddled in blankets and felt warm and kind of fuzzy. Jeeves was setting in one corner of the room. When he saw I was awake, he quietly left the room. Linda sat next to me, holding my left hand. I felt calm, tranquil, and more than slightly light headed. “I’ve been sedated, haven’t I?” I asked.

Linda nodded, “Yes, you scared the hell out of everyone.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Would you believe, 32 hours?” Linda asked, worry clear in her voice. “Oh, Honey, I’m so sorry.” tears streamed from her red swollen eyes. “I thought bringing everything out into the open would ease the tension — not make it worse.”

Not so strangely, considering the sedation, I really didn’t feel anything at the moment. “What’s going to happen now?” I asked.

“I don’t really know. Hal had one of Cendar’s doctors come to the estate. This suite is like an ICU. My guess is, Jeeves went to let him know you’re awake.”

As if on cue, the door opened, and Jeeves entered with a man I assumed was the doctor. Through the open door, I could see Hal, who looked terrible.

“Good afternoon, Kate, I’m Dr. Tom Richards, I work for Cendar. Mr. Stevens assigned me to your case. How are you feeling?”

“Tired, exhausted, really, I suppose part of that is the drugs I’ve been given?”

He nodded.

“Why was I out so long?” I asked.

“Well, it’s not often I’ve had a patient with hysterics pass out. And, I’ve never treated a transgendered person before.”

“What!” I looked wildly at Linda, and could hear the heart monitor’s beeping increase in speed.

“Shush, Hon; we had to tell Jeeves and the Doctor when they decided to cath you. They were more than a little surprised. Jeeves had strong words with Hal about that one, let me tell you.”

“Mrs. Stevens, please. We only want you healthy and whole,” Jeeves assured me. “I was royally pissed at Hal for his deception, but I know how much you've given up, just how much you’ve already done for him and the company. Please, I know how to be discreet, don’t worry about me.”

Jeeves startled me. First, he had never spoken a single vulgar word in my presence before. Nor had he ever criticized Hal before. I was struck by his sincere tone and manner — he was being honest with me. In addition, for the first time since I had met him, he was not affecting a butler’s subservience; I realized I didn’t really know him.

“Okay then, Jeeves. I’m embarrassed to ask, but what is your first name?”

He looked uncomfortable, “Andrew is my given name, and my friends call me Andy.”

“Then let’s start over with each other, Andy, and be honest. I was born John Albert Williams. For many years I’ve spent occasional time as Beth, and when Hal encountered me at Comdex, he was certain he’d seen his dead wife, Kate. Between Hal, and Linda, I let myself be convinced to take Kate’s place. And to be perfectly honest, I must admit Kate and I share a lot in common. The similarities are incredible, so much so that Hal often forgets I'm not Kate. That's the problem. I’m living with a ghost. I am disappearing, John is, that is, and it scares me. It's getting hard to live with. As for keeping you in the dark, we decided to limit who knows about the real me. I can see where we screwed up. I am sorry, Andy, you should have been told.

“I suppose the biggest question in my mind is, what’s happened to me?”

“I was rather hoping you’d be able to tell us,” Dr. Tom replied. “There’s a tremendous hormonal imbalance in your blood right now. Also, your liver functions are way outside normal parameters. That, combined with the stress you’ve apparently been under evidently combined to trigger a panic attack. Have you been taking any hormones?”

“Yes, but only the ones prescribed for me.”

“Where are they?” he asked.

“In my medicine cabinet upstairs,” I answered.

Jeeves left the room and returned a few minutes later and handed the medicine bottles to the doctor. “Let's see...Enjuvia, Diane-35, and Aldactone; have you been taking all three of these?” he asked incredulously.

I answered that I was taking them just as prescribed, and according to the labels on the bottles.

“Well it could certainly be the reason your liver functions are off the scale.”
He pulled out the clinic’s PDR and began reading the physician information for each of the drugs. “Well, I think someone has made a mistake here. You’re receiving at least twice the estrogen that you should be, and lacking testicles, the anti-androgens aren't needed at all. Even if they were, you are way over the necessary dose. Either the pharmacy or the doctor made a mistake. How long have you been taking them?”

I told him I’d been taking them since the 29th, and that Dr. Kline had given me an intramuscular injection that day as well.

“Well, it may not be actionable, or malpractice in the strictest sense of the word, but you are certainly taking far too high a dose of these drugs, and it could have seriously damaged or destroyed your liver. I want to set an appointment up for you with an endocrinologist who specializes in gender dysphoria immediately. I think if you moderate their use, you’ll be fine. Your emotions should also even out.”

“In the meantime, I want you to go back to sleep. I’m going to continue to monitor your condition until I can get someone competent out to the estate on Monday.” With that, he went to the clinic office, leaving me with Linda and Andy.

A few minutes later, he returned and injected something into the drug lock of my IV. “Nighty, night,” he said, before returning to the office. Things got all cottony, and then blurry. My last memory was Hal walking in, eyes red, looking down on me in bed. I fell into a deep, and thankfully, dreamless sleep.

Monday, December 10, 2001

When I awoke, Linda was sitting in the chair next to me, lightly snoring, and a nurse I didn’t know was keeping watch. As I struggled to sit up, the nurse came over, “Hi, Mrs. Stevens, my name is Wendy. Please, let me help you sit up.” She raised the end of the bed for me.

Linda heard the whine of the motor, and slowly began to stir. I asked for something to drink, and Wendy gave me orange juice. She said the doctor had okayed any breakfast I wanted. I asked for bacon and French toast, and Wendy called it into the kitchen.

When Dr. Tom entered, I asked what time it was, and was only moderately surprised to find it was a little after 10:00 in the morning.

“Dr. Norma Ledbetter, and Dr. Saul Bellows will be out to see you this afternoon,” he informed me. “Dr. Ledbetter is an endocrinologist, and Dr. Bellows is a psychiatrist. Both have extensive experience with transgendered patients. They’ve also worked together for several years. Assuming everything goes as I expect, you can plan on resuming your regular routine this evening.”

I laughed derisively, “Routine? What routine? Since this began, everything seems to be spinning out of my control. No one seems to understand that crappy little fact,” I snarled.

“Well, I can see the sedatives are wearing off,” he remarked dryly. He proceeded to listen to my heart and lungs; then did the other indignities physicians do when they examine you, and finally pronounced that I was indeed among the living. “One of the things we found in your blood work up was your sed rate was up, indicating a slight infection. It may have contributed to your current condition.”

He wheeled an equipment cart over, and I saw it was one of Cendar’s prototype diagnostic machines. He attached the various leads to my body, placed my arm in the blood pressure cuff and let the machine do its own examination. It rather gently pricked the tip of my little finger, and collected a minute blood sample which it then whisked into the built in analyzer. In less than five minutes, the computer delivered a diagnosis and recommendations. Dr. Tom handed the printout to me.

It was an amazing experience. Not the least of which was that the output was understandable. The language was in straightforward English — not medical gobbledygook. The computer essentially said I was healthy, and what was I doing laying around — and by the way — I needed to get more exercise and lose weight.

“Impudent piece of junk!” I snapped. “What does it know about exercise?”

Dr. Tom laughed, the door opened and Vikki brought in my breakfast. “Are you alright Mrs. Stevens?” she asked with obvious concern.

I bit off a sharp retort, and with great effort, smiled, “So the doctor tells me, thank you for asking. Mmmm ... that smells wonderful.”

Vikki smiled as she laid the tray down on the bed table. Linda decided to go shower while she had a chance, and mercifully, everyone left me alone to enjoy my breakfast. I turned on the TV and watched CNN while eating.

As I finished, Dr. Tom entered (which gave me a good appreciation of the surveillance capabilities of the medical suite). “I’d like to remove the IV and catheter, and give you a chance to get clean before your guests arrive.”

I quickly agreed — any reason to get out of here sounded good to me. The doctor removed the IV first. I noticed a bit of bruising around the puncture site. Dr. Tom asked Wendy to go get slippers and a robe for me. Then he asked that I lay back, lowered the bed, and removed the catheter. “I thought sending Wendy out would ease your mind a bit. Your surgery is amazing; if I hadn’t needed to insert the catheter, I doubt I’d ever have noticed anything different about your genitals — short of doing a gynecological exam.” Pulling my nightgown down, he helped me sit up.

Wendy returned, and held the robe out to me. She then led me across the hall to the showers — I was clearly still a patient. The hot water coursing down my body did much to ease the tension I was feeling. Linda brought me clean clothes. By the time I was finished, I felt almost normal. Unfortunately I no longer knew what normal was.

“Okay folks, I’m going upstairs till the other doctors arrive.” Dr. Tom looked like he wanted to object, but my attitude suggested it would not be wise. I took the elevator to the first floor, and wandered out to the atrium. The flowers, the sunlight, and the warmth helped soothe my jangled nerves. Linda sat with me. I didn’t feel much like talking — I didn’t really trust myself to be coherent. I just sat and enjoyed her closeness.

Noontime, Vikki pushed out a tea cart, loaded with tea and finger foods. Linda and I nibbled in silence. “How are the kids doing?” I finally asked.

“Once they realized you were okay, they were okay. Hal has been spoiling them rotten. He wouldn’t leave you, so he had a couple of the security officers take Tim to the range. He also arranged horseback riding for Lisa. By the way, “your” horse is a monster! Have you seen it yet?”

I nodded. “Hal is talking about getting Lisa a horse of her own He mentioned a friend of his raised Morgan's.” When Linda saw the confusion on my face she explained, “Morgan's are a breed that originated in Massachusetts and are supposed to be a great all around breed. Anyway, Hal promised to take Lisa to look for a horse.”

“Then Sunday, when it became clear you wouldn’t wake before noon, he took Tim and Lisa to church while I sat with you.”

“You're kidding, right? It was all I could do to get Hal into church at all!”

“Hon, it was his idea. He looked really rocky, but they went to church, he wouldn’t even drive. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you, but more than once I heard him whisper, ‘Please God, don’t let me lose her again.’”

“Oh my God, what am I going to do? It’s her ghost I can’t take. I might survive if Hal would let me. But if he doesn’t figure out that I am not truly Kate, then neither Kate nor Beth will survive,” I began to cry quietly.

Linda held me, trembling, “Will John survive?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

--------------

I chose to meet the doctors In the second floor guest office. It was quiet, had overstuffed chairs, and had a warm homey feeling. Moreover, it had not the slightest hint of a doctor’s office.

Norma Ledbetter, a petite redhead with startlingly bright green eyes, She was . I guessed her age to be fifty something. When she smiled, her entire face lit up, and the smile truly seemed to stretch from ear to ear. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Stevens. It’s nice to meet you. Please call me Norma,” she said, reaching out to shake my hand.

“Hi, Norma, please sit down.”

Norma, Linda and I sat down; Vikki brought in a coffee and tea service then quietly left the office. Linda sat close to me on the couch. Norma began “I’ve spent the last hour with Dr. Richards reviewing your case. I must say, it is a bit unconventional. I understand you are having trouble with your hormone dosages. How long have you been in treatment for your gender identity issues?”

“Since the middle of November,” I answered.

“What?”

“Well, my breasts were done on the 19th; the orchiectomy and vaginoplasty were on the 20th. The doctor started me on estrogen, and the other hormones. So, I suppose you could say themiddle of November.”

“Let me get this straight, you’ve only been in treatment for less than a month? That’s outrageous! How long have you been in treatment by a psychologist or psychiatrist?”

“I haven’t been. Linda and I talked about it, but I haven’t seen anyone yet.”

“Then how in the world did anyone begin reassignment surgeries and hormones? God, no wonder you are so screwed up. This is the reason the Standards of Care were developed.”

“Norma, whoa, slow down. Please start at the beginning, assume I’m totally ignorant — because I’m beginning to think I am.”

We were interrupted by the arrival of doctors Bellows and Richards. Dr. Bellows was a 50 something black man with a complexion the color of well oiled mahogany. Large in every direction, his voice was low, melodious and delightful to listen to. It reminded me of Paul Robeson in the classic ‘Old Man River’ from the musical ‘Showboat.’ “So, this is the patient? It’s a pleasure to meet you. Please call me Saul,” he said taking my hand in both of his.

Norma turned to Tom and Saul. “It seems we have a problem greater than you originally called us for, Tom. Our patient has never heard of the Standards of Care, nor has she been under any formal transition plan, nor has she been under the care of a mental health professional.”

“Norma, I’d asked a minute ago, could you explain what you are talking about?” I asked, growing somewhat frustrated.

“Sorry. First of all, what name would you prefer we use?”

I suppose I should have been expecting the question. It really exposed my own terrors and fears; and naturally, the tears began to flow again. “I’m sorry; I suppose that’s part of my problem right now. For all of my adult life I’ve been John Williams. For the last 20 years or so I’ve spent at least a couple of weeks a year as Beth Williams. A month or so ago, I was attending Comdex — a computer trade show — as Beth. My path crossed that of Hal Stevens. He took one look at me and ran away. I am, in appearance, in the way I speak, and by all accounts, the way I think, a virtual twin to his wife Kate.

“Kate died in the 9/11 attacks, though her body was never recovered. After he got over the shock of seeing me, Hal searched Las Vegas until he found me. He had the harebrained idea that I could step into Kate's shoes. He and, I’m sorry to say, Linda here, convinced me to do just that. The breast implants, and genital modifications were just the means to ensure I wouldn’t be noticed. Dr. Kline prescribed the hormones to help my breasts become more realistic. The trouble is, Hal can’t separate me from his dead wife, and I can’t live with her ghost.” I began to sob quietly. Linda put her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close while handing me a tissue.

“Well, that is quite a story,” Saul commented, “but it remains a question, what should we call you?”

“Right now?” I sniffled, “I’m more Kate than anyone else.”

“Then Kate it is,” Saul said smiling in a warm and reassuring way. “Norma, you’ve seen her blood work?”

“It is so screwed up, I’m surprised she can even function. It’s almost as though she were going through puberty and menopause at the same time. It’s going to take some time to sort it out. Are you going to take her case then, Saul?”

“I really don’t see much choice. With the body changes, the hormones, and the fact that she is living as a woman — and more importantly, being accepted as a woman — she definitely needs someone to manage her case. And, modesty aside, you and I are among the best. And that doesn’t even address the need to keep this quiet, and away from the press.”

“Do I have any choice in this?” I asked.

With a gentle laugh, Saul answered “Not really. Well, yes you do, but I don’t think you’d like the alternatives. By all the reports, if you’re not suicidal then you are damn close to harming yourself. Close enough that if you weren’t under competent care I would be ethically bound to seek a commitment to a state hospital for you. And leaving aside that I’m a stockholder with a vested interest in Cendar, Hal would not allow that. It would become very ugly, very public, and very unpleasant. Besides, will it be so difficult working with me?” he asked, again with his warm smile.

“I see what you mean. So, where do we go from here?”

Norma began, “First, we need to get your hormones balanced, then begin moving towards complying with the Standards of Care. Those are a series of guidelines for managing gender dysphoria and sexual reassignment. Frankly, you should not be in the position you find yourself.”

“The Standards of Care are very specific recommendations,” Saul continued, “designed to ensure the patient has the best possible chance to succeed in their desired gender. You, or rather Hal, simply threw money at your body, and you are experiencing the results.”

The two of them were whipsawing me back and forth. I'd never really examined how the medical community helped someone transgendered. I had just “thrown money at” my own issues. “Do you really think this will work? I’m so confused.”

I turned to Linda, “Hon, what do you think? What should I do?” My heart began to race at the implications.

Linda softly smiled, held my hand, and whispered “I love you. Whatever it takes, I’ll be there for you.”

Looking from face to face, I realized I wasn’t alone. “I guess I really have no choice. What do we do next?”

Saul clapped his hands. “There, see! You can face this. I promise we’ll do everything to help you make good and appropriate choices. First thing is to get you stabilized. Norma will see to that. I’m not sure how, but I know she will get you balanced. Me? I’ll work on unkinking your brain, and help you see where you want to go. And, I do believe Mister Hal Stevens and I are going to be spending as much time together as you and I will. He has some growing up to do, and damned little time to do it! I've known Hal to pull some bonehead stunts before, but this takes the cake!”

“Saul, I think I’m going to put her on a trans-dermal patch with a low dosage of estrogen for a week or two, then, depending on her blood work, change her over to an oral; and, no more of the androgen blockers.”

“Okay, I’ll leave that up to you. Tom, you will be the physician of record. I expect you to arrange daily blood draws for the next couple of weeks. Can you make it out here every day?”

“No problem, the owner of my company will see to it,” he said dryly, referring to Hal.

“Excuse me, but is there any reason not to be seen at the company offices?” I asked.

“No, that works as well. But what I want, is to be certain you are seen every day. And, I want blood samples daily, with the results going to Norma and myself. And, I think I want you on Prozac for a while — at least until we sort out some of the issues. Now the important thing for you to remember, is that Norma and I are very good at what we do, and we will help you through this. You and I will be meeting at least once a week for the next few months.”

I agreed. After doctors Norma, Tom and Saul allowed me to escape, I asked Linda “where are the kids?”

“Hal took them to the mall. They wanted to do some Christmas shopping. Honey, he’s been fantastic with the kids. He knows he’s part of the problem, and he truly wants to help.”

“What about Annie?”

“She’s frantic with worry. She went to the mall with Hal and the kids. She and Lisa are getting along great. Oh, and by the way, there will be additional guests at dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the Mooney’s arrived yesterday, you know about Simon, and Janie and Hiram arrived this morning. They’re all settled in and having a good time,” she informed me.

“So, everyone but me is doing great,” I snapped.

“Hon, everyone is concerned for you. We all care, and are scared for you.”

I went to my room and lay down for a nap.

It was about 5:00 when Linda came in to wake me. “Rise and shine sleepyhead,” she said, gently rubbing my back.

I rose, showered and dressed for dinner. When I finally went downstairs to the dining room the kids were there, Lisa came over and gave me a hug. “Are you alright, Dad?” she whispered in my ear.

“I don’t know, I think so. The doctors say everything will be okay in a few weeks time.” Lisa sat close to me on one side, Linda on the other at the dinner table. Everyone else came in about then. We just about filled the table with my family and the guests.

Hal sat opposite me. “You’re looking well, Kate,” he said.

I didn’t know what to say. I felt my heart begin to pound. Linda reached over and took my hand in hers.

Vikki served dinner. Hal looked sheepishly at me and shook me to the core when he asked Tim to say grace. His heartfelt “Amen” at the end was clearly sincere. To say I was distracted, would be an understatement — I can’t even tell you what we ate that evening. I do know that 14 people around a table make an incredible amount of noise — the kids getting to know each other, the adults making polite conversation — except for me. I sat there like the skeleton at the feast; somehow unable to make a real emotional connection with anyone or anything. I suppose it was a reaction to the medications. All I know is that I felt numb.

After dinner, we went up to the movie room and watched an advanced release of the Lord of the Rings — Fellowship of the Ring. How Hal got it, I have no idea — but I truly enjoyed it. I forgot myself for nearly three hours. After the movie, everyone left for their rooms while Linda and I headed to her room.

Hal stopped us in the hall. “Kate, please take the master suite. I’ve had Jeeves move some of my things to one of the extra bedrooms. You and Linda should have the larger space.”

I wanted to be angry; I wanted to shout at him. I simply did not have the energy. I let Linda lead me to the room, where we changed and slipped into bed. I took my meds, including a sleep med. When Linda pulled me into a hug I melted into her arms and quietly sobbed myself to sleep.

Tuesday, December 11, 2001

Linda gently shook me awake at 6:30, “Come on, Hon. Time to face the world. You need to start living again.”

I just groaned. Linda pulled me out of bed and pushed me into the shower; where she joined me, washing my hair and just generally pampering me. Afterwards, I did my makeup, and dressed in a simple black suit with a pale pink silk blouse.

Linda handed me the meds the Doctors had determined I needed — a healthy dose of anti-depressants. I asked Linda about the kids, and she said they were still asleep — their bodies were still on West Coast time — and for them it was still the middle of the night.

Downstairs, Vikki had my usual breakfast ready. I enjoyed sitting in the atrium eating my oatmeal; the normalcy somehow comforting. All too soon, Andy was there to drive me to the office — Hal had left for the office an hour earlier. I was grateful to have a driver, it had snowed, and besides being cold, the roads were icy and treacherous.

The office was a madhouse. Janie, Hiram, Jack Mooney, and Simon were all waiting for me. Their concern was evident. All they really knew was I had gotten sick on Saturday, and hadn’t been well enough to come to work. I had Annie escort them to HR for orientation and all the other processing that goes along with a new job.

Later, Annie took Janie, Hiram and Simon down to the computer center. I was certain Simon would quickly take charge; I was also afraid that Simon would quickly take charge. I needed to keep in mind that Simon was a two edged sword. His excellent skills were the mirror image of his acerbic personality. I resolved to check in later in the day to see how he was progressing.

Jack, I took over to the medical center and introduced him to the team he would be working with. Jack was an expert systems guru. He would be tasked with developing quality assurance testing for the software underlying the diagnostic equipment. It was hoped that Jack, as an outsider would bring a fresh perspective to the QA process. Jack made himself at home, and I returned to my office.

On my desk was a large bouquet of roses. Attached was a note: “I hope these brighten your day, see you at lunch, lots of love — Hal.” Lunch with Hal I thought I could handle; we would have to redefine our relationship.

It was strange. The feeling of Kate’s presence was overwhelming. But, today it was somehow comforting. Oddly I felt compelled to explore the private side of my dead “twin.” I picked up the black framed picture of Kate and her twin daughters. The little girls looked remarkably like Lisa in preschool.

I called Annie and asked if she could come into my office. When she arrived, I asked her to join me on the sofa. “Annie, can I ask some questions about Kate? — they may be painful, but I really need to know.”

Annie looked down at the picture in my lap and gave a deep sigh. “I should have seen this coming. What would you like to know?”

“Can you tell me about my twin’s babies?”

“What do you mean your ‘twin’?” she asked. “Oh, is that how you’re trying to cope?”

“I think that’s how I have to deal with things for right now. The doctors are going to keep me pretty well whacked until I start dealing with things better. Soooo ... . I thought it might help to see Kate as my twin — heaven knows we seem to be identical.”

“Okay then, what would you like to know?”

“Can you tell me about the babies? Everything, I mean. I realized just a little while ago that they would be only a year younger than Tim.”

“I was thirteen when my mom and the twins died.” Annie began to cry softly. “They were typical, bubbly toddlers. I adored them. Becky and Tracy were like little sisters to me. I used to help mom with them after school. They loved playing dress-up. Even more, they loved to climb up in my lap and cuddle. They always wanted to play and laugh and sing. Most days they would get up from their nap about the time I got home from school. The first thing we’d do is watch Sesame Street. Then they almost always wanted to play “school.” Really, they just wanted to be with me — and truthfully — I loved being with them.

The day of the accident, my mom was returning from a “Gymboree” play session in Burlington. It was the first big snow of the season, and a fuel truck lost control, crossed the median on 1A and slammed into her car. My mom, Becky and Tracey died almost instantly in the accident. After they put the fire out, there were only charred, barely recognizable remains. It was decided the three of them would share a casket.”

“It was Kate that came to my school, and told me the news. I shouted, screamed she was lying, I tried to kick and hit her, but Kate just held me while I cried my eyes out. I remember it vividly; she put me first, ahead of her own pain. I moved into Steven’s Hall that evening, and Kate, Hal, and I began to put our lives back together. Soon after the funeral they legally became my foster parents. Legally, my last name is Stevens”

Annie seemed to run out of steam, so I reached over, and pulled her close. We sat there for I don’t know how long; hugging, cuddling, bonding, and helping each other come to grips with the loss of Kate.

“Annie, you want me to love you?” I asked, brushing her auburn hair away from her face. Annie nodded, “but I can’t survive and be your lover. Will you let me be your foster … foster mother?”

She looked me in the eyes, whispered, “Yes,” and began to sob.

“Honey, it’s not right that you’ve had to lose your mother twice. I’ll help, and I’ll love you, but, you have to help me, too.”

“I know, Kate. I’ll try.”

“You’ll have to do better than try. Otherwise you’ll lose me, too. But then so would Linda, my kids, and Hal. It’s been really close for me this last weekend. I thought of ending it. I still don’t know if I’ll make it. But I’m going to try, for my wife, my children, you, and Hal.” By this time, I’d joined Annie in dripping tears.

We sat there, and I sensed a change in our relationship. I hoped what I felt was true.

The phone rang, and I gently unwrapped myself from Annie and went to answer it. “Yes?” I said.

“Mrs. Stevens, Dr. Richards is here,” the receptionist told me.

“Damn! Okay, please send him in.”

“Annie, my doctor is here for my daily checkup. Will you be alright?”

Annie wiped her eyes, and headed for her office. “Yes, I think I will. I still can’t get over how much like her you truly are. Thanks ... Mom,” she whispered as she closed the door.

‘Mom? Well,’ I thought, ‘Maybe Annie and I will be all right.’

Dr. Tom came in, and proceeded to poke, prod, and prick my poor defenseless body. “Dr. Ledbetter sent over a time release estrogen patch. We need to place it on your abdomen or hip,” he said.

I removed my skirt, and pulled down my slip and underwear, and Dr. Tom placed the patch on the left side of my abdomen. After putting my clothes back on, we sat down and chatted.

“Do you know how long it will take before I’m anywhere near normal?” I asked.

“Not really, I’m just a glorified messenger. I’m actually kind of fascinated by all of this. I’ve always been a diagnostician, and never really had the opportunity to observe such a radical change in a person’s endocrinology.”

“Great, so I’m just a guinea pig to you!” I snapped back.

Tom didn’t rise to the bait. Instead, he chuckled. “And such a pretty little piggy!”

For a moment, time stopped. Tom realized he’d just potentially pissed off his employer. I confess, I enjoyed the look on his face. Then the absurdity of it all hit me, and I began to giggle at him. “I suppose I deserve that, but can you at least tell me how long I’m going to be so bitchy?”

I could tell Tom was struggling to keep a straight face. “I am not EVEN going to go there,” he said. “First a little piggy, now a bitch ... ? Can we PLEASE not use animal references?”

Ouch. My laughter changed to deep belly laughs, and I simply could not stop. Annie opened the door, “Is everything all right?” she asked.

“Yep, just this lunatic doctor is trying to kill me with what he uses for a sense of humor!”

“Uh, Mom? I don’t think he’s the one seeing the shrink.” Then she began to laugh.

I just groaned.

They say that laughter is the best medicine. For the first time in my life I believed it to be true. The laughter cleared away many of my doubts, leaving me delightfully light hearted.

Dr. Tom left, promising to return the next day. Annie went back to her office, and I made an attempt to read the précis of the presentation for the FDA. I was scheduled to meet with a “medical devices” committee in January to discuss the continued testing of the diagnostic modules Cendar was developing.

Just before noon, there was a gentle knocking on the door connecting my office to Hal and my apartment. “Come in,” I called out. The door opened and there was Hal. He seemed unsure of himself, and slowly walked in. “Hal, thank you for the roses they were lovely.”

“Hi Kate,” he said. With a pleading look in his eyes, he asked; “Can I take you to lunch?”

“I think I’d like that very much,” I said grabbing my coat. “What did you have in mind?” I asked as we left the building.

“I thought maybe seafood today? It’s just a short drive to Legal Seafoods,” he said, escorting me out to the parking lot and opening the passenger door to his Hummer.

“Hmmm ... , I’ve heard about Legal Seafoods, but I’ve never been there, sure, why not?” I said with a smile. Hal closed my door and walked around to the driver’s side.

“I’ve been so worried about you honey,” he said as we left the parking lot. “I don’t know how to help you; I don’t even know how to not make it worse.” He pulled out onto route 3, accelerating smoothly onto the highway. “I’m still having trouble coping with who you are. Sometimes I forget about Beth and John entirely. Dr. Bellows has royally reamed me about this, and will continue to do so. But I see you, and I just want to protect and love you.” I just sat there, letting him talk.

Soon we passed by the Sun Microsystems campus, and pulled off the highway to the Burlington Mall. After parking, Hal opened my door and helped me out of the Hummer. Sighing, I took his arm and let him lead me into the restaurant.

Despite everything, it was softly comforting to have someone so solicitous and caring. That Hal wanted to protect me was clearly evident. We had to wait nearly twenty minutes for a table, and so we sat there on a bench, hand in hand while Hal tried to make small talk.

“I’m so glad your kids were able to come out for the holidays. I don’t think I’d have made it through the weekend without them. You know, I think Tim did real well on the
range, and Lisa has the right instincts to be a great rider. I think she fell in love with Velvet.”

“Who’s Velvet,” I asked.

Hal’s eyes gave a blink or two. “Damn, I did it again. Velvet is your horse — Kate’s horse. It was a bit comical seeing Lisa on Velvet. That horse made her look tiny. Anyway, she did very well. I am trying to get another, smaller horse for her. You know both of those kids are something else. You and Linda have done a fantastic job with them.”

That struck a nerve. I found myself tearing up at the thought of my kids — and how they would react if I did hurt myself. Sometimes love is like a fairy tale; everything is perfect, and no one ever gets hurt. But, sometimes love is like a straitjacket; painful and confining; it limits your possible choices. Life can be an existence where you put up with the intolerable to keep those you love from being hurt. As painful as things were, I knew I had no choice. Ending my life was not an option. The pain it would inflict on Tim and Lisa — much more than even Linda — was something I would move heaven and hell to avoid.

Hal looked at me in concern, “What did I do this time?” he asked. “I thought the kids would be a happy thought.”

“Hal, for being so smart, you are a total idiot. Yes, my kids are a happy thought, but did you ever think about what I am going through? I would have gladly ended my life on Saturday. I could have, would have then ... . but I can’t, now. I thought about my options, and I refuse to do that to my children — no matter how badly you hurt me.”

I turned away and fumbled in my purse for a tissue. As I wiped at my eyes, I felt Hal draw closer, then, a gentle touch on the shoulder. I flinched, but did not pull away.

“Kate, I am sorry. I would do anything to take away the pain. I want you to be happy.”

I looked in his eyes and could not help but sense his love and his pain for me. Timidly he turned me towards him. I began to weep quietly, and allowed him to pull me into a hug. I sobbed into his shoulder as I fought to control my emotions. Yes, I knew, intellectually, that much of the emotional roller coaster was the result of the hormones. Knowing that made absolutely no difference at all to how I was feeling.

Hal made little shushing sounds, holding me tight, patting my back, and kissing my hair. It was nice; eventually I calmed down and dried my eyes. Thank goodness the mascara was water proof.

The hostess informed us a table was ready, Hal asked if we could have a booth instead — preferably private. The Hostess told him it wouldn't be a problem, but would take a few more minutes.

“Kate, would it help if you and Linda went away for a week or so? Just the two of you? I’m sure Annie and I can keep an eye on the kids. Things have happened awfully fast. Maybe a chance to slow down and catch your breath would help?”

“I don’t know Hal, the doctors want to monitor me. I really don’t know what I want.”

“Well, why don’t you talk it over with Linda after lunch? I’m sure something can be worked out, even if it means having Tom travel with you.”

I had never would have thought of that. It seemed incredible that one person could command such resources as to be able to afford what Hal took for granted. As I mulled over this latest thought, the hostess informed us a booth was ready.

I ordered the scrod with a baked potato, while Hal had the wild Alaskan salmon. “Where do you think Linda and I could go?” I asked.

“Someplace warm?” he suggested.

I smiled. Hal knew the only thing I really didn’t like about New England so far was the cold. We spent the rest of lunch chatting. After the earlier emotional outburst, I asked what else he’d done with Tim and Lisa.

Hal was wary; he made it clear he did not want to upset me again. With gentle coaxing he described the shopping trip to the mall, and taking the kids to church on Sunday. I was surprised by the terms he used for church. It was clear my collapse Saturday had deeply affected him. Even more surprising, was his apparent need for a spiritual relationship. He wouldn’t say much of the Mall trip, only indicating that the kids had a ball shopping for Linda and me. The only real detail, was Lisa’s dilemma on whether to shop for me as John, Beth, or Kate. Apparently she was quite comical in her confusion — though Hal refused to tell me who she eventually bought for.

After lunch, Hal wanted to drive back to the office, but I persuaded him to walk with me to the mall. Amongst the Christmas decorations, it was clear some of the stores were already offering Spring fashions. I wandered into the Banana Republic looking at the casual clothes, lamenting the failure of designers to design larger sized clothes. I found a floppy straw hat with a wide ribbon accent that I decided to buy. Rather I chose it and tried to pay for it ... . Hal beat me to the punch. I should have been frightened by the gleam in his eye, but was still logy from the various drugs.

After looking around for about an hour, I was persuaded to return to the office. Annie had a new report for me to read through, and that occupied my time for most of the afternoon.

About 4:00 Annie informed me I had a visitor. Dr. Saul Bellows beamed his broad smile at me as he entered the office. “Hi Saul, to what do I owe this visit?” I asked.

“Well, Hal asked me to check in with you, it seems he has this idea of you and Linda taking a vacation on short notice.”

‘Damn that devious gleam in his eye,’ I thought to myself as I remembered his behavior at the mall. “Annie!” I yelled, “Will you get that devious bastard of a husband of mine in here?” I was beginning to do a slow burn.

Smiling without a trace of humor or pleasure at Dr. Bellows, I asked in my sweetest, most catty voice “Why don’t you have a seat while we wait for Hal?”

Dr. Bellows looked positively ashen, a trick with his color skin. “Uh, I take it you didn’t know?” he managed to stammer.

“No, I most assuredly did NOT know, and Hal is doing his domineering, ‘I’m in charge’ alpha male dominance thing again.”

“Well, I think I’d rather see this anger than the sullen despair of yesterday,” he said. “Think before he gets here. Are you sure you want to fight over this?”

“Damn straight I do. This is one of the things he does that absolutely makes me feel helpless and of no importance. It makes me feel small.”

At that, Hal entered the room. “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” I screamed. “You miserable excuse for a human being; what makes you think you have the right to make arrangements behind my back? Do you remember the last time? I nearly walked out on you. Is that what you’re trying to do? Just say the word. I’ve about had it with everyone telling me what to do and who to be.”

“Kate, please, may I get a word in?” Hal asked.

“Go ahead, let’s see how much deeper you can dig yourself into a hole.” I slammed back in my chair, arms crossed, fuming visibly.

“Okay, first, I’ve done nothing yet. All I’ve done is ask some questions. You and I talked about it at lunch. So, I asked Dr. Bellows what he thought and asked him to stop by. And I did ask Linda for her opinion, but honest, I haven’t made any arrangements yet, except that I asked my travel agent what cruises were available, since you wanted someplace warm and all she did was get the pricing; oh, and I did ask Annie about a couple of gowns for the formal night, ‘cause you can always use them anyway. I talked with Tom about accompanying you, and what equipment he should pack and made sure everything could be packed and ready by tomorrow morning. Then I tentatively asked the field test manager if he could put together a beta set of the equipment if I needed something to bribe the cruise line with. I asked the kids what they thought, and they said it would be fantastic for you both. Oh, I also did ask our pilots to be sure the jet was serviced and ready should anything be decided, and they said it would be fully stocked and fueled by 8:00 am in the morning, and if you were planning a cruise this time of year it would probably be from Ft. Lauderdale, and that’s only 4 hours flight time, but really, I didn’t make any real plans.”

The look on his face was priceless, shock, terror, and fear all played across his face. Here was one of the richest, most powerful men in America reduced to babbling. Finally, a look of abject pleading settled on his face as he ran out of steam. I was suddenly reminded of a little boy caught with his hands in the cookie jar, trying to explain his way out of being caught red handed. He kept going on about the details he’d researched and put into place “just in case” Linda and I wanted to go. Never, ever did he accede to my accusation, while frantically telling me every little detail. I couldn’t help it, when Dr. Bellows began to chuckle I lost it and began to giggle.

Finally, it got through to him that we were laughing at him. He sort of ran out of gas and stood there with a hurt look on his face.

“Okay Hal, relax! But do you hear what I’m trying to say to you? If I am going to survive, you are going to have to stop this. Maybe once in a while it will be okay to “surprise” me. But I am me, not your original Kate. This is one of the things I’ve been trying to get across to you. I can’t exist if you do not give me the space to be me — and respect that.”

“Yes dear, I hear you.”

“May I interrupt?” Dr. Bellows said. “Hal, this is one of the things I’ve been trying to get you to understand. Your fixation on the original Kate is poisoning your relationship with this lovely and delightful woman. If you truly care, you’re going to have to get that through your mind.”

“So Saul, what do you think, can I take a vacation?” I asked, smiling sweetly him.

He laughed deeply. “I think it safe to say you could do with a break from Massachusetts. So, are you thinking of going somewhere?”

“Hal, where are Linda and I going?”

Hal blinked, “Huh?”

“I never said I didn’t want to go, I simply said I wouldn’t allow you to control me.”

“Well, there’s a Princess Cruise Line ship, the Grand Princess, leaving Ft. Lauderdale for the Western Caribbean. I thought maybe you’d like to stay in Ft. Lauderdale for a couple of days, then take the ship and cruise through Thursday, then fly back for the party on Friday the 21st. You’d only miss one sea day that way.”

“What did Linda say?”

“She thought it would be good to get you away from me,” he admitted.

I confess I chuckled at that. Hal just looked a little more hurt. I got up from my desk and walked over to him, and gave him a hug. “I’m not ready to give up on you,” I whispered in his ear. “It’s just this has not been easy for me.” I turned to him and gave him a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“So,” I said breaking away, “when do we leave?”

“In the morning, if you wish.”

“Where will we be staying till the cruise?”

Hal squirmed a bit more, “Well, I thought the Mandarin Oriental Miami; it’s the best in town.”

I laughed. “Okay, since LINDA wants to; I guess I should get packed, or did you have THAT done too?”

“Damn, you’re good ... I had Annie call out to Gowns R Us for some evening gowns, but honest, that’s all!”

“Well Dr. Bellows, since you’ve certified that I’m certifiable, I guess I’ll go. Do you need anymore time today? It seems I’ve a lot of packing to do.”

“No, I guess I’ll be on my way, though I must admit this was an unexpectedly productive session. You should probably plan on seeing Dr. Ledbetter this evening, since I think Hal, just might, perhaps, have arranged that.” He chuckled as he left the room.

I just glared again at Hal.

“Annie,” I called out. She walked in timidly, looking around.
“I don’t see any blood,” she quipped.

I laughed, “No, I decided to let him live intact, for now. It looks like Linda and I are going on vacation. Hal admitted under torture, that he’d asked you to order some things. When will they be here?”

“Actually, because they are three hours behind, I expect them to be in by 8:00 in the morning. I ordered two formal gowns for you and Linda. We can check the fit in the morning. If needed, we can have them altered and delivered to you before the ship leaves. I think you have plenty of clothes appropriate for a cruise in the closets at the estate, so we should be able to outfit you pretty well. Linda can shop off the rack at one of the malls in Florida for anything extra that she needs.”

“Yeah, SHE can find clothes that fit at Banana Republic,” I grumbled.

“Okay then, shall we head on home?” I asked Hal and Annie.

I rode home with Hal. In truth, he was trying, and that was important. I thought he might need a little time with me. I even held his hand, and we chatted about what he and the kids might do while Linda and I were gone.

He didn’t think it would be too hard to occupy them. They were still exploring their rooms and the estate. Hal said he’d arrange horseback riding lessons for Lisa, and maybe driving lessons for Tim. After all, there were plenty of roads for him to practice, on company property. Maybe he would arrange tennis lessons for both of them. In any case, they would stay busy.

Once back at the estate, I called Linda and Lisa into my room. “What do you think I should take on the cruise?”

Lisa roller her eyes at me; “Wow, this is sooo weird; helping my dad? … choose clothes for a cruise as a woman.”

I giggled, “Yeah, isn’t it? So, what do you think?” We sorted through the closet, selecting four casual tops, two pair of Capri’s, two pair of shorts, my swimsuit, a couple of tee shirts, a couple of skirts, and a cute pair of shortalls, that with the two dresses should be more than enough. Of course, Lisa insisted that I try everything on. After my impromptu fashion show, we looked through what Linda had brought, and decided to do a little shopping in Florida.

Sure enough, Dr. Ledbetter showed up just after 6:00. “I have to tell you,” she said, “I’m not real keen on you being away for a week. Your blood work is starting to stabilize, but you’re still critically imbalanced.”

Hal interrupted, “Norma, I’m sending Tom along with one of our prototype diagnostic units. He’ll be monitoring her, and communicating with you daily.”

“Well, that’s something, anyway. Beth, based on your blood work this morning I've changed your patch. Can we go somewhere private so I can show you how to attach your hormone patch?”

Norma and I went up to my bedroom. After removing enough clothes, she showed me where to place the patch — just below my navel and slightly to one side.

“I want you to alternate sides. The patch should be changed every four days. It’s waterproof and you should hardly know it’s there. Understand?”

I told here I thought I could probably remember her instructions. As I put my clothes back on, I asked, “Won't you stay for dinner?”

Predictably, she declined. After leaving enough patches to last two weeks, she left. Dinner was fun — for the first time in days I enjoyed the time around the dinner table. As usual, the food was good. Comfort food; spam, fried potatoes and green beans, yes I know I have weird tastes, but there you are.

Tim was chattering about the observatory on the roof, and Lisa was talking all about our upcoming trip. With the kids talking to the Mooney kids, Simon, Hiram, and Janie all seemed totally befuddled at the “domestic tranquility” surrounding them. After dinner, I invited Simon into my office. It was time for a little chat.

“Simon, I’ve not been at my best the past few days, but before I take off in the morning, I want to make one thing crystal clear to you. I’ve already had a report of you being heavy handed and abusive. This was not entirely unexpected, knowing you as I do, nor is it necessarily a bad thing. You are in charge of IT operations, I expect there to be times when it's your way or the highway. But you will treat my people with respect. Right, wrong, or otherwise, you will treat them as you would be treated. If you do not, Annie has specific instructions on how to rein you in. For instance, you may have noticed the room next to yours is vacant. Annie is empowered to fly to Florida and offer an employment package with Cendar to your ex-wife. She will not, however inform your ex that you currently work for Cendar. Instead, she will move your ex into Stevens Hall, into the room next to yours, as a matter of fact. Moreover, the position she will be offered will be IT employee management liaison; in other words ombudsman for IT workers.

“Can't you just imagine how delightful that would be? But of course, you are going to be a good boy, aren’t you? Of course you are. Oh, and that would just be the start of all sorts of fun things I can think of. But of course I’ll never have reason to do that, will I? No, of course not. I’m glad we had this little chat, and do remember me while I’m away. Thank you for coming by Simon, and I’ll see you when I get back.

I managed to hear a whispered “Bloody Hell,” as he left my office.

Hal walked in as I was desperately trying not to laugh out loud. “What did you say to him? He looked as white as a sheet.”

“Oh, not much, just that if he screws up and bullies people, I’ll move his ex-wife into the room next to his.”

“Ouch, you play dirty.”

“Hal, you said Dr. Tom was going with us?”

“Well, yes. I hope that’s okay with you. I really am sorry for this afternoon, it’s just that I really want what’s best for you.”

“Do you know if he is married, or has a girl friend?” I asked.

“Actually, I think he is pretty serious about someone, why?”

“I was thinking we should probably have her come along — we’ll be paying for a double room, anyway.”

“Good idea. You want to give him a call, or should I?”

“Do you have his number?”

Hal pulled out his PDA and looked up the number. I dialed and Tom answered on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Tom, it’s Kate Stevens. Hal and I were wondering if you had a girl friend that you might want to accompany you? Cendar’s treat.”

“Wow, that’s generous. Yes I do, but I don’t know if she can get off work. She’s working on the diagnostic hardware, and that’s a pretty hot project right now.”

“Tom, you mean she works at Cendar?”

“Yes, that’s where we met, last year.”

“Call her and ask if she wants to go. Don’t worry about her job, I think her boss will be overjoyed to let her go — that is unless they want Hal to be upset with them.” I laughed, “Call me back, and tell her not to worry to much about clothing, Linda and I are going shopping in Ft. Lauderdale, anyway. Be sure she knows Cendar will pay for anything she wants or needs. After all, a happy doctor makes for a happy patient.”

We said our goodbyes, and I spoke to Hal. “I just did it, didn’t I?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I just did to Tom what you did to me earlier, didn’t I?”

Hal nodded.

“It’s kind of nice to have that kind of power. I bet it’s kind of addictive. I’m sorry I jumped so hard on you earlier.”

“No, you were right, I do get kind of domineering,” Hal admitted.

I walked around the desk and we embraced. “Do you love me?” he asked.

Sighing, I looked him in the eyes “I suppose I do, but you are so exasperating sometimes. I can’t constantly be haunted by your expectations and the memory of the original Kate.”

Hal bent down and kissed me. “I love you more than anything. Try to relax this next week, when you get back, then we’ll work on making me a little less a ‘miserable excuse for a human being’ as you so aptly put it this afternoon.”

“Hon, I’m sorry, I’ve been so screwed up the last few weeks. Yes, we will work on both of us.”

The phone rang, Tom said his girlfriend Meredith would love to go, and would meet us at the airport in the morning.

Hal and I went upstairs and joined Linda in the bedroom. We just sat around watching TV until bedtime. Hal said goodnight, Linda and I changed for bed, and were soon asleep.

Wednesday, December 12, 2001

I woke up early, a little after 5:30 in the morning. After brushing my teeth, I pulled on a robe and went downstairs. Grabbing my Bible from the office, I wandered into the gallery. In the northeast corner I found what I was looking for. Pulling a chair over, I sat down. The painting was of Kate, Becky and Tracy, and another woman standing behind them. It was a formal portrait. Kate and the little girls wearing matching dresses. I read a little in my Bible, but I was drawn back to the picture time and again. I don’t know how long I sat there taking in the details. Kate was seated, wearing a necklace with a heart shaped locket and two little half hearts. The little girl’s necklaces each had the other halves of the hearts. Tracy and Becky stood in front of Kate, who had a hand on each of their shoulders, seemingly half hugging, half protecting her daughters.

I sensed someone approaching. Hal walked up behind me, and wrapped his arms around me.

“Good morning, Sweetheart, trouble sleeping?” he asked.

“Not really, just woke up early and thought I’d read my Bible.”

“What are you reading?”

“The book of Ruth; it’s an incredible love story.”

“Well you picked a good location to read about love. Kate absolutely adored the babies. Their death was a horrible blow to her. I don’t know what either of us would have done if we hadn’t had Annie to take care of. She needed so much support and love, and we were the only ones who could give it to her. In helping her, we managed to help ourselves.”

“Do you know the twins look just like Lisa did when she was that age?” I asked.

“Really? I’m not surprised, considering how similar you are to Kate.”

“Who is the other woman in the portrait?”

“That’s Gwen Anderson, Annie’s mom. When I commissioned the portrait it seemed appropriate.”

“She’s lovely, and now that you mention it, I can see a lot of Annie in her. You know, Annie’s calling me ‘Mom’ now?”

“No I didn’t, but somehow it feels right.”

“Are you okay with me going away?”

“Kate, if that’s what you need then it’s more than okay. I’ll miss you, but you already knew that. I want you well, and I know that I’m mostly to blame. Hey, are you ready for breakfast? I’m sure we can find something. I could make you an omelet if you like.”

“Sure, that sounds good. Wait a minute, you mean I can really go into the kitchen? Vikki never lets me in there,” I said jokingly. Hal just laughed

We walked into the kitchen and I watched as he began to gather ingredients. Hal took the leftover potatoes and spam from the night before out of the refrigerator. He grated the potatoes to make hash browns. While the potatoes cooked, he made an enormous omelet with some dried onion, the leftover spam, and cheddar cheese. I was “allowed” to make toast and set out tea and orange juice while the food was cooking. It was fun, just doing something so simple with Hal.

About the time the food was finished Vikki came in, and being suitably scandalized, banished us from the kitchen. While Hal and I laughed, Vikki served us in the breakfast nook; adding fresh fruit to what we had prepared.

Hal and I chatted amongst the flowers as the sun rose in the east. Surprisingly, he asked if he could plan our itinerary for Thursday and Friday, promising that we would have a good time, but asking if he could leave the details a secret. It was so out of character for him to ask, I smiled sweetly and told him sure, I’d trust him on this, but remember to include Tom and his girlfriend. Near the end of our meal, I asked Vikki to prepare a breakfast tray for Linda. When it was finished, I took breakfast up and served Linda in bed.

“Well, you seem chipper enough this morning,” she quipped.

“Maybe my body’s adjusting to the hormones, but I do feel better this morning. Are you ready for our adventure?”

“You better believe it. I can’t wait to get you alone; I intend to work my evil ways on you!” Linda made suggestive faces at me.

Laughing, I left her to finish her breakfast and crawled into the shower.

I dressed in woolen slacks, and layered a thin white sweater over a pale blue blouse, and a heavier sweater over that.

While Linda showered and dressed, I woke Lisa and Tim. In case you’ve never had the pleasure, waking a 15 year old teenage boy on vacation can be a challenge. Waking one whose been playing on the computer till late at night is even harder. I finally threatened to pour water on him if he didn't get up.

Lisa and Tim went down to breakfast While Linda and I finished packing.

I went to my jewelry case, and looked for the necklace I had seen in the portrait downstairs. Sure enough, the locket with the hearts was there, as were the half hearts that Tracy and Becky had been wearing. I found two longer chains, and placed the half hearts on them. Fastening the locket and hearts around my neck, I pocketed the other two.

Annie was downstairs, and I asked if she would come into my office for a minute. When she came in, I asked her to close her eyes, and I placed one of the necklaces around her neck.

When I told her she could open her eyes, she turned and looked in the mirror, “Oh my God, do you know what this is?” she asked, bursting into tears.

“Yes I do. Since you’ve decided to call me Mom, I wanted you to have something to remind you of me while I was gone.” I pulled my necklace out where she could see it. “You want my love, and I want to give it to you. Will you wear that necklace for me as a reminder?”

Sobbing, Annie nodded, and I pulled her into a tight embrace. “I think, under the circumstances, the original Kate, the twins, and even your mom would approve.”

I reached for a tissue, and helped her dry her eyes, “Come on. I’ve one more person to reduce to tears this morning. Let’s go find Hal.”

Hal was in the atrium, chatting with Tim and Lisa. “Hal, could you join Annie and me for a moment?”

When Hal joined us, I pointed out the necklace, and handed him the remaining half heart. “I’d like you to wear this while I’m gone. I know the chain is a bit dainty for you — you can get a heavier one. But I would love to have you reminded of me while I’m away.

Hal’s eyes teared up, “Kate that’s very sweet of you, but do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yes I do, remember where you found me this morning? I practically memorized every detail of that portrait. This feels right to me.”

“As long as you know, yes, I would love to wear it.”

I reached out and placed it around his neck. It looked vaguely silly, such a dainty feminine chain around his macho neck.

While Hal, Annie and I were in my office, the FedEx truck arrived with the promised gowns. Annie and I gathered Linda and went upstairs to try them on.

***********************

Hal entered his office downstairs and called Jeeves, requesting him to come down to the office as soon as convenient. Five minutes later he entered the office.

“Good morning Andy; who is our best security officer?”

“That depend on how you define “best.” If you mean in combat skills, probably Pat Newmeyer. He’s young, fast, and smart, and when it's called for, mean as a snake.”

“Is he married or single?”

“Single, no one has been able to pin him down.” Jeeves laughed, “He has quite a reputation with the ladies as a matter of fact.”

“Next question, of our single female agents, who has the best EMT training?”

“That would be Sheila Rose. What is all this leading up to?”

“I’d like to have a team accompany Kate and Linda; quietly and unobtrusively. A “married” couple who just happens to go on any excursion Kate chooses would seem to be the least conspicuous. And honestly, I don’t want another tongue lashing from Kate. Damn, she has a temper.”

“Well, it’s your own fault you know. I wouldn’t like being manipulated either.”

“Your point is well taken, Andy. Will you make the arrangements? I’d like them to have the cabin next to Kate and Linda. I suppose I’m going to have to call in some favors, but I want them protected. And one other thing. Can you arrange to have them met at the airport in Miami, two officers to act as “tour guides” for Kate.”

“That’s no problem; I’ll contact Sheila and Pat and get them moving. Is Kate armed?”

“Damn, I forgot to suggest that. Kate likes a SIG P226. Can Florida provide one, and the necessary documents? Can we get permissions from the British and Mexican Governments for Kate to carry while in the Caymans and Cozumel?”

“I’ll call the consulates and see what can be arranged,” Andy replied. “We may have to offer something in return, maybe early production models of the new diagnostic stations?”

“I suppose, maybe you could request a representative of the Ministry of Public Health to participate in the final documentation and development to facilitate the Spanish documentation. Offer to pay all expenses. Offer a complete set of the current and production models of the equipment. Really get their attention. If necessary, a little 'mordida' may be needed. Just do what it takes.”

“Okay, consider it done.”

“Thanks, Andy. Please just make sure Kate is safe.”

“Hal, everyone at Cendar wants her safe; I’ll do everything I can.”

***********************

The gowns fit exquisitely. After Annie packed them in a garment bag, the three of us went back downstairs.

“Well, are we ready to go?” Linda asked as we came down the stairs.

“I think so,” I replied. “Andy told me he’d brought our luggage downstairs.”

Linda and I hugged the kids, told them to be good. I put on a coat — it had snowed, again; picked up my purse, and went out to the car. Annie, Hal, Linda and I left for the airport with Andy driving.

We made good time to the Beverly Airport, less than half an hour. With everything and everyone loaded on the plane, Hal took me into his arms, and kissed me like there would never be a tomorrow. He was an incredible kisser. I felt like I was the center of the universe, and the only thing that mattered in his world. His kiss sent shivers down my spine that were not the result of the 23 degree weather. “Have a good time, I’ll see you next week,” he said.

I climbed up the stairs and into the plane. The stewardess closed the door, and within minutes we were airborne.

When we reached our cruising altitude, Tom unbuckled his seat belt, and introduced us to his girl friend, Meredith Lewis. “Meri, this is Linda Williams, and I think you’ve met Kate Stevens before? And this is Annie Anderson. Ladies, this is my fiancé, Meredith Lewis.”

“Fiancé? When did that happen?” I asked. “Last night she was just your girl friend.”

Meredith blushed brightly. “Well, she needed help getting everything ready, and I’ve been looking for an appropriate time to ask her to be my bride. When I went over to her house this morning, I popped the question, and she said yes!”

“Congratulations. I’m really glad you were able to come along with us. I don’t know what Tom has told you, but my doctors think I need a vacation, and I also need a babysitter. So ... . Tom got drafted, and I didn’t want him to be lonely. Please anything you want or need, just let Linda or me know.” I walked over to the stewardess and requested champagne. As soon as it was served; “I propose a toast, to the newly engaged couple, may God richly bless you and your union.”

“Does anyone know anything about the hotel we’re staying at?” Linda asked.

Annie sighed, “Yes, and I’m so jealous. The Mandarin is incredible. The spa will really pamper you, and the views are magnificent. You won’t want to leave.”

“I don’t think we’ll be there all of the time. Hal asked to schedule Thursday and Friday; and there is absolutely no telling what his devious mind will come up with.”

Annie suggested Linda and I try on the gowns provided for us, and unsurprisingly, they fit perfectly. “Meredith, did you bring a formal with you?” Annie asked.

“Call me Meri, please. No, I was hoping to rent something on the ship.”

Annie pulled out a tape measure and clipboard. “How about I see what Gowns R Us can do for you?”

“You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

I just laughed, “Nope. All you need to do is tell Annie what you would like, let her measure and prod, then get out of the way. It’s like being in the middle of a hurricane!”

“Mom, no it’s not!”

“Oh yes, my dear, it most certainly is. Do you have your samples on the laptop?”

Annie measured Meri, and I helped, inputting all the details into her laptop. The measurements were quickly turned into a three dimensional model complete to hair style, coloring, and face shape. Soon, we were all gathered around the computer screen looking at various designs. Looking at the samples on her personal model; Meri decided on a strapless dress with a deep v neckline ruched over the mid-section flowing into an asymmetrical mid-calf length skirt all done in a deep electric blue silk. Annie suggested a second and Meri chose a highly beaded LBD that showed off her legs to great effect.

Annie pushed her process button; the computer worked on the designs for a few moments and announced there was a file ready for uploading to the manufacturing department. Annie loaded the file onto a CD and requested the pilot to have it sent to the “Gowns-R-Us boutique. A few minutes later, the stewardess informed us the pilot had successfully transferred the file to Las Vegas.

Annie and I went into the bedroom where I could talk privately to her. “Can you do a clutch purse in the same fabric for both of those gowns?” I asked.

“Certainly, mom.”

“Okay, here’s what I’d like you to do tonight. Get Hal to open my jewelry cabinet. There’s a great string of black pearls and earrings that would go well with the LBD, and I think I remember a sapphire cabochon necklace and ear rings for the blue dress. Would you overnight them to me at the Oriental?”

“No problem. Are you playing matchmaker?” she asked with a silly grin.

“Of course; Don’t I have a wicked track record of matching people together to protect?” I smiled mischievously.

“You know, I keep saying it, but sometimes it’s scary just how much you act like the original Kate.”

“I hope that’s a good thing.”

“Of course it is, Mom,” Annie and I shared a hug.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, and we touched down at Opa Locka Airport. It had been a short flight; the time was 11:30 am. We taxied into the general aviation area, and as we left the plane, two Ford Suburban SUV’s pulled up beside the plane. A pleasant looking man in his mid thirties got out of the first SUV, and a woman in her 20’s exited the second.

The lady walked right up to me; “Mrs. Stevens?” she inquired.

“Yes, I’m Kate Stevens, and you are?”

The two drivers held out their ID’s, both Florida, and the much harder to duplicate Cendar card. “Gerri Klein, and this is Ed Moore, we’re with Cendar Security. We’ve been assigned to provide you with transportation and to guide you around while you’re here in Miami. Here is your Florida CCW, a two-way radio direct to our monitoring station, room keys, and traveler’s checks. I also have credit cards for Dr. Thomas Richards, and Meredith Lewis. Mr. Stevens has requested that we be available to you at any time for the next few days. So, should we get started and take your luggage to the hotel?”

“Why do I need a CCW permit. I’m not carrying anything.”

“Mr. Stevens suggested that you probably should, and we will provide you with a SIG P226 when we get to your hotel. Probably just overkill. You’ll have one of us with you all the time, but better safe than sorry.”

Hal’s paranoia and efficiency are frightening to behold; providing what I assumed, (knowing Hal), were armored SUV’s seemed a bit excessive, but it was thoughtful of him.

The flight crew had placed out luggage in the vehicles, so there was little to do but say goodbye to Annie and the flight crew; then climb in and start our vacation.

It was about a thirty-five minute drive to the Mandarin Oriental. Our luggage was handled by the bellman, and we went upstairs to check out our rooms.

You might remember that I was impressed by the Bellagio. I was overwhelmed with the Mandarin. Our suite had a separate bath, a relaxation area, a kitchen, sitting area, and two separate bedrooms. The “relaxation area” contained a hot spa, a deep soaking bath, glass enclosed steam room, and a tear drop ceiling fountain. Tom and Meri’s suite was next door. Stepping out on the balcony revealed views of Biscayne Bay and the Miami skyline.

After settling in, I went into the bedroom and changed into a tropical print top, and khaki shorts. I went back into the sitting room while Linda changed into more casual clothes.

Gerri was in the sitting area. “Mrs. Stevens, I know you’re a capable shooter, and Mr. Stevens indicated your preference was a SIG P226 with two 16 round magazines. This one is equipped with tritium sights, and a Lasermax internal laser sight. I’ve also provided three different purses with built in holsters. There’s a backpack style, a classic style in black, and a casual shoulder bag. Not knowing your preferences, I also purchased a fanny pack style.”

I took the backpack style and transferred the contents of my purse to the backpack. Stepping next door, I asked if Tom and Meri wanted to go shopping this afternoon or what would they like to do. I also gave them the new Cendar backed credit cards and told them to use the cards for anything they wanted on the trip.

Meri was all up for shopping, while Tom was typically male in his response. Kind of a half hearted, “If you want to, Dear,” response. Linda was ready by the time I walked back to our room. Off we went, four women (well, three plus me), and two men getting ready to assault the mall.

Gerri recommended the Galleria as having the best selections. After parking, Linda, Meri and Gerri went straight to Banana Republic, while I took Tom aside. “Tom, have you purchased an engagement ring yet?” I asked.

“Not yet. I asked on the spur of the moment. What with getting ready for this trip I ran out of time to get a ring before we left.”

“Can I be snoopy?” I asked.

“That depends. What do you want to know?”

“What do you know about diamond rings?”

“Not much, why?”

“Well, while Meri and Linda are shopping in a store that doesn’t carry my size clothing, would you like to look for a ring while we are here?”

“I don’t have a checkbook with me, so what’s the point?”

“The point is, you need to get her a ring, and it’s partly my fault you haven’t done so yet. Besides, it’s fun, so let’s look. Money really isn’t an issue if can find what you want. Come on, it’ll be fun!” I took his hand and pulled him down the mall. “If you find something, I can put it on my card and you can take care of it later.”

“Does she like yellow or white gold?” I asked, “And do you know does she like solitaire or square cut? What’s her ring size?”

Tom just kind of sputtered, like I was speaking in tongues or something.

“Sheesh, don’t you know anything about jewelry?” I asked.

“Not really,” he confessed as I pulled him into a Zales Jewelry store.

“Okay, let’s start simply. What color jewelry does she wear?”

“Ummm, I’m not sure.”

“Think! When you’re kissing her; is her necklace silver or gold? How about her ear-rings. Are they silver or gold?”

“Mostly gold, I think,” he said.

“Okay, let’s go with gold then. How big a diamond do you want to get her?”

“Big?” he guessed.

“Tom, you’re hopeless.”

“Look here, why don’t you look in the case and tell me what you like.” I turned to the salesman, “Can we see what you have in a 1 to 2 carat diamond solitaire engagement ring?”

The salesman was like a shark smelling blood in the water. He quickly laid several trays of rings on the counter. Tom just stared at them with a total lack of comprehension.

I just sighed. I separated the true solitaires from those with accent stones. “Now Tom, do you like this style, or this?” Tom chose the rings with accents.

“Very good. You see, you can do this.” I had the salesman put the rejected tray away — no sense in confusing the poor boy.

I separated the rings again. This time, I put in one row, the rings with round cut center stones, in another the pear shape, in another the square cut, and finally, the rings that were more metal than stone.

“Now Tom, do you like the round stones, or one of the other shapes?”

Tom looked through the rings and finally decided he liked the marquise cut diamonds the best. By process of elimination, we had gone from over 98 rings down to 3.

“See? Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” I teased.

“So now what do I do?” he asked.

“Go get Meri and see which one she likes, but stress how much research and time you put into this. Which one do you like best?”

He pointed to a ring that was narrow, the center marquise stone accented by 2 smaller square cut stones on either side. I asked to see the IGL certification. The ring was yellow gold, the center stone was a very good marquise, Color F, and VS2 clarity. The two side stones were not certified, but the salesman told us they were each  ¼ carat, Color D VS2 clarity. I explained the details to Tom, so that he could at least appear to know what he was doing.

I thanked the salesman, said we’d probably be back, and, my, but your prices are high. He paled at the thought of a lost sale, and I suggested that if we came back, he might want to rethink the price on that particular ring — especially in light of the fact the side stones were not certified. I smiled sweetly and waved as we left the store.

We got to the Banana Republic just as Linda and Meri were finishing paying for their purchases. They wanted to go down to Abercrombie and Fitch; Tom asked Meri if they could stop at another store first. Slightly puzzled, Meri agreed, and we all followed Tom back to Zales.

It was hysterical. Tom showed her the rings, and then attempted to explain the ring he liked, and hoped that she liked also. Unfortunately, he got all the details wrong, and I sniggered as Meri struggled not to laugh when he described the ring as being a very good cut, marquise clarity VS2d ring. He tried to look and sound sure of himself, but in the end he could tell he’d blown it and we were laughing with him.

“Look, I like this damn ring. I don’t know anything about diamonds or jewelry. If you like this one, we’ll get it, or you can choose your own, or, oh hell!” He jammed his hands in his pockets and stared intently at has feet as his face turned bright red.

Meri looked at him, threw her arms around his neck and gave him a huge kiss. “I absolutely love it. Thank you, and I absolutely love you, too — even if you don’t know a thing about jewelry.”

Tom looked at her in shock, “You mean it?” he said.

“Of course, Honey. It’s a beautiful ring. Let’s see how it fits.

After the build up, it was almost anticlimactic when the ring slid on her finger, a perfect fit.

Proving that he was at heart a romantic, in spite of everything, he took her hand and dropped to one knee, and said, “I love you Meredith Louise Lewis, will you marry me?”

Meri tearing up, nodded, and pulled Tom to his feet and kissed him again, while everyone in the store clapped and cheered. While they were liplocked, I discreetly spoke with salesman, and suggested the price was too high. He spoke with his manager, and after figuring out that I was serious, discounted the ring by twenty percent. Considering the store probably had a two to three hundred percent markup, a 20% discount would hardly dent the store's profit margin. I winced only slightly at the cost; $5450.00 plus tax. He ran my credit card while Meri was still showing the ring, twisting and turning the stone to catch the light. I slipped the receipt into my purse and asked. ”Who’s ready for more shopping?”

Altogether, we spent the best part of the afternoon shopping. Gerri mentioned that we had 6:30 reservations at Azul, the 5 star restaurant at the Mandarin, so we all raced back to the hotel to get cleaned up and presentable. Gerri changed in the second bedroom, while Linda and I helped each other. I took a moment to call home and chat with the kids. They were, as promised, having a great time. Hal was pleased when I told him of Tom’s engagement — it seems he had known about the romance, but hadn’t known how serious it was.

At 6:15, I was had just finished dressing, and called down to the maitre`d to request a nice vintage champagne to be ready for an engagement party. Linda, Gerri and I went downstairs to find Tom, Ed, and Meri waiting in the lobby.

As we entered Azul, the view practically took my breath away. Floor to ceiling windows looked out over Biscayne Bay. The kitchen was open, marble clad and magnificent. We were seated, and Meri just absolutely glowed. Two dozen white roses were delivered to Meri during dinner, with a note of congratulations from Hal.

The cuisine at Azul was very different than any I had ever encountered. Who would ever have thought of drizzling chocolate on foie gras and then serving it with cherries for an appetizer? The entrée I had was ginger studded crispy snapper, glazed with a Vietnamese sauce, Mango Slivers and Kim Chee Vegetables. It was strange, but wonderful.

We said our goodnights, and Gerri suggested getting to bed early, as there was a full day planned for Thursday. When I tried to get the details, she smiled enigmatically and told me, “Mind your own business. It’s to be a surprise. But, please be up, ready to leave by 8:30 am. Be prepared for a day of moderate exercise outside, so dress accordingly and wear sturdy shoes.”

After dinner, Linda and I retired to our room, and enjoyed a deep and sensuous intimacy until we fell asleep late in the evening.

Thursday, December 13, 2001

I woke to sound of knocking at the door. Linda was up, and answered the door. It was room service. I put my robe on and padded out to the sitting room. “Good morning, Hon,” Linda said, “I ordered breakfast, I hope you like it.”

I sat down to bacon and eggs, toast and juice. “Thanks, Babe, I wonder what’s on the schedule today.”

“Knowing Hal, it’ll probably be exciting — and expensive. We need to hurry to get ready, Gerri said she’d be here about 8:15.”

Linda and I finished breakfast, showered and dressed. Instead of a purse, today I chose the new fanny pack, packing only the essentials. 8:15 Gerri came to the door, and Linda and I were ready. We met up with Tom and Meri, and Ed in the hall. Gerri led the way, and we followed. I was puzzled when she pushed the top floor button of the elevator, but she just smiled at the look on my face. Exiting the elevator, she led us to a stairway that went to the roof.

Once on the roof I saw a helicopter in Cendar livery, rotor slowly turning. “Hal thought you might like to see the everglades and the Keys today, so this morning we’re flying to the Everglades National Park for a quick tour, and then we’ll fly down to Key West for lunch and sight seeing. Late in the afternoon, we’ll fly back up the Keys, and be at the hotel in time for a late dinner.

We climbed aboard the helicopter, and the pilot introduced himself as Max. Max checked that we were properly fastened in, brought the rotor up to speed, and we took off. We flew southeast out over Biscayne Bay before turning south over Key Biscayne.

Max changed course once we were past Homestead Air Force Base and headed directly for Shark Valley Visitor Center, Everglades National Park. Once there, we boarded a tram and toured the freshwater marsh. The variety of bird life was amazing, and of course, there were the obligatory alligators. When the tram tour finished, we were hustled back aboard the helicopter for a short hop across to the Gulf Coast Visitor Center.

Here the mode of transportation was by boat. Occasionally we would see the snout of a manatee breaking the water's surface. Once we found ourselves surrounded by a pod of swimming dolphins. The boat cruised through a maze of the mangrove harbors with an incredible assortment of marine and bird life.

From there, we flew directly to Key West. Max landed at the airport, and we took a taxi down to Duval street. Ed and Gerri suggested THE signature bar in Key West for Lunch, so we walked into Sloppy Joe’s. The crowd was loud and boisterous, and as we entered, someone grabbed my left breast. I swung around, and someone else pinched my butt. I jumped straight up and looked around, but there was no way to tell who it had been. Linda looked at me, blushing I told her what had happened, and she burst out laughing. Leaning over, she whispered “Well, you WANTED to be a girl … welcome to the club.”

Sloppy Joe’s was a favorite of Ernest Hemingway, it’s an informal, raucous bar and grill, famous since the end of prohibition. I had a Sloppy Joe (duh), while Linda opted for the house salad, and between us we split an order of conch fritters. It was a fun and noisy lunch, with live entertainment — though the best entertainment was the people working and playing there. Desert was, you guessed it, Key Lime Pie — heavenly!

From Sloppy Joe’s we wandered down to the harbor, and in and out of the little shops lining the streets. There was so much to see, I suggested we rent bikes, and soon we were rolling through the quirky, artsy town.

Too soon, it seemed, Gerri and Ed shepherded us back to the airport, and just before sunset, we lifted off the ground. If you’ve never had the chance to see a sunset from a helicopter flying over the ocean, then you’ve missed one of the most spectacular sights in the world. Max followed US Route 1 back to Miami, and shortly after 7:30 we landed at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel.

Linda and I said good night to everyone, and retired to our room, where we ordered a light dinner and relaxed before turning in for the night. If Wednesday night had been sensuous and intimate, then tonight was hot and wild. We started in the spa, relaxing to the caress of the water jets. Later we moved from the water’s caresses to a more intimate personal caress. Linda wound up on my lap, straddling my fully inflated penis. I’d never made love in a spa before. The combination of warmth, loving embrace, strategically placed water jets, and arousal pushed me to one of the best climaxes of my life. Linda opened the valve, and we showered off. Linda dried and brushed my hair out, and then I returned the favor. Freshly bathed and powdered, we finally went to bed.

Linda had other thoughts than sleep though. She made a big production of examining my left breast, and yes, the asshole who’d grabbed it earlier bruised it. Linda’s “Should I kiss it and make it better?” led to a wonderful series of kisses. I had noticed that my nipples were a bit swollen and tender — though I thought it too soon for the hormones to have had an effect. It felt good beyond belief. Soon, I scooched around so I could kiss and nibble hers at the same time. Pretty soon, I had moved a bit further down, and Linda no longer paid much attention to my boobs. She had other concerns as I did my best to discover how many climaxes she was capable of in one night. I felt incredibly loved and cared for. Linda finally asked me to stop, and I turned around to hold her.

I was beginning to doze off when Linda surprised me. I was lying next to Linda, more or less on my back, with Linda snuggled against my breast and right side when Linda clicked her remote control, and I found myself becoming hard. “Now, what should we do about THIS?” Linda giggled. I suggested opening the valve and letting me go to sleep. “Oh no, my pretty; no sleep for you!

Linda rolled over on her back, and pulled me on top. My breasts hung down and she quickly latched on. With a moan of pleasure, I entered my beloved, and made love in the most conventional of positions. One of the nice things about my surgery is that I do not become soft as soon as I climax. I was able to continue until she was fulfilled; then, in our post coital afterglow I was able to remain inside her as we held each other. Finally, when she was ready, my valve was opened, and I gradually deflated.

We wound up falling asleep, naked and intertwined.

Friday, December 14, 2001

I couldn’t remember that last time I’d awakened so contented. It was late, after 8:30; and Linda was still asleep. I got up, relieved myself, and showered. I woke Linda, and was just getting dressed when Gerri called. “I just wanted to be sure you are up. You and Linda have appointments at the hotel spa at 9:30. Enjoy!”

I turned to Linda and told her. She smiled at the thought of a day of pampering. We unpacked our bathing suits, and walked down to the spa. I won’t bore you with a blow by blow description, but it was totally and completely decadent. The treatments lasted until dinner, and included treatments for hands, face, body, feet, and soul — it was heavenly. I kind of blissed out with a goofy smile on my face about halfway through.

Linda and I lazed our way back to our room. We wound up ordering room service, and watched movies on the in-house movie channel.
Afterward, I called Hal to check up on the kid. “Hi, Honey. How are the kids?”

“They’re having a great time. Lisa is learning to jump her new horse, Corona. It’s all I can do to get her to come in from the stable. She’s really enjoying it. Tim had his first time behind the wheel. Andy took him up to the Nashua site; you would have thought he was competing in the Indianapolis 500 from the excitement in his voice.”

I laughed, “Well it sounds like they’re having fun. Speaking of fun, thank you; yesterday and today have been the most incredible days in forever. I really appreciate all that you’ve done.”

“Kate, I need to tell you something, because if you found out without me telling you I’d be in the dog house again. I really REALLY do not want that.”

Smiling at the sound of desperation in his voice I replied, “Okay, what did you do THIS time?” I hoped he could hear the amusement in my voice.

“You know Ed and Gerri, your tour guides are really security officers?”

“Duh ... I figured that out as soon as I closed the doors on the armored car they drove up in.”

“Please don’t be angry, but I’ve arranged a team to be with you on the cruise. The only time you have to see them is on shore excursions. Honey, I just needed to be certain that you are safe.”

“Oh Hal, it’s not that big a deal, and I appreciate your concern. Thank you for letting me know, though, ‘cause you would have been in it deep if I’d found out from someone else. You know, this has become one very expensive holiday.”

“Babe, you’re worth it. Anything I have, anything I can do, whatever it takes I’ll do for you. You just have a good time. I’ve called in some favors, so you might be in for a couple of private tours not normally open to passengers. Just have fun, rest up for the holidays.”

“Thanks, Hon, talk to you soon. Night”

“Good night Kate, sleep well.”

Worn out from relaxing, well fed and content, Linda and I went to bed and fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

Saturday, December 15, 2001

This time I could remember the last time I had been this contented; it was the morning before! I smiled at the memory, and reached over to kiss Linda awake. I noticed the message blinking light on the phone, and when I checked, it was Gerri letting Linda and me know she would pick us up at 9:00 for an appointment across town. She didn’t tell us what the appointment was.

So, a shower, dressing and breakfast later, Gerri picked us, and Meri, up. When asked where we were going, all we got was a cryptic “You’ll see.”

Gerri pulled up to a Victorian style townhouse, and told us, “Mr. Stevens ask that we take you to the best salon in Miami. This is J Sisters, and they have an awesome reputation for nails and waxing. Mr. Stevens also asked that I tell you to get whatever treatments you desire, he wants you to enjoy yourselves.”

Meri, Linda, and I walked up the steps and entered the salon. “Oh … my … gosh,” Meri exclaimed, “This is the salon that introduced Brazilian bikini waxing to the US.” (I cringed at the thought). Linda noticed my reaction, and laughed.

One of the owners met us, and we sat down to determine exactly what we were going to have done. We all agreed on manicures and pedicures. Meri and Linda both decided to get a bikini wax, and ganged up on me until I agreed. I wanted a facial, and maybe to get my brows shaped. Meri wanted a cut and styling. Linda decided on getting rid of her grey streaks and adding highlights.

Six hours later, Gerri picked us up. Linda and I decided to return to the hotel and just lay around the pool for a while. I knew, (boy did I know), no stray pubic hairs would show.

We dressed for dinner, and tried the hotel’s other restaurant, Café Sambal. Like everything else about this amazing hotel, the food was fantastic. We were joined by Tom, Meri, Ed and Gerri.

After dinner, we took a long walk on the beach and let dinner digest. I was feeling well rested, at peace for the first time in months, and really looking forward to the cruise.

We all stopped at the lobby lounge and enjoyed a late night glass of wine. Linda and I said our goodnights, and went up to bed.

Sunday, December 16, 2001

Linda and I woke about the same time, to a brilliant sunrise streaming into our bedroom. I rolled over on top of her. “I love you, are you ready for another day in paradise?”

“You better believe it, Lover. Want to wash my back?” she wriggled her eyebrows at me.

“That’s the best offer I’ve had today.”

We enjoyed a slippery, soapy shower. It was still early, so after dressing we went down to the lobby for breakfast.

Café Sambal sits right off the lobby, and Linda and I had a great view of the people coming and going. Our waitress had just finished serving us when Annie and Hal walked into the lobby. I jumped up from the table and rushed out to greet them. “What are you two doing here?” I asked as Hal swept me into a hug and kiss.

“We wanted to deliver a couple of things and see you off,” Annie said, while Hal’s kiss went on.

“And I wanted to see you before you left,” Hal said while I gasped for air.

“You Nuts! What time did you get up to get here?” I asked, while hugging Annie.

“Actually, we left last night and slept on the plane,” Hal explained.

“Have you eaten? Come join Linda and me,” I said, walking over to our table. Linda got up and hugged Hal and Annie before we all sat down. We ordered more food, and had the waitress take away our cold plates.

“One of the big reasons we came down, is we’re bringing an entire diagnostic suite down for the Grand Princess; levels one and two prototype hardware units, remote telemetry package, and the diagnostic computer. We’re also providing a tech rep for the next sixty days. And finally, we brought enough supplies to run tests on the entire ship’s population. Tom will be using it on you for monitoring, and I decided — unless you overrule me, it is your division after all — to install the equipment and provide training as part of our testing program.”

“Besides,” he said with that infuriating grin, “it opened a lot of doors, and got promises for many extra privileges for you and Linda. I think the equipment is being delivered even as we speak.”

We finished breakfast, and Linda, with a twinkle in her eye leaned over to whisper to me, “Do you want to take Hal to our room, or not? It’s okay if you don’t, but he certainly has been nice.”

“Annie, would you like a tour of this most amazing hotel?” Linda asked, giving me an opportunity.

“That would be nice,” Annie replied. “I hear the spa is fantastic.

“Hal, would you like to help me finish packing?” I asked — knowing that everything was packed and ready to go.

“Sure, if you’d like me to,” he said helpfully, innocent as a lamb being led to slaughter.

“Great, come on,” I took his hand.

Once in the elevator, I punched the floor number and turned to kiss Hal. His reaction was immediate, and urgent. We reached the floor, and thankfully, no one was in the hall. I opened the door, and he immediately saw the luggage — packed and ready for the porter.

“Hmmm, I thought you needed help packing?”

“Actually, I was thinking more about loving.” I kicked off my shoes and resumed kissing him. Between the kisses and caresses, we managed to undress and find our way to the bed.

“Damn, you feel so smooth and soft,” he said kissing his way down my body. “You know how sexy this looks?” he asked touching my pubic hair. “It’s like a tiny landing strip. And the skin on either side is smooth as velvet.” His kissing and touching was getting me aroused. When I reached and fondled his penis and testicles, he groaned in pleasure.

“Would you please come inside me?” I whimpered.

Hal, knelt between my thighs and applied lube to me and him, and gently entered. It was wonderful. Hal is a masterful lover, and he built the pace slowly and steadily. I climaxed once, and was ready for him to just finish, but he had other plans as he began to again kiss my breasts. Maybe the hormones were working already, his touch was electric, and I felt myself again approaching climax. Hal really began thrusting faster and deeper. The power and strength of his climax when it came was enough to push me over the edge again.

“Oh my ... . That was incredible,” I sighed when I could breathe again. I snuggled deep into his side.

“I take it I’m forgiven?” Hal asked, mock seriously.

“Well, at least for this morning,” I replied smiling.

He pulled me to my feet, and we quickly rinsed off in the shower before getting dressed again.

I asked Hal if he would deliver Linda and me to the ship, and he said he thought something could be arranged. He pulled out his cell phone, and called Annie, telling her to come upstairs with Linda, and then our “tour guides” and asked if everything was ready. He smiled, and called for a bellman.

Annie mentioned delivering a gown to Meri, and that they would meet us on the ship.

After the bellman took our luggage, Hal, Annie, Linda and I took the elevator to the top floor and up the stairs to the roof. “Hal, don’t you think this is just a little excessive?” I asked, grinning at the helicopter.

“Well, it makes an impression when you arrive in one, and I really wanted to impress the ship’s crew as to your status.” I just shook my head as we climbed aboard, and strapped in.

“Hi, Max,” I called. Max, as usual, just kind of nodded. He powered up the helicopter and we took off and flew north to Port Everglades. Max circled the port, where three cruise ships were docked, a scene of frantic activity. Max circled in closer to the Grand Princess.

A makeshift helipad had been marked on the concrete apron next to the Grand Princess. Max landed, and as the four of us exited, we were met by the Senior First Officer.

“Good Afternoon. Welcome to the Grand Princess. I’m Sarah Matthews; the Captain has asked me to expedite your arrival, and to show you to your suite. If you will follow me please?” Sarah led us through the maze that was Port Everglades. “Normally, we only allow ticketed passengers on board, but we felt you should see where your equipment will be installed.” As we entered through a cargo hatch, Sarah handed Linda and me our stateroom key/ID cards. “Please smile, and insert your card in this kiosk,” she asked, pointing to a security point. Linda and I did as requested, and were rewarded with beeps from the machine, indicating that our picture had been taken.

We followed her up a stairway to the Gala deck. “This is where our medical center is located. Dr. Francis Connors is our senior physician. I’ll leave you in his care. The Captain has extended his greetings, and will send an officer to escort you to the Bridge at 6:00 if you would care to observe our departure?”

Linda and I gratefully accepted. Sarah introduced us to the Doctor and returned to her other duties.

“Mr. and Mrs. Stevens, it is a great privilege to meet you. I’ve been watching the development of this technology for several years now, and am delighted to participate in your final trials.” Dr. Connors led us around the Medical Suite, explaining the operation, and pointing out the state of the art equipment. “You may not know, but we were the first ship to have tele-diagnostic capabilities. We work with the Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles, California. But this new capability takes us to a whole new level”

Hal and I watched for a few minutes as the Cendar tech unpacked the equipment. “If you’ve any questions, one of our staff physicians, and his fiancé, who worked with the program development — both from the development team — will also be aboard this trip. Kate will introduce you to Dr. Tom Richards and Dr. Meredith Lewis, later today or tomorrow.”

“Wow, do you always provide this level of service?” Dr. Connors asked incredulously.

Laughing, Hal said, “No, but when my wife goes somewhere, I like to be certain all the bases are covered; especially since she is Dr. Richards’ patient.”

“Nothing serious, I hope?”

“Serious? Yes. Life threatening, no,” I answered. “Hal is just a big baby about my safety.” I smiled at him to let him know I wasn’t upset.

“Well let’s get you upstairs so you can get unpacked. Dr. Connors, can you point the way?”

“Certainly,” Dr. Connors looked at our tickets, then led us out of the medical center and to a bank of elevators. “Just take the elevator to the Lido deck, and turn towards the bow. Your stateroom is on the port side, just past the Neptune’s Reef pool.”

Hal, Annie, Linda and I followed his instructions and found our stateroom with no difficulty. I thought I had entered a flower shop. There were flowers everywhere.

I turned to Hal …. “Yes, guilty, I had the flowers delivered. Don’t shoot me!”

Annie and Linda burst out laughing; I just gave him a mock glare. Then I smiled, “Thank you, they’re lovely.” Hal breathed a sigh of relief.

“Annie and I need to leave soon. We both wanted to be sure you got to the ship and see you off. So ... . If I can get a kiss, Annie and I will leave and let the two of you relax.”

Proving impossible, as usual, Linda proceeded to kiss the hell out of Hal, while I gave Annie a long hug.

I tapped Linda on the shoulder, “Okay, my turn,” Linda grinned from ear to ear and turned to hug Annie. Hal was in shock, so I put my arms around his neck and picked up where Linda had left off.

I stepped back, and smiled up at him. “Thank you for everything, I’m sure we’ll have a delightful time.”

“You just be careful. Tom and Meri are across the hall.”

Proving once again the inexhaustible depths of his paranoia, he continued, “Next to you will be Pat Newmeyer and Sheila Rose, your protection officers. On the other side will be our tech rep, Dr. Doug McCue, and his wife Nancy. Pat and Sheila are armed and will accompany you on shore excursions. Damn, I almost forgot.” Hal reached into his jacket pocket. “Keep these ID cards with you anytime you are carrying. The British and the Mexican Government issued these credentials. They were damned difficult to obtain, but again, you are more than worth it.”

“Hal,” I said gently, “I'm not going to need these. It's a cruise ship, not the bloody wild, wild west.”

“Just be careful, Hon. I feel safer if you have something at hand if things go sour.” He turned, “Annie, if you’re ready, we need to get back to Massachusetts before the kids tear everything apart.”

Annie and Hal each collected one last hug and kiss and left.

“Babe, you are going to give him nightmares doing that!” I said, laughing, to Linda.

Linda just stuck out her tongue at me. “And did you screw his brains out back at the hotel>” she teased.

“No, but he certainly made love to me with an amazing intensity. I think I need a nap.”

“Hmmm ... . Sounds like a good idea. Come here!”

We pulled back the covers, and practically ripped our clothes off. Linda took charge, inflated my penis, and climbed on top of me. I must admit, I was really beginning to enjoy letting someone else take charge during sex. I climaxed just before Linda, then we lay there dozing until the ship’s announcement system startled us awake.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 4:00. I suggested to Linda that we might want to get up and moving, so after a quick shower, I fixed my makeup then we dressed. For me, it was a skirt and lightweight sweater.

I sat at the table in the living room looking at the literature and map of the ship. It was huge! It has been compared to a small city, and that was no understatement.

At 10 minutes before 6:00 there was a discreet knock. I opened the door. “Mrs. Stevens?” a uniformed woman in her early twenties asked.

I nodded my head. “And this is Mrs. Linda Williams, my best friend.”

In delightfully accented English she said, “Mrs. Stevens, I’m Claire Woolsey, Senior cadet aboard the Golden Princess. Captain Breton has asked that I escort you to the bridge. If you ladies will follow me?”

Claire led us forward, through a locked door, up a short stairway and onto the bridge. The bridge of the Grand Princess extends out past the sides of the ship in such a way as to be able to see the length of the ship. Having worked for Raytheon, I was not surprised to see the bridge looked more like a computer center than anything else. Clair led us to an officer with 4 stripes and a sunburst on each of his shoulder boards. “Captain Breton, my I present Mrs. Katherine Stevens, and her companion, Mrs. Linda Williams.”

Captain Breton was a well built sandy haired man with steel gray eyes. He looked to be about 5’ 10” and spoke with a pronounced English accent. “Mrs. Stevens, how very good to meet you. I trust you’ll enjoy your stay with us. And you also. Mrs. Williams,” he said as a sort of afterthought.”

“Please, Captain, if you are comfortable doing so, call me Kate. Linda is my best friend, but she is also Cendar’s Chief Operating Officer for West Coast operations.”

With that, Captain Breton gave Linda a reappraising look. “Very well, Kate, I’m honored. We will be slipping our mooring in about 30 minutes. If you ladies would like to look around, please feel free. I’ve instructed all of my officers to grant you ever courtesy possible.”

Captain Breton proceeded to show us the various controls and visual information screens around the bridge. At 6:15 he excused himself, and went over to the helm, where he talked with the port pilot. At 6:30 precisely, Linda and I watched from the wing of the bridge as the heavy cables mooring the ship to the pier were slipped. There were at least six. (I lost track). forward. and 6 aft. The engines began to thrum and at the pilots direction, the 110,000 ton ship pulled away from the pier at Port Everglades.

Linda and I stayed on the bridge for another 30 minutes until the pilot left and departed the ship in a small launch.

“Well, that was neatly done. May I escort you ladies to dinner?” Captain Breton asked.

“Why yes, thank you Captain. That would be lovely,” I said. The Captain offered his arm, and I let him lead us to the Di Vinci dining room on the Fiesta deck. Throughout our walk, he entertained us with information about the ship.

We were escorted to a table for eight. Dr. Tom and Meri were already there, as was a couple I did not know, and a woman Captain Breton introduced as his wife Lois. Tom introduced the other couple as Pat and Sheila Newmeyer, Cendar security officers.

“That does lead me to a rather thorny issue. I’m neither used to nor comfortable with having armed persons aboard my ship. I trust you shall be discreet, shall we say, and that I will have no reports of gun toting maniacs running loose on my ship?”

Pat laughed at that. “Captain, believe me, none of us want anyone to know that we are armed, nor do we want to be obviously identified as being anything other than happy tourists. It’s fine to treat Mrs. Stevens special, and that is simply because she is. She is one of the richest and most powerful women in the world. But the rest of us are simply “tourists” as far as anyone else is concerned. In fact, if convenient, having one or two of your more conspicuous security officers accompany them will allow Sheila and me to do our jobs more effectively.”

The wait staff brought our menus. After a few minutes we placed our orders for appetizers, soup, salad, and entrée.

“Very well Mr. Newmeyer, we’ll do it your way. I will ask that you meet with the Staff Captain and acquaint him with your needs and capabilities. I trust that should something untoward were to happen you will obey his orders and directions.”

“Certainly Captain; if you will have an officer make the proper introductions I will meet with him? Her? At their convenience.”

“Excellent. The Staff Captain is Nicholas Bourne. I’ll have someone escort you in the morning, say, 9:00?”

“Great, thank you for your cooperation.”

“One must bow to the inevitable. My orders were quite specific, let me assure you.”

“Captain, I certainly hope we are providing something worth all the trouble we are putting you to.”

“My dear lady, if your equipment works half as well as my medical staff seems to think it will, I would be willing to do nearly anything you could possibly ask or imagine. With the threat of terrorism, and the frequent outbreaks of illness within the cruise industry, anything that augments the medical department is a godsend.”

Conversation slipped into more friendly topics, as we chatted and ate our way through five courses. For me that was, proscuito wrapped melon, beef consume, Caesar salad, and prime rib; all of it unbelievably good. I split a crá¨me Brule with Linda, feeling virtuous in not ordering more!

After dinner, Linda and I went forward to the Princess Theater and watched the evening’s live entertainment. It was better than I expected; with a comedic magician headlining the act.

Linda and I explored the ship after the show. We stopped in at one of the bars, the Wheelhouse Lounge, and listened to an excellent jazz trio. I’d finished my drink (a sweet concoction called a Marco Polo), and the waitress brought another and a glass of white wine to Linda. I told her that we hadn’t ordered it, and she pointed out a couple of 50 something men sitting across the room, and said they had sent them to us. I looked at Linda, “What do I do now?” I asked.

I picked up the drink and took a sip, Linda looked me straight in the eye, “Just look over at them and smile. And unless you really want to get laid, do NOT do anything else at all.” At that, I sputtered, dribbling sticky red liquor down my blouse. Linda laughed uproariously.

I dabbed at the liquid before I looked over to the table and smiled. Then I turned to Linda. “Now THAT was uncalled for!” Then my angry glare broke into a fit of giggles. “You don’t really think they were making eyes at me, do you? It’s you they’re interested in, I’m just sitting here.”

“Hon, there are men who love plus sized women. And don’t look now, but guess who’s walking this way?”

“Oh Lord, no!”

“Relax; just be sure they see your wedding bands. Unless they’re total assholes they’ll take the hint and back off.”

“Good evening, ladies,” the first one said. “My friend and I noticed you’re all alone, which seemed such a shame for so lovely a pair of ladies. Would you mind if we joined you?

Linda, noticing my discomfort, invited them to sit down, Do you like jazz too?” She asked.

I said, “Thank you for the drink. We’re about ready to leave, we’re on an early morning excursion.

Linda scooted over by me making room, “I’m Linda, and this is my best friend, Kate.”

The second sat next to me, “I’m John and this is Rob, what do you think of the music?”

“The music is better than I expected. I enjoy jazz, but my husband’s really the connoisseur.”

“Is your husband on the cruise?”

“Nope. He and Linda’s husband are both busy this week.”

“Too bad, he doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“I know,” Linda said, “but Kate and I have been looking forward to a girl’s only trip, forever!”

“Yeah,” I said; “Pampering all week long, no responsibilities, and wonderful food.”

“And no sex!” Linda exclaimed, and I had the presence of mind to give her a high five.

The trio finished their set, and one of the cruise director’s assistants began setting up for Karaoke. Rob and John were enthusiastic, wanting to participate; all I wanted to do was run away. Linda looked at me, “But you just LOVE Karaoke,” she teased.

John ordered another round over my protests.

Linda huddled over the Karaoke lists with them, much to my chagrin, and John and Rob were amongst the first requests turned in.

By this time, I was feeling the third drink. There must have been more liquor in the drink than I had thought.

Rob was called first, and he did a credible job on an old show tune, “On the Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady. John was next, with “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” an old Elvis hit. Unfortunately, he sang the song while staring at me. Next, the host called “Now, with ‘Man I Feel Like a Woman’, Kate Stevens!”

I glared at Linda. While I have a reasonably decent voice, I did not intend to sing tonight. John had ordered yet another round, and EVERYONE was urging me forward.

Against my better judgment, I allowed myself to be pushed forward.

The music began.

“Let’s go girls!”

If I was going to make a fool of myself, I decided to go all out.

“I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright”
“Gonna let it all hang out”
“Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice”
“Yeah, I wanna scream and shout “

The crowd started clapping along and I really began to vamp it up. All to soon, I was at the end of the song.

“I get totally crazy”
“Can you feel it”
“Come, come, come on baby”
“I feel like a woman”

The audience clapped politely, except to one table that went totally crazy. I wasn’t the only one making a scene. Linda, John and Rob were screaming and whistling. I was totally spent from the adrenaline rush. I got back to the table and Linda gave me a hug. I drained my drink in one long gulp.

“You were fantastic,” John said. Rob agreed, and Linda nodded — the traitorous bitch, oh was I going to get her later! We sat for a few more minutes, watching lame renditions of songs ranging from show tunes to rap.

“Oh, look at the time,” I said. “We need to say good night. Thanks, again for the drinks.”

The guys stood up, Linda and I shook hands and beat a hasty retreat to the safety of our room.

Linda started singing as we entered the elevator.

“Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady”
“Men's shirts-short skirts”
“Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style”
“Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction”
“Color my hair-do what I dare”
“Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel”
“Man! I feel like a woman!”

Once we reached our room, I turned to Linda; “Oh my gosh, I’ve never been so scared!” I said, “and YOU, argh!! I pushed her to the bed.

Linda was rolling on the bed laughing so hard she couldn’t even sit up. “I do think John had the hots for you,” she said, triggering another laughing spell.

“You were no help!” I said, smacking her with a pillow.

“Girl, you just are to hot to handle. Bet you could of got laid by either or both of them!”

“Linda!” I wailed. “You’re not helping!”

“I know, but watching you blush is soooo much fun.”

I flounced off to the bathroom, washed up and got ready for bed.

Linda jumped in bed a few minutes later, turned over, and pulled me close. “I love you; this has been the best vacation I’ve ever had. You are truly my best friend, the love of my life, and now my best girl friend. Thank you, John Beth Kate.” She kissed me, and pulled me into a snuggle as she patted my head and gently rubbed my back.

“You know?” she whispered, drifting off, “We could have kissed and said we were lesbians,” she giggled. Her breathing slowed, becoming steady as she fell asleep. I was asleep shortly after.

Monday, December 17, 2001

I woke to find Linda had slipped out of bed. After using the bathroom, I looked and found her on the balcony, wearing a bikini, and reading a LaVyrle Spencer novel. The weather was warm and balmy, and I was glad to see our balcony was private. In one corner was a hot tub, and I slipped my nightgown off and settled in. “I need this today. I had way too much to drink last night. Be a dear, and get me a big glass of water,” I pleaded.

Linda brought a pitcher of water, and one of orange juice. I let the spa knead the stiffness out of my body. “What time is it?” I asked.

“9:00. We’ll be in Princess Cay in about an hour, according to the Princess Patter. Want some breakfast?”

“Oh yes, definitely, with tea?”

Linda chuckled, “You shouldn’t have drunk so much.”

“You had just as many,” I protested.

“Yes, but I sipped mine, and there was less alcohol.”

Linda slipped inside and ordered breakfast while I drank water and orange juice. After 15 minutes of pummeling by the water, I got out, showered off, and pulled on my swimsuit. I wore a pair of shorts with a tee shirt over it. Pulling my hair back in a pony tail. I wrapped it with a scrunchie.

Today we were going snorkeling. Linda and I both prepared beach bags, and yes, I carried my backpack purse. I knew I would catch hell if I neglected it.

Linda and I knocked on the door, and Tom and Meri were ready to join us. We were met at the tender by a polite young woman with a security brassard, “I’m Delores, and I will be your escort today.” We boarded the tender and proceeded to the beach.

Princess Cays are part of the island of Eluethera; Princess had purchased land and turned it into its own tropical paradise. Leaving the tender, we walked through the “village” and rented snorkels and masks before walking north to the reef.

Linda and I had fun looking at the brightly colored fish. One in particular I would have liked to bring back for an aquarium. It was a bright electric blue, with a dazzling yellow vertical stripe.

I wound up laying out on the beach. Linda went to get soft drinks; Meri agreed to slather my back with sunscreen, and the three of us baked in the tropical sun.

About 1:00 Tom suggested lunch, so we packed things up and went to “Grill Crazy” the island BBQ restaurant. It was fun to sit in the shade, eat BBQ and listen to Caribbean music played on steel drums. After lunch, Linda, Meri, and I went back to serious sunning, while Tom sat in the shade, reading Red Rabbit, the latest Clancy novel.

3:00, we packed it in and headed back to the ship. I’m sure Delores was happy to have us back safely aboard so she could get on with more important tasks.

Linda and I showered, dressed “smart casual” as defined by the day’s activity list, and headed off to afternoon tea. Afterwards, I couldn’t resist the casino. We spent an hour, and about $100.00, proving the management had a good thing — but it was fun.

After dinner, we caught another show, and then turned in early.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

I woke up feeling MUCH better than on Monday morning. Linda and I ordered room service, and we ate breakfast on the balcony. Tuesday was a “sea day” we spent the day cruising to our next port. Mid morning, we could see the island of Cuba off to the west.

I had decided to learn to dance. Hal would be taking me places where it would be expected, and the ship offered ballroom dance classes. I signed up for morning and afternoon classes. Linda declined, stating: “I have already mastered the feminine terpsichorean social graces, so run along, my little ugly duckling; you need all the practice you can get!” This was followed, of course, with a derisive laugh. I just stuck my tongue out at her.

To tell the truth, the classes were brutal. I had no idea “dancing” could be so physical. The morning left me drenched with sweat. A light lunch with Linda and it was back to the salt mines. In the afternoon session, I was surprised to find John from Karaoke night. We hit it off, and were paired for the afternoon. John asked if Linda and I would be in the ballroom in the evening, and I told him that I certainly hoped so. There was something predatory about his smile, but I sloughed it off, attributing it to my lack of experience with men.

After the dance lesson, I hurried back to my room for a quick shower before Linda and I were due at the salon.

Now, I admit, I was reasonably proficient with my makeup. However, tonight was the first “formal” dinner. When I was exclusively John, (well, more or less), I had found the whole concept of a “formal” dinner foreign to me. As Kate, though, I was adamant about presenting my best; therefore, a trip to the salon for a complete makeover. They did a professional hairdo and makeover, and then Linda and I dressed in our evening gowns. I was confident there were few women who would come close to the class and elegance Linda and I presented.

We were among the first in line for “formal” portraits. Afterwards, we attended dinner in style. The ladies were elegant, the gentlemen handsome in their evening wear. The dinner was, as expected, wonderful beyond words.

Linda and I finished dinner, and strolled down the promenade deck to the ballroom. There John and Rob joined us and we began to dance. I traded off with Linda a couple of times, winding up with Rob more often than not. After five or six dances, the heels I was dancing in began hurting more than I was willing to endure. I told Linda I was going to change, and John offered to walk me to my room.

We rode the elevator to my floor, and chatted amiably about the dinner and the dance. I inserted my room card and entered my room. I heard the door close behind John, then felt an enormous blow and pain in the back of my head. Then all went black.

When I awoke, there was something in my mouth; my arms were tied, spread-eagle to the headboard. My clothing had been ripped from my body, and I felt a great deal of pain in my head.

John stood at the side of the bed, stroking himself. “I’m glad to see you are awake, my sweet. I know you like it rough. I know you’ve been lusting after me from the first day. Then today, dancing with me, rubbing your body against me, I knew you were the perfect slut. Cheating on your husband; as if he would ever let someone as pretty as you out of his sight. I pegged you early on as being an easy cunt. You are someone who wanted a real man. Well babe, I’m here, and I am SO glad you like it rough.

John climbed on the bed, between my thighs. He tried to enter me. “What the fuck! Where’s your fucking cunt? Damn girl, you must be horny, to want sex so bad. What a fucking freak. Damn, I’ve never known a whore without a cunt. You must really want it bad up the ass.”

He lifted my legs and brutally rammed his dick up my bottom. He reached down and bit my breasts, first one then the other. Grunting he thrust deep inside me. I’ve no idea how long he raped me. It was one scene from hell to another. Finally, his hips bucked violently against me, and I knew he had climaxed deep inside.

As he became flaccid, he became violent. He began hitting me with his fists. “You fucking cunt.” He hit me with his fist. His fist slammed into both sides of my face, then my nose. “You wanted this so much, well bitch, you got it.” He slugged me on my upper chest, I heard a bone crack as my left collar bone collapsed. He withdrew, and wiped his penis off against my abdomen. He leaned close to my face.

“Listen carefully, you fucking slut freak. If you say anything to anyone, neither you nor your friend will make it off of this ship alive. And anyway, no one will believe a fucking slut cunt like you. You are just a piece of ass, a fucking freaky worthless piece of ass. You’re a fucking worthless piece of shit. No one cares about you. If they did, you would never have invited me to fuck you.

He got up from the bed, looked at the damage he had done, walked up close to my face, and leaned down; “if you tell anyone, you and your friend are dead. You’re just a worthless piece of shit. No one cares about you. You’re just a worthless freak, without even a normal pussy.” The last thing I heard, was his laugh before he slugged me, and when I woke up, the room was in darkness.

I lay there I don’t know how long. John was right. I was a freak. If he was right in that, maybe he was right in everything. Had I encouraged him? I didn’t think so, but, he never would have followed me unless I encouraged him, would he? Was a smile enough to merit this? I kept coming back to the truth. I was a freak. I was in hell. My world collapsed down around my head. If I was a slut, and if I encouraged this, then, how could I continue to live?

Kate wasn’t a slut. John wasn’t a slut. Beth wasn’t a slut. But if I was a slut, then who was I? John spoke truth. I was a freak. If that was truth, was everything else true? Had I invited him? If I did, was I then the slut he said I was?

My depression deepened. If half of what he had said was true, I did not deserve to live. I lay there in the darkness. Finally, I knew who was at fault. If was me. I was the trollop. I was the whore. I was the woman battered beyond belief.

The light came on. “Kate, are you here?” I heard Linda calling; I turned away to the best of my ability. Linda entered the bedroom. “Oh my God! Honey, what happened?” she asked as she began to untie my bonds. “Kate, can you hear me?” she asked, and through the pain, I nodded yes. “Babe, let’s get you into the bathroom.” As she moved me, I screamed in pain as the broken bones of my clavicle rubbed raw against each other. My left arm dangled helplessly. As she helped me off the bed, I could see her react to the blood, sperm and feces on the bed.

It was a look of total disgust. Even Linda was disgusted with me. “Who did this?” she asked.

“John,” I mumbled through swollen lips.

She helped me into to bathroom, and I stumbled/sat down on the toilet. “Kate, can you hold on while I get Dr. Tom?”

Numbly, I nodded. Linda left me there on the toilet, and went in search of Dr. Tom.

I looked around. There was nothing there.

I stumbled into the living room, saw my purse, grabbed it, and headed to the bar. I grabbed a bottle of vodka, and went back into the bathroom, trailing blood everywhere I went.

From my purse, I took out the bottle of Vicodin given to me so long ago, at the beginning of this misadventure. I poured a glass full of vodka, and swallowed the Vicodin, followed by the vodka.

‘So, it has come to this,’ I thought. There were no tears left. All that was left was pain. I hurt for my loss. I hurt for the thought I could no longer love or be loved. I hurt for the pain I knew my kids, and yes even Linda and Hal would feel. I needed the pain to stop.

I ran a full tub of water, poured in bath oils and turned the Jacuzzi jets on low. I slipped into the bath. The warmth of the water was like a gentle hug.

‘Done,’ I thought. ‘Lord, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. I just can’t hurt like this any longer. Please forgive me’ I pleaded. ‘Watch over Tim and Lisa, help them to understand.’ Things began to blur a bit. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I lay back, the water enfolding me in the last hug I would ever know. I turned up the hot water, and relaxed. The heat, the alcohol, and the drugs took me away, and there was no more.

To be continued

They say everyone has a twin somewhere. What do you do when your twin is dead and her rich husband fixates on YOU?

Many thanks to my original editor Wendy, and my new Holly and Stan. Props to Maggie for her encouragement.

Though no more than 10 minutes passed since Linda left Kate sitting on the toilet, it seemed to take an eternity to find Dr. Tom. As he rushed to Kate’s room with Linda and Meri, he called Pat and Sheila.

When Linda opened the door she immediately knew something was horribly wrong. There was blood everywhere. She rushed to the bathroom only to find the door locked. “Kate, Honey, open the door,” she shouted, pounding as hard as she could. There was no answer.

Comdex — Repercussions Chapter 5
Copyright 2004/8 Beth Williams.

Cruise Ship Golden Princess, at Sea, 2240 hours EST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Though no more than 10 minutes passed since Linda left Kate sitting on the toilet, it seemed to take an eternity to find Dr. Tom. As he rushed to Kate’s room with Linda and Meri, he called Pat and Sheila.

When Linda opened the door she immediately knew something was horribly wrong. There was blood everywhere. She rushed to the bathroom only to find the door locked. “Kate, Honey, open the door,” she shouted, pounding as hard as she could. There was no answer.

“Excuse me, Linda,” Pat gently pushed her aside, then backed up and kicked the door in. Tom rushed through, immediately seeing the Vicodin bottle and could smell the raw alcohol of the vodka.

He turned the hot water off, and the cold water on full. Flipping the drain lever open he turned the shower on the unconscious woman. “Damn, damn, damn! Not this time; you were doing so well. Fuck! Meri, call the medical center, get a gurney up here stat! Then get me a drip, ringer’s lactate. And, uh better get me 20 ml of epinephrine.”

“Kate, why?” He struggled getting the body out of the bathtub and onto the floor. He threaded the IV line in and started the drip.

“Where’s that fucking gurney?” he shouted.

The gurney arrived, accompanied by Dr. Connors. “What the bloody hell has happened here?” was his not so professional question.

“Looks like attempted suicide after being brutally raped and sodomized,” Tom informed him.

“Oh God! Let’s get her to the surgery.” Tom and Dr. Connors, with the help of Meri and Pat managed to get the body onto the gurney, and left at a dead run for the medical center, Linda following close behind.

Sheila’s face grimaced into a mask at the violence done to Kate. Violence she and Pat were supposed to have prevented. “Do you want to make the call or should I?”

“I don’t care. God, I’m sick over this.”

Pat unpacked a satellite phone and dialed Jeeves’ private cell phone. “Hello?”

------------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 2250 hours EST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

“Boss, it’s Pat. We have a problem. Kate has been severely beaten and raped. Looks like she tried to end it all and they are rushing her to the ER right now.”

“Damn! Okay, what’s your next port of call?”

“Grand Cayman, we’ll arrive in about 7 hours.”

“Pat, do you have a perp?”

“We have a partial name, but no one in custody.”

“Okay, see if you can acquire him quietly. The gloves are off — and I mean all the way. If you can’t quietly take him into custody, we will pick him up in Ft. Lauderdale. Wait, change that; instead, Pat you stay with Kate at all times; armed - Openly armed and uniform. In addition, I want Sheila glued to Linda’s side. Am I clear on this?”

“Yes sir, guard Kate and Linda. Use whatever force is necessary.”

“Crap, what a mess, I’ll get things started from this end. Expect to be medevaced as soon as you reach the Caymans; possibly before. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yes sir.”

Jeeves hung up the phone and walked down to Hal’s bedroom. Knocking, he went right in. “Hal, Kate’s been hurt, bad. Raped and beaten, she’s in the ER right now. I’ve instructed Pat and Sheila to guard them. I’ve told them deadly force is authorized. I suggest you get dressed; I’m calling in a security team, the pilots, and Dr. Bellows if I can get him.

“Oh God, not again! … What’s the prognosis?” Hal sprang out of bed, and then fell back heavily, his face drained of all color as the news sank in.

“Hal, I don’t know. Pat indicated she tried to kill herself after the rape.”

“Okay, Andy, let me get dressed. I’ll tell Annie, and she can tell the kids in the morning.”

Hal quickly dressed. Outside of Annie’s room, he paused, knowing how much a blow this would be. “Annie?” he called, “I need to see you. Are you decent?”

Annie was reading in bed. “Come on in,” she called. Hal entered the room, and Annie went pale at the look on his face. “Hal, what’s happened? Oh God, it’s Kate, isn’t it?”

“Annie she’s been hurt. Someone raped and beat her. We don’t have much information yet, but I’m leaving for the Caymans as soon as the plane is ready. I need you to tell the kids in the morning.”

Annie looked as though she had been slugged, then the tears began to flow. “She doesn’t deserve this,” she wailed.

Hal sat on the edge of the bed, holding the distraught weeping girl. “No she doesn’t, but we’re going to go get her and bring her home. I’ll do anything for her, you know that.” Annie nodded. Hal continued, “Annie, I’ve got to get things moving. I hope to be airborne within the hour.”

-------------------

Jeeves walked to the Security office, and called the duty office at Cendar Security. “This is Andrew Jeeves; let me speak to the watch officer.”

“Bill Reilly here, what can I do for you sir?”

“Bill, I need a rescue team. Mrs. Stevens has been badly hurt, and we may have to acquire the perpetrator. I expect four officers will do, pack tactical and forensic equipment, and wear casual clothes, I expect them at Beverly airport within the hour. We’ll be in the Caribbean, so have them pack accordingly. And while you’re handling details, get a good trauma nurse to the airplane as well.”

“Yes sir. I’ll get it done.”

Next, he called the two most senior pilots for Cendar. Jeeves instructed them to prep the Boeing business jet for departure within the hour, and to be ready for a medevac mission.

Finally, he called Dr. Bellows. “Dr. Bellows, it’s Jeeves at Stevens Hall. I’m sorry to wake you, but Kate’s been raped and tried suicide. Can you fly down with the team to pick her up?”

“What? … Certainly; where do I need to go?” Jeeves was grateful for the quick decision.

“How soon can you be at the Beverly Airport?”

“Let me throw some clothes on, tell my wife what’s going on, and I should be there in half an hour or so.”

“Dr. Bellows?” asked Jeeves.

“What?”

“Thanks, from the bottom of my heart. I owe you for this.” Jeeves voice cracked with emotion.

----------------------

Annie dressed and packed an overnight bag and dried her eyes before she walked down the hall, and knocked gently at Lisa’s door. “Lisa, are you awake?” she called through the door.

In answer, Lisa opened the door. “Hi Annie; what are you doing up so late? Have you been crying?”

“No, just the sniffles. I’m working on a project and I need your grandmother Williams phone number, I want to contact her about Christmas and things.”

“Sure, here I’ll write it down for you, but couldn’t this wait until morning?”

“Well of course it could, but I wanted to get everything lined up. Besides, it’s 3 hours earlier out there, remember? I’m going to have a very busy day, and if you were asleep, I knocked quietly enough that it wouldn’t wake you. Anyway, thanks, good night!”

Puzzled, Lisa wished her good night, and went to bed.

Annie went back to her room, and dialed the number Lisa had provided. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Mrs. Williams?” Annie asked.

“Yes, and who is this?”

“Mrs. Williams, this is Annie Anderson, I’m the personal assistant to Kate Stevens, your son John.”

“Annie, how nice to meet you, even if it is by phone; both John and Linda have mentioned you.”

“Mrs. Williams, I’m sorry to say that Kate, that is John, has been raped and beaten. If I arrange transport, can you come here to watch Tim and Lisa while Hal and I go and pick Kate up?”

“Oh my God, how badly is he hurt?”

“Actually it looks pretty bad. I also think it would be a good idea for you to be here for a while. Kate is going to need you. Can you come?”

“Yes, of course. Let me pack a bag. What airport should I go to?

“Mrs. Williams, I’ll have a driver there as soon as possible, but it will probably take a little while to charter a flight at this time of night. Oh, what airport would be best?”

“Ontario, Okay, I’ll pack and wait, do you think I should tell John’s brother?”

“Mrs. Williams that is something you would know better than I, but I’ll say Kate’s condition is pretty serious from what little we know.”

“It’s still early; I’ll go ahead and call him. Thanks Annie.”

“I’ll see you soon, bye.”

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Cruise Ship Golden Princess, at Sea, 2300 hours EST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

EKG leads, an oxygen canella and an oxygen monitor had been attached, and the vitals, while depressed, were stable. An IV dripped into her left arm. Additionally, Kate had been catheterized by Tom.

“Tom do you know what she’s taken?” Dr. Connors asked. “And by the way, call me Frank.”

“My guess is Vicodin with a vodka chaser. Let’s get a nasogastric tube down her, and start lavage. In addition, do you stock blood? If so, let’s push a unit of O negative, she’s lost quite a bit.”

Dr. Connors pulled necessary equipment together, and they quickly started washing out the contents of her stomach. The nurse returned with the required blood and started it through the IV.

“Do you have N-Acetyl cysteine in stock? I’m afraid of the liver damage from all the Acetaminophen in the Vicodin.”

“Yeah, and we can start a narcotic antagonist to counteract the hydrocodone.”

Pat walked through the door. “Mr. Stevens has been notified, and my orders are to not let Kate out of my sight.”

“Yeah, right,” Dr. Connors stated. “At the moment, you stay the hell out of the way and we might be able to save her life.”

“Sheila is with Linda, with similar orders.”

“Nothing like locking the barn door after the horse gets out, is there?” Pat turned red, but did not reply; the truth was, he felt the same way.

With the first drugs administered, the doctors turned to other tasks. “Can we get a set of x-rays; at least of the skull and upper torso?” They monitored her condition while a technician rolled in the equipment. As soon as the X-rays had been taken the technician took the plates away for developing.

Finally having a few moments to do nothing but observe, Dr. Connors called the bridge and informed the watch officer of the attack. A few minutes later, Captain Breton himself arrived. Dr. Connors, with Tom, explained what they knew so far and led the Captain over to Kate. She lay there, unconscious, both eyes swollen nearly shut. Traces of blood could be seen around her nose and mouth.

“My God, what happened to her?”

“As near as we can determine a passenger named John raped and then beat her savagely. Linda can positively ID the man who escorted Kate back to her room, and Kate told Linda that John had raped her before she tried to suicide.” Tom explained.

Pat interrupted. “I’ve been told to expect a medevac flight as soon as we dock — assuming the Doctors approve it.”

The technician came in with the x-rays. The doctors looked at them. “Damn, would you look at that? The nose is broken, and it looks like the TMJ may be all screwed up; and then there’s the clavicle … well, looks ugly, but it can wait.”

“Yeah, but there’s no cranial fracture that I can see,” Tom noted. “And the fractured clavicle is something we can go ahead and start treatment on with little difficulty.”

Tom watched as Frank set Kate’s broken clavicle by gently forcing her left shoulder back, allowing the clavicle to line up naturally. Once in place, a figure eight bandage held the bone in position And ice packs were applied to reduce the swelling.

“Captain, I suspect Mr. Stevens will be bringing someone to investigate this. I dare say, Cendar Security has greater resources than Princess Cruises. We’ll provide complete records, but since the prosecution for this act will take place in a US Federal Court, I want to be sure we preserve the chain of evidence,” Pat said.

“Normally, I would protest that in the strongest terms. However, given the circumstances I’ll have my master at arms coordinate and cooperate with you and Cendar.”

“Thank you for that. Would you order the room sealed until the investigation can begin?”

“Certainly, I’ll to that presently. Gentlemen, please keep me informed,” Captain Breton said as he left the Medical Center.

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Dorothy Williams’ Household, Corona, California, 2020 hours PST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

“TJ, it’s your mother.”

“Hey, Hi mom! What’s going on?”

“John’s been hurt — badly I’m told. Can you get some time off?”

“Lord, what happened?”

“I don’t have many details. His company just called. I’m flying out as soon as they get a driver here. Do you think you can get some time off?” she asked again, “I’m scared, and I would appreciate it if you could go with me.”

“Well, I have the vacation time available. What time is your flight?”

“Apparently Cendar, John’s company is chartering the flight. Can you be to the airport in Santa Barbara in an hour?”

“Mom, if you think it’s that important, of course I can. I’ll be waiting.”

“Thanks, TJ, I appreciate it. I love you.”

“Love you too; see you in a little bit.”

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Cruise Ship Golden Princess, at Sea, 2315 hours EST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Linda sat in the lounge area of Golden Princess’ Medical Center. Sheila sat next to her, acutely aware of her own failure to protect Kate.

Sarah Matthew, the Senior First Officer came into the lounge. “Mrs. Williams? I hope you remember me from your first day. I’m Sarah Matthews, and ship’s security is my responsibility. We’ve put together a compilation of photos of male passengers named John. Are you up to looking through them? We would like to make a positive identification of Mrs. Stevens’ attacker.”

Linda looked through the photos. There were thirty-seven photos. The twenty second was Kate’s attacker. “That’s him, John Maxwell.”

“Mrs. Williams, are you sure?”

“Sarah, I’m absolutely certain. I danced with the creep earlier this evening.” Linda teared up at the thought of Kate’s treatment by this man.

Sheila asked, “How did you compile this list so fast?”

“We did a search of our A-Pass (Automated Personnel Assisted Security Screening) system, which monitors passengers and crew as they enter or leave the ship.”

“Can you leave a copy of this picture with me?”

“Oh, certainly. The Captain was most insistent that we cooperate fully.”

-------------------------

Beverly Airport 2330 hours EST, Tuesday, December 18, 2001

Hal arrived at the airport wearing casual clothes. in one hand he carried a garment bag, in the other hand a weapons case. He boarded the jet and settled in the master suite. Jeeves was right behind him, also loaded for bear. He smiled at the four hard faced men casually dressed, seated and ready to go.

Dr. Bellows boarded as Jeeves began to brief the men. At the last minute, Annie rushed to the plane, with a small carryon bag. There was a certain amount of argument, but Hal quickly backed down. Annie would not be denied rushing to her adoptive mother’s side.

“I know you wanted me to be with the kids, but I called Kate’s mom, and asked her to come out from California, please don’t be mad, I called TWC Aviation, and they will pick her up and be airborne within the hour. The kids will need her more than they need me.” Annie’s eyes were red from crying.

Hal relented, and moments later, the Boeing Business Jet rolled down the runway bound for the Cayman Islands,

---------------------------

Cruise Ship Golden Princess, at Sea, 0345 hours, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

“Well Doctor, I think we’ve got a winner,” Tom informed Dr. Connors.

“Yeah, I agree. The vitals are up a bit, and they’ve steadied some. If nothing else goes wrong, she will make it.”

We need to get a rape collection kit in here to document the crime. Frank can you see to that while I talk to Linda?”

“No problem, I’ll get it taken care of.”

Tom stepped into the lobby, and gave Linda the news. “Kate’s going to make it. It’s going to take some time, but we’ve turned the corner on the overdose. Officially, that’s what it will be labeled, an “accidental” overdose. We’ll keep a close eye on her. Why don’t you go back to my cabin and get some sleep? Meri won’t mind, and they’re going to take your cabin apart inch by inch, documenting everything — and frankly, I wouldn’t want to sleep there right now anyway.”

Linda began to cry anew at the news. “Tom, I can’t. I have to stay here with her. You don’t know what it was like to find her. Whatever that bastard did, he took away her soul. When I first got there it was like she was dead already.”

“Linda.”

“No, I mean it! This is all my fault. If I had stayed with her, she wouldn’t have taken those pills.”

“Linda, you did what seemed best, you did what I would have done.”

“Please, just let me sit by her,” Linda begged.

Tom opened the door, pulled a chair next to the hospital bed and Linda sat there, holding the hand of the person she loved most in the world, wondering how she could pull that person back from the brink of hell.

-------------------------------

Cendar Business Jet, in flight 0600 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001.

Hal speed dialed Cendar’s chief counsel. “Erik, it’s Hal. Are you awake?

“Damn boss, I guess I am now. What’s got you going so early?”

“Erik, Kate’s been raped. I need you to coordinate with the US attorney’s office in Florida. We know who did it, and we are going to try to take him into custody. If so, I want to hand him over to the US Marshall for Florida later today.”

“Hal, I’m not certain this is completely legal.”

“Jeeves, and my agents are all police officers within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Can you attempt to get a special appointment from the US attorney in Boston?”

“Hal, I’ll try. I may have to call the Governor’s office, but I believe Jane would call in a few favors for you — under the circumstances. And I better get in touch with the British consulate, and maybe even our ambassador in Kingston.”

“Erik, do whatever it takes. I’ll be landing in the Caymans within the hour. I’d like to be nice and cooperative, but I will protect Kate, and I will have this bastard in jail.”

“Be careful, Hal. Let me get to work.”

“Erik, I meant what I said. Do whatever, spend whatever, promise or pay whatever it takes. Nothing means more to me right now.”

“Hal, you know I will.”

-------------------------

Governor’s Residence, Boston, Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 0610 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001.

“Governor Wells? I’m sorry to wake you but Erik Moore is calling on behalf of Hal Stevens, and claims it’s an emergency. Can you take the call?”

Jane Wells rolled over and sat up in bed. “Hi, Erik. What’s so pressing?” She inquired groggily.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Jane, but Hal needs a big favor. Kate’s been raped, and Hal has a team on the way to the Caymans. They know who did it, and they want to take him into custody.”

“Oh my God! Poor Kate! Is she all right?” Jane bolted upright, all thoughts of sleep gone.

“I don’t really know. I just found out about it, and I’m trying to get the legal ducks in a row. Do you know Susan Cobb?”

“Sue? Sure, we have met a few times. Why?”

“She’s the US Ambassador to Jamaica, and has jurisdiction over the Caymans. Could you call her and ask her to send the legal attaché to Grand Caymans? If there’s an FBI agent, see if he could also go, and get there just as quickly as possible?”

“Erik, I can and certainly will try.”

“Jane, for the record, right now this is the single most important thing in life to Hal.”

“Please convey my sympathies, and assure Hal I’ll do everything possible.”

-----------------------

Cendar Business Jet, in flight 0622 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001.

“Hal? It’s Erik. Jane called the ambassador, and she will have the Legal Attaché, Bruce Tristan, and an FBI agent, Mark Chapman ready and waiting for you. Here’s the problem, you will need to pick them up. They will be waiting for you at the Kingston Airport, General Aviation facility, I told them you’d be there between 7:00 and 8:00.”

“Erik, I owe you one. How will it play out legally?”

“I will be on the phone with Pat, Sheila, and Linda. Based on their telephone depositions, I will request The US magistrate in Miami to issue an arrest warrant for a John Doe, name to be provided by the FBI special agent. It’s a bit dicey whether he will cooperate, but I’m hoping he will see reason. In any case, I’ve alerted our attorney in Florida who is filing an emergency hearing request at 7:00 this morning. So, if you will excuse me, I’ve still got a lot to do. If it all works out, you’ll have a facsimile copy in hand before you reach the Caymans.”

“Thanks, Erik. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

-----------------------

Norman Manley International Airport, Kingston, Jamaica 0720 hours EST, December 19, 2001

Hal watched impatiently as the jet taxied to the main airport terminal, general aviation facility. The left engine was powered down, and an external stairway was jockeyed into position. Two men dressed in business suits carrying garment bags climbed the stairs. As soon as the stairway was removed, the pilots went through their checklists and restarted the engine.

“Mr. Stevens? I’m Bruce Tristan, Legal Attaché, and this is Mark Chapman, Special Agent in Charge, FBI, US Embassy, Jamaica.”

Hal shook their hands, “Do you know the status of the arrest warrant? Erik Moore, my attorney, said you might have a copy.”

“There’s a bit of a problem. The US Magistrate in Miami wants something more than a “John Doe” description. Hopefully, Mark will be able to put enough information on John Maxwell and any accomplices together to have the warrant issued. But I have to tell you, the government would much prefer to make the arrest in Florida. It’s much cleaner. While I can certainly understand your anger and desire for justice; if we apprehend the perpetrator and transport him on your aircraft, there will be problems.”

“What kind of problems Mr. Tristan?” Hal asked.

“Well, if I were the defense attorney, I would certainly raise issues of due process and prejudicial treatment of my client. It’s possible a sympathetic magistrate would throw the case out on a technicality.”

“You can’t possibly mean that?” Hal asked with a look of disgust on his face.

“Actually, I’ve seen worse.

“Mark will begin the investigation on the ship. I understand your security division is sending a team?”

“As a matter of fact, they’re on the plane with us.”

“We’re going to have to be exceedingly careful. Mark will oversee the collection, and will take custody of all material evidence. Analysis will be in the FBI labs — not Cendar’s.

Fifteen minutes after touching down, the jet was back in the air.

--------------------------

Beverly Airport 0725 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

The TWC Charter flight from Santa Barbara arrived twenty minutes early, due to a favorable jet stream. TJ and Dorothy Williams descended from the jet and were met by a Cendar driver. Thirty minutes later they pulled up in from of Stevens Hall.

Entering the mansion, TJ turned to his mother. “You know, when John told me about this job I didn’t believe him, but after the flight, and seeing this estate, I think maybe if anything, he understated things.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place quite like this,” she agreed.

Vikki met them in the lobby and showed them to their rooms. “I was so sorry when I heard Mrs. Stevens had been injured. Annie asked that I make sure you’re taken care of. Tim and Lisa have been taking it easy, but they are normally are up by 9:00. If you’re hungry or need anything, please just dial the kitchen and I'll see it’s taken care of. Oh, and either Hal or Annie will call about 9:00 with the latest information.”

Neither TJ nor Dorothy were interested in lying down, the tension had both sleepless and anxious; “Thanks Vikki, but could we get some coffee?”

Vikki lead the way to the kitchen, playing tour guide along the way.

--------------------------

Owen Roberts International Airport, Georgetown, Grand Cayman Island, 0812 hours EST

The jet coasted to a halt in the general aviation area. Hal, Jeeves, Annie, Dr. Bellows, Bruce, and Mark descended from the plane as soon as the stairway was brought alongside. The remaining members of the Cendar team would stay with the plane - for now.

At the foot of the stairs the Americans were met by Burl McGuire and Gerry Braggs, the Commissioner of Police and Chief Immigration Officer, respectfully.

Bruce Tristan spoke, “Burl, good to see you again, and you too, Gerry. This is Hal Stevens, Annie Anderson, and Andrew Jeeves of Cendar Corporation, and Dr. Saul Bellows. You know Mark Chapman, of course.”

“What a bloody business to wake up to. I’m sorry for what has happened to your wife. The Governor has requested we offer every help possible,” McGuire told Hal, shaking his hand.

“Thank you for that. Right now, I’d like to get to the Grand Princess as soon as possible. Has she docked yet?”

“Yes, she arrived at 0715 hours. Mark, you are from the American Federal Bureau of Investigation as I recall?”

“Yes sir, I’ll be the principal agent in the investigation of Kate Steven’s rape and assault.”

“If you’ll come this way?” Commissioner McGuire led the way to a pair of official cars.

From the airport to the cruise line terminal is less than five miles. Georgetown is a curious mixture of old style colonial and ultra modern contemporary architecture, so while the roads were adequate, the short trip still took the best part of 20 minutes.

--------------------------

Cruise Ship Golden Princess, St. George, Grand Cayman Island, 0835 hours, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

“Good morning, Mr. Stevens, I’m Sarah Matthews, Senior First Officer. I assume you want to go to the Medical Center straightaway?”

“Please, Ms. Matthews,” Hal replied.

Sarah led the party along the same route Hal, Kate, Linda and Annie had taken only 3 days before. In the Medical Center, Linda looked up as they approached.

Hal took in the scene; the medical equipment attached to Kate, the bruising, the obvious damage to her face, and the constant beep of the heart monitor.

Linda looked like hell, still in her elegant evening gown, her hair disheveled, and her eyes bloodshot from crying. Seeing Hall, she stood and flew into his arms, “Oh God, Hal, I’m so sorry. If I’d stayed with her she wouldn’t have been able to overdose.”

“Shush, it’s not your fault. We all knew Kate was having a hard time. You didn’t rape her. You’re not responsible.” Hal soothed and comforted Linda.

As Dr. Connors and Dr. Richards entered, Hal turned to them, and Annie pulled Linda into a hug, and the two women joined by love for the patient wept.

“How soon can we transfer her to the airport?” Hal asked.

Tom replied, “Hal, she’s stable. There’s still a broken nose to treat, but that can wait until we’re back in Massachusetts. Results from the lab indicate she never really had a dangerous amount of hydrocodone in her system. We could wake her most any time, but I think I’d rather she sleep until we can get her into a stable location.”

“I agree entirely, Mr. Stevens. She’s had a bloody bad time of it, and I suspect the emotional damage is far more extensive then the physical. Blaming one’s self is a common reaction among rape victims. She’s going to need all the support she can get,” Dr. Connors added.

“Hal, in light of the last month, I concur completely,” Dr. Bellows chimed in.

Hal breathed a sigh of relief and said simply, “Thank you gentlemen.”

“Hal?” Annie called. “Her necklace and wedding rings are gone!”

“Tom, did you see them?” Hal asked, “It’s not like Kate to remove them.”

“No, we’ve been pretty busy, but no one took any jewelry from her. In fact, I don’t remember her wearing any when we brought her down here.”

Hal gave a description to Mark Chapman of the FBI, and showed him the matching half heart necklaces he and Annie were wearing.

“I’ve taken the liberty of ordering an ambulance, and we can move her anytime,” Ms. Matthews said. Turning to the Cayman officials, she asked, “Do we need to do anything in the way of paperwork?”

Bruce Tristan interrupted. “Actually, my instructions are to take care of any details. Mark and I will be working with these gentlemen for the next two or three days. Ambassador Cobb made it clear that I was to make any arrangements necessary.”

“Her Majesty’s Government has no problem with you simply transferring Mrs. Stevens from the Golden Princess straight to your aircraft at the airport.” Gerry Braggs informed them.

“Then let’s get her loaded and back home, Tom. Pat, you and Sheila will be working with the FBI. The security team will be working for the FBI in any way possible. I want the sick bastard who did this in jail for a long, long time. Actually, I want him dead, but I'll settle for him in jail. I want you and Sheila to tail the asshole every place he goes off the ship. If he goes to a jewelry store or hock shop, I want one of you stay there, and the other to continue to follow him and notify Mark. He can get the local authorities to question the owner.”

The medical staff arranged for the transfer, and half an hour later Kate was loaded aboard an ambulance for the short ride to the airport, accompanied by Pat and Tom. Jeeves arranged the transfer for two of the security team to the Golden Princess, and by 1030 hours, Kate and Linda were aboard the jet with Annie, Hal, and Jeeves. The plane left the runway on a direct flight home.

-----------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 0915 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

Lisa stumbled down to the kitchen and was surprised to find her grandmother and uncle sipping coffee and chatting with Vikki. “Grandma! Uncle TJ! When did you get here?”

“Hi, Honey. We got here this morning. Is Tim up yet?”

“I don’t think so … Is something wrong?” Lisa questioned.

“Yeah, Honey, very wrong. Why don’t you show us the way to Tim’s room?”

Lisa led the way, and they found Tim awake, playing on the computer. “Hey, Grandma, Uncle TJ; what are you guys doing here?”

“It’s kind of complicated. First, let me tell you that your Mom is okay, however, your dad was attacked, and brutally beaten. Annie called last night and asked if I could come back here to stay with you while she and Hal went to pick “Kate” up in the Caribbean. So, here I am, and your uncle was kind enough to come with me. I expect to hear shortly on how your dad is doing.”

Lisa started weeping at the news; Tim just looked shocked and scared. “Hey, you guys want to get some breakfast, and then show us around?” TJ asked the kids — a deliberate ploy to change the subject.

Downstairs, the four ate breakfast, waiting for news. Tension mounted as time slipped past nine o'clock — the time Hal was to call.

-------------------

Cendar Business Jet, in flight 1032 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001.

‘Amazing,’ thought Dr. Bellows looking in on the sleeping Kate. ‘So much energy, so much to live for, and so terribly broken.’ “Tom, we’re going to have problems when she wakes.”

“I know; that’s why I want her home. I think we can do better in a familiar setting. The thing she is going to need the most of is love and support. God alone knows what went through her mind to cause her to try to kill herself.”

“It’s not uncommon for rape victims, and it’s fairly common for the transgendered to attempt suicide. But, Tom, we are not going to lose this patient. I promise.”

“Saul, it’s been a long night, thanks for the encouragement. She’s very special.”

Dr. Bellows smiled, clapped him on the shoulder and went into the main cabin to talk to Linda, but found her in Annie’s care.

Annie had converted one of the seats into a bed and snuggled against Linda. She wrapped the two with a blanket. Linda was already asleep, and Annie quickly joined her.

Next, he went looking for Hal. “Can I make a suggestion?” Hal nodded, “Give the kids a call. They will be worried sick and waiting for news.”

“Saul, thanks for being here. I know I’ve screwed up with Kate in the past, but I’m determined to do right by her. It means a lot that you dropped everything to take care of Kate.”

“Well, you’re also my patient, and I take the old Hippocratic oath pretty seriously,” he chuckled. “Besides, you and Kate are both special. Now go make those calls while I take a nap.”

------------------------

Hal began making phone calls.

“Stevens Hall, may I help you?” Vikki answered the phone.

“Hi, Vikki, it’s Hal. We’ve got Kate aboard, and we’re on our way home. She’s been badly hurt, but the Doctors say she’s going to make it. Is Lisa or Tim there?”

“Mr. Stevens, I am so relieved. I’ve been worried sick. Let me get Lisa.”

“Hello?”

“Lisa? It’s Uncle Hal. We’ve got Kate and she’s going to be okay. The doctor’s will keep her unconscious till after we’re home. She’s hurt, badly hurt, but the doctors are certain she will be fine. Can you tell Tim? I would have had your Mom call, but she is pretty badly shaken, and she fell asleep as soon as we were airborne.”

“Tim’s showing Grandma and Uncle TJ around. I’ll let them know. Can you have mom call when she wakes?”

“You bet, Honey. We’ll take good care of both of them. We should be home by 5:00 this evening.”

“Thanks, Uncle Hal. I’ll see you then.”

------------------------------------

“Erik, Hal, we’ve got Kate aboard. She’s badly hurt, but not in any danger. Please call Jane and thank her.”

“Hal, that’s great news! What’s happening with the son of a bitch that did it?”

“The FBI is handling it from here on. They were insistent, and made good sense. If we had run with it, there would have been a question of tainting the process. I don’t want there to be any chance this bastard will get away.”

“I think that’s probably best. I was afraid it would work that way, but you were pretty insistent.”

“Okay, I know I can be abrasive when I want to get my way — but I also try to listen. I have to make some more calls; I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.”

“Bye Hal, I’m really glad things are working out.”

---------------------------

Beverly Airport 1630 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

An ambulance was waiting on the tarmac as the Boeing Business Jet landed, and Kate was quickly transferred to it. Pat with Tom and Meri rode in the ambulance as it traveled to Stevens Hall; red lights flashing. Annie and Linda followed a bit more sedately in her topaz blue BMW.

Hal and Jeeves thanked the various Cendar personnel for their efforts way above and beyond what was normally expected. Without exception, they all made it clear that they would do it any time for Kate. Jeeves and Hal left the airport together, and Dr. Bellows followed them back to Stevens Hall.

---------------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 1715 hours EST, Wednesday, December 19, 2001

Kate was transferred to the medical suite. The EKG, oxygen, and monitors were attached, and connected to the computer. A normal saline IV dripped into her arm. Kate slept peacefully.

Linda and Annie arrived a few minutes later; Linda went to check on Kate, while Annie went to find the kids, Grandma, and TJ. Annie found them in the second floor game room, and escorted them to the medical suite, and then left them alone for a few minutes.

Linda looked up, saw her mother-in-law approach and walked over to embrace her. “I’m so glad you’re here. She’s so badly hurt.” Linda began to cry again.

Lisa and Tim took one look at Kate, lying unconscious. Lisa gasped and rushed from the room. Tim looked a little green, and quickly followed his sister into the hallway.

Dorothy walked over and looked closely. “I can see why you keep referring to ‘her,’” she said. “When you told me about this escapade, I thought it would be a lark, people would laugh, and the two of you would be home at the end of six months. But that’s not going to happen, is it?”

“Mom, I really don’t know. Things have really gone sideways. I’ve made some big mistakes, the Doctor’s screwed up, and she’s the one paying the price. It’s just not fair.”

“Baby, you know, life is not fair. So, what can I do?”

“Can you watch her for a while? I really need to shower and change. Then maybe we can visit, and try to sort things out.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her, Mom, why don’t you go with Linda and help her get cleaned up? She looks like she’s asleep on her feet,” TJ said.

Linda and Dorothy left the suite. Lisa was crying on Annie’s shoulder, and Tim had gone back upstairs.

Tom and Meri continued to monitor her condition until an ICU rated RN arrived. Tom and Meri settled into one of the guest rooms, and after a quick dinner headed to bed.

---------------

“Mom, this is Annie,” Linda introduced Annie to her mother-in-law. “I know you’ve sort of met her, but she’s been a wonderful help after I screwed up. And, she’s kind of your adopted granddaughter since Kate sort of adopted her.”

“How do you ‘sort of’ adopt someone?”

“It’s a long story, and I’m sure you will get it all.”

The four women went up to the master bedroom, and the other three chatted while Linda showered.

Linda had just finished dressing when there was a knock at the door. Vikki brought in dinner, beans and wieners, and a garden salad. “I know Mrs. Stevens loved this as ‘comfort food,’ and I thought maybe you’d like it,” she explained.

Linda gave her a hug, “Thanks, Vikki, I’m sure it’s wonderful.”

TJ was watching over his brother/sister, idly watching TV when Hal, with Dr. Bellows walked into the suite.

Dr. Bellows asked the nurse for her condition, and listened as she explained things were stable, virtually unchanged in the previous hour.

Hal walked over to TJ. “Hi, I’m Hal Stevens, and you are?” Hal asked, extending his hand.

“TJ Williams, John’s brother. I came out with our mom at Annie’s request,” TJ shook his hand. “I don’t know how I should react to you. On the one hand, I feel like kicking your ass for what you’ve done to John; on the other hand, I know you never could have forced him.”

“TJ, if you need to kick my ass, and if that would do Kate, or John any good, then please feel free. You have no idea how much I love her, and how much I loathe what’s happened to her. I would do literally anything for her, and if I could trade places with her right now, I’d willingly do it. I know things are strange. Kate, Linda, and I were just beginning to sort things out when this happened.”

There was a naked honesty about Hal’s words. TJ could see Hal, worn-looking after a night of no sleep, standing there ready to accept TJ’s judgment. “You’re either telling me the truth, or one hell of a poker player. I guess I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for the time being.” TJ reached out to shake hands again. “I will say though, if you ever hurt ‘her’ I will personally blow you to dust bunnies.” TJ was half serious, half joking.

“If I do, I’ll give you the ammo,” Hal bluntly replied. HE wasn’t joking. Abruptly, his reserve, cracked, and he began to sob. “God, I thought I’d lost her, again.”

TJ reached out to the man who loved his brother/sister and Hal held on tight, his large frame wracked with sobbing.

Dr. Bellows, who had observed this scene, allowed Hal’s expression of grief to continue for several minutes, then he discreetly coughed, attracting their attention. “Would you two like an update?” They both nodded. “Well, according to the latest, we’ll allow Kate to wake up in the morning, probably around 10:00, so that I can get some rest first. By the way, Hal, I’m too old for this running around nonsense.

“Anyway, the meds will be eased off, and she should be awake mid to late morning. I intend to be here when that happens, as will Dr. Richards and Dr. Ledbetter. I want the two of you, Annie, Linda, and the kids to be ready and available. As I see it; the biggest task will be rebuilding her will to live. That means she is going to need all the help and love she can get. I don’t doubt she will be extremely depressed, and maybe uncommunicative.”

“TJ, you don’t know me. I’m Dr. Saul Bellows, Saul to my patients and friends. I hope you will count me as one of those. I’m a psychiatrist, and I specialize in gender issues. I know it’s a lot to take in. But in nearly 30 years of practice, your sister is certainly one of the more clearly transgendered individuals I’ve ever treated. She may have been born with a male body, but she certainly is a woman. Perhaps it would be easier for you to imagine Kate as having been born with a birth defect, one she’s trying to correct.”

“Okay Dr. Bellows, I’ve known John had gender issues, but I never expected this. I’ll do my best to be supportive of her. And I’ll be certain everyone else is, too.”

“Good, and now if the two of you will excuse me, I have an appointment with my wife and a bed.” Dr. Bellows left the suite, leaving Hal and TJ alone with Kate, and the nurse.

“Would you like something to eat, and a drink or two?” Hal asked TJ.

“Yeah, I think I’d like that, it’s been a long day for me, too.”

The two went upstairs to the kitchen, asked Vikki for a sandwich, and then went upstairs to the game room to watch TV. Vikki served them pastrami grinders, onion rings and Sam Adams Pale Ale a few minutes later. Neither said much, each lost in their own thoughts. After dinner, the two men joined Linda, Dorothy, and Annie in the lounge. Hal related the plans for the morning; and TJ explained what Dr. Bellows had said.

It was almost comical. The adults checked in on the kids. Lisa complained it was like having 5 parents, and how that was 3 over the legal limit. After that, the adults went to bed. Annie asked to join Linda in bed, and Linda, needing comfort herself willingly accepted.

-----------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 0315 hours EST, Thursday, December 20, 2001

In the medical suite, the nurse kept a close watch on her patient. Occasionally, Kate would whimper in her sleep. The nurse would check the vital signs, log the results and pray for the peace the patient so desperately needed.

-----------------------
Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 0800 hours EST, Thursday, December 20, 2001

Everyone was up, dressed and at breakfast. There was a palpable tension and fear in the air. How would Kate/John, their husband/wife/brother/sister/son/daughter/mother react when she/he awoke?

Lisa was appalled when she finally realized that Kate had been more than beaten, she had been raped. There was a visceral acceptance, from that ultimate degradation, that her dad was indeed a woman.

Hal spent the morning in his office. Part of the time he spent reading in the Bible; part of the time praying to a God he really didn’t know, begging for Kate’s recovery.

Linda was lost in her own torment and guilt. All she could think of was ‘How do I save him, how do I save her?’ She would do anything.

TJ and Tim spent the morning walking through the snow covered estate. TJ trying to focus Tim on anything other than the fear he himself was fighting. ‘What if she has already given up? How can I help her if she refuses help?’ Like Linda, he was fiercely protective, and determined to see her well.

Dorothy spent the morning in the kitchen, more comfortable chatting with Vikki than in sitting around. The two women shared a love of cooking, and Vikki was honestly interested in what she called ‘comfort food’ — those dishes that Kate found comfort in.

-----------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, 1000 hours EST, Thursday, December 20, 2001

Dr's. Saul Bellows, Norma Ledbetter, and Tom Richards hovered around Kate’s bed. Linda and Dorothy stood easily in sight of the slumbering patient. For the past half hour, Kate had begun to wake, eyes unfocused through her swollen eyes. Shortly after the 10:00 hour something clicked within her consciousness, and her eyes snapped open as wide as the swelling would allow.

Her mouth opened, her face became a mask of desperation and fear as she looked at the faces around her. “Oh God, NO!!! I’m alive, No!!! I can’t be alive!

Then she just screamed incoherently. The hysterical sound could be heard throughout the house. Sobbing, she tried to turn away from the ones who loved her so.

To be continued

Seconds later, I felt someone else grab my hands, and squeeze them tightly. “Please don’t hurt yourself. I love you, too,” I heard Lisa plead through tears. “I can’t imagine what it must be like, but please don’t give up? I need you, Daddy! I don’t care whether you’re my daddy, my aunt or my mom. I need you!” she cried. Like my mom, Lisa reached down and kissed my cheek, leaking tears on my shoulders. Then she let go, and someone else grabbed my hands.

I was beginning to feel they had lined up, no, ganged up on me. One after another, they battered me with their love ... brutalized me with their compassion.

Thanks to my editors, Wendy, Holly, and Stan. Thanks Maggie for your encouragement.

Comdex— Chapter 6 — Recuperation
Copyright  © Beth Williams 2004/8

Thursday, December 20, 2001

The first thing I felt was a strange sense of peace. Everything was muzzy. I realized I was cold, a cold deeper than I had ever known. ‘Something’s wrong,’ I thought, but had no idea what it was. I tried to swallow ... I couldn’t. My tongue felt swollen, abrasive. I tried to suck a bit of saliva ... but nothing was there.

Then I felt something cold and wet at my lips. I knew I should do something with it, but couldn’t work out what it was. I managed to open my mouth, and the wetness slipped inside. My tongue loosened up, and some of the discomfort slipped away.

After another eternity I realized that maybe something else was wrong. I tried to open my eyes, but they didn’t respond. I lay there a while trying to figure it out. ‘Eyes Open!’ my brain commanded, nothing happened. ‘Oh well, I’ll just go back to sleep,’ I thought. The cold and wet something was back at my lips, and I thought that maybe I could suck some of the liquid. I tried, my mouth worked, it tasted ... wet ... heavenly.

The cool wetness moved to my eyes. ‘That’s silly, I can’t suck on it with my eyes,’ I thought. I didn’t care too much, it felt good. I just lay there, probing the fragments of sensation, trying to figure out what they meant. The cool wetness went away, and I felt liquid on my eyes. That seemed to help, and I tried to open my eyes again. They opened enough that I could at least see. But I didn’t know what I was seeing, everything was blurry and fuzzy. I thought, ‘Oh, I really must get Lasik surgery,’ then remembered I’d had it years before.

A dull throbbing pain throughout my body seemed to be growing by the moment. ‘Ahhh! ... pain ... hurts ... why? ... Why do I hurt? ... What’s wrong?’

The cool wetness returned ... wiping at my eyes ... distracting me from the thought. I blinked a few more times. ‘That’s better,’ I tried to smile. ‘I’ll just keep my eyes closed a little longer,’ I reasoned. ’Sleep ... yeah sleep. It doesn’t hurt when I sleep.’ I tried to tell whoever was there all I wanted to do was sleep, but I couldn’t make my mouth work.

Somewhere in the background, I could hear a high pitched beep, beep, beep. ‘How can I sleep with all this noise?’ To me it seemed the sound and the pain were racing each other to see which would destroy me first . All I wanted to do was escape from the noise ... from the pain. I couldn’t hide from the pain. No matter how hard I tried to relax and slip back under, the pain brought me further up!

The only thing I could do was feel the pain searing through my skull with each hellish pulse of that damned beep.
‘Got to get away from the beep!’ … BEEP!
‘My head! … Got to get away! …” BEEP!

I was operating on animal instincts. That damned beep hurt. I had to get away from the BEEEEEP!

It echoed through my skull, setting every nerve ending on fire. I tried to scream in agony, but couldn’t. I wanted to run … but it was like the worst nightmare on earth. Nothing worked!

All I felt was the pain. ‘ I’ve got to get away from the pain.’ I tried to make my arms and legs move, and nothing was happening. The beep was coming faster now, each pulse closer and closer, … faster and faster.

Each strident scream of sound was a white-hot poker that seemed to make lights flash inside my skull. It was getting brighter,… BUT IT HURT!!!!

Then it started to make sense. But it was a sense that I didn’t want to understand. ‘Something is very wrong. This sense shouldn’t be. … That’s a heart monitor. Heart monitor ... hospital ... I’m in a hospital. Why am I in a hospital? … What happened to me?” What ...?!?”

I couldn’t quite figure out why I was in a hospital bed, and frantically began trying to remember what could have happened. I could hear the beeping sound speed up, pounding deeper into my skull. I knew I was panicking, but I didn’t know why.

Then it hit me!

I opened my eyes and tried to move my head. there was Linda ... and to my horror, my MOM?!? I could hear the beeping racing now, keeping time with my rising panic.

“NOOO!” I screamed. “I failed. Oh, God, HOW could you DO this to me?” I wailed.

Linda came over and touched by arm. I tried to pull away but couldn’t move. “I was through the hard part,” I screeched. “Why didn’t you just let me die? How COULD you?!

I could see desperation in Linda’s eyes. “Get out! GET OUT!” I screamed through my tears. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

I continued sobbing. “Everyone, just get out! Don’t you understand? I don’t want to live. I KNOW you can’t love me anymore! I KNOW it! Why couldn’t you just let me die like I wanted to? I can’t love, anyway.”

I thrashed desperately and tried to reach for the IV’s. I failed, only because my arms were restrained. Somehow that made it even worse; they were at least one step ahead of me. … I stopped thrashing, … closed my eyes, … and succumbed to my tears.

I could hear Dr. Tom chasing everyone out, then I felt something cold being injected into the IV in my right arm , “Damn you all!” I screamed. They were ALWAYS one step ahead of me. Soon I felt a rush coursing through my brain and everything faded to black.

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Tom looked around the room in exasperation. . “Son of a Bitch! That sure went sideways.”

Dr. Bellows chuckled, “It may be for the best. Let’s let her rest for an hour or two and try again. The biggest shock is over. Now it’s depression and her will to live that I’m concerned with.”

Hal and Linda re-entered the room, and pulled a chair to where Kate lay. Gently, with infinite tenderness, Linda took Kate’s hand and held it. “Tom, she’s so cold. Is there anything I do?” she said.

“I suppose we could wrap her in an electric blanket on low,” Tom replied.

Hal left, returning with an electric blanket. Hal and Linda tucked it up around under her chin, leaving only her head and the part of the arm with the IV exposed.

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Dorothy took the kids upstairs; TJ tagging along. “Kids, we need to talk,” She ushered them into the guest office, closing the soundproof door behind her.

“Grandma … What happened?” Lisa asked.

“That’s a long story, Honey. Your uncle TJ can explain some of it better, but what happened, is that Kate was beaten and raped.”

“RAPED!>!” Lisa screamed, interrupting her grandmother, dismayed by the thought her father could have been raped. She burst out crying.

“Yes, Baby, raped! Then afterwards she decided to TRY to kill herself, and did a damned good job of it. A few more minutes and she would have died.”

Clearly agitated, Tim spoke up. “Grandma, you keep saying ‘she’. Is my dad turning into a faggot?” anyway

“Tim,” TJ turned to his nephew, “I know this is hard for you. Damn, it’s hard for all of us; your dad most of all. The doctor’s say your dad IS a woman. Not, a ‘faggot!’ ” he spat. “A woman! That’s MY SISTER, and YOUR FATHER.

“I don’t like it much better than you. But unless you want her to die, you’d better sort out your feelings in a hurry. I’ll help you any way I can, but, you say something like that to her, and you might as well put a gun to her head and pull the trigger. I'm afraid if you do somehow slip, you and I will be taking a trip to the wood shed, where I will tan your buttocks a bright rosy red. He looked at Lisa, to include her in his remarks.

Stunned, Tim looked from his uncle to his grandmother. She continued. “Tim, your uncle’s right. Your dad suffers from something called Gender Dysphoria. She has mostly male parts, but her brain, is ALL woman. It’s important for you to understand that. She’s going to need your help, or she’s gonna die.”

At the word ’die‘ Tim blanched. “Gran’ma ...why?” he asked plaintively. You could hear the tears in his voice as he struggled to keep from shedding them. “Why is it happening to my dad?”

Dorothy’s voice cracked with emotion, “Honey, we just don’t know. When your dad was growing up, he was always a bit different. He cared more. He was interested in lots of things that you don’t usually associate with little boys. As he grew, your grandpa and I watched. Your dad ALWAYS tackled the most “manly” things he could. He usually, wasn’t very good at them, but nothing and no one could stop him.”

“Your grandpa and I knew he was doing them for us. He kept a secret diary. To this day, I don’t think your dad knew we’d read it. It was a cry from his heart. He was always writing prayers to God, asking to be like the other kids in school. Sometimes he’d write, begging God take his feelings away from him, or to make him a girl. I remember once, it was really late at, I thought everyone was asleep. I heard a noise and walked by your dad’s room. He was laying on his bed, almost naked. I could see him, ‘cause the moon was full and the light shone into his room through the open window. The noise I heard was him sobbing. He was crying, and begging God to make him a girl, or at else to let him feel like a man. I crept back to my room, broken hearted, and cried myself to sleep over the pain of my baby.

“He didn’t want it ... He fought it ... He lost. To survive, my baby, YOUR Daddy, is going to have to accept that she’s a woman. She’s MY baby girl ... she’s just gone through one of the most terrible things a woman can go through... She’s been raped ... brutally savaged by an animal pretending to be a man …”
She paused, and seeing the tears streaking down Tim’s cheeks, called him to her. Tim came over and she pulled him into a hug as he broke into sobs. “I know you kids feel hurt and betrayed. BUT she’s the one that’s REALLY been hurt, and betrayed. Just try to love her. She loves you very much. I don’t think she has anything left to give right now. “Your daddy feels all alone right now, Kids. She’s hurting so bad that she’s tried to kill herself ... and without all of our love, she just might try again.”

TJ walked over and patted Tim on the back. “You think you can help us, Tim

Tim just nodded, “I’ll try,” he got out between sobs. “Please … don’t let my dad die!”

“That’s what we all want, Honey,” Dorothy told her grandson as she pulled Lisa into the group hug. “That’s all we want, all we can ask of both of you.”

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Drs. Tom, Norma, and Saul decided to bring Kate around again. The lighting was subdued, the temperature was a pleasant 76 degrees.

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This time, the first thing I noticed was being warm. I felt strangely detached, lethargic and at peace. ’Relax! You’re just waking up.’

This time I could open my eyes, at least a little. It took a few minutes for my eyes to be able to focus. When they did, I saw Linda sitting there, holding my hand.

I felt more than slightly disoriented. I felt like I’d had 4 or 5 stiff drinks.

Dr. Tom held a straw to my lips, and I sucked some kind of citrusy drink. “I’m sedated,” I managed to croak. Tom nodded.

Looking directly at Linda I said, “You deserve someone better than me. You should have let me die.” Sedated or not, I began to cry. “This doesn’t change anything, I still can’t go on living.”

Linda gently hugged me. “I love you,” she whispered. I don’t know how long she stood there. I could feel the wetness of her tears roll down my face and pool between my breasts. “What happened wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry ... I failed you. If I’d gone to the cabin with you, none of this would have happened. I love you ... I’ll always love you.

I tried to return the hug, only to be reminded of the restraints binding my hands to the bed. “Hey, Doc, if I promise to be good, could you let me loose? I need to hug my wife?”

Tom unfastened the restraints.

I was able to manage a one arm hug; the other hurt too badly when I tried to move it. “How can you say you love me?” I asked, beginning to cry again. “I saw the disgust in your eyes ... I KNOW I’m revolting, and as soon as you saw me, you ran away. I don’t blame you. It was all my fault! You saw what I made that man do. I’m just a freak! A slut, like he said. And YOU KNEW IT.” I gasped, wiping at my eyes.

“THAT’s why you ran away and left me ALL ALONE!” I broke free from the hug, rolled over and tried to hide my tears in the pillow.

Linda reached out, gently rubbing my back. “God, no, Babe; it wasn’t you. I was sickened ... outraged by what that animal did to you. I did the only thing I could think of. I … I ran to get help. I was only gone for a few minutes -- thank God! Any longer and we might have lost you.”

“Don’t you get it?” I screeched. “I wouldn’t have been lost. I’d be in heaven, and NOT FUCKING HURTING! I ... wouldn’t ... be.” I began sobbing uncontrollably. “God, what a failure ... failed as a man ... and failed as a woman. Damn, I even failed to kill myself!” Whatever the doctor had given me could not control the emotions I felt. I sobbed hysterically, unable to stop the tears.

Linda just held on, like she was clinging for dear life. Someone else took my other hand. These hands were rougher, and I feared it was Hal. Instead, I heard my mother whisper in my ear, “I know you don’t believe it right now, but there are many people, right here, right now, who love you more than life itself, starting with me, and I gave you life. Please, don’t throw that life away. Relax, Honey, let us help.”

“Mommmm ...” I whimpered, pulling away. “You don’t understand. It wasn’t you that was raped! Please! Just let me die!”

I felt her lean down, and kiss me. I could feel her tears dripping on my cheek. Mom started whispering again. “Honey, you’re wrong. I was raped. I never told you, because you never needed to know. It happened when I was seventeen. I’ll tell you the story once you’re better. But, you are not alone in this.”

I was momentarily stunned. My mom is one of the strongest people I have ever known. The concept that my mother had been raped was more than I could wrap my mind around. “Oh God, NO! No, not you momma!” I broke down in gut wrenching sobs.

“Yes, Baby, ME!”

“How could you bear to live with it?” I moaned.

“The same way you will, … with the love of your family and friends. Yes, it hurts; you may even feel like you somehow caused it. But you did NOT start this. YOU are NOT to blame,” she said emphatically.

It occurred to me that I would not have been able to deal with this without the drugs. While it hurt, it was more of a dull ache, not a sharp pain. Besides which, I felt so heavy I could hardly move. Mom kissed my cheek, and let go of my hands.

Seconds later, I felt someone else grab them, and squeeze them tightly. “Please don’t hurt yourself. I love you, too,” I heard Lisa plead through tears. “I can’t imagine what it must be like, but please don’t give up? I need you, Daddy! I don’t care whether you’re my daddy, my aunt or my mom. I need you!” she cried. Like my mom, Lisa reached down and kissed my cheek, leaking tears on my shoulders. Then she let go, and someone else grabbed my hands.

I was beginning to feel they had lined up, no, ganged up on me. One after another, they battered me with their love ... brutalized me with their compassion.

I opened my eyes, to find Annie standing there, tears streaming from her face. “I’ve lost my mother twice. I couldn’t bear to lose you again. I need you, and love you. Please don’t give up, Momma.”

“I don’t understand. How could you possibly love me? I’m a freak! A … a failure.”

“No, you’re a wonderful woman. And, through weird and wonderful circumstances, you ARE my mother. You’re gonna have to admit you’re wrong. I DO love you, and so does the rest of your family here ... So get used to it!”

Annie continued holding my hand as someone else touched my shoulder. “Only you, bro.” TJ chuckled. “Only you. … Do you remember when we were really, really little? It was right after my eye surgery. You took care of me while I couldn’t see. You would play with me, tell me stories, and in general helped me to get through a bad time in my life. Do you remember?” I sort of nodded my head.

“Well, later, do you remember the morning I really wanted to thank you, and you seemed down about something. Do you remember? I asked you something, do you remember? The only thing I could think of, way back then, was to fix you something to eat. So, I think I’ll ask the question again. ‘Brother, can I fix you a pickle relish sandwich?’ I love you.” That was exactly what he’d asked me the morning my puppy had died; back when I was six years old.

“You idiot,” I croaked to him.

“Yep, that’s me, the idiot child. But you know what? I still love you.”

TJ stepped back, and I felt the touch I dreaded most. “Kate, I’m so sorry ... I failed you ... I thought you would be safe ... that you would be all right with Pat and Sheila. I love you so much,” he quietly sobbed. When he got himself under control he begged, “Can you forgive me? Honey, please forgive me?” Unbelievably, he still seemed to care.

“Oh, God! Hal, how can you even think of loving me? That animal used me ... he violated me... every time we’re together; you’re going to feel dirty... and so will I. I began to cry all over again.

“Katherine Elayne Linda Elizabeth John Albert Williams Stevens, I love you more than I can ever tell you.”

“One tiny bit of information you might like to know. Your attacker has been linked to at least two other rapes while on cruises. We will convict this bastard. He will go to jail and he will be punished.”

“I think that’s enough for now,” Dr. Bellows said.

“Kate,” Doctor Tom said my name, getting my attention. When I looked at him he continued. “I’ve given you a sedative. I’m going to give you something else, okay?”

I nodded. “It won’t knock you out, but you’ll feel a bit detached for a few more hours; maybe until dinner. If you do anything foolish, I won’t hesitate to put the restraints back on you. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

I nodded again. “Good. I’d like to get you out of here and up to your room. If you promise me you’ll co-operate, we’ll move you. I don’t want you standing yet, so just relax. You haven’t eaten in quite a while. I’d like you to try to eat something for me. Okay? Think you’re up to it?”

“I’ll try.” I was having trouble seeing. The thought of food caused my mouth to water. I still couldn’t open my eyes very well, and the tears didn’t help, but I managed to see someone injecting drugs into the hep lock of my IV. He was right, pretty soon I seemed to step outside of myself.

Dr. Tom removed the IV, and I tried to get out of bed. “Oh NO, my pretty!” he said cackling in an imitation of the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz. “I don’t think you’re going to be walking anywhere till you’re feeling better.”

“It’s just to the end of the hall,” I complained. “I can make it; you don’t have to treat me like a baby!”

“Yes, Kate, I do. You’ve been asleep for two days, and that after being beaten and raped. You need to relax and recover your strength.”

“Tom, I can walk that far,” I argued, trying to growl at him ... I suppose my voice might have scared a baby mouse. Maybe … I’m not sure.

“Kate, my dad had a saying, ‘Those that won’t listen have to feel.’ Okay, you think you’re able to walk, so show me ... go ahead, sit up on your own.” Tom was watching carefully.

I struggled to sit upright. I could only use one arm, and that threw my balance off. I made it half way, and fell back against the pillows.

“Satisfied?” I nodded. “I’m going to give you a choice. You can either ride upstairs on a gurney, or, we can help you into a wheelchair.”

“Wheelchair, please?” I felt very fragile.

With Tom on one side and Dr. Bellows on the other, they helped me sit up. From there, with help, I made into the chair. Annie pushed me out into the hallway.

I found Tim waiting there, looking weary and scared. “Hey, kiddo,” I called, and received a wet hug. It seems my sixteen-year-old son was not too old to cry. Annie rolled past the regular elevator and through the hidden panel at the end of the hall to the elevator that went straight to my room.

Mom decided, that for the time being, my rooms were for women only. No men allowed. Lisa even made a sign on the computer. Vikki came in with a tray of veggies and dip and took orders for lunch. I asked for a fried spam sandwich on wheat, and bean with bacon soup; and a big glass of cold milk.

Annie gave me a strange look before ordering a BLT for herself. Linda turned to her, “You should see the REALLY weird things she eats,” she laughed, ordering a ham and Swiss on rye bread. Lisa asked for a Cobb salad. Vikki promised lunch in 45 minutes.

Annie, Linda, and my mom helped me into the bathroom, and gave me my first bath in days. As they helped me undress, I saw my body for the first time since the attack. From my navel up, my body was a solid mass of interlocking bruises. I felt strangely compelled to examine the hurts.

Both of my eyes were swollen nearly shut. There were distinct bite marks on my breasts. Both of my lips were split, and you could still see traces of the blood which had flowed from my mouth and nose onto my breasts. Similarly, the inside of my thighs showed traces of blood, and other things. Apparently, my attacker’s semen mixed with my blood had dribbled from my anus and dried there while the doctors had worked on my attempted overdose. When I saw THAT, I tried to throw up ... I wanted to throw up ... I badly needed to throw up. There was nothing in my stomach, and I began to sob through the dry heaves. I desperately needed the support of Annie and Linda to keep from falling down.

Linda hurriedly undressed herself, and helped me into the bath. Between her and Annie, I was able to sit down in the bathtub. Linda began by washing my hair, ignoring my tears. She then soaped my body and scrubbed away gently but thoroughly with a loofa. She cleansed every inch of my poor abused body, then rinsed me carefully, while I continued to sob. I cried that I still felt dirty, and she patiently started all over again. The second time she used a peach scented body wash. I managed to quit crying as she rinsed me clean.

Linda, Annie, and my mom helped me out of the bath. Lisa was standing there with an armful of oversized towels. Annie and Mom wrapped me up in a cocoon of thick warm terrycloth while Linda quickly dried and dressed. Lisa went into the bedroom and returned with a flannel nightgown, which she helped Mom pull over my head as Linda and Annie steadied me.

Linda finished dressing, and we went back to the sitting room. Lisa helped wrap me in a terrycloth robe. My mom brushed out my hair while Linda sat and held my hands. I felt like a 400 pound Barbie doll, being dressed and groomed by the women of my family.

True to her word, Vikki arrived about the same time we finished with the bath. The smell was enough to drive me crazy. I’d not realized just how hungry I was until then. Gone was my earlier nausea; I was ravenously hungry. Vikki served my fried spam sandwich and bean with bacon soup. I was surprised at how well I was able to eat. Sure, the bites had to be small to fit in my damaged mouth, but the salty tang of the spam sandwich balanced with the sweetness of the cold milk. It was an anodyne to heal the misery in my heart. Mom knew this was one of my favorite foods. She watched me like a hawk. Every time our eyes met, she would give me an encouraging smile, and urge me to eat slowly. I managed about half the soup, and most of the sandwich, before I was too full to continue.

There was a knock at the door, and Dr. Ledbetter entered, carrying a plate of chicken salad.

“I heard this is where the party is. Can I join you?” she asked, a smile in her voice.

“What the hell do you want?” I snapped.

“Well! … I can see your meds are wearing off,” Norma replied dryly.

“Yeah, right,” I said, deliberately turning away from her. I don’t why, maybe it was the cheery voice, but Norma became the focus of my anger.

The four women chatted as we finished lunch; I sat there morosely, trying to say nothing. Vikki brought in dessert, serving each of us a large bowl. In the bottom a warm fudge brownie; the next layer, Dreyer’s Double Fudge Brownie ice cream , topped with Hot Fudge sauce and whipped cream.

“Well Mrs. Steven’s, that’s two of the three main food groups you’ve had today vital for a woman’s health, I don’t suppose the third would be a good idea,” Vikki said to me with a smile as she placed a bowl in front of me.

“How so, Vikki?” Norma asked.

“Don’t interrupt! She was talking to me, NOT you,” I slammed back at Norma.

Vikki, now obviously uncomfortable, went on, “Well, you’ve got the first group, comfort food that you didn’t prepare; the second group, chocolate; all that is missing is the third food group, a good chardonnay!”

Everyone laughed, including me. Vikki picked up the dishes as they continued chatting.

Norma turned the conversation in a serious direction. “Kate, do you think you can tell us all what happened? It’s important that you begin to work through it as soon as possible. And frankly, I’d like to get you to talk through it at least once while you’re still medicated.

“There’s not much to tell, he knocked me out, tied me to the bed, raped me, then beat the hell out of me,” I replied flippantly.

Norma smiled gently. “No, that’s not quite what I meant. Let’s start from breakfast that morning, for each of us. That way, maybe we can all participate and build a larger picture. I want a solid understanding of what was happening from both of your perspectives. And, Kate, I want you to know what was going on around you while you were unconscious. Can we do that?

“I’d rather not.” I shuddered. “Why can’t you just leave me the hell alone!?!” I could feel the emotions boiling up inside, and like a dam burst, the tears started ... again.

“Because it’s going to hurt more before it gets better. You said you wanted the pain to stop? Okay, fine! Let’s make it stop by working through it.”

“Damnit, I had it stopped!,” I screeched in reply. “I was past the pain, I was going to sleep forever. But NO, YOU, ALL of you! You just HAD to butt in. You don’t care! YOU don’t know what it was like. You are all too damned selfish to JUST LET ME GO! So, THANK you VERY MUCH, gee, how lucky of me. Now I get to go through HELL AGAIN!”

I could see the anguish my words caused. Lisa in particular looked stunned, tears streaming down her face. I knew my words hurt, but I didn’t care.

“Okay, Kate, if that’s how you want to see it. Fine, I can accept I’m selfish, and your anger, BUT, I am going to help you get better ... in spite of yourself.” Norma stated.

“Just leave me alone, bitch!” I lashed out at her.

“No, Kate. I won’t! I care too much to leave you alone. Hate me if you want, but I will do what I can to help you.”

“Whatever,” I replied, turning away from her. “Linda, can you and Annie help me to the couch?” I asked.

Linda and Annie supported me as I walked the enormous distance of ten feet from the table to the couch. It seemed like a mile, every step exquisitely painful. It was clear whatever they had given me for pain was wearing off fast. Linda and Annie settled me on the couch, and Lisa sat beside me.

“Okay, who goes first?” Norma asked the group. Predictably, no one wanted to go first. “Lisa, how about you go first?” Norma asked, as she turned on a recorder to capture the session. “If no one minds, a recording now might help Kate with her deposition.

“Me?” Lisa squeaked. “I thought it was only for my Moms.”

“No,” Norma laughed, “I meant for all of us to take a turn.”

“Let’s see; in the morning, I was working with Annie on the Midwinter’s Night party. I was going over the invitations and Annie was helping with the wording. We settled on 12 of my friends from home, and Annie was making calls to the local Chatelaine trying to line up suitable escorts. After lunch, I started calling friends about the party, and lost track of the time. I was helping them to make appointments with Gowns R Us for fittings for the party gowns. We had decided on 14th century Italian court dresses for the party; and Annie had arranged for individual gowns for all my friends. I was having so much fun, that I almost forgot to take Velvet out for a ride. Anyway, I took her an apple, and rode until just before dinner. In fact, I was late for dinner, because Jose ...”

“Who is Jose?” Linda interrupted.

“Jose’s the horse trainer,” she explained. “Anyway, Jose made sure I put the tack away correctly and brushed Velvet down properly. So I was late, and Vikki was mad at me. After dinner, Uncle Hal, Tim, and I played Monopoly until about 9:30. Then I went to my room, got ready for bed, did my devotions, and was IMing my friends when Annie knocked and asked for Grandma’s phone number. Then I went to bed.

“I was surprised to find Grandma and Uncle TJ here in the morning. When they told me you’d been attacked, I thought I was going to die.” Lisa turned to me, too broken up to speak, and cried in my arms.

I patted her back as she looked up at me, “The happiest moment in my life was when Uncle Hal called and told me you were going to live.” Annie reached over and handed her a tissue.

“I spent the day wandering around. I couldn’t focus on anything. I tried playing X-box with Tim, but I was so upset that I couldn’t even play that. When Annie came in and told me you were home, I ran downstairs. I saw you there, beaten, with tubes and things, and I couldn’t stand the sight and ran from the room. I couldn’t eat dinner. I went to my room, prayed for you and wound up crying myself to sleep after Mom checked in on me.”

“This morning, when Grandma told me that you had been raped, I thought I’d throw up. It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I guess I finally realized just how much of a woman you are, and how much I love you anyway.” Lisa ended her tale, holding me so tightly I had to remind her not to hurt me.

“Annie? You want to go next?” suggested Norma.

“Well, after working with Lisa in the morning, I did paperwork in the afternoon. The sales in the Las Vegas store have been skyrocketing, and I discussed expansion plans with my manager and her assistant.

“I had a date in the evening, so I wrapped things up early. Ed Stanton took me out to the King’s Grant Inn, in Danvers. Ed’s an old friend from College. Somehow he heard I was in town, and asked me to dinner. We spent a quiet evening catching up with the turns our lives have taken since then. I was home at 9:30, and was quietly reading in bed, until about 11:00, Hal knocked on my door, and everything went to hell in a hurry.”

“Hal wanted me to stay and take care of the kids. I was sick to my stomach, and couldn’t bear the thought of staying here while Hal went to get Mom. So, I got Dorothy’s phone number from Lisa, called, and arranged for her to fly out.”

“Hal had left for the airport, thinking I was staying behind. I drove the beamer as fast as I could to the airport, and thank God, I made it! Hal had this half-assed idea that I would stay at the estate. All I knew is my mom needed me. I’ll tell you, Hal backed down awfully fast when I threatened to kick his butt. We detoured to Jamaica to pick up an FBI agent and the legal attaché, and were in the Cayman’s by 8:15, wher we were met by the Chief of Police and an Immigration officer. I couldn’t stand the drive, it took us at least twenty minutes to travel 5 miles.”

“When Hal and I got to the Medical Center, Linda practically flew into Hal’s arms, crying how it was all her fault. It was all Hal could do to get her to calm down.” Linda looked directly at me with tears streaming down her face. “I looked down at you and it nearly broke my heart. Then I noticed your necklace and wedding bands were gone, I know you wouldn’t have taken them off, so that bastard is a thief, as well as a rapist.”

“We transported you by ambulance to the plane, then after taking off, Linda and I snuggled together and slept until arriving at Beverly airport. Linda and I drove home, following the ambulance.”

“When we got home, I went to find the kids, and Linda went down to be with you. All the way home, she kept praying you would be okay. I found your mom and kids upstairs, and took them down to see you. Afterwards, your mom, Linda, Lisa and I went upstairs where we chatted. Mostly, your mom and I tried to comfort Linda, and figure out how to make you understand how much we love you. Finally, after some dinner we all went to bed. Linda and I snuggled in the king size bed, where we cried ourselves to sleep worrying about you.”

Lisa went to the bathroom to get another box of tissue. There were no dry eyes. “Kate, do you think you can go next?” Norma asked.

“No, I don’t. But you’re not going to let me alone, are you?”

“Nope, sorry Kate.”

“Damn, I’d rather be dead,” I sighed and began. My voice a monotone, my anger at Norma was obvious. “Well, I hope you choke on it you sadistic bitch,” I told her before I began.

“Linda and I woke up that morning and had breakfast on the balcony,” I said, my voice devoid of life and any emotion other than anger. “The room was beautiful, the sun warm, the ocean calm and restful, and the food fantastic. We talked about what we would do that day; I decided to learn how to dance. You see, they were offering ballroom dance classes in the aerobics center.”

“So …” I closed my eyes, took a deep quivering breath and began to relive my personal hell. “I signed up for the morning and afternoon sessions. It was far harder work than I expected. The only thing that kept me going in the afternoon was the ‘friendly …’ “I physically gagged on the word, “… presence of John in the afternoon session. Well, it was ‘formal’ night that night, ya know? I was really looking forward to it.”

I pulled my robe tightly, pulling in and away from Linda and everyone else. I bowed my head, and continued in a whisper. “I’d made reservations for Linda and me at the salon for makeovers. I really wanted to look special for our portrait. They did our hair and makeup, and Linda and I got dressed for the evening.”

As I drew a few deep breaths, Linda reached over and touched my shoulder. I flinched. “Please, don’t touch me,” I gasped. “I’ll never be able to finish if you touch me. I’m sorry, Lin. Just let me finish.” I could feel my heart pounding, and my breaths came in rapid pants.

“I felt absolutely wonderful. Linda and I were as elegant and classy as any women there. If I’d gone as John ... Oh, God, Honey …” I stifled a sob. “… nothing about the night would have interested me. As Kate ... I still can’t believe it, it was wonderful, and I felt beautiful ... sexy ... so special. It was magical ... I was Cinderella on her way to the ball ... I was with the woman I loved, and I felt magnificent.”
I finally broke down sobbing. For minutes, precious in their poignancy, I sat there, tears flowing freely mourning my loss of the magic. It was Lisa, timidly reaching out and handing me another tissue that finally gave me the presence of mind to go on. “The night was so full of promise. It was like a fairy tale. We had our portrait taken, and then went into dinner. It was fabulous. The men were all so handsome; the ladies were all so gorgeous. Linda and I were among the prettiest there.” I looked from face to face, “I even forgot just how fat I truly am.”

“After one of the best meals I’d ever had ...” I gave a strangled laugh. “God, it’s almost like the condemned’s last supper, now that I think about it. … Well, Linda and I went into the ballroom. Hey, I killed myself all day with those lessons, ya know? I just ...I just wanted to see if I could dance, just a little bit.”

I sobbed again. It took a bit for me to get back under control. “I’d always wanted to take you dancing, Lin, and I never could ...I didn’t know how. Now that I did ... anyway, John and his roommate, Rob, joined us. But after several dances my feet were really starting to scream at me. I’d been dancing all day, and I guess I was paying the price.”

I looked Linda in the eye and said as calmly as I could, “Heels really suck for dancing.” Everyone in the room let out a nervous tittering laugh. It really wasn’t that funny, now that I look at it. I resumed my tale while looking at Linda, somehow gleaning the strength I needed to finish what I had to say. “So, I told you that I was going back to our room to change my shoes. John offered to escort me. All I could think about was how much I loved you.

As John walked me to our stateroom, we chatted about dinner, the ship, just ...it was all just inconsequential, nothing things about our day. I had no idea he was planning anything. As I walked into the room, I saw a flash of light ... and everything went black.”

I had to stop. I’d started crying so hard I began to gag, then to hiccup. Lisa brought me a glass of water, and after I managed to take a sip, Norma urged me to continue.

“When I finally woke up, there was something in my mouth, gagging me. I tried to spit it out, but I couldn’t. My head hurt like hell and I couldn’t see clearly. I tried to move my hand to rub my eyes and realized I was tied up. That’s when I began to panic. As I blinked my eyes to clear them, I noticed John standing there, by the bed, stroking his ... his ... his penis. Then he started saying these ugly, vile, cruel things.

He said he was glad I liked it rough; I frantically shook my head no. He accused me of leading him on, of wanting sex ‘from a real man,’ as he put it. I tried to get away, but I couldn’t even squirm around. I couldn’t move at all. He accused me to taking the dancing class only to get close to him. He said I’d been the perfect slut, and that I kept rubbing my body against him. I cried and shook my head frantically. All the while he just grinned.

“Then he ...oh, God ...he got on the bed and ...and ...and he tried to jam his thing in me. And when he couldn’t, he tried to shove his hand into me. Then he went nuts and started calling me a freak. Said he knew I was horny for him, and wanted to feel him up my ass. He rammed himself inside me. I don’t know how long it lasted, but it seemed like forever. Each time he shoved into me I could feel myself tearing open more and more. Then he leaned down and bit my breasts. No matter how hard or loud I tried to scream, it only came out as a moan, because of the gag.

I guess he took this as a sign I was enjoying it. I swear, it just seemed to turn him on more and more. Finally, he seemed to tense up. I swear it felt like he got even bigger. He slammed against my thighs, I felt added moisture between my legs and I knew he had climaxed.”

“After he finally came, I didn’t think it could get worse, but it did. The fact that he climaxed seemed to enrage him. He started to beat me. His first punch was to my chest. I felt my collarbone break. I’d almost swear I heard it snap. Then he wiped himself off on my belly and started hitting me everywhere. After he hit me in the nose I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t breathe, blood was everywhere. As I lay gagging and choking, he threatened to kill Linda and me if I ever said a word about him.

“I think his words were worse than anything he did to me. I can’t repeat half of what he said, it was so horrible. I guess he hit me in the head one time too many, because I finally passed out.

“I woke up in darkness and prayed I would die. I spiraled down into a depression so black I couldn’t see a bottom. His words haunted my every thought. He’s right. I am a freak. And, if he’s right about that, he must be right about everything else. If he’s right about me being a freak, then the rest of what he said has to be true. It WAS all my fault. I needed to end the pain; but I was tied up, and couldn’t do anything.”

“Eventually, Linda came in and untied me. She helped me into the bathroom. She took one good look at me, and ran away in disgust.”

“Oh, Honey, no! I was going for help,” Linda interrupted.

I looked Linda directly in the eye. “All I saw was you running away from a disgusting filthy freak. It was just as John had said, even you rejected me.”

“Never! I love you, don’t you EVER doubt that. I couldn’t have been gone for 10 minutes,” Linda explained.

“I didn’t know that then. How could I know? I was, alone, without you ... I hurt worse than I had ever hurt in my life. I hurt in body AND soul. It was all my fault ... I decided to end the pain. I couldn’t live without you ... and I had lost you ... It was as John had said ... you walked out on me. So, I stumbled into the living room, found my Vicodin and a bottle of vodka. I knew people died in hot tubs from drinking and then being overcome with the heat. I locked the bathroom door, swallowed the pills, drank the vodka, and lay back in a tub of warm water. I turned the heat up, praying for a gentle death. It would be the end of my pain ... and you wouldn’t have to be with me.”

I finally turned towards Linda, and sobbed. Linda held me. Lisa and Annie joined us, as did Mom. From each of them, I could feel a love that made a lie of John’s words. Love poured from them over my tortured soul, soothing and healing my own self doubts.

“I think that’s enough for a while,” Norma said, sniffing back her own tears. “I’m sure Saul will be talking you through this for months. I can tell you, that your feelings are exactly what perverts like John hope for; pain! Pain and shame so great that the victim never comes forward.”

Linda suggested a nap, and I was grateful to snuggle up to her.

It seemed like I had just closed my eyes, when Linda was gently shaking me. “Hey, want to come down to dinner?” she asked.

“No, I just want to go back to sleep.”

Linda laughed, “Okay. Let me put it another way, It’s time to come down to dinner!” With that. She unceremoniously pulled the covers off.

“Do I have to dress?” I moaned.

“Nope, just slip your robe back on, and some slippers.”

Linda helped me with the robe and brushed out my hair. She called for Annie and the two helped support me as we rode downstairs in the elevator.

Vikki had set up tables in the atrium. Linda and I joined the rest of the family. Hal came up to me and hesitantly took me into his arms.

“Thank you, Hon,” I said. “They’ve been telling me you moved heaven and earth to get me home.” I tilted my head up and kissed him. He held me close, and I enjoyed the sense of well being and contentment that comes from the presence of someone you know will protect you.

“I’m just glad to get you back in one piece, more or less,” he said.

“Probably more of the less than of the more,” I replied.

Hal helped me to the table, “I thought we’d eat in here and let the rest of our guests use the dining room. I expect you don’t need a lot of company.”

“Thanks, I’m not sure I want to see anyone right now,” I answered.

“Uh, well, I couldn’t get out of one visitor. Jane insisted on stopping by after dinner. She’s been very moved by your attack.”

I accepted the inevitable, and turned to what Vikki had prepared for dinner. Fried chicken, coleslaw, beans; it was clear she had been talking to Mom. I should have felt guilty about being catered to, but at the moment, I simply treasured the little pleasures.

Mom had made desert. Bread pudding, made just the way I liked it. I looked around the table and asked myself how could I ever have doubted the love of my family? Sitting there, with my original family, plus Hal and Annie, I felt incredibly blessed. I covered my face and began to cry.

Linda asked what was wrong, and I told her. She just wrapped me in her arms, and let me weep.

Hal spoke up, “I suggested to TJ that he bring Jean out for the party this weekend. I know you’re not feeling well, but it’s really too late to cancel. You can join us or not, as you choose.”

I sighed at the thought of the party. Hal was right, too many preparations had been made, and, even if we tried to cancel, there would be many invitees who would not get the word. “Can I just see how I’m doing tomorrow?”

“Of course, Hon,” he replied.

Andy came out into the atrium. “Kate, Governor Wells is here. Do you want her to come out here, or would you like to see her? She could meet with you anywhere you like.”

“Of course, Andy. Bring her on out.”

Jane came into the atrium, took one look at me and cried, “God, Kate, you look like hell!”

“Gee, thanks,” I replied, rising from my seat. Jane came up to me and embraced me like an old friend.

“I have been frantic with worry since I heard about what happened. I hope you don’t mind my barging in.”

“Actually I’m touched. Outside of family and employees; you are the only female acquaintance I have.”

“Acquaintance? I thought we were friends.”

“Well, I’d hoped so too, but didn’t want to presume,” I told her.

She smiled, “That’s better.”

“Jane, let me introduce you to some people dear to me. Of course you know Annie and Hal, but this is my mother, Dorothy Williams, my brother TJ; this is my daughter Lisa, and my son Tim.” Turning to my assembled family, “Guys, this is my friend, (I emphasized just a bit to tease her), Jane Wells, the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

My mom and TJ were flustered as Jane stepped forward to shake their hands. Mom about lost it when Jane gave her a hug, “You must be very proud of her, she’s simply marvelous! Did she tell you she’s going to help me with the Girl Scouts?”

I giggled at their reaction. “And before you guys ask, Jane knows all about my sordid past.”

Jane laughed. After chatting for a while, she said her goodbyes. “I don’t want to keep you up; I know the doctor wants you to get plenty of rest, but I simply had to see you to make sure you were okay.” Jane and I hugged.

After she left, I told my family that I really was tired, and wanted to go back upstairs.

Mom and Linda helped me upstairs. Soon, after Annie and Lisa joined us, Annie asked, “Do you feel up to a movie?”

I asked what she had in mind, and she pulled out the DVD for ’Kate and Leopold.’ “How about a Meg Ryan flick?”

I hadn’t seen it, so we all piled on my bed, and watched it.

Shortly after the movie ended, Tom knocked at the door, and entered. “I want you to get to bed soon, I’ve brought an Ambien, and I need to see you take it before I leave.”

“Keeping me on a short leash, Tom?”

“Yes. If anything happens to you I’ll never forgive myself.” He handed me the med with a glass of water. I took it, and Tom said good night.

“I had better brush my teeth and get to bed. Ambien works awfully fast.” Annie, Lisa and Mom all gave me a hug, and left. Linda helped me in the bathroom, applying more of the anesthetic gel to my anus.

As Linda and I climbed into bed, there was a gentle tapping at the door, and Hal stepped into the room. He came over and sat on the edge of the bed by me. “I just wanted to say good night, and that I love you.” He leaned over and gave me a kiss. After he left the room, and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

----------------

Cruise Ship Golden Princess, Cozumel, Mexico, Thursday, December 20, 2001

Pat and Sheila discreetly tailed John Maxwell and his roommate, Rob Lewis from the cruise ship and joined the tour they had selected. It was an enjoyable tour of the Mayan Ruins of Tulum. Fortunately, the tour lasted virtually the entire time the ship was docked. The suspects never had a chance to fence the stolen jewelry, if that were their intention.

Kate and Linda’s cabin had been extensively photographed. The bedding had been collected for analysis. Each of the blood/bodily fluid stains had been documented, samples collected and clearly labeled, under the watchful supervision of FBI Special Agent Mark Chapman.

Kate’s ripped clothing, and the nylons used to tie her to the bed were bagged as evidence. The hard surfaces of the room’s furniture were dusted for fingerprints. Luminol was used to validate and visualize blood stains on the carpet.

Kate and Linda’s remaining clothing was neatly packed, and readied for transport. Pat took charge of Kate’s SIG and the contents of the room safe — opened with the help of Sarah Matthews. Only after all that was the room turned over to the cruise personnel for cleaning.

----------------

Friday, December 21, 2001

Sometime after midnight, Linda woke to the sound of a terrible scream. Kate was sitting straight up in bed, her eyes straining to open further than the swelling would allow. Linda could hear her gasp for breath, and reached out touch her. At her touch, Kate collapsed back against the bed, her body wracked by sobs. Linda rolled over and cradled her.

There was a tap at the door, and Hal stuck his head in the door, “Is everything all right?” he asked, stepping into the room.

“I don’t know, she just woke up screaming,” Linda replied.

“Oh, God, it was horrible,” Kate gasped. “I dreamed I was back on the ship, and he came back and raped me all over again.”

“Oh Sweetheart, shush. It’s okay,” Linda tried to calm her.

“No it’s NOT! It will NEVER be okay ever again!” Kate wailed.

“Kate, do you want me to get the doctor?” Hal asked, his voice trembling.

“No! He’ll just think I’m crazier than I am. Could you stay here tonight? Please?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make things worse.”

“No, please Hal? Just check that all the doors are locked, turn down the lights and come to bed, please,” Kate pleaded. Turning to Linda, Kate asked, “Honey, it’s okay with you, isn’t it?”

“If that’s what you want, it’s certainly fine with me.”

Hal locked the door to the hall, and checked that the balcony door was closed and locked. The lights were turned down and he climbed in bed next to Kate, who snuggled up to Hal and pulled Linda close to snuggle on her other side. Gradually, her sobs became whimpers, eventually trailing off to occasional shivers. Hal reached across to Linda, and the two traded a look of love and concern, AND they held Kate, shielding her from the world with their love.

-------------------------

I woke to the sounds of snoring. Hal had rolled over sometime in the night, his arm over my body and his right hand cupping a breast. I began to giggle, as I realized I was doing the same to Linda. I quickly quieted when I felt her begin to stir, and went back to sleep, the protective love of my husband and my wife surrounding me.

-------------------------

When next I woke up, it was to sounds of Hal getting ready for the day. Linda was awake, reading a book in bed. She smiled at me, and everything was at peace in the world.

“Feeling better this morning?” she asked.

“Somewhat It still hurts, but I don’t feel quite so woozy. I’m sorry I was such a baby last night. It’s just the nightmares were so horrible.”

“Well, that’s what Hal and I are here for. Hon, we are both serious about making things better. How do you feel about Hal this morning?”

“Don’t take this wrong, because I most certainly prefer sleeping with you, but, he made me feel protected. I’m sorry I’m so fragile.”

“Oh, hush! You’ve had a perfectly horrible experience, and you have every right to feel fragile. Do you feel like getting dressed today? No one would say anything if you want to stay in your jammies, but you do have visitors scheduled to visit today.”

“Who’s coming over?” I asked.

“The US Attorney and an FBI agent will be stopping by to take your deposition, and Dr. Bellows indicated he would be by today.”

“Crap! I suppose it’s necessary to do the deposition today?” I asked, hoping for a way out of it.

“Let me put it this way, do you want to see John in jail? If you don’t give a deposition, the US Magistrate in Florida won’t issue a warrant for his arrest.”

“Okay,” I sighed, “I guess I don’t have any choice.”

“So .... Are you going to get dressed or not?”

“Yeah, I guess I will. Something soft, though. … Maybe a light sweater with a jumper? You know the look, New England Preppy Holiday wear?”

“Cool, white tights, red sweater and green plaid jumper, I can just see you now!”

“You’re enjoying this too much,” I whimpered.

“Come on, time for a shower.” Linda pulled me out of bed and into the bathroom, where Hal was just finishing up.

“Good morning, Sweetheart,” he said, kissing me lightly on the lips. “Good morning, Sweetheart,” he repeated, kissing Linda lightly on the cheek.

“You’re incorrigible,” I laughed at him.

“If it makes you laugh, I’ll be incorrigible all the time,” he replied with a twinkle in his eye.

Linda surprised me by peeling off my nightgown, and her own, in front of Hal. When I blushed, Linda and Hal laughed.

After taking off the figure of eight bandage, we stepped into the shower, and I let Linda wash and take care of me. “You know, I feel really guilty,” I said.

“Hmm, why?”

“You’re taking such good care of me, and I’m not doing anything in return.”

“Hush! You’ve been hurt. This is the least I can do.”

We finished and dried, with Linda still pampering me. She brushed and dried my hair, before putting a fresh bandage around my shoulders. Freshly bathed and powdered, I managed to get myself dressed with Linda’s help. True to her word, Linda had picked out a disgustingly preppy Christmas outfit, just like she had described in bed, adding only a pair of shorty boots, and little Christmas tree ornament earrings.

As I looked at my reflection, she laughed, asking when Santa was going to visit, and, had I been a good girl this year? I smiled, and sat on the bed while she dressed, and then really laughed at her outfit. She dressed identically to me, except her sweater was green and her jumper was red.

Linda helped me downstairs, and into the breakfast nook, where Vikki was waiting with what had become my usual breakfast of oatmeal, bacon, fruit and toast.

“What would you do if I asked for something else?” I asked her.

“Why, make it of course, but then, you would tell me the night before, wouldn’t you?” She smiled at neatly turning the tables on me.

“Of course I would. Do you know where the kids and my mom are?”

“They’ve gone to the airport to pick up your sister in law.”

Linda and I finished breakfast and were sitting in the atrium when Erik Moore came in to talk with me. “Good morning, Kate. can we go somewhere private?”

Linda, Erik and I went into my office, and closed the door. “Kate, you know about the deposition?” I nodded. “They will be here shortly. There is one complication. Who are you going to be deposed as? Legally, the case will be tighter if you are deposed as John. That way there’s no room for this bastard getting off on a technicality. The downside, is the possible negative publicity. We can request the hearings be closed to the public, but there is a chance you will be publicly exposed.”

“I’ll chance it. There is no way this bastard is going to get off on a technicality.”

“Thank you, Kate; that will make our job easier.”

Erik, Linda and I chatted for a few more minutes until Jeeves knocked on the door, and informed us the US Attorney, and the FBI had arrived. I asked him to show them in, and have Vikki prepare a coffee and tea service.

Moments later, a man and two women were shown into the office. Erik made the introductions. The US Attorney was a woman named Marcy Favors, the FBI agent Rick Tatro, and the other woman was a court reporter, Claire Samms.

After Vikki brought in coffee and tea, we got down to business. Claire set up her equipment, Marcy and Erik setup tape recorders and we began.

“Ms. Stevens, I know how painful this will be, but we need your testimony to take to the US Magistrate in Miami.”

“I understand, and I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”

“Raise your right hand. Do you solemnly swear or affirm that what you are about to say is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” Marcy asked.

“I do.” I replied.

“Do you understand that everything being said here is being recorded and can be used in evidence? Additionally, any false statements can be subject to perjury and contempt of court charges?

“I do.” I repeated.

“State your name for the record.”

“Katherine Elayne Stevens, but I was born John Albert Williams.”

“What?” Marcy asked, clearly shocked.

“I was born John Albert Williams. I am a medically diagnosed transgendered individual. Several months ago, Hal Stevens met me, and noted my uncanny similarity to his dead wife, Katherine Elayne Stevens. Hal asked that I take her place within Cendar Corporation and in his life. My wife, Linda and I discussed it, and for the past few months I have lived as Kate. The proper name change paperwork is on file in the Superior Court in California, the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, with the Federal Court in Boston and with the SEC in Washington DC. I now live as Katherine Elayne Stevens. On advice of counsel, I do not want there to be any confusion as to my identity or gender. This statement is intended to settle that issue before it ever arises.”

“I see,” she replied, clearly not seeing at all.

We then went through the events of my rape. There were times when Marcy or I asked for a break as I recounted the brutality. When we finished, she thanked me, assured me of the confidentiality of the interview, and the Feds left.

“Well, that went well,” Erik said, pleased with the way the interview had gone.

I blew my nose, wiped my eyes, as I nodded agreement.

Mom, TJ and the kids returned from the airport with Jean. They must have briefed her, yet when they arrived she took one look at me and said, “Oh … my … God! Kate, you must hurt like hell!” She rushed to give me a hug and whispered in my ear, “You look amazingly like a woman.”

“Thanks,” I whispered back. “So do you.”

Jean stepped back, a shocked look on her face, then began laughing. “Touché my dear. I guess I deserved that!”

I smiled at her as she went on, “It’s just that other people have always known you were a woman. For me, it took a bit longer.” She stopped again, looking around. “Wow, this is an amazing place, Kate.”

“Just wait till you see it all later. I’m sorry; I’m not in much condition to play tour guide at the moment.”

“I can see that!” she said.

TJ and mom showed her upstairs.

Linda and I sat watching the preparations for the night’s party. The front hall was decorated with wreaths and holly. Just inside the atrium a huge Christmas tree had been setup. I loved the ornaments. They were from all over the world, some new, some old, and some that had to be antiques. There was no “theme” to the ornaments. They reflected a family’s history. I was touched by eight of the ornaments. They were labeled Becky, and Tracy, with the year of the Christmas my twin’s babies had lived.

Linda noted my tears, and I had to tell her all about the twins. We walked into the gallery, and I showed her the portrait. She did a double take. “You know, it looks like a portrait of you with two Lisas and another woman.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I started calling Kate my twin.”

We walked back into the front hall, kibitzing, as Hermione and her crew finished with the decorations.

I took the elevator upstairs, intending to rest a while. As I passed the game room, I thought I’d try to find a movie to watch. As I reached for the door, it flew open, mashing both boobs, and hitting my collarbone. With a scream, I fell to the floor.

Tim and Lisa had apparently been playing some kind of tag game. Tim had just scored on Lisa and was running from the room. Unfortunately for me, I happened along at precisely the wrong time.

As I lay on the floor, the game came to an abrupt halt. I was crying, trying to protect my breasts, lying in a fetal position. Tim knelt down beside me, “I’msosorrypleasedon’tdie, I’msosorrypleasedon’tdie, I’msosorrypleasedon’tdie,” he repeated, a mantra as fervent as any prayer, tears streaming down his face.

I looked up at him, his face a study in agony, reached out to him and pulled him into a hug. He sobbed as he held me tight. He was hurting me, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I could see Tim was hurting as much or more than I was. I HAD to take care of my baby.

That’s how Linda and my mom found us a few minutes later, drawn by my screams. Tim and I in a tight embrace, rocking back and forth. Linda and my mom managed to help me to my feet, and Tim and I went to his room. I sat with Tim on his bed, still locked in a hug. The sobs were starting to slow down, and I waved Linda and my Mom out of the room.

We sat that way for an interminable amount of time. Tim finally stopped crying, and I asked what had started it.

Tim told me of the conversation he had with my mom and my brother. He admitted he’d asked grandma if I was becoming a faggot, and told me that TJ had said he might kill me if he said the wrong thing. He told me he was scared, and finally, he told me he loved me.

“So,” I said, “you want to know if I’m a faggot?” I barked a short ugly little laugh.

Tim flinched at the sound. “Son, I just don’t know. I don’t know what I am anymore. I sure as hell DON’T like whatever it is, and would change it if I could.”

He looked at me, “Huh? I thought you wanted this.”

“Timmy, how could I possible want this? Getting raped is no fun, getting beaten is no fun. Having your son ask if you’re a faggot, now THAT is REALLY no fun.”

Tim flinched, but pushed on, “But Uncle TJ and grandma said you’ve always wanted to be a girl, and that means you’re not a faggot!”

“Not quite, Tim. I would have been willing to be either a guy or a girl, just not a ‘tween.’ I tried to be a guy, but I never, ever, not even once, felt like one. Living that lie hurt, but you know what hurts the most?”

“What?”

“Being different! Do you know what it’s like to be different? Of course you don’t. Everything in your life has been so ‘normal.’ You’re popular in school, have a nice girlfriend, your grades are decent, you have lots of friends. Oh my gosh, how I envy you that. When I was your age, I had none of those.”

“I’ve tried so damned hard all of my life to be something I’m not. IF your mom and Hal hadn’t come up with this insane idea, we’d never be having this conversation. You would probably never know about me being a woman.”

I had to move, the pain was becoming unbearable, so I moved to his desk chair. It swiveled and rocked, which suited me. Unconsciously, I found myself rocking back and forth as I continued. “But, they did. You can’t blame your mom, and please don’t blame Hal,” I pleaded. “I could have said no. But son, I couldn’t. They were offering me a chance to stop living a lie. It seemed like an answer to the prayers I’ve prayed since I was five or six.

I shifted in the chair looking for a more comfortable position. “I’ve always been different, but you’ve known that, haven’t you?”

“I guess,” Tim wouldn’t look me in the eye.

“I’ve always, well, at least since I was five or six, known I was different. I tried to be like everyone else, but knew I wasn’t. I always felt somehow in between being a boy and a girl. My body said boy, my heart, soul, and mind screamed GIRL!

“I hid it. I hid it from your grandma and grandpa. I hid it from your uncles. I hid it from everyone. Son, it was so DAMNED lonely; always doing “guy” things so no one would think I was queer or different.

“When I was twelve, other boys were mowing lawns and delivering newspapers for money. I was babysitting; little children, even babies. I enjoyed it so much. The only way I got away with it was your grandma set it up. I’d look into their little faces and melt when they smiled or laughed for me. Your grandma said it was because I was a nurturing person.”

“How would YOU feel if you always had to pretend to be someone else? Maybe your sister. … Remember, you could NEVER, NOT EVEN ONCE, slip. I grew up scared all the time. Just ONE slip could result in humiliation or a beating, or maybe something worse.

“Son, I fought it. I did every lousy macho thing I could think of. Went hunting and fishing, hated it. Played football, hated it. Played other sports, hated it. Hung with guys and worked on cars … Damn! I REALLY hated that.”

“I went to the doctors when I was in college. I hoped they might be able to make me normal. They couldn’t help me. All they would do is tell me that mentally I was a woman. It scared me. It still scares me.”

“Except for the doctors, your mom was the first person I ever really shared this with. Thank God for your mom.” I began to weep, “Do you know what she said?”

Tim shook his head.

“She said she thought she was the luckiest woman in the world. I couldn’t believe it. She said that at least she had a husband who was sharing and sensitive. Did you know that your mom and I used to go out as two women some of the time? Places like Disneyland, a trip to Lake Tahoe. No one EVER guessed. Those were some of the happiest times in my life, and I think your mom would say the same thing.”

“Then this came along. Hal offered me a LOT of money to be Kate for the week of Comdex. I thought ’What the hell?’ It seemed like a harmless way to make enough money to pay off a lot of bills. It was fine during the day. I think I did a good job for Cendar, and everyone was so supportive. The only problem, was Hal. He kept throwing surprises at me. Do you know what he spent on my wedding rings even though I would only need them for a few days? I checked on-line, the diamond alone was over $150,000.00. Then he tells me that the rings are mine.

“It got to be evening, and I found out that I would be guest of honor at a banquet. So there I was, “Kate” to a room full of people, and someone made a toast to me, well, Kate, I suppose. You know about toasts?”

“That’s where someone says something nice about you and everyone drinks?” he said.

“Close enough. Well, if I remember correctly, it was Andy Jeeves, and he made a toast on my, that is, Kate’s, return. I was so embarrassed I could have died right there. Then someone began tapping on their glass with a spoon, and soon everyone was doing it. Do you know what that means?”

“Not really,” he replied. I think he knew but was avoiding it.

I sighed. “Usually it only happens at a wedding. It means the people want to see the bride and groom kiss. That night in Las Vegas, they wanted to see Hal kiss Kate.”

Tim’s eyes went wide, “You didn’t, did you?”.

“Well, they just kept on tapping their glasses. I looked at Hal, and he looked at me. If we didn’t kiss, they would just keep on banging on those damned glasses. Hal leaned down and I remember thinking how weird it was. The kiss itself was all together different than I was expecting. It was just the gentlest of kisses, hardly more romantic than kissing your grandmother.
“But I was on the receiving end, and to my surprise, I enjoyed it.” I was blushing by this time, and Tim was having a hard time suppressing a giggle fit at my discomfort. “Yeah … YOU go ahead and laugh, but I got trapped into doing it, and to my amazement, enjoyed it.

“Son, it felt so right. Hal made me feel protected and loved. It was making me crazy. I really seemed to be losing control. Then he changed my room reservation to a suite in a gorgeous hotel — without telling me. I blew up at him for that one. I went from feeling loved, to feeling like I was being manipulated in just a few minute’s time. So I yelled at him. Hal gave me this little puppy dog look, and I about melted when he started crying. He really loved Kate, and couldn’t keep me and Kate separated in his mind. The next morning, he did it again. He gave me documents to prove I was Kate, more jewelry, and again I felt I had lost any control I might have had.”

I turned bright red as I continued. “That was at breakfast, and NO we didn’t spend the night together. But, after breakfast, he kissed me.”

I could see Tim was squirming, really embarrassed by this, “It was wonderful. For the very first time in my life I was kissed like I had only dreamed of before. My arms wrapped around his neck, seemingly on their own. He pulled me close, and Oh My Gosh, he made me feel so VERY special and loved. I knew I was in trouble. I knew that,”

“Enough! I get it!” Tim interrupted, sputtering and rolling his eyes in disgust.

I began giggling in embarrassment, and Tim began to chuckle. I realized I was giving maybe TOO MUCH information to my sixteen year old son. Lisa would have understood and enjoyed my memories of the kiss; Tim was too obviously a teen age boy to enjoy something so romantic. The humor of the moment had a cleansing, healing effect.

“Anyway,” I continued, “I was so confused by the way things were going I HAD to get your mom to Las Vegas. Trouble is, once she got there, things went even further sideways. I totally lost control. By the end of the week, I’d made more money than I could imagine, all tax free. Hal met your mom, and liked what he saw. He offered her a job that paid more than the two of us were earning, promised to pay for your education and Lisa’s, and promised me a job paying more in a year than I would have made in 10 years at the University.

“But … I would have to live full time as Kate, and at least publicly, be Hal’s wife. I let your mom and Hal talk me into it.”

“Well, that may not be totally true. It excited me. It seemed to be a God given opportunity. Still, I was scared from the first day that things were going out of control. That’s how I wound up as Kate, living full time as the woman the doctors had always told me I was. And I could finally buy you and Lisa all the things I’d always wanted to buy you. The plan was I would live as your dad half the time in California, and half the time I would be Kate.”

“I could finally be who God intended I be. I knew I was a lousy dad, and I knew I was a failure as a man. Suddenly, I could be good at my life.”

“Hey, that’s not true!” Tim interrupted. “You have to know, you just gotta know! As much as you thought you weren’t doing it well, I want you to know you did great. You were a GREAT Dad. You weren’t a failure, or bogus, or any of that. You were my Dad, and way better than my friends’ dads! I mean … we’re together as a family. You’d always listen before blowing up or punishing me. I think you just used the word, you are CARING. I love you!

“Tim, I’m so sorry. I tried, I tried so hard. And I failed. Does that make me a faggot? I don’t know. If I am, how? Am I gay for loving your mother? Or am I gay for loving Hal? And Tim, you have to know both your mom and I have come to love Hal. It’s totally out of my control. I don’t think your mom, me, or even Hal has a clue where it will lead.”

“Did you really try to kill yourself?”

“Yeah Tim, I did. I thought it would be better for everyone if I just died and went away.”

I could see Tim struggling with tears. “It’s okay to cry, Son.” I reached out to touch his cheek. At my touch his tears started, and I handed him a tissue. “I hurt so damned bad, and I had to make the pain stop. I thought you, Lisa and your mom would be better off without the freak I’ve become. I still don’t know if I can go on living. BUT, I’m going to try. I just can’t hurt you, your mom, or Lisa like that.

“Sometimes life is a series of sacrifices. Sometimes it means putting others ahead of yourself. I’m not going to kill myself, so don’t worry too much about that. I just hope you can accept me for who I am.”

Tim hung his head, then looked at me sadly. “I don’t know if I can. It’s gonna take some time, but I’ll try. I’ve got to figure out how I’m gonna live with two moms.”

“That’s all I ask. Hey, can you help me to my room? I need to lay down for a bit. Seems someone bashed the bejeebers outa me, and I need a little rest.”

Tim helped me to my room, where I kicked off my booties and lay on top of the bed. It seemed neither of us wanted this time to end.

Tim sat on the side of the bed next to me. “Do you remember when you were little?” I asked. “One of our favorite times of the day was nap time. You remember our song?”

Tim gave me a little smile and nodded. I sang to him,

“It’s nap time, It’s nap time, It’s Dad and Timmy’s nap time
Nap Time, Nap time, it’s time to take a nap!”

Tim began to tear up. I pulled him close, and he snuggled up against me. It felt great having him nestled beside me. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard Tim whisper to me, “I love you ... Mom.”

Hal came in about 5:30 and asked, “Hon, are you up to this party? If you want, I’ll make excuses for you.” I looked around. There was no sign of Tim. Yawning, I said, “I don’t know, Hal. I don’t want to let the guests down, but I still hurt a lot, and frankly, I look like hell.”

“Yeah, I know. Why don’t you play it by ear? I’ll make excuses for you, and let everyone know what happened. We’ll eat dinner about 7:00, and if you want to come down, great! Otherwise, I’m sure Vikki will bring you a tray.”

“That might be best. I’ll think about it. Could you send my mom in?”

Hal reached down and kissed my forehead, “Sure. I love you — have I told you that today?”

“No, you were too busy leering this morning. Thanks, and thanks for sleeping with me last night. You’ll be here tonight, won’t you?”

Hal gave me that infuriating smile of his. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away!”

“Oh, you! Get out of here and take care of our guests!”

“Oh, hey, I forgot, I know it’s not like your other wedding bands, but until we get them back, would you wear this set?” Hal slipped a gorgeous wedding band set on my finger. It certainly was NOT as huge as my other set, but I think he knew how upset I’d be if it had been.

“They’re lovely, thanks,” I said reaching up to kiss him.

“I’ll see you later,” he said. I smiled as he left the room.

Mom came into the room a few minutes later, looking gorgeous, and I was betting Annie had something to do with it.

“Hi, that’s a beautiful dress. One of Annie’s creations?” I asked.

“Yes it is. Hal said you wanted to see me?”

“Can you tell me about it now?”

My mom sighed, making a HUGE production of it.

“I was afraid you would remember to ask.” She sat on the edge of the bed, and gently stroked my head. “Are you sure you want the details?”

I nodded.

“When I was seventeen, you already know that I’d been married and divorced. Times were hard in Oklahoma. I’d never gone to high school, and I was working as a waitress in a road house south of Tulsa. About the only people with money to spend were the oil roughnecks. They would come in, order whatever they wanted, and usually leave a big tip. One night, this oil stained brute, they called him Tiny, but he stood six foot four, came in and wanted more than was on the menu. I told him to get lost, and called the owner. Tiny slapped me, and started to pull me outside. Ralph, the owner came around the counter with a shotgun at the ready, and told him to get the hell out of there.

“Tiny snarled something at Ralph, who promptly fired the shotgun into the wall above Tiny. Well, let me tell you, Tiny got the hell out of there real fast.” Mom reached over and grabbed a tissue.

“We closed a couple of hours later; at 10:30 I think. I walked out of the restaurant, and began walking home. It was about half a mile. I’d gotten maybe half-way home, when Tiny leapt out from behind a tree, grabbed me around the throat, and pulled me into the bushes. He slugged me a couple of times, and told me if I made a sound he’d kill me right then and there.”

My mom was quietly leaking tears. Her voice showed no emotion — it came out totally dead. I sat up and held her while she continued her story.

“He pushed me to the ground, ripped my panties off, dropped his pants and took me right there. He was like an animal. He just held me down and began ramming his dick into me. Eventually, he found the right hole, and settled into a pounding rhythm. It hurt, a lot. But the physical pain was nothing compared to how it made me feel. Eventually, he grunted a couple of time and climaxed. He stood up, pulled up his pants, zipped his fly, grabbed my ripped panties, twirled the on his finger and left me lying there. At that moment, I wanted to die. I felt dirty, humiliated, and worthless.

“Oh God, I know that feeling,” I muttered, crying along with her.

“Oh Baby, if I could take the pain, I would. It gets better, honest.”

“What happened?”

“Well, eventually I made it home. I spent an hour trying to get clean, but I still felt dirty. I went to bed, and cried myself to sleep. The next day, I walked to work. Ralph took one look at me, and he knew what had happened. I tried to tell him my eyes were blackened when I tripped and fell. He was having none of it.”

“Ralph was a very direct sort of man. He looked straight at me and said ‘It was that son of a bitch Tiny, wasn’t it?’ I never was very good at lying, and I nodded. ‘Did he rape you?’ Again, I gave a small nod. Ralph opened the cash drawer, pulled out $10.00 and told me to go see the doctor. I tried to argue, Ralph told me to shut up and do it or find another job.”

“Jobs were scarce, so I swallowed my pride, took off my apron and walked down the street to the doctor’s. He checked out the damage, told me I would be all right, and told me I should file a report with the police. I couldn’t do that. My ex-husband worked for the police department and it would be really ugly. You have to remember, this was the late 40’s, in a small Oklahoma town. Things we now take for granted just didn’t happen then. When I tried to pay, the doctor refused, and apologized that he couldn’t do more.

“I walked away with a bottle of codeine pills and returned to the restaurant. I told Ralph the doctor said I would be okay and handed him the $10.00. Ralph refused it, told me to keep the money and get to work.”

“Two days later, Tiny was found by the side of the road. He’d been shot at close range with a shotgun, castrated, and his balls shoved in his mouth. There was a sign around his neck saying ‘This here is what happens to rapists in Oklahoma.’”

“I don’t know whether Ralph did it or not. I never asked, and two weeks later, I left Oklahoma to live with my sister in California. A month later, I met your dad, and we were married six months later. Damn, I wish he was here now.” My dad had passed away two years earlier.

“You know, he’d probably do the same thing to the scum that raped you.”

The thought of my dad, my rape, and the story my mom had told had me crying again.

“Shush, Baby, you’ll get through this. … I did. It takes time, and love. The love you have in full measure. If you allow it, you’ll have the time and heal. But, you can’t just end it. I know what it’s like; I wanted to kill myself, too. Promise me you won’t give up?”

I couldn’t speak, so I nodded instead, and we sat there crying on each other. At that moment, I really missed my dad. I thought he probably wouldn’t have accepted me as Kate, but he would have loved me. It occurred to me to sort of ask her how dad would have felt.

“Mom, do you think dad would have liked to have had a daughter?”

“Yes. Let me tell you a secret I’ve kept your whole life. Though you tried so hard to hide it, your dad and I knew you didn’t like being a boy. For years I felt guilty. I had read an article about guys who felt they were really women. The article said one of the things that might have triggered it was drugs taken during pregnancy; drugs I took while carrying you. It nearly broke my heart watching you trying to be a stereotypical “guy”, when I knew you couldn’t stand it. We didn’t know what to do, or how to help.”

“Your dad was proud of you when you played football. Not because of how well you did, but because you had the will to do it even though he knew you didn’t like it. Your dad knew you did it just for him. Baby, your daddy would be very proud of you today.”

“Would you stop it already?” I said as the tears gushed again. The bed began to look like a war zone from the discarded tissues. “Every time you open your mouth you make me cry again.”

“Didn’t you know that’s one of the things mother’s are for?” she gently teased.

Linda opened the door, and asked what was wrong. Mom told her nothing, just a little mother-daughter bonding.

Linda looked a bit quizzical, and mom began to laugh. “I’ve been telling Kate her dad would be proud of her.” She said nothing of the rape, so I didn’t bring it up.

“Well, Duh! Everyone who knows Kate is proud of her,” Linda replied.

“Okay, is that enough of the “I Love Kate” fan club?” I asked. “Isn’t it about time for dinner?”

“Actually, that’s why I’m here. Hal wanted to know if you were going to come down or not. And, you looked soooooooo cute snuggled with Tim earlier.”

“You saw that?” I smiled. Linda nodded. “I might as well go down to dinner, I’m feeling a little better. Will you guys give me a hand? I don’t think I can see well enough to do my makeup.”

“Kate, no one would expect you to put makeup on your battered face. If you want, get a spritz of perfume, wash your face, and let’s go downstairs. When Hal told the guests what had happened, the men wanted blood — but not half as much as the women did.”

I followed Linda’s advice, and ten minutes later, Linda, my mom, and I went downstairs.

We entered the dining room, and Hal walked over to meet me as the room burst into applause. I blushed, started crying again, and let Hal seat me in my chair at the foot of the table before he returned to his at the other end.

As stressful at the past few days had been, it was a relief to sit there, chat with people who cared, and listen to the strolling carolers as they performed Christmas carols. It was beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I smiled at the thought.

Retiring early, I went upstairs and got ready for bed. Tom came in with another Ambien, watched as I took it, and I went to bed. Some time later, Linda and Hal joined me. I snuggled in, and slept peacefully through the night.

------------------------
Cruise Ship Golden Princess, Cozumel, Mexico, Friday, December 21, 2001

John Maxwell and Rob Lewis never left the ship. Pat and Sheila were both relieved and disappointed. Relieved that there was no possibility of getting rid of the jewels, disappointed there would be no company paid sightseeing.

Mark Chapman looked with satisfaction at the arrest warrant that had been faxed to him from Miami. John Maxwell would be taken into custody on charges of … piracy (Mark thought that charge creative), making a terrorist threat, rape, and grand larceny.

Additionally, the State of Florida had issued a warrant for sexual assault, extreme sexual battery, attempted murder, grand theft, and kidnapping, (again, a creative charge in Chapman’s mind). Rob Lewis would be arrested on charges of conspiracy to commit a terrorist act, and conspiracy to commit piracy.

After lengthy discussions with Captain Breton, and his security officer Sarah Matthews, it was decided to take the two men into custody as soon at the Grand Princess crossed into US territorial waters. According to the ship’s navigator, the Grand Princess would cross that line shortly before 2215 hours.

At 2230, the arrest began. Both men were in the Wheelhouse Lounge, and it was clear they both were well on the way to intoxication. Two ship’s officers politely asked them to help clear up a problem in their room. The story was, that the ship’s sensors had detected an abnormally high temperature, no, not a fire they explained. But, to respect their privacy, they were asked to assist in sorting things out.

They followed the two officers to an elevator. When the elevator arrived, no one was surprised to see three passengers already on the elevator. One of the officers reached over, used an override key, and the elevator descended to an area of the ship normally off limits to passengers. As they stepped out of the elevator, there were additional security staff members who quickly took the protesting men into custody.

Mark Chapman stepped forward. “John Maxwell and Robert Lewis? I’m Mark Chapman of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. You are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult with an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning, now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now or in the future without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?”

“Fuck no! You can’t do this to us. We’re on a foreign flag vessel and outside your fucking jurisdiction.”

“Well, gentlemen, you will be held in close confinement, unable to speak with each other until we dock in Port Everglades. At that time, a Federal Marshall will take you into custody, and you will be arraigned before a Federal Judge in Miami.”

Sarah Matthews and staff locked the two in crew cabins that served as the ship’s brig. Saturday, Sarah, in conjunction with Mark Chapman and the Cendar Forensics team, would begin the task of searching their cabin.

Pat called the Steven’s Estate. “Boss? They’ve both been taken into custody.” Pat went into the details of the arrest. After hanging up the phone, he turned to Sheila, “Now that we can relax, would you allow me the honor of buying you a drink?”

Sheila laughed at him. “Only if you let me buy the first one.” The two strolled down to the Wheelhouse Lounge — somehow that seemed the most appropriate place, and each ordered a Sam Adams, in the bottle. “Here’s to a project finished well, even if totally fucked up in the beginning.”

Pat clinked his bottle against hers, “You know? I’ll drink to that!”

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Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts. Friday, December 21, 2001

Jeeves walked to the Master Bedroom, knocked softly and tried to enter. The door was locked. Taking out his master key, he quietly unlocked the door, and walked to where Hal was sleeping.

Jeeves smiled at the sight. There hadn’t been much to smile about lately, but Hal, Kate, and Linda brought to mind three puppies cuddled together. Tapping Hal on the shoulder, he was not surprised to see Hal instantly awake, scanning the room. Jeeves leaned down and whispered the news. Hal’s face broke out in a grin. Jeeves quietly left, locking the door behind him.

Hal leaned over and woke Linda. Linda looked a question at him. He smiled and touched his finger to his lips before he gently shook Kate.

“What’s wrong Hal? Kate asked in alarm.”

“Jeeves just gave me my Christmas present. The only thing I want for Christmas this year.”

Comprehension dawned in Linda’s mind. Kate, with the Ambien still working on her, was a bit slower. “What are you talking about?” she yawned.

“Merry Christmas, Kate. John and Rob were just arrested by the FBI. They will be celebrating Christmas behind bars in a Federal jail cell. They will never again have a chance to hurt anyone.”

“That’s nice,” Kate muttered as the Ambien carried her back to sleep. Hal and Linda laughed. Each kissed Kate, rewarded by the smile that played across her battered and broken lips.

“You know, I think she did hear you,” Linda told Hal. Linda and Hal snuggled back down into the bed, close to Kate, hearts lighter for the news.

To be continued.

     
     
“Yeah, and like so many great inventions it was accidental. Well, shall we open it up and see what we have?” Mark asked as he removed the bucket lid. Pulling his gloves back on, he reached in and removed the hemostat holding the plastic bag. “Will you look at that? You just don’t get prints any better! Looks like a thumb and forefinger on the top, and thumb and two or three fingers on the side.” Mark carefully photographed the fingerprints, and then sealed the unopened Ziploc ® bag in an evidence bag. “If the apparent stains prove to be from the victim, I would say Mr. Maxwell is going to prison for a very, very long time.”

Comdex - Christmas Morn — Chapter 7
Copyright Beth Williams 2004/8

Cruise Ship Golden Princess,
At Sea,
Saturday, December 22, 2001

Mark Chapman spent the day collecting evidence in the suite shared by John Maxwell and Rob Lewis. Pat and Sheila watched, touching nothing, but documenting every detail of the FBI agent’s investigation. Mark photographed each step of the process, cataloging and describing each item seized. In addition to Pat and Sheila Sarah Matthews observed the process for Princess, keeping her own running photographic and written log. When asked she opened the room safe. No one was surprised to find jewelry matching the description of Kate’s missing items.

One item in the safe called for immediate attention; a Ziploc ® bag, which seemingly contained a pair of woman’s underwear. The underwear appeared to be stained. Mark made the decision to recover any latent fingerprints from the bag before packing it away for further analysis.

Mark asked for and received a five-gallon plastic bucket with lid, a sixty-watt lamp, and an aluminum soft drink can. He bent a coat hanger so that the wire formed a hook and jammed it tightly to suspend the hook inside the bucket. Wearing Nitrile gloves, he took a pair of hemostats and picked the bag up by one of the bottom corners. He attached the hemostats and Ziploc ® bag to the hook on the clothes hanger. He poured a small quantity of water into the bottom of the bucket and put the empty soft drink can upside down in the bottom. From his briefcase, he took a bottle of superglue and poured about half an ounce into the depression on the bottom of the soft drink can. Attaching the lid firmly, he turned the high intensity lamp on the bucket.

“That should do quite nicely and should be ready in 10 or 15 minutes,” he muttered to himself.

“May I ask, just what that is?” Sarah enquired.

Mark laughed, “I’m sorry, I got so involved in setting this up. What you see is an improvised cyanoacrylate-fuming chamber . Back in the early eighties a scientist in Japan discovered that the fumes from super glue react to the salts in fingerprints. In England, Scotland Yard stumbled onto the same fact. What happens is a white residue forms on the ridges of the fingerprint making them visible. It works great. As long as you don’t fume the item for too long you can get extraordinarily clear prints. And the reason I did it here was to preserve the prints. The hardened super glue will stand up to mild handling. If they are there I don’t want to lose the prints.”

“That’s amazing.”

“Yeah, and like so many great inventions it was accidental. Well, shall we open it up and see what we have?” Mark asked as he removed the bucket lid. Pulling his gloves back on, he reached in and removed the hemostat holding the plastic bag. “Will you look at that? You just don’t get prints any better! Looks like a thumb and forefinger on the top, and thumb and two or three fingers on the side.” Mark carefully photographed the fingerprints, and then sealed the unopened Ziploc ® bag in an evidence bag. “If the apparent stains prove to be from the victim, I would say Mr. Maxwell is going to prison for a very, very long time.”

In the closet amongst the dirty clothes, they recovered a pair of men’s underwear. The boxers were similarly stained. Mark packed them away in an evidence bag. Finally, the agent supervised the storage of the men’s personal effects.

They gathered everything together, locked and sealed it in the agent’s stateroom.

---------------------------

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Saturday, December 22, 2001

I awoke and groaned at the pain in my posterior. Struggling, I climbed over Linda and managed to make it to the toilet without wetting myself. ‘Another flipping day in paradise’ I thought. I squirmed my way back into bed, worming my way back into bed between Hal and Linda. I settled back into my cocoon between my husband and my wife, and prepared to drift back into sleep.

Thinking back on my dreams, hoping to notice the thread of a pleasant one, I encountered a fleeting memory. That memory was exceedingly pleasant. John Maxwell was in jail. I tried to drift back into sleep. “John Maxwell is in jail?” In my dream state, I thought I had said it mentally. Instead, it came out as a scream.

Hal came instantly awake, looking around for any danger. Linda rolled over, assessed the situation and began laughing; Hal was not amused.

“Hal, I believe you were right. Sleeping Beauty did hear you last night!”

“What are you talking about,” I asked indignantly, startled from my own groggy sleep.

“Love, you just realized what we told you last night. After you went to sleep Andy told us that John Maxwell and Rob Lewis had been taken into custody by the FBI. Your exact words were “that’s nice” then you fell back to sleep. They are in jail, and will probably serve very, VERY long prison sentences.” Linda told me.

I looked at the clock. It was 6:30 in the morning. Yawning, I asked, “Can we please go back to sleep?” I immediately turned over; asleep before I finished the turn.

------------------------------

Linda looked at Hal. The two exchanged a glance and a smile. Chuckling, Hal whispered, “Damn, I wish she would get a bit more regular in her sleeping patterns.”

“You jerk,” Linda replied with a smile. “I’m willing for her to wake me by surprise every day of my life if it will help her sort out what has happened to her.”

Hal sighed, “Yeah, I agree. But this time she nearly caused me to pee all over myself.” Linda laughed as Hal climbed out of bed with as much dignity as possible, and made his way to the toilet.

Finished with his business; Hal looked at the two women laying in his bed. Both were soundly asleep. One was the love of his life; the other the love of her life.

Once again, Hal promised himself to do whatever was necessary for Kate. Yes, he loved her. Yes, he wanted her in his life. Examining his feelings, he was surprised to realize he loved Linda in much the same way. Startled at the thought, Hal pulled on a thick terry cloth robe and slipped out of the room. He walked downstairs to the first floor, lamenting Kate’s injuries and inability to use the stairs.

In his office, Hal pulled out a Bible. In his own mind, he had determined that if God was important to Kate, then He would have to be important to him. Kate was so fragile, and her relationship with God seemed to be the only thing holding her together. The original Kate had given the Bible to him the day they wed. It was Kate’s wedding gift to Hal. It was their family Bible. Till now, he had seldom opened it past the cover page. It was a leather bound New American Standard version of the Bible. Hal opened it to the beginning.

“In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth…”

Hal was an accomplished speed-reader. As he read, the majestic cadence of the prose spoke to Hal in a way he had never experienced before.

Hal jumped from one book to the other, skipping some Old Testament books, reading others. He then turned to the New Testament where he read the Gospels, marveling at the simple message of love and redemption. Hal closed the Bible, surprised that he had spent nearly two hours reading a book he would have ignored only weeks before. He went to the kitchen, and requested breakfast for three, and then he went back to the bedroom carrying a tray of coffee and tea.

Kate and Linda lay cuddled in the middle of the bed. Hal could see that much of the initial swelling in Kate’s face had subsided. Her bruises were now a vivid yellowish purple. He prepared a pot of Earl Grey tea for Kate, and poured coffee for Linda and himself. Walking to the windows Hal threw back the drapes exposing the room to the light of a crisp winter morning. Linda sat up, stretched, and smelling the coffee, reached for her cup. Reaching out, Hal gently woke Kate.

“Did I dream it or did you guys really tell me John Maxwell was arrested?” were the first words from Kate.

“Jeez…. I think I’ll try some of that Ambien,” Hal remarked. “You were really zonked. The FBI took him and his roommate Rob into custody as soon as Golden Princess entered US waters. They will be arraigned before a Federal Judge on Monday.”

“Thank God,” she breathed.

“Thank God it is,” Hal whispered, surprising both Linda and Kate with his obvious sincerity.

There was a knock on the door, and Anna, one of the morning cooks pushed in a cart loaded with breakfast. Kate sat at the table as Linda and Hal served her. Anna placed bowls of scrambled eggs, home fries, a platter of sausage patties, fruit and various breads on the table. The trio helped themselves to the food and discussed the upcoming day.

“The open house begins at 2:00 this afternoon, and will last until 7:00 tonight,” Hal said.

“Hon, your mom, Jean, Lisa and I are going shopping; do you feel up to coming?” Linda asked.

“No! I mean, well, I still hurt, and, uh, oh hell, I’m afraid,” Kate replied.

“You are going to have to go back out in the real world, you know,” Hal gently reminded her. “You can’t live like a hermit and stay in the house forever.”

“I know, but I’m just not ready yet.”

“Kate, you will be going out tomorrow. I promised the kids we would all attend church together, and you don’t want to make me go back on my word do you?” Hal stated.

“Why? You don’t even like going. It was all I could do to drag you along,” Kate whined.

“Babe, there’s been many things changed in the last couple of weeks. One of them is me. I don’t know where this road is leading, but church, and God, will be a part of it. Please don’t let me down. Say you’ll go with us tomorrow?” Hal managed to appear pleading, defiant, and sincere all in one simple statement.

Kate blushed in embarrassment. For her, a commitment to Jesus had been a part of her life since early college; as unquestioned as the sun or the moon. For the first time in her life, she was the one on the outside being invited to church. Kate had long known the church was a hospital, not a hospice. It was a place to go to get well, not to die. Hal's words were a major reversal; her “heathen” husband was the one inviting the “believing” Kate to church. Now that she was the one who needed healing, she knew that she would still rather die. The pain was real; maybe not as intense as the past few days, but she still hurt. Everything came crashing down and the tears welled up flowing freely down her face. “Oh God, what have I done?” she cried. Sobs coursed through her body.

Linda pulled her into her arms, and turned to Hal, “Maybe you had better get Dorothy up here.”

Hal ran for the door, Linda made soothing sounds, and held on.

Moments passed. Hal found Dorothy downstairs at breakfast, and practically carried her back to Kate. Dorothy entered the room, looked at her daughter, and asked Hal to get the doctor and then leave them for a while.

Hal called Dr. Tom and explained what had happened. Hal then went back to his study and began to pray, “God, I don’t even know how to pray, please do something for her. I know she loves you, and I love her. Please help her. Help me to know how to help her. Amen.”

He had seldom felt so helpless.

-----------------------------------

I couldn’t believe it. Hal had asked, no, had begged me to go to church. No way did I want to go. Though I knew it to be a place of healing, in my mind I felt my hurts were too great for even God to deal with. Then I realized that I had not yet explored all the depths of my depression. In my time of greatest need I found that I had turned my back on my greatest help. “Oh God, what have I done?” I cried. I would rather have died than turn my back on my Savior. Somehow I found myself in Linda’s sweet embrace, yet again sobbing my eyes out.

Some minutes later I felt my mom join us as she began stroking my back. I heard her whispering in my ear. There really were no words, just sounds of comfort, humming a bit of a childhood lullaby. Mom and Linda gently rocked me back and forth, trying to love the hurt away. I don’t know how long it was, but I finally ran out of tears. Still I held on. As long as they were there, I knew I still had hope.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Dr. Tom came in and asked if he could give me something to help manage my anxiety. He didn’t understand, but rather than try to explain, I accepted his offer. He injected 4 mg of Lorazepam and within minutes, I began to feel myself relax. Dr. Tom listened to my heart, checked my blood pressure, reminded me not to wig out or to do something to harm myself. He half jokingly reminded me he still had the restraints, then he left us alone.

As the lethargy induced by the drug increased, the urgency of my predicament began to subside. “Linda, what am I going to do?” I cried.

“How about you tell us what happened, what set you off?” Mom asked.

“Hal asked me to church, and I realized that was the last place I wanted to be. I feel like a hypocrite, and I feel like I’ve turned my back on God. I guess I feel like I’ve rejected Jesus.”

“Uh oh, not my area of expertise,” my mom complained. “Do you mind if I ask TJ to come in?”

“I guess, it couldn’t get any worse,” I said, as I found myself tearing up again.

Mom went downstairs to find TJ. Linda went into the bathroom and returned with a glass of water and a cool washcloth. She gently wiped my face, giving me little, “butterfly” kisses. The kind that you just barely feel, but you can feel the beauty and love left behind.

Mom returned, followed shortly by my brother. TJ was carrying a covered tray. He sat it down on the table in front of me and said, “I guess this time I really pay off,” and with a little flourish he removed the tray lid. There on the plate was a sandwich of white Wonder Bread, and I could see all it contained was pickle relish.

I began again to sob in earnest.

“If I who love you more than I can ever tell, refuse to turn my back on you, how can you believe that Jesus, who loves you infinitely more than I could ever imagine, could possibly turn his back on you?” he inquired.

I just continued to sob.

“Kate, remember the Bible, Jesus said: ‘I will give them eternal life and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to me is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of my Father’s hand.’”

“Now I don’t mean to be cruel, but answer some questions. Did you choose to be transgendered?”

“No, it’s something I’ve fought all my life,” I answered.

“Do you believe the Bible?”

“Of course I do,” I replied indignantly.

“Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose again?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Then what’s the problem? You know Scripture. You know of the love of God. You’ve confessed Him as Lord and Savior. Do you now doubt that He is working in your life?”

“No,” I managed to whisper.

“Kate, since you first told me, I’ve been reading about being transgendered. It’s not been easy, and I don’t like everything I’ve found. To the best I can determine, the doctors and scientists are convinced that gender, like sexual preference, is hard wired in the brain. You were born this way. And that's what God says through the Old Testament prophets ‘Before you were formed in the womb I knew you, before you were born I sanctified you.’ You were born this way; you didn’t choose this for yourself. Right now your head is twisted a bit, maybe it’s the hormones, maybe it’s the trauma, or maybe it’s the drugs, but get this straight. You are a child of God. He loves you, and despite your current situation He has a wonderful plan for your life. He ordained you would be this way. Do you want to argue with Him?”

Wanly, I smiled at my brother.

“Now eat your sandwich!” he said, smiling at me. I pulled him close and sobbed. Healing and understanding would take time, but TJ had given me back hope. He smiled as I pulled away.

For the first time in my life, I ate a pickle relish sandwich. In itself, it was an act of faith. I could get through this; all I had to do was live.

“TJ could you ask Hal to come back now?” I asked.

“Sure Sis.” TJ gave me a parting hug, and then startled me by kissing me on the cheek — the first kiss I could ever remember getting from him. “What’s the matter?” he asked, “I always kiss the prettiest girl in the room.” Laughing he hurried out the door before I could throw something at him.

“Hon, I think he accepts you, what do you think?” my mom asked.

“It’s strange, I mused, “One of the reasons I always kept Beth hidden was the fear of alienating my family. That’s what usually happens.”

“Baby, when has our family ever been normal?” Mom jokingly asked in reply. A point I had to concede.

“After all,” Linda chimed in, “you married me, now THAT’S not normal!”

In spite of myself, or perhaps in reaction to the drugs, I began to giggle.

Hal came in. As he heard me giggle, the expression on his face was precious. First he smiled, then a look of wonder quickly passed, followed closely by tears. His head bowed down, and I heard him whisper, “Thank you, I’ll try to justify it. Thank you so much God. Amen.”

Hal look up, wiping at this face. “So, are you going tomorrow?” he asked smilingly.

“Come here you,” I said. He sat on the bed next to me and I pulled him close. “Yes, I’ll go tomorrow. I’m sorry I upset you; it’s all just so hard for me right now. Don’t give up, and I’ll keep on trying.”

“Hon, don’t worry about upsetting me. You are all I care about right now. Whatever I can do, I will do.”

Linda looked at the clock. It was after 10:00 and both Linda and I were still in our nightgowns, Hal in pajamas and robe. She pulled me from the bed, and shooed everyone else out. “Time to get bathed and dressed,” she said with a disgustingly cheerful voice. I knew it was her way of trying to make light of the morning's happenings. I climbed in the shower, and Linda began setting out the clothes for the day.

As I looked at my body, I could see the bruises were beginning to fade. My collarbone still hurt like hell, and my anus was still tender, but I could see my body was beginning to heal. Linda climbed in with me, and washed my back and hair. I turned towards her, and tried to kiss her. Without the support of the bandage the pain from my broken collarbone made it too hard. I gave up. We dried, dressed and went downstairs.

--------------------------

The morning’s shopping trip was pretty well destroyed by my tantrums. I went looking for Tim. I needed to spend time with him. Lisa had pretty well been there through everything. Tim, as I had learned yesterday, was having a rougher time than his sister. I had not had a chance to spend much time with him lately. I finally found him down in his room. Knocking, I called, “Anyone home? Can I come in?”

Tim opened the door, and I saw he was playing a game on the Xbox console. “Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked.

“I still hurt,” I said. “Can I sit down?”

Tim pulled a chair over by his desk for me and I sat down.

“I thought I’d see if you wanted to do something with me. How do you like the Xbox?” I asked.

“You know, I think it’s the best gaming system ever. Would you like to see it?”

“Sure,” I replied. Tim started showing me the game he was playing, Halo. The graphics were intense. The action fast paced. After a few minutes, he asked if I wanted to play with him, and we settled into a “save the universe” session. Linda finally had to track me down. Guests were beginning to arrive for the open house, and Hal was hoping I could at least make an appearance.

Personally, I would rather have stayed with Tim. Instead, I went to my room and changed into “Super Yuletide Hostess” — yeah right. A green plaid jumper over a white sweater with comfortable shoes and I was dressed. I still was not prepared to do makeup. Though most of the swelling had gone down there was no way I could look like anything other than a battered woman. After a little lipstick, and a spritz of perfume Linda and I went downstairs.

Vikki and the staff had a wonderful snack buffet set up. The carolers were performing at one end of the front hall, and people were wandering through the downstairs rooms. I joined Hal at the door where he had thoughtfully placed a chair for me. “I was hoping you could join us,” he said, reaching down to gently kiss me.

“I just hope I don’t scare anyone away,” I replied.

“Don’t be silly.”

I just smiled at him.

I enjoyed sitting there, greeting and chatting with people. The Mooney’s and their children were there, as were Janey and Hiram. Other people from Cendar drifted in and out through the course of the afternoon and evening. At 5:00 Vikki and her staff changed the buffet from snacks to dinner foods.

I suppose some mention must be made about Simon. Apparently, at least according to Annie, Simon had been on good behavior. About 5:30 he showed up, I was actually impressed, he was wearing a nice pair of slacks and a sweater. After mingling for 10 or 15 minutes, he asked if he could talk to me privately. Intrigued, I lead him to my office and sat down while he closed the door.

“I know this is bloody improper of me,” he said, “but are the reports I hear true?”

With Simon, I had learned never assume you know what he is talking about. “What reports?” I asked.

“Never mind,” he said, “looking at you is answer enough,” he turned to go, “please forgive my intrusion,” he said, and damn, I noticed there was a tear in his eye.

“Simon, please sit down,” I said, pointing to a chair beside my desk. He sat down hard, his face a study in contrasts. Now Simon was as British as you can get. He had a strange sense of humor, a delightful accent, and an attitude that was either totally stoic, or totally wise-ass. “Simon, you simply must finish the question.”

“Mrs. Stevens, they say you were raped and brutally beaten, I just needed to know if it was true,” the last came out almost as a whisper.

“Yes Simon, it’s true.” As I answered, it was as though the armor he built around himself evaporated like an icicle on a warm winter’s day. “It will be common knowledge soon,” I added.

“Damn all bloody rapists,” he swore vilely under his breath. “Ah well, this does change things for me. I suspect you will notice a change in my behavior towards you. Not what I would have liked, I assure you, but, there you are.”

“Simon, you are speaking in riddles. Can you please just say what you are trying to say?”

“Sorry, bloody difficult to talk about. I lost a sister, 5 years ago it was. She was beaten and raped. Two weeks later, she slammed her Fiesta into an abutment just before the St. Albans exit on the M1 outside London. Coroner’s inquest ruled it an accident, but I knew better. Jillian had left me a note; I think I am the only one she told about the rape. A day after her “accident” I received a goodbye note. It had all the bloody details — except the name of her attacker. She asked my forgiveness, she said she couldn’t bear to live any longer.”

Simon was openly shedding tears, and I felt as though my heart were being torn in two. I passed a box of tissues to him. “God, I know that feeling,” I said through my own tears.

“Yes, I suspect you do. I could do nothing to help Jill, but it became my quixotic quest to do what I can for other victims. You may think me quite daft, but I choose to strike back when the law fails. Quietly, and without fanfare or notice, I have caused three of the wankers to depart from this world. The first was Jill’s. It took me six months to track him down and be certain. I hate the image, but someone must be the avatar of justice. Someone must seek vengeance for the victims. Had I a sword, I would lay it before you and profess undying fealty. Since I have not a sword, all I can offer is any help I can provide. I am fabulous tilting at windmills you know — at least the computer kind. In addition, I do know the odd martial art or two, as three villains have discovered. I do promise to be good to the staff, can’t have you upset over something I’ve done, at least not now.” Simon stared out the window at the moon lit snow.

“Simon, I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. I know it was hard for you to tell me about your sister. What you don’t know is the doctor’s barely saved me from myself. I thought I had killed myself, and sometimes still wish I were dead. Fortunately, in the opinion of Hal and the others, they got to me in time. I only wish someone had been able to get to your sister. I’ll keep your secrets as you will keep mine. And please, I know it’s forward on my part, but call me Kate.”

“Thank you Kate. I shall be on my good behavior. I should let you get back to your guests. Thank you for your time.”

“Well, I for one am about partied out. I’d much rather be upstairs playing Xbox with my son,” I said, wiping my eyes. “And you are welcome, but also, thank you, I will treasure your offer.”

“Actually Tim is smashingly good with that game console of his. He regularly beats me when we play.”

“Really? Why don’t we go see if he’s still playing?” With that, I opened the hidden door that led to the elevator straight to my room, bypassing the partygoers. “Now you haven’t seen this, I trust?” I asked.

“Seen what?” Simon replied smiling.

Upstairs, we went to Tim’s room, and soon we were playing Halo three player. The three-way split on the screen confused me, and I dropped out to watch the two masters at work. After half an hour or so, I slipped out of the room more or less unnoticed. I returned to my bedroom, fixed my face, went back downstairs, and helped Hal with the last of the partygoers.

By 7:30 the last guest had left. I went upstairs and changed into a nightgown and robe, and wandered down to the family room. My mom, TJ and Jean were watching TV. “Did you guys enjoy the open house?” I asked.

“I’ve got to get out of here before I get too fat!” Jean said laughing, “Vikki’s food would be easy to get used to.”

“I know what you mean,” I replied. “Fortunately, she tries to feed me healthy meals most of the time. And you, brother mine, how are you enjoying your stay?”

“It sure beats Motel 6,” he said. “Tim and I have explored the grounds, and they are fantastic. If it weren’t for the circumstances I’d have to say it’s been a wonderful trip. Did you know there’s a small lake out past the barns?”

“Really?” I replied, “To be truthful, I have not had a chance to really explore, I’ve either been working, confined to the house, unconscious, or away.”

“You know Sis, I’m kind of envious.”

“Oh sure, envious of what?” I snapped. “The rape? The bottomless depression? Wanting to kill myself? The beating? The bruises? Sure, Hal’s got more money then he knows what to do with, but what on earth in my life could you possibly be envious about?”

TJ smiled at me, got up from the table and came over to embrace me. “What I’m envious of, my dear, is the clear and bottomless depths of love of those around you. You never made friends easily, but here you are; loved by Linda, Hal, Annie, your kids, mom, Jean and I, and from what I saw at the open house about a bazillion people who work for your company. You are truly blessed.”

“I would have to agree, Kate.” I turned to see Andy enter the lounge.

“Hi Andy, where have you been?”

“Hermione and I took a couple of days off, it’s been a stressful month,” he said indulging in understatement. “We just got back, but your brother is correct. There are many people, beginning with me, who would do anything for you. Unbelievably, you put life back into Cendar. For some reason, and I’m not a smart enough to know what it is, you, Kate, inspire the people around you.”

I was shocked. I had focused on myself, and failed to notice what was happening around me. I excused myself, honestly stating that I needed to think about what TJ and Andy had said. I went to my room, brushed my teeth, washed, and picked up the Heinlein book I had been reading for the past 2 months. I lay in bed and tried to read but my mind kept returning to what TJ and Andy had said. Linda came in with Dr. Tom; I took my Ambien, and crawled into bed. The last thing I remember was Linda and Dr. Tom talking. I think they thought I had already fallen asleep.

“Damn, I hope she makes it,” Tom said. “Meri and I were talking last night. If anyone deserves happiness it’s Kate.”

“Shush, you’ll wake her,” Linda whispered.

“I know, but still, I wish she could just accept how much the people around her love her, and need her. She’s so hurt and broken right now she can’t see past herself. Linda, in the morning would you tell her Meri was asking about her? Tell her that we also love her. Without her it might have taken me another year to propose to Meri.”

“I will Tom, now go; I need to get ready for bed. If she wakes without Hal and me it triggers a panic attack. Good night.”

“Good night Linda.”

Soon I felt the warmth of Linda as she snuggled against my side, and I fell truly asleep.

--------------------------
Cruise Ship Golden Princess, at sea, 0500 hours, Sunday, December 23, 2001

Sarah Matthews woke John Maxwell early. He would be the first off the ship. Sarah could not resist a chance to taunt him. “You know, you have got to be the stupidest wanker I’ve ever seen. First, you choose my ship to do your deeds, and then you pick the beloved wife of one of the 100 richest men in America. That was stupid. I’ll tell you, there were body guards on board for her protection. You are fortunate to be alive. The three women were in favor of slicing your member in half, lengthwise, then tossing you overboard for the fish to eat. Actually, I would have enjoyed that. The men thought perhaps you should be processed as garbage and thrown overboard. Oh well, men always want to get their tools into things.”

A disheveled, suddenly scared and bleary-eyed John listened.

“Instead, and I don’t know who came up with this, it was decided to allow you to stand trial and be convicted. Lord, have they buggered you there. You are being charged with two Capital crimes under US Federal Law, and one Capital crime under Florida State Law. With the evidence I have seen, there is no question in my mind you are either going to dance Danny Deever or spend the rest of your life being the personal slut to everyone bigger than you. Boy, I cannot wait to see you in skirts with your shaved legs in the air while your boyfriend boffs you. I will bet you’ll start out as a screamer, until he beats you a few times for making too much noise. Then, I will bet you turn into quite the moaner, the men just love that you know. Oh honey, you are going to just LOVE getting to know a real man.”

“That is if you are lucky! Should you somehow escape the charges, why then you only have to worry about the security forces of Cendar Corporation. I can assure you, if that happens, you will disappear without a trace; probably quite nastily. God, I wonder what they would do to you? That entire company is quite peeved at you, you know.”

“Well, I just wanted to brighten your morning before the Federal Marshall comes to take you away. Oh, and by the way, I have chatted with your roommate Rob; I’m sure he will testify in exchange for immunity against the Capital charges. I guess that leaves you quite, quite alone.”

---------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, Sunday, December 23, 2001

I woke up feeling better. Hal was snoring gently on one side; Linda snuggled close on the other. Could it really be true? For the past couple of weeks my self-esteem had been pretty low. I couldn’t understand how I could be so loved. I suppose there was still a part of me that believed what John had said, that I was a freak.

I slipped out of bed, and went into the bathroom. It was early, so I thought I might pamper myself with a bath. I filled the tub with warm water, and added a generous amount of bubble bath. I slipped into the tub and slid down into the water. As I closed my eyes, I experienced an incredible sense of déjá  vu. The next thing I realized, I was screaming, standing upright, shaking like a leaf in the tub. Hal and Linda came racing into the bathroom.

“Kate, what’s wrong?” Hal asked.

Linda gently wrapped a large towel around me, and pulled me to her. “Honey, what happened,” she whispered.

“It was awful, I ran a bath and had just settled in, when suddenly I was back on the ship, killing myself.” I cried. “When is this going to end?”

“Oh Hon, I don’t know; but Hal and I are here for you.”

Hal left the bathroom, and Linda helped me in the shower. Her presence calmed me. I felt like such a wimp. We dressed and went downstairs to breakfast.

I was quite surprised when Sheila and Pat showed up this morning. When they heard I was going to church, they insisted on accompanying me. I was surprised, and asked why.

“Mrs. Stevens, we failed to protect you once. Neither Sheila nor I are willing to see you injured again. We will not fail again. We’ve talked it over, and would like to be permanently assigned to you, if you will have us,” Pat said.

“Mrs. Stevens, Pat speaks for both of us. We feel personally responsible for what happened to you. Please give us a chance,” Sheila asked.

I had discovered being rich wasn’t all beer and skittles. There were ties that bound me to Pat and Sheila as firmly as their honor bound them to me. I didn’t want this. I was, I thought, an adult capable of taking care of myself. Yet reality, reflected in my bruises, proved that I could not protect myself. These two were willing to take a bullet for me, and were begging for the opportunity. How did I get here? How could two such fine people care that much? And yet, clearly they did. All this and more flashed through my mind.

“Okay you two, on my conditions; and this is not negotiable. You will call me Kate, and you will treat me, not as an employer, but as a friend, or at least an acquaintance. I don’t want you intimidating people around me unless I specifically ask for it. In other words, I don’t need the Secret Service routine. Understood?”

Both nodded assent with huge smiles on their faces. Sheila even had tears. I just didn’t understand, and truthfully, I still don’t.

What a circus! Linda, Tim, Lisa, Annie, Hal, TJ, mom, myself, Sheila, Pat, and to my great surprise, Simon piled into two cars and a Hummer and headed off for church.

For those of you unfamiliar with large congregations there are two constants. The first is if you are a Christian or religious, you will probably be richly blessed and entertained. The second is the congregation is large enough that it is easy to disappear in it. Even my circus barely made a ripple.

The music was rich and warming. I have always enjoyed Christmas music, and Grace Chapel was in fine form this Sunday before Christmas. The pastor spoke well, talking of the incredible miracle of God taking the form of the baby being born on Christmas morning. I felt blessed sitting there. Hal was on one side, Linda on the other. Everything was going well until they passed the collection plate. Hal pulled out his checkbook, and wrote out a check for $10,000.00. I looked at him like he was crazy. “Hal, what do you think you are doing?” I whispered.

With his oh so easy, oh so infuriating grin he said, “Just making a payment on the interest I owe.” With that, he smiled, folded the check, placed it in the plate and passed it on.

I resolved to have a long talk with him. I wasn’t sure of his motivation, and I definitely was concerned he wasn’t trying to “buy” something from God.

After church, we drove back to the Estate. Vikki had prepared a wonderful roast for the noon meal.

After lunch, and changing into something a little more casual, I asked my mom and Jean if they wanted to do any Christmas shopping. I was woefully aware that I had purchased nothing for anyone, and was hoping to correct that situation. They agreed, and along with Sheila, we set off for the mall in Burlington.

Jean screwed things up immediately. It was probably bound to happen and no one’s fault in particular when she said, “Kate, how long have you been a woman?”

My heart stopped, my eyes went wide, but not nearly as wide as Sheila’s. “What did she say?” Sheila blurted out.

Jean knew she had blown it. My mom just burst out laughing. “Jean,” she said, “how long have YOU been a woman?”

I couldn’t help it; I began to giggle at the absurdity of the situation. “Sheila, just ignore her, like most of my family she was dropped on her head at birth.” Turning to Jean, I said, “Well since I was born, what about you?”

“God, that came out so wrong,” Jean said, trying to cover her tracks, “What I meant was, how long have you been a “married” woman?”

“Weren’t you at the wedding?” Sheila asked, turning to me she said, “I thought your family was really close Kate.”

“Oh it is, Sheila, it is,” I said dissolving in another fit of giggles. “It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you all about it some time. Just pretend you didn’t hear Jean, I sometimes think she’s barely house trained, TJ had to marry her to keep her from being sent to the funny farm.”

Jean figured out that she should just go with the flow, as it were. “They’re coming to take me away ha ha, they’re coming to take me away ho ho, to the funny farm where life is gay,” at which point she started laughing uncontrollably. Sheila just looked at her weird, and pulled into the parking lot at the mall.

Once in the mall Mom and Jean went in one direction, Sheila and I in the other, agreeing to meet in an hour at the food court. First, there was the issue of Jean’s outing of me that I had to clear up. I stopped at a convenient bench and sat, motioning Sheila to sit beside me. “Sheila, I have some confidential things to tell you, can you keep a secret?”

“Kate, you know I can, it’s part of Cendar’s hiring policy and training.”

“How long have you worked for Cendar?” I asked.

“Six and a half years,” she answered.

“Okay then, did you notice I wasn’t around in September and October?”

“Actually yes, you have always been the public face of Cendar, I was wondering where you had been.”

“Sheila, you may not believe me, but if you are going to be my “best friend” you have a need to know. Kate died on September 11th in New York City. Hal stumbled across me in Las Vegas during the Comdex computer show. He thought I was Kate raised from the dead. I was born John Williams, I am a medically diagnosed transsexual. Hal and my wife Linda convinced me to join Cendar as Kate. Since then my life has spiraled out of control. Very few people know the actual truth. Jean assumed you must be one of them.”

“You know, I think you are pulling my leg. I have known you for years, and I don’t believe you. Why are you saying this?”

“Sheila, according to everyone who knows the truth, I look, sound, act, and think exactly like Kate. I promise you, what I’ve said is true, and you can check with Andy if you don’t believe me.”

“Kate, this is just too bizarre. I will ask Andy. But I still don’t believe it.”

I sighed, “Okay, have it your way. We still have some shopping to do.”

What do you buy the man who has, or can afford, everything? That was my biggest concern. I asked Sheila, and she suggested stationary. After thinking about it, I agreed and we went looking for a mall directory. Burlington mall had two stores I thought might have what I wanted. The first was the Paradise Pen Company, and the second was Papyrus. I wound up purchasing a black Mont Blanc fountain pen at the Pen Company, and a creamy white vellum notepad set at Papyrus.

Sheila and I checked in with Jean and Mom, and the four of us stopped for sundaes at Brigham’s. Mom and Jean both thought the pen and stationary were a perfect gift for Hal. I turned to my mom and told her I had tried to explain things to Sheila and asked her to tell Sheila what my birth name was. Without batting an eye, my mom torpedoed me. “Katherine Elayne Williams, her dad wanted Elizabeth Christine, but I got my way,” she said with a smile. Jean snorted ice cream down her windpipe, and Sheila just gave me an “I told you so” look.

After our break, Sheila and I set off through the packed mall. Lisa was easy to shop for, and I stopped at Kay Jewelers for a sweetheart necklace. Nothing too flashy, but certainly more than I could have afforded last Christmas. 1/4-carat total weight diamonds set in a heart shaped pattern on a 16” gold rope chain. I added a pair of 1/4-carat diamond stud earrings. Then, impulsively, I decided to get a matching set for my other “daughter” — Annie. Since I was looking at jewelry, I asked what was available in Aquamarine; my mom’s birthstone. I admit I was shaving corners and trying to get gifts for everyone on my list, and if jewelry served the purpose, Oh Well!

Mom got 5 x 8 mm aquamarine studs and a nice ring that matched. For Jean, whose birthday was in January, I found a cute necklace and earring set in Garnet.

Linda was always losing her watch, so I found a gorgeous watch by Raymond Weil for her. It was extremely durable, and I was sure she would have a hard time losing it. It was stainless steel and 18K gold with little diamonds around the face.

We were walking back in search of mom and Jean when I saw the perfect gift for my brother. We came across a kiosk in the center of the mall for a company called Vintage Vending out of Salem, New Hampshire. There was a perfectly restored 1950’s Coca-Cola machine. Now TJ is kind of a 1950’s kitsch nut. I knew he would fall in love with it immediately. Bright red, it dispensed bottles, and could handle the original 10 ounce Coke, and new 12 ounce bottles or cans; all sold for 10 cents. Sheila and I tracked down mom and Jean, and I dragged them back to the kiosk. Jean agreed TJ would love it, and so I ordered it shipped to his house in California, and put a picture of it in a Christmas card for Christmas day.

That left one family member to buy for; Tim. I asked the assembled brain trust for help, but nobody knew quite what to get him. It was getting late, and we headed out to the car to head home. Outside the mall proper was a Circuit City, and I suggested a quick look.

As we entered the store, I examined the sale flyer posted in the entrance. A smile crossed my lips as I saw the perfect gift for my techy son; a portable Sony DVD player. 10 minutes later, I had completed my family Christmas shopping. This had to be an all time record; all my Christmas shopping completed in just four hours.

On the drive home, I was the constant butt of my mother’s jokes. Mom kept a steady stream of prattle going, ostensibly conversing with Sheila about my childhood. “When she was a little girl this…; she was so precious that…; her dad and I used to wait up for her… On and on Mom went about my fictitious childhood while Jean and I sat in the backseat just shaking our heads, trying not to giggle aloud.

Back home we unloaded the loot, and placed it under the tree. Vikki had laid out a buffet of leftovers from lunch, and it appeared everyone had already eaten. I saw TJ still seated at the table, and I dragged Sheila over to see him. “TJ, would you PLEASE tell Sheila my real birth name?”

“Sure sis,” he said then turned to Sheila, “Dad wanted to name her after his mother but mom won out and they named her Katherine Elayne. I usually just called her Trouble.”

I was stunned. My mouth hung open slackly. TJ just smiled at me. Sheila glared at me. Just then, Hal and Linda walked in. “Hal, Linda, come on guys help me here please please please tell Sheila who I really am, the truth, not the cover story.”

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked. I nodded my head. “Sheila, she was born Katherine Elayne Williams; Honey, why did you want me to tell her that?”

“Babe,” Linda asked, “What’s going on? Everyone knows you were born Katherine Elayne Williams. Are you feeling okay?”

Dumbfounded, I looked from face to face. Each returned a curiously blank expression. Finally, Sheila began to laugh, followed by everyone else in the room. “Kate, Andy told me the truth yesterday,” she said, “we’ve all been playing a joke on you.”

Mom came over and hugged me, “You should have seen your face! It was all I could do to not spoil the joke.”

I began to chuckle. They really had put one over on me and I found I could still laugh at myself — but I did not want to. “Okay, you’ve all had your fun, I’m going upstairs,” I said with as much dignity as I could muster and flounced out of the room and upstairs.

I picked up the phone and called the kitchen. Anna was more than happy to fix me a plate, and 15 minutes later, I sat in the sitting room, eating my dinner, half laughing and half fuming at my family.

There was a knocking at the door. “Mom, can I come in?” Annie called from the doorway.

“Are you coming up to laugh at me too?” I grumbled.

Annie came into the room, came over and hugged me, giggling all the while. “Well, if you think about it, it was really funny.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep who I am straight in my own head?” I asked, smiling. “Since the rape, I’ve completely lost touch with being John, and Beth is a fading memory. For everyone to gang up on me like that was just plain mean.”

“Yeah, and mean people suck!” Annie said laughing, her humor deflating my annoyance.

“Am I really being that much of a wet blanket?” I asked.

“No, not really, but Dr. Saul thought you ought to get prodded a bit. This was all his idea. Oops! I don’t think I was supposed to mention that.”

“Oh ho! Well the good doctor and I will have something to talk over, that is for sure.”

“I came up to invite you to watch A Christmas Carol with us. It’s the George C. Scott version. Please come on out, everyone would enjoy you being there.”

I allowed myself to be talked into it, and soon, we were all seated in the theatre/TV room. This is actually my favorite version of the classic tale, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Afterward, I went up to bed, dutifully took the Ambien, and went to sleep.

------------------

Stevens Hall, Massachusetts, Monday, Christmas Eve, 2001

Have you ever felt like you were the central character in “It’s a Wonderful Life”? I woke up between my wife and my husband, and thought about the last two months. On the positive side, I knew that Linda and the kids were set for life. Regardless of anything else that happened, financially I knew they would be taken care of. It was hard, but I was deluged with the evidence that my life made a difference in the lives of others. Like the Jimmy Stewart character, the lives of those around me would be poorer if I took my life. The richness that I, (and I must say I still do not REALLY believe it), brought to the people around me was something unfathomable. I did not understand it. I do not understand it.

It just is.

Still, I wondered, how was I going to resolve this life? Originally, I had agreed to be Kate for 6 months. I could not remember the last time I thought of anything as John. He was a fading memory, one of the two ghosts haunting my life. John was like the memories shown by the Ghost of Christmas Past, unreachable, untouchable, and able only to affect the emotions of my life. Kate was like the Ghost of Christmas Present, showing me the effect I had on others, and the reality of the Love others had for me.

Moreover, how was I going to work out my increasingly conflicted sexual orientation? Since the cruise, I'd had no sexual feelings whatsoever. Neither Linda, nor Hal excited me in the least. I could not decide which, if either, I would have as a lover. I did know this: if it were to be Hal, it would only be after I had completed transition from John to Kate. I could not imagine allowing anyone to touch me anally ever again.

Who was I, Kate or John? Was this to be only six months after all? Could I go back to being John?

My heart said no. I loved being a woman. I loved being a rich woman. I adored making those around me feel special — though I still could not comprehend how I was capable of doing that.

Then what was left?

Kate? Or the Ghost of Christmas Future — death. And, oh by the way, what about my faith?

Death seemed so much simpler. I’d tried it and I was not sure how I felt about it this morning. I had failed in the attempt. I did know that the pain to others was more than I could bear. No, death was not an option.

Therefore, it comes down to a sacrifice. It would either be John and Christmas Past, or Kate and Christmas Present who would die that others might be whole. In reality John was already gone, unreachable, and untouchable.

I began to cry. I mourned my loss. Linda heard me and woke, pulling me into her embrace. “What’s wrong?” she whispered.

“I think I’m dead,” I replied.

“Silly, nope, you’re in my arms and safe.”

“No, I mean me, John; I don’t think he’s ever coming back. He is like the Ghost of Christmas Past. Gone except in memory; Kate is Christmas Present,” I blubbered louder, rousing Hal from his sleep.

Hal rolled over, and pulled the two of us to him. Again, I was in the middle; surrounded by love.

“What’s the problem?” he mumbled.

“I think Kate’s made a decision,” Linda said a little wistfully. “I think John’s gone for good, and all that’s left is Kate.

I nodded in agreement.

Hal looked on, sensing a change, but not totally certain as to what it was, or what to do about it; he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

“Well anyway little Miss Christmas Ghosts, how about we get up and dressed?” she asked, pulling the covers back.

“Oh Babe, it’s way too cold for that,” I complained.

Linda looked at the clock, “It’s 8:30, Sleepy Bones, time for you to be up and about Oh Mistress of the Manor! You have responsibilities, people to greet, peasants to flog, jocularity to plan!”

“Linda, please Honey, ease up. I am fragile enough right now. I still do not know what the future holds, but I need you. Please, back off a bit. I love you. You are my first and only real love. Don’t doubt that. I just don’t know how to deal with these things. The Dickens’ metaphor barely stretches to cover my life. If the choice were you or Hal, you would win, no contest. But, if the choice were to be John or Kate, Kate would win. I’m so confused. How can I be Kate and still be with you?” I began to cry again. Damn, I don’t know how much is my emotions, how much the rape, or how much the hormones.

“Come on Honey. Let’s go get a shower.”

Linda literally dragged me out of bed. In the shower, she did everything possible to excite or arouse me. “Babe, please, there is nothing that excites me. I may never have sex again,” and then I began sobbing.

“What, is there something wrong with me?” she asked.

“No, never you;” I slumped down against the floor. “It’s me. I’ve lost all sexual desire. I don’t want Hal, but I don’t want anything else, either. That bastard took away any sex life I might have had.”

“Oh my God, I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” Linda asked.

“No Hon, it’s not you. If anyone, I’m the one to blame. You are just trying to keep our life alive. It’s just, I don’t think I have a sex life.” I said, my head bowed in shame.

“What can I do?” Linda asked.

“Honey, can you take me home?” I asked.

“Where is home?” she replied.

And with that, she cut through 90 percent of my baggage. I didn’t know where home was. I just simply crouched in the shower, crying on Christmas Eve. I had nowhere to go, I had no home. I didn’t know who I was.

Linda looked down upon me. After a few minutes, she knelt down beside me. Linda shampooed my hair, and scrubbed me down with a loofa. Lifting me to my feet, she rinsed me off, wrapped me in a towel, and pulled a robe on me.

She dried and brushed out my hair, and moved me into the lounge of my bedroom. After dressing herself, she came and like a mother with a recalcitrant child dressed me. “This is one hell of a Christmas eve, isn’t it,” I said dejectedly to Linda.

”Yes, it is. And it’s going to be a great Christmas day!”

Her response was totally unexpected. I looked at her and asked, “Haven’t you heard me?”

Linda sighed, and pointed to the couch next to her. “Yes, I heard you. I don’t have an answer. You asked where home is? Well home is the place where you are with the ones who love you. Once upon a time, that was in Corona, California. Today? It is here at Stevens Hall. All I know is that wherever you and I are, THAT’s home. Hal complicates it. I hate the thought of sharing you, but it seems that I’ve created a monster. When this all started all I could see was the money, and what we could do for the kids. Whether I wanted it or not, the consequences are that Hal is now part of our lives. Where he is, and we are, that’s also home.”

“Err…, I don’t understand,” I said.

“Hon, neither do I. You’ve gone too far, and that’s mostly my fault. I doubt you can ever go back to being just John again. I also doubt you’re ready to be exclusively Kate. That leaves you in the same position you have been in most of your life. You are in between. You are mostly woman. You are not a man. You do not want your husband sexually. However, neither do you want a lesbian relationship with me. You’re a “tween” as in between a rock and a hard place. About the only thing I’m certain of is that I love you; and well, Hal loves you. And that doesn’t even include your three kids, your brother, your mother, or your staff who also love you. For having a head so screwed up you are incredibly well liked and loved.”

“I suppose,” I sighed.

“Come on, let’s go downstairs. Your mom asked Vikki to fix Mimosa and a ham buffet for brunch.”

Downstairs it was kind of rowdy. The Mooney’s children along with Tim and Lisa were playing hide and go seek, with TJ refereeing. Christmas music was playing in the background, and Jean was playing a cutthroat game of hearts with Mom, Simon, and Janie. Hal was grinning like a demented troll. It was clear he loved the bustle around the house.

Linda and I loaded plates and sat in the Atrium looking out on the crisp, white, snow covered countryside. Hal joined us, and asked what our plans were for the day. He had that damned twinkle in his eye, and I said, “Hal, why don’t you just tell us what you have up your sleeve.”

“Why whatever do you mean?” he replied.

“Because, you sneaky bastard, the twinkle in your eye has given you away. I can always tell when you are up to something.”

Hal laughed. “Okay, I’ll confess. If it meets with your approval, I thought we could attend The Nutcracker this afternoon. I also want to go by Children’s Hospital. I’ve ordered a bunch of teddy bears and stuffed animals. I want to deliver some of them to the children myself. I also have a surprise that I hope will meet with your approval. So, do you feel like being one of Santa’s helpers this afternoon?”

I looked at Linda, and she looked at me. “Well,” I asked of her, “Do we humor the madman or do we run away as fast as we can?”

“Well, since he confessed without torture I suppose something could be worked out. Hey Lisa! Come here, Honey.”

“Yes mom?” Lisa said looking from Linda to me.

“Do you want to see The Nutcracker this afternoon?” I asked.

“We can’t, the tickets have been sold out for weeks; I called and asked.”

Hal grinned, “Well, I always reserved a large block of tickets. Usually I give them out to employees, this year; I’ve kept 24 tickets for today’s performance. Want to go?”

Lisa shrieked, then ran to tell the Mooney’s while Hal beamed at the additional chaos he had created. Turning to Linda and I he said, “We need to leave by 11:00. The performance is noon at The Colonial.”

The rest of the morning passed in a swirl of activity. Linda and I went back upstairs and dressed a bit more formally. I even consented to makeup, and by the time Linda and I were done I looked almost presentable. We were back downstairs at 10:45. Rather than hassling with traffic, Hal had reserved a bus, and my extended family, along with the Mooney’s, Janie and Hiram (they had definitely become a couple) and with Sheila and Pat all boarded the bus for the trip into downtown Boston.

-----------------------------
United States District Court, Southern District of Florida, Miami, Florida

John Maxwell faced the Federal Judge Magistrate as the clerk read the charges. The Judge Magistrate turned to John Maxwell.

“Mr. Maxwell, I see you are not represented by counsel. I am reluctant to proceed at this time. Do you have an attorney?”

“No, your Honor. Nor does this court have any jurisdiction over me. Any alleged crimes occurred outside of the United States.”

“Mr. Maxwell, whether you chose to accept it or not. This court has jurisdiction over piracy committed in International waters under International agreements that stretch back to the founding of the Republic. You have been charged with piracy. You have further been charged with the special condition of rape during the act of piracy. Your life may be forfeit if you are convicted for this crime. Therefore, you need an attorney. I will ask you again. Do you need this court to appoint an attorney for you?”

John Maxwell looked stunned. His entire prepared defense was based on the jurisdiction of the court. “Yes, your honor, I suppose I do need an attorney.”

“Very well, the clerk of the court will contact you with the name of an attorney before the end of the week. In as much as you have been charged with a Capital crime, this court has no option but to hold you without bail until a hearing can be scheduled with your new attorney. Madam Clerk, please schedule said hearing within thirty days.”

The words of Sarah Matthews ran through his head. He was going to prison, or he was going to die. At his age, he could not prevent Sarah’s prophecy from coming true; he would be raped. It was unthinkable. It was intolerable. It was inevitable.

-----------------------------

Christmas Eve, Boston Massachusetts, 1145 Hours

For those of you who have never experienced it, the traffic in Boston is horrendous. It makes Tijuana drivers seem sedate. I for one was glad we weren’t driving. The Boston Ballet’s version of The Nutcracker was magnificent. Lisa and the other kids were enthralled.

Afterwards, Hal, Linda, Annie and I (with Pat and Sheila of course) piled into one of the Hummers and drove 3 miles south to Boston’s Children’s Hospital while the Bus took all the rest back to the estate. Dr. Tom and Meri met us there and helped coordinate delivering teddy bears to all the children stuck in the hospital over the holiday. Dr. Tom introduced us to the director, Dr. Samuel Wise; a smiling genial gnome of a man.

Somewhere they had come up with silly red Santa hats. Hal was having the time of his life. He loves children and making them smile. We would walk into a room with one or two children, Hal would holler Ho, Ho, Ho! and give them their toys. The kids would invariably smile, and Hal would grin all the way to the next room. Annie told me this was an annual event for Hal, and that each of the nine Boston Children’s Hospital campuses would receive a visit from Hal or someone else from Cendar.

At 4:30 Governor Jane Wells showed up. The press naturally followed her. Coincidentally (not!) we arrived at the front of the hospital at the same time she did. “Hal, what’s going on,” I asked? Knowing Hal, it could be anything. Hal gave me his irritating grin, and Hal escorted Annie and me to where Jane and Dr. Wise were standing. There in the blinding lights of the TV cameras, Governor Wells made an announcement.

“It is my very great privilege to announce today a cooperative agreement between the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Children’s Hospital, and Cendar Corporation. With major funding from Cendar, Children’s Hospital will be building a new burn treatment unit. The name of the facility will be the Anderson Stevens Burn Institute in memory of Tracy and Becky Stevens and Gwen Anderson. On hand this evening is Dr. Samuel Wise, director of Children’s Hospital, and Hal and Kate Stevens, and Annie Anderson. Mr. Stevens will be donating $5 million to begin building.”

With that, an assistant unveiled a portrait. It was nearly identical to the one of my twin and her babies hanging in Stevens Hall. It had one addition. A younger Annie was standing beside her mother. The title on the frame took my breath away. “Love Never Ends.”

Annie looked at me, I looked at her, and we both turned to Hal and Jane. It was sweet, it was tender, and it hurt like hell. Annie and I both began leaking tears. Jane came over and hugged Annie, then pulled me into her embrace.

“It’s okay Kate, don’t blame Hal, this has been in the works for months,” she whispered in my ear, “Would it be okay if I stopped by sometime tomorrow to talk?”

I nodded, and accepted a tissue from Meri. A few more words were exchanged, then Linda, Hal, Sheila, Annie and I headed back to Stevens Hall.

The sun had set. The moon was about two thirds full casting a white pall on the snow covered ground. I sat in the back of the Hummer with Annie snuggled between Linda and me. Annie had gone through the best part of a box of tissue talking about the twins and her mom. Linda and I just listened and held her close.

We pulled into the estate just before 7:00 pm. The yellow glow of the house lights warmed the front porch. We went upstairs to find a fire raging in the fireplace of the family room. Vikki was there, roasting chestnuts and popping corn, (I did not know anyone really roasted chestnuts). The air was filled with the fragrances of mulled cider, the burning logs, the popcorn, even the unfamiliar chestnuts and everyone was enjoying themselves.

Linda and I went and changed out of our gowns, and contrary to expectations, I pulled on dark blues sweats. Okay, they did have the cutest snowflakes on them, but they were oh so comfy. We rejoined the mingled families; Hal joined us a few minutes later.

Turning to the room, Hal said, “Kate, I just got off the phone with Erik Moore. John Maxwell has been formally charged and will be held without bail. Merry Christmas!”

Christmas Eve or not, I was cheered by the knowledge.

Hiram and Janie were seated on a love seat in the corner, and at a commercial break he rose and asked for everyone’s attention. “Janie and I would also like to make an announcement,” he said. “I’ve asked her to marry me, and she has accepted. We would really like to thank Kate for bringing us together.” Everyone clapped for the happy couple as I blushed furiously. Now I even seemed to have inherited Kate’s reputation as a successful matchmaker.

Janie came over and sat with me. “Kate, thank you. I just want to say; if there is anything I can do please ask. I owe so much to you.”

“You don’t owe me Janie, you are, by all accounts living up to everything I’d hoped. I’m just glad things are working out so well for you,” I said with a smile. “Is that a new ring I see?” I asked.

Janie smiled, and showed me her solitaire engagement ring. It was beautiful and I told her so. She hugged me and walked back to Hiram.

It was getting late. I said goodnight to everyone, took my Ambien, and went to bed.

--------------------

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Tuesday, Christmas Day, 2001

It could not have been much after six in the morning. I had just opened my eyes to the remarkable realization that I had not suffered from nightmares. I marveled at the thought, and mentally searched my body to see how I was feeling. A second marvel, no pain, well, not much anyway. I was still lying there when the kids arrived.

As was tradition, on Christmas morning the kids had permission to wake us as soon as they were up. They had shared that tradition with Annie. With a loud knocking on the bedroom door, Tim, Lisa, and Annie burst into the room.

“Merry Christmas!” they shouted, jumping on the bed. Hal was priceless. The kids had never seen him in bed, but took it in stride; Hal on the other hand blushed crimson red at having been caught in bed with their mothers.

Lisa poured coffee and tea, Tim opened the curtains to the bright morning light. Annie pulled out robes from the closet.

From the sounds down the hall, it appeared that Tim and Lisa had spread the word to the Mooney children, and sounds of children and parents stirring resounded throughout the residence floor.

Linda and I pulled on robes, and slippers. Hal, trying to regain his dignity, fled to the bathroom in his PJ’s; only to emerge a few minutes later wearing a sweat suit. We walked down to the family room where someone had already lit a fire. The Tree was in its glory, the lights twinkling, Christmas stockings had been hung across the mantel, and it appeared no one had been left out. Vikki was just finishing setting a breakfast buffet up on one side of the room, and everyone was straggling into the room. We were there, the Mooney’s, Janie and Hiram, Andy and his wife Hermione, and even Simon.

When everyone had arrived, Hal distributed the gifts. Soon everyone had a pile, which they began to open. To go into the details would be boring. Everyone was pleased with that which they received. For myself, I will mention only two presents.

The first was a long thin package. When I opened it, there was a sword, a simple cross-handled sword from the Chesapeake Knife Company. There was no name of the giver. I looked around the room and found Simon staring intently. When our eyes met, he bowed. I felt strangely warmed and honored. However, I had arrived at this place, I knew, beyond doubt that I had a true knight sworn to my service. I walked over to Simon, curtseyed deeply and said to him, “Thank you fair knight, I shall treasure it, and you, always.”

Those around us were unaware of what had happened; the sword was an oath of fealty. Simon, speaking only to me, through the sword, on the honor of his dead sister, promised to obey and defend me to the death. Simon knew, my formal acceptance bound the two of us in a Quixotic relationship. I was Dulcinea to his Don Quixote. He was the True Knight, and I would be his True Liege Lady in a world where such things seemingly no longer existed. I reached out, he took my hand and kissed it and I pulled him to his feet. As I pulled him into a hug I whispered, “Thank you Simon; Jillian would be proud.”

Simon pulled away, wiping at his eyes. With a smile, he bowed, “Merry Christmas, my Lady.”

The second was a simple Christmas card with a nativity scene on the cover. Inside was a simple note. “Katherine, I love you more than you or the world will ever know. Through whatever agency of heaven or earth, you are with me once again. I know how difficult it is for you. Everything I have, including my heart, is yours. It’s trite, it is sappy, but they say if you really love someone, you must be willing to let go. If it’s real it’ll come back to you. You have brought life back into my world, and the world of Cendar. Nevertheless, I give you your freedom. I want you in my life, but, I love you and will let you go, if that is your choice. If you must go back to being John, know that I will honor that choice. Love, Hal.

To be continued.

.

Kate Searches for a way and discovers more about herself than she wants to know!

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Tuesday, Christmas Day, 2001

It was a simple little greeting card; on one side a picture of the nativity, on the other a blank note page containing Hal’s emancipation proclamation. I looked up from the Christmas card to Hal. He sat in the middle of the floor, continuing to hand out packages. He looked at me and smiled. “I love you,” he mouthed to me across the room.

It was perhaps the most selfless gift I have ever received. I leaned over to Linda and showed her the card. Linda just smiled, “I know, Love. Hal and I talked last night. We both love you and want only what’s best for you. So, now the choice is yours. Hal and I will do anything to support you in it.”

I stood, and walked across the room, wading through the carnage of wrapping paper and gift boxes. I stopped in the middle of the room and pulled Hal to his feet. “I love you too,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, beginning to weep softly. “Thank you sweetheart,” I whispered as I pulled him into a hug. The hug turned into a kiss, me blubbering all over his Christmas Morning jammies. Hal, being no dummy, took the hint and returned my kiss. For the first time since the rape, I felt myself responding to a kiss. It was long, deep, and terribly gentle, utterly romantic. Afterwards, I smiled at him, “Thank you for your lovely gift. Merry Christmas.” I pulled away, smiled at the dazed look on Hal’s face and walked back across the room.

I sat back down on the couch next to Linda; I wrapped my arms around her neck, and kissed her. Time seemed to stop, my heart raced, and I felt my toes curl. Linda pulled back first, and this time I was the one with the dazed look. Smiling, she said, “Merry Christmas to you, too!”

Lisa and Annie were pleased with their jewelry. The identical necklaces reinforced their bond as sisters. Both were very excited, and I was glad for their joy.

Things seemed to be winding down, and I sat surrounded by family and friends. ‘So,’ I thought to myself, ‘what in the Hell am I going to do with my newfound freedom?’
The kids “cleaned” up by tossing all the wrapping paper into the fire. Hey, ya’ know, they’re from Southern California, and so, by definition, pyromaniacs whenever they get the chance to do so safely. The reason’s simple. In Southern California, you just don’t get the opportunity to burn things up. So, when the chance arises, you take advantage of it. In the case of Tim, he designated himself the “Burnmiester” and chortled at the sight of the gaily-colored wrapping paper burning in different colors as the chemistry of the various inks colored the flames. Lisa, and the Mooney children would feed him the paper, he’d crunch it and toss it into the fire. Soon, the room was “clean” of wrapping paper, and Annie ran the vacuum across the floor despite Vikki’s protests.

I needed to find a place to be alone. I needed to think. The impact of Hal’s and Simon’s gifts overwhelmed me, and I had to find a place where I could mull over what had happened.

The lounge area was out — too many people and too many packages being opened with an enthusiasm that threatened to overwhelm my suddenly precarious emotional condition. I wasn’t yet able to face getting ready for the day, so the bedroom was out. I began to wander the house and found myself inexorably drawn to the gallery.

Like an old friend, the portrait of my twin and her babies called to me irresistibly. As I sat on the bench opposite the portrait, I felt a palpable presence. Looking into Kate’s eyes was like looking into my own soul. For the first time I caught a glimpse of what made Kate — and me — special. It was the absolute and certain knowledge that Kate, regardless of position in life, would always care for others.

Simon, with his Quixotic gesture, saw past my façade. The very “nobility” Cervantes saw in Dulcinea — the kitchen girl who could be had for the price of a cheap meal — Simon saw in Kate, and by extension, in me.

Kate was the beating heart of Cendar for that very reason. No one was beneath her helping hand. With Kate, chivalry lived. She defended and befriended all who came in contact with her. This was very much the way I had had always lived. Even my parents had joked about it, teasing, and calling me “Dudley Doright.” While the world was painted in gray, there were still absolutes. Some things were right, and some were wrong. Period!

I discovered a profound truth that morning. There was something special in me. The only question was; ‘How do I use who I am?’

I looked back at the portrait, and this time Kate seemed to be smiling just for me, and just at me. With no one to see, I stood and curtsied deeply to the portrait, and, though I know it was the imagination of an overstressed mind, it seemed to me that Kate smiled and bowed her head in return. “Rise, my Lady,” I heard with an inner voice. That shook me; I'm not used to hearing voices, yet Kate was very near and real to me.

I would be the Lady, Dulcinea, and with Simon, the personification of justice. In Feudal times matters of justice, high and low, were the duty of the nobility. Today there was no “nobility” and justice was something the courts often failed to provide. Simon didn't know it, but he and I, with the resources of Cendar would speak for those who could not speak for themselves; especially the women, the children, and yes, even the men who had been and still were being victimized. Our success may be measured quietly in single victories, but it was a start. Words could only be a beginning; action always spoke louder than words.

John Maxwell would be the first. He would not be the last.

With a decidedly lighter heart, I went to my bedroom and got dressed for the day. The beginnings of an idea germinated in my mind. I had read an article or two about feudal loyalties. Satisfied, I went looking for Tim. I wanted to walk and explore the estate a little bit — and think through what I was about to do.

I finally found him in the family room. “Hey kiddo, how about a tour? I hear you’ve been all over the place.”

Tim looked up from his portable DVD player, “Sure, Mom,” he said, taking me totally by surprise. “Just let me get changed.”

Downstairs, I found a long blue stadium coat, and pulled that on, along with gloves and a scarf just as Tim came bounding down the stairs. “You ready?” I asked.

“Sure, what would you like to see?”

We walked out the front door, “Everything! All I’ve seen so far is the house, the inside of the garage and the stables.”

“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” Tim asked incredulously.

“Nope,” I chuckled. “I haven’t had the time.” Tim led me along the paved road that wound through the estate. Though it was winter, I could see a lovely formal garden next to the house.

“Well,” he said, “That’s where Mr. Jeeves lives,” he said, pointing through the trees. “They said it used to be a carriage house, whatever that is. Now, it’s Mr. Jeeves home and the offices for the security guys. Behind his house are a bunch of satellite dishes. Jerry said that Hal can talk to anyone who works for Cendar using the satellites. He said it was almost like talking face to face. They use it for teleconferencing, but Jerry said they can get any television program in the world on the dishes.”

“A couple of days ago there was a family of deer over there. Jerry helped me sneak up on them. Did you know that if you move slow, and approach with the wind in your face they won’t notice you if you’re quiet? Jerry said that’s because deer rely on their sense of smell, and their vision is really crappy. They really only see motion. It was really cool to see, we got within about 10 yards. I asked if anyone ever hunted them, and Jerry told me Uncle Hal won’t allow it.”

“What do they do during the winter?” I asked.

“Jose, the horse guy, leaves hay and grain out for them. That’s one of the reasons I was able to get so close. The deer are used to people and really aren’t scared of anyone.

Tim led me through the gardens, and showed me the pool area. It was grey, and mostly covered with snow. The pool was huge, and had obviously been drained for the winter. Next to it was an attached spa that looked like it could hold a dozen people. On the other side of the pool were tennis and basketball courts. And, on the other side of that was a pond that looked to be big enough to water ski on.

“There’s a sauna in the pool house,” he went on. “Jerry said that sometimes when they use the sauna, first they chip a hole in the ice of the pond, then get really, really hot in the sauna and then jump in the pond. He said it was a custom like from Finland or something. Personally, I think he’s nuts.”

I laughed and agreed with him. “So, you like Jerry?”

“Yeah, all the people here have been super nice to Lisa and me. With you and mom,” Tim did a little double take and shook his head then continued, “being gone, and then you being hurt, Lisa and I have had the place pretty much to ourselves. Uncle Hal told the security guys to keep an eye on me and Lisa. She’s been going crazy with the horses, and I’ve learned a bunch about self-defense and shooting from Jerry and the other guys.”

“Someone told me you were getting to be a pretty good shot.”

“Well, I’m trying. Though Uncle Hal pretty well waxes me when he and I shoot, I am getting better.”

“Really, Hal shoots better than you?” I smiled at the thought. “Maybe you can show me the range later. We might even have a little contest,” I suggested sweetly.

He laughed. “Oh no you don’t!” he said. “You can’t pretend you don’t know how to shoot. I know you used to be a cop, and Uncle Hal has been practicing, because he says you beat the bejeebers out of him.”

“Curses, foiled again!” I laughed along with Tim.

By this time, we were down to the edge of the pond. Tim told me that Jerry was saying after another really hard freeze they’d be able to skate on the pond, but it wasn’t safe yet. I was glad to see he was paying attention.

Tim led me away from the house, and away from the stables. Forty yards or so along the edge of the pond we came across a small bridge that crossed to a tiny little island. On the island was a covered gazebo. Tim seemed excited about the island so we walked across the bridge. Tim brushed off a seat for me. “Watch this,” he said, and opened a little control panel. After pushing a couple of buttons, the gazebo began to warm up.

“This is one of my favorite places. You can sit out here, stay warm, and watch the animals.” Tim pointed to the bank of the pond just past the bridge. “There’s a fox that has a den in the woods close to the bridge, and if you look into the trees you can usually see deer. Over there, by the road, I’ve seen raccoons. Don't laugh, but I never knew so many animals were around in the winter. I guess I thought they all hibernated or something.”

This was a side of my son I’d not seen before. Tim was your typical teenage geek. Computers and video games were about all he had time for. To see Tim so excited about nature and animals was amazing to me. We sat there for maybe half an hour; Tim was my tour guide, excitedly pointing out an astonishing number of animals. I sat back and smiled at the transformation of my nerdy son. Finally, he kind of ran out of steam, and after shutting down the heater, led me off towards the stables.

As we passed a small dock, Tim said Jerry told him that during the spring and summer they had a small boat tied up which they used for fishing. “Jerry said trout and small mouth bass are stocked every year. I guess Uncle Hal likes to fish.”

Tim opened a gate in the fence of the stable area for me, and I was startled by what I saw. I didn’t remember seeing any of this when Hal showed me around so long ago. On the far side of the garage the quaint New England Estate gave way to an ultra-modern utility area. I could see three large satellite dishes; a garage and a vehicle support area. The parking lot had been striped for a heliport. A large wind sock was attached to a radio tower. The area was well screened by trees. Like so much of Cendar and Hal, there was far more to the estate than met the eye.

I told Tim I was getting tired, and asked if he minded if we wrapped things up.

Tim was agreeable, and began to turn back towards the house. Instead, I led him into the barn, and watched his eyes bug out as I opened the hidden door leading down to the tunnel system. I loosened my coat, and removed my scarf as we walked in the pleasantly warm and comfortable tunnel. At the end of the first segment of the tunnel we turned left. I pointed out to Tim that the tunnel running to the right most likely came up in the carriage house. In retrospect, that made good sense. The security officers could travel conveniently even in the worst weather — all thanks to Hal’s paranoia.

Tim and I were back in the main house a little before noon. Tim went off to play with his gadgets and I went off to find Linda. Instead, I ran into my mom. “Honey, I want to talk to you,” she said.

She took me by the arm and led me to my bedroom. “Are you pushing yourself too hard?” she asked, leaning forward to press her lips against my forehead — obviously checking for fever.

“No, why?”

“Well, it seems that you’ve missed an IMPORTANT holiday tradition, and I wanted to know if you were okay.” Mom let out a great sigh.

Now I know that I was not running on all cylinders, but could not for the life of me figure out what in the world she was talking about.

“Does Linda know about this?” I asked, stalling for time.

“She most certainly does, and I must confess she’s rather miffed over it all.”

“What about the kids?” I asked.

“Lisa’s been waiting all morning, Tim's just a boy.”

“Mom, I confess, what is it I’ve forgotten?”

“Oh my very dear; your mind is slipping. Or, perhaps I’ve failed you. Well, if I put an apron on you would that give you a hint? What if I reminded you that YOU are the hostess and mistress of the house?”

“Oh My Gosh, I forgot. The cookies!”

“Momma’s GOOOOOD baby! Shall we go see if Vikki will let us in the kitchen?

“What about recipes?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“Well, I’m sure we can come up with something. Anyway, get your butt in gear, girl. You want some done before Jane comes over, don’t you?”

“Argh, yeah I suppose so. It’s just that you or Linda have always been in charge.”

“Get girl! It’s your house, you are in charge.”

a piece of the solution fell into place.

Mom gathered Lisa, Lisa called Annie, Annie called the Mooneys and soon there was a gaggle of women in the kitchen.

“Vikki, can we make some cookies? It’s a family tradition for Christmas Day.”

Vikki, with a smile on her face asked, “Can I help and lick a bowl?” Soon, Vikki was laying out the ingredients. I held out for peanut butter blossom cookies. Linda and Lisa organized cut-out sugar cookies. Mom grabbed Tim and began to make chocolate marshmallow fudge.

Rachel Mooney and her two daughters began with Chewy Caramel Bars, and graduated to thick molasses cookies.

Vikki was in her glory. Yes, “I” was in charge - at her suffrage. She bounced from one group to another. When the cookies were ready to go in the ovens, she made sure the ovens were correctly preheated. She was like a conductor, directing a laughing, talkative group of women in the creation of holiday treats.

Tim snuck out of the room when no one was looking, taking a plate of fudge with him. All the while the rest of the kitchen staff was preparing the Christmas Holiday Dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed the time of fellowship with those around me. The love and warmth surrounding me was simple, fun and real. I know women who hate being in the kitchen, claim it's somehow demeaning. I don't understand it, I love making a dish and having it enjoyed.

Hal stuck his head in and I rewarded him with a large plate of cookies, firmly instructing him to share with the other guys in the house.

That’s how Jane found me. Flour in my hair and on my face, sticking Hershey’s kisses in the cookies hot and fresh from the oven. “Hey, get over here and help me before they get too cold,” I called to her.

With a grin, Jane lay down her packages washed her hands and accepted an apron from Vikki. “Chuck and the babies are upstairs, so what do I do?” she asked.

“Oh my Gosh, haven’t you ever made peanut blossom cookies before?” I asked.

“Kate, I’m absolutely NOT domestic,” Jane replied. “I became Governor so I would have a competent cook. I have trouble just boiling water.”

I looked at her aghast. “Really?” Gads! My mom made sure I could cook about the same time I learned to read.

“It was pure selfishness on my part,” Mom replied. “If she could cook, then I didn’t have to! Both Kate and her brother learned to cook very early on. By junior high, they were expected to cook at least one night a week.”

“Hey, that’s against the child labor laws!” I complained. “Jane, can you have this mean person arrested?” I pouted.

“Uh, I hate to get involved in family squabbles,” she replied. “Did the offense take place in the Commonwealth?”

“No!” Mom crowed. “It was in California and simply YEARS ago, so the statute of limitations has run out, too”

Jane turned to me, gave a deep theatrical sigh and said, “Sorry, there seems to be nothing I can do.” Then she giggled, spoiling the effect.

I tried to look suitably offended, but the laughter was infectious.

An hour or so later, the cookies were done, and Jane and I went to my office.

“Okay, what’s on your mind?” I asked, dropping gratefully into my chair.

“Well, I just wanted to drop off your Christmas present and see if you are still willing to help with the Girl Scouts.”

“Of course I am.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” and Jane handed me a package. “Go on, open it.”

I removed the wrapping and inside found a Girl Scout adult uniform, walking shorts, slacks, a blouse, and a jacket. Jane had even attached the appropriate tabs and insignia.

“Okay, I guess you’ve roped me in on this one.” I laughed easily, “Now, can you tell me why you really wanted to talk to me on Christmas Day?”

Jane sat up straight in the chair. There was a definite change in the climate of the room. She looked directly in my eyes and asked, “What are you going to do?”

“Jane, what are you talking about?”

“Kate, I know Hal very well. I knew Kate as well, and from that, I think I know you. There is no way Hal is going to sit back and allow your attacker to go unpunished. The only question in my mind is, ‘will he, or you, stop there?’”

“Jane, where are you going with this?”

“I want to help. I realized that yesterday at the hospital. What happened to you happens to way too many women; and what angers me to the depths of my soul is that the criminal all too often goes unpunished. It's even worse among transgendered women. Rita Hester's case makes it clear that murder isn't murder when the victim is transsexual — even here in Massachusetts.”

“Someone has to do something, and Cendar has the resources to make something happen.”

“Jane, what you’re suggesting may be against the law, and I’m not sure, but if I reply to your statements it might be construed as criminal conspiracy.”

“Kate, what I’m talking about is a higher law. The courts are broken. They know very little about, and care even less about right and wrong. Justice can seldom be counted on. All they care about is “law” and “procedure,” not justice. All too often whoever has the most money wins. And what’s worse, in sexual assault cases the defendant’s attorney treats the victim in ways that compound the hurt and damage from the assault. And in the end, the slime that committed the crime often walks away, or if convicted, frequently gets little more than a slap on the wrist.”

Jane was breathing heavily. It was clear she was angry, and getting angrier as she continued.

“What are you suggesting Hal and I do?”

“I don’t know. I only know that if anyone can do something, it’s you two. And, you have the motivation. When you decide what you’re going to do, let me know how I can help. I promise you; anything in my power is yours. But you have GOT to do SOMETHING!” She practically screeched, then the tears began leaking from her eyes and down her blouse as she stared me in the eye.

Another piece dropped into place. Jane was effectively the Lord Temporal of Massachusetts. She must be told.

Jane continued sobbing her frustration. What else could I do? I wrapped her in my arms and held on to her as she wept. It was a time of introspection for me. As Jane cried, I thought of my early morning commitment to my twin.

My resolve hardened. I would do something. I just hoped Linda and Hal would agree. I knew Simon would love the idea. As I began thinking of how to avenge the unmourned, I began making little comforting sounds to Jane. She pulled away and from the look she gave me, it was clear she knew her words had not gone unheard. I’d made a decision.

“Let’s start with this,” I said. “I think Hal and I can get a couple of special shelters built and staffed for victims of domestic violence. Before I got involved in this, I heard of a marvelous place in San Diego called Becky’s House. The exact location was kept secret, but it provided a place for women to start over. It was an apartment complex, each unit fully furnished. When they were ready to leave, all the furniture went with them. It truly was a new start.”

“And what about the other?” she asked.

“Jane, I don’t know; I’m thinking. If I need your help, I'll ask.”

Jane looked at me, nodded her head in understanding and we put the issue aside.

Jane and I left the office, and I noticed it was almost 2:00, time for Christmas dinner. I insisted Jane and Chuck stay; then went to the kitchen to see how things were coming. Vikki was like a General, marshaling her troops. I butted in and scandalized her by insisting that all the kitchen staff was part of the family. They would join us at dinner. While she was sputtering, I turned to her assistant Teresa, and asked if she would let me help her set the table.

I told them I was tired of being the impotent lady of the manor, and decided that for once, THEY would be treated the same as everyone else in this mad house I now called home.

So, I hustled Teresa out of the kitchen, and we began to set the table. I was grateful the dining hall table was so big. It accommodated the 34 guests, and Teresa and I had barely finished when the rest of the staff began laying out the feast. I called Tim upstairs, and had him round everyone up. I went to Hal, and told him of my conversation with the governor. He approved the idea of the shelters immediately; and cautiously agreed to a program of covert action.

We walked arm in arm to the dining room and took our places. Hal was at the head, and I was at the foot of the table. As the remaining guests took their places, Hal stood to make an announcement. “There is a God. Tonight I know that. I have only to look at Kate to have a certainty no one can shake. Tonight we celebrate the birth of the Christ child.

It seems appropriate to me to make a little announcement. Tomorrow, I will be instructing the legal staff to begin work on a shelter facility for victims of domestic violence. We will look for partners, but we will build a safe haven. Because of her suggestions to Kate today, we’ve decided to name it Jane’s Place.”

Jane’s head snapped around and she looked at me. I just nodded. “Initially, we will fund a facility here on the North Shore, and one near our California operation. Now, if you would join me, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.” With a twinkle in his eye, Hal reached into his coat pocket and took out some papers, “I had to look this up on the Internet,” Hal sheepishly explained. “Please pray with me,

In the peace of this season our spirits are joyful:
With the beasts and angels,
the shepherds and stars,
with Mary and Joseph we sing God's praise.
By your coming may the hungry be filled with good things,
and may our table and home be blessed.
Bless us O Lord, and these Thy gifts,
which we are about to receive from Thy bounty
through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

“And now, let’s eat!”

I sat stunned, was this really Hal? I thought over his actions of the past few days and realized that everything that had happened had been life changing for him also. I wasn’t the only one who was changed by the actions of the last weeks. I walked down to the head of the table, and with tears in my eyes, kissed the man who was my husband. “Thank you for a beautiful prayer,” I said before I quietly resumed my place.

What can I say; the dinner was, as anticipated, wonderful. The menu was extensive and Vikki blushed at the compliments she received. I knew my decision to insist the staff was family and should eat with us was the right one. After dinner, it was almost telepathic. The women shared in cleaning up, shortening the time Vikki and Teresa would have spent, and truthfully, none of the ladies objected.

It was kind of an extension of the cookie making process. I know it's terribly sexist, but everyone from governor Swift down to the youngest teenager (one of the Mooney girls, I think) pitched in and helped. I suppose it was our way to express our thanks to the kitchen staff.

With the last dish put away, the leftovers refrigerated, and the dessert ready to be served, we went upstairs to join the men.

It had been decided in our absence to have a game night. I had other plans …

I asked Jane and Linda to get Hal and Andy to join me in the upstairs office. We settled in, and I began. “You,” pointing to Jane, “expect me to do something about abuse. This morning you said justice can't be found in the courts. You,” I said to Hal and Linda, “say you love me, and you expect and trust me to make the right decision. And you, nodding to Andy, have my life and safety in your hands.”

“None of you `seems to remember how totally screwed up I am. I am certifiable. Even so, you expect me to instinctively do what's right. Who then is crazy? You … or me?

“I've been thinking all day. Actually, it started this morning with Simon's gift of a sword, and continued as I spent time with my twin. She's the one who truly inspired me. Don't you dare laugh, but she showed me things about myself this morning I never knew before.

“We live in a time when international borders are meaningless lines on a map. Justice can be bought or avoided. Especially, the poor can be caught up and crushed by the courts because their opponent can afford better attorneys. It seems clear to me that no state can truly provide justice. The last time these conditions prevailed was during the Middle Ages. States could not provide for the commonweal. Justice was something that existed only within the confines of a particular county — if then.

“Hal, there has to be a better answer. Because of your hard work, you've become rich and powerful. Because of your obsession Hal, I am your wife, and more powerful than I ever dreamed. At the same time, Cendar is in many countries, and when the diagnostic medical package is approved we will truly be global. Jane, you provided a piece to the puzzle. It's time to give back. I've come to believe justice comes with a price. Like liberty, it's never free.

“Here's what I propose to do. Though I know it will sound crazy, I want to form a new order of chivalry. A fellowship which puts justice ahead of law, and doesn't care about borders.”

I asked them to think about it, excused myself and left the others discussing the idea. I found Simon and asked him to join us. Simon entered the office, saw those gathered and a gleam appeared in his eyes With no further explanation, I asked Hal, Linda, Andy and Jane to bear witness to what was about to happen.

“This morning you gave me a sword. I desire to honor your request and enlist your help, to accept your offer of fealty. The sword has always stood for truth and justice. There is a truth you must know before you swear loyalty to me before the sword. I was born John, and through circumstance beyond my control I stand before you, known by all, now and forever as Katherine Elayne Stevens. I love, and am loved by my husband and my wife. Though born outwardly male, my doctors assure me I am indeed, inwardly a woman. This is my heart's deepest secret.”

Linda and Hal began to tear up. Simon, startled by this proclamation looked up. Our eyes met, the bond silently renewed.

“Few know that truth.”

I turned to my loved ones, “In ancient times justice was the obligation of the powerful as well as the state. In England, this became embodied in Common Law. Massachusetts proclaims itself to be a Commonwealth, the body politic of its residents. Each of you know the Commonweal is often disregarded.

“I intend that justice will again mean more than words upon a page. I am, by your love and devotion, powerful. Today I declare Justice shall not be ignored. By her leave I take up the name, the titles, and the duties of my twin, now and forever. Today the rich are the powerful. Hal, we have a power and a duty. I ask you, My Lord husband, my love, My Lady wife, will either of you deny me my right to justice?

I think Hal was more than a little bit stunned by my actions. Nevertheless, he shook his head, I turned to Linda and with tears making rivulets down her face, she too agreed to support my decision.

I reached to the desk, and took up the sword. “Simon, it's your choice,” I whispered. Simon knelt before me and clasped his hands as if in prayer. I had guessed right.

As though expecting it Simon began the ancient ritual, "Before these witnesses, I, Simon, Baron Somerset, promise on my faith that I will now and in the future be faithful to you my Lady, to never cause you harm and will observe my homage to You completely against all persons in good faith and without deceit."

“Think Simon, this is an age that has forsworn chivalry and justice. Nevertheless, if you will, I shall accept you as my liege man. By my might, I swear to endeavor always to be true and faithful. With this sword I will execute justice, both High and Low.”” I bared the blade. “Never will it be used for personal gain.”

Simon answered, “My lady, my liege Lord, let your enemies be my enemies, my victories your victories, and my Honor your honor. I bear true faith and witness. What you command, I shall do. Where you send me, I shall go. This I promise, and thus I swear to be your faithful liege until the world ends.”

I took his hands in mine: “I promise on my honor that I will now and in the future be faithful to you. This Oath of Fealty I accept, and will not release you until Justice is the norm and does not cry out to you from beyond the grave. That quest and charge I give you and promise support, help, and succor as is your due. Knowing your faithful loyalty to justice where none existed; On my honor, in memory of Gillian and all those destroyed by the strong, the lawless or the ones they cherished, I Dame Katherine Elayne Stevens, accept thee and name thee ‘Paladin,’ as is my right and duty.”

“Rise My Lord”

With a quirky smile Simon spoke, “You know my Lady, what we've just done may at some point be construed as conspiracy.?”

“Does that bother you? Do you think it bothers these witnesses? What do you think I would have you do?”

“Actually, it does strike me as just slightly outside the law to form a group whose aim is the elimination of rapists.”

“Do you think I care?” I asked, a snarl twisting my face.

“Hmm, no, I don't suppose you do; nor, in point of fact do I. So then, my Lady, what's our next step?”

“I don't know. I'm making this up as I go. We will see how the courts work. If John Maxwell is convicted, fine. We move on. If he's acquitted, I want him permanently unable to rape again. In this I will have Justice!”

“For now, we’ll carry on as before. I still have to convince Hal and Linda I've gone crazy in a good way.” That resulted in a laugh or two.

“Certainly the public side of helping victims with shelter houses is a start. I do think each “graduate” of the shelter program should be taught self-defense. Let them know the power hiding within. I want them to become lethal weapons. If attacked, to defend themselves and their children to the death. Andy, Simon, can you do this? I don't want the perp to get up, ever. That, at least is sort of within the law.

“In any case, we'll gather in a few days to discuss it.” I ended the conversation and we all rejoined the others.

I made my way to my bedroom, I'd thought too hard today and I desperately needed a nap.

Linda found me that way, still clothed, snuggled under a blanket. “Hey your Ladyship,” she teased. “Time to wake up … it's about 4 o'clock, and dessert's ready!”

“Can't you just let me sleep?” I whimpered.

“Oh no Your Highness. Your loyal subjects await your every whim.”

“Was I that ridiculous?”

“Oh Honey, no. Jane, Hal, Andy and I came to the conclusion that it was slightly daft, but actually reasonable, considering the way the world is. Jane offered any help she could. Hal thinks, and I agree, that only those who have a legitimate need to know be told about this in its entirety. How many to you think you're going to need?”

“I'm not sure. When Charlemagne ruled Europe he appointed 12 Paladins to see justice was observed; certainly less than that. Erik Moore, Pat and Sheila will need to know. We'll see how it goes from there. And I want an Island.”

“I'm not going to believe this, am I?”

“No, I'm serious. With so much trouble in the world, I think Cendar security should be expanding to provide protection, medical and security services. Able to provide maybe something like a reinforced company in size, with a Battalion sized medical attachment. I'm sure with the terrorist attacks, demand for consultants will go through the roof! I'd like an island to make that happen, and keep it quiet. We can also use that as a cover for some of what we'll be doing.”

“I was right, I don't believe it.”

“Oh forget it, I'm just daydreaming.”

“Well come along then Miss Day Dreamer, your kingdom awaits.”

Linda and I went to the family room, where Vikki served dessert. I could honestly get fat (uh … correction, fatter) living here. It goes without saying it was scrumptious.

Jane and her entourage waddled out into the late afternoon sun after exchanging goodbyes. Her eyes held the promise of hope. Everyone else seemed to drift off into their own activities and I went looking for Lisa. I wasn't surprised to find her with Annie huddled over Lisa's desk, planning for the SCA party.

“Hey you two, can I ask a question?”

“Sure Mom,” they chorused in unison before breaking out in giggles.

“I would like you to include crowns for the family. I've decided that Cendar has to be the equivalent of a Barony, you know, like “Railroad Baron,” And the family should be suitably crowned. Well, not really a crown. Annie, you know what I mean?

“You mean coronets,” Annie informed me.

“Mom that would be so cool,” Lisa said.

“I don't want to intrude on your planning, but I thought we could get some of the staff involved, like the security guards in livery, and appropriate clothing for our kitchen staff. What do you think?”

Annie chuckled, “I think I'm gonna be busy this week!”

“Lisa, do you have your guest list ready honey?”

“Mom, I put it on your desk yesterday.”

“Ooops! Okay, have you talked to them? Do you have a chaperon to accompany them?”

“It's all on the list,” Annie replied. “12 teenage girls, and Charlotte's dad as chaperon will be picked up on Saturday. I've talked to some friends, and we'll have about 25 local SCA members to help out, mostly guys,”

“Whoo hoo!” Lisa interrupted, and the two of them laughed.

“Anyway, I think things are coming together. Hermione’s planned the Hall's decorations. I'm working frantically to get all the garb created.”

“Excuse me, garb?”

“Mom, you're such a 'dane!” Lisa complained, and the two laughed at their inside joke.

“'Dane?”

With an exaggerated expression of exacerbation Annie answered “'Dane, as in mundane. Garb is the general term for period clothing. Besides Lisa's friends, I promised to make up garb for some of the local SCA members. This is a feast that will go down in Society history!”

“Okay, I'm leaving, taking my poor old 'dane bones, and leaving you two to your scheming.”

“Mom, about the coronets,” Lisa asked. “Should they be silver or gold colored?”

“I would prefer they be gold.”

“Wow! That will look so cool,”

“I'll talk to you girls later,” I said, retreating from my daughter’s castle.

I drifted into the TV room, and found Tim watching a TV. I sat down next to him. “Where'd everyone go?”

“I dunno,” Tim replied. So the two of us sat there watching TV.

-----------------------------
A home, in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, Christmas Day
Carol Maxwell was somewhat worried. John had not returned from his business trip. This wasn’t unusual, and Carol frankly hoped he’d never return. She would have left him long ago except for the children. John provided VERY well, but, he liked to hit. Her bruises from his farewell were finally fading away. And THAT was the reason she did not divorce him. She couldn’t take the chance that he would get custody of their three small children.
Pasting a smile on her face Carol woke her children. “Lucy, Sally, John, come on, get up, it’s Christmas Morning, you sillies! Lucy, Sally, and John were the love of her life. Triplets! Sally and Lucy were identical. Labor had been horrid, and Carol wound up not being able to bear any more children. Her husband blamed her for that, of course! Shepherding her 10 year olds downstairs, the kids went nuts when they saw the tree!
Carol passed out the presents, and watched her angels open them.
‘Who could be calling at this time of the morning?’

A mechanical voice told her “This is the Correctional Facility Billing Service. I have a John Maxwell from the Federal Detention Center in Miami, Florida on the line trying to reach Carol Maxwell. Will you accept the charges?
Carol looked down at the phone in her hand and carefully placed it back in its receiver. A genuine smile crept to her lips and kept going, forming a grin that threatened to split her face in half. Maybe this WOULD be a Merry Christmas. While the kids were occupied with the gifts, Carol slipped into John’s office. She found his rolodex, and called their attorney.
“Carol, Merry Christmas! What can I do for you?”
“Leo, I want a divorce. John has gone and gotten himself arrested, and is in Federal Jail in Miami. If he’s convicted, I want a divorce before he gets out!”
“What has he been arrested for?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m sick and tired of being beaten at his whim. Leo, one of these days he’s gonna kill me! Can you come over with a camera? I still have bruises from his last beating, and the doctor says I’ve a broken rib.”
“Relax, Carol. Nothing’s going to be done this week. I’ll get word to him that I’m looking into his case and will visit him on Monday.”
“Thanks Leo, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Well, once we know what he’s been arrested for, we’ll have a better idea of how to proceed. I will have to get a Florida based attorney to actually represent him, but this way he’ll see you tried.”
“Yeah, sure I did!” Carol laughed before hanging up the phone.
-----------------------------
United States Federal Detention Facility, Miami, Florida Christmas Day

John Maxwell was in the common room of the third floor pod in the East Wing. So far, he’d avoided confrontations with any of the other prisoners. That, he knew, was just a matter of time. There was no way he could physically take on many of the prisoners. For the third time today he tried to place a collect call to his home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota. On the third ring the phone was answered. The lady who picked up the phone listened to the operator, and then refused the call in a cheerful and pleasant Midwestern accent.
John Maxwell couldn’t believe his wife of twenty plus years would do that to him. He promised himself when he got out of this mess she would get the beating she so richly deserved — just like the slut on the cruise. Maxwell returned to his cell, ignoring his cellmate, climbed in his bunk relishing the memory of the rape. He shut his eyes, wishing he could shut the world out just as easily.
-----------------------------
Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Tuesday, Christmas Day, 2001
The guests had all gone home. The house began to quiet down, and after checking in on the kids, I went to my bedroom and changed. A long flannel nightgown, and thick woolen socks completed my attire as I struggled to remove my makeup and go to bed.
It had been a long day. At the end I’d found the bonds of love stronger than my yearning for freedom. For now, I had no choice, I would, as promised before witnesses, be Kate. I don’t know how, but I will love and honor both my husband and my wife. The old feeling of unease, of waiting for just the right moment to throw up was still there. But the time with my twin comforted and strengthened me.
I climbed in bed, and read until Hal and Linda joined me. Then I fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
--------------------------
United States Federal Detention Facility, Miami, Wednesday December 26, 2001.

Nominally the week Before Christmas until the day after New Years Day, were given all Cendar employees as “Winter Leave.” That was the more politically correct term for getting the time off for the holidays. Generally, Cendar employees found envelopes with their name containing a full month’s salary as a Christmas bonus on top of their December Paychecks. Hal and Beth believed in keeping the best workers, and keeping them happy.
There were, however, those whose job required them to work around the clock seven days a week. These poor unfortunates could be divided into groups - those on medical duty and those with security duties. Ed Millhouse fell into the second category. He used all his contacts to keep tabs on John Maxwell. Ed even found himself sitting before the duty magistrate. If anything were to happen to John Maxwell, it was his job to know what it was and take steps to follow.
An unhappy player in our drama was winging his way down to Miami. Leo Sweeney had decided to visit John Maxwell as soon as possible. It wasn’t that he liked his client, he didn’t. In the upcoming divorce he would certainly represent Carol, pro bono if necessary. If anything he was acting for her; he had the necessary documents to make bail, if it should be allowed. Because he was certified to practice before the Supreme Court, he would be accepted even in the Miami Federal Courts. Leo arrived at 10:30, and took a taxi to the Federal Judicial Center, Miami. Working his way past the clerks, police, marshals, and secretaries he finally arranged a hearing before the duty magistrate.
“Mr. Sweeney, let me begin by letting you know I’m operating under pretty relaxed rules today, have you had a chance to talk with your client yet?”
“No, your Honor. I am Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell’s Family Attorney. I have yet to be informed of the charges against my client. I would like to talk to him, and hold a bail hearing today. Mr. Maxwell is a pillar of his community, sits on the town council, and has a portfolio valued at $2,500,000. Mrs. Maxwell has offered part or the entire portfolio as surety that he will appear and comply with court orders.
“Bailiff, would you fetch John Maxwell so that he can talk to his attorney, and be present for these proceedings. While we are waiting Mr. Sweeney, have a seat, I’ve plenty of other fish to fry this day.
Leo sat in the jury box, as was his lawyers’ privilege. 20 minutes later, an unshaven, unkempt John Maxwell appeared in the docket.
Finishing his previous business the magistrate Indicated that Maxwell and Leo should stand before him at the dock.
“Mister Maxwell, I have to admit, there’s a couple of serious charges here. Do you want to hear the charges and plead to them today?”
Leo leaned over and spoke in a low tone with John. After a moment, they came to an agreement and Leo answered, “Yes, your honor;”
“Madam clerk, would please read the charges, just the highlights if you please?
“Yes your honor. In US vs. Maxwell the complaint specifies: Assault with a deadly weapon on a Peace officer, Simple Assault on a Peace Officer, Aggravated assault and Battery, 1 count of Piracy with special circumstances; the scene of the crime being the cruise ship Golden Princess then underway in International waters; Burglary in commission of Piracy, Robbery in the commission of Piracy, Rape in the commission of Piracy, Intimidation of Witness, Subornation of a Public Official.”
”Madame clerk, you will please provide a complete copy and specifications to the defendant’s attorney.”
“Well, Mr. Maxwell that is one butt ugly list of charges. How do you plead?”
Leo answered for the defendant, “Not guilty.”
“Very well. Madame clerk, please schedule this case in 60 days; that should give you plenty of time to prepare your defense.”
“Your honor, in the matter of bail?
“Well,, I suppose we’ve gone this far. Mr. Prosecutor, what does the government suggest on bail”
“Your honor, the government opposes bail in this case. We believe the defendant to be a flight risk. Should Bail be granted, it should be set prohibitively high.”
“Okay then, bail will be set at $1.5 million cash or securities, $5 million if a bondsman is used. Monies or securities to be placed with the clerk of the court.
“Now, a good day to you ‘all,” the judge said, banging his gavel and leaving the courtroom.
Leo provided the required securities, and waited for the bail process to work its way to John.
Ed Milhouse left the courtroom and began making calls.
----------------------------------
Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Wednesday, December 26, 2001
“This is Andrew Jeeves,” Andy took the phone call in the second floor security office.
“Hi boss, it’s Ed Milhouse. John Maxwell just made bail.”

John pulled the cell-phone out and tried calling Leo. No answer, no message, shit!

Maxwell then tried to call home. At least this time someone answered. “Hello?”

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?”

“This must be Mr. Maxwell?”

“Yeah, you still haven’t answered me!”

“Oh, well Mr. Maxwell this is Roger Guthrie of the FBI. I’d like to thank you for leaving your safe unlocked.”

John Maxwell hung up the phone, in shock. His safe unlocked?

Impossible.

Inconceivable.

----------------

Yes, Comdex is alive and well. Well the story anyway. This chapter marks the end of the longest Comdex drought. There are three (or four) Chapters in process. Thank you for being understanding.

This chapter introduces a new editor for me. Holly Happy Hart was my editor for years. I miss her desperately. She was my friend, I'd helped her move across country. Now I've found a new editor - MichelleA

I am very fortunate, and so are you. Her comments made the story much more readable.

Andy sat staring at the fish in his aquarium. It was part of the divider in his office. On one side of the divider was his “I’m the boss, I have a Big chair” desk made of beautiful mahogany. Two not very comfortable “visitor” chairs were in front of the desk; behind the desk was a gorgeous credenza. Frankly, it was as intimidating as he could make it. No One wanted to meet with Andy there. It usually meant someone would be leaving the office, and often the company, missing a pound of ass.

On the other side of the dividing wall was where Andy did most of his work. He’d thrown a door on top of two small filing cabinets when he’d first moved in, and still preferred it to his “boss desk.” This desk showed signs of wear. Under the glass it was scuffed in the middle, where Andy often propped up his legs. A few years ago he’d had it topped with a piece of glass. The surface was covered with papers in neat piles, and a set of maps on the wall; the US map was opened. On one side of his work desk was a coffee pot, a pot of hot water (for tea and hot chocolate), and a snack tray the kitchen staff made sure was ready all the time. Above that, on little pegs, were the mugs and cups of the estate’s security. On the other side, under the table, he kept a little refrigerator; the kind college kids kept in their dorm rooms. On the back of the desk, where the knob would have been installed, all the electrical cords passed from the top to a large battery backup on the floor. On the wall, a large LCD monitor was mounted on an arm that Andy could pull down to a comfortable height, or push away. In one corner of the room, two TV receivers were mounted, one on top of the other. The top television allowed Andy to watch the local TV stations, and the bottom one was connected to a satellite dish; this provided access to television signals around the globe. At the other end of the office was a couch. A few comfortable chairs were scattered willy-nilly around the room. At the other end of the office was the communications console. In addition to the telephone, he had access to the local police bands. If you had to meet with Andy Jeeves, this was where you hoped it would be.

The fish tank divided the room. It also provided a needed distraction. At seven minutes after 2:00 pm the private line connecting Andy’s office with Cendar’s main communication center rang.

“Hi boss, it’s Ed Milhouse. John Maxwell just made bail.”

“Damn!” How in the hell did he manage that so fast?”

“His attorney flew in this morning and banged on the Judge’s ear until he was given a hearing. Bail was set at $1.5 million. Neither he nor his attorney flinched at the amount,” Ed replied.

“Can you follow him?”

“I don’t know, I’m in the office now. He’s supposed to be in Miami, but from what I know I’d guess he’ll be headed home. Some place in the Midwest called Eden Prairie. Have you ever heard of it?”

“Yes,” Andy look up at the map and said, “Our closest office is in Chicago. I’d like you to follow him if you can. It you can’t, try to get to Eden Prairie ahead of him.”

“I doubt we will be able follow him; but if he’s with his attorney, okay, then maybe. Okay. I’ll pick someone reliable, preferably female, and get on it. See if you can find out where he lives, and what’s around him. If you can, get in touch with the FBI and the local police. Explain what’s happened and see if you can get them to cooperate.”

“We’ll get that information to you as soon as we get it,” Jeeves told Ed. When he gets there try to keep an eye on him. If he gets on a plane, especially a plane to Boston, I want to know it. Day or Night, got it?”

“Yes sir. What happens if we can’t get Police cooperation?”

“Ed, I don’t think that will be a problem. If it does, call me. Off the record, Gov. Swift is taking an active interest in what happens. She is pissed.”

“Okay, I’m on my way. I’ll try to get in touch with you as soon as I arrive.”

“Thanks Ed, I’ll try to send you help in the next day or two. Just find that asshole and keep tabs on him. I want him cuffed and stuffed if you get a chance.”

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, Wednesday, December 26, 2001

Andrew Jeeves put the phone down and looked out the window of his office as the snow began to fall. Weather reports called for at least six inches of snow; the soft fluffy kind that made everything so picturesque. Everyone in the residence was enjoying a calm, peaceful day after Christmas. The dining hall was being decorated to resemble an English 16th century hall in preparation for Lisa’s medieval “Mid-Winter” celebration. Linda, Beth and John had spent the day brainstorming Beth’s idea for a shelter. Holiday music and the scent of pine filled the air.

Andrew Jeeves was a man with a problem. It wouldn’t go away, and it certainly would destroy the joyous spirit in the house. John Maxwell was out of jail. Kate would go ballistic. He didn’t know what Hal would do. Jeeves changed from his relaxed jeans and flannel shirt to his more utilitarian Tactical Uniform. . Clearly visible on his chest was the badge of a police officer. On the shoulders, Velcro backed shoulder insignia could show Cendar or the Commonwealth Coat of Arms, on the other shoulder an EMT patch, and American flag, and on one collar a wreath with three pips indicating his rank as chief of Cendar Security and Police Services. On his other collar he wore the insignia of the Massachusetts State Police. He strapped on a Sam Brown belt, then checked his Glock .40 S&W pistol.

Andy called into the local EOC (emergency operations center) with a radio check and notice that the Estate was now considered a potential target. He would provide more information as it became available. Andy called in additional security officers, most of whom were the police officers of the surrounding towns, working for Cendar part-time — picking up extra income. The roads into the estate were closed. The simple guard shacks, normally empty, were manned. They contained controls for pop up barriers that would stop a cement truck. Very little was obvious, yet, but that was the point. If needed they were there. He ordered the fence line and some rather exotic sensors checked. Everything he ordered would be done as quietly as possible. The helicopter-pad was cleared and one of Cendar’s helicopters ordered to the estate.

Andy pulled on his coat and picked up a bag from the front closet. Stepping outside, he enjoyed the calm, crisp, clean, clear air and headed towards the main house.

Andy entered the mud room and came in through the kitchen. Vikki smiled in a greeting that faded at the sight of the tactical uniform and the look on Jeeves’ face. “What’s the matter Andy?” she asked as he walked by.

“Vikki let me talk to Hal first, everything just went sideways,” Jeeves’ replied.

“Is there anything I can do?” she asked. Jeeves started to shake his head; instead he thought for a second then said just one word “Alamo.” Vikki was dialing the phone even before Jeeves had left the kitchen walking into the great hall.

Jeeves smiled at her efficiency as he walked into the downstairs office. Vicky would have at least an extra month’s provisions on the estate before the end of the day.

Hal was the first to see him. Since Jeeves NEVER wore tactical without a reason, he knew something was drastically wrong. “Mr. Stevens, Alamo, I’ll have a report for you in thirty minutes, upstairs.” Jeeves said knowing nothing more was needed. Kate and Linda saw Jeeves in his uniform, a first for either of them, heading for his office. Kate’s smile vanished at the look on Andy’s face.

Hal moved immediately. Without thinking he asked, or rather demanded that Kate and Linda come with him immediately. They followed Hal through the security door, up the elevator, into their closet,

Hal dropped his trousers, and grabbed his coverall, asking Kate to do the same.

“Hon, what’s going on?” Kate demanded, as she followed suit.

“Honey, I don’t know. I only know we have long established procedures, and Jeeves has just declared an emergency.”

“He didn’t have time to do that. All he did was say hi to you.”

“Kate, Andy only said one word to me, ‘Alamo,’ which is a code word we’ve had for years. It means there is a real and imminent threat; the estate may come under attack. I have no idea what it is, but I do trust that Andy wouldn’t use it if it wasn’t an emergency. Until I know otherwise, I’ll follow our procedures. That means getting myself and you two, into your coveralls. Andy told me he would have a report in 30 minutes. At the worst, you get to practice for a “real” emergency,” he said, smiling.

“Linda, I think there’s a similar coverall for you in the room we initially made up for you, would you get it, put it on and come back here? I promise you won’t miss out on any information or decisions.

Linda did indeed find the garment in the closet. It pulled on over her pants and shirt. It seemed awfully thick in the front and back. Knowing Hal, she suspected Kevlar. Linda thought this was all a bit much, even for Hal, but, she reflected, she didn’t know what was going on. Picking up the boots that obviously were part of the ensemble she returned to their bedroom

Hal was making adjustments to the fit of Kate’s Coverall and her gun belt.

Hal, Kate, and Linda looked like something from an action/thriller movie who used out of shape actors. “Hon, I need to get some things started. I know it’s all very melodramatic, but could you take Linda to the range and get her a gun belt? After all,” he grinned, “there’s no point in having a costume party and forget part of your costume.” Linda looked at Hal and realized something was indeed very, badly wrong. While she couldn’t imagine needing a gun, the attitudes of Hal and Jeeves brooked no argument.

Upstairs office, Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, 14:15 PM Wednesday, December 26, 2001

“Okay Andy, what’s going on?”

“Maxwell just made bail.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t need that. We’re going to have problems. Can you get Tom and probably Meri up here, tell ‘em Kate’s probably going to need something to calm her down?”

“I suspect they’ve already heard from Vikki, but I’ll have them up here. Vikki’s started things rolling on the logistics side. I’ve ordered more officers to the estate, and within an hour — maybe less.”

“Thanks Andy.”

“Hal, have you noticed how much our relationship has changed over the last few months?”

“Yes, I have, and the reason why is in the basement, fitting her wife with a gun belt. I hate to say it, but Kate’s even more of an influence than Kate was a year ago. I don’t know if that’s real, just my imagination, or what.”

“Whatever it is, it’s real. I’d never have called you Hal if she hadn’t personalized my relationship with her, and by extension, with you. You better get going.”

Hal walked down the hall and found Dorothy in the game room with Tim and TJ, “Hi Dorothy, listen, we have a problem, can you and TJ help me out with it?”

“Hey Uncle Hal, neat outfit, what’s going on? Are we going shooting again?”

“No sport, not right now. Listen; can you lend me your Grandma and uncle for a while?”

“Sure, no problem, I’m sure I can find something to do.”

Hal, Dorothy, and TJ headed down the hall, “What’s wrong Hal,” TJ asked as they walked to the bedroom.

“That bastard Maxwell has somehow made bail. I don’t know how, but Kate’s going to go ballistic.”

“Oh no,” Dorothy said, “That girl can’t get a break. It’s just one thing after another.”

“I know Dorothy, I’m afraid most of it’s my fault.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Maybe, but if I’d let her alone in Las Vegas none of this would have happened.”

“Linda and Kate walked into this with eyes wide open.”

“Maybe Linda did, but not Kate, and it’s still my fault.”

They entered the office, and there found Andy, Tom and Meri.

“Okay, the deal is Maxwell’s made bail. Andy’s started the process of trying to find him, but we’ve no idea of what he’ll do. For the meantime we’re increasing the security around Kate, and we’ll take a wait and see attitude.

“Hal, you need to get rid of the gun, that’s only going to make her sure things have gone wrong,” Tom told him.

“Yeah, Andy gave me a code word, and this was the beginning of the planned response, I’ll dump it as soon as I can.

“You know she’s going to go nuts over this, don’t you?” TJ asked.

“Yeah, that’s why I wanted you here.”

Tom said, “Okay, I’ll prepare something to calm her down; then we tell her more when she’s relaxed. If I have to, I’ll knock her out, and we can tell her when she wakes.”

I’d taken Linda to the basement armory and helped fit her with a gun belt. You can always tell when someone first starts wearing a gun. They tend to walk kind of awkwardly; all due to the extra weight on the hips, it throws off your center of gravity. I also discovered women’s duty belts ride higher, and the best have a bit of a curve built into them. Fortunately there were a number of sizes. For a weapon I gave her the “Lady Smith” Hal had once purchased for my twin.

“Is all this really necessary?” Linda asked.

“Probably not, but you know how Hal is. Honey, I know you’ve never liked guns,” I told her, “but something has happened. Hal and Andy are both concerned. Actually, I think they’re scared,” I said.

“Okay, so we play along with his costume party,” Linda said, “just don’t jump out and scare me,” she joked.

“I know you remember how to shoot, but let’s let you punch some holes in a target before we go upstairs, I don’t want you blowing your foot off or something,” I teased, trying to diffuse some of the tension.

I made sure Linda understood the safety features on the gun. Grabbing two pair of ear muffs, Linda and I went next door to the range, and I made sure she remembered how to handle a gun. When all was said and done, she demonstrated she could still shoot, though not terribly well. I helped her clean things up, reloaded the magazines and the two of us headed upstairs.

“You know Hon,” Linda said, “If it weren’t for the funny suits and whatever has Jeeves and Hal in a tizzy, this would be fun. I never understood your love of shooting.” Linda had natural eye/hand coordination and discovered she enjoyed punching holes from 15 yards.

Linda was curious about the other equipment she was carrying on her belt. “Okay,” I told her, “For now, until you know how to use those things how about you point and I’ll explain.” Lin pointed to her belt, opposite the gun holster, a knife. “Geez,” I laughed, “I thought you would know what a knife is but that is not a normal knife. It’s more of an Oh My Gosh it’s a freaking KNIFE. Be careful with it. That is what is called a Ka-Bar. The blade is razor sharp. It is sharp enough to shave with, and I’ve seen it done. It will cut you so fast you won’t even know what happened.” Linda pointed at the other side of the belt from the holster where there was an empty holder. “That is for a taser, it’ll drop you where you stand. It fires electrodes that deliver a high voltage jolt that scrambles the nervous system causing the bad guy to fall down.”

“Honey don’t you think this is all, I don’t know, going overboard?” Linda asked.

“Probably, But you know how Hal is,” I said. “If you’re going to do something, overdo it! I’ve been told he wasn’t always like this. Did you know several years ago one of the company execs was kidnapped, along with his wife? Both were killed. Hal swore it would never happen again.”

“What could scare Hal?” Linda asked.

“I don’t have a clue,” I replied, “but I’ve never seen him like that before.”

We started back towards the elevator. She pointed to three cylindrical holders on her belt. I explained, “Those are designed to give you a choice instead of just shooting someone. The first is an ASP baton, the second, Mace, and the third is a really, REALLY, bright flashlight. That leaves the radio which we’ll have to show you.

“Men and their toys,” she said and we both laughed exiting the closet together.

I was a bit surprised at the number of people waiting in the bedroom office. “Wow what a change a few minutes makes” I said, whispering to Linda. Pat and Sheila were there both looking grim, along with Dr. Tom and Meri. My mom stood against a wall by a table of snacks.

Andy and Hal had removed their gun belts, and Hal offered to take mine and Linda’s. I didn’t say anything, but I was relieved, VERY relieved. I couldn’t imagine anything that would mean Linda and I needed guns.

Once Hal had taken my gun belt, my mom came over to me. “Honey, do you trust me?” she asked. I wasn’t sure why, and I sure couldn’t stop it; but my heart started racing and I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. “Of course I do,” looking around, at the faces, I started to panic. “Momma, you’re scaring me.”

“Honey I’d like Tom to give you something to help you manage some news we have. All around the room all I saw were grim faces. “Tom, do I need it?”

“Kate, I think it would be... best.”

“Oh my God,” I shouted. “It’s John Maxwell isn’t it?”

“Kate, please let me give you something.”

“No!” I screamed. “Where is the bastard? WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON!”

I know I had a deer in the headlights look. That no one would tell me what was going on somehow made it worse. I didn’t even notice Tom jab me through my pants. “Momma, Please make them tell me” I was becoming desperate, I knew it and so did everyone else.

“Where the hell is he? Is he coming here?” I started to notice the drug. This was definitely not my normal dose of Atavan. I had to sit down, fast. I could feel whatever Tom had given me battling the adrenaline, and winning. Tom checked my vital signs and pronounced me “sloshed.” Hal brought a chair over and sat directly in front of me, holding my hands. “Kate, do you understand me,” he asked. I nodded my head. It felt like so much fun I nodded again.

“Wait,” I screamed, “What in the hell is happening?”

Hal replied, “Kate, John Maxwell made bail.”

I noticed Andy come over and sit in front of me with Hal, “Well tell him we don’t have any room for Hymns A Majesty so beautiful things when the bee stings don’t pull down your pants Honey is my favorite things are coming upon the roof roof no that’s Ruth candy bars were in the gas tank you got a tiger by his tail of a 1000 and won a bet teasing a song of six vitamins and iron bars and stripes forever and a day dream believer and a home on the range,” it was so much fun I didn’t notice I was the only one singing.

“Kate, listen,” Hal was still talking instead of singing along with me. “We still don’t know how it happened but Maxwell made bail.” Hal told me.”

“JOHN MAXWELL MADE BAIL?” I screamed. The scream bounced off the walls, I was confused. “what’s all the noise for?” I asked, looking around. “Who’s going to sing sing a away in a galaxy far far and wide but I lost all my glasses,” I turned and saw Linda, “I love just me and you, it’s true tales of the west, north and sour mash it was the monster trucks and pretty horses and Linda honey, wanna show ‘em all your targets?” I was having a hard time saying what I wanted to say, “Oh, hi momma, can I rest my head on your lap?”

“Hey, Tom, how many laps should you ever see a some great big teddy that looks sew a button,” I blinked a couple of times, thought carefully what I wanted to say, “Momma, I think I need a nap,” I smiled to myself, nodding my head, happy that I’d got it right. “Can I have some hot chocolate and ‘smores?”

With a smile, I looked up as Tom walked back over, I looked up at him. “Do you love me? Shhhh… I won’t tell Meri” I winked, smiling seductively.

“What were we talking about?” I asked looking around. At that point I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Tom spoke to the people in the room. “That, ladies and gentlemen is what’s called free association. Kate probably won’t remember anything other than Maxwell’s out. If you love her do NOT tease her or bring any of this up. She’s fragile enough, and I regret having so many people here.”

Tom and Meri checked Kate’s vitals. Meri slipped an oxygen mask over her face, and with Linda and Hall pulled the jump suit off and covered her with a blanket.

“Well I guess I’ll know not to give her that much again,” Tom chuckled as Mari checked the oxygen flow to the mask over Linda’s face. Tom checked her blood pressure again, “It’s still about normal.” he said, I’ll go ahead with the Ativan, and she’ll be back with us in oh, 30 minutes or so.”

------------------

United States Federal Detention Facility, Miami, Wednesday December 26, 2001, 15:00 pm.

Leo Sweeney picked up his client two hours after the Judge granted bail. “John, you know you can’t leave Miami don’t you?”

“Fuck the courts, and fuck you too. Just get me to a Hotel so I can get clean. You did remember to bring me a change of clothes didn’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s in your hotel. Ease off John, I’m kind of pissed off too, you know. You know I left my folks on Christmas just to get your ass out of the slams. You’re staying at the Sheraton Miami for the time being.”

“The Sheraton” Maxwell groused, “Couldn’t you do any better than that?”

“You know John; I figured you’d want to make your own arrangements. I didn’t really think I could get you out. Be glad the State’s attorney was home for Christmas or you’d be in Miami Dade Correctional right now.”

Maxwell just sat in the car, brooding over the turn his life had taken. At least he hadn’t been punked, though the bruises on his face showed how hard he’d fought to stay that way. There was just No Way he was going back there.

The room was on the 10th floor, and Sweeney opened the door. Maxwell doubled his fists and rabbit punched his attorney. ‘Damn, they ALL fall for it every time.’ He thought, dragging the limp body into the room and onto the bed. Using his attorney’s clothes Maxwell tied him down to the bed.

John Maxwell was nothing if not thorough. The battered valise Sweeney had brought with him was locked and Leo had no idea of its contents. Neither, if the truth be told, did his wife. John always kept the valise ready for overnight trips, or so he claimed. In reality the valise carried much more than clothes, including five thousand dollars cash, an old 1911 Colt .45 pistol, kept in immaculate condition that had never been registered, two extra magazines and a box of ammunition. There was also a silencer that screwed on the end of the Colt’s barrel. More importantly it contained another identity with a passport, checkbook, and credit cards in the name of Michael Downey. Downey had actually existed; he was Maxwell’s former partner, now deceased. Maxwell used the credit cards just often enough to remain active, always paying bills by check. He also kept several thousand in the checkbook, and even more in CD accounts linked to the checking account. The return address was the real estate office the two had founded. There was also a throw away cell phone, a length of cord, and a roll of duct tape. It had everything a man needed to run away.

He showered, and changed into the clothes from his valise.

Leo Sweeney had regained consciousness. “John, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he asked. “You know if you do this you’re screwed. Why? I’ve a good chance of getting you off.”

“Shut up Leo, I’m not going back to jail. Period. The only reason this happened is that damn bitch talked. I’ve got to shut her up.”

“John, don’t you know who that “damn bitch” is? You raped Kate Stevens, her husband is one of the richest men in the country!”

“Yeah, that was made clear to me before I left the ship. That’s why I’ve got to shut her up. There’s no way I can buy her off.”

“John, you’re crazy!”

“Maybe, but I’m the one with the gun, so just shut your mouth. Not another word.”

Maxwell bound his attorney with duct tape; his eyes were covered with a towel. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes. If you’ve moved, I’ll kill you. The only reason you’re still alive is you have helped me, and you’ve never crossed me. When I’m gone remember that. I’m going to have to kill that bitch, and I can just as easily kill you too. Don’t make me regret not killing you now.”

John had no intention of going back. He left the motel, headed north. Five hours later he dropped off the rental car at Tampa International Airport. Inside, he looked at the outgoing international flight board. He found what he was looking for in a flight to the UK. A flight scheduled to leave the next morning had been cancelled. There would be many passengers looking for a replacement to the cancelled flight. Maxwell booked a flight to Manchester, England, using Sweeney’s credit card, and ID. The flight was 12 hours away. Like any other passenger Maxwell found a corner and napped. He had much to do the next day.

------------------------------

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, 19:30 PM Wednesday, December 26, 2001

Kate did not wake, as expected, in an hour. Instead, she would sleep through the day and through the night. For her doctor, Tom, it meant a long day and night, watching over his most important patient — and his friend. Meri kept watch with him, the two helping each other stay awake. Outside the door Pat and Sheila kept watch. One or the other was always there.

Andy went ahead with the plans for Alamo. Security was tightened; resources were brought to the estate. For the first time officers were patrolling the perimeter of the estate in pairs. The officers were grim. Cendar was more than a job for most of them, it was family. The idea that someone could rape Kate Stevens, then threaten her ten days later, angered them deeply. It was, to most of them, as though someone had threatened a member of their own family.

The estate was at the highest readiness level since Jack and Karen Voigt had been kidnapped, back in 1994. The guard force had been trebled. Two helicopter were now based on the estate grounds; the pilot’s sleeping in their ready room. One of the helicopters was "borrowed" from the Massachusetts National Guard; it was a UH-1F Gunship, sent with the Governor's blessings. The second helicopter was equipped for medivac.

As for Maxwell, after he was released from jail, he disappeared. No one knew anything about him.

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts, 20:45 PM Wednesday, December 26, 2001

Andy was wrapping things up for the day when the call came in. “Andy, I’ve got a call you should probably take,” the night operator at Cendar Services said.

“This is Andrew Jeeves, how can I help you?”

“I’m trying to get a hold of Hal Steven’s, they transferred me to you. My name is Leo Sweeney, I was John Maxwell’s attorney until about 5 hours ago. I think I have some information he needs; can you help me?”

Andy broke in, “What? Hold on a minute, I think I can get Hal on the line.”

Andy raced to the Master bedroom, “Hal, you need to join me in the office NOW. Leo Sweeney, Maxwell’s attorney is on the line.”

Hal pulled on a robe, and quickly walked down the hall to the upstairs’ guest office. Andy put the phone on the speaker. “Okay Mr. Sweeney, Mister Steven’s is here.”

Hal spoke up with barely suppressed anger, “I’m kind of surprised you’re calling, considering your client raped and brutalized my wife.”

“Mister Steven’s, if I had known what kind of man John Maxwell really is, I never would have represented him. About 5 hours ago Maxwell knocked me out, tied me to the bed in his hotel room, and disappeared. I do not know where he is now, but he made it clear that he will be trying to kill Mrs. Stevens in order to shut her up.”

“Do you have any idea where he might have gone?”

“I can only assume he’ll be headed home, if for no other reason he’ll want to secure enough money to truly disappear. “

“Can you tell us where home is for that bastard?”

“Yeah, he lives on the outskirts of Eden Prairie, Minnesota. Got a pen? I can give you his address.”

Andy pulled out tablet and a pen, “go ahead Mr. Sweeney.”

“2485 Modoc Terrace, you should know, he’s on the city council, and he’s tight with the police in Eden Prairie. I’m sorry; I should have known he’d do something like this. I’ve been trying to get Carol, his wife, to leave him for years now. He beats her, but she would never do anything about it. Like I said, he’s very friendly and well-liked by the police. When she called me to take care of Maxwell’s bail, she finally agreed to leave him. I took pictures of her just before I left; he’s been gone for over a week, and the bruises still show.”

“Mister Sweeney, would you be willing to meet with me tomorrow? I think we need to talk more. I can’t speak for her, but I’m willing to bet Kate is going to want to do something to help her. Can you fly up here?”

“Well, that’s going to be a problem; Maxwell took my wallet. He’s got my ID, my credit cards, and the cash I had, oh… you should also know he’s armed.”

“Armed? How did he get a gun? Let me get someone from our Florida office to pick you up. I’ll take care of getting you up here; will you do that?”

“Mister Steven’s, I’ve GOT to get Carol out of there before John gets home.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Kate would want her out of there; she’s already met John Maxwell. Can you call Mrs. Maxwell, get her to pack up a few clothes. Is there somewhere she can stay?”

“In that town? No way. All it would take is a phone call from John to get someone in the Police department to pick her up, the kids taken by social services.”

“Well, do you think she could get to the airport? If so, we could have her picked up, and she could meet you here. Once she is safe we can figure out what to do. I’ll tell you this, if what you say is true, neither Kate nor I, will be comfortable until she is safe.”

“Your wife must be a remarkable woman to feel that strongly about someone she doesn’t even know.”

“Oh she is mister Sweeney; you’ve no idea just how special she is.”

“Please, my name’s Leo, I can’t see holding on formality when you’re doing all this for Carol and for me.”

“Okay Leo, let’s get things in motion. Tell Carol Maxwell to get to the airport as soon as possible. I’ll take care of the flight arrangements. We will have someone pick you up within the hour. See how soon Carol Maxwell can get to the airport. That’s what, Minneapolis St. Paul?” Sweeney said yes, “Have her go to the cargo terminal; tell her to expect someone to meet her there. I’ll have the details when you call back.”

Leo and Hal concluded their conversation. Leo immediately called Carol.

“Carol, this is Leo; we have a huge problem. John made bail, but he went slightly nuts. He knocked me out, took my wallet and left. He says he’s going to kill the woman from the cruise ship.”

“Oh no, is he coming home?”

“I think so, so I need you to grab some clothes, and get to Minneapolis St. Paul airport. I’ll have transportation waiting for you there.”

“As if I didn’t have enough trouble with John already,” Carol sighed. “What am I supposed to do at the airport?”

“Carol, I know this is going to sound crazy, but someone will meet you there. The week he was gone he raped a woman. Her husband is providing a plane. Just get the kids and go! There’s no telling what John will do.”

“Leo, you’re frightening me. Do you really think he’d do something to me or the kids?”

“Carol, he beats you all the time! Do you think he’s going to be happy when he gets there? No way, he’s really gone crazy over this. Just get out of there!”

“Okay, first thing in the morning we’ll leave.”

“Carol, listen to me. You have to leave NOW. Not an hour from now, not in the morning, NOW. I won’t be able to relax until you’re out of that maniac’s reach.”

“Leo, he wouldn’t hurt the kids.”

“Carol, yesterday I would have bet he wouldn’t hurt me. I’ve a bump on my head, and blood on my shirt that say otherwise. Please don’t argue, just get out of there. Take your cell phone. Call me when you get on the road.”

“Okay Leo, and, thanks.” Carol told her lawyer, her friend.

Carol dressed the kids, then packed a few clothes, and was almost out of the house when she thought about money. John would certainly be mad at her anyway; she went back upstairs to the bedroom she shared with him. Quickly, she gathered up her jewelry, and John’s watches. Carol went downstairs into the office. He didn’t know she knew the combination of the safe. She’d found it in the files when John still let her work in his real estate office. She had carefully memorized it before replacing it in the file cabinet. If John suspected, he certainly would have changed it — after beating her to “teach her a lesson.”

The contents surprised her. There was a gun, a big stack of money, a bag of loose diamonds, and stacks of gold coins. Carol left the gun, grabbed the money, the diamonds, and the files he kept in the safe. She went to the front closet, and grabbed a tote bag. Back in the office she took the gold coins.

Gathering the kids, the bags, and her purse, Carol Maxwell left her home of 15 years. Putting everything in the car, and strapping the kids in, Carol drove off; tears running down her face, staining the white cardigan sweater she wore. If someone had asked her why she was crying she would have had a hard time giving an answer. She was scared, she was glad the beatings were over with, and she was heartbroken over losing her home.

Gerri Klein and Ed Milhouse picked Leo Sweeney up at the Sheraton just after 21:00. They had him at Miami International and on a chartered flight an hour later.

Carol Maxwell made it to Minneapolis — St. Paul International airport by 8:30 pm. She was met by a woman holding up a sign with her name on it. “Mrs. Maxwell?” She asked. When Carol nodded her head, the woman directed them to a ground level door that opened onto the tarmac. “I’m Paula Dornier, I’m the co-pilot tonight.” Paula helped with the luggage, and led the way to an Embraer charter jet. Carol could not fathom how Leo had made the reservations; it wasn’t like him to spend money extravagantly. Not that she wasn’t grateful, she was. Paula, the co-pilot helped them board while the pilot loaded the luggage into a small cargo compartment. Paula told her, “This is Todd, the pilot tonight. We flipped a coin and I lost, so I’ll double as the flight attendant,” Todd laughed as he followed them up the stairs.

“Ahhhh, poor baby,” he said. Chuckling, he turned to Carol, “It’s not like it’s a big job, handing out cokes, cookies, and peanuts,” he said. “We take turns being pilot and stewardess,” he ducked into the cockpit as Paula tossed a pillow at him.

She helped Carol and the kids strap in. The pilot, Todd, a twenty-something blond Adonis, called out to her from the cockpit, “We’ll be taking off in about 20 minutes, the flight time to Beverly Massachusetts should be about 3  ½ hours. The weather’s good, so we shouldn’t have much turbulence. If there’s anything you need, please let me or Paula know.” The kids thought it was cool; there was a whole plane just for them. Each of them had a window seat. Soon the plane took off, climbing to its cruising altitude; the stars were bright in the night sky, rivaling the lights of the city below.

Carol relaxed. John wouldn’t find them now. She wasn’t sure exactly what Leo was doing, but Carol trusted him. Carol should have left John long ago, but the financial security, the house; all were hard for her to give up. Carol had once thought she’d done well marrying him. She knew she wasn’t the smartest person in Eden Prairie. She had done well in school, but John wouldn’t let her go to college. There were lots of things John didn’t want her to do. She would have loved to join the PTA, but John didn’t like her being gone in the evenings; John was a Mason, she would have loved joining the Order of the Eastern Star, but John didn’t want her to do that. It seemed that John always wanted her at home — and dependent on him.

So she had stayed home, kept the house, raised the kids, and prayed he wouldn’t be too angry with her. She thought she’d done a good job.

Carol knew John manipulated her but felt there was little she could do. John was friends with everyone that mattered in Eden Prairie; no one would have believed her — well except Leo. Carol smiled to herself. John and Leo, Carol and Pam had all gone to school together. Then Pam and Leo got married, so it seemed natural that she and John would also marry. The four remained friends. Carol’s parent’s died a year after they were wed; the police said it was an automobile accident and she wanted to believe it. It came as a surprise to find out how much money she received from insurance policies. Policies Carol knew they could never have afforded. The insurance, the money from the sale of the family farm, all provided more than enough for John to go to Law School. After that, Pam was the only friend John allowed her. Pam and Leo never had any kids, So Leo and Pam had doted on her babies. When the babies were christened it was Pam and Leo who were the God parents. Pam had been the only friend John had allowed. She missed Pam. Pam knew about the beatings. Pam had suggested she leave John. Two years ago Pam had passed away from uterine cancer. When she had died Carol was left all alone.

Carol had tried hard to keep John happy. She did everything his way. In bed he never seemed satisfied. She didn’t like a lot of the things he made her do; still, she did everything he asked. Even making love, he demanded it his way, even if he’d known he was hurting her. It didn’t matter to him. John had to be in control of everything. No matter what she did, it was never enough. She would follow his demands, day in and day out. Sometimes the tension was palpable. But there always came a point when John would snap; he would beat her. Afterwards, John would be at peace, sometimes even asking forgiveness. Those were the good times. The house would be at peace. John often gave her presents as a way of saying he was sorry. For a time things would be calmer, then the cycle began again. She knew it wasn’t right, she couldn’t help but wonder if somehow, she had done something wrong. After all, every time he beat her he told her it was to “teach her a lesson.” And when he was done, he was at his nicest. It didn’t make any sense. Well, now the die was cast. She had left. He didn’t know where she was, and she would just as soon it stayed that way! Carol snuggled into her seat, pulled the covers up, and wept silently to herself.

She hoped Leo knew what he was doing.

Steven’s Hall. Massachusetts, 2300 Hours.

Kate slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the events taking place around her, events that would shape her life in the days to come.

Steven’s Hall, Massachusetts Thursday, December 27, 1991

I woke up pissed to a fare thee well with everyone and everything, though I didn't know why. I got up, showered, then dressed, in light weight pants and a shirt, then I pulled on my coverall. My gun belt had everything in it, except my pistol, but I strapped it on anyway, swearing under my breath. Taking the closet elevator I went straight to the Armory. It opened to my hand on the sensor lock. I wasn’t sure what was going on, all I remembered was something Andy called “Alamo.” I remembered Linda and I getting dressed in the coveralls and taking Linda to the range for a gun and gun belt. My gun was sitting on a counter. When I checked, everything else on my belt was in its correct place. I ejected the magazine, and cleared the action. Putting the extracted bullet back into the magazine, and the magazine into the pistol. Looking around, I grabbed a Motorola radio labeled for on-estate communications. There was a wireless earpiece for the radio, this I placed in my right ear, and turned the radio on. There was way too much traffic. That meant Alamo was still in place, and extra patrols were being conducted.

Next stop, the infirmary. Someone had jabbed me with a needle and injected something. Hopefully Tom would know what it was. There was no one there. Lifting the phone I dialed Tom and Meri’s suite, and when Meri answered asked for Tom. Trying to be patient, I still made it abundantly clear if Tom wasn’t in the infirmary within 10 minutes I was going to really be pissed. My tone of voice brooked no argument. I guess he first called Sheila to let her know where I was.

Sheila beat Tom to the infirmary, but only because she was already up. Theoretically Sheila was guarding me from her station outside the Master suite doors.

“Hi Kate,” Sheila smiled trying to be as friendly as possible.

“Don’t you even think of trying that ‘Hi Kate’ on me; you turncoat. I thought you were my friend. You promised me. Some friend; you let them drug me without the courtesy of at least asking. Or giving me a warning. I’ve a bruise the size of a baseball where my so called doctor jabbed me with God knows what.”

“That would be me, you highness. Damn it Kate you were spazzing out and the only way to keep you from doing damage to yourself was to give you something to calm you down. I asked nice. I was going to give you a little, not even your regular dose of Ativan, but NO your Mightiness, You were off and running and nothing would stop you! You gave me no choice.

“That’s not how I remember it,” I snarled.

“Then ask your mom, or poor Simon who was crying because to help you he had to watch me whack you out harder than I wanted. Hal and Andy are NOT happy with me because you wound up sleeping all day and all night. AND Miss Priss that meant Meri and I haven’t been asleep because WE had to monitor YOU to make sure you didn’t stop breathing. Now you owe Sheila an apology, then I want you to give her your gun belt to I can kiss your boo-boo and make it better.

Shamefaced I looked to Sheila. “Was I really that bad?”

“Kate, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Can you forgive me?”

In answer Sheila pulled me into a hug. “Forgiven, forgotten.”

Much subdued, I let Sheila take the gun belt and entered the infirmary. “But don’t you dare think you’re going to kiss my boo-boo.”

Tom waggled his eyebrows at me, till Meri smacked him lightly on his arm, “careful who you go making eyes at you Lothario,” she said.

Tom put a Band-Aid on the injection site. “Kate, I really would like you mellowed out today, how about a half dose of Ativan to start?”

“Whatever you think best Tom,”

Tom prepared the shot.

“By the way, what was it that started everything yesterday? All I remember is taking Linda to the range?”

“Uh, Kate, could you let Hal or Andy answer that? They really know the details better than I,” he said while surreptitiously giving Kate her normal dose - and a bit more.

I pulled my clothes back on, and took back the gun belt from Sheila.

Kate started to argue, but decided to wait on Hal, or Andy. “Sheila, do you know where Hal is?”

“Hal is in the office, would you like some breakfast first, or should I have it brought to the office?”

“In the office please. Sheila, have you had breakfast?

“Just finished, thanks,” Sheila answered. Leading the way upstairs to the office, she took her place at the door.

Inside, Hal, Andy and Simon in the office, with two other people I didn’t know. Whoever they were, their eyes got real big, I assume at the sight of me wearing a gun, and other implements of destruction.

Hal rose from his desk, walked over and kissed me. “Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“I suppose. I’ve seen Tom, he’s given me some Ativan. Now, what the hell is going on?”

“Do you remember anything from yesterday?”

“Not really. Something about asking Mom for ‘smores, that and… Oh damn, Maxwell made bail?”

“Yes Kate,” Andy answered.

“Kate,” Hal interrupted as I started to ask for more information. “We have visitors who have been kind enough to join us. This is Leo Sweeney, John Maxwell’s attorney, and Carol Maxwell, who is seeking asylum from her husband John.”

Well THAT was a surprise. I’m sure I looked shocked. “Uh hmm maybe I better sit down while you explain what’s happened.”

The man was Leo Sweeney, and the woman, he said, was Carol Maxwell, who started to cry and turned to Leo “I knew this was too good to be true. I better get back to the house before John does. Maybe he won’t know I was gone.” She turned to me, and the bruises on her face were all too apparent, and way too familiar. “Please Mrs. Maxwell, don’t go, come and sit down. I think we have more in common than either of us would want others to know about.”

Reluctantly, as though she thought someone (me?) might bite, she came and sat down close to me. Searching my face as though looking for something she finally relaxed, slumping into the chair. It seemed to me as though she just wilted, folding in upon herself. Then, she began sobbing. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know what John was doing. Anytime I asked where he was going he’d beat me.”

I turned to Hal, “Love, why don’t you and the men give us some privacy. Hal closed the door giving us a bit of privacy.

“Shush,” moving closer to Carol, I tried to pull her into a hug.

Through sobs, Carol gasped out, “why are you being so nice? I’m the reason he hurt you. If I’d known more…”

“Carol, if you’d known more, you’d probably be dead. You know he’s said he’ll kill me, and Linda?”

Her eyes went wide. “Mrs. Steven’s, then maybe he wouldn’t have been able to hurt you.”

“Please call me Kate. But if he’d killed you, I wouldn’t have thought to reach out to other women who’ve been hurt.”

“Is, is it true? Did he really hurt you?”

It took every ounce of will to answer without sobbing myself. “If you mean did he rape me?”

Carol nodded her head yes.

“Yes he did. Then he beat me, calling me horrible names and telling me if I told anyone he’d find me and kill me, and my absolutely best friend in life, who was on the cruise with me.”

“Oh my God. John has done that to me before. I finally left because Leo said you’d protect me.”

After that, she was back to sobbing, which was enough to cause me to start crying. “That bastard will never touch me, or you again.”

This time when offered a hug, Carol willingly accepted it. “How can you be so nice? It’s all my fault,” she cried.

“Carol, you’re not going to believe me, but it’s not your fault. Would you be willing to talk to a friend of mine? She’s the only reason I’m able to function at all. After John left, after he hurt me, I tried to kill myself.”

Carol’s eyes got huge.

“The doctor’s kept me sedated, when Hal found out what happened he flew into the Grand Cayman Islands, picked me up, and had me medevac’d home while still unconscious. I didn’t want to live, and I felt so unclean. I’m lucky. Cendar flew my Mom and My brother out, then made sure John Maxwell was charged with all the crimes he had committed. I was told, a couple of days ago, that I wasn’t the first woman he raped. He has been, or will be, charged with additional crimes as soon as the FBI is done investigating.”

Vikki knocked at the door, then brought breakfast in for me.

“Carol, have you eaten?”

“Yes, the children and I had breakfast a while ago.”

“Children?” I asked, with my first smile of the day.

“Trevor, Siobahn, and Maev. All twelve years old, fraternal triplets.”

“Oh wow! You’ve got to introduce me to them.”

“The two girls are into faeries, Trevor likes any fiction except faeries.” All three have tested out of high school reading classes.

“You must be so proud of them. Perhaps when you talk to Dr. Saul, they could talk to Dr. Norma

Ledbetter. She is really good with kids, and I suspect they have as many issues as you.”

“But how would I pay for it?”

“Carol, for the time you are here, at least until John is convicted and sent away, your money is no good. John, Linda, and I have far more than we could ever possibly spend. Let us do this for you. And who knows, with the pressure off I’m willing to bet you’ve at least one man who loves you.” I smiled at the emotions that chased across her face.

How would you feel if Trevor roomed with my son, Tim? That would give the girls a little privacy.

“Don’t you think you son will object?”

“Actually, I think he’ll enjoy have another guy around.”

Which brings up a touchy subject. Let’s call the men back in. Leo needs to hear this too.

I called out, “Sheila!”

The door opened immediately, “Yes Kate?”

“Do you think you can find the hormonally challenged and have them join Carol and me?”

“Certainly, oh, and remember Norma will be by this afternoon, and probably Jane to talk over the shelter facilities.”

“Oh farf! Thank you Sheila. I appreciate the heads up.”

Sheila shut the door, leaving us alone again. “I would have looked for them myself, but your husband hurt me badly enough I try not to walk too much. So, Sheila and her partner Pat are my bodyguards, and just about everything else you can imagine. My normal assistant is Annie, well she’s also my daughter. You’ll meet her later today. Annie is working with my other daughter Lisa. We’re having a medieval theme party next week, and Annie’s going to love making a court gown for you. Uh… did you and the kid’s bring enough clothes? Annie and I are partners in a venture “Gowns R Us.” She also makes most of my clothes, says it helps her refine the software for plus sized women.”

“I’m sure I’ve enough clothes for now. Leo said to pack light, so I did. But I’m sure there has to be Sears, or Penney’s close by.

“Well, we’ll see. Once Annie’s measured you it’s really no trouble at all. Just change the fabric as needed, insert the right buttons or zippers and voila! All done.

Hal, Andy, and Leo could not have been far, they knocked and walked on in.

“I’ve been getting to know Carol, and I think she is the perfect candidate for the project we were discussing yesterday.

Andy and Hal looked at each other and gave a “whatever the crazy lady wants,” kind of look.

“Leo, Carol, you have, by right, a need to know more about me than any of us are comfortable with sharing. The reason is very simple. Some things may come out at your husband’s trial, if he ever comes to trial.”

“I am the twin of Hal’s first wife, Kathryn Elaine Stevens. All the required paperwork has been taken care of; filings with the SEC, the Massachusetts General Court, The New Hampshire Superior Court, and the Federal Court in Boston, among other placess. Now, this would be confusing if the first Kate and I had been identical twins. We’re not. In fact, we are not related to each other at all. What we share includes how we deal with other people, our looks, our intimate and extensive knowledge of computer systems, and a number of hobbies.”

“It is not generally known, Kate Stevens died in the World Trade Center on September 11. Accidentally, Hal found me at the Comdex computer trade show. Since then, I’ve been living as Kate. That all changed yesterday. As of yesterday, I am Kathryn Elaine Stevens, now and forevermore.”

“One more piece of information you deserve to know. I was born male. I was/am married to the same woman for the past 25 years. Neither my wife, Linda, nor my husband, Hal has trouble sharing me. I made my status part of the public record when the Federal Prosecutor and the FBI took my sworn statement regarding what John Maxwell did to me.”

“I am a woman. No less than two doctors and my therapist all agree on that point.”

“Carol, I don’t normally wear a gun belt, the last I’ve heard the estate is in lockdown. One of the things I’ve been in the past is I was a police officer. I know how to use a gun. We’re afraid John is on his way here.”

Hal decided to break in to the conversation. “Mrs. Maxwell. The estate has multiple layers of defense. First on the perimeter, next on the open ground. The roads on and off the estate are closed to all traffic — except when carrying photo ID cards, and then they are checked for access. There are 10 two-man teams patrolling the grounds. Additionally, Steven’s Hall has two sniper teams on the roof, and a 10 man reaction force. We have our own trauma doctor/nurse on site, and two helicopter’s, one set up for medevac.”

“There is also a safe room you will have access to. Believe me, if it can be done, it has been down to keep Kate, and you Carol, and all the kids, safe.”

Simon chose to enter at that time. He walked across the office straight to me, knelt and kissed my hand. “My Lady, I’ve had a small breakthrough locating John Maxwell. He has been using identification and credit cards belonging to “Charles Downey.”

“Charles Downey, deceased, was his partner for several years. The credit cards and bank records have continued to be used. The picture on the Charles Downey driver’s license is, without doubt, John Maxwell. I’ve been able to track Maxwell to the Orlando, Florida airport. He apparently purchased a ticked to Great Britain using Mr. Sweeney’s credit card. He did NOT get on the aircraft. Instead his ticket was used by a much shorter man. This must be considered a ruse. Another purchase was for a Greyhound Bus Line “Ameripass” ticket. There was no security tape showing Mr. Maxwell. I will continue to search for him your Grace.” Simon rose, gave a small bow to me, then a smaller one to Hal. Simon then went back to wherever he was doing his research.

“Your Grace?” Hal started chuckling.

“My Lady?” Andy asked, grinning.

“Hey you two, Simon’s British and takes this very, very seriously. Not even considering he has single-handedly turned up more information on John Maxwell than our vaunted security services.

Carol giggled, “Is he always like that? I think it’s kind of cute.”

Looking to the heaven’s I replied, “Carol, please, that’s all I would need. Simon thinking himself “cute” would just be so wrong on so many different levels. Not that I would DISAGREE, mind you, but Simon already has an inflated sense of self-worth.” Then I spoiled it all by giggling.

“So, Carol, you and Leo and the kids are in your new home.”

“Mrs. Steven’s, we can’t impose on your hospitality.”

“Who’s imposing? Have you seen the size of this place? Not to even mention food. You’ll be doing the kitchen staff a favor. They call and ask what I’d like to eat? I can FEEL them shudder, even on the telephone, when I ask for Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup with a fried Spam sandwich on toasted whole-wheat bread. They LIVE for a chance to be creative. Besides, with the number of people who are already here you five are just the proverbial drop in the bucket. The kitchen is actually open 24 hours a day. They feed the night crews, and the police officers on duty (and a number of on-duty officers from the surrounding towns).”

“Please let me do this for you. The thought of that monster getting his hands on you scares me to death! Just sit back and enjoy. If you absolutely have to do something ask Vikki in the kitchen if you can help?”

“Mrs. Steven’s, thank you for your kind offer, but we really should stay in a motel somewhere,” Leo stated.

“Leo, call me Beth. If I can give you three reasons, reasons you can’t possibly refute, will you give up on this quixotic desire to stay where John can get to you?”

“Beth, yes, if you can give me three valid reasons.”

“Boy are you going to feel dumb:

1 Siobahn,

2 Maev

3 Trevor

Proving he does have a sense of humor Andy spoke up. “I believe that’s game, set, and match. The winner is Kate!”

“Thank you Kate. You’re right, I don’t have an answer to those three reasons.”

“Sheila!”

“Yes Kate?”

“Could you round up the Maxwell Children, Tim, and Lisa? And if you could, see if Jose is working with the horses?”

“I would be happy too.”

“Kate, what’s that devious mind of yours plotting this time?”

“Not much, just trying to get the children off on the right foot.”

The phone rang. “Hello? Oh Jose, Lisa’s told me so much about you, all of it good. Thank you for making her clean her tack before she went to dinner the other day. The reason I called, is to see if you know of some well-behaved saddle horses we might be able to buy? I’d love to have Morgans, but the important thing is do we have enough stalls? There’s twelve stalls? That’s great. Could you see if you can fill those stalls today? If you need more help, go ahead and hire a stable hand. Well-mannered and behaved horses. Yes, exactly. Also we’ll need saddles and tack. Nothing overly fancy, just good working saddles. We might want a couple of the horses to be a bit bigger to pull duty with the guard force. Yes, four sets of saddle bags and gun scabbards. Thank you Jose. I’ll leave it in your hands. Oh, would you like to take Lisa along? She seems to be becoming quite a horsewoman. Great! I’ll send her to the barn. Bye!”

“My guess is your kid’s will love riding a horse. There’s some other girl’s staying with us and I wanted to be sure we had enough to go around.”

“Kate, what else is in that head of yours?”

“You know Jane wants me to help with the Girl Scouts. This gives enough horses to do sleepovers here in the springtime, riding all day, campfires, sleeping under the stars (with extra security to be certain the girls are safe) you know, just the normal sorts of things I do. Argh, I forgot riding helmets.”

“Kate, Jose has been with us long enough to know what all to get.”

“Speaking of which,” I looked up as Lisa and the two girls walked in. “Lisa, could you share your room with Siobhan, and Maev? We can get a big trundle bed, so you wouldn’t have to share your bed.”

“Momma, what were you talking to Jose about when we were walking in?

“Well, I know we’d talked about getting you a horse of your own. I just decided to buy enough horses to fill the stalls. That way Jane can bring 10 girls at a time for horseback riding. I figured you should go along to help select the horses. I told Jose I’d prefer Morgans. He’s waiting for you in the barn, so get moving! Oh, be sure to get sets of grooming tools for each horse, and helmets, don’t forget the helmets.”

“Mom, can the girl’s come with us? I’ll make sure they’re safe.”

“Carol, it’s your decision.”

Carol looked at Leo, who gave her the briefest of nods. “They’ll be safe?”

“Yes Mrs. Maxwell,” Lisa answered.

“Sure, why not!”

“Momma, you ARE the BEST. Yes, you can put a trundle bed in, I’ve always wanted a little sister! Now I’ve got two!!”

I took Lisa aside, “when you get helmets, if there’s other colors the Maxwell children want, just go ahead and get it. In fact, anything they need, just get it. Why don’t you get my platinum card from my purse? Don’t go crazy, but spend whatever you think best. Can I trust you with that?”

“Yes Momma, may I get them riding clothes too!”

“That’s fine sweetheart. Just remember those kids have had one hell of a time with their bastard father that raped me. Why don’t you take your car and follow Jose. That way you can stop at the mall and get the girls some clothes, at least enough for a week. I WILL do what is in my power for them. Just don’t spoil them too much.” Lisa gave me a hug and kiss, bundled up the girls and took off for the barn.

“Well Carol, that’s two down, one to go. I’m going to ask Tim if we can stack a bed on top and make bunk beds.

“I heard that Momma,” Tim answered, if Hermione can do it that would be fine. Do you think we can get Trevor his own computer?”

“Tim call Mrs. Hermione and ask her. I’m sure she’ll get whatever you need. After you do that, why don’t you go show Trevor around the estate? Don’t worry about the extra officers on the estate, they’re conducting exercise “Alamo.”

“Kate, how can you spend so much money on someone you don’t know?” Carol asked.

“Carol, everything I’ve done has at least two reasons. Tim and Trevor for instance. We’ve lots of girls staying with us for a while. This way Tim and Trevor can hang out. Then the bunk beds, we’ve a full time (sort of) interior designer. She loves doing things. Hermione (and she doesn’t like shortened forms of her name) has been working on a Midwinter’s Eve party for Lisa. She’ll LOVE to get away from that even if it’s just for a few minutes. And computers? I know we’ve several in storage. So, all it takes is a little time from two or three people and voila! Bunk beds. Then for instance, the horses. To set up a horsemanship program it takes months of work. This way we’ve enough horses for all the girls who want to ride them. We’ve another dozen young ladies arriving Saturday. By having Lisa’s room filled, there won’t be any jealousy on who gets to stay where. Additionally, I’m hoping your daughter’s are adopted as little sisters. That has numerous benefits. Trevor, bunking with Tim gets him some “guy time.” So you see. While it appears I’m spending beaucoup money just for your girls, I’m also doing something that facilitates some long range plans. Jane is going to LOVE it!”

Hal came over and kissed me, “as always, your mind is thinking several steps ahead of us mere mortals.”

“And don’t you forget it bub!”

Not willing to leave well enough alone, Andy told our two guests “The Jane she keeps referring to is her Excellency, Governor Jane Wells of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

“Don’t let him scare you, we’re on the Massachusetts Girl Scout Council together. We’re planning on a couple of sleepovers in the spring. So you see, you really aren’t imposing at all.” I smiled at the two. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jane shows up unannounced sometime this week. I know she’s invited for the Midwinter’s Eve festival.

I lowered my voice so only Carol could hear, “Besides, I know what you’ve been through. I will spend anything helping you and your children if it can help make things better.”

Carol pulled me into a hug. “I don’t know why, or how, God brought us here, but thank you Kate, thank you very much.

“Hey, I forgot to ask. Where’s Linda?”

“She had a long, long, night. She, Meri, and Annie are using the outdoor sauna. You might notice the hole in the ice of the swimming pool. They plan on getting good and steamed then jump in the water.”

“Brrrrrr…” That’s not for me!” I told everyone.

Carol stepped closer, “Me either. I’d be perfectly frozen.

“If you want, there’s a pool indoors, it’s on the far side of the Atrium. There’s a large supply of new swimming suits in the locker room. I’m sure you’ll find one you like that fits.

“Would you like a tour of the house?”

Carol fearfully looked at Leo, then smiled, “Yes please.”

We started in the dining Hall, which was seriously looking like something out of a medieval manor. Tapestry’s on the walls, along with shields and crossed swords. There were even a couple of suits of armor.

“One of Lisa’s favorite dreams is to have a party for her friends in the Society of Creative Anachronisms. Annie has a prototype machine here in the hall, it’s computer controlled and will assemble any costume, to a person’s size without the bother of sewing machines and patterns. I understand the Young ladies, Tim, Hal and I will be wearing Italian Court Dress. You can expect Annie to measure you sometime later today, probably the same time she measures Trevor and the girls. With such pretty Celtic names maybe Annie can program Celtic costumes of the period."

“Through here is the gallery. There are some rather expensive pieces, but my favorite one is this.” I was standing in front of Kate’s portrait with Becky and Tracy. “This is my twin and her babies. The babies died in a car accident, the victims of a drunk driver. Kate died in the World Trade Center. There’s nearly an identical picture hanging in the Children’s Hospital. The biggest difference is that one also shows Annie and her Mother. Her mother died in the same crash that killed Becky and Tracey. The plaque on the Children’s Hospital version is titled “Love Never Fails.””

“This is a peaceful place. I often come here to think. Another peaceful place is the Atrium. There are a number of plants and birds that could not survive in this climate without careful climate control and lights that provide 12 hours of light. The lights turn on about 5:00 am. So no one is really disturbed. Generally, I eat breakfast here in the morning.”

“From here, you can see the swimming pool. It’s kept a toasty 76 degrees. I hope your kids can swim. The shallow end is 4’ and the deep end is 15’ deep. The water helps moderate the temperature of the Atrium.”

Through this end is the showers, and locker rooms. As you can see on the rack, we keep a broad range of sizes, in both one piece and two-piece swimwear. The only thing we ask is that you give the tag to our head chef Vikki. She’ll order another. Oh, and if you use the swimsuit, it’s yours (I said with a big smile). I know some women are very fastidious about that, and we aim to please. Over here is a half-size basketball court, and on the other side of the glass wall at the end of the room is a full set of weight training equipment. And through here is the nerve center of the whole estate.” I said that loud enough that Vikki could hear me. Good morning Kate, Good morning Carol. Can I get anything for either of you?”

Vikki, I’d like a large coffee with sweetener and cream. A shot of caramel, and whipped cream on top. Carol, what would you like? Vikki could teach the baristas at that nationwide coffee company.

“Maybe just coffee, light and sweet.”

“Vikki, did the Jamaican Blue Mountain come in?

“It sure did Beth. I roasted a small batch this morning. Would you like some?”

“Please, for both of us. Yum!!”

“One of the things about my twin I’ve learned to love is coffee. Coffee used to be "ugh coffee, blech." I found out there is a wide range of types and flavors. The Jamaican Blue is arguably the best. It’s a delicate coffee that packs a caffeinated punch. I like it with the added sweetness of the caramel. That of course means I can only have it once a week. I have to watch my weight (frown).

In the time it took to say all that Vikki had both cups ready. Carol asked what was the menu for the day.

“We’ll be using up the turkey and ham from Christmas. Several different salads, mashed potatoes with gravy, and German Chocolate Cake. Warning, don’t get between Kate and her chocolate!”

Everyone in the kitchen laughed, me included.

“Let’s go up to the second floor, I assume that’s where you’re staying?”

The elevator, then went up one floor. Not a lot to see here. It’s mostly bedrooms. Mine is at the end of the hall. Either Pat, or Sheila will be on duty there if I’m in the bedroom. They were to have protected me on the cruise. No one thought I’d be assaulted just going to change shoes.

“Afterwards, they begged me to let them be permanently assigned to me. They promised “Never Again!”

“Let’s go through the bedroom.” I opened my security vault for weapons and hung my gun belt, and took off the coverall and combat boots. I stepped into a pair of flats, and brushed my hair out a bit.

Carol stared at my bruises. “Kate, I’m so sorry, you say I’m wrong but I can’t help feel like I let you down.”

I knew there was nothing I could say to her, so instead I pulled her into a hug. “I’ll get better, and SO WILL YOU, I promise. You are not responsible for John. PERIOD.

“That’s better. Hal is paranoid about any of our employees being hurt. It happened a few years ago, and Hal went nuts. Safe rooms, estate monitoring equipment, and even code word responses to potential threats. “Alamo” “called for “forting up” the estate. Extra police officers. All access roads have barriers and officers to stop unauthorized people and vehicles from coming on the estate. He even has two helicopters parked on the estate. One has an armored Humvee pre-loaded in a sling. Just over the border in New Hampshire there is an even more secure site. That one pays for itself. We sell long term secure climate controlled storage. And a local mushroom grower takes up a lot of space. Our site controls our worldwide communications and provides beds for 500 with food for a month. Redundant water supplies, air conditioners, air scrubbers, generators, entertainment, a chapel, a hospital, virtually everything you’d need for a month or two. Now THAT’s typical Hal. Blast a tunnel to the center of a granite mountain, install his doomsday facility, then find ways to make it pay for itself. NORAD should have it so good! At least we’ve got Vikki!!”

“Where in the world did you find her?”

“She was the executive chef at Copley Plaza. She wanted to slow down some, and Hal just kept adding zeros till she smiled and shook hands with him. She gave 30 days’ notice, moved into one of the Guest houses with her husband. Her commute is less than 100 yards by heated tunnel.”

“Her husband George retired to the estate where he works as the game keeper. We’ve enough land to qualify for our own warden. George takes a class or two a year then stops all hunting on the estate. Hunting occurs only when the herds, or flocks get too big. The three little lakes are stocked each year. The venison is dressed and served at dinner. Nothing goes to waste. Vikki even makes her own sausage that is to die for. We could run a few pigs and cows, and chickens but no one really wants to clean the animals, hang it and age it, then package it. With kids here almost all the time now that wouldn't go over very well. The only animal actively hunted on a regular basis are coyotes. They’ll kill and eat anything, including dogs and cats.”

“We even get brown bear occasionally. Unfortunately, they’re a nuisance. We let them alone for one year. If they’re still here the next year we either move or harvest them. All of the larger animals are tagged and tracked. Oh, the other animal that’s shoot on sight is mountain lion. They’ve really made a comeback. Enough so they are a menace to people. We try to trap them for a week or two, then George goes after them. Sad really, before man came everything was balanced. So now we have too many or not enough animals.”

“Oh, the game room is also on the second floor.”

“Let’s go up to the third floor now. Again, it’s mostly bedrooms, but it has a large conference room that double as a ballroom. And at this end is a theatre that seats 50 people. I don’t know how Hal does it, but we get advance copies of most of the new movies.

One more floor up, and one more down. So let’s do the top floor. We’ve a full-size basketball court, and an observatory. Around the edge is a running circuit, though we call it our “Widow’s Walk” in deference to the New England fishing and whaling history. From here you can also see the tree house. Hal had the bright idea that Tracy and Becky would enjoy playing in it.

Afterwards, it became a lookout post for security. Hopefully with the kid’s here it will get used the way it was designed.

Let’s take the elevator down to the basement. You really have to see it. The ride from the roof to the first floor took about the expected time, it took almost as long to descend from the first floor to the basement.

“This place is huge! Along the first corridor we have part of the emergency shelters, emergency power, the networking center, and our own three room hospital. One of Cendar’s new technology initiatives is developing a program, and the hardware to support it, that would provide 98%+ of a physician’s normal office services. Ideally, a trained nurse, or technician should be able to provide medical services in remote areas of the world. We’ve signed letters of intent from the World Health Organization for an initial order of 10,000 units.

Hal has always tried to provide services for our employees. The on-site medical unit is staffed by Cendar physicians. We pay their way through Medical school, and they work 6 years for us — at very competitive salaries. Currently we have Dr. Tom, and Nurse Meri working in house. The just got engaged. Across the hall is a large woodshop, metalworking shop, and craft area. On the corner is our salon/spa. It’s only staffed one day a week right now. We may have to increase that for the next week or so. The corridor around the hall provides access to our gun range. I don’t know how you feel about guns, but safety is the absolute watchword around here. Hal likes to shoot. I used to be a police officer, well actually I suppose I still am. I enjoy shooting. Don’t feel pressured to join us. I will say someone who is trained has a much better survival rate than someone who isn’t armed.

“So, how are you doing? Need a break or do you want to continue the tour?”

“This is fascinating Kate, I’d love to see more.”

“Well, step over this way.” I placed my palm against the reader and opened the tunnel. “A few years ago, an executive, with our company and close friend of Hal was kidnapped with his wife. Eventually they were murdered. The FBI said if they’d had a little training they would have survived their ordeal. Hal vowed it would not happen again. He was, at the time, doing a major renovation of Steven’s hall.

“Hal incorporated safe rooms, and a tunnel system to the outlying buildings. No matter what the weather, we can get just about anywhere on the estate with ease.” We took the right turn and continued on to the garage. “One of the nicest features is not having to get wet when it’s raining or snowing. Usually, all personal vehicles, and some estate vehicles fit in here. Let’s go downstairs.”

It was daytime, so I expected the lights to be on. “Welcome to the farm!” I said to Carol.

We’ve photovoltaic cells on the roof of the barn and garage. We store enough electricity to power the full spectrum lights to the “farm.” This way we have some “farm-fresh” produce all year round, and around the edge, we’ve roses. By jiggering with the lights we can get “in-season” produce all year long.”

“Well, that’s pretty much all of the estate, except for some emergency equipment and private homes. Would you go outside to get back to the main hall, or take the tunnels?”

“I can’t quite believe all this exists and no one knows about it.”

“Well, that’s the way a lot of emergency equipment/facilities are. Unless you have to know no one pays any attention to it.”

“Maybe so, but this is stupendous! How far underground are we now?”

“Right here? I’m not certain. Generally speaking there’s about thirty-five feet of rock over our heads. There’s a lot more I haven’t shown you, you’ll probably never even need to know they exist. All you really need to know is you are safe here. Hal and I will be certain you stay safe.”

Carol’s eyes started to fill with tears. She pulled me into a hug. “Thank you Kate. I’m not penniless. John had some diamonds in the house safe, along with a bunch of gold coins, some cash, and some bearer bonds. He doesn’t know I had the combination memorized. I took all that with me along with my jewelry and John’s watches.” Carol smiled wistfully; “I have to admit, John has good taste in jewelry. Most of mine was given the day after he beat me. As if THAT would make it all better.”

“Carol, this is going to sound crazy. We are in the process of purchasing or building apartments for the victims of spousal abuse. I think I’d like you to be our first on-site manager.”

==============================

Carol and I went back to the office. Hal took one look at me and started to smile. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’ve seen that look before.”

“Hon, is the Jacobs estate just to the West of us still up for sale?”

“I think so, they’ve been having trouble selling with the old rock quarry that’s on the grounds. What are you thinking of?”

“If I remember the layout, the main house could be divided up into at least six apartments. If we get to work on that, we could seal it off from the road, and cut a road through from here. Then we expand our perimeter defenses giving us the security we’ve all agreed is necessary. You’ve also been complaining the three guest houses aren’t connected to the tunnels. If we do it all we could run a tunnel to the Jacob’s estate main house, maybe one or two of the out buildings. I’ve even got the perfect manager for it!”

Hal stood there, waiting for me to finish my presentation. I just gave him a mind-numbing smile.

“Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to play twenty-questions. Or are you going to finally realize you ALWAYS make the correct staffing decisions?”

“You’re no fun. I was thinking of Carol. If we hire her now, she can learn from the ground up. If she needs some training, or extra staffing, we’ll get it. I see this as a win-win-win decision. We win, Carol wins, and Jane’s Place wins. We can open Jane’s place in a couple of months instead of 12 to 14 months we’ve planned.”

“Okay, suppose I say yes, how do we afford it? That’s a lot of money to come up with.”

“My division has the diagnostics ready for my FDA presentation in February, and the WHO in March. That’s $20,000,000 over cost for the first WHO order. I see a rapid expansion on our security services in the aftermath of the World Trade Center. We can use the rock quarry and woods for team building/training. All of that is in addition to our core business. Then there’s the expansion of Gowns R Us. Initial sales have been phenomenal. With the expansion into the maquiladora corridor, we will be set to tool up to start making real inroads into the Haute Couture markets. Total profits from these three profit centers will easily pay the expansion of the estate and the required construction. I want to repeat, these are all in addition to our core competencies and businesses.”

Leo turned to Hal. “Does she often do that?”

“Not often enough, but you can bet she’s right when she does. Kate, I’m sold. You want to deal with the realtor’s or should I?”

“Hmmm better be me. You’d just get all chauvinistic and give too much away. Why don’t you see about a TBM to cut the tunnel? You know how far in advanced they’re booked. We can use the rubble to partially fill in the rock quarry.

“Well Carol, you ready to get to work?” I asked my newest employee.

“You were serious?”

“About business, always!”

“Let’s go use the upstairs office. Hey, Leo, you want to do the paperwork? I’m sure you’re losing money while you’re here. What’s your hourly rate?”

Hal just laughed. “Leo, welcome to hurricane Kate.”

“$200 per hour.”

“Nonsense, things are more expensive out here. $100.00 per hour non-billable and $350.00 for billable hours, you’ll be one of five staff attorney’s. Location either here, or in Southern California...”

Leo looked over to Hal, who just laughed. “I never, EVER override one of Kate’s HR decisions. She has NEVER made a mistake. Just be sure she pays for moving you out here, and be sure she allows enough time to pass the bar exam.”

Leo, a dazed look in his eyes meekly followed his new boss upstairs.

When they were gone Hal turned to Andy, “Full background checks on both of them, as quick as you can Andy. Please.”

Upstairs I sat down and called the realtor I knew was handling the Jacob’s estate. “Laura Master’s please. Would you let her know it’s Kate Steven’s on the line?”

“Kate! How can I help you?”

“Laura, are you handling the Jacob’s estate?”

“Ugh, yes I am, why do you ask?”

“Are they still having trouble selling because of the old rock quarry?”

“Well, these things take time.”

“And a ton of money.”

“Well, there is that too.”

“I’m working with Jane Wells on a series of women’s shelters. It occurred to me the main estate house could be renovated for our purposes.”

“Well, you know they are asking 4.5 Million, and are firm on that.”

“Laura, you know it would cost more than it’s worth to bring the estate house up to code.”

“Then why do you want it so much?”

“Who said “so much”?

“Kate, how much? You probably have figures on remediating the quarry. Humor me, we both know you’re going to get what you want. How much will you pay?”

“See, this is why I like working with you Laura. I’ll pay the asking price, minus what it’s going to cost me for remediating the old quarry. So, about $2,200,000. That price is available for the next 48 hours. Call your principals and see if they really want to sell that white elephant. Oh, and for speedy closure, I’ll pay cash, for a quick closing.” You might also mention to your principals it’s going to cost me significantly more than $1,800,000 to clean up that quarry.”

Oh, one last condition. For Tax purposes I need to close this deal before the 31st. If we can do that, I’ll even come up to $2,750,000, if I have to. And Laura, make this happen and you’ll be looking at brokering two or three more properties in the next six months. I understand you have to represent the buyers for the Jacobs property, and I’m not asking for anything underhanded. Just start thinking of two or three properties that set back from the road. One property preferably near a Subway stop. This all needs to be kept confidential, when the shelters are opened, we do NOT want anyone to know. We’re trying to help victims of spousal abuse. It does the women no good if the bastards know where they are at.

“Okay, I understand. And that’s why I like negotiating with you Kate; you’re always straightforward and prepared.”

“Laura, please give me a call before you leave for the day. I’d like to know what progress you’ve made.”

“I’ll call, goodbye Kate”

I turned to Carol and Leo, “that went better than I’d hoped. I think you’ve got your first shelter Carol!”

“Kate, why are you doing this? My husband (she made the word sound like a curse) raped you, and beat you. How can you help me??

“Carol, you’ve done nothing to me. I think I’m a pretty good judge of character. You need a second chance, where John can’t get to you. I need someone to be “House Mom” for a shelter. Who could be better than a survivor of abuse?”

Carol had no answer for the question.

“Kate, I should probably check on the kids. I hope they’re not getting into trouble.”

I laughed. “If they can get in trouble with all the adults in this pile of stone, more power to them. The only thing I’d be worried about would be firearms, and I know they are all either in use, or locked away.”

“How can you stand to be around guns?” Carol raised a question I just know she’d been thinking of since she saw me wearing my gun.

“Carol, guns are just a tool. A dangerous tool, to be sure. It’s been said that “God made man, Samuel Colt made them equal.” There’s a lot of truth to that. I think it really applies to women. Don’t get me wrong, my best friend, Linda does not like guns. She shoots, well enough to hit what she’s aiming at, but she doesn’t like having to do it. She shoots to maintain her proficiency, that’s all.

“All of our security officers are police officers. Most work here one or two shifts a week, and we pay them very, very well. In fact, most of our senior executives are police officer’s, including Hal and I. We maintain that status partly because we are in the private police/private security business. We also do it to give back to the community. Much of the tactical equipment of the police departments around here is donated by Cendar. A couple of small towns have equipment Boston PD envies. So we have commissions from the state and train advanced weapons and tactics at the State Police Training Academy.”

Leo cut in to the conversation. “You mean you are an actual sworn peace officer?”

“Yes, why?”

“You have just cut the legs off of John Maxwell. You say you know the governor? Do you think she would have an arrest warrant issued for attempted murder of a peace officer, rape of the same officer, and interstate flight.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Are there any very graphic pictures of your injuries?”

“Unfortunately yes. I’m beginning to see where you’re going. But interstate flight will not apply till he crosses a state-line.”

“I’ll swear before a judge John has, or will imminently do so. He’s on his way to Eden Prairie, he has to get money to do anything else.”

“Well, let’s see how we can flesh this out a bit…”

-----------------------------

Thursday, December 27, 2001 Massachusetts State House, Press Conference

“Good Evening, my name is Jane Wells, I am the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. With me, from the FBI is Harold Twining, and from the Federal Attorney General’s office, Ruby Chapman. We each have a prepared statement.

“At my direction, the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has issued a criminal complaint against John W. Maxwell. This is the most recent photograph of Mr. Maxwell that we have been able to obtain.

“The allegations against Mr. Maxwell include Assault on a Peace Officer with Intent to Commit Murder, and Assault on a Peace Officer resulting in Great Bodily Harm. His alleged victim is Kathryn Stevens, an instructor of advanced weapons and special tactics at the State Police Training Academy. Ms. Stevens frequently goes into the field with the Boston PD SWAT, State Police SWAT, as well as other smaller departments. Ms. Stevens is also a well-known philanthropist, having most recently endowed a new burn unit at Massachusetts Children’s Hospital. This picture shows Kate being medevac’d on the 19th of December. This next picture shows some of the injuries sustained before, during, and after being raped. Ms. Stevens is also my friend. We work together with the Girl Scouts, and other charitable organizations. Ms. Stevens is, as of today, in good condition, though still very sore, and bruised.”

“Good evening, my name is Harold Twining of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Based on information developed during the course of our investigation of Mr. Maxwell, additional complaints were filed against Mr. Maxwell in the Boston Federal Court. We have also moved to seize all assets of Mr. Maxwell, and his businesses, under the RICO statutes. Additional charges filed today include: loan sharking, money laundering, murder for hire, making a terrorist threat, committing a terrorist act on a vessel which sailed from a US port, and interstate flight to evade prosecution.”

Good evening, my name is Ruby Kincaid, I’m the assistant attorney general of the Boston Federal Court. Based on evidence provided by the FBI Mr. Maxwell’s bail has been revoked. His bond forfeit. Beginning at 4:00 pm today a circular is being faxed to police departments on the path we believe Mr. Maxwell is taking. All departments on a line from Florida to Eden Prairie, Minnesota, to Beverly, Massachusetts are cautioned. Mr. Maxwell is known to be armed and extremely dangerous. I understand the State of Florida is also looking to Indict Mr. Maxwell on a number of charges, including at least 5 additional rapes.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Prepared information packets are available at the back of the hall.

--------------------

Belle of the South Motel, Birmingham, Alabama, Thursday, December 27, 1991

John Maxwell didn’t trust himself to move he was so mad. Somehow that BITCH who’d egged him on had engineered these latest blows. His property, HIS PROPERTY was seized! Inconceivable! Assault a cop with great bodily harm? Bail revoked, and bond forfeit? Maybe Leo was right, maybe he should have stayed in Florida. Wait, Leo! He was always a help. Maybe if he apologized Leo would still represent him.

John pulled the cell-phone out and tried calling Leo. No answer, no message, shit!

Maxwell then tried to call home. At least this time someone answered. “Hello?”

“Who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?”

“This must be Mr. Maxwell?”

“Yeah, you still haven’t answered me!”

“Oh, well Mr. Maxwell this is Roger Guthrie of the FBI. I’d like to thank you for leaving your safe unlocked.”

John Maxwell hung up the phone, in shock. His safe unlocked?

Impossible.

Inconceivable.

 
 
 
It took about 10 minutes for Simon, Andy, and Patrick to get him dressed. He looked like an oversized baby girl in his pink footed one piece hooded sleeper, except his zipped up the back, and locked. Well that and the fact he was handcuffed and manacled.
 
“Well now, isn’t that better? Pastel Pink is definitely you. You are going to Massachusetts. Carol is there with your journal, and your files. I’ve been reading all about your activities. Carol is LIVID that you’ve raped those women. She’s even angrier that you would give her jewelry you stole from those women. I’ll tell you now, IF you see her you better be polite because I KNOW she would gladly cut your very teeny wiene off.”

I pulled my K-bar knife again, and this time I wickedly slashed Maxwell from shoulder to hip.

 
 
Thank you Chelle for your proof reading/editing skills! Of course, any errors are solely mine.
 

Comdex 10
Youze Pays yer Nickel and Youze Takes yer Chance
 
 

------------------------
 
Belle of the South Motel, Birmingham, Alabama, Thursday, December 27, 2001 1400 hours.
 
 
Impossible.

Inconceivable.

And that thing on the TV, intolerable.

Hell, all he did was give that stuck up bitch what she wanted. How could they not see that? She gave him a case of blue balls, and then when he finally shoved it to her she kept moaning, urging him on. Damn, she was such a slut and he climaxed way too soon. The only thing that stopped him from doing her again was she fainted after he slapped her around a little for making him cum too fast.

Bitch

He was going to prison. There was no way he could avoid that. The files in the safe might earn him a one way trip to the death chamber. Oh DAMN!! The jewelry in Carol’s jewelry box. Some of that was from women he had raped or murdered.

And it was all that Bitch’s fault. There was no way he could get close enough to her to really make her pay for all she’d done to him.

The first thing he needed was money. He should still be able to convert his CD’s to his checking account, and then start drawing cash from that account. He should have enough to buy a new identity. First things first. He walked down the street to a used car lot. There he purchased a 1973 green Chevy Nova. The salesman was a bit dubious about taking his VISA card. His frown “turned upside down” when the charge went through.

He drove it off the lot. It seemed to run well, and had good tires. He decided he would start growing a beard and shave his head.

Maxwell got in his car and drove to a local Walmart. He purchased and activated 5 phones with prepaid plans. $50 in prepaid time for each. He’d probably not use that much, but this wasn’t the time to go cheap. He also bought a laptop computer and case, with Microsoft’s Trips and Streets. Finally, the best Magellan GPS he could find.

At least the Downey accounts were still good. Who knows for how long?

The next stop, a numismatic store. He explained he didn’t trust the banks and wanted to start buying precious metals. He told the shop owner he feared a “2000” scenario, and wanted to convert as much of his holdings as he could.

The shop owner, Ian Furbish, was more than happy for the business after Christmas. “How much would you like to invest Mr. Downey?

“Could you handle $1,000,000?” Maxwell asked.

“Certainly, but only about half would be in coin, the other in bullion. The shop owner explained.

Maxwell handed his VISA card in the name of Michael Downey. With a smile he told the shop owner they would probably have him call for authorization.

The shop owner, Ian Furbish, ran the card through the credit terminal. The call for authorization came up on the screen. When the shop owner called, he was asked to give the phone to Mr. Downey. Maxwell took the phone and answered a series of challenge/responses to prove who he was. Maxwell hung up the phone and the credit terminal printed his receipt. $1,005,500.00.

Maxwell scrawled “Downey” on the receipt.

A few minutes later he walked out with a bit over 150 pounds of gold, platinum, and silver. These he put in his trunk.

Maxwell needed clothes. Something other than his usual custom tailored suits; maybe mostly jeans. He stopped in a store he normally avoided like the plague. K-Mart. 30 minutes later he had enough clothes for a week.

He ran into a streak of luck. Another gold and silver store. A few minutes schmoozing, a few minutes complaining about the government, and he had another 150 pounds of precious metal. It joined the rest in the trunk of the car. He figured that would be it. The poor old car couldn’t hold much more.

Maxwell returned to the “Belle of the South” Motel. It was absolutely the sleaziest Motel he’d ever stayed in. Hell, they didn’t even ask for ID. It would do. Maxwell ordered pizza, and made a phone call guaranteed to give the Bitch an ulcer.

--------------------------------

Steven’s Estate, Thursday, December 27, 2001 1720 hours.

“Cendar after-hours communications desk, this is Lars, how may I help you?”

“Can you get Kate Stevens on the phone?”

“Sir, Ms. Stevens is recovering from recent injuries. If I can reach her, who should I say is calling?”

“I met her on her recent cruise, I know she was hurt, and wanted to wish her well.”

“Just a moment sir, and your name is?”

“Just tell her it’s John, and I loved dancing with her.”

“Please hold the line.”

Lars decided to pass the call through to Andy. There was something about the caller that didn’t “feel” right.

“Hello? Andrew Jeeves.”

“Andy, it’s Lars, I’m on the communications desk tonight. I have a caller on line seven who says his name is John and that he enjoyed dancing with Kate on her cruise. He supposedly wants to wish Kate a speedy recovery.

“Lars, listen carefully. Be sure your recorder is recording. We’re going to bounce the caller from one “level” to another “level” of responsibility. Transfer the call to this line in 45 seconds. Got it?

“Record, start trace procedures, delay 45 seconds then put him through.”

“Good Man.”

Andy dialed Simon’s cell phone. “Hello mate.”

“Quick as you can, trace line 7 into the communications center. It’s Kate’s rapist.”

Andy dialed Hal. “Boss, Kate’s rapist is calling in. I’ve Simon trying to trace it, I’m in the downstairs office.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Hello, this is Andrew Jeeves, communications officer for the Steven’s estate, how may I help you?”

“It took long enough.” Maxwell said peevishly. “I’m trying to reach Kate Stevens. My name is John, and I danced with Kate on her cruise. She disappeared and I heard she had to be medevac’d. I was calling to see if she’s okay.”

“Let me see if she’s available. It might take a few minutes, please hold while I try.”

“So, do we let Kate know about this?”

“Andy, she’d filet us if we didn’t tell her. Hal picked up a house phone and called Annie.”

“Annie, get your Mom and get her to the office as fast as you can. If Dorothy or Linda’s there, bring them too, hell bring everyone but the kids. Go, we may have her rapist on the line, and we’re tracing it.”

“Sir, I’ve been told Kate can take a call, she needs to be transferred into a wheelchair, so we’re getting someone to help her come to the phone. Please hold, it shouldn’t be more than two or three minutes.”

Linda, Annie, Kate, Sheila, Dorothy, TJ, Carol, and Leo all arrived in a rush.

“I told him it would be another two or three minutes. Everything is being recorded, and Simon’s working on tracing the caller’s location.”

“Kate, do you want to talk to him? We’ll all be right here. He can’t hurt you, all he can do is try to scare you.” Hal told her

I took several deep breathes and told Andy to put him through.

“Kate, just try to sound weak and hurt at the beginning.”

“Since I do hurt, that’s not much of a reach.”

“Sir, I can transfer you now.”

I picked up the phone and in a very tremulous voice said “Hello, this is Kate Stevens.”

“I was just sitting here, jacking off thinking of fucking you while waiting on a pizza. I thought I should call you, you fucking cunt.”

“Oh my God! It’s John Maxwell.”

“I’m glad you remember me you scummy piece of shit. You’re dead, you and your friend Linda. Dead. Dead. Dead. But before I kill you I’m going to fuck you one more time. I’ll bring a big knife and open your cunt up and fuck you. I think this time I’ll forgo the gag. I want to hear you scream.”

“John, I’ve just one thing you should know.”

“What, you want to thank me for opening up your cunt you freaky fucking slut?”

“No, what I wanted to tell you is the nozzle of my douche bag is bigger than that pathetic piece of meat you call your prick.”

There was silence for a few second then an enraged “WHAT?”

“Let me break it down into simple words John, you have a very teeny wienie.”

“You fucking freak of nature. I was going to hurt you then kill you quick so I could have time for your friend Linda. But you’re going to take a long time dying.

“As long as it takes for you to get it up?” I replied.

“You’re awfully brave considering you’re dead. You and Linda both.”

“And you talk really big for someone so tiny.”

“Just keep looking over your shoulder bitch. I’m going to get you for all you’ve done to me.”

“John, I’ve done nothing to you. Yet. You’d be advised to watch your back. Our private police and the military protection divisions of Cendar security were really incensed by what you did to me. You do know, don’t you, we only hire individuals with backgrounds such as Marine Recon, PJs, British SAS, FBI agents, and people with similar backgrounds? They are very elite warriors. This call is being recorded. When they hear it they’ll go absolutely ape-shit. Once they have you, I’m guessing you’ll die the death of a thousand cuts. No matter what I say, they will do what they will do. And you will just disappear. No more very teeny wienie for you. Oh wait. Maybe I can save your worthless ass. They might strap you to a table and turn your teeny tiny wienie into your very own vagina. Wouldn’t that be special? Then we can find a “real man” for you.”

This call was NOT going the way Maxwell thought it would go. He hung up.

I was shaking, and started crying as soon as he hung up. Everyone was looking at me. “What?”

“Bravo Kate Bravo,” Andy said

“Honey, I think you managed to scare him.”

“If he didn’t have penis envy before, you can bet he does now!”

Linda wrapped me in her arms. “I’m so proud of you Babe. I could never have done that.”

My Mom joined the hug and whispered in my ear “If I’d had the presence of mind to say half of that maybe Tiny wouldn’t have had the balls to rape me.”

“Momma, I’ve never been so scared.”

Annie grabbed me and hugged me to the point where I was having trouble breathing, “Mom, you were awesome, just really absolutely awesome!”

Once again, my family made me feel their love for me; and it hurt in all the good kinds of ways.

Simon came bursting into the office. “Andy! I managed a trace to Birmingham Alabama, I can’t narrow it down much closer than a couple of city blocks. There are a lot of low class, and low cost motels on those two blocks. It’s the perfect place to hide.”

Simon noticed the rest of us, and bowed in my direction, “My Lady, we may be able to acquire Mister John Maxwell. If we do, much of the credit will go to you. You were able to keep him talking long enough to trace him back to three cell towers. That gives us a firm location.”

“My Lord, I await the order from you or from My Lady.

“Andy, how soon can you get an action team together? Somewhere around thirty men. More is better than less. Take copies of Maxwell’s picture, and be sure they all have a stack of $50.00 bills. Check in with the local police, tell them you are acting as bondsmen. If the police chief gives you any static at all have him call my private line. He’ll geek if I promise enough “in kind” donations to his department. Let’s start this right.” Hal reached over to a check imprinter. He then wrote a check for $75,000.00 payable to Birmingham Police Department for equipment upgrades. “Tell him we’ll be issuing a press release about our grant about noon tomorrow, our time. Let him know if there’s a particular upgrade or equipment that costs more we would probably look favorably upon providing it. Then tell him why we’re there and ask for his help. He may decide to swear you all in. Make sure all the men carry their current badges, federal firearms weapons permits, and documents as bail bondsmen. Spread the money, find the man. Be sure they know this bastard is armed. I would prefer him to be taken alive, but don’t take chances. Get going, you’ll be leading it. I’ll call and have the jet ready. Don’t take away men from the estate security detail. Go!”

“Simon, you know more about tracing signals than I ever will. Stay in your work area. I’ll be sure food is brought in, whatever you need. Watch those towers, if he calls any number I want to know. He likely will throw that phone away. So watch all the traffic in that area. If he bought more than one of the same kind, maybe they’ll have a similar MAC number. If you need something tell Kate, or me, or Andy and you’ll have it as soon as possible. You’ll always have a job here, my Lady’s liegeman. You have earned every honor we can bestow.” With that, Hal bowed deeply to Simon

“I turned to Sheila. Get Patrick and suit up. I’m going too.”

“Kate, you can’t.”

“Why can’t I? Would you deny me this? Apart from Leo and Carol, who are untrained, I am the only one who can make a positive ID.” I stared Hal down.

“You’re right. But you are wearing your Tactical-Suit at all times. It has more than enough Kevlar to stop a .45.”

“Thank you Hal. I would also take Simon. He may be able to narrow things down if he’s able to access the actual cell phone towers. I’m sure he can route all traffic wirelessly.”

“Thank you My Lady, I’ll not fail you.”

Leo interrupted. “There’s some things you have to know about and a decision to be made right now. Carol took all the files from Maxwell’s safe. She also took his ledger book. I’ve looked through them briefly, they tie him to several murders, and 12 separate rapes. He always took some piece of jewelry from the women. These he would later give to carol. We have all the jewelry that was listed. John is looking at a death sentence.”

“Who do we turn these over to, and how?”

“Leo, I’ll call Governor Wells, describe what’s here, and ask for a couple of State Police to take custody of it.”

“But first, Annie pull gloves on and photograph every page, then photograph each linked piece of jewelry. Finally, photocopy every file, and the ledger. Four copies, collated and stapled or bound. How soon can you do that?”

“Most likely it will take a couple of hours.”

“Then we’ll release a statement to the press about how Mrs. Maxwell brought the documents and jewelry, and that she, and her children are now in hiding.”

“Carol, will that all be okay with you?”

“Protect me and my babies and I’ll willingly make the first cut in, what did you call It, The Death of a Thousand cuts? Get him! Tell him I’m right here. That bastard beat me over and over again. He even took out insurance on my parents then murdered my Mom and Dad in a staged “accident.”

“Carol,” Hal spoke softly to her, “Kate, Linda, and I will pay you for every piece of the jewelry we turn over. You’ll never need to work unless you want to.”

“Well, I still want her to be house mother in our new shelter.” I told the group, “I suppose this is a good time to tell you, the sale of the Jacob’s estate was finalized today. I got a good deal. $2.9 million for 800 acres, the estate house, a garage, and several other out-buildings. We can cut a road through and seal the current entrance next week. I even got a 3-day escrow, provided all the current family sign off on the deal tomorrow. Hal, you’ll have to sign the papers. I’m going to go suit up and go to the range and practice with my Uzi.”

“Andy we’ll leave in three hours. You want to drive? Or take the Huey?”

“Kate I HATE helicopters, but we can take one if you really want.”

“Thanks Andy, and I’m going to want the medevac helicopter at Beverly when we return. Do you think we can get three or four camera crews to go with us?”

“We can try Kate. You want the entire thing filmed?”

“Can you think of a better promotional film?”

“You’re thinking the sales angle?”

“I’ve got to raise the $2.9 million some way.”

“Okay, that’s settled then. Hal, do we have a tactical suit in Simon’s size?”

“We should have.”

“Simon, you want to go down to the range with me and choose a weapon?”

“As you wish, My Lady.”

“Annie, see if you can find a suit for him and bring it downstairs. I’ll think you’re a genius if you can clothe the video people. At least protective vests if not the entire suit. Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m going to go change and pack a bag. I’ll meet you at the range in half an hour.”

People began to disperse, to do what needed to be done. I didn’t know it, but Annie had one of the Secretaries do the copying and photography. After photocopying, she examined the photos under different colored lights, looking for anything that might be hidden.

I opened my arms locker, and pulled out my Tactical suit. After filling the built in Camelback water-bladder I donned it and strapped it to fit. My .40 Glock pistol I strapped to my thigh. A K-bar knife hung upside down from the harness integral to the TAC suit, the rest of my gear was on a black Sam Browne belt. A lightweight jacket with “POLICE” emblazoned on the back covered the TAC suit. Grabbing a duffel bag I stuffed a second TAC suit, along with underwear and socks, toothbrush, etc…

I also packed two outfits to schmooze in, if needed. That meant two pair of shoes, and nylons. I’d just finished packing my helmet when Linda walked in.

“I love you,” she said, “I wish there was some way I could keep you here and safe with me.”

“I do to. Unfortunately I’m the only one who can do what needs doing. Walk with me to the range?

“Of course.” We walked hand in hand.

I wanted several items from the armory. I selected a thin knife that fit inside my boot tops. An ankle holster and a Colt “Chief’s Special” I strapped above my boot on the other ankle. As expected, my TAC suit hid them well. I took a box of “Black Talon” in .38 special, and .40 caliber and packed it in my duffel. My next item was an UZI. I packed four magazines in the pockets of the TAC suit, and I took four more and went to the range.

I’d only shot an UZI a few times. So I wanted to be certain I could control it, and carry it safely. This model had a wire stock that folded to one side of the weapon. I pulled it into position, heard the stock lock into place, loaded a magazine and flipped the switch to semi-auto. At fifteen yards I could keep my shots grouped in the 6” center of the target. I loaded the second magazine, and flipped the switch to full auto. It was a sweet weapon, even at full auto I could keep my groups in the center of mass.

“Pretty impressive shooting there Tex,” Linda teased.

“Hon, I do NOT want to have to use it, but if I need it I’ll have it.”

We walked back to the armory. I pulled out the UZI’s manual and cleaned it according to the instructions. The two used magazine were refilled then I taped them so all I had to do was to flip the magazine stack to access the second magazine. I packed a box of .40 caliber ammo for my Glock, and a couple of boxes of 9mm for the UZI.

After attaching the UZI and its tactical sling to my TAC suit I picked up three grenades, one flash-bang, one smoke, and one tear-gas and hooked them to my suit

Simon, Patrick, and Sheila walked in about the same time I’d finished cleaning the UZI.

“Simon, have you ever shot a hand gun before?”

“Yes my Lady. If there’s a SigSauer I should be fine.”

“Model P226 acceptable.”

“It’s perfect,” my Lady.

I kitted him out with a gun belt, the P226, and an asp tactical baton that he said he knew how to use, mace, flashlight, a K-bar knife, and two high capacity magazines. Simon actually looked rather dashing. We stepped over to the range, and he drew his gun and fired at the 25 yard target. Patrick, Sheila and I stood slack jawed at the speed of his shooting, and it looked like every shot went through the first hole in the target. He dropped the empty magazine and jammed a new one in before the first hit the floor, and again his hand came up and just as quickly he emptied the second magazine. This time, the shots were all to the head.

“Satisfactory my Lady?”

“Very satisfactory. Damn you’re good!”

“I learned after Jillian’s death. While not as satisfactory as killing up close, there are times when a gun can be so practical.”

Annie caught up to me there. She too was wearing a TAC suit, and a gun. “Mom, don’t say a word, don’t argue, I’m going, that’s it. Understand?”

“Honey, you don’t NEED to go.”

“Mom, I NEED to go as much as you.

“Kate, she’s right,” Lin said to me.

It was an axiom: Linda was always right. I didn’t argue any more. “Okay, if you must go, grab a shotgun and the ammo for it, I know you know how to shoot it so don’t argue. Troops, anyone need anything? Let’s go find Andy and get moving.”

“Well Kate, I see you have your retinue. Did you all remember helmets? It’s the only way you’ll be able to talk in the Huey.”

Annie pulled out two helmets. One for her, and the second she handed to Simon.
Hal came out of the office, smiling which was something I’d learned to be afraid of — usually in a good way.
Andy was wearing shoulder boards with two diamonds on each, at one end were a pair of crossed kukris. He reached up and fastened similar shoulder boards on my TAC suit. Mine had 3 diamonds, and a heavy line of gold bullion on the outer end, the other end had the crossed kukris. He pulled himself up and saluted, “Ma’am this action has been sanctioned by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and takes place under the auspices of the Commonwealth’s State Police. All personnel will be sworn in before we leave the Commonwealth. ID cards and Badges are already prepared and will be issued in flight. The formal writ forfeiting John Maxwell’s bail bond and freedom, an arrest warrant for John Maxwell from the Commonwealth, your copy of John Maxwell’s files and two additional copies of each are in your cabin. Task group Swift Grip awaits your orders Ma’am.”

I returned his salute with a small laugh. “Let’s load up and get this show on the road.”

Hal and Linda walked with me. “You better be careful, if anything happens to you Maxwell wins. You know that don’t you?”

Before I could answer Linda added, “Please be careful Honey, I need you to come back in one piece. Your family is counting on you. Are you sure you have to go?”

“Lin, what kind of life would I have if I let this bastard get away, or even worse hurt you?”

Linda just held onto my hand.

“Hal, don’t worry. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

Hal didn’t say another word. He just held my other hand as firmly as he could.

I kissed Hal, then Linda. Damn they must have been practicing. It took a few seconds to begin breathing again.
As we walked to the heli-pad I asked Andy, “Okay, how did you arrange State Police credentials?”

“Well, since nearly everyone has a badge, but they are from all over, and since you and your staff are Police officers, I called Jane, and she called the State Police, and just that quick the decision was made it would be easier if everyone carried the same badge. You, by the way are ranked as a Major, and I’m now a Captain.” Andy Laughed. “And here I thought I’d retire as a sergeant. Thanks for the promotion Boss, err… I mean Major” Andy laughed some more. Giggling between words he continued “You are now the third highest ranked Police officer in the Commonwealth. You even take precedence over Boston’s Chief!” And Andy found that funny too.

We were all strapped in, the helmets did make it possible to speak. Andy showed everyone how to lower either the tinted, clear, or reflective gold Lexan lenses on their helmets. All three were bullet resistant — they’d stop a .45. Together it was hoped they would stop anything short of a .50 caliber round.

Fifteen minutes later we landed by the jet. The camera lights were on, and the camera operators were recording everything

The officers were already there. They lined up in formation. Two “lieutenants” in front. Simon, Sheila, Patrick and Annie joined their ranks.

Andy gently guided me to a position in front of the group. A man in uniform was waiting. Andy turned to me and saluted. “All present Ma’am”

Even I can get it when it’s handed to me on a silver platter. I turned to Colonel Kincaid in the State Police uniform, saluted and announced “Sir, all present or accounted for.”

He cracked a smile, “Very good Kate,” he whispered to me. He then spoke to everyone, and administered the oath of office as State Police officers. After he dismissed the formation he started chatting with me. “It’s been a while since you last taught weapons and tactics. Any chance you could teach this next class?

“Jim, I just don’t know. But if I can, I will. Thanks for making this happen.”

“After everything you’ve done? And everything Cendar has given to the Local, not to mention State, Police Departments it’s the least we could do. Go find the bastard, and bring him back.”

“I will Colonel, I will.”

(I know, I know, it’s fiction. Massachusetts and other states do not just hand out badges. However it hasn’t been so long ago (before 1980) when a security guard in California had more mandated training than a police officer in Massachusetts. Yes, I’ve been a police officer, and yes, I’ve been to the police academy in both states. The Massachusetts Law Enforcement Training Council (if they haven’t changed their name) went through the state like green grass through a goose, telling everyone to meet the required training, then setting deadlines, and enforcing the mandated changes. One glaring exception was the case of a “Special Police Officer.” Towns were authorized to create “Special Officers” for things like Campus Police (mostly very well trained), or industrial security (Not so well trained), or guards on large estates (training, what’s that??). They were also sometimes issued to local politicians).

The next five hours flew by. At 0400 we landed at Birmingham’s airport, and were met by the chief of police, and the mayor.

I stepped forward, “Gentlemen, thank you for meeting us.”

“Ma’am I assure you, we got the word from on high to extend every courtesy possible. Could you form your people up?”

I turned to Andy, he called out “Fall-in”

“I have the honor to administer the oath of office as Alabama State Troopers to ya’all by order of the Governor. Raise your right hands…”

After the oath, I turned to Andy, “Now THAT I didn’t expect.”

The Chief of Police was next, “Do you always carry a machine gun and hand grenades?”

“No Chief, only when I go into the field. Technically it’s a submachine gun, and I’m carrying smoke, tear gas, and flash-bang grenades. I didn’t really see the need to blow up anything today,“ I said and smiled.

“We have ten patrol cars or SUVs for your use. It’s all we could come up with. Ya’all have one of my men as your driver and guide. The area to be swept has been quietly cordoned off. Anyone has been allowed to enter. No one will be allowed out after 0500.

“Mr. Mayor, Chief Douglas, I have something for the Police Department. Hopefully it’ll take some of the sting out of meeting this early. Cendar will be announcing a grant to the Police Department of Birmingham at noon today in Massachusetts. Rather than mailing it, it’s my honor to present to you this check for $75,000 to upgrade equipment. If there’s something particular you need, especially in the area of technology, please ask. We make some of the finest in the field today. We always are looking for departments to make “in-kind” grants to.”

“We make it a point to support the police in areas we take an interest in. Mr. Mayor, why don’t we set down one day next week and you tell me about the economy and opportunities. Maybe Hal and I could meet with the local Chamber of Commerce? We’ve several projects that will need an entire manufacturing facility built. Probably 150 to 250 paid positions — to start. Cendar pays at least, if not more, than the prevailing wage, plus extremely generous benefits programs.”

“Chief, we also have an extensive history of bringing advanced technology to police departments. We also do training. One of our courses covers special weapons and tactics. I teach that one.”

“Hopefully this operation will go like clockwork. I see we’re all loaded, let’s go see if our bunny is at home.”

When we arrived, forty-five special operations officers fanned out. All of it captured on tape. Birmingham Police sealed the three block area. Three man teams simultaneously entered the offices of the eleven motels in the target area. One of those motels was the “Belle of the South.”

------------------------

Outside Belle of the South Motel, Birmingham, Alabama, Friday, December 28, 2001 0500 hours.

The office was locked. One officer rang the bell, another pounded on the door until the manager staggered into the office. At the sight of three armed police he stumbled over himself opening the door.

“You guys aren’t here to shake me down are you? I’ve paid my “permit” fees on time for at least a year. Why are you rousting me out of bed? And why are you wearing those frigging helmets? I can’t see your faces.”

“Sir, we’re looking for a high profile fugitive. He is considered armed and very dangerous. Have you seen this man? He slipped the man a photo and a $50.00 dollar bill.”

“Yeah, he’s here. He’s in room eleven. The green Nova is his.”

The third man of the group reported the information.

Andy issued orders. Team One established a perimeter and detached two three man groups to execute the entry. Team Two continued their checks. Again it was all captured on tape.

Kate left her team and quietly took up a position to one side of the door to room eleven. Simon took his place in the office of the “Belle of the South.”

By throat mike Kate whispered “Okay Simon, let’s see if he left the phone turned on.”

Simon pinged the closest tower, then the second, and finally the third they had used to locate John Maxwell. Simon smiled. “It looks like our wanker’s not very clever after all. You can call him My Lady.

I smiled. The entry team were beside the door. Patrick and Sheila joined me. Another team was in the alley behind.

The window to room 11 was masked off with a special ballistic blanket, which had the advantage of allowing the cameras to use their lights without alerting Maxwell, and incidentally to stop any stray bullets.

I picked up a cell phone and dialed the number John had called from last night.

On the fifth ring, without thinking John Maxwell answered the phone.

“Hello?” A very sleepy voice answered.

In my sweetest, most perky voice I replied. “Good Morning John, did you have a pleasant night?”

“Oh shit, I left the fucking phone on.”

“Yes you did sweetheart,” I signaled the battering ram “I was hoping you would.” I signaled Andy, and he ordered the team in. The door was hit with a battering ram and I tossed a flash-bang grenade in. I could hear it in stereo from the dropped phone.

I rushed in following Andy, UZI cocked and locked. Maxwell was already down on the floor. I walked over to him and made a positive identification, then pulled a black hood over his head. Maxwell was handcuffed, and manacles attached to his ankles. He was then placed in the back of a police car, and two teams left for the airport and kept a close watch over him.

Cendar’s forensics people moved in with a laser room scanner. For 5 minutes the device painted every surface in the hotel room with a laser. When that was complete, everything was photographed in situ. Finally, everything in the room was tagged and bagged. When everything was out of the room, the Green Chevy Nova was hastily checked over, the contents confiscated. Then the car was towed to the police impound lot. The entire process had taken 30 minutes. Kate went into the office and counted out 10 more $50.00 bills to the manager for “door repairs.”

The black clad special ops troops got back into their cars for the short ride to the airport. Birmingham City Police took down the barricades and just that quick, it was over. Kate and her team (and a camera crew) remained behind chatting with the Mayor and Police Chief.

I pulled my helmet off and Annie took it from me. I shook my hair out from the helmet. Patrick and Sheila never looked at me, through their gold colored lenses they watched everything. Especially if someone armed, police or not, got within range.

“And that, gentlemen,” I shook out my hair, “is what happens with modern electronics, information technology, and overwhelming force.”

“Ma’am, I must say I’m impressed. What happens to the fugitive now?”

“Technically we are acting as bail bond agents. Federal law allows us to take him into custody. He will be returned to a federal court, along with additional information we’ve developed over the last 72 hours. Then it’s a matter for a judge and jury to decide. Based on the evidence I’ve seen this man is allegedly responsible for at least 8 contract killings, 2 people were allegedly killed for their insurance money, and at least 12 women were allegedly raped and brutally beaten by this man. If convicted he could be given the death penalty on the federal charges, he still could be tried on Capital Crimes in Florida, and Minnesota. Massachusetts wants him for allegedly assaulting and raping a police officer, and battery against a police officer resulting in great bodily harm. He may be going away for a very long time-that is if he avoids the death penalty or life sentence on the various charges outstanding.”

“30 minutes, Major, 30 minutes from go to the completion of the forensics. Major, I do believe we will be doing business with you. I’m sorry, but I’m not used to calling someone solely by their rank, but you have no name tag.”

“Ooops. I ripped the Velcro cover off my name tag. Sorry Chief. I’m Kathryn Stevens. We deny any information possible to an adversary. These are some of my technical staff and bodyguards. Simon was able to locate the fugitive to this small area. We made an assumption the fugitive would be in a motel room, that assumption proved correct. Simon bounced a signal off three separate cell phone towers, measuring how long the signal took, we compared that with the computer model we had from a call he made last night. That narrowed the field, a lot. Captain Jeeves then initiated entry into the room while I kept the fugitive busy on the phone. The forensics team had a cut and dried task. All they had to do was capture the forensic picture of the room, and location of each piece of evidence. The photographer then went in with a high speed, high resolution electronic camera. The team then bagged and tagged everything. They gathered the personal effects, including 5 cell phones, a Colt .45 model 1911, over ten thousand dollars in cash, and a quantity of several metals. We have not tested them yet in case they are chemically reactive. We’ll send you a complete report on the operation, chain of evidence, and disposition of the fugitive.”

“Finally, we’ve always found it helpful to secure the help of the facility manager. In this case a fifty dollar bill to ID the photo and identify the room. We then deliberately overpaid the price to repair the room. We want and need the cooperation of private citizens, and we do, occasionally pay informants.”

“Chief Douglas, we did uncover some information you may decide to pursue. More than one Motel indicated they had already paid their monthly “permit fees.” Additionally at least two of my men were propositioned by prostitutes, indicating a probable red light district operating out of this area giving freebies to cops.”

“Ms. Stevens, why the gold face shields?”

“Our approach is to use the very latest in technology. First, our tactical suits are designed to provide the maximum advantage, without giving anything away. The fugitive was known to be armed with a Colt Model 1911 .45 caliber pistol. The face shields will withstand a .45 caliber bullet. The officers could have used a clear, a tinted, or the gold lens. We decided on gold. By using the gold lens, we deny any facial cues to whoever we’re talking to. You’d be surprised, but a significant amount, if I remember right it’s more than half of information communicated in a conversation is non-verbal.”

“The black suit and gold lens denies all that information to an interviewee. All they can see is the black and gold. It turns out to be very intimidating.”
“That is our second tool. All are techniques that are tried and true. One of the most effective is passive intimidation.
“You may have also noticed apart from my technical and guard staff every one of our special ops team is taller than 6 feet. Again, it’s a tried and true passive intimidation technique. We can even field a platoon sized unit of men 6’6” tall. We have an all-female unit over 5’10 tall. We seldom need to be that selective. This morning’s mix was about 60% male 40% female. Women in particular are ruthless in meeting their objectives. Rudyard Kipling got it right:

“But when the Hunter meets with Husband, each confirms the other’s tale,
That the female of the species is more deadly than the male”

“Never, ever go up against a female team. We fight for our children or we fight for our mate, or we fight for each other. No quarter is given, or asked for.”
“So, technology and intimidation are two tools in our arsenal. A third is our tactics. All movements and physical techniques are based on a 3 person maniple. Usually that’s two experienced officers and one new or trainee per team. This allows one to make contact, while two others provide backup. 3 maniples equal one squad. 3 squads equals one platoon of 27 people. Each platoon has a technical services squad attached. This operation had the potential of going high profile. For that reason we brought enough officers to make the capture as quiet as we possibly could. Ideally we go in, do what needs to be done, and leave. As quietly as we can. If our fugitive had the chance to start shooting we would have moved quickly to further isolate the room and prevent any collateral damage. I’m sure you saw the blanket over the window? The fabric is specially manufactured by Cendar, and in tests absorbs the energy and stops any known pistol or rifle cartridge.”

The tactical coverall we wear is proprietary to Cendar and is rated to stop a .30 caliber rifle round. Our helmets and face shields are also bullet resistant. By swarming a fugitive we can with 98% reliability take the suspect into custody without any injuries to anyone.”

“What you didn’t see, for which I am very grateful, was our trauma team. A trauma team always goes with our action teams. They are prepared to give blood, plasma expanders, even to go in surgically to clamp off a bleeding artery. They are part of the technical services squad. The trauma team consists of a doctor who is a surgeon, a combat medic, and a trauma nurse. So far, we’ve never lost an officer, a fugitive, or a bystander. But please understand, our trauma team is as armed and combat capable as any of our officers.”

“Wow. I had no idea you were so prepared.”

“One of the lesser known speeches by Defense Secretary Rumsfeld was his call for the privatization of some roles that have, till now, been provided by the military. The two largest sectors are police services and protection of officials. Cendar is perfectly positioned to step into that role whenever, and wherever the Government authorizes it.”

“Our largest effort up till now has been training, and operating police forces for small to large metropolises. We can deliver anywhere from three men to 270 (plus support and communications) on less than 24 hours’ notice. This morning’s action was carried out by officers alerted after 1800 hours last night. All of our officers will be proficient in state law, Alabama’s particulars were reviewed on the flight down. They may have to look up a code section, but otherwise can sit any police exam in the country. We maintain a shooting house for training law enforcement and military in how-to best breach and/or clear a building. We teach real world forensics. We teach various law and tactical courses. Our technical people teach computer forensics. We manufacture and provide various secure communications and computer tools.”

“I’m sorry if I sound like a salesman gentlemen. It’s my company and I’m proud of what we can do, and teach others to do. Sometimes I get long-winded. Especially after an operation when coming down from an adrenaline rush.”

“Wait a minute, Kathryn, YOU are KATE STEVENS?”

“Sorry Chief Douglas, guilty.” I destroyed any semblance of professionalism, I started to giggle.

“Day um, when you field a team you put your money where your mouth is. You actually go into hostile situations.”

“I was in this morning’s entry team. How else could I do it? I’m a bit too big to do the rough and tumble, or climbing over barriers, but like virtually any of our special ops personnel I multitask. I’m the team leader, I look for safer ways to do what needs to be done. Tactics are constantly evolving, and I’m one of the people who are responsible for that. I’m also pretty damn good with an UZI (I crossed my fingers behind my back). We all are trained in our core competencies, we then go on to excel in our own areas. I’ll pick on Simon again.

“Simon is a computer genius in a company of computer geniuses. But, Simon is the fastest person I’ve ever seen shoot a gun. You can place an Ace of Spades card from a standard deck on a target at 75 feet. Simon will put every bullet through the spade. I’ve seen him shoot so fast you’d think he was using a submachine gun. He uses a standard P226 9mm pistol.”

“Annie’s not quite as good at shooting as Simon but she is a gifted computer and fabric designer and an able administrator. She doesn’t do this for money — she already has more than she could spend. She’s also my adopted daughter. I’m proud of her. If computer or communications go down Annie and Simon will get it back in short order. Our coveralls are unique to each individual. Annie is the one who makes that happen while incorporating various technologies and standards in each set of coveralls. For instance, mine contains a computer and a high-speed hi-resolution video camera. I’ve a wireless link to Cendar’s mainframes. Information is displayed on my face shield. A lot of our technology forms the basis for our entry into the “Land Warrior” military system. If someone’s in our files a single glance is enough to identify them and display everything we know about them. That’s just one example. It’s also one of the ways we coordinate everyone. We don’t want to outfight our opponents if we can outthink them.”

“Then there’s another reason we are successful. Our people genuinely care for each other. Pat and Sheila, are MY bodyguards; they requested that assignment. I don’t think you could hire them for any amount of money. I know that as long as they are alive I will be too. Though not my bodyguards, Annie and Simon are very typical in their loyalty to the people of Cendar, the company, and to me. They would lay down their life for me. I hasten to add I would also lay my life down for Annie, Simon, Patrick, Sheila or any of my teammates.”

“Responsibility and respect are two way streets. Still, I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such friends.”

“Careful Ma’am, I’m liable to resign and apply to Cendar for a job.”

I giggled again, “Well, I hear the selection process is pretty rough but you do know the owner.”

We all laughed at that. Mr. Mayor, Chief Douglas, let me invite you to visit Cendar. You can see our labs, and our manufacturing facility. We’ll see if we can’t demonstrate some of our Police training for you while you are there. When I can, Monday or Tuesday I’ll call and we’ll set up a convenient time for you to visit. All expenses paid by Cendar. We’ll clear it with your comptroller and city council. Maybe we can run you through the paintball version of the funhouse if you like. We’ll even send a statement to your city council itemizing everything, and our actual out of pocket costs.”

I started to get into the car assigned to us when the chief stopped me.

“Before you go Kate, I need to pin this to your uniform.” He pulled out a Birmingham Police badge, and pinned it to my uniform. “I understand you’ll also be receiving one from the State. I’ll send the credentials to your office. I, the Mayor, and the Governor all want you to know that if ya’all are in the State of Alabama, you are one of our own.”

I know I blushed, and remember wishing I still had my helmet on. I gave him a hug.

“Chief, thank you. That is very gracious of you. Still I should get going, and I’ve got a long day ahead.”

“Ma’am, when you’re not so busy come on back and we’ll show you some Southern Gentility and Hospitality.”

I smiled sweetly as we drove away. I remember thinking I hoped the camera caught the blush, hug, and smile. That was, after all, one of the reasons they were with us. Then I was depressed for being so cynical.

--------------------

Birmingham International Airport, Alabama, Friday, December 28, 2001 0700 hours.

I boarded the plane and asked the crew to head back to Beverly. We would deliver Maxwell to a Massachusetts lock-up and let them decide what to do. I sat down in the main cabin with everyone else as breakfast was served. Someone had found a restaurant that would provide scrambled eggs with bacon, biscuits and sausage gravy for 55 people. It was good, it was hot. I enjoyed talking with the special ops team. Seven were pointed out to me. They had dropped everything to accompany Hal to pick me up from the Cayman Islands. I hugged, kissed them, and cried. I thanked them, and promised not to be in that situation again, at least not if I could help it.

An hour into the flight I went back into my cabin, along with Annie, Sheila, and Patrick. Andy and Simon brought Maxwell into the room. All he was wearing were a tee-shirt and undershorts. Those were removed. Maxwell was forced down onto a cold metal chair. I had the black hood removed.

I pulled my K-bar from its sheath and played with it while talking to my prisoner. “Well Mr. Maxwell, you have been a very, very bad boy. Can you think of any reason I should not remove your very teeny weenie? You are not only a rapist, but also a murderer, an insurance conman, you even killed your mother and father in law. I confess, tossing you out at 30,000 feet over the ocean is very attractive right now.”

“Fuck you bitch.” Maxwell turned to everyone else, “did you know she doesn’t even have a normal cunt? I don’t know how any man could stand her.”

SLAP

Simon’s hand left a large red welt on Maxwell’s face. “You would do well to curb your tongue.”

“Fuck y…

SLAP

Simon slapped the other cheek leaving another welt. “That’s twice, sir. Third time I start cutting. Maybe just one eyelid, accidental like. Only Kate knows why, but I have a very personal hatred of rapists.” Simon was referring to his dead sister, Jillian.

“Mr. Maxwell, you are going to put on a coverall we will give you. It has a built in diaper. You see, we want all kinds of samples from you for testing. Your files listed 12 women you raped. I’m hoping your DNA will be a match for others. Annie, Sheila, let’s go in the other room so he can be fitted into his coverall.

It took about 10 minutes for Simon, Andy, and Patrick to get him dressed. He looked like an oversized baby girl in his pink footed one piece hooded sleeper, except his zipped up the back, and locked. Well that and the fact he was handcuffed and manacled.

“Well now, isn’t that better? Pastel Pink is definitely you. You are going to Massachusetts. Carol is there with your journal, and your files. I’ve been reading all about your activities. Carol is LIVID that you’ve raped those women. She’s even angrier that you would give her jewelry you stole from those women. I’ll tell you now, IF you see her you better be polite because I KNOW she would gladly cut you off.”

I pulled my K-bar knife again, and this time I wickedly slashed Maxwell from shoulder to hip.

Maxwell looked down, stunned he hadn’t been gutted. He realized he’d also voided his bladder.

“That was a demonstration. Your “onesie” can’t be cut by any knife blade, or scissors. The seams are welded, so it will not unravel. It is insulated to keep you warm and comfy. If you start to get too hot something in the makeup of the fabric will get rid of excess heat.”

I sniffed audibly. “Why I think our little Baby Bunting soiled himself! So enjoy your new look. I’m very sure you’re going to be the cutest little thing to ever be locked up in Essex County.” I put the hood back over this head.

“Andy, take him out of my cabin. Annie, will you stay?”

“Of course Momma.”

“I need to lay down, and I need to be held. I feel dirty just from being around him.” I started to cry. “I so wanted to hurt him to make him feel what I felt, but I couldn’t. I wanted to but I couldn’t.”

Sheila picked up the intercom. “Ted, please come to the rear cabin. Ted, please get your doctor bag and come to the rear cabin.

Ted was there in no time at all. Annie was holding me, and I just kept repeating “I wanted to but I couldn’t.”

“I was afraid he’d hurt her,” Ted said.

“He did, emotionally, but she never broke, or showed anything in front of that bastard. Can you give her something that’s short acting but might let her relax at least a little for a couple of hours?”

“Maybe a little Ativan. She tolerates it well, unlike some other sedatives. But you need to keep it quiet and calm back here.”

“Kate did you hear what we said, I just nodded. Is it okay with you? I just nodded. Oh no my pretty, you have to say may I have some Ativan please Doctor Ted.”

“May I please have some Ativan doctor honey?”

“I guess that will have to do. I’m going to jab you in the butt. Don’t tense up this time. Ready, on three One.” Ted jabbed the needle in my ample posterior.

“Hey! you said three.”

“Well you didn’t flinch, Meri, go ahead and put a cannula on her and set her up oxygen, just .5 L supplemental”

Annie snuggled up and Meri put a cover over us, soon I wasn’t sobbing so much. I hadn’t slept much and soon relaxed enough to allow myself to go to sleep.

--------------------------------

Beverly Airport, Beverly, Massachusetts Friday, December 28, 2001 1230 hours.

Oh damn. The newsies were here. Imagine my joy.

The Cendar Medevac Helicopter was there, blades slowly turning. I walked into the main cabin to “address the troops.” “Everybody got the right badges and patches? Let’s leave the machine guns, hand grenades, you know, the little stuff on the plane.” Everyone laughed, we hadn’t brought anything heavier than my UZI. “Red, White, and Blue Flags on the left shoulder, and State Police flashes on the right? Everybody all nit and tidee? Fall into formation at the foot of the stairs, looks like State Police is here to see what the new spring look in tactical wear is like. Who is the tallest? Simes and McGuire you get to help our prisoner off the plane - last. Uh guys, it would look REAL BAD if he somehow fell down the stairs. And everyone, if you don’t hear me say it enough, thank you, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Of course, you also get overtime, combat, and travel pay for the last 24 hours, and I do believe there will be a bit extra in everyone’s pay. We debrief Monday morning 1000 hours. Good job everyone, DAMN GOOD job! Please, enjoy your weekend.

I let Andy lead the way, and I was last, except for Maxwell and his guards. Annie had put my hair up in a bun, something I normally dislike, but it seemed somehow more austere and proper.

The team was in formation, I walked to the head of the formation, nodded for the prisoner to be brought down the stairs. I turned about, “Colonel Kincaid, no stuns, no wounds, no errors.”

The Colonel began to laugh.

I continued “Operations commenced at 0500, by 0530 the fugitive had been located, captured, and forensics completed. The Mayor of Birmingham, Police Chief Douglas, and the Governor of Alabama send their compliments sir.”

“Very good Major. And the prisoner’s attire?”

“That sir is the latest Cendar Labs suicide prevention suit. I understand the color has to do with the materials used.”

“Major, Dismiss your troops”

“Yes sir, Captain, dismiss the team, and turn the prisoner over to the Essex Jail Staff. Remind them to bag, tag, and treat that coverall as evidence. And tell them not to clean it!

Andy called out and the special ops team headed for cars and home. John Maxwell headed to jail.

A Cendar team went through and thoroughly cleaned the plane. When they were done the plane was refueled, and ready to leave to pick up Lisa’s friends.

Linda and Hal were waiting in the limo for Annie, and I. “Impressive Hon, you all looked damned sharp and professional. It made great theatre too.”

“Well, that was part of the purpose, was it not? Alabama’s going to be a big client. You think they looked impressive here? You should have seen them. Maniples banging on the doors of eleven motels simultaneously gets attention. From start to finish was 28 minutes. Maxwell had left his cell phone on, so I was his perky wake-up call. You should have seen him when Simon and Andy got him in his bunny suit. I was playing with my K-bar while talking to him, then suddenly slashed him right across his gut. Obviously it didn’t cut, but you would have thought so to see his face. I’m ashamed at how much I wanted to hurt him. And how rotten I felt when I couldn’t.”

“And that is why you will ALWAYS be better than he is. Andy’s preliminary report says you went in with the first team. Was that wise Kate?”

“Technically it was the first team, I tossed the flash-bang. But I was the last of the team in, and he was already immobilized. I took no chances. Again it was great theatre. The boss leading from the front. The Chief of Police saw it all. There is no way he’d risk his ass, and that spoke volumes. No “mercenaries” just good professional cops doing their job very well. Even my weight played well. The contrast between the Chief and I could not have been plainer. The team all picked up souvenirs: badges, patches, and credentials. I’ve forgotten how many different departments or task forces I’m a part of. I guess I’ve an open-ended commission as an Alabama State Trooper. My mouth is running. I’m still on an adrenaline high. I need to go home, get Lin to help me shower, and eat some French onion, no! Bean with bacon soup and a fried spam sandwich, take an Ambien and go to sleep. I don’t think I’ll have bad dreams tonight, for the first time in weeks.”

Whew!

I leaned against Linda, Annie leaned against me, and we both fell asleep.

“Now we see if the Courts do their jobs. Otherwise I fear we will have to acquire Mr. Maxwell again, and if we do he will disappear forever.”

Linda looked Hal in the eye, “Good.”

To be continued…

COMDEX Chapter 11, “You Want Me To Do WHAT???
“This has to be a Joke!”
.
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Steven’s Hall, 1400 hours EST, Friday, December 28,

Linda turned to her wife, still asleep on her shoulder and gently shook her, “Hi Honey, we’re home.”

“Ow, that hurt. Is it morning yet?” I muttered, disoriented.

“Uh, I don’t think you wear your UZI to bed honey,” Hal informed me, trying to be helpful.

“I’m sorry Love, I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay, I try not to think about it either. Can I get eggs this morning?”

“Hon, don’t you remember? It’s afternoon.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I feel better, not good mind you, but better.” I could see the estate entrance, where even we were identified.

“Good job, Kate!” One of the guards shouted.

I looked at Hal, “So everyone knows everything?”

“It seems some Birmingham TV station took LOTS of film of this morning’s raid, some long range stuff until a cameraman shot the rescue from close range, shouting “Press, Freedom of the Press.” An arrangement was made, and our actual footage will be released today. Then some of the Newies sold the pictures and it found its way to CNN, in Atlanta before noon. It’s being called the single most dramatic apprehension since John Dillinger – ever. The focus seems to be on our ELINT and IT, with a great shot of you tossing in your grenade then rushing in with the team. No one, yet, has identified you as being one of Maxwell’s victims. Our PR office is putting together a release with the “official” details of the raid. Something like:

Today’s actions by officers of the Commonwealth’s Special Operations teams, which includes officers from many local jurisdictions in the Commonwealth, in coordination with the Birmingham, Alabama, Police Department, and the Alabama State Police apprehended John Maxwell, under a warrant signed by Governor Jane Swift, and a fugitive arrest warrant of the Boston Federal Court. The suspect was located using sophisticated systems designed by Cendar Corporation, a Massachusetts company. The raid was led by a senior executive of Cendar, Major Kathryn Steven’s of the State Police, who teaches special weapons and tactics. Birmingham, Alabama, Police Chief Walter Douglas praised the speed and efficiency of the action. Apparently from start to finish the special operations team located and arrested Mr. Maxwell in less than 30 minutes. Mr. Maxwell is being held at the Essex County Jail without bail until he can be returned to Federal Custody.

This morning’s actions were precipitated by a phone call Mr. Maxwell made. From that, Cendar was able to locate Mr. Maxwell. A rapid deployment unit of special weapons and tactics officers of the Commonwealth, with technical assistance from Cendar Corporation, mounted, executed, completed and returned Mr. Maxwell to custody in less than twelve hours.

Colonel James Kincaid, Commandant of the Commonwealth’s State Police praised the operation for its swift insertion and execution of its mission. In particular Colonel Kincaid cited “Kate Steven’s planning and leadership” as being “in accordance with our finest traditions.”

“Wow, who was that masked woman?”

My attention was immediately drawn from the conversation to the front entrance to the house. On either side of the entry way, what appeared to be 16th century guards, complete with Halberds, helmets, and swords who came to attention and presented arms.

I was grinning from ear to ear, when Lisa in “garb” came rushing out of the house to greet us, and to hug Annie, Linda, and I. To Hal she curtsied “Welcome home My Lord Baron.” Lisa grabbed Lin and I, and led us into the house, her mouth running a mile a minute.

“Mommas, you must change into appropriate clothing for ladies of your estate. Well after you shower that is.”

I laughed, and pulled her into another hug. Inside, another set of guards with halberds came to attention and presented arms as we passed by. I could swear I heard snickering coming from the guards.

“How many guards have you drafted Lisa?”

“Not many Momma, no more than 8, at a time, with an officer in charge.”

I looked at Annie, “I don’t even want to know how much this is costing, do I?”

“No Momma, but think of how much fun it is, and how famous this will make Lisa and I. This celebration will go down in Society history!”

“Famous, as in for bankrupting your parents, the billionaires?”

Annie just laughed and asked Lisa if “they had come?”

Lisa just grinned and nodded her head.

Annie was almost jumping up and down. “My Lord and Ladies, we need to stop by your Lordship’s office.”

Hal turned to me, “do we play along with them or should we get back in the car and visit the mountain?”

“Well, they HAVE gone to a lot of trouble, I guess we have to play along, at least for the weekend.”

Then I remembered. Someone told Someone it would be fine to go dragon hunting in the Misty Mountain. I suspect Hermione and her crews have been marking traps, secret doors lairs, Lots of “unseen” guardrooms, and the like. I would practically guarantee our daughters’
Have much more in store than we’ve heard. “Oh Lisa”?

“How many guards do you have working for you in the Misty Mountain??”

“No more than twenty Momma, and they all get used again and again and again.”

“Will the quest be finished in one day?”

Oh NO Momma, we start Tuesday morning although I’ll head up the night before to be certain the potties were delivered correctly, and the town laid out properly. We’ve craftsmen from all over new England to sell their wares. They start arriving Monday. I asked the forrester if there were a number of trees that needed culling. He was SO helpful I think he’s sweet on Annie. Anyway, the logging crew cut the trees down, then his backhoe people dug a trench three feet deep all around the townsite, then cut the trees in 15 foot sections and buried them in the ground so only the top ten feet are above ground level. Then we had a well dug with a “wishing well” type of top. It tests clean of any impurities. Dr Tom tested and said the water is safe. This is where the adventurers are going to stay. Daddy, it’s on our property, but it’s well away from the road. The only time Mr Garcia (the mushroom grower) raised any issues was what would happen to his mushroom harvest. We’ve guaranteed at least the same if not more profit for Mr. Garcia and he’s happy. There’s a BIG red strip in front of the areas we don’t want anyone into. Additionally Anyone caught crossing a red line, had better have permission.
We’ll also try to stay out of sight of the on-site Security. I’ve my key and at meals we’ll use the kitchen, beans and fanks that kid of thing. At night, we’ll use the showers and the bunks in the Mountain, if we need to. Then we do the last day of our “Adventure,”
That night we’ll have a bonfire and whatever foodstuffs are brought to town. That all get’s put together for an evening meal. Hermione is going to do the thing with a turkey riding a boar.

“I’m hesitant about what I’m going to say next. The next day after breakfast we’re having a war.”

“I ordered two trucks of hay. We’ll use the hay as the walls and battlements of the opposing groups. The swords used are usually wood or often rattan that has been heavily wrapped, and padded.”

When the word is given the two sides come out to do battle. Armor is acceptable, and usually worn. The victor is crowned by you Mother’s. Yes, both of you are welcome, maybe take turns?

The award is a small golden arrow about 6 inches long and weighs about 2 ounces of 14 carat gold.

With no knowing how many we’d need, I ordered 250 smaller gold arrows. Each arrow is only 1/10th ounce 14 carat, so we got them pretty cheap. Any leftovers we can store in the credenza. I’d like to schedule a dungeon crawl and war once, or maybe twice a year. I was thinking if we did some some

“With you and Mom, I wasn’t thinking all that well. My Lord Baron has sponsored our Canton of the Two Towers for many years. I assumed you’d know what an SCA event was all about.

On Wednesday, the big open area away from the town, We have 400 hundred fighters, and guests. About 15 crafters. I also bought 10M 3.5Mx3Mhigh sheds. They’re rustic wood, but weatherproof.
1 One is for the administration/Dr. Tom gets the First aid and Radio Room. He’ll have a “4 bed” hospital, proto-type and beta-type diagnostics will be on site,
along with a Beta and Prototype diagnostics, the portable xray in the Mountain
if we need it. Everything will be logged and replaced from central stores.
2 One is for the chaperone and Tim/Terry
3 One is for me, Lisa, Maeve, and Si
4 One is Hal, Linda, and Kate
5 One is a bunkroom for staff, I hope to have
9 Four Connected together for the serving area. We’ve actually hired 2 roach
coaches. They were perfectly happy to provide Victuals from a limited menu.
Besides there will be a whole roast pig, and a whole half a steer.
10 One a “garb store.” Besides off the rack, Annie’s agreed to link to the site
11 through an encrypted radio link to her workshop in the basement, We’ll garb you for basement level prices.
12 One set up to sell beer, wine, Meade, hard cider, and soft drinks.
Yes I have all the proper Licenses. For the sales, and the kitchen. Every registrant
will be banded with red or green hospital type. Don’t sell to the red bands.
13 One to the Blacksmith. He get’s very hot.
14 One for a food store (extra big 15x25M
15 Musician Corner – The Filk Song Connection
If the weather turns bad, we will go ahead and use areas as needed. Daddy, that means we may take over the kitchen area cooking our own store bought food. None of the pantries will be opened except by my twin Lisa, and our step-sisters Maeve and Siobhan.
Each of the buildings can be relocated into Misty Cave. Believe it or not I got them to attach caterpillar treads. At the very worst, we’ll take over Supply tunnel one. The classified areas will remain just that, classified. This time the contracts will have sanctions attached for failure to follow the rules. The size of the drift tunnels will allow setup of the 14 buildings inside at need.
I’d like to simulate thatch on the roof. We’ll may use one of the Mountain kitchens and move the food in hot and cold chests. Eventually, I’d like to use some of the Mountain, maybe with eight foot wide and twenty feet deep off one of the drift tunnels, that way we’d have permanent storage, and do an adventure actually in the mountain, from hiking to city. It would have a rather heavy encumbrance upfront; especially the Stores we intend to operate, a central meeting area, Stand-alone kitchen facilities front but it should start producing revenue by the fifth year. At which time we could afford a full-time caretaker and administrator. Especially if we can provide secure storage on site. The inside would have two lighting systems. The first indirect full light, and one the approximate level of torch light.

“Annie, just try to not inconvenience our tenants the mushroom growers, or any of the others. Can you setup a call for me with “Call Blast explosives” and set up a time. Call Crazy Eddie tonight, yeah, that would be better. If he’s not too busy, tell him I’d appreciate tackling this ASAP or even tonight. Double pay for whatever shift. It’s for my daughters. This contract will be costs plus 25% Net 5. Smooth floors so they have about have a half a bubble incline, front to back. Almost forgot. Three radial walls spokes off of a central “commons.’ The commons must be roughly 45M square and at least 15M high. One room off of administration, the kitchen needed dimensions of 15x15x30, height at fifteen feet. This room needs gas, oil and plumbing. The kitchen area Hot Water Heater will provide hot water to the showers, so it must be substantial. Ansel Fire hood, filtration and scrubbers that returns the feed air to the corridor. If you can find a large commercial refrigerator and commercial stove, and any other cafeteria fixtures, I’ll pay for someone to track them down and buy them. Now the bad part. I need it done in thirty six hours from right now. Tack on whatever pay you think necessary, just keep in mind you are the only blasting company I use – so far. To sweeten the pot, I’ve another subterranean tunnel to be built. Details are 30-35 percent overburden, same size and depth as my current tunnels. To connect at one end to the current tunnel. Same blast doors. It will connect my two outbuildings, and the Jacobsen estate – which I just bought. So it’s a good half mile, probably more with a way station/safe room to accommodate 50. I will be buying another two, maybe apartment campuses. I’ll want some tunnel, and probably walls for each campus. If that’s enough to get you out here NOW, let’s get moving. If not, what do I have to do to get you working immediately?
Between the spokes, cut Administrating offices, one may need a bore hole to the surface for an outside Offices are to be a normal door, which will be provided if you need. We need 3 10M by 20M In the rest of the
All finish to be all rock, no projection of more than two inches. Floors rook if it can be done, otherwise pour concrete.
Finish. If you can make three bathrooms, one male, you might use a rock “trough” for the urinal; two female; 1 coed. Build large showers in the women’s and the men’s rooms. Eddie, I don’t want people to wait to take a leak. So build them big enough. For now, each eight rooms, four to each side. Dimensions of width on the radials can be 3 MH x 8M square, with 8M ceilings. Tell him to remember this is the first stage. Do it well, and I’ll be doing a LOT of blasting in that area. What kind? Mazes, corridors that lead to a throne room (don’t worry about what goes in, I’ve three someone’s too provide all that? The “city” has have its own private entrance. Portcullis and draw bridge, fifteen foot wide 4foot tapered to ten feet deep, some deeper holes to twenty-twenty five then tapered back to a 4 foot deep. Yeah, it’s also a swimming moat. Above the portcullis, my two daughter’s idea, we would like. The moat means we need filtration, and a tech to start testing all of our water. Also, above the portcullis, a defensive gallery, with slits for shooting arrows.

Rubble can be driven to my estate. The first left turn will take you to the former Jacobsen estate, follow the road around to a former rock quarry. Dump all material rock and earth there. Up to an even 20 foot at deep end, 4 foot as shallowest. 0 foot below at that point, pour concrete with drain hole for filtration. As for permits, I believe my current ones will cover this, but you might send Erik or Leo of my legal staff down to plans.

“Daddy, I’ve wanted to do this for years. Now I’ll have Lisa, and Maybe Tim, and no one knows what Maeve and Siobhan will want. BUT if we really, REALLY do it right I believe we can reduce that encumbrance to zero in three years, with the simple advertising this could become THE war Centre of New England, with Wars and Adventures taking place each week.”

If we do this, we can dominate several types of events. Summer, we offer a standard Camping program. A Scenic Wedding venue. Maybe Nor-War, Nor-War Winter for SCA; Residential and short term (1 Week); Misty Mountain camping/adventuring. Daddy, it’s mind boggling the usage we can make of that mountain.

We went into the downstairs office and a couple of officer’s in full tactical gear stood post by a credenza I didn’t remember, on top of which was a glass case, the glass etched in a series of Celtic knots. The attached brass plate informed us they were the Royal Jewels of the Barony of Stevens. Inside were the coronets. In the center of each were jewels, and the circlets were also done in a series of Celtic knots.

“Oh Wow,” Hal exclaimed.

“Oh No, are those real?” I asked.-

“You said gold Momma, did we hear wrong?”

Moan… “No girls, you did just right. When do I see the bill?”

“Oh not for a couple of weeks, I charged them to your credit card. The state forrester, when he found out who my parents were laughed and said “Why Not?” Then Mr. Garcia was VERY helpful. He let us tap into his power, and told me every night he’d leave the oversize mushrooms out for us.

Oh, by the way, Dr. Ledbetter and Dr. Saul and his wife want to come up and observe. He’ll take the first aid clinic for his own. Tom said he’d head up there most afternoons.

If I’d been sitting, I’d have done a face plant.

“The gems were only 10% over actual invoiced cost, and the detail work was really quite reasonable,” Annie explained. “The Diamond Exchange was very reasonable, they let us have the price they were charged by DeBeers, plus the three percent And the gold is a good investment. Also, we were able to get this lovely credenza which is also a T60 rated safe. Oh, and they waived the usual 3% processing fee. We save a LOT with that!”

“Can I ask a couple questions? Was it more than $50K?”
“Was it less than a $Million?”

“Yes Momma, and No Momma.”

“Was it more than $Ten Million”

“With or without gemstones,?

“No Momma

That’s enough, but If I have to hock my BMW to make the payment SOMEONE’s going to be in trouble.

I THOUGHT the legs looked awfully stout, but I was in shock. I suddenly realized there was a HUGE difference between thought and action, at least in the marketplace.

Hal rescued the two damsels who were about to be in distress.

“I think you two did VERY well. You’re right Annie, gold is a great investment. All I ask is one little favor. When the bill comes, make sure I’m in the office to see Kate’s reaction.”

“Of course my Lord.” This time it was Annie who curtsied, and bowed her head.

“And while you’re being so agreeable, I’d like this to be a real-world teaching assignment for Lisa.

“Annie, I’d like your instruction to contain the constant and appreciated value, the costs associated receipts. Profit and Loss statements encumbrances’ amortization, and long term deterioration. Hell I’d be willing to let her finish the old semester and bring her on board as an intern. Her job? Learn Business Mathematics and accounting 101 -104. That will take special arrangements, and YOU young lady, will be a very, VERY busy girl. You will spend your free time being Annie’s assistant. Don’t frown at me, you’ll get paid, very well paid, I dare say you make more than any of your schoolmates. Plus you get in on the ground floor of the mountain, and since you’ll be apprenticed to Annie you’ll also get in on the ground floor of Gowns-R-Us. By the time you’re done, if you like business we’ll get you into a good business school and help you through the CPA exam, and a Master’s degree in Business. With what you’ll make, PLUS your fees, room & board, books, and stipend you will be well on your way to becoming a moderately wealthy woman on you own!!”

“Part of your annual bonus will be based on cost savings. You’ll probably have to game that out, then set your preliminary numbers in stone and try to chisel your costs downward. What I do NOT want is you to get tummy sick over it. Oh, as I understand it, Cendar pays 25% to the employee for saving money. So, say your C-Store Sells two million over the course of the first year, and you figure out how to keep the costs down by $100,000, your bonus that year would be $25,000. Cash.

I figured out his ploy. “For instance you’re ordering two double trucks of Hay, change that to alfalfa. What is the actual cost?

“Mom, that’s easy. The price per bale times the number of bales, plus fuel and delivery costs.

“Very good Lisa, now, what happens to all that alfalfa?”

“I supposes it decomposes into mulch.”

So, if you had spent all your allowance on those bales you’d just leave them there to rot.”

“Momma, you already have a solution, could you tell me?”

“With a very put on expression, and a deep sigh, I suppose I’ll give you a hint. What do horses eat?”

“Hay, grain, apples, carrots.

“Very good sweetheart. And how many horses to we have now?”

I swear you could see the light go on in her eyes.

“So we don’t lose any hay, we bring it back and feed it to the horses and wild animals.”

“See Annie she can learn economics. I would hope you will use her and Carol both in figuring out what the Jacobsen property will cost. Everything from costs of different grades of plywood and paint, to how many emergency doors have to be constructed. What’s the garden going to cost. Do we need a high wall around the property? If so, why. If not, why not. Lisa you are going to learn so much. How much is it going to cost to extend the tunnel system? What should be included, what is redundant? Safe rooms? If so where? On site convenience store? Work it from the real life instance of a probable attack on Stevens hall. Can costs be lowered by including C-Stores in the Burlington and Methuen plants?

Work through the statistics for college. How does the Poissant Distribution affect the staffing needs for various programs at the Castle and the Mountain?

Then you can tackle the cost of each horse, feed, grain, vet services, shots, ferrier, saddles, saddle guns, construction of trails. Cost vs Age of Horse. And Mares? Can we get them gravid?

Oh well, you need to start somewhere. I’m sure Annie will absolutely wonderful in helping you.
“Sweatheart, I was hoping you’d fall into that

That was when Carol caught up with us. Carol came to me and gently pulled me into her arms. “Thank you. CNN’s been playing a video clip from this morning and one from this afternoon. Whose idea was it to dress him in a bunny suit?”

I pointed to Annie, who started to giggle. “I wanted to finish the manacles and hand-cuffs in pink too, but somebody (she was pointing at me) said it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“I think it will have the desired effect just as is. And it’s NOT a bunny suit. It’s the first model in Cendar’s anti-suicide anti-escape prison wear. The product has a proximity coil and is embedded with a GPS chip device. Alarms will scream bloody hell if the wearer goes into an area they are not authorized to be in. The pink color is just a result of the manufacturing process.” I confess, I was giggling too. Hal was infected by the ludicrous claim, and started laughing along with us.

“Linda, would you come with me, I really need to put the hardware away and take a shower, scrub my back?”

“Eeew gross!” Lisa moaned.

“Hey, I need a shower too, anyone want to scrub my back?” Annie made smootchy faces at Lisa.

“Ack! You’re all gross, I’m going to find the girls!”

“Kate, I know it’s only been a couple of days, but the kids really love Lisa and Tim. They’ve never really had any friends outside of school. I’ve you to thank for that.” Carol looked like she needed to hug, so I did!

“Where’s Leo?”

“Would you believe negotiating the final details on the Jacobson acquisition? He’s going to be a real asset to the company.” Hal informed me.

Lin and I turned to go when one of the Cendar security officer’s interrupted, “Uh, Kate, you did a great job this morning. Some of the guys called the details into the office. It’s also, uh, kind of a consensus that you might want to think twice before going in with the first team again. We’d really like to keep you around.”

I could see his blush through the gold faceplate of his helmet. I reached up, undid his chinstrap and lifted his helmet off. I kissed him on the cheek. “I kind of want to stay around. I was in no danger. I NEEDED to be there this time. Pass along my appreciation.”

“You know any of us would have gone. It was just the luck of the draw that Kim and I got stuck with duty here today.”

I handed him his helmet, turning to his partner, “and you must be Kim?” She nodded her head, I pulled her helmet off and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you. Neither of you can possibly know how much I value you; as employees, teammates, friends, and especially family.”

My tough security officers had the good graces to blush, and look down around their feet.

“I’m serious you two. It’s been a rough couple of months. Had it not been for you guys I probably wouldn’t be here. I mean all of you, not just Sheila and Patrick, or Andy, all of you! It’s always been our goal to create a company that cares enough to be a family – no matter how large we get; and we will be getting much larger this next year!”

“Thank you Kate,” Kim said, “that’s one of the reasons I left the HRT and the FBI. I saw a group of likeminded people who cared. Not just for their partner’s, but for everyone in the organization. Do you remember the SWAT action two years ago? It was in the North End, and tied up Boston traffic just before rush hour. One of the SWAT officer’s got shot – nothing major, but his partner was really torn up. I saw you take time out to sit with him, to be sure he got to cry it out. There’s no telling how much it cost in lost productivity. But no one begrudged the time. I saw that, and applied for a position with Cendar the next day. I’ve never regretted it.”

This time I was weeping. I hadn’t been there, obviously, it was my twin. Still I couldn’t stop crying. “Thank you for telling me that Kim, I didn’t know,” I managed to say between sobs.

“You weren’t supposed to know Boss.” She replied. “Please just don’t ever change.”

“Come on Boss lady, time for some lunch and a shower. I’ll bet Vikki’s got your soup and Spam sandwich just waiting for you upstairs.” I let Linda lead me off.

Once again, Kate and I fused in intention and action. I’m certain I got the better deal. I racked my weapons, pulled off the Tactical Suit, shucked off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the shower. Linda helped me get cleaned up, and I pulled a flannel nightgown on. Sure enough, Vikki knocked on the door as soon as I’d put my robe on.

“Lunch Kate! Your order was called in for you. I hope you like these pickles, they’re not as sweet as you’re used to. Good job this morning, you brought everyone back in one piece, and without any holes! Just leave your dishes, I suspect you’ll be napping for a while. I’ll send someone to pick them up later. I’ve a nice roast cooking for dinner, and I’ll see you there. Bon appetite!”

“Lin, what’s going on? First the officers downstairs, now Vikki. Is there something no one’s telling me?”

“Are you that big an idiot? It’s a good thing I love you. Everyone is just saying “I Love You Kate and I’m glad you’re all right, but OMG that looked scary on TV.”

“But I explained, I really wasn’t in any danger.”

“Yeah, and who knows that? You, Hal, and me. And that only because Hal was ready to yell at you and damn near wet himself the first time he saw the video clip of you tossing in the flash-bang then rushing into the room. It LOOKED scary as hell! YOU looked HEROIC. Is it any wonder the people of the company just want to let you know they’re glad you’re okay?”

Sigh.

“Okay, I’ll grant you might be right. NOW I have to figure out how to teach special weapons and tactics for the next State Police class. A subject I know far less about than I’m credited with.”

I busied myself with my lunch, then shuffled off to the bedroom and continued my nap. I didn’t feel all that heroic, all I felt, really, was tired, and sore, and relieved, and embarrassed, and...

Steven’s Hall, 1800 hours EST, Friday, December 28, 2001

Linda insisted that I wear “something nice” to dinner. I was going to wear a pair of sweats, but apparently that was not allowed tonight. Instead, Lin stuffed me into a pale blue 16th century court gown, “just for practice.” I was truly glad the girls didn’t insist I wear authentic clothes. Then Linda fussed over my hair ‘til Lisa and Annie came up and when my back was turned, placed my coronet on my head.

“Okay, what’s the deal you two. Linda?”

“Don’t look at me, it’s your daughters’ idea.”

“Daughter’s’s as in both of them?”

“Yep.”

“Okay you two, I see you’re in garb (the word still seemed a bit silly), but why me? Why this” (I pointed to my gown, “and why this,” I pointed to my head.

“I’ll answer Lisa. One: why you? You’re the hero of the moment. Two: why the dress? Because of number one, and you need practice moving in it. Three: why the Coronet? Because you need practice wearing it, and it looks so good with your hair like that.”

She turned me around and I had to admit, “damn, she’s good at this clothing thing.” I did look special. The bruises on my face had faded, and Lin did a magnificent job on my makeup and hair.

I tried a curtsy at the two schemers, and managed to not fall down.

While Annie and Lisa had distracted me Linda slipped into a nice evening gown. “Well your Ladyship, are you ready for dinner?”

Two could play this game, “Why yes, your Ladyship, would you and the princesses care to make sure I don’t break my neck going down the stairs in this?”

I THOUGHT that would be the end of the nonsense. Little did I know. As we began down the stairs, from somewhere a staff struck the floor and a major domo called out: “Baroness Williams-Stevens, Countess Williams-Stevens, her highness Crown Princess Annie Stevens of the Canton of the Two Towers. Her highness Crown Princess Lisa Williams-Stevens, of the Barony of Stevens.”

Hal was waiting at the foot of the stairs, dressed in a tuxedo, with some kind of sash across his chest. He took Linda and me by the arms and escorted us past saluting guards in garb, and into “the Great Hall.”

Hermione outdid herself. From the roaring fire to the tapestries, everything was perfect.

Hal, gripped my elbow to bring me back to the present, and presented me to Jane. “Your Excellency, may I present Lady Stevens. My dear, her Excellency, the Governor of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”

Jane pulled me into a hug. “You clean up real nice Kate. You also looked really scary on TV tonight. Are you sure you’re not overdoing it?”

“Jane, thank you, no, but the evidence suggests I am overdoing it; I do know I hurt a lot. As for the tape? By the time I entered the room John Maxwell was well in hand. Truly, do you think any of my people would let me go into a dangerous situation?”

“When you put it that way, no. But my oh my have you set off a firestorm. EVERYONE who is ANYONE will be trying to get you to their parties. You are the media’s current darling! COPS wants to do a special episode with you.”

“Oh farf! Please say it ain’t so.”

Jane just laughed.

I took my place at the foot of the table and sat down, signaling that everyone should find their places and be seated. Linda sat to my right, Carol to my left. Jane to Hal’s right, Simon to Hal’s left. Everyone else was seated in some order I couldn’t decipher. Lisa and Annie were wearing garb and their new coronets. Two girls, obviously twins, sat next to Carol, and I presumed they must be Carol’s daughters. They were dressed nicely, but were clearly intimidated by the whole thing.

Hal gave thanks, and the kitchen staff began serving dinner.

“Oh my, is this new china?”

Teresa who had let me help her set the table on Christmas day curtsied and answered, “Yes Your Grace,” then skittered out of the room. The china was beautiful. Someone had created a crest (I was guessing Lisa and Annie). The outer rim was banded in gold, the inner rim in a deep azure blue. Lettering in gold circled the dish. In Latin, around the rim of each dish was written:

DEUS FIDELIS, ET ITERUM ATQUE ITERUM PROVIDET!

“Annie, who designed the china?”

“Lisa and I worked with an antiquarian in Boston on the crest. My Lord Stevens provided the household motto.”

“Twenty questions Annie?”

“I’m sorry Momma, your question was?”

“What does the Latin say?”

“Latin? What Latin?”

I heard Lisa giggle, “Let me try this again. Lisa, what does the Latin say?”

Lisa gave me a very, ‘oh my let me see’ look and answered. “Deus fidelis, et iterum atque iterum providet.”

“Very funny you two. Now, who is going to translate?”

Annie and Lisa looked at each other and replied in unison, “Translate what Momma?”

“You two are not going to answer, are you?”

The answer again, was in unison, “No Momma.”

“You say Hal provided the text?”

“Yes Momma.”

“Okay, let me try this another way, Lin, do you know what the plates say?”

“Yes, but I distinctly heard Lisa read it to you.”

“So your other mother isn’t going to tell me either girls?”

“No Momma.”

By this time the two girls by Carol were giggling bad enough they weren’t even pretending to eat their soup.

“Carol? Could you introduce us?”

“Certe domina. Ego, ut Siobhan et Maev. Virgines, hic maior est Baronissa Kate Stevens.”

The girl’s immediately continued: “Lorem vita Iesu Stevens domine.”

I gave serious consideration to planting my face firmly in my soup bowl. “Is everyone in on this?”

Anne and Lisa answered, of course, in unison, “Yes Momma.”

I picked up my soup spoon and gently rapped on my water glass. The room went silent. Hal asked, for everyone, “Yes Kate?”

“You all have certainly gone to a great deal of trouble with your little joke, but could someone translate the Latin on the china? Otherwise I begin speaking exclusively Russian, which I’m fairly certain no one near my end of the table understands.”

“You know, that might actually be worth it,” Hal replied. “Oh never mind. The English translation is God is faithful, time and time again He provides.”

Hal looked straight into my eyes.

“Oh.” I could feel my eyes filling with tears. I gently dabbed at the corners of my eyes, desperately trying not to cry. The meaning was clear. Hal was telling me God had provided my Twin, and then me.

After a very pregnant pause people began eating, and chatting again.

I turned to Carol, “Thank you for that lovely introduction. How do you tell which is which?”

With a merry twinkle in her eye she replied, “who says I do? Girls, which is Siobhan?” The girls pointed to each other, “She is,” they said then laughed.

“See,” Carol said.

“It must be nice having Trevor around. At least you can be sure he’s him, himself.” I grinned at the girls, who just giggled.

Well, I’ll tell you their darkest secret. Maeve has a second earing in her left ear, Siobhan has one in her right year.

“Momm! You weren’t supposed to tell! The two said in unison.

That set the tone for dinner. The girls were far more mature than I expected, and became more animated as dinner went on.

“Mrs. Stevens, it’s no nice you had swimsuits for us, Mom didn’t even THINK of that when we left home.”

“You are very welcome, did you go swimming?”

“Yes Ma’am, Lisa, Trevor, Tim, and Brad went with us.”

“Have you two had fun?”

“Yes, there’s so much to do, and so MANY people here to do things with!”

“That’s because we’re in a castle, right Mrs. Stevens?”

I laughed then answered. “Well it’s certainly big enough, but we don’t have any moats, big walls, or drawbridges. Hmmm… What do you think girls? Should I see about walls and a drawbridge?”

“Oh my GOSH. Really?”

“Maybe we’ll still be here when it’s finished.”

“Girl’s, if it’s all the same to you, how about calling me Aunt Kate?”

“Can we Mom?”

“Of course Maeve, we’re going to be here for a long, long time! ‘Aunt Kate’ has offered me a job here. What do you think of that?”

“Really? Are we going to school out here too?”

“Yes Si. You’ll be going to school out here too. The two of you may get to do a LOT of babysitting if you would like.”

“First Dibs, Mom.”

“No fair Si. Mom said both of us.”

“That’s not what she said, she said we both would get to babysit. As in you get one and I get one.”

“Have you two ridden the horses much?

“That is the best thing ever! They love being brushed, a LOT.”

“I’d like you each to pick out your favorite horse. Can you see them in your mind?”

“Okay, now I want you to write down the name of that horse, and sign it.”

“Fold the papers in half, and give them to me.” I opened them up, the first was Maeve and the horses name was “The Appleator.” Siobhan’s was named “Sunset Rose.”

“I’ll take care of the paperwork this next week. Those horses now belong to you, you’ll have to let other’s ride them if we need them for the camps we’ll be running, but except for that, they are yours. Oh, and I’ll pay for their feed and any vet bills.”

I’m sure Carol’s hearing was impaired at the two screamed their delight. They got up from the table and hugged me.

Actually, we MIGHT be setting up a day care center and hiring both of you!”

“Really Aunt Kate? That would be so cool.”

“Just wait girls, you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

This time it was the girls who responded in unison, “Thank you!”

It was one of the most enjoyable and memorable meals I’ve ever eaten.

At some point I asked where Tim, Brad, and Trevor were at.

One of the girls answered, “They’re just boys. THEY didn’t want to eat with the adults.”

“Just wait, you won’t be saying that soon, boys begin to look pretty good about the time you turn thirteen or fourteen.”

She scrunched up her face, gave a huge sigh, and said theatrically, “Maybe. I mean I know, but they’re sooo different.”

Her sister turned to her, “Duh, they’re boys,” as if that in and of itself were all that needed to be said on the subject. Carol and I shared a look, and laughed. Just as dinner finished Maeve pushed Si to come to me. “I have something we both want you to know.” She leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Thank you for saving Mom, my sister and me from another beating, or even worse. And thank you for keeping him from hurting any more women.”

I sat back, rocked to the very core of who I am. I looked in her eyes as they begin to fill with tears, then I looked Maeve in the eye, and it was also beginning to tear up as she gave me the very smallest of nods.

I think the two of them seeing me crying, staining my white silk blouse was the most important thing I’ve ever done. I nodded back, silently vowing to myself these girls would be learning three things before going back to school. First, NO FUCKING MAN would ever assault either again. Second, they would receive the very finest in self-defense training. And third, they would receive the training that would allow them to get a permit to carry a handgun. For a moment I felt a ghost of someone rubbing my back, a whisper in my ear, “My sister, what you felt is my small way of saying thanks.”

I closed my eyes and spoke to her subvocally. By your leave My Lady, thank you for that.

I was still very tired, and after dinner, stuffed and satiated, all I really wanted to do was go to sleep.

------------------

Stevens Hall, Saturday, December 29, 2001 0140 Hours

The phone was ringing. Tonight I was the closest so I reached over and muttered, “Oh this better be good.”

“Sorry Kate, it’s Andy. I hate like anything to wake you. We have a situation. I need to meet with you three, right now. Upstairs office. I’m having tea and coffee brought up. Jane needs to talk with you RIGHT NOW.”

“it’s okay, good night Andy.” I rolled back over, asleep.

The flippin’ phone was ringing. “Hello?”

“Kate, WAKE UP. Hand the phone to Hal or Linda.”

I handed the phone to Linda, “it’s for you,” I never even woke.

Linda answered the phone, “Hello?”

“LINDA WAKE UP NOW.”

“Huh?” she answered intelligently.

I suppose it was a good thing, ‘cause someone started pounding on the door. It dawned on me that it must be important when the door opened and the lights came on.
“Hal, wake up, and wake them up. Jane is on the phone. John Maxwell is dead.”

“Oh Farf!” I exclaimed. I’m not really sure where I got the word, but it seemed to put all the emotional crap I was feeling into a word not likely to get me in trouble with Linda.

Hal was handing me a robe as I grumbled. “I’m not going to sleep through the night this year, am I?” It was a good think the floor was carpeted, ‘cause I couldn’t even feel my feet, much less my slippers. Okay, that was an exaggeration. I stumbled down to the office, yawning and muttering imprecations under my breath.

Andy had the speakerphone turned on. “Good morning Jane, did you have a good night?”

“Ouch, I’m really sorry to wake you.”

“Oh, it’s okay, someone just called twice just before Andy turned the light on.”

Andy shook his head, “Kate that was me.”

My brain was only beginning to operate. I was up to the speed of an old PC. “Okay, I’m waking up. What’s going on?”

Andy spoke first, “Sorry Governor, I told her once; I can see it didn’t register.”

“John Maxwell is dead.”

“That’s a problem, isn’t it?”

“Yes Kate, it is. Maxwell was raped, then strangled in the protective custody module at Essex County jail. He was supposed to be on a suicide watch, no one knows anything. The PC module was supposed to be locked down, but someone, no one yet knows who, left the individual cells unlocked, and no one knows for certain when Maxwell was last checked in his cell.”

“Oh FARF!”

Jane asked, “Farf?”

“Don’t ask, she’s not really thinking yet.” Linda explained.

“You need me to tell Carol, don’t you?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“That’s why we pay you the big bucks, Major.”

“Low blow Jane, really low blow.”

“At this time in the morning I take anything I can get. Kate, I’m sorry. I’d have called you even if she wasn’t staying with you.”

“I know you would Jane, and believe it or not, when I wake up I’m really going to appreciate it.”

“The entire facility is on lockdown. I really shouldn’t ask, but will you watch over the investigation?”

“Jane, the bastard raped me. If I was awake, and a hundred pounds lighter I’d be doing handsprings.”

“Kate, that’s why.”

“Huh?”

“No one, especially when I leak your abuse at his hands, will think you have an axe to grind in finding his killer. Everyone will know you won’t rush to judgment. You will have to be certain before you name a suspect.”

“Jane, somehow I’m hoping when the sun comes up you’re going to rethink this. Okay, tentatively I’ll do it.”

“I’m sorry, but they are waiting for you at the jail.”

“Oh damn. Can I at least pull on my clean tactical uniform, or do I need to wake Annie to make me one?”

“I don’t care if you go in your birthday suit.” Jane snapped, “Wait, that would be bad. Yes, your tactical suit would be fine.”

“Okay Jane. Go back to sleep. I’ll talk to Carol then head to the Jail.”

I looked at Linda and Hal; “Why me? I’ve been a good girl I have, I have.”

“Forget it Eliza, I know better.”

I looked at Linda ferociously, “FARF!”

I went back to find my slippers, then went to the room Leo was in.

It appeared I wasn’t the only one still asleep, I tried knocking twice. I wound up pounding on the door, desperately hoping I wasn’t waking anyone else.

“Yeah? Oh, it’s you Kate, what’s going on?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure, what couldn’t wait until morning?”

“John Maxwell’s dead.”

“Oh damn. Carol’s going to be devastated.”

“Huh? I’m not thinking too well yet Leo, devastated wasn’t the word I was expecting.”

Leo patiently explained, “I think deep down she was hoping John would change.”

“Leo, even I know that wasn’t going to change.”

“Kate, you’ve a very different perspective. I knew John, and Carol since Junior High School. Once John was very different than you knew. He was kind and caring. I don’t really know where things went bad. John and Carol were this perfect couple. John changed, Carol never really accepted that.”

“Oh damn, and I thought this couldn’t get any worse. The Governor called to ask me to tell her, then to watch over the investigation into Maxwell’s death.”

“That’s just crazy.”

“That’s what I tried to tell her. She thinks that after she releases the details of my rape that everyone will be certain I won’t just, as she put it, “Rush to Judgment.””

“That actually makes sense in an ass backwards kind of way.”

“Will you go with me to tell her?”

“Let me pull some clothes on.”

“Leo, I hate to tell you, but Essex County jail is on lockdown, waiting on me. I’ll take as long as Carol needs me, but others are clamoring for my attention.”

“Okay Kate, I’ll keep that in mind.”

I went down to the office, to get a cup of coffee, I was really hoping it was a very high caffeine variety. That’s where Leo found me a few minutes later. Linda handed him a mug. Then the three of us went to tell Carol.

Carol must have been a light sleeper, she answered my knock on her door very quickly. “Kate! Leo, and Linda, what’s happened? Are the kids all right?”

“Carol, the kids are fine. The Governor called me a few minutes ago. I’m sorry, there was some kind of incident at the jail. John is dead.”

Carol stood there for a couple of minutes. “Thank you Mrs. Stevens. My children and I will leave in the morning.”

“Carol, there’s no need to leave. My understanding is the FBI are still investigating, and now this, it will be a while. I would ask that you stay here.”

“Isn’t it enough you’ve managed to kill my husband?”

I felt like someone had slapped me, HARD.

Leo intervened. “Carol, that’s not fair and you know it.”

I left the two of them and I walked back to my bedroom with Linda. It wasn’t right. I was a victim of that bastard and now I was losing another night’s sleep because of him. Worst of all, Carol thought I was somehow responsible. Hal came up behind me, and wrapped me in his arms. I turned around, buried my face in his neck, and sobbed.

“I know it hurts, but you’ve got to be moving,” he told me. “Carol will get it right in the morning.”

“Is life going to keep on doing this to me? I didn’t ask for ANY of this.”

Linda tried to shush me. “Hon, it’s not fair, it’s not right, but you need to quiet down before you wake everyone up.”

“Fine. Just fine!!” I grabbed a bra then stepped into my clean coverall. I dragged a brush through my hair, and put a minimum of makeup on. I was so damned upset I didn’t dare try to put any more on. I would have looked like a clown the way I was feeling.

Pulling my boots on, I snatched my duty belt out of the closet, and holstered my pistol. I jammed a few dollars, some change for the coffee machine, a lipstick, Kleenex and my ID in my pockets, and started to stomp down the hall to the stairs, Linda following behind me. Reaching the stairway, I found Carol waiting for me.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Maxwell. I have to leave. The Governor ordered me to supervise the investigation into the death of your husband. I really am very sorry for your loss.”

I tried to go around her when she grabbed at me. “No Kate! I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you, of all people, like that. Please forgive me.”

I stopped. With tears running down my face I turned to her. “Carol, I would never hurt you. Of course I forgive you. I’m tired, and haven’t really slept in three days? I think it’s three days. The entire jail is in lockdown, waiting on me. We’ll talk. I really am sorry.” I was crying, but so was she. It wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have to be the one responsible for her pain. Hell, it felt like my life was a non-stop horror show for nearly two months now. The worst part, there was no way I could get off the treadmill I found myself on.

“Honey, I’m sorry, you have to go.” Lin told me, handing me my helmet.

“Oh no you don’t!” A shout stopped me, again. I looked to see Sheila hastily pulling her zipper closed with one hand, gun belt and helmet balanced in her other. “I’m like your American Express card, you don’t leave home without me.”

Nodding, I accepted a hug from Carol. I’d turned to go when Leo came up to us.

“Kate, let me go with you. As John’s attorney my presence may help you.”

I just nodded and turned to go. Two of my officers were waiting downstairs, dressed the same as Sheila and me. One of them had the presence of mind to pack my briefcase with a few essentials, including a portfolio, my laptop, tape recorder/voice stress indicator, and some of Vikki’s baked goods. It wasn’t worth trying to tell any of them to stay. I just nodded, then continued down to the basement, and from there through the tunnel to the garage complex. The helicopter was waiting, rotor turning slowly. The five of us climbed aboard. The co-pilot handed a pair of headphones to Leo, I should have thought to have a helmet for him. Huddling in a corner, I lowered the gold lens on my helmet, and tried to nap.

“Kate,” Sheila shook my arm, waking me. “We’re there.”

I nodded, and climbed out. Pulling my helmet off, I left it in the helicopter and followed a deputy into the jail. First stop, gun check. Why, you ask, did I bring a gun if I was only going to check it in? Because. It makes no more sense than that. There are RULES. One said unless otherwise required, a police officer was to be armed. Like I said, just because.

People looked at me like I knew what I was doing. We were led into a medium sized room, a gurney, presumably with John Maxwell’s body on it, was against one wall. It really creeped me out. Not that I’d ever admit it. There was something just wrong about being responsible for him being here, then having his dead body just lying there. Leo walked over to the gurney, and reluctantly I followed him. A man in uniform, with the insignia of a Lieutenant, came over and lifted the sheet off of the face. There was no doubt. John Maxwell was dead. I really, really wanted to be glad, but with the memory of Carol’s words echoing, all I could feel was a numb feeling.

The man was the watch commander. Three other uniforms were the three correctional officers from the protective custody unit were waiting on me there. Additionally, attorneys from: the union representing the correctional officers, the Attorney General’s office, the District Attorney’s office, and the Federal Court were there. As if that weren’t enough, the Special Agent in Charge (SAIC) of the Boston field office of the FBI, and a court reporter were also there.

“I have to say your reputation precedes you Major,” the Lieutenant, Don Miller, said reaching out to shake my hand.

“Thank you, but you really shouldn’t believe everything you see on TV,” I said with half a smile.

“Ma’am, I wasn’t just speaking of Birmingham. Your tactics and principles have become the virtual bible for Special Weapons teams.

“Thank you Lieutenant.”

I shook his hand, and we sat down. “Gentlemen, my name is Kate Stevens. I’ve been asked by Governor Jane Swift to oversee this investigation. This is a task I do not want, and made that very clear to the Governor. You’ll hear the rest of this in the morning anyway, so let me be clear why I don’t want this. John Maxwell raped and brutally beat me less than two weeks ago. I still have a broken nose and collar bone. If I were whole, and 100 pounds lighter I would be doing cartwheels.”

“Unfortunately, the facts of that case will not be tried in a court of law. It is still under investigation by the FBI. I understand Mr. Maxwell’s property has been seized pursuant to RICO. I will ask the Federal Courts to rescind that seizure, Mrs. Maxwell is also a victim and does not need the added burden of being impoverished for the actions of her husband. This is especially true in the case of Mrs. Maxwell. She has been the repeated victim of his abuse.”

“The Governor decided that very fact would make me the one person without any political or personal reasons to influence my search for the killer. THAT is the only reason I let myself be talked into investigating this fiasco. I will do my duty, and complete it to the best of my ability. No one who knows me would believe otherwise.”

“Everything is going to be by the book. The “book” will be the laws of the Commonwealth, the Federal Government’s Correctional Procedure Code of 1986, and this facilities policies and procedures. Lieutenant, I’m also going to need a copy of your manual. No corners are going to be cut. It is my duty to find out what happened. I was asleep, for the first time in the last 72 hours when the Governor herself called to wake me up. I do NOT want to be adversarial to anyone here; I recognize in some cases it will be inevitable.

The gentleman with me is Mr. Leo Sweeney, esquire. Mr. Sweeney is, or rather was John Maxwell’s attorney. He also represents the interests of Mrs. Maxwell. In the last hour I’ve been wakened by the Governor, ordered to notify Mrs. Maxwell of her husband’s death, had Mr. Sweeney at my door, and traveled by helicopter to this facility, all after a very busy, very public three days. Mrs. Maxwell is not happy with me, the Governor, or the Commonwealth. I expect to hear from the State Police Commandant, and the Sheriff in the morning. Mr. Sweeney, and Mrs. Maxwell, while pissed to a fare thee well, have expressed their confidence I will make an honest best effort to see Mr. Maxwell’s killer is found and brought to justice.”

“I see a court reporter is present. I will be recording these proceedings. Please state your name for the record. I reached into my briefcase and pulled out the recorder and started it. “My name is Kathryn Elaine Stevens, Major with the Commonwealth State Troopers.” Each of the people the stated their name, and who they were with.

After consulting with their union attorney, the three CPO’s (Correctional/Police Officers) politely informed me they would not answer any questions at this time.

“Gentlemen that is your right. For the record, Lieutenant Miller, please read your Miranda continued, “That reading will constitute your full and complete notification of your rights under the US Constitution, for this investigation. Do each of you understand these rights? Again, you are required to answer by name… They did I’m going to dismiss the three of you in just a few minutes Warnings.” The lieutenant did, and I. When I do, you are specifically ordered not to speak to each other, except in the presence of your Union attorney or your own attorneys. By that I mean you are not to speak or communicate on the phone, or by any other means with each other. Let me make it clear, by my Authority, as the officer responsible for this investigation you will obey this order, or be locked up as material witnesses. In this, I speak with the Governor’s authority,” (and Jane had better back me up!!). “I do require that you answer this question. Do you each understand your rights as explained?”

Each of the three admitted they understood.

“Thank you. Lieutenant Miller, I need and require the video recordings of all cameras in this facility for the last two weeks, or if you do not have them for two weeks, all the tapes currently recorded, the duty roster for the last two weeks, the access logs for the last two weeks, and copies of the case files for all prisoner/detainees in the Protective Custody module (PC Mod). I need those before these gentlemen are dismissed.”

I turned to the Assistant Attorney General from the Boston Federal Court. “Mr. Franklin. Will you act as the party responsible for the original evidence in this case, and the chain of evidence for that material? And please, would you mind sending copies of everything to me?”

Bill Franklin agreed to my request.

“Agent Tatro (SAIC of the FBI), has your office agreed to be responsible for gathering the material evidence?” Agent Tatro responded affirmatively, indicating his lab was already processing the PC Mod. “Thank you, please preserve the chain of evidence and transfer of the material to Mr. Franklin.”

“A word of explanation. I’ve asked the Federal officials here to handle the evidence. This is not meant to cast doubt or suspicion on any particular group, or person. That is in fact the very reason they are being asked. No one will be able to cry the evidence was selectively gathered. This case is going to be scrutinized by the public. Since the correctional officer’s do not wish to proceed, as soon as the evidence, logs and videotapes, is delivered to the SAIC, and/or the Assistant Attorney General for the Federal Court, you will each have the opportunity to raise any objections you have with me to the Governor, or the Massachusetts’ Supreme Court. I will now allow any of you who wish to avail yourself of the opportunity to make a statement, while Lieutenant Miller gathers the video evidence.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. No one spoke up. “While we are waiting on the items from Lieutenant Miller, please feel free to discuss anything relating to this case.”

I sat back and listened. There was discussion of Commonwealth involvement in the lab work. A couple of attorney’s hashed out my rules. Another conversation came up about my alleged rape and beating. There was some question raised about my rank within the police structure of the Commonwealth. I explained I donated my time, and spent the majority of that time working with the Special Weapons and Tactics teams throughout the Commonwealth. They even wanted to discuss the action in Birmingham. That last I discouraged with a polite statement about not believing what the TV reported. No one really believed my modest answer. Somehow it had already seeped into the collective consciousness of the people of the Commonwealth, and I had become a “hero.”

FARF!!

“Officer Gilman, Officer Seuss, and Officer Adams, you are now dismissed. Until this matter is resolved you are on administrative leave, with pay, unless or until I am over-ruled or decide otherwise. This is not to be construed in any way to suggest you are a suspect. All of your rights will be scrupulously observed.”

“Unless anyone else has something to contribute I’d like for us to meet again on Monday, after lunch. Would this facility be convenient?”

I’m not sure they really thought it would be “convenient,” but no one raised an objection. “Lieutenant Miller, would you see to scheduling this room for 1300 hours? Last item. If any of you are not satisfied in any way, you are welcome to pursue a remedy through the Courts. We stand adjourned.”

I asked the transcriptionist to deliver the transcript to Mr. Franklin, with a copy to me. Then I thanked her for coming out at this ungodly hour.

Of course, every flippin’ person there wanted “just one minute, or two” of my time. Forty-five minutes later Sheila, Leo and I signed out, Sheila and I retrieved our weapons, and we left.

My other two officers, who I really wasn’t quite certain why they had come along, escorted us back to the helicopter, we boarded, and were headed home. Imagine my joy when I discovered it was only 0600. I groaned, five farfing hours.

“I have to tell you Kate, for being the middle of the night, you were awfully damned sharp in there. I would not want to be ANY of those attorney’s or the correctional officers.”

“I gave up nothing. It will take till Monday afternoon to get copies of those video-tapes, and to scan through them. Monday, I plan to begin discovery. I expect to spend some very late nights at that jail this week. You probably want to associate with a local attorney. www.youtube.com/www.youtube.com/You might have noticed I didn’t allow anyone to ask if you were admitted to the Massachusetts bar.”

“Actually, I did. Like I said, you’re awfully damned sharp, especially for someone who’s not a lawyer themselves.”

“Thank you Leo. I appreciate you saying so, even if it isn’t necessarily true. You might consider associating with Erik Moore and Liz Rodriguez Cendar’s Chief Counsel.”

Sheila, proving she was human, snapped at me, “Knock it off Kate, you WERE damned sharp. From the moment you walked in the room no one could doubt you were in charge, and not happy with it. By telling them all you were one of his victims you eliminated any hint of preferential treatment for anyone. If the Governor appointed you, and Leo and Carol accepted you, then everyone else HAD to accept you or look guilty and/or stupid. You gave them time to file complaints, but kept that time to an absolute minimum. THAT served notice there would be no nonsense tolerated. Hell, I know you and what you’re capable of and I’m STILL impressed.”

“Yes boss.”

“Damned straight, just don’t forget it or I’ll tell Lisa and Annie.”

“Oh no! Not that!” It was a sign of how tired I was that I laughed all the way back to the estate.

Steven’s Hall, Saturday, December 29, 2001, 0700

We staggered in through the kitchen, frightening poor Vikki half to death. Sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, I asked for some breakfast, but please no coffee or tea, I was headed to bed. That’s where Mom and TJ found us.

“I thought you gave up cops and robbers YEARS ago Honey. Did you lose your Barbie again?” Mom said pouring a cup of coffee.

“Don’t say anything yet to Annie and Lisa, but Maxwell was killed overnight, even though he was on a suicide watch. It’s a mess. I’ll give you one guess who got drafted by her friend the Governor to investigate. We just got off the helicopter. I am so tired.”

Of course, it was Kismet. Tom walked in just as I said that.

“Tired? You should have let me known, I have the industrial sized bottle of sleep meds in the basement, along with other THINGS I’ll use if you don’t take care of yourself.”

“What kind of things Tom?” My brother asked.

“TJ, just the usual doctor things. Needles, syringes, RESTRAINTS, just stuff like that.”

“If you all will just let me finish my breakfast I’ll go right to bed.”

“Oh go right ahead Dear, don’t let us stop you.”

“You’re not stopping me, I just don’t want to gross you out talking with my mouth full of food.”

“Are you are still eating?” Leo contributed.

“There’s nothing I can do to get you all to stop, is there?”

“You see TJ, in a couple more years YOU can be callous and cynical, just like your big sister.”

“Tom if I take my plate upstairs would be please bring me drugs Dr. Honey?”

I should have just suffered in silence.

“Good morning all,” Hal joined the bustling throng. I half way expected someone to ask if we would put in a train station in the basement. “Who are you calling Honey Kate?”

“Hal, why would you call her ‘Honey Kate?’” Predictably that was Linda, walking into my bad dream.

“Tom? I really think I’d rather sleep than eat. Would you meet me upstairs?”

Tom decided to let me off the hook, “Sure Kate. Why don’t I ask Vikki to heat this up?”

“Sure. Fine. Great!” Grumble, mumble. “Good night one and all.”

Behind me I heard, “I can’t believe how grumpy she is in the morning.” TJ snarked; it figures.

I dragged my body up the stairs, feeling virtuous (but exhausted) for not taking the elevator.

Carol met me going down, as I was going up. “Kate, you look terrible,” (I WAS glad someone noticed).

“I’m just tired. I’m so sorry Carol, it was John.”

“I’m not.” Carol sat down on stairs.

“Huh?”

“I realized something, sometime during the night, it was only a matter of time before John killed me, or God forbid raped or hurt one of my babies.”

Carol patted the stair next to her, so I sat down beside her.

“Leo’s wife Pam was my very best friend. We knew each other since elementary school. For fifteen years, or more, she tried to get me to leave John. You didn’t know John in school. He truly was wonderful. His family were all hard scrabble farmers, they didn’t have much, and John seemed happy just being with me. I was certainly happy then, being with him. In college something happened, I never figured out what. Pam thought it was being around people who had money. He became obsessed with getting and holding onto things, including me.”

“Carol, you don’t have to do this.”

“Hush, yes I do, for you, and more so for myself; I’ve never told this to anyone. You, I think, might actually understand. Anyway, I saw John change before my eyes. In the beginning I really tried to keep him from changing. Nothing I did seemed to make any difference. It’s the reason I had babies. John was FURIOUS when he found out I was pregnant, but after a time he was taking pride in the fact I was having triplets. It was like this great big pissing contest. He was firing triplets, our friends only had one child at a time. So, in his mind he was this super-stud.”

“Carol…”

“Let me finish. After the babies were born he made me get my tubes tied, and made sure all our friends knew it. So he never had to prove his virility, his “super-sperm” I once heard him call it. That was when he started getting abusive, especially in bed. He made me do, things. THINGS I didn’t want to do. He seemed to enjoy hurting me. It started with small things, like a slap on the butt. It got worse, as you know. He also began to sleep around. He’d leave for a day, or a week, once he was gone for a month. Then he’d come back from his “business trip,” and when he did, he would beat me.”

As she talked, the tears became steadier. I tried to get her to stop. She became more insistent in telling her story.

“The first time I was sure he was cheating was when my doctor, a friend of John’s, told me I had an STD. The doctor immediately called John and told him. That was the first time he broke one of my arms. Leo and Pam were livid. Pam called every day. She timed it so John never knew. Usually she called while the babies were sleeping. Leo and Pam were my babies’ Godparents. More importantly, she was my friend, my sister in all but blood. They doted on the babies.”

“Then Pam found out she had uterine cancer.”

“Oh no!”

She fought the cancer for years. I would pack up the babies and go visit her. No real reason, just to sit with her, to let her know of my love. Two years ago she lost her fight. Afterwards, everything went to hell really fast. It was as though he knew as long as Pam was alive there was a line he couldn’t cross. Actually, I think Pam scared him. She knew EVERYTHING. Without her, he would beat me almost all the time. I couldn’t leave the house, no parent-teacher conferences, no anything.”

Tom started up the stairs, saw the two of us, and went up the elevator instead.

“Shopping was all on-line. The kids stayed in their rooms anytime he was home. I know they heard me cry. They saw the bruises, the arm or leg in a cast, I think Maeve even told one of her teacher’s, because Social Service’s scheduled a home visit. John was on the City Council; the visit was canceled. That earned me a broken arm, and one eye was swollen shut for a week. My babies are smart. I think Maeve and Si realized telling anyone would result in a beating for me and they told Trevor. John would beat me, leave for a week, then come home and beat me again. It was this week I figured out those week long “business” trips were John’s cruises, and the rape of a woman.”

“Then this marvelous woman came along.” Carol pulled me into a hug. “John raped and beat her. Her husband and oldest daughter flew into the Cayman Islands and saved her life. She was strong enough, barely, to stand up to John. She had the resources to stop the violence. Thank you Kate. I owe you my life, I owe you the lives my children.”

I was crying so hard I couldn’t see straight for the tears. “I’m not very marvelous. I’m really pretty broken Carol. I tried to kill myself, damn near did. I’m just a good actress.”

“But you didn’t kill yourself. When the system turned him loose, YOU were the one who cared enough to open your home and your heart to Leo and me. Because of you John was re-arrested and thrown in jail. Leo also, probably owes his life to you. John would have had to kill him. You stopped him.”

“Carol, Hal sent the plane. I was so panicked Tom had to knock me out.”

“Hal told Leo he did it because that’s what you would want him to do.”

“He did? I didn’t know that.”

“He respects you. Yes, he loves you, but what you have, that so many women never find, are two people who respect you, and then love you. No matter how you started life, or how you got here, those are facts.”

“And so Kate Stevens, thank you. I’m glad he’s dead. It’s the only way my babies, Leo, or I would ever be safe from the monster he became. I’m sad for the man I loved, but he’s been dead for at least fifteen years. I can’t grieve for him any longer… or hope somehow he would change.”

“You know Leo loves you, don’t you?”

“Love? Leo’s the only friend I have, but he doesn’t love me.”

“Carol, you have at least three other friends in this house. You insisted on telling me, the least you can do is listen in return. He loves you.”

Carol pulled away from the embrace we were in and looked into my eyes, “Really?”

I couldn’t speak so I just nodded my head.

“So, I guess I owe you for that too.”

“No Carol, you don’t owe anything. All I’ve done is shown you a mirror.”

“Bullshit Kate. Sometimes you think like a man, wanting to fix everything other than yourself, then claim you didn’t do anything. You know that? You want me to believe you? Then believe in yourself.”

“I’m sorry. I am really tired.”

“Come on, you’re going to bed.”

“Huh?”

“I said come on, you’re going to bed.”

Carol pulled me to my feet and up the stairs. I really didn’t feel like fighting anymore. When we got to my room, she insisted on helping me, leading me around like a baby. I sat down and ate a few bites. After she pulled a clean nightgown out and made sure I changed, she tucked me in.

The last thing I remember is her kiss on my forehead. “Thank you Kate.”

Steven’s Hall, Saturday, December 29, 2001, 1515 hours.

Linda was in bed, shaking me awake. Correction, Linda was on the bed, not in it.

“Come on Alice, it’s time for the Mad Hatter’s tea party.”

“Huh? I’m sleeping.”

“Nope, time to get up. You will soon have 12 young ladies along with 20 or so, of Annie’s closest friends. Time to get up and shower. Besides, I don’t want you to be up all night, again.”

“Lin, what day is it?”

“Boy, you must have been tired. It’s still Saturday the 29th. It’s just after 3:00 pm. The girls are here. So, Milady, it’s time to begin making yourself beautiful, and I know that’s hard, but you have to try.”

“Hey, did you just insult me?”

“Oh no, I would NEVER do that!” Linda said; laughing like a maniac.

“How’s Carol doing?”

“Well, your mightiness, you seem to have worked a miracle, again. The last I saw she and Leo were sitting in the atrium holding hands.”

“That’s a blessing.”

“I’ll agree with that,” Linda had turned the shower on, warm, which caused me to wonder if she was feeling okay. Normally it would have been frigid. Still, I would take anything I could get.

“Apparently, your impromptu counseling session on the stairs is credited with working a miracle. Her kids, the girls in particular, think you can walk on water. Some of us are still holding out for slogging through the mud.”

“Do I get a vote? I’d vote for wallowing in clay.”

“Sorry, the worst you can settle for is mud.”

I stepped out of the shower, and Lin handed me a warm towel; a BIG, soft towel. “So how many telephone calls do I have to make, and what are the TV’s reporting?”

“Well, it seems the Governor is being credited with the smartest political move in the last 10 years, knowingly and more important, openly appointing the “most fair minded law enforcement officer in the Commonwealth” to investigate Maxwell’s death.”

“FARF! I really hoped something would happen and get me out of the hot seat. How in the hell am I suddenly a “law enforcement officer.” I’m a computer geek; okay geekette, and a businesswoman. I, well my twin, just taught a class occasionally. Anything more is mostly Andy’s fertile imagination.”

“Honey, as soon as you threw that grenade, then charged into that room, you were elevated to near mythic stature.”

“FARF!! I was making a promotional video. Okay, that’s not really true, but all I did was stand around and chat with politicians.”

“You really like that word, don’t you?”

“Don’t change the subject on me! Argh! I hope we sell a bazillion dollars’ worth of business in Alabama. Then it MIGHT make up for the BS. I wish we’d never gone on that cruise!”

“Don’t be an ass! If we hadn’t gone Carol would probably be in casts, again, if not dead.”

“Ouch, you’re right. I hate to admit it, but I’d rather be hurting then have that happen.”

“See, you ARE one of the good guys!”

“What has Lisa decided I’m wearing tonight?”

“You have to look regal for the SCA. Tonight you are wearing a green brocaded overskirt with a cream colored chemise. Your hair will be “normal,” but you will be wearing your coronet. Makeup will be evening subdued.” Linda cackled, “Just wait till you see your Ball gown Cinderella! And if you have a lick of sense you will not make a smartass comment about glass slippers. I do NOT put it past either Lisa or Annie to somehow commission a pair on Monday!”

“I’m doomed. You still haven’t told me what calls I have to make.”

“Hey, since when am I your secretary?”

“Honey, Sweetie, you are not my secretary. I was just hoping you might know.”

“Well, if you put it that way. Jane, but you probably assumed that. An Assistant Attorney General from the Federal Court would appreciate a call, Colonel Kincaid asks that you call, and the Essex county Sheriff really would like to speak with you. You have the personal cell phone numbers waiting for you in the upstairs office.”

While this conversation was happening Linda was “helping” me dress. A “combination” basically a pair of bloomers and a camisole in one, went on followed by a corset, followed by what looked like a roll of fabric padding on my hips, THEN the chemise. A petticoat that enhanced an overskirt which completed my ensemble. If I’ve forgotten something, I assure you, Lisa and Annie didn’t forget. Linda was very quick to point out everything was a faithful reproduction.

I felt like a tube of toothpaste. I was getting squeezed in half, and bulging out the top and bottom of the corset. My cleavage was truly spectacular.
sigh
Do my daughter’s REALLY think this was fun? Or was it some sick twisted female rite of passage I’d never heard of? I took scant comfort I was not wearing woolen underwear, nor hand knit stockings.

By the time Linda was done I had truly Barbie like proportions, just Rubinesque (LOTS bigger - think women’s size 26 or larger). I stepped into a pair of black flats, glad I’d put my foot down on having a pair of period shoes cobbled up for me. It felt good down to my sole. It was like taking uppers and I held out hope this trend would last; ‘cause if I disappointed my daughters I’d feel like a real heel, though I feared I’d have to put up with welts through the week (uh, the shoes part anyway).
[[ Dear reader, you probably have NO IDEA just how restrained this description truly is, nor how uncomfortable the clothes were. I invite you to visit one of the many colonial sites on the east coast staffed by volunteer antiquarians for a glimpse into the pure hell of period women’s clothing. Here’s one little hint: Dresses were sometimes fastened with straight pins; we know this from the rust stains on exemplars of Colonial period clothing. The very thought of that scares the living bejeebers out of me. For more information search on the “Costumer’s Manifesto” on-line. This is a site I sometimes visit when I need a good healthy dose of how good we really have it, living when we do.). Oh, and for that very special time of the month the source I read indicated there were no special underwear, apparently is just flowed. ]]

Pretty, powdered, pomaded, painted, pinned, pained, penned and coroneted I was allowed to make my phone calls. I started with the Federal AAG, figuring if anyone had pertinent information it would be him.

I picked up right away, “Bill Franklin.”

“Mr. Franklin, Kate Stevens returning your call.”

“I appreciate it. Please call me Bill. What a mess. I wanted to let you know I’ve spoken with the SAIC, and a packet containing copies of, or reports of the investigation as of noon will be couriered to you this evening. I’ve made it clear to every department the Court touches that you are to be cooperated with in every way legally possible. You have truly been shoved into the hot seat. For your information. I’ve read your deposition. It will be kept confidential. As of 10:30 this morning it was ordered sealed. That’s not a guarantee, but it is my commitment. “

“Bill, I appreciate that. I’d do almost anything to get out of being responsible for it. However, I also understand political expediency. Jane is going to owe me big time for this.”

“Yeah, I can believe that,” he said laughing.

“Thank you for coordinating with the SAIC. Are they sending this to everyone at this morning’s meeting, or only to me?”

“To you only. It will be your decision what to release and to whom.”

“Oh, this just keeps getting better. Okay, to the extent I can, I will be certain you are kept advised of what I receive.”

He laughed, “Very tactful, I wouldn’t dream of asking you send me everything. If it becomes necessary I will see about a subpoena. Holding this together is going to be a nightmare. You should know, now, the Court is taking an active interest in this, after seeing the rated capacity and actual inmate numbers. The Ninth Circuit Court has already ruled overcrowding a violation of civil rights.”

“Really? You mean I might not be the one who has to hold things together? I assume you will see anything the SAIC sends you.”

“Very, very tactful,” he laughed. “Thank you for calling, for what it’s worth, from everything I know, you are the best choice for the job. Enjoy your weekend, Major.”

“Ouch, paraphrasing Forrest Gump ‘tactful is as tactful does.’ Enjoy your weekend too.” One down.

“Samuel Love.”

“Sheriff Love, it’s Kate Stevens returning your call.”

“Major, before I blow a fuse, can you tell me why the hell you shut down my jail last night?”

I could see we’re going to get along famously. “Sheriff, in accordance with Federal law, you are hereby notified that any telephonic communication between you and I will be recorded. This declaration is deemed to be full and complete, and satisfies all legal statutes for all future conversations. I started recording after your last words.”

“Sir, respectfully, I didn’t shut it down. As a point of fact I am the one who re-opened it. Can you tell me what happened from your point of view? I’d much prefer we get off on the right footing.”

This man was stoking his own fires. “Major did you or did you not deliver a man to my facility with the instructions he be treated as a suicide risk?”
“Yes I did Sheriff Love, that was based on a conversation with the man’s attorney, and his wife.”

“Oh.

“He was dead less than twelve hours later.”

“To the best of my knowledge that is the case. In answer to the next logical question, yes, both Mr. Maxwell’s attorney and I personally identified the body.”

“Then after his death, you ordered three of my CO’s out on administrative leave.”

“Not quite. Governor Swift called me some time after 1:00 am. I was ordered to YOUR jail. I was told your facility was locked down, and would stay that way until I approved its reopening. The CO’s on-duty in the protective custody module were relieved of duty, with pay, as the minimum I was legally required to do. Putting them on-leave was preferable to the alternative of having them held in the Federal lockup as material witnesses, something I could have done. I could have ordered the entire shift onto administrative leave. Please keep that in mind. Sir.”

“Do you have any idea what that would mean? Do you have any idea what that would cost? How in the hell could you even think of such a thing?”

“Probably because that is part of the Federal Correctional Procedures guides of 1986.”

“And you know that how?”

“Because I’ve read the damn thing. Something I suggest you do. When I finish with you I will immediately request a ruling on that point by the Federal Court. You choose. Today or Monday at 8:00 am. By the way, I’ve already been appraised the Federal Court, on its own initiative, is examining whether any civil rights violations have occurred. I’ve also been told case law from the Ninth Circuit Court already establishes overcrowding as a prima facie case. ”

“What?”

“I thought I was clear. If there is any administrative problem with my supervision of this case I will immediately seek a ruling, in an emergency filing with the Boston Federal Court. This was not my idea. I don’t want to supervise this investigation. I’ve made that fact known to everyone who will listen. I do not wish to fight with you, but I will not be browbeaten by you. You will cooperate to the fullest extent of the law, or you be placed on leave alongside with your CO’s.”

“Damn Major, I’m just seeking clarification. Don’t get so defensive. What’s with you? Did you get out of bed on the wrong side this morning? Are you not feeling well? Is it just the, uh, wrong time?”

“Actually, I woke up two hours ago, after the first eight hours of sleep I’ve had in four days. I didn’t get that last night because something happened in YOUR jail. Nor is it the “wrong time.” If you are implying I am menstruating then you are in so many different kinds of trouble, starting with violating MY civil rights. You would hope you only lost your job for sex discrimination. So, I’m actually feeling pretty good, thank you for asking. The tone of this conversation began when you said: ”before I blow a fuse, can you tell me why you shut down my jail.” I’ve always adopted the common understanding of the phrase, meaning “before you get angry.””

“You misunderstood me.”

“Sheriff, I have nearly perfect recall. I also wrote down what you said, when you said it, with the date and time. If I misunderstood your meaning, then perhaps you will call me Monday morning, before 8:00 am. If I don’t hear from you by then I will be forced to ask the Federal Court to order your compliance. If that happens, you better hope that is all they order.”

“Major, I apologize. Perhaps I came off stronger than I should have. I would prefer to cooperate with you, and seek your cooperation in return.”

“Then Sheriff, perhaps we should continue this conversation Monday morning, say 0730?”

“Yes Ma’am that would be fine with me.”

“Thank you Sheriff. I will see that you receive all the evidence I am able to provide you. You can expect the first packet of information at the start of business Monday morning, certainly before 10:00. Enjoy your weekend.”

“Goodbye Major Stevens.”

Damn, I did NOT need that. Two down.

“Jim Kincaid.”

“Is this some weird law thing I don’t know about, answering the phone with first and last name? Hi Jim, it’s Kate.”

Laughing, he answered, “No Kate, it’s just how I do it. Why?”

“Well, the Federal AAG, then Sheriff Love, and now you all answered my calls that way.”

At that he laughed again. “Well, I watched the news today, and what do you know, my protégé was again prominently mentioned. Again. This is just a friendly call saying if you get any static, call for help if you need it. Knowing you, you won’t, but don’t feel like you’re all alone.”

“Thanks Jim. Tell me about Sam Love.”

“I wish you’d have called me first. He’s a real piece of work. His heart is in the right place, but he has either 51 or 53 cards in his deck, never the normal 52.”

“So, his being a jackass isn’t personal?”

“No. He usually tries to establish that he’s in charge. He can be a little rough around the edges. I take it he didn’t make a good impression?”

“Nope. I had to play the Federal court card, and the Federal Correctional guideline cards before he saw the light.”

“Good. As long as he knows where he stands he does a great job. You being brought in by the Governor was a real slap in the face, at least to him, despite the Governor meaning no such thing. My offer still stands. If you want me to be the bad guy I can.”

“Jim there’s nothing about this that I wanted. Hell, I complained to Jane, I complained to everyone in the jail this morning. I was ordered.”

“Blame me Kate. Jane called me before she called you. You were my idea, and I stand by it.”

“Does this mean I get to start collecting a salary?”

“I wish. If I could have hired you away from Cendar I would have done so a long time ago. By the way, you made us all look good with the operation night before last.”

“Jim, don’t believe what was on TV. My officers have made it clear to me they are pretty cheesed off. It has been “suggested” that I not put myself at risk. Not that I was.”

“Kate, I saw you toss in a flash-bang and then go into a room with a suspect known to be armed and very dangerous.”

“Jim, Andy went in ahead of me. Do you think there’s any way in hell he would let me be hurt?”

“Well, no.”

“I don’t know who leaked that tape, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was Hal. We haven’t “talked” about it yet.”

“Don’t bother. You had a ringer. A Birmingham TV station was on-site, with a moderately long lens. The PR people went nuts over it.” Jim started laughing again, “But really Kate, a computer in your Tactical suit? Nice concept by the way. If you do develop something like that for the military I want to prototype it for you.”

“Zing! You got me. They were eating it up by the bowlful. I was just kind of developing a concept as I talked. You can bet we’ll be looking into it. Putting a computer in the TAC suit is easy. Some kind of pointing device is too, so is the facial recognition. It’s the display that’s the problem. The helmet is really pricey. The military spends tens of thousands of dollars on each one; at least according to what I can find out.”

“Well, keep it in mind.”

“You’ll be the first to know, at least as soon as we don’t have a classification problem. Who knows, maybe I’ll see if the R&D guys can take a crack at it. I certainly would love to have something like that. Uhmm, what are you and Stella doing New Year’s Eve?”

“Working, same as usual.”

“Working, working, or working from home?”

“Working from home, why?”

“Why don’t you guys come over here? You won’t recognize the place. I think there’s a couple of things you should probably learn about, from me.”

“The Kate me, or the John me?”

“What did you say?”

There was a very pregnant pause before he spoke again. “To my certain knowledge, outside the Federal Court, I’m the only person in the Commonwealth, elected or appointed, who knows anything about it. When one of my officers, even as one as informal as you are, is deposed by a Federal investigator you can bet I’ve a pretty good idea.”

“Which one of us is underestimating the other? There is one other “Commonwealth official” who knows.”

“How about both of us? Yes, if you’d like, Stella would love to come over, and so would I. You have been completely honest and above board, even to filing with the SEC. Relax. I never would have guessed if not for the deposition, and from all accounts you’re doing one hell of a job.”

“There is one other “official” in the Commonwealth who knows. As of this morning, that deposition was sealed by the Court.”

“I suspected she knew, but I wasn’t going to say anything. Now I didn’t know about it being sealed! In that case it doesn’t exist. The only copy anyone had, apart from the Court, was shredded and burned, by me.”

“Thanks. The I, me, owes you one. Come on over, I’ll tell all, and so will Hal or I’ll have his toenails pulled out some night.”

“If I don’t hear from you before then, Happy New Year’s.”

“Thanks Jim, you too. Bye.”

On the third ring, “Hello?”

“Hi Governor Swift, this is your good friend and political supporter, who sits on the Girl Scout board with you.”

“Uh, oh. Hi Kate, imagine my surprise!”

“I’ve a note to call you, though I would have anyway.”

“That good, huh?”

“Why oh why do I have a communications desk that has you on the speed dial?”

“Because, you are my “good friend and political supporter, who sits on the Girl Scout board with me.” I’m sorry Kate. Jim Kincaid had a great point. If things came out wrong, the fallout to you could have been devastating. I knew you wouldn’t want to. I also knew you wouldn’t say no, and most importantly you would do the best apolitical job anyone could ask for. This way we’ve started an investigation, we’ve insisted on transparency. The one person NO ONE could accuse of wanting to find a scapegoat is leading the investigation.”

“So Jim explained to me. You’re right. I wouldn’t tell you no if there was any way I could help it.”

“I’m sorry Kate.”

“Don’t be. You two are right. By the way, Jim knows.”

“Sorry Kate, maybe I’m slow, knows what?”

“About me, myself, and I.”

“How?”

“I was deposed by the Feds the day after I regained consciousness.”

“Kate, is there going to be a problem?”

“I don’t think so. The deposition was sealed this morning by order of the court.”

“Good. Is there anything about the investigation to tell me yet?”

“Not really. I’m expecting someone from the FBI to drop off some documents this evening. Mainly copies of evidence collected, reports taken, that sort of thing. Oh, and guess what?? The Federal Court in Boston has taken an interest in the overcrowding. No, I didn’t sic them on the case.”

“I won’t jostle you’re elbow. I neither expect nor want you to tell me everything.”

“Thanks Jane. So far it looks like personalities are going to be the biggest problem.”

“Sheriff Love?”

“Bingo. He started to read me the riot act, and I kind of tromped on his toes to get his attention. He was wrong and apologized, but he’s not happy with me.”

“Do you want me to call him?”

“I don’t know. I can’t ask you too. If he is afraid I’ll tattle to you, he’ll cooperate, with all the grace of an elephant.”

“Okay. If I call him, it will be because of other sources.”

“Tonight should be impressive. I don’t know why I even ask, but do you have a costume?”

“The proper term is garb.”

“Lisa and Annie have already talked to you.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, you might give Jim a call, suggest full formal uniform and evening gown New Year’s Eve?”

“Uniform for Jim or Stella?”

“You are a person with a weird sense of humor.”

“Coming from you I take that as a compliment! See you soon.”

“See you then, bye.”

Who woulda’ thunk it? Me, dealing with this kind of thing. It was 6:30, I wandered into the bedroom, looking for Linda. No luck, so I took the elevator down and went looking for her. Ack! Peeking out, I could see four livered guards. Someone looking important with some kind of staff at the foot of the stairs.

Annie caught me. Rushing over, she does this deep curtsey and holds it. Then she whispered to me, “Mom, tell me to rise, or get up, or something. This is killing me.”

Duh, now it’s assumed I know court etiquette. “Rise My Lady.”

Okay, now everyone is bowing or curtseying, this could get old really fast. “Please, carry on as you were.”

“Mom, you need to go back upstairs?”

It’s been a long, long week. “Huh?”

“You haven’t arrived yet. YOU are the last one to enter, and the first one to leave.” Annie graciously reached over and grabbed my arm in some weird hold and led me back to the elevator. On the way up, she stamped her foot and snarled, “Don’t you DARE embarrass me or Lisa in front of our friends.”

“Honey you know I’d never do that. I just don’t know ANY of this. Leading a commando raid on a Motel is easy, investigating a murder is easy, this stuff…”

“WHAT murder.”

“Oh Damn.”

“Maybe we need to sit down and talk.”

“It can wait, how are Lisa and her friends doing?”

“They are all here, they’re getting dressed. Sit, so tell me what’s going on?”

“John Maxwell is dead. He died while under a suicide watch. Apparently murdered. Jane called at about one in the morning and told me I had to conduct the investigation, and I was asked to tell Carol. I’m surprised you didn’t hear the helicopter leave. I was at the jail for hours. Then Carol and I talked forever when I returned. It’s been a very long week.”

“Wow! No one said anything, though come to think of it Leo and Carol were holding hands in the atrium. I just didn’t really think of it.”

“I guess that’s my doing too.”

“What?”

“Carol and Leo. Surely you noticed how he feels for her.”

“Oh no. You TOLD Carol?” Annie is doing this jumping thing while still sitting; immediately I knew she thought it was the right thing to do.

“Yes. I probably saved them HOURS of bliss.”

“You JUST CAN’T HELP it, CAN you?”

“Huh?” I’ve been saying that a lot today.

“I swear. You could see two people in New York City, talk for thirty seconds, then introduce them, and they’d be engaged before your taxi came.”

“Not. Helping.”

“Mom, no matter what else I say to you tonight, you are incredible. Both of my other Mom’s would be proud of you. It’s no wonder Dad can’t tell you apart. The longer I know you, the harder it is. I love you.”

“I love you too Princess Annie. I love you as much as any mother could ever love a child. You are my daughter.”

Another thing I never thought I’d learn. It’s kind of hard to hug another woman when you’re both in a corset.

“Don’t you dare make me cry! The first Kate used to say that to me.”

Too late, for either of us. Fortunately there was a giant economy size box of tissues close by. As soon as we could, Annie fixed our makeup. I could have done it, but she seemed to need to. That was where Lisa found us. Teary eyed, and not really certain if we were going to cry more or not.

“What’s going on? Everyone except you is waiting!”

“Just a little Mother-Daughter moment, Sis. Do you have any idea how special she is?”

“Duh, I was her first born child. How much more special could she get?”

“Lots Sis, Lots. One of us will need to stay with her, she’s not really very well versed about how to act as a Queen.”

I wished fervently she had used a word other than “Queen.”

“That’s a good idea. Mom, just remember that YOU are the important one. Everyone else is “less than the dust beneath your feet.””

That was helpful.

“Have either of you seen your other mom or your Dad?”

“Oh they’re both downstairs

“Shouldn’t Hal escort me, or whatever in?”

“Lisa and I decided he was a Baron through marriage. YOU are Baroness Stevens.”

“Can someone tell me why I’m doing this?” I should have known. Rule twenty-seven: Never pose a rhetorical question to your two daughters. It was tag-team time.

“Because it’s fun?”

“Because we get to play dress-up?”

“So Lisa and I can be famous?”

“Because it is SO cool?”

“Because the SCA is THE neatest thing ever?”

“Because it gives us a sense of belonging?”

“Because you love us?”

“Because Mom decided you had to.”

“Because I…”

“WAIT, What? Your Mom said I had to?”

“Oh Farf.” That was Annie.

“You weren’t supposed to know that.”

“Annie, don’t steal my made up words. It’s the only defense I have against a cruel and heartless world. Otherwise I might be muttering language that would get my mouth washed out with soap. THEN Linda would get creative. You do NOT want to see Linda get creative. Trust me.”

“She’s right Sis. Mom at her creative best would come up with something, heaven alone knows what, and we’d all suffer.”

“Really Lisa? Wow, that’s almost temptation enough to try it. Just to see.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Do NOT go there! It’s like with Dragons. “Remember you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!”

Annie gave me a look of something, I wasn’t sure what. Maybe hunger? “SEE MOM!! You CAN do this!! THAT’s the spirit that makes SCA GREAT!”

Farf. “Girls, I have decided. It is time to grace the hall with Our presence. Please lead the way.”

Lisa was clapping. I was ignoring it. With my nose up high I made little shooing gestures. “Darlings, please, We wish to join in the jocularity, lead the way.”

The terrible two led the way. At the top of the stairs, we hesitated, allowing each girl time to be announced to the throngs as we were arriving. Finally, I stepped on the stairs, and somewhere downstairs a voice announced me.

“Her Grace, Duchess-Stevens, Countess Williams of the Canton of the Two Towers, Princess and heir presumptive Australicalifornium. Imperious Rex. Lady Williams-Stevens, Queen Mother to Princess Annie of the Canton of the Two Towers, Queen Mother to Princess Lisa Stormhausen of Europa. Grande Dame de la commande Victoria. Defender of the Faith. Grand Dame of the Golden Fleece. By the Grace of God ruler of all She surveys. Fundamentum et imperium. Through adversity Justicar Bostonium, Titular head of the Order Judicium Omnis. Grande dame Victoria Grand-Guides de style. Victore Sceleritas. Grand Order of the Monongahela, Knight Commander of the Order of the Grand Canyon. By right Defensor Omnes, Cautor Omnes, Justica Omnes. Marin Banc de Sable Port. Yngvi est un pou. By conquest Justina Meridies. Donec in augue portu navita. Grand Defender Possiltum. Grand défenseur de la Nouvelle-Angleterre. Numquid morte liberat te. Grand Dame Decendant Victoria Britannia Rex. Fleurs pour Algernon. Fille de l'acier inoxydable Rat. Lady of the Misty Mountain. Knight Triumphant of the Commonweal. Guarantor Bar Sinister. Inquisitor Chad. Lady Eniacosium. Reader Scientium Fictones, Unixorium Datum Thaumaturge. Keeper of the Peace and Champion of all.”
Wow. Even I was impressed. I didn’t understand most of it, but I was impressed. By the time he was done, I’d descended to the first floor. Hal was there, looking magnificent in a scarlet and gold tunic, coronet, and long hose. I almost laughed at his codpiece, it seems my titles weren’t the only thing exaggerated! At his side a gorgeous officer’s sword with the Eagle, Globe and Fouled Anchor of the United States Marine Corps – something I’d not known before, He bowed, “My Lady.”

I curtsied and replied, “My Lord Husband.”

[[Author’s note: Please, be gentle kind reader there may be contradictions within the title. Said statement notwithstanding, There are five science fiction books or series scattered amongst the title and orders.]]

Annie and/or Lisa had found a group of six musician. I recognized only some of the instruments. The music started back up, I took Hal’s arm and began to circulate. Annie and Lisa traded off watching over me. Embarrassment was NOT an option. I can’t even begin to describe the clothes. It was as if some Mad Giant spilled his paint set over the guests. Annie’s friends were marked by the calm assurance of long practice. Lisa’s, on the other hand, were preening, gossiping with each other, and barely noticing their escorts who valiantly continued their Courtly manner.

One person stood out. Probably the one person I least expected, or wanted, to be there. Pastor Johnson of our church in California. He was dressed in the clothes of a priest, complete with cross, authentic to the sandals. He was introduced as “Reverend Father John.” As was appropriate, he gave me a small bow of his head. “My Lady, thank you for inviting us.”

Better to be hung for a sheep than a lamb… I curtsied - deeply, “Father, it is you who blesses this gathering with your presence. Please, when we sit for dinner would you ask the blessing?”

He never broke character, but I could see his eyes widen in recognition. “Thank you Milady, I would be honored. Perhaps we could talk tomorrow?”

“Thank you Father, I would like that. I will certainly be grateful for your counsel, judgment, and advice.” Two can stay in character. “Thank you for escorting such charming young ladies, truly the night would not be complete without them. They have brought great joy to my Daughters, Princess Annie, and Princess Lisa.”

“It is you who have honored us. Your exploits are spoken of far and wide. I’ve yet to meet your oldest daughter Annie, Lisa is of course an old and beloved friend of my daughter Courtney.”

“The Town Criers seldom reflect the truth, the coverage this week has been embarrassing to us. Tomorrow we’ll talk, and any questions will be answered.” I curtsied deeply to him again.

Lisa came to my side, “Momma, I didn’t know he’d be the chaperone till he got here, and then I forgot to tell you before. I’m so sorry.”

“BabyGirl, I think the time for pretense and hiding are coming to an end. It was only a matter of time. After that stupid mess in Alabama it became a certainty, which I would have known had I thought it through. John Maxwell seems to be a mill stone, and he will drag me down if I let him. That’s not going to happen. Dry your eyes. This is your’s and Annie’s party. Enjoy it, as I will. God will bring what He will bring, it’s our job to figure out how it is His blessing. It’s okay. Smile Princess of Europa, in some ways this is your “coming-out” party. In a different way it may be mine.” I smiled at her, willing her to accept my strength and peace.

“Thank you Momma, it’s wonderful to have you in my life. I love you.”

“I know BabyGirl, I know.” Wonder of wonders, she smiled. “How are Maeve and Siobhan enjoying the party?”

“It’s like a game of grown-up dress-up. They are having fun. So are Carol and Leo, she’s hanging on his arm smiling.”

I spoke to her loud enough that others could hear. “Go little Butterfly, spread your wings and fly! See that your friends are having fun!”

She curtsied, “Yes your Grace. Might I introduce my Ladies in waiting?”

“Certainly Daughter.”

This was her cue to introduce each, one-by-one, I smiled, and tried to make each one feel special. Hal had a photographer taking pictures, and I asked that he take pictures of the girl’s, with me, Lisa and Annie. These girls were going to have a good time and take home memories, GOOD memories, if I had any say in the matter at all.

After the introductions were done, the guy with the staff banged it on the floor and announced “Dinner is served. Gentlemen, please line up with your ladies, behind her Grace, and enter to find your place.”

Hal and Linda joined me. Linda had noticed Pastor Johnson, but not been able to tell me before he spoke with me. The two of them looked defiant, and proud. We entered the hall, and after Hal seated me, then Linda, and took his place at the head of the table, everyone joined us. As soon as they were seated, I gently tapped on my goblet and when I had everyone’s attention announced, “I have requested the good Father to ask God’s blessing.”

Pastor Johnson said Grace, and the dinner began. Tonight was like last night. Only more so. Seven courses, half were small, almost bite-sized. Last night I’d had the chicken, tonight the beef. At the end of the meal, I thanked everyone who attended, and told them I would enjoy their presence on New Year’s Eve. The good father dismissed with a prayer. I was ready for bed.

My only regret was I didn’t get a chance to talk with Carol and Leo.

When we finally were behind closed doors, the three of us undressed as quickly as possible. I really shouldn’t have complained. Linda’s outfit was even more complex than mine, but with each other’s and Hal’s help we peeled each of us out of our gowns, corsets, et. al., ad nauseam. Talk about unfair. Hal was ready for bed, in his jammies in five minutes, I didn’t even have the Dress off. Ugh.

You know, almost everything in my life “fit together” better as a woman. But there were a few things, like complicated torture devices disguised as 16th century clothes, that I could do without.

sigh

We were all changed for bed, it was still comparatively early, only 11:30 when we finally got in bed, and held a council of war.

Linda asked, “What are we going to do about Pastor Johnson?”
Hal questioned whether he could be bribed.
I spoke up. A voice of dissent crying in the wilderness. “I don’t think we need to do anything about him. The question should probably be how are we going to handle my being exposed as transgendered?”

Hal replied, “Huh?”

I kissed him. I was tired of being the only one who said that! “Neither I, nor either of you two big brains really thought about what we were doing going to Birmingham. I was desperate to deal with his threat, and you two rightfully agreed with me. But, as soon as that damn tape surfaced on the network news it was only a matter of time before I was exposed. We should probably be grateful for the weekend to try and gracefully explain what has happened, our actions, our transparency by doing everything we were required by law to do, and then move forward and let the chips fall where they may. Our stock may take a bit of a hit, but even that will most likely be very transient. Between us we own an absolute majority of the company. That tape says it all. “Yes, Kate died in September. John was transgendered, as attested to by his doctors: Tom, Norma, Saul, and the two quacks I saw in November. Hell, maybe even the doctor on the cruise ship. Yes, John undertook her role after being asked by Hal and Linda. John has physically become the woman he was mentally, legally becoming Kate, and has reinvigorated Cendar, and is damned competent. You don’t like it? One man paid for that with his life.” You’ve seen the tape. End of story.”

Hal looked up in wonder. “You would do that?”

“Idiot, she already has, or didn’t you notice?”

“Yeah, what she said!”

“It might just work,” Hal said, turning things over and over in his mind.

“Uh, if I could make a suggestion? Pastor Johnson has already said he wants to talk. I would enlist his help if he’s willing. He very well may be. He’s a very fair man, and didn’t run screaming into the night. Let’s all get up nice and early, wake everyone up to go to church. Uh, we were going, right?” Hal and Linda nodded. “Good. Then after brunch see if Norma and Saul, probably Erik, certainly Leo and Carol ‘cause they will be effected by this, Annie, Lisa, Tim, Mom, TJ, and Pastor Johnson, and just lay it out, as it happened, though we don’t have to go into all the details, and ask them all to help.”

Linda contributed, “The worst thing he can do is say no, and we understand exposure will happen regardless.”

“Probably should see if Jane could come,” Hal suggested.

We sat there, just kind of staring at each other. “Let’s give it a shot.”

Linda and Hal sat there nodding.

“Then let’s go to sleep. I’m still tired.”

“You have been busy caterpillar. It looks like it’s time to truly become a butterfly!” Linda teased. Hal turned the light out, and we went to sleep.

COMDEX, Chapter 13,
“Every Ending Is Just A Beginning,
You know
And Goodbye Is Just Hello.”

“With Everything Changing”
UWP 1970
-------------------------

A telephone ringing in the middle of the night is never a harbinger of glad tidings. I’d been asleep for maybe two hours. I was still the closest one to the phone, I should have learned last night.

“Hello?”

“Kate, it’s Andy. Jane is on the line, and she’s NOT happy.”

“FARF!!!” I screamed, instantly waking Linda, and Hal who jumped out of bed and headed to get a gun or something. Fortunately for Andy I’d covered the phone first. “upper office?”

“Yeah, you sound more alert tonight.”

“There’s a reason for that you know, I slept all day. I was really tired.”

“Yeah, I know Kate, I’m sorry. Uh, it happened again.”

“What ‘it’ are we talking about? I’m not yet awake.”

“Another prisoner has been killed in the protective custody module.”

“FARF.”

“I’m proud of you, that one was subdued.”

“There’s only so much adrenaline in the body, I used up today’s supply sometime last week. I’ll be in the office, five minutes or less.”

I was already in my robe, headed for the door by the time I’d told Linda and Hal, asking them to hurry.

I dialed “0” for the Cendar watch desk. “Good morning, this is Lars.”

“It’s Kate. I need as many forensic people, with their kits, as you can get a hold of. I’ll meet them at the Essex County Jail within an hour. Can you scramble a helicopter and alert Patrick and Sheila?”

“Yes Ma’am, Andy already alerted me to the possibility.”

“Thank you Lars. I really appreciate it.”

“Not at all Kate. You did a fantastic job the other night.”

“Thanks Lars, goodnight,” noblesse oblige.

Linda and Hal came in, closely followed by Andy, and surprise, one of the kitchen staff, Anna with coffee and hot water – and a loaf of sticky cinnamon raisin bread, still warm from the oven!

“Hi Jane. I’m going to kill something.”

“Kill two, one for me. There’s been another murder in the protective custody module.”

“Damnit, I am not Umberto Eco, and I am NOT playing the Name of the Rose with ANYONE.”

“Good girl. Take a big stick. I’ve already told Sam Love if he had the sense of a newborn sandbag he’d better get his happy ass to the jail before you get there.”

“Jane, I’m shutting the protective custody module down. Everything else will be locked down until further notice. Who’s been notified?

“The usual suspects.” I heard a very evil giggle coming from Jane.

“That’s really low Jane.

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist. Where are you sending the prisoners?”

“I don’t know, but I’m requesting an emergency hearing before the Federal Court, as independent investigator. I need to clarify who’s doing what to whom.”

“I think that’s wise.”

“Jane, I’m going through that place with the FBI, State, and Cendar evidence teams. Each will backstop the other two. The CO’s who were on both nights are out, as of now, Jim is going to scream like a Banshee.”

“Again, I don’t think there’s anything else you can do.”

“This time it’s going to be ugly. I’m going to take a big hit. My past is going to catch up with me within ten days. I was going to ask you over for lunch so you could hear, and be part of, the discussion.”

“Okay, I owe you at LEAST that much. Just find the son of a bitch. I suggest you take Simon along.”

“Brilliant, if someone’s cooking the logs he’ll find it.”

“Do we know anything about the deceased?”

“Not really, his name is Bartholomew James. White, 36 years old, arrested on suspicion of killing two little girls.”

“Anything else Jane? Do we know Mr. James’ attorney?”

“One hasn’t been appointed, Mr. James hadn’t been arraigned yet.”

“Merde.”

“Assurement.”

“I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

“It seems such a small thing to say when you’ve done so much for me already, thank you Kate.”

“Linda said something this morning that put a lot of things into perspective. I’d complained that I wished we’d never gone on that damn cruise. She replied if we hadn’t Carol Maxwell would likely have been killed, or seriously injured by now. All that’s happened has been worth it if I saved her from that.”

“Kate, please don’t ever change. You may have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. I’ll see you for lunch.”

“Sleep well.”

“Andy, can you get Simon suited up? Do you think you going with me would be helpful?”

“Kate, I don’t know. I’ll go if you want.”

“Coordinate forensics for me?”

“We better get moving.”

Hal and Linda just looked at me. I started crying. “What have I done? Why is this happening to me?”

The two of them hugged me, and let me just cry for a few minutes. “Do you think I dare ask Tom for a little Ativan or something?”

“Honey, why don’t you wait a little while?” Linda suggested.

“It’s going to be hard enough as it is.” Hal agreed.

I was resigned, “Okay. I need to get dressed.” Linda walked with me, hand in hand, and helped me get ready. It didn’t take long. Slip into a bra, pull on the coverall, pull on my socks and boots on, zipup the coverall and fasten my gun belt. I couldn’t do much more. I walked back to the office and called the Federal AAG I’d been working with.

“Bill Franklin. Oh, Hi Kate.”

“Bill, I need an emergency filing. Me, me, not Massachusetts me, as the independent investigator, I know Jane appointed me, but with this second death I need some sort of whatever making it clear I will act according to my judgment, independent of anything else, and with it an order closing the protective custody module, tentatively as a civil rights violation as per the Ninth Circuit. The second is the most important. I’m going to do it anyway, I’d like to at least know there was something or someone covering my ass. Before I forget, please make it clear I’m taking Leo Sweeney, the attorney for Mr. Maxwell with me, to informally represent the decedent. Mr. Sweeney has accepted an employment offer from Cendar. Both Mr. Sweeney and Carol Maxwell are currently staying with my family. At first, I offered sanctuary. Both impressed the hell out of me. You and the court needed to hear that from me.”

“I was wondering if you were brave enough to do that, the filing I meant, though offering sanctuary from that lunatic was no small thing to do either. Thanks, disclosing that insures transparency.”

“Bill, it’s not courage. I’ve been given an impossible job, and told to do what’s right. I know that’s not a popular legal concept these days, but closing that module will put everyone on notice I’m not fucking around. As I told the Governor, I’m not about to play “The Name of the Rose,” with anyone.”

“Can I quote you?”

“Hell if it will help I’ll land my helicopter in front of the court and say the same thing to a judge or magistrate. I can be there in less than thirty minutes. Just say the word. I’d rather go there than the jail anyway. Oh, and Bill, my past will catch up with me, probably within two weeks. The damned video is raising questions among people who knew me.”

“Kate, I’m sorry. Legally it is my opinion that you’ve satisfied the spirit and the letter of the law. Let me make a call. I’ll call back in five minutes or less.”

“‘k.” I walked back to my room. “Could you two ask Leo if he’ll go with me? I’d like him to informally represent the deceased. Trouble is, I don’t know what room he’ll actually be in. Same with Hiram and Janie. I’d like them to bring one of the portable cleanroom/labs to the jail. That should provide any help if someone’s screwing with the computers.”

“Of course. We’ll try his room first though.”

“I know it’s selfish, and I’d hope they could wait, but I really hope he’s alone tonight.”

Linda kind of giggled, and they nodded.

Bill called back, after almost exactly five minutes. “Kate, I’ll meet you at the jail. You’ll have both your declarative order, and the order shutting the protective custody module. It’s being typed up right now. The judge is the same one who ordered the deposition sealed. Off the record, he thinks it’s damned courageous of you to go forward with this in light of everything. If and when the story comes out, you have a few friends in the Court, and other people, I intend to call. You will NOT stand alone. I promise.”

“Thank you Bill, I really needed to hear that from someone more than my chosen partners.”

“Hal and your wife?”

“Yeah.”

He chuckled and said, “Tactful Kate. Very tactful.” I’ll see you in a half hour, maybe forty-five minutes.”

Pat and Sheila both were standing post outside the office. “I’m sorry guys. There’s been another murder. I need some obvious muscle.” I know I sounded tired, what I didn’t expect was a hug from both of them. “Thanks, I’ve been running too hard without enough rest. Also, could one of you go down to the armory? I’d like you two, Andy, Simon and myself to be carrying two flash-bangs, and two tear gas. That gives us 10 tear gas grenades plus whatever the jail has. Pick up a dozen gasmasks with attachments, Grab half a dozen nightsticks, half a dozen lamps for the helmets, and you might as well bring Tasers along for those of us carrying weapons.”

“Ted is going to be so pissed in the morning.”

“While you’re shopping at GUNS r US grab a couple of Winchesters and load them with bean bag rounds. Bring a box of bean bags and a box of 00 Buck for each. Can anyone think of anything else in house to make us look intimidating?

Simon came running down the hall, still pulling the gun belt into place. “Thanks Simon. I’m asking Hiram and Janie to drive a recovery truck to the jail. If someone on staff is screwing the systems, you may need it’s resources, along with Hiram and Janie.”

“Very good idea, My Lady, they are both very skilled.”

Linda was blushing furiously, while Hal was chuckling to himself as they returned from their errand.

“He was in his room.” Linda told me.

“Correction, THEY were in his room. He’ll be right down.”

“Carol breezed past us with a very self-satisfied smile, absolutely didn’t care if we knew. She asked me to give you a kiss for her,” so Linda did.

That helped.

“Hiram and Janie are getting dressed, they should be here in fifteen minutes.”
It was only a few minutes till Leo showed up. “Okay. EVERYONE. ANNOUNCEMENT! I love Carol, Carol loves me, and we’d like to get married as soon as we can. Thank you Kate.” He started to cry, “Thank you very, very much.” Somehow I found myself holding him, though wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but it was right.

Maybe Pastor Johnson could take care of the marrying part of things. Do it New Year’s Eve and get the tax break for this year.
Tonight it was good Andy led the way. I grabbed my reefer jacket, it would be warm enough in the helicopter. It was three-oh-five when the helicopter lifted off. When we had steadied down for the short flight, I tried to explain the situation.

“By the time we arrive and enter the jail two emergency rulings from the Boston Federal court will be waiting for me. The first orders my participation and my use of resources, I hope, more or less as an independent counsel. This is to separate the Governor from me, and to make it clear to some of the more challenging personalities that though I don’t want it, I’m going to do it to the best of my ability.”

“The second order shuts down the protective custody module, right now, on civil rights violations. I’m hoping a Federal Marshall comes with the orders. It would make things less challenging.”

“The situation is this. At some time before 0200 a prisoner, not yet arraigned, was found murdered. His name was Bartholomew James. He was a white male 36 year old transient arrested on the suspicion of sexual assault and murder of two little girls. I believe all of you know the life expectancy of a child abuser, except in the protective custody unit is measured in minutes. It is critical to remember this, no matter how distasteful, he was not convicted of a crime and must be considered innocent until proven guilty. Leo is being asked to represent the interests of Mr. James pro tempore and probably pro bono though Cendar will take care of that until next of kin is located. I do not know who his next of kin is, that is one of the glaring information errors.”

“I’ve asked Simon along, because I want to rule out, if possible, anyone screwing with the computer logs. I hope he can also conduct an information trail audit of everyone in the PC module, and perhaps the entire facility.”

“I’ve asked Andy to supervise the forensic teams, as in plural, as in multiple from the State Police, the FBI, and Cendar. They will be backstopping each other. It’s terribly clumsy, but it will rule out anyone screwing with the evidence.”

“The entire inmate population and staff are in lockdown and will remain that way. Those CO’s who worked last night, and tonight, who cannot account for their whereabouts with absolute certainty, will be going out on paid administrative leave. Expect Sheriff Love to be less than pleased with me.”

“If I had enough time, I’d put pairs of armed officers throughout the facility, TAC suits, Gold face shields, Tear Gas Grenades and all. I will absolutely make it clear that any further deaths will result in summary layoffs. Expect the CO’s union to be less than pleased with me.”

“I think you all know this hard ass style is repugnant to me. If you don’t, talk to Andy. Once we land, I will repeat what happened last night, in spades. Expect me to seem and act like a stone cold bitch who’s suffering from PMS, with the flu, and with a migraine headache who’s just been dumped by her longtime boyfriend, and her best friend, on her birthday. Tonight I will take no crap from anyone. They get one warning, then I’ll slap them in handcuffs and make them wait, in handcuffs, in the visitor’s waiting area until I have the time to play piss-ant games. If it becomes necessary I will have them transported to the Federal Lockup. Obviously, that is the absolute last thing I want to do.”

“Perhaps everyone will play nice. Perhaps someone will step forward and confess. Perhaps the tooth fairy will visit the helicopter while we are gone. I am hoping for the best, and planning for the worse.”

“I am relying on you. If any one of you thinks I’ve lost my mind or am being unreasonably unreasonable, speak to Sheila. Sheila, I’m sorry to ask you but you’re the only other woman. If someone comes to you or you think it’s warranted, please interrupt and take me to the little girl’s room and read me the riot act. It’s no secret, you all know it. I’m tired. I haven’t had enough rest, and I’ve been running hard the last few weeks. You can expect Ted to knock my ass out for it when we get home.”

“This couldn’t come at a worse time for Hal, Linda, and I. The pastor of the Church Linda and I attended, with Tim and Lisa in California is here. He has recognized me. He is not the problem. The problem is the video-tape of the Birmingham operation. I’ve been too successful. There are questions being asked that have no acceptable answers.”

“Tentatively, and this information is only four hours old. Linda, Hal, and I are planning to acknowledge the truth. I have a competent legal opinion from a Federal Court officer, that none of us have done anything wrong. In fact, we have quote fulfilled and exceeded the spirit and the letter of the law, end quote. We had, prior to 0200 begun planning for a meeting in the next 72 hours with you, my family, and some others. Since 0200 this has become problematic.”

“If you do not realize it; let me make it very clear. You are my most trusted staff. There are some others, but each of you has earned that position. Hal, Linda, and most especially I respect and love each of you. If you ever think you’re not making enough money, talk to me. I know the boss. If you ever need anything, talk to me. Like I said, I know the boss. If you ever just need someone to talk to, come see me, no one will dare ask why. Does everyone have State Police flashes? Let’s get them on.”

Switching intercom circuits I asked the pilot how soon we would arrive. Less than five minutes was the answer. Not nearly long enough for a nap. “Okay troops the LZ is hot and we’ll be there in less than five. Damn, okay, who forgot to bring two Ma Dueces?” That got a little laugh, “would someone remind me to have a cd player installed, one with BIG speakers. I’d like whoever to be a bit frightened even before we got there. Maybe “Flight of the Valkyries,” or a little “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” or “Knights in White Satin” playing in the background would be appropriate about now.”

“Kate, you’re weird.”

“Thank you Andy Honey.”

“Andy Honey? Do I want to know?”

“Probably not. Hey you didn’t bring any of my babble juice along did you? It hits hard and fast. I figure we’d have just enough time to jab ‘em and ask if they killed one of the inmates.” I began my own maniacal laugh. “Darn, too bad it’s illegal.”

Argh

I’m not old enough to remember this stuff.

Bill delivered. One hurdle down. I was now a special investigator for the US Federal Court, Boston. We had 8 Cendar forensics technicians waiting for us, all with Tyvek suits for all who would need them. The FBI sent three two man teams, and the State Police sent three forensic technicians. We all went through the doors, guns and all. I sent one Cendar team to photograph cars and license place in the parking lots. Public, Lock-up, staff. If in doubt, take a picture. Also, I instructed them to take a photograph of everyone who left the facility.

There was a minor delay at the door. It seems they weren’t supposed to let weapons in. Andy proceeded to place C-4 strips all around the door. Seeing the virtue of not arguing with a tactical team armed with who knows what, the door was opened.

I entered the facility like some wrathful Valkyrie. People got out of my way. That Sheila and Patrick were obviously armed didn’t matter. The look on their face was priceless. I looked happy in comparison. We entered the conference room. Sheriff Love’s face drained of all color as Tyvek suited technician after technician kept coming in, along with all the -others.

“Lieutenant Miller, is there a room the forensics people can use.” I asked, without preamble.

He looked at the Sheriff, who nodded, almost unperceptively, and it wasn’t long before the room was less crowded, but no less intimidated. Sheila and Patrick Stood behind and to either side of me. Their purpose clear.

I looked around the room, everyone from last night was there, Bill had an assistant, Marcy Favors, as did the assistant DA. “Agent Tatro how many agents can you shake loose to do interviews, and how soon can they be here?”

“Ma’am, I’ve six agents that can be here in less than an hour.”

“Please make whatever calls you need to make that happen.”

“Gentlemen, this facility has a problem. It is remotely possible the two homicides are a statistical anomaly. I do not consider that likely. I thought I’d made it clear last night I was not happy. You can’t even fathom how upset I was to get a call, in my bedroom, from the Governor an hour or so ago. I’ll tell you all right now. I now control this facility. If necessary I’ll have Federal Marshall’s in here. I’ve already asked for and received a declaratory judgment from the Federal Court clarifying my status. You are each being provided with a copy. Sheriff Love, you can’t even begin to imagine how much I disliked having a second order. As of 0300 the protective custody module in this facility is shut down, you are each receiving a copy of that order as well. Please make arrangements to move the residents to another facility. Now. We will wait for you.”

“Ma’am, you can’t do that. It’s unreasonable to expect me to comply.”

“Sheriff, excuse me. I’ll give you a pass on this one. You have one chance to get this right. You have exactly two options. The first is to comply with the Federal Court order. The second is to be taken immediately into custody and I will then find someone else who can do your duty. The first order you were given makes it clear you will obey my orders, or seek redress in the Federal Court at 0800 Monday. Between now and then I would reluctantly have you detained in the Federal lockup facility. Please make your choice. Either way those prisoners are being moved.”

“But, you can’t…”

“Patrick, please take the Sheriff into custody.”

“Wait! Okay, but this is not settled!”

“Sheriff, it is settled. One way or the other. You have now used your only second chance. Choose.”

“Okay. But it will be challenged on Monday!”

“Sheriff you will not find any official in the Commonwealth willing to back you on this. This action has already been explained to, and reluctantly agreed to by the Governor. Please go ahead and make your calls. You may use the phone in this room, or your cell phone.”

“Lieutenant, I don’t see the CO’s from the PC module. Where are they?”

“Ma’am the Sheriff didn’t think that step was warranted.”

“Lieutenant, see to it immediately. Please have them wait here. When you finish that, please take my IT specialist, Simon Gordon, and provide supervisory access to your data equipment. I’ll have two other IT people here within the hour. See that they have access. All staff are to immediately step away from, and be locked out of, the computer system. Simon, please accompany the Lieutenant, and start your audit. If feasible, please provide read only access to staff, and Simon, one of the forensics teams is at your disposal, as well as Hiram and Janie when they get here. Ask Captain Jeeves to detail three men to you.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“We will wait while the Sheriff makes his calls.”

Sheriff Love, at this point, was shaking, or trembling noticeably. It could have been anger, but then again, it might have been fear. It took about an hour for him to find enough spaces. “Major, I’ve been able to place all 34 detainees. I’m sorry, but they are going to be scattered all over hell and half of Georgia. The most I could place in any one place was 9, which will be located at the Lawrence facility. I’ve ordered the secure bus, and we will begin moving inmates and detainees within the next hour.”

“Sheriff, can you tell us what is known about this latest homicide? What do we know about the deceased?”

“Ma’am the deceased was named Bartholomew James, 36 years old. White, 5’10” tall, brown hair, green eyes, medium build. He was arrested on suspicion of homicide of two little girls, 3, and 6 years old at 1415. According to the officer’s reports the detainee was caught by a crowd, shortly after the little girls were murdered. He was banged up by the crowd pretty badly. Treated for assorted cuts and contusions at Massachusetts General, and detained here at 1630.

“Do you have a next of kin?”

“Ma’am, I do not.”

“Does he have a rap sheet?”

“Yes Ma’am. Loitering, panhandling, urinating in public, that kind of thing.”

“Thank you Sheriff.

“I’ve asked Leo Sweeney to sit in on this meeting, the deceased had not yet been arraigned, and according to the information I have, he has or had no attorney. I note John Maxwell had not been arraigned. I also note both Mr. Maxwell and Mr. James were both arrested on charges relating to Assault, Battery and rape and attempted murder. The probability of any two of those facts is low. Taken together, the probability is infinitesimal. These kinds of patterns do not generally occur naturally. I would invite you to read “Statistical Metrics on Inmate Populations” by Kathryn Stevens. American Journal of Metrics in Criminal Justice, volume nineteen, 1995, issue 1. Mr. Sweeney will represent both Mr. Maxwell and Mr. James, at least until Mr. James’ family has been found and has an opportunity to arrange otherwise.”
(NOTE TO MY READERS: From the truth is stranger than you can believe file. The article and journal referenced is my THIRD choice. The first two choices turned out to be actual scholarly journals. The first one also agreed in year of publication, volume number, and issue number. No, I’ve never looked at either “real” journal before in my life. The issue also actually existed for the first. Thankfully the article itself wasn’t there. Duh.)

“You need to know, Mr. Sweeney has agreed to come to work for Cendar Corporation. I see no conflict of interest. My business, family, and I personally all operate transparently. We have already notified the Federal Court in Boston of this fact. Mr. Sweeney, the Commonwealth, and Cendar Corporation all wish to see justice done, and the perpetrator brought to justice. As always, if you have an issue with my performance or methods you are welcome to seek redress in the Federal Courts.”

“Now ladies and gentlemen, let me explain what is going to happen. My Lieutenant, Simon Gordon (well he WAS a vice-president of Cendar) has begun an audit of all records systems used in this facility. He WILL find, document, and eventually if needed, testify to the result of that audit. He is a genius in a company of geniuses. He will be joined by two more of my employees, both will soon be certified in Information Systems forensics.”

“Next. All correctional officers in this facility, and every PC detainee will be questioned by the FBI, before they leave this morning.”

“Ma’am you can’t, I don’t have enough allocated money for salaries.”

“Sheriff, I thought we’d been over this once. I’m truly sorry, but you’ll have to absorb the overtime costs somewhere. The interviews will be reviewed by the FBI, a team of forensic investigator’s, and when warranted, by myself or others I ask. They will also be shared, as appropriate in my judgment, with you. I know this is an onerous burden. There’s nothing to be done about it. Two high profile homicides, in two days, is going to unleash a fire storm on this facility.”

Sheriff Love has found room and will transport the current detainees this morning. Sheriff, 34 seems like a lot of inmates. How many cells does the PC module have?”

“Ma’am, we have 12 cells in that module.”

“Sheriff, how many detainees do you have in each cell? AND what is their stated maximum capacity?”

“Ma’am, that’s one of the problems we have. That module is rated for twenty-four prisoners. We have more detainees than we are technically allowed. Unfortunately the County has not seen its way clear to construct additional facilities.”

“So you are telling us you have 50% more detainees than legally allowed? Does this apply only to the PC module, or the entire facility?”

It was no longer an uncertainty, he was now frightened. “Yes Ma’am we have more detainees than allowed in that module. The conditions are not quite that bad in the general population, but even there we have nearly four people for every three beds.”

“Excuse me Ma’am, can I ask a question?” This from Bill, the assistant AG from the Federal Court. “Sheriff, do you realize how serious this problem is? From a Constitutional point of view, this facility is in gross violation of the Civil Rights of every detainee in this place!”

“Yes sir, I am aware of that. I’ve tried. No one wants to listen. We are shoehorning detainees wherever we can.” Sheriff Love complained to the group.

“Sheriff Love. Thank you for being forthright. As soon as the PC Module is cleared, you can, for the very short term, use the additional 12 cells to help you meet the law’s requirement. Still, that’s a problem that is going to be an issue, especially in light of these homicides. The news media is going to be all over this. We will address it, but that is not the problem we have in hand. Do any of you have thoughts about these homicides? Surely I’m not the only one thinking at 0400 hours in the morning.”

“Ma’am, what kinds of questions do you want us to be asking?”

“Good question. For all prisoners and staff. What was their: location, general movements. Relationships or grievances with Commonwealth or Federal agencies or toward me or my company or others involved in this investigation. General attitudes toward the PC detainees. Thoughts on detainees/prisoners/CO’s. Attitudes toward rape, crimes against women or children, sexual abuse, and how those attitudes are translated into action.”

“Attitudes toward Protective Custody detainees?” This from the Assistant District Attorney.

“Ma’am, against you?” Thank you Bill!

“Absolutely. I’m supposed to be “fair-minded.” How would it look if that question wasn’t raised? It should probably include all of you or the entities you represent.”

Several around the table began to nod. Even Sheriff Love thought investigating me was a good idea.

“Remember, I’m just back from a very high profile operation. The target of which is lying on a slab in the morgue. I did NOT expect it to be a news story. I was blind-sided by it.”

“Good point.”

“Can we identify others who might have grievances?”

“Absolutely. All officers and detainees should be closely scrutinized for ANY motive that could lead to this Charlie Foxtrot. I have to stress, again, NO ONE, or GROUP is at this time a suspect.”

“Ma’am, what’s a Charlie Foxtrot?” Marcy Favors asked.

I couldn’t help it, I blushed. “I apologize. I sometimes forget I’m not with one of my teams in talking about this kind of mess. The term is military slang for a Cluster-Fuck. It’s a totally screwed up situation. Kind of the same as SNAFU, Situation Normal All F’d Up. It’s when something has become a debacle, especially when it’s organizational. It just kind of slipped out.” There were a few chuckles around the table. My infallibility took a hit, but I’m supposed to be “fair Minded.” Geez, this REALLY sucks!

Marcy got really flustered and gave me this wan “sorry I got you into this” kind of look on her face. Sheila and Patrick were snickering behind me. I gave serious thought to glaring at them, for at least three whole seconds. I guess it was kind of funny though.

“If there’s the slightest irregularity, the FBI should start looking into financial records. This isn’t anything new to the Correctional Officers. I know the Sheriff’s office, in their hiring policies state in-depth research, backgrounds, drug use, etc. are all components of the application process.”

“Ma’am,” the Union’s lawyer interrupted, “I’m afraid we will have to challenge the process, and any evidence that results.”

“Mr. Conwell, if you wish to do so, please get together with Bill Franklin, the Federal AAG assigned to this case, and schedule arguments before the Federal Court for Monday Morning. If you REALLY have an objection, you can try to file a motion for an emergency hearing. In this particular case, because it’s going to be a media circus and I do believe it will be a media circus starting later today, any motion that seems to try to block, or cover-up any part of this investigation will result in significant public backlash. Only you and your clients can determine the advisability of such an action. I certainly will not suggest or impede it, but if you are considering it, do it as soon as possible.”

“Am I clear?”

“Yes Ma’am, thank you. I expected you to jump down my throat.”

“Sir, if you wish to court adverse publicity for your clients, who am I to stand in your way?” I gave him a half-smile. “From my own experience with Cendar, I’ve found if you treat your employees the way you would want to be treated, and pay a fair wage, most labor issues evaporate like dew in the morning sun.”

“Cendar has an excellent reputation,” he said, reluctantly and ruefully, “otherwise someone would be trying to unionize your company.”

“There you go, dew in the morning sun!” That was a point everyone could appreciate and laugh about.

“Any more questions or suggestions? Agent Tatro, does that give you a sense of what we’re looking for?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Then I’m going to see who knows what, right now, and get reports this afternoon. Tentatively, I will be scheduling a news conference at 1600 hours today and throughout the week. You are all invited to attend. I expect to do it from my home,” laughing I continued, “Uh, my daughters have a long planned social event going on, so you can expect to see some of my staff, and young ladies, dressed in medieval costumes, acting as though this is the 16th century.”

“As I did last night, and will do every time we meet. Does anyone have any complaints, issues, or other business we need to address at this time?”

No one brought anything up. I think they were too intimidated. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please, I still plan our next meeting for Monday, 1300 hours. We are adjourned.”

“Lieutenant Miller, would you guide Patrick, Sheila and me, to where Simon is?”

“Yes Major.”

Like most jails I’ve been in, this one was maze of rabbit warrens, carving the building up into different areas, all locked off from any connecting passages. Then there’s usually a central office or administration center, often associated with the visitor and visitation area. Essex was no different. The only distinctive character was its age. It felt old. Of course it connected to a rich history and tradition, which colored my impression. There’s been a constant connection back to the 1600’s. At one time it housed those accused of witchcraft, British spies, Draft dodgers of the Civil War, and on to the draft dodgers of the Vietnam War. That unbroken heritage permeated the place. Physically the jail wasn’t particularly old, dating back to the sixties. Still…

“Lieutenant Gordon, how are your tests going?”

“Bloody ‘ell. Lieutenant My Lady? Err… Actually, so far I’ve found no exploits, I did have to kick a few people off at the beginning. How long do I have here?”

“How long do you need?”

“Not more than twenty to thirty hours. So, not too long. The warders didn’t like going to paper, they were bloody angry till I told them the alternative. One said he’d wait until I was done. He wasn’t very happy when I told him great! He’d have plenty of overtime. I’m glad Janie and Hiram are here. Hiram’s documenting the latest patches on the software and the OS. I imagine with the three of us we’ll just keep going. I’ll be able to let people into the system on a read-only basis in another two, maybe three hours. The biggest problem is there’s been no upgrades, no security changes in at least five, probably more like ten years. They’re running an old ATT System Five OS. Fundamentally sound, but very wonky, very kludgey. Boss, they’ve all been logging in as admin. It may be a function of their software – again unpatched since forever. I don’t even know if the company is still in business. We may have to do some serious work, looking at the equipment, it’s probably a giveaway. I would suggest keeping an accurate billing log, then issue a proforma bill, discounted to $0.00 ‘cause there’s no way they’re going to be able to pay – if the equipment is any indicator. If I’m still here Monday, or if you want to have someone come in, I could use a db Admin, and someone to do some research for me, maybe burn some disks. Oh, the other thing? No backups. Well, actually there is, but it’s five plus years old, so I could use a hardware guy to see about some hard drives, maybe one with SysFive patched and upgraded, then run that in tandem, copy applications, then reboot and cross our fingers. This thing is a disaster waiting to happen.”

“You have a full lab sitting in the parking lot. Ask the forensics people for volunteers. Janie can do the db work, and Hiram has some impressive skills.

“Milady that would be perfect. Those two are top notch.”

“Lieutenant Miller?”

“Yes Ma’am?”

“Can you take me to the forensics’ team?”

Another trip through the maze. Part of the reason a jail is constructed this way is it can confuse the prisoners. If they don’t know how to move about, it’s harder for them to break out.

“Andy, how are things going?”

“Charlie Foxtrot. Someone “broke” the tape machine for the PC module. We’ll be looking for legible fingerprints on file for staff in a bit. Right now, it looks like someone broke the machine, then wiped every surface in the PC module control room. No way it’s an accident.”

“How long do you think you’ll be?”

“At this rate? No more than eight to ten hours. Why don’t you head on home? Between Simon and me we’ve got this wired. I’d call those three CO’s from last night back in to work. Unless we’ve a case of conspiracy, it looks like they’re innocent.”

“How many from last night were on tonight?”

“All together? 11 men, two women.”

“Ouch. Well I guess there’s no help for it. I’ll give the Sheriff the good news. I’d suggest making sure the prisoners to be transferred have their turn with the FBI first. That way we can give him some relief. I’ve suggested short term, he use the 12 cells in the PC Mod for overflow from the general population. I’ll touch base with Agent Tatro, talk to the Sheriff and head on home. Andy, thanks.”

“Don’t worry, we will sort things out. I may call for some help, letting the guys here go home a bit later.”

“You know the phone numbers. Call me if you need me, okay?”

“I will Kate.”

“I’m going to try to get some rest, then go through the FBI material early afternoon.”

“Go, get some sleep. Kate, give Hermione a call? She’ll be up, she always is when I’m working, but don’t stress on it. It’s just how we do things.”

“I will.”

“Lieutenant, ready to take us back to where we started?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Agent Tatro was assigning his investigators to the different groups when I got back to the conference room. He had taken his notes from the meeting and turned those into seventeen questions to ask prisoners and staff. He was agreeable to starting the next round of interviews with the prisoners being transferred. He was less happy with the news from Andy and Simon.

No one could find the Sheriff. He hadn’t signed out, but didn’t seem to be in the jail complex. Lieutenant Miller told me it wasn’t unusual. I gave the Lieutenant the names of the eleven officer’s that would need to be replaced before their next scheduled work shift. He was not pleased. He took scant comfort when I told him the three from the previous night could return to work, but promised to do what had to be done. I told him to call me if there was another emergency.

Collecting Leo, Sheila, Patrick and I signed out, and headed for the helicopter. Twenty minutes later we were home.

0740 Hours.

I was tired and I hurt. Vikki blanched when we walked into the kitchen.

“Kate, what happened?”

“It happened again last night, well early this morning. Vikki, can I get a really unhealthy breakfast? I’d love a cheddar grilled onion omelet, bacon or sausage, potatoes, and English muffin or biscuit? And some ketchup. I expect everyone else is hungry too, oh, a glass of OJ and a glass of Milk? I need to sit down before I fall down.”

I stumbled on into the Atrium and sat at “my” breakfast nook. Leo and I just sat there. I read the comics, Leo read “Parade.” “Leo, I’m sorry I dragged you out of bed, especially since you weren’t alone.”

“Kate, it could have been important. It was the right thing to do. Thank you for clarifying my status. I was going to mention it to you tomorrow. If you want me, I’ll be happy to relocate. Especially since my better four-fifths will be here.”

“Better four-fifths?”

“Kate, Carol and I have been in love since Junior High. It just worked out I loved Pam more. That’s not the best way to put it, since I have loved both of them absolutely. Now I’ll have a family. I’ve always wanted children, and Carol’s kids have been like my own since they were born. So we both get to start-over again.”

“I had a thought when you professed undying love. We have a pastor right here. We have Annie and her Amazing Technicolor sewing machine, and a couple hours’ worth of work will produce the most amazing wedding dress. I’ll even spring for a tuxedo.”

It was fun watching him. “You know what else Leo? I’ll bet Annie would be tickled pink to measure the girls and have bride’s maids’ dresses” So, assuming I can get some rest tonight you could be married this evening, Monday, or Tuesday.”

“Leo, you won’t be “starting-over.” It will be, I don’t know, picking up where you might have left off? I hope you know Carol’s going to need to see a psychologist for a while. You don’t survive what she has without scars. I’m so very glad you are here for her. She’s special and deserves some happiness.”

“So are you Kate, and so do you.”

“Here you go Kate,” Vikki brought out our breakfast, along with honey, butter, and black raspberry jam, which was my favorite, even if I didn’t let myself have it very often.

“Thank you Vikki, uh, can I ask a question? When do you sleep?”

Vikki smiled at me, “Normally at night.”

I walked into that one. “No, I mean you’re always here when I go into the kitchen, well not always, but pretty much always.”

“You ARE tired. Actually, I try to be here when we have guests, but February and March I’ll take several weeks of comp time off. It works out pretty well for us. George likes it this way. There’s not much happening here, nor does George have much going on then. We can usually take trips to several different places.”

“If you could go anywhere, where would you go?”

“That one’s easy. Paris. Cordon-Bleu has a pastry course I’ve wanted to go to for several years.”

“Isn’t that too much like work?”

Vikki just laughed. “Not really. You get to eat everything you make! It would be nice to be in a kitchen without any responsibility other than learning.”

“Vikki? Will you do me a great big favor?”

“Of course I will Kate, you know that.”

“I suppose I do. Monday morning, would you call and make reservations for that course? It’s my treat. I’ve needed to talk to you about something, and just never seem to get a chance. I really would like to do something nice for you though. Will you be here this evening?”

“Kate, you don’t have to do that. And yes, I will be here.”

“You are right, I don’t have to do that. But I want to. Regardless of how things go when we talk I want you to do that for me. Okay?”

“Thank you Kate. Thank you very much.”

Ted and Meri came around the corner, following the sound of our voices. “Kate, what the hell are you doing in uniform? Patrick and Sheila were in the kitchen eating. They mentioned you’ve been up all night. Again.”

“Do you remember Friday/Saturday night? We had another murder.”

“Kate, when you finish eating, you are going with me downstairs. You are getting hooked up to the monitors, then you are going to sleep.”

“Ted, I have things I have to do.”

“Fine, you can do them after eight to ten hours uninterrupted sleep. You KNOW Linda and Hal will agree with me. Jane, or whoever will just have to do without you for a few extra hours.”

“I don’t want to fight Ted. If Linda and Hal agree I’ll do what you want.”

“What are we agreeing to?” Linda asked, as usual she was beautiful this morning. Ack! Sunday! Everyone will be down here soon!

Linda reached down to snag half my biscuit.

“Hey, that’s mine!”

“I’ll get you another Honey. So Ted, what??”

“I want her downstairs, hooked up, and knocked out for eight to ten hours. She’s going to kill herself this way. She’s only been out of bed for just over a week. Apparently she doesn’t listen.”

“Why THANK YOU Doctor Honey! That’s a GREAT idea!” Linda said with a triumphant smile. I’ll have Hal call Jane and explain.”

Hal was ready to face the day, dressed for church. He leaned over and kissed me. “I’m glad you’re home sweetheart, you need to sleep.”

“Sheesh, it’s a conspiracy.”

“Hal, Doctor Honey wants her downstairs on the monitors for eight to ten hours. I said you’d call and explain to Jane. Then Doctor Honey reminded everyone she’s only been up and around for eight (?) days.”

“Would you stop calling him Doctor Honey, Honey?” I asked.

“But I didn’t call him Doctor Honey Honey. I just called him Doctor Honey. AND, if I remember correctly YOU were the one who first called him Doctor Honey.”

“I’m giving up right now. Honey, would you get me a nighty, robe, slippers and my toothbrush? You don’t need to get me a biscuit, I think I’m full.”

I gave a huge theatrical sigh. “Well, if I’ve got to get knocked out, I’m glad you’re doing it Doctor Honey. Hey! Could someone get me that nice warm electric blanket I had last week?”

“Hal Honey, could you call Andy Honey and Simon Honey. The jail has problems. Obviously. Only what no one knew is they haven’t had a backup, nor has the system been patched in forever. Five to ten years forever. Simon Honey has some specific things he needs. One is the patch sets to ATT Sys Five for the last ten years. And maybe an intern to run around for Simon Honey. Could you also call Hermione Honeyette and tell her Andy Honey is still at the jail, probably for another eight to ten hours?”
“Oh Look! Linda Honeyette is here with my very own nighty and slippers. Come on Doctor Honey, or does Meri Honeyette want breakfast first?” Leo was just laughing hysterically at my antics.

“Oops, I guess I’m going now. Could someonehoney stick their head in and tell Patrick Honey and Sheila Honeyette where I’m being dragged off to? I’ll leave my gun and belt by the door. Night-night EverybodyHoney!”

“Kate, has anyone told you you’re crazy?” Leo asked as I was being dragged away.

“Frequently Leo Honey. Byeee,” I said, waving as I got on the elevator.

As soon as the doors to the elevator closed Meri and I started laughing. “Thank you guys. Actually I was going to ask for something for pain. My shoulder/collar bone really hurts. I really am too tired, and I’m glad you didn’t yell at me too much.”

“Kate, you need to learn to say no.”

“I really can’t argue with you. I’ve done too much, too soon. If anybody ever deserved it, John Maxwell did. But, politically and legally, I’m the best choice for investigating the murders. Another “detainee” who had not yet been arraigned, just like John, was killed. This guy had killed two little girls. Well, was accused anyway. Apparently, this time the man was all by himself in the world. Someone has to speak for the dead.”

“Kate that may be. Almost certainly is, but you can’t save the world.”

“I know Tom, turn your back for a second.”

“You’re joking, right?” Meri poked him in the ribs, “Ouch! Okay, okay.”

“Excuuuse me. I’m changing here!” It would be more effective if I wasn’t giggling around my words.

“Jeez, picky, picky women.” Ted turned around, and I quickly slipped out of my coverall and bra, then pulled the nightgown over my head and stepped into my fuzzy slippers. “Can I go across the hall and pee first? Or are you going to commit indignities against my body?”

“Go! Brush your teeth and get back here. Then I’ll commit indignities.”

So I did.

“Meri, what time is it?”

“It’s just after eight.”

“How did it get to be eight o’clock?”

“One second at a time. One second at a time. You need to get to bed.”

Meri stuck her tongue out at him, “Come on Kate, I’ll help you.”

I did as I was told. I climbed into bed. Meri hooked me up to the monitors, took one look at Tom who nodded, and expertly stuck me and inserted an IV.

“Thank you Meri, I’m sorry to be so much trouble.”

“You can be so exasperating. Tom and I are assigned to you, full-time. You ask us to do something twice a week and you think it’s trouble? Hon, this is like a vacation. Besides, you are family. You have been for quite a while.”
Meri injected something through the IV, and the pain faded as a warm sensation started in my chest and spread throughout my body.

“Stick your tongue out.” Tom said, so I did.

I’m guessing it was Ambien, I’d just taken it, and snuggled into bed. Actually, it was a relief being ordered to bed. Jane would never have asked if there was any other choice, but it was nice to just relax, and go to sleep knowing no one would wake me.

That’s where things were ten minutes later when Hal came running in. “Stop, I’ve got to talk to her.”

“Hal, she’s about asleep with a pain med and Ambien.”

“Damn, they just found the Sheriff, dead.”

I can remember thinking, “that’s nice.” Then I realized what he’d said and tried to lift my head. Too late.

“Nite Nite,” I mumbled.

------------------------------------------

Steven’s Hall, December 29, 2001, 1730 Hours.

“Kate, Honey, can you wake up?”

“Uhmph, Huh?”

“Honey, you’ve been asleep for almost ten hours. You’ve GOT to get UP.”

“Oh, Hi Lin. What time is it?”

“Hon it’s almost six O’clock.”

“Hey, why am I in here?”

“Tom got all pissy after you were up again all night.”

“But you just said it was six O’clock?”

“Actually, five-thirty P.M.”

“Oh damn. Why do I have an IV?” I started panicking. “Did I do something, am I all right?”

“Yes silly, he just decided if you had been up all night, for the second time, you needed to be ordered to bed. He even told Jane that. Actually, he said a lot more than that to Jane, he was NOT happy with her. Tom even ordered Sheila and Patrick to keep everyone, including Hal and me, out of here; Doctor’s Orders.”

Meri disconnected me from everything, and I sat up. “Okay, what’s happening?”

“Well, the first crisis…”

“This isn’t good is it? First crisis?”

“No, it’s not good. Sheriff Love is dead.”

“I’ve got to get dressed.”

“You need to hear the rest.”

I slumped back on the bed, “And the rest?”

“We had plenty of time to cancel the News Conference at four. Next, you are NOT going to believe what the idiots in the State House have done. They are upset. Actually closer to apoplexic. The leadership feels the problems in Essex are systemic throughout the various counties. Without consulting with you, Jane, or anyone in Cendar, they’ve basically decided to give you a blank check. You have to fix all the jails, or at least audit and certify they are up to date.”

“Why me? Supervise the investigation I can understand. But damn, that’s a lot of work.”

“I’ve heard all about it. Honey, Hal will meet you upstairs to tell you the rest.”

“That’s not enough?”

“If that was all I’d have asked Tom to keep you down here till the morning.”

I got up, Lin and I went upstairs to our bedroom. After a quick shower, I threw on clothes, the super Christmas Yuletide hostess red jumper over green sweater, and white tights. Lin was there, changing, and helping me get dressed.

“Dinner was pushed back till seven tonight. The girl’s, all seventeen of them, oh, by the way we’ll be getting an expansion on the barn, we now have eighteen horses. Jose’s been offered much more money, and we need to hire two stable hands to help him.”

“Where are the other six horses going to be at?”

“Would you believe there’s six temporary stalls where some of the cars were parked?”

“At this point, I’d believe anything.”

“Well Miss Alice, you look about as good as you’re going to get tonight. Oh, the reason dinner was pushed back is Lisa, all sixteen other girls, and your temporary female horsemanship employee have all been riding all day, they need to finish putting the horses away. They’ll be getting showered about now, so the earliest we could all eat is seven. Jane will meet with you and Hal as soon as you get to the upstairs office.”

“Lin, do YOU have ANY more little details you’ve forgotten to mention? If I’d known Jane was waiting I’d have hurried more.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“Oh.”

“Indubitably.”

I slammed a pair of shorty boots on and rushed out the bedroom door. Patrick apparently was on duty, but some guy in a dark suit was standing on the other side of the doorway. There was another guy down the hall, where the two hallways came together.

“Who’s the guys in the suits? Jane, I’m sorry. They made me go to sleep.”

“Relax Kate. You’re not in trouble. Probably the only one who is definitely NOT in trouble. Actually, maybe you are. Depends how you define trouble. One thing you can relax about. One of the CO’s sent home this morning turned rabbit. He fit all of your criteria. Worked both days and was seen in and out of the PC Mod. Left his wife and two kids. There’s a warrant for his arrest.”

“Okay, that means I can wait before I panic. So, who’s the suits?”

“Kate, Cendar’s going to be tasked with remediating all the jails throughout the Commonwealth.” Hal began. “It’s a cost plus 5% contract, sort of between you, Cendar, and the Commonwealth.

“What do you mean “me,” Cendar, and the commonwealth?”

“Because you my dear are on an indefinite leave of absence. Linda and Annie will take over your duties.”

“What the HELL?”

“Actually, that’s not quite correct. All your private holdings and business interests will be in the hands of a Federal Court Officer. You are, as of noontime, the Under-Secretary designate, Law Enforcement, under a new Cabinet Level position, tasked with overseeing the correctional system problems in the Commonwealth, amongst a LOT of other things.”

“How in the HELL did THAT happen? Jane, what have you done to me?” I gasped out, stunned.

“It’s not Jane or the Commonwealth. You’ve been nominated as Under-Secretary in the Department of Homeland Security of the Federal Government. You’ll be confirmed this week. The guys in the suits are part of your protection detail. They are FBI.”

“What is THAT? Homeland Security?”

“Kate,” Jane started, trying to defuse things before they really got started. “The President and the leadership in Congress, in light of the September 11th attacks, announced today the creation of a new Cabinet level department. They are bringing most of the Federal Law Enforcement infrastructure into a new Department, as well as FEMA, and a whole slew of other things. They’ve been thinking of you for the last month. Hal had “John’s” information and in-depth investigation couriered down to D.C. this morning. Your deposition was unsealed and that couriered down to D.C. You are fortunate you had a more or less recent Top Secret clearance. ALL of THAT is in the President’s hands.

“Oh crap. I assume this means everything has come out into the open?”

“Honey, yes. I’m sorry we couldn’t talk to you first. This all blew up after you went to sleep.”

“Almost as soon as the Sheriff was murdered, the FBI was given jurisdiction over the case as a Civil-Right’s violation. The overcrowding in the jails of the Commonwealth, and we know much more about that tonight than we did this morning, has become an issue in the Federal Courts, two separate cases were filed today. A preliminary order to the Commonwealth has given us 90 days to correct the situation or start releasing people.”

“Why me?”

“75% of the reason is your “proven track record.” 25% is you are the media’s new darling. Especially after I agreed to allow Jane to leak the details of you becoming Kate, as a result of what’s quickly becoming called by the generic label of 9/11. Honey, if Linda, Jane or I saw a different way we would have taken it. Last night we discussed this going public. We’ve just taken a different path getting there. This way You, Linda, Cendar, our family and employees, Jane, everyone comes out ahead.

“Being transgendered assures your confirmation. Kate One would have been confirmed, but it might have taken some time. You, being politically conservative, the Republican Leadership has to approve for the President, and the Democrats can’t be critical of you unless they are willing to piss off a large part of their grass roots support. Please don’t feel like you are being chosen because of being transgendered. But I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor. You’d find that out soon enough, then I’d be in the doghouse.”

“Uh, do we know how this is playing in the afterhours stock markets?”

“Actually we’re doing really well, up a point and a half to $419 a share.”

“Kate, this has been like a snowball rolling down a steep hill. It started out small, the original Kate was on the short list to be appointed to this position. The Birmingham Operation brought you into the public spotlight, and you “earned your spurs” with the Law Enforcement community. No one who saw you toss in that flash-bang would ever say you didn’t deserve to be called a cop. Your investigation of the jail, no matter how short a time, resulted in an arrest warrant in a day and a half. That just added to the public’s perception of you as “the fairest Law Enforcement Officer” in the Commonwealth. Those last two are more than a little my fault.” Jane explained. “Then today, with the gender factor coming out, and your blended family, Senators Kerry and Kennedy pushed your nomination for purely political reasons. You can BET he’s read your complete background checks.”

“So, after today everyone knows. You are the fair haired child. If you had a bit more management experience YOU would be the new Secretary of Homeland Security. Your primary responsibilities will be as THE law enforcement/correctional troubleshooter. Kate, I really hope you can forgive me for you being dragged into this mess.”

I sat there, slack jawed, stunned. Linda came in with a diet cola for me, a bowl of corn chips and salsa, and coffee for Hal and Jane. “They told you?”

I nodded. How could so much change so very fast? My BLENDED FAMILY?? To quote Simon ‘Oh Bloody ‘ell!’

Linda continued in a very small, very scared voice. “I’m so sorry. I wish this had never started.”

“Lin, I’m quoting you now from yesterday, ‘Don’t be an ass. That would mean Carol and maybe the kids would likely be dead.’ I’m not upset with any of you.” Amazingly, I wasn’t. “Stunned? Very. Angry? No. I’m sort of actually relieved. Jane, that goes for you and Hal too. Uh… Do I have to move to DC?”

“Probably at least for part of the time. You’re being given a mandate to “take care” of the correctional issues, and to a lesser extent, some of the Commonwealth’s most glaring law enforcement problems. What you learn here, you’ll use to evaluate what initiatives the Federal Government needs to sponsor for the rest of the country. You will also be learning what procedures and hardware the Federal Government can share with the states. Your Police TAC suit impressed the hell out of a bunch of army types. Monday that gets put into R&D, and production. So expect to spend a lot of field trips to the various military training programs.”

“This all happened in the ten or twelve hours I was asleep? I need to sleep more often! Guys, it’s almost seven O’clock. I need to go apologize to Vikki before dinner. Linda, will you go with me? Jane, you are eating here. Right?”

“If you still want me Kate,” Jane asked.

“I don’t have enough female friends to lose one over so trivial an Issue.” I pulled Jane into a hug. I was having a hard time not crying. “How could you think that? Wasn’t so long ago you told me YES, you ARE my friend. Of course I want you at dinner.”

“You on the other hand,” I grabbed Hal and pulled him out of his chair, “are more than a friend. You are my husband, far more than a friend.” I wrapped my arms around him.

“Come on, My Lady Wife, let’s go so I can face the music.” Linda and I walked out of the office, and down to apologize to one of the most important people in my life. “Let’s go talk to Vikki.”

In the kitchen, Vikki was in the last stages of finishing dinner. “Vikki, could I talk to you for a minute or two?”

Vikki looked at me, and Linda, “Yes Mrs. Steven’s,” she answered, and I was afraid.

The three of us sat around the breakfast nook. “I’m sorry Vikki, I wanted to tell you before it became public knowledge. If I had any inkling this morning what would happen while I was asleep I would have made Ted wait. I wasn’t born Kate. The twins were not MY babies. I was born John. Hal came across me when he was at the Comdex show.” I started weeping. “First Hal, then the senior management, then everyone else just ASSUMED I was Kate. Linda joined us on Thursday. Hal and Linda only saw one issue. For Hal, I was Kate, and he would do ANYTHING to get me to stay Kate. For Linda, it was a way to pay off our house, and put some money away for retirement.” Linda reached over and held my hand as she started crying too. “At first, there were only Hal, Linda, myself, Annie – ‘cause she knew I wasn’t Kate, us four, and two of our lawyers. Everything was done legally. If someone wanted to prove I wasn’t Kate, it would have been almost impossible. Then when I didn’t handle things well Andy, Dr. Tom, and Meri had to be told. While I look perfectly normal as a woman, even unclothed, there were some special needs my doctor had to know about. He actually discovered it while I was unconscious and they had to put a catheter in. I don’t even know if you’ll believe me, but I promise, you were one of the people I HAD to tell before anyone else. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Andy explained everything to me last month. I was a little hurt, then Hal told me. I do understand, I’m glad you were going to tell me first. Hal told me that too.” Vikki reached over and took my hand. “The original Kate never took the time to open up or do many of the things you do naturally. She would never have talked to me the way you do, like this morning. Never in a million years would she have invaded the kitchen Christmas day to bake cookies. I understand before the twins died, Kate was much more open, and maybe when they died, part of her died too. I guess if it weren’t for Annie she would have actually died then. When I came here four years ago Annie was almost grown. Kate had withdrawn into herself. You aren’t that way. I know they’ve run you ragged since you came back from that cruise, and I saw what that asshole did to you. Then when I saw how you treated Carol, it was like you two were sisters, I KNEW you had a good heart. You truly are a special woman Kate Stevens. I’m glad you took the time to tell me.”

Vikki smiled.

“Linda, please make sure she’s taken care of. She needs more rest than she’s had this week.”

“Vikki, how long until dinner?”

“Do you need to talk to someone else?”

I nodded my head. “My pastor, from California, is the girl’s chaperone.”

“Go, dinner will be served in 20 minutes??”

“Thank you Vikki. Could I have a hug?”

“Of course.” I’m not sure who hugged who, but we hugged.

Now for the hard part. Linda and I went looking for Pastor Ron Johnson. I sort of figured he’d be in the library, and was glad he was still looking at the books. Someone told me there were over 55000 volumes in there. A librarian came in once a month with new books, and updated the database on what was here.

“Hi you two! Have things been this exciting ever since you left California?”

“You know. I was hoping to talk to you first.”

“I have to shut my eyes to even hear John. Hal had your Mom, TJ and three of your doctor’s talk to me when it became certain your secret was about to become public. Linda, he didn’t tell you because he knew you would tell Kate before she had a chance to talk to me. Guys, I really don’t understand. I don’t know what having such deep, lifelong gender issues must be like. I DO know you two. Especially you Kate. Yes, that’s the name I will use, because that’s who you are. Jeremiah 1:6 really suits you to a tee. Did Andy tell you I’d brought my golf clubs? Tee, golf clubs?” HE laughed. “Aw well, I thought it was funny. Anyhow, Jeremiah wrote, “Before you were born, I knew you. While you were in your mother’s womb I sanctified you.” That’s a powerful verse. It’s one I’ve been wrestling with. It has implications beyond the reality that is you Kate. There are other’s the church doesn’t reach. Does this verse apply to gay people? I’ve begun to think so. The actions/words need to be examined in light of their historical context. I don’t know. I’m working on it.”

“What I do know is you Kate. Your testimony was always something I cherished. You committed your life to Christ a long, long time ago. I’ve never doubted your heart. I’m not going to start. If my understanding of God is so limited that I can’t begin to challenge my preconceptions, then I’m no better than the religious people Jeremiah was sent to prophesy to. I will admit, you’ve challenged my preconceptions. Even more, your words last night made it clear you were willing to accept my judgment. I won’t judge you. All I’ve seen is a woman, whose doctors are unanimous in affirming she is a woman. She certainly seems to be just as good a woman as I’ve ever met. You may not realize it, but your people love you. I’ve seen no change in that today since the news came out. You are loved. What a powerful thing. YOU are LOVED.”

“I didn’t mean to preach a sermon Kate, I just knew you’d slept through this morning. Called out in the middle of the night two nights in a row? Wow, even I try to avoid that. Everything you’ve been through in the last month? I can’t begin to fathom it. You were really raped? I saw the pictures of you, I’d known you were beaten.”

“Yes Ron, I was. You have no idea of what followed.” I began to sob. Lin was still holding onto my hand. She at least had the presence of mind to grab some tissue. “Afterwards, I’d passed out from the beating. I woke up with a broken nose, a broken collar bone, anus torn and bleeding. I was naked, hurting, and tied to the bed. A gag in the mouth, barely able to breath. I’m sorry, I tried to kill myself. If Lin hadn’t found me in time I’d be dead. As it was, it was touch and go. Truthfully, I’m not really well wrapped right now. I still tend to blame myself.”

“I had no idea.”

“That’s because Hal and Linda, my staff, and my doctors are all sneaky, selfish people. They refused to let me die at my own hand. They are still putting me back together.”

“I’m glad they are that way. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t be having this talk. Kate, you’ve been told, I’m sure, that reaction is so very, very common.”

I just nodded my head.

Linda, bless her, pointed out it was seven, and dinner would be served shortly.

Pastor Johnson pulled me up out of my chair, and into a hug. “Well, let me affirm you in this. You sure smell better!”

I couldn’t help it, I began to giggle. “Thank you.”

“I should take you upstairs to get cleaned up for dinner Kate.”

I just nodded and followed, well actually I let myself be dragged.

I washed my face, redid my makeup, and we went down to dinner. Vikki, using some kind of radar I’ve never discovered, started serving dinner as I was going down the stairs.

Dinner was perfect. I asked Pastor Johnson to say grace, Hiram, Janie, and Simon were all back from the jail. “All done?” Simon turned to me, “Just starting really. But I suppose it will hold together better until we can fix it.”

After dessert, Hal asked everyone to stay seated for a couple of minutes. Vikki came out of the kitchen, and a couple of the duty officers were also in the room. “Some of you may have questions tonight. Governor Wells, Kate’s mom, and I will be happy to answer any remaining questions after the Governor, and I read prepared statements.”

“For those who haven’t met me, I’m Governor Jane Wells of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Kate has been asked to take a leave of absence, and tackle the job of Under Secretary in the brand new Department of Homeland Security. Kate is, and has been for years, my very good friend. Now that may sound crazy, especially if all you heard was the news today.

“The woman we had all known, and loved dearly, Kate Stevens died in the 9/11 attack. She was in New York, seeing to private business when it happened. Because her body was never found, Hal was loathe to admit it, and kept putting it off. In November, he attended the Comdex trade show in Las Vegas. While he was there, he met Kate.”

I had no idea Hal was planning this, or that Jane was helping him. But for the third time in the last two hours I was reduced to tears.

“That wasn’t her name then, but that is who she is now. No matter what you have heard, Kate is, and always has been a woman, at least where it counts. If you have heard she was born male, then that is also true. Outwardly, she looked like a man. She even fathered two lovely children, and now she’s the mother to a third child. But where it counts, in her brain, she always, ALWAYS has been a woman. Every one of her doctor’s agree with that.”

“Now the REALLY crazy thing about this is Kate One, who died, and Kate Two, who is here are virtually identical twins. They look alike, they think alike, they have the same likes and dislikes, and they even talk the same. Actually, Kate Two has a little California accent, but everyone who has known them both agree they are closer than most identical twins. Legally, there was almost no way to prove otherwise. All of the proper legal notifications, all the proper legal papers, all the company records, all say Kate Two IS Kate One.”

“I am partly responsible. I’ve helped in the legal processes. Everything is and has been legal and proper. If Kate had not been asked to go to Washington, she would have made this news public in the next two weeks.”

“Kate had been named by me as a special investigator in the death of a detainees at the Essex County Jail, he had been murdered.”

“Then last night, I called her again. She spent most of the night at the jail. Two more men had been killed. Kate was told this morning, by her doctor, she was going to bed for ten hours. So, she did. The doctor, along with Kate’s Security detail kept everyone away, including Hal and Linda, until a little bit ago. EVERYTHING happened while she was asleep. For those of you at Cendar, or here on the estate, she had planned to tell you before today happened. The timing and the way things happened were NOT of Kate’s planning.”

“So, that’s my announcement.”

Hal, stood up and began, “For those of you with Cendar, and the estate, I apologize for the way I’ve handled it. My mishandling nearly cost Kate her life a couple of weeks ago. I am truly sorry for both the way I have handled everything, and the way my actions have hurt my wife. I love her very dearly.”

“While Kate One and Kate Two are nearly identical, Andy was talking with me a few days ago. I don’t remember if it was him or me who said it first, but both of us agree on this the Kate we have with us put the heart back into Cendar. When Kate One was killed I went downhill very fast. I KNOW Annie was afraid I’d harm myself. I KNOW other’s felt the same way. I DON’T KNOW if I’d be here, right now, if I hadn’t found Kate Two. Actually, she’s Kate. Period. Christmas, Kate agreed and decided from then on she would be just Kate. Linda, Andy, Governor Wells, Simon, and I were there to hear and to witness to it.”

“So, if anyone has a problem with Kate being Kate, you have a problem NOT with Kate but with ME.”

Hal sat down. Pastor Johnson asked if HE could say something.

“I’m not going to say much. I’ve given one sermon today. I knew the woman you all know as Kate. That wasn’t what she was called then. Whatever name you want to call her, I know she is a tremendous woman of faith. I have absolutely NEVER doubted that. Thank you.”

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, thinking, ‘gosh he’s good!’ telling the absolute truth and meaning ME, from John to Kate.

Not to be outdone, Leo rose and asked if HE could say a few words. “If you were on the outside looking in, you’d see a woman who was brutally raped and beaten. You would see that man’s wife sitting at table with her, and you would see that man’s Lawyer.”

“How did this come about you may ask? December 26 I appeared in the Federal Court in Miami, Florida. I arranged bail for John Maxwell. It was a lot of money. That John died in custody will allow most of that money to revert to Carol Maxwell. When I picked John up, I took him to his room. As I entered, John slugged me, knocking me out. His words to me were, “I can’t buy that damned bitch off, so I’ll have to kill her.”

“I don’t really know why, but he left me tied up. Four or five hours later it was clear he wasn’t coming back and I worked myself free of the knots.”

“A lawyer does a lot of things for his client. What he does not do is aid in a murder. I called Cendar, and eventually spoke with Hal. He suggested flying here. I told him first I had to get Carol out of her house. It was likely this time John would kill her.”

“Without hesitation, Hal said his wife Kate wouldn’t be able to rest until Carol was safe here. Think of it. Kate is a woman whose heart is so big she took in the wife of the man who beat and raped her.”

“That by itself shows Kate to be a woman of outstanding character. The next day Kate and Carol met, and discovered how much they had in common. Carol’s bruising from her last beating at the hands of her husband, and Kate whose swelling had gone down but was presentable only with makeup, recognized in the other a sister they hadn’t met yet. Kate then decided to spoil Carol’s children rotten. Between buying enough clothes, equestrian gear, and their own horses, providing sleeping quarters both the two girls, and her son, just on and on and on Kate makes everyone in this house happy.”

“That night was the raid in Birmingham. John Maxwell was recaptured. Now I know it’s not against any law or constitutional precept, but the picture of John Maxwell in his pink one-piece anti-suicide garment was one of the highlights of my week. Two days earlier he had conked me on the head pretty hard, gashing my scalp open. I couldn’t help but think pink was a color he needed to become more familiar with. I’ve been assured by Annie, the designer of the suit that pink was just a byproduct of the manufacturing, though she will reluctantly admit to adding a little red colorant to the formulae – for identification purposes, but certainly not to make it pink. Thank you Annie.”

“Friday night John Maxwell was murdered. Kate was called in to supervise the investigation. She didn’t want it, but would do her best. What was more important to Carol, and to me was a conversation on the stairway between Carol and Kate. Carol told Kate about everything John had done to her. When Carol fled, she took certain files from the safe in their house. One of the files listed each of John’s rape victims. Another file detailed how John had taken insurance policies out on Carol’s parents, then had them killed.”

“At the end of the conversation Kate asked Carol the most life changing question of her life. She asked, “do you know Leo loves you?”

“And I do, and she does, so here and now,” Leo dropped to one knee, “Carol will you marry me?”

Then a loud piercing scream sounded in stereo as Maeve and Siobhan ran to hug their mother and Leo. Carol smiled almost shyly and nodded her head yes.

Leo turned to Pastor Johnson, “Pastor, would you do the ceremony for us? Girl’s, Annie needs to measure you for Bridesmaid’s dresses, Annie, could you put a wedding dress together with your software?”

“Of course Leo. Carol, we should look at some pictures tonight so I can see what you like.”

“Kate, will you be my matron of honor?”

Who wouldda thunk it?

I looked around the room, life has its own system of checks and balances. Things often work out better than we could possibly imagine. They certainly had for me. I’m told no one planned it, but people just came over to stand by me. Jane, all my family, Carol and Leo, and kids, All of my team. Finally, Pastor Johnson came over and leaned down to hug me. I was the center of a constantly changing group hug.

However it happened, my ghosts were gone. I was alive. I was ME. And it all began again at,

COMDEX

Kate Stevens will be teaming up with Beth Pruett from “Honor First, Honor Last, Always Honor” in “Brilliant Fury” appearing this winter on Big Closet.
---------------------------------------------------

Afterwards.

This story was conceived, and begun more than ten years ago. For a lot of reasons, it got stuck, shelved, on the back burner, out of sight out of mind… well, you get the idea. I’ve two new writing projects, and absolutely HAD to clear some of my backlog.

Amongst other reasons, 250 pages of “Brilliant Fury” is already written, and it begins soon after this story ends. I suppose it’s really a continuation of Comdex. It was bad enough that half of Comdex was written before “Honor First, Honor Last, Always Honor” which is set in 1975, 20 years before Comdex takes place.

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad I did finish it. I didn’t know how it would end, and it was driving me crazy. Not to mention my wife, gave me seventeen different kinds of hell over leaving it. I’ve been working on lots of things, including my own transition. Today my doctor signed the forms to change my name and gender, so somehow it seemed very appropriate to finish the story today.

I’ve enjoyed it - mostly.

Now, a bit of a soap-box rant. Too often we close our eyes to the cost being transgendered has for our loved ones. I know, many times, not always, I have. This spring my wife made it clear our marriage of nearly forty years is over. All the times she was being supportive? She now tells me she was lying. With the best intentions, she gave me the impression things would be okay. Not good, but “okay.”

IF YOU ARE TRANSGENDERED. Know that if you even admit it to yourself the cost is terrible. No matter what you do, if you take even ONE step, SOMEONE IS GOING TO GET HURT. You’ll still have choices. You can work on self-realization, and perhaps find a measure of peace for yourself and those you care about, or you can choke it down cold and pretend it never happened – and live with the consequences. I wish I could tell you what to do. I wish I knew at the beginning what I know now. I probably would have done it differently. For me, in spite of everything I truly believe it was transition or die.

As of today, it has cost: my wife, my adult children, my home, the list continues…

I truly pray God gives you the answers. Yes I believe in a caring, loving God, and have since I was twenty. In fact that’s where I met my wife. Don’t look to me for answers, all I have are hurts, still lots of questions, my life, and the knowledge I’ve done my best with horrid choices.

I can live with that.

Beth Moody,
San Diego, June 2014

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