For Moon, life has never been easy. With a horrible name, a bad break in life, a rough job, and problems coming from every direction. What is a part time pretend magical girl to do?

“Moon?”, he waited until he had my attention, which was tenuous at best, “Can you come with me? Bring your laptop too.” As I gathered my gear together, putting my system to sleep so that it could come back up fairly quickly, Ralph conferred with the lead tech that I had been working with for the last half of the night/day/whatever and when we were both ready, he escorted me out of the conference room and through the corridors.

Now and then we ran into other people. Even though it was a Sunday, this building and its offices were still open and some staff were on duty as it housed a vast majority of the servers and mainframes that the company operated for various accounts that it controlled. They looked at me strangely as we went by. Not that I blamed them. Ralph had to lead the way, not being able to walk beside me because of the bulk of my petticoats. The edge of my skirt occasionally touched the wall or brushed against a doorway if I strayed from the center. The one good thing was that I didn’t blush as much now as I had been earlier when all this began. I was too tired for one thing and I was way too concerned and preoccupied for the other. Yah, I had so much on my mind that I didn’t care about walking the hallways of a corporate office while wearing massive petticoats that flared my skirt way out. Believe me, I stood out and I really was mentally preoccupied. Seriously.

We arrived at the parking lot and found his car parked close to the door in the VIP section. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought it would be easier if we road over to the main office instead of walking across the campus where anyone could see us.”

I managed to get into the front seat and after a bit, buckled myself in without cringing too much. My skirt really was a hassle and I was so sore when sitting, even in a soft and luxurious car like this one. As with most cars this size, I felt awfully tiny. I was fairly short and skinny in the first place, but when I got into these big type cars it really proved the point to me. I didn’t care for big cars anyway as they held too many memories. No, I don’t want to talk about it. My laptop went into the back seat along with my star topped wand. I don’t know why I had ever bothered to bring that thing in with me into the office in the first place. Ralph pulled out while I dug through my little cloth bag like purse and repaired my makeup in the mirror, putting on a fresh coat of lipstick after being satisfied with the rest of my appearance. The curls in my hair still looked good, what you could see outside of my large, poufy hat with its large bow on the back that matched the color of my dress. Plus the bow motif worked with the ones on my blouse, gloves, and shoes. My ears were hurting a little from the weight of the dangling star earrings that matched the star on my wand. I wasn’t used to wearing earrings this long in the first place, much less ones of the size that dangled from my lobes. When I wore them for long lengths of time, they tended to be smaller and less noticeable.

My whole outfit was a magical girl’s dream and it was meant to be that way. I had copied it off of a old show that I liked. It wasn’t exactly like the one on the show, but a mix of various elements from two outfits. Hey, I wasn’t required to be perfect to the original. This is the way I had made it. It worked for me. Besides my hat, I had a white blouse with short poufy sleeves tied off with a large white bow on each sleeve, leaving ruffles below. Those ruffles matched the ones on my neck line and I had a huge dark pink bow right on my chest. My softer pink dress was like a tank top with shoulder straps that defined my narrow waist before they went pretty much straight out resting on my already mentioned petticoats. My stockings were white and my shoes were mary janes with almost three inch heels on them, including a matching dark pink bow on the mary jane strap.

I put my short white gloves, with their own dark pink bows and ruffled hems, back on as I stared out of the window as we made our way through the corporate campus. This was a large company whose main business, at least in this arm of the company, was providing services and systems to our customers. I was but one person, a tech of little importance, lost in the sea of acquisitions and mergers who was trying to keep from drowning. Part of my current plan was to stay afloat and find a way to get ahead and get noticed for the good that I could bring to the company. That image I wanted to project to management and to my peers did not involve my current outfit, of course. Still, that’s what I get for being a good employee. All my fault. I figure I might be able to get another job once all this was over, move to a different state in the process. It was a good thing I was single and could travel light. Probably the most extensive part of my possessions was my wardrobe. Well, the wardrobe that no one else could know about. Well, I should say, that no one else knows exists except for the cute over the top magical girl number I was wearing now. I could sure use some prince to save me right now. That or another magical girl who could help me out. I’d take either. Both were equally likely.

I was trying to stay awake as we parked in the VIP lot of the main corporate building, what we all referred to as the management’s penis, so named because it was a single tower nestled between two smaller buildings we called the left and right nut houses. Cock Tower was another. This name and descriptions are not allowed to be told to anyone who had business over there. So of course I’m sure they all knew about it. Heck, as tired as I was, I was afraid I was going to blurt it out as soon as I started talking. Ralph was eyeing me right now as I tried to control my giggles.

“Something wrong?”

“Oh, ah. Sorry. I’m just a little overwhelmed at the moment.” I did my best to stifle myself. Still, my head started screaming ‘PENIS!!!’ and I had to pause near the door as I held myself up. This was not a good sign for future interactions. I wasn’t sure if it was from the lack of sleep, my meds, or the drinks I had long ago. Maybe it was just me? Could it be me? Was I that crazy person people always talk about? I tried to think if I was the one who was the crazy person in the groups I ran with or if I was the sane one, but honestly my heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t want to tarnish my personal self image of the hidden crazy one. Then again, maybe we’re all insane at some level and we don’t let others know about it.

Riding up the elevator, my mind was still thinking of penises, yet in my defense I can say that it was no longer thinking about the building. My daydream involved what happened earlier that evening with the aforementioned item in question. I wondered if I could find my way back into … the elevator chime woke me up from my pleasant memory, my eyes opening at the same time the doors did.

It was manager central.

Not just any manager central, but near the level of the corporate godhood manager central. My guess, from the view outside, that we were probably a floor or two below the corona and the tip top …. PENIS!!!

I gently pounded my hand against my head in an effort to get that thought out of there.

Ralph led me over to a chair and had me rest while he ran off into a smaller side office. In short order he brought over a very large cup of caffeine ambrosia goodness. A few sips and I felt myself in heaven. Manager coffee in the manager shaft was far better elixir than those down in the pits could ever desire. I moaned and rolled my head back for a moment closing my eyes in ecstasy.

Ralph, I could imagine him with my eyes closed, couldn’t figure out the best way to shake me awake. For one thing I could hear him move to my side and he kept pausing, not sure how to get my attention. Not wanting to risk touching me inappropriately. He must know that magical girls can affect others in strange and mysterious ways. He must have finally given up on the course he was thinking and went a different route. He softly asked, “Moon? Are you okay? Do you need help?”

I blinked a few times, lifted and turned my head slightly to look at him. “Having a hard time figuring out how to wake me up? Well, so am I.” I giggled again followed by another until I finally was able to stand up. “Let’s get this over with. Where do I sign?”

“Sign? What are you talking about?”

“You know, my termination papers. That’s why we’re here? You need to send me home now that you’ve got what you need from me.” My gloved hand pointed accusingly at him. I’d like to say it was a straight and stern finger, yet it was more like a wet noodle. My focus wavered a little and I noticed that my bow on the back of the gloved wrist was a little smudged. Carefully I took my other glove off and used my hand to spruce it up a little. I had to squint hard at it and stick my tongue out of the corner of my mouth a little. You should try it; it really, really works.

Ralph talked on as I preened my glove, “No, we’re not here to do any such thing. We’re here because we’ve got to give yet another report and since you are the main participant, you have to be here as well.” He looked me over again and started to say, “I’m not sure you’re quite ….”

Out from one of the office doors a middle age man popped his head out and interrupted him. He was very trim and fit. Probably was one of those guys that ran in the morning. I never really cared for early morning runners. No reason really. Not that I care talk about. Okay, I can’t run anymore and it sucks. Damn it all to hell. There’s so much stolen from me. It just isn’t fair!

“Ralph? Come on in. We’re ready for you.”

“Can you come carry our cups? I’m afraid … ah … that Miss Trail here is a little unsteady on her feet.” His arm came around me and helped me walk along to the door.

Part of me was a bit incensed. Unsteady? I was fine. I mean, I was wearing nearly three inch heels and I could still walk quite well. Not too many other people could walk as well as I could. Heck, I could name many people down around my office area who couldn’t walk in high heels to save their life. And I’m not talking about the other guys, but some of the actual girls couldn’t walk properly in them to save their booty. It always made me want to throw up when I saw them waste what god denied me. Not that I cared about god anymore, especially since he decided I must be worth punishment for having been born. Still, the arm felt kind of nice in a none creepy way. I guess I could let him be my knight in shining armor for a bit.

Besides, he called me ‘Miss’.

If I thought I could get away with it, I’d kiss him for that. As it was, I guess I’d settle for saying quietly to him, “thank you.”

We walked in through the first set of doors. My skirt and petticoats didn’t get caught on the frame, thankfully. We moved around what looked like a nice office with a wrap around desk with seating around the other walls before coming to another set of doors of a much larger office.

Before I knew what was happening, a woman appeared out of that office, wanting to help both Ralph and me… or was it just me? I got a good look at her as she worked around to my side. She was beautiful. And she certainly was a smart dresser. Maybe she was more of a smart dresser than she was beautiful? She certainly made Ralph look tacky. He was wearing jeans and a bowling shirt. Sure, he was all macho and everything even in his stupid bowling shirt, but she was quite lovely. Her hair was natural curls that most black women like herself didn’t use as often, preferring to use all sorts of chemicals to straighten and sort their hair into non-natural ways. Not that I’m complaining. Women have a right to do what they want with their looks. And a lot of women wear their hair in wonderful ways that require chemicals and stylists to achieve. Still, a lot can be said for a woman who can carry a natural look and make it look more beautiful than god intended. Not that I cared one wit about what god intended. After all, he messed up with me didn’t he?

Ralph tried to apologize, “I’m afraid that she’s been awake for a very long time. She’s sort of out of it.”

The lady looked at me as she helped me sit down as lady like as I could manage, what with the volume of my skirts and the smallness of the chair available to me.

He continued, “Should we cancel this? We can pick up after she’s had at least a few hours of sleep.”

I put on my best winning smile. “I’m fine, really. I’m mostly tired and my medication isn’t working too well right now.”

Both of them looked at each other, then the guy who was bringing in our coffee, and then myself. “Medication?” she asked.

“Yes, sorry. It’s why I was taking vacation for the next two weeks. My doctor has changed my medication and it takes a bit for it to settle in. Hopefully this one works well, but it seems to make me a little … you know ….” I waved my hand floppily in the air around me. “Floppy?” I did my best not to smile stupidly. I hope my smile was sweet and natural looking.

“So she’s a little punch drunk then?”

Ralph nodded, “Yes Ma’am. She’s been fairly solid up until recently, but in the last half hour she’s starting to feel some sleep deprivation. When she’s focused, she’s a lot less distracted.”

I felt my mouth grin. “understatement.” I’m not sure if I said that out loud and if I did, how loud I said it. It’s true though, my focus. It’s like a freakin’ laser when I apply it. Seriously, you don’t want to mess with me when I am focused. Maybe I didn’t say it out loud. I could have drooled and it sort of fell out. They were now looking at me. Did I do something stupid? Oh gods I hope not.

She smirked at me. “Indeed. Okay. We’re going to get started here officially. I’m turning on the recorder now.” The gentleman who had brought in our coffee pushed a few buttons on a nearby pad. She started to rattle off the date and time, and the reason why we were having this little session. “We have in attendance the technician who discovered the situation who goes by the name Moon Trail. Moon, what’s your real name?”

I must have jumped a little, because everyone was looking at me expectantly and I think they were thinking I’d just done something wrong. What was wrong? Oh, my name. I sighed. “Oh, it’s embarrassing. My parents were born again hippies and thought it would be cute to give us names that worked with the name ‘Trail’.”

“Your name please.”

“It’s Dusty.” I then spelled it out for them. You’d be amazed how many people can’t spell it right.

Ralph chuckled, “Dusty Trail? I can see why you wanted a different name than that, but why ‘Moon’?”

“College,” was my answer. It didn’t seem to satisfy him though. “I was a night owl and it stuck with me all this time.”

“Can we get back to this?” she looked at us all impatiently until she was satisfied. “We have Dusty ‘Moon’ Trail, as I was saying, the technician who discovered this issue. Moon, please state that you are here.”

“I’m here in the flesh.”

“Thank you. Regional Manager Ralph Wise.”

“Present.”

“My personal assistant manager, Charles McCormick.”

“Attending.”

“And myself, Winner Rollins, Regional President over the Health Care accounts.”

She noticed my face when she said her name. Her title didn’t impress me any. Well, mostly it didn’t impress me. What it told me was that she was a high mucky muck. And since she was at this level in the company that meant she was good at what she did. Still, her name was slightly amusing. I should really pay attention to the chain of command, but it never seemed to be that important to me. What use was it? Still, to have someone who was a Winner in my chain was interesting.

“Yes, Moon, I had parents who either had humor or intent on naming me ‘Winner’.”

She chuckled as she said that. I really liked her smile. She certainly had charm and grace within her. I wish she was my direct boss, that would be nice. I bet she was tough as nails and smooth as silk. On second thought, she sort of is my boss since she’s in my chain of command, but still I wouldn’t mind being under her directly. I like competent people.

Ralph began his report by covering the current activities. All system files and data had been copied over to a set of secret and secure systems that would be used as evidence and in the investigation. He then covered what he had done since I had notified him of what was going on. It took a long time, even while being summed up. I hoped I didn’t sound like a windbag when it was my turn.

Winner stated her activities and the direction we were all aiming for in this. Secrecy was the requirement while the investigation was going on. Her assistant merely stated he was attending as a witness to the activities and to facilitate the recording.

Thankfully we paused before my part was to begin. I wasn’t sure how I should begin. I needed to be careful though. I knew myself well enough to know that I could become quite free with my thoughts if I didn’t maintain control. I needed to focus. Charles got us all something to eat, but I wasn’t too hungry. I couldn’t eat normal food anyway. I mean, I was hungry. I know I was hungry, but my belly was doing an impression of a flopping fish out of water thing. Not something that was interested in eating at this time. More interested in getting back into the water I guess. Fish are amazing creatures, did you know that? Look at the oceans and the seas and lakes and rivers… They were everywhere. Why was it that we couldn’t take better care of their water? They were dying off from pollution and from being over fished. Such a shame. I wish the world could treat everything better. Okay, maybe not the world, but us. Yah, I wish we humans could be better treating everyone else. Why the hell were we such bad stewards of each other and the world? I mean, I’d really like it if people would at least treat me nicely. I’d love it if they could be understanding and helpful too. Don’t judge me. I guess there’s some hippie in me too.

It was my turn. You know, I think one of the nicest things about today was that no one was making fun of me and of my predicament. They were all such nice people. That’s just like how we should be treating all the fishes too.

Winner prompted me again to start my side of the events. “It started with the on call person. His name is Fish Silva. I mean Frank… Frank Silva. He is on duty to field calls from the system if there are problems with the system cycles. It’s actually a pretty quiet system. Anyway the system encountered an error, sounded the alarm, and he was called in to diagnose the issue. Frank is… well, he isn’t ‘new’ new, but he’s the second more newest member on the team. Since I had been helping him out he called me about the problem. He knew I was good at handling system problems.”

“So what is the problem again?” I didn’t feel comfortable being at the office, especially dressed the way I was. It was supposed to be a relaxing Saturday, not me at the office handling a crisis. I was towards the end of watching one of my favorite anime magical girl series. You could say that I had a thing for them. Anyway, after the week I had and the night before where I couldn’t sleep to save anyone’s life, I needed the time to relax. And if relaxing by dressing up like the character on the magical girl marathon I was watching is a crime then I was guilty.

“This job here came down in step ninety.” I watched as he controlled the mouse on the screen to show what he was seeing and such. Frank wasn’t a bad guy, he really wasn’t. His fault was that he was new to the business and that he hadn’t learned to figure things out on his own too well. Some people were that way forever. I was trying to show him how to do things the right way. And I was doing it in secret. Why? Because this whole account was full of idiots of various varieties. And I mean that in the nicest way.

You see, I had learned long time ago to take the reins and drive the wagon. I didn’t let the horses take me where they wanted to go. I didn’t walk beside the wagon and lead the horses. I sat there on the bench and drove the dang thing myself. I had a great mentor in my first job out of college. He taught me that you learn in stages. You couldn’t be expected to know it all. That was impossible. What he did expect was threefold. First off you had to build your knowledge of the system. That was a never ending quest because the system was always changing. The system had cycles that did functions. Knowing the basics of what the cycles were supposed to do helped you to remember the details. You should know that in a cycle that was supposed to work on data regarding “dogs” you wouldn’t find anything about “cats” and if you did, there was something wrong. From there you dug into the issue.

The next thing he stressed was knowing the system programs. Not the stuff that we coded as that was part of the system. No he meant that you had to learn what the things like the operating system did and how it did it and what order it did it in. You needed to know the database in the same way. You needed to know each and every language used in the system and how it all worked together. And you should be able to go in reverse and read it even in the most basic level of the languages. This was the most stable aspect of the system. The database didn’t change how it did its job unless there was a major upgrade. So as long as you kept up with the system programs, you could do the third part.

Investigation. Digging into the issue. That was the key. You couldn’t count on being correct about what everything did. You looked, you investigated, and you checked it out. You NEVER EVER took it for what the document said it did. Not even your own stuff unless you had recently worked in it and was the last one who touched it.

That’s what I was trying to teach Frank. Never ending job it seemed. Most people never bothered. They’d call the expert on that area and then take a back seat.

“Why are you in the office again?” Frank asked.

I sighed. It wasn’t worth pointing out that I was supposed to be on vacation, it would only make him feel bad about calling me in to help. I certainly wasn’t going to mention what I was wearing or had been watching when he called. “I left my laptop at the office, so I had to come in when you called.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“No problem.” I lied. “I was out and about near the office when you called, so it was nothing to drop by. I need to pick up my laptop anyway.” Again, lies. Well, mostly. My laptop was at the office. I was on vacation after all.

It wasn’t long before I had Frank’s problem resolved. It didn’t take long at all to resolve it. What took the time was walking him through how I found the issue and how to correct it. Especially since it was him who caused the problem. He had recently promoted this code earlier in the month. Since this was a monthly job, he didn’t hit the error until the first time it ran. All he had done was forget to define a file to the system’s generational data set list. Like I said, he’s new. We all make that mistake if we aren’t careful.

But something didn’t quite look right. I looked at the time and listened to the quiet deserted office. No one was going to be here on a Saturday night. Unless they were an idiot like me. Still, it was far better to stay here for another hour than to go out into the daylight where people could see me. I had spent a long time getting ready and dressed in a costume and I didn’t have time to get out of it to come into work only to go home again and get back into it. So I was here in costume. I was trying not to be seen too. If Frank knew what I was wearing… Well, lucky for me he was at home.

So I stayed and worked on tracking down what looked wrong to me. There was this file that had a strange date/time stamp signature upon it. From what I could see, it should have had an earlier stamp than it was showing, because the job that last touched it ran earlier than what this file showed in its date/time stamp. That is, the time stamp on it was more recent. That’s what the mystery was. I’m sure someone had done something stupid. With the crew in this account, it was inevitable.

Thinking about my teammates made me sigh. They weren’t bad people. They were only ignorant. And I meant that in a nice way too. Still, quite a few of them had reached the limit of their ability a promotion or so ago. Thus this team was heavy with people who all ranked above me who couldn’t tie their shoes. A few of them could though. More the pity for it all. Those that weren’t complete idiots were few. Of those few, most were fairly good at what they did, but they were very sheltered in what they did. They only worked in their little world and didn’t want to know or do anything outside of it. And they certainly didn’t want to let you into their world. If they did than someone else would learn what they did and could cause them problems. By keeping the world in the dark, they were the experts in their areas.

The problem really laid in management. Our account manager used to be a techie, like the rest of us. But he had been promoted out of that into management. Most techies who go that route suffer from one of the following afflictions. Either they no longer had the knack, thus their move to management reflected their loss of techie skills. Or they still had the knack and even though they hadn’t touched the code for years, they felt they still knew every in and out of the system and could make techie decisions without looking into the actual tech.

Generally these managers were either bad at being managers, but were being pulled along by those above or around them. Or they found they were good at being bosses. Problem with those folks is they want to keep pleasing folks to prove they are the same old good guy. That means protecting their own. Don’t upset the applecart. What was the best thing to do for a techie who goes to management? Move them off and far away from the team they came from. Put them into as foreign of a system as possible with people they don’t know. That way everyone benefits. Without that support system, they have to rely on the people to do their own work and they can judge things better. And people can judge them better too. No more relying on past images saving them in their new job.

But hey, what do I know. I’m just a lowly tech trying to stay afloat. Our company had been through several mergers and downsizes and I had found myself floating around accounts who would take me in. My oldest account no longer was around. My last account downsized and because I had a lot of sick leave and wasn’t on a major project at the time, I got the opportunity to find another account to work for. Thus why I was here. Far away from the city where I used to live and now working in the main corporate office complex of one of the past merger acquisitions.

This account wasn’t very good. I could tell they had cemented their staff long ago and anyone who came in now was not going to be accepted well. Unless they got a mentor. Problem was I scared these folks. I actually knew what I was doing and I was better than they were. You can call me arrogant, but I’m not kidding. I really did know enough to run circles around these folks. You see, what made me good was that this account used the same system programs and languages that I had known in my first account. It was very specialized knowledge. That’s why they picked me up in the first place, because I knew it and could demonstrate my knowledge.

Anyway, I had my own problems. I’ll admit that. They are all personal though. I didn’t like to let others know about them. I have a very extensive medical history and because of some things, I needed medication to keep me mentally able to walk some days. Sometimes the meds stopped working as well as they used to and I had to switch over which always took a little time during which it really was best that I didn’t work unless I was up to the task even if I could focus on that task. I have a very clear focus. It kept me alive all that time when I was struggling to stay alive. Anyway, the last account I was on I had let them know about my meds and the switchover I had to do and they got rid of me. So it wasn’t worth it. Sit down, be quiet, and don’t rock the boat.

“So what was the problem with the file again?” Winner asked.

“When you write a file to the system it will put a date and time stamp on it. There are ways in the operating system to get around it, but generally they require knowledge that most people don’t have. Plus it also requires security that most people don’t have. Finally, it isn’t something you can hide in a job script. It would mean you’d have to have security added to that script that most people don’t have thus they couldn’t run as part of the normal batch cycle.” I paused as I took another slug of coffee. “Did I mention that most people can’t do this?”

At their nod I continued, “So that was strange. I went back into the job scripts before there and found the files that built this final file. In my own development area, I pulled that data down and ran it through the job scripts before, during, and after; step by step. I got it up to where the original issue happened and compared the file sizes with what was in production, but one of the files in my development area was a larger size. It was the same file that I first noticed the new date/time stamp was wrong and it wasn’t wrong in my area. The production one looked like it had some data pulled out since it was smaller. And the job that ran at the same date/time as the modified date/time stamp of the file in question never listed that file as a parameter. The files it did list as parameters were all for a report that it did. I looked at the code and the output, the reports looked legit on the surface, but why was this one file suddenly different? I then played with the file copies I had and was able to pull all the data out that was different. They were all for a particular doctor. And when I looked back at the production files, not all the data records for this doctor were pulled, but there were a lot that had been pulled. As I said, it was weird and wrong. Even though the programs were the same as that within production, there was a different result based upon when or where it was run.”

“What does this part of the cycle do?”

My face contorted as I thought and focused on her question. “Oh, it is a statistical review of services rendered. Like, you’re a pediatrician. Your claims are fed into here and are analyzed and compared to other pediatricians. In this way we can see if there’s a doctor who is performing outside the norms of what other doctors are doing for that area. That’s the basic thrust of it all. It catches those who are doing more of a certain type of procedure, or a diagnosis, or if they had a lot more claims than anyone else. This job runs monthly so that the statistics are pulled into the database for analysis.”

“So what happens when a doctor operates outside of the norm?”

“I’m not too sure. That’s not an area that I’m fully familiar with. I know enough about it though to figure out that if they are outside of the norm, then they are flagged to be checked. I’m sure if they are okay then everything is fine, but if they continue to be outside the norm then something further is done.”

Ralph added his two cents, “The reviewed data can be used to find fraudulent claims. For example, let’s say that an eye doctor is submitting more claims for glasses than anyone else is in his area. It could be that he’s getting the business, but it could also be that he’s faking the claims and pocketing the money.”

Winner nodded. “So all these claims were for one physician?”

“Yes. That’s what was so freaky about it. Looking at the rest of the documentation, I could see that if that data wasn’t fed into the next part of the cycle, then it could make it look like this doctor had less claims than he actually submitted. So if had a lot more claims and now he was brought down into a more normal range… Well to me that meant something was very wrong. I couldn’t take this to the expert for the cycle. Chances were that they were part of this whole mess. So I went to the tech manager, Barbara Werner.”

“And what did she say?”

“Oh, she wasn’t home. I got her teenage son who said she was at some party. And he said there was no point in trying her cell phone as she had left it home.”

“With Barbara out, who did you contact next?”

“Um. That’s the thing. I didn’t know who to go to. The account manager is the type who I don’t trust.”

She looked at Ralph who shrugged his shoulders, “First I heard of it Winner.”

“Um,” I hesitated and finally continued, “James Arthur tends to protect his people from others. I knew of a story where one of his people reported to him in a closed door session some misgivings she had about how someone under him was not doing the right thing. Anyway, James went and told Barbara and this other tech everything she had said. When she confronted him about it he said he had to do it because they were his friends. She left the company immediately after that.”

Winner rested her forehead on one of her hands. “That’s not right.”

Ralph asked, “How come no one went higher about it?”

“With a reception like that? Who was she to go to? Besides, she now had the account manager, tech manager, and some techs after her. She didn’t feel like she could get a fair shake anywhere. They started to pull things out on her and she was getting written up.”

I thought about how Sue had left. I really liked her. She was a good egg and the first to let me know some things that were happening there.

Sue gripped her paper cup to the point where it dented. “Those people can’t be trusted.”

“So what the heck happened?”

“Look, the basic thing is this. Don’t trust them. They will lie and cheat to get their way.”

“Yah, but how do they lie and cheat?”

“Haven’t you been listening to me? They are all in some sort of secret club or something. It’s like if one of them gets in trouble, the other ones bail them out. With James floating over them protecting them from anyone below or above. All they have to do is build up a file against you. It doesn’t have to be true. So you might stand up and tell James that they aren’t playing by the rules, then James tells them and then they lower the boom on you with whatever they’ve plowed up.”

“Doesn’t that sound awfully farfetched? I mean, you would have to have incidents that were somewhat new for it to be of any use. And that way you could show that the troubles didn’t start until after you first went to James.”

“All they have to do is to keep it up to date. Drop the older and weaker stuff. We all do something wrong now and then, so they can build on what we really do and make up the rest. And believe me, they have a file on everyone for when they need to use it.”

Pausing for a moment, Moon thought about how things could be written up about his performance. He had issues and the last manager made sure to use them against him. His last change of medication required that he take off a lot of work here and there while he adjusted and that was used against him. He had best start trying to ether stay off everyone’s radar and stay afloat until he could move on within the company, or find someplace to go outside the company. He lifted his head up to face Sue again and pulled his hair back behind his ears. That’s one plus he liked about the company he got merged with, they let him keep his shoulder length hair.

Sue frowned for a moment and exclaimed, “When did you get your ears pierced?”

He froze and she continued, “And why are you wearing girl’s earrings?”

Ah shit, he forgot he was wearing them. It was Saturday after all. And they unmistakably were girl’s earrings.

“So…. Anyway, I knew that James was the wrong person to go to. And thinking about it further, I got to where I felt that even Barbara was the wrong person to get in touch with. I had heard that Barbara, Michael, and Jessica were pretty tight. I mean…” I looked over to Ralph for support.

He picked up on it thankfully, “You mean they hung out together?”

“Yah, some. But mostly they had a history of being ‘pals’. Back before Barbara became a tech manager, she was a techie with them and after she was promoted, she sort of stayed in contact with them.”

Winner tapped her fingers on her desk while I drank some more coffee. “What do you mean, ‘hung out together’?”

“Well, James was originally the tech manager before he was promoted to account manager. And Barbara was promoted to his old spot. After a while, both Michael and Jessica were promoted and given offices on either side of hers.”

“But they aren’t management. In fact her position doesn’t rate coming out of the cubes either. None of the them should be in an office,” Barbara stated emphatically. “Offices are only for account managers and above.”

“Yah, well, that’s nice. I guess the none of them ever got the memo.” In spite of the glare Winner gave, Moon continued, “I mean, hey, who’s going to stop them? James? HA! Even Ralph here never bothered with it. Everyone’s in the club so who cares about actually following the rules. I mean it isn’t…. like…” I trailed off finally getting the clue both had been sending. Yah, my big mouth. “Sorry, I went overboard on that one.”

“To be honest, I didn’t really catch it myself,” Ralph admitted. “But you’re right.” He wiped his face with one of his hands. “You’re right. I bought into the whole golden child image myself. I didn’t enforce the rules because Barbara, Michael, and Jessica were all considered top notch members in the account. It shouldn’t matter, but I let it matter and affect what I should have done when that rule was made.”

Winner looked at him. When she spoke her voice was sharp and seemed to burry itself deep into his chest. “Explain to me your involvement in all of this.”

He shrugged and tried to fire off a disarming grin, but it fell flat before her. “Well, um. I can say that I need to review my decisions and actions in this new light. I, ah… let James’s group do what they wanted because it’s always been a stellar group as far as numbers and issues. I mean, they’ve always had problem children in their lineup, but they tended to get weeded out when they… came…” His head fell into his chest for a moment. “I’ve been a fool. I bet a lot of those cases are just like what Moon was describing. Ways of getting rid of people they didn’t like. I should have spotted the trend and picked up on it.”

“Ralph, the day a manager actually catches all the tricks thrown at them is a day that never comes. You learn and you get better. We’ll discuss that and look into it more later on. We owe it to the people that have left to make an effort to clear their names. Moon, why don’t you continue.”

I blinked at everyone for a moment, “Where was I?” I was still thinking about Sue’s disgust at discovering I was wearing girl’s earrings. My bad.

“You tried to contact Barbara, she’s out, you didn’t want to contact James and then you realized that you probably shouldn’t have even contacted Barbara.”

“Oh yah, right… Um, I probably did something I shouldn’t have. Let’s just skip this part okay?”

Winner’s face tightened and I realized that as much as I enjoyed seeing Ralph get the end of her anger, I didn’t like it directed at me at all. I was sure glad she wasn’t my direct boss. Who the heck would want to report directly to her? Must be crazy folk.

“This is being recorded. We can’t skip over it. And since it part of this issue, we certainly won’t skip over it. So you will tell me what you did and you will be honest about it otherwise you and I will be having a short conversation about your career here, no matter what good you’ve done for this company. Do I make myself clear?”

Oh yah, she’s in the penis building. I felt my backside suddenly tighten in a way that reminded me more of what she was threatening to do then what had happened already last night. I had to be honest with her? To that degree? My stomach went back to being a flopping fish. Then again, with the right… No, focus! FOCUS!

“Yes ma’am. You see, when I had called up Barbara’s home and got her son, he gave me the address to the party. He didn’t know their phone number, she had left her phone at home, but he figured I could use the address to look it up. You know, there are websites that can do that sort of thing.”

I pulled into an open spot and looked at the house. Did I say house? It was more like a freaking mansion. And it was certainly rocking. I checked the time. It was around 10 so it was still early as far as parties go. Not that I know about parties, but it seemed that from what I heard most parties, the serious ones at least, go way into the night. I checked my purse and made sure that I pulled the items I thought I’d need out of it and stuffed them into my costume. Thank god it was a costume party. I needed to get in and catch the three of them here, so that I could get the evidence I needed to support my case. According to the information I got on the address Barbara’s son gave me, this was the home of that doctor whose claims had been pulled out of the system. And she was here at his party. She shouldn’t have been able to do this alone, so that meant one or more of the other techs were here too. Management sticks together, but if I could get the evidence high enough, I could prove my point. I had a disposable cell phone, my lipstick, some tissues, and my keys all secreted now in places on my body. The lipstick, keys and tissues went into some side pockets under my skirt. My phone I had to slip down in between my blouse and dress where my bra provided a handy cradle to hide it. Hopefully I could get away with this.

I made my way up to the door, my heels clicking away on the stone walk, my dress swishing side to side with my hips. My legs, lower neck, and arms were catching the night time chill in the air. I felt like the world was in sharp focus around me. Even though I had a job to do, I had never ever done anything like this. Could I get away with it? I wish I could go to parties like this every weekend. Heck I wish I could go anywhere on the weekend. Should I go back and use some more perfume? When was the last time I used any and has it worn off?

I realized the guards at the front door were looking me over. Oh yah, keep walking. Don’t stand there looking like a fool. If you’re going to be a fool, at least be a moving one. They are harder to hit that way.

As one covered the door, the other stepped up to me. “Do you have an invitation miss?”

My heart fluttered. Part of me was singing the hallelujah chorus. The other part of me? Eh, not so good. Yah, it was needing some resuscitation. “Oh, I forgot it at home. It’s such a long way to go back to get it. Do I need it to get in?”

“Rules state that everyone has to have an invitation.”

“Oh…” I quickly decided to play the role I was meant to play from the day I was born. “I guess that means I can’t get in then.” I turned away and took a few steps, letting my hips do a little more of a wiggle, then turned back with a finger up to my face in my best innocent girl pout I could muster. “Are you sure I can’t come in? I’ll be good, I promise.”

Mr. Stony Face actually blinked for a moment before coming back with his response. “No invitation, then no entry.” And then he soften and added, “I’m sorry miss.”

Oh I almost had him!

“Hey Tony,” the guy behind him reached up to his shoulder. “Let her in. You know he’s got a weakness for anime girls like this.”

Anime girls? Oh a kindred soul I hope! Yah, I was the spitting image of a cute sweet anime girl. I was a magical girl extraordinaire!

Okay, I may not have been a spitting image of a real magical girl, but that was what my costume was all about.

“Really? I thought he was more into Japanese girls.”

“Well that’s what anime girls are. Sort of.”

Yah, what he said. I got the idea I needed to sell this better. My hands grasped themselves and were held tightly under my chin, my arms locked together down towards my elbows, almost like I was praying. My legs also pulled together and I sort of crouched a little as in some sort of great expectation and anticipation of some great news. I felt my breasts push together and I was certain that if my blouse wasn’t covering it up, some sort of cleavage would have been greeting these two lunks like a siren call to come and test the waters. Maybe I was taking this a little too far?

“She’s not Japanese,” Tony cleverly pointed out, his head turned so that he was missing out on my wonderful deliverance.

But his pal got it full force. “Tony, she doesn’t have to be Japanese to be an anime girl. I’ll take the rap for this. Right this way honey, come on in.”

I felt Tony watch me as I minced in, stopping to give a kiss on the cheek to my unnamed rescuer. When the door closed behind me, I started to drop my act and then quickly put it back up. I was surrounded by people. All sorts of people. It was amazing!

I needed to keep it up. I realized after I walked into the second room that I didn’t need much effort to give off the innocent little waif unaccustomed to large parties. I was totally projecting that. I had the walk down and the hand gestures. Oh shy little me. I saw a mirror close by and looked at my hat with the large bow on my head, my curly hair coming out from underneath, my star earrings, my star topped beribboned staff, the matching bow and dress that went with the hat.

The girl in the mirror looked back in wonder at me, then I felt it. A small charge slowly moved up my spine and all my nerves flared into overdrive of excitement. My face beamed a smile back at me and the thrill turned into a nice little girl giggle! If I could have died right then, I would have been in heaven. I was out. I was being accepted. It was marvelous!

I caught a face in the mirror looking over my shoulder, sending my silent joy into a sudden squeak of a squeal as I spun around.

“Hey there, sorry to frighten you. But you look familiar. Do I know you?”

“Um, I don’t know. Do I know you?” Really, I had the most brilliant come back lines ever.

The guy before me was dressed as a swashbuckler, with the right sort of boots with the floppy tops, the tight black pants, the broad leather belt and white open shirt showing off a very nice set of manly pecks with just the right amount of hair upon them. He wore a scarf mask over his head and eyes and he had the deepest voice I had heard in real life.

I mean wow.

I felt weak.

Actually weak.

Seriously, I had to lock my knees together. Damn! No one had ever done that to me before. I didn’t even know anyone could! Had I fully crossed the line? Ye Gods!

“Allow me to introduce myself. I am David, part time swashbuckler to King and Country. And you are?”

“Oh, um. Sakura. I’m still in school, so I’m not much of anything else,” I smoothly covered myself.

He tsk’d me. “I certainly do recognize you Sakura even without your magical cards on hand, but in any event, what is your real name?”

“Oh, Dusty,” fumbled out of mouth. My hand suddenly sprang to my lips in a futile effort to stop what had already been said.

“Ah, fair Dustie. That’s an interesting name. I’ve not heard it before.”

Cleverly I recovered, “My, ah, parents had a sense of humor. My sister’s are named Meadow and Spring. Mine was supposed to evoke sunsets I think.” That really was the truth. My mind wasn’t working well enough to make up lies at this point. I thanked my lucky starts that I didn’t have my brother Rocky’s name or Forest’s. I think Meadow would have been nice though. Thinking about them was bringing me down. I missed them all and the way things should have been.

His eyes twinkled at me. “Well I think that’s well suited. A beautiful name.” He came to my side and started leading me through the room towards another set of open doors. “Is this your first party here?”

“Oh, yes.” I realized then that his hand was holding mine and I was suddenly glad I had gloves on to hide any sweaty palms I might have. “I was told that I could come as an anime character and that he would really like that.”

“Oh, you know him then?”

“Dr. Lon Braselton? No, not at all. One of his staff told me about it. I know her sort of and she wanted me to come. I’m not sure where she is though and she said she’d meet me here.”

“Well then, let’s take a stroll and see what we can see. Perhaps we will bump into her here. I’m afraid I don’t know any of his nurses, so I won’t be of any help. But Lon and I are old school friends and I know he’ll take an interest in meeting you if he sees you. I’ll introduce you if we run across him.”

I felt myself relax slightly at that point. I was worried that he might ask me who it was specifically I was supposed to meet. I was stupid for even bringing up that I was to meet someone in the first place. Still he seemed as ignorant as I was about Dr. Braselton’s staff, so that was a good thing. I’d just have to beg off from meeting him if we did happen to see him around. I smiled at David as he guided me around.

In the next room I was amazed at the costumes that people were dressed up in. There were cat girls, and game girls, and all sorts of fun fantasy type characters. One of the biggest things I realized that none of these costumes were the buy off the shelf kind. They all seemed very good quality type you get in very special type stores, and a few looked to be specially made for their wearers. When I asked, David pointed out that I should have been told that. “Only the best goes into these parties.”

“Oh, I wasn’t aware of it. I make costumes myself, so I guess that is why I wasn’t told since I obviously had the right ones to wear already.”

Luckily he allowed me to use my camera to take a few simple pictures. “Keep it hidden and I’ll let you. We’re not supposed to take pictures here, but given you are a fan of costumes, I guess it can’t hurt.”

I ended up dancing with him for a few dances in the room after that and he was a most perfect gentleman throughout it all. After one of the songs, I happened to spot Jessica and got her picture without her realizing it. It came out well too. And in the next room I was able to get Michael Cheng. There was no mistaking him. Plus his costume was horrible. A very poorly done kung fu type. Seriously, live a little and break out of the mold Michael! At least Jessica made a damn good looking mafia guy.

We ended up taking a rest with drinks in our hands. One of the things I know about myself was that alcohol and I have a certain limit. And I had already passed that limit right after we had danced when I had my first drink. I’m sorry, my limit is less than one drink. Seriously. Don’t laugh at me! I’ve never done well with alcohol or drugs or anything. That’s why I stay away from them. My stomach is way too small and this stuff goes right through and into my blood. I have to be very careful on what I eat or drink and what sorts of medications I take. I have to be Miss Natural.

So as the fourth drink smoothly went into my belly, I was feeling really good. I couldn’t believe my good fortunes so far. And David was especially nice. I felt so good leaning back into him upon the cushions. It was as if I was on a cloud of feathers softer than any silk could ever be. I lifted and turned my head ever so slightly and planted three kisses upon his cheek before he turned to face me directly. His lips were gentle upon mine and his face was slightly rough against my own smooth complexion. We kissed for a while like this before my neck started to hurt and I had to turn back forward. We broke apart for a moment and I finished off the last of my glass, wondering why I didn’t go out more often. Why had I never bother to kiss anyone before? Didn’t I realize what I had been missing?

David’s soft nibbles on my neck broke that train of thought from reaching any sort of conclusion. He reached down and undid the top two buttons of my blouse on my back. It didn’t really give him much access though so he decided to touch me through the blouse and under my dress around my bra, but he found that my phone I had nestled between my dress and blouse was in the way of things. He pulled it out as I pointed to a couple I wanted a picture of. It was Barbara with some guy. They were dressed as a couple from the Victorian age. And I have to say, even though I didn’t really want to admit it, she certainly knew how to pick her guys. He was handsome. Even more so was that I loved her gown and I wished I had one like it. She must be in some sort of corset to fit into it the way she was and I began to wonder if there was some way I could get her out of it so I could steal it. Maybe her date would do it for her. He certainly was acting like he wanted to do so.

David was very kind to snap their picture for me, then he handed my phone camera to someone else and they took a few photos of us as he slowly kissed me and I kissed him back as his hands roamed over my body. I felt him behind me as he poked me in the back with Mr. Happy. I couldn’t believe that I was managing to do such a thing to a guy like him. His smoldering eyes desired me as I held his gaze briefly, before I shyly glanced downward. I wasn’t sure what I could or should do regarding that. Upon seeing my hesitation he had me look around the room and I realized then that what had been a fairly empty room with a few couples in private conversation had blossomed the same way we were. A few were kissing softly, others were deep inside each other with the costumes removed to where they could get to each other. In a few spots, they weren’t just two bodies anymore.

I admit that I wanted to run away in terror. I’m such a prudish girl I guess, but David held me gently and softly kissed me until I relaxed again, allowing his hands to roam over my chest and to push down where my legs met in between. My heart felt queer in a way I never had felt before. Okay, I’m sure that’s a poor choice of words. Yet with each kiss there was a soft flutter in my chest, my breath became shallow and I felt myself wanting David to do more. A lot more. More than I should want him to do, yet I didn’t care anymore. Not then, not at that moment.

I turned into him so we were face to face and kissed him deeply as he held me tightly against him. As I laid upon his chest, his hands pulled my skirt and petticoats higher. Gently his fingers played with the tops of my white stockings where they hooked innocently with the garters that were over my panties. I’m positive the real Sakura wore tights, but I like being a little naughty. Soon they had followed the garters up to dance lightly upon my rear then to grab it in a handful as he pulled me up, turned me around and then back into him. I was so delirious. I don’t do well with breathing since the accident so long ago. My breath was alternating between gasps, gentle moans, and shallow caresses; I couldn’t breathe hard. I had been reduced to panting and I couldn’t do anything further. I couldn’t run because of that. I used to love running. At least I still had my legs unlike…. Oh gods, I was slipping… Please don’t let me faint! Don’t grey out, please… oh this felt so good. His mouth was kissing my lips and my back and all over it seemed, even in two places at once. I didn’t realize for a few minutes that it wasn’t one mouth upon me, but two or three. More than one set of hands as well. My eyes fluttered open and before it was not what I had expected.

Before me was not David, but the man who had been wearing the Victorian style clothes. Now he was mostly out of them and what was aimed in front of me was definitely not the mouth I had been recently kissing! Foolishly I was distracted from behind, my skirt was raised over me and what must have been David pulled my hips upwards to where the pillow was cushioning my knees as I was raised upwards to find something cool being spread over my backside. Someone else was back there with him. My mouth opened to protest, but it could do no more than begin to form a word when my tongue felt something slide over it. My eyes, I’m sure, must have been a sight to make everyone laugh. I’m certain they might have bugged out of my sockets before bouncing off of the body in front of me. There was so much hair there that I had to shut them quick, afraid of what might get in them. This Victorian gentleman proved he was no such gentleman as his hands grasped around my head and started to control how far back I could move away before being pushed back into him. His deep musk invaded me and smothered everything else out.

And of course it was but a distraction. In a few moments, it became clear the more pressing problem laid behind me. I was opened up now in a way that while yes, I admit I had fantasized about before, but honestly never ever thought I would ever do in my life. Yes, I am no stranger to things back there. Yes, okay, you’re right, I have several such toys at home and I have gotten increasingly bolder as to the thickness and size as I worked my way up to take some that were slightly larger than what was in me now. And yes, a few buzzed. Some rocked. Some flexed. Some shimmied even. One even played some Elvis tunes. But Oh My God None had ever felt like what was behind me now! Should I say behind me? More like in me!

What part of me that was offended at such invasions of my personage must have died at that point. Maybe it would come back to life later on, but for now it was well and truly dead beyond any doctor’s ability to revive. Which was funny in a way, as David and the Victorian gentleman? Turns out they were doctors. I didn’t know that then, but I found out later on. I’m sure that had I know it at that point, I would have found myself laughing in the most unladylike way at the most inopportune moment when two such fine men were swaying me back and forth in a rhythm that kept beat with my heart.

I didn’t pass out, but I almost did a few dozen or so times. Eventually they completed themselves. And I kept both as mementoes. Perhaps those mementoes met somewhere in between where they had found entrance. I’m not sure. And afterwards? Yes, I think I could be persuaded to do it all again. Still, at that moment I didn’t care about that. I wanted to luxuriate between these two men and feel them rise to the challenge again. The woman behind the man whom David called Lon laughed a bit when David asked if she had something. I really didn’t catch what he said completely, but I realized what it was shortly thereafter. She handled him a short devise that she removed the wrapper for and as I watched it go into David’s hands I wanted to bury my face where no one would ever see it again. He expertly plugged me from behind and I felt the small string as it rested against me. My panties were then pulled back up and my skirts were pulled back down. It was messy down there and I probably should get cleaned up.

David gently helped me to my feet and after he kissed me further in a way that showed his enjoyment of the entire affair. He introduced me then to Dr. Braselton and to Barbara. He found my anime girl outfit truly amazing. Which was why he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to have a chance with someone dressed like me. He also seemed to get into magical girls, but not like I did. Then he let Barbara help me reach the bathroom where we both went in. To say I was terrified is to express my feelings in a way that belittled what I really felt. She helped clean me up and her hands strayed upon my rear in a way that suggested she was willing to do so much more, touching the tip of my hidden treasure. I could only shake my head. She then applied a pad to my panties to help with anything that might leak.

“First time was it Dustee?”

I nodded.

“Don’t worry. If you want to come back and join in, we’ll be waiting for you. In the meantime, you might want to fix yourself up a bit. All that is hell on the makeup. And your hat looks like it might be coming off.” Before she left me though she turned around and handed me my camera, “Oh, I’m sorry but I saw the pictures and had to erase them. I’m not sure why David didn’t tell you, but we have a very strict rule about taking photos of others. And I hope you don’t mind, but I used what memory you had to film the three of you. Come join us when you’re ready? The two doctors are quite taken with your company. I wouldn’t mind sharing some of you as well. If you want, we could go to my place sometime and play dress up.” I was so lucky that she didn’t know my real name. All she knew me by was Moon. She left me then, letting me decide what I really wanted to do. I could return to the three of them for some more pleasure of their company or I could leave. My skin was tingling. Every time I touched myself, I felt my spirit weakening and my desire to be with them again. It was amazing to have people feel pleasure with me. That I could give them pleasure… Oh wow! I wanted to go and get Barbara to trade costumes too and so much more. I wanted to go back, but there was that voice screaming at me that I needed to get out of there. That something was majorly wrong. That I shouldn’t be feeling so … well, everything! I didn’t know what I might do next.

“So what did you do?” Winner asked.

“Huh?” Was I drooling? I could tell I was smiling stupidly.

“You said you got the address, it was a party that required costumes, so you had to wear a costume to get in. You had picked up a disposable cell phone to take pictures…”

“Oh! Yah, sorry. Did I fall asleep? I’m so sorry. I … Well, I went to take pictures. It was a costume party and everyone was required to wear one, so dressed like this I was able to get in unnoticed by them and actually get close enough to all four of them. No one recognized me, which is good. I wasn’t able to take any pictures, they had a rule about it and wiped my camera’s memory. But I did get these.” I reached into my purse and pulled out three invitations.

“Well that certain puts all three of them with him. Look at that, they have their first and last names on them plus his with the address, the date and time of his party,” Charles noted.

“Charles, don’t touch them. Get a zip lock bag and wear some gloves to put them inside there. We might need to use them as evidence.” Winner turned back to me and asked, “Where did you get them?”

“Well, I had found them by the front door. There was a basket that the guards were putting the invitations in. So I flicked through them, found theirs, and slipped them out hidden in my clothing.”

Ralph asked, “While you were there, you said you did see these three employees and Dr. Braselton?”

“Yes, but I’ve nothing to prove that I saw them. And someone could always argue that they were in costume anyway so how did I know it was them and… well there are all sorts of ways you can get out of it. These,” I pointed to the invitations, “should have their fingerprints on them. Which was the best I could do.”

Winner agreed, “Well, if we have need of them we’ll use them I’m sure.”

I was allowed a bathroom break and double checked myself, replacing my pad in case of anything further. I was still dripping. Lucky for me the manager’s bathrooms didn’t require you to pay for anything and they were of a much better quality than what you could find in a normal ladies room. I guess. Okay, so I know it to be true. Don’t judge me! I had taken out the tampon long ago when I had to go to the restroom after Ralph called in his people. What I really needed was something soothing for myself there. I felt very sore and … well, wonderful. Winner had to come and get me out of the bathroom as I had sat there and daydreamed a bit about David. It wasn’t exactly how I imagined my first time would be, but Lord have Mercy! I honestly don’t know if I could even tell that story and have anyone believe it.

Winner made certain I was comfortable before having the recorder turned on again. “Let’s start where we left off. You had left the party, what did you do then?”

“Well, from there it’s pretty much work-work-work. I made it to the office and logged in. I had gotten the idea that I needed to go above James, my account manager. I told you that I didn’t trust him, right? I did? Okay, well, I don’t trust him. So I sat there for a bit and decided who I could call. I guess the best I could do was to contact James’s boss, Mr. Wise here. It took some convincing…”

Ralph butted in, “I have to add this was around two in the morning. So I wasn’t very receptive.”

“More like he thought I was a fruitcake. I think I was babbling too. And I don’t babble at all. Probably the first time in my life ever to do so. Maybe it took me several times to explain it for him to get it. And I thought for certain he was going to call security and send me packing, but he came up and looked at the data I had and I told him that those three were at the party and how all this was pretty much a nightmare.”

“Not to mention that Moon was dressed in the costume that was worn to the party, which reminds me; I couldn’t figure out why you didn’t change before you went back to the office.”

I groaned a bit, “Time sir! It was essential that I get someone else involved before the morning.” I glared at him for a bit until he motioned me to continue. My eyes I’m sure told him, ‘Say something stupid and I’ll tear you up.’ That or, ‘please god don’t let everyone know how drunk I was nor how horny I felt. Not that you knew how horny I was feeling, but god I wanted to do every piece of office supply or furniture I saw.’

Perhaps it was better I continue talking. “So anyway, I get Mr. Wise into the office. He sees what I see, I step him through it. He realizes that there’s something to it all and then he calls in some people to do triage. I worked with them after they arrived over at the server farm and that’s where we are now.”

“That is it.” Ralph looked at Winner and myself. “We’ve already gone over my status as to what happened and all that, so I think that covers it.”

Winner sighed, “It looks like we’re going to have a lot of legal in here this week. I’ll have to alert them after we finish up here. That concludes this interview.”

Charles turned off the recording and said, “It’ll take me a little bit of time to type all this up. I’ll be faster if you don’t bug me about it.”

“Yes, yes, I am sure you will. Get on it. Let’s get copies made, get legal involved, we’ll sign them tomorrow, and then lock them up. In the meantime, we’ll sit here and go over anything we need to do next.”

“Can I go home now?” I pleaded. I’m certain I was confident and not pitiful.

Winner shook her head apologetically, “Sorry Miss Trail, we should cover some other items first.”

My heart thumped with what she said. I gave her my best sunshine smile. “I like you.” At least I hope it was sunshine and not creepy.

She paused for a moment, not quite sure what to make of that. “That’s nice. Ralph, I don’t think she’s able to drive home.”

“You called me Miss,” I supplied, figuring she needed to know why I liked her. Like I said, I felt I was probably a little creepy and I didn’t want to give that sort of impression. I mean, here I was a short and very skinny guy dressed in my best magical girl costume. It was a time to make good and important impressions.

Ralph turned away from us and must have caught something in his throat as he was coughing a bit.

“Ralph? Ralph Wise you had best get that out of your system and start answering me.”

He finally recovered, thanks to a few chugs from his water bottle. “I think, given the way she is acting now and how she acted on the recording that we probably should have her examined by a professional doctor at the hospital.”

I tripped. It’s not my fault. I was running and my skirt got caught and oh my god I hope I didn’t rip it… anyway, I’m the ground. You know, there is a pretty nice carpet on this floor.

How come they are yelling?

“You got her? Help me get her to her feet. Easy Moon, you’re okay. Everything is going to be A-O-Kay, alright honey?”

I gave Winner a hug. “I like you. You’re so cool. And you look so good in that dress. I wish I could look that good. Did you come straight from church? I’m sorry I ruined your Sunday.”

“Ralph, I think that’s a good idea.”

“What? Getting her to a doctor?”

“Damn IT RALPH!!!” yelled Winner.

How come is it that when you need an elevator to open, it is never on the floor you are on. Even if you pound on the door it still doesn’t open. Who was hugging me? OH, it’s that nice lady. I like her.

“Easy there. Easy… Let’s sit back down, okay?” She shot a look at Ralph daring him to do something stupid.

“I don’t wanna go to the doctors. I don’t wanna get locked up. I’m sane! Really I am…”

“No one is going to lock you up. You are okay. Everything is fine.” Gently, Winner pulled me away from the elevator and back to a chair. “Come on, let’s sit down for a moment.”

“I’m fine, I tell you I’m fine. Please don’t lock me up!”

“No one is going to lock you up. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Ralph guarded the way to the elevator while helping Winner get me to sit down. “She wasn’t acting this way earlier, honestly. If she was I would have got her to the …” At Winner’s death stare, he stopped talking for a moment. “She really was okay earlier.”

I let them know, in case they didn’t get it. “I don’t feel too well.”

“Should we call for a… um, a ride to get some help?”

“Not yet. I think we can get her there faster ourselves.”

“This is why I don’t drink. It really messes me up.”

“What is she talking about?” demanded Winner.

“When I first got to her, she let me know that she had a few drinks at the party, but she was fine then.”

“She had drinks? At the party? What sort of drinks did she have?”

“They were pretty good. Fruity and cool. But I really don’t like to drink. I had four of them. I tried to tell David I didn’t like to drink, but he wanted me to and I didn’t want to look like a party pooper. They tasted good too.”

“Ralph, sit here. I’m pretty sure that they weren’t ‘innocent’ alcoholic drinks.”

I protested, but she didn’t seem to care. “But I’m nothing but innocent.”

Ralph bent down to look me in the eyes. “Moon, does alcohol make you act this way? Is that why you don’t drink it?”

“Hmm? Oh, not really. I get drunk way too easy. They took most of my digestion stuff after the accident. There’s not much there that’s left to digest things, so nothing works the way it should. Besides, I’m just tired. I don’t feel really good though. Like something is happening with my meds. I didn’t feel good last night either, but I’ve been focusing myself through …”

He called back to Winner, who was on her phone, “Her pupils don’t look dilated, but given her medication issues, maybe we need to let her doctor know in case this is a reaction to them?”

Winner nodded between prompts on her phone, “Okay, let’s get her to the hospital then. Ah shit!”

Okay, this time it was the bow on my heels. I’m pretty sure of it. Cuz I can walk really well in heels and look really good doing it. Women could take lessons from me. Especially some of those women from the customer service department that look like they are stomping around. Did I tell you that some of the actual girls couldn’t walk properly in heels to save their booty. I think I’ll throw up. All those stupid women wasting what god denied me. Oh, throwing up isn’t good. And my head really hit that elevator door really hard. Or was it the wall? Damn, my hat is getting wet from the stupid mess of a puddle thingie I made. Why is life so mean to me? I just want to go home and watch my shows and play along with them. Oh who cares, I’m going to sleep.

Dusty Moon Trail, Part Time Pretend Magical Girl, continues his mixed up ride secretly through the night. Let's hope he has a much better day.

Barbara looked deep into his eyes after the long soul sucking kiss took all his wind. That he was with Barbara was strange enough. That she was kissing him was even more strange. That he was enjoying the soft caress of her lips, the flutter of her touch upon him, and the soft breeze? Okay. That wasn’t too farfetched. After all, he was only human. Who wouldn’t like to be held and appreciated, nay even loved in such a tender fashion? By one’s boss in fact.

“Moon,” she whispered. “I know your secret now.”

Quickly his eyes opened wide, staring out at her and drawing back as far as he could. Appraisingly he asked, “You do?”

“Yes, I do. Did you think that you could come to the party without me knowing who you were? I saw the looks you gave me. I know what it is you desire.” She gave him an evil grin and continued, “And I’ll happily give it to you if you submit to me.”

“Um, no. Thanks, but no. I mean… What do I mean? Oh yes, um… thanks, but no.”

“Is that your final answer?” Her left hand softly stroked his hair, following it down to his ear and then her fingertips traced his jaw line to his chin. “You won’t submit?”

Moon of course, was made of sterner stuff. Laser focus and iron will stronger than anything that could be applied against him. His character was of the stuff that all the foundations of the world wish they could be made of. Tremble before him puny weaklings, for Moon Trail (Part Time Pretend Magical Girl) was made of the indomitable will of legends. None could succeed against him. Confidently he replied, “ah…. well, ah…. I could I guess, but really I shouldn’t. I mean, you’re my boss and that would be weird so I guess I should say no, if that’s okay with you. I’m sorry for that, but really, it is very tempting that is…”

Barbara’s grin disappeared and then grew again into a smile that faded as Moon rambled on. At last she got tired and stopped him, “So it is no then? Fine. Honestly it is so much better if you say no. After all, you don’t have any choice in the matter. You’ve already given me permission.”

“Yup!” A much smaller magical girl appeared from nowhere. She looked exactly like Moon, except she was much softer and curvy in appearance. She circled around above Moon’s head. “I gave it to her. It’s for your own good.”

Moon scrunched up his face and then yelled at his much smaller personage, “I didn’t say it was okay! Look, I’ve got my reasons…OOOOOOWWWWW!!!! Stop that! Stop that!”

Barbara twisted his arm while magical girl Moon tugged at his hair. In short order, his small skinny frame was hauled up to his feet. A white corset was pulled into place around him and the laces were tightened well beyond what he thought they should be. He was thrown into the air and white diaphanous ribbons coiled around his legs and body from seemingly nowhere. As they settled around him, they tightened to his flesh in a flash of sparkling white, transforming into white stockings, panties, a large bustle petticoat, and then the Victorian dress that Barbara wore to the party wrapped itself around him. The mini magical girl twirled her staff and with the incantation, “Moon Magic Makeup!” he was bathed in shimmering and pearly white light. His hair was curled and lifted into an up-do with silver combs holding it in place. His face blossomed and his features were highlighted in soft colors with bold lips and entrancing eyes. Small pearl earrings appeared on his ears and rings graced his soft hands while his fingernails transformed into soft oval tips with a color that matched his bold lips.

Gently he floated back to the ground, his feet sliding into high healed button up boots that were made of soft leather. He teetered there for a moment before he gained his balance once more.

Barbara and Mini-Moon gasped as he took a few steps, twirled and gracefully stepped closer to them. His boss swooned for a moment and exclaimed, “Such mastery of wearing high heels. You could teach other women how to walk in them. You know, there are a bunch of ladies at the office who waste what god gives them in this area!”

“Really?” Moon allowed himself, his hands raised towards his mouth in a soft surprise. “The thought never has occurred to me.”

Barbara fussed around him for a bit, checking his flounces and his well coifed hair. “You look so ravishing. It’s a shame I’m going to have to tie you up and lock you away.”

He smile at her for a second before her words sank in, “Excuse me?”

“Why yes, we can’t have you looking better than me, can we? I mean, what will Lon say? He certainly fancied you before and now I don’t know if there will be a place for me if you are looking this good. It’s a shame really. I had such plans for dressing you up in all sorts of costumes. You know, we could have played mother and daughter games on unsuspecting people. It could have been so much fun.”

“Wait a moment! I’ve no interest in Lon. He’s way too hairy for me. And I wouldn’t take him away from you at all. Plus I really am not into guys!” Moon backed away as gracefully as he could, he was feeling a bit short for breath from all that was happening.

“Yes, you say all that, but I can tell by the way you are breathing that you are wanting to be with him again.”

“Ah, no, really, no. I mean, not really. I really don’t want to be with him. I did like our time together, mostly, but really he’s not my type. For one thing he’s a criminal.”

She pouted, giving him a playful look. “But I’m a criminal too, right?”

“Well, yah, and you really shouldn’t be that way.”

Stretching and presenting her body to him one sweet location at a time, she confessed, “But I am bad. You know it is true. You’ve known from early on and you’ve played this innocent sweet game long enough. It’s time that I show you how good bad can be.”

Grabbing his pendant affixed on his chest Moon said, “No! I can’t allow this. I really can’t.”

“And what do you think you can do about it?”

“Only what a heart pure and strong as mine can do.” Fluttering his lashes, he shimmered in the light and a soft wind danced around him.

Barbara backed away as the winds grew stronger; then sensing her defeat, turned tail and ran off leaving Moon and Mini-Moon behind.

Mini-Moon sat down and watched the display for a while before finally growing bored. “You’ve forgotten the lines?”

“Shh, don’t distract me.”

“You have forgotten them.”

“No I have not forgotten the lines. I wouldn’t be so stupid as to forget the lines.”

“Then why don’t you say them?”

The wind stopped abruptly as Moon let go of his pendant. Sheepishly he said, “Because I haven’t thought them up yet. Everything I try in my head sounds so stupid.”

“Oh, tell me about it. I mean, what gives with all this crap anyway? And talk about ridiculous! How are we to really fight when dressed this way, much less keep it all clean and stuff.”

“I guess magic makes it possible?” Moon kept looking for a way to sit down, but he was distracted by the fact he didn’t want to get his gown dirty. Also that he couldn’t move too well within all the clothes he had on, much less bend down to where he could sit on the ground without falling over half the way.

“Yah I guess. Well, my work here is done.” Mini-Moon got up and pulled out a bag from behind her back.

“Done?”

“Yes. I’ve got another appointment to get to. What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

“You were trying to look up my petticoats! You are such a pervert!”

“I was not! I mean, I was looking at them. They are very cute. I was wondering how you made them.”

“None of your business you pervert!” A curtain rod appeared and Min-Moon pulled the attached curtain shut. Her dress was tossed up and over so that it hung on the rod and she began to mumble from behind the curtain.

Moon tried to walk around to see his miniature magical girl self, but the curtain always moved to block his view. “What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to guide me or something?”

Her head poked up and then she found where he was now standing. “What are you talking about?”

“You know, isn’t this like a spirit journey or something?”

The dress was pulled off the rod and shortly the curtain was thrown open. Mini-Moon was now dressed in black leggings with large clunky black boots and a baggy black sweater that was belted at the waist. Her hair was now dark, long, and limp, having lost all of its curl and body. She pulled out a black wand and pointed it at her face, mumbled and her eyes were lined with darkness and her black lipstick matched her nails.

“Spirit journey? Are you nuts?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m heading out. I’m only a part time magical girl. You know, ‘part time’? And my clock says I’m off duty now.”

“But… but what about me? Can you help me? This costume is too heavy for me and I can’t seem to find any zippers or working buttons on this thing. It’s like it was never meant to be taken off!”

“Well, yah. Real magical girl clothes appear around the person. They come off in the same way, by magic.”

“But I don’t have any magic! That was all you!”

“Sucks to be you, huh kid?” Then she popped out of existence.

“But?” Moon looked around. He was alone in a secluded area surrounded by bushes and trees. The sun was heading down to the horizon and the cool breeze fluttered across his dress. “Oh crap. I’ve got to walk?”

He began to make his way through the countryside and found a nearby path. He kept a very slow and careful pace as he wound his way along and among the trees and bushes. His breath was shallow and regular and when it became a little labored, Moon stopped to help with the recovery. It wasn’t easy to breathe for him in this corset and dress. He had to be very careful that he wasn’t going to pass out.

Passing out was something he was intimately familiar with. He had to always exercise extreme restraint upon himself to avoid getting into trouble by running out of breath. It was one of his many curses. That’s why he didn’t wear tight corsets when he was in costume, even when the costume called for it. He always needed to keep it simple with enough room to breathe.

And if he passed out here… He’d be alone and vulnerable and inside this gown. He laughed a little. He’d have the ‘vapors’ alright. Still, who knew what might find him like this. He didn’t want to get…

"ggggrrrrrrooooowwwwwwlllll...."

Aw crap!

Moon turned his head trying to locate where the deep growling might be coming from. It seemed to be from down the path he had come from. And even though he had no idea what it was, it was not wise for him to stick around and found out. Growls tended to not be a friendly sort of thing, after all.

His feet moved as quickly as they could within the skirt. He lifted the hems up to help him move a little faster. The growling seemed to be gaining on him. As he topped the rise he risked looking back down hill to see if he could make out what was chasing him, but his feet caught on a tree root and he stumbled down the hill, rolling and rolling with his skirts flying in every direction. He lost his pendant and his hair was soon a mess. His gown suffered the most damage though, with rips and tears and mud and grass stains covering it throughout. When he finally came to a stop, he laid on his side in a large mud wallow and panted as his vision began to gray out.

When he could finally see again, there was a fox before him. The canine teeth showed a pearly white as the mouth opened towards him. “Are you okay, my lady?” the fox asked.

“Okay?”

“Why yes, I came upon you here in the mud taking a nap. I’ve stood guard over you until you could come to.” As the fox spoke, Moon became aware that he was wearing boots that protected his feet from the worse of the mud and he wore a belt with a rapier and a large brimmed hat with a jaunty long feather stuck in the brim.

“Who are you?”

“Why, I am Brother Fox, serving King and Country, my lady. And who are you?”

“Oh, well… I am …” Moon struggled to find a good name for himself, but couldn’t find anything that suited things. It was at that moment that a rabbit darted across the path in the distance, and upon seeing it behind Brother Fox, Moon exclaimed. “Rabbit!”

“What’s this?” Brother fox turned around quickly to see what might be behind him, tripped and fell hind end first into the mud. He slowly scanned the area as he turned back. “Rabbit huh? You seek to trick me?”

“What? No, not at all!” Moon tried to pull himself up, but his hands were stuck in the tar like mud. He tried to turn and get to his feet, but the corset held him tightly and rigidly to where bending was not possible.

“So, you now find yourself at my mercy, eh? You try to make sport of me and now you are stuck and in need of my help.” Fox walked around to Moon’s backside. “Lucky for you I am always a fine upstanding citizen. Let me help you by pulling your skirts up first. Then we can pull the rest of you up and back on your feet.”

Moon didn’t know what to think. His hands stuck in the muck, his feet were pulled to where his rear end was sticking straight up into the air with his hands and feet in the ground. Brother Fox hoisted his skirts and suddenly cried out, “What’s this! You have tricked me again! You are a Brother!! And you said before your name is Rabbit? My continual tormentor? Brother Rabbit? You’re disguise certainly had me fooled. You are making sport of me!” Brother Fox’s hand struck Moon’s bottom close to the offending object he found under his panties.

Fox backed away and began to stalk back and forth. “You thought you could get away with it too, you scoundrel. So Brother Rabbit, what do you have to say for yourself? Hmm?”

“I’m sorry, I really am. But I could really use your help. This mud,” Moon indicated with his nose as his hands and feet were both stuck in the tar like substance, “has me right good. I can’t seem to get loose! My name is Moon by the way, and I’m not this ‘Brother Rabbit’ person. It’s a rather funny series of unfortunate circumstances that have led me here today. I’ve meant no offense nor have I tried to lead you on in any way.” Looking at Brother Fox, Moon saw that he was grinning in a very nerve wrecking way. The grin turned into a chuckle which grew as the moment went on.

"I've got you this time, Brother Rabbit," said Brother Fox, jumping and laughing for joy. "You've tricked me for the very last time. Now I wonder what I should do with you? Maybe I should roast you over a fire and eat you. No, that's too much trouble. Maybe I'll hang you instead. If I'm going to hang you, I'll need some string. And I don't have any string handy. But the stream's not far away, so maybe I'll drown you instead."

As the fox laughed, Moon looked around hurriedly. He spotted to the side down the path a large building jutting up into the sky. If Moon could get in there, he’d be safe and perhaps be able to get out of the clothes and the situation he was in.

“Oh please Brother Fox, whatever you do, please don’t throw me into the building over there.”

"The building over there, eh?" said Brother Fox. "What a wonderful idea! That’s the executive manager’s building. You'll be torn into little pieces!"

Grabbing up the mud-covered Moon, Brother Fox pulled him out of the sticky tar like mud and swung him around and around and then flung him head over heels into the building. Moon let out such a scream as he fell that all of Brother Fox's fur stood straight up. Moon fell through a window with a crash and a mighty thump. Then there was silence.

Moon popped up and looked out of the broken window. Brother Fox stared at him from well off in the distance and Moon gave him a large raspberry.

He turned away from the window and went into the hallway chuckling to himself. Luckily he hadn’t hurt anything after having been thrown through a window. He was made of very stern stuff after all. He laughed as he pulled the tattered gown from his body, then stripped out of the muddy ruined petticoat and shoes. But with a growing nervousness, he felt like he was no longer alone. He looked up from where he stood, surrounded by his old clothes and dressed only in his corset, stockings, and panties. He definitely wasn’t alone.

“ah….. I need to get out of here. I’m sorry, I came in by mistake.” The office in front of him was filled with penises. All of them were busy working at their desks and having meetings, but after seeing him, they began to rise one and all, stiffening as they raised themselves up.

“No really, don’t get up on my account. In fact, stay relaxed please. I’m going to just … “ Moon pointed to the door. “I’m going to leave now. Please excuse my intrusion.” They all froze at that word, ‘intrusion’, seemingly looking at each other before reaching their silent tally about the whacking that was being voted upon, a tally-whacker vote as it were. Then they suddenly surged forward as Moon turned to scramble, only to fall flat on his face before reaching the door.

“What’s his problem?” the nurse asked as she stood before his bed. Moon was cleaned up and thus gone were all traces of his being a part time pretend magical girl. His hair had been washed and it hung there limply, having lost all of its body and curls. His face was pale without any makeup and his eyes seem much smaller without anything to define them and help them standout. An oxygen mask covered his mouth and nose, allowing him to breathe easier than normal.

The second nurse stepped up and checked the readout from the machine hooked up to his chest under his gown. Then she verified that his arms were still strapped to the sides of the bed with the call button within each reach if he were to wake up.

“Nasty bump on his head and some really bad medication interactions. This guy’s been through some hell last night.”

“Why the straps?”

“He keeps thrashing around and at times he’ll start to yell. It’s so he doesn’t accidently hurt himself or pull anything off.”

“Well hopefully he’ll come around soon. And I hope he has a much better day.”

Moon is recovering within the hospital as discoveries are… well, discovered.

A heavy set man dressed in a well-worn shirt and tie came out of the bathroom. His clothes had seen a lot of wear since when they were new and now they were starting to show their age from not only it being twelve years since he bought them, but from being one of the few suits he would still fit into. He didn’t mind much, not having things for himself, because it meant that he could provide something for his kids. Every little bit counted.

He called out down the hall, “Connie, is Dusty okay?”

“He’s still coming off the flu if that’s your question. Other than that, he’s been okay today. Why?” She came out of the kitchen and into the hall. Like him, she was still in her work clothes. Older jeans, worn steel toe boots, and a navy button down shirt that had “Connie” embroidered on one side and the company patch attached to the other side.

“Well, he’s not doing well now.” He moved to the side as the bathroom door opened and a small, twig like boy came out. His pale skin was offset by his dark brown hair. Looking at the three of them, you could tell he favored his mother as she also was exceptionally thin, standing about 5’5”, and with the same color hair. Where his was in a bowl cut, hers was thick and tied back away from her face. He looked like a miniature version of her.

“Hey Mom. I’m not feeling so well,” he explained.

She quickly strode down the hall, passing the rows of pictures showing their family. Their eldest in his last picture from when he was eighteen, a husky boy who favored his father; their second eldest, a blond broad shouldered girl who favored both parents on her first day in college, her parents both on one knee to be at eye level as she was in her wheelchair; their third child in a recent picture, a brunette wearing glasses posed in her seventh grade cheerleader outfit; their forth, Dusty holding a first place medal from a 5k run; and their last, a young boy in a Webelos scout uniform who also favored his mother in the face, but his father in his stocky build. Theirs was a family who had seen an early loss in their eldest, but one who persevered through that dark time and met each day as a challenge to be better than the last.

She placed her hand on Dusty’s forehead, following to his cheek. “Well, your fever isn’t that bad. Let’s get you back into bed.”

“Yes Mom. Oh, I need to get something.” He ducked back into the bathroom and came out with his eldest sister’s flower pattern blanket and then he was escorted to bed. His dad Roman didn’t mind, much…. It bothered him that his second son was somewhat feminine, but only in the sense that he knew how hard of a life his kid would face in school from the other students. Once he got out of this crappy little town, he’d be much better off. Until then, he’d have to live with the prejudices that neither parent could completely protect him from.

All night each of them kept checking on him. Cleaning him up with every bucket duty they performed. By the morning, both knew something was definitely wrong. This was something much worse than the flu. Dusty had begun to stare listlessly into space and seemed drained of any effort to do everything. They couldn’t shake him out of his funk. Roman wrapped him up in the blanket and placed him into the car, rushing off to the emergency room, not wanting to waste time with trying to get an appointment with the doctor. There was some confusion when he was admitted, his fault really since Dusty had gotten his own pajamas dirty and was wearing his sister Meadow’s sleep shirt over his own shorts and using his eldest sister Spring’s flower cover blanket. Meadow and Dusty were both the same size, so they often wore each other’s t-shirts, jackets, shoes, shorts, and pants. Roman and Connie both drew the line early on to hand-me-downs between those two, but that didn’t stop them from sharing things. Thankfully for Roman, Dusty didn’t wear everything of his sister’s as some things were definitely too girly for him to be seen in.

The day disintegrated into a repeat of their previous nightmare back when his first born Rocky had died from a motorcycle accident that sent Spring into the hospital. Dusty was soon care-flighted to a larger and better hospital. He was a difficult child to treat since he didn’t react well to medications. Some worked as expected, others more so, others less so, and still others in ways that were very unexpected.

Whereas Rocky had died soon after he arrived at the hospital, it was his eldest daughter who struggled to stay alive. In the end, both of Spring’s legs had been amputated. It was a miracle that she had survived at all. At least she had been wearing Rocky’s helmet. That was probably what saved her and doomed him.

And now they were back in the hospital again, with yet another of their children fighting to stay alive.

It was the aspirins Dusty had taken to help his fever while he had the flu. They hadn’t known the risks associated with taking it coupled with having a virus. Dusty’s brain was swelling beyond his skull’s capacity to expand, squeezing him to death within his own body. The diagnosis was Reye syndrome. Dusty fought to stay alive within the hospital, his first time as a patient and not a visitor. Visiting him within the ICU was difficult for them all, so many memories returning of Spring’s time within there. Thinking daily that this could be the last, fearing to lose yet another child of theirs.

For Dusty, it was a time of confusion, not knowing what was really going on as his brain was pushing against his head and squeezing everything about himself into someone different than he was. He knew at times that he wasn’t thinking straight, but he didn’t always know when those times were. As things improved, he found himself watching his heart beat on the monitor, listening to the nurses give out messages and codes from the speakers, and getting glimpses of others as they were wheeled by his door. Some were in far worse shape than he was. Some were now well enough to be moved out.

He watched his parents with each visit, their faces struggling to maintain a cheerfulness that they did not feel in their heart. He didn’t want to die. Not that he was really scared of dying. Only that he decided that he didn’t want to die yet, not when there was so much to do. He’d never be like Rocky, the strong sportsman type. He wasn’t even like his youngest brother Forest who tended to be a bit wild and easily distracted. The fact that he wasn’t like them wasn’t just in the way they did things. After all, Dusty was an athlete too and he competed by running. And it wasn’t because he knew that he couldn’t measure up to anyone in direct physical strength competition. After all Spring was very strong and could beat most anyone at arm wrestling when she was in school. No, it wasn’t a physical type thing. After all, a body is a body. They come in all shapes in sizes. And even though he was probably closest to his sister Meadow, they were different too. She didn’t have his gift of running and he didn’t have her gift of coordination. No, when it came to his brothers, both of them were different than he was in some other fundamental non-physical way. He recognized it. They did too. Even his sisters knew.

Hell, everyone in his family knew it to some degree. Only they didn’t know how much he was different from everyone else. What he felt like down in his heart.

And he was going to tell them too. Life was too short to hide anymore.

Yes, he’d tell them; when he got out of the hospital that is.

His eyes slowly opened and looked out at the ceiling. He recognized the various things around him fairly quickly. He was intimately familiar with hospitals, way more than he cared to be. He took stock of what was around him and found that his arms had been restrained to the sides of his bed. The oxygen mask felt secure on his head and he could see the IV tubes attached to his hands. More cables could be felt on his chest attached to monitoring devices beside the bed. The logical part of his mind recognized the need for everything, but this didn’t make it any better. He struggled slightly and was finally able to push the nurse call button they had supposedly left in easy reach.

In short order the nurse had arrived and she went immediately to work, looking at his vital signs on his monitors and checking the various machines and connections.

“Could you let me out?” he asked.

“In a moment. I need to get this done and then we’ll get you out of that restraint.”

“I need out please.”

“One moment.”

“You don’t understand. I need out now. Now. I need out…” Moon could feel himself start to slip away. The rational part stepped out of the driver’s seat and he watched as his fear took over. It was an interesting thing to watch. He had seen it time and time before, whenever a hospital had him restrained like this, the old fear came back bringing with it an incredibly painful desire to escape. To not be trapped.

Moon’s arm began to twitch as he continued pleading to be released. None of that was helping him though. The nurse began to back away from him, not sure what she should be doing for him. She hit the call button upon the wall and called for emergency assistance. He could hear her and he understood what she was saying. His voice took flight with more requests.

“No drugs. Lemme go. Lemme go. No drugs. No Drugs NO Drugs… Must get free…”
He felt it begin in earnest then. His rational self left completely, his body stiffening and beginning to convulse. His warm guts leaking out before him. The twisted metal holding him prone, the weight on his chest keeping him from breathing, his legs bent unnaturally…. Unable to scream. Unable to move. Unable to do anything but hear his father calling his name softly before he finally could speak no more.

Then there was freedom. His arms were finally moving and with their release, the hold of the past was also gone and he felt himself returning, his body straining to breathe even with the oxygen mask upon him.

He looked and saw that he was being held by two different people, keeping him from hurting himself, but giving him enough room to move. One of the people holding him looked to be a doctor. He gasped out repeatedly, “Okay. I’m okay.” In a few moments, they finally released him and he focused on regaining his breath.

“Did you not see the chart?” demanded the doctor to one of the nurses who was rubbing her back. “You are NOT to administer any medication without direct authorization. He is incapable of handling things in a normal fashion.”

She looked like she was ready to take his head off, but another nurse pulled her away and out of the room.

The nurse who was beside him who had helped free him was shaking. It always made him sick to his stomach to see how others had to deal with him. It wasn’t something he wished on anyone. Together she and the doctor continued to check him out, making sure everything was still secure, getting him a cup of ice water and using a wash cloth to clean him up a little. He kept telling them how sorry he was for what he had done and thanking them for looking after him. It only made them worry that much more.

“Moon, are you okay?” He wasn’t sure if it was the nurse or doctor who asked.

“Thank you. Yes, I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m sorry for my fits. I don’t like to be tied down. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Really it is. What can we get you?” It was the doctor who was asking.

“My files. Did you get my medical files and history? I have a lot of special needs.”

He actually chuckled at that. “Yes, we have it. You are very smart to have it readily available and organized and indexed.”

“There’s a lot there. So much stuff. So many things. I’m sorry.”

“It is alright. Look, I’m going to leave Rebecca here for a bit until you settle down. She’ll look after your needs until you feel you have recovered, okay?”

“Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a bother Rebecca.”

“Everything is okay Mr. Trail. What should I do for you?”

“Call my sister. She can talk to me. Is that okay? Can we call her? I’m sorry that this is such a hassle.”

Soon his sister Spring was on the speaker system from the phone with him and he listened as she spoke. It didn’t matter what she was saying really, only that it was the sound of her voice. He finally realized she was going through the day to day she dealt with as the owner of a bed and breakfast in the tourist town she lived in.

He interrupted her finally, “Spring?”

“Yes?”

“You can shut up now.”

“Oh, you are very welcome. So what have you gotten yourself into? I got the call last night about your being admitted. A very nice woman by the name of Winner gave me some details about it all.”

“Ah…” the memory of Mrs. Rollins came flooding back into his brain. “Oh god. One moment.” He looked over at Rebecca. “I’m okay now. Do you mind if we have some privacy? No offense intended, but well, there are some things I’m embarrassed about.”

Spring laughed. “He’s embarrassed about how he was dressed when he came in I bet.”

Moon closed his eyes and counted to ten. Rebecca simply smile and responded, “It’s okay. I wasn’t on duty when he came in. So I’ve no idea what he was or was not wearing. However give me a moment and I’ll get you something to wipe your face with after you finish your call.”

He looked at her, his eyebrows cocked in confusion.

She hit the mute button and answered, “You still have some makeup on you.”

It was good he was in the hospital. They could save him when he died of embarrassment.

When she left, he continued, “Spring, I’m sorry for the call.”

“It’s okay little brother. So what were you wearing? All I got from them was that it was something very girl like. They apologized about cutting you out it and they were asking if you had any special needs because of the way you were dressed and all.”

“Damn.” He counted again. “Well, I can always sew another one. I was doing some cosplay when my meds went wonky.”

“Ah ha! That would explain things. Look, you need to add into your medical database thing about that sort of thing. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked about it you know.”

“yah yah.” He waved her off with his hand, even though she was on the phone. “this is only the second…”

“Third.”

“Okay, third time this has happened. I am not going to put that in my file for the rare occasion…”

“Third out of five times.”

“Rare occasion!”

“I’m just glad they didn’t commit you again because of your freaking out.”

“God that was a nightmare. Thanks for bringing that one up.”

“It took awhile to get you out of that mess.”

“Please, don’t remind me.”

“Anyway, I need to know. Do you need me up there or are you okay?”

“I’m fine now. I don’t have any clothes to wear home, but I’ll manage.”

“Please don’t get arrested.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Any time little brother.”

“Spring?” he waited until he had her attention. “Thank you for helping me here. I appreciate it.”

He could hear her voice become a little strained. She was the one constant in his life, his safe guard, his only family. And he was the same for her. “You’re welcome as always. I love you. You take care, okay?”

“Will do. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, alright?”

“Deal.”

Winner pulled into the driveway of a small house in the middle of the street. She knew enough about the area to know it was an older neighborhood that had seen better days. It was a mix of elderly folks and a few young, desperate families barely able to make ends meet. All the houses showed a measure of neglect necessitated by fixed incomes. There wasn’t a garage at the end of the driveway, but it was deep enough for two cars to fit into. Behind her she saw that Ralph had parked along the street in front of the house.

Together they walked up the porch steps and unlocked the front door, Ralph hurrying in to key in the alarm code they were given. Winner stepped in shortly after him and looked around at a very sparsely decorated room. There was a couch, two end tables, and a large recliner chair that made the sitting area. There was a small TV with rabbit ears on a cart tucked into the corner at an angle implying it hadn’t seen much use recently and beside the chair she could see a special power strip and a large wooden container devise that cleverly held and concealed the contents from direct view. She made her way there first. “Here’s his data pad he wanted. Right where he said it was.”

Behind the place where the end table met the chair and couch, tucked neatly away and fully accessible from the chair was a medium size oxygen tank with a mask and hose carefully arranged on a hook in easy reach of the chair. Winner shook her head at it all. The house smelt similar to her grandmother’s. There was always this scent of age hanging about whenever she had gone to visit. A sort of medicine smell coupled with decay.

Ralph poked his head into the cupboard. “Geez. Moon has nothing here to eat. I mean, all that’s here is a case of water bottles and some really simple soups. Let’s see… some bowls, plates, and cups, but not many of them.” He went and opened the pantry, “Ah, here’s a whole bunch of bags of… nutrient powder?”

“Ralph, you should stop poking around. We’re not here to intrude on his privacy.”

“But what does he eat? There’s only this small dorm fridge and it doesn’t have much of anything either.”

“If you had read some of his file, you’d know that he had most of his stomach and intestines taken out when he was younger. Some horrible accident that laid him up for a few years in the hospital. But it left Moon unable to eat regular foods. He’s on a very special and mostly liquid diet.”

Ralph chuckled. “And here you were telling me not to snoop.”

“I wasn’t snooping. I was learning the needs of our employee.”

“Right,” he smirked. “You know, this place is very clean. Very much like his cubicle. Not a whole lot of stuff around.”

She nodded and replied, “Enough for someone to live with.”

She laughed as she looked at a few pictures on the wall. “He was an adorable child though. He looks a lot like his mother.”

Ralph looked over the pictures and noticed, “The frames are immaculate. No dust at all. He takes care of all his things it seems.” He pointed to a Christmas photo of Moon sitting next to a blond with broad shoulders sitting in a wheelchair. “I believe that is his sister Spring.”

“She’s very pretty.”

“Yes. She is. What was she like on the phone?”

“Professional. She’s been through this a few times from what she told me. Moon is very fickle when it comes to medication and things don’t always turn out well for him.”

“Well, we better get his clothes. I, uh, don’t feel very comfortable going in there alone. I’m sort of, well…”

“Afraid to see what Moon wears under it all? I understand. Tell you what, we’ll do it together. If we find that it is more suited for the other to gather things, we’ll handle it that way.”

He chuckled. “I’ve the feeling that you’ll handle the undies and I’ll take care of the rest of the clothes.”

The bedroom was small and equally sparse as the living room and kitchen. The bed had a mechanical lift system with railings, very similar to a regular hospital bed. Beside it was another oxygen tank with mask. Beside the bed was a night stand with a large radio alarm clock that had come from at least twenty years ago. The only two other items in the room was a chest of drawers and a butler chair that held some sweats, house slippers, a t-shirt.

They opened the drawer indicated in their instructions from Moon, “Standard stuff here. Nothing out of the ordinary for a young man.” Winner motioned to the closet. “Why don’t you get the tote bag and get him his pants and shirt?”

Ralph opened the closet and was relieved to see it contained the standard assortment of men’s clothing. He mentally chided himself over his concerns about what he might find. It wasn’t like Moon didn’t have the right to wear what he wanted to wear, but he felt like he was intruding in a place he didn’t belong. Privacy by its very concept indicated ‘private’, as in not being known, especially by him.

He found the tote in a shelf unit comprised of multiple boxes that held various things. Shoes were all in the lower, smaller boxes and shirts, shorts, and sweats were in the upper larger squares. He collected the tote first, then returned for the shoes, jeans, shorts, sweats, and shirts he had on his list.

Winner had already finished packing the tote with her items from the list, so it didn’t take long to arrange and pack the rest of the requested things, along with the data pad. He heard Winner exclaim in the distance, “Oh dear Lord….”

He stepped out and saw that she had opened a second bedroom door and was standing in the middle of it with her mouth hanging open as she surveyed the room. Sticking his head in, he glanced around and saw racks of clothes along one side of the wall followed by shelves and bins of colorful and at times fanciful shoes, hats, and strange staff and weapon like items. Winner was staring at several sewing machines arranged on tables and another set of shelves loaded with bolts of fabric that to Ralph’s eyes, seemed like way more stuff than anyone could really use.

“What is all this?” he asked her as she examined the various machines in front of her.

“What this is…” she paused and shook her head, “What this is, well, it is amazing! Look at these!” She pointed at a few things and machines that didn’t mean much of anything to him.

“Sewing machines?” he asked helpfully.

“Not just any sewing machines. These are some of the best you can get and he’s got multiple types here. I think he has everything he could use to make anything he might want. I’m envious! I mean, I sew some, here and there, but this…” she motioned not only to the machines but the rest of the room, “this is the realm of someone who is dedicated and highly skilled as a seamstress. Look at this!” She rushed over and fingered an elegant military style jacket hung on one of the racks. “Exquisite. Look at the needle work here. This is…. Well, it is simply amazing.”

Ralph mused, “Isn’t seamstress what you call a woman who sews?”

Winner didn’t notice what he had said as she looked behind a portable partition and visibly cooed her approval.

“What is it?” Ralph moved over to where she was and saw her looking at a very elegant dress for a child that was tacked up on a small dress form. Other dress forms were tucked against the wall. “What is this?”

“This is beautiful is what it is. It must be a flower girl’s dress. Dear Lord this boy has talent. Do you see how he’s …” she stopped as she looked at Ralph’s uncomprehending face. “You have no idea how professional this is, do you?”

“Not a clue.”

“I would say that Moon has a second career as a dress maker or costume maker by some of these things. And he isn’t messing around with it either. The quality of work he’s doing is extremely good. I suspect he could go toe to toe with the best in town.”

“Dr. Steele? What brings you to our wing today?” Rebecca asked. She looked at the his dark wavy hair and found herself lost for only a moment. ‘Drake Steele’ might be a silly macho-type name for a doctor, especially one who was exceptionally handsome, but it didn’t mean he didn’t warrant the macho image it implied nor decreased the number of people who admired him for his good looks and charm.

“Ah, hello Rebecca. How are the kids?” He flashed her a smile as his hand marked where he had stopped reading on the chart he held.

She couldn’t help but smile back. Drake not only was a dream in every regard, he always seemed like it wasn’t any big deal that he was. A quiet modesty that went well with his relaxed demeanor and friendly behavior. She had never once heard of him using his appeal upon anyone or taking advantage of any one. It was like he was willing to be friendly and kind and keep inside the rules that everyone followed.

“They’re doing well. I’ve been using that cook book you recommended and it has really helped Tom with his appetite.”

He laughed and commented, “Boys that age seem to consume whole refrigerators. And they hardly ever gain a single pound from it either. Life’s not fair, isn’t it?”

“No it certainly isn’t. So who are you here to see?”

“A Mr. ‘Moon’ Trail. I need to make sure that his dietary needs are up to date and being met. He’s down this hall here?” Drake motioned down the hall he was facing.

“Ah, no. Sorry, it’s the other direction.” She told him the room number.

He shook his head, “I get so turned around on these floors at times. Thanks for pointing the way.” He smiled at her again and began walking the right way down the hall.

Looking over the history, he was amazed that this patient ever survived the initial accident. His guts had been impaled and destroyed, part of his lung had to be removed from the damage sustained, and it looked like he had spent years in the hospital recovering the use of his legs. All this was about twenty years ago too, and though he didn’t like to think along the lines, the things they did back then seemed like the dark ages to him. Not that their hearts weren’t in the right places, but the equipment and techniques they used back then couldn’t measure up to what they had today. He chuckled to himself. That’s probably what they’ll say about us in another twenty years.

He knocked on the door and upon hearing permission, he stepped into the room. A nice private room too. That made things easier when dealing with privacy concerns. He walked in, putting the chart down purposefully to his side so that he could give his attention to the person in front of him and not the patient on paper. Someone had been by already and brought a change of clothes for the man. That’s always a good sign. Mr. Trail sat up in his bed, oxygen mask on below large glasses that sort of took over his face. His hair looked clean and was a little damp, pulled back straight into a low pony tail. He even smelt like he had a shower not long ago as well. The small man placed his data pad down on the table next to him and looked up expectantly.

He looked so thin and tiny. So young too. If he hadn’t known that this was a man in his early thirties, he might have thought he was in the wrong room. It was best to check in any case.

“Mr. Moon Trail?” he inquired. “I’m Dr. Drake Steele. I’m here to make sure we’re following the right dietary requirements. Specifically, I need to make sure we’re current with your needs.”

The young man paled rapidly and his free hand clamped over his mouth. He finally squeaked out, “David?”

Dr. Drake David Steele looked at him a moment and then it clicked for him, “Dustee?” This was that magical girl he had met the night before!

Sometimes there’s no turning back.
And…
Sometimes there’s no moving forward.

“David?” I couldn’t believe what was happening. I felt like running, but there was no place to go.

He dropped the folder he had in his hand and the impact echoed in the room.

I tried to speak a thousand things at the same time, “Uh, um…”

“Dustee?” he asked again.

“Um, yah.” I gave him a little wave with my free arm. “Hi?”

I could see him swallow and glance around. Then he bent over and picked up the chart. “Um, I don’t know if you want me as your physician or not.”

“Physician?”
“Yes. I am a Gastroenterologist. I was assigned to work with your special dietary needs. I work here,” he gestured helpfully.

“Oh,” I answered. Then to be helpful I told him, “I’m only visiting.”

“I can see that.” He suddenly grinned and then looked away.

“What?”

He supplied, “I was thinking that you look pretty different since last time I saw you.”

“Oh, yah. I’m sorry.” I struggled to find something to add to that.

He looked back down to his feet, “So I…”

I busted through, “Sorry, my hair’s not normally curly.”

He looked up at my face to check my hair, “Oh. Yes, well…”

“And I normally don’t wear glasses. I can see fine without them for the most part, but I find they help me when I’m not feeling 100%. I like to think of them as hiding my secret identity, like Clark Kent.”

“They are quite…”

“And I use oxygen because I don’t have all my lung on my left side, but I don’t always have to use it. I can actually do quite well without it if I’m calm and not doing anything too vigorous….”

He touched my arm, “Dustee, please. It’s okay.”

“What’s okay? Something is wrong? I don’t know of anything wrong. Everything is fine here!”

He began to talk over me, “Everything is fine. Really, You’re okay. I’m okay. It isn’t like I didn’t know you weren’t 100% female you know. I am a doctor and I had a very good look at you from behind.”

I cleverly responded by pulling the sheet over my head.

“Dustee?”

I moaned softly behind the sheet, “how did you know?”

“Seriously? You’re asking me how I knew you weren’t really…” he trailed off, not sure how to proceed. I helped him out by not saying anything.

He took a deep breath. “Okay, let me set a few things to rest here, okay?” Responding my sheet covered nod, he continued, “First off. Are your records here up to date regarding your dietary needs?”

I put my hand out from under the sheet. “Can I see them?” He handed them to me and I put my glasses on over the sheet, then pretended to review them. “Yes, they are up to date.”

Chuckling he took the records back. “Okay, so let me help you out here…”

“No, really. They are up to date.”

“How do you know they are up to date?”

“Because I update them and review my data all the time.”

“Humor me please.”

“What’s the date on the record for last update?”

“It doesn’t say here, which is why I am asking.”

Moon pulled the sheet off his head, his hair now in disarray. “It doesn’t? Let me see that.”

Moon looked out of the corner of his eye at David, who was examining him as well.

“Looking good,” Moon declared. “That is, um, the document that is. It’s good.”

“Uh-huh. So are you ready to go back to eating regularly?”

“I guess so. I don’t know how long I’ll be here though.”

“Well, we’ll set you up for a few days, then if you need something more we can get it for you. I’ll personally make sure that you’re doing well on a daily basis…. That is, if you’d like for me to drop by.”

Moon let that hang in the air for a moment. David stopping by? On a daily basis?

“I, uh, I’m not sure if I can handle that.”

“Do you mind if I at least try it one more day?”

Swallowing, Moon considered it for a moment. If it worked out, then it would be okay. “Sure. One day at a time.”

“Exactly. Now that we have the diet element out of the way, can I ask what brought you to my place of business?” David smirked at Moon’s frown.

“Okay. Medically. We’re talking medically, right?”

“Yes, medically.”

Moon did his best to briefly sum up his problem with medications, and how difficult it was when he had to change them and how sometimes they didn’t do well at all with his situation.

“I see. Well, that’s okay. Now if you don’t mind, how did you end up at the party the other night? I went through the invitations afterwards, looking for your name ‘Dustee’, and I couldn’t find you at all.”

Looking away, Moon clarified for him, “Oh, well, I… That is…” Then suddenly, “Wait, you looked for me?”

David smiled at him, a sparkle coming to his eyes. “Yes, I looked for you. I enjoyed our time together. Both before and during. And I was hoping there would be an after as well.”

“After?” squeaked Moon.

“Yes, after. I was interested in knowing you better.”

Pointing to the file, Moon provided, “Well, you know a lot about me now.”

“Indeed. Look, I have to continue my rounds. And I know that this is still very uncomfortable for you, and awkward, …”

“… and weird, and disturbing.…”

“Exactly my point. It’s uncomfortable for me too. Look, I’m going to arrange to drop by tomorrow after my shift and see about talking to you some. If that’s okay? Not as a doctor, but as someone who wants to … um, visit with you.”

Moon felt flushed. “Okay.”

“Fine. It’s a date. I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

After David left, Moon’s brain finally re-engaged. “Date? Oh My God! DATE?”

Spring laughed on the other end of the line, “So you’ve got a date tonight when he gets off work?” He had called her up like he said he would, grudgingly revealing more and more details of what had happened in an attempt to find some sort of advice or help.

“Look, it isn’t a date.”

“You said it was a date. He said it was a date. You both say it is a date. That’s what you said.”

“Yes, I know what I said, but it isn’t a ‘date’ type of date.”

“Well of course it isn’t that.”

“I’m glad you see it my way.”

“If it was a ‘date’ type of date, you’d have to put on your best dress, have your hair done, and then your nails…”

“Spring! You ass! It isn’t that way at all!” Spring laughed on the other end for a moment and then Moon continued, “And I don’t wear dresses or get my hair done or nails or anything like that!”

Spring let the silence hover for a moment. “Dusty, you aren’t fooling anyone. We’ve had this conversation before, right?”

“And you are wrong! I’m not that way!”

“And yet you have a date… sorry, a meeting scheduled… Wait, is he attractive?”

Moon accidentally softened in his reply, “Yah, he is.”

“So it’s a date with a man whom you find attractive…”

“Who told you he was attractive?”

“You did, just now.”

“I did not.”

“You are in huge denial. Admit it.”

“Spring, sometimes I don’t like talking to you.”

“That’s because you know I’m right.”

Moon hit the button to shut off his phone.

David sat at the table and looked absently out over the rest of the restaurant, “Look, Lon…”

“So? What gives?”

“It isn’t like that.”

“What? You mean you are actually smitten with her?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Barbara asked as she sat down.

“Look, it’s nothing,” David sat his drink down rather forcefully.

Lon pointed to him, “Our good friend here is pining over that bit of ass he had Saturday night.”

Barbara smiled, “Oh, her! She was rather delicious wasn’t she. I wouldn’t mind having her out again, if possible. So Lon honey, who is this mystery girl? What was her name again? Dustee?”

Lon frowned, “I’m not familiar with anyone by her name. I thought that maybe you had invited her or something.”

“No, I hadn’t.”

“She crashed the party I think,” supplied David helpfully.

“How did she do that?” Lon grew serious.

“I’ve no idea. I looked for her invitation afterwards, but I couldn’t find it. Now yesterday she shows up in the hospital because she had a bad reaction to her medication. I walked in and found her there in bed….”

Barbara laughed, “And then you jumped into bed with her all over again?”

David glared at her for a moment. “You know, there are times when your attempts at humor aren’t even worth the attempt.”

She stiffened, but held her tongue when Lon placed his hand on her knee under the table.

“So what is her name? Did she give a fake one or something to you? I’m curious if she had an invitation or not. My front door staff should not have let her in if she wasn’t on the list.”

“Oh, she had a different name in the hospital. Her first name for real is Dusty, with a y and not two -e’s- like I thought. But she goes by the name Moon Trail.”

Lon felt Barbara’s leg jerk violently and he quickly squeezed it so she wouldn’t make another sound. “Oh! Yes. I guess she was hiding the fact that her name isn’t normal or something. But yes, she’s on the list.” He smiled as he said it, but his mind began to race.

“She’s on the list then? That’s good. I didn’t ask if she had crashed, but I assumed it because she was so embarrassed about the whole thing.”

Lon gave a nod, “Probably because she ran into the man who had used his scimitar so well upon her.”

David frowned at him, “At times I wonder why I even bother with the two of you.”

Barbara recovered enough to reply, “Because old friends are good friends.”

“And friends help hold each other secrets,” Lon reminded.

Moon gently eased himself out of the taxi, allowing the driver to help him out and to retrieve his bag as well.

“Are you going to be okay, miss?” the driver asked.

Moon stretched and sighed at being called ‘miss’. It happened from time to time and he had learned not to bother trying to correct people. It sometimes made them uncomfortable and the whole situation would always become awkward. “I’ll be okay. I’m a little slow, but I’ll be okay.”

“Let me at least carry your bag.”

With the bag dropped off inside his house and the taxi driving off, Moon closed the door and leaned against it. They had let him go early. There was that part of him that was happy about that, but the other part of him had been looking forward to seeing David. Now he was struggling with what he should do. Call David or see if David would call him.

He went and sat down in his chair, pushing the buttons that would raise the legs and let him recline. He pulled his current mask off from his smaller, traveling unit, tucking it all away carefully in its carrying case and then he settled his second mask onto his nose and hit the button to turn on the oxygen, letting it cycle so he could breath normally again.

It was a tiring day.

His head kept running through memories with David. How they met at the party. How they had danced and enjoyed each other’s company. How he felt in his arms and how wonderful it felt being a woman with him. Not a pretend woman. Not a fake one. But a real actual living breathing woman.

It had felt so wonderful. But he couldn’t do that. He really couldn’t. His parents wouldn’t have approved. The thought of it all made him ill.

For the rest of the evening, he distracted himself with a show and then tried to do a little needle work, but his mind and spirit wasn’t with him. By nine that night, he finally gave up. David hadn’t called. Probably wouldn’t call. It was time to face facts and let it be.

As he laid there in bed, he couldn’t help but to think about David again. It seemed wherever his mind turned, there was another reminder. With a smile on his face remembering how it felt with his hands upon him, he at last he fell asleep…

… only to be woken up by a crash from his front room. He tried to detangle himself and lower the side rail, but three large figures ran into his room, grabbed his arms and threw something over his face. Then there was darkness.

Sometimes you can’t get away
And…
Sometimes your past follows you

‘thum-thum-thum’

I became aware that my head was hurting. Each moment my head kept going ‘thum’, over and over again. If it didn’t hurt so much, the regularity of the ‘thum’ could have been relaxing. With each ‘thum’ my eyes squeezed and my nose wrinkled. I couldn’t think with all of this going on. Why was it going on?

‘thum-thum-thum-thum’

Okay, don’t think. Try to empty your mind. Don’t think.

….

I’m thinking about not thinking.

….

This is useless. My mouth … I smacked my dry lips and my mouth felt like cotton mixed with phlegm. Then I remembered. My arms… my hands… I couldn’t move them. There were straps holding them down.

I felt my body complain as I began to tense up. I needed to stop… think about something else. Anything else….

David…

No, not David… I can’t deal with David right now….

But he is so … oh god he is so amazingly good looking.

My heart was starting to race. Think of something else. Breathing. Yah, concentrate on breathing. In… Out… In… Out… God, David felt so good back there.

No, something else! Anything else!

I opened my eyes and saw that I was in a small room that was dimly lit. There wasn’t much to it, really. The only thing in the room was the bed I was on. I knew this. I had seen this before. I remembered… that I was ... that I can’t move….

“Let me go,” I whispered. “let me go… let me go… help me… help me let go….”

Heat spread over my chest and moved through the rest of my body… My fingers began to tingle, then my toes… my air… I can’t breathe… i can’t breathe… i can’t…

“What the HELL is wrong with you idiots!?” Lon ran to the first aid box, pulling out of it several boxes and cartons. “You! Come with me.”

He ran out of a room lined with monitors with the man he had commanded following him. Quickly the door was opened, the lights were brought up to full levels, and Lon began checking Moon’s heart.

“Elevate his feet and legs. Half a foot or so. Don’t stand there you idiot!”

His mind ran through the checklists and routines he used to diagnose emergency cases. Check the eyes, airway clear, heart, and pulse. Damn, he didn’t have a blood pressure cuff. That would be helpful to rule things out.

His patient began to stir again, his breathing changed and his eyes fluttered open, only to squeeze shut again because of the bright lights. Lon tried to talk to him, but all he got was repeated requests to be released that progressed until his breath became labored and he passed out again.

This wasn’t working… He needed to get a sedative into Moon’s system to stop this cyclical fainting.

“So what is such an emergency that you’ve brought me here for?” David grumbled while looking at his surroundings.

Lon looked at him to gage his reaction as they walked into the non-descript building surrounded by a whole neighborhood of equally non-descript buildings. The driver who had been sent to pick up his old friend got back into the car and drove away. “Well, I’ve a special case that I need your help with.”

“What sort of special case? One of your people sprain his back or something?”

“No, nothing like that. Look, I’ve a patient that keeps fainting. I don’t know why. I can’t see anything physically wrong in a basic examination and soon after they come too, they start freaking out and then they faint again. I know there’s something there medically, but I don’t have their records nor do I have the ability to do x-rays or MRIs or anything else useful. So I tried a gentle sedative and now they seem to have gone fully unconscious. I can’t wake them normally. I don’t want to give them anything to revive them, because that will start the fainting all over again.”

“That’s not good. Where are they?”

David took a look at Moon’s unconscious form strapped down on the bed, then spun around and yelled, “What the hell is wrong with you?” He had thought it was one of Lon’s accomplices, but they had Dusty here. Given that they didn’t know who Dusty was during or after the party, it could only mean that he was being held as a prisoner.

Lon didn’t bother to look apologetic. “I’ve got a situation and we’re trying to find out how much trouble we’re in.”

“What do you mean, ‘situation’?”

“Well, I can’t go into detail about it. You’re not involved in what I do. You’ve always wanted to stay out of it. So if I tell you then you’ll be involved.”

“Damn it all to hell! You’ve already have involved me by calling me in to look at him. Did you not think about what would happen when I saw someone you were holding? And you know I am…” David’s face crunched up and he stifled any further outbursts he had. It did not pay to get too out of line with Lon. He knew that. He knew there was danger there. He forced himself to turn back around and started examining Moon, taking readings and the like.

Lon turned and started to leave, “Do your business. I want him awake to answer questions.”

Moon slowly came around, feeling extremely tired and sore all over. When he finally was able to blink, he realized that the lights were no longer dim. Carefully he stretched his arms and found them no longer tied, but he felt, then saw the IV drip they had on his arm. This definitely was not a hospital though. He knew a lot about hospitals.

Carefully he turned his head very slowly, fighting the dizziness he felt as he moved. It was a rather small room. There wasn’t anything in there either, other than the bed he was on and the IV stand. No, definitely alone. And there were two obvious places for cameras to hide in distinct darkened half-globe fixtures. So if they were watching him right now, they could tell he was awake.

Since they were holding him here, it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to get out by the door. Though he did entertain the notion for a moment that maybe he could sneak out and take on the stereotypical guards and gain his freedom. Still, reality dictated that there was no way in hell he would be able to escape and beat anyone up physically. Anything really athletic and he’d be unable to breathe. He’d faint. That would be that.

He wasn’t sure how many times he did faint since they brought him here, but it was certainly multiple times judging from the way he felt.

As he laid there, it finally made sense. He reported on the illegal claim pricing scheme that he had uncovered. At the party the mansion was guarded and certainly stank of a lot of money. That sort of combination meant it was probably one of the bad guys who were behind his kidnapping. They would have to have found a way to identify that he was involved. Most likely Barbara finally connected the girl she met at the party with him. Which means she would have been able to tell Dr. Braselton and his people where he lived. He was screwed.

The door clicked.

There wasn’t any use in pretending to be asleep or even to try and stand up and do anything. He wasn’t in any shape to stand up anyway. So he did his best to relax. Keep breathing normally. Wait.

Suddenly he jerked upright and gasped.

David walked into the room and turned towards him with a slight smile on his face. “Hello there. Strange meeting you here, isn’t it?”

It couldn’t be! The man he had fallen in love with, that is, that he liked, that is… Oh damn, David was one of the criminals!

His world crashed down around him and his body slumped back down into bed. Things were bad now; really bad. A long, strained moan of pain from his heart softly left him.

Suddenly David was at his side, “What’s wrong? Where are you hurt?”

Pulling away from David, he felt himself wanting to shrink away to nothingness. How could it be possible?

“Moon, you need to tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me.”

He whispered, “go away. leave me alone.”

Eventually David did just that. But afterwards, he still felt no comfort. Even crying wasn’t helping.

Moon’s puffy eyes snapped open when the click of the door sounded. Dr. Braselton walked in with only one of his goons in attendance. ‘Not like it mattered’, Moon thought, ‘I can’t even fight against him.’

“Mr. Trail. I’m glad to see that you’re awake. I need to ask you some questions. The attendants tell me that you’re not eating your meals. I want to encourage you to eat next time something is brought in. I know you’re hungry and refusing to eat won’t buy you anything. I’m not here to be disagreeable with you. I can promise you that if you work with me, I can work with you.”

He waited, but all Moon could do was to stare at him

“Alright then. Let’s start by asking you a few questions. Why were you at my party uninvited? What brought you there?”

“What the hell do you expect? He can’t eat food like you and me. He’s missing most of his stomach and intestines!”

“So what does that mean exactly?” Lon asked, growing impatiently.

“Geez Lon,” David shook his head at his ignorance. “It means that there’s little to no absorption of some vitamins and minerals from food via digestion. You have to provide a lot of what the body isn’t able to get from food in pill form. There’s injections too to make up for what you can’t cover through pills.”

“Ah, so Moon can’t eat which is why he isn’t eating.”

“Exactly. And since he’s not even getting his pills, he’s going to have withdrawals from that as well.”

Lon rubbed his eyes in irritation. “Okay, you’re the expert here. What do we do to keep him healthy?”

“I need his medication list for one. That will list all the supplements he’s taking as well.”

“And where do we find it?”

“He has it on a key drive that he always carries with him.”

“My men took him in the middle of the night and he doesn’t have that. It is at his house which we can’t go back into.”

“There’s a website he set up for access to the latest information.”

“We might be able to do that, but it would leave a trail even if we faked where we were coming from. It has an element of risk I don’t care for.”

“Hospital has a copy of it.”

“Which we can’t access for similar reasons. You failed to report to work and can’t be contacted. So protocol will kill your access until you are reinstated.”

“Yah, I want to thank you for that bit in my life.”

“You don’t know how thankful you should be. Now if you want to keep Mr. Trail alive you’ll continue to cooperate.”

“I had a personal copy of his medical records for review on my tablet.”

“Nice to know you’re so careful with your patient’s health information. We might be able to get your tablet, but again, you’re currently missing now. If they’ve started to investigate your disappearance, it would be very risky for us to enter your place to get your computer pad.”

“We could ask him for it.”

“He’s not in any shape to answer any questions.”

“Why?” David asked, concern registering in his eyes. He leaned forward, “What have you done to him?”

Lon sighed. “I tried to question him. It was rather pointless. I don’t think he really remembers everything he did this weekend. It seems… garbled.”

“What. Did. You. Do?”

“The standard stuff. I asked questions. He didn’t answer. Drugs didn’t work either. HELP!! GUARDS!!!”

The guards rushed into the room and pulled David off of their boss. It took three of them to hold him in place. Lon got up and dusted himself off, glaring at David who was being held prone to the floor. “I remind you that my patience is limited. You want Moon to live? Fine. You get the information from him. I’ll get your precious tablet to keep him alive. If you both cooperate, you’ll live.”

David spat, “What, to rot in your prison cell until we die?”

Lon actually sighed. “No, I’ve always valued our friendship. I also have valued the fact that during all this time, you’ve not done anything to jeopardize anything I’ve been doing. So I’m planning to give a good conduct pass to both you and Mr. Trail in there. I will set you both up in a private paradise out of the country, provide you both with new identities and faces, and I’ll even make sure that Moon is given the medical treatment he needs to be your wife, slut, or just your willing slave, if that’s what you want to do to him or her. Whatever makes you happy in that. However you won’t be free to leave that paradise, but that’s a small exchange for your life.”

“Dusty? Dusty, can you hear me?”

I tried to say something, but all that came out was a bit of mumbled response.

“Look, I need you to focus. I need your help here.”

I could focus. I had laser sharp focus. Hell, I could cut through concrete with my focus. I felt myself smile, then I stopped smiling because it hurt.

“Look, all you have to do is help me here. If you tell them what they want to know, then they’ll let us live.”

Live? Oh, the bad guys…. Can’t trust the bad guys.

“We can have our own place somewhere. You can get the surgery you need to be a woman if you want and we’ll be safe.”

I felt like glass was grinding in my jaw, but I had to tell him. “kahhnt de ah giirll.”

“What? You can’t be a girl? Is it that you can’t or don’t want to be? Because we can find a medical way that works with your conditions.”

I shook my head. “naaaooo,” I said clearly. “kahhnt.”

I felt him rubbing my arm and I could hear him talking, but I was too tired to focus. Don’t tell anyone I couldn’t focus…

I woke again. I knew I was definitely awake now and not dreaming because I hurt too much for it to be a dream.

I didn’t want to sleep anymore because of the nightmare. My old nightmare… I had told them who I really was and I could still hear my sister Meadow yelling about how I wanted to be a girl, my mother screaming, my father yelling and losing control of the car. His voice saying my name as he died.

I don’t like to sleep sometimes.

I was able to open my right eye a little and look around. My left didn’t want to open. I didn’t even bother touching my face to feel it, I knew it had to be swollen shut. I shouldn’t have said what I did to that bastard Braselton. If I could take it back now, I would.

“Dusty?”

I turned my head slightly and saw David. He looked awful. His face was bruised and he had blood stains on his shirt. One of his arms was strapped to his side by a torn sheet.

“bavib…” Oh God what did they do to him?

“Don’t worry, you should see the other three guys,” he laughed and then grimaced.

“bavib, wah ah we?”

“Same place as before. We’re not going anywhere soon.”

“erre esxackee.”

“Um, it’s in a warehouse district, near Forest and Van Deman. Number 3110B if I remember correctly. Why is it so important?”

“ah wahnded do no.”

“You wanted to know?”

I shook my head, ‘yes’.

“Look, that’s not important. What is important is that you’ve got to tell me what you know about why you’re here. If you can do that, then they’ll let us go free. We can be together then and they’ll let us live together. Will you do that for me?”

“dirred.”

“Yes, I know you’re tired. Damn, what am I thinking. You’re needing your meds. Look, are your fingers okay? Good. I need you to type out your medications and all the supplements you need. It’s the best we can do right now. Can you do that for me?”

He helped me sit up and put the laptop on my lap.

“It isn’t much. But we’ll have to trust your memory to help you out.”

I stared at the laptop.

“Once you’ve typed out your medications, you’ll need to write what you have told others. Everything you can think of. Tell them everything.”

“ah boned gib in.”

“It’s not giving in. Look, they’ve won. We’ve lost.”

I shook my head again. Couldn’t he understand? We couldn’t give up. We had to fight. My whole life was about fighting. Fighting to stay alive. Fighting against everything that ever held me down. I couldn’t give up now.

“Dusty, please.” David lowered himself to one knee before me. “I love you. I want to be with you from now until forever, but we can’t do that if we don’t live. I can’t let you die. They might kill us, but they might also torture us and I’m sure there are far worse things they could do.” He saw my skepticism. “Look, they will kill you if you don’t cooperate, but they’ll also go after your family and friends too. You don’t even have to be alive when they do it. I can’t let you or anyone else die. I can’t. Please, for me, tell them what you know.”

I looked at him and his eyes pleaded with my one good eye.

He slumped, “I should have never stayed friends with that bastard. I didn’t believe him when he told me he was connected like he is. I wasn’t smart enough or brave enough to say anything to anyone when I found out he really was. I was far too scared of what he might do. I always figured if I stayed quiet and let him be, as long as I didn’t know what he was doing, I could absolve myself of any wrong doing. But that isn’t true. I accepted it as the price of keeping people safe. I was a fool.”

I didn’t care about all of that. I was still hanging on what he said originally. “uu ovf me?”

“Yes. Yes, Dusty, I love you. Please do what they ask.”

I looked at the computer. I may be a part-time pretend magical girl, but I was also a full time badass with my weapon of choice. And they had given me that weapon. It was a long shot. It probably wouldn’t work, but if I knew people, they couldn’t help but do what I expected them to do. Someone was going to take this laptop and go on the internet. All I needed was to create a quick little program using a script, set it to trigger with an internet browser, and off goes an email with our address and circumstances. I began to type.

“I should have never promised you anything,” Lon said to David, his voice reminding me of a predator who wanted to eat the meat in front of him.

David took the box of medical supplies from him and brought it to my side. He started to prepare a syringe before he stated, “I expect you to live up to your promises.”

“Oh, I will. You and your fuck buddy here will be fine. You’ll live in paradise. The only big change in plans is that I’ll be joining you from time to time.”

“Joining us?” David asked, as he stuck the needle into the plug on the IV drip.

“Yes, seems that this bitch here didn’t just play Nancy Drew. She sold out me and Barbara and everyone else she could find. Now we’ve got to move shop, and fairly quickly. I’ve got to deal with the loose ends. Then my family will take care of me, but I would have liked to remain here in country. Ah well, that’s the way it goes at times.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” David grumbled. A moment later he was slammed against the wall by one of the guards.

Lon stood at the door and sneered. “I said you’d live. That you’ll be together. And that I’d do anything you wanted to your butt buddy here to make him more attractive. But I never said I wouldn’t do anything to you or him afterwards. I might make you both my toys, or even toys for my men.” With that he left the room and the guards left with him.

“babid?” I pulled myself from the bed and did my best to help him up. “babid? hon-nee? Thlease hon-nee?”

A dull explosion woke both of us. David was on the floor and I was on the bed. We both looked at each other and I struggled to stand up. “eeld nee,” I implored, looking to him to help me get to my feet.

Soon we were both on our feet as he looked at me and listened as intently as I was. We could hear it in the distance, the quick muffled sounds of rapid gun fire. I pulled my IV stand closer to the foot of the bed so I could sit closer to the door where the sound was better. The IV line was almost long enough to reach the end of the bed, but not quite. In a few moments, David moved next to the door to hear what might be going on in the hall. When the door clicked, he tried to jump back out of the way, but the bastard Lon came charging in and pulled him up and around to slam into the wall near the door.

Lon snarled into his face as he held him there, “The deal is off!”

David looked dazed. Lon seemed to move in slow motion as I quickly stood and grabbed my IV stand. He never looked my way, his eyes focused on David’s eyes. I remember seeing a gun being pulled from a holster on his back. I brought my stand up in an arc and swung as best as I could, letting the momentum take the pole in the widest route possible while still holding on. I spun as fast I could, bringing the stand to full extension…

Only to have it smack against the wall near them both.

The stand left my hands and I continued to twist around, carried by the momentum. My IV line popped apart at the connection joint as it tried to wrap around me.

Lon and David both looked towards me, started by the stand slamming into the wall next to them. I felt myself begin to fall, the momentum pulling me downward as I turned.

But I was not unaccustomed to balance.

I had spent years practicing.

Not too many other people could walk in heels as well as I could. Heck, I could name many, many people I had met who couldn’t walk in high heels to save their life. They couldn’t walk properly in them to save their booty. It always made me want to throw up when I saw them waste what god denied me. But me? I didn’t have a problem with balance in or out of high heels. I could save my booty. I was more graceful and more elegant than anyone else I knew when it came to balancing myself on my feet.

A slight step forward, bring the other foot up and in, continue the spin…

My IV cord whipped around as my inertia decreased, translating into angular velocity. I would have rocked as an ice skater! Especially in one of those gorgeous little skirt sets!

The end of the cord slashed across Lon’s eye. The gun fell from his hand and David shoved him in the direction he was turning, using Lon’s own movement to pull him around and to the floor.

I quickly came to a stop and went for the gun, but by the time I got it, David was dropping on Lon’s chest with his knee. David fell over to the floor then, as Lon’s body rolled under the impact. I held the gun in my hands and brought it around to point where Lon laid, but the next thing I knew, I was blindsided. I felt myself fall away as someone in blue combat gear started to yell at all of us.

I was separated from David then as we were both taken in separate ambulances. The police hadn’t let us talk to each other at all and I had no idea what would happen to him next. I could only hope that I’d see him soon.

But the first two days passed without him. Then the third. I figured he was done with me. My sister had come to see me as well as Winner and Ralph. Plus I had a lot of interviews with the agents. No one would tell me what had happened to my sweet David.

Slowly my face healed, my bruises started to fade. But the pain was there still. I missed him. And I never could be the woman he wanted me to be. The one I wanted to be.

I had a major score. In the laundry were some of my favorite clothes of my sister's. All I needed was a little time alone and I would be satisfied, but someone out there doesn't like me. In fact, someone out there hates me.

I, Robert Samuel Houston, had scored the best find ever. I sat on the toilet in the bathroom with the laundry hamper open, a big grin stretched over my face. This was great. My older sister Becky normally didn't wear her nice underwear. Sometimes she wore it when she dressed up really nice, but that was rare and never for anything she went to school for. Since the hamper was quite full it had to be she was low on her normal everyday underwear and thus had to use what she had.

My luck was doubly-so as she was right now out there running the vacuum in the living room. She still had to finish the hallway and the bedrooms so she was going to be busy for awhile. That meant I had time to play with the little gift she had left me. I wasn't wearing my shoes having taken them off when I was watching the TV, so it was easy for me to slip off my jeans and underwear and exchange my briefs for her silky, lacy panties. As they slid into place I felt a slight shiver stretch out from them, exploding as it rocketed up my spine to my brain. I hopped over to the vanity and looked in the large mirror. The shiny red panties hugged my cheeks and I let my hips swing back and forth as I watched them in the mirror. I was in heaven. Carefully I reached down in front and did my best to tuck myself down, pulling the panties tight to hold me in. I let my hands roam over the smooth material, feeling the rougher lace along the sides where it joined the front panel to the back.

I had to have more.

I took off my pullover and t-shirt and grabbed the matching bra. I quickly fastened the hooks in the back and carefully measuring their current position, I then adjusted the straps to fit me better, pulling what flesh I could to make little breasts for the bra to cradle. I had the band extra tight to keep them in place. For a few moments I was content with dancing around in front of the mirror, letting my hands roam around my body. But that wasn't enough. Oh no, I needed something more. Much more! I wanted everything I could get. She had worn a dress today too, so I dived back into the hamper to look for it.

Unfortunately it wasn't there. Curse my luck. I pulled the top layer off to see what could be underneath and was rewarded with something almost as good. Two days ago she wore one of my favorite blouses of hers. I found the jeans she wore with them too. If only I had the vest and belt to complete the picture, plus those high heal boots, big earrings, and that purse. Oh well, I just had to work with what I had.

The jeans were tight, but I could get them on. For safety reasons I thought it prudent to wear a little panty liner just in case I dripped. I was hoping for so much more by the time I was done. I slid my arms up through the blouse and out the short puffy sleeves. I buttoned up the cuffs, standing them up and out, and fluffed up the sleeves a little, not that they needed much. After adjusting the oversized collar and closing the zip and button on the jeans, I turned the corner back to the mirror. As I thought, the white blouse was thin enough that the red of the bra stood out strongly. Normally she wore one of her beige bras with this blouse, but I liked the red bra and I enjoyed seeing it like that. Still I had seen a camisole in the pile and quickly worked my way out of and then back into my treasures. It was sexier to see that red peeking above that camisole anyway.

Grinning, I felt my hands stroke through the blouse, camisole, and bra to feel my little nipples get stiff. I had to laugh at the thought that it was 'my bra' right now. Using some washrags I stuffed my cups to make the blouse fit better. The mirror showed the darts underneath my breasts, the tight bodice, the lace underneath, and the puffy sleeves. My butt was showcased, lifted and separated, in those tight jeans and my front was pretty smooth and sexy. For added measure I borrowed from her little hook her necklace with the little hearts to dangle above my breasts. I had to get a picture of myself wearing this, I looked so good. If Becky wasn't home I'd run out to my room and get the digital camera, but I could hear her finishing the living room and that meant she was about to start on the hallway next. No way could I leave the bathroom like this right now. I might have dared to do it if she wasn't nearby, but the risk was too great. Still I had to have that picture.

I took off her jeans and put mine back on, tucking the camisole and blouse down as I buttoned everything up. Setting my pullover aside, I put my underwear and shirt in with the rest of the laundry and tidied up a little. In front of the mirror I slid the pullover back over my head, making sure that nothing of the large open collar showed. I took another look and even though I could see that I had boobies thanks to the washrags, I doubt Becky would notice in the short time I was out there.

I hopped out of the bathroom and ducked down the hall to my room. Now where did I leave that camera? I dug through the piles on my desk hoping to find it. Maybe Becky borrowed it? If so then that was it. No way would I go into her room with her about to start on the hallway. She was out there right now in the living room getting ready to do the hall.

Her voice came from right behind me, "Rob? Earth to Rob! Wake up and let's go!"

She laughed at my squeal as I spun around and came back down to earth, my shoulders slumped over and my hand upon my chest clutching the little hearts of the necklace through the pullover. "Sorry," she giggled. "I didn't mean to scare you like that space-cadet. I thought you heard me earlier. Boy you act like such a girl at times."

I moved away from her, turning so she couldn't see my breasts as they heaved below my pullover. "Damn it, don't do that!" I busied myself with going through the pile on my dresser, hoping she'd leave so I could get back to the bathroom.

"Come on, we don't have time for this. Look, it's almost 4:30. We've got to get to school for the band meeting. Grab your shoes and we'll get moving."

"Meeting?" my voice cracked.

"Yes. Now let's move it. I can't afford to be late and you can't afford to miss it. I got to grab my coat from my room and you should be in this hallway by then or I'm going to start talking about your secret passion to your friends." Tormenting me she drew it out with a wink and a sing-song, "You know the one...."

My throat closed as my heart tried to vacate my body and join the ones in the chain around my neck. I felt sick, not daring to turn around as I stuttered, "Y-y-y-ou kn-know?"

"Of course, it's obvious. I can see the outlines of it all clearly."

Oh shit, I was doomed. She could see it through my pullover. I thought it was thick enough and fuzzy enough to hide everything. Or maybe I had panty lines.

"You are in love with that girl in the trombone section, the one that's also in the flag corps. You may think you hide it well, but I can tell because I know you backwards and forwards. You can't keep any secrets from me. Now move it! I don't want to be late." With that she smacked my butt with her open hand, making me jump again.

She didn't see me having my heart attack now that she had left, but it was all I could do to keep from throwing up all over the place and then collapsing where I was. I'm not exactly sure which one would happen first. I might have done everything at the same time for all I knew. All I could focus on was my heart beating out of my chest. My panty-covered butt burned where she had playfully struck it. I could hear her getting her coat. I didn't have a choice. If I delayed she would eventually figure out what I had on underneath. There wasn't a lock on my door so I couldn't lock her out for the moments I needed to change, but I had enough time to lessen the obvious. I reached in and pulled out the washrags, tossing them under my bedcovers.

"Do I have time to change? I'd like to wear a different shirt." As she appeared in my door I added, "It won't take long."

"No we don't have time. Look, you are making us late already. Bad enough I had to finish the living room before going. If you had helped me all the housework would be done by now. I don't know what it is about boys thinking they don't need to clean things up." Her exasperation was beginning to show. "You can put your shoes on in the car." If I didn't follow along now she would get physical. She always did with me, knowing I'd never do anything back to her. She always used it to her benefit.

Still, as long as I wore the pullover I was okay. I didn't have to take it off. I might be able to pull this off and come back home without anyone knowing anything.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked grasping for my last chance at salvation.

"No, you just went. My God you took forever too. I hope you remembered to spray afterwards, you know how stinky you get. Come on!"

She reached out and grabbed my arm and I had no choice but to follow along now. I fumbled for my shoes as I passed by the chair she had placed them on while cleaning.

She grumbled at the slight delay. "Don't slow me down or God help me I'll make you go barefooted!"

On the driveway she unlocked the doors to the car, releasing me as she headed to the driver's side. An idea came to me, "Hey, don't we need our notebooks?"

"No, get in. You can borrow a pen and paper from me at school if you need to take notes."

Well shit! I slumped into the seat and buckled myself in. As she blasted off down the road I could feel the tightness of her bra as it constricted me with each breath I took. I tried to think of a way to reduce my risk. Maybe once we got to school I could duck into the bathroom and if it wasn't busy at least remove the bra, camisole, and blouse. That would eliminate the straps and any blouse like outlines from being seen through my pullover. If I was lucky I could find a way to put them in a plastic shopping bag, hide them in my locker, and bring them home tomorrow in my backpack.

Even though I wasn't religious, I sat in that seat and prayed for deliverance. I would have kneeled there if possible. 'God, just get me out of this and I promise I'll never do it again. I promise I won't swear or take your name in vain or any of the other things you do not like.' Absentmindedly I scratched an itch on my chest, feeling the little heart necklace just above the seatbelt strap. Looking down I suddenly realized that the seatbelt went right through the center of my chest. On either side of the strap I could see small, pert little breasts that the bra had created from my loose flesh. Oh Fucking God! What did I do to deserve this? My shoulders quickly slumped to hide my perky little mounds.

Becky looked over at me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong at all. I'm fine."

"You just seem a little out of it; like you aren't yourself or something."

"No, no, no. I'm fine really. I'm just thinking about some homework I just remembered I have to get done tonight."

"Right. The day you talk about doing homework is the day you are trying to hide something. Hey, if it is about that girl I can find out if she likes you. I can be discreet about it too."

"I'm not trying to hide anything. Honest!"

"So what about that girl? Wendy right?"

She wasn't convinced and I had to throw her off the trail. "Sure, that would be great." I did like Wendy. She was hot and if she was interested in me that would be cool. For added measure I threw in my best appreciative look. "Thanks Sis."

I sat back in the tuba section as the meeting went on in front of me. I hadn't been able to find anything to carry the stuff in. Not that I had a moment alone to take anything off anyways. I didn't even have my locker key as it was in my backpack Normally I'd cut up with the guys, but today I kept to myself so much that they wondered what was wrong. I was being too quiet. However I knew that if I tried not to be quiet then I'd start blathering. I could blather quiet well and had done so before the meeting started. I kept going on and on about basically nothing at all so much that one of guys slapped me on the back and punched me in the arm. I gave many a silent "thank-you's" that he struck the area where my bra wasn't. But it meant I needed to shut up and not go on and on about things. It meant I was nervous if I started talking like that and if they saw me being nervous they would wonder what I was nervous about and then they might slap my back again or do something where they could feel my bra, camisole, blouse, necklace, or my panties or worse yet I would just open my big fucking mouth and shout out to everyone what I was wearing underneath my clothes... Oh God, I'm even blathering in a monologue all to myself.

I feel sick. If I said that they might try to send me to the school nurse. Even though school was over for the day, my luck she would be there and would try to get me to take off my pullover. That would be awful. She might...

Shut-up, shut-up, shut-up, shut-up...

"Hey Rob, meeting's over man," Mike said as he kicked my foot.

Brilliantly I replied, "Huh?"

"You are such the space case today, Houston. You sure you're okay?"

"Yah. Yah, I’m fine. Thanks. Just got something on my breast." Shit! Shit-shit-shit...

Mike looked at me and then busted out laughing. "Man, I smell ya. I've been thinking of those big breasts too. She's hot."

"What? Who's hot? I'm not hot. I'm fine." I could feel the sweat on my brow.

"No you idiot! Damn you really are strange today. I'm talking about..." But Mike didn't finish the thought. Instead he changed subjects. I felt like Monty Python suddenly narrated, 'And now for something completely different.' "...getting in some basketball when you feel more up to it. Maybe tonight after supper if you want. Hey Wendy."

It took me a moment to figure out what he was talking about. "Wendy?" Yah, she did have large breasts, but not as big as basketballs. More like softballs.

"Hey Mike. Hi Rob." I turned my head and found myself staring straight into those softballs, my eyes as large as baseballs. Wendy didn't seem to mind my inability to meet her eye to eye. "Can I talk to you for a moment? I need to go over what the brass section should do for the fundraiser."

Oh, Wendy. Okay I didn't figure out what he was talking about then. Now I'm with it. I'm cool. Wendy. The girl Becky thinks I've got the hots for that she was going to try to set me up with. That Wendy. Gotcha.

Give me a break, I'm a bit preoccupied here!

Mike made a hasty retreat, not without giving me a discrete thumbs-up as he headed out of the room. Wendy waved back to him.

Yah, real discrete.

Asshole.

I was smooth. "Fundraiser?" I blankly asked. I felt my panties slide on my butt as I stood up, sending a small thrill that shot up my spine and was pulled into the pit of my stomach.

"Yep. You want to go for a short walk and talk about it?" She reached out and placed her hand on my shoulder. "You okay? You look a little pale."

I couldn't take my eyes off of Wendy's blouse. I could see the lace of her bra and camisole poking through. Suddenly I realized that underneath my pullover, my bra and camisole were doing the exact same thing with my blouse. Best yet, she was touching my bra strap right now.

"Uhhh...." and then it happened. I finally hurled. I got her right on her legs and the splash-back got my jeans a little before falling all over our shoes. I praised God that I didn't get anything on my pullover. Any chance I had to be with her was gone. Not that she would ever want to talk to me again. I think she was so traumatized that she didn't remember feeling my bra strap if she even realized it was a bra strap.

Becky got me home soon afterwards, nagging me all the way. I played like I really was sick while hoping that she'd leave everything alone. She finally realized I wasn't fighting back at all and upon reflection she began to feel bad about how she treated me. When we got home she wanted to make it up to me, but I stopped her before she got close enough to give me a hug. I left my shoes in the garage along with my socks and I made my way back to my room and sat on my bed. It was over. I had gotten back home and my secret was still safe. All I had to do now was go take a shower and everything would fall into place. While in there I could place all the borrowed clothes back in the laundry. I was the luckiest guy on the planet. I had survived!

Becky called from the bathroom, "Rob? When you get out of the shower bring me your clothes. I'm going to start sorting the laundry. Give me your jeans now and I'll wash them with your shoes."

Now how the hell am I going to get out of this?

I flinched at the anger in her voice as she yelled, "What the fuck!"

I was doomed.

"Damn it Rob! You forgot to flush!!! It stinks in here! I bet you didn't even spray you lazy asshole!"

Damn it all.

Eventually she let me loose long enough to get a good look at my face. “You certainly make a pretty girl, even under all those tears. Come on. Let’s get both of you cleaned up.” To Wendy she asked, “How bad have things gotten?”

“Remember that whatever may be said by a lady or her friends, it is not part of conduct of a gallant or generous man to take up arms against a woman.” - Sam Houston

I am Robert Samuel Houston, age fifteen, and my life is a living hell. Yah, that pretty much says it all.

I feel like I’m floating in space, somewhere between the earth and the moon, lost and without control of anything. I don’t even know where I’m going or how to get there. Even if I did, I don’t have a clue how to work the controls of my ship.

I had finished the last of Becky's chores. She's my older sister sent by God to torture me. She's always been good at her job, but now she's in overdrive. I can understand though. I mean, I might have been angry too had I been her and she me. I'd rather like to think I'd be more understanding and kind though.

I finished putting everything away into the cleaning closet and went to take a shower. She'd be home soon and I was happy that I had everything done so it wouldn't give her another reason to be angry. I stripped and dropped my clothes into the hamper, hearing them fall to the bottom. She did laundry last night. Yah, the laundry. I was the one who finished the folding and hanging though. As my water heated up I looked at my feet. I had four red toes. That's where she left off last night.

I don't know what happened. One minute I'm sitting on my bed and the next minute I find her face in mine, an odd mixture of relief, concern, and ferociousness. While she was in the bathroom yelling about my not flushing, I must have fainted. I don't remember it. I just remember coming to. She had heard me fall and had done the right things: elevated my feet, made sure I could breath, checked my heart beat etc all thanks to her girl scout's first-aid training. It was during all of that she had discovered I was wearing her things under my clothes.

Her things, not my things.

Once she was sure I was okay she really started in on me. I didn't have a chance to defend myself, not that I could really muster any sort of defense. I was guilty enough that the rest of her accusations only met with my feeble defense. That same defense faded away once she had taken a few pictures with her cell phone. After that I was going to do just about anything she said to keep her quiet. If that meant doing the chores around the house, then I'd do them. One day she'd calm down enough, that's the way she was, and then maybe we could work something out. Maybe she'd relent some. I don't know. I'm living in a sea of hope right now.

The first thing she had me do was to take off my clothes. She then had me take off her clothes, except for the panties. She didn't want to see that much of me. That would have been embarrassing. Funny how relative things are now. With the pictures of me stored away, she started enacting her revenge. I think she was acting compulsively at first. I had to take a shower and during all of that I lost my body hair. That wasn't fun. I mean, yes it was something I always wanted to do and I guess that's why I didn't resist it. This was sort of an excuse, right? I was being forced right? It wasn't my choice and I could say that. Might not matter much, but it was the truth. Part of me wanted her to go further. As long as we didn't go so far that my secret got out. I mean, I have my pride after all.

All day long at school I felt my legs rub against my jeans. It was a constant reminder of what had happened at home after our band meeting. Plus everyone was giving me some good natured ribbing about hurling all over Wendy. She didn't talk to me though. I figured she was suffering herself. I'm pretty sure none of the other girls were going to give me the time of day now that I had embarrassed one of their own. Yah, it was going to take time to get over all of this. Maybe I'd be able to date someone by the time I was a senior. That's three years from now. I might as well transfer and start a new life.

My toes though, let's get back to my toes. That's where Becky suddenly changed. I had to lie there as she worked on my feet, giving them a pedicure. It felt nice, but I was too scared to enjoy it. She started on my toes giving them a nice coat of polish. She had finished the fourth when the phone rang so I was forced to sit and wait for her to return. She took her time and once she came back, she packed up her stuff in a bag. I had asked what was wrong, where was she going, and that seemed to really piss her off.

After school today she brought me home, dropping me off with my list of things to do before she returned. She had to go help set up the band's fundraiser stuff outside of some of the local grocery stores. Later tonight she and I would be working together at one of those stores. I found out I was supposed to be working with Wendy, but after yesterday that was changed.

I laid out my band uniform for later tonight as I got dressed in some jeans and a tee shirt. We were supposed to be representing the band after all, so we were expected to be dressed appropriately. When Becky got home I was waiting in the living room working on my algebra homework.

“Hey Robbie!” she greeted me with a large grin on her face. This couldn't be good.

“Hey Sis.” Maybe reminding her we were brother and sister would deflect what ever she was about to do?

“I got you some things.” She pulled out something shiny from a sack.

“Panties?”

“Yup, and a matching bra. Now you have two sets of your own, isn't that great?”

“Oh yeah, that's great.”

Frowning she started at me. “You are supposed to be happy. I've gotten you a present. What do we do when we are grateful?”

“Sorry. I was distracted,” I lied. “Thank you Becky.”

“Not good enough. You need to show more happiness.”

“Thanks! I'm really happy.”

“And they are just what I always wanted,” she prompted.

“Yes. They are just what I always wanted. You’re the best sister ever!” I threw the last one in as a freebie. It didn't help.

“Better then you've been. So, ‘sister', do you know what you get to wear today?”

“Um,” I looked at her and picked up on her clues. I'm not totally dense. “Yes. I get to wear my new pretty panties and bra. This is going to be great!” There's part of me that really was happy about it too. I mean, she's forcing me so I might as well enjoy it, right?

“Okay, now go into your room and change into your new things. And here, take this remover and get some cotton balls to clean off your toes.”

“Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.” - Mary Shafer, NASA

Becky banged on my door and shouted, “You are taking forever. Get your jacket and let's go!”

“Go? I thought we weren't expected at the store until seven.”

“No, we are leaving right now.”

“Well, we need to eat before hand...” I offered.

“So we can pick up something on the way.”

“But our uniforms, we have to change into them. I don't want to wear it all day.”

“Got it covered. We can change after we eat. Go take the trash out and meet me at the car. I'll have your stuff there. Now move your butt, I have things I want to do.”

I hurried along collecting the garbage in record time and making sure that I stayed out of my sister’s way. I had just finished dropping the bag into the can at the street when she came out and closed the garage door behind her. I joined her in the car and at her insistence I used some of her hand cleaner and then lotion. Now my hands smelled flowery. Joy. I slouched in the seat, wishing that she would understand and have mercy on me.

Seeing my expression as I looked down at my chest she said, “Don’t worry Sis. I’m sure your breasts will grow one day. In the meantime we can use some tissues to pad it.”

“Becky! Please don’t. Haven’t you done enough already?” A cold look glared at me as my protest died as they left my lips.

“You don’t want tissues? That’s fine. I can understand that. After all they are a pretty cheap way of padding. We won’t do tissues then unless you want them.”

She pulled into a Burger Biggie and parked facing the road. I sat there not knowing what she had planned and since she had her eyes closed I didn’t want to break her thoughts.

I began to fidget as we waited. I was getting nervous at how quiet she was. I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Becky? Are you okay?”

“Oh I’m fine,” she said while her lips curled into a mock smile. “I’m just thinking about how you are going to wish you had taken my help.”

“Your help?”

“Yup. Here’s what we are going to do. Take off your shoes.”

“My shoes? Why? What are you going to do?” I could see her kicking me out of the car and then driving off.

“Don’t worry. In fact,” she started the car, “Let’s go some place else first. I can do my stuff later.”

She pulled out and drove to a department store across the street. In short order I was dragged inside, following her as she made her way into the Juniors department. I was worried, but she kept me busy as she thumbed through a few ranks before selecting a pair of jeans. Grinning she reminded me that any resistance would attract the stares of those around, so I had best be a good girl and follow along.

It was strange. I looked in the mirror within the dressing room and was quietly pleased. I mean, I was terrified, but I was enjoying it too. It was like a roller coaster, not knowing what she was going to do to me next; always skirting with disaster, risking exposure and not being able to do anything about it. While in the dressing room she had me try on those jeans and switched tops and shoes with me. She left wearing my tee shirt and I stood in front of the mirror looking at the image of a girl. These pants fit me a lot better then hers did and they looked pretty good on me. Her top was all flowery with a black band that circled underneath my bra and also accented the v-neck collar. With it I looked like a girl, albeit one with really small breasts, but a girl at that. I didn’t even have any makeup on. All she had given me was a few of her bangles and her necklace and that seemed to seal the deal. My normal curly and unruly mop of hair did not look too far out of place with a girl’s style. I was so caught up with the girl in the mirror that I nearly jumped out of my panties when Becky showed up with a clerk.

“Sis, those look great. I’ll get them for you, my treat.”

While the attendant reached in and pulled the tag off, my sister continued, “If only you had something a little more up top. You look more like a boy in girl’s clothes, don’t you think?”

I felt myself blush as I hid my face with my hands. “Stop it Becky,” I choked back.

The attendant went back and forth as she looked at us, not knowing what to do. “I used to be small myself at her age,” she offered. “I didn’t like being teased either. Why don’t you wait here, I’ll see what we can do for that.”

“But she doesn’t like padding with tissues,” offered my sister. “She hates those things.”

“Oh I don’t blame her. They don’t feel right. Wait right here.” And then she hurried out of the fitting room.

“Becky, stop it!” I exhaled quietly so that only she could hear my trembling voice. “This is mean, even for you!”

The attendant appeared again handing me a box of tissues. “Not for padding, but for blowing. I’ll be right back.” And she whisked off again.

I went back into the changing booth and sat down, dabbing my tears. A soft knock and then Becky entered and placed a gentle hand on my shoulders. “Robbie, I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

I blew my nose as my sister comforted me. By the time I regained my composure, the attendant was back and we couldn’t slip away. She had me take off my top and chided me for my poor choice in fitting a bra. “You’ve got sagging cups dear. I know you probably got it a size larger to fill it out, but if you aren’t going to fill it out then you should wear something more fitting. You girls may not think it is important, but you should pay attention to how these things fit and keep your ‘girls’ supported. You don’t want to start sagging after all.”

With a few measurements she had me in a better fitting bra, one that actually supported my little ‘girls’ as she called them. She even showed me how they would look with enhancers and with simple cloth covered foam pads. I saw Becky duck out of the fitting room leaving the two of us alone. When Becky returned I had another bra on that the attendant was using to show me a pair of inexpensive pads. Before I knew it we were at the counter and Becky had pulled out a debit card. She was wearing my coat and I hers along with her top and shoes. Before we left the attendant remarked to the both of us, “Now who looks like a boy in girls clothes?” Becky laughed and we hurried out of the store.

As we got into the car I exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe we got away with it.” Looking in the mirror I gasped, “I really do look more like a girl then you!”

Becky frowned and then grinned, “It was nice of her to give us an employee’s discount. And she didn’t even charge us for the jeans and the bras were a two-for-one.”

“I’m sorry Becky. Thank you for not making fun of me and for treating me so nicely. Oh my God, my heart is beating so hard,” I gasped and held my hand to my chest, feeling my breasts along my arm.

“Sure thing, sister. We have got to get going though, there’s one more place I want to go before we’ve got to report for duty.”

I noticed that she emphasized the word ‘sister’, but she was still smiling so I guess she was just making a point as to a new role I was going to take with her. It was nice that she wasn’t harassing me anymore. I didn’t know where she intended any of this to go, but if it meant she wasn’t angry then I was happy. Maybe she actually would be helpful in this. I didn’t know where I wanted to go with all of this, but for a change I didn’t feel alone in the world. Someone was with me and accepted me.

“It was this moment that the victim was tied and bound. He could live in that moment for years.” - Sam Houston

“What are we doing here?” I asked as we pulled into a strip mall. “I figured we were going to get something to eat and then get to the gig.”

Becky laughed, “Oh, we’ve got plenty of time for that. Do you know why I stopped painting your toes last night? Well, it is because I was mad at you and you were lying there enjoying it. I suddenly realized I was doing something nice for you and I didn’t want to do something nice for you then.”

“I’m sorry Becky. I really am…”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve changed my mind since then. So now I am going to do something nice. You are going to get a pedicure.”

“Are you serious? I mean, fun is fun and all, but I don’t know about going in there and having someone see me.”

“Oh quit whining. You’ve just had some woman fit you for a bra and take pity on you for having such small titties. I think you can pull off sitting in front of another woman and have your feet done. I’ll have mine done too. It really is a nice and relaxing thing to do.”

And so it was that I walked in with Becky into a nail salon and experienced my first pedicure. My feet felt great afterwards and my toenails were now a dark shade of pink thanks to Becky. She even insisted we get manicures afterwards after seeing how nice things were turning out. Her nails were painted the same shade of pink as our toes, but mine were kept simple with a little gloss. Becky purchased the color for touchups later at home and in case I wanted to paint my toe nails again. Pedicures weren’t cheap after all.

Before we had gone in, Becky had worked with my hair and with a little magic had shaped it into something more feminine that looked cute on me. I don’t know what I was thinking, but when Becky said we needed to get dressed for the night I found myself in the backroom of the nail shop with a garment bag Becky had brought in from the car.

After I opened it I hissed quietly at Becky, “What the hell is this?” This wasn’t my normal band uniform, but the blousy top and full skirt of a flag corps girl.

“Oh, sorry about that sister dear. You see, I had intended to make you wear that tonight as punishment and so I left your uniform at home. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind?” I felt like pulling my hair out and I wanted to yell at her, but I couldn’t let the nail techs hear this. “Why would I mind? You are expecting me to show up in front of some of the other band members in a flag girl uniform looking like a girl and you don’t think that’s a problem?”

“Cool it. It isn’t as bad as all that. Look, I didn’t want you to be discovered either. If that happened then my fun would have been over. What you’ll do is sit in the car and wait. I’ll show up first and send the others home. Once it is clear, you can come and sit with me. This store isn’t near where anyone else lives that we know and besides that no one is going to recognize you. If they do then I can say I’m punishing you for throwing up on Wendy by making you wear that uniform. Besides, it is Friday night. No one we know goes shopping on Friday night.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not. Now hurry up and get dressed. I can’t show up late.”

“Becky! This is crazy! I’m not going to do it!”

She gave me that look that I hated.

So it was that I spent the next two hours in front of the grocery store. While there Becky went ahead and painted my fingernails to match hers because we were so incredibly bored. No one was shopping and those that did generally went right on by ignoring us. It was a rather disappointing showing for our fundraiser. I sat there thinking that with my luck, some news truck would show up and the camera crew would hop out and interview us. That or some newspaper reporter would take pictures. Or my parents would show, or my grandmother, or any number of other people we knew or who might know us or expose my charade for everyone to see.

But nothing happened. It was uneventful and… fun actually. Becky was treating me just like a real girl and I was enjoying it. She was even telling me how to act more like a girl as we spent our time alone at the table. When closing time came we put the table away in the store and stowed all of the stuff in the back of the car. I was safe. All we had to do now was…

“We are going to go and party!” Becky yelled in the car as she squealed the tires a little exiting the parking lot.

No, that’s not what I had in mind at all. The right answer is… “Home Becky. I don’t want to go out. I want to go home.”

“Oh come on. You like being a girl, right?”

“Well, yes. I guess.”

“Then we are going to party.”

“Becky, you can’t be serious. Do I look like I’m ready to party?”

She winked at me as she pulled in to another lot. “You’re right. And I’ve got just the excuse to go shopping now. I was going to wear that top you had on earlier with a skirt and some boots I have in the back, but we both can’t wear it now can we?”

Again I was dragged in and when we got back to the car I was given Becky’s black boots to go with my black skirt and white blouse. I also found out that Becky hadn’t been as nice as I thought she had been. All these purchases she was making were being made on my debit card. All the money I had earned mowing yards and other odd jobs was funding everything. I’m just glad I had gotten such a discount at the first place we had gone to.

It was also apparent that Becky’s mood had slipped back to something like she had before. She was angry with me again. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with her. First she’s mad, then she’s nice and now she’s mad again. As we headed into the city along the interstate, I risked trying to find out. Why was she doing this to me?

“Well, if my brother wants to be my sister and be a girl, then I’m going to give her what she wants,” she sneered.

“But Becky, I don’t want to do all this. You keep pushing me into everything. I didn’t want this at all.”

“Oh, and what do you want? Tell me exactly what you want. Don’t you like your new outfit? Doesn’t it make you happy that everyone sees you as a girl? Aren’t you thrilled at it all? Tell me the truth.”

“Yes, but … I don’t know.”

“Then sit back and enjoy it. You wanted to be a pretty girl, prettier then me right? Well, that’s what you are going to get.”

“That’s not what I want at all.”

“Well what is it then?”

I sat there not knowing what to say. I mean, yes, I was enjoying this. I mean, it was something I had only dreamed about; being a girl, being accepted as a girl, having the ‘girl’ life. But this isn’t exactly how I wanted it. I wasn’t even sure if this was what I wanted in the first place. I felt like I was being blown everywhere, my feelings kept changing. I was happy, but I was afraid.

She laughed triumphantly. “See? I know what’s best. You just let me show you a good time, you’ll see. You think women have it easy? You think wearing a dress now and then, or doing your makeup when you want to is all there is to be a girl? Well guess again. It’s hard work. It’s uncomfortable. People are always treating you like you haven’t earned anything. If you want to be a girl then I need to show you what a girl goes through. The highs and the lows. So tonight we are going to have some fun.”

For the rest of the trip I kept my mouth shut. Becky seemed happier that way and I was lost in my own little world, not knowing what I was doing or where I was going. Soon she pulled into a crowded parking lot.

I looked around and wondered out loud, “Where are we?”

“The Sound Pound. Now we are going to have some fun.”

I froze at that. The Sound Pound was a club that catered to the teenage crowd. I had heard about it, but I’d never gone to it. It was too far away from home for me to get to. “What? Are you crazy? I can’t go in there.”

“Sure you can. What are you afraid of?”

“Some one who knows me might be there. They might see me. I’m so dead!”

“Oh quit whining. Nothing like that is going to happen. Besides, you are coming in even if I have to drag you.”

I know many of you are thinking, ‘oh, she’s going to have some great fun there!’ Well, you are wrong. It was horrible. Probably the worst time of my life. I was afraid, I was nervous, and I was surrounded by people I didn’t know and now and then by a few I did. About the only good thing that came from this was that I blended in with the crowd. No one knew me and that’s the way I kept it. I had lost Becky soon after we got inside. She took off with a boy and hit the dance floor. I was left all alone, people around me. We couldn’t get a table or anything, so I wandered around trying to keep an eye on my sister so I didn’t lose her. So naturally I lost her.

I did my best to blend in. While circling the dance floor I got pulled in to a group of girls dancing together. Naturally I danced, trying to fit in. I wasn’t very good at it, but I tried to copy some of the other girls around me. I decided it was probably best if I stayed with the pack so I hung out with them and was accepted by them. Once I explained that I was with my sister and had lost her in the crowd, they were happy to keep me company. So I started to experience my life as a girl amongst the girls. I was a bit disappointed. It wasn’t anything I thought it would be. They weren’t the mysterious people I thought they were, but regular people like me. I could see there were friendly people and others not so friendly. I wasn’t surprised in one respect. They liked boys. Outside of talking about normal things like school and such, it was boys.

Boys kept trying to enter our circle too, pulling off a few of us now and then like wolves circling the sheep. I counted myself lucky in that I wasn’t the target of any of them. I kept myself cocooned within the other girls, insulated within their numbers.

The problem with a herd though, is that they move. If you don’t pay attention and move with them then you find yourself left behind. So it was with me.

I had relaxed finally. I was actually having fun dancing and getting into the swing of things. Next thing I know the other girls aren’t around me anymore. It happened rather quickly I guess. Maybe I just lost track of everyone and everything. If I could have I would have corrected it and rejoined them, but as it was I found myself dancing and unable to get back to them. First I was dancing with the group, then maybe I was dancing alone, but now I was dancing with a boy. He had snuck up on me and the song ended soon after I saw him.

I didn’t want to make a scene so I stayed there as the next dance started. I was dancing with a boy. Me. Dancing. A guy. With another guy!

I stayed in character. I danced. Three dances later I wanted to rest and then a slow song happened. Before I could escape he had moved in close to me. I wanted to go, but I didn’t fight it. He had grabbed my hand and wouldn’t let go. I don’t know what happened to me. I felt weak. No, it wasn’t that a guy was holding me and I had swooned or anything stupid like that. I felt … I don’t know, weak I guess. It was like I had lost all my guy strength and I felt like a girl.

Before you get on to me about that, let me say I know that girls aren’t weak. Well, yes in general they are physically weaker then guys, but that’s not what I mean. I felt like a girl. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t fight him. I felt … attractive. And here I was unable to break away. So I danced. At first we danced a part, him holding my hand. He even twirled me and next thing I know I’m in his arms. I didn’t break away either. We stood there, swaying back and forth, him gazing down at me while I found my arms around him. We weren’t that close, but we were close. By degrees I felt myself give in to him. I didn’t know this guy, had no interest in this guy, but the way I was feeling in his arms was nice. I never thought I’d say that, but it is true.

And then he kissed me.

What’s more, I kissed back.

It isn’t that I wanted to kiss him, but I had fallen in love. No, not with him. With… well, with me. Or better yet, I had fallen in love with the way I was feeling and I was feeling like I thought a girl would feel like. Being here, in his arms, made me feel even more like a girl then just wearing clothes and makeup. I don’t know how else to explain it, but it was something I longed for. I ached for. And now that I had obtained it, now that I was bound within this heavenly feeling, I felt like I wanted that moment to last forever.

And it lasted. Oh how it lasted.

Such a good feeling.

I think it …

lasted about …

a minute.

And then I came up for air because some one was flashing me.

More to the point, someone had a camera out and had been taking photos of me.

I pulled back and covered my face, trying to blink the spots out of my eyes from that last flash that caught me as I looked up.

Becky called out happily, “Roberta! Smile for the camera honey!”

“What are you doing!” I yelled then I broke away and ran past her.

I managed to get through the crowd and I could hear her calling ‘Roberta’ as I left her behind. I didn’t stop running until I was deep into the parking lot and then I crouched down against a half wall that separated the two lots. What was I doing? How could I? I felt sick all over and ended up making a mess as I quietly sobbed, trying not to attract anyone’s attention.

How could she do this to me?

No, that’s not right. How could I do what I had done? I was kissing a guy. I was actually kissing another guy and I enjoyed it all too much. Oh God, what the hell was I?

The rest of that night was a blur really. I was so upset I couldn’t think straight. Becky had found me and gotten me home, making sure that I got into bed without waking our parents.

“Now I want to partially close the hatch, making sure not to lock it on my way out.” — Buzz Aldrin
“A good thought.” — Neil Armstrong

The next morning Becky got me out of the house before my parents were moving around. I was on automatic I guess. What ever she wanted now she could get. I didn’t care to fight anymore. Again I found myself in the flag girl’s uniform and in front of a store, but this time I didn’t care. I didn’t react to much around me and I remember Becky telling some people that I wasn’t feeling well and was waiting for my parents to come pick me up. When no one was in sight, she did her best to get something else out of me. She showed me the pictures she had taken and threatened to send them out if I didn’t cut it out and behaved.

But nothing she was doing was working. I didn’t care. I wanted to die. I really wanted to die. I felt like if I could will death to take me, it would have right then. I was beyond tears, beyond concern, beyond threats of any sort. I just didn’t care anymore. I was done. I couldn’t deal with it anymore.

“Oh my God! Robert?”

I knew that voice. I looked up and saw Wendy standing there and felt my tears start up again.

Becky answered for me, coming up with an excuse after a short pause, “Hey Wendy. Don’t make a scene now, but I’m giving Rob a bit of punishment for what he did to you the other day.”

I heard her come up to me as I covered my face. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

“Hey, she’s not going anywhere.”

I felt more then saw the look that Wendy gave her. It was as if everything froze for a second and in the stillness a mighty blade was brandished. “Back off!” she emphasized quietly, trying not to draw attention. Then I found myself being guided away from the table.

Becky grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. “You don’t know what you are doing, he deserves this.”

“For what? Getting sick?”

“No, because he’s a fucking pervert who likes to dress as a girl and kiss boys. I’ve got it all on camera,” she gloated triumphantly as she held up her phone.

Wendy froze and even though I couldn’t see her, I just knew she was looking at me, hating me just like my sister was.

“Are you trying to kill him?” she asked.

As I started another round of tears, I could hear Becky echo my own thought.

“Huh? I’m only doing to him what’s right.”

“So you are judge and executioner? You don’t care at all for Rob. My brother is gay and people treated him the same way, making his life hell. I’m not going to let you do the same to Rob.”

“You and what army, bitch? He’s going to burn in Hell and so will you.”

I honestly don’t know how I wounded up where I was. It happened all so quick. All I know is that in moments Becky was being held face first against the wall, I was on my side after being struck in the face and falling into a large flower pot before tipping backwards and hitting my head. Somewhere in there everything else happened.

Wendy pulled Becky’s phone out of her hand and pocketed it. “You are going to stay out of my sight. I’m leaving with him now. Understand?”

She must have pulled something hard on my sister. I heard her yelp in pain as the store manager came out to stop the fight. Wendy helped me to my feet and we started walking away.

Becky yelled after us, “Why don't you take him home then to your gay brother. At least then they could live in happiness!”

Wendy left me there and I tried to hold on to her, to pull her back, but it was no use. She got close enough with only the manager between them. I’m sure we made quite a spectacle for everyone to see.

“I can't. He killed himself because of people like you. I guess you don't care if the same happens to yours. He needs someone to believe in him; someone to hold on to. If you won’t be there for him then I will.”

Wendy helped me to her car and moments later we pulled off behind a building where she finally lost it. We took turns comforting each other, doing our best not to use the entire box of tissues.

“Houston, Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed.” — Apollo 11

“Won’t your parent’s mind?” I asked as we pulled into the garage.

“Are you kidding? Look, we are going to take care of you. Don’t worry. Just… please don’t throw up on anyone, okay?”

I held my arms across my stomach. “I need a bathroom.”

“Come on, hold it in until we get there.”

In the bathroom I looked in the mirror after rinsing out my mouth and washing my hands. My eyes were red, puffy, and my makeup was smeared. I must have looked awful as Wendy came in from the doorway and pulled me tight to her, holding on for dear life.

“Wendy? Everything okay?” said an older woman that must have been her Mom. She had rushed over when she heard the commotion. I looked up at her and wanted to shrink away from everyone, but Wendy wouldn’t let me.

“Dear Lord, you girls look a mess. What’s wrong? What happened?” She had crowded into the room and tried her best to comfort us both.

“Mom, this is Robert. He’s like Brian. We need to help him.”

I couldn’t believe she betrayed me like that. I wanted to run out, but I found myself being held tightly by Wendy’s Mom, her embrace holding me where I stood and she rubbed my back and made soft comforting noises. I felt her crying into my hair and she wouldn’t let me go. I had given up trying by then.

Eventually she let me loose long enough to get a good look at my face. “You certainly make a pretty girl, even under all those tears. Come on. Let’s get both of you cleaned up.” To Wendy she asked, “How bad have things gotten?”

“I think they’ve just begun. I’m pretty sure everything’s going to hell right now.”

“Watch your mouth, young lady.”

“Sorry Mom.”

“Now come. Robert, what would you like to wear? If you want, I’m sure we can find something nice.”

About an hour later I was sitting with Wendy. Her dad had run out and picked up a bag of boy’s underwear for me. They were all being extremely nice, but it was hard. They didn’t know exactly what it was that I was wanting. I didn’t know either, but they weren’t pushing me. I felt that if I wanted to wear a dress they would have found the exact one I wanted. But I just wanted out of the whole mess. They couldn’t turn back time for me, which is what I really needed.

As Wendy was helping me remove the nail polish and she told me all about her older brother Brian. He had come out to his family and while they had accepted him, it hadn’t been a warm reception. The extended family turned on them. Their community and church turned on them. Brian ended up killing himself. Wendy confessed that she wished she had been a better sister and she now felt she had a mission to help others because of it. They were a foster family and registered with the state, but no one was being placed in their home until they had spent more time in their new community.

I didn’t understand any of it. I mean, I kind of did, but I didn’t really. It was all so unreal to me.

“What’s going to happen to me?”

“Depends on your family. We’ll get the councilors involved and they’ll make their recommendations.”

“Oh God. Do my parents have to know?”

“Do you think Becky is going to be quiet about it?”

“I see your point.”

“Everyone’s got to learn that what you are going through isn’t wrong.”

“But it is!”

“No, it isn’t. There’s nothing wrong about it. I mean, do you know what you want out of it all?” Seeing me shake my head she continued, “See? You need someone to help you find your way. You’ve got to understand that there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing.”

“But I kissed a guy.”

“Yah, so what?”

I didn’t have a good response to that. Wendy smiled and asked, “Was he a good kisser?”

I felt myself brighten at the memory then blushed down to my toes. She laughed and hugged my leg good-naturally.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

“Actually, I don’t know if he was or not.”

“How can you not know?”

“Well, I don’t really remember how he was kissing me.” I was embarrassed to say the least, but I felt safe with Wendy.

“Then he was good enough.”

Softly, I replied, “I’d rather kiss you.”

This time it was her turn to blush. Then she moved forward and planted her lips on mine in a way that made my hairs stand on end. It was one long and wonderful kiss. Completely different from the way the other kiss felt, but it certainly felt good also.

“That’s the only one I should give you while you’re here though. I’m sure my Mom would freak if she caught us. I’d rather not have her chaperone us.”

True to Wendy’s word, she really didn’t want her Mom finding us kissing, but that didn’t stop her from indulging in a few more while we sat there removing my polish.

A buzzing sound caught us by surprise. My sister’s phone was vibrating on the table. We both tried to ignore it, but it was quiet insistent. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was my own cell phone that I had left at home. Looking at Wendy, I answered it and heard Becky on the other end.

“Rob! Are you okay?” Her voice was tight and she was talking rather fast.

“Whoa, slow down. What’s going on?”

“Oh thank God. Where are you? I’m so sorry, really. Oh God, where are you?”

“Becky, what’s wrong. What’s going on?”

“What’s going on is all Hell’s breaking loose. Dad’s been arrested and I’m so sorry, it is all my fault. Oh God, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait, what? Becky, calm down. You need to calm down. Okay? Take a breath and start over. Pull the car over too. I don’t want you to get into a wreck okay?”

“One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil Armstrong

I had been nearly knocked over by Becky when she came barreling into the house. Her car was in the garage now, the door shut tight so no one could see it from the street. She had been so frantic on the phone and now all she could do was hold me tight and cry. Wendy’s Mom eventually got her to sit on the couch, but she was refusing to leave my side and to let go of me. I still couldn’t get any details out of her. All I knew was that Dad had been arrested.

When Becky removed her jacket we could see she had a huge bruise on her arm. It matched the one she had on the left side of her mouth and I figured it was from the fight she had with Wendy. But Wendy gasped when she saw it and so did Wendy’s Mom. I guess I’m the only one completely clueless as to what had happened.

When Becky got home, our parents were tearing up my room. Apparently Mom had found the nail polish in my room along with the panties and bra I had worn the day before. That’s not all they had found. Becky had put all my stuff from Friday in my room and she thought she had done a good job of stuffing it away, but she hadn’t. A pile developed on my bed and then the phone calls started coming in. Seems some other people had seen me at the store. Not anyone I knew directly, but people that knew my family and who recognized me. When Becky got there our parents began yelling at her and threatening her.

From there it got worse. A florist tried to make a delivery for Roberta. Becky hadn’t set that up. She guesses it was from the guy I had danced with Friday night. He must have gotten our address from the guy that Becky had been with. While Dad went ballistic on the delivery guy, she ran back to her room and pulled her stash of cash from her hidey hole. When Dad came back inside, she crawled out of the bathroom window, picking up my cell phone that I had left there, and made it to the car. As she was leaving the subdivision, the police were roaring in. When they arrived at our house they found my father in the yard holding his pistol and shooting randomly at things.

I found all this out after the fact. At the time she couldn’t really talk about it.

It wasn’t long after we were together when Wendy’s Mom and Dad escorted a woman into the living room. Things were moving so fast that I didn’t know what was happening until after it was done. I was separated from everyone I knew: Wendy and her family, Becky and my own family. I spent my time lost in confusion and I’m afraid I was the most unpleasant person to be with and I’m very sorry for the people in the homes that I stayed in.

I got to see my sister now and then at least. My father didn’t want anything to do with me. My mother, well I never figured out if she didn’t want anything to do with me or if she was only that way because of father. Wendy and I managed to email each other as often as we could. I must admit there were times I didn’t want to talk anymore. I was tired. Tired of being probed and analyzed by everyone. Tired of being watched no matter what I did. I had a new school, but no new real friends. My life wasn’t all that great, but after awhile I started to feel like it was getting better.

I still don’t know what I really want, but the doctor I’m seeing is helping me I guess. I’m getting a better idea of things, but I feel like I’m never going to know for sure. Becky has been going through her own challenges. These days she’s trying to get us back together, working with the system to make sure that we will be a family again, even if it only the two of us. I don’t know if we ever will be.

It’s a new world for me. There are times I want to be a girl like I was that fateful Friday night. Other times I just want to pretend to be a girl, at peace with the person I can pretend to be and happy going back to my normal self. Sometimes at night when I can’t sleep I wear a bra and panties along with a nightgown to calm me down or make me feel better.

Do I know what I want? No, not really. But I feel like I’m going to get there one day. I have a friend who I think will stand by me no matter what. She wants to be in my life in some way, either as my girl friend or as my girlfriend. I like being with her and I think I’d be happy either way, at least for now. Becky accepts me either way also. She’s still trying to come to terms with it herself, but she loves me and is willing to do what it takes.

I’m taking it one day at a time. I’m somewhere between the moon and earth, at times letting gravity pull me to my destination, sometimes using rockets to push myself around. It’s beautiful up here and frightening. But I’ll land at some point. When I do I just hope that it is a gentle landing.

What started out as a simple trick to help a friend to get a raise and a promotion, leads the duckling to become a very reluctant swan.

“It’s simple,” declared Lisa. She sat on the edge of the chair, pointing at him with the same hand that held her can of beer. “Bonnie will fall for it, easy.”

A young man with shoulder length reddish brown hair sank further into the couch, “Yah, simple for you, but I’m the one who is going to feel like a fool doing all this.”

“Look,” Lisa continued, overriding his concerns, “Bonnie is a pretty good boss, but I need her to take me seriously when I make suggestions. I mean, she’s old, around 40 or so, and she doesn’t understand current trends for 84 like me and Kimberly. She looks down on us since we’ve only held our licenses for less than a year, a short time compared to her. Don’t get me wrong, Bonnie is good at running a salon. Only she doesn’t really understand what’s good for hair and young people. She’s stuck in 1980 for her hair style choices. She gets all these older ladies all the time so she isn’t that up on what makes a girl look good for those around my age.”

“Yah, but why me?”

Lisa looked at him again, “Because you are incredibly good at acting. Look, you were one of the best actors in school, right?”

“In my old school, yah, but no one really knows me here. They never had a theater department here.” Terry’s beer sloshed in its can as he waved his arms dismissively.

“Another damn good reason. Look Terry, you came in late last fall and no one really knows ya. You even go by a different name than your given name. We’ve been together most of that time and I’ve taken good care of you so far, right?”

“Yah, you have, but don’t bring up my old name. It’s stupid and I hate it,” Terry groaned. It was true, soon after arriving here his parents got into a very ugly divorce leaving him without either of them. It was Lisa who took him in and gave him a place to stay while he finished high school. When he insisted on being called Terry, she’s the only one who wanted to back him up on it.

“You are damn right I’ve taken care of you. Look babe, I love ya and I want the best for you, right? So we do this thing here and I’ll be able to get more money out of Bonnie because she’ll see me as a star in her salon. We can bring Kimberly in on this too and she can run cover for both of us if Bonnie gets too suspicious. We do your hair up real nice and you act like I’ve read your mind with the whole psychic thing I’ll do and then you’ll split. You get into your car, zoom off and stick that head of yours under a hat until I get home and then I’ll give you a proper haircut so that you will look good for your new job. You can’t leave your hair long for that job you know.”

“Yah, I know.” Leaning back, he closed his eyes and tried to find a way out. He owed a lot to Lisa, that was for sure. With the economy the way it was here in this shit hole of a town, he was lucky to be getting a job in the first place, even if it was a typing job. His skill at typing would only improve from his already fast 90 words per minute that he tested on. And during that time he could save up enough money to get into college nearby and if he got his grades up well enough, maybe he’d get into a scholarship at a bigger university and that would lead to a much better life.

Lisa returned from the kitchen and dropped a fresh beer on the table in front of him, he finished off his current can and hit the second one in a long drawl, finally coming up for air.

He looked at her and sighed, “Okay, I’ll do it.” Next thing he knew he was being tackled and kissed, which isn’t a bad way to spend the time.

Kimberly handed the mug of coffee to Lisa and asked, “How late did you stay up last night getting everything together for today?”

“Too late, I tell ya. It took forever to get all the final stuff together, but we’re ready to go. You know me, I got so excited about doing a makeover and all that it took a long time to get to sleep afterwards.” Lisa looked into the mirror and set her coffee down to pull out some concealer. “My eyes look terrible.”

A blond with a full head of curls came in as she finished touching up her makeup. She was fit, trim, and even though she was near forty, she felt like she looked better than most folks her age. “Late night Lisa?”

“Hey Bonnie. Yes, I had a hard time getting to sleep. And even though I know it isn’t a good thing to ask for, I’m hoping that this remains a typical slow Thursday.”

“Well, if you aren’t up to it,” Bonnie stated as she thought. “How about Kimberly taking over the station.”

“No can do Bonnie. I’ve finished up a customer a few moments ago and I need to clean things up. And I’ve another scheduled in about thirty and then I was planning on heading out as scheduled. I’ve got to be at my apartment when the cable guy comes in.”

“Thanks anyway Kimberly, Bonnie,” she nodded to both of them. “I’ll be okay. I will clean up things and then check out that new style books that came in.”

Bonnie nodded, pleased with the answer. “Should be good too. I thumbed through them. Looks like 1984 will be known for larger and bigger hair and that means money for us.”

Lisa nodded as Kimberly said, “That’s exactly what Lisa said the other day. You know how she gets these premonitions. She’s like really good at reading things.”

Bonnie took a look at them both, “Seriously?”

“Absolutely!” Kimberly gushed, “When she gets that look, you know she’s picked up something and it’s always right.”

“I wouldn’t go that far Kimmie,” Lisa cautioned. “I mean, yah, there are times that I get this feeling, you know? But that doesn’t always make it right. But I know if I get the feeling for a customer or I can see how they look with new style or something, I’m going in the right direction. Sometimes though, I have to tone it down a bit to bring them along. It’s like you get the grand vision, but you have to bring the client to it in smaller steps. Make them happy with each step so that they trust what you are doing and are comfortable with where it is all going. If you go with it all the way at once, they might put the brakes on and then you’ll never get them there.”

“That’s true. But you girls don’t understand that sometimes you have to force them there in the first place. Guide them into the decision first, then spring a big reveal upon them. That’s when they realize that whatever worry they might have had during their time in the chair is suddenly melted away.” Bonnie glanced over at each of them, seeing how Kimberly was coming on board with this way of thinking but Lisa wasn’t buying into it. “Think about how you have reacted to someone who tells you something you aren’t quite in agreement with, then when you realize how right they were and how all those doubts fade away quickly. Anyway, let’s tidy up and hope for a bit of business soon. I’m going to my office and make a few calls if you need anything.”

The girls both agreed and started on their stations, but Lisa kept looking up now and then towards Bonnie’s office. If there was someone that needed to be brought down a few pegs, that Bonnie woman was definitely it. A smile blossomed on her face as Terry showed up at the door.

“Hello. Welcome to Bonnie’s. My name is Lisa, how can I help you today?”

“Oh, um. Hi. Um, I need to get my hair trim.” Terry was playing his role well, looking nervous and a little shy.

“We can certainly take care of you. Come on back and let’s look at what we can do.” As Terry sat down at Lisa’s station, he gave Lisa a nervous smile and a quick wink.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to ask what your name is?”

“Oh, um. Jeff. My name is Jeff.” Terry stated.

“Okay Jeff, let’s see what we have here. My, your hair is certainly long and thick. Very nicely taken care of too. You’ve really looked after it well which is always a joy to see.” Lisa stood back a few feet and glanced in the mirrors hoping Bonnie had come out, but she only saw Kimberly at the nail station watching them. She caught Kim’s eyes and snapped her head towards Bonnie’s office, filling the time with a little small talk about the weather while Kim collected Bonnie. When Bonnie’s office door was finally open enough, she started her shtick.

“Jeff, I know you might think that this is too much, but I think we can give you a style that you would really like. I’m not sure though how well you might want admit it, but I feel you aren’t here for a regular cut. Am I right?”

Terry looked up into her eyes in the mirror, “Wha…. What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t think Jeff really suits you. When I look at you I see someone trapped within that needs help in coming forward, someone whom you want to be. I think I can help you bring that someone out a bit, so that they aren’t so lonely in the world. Is this something you feel too?”

Terry swallowed hard and opened his eyes. He could hear Kimberly explain to Bonnie about how Lisa was having one of her insights. In a small voice he answered, “Um, yes. But I can’t do that.”

“I know it can be scary. You are among friends though. I am certain we can provide you a look that makes you feel better about yourself and still allows you to pretend to be what people expect you to be. With this look, we can give you a private way of being who you want to be when the time is right. What do you say to that?”

Bonnie had come out of her office and was watching from the doorway. He glanced her way and back to Lisa, “I… I’m not sure what you mean.”

Lisa pulled his hair back from his face as if she was putting it into a pony tail. “Look at yourself. You and I know exactly what you’d like to do if you could do it. You’ve step in here like an ugly duckling who could leave like a swan. I believe we can make this happen if you’d like. And if you need some time, we can at least take some of that duckling and give it a little swan attention so that you could be happier with yourself. Would you like that?”

Terry blinked a few times. It was easier to play this role what with Lisa being so convincing on her end of things. He looked into the mirror longingly before answering, “I really would like that. Is it okay? I mean, what would they say?”

Before Lisa could say anything, Bonnie stepped forward, “They would say let’s make a swan. I think it is beautiful to be who you want to be. We all do. We would love to assist you in that, if you’d let us?”

“I guess.”

“Come dear, let’s not hide anymore. You are a stronger girl than most. Aren’t you?” Bonnie came to Terry’s side and held her hand and looked deep into his eyes.

He fought to hold her gaze. If he looked away, she would see he was lying. He needed to sell this. “Yes. I want to be a swan.” He pulled some tears to his eyes and breathed a few short breaths. “I really want to be a swan.”

Bonnie beamed at Kimberly and Lisa, before settling back to Terry. “Then we will make you a swan. I think we can make this a bit more private too. Kim, can you please call and cancel your next appointment? We’ll close the doors for a little privacy. Lisa, you have discovered our diamond. What do you think we should do?”

Lisa felt her heart swell at Bonnie’s recognition. This was her big moment. “I think,” she said as she looked at his hair again pulling it, “I think we can do a beautiful start to making our swan by doing a little crop cut on the sides, longer on the top that can be swept in a very pretty style for those moments where it counts. This will give us the ability to also make it more conservative for the times Jeff needs to tone it down for public appearances. I think I have a picture of it over here if you’d like to see it?”

Terry looked at both of them, knowing that Lisa would want him to follow along with what she had in mind. It was something he could get fixed later tonight if it was too girly. “That sounds really nice. What sort of cut is it? Is it pretty?”

Lisa brought the book over and flipped a few pages to the style she had in mind. “See how the sides and the backs are short and the top is long? It can be styled with some mouse to something more conservative when you need it or you can fluff it out so it looks cute. The wedge cut in the back can be held down or up with the mouse as well. We could do highlights if you want to now or we can do them on your next visit. You would really look cute in that with your features.”

Terry made sure to stare at the picture in the book for a moment as if he was lost in his own world. “Do you think I could be that cute?”

Bonnie cut in, “Absolutely. You want to be a swan, right?” At his nod she continued, “Then I think we should take a look at a few other pictures too so that you feel what the best look is for you.”

Lisa glanced up at Bonnie and wondered what she was thinking. Bonnie suggested, “Let’s pull out the new books and look at them together. A new look would definitely help the new you come out.”

Together the three of them sat on one of the couches and looked through the book. Terry sat between Bonnie and Lisa, and he could feel Lisa be frustrated at times as Bonnie guided them along. He also felt her swell with pride as Bonnie praised her abilities and her ability to see what could be best for her customer. He looked up at Kimberly at one moment and noticed that she was amused by the tug of war going on with him as the rope. She mouthed the words at him, “It will be okay. Go with what they say.”

Both ladies let out soft sounds of appreciation at one of the pictures, so he did too. They were pointing at things in the picture making a few comments before they finally turned the page. He wasn’t really paying attention to it all as he was worried where all this was heading. Each new page flip brought more girlish looks than he was able to wrap his head around. A few looked really nice and quite a few were well outside of what they could do with his hair, thankfully.

Lisa had to get up and excuse herself, “Sorry, I had little bit too much coffee this morning. I’ll be right back.” Bonnie and Terry watched her retreat to the back.

“Jeff, I think I know what would be best for you if you’d trust Lisa and me.”

“I trust you. I really do!”

“Good. I have to ask you a few questions first. What sort of job do you have right now?”

“Oh, I’m a typist. At least,” he corrected himself since Jeff should be unemployed and Terry was the one who was starting a job next week, “I want to work in an office as one.”

“Well, I’m sure we can help find you something if you don’t have anything yet. We can’t let our swan be without a job. I already know this answer I think. Are your legs shaved? I’ve seen some of your ankle and it looks like they are.”

Terry nodded. Lisa had insisted they shave his legs and underarms in case it was needed to convince everyone that Lisa was on the right track. Looks like she was right. Bonnie needed that assurance that what they were considering was the right thing to think.

“That’s wonderful.” Bonnie gave him a smile and a patted his arm. She hadn’t doubted this boy’s interest in being a swan at all, but she didn’t know how far down the swan path he had gone already. If he was still wavering, than it would be prudent to give him something he could go both ways with since he obviously wasn’t committed to this choice. It would not be the first time she had a man or boy in her salon or in her care who was more into dressing up or thinking about dressing up than actually going further than that. With his smooth legs, it was obvious that Jeff wasn’t someone testing the waters. This was someone who was already in deep and wanted to go much, much further. She checked his nails and saw that they were very neat as if he had a manicure at some point in the last week. “Do you do your own nails?” she asked.

“Yes, I do,” he lied. Actually it was Lisa who did his nails, before his typing test and interview. It felt good the way she massaged his hands and he didn’t mind having clean nails. They probably helped him get the job in the first place.

“Then I’ve got the style for you. Do you trust me?”

Terry looked around for Lisa, but she wasn’t back yet. He wasn’t sure if this is what Lisa wanted or not. “I do trust you, but I was worried about what Lisa might think. She should be able to do what you are wanting, but …” he trailed off. He didn’t want to make Lisa sound like he didn’t have confidence in her, but at the same time he needed Bonnie on board with Lisa’s whole plan.

“Lisa is certainly one of my best stylists and I know she’ll agree with what I have in mind. Come on, we’ll all work on your new look. I know you’ll be very happy with the results.”

Reluctantly, Terry got up and was seated at Bonnie’s station and not Lisa’s. Bonnie fingered his hair some and checked it for the things she felt would make her choice the best one. “I felt your eyes light up when you looked at this one style. I think it would be perfect on you and I know Lisa felt the same way. It’s a very wonderful look and it is new too. Do you remember the one?”

“There’ve been so many. Most of the styles though needed more hair than I have.” He was safe making that statement. He should have paid better attention to all of what they were showing him, now if he didn’t know what it was she might doubt how in to this he was. He was expecting Lisa to make the choice. Still, if Lisa thought it was a great style than it must mean that it was something she could correct afterwards back into the more manly style he needed. “But if it is the one you and Lisa both like as well, then let’s do it.” Looking at her, he decided to use her phrase to erase any doubts he might have brought back up. “Make me a swan Bonnie!”

He must have said the right thing as she beamed at him. “Your wish is my command. Let’s bring your dream to life! Wait right here and let me get a few things ready.

Bonnie disappeared into the back and Terry looked around for Kimberly or Lisa, but they weren’t there so they must both in the back as well. Maybe he should duck out the front door right now. He belly was telling him that this wasn’t what he was expecting. It was like he was on an out of control cart and unable to steer. He needed some assurance from Lisa that things were going to be alright.

Bonnie returned a few moments later and saw his worried expression. ‘I shouldn’t have left him alone,’ she thought. ‘He is doubting himself now.’ Out loud she said, “Don’t worry Jeff. Lisa is fine. I sent her off for some lunch for all of us. Come with me and we’ll get you started.”

Reluctantly I was made to lead the way to the back where she had me take off my shirt. “We don’t want to get it messed up while we’re working. Don’t worry, we’ll have you wear a smock to cover up. Let’s see. Kimberly,” she called, “Could you come here and write some things down? Thank you. Okay, let’s start off with some measurements.”

“Measurements?”

“Yes, we need to make sure that what we want to do will work, okay?”

Terry thought that measuring to make sure a hair style was going to work sounded crazy, but he wasn’t an expert on anything in this. Maybe there was some ratio or something they used to decide hair length or something. So he stood there and she measure his arm length, his torso and waist and even his hips and feet. By that time he knew this wasn’t part of the normal part of what should be happening. They were definitely sizing him up for something else, but he couldn’t figure it all out. Maybe a smock? But why measure his feet? In short order she brought out a smock that was a deep pink and he put it on. It was far too baggy to be something they would have had to measure him for. It didn’t make any sense what so ever.

He was led over to the sink and his hair was washed and Bonnie worked on relaxing him by giving him a nice scalp massage. It certainly felt nice. She soon had him back at her station and she brought out the scissors and started to section off his hair from the top and sides, trimming the hair on the sides to eliminate some of the excess. He looked around some more and still wondered where Lisa could be. Bonnie began rolling his hair on the top part of his head and crown in small rods, “You know, something that might make you fill better is if we used your real name.”

His eyes shot open and his body locked up. “Uh, real name? What do you mean?”

“Meaning that you said your name was Jeff, but you must have another name.”

He sighed. The gig was up. “Terry. My name is Terry Crowe.”

“Oh,” Bonnie smiled. “That’s a wonderful girl’s name. Terri. I think that fits you.”

“What? I mean, really?”

“Yes I do. It’s nice, but…”

“Yes?”

“Well, it’s something that could be used as a boy’s name too. Is your heart set on it?”

“I guess? Now that you say that, I’m not sure.” Terry quietly gave thanks. He had a way out. Using his real name wasn’t something that he expected to do, it had slipped out because he thought she knew he was lying about his real name, which he was, but that’s not the point.

“Well, we can think on it further. We can see how things work as we go. In the meantime, I’ll call you Terri.”

Inwardly wincing, he came up with a girlish name, one that his mother had told him they had planned to use for him had he been born a girl in the first place. It was the first one that popped into mind. “The other one I was thinking of is Tammy.” He checked Bonnie’s reaction in the mirror, seeing how she might respond.

“Oh? That’s nice too. A little more old fashion I think. Still a nice name. I think Terri might be your best bet, but let’s talk about that later.”

A while later, she finally had finished rolling up his hair in all these little rods and pieces of paper. Kimberly came over had a quiet conversation with Bonnie before the three of them headed to the back.

Kimberly came out of the back room with a small bag. “Here, put on the shorts in this bag.”

“Why?” He really didn’t want people to see his smoothly shaven legs.

“Because we need you to blend in a bit. Your shoes will work, they are simple K-Swiss like I wear, but your jeans won’t work at all.”

Bonnie spoke up, “With the shorts on under the smock, it will make it look to anyone looking that you are all girl.”

Reluctantly he went into the bathroom and changed, rolling up my jeans and putting them into a paper sack that also had his shirt. Kimberly came in after that and sat him down and changed his socks for a pair in her bag that had these little red pompom balls at the back before putting his shoes back on him.

Then Bonnie led him to the sink and with a towel over his eyes and a cotton wrap thing around his head close to his hairline, she started pouring and squirting this cool liquid in and around the rods. After awhile she brought him out and him sit down under a drier.

“Here, read this while your hair gets ready. I need to make a few phone calls.” She handed him a girl’s fashion magazine and lowered this clear hood device that was hooked to the chair over his head. Hot air began to circulate around his hair, making it impossible for him to hear anything.

Bonnie walked away to the back of the store, giving him a chance to look around. Kimberly was working on the nails of a lady who had come in while his head was in the sink. He thought that they had said they were going to close the shop, but it looked like they hadn’t after all. He wanted to sink into nothingness, but there wasn’t anything for it. He stayed still and pretended to read the magazine.

He looked up and saw Lisa as she brought over a burger to him. She mouthed, “I’m sorry.” That was all she could do what with the woman getting her nails done in the same area.

Lisa continued to loiter about, looking for some way that could pull Terry from Bonnie, but nothing was presenting itself. She couldn’t break it off now, to do so would mean she had to admit that she had set everything up before hand, and that would mean Bonnie would fire her. She couldn’t find another job fast enough if that happened, especially if Bonnie told everyone what happened.

Terry jumped when the bell went off. He had gotten lost in looking in the magazine, trying not to make eye contact with the lady getting her nails done. He blushed thinking he had actually been skimming a few articles and looking at pictures in the ads and such.

Bonnie came around again and check a few rods before leading him back to the sink. She wasn’t sure what to think about what she’d found out from her phone calls, but she had an idea or two. It seemed so implausible though. Yet everything she had ever heard on the talk shows about boys like Jeff seemed that it was possible that he was setting himself up for something latter on. Still, was this a fantasy of his or was it really where he wanted it to go.

Kimberly finished up with her customer as Terry was led back to Bonnie’s chair. She sat him down and began by having him close his eyes and keep them closed until she could show him the finished product.

“If you could leave the shorts with Bonnie when you’re done, I’ll pick them up later. I’ve got to go. Lisa, could you finish cleaning my station? I’m running late.” The girls, including the increasingly girlified Terry, responded to her goodbyes and soon the shop grew quiet with only the snip snip of the scissors as Bonnie worked her way around Terry’s hair.

“Oh, this is coming along very nicely. You’re going to love it. Lisa, could you bring me that tray I set up over there? Thanks dear.”

“Are you sure?” Lisa asked, as she presented it.

“Absolutely. Terri dear, this is going to hurt slightly, but it will be over in a moment. Lisa, could you get the left side here? Thank you.” Terry felt them both messing with his ears when suddenly two pops happened at the same time.

“OW! What did you do to me!” His eyes popped open and his protests died as fast as they came about.

Bonnie worked the back of his ears as he sat there stunned. His hair was now curled, he figured would be the case what with the rods they had put in there, but it had also been trimmed up and shaped in a definite girl’s style. His curly hair fell from his top of his head to expand outwards as rested about mid ear all away around, with some sort of bulge that help shaped the back. The curls definitely added volume. On each of his ears was a stud shinning and sparkling back at him.

“We’ll show you how to take care of your ears later, but first we need to finish up our swan project. What do you think?”

“I… I can’t….” Terry looked at himself as he turned his head slightly to the left and right. “Is that really me?”

Lisa put her hand on his shoulder, “Yes Terry, that’s you. You look very cute. Absolutely beautiful.”

Bonnie beamed at the two of them. “Terri, you are a very beautiful girl. Oh I’m so excited for you!” She seemed to be holding herself in and finally she squealed in delight and did a small victory dance. “This is fantastic! Okay, Lisa, I want you to give her a pedicure and manicure. Use…” Bonnie worked through the colors at the nail station before selecting one out. “Use this color here. I need to run a quick errand. I’ll lock up after myself and you two get cracking. I want to get this all done before three. Lisa, you are a genius! I’m going to have to listen to you more often. In fact, I think you’re going to become one of my top stylists!”

Lisa watched as Bonnie grabbed her purse from her office and dashed out the back door, locking it behind her.

“Oh god. I’m so sorry Terry. I didn’t mean for this to happen at all.”

Terry sat there and look at himself in the mirror. Shaking his head back and forth he started to chuckle, “Oh! My! Hell! How in the world did I let you talk me into this.” He continued to laugh as he shook his head.

“You aren’t mad?”

“Oh, I’m furious! But you have to admit, this is hilarious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, she bought this whole hog, right? Look at me.” He gestured to his feet up to his head. “Everything you did to convince her worked out perfectly. She’s completely in your hands now. Did you hear her? She’s thinking the world of you and she’s already said you are her top girl! Your plan worked.”

Lisa slowly realized what Terry said, “You’re right. She did, didn’t she. Oh My GOD! I made it!” Terry got up and jumped around with her, holding each other by their arms as they danced around in the circle.

“So all we have to do now is slip my clothes back on and I’m out the door and home free. Tonight you bring home your scissors and we’ll be done.”

“But your ears?”

“What, the piercing? They heal don’t they? It’s not like they are permanent.”

“Well, the holes will have to heal. And actually, the curls are. Your hair. It’s what we call a permanent.”

Terry stopped and the smile drained off his face. “How permanent?”

“Well, we could relax the curls in a few weeks to where they are more naturally straight, but until we do the curls are going to be there no matter what. And the way Bonnie did the set means it is going to have all this volume.”

“Okay, so. Slight change in plans. I’ll get a shorter hair cut than I had planned.”

“It’s going to have to be awfully short, and even then it might not be short enough.”

“How short are you saying it will have to be?”

“Well, we’ll have to take it down to the scalp. Otherwise the curl is still there. We might be able to trim it down to where it looks more like a male haircut, but even then you’ll have curls unless we go down to the scalp.”

Terry looked back in the mirror, trying to imagine it. “I have no idea how that will look. Still, I trust you. It’s a setback, yes, but not too terrible. Let’s change out of this smock and I’ll get out of here.”

“Terry, you can’t go.”

“Huh? What? Why?” It sort of all blurted out at once in the same utterance.

“Because she expects you here when she gets back.”

“Okay, so make an excuse. I got cold feet or maybe some producer came by and saw her beautiful swan and swept her away to be a princess in some movie.”

“Terry. Stop it! No, you’ve got to stay.”

“Why?”

“Because, if you aren’t here, she’ll get worried, concerned, suspicious. She’s going to be looking for Jeff Crowe or Terri Crowe or whatever else she can think of, and she won’t give up until she finds you again. If you stay here, we can finish out her little project and then you can disappear afterwards. Miss Crowe can then go off and be a princess in a movie somewhere. But before that happens, Miss Crowe has to be here for all this to finish to Bonnie’s satisfaction.”

Terry looked at her for a bit, staring into her resolute eyes and finally swore a stream of words best forgotten and most unladylike. “Fine!” he stamped his foot. “Damn it. Okay, you owe me more than ever for staying here. You’re going to have to really make up for this.”

“I will, I promise. Come on, sit down. I need to get going on your nails before she gets back.”

Terry watched as Lisa went at it. She didn’t want him to talk to her while she worked, not wanting any distractions, so it was when Bonnie came back in and through the back door, Lisa had Terry spread out and drying as fast as she could get the polish to dry.

“Hey Bonnie,” Terry called out. “Look how pretty she made them!” He figured anything he could do to help the charade along would be a good thing.

“Oh my, they certainly do look nice. Short nails Lisa?”

“She says she’s a typist. So longer nails won’t work too well, especially since she isn’t used to them.”

“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. Good call. Okay, while she’s drying lets work some additional magic.”

“What sort of magic?” Both of them laughed when they realized they had asked the same thing.

Bonnie smiled, glad to see how relaxed and happy Terri seemed to be now that the swan was finally coming into view. “We’re going to keep this makeover going. Time to make that face unforgettable!”

Sitting there, all Terry could do was to do as he was told as each of the ladies worked on some aspect of his face. They laid down some sort of base coat here and there, apply color to his eyes, smoothing out and blending in as they went along, drawing around his eye lids and then the rest in some sort of order that seemed to work its way to the end based upon what needed to be done before the other. His lips seemed smoother than before as they helped him up from the chair. He felt like his face had some added weight, but not terribly bad. “It’s not as thin as I’d like for it to be, but you need a little more than most girls,” Bonnie apologized.

“Now what.” Terry winced a little at Lisa’s excitement over it all. As they went along and she realized he was okay with going along for the ride, she had gotten much more involved and excited about the whole thing. Doing a full makeover was something that beauticians like her really enjoyed. If she could get him to take some pictures of the after photos, she might be able to fake his gender enough in the before photos so that she could use him in her portfolio. It would be a hard sale, but given how far he’d gone so far, it shouldn’t be that difficult to get him to do the next step.

Bonnie gestured towards the back, “Next is something really wonderful. We don’t have time for everything I’d like to do, but we’ll do the best we can. Okay Terri, to the back room with you. You’re going to need a little help to get it perfect, because it needs to be perfect the first time, so we’re going to assist you getting ready.”

“Getting ready?” Lisa asked.

“Yes. Come on. Off with the smock. Let’s not ruin your hair. We need to keep it and your face looking really nice. I know it isn’t the right order in things, but we had to let your nails dry first and we were running out of time. In the future Terri, when you get ready you’ll learn that you do your makeup after you get dressed. Come on, let’s go!”

Terry and Lisa looked at each other as what Bonnie said became clearer to them. Lisa smile and pulled Terry by the hand, eager for this next bit, “Come on. I don’t know what she’s got planned, but it should be a lot of fun.”

Fun is a relative word, depending on the person experiencing it. For Bonnie and Lisa, their joy and fun were similar. Bonnie felt good at helping someone achieve their lifelong dream. Lisa was excited about the whole process, in part because she was really getting into this woman that Terry was becoming and partly because it was like a big dress up game.

Terry though. Fun for them wasn’t fun for him. The first thing he had to do was strip down to nothing. Then they presented the first article of clothing that didn’t fit any sort of definition of fun for him. It was white, it was shiny, it was smooth and felt amazing in his hands. It certainly made him want to break out of the bathroom and run out the back door. He thought about it for a moment too, then decided that it would be far worse to be outside wearing nothing but makeup and polish with girly earrings and hairstyle than to put on this offending set of underwear.

With every inch they slid the panties up his legs, he felt further and further removed from himself as he gave in to the events he had to endure for his friend. She was definitely going to owe him though. It wasn’t the last time he thought that either. With each new piece of fabric, with each new part of his new outfit, that line echoed again and again. He had to put on hose and some sort of tight underwear garment over his new underwear. That seemed to smooth out his front. The bra came next and with some help he got it on and settled on his chest. They pulled his flesh up as much as they could and then added some stuffing underneath to keep it up and in place, giving him two breasts that weren’t huge, but were certainly breasts and breast like in appearance. Around his belly he was fitted with a tighter garment that pulled him inwards, making his posture more straight and his breasts more prominent. Over all this went a full slip that hung down towards his knees. Next Bonnie pulled out of her office the final piece, a navy polka dotted dress. He had to step into it, it wasn’t going to fit over his head. Once the puffy sleeves were settled on his arms and shoulders, Lisa did the honors with the zipper. Terry closed his eyes and felt it slowly pull tighter around him until the zipper finally got to the top. He visibly shuddered as she fastened the final clasp above the zipper.

Bonnie reacted quickly, “Let’s get her over to the chair. I think this might be a little much for her.”

Terry sat there and kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the final result. A pair of strappy sandals with low heals were buckled on his feet at the ankles. Then some large plastic bracelets went over his hand to his wrist, along with some rings offered up by Lisa for his fingers.

He allowed himself to be brought up to the front area again, and after Bonnie and Lisa made some last minute adjustments, he opened his eyes.

Bonnie quickly admonished him, “Don’t start crying honey. You’ll ruin your makeup. And we’ll start crying too.”

He felt faint as he looked at himself. Reflected back to him was a young girl in a pretty summer type dress that fit the slight curves that she had available. Everything about her radiated beautiful swan. Well, most everything about her. Inside she was really a terrified boy who wanted to run quickly out the door. A door that someone was knocking at right that moment. He glanced over to it and saw someone out there, not sure who it was though. Lisa was directed by Bonnie to hold Terri still as Bonnie went to answer it.

“Come in, come in. Jack, I want you to meet the young lady I was telling you about. Terri Crowe, this is Jack Corwin. He owns several businesses here in town and I think he could use a typist who can type as fast as you can.”

Jack came in followed by a much younger woman who was dressed very nicely and sporting a very large and pregnant belly. He stared hard at Terri as he stood there, frozen to the ground, his very life flashing before his eyes as he waited for the earth to open up below him and swallow him whole.

“Miss Crowe. I believe we already have the pleasure, but under different circumstances.”

Bonnie looked confused, “I’m sorry?” She looked at Terri and then back at Jack and the lady beside him.

Terry choked out, “Hello Mr. Corwin. I’m sorry about this, I didn’t mean it to go this far.”

The lady behind Jack smiled, “Oh, so this is the young lady who was coming in on Monday? From your earlier descriptions, I was expecting someone a bit more… different,” she concluded.

Terry’s face went bright red and he held his hands in front of him, casting his eyes to the ground.

“Indeed, this young lady is certain quite different from the young boy who I offered the job to. I think some explanations are in order here.”

Bonnie stepped in, “Can you tell me what is going on here?” She looked at back and forth to Jack and Terry.

“Earlier this week I interviewed and accepted Terry Crowe as a replacement secretary for the maternal leave of my head secretary here. Terry came to me with a bit more hair than she has now and in a suit and tie. So I’m a bit perplexed as to how Terry was planning to work for me. Or to be more specific, seeing her now I’m wondering if she was intending to come as she presented herself for the interview or if this is now how she planned to surprise me on her first day.”

Bonnie stood gapping at me, “Is this true? What is going on here? You applied for work as Terri Crowe?”

“Yes Ma’m. I did. I wasn’t planning on becoming a swan today. I was planning on getting a simple haircut so that I could fit in with Mr. Corwin’s staff.”

“Why didn’t you apply under your real name, Jeff?”

“That’s, um, sorry, but that’s not my real name either. I was sort of embarrassed coming in here, so I used a fake name.”

“So why,” Mr. Corwin asked, “did you apply with the name of Terry?”

“That’s because I like that name better.”

Bonnie came forward and placed her hand on Jack’s arm. “Is it because Terri is more your name than your real one?”

“Absolutely. I hate my other name. It’s not me at all. I feel out of place when people try to call me that.”

Bonnie looked over to Mr. Corwin and his secretary. “I think I understand why she did it. By using the name Terri, she’s able to establish herself once she starts to dress like a woman. That way she can say she worked before as Terri and any references that are called in would say that Terri did work at your company.”

Jack nodded for a moment and took a step backwards. Turning slightly as he paced a little to clear his mind. He took a few turns and then looked back at Terry. “Is all this true?”

“Ah, yes sir. Mostly.”

“Mostly?”

“Well, I was trying to establish myself as Terry, that’s true. As far as living my life dressed as a woman? Well, I hadn’t decided to make that sort of step yet.” Terry looked apologetically to Jack and Bonnie.

“I see. Well, this does change things quite a bit. Let me lay it straight for you. When Bonnie called and said she had a typist who was available and who would be really good, I was very hopeful. You see, I didn’t really want to use that boy I hired. I only hired him because he was the best of those who applied. Anyone who types that fast was impressive to me. I figured I’d use you until Mrs. Rogers here,” he indicated his secretary, “came back from maternity leave. What I really wanted was a nice girl who could stay on after that as I do need to expand my staff. And I was ready to fire you as soon as you did anything that I didn’t like, simply on principle.”

“Oh,” Terri deflated a bit. “I see.”

“I couldn’t fathom why any man would want to work as a secretary, even if it was a temporary job to make ends meet. But it does make it much easier if you are a woman. And if that’s how you’d really like to live your life, we can do that.”

Terry fumbled backwards and found the chair, sitting down in the dress felt very awkward and he used his hands to smooth his way into the seat, but it looked a lot like a woman smoothing her skirt out as she sat down. He wanted to slouch, but the stiff boned item around his waist kept him sitting up and his dress felt like it was pulling his shoulders back. His legs went to cross themselves and because the skirt was narrow, they ended up crossed at the knees.

Lisa looked on in awe at Terry. The way he sat down, the way he kept his shoulders back as if he was proud of how he looked in his dress, how proud he was to be a woman before them, and then crossing his knees so daintily… If she didn’t know him so well, she would have sworn that this was a woman who really liked the way she appeared. A woman who felt comfortable being a woman in every way.

Terry sat there for a moment, feeling himself starting to cry. If he spoke up and told the truth, he would be out of a job and so would Lisa. Yet if he pretended that this was really what he wanted, then they both would be able to keep their jobs. But he didn’t want to go to work as a woman. He was a man and that was that.

Bonnie came over and was patting his shoulders. He could feel the material of his dress spring back to its puffy form with each pat. Then an idea occurred to him. He could pretend now and then disappear off the radar afterwards. It is true, he’d be out of a job, but at least Lisa would keep hers.

A tissue appeared in Bonnie’s hand in front of him, “She’s so choked up. I don’t think she knows how to accept.”

Another thought came to him. There’s no way he could do this dress up thing. He didn’t own any clothes and he certainly couldn’t afford to buy everything he’d need. Looking over at the other women, he saw that there was a lot more than wearing a dress to be a woman. You needed makeup for one, and all the clothes underneath as well as the dresses, skirts, and blouses. You’d need shoes too. And jewelry. Plus purses and rain coats and … there was a ton of things you had to have that he didn’t have.

“I don’t think I can take your offer Mr. Corwin. Don’t get me wrong, it is a lovely offer and I really do appreciate it, but I wasn’t ready to be a woman full time. I don’t have anything to wear. This outfit is probably the only thing I could use that would be presentable for the office.” Terry was confident now. There’s no way he could do it even if he wanted to do it, which he most certainly did not want.

Jack frowned, “You are telling me that as good as you look right now, this is all you have? Are there any girl clothes in your closet right now?”

Terry resisted the urge to look at Lisa. “Yes sir, there are girl clothes in my closet right now. Only they aren’t the kind of clothes that you would allow anyone to wear to your office. I certainly wouldn’t’ wear them to your office. They aren’t dress code appropriate I am sure.”

Lisa picked up on what Terry was saying and it was true. He did have girl’s clothes in his closet. They were her clothes, not his. And he was right, they wouldn’t be appropriate for the office. They were her older clothes from proms, weddings, and a few very inappropriate sexy type clothes that she wasn’t using anymore. That’s why she stored them in his closet. He wasn’t using but a small amount of space in there in the first place.

“I see. What about your parents?”

“Ah, they split up and aren’t living here. When I turned eighteen they sort of both decided I could live on my own.”

“Other family? Cousins and the like?”

“No sir. No one around here and honestly, no one I’d want to be with. I recently graduated high school and was going to use what I earned to build up enough to make sure I had a nice enough place to live, and enough clothes to wear and such. I was hoping I could go to college as well.”

“This won’t do.” Jack paced back and forth a few more times as everyone looked on. “No, this won’t do at all. I must say, I admire someone who has the balls… I mean Guts! Yes, guts to do what you are trying to do. You’re alone with no one to help you and you aren’t even asking for help. You’re willing to meet it all head on and still make it in this world. I admire that. I respect that.”

“Mr. Corwin? I think I have a solution. What size dress are you wearing right now, honey?”

Bonnie supplied, “It’s a 10, but I bet if he worked it or if his body was more feminine, we could make due with a smaller size.”

“I thought so. That was my size before, well you know. I think we also wear the same size shoe, or close to it. I’ve a good size wardrobe I’m not using right now and even after I come back off of maternity leave, I have the feeling I won’t fit into my clothes like I once did,” she blushed a little. “And even though we probably don’t wear the same size shoe, I think I could find a few I could give up that she’d be able to wear until she bought her own. This means that she’d only have to get a few items to begin with, like hose and the like if she doesn’t have them now, and she could build on it later as she receives her paychecks. As for a place to stay, I guess we could ask around. I don’t know how the other girls would feel about living with someone who wasn’t fully a girl in the body department, but we could try that out.”

Stepping forward, Lisa held up her hand and announced, “I could take her in. I’ve a spare room in my apartment. I could also help her out with what to wear and teach her the things she needs to know about being a lady. That way no one outside of us would know anything about her not being fully a girl.”

“You would?” No one was really sure which spoke first, if it was Bonnie or Terry. Because everyone was focused on Lisa, no one noticed Terry’s face fall in defeat.

“Yes. I’d be proud to do so.”

“Well then,” Bonnie announced, “At least for the summer I can chip in to help out as well. Free salon treatments as she learns to do things for herself. And if you could tell everyone who asked who did your hair and nails, that would be a wonderful way to show some appreciation. A good word of mouth does wonders for business.”

“So it is settled then,” Mrs. Rogers looked around for everyone but Terry’s take. “She’s got a place to stay. She’ll have clothes from me until she can start to build up her wardrobe of her own, that will take care of that. She’s got two coaches,” she motioned to Bonnie and Lisa, “to help her in her appearance and in how to be a lady. And she’ll have a good job from Mr. Corwin.”

“There’s so much to get though, I don’t know how long it will take before I really look presentable.” Terry was holding out hope that everyone would recognize what a fool’s errand this was turning into.

Jack chimed in, “That is exactly right. There probably is a lot she doesn’t have now that she needs before she starts. Tell you what, she’ll come to work for me like we planned and I’ll even cut her an advance to get some things now. She can pay me off as the summer goes on. Of course, if you leave my employment you’d have to pay it back immediately.”

Mrs. Rogers remembered something quite suddenly. “Oh no! We’ve got another problem. Everyone knows that Terry is coming to work on Monday, but they only know him as boy Terry, not girl Terry.”

Bonnie smiled with the solution, “We already have that figured out. When Terri told me her name, and it is a pretty name, one of the things we both decided was that it was too unspecific in the boy/girl territory. That people might confuse the name Terri with a boy’s name. It could go either way, even if you’d spell well as tee-eee-are-are-why and the other as tee-eee-are-are-eye. No, she told me her other choice was Tammy, which might be more appropriate.”

Jack smiled. “That works out fine. So we have Tammy report for duty come Monday. And if things work out well, I can work on getting her name official in a very quiet way. Plus I’m sure she’ll need a doctor to help her along with the changes she’s going to need. I can arrange that as well.”

Mrs. Rogers nodded, “And I can get my stuff together for you to pick up tonight. You all can come with me if you’d like.”

“Unless she has an objection, I’ll have someone cover for Lisa today and tomorrow. Plus she’s already earned a raise for her part in all of this. My way of saying thank you for a wonderful job as a great stylist.”

Lisa helped me up from the chair and said, “Sounds like we’ve got a lot to do to get ready.”

“Let me write out that check now. That way you two have time to get what you’ll need tomorrow. And unless anyone here objects, I’ll take everyone out to dinner tomorrow night as a celebration. Do you have something in fancy dinning wear? We will be going to the best place in town for a night of dining and dancing.”

Mrs. Rogers shook her head, “I’ll have to pass, doctor’s orders, but I have the perfect outfit for you to wear, Tammy.”

Terry put on his best smile and tried very hard to make it believable. “That sound lovely. I can’t wait!”

By Popular Demand, the continueing story of The Swan Who...

Terry has spent a few weeks now working and living as Tammy. He's doing his best to fit in, but it isn't easy when you are pretending...

(currently…)

He glanced down at the phone’s call buttons to confirm where the call was coming from. The phone was smart enough to sound one way when the call was internal and another way for when the call was external, but even though he knew this, he liked the visual confirmation anyway. Okay, external. “Widget, Gizmo, and Dingus Corporation, You’ve reached Mr. Corwin’s office. This is Tammy. How may I help you?”

It was amazing in its own right that he no longer shuddered at what he just did. When he first started, every single time he said ‘this is Tammy’ he felt uncomfortable. His mind screamed at him, ‘NO! You are Terry!’ And when that happened, he couldn’t help but to make a very quick assessment of the checklist as to why this was wrong. The checklist was one of the ways he dealt with things. One of the ways he could say, ‘this is not me and I am here against my will.’

It would start off with the more serious offences first. The fact that he had breasts. Thankfully they weren’t real breasts, only padding. Still they tended to get in the way of everything he did and everything he could see looking down. They also tended to attract male attention. He also had found that he tended to bump himself a lot in the breasts when he got too close to something. Or when his purse strap tended to catch on them when he put his purse on his shoulder. Or the way some necklaces he had would get caught on them or how his chest would feel with some blouses showing more skin than he liked above his breasts, especially when something cold hit his skin like a raindrop or a blast from an air conditioner. Yes, the breasts easily made the top of the list. The way the band of the bra dug into his chest or the straps would pull on his shoulders. Well, every single thing about them was a constant reminder.

The next thing that would come to mind tended to change depending on what was bothering him the most. Sometimes his feet hurt from the heels he was wearing. Sometimes it was the hot padding that gave him his hips. Sometimes it was an earring that got in the way of the phone or was tangled up in something else like hair or anything that it could get in contact with. Sometimes it was the feeling of makeup on his skin or lipstick on his lips. Sometimes it was the perfume he wore. Sometimes the cut of his dress or skirt or blouse or a bracelet or a bangle or …. There were a lot of things.

And the worst part about EVERYTHING? Was that his checklist didn’t automatically pop up at times. When he realized he hadn’t felt strange about whatever it was he was doing or feeling. That’s when it hurt the most. That’s when he had to reinforce the need for that checklist. It was one of the few things that kept him sane. Kept him grounded.

“Yes sir, Mr. Corwin is currently not in. May I take a message?”

Of course he wouldn’t be in, Terry thought. It is lunchtime. Why do people think that at lunch time everyone is in their office and waiting to talk to them? Jack wasn’t due back for another forty five minutes, if he was punctual. And he was. It was very annoying that he had to be too. Everything done by the book, to the letter, by the numbers… Could he not relax a little?

“Yes sir, I’ll be sure he sees this. Thank you for calling. G’bye.” Terry set the phone back on its cradle carefully. It wouldn’t do for anyone to see him as anything other than perky. He had an image to uphold. There was no relaxing possible.

Dutifully, he went back to work. Funny how offices change. It used to be there were rooms upon rooms of typists, doing whatever needed doing. They were there to type. And there was a lot of things to type. That’s what he remembered about his mother’s job. But here in modern 1984 computers had come into their own. They were powerful machines that sat right on a desk. It was amazing how they only took up half of the desk too. What would they think of next? And the programs! He had thought that all he would be doing was typing, but as it was, he had to learn this thing called a word processor. You could type up the letter you were sending out to everyone, then in a separate file list all the individual details that would go into the letter and the two things could be merged and sent to a printer room where all of it was sorted, stuffed, and mailed out with a single push of a button. Well, not a ‘single’ push. It took some getting used to doing it. In fact, that’s what kept him the most busy of everything, learning how the word processor worked. He’d take manuals with him to the lunch room and read how to do whatever. Some days he stayed a little later than everyone else so he could try some of the things that were in the book.

If nothing else, he was certainly getting an education.

(previously…)

A smartly dressed woman wearing a light blue blouse with a large floppy bow along with her navy skirt and jacket led him from the common secretary room where rows and rows of women were busy typing on IBM Selectric typewriters or busy with what looked like small computers at their desks. The room seemed split upon who had what on their desk, with about half having one or the other. She ushered him into a windowed room that held two desk sets, one prominent set that was right outside a large door that obviously was the company president’s office, and a smaller set of desks off to the side and back in the corner. Two other ladies who were equally well dressed stood from where they had been sitting on a couch waiting. All three seemed to be in their thirties, as best as Terry could tell.

“Tammy, this is Florence Clugston and Linda Brand,” Alice stated, pointing to one and then the other. “Ladies, this is Tammy Grant and she’s assisting us while Nancy is away.”

The three of them exchanged simple pleasantries, but Terry felt like he was being sized up by each of the women. He wasn’t quite sure why as he didn’t see himself as a threat to anything they could be doing. He was only here for a short while so that he could pay off the loans he had been forced into and then he was out of here.

Florence turned and asked, “Alice, what happened to the boy who was supposed to be here?”

“I’m not sure. Mr. Corwin says that he called to cancel or something and that he was recommended to Tammy here by a friend of his.”

“Well that’s good. I wasn’t too thrilled with the idea of him working here. Tammy, I’m so glad to have you with us. And I’m also very pleased that you don’t need to be told how important the dress code is.”

“I’m sorry, dress code?”

“Well yes, since you are one of the executive secretaries, you have to dress the part. As you can see, the secretaries that are in the common room aren’t required to be as well presenting as we must be. Given their duties, they have a lower expectation.”

I looked down at how I was dressed and was glad that not only had I received several outfits from Nancy who I met the previous Thursday at the beauty parlor, but Lisa had insisted that we pick up a few more outfits over the weekend while I was receiving my crash course in how to do everything. Part of me shuddered as I took it all in yet again. Like Alice, I had a bow at my neck, but mine tied to the side and my dress was blue with alternating diagonal pink strips. And I had to agree, I was certainly much better dressed than the women I had seen in the other room. They were all dressed well, but not nearly as well as the women before me.

“So Tammy, did you train at a professional school or did you have another job before joining our office?”

“Oh, no. I’m sorry, I am pretty fresh off the boat I’m afraid. I think it was my typing skills that caught Mr. Corwin’s attention. That and since this isn’t a permanent position, he felt he could take the risk with me.” Lisa had taught me to explain myself this way. She said it would help if I apologized now and then, even if I hadn’t done anything wrong. It was a way to show that I was a humble person and not someone they needed to worry about. Plus saying that I was only temporary would mean that I wasn’t going to be around for very long.

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure you will do fine. I’m sure with your talents you’ll be able to land a full time job with us.”

I wasn’t sure if she really meant what she said. The tone and everything else about it seemed to say she was being honest and nice, but I also seemed to pick up some sort of acidic barb in there for some reason.

We chatted for a few more moments and then Alice led me over to the desk in the corner and began to instruct me as to how to answer the phone as well as where everything in the office was. Eventually she was able to guide me around to where the other offices were. It seems that Nancy was the main secretary to Jack Corwin and Alice was her assistant. Florence was the main secretary for the vice president, as well as the executive office manager, and Linda was her assistant. Alice was taking Nancy’s spot while she was out and I was taking Alice’s. It was confusing to me, but I guess it made sense not to switch who you reported to during this time.

It was a very busy day for me. It sort of flew by, everything was happening so quickly and I was rushing to catch up on all the right ways of doing things. One of the annoying aspects of where my desk was, was that part of it looked out over the secretary’s floor, and thus they all had a clear view of me and everything I did. Occasionally I looked up from what I was doing and would see some lady’s heads move quickly, as if they might have been looking at where I was. It was disconcerting to say the least.

Lunchtime came and I was somewhat unsettled to find that I wasn’t going to be eating with Alice. She was heading off with Florence and I was supposed to fill in for her while she was out. I was her assistant after all. So Linda came over and helped me through what to expect during the lunch hour while the office manager, Mrs. Luanna Strickland from the secretary floor, covered her duties for the vice president’s office. When it came time for our lunch, Linda and Luanna took me to the lunch room where I mainly sat and listened in on what they had to talk about.

I didn’t really feel comfortable bringing anything up with them. They were nice and all, but they seemed to want to know more about me than I really could talk about. So I mostly kept quiet and listened to what they were saying.

The next day was a little more familiar for me. At least I knew where to go and how to get things done better. Lunch wasn’t fun for me though, and eventually through the week Linda and Luanna had gotten what they wanted out of me and they stopped including me when they went to lunch. I’m not sure if I put them off or what, but they seemed to either be heading out more often or doing things that made me feel unwelcomed. I tried to talk to Lisa about it, but she kept telling me that the things they were talking about that made me feel unwelcomed were things women said to each other all the time. It was that I wasn’t too comfortable with talking about these things that was causing me to feel the way I was. As it was though, it became even more miserable for me to be there.

(currently…)

“Hello Alice. How was lunch?” I gave her my best smile while I asked. That’s one of the other things that Lisa had been drilling into me day in and day out. A smile and a perky attitude must be worn at all times. It helped cover up any sort of discomfort I might be feeling. Besides, she said that if the sharks smelled blood they could attack and I didn’t want to experience that.

I actually saw that happened on Monday. One of the girls in the secretary pool apparently had a bad breakup over the weekend, and the other girls formed two different groups. One group tried to console her a little, but the other group talked about her behind her back in ways that really shocked me. I had no idea they were so petty and mean about it all. What was worse was that some of the girls in one group were also in the other group. Lisa told me, ‘What do you expect? We’re human after all. Just because we’re women doesn’t mean we are supposed to be some sweet, nice, pollyanna type person.’

I tried to point out to Lisa that she was telling me to be the sweet, nice, pollyanna type person while I was in disguise as a girl. ‘That’s true,’ she said, ‘because you need to learn how to be non-threatening to the other women.’

I retrieved my purse from the desk and made my way to the ladies room. I had always thought that the bathroom would be very different than what I saw as a guy, you know? That women were always supposed to be these neat and tidy people and the bathroom would reflect it by being clean. That certainly was not the case. The bathrooms were one of the dirtiest places I had ever seen. You think men’s rooms are bad? Try the ladies; they aren’t clean. Not only was it not clean, but why was it that the men’s room had the same basic number of stalls? I knew how many stalls the men’s room had because I had been in there before during my interview process back before that horrible Thursday. Why were there not more stalls for the ladies room? I mean, it was obvious that going to the restroom as a woman was a lot more involved process than going as a guy. I mean, even as I guy I knew that.

But apparently no one ever told the designers this. Why the women haven’t complained about this before was beyond me. Listen, for a guy it was simple. You go in, you drop your pants, you go, and that’s that. When you are all done, all you have to do is pull your pants back up, tuck in your shirt and then hopefully wash your hands. But for a woman there was a lot more involved in ‘dropping your pants’. The number of ‘layers’ you had between you and the outside world was a lot more than what I had as a guy, and it was generally a lot more tight to the skin so getting it off, much less on, was a lot more involved. Plus you’ve got to keep your skirt or dress up high enough to not get it dirty. And I learned very early on that to have a tight skirt was a terrible thing, no matter how good someone said you looked wearing it. You had to practically undress in order to get to where you could sit down. And getting put back together? Again a lot more involved. And then you have to make sure your appearance is neat afterwards. That’s not as simple as tucking in your shirt. There’s hair and makeup and perfume and other things. It’s a mess. So tell me why there were the same number of stalls in the girls room as there were in the men’s room? Especially where there were only about ten men in the entire area compared to the fifty or so women? All trying to use the restroom at the same times?

It’s madness, I tell you!

But it was the bathrooms that gave me my first big clue as to what was going on around me.

(previously…)

The stall I happened to get into was the smallest one. I don’t know why, but they seemed to have run out of room when they were setting up the stall walls and this one stall against the wall seemed to have a lot less room than the other four normal stalls. I watched my purse swing slightly side to side from where it was hung on the door. When someone opened or closed the stall close by, it would start my purse swinging again. It wasn’t like I normally took a long time while using the restroom, but today I was a bit out of sorts. Something I ate for certain.

I glanced down again, making sure that I had a good hold on my skirt and slip, and that my girdle that held all my padding wasn’t low enough to be seen by everyone else from under the stalls. Not that anyone was going to be looking, but you never know what someone can see at times. I tried especially hard not to listen in or try to look at anyone in the bathroom. After all, I was intruding on their space whether they knew it or not. Lisa teased me now and then about having to use the women’s room and it was a very uncomfortable subject. Because she was partly right. It was something of a boy’s dream to be able to see what women did. To be able to catch glimpses of things that you normally would never see. Still, it wasn’t right. I mean, I at least didn’t go in there thinking it was some sort of love fest going on between all the girls like some guys would think.

Girls were like guys. They wanted to come in and do their business. Most didn’t want to talk while they were doing their business. The big difference was what they did after they did their business; while they freshened up at the counter or waited for their friends or whatever. A good number of them, far more than any guys, liked to strike up conversations. And not just sometimes, but it seemed like an all the time thing. I thought at first it must be between their friends, but I found out it was even between those that they didn’t know so well. Like me.

Yah, I didn’t like the bathrooms because they were always so busy and I felt so rushed. I also felt so exposed in there, that someone might see … well, you know. I also felt like they had me captive in there. I couldn’t get out sometimes without people trying to talk to me. Comments about my hair or whatever. I did my best to cut the conversations short. It was not a pleasant experience for me at all. I like bathrooms before all this happened because I could take a few minutes to escape everything. Guys tend to leave other guys alone. Not now though. I don’t like bathrooms anymore.

Suddenly I heard someone mention the name, ‘Tammy’. I was the only Tammy around the office that I knew of, so it had to be me unless they were talking about someone outside of the office. I listened in whether I wanted to or not. I couldn’t help it.

“Why in the world did they pick up that girl for the executive secretary job?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I heard that she never learned how to be in an office before she got this job. And that this is her first job at that. Do you know how long I’ve been trying to get a job like that? And she waltzes in and has it?”

“Yah, but the job is temporary. She won’t be an executive after that.”

“But what about the rest of us? We could have gone in there even temporarily and done a much better job. Hell, I could have shown them that I was capable to doing the job, but they brought in some stuck up bitch instead.”

“She’s certainly stuck up. Every time we try to talk to her she never wants to talk to us. And she’s always dressing like we’re so far beneath her. And… well, I did hear that one of the other top ladies say that she must have done something to get in there. You know she’s pretty cute, so she probably did her interview in a motel room.”

“I bet you’re right. She’s probably trying to land herself a husband. Well good luck there. All those men will play with you, but they aren’t going to let go of what they already have. Especially when there are a lot of girls here who would be happy to give them what they want.”

You know the list of why I hate bathrooms? It keeps growing.

(currently…)

I looked across the restaurant table at Lisa as she ate her salad, one identical to my own. One of our rules was that I had to eat the same things she ate. That’s one of the ways I kept in character. Kimberly saw my longing stare and asked what was wrong.

I tried to explain my problem. “It isn’t that I’m against salads. I like them well enough, I guess, but what I’d really like to have was something more pleasurable. Something really beefy to fill me up.”

When I figured out why they were laughing so hard, I could have buried myself under the table.

“So, what have you learned so far?” Kimberly asked us. We had been researching everything we could about my situation, looking for a way out of it. Lisa worked her social network for what she could find out and I had spent most of my Saturday in the library looking things up on a variety of subjects while the two of them worked in the salon. This was supposed to be our triumphant celebration meal about what we had discovered. It turned out to be more of a discussion of futility.

Lisa started off, “Well, one of the things we have learned is that our beloved Mr. Jack is one of the most powerful men in the county.”

I nodded, filling in, “He’s up there and calls a lot of shots it seems. Many of the elected officials meet with him during the week or call him on issues. I can’t say he tells them exactly what to do, but his opinion is always sought on a lot of things. He also gets into calls about once a day that none of us secretaries are allowed in on. So he must be doing a lot of behind the scenes type stuff.”

“Yah, that’s pretty much what Bonnie said too, that Jack was not someone you wanted to get angry with you. Seems he can arrange to have your business suffer and not make as much money if he wants to. And if he really didn’t like you, he could make it fail.” Lisa pointed towards me, “And we both have found out that there’s no way we’re going to be able to take him to court about the whole not wanting a guy to work as a secretary thing.”

“What do you mean? It’s completely wrong. He should easily lose that case.” She waved her hand indirectly to cover me. “Even though we’re in a right to fire state, the government still protects against discrimination over gender and stuff.”

“That’s true, but you need witnesses. And the only people who witnessed it were Tammy, myself, Bonnie, Jack, and his secretary Nancy. And Bonnie won’t speak against Jack. Like I said, if you get on his bad side your business can go under. And Nancy won’t go against him either. She’s got a baby now and her husband is a fire fighter, directly controlled by the county government which Jack is so capable of influencing. He doesn’t have to do anything directly, because people will assume what he might want them to do and do it for him, just to get on his good side.”

I added, “And so that leaves Lisa and me, arguing against Jack and two others who would take Jack’s side of things. And in that trial, my situation would come out and thus Lisa’s. You know what? That bastard could argue that he gave me the job when I was a guy and still let me have the job when he went to Bonnie’s, even knowing I was a guy and that I would be dressing as a girl. So any argument saying that he didn’t want guys working as a secretary would have to fight all of that. We’d never survive afterwards. And there’s no where we could go nearby that he couldn’t reach out to and destroy our chances to have a job, a home, or anything else.”

Kimberly took it in and noted, “That’s why your plan is to get way far away from here, right? So that you can get away from anything he could influence?”

Lisa swallowed her bite and answered, “Exactly. Look, Tammy or I are going to have to get far away from here, establish ourselves, then we can bring the one left behind along. And right now that is looking like it is going to have to be me. I should be able to set up in another place fairly easily. Then Tammy disappears here, and Terry shows up far away. He won’t be able to use any of his work experience here, but at least we’ll get out from under him. At worse we have to stay separate from each other for a short time, while they might look or check up on where we went, but then we’ll be okay to get back together.”

“So when do you plan to move then?”

I sighed, stabbing my salad with my fork, “Not for a long while. I have to pay off these loans that Jack pushed on to me for the clothes and stuff.”

“Well, that wasn’t too much, was it?”

“It was enough to really slow me down. And it gets worse. Even though I’m being paid more than the other girls because I’m an executive secretary, it isn’t nearly what the other ladies are making. I’m a temp after all. And all that extra money is being spent on clothes and stuff to help me keep up with the dress requirements at work.”

“And doctor bills…” Lisa mumbled.

“Yah, don’t remind me.”

“Doctor bills? Is there something wrong?” Kimberly looked back and forth between the two of us, trying to figure out who was having problems. It wouldn’t be unlike Lisa to shove her expenses on someone else, but after everything Tammy, err Terry, was doing for her, why would she abuse him like that? Didn’t she realize the lengths and depths that he was going through to help her? And he had been so noble about it too.

He spelled it out for her. “My friend and promoter of good health, Mr. Jack Corwin, is making sure that I get what I need to fulfill my lifelong dream and wish of being a woman.”

“But… you don’t want to be a woman.”

“Yah, but he thinks Tammy does want to be a woman. That’s what Bonnie sold Jack on that Thursday. God that bitch drives me nuts. I tried to take things only a little way and she takes over with her whole ‘All the Way or Nothing’ attitude because she thinks she is so right about everything… I mean, UGH!”

Kimberly looked me over. “So what does that mean? How is he going to do the wish fulfillment?”

“He’s making sure that I have the information I need and the appointments with the various doctors in order to achieve my goal. He’s even researched things out for me so that I have all the information at hand.”

“Oh God!” Kim exclaimed. “He’s going to have the doctors cut your … thing off.”

“NO!” Lisa and I both erupted, then we felt embarrassed having shouted in the restaurant.

“No, it isn’t like that. Not this early at least.” I drew an imaginary line on the table and stated pointing to various locations down the imaginary line. “Here’s the time line of events. This is what I found out and I’m safe and clear on things. You see, I have to have therapy for a long while before anything medically or surgically can be done. So I should be way out of here before it gets time to see the medical doctors about it. And even if I don’t get out of here that fast, which I hope to God doesn’t happen. Even if I’m here for a year or so and then the medical doctor part happens, they don’t go in and start cutting things off of me. They have to go slow as well. They have this entire procedure of events that must happen before the next thing can be done.”

This was news to Lisa as well, “How slow do they go? And once they start, aren’t you committed all the way?”

“Nope. I mean, it’s slow. Every part of the procedure takes time. It’s like another year or so each part. A year of therapy and then you get to the medical part. And that takes time like I said. You see they start injecting you with girl’s hormones. Then your body slowly changes to a more girlish shape and form. It’s not a complete change, but a partial change. From what I read, it won’t turn me into some super model or something like that. No, my skin will become more soft. And I’ll slowly start to grow… um, curves.”

Kimberly laughed a little, “Oh God, if you get tits you won’t stop fondling yourself.”

I blushed a bit and then I caught Lisa’s eye and she seemed a bit intrigued by that, which made me blush even more. I tried to protest, “No, no, no. It isn’t like that. It’s very slow. It’s like, oh, I don’t know, how fast it took you to grow your own, you know?”

“Oh, that took a long while before they began to look good and you’re right, they take a good long time before they even come in. You’ll have itty bitty titties for a long time.”

I crossed my arms over the padding of my breasts. “This whole conversation is making me very uncomfortable.”

Lisa ventured, “But once that happens, what else? Is it permanent?”

“Ah, no. Not really. From what I read, the body will redistribute the stuff back to where it goes based upon the hormones I have in my system. So if I have girl hormones, I get hips, small waist, soft skin, and … you know. But when I stop taking those hormones my body has its own and I’ll just revert back to my normal self.”

“Won’t your thing suffer?”

“Nothing bad from what I read. It will be a long while before anything happens to stop my thing from acting like it should act. But by then I best be away from here and if I’m not able to get away normally by then, I certainly will be running for the other coast, loans or not. I won’t leave a forwarding address either.”

“So when does the thingie get cut off?” Kim blushed a bit, but I could tell she was curious about the whole thing. It didn’t bother me much, as it wouldn’t happen to me that’s for sure. It was a much more clinical type of view point.

“Well, let’s see. You go on the meds and your body changes which takes a few years. Then you have to prove that you’re willing and able to live as a woman, so that’s yet another year or so. Then if everyone agrees, the doctors, the therapist, and the patient, they can then do the surgery which I read was really expensive.”

“Oh, then even if things go all to hell, we’ll have plenty of time, right?”

“Exactly.”

Lisa wondered, “Is Jack doing all these things to see if you trip up and reveal yourself as a fraud? Do you think he’d do something like that?”

“Um, I don’t know. I mean, what I’m telling you about the time line and all is from the library, so unless Jack wrote that and published it under assumed names, I don’t think so.” They all chuckled at that. “However you know how controlling he is about everything. I told you how he likes to be very rigid about everything done perfectly right all the time. I bet he’s with that therapist right now discussing what happened during my meeting and making sure that I’m not a fraud of some sort. He’s not paranoid. I’m not saying that. But he’s the kind of man who ensures that everything is done by the book. I bet he’ll even set up tests of his own to make sure I’ll follow through with them and continue to prove I’m on the up and up in all this. He’ll want to insure I am not faking anything.”

Kimberly considered the two of us and what we had talked about as she ate for a few moments in silence. Then a thought occurred to her, “You mentioned doctor bills like you already have seen a doctor. Have you?”

I nodded. “Yah, sort of. I had my first therapy session yesterday. Didn’t I mention that? I had to take time off from work to do it too, so that’s another thing that is stopping me from getting all the money we need to move on.”

“How did it go?”

“It was … strange. I had to keep in mind what I needed to say about things so that the doctor would believe that this was what I wanted in life. Keeping to the script and lies I needed, I think I did okay.”

“What sort of things did you say?”

“Um, God this is embarrassing. I had to tell him that I wanted to be a girl and stuff. But he didn’t really seem all that interested in my telling him that.”

Lisa joined in. I hadn’t told her everything about the therapy session yet. “So if you didn’t talk about wanting to be a woman and how you were a girl in a boy’s body and all that junk, what did you talk about?”

“Well, it was mostly how I felt at work and stuff. You know, how I was coping and working with the other girls and stuff. Like, how I felt about things, my troubles I was having fitting in with the other girls, my living as a girl full time, and stuff like that.”

“What sorts of troubles are you having? Is it that you are trying to understand the other girls or something like that? Because let’s face it, you don’t have a lot of life experience as a girl so of course you don’t know what girls like or do and that would make it hard to swap girl stories and junk.”

“No, mostly that the other girls aren’t accepting me in their little groups.”

Lisa laughed a little at this, but Kimberly pressed on. “In what way are they not accepting you?”

“Well,” I squirmed a little in my chair and felt my cheeks heat up, “the executive secretaries see me as someone who doesn’t have the background to be an executive secretary, even a temporary one. And the girls from the secretary floor think I’m stuck up and that I dress more nicely than them as a way to try and be better than they are.”

Lisa and Kimberly both laughed a little at my confession. Lisa already knew all of that, but she still found it funny. She pressed me and encouraged Kimberly to hear the rest. “You’ve got to hear the funniest part of this whole thing. Tammy, tell Kimmie here what both groups think you did to get the job.”

I delayed as long as I could, but it was inevitable. If I didn’t say, then Lisa would say and she’d make it sound a lot worse. “They all think that my typing skills alone aren’t enough to have landed me this job. They all think I slept with one or more of the managers to get the job.”

I thought Kimberly was going to choke to death after that.

(meanwhile on the other side of town …. )

“You know Jack, she’s the real deal here.” Don sat back in his chair on the private deck at the country club, looking out over the pool. He took a long sip from his drink before setting it down on the table between himself and Jack. They both sat and watched their families swim in the pool as well as watched some of the pretty ladies walk about.

“The real deal? How so?”

“Well, you know that this isn’t my expertise, but I read up enough in the last week to know that she’s showing the classic signs. She didn’t seem all that interested in trying to convince me that she was a girl at heart or anything like that. If she was trying to trick you or me, she would have spent a lot of time on that alone. As it was, she only responded to my questions about that sort of thing and then she dropped it. That was it.”

Jack glanced over and tried to evaluate what the doctor had said, “But wouldn’t the lack of talking about it be a sign that she isn’t the real deal?”

“Well yah, if she then went on and talked about cars or guy stuff. Or if she continued to try and convince me that she was a girl and not a boy at heart. No, this girl didn’t do either one of those.”

“What did she do then?”

“Well, she talked about how she felt like she was being ostracized from the rest of the girls at your office. She feels they aren’t letting her into their little hen house and she wants desperately to feel a part of all that. Tammy said that your senior girls seemed to feel she didn’t have the skills or experience to be one of them, and their keeping her out. I bet your senior girls see her as a threat, not because she’s a great secretary, but because she’s young and cute. So damn, she’s got them all convinced she’s the real deal otherwise they wouldn’t be threatened like that. Plus your junior girls also don’t like her. Tammy said that they felt she was stuck up and didn’t like that she dressed much better than they do.”

“Well, I guess that’s to be expected. After all the juniors aren’t required to dress at the same level as the senior staff. So of course she can’t dress like they do.”

“Yah, but it also shows something else. She likes to dress nicely. We talked a little about what she wears when she’s not at work and from what she said, she dresses nicely then too. She also isn’t coming at it from the angle you just used. If Tammy was really a guy, she would have been logical about the whole deal and would have written it off like that. But no, she talked about how it made her feel and how hard it was for her to fit in. All because she wants to fit in. She’s also worried about what she’ll do after her temporary job runs out. How will she fit in with all the girls in the common room after they’ve pushed her out all this time and she also doesn’t know if she could even dress as casually as they do. I can tell she likes to dress as feminine as possible. You know Jack, she’s the real deal.”

“Huh, I hadn’t thought about the disruptions to the staff that she’ll have when we move her down to the common room.” He took a drink and made a mental note to think about how to help Tammy out in that regard. He didn’t need another senior staff member and she wasn’t fitting in with either group, so it would be hard no matter which group she tried to join once Nancy came back to work.

“She’s also complaining about how uncomfortable she’s feeling dressed like she is.”

“What? I thought you said that she likes to dress as feminine as possible? If she’s a real woman like you say she is, why does it bother her?”

“Sorry, I guess I need to clarify that. It is not that she feels out of place dressing like she does. No, her complaints are about the padding she has to wear in order to wear the clothes properly. She spent a bit of time complaining about how uncomfortable it was.”

“Well, I can see that. I mean, I am sure that wearing padding would be sort of difficult in the summer time. All that heat trapped in there. I mean, I don’t like to wear a suit coat myself all the time either, so I bet she would like to take her ‘coat’ off in a way.”

“Exactly. She’s wanting to ditch the padding and look normal. I tell you Jack, she’s ready to be a woman now. All this waiting is going to kill her.”

“Waiting?”

“Well yes. There are procedures that we follow generally. She’s got to spend time in therapy for a while so that we can officially say that she is or isn’t the real deal.”

Jack nodded at his point, mentally noting that Don already stated that she was the real deal. Just like in business, there were times some idiot created a bunch of procedures and red tape to slow down what needed to be done. Yes, they were helpful if you had to be careful about your next step, but once it was determined what the right course of action was, the responsible thing to do was to do it. Damn the procedures and get the job done.

Don continued on, “And after that, she’s then ready for the medical side of things. She’ll have to be prescribed estrogen and other female hormones in order have her body adapt. Then she’ll have to eventually do what is called a real life test. Living as a woman full time for about a year so that she is confident that this is what she really wants to do and that she isn’t some cross dresser or something like that. Once she’s proven that, then she can have the operation.”

Jack was silent for a moment. He thought about it and what Tammy would have to live through before reaching the end goal. That was what? Three years of effort to prove beyond everyone’s doubt that she was really ready for this? That would be like a journey through hell to prove to everyone else that you could do it, all the while playing “mother may I” every step of the way. It was obscene to have to put up with that much crap to get to where you were trying to get to.

No, that wouldn’t do. Tammy was pretty damn courageous. The more he saw of what she was going through to get to where she was trying to go, the more courageous she became. He thought originally that ‘Tammy’ was a failure as a man, such a failure that he was willing to be demoted to being a woman. But now he saw things in a newer light. Here was a person, brave, determined, willing to live through years of hell to get what she wanted. Tammy was risking everything she was to achieve this goal. And if she was discovered during that time? It would be throwing the Christian to the lion while everyone watched from the stands.

No, that won’t do. He wasn’t going to stand by while everyone played ‘gate keeper’ and made Tammy jump through their hoops and dance before them until they were satisfied that she was ready to go to the next step on the ladder. No, that won’t do at all. The responsible thing when the procedures are in the way of the justified and qualified goal is to damn the procedures and do it.

And there was one thing Jack did well. He got things done.

It couldn’t get any worse now, could it?

Lisa pulled in to her apartment’s parking lot and nervously noted that Terry’s car was already there. He wasn’t supposed to be home this early. In fact, it was three hours too early for him to be home. Whatever was going on, it couldn’t be good. He could be sick. Or maybe he needed to get away and do some “man” time again. He thought she didn’t know about the times he hid his girl-self away and did his best to look like a dude again, but she knew. She had spotted him twice now outside the apartment once on a Saturday and once on a weekday evening when he thought she was at work.

She made her way up the stairs, carrying her running gear in a canvas bag. She noisily unlocked the door and made her way inside, hoping that if Terry was needing a moment to cover whatever he was doing, that she’d have given him enough time. She tossed her keys into the bowl on the kitchen bar and put her water bottle away before making her way back to the bedrooms. It was then that she caught an escaped sob from “Tammy’s” room. Even though they slept together most every night, he still had his own room.

“Honey?” she carefully opened the partially closed door. “Tammy? Are you okay?” She followed her own rules that she laid down back when this whole thing began. She’d seen enough TV dramas and read enough books to know that a secret’s weakest link was always with those who were originally involved in the secret. As such they did not talk about anything unless they were positive they were in a safe place. They also didn’t break the façade about the whole thing. If you got used to doing that, what would stop you from doing it when you were where you could be overheard?

‘Tammy’ was on his bed crying into a pillow. Because of what they were trying to do, he didn’t have many male clothes on hand. Nearly all of them had been packed away and stored inside Kimberly’s apartment in a spare closet of hers. What he had left were gender neutral items, like the shorts and t-shirt he was wearing now. Absently she noted that with his smooth legs and arms, along with his recently lightened curly hair he still looked fairly girly. As she got closer she saw his toe and finger nails were still polished and he was wearing his earrings and even some rings on his fingers. So he wasn’t trying to be in boy mode.

Laying down on his bed, she pulled him into her arms and tried to comfort him, wishing she had grabbed a box of tissues before she had joined him. When he finally looked at her, his eyes were puffy and his face thankfully makeup free. She had gotten used to him dressed up all the time. Heck, she had even gotten used to kissing him when he was wearing makeup or making love with him when he looked more woman like than man like, but it helped her a lot when she didn’t have to filter out all the changes that had been done to him since that day at Bonnie’s four weeks ago now.

“What’s wrong baby?” Inwardly she grimaced and chastised herself for saying the word ‘baby’ to him. She had gotten so used to him as a girl that she was comfortable about calling him terms she would only call another girlfriend. It wasn’t so much that she called him ‘baby’ in that light, but that Terry might see it as calling him a crying infant. Luckily, he didn’t seem to take it wrong. Still, she needed to watch herself.

“They moved the appointment to today!” he complained.

She waited for him to continue, but he buried his head into her shoulder instead, not wanting to talk for a while.

She rubbed his back, noting that he wasn’t wearing a bra at all. That wasn’t what they had agreed to, but given his feelings right now she wasn’t going to criticize him for that. She felt bad for him in so many different ways. It was really all her fault that all this was happening to him in the first place. If she hadn’t been so greedy, they would have been fine. As it was, they had dug themselves a very deep hole and dealing with it was not easy for either of them.

She urged gently, “What happened sugar? Did everything work out okay? They didn’t … you know …” she wasn’t sure how to phrase that question. After thinking for a moment she kicked herself over it all. Of course they didn’t cut anything off of him. That couldn’t happen. And even if they did, Terry would not have allowed it. Nor would he be here, comfortable after any such procedure. He’d certainly have bandages and other things down there.

“Well,” Terry began, wiping the tears off his cheeks, “I was at work and they called me and they said that they needed to reschedule my appointment to today, so I pretended to be sick and took the rest of the day off. Jack was out sick today, so I didn’t have a chance to even see if he knew anything about it all.”

“Did you go?” Partly she wished he hadn’t. It would be a lot easier if he would do something to stop this. She wanted him to, but she didn’t dare do it herself. There was so much riding on it. If she broke the charade they were living under, she could survive by going to another town and finding work that way. Terry on the other hand, he’d be destroyed from it all. No, if anyone could stop it, it would have to be him. It would have to be his choice. She’d support him all the way. A song fragment popped up in her mind; a very inappropriate verse of “stand by your man”.

Terry nodded. “It was like we thought. I got there and answered a few questions and he took some blood samples. He also… oh God it was awful.”

“What?!”

“Well, I had to undress and take off my hose and underwear down there, then put on a gown. He had me lie on the table and place my legs in these leg holder things. He checked me out down there, to make sure that I wasn’t doing anything that could harm anything.”

Lisa couldn’t help it as a laugh escaped as she thought of poor Terry in stirrups. “Oh my God! He didn’t use a speculum, did he?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like this little duck bill thing used to open you up so they can see inside. They put lubricant on it and then insert it inside you…”

Terry paled and backed away, “Dear Lord NO!”

She laughed harder, “That’s a relief.”

“No, he used his fingers instead.”

She was completely silent for a moment or two, then she started choking. Terry looked on and blushed down to his toes. “He had to check my prostate, which is, you know, down there,” he protested.

Recovering from that bombshell took her a bit and Terry fetched some tissues to blow his nose. He looked very resigned, his eyes cast downward as he continued to sniffle and blow his nose now and then.

Trying to cover herself, she started “I’m so sorry honey, it’s just…”

“You don’t need to say anything okay?”

“But I am sorry,”

“I’m sorry too. I don’t want to talk about it.”

She moved and sat next to him, pulling him back into her arms. “So was that it? I know that was very traumatic for you, but at least it was only a checkup.”

Terry pulled away and sat further down the bed.

(previously…)

“What do you mean, checkup?” Lisa asked.

“Well, Jack said he was arranging a doctor’s appointment for me for a checkup. He said he had done some investigations and was going to do what he could to help me.”

“But what does that mean? Is he trying to push things along?”

Terry tried to explain in a rational way to remove not only his worries, but hers as well. “Look, they can’t do anything to me yet. I’ve only been to the therapist once. So according to the rules and procedures for everything, no one can do anything to me yet. They need my permission first to do anything to me. Plus like I said, the therapist has to have seen me for at least six months to a year before anything can be done medically.”

“But, this is a doctor’s appointment. You know Jack, he’s crazy enough to try and push things the way he thinks they should be done.”

“I know. That’s got me worried too. But really, he can’t do it. Not in this case. They are legally bound to follow the statement of care in this. They can’t ignore the rules, right?”

“They shouldn’t be able to. No, you’re right. He’s probably doing this for some other reason.”

“Exactly. I’m thinking it is one of three things.”

“Yah?” Lisa sat up and him her full focus.

“Yah, like, he’s going to see if I run when faced with something like this.”

“I think you should run.”

“Believe me, if they were really going to do something to me, I would be well out of state by now. No, he’s got to be testing me again. I think he’s been spying on us you know.”

“Yah, I know. You’ve said that you’ve been seeing a car in the parking lot now and then, but honestly that is just bizarre.”

“The car really was there. Some guy is always sitting in it. And sometimes I see that car other places too! On some days, no matter where I go it seems to follow me around.”

“Yes, I know. But I’ve not seen it yet and frankly, the type of car you describe is pretty common.”

Terry pleaded, “I know! But still, I think I’m being watched.”

“What are the other reasons?”

“Oh, well, like I said, number one is that he’s doing this to see if I run. Number two is that he’s really doing something good. Like he’s trying to help by making sure that I am healthy.”

“I can see that partly. We’ve heard a few stories where he takes a personal interest in someone and does his best to tend to their needs.”

“Exactly, so this follows that. And number three? Well, he’ll do something else.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I mean, he could be actually trying to do something to me that’s stupid. Or he could be faking it. Or he could be trying to be helpful. It has to be one of those things.”

“So you think he’ll try something stupid?”

“If it was Jack alone, yes.” Terry faked a smile to hide his concerns. “But he can’t do this alone. No doctor is going to break with the rules and do what Jack wants. He can’t have that much power over someone.”

(currently…)

Lisa tried to get close, “Terry, what’s wrong?” But Terry got up and left the room.

She followed quickly afterwards, “What happened? You’re leaving something out!”

“He… well, he did something to me.”

“Like what?” Fearfully she quickly reached down and felt him down below, worried that maybe she was completely wrong and that something had happened. Terry tried to pull away, but the wall was behind him and she laid her hand upon him; stopped, and then felt around again. There wasn’t a bulge down there. The only thing she felt was a maxi-pad with nothing underneath. She screamed, “Oh SHIT!”

Terry pulled away from her and ran back into his room, slamming the door.

(previously…)

“Jack, look, I’m telling you that I don’t know anything about this sort of thing.”

Jack sat and continued his appeal to the man wearing a white coat on the other side of the desk at the doctor’s office. “I realize that. I didn’t think this was something you’d know about. After all, it isn’t all that common. But listen. Hear me out. I’ve lined up another physician who is going to handle the main work on this. He’s on the other side of the state, but he’s covered on this. He’s an expert. You only have to be his local person who does the physical things he can’t do over the phone.”

“I don’t know. It seems bizarre. I mean, I heard about this in school and all. It’s on the talk shows now, so I have even heard some collogues mention it at a symposium. But here in our town? I don’t know Jack. If something goes wrong, we’ll have to have your friend be on retainer through all the proceedings and available for emergencies. The last thing I want is something to go to hell with the whole thing and have someone die on me because I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Jack nodded, glancing at the doctor’s name on the desk plaque. It was a gift that he had given the good doctor a few years ago in appreciation for some work he had done for him. Discretion was always appropriate in medical situations, which is one of the main reasons he liked good old Dr. Willingham, a man close in age to himself who understood the things that he was going through as his body aged. There’s one thing he didn’t appreciate. When a young doctor tried to tell you how you should be feeling and dismisses what you’re going through, because they themselves have never experienced it. It was all textbook to them. With the good doctor here though, it was experience and definitely competence that made him Jack’s favorite.

He paused before stating, “He’s going to be on retainer. I want you to talk to him. You’ve got questions, he’ll have answers. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I want this to be on the up and up.”

Dr. Willingham accused, “You’ve got a habit of pushing people to do whatever you desire.”

“I like to think that they recognize the right thing to do. Most people are held back because of doubt, but remove that doubt and they can move forward.”

“Well I have doubt.”

“I can tell.”

“And you know me well enough to know that …”

“… no one pushes you around. Not even me.”

“Damn right!” the good doctor exclaimed.

“And you know that I bow to your expertise on things. Hell, I’ve even started to exercise more and you know I don’t like it.”

“You mean you started to exercise some. Playing golf isn’t exercise. Especially the way you play.”

Jack held up his hands, “Guilty. So are you in or out?”

“I’m in. I’ll do what is needed. I’ll get with your expert and we’ll hash out the details of what needs to be done. Who is paying for all this? Insurance sure the hell won’t and I doubt your little cookie has the cash to do this on hand.”

“No, she’s young and fresh out of school. I’m covering things. I’m billing her a portion, so that she feels like she’s contributing, but I’m going to carry the lion’s share on this.”

“Special project?”

Jack nodded.

“You know, these special projects of yours are always a pain in the ass.”

“Yes, I know. Still, I can’t sit on the sidelines when someone needs help. I don’t advertise what I do, you know that. I figure that someone in this world has to be there for those that need something.”

“Yes, I know. Jack, you’ve done some amazing charitable work and…”

“Shut up Bill. You know that I’m not in it for the praises. And if you have a critique about it, you’ve already told me.”

(currently…)

“Terry? Terry!” Lisa hammered on the door again. She’d been at it for awhile now and was very worried. She could hear him inside now and then; crying, moving around, telling her to fuck off. She was getting more worried now because he was so quiet. She’d welcome something, anything!

“Look, if you don’t open this door I’m going to call the fire department and we’ll break this door down. Listen, I’m worried about you. I need to know you’re okay?” She had started crying herself. She nearly jumped out of her skin when the door clicked and Terry opened it, looking at her with such despair.

“What’s going on? What happened?”

He yelled at her, “Fine!” Then he dropped his shorts, panties and all, stepping out of them.

At first she looked at him confused at what it was she was looking at. “Where’s…” There wasn’t any blood that she could see, or any stitches. He had a very flat front though.

“He shoved my goddamn balls into my body and made it look like I’m a girl down there!”

“How in the world?” She got down on her knees and close enough to see what had happened. Sure enough, she could see it now. Everything was still there, but it was hidden. No, not hidden, arranged so that it looked more like a woman’s. It was the most bizarre thing she had ever seen.
“How in the world did he do that?”

“Ice. And pushing. He showed me how to do it all too. Made sure I could do it myself. He said he got this whole thing from another doctor working with him on my case. He applied some glue type stuff down there. It will come free in about a day. He doesn’t want me to do this all the time, but he is showing me how to do it so that in case I need to hide myself better, I have the ability too.”

“Dear God. Does it hurt?”

“It’s very uncomfortable. But I have to wait until tomorrow night to undo it all. By then I probably won’t notice it.”

“Holy crap!”

“Yah.”

“You know, this isn’t so bad. With this, you could wear something tighter and it wouldn’t show. Like jeans. Or even a swim suit! We could go swimming!”

“You know Lisa? Sometimes you say the must stupid things.”

“What? I like swimming!”

Terry held back and finally relented, “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… well, that’s not all he did.”

“He did more?” She quickly looked for something else. No, he hadn’t grown boobies or anything like that. What was it that the doctor could have done? She had Terry spin around while she looked him over, finally spotting two small band-aids on his rear. “Wait, did he give you a shot?”

Terry slumped and nodded, finally saying, “Yes he gave me some shots.”

“What kind of shots?”

“I’m not sure. He said it would help me settle down some.”

“Why didn’t you ask him?”

Terry started crying again, “Because I didn’t know what else to do! I don’t know what he did, okay? He could have given me a shot for something else. Or it could have been nothing, like some sort of joke. It has to be a joke. He can’t have possibly given me the kind of shot that turns me into a girl!” He found himself unable to hold still, though he tried. He felt like he was throwing some sort of childish fit.

“Oh God, Jack is one sick … !” Lisa stood up again and angrily paced around.

“What?”

“Obviously, it’s what you said last week. Either he’s doing something good for you or he’s testing you. He can’t give you female shots yet, right? So he’s obviously trying to make you run. He’s testing you just like you said he would.”

“Yah, but why would he give me these shots?”

“It’s got to be something that’s harmless. He is testing you. He has to be. God, he is one sick mother …”

(across town the night before …)

Jack went over the reports while the ball game played on the TV. His team was way behind and it was the bottom of the eighth, so it wasn’t like he was missing much there.

“So what do we have here?” He marked items in the margin, trying to figure things out. That Tammy was all girl at work was no doubt and even though her therapist was completely on her side, he still kept coming back and questioning the whole thing. He frowned at himself. Normally he was a cut and dried type of man. It was either this or that. But he knew that nothing ever really fit that way. There was always something in between. There was always room for doubt or something that didn’t quite fit the mold.

Thankfully no one ever saw him like this. He was very careful to hide the fact that he wasn’t always the calm, decisive leader everyone thought he was.

Fact’s remained. Tammy looked and acted like a woman. She did everything a woman was expected to do. But there were times where she didn’t seem to be a woman. At her home, she would go without makeup. What woman goes without makeup? Okay, that wasn’t right of him to think that way. A woman wasn’t always in makeup. His own wife, God rest her soul, didn’t always dress up. She had her down times too. Maybe that’s what this was, Tammy’s down times?

But if Tammy was a woman, even if she took downtimes, she would wear things that made her look like a woman. And here was some photos of Tammy with a very male like chest. Times when Tammy wasn’t wearing women’s clothing, but what looked to be things from when she was a man. There were times where she could be seen being quite manly, her hair covered in a cap, no padding, no bumps, nothing. It was like sometimes on Saturday when her roommate wasn’t at home, she’d spend time being as manly and as male as possible.

So, what was going on here? Was Tammy real? Was Tammy having doubts? Or was Tammy only shedding her clothes for a short while to relax when it wouldn’t bother that stylist girl she roomed with? It couldn’t be comfortable under all that padding she wears and the other stuff that women wear. But if Tammy was a girl, and wanted to be all girl, all the way, all the time …. Wouldn’t she be a girl every single moment?

He pulled up the phone over, pulling the cord to give him some extra room, and made a call to the specialist. Maybe they shouldn’t move forward. He had gotten the specialist to agree to all of this by subterfuge. He had even gotten a letter of transitioning sent to the specialist well before it was time. Something made a little easier by the therapist being so decisive early on. It shouldn’t be hard to direct him to take it a little more cautiously. Maybe instead of giving Tammy hormones, they could give her something harmless instead. Like a placebo. That would work. This way, if Tammy committed herself without a problem to the treatment, then it was the real deal. And if she balked, then something else was going on.

He rubbed his head as he waited on the call to be answered. This whole thing was giving him a headache. He wasn’t feeling well at all.

(two days later…)

“Mr. Corwin, it is good to see you again sir. How are you today?” Alice asked as she rose from her desk.

“Fine. Whatever it was, it was temporary.”

“It must be going around, Tammy was out as well yesterday.”

“Well if I remember right, she has today off today?”

“Yes sir. Some medical appointment or something that she needed. Honestly I don’t understand why she has the whole day off because of a doctor’s appointment.”

“That’s alright. Come with me Alice, I need to talk privately with you about something.”

Alice made a quick call to Florence and routed Jack’s calls to her office temporarily, then followed Jack into his office.

Jack directed her not to sit in her usual chair across the desk from him, but to the sitting area where she sat in the chair next to the couch. “What is it Mr. Corwin? What can I help you with?”

“Well, it’s all about Tammy I’m afraid.”

“Oh? Has there been problems with her work? She seems to be doing quite well.”

“How well is she doing?”

“Well, she’s still fairly new, but she’s picked up a lot in her first month here. I’d say she’s done very well for herself.”

“Good, good.” Jack thumped his hand on the sofa’s arm rest. He had to be careful in what he said, mindful of what the therapist had told him about Tammy’s views on what was happening at the office. The comment about how Tammy was sleeping around to get the job was ludicrous, but sometimes people were that stupid. “Tammy is causing me some problems.”

“Yes?”

“Well, it is nothing work wise mind you. I haven’t had any complaints about her work. And you and Florence have done a fantastic job of filling in any deficiencies that might have arisen while Tammy is getting up to speed. I’m very proud of all the work everyone has done. I’m also very pleased with your performance in Nancy’s place.”

Alice felt her mind go into shock. Jack never ever complimented any of the secretaries that she had heard of in her entire time of working at W, G, & D. She found her voice at last, “Thank you sir. I … well, I’m glad we’ve been able to do a good job for you.”

“Quite. I do appreciate it. But, Tammy’s time with us as a temporary is coming to a close. In two or four weeks from now, depending on when Nancy wants to return, Tammy is going to find her temporary status completed. I don’t know what to do with her at that point. She’s good enough, you’ve said, that she’ll be a benefit to the company. Still, we don’t have an executive secretary position open for her to fill. I’m not sure how she will do if we move her down to the secretary pool, or if the other ladies will be as accepting of her as you and the rest of the staff have been.”

Feeling only a slight bit of guilt at his statement, she tried to make him feel better for it. “Well, there will be friction, that’s for certain. But I think she’ll do find with the adjustment. The problem is, sir, there isn’t an available desk for her. We are at full staff. The economy, being what it is, has certainly given us a very stable workforce.”

“Indeed. Good ol’ Reagonomics has not pulled us out of the slump we’re in currently. That is what has me worried. We don’t really have a place for her at this time. I don’t want to release her, because she’s not likely to get a job out there. And I desire that she is taken care of in this regard.”

“Mr. Corwin, I’m sorry, but while I appreciate your concern for her, do you feel it is wise to upset the company for one temporary employee?”

“At times, yes. And this goes no further than this room here. Are you able to keep a secret?”

“Of course, sir. You can count on my confidence in all matters.”

“Well, you see, Tammy has a situation. She’s got … medical issues. I want to keep her employed so that she’s able to have these issues attended to. How do I put this? She’s … “

(currently…)

Terry stared up at the ceiling as he laid in bed. Lisa had been quite clear about the whole thing. Take time to relax today, but not to do any “boy time”.

So he laid there in bed, wearing a very silky nightgown from Lisa’s drawers. Glancing down, he was very aware that beyond not having much of a waist or hips, he looked every inch a girl with his flat front and his glued on prosthetics on his chest. He felt very fresh and soft today, after all the pampering Lisa had done on him the night before to calm him down. And even though he was still very much tucked into place down below, she had given him a very enjoyable and relaxing time.

He looked at the ceiling again, and repeated himself, “It has to be a joke. It has to be. He couldn’t have done …. It has to be a joke.”

Terry’s last four weeks have been difficult, but now the maternity leave is over and he’s out of work. But never fear, he will be taken care of.

Terry looked closely at himself in the bathroom mirror, turning slightly here and then there, before grabbing a small hand mirror, turning around, and using it to check out his backside. He didn’t seem any different even with the panties pulled up or down. Experimenting, he shook his bottom a little and satisfied, he tried the same with his chest, but the falsies he had glued on kept interfering with his ability to tell if anything was happening. He laid the mirror down with a sigh. Every day now for the last week he had been checking himself out this way in the morning and in the evening. Beyond the fact that his waist was a little smaller than it used to be, he couldn’t really see any changes from day to day, except maybe he had more hips today. That might be true. He looked at them again, using his hands to prod, poke, and smooth around them. As worried as he was, he started to get a little turned on at the girl in the mirror.

At least that part of him was still functioning normally, even if it was his image in the mirror that was turning him on. And if he could turn himself on, he was probably turning on other guys as well. For many really good reasons, that was not comforting. Yet, it was good in one way. Maybe satisfying too. No, no, definitely not satisfying. It was only good in the respect that if he looked good as a woman, than people would see him as a woman and not as some guy in a dress. To maintain the masquerade required people to believe in the illusion.

Gently shaking his head, he went back to getting dressed for the day. Despite Lisa’s advice and insistence for what he should wear today, he felt like rebelling, so he wasn’t going to wear a matching bra. In fact, he was going to dress a little more free altogether, going against the rigid dress code, even in the small way he was doing, felt like a wonderful thing. What would they do? Fire him? Not likely. Today was THE DAY. The final day.

After his long girdle was padded out giving him his hips and rear, he slipped on the full slip and then a red shirtwaist dress, buttoning up the many buttons in the front and tying the matching belt on front. He slipped on his rings and a large necklace that matched his dangling earrings. Examining himself in the mirror, he was satisfied that he hadn’t messed up his makeup or his hair. A quick spray of his perfume and he was ready. His purse and heels were waiting for him in the living room.

He walked out quietly and looked at Lisa still sleeping in their bed. She looked so beautiful, even with her hair going every which way. He wanted to give her a kiss goodbye for the day, but he had already done so when he had gotten up for the day. She might wake up if he did it now, but still she was worth the risk. Grinning, his stocking feet padded over to her side of the bed and he carefully leaned in, his polished nails holding his necklace to his chest as he planted a gentle kiss on her cheek, causing her to stir slightly. He leaned back and grinned as he saw that his lipstick had left a beautifully defined red pucker mark where she would see it when she woke up for her day at work. He’d repair his lipstick in the living room before he left.

She had been so wonderful to him all this last month. Patient, kind, willing to rub his feet after a long hard day. Putting up with his worries and anxieties. He quickly padded out of the room and pulled the door mostly closed and made it to the kitchen before he started to cry. He hated when he cried.

Life was just hard at times. All this stress. Every single day worrying about everything that was going on around him. Worrying that he was getting comfortable with the way things were. Wondering when he’d be able to break free and then wondering what he’d do if he got free before he was ready?

That was probably his biggest worry right now. Today was his last day at work, but he wasn’t sure what he’d do tomorrow. He wasn’t sure what he’d be able to get away with after today.

“Hello Tammy. How are you doing today?” Dr. Willingham asked as he walked into the examination room, closing the door behind him.

Terry took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “Um, fine doctor. Why did you need to see me again so soon?”

The graying physician looked confused for a moment, not sure what the issue was or specifically, why Tammy didn’t understand why she was here. “I thought I had explained that earlier?”

“You did?” Terry shifted uncomfortably in the chair, worried about what might be going on. This was his last day of employment, so he was concerned at what might be going on now.

“I understand. You are probably wondering what’s going to happen to you after today. I thought that Jack… um, Mr. Corwin had explained to you that he’d make sure you were taken care of?”

“Oh, he did sir. Sorry I must have forgotten. I mean, I remember him telling me that and all, but I really… well, I’m not sure what we’re really doing here and all that.”

“Don’t worry so much about things. A pretty young woman like you shouldn’t concern herself so much with things like this. Mr. Corwin has explained to me exactly what I’m to do and how I’m supposed to do it.”

“He has?” That didn’t sound well. Four days previously Terry had been here and had his blood drawn for more lab work. He knew that if Mr. Corwin was still testing him, he’d have to be put through the procedures as if everything was really happening. But if he wasn’t testing him, he’d be go through the exact same sort of procedures he was going through now. He couldn’t tell which way he was really going, the fake or the real.

“You know, Jack really cares deeply about you.” The doctor put the folder down on the table behind him. “He looks at you and what you’re going through as a personal testament of the strength of your character.”

“He… he does?”

“Yes he does. He and I go back a long ways and I’ve been on the inside of many of the things he has done to help others out. And to test to see if they are really who or what they say they are…” He sighed, “He is the type of guy who invests in people. And at times he’s been fooled, which he really doesn’t like to admit to, but it happens. So he will sometimes go through very elaborate set ups to make sure that the person he is going to help really deserves his help.”

“But I thought that he was… I mean, all the things he’s been doing aren’t real?” I was feeling the weight fly off of my chest. I started to sniffle at the relief I was feeling. It had all been a test and he wasn’t really doing anything to me other than making me live as a woman. None of these doctor visits were really real.

“Don’t get me wrong.”

The good feeling started to depart rapidly as he kept speaking.

“Please, have a tissue. What I mean is that his intent to help people is real. And in some cases, he’ll move heaven and earth to push things where they need to go. He’s not afraid to invest his time or his money in someone he believes in.”

“So he believes in me?”

“I think he wants to believe in you. He has doubts. Frankly, I think he’s nuts myself. If you were fully under my care without his input, we wouldn’t be talking about doubts. I see you before me. I understand full well that you intend for this to happen. That this is your real desire. You are without a doubt a woman who is trying to correct what went wrong.”

“Oh…”

“But Jack…. Well, he means well and if it was something like cancer, we wouldn’t have any problems at all. He would make certain that you would have every possible medical treatment that we could give you. But this whole transsexual thing is out of his league, so you can understand his attitude. There are times he is fully on board and other times he wonders and tries to figure out if you really are a fraud.”

I had grabbed a few more tissues at this. I couldn’t understand what exactly he was saying, but I was getting the idea now. The doctor was letting me know that Jack was testing me still and that the doctor himself felt it was pointless to test. Great, I had convinced the doctor, but not Jack. And I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or bad thing.

I guess it was good that what Lisa and I were trying to do with this whole stupid thing was working on the doctor and such, but it wasn’t working really well on Jack. If he didn’t know which way we were really going, I was going to have to continue to sell it so that he wouldn’t doubt so much. We couldn’t afford Mr. Corwin to suddenly decide we were faking after all this time. He could easily destroy what we had in this town. He probably would even have us arrested for fraud or something.

“Anyway, I’m sorry that this is upsetting you. I know it is rough. The more I study this situation, the more I realize how traumatic it is for people to live with it. Anyway, the standards of care require that you have therapy for about a half a year or so before we do anything. I’m sorry that it has to be that way.”

I felt like hugging him and giving him a huge kiss. Which would be so damn gay that it made me a little sick to my stomach.

“This must be like a cancer on your soul. And as I said, cancer we can treat immediately. No reservations and we’ll do what we must, rules be damned. But that is not how the standards see this.”

“I understand doctor.” I could barely make myself talk I was so incredibly happy. “I get the point you are making and I really appreciate everything you are doing.”

“Good. I can see that you are getting the point. I’m glad you and I have had this talk. Now you know what we’re doing here for real, you can be certain that when the time comes, you’ll already be well past ready and we could really hurry things along then. Now what we did last visit was check your blood levels to see how well the previous shots went. We’ll do the same again in three months. During this time, you’ll not notice anything out of the ordinary of course. There might be some side effects from the vitamin shots I’m going to give you, but this is expected.”

I looked at him with the question in my eyes and he smiled and winked. “You know, typical girl things like baking cookies, shopping, and gossip. Nothing to worry about though. Remember what we talked about? We’re only doing what we need to do. So when a year is up officially, you’ll be well along the way to going to the next step.”

Terry frowned at the suggested side effects. Was that really possible once he really went on hormones? From what he had read in the library, from his meager understandings, was that the changes were biological and not such bizarre and frankly, ridiculous type of effects he was talking about. He could possibly see someone being happy after having been started on this road if that was their true desire or if their body really did need to be operating with the different set of hormones, but to want to bake cookies? Go shopping? If it was a joke, it wasn’t a good one. At least he felt calmer now about what the doctor was really doing. It was obvious now. Dr. Willingham was playing the game that Mr. Corwin wanted, to test him to see if he was true. Even though the good Doctor was convinced, though falsely, of Terry’s desire to be a girl, he couldn’t go against the standards. So all this was another lie. A pretence to keep everyone happy. And to keep Terry happy, the good man had told him that if he, or in the doctor’s eyes she, was patient, then the time would come with the actual drugs would be administered. Oh, if Mr. Corwin knew that the doctor had told him this, there would probably be hell to pay.

Still, even though that weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he still had to worry about how to pay the doctor even though he wasn’t really doing anything. “Okay. Um, I’m not sure if I’ll have a job in three months. I don’t know how I’ll keep the appointment if I can’t pay for it.”

“Jack will find a way, believe me. Now let’s give you some,” he paused to cough, “vitamin shots. Everything about your blood work tells me that we’re good to continue.”

“Tammy? Are you okay?” asked Jack as they settled into the chairs back in his office. They had returned from a very nice lunch with the rest of the secretaries for the official send off.

Terry blotted his eyes again, trying not to ruin his mascara again. “Yes sir. I’m sorry, but I’ve been very emotional today.”

Jack’s voice soften. “I could tell you’ve been under a lot of stress this week. You seem to be having a very rough time of things.”

“Yes sir. I guess I have been out of sorts.” He wanted to scream, ‘You try wearing a dress and pretending you’re a girl while your boss is tricking you into thinking you’re getting hormone shots!’

“Well, I want you to know that I’ve been working in the background on your behalf.”

Terry did his best to show the right amount of surprise. He thought, ‘Of course you’ve been working in the background on everything.’ Out loud he asked, “What do you mean, sir?”

“Well, we don’t have any openings here. If we did, you would be first in line. Well, except for that beginning position in the mechanical group, but you wouldn’t have like that. Too much math and dirty machines and all.”

He wanted to yell, but he didn’t. Jack was right about one thing, he wouldn’t have enjoyed working there as ‘Tammy’. Terry wouldn’t have minded, but they wouldn’t have been getting him. They would have gotten ‘her’.

“In any event, I’ve been trying to find another job for you. I’m afraid that with the economy as it is, Reagonomics and all, the jobs are way too few. What does pop up has a lot of applicants and they typically can get someone with a lot of experience for nothing. But I have been trying to pull in a few favors where I have them, or use my influence where it might be of use. Yet I’m sad to report that I’ve not had any luck.”

Terry was relieved in one respect. Knowing Jack, he would have probably set Terry up in some sort of what he would consider a girl’s dream job. A job might be a job, but some things were not worth it. He swallowed, “I understand sir. And I do appreciate all the work you’ve done on my behalf.”

“Well, it’s not over yet. Come Monday, you are to report to the job services office and meet with Mrs. Taylor. She will process your application for unemployment. She’ll also enter you into their job search programs and give you the details on how to use their services.”

“Thank you sir.”

He looked a little troubled as he paused and fiddled for a moment. I could tell he wanted to give me more advice, but he wasn’t sure where to go with it.

“One of the big problems we’re having here is your name.”

Now my surprise was genuine. “My name?”

“Yes. I know that you prefer to be called Tammy and not Terry, but it could be far worse. You could have a name like Fred or Roger or something macho like. Still Terry connects you to your past and I’m not sure if that’s really what you want.”

“Sir?”

“I know it is early yet, but if you want to change your name legally to Tammy, I have all the paper work ready for you. I had originally thought I could do it as a gift to you before you left, but I found out that I was unable to do anything more than this. Still, it’s what I could do.”

‘CRAP!’

“So you should find it in the mail by tomorrow or Monday and if you want to take this next step, I’ll do what I can to help you make it happen. If you want to wait, I guess I can understand that too. Still, it is harder right now to talk to others about ‘Tammy’ when you’re really ‘Terry’. I guess having a name that could be taken both ways is helpful in this.”

I nodded. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

“And now you might be worried about how you can continue your journey if you aren’t employed here. I want you to know that I’m going to be watching you and helping you when and where you need it. I will not take ‘no’ for an answer on this. So you will continue your doctor appointments and if you need a special appointment, do it. I’ll make sure the bills are paid.”

“Mr. Corwin, I really appreciate this. But I don’t know how I could ever repay you on any of this. It is really far too much for me to accept no matter how generous you feel it is.”

“Nonsense. I’m not giving you a free ride. I’m giving you a sort of a loan. There is one thing I know about in life, is that people who receive free rides do not appreciate the struggle it takes to obtain what they are given without the accompanying hardship. Life is about hardship. Plain and simple. But, it doesn’t need to be insurmountable hardship. So you will struggle still to meet the demands for things, but you won’t find it unbearable. If you do, we’ll arrange for some additional loans, if you really are giving it your all. Eventually later in life you’ll find that you’ll be able to pay back what I’m doing now. At that time, you will pay it back. So don’t give me any excuses about having a debt. Debt is another part of life. We all owe people that we could never truly pay back. Heck, one might think you don’t want the help the way you’ve gone on about it to me in the past.”

I had practiced for this and stated as confidently as I could, “No sir. I am very grateful for all you are doing. I’m very happy that you are helping me on my journey. If I could repay you now, I would. And if you think of anything I could do for you, let me know and I would do it. And I do mean anything.”

For a change, I had done something that shut Jack up. He sat there and chewed over what I had said. “I appreciate it, I really do. I, um, appreciate what you are saying, but I don’t think… Well, I’m not saying it isn’t tempting, because you are really quite beautiful, but I’m far too old to be doing that sort of thing with someone so young. I hope you understand.”

As he spoke, it puzzled me why he would be so uncomfortable as to why he wouldn’t want to accept my aid in anything. I mean, I would do what I could for him for the simple reason that it would keep him from being suspicious about what my intentions were about everything. It wasn’t like I wanted to really become a girl, but I wasn’t going to do anything to tell him the truth.

And then it hit me.

Oh hell.

I didn’t mean it that way.

Oh crap!

I started to cry all over again. I was so embarrassed about it all and there was no way I could recover what I had said. He actually thinks now that I would do …

I couldn’t look at him

“Tammy, please. It isn’t that I find you attractive. You are very attractive and I know that you’ll find a man that you will please and give great comfort to. I’m honored, but I’m just not that man.”

“I understand,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m going to go now, if that’s okay.”

“It’s okay. Please, take the rest of the day off. I’m very sorry.”

“Thank you… Excuse me please.” And I dashed out of the door as fast as I could, gathering up my purse and trying not to bawl in front of everyone. Alice was very concerned and tried to get me to settle down, but I couldn’t stop crying and after hugging her, I headed out the door as fast as I could.

Lisa held the forms requesting my name change to Tammy and looked at me. “What the hell is all this?”

“Jack did it,” I confessed. “Cookie?” I offered her one of the ones I had finished baking. My first ever attempt at baking cookies and I thought I had done rather well. It hadn’t been a very good day, so I thought I would try something to cheer myself up and cookies were always something I enjoyed, though we didn’t have any at our apartment. Every morning was a bit of a struggle for me to get up and get going. I couldn’t revert back to being the old Terry because Jack could still be watching. Monday had been a very hard day what with meeting Mrs. Taylor at the job bureau. I had to explain to her why I was dressed and looking like I was even though my driver’s license and everything record wise said ‘Male’. I also had to explain the whole Tammy and Terry thing again. After much embarrassment, we had gotten to where she was going over all my forms and entering my information into their system so that I could find another job as a woman. That’s one of the things that frightened me still. I couldn’t get away from it all.

This morning I had gone shopping so that I could get out of the house. Yesterday wasn’t so bad because Lisa had Wednesdays off, so we ended up spending a lot of time together and she told me all the things she had been hearing at the salon about the people and places in town. She had put out feelers for me as well to see what sort of jobs were out there, and what places to avoid going to.

“You’re going to change your name to Tammy?” she asked as she took the cookie.

“NO. Of course not. That would be stupid wouldn’t it. I mean, when all this is done that would give Jack yet another way to find and track me down, right? I’d have to change it back and everything.”

“Yah, you’re right. Still, it might make life easier for you right now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, think about it. If you do change your name to Tammy, then what is Jack going to think? He’s going to really see that you are trying to do all of this.”

“No Lisa! NO!”

“Think about it. Right now you’re getting by okay, but this would be the major thing that would convince him. After that, you’d be free of his scrutiny.”

“Yah, but I’d also be known as Tammy. Everywhere! Including my driver’s license. Everything would be as Tammy!”

“Well, you’re Tammy right now, aren’t you?”

“No! Damn it NO! I know you want me to keep it up so that I don’t slip up when I go out there, but NO! My name is Terry. I’m Terry, okay? I am not Tammy!”

I ran out of the kitchen and slammed the door to the bedroom, crumpling up on the bed and screamed into my pillow. I wasn’t Tammy. I wasn’t.

Well, I was, but I didn’t want to be Tammy. Did she not see how everything kept removing bits and pieces of me? I was losing Terry with everything that happened. I couldn’t be Tammy legally. It was like saying I was really dead and that Tammy was the real thing. I just couldn’t go through with that. I couldn’t.

And yet, I knew it made the most sense for me to do.

Stop the world, I want to get off!

I walked through the few people remaining who were trying to get into their seats. My personal assigned seat was right on the aisle, front row, so it was a little bit of a struggle to make it all the way there in time. Sitting down, I glanced to my right down the row of seats of people, some families with small children, like the rest of the audience, so it wasn’t too bad. Pretty normal I supposed. Unlike most of the audience, I was a member of the show and I had a role to play. I wasn’t too certain what my role was. Maybe I was a singer? Maybe I performed a speaking role or something? It seemed strange that I didn’t know what my part in this whole performance was going to be, but I found it to be far more important that I was in my seat and ready than what it was I was supposed to be doing.

The seat’s back scratched a little on my bare skin. For a change I wasn’t going as ‘Tammy’, but as my very welcomed male self. I maneuvered myself so that I wasn’t sitting square, but at an angle to the seat’s back to reduce my contact with it. That’s when I realized my pants were unzipped and not fastened, nor was my belt buckled. In fact may pants had fallen far down past my waist, exposing my black, shiny nylon panties. The lace details along the sides was fully exposed; as was the top part of my leg where the panties ended. These were not, as Lisa called them, grandma’s panties, but skimpy and sexy panties meant for an attractive young woman.

I couldn’t move much though, as the show had already started. The lights were still up, which was required for a show such as this, and I could tell that anyone on the other side of the aisle looking my way would be able to see my underwear quite well. I reached down and tugged at my pants to pull them up, but I wasn’t able to stand up or make much movement without attracting further attention. Plus I knew in my heart if I stood up, I’d flash everyone around me before I would be able to bring my pants fully up.

I looked behind me and I could tell someone had started to point my way…

“Tammy, when are you going to wake up?” Lisa nagged. “It’s afternoon already!”

I blinked a few times, still concerned with the people who were watching me struggle to hide my panties before I realized I wasn’t in the theatre anymore. I wasn’t sitting down. I was in bed. I wasn’t even wearing panties, nor anything else for that matter. It had been a fun night with Lisa and I wasn’t quite ready to get up.

I mumbled something to her. The intelligence of my reply didn’t make it through the mumble though, and she turned angrily away and left the room, slamming the door behind her.

I sighed deep into the pillow and waited for a bit, trying to store my energy up. I turned over after finally getting enough to do so and looked at the clock. Damn. It was late. I really needed to get up and get moving.

I laid there waiting for … I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to get up. I knew that once I did get up, I’d be able to move through the day, but inertia kept me from beginning that epic journey. But for now I was fine with laying there and watching the clock slowly change the digital display as the minutes went by.

It hasn’t been easy for me recently.

Kimberly got up and answered her door, “Hey Lisa, what’s up?”

“I need someone to complain to.” Lisa pushed past and hurriedly sat down on the couch.

She turned from the door and stared at her as she sat there. “Oooo-Kay. Tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s Terry. She’s being a real pain.”

“Terry? Not Tammy?”

“We’re not at my home so I can call her what I want.”

“Her?”

Lisa slammed her arms down on the couch, “Damn it Kimmie! You know what I mean.”

Sitting down, Kimberly ignored the outburst. “So tell me what’s going on.”

“Terry is … God, I don’t know where to begin.”

“Do you need a beer?”

“Hell Yes.”

Lisa was gone by the time I had gotten dressed. We weren’t having the best of times lately. I felt bad about it too, because it was all my fault. Every month I went and saw Dr. Willingham. Every month I also had to meet with my therapist. Every time I did I kept up the falsehoods they expected out of me. It had been four months worth since I had lost my job as Mr. Corwin’s secondary executive secretary.

Four months as things steadily got worse for me.

I was free, for the most part, of having to dress outwardly as a girl though. That was nice. Mostly nice that is. I wasn’t 100% free, which was the bad part about it all. So I couldn’t ditch everything like I wanted to. I still had to keep my hair in a relatively feminine cut. Since July, I had started to let it grow out again. I had hoped to achieve a little more masculine look by doing so, because with my last hairstyle, I looked like a woman no matter what I did. Bonnie though, had stopped supplying me with free services. I now had to pay for the pleasure of having her work with my hair every six weeks or so.

With my new cut, I could slick it back and get away with it. Not the ideal solution, but workable. I had been able to pass it off as ‘necessary’ to everyone out there involved in the whole ‘Tammy’ business because with my name as officially Terry and my sex, or gender as they tell me is the correct way to describe things, was thankfully still listed as ‘Male’, my search for employment would go better if I was able to apply as both ways. And I had. It took my seven weeks to find my current job. I went on the job hunt nearly daily all over town and even a few places close to town. Sometimes I went at Terry. Sometimes I went as Tammy. I went as whomever could get me a job.

Even though the world was supposed to be this enlightened, equal rights government ensured, and have unbiased people not only hiring you, but willing to help out a soul in need, I had found all that the world really was good at being was a hateful and phobic type of place.

When I did seem to get a good fit somewhere as Tammy, which were generally higher paying jobs than I could get as Terry, go figure that out, I couldn’t get into the door once they saw that ol’ M on the application. Even with Jack at times going to bat for me, it was always something along the lines of ‘not the best fit’ or ‘we would rather avoid the issues it might bring’.

Frankly I was happy as I could be for not working as ‘Tammy’. Except for one simple fact. With the right job Tammy could make a lot more money than Terry.

As Terry, I didn’t have any skills except my natural typing ability. I couldn’t even really use my employment history as ‘Tammy’ because they could try to verify and get the wrong person on the other end who would tell them that ‘Terry’ never worked there, but they had a ‘Tammy’ with the same last name. I might be paranoid, but I have had much of life going against me for the last year since my father left me. So to me perhaps being paranoid was warranted.

I finally pulled myself out of bed and dragged into the shower. I put myself on autopilot and started to get ready.

It was at last that I was able to find a job, and as Terry no less. It was hardly a decent job. The pay was terrible, barely allowing me to contribute my share of the rent and food. What was left over went towards keeping up my dual existence. A fact that hounded me often. The only real joy I had found since I had first become unemployed, was baking. When I first started baking, I wasn’t all that good. But I’ve gotten better. I also found that I could bake a dozen or so cookies and eat them all in the same day.

Lisa didn’t care for my new found baking passion. Frankly, I didn’t care if she didn’t like it. I enjoyed it. I deserved some sort of happiness. It was her fault in the first place that I was in this hell hole of a situation. So if she didn’t like it? I didn’t care.

I realized after I left the shower that I had shaved my legs and underarms again. I didn’t need to do that today. In fact, I wasn’t set to go job hunting as Tammy for another few days, so I certainly didn’t need to shave this soon. I looked at my face critically. I hadn’t had to shave my face much these days. Not that I had a lot to begin with, but now a days it seemed to take forever for something to come in. And I had to be careful if I did shave too. My skin seemed so much more tender than it used to be, thanks to all the lotions and creams I had to use. One thing was certain, my skin was a lot cleaner than it used to be. I hardly ever had any acne. I kept up on the demands of keeping my skin looking good.

Honestly it looked too good. With all the stuff I had been using, my skin looked like a girl sort of skin. My whole face was that way, more like a girl version of myself than boy version. Even without makeup. Frankly it caused me problems when I was in boy mode at times. But it was better in that it was even worse if I was in girl mode and didn’t look like a girl. I also didn’t like having to use a pound of foundation and other makeup to get by. So I guess it was middle ground.

Once out of the bathroom, I went to my drawers and pulled out some panties to wear. I didn’t really have briefs anymore, and I never like boxers. I had a laugh to myself when I saw I was wearing the same black panties that I had dreamed about earlier. Good thing I wasn’t going to be letting my pants down for anyone to see.

With white socks, my polyester pants, and my button down white shirt, I was ready to hit the door. If I hurried, I could get something to eat before my shift started, maybe a double bacon cheese burger with extra fries. I grabbed my heavy jacket, the most masculine one I had actually. I had picked it up at a salvation army store back in October. Plus I grabbed my uniform hat and apron. I almost took my purse before I realized what I was doing. I pulled my shoes out of the tote Lisa required me to keep them in, and put them on. They smelled like fast food. The grease I dealt with every shift had made them unusable anywhere else. They were my last pair of boy shoes too. Thus with everything in hand, I headed out.

“So tell me what Terry is doing that’s so wrong?” Kimberly put her empty can next to the others. “What has our wayward girl been doing? Did she steal your boyfriend or something?”

“That’s not funny. It isn’t easy you know, to have your boyfriend pretending to be a girl.”

“I can’t imagine. Especially since he’s doing it all to protect you.”

“Don’t go there!”

“So what is he doing that is so horrible?”

“Well, for one… he lays around all the time. He comes home from his shift and takes a shower and washes his clothes, then he either goes straight to bed or sits on the couch and watches TV or just… sits there.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“He does it all the time. I mean, it’s like today. He has to go to work, but he won’t get out of bed.”

“What, is he sick or just tired?”

“I thought he was tired at first. You know he works hard, he really does. But it’s like he doesn’t care about stuff. He doesn’t even seem to care about me.”

“Lisa, that boy loves you. I know that. I’ve seen it. The way he looks at you? Damn, he’s in head over heels.”

“That’s what he USED to do. I… I don’t think he loves me anymore.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, we used to do things together. Even after all this stuff happened, we’d hang out together and be silly. He would even let me do crazy shit to him because he liked having fun with me. Now he seems like a lump. All he does is eat and sleep. He eats all the time too. He makes cookies and cakes and eats them all by himself. I rarely have any of it. Yet he’s making it almost daily and then he eats it. I don’t always see him eat it, but whatever he makes seems to disappear the next time I look.”

“Sounds to me like Terry is in a rut.”

“A rut? What rut? He actually has to do things to be in a rut.”

“Okay, let me try something here. So he’s a guy, right?”

Lisa warily answered, “Yah.”

“A guy that is dressing like a girl nearly every hour of every day. Before he got this fast food job, he really did not get to dress or act like a guy at all, because you guys felt like you were being watched and maybe even bugged? Tell me, what would you feel like if you had to pretend to be a guy all the time?”

“I don’t see that as being a big deal.”

“You know, if you think about it, after a while you’d feel kind of down about it. You wouldn’t be able to do anything that you really liked doing, because you wouldn’t fit in anymore. You and I couldn’t hang out because you’d be a guy and as a girl I wouldn’t want to hang out with you all the time. Hell, no one would want to hit on me or ask me out on dates if I was always with some dude.”

“So you’re saying that he’s sad because he’s got to dress like a girl all the time?” Lisa asked, annoyed at where this was going.

“Pretty much. I don’t know if it is the dressing itself that is bothering him, but I would think that it does in some way. More to the point, he’s not able to do any guy things. He doesn’t really look like a guy most of the time. He can’t hang out with other guys. His only friend in the world is you and, I know this isn’t kind, but you only will treat him like a girl. You’re so scared that you two will be found out that you aren’t even letting him have a rest when you guys are in your apartment. He’s got to be a girl all the time. And how do you think Terry handles it when his girlfriend wants him to be a girl all the time? Treats you like a girl all the time? Calls you ‘Tammy’? Calls you ‘she’ or ‘her’ not only to him, but to everyone else? Like, talks to her best friend as if he was a girl… all the time. When we would go out together, he had to act like a girl around you. He couldn’t hold your hand or put his arm around you. He had to go along and do whatever you wanted him to do.”

Kimberly continued, snapping her fingers at the thought, “It’s like he’s stuck his head in the sand and is trying to make the world go away.”

Lisa sat back and moped, “So I’m the bad person in all of this?”

“No, I’m not saying you’re a bad person. I think that you’ve forgotten that he’s a man, your man actually. That he’s doing this for you. And himself now. He’s cut off from everything that used to define him as a guy. And you’ve gotten to where you accept him as a girl.”

“Maybe you’re right. But I can’t reverse that, not yet at least. He’s got to be a girl for everyone right now. It’s part of the whole mess!”

“Yah, I know. But what can you do to spend time with him? What sorts of things can you do together with him, even if he was in girl mode, that might make him feel a little better about things? Maybe something that would even be a little manly from time to time?”

“I don’t know. Honestly I can’t think of anything we used to do before all this happened that was really manly. He always seemed to have fun doing the things I liked to do, like going to clubs and hanging out together. I guess we could start there.”

“Terry! If you keep eating like this, you’re going to get even fatter!”

I had just dragged into the house after my Monday shift, my double cheese burger in hand. It had been another rotten day and I felt like eating, showering, and then going to bed.

“I’m not fat,” I grumbled. I put my food down and bent over to take off my shoes and put them in the tote.

“Oh yeah? You’re big enough in the butt. Your pants are stretching pretty tight.”

“If I was fat, it would be in the gut, not my rear.”

“Well, it’s definitely in your ass.”

“No, it’s these cheap pants. They’ve shrunk. Look at the length of them, they are shorter now than they were when I first got them. I guess I have to get new pants soon.”

“Why don’t we do that today? Let’s go out and get you some pants. And, you can go out as Terry since you’ll be shopping for some guy clothes.”

“I don’t have any money for new clothes.”

“My treat then. I can afford a few things.”

Lisa looked at me when I came out of the changing room. “So what’s the problem?”

“None of these pants fit. They are too big in either my waist or my rear.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I get them to fit my waist, they are too tight in my butt. If I get them to fit my butt, they are too loose in the waist. I don’t get it.”

“Here, lemme try something. Wait here, okay?”

“I can’t believe I’m having to wear girl’s pants now.”

“I told you. All those cookies and the cake and stuff you’re eating are making you fat.”

“They aren’t! If it was making me fat, they would be in my belly, not my ass.”

“Tammy… er, Terry, come here.” She had me stand in front of her, pulling my white work shirt out of my pants and lifting it up a little higher. Then she had me turn around and face the mirror as she held tight onto my shirt. “See?” she said, “Look there. You’re wearing girls pants and they fit you. Well, they’re not a great fit, but they are better than your regular pants. See, they fit your waist still and they’re only a little loose in the hips. Overall a much better fit than your old pants.”

“Oh shit.” Then it dawned on me, “The girdle and stuff I’ve got to wear whenever I’m not working. I bet it is, like, pushing my body down from my stomach to my bottom.”

“Do you think so? Really? That might be it, you know.”

“Yah. That’s probably it. Damn. Hey, how do I fit my wallet in here? These pockets are way too small.”

“So tell me again why the hell am I dressing like this?” Terry did his best sultry pose before Kimberly and Lisa as they were getting ready by the large mirror in the bedroom.

Lisa looked over and smiled. This was the most animated she had seen him in some time. Even though they weren’t able to let him go out as a guy, he still seemed pretty excited to be going out to the club. Kimmie was right, Terry did need a night out with her to do fun things.

Kimberly talked between brush strokes, “Because it looks cute on you. That and you are hoping to score with some hot girl named Lisa.”

Lisa had convinced him to dress up and go with them to the club. He hadn’t been to any clubs with her since before all this began, so he was looking forward to going, even if he couldn’t go like he wanted to. And he had dressed up too in something like he had seen someone else wear sometime ago. She hadn’t picked anything out for him, this was all his choice this time. And he had gone all out for her. He was even wearing something sexy for her to find later. Hopefully she would like it. She always seemed to get a kick out of dressing him up in over the top type stuff.

And tonight he was being sexy for her. He had on a pair of black, high heel booties with silver buckles and a little fringe. Tucked into the boots were his tight acid wash jeans with the little ankle zips he had borrowed from the back of her closet and a black, bulky sweater that had big puffy sleeves he had rolled up on his arms. The large neckline barely hung on his shoulders and showed the straps of what he was wearing underneath the sweater, a black tank top that was made of some sort of shiny and slippery fabric. And under all that was something for Lisa to find out later. Because of the way the sweater hung long on him, he had pulled it up slightly with a broad leather belt that also had a silver buckle. Plus he had on several silver rings, bangles, and some hoop earrings that were way larger than any he had worn before. Almost fully two inches in diameter! He had done his makeup too, with a little help from Kimberly on his eyes. He still couldn’t do his eyes as well as she could. The rest of him though, was all his own work. And he actually felt proud of it.

They had gotten off the dance floor and made their way to the bar to get some drinks. Kimberly was still dancing with a guy she had met, so Lisa followed Terry and she couldn’t keep her eyes off of his butt. It seemed to move more naturally than she had ever seen it before. All that fat that had been pushed down from his waist to his hips was giving him a jiggle and a wiggle he never had before.

Suddenly a thought occurred to her. “Terry?” she pulled upon her boyfriend and got in close to his ear so she could be heard. “You’re not wearing any padding?”

He grinned and laughed at her surprise. “Yes, I’m wearing padding. Just not down there!” he teased. He turned and accidentally left her still staring in confusion at his retreating form.

Lisa saw that Terry didn’t need any padding in his hips anymore. They were still a little small compared to a normal girl’s, but he had curves that filled in the jeans naturally. And they moved like a regular woman’s. And his front side… It was flat like a woman’s. She had seen this before plenty of times when Terry was getting dressed and had tucked in especially well because of a tight skirt or something, but seeing him now, like this…. Suddenly Terry looked completely different.

When Lisa looked upon him again, she didn’t see Terry as a man. She couldn’t help seeing her as a woman.