A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Chapter 1

'What shall we do about Denis?’

‘Where are you planning to take us for your hen night next week Jane?’ asked Susan as they both arrived at work and were taking off their coats and changing their shoes.

‘There's a club near Covent Garden that has a ‘girls only’ evening with a male strip show every Friday. That would be both convenient for everyone at work and would also suit several of my other friends. I thought I'd book a table there,’ she replied.

‘How many are you expecting to come?’

‘There'll be the five of us from work, and I've four other girl friends living in London, and then my sister of course.’

‘Is she younger or older than you?'

‘She's just twenty, she was born eighteen months after me. We share a flat together, that is until next week of course, as I’ll be moving in to Simon’s flat once we get back from the honeymoon,’ she said, taking her seat at her computer and waiting for it to boot up. She then changed the subject.

‘The only problem is I'm worried about what to do about Denis next week.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Whether I should ask him or not?’

‘It's supposed to be a 'hen night'; he won’t expect to be asked,’ answered Sue.

‘I know’, said Jane, ‘but he'll be the only one from the office who will be left out, and I don’t think he goes out very much.’

‘Yes he is rather shy, and has never mentioned having a girl friend, or indeed a boyfriend for that matter. It's a pity because he's such a helpful young man, and seeks to get on with us all,’ said Sue.

‘He's rather an ugly duckling,’ continued Jane.

‘He's not ugly, I like him and think he’s rather sweet.’

‘Alright he's not ugly, but is rather underdeveloped for his age. Most eighteen year old guys that I know are taller than me, have broad shoulders and deep voices. You may think he's sweet but I bet you don’t fancy him.’

‘No, he's too young and too short for my tastes, but I 'd be happy to have him as a kid brother.’

‘Me too, that is why I was wondering if we could invite him along to my hen night,’ continued Jane.

‘But I thought you said it was a 'girls only' night at the club?’

‘I was wondering whether we could disguise him as a girl and smuggle him in with us. What do you think?’ asked Jane.

‘I'm not sure,’ said Sue, intrigued by the idea. ‘We'd have to make a pretty convincing job of it otherwise he would be kicked out of the club and that would be worse than not inviting him in the first place.’

After a moment’s thought, Jane enlarged upon her idea.

‘His build isn't exactly macho is it and now I think about it, his looks are a little feminine. Helen could probably loan him some suitable clothes for the evening. Sarah does a great job with hair extensions, and perhaps you could give him a makeover.’

Sue tried to picture their colleague dressed as a young woman.

‘Jane, I think you're probably right. The main thing would be to make him look convincing without going over the top and make him look like a drag queen. But, but do you think he would agree to come out with us all dressed as a girl?’

‘I've no idea,’ answered Jane, ‘but if we all agree to help with the transition, and promise to look after him on the night, then we might be able to talk him into coming. At least then I'd have tried my best to include him in my hen night.’

‘Alright, he's not due in to work until this afternoon, let’s discuss it with the others over coffee. If they're agreeable we can draw up an action plan,’ said Sue.

---

Helen Armstrong’s wholesale clothing business had been set up by her twenty years earlier, and dealt with ladies’ fashions. It marketed a range of clothes to independent dress shops on behalf of several smaller fashion houses and manufacturers. She now employed five staff in addition to herself. These were Sarah and Mary, who were both in their early thirties, Jane and Sue, who were ten years younger, and Denis Simons, who was just eighteen. Helen had previously always recruited attractive well-dressed, and fashion conscious young ladies who would make the right impression on buyers and indeed occasionally might actually model the goods for her. However her plan had come adrift when she needed someone with well-developed computer-skills to help them automate the production of her catalogue and set up a web site. The only suitable candidate who would accept the salary she was offering was a gentle, slightly-built young man with a rather high-pitched voice. Despite his being so young and the office junior he soon proved himself to be popular because of his hard work and helpfulness, and because of his useful knowledge of how to automate some of the routine clerical and bookkeeping tasks.

Much of the talk in the office during the last few weeks had centred on Jane’s impending wedding in a fortnight’s time. She came from a wealthy family in the Midlands, but had no mother, and so was organising the wedding by herself, with the advice of her workmates and with the help of her younger sister. She was marrying a barrister who was a few years older than her and so money was no particular problem. Everything about the wedding had to be just right, however.

Jane raised the issue of their young male colleague during the coffee break later that morning.

‘Sue and I were considering whether there was something we might do to include Denis next Friday evening when I have my hen night,’ she announced to everyone in the office except her subject.

‘What do you suggest?’ asked Mary.

‘We were wondering if, between us, we could successfully disguise him as a young woman so that he could come along with us. I believe we've the necessary skills to do quite a good conversion job, if he were agreeable’.

‘I'd happily provide the necessary clothes,’ said Helen, ‘I feel guilty because he never gets any of the free samples. I asked him once if he had a girlfriend or a sister, but he said that he didn't have a girlfriend, rarely saw his sister and didn't know her dress size.’

‘I could even provide some medical silicone breast forms,’ said Jane. ‘I bought them a couple of years ago when my mother had breast cancer, but she died before she had a chance to wear them.’

‘We already have the necessary hair pieces and so I could easily extend his hair, if Helen doesn't mind my doing it at work,’ said Sarah.

‘That’ll be fine, I won’t mind since I owe you both some time.’

‘Would the same apply to my doing his make-up and manicure?’ asked Sue.

‘Yes, alright then, as it is for a special occasion,’ said Helen smiling.

‘Great that only leaves me to sort out some jewellery,’ said Mary. ‘I wonder if he'll let us pierce his ears?’

‘He hasn’t agreed to anything yet but it's now up to us to talk him into the idea,’ said Jane.

---

That afternoon Jane and Sue asked Denis to come and help them in the store room above the office, where they could put to him their proposition.

‘Denis, as you know, I'm planning to have my hen night next Friday, and as things stand, you'll be my only workmate who isn't there. I would really like you to come but there's a small problem.’

‘Don’t tell me … I'm the wrong sex!’ he said smiling.

Jane smiled in return.

‘As far as I'm concerned I'd be happy for you to be treated as an honorary woman for the evening, but the club where we're planning to go is open to women only on Friday nights.’

‘Don’t worry Jane,’ he said cheerfully, ‘I won't take it as a personal affront.’

‘Actually, we've been talking to the others, and between us we think that we could do a convincing job in transforming you into a young woman for the evening - if you're agreeable that is. We think that we'll at least do a good enough job to get you in through the front door. Thereafter it'll be up to you to ensure that you're not discovered.’

‘Oh!’ he said somewhat surprised by the proposition. ‘So what will be happening inside the club?’

‘I'll be reserving a table for group of my friends and workmates, and there will be all the usual things that happen during a hen night - drinking, dancing, and a floor show. You don't have to do anything that might attract attention to yourself. Half of those present will know your true sex, anyway so between us we'll be able to keep an eye on you. Your task will be to avoid raising the suspicions of the others.’

He thought for a moment, taking in what she had just said.

‘I've never done anything like that before. I don’t think I'd be able to get away with the deception​ in front of so many girls.’

‘We think youd be alright as long as you were willing to co-operate with us and do whatever you are told,’ she answered. ‘Between us at work we could do quite a professional job on your appearance and you already have a fairly high-pitched voice. It will be just a question of acting the part.'

He blushed.

‘What would I have to wear?’

‘Helen will find you something quite smart to wear, she's been anxious to give you some clothes for some time.’

He smiled, continuing to think through the implications, and Jane was relieved that he was not rejecting the plan out of hand.

‘If I agreed, when and where would I get changed?’

‘Helen has agreed that we can transform you at work on Friday afternoon,’ said Jane.

‘That's fine, but what about afterwards, there's no way that I could return to my flat in the early hours dressed as a woman?’

Jane hadn't thought through this aspect of her plan. If they were going to do the job of transforming him well then it would inevitably take him some time to change back into Denis afterwards and he'd also probably need some help. They wouldn't be able to come back to the office in the middle of the night. However, Sue now came to the rescue.

‘My flat mate will be going away for the weekend on Friday night. If you like you can come home with me and stay the night, and then we can both come into work first thing on Saturday morning to change you back into Denis.’

‘Wouldn’t it be simpler still if I were to change at your flat?’ he asked.

Sue thought for a moment before answering.

‘No I'm afraid not, we're going to need the facilities at work and the different skills of your colleagues to get you ready. You'll also need to leave Denis’s clothes in your locker. In any event, I'd prefer that my neighbours didn't think I had a young man staying with me overnight.’

‘Alright, but then I will have to traipse through London on Saturday morning wearing a glamorous party-dress,’ he said.

‘Okay then’, said Jane ‘I've an idea. Suppose we ask Helen to loan you two outfits; one suitable for the office, and the other for going out to the hen night. That way we can complete most of your transformation at work, and change you into a typical female office worker. If Sue is agreeable, you would then go home with her taking your party frock and both get ready and arrive at the hen night together. Afterwards you'll stay the night with Sue, changing back into your more sober office outfit on the Saturday morning until you get back to work and then change back into Denis. Would that suit you Sue?’

‘Yes, that would be fine by me, if Denis is agreeable’.

She turned to the subject of their conversation.

‘What do you think about Jane’s plan Denis?’

He hesitated before answering looking for some potential problem, but couldn't think of any reason why it would not work.

‘Please say yes Denis, I'd really like you to come and it would be great fun if we could get away with it,’ said Jane.

Denis thought about it for a while longer, and then smiled.

‘Alright then, I'll give it a go as long as you both promise to stay with me at the club.’

Jane gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

‘Thanks Denis I'm sure you'll look lovely, and you won't need to worry about someone trying to chat you up as it is all girls.’

The three of them went downstairs and after first checking with Helen that he could borrow two outfits, Sue announced the news to the others. Everyone in the office seemed genuinely pleased that he would now be going.

---

Jane was a natural organiser. She now saw it as her role to co-ordinate all the tasks involved in Denis’s transformation, and was negotiating with her workmates to sort out a schedule for the following Friday. Denis began to wonder what he'd let himself in for as she went through her list with him, but she brushed aside all his questions in a firm but friendly manner, implying that the matter was now settled and it was too late for him to back out. Clearly he would have little time to do any work on Friday, but this was not a problem since he was already owed several days from the previous leave year and so he arranged with Helen that he would treat the whole day as annual leave. Helen took his measurements and the following day came in to work carrying a suitcase containing two complete outfits for him to try on. These were a dark red silk dress which could be worn during the evening, and a dark blue skirt suit with white cotton blouse for travel to and from the office. Each outfit had matching shoes, and also a complete set of underwear. During the lunch break she asked him to try on the dress and the skirt and top in her office in front of herself and Mary. She helped him put them on and zip them up.

‘Have you ever worn a dress or skirt before Denis?’ she asked in a matter-of-fact way.

‘No, never, why should I?’ he answered, blushing a little.

‘No reason, I only wondered as you have a fairly slight figure for a guy and ought to look quite good wearing a dress. However, you'll need to be careful how you move if you're not going to give yourself away.’

He wasn't sure what to make of this comment and so stayed quiet whilst the two of them discussed how he looked.

‘The dress is a little low cut at the front and will show a bit of cleavage, we'll have to be careful how we fix the boobs,’ commented Mary. ‘Also he'll need a little padding around the hips, but otherwise they both seem to fit him fine and the colouring also suits him.’

‘He'll have to shave those legs and armpits,’ said Helen, ‘but with long hair some judicious use of make up, we should be able to turn him into a convincing and attractive young woman.’

Denis stood by feeling slightly bemused, as they discussed his appearance as if he wasn't there.

---

Once he'd changed back, nothing more was said about Friday’s project for the next two days but Denis was aware that plans were being made, and negotiations entered into, by his workmates. At last as the office was closing on Thursday afternoon, Jane and Sue approached him.

‘Denis, there are a couple of things we'd like to do this evening, so that your body has plenty of time to recover?’ said Sue.

‘What are they?’ he asked a little anxiously.

‘Firstly we have to remove the hair from your arms, legs and armpits, I doubt if you've done it before, would you like us to help you?’

‘Do you mean now?’ he asked.

‘Yes, it'll save us some time tomorrow morning, and it is just in case the depilatory cream makes your skin a little red, there'll be plenty of time for it to recover.’

‘What else?’ he asked.

‘Mary has got you some rather nice earrings for you to wear tomorrow, but we'll need to pierce your ears first. If we do it now and put in some plastic sleepers, then any soreness will have gone by tomorrow’.

‘Is it really necessary to go into such detail?’

‘Absolutely!’ said Jane decisively. ‘Tomorrow evening things must be right in every detail if you're not going to be discovered. So please don’t argue, just go into the shower room and to strip down to your underpants’.

There seemed to be no point in arguing so he did as he was instructed. Sue spread some white cream over those areas where he had unfeminine bodily hair, and he was told to keep still for twenty minutes. Jane then came in with a black felt-tip pen, a broad needle, and some ice cubes. She began by marking a point on each lobe and then proceeded to freeze each one in turn and pierce them. Next she inserted some two tiny plastic tubes in the holes and sprayed on some antiseptic.

‘I doubt if anyone will notice those tonight, and we can replace them with the earrings first thing tomorrow. The holes should heal up once you take out the earrings on Saturday’ she added.

By then Sue was ready to scrape off the cream, taking with it all traces of hair. Eventually Denis showered and his skin felt silky smooth. Once he put on his pants again Sue ran her fingers over his leg inspecting her work.

‘Many girls would love to have those legs Den…,’ she stopped without finishing her sentence. ‘We won’t be able to call you Denis tomorrow, have you thought of a suitable name for yourself?’

He thought for a moment.

‘I suppose the obvious one would be Denise,’ he said. ‘How about Denise Anne? That way I get to keep the same initials and would be able to use my ATM card without attracting any attention.’

‘OK then Denis, make sure that you arrive at work bright and early tomorrow so that we can begin to transform you into Denise.’

He went home from work that evening wondering what adventure the following day would bring.

(Next time - Denis finds that there is more to being a girl than he had previously imagined.)

One of his colleagues did not want
to exclude him from her 'Hen Night',
but now Denis finds that there is more to being a girl
than he had previously imagined

Denise discovers one secret but is worried in case her friends should give away another

After a successful ‘girls night out’ with her colleagues
Denise now discovers she has a problem,
but Sue’s flatmate suggests an answer

Denise enjoys her weekend with Sue and Alison
and even manages to complete another assignment,
whilst Jane discovers some disastrous news

Denise discovers she must make amends
if she is going to retain Samantha’s friendship

Denise and Samantha perform the traditional bridesmaids’ role
of helping the bride to get ready

(Next week - Denise’s triumph and disappointment)

Jane’s big day, and Denise’s triumph, but then what?

Denise feels that she must now revert to living as a young man,
but can things ever be quite the same again?

Denis feels isolated at work
but has a conversation with one of his housemates
which affects both of their lives

Denise acquires a new wardrobe and is
soon presented with several opportunities of showing it off

After a busy weekend in which she considers her future,
Denise is offered some new living accommodation,
but is not sure whether to accept

Our hero (or should it be heroine?) is asked to do a job,
and realises that the time has come to decide for the future

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 2 Chapter 6

The test shoot

It was mid-June and summer had really arrived with a spell of hot weather on Wednesday morning. Samantha was wearing a lemon yellow summer dress and white high heeled sandals and a matching bag, as she waited in the office. Denise, who had again spent the night at her own bedsit, arrived wearing a light blue suit with a pink blouse, which looked smart enough but was not ideal for such hot weather. Sue was dressed in light-weight black trousers with a light cotton top.

‘Hello Denise, I didn't expect to see you again so soon but am always pleased to do so,’ said Samantha, kissing her friend on the cheek.

She then turned to Sue.

‘My sister told me to report to you this morning, Sue. What would you like us to do?’

‘Would you both mind waiting by my desk for a few moments whilst I make some last minute arrangements?’ she answered and left them together.

Denise smiled at her friend, ‘That is wonderful news about your sister.’

‘Yes, I'm very happy for her, although I'm not sure that I'm quite ready to face being an aunt,’ she replied laughing. ‘But, it'll also be good news for us if it results in our getting a modelling job for the summer.’

‘I'd no idea that they were considering us for three months of work, until Jane mentioned it to me late yesterday. I was given to understand that we were wanted to fill in for a day or two until Jane stopped feeling sick,’ said Denise.

‘Maybe they didn’t realise that Jane would be throwing up every morning when they spoke to you, or, more likely, they wanted you to get used to the idea gently,’ said Samantha.

A few minutes later Sue invited them to come through to the new temporary photographic studio which she had created by clearing an upstairs storeroom, hanging some cloth backdrops, and installing some lights.

‘What we're hoping to do today is to take series of trial shots of you, both individually and together, and wearing a number of different outfits. We want to be able to judge how you will look under photographic lighting and whether you can pose effectively. Also, we need to know what colours and styles suit you best. Above all, we need to get an idea of how long the process will take.’

‘And assuming all goes well, then what?’ asked Samantha.

‘That will be up to Helen to decide, once she has seen the test shots. I believe she will be anxious to begin photographing the entire collection as soon as possible.’

‘OK Sue, what would you like us to do first?’ asked Denise

‘Take off your top clothes and hang them on the rail in the corner please. I will show you how to fix your makeup. It will be useful to me if you were able to help one another in this respect.’

‘I am sure we can do so, we are good friends,’ said Samantha.

Sue seems to be assuming that we will both be working together for some time,' Denise thought to herself.

Sue proceeded to show them both how to make up each other’s faces to suit the requirements of the studio lighting.

As soon as they were ready Denise and Samantha were each asked to change into a series of pre-planned outfits and pose in such a way as to show off the clothes or accessories. At first Sue had to explain in detail to each of them what she was looking for in terms of the position of the body and the facial expression, but as the morning wore on the two novice models increasingly came to learn what was expected and would get in to position and respond to Sue’s requests for different facial expressions with the minimum of guidance. Denise enjoyed trying on the different clothes and could see how Sue had carefully chosen the various accessories to co-ordinate with what she was wearing. She felt that she would learn a lot if she were to be offered the job. The work was also fun to do, but proved to be surprisingly tiring and both the models were relieved when Sue decided to break for lunch at 1.00pm.

‘Alright ladies, you can put on your own clothes again now as I need to download the photographs I've taken. I’ll see you both back here at 2.00 pm sharp please.’

‘Won’t you be having some lunch?’ asked Denise, hoping she might get some feedback on how it had gone.

‘Not today, I'll have a coffee and a sandwich at my desk.

‘In that case Denise, let us go and get a coffee and a sandwich next door’ said Samantha.

‘Won’t we look a little odd wearing all this makeup in the middle of the day?’ said Denise

‘Not really, perhaps we both look a little bit over made up, but nobody is going to say anything,’ she replied.

‘Alright then but I will stick to a salad as I'll have to watch my waistline in future if I'm going to be able to wear some of those dresses’ said Denise.

After ordering their food the pair sat down and began to compare notes about the morning.

‘So, what do you think?’ asked Samantha.

‘Do you mean, “what do I think of the work”? or, “how did we get on”?’ Denise replied.

‘Both.’

‘I enjoyed the work, or at least I began to do so once I understood what was required of us. I also suspect we did alright for a couple of amateurs, but whether or not they will make good enough pictures is another matter.’

‘Yes, I agree, and it was such good fun trying on all of the clothes,’ said Samantha, excitedly. ‘I've wanted to work in the fashion industry, ever since Jane told me about her job.’

‘Yes I remember you telling me the first time we met,’ answered Denise.

‘Those photographs that Sue took of us at Jane’s wedding were really very good, at least as good as the ones taken by the professional photographer, and I don’t think they would have offered us this trial if they did not consider us to be sufficiently photogenic.’

‘In that case let us hope you are right.’

‘So, Denise, what will you say if they offer us the job?’

She thought for a moment before answering.

‘It depends on whether your offer of accommodation is still open. I could not accept it if I had to keep changing back into Denis before going home each night and into Denise again the next morning.’

‘But on Sunday you said you were not prepared to live as Denise full-time,’ said Samantha.

‘I know, but I've been thinking about the future a lot over the last couple of days. I've now spent two extended periods as Denise and enjoyed every moment of it on both occasions. I'm getting more confident all the time and my friends and workmates also seem to be happy with me as Denise.’

‘Yes, Jane has commented as much to me,’ replied Samantha.

‘I've thought about the possibility of spending my weekdays as Denise but I don’t think my landlady would be happy if I changed my sex every Monday morning and back again every Friday evening for the next three months, and in any event, what would be the point? So, if we are offered three months of work and you are still willing to have me as a flatmate, then I would like to accept your offer,’ she said smiling.

‘Denise, I would so love to have you as a flatmate,’ said Samantha, touching her hand, ‘but you must realise that I was being serious about my stipulation. If you come and live with me, you do so as Denise full-time. Denis’s clothes must be stored elsewhere. That is non-negotiable.’

‘I realise that,’ answered Denise.

‘I would expect you to embrace being a girl in everything you do and say, and even in your choice of reading matter, and the films you watch,’ said Samantha.

‘So you want me to trade in my blue toothbrush for a pink one?’ said Denise smiling.

‘Yes, that's right. I want to live with someone who enjoys being a girl and is happy to discuss clothes, makeup and her boyfriends with me.’

‘I should be in a position to satisfy you on the first two criteria after I have gained a little more experience, but as to the third I'll make no promises,’ said Denise.

‘Alright then, two out of three will do for now, especially as I don’t have a boyfriend myself at present. We'll have to work on the third .’

‘In that case, if we're offered the work, I should like to move in to Jane’s room, for the weekly rent that we've discussed,’ said Denise.

‘Alright, but before you do so you will have to find somewhere else to store Denis’s belongings until you have need of them again,’ said Samantha.

‘We may of course be jumping the gun and there may not be any offer of work. Let's see what they decide to do at the end of today and, if necessary, I'll make arrangements to move,’ said Denise.

‘I'll keep my fingers crossed for us both’ said Samantha.

‘So will I,’ said Denise.

---

‘How were the shots from this morning?’ asked Samantha as they returned from lunch.

‘As far as I am concerned they were mostly successful but it will be up to Helen to decide whether they're good enough to put up on the new web site,’ answered Sue.

The photo shoot continued for a further two hours in the afternoon but this time they were able to make more progress. At last Sue declared herself satisfied with what they had achieved and invited the two models to change back into their own clothes. Between them they had modelled more than twenty different outfits, with a dozen or more shots taken of each one.

‘Samantha, I'm afraid that Helen isn't back yet, and so we'll have to telephone you at home this evening if we would like you to come in next week. In the meanwhile we've arranged to pay a fee and your expenses for today’s work,’ said Sue.

‘What are you planning to do now Denise?’ asked Samantha.

‘I will now have to change back so that I can go home tonight, as my landlady will be arriving home any time now. I should also warn you that I'll be Denis at work tomorrow, but I will do my best to ensure that we do not meet.’

‘In that case I'd best leave you now, but I'll keep my fingers crossed for us both,’ she said.

‘Good luck,’ said Denise as she kissed her friend on the cheek.

‘You too,’ whispered Samantha.

---

Helen arrived to have a look at the results at about 5.00 pm, whilst Denise was busy changing herself back into Denis. Sue had downloaded all the pictures, selected and edited a few dozen of the best ones and inserted them into an electronic album. She then projected them on to a screen in Helen’s office.

‘What do you think?’ she asked her employer.

‘These are very good indeed, especially those of Denise, which are quite remarkable given what we know about her origins.’

‘Yes she looks totally female, even close up, although we may need to pull in her waist a little for some of the shots and give her a little more padding around the hips. Her facial expression is good though. In fact she seems to have a natural flair for the work.’

‘How about Samantha?’ asked Helen.

‘Her body shape is better but she's more self-conscious, although I suspect that will disappear with a little more practice. In my opinion both of them look like professional models,’ said Sue.

‘On the basis of your experience today, how much is it likely to cost the business and how long will the process take, if we go ahead with the plan to enhance the website?’ said Helen.

‘I estimate that if you used me as a the photographer and employed those two, rather than professional models, we could complete the job and mount the catalogue for about thirty thousand pounds over a period of 3-4 months. That is assuming that you employ Samantha for three months and will also pay both Denis/Denise and myself a 7% bonus on top of our current salaries.’

‘Will they both be available for that period?’

‘If we were to start work on Monday you will have three months before Samantha needs to go back to university in mid September. Denise is already on your staff, although she may ask for some leave during the summer. If necessary we can ensure that all of Samantha’s solo shots and the shots of the two of them together are completed first and then finish off using Denise alone afterwards.’

‘The next question is whether Denis will be prepared to work as a woman for such an extended period?’

‘I get the impression he's coming round to the idea and would be quite enthusiastic about the prospect, but you'll have to verify this with him first. It would be disastrous if either of them pulled out half way through. I suppose you could always make the payment of his bonus dependent upon his completing a minimum of three months.’

‘Alright then, let us have a word with them both.’

---

Denis was just about to leave work, with a bag containing the clothes and wig worn by Denise that day, when Helen asked him to come up to her office. Sue was already there.

‘Tell me what you think of these Denis?’ she asked him, projecting a slideshow of pictures of Denise onto her office wall.

‘She looks very attractive, I could almost fancy her myself,’ he said laughing.

‘Sue thinks that I should offer her a job as a model, what do you think Denis?’

‘I agree with Sue, in fact I believe that you found yourself two very good models today,’ he replied.

‘Maybe so, but before I make any offer I need to be sure that I can rely upon her,’ she said.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I need to know whether you are likely to get fed up with changing into Denise every morning and will want to give up after a few weeks?’ she said seriously.

He thought for a moment.

‘Yes, it would soon become intolerable if I had to change from Denis into Denise every morning before going to work and back again afterwards. Even spending the whole week as Denise would be a pain. However, if you do offer me the work, it is my intention to remain living as Denise full-time until the job is finished’ he answered.

‘Are you sure about that? You do you realise that the work may take at least three months to complete.’

‘Yes I know,’ he replied. ‘I've given the matter quite a lot of thought over the last few days. I'd be willing to live as Denise for a sustained period of time, so long as I have a job to go to and somewhere to live.’

‘I am not saying that you will not be able to take an occasional day’s leave but I would not want you to take an extended period away.’

‘Don’t worry, I've no holiday booked and no plans for the summer,’ he answered.

‘We may also need you to spend some time fulfilling your existing duties to help mount the web site, during that period.’

‘So long as you pay me, I will do whatever you want’ he answered.

‘So what will you do about your living accommodation if you were living as a woman? I was under the impression that was the main stumbling block.’

‘Samantha has offered to let me rent Jane’s old bedroom in her flat, it will be vacant from Saturday.’

‘What about the weekends?’ asked Helen.

Denis shrugged, ‘I guess I’ll spend some time catching up with my everyday chores and also I will have to learn how to amuse myself as a young woman,’ he answered.

Sue joined in the conversation at this point.

‘It would make life a lot easier from my point of view, because we could get started almost as soon as you arrived at work. Also, if you were willing to live full-time as Denise, there would be no reason why we should not attach extensions to your hair once again and make a more permanent job with your finger nails. We could likewise attach your breast forms and the padding of your hips a little more securely’ she added.

‘As long as these appendages look fairly natural and I'm able to remove them at the end of my period of employment without too much pain, I won't object’ answered Denis.

‘In that case I'm happy to offer you a job as a model. It will be for thirteen weeks in the first instance. I will continue to pay your existing monthly salary plus 5%, but upon successful completion of the whole period I will also pay you a bonus of £1,000.’

‘Thank you, that is very generous. I'll be happy to accept your offer.’

Helen and Sue both gave him a hug.

‘Will you also be employing Samantha?’ asked Denis.

‘Yes, I'll telephone her this evening to make arrangements. We'd like you both to start work on Monday morning. Is there any way that we could sort out your hair and appendages before then?’

‘I'll need to talk to my landlady this evening and then arrange to move in with Samantha. I'll let you know the arrangements tomorrow. Oh, there is one other thing though, when I do move in to my new flat, may I store Denis’s clothes in one of the store rooms at work as Samantha refuses to let me keep them in her house?’

‘Yes of course, I'll be happy to store them for you,’ said Helen, ‘so long as I keep them under lock and key.’

Denise goes out for a last drink with Angela
and gets ready to leave home,
but then Helen drops a bombshell.

Denise has three days in which to prepare for her new life.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 1

A new job, and an invitation to lunch

Sunday 20th June was the last day of spring. The following day would be the beginning of summer; the day on which Denise and Samantha were due to embark upon their new job.

Denise was the first to wake in the house on the Sunday morning. There were no sounds coming from the other bedroom, so she took a shower and thought about getting dressed. By now, she'd lost most of her self-consciousness and had gained in confidence, particularly when she was with Samantha, and so put on the jeans she'd worn the previous day, together with a plain pink cotton blouse. She quickly styled her hair and put on a little makeup and a pair of earrings, without giving it a great deal more thought than most other women would. There was still no sign of her flatmate at nine a.m., so she put on the coffee pot, made herself some toast and started to read one of Samantha’s fashion magazines. She planned to spend the day quietly, getting used to her new surroundings, and to her new way of life. She had stayed in the flat for a few days prior to Jane’s wedding and so knew her way around and where Samantha kept most things, but she felt that she needed some time to settle in and to get used to the idea of living as a woman full-time.

‘Good morning Denise, did you sleep alright?’ asked Samantha, when she eventually emerged from her room at about ten o’clock.

‘Yes thanks, that double bed is really comfortable, even if the colour scheme and furnishings are rather girly for my taste.’

‘I'm afraid it's your taste that's going to have to change, my dear. “Girly” is exactly what you need at present. You'll just have to forget about your unfeminine former self,' said Samantha.

‘Yes, I suppose so, I'll do my best,’ answered Denise smiling.

‘I'll be on the lookout for any lingering traces of masculinity so we can root them out,’ added her friend smiling mischievously.

‘Remember that it's only a month since I put on a dress for the first time, and already here I am reading one of your fashion magazines.’

‘Good girl,’ she answered, smiling.

Denise smiled and continued reading.

‘Have you finished sorting out your room yet?’ asked Samantha.

‘I'm almost done. There are just a few things left for me to unpack and put away, and then I'll stow my suitcases in your loft.

‘In that case, as soon as you're finished unpacking why don’t we go out for lunch together?’ she asked.

‘I was intending to take things easy today and not do very much.

‘That’s ok, I was only planning to go round the corner to Shepherd’s Bush Green; there would be no need for you to get dressed up especially.’

‘Alright then, I suppose going out for lunch should be alright.’

---

Over lunch they made various arrangements as to how they would live together. They drew up a rota for the cleaning duties and decided which expenses would be shared. Samantha was by nature a clean and tidy person, and so Denise expressed her determination to be a good tenant and to play her full part in the housework. As a rule, Saturday mornings would be devoted to keeping the house clean and tidy, although the arrangement could be flexible if either of them was invited out or went away for the weekend. Afterwards they went to a supermarket, and Denise offered to cook them both an evening meal.

Both girls washed their hair after dinner and helped one another to put it in rollers. They then gave one another facials and manicured their nails ready for work the following morning.

‘How are your ear piercings?’ asked Samantha.

‘The original ones are fine now, I can put in and takeout earrings without any trouble. The studs are a little sore and are still healing, so I'll only remove them if Sue asks me to.’

‘They aren't very noticeable, I shouldn’t think they'll be a problem tomorrow. Have you decided what to wear for work?’.

‘No, not yet. Sue suggested that we should wear something fairly simple to the office, and not to go too heavy on the makeup as she wants to begin with a fresh canvas,’ said Denise. ‘But I don’t want to travel in to work tomorrow morning looking like a bloke.’

‘I don’t think you need to worry about that my dear. I've never seen you dressed as a guy, but I can’t imagine that you ever made a very convincing one. Now that you have your boobs, long hair, lacquered finger nails and a girl’s voice nobody could possibly mistake you, even if you were wearing Denis’s old clothes,’ said Samantha.

‘Thanks for the re-assurance about my appearance, but what makes you think I have done anything to change my voice?’

‘Oh sorry! I've never met Denis and so I just assumed that he had a deeper voice.’

‘No, it has always been like this. Puberty never really seemed to have as profound an effect on me as other boys.’

‘Well that explains why you are now able to present as such an attractive young woman,’ said Samantha.

‘You certainly know how to boost Denise’s confidence, but I'm not so sure about Denis’s.’

‘I'm not concerned about Denis; it is Denise that is my friend.’

---

The first day in their new job arrived and by the end of the afternoon all concerned felt that things had gone pretty well. The two new models travelled in together on the train and then a bus, arriving in good time to get ready for the shoot. Sue supervised their makeup, but she quickly found that they understood what was required and could help one another. Helen and Sue had also done a lot of pre-planning as to what outfits and co-ordinating accessories would be photographed and in what order, so everything was waiting for them to change into. Sarah and Mary helped them to get changed and returned everything to the stores afterwards. As soon as each outfit was done, Sue would pass on the memory card from her camera to Helen, who would download the images onto a computer and, together with Jane, would choose which ones were to be used. Jane would then crop or adjust them as necessary. In the meanwhile Denise and Samantha would get changed into the next outfit and get themselves ready, whilst Sue prepared for each series of shots.

The team made so much progress that by 3.15 pm they had photographed all of the clothes scheduled for that day, and the models were able to change back into their own clothes. Samantha joined Sarah and Mary to help them to prepare for the next day, whilst Denise was asked to help Helen to upload the images to the new website.

‘These photos are very good, highlighting the clothes as opposed to the models. Sue is a talented photographer,’ commented Denise as she checked through them.

‘The models are good as well; attractive to look at without distracting from the clothes,’ said Helen, clearly very pleased with the way things had gone during the first day.

Denise smiled and they both continued with their respective jobs.

---

Over the next few days the office worked out a routine to enable the rapid photographing of the collections and gradually adding them to a web-based database, whilst also keeping up with the normal day to day work. Typically, it involved about four hours of intensive photographic modelling by Denise and Samantha, followed by a late lunch and then about three hours of performing other tasks in the afternoons. They soon got the hang of what sorts of clothes they needed to wear into work and how much makeup to put on in the morning, so as not to impede their work. Both of the new girls fitted in well with their older colleagues who in turn accepted them into the team and invited them to join in with their conversations whenever they were available. It was almost as if there never had been a young man working for the company.

By the end of each working day both models found themselves to be quite tired and so after sharing an evening meal both was happy to stay in, reading, writing letters or emails or else watching television.

---

After they finished the photographic session on Friday Helen asked each of her two models in to her office for a chat.

‘Sue and I have been very pleased with the way things have worked out over the last week, Denise. We've made very good progress, and if we can keep it up then we should easily have the new web site operating by the end of August. You and Samantha seem to work well together.’

‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘In fact everyone seems to work well together. I've really enjoyed the job.’

‘How are you finding your new accommodation?’

‘So far it has been fine, the room is really comfortable. Samantha and I will have to learn to get used to one another, but there have been no problems so far,’ said Denise.

‘So are there any regrets regarding Denis?’ asked Helen.

‘None as yet, but even if there were, I'm sure we could work things out. Believe me, I'm committed to Denise for the next three months, so you don't need to worry’ she replied.

‘Good, I'm so glad you can offer me that re-assurance.’

Ten minutes later Samantha emerged from the same office having given an equally positive assessment of the situation.

---

Denise and Samantha continued to get on well with one another, both at home and at work. Denise ensured that she did her share of the housework and was a considerate flat mate by clearing up after herself whenever she used the kitchen or the bathroom. She also paid her rent in advance and made sure that she contributed half towards all of the expenses they incurred. As previously arranged, the Saturday morning was largely devoted to housework, and the afternoon to shopping, both for the week’s supplies but also for cosmetics.

Samantha, was not too heavy-handed with her attempts at moulding the character of her new flatmate, although she did occasionally point to some unladylike mannerism or turn of phrase. As an English literature student, she was horrified to find her new friend had never read Jane Austen, and so loaned her copies together with a list of other novels to read and films to see, in order to enhance her feminine education. Denise took it all in good part and always enjoyed her friend’s company. However she also wanted to preserve some privacy and independence. Thus when Samantha was invited out clubbing on the Saturday evening with a group of friends from her University, Denise declined to join them, although invited. She preferred to stay in and to write to her friend in Singapore.

‘I'm bound to be back late and so will probably sleep through next morning, but if you like we could have a late lunch together tomorrow,’ suggested Samantha.

‘Alright, I'll check on you at noon tomorrow to make sure you're awake’

---

The following morning Denise brought a cup of coffee to Samantha’s bedroom at midday and the latter was just recounting her experiences the previous night when her mobile rang. She looked at the display and took the call.

‘Hi John, it is nice to hear from you? What can I do for you today?’

She listened for a while, and then responded.

‘We were planning to go out to Shepherd’s Bush Green for lunch in about an hour, but I should think that will be alright. Let me just check with Denise.’

She held down the privacy button so that he could not hear and turned to her companion.

‘It is my cousin John, he's in London and took Jane and Simon a housewarming present yesterday and ended up staying the night with them. Now he's offering to take us both out for lunch before he drives back to Birmingham this afternoon. What do you think? Shall we accept his offer?’

‘I can’t very well say no now that you have just told him that it'll probably be alright, can I?’ said Denise.

‘Just what I thought,’ answered her friend mischievously, before speaking into the receiver again.

‘Yes John, Denise would love to have lunch with you,’ she said.

Denise blushed and decided that perhaps she ought to go and change into something a little more attractive and put on some more makeup.

Forty-five minutes later the doorbell of their flat rang. Samantha asked her friend to answer, claiming that she was still getting ready. John stood at the door carrying a large bunch of flowers.

‘Hi Denise, these are for you, to help brighten up your new room.’

Denise blushed and then thanked him.

‘So where are my flowers then?’ asked Samantha, in a jokey voice as she emerged from her room.

‘You haven’t just moved house,’ he said, by way of explanation.

‘And you don’t fancy me as much as my new housemate,’ she answered.

This time he blushed.

‘Stop teasing him,’ said Denise. ‘There are more than enough flowers here for both of our rooms.’

They divided the flowers into a pair of vases, before going out to a nearby restaurant for lunch.

‘So what brings you down to London, John?’ asked Samantha.

‘I had an interview on Friday and have been offered a job in the city. I'll be moving down here myself in a few weeks,’ he said.

‘That'll be nice; you'll be able to take us both out after work sometimes,’ she added.

Denise looked disapprovingly at her friend, but John couldn't see her expression from where he was sitting.

‘What's your new job?’ asked Denise.

‘I'm a financial analyst,’ he replied

‘So coming to London will make you much better off,’ commented Samantha.

‘Only a little bit better off to begin with, but if I perform well I 'll be due for a good bonus at the end of the year.

‘Where will you be living?’ Samantha asked him.

‘Jane and Simon have offered to let me stay for a week or two in their spare room until I can find something suitable,’ he said.

‘Don’t leave it too long before you find somewhere or else you’ll be sharing the room with their new baby.’

‘I know, but even with my new salary most flats are too expensive. I'll need to find someone to share with.’

‘I am afraid you're too late, I have captured Denise as a flatmate.’

Both John and Denise blushed at the suggestion, and he muttered something about looking for a guy to share with. Samantha got up from the table and excused herself. Denise looked up in surprise.

‘Where are you going?’ she asked.

‘I just need to pop outside for a few minutes, I promised to make an important telephone call. I'm sure you won’t mind entertaining my cousin for me for five minutes, Denise?’

She didn't wait for an answer.

There was an awkward silence for a minute with each one wondering what to say.

‘I was surprised when I heard that you'd moved in with Samantha, I rather got the impression from you that the story of Denise was coming to an end once the wedding was over,’ he said.

‘Yes, I know, and I'm sorry if I misled you,’ she answered. ‘When I last saw you I genuinely thought that was what was going to happen. However, events rather overtook my earlier plans. Your cousin’s pregnancy has meant that Samantha and I have been offered jobs as models and so it looks as if Denise will be staying with her for the next three months.’

‘Yes, Jane told me, and I'm glad,’ he said.

She blushed but didn't answer, and once again there was an awkward silence.

‘You know Denise I really enjoyed your company during Jane’s wedding reception,’ he said.

‘I had a good time too,’ she answered smiling ruefully.

‘In that case, perhaps we could go out together sometime?’ he asked tentatively.

Denise sighed.

‘I don’t know John. I like you a lot, but I'm still pretty confused about things.’

‘Yes, but if we went out together it might be one way of sorting out your confusion,’ he said, tentatively touching her hand.

She waited for a few seconds before moving her hand away from his.

‘When do you start working in London?’ she asked.

‘In three weeks time,’ he answered.

‘Please will you give me those three weeks to try and decide what I'm going to do?’ she asked. ‘I promise to make up my mind by then.’

‘Alright, but if you don't want to go out with me I'd prefer if you told me outright rather than just put me off.’

‘It is not that I don’t want to go out with you but ….’. Her voice trailed off without completing the sentence.

‘But what?’ he asked.

‘Please allow me those three weeks to make up my mind,’ she said, briefly touching his hand again with her own.

‘May I phone you in the meanwhile, just for a chat?’

‘I suppose so, as long as it is just for a chat and you don’t try to pressurize me,’ she answered.

‘No, of course I won’t,’ he replied.

‘In that case you had better take my mobile number.’

He was just entering her number into his phone when Samantha returned, she didn't say anything but looked quite pleased with herself.

John called over the waiter and paid the bill.

‘Ladies, I'm afraid that I must leave you now as I have to drive back to Birmingham. Would you like me to take you back to your flat?’

‘No thanks, it is only a short walk,’ said Denise without even consulting Samantha.

‘In that case, it was nice to see you both, and I hope to see you again fairly soon.’

With that he kissed them both on the cheek and left.

---

‘Well?’ said Samantha as they slowly walked home

‘Well, what?’ answered Denise.

‘Well, what happened?’

‘You deliberately dropped me in it, and then left me to fend for myself with your cousin, that’s what happened,’ said Denise with mock anger.

‘It was quite clear to me that he wasn't going to ask you out whilst I was there,’ said Samantha.

‘You didn't check with me first to see whether I was ready to go out with anyone yet.’

‘Of course not, you'd probably have said no. Whereas I am here to encourage you,’ said Samantha.

‘Alright, but please do not push things too fast,’ said Denise.

‘Sorry,’ said Samantha, ‘But since you gave him your telephone number, you must be planning to see him once again.’

‘He is your cousin and will be staying with your sister, I suppose it's quite likely that I'll see him again,’ said Denise.

‘But are you going to go out with him Denise?’

‘I'm not sure - I am still thinking about it,’ she answered smiling.

‘Alright, but don’t think about it for too long, he won’t wait for ever for you to decide.’

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 2

An unexpected arrival

Helen’s employees did not make quite so much progress with the photography during the second week, as they did during the first, but they were still able to keep to the schedule. Sue fitted into her new role of photographer well and dealt with the work and her two models in a professional and efficient way which produced excellent results. Yet she found that any one of a number of different factors beyond her control might upset her schedule, and at times both the models found themselves helping with other tasks necessary. Denise, in particular, was often called upon to help prepare the electronic images, and mount the files on the website, whilst Samantha helped Sarah and Mary with the logistical tasks of locating the various outfits ready for the next day, or else replacing them afterwards.

Denise continued to get on well with Samantha, especially at work. She discovered that at home her new friend could be thoughtful and affectionate, but also, on occasions, self-centred and infuriating. She was growing in confidence each day and slightly resented being treated as her friend’s pet summer project. She wanted, if possible, to broaden her circle of friends and not be reliant on Samantha’s company all the time. She realised that she was being gently pushed in the direction of a friendship with John, and had not ruled out the idea, but wanted to make her own decision in her own time. Thus, when she had a call from Alison on the Wednesday, asking whether she would like to go out shopping on the coming Saturday afternoon, she was happy to accept.

John rang twice during the first two days. On each occasion Samantha was within earshot and Denise did not want her flatmate to have a running commentary on any developing friendship; so each time she sent him a busy signal. However, on the second occasion, she took pity on her would-be suitor, and disappeared to the toilet, where she sent him a text message.

Sori 2 bloc yr calls — timing bad! Wed. 9.00pm+ good time for chat ;— D

She was not sure how he would react to her suggestion, but at least she had not given him the brush-off. The date and time were chosen because she knew that Samantha would be out with her university friends once again. As before, Denise had been invited, and even urged, to go along but she declined, preferring to stay home and catch up with her laundry and other chores.

Sure enough, John rang at the suggested time on Wednesday. They had a friendly chat for half an hour or so about their respective jobs, and John’s difficulties about finding somewhere to live in London, whilst he was working out his notice in Birmingham. Denise also explained that there would be times when she would not be able to take a phone call during the day, but that Wednesday evenings would normally be a good time for them to speak.

---

On the Friday evening, after a second successful week’s work Samantha and Denise were sharing a curry and discussing their plans for the coming weekend when the latter’s mobile phone sounded. Denise looked at the display, frowned and sent a busy signal.

‘That's the third time you've refused a call from my cousin, he won’t wait for ever you know,’ said Samantha.

‘It wasn't from John but my elder sister, Julia. I'll call her back later.’

‘I could always go up to my room if you're likely to be discussing any family secrets,’ said Samantha, clearly curious to learn more.

‘There are no family secrets, but when I speak to her it will have to be as Denis, as she does not know anything about Denise. I promised you that I wouldn't bring Denis into your house,’ she answered.

‘Yes, I see, thank you for remembering,’ said Samantha.

A few minutes later the phone bleeped as a text message came through. Denise read it then sighed.

‘Is there a problem?’ asked Samantha.

‘It's my sister again, she says that she has been offered a job interview on Monday and will be coming up to London on Sunday night to stay for a couple of days. She wants to know whether she can sleep on my bedroom floor. Why does everyone want to come to London so suddenly?’

‘It's where the best job opportunities are, even though the cost of living is higher,’ said Samantha. ‘Where does your sister live?’

‘She rents a flat at Sprowston in Norfolk; it's a suburb of Norwich, not far from my mother’s house.’

‘I wouldn't mind if you had visitors, she could sleep on the settee or even share your double bed, as she's your sister.’

‘You're forgetting that she's expecting to come and stay with her younger brother. I think it may come as a shock for her to discover that he's currently living and working as a woman.’

‘Do you have any other brothers or sisters?’

‘No there's just the two of us. She finished college just over a year ago.’

‘Well my dear, she's going to have to find out about you some time, might it not be best to get it over and done with? You never know, she might even prefer having a younger sister to having a brother.’

Denise smiled at the thought.

‘Yes I suppose you're right. However, even if I'm able to talk Julia round, when she returns home my mother will undoubtedly ask her what I'm doing in London and so it won’t be too long before she finds out as well.’

Samantha shrugged.

‘Che sera, sera - What will be, shall be’. It's your life; It doesn't belong to your mother or your sister’.

‘Maybe, but I need to consider what will be the best way forward. If you don't mind I will go up to my room and telephone her to find out some more details.’

Half an hour later Denise came down. Samantha looked up from the novel she was reading.

‘So what's happening then?’ asked Samantha.

‘Julia is arriving at 5.00pm on Sunday, and wants me to meet her at Liverpool Street Station as she doesn't know London very well. She's been invited to look round the company offices on Monday afternoon and then she'll have her formal interview on Tuesday morning. She would therefore like to stay with us for two nights, if you don't mind.’

‘Yes of course she can stay, but have you told her about Denise yet?’

Denise sighed and looked anxious.

‘No, not yet. I couldn't think how to introduce the subject into the conversation,’ she answered in a slightly irritated voice. ‘I was too much of a coward, but I promise to do so before I bring her to the flat on Sunday evening.’

Samantha decided to leave the matter in her friend’s hands and did not press her any further on the matter. She changed the subject and they spent the rest of the evening watching television and sharing a bottle of wine.

---

As previously agreed, Denise and Samantha devoted their Saturday mornings to housework. They worked well together and were finished by lunchtime. Samantha then made a couple of sandwiches for them.

‘Will you be coming home for dinner tonight, or eating with Sue and Alison?’ she asked.

‘I believe Sue is away this weekend, and I'm not sure what Alison is planning to do afterwards. Perhaps it would be better if we agreed to fend for ourselves for dinner tonight,’ she answered.

‘That suits me; I've promised to visit the newlyweds in their new house and will probably be invited to stay for dinner.’

Samantha made a brief call to Jane and then said, ‘I’ll see you later then Denise. Don’t worry if I'm not home until late tonight, in fact if we have something to drink I may even spend the night there, whilst they still have a spare room.’

---

Denise enjoyed the shopping trip with Alison and helped her to choose a new outfit to wear at work, as well as buying various cosmetics and a new handbag for herself. She always enjoyed Alison’s down-to-earth conversation, and now felt flattered that she should take note of her opinion. In fact Denise was gradually developing a flair for choosing clothes and accessories that went well together, derived from her experiences at work. At about four pm they stopped to have a coffee, and Denise used the opportunity to tell her friend about the proposed visit of her sister the next day.

‘So what are you planning to do when she arrives tomorrow and finds that her little brother has been transformed into an attractive young woman?’ asked Alison.

Denise thought for a moment before answering.

‘I suppose I'll have to tell her the story of the last few weeks. I don't really have any alternative, but I'm not really looking forward to doing so.’

‘It may not be as difficult as you imagine, once she has gotten over the surprise. You look and act so naturally as a girl that she may even have suspected something already,’ said Alison.

Denise blushed.

‘I don’t think so. I'd never dressed as a girl before that weekend in May when I met you.’

‘What do you think will be her reaction when she meets you?’

‘I don’t know; we've never been particularly close, she had her own friends,’ answered Denise shrugging.

‘And you?’

‘I had my own acquaintances’, answered Denise sadly.

‘Well the next couple of days might be a good opportunity for you both to get to know one another better,’ said Alison, wanting to lighten the tone of the conversation.

‘Maybe, but I'm also concerned about what she's going to say to my mum afterwards.’

‘You never know, she could be a useful ally to you in the future.’

‘That is what Samantha said. But do you think I should ring her to warn her about Denise before she arrives?’

‘I don’t think so,’ answered Alison, after some thought. ‘Let her see how good you look first and then do all your explaining.’

‘What should I wear when I go to meet her?’

‘That's a typical girl’s reaction to any stressful situation,’ said Alison laughing.

Denise blushed.

‘You need to look feminine and smart at the same time, but not too girly or glamorous. You don't want to overshadow her. What is she likely to be wearing when you meet tomorrow?’

‘I'm not sure, Julia does wear dresses, but I guess she'll probably travel up to London in trousers tomorrow.’

‘It might be a good idea for you wear trousers as well, but make sure everything else about your appearance is appropriately feminine.’

‘I only have a pair of jeans, although I have been thinking about buying myself some nice trousers sometime,’ she answered.

‘In that case why don’t we get you a suitable pair now?’ suggested Alison. ‘We can then go back to your flat and choose the rest of your outfit together. When we've done that, you can bring your clothes round to my flat and stay the night. We can work out together how you'll deal with the situation. I'll also be able to ensure that you're suitably attired when you go to meet her tomorrow and that you don't run away and hide at the last minute.’

‘Won’t that get in the way of your own plans for the rest of the weekend, Alison?’

‘I don't have any particular plans since my boyfriend’s working and my flatmate’s visiting her parents.’

‘Alright then, thank you for your offer’ said Denise.

---

The following afternoon Denise and Alison were waiting at Liverpool Street as Julia’s train pulled in to the platform. Julia had earlier sent a text message to confirm the train she was on, and a reply had been sent to say that she would be met at the station. Denise was wearing a light blue trouser suit over a white silk camisole top which they had bought the previous afternoon. The top was sufficiently low cut to show a hint of her cleavage, which was complemented a gold locket loaned to her by Alison, and a discrete pair of earrings together with the studs. She wore a pair of white medium heeled sling back shoes with a matching shoulder bag. Her long hair was lying loose on her shoulders. Alison had also inspected her makeup and pronounced it to be just right — neither too much nor too little.

‘Now remember the role playing that we practised last night,’ said Alison.

‘I'll do my best’ answered her friend nervously.

‘I'll stay with you until you catch sight of her coming down the platform and then move a few feet away, as if I were a stranger. If all seems to be going well between the two of you, I'll leave you to get on with it, but if she faints, has hysterics on the concourse, or tries to call the police, I'll come over and lend you a hand.’

Denise smiled.

‘I don’t think that's very likely, but thanks for all the help and your moral support this weekend, Alison.’

The passengers started to alight from the train.

‘Are you sure that I look alright?’ asked Denise nervously.

It was now Alison’s turn to smile.

‘You know perfectly well that you look great in that outfit.’

‘Alright then, I can see Julia making her way down the platform, that's her with the weekend bag and pulling the small red suitcase.’

Julia seemed to be about twenty-three years old; she was slim, casually dressed in jeans and a leather jacket, and with long brown hair.

‘She looks nice. I'm sure she'll appreciate how you look once she gets over the surprise,’ commented Alison. ‘Now good luck and remember you've nothing to be ashamed of or to apologise for. If you're able to do so, please ring me later to let me know how you get on.’

‘Yes of course, and thanks again for everything.’

Alison squeezed her friend’s hand discreetly and went and stood a few yards away.

Julia walked through the gate of the platform and on to the concourse, and looked around for her brother, in the place where he said he would be waiting. She could see no sign of him. By now most of the passengers alighting from her train had left, and those who would soon join it were in the centre of the concourse waiting to be called. There were only a few individuals scattered around where she was standing. She didn't​ notice a rather nervous looking, but quite attractive young woman in a blue suit walk towards her, until she actually spoke.

‘Hello Julia, I am Denise and have come to meet you.’

There seemed to be something familiar about the girl, especially her voice, but for a moment Julia could not place it.

‘I was expecting to meet my brother, where is he?’ she asked in a puzzled voice.

‘I am afraid Denis isn't going to be around for a few weeks, but I'll be taking his place,’ said Denise, blushing slightly.

‘I don’t understand, I spoke to him on the phone yesterday, and he sent me a text message just over an hour ago,’ she said anxiously.

‘So you still don't recognise me then?’ asked Denise smiling weakly.

‘I recognise your voice, but I cannot place ….’ she paused for a moment before continuing. ‘Denis is it you?’ she asked incredulously.

Denise did her best to remain calm, quickly checking to make sure that there were not any people overhearing their conversation.

‘No, it's Denise when I am dressed like this and Denis at other times,’ she answered.

Julia looked flabbergasted.

‘But what are you doing dressed as a woman, Denis?’ asked Julia, clearly still in a state of shock.

Denise didn't find it too hard to take control of the situation.

‘Let's go somewhere quiet and get ourselves a cup of coffee and I'll explain to you everything, but you must first promise to address me as Denise otherwise it will get really embarrassing for us both,’ she said firmly.

‘Alright then,’ answered Julia, meekly.

Denise offered to carry her weekend bag, but let her sister continue with the wheeled suit case. As she did so, she caught sight of Alison smile at her and then turn and walk towards the exit of the station.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 3

Julia’s new sister

Julia had regained her composure by the time they sat down in a nearby coffee bar and ordered themselves something to drink.

‘Now, I think you've some explaining to do young man,’ she said severely.

‘Do I look like a young man?’ asked Denise a little sharply.

‘No, in fact I must admit that you look like a pretty young woman,’ answered her sister in a more conciliatory tone.

‘Thank you! In that case, please do me the courtesy of addressing me as such,’ said Denise, once again growing in confidence. ‘I am dressed the way I am because I have recently obtained a job which involves me modelling female clothes for an internet catalogue.’

Julia looked surprised both by the confident tone and the content of the answer.

‘But why were you chosen? There must have been hundreds of female models available for that sort of work?’ she said.

‘There were several reasons,’ answered Denise. ‘It was partly because I was already working for the firm and had helped them to set up the catalogue, partly because I wouldn't cost them nearly as much as a professional model, but it was mainly because they knew I'd do a good job.’

‘But it is Sunday today, and you're not working now, so why are you dressed the way you are?’

‘It takes a lot of time and expense to change Denis into Denise, or vice versa. It would not be practicable for me to do so every day. In any event I'm now sharing a flat with a photographic model. She wouldn't have been willing to share with Denis, but is happy to do so with Denise.’

‘So are you living as Denise full-time then?’

‘Well yes, at least I am for the next three months,’ she replied.

Julia was about to reply but their coffees arrived at that moment and it took a little time before the waitress was out of earshot once again.

‘I think you had better tell me the whole story, from the beginning; how I have lost a brother and gained a sister,’ she said.

The next half hour was spent relating the events of the last seven weeks beginning with the hen party, the wedding, Angela’s departure and how she had managed to acquire an entire wardrobe of female clothes, the new job offer and her move into Samantha’s flat. Julia then looked through a number of recent photographs of her sister, both at the wedding and also of her working as a photographic model

‘Wow! I must say that you look wonderful as Denise in these photographs, I would never have guessed that those pictures were not of a girl. I'm quite jealous of your looks.’

‘Thanks!’ answered Denise, blushing a little, but nevertheless feeling quite pleased with her sister’s reaction.

‘So you acted as a bridesmaid at a posh wedding without anyone realising,’ she said looking through the pictures.

‘Not exactly, the bride, the other bridesmaid and their cousin all knew, together with a couple of my workmates who were guests, but that is all. I don’t think anyone else realised,’ she added.

‘So what will happen once the modelling job has finished?’

Denise shrugged.

‘I don’t know; nothing I have done is irreversible so I can always go back to being Denis; but then I'll have to find somewhere else to live.’

‘Hm. I'm not sure that I'm happy about the way that your workmates have been ganging up on you to force you into dressing as a woman all the time.’

‘Nobody has ganged up on me — perhaps there was a little pressure exerted on me to fill in as Jane’s bridesmaid, but nothing since the wedding. I'm dressed the way I am because it is far more convenient for me to do so, both at home and at work.’

‘Is that really the only reason?’ she asked.

‘No, I suppose it is also because I enjoy dressing and acting as a woman,’ admitted Denise blushing.

‘So it would seem.’

There was silence for a few minutes whilst Julia took in what her new sister had just said. Denise seemed to be embarrassed and yet defiant.

‘But what about relationships, how will you ever find a girl friend if you dress like that?’ asked Julia.

‘Denis never had a girl friend, whereas Denise has lots of female friends.’

‘That is not quite the same thing. Are you gay?’

‘Denis was painfully shy rather than gay.’

‘Hm!’ said Julia sounding unconvinced. ‘What about Denise, she does not seem to be so shy?’

‘I just don’t know. I enjoy women’s company, but they only seem to take notice of me if I am one of them.’

‘Maybe,’ said Julia, still sounding unconvinced. ‘I can’t imagine many girls fancying you dressed the way you are, but I'm sure there would be plenty of men who might do so.’

‘My flatmate’s cousin has asked me out a couple of times, and he knows all about me.’

‘So tell me about it,’ she demanded.

‘We met at her sister’s wedding and danced together. He has asked me out but I've put him off for a couple of weeks until he moves up to London.’

‘And then what?’

‘If he asks me again, I expect I may go out with him.’

‘And then what?’

‘I don’t know, we'll have to see what happens.’

Julia did not answer for a while as she assimilated the information given to her. When she did speak it was on another tack.

Does mum know about all this?’

‘No, not yet, I was hoping to enlist your help in breaking the news to her. We'll have to be careful and break it to her gently.’

‘So now you want me to fight your battles for you,’ she replied sharply.

‘No, not really, but I could do with a little sisterly support,’ answered Denise, colouring.

Julia softened her stance, even to the extent of addressing her new sister by her adopted name.

‘Denise, you'll have to give me a little time to digest the news first; it's been quite a shock to me as well.’

‘Yes of course Julia, I understand. So are you still happy to stay with me?’

‘Where will I sleep tonight?’

‘At the flat I share in Shepherd’s Bush. ‘That is as long as you don't mind staying with your sister rather than your brother’

Julia smiled.

‘I don’t appear to have much choice.’

‘There is one thing though, Samantha, my new housemate has never met Denis and knows nothing about his background. We would both prefer to keep it that way. So when you come to stay with us please can you treat me as if I have always been your sister when we are in her company?’

‘Alright, I will do my best.’

‘In that case I just have to go to the ladies and then we'll find a tube train.’

Whilst she was in the cubicle, Denise sent a text message to Alison confirming that all was well so far, and promising to call when she got a chance. She also rang Samantha to find out her whereabouts and discovered that she'd recently returned to their flat.

‘I am on my way to the flat with my sister. Have you eaten yet?’

‘Not yet.’

‘In that case we'll bring a take away meal home with us.’

‘Thanks. How did you get on with your sister?’ asked Samantha

‘So far so good. When we arrive please treat her as if she and I have always been sisters, and that she never had a brother.’

‘Yes of course, that would be easier all round’.

---

Before they sat down to eat Denise took Julia up to her room so she could leave her cases.

‘Wow Denise, this is a comfortable room, but the pink frills are a little over powering.’

‘I didn't choose the décor, it was here when I moved in a fortnight ago,’ she answered blushing.

‘Where do I sleep?’

‘You can either sleep on the couch downstairs in a sleeping bag on my floor, or else share the double bed with me if you like?’

‘I’ll share with you as long as you promise not to snore.’

---

Julia did her best to keep to her word, regarding Denise’s background, at least when she was in Samantha’s company. She restricted any further comments or questions to those times when they were alone. As a result the three of them seemed to get on quite well together. Denise and Samantha spoke about their work and Julia described the job she was applying for. Denise therefore felt able to excuse herself for twenty minutes to go and telephone Alison and tell her all about her meeting with Julia.

‘So she is now totally accepting of you’ said Alison.

‘I wouldn't say that, but she is at least making an effort, and has not freaked out so far.’

‘Well that's a good start, and I'm sure she will begin to enjoy having a sister once she gets used to the idea.’

‘I hope so, we'll have to see how it goes.’

---

At last at about 10.00 pm the three girls decided it was time to get themselves ready for bed.

‘What time do you need to leave tomorrow?’ Denise asked her sister.

‘There's no urgency I don't have to be there until after lunch.’

‘Denise and I will have to leave for work at about 8.00am, but you are welcome to make yourself some breakfast and get ready in your own time’ said Samantha.

‘Thanks.’

---

‘You really have become quite an expert at dressing as a woman,’ commented Julia, as she watched her sister sit at the dressing table, remove her makeup and put her hair into rollers for the night.

‘Yes I suppose I have, but making sure that I look good is also a way of bolstering my confidence as a woman. Believe me, it took some courage for me to face you as Denise this afternoon’ she answered.

Julia smiled and put her hand on her sister’s bare shoulder.

‘Yes, I suppose so, but I'm glad you did,’ she said.

---

The following morning Denise and Samantha were both up washed, dressed, and had eaten some breakfast before Julia had even got out of bed. Denise called in just as she was leaving for work.

‘Good luck for this afternoon’ she said.

‘Thanks, but today is only preliminary, to get an idea whether I like the look of them and they like the look of me. The formal interviews will take place tomorrow morning,’ answered Julia.

‘Well good luck, just the same. I'll telephone you this afternoon to see how you got on.’

‘Alright then, Sis, and I’ll see you this evening,’ answered Julia.

Denise smiled at the reference to her, and left for work.

---

It was another busy day at work for the two models and it was not until 4.00pm after they had changed back into their own clothes when Denise had a chance to ring her sister.

‘Hi Denise!’, she responded.

‘How did you get on this afternoon?’ she asked.

‘I've my interview at midday tomorrow.’ answered Julia without saying anything more.

‘But would you like the job if it is offered to you?’

‘Oh yes! The work would be great, if I were to get it, my ideal job in fact. There are several other good candidates though,’ said Julia.

‘Do you think you might stand a chance?’

‘I've all the necessary qualifications and experience that they are asking for so it will just be a question of my impressing the interview panel tomorrow. The problem is that I always turn into a nervous wreck before job interviews. I also now wish I'd brought something a little smarter with me to wear as there seems to be a smart dress code in the office.’

‘What sort of thing would you be looking for?’

‘Everyone in the office was wearing a suit. Some of the girls were wearing trouser suits, and others had skirts and they were all wearing makeup,’ she said.

‘Perhaps I could loan you something suitable to wear to your interview’ said Denise.

‘Are you likely to have something that would suit me?’

‘Possibly, you remember I told you about my friend Angela who gave me a whole load of her work clothes. She was about the same size as the two of us. You'd be welcome to have a look through my wardrobe to see if anything suits you.’

‘Wow! Borrowing my interview outfit from my little brother — that really would be a tale for my girlfriends,’ laughed Julia.

‘Hey, what is it with ‘little brother’ complained Denise. ‘Remember it was “sis” this morning.’

‘I am sorry Denise, I was forgetting my promise to you. If you'd been standing in front of me rather than speaking on the telephone I wouldn't have made the same mistake.’

---

Before she left work that evening, Denise had a word with Sue to ask her whether she might take the following day as leave, so that she could help her sister to get ready for the interview and also offer her some moral support.

‘I don’t think there would be a problem from my point of view,’ answered Sue. I can easily reschedule tomorrow’s session so that we only use Samantha. We're going to need several days of her working on her own before she leaves us in September. We'll have plenty of time to make use of you on your own in late September after she has left us.’

‘So do you think my modelling job might continue after the three months are complete?’ said Denise.

‘I can’t speak for Helen, but I'd imagine so, at least in some part-time capacity,’ she answered. ‘We should have completed the backlog by the end of September, but we're getting in new clothes all the time and the website will need to be kept up to date. With Jane planning to take maternity leave you'll be the obvious candidate for the job.’

‘I hadn't thought of that.’

‘There probably won't be enough work to employ a full-time model’ said Denise.

‘No but it might also be combined with a part-time post of webmaster, or perhaps I should I say webmistress.’

‘But Jane will be able to do any modelling necessary when she comes back’ answered Denise.

‘We’ll see, but in the meanwhile don't get anxious if I sometimes use Samantha more than I do you. I think you both make excellent models.’

---

Samantha stopped off on her way home to do some shopping, but Denise returned to the flat to prepare their meal. She found Julia waiting for her.

‘Rather than cook this evening, I'd like to buy us all a take-away meal, as a thank you for letting me stay,’ suggested Julia.

‘Alright then, Samantha likes to eat Chinese food,’ said Denise, taking a menu out of a drawer, ‘but we'd better wait for her to return before ordering anything. They don’t deliver, but we can order in advance and I don’t mind going to collect the food. In the meanwhile come and have a look through my wardrobe for something suitable for you to wear tomorrow.’

As she went through Denise’s now considerable collection of smart clothes, Julia told her sister all about the job. She was clearly interested in the post, but equally worried about the forthcoming interview.

‘Julia, would you like me to take a day off tomorrow to come and offer you some moral support until your interview?’ asked Denise

‘That's really kind and thoughtful of you. If you really didn't mind coming along, I should appreciate your company.’

‘Well that's settled then.’

Julia chose a dark red two-piece suite with matching handbag and shoes, and a pink silk blouse, which she tried on and fitted her well.

‘You're welcome to borrow them, I never have need to wear anything quite so formal,’ said Denise.

‘Me neither, as a rule, but thank you for loaning them to me. I'll now feel much more confident about the interview tomorrow.’

Samantha arrived home at that point, and she expressed her approval of the outfit.

‘I have a matching necklace and pair of earrings that would go well with that outfit, if you would like to borrow them’ said Samantha.

‘Yes please,’ answered Julia.

The three proceeded to choose their dishes and Denise left them to go and fetch the order. Julia changed back into the clothes that she'd been wearing before joining Samantha in the lounge. It was inevitable that the conversation would turn to the only person the two of them knew in common.

‘Samantha, was it you who first gave my brother the idea of dressing as a girl?’

‘No, it was my sister Jane’s idea. ‘I've never met your brother, I’ve only ever known Denise. Does it trouble you?’

‘I don’t know — it ought to do so, but Denise seems to be such a kind and contended person, whereas my former brother was awkward and morose.’

‘I admit that it was me who first suggested her as a bridesmaid, but at the time I genuinely thought Denise was a girl. Later, when I discovered the truth about her I did perhaps exert a little pressure on her to help us out, but I was always under the impression that she was enjoying herself in the role. Certainly during the six weeks since the Wedding no-one has tried to force her into anything. I've always made it clear that I regard Denise as a good friend, and I'd prefer not to complicate that friendship by meeting Denis. However, she chose to take the job as a model, and she chose to give up her former accommodation and come and share the flat with me.’

‘I just wonder where it will all lead to eventually,’ said Julia.

‘Yes I can understand your worries, but that is something for Denise to work out for herself. It is her life to live as she wishes.’

‘It is strange, I always wished for a younger sister rather than a brother, and Denise seems to have turned into just the kind of sister I'd have liked. So why should I be so concerned?’

‘You described your sister a few minutes ago as a kind and contented person, isn’t that enough?’

‘Yes, it is enough to satisfy me, but I'll soon have to try and explain the situation to her mother.’

‘Good luck.’

Soon afterwards Denise returned with the food and the conversation turned to other matters.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 4

The interview

Samantha was first up and ready for work the following morning, and was just finishing a quick cup of coffee when the two sisters emerged from their bedroom.

‘I have to leave for work now, but good luck Julia, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you at about midday,’ she said. ‘I hope to see you again in London some time.’

‘I hope so too. Many thanks for everything, and for keeping an eye on my little sister! I'll make sure that your necklace and earrings are returned before I leave this afternoon.’

Julia and Denise took it in turns to have a shower and afterwards enjoyed a quick breakfast of cereal. Julia then decided it was time for her to get herself ready as she wanted to be in plenty of time for the interview.

‘Would you like me to help you with your hair and makeup?’ asked Denise.

Julia seemed a little surprised by the offer and hesitated before answering, so her sister continued.

‘Don’t forget I've gained a fair amount of experience as a hair and makeup artist over the last few weeks. Samantha and I usually help one another when we're working together and I've never had any complaints from her.’

‘In that case, thanks very much.’

---

At 11.30 the two girls were sitting in a coffee bar near to Waterloo Station, a few yards from the venue for Julia’s interview. Both of them were dressed smartly. Denise was wearing one of her blue summer dresses and white sandals. Julia looked immaculate in her dark red business suit, with her hair up.

‘Will you know the result of your interview straight away?’ asked Denise.

‘No, not quite. There'll be one more candidate to interview after me; after that they'll make their decision over lunch. They've asked all the candidates to remain in the vicinity of their office until about 2.15 pm so that they can recall the successful one,’ said Julia.

‘In that case I may as well wait here for you. When you've finished we can find somewhere nice and quiet to have lunch together,’ said Denise.

‘I'm not sure that I'll feel like eating after the interview, but we'll see,’ said Julia.

‘Good luck, Julia, and remember that you look fabulous in that outfit.’

Julia smiled.

‘Thanks for everything, Denise, it's been great having you as my sister and providing me with moral support,’ said Julia kissing her on the cheek.

‘Be careful not to spoil your make-up,’ said Denise laughing. ‘It took me ages to get it looking just right this morning.’

‘If I get the job, you'll have to give me a few makeup lessons,’ said Julia laughing.

‘It'll be my pleasure.’

Denise watched as her sister left the café and entered a nearby office block. She then turned her attention to a fashion magazine, which she'd purchased earlier that day. A few minutes later her mobile telephone rang. She looked down at the caller display and an involuntary feeling of pleasure came over her as she noticed that it was John calling.

‘Hello John! What can I do for you today?’ she asked in a businesslike, but friendly manner.

‘Hi Denise! I was speaking to Jane at work and she told me that you'd taken the day off, so I thought I'd ring.’

‘Yes, my sister’s in London for a job interview and so I'm keeping her company. She's having her interview at this moment.’

‘I didn’t know you had a sister,’ he said. ‘Does she know?’

‘Yes, of course, I told her when she arrived on Sunday’

‘And is she alright about everything?’

‘Yes, so far, thank you.’

‘Good. In that case I'd better not keep you talking for too long, but I have to come down to central London on business tomorrow and wondered whether I could have lunch with you.’

‘I thought we'd agreed to leave things until after you'd moved to London,’ she said.

‘I agreed that I would not ask you out on a date, but that's not the same thing as meeting for lunch is it?’
He sounded a little disappointed by her reaction, and Denise felt a little sorry for him.

‘No, I suppose not, but I'm afraid we only get half an hour at lunchtime and so I tend to have a coffee and sandwich with Samantha. Couldn’t the three of us meet up together for something to eat after work?’

‘Sorry, but I'll need to drive back at 3.00 pm.’

‘In that case, I'm sorry, John, but I'll have to turn you down this time, but thanks for asking me,’ she said trying to sound positive.

‘No problem,’ he answered, and then hesitated for a moment before continuing. ‘So may I ring you again in a fortnight after I have moved up?’

‘Yes, I should like you to do that,’ she replied.

‘Great, I'll speak to you then, so goodbye for now, I hope your sister gets her job,’ he answered this time sounding much happier.

'So do I'.

‘Oh dear, I wonder what I've let myself in for now,’ she thought as she put her phone away in her handbag.

Denise ordered herself another coffee and returned to reading her magazine, periodically looking for any sign of her sister. She had now been in her interview for more than thirty minutes. Was that a good sign? At last, after another fifteen minutes or so, she caught sight of Julia leaving the entrance to the office, so she left the café to meet her half way.

‘How did it go?’ she asked.

‘OK, I think. They were quite friendly and seemed to be interested in what I was saying, but I was feeling pretty nervous,’ answered Julia.

‘Did you answer all their questions?’

‘Yes, I believe so, and I was able to put over a few suggestions of my own, as well.’

‘Well that sounds quite promising.’

‘I hope so. We'll just have to see this afternoon.’

Denise looked at her watch, it was 12.50.

‘So what would you like to do for the next hour and a half?’ she asked.

‘I'm not feeling hungry, and I wouldn’t be able to walk very far in these shoes, so shall we just sit down by the river and talk about something to take my mind off the interview?’ said Julia.

‘Of course, I'll do anything I can to be of assistance.

---

The two girls walked slowly to the Jubilee Gardens where they found an empty seat by the riverside facing Westminster Bridge and the Houses of Parliament.

‘So Julia, what would you like us to talk about whilst we wait for the dreaded telephone call?’

‘How about you and your future?’ suggested Julia.

‘Alright then: at the moment I'm feeling very happy and fulfilled with my life. In fact, I cannot remember a time when I have felt happier. However, I've no idea what will happen come the autumn when my job finishes.’

‘What would you like to happen in the Autumn?’

Denise sighed.

‘If I'm honest, I suppose I'd like to stay living and working as Denise, and for things to carry on pretty much as they are now.’

‘So what's stopping you from carrying on?’

‘I don’t know really. I'm sure that they would not object at work, even if there was no more modelling work for me to do. Samantha seems to be happy to have Denise as a housemate. In fact, it will be far more problematic for me when, or if, I have to return to living as Denis. I suppose the only thing that worries me is that there would no longer be any excuse for my having to live as a woman. If I continued to do so, it would be because I preferred life as Denise rather than Denis,’ she answered.

‘I think that over the last two days you've convinced me that is already the case,’ commented Julia.

Denise avoided eye-contact with her sister, but Julia could see that she had no wish to dispute the point.

‘So what do you think I should do?’ she asked.

Julia thought for a few moments before responding.

‘I think you should continue living as Denise for as long as you are happy to do so.’

‘So when should I tell mother?’

‘You should tell her as soon as possible. If you like, I'll break the news to her gently tomorrow, when I see her. I'll then call you to confirm that I've done so. You'll need to follow it up with a phone call of your own and also perhaps a letter as quickly as possible.’

‘Should I go and visit her?’

‘I suggest that you should wait and see how she reacts to the news first, and then offer to go and see her. May I take a couple of your glamorous photos of you to show to her?’

‘Yes of course.’

As they were talking Julia’s mobile phone started to ring.

‘It is too soon for it to be about the job,’ she commented as she fished for it in her handbag. She looked at the display and frowned, not recognising the number.

‘Hello, Julia Simons.’

She sat listening for a couple of minutes, before saying in a shocked voice, ‘thank you very much, I'll see you at your office in about fifteen minutes then.’

She then turned to Denise.

‘They're offering me the job. They want me to go back to the office to discuss the details of when I'm to start.’

The two sisters hugged one another and shrieked with delight.

‘Julia, that's wonderful news for you, and also for me as well as now I'll have another friend living in London.’

‘Not just a friend, we'll now be able to get to know one another as sisters. I really hope you decide to remain as Denise, I much prefer having you as a sister than as a brother.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Would you mind coming back to the office with me Denise, you would be able to wait in the foyer?’

‘I have a few things to buy in the chemists across the road, why don’t you telephone me as soon as you are finished sorting out the details of your new job and then we can meet up in that café again.’

‘Don’t tell me it is that time of the month!’ said Julia laughing.

‘Life would be a lot simpler for me if it were,’ answered Denise blushing.

---

When the two girls met again at the cafe, just over an hour later, Denise handed to her sister a card offering her congratulations together with a small box of chocolates.

‘These are for you. I would have bought you a bunch of flowers but I thought they might be a problem to take home on the train with your suitcases.’

‘Thanks very much, but we'd better get moving now as I'll need to change out of these clothes at your place and then make my way home. I'll tell you all about the arrangements on the tube train back to your place.’

‘That outfit suits you and will come in useful when you start work. If you like, you're welcome to keep the clothes you are wearing, and also take another suit from my wardrobe. Angela left me more business suits than I'm ever likely to wear. In any event, now I'm beginning to get used to what suits me I'm quite looking forward to choosing some new clothes for myself.’

‘Alright then Denise, thank you very much. If you like we can go out shopping together when you come up to Norwich. However, I would still like to change for the journey home, and in any event I have to return your friend’s jewellery.’

---

Three hours later Denise was accompanying her sister to her train at Liverpool Street. This time she looked the smarter of the two of them.

‘Thanks once again for putting me up, for the moral support, and also for the clothes,’ said Julia. ‘I'll go round and see Mum tomorrow evening and gently try and explain your situation to her. I hope she'll be happy for both of us. In any event, I'll ring you tomorrow night to tell you how it went and we can then decide what you need to do.’

‘How do you think she's going to react to the news?’ asked Denise.

‘I’ve no idea, but I promise to do my best to make it clear that you have turned into a lovely young woman who seems to be very happy in her new life,’ she replied.

‘You'll make me cry if you aren't careful,’ said Denise, wiping a tear away. ‘Julia I'm so glad that you came to stay.’

‘Me too!’ she answered.

The two sisters embraced and Julia got on her train. Denise remained on the platform long enough to see it leave, and then walked back to the underground station to return to her flat.

---

‘How did your sister get on with her interview yesterday Denise?’ asked Sue, as she was setting up the studio lights ready for the day’s photography the following morning.

‘She did very well indeed; in fact she's been offered a job and will start working there in September,’ answered Denise, as she was just putting the final touches to her makeup for the first session.

‘That's good. By the way, how did she react when she discovered that she had acquired a new sister?’

Denise shrugged.

‘She was certainly a little shocked to begin with, but by the end of her stay I believe she was coming round to accepting the idea.’

‘I think it was more than that. When I spoke to her on Monday evening she told me that she'd always wanted a younger sister,’ added Samantha who was putting on a pair of earrings.

‘That was nice of her to say so. I do believe we've been closer to one another during last few days than at any time in the past.’

‘I don't think that she was looking forward to breaking the news to your mother though,’ said Samantha.

‘Well how would you react if you suddenly discovered that your only son was living and working as a girl?’ answered Denise.

Samantha shrugged.

‘I hope I would say to myself, that it is his, or rather her, life to live in whatever way she chooses, and then offer any support I could’ she answered.

‘What about you Sue?’ asked Denise

‘That's difficult to say, Denise, since I don't have any children, but I also hope that I'd be understanding and happy for her,’ replied Sue.

‘I hope you're both right. Julia will be going round to see mum this evening and will break the news to her then. She has promised to ring me afterwards. If all goes well I may even go and visit them both this weekend.’

‘In that case we’ll keep our fingers crossed for you this evening. But what about your Dad’s reaction when he finds out?’ asked Sue.

‘Mum and Dad are divorced now and he's living in Australia with a new family. I only ever hear from him at Christmas or on my birthday, so there is no great urgency for him to know.’

‘Unless, of course, you decide that the changes you have made to your lifestyle recently become permanent,’ added Samantha laughing.

‘I haven’t even thought about that,’ said Denise, blushing. ‘My vision of the future only stretches as far as next September when you go back to university.’

‘Alright then ladies, I think it is now time for us to begin our work for the day,’ said Sue, ‘but I hope all goes well between your sister and your mother this evening Denise.’

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 5

A revelation

Julia had telephoned her mother briefly during her journey home on Tuesday evening to give her the good news about her new job. She had then arranged to come round to her house after work the following evening to tell her all the details. Ellen Simons had therefore prepared a celebratory meal for her daughter on Wednesday, and the first half an hour or so of their discussion therefore covered her new responsibilities, how she had got on at the interview, and Julia’s plans to move to London when she was due to begin her job at the beginning of September.

‘Will you be able to stay with Denis again until you find your own flat?’ she asked.

‘I'm not sure about that. It may be possible for me to stay for a night or two,’ she answered. ‘He shares a flat with a colleague from his work and they don’t have a spare bedroom, so I’ll need to find somewhere to live for myself pretty quickly.’

‘By the way, how's Denis getting on in London, he's never very forthcoming to me when we speak on the telephone?’

This was the question Julia had been dreading and now she struggled to find the right words to answer.

‘He's, er, doing quite well, and seems to be very happy, but has found himself rather an unusual job for the summer,’ she said.

‘I thought he was still working for the same company that he joined when he went up to London. The one which supplies women’s fashions to shops,’ she replied.

‘Yes, he does still work for them, and is currently helping to prepare their new online catalogue,’ replied Julia.

‘So what does he have to do that is so unusual?’

Julia hesitated then answered.

‘He's temporarily working as a photographic model.’

Ellen laughed.

‘I know mother’s are usually biased, but even I can see that he is neither tall enough nor good looking enough to work as a model,’ she said in some surprise.

‘Perhaps not, as a male model, but he's actually modelling female clothing for them, and seems to be very good at it.’

Ellen didn’t seem to take in what was said, so Julia took the opportunity to hand over several recent photographs of Denise taken at work.

‘Here, please have a look at these,’ she said.

Ellen looked through several pictures in a state of shock.

‘Are you telling me that these are pictures of my son Denis?’ she said.

‘Yes Mum,’ said Julia.

After a few moments hesitation, she added, ‘but he asks that we should refer to him as “Denise” and as “she” or "her" when, er “she”'s dressed like that.’

Ellen looked utterly shocked, and didn't answer. Julia decided that she needed to say something more.

‘Denise looks pretty good as a model, doesn’t she?’

Ellen still didn't answer, but continued to scrutinize the pictures.

‘I have to say that she was really kind and thoughtful to me when I was in London,’ continued Julia.

‘How long have you known about this?’ asked Ellen sharply.

‘I only discovered myself on Sunday afternoon, when I arrived in London. To begin with it came as quite a shock to me as well, but I've gradually got used to the idea,’ said Julia.

‘So how long has this been going on?’ she asked.

‘Only a few weeks, but she's recently been asked by them to work as a model until mid-September.’

‘How on earth did he get involved in this - modelling?’ she asked with a note of distaste.

‘I understand that Denis agreed to dress as a girl for one evening in May so that he could attend the hen night of one of his colleagues. He must have impressed his colleagues because a few days later, Denise was asked to fill in at short notice for her bridesmaid who'd broken her leg.’

As she said this she handed over some more photographs; this time of her erstwhile brother dressed as a bridesmaid.

‘But these are incredible,’ continued Ellen, still quite stunned. ‘However did he acquire the long hair, and what about those breasts?’ she said pointing to a close up portrait of Denise in her bridesmaid’s dress.’

‘She's wearing hair extensions and silicone breast forms in that picture, both of which are very convincing. She also has nail extensions that also look just like the real thing.’

‘It must take him ages to get himself ready for work each morning,’ commented Ellen.

Julia blushed.

‘No longer than it takes Samantha, the other model they're employing for the job. Her hair, breasts and the finger-nails remain in place after work each evening and at weekends.’

‘But how does he manage when he's not working?’

‘Mum, you must realise that Denise is currently living as a woman full-time. In fact it was one of the conditions of her sharing a flat with Samantha. I didn't meet Denis whilst I was in London.’

Ellen stared at the pictures.

‘He has pierced his ears as well.’

‘Yes, I know, she's had a second set of piercings since this picture was taken.’

‘And where did all these clothes come from?’

‘I understand she was given quite a number of women’s clothes by a girl friend who was emigrating to Singapore, and others have been provided by her work. I think she may have bought some of her own as well.’

Ellen took in a sharp intake of breath.

‘Julia, I wish you would stop referring to your brother as if he were a woman. I don’t know what he thinks he is doing, but I'm certainly not going to condone it, and will tell him so when I see him,’ she said fretfully.

‘My so-called brother now looks, sounds and even acts like an attractive young woman, and she seems to be very happy with her new life,’ replied Julia in a determined voice.

Ellen didn't reply, but continued looking through the photos absently. A tear started to run down her cheek. Julia placed her hand on her mother’s arm to stop her from flicking through the pictures.

‘Mum, like you I was shocked at first, but she's now an adult and has the right to choose how she spends her life. As I said, Denise has been very kind to me over the last few days and it has been good to discover that I now have a sister living in London. I hope she 'll remain as Denise for as long as she wishes to do so. In the meanwhile, the least I can do is to address her as she chooses,’ said Julia in a gentle yet determined voice.

Ellen’s anger subsided, and she started to cry.

‘Does that mean I've lost my son?’

‘I don’t really know Mum,’ said Julia embracing her mother. ‘Perhaps you have, but if so, then you've also gained a lovely younger daughter, if you choose to accept her as such.’

‘Julia, this has been such a shock to me, I don’t know what I should do. Should I speak to her on the telephone?’

‘No. You'll need a little time to digest the news, and then I'd suggest that you should meet Denise in the flesh and judge her for yourself,’ said Julia. ‘I know that she's also anxious to see you and would be willing to come up to Norwich this coming weekend, if you're willing to see her, but please don’t expect her to change back into Denis for the visit or whilst she's here.’

‘I don’t know. Whatever will the neighbours say if they see my son arriving at my house dressed like that?’ she said pointing to one photograph of Denise looking quite glamorous in an evening dress.

‘Mum, the photographs that I've shown you are either specially posed shots, or else were taken at a wedding. Most of the time my sister looks and dresses just like a normal and attractive young woman. I doubt if your neighbours would even recognise her as Denis, and even if they did do — so what?’

‘It's all very well for you to say that but I'll have to live here among them after you've both gone to London.’

‘Mum, if you're really so worried about what they think then she can always stay with me in my flat at Sprowston and we'll meet you somewhere on neutral territory,’ said Julia.

‘I'm not sure how I am going to react when we meet. I won't even know how to address him or her. I would be bound to get upset,’ said Ellenor.

‘If you like I'll be there as well when you meet her, to give you some moral support. However, please don’t expect me to take your side if you start to make unreasonable demands. If she comes to Norwich it will be as your daughter, Denise, and not as your son, Denis. You must accept that, or else it'll be better that she doesn't come,’ said Julia.

Her mother paused in thought for a while.

‘Alright, maybe we can meet somewhere in Norwich and take it from there.’

‘I've promised to telephone her later to tell her how I got on when I spoke to you this evening. I'll suggest to her that she comes up to Norwich after work on Friday evening.’

---

Denise was not surprised, although inevitably a little disappointed to hear of her mother’s initial reaction to the news, when she spoke to Julia later on Wednesday night.

‘Do you think I should come home on Friday evening?’ she asked.

‘Yes, I think so, but I'm afraid you'll have to stay with me rather than with mum,’ replied Julia apologetically.

‘Oh!’ said Denise, and the disappointment in her voice was apparent from that one syllable.

Her mother didn't want her to come to her house, although she'd plenty of spare room, one of which still contained some of Denis’s belongings. Instead, she'd have to sleep on Julia’s couch.

‘Look, Denise, Mum was bound to be a little shocked by the news, but at least she has agreed to meet you,’ said Julia. ‘Once she gets to know you as a lovely young woman, she'll soon come round to accepting the idea.’

‘I hope you're right,’ she answered without enthusiasm.

‘Just give her a little time to get used to the idea, and don’t try to rush things.’

‘Alright Julia, I'll try. Thank you for acting as the go-between, it can't have been easy for you.’

‘That's alright, and I promise to help you both as much as I can this coming weekend’.

‘I’ll talk to you later when I know what time I’ll be arriving.’

Denise finished the call and felt a tear welling up in her eye. Samantha had been in the same room reading a novel when her friend had taken the call.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she asked when she saw her friend was in distress.

‘Will you hold me please?’ asked Denise.

Samantha hesitated for a second, but then got out of her chair and gave her friend an affectionate hug. Denise began to cry, for the first time since she was a child.

‘Whatever is the matter, Denise?’, asked Samantha.

‘Samantha, I'm so confused about everything. I've had such a mixture of emotions these last few weeks that I don’t know whether I'm happy or sad. At least my mother knows now, but I'm so anxious about visiting Norwich this weekend.’

‘In that case, don’t go, if it's just going to upset you in this way.’

‘No, I have to go and face her. She's my mother, and I don’t want to be a disappointment to her.’

‘Yes, I suppose that now that she knows you'll have to meet her face to face.’

Denise nodded, but didn't say anything.

‘I've promised to visit my Dad this weekend, otherwise I'd offer to go with you and hold your hand,’ said Samantha, still hugging her friend.

Denise smiled through her tears.

‘No, it's all right. Julia will be there to offer me moral support.’

‘I'm glad. I liked your sister and I feel that she would be good to have as an ally.’

‘Yes, I suppose so.’

‘One of the authors we've been studying at University, Dame Julian, came from Norwich. She wrote about the importance of the role of mothers and their love. She also wrote some famous words which seem to apply to your situation,’ said Samantha, continuing to hold her friend.

‘What are they?’ asked Denise, now drying her eyes with a tissue.

‘All shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.’

‘I just hope she was right,’ said Denise.

‘Of course she was.’

---

The following day was Sarah’s birthday at work and Helen had brought in a cream cake and was planning an afternoon tea. Denise used the opportunity to buy her a small gift to thank her for her help over the last few weeks. The modelling work passed without untoward incident but her colleagues did notice that Denise appeared to be more pre-occupied and less cheerful than normal and guessed that it related to her mother. Once her colleagues were having tea, and after they had all congratulated Sarah, Sue encouraged Denise to relate the story of her sister’s arrival, her interview and her mother’s subsequent reaction to them all. Her colleagues listened and offered their sympathy and reassurance.

‘So what are your plans for the weekend?’ asked Sarah.

‘I hope to leave for Norwich as soon as we've finished work tomorrow and catch the 6.30 pm train from Liverpool Street.

‘Where will you be staying?’ asked Jane.

‘My sister has offered to let me stay in her bedsit because my mother is worried about what the neighbours might think if I turn up wearing a dress!’

‘But you will be meeting her?’ asked Helen.

‘Yes, Julia has arranged that she and my mother will meet me off the train at 8.30 pm and then we'll collect a take-away meal in the city centre and take it back to Julia’s bed-sit in Sprowston.’

‘Then what?’

‘I'll have to play it by ear and decide whether to return to London on Saturday morning or else stay for the whole weekend.’

‘Good luck. By the way what are you planning to wear?’ asked Jane.

‘I'm not sure. I don’t want to wear anything too girly that will get crumpled on the journey, but I don’t want to go looking like Denis either.’

‘You would have difficulty looking like Denis these days even if you wanted too,’ responded Sue. ‘But you do want to make a point and give a good first impression to your mother. Whatever you do, don’t wear trousers over the weekend.’

‘I have a stretch sateen panelled skirt and matching jacket in turquoise, which always looks good, even after a long train journey,’ said Jane, ‘you'd be welcome to borrow that if you like.’

‘OK thanks, but what would I wear with it?’ she asked.

‘How about that white bustier with the back zip and white buckle belt that your friend gave to you?’ suggested Samantha. ‘You could also wear your matching pair of high-heeled shoes and shoulder bag.’

‘Alright then, if you think they'll be ok’.

The group continued by planning her wardrobe for the entire weekend which at least took her mind off the forthcoming meeting with her mother for a while.

---

After work that day, Sue took pity on her young friend and invited her two models home for a meal, as Alison was planning to spend the evening at home as well. Denise therefore found herself repeating the story of the previous few days once again. However, Alison was an ideal antidote for anyone feeling depressed. She was a natural actress, and did a hilarious send-up of the meeting between Denise and her sister the previous weekend, which Denise took in good part and joined in. This was followed by an equally funny account by Samantha of her attempts to avoid the attentions of an ardent young man during her first year at university. Laughter is infectious and it did not take too long before the four of them were contributing funny stories and generally having a good time. Thus, by the time she and Samantha made their way back to Shepherd’s Bush, Denise was feeling much happier and more reconciled to dealing with whatever situation might arise over the coming weekend.

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 6

A weekend visit

On Friday, both Denise and Samantha came into work with suitcases containing their clothes and makeup for the weekend, as they were both planning to visit their respective parents after work. Jane also brought in her skirt and jacket for Denise to wear, as she'd promised. The modelling work went fairly smoothly and there was no further discussion about the weekend. As soon as they were finished for the day, Denise carefully repaired her makeup and changed into her travelling clothes. The others all came in to offer her their good wishes for the weekend before leaving.

‘How does your skirt and jacket look on me?’ she asked Jane.

‘You look fine in them,’ she answered. ‘It's surprising how many different colours look good on you.’

‘Thanks, but it's nice to have your re-assurance nevertheless, particularly as I'm still anxious about how my mother is going to react when she sees me,’ said Denise.

‘I hope all goes well with your weekend, but don’t let yourself be bullied into doing anything against your will,’ added Jane giving her a kiss.

‘That’s a bit rich coming from the woman who strong-armed me into serving as her bridesmaid,’ said Denise laughing.

Jane blushed.

‘Yes but at the time we were desperate; and in any event, look how things have turned out for you since then,’ she answered.

‘Yes I know. But don’t worry, there's no way that I'll be coming back on Sunday as Denis, I have been having too much fun living and working as Denise.’

‘I'm glad to hear that, we're still relying on the two of you to complete the catalogue this summer,’ said Helen.

---

She arrived at the station in plenty of time and so went to the ladies to check that her hair and makeup were still alright. She then bought a bunch of flowers to give to her mother when she saw her, together with a magazine to read on the journey and try and take her mind off the forthcoming interview. It was odd that whereas before she'd taken hardly any interest in or notice of fashions they were now her natural choice of light reading.

As soon as the train was ready she found herself a seat and was about to put her case on to the overhead luggage rack, when she found a young man from a few seats away was offering to do it for her. With the extra couple of inches provided by her high heels she could have easily done this for herself, but she smiled sweetly and let him get on with it, only to find herself the object of sharp looks from his female travelling companion. The carriage began to fill and she soon found herself getting up to help an elderly woman put her own somewhat larger case on to the rack at the end of the carriage. It was noteworthy that none of the men in the carriage had bothered to offer to help her. There was a seat vacant next to Denise and so the woman sat there and caught her breath.

‘Thank you for your help my dear, the taxi driver put my case on to a luggage trolley for me, but there's always the problem of getting it on to the train,’ she said.

Denise smiled in acknowledgment, and asked, ‘Where are you travelling to?’

‘I'm going all the way through to Norwich, to stay with my son and his wife for a week,’ she replied.

‘Me too, I'm visiting my mother, so I should be able to help you with your case at the other end if you like.’

‘Thank you very much, that's most kind of you. My case has wheels so it will only be a question of pulling it down the platform for me, as my son will be waiting for me. At the concourse.’

---

These days Denise didn't have any worries about being recognised as a man in her appearance, her voice, or her general deportment. She'd already discovered that most people were far more willing to chat to a stranger who was a young woman than one who was a young man, and so it was not long before the two of them were talking happily to one another. As a result the two-hour train journey passed quickly and she had no chance to look into her magazine or worry about her reception.

Their train pulled into its destination on time and some of the passengers began to queue at the entrance to the carriage. Denise suppressed her own impatience and waited until the carriage had nearly cleared before making any move.

‘If you can carry my flowers and my handbag for me, I should be able to manage both of our cases’ she said.

‘That's very kind of you dear.’

The young man had got off at an earlier station, so she reached for her own case from the overhead luggage rack, and collected her companion’s case as she was about to exit the carriage. As they walked off the platform and on to the concourse, they first came across her mother and Julia waiting for them.

‘Hi Mum, Hi Jules, I'll just help this lady to find her son and then I'll come straight back’, she said in a very matter of fact way, as she handed her own case to Julia. Ellen didn't answer.

The elderly woman turned to Ellen and said, ‘you're lucky to have such a lovely helpful daughter.’

Ellen smiled to her in reply but didn't say anything.

Her travelling companion then caught sight of her own son and daughter-in-law, waved and pointed them out to Denise. He came over, and they met him half way when he took charge of the case. Denise said farewell and wished her an enjoyable visit, collecting her handbag and the flowers from her. A few seconds later she'd returned to rejoin her mother and sister.

‘Hello Mum,’ she said awkwardly, as she handed her the bunch of flowers. ‘It's good to see you again. These are for you.’

Denise was blushing and clearly feeling very nervous. Ellen had been preparing herself for this meeting for the last couple of days, but was still at a loss to know what to say.

‘I was intending to be very angry with you when I met you, and I still have many questions to ask, but I must say that you look nice in that outfit ... Denise,’ she said.

Then, after another moment’s hesitation she added, ‘and I'm glad to see you too.’

Denise smiled. There was a palpable release of tension, particularly after Ellen had used her new name, as she had previously been instructed to do by Julia. The pair of them proceeded to hug one another.

‘Thanks Mum, I borrowed the skirt and jacket from a girl at work.’

‘Thank you for the flowers,’ said Ellen.

‘Come on you two, we can admire her outfit later,’ said Julia starting to move towards the car park. ‘Remember that we've ordered a takeaway meal to be collected at eight forty-five.’

Denise put her suitcase in the boot of Julia’s tiny two-door car and then clambered into the back seat through the passenger door, a task made somewhat more difficult because she was wearing high-heels. As she did so she knocked her knee on the lever protruding from the front seat and laddered the tights she was wearing.

‘Damn it, does it notice?’ she asked her sister.

‘Yes I am afraid so. You see Denise, wearing smart clothes can have its disadvantages as well,’ answered Julia.

Denise blushed.

‘I just wanted to make a good impression with you both.’

‘And so you did, but don’t worry, you should be alright for this evening as we're only going to my bed-sit.’

‘I should have thought to bring a spare pair of tights with me, I’ll have to buy some more tomorrow,' said Denise fretfully.

‘In that case why don’t we change our plans and take the meal to my home, I've an unopened pair you may have,’ said Ellen.

‘But Mum, you said that you didn't want Denise to visit your house in case the neighbours saw her,’ said Julia.

‘I know, and I've been feeling guilty ever since I said it. Now that I've met her I've changed my mind,’ answered Ellen. ‘You're both welcome to come to my house with the meal and also stay the night if you wish. I'd still rather the neighbours didn't find out the whole story though, at least until I’ve had a chance to come to terms with the idea myself. If we should meet anyone I will just have to introduce Denise as my niece.’

‘That suits me,’ said Denise

‘It'll be a lot more comfortable than having her sleeping on the couch in my bed-sit for the weekend,’ said Julia.

---

Half an hour later, the three women arrived back at Ellen’s house bringing with them their meal, but there was no sign of any neighbours. Denise went straight away to change her tights using Denis’s former bedroom, whilst Julia and her mother laid the table and began to serve out their meal.

‘So what do you think of your new daughter mum?’ asked Julia.

Ellen sighed.

‘I suppose that Denise does look like a real girl and also acts in a most convincing manner, but there are still many questions and concerns that I have about her future,’ she answered.

‘Yes, I understand your concerns Mum but please take it easy, this weekend can’t have been very easy for her,’ said Julia.

‘Nor me!’ said Ellen.

‘In that case let why don’t we all make a particular effort to get along with one another.’

---

In fact the meal together and subsequent conversation over a glass of wine went far better than any of the participants had imagined. Denise was again asked to tell the story of the last two months, beginning with the hen night, her first weekend as Denise, the wedding, Angela’s emigration, her own new job and the flat shared with Samantha. At first Ellen asked some questions, but after a while she just let her daughter get on with her story. She discovered that she was soon able to relax and accept Denise in her chosen new role. She was still worried about the future but she put these to one side for the time being and enjoyed the company and conversation of her two daughters.

‘So when do you see it all ending?’ asked Ellen.

‘We're due to complete work on the catalogue by the end of September, when Samantha goes back to university,’ answered Denise.

‘So will you be changing back into Denis then?’ asked Julia.

‘Perhaps, but I'm not sure at the moment. If I do so I'll have to look for new living accommodation. All I know is that I'm currently having a great time, with good friends, somewhere nice to stay and am earning good money. I've promised my boss that I'll finish the work we have started,’ she answered. ‘I may get fed up with the life, or they may get fed up with me, but for the time being I've no intention of giving it up before I need to.’

During the course of the conversation Denise received a text message on her mobile phone. She looked at it and noticed it was from John, but didn't respond whilst she was talking to the others. Eventually Ellen and Julia started discussing the latter’s new job and so Denise sought to open her message without attracting too much attention.

‘Hi Denise, wht r u doing ths wknd?’;— D

She sent a hurried response

‘At Norwich - telling Mum abt Denise ;-o.’— D

She assumed that this would put an end to their text messages, but a minute or two later her phone bleeped once more. The others looked round. Denise blushed but was anxious to see what was in the new message.

‘Good luck hpe all gos well! No 1 cd be angry with a dghtr as luvly as u! Much luv John xx. PS I move 2 Lndn on Thurs’

She smiled to herself.

‘Thnks fr knd 4ts! Gd luck wiv move. Mst go now - luv Denise xx.'

Denise put her phone away in her handbag.

‘Who were you texting, Denise?’ asked Ellen after a while.

‘Just a guy that I met at Birmingham’ she said.

‘What's his name?’ asked Julia.

‘John; he's the cousin of my flatmate Samantha. We were sitting next to one another at her sister’s wedding reception’ replied her sister.

‘The one where you were a bridesmaid?’ asked Ellen.

‘Yes that’s right.’

‘Does he know about both Denis and Denise?’ asked Julia.

‘Yes, of course he knows! I wouldn't try to keep a secret like that from my friends.’

Julia and Ellen exchanged meaningful glances but nothing more was said on the subject.

---

Julia left them for a while at 11.00pm in order to drive back to her flat at Sprowston and pick up a change of clothes for the weekend. Denise welcomed this first opportunity of speaking with her mother alone.

‘Well mum, so what do you think of your new daughter?’

‘I really don’t know what to think. You seem to be happy and relaxed and you do look lovely, and so I ask myself 'what does it matter?' Yet at the same time I remember that I gave birth to and brought up a boy.’

‘Yes but I was never a particularly happy or successful little boy, whereas I seem to be doing much better as a girl’ said Denise.

Ellen sighed.

‘Yes but you'll never be able to truly be a woman and get married and have children.’

‘I realise that, but for the time being I feel happier living, and being treated by others as a young woman.’

‘Well I suppose you're old enough to know your own mind. We'll have to see how things work out over the next few weeks.’

‘Thank you mum, I really appreciate that,’ said Denise giving her a kiss.

‘You'll be nineteen next week. Do I need to buy a birthday present for Denis or Denise or something that might suit either one?’ Ellen asked.

‘I think I would prefer to have something for Denise, after all, `one of the advantages of having a new daughter rather than a son is that she will be much easier for you to select presents.’

‘Julia said that is what you'd want. She suggested that she and I should take you out shopping tomorrow and buy you a new outfit to wear on your birthday.’

‘That would be very generous of you both’

‘Julia wants to thank you for your kindness to her when she came up to London. I feel that I should now acknowledge my new daughter’ said Ellen.

‘In that case I should love to go out shopping with you both.’

‘Good! Once Julia returns we'll make the necessary arrangements.’

‘In the meanwhile I’ll unpack my case and begin to get ready for bed. It takes me quite a bit longer these days than it used to do for Denis.’

‘So it would appear. I’ll bring you a towel. Is there anything else you need?’

‘No thanks mum, I should be fine.’

Denise took the towel from her mother before retiring to her room.

---

By the time Julia arrived back from Sprowston, Denise had cleaned off her makeup and changed into a negligee and a pair of slippers. She briefly re-joined her sister and mother to arrange to go shopping the next day.

‘I must say those breasts look most realistic’ commented Ellen. ‘For a moment I thought they were the real thing and that you’d had plastic surgery on them.’

‘They're silicone formes which are glued into place.

They need to look realistic for the modelling. Don't worry I'll warn you if I ever decide to take things any further,’ said Denise.

‘How long will you keep them on for?’

‘They have remained in place for the last three weeks and so I'll need to take them off for a couple of hours and then re-affix them sometime over the next week.’

They agreed a time to go out the next day and then Denise left the others and went to her bedroom. She knew they would want to compare notes about how the evening had gone.

---

As soon as she was alone Denise took out her phone and wrote a text message.

‘Hi John! Mtg wnt well, mum & sis now qt cool re Denise.’

It was only just over a minute before a reply was received

‘Of crse they r, y ever not? R u doing n e thing nxt wknd?’ luv John.

She thought for a moment then shrugged her shoulders and responded.

‘No, was hoping 2 see u ;-), luv D. BTW Frdy my bthdy!

His reply came almost immediately

‘Gr8 Frdy settled thn bthdy grl! ;-)) ring u Mndy 2 arrange - lots luv J xx.’

‘OK but ring eve not dytme, now going 2 bed - luv D xx’

Almost immediately a response came through:

‘Wsh I was wth u - sweet dreams! J xxx.’

‘It looks as if I am now going to have to face one more of the consequences of living as a girl full-time,’ she said to herself as she got into bed, but there was a smile on her face.

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 7

Acceptance

Denise had set the alarm on her phone to wake her at 7.00 a.m. as she wanted plenty of time to dress, put on some makeup and tidy her hair before the others saw her. She also wanted to show willing by helping to prepare the breakfast. Julia and their mother had clearly stayed up talking until quite late, as neither of them emerged from their rooms before 8.30, by which time Denise had done all the washing up left over from the previous night, laid the table, made a pot of coffee and was just making some toast.

‘Good morning Denise, I can definitely see the benefits of having two daughters,’ said Ellen as she looked at the dining room and noticed that Denise had even arranged the bunch of flowers she'd brought in a vase on the table.

Denise smiled and greeted her mother as she continued to make their breakfast. Julia came down soon afterwards and greeted them both.

‘You look nice in that dress Denise,’ she commented, and then turning to her mother she said, ‘See, I told you that my sister was beginning to develop a great dress sense.’

‘Yes, she does look nice again this morning,’ agreed Ellen after a second of hesitation.

‘My friends Samantha and Sue usually advise me what I should, or shouldn't, wear, so I'm still going to need your help and guidance when we go out shopping later,’ answered Denise.

‘Alright, and you can also help me choose another outfit for my new job,’ added Julia.

---

Their shopping trip turned out to be great fun for all concerned. Although Denis had grown up in Norwich, Denise was able to see the city from an entirely different perspective as a young woman and went into several shops that she had never been in before. She also noted how the shared experience of shopping brought her closer to her mother and sister in a way that would never have happened if Denis had been with them. At one point she recognised a couple with whom she had been at school, but there was no trace of any recognition or suspicion of herself on their part. They acknowledged and briefly spoke to Julia, congratulating her on her new job and asking how her brother was doing in London.

---

During the course of the morning Julia tried on several trouser suits ready for her new job and Denise looked out for a new dress.

‘Here try this one, I think it's your size and should suit you,’ said Julia handing her a blue grey shot silk dress.’

‘I like the colour and the material, but don’t you think it's a bit too dressy for me?’ asked Denise.

‘Maybe it wouldn't be suitable to wear for the office, but you're going to need something nice to wear when you go out with your new boyfriend,’ answered Julia.

Denise blushed at the reference, but there was no trace of malice or sarcasm in her sister’s voice. She didn't answer, but took the dress into the fitting room. A few minutes later she emerged, having regained her composure and wearing the dress.

‘What do you think?’ she asked her companions.

‘You seem to look nice in whatever you wear,’ commented Ellen, ‘but does it fit you alright.’

‘Yes I believe so,’ answered Denise as she examined herself in a full-length mirror.

‘Do you like it?’ asked Julia.

‘Yes, I think so, it's comfortable to wear and I do like the colour.’

‘In that case it will be your birthday present from me,’ said Julia.

‘Jules, are you sure you can afford it?’ asked Denise.

‘Yes of course I can now that I have got a decent job, and in any event you have recently given me a couple of expensive outfits for work,’ said her sister.

‘We'll look out for some shoes and a handbag to go with it, and that will be my birthday present’ said Ellen.

A half an hour later Denise had purchased a handbag in a sale in a nearby department store and was trying on a pair of dark blue high heeled shoes.

‘They look nice but are you sure you will be comfortable walking in those heels Denise?’ asked Ellen.

‘I think so, I managed alright in high heels at my friend’s wedding and have been getting a fair amount of practice wearing them ever since,’ she answered.

‘Ellen sighed.

Alright then, I suppose it is your birthday, and they do show off your legs rather well.’

‘Thanks, Mum.’

As they were leaving the shop with their purchases, Ellen turned to her daughters.

‘I've got away quite lightly with your birthday present, let us now leave our various purchases in the car boot and I'll treat you both to a coffee and sandwich’ said Ellen.

‘In that case I would like to be responsible for preparing the dinner tonight’ said Denise.

‘Alright, you always were quite a good cook. In fact you really are becoming quite domesticated Denise,’ said Ellen.

‘I don’t wish to be outdone by my little sister so I'd better volunteer to cook the lunch tomorrow,’ said Julia.

After lunch Denise bought herself a short jacket that could go with the dress and some spare pairs of tights, together with a wheeled cabin-bag that would hold her new purchases on the journey home. Her two companions also made various purchases for themselves. The group then returned home by means of an out of town supermarket where Denise bought everything that she would need for their evening meal.

---

As she was working alone in the kitchen later that afternoon, Denise knew that he sister and her mother would be discussing her situation in the other room, but was confident that her mother was now over the worst shock, and that in any event Julia would support her. At some point during the weekend she wanted to be able to have a long talk alone with her mother. Perhaps Julia’s offer to cook lunch on Sunday would provide them with a suitable opportunity?

---

The evening meal went very well. The food was well cooked and enjoyed by all three. The conversation was relaxed and was not just about Denise’s situation and her future, but also about Julia’s new job and their mother’s plans to take a holiday in Greece. At one point however it inevitably turned to matters about which Denise was not so confident

‘When do you plan to wear your new outfit Denise?’ asked Ellen.

‘Julia was right, I have been asked out for a meal by my friend John on my birthday, and so I thought I might wear it then,’ she answered blushing.

‘Is he your boyfriend?’ asked Ellen hesitantly.

Denise blushed again.

‘Not really, we just sat next to one another at the wedding reception. I've never been out with him as he has been living in Birmingham. However, he's due to move down to London next week and doesn’t know anyone other than his cousins and myself, so we'll have to see how it turns out’ she replied.

Somewhat to her surprise, Denise noticed that neither her mother nor her sister seemed particularly surprised by this news.

‘In that case, I wish you luck on Friday and hope the evening turns out as you would wish,’ added Ellen.

‘Thanks, but at the moment I'm not really sure what I'm wishing for.’

Julia sensed her sister’s embarrassment and steered the conversation on to other matters. They eventually went to bed around midnight and Denise felt a palpable sense of relief as she removed her makeup and put on her nightdress. Before going to bed, she sent a text message to Samantha, who was in Birmingham visiting her father for the weekend.

‘Visit has gone v. well so far - will tell all on Mon morn, luv D ;-).’

Her reply came back after a few minutes:

‘New it wld, c u mon! lol Sam xx ;-)’

---

The following morning over breakfast Julia reminded them of her promise to prepare the Sunday lunch and suggested that her mother and sister should go out for a walk together.

‘That is a good idea, I'd like to have a talk with you this morning Denise, where shall we go?’ asked Ellen.

‘I'm afraid that I haven't brought any shoes suitable for a country walk, but would you like to have a walk around the cathedral close, it's one of my favourite places in Norwich.’

‘Alright then, I'll just go to my room to collect my coat.’

---

As soon as she left Julia turned to her sister.

‘Alright Sis, you've done very well so far this weekend, but I now think it is time for you to have a heart to heart chat to mum just to make sure that all is well and answer any questions she may have.’

‘I’ll do my best, but I'm not sure what else I need to say.’

‘Just act naturally and be honest with her.’

They caught a bus into the city centre and then walked around talking of nothing in particular, each one was waiting for the other to raise the issue that was on both their minds. At last Denise decided that it was up to her to take the initiative.

‘Thank you for being so kind and understanding about everything Mum. I'm really glad that I came this weekend and that you now know all about my life in London.’

‘I'm not sure that ‘understanding’ is the right word, maybe ‘accepting’ would be more accurate,’ she answered. ‘I must admit to having been horrified by the idea when Julia first told me, but now that I've seen you I feel more resigned to the situation. In fact I've quite enjoyed having two daughters home for the weekend, and I hope we can all meet together again fairly soon. It will be a little lonely for me when you are both in London so please keep in regular touch by phone.’

‘Yes of course, it'll be so much easier to do so now that I can tell you all about my life and my job. There would be nothing to stop you coming up to visit us for the day, or even staying overnight in a hotel, as long as you're always prepared to accept me as I am.’

‘I believe that I can now assure you that I'll always accept you whether as my son or my daughter.’

Denise squeezed her mother’s hand.

‘Thanks Mum, I've had a great weekend.’

Ellen reached into her handbag and handed a little black box to Denise.

‘Here, I've already given most of your grandmother’s jewellery to Julia, but I'd like you to have these; you may keep them as long as you remain as Denise.

Denise opened the case and found a sapphire necklace in a white gold setting with small diamonds to help set them off. There were also two matching pendant earrings. They exactly matched her new dress.

‘Mum, these are really lovely, I'll be able to wear them with my new outfit. Thank you very much.’

‘I thought of them as soon as I saw that dress. Don’t lose them, and I would like them back if or when you decide to stop living as Denise.’

'OK,' she replied.

---

After a late lunch and leisurely conversation, Denise packed her own small suitcase and the wheeled cabin bag that she'd bought the day before. Ellen insisted on clearing up the meal whilst Julia drove her sister to catch the five o’clock train.

‘Thanks for arranging everything this weekend, Julia,’ said Denise, as she was about to board the train.

‘The last two days appear to have gone pretty well and Mum now seems more at ease about your situation,’ answered Julia.

‘You've been a great help in making that happen.’

‘Perhaps, but that's what sisters are for.’

‘I’ll see you soon Julia, and be sure to ask if ever you want to stay with me again.’

They hugged one another and Denise boarded the train and made her way to a seat.

---

As soon as her train pulled out of Norwich station and she had waved goodbye to her sister, Denise took out her magazine to read on her journey home. However, she never read further than the first paragraph or two as she was going over in her mind the events of the last weekend, and then of the last two months, trying to make sense of her feelings. It had certainly been an interesting, exciting and, above all, enjoyable time for her. She had been accepted without question as an attractive young woman on a number of public occasions and now had been living full-time as a woman for nearly a month, without experiencing any problems. She had also undertaken to remain as she was for the next two months and felt quite excited by the prospect. Now, for the first time, she began to think about what she might do afterwards, and even to entertain the possibility of continuing to live as she was. After all, her friends and all family seemed to accept her situation, and as Denise she had somewhere nice to live. The full-time modelling job will have finished but Sue had implied that there might be further part-time work as a model, and in any event someone would need to keep the website up to date. Even if she reverted back to her former duties she felt sure that her colleagues would not object to her remaining as Denise. The quality of her life had improved over the last few weeks and at present she had no particular desire to go back to her former existence unless she had to. However, she still had plenty of time to reflect on her situation before making any long term decisions about her future.

The train was on time, and she caught a tube across London so she was home by 8.30 pm. The flat was empty, since Samantha was not intending to travel back to London until Monday morning. She hung her new purchases in the wardrobe, and sat on her bed wondering what to do. She thought about preparing a light meal, but was not feeling hungry. She then considered calling her friends to let them know how she had done over the weekend, but her mind was still in something of a turmoil and there were many things she wanted to think about on her own before discussing them with friends. She therefore turned off her mobile and decided that she would devote the remainder of the evening to herself and her thoughts.

After undressing she carefully removed her breast forms and cleaned the area behind them. They had been firmly attached to her chest for nearly three weeks, but there was no trace of soreness to the skin, which just appeared rather pale. Nevertheless she thought it wisest to leave them off for the remainder of the evening, and get up early the next day to replace them. It felt strangely odd to be flat-chested once again, but she noted how the weight of the forms had pulled her own flesh into the vestiges of a female breast. For the first time she let her mind wonder about what it would be like to have breast implants, or even her own natural breasts. In spite of the absence of her breast formes, she still felt like a woman as she took a long hot shower and began to wash her hair. She enjoyed the feeling of having such long hair and using shampoo and conditioner, and wrapping it into a turban with a towel as Samantha had shown her.

Before getting dressed she de-fuzzed her legs and arms once again using depilatory cream and replaced the nail varnish on her toes. She then examined her finger nails, but these appeared to be ok for the time being and in any event the colour might need to be changed the following day when she was modelling again. Finally she changed into the frilly pink night dress given to her by Samantha on the first occasion she had stayed at the flat, and then sat at her dressing table drying her hair and putting it up in rollers. She found this task to be oddly relaxing, and was quite pleased with herself that she could now cope without any help. Whilst her hair was still drying she put on some moisturising cream and sat down and read a long and chatty very encouraging email from Angela. There was no question in her mind that she enjoyed living as a girl and everything that went with it including the clothes, makeup, new job, and above all, the friendships. On the subject of friendship, one aspect of being a girl was having a boyfriend. The idea of being taken out on a date and treated as a lady quite appealed, as long as the guy in question realised what he was letting himself in for. It was with this thought that she eventually fell asleep.

(Next time Denise has to make a number of decisions regarding the future direction of her life.)

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 3 Chapter 8

Decisions decisions!

‘Come on Denise, don’t keep us all in suspense, how did you get on with your mother over the weekend?’ asked Sue, as they both arrived at work the next morning. ‘I tried to ring you last night to find out, but your mobile phone seemed to be out of service.’

‘Sorry, I'm afraid I let my phone battery go flat and forgot to take a charger with me,’ she answered. ‘By the time I got home and sorted everything out it was too late to be ringing round.’

‘That’s alright, but tell us how your mother reacted when she saw you as Denise for the first time?’ reiterated Sue.

Denise smiled.

‘Actually it all went very well. Once she'd got over the initial shock, Mum was alright and even agreed to refer to me as Denise. Both my sister and I ended up staying in her flat for the weekend, as we originally planned. In fact they have bought me a lovely new outfit and accessories for my birthday on Friday, and mum has loaned me some jewellery to go with it..’

‘I knew things would probably work out for you. It was just a question of your grasping the nettle’ said Sue.

‘Well I'm glad I've now done so, it feels as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.’

---

Samantha had arranged to come directly into work on Monday morning, having caught the early train down from Birmingham. She was hurriedly given the basic outline of her friend’s weekend as they were getting themselves ready for the first shoot of the day, but Denise delayed giving the whole story until they had time for a quiet chat together over lunch.

‘Now that both your mother and sister know and approve of what you are doing you can relax a little more and enjoy your summer living as Denise,’ commented Samantha as they sat down together with their salads.

‘Actually, Mum made it clear to me that she accepts the situation rather than approves of me living and working as Denise. However, Julia has been very supportive, encouraging me to live my life in whatever way gives me most happiness.’

‘Well you appear to have one ally at home, and your mother will probably be more enthusiastic once she sees how well you fit in to your new life at home and at work. Also she can't have been that antagonistic if she has bought you some high-heeled shoes and a handbag for your birthday, and loaned you some valuable jewellery,’ added Samantha.

Denise smiled

‘‘No, I suppose not. I couldn't have expected any better outcome from my first meeting with her.’

‘Exactly, so now it is up to you to build on those foundations. Keep in touch with her on the telephone, tell her what you're doing, or the clothes you're wearing, invite her up to London for the day, let her see the advantages of having a second daughter.’

‘I'll try,’ answered Denise.

Then changing the tone of the conversation she added, ‘Actually I've been thinking a lot about my situation over the weekend.’

‘Oh yes, and what have you decided?’

‘As you know, I've been enjoying myself living and working as Denise, and staying in your flat. I'm going to take full advantage of my present situation and not worry about the future or what people might think of me.’

‘I agree, you're doing fine at work and at home when you're in female company but you ought now to start getting out some more and meeting some young men. You can’t go round looking as good as you do without attracting some attention from the opposite sex.’

Denise didn't answer remembering her forthcoming date with John.

‘If I do ever go out with a guy he would have to know all about me, and Denis. I don’t want to mislead anyone.’

‘Yes, it could be quite a shock if a guy who didn't already know about you was to try and get into your knickers,’ said Samantha laughing.

Denise blushed, so Samantha changed the subject.

‘By the way I saw my cousin John over the weekend, he's getting ready to move down to London later this week’ she added.

‘Yes, I know. He sent me a text message whilst I was away,’ answered Denise, still blushing a little.

‘Actually, I was with him on Friday evening when he texted you. I hope you don’t mind my sticking my nose into your affairs but it was me that encouraged him to get in touch with you again.’

‘You do seem to want to steer my life in one direction, but I suppose I’ll forgive you as you were so kind when Julia came to stay last week.’

‘My cousin may seem fairly confident on the surface but actually he's quite unsure of himself and will need your encouragement.’

‘That makes two of us.’

‘Exactly, so that's why I've been poking my nose into your affairs.'

‘Did he, tell you that we're going out to dinner together on my birthday?’ asked Denise.

‘No, that must have happened after I left him, but that’s great news, Denise, although I trust you aren't planning to go out on Friday night?’

‘Yes, that’s my birthday.’

‘Oh damn!’

‘What do you mean by that?’ asked Denise.

‘Sue and my sister have been organising a surprise birthday treat for you on Friday evening. We're all going to go out clubbing together. It didn’t occur to them that you might already have fixed yourself up with a hot date for that night.’

‘I just assumed that there would be a small cake during the coffee break, as usual.’

‘There will be, but Sue, Jane, Alison, and I are also planning to take you out dancing in the evening. We all feel that it's time that you started going out a little more.’

‘I thought Jane was feeling sick most days?’

‘Yes but that’s only in the mornings, she should be alright, as long as she stays off the alcohol. Don’t worry, I’ll be keeping a very careful eye on her’ said Samantha.

‘I'd enjoy going out dancing with a group of girls, but I've already agreed to go out with John and wouldn't want to let him down. What do you think I should do?’

‘I suppose he could always come along with us, although otherwise it will be an all female gathering.’

Denise experienced a fleeting moment of pleasure as she realised that Samantha had referred to her as female without giving the matter a second thought.

‘No, I don’t think so, I don’t want you lot to frighten him off before I've even got to know him,’ said Denise.

‘Do you want me to explain the situation to him?’ asked Samantha. ‘I'm sure he'd understand.’

Denise thought for a moment.

‘No, I'd better try and explain myself. He has promised to ring me this evening to make the final arrangements..’

‘So he hasn't made any specific arrangements yet?’

‘No, I don’t think so, it was just an agreement in principle to go out together.’

‘In that case it's important for you to take the upper hand in your relationship. Tell him that you're really sorry but you've only just discovered about Jane’s plans. You can say that you would far rather spend and evening alone with him than with your workmates, but it would let so many people down if you pulled out. Now that he has asked you out there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't suggest your going out together at another time. I'm sure he'll feel flattered.’

‘Alright I hope you're right.’

‘By the way Denise, you aren't supposed to know anything about Sue and Jane’s plans and must appear to be surprised when they tell you on Friday, and so you'd better say as much to John in case he should say something to Jane.’

---

Denise was nervous when John rang that evening as he'd promised, but explaining the situation to him proved not as difficult as she'd imagined. She found it relatively easy to sound as if she'd been looking forward to going out with him, but felt she couldn't let so many of her colleagues down.

‘Perhaps we could go out together on the Saturday or Sunday evening instead?’ she asked.

He sounded genuinely disappointed.

‘I'm afraid I've already arranged to collect the last of my things in Birmingham on Saturday and will be returning late on Sunday. However, I could be free any time over the following weekend if you want.’

‘Alright Saturday 24th it is, and I make a solemn promise not to let you down this time. I’ll even wear the new outfit bought for me by mother and sister.’

‘I'm sure you'll look lovely in whatever you choose to wear, but may I see you briefly sometime next Friday, as I want to give you my birthday present?’ he asked.

‘That's very kind, I wasn’t expecting a birthday present from you’ she said, sounding pleased but surprised.

‘Well it's too late to tell me now that I’ve already bought it. I wouldn't have been able to take you out on your birthday without buying you something,’ he said.

‘Thank you. In that case you would be welcome to call at the office at lunch time, if that is convenient? I'll arrange with Sue to take a full-hour that day so we can go out and have a sandwich together.’

‘Good, I’ll see you about 1.00 pm, and then I'll probably drive up to Birmingham on the Friday evening.’

‘By the way, neither you nor I is supposed to know anything about Jane’s plans to take me out on Friday evening, so please don't say anything about them when you see her.’

‘It is just as well that I hadn’t told her that I'd asked you out myself,’ he said.

‘Yes, but you can now tell both your cousins that we are going out together the following weekend if you like, since they seem to take such an active interest in our social lives.’

---

The next three days passed fairly uneventfully both at home and at work. Denise had long chatty telephone conversations with her mother and sister in the evenings, and sent another email to Angela in Singapore. Progress at work continued to go smoothly and the two models and their photographer put in some extra hours as they planned to hold a small tea party for Denise on Friday afternoon. They also re-arranged the work schedule on Friday so she would be able to take a longer break to see John before he went to Birmingham. John had clearly mentioned to Jane that he had asked Denise out as this became the main topic of gossip at work for a few days. Denise was embarrassed by a few of the questions and comments, but everyone was pleased for her.

---

On Thursday afternoon, after they had finished their modelling, Jane enquired about Denise’s breast forms, and was told that she'd taken them off for a few hours the previous weekend.

‘So you managed to put them back on by yourself.’

‘Yes I think they're alright.’

‘Would you like me to check on them for you?’

Denise took her top and bra off and lay down on the couch in the studio. Jane looked carefully and then felt round each one.

‘They appear to be still attached securely, and there's no sign of any soreness. How do they feel?’

‘Ok, I suppose. They aren't itchy or sore, and I'm getting quite used to having them. It would now feel a little odd to be without them,’ answered Denise.

‘In that case I see no harm in your leaving them in place for another couple of weeks, but perhaps you ought to take them off for a few hours every three weeks or so.’

‘Very well, if I have to,’ said Denise. ‘I don't want to create any sores on my skin.’

‘Of course if you were planning to stay as Denise long term, you could always consider silicone implants,’ suggested Jane in an offhand way.

‘I don’t think I'm ready to consider anything quite so permanent’ she answered.

‘Suit yourself’, said Jane.

---

Samantha had warned Denise that she would probably hear nothing more about the plans being hatched by her colleagues for Friday evening until her birthday on the 16th July, and made her promise to play dumb and to act surprised when she did hear about them.

‘What are you doing this weekend Samantha?’ asked Sue as they were getting changed after work on Thursday evening.

‘Jane has invited me to stay with her for the weekend as her cousin will be away and this will probably be the last opportunity I'll get to stay with her. We thought we might go out shopping for the new baby on Saturday.’

‘How about you Denise, what are your plans?’ she asked.

‘I've nothing in particular planned. My sister is still in Norwich and Samantha will be away.

‘What about this new boyfriend of yours?’

‘Well, for one thing he isn't really my boyfriend and, as you've just heard, he'll be in Birmingham for the weekend.

‘That’s a pity, but since you've no other plans would you like to come and stay with Alison and myself for the weekend? I'm afraid we won’t be doing very much, and Alison is going out with her boyfriend on Saturday night, but at least you won’t be spending your birthday on your own,’ said Sue.

‘Alright then, I should like that. I'll bring a change of clothes to work with me tomorrow.’

Denise went to bed early on the night before her birthday, but lay in bed for some time thinking about everything that had happened during her nineteenth year. The first ten months of the year had been eventful enough — Denis had left school, found himself a job in London, moved into his own bedsit, and begun working for Helen. However, these events were nothing compared to the enormous the changes to his or her life during the last two months. He now had a new job, new living accommodation, a new name, new identity, new friends and even a new gender! What would the next two months have in store? She then remembered Jane’s casual comment about whether she was planning to stay as Denise long term, and the implications of having breast implants. Was that what she wanted? She didn't know what to think. The idea frightened and repelled her but at the same time attracted her. It was with this unresolved conundrum in mind that she eventually fell asleep.

(Next time Denise’s nineteenth birthday.)

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 1

Birthday girl

Samantha was up and ready half an hour early on the Friday morning and so whilst her housemate was in the shower and putting on her makeup she was able to prepare them some breakfast.

‘Happy birthday Denise!’ she said as her friend emerged from her bedroom. ‘So now you've only one more year left as a teenager!’

Denise smiled.

Samantha kissed her on the cheek and handed her an envelope. Inside there was a large ‘girly’ birthday card. Denise smiled at the wording on the card and thanked her, then noticed there was another smaller envelope inside.

‘What’s this?’ she asked.

‘It’s your birthday present. It's a special promotion I saw in the newspaper - two people to have bed and breakfast in a posh Brighton hotel. However, you'll need to get your skates on as it is only valid for Saturday nights in July.’

‘Thank you, but that only leaves 31st July as I'm staying with Sue and Alison tomorrow and have promised to go out with John on 24th. Would that date be ok for you?’

Samantha sighed.

‘It wasn't intended for me to go with you. I thought you might like to invite my cousin,’ she answered.

‘Hang on a minute, I don’t want to go sharing a bedroom with him, when we hardly know one another,’ said Denise, a little put out by her friend’s suggestion.

‘You wouldn’t have to share a bed, if you didn’t want to; the rooms all have twin queen-sized beds.’

‘But it still could get embarrassing.’

‘Not if you made it clear to him exactly where you both stood at the outset,’ said Samantha. ‘I felt bad that we spoiled your date with John tonight and thought it might be an ideal opportunity for you two to have a little privacy to get to know one another. You can’t easily bring him back here with his cousin hovering in the background, and you can’t go to his place as he will be staying with Jane for a while. At least give the idea some consideration, and if you really don't want to risk going with him then I'll go with you on the 31st.’

‘Alright, I’ll think about it, but in any event thanks for the present,’ replied Denise giving her friend a kiss.

‘What clothes for the weekend are you planning to take in to work with you?’ asked Samantha.

‘I don’t know really, I can’t take anything too dressy or else it will give away that I know that we're all going out together.’

‘You're right, take fairly ordinary clothes, I'm sure Sue and Jane will have foreseen that problem and will probably offer to lend you something to wear once they tell you where they're planning to take you tonight.’

---

They had to leave home before the post arrived and so Denise would have to wait to see if there were cards from Norwich. However, during the course of their journey, her mother phoned to wish her a happy birthday and wanted to know how she intended to spend the evening. This was followed by a call from Julia asking the same question.

‘I've been invited by various colleagues to go out clubbing — a true girls’ night out,’ she told Julia.

‘But what about this John, isn’t he taking you out?’

‘I’ll be seeing him briefly at lunchtime today, but we're planning to go out together next weekend.’

‘In that case good luck for next week, and in the meanwhile have a great time yourself this evening.’

Once she arrived at work Denise was greeted with cards from all her colleagues.

As Sue handed over her card she said, ‘Alison and I have both got a present for you but we will hand them over tonight when we're both there.’

‘Thank you,’ answered Denise smiling.

She put her various cards on display on her desk, noting with pleasure that they were all feminine ones that acknowledged her adopted gender. She then went to get changed so they could get on with their day’s work.

---

Helen came in during their coffee break with a cream cake and a couple of gift-wrapped boxes.

‘Here you are Denise, happy birthday, these are for you,’ she said handing them over.

Denise opened the boxes and found some tight pink leggings, a glittery halter top, and a pair of high heeled strappy sandals. It went through her mind that there had been some discussion by her colleagues and that this was the outfit that they were expecting her to wear in the evening.

She smiled and thanked Helen whilst at the same time asked herself, how on earth she would be able to wear the leggings without giving herself away with bulges below the waistline?

‘Helen, you've already given me a couple of outfits to wear’ she said.

‘I know, but that was back in May, I usually give my employees some clothes on their birthday; free samples are one of the perks of working in the fashion business.’

‘Thank you; you're very generous,’ said Denise.

‘No, I want to thank you! I know how hard you've been working recently and that we've made excellent progress in photographing the stock. In fact I'd like you to take a break from modelling next week and help me to launch the first phase of the web site. Sue tells me that she'll have plenty of work with Samantha on her own.’

‘All right, but you understand that I'll still be coming in to work dressed as Denise.’

‘Yes of course, it wouldn't make any sense to change back into a man just for a few days.’

---

John arrived punctually at 1.00 pm but they had not finished the morning’s work. Denise was uncertain how she should react to him in front of the others, who all now knew that she would be going out with him. However, she plucked up courage and when he wished her a happy birthday she kissed him briefly on the lips. They both blushed as she did so.

‘Would you mind waiting for five minutes whilst we finish this job?’ she asked smiling sweetly. ‘You can talk to Jane.’

‘No problem,’ he replied.

At last she was ready to leave and the couple went off to get some lunch at a nearby coffee bar.

‘This is for you, I hope you like it,’ he said handing over a package neatly wrapped in silver paper with a pink bow.

Inside Denise found a blue/grey silk lingerie set. She gasped in surprise and then held them up to examine them.

‘I hope you don’t think that they're too personal for a gift; I could always change them if you don't like them,’ he said hesitantly.

‘No, I think they're a lovely gift. Thank you very much. A girl can never have too many nice underclothes,’ she answered, and leaned across to kiss him on the cheek.

‘It was Samantha’s suggestion, and Jane ordered them for me through your work. I would never have known what to get you, and in any event would never have the courage to go into a shop and buy something like this,’ he replied.

‘Yes I thought your present bore the hallmarks of your two cousins, the colour exactly matches my new dress.’

‘And your eyes,’ he added.

Denise didn't answer, but he could see she was pleased that he'd noticed.

‘Are we still ok for next Saturday night?’ he asked.

‘Yes of course,’ she answered sweetly, ‘I am really looking forward to it.’

‘Good.’

She hesitated for a second before responding.

‘In fact I was wondering whether you would like to spend next weekend at Brighton with me?’ she asked tentatively.

‘What do you have in mind?’

She explained about the hotel offer.

‘If you drive us down and pay for our dinner and a nightclub, I'll provide the bed and breakfast. But please don’t get the wrong idea, it'll be twin beds. I'm not planning to sleep with you after our first date.’

He blushed, but looked quite pleased.

‘I understand, and yes, I'd love to go with you. Perhaps we can have a look around Brighton on the Sunday as well before we go home?’

‘That would be fine by me.’

She was about to add, ‘and I may even wear my new lingerie when we go out on Saturday night’, but stopped herself in case it gave him the wrong idea.

‘Thank you. That will more than make amends for cancelling our date tonight.’

‘I’ll go ahead and book the hotel then,’ she said, blushing a little.

‘See if you can find a nice restaurant on the Internet as well whilst you are at it. If you let me know where you would like me to take you, I'll make the arrangements’ he said.

‘I’ll find a restaurant, but you can choose a club,’ she replied.

‘Alright, but it may not be easy for me to see you again before next weekend as I'm now going to Birmingham and my new job is likely to keep me pretty busy next week. However, I’ll telephone you over the weekend if I may.’

‘I'd like that,’ she replied. ‘And don’t worry if you want to contact me next week, from the sound of things I'll be spending much of next week sitting at my computer rather than modelling clothes.’

‘Maybe we can exchange emails and text messages in that case.’

Denise had to return to her work and John needed to leave for Birmingham before the motorway became too busy, so they finished their coffees and went their separate ways after briefly exchanging another kiss on the lips.

---

‘So what did you think of John’s birthday present?’ asked Samantha as they were getting changed for the next photographic session.

‘Very nice, but I don’t think he would have chosen it without a fair amount of guidance from his cousins,’ Denise answered smiling.

‘Sorry if it seems as if Jane and I are always interfering, but we only want you to get over your inhibitions about having a good time as Denise.’

‘We'll have to see, but I've arranged for John to come with me to Brighton on Saturday week.’

‘Good for you!’

---

By the end of the afternoon none of her younger colleagues had said anything about their going out together during the evening and Denise was even wondering whether the arrangements had been cancelled. As soon they were finished work Samantha left with her sister but Sue had to finish downloading the last batch of pictures. Denise therefore stayed on to help, and it was almost 6.00 pm before they arrived at the Sue’s home. As they entered the flat, Alison, Jane and Samantha suddenly appeared from various hiding places.

‘Surprise!’ they said in unison.

‘Happy birthday Denise,’ said Alison, giving her a kiss and handing her a card.

Before she could answer Jane came forward to speak.

‘We all think that you need to get out and enjoy yourself more, so we're taking you out clubbing this evening.’

‘So that was the reason for the leggings and halter top. They didn't strike me as being the sort of thing that Helen might choose.’

‘It was our suggestion, especially for this evening,’ answered Jane.

‘The only trouble is those leggings will be bound to show off a tell-tale bulge between my legs,’ she replied.

‘Ah, but we've foreseen that problem, and that's where my present will come into its own’ said Sue, handing over a small package.

Denise opened the package and found a small, belt like garment.

'What is it?’ she asked intrigued.

‘It is called a gaff, it is a means of tucking your dangly bits away out of sight, so you can wear tight clothes without giving the game away. They're worn by female impersonators. I have made four of them for you; two to wear when you go out and two others to use at work when we begin to model leggings and tight skirts. I'll have to show you how to use it if you don't mind.

Before Denise could answer, Alison chipped in.

‘I’ve got you a special pair of padded control pants which will flatten your belly whilst at the same time enhancing your hips and bum,’ she said handing over her present.

‘And I’ve bought you a basque to hold in your waist and give you an hour-glass figure,’ said Jane.

Denise took the offered gifts and opened them, and thanked the respective donors.

‘Why do I get the distinct impression that my friends regard me as their full-sized Barbie doll?’

‘In that case we will have to look out for a full-sized ‘Ken’ for you tonight,’ commented Alison.

‘Don’t worry, Samantha and I've already got that in hand,’ said Jane.

‘I hope he comes better equipped than the real ‘Ken‘, added Alison.

Denise blushed.

Come on then Barbie, you can have a quick shower and then come through to my bedroom with your presents and we'll get you sorted out down below,’ said Sue.

Ten minutes later Denise emerged, dressed only in a blue housecoat borrowed from Sue.

Sue went to the freezer in her kitchen and took out a plastic ice cream carton that had been inside

‘Ok Denise, would you mind inserting your unwanted organ into this sheath and attach the belt round your waist.

Denise did as she was told. The tip of her penis emerged from the end of the sheaf, and a thin strap hung down below.

‘I'm afraid that I'm going to need to touch your scrotum, but I’ll be wearing rubber gloves,’ said Sue.

‘Sue this is rather embarrassing, can’t I just tuck it in my pants as I usually do.’

‘No, as you've said yourself, you wouldn't be able to do it well enough to wear tight leggings without showing a bulge. To do that you will have to push up the testes into the cavity in your body, then we can fold back your penis and scrotum much more effectively, and hold them in place with the gaff. I can show you how to do it this time and thereafter you will be able to do it for yourself’

‘Won’t it do me an injury?’

‘No the testes sometimes naturally go back inside your body if you are very cold or when you are under stress, but they should always descend again without any trouble.’

‘What if I need to go to the toilet when my penis is held back?’

‘According to an article on the internet on the subject, you should be able to urinate in that position with a little practice, but of course you'll have to sit down to do so. Now this is going to feel rather cold for a few minutes, but it shouldn't hurt.’

She took out an ice cold cooling bag from the plastic carton and held it on to his testicles. After a minute or so she replaced it with another one from the same box. A minute or so later she quickly felt the scrotum and could find no trace of the testes, and so Sue pulled the strap between her legs and attached it to a clip at the rear of the belt. The strap had an adjustor, which Sue proceeded to tighten until the penis was held securely out of sight. Only the tip emerged from the end.

‘How does it feel?’ she asked.

‘Not as uncomfortable as I thought'’ answered Denise.

‘Good, in that case you can put on your padded pants and then Jane can help you to put on the basque she has bought for you.'

‘Before I do, let me first see if I can go to the toilet when I am trussed up like this.

Five minutes later she emerged from the toilet.

‘Any luck?’ asked Sue.

‘It took a little time to come, but did so eventually, and it was not uncomfortable. I’ll have to be careful to wipe it afterwards as I can no longer shake the drips away’ she answered.

---

Denise put on a pair of her own knickers and then the padded control briefs, so that there was no longer any indication that she was wearing the gaff. She had never worn a basque before and required Jane’s assistance to put it on for the first time. It was tight and a little constricting but certainly improved the look of her waistline.

‘You won’t need the suspenders for tonight as you'll be wearing the leggings and sandals’ said Jane as she detached them, but don’t lose them as the next time you may want to have stockings.’

Denise then put on her new leggings, the halter top and strapped on her sandals and looked at herself in Sue’s full length mirror. There was no trace of any bulge, and she was glad that she'd recently painted her toenails as these looked most attractive with the sandals. Sue came in once again to see how she was progressing.

‘Just give me a quarter of an hour to put on some more make up and fix my hair before we leave.’

‘In the event it took her a full half hour, as she went to considerable trouble over her makeup, using a satin finish lipstick, three shades of eye shadow and a couple of coats of mascara to set off her eyes. Eventually at 9.15pm she stepped into the living room where the others were waiting having just finished getting themselves ready.

‘Is there any trace of a bulge?’ asked Denise.

‘None at all, you look fine’ answered Samantha, ‘so let us go and hit the town.’

---

The evening of Denise’s nineteenth birthday was therefore spent out with four of her female friends, visiting a number of nightclubs, having a good laugh and dancing with various guys, but nobody was looking for any relationship. Everyone had fun, and nobody had too much to drink, out of deference to Jane, who was already a little concerned about the alcohol she had consumed immediately prior to, and after her wedding, at a time when she must have been pregnant. At first Denise found it quite difficult to dance wearing her new outfit, but gradually got used to what she was wearing and was happy to join in the fun fully confident that she would not give herself away. Eventually at about 2.00 am the party broke up and the participants went to their respective homes or places they were staying for the weekend.

(Next time Denise embarks on a path that could lead to some far-reaching changes.)

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 2

Getting ready for a date

Sue slept late the following next morning, as she often did on Saturday mornings, and so Denise and Alison were left to have a leisurely breakfast together. Inevitably their conversation concerned the events of the previous evening.

‘Well young lady, did you enjoy yourself last night?’ asked Alison.

‘Yes thanks. I had a really great time. It was a lot of fun getting dressed up to go out dancing with a bunch of girls’.

‘I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. You're also getting to be a good dancer’.

‘Thanks; now that I've got used to wearing heels, I find I can dance in them as well.’

‘So how did you get on wearing the gaff?’ asked Alison.

‘Not too bad for the bulk of the time, in fact I've put one on again this morning. The only problem I had was when that bloke I was dancing with tried to kiss me. I didn't fancy him, but nevertheless I found that my brain was frantically sending signals down below to pump some blood into my poor member, but it was strapped down and there was nowhere for it to go. I felt as if I might explode. In the end I had to go to the ladies put my hands in cold water and force myself to think about other things until the urges subsided.’

‘What happened to the bloke?’ said Alison laughing.

‘By the time I emerged from the ladies he'd found someone else to dance with, I was relieved to discover.’

‘You can always tell any guy that hits on you to get lost — most of them half expect it,’ added Alison.

Denise suddenly became quite thoughtful.

‘Yes I know, but what will I do if I quite like the guy in question?’

‘You mean what are you going to do when you go to Brighton next weekend?’

Denise blushed.

‘Yes, I suppose I do.’

‘You don’t have to wear the gaff.’

‘I know, but it won’t be very sexy if we get into a clinch and we both get a hard on at the same time.’

It was now Alison’s turn to blush a little.

‘It isn't a problem that I've ever had to face Denise.’

‘It's a new phenomenon for me as well. It looks as if I'm beginning to turn into a guy after all. Puberty is beginning to kick in, albeit five years late. The next thing will be my voice starting to break and my having to shave every day.’

‘I'm not sure about that, you certainly don’t look or sound like a guy,’ said Alison soothingly.

‘Or feel like one, for that matter. Over the last few weeks I've really begun to discover my true self, and now just as I'm coming to terms with who I want to be, my body is going to start playing tricks on me.’

‘Denise, I think you will need to consult a psychiatrist first, but there are tablets that you can take to prevent you getting an erection and block the effects of male puberty,’ said Alison.

‘How do you know all this?’ asked Denise.

‘I work for a pharmaceutical company and we have a database that lists the side-effects of different drugs. When Sue suggested that we got you a gaff I did some background research to see how professional female impersonators dealt with the problem’ replied Alison.

‘So what do professional impersonators do?’

‘Well it is difficult to generalise but some of them take female hormones, or androgen blockers but you need to be very careful as if you take them for too long they could change your body permanently.’

‘Such as growing my own boobs.’

‘That might well happen if you started to take large doses of oestrogen but I was actually referring to an androgen blocker such as Aldactone which prevents the signals from the brain from reaching your penis.’

‘What would happen if I started to take that?’

‘In the short term, probably not a lot other than it would solve your erection problem, but if you continued to take them for several months there could be longer term or even permanent effects.’

‘Such as?’

‘Well you're clearly a very late physical developer, and although you'll probably not now grow any taller, the testosterone that is being produced by your body will gradually make you more manly looking over the next few years. Taking an androgen blocker would certainly slow down or perhaps even stop that process. In the short term they would probably do you no harm, but if you took too many it could make you impotent.’

‘I've been wondering about the possibility of taking hormones,’ said Denise. ‘Is there anywhere I can get more information on their long-term effects?

‘I’ll show you some web sites if you wish, but I suggest that you think very carefully before taking oestrogen and also get some professional advice in case you do any permanent damage or find yourself going down a path from which you are unable to return.’

Denise sighed.

‘It's just that these days I feel so much more alive and comfortable in myself living and working as a woman than I ever did as a man.’

‘I never knew Denis, but Sue tends to agree and thinks that you're a more interesting person to know since you became Denise. But I'm not going to advise you about whether or not to start taking hormones - only you can decide that — preferably with psychiatric and medical advice.’

‘I know Alison, but I should like to find out more information on the subject, but don’t worry I won't be doing anything rash.’

---

Their conversation moved on to other things until at about 11.00 am Denise’s telephone rang. She looked at the display and saw that it was John.

‘Hi John, how are you on this lovely day?’ she asked cheerfully.

‘Fine thanks, I just wondered how your birthday bash went last night?’ he asked.

‘It was really good fun — a true girls’ night out - but everyone behaved themselves including your two cousins,’ she replied.

‘I'm not worried about my cousins; they're old enough to look after themselves. But did you have a good time?’

‘Yes thanks, although I did feel a little guilty about putting you off,’ she answered.

‘Don’t worry Denise, you can make it up to me next weekend.’

‘Maybe, but we’ll have to see how you behave, in the meanwhile.’

They chatted together in a similar tone for a few minutes and then he rang off.

Alison sat quietly until she'd finished her call and then commented ‘it sounds as if you're quite taken with him.’

Denise blushed slightly and shrugged.

‘He has always accepted me as I am, without any question, and I quite liked him when we met at Jane’s wedding. I just wish that his cousins would stop trying to push us together.’

‘So are you sure you're ready to go out with a guy?’

If I'm going to live as a girl for the rest of the summer, I may as well go the whole hog and find myself a boyfriend.’

‘You should do whatever you think is right for you, and not be influenced by anyone else,’ said Alison.

‘I just hope everything works out alright for us next weekend.’

‘Would you like me to get you some Aldactone?’

‘Yes please, but I would rather you didn't mention it to the others until I know what I'm going to do in the longer term.’

‘Alright, but please be careful and make sure that you've read up on the subject before you start to take them on a regular basis.’

Denise handed over £30, which Alison said would be more than enough for a month’s supply.

---

Ten minutes later Sue emerged from her bedroom.

‘What would you like to do today Denise? I have to go food shopping and pick up my dry cleaning, but otherwise I'm free.’

‘Why don’t I cook us all dinner and then we can stay in and spend the evening watching some of your girly videos?’

‘I'll stay for dinner’ said Alison, ‘but I'ave arranged to meet my boyfriend this evening.’

‘Your idea is fine by me and we can give one another a facial at the same time,’ replied Sue.

---

The three of them went out shopping together at the local food market, and in the afternoon Denise began to prepare their evening meal whilst Sue and Alison caught up with cleaning their flat. Sue and Denise spent their evening giving one another beauty treatments and watching sentimental movies. One odd thing was that Denise suddenly realised that she was now identifying with the heroines of these films, feeling happy or sad for them found, or annoyed when they did something stupid, even looking critically at the clothes they were wearing. She even allowed herself to shed a tear at the emotional scenes — something that Denis would previously have struggled to stop himself from doing.

‘I enjoyed going out dancing last night, bur in a different way I've had just as much fun staying in this evening,’ commented Denise with her hair in rollers and her face covered in green goo.

‘Maybe so, girls can be affectionate friends with one another, but it isn't the same as having a boyfriend, to take you out and treat you like a real lady,’ answered Sue.

‘No I suppose not. In that case we'll both have to get ourselves fixed up.’

---

The following day Denise left Sue's flat after an early lunch claiming that she needed to do some laundry. However, as soon as she returned to the empty flat she got out her laptop and started to look for information from the web about the effects and dangers of taking various hormones. She read for a couple of hours and then transferred some pages on to her data stick to look at later. Samantha arrived back from her sister’s house late on Sunday night and the two friends just had time for a brief chat recounting their experiences on Friday evening and comparing notes about their respective weekends before going to bed.

---

On Monday morning Denise took care with her hair and makeup knowing that she would not be modelling for a few days and so would not get much opportunity to look at herself in the mirror to fix them during the day. She also put on one of the gaffs given to her by Sue, as she wanted to get used to wearing them and going to the toilet with one on. It was now a full month since they had started work on the catalogue, which was one-third of the time budgeted for. Sue had calculated that they had completed work on not quite a quarter of the stock, so it did not take a mathematical genius to realise that they would not be finished by the time Samantha went back to University. Nevertheless Helen appeared pleased with the progress made and was anxious to launch the incomplete web site as quickly as possible. Thus Denise spent her week mounting the existing catalogue on the web site and setting up the required links. The work involved sitting at a computer screen for much of the day. In order to relieve the boredom, whenever she had the opportunity to do so, she exchanged affectionate text messages with John, via the messaging system. He was also in process of learning a new job and so was spending a fair amount of time at his own computer screen.

---

The new website launched on Tuesday 20th July 2004 and once it was up and running Denise sent out large numbers of emails to their customers, in Helen’s name, alerting them to the developments and inviting them to sample and comment. Midway through the morning Sue handed her a small package, which she said was from Alison. Fortunately it was obvious that Denise was pressed for time and Samantha was just changing for the next picture, so there was no time for Sue to ask any awkward questions about the package. Denise thanked her and put the box in her handbag before returning to her computer screen. Shortly afterwards she took a toilet break and swallowed the first of the pills, deciding that she would take one a day until the weekend and then re-assess how she felt.

---

That evening Samantha was due to go out with some friends from university. She had tried to persuade Denise to go with her, but the latter was looking forward to an evening on her own, both to think about the package that was sitting in her handbag and also to read through all of the documents she had downloaded the previous Sunday and had printed at work the previous day. Thus she spent her evening reading about the role of oestrogens and anti-androgens, and the effects that they had on the body. In fact there were enough Aldactone tablets to last her for the two months, that her contract had left to run if she decided to take one each day as recommended. Having taken the first tablet that morning she half expected something dramatic to happen. Nothing did. She felt no different. Clearly any changes that took place would be gradual.

---

On the Wednesday evening she and Samantha had a long chat over their evening meal and it was their first opportunity to catch up with one another’s news since the previous weekend since they had both been so busy in the office. Denise explained about her work on the website and how things seemed to be going quite well.

‘This afternoon we've received the first positive feedback and electronic orders from customers. If we continue without a hitch, I think this could change the whole nature of Helen’s business,’ commented Denise.

‘Good, Sue and I also made quite good progress today’, replied Samantha.

‘How have you found modelling on your own this week?’

‘It's surprisingly hard work to be constantly in the limelight. I still enjoy it but I think I preferred it when the two of us were working together’ she replied.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll be back next week, and no doubt I'll have my turn to work on my own after you've left us.'

‘Yes, actually Denise there was something that I wanted to discuss with you on that matter.’

‘What's that?’

‘Have you given any thought to what you intend to do once I go back to University in the third week of September?’ she asked.

‘Not really, I guess I’ll revert to my previous job at work, although there's now likely to be more for me to do relating to the web site and ordering system.’

‘What about your living accommodation?’

‘Well I should like to remain here for as long as you'll let me. I believe there will be enough work to employ me as Denise until the end of October.’

‘And then what?’

Denise thought for a moment, wondering whether to say what was in her mind or leave it until she had a clearer idea of what she wanted to do.

‘I don’t really know, I suppose I'll have to decide whether I would like to remain living as I am or else start looking for somewhere else to live.’

‘The trouble is that if you were to leave here at the end of October then I would have great difficulty in finding another lodger as all the students will be fixed up for the academic year, whereas if you were to leave just as the term was about to begin, as we originally agreed, I'd have no trouble in finding someone. In fact a couple of my friends are already looking for rooms for the next academic year.’

‘Oh, I didn’t realise that there would be a problem with me staying on’ said Denise.

‘Please don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy having you as a flat mate, and would love for you to stay on, but could it be for a little bit longer than the end of October — let us say to the end of the year?

‘You want me to stay on as Denise for the next five months?’

‘It could be longer if you wanted. You have all the clothes you need, and appear to enjoy living as Denise. I can't see Helen or any of your colleagues objecting if you did stay on for a few more weeks, particularly as they'll probably have some modelling work for you for part of that time as new designs are brought into stock.’

‘I don’t know Samantha, I've had a great time so far this summer, but will you let me have a week to think carefully about my future and whether I would rather stay here as Denise or find somewhere else to live as Denis?’

‘Yes of course, take until the end of the month to decide what you'd like to do, but I would like to know your plans by the beginning of August please.’

‘There's one thing though Sam. I like living and chatting with you, but in the longer term I'm going to need a little more privacy. There'll be some things that I won't want to discuss with you, or else will only want to discuss them when I 'm ready to do so., and you must accept that. Also, I would rather that you didn't keep seeking to engineer a relationship between me and your cousin.’

‘Oh, I am sorry if I seem to be interfering but I was just trying to be helpful.’

‘Maybe but there are some things I have to work out for myself without your help. I'll be seeing John this weekend and I'ill have to see how it works out.’

‘I hope you have such a good time with him that you'll want to remain his girl friend for the next few months.’

‘If I do, it will be my decision’ answered Denise.

‘Alright then, I understand.’

---

Denise took her fourth tablet on Friday morning and would continue with them daily. It was also becoming second nature for her to put on one of her gaffs each day and then rinse it out each evening.

John eventually rang her mobile — the first time they'd actually spoken to one another, since the previous Saturday.

‘Hello stranger’ answered Denise, ‘you haven’t telephoned me all week?’

‘Sorry, but I've been so busy, and was under the impression that you were pretty busy as well. In any event we have been exchanging messages?’ he replied.

‘Yes but anyone could have sent those messages — you might even have asked your secretary to reply to them’ said Denise, teasing.

‘Believe me; my secretary is middle-aged and quite fierce. There's no way that I'd ask her to do anything personal for me.’

‘Alright, I’ll believe you. So what can I do for your today?’

‘What are the arrangements for Saturday and Brighton?’

‘We can check into the hotel room any time after 3.00 pm, and I'll need an hour or so to get ready if we are going out on Saturday night, other than that there are no arrangements.’

‘In that case why don’t I collect you at about 10.00 am and then we can have lunch and a look around the town before checking into the hotel.’

‘That suits me, fine.’

---

Although they were only going away for two days, Denise took a lot of trouble on Friday evening in deciding exactly what she was going to wear on the journey to Brighton and the outfits that she would take with her, even down to her underwear and makeup. She was a little apprehensive about the weekend but also looking forward to it. She checked the weather forecast and learned that it was likely to be a fine weekend. That was good news since she liked to wear summer dresses and the outfit bought for her by her mother and sister would be fine for when they went out on Saturday night. At night she decided she wear the lacy pink nightdress given to her by Samantha two months before. Having decided what to wear she checked her legs and arms. It was a week since she had last de-fuzzed them and they were still pretty smooth, but she wanted to be absolutely sure that she would look her best for the weekend and so smoothed depilatory cream on them once more. She went to bed imagining what she would like to happen over the coming weekend.

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 3

Brighton

A Summer of Changes

by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 4

Where do we go from here?

In spite of having gone to bed so late and their energetic activities of the night before, Denise woke up at seven a.m. feeling refreshed and wide awake after only four hours of sleep. John, on the other hand, was still sleeping deeply. He had lost his pyjama trousers in the night and so she reached her hand across and gently stroked, then held, his penis. He stirred for a moment but quickly sank back into a deep sleep. Yet although he was unconscious Denise could feel the blood return to his member and it grow inside her grasp as a look of satisfaction appeared on his sleeping face. She felt a twinge of pleasure to know that she was responsible for this increase in his blood pressure and his enjoyable dreams, just as she had been responsible for allowing him to make love to her the night before.

As she lay next to him she tried to make sense of her feelings; both about herself and those towards this man lying in bed next to her. He was bigger and stronger than she was; he was several years older, somewhat more prosperous, better educated, had a better paid job than she had, and yet it was she who held the reins in their relationship. It was she who would decide when they would get up and go out, or indeed whether they would stay in bed and make love again. She would also decide how long their relationship would last, and when it was time for one or both of them to move on. She could even break his heart, if she ever chose to do so. Of course, she would, in time allow him to make some unimportant decisions - where it did not matter - just to give him the impression that he had a degree of control over their relationship. She was not in love with John, but she did quite like him and would not want to hurt him if it could be avoided.

What had brought about this remarkable change from the shy and awkward young man at the beginning of May? The answer was obvious. By adopting the clothing, appearance and mannerisms of a young woman, she had given herself enormous power without realising it. Denise thought back to two weekends ago, on the train to Norwich, where a young man had insisted on helping her to put her case on the luggage rack, although it was not really necessary, and in doing so he risked the irritation of his own girl-friend. She thought of the hotel desk clerk the previous day, making a fool of himself in front of his colleague, just so that he could serve her. She smiled as she recalled various other incidents over the last few weeks where men had gone out of their way to be helpful or even to be noticed by her. An attractive young woman had power and influence over members of the opposite sex, whereas Denis had been ineffective and overlooked. Hitherto, she had tended to avoid male company, partly because she had always found men’s conversation to be a little dull, and until very recently she had lacked the necessary self-confidence to be able to deal with them as a woman. But that was in the past, now she was happy to have some male company for a change, having spent the last few weeks almost entirely with females. She must learn how to make the most of the power so unexpectedly given to her. She had also noticed, as they went out clubbing the previous evening, that the mere fact of having a male escort to fetch her drinks or hold open the door for her, somehow gave her more status as a woman.

Of course that the power given to her would not last for ever; it was entirely dependent on her looks, which, in her case, would probably disappear faster than for a genetic woman, as her body began to produce more testosterone. As a young man, Denis’s beard had been very light, and he had only ever shaved his face once a week, but that would soon begin to change. Now she carefully checked her face every night in private looking for any signs of growth, and found the task to be humiliating, whereas she thought nothing of spending an evening with her housemate waxing one another’s arms and legs. Likewise having to remove her breasts periodically was distasteful and demeaning and needed to be done in private. How much easier would her life be if she could transform herself into the woman that she was beginning to feel she should always have been in the first place?

She could now understand why older women invested in expensive cosmetic products and plastic surgery in an attempt to retain the power and influence of their youth. If they could do it, then why couldn’t she also do so, and at the same time take steps to prevent her from becoming more like a man? During the previous week she had investigated the Internet and identified several documents that showed her the extent to which this would be possible. She would at least have a good start with her androgynous features and build, upon which she might start to develop with the help of hormones and plastic surgery. She would never be able entirely to rectify what she now began to think of as nature’s mistake, but she was convinced that she would be able to live a successful life as a transgendered woman. It would undoubtedly be a long, difficult, and perhaps even a painful task, but she could now see clearly what she wanted from life, and wanted to begin as soon as possible. The next task must be to regularise her situation and to acknowledge herself as a pre-operative transsexual to her family, friends, workmates, and above all, to herself.

She had the Aldactone tablets which would prevent her testosterone from doing any more damage to her looks, but her supply would run out in a few weeks, and Alison had made it clear that she would not be able to keep supplying her without a doctor’s prescription. She must now return home, register with a specialist who would provide her with the drugs she needed and start to make plans for her new life. However, it was Sunday morning and was lying in a hotel bed in Brighton. She would never be able to find a doctor or make an appointment on that day. The man who had brought her there in his car was lying next to her. It would have been possible for her to quietly pack and leave and catch a train home, whilst he continued sleeping, but what would be the point? She had so far enjoyed her trip to Brighton and was determined to continue to do so.

She gently squeezed and released his penis until he began to stir, and then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

‘Wake up, sleepy head’, she said.

He smiled.

‘What time is it?’

‘It's nearly 8.00 am.’

‘Can’t I sleep a little longer, I was having a lovely dream, and we don't need to check out of the room until midday.’

‘No, it is a lovely day and there are things to be said, things to be done, and places to visit,’ she replied.

‘What sort of things?’ he asked, returning to full consciousness.

‘First of all I need us to talk about last night.’

‘What is there to say? It was great last night, I had a wonderful time. I hope you did so as well.’

‘Yes I did, but you must understand that nothing that happened in bed last night changes what was said earlier in the evening. I'll be your girlfriend, and maybe your lover for the summer, but that's all,’ she said seriously.

‘Oh! But I was half hoping you would use your prerogative to change your mind once again, as you did about sharing my bed.’

‘No John! I'm afraid that will not happen,’ she said feeling a little sorry for his disappointment, but never wavering in her determination.

‘But that's hardly fair on me‘, he said.

‘No, it isn’t, and in the longer term you would be better off finding someone else to go out with. However, I do like you a lot and am only trying to be honest with you. I'll be happy to go out with you for the remainder of the summer, and perhaps we may make love from time to time, if you wish, but nothing more. Take it or leave it?’

‘In that case I suppose I've no choice but to accept your offer.’

‘Good! Now you may make love to me once again, as you did last night.’

---

The couple eventually emerged from their room just before 10.30 and were just in time to catch a late breakfast before the dining room finished serving.

‘So what’s next on the agenda for today, another dose of the same after breakfast,’ said John jokingly.

‘Certainly not, answered Denise, as she took another Aldactone tablet. I don’t want to wear you out, and in any event we won’t have time. It may be possible for you to sling your clothes in a suitcase and be out of the room in five minutes, but I'm going to need some more time to do my hair and put on some more makeup,’.

‘You really don’t need to, you look lovely just as you are,’ said John.

‘That is kind of you to say so, but wearing makeup is as much about how you feel about yourself as it is about how you look. I'll need an hour to get ready and pack properly. Why don’t you stay in the lounge and read a newspaper. Then we can go and visit the ‘Royal Pavilion’ this afternoon.

---

They checked out of the hotel and found somewhere to leave the car for the rest of the day, and left their luggage in the boot. They did not bother with lunch and the rest of the day was spent enjoyably enough walking hand in hand as a couple tourists in the town. However, as time went on, Denise became increasingly pre-occupied with her own thoughts and particularly her decision to undergo full transition, leading to gender re-assignment surgery. Fortunately John was still feeling the warm glow of having had sex on several occasions with his beautiful companion, and so at first he did not notice that her mind was on other things from time to time. The more she thought about it, the more far-reaching the implications appeared to be, but not for one moment did she reconsider or have any doubts about the wisdom of what she was planning. Her first step would be to have a talk with Alison, who seemed to know a certain amount about the subject, and was also separate from her work. Denise did not want to tell anyone else for the time being until she had made contact with a therapist and knew something about the likely timetable and financial implications of her proposed course of action. Finally, as they were leaving the Royal Pavilion, at about 4.00 pm John eventually noticed that his questions weren’t being answered.

‘I asked if you wanted to go for a cup of tea?’ he asked again, slightly raising the volume.

‘Oh sorry! I was miles away; I was thinking about last night and this morning,’ she replied.

He smiled at the implied compliment.

‘Well, my lady, what would you like to do now?’

‘If you don’t mind, I would like to sit down for a while, I suddenly feel a little bit dizzy.’

‘Oh dear, are you ok, you have gone very pale,’ he said helping her to a seat in the park nearby.

‘I’ll be alright in a minute, I didn't get much sleep last night, I was rather too preoccupied,’ she replied.

‘Take it easy, I’ll get you a bottle of water’, he said, pointing to a café a few yards away.

He returned a few minutes later and she took a sip and seemed to regain some of the colour to her face.

‘John, I've had a wonderful time this weekend, but would you mind if we brought it to an end now and made our way back to London ? There's something I have to do this evening and I'd rather not be late to bed as I'm working in the morning.’

‘Oh! Alright then, if we must,’ he answered a little sadly, but not questioning her request.

She felt a little mean to be cutting their weekend short, but was anxious to talk to Alison as soon as possible, and in person. It would be far easier to do so on a Sunday evening than wait for another time later in the week when she might be working or planning to see her boyfriend.

‘However, it has been a great weekend, and so maybe we could go somewhere out of London next weekend?’ she said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

John beamed and confirmed that he would organise something over the next few days and then let her know the arrangements. The implication of his taking her out of London would be that they could once again share a bed together, something that would otherwise be difficult in their present living accommodation.

---

As John drove them back, firstly along the dual carriageway over the Sussex downs, and then on to the motorway past Gatwick Airport and through the outer London conurbation in Surrey, Denise sent a text message to Alison.

Hi Ally! Can we meet this eve? Urgnt mattr 2 discus! Lol Denise xx,

The reply came through after about five minutes.

My place 7+, hope nthng rong! Ally xx

She responded.

CU 7.30- nothing rong — jst need advice D

‘Who are you texting to?’ he asked.

‘None of your business,’ she thought to herself, but did not say as much as she did not want to burst his bubble of happiness. ‘

‘Just a girl friend, nothing for you to worry about.’

She reached across and gently stroked his earlobe, as he continued driving.

‘You will make us crash if you're not careful!’ he said laughing.

‘In that case you had better keep your eyes and your mind on the road and both hands on the steering wheel’, she answered mischievously.

‘I do love you Denise’, he said.

‘No you don’t’, she answered quickly, ‘but that doesn't mean we cannot have fun together this summer.’

---

John delivered her to Shepherd’s Bush by 6.30 pm, and after a five-minute goodbye kiss she managed to extricate herself and her suitcase.

‘Thank you for the meals this weekend, I’ve had a great time,’ she said.

‘Thank you for inviting me to Brighton, and for everything else,’ he replied. ‘It was worth being stood up on your birthday.’

‘In that case I’ll have to stand you up again some time,' she said laughing.

‘But not next weekend?’

'No, I promise to see you next weekend,’

‘I was also wondering whether we might also meet up mid-week?’ he asked tentatively.

‘Sorry John, I have too much to do this week,’ she replied, not wishing to commit to anything at this stage. ‘But I'm looking forward to next weekend and so please keep in touch by phone and email!’

‘Is there anywhere you would particularly like to visit, next weekend?’

‘No, you can choose, but there's just one favour I would like to ask of you’ she answered.

‘What is that?’

‘Can we both agree not to discuss the bedroom details of this weekend with either of your cousins?’

He laughed.

‘OK, that suits me, they are two lovely young ladies but they do like to interfere in other people’s lives.’

‘Exactly!’Thanks’.

---

Samantha had noticed John’s car arrive and was waiting for her friend in the flat.

‘Hi Denise, how was your weekend?’

‘It was great fun; an excellent idea for a birthday present thank you,’ she answered kissing her friend on the cheek.

‘But how did you get on with my cousin?’

‘Very well thanks, he was good company and yes we are seeing one another again next weekend, but I will have to tell you about it another time as I now need to get washed and changed and go out,’ she answered.

‘Oh, alright then,’ answered Samantha clearly disappointed with the response, but determined that she would find out more at a later date.

By 7.10 Denise had washed, changed and refreshed her makeup and was about to leave the flat once again.

‘That was quick. Are you going out with John again this evening?’ asked Samantha.

‘No we both have other things we need to do this evening,’ she replied. ‘I don’t think I'll be late, but don’t bother waiting up for me,’ she said and left the flat.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 5

Advice from Alison

Shortly before she arrived at the flat, Denise telephoned Alison to confirm that she was on her way.
‘Would it be possible for us to meet outside somewhere, I would rather speak to you alone if that is ok?’ she asked.
‘Don’t worry Denise; there is no-one else here. Sue has gone out on a hot date with some guy she met at a photographic exhibition last week and I am not expecting her back for several hours. You may as well come up and we can share a bottle of wine together.’

Five minutes later she rang the doorbell and Alison invited her inside.

‘So you have at last decided to become a full-time member of the sisterhood,’ said Alison cheerfully as she poured two glasses.

‘How did you know that is what I wanted to talk to you about?’ asked Denise.

‘It was obvious since you were asking about female hormones last week and have just got back from a “dirty weekend” in Brighton with your new boyfriend.’

Denise blushed deeply.

‘It has nothing to do with my boyfriend, but I am seriously considering my future life, although I would rather the matter was not discussed with my workmates for the time being.’

‘Including Sue?’ said Alison.

‘Yes, just for the time being. You are the only person I could think of to discuss my future with. We do not work together nor are we related and you also seem to know something about the subject.’

‘Don’t worry, I promise to keep our conversation a secret. As to my knowing something about the subject, I suppose my work as a rep for a drug company has brought me into contact with some practitioners in the field, although I am hardly an expert’ she replied. ‘I did do a little background reading when I realised that this was the direction in which you were travelling.’

‘Has it been so obvious then?’

Alison smiled, knowingly.

‘Denise, it crossed my mind that this might be the outcome for you during that first weekend that we met back in May. Every time I have seen you since then I have been more convinced that my initial suspicions were right.’

‘Do the others think so as well?’

‘I have not discussed the subject with Sue or with any of your other friends when you were not present; but I can’t see it coming as a great surprise to anyone who has spent some time with you over the last few weeks.’

‘I suppose that is true, but I would still rather that you did not discuss this conversation with anyone else until I am clear in my own mind what I should do.’

‘Alright, then, but before I answer your questions, let me clarify a few points. First of all, are you talking about a sex-change operation or just to stay as you are full-time with the help of some hormones?’

‘I want to be able to live openly, successfully and permanently as a woman. I guess that will ultimately mean surgical intervention.’

‘You are already living quite successfully as a woman, so why do you want to go further?

‘It just feels the right thing for me. I want to carry on living and being accepted as a woman’.

‘You could probably do that without surgical intervention’.

‘Maybe but I hate having to pretend all the time. As far as possible, I want to have a woman’s body, and to experience the emotions of a woman.’

‘Any therapist will ask why you have decided now. Why was it not the right thing for you back in April, or this time last year?’

‘I don’t know exactly why things have come to a head at this time. It is as if once I dressed as a woman for the first time it opened a Pandora’s Box that cannot now be closed,’ she replied. ‘Something suddenly became apparent to me that was previously hidden, and I can never go back to how I was before.’

‘Exactly what was made apparent?’

‘That deep down in my soul I already was a woman, but a mistake had been made in the plumbing or the wiring somewhere along the line and something has caused me to bury this knowledge deep in my sub-conscious.’

‘I see,’ said Alison.

‘When I became Denise it was as if I were seeing the world in colour rather than black and white for the first time,’ continued Denise. ‘At first I told myself it was only temporary and that I could easily revert back to being Denis at any time I chose, but the more time that I spent as Denise the more I became addicted. After Jane’s wedding I wanted so much to continue living as a I was, but I was also frightened because I had enjoyed myself so much and it all felt so right for me. So I forced myself to change back into Denis, and go back to living a dreary life in a dreary room with no friends. However, fortunately fate was on Denise’s side and provided new opportunities for me to live and work as a woman.’

‘If I remember, Sue and I both encouraged you to remain as Denise for a while after the wedding.’

‘I know, and I wanted to agree with you but I also needed to discover for myself how much I preferred my life as a woman. As soon as I started my new job and moved in with Samantha I realised that this was how I was supposed to live my life. I may have maintained the myth with Samantha and my workmates that it will all come to an end in September but once my sister and my mother began to accept me as Denise it became inevitable that I would never go back.’

‘You are sure of that?’

‘I have never been so sure of anything in my life.’

‘So now you want to alter your body to correspond with the image have of yourself in your mind.’

‘I seem to be on the cusp between male and female. I may have the face and body size of a woman but I also have some of the physical attributes of a man. I hate the idea that the hormones I produce will gradually push me into manliness.

‘The Aldactone will slow that process down.’

‘Yes, but that is only part of the answer. I also hate having to wear these false breasts, which have to be removed once a month. It is so demeaning.’

‘That is nothing compared to what genetic women have to go through once a month,’ answered Alison a little acidly.

‘I know that, but I would be more than happy to accept all the inconveniences and disadvantages of being a woman in return for some of the advantages.’

‘And what are they?’ asked Alison, as if she did not know.

‘I suppose the ability to follow a gentler, friendly and caring lifestyle; not having to be so competitive and aggressive; the ability to have children.’

‘Some of those may be achievable for you, but the last never will.’

‘I know that. There is also the ability to look nice and to have fun experimenting with clothes, makeup hair styles etc, and the ability to attract members of the opposite sex and have them treat you well.'

‘I thought you said that this has got nothing to do with John and your recent trip to Brighton.’

‘Only in so far as it has helped to clear my mind, and reinforce my belief that I should have been a woman in the first place. I have had a good time this weekend playing at being the courtesan, but I am not in love with him and have told him so.

‘So what is your sexual orientation?’ asked Alison.

‘Utterly confused,’ answered Denise with a rueful laugh. ‘I do not know whether I am homosexual or heterosexual because I do not know where I am starting from. As a young man my behaviour was largely asexual, but I always enjoyed the company of women, and that is why I found my work to be so congenial. However, I do not know whether it was because I was attracted to women or subconsciously wanted to be one.’

‘But how have you felt since you have been living as a woman?

‘I enjoyed flirting with the lads when we went out clubbing together on my birthday. I also enjoyed the physical intimacy of having sex with John, but cannot say the earth moved for me. Having a boyfriend certainly adds an extra dimension to one’s life as a woman, but it is only “the icing on the cake”. My wish to live my life as Denise is far more fundamental than that.’

Alison for once looked very serious and the tone of her voice changed.

‘Be careful Denise, you may have perfected the art of putting on makeup doing your hair and flirting in front of the lads, but in many respects you are still very much a novice as a woman. OK so you may be able to flutter your eyelashes and have some guy eating out of your hand, but you need to make sure that you do not both get hurt in the process.’

Denise blushed.

‘I quite like John and think he has grown in confidence since we started going out together. But I have made it clear to him, that it is just a summer romance, and have been trying to keep everything under control.’

‘Again I warn you to be careful. You, above all, should know that guys are not always as tough as they think they are. Beautiful women, like you, have a lot of power: the respectable ones will use it responsibly. I think it was Kipling who described power without responsibility, as “the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages,”’ said Alison.

Denise looked towards the floor.

‘I will do my best to let him down gently when the time comes.’

---

Alison remained silent for a while. Denise continued to feel a little guilty about her weekend, but was still convinced about her future. At last Alison spoke.

‘From what I have seen and heard from you over the last few weeks I am convinced that you are doing the right thing, but my opinion does not matter. In order for you to proceed any further you will first have to convince a psychiatrist that you are genuinely suffering from gender dysphoria, and there will be no long term regrets once you start to make irreversible changes to your body. To be honest, I can’t see him or her being convinced by a desire to make such a fundamental change to your life that is based on only three months.’

‘I have been reading a great deal on the subject on the Internet over the last few weeks, and I think I realise what will be expected of me. I will tell the psychiatrist that I have felt as if I should have been a woman for as long as I remember, but I was frightened of how my family and friends would react, if ever I admitted it to them.’

‘So in that case, how will you explain your reasons for taking this action now?’ asked Alison.

‘I will say that my job and my new flat have proved to me that I can successfully live and work as a woman and I have also now dealt with my fears of telling my mother and my sister,’ answered Denise.

‘That will certainly count in your favour,’ said Alison. ‘Will you mention that you have a boyfriend?’

‘I won’t volunteer the information but will tell the truth if I am asked. However, I do not want the psychiatrist to think that I am wishing to change sex as a means of improving my sex-life.”

Alison smiled, and looked carefully at the young woman sitting opposite her.

‘I suppose you do have the enormous advantage of presenting as a convincing young woman already, and you would not need to undergo masses of plastic surgery, speech therapy or facial hair removal procedures, as long as you can begin your transition soon.’

‘Exactly, that is why I need to start on hormone therapy as soon as I can, in case puberty sets in and I start becoming more like a man and need to shave each morning.’

‘It is odd the puberty has not really had much effect on you as yet. Have you considered the possibility that you are intersex,’ said Alison.

‘Yes, I looked it up on the Internet and got the impression that I would have started growing my own breasts by now, if I had been intersex,’ replied Denise.

‘I don’t really know enough about the subject; that is something for the doctors to discover. However, if you do prove to be intersex then it should not be difficult to convince a psychiatrist to accept you as a patient and recommend you for corrective surgery on the National Health.’

‘Assuming you do not prove to be intersex, how will you pay for the treatment, once you are accepted as a patient?’

‘I have around  £2,500 in savings, and am due for a  £1,000 bonus at the end of September.’

‘Two thousand pounds will just about pay for your initial consultations and the hormones as a private patient, you will ultimately need to find about five times that sum if you have an operation and breast enhancement. You could ask to be accepted as a National Health Service patient, but then you would have to go on a long waiting list.’

‘Now that I have made my mind up I want to proceed as quickly as possible. Maybe I could get a part-time job in the evenings or at weekends to earn some more money.’

‘With your looks you would not find it difficult to get a job in a bar or a club, but keep away from anything that might be deemed as related to the sex trade.’

Denise smiled.

‘Don’t worry, I have no intention of selling my body, I just want to live as a normal decent woman and be recognised as such.’

‘You will also need to change your name on various official documents and open a bank account as Denise. Do you have a passport and driving licence?’ asked Alison.

‘No, not yet, I only have a national insurance number and a bank account as Denis.’

‘In that case as soon as you have been officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist as Gender Dysphoric you will need to go ahead and legally change your name to Denise. You can then start to collect official documentation and start to build your identity as a woman. Unfortunately you will not be able to change your birth certificate, but when you can prove that you have successfully lived as a woman for two years full-time you should be able to get a Gender Recognition Certificate, and then you will be recognised as a woman, for all official purposes.’

‘That would be nice, but I have never heard of a Gender Recognition Certificate,’ said Denise.

‘I am not surprised; the law only came into operation earlier this month.’

‘So can you put me in touch with a therapist, Alison?’

‘There is a private clinic not far from where you work. They will give you an initial consultation without charge, but after that they are very pricey and it will be up to the psychiatrist to decide how many sessions you require before he refers you to an endocrinologist. However, they are quite fair and if you are honest about your financial situation from the outset they may be willing to reduce their fee or let you pay over an extended time.’

She wrote down an address, telephone number and web site on a slip of paper and handed it to Denise.

‘Think very carefully before you go any further and do some more homework. There is a mass of advice available on the Internet these days.’

‘Alright, I will do so, but I am sure this is the right thing for me.’

‘In that case, good luck, and I have something for you.’

She handed over a small paper bag.

‘It is another month’s supply of Aldactone, just in case it takes you a little time to get an appointment. Have you noticed any side effects of taking them?’

‘No, nothing that I am aware of

‘You must promise not to tell anyone where you got them from or I could get into serious trouble and perhaps lose my job. Also you should stop taking them as soon as you receive the appointment with the endocrinologist so that they will no longer be in your system when he tests you.’

‘Thanks Alison, you have been a good friend to me,’ said Denise giving her a hug. ‘Now tell me all the details about Sue’s new boyfriend. Where did she meet him? What does he look like?’

---

Sue was clearly having a good time on her date, as by the time Denise left at 11.00pm and made her way home, there was still no sign of her.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 6

Fairy tales

As she was travelling home on the bus, Denise was aware of her mobile phone begin to burst into life. It was late to receive a call, but she saw that it was from her sister.

‘Hi Julia’.

‘Hi Denise, can you talk, or is this an awkward time.’

Why should 11.30 pm on a Sunday evening be an awkward time?’

‘I felt sure you would still be up but you might have been engaged in a steamy clinch in the back of a car somewhere on the south coast, for all I knew.’

Denise felt her cheeks go red at the suggestion from her sister.

‘Actually he brought me home at tea-time as I had some things to do this evening,’ she answered primly.

‘So how did you get on with Prince Charming?. Did he take you to the ball?’ asked Julia.

‘We had a great time except that I had to leave before midnight in case I turned into a pumpkin.’

‘Did he like your new outfit?’

‘He seemed to like the dress, but I found the glass slippers to be a bit of a problem. In fact I ended up leaving one behind so now he is going round accosting all and sundry to see if it fits them.’

Julia laughed.

‘So he has not yet made an honest princess of you.’

‘No, worse luck, I will still have to clean the cinders.’

‘Well your ugly sister wants to come up to London for a few days the week after next, and so you can tell her all about it then.’

‘I thought you had to work out your notice with your present employer before starting your new job?’

‘Yes but I have a few days of annual leave owing to me and I will need to come up and look for somewhere to live from September onwards.’

‘Would you like to stay with me again whilst you have a look around?’ asked Denise.

‘That would be great if your flatmate does not mind,’ answered Julia.

‘I will ask Samantha, but I do not think she will mind. However you must also realise that I will not have a lot of time to spend with you, as I am likely to working late during the week.’

‘Oh yes, I forgot you will have to clean the cinders each evening! After you have finished them, will you also remove the pea from under your mattress, it kept me awake last time.’

‘I thought I was supposed to be the fairytale princess’ said Denise.

‘Well if you are a princess and I am your sister then it stands to reason that I must be one as well.’

‘Yes, that is true, but seriously, I will be busy at work.’

‘And no doubt you will also want to see Prince Charming during the week, as well.’

‘Yes, there is that as well.’

‘No problem, I will look after myself during my stay, just give me a copy of the local newspaper and an A to Z of London and I will be fine. I need to find somewhere to live within easy travelling distance to Waterloo.’

‘I am afraid where I live in Shepherd’s Bush will be no good to you as it would involve a bus followed by two different tube trains. You should look out for somewhere south of the river. If you like, I will ask John for some advice as he was thinking about moving to that area in a few weeks when he has to leave Jane’s house to make room for the new baby.

‘Thanks, I should like the opportunity to meet Prince Charming, whilst I am in London, just to check him out. I need to look out for my little sister. He may be a blackguard only after your virtue, or else he may turn into a frog the first time you kiss him.’

‘You’ve got your fairytale back to front, it is the witch who turns him into the frog, and in any event I have kissed him on a number of occasions and he displayed no reptilian tendencies.’

‘Who said anything about fairytales? All men eventually turn into either frogs or rats, it is a part of their life-cycle.’

‘There speaks an embittered woman.’

‘No just one with a little more experience of guys than you have. However, I am just as likely to fall in love and make a fool of myself as you are.’

‘Who said anything about falling in love? As far as I am concerned John is just good company and someone to take me out for the summer.’

‘We’ll have to see about that!’

‘So exactly when would you like to stay with me?’

‘Arriving evening of Tuesday 3rd and staying until the Friday, if that is ok.’

‘I don’t imagine there will be any problem but I’ll check with Samantha tomorrow and let you know what she says. In the meanwhile watch out for spinning wheels and don’t accept any apples from old ladies.’

Samantha had already gone to bed by the time Denise returned home, which was a relief as she did not want to answer too many questions about the weekend or her future plans until she had some more time to think about what Alison had told her.

---

Having spent most of the previous week at work dealing with issues relating to the new website, Denise was due to resume her modelling with Samantha on Monday and Sue had planned a full programme involving several changes of costume. After two months of wearing different outfits, putting on makeup, and styling her hair several times a day, there was no longer any novelty associated with dressing as a woman. Nevertheless she enjoyed the modelling, even though it was quite hard work. She came to appreciate well-fitting and well-made clothes, and how the design could make a difference to how the wearer looked and felt about herself. She also learned how show off clothes to their best advantage and, where necessary, disguise any flaws in their design. Above all, Denise enjoyed the close working relationship with all her colleagues.

Samantha had seemed a little subdued and pre-occupied during their journey into work. Denise realised it was because she had not been willing to share the details about her weekend with John, and was still determined not to do so. She needed to take control of her private life and establish some boundaries. However, in all other respects she liked Samantha and had no wish to fall out with her flatmate or to see her unhappy. She therefore decided to volunteer a limited amount of information.

‘By the way Sam, I am intending to talk to Helen about my future today. If she is agreeable, I will continue to work as Denise at least until the end of the year, as we discussed last week. If you still want me as your flatmate, I should like to continue until then. After that we will just have to play it by ear.’

Samantha visibly cheered up once she heard the news.

‘Of course I would prefer to continue living with you, even though you are not willing to share your secrets with me.’

Denise sighed.

‘I would be happier about sharing my secrets with you if it were not for the fact that they involve your cousin who is currently living with your sister — it is all a little incestuous somehow.’

‘Alright, I understand, and I won’t push you any further. I am just pleased that you will be continuing to share a flat with me once I return to University. Who you go out with, and what you do when you go out together is your own affair.’

‘Thank you,’ said Denise giving her friend a hug. ‘By the way, my sister wants to come down to London for a few days at the beginning of August to look for somewhere to live, would you mind if she shared my room again.’

‘No not at all, she is most welcome to come again whenever you choose.’

---

Although Denise had asked John not to ring her at work when she was modelling, she had no objection to receiving emails, the first of which was waiting for her on Monday morning.
Hi Denise!
Brighton was wonderful, thanks very much. How would you fancy Bath next weekend? (the place that is — I am not inviting you to share my ablutions!)
Lots of love,
John xx.

A weekend visit to Bath sounded great. She had just finished reading Persuasion, as part of Samantha’s campaign to broaden her education as a girl, and in any event she had always wanted to see the city. However, she decided not to respond immediately. She did not want to appear too eager. She decided to keep him waiting at least until the end of the day. Instead she found a quiet spot in the office and telephoned the clinic mentioned by Alison and made an appointment to have an initial consultation with a therapist specialising in Gender Identity Disorder, during her lunch break on the following Monday. This was convenient since it was the day before Julia was due to arrive. She would be in a better position then to know at what point she spoke to her family and friends about what was in her mind.

During the coffee break Denise also asked whether she might speak with Helen, who afterwards invited her into her office.

‘Come in Denise and sit down.’

‘Thanks’.

‘So what can I do for you?’

‘Helen, I was wondering how you would feel if I were to continue coming in to work dressed as Denise for a while after Samantha goes back to University?’

‘How long for?’

‘I don’t really know at present. I am thinking about staying in Samantha’s flat until the end of the year? Perhaps longer?

‘Have you discussed it with Samantha.’

‘Yes, but only in terms of me continuing to live in her flat , nothing more.

‘I see,’ responded Helen, but without giving a specific answer.

Denise continued her explanation.

‘I am making enquiries and have to make some important decisions about my long term future, but I would prefer not to discuss them in detail at present, if you don’t mind. I would also rather that you did not say anything to my colleagues until I know what is happening.’

Helen did not look shocked, or particularly surprised, but thought for a while before answering.

‘My initial reaction is that I would be very pleased, indeed I would be relieved, if you were willing to continue as Denise after September, as long as that is what you want to do.’

‘Yes, I am sure of it.’

‘There is no way we are going to finish work on the online catalogue by then, particularly if the recent increase in the volume of sales continues. I think it is more realistic to look at the end of October or even mid-November as a finish date, and by then we will be getting the new season’s designs’.

‘Yes I’d realised that too.’

‘However, if Denise is going to become a permanent member of my staff, then I will need to regularise the situation,’ continued Helen. ‘You are still on the books as Denis Simons and I am paying your National Insurance and Income Tax under that name.’

‘Officially there is no such person as Denise Simons at present, but I have begun to make enquiries about effecting a more permanent change to my identity.’

‘Alright, and don’t worry I will not mention what you have just said to anyone until you are ready to do so, but we do need to mention that you will be staying on as Denise to Sue and the others so that they can plan the work schedule. If you prefer, I will tell them that I have asked you to stay on as you are.’

‘Thank you, I will tell everyone the truth about my plans as soon as I know what is going to happen and the likely timetable.’

'Good, I hope everything works out alright does not take too long', said Helen.

‘Thank you. I will probably need to save a fair amount of money first. In fact I will be looking out for a part-time job in the evenings as well.’

‘Won’t that limit the time available to go out with your new boyfriend?’

‘Maybe so, but my priority at the moment is to sort out my life. Boyfriends can come later.’

‘Denise, you will have been with us for a year at the end of September; if the increase in our sales since the launch of the online catalogue continues until then, I will be prepared to review your pay, and also consider an additional bonus to the one already promised to you. I really appreciate the work you have already done and will need someone with good computer skills to maintain the website and the new ordering system.’

‘Thank you,’ said Denise. ‘I was wondering when I should raise the issue of my salary.

‘I will need a little more time to see how the business is going. In the meanwhile I would be prepared for you, Sue and Samantha to work overtime over the next few weeks, particularly as most of your colleagues will be taking their annual leave during August. I think you would earn more that way than you would by working in a bar or as a waitress.’

‘Alright then, I certainly would be interested in doing so. I want to work as much overtime as I can over the next few weeks.’

‘By the way, how are your various female appendages fairing?’ asked Helen.

‘I can now deal with my breast formes by myself, and my fingernail extensions are not discernible from my own nails. However, I think I will soon need to get my hair extensions checked as it is nearly five weeks since they were fitted,’ answered Denise.

‘Sarah is here next week before taking a fortnight’s leave. I suggest you ask her to have a look at them before she goes.’

‘Alright, can she do them in work time?’

‘Yes I suppose so, as it is necessary for your modelling. I do not normally let my staff get their hair done in work time. If you really want to live as a woman full-time there will be expenses that you will have to meet.’

‘Yes I know. It is just that I need to save as much as possible at present.’

‘So we will agree that Sarah may fix your hair in work time on this occasion, and Denise will continue to work for the remainder of the year.

---

Denise and Samantha were both keen to work on weekday evenings over the next few weeks, but both decided to leave their weekends free. Sue was less anxious to do so, having recently found a guy that she was quite taken with after six months of involuntary celibacy. However, this did not matter as the normal office hours could be spent by the girls in modelling clothes, and the remainder of the time was spent catching up with other matters. Denise, in particular, found herself dealing with technical issues that arose and found her self planning how the firm’s computer system could be extended. She was now doing work and taking decisions far above her relatively lowly status in the organisation and intended to point this out when she came to negotiate with Helen over her pay.

The announcement that she intended to stay on as Denise after the end of September did not cause any particular stir in the office. Sarah agreed to refit her hair extensions and to trim and style her hair, and throughout the whole time made no reference to her previous life. Denise realised that gradually over the last four weeks she had been entirely accepted by her colleagues and in the fortnight since she returned from her visit to Norwich there had been no reference by anyone to Denis or to her former gender. It was as if he was a part of a separate lifetime and she was quite happy that it should be so.

---

As Denise and Samantha were about to go out for some lunch on the Thursday afternoon, Jane approached them.

‘Now that my morning sickness has begun to subside, Simon and I would like to organise that dinner party that I mentioned back in June — to thank my bridesmaids and the best man. John will also be there as well as he is staying with us. I have already spoken to the others, so would you both be free a week on Saturday?’

Denise wondered whether this was another attempt by the two sisters to interfere with her love life, but she could vaguely remember Jane mentioning such a party before and did not think she could easily refuse. She therefore agreed to go. Samantha said nothing and so that was taken as her acceptance.

Somewhat to her surprise, she later discovered that Samantha was not looking forward to the engagement either.

‘What’s the problem Samantha? I thought you got on well with your sister and brother-in-law, and you are forever trying to pair me up with your cousin.’

‘Yes, that is just the point. You and Jane will be happily paired up, and I will have to sit next to Simon’s creepy friend Peter,’ she replied.

‘He wasn’t that bad. Perhaps he was a little full of himself, but he was very good looking,’ commented Denise.

‘You are welcome to him, he gives me the creeps,’ answered Samantha with some passion, that surprised her friend.

‘No thanks, I can’t see him responding too well to the discovery of my background, and in any event your cousin will serve as a boyfriend for the time being. But you will go nevertheless?’ asked Denise.

‘I suppose I will have to go, for Jane and Simon’s sake, but I am not looking forward to it.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 7

Bath time, and a preliminary interview

John collected her from her flat at 9.30am on Saturday morning and in no time they were travelling westwards on the M4 motorway. By one o’clock they were having lunch together in the Assembly Rooms at Bath. The afternoon was spent taking on open-topped bus ride round the city followed by a walk along the Royal Crescent, with Denise pointing out the various places mentioned in the story she had been reading. At five pm they checked into a city centre hotel not far from Pultney Bridge.

‘What would you like to do this evening my dear,’ asked John.

‘You can choose the restaurant this week. Rather than going clubbing, I noticed an open-air jazz concert in the park if you like the sound of it,’ she replied.

‘Alright then, jazz in the park, followed by an Italian restaurant. But do we need to get dressed up in that case?”

‘Oh yes, that is part of the fun of going away and staying in a nice hotel, with a lovely big bed to look forward to afterwards’.

Over the next hour Denise showered and changed into a light blue summer dress and carefully fixed her hair and makeup and put on some perfume and the jewellery given to her by her mother. John, who had made the various arrangements for the evening, was still in the shower when she finished so she looked at herself critically in the full-length mirror. Working as a model had given her the experience to know when she looked good and had also given her confidence in herself as a woman and her ability to attract men or impress other women. There was not a shadow of doubt in her mind that this was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life. The sooner she could take formal and irrevocable steps to do so, the better.

---

‘So what would you like do tomorrow Denise?’ asked John over dinner.

‘You have been very forbearing with me this afternoon with my going on about Jane Austen. Isn’t there something “blokey” that you would like to do or see in Bath: something like a museum of football boots, or motorcycle carburettors?’ she asked playfully in return.

He laughed at the idea.

‘I was always tripping over the laces of my football boots when we were forced to play at school, and I wouldn’t recognise a carburettor if one jumped out from behind a bush and bit me. No, there is nothing I particularly want to see or do in Bath, other than to be in your company,’ he replied looking into her eyes.

She averted her gaze, but smiled and touched his hand gently in a mark of affection.

‘In that case, we could go to visit the Museum of Costume in Bennett Street. It is odd but ever since I started to work as a model I have begun to take much more of an interest in clothes and begun to notice what other people wear.’

‘It is not really surprising; your job has shown you how clothes may be used to make you look even lovelier. It is inevitable that you will want to learn more about their history,’ he replied.

‘Women have so many more opportunities to express their personalities and moods through their clothes than men. It surprises me how many women fail to make the best of themselves, or don’t seem to understand that certain colours do not suit their colouring. Others tend to go ‘over the top’ when following some fashion and end up looking ridiculous.’

‘I wouldn’t really know; I am just an ordinary bloke. In an ideal world I would just wear jeans and a sweatshirt every day.’

‘But I fancy you more when you wear a suit and tie,’ she replied.

He blushed and changed the subject.

‘Since you have become a fan of Jane Austen we could perhaps visit her home at Chawton and her grave nearby in Winchester Cathedral at some future time,’ he continued.

‘Thank you, I should like that, but it cannot be next weekend as we both have to go to Jane’s dinner party.’

‘Oh yes, I do wish people would refrain from organising dinner parties, particularly at weekends, they can be quite gruesome,’ he commented.

‘Yes, but on this occasion I’ll be there to make it worth your while,’ she replied.

‘That will make all the difference’, he said squeezing her hand.

Denise thought to herself how much better her life was these days.

‘Why don’t we have an early night in that lovely king-sized bed in our room, followed by a late breakfast?’ she suggested, with a gleam in her eye.

He blushed, but did not argue with her suggestion.

---

The remainder of the weekend visit to Bath went well. There was no shyness or awkwardness between them as there had originally been at Brighton. They were just a young couple having a break from work, enjoying the sites and one another’s company during the day time and one another’s bodies at night. Denise was not falling in love with John, and she did her best to remind him in as tactful and respectful way she could, but there was no doubt that she enjoyed his company, and enjoyed having such an amenable boyfriend to take her out. On a couple of occasions she found herself thinking about her meeting with the psychiatrist scheduled for the next day, and what she might say to him. However she was now quite sure in her own mind about the outcome she wanted, and so was able to put it out of her mind and enjoy the weekend.

They remained in Bath for most of Sunday, visiting the museum in the morning, followed by the Abbey and a late lunch. During the afternoon they walked through Sydney Gardens and Beckford Gardens, with John pointing out the magnificent engineering of Brunel’s railway line, and showing that he was just as well informed about some historical features of Bath as his young partner. After an hour or two they had to sit down as Denise was feeling a little faint in the hot sun, but she soon recovered, and they decided to return to London via the old Great West Road rather than the Motorway. On the way home they stopped to have dinner at a restaurant outside Newbury. Thus it was nearly 10.30pm, before he drove her back to her flat at about. Denise noticed the light was on and so did not want to invite him in. Instead they sat talking for a while in his car.

‘Thank you John, it has been a lovely weekend, I have had a great time once again.

‘Me too,’ he replied.

‘I guess I will see you next Saturday at Jane’s dinner.’

‘Are you sure I can’t see you sometime during the week?’

‘I will really need to catch up with work most evenings next week, but my sister is due to arrive at Liverpool Street on Tuesday evening, and she is keen to meet you. I was hoping you might be able to advise her about finding somewhere to live in South London. If you like, you can come with me and then give us a lift to the flat afterwards.’

‘Alright then, I should be happy to meet your sister and give you both a lift - as long as I can take you both out for a drink afterwards, as well.’

---

At one o’clock the next day Denise was waiting in a well-appointed clinic, just a few streets away from where she worked in Great Portland Street. It had been a little awkward for her to negotiate an extended lunch break without being willing to explain to Sue and Samantha where she was going. She also had to avoid their questions as to why she had chosen to dress in one of Angela’s smart business suits, and silk blouse, rather than her normal recent choice of a sundress. She had merely announced that she had some business to attend to, would be back at 2.30pm and would make up for any lost time later.

The clinic was in a large late Georgian terraced house with a high ceiling. The waiting room had a large mirror at one end, and so Denise looked at herself and was quite pleased with her choice of outfit. She was beginning to understand the messages that could be conveyed by one’s clothing. She wanted to look serious, but nevertheless attractive, whilst conveying to any onlooker no doubt about her chosen gender. The dark reddish-brown of her skirt and jacket matched her lipstick and nail varnish and was also picked up in a garnet ruby pendant and earrings. Her shiny black high-heeled shoes and shoulder bag likewise matched one another. She looked a poised young business-woman, even though deep down she felt like a nervous little girl. After a few more minutes of waiting a man in his early forties, wearing an expensive suit, emerged from the consulting room and introduced himself.

‘I am Doctor Collett.’

‘Den …,’ she hesitated for half a second before continuing, ‘Denise Simons.’

They shook hands and he invited her into his consulting room where he offered her a seat.

‘So what may I do for you young lady?

She took a deep breath before proceeding.

‘As you may have suspected, I am not really a young lady. At least, I feel as if I should be one, but my birth certificate and genitalia would indicate otherwise.’

She blushed deeply as she said this and wanted to look away, but forced herself to remain looking at him.

‘I see,’ he replied without displaying any surprise at her answer. ‘So what is it that makes you feel you should be, or rather, should have been, a woman?’

She had rehearsed her answer to this question many times over the last week.

‘I have always thought that I did not fit in as a young man and have had a vague notion that something was not right about my life, for as long as I can remember. But it was not until I started to live and work as a young woman several months ago that I realised exactly who I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life.’

‘How long have you been living as a woman?’

‘For about six months,’ she exaggerated. ‘At first it was intermittently so, but once I discovered how much happier and more fulfilled I was it became permanent. I have been living and working as a woman full-time, for the last three months and I intend to continue to do so hereafter.’

‘So why have you come to see me at this time? Why did you not contact me before now?’

‘At first I felt I needed to sort things out with my family and my employers and also to ensure that I could live happily and function successfully as a woman. Now that I am certain that I can do all those things, I should like to begin the process of changing my sex.’

‘You will never be able to change your sex, but, if I think it appropriate, I might be able to assist you to live and be recognised by society as being of the female gender.

‘Yes, I realise that.’

‘So your family know about your life style and are supportive of your decision.’

‘They are supportive of my decision to live and work as Denise. They do not yet know about my decision to seek gender re-assignment surgery, but I cannot see it coming as a great surprise to them.’

‘And your employers, how do they feel about your decision?’

‘My employer and my work colleagues are also very supportive. I work in an all female environment and feel that I both fit in better and perform better as Denise than I did previously.’

He carried on asking similar questions to those asked by Alison for about thirty minutes and seemed to be satisfied with the replies. He also asked for her original name and date of birth and some information about her family background and medical history. At last he came to a decision.

‘Very well, Denise, I would be willing to work with you to assist you to resolve your gender identity issues, if you feel you would also like to work with me.’

‘How long will the process take?’

‘I cannot say exactly. I have to be sure that you know exactly what you are doing and have thought through all the implications of what you propose to do before I decide whether to recommend you for further treatment. That will inevitably take several weeks and I am not prepared to work to a fixed timetable.’

‘It is just that I am frightened that my voice will begin to break and I will start to grow to look like a man if I leave things for much longer.’

‘Those are the normal features of puberty but they should have happened to you before now. We will need to investigate whether there is any chromosome abnormality that is causing the absence of puberty and your rather feminine appearance.’

‘Very well, but how much will it all cost?’

‘My standard fee is  £95.00 for a fifty minute consultation.’

‘Doctor Collett, I only earn twice that much in a week, and half of my wages are spent on food and rent,’ she said handing him her recent payslip as savings.

‘What about savings?’

‘I have two thousand pounds in the bank, but I was hoping to use it to fund my hormone treatment.’

‘One thing at a time,’ he said. ‘You do seem to be wearing expensive clothes.’

‘All of my clothes are second hand and were given to me by someone leaving the country. The cosmetics and hairstyle are provided by my work. I can afford to spend very little money on myself’.

He thought for a while before answering.

‘You must understand that the course of action you are embarking upon may be prolonged and will inevitably be expensive. However, from your appearance it appears that you will not have to go through expensive plastic surgery or hair removal procedures. I note that you are working nearby. If you are willing to be flexible regarding your appointments, letting us either defer you or else call you in at short-notice so that I can fill vacancies, I would be willing to reduce my fee by half. However, if you are to undergo surgery you will have to investigate possible sources of funding or else be prepared to go on the waiting list as a National Health Service patient.’

‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘I would appreciate your help. When can we begin?’

‘I have an appointment free on Thursday morning at ten o’clock, if that suits you.’

‘The sooner the better’, she replied.

---

Denise hurried to arrive back at her work by 2.30pm as she had promised, feeling both elated and also apprehensive. She had at last taken the first tentative steps on her journey towards womanhood and it was now just a question of jumping through the relevant hoops and filling the relevant forms. No doubt it would take her both time and a lot of money before the task could be completed, and eventually involve some pain and discomfort, but she was now confident that it could be done. She was no longer an androgynous young man, living and working as a woman — she was now a pre-operative transsexual undergoing assessment for corrective surgery. There was now no longer any point in concealing her new status or intentions from her colleagues and family, if fact she felt like announcing it to the whole world.

She ran up the stairs to the store room where she normally changed, to find both Sue and Samantha waiting for her to begin the afternoon’s work.

‘Sorry, if I am late’, she said catching her breath. ‘It won’t take me long to get myself changed, and then I have something really important that I want to say to you.’

With those words she fell down into a faint.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 4 Chapter 8

Julia’s second visit to London

It was only just over a month since Denise had last waited at Liverpool Street station to say goodbye to her sister, but it somehow felt much longer. On that first occasion she had been so relieved about her sister’s reaction to her new way of life, and needed her moral support when it came to informing her mother. Now she felt confident and in control of her life and was pleased with the way in which her plans were beginning to fall in to shape. When Julia arrived earlier that week she had been pleased to have John by her side, as a trophy to impress her sister, but now she was equally happy to have her to herself for a little while before the arrival of the train. What with one thing and another, they had not had much opportunity to have a long sisterly talk together over the last four days.

‘I am glad you decided to delay your departure until Saturday morning Julia, so I can see you off and we at least have the opportunity for a chat,’ said Denise.

‘Yes we haven’t had much chance to talk alone this week, what with one thing and another, replied Julia. ‘It has taken me somewhat longer than I thought to find somewhere reasonable to live and make the necessary arrangements,’.

‘So are you now fixed up ready for September and raring to go?’

‘Yes, last night I left a deposit on a reasonably-sized bedsit with access to a shared kitchen, and a view of the common at Kennington. It is only one stop away from my work by underground, or a ten minute bus ride. It is even within walking distance if I am feeling energetic.’

‘It sounds ideal for you, I am looking forward to seeing it.’

‘I plan to move in over the August Bank Holiday weekend as I will be starting work on 1st September. I shall invite you and John round for dinner just as soon as I am settled in.’

‘Maybe we can help you move in?’

‘That is kind of you to offer, but I feel a little guilty about the help that John has already given me. Not only did he provide useful advice about different areas of London, but he must have driven me round to see at least eight different properties over the last three evenings.’

‘I don’t think he minded, as I have been rather busy this week at work, working overtime and making up for the time when I went to see the therapist.’

‘No, I don’t think he minded helping me, but be careful Denise, John is a nice bloke, reasonably good looking and has a good job. Such men are not that thick on the ground; he could be a good catch for someone else if you are not careful.’

‘Are you planning on doing any fishing yourself?’ asked Denise smiling.

‘I could quite fancy him and get the impression that, with a little effort, I could make something of him, but don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that to my own sister.’

‘Even if she wanted you to?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well he is a nice bloke and we have had fun together, but I get the impression he is more serious about me than I am about him. In many ways he would suit you much better than me. He is closer to your age, and you are more mature than I am. In any event, over the next few weeks my life is going to be complicated enough with the gender re-assignment and so I do not want to get myself emotionally involved with a boyfriend.’

‘You can’t just pass your boyfriends on to your sister when you have finished with them, as you might do to some item of unwanted clothing!’ said Julia incredulously.

‘It is better to pass him on to you, if you have a use for him, than to send him to the charity shop,’ said Denise laughing. ‘You do not currently have a boyfriend and so he could be quite useful to show you around when you come up to London in a few weeks time.

‘Won’t he want some say in the matter?’

‘Maybe, but like most men he needs to be shown what is best for him. He will probably need a little bit of gentle handling, but in no time we will have him eating out of your hand.’

Julia shook her head. ‘You do him an injustice; there is more to him than meets the eye.’

‘You are probably right, but, as you said, you could make something of him. However, don’t worry if you would find it embarrassing going out with your baby sister’s ex-boyfriend. I’ll look for someone else to take him off my hands. But at least accept the offer of help when you move in to your bedsit.’

‘Alright, but that is all. I can find my own boyfriends thank you. In any event, where did all this womanly wisdom about handling guys suddenly come from?’ she asked laughing.

Denise shrugged. ‘Maybe it was there all the time but was buried under all the crap of my having to pretend to be a boy just because Mother Nature got her wires crossed’.

‘You should have mentioned it when we were young as I always wanted a kid sister. You have always looked a little androgynous and so I could have dressed you up as my little sister and then we could have had fun together.’

‘At the time I did not know myself what was wrong with me. I only knew that I something was not right in my life. But from now onwards I intend to make the most of my new life as a woman.’

‘So when are coming to tell mum about your plans for gender re-assignment?’

‘The two therapy sessions I have had so far have been purely exploratory and I suspect there will be a few more sessions before he refers me to an endocrinologist. However, I already have another appointment next week. I will come and tell mum as soon as I know a little more about likely costs involved and a timetable for my transition. I hope it will be before you leave Norwich. How do you think she will react when she hears the news?’

‘I can’t see it coming as much of a shock to her, just as it was no surprise to me. I think after your last visit to Norwich we were both convinced that we would not be seeing much of Denis in the future. I believe that she has been doing a lot of background reading on the subject of transsexualism and transgenderism ever since you left and has asked me whether I thought it was a temporary phase you were passing through.’

‘How did you answer her?’

‘I told her what you have just said to me — that you were now fulfilling an innate need and were unlikely ever to go back.’

‘Thank you,’ said Denise, blushing. ‘It must be difficult for her to understand’.

‘Maybe, but she is not as narrow-minded as you might think’.

‘I never thought she was narrow minded, but it must be difficult for anyone to accept that someone you have always thought of as a son, now wants to become your daughter’

‘Yes, I suppose so, but I think most reasonable people now accept that some people have problems with their gender identity, which are not their fault.’

‘I hope so. In fact everybody I have told has so far accepted the news with understanding.’

‘So they know about your plans at work.’

‘Yes I told my boss some time ago, and then announced it to my colleagues at the beginning of last week. As with you, it was no great surprise to anyone. As soon as I have a formal diagnosis from the therapist I shall be changing my name and my National Insurance status and then opening a new bank account. Over the next few weeks all record of the late Denis Symons will gradually disappear.’

‘Does John know about your plans yet.’

‘Not yet. I asked Jane to refrain from mentioning it at home until I have a chance to tell him later today.’

‘Don’t leave it any longer, otherwise someone is bound to let out your secret.’

‘Yes, I know. Jane will also be telling her husband the shocking news that one of their bridesmaids was really a guy.’

‘And the other one is a lesbian, but perhaps he already knows that,’ thought Julia, but did not say as much. Instead she asked her sister, ‘will she tell him before or after your dinner party tonight?’

‘Before, I assume. I am not going to pretend any more. I will not raise the issue myself, but if the topic of my male origins, or my gender re-assignment therapy, should come up in the conversation, I intend to answer openly and truthfully.’

‘I can see that the dinner tonight is going to be an interesting experience for both you and John.’

‘If it gets too bad I will feign a headache or one of my fainting fits and ask John to take me home.’

‘Denise, I am a little worried about these fainting fits you keep having. I understand from John that you either have fainted or else felt faint on three occasions recently and Samantha told me that you have also fainted at work.’

‘Oh it is nothing, just an occasional attack of ‘the vapours’, a little bit of what used to be called ‘female hysteria’ in the nineteenth century. They soon pass,’ answered Denise dismissively.

‘There is no such thing as ‘female hysteria’, if young women fainted in the nineteenth century it was because their corsets were constricting their blood-flow,’ said Julia. ‘You should not talk about women in such a disparaging way, especially as you want to become one. If you are fainting regularly it is for a reason, and you should go and see a doctor to find out why.’

‘I think it may be a side-effect of some testosterone blockers that I have been taking over the last couple of weeks, to stop me from turning into a man.’

‘In that case you should tell the doctor who prescribed them to you.’

‘There is no doctor involved, I read about the drugs on the internet and acquired some’, answered Denise, looking a little shamefaced.

‘You must be mad! Don’t you realise that you could do yourself some serious harm?’

Denise blushed.

‘I did read up about the potential risks and the side-effects, and don’t think they will do me any harm. I just felt that it was more important for me to avoid turning into a man.’

‘If you were ever going to turn into a strapping ‘he-man’ it would have happened to you by the time you were sixteen. Now with your clothes and makeup, nobody could conceivably think of you as a guy.’

‘Maybe, but just looking like a woman is no longer enough for me.’

‘And what will happen when your therapist finds out you have been self-medicating? He will consider you to be an irresponsible and unreliable patient and won’t want to continue treating you, particularly as he is only charging you half his normal rate.’

‘I was intending to stop taking them as soon as he gave me an appointment with an endocrinologist.’

‘Denise, you should stop taking them straight away. Leave the medication to the doctors. You are already living and working as a woman so you ought to be able to show a little patience in waiting for the physical changes to take effect.’

‘Very well. I suppose your are right, but over the last couple of weeks I have really begun to discover my true self and am becoming increasingly frustrated with living in a man’s body and having to pretend to be a woman.’

‘There is nothing about your body or your character that is manly. But you must be patient and not try to rush things. You should concentrate on enjoying the life of an ordinary nineteen-year old girl and saving up for your surgery.’

---

Once she had said goodbye to her sister Denise made her way to Aldwych, where she had arranged to meet John for lunch at a café near Somerset House. He was waiting for her once she arrived.

‘Hi John,’ she said responding to his kiss on the cheek. ‘Thank you for being so kind to my sister over the last week.’

‘It was my pleasure, I had nothing else to do and she was good fun to be with. In fact it gave me a useful insight into the problems of looking for somewhere to live. I will have to do so my self in a few weeks, now that the arrival of Jane’s baby is approaching.’

‘But thank you all the same. Now let us order some lunch and then there is something important that I need to discuss with you.’

‘Is it that you do not want to go out with me any more?’ he asked alarmed.

‘No but you may not wish to continue going out with me afterwards,’ she replied.

---

‘Alright so what is it that you wish to tell me young lady?’ asked John once their food had been delivered to the table and the waitress was out of earshot.

‘There are two things. First of all, I am embarking upon a programme of gender re-assignment, and have seen a doctor. I am planning to make Denise both permanent and official.’

‘You are planning to undergo a sex-change operation?’

‘You could say that, although it is not technically accurate. I am intending to spend the rest of my life living in the female gender, and will soon start to take female hormones. In time I plan to undergo corrective surgery to give me female genitals, and, if necessary, undergo some plastic surgery to enhance my breasts. Eventually I will apply to be formally recognised as a woman.’

‘Are you sure it is the right thing to do?’

‘Absolutely certain’, she responded.

‘How long will it take?’

‘I think we are probably talking about a couple of years’ she answered.

‘When do reach the point of no return?’

‘Physically, it will be as soon as I can get my hands on some female hormones, but mentally, I think I have already passed that point some time ago. I would rather kill myself than go back to pretending to live as a guy.’

‘In that case, good luck to you,’ he said without betraying any surprise or other emotion. ‘I have never thought of you as anything other than a girl, but clearly it will be important for your own self-image.’

‘Thanks. I just want to be able to look at myself naked in a mirror and like what I see.’

‘So what was the second thing you wanted to tell me Denise?’

‘From now onwards, I am going to stop pretending about who I am, who I used to be, and who I am hoping to become. Jane’s husband now knows about my origins, and also probably his friend, so the topic may well crop up at dinner this evening.’

‘I see.’

‘Will you feel awkward once it becomes known that you have been dating a pre-op transsexual?’

He thought for a little before answering.

‘I don’t know. Jane and Samantha have known all the time, and that has never concerned me; but I am not sure how I will react once it becomes common knowledge among my family and workmates. We will just have to play it by ear.’

‘I am afraid that was the wrong answer John,’ thought Denise to herself. ‘I do not want to be a source of embarrassment to anyone. If you can’t be proud of me in front of your family, then it will be better that we part. The day I start taking oestrogen will be the day that we cease to be lovers.’

‘OK we will just have to play it by ear, starting from tonight.’

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 1

A dinner party

Having only recently recovered from her regular bouts of morning sickness, and aware that she would soon be displaying more visible signs of her pregnancy, Jane was determined to make her last dinner party for some time a glamorous and sophisticated affair. She had already told the three guys that they were expected to wear dinner jackets, and when John pointed out that his was still at his parents’ house in Birmingham, she arranged to loan him one of Simon’s to wear. Similarly, she had asked her two former bridesmaids to join her in wearing long evening gowns. Denise would have been happy to accede, as she always enjoyed wearing long slinky dresses during their modelling sessions, but she had to confess that she did not possess one and did not feel she could now afford to go out and buy one at this time. Jane responded by offering to lend her one for the evening, together with matching accessories. It was then that Samantha suggested that she and Denise should come early to help her sister with the preparations, and then help one another to get themselves ready. Both Jane and Denise were happy to go along with this idea.

As soon as they finished lunch on Saturday John drove Denise to Shepherd’s Bush to collect Samantha, and then he drove them both to Jane’s flat. She was carrying her dress for the evening in a cellophane cover, together with a small weekend bag for her shoes and makeup.

‘Aren’t you coming in?’ asked Samantha as John dropped them off.

‘No, Simon, Peter and I have been instructed to keep out of the way until at least seven o’clock, so I’ll see you ladies in about four hours’ time,’ he said before driving off.

---

Denise enjoyed her afternoon helping her two friends prepare the food and laying the table with Jane’s best cutlery - newly acquired as a wedding present. It brought back to her the happy memories of the preparations for Jane’s wedding. Although at times they could be bossy and scheming, Denise took great pleasure in the affectionate friendship that had grown up between her and these two sisters, and in their ability to work together as a team. However, she was happiest when the time came to get themselves ready. She no longer considered herself to be the novice when it came to fixing her hair or putting on makeup and was pleased when her help and advice was sought by one of her friends.

Jane had chosen a long black silk evening dress trimmed in silver for her to wear, which was hanging on the bedroom door. Denise had been advised to wear her padded control pants, and these days she usually wore one of her gaffs to hold back her penis, as a matter of course. She had also previously agreed with Samantha that they would both wear the pearl drop earrings and a matching pendants given to them by Simon at Jane’s wedding. Fortunately they would go well with Jane’s dress.

‘Denise, I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Samantha to raid your wardrobe this morning after you left and to bring along the basque that I bought for you as well,’ said Jane. ‘That black dress does tend to hug the figure, so it will give you a more pronounced waist.’

‘I’ve also brought you some stockings as well, to go with the suspenders,’ added Samantha.

Denise sighed in mock exasperation, but then smiled and took the offered garments. She then proceeded to take off the dress, slip and tights that she had been wearing and was helped into the basque by her friends who proceeded to tighten the laces until she had a pronounced waist. Once she had got used to the tightness of the garment, she sat down on the bed and carefully put on the nylons, pleased that she had decided to de-fuzz her arms and legs the night before. She then took her turn at Jane’s dressing table to make up her face, fix her hair and check on her nail varnish.

The black dress fitted her well and showed just enough cleavage, but without any danger of betraying the presence of her artificial breasts. She replaced her existing jewellery with those she had brought and the matching shoes and clutch-bag were produced to complete her outfit. A final squirt of perfume and she was ready to face the world. The three girls stood for a few minutes admiring one another’s outfits and checking up on details. Her two friends were certainly beautiful, but Denise knew in her heart that she was, as well. That thought gave her a great feeling of satisfaction and well-being.

John arrived at the appointed time bringing with him a bunch of flowers as a centre piece for the table, and a couple of bottles of wine.

‘Wow, just look at you three beauties! I am quite --- enraptured,’ he said, self-mockingly as he made a deep bow and presented the flowers to Jane.

‘Thank you sir, said Jane, doing a mock curtsey, as befitted her long dress. ‘However, you had better go and get changed as the others will be here any minute and they are getting dressed at Peter’s flat.’

‘Would you be able to help me with my bow tie Denise?’ he asked.

‘I suppose so,’ she answered, blushing slightly, and followed him in to the spare bedroom, in which he had been staying.

As soon as he was out of earshot from the others he turned to her.

‘And this is for the most beautiful lady here tonight,’ he said, handing her a pink camellia.

‘I thank you sir for the flower, but such comparisons between ladies are odious and un-gentlemanly,’ she replied primly, doing a quick curtsey, in imitation of Jane.

She had to admit to herself that she was quite pleased he had said it, nevertheless.

‘I am afraid I will not be able to pin the flower on to Jane’s dress without marking it, but I will keep it on my dressing table and think of you whenever I see it,’ she continued and kissed him on the cheek.

‘I am sorry if I disappointed you with my reply to your question at lunchtime, but I was just trying to be honest with you.’

She took one of his hands in her own.

‘I appreciate that. It is going to be a difficult time for both of us over the next few weeks, and, as I have said several times before, you should not get your hopes up that we will come through it together. I would not think less of you if you wanted to back out here and now.’

‘I think we’ll just play it by ear’, he answered kissing her once again, but this time on the lips..

Denise repaired her lipstick and re-touched her makeup whilst John quickly got changed into his dinner jacket.

‘I thought you wanted me to tie your bow tie for you’, she asked as he attached a clip-on one.

‘It was a dastardly ruse to get you on your own,’ he said smiling. Then, putting his arm round her shoulder, he led her out of the bedroom.

---

Simon and his friend had arrived whilst John was getting changed, and they were having a preliminary glass of wine with Jane and Samantha. It was clear to Denise from the moment she stepped out of the bedroom, and without any word having been spoken, that they both now knew all about her. She also knew in her heart that neither of them had previously harboured any suspicions, and that she and John had no doubt been the object of recent ribald discussion between them. Simon, who despite his high-powered profession, had always been a little in awe of his wife and her two young bridesmaids, looked at Denise in sheer amazement. Peter, on the other hand, had a barely concealed look of fascinated disgust — as if he were looking down a microscope at a fly’s eyeball. John, after his initial bravado now seemed a little embarrassed by the situation but Denise found herself able to put on a gracious smile to everyone.

There was just one awkward moment with nobody knowing what to say.

‘Well aren’t you going to offer our guests a drink?’ Jane said to her husband.

‘Yes of course,’ he answered, blushing, ‘what would you both like’.

---

Ten minutes later the party took their seats around the circular dining table and began to eat the starter of smoked salmon on little squares of toast, which was already waiting for them. Simon began to pour some more wine and Denise was invited to sit between John on her left and Simon on her right. They in turn had Samantha and Jane sitting next to them. Peter sat directly opposite to her, which suited Denise as it made any social chit-chat between them impractical, but it did mean that they were directly within one another’s line of sight. She was conscious of his continuing unspoken disapproval of herself and also amused to see the designs he had of impressing her flatmate. Samantha’s body language, on the other hand, showed that she was less pleased with the seating arrangements, visibly shrinking if he touched her. She therefore directed most of her attention and conversation to her cousin, or to Denise, and only responded to Peter when politeness called for it. As a result Jane and Simon made most conversation with their best man, somewhat to his irritation.

Samantha offered to clear the table after the starter, whilst Simon served up main course, consisting of three pheasants cooked in Bordeaux red wine, with vegetables and croquet potatoes. He then sought to refill the glasses, but Denise discreetly held her hand over hers to stop him from adding any more, aware that it would be difficult for her to go to the toilet dressed as she was.

The main course proved to be a great success: there were no vegetarians, vegans, fruitarians or those suffering from exotic food allergies in the party to complicate matters, only the occasional discovery of pieces of lead shot in the game. It was followed by a traditional syllabub, which was truly delicious but Denise and Samantha only touched a small part, both being conscious of their waistlines. The conversation gradually began to mellow, oiled by plenty of good quality wine, and gradually moved on to other things than their respective jobs, and Jane’s expected baby.

Inevitably, the unspoken topic - the elephant in the room - had to come up in conversation at some point. It happened in a quite inoffensive way, with Samantha asking her flatmate about their work schedule for the next week.

‘I am hoping that Sue will have enough work for you alone on Wednesday morning as I have another appointment with my therapist first thing, and then there are a number of minor changes I would like to make to the ordering system.’

‘How are you getting on with your therapist?’ asked Jane, before her sister had a chance to respond.

‘It is early days yet, he still hasn’t even given me a date for me to get my female hormones.’

‘If it were up to me, I would prescribe you with a cold shower followed by some useful hard work,’ said Peter, from across the table.

There was an audible intake of breath from around the table. Denise looked up, and smiled sweetly at him.

‘In that case, it is just as well that I am consulting a qualified therapist rather than an ignorant bigot,’ she replied in a calm voice.

‘Pete, that was uncalled-for, I think you should apologize to Denise,’ said Simon, trying to calm the situation before it got out of hand.

‘No I will not! I object to the National Health Service being used to cater for the idle whims or sexual gratification of perverts,’ he responded angrily.

Then, turning directly to Denise, he continued.

‘So you want to be a woman — well tough luck - you never will be one — so get over it and do something useful with your life like a real man instead of mincing around in long dresses all day pretending to be something you’re not.’

Denise’s cheeks reddened, but she managed to keep control of herself. She returned his eye-contact across the table.

‘For a start I am intending to fund my transition and any therapy by myself, and secondly it is no business of yours what my doctor prescribes to treat a recognised medical or psychological condition, or what I choose to wear.’

‘Pete, you have had too much to drink. I think you should now leave,’ said Simon.

‘I’ve had enough of this freak show,’ he said getting up to leave. ‘How do you think I have felt having to look at --- that --- all evening?’ he said indicating Denise with distaste.

Denise flushed with anger and went to stand up, but, as she did so, she suddenly felt light-headed and fell down in a faint into John’s lap, bringing a half-eaten bowl of syllabub on top of her.

‘Look at that. He can’t even bear to listen to some home truths without fainting: it is truly pathetic,’ Peter said as he strode towards the door.

John helped Denise to sit up and Jane began to clean her down, whilst Simon held open the door to ensure that his friend left. However, before he could do so, Samantha came over to him with fire in her eyes.

‘So you are so proud of yourself for being a ‘real man’, when in fact you are nothing but a loathsome, disgusting, worm! I would slap your face if it were not for the fact that it would make my flesh creep just to touch you,’ she said with utter disdain. ‘Denise is a lovely person and a thousand times more admirable than you will ever be. Now get out of my sight!’

He was clearly taken aback by the depth of her anger, and left without further invitation.

---

It did not take long before Denise was seated again and the mess cleared up.

‘I am sorry to have been such a wimp, I was about to give him a piece of my mind, but the room suddenly started to spin,’ she said, still looking pale.

‘Don’t worry, you were doing pretty well to begin with and then Samantha left him in no doubt of what rest of us thought of him,’ said Jane. ‘I don’t think I have ever seen her look so angry — it was just like a lioness defending her cub.’

‘And now I have spoiled your beautiful dress as well,’ said Denise with tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

‘No I promise you haven’t, the mark will easily clean off,’ added Jane putting her arm round her friend’s shoulder to comfort her.

John, who had been looking intensely embarrassed throughout the whole incident, offered to drive Denise and Samantha home.

‘No, we’ve all had far too much to drink; it would really round off the evening if you were to be arrested for driving under the influence, as well as everything else,’ said Denise. ‘I’ll call myself a cab.’

‘At least let me pay your taxi fare, as partial recompense for the drunken behaviour of my so-called friend,’ said Simon.

‘Thank you very much’, interposed Samantha, without reference to anyone else. ‘I’ll take her home and see that she is ok.’

‘Alright, but let me change out of this dress and take off the basque first, I have hardly been able to breathe all evening.’

---

John arranged for a taxi whilst Jane and Simon cleared up the meal and Samantha helped Denise to get changed. There was an awkward five minutes once she emerged wearing her own clothes and before the taxi arrived. Nobody knew quite what to say. At last Denise herself broke the silence.

‘Jane, I am so sorry to have spoiled your dinner party and your dress. I will arrange for it to be cleaned.’

‘You didn’t, you haven’t, and you won’t,’ she answered decisively. ‘None of this was your fault. I am only sorry that we inflicted the company of such an ignorant pig on to you. Believe me, I was really pleased and grateful to have you as my bridesmaid and now we are both proud to have you as a friend.’

Simon nodded in agreement.

Denise coloured a little but looked a little calmer.

‘Thank you. It is just that everything about my transition has been so easy until now. His reaction to me took me by surprise.’

‘I suppose you were bound to come across a Neanderthal at some time. If it ever happens again you will be better prepared’.

‘I hope so.’

‘At least you had everyone else on your side.’

‘Yes,’ she said absently.

The intercom buzzer sounded to denote the arrival of their taxi.

‘Thank you again for the lovely meal,’ said Denise recovering herself.

‘I am glad you came’, said Jane, giving her friend another hug.

---

John saw Denise and Samantha out to the waiting cab. Samantha got in first and started to explain to the driver where they wanted to go. Denise stood for a moment looking into his eyes trying to ascertain what he was thinking. He kissed her on the forehead and said, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ then opened the door and helped her to get in.

As the cab drove away she could see him standing by the roadside looking pensive.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 2

A confession

Neither of the two friends spoke very much in the taxi going home from Jane’s dinner-party; they were both reflecting on the events of that evening. Once they arrived at their flat Samantha paid off the taxi and they went in together.

‘Are you sure that you are feeling alright Denise?’ Samantha asked as they took off their coats.

‘Yes I am fine now thanks, it was just a passing feeling of light-headedness.’

Samantha put down her case, and went to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water, and offered one to Denise, who declined.

‘You really need to find out what is causing these fainting fits. It is no longer fashionable for young ladies to be swooning around everywhere you know.’

‘I think I already know what is causing them; they are the side-effect of some tablets that I have been taking, but I promised my sister this morning that I will stop taking any more until after I have consulted a doctor about the problem.’

‘What sort of tablets?’

Denise looked at little embarrassed.

‘Just some tablets that I bought to try and stop my body from making any more testosterone and turning me into a man. I suppose I will have to wait now until I can take them under medical supervision,’ she said wearily

‘Denise, you need to be careful and take things a bit more slowly.’

‘I know, but I could not bear the idea of going back to being a man.’

‘Look, I am not trying to be funny, but I am not sure that you ever were one in the first place.’

‘Oh Samantha, if only that were true,’ she replied longingly. ‘I feel like a woman, and maybe I look like one on the outside, but I know that underneath everything I still have a man’s body — albeit one that is not very well developed. I am very worried that something may happen one day to kick-start changes to make me more manly looking.’

‘Won’t the female hormones put a stop to any danger of that?’

‘Yes, they will eventually, but I don’t even know when my therapist plans to refer me for hormone treatment. He does not seem to share the same sense of urgency as I do.’

‘But you have only seen him a few times. I am sure that he recognises your worries but will want to be sure that you are mature enough to understand the implications of what you are doing, before you do anything irrevocable. I would advise you to be guided by him, and for heaven’s sake, please don’t start experimenting with self-medication.’

‘I know, perhaps I have been foolish, but I also wanted to see what it was like to feel like a real woman and to have a boyfriend.’

Samantha sighed.

‘I think that perhaps I was at fault there by making it so easy for you to go away with John for a weekend, as I did. I should have let you take one step at a time as a girl and not encouraged you to try and run before you have learned to walk properly.’

‘So do you now think my friendship with John is not such a good idea?’ asked Denise.

Samantha thought for a moment.

‘I don’t know whether or not it is a good idea. He is a really nice straightforward guy, but I do think he should have stood up for you better this evening.’

‘I suppose he was just as surprised by that outburst as everyone else.’

‘Perhaps, but if you had been my girlfriend, I would have punched that idiot in the face, even though he was bigger than me.’

Denise smiled and shook her head.

‘No, I wouldn’t have wanted to see any violence, particularly in your sister’s home, but perhaps he might have been a little more sympathetic and supportive of me afterwards,’ she said. ‘He just seemed so embarrassed by the whole affair.’

Samantha did not respond, so Denise continued after a moment.

‘By all accounts you did not do badly in standing up for me yourself, although at the time I was not fully aware of what was going on. Thank you, I do appreciate it,’ she said, taking her friend’s hands, and then, on impulse, kissing her on the cheek.

Samantha pulled away and looked ashamed of herself.

‘Denise, don’t do this to me, I can’t bear it,’ she said, beginning to tremble.

‘Oh! Sorry!’ said Denise puzzled.

Samantha did not answer immediately, but then began to cry.

‘Don’t you realise that I love you, and have always done so ever since we met?’ she said, with tears now streaming down her face.

‘I don’t understand what you mean! I would have done anything to continue to see you, but you refused to see me after Jane’s wedding.’

‘No silly, I only refused to meet with or have anything to do with Denis, because it was Denise that I fallen in love with. I always tried to make it clear that I really wanted to see you as Denise.’

‘But afterwards you went to great trouble to fix me up with a date with your cousin.’

‘I know, and it was a crazy idea that I now regret. At the time I thought that if you were going out with John then we would be able to continue to live together as girlfriends once the summer was over, and then I could admire you from afar. I did not realise that I would quickly become jealous of him.’

‘But you and your sister helped to turn me into a girl.’

‘I wasn’t involved at the beginning. But, if I did encourage you, it was only because that was what you appeared to want.’

Denise thought back to the time that they had first stayed together and how much she had enjoyed herself in the days leading up to the wedding.

‘Maybe so, but you cannot now expect me to revert being Denis again.’

Samantha now held her friend by the shoulders to steady her own trembling.

‘Of course I don’t want you to revert to being Denis. Don’t you understand that it is Denise that I love. My beautiful friend Denise, who is only just discovering her femininity.’

‘But I still don’t understand. Why should you feel for me like that when you are so lovely and feminine yourself? Just look at yourself in that mirror.’

Samantha was still wearing her long dress from the dinner and had her hair up. Her eye makeup was now a little smudged from her tears, but there was no doubt that she was a beauty.

‘I hate the way I look, because it sends misleading signals to other people,’ she responded. ‘I spent the whole of my first year at university avoiding the unwanted attentions of the guys in my class whilst, at the same time making myself unpopular with many of the girls who were envious of me. I was really lonely the whole time. That is until I met you.’

‘But I thought you had friends at university?’

‘They are not really friends; the girls only accepted my company as I seemed to attract plenty of guys to their table, but I have always felt myself to be an outsider.’

‘If you hate being a girl, why ever did you agree to work as a model for the summer?’

‘I needed a job but mainly because it was an opportunity to work with you. In any event, I don’t hate being a girl, it is just that I am just not sexually attracted to men.’

‘Oh!’ said Denise, not knowing what else to say.

‘Now I have told you, and you will hate me as well, just like all the other girls,’ she said with tears again running down her cheeks.

Denise hugged her and held her closely to herself.

‘Samantha, how could I hate you? These last two months that I have spent living and working with you have been the happiest time of my life. You will always be my friend, but you must understand that I am in a state of utter confusion over my sexuality. I rushed headlong into a sexual relationship with John without giving sufficient thought to the implications for us both. I think I now need a period of abstinence and reflection whilst I get my gender identity sorted out.’

‘As long as you don’t now go and start looking for somewhere else to live.’

‘No, I love living here with you and learning how to be a girl,’ she said and gave her friend another chaste kiss on the cheek. ‘Now I think I would like to go to bed, as it has been a long stressful day and there is a lot I need to think about. We’ll talk again in the morning.’

‘Alright then! Good night Denise’, said Samantha wiping her eyes.

---

Denise quickly got herself undressed and cleaned off her makeup. She put on a pair of pink satin pyjamas given her by Angela back in June, and lay on her bed with her eyes open. She was tired, but her mind was in turmoil. So much had happened since her friend had left for Singapore, and there were so many conflicting emotions. She had never before had so many friends that she cared about and who appeared to care about her, and yet life had suddenly become so complicated. It was not just her own emotions, but she also seemed to having an effect on those around her. It was several hours later before she eventually went to sleep.

---

Denise eventually came into the kitchen after midday on Sunday. Samantha was already there, sipping coffee. She did not look her best; she was still wearing a dressing gown, her hair was somewhat dishevelled and she had puffy eyes. Denise guessed that she probably looked not much better herself.

‘Hi Denise, did you have trouble sleeping?’

Denise nodded.

‘Me too!’

‘I’d guessed as much.’

Denise poured herself a cup of coffee and put on some toast.

‘I am sorry, I had no right to burden you with my problems last night, you have enough on your plate as it is,’ said Samantha.

Denise offered her a wry smile.

‘That’s what friends are for.’

‘Maybe, but last night I went too far and involved you in my emotional problems.’

‘Samantha, believe me, I value and want to retain your friendship. If that involves sharing your emotional problems then we will deal with it together.’

‘Thank you. I too would like to remain friends with you, if that is all we can be. However, the time has come for a lot more honesty in my life - about whom and what I am. I can’t keep pretending to be someone I am not.’

‘I know the feeling’, answered Denise.

‘I have often wanted to explain to Dad, but I did not want him to be a disappointed in me, especially when Mum was so ill and after she died. Now that Jane is married and he will soon be a grandfather, I think he should be strong enough to learn the truth about his younger daughter.’

‘Does Jane know?’ asked Denise.

‘I have never spelled it out to her but I suspect she does probably suspect as much — it is not the sort of thing you can hide from your sister for very long. We do all these girly things together, but I think she realises that I am not happy with my life as it is.’

‘She is probably just waiting for you to come and tell her in your own time.’

‘Perhaps you are right.’

‘How about John, does he suspect anything?’

‘I doubt it, he is only a guy after all — they are not very emotionally perceptive.’

The one thing that Denise most appreciated about her friendship with Samantha was that she never saw her as anything but a real woman. She was now relieved that her friend had been so resolute in declining any contact with Denis back in May.

‘Once Jane does know for sure, she will probably help you to break the news to your father. I found my sister was a great help as an intermediary with my mother. She helped to soften the blow somehow.’

‘Thanks for the advice Denise. I am sure you are right. There is just one other thing though.’

‘What is that?’

‘Once I return to university in September, I am going to come out as a lesbian and stop ‘advertising’ myself as an available female looking for a mate, by what I wear and how I behave.’

‘Oh Samantha, please don’t start wearing dungarees and Doc Martens and get yourself a crew-cut— you would make an even less convincing bloke than I used to do,’ said Denise smiling.

Samantha also smiled at the idea.

‘Maybe so, but I don’t have to wear the “fuck me pumps” and tight skirts that some of the other girls in my year choose to wear.’

‘You can advertise your sexual preferences perfectly well just by being upfront and open with people. Since you have asked for my opinion, I would say that you have great looks — as a girl — and it would be a shame to try and disguise that fact just to make a political point, but of course it is your decision’.

‘So you’d have me be a ‘lipstick lesbian?’

‘I’d have you be whatever makes you happy and fulfilled. As I said last night, what you choose to wear is your business. But what are you intending to do about the modelling job?’

‘There is only one more month to go, so I will finish my commitments before I make any changes to my appearance.’

‘That will at least keep Sue happy,’ said Denise.

‘Yes, what is it with Sue recently; she has been singularly chirpy for the last couple of weeks?’

‘It must be this guy she has met.’

Samantha sighed.

‘It amazes me, you get an intelligent, independent woman like Sue who meets a new guy and suddenly she starts behaving like a schoolgirl.’

‘I hardly think she is behaving like a schoolgirl. She still gets on with her work in a professional manner, but is just a little more cheerful than usual. It is always nice to have a partner to go out with and share your life — that is what attracted me about going out with your cousin, but then of course sex came along and began to complicate matters.’

‘It looks as if, like you, I will also be condemned to a life of abstinence and reflection’, answered Samantha wearily.

‘Well you could always join a nunnery,’ said Denise with a twinkle in her eye.

‘No chance, there would be too much temptation for me,’ said Samantha. ‘I might end up fancying one of the sisters, or even the Mother Superior.’

As they were talking, Denise’s mobile phone started to ring. It was the ring tone that she had allocated to John.

‘Hi John!’ she answered cheerily.

She listened to him speaking for a minute or two.

‘Alright, just give me an hour or so to make myself look respectable, then you can come and pick me up.’

She put the phone away.

‘Oh dear!’ she said to Samantha.

‘What’s that?’

‘That sounds rather ominous! It was John. There is something important that he wants to talk to me about.’

‘In that case I think perhaps I also ought to get dressed and go and have a heart-to-heart talk with my sister,’ said Samantha.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 3

Clearing the decks

Denise already knew the outcome of her forthcoming discussion with John, for she had decided that if he did not say the necessary words, then she would do so herself. But, given all the circumstances, she felt the decision might be better coming from him rather than her. She wanted to look her best to boost her own self-confidence and so she was quite relieved that he took more than the promised hour to arrive at the flat. It gave her the chance to change into one of her summer dresses, as befitted the weather outside, and also to disguise the evidence of her sleepless night with cosmetics. He arrived at 2.30 pm, shortly after Samantha had left to go and see here sister, having first telephoned to make sure that she was alone for the afternoon.

‘Shall we take a drive out to Twickenham?’ he asked. ‘Simon has told me about a pub he knows there, next to the river Thames.’

‘That sounds fine to me,’ answered Denise trying to sound relaxed and friendly.

Twickenham is eight miles from Shepherd’s Bush, and on a Sunday afternoon the car journey takes about thirty minutes. John appeared to be nervous as he drove along the Great West Road, and he too displayed signs of not having slept too well. Denise looked expectantly but he seemed to be unable to initiate any conversation as they drove and so once they had turned off towards Richmond, she decided to say something herself to break the ice.

‘How are things back at the flat?’

‘Things are getting back to normal; everything is now cleared up and Jane has successfully removed the stain from her dress. Simon has gone round to have it out with his friend.’

‘Oh,’ she replied.

‘I suspect you may receive a grovelling letter of apology or else Simon says he will have nothing more to do with him. No matter how much he had to drink, his behaviour was inexcusable.’

‘I have no wish ever to see him again, and I think that both Samantha and I would not wish him to know our address; he does seem rather unstable,’ said Denise.

‘Simon realises that. If a letter is forthcoming, it will be conveyed to you via Jane.’

‘Alright, so be it, but it will be a long time before I forgive him for what he said.’

‘I know. I was up half the night talking to Simon about it. Apparently Peter is often rather full of himself, but Simon says that he has never seen him act in quite such a bigoted and aggressive manner. He now wonders about Peter’s sexuality. Apparently he has had dozens of girl-friends over the years but has never been able to sustain a relationship.’

‘From the evidence of his behaviour last night I can see why that should be,’ replied Denise.

‘For all we know, he may even have been envious of you.’

Denise smiled at the thought.

‘Do you really think so? If that is so, I can understand his anger; he would look awful in a dress.’

‘I have no idea if it is true or not, but we all have our secrets,’ added John.

‘I wonder what are yours?’ thought Denise as they continued their journey.

---

They found the pub in Twickenham without too much difficulty and parked the car, but Denise suggested they might go for a walk along the tow-path first, and John was happy to agree. Along with other couples, they ambled slowly along the path, but this time there was no physical contact between them. Once again she waited for him to initiate the conversation, but he seemed unwilling or unable to do so.

‘Alright John, it is now crunch time. What was it that you wanted to say to me that was so important?’ said Denise, feeling that they could no longer avoid speaking of the issue that they were clearly both thinking about.

He blushed.

‘Yesterday evening you said that you would not think less of me if I wanted to back out.’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Did you mean it?’

‘Yes I did mean it; I like you too much to joke about such matters’.

‘Well, what made you say that?’

‘Because, in spite of how much I like you, I think our relationship may have been a mistake for both of us.’

He looked down at his feet.

‘I think I now share the same opinion as you do, although I feel such a coward to be backing off, just after you were savaged by that bully last night.’

‘Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of other people to stand up for me last night — most notably my flatmate.’

‘I think that I got carried away in Brighton. I was so proud and excited to be seen out with someone as lovely as you are, and then afterwards to discover that you were willing to sleep with me. It was like a dream come true, but at the time I did not think about the difficulties involved.’

‘You mean the difficulty of explaining to your mother and father that your new girlfriend has a penis.’

‘I suppose so,’ he answered looking decidedly shamefaced.

Denise stopped walking and turned to face him, looking him directly in the eye.

‘If we had stayed together you would have to give up a lot, even after my gender re-assignment. There could be no chance of any children, and there would always be gossip about my past.’

‘You must think me a coward.’

‘Perhaps a little bit, but, as the saying states, ‘’discretion is the better part of valour’’. In any event, you were not the only one at fault. I too got carried away. I became intoxicated by exercising the power that dressing as a woman has brought to me, without sufficiently thinking about how to use it responsibly. After eighteen years as a nonentity, I suddenly found that people began to take notice of me, and it was very flattering.’

‘Denise, you are still very young and only just beginning to find your way as a woman.’

‘Yes, and I think I now ought to spend a little time getting used to my new life before I think about any other relationship.’

They began to walk again without saying anything. Eventually he spoke again.

‘I would like to think that we could still remain as friends,’ he said tentatively.

She smiled before replying.

‘Yes, I would like that too, but no more nights together in hotel rooms,’ she replied.

‘Agreed!’

‘In any event, I have half-promised my sister that you and I would help her to move in to her new flat at the end of the month.’

‘I would be very happy to do so, I liked your sister and got on well with her last week,’ he replied.

---

Denise felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, now that the air had been cleared between them and they both knew where they stood. They made their way back to the pub to have a last drink together, where they chatted a little awkwardly about things other than themselves or their past. At seven p.m. he drove her home once again. As she got out of the car and blew him a final kiss, she noticed Samantha about fifty yards away, returning from the tube station. She waved goodbye to John and then stood waiting for her friend to catch up, trying to read the expression on her face. He friend looked tired and anxious.

‘Have you spoken to Jane?’

Samantha nodded.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Samantha sighed, and then replied.

‘Yes please.’

‘Come in then and I’ll make us both a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it.’

---

‘So how did it go?’ asked Denise.

‘I believe it went as well as could be expected in the circumstances.’

‘Did she know already?’

‘She says that she’d had her suspicions but was not sure since her friends who are lesbians are all fairly butch. In any event, she had tended to push any suspicions to the back of her mind as she had her own things to worry such as her wedding and pregnancy.’

‘So how does she feel now that she has had her suspicions confirmed?

‘I don’t know really. It seemed to be no big deal for her. She just accepted the news and then asked if I was going to tell Dad.’

‘And are you?’

‘We discussed the pros and cons of trying to keep it a secret from him, but in the end decided that it was better to be honest. She has agreed to help me to break the news to him and so we are travelling to Birmingham together next weekend.’

‘Good luck. I’ll be thinking of you.’

‘Thanks, but there is one other thing.’

‘Go on’.

‘I am not ashamed of who I am, but I would rather you did not say anything about it at work or to my cousin until after I have had a chance to tell Dad.’

‘Of course I won’t say anything. It is your business and nothing to do with me.

‘Thanks.’

‘In any event, John and I have decided to go our separate ways, by mutual agreement.

Samantha looked a little awkward.

‘Denise, don’t misunderstand why I am saying this, but I now think that you have made the right decision.’

‘Maybe I should join a nunnery as well’ said Denise laughing.

‘I don’t think you would quite qualify — yet,’ said Samantha.

‘No, but maybe I will in a few months time.’

---

Later that evening, Denise had a long telephone chat with Alison, who had just returned from a long weekend away with her boyfriend. After asking how her friend had enjoyed her weekend, and then fishing for some more information about Sue and her new boyfriend, Denise brought her up to date with events in her own life. She gave a humorous account of Jane’s dinner party and Peter’s outburst.

‘My goodness wasn't he a jerk! I thought his kind became extinct along with the Dodo,’ said Alison.

‘Clearly not, there must be an isolated breeding colony somewhere.’

‘More likely an inbreeding colony, from the sound of it,’ she replied. ‘But why did you faint like that, or was it just a ruse to get rid of him?’

‘No, it was a genuine faint, I was quite prepared to stand up for myself, but suddenly I felt light-headed. I think it was probably due to the tablets you gave me as I have fainted a few times since I started taking them, but don’t worry, I have stopped taking any more until I have seen an endocrinologist.’

‘You should have mentioned it to me before, you no doubt need to have a lower dosage. However, perhaps it is just as well that you have stopped. It might be wise to mention what happened when you eventually see the doctor, but please don’t tell him where you got them from.’

‘Don’t worry; I’ll say I bought them off the Internet.’

---

The following day at work discussion was all about Jane’s dinner party.

‘Alison told me what happened; I hope you were not too upset by the events’ said Sue.

‘I was a little, but ignorance like that is something I will have face from time to time as a transsexual, but I am determined not to let it get to me,’ answered Denise.

‘I am glad. From what I have seen of you over the last few months I think you should be intelligent enough to rise above such bigotry.

‘Thanks. I was more concerned about having spoiled Jane’s dress, but fortunately she tells me it is now alright.’

‘If you wish, I’ll look out for a suitable long evening dress for you, so that the next time you are invited out to a posh dinner do not have to borrow one,‘ said Helen, joining the conversation.

‘That is very kind of you Helen, thank you very much, but I don’t envisage attending may formal events for some time,’ replied Denise.

‘You never know,’ said Sue.

‘Denise, when you have finished what you are doing, would you mind coming to see me in my office,’ said Helen.

---

‘Come in and sit down Denise,’ said Helen a half an hour later.

Denise did as she was told.

‘So let us get down to business. Over the last three weeks our sales have been steadily increasing, as we put more of the catalogue online. I can’t see that rate of increase changing until late October, and by then our turnover should have risen by 50% over the previous year. If my projections prove to be accurate it will have been largely due to your work. We have already spoken about your annual bonus due next month. At the outset I promised you  £1,000 when the modelling job was completed. I have now decided to bring that forward to your September pay cheque, and then I will match that with a further  £1,000 when the job is complete.’

‘Thank you, that is very generous of you,’ replied Denise. ‘The extra money will help me to begin to fund my transition, but I am not the only person in the office who is responsible, there is Sue and Samantha, and in fact everyone in the office has helped to some degree.’

‘I know that, and I will be taking it into account when assessing their bonuses,’ answered Helen, ‘and I will also give Samantha an extra payment when she leaves us next month.

‘I am glad about that,’ answered Denise.

‘I shall also be recruiting a new office junior in September who will take over most of your existing clerical jobs. Once you have taught her what to do, I should like you to begin playing a more central role in the business, dealing with clients, visiting show rooms, choosing which lines we shall market etc. Above all, I should also like you to be on the lookout for ways in which we can continue to expand or automate the business. Of course I will be amending your pay accordingly.’

‘Thank you Helen, that sounds like an interesting and exciting opportunity. I promise to do my best for you.’

‘That brings me to my final point. Storage space is likely to be at a premium over the next few months if we are going to cope with the extra business. I am currently storing three cardboard boxes for Denis. Two of them contain his clothes and one with other items and documents. It would be helpful to know how long I will need to keep them.’

‘Oh yes, sorry, I had forgotten all about them. I suspect I will no longer have any need for them as I have now passed the point of ever turning back. Maybe I could just have a last check through the boxes this evening, just to make sure there is nothing important. Afterwards I will arrange either to give them away to a charity shop or otherwise dispose of them in the morning.’

‘As long as you are sure that is what you wish to do; I am not trying to push you into any particular course of action,’ answered Helen.

‘No, I am quite sure what I need to do. It is time for me to look to the future and not try to hang on to the past.’

‘In that case keep anything you might need and leave the remainder in cardboard boxes outside my office tonight. I will either take them to the charity shop or otherwise dispose of them in the morning,’ said Helen.

---

Thus, on Tuesday 10th August 2004, Denise said goodbye to the bulk of the remaining evidence of the existence of a young man named Denis Simons. In less than three months since Jane’s wedding everything had changed. All that was now left of her previous life were a few official documents and the evidence of her own body; and she hoped to be able to begin the process of rectifying both of these over the next few weeks.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 4

Two important discussions

‘Well Denise, I get the impression that we have made some good progress today,’ said Dr Collett, at the end of their interview on Wednesday morning. ‘You seem to me to be more open and willing to discuss your feelings than you have been before. Why do you think that should be so?’

Denise had certainly felt herself to be more relaxed and less on edge on this occasion than she’d done at previous meetings.

‘I suppose it is because I am now resigned to the fact that this process may take a long time, but it maybe because I decided to finish a relationship that I had been having with a guy on Sunday,’ she answered.

‘Was it a sexual relationship?’ he asked.

‘Yes it was, but I came to the conclusion that it was not a good idea, for the time being at least. We have agreed to remain as friends only.’

‘I think it is probably a wise decision at least whilst you are undergoing transition, as you will need to concentrate on other issues. Sex and gender are two entirely different things and should not be confused with one another. Gender is in the mind, sex is between the legs. At this stage we are here to try and address your gender identity disorder, the roots of which are in your mind. Any alteration to your body must come later.’

‘I know’, answered Denise, sighing a little. ‘I am sorry if I have appeared impatient to move forward, it is as if my life is now on ‘hold’, but I will try and take things more calmly in the future.

‘It is not unusual for patients, such as yourself, to be anxious to proceed with hormones and surgery, but you have to be ready and I have to be sure that it is in your best interests. I am, however, conscious that you have been living successfully as a woman for some time already and if we continue to make such good progress next week, we can soon begin to talk about moving on to the next stage in the process and consulting an endocrinologist to examine your body. Yet there is one thing that is still worrying me a little, which you might be willing to address.’

‘What is that?’ asked Denise.

‘I accept that you are an adult and do not need the permission of your parents, but you are also still relatively young to be embarking on such an irrevocable course of action. You seem to be clear in your own mind, but I would be happier knowing that you had also discussed your plans with your mother at least.’

‘I have spent a weekend with my mother as Denise and we had a long talk. She was a little unhappy at first, but in the end, she was supportive.’

‘Did you discuss with her your intention of taking female hormones and ultimately having sex reassignment surgery?’

‘No, not exactly, I was waiting to know when it would start and how long it would take first. I have however discussed it with my sister and she understands how important it is to me.’

‘I think it would be useful to you to know that you have the support of all your family before you go any further down this road.’

‘In that case I will go and see her this weekend.’

‘Good!’ he said smiling. ‘We can meet again at the same time next week and you can let me know how you got on.’

---

That evening Denise telephoned her sister in Norwich.

‘Hi Jules, can I come and stay with you on Friday night?’

‘You can if you wish, I have an inflatable mattress and a sleeping bag which you are welcome to use, but I warn you that I have begun to pack some of my belongings in boxes ready for the move to London. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable staying with mum?’

‘No. I need some advice from you before I go to see mum on Saturday.’

‘What sort of advice can I give to my little sister?’ she asked.

‘I want to know how I can begin to explain to mum that I am not satisfied with the body that she gave me?’ said Denise.

Julia drew breath.

‘I suppose it does sound a little awkward, not to say ungrateful on your part, when you put it like that, but all you can do is to be honest and straightforward with her about your plans. Does your therapist support you?’

‘Yes, he has suggested that I should now discuss them with mum. How do you think she will react?’ asked Denise.

‘I am not sure. Whenever she speaks about you these days she never refers to you as Denis or as he. She is not a fool and I think that perhaps she already suspects the outcome.’

‘It would be helpful if it does not come as too much of a shock. So how should I play it?’

‘I suggest you telephone her and now and say that you would like to come to lunch on Saturday, because you have something important to discuss with her. That way she will at least have the opportunity to prepare herself.’

‘Will you be there to support me?’

‘Yes, if you want me to be. Ever since I came to stay with you for my interview, I have felt that you would probably be better off as a woman. If you are really sure that this is the right course of action for you to take then I will support you, and ultimately I think mum will do so as well.’

‘Thank you Julia. Elder sisters do have their uses at times.’

‘I am sure you would do as much for me. But what about Prince Charming?’ asked Julia.

‘John and I have agreed to cool it and in future only be friends. But don’t worry he has promised to help with your move. At the end of the month’

‘Good, it would be a shame to let a good man go to waste.’

---

Denise arrived as promised at her sister’s flat on Friday night, and they spent several hours talking together before going to bed. The next morning she dressed carefully, wishing to look pretty and yet demure for the coming interview with her mother. As she did so she received a text message from Samantha.

Told Dad last nite — tears b4 bedtime! — but as Ma Julian says ‘all will be well’. Gr8 w8 off my shoulders, luv Sam xx

She texted back

Well done! Now keep yr fingers +ed 4 me, luv D.

The two sisters arrived at their mother’s house at 1.00pm to find that Ellen had prepared them a cold meal

‘Well I must say it is nice to have the two of you to lunch again,’ she said. ‘It will not be the same when you are both working in London. So how is the job going Denise?’

‘Fine thanks mum, the firm is doing really well. Helen wants me to take on some new responsibilities once I have finished the modelling in the autumn.’

‘New responsibilities … as Denise?’

Denise nodded.

‘Yes — long-term responsibilities.’

‘I see.’

‘I have also started to consult a therapist specialising in gender identity issues. He has advised me to discuss with you the course of action I am intending to take.’

Ellen did not look surprised.

‘In that case you had better tell me exactly what you have in mind.’

‘As far as I am concerned Denis is now dead and the rest of my life will be spent as Denise. I am far happier living as a woman than ever I was as a man, and believe I can continue to do so successfully. I therefore intend to begin taking female hormones as soon as I am able, which will irreversibly change the shape of my body. I will also formally change my name and begin to create a new official identity for myself as a woman. In time, when I can afford to pay for it, I intend to have corrective plastic surgery, to enhance my breasts if necessary, to remove my penis and create a vagina.’

Ellen flinched momentarily as she said the final sentence, but otherwise stayed quite calm.

‘How long will it all take?’ she asked.

‘About two years to judge the effects of the hormones and to get a Gender Recognition Certificate, where I will be recognised as a woman, for all official purposes. After that it will rather depend upon the state of my finances to finish the job. I will have to save as much as possible’

‘You are certain that it is the right thing for you to do.’

‘Mum, I have never been so certain of anything in my life. It is something that I need to do.’

‘So what do you want from me?’ asked Ellen.

‘I don’t have to have your permission, but I would be grateful to continue to receive both your support and your love, and for you to be proud of your younger daughter,’ she replied, as a tear began to slowly make its way down her cheek.

Ellen turned to Denise with a look of great tenderness.

‘Of course I will always love and support you, and be proud of you as well. You are, after all, my … daughter,’ said Ellen, with only the slightest hesitation between the last two words, as if she was just getting used to saying them.

‘So you won’t mind what your neighbours or our relations think of me.’

‘No, not at all! In fact, it will be quite something to be able to boast about “my daughter the transsexual” to my friends, I am not aware that anyone else that I know has one.’

Denise laughed at the idea, and then got up from the table to hug her mother. Julia, who had been looking on silently, joined in as well.

‘The main thing is that we are a family and love one another,’ said Ellen.

‘Nobody could ask for a better mum, responded Denise.

‘I agree,’ said Julia.

‘There is one way that I can help you Denise,’ said Ellen after they had sat down again..

‘What is that?’

‘As part of the divorce settlement, your father invested  £5,000 for each of you, to help pay for your higher education, before he left the country. Julia has spent her money whilst she was at university, but your money is still available, and has almost doubled in value since it was invested. As it now looks as if you are not going to choose to go on to university, I don’t see why it should not be used to fund any surgery you may require.’

‘Mum, that will be marvellous, it will mean that I will be able to live a more normal life over the next two years and not have to scrimp and save every penny I earn.’

‘It is still gathering interest and will be available when you need it. When will it all start?’

‘I already have enough money saved to pay for my hormones. I hope I will receive my letter of recommendation soon.’

---

They continued talking for some time before moving on to discuss the details of Denise’s life in London and Julia’s new job and flat. After lunch Ellen made a surprising suggestion.

‘Why don’t you girls come up to my bedroom. There are some evening dresses and shoes that I used to wear as a young woman, but which would still look today. I can no longer get into them, but you two may be able no wear them.’

She was right, the dresses and shoes fitted the two girls quite well, so they each chose one outfit to try on.

‘I will get my digital camera, as I would like to have a nice photograph of my two daughters to put on the sideboard.’

‘In that case I had better refresh my makeup and do my hair,’ said Denise.

‘You can tell which one of us has been working as a model,’ commented Julia.

Ellen loaned them some of her remaining jewellery and Denise explained to her sister how to use makeup to look her best in front of the camera. As soon as they were ready Ellen proceeded to take some photographs of them both individually and together, and finished with a timed shot of herself and her two daughters.

‘You both look so nice in those dresses that you are welcome to keep them if you wish,’ said Ellen.

‘Thanks mum I could do with a long dress,’ said Denise.

---

Hanging in the back of their mother’s wardrobe they also came across her beautiful silk wedding dress, and another which she had once worn as a bridesmaid.

‘Mum you once promised to let me try on your wedding dress, may I do it now?” said Julia, “Denise can be my bridesmaid.’

‘Alright then, as long as you let me take a photograph of you both together.’

The two dresses fitted well and Ellen provided suitable shoes and accessories. She also picked some flowers from her garden to provide two poesies. For the next hour or so they had a lot of fun posing for the camera. When they had finished Julia turned to Denise and asked whether she would like to take a turn as the bride.

‘Yes please, as long as mum does not mind.’

Julia and her mother helped her to put on the long dress and the veil. It felt wonderful to be dressed as a bride and, as she admired herself in the mirror, she wondered what it would be like to be a real bride one day.

‘I think that wedding dress suits you better than it did me,’ said Julia, ‘I'm quite envious of you.’

‘Please don’t be, you will get to choose and wear your own wedding dress one day, whereas I'll only ever be an onlooker,’ said Denise, a little sadly.

Julia affectionately squeezed her sister’s hand in an attempt to cheer her up.

‘If and when I do get married I'll want to have you as my chief bridesmaid,’ she said.

‘I shall be happy to do so,’ responded Denise smiling.

---

It was early evening when Denise and her sister reverted to their original clothes. Julia decided to return to her own flat and continue with her packing but Denise stayed the night with her mother. They downloaded the pictures on to Ellen’s computer and made copies of the files on to disks. Denise then showed her mother how to select the three best of them and to edit them using Photoshop. Eventually they printed three copies of each on to photographic paper.

‘Both my daughters look beautiful in these pictures, but Denise you are the same age as I was when I got married, and with that long fair hair you remind me of how I looked at the time.’

‘In that case you must have looked beautiful on your wedding day,’ said Denise, laughing.

---

Before going to bed she sent a text to Samantha.

Julian was right! All now well, details later. D.

Her friend replied.

‘Good! Parents can be such a worry!

---

The next morning Ellen insisted on writing a letter to Dr Collett, although Denise told her it was not necessary. In it she assured him that after much consideration and discussion, Denise had her mother’s and her sister’s full support in her intention of living the rest of her life as a woman, and that she hoped he could help her to achieve her aim. She handed it to her daughter to pass on to the therapist.

Denise took the train back to London on Sunday afternoon feeling that one more item had been ticked off her checklist, and she was one step closer to her ultimate aim.

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 5

Some preliminary investigations

Denise and Samantha compared notes about their respective weekends as they travelled into work on Monday morning. In the end, neither of their anxieties had been justified and their different worlds had not come crashing down. Samantha’s father had no idea about his daughter’s sexuality, and was inevitably a little surprised and disappointed that he would not be able to help celebrate her marriage and was unlikely to have children. However, as with Denise’s mother, he had taken the news in his stride and decided that the best way he could show his love was in supporting his child’s choices. By the end of the weekend she had felt closer to her father and sister than she had during the last few years of pretence on her part. Denise too confirmed that opening her soul to her mother and her sister had brought their family together.

---

During the morning coffee break Samantha quietly announced her lesbian sexuality in the middle of a conversation with her colleagues. Once again there was no big deal. No-one spluttered or dropped their coffee cup. Some of her colleagues merely displayed mild surprise, or else a concern for her future, but there was no sense of shock or of condemnation that she had half expected.

‘Maybe we exaggerated these things in our own minds, and they never were going to be the great issue that we feared,’ commented Samantha as they began to get themselves ready for the next series of shots. ‘Perhaps most of the problem is in our own minds.’

‘Possibly you're right,’ said Sue, ‘but I don't think it has always been so.’

‘No, our world is a lot more broad-minded and understanding of the complexities of human life than the one in which our parents’ grew up,’ said Denise. ‘Those who differ from the norm, like Samantha and I, are no longer as isolated as we once were. We can now find information and an understanding of our respective conditions on the Internet. We can now access advice or therapy to help us come to terms with our true selves and, if we wish, make contact with others just like us. We no longer have to think of ourselves as freaks, and try and hide our feelings from our friends and families.'

‘Yes, but as you discovered last weekend, there are still are pockets of ignorance and bigotry,’ said Samantha. ‘Even the law does not yet recognise your right to live as a woman if you choose, or my right to marry a woman.’

‘True, but I understand that things are about to change, as a result of various rulings by The European Court of Human Rights which have forced the UK Government to introduce new legislation. By the time I complete my transition I should be able to be legally recognised as a woman, and, if the Civil Partnerships Bill goes through Parliament, you and your chosen partner will soon be able to enjoy most of the same rights as a married couple, and even adopt children, if you wish to do so,’ said Denise.

‘No doubt things are getting better in Europe and the USA but there are still large areas of the world where to be different is to invite persecution and perhaps even death. Even in the west it will still be necessary for us to live our lives with a degree of discretion so as “not to frighten the horses”,’ added Samantha.

During the remainder of the morning session, their conversation moved on to other less serious subjects. Sue certainly did seem far chirpier than her usual self. The two models tried to extract some more information about her boyfriend, but she was not particularly forthcoming, beyond the fact that his name was Adam; he was a professional photographer, and that they seemed to be getting on quite well. There was an element of good-natured banter between the three of them, but Denise and Samantha soon found that their friend was beginning to blush and so let the matter drop for the time being.

---

Although Denise enjoyed her job, Monday afternoon and Tuesday seemed to drag on interminably as she waited for her next appointment with Dr Collett first thing on the Wednesday morning. Now that the details of the therapy she was undergoing were known to her colleagues, it was relatively easy for her to arrange things with Sue and Samantha so that her appointments did not unduly disrupt their work. There was always plenty for her to do at other times to make up for the lost time and even to work some overtime to help pay for the consultations.

---

Dr Collett began their next meeting by raising the issue of Denise’s sexual orientation, which they had not had time to discuss the previous week.

‘To be honest with you, Dr Collett I'm confused about my sexuality’ she replied. ‘Until I started to live as Denise a few months ago I was always too shy to have any physical relationship. I've always preferred the company of girls to that of boys, but I'm not sure whether that was because I sub-consciously wanted to be one. As I mentioned last week, I have had one brief sexual relationship with a man, and I must admit I quite enjoyed the experience of the power that it gave me. However, in retrospect I feel it may have been a mistake. I am also currently sharing a house with a young woman who is coming to terms with lesbianism. I greatly enjoy her company, but we both need a prolonged period of abstinence and reflection.’

‘Once your transition has been completed, you may wish to explore your sexual orientation but in the meanwhile, I suggest you should rather concentrate on the process of transition itself.’

‘Very well Dr Collett.’

‘Now, did you go and see your mother last weekend?’

Dr Collett listened carefully to his patient’s account of her previous weekend and questioned her about her conversations with her mother and sister. He also read her mother’s letter. Eventually he seemed to be satisfied with what he had been told.

‘Alright then Denise, I can now say that it is my professional opinion that you are indeed suffering from Gender dysphoria, and it would be in your interests to receive medical intervention to assist you to live in their preferred gender identity as a woman. Under normal circumstances I would have expected two or perhaps three more sessions before I made my diagnosis, but you appear to have adopted a female life-style without any difficulty, and to have thought through the implications of what you are planning to do.’

‘Thank you,’ she replied, feeling greatly relieved by the news.

‘It's also fortunate that you do not have established financial, family or legal commitments, and that your mother and sister both appear to be supportive of your wishes,’ he continued. ‘You are still young and your male body does not appear to be fully developed, for reasons which your endocrinologist will no doubt wish to investigate. This has been the main reason, why you have been able to pass so well as a woman.’

‘So where do I go from here?’ asked Denise.

‘I think the time has come for you to move on to the next phase of your treatment and I am willing to write you a letter of referral to an endocrinologist recommending hormone treatment as a means of furthering your transition. However, this does not mean that your mental health therapy is at an end. The treatment of gender dysphoria is a collaborative process between different health professionals. I would therefore like to see you from time to time during your continuing treatment. If, at a later date, you wish to proceed to have surgical intervention you will need letters of referral from both your endocrinologist and a mental health therapist.’

‘Yes I understand,’ said Denise.

Not all endocrinologists will have experience working with transgendered patients. It is up to you to decide, but I could recommend one to you if you wish.

‘Yes please.’

‘If you call back to my clinic after you have finished work this evening, my secretary will provide you with your letter of referral and also the names and addresses of a number of endocrinologists that I have successfully worked with in the past. However, do not expect to come away with a large bottle of pills after your first visit, your doctor will need to examine you and carry out various tests to establish what is going on in your body before they start to prescribed a hormone regime. I would like to see you again in late September. By then you should have begun your journey to become a physical woman.’

‘Thank you very much for your help Dr Collett,’ said Denise as she got up to leave.

‘Good luck with your transition,’ he replied smiling.

---

That evening Denise conducted a web search of the four names on Dr Collett’s list based in London. She also rang Alison for advice, but she could not help, except to say that once she had been given the relevant prescriptions she would probably be in a position to supply the hormones at a substantial discount from a normal pharmacy prices. In the end decided on the only female doctor on the list, Maude Spencer, who happened to be based at a large National Health Service hospital about fifteen minutes’ walk from her work. The following morning she rang her clinic for an appointment, and was told that there would be a six week delay. She then indicated that she wished to be treated as a private patient and was offered a one-hour appointment late the following afternoon. Having to make up the time for two medical appointments in one week, would have been problematic, however, now that she did not have to make time to see John at the weekends, Denise was free to work. She therefore arranged with Helen to spend the whole of Saturday working on enhancements to the ordering system.

On Thursday night she also carefully unstuck her breast forms, knowing that she would probably have to undergo a physical examination the next day. The skin underneath was pale, but fortunately there was no trace of soreness. It would do her no harm to leave them unattached for one day, in the hope that soon she would begin to grow a pair of her own.

---

Denise arrived at the clinic in plenty of time and gave her details and Dr Collett’s letter of referral to the receptionist. She provided her with a leaflet for private patients, describing the services offered by the clinic, including Gender Identity therapies, together with contact numbers and setting out a scale of fees. These were expensive, so she hoped that the number of consultations and period of treatment would not be prolonged, but Denise estimated that she would have enough money to cover this first stage or her transition without calling on the funds held by her mother.

After waiting for a few minutes a friendly, down-to-earth, woman in her early fifties came out to greet her.

‘Good afternoon Miss Symonds, I have just read Dr Collett’s letter so please come in to my office and sit down.’

‘Thank you,’ she replied, ‘and please will you call me Denise.’

‘Very well, Denise. No doubt Dr Collett has explained to you my role in your transition. The aim of hormone therapy will be to make you more comfortable with yourself, both in terms of your physical appearance, and how you feel about yourself. The hormones will begin to change your body shape so that is more female. These changes include the shrinking of your penis and testicles, the loss of some muscle and increase of fat on your hips. It will make it harder for you to get an erection and have an orgasm,’ she said.

‘That is not an issue for me,’ replied Denise.

‘Your breasts may also increase in size slightly, and you may have less facial and body hair. However, to be frank, several of your facial features already appear to be quite feminine already so you must not expect dramatic results,’ continued the Doctor.

‘The main thing is to ensure that I do not start becoming more masculine looking,’ answered Denise.

‘Hormone therapy will not have any effect on your voice, but again that does not seem to be a problem for you. Nor will it alter your height. While you are taking these hormones, you will need to have regular check-ups at my clinic to find out whether the hormone treatment is benefiting you. However, before we go any further I will need to give you a full physical examination and take some blood and urine samples for testing. We can then meet again in about a week’s time to discuss a possible treatment regime. Dr Collett also refers to your lack of masculine development in his letter, which we will have to investigate.’

‘There is one thing that perhaps I ought to mention Dr Spencer.’

‘What is that?’

‘A few weeks ago I took some Aldactone tablets for about ten days but they seemed to make me feel faint and so I decided to stop taking them.’

She frowned.

‘I see! I doubt if they have done you any permanent damage if you have stopped taking them, but if we are going to work together successfully you must promise not to take any medicines without first consulting me. I always believe in involving my patients in decisions about the treatment I prescribe, but I am not prepared to have my patients self-medicate whilst they are under my care.’

‘Yes Doctor, I understand and I realise now that it was a stupid thing to do, but it was just that I was frightened that my puberty might re-start and that I would turn into a man.’

Dr Spencer smiled.

‘There is probably no harm done on this occasion, but we have to trust one another if we are going to work together, and you are going to safely undergo hormone therapy.’

Denise found the medical examination to be rather embarrassing and also a little demeaning, particularly as it involved a detailed examination of her scrotum and the measurement of her penis, both of which she had rather wished to forget she ever had.

‘It is odd, almost as if your puberty has started and then come to a stop for some reason’.

The doctor also examined her chin for sighs of beard growth, her throat chest, where the breast forms had been attached.

‘Don’t worry’, said Dr Spencer, trying to dispel the embarrassment, ’we should soon be able to help you to grow some breasts of your own, without having to rely on silicone forms.

‘That is what I would really like above all else,’ Denise answered.

‘I can’t guarantee that they will be quite as large as the ones you have at present, but there is always the option of artificially enhancing them at a later date if you wish,’ she added.

Finally she was allowed to get dressed and the doctor took some blood and then gave her a bottle and asked to go to the toilet and provide a urine sample.

‘I am afraid it is too early to say anything definitive at the moment Denise, but given your desire to live as a woman, you seem to have quite a lot going for you in terms of your general appearance, absence of beard growth etc. If you come and see me this time next week, and we will have the results of your tests and know what is going on in your body. I will then be able to advise you on a suitable course of treatment’.

‘Thank you Dr Spencer’

---

‘The last week has really dragged and the next seven days are bound to seem like as many years,’ thought Denise to herself as she made her way home. ‘I must do something to take my mind off the waiting for news. Perhaps I could organise a girls’ night out for next weekend to give me something to look forward to.'

Denise discovers the nature of her condition

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 6

Two appointments at the clinic

Denise was right in her prediction that the following week would drag, even though she was very busy at work and continued to work overtime whenever she could. Her thoughts were forever drifting off to the results of her tests on the Friday, and what they would mean to her future life. One night she rang Julia, hoping for the opportunity of a long sisterly talk and to have her re-assurance. However, it was clear that she was experiencing the opposite. Before she could begin the conversation Julia had said that she could not talk for long on the phone as time was running away and she had so much still to do in preparation for her move to London that weekend.

‘How will you be transporting all your belongings?’ asked Denise.

‘I was originally going to pay for a removal van, but I don’t have that much in the way of furniture and certainly not enough to fill a removal van. However, your friend John telephoned me last weekend and has offered to hire a small van in London and collect me from Norwich and then drive me to London. All I need to do is to have everything boxed up and ready to go by 10.30am.’

‘That is very kind of him,’ said Denise slightly surprised and pleased by the news.

‘Yes it is. I will make sure that I refund all his expenses, and will also invite you both to dinner soon afterwards, by way of thanks.’

‘What time do you expect to arrive at your new flat?’

‘’John thinks we should be there by about 1.30pm, but, if you like, I will send you a text message confirming our expected time of arrival.’

‘I will be there to help you unpack. Would you like me to bring some sandwiches and a flask of coffee for when you arrive?’

‘Yes please.’

---

Samantha also seemed pre-occupied with her own issues that evening and so, to help pass the time, after she finished work Denise sat down and began to compile a list of all the new documentation she would need for her new life as a woman and the official bodies that she would need to notify. She then searched the Internet to find the necessary regulations and procedures. It was going to be a lot more complicated than she had imagined. Once she had started on her medication, she would legally change her name by means of a Statutory Declaration which would involve visiting a solicitor. Then she would notify her bank of her new name and apply for a new National Insurance Number Card from the Department of Work and Pensions. This in turn would enable Helen to regularise the paperwork relating to her job, and thereafter she would be employed and paid in the name of Denise Simons. Once this was done and her salary was being paid into her bank account she would be able to apply for a credit card in her new name, and begin to create a credit record for herself. She would also apply for a provisional driving licence in her new name which would also show her new gender, and so serve as an identity card for many other purposes. However, she would need a letter from the Endocrinologist confirming she was undergoing treatment before she could obtain a replacement passport. She would also need to register with a local doctor, which she had so far failed to do since she moved house in June, and ensure that she was listed on the register of electors. At every stage there would be a host of things to do, different forms to complete, and sometimes difficult explanations to be made, but in the end it would all be worthwhile.

---

At long last Friday came around. As usual when she had an appointment, Denise chose her outfit very carefully to make a clear statement about who she was and who she wanted to be. She had refrained from gluing back the false breasts during the last week just in case Dr Spencer needed to examine her again, but was anxious to do so as soon as possible. In truth she was anxious to have her own breasts as soon as possible but realised that it would be a year, at least, after she began her hormone therapy before she would see much signs of growth, and perhaps a further six months before she could even think about breast enhancement surgery. It was all going to take a long time and she had to be patient.

The morning was spent modelling clothes as usual, and then she used her lunch break to ensure that her hair and makeup were immaculate, before making her way to the clinic.

---

Denise was shown into Dr Spencer’s office, feeling decidedly nervous. The doctor smiled and invited her to sit down.

‘Thank you for coming Denise. I now have the results of the blood and urine tests we took last week. I have to tell you that you are suffering from the XX male syndrome, which is also sometimes called the de la Chapelle syndrome.’

‘What is that?’ asked Denise.

‘It is a rare sex chromosomal disorder affecting about one in every 20-25,000 male children who are born. Normally there are twenty-three pairs of chromosomes, in each cell, twenty-two of which are the same for men and women. The last pair, which is known as the sex chromosomes, differs: there are two X chromosomes in females and an X and a Y chromosome in males. In your case that last pair contains two X chromosomes.’

‘Well doesn’t that mean that I am really female after all?’ asked Denise hopefully.

‘No, I am afraid not. Although you have some female characteristics in terms of your build and general appearance, you also have fully developed male genitalia including both testes,’ she replied sensing her disappointment.

‘So am I male or female?’ asked Denise.

‘Neither entirely one nor the other. You have female chromosomes but male physical features. Most men with XX male syndrome will have a male chromosome gene known as SRY attached to one of their X chromosomes, but you are one of the minority with this condition that do not do so. There must be other genes on other chromosomes that are responsible for your male physical features. To be honest, we do not fully understand the condition.’

‘So I am among a minority of sufferers of a very rare condition.’

‘Yes, I am afraid so.’

‘But what does it mean for me?’ asked Denise sounding increasingly worried.

‘Clearly your condition has not affected your intellectual development in any way and is now most unlikely to reduce your life expectancy, but there is one important issue. Although you have descended testes, I am afraid you will have no sperm production. In other words, you are infertile and there is nothing that can be done to alter that.’

‘That is not an issue for me. I am quite resigned that I will not be able to have children either as a man or a woman.’

‘There is also a chance that, in time, your testicles, will become cancerous. My advice to you would be to have them removed as soon as possible. We would then be able to control your condition and give you a relatively normal life in all other respects by administering either male or female hormones. You were referred to me because of your stated desire to live as a woman. In that case, as soon as your gonads have been removed I suggest that you should begin a course of oestrogen. In your case there would be no need to treat you with anti-androgens or progestogens at the same time.’

‘When can you begin?’ asked Denise.

‘It is a simple procedure that I would be able to carry out under local anaesthetic, at my clinic. But you have to be clear that the procedure is irreversible, as also would be the effects of taking oestrogen. In my opinion the orchidectomy (or removal of your testes) is necessary to safeguard your long term health, but you are welcome to get a second opinion if necessary.’

‘I thought you said that I was sterile.’

‘I did, and I am afraid there is nothing that anyone will be able to do about that.’

‘In that case I wish to proceed with the orchidectomy as quickly as possible. I do not need a second opinion. When would you be able to do it?

‘If you wish I could do it on Tuesday morning. The procedure is quite straight-forward and you would be able to return to work after an hour or so.’

Would I then be able to begin on the hormone regimen?’ asked Denise.

‘Yes, I recommend taking estradiol, which is the main sex hormone present in females. It is less expensive compared with some of the alternatives and in my experience it is just as effective. The results for my previous patient have been very satisfactory. I think you should take it in the form of a combination oral estrogen and gel in the first instance.’

‘Why is that?’

‘We are aiming to provide you with a continuous low level supply of oestrogen throughout the day, rather than as large does, as this is less likely to have any effect on your liver. The best way to administer it is to place a 4 mg tablet under your tongue each day, plus two measures of estradiol gel. Injections and skin patches are possible alternatives, but I would not be happy with you administering your own daily injections, and skin patches can cause irritation.’

‘How long will it take before I notice any changes due to the hormone therapy?’ asked Denise.

‘It is difficult to say, perhaps a week or two, perhaps longer. Don’t get frustrated at how long it takes to produce results. It can take a few months for some changes to develop. It may be that you will notice differences in how you feel before you see any physical alterations to your body.’

‘What sort of differences?’

‘Estrogen levels have a noticeable impact upon mental health. You may experience sudden mood swings, heightened emotional feelings, such as bursting into tears and even bouts of depression once you start taking the tablets. This is not unusual and should be temporary once your body adjusts to the new levels of oestrogen. That is why we will need to monitor your treatment at regular intervals during the first few weeks.’

‘When can I start with the oestrogen?’

I will give you a prescription today, and I suggest you could start taking them as soon as we have completed your orchidectomy on Tuesday.

‘Thank you Dr Spencer.’

‘There are other areas where my colleagues often provide support to transgender patients, such as advice on dressing, body language and general behaviour in your new gender, language, speech therapy, or hair removal treatments. However, at first sight you do not appear to need much help with these. You seem to be able to pass as a woman without any difficulty.’

‘Thank you. My work has helped me a great deal with my dress sense and posture. Also I have been trying hard to listen to my female friends and colleagues and improve my use of language and gestures.’

‘Your medical condition has also greatly helped with your overall appearance, and reduced the need for hair removal treatment. Things seem to be going well for you in your proposed transition, but both your psychiatrist and I will wish to make another full assessment of your progress after three months.’

---

As soon as she left the clinic, Denise rang Alison at her work and told her, what the doctor had said and what drugs had been prescribed for her.

‘There will be no problem in my providing them, except that it is a Bank Holiday weekend. However, if you can provide me with your prescription sometime over this weekend, I will be able to let you have your medicines by Tuesday lunchtime,” she replied.

‘That will be fine I do not need to start taking them until Tuesday evening. I’ll bring the prescription round to your flat on Sunday night, if that is convenient.’

‘Unfortunately both Sue and I are planning to be away until Monday afternoon. How about coming round on Monday evening instead then you could stay for dinner as well and we can have a chat?’

‘Thanks I should like that.’

---

That evening Denise told Samantha all about her consultation with Dr Spencer, the diagnosis and the procedure she would soon go through.

‘So at the moment you are neither male nor female.’

‘Yes, but we will soon begin to correct that.’

‘It sounds as if next Tuesday will be “crunch-time”,’ said Samantha.

‘I sincerely hope not,’ said Denise. ‘I think she will use a scalpel, rather than two bricks.’

Samantha smiled.

‘But she won’t be cutting off whole thing?’

‘No that will come some time later. She will just be removing contents.’

‘Well, there is an old proverb that says ‘better an empty house than an ill tenant’.

‘In other words, 'better out than in'.’

‘And then you will also start taking the oestrogen?’

‘Yes, and then I am afraid you may have to put up with some tears and temper tantrums from me for a few weeks.’

Samantha rolled her eyes, ‘I remember the feelings; puberty can be a tumultuous time for a girl.’

‘So I understand.’

‘So Denise what are you planning to do to mark the loss of the last vestiges of your manhood and the advent of your womanhood?’

‘I don’t know really, I had wondered about inviting some friends out this weekend, but it is a Bank Holiday and a number of them will be going away,’ answered Denise.

‘In that case we should organise a little celebration for Tuesday evening, after the deed has been done.’

‘I should like to do something to acknowledge the help of my female friends.’

‘Great, it will be a girls’ night out. Leave it with me, I will telephone around and organise something,’ said Samantha.

‘Thank you.’

‘What are your plans for tomorrow Denise?’

‘My sister is moving in to her new flat, and your cousin John will be driving her down from Norwich. I thought I would look for a suitable flat-warming gift tomorrow morning and then go and help her to unpack and get settled in.’

‘Would Julia like me to help as well?’ asked Samantha.

‘Oh yes, I am sure she would, and I would be pleased as well. That way I won’t feel as if I am playing gooseberry in the afternoon.’

‘Do you think there is something going on between them?’ asked Samantha.

‘No, not as yet, but I should not want to get in the way in case it does,’ replied Denise.

Denise hears some more good news and
looks back over the events of the last few months

A Summer of Changes

Book 5 Chapter 7

The first day of the rest of her life

Julia had found for herself a rather nice single-bedded flat in Kennington, with its own bathroom and a kitchen/diner. It was on the top floor of a large early Victorian terraced house, which had been divided up into separate apartments. It was situated in a fairly quiet back not far away from the Park. It was a cosmopolitan neighbourhood. The rent was somewhat more than Denise might have afforded, but her sister had been working ever since she left University and had now found herself a much better-paid job, so she would be able to manage.

With the benefit of text messaging, Denise and Samantha were able to arrive at the new flat, together with their house warming present and some coffee and sandwiches, just as the van with John and Julia was pulling up. They all went inside and were briefly shown around by Julia. They had some lunch together before starting to unload the van. Fortunately John was able to manage the relatively few heavy boxes. The remainder were just a little awkward to negotiate up the stairs to her flat. Denise rarely wore trousers out of choice these days, but was pleased that she had chosen her jeans and an old t-shirt on this occasion.

By 3.30pm all of Julia’s belongings were safely inside the flat and so John left them to return the van to the hire company. The three girls began the task of unpacking the boxes and transferring their contents to the wardrobe, chests of drawers, cupboards and bookshelves.

‘That was very good of my cousin to offer to drive you and your belongings from Norwich,’ said Samantha to Julia.

‘Yes, particularly as I had only met him on a couple of occasions before,’ she replied. ‘I assumed he was trying to get back into my sister’s good books.’

‘We never had a row, but just agreed to part, as I will have other things to contend with over the next few months,’ said Denise.

‘OK, but as soon as I get my kitchen straight I will invite him round for a meal, to thank him for his trouble. Perhaps you two would like to come as well. I hardly know anyone else in London as yet.’

‘That will soon change once you begin work next week. You will soon have plenty of posh friends and won’t want to bother with your little sister,’ interposed Denise.

‘Now you know that is not true, I am very proud to have a sister, particularly one as nice as you. I just wish I’d had one a few years earlier rather than a moody and obnoxious little brother,’ she said giving Denise a hug.

‘Julia we are planning a ‘Girls Night Out’, on Tuesday evening if you can make it. Your sister will be having a small celebration, and it will give you the opportunity of meeting some of her friends and workmates,’ said Samantha.

‘I’ll be starting my new job on Tuesday, but I don’t imagine they will expect me to work late on my first day. But what is the celebration for Denise?’

‘I am having my testicles removed, as it transpires they are serving no useful purpose. I will also be starting to take my female hormones,’ she replied.

‘So it really will be the point of no return for you,’ said Julia.

‘No, not really, that was some time ago. This is just one more inevitable stage on a journey that I have to take, to make my body correspond with how I feel.’

‘In that case, I will be happy to come along and wish you well, but I doubt whether the Greetings Card manufacturers have got round to covering either of those celebrations as yet.’

By the time John arrived back it was after 5.30pm and much of the unpacking had been done. So the four agreed to go out and explore the surrounding area to find somewhere suitable to eat.

---

Denise spent most of the following day helping her sister to get settled in to her new flat and also exploring the nearby Sunday market, down the Walworth Road. They came back laden with West Indian food for her store cupboard, as Julia was an adventurous cook. Afterwards, Denise returned to her flat to catch up with her share of the housework, as she had tended to let things slide a little recently and did not wish to be seen to take advantage of Samantha’s good nature.

---

The Monday was a Bank Holiday and John had offered to drive Julia around London to help her get her bearings and see some of the sights. Samantha was spending the day with her sister and her husband. Denise spent the day at her work putting in some extra hours on the computer system so that she would be able to take the following morning off, in order to go to the clinic. Afterwards, she made her way to have dinner with Alison and Sue, as promised. Alison was busy cooking their meal. Sue had not yet arrived back, having been to visit her parents for the weekend together with her boyfriend.

‘By the way there will be four of us eating tonight. Sue will be bringing her new guy to be introduced’, said Alison.

‘Have you not met him yet?’ asked Denise.

‘No, she has been rather coy about him but I do get the impression she is quite keen.’

‘In that case, may I give this prescription to you now before they arrive?” said Denise handing it over to her.

Alison read through it quickly.

‘There should be no problem with this,’ said Alison. ‘I will be able to you have a three months supply of the tablets and gel tomorrow.’

‘When shall I call round to collect them?’

‘I understand from your housemate that your colleagues and friends are having a celebratory drink after work tomorrow evening, and have invited me to come along as well. Do you know who is likely to be there?’ asked Alison.

‘Samantha specified that it should be ‘ladies only’, so it will be those from the office who can make it, my sister, and I hope yourself as well,’ answered Denise. ‘You have met Jane and Samantha already when we went out for my birthday last month, and then of course there will be myself, and Sue, if we can prise her away from her new boyfriend for one night.’

‘Alright I’ll come too, and I will bring your tablets with me, if you want,’ said Alison.

‘Yes please. I’ll then be able to celebrate taking my first ever oestrogen pill as well as having my nuts removed.’

‘If you want, you can have one or two of my birth control pills in the meanwhile, they are virtually the same thing, and I have no further use for them.’

‘No, I had better stick with what the Doctor has prescribed,’ said Denise. ‘But why are you no longer taking the pill?’

‘I have been taking it for quite a few years now and feel my body needs a break. I think it is now the turn of my boyfriend to worry about contraception.’

---

Sue arrived at that point, followed by a tall fair-haired man in his early thirties, who looked a little awkward.

‘Hello everybody, I should like to introduce you to my fiancé,” she said cheerily as she entered...” Rich, this is Alison my flatmate and Denise my colleague from work.”

They were both blushing but also looked very pleased with themselves.

Alison looked genuinely surprised, but also pleased.

‘Well congratulations to both of you! That is brilliant news!’ she said hugging her flatmate and then proceeding to kiss the newcomer on the cheek.

Denise followed suit, only a little more diffidently. She still lacked some of Alison’s self-confidence, particularly when it came to dealing with young men.

Rich blushed even more than before and muttered his thanks for the congratulations. Sue looked truly happy.

‘You really are a dark horse Sue. When did all this happen? Why didn’t you tell us before?’ asked Denise.

‘Rich only proposed to me on Friday night. I accepted, and we went out and bought the ring the next morning, before either of us could change our minds,’ she said, showing off a diamond the engagement ring on her finger.

‘Alison and Denise both cooed over it and told her how lovely it looked.

Rich suggested that he might go out and get a bottle of champagne to celebrate, and the others agreed that it would be a good idea. Whilst he was gone Denise and Alison continued to question Sue about her plans.

‘So when is the big day?’ asked Denise.

‘No specific plans as yet, but when the time comes I hope you will both be my bridesmaid, and also Samantha as well.’

‘I would love to be your bridesmaid Sue and am sure that Samantha would as well. After all we have done it before,’ said Denise laughing.

‘I may have to be a matron of honour rather than a bridesmaid, as I think I may be pregnant,’ announced Alison.

‘Have you missed a period?’ asked Sue sounding surprised.

‘Two, and have also had a positive pregnancy test. I was going to tell you all about it tonight, but you have upstaged me with your news.’

‘So how did that happen?’ asked Sue

Alison shrugged her shoulders.

‘I decided to stop taking ‘the pill and I am sure you can imagine the rest without me going in to details. I have been thinking about settling down and taking the plunge myself recently.

‘So has Geoff asked you to marry him then?’ asked Sue.

‘Yes, but I at the time I avoided giving him a straight answer. However, I suspect the time has now come for me to settle down as well.’

‘So it would appear that double congratulations are in order,’ said Denise.

‘I suppose so, but it also means that I had better not drink any of that champagne when it comes.’

“Sue, am I allowed to tell Samantha your news when I go home tonight or will you be making a formal announcement at work tomorrow?’

‘Would you mind if I told everyone my news during your celebration?’ she asked.

‘No, of course not, it will be a great opportunity for everyone to celebrate the good news,’ replied Denise. ‘However, you had better bring Rich into work pretty soon afterwards for everyone to meet him.’

---

The ‘Girls Night Out’ was held in the same club in Covent Garden where Denise and Samantha had first met during the previous May, but this time there was no floor show. The group merely occupied a table in one corner of an otherwise crowded club. All five of their colleagues were able to attend, plus Alison and Julia. It turned out to be a much more wide-ranging celebration than was first envisaged, and there were many opportunities to toast different members present. Denise bought the first round of drinks, and related the details of her procedure earlier that day, which in the event turned out to be quite painless and rather uneventful. She also explained to her friends the timetable for the rest of her transition. Denise then took her first oestrogen tablet whilst her friends offered their good wishes for her future.

Then Sue announced her good news, and showed off her engagement ring for everyone to see, and provided a glass sparkling wine all round, except of course for Alison and Jane who were both lamenting the fact that they could only drink orange juice. All her workmates were delighted with the new, although there was also a little sadness when she announced that she hoped to go into business as a freelance photographer with her boyfriend.

Alison was also congratulated about her good news, which she had conveyed to her boyfriend earlier that day. Somewhat to her relief, he had been delighted with the prospect of being a father, and had proposed marriage for a second time. She did not feel she could accept him and then go out with her girl friends that night, so she had promised to let him know her answer the following day, but had intimated that she would be accepting him. In the meanwhile she spent much of the evening comparing notes and symptoms with Jane, whose baby was now beginning to show, and could be felt moving in the womb.

Good wishes were also offered to Julia for her new job and new flat, and also to Samantha, who would be shortly returning to University, to begin a new life. Finally, Helen announced the highly encouraging results from the first complete month that her company since they had launched the new website and operated the new ordering system, and bought yet another round of drinks.

‘Tomorrow will be the 1 September,’ commented Samantha to Denise. ‘This has been quite an eventful summer, one way or another.’

‘Yes, you are right. An awful lot has happened to both of us since we were last here’ said Denise, ‘it has been a real summer of changes.’

‘And it all started just because my sister did not want to leave you out of her hen-night.’

‘Thank you, I am very glad she didn’t, and I am very glad that you both bullied me into becoming her bridesmaid,’ she replied.

Two final snapshots of Denise and Samantha

A Summer of Changes
by Louise Anne Smithson

Book 5 Chapter 8

Epilogue — Denise and Samantha

On a Saturday morning in June 2006, at Denise’s mother’s house in Norwich, Samantha helped her friend to attach the small silver locket round her neck, and then checked that her hair and makeup looked alright.

‘Those are quite an attractive pair you now have,' she said looking at the plunging neckline of her friend’s bridesmaid’s dress, towards her brand new, genuine, breasts.

‘Well since I was paying for a boob job, I felt that I might as well have a decent sized pair,’ answered Denise. ‘Dan wanted me to go one size larger, and even offered to pay for the operation, but it is my body and I did not want to look top-heavy just to satisfy his male fantasies.”

‘They look great, and really suit you. Did the operation cause you any pain?’

‘No. not really, my new breasts were a little uncomfortable for a few days afterwards, but they soon settled down, and the scars are entirely hidden underneath. They are infinitely better than those awful silicone boobs I used to wear. I timed the operation so that I would be recovered in good time for Julia’s wedding, and insisted that she chose us bridesmaid’s dresses that would enable us show off our assets.’

‘I feel a sham dressing up and acting girly as a bridesmaid in front of my family and friends, when everybody knows that I am a dyke and have a female lover waiting for me in the audience,’ said Samantha.

‘You are no more of a sham than I am, as a pre-op transsexual, and your lover will be sitting next to my boyfriend,’ replied Denise. ‘But why shouldn’t we dress up to help members of our families celebrate their marriage, if we are invited to do so?’

‘I suppose I feel out of place because I will never get married myself, but at least our friends and families seem to want us as a team, to help them celebrate; this is now the third time that we have been bridesmaids together,‘ said Samantha.

‘Yes, and it is my fourth time in all; remember I was a bridesmaid to my friend Angela when she came back from Singapore to get married.’

‘Poor Denise, “Always a bridesmaid and never a bride,”’ said Samantha. ‘But there will be nothing to stop you and Dan getting married next April, once you received your Gender Recognition Certificate.’

‘Yes there will; my refusal in the unlikely event that he should ever ask me. I love Dan and he has taught me a lot about being a woman, but I will never marry him. Ultimately he needs to have a family, and that I can never give him. I intend to stay with him until after my operation, so we can both enjoy the benefits of my new vagina for a few weeks, but then I will gently let him go, and eventually die an old maid.’

‘At times you are so calculating Denise.’

‘Perhaps, but, if I am, it is not just for my own sake. After all, my letting your cousin go was the best thing that I could possibly have done for him and my sister, as we will see later this afternoon. But what about you and Jo? Although you may not be able to get married, you would be able to have a Civil Partnership.’

‘I don’t think that is very likely either. Jo is great fun to be with, and the sex has been wonderful, but you can’t have two dominant characters in a successful lesbian relationship. She was attracted to me because of my girly looks, but there will soon come a time when she will realise that she is really looking for is a little lady to stay at home and look after her, and I am afraid that isn’t my scene.’

‘I am sorry to hear that, I thought you were getting on fine,’ commented Denise.

Sam shrugged.

‘In any event, Jo wants to do a Masters’ Degree at Liverpool University in September, and there is no way that I am leaving London, particularly as Jane is about to have another baby. It will just be one of those college romances that was good whilst it lasted but came to a natural end when we both graduated.’

Sam seemed sad at the prospect and so Denise hugged her, frightened that her friend might start to cry and spoil her eye makeup.

‘Sam, you are such a lovely person that I am sure you will find someone to share your life.’

Samantha pulled away, anxious to change the subject. She hated it when Denise was so affectionate towards her.

‘By the way, when will you have your operation?’ she asked.

‘It will be in just over a month’s time, soon after my twenty-first birthday.’

‘Any second thoughts?’ she asked.

‘Good heavens no! Becoming Denise has been the most important thing I have ever done, for my sanity and well-being. I would have had the operation last year but Doctor Spencer wanted to assess the results of the hormone therapy first, and in any event, I was not able to afford it, at the time.’

‘Well in that case I hope it goes well and that you achieve what you are looking for in life.’

‘Thanks, and I will always be glad to have you as my special friend.

Denise now checked her friend’s outfit and makeup.

‘You do look lovely, Sam, if I were a man I would really fancy you,’ said Denise.

‘If I were a man, I would fancy you too,’ she replied.

The two bridesmaids hugged one another again and then went to the room next door to help the bride to get herself ready.

---

Three years later Helen Armstrong helped her young business partner into her wedding dress and to put on the veil. Helen was conscious that she owed the young woman standing before her a considerable debt. It had been largely through her talents and enterprise that the small business she had run for so many years had grown to be one of the major British fashion wholesalers in just five years. Inviting her to a become a partner had been the most astute thing she had ever done, and had secured her own future financial prosperity. Now that her partner had decided to settle down and wed, Helen had called in a few favours to ensure that she was able to borrow the most beautiful designer wedding dress imaginable. It was a slim line, strapless gown in ivory gossamer silk chiffon, gathered under her bust and with a long, loose skirt. There was a sweetheart neckline, which showed off her white breasts to good advantage, together with a beaded motif which accented her already slim waist.

‘My goodness Denise you look absolutely stunning as a bride,’ said Sue, as Helen finally finished her work, and the three of them stood before the full-length mirror.

Denise smiled.

‘Thank you. You looked pretty good yourself on your wedding day, as I remember,’ she answered, but pleased with the compliment nevertheless.

‘That maybe so, but your dress is so gorgeous, and it suits you so well.’

‘I have Helen to thank for that. I have learned an awful lot about fashions over the last few years but I have never developed the eye she has for what clothes will look good on someone and flatter her figure.’

‘That will come in time Denise, but I have to say I agree with Sue, you do look truly radiant.’

Denise blushed with pleasure knowing that it was not just an empty compliment but the opinion of an expert.

‘That was the one thing I insisted upon when Sam asked me whether I would be willing to enter into a Civil Partnership with her. I told her that I would do so on condition that I got to wear a wedding dress at the ceremony,’ she said laughing. ‘I tried to persuade her to wear a wedding dress as well, but she said she did not want to compete with me.

Denise had decided not to have any bridesmaids as it was not going to be a large church ceremony, just the registration of a Civil Partnership in the local Registry Office. Instead she had invited Sue to act as her matron of honour. The choice was perhaps inevitable as her own sister was eight and a half months pregnant and not in a position to undertake any role other than spectator, and Alison and her family now lived overseas. Her friend Jane would be looking after her sister and ensuring that she made it to the registry office on time. Sue no longer worked for Helen and Denise’s business, she and her husband now ran a successful business of their own, but she was one of the freelance photographers most frequently used by them.

‘So what is Samantha going to wear for the ceremony?’ asked Sue.

‘I am not sure. I just hope she hasn’t chosen something too mannish, it won’t suit her,’ said Denise anxiously.

‘I don’t think you need to worry,’ said Sue. ‘Jane won’t allow her sister to commit any really serious fashion crime.’

‘We agreed that we would both make our own arrangements and not meet again after we completed the legal formalities yesterday, until the ceremony itself, but I am now worried that I might tower over her with these shoes,’ she said pointing to the ivory coloured high heels she was wearing.

‘Now don’t worry, you will both be fine, I am sure,’ said Sue trying to calm the nerves of her friend.

She looked for another subject to take Denise’s mind off the forthcoming ceremony,

‘So who will be wearing the trousers in your household?’ she asked.

‘What Sam chooses to wear will be up to her, I tend to prefer wearing dresses myself, but I assure you it will be a partnership of equals. We are both now earning good salaries, and we will do equal shares of the housework.’

‘Where are you planning to live?’ asked Helen

‘We will stay where we are for the time being, but Sam’s father is giving us the deposit for a house as a wedding present. We are looking at a place that is currently being built in Croydon.’

‘He did the same for Jane and Peter, when they got married. You are both very lucky’ said Sue.

‘But what do your mother, and your sister, think of you settling down to live with Sam,’ asked Helen.

‘They are probably relieved that I am now settling down. I did rather play the field and went through quite lot of men after I had my operation, before I came to my senses and realised that it was Sam who I really felt most comfortable with. She has always been there for me, even when I was being bitchy when I started taking the hormones, or promiscuous after my operation. I suspect my mother probably now wonders why I spent so much money on having a vagina, when I have ended up sleeping with a woman, but having sex with a woman who truly loves you is far more satisfying than with a man who is just wanting short-term gratification. I have no regrets about any thing, I never felt that I was entirely a woman until I had the surgery.’

‘What is a vagina, Aunty Denise?’ said a little voice from the doorway.

A little girl aged about four and a half years and wearing a long ivory dress had come in to the room without anyone noticing. She was admiring herself in one of the full length mirrors in the dressing room.

‘Nothing for you to worry about young lady,’ said Denise picking up her God-daughter and giving her a hug. ‘You look very pretty today, Alice, just like a princess.’

The little girl beamed at the compliment.

‘Mummy says that the guests are all seated and that Aunty Sam is now ready.’

‘In that case we had better go and join her, hadn’t we. Now are you going to hold these flowers for me Alice?’

---

Denise and Samantha had decided that in their ceremony they would meet in the foyer and then walk down the aisle together. As Denise entered from a side door she was suddenly engulfed with a vision of loveliness. Samantha was wearing her own designer dress, matching heels and with immaculate hair and makeup. The two dresses were of different designs but exactly complemented one another. There was a gasp of admiration from both the spectators and from the two brides as they caught sight of one another for the first time.

‘Sam you look absolutely beautiful,’ said Denise, squealing with delight. ‘I am so glad you decided to wear a dress.’

‘I think I would say the same about you,’ answered Samantha, blushing with pleasure.

‘The main thing is that they look wonderful as a pair,’ commented Jane

‘Helen, this looks like your doing,’ said Denise.

‘Perhaps, but with a little bit of help from Jane and Sue, she replied. ‘We could not let the opportunity of photographing our two best models together go to waste, now could we?’

The two brides walked down the aisle, arm in arm, to make their vows and exchange rings. They were followed by the two friends who had first brought them together, and a little girl with a basket to hold their flowers. However, there was no-one in the congregation more proud than Samantha’s father and Denise’s mother, as they stood next to one another in the front row.