I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to explain to my keepers... I don’t belong in here.

It was just a joke for April Fools. Yeah, some joke. I swear Tom got off a lot more lightly than I did.

Tom was my best buddy, now she’s mud or will be if I ever get my hands on him.

It started out innocently enough. Tom and I were fooling around shooting some hoops and generally goofin’ off. After a while we somehow got around to talking about April First and April Fools Day. It was going to be Saturday a week from now and it was almost a tradition on his part to play an April Fools joke on his Mom. He and his Dad used to do it when his Dad was still around and Tom continued the tradition in good fun. His Mom usually took it all in stride so Tom wanted to do something this year that would really wind her up a bit.

We talked through the usual litany of ideas and possibilities before he suddenly had the light bulb go on above his head. No. Not literally. He began to explain his idea and the more weird it sounded, the more we thought it might work.

I guess this is as good a time as any to explain a few things, especially since his idea involved me playing the part of a girl. It wasn’t like we hadn’t done this before.

I’m built kind of thin and a little shorter than Tom by three or four inches. My hair is longer although it doesn’t especially look like girl’s hair unless I put it up in a pony tail. He and I have gone to maybe a dozen movies with me dressed like a girl so he doesn’t get the rep of being some loser who can’t get a date. He really can’t but that’s because he’s too shy to try. He’s really kind of a nice guy and he never did anything when we went out which would either give me away or make other girls think he was some kind of pushy creep. We managed to go out on several double dates and I think Janet likes him but doesn’t go after him because she think he has a girlfriend (me). Kind of sad actually.

Anyway... His bright idea which got me incarcerated and him in skirts...

He figured that since his Mom has seen me both as Jerry and as Mary Lou(isa), I could come over on April Fools and we would sort of let his Mom catch us talking while sitting on the couch in the living room. When she came unglued we could shout “April Fools.” Simple huh?

Oh... why would she come unglued? Well... we sorta’ would be talking about me being pregnant and that it was his baby and what would we do about it. That’s all. Honest.

So why am I in here? Well things didn’t quite go the way we planned and then too, once I was here I sorta’ broke out a few times before they caught on and changed the locks. Just one of the little skills you pick up when your Dad is a locksmith. I can pick locks. Give me a paperclip or a couple of bits of strong metal and any tumbler lock is mine. That’s why I’m so pissed right now. They put a combination lock on my cell. Of course I guess it didn’t help that I unlocked the cells for the rest of these monkeys as well as my own. I’d call them all idiots but a couple of them are a bit smarter so I’ll call a spade, a spade. One of them even tries to find me bits of metal which might work.

Back to the joke. We planned and I worked up the outfit I would wear and we came up with a script. The two days prior we practiced it and had it down pretty much pat so we decided to try a dress rehearsal which went off like clockwork. We were ready.

Saturday we got everything in order and met up at my house where I prepared myself dressing in the pink dress and flats before we would go back to his for the afternoon. I even conned Sis into doing just a little makeup on me. Cost me five which pissed me off so I wasn’t in the best of moods but as Tom and I talked about the joke while Sis listened, she started to get this seriously demented look on her face.

“Jerry, this is either going to be the best April Fools joke ever tried or it’s going to bomb so bad you won’t be able to sit down for a month.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Sis.”

“You two are seriously nuts. Let me know how it all works out.”

Tom and I leave the house headed for joke history.

At his house we wait around for a bit until we hear his Mom coming back inside and then begin our spiel.

“...should call the baby Second, that would make it’s name Second Nature.” Oh yeah, Tom’s last name is Nature. Sort of gets him into a lot of trouble since most of the kids rib him pretty badly about it. Another reason he is shy and has trouble getting dates.

“Or maybe Contrary, which would fit well. Contrary Nature. You know, Tom; we’ve got to do something about all this quickly. Pregnancy isn’t something that goes away overnight.”

“Yeah, yeah. Mary relax. I’m sure Mom can come up with something that will help. Maybe you could get an abortion, we’re both kinda young to get married.”

We didn’t even get to go into our last paragraph because Tom’s Mom came into the room like a thunderbolt.

“THOMAS NATURE, you sit down in that chair over there and be quiet. As for you, young lady, you are going away where you may have your baby without being a problem for Tom’s future.”

She begins mumbling something I didn’t catch and I get this really weird feeling. Everything seems to be getting bigger. It’s only a few seconds before I discover everything isn’t getting bigger, I’m getting smaller. That freaks me out so I start screaming. Tom starts talking and my screams begin to become quieter as I hear him explaining the April Fools joke to his Mom. I’m still trying to figure out what the H***s going on and the reason everything seems so strange. By now Tom has finished explaining and his Mom looks at him and then at me and starts laughing. I look at her like she’s gone nuts and then Tom looks at me and starts laughing too.

“I can’t change her back because then she could let everyone know. It would be easier to make people forget about her. As for you, young lady, you will have a penance for the next two years. You are going into skirts.”

“Aw, Mom.”

“No argument or it will be for five years.”

That conversation has me a little frightened and I’m afraid to look at myself so I cover my eyes with my hands but finally curiosity gets the better of me and I look down...

That’s all I remember. Next thing I know I wake up in this monkey house with all the goofballs and nuts. After four escape attempts and the change of my lock to a combination I don’t stand a prayer of getting myself out of here without outside help.

A month or so later I see this lady and what appears to be her daughter coming over toward the cell. They are pointing and the older woman points at me then the younger one takes a good look and her mouth drops open but she covers it quickly with her hand. I reach out toward then plaintively hoping they will do something to get me out of here.

“She’s pregnant, Mom.”

“It would seem your little joke backfired badly, wouldn’t it?”

“But she was my best friend, Mom.”

“Perhaps the next time you will think twice before playing April Fools jokes. Have you learned your lesson?”

“Yes Mom.”

“Good. Now if you’re a good girl these next two years I’ll give you the opportunity to change back.”

“What about her? Can she change back too?”

“I don’t think so. Humans don’t take to understanding this sort of thing very well.”

I watch as they turn and walk away. I’ve learned my lesson too but have no way of telling them. Dejected, I turn and leap across to another tree limb. A prehensile tail isn’t all bad once you get used to it, but the fur itches a bit.

It just goes to prove... It’s not nice, to fool Mother Nature.

 © 2010 by Rénae Dáºmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the work’s Owner (copyright holder), with the exception of the private and non-commercial viewing by the reader who is also the end purchaser. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental. Any and all images which may be shown within this work are taken through license under Corel. Any sketches provided for the work are by Terry Volkirch. No affiliations, involvement or gender assignations through the use of these or any images or sketches of subjects contained within this work are to be implied, intended or inferred. An Aldoennetti Original.

 © 2010 by Rénae Dáºmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the work’s Owner (copyright holder), with the exception of the private and non-commercial viewing by the reader who is also the end purchaser. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental. Any and all images which may be shown within this work are taken through license under Corel. Any sketches provided for the work are by Terry Volkirch. No affiliations, involvement or gender assignations through the use of these or any images or sketches of subjects contained within this work are to be implied, intended or inferred
An Aldoennetti Original.

CHAPTERS TWO THROUGH FIVE OF MY FAIR LADY HAVE BEEN DELETED FROM THIS SITE DUE BOTH TO UNAUTHORIZED TAMPERING AND TO CONTENT WHICH WAS OBVIOUSLY DISTRESSING TO MANY.

September 05, 2010 by Rénae Alexiis Dáºmas

It started innocently enough but somehow managed to turn into a nightmare. I don’t know how it happened to involve me... Well, not exactly anyway. But things just seemed to escalate...

The moon finally begins to drift out from behind the clouds which continue to move East after having drenched the countryside with a flow like Niagra Falls accompanied by bolts of lightening which made the Fourth of July look like party favors and rolling thunder which put to shame the jets of the military air base only a half mile distant.

A furtive shadow, only occasionally visible, is making it’s way across the expanse found between the trees and the house, dodging into each available patch of darkness created by the bushes which have been cut into the shapes of animals by landscape maintenance. The shadow while leaving behind a slight trail of dripping water finally reaches it’s destination next to the back door of the home having only twice been caught by infrequent beams of moonlight during it’s brief movement from one dark patch to yet another. When struck by the momentary light the shadow manages to take on a slight resemblance to something nearly human.

Quietly that pathetic shadow reaches out and inserts a key into the lock of the door while attempting to prevent the outer screen door from creaking as it is known to do now and then. The unlocked door now opening, the shadow slides through carefully after looking around to see that no one is observing then closes both doors behind it, first latching the screen then locking the inner door once more. Removing it’s shoes in order to remain more silent and grabbing a towel from beneath the sink, the shadow now carefully moves across the small room assisted in part by the increasing moonlight found slipping through the window above the sink but still only partially penetrating into the now occupied room.

Voices may be heard at a distance beyond the door behind which the shadow now halts. It listens for perhaps a minute before slowly easing the door slightly open and peering through, examining the room beyond for any sign of occupancy before easing back away from the door once more. Inspecting the floor, it takes a second towel and drys the water droplets which have fallen from it to the floor then begins to wring the clothing it is wearing within the towels in an effort to prevent further evidence of passage from dropping from them to the floor or staircase which it intends to traverse.

Once more the door is eased open and the shadow moves rapidly through the room beyond and into the next then past the library doors, which are partially muting the sounds of those voices, before it continues quietly on up the staircase. The voices continue to be heard forcing their way out through the library doors unaware that someone has passed by within spitting distance. At the top of the stairs that shadow once again pauses, listening carefully. Now rapid movement to yet another door and through, locking the door behind it before relaxing. Safe once again.

The following morning, Tony is up and putting his school books into his pack before going down to breakfast. He may hear his sister, Fran, doing much the same in her room next to his and he waits for a minute or two for her to finish and start down so he may join her.

“Hi Sis, how’d it go last night?”

Rolling her eyes at his obvious attempt to bait her, “Just fine Tony. We had hours and hours of pure unadulterated sex... You wish.”

“Nah. I really mean it. How’d it go?”

“We finished Calculus, made significant inroads into History and English Lit. and I plan on spending this evening on a Biology project.”

“Yeah... Biology.”

“Tree frogs, Tony... Tree frogs,” again rolling her eyes and bopping him on the arm.

“Yeah... right... tree frogs.”

How he can make finishing homework assignments sound like he is implying any number of malicious, devious and otherwise sexually abhorrent innuendo in so few words is beyond her understanding.

“You know, Tony, you need to live as a girl for a week or two. It might teach you to be a little nicer to me and to girls in general.”

“Yeah. Right. That’ll be the day. You’ve been saying that for two years. A week as a girl? Sureee... Biology assignment? Righhttt.”

Francine gives a disgusted squeal and chases him into the dining room.

“Stop running you two. Now what have you done, Tony.”

“What? Me? Nothing. We were talking and then Sis bopped me and started chasing me.”

“If she bopped you, you probably deserved it.”

“He makes my going over to do homework with Jeremy or Beth sound like a Sexual Encounter of the Worst Kind, Mom. He asked and I told him that we had done most of our homework and tonight are going to work on our biology report on tree frogs and he makes it out to be a sexual encounter.” She mimics, “Biology assignment? Righhttt.”

“Tony, why do you do this to your Sister all the time? You’re supposed to be supportive, you’re her brother after all.”

“Maybe she got switched at birth, Mom. You know, we brought home the wrong sister?”

“More likely the wrong brother, brother dear.”

“You two cut it out. I’ll have no more of that today. Sometimes I think I brought home the wrong set of twins. Now settle down and eat your breakfast, we need to leave a little early since I have a meeting to get to right after dropping both of you at school... I pity your teachers.”

“Gee Mom, you say that every day.”

“I pity them every day. If I were to put the two of you together in a room with a battalion of military personnel then I would pity the military. The two of you when you work together are a devastating team.”

“You hear that Sis, we’re devastating.”

“Speak for yourself. Oh, Mom, I have a Calculus mid term next week. Could Jeremy come over to study on Saturday?”

“Does Tony have the mid term too?”

“Yep, I do.”

“Are you going to study with Jack?”

“We were planning on it.”

“Then why don’t all four of you get together here and study together.”

“Aww MOMMM.”

“Mommm... All they do is interrupt. They don’t want to study. I need the grade.”

“All right! Enough! Yes, Fran, Jeremy may come over, but you study downstairs. Tony, were you going to Jack’s?”

“We’re going to Bill’s. Bob might come over too.”

Fran looks at their mother mouthing quietly, “enough said?”

Mrs. Thompson gives a stern look at her daughter before addressing Tony, “All right, but you will be home before six.”

“Aww, Mom. We aren’t getting together until four.”

“What are you doing the rest of the day?”

“Jack and I were going to hang out because Bill and Bob will be out of town until four.”

“Why don’t you and Jack study then? The two of you may join Bob at four and still have spent plenty of time studying.”

“Aww. Mom.”

“You heard me. You will be home by six. And don’t forget you have laundry this weekend.”

“Yes, Mom. Can I go study with Jack this evening? We have to finish a paper for English Lit and he has a great set of reference books.”

“I suppose,” as Tony begins to whoop, “What are you going to do for supper this evening?”

“Could I have five dollars to give toward pizza?”

“You be careful, young man. You’re going to turn into a pizza. Yes, take five dollars from my purse.”

Tony shovels down his breakfast and goes to check his mother’s purse as Fran and her mother continue talking.

“MOMM... You don’t have a five,” Tony’s voice penetrates back from the hall then louder as he comes into the dining room again, carrying her purse.

Mrs. Thompson looks through her pocketbook and pulls a five dollar bill from her reserve stash then slips a ten into the compartment, “There Tony. I expect you to be home by nine tonight.”

“No problem, Mom. We’ll be going to work on the paper right after school so we’ll probably finish it well before nine. With any luck I’ll be home by seven or eight. If I get home by seven I can do laundry tonight.”

Fran rolls her eyes, quietly intoning, “Oh happy day.”

“What of you, young lady? Are you coming directly home after school?”

“Beth and I are planning to spend a couple of hours studying for our History mid-term. I should be home by six though. Are we eating here or do you want me to pick up something on the way?”

“I should be home by six. We may eat together. You two go finish getting ready while I put these dishes in the washer. Meet me down here in ten minutes and we will be on our way.”

After taking her children to school, Mrs. Thompson departs quickly for work so she may prepare for the morning’s meetings.

At school the twins are more supportive of each other and happily share a hug before heading off to their respective classes.

“Hi Tony, everything on for tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Mom said I have to be home by six though.”

“Why, did she ground you for getting home late last night?”

“Nah. She didn’t even know I was out. She and Fran were talking when I got home so I just beat a hasty retreat to my room and locked the door then changed out of my wet things. I need to clean everything before I do that again.”

“No chance of pushing the curfew a little?”

“Afraid not. It’s my turn to do the laundry and we have dinner at six.”

“Why not wait until tomorrow morning to work on the paper then you could go home and do the laundry today. If it’s finished today then maybe your Mom would let you stay out later tomorrow. Six really doesn’t cut it. Hell the Movie doesn’t start until five.”

“I know. I didn’t tell her about the movie. She thinks we are going to be studying tomorrow at Bob’s.”

“Oh, yeah right... We’ll be studying all right except during most of the day. You sure about those tickets?”

“Yep. Mr. Zimmer said everyone gets four.”

“Coooolll.”

“Look, Jack. I can’t afford to mess up my grades. I do need to study because I have two mid-terms next week.”

“Tone, I’ve never seen you mess up a mid term yet.”

“Messing it up isn’t what’s bothering me. I need to stay on an even keel with my sister and she’s a studyholic.”

“So use that fabulous mind of yours. I know you’ve read every page of the school books and can parrot back anything in them. These last few weeks have been a lot of fun. It’s more interesting than at School which, by the way, is over in three months and then we might not see much of each other. My parents are talking about shipping me off to college.”

“Mr. Thompson and Mr. Corbin, we ARE conducting a class here and would appreciate it if you would join us. If that doesn’t cut into your recreational time too badly. Please take your seats.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Sorry Sir.”

At her first class of the day Fran is having similar success at her conversation. She and Beth are making plans for studying immediately after school and possibly meeting with Jeremy and John Saturday morning before the four of them spend the afternoon studying together at her home.

“I will need to let Mom know that you and John are also going to be there. Tony is going to be out with Jack and Bob.”

“I don’t know what he sees in those two. They’re nothing but trouble, at least for girls.”

“That must be why Tony has been such a little prick these past four or five months. I would happily trade him for a mule.”

“Miss Thompson, Miss Fletcher, would you two please join us as the bell rang two minutes ago.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Early that Friday evening Fran arrives home from studying with Beth only to discover Tony in the midst of folding his freshly laundered clothing.

“Hi Sis. If you get your things ready I’ll put them through the wash. My last load is headed for the dryer in just a few minutes.”

Surprised both with his early arrival at home and at his having completed his washing, Fran is understandably shocked, “I thought you were studying with Jack this evening.”

“I talked it over with him and decided to do laundry tonight then the paper tomorrow morning. I need to be able to stay out later than six tomorrow so I’m hoping Mom will say okay since I’ll have laundry finished tonight. It would really help if I could stay out until nine tomorrow.”

“You’ll be careful with my delicates?”

“Aw Sis. I’ve done them properly every time it’s been my turn for the last year, why do you continue to ask?”

“It only takes once.”

“Sis, I promise I won’t do anything bad to your things. Just put them into their special bags and I won’t even touch them. They’ll go in on the delicate cycle and dry on warm fluff. Okay?”

“I suppose.”

“Sis, I may give you a hard time but I really love you and I’m glad you’re my sister.” Tony gives her a hug which leaves her wondering where her brother went and who this might be who has replaced him.

Eyeing him suspiciously she turns and goes up to her room to get her things together for the wash.

Tony is putting Fran’s first load into the washer when their mother arrives home. Surprised to see him home AND doing the laundry, she places her hand on his forehead as she walks past.

“Hmmm. Nope, no fever. Must be insanity.”

“Aww Mom. Jack and I talked it over and we are going to do the paper tomorrow morning. I’m doing the laundry now so we will be able to study longer tomorrow evening. If I finish everything before I go out tomorrow could I stay out until nine?”

Yes. Do you still have that five dollars? You may use it for pizza tomorrow.”

“Great. Yes I still have it. We might take in a movie during the day as a break. I’ve saved the money for that so I don’t need any more.”

“Good. I’m not an endless source of money despite what the two of you think. I work hard to keep the two of you in food and clothing.”

“I know Mom. We think you’re the greatest.”

“Remember that come Christmas time.”

“Sure Mom.”

Tony checks all the settings; warm, delicate, liquid soap and then he puts the Woolite into the dispenser rather than the liquid Tide he used for his own clothes before starting the machine. His duty done for another thirty minutes or so, he wanders up to collect his Mom’s things.

“They are already sorted, honey. I put everything in the hamper earlier. Be certain to use the Woolite for colored products.”

“I will Mom. Sis has two more loads to go through before I do yours, but I should have it all finished tonight. I started early.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Mom.”

Tony checks the hamper and finds three loads. That works out okay so he heads for his room to begin packing his backpack for tomorrow. All the special stuff carefully goes into the bottom and then it is covered by two books and some papers. Time is growing short. He hurries out and back down to the washer which is just finishing. Checking the dryer shows it needs just a little more time before the things may come out to be folded. The washer stops, which is okay, nothing life threatening there. Finally the dryer stops and everything comes out dry and ready for folding.

He transfers the load from the washer, sets the dryer for delicate- warm fluff and turns it on. Now he loads Fran’s second load into the washer along with more Woolite and resets the controls before pausing to begin folding the last of his clothing. Part way through he starts the washer then finishes folding and takes his things up to his room.

“Tony?”

“Yeah Sis?”

“Do you have a clean but grungy shirt I could borrow? I’m doing some of my crafts and might get stuff on it and I don’t have anything I could wear which wouldn’t matter.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a couple. What happened to that apron thing you usually wear?”

“It’s at school. I forgot to bring it home.”

“Come on in. I’ll get them and show you. Just be a second.” Going to his closet he returns a minute later with three older shirts. Two are stained but dressy and one is a sport shirt also sporting additional colors which were not present at the time of manufacture.

“Would you mind if I use this one? I might get something on it which won’t wash out.”

“No problem Sis. Try to get purple on it. I think it has every other color.”

She laughs and gives him a hug, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver.”

“Aw heck, and I always wanted to be a butterfinger.”

Fran looks at him strangely.

“You know, butterfingers?.. Lifesaver?.. Never mind, I guess you had to be there.”

“You’re strange, Tony. Has Mom ever told you that?”

He gives her a thoughtful expression as he appears to ponder her question; “Not in the last twenty minutes or so.”

Fran shakes her head with an expression on her face indicating she really doesn’t want to know whatever it is he has been talking about. She waves the shirt, “Thanks Tony” and goes out the door and back to her own room as he waves his hand at her, “No problem, Sis.”

“Tony. The washer’s buzzing,” their mother calls up from the bottom of the stairs.

“Be right there Mom. Shut it off would you and I’ll be right down to take care of it.”

He hurries since the clothes aren’t his and finds the washer, as he suspected, had gone off balance during the spin cycle. After adjusting the load he starts it up and all is once again well. All of his sister’s things are finished before supper time. ‘Looks like everything will be done by nine or ten. Cool’.

By nine thirty Tony has finished everything and both his sister and their mother are expressing their thanks and wonder at his apparently new appreciation for women in general.

The next morning Tony is ready early, placing a couple of small packages into his pack as an afterthought and slipping a pair of shoes into the outer pouch before securing everything carefully. A cautious inspection around the room reveals he has not missed anything and the pack is ready. Satisfied with himself he goes downstairs for breakfast arriving less than a minute before his sister. Entering the kitchen he greets his mother with his usual brief, “Good Morning Mom.”

“Good Morning, Tony. I want to thank you for doing the laundry without my pushing you. That was a nice surprise as was the folding and hanging. I almost would have thought that my Tony was replaced by an alien.”

Just then his sister enters the kitchen, “Good Morning Mom, Tony. I was thinking the same thing,” his sister adds as she enters the kitchen and goes to the fridge for some juice before helping with the plates and cups at the breakfast nook table.

“Aww Mommm. I’m just beginning to understand how some things can be important to girls when they really don’t seem all that important to a guy. No big deal.”

“All the same we are appreciative.”

“That’s right, baby brother.”

“I’m just as old as you, Francine.”

“Not by twelve minutes, brother dear and I’m never going to let you forget it,” breaking out into laughter and going over to hug her brother, “Besides, if you were born first you would have been lording it over me all these years.”

“Well... Maybe. Are you studying with Beth today?”

“In one ear and out the other. Yes. Beth, Jeremy and John are coming over here to study about one. We hope to finish by six but with two papers to finish as well as the term exam coming up we might go long. Are you still studying at Bill’s this evening?”

“I don’t know. He and Bob might not get back until late. I’ll probably study most of the day with Jack.

“So you won’t be underfoot until late?”

“Fran! What a thing to say after he has just been so good about our laundry.” her mother gasps.

“Oh. I appreciate his doing the laundry, Mom. I just know from experience that once he’s home our chances to continue to study are virtually nil. I wish I had his memory.” Turning to her brother, “How do you do that, anyway? You read the book once and you are able to quote chapter and verse. I have to work at it. I’m jealous.”

“Sis, if I knew how I do it I would have no problem telling you. I know you have to work hard for your grades. That’s like the stuff I read just a few weeks ago. I remember all of it word for word, but understanding it is something else again. You do great at that part of it.”

“But you just think about it over and over and connect it to other stuff you’ve read and ‘bingo’ you know what it’s all about.”

“Not quite that easy, Sis. But yeah,” he perks up a bit, “at least you have the looks in the family... well after Mom that is.”

“Thanks, I think.”

Tobias goes and hugs his sister, “I mean it Sis. You’re smart and you’re pretty and that’s a great combination.”

“You’re right Mom. He’s an alien.” She softly bops his arm, “What did you do with my brother?”

“Hey, Sis. It’s me, really.”

“Okay you two, over to the table.”

After helping with the breakfast dishes, Tony goes up to grab his backpack then takes off for Jack’s shouting back as he goes out the door, “Bye Mom, Bye Sis. See you this evening.”

“Tony if it’s raining, I want you to call and I’ll come pick you up.”

“Bye Tony.”

“Okay Mom.”

Tony is out the door and rushing down this street and the next in order to catch the bus. Jack’s place is a little over a mile away and he could have ridden his bike but then he would be all hot and sweaty when he arrives at Jack’s and there isn’t enough time to get cleaned up again and change before they need to be downtown.

“Geez Tony, you’re late. You need to get upstairs and change. I’ve got that stuff so you don’t need to worry about that any more. It’s in the bottom drawer in my bathroom.”

“Sorry, the bus was running late and I didn’t want to ride my bike so I wouldn’t get all sweaty.”

“Good move. My parents are out this weekend and they said I could use the car here in town so we have a ride from here.”

“Great. I’ll be about a half hour though getting ready. Mom and Sis will have a cow when I tell them what we’ve been doing these past six weeks. I can hardy wait to hand them their tickets.”

“Oh, yeah. A cow hardly describes it. If your sister finds out before you can explain it she’ll probably kill you.”

“Don’t remind me. I’ve got to get ready we’re out of time. If we show up late again they might kick us out.”

“I hope not, it’s been a lot of fun. It’s hard to keep it secret but it’s been fun. I was worried about you going home like you did the other night. Did it ruin your clothes?”

“No. I did laundry last night so I was able to put them through without a problem. I dried them carefully so they wouldn’t shrink. I think everything is okay.”

“Oh yeah. There’s a couple of items there which couldn’t handle being any shorter. What about your hair?”

“Not a problem. I’ve GOT to get upstairs and change.”

“I’ll go check on the car. Dad said it might need a quart of oil.”

“Be sure to wash your hands afterward.”

“My hands?”

“Yeah. I don’t want oil on my clothes or the seat of the car.”

“Gotcha.”

“Well, Mr. Zimmer thinks this morning went pretty well. You do really great at it, in fact this morning was the best I’ve seen so far.”

“I think so too. Obviously so do they, since they said we would only go a few hours after lunch.”

“That’ll give us some extra time before the movie.”

“Since you have the car, could you take me over to the mall an hour early? I’ve got to pick up a couple of things for next week and since this will likely take another six or so sessions before it goes for real I need to check on a couple of other things as well.”

“Sure. Just so we don’t take a lot of time. I don’t want to miss the movie.”

“Jack, I don’t think we’ll miss the movie. It’s in three of the Cineplex’s theaters and starts every sixty minutes. In fact we might be able to get into one of the earlier showings if everything goes well at the session this afternoon. You did pretty well this morning. Didn’t mess up once.”

“So did you, Tony.”

“Hush. What did I tell you about using my name when the others are around?”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry.”

“Let’s get some lunch and get back to the next session.”

“Yeah. Burgers.”

“For you maybe. I’ve got to stick with something light at least until this whole thing is over. I can’t believe I let you and Mr. Zimmer talk me into this. I still think he snuck it in on me unfairly.”

“But you’re doing great. Another week and then two weeks for real and it’s all over. When are you going to tell your Mom and Sister?”

“Oh God. I think the question is how soon do I want to be killed?”

“Mr. Zimmer would help. He won’t mind being there when you tell them.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. I told him about the problem and he said he would be happy to act as your second when your Mom decides to kill you in a duel.”

“Great. I suppose he would provide the swords or guns or whatever?”

“He said it would probably be something more along the lines of being drawn and quartered.”

“Oh that’s a BIG help.”

“Quiet, here’s the hostess. Two please, a small booth if you have one.”

“Is the window Okay? The only other is in the back room.”

“The back is okay.”

“Do you need menus or do you know what you want?”

“I think we are ready to order.”

“I’ll have the waitress here right away. Coffee?”

“Not for me.”

“Me neither.”

“All right. Your waitress will be right with you, enjoy your lunch.”

“Gee Jack, I just figured it out. There are only 6 more sessions before the real thing unless we do two next Saturday.”

“I think you’re doing great.”

“I hope it continues to be as good. This isn’t easy. I’m starting to get nervous.”

“You make it look easy. If I didn’t know...”

“Quiet. How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t want to get killed here, you know.”

“Oh yeah, sorry.”

“May I take your order?”

Geez, how did she sneak up on us?

Jack starts in right away, “Yeah, I’ll have the double burger, fries and a chocolate shake.”

“And you Miss?”

“I’ll have the house salad with oil and vinegar and water to drink, thank you.”

“Any thing else?”

“Not for me, thank you.”

Jack of course adds, “Yeah. I’d like a slice of the double fudge cake after the meal.”

The waitress turns toward me as she rolls her eyes then goes off to place our order.

After lunch we return to purgatory and Mr. Zimmer. He and Ms. Bellamy can be demanding taskmasters. Despite the weeks of insanity we all receive praise from Mr. Zimmer and he lets us all go without any more work today, “Except you Tony. Mrs. Scott needs to see you for about an hour.”

“All right, Mr. Zimmer.”

After an embarrassing hour with Mrs. Scott I’m allowed to leave and pick up Jack before we head out to the Mall.

“Somehow I’ve got to spend an hour working on my paper today. It seems to me that as I get older I have less and less time for myself.”

Jack is unconcerned about this, “Heck Tony, you keep doing more and more and then wonder why you have so little time? Relax and just go with the flow.”

“Yeah. Right, Jack. That’s what got me into this mess in the first place. I should never have listened to you and Mr. Zimmer that afternoon.”

“You can’t tell me you aren’t enjoying it. You always liked a challenge.”

“A challenge, yes. Insanity? NO.”

“Geez, Tony. Just three more weeks and it’ll all be over. Then you can relax.”

“I should live so long. Look as soon as I can do the things at the Mall and we can go back to the house, I can change and then we can go to the movie. We can catch an early showing and then go back and finish the paper and studying.”

“You know, Tony. We could save a lot of time if you just go to the movie like that.”

“Like... Are you CRAZY? LIKE THIS?”

“You’re going to the Mall like that. The theater’s in the Mall. It would save three trips in the car and you’ll be in a dark theater. Who’s to see? We could leave right after the show, go home and do the studies then you could change and head on home. I could even give you a lift home. It’ll save a lot of time... And gas.”

“Yeah. And I can stay out ‘til nine so we would actually have more time to study that way. I wouldn’t need to rush the shopping either. Okay, sounds good. Let’s go. We can pick up a pizza for supper. Mom gave me five dollars toward it and I have another five so there’s half the cost.”

“Cool. We can pick it up after the movie and take it home.”

The two pals arrive at the Mall and Jack follows Tony around at least until Tony wanders into the lingerie section of the department store. Then like all guys he becomes embarrassed and hangs back.

“What are you doing? Come on, I’ll only be a minute.”

“But Tony. Look where you’re going.”

“Yeah? Mrs. Scott told me I need to get some things. This’ll only be a minute. Come on.”

“Awww, man.”

“Jack, I’m going to the movie like this. If I can do that, you can do this.”

“Awww cripes. Geez, Tony don’t ever say I...”

“All right. You go over and sit there by the doors. I’ll only be a minute or two.” Tony stands on ‘her’ toes and kisses Jack on the cheek before quickly turning away and flouncing off to take care of a few things.

“Tony!.. Awww Geez. God, I hope no one saw you do that.” Jack turns red and walks over to sit and sulk near the doors as he waits for his ‘girlfriend’. “God I can’t believe he did that.” He continues to look around but doesn’t see any of their gang anywhere. Maybe this wasn’t such a hot idea after all. And winding up like this really wasn’t Tony’s fault. It was all Mr. Zimmer’s mistake.

Fifteen minutes later Tony returns to a still embarrassed Jack and they depart the store, walking through the Mall toward the movie theater. There they discover they have ten minutes before the next showing.

“Excellent timing. Here’s some money for my ticket and popcorn. After we are inside I need to use the restroom before we go in to the movie.”

“Uh, Tony?”

“Yes?”

“Uh, like that?”

“Like wha... oh! Oh shit. I’ve GOT to. I can’t believe I’m going to do this.”

“I’ll wait for you in the hall.”

“Okay. I’ll try to be quick.”

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣
“I thought you said you’d be quick. The movie’s starting.”

“Some girls came in. I had to stay in the booth until they left. God, they scared me half to death. After they finished, one of them knocked on my door and wanted to know if I was okay. Then they stood around talking for what seemed like forever. Finally they left and I rushed out before someone else came in. This is a lot more embarrassing than just doing it at rehearsals.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s be quiet and take our seats. There’s a couple up there.”

“God. Mom’ll kill me if she ever finds out I used a girl’s bathroom.”

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

“The movie was pretty good. Did you like it, Tony?”

“It was okay. All the action got boring after a while. I could have used a bit of romance in it.”

“Romance? Yeech. I like shoot-em-ups. Next thing you’ll be telling me you want to see a chick flick.”

“Well no, I’m not that bad, Jack. I just like to have a little sentiment mixed in with the action.”

“He cried after he killed the three spies. That’s sentiment.”

“He cried because of the tear gas they sprayed in his face just before he killed them. That isn’t sentiment.”

“He was crying. Crying is a sentiment.”

“Jack, it’s no wonder you never get girls to go out with you more than once.”

“You’ve gone out with me more than once.”

“Right. Not on a date. And I think you’ve just made my point for me.”

“What point?”

“Jack, how do you ever get a girl to go out on a first date with you?”

“It’s my sparkling personality.”

“Or insanity perhaps, on the part of the girl. Let’s go get the pizza and go study.”

“No sweat, Tony.”

“I give up.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? You know you’re confusing me just like other girls do.”

“Other girls, huh? Jack, are you certain you have all your marbles?”

Suddenly we are rudely interrupted, “HI Babes. I see you’ve switched boyfriends. ‘Bout time you dumped the dweeb you’ve been seeing. Your selection hasn’t improved much.”

Great that’s all I need, the class moron.

“Bug off Greg.

“Now is that any way to talk?”

“Actually, NO. I could say something much more intense but then I wouldn’t be a lady and Mom would wash my mouth out with soap. Take a hint, bozo and leave us alone. Come on Jack.” We turn to enter the pizza parlour and Greg puts his arm to the door, partially blocking the other one with his body.

“Look Fran, sooner or later...”

“Later. TA TA.” We duck under his arm and go into the parlour to order our pizza.

Outside an angry Greg thunders off into the Mall.

Fifteen minutes later we have our pizza and make tracks for the car where once again we are confronted by Greg. One thing comes to another and he grabs me by the wrist.

“You’re hurting me, Greg. Let go.”

“Not likely until you go out on a date with me.”

“Not if you were the last idiot on Earth.” I retort, hoping I’m not creating future problems for Fran.

“Greg, let her go.” Jack demands of him while moving into a more advantageous position.

“And I suppose you’re going to make me, huh?” Greg is still acting the imbecile.

“If I have to and you don’t have the brains to know you’re outclassed.”

“Fran. You just wait over here a minute. I’ve got some business to take care of, then I’ll be back.”

Greg pushes me back hard against Jack’s car before turning back to Jack who lands a beautiful punch to Greg’s mid-section causing him to fold even as Jack brings up a knee to slow Greg’s rate of fall through an advantageous collision with Greg’s nose. Greg drops to the ground screaming and crying as Jack escorts me around to the passenger door which he holds open for me then closes after I am seated before returning to the driver’s door. We depart leaving Greg sitting in the lot holding his nose as he is still crying.

“We’ll need to keep our eyes open now you know.” I mention as we drive to Jack’s home, “He won’t let it rest now. He’ll get some of his idiot buddies and be back.”

“Yeah. Well next time I won’t play softly either. They might put me down due to sheer numbers but some of them will go to the hospital.”

“Geez, Jack. He and his buddies are on the football team.”

“That’s okay. I know some of them too and there are a few things Dad taught me which will help me out.”

“Your Dad?”

“Yeah. He was in the Special Forces. He told me never to get in a fight, but if I have to fight then fight to win. There’s no rules. Whoever is standing after it’s all over is the winner.”

“Geez, Jack.”

“Yeah. You know something? It felt kind of nice to keep a bully away from my girl.”

“JACK. I’m NOT a girl.”

“I know. I just, sort of meant, well... just look at us for a second. We look like a guy and a girl who were out on a date. In that context I was protecting the honor of my girl. I didn’t mean anything bad about it.”

“Uhh. Yeah... It was a little like that wasn’t it?” We pull up into his driveway.

“You know Jack, if that’s the case then your girl might do this as a thank you.” I lean over and kiss him lightly on the lips then open my car door and get out going to the back to retrieve the pizza box, as a stunned Jack sits there.

“Come on, Jack we need to study.”

“Uh. Er, yeah. Damn, Tony. You’re scary, you know that?”

“Scary?”

“Yeah. For a second it felt like a girl really kissed me.”

“Think of it as getting in character.”

“Oh, yeah. Right. Getting in character. You’re a character all right.”

“Look who’s talking. If it wasn’t for you and Mr. Zimmer I wouldn’t even be doing this. Come on. I need to finish my paper and study a while before I go home.”

“Maybe you better change first so you don’t get any pizza on your sister’s skirt.”

I look down suddenly before conceding, “you’re probably right. I’m going upstairs. Do you have any root beer to go with the pizza?”

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

I managed to get home by eight, despite the delay caused when I had to go back into Jack’s house to remove the makeup and ear-rings. I’m glad he noticed and told me about them. I’m still worried about Greg but don’t know how I can tell Sis to be careful about him. She can’t stand him so I hope she’s always on her guard whenever he’s around. Most of the girls hate him so they tend to bunch up for mutual protection whenever he comes around, sort of like sheep and a wolf I guess. I can’t believe calm and wholesome Jack beat the crap out of Greg. If I hadn’t seen it I never would have believed it.

I check out the clothes I ‘borrowed’ from Sis and manage to get her skirt back into her room without her or Mom seeing me. The blouse will need to be washed, er... hell, ‘dry clean only’... shit. Why didn’t I notice that before I borrowed it. Well, if she doesn’t notice before Wednesday I could put it in Monday afternoon on a rush. Shit, there’s another $5.00 I didn’t count on. Too late to get it in today and they’re not open tomorrow so Monday is the earliest.

“Hi Tony.”

“Oh. Hi Fran. How’re you doing this evening?”

“Good. You?”

She suspects something, “Good, good. I noticed everyone was gone when I got home. You guys finish early?”

“Yes. We actually got a lot done and even worked on the Calculus a bit. I was wondering if you could give me a hand with it for a bit.”

“Sure, Sis. What’s up?”

“Oh good.” She pulls her book from behind her back, “It these two sets of integrations. For some reason they just don’t make sense to me.”

Sis and I spend a couple of hours on Calc and I’m beginning to realise that it’s kind of nice having a sister and helping her with stuff. She’s got the one down pat and understands the concept. I made up a problem which follows the same concept and she solved it just fine. The other one, she can handle but has to give it more thought. She rewards me with a hug which I reciprocate before she leaves the room, looking at me a little strangely as she goes.

The next morning we are up a little earlier than usual for a Sunday and I think I finally figured out a way to warn Fran about Greg. After breakfast I go up and knock on her door, “Fran? Could I talk with you a minute?”

“Sure. What about, having girl problems?”

“Not exactly. I, uh... wanted to let you know some scuttlebutt that I heard through the guys.”

“As if I’m interested.”

“It’s about you.”

“ME? What sort of scuttlebutt?”

“Remember that guy Greg...”

“Yeah. Mr. Leech. He’s seriously impaired.”

“Well, the word is he’s out to get you. Forcefully if necessary. I just want you to be careful. Don’t go anywhere alone, okay?”

She looks at me for a few seconds surprised I would care enough to warn her I suppose. She smiles and puts her hand up to my cheek, “Thanks Tony. I’ll be careful.”

“If you need help and Jack’s around, yell for him. He can handle Greg.”

“Jack? He doesn’t look like he could fight his way out of a wet paper bag.”

“Believe me, he has fighting talents which would surprise you.”

“Have you been fighting?”

“No. Promise. I just had the opportunity to watch Jack spar with someone. He’s pretty good.”

“Jack... I’ll remember. Thanks Tony.” She wraps her arms around my neck and I carefully hold her around her waist. Just then Mom comes by the room.

“Now that’s something I don’t see often enough.”

I turn red and step back as Sis explains, “Tony was concerned about me. It’s kind of nice having a brother who cares.”

“I always care, even when I give you a hard time ‘little sister’.”

Fran gives a little laugh, “A case of the pot calling the kettle black. Go on, get out of here before I have to give my brother another hug.”

I get, as Mom watches my retreat before she goes into Fran’s room, closing the door behind her.

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

Another weekend has passed by followed by an uneventful Monday. Mrs. Thompson is home early Tuesday for a change relishing in her new found leisure time. Hearing the front door she looks up and spots her daughter just going for the stairs, “Francine is that you young lady? Don’t you even think about sneaking upstairs. You come in here right now.”

Oh crap, Mom’s home early. What do I do? What do I do? Aw shit... Damn, why couldn’t he have been home? I could have changed and Mom wouldn’t be the wiser.

“I’m waiting.”

Crap. I guess I better face the music. What can she do to me but ground me for a year. Or maybe strip me naked and send me outside?

“Yes Mom?”

“Don’t you ‘Yes Mom’ me, young lady. Did I or did I not tell you that you could not wear that short skirt out of the house?”

My skirt?

“Er... Yes Mom, you did.”

“And did you or did you not wear it out?”

“Yes, but the cheerleaders wear shorter skirts than this and...”

“YOU are not a cheerleader and you are not leading a cheer. Did you wear that over to Jeremy’s?”

“No Mom,” looking horrified.

“Then where DID you wear it?”

Think fast, take a chance, “I went over to show Beth. That’s all Mom, honest.”

“Who else was there?”

“No one. We studied and she saw my skirt. She has one similar so we were comparing them.” I think I saw her wearing one like this.

“Well. I’ll let it slide this time against my better judgement. I would prefer you not wear it again.”

Looking dejected, “Ok... er... All right, Mom. I won’t.”

“Very well then. Go upstairs and change.”

“I will. Thanks Mom.”

“For What?”

“For not grounding me.”

“I still might if you do it again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Okay then. Go on, go up and change.”

Mrs. Thompson watches her daughter go out of the room and on up the stairs. A few moments later she hears the sound of a door closing. ‘Francine doesn’t usually do that sort of thing. But she acquiesced quickly and she did promise not to do it again. Unlike Tony, Francine takes her promises to heart.’

Tony hears his sister moving in her room as he is washing his face in preparation of going down to supper. A few minutes later he has put away the clothes he was wearing earlier and is on his way down to the dining room as his sister comes out of her room and joins him. Taking his arm in hers they enter the dining room together.

“Now that’s a sight I seldom see. The two of you getting along with no mouthing or running.”

“We’re celebrating, Mom. Tony and I have gone a whole day without spatting with each other.”

“Oh my goodness, get out the balloons and champagne.”

The two youngsters begin laughing and join their mother for supper after helping to bring it out to the table.

“That’s a nice outfit, Fran.”

“?... Thank you Mother.” Francine glances at Tony with a ‘what’s wrong with Mom?’ expression on her face.

“Don’t ask, just enjoy it.” he whispers back.

Supper goes smoothly and there is no further mention of Francine’s transgression with the short skirt.

After supper, clean up goes as usual with the two siblings taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen and putting the left overs into storage containers to go in the fridge while their Mother prepares the dishes for the washer. As this ritual is nearing half completion the phone rings.

“Francine, it’s Beth for you.”

“Thanks Mom, I’ll grab it upstairs. Will you hang it up when I answer?”

“Of course, dear.” the reply coming too late as Fran has already rushed out of the room to go upstairs.

A few moments later her mother hangs up the kitchen phone and she and Tony continue the after dinner cleanup.

“Tony, I want to thank you for beginning a truce with your sister. I think you’ll find that things could be a lot better around here when you both treat one another nicely.”

“It has been nice Mom. I just given it a lot of thought lately and I think I’m beginning to see being a girl isn’t all that easy.”

They are just finishing the cleanup duties when a very perplexed Fran returns to the kitchen.

“Fran? You look worried. What’s wrong?” placing a hand on her child’s forehead before looking at her closely.

“Beth said there is a rumor going around that Jack is in the hospital because of me.”

“You? Now how could his being in the hospital have anything to do with you?”

“She said he was jumped by several boys after he protected me or someone who looked like me from one of them down at the Mall a few days ago. They caught him and beat him up outside the old community theater. But Mom, it wasn’t me. I haven’t been down by the theater at all. And I haven’t gone anywhere with Jack. The kids’ll murder me over this. It has to be someone else who looks like me. Oh God, Jeremy will be furious, he might even dump me as a study partner. I need that grade and I’m terrible at Calc and Biology.”

“Now, now dear. I’m sure there is a sensible explanation. Tony, you spend a lot of time with Ja... Tony? Tony, where are you? Tony, have you gone upstairs?”

Francine is still sniffling as she and her mother go up to check Tony’s room. He isn’t in it and both his coat and backpack are gone.

“Francine, get ready to go out. I think we will go over to check with Jack’s parents and if they are not home then we will go check at the hospital. I’m going to get to the bottom of this.”

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

‘Oh Shit. Shit. shit. shit. Damn that Greg. Now what do I do? I’ve gotta tell Mr. Zimmer. Without Jack I can’t get to the theater. If I tell Mom now I’ll be grounded the rest of my life. Maybe Mr. Zimmer can help me. He should be at the theater with the other group who are preparing for ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’. Why did this mess have to happen? Somebody just needs to shoot Greg or maybe break his neck on the football field. Come on bus, I need to get downtown fast. Mom’ll kill me.

Bus... Finally bus, “I need a transfer please. Thank you”

Man, I wish Startrek transporters really existed. Can’t this bus go faster? Whoa, there go Mom and Fran.’

Tony watches the car as long as he can and sees it turn right maybe eight or nine blocks ahead of the bus. ‘Where are they... oh, maybe Jack’s. That’s okay. His parents don’t know anything. They were gone Saturday. Is there anything... No. Everything’s in my backpack. NO! There’s makeup at his house. It’s hidden though and they really don’t have a reason to search for it. Aw shit, Greg you asshole, somebody needs to beat you up royal.’

Tony continues to worry. He finally gets off the bus and transfers to another route which will take him past the community theater. Fortunately he is on the second bus before his Mother and Sister drive past on their way to the hospital to speak with Jack’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Corbin.

After what seems like an eternity the bus finally passes by the community theater and Tony is off and running back the half block from the bus stop to the stage door of the theater.

“Whoa. Hold it young man. No one goes in who isn’t a member of the cast or crew.”

“I’m part of the cast for the program which starts Friday. I’ve got an emergency and need to see Mr. Zimmer.”

“Let’s see your ID and I’ll check the list of cast member for the show.”

“Well, you won’t find my name on there because... because Mr. Zimmer gave me a stage name since I’m still in school.”

“Uh Huh. Do you have anything with that name on it?”

“Uh, no. But I gotta see Mr. Zimmer. It terribly important.”

“Look son. I can’t let you in. You can’t prove you’re on the cast or crew, you can’t come in. Insurance regulations. Besides, even if you were you couldn’t come in tonight since that cast won’t meet again until tomorrow and Friday’s the first performance.”

“Can’t you understand? There won’t be a performance unless I talk with Mr. Zimmer. Just let me see him for a minute and he’ll tell you it’s okay.”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I’d be rich. Go on, get out of here.”

“When Mr. Zimmer wants to know where one of his crew members and one of the lead performers for Friday’s performance have vanished to, remember this conversation. He won’t be happy and when he finally calls me I’ll tell him you wouldn’t let me see him.”

“Sure, sonny. Sure. Get out of here.”

“MR. ZIMMER!”

“Shut up kid and get out. They’re rehearsing in there and I won’t have you upsetting them.”

“MR. ZIMMER! IT’S TONY!”

“OUT KID. NOW.”

“I’m going but you remember what I said.”

The security guard assists Tony out the door and watches to make certain he leaves.

“What was all that yelling back here?”

“Just some nutty kid, Mr. Zimmer.”

“What did he or she want?”

“He was trying to convince me he was part of the show opening Friday but his name isn’t on the list.”

Mr. Zimmer frowns at this and shrugs his shoulders walking away but stopping after about twenty paces then returns to the guard.

“Was the kid a male or a female?”

“Some young punk.”

“Was his name Tony?”

“Yeah, now that you mention it. How did you know?”

“What did he say... Exactly.”

“Just that he had to see you and it was important. OH, and something about one of the crew and one of the cast not making it to your Friday opening. The kid was just trying to get in the theater. I’ve had dozens of them trying the same kind of trick.”

“Except this one wasn’t a trick. Tony IS a member of the cast.”

“His name isn’t on the list.”

“That was an oversight on my part. Did you see where he went?”

“Just down the block and around toward the front of the Theater.”

Mr. Zimmer hurries out and goes down to the corner looking around to try to see Tony. Seeing no one he shouts down the street in the hopes of attracting his wayward performers attention, “TONY!”

No one. What could have happened to bring him here this evening and with such a dire message? Whatever it is, it couldn’t be good. “TONY?”

‘Damn, when you need guards to be efficient, they aren’t. And when you need them to be inefficient, they aren’t that either. Do I still have his home phone number? It won’t do any good to call yet. He won’t be home for a while. Missing one of the plays leads and a crew member won’t be a good thing especially since many of the tickets have already been sold. Who was it who came with him each time? What was his name? Jack something. JACK. I’ll check the crew list, his name wouldn’t have changed.’

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

Tony is walking around the block thinking. It’s a long block and it takes nearly twenty minutes. ‘Shit. That security guard isn’t the one who is on shift the evenings we are in rehearsal. Now what do I do?’

Tony once again is back near the stage door and he considers going in and confronting the guard again, ‘ hell, he’ll probably call the cops and have me arrested. Mr. Zimmer should have given me some kind of proof that I belong here. Maybe if I go in and talk quietly with the guard. Promise to just sit there quietly until someone can talk with me. If he doesn’t like that then I’ll leave quietly and go... go... hell go where? Home I guess. I don’t know what I could do tomorrow since I can’t dress as a girl before I go to the theater and the guards don’t know me as Tony. I’m fucked. Mr. Zimmer will kill me. I could tell Mom... then she’ll save Mr. Zimmer the trouble. Mom’ll kill me for dressing like Fran and Mr. Zimmer will kill me for ruining his show. Double indemnity. I lose twice. This really isn’t fair. It wasn’t my idea. Damn. Now what? Guess I’ll go to the bus stop and go home... ‘

Tony looks up and notices the bus which would take him toward home is just now trundling on past on the opposite side of the street, a blue haze following in it’s wake. ‘oh great. Well at least I can go sit down and wait for the next one.’

“HEY YOU, KID!”

“I GIVE UP. DON’T WORRY, I’M GOING. I’m going.”

“Hey k... ...p. Zim... ...s to... ...ou.”

What did he say? “WHAT?” I wave at him to wait a second while I walk over so I may hear him.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. I’m going, you don’t need to call the cops or anything.”

“No. It’s okay kid. I talked with Zimmer and he said I could let you in. He confirmed you’re on the crew. He’s in his office trying to find your phone number.”

“Oh Shit. Mom doesn’t know yet. Please God, don’t let him call yet.”

“What’s that?”

“I need to see him right away. I know where his office is can I go in?”

“Sure. Sign the register and get on with it.”

I rush through signing and then remember I just used the name Mr. Zimmer gave me. I am so truly screwed. I shake my head a couple of times and rush off to Mr. Zimmer’s office knocking on the door several times before it opens.

“Tony. Thank God. I’ve been trying to track you down.”

“Did you call Mom?”

“Not yet. I found the number for your friend and called there looking for you but their answering machine picked up instead.”

“That’s because Jack is in the hospital.”

“Hospital? What’s he doing in the hospital?”

“Remember when we told you yesterday about that twerp Greg Madison who tried to grab me because he thought I was my sister, and Jack knocked him for a loop so we could get away? Jack has been protecting me while I travel between here and back home each of our rehearsal nights. Greg and some of his friends beat Jack up and he is in the hospital. Mom doesn’t know about me dressing like a girl for the show. Hell, she and Fran don’t even know I’m IN the show, much less as a lead. Could you come and help me explain? Hell Mom’ll kill me for wearing Fran’s things to get here and do rehearsals.”

“Why didn’t you explain to her before?”

“Oh yeah I can picture that. Oh, by the way Mom, I’m dressing like Fran so I can be the leading lady in a theater production. Mom’s the original boys are boys and girls are girls and never the twain shall meet. She’s been like that at least since Dad left. I am so screwed. No matter what I do I’m dead. If I tell Mom, she and Fran will kill me and if I don’t then you’ll kill me for messing up your show. I should never have allowed you and Jack to convince me this could go any way but bad.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad. Let me tell Ms. Bellamy we are leaving to see a crew member who is in the hospital.”

╠╬╣ ╠╬╣

Mr. Zimmer drives us to the hospital to see how Jack is doing and we meet up with his parents there. They are understandably a bit upset at the news that Jack has given to both them and to my Mom. I hope you could call it being upset. At least Mr. Corbin wasn’t trying to kill me... not yet anyway. They feel I have to share some of the blame for Jack being in the hospital since if I hadn’t been dressed as a girl he wouldn’t have needed to protect me from Greg and thus he wouldn’t have been beaten. Ergo, my fault. One more nail in my coffin. So now Mom knows. I’m screwed. Is there anything else that can be blamed on me?

“Mr. And Mrs. Corbin, even though Jack was beaten off site of the theater, I am going to try and have our insurance cover his expenses. He was trying to protect one of our lead performers and was beaten as a result. That makes it theater business. I can’t guarantee it but I will certainly pursue it with great diligence. I’m sorry this happened and your son is quite welcome to come and work with us again once he has improved.”

“Mr. Zimmer, we would appreciate that but we still have some difficulty with this whole thing. It seems just a little too weird to be healthy.”

“Possibly. Would you grant me one condition?”

“Possibly.”

They both laugh, “Mr. Corbin, I like you. You remind me of some the guys back when I was in the 85th. I miss those conversations.”

“83rd air, SFC.”

“You’re kidding? SFC, myself.”

“Nup, not kidding. Good, one mudslinger to another.”

“Small world, Mr. Corbin. Here. Here are four tickets to the opening performance Friday night. Come see it before you think too badly about any of this. See just what we really were trying to accomplish here. Not something perverse but instead a superlative show due to the appropriate use of young talent which exceeded that of any other available to us. We aren’t out to make people into something they’re not. We just use superb talent where and when it is available to us and in the manner which we happen to need at the time. Tony isn’t the first boy to play the part of a girl for our theater. We have even had a few girls who have played the part of a boy. As a male or as a female, Tony is a superb actor, or actress if you will, he has no interest in becoming a female but did this out of his love for the theater. Please keep that in mind as you watch the performance. You aren’t watching a boy trying to be a girl but a performer trying to entertain an audience. Nice to have met you both.”

“Nice to have met you too, Zimmer. Good luck. And we’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it. Jack was saying you had him try out for another show you’re planning for later this year.”

“Yes. He did quite well at the part too. I hope he is well enough in two months to make rehearsals.”

“Me too.”

I don’t know how Mr. Zimmer pulled that off but all of a sudden Mr. And Mrs. Corbin aren’t after my blood and they are even interested in seeing just what I can do in the role. If Mom could only be that understanding.

We go to my home and after the first six hundred or so words out of Mom’s mouth Mr. Zimmer actually has the opportunity to say something and once again we begin the explanation. Mom is a hard sell and we spend over an hour before she begins to calm down enough that she is really listening. Sis just sits there quietly up until we reach the point where Mr. Zimmer wants me to go upstairs and change so Mom can see I’ve been trying to “get in character” for my part.

I don’t know if Sis is angry or happy. I really can’t read any emotion off of her and that’s a big change since usually we know what each other are feeling. As I get up to go upstairs, Sis stops me and looks me straight in eyes. I don’t know what she is feeling but it doesn’t feel good to me.

“Tony. You better be a super girl because if you’re not, you won’t live the rest of the night after the problems you created for me with that Jackass Greg. And you owe me big time because Jeremy is madder than a hornet about me going out with Jack and doesn’t believe I didn’t.”

“Tell you what Sis. If I live past tonight, I’ll go with you as a girl to see Jeremy and that’ll prove you didn’t go out with Jack. Your twin sister did. Okay?”

“That might work. Go on. I want to see this.”

I go up to my room and carefully unpack my backpack. Then I get a bright idea and sneak quietly into Fran’s room and borrow that mini skirt again. Half an hour later I’m dressed and have my makeup on and barely have the courage to go down and face Mom and Fran.

When I finally walk into the living room, Mom and Fran take one look at me.

“You’re wearing my skirt. Mom she’s wearing my skirt.” Fran screams out.

Mom is just sitting there with the wheels turning, “You didn’t really go over to Beth’s did you dear?”

I am so screwed, “no Mom. I went to Jack’s so he could help me run through the play once more before our last rehearsal but no one was there since he was in the hospital and his parents had gone there too. I came right home after that and if you hadn’t been home early you would never have known. Well at least until I gave you the tickets to see the performance.

If I hadn’t been helping Jack with his rehearsing for the school play then Mr. Zimmer would never have thought I was a girl. I was playing the girl’s part against Jack’s role. We do that all the time at school since we never know who is going to be available to help us learn a role. Girls help girls or boys and read either gender’s parts and so do the boys. It’s just whoever is available. I was helping Jack since I read his script but Mr. Zimmer thought Jack was helping me since he had the script and I was working from memory. Then when I was reading back the female part and putting feeling into it to help Jack Mr. Zimmer came to the wrong conclusion. It wasn’t until four weeks later that I suddenly understood that all the more recent parts I was reading for the community theater were girl’s parts and that was the time he gave us our casting assignments. I told him immediately after that but it was too late. They didn’t have anyone else to play the part. I was stuck.”

By now Mom is laughing, “And which part are you playing young lady?”

“Moommm.”

She starts laughing harder than ever.

“Mom,” I whine, “It isn’t funny.”

“No, it’s not...” she cackles, “It’s absolutely hilarious. My son, a woman in a play. I’ve got to get tickets.”

“I have them upstairs.” I say dejectedly.

“Oh, I don’t want just one or two. I’ve got to invite Grandma Thompson and Aunt Claire. Oh, Jenny has to see this. And there’s Laura and her daughter...”

“Mom. Mom! I have twelve tickets for the opening performance Friday night.”

“Twelve? Wonderful. I could find twelve I want to see this. What part do you play?’

I mumble out my answer.

“What? Young lady, speak up. There’s no mumbling in this house.”

“Eliza Doolittle.” I say in a small voice.

“Oh this is absolutely precious. Fran meet your sister, what name do you use honey?”

I look at Mr. Zimmer before burying my head in my arms, my face red even through the makeup, “Antoinette. Toni for short.”

“Fran meet your sister, Antoinette. Antoinette your sister Fran.”

“Moommm, I’m not a girl.”

“Let me see. Not a girl? You look like a girl, perfume... You smell like a girl. Long hair, pretty eyes, makeup, feminine voice and walk. Hmmm. Are you certain?” Mom is off and laughing again.

“Mom,” Sis breaks in, “I want to take her over to show to Jeremy so he won’t continue to think I’m dumping him.”

“What? I can’t go out like this.”

“Why not, you’ve been going to the theater like that for what, six weeks, seven? You’re about to play the part of a girl in a play. Just go with your sister and help her out this once. And don’t you dare make a play for her boyfriend either young lady or you’re grounded.”

“Wot? Mae? Eharr Nuoow, Ahm ah good gurl, Ah ahm.”

Mom, Sis and Mr. Zimmer all break out in laughter at that one.

The cadets see their professor beam onto her dais in the newly built lecture hall just before she glances around at all the second year and a few enterprising first year academy cadets arrayed in the few hundred seats surrounding her. Her eyes taking in the few empty seats scattered here and there throughout the hall. More than she expected. The male cadets appreciating her Academy issue uniform showing her long legs and many female cadets glad she is not their age and competing for the same males whenever time allows.

---

Their professor has just gone from teaching advanced theory to a few dozen highly intelligent cadet-engineers only an hour previously before migrating now to this large assembly of moderately new academy cadets where basic appreciation of certain inventions will be discussed during the ensuing term. The former individuals are about to graduate from the academy to join the ranks of those now flying through space on their missions of daring-do. These in this hall are still in the throws of learning about the vast gardens of worlds and galaxies available to those who shall in four or five more years finally graduate and move out to make room for even more new minds anxious to follow in their footsteps.

The sphere of exploration which began within this system hundreds of centuries after those so many others which occurred in distant galaxies and upon other such innocuous worlds has now expanded beyond that of even those brother’s and sister’s efforts. This being the first race which managed to combine with those oh so many others and to produce such a large expanse of joined cultures all wishing to explore and learn. You might say this race is the amalgam which holds it all together. Therefore, the academy was built here on this home world for these strange bi-pedal beings who’s curiosity and innovation propelled them further from their homes than had any other and which allowed so many other races to now considered themselves allies, however unwilling, due to the mediating of this far younger race.

In a voice tinged only slightly with the accent of her own home country and planet due to the many years presence she has placed within this institute of learning and upon this planet within this small solar system and which has become her home of sorts she begins, “I expect you are all wondering why I summoned you here...” Eliciting the groaning response which she expected of the beginnings of an old, old joke.

“Today I am going to introduce you to ‘The ŹarakÅ‘v Effect’. Many of you are undoubtedly familiar with it although perhaps not by that name. Most who have learned of it have done so through the holo-game consoles which, while quite effective in their operation, barely touch upon the true capabilities of the original concept. Those of you who make it into space will find most of the large ships will have one or more holo-suites which are capable of creating extremely large expanses within their confines.

Some of you have already learned from your gaming or training experiences that groups of you may be involved in a single creation and that you may all go in your own selected direction away from the others watching them vanish completely out of sight behind objects around which you are exploring and permitting you the illusion of traveling up to several hundreds of kilometers each in a different direction such that you cannot yell to one another for your voices cannot reach the distance involved. Yet, while you are all at your own lonely place within the created world, the projection may be cut off and you will find yourselves within easy reach of each other still within the holo-suite.

As your training intensifies you will be made conversant with the ‘Richmond-Yeats modifications’ which have allowed for more freedom on the part of those projections and which, ultimately, was the reason those computer projections were granted sentient existence rights . A part of this training will be in learning ways to determine if what you are seeing is real or a projection. Keep in mind, however, the Richmond-Yeats modification removes the restraints which protect you from harm so when you encounter an RYM you must keep in mind it is just as capable as any other sentient life form... in it’s ability to take your life. Both of the individuals who discovered this modification were in fact killed by their creations... accidentally, but killed non-the-less. Now, if you have not fastened the seat belts you find on your lecture seats please do so before we begin. If your belt is non-functional, immediately say so. What you are about to experience could be extremely hazardous if your belt is not working properly.”

The professor allows thirty seconds for the cadets to find and secure their belts with only two indicating their belts do not appear to be working properly. Less than a minute is needed to allow those cadets to make their way to an empty seat with a working belt.

“If everyone is now secure, we will begin. Do not believe just because the floor is at your feet that you are safe. A fall or impact within the projection during the Richmond-Yeats interval could be just as fatal as one in reality. The computers would make it so. We had a serious injury just last month which washed out a cadet who thought he would be safe leaving his seat.”

She pauses once again as she sees a few cadets now begin to scramble to find their seat belts, after another thirty seconds she continues.

“This two hour introduction to ‘The ŹarakÅ‘v Effect’ will slowly work up from the essentials to some rather complex projections. At the time of these complex constructs remain in your seats and belted for there will be ‘things’ interacting with your own reality. I wish you all to confirm you may hear me through your com links. Do so by tapping the link. Computer, has everyone complied?”

“Cadet Hershell has not so responded, seat 196, Doctor Bentall.”

A slight murmur goes through the seated cadets as they realise who is teaching the class.

“Cadet Hershell. Why have you not responded? Answer verbally.”

“I tapped my com-link, Doctor.”

“Do so again now... Mr. Hershell, your link is defective. You must leave and have it replaced. If you are unable to hear and respond to my voice during this demonstration you could be put at risk. Computer, alert the maintenance techs that Mr. Hershell will be visiting them in seven minutes and then direct Mr. Hershell to their location. No detours, no delays, authorization Gamma Three Beta.”

“Gamma Three Beta, Doctor Bentall.”

“Cadet Hershell, move! You are holding up my class. You will be rescheduled into tomorrow afternoon’s lecture and your schedule adjusted to accommodate the change. Failure to attend tomorrow’s lecture could affect your standing in your class. Your academics are quite good thus far as I see here. You don’t want to take the chance of dropping low enough to hold you back a season.”

“Yes Doctor, I’m on my way.”

After the student departs, Doctor Bentall continues her lecture.

“Any other interruptions? No? Then let us begin. The ŹarakÅ‘v Effect was a brilliant piece of work. Realizing that the eye had a limited range of sensory capability, ŹarakÅ‘v originally considered ways in which the intersection of trans-light beams coupled with both ultra-sonics and radio modulations could cause the production of visible light and eventually sound at the junctures. After several years of experimentation he actually was able to produce an image which could be seen as something approaching a hazy form and which could be projected as moving through a region covered by the limited number of projectors he had available.”

The classroom has darkened and tens of thousands of small specks of light begin to sparkle throughout the room slowly coalescing into larger and larger indistinct forms following the thread of the lecture.

“It wasn’t until he was given additional support by the union of nations and, thus, the access to ten thousand emitters and four of the most powerful computers available that he was able to make his first real breakthrough. While his first attempt with the new equipment was rather simplistic it was, non-the-less, a discovery of monumental proportions.”

Small cubes of multi-colored material are now rotating before each of the students. Their outlines remain hazy but far more defined than the specks of light previously seen.

“The discovery was important and necessitated a great deal of further consideration before he continued his experiments. Nearly a year went by before he and his team implemented his latest revisions to the software and to the emitters... refining them into narrower projections allowing greater detail within those projections. These changes permitted him to achieve some remarkable increases in the definition and character of the projections.”

Again the cubes are rotating, but now solidly defined and in far greater numbers.

“The new software allowed far less computing power to produce much more definition, quantity, AND substance to the projections. Yes, substance. Your holo-games allow you to see the projections before you as though they are reality. Gently wave your hand through the cubes before you.”

She pauses to allow the cadets to do so before continuing.

“Now take your hands away from the cubes... Computer project solids.”

The cubes shimmer a moment before steadying once again. Something appears to have changed but it is difficult to decide exactly what has happened.

“Now, carefully touch the cubes. You may hold them, you may reverse their spin, you may do most anything to them that you would do to any other object found in reality.”

The cadets begin to play with the cubes, one stacking eight of them together into a more complex shape then allowing it to rotate upon the axis of one cube near the end thus creating an object which is sweeping around before him.

“Have you all felt the cubes, tap you links?.. Good. Move away from the cubes once again... This discovery brought about a number of interesting side effects which will be considered preparatory to the RYM 201 lecture series.

With the discovery that his little light show could also produce near solids of enough density to be touched and felt caused him to spend yet another year in pursuit of that avenue of material projection. What he was doing was essentially allowing a computer the ability to create solid objects of sufficient consistency to be considered ‘real’. This was the earliest precursor to our modern holo-decks and matter replicators which, following the introduction of the Richmond-Yeats modifications, allows us to now derive our nourishment and building materials on a permanent basis from the devices. As you all know this has had a far reaching impact upon our lives.”

During this portion of the lecture the images become solids and take on forms well known to the cadets who have just begun to knowingly experience holo-teaching suites but who are still unaware of the far-reaching capacities they hold. As the lecture continues, each person seated in the lecture hall gradually sees fewer and fewer of the other cadets with more and more of the region surrounding them taken by the projections. Finally none of the cadets may see another and the image is of space without a ship around any of them. Each is in their own isolated bubble looking out at the vast expanse before them.

“As we created materials through gigantic consoles and assembled those materials through the use of robotic technicians, we made large ships which, through the use of anti-matter containment, allow us to generate the energy to power these ships and the addition of another important discovery - trans-warp drive. Now we began to explore. Virtual gravity also became very important for we found we could not survive long in zero gee before serious difficulties began to occur in the bodies of those who were exploring. Some never were able to return to more than a light gravity planet or moon.

During these explorations the Źarakőv Effect became more and more important to us. The food, repair materials, entertainment and more were all created using variations of the original discovery. In some extreme cases with the implementation of the Richmond- Yeats modification, the holo-suites were able to become factories which allowed the creation and shaping of materials which were used to repair damaged ships. So long as the anti-matter containment continued to operate there was enough energy to power the replicators. And no, we cannot replicate anti-matter, at least not successfully. There are now safeguards to prevent such attempts. Many of you may recall Nor-Delta Prime? For those of you who do not, that was the planet and system upon which someone attempted antimatter creation. The resultant fusion with a small amount of the matter of the planet resulted in the destruction of the entire system and placed dozens of surrounding systems into imbalance. Playing with anti-matter is not a good idea.

Once again, look about you at all you see. How do you determine which is generated and which is reality? At the moment it is relatively easy for you know this as you could not be in space without the protection of a ship or suit designed for that protection. However, if we place you on a planet with an agrarian economy, how do you know you are in the lecture hall and not there watching the farmers who are tilling the land? You are able to see it all... You are able to touch it... smell it. Reach out to the wheat before you and pluck one small piece. Does it not feel real in your hands? Place a kernel in your mouth, can you not taste it? What is reality and what is created?”

The lights come up once again in the lecture hall and the cadets may see each other.

“The hour has ended. We shall continue this next week at the same time. Rise! Dismissed.”

The doctor watches the cadets as they work their way out the exits and on toward their next classes or breaks. The cadets walk out of the building and make their individual paths toward the locations of their next assignments small groups discussing that which they have seen until they are nearly across campus in a multitude of directions from the building where they were receiving their lecture.

Suddenly everything is black. Slowly light begins to creep back into existence around them as they find themselves back in the lecture hall still buckled into their seats.

“How do you know you are in the lecture hall and not walking around the Star-fleet Academy grounds? Now it is obvious. Was the reality of leaving my lecture hall sufficient? Shake hands with the cadets on either side of you. Are they real? How do you know? What would you do if everyone in this room was a projection except you? What would you do to learn everyone else was real and you are the projection?”

As the Doctor says this, each cadet sees those around them fade away as though they were but projections, the only voice which may be heard is that of the cadet him or herself echoing through the empty lecture hall. Slowly everyone fades back into view.

“Our modern holo-suites are capable of some unbelievable realities. Doubt your senses but rely on them. Earlier you thought you were walking out on the grounds only to learn you actually remained here. Question everything. Be aware of all around you. There are hints here and there. Observe carefully that which you see, hear, smell or taste. Reality is perceptions, the ŹarakÅ‘v Effect and it’s many subsequent alterations now blur that reality so we may find ourselves training in a ship hundreds or thousands of light years from here only to discover it is our own back yard and we are simply experiencing a massive projection allowing us to learn.

What is reality? It is what we perceive and accept. If we don’t accept it, is it still able to harm us? Yes, because reality is far more than any of us could believe. Next week we will begin to examine the ŹarakÅ‘v Effect and exactly how we may determine if we are dealing with a projection of the ŹarakÅ‘v nature or of the modern RYM type. Dismissed.”

She watches as the cadets again file out of the lecture hall, this time for real, and when the hall is cleared she beams off the dias and to her home across the bay on an overlook which permits her to view the Pacific in an effort to alleviate the longing for her home world.

“Home early I see, dearest; and still using that projected form.”

“Yes...” As she reaches toward her dainty watch and moments later there is a wizended older man blue in color standing where once the human female did. His robes in swirling hues far unlike the uniform skirt seen on the young woman.

“I still use that form. It is far more receptive to those being trained than this, my own. Old animosities are difficult to overcome despite all this young race has done. Besides when I go to eat there are always those who would purchase me a flask of the Daktarian ale of which I am so fond or pay for my meal simply to have the opportunity to talk. In my own form our Vulcan, Romulan and Klingon allies would walk out of the lecture hall. Further, the voice is appealing to the cadets for some reason so they learn more. It makes no sense but that is the way of prejudices.”

“You are incorrigible my dear old fraud.”

“Ah, but my darling wife... I am your incorrigible old fraud.”
 
 

 © 2010 by Rénae Dáºmas. This work may not be replicated or presented in whole or in part by any means electronic or otherwise without the express consent of the work’s Owner (copyright holder), with the exception of the private and non-commercial viewing by the reader who is also the end purchaser. ALL Rights Reserved, including but not limited to ownership of Characters, final content decision, and more. This is a work of Fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this story are fictional and any resemblance to real people or incidents past, present or future is purely coincidental.

An Aldoennetti Original.