Can there be a happy ending for a zombie? Is such a thing possible? Will a Scary Codmother…er, Fairy Godmother, appear? Or is that just wishful thinking?
Dribble shuffled to the decaying entryway, looking out on the fallow countryside just beyond the doorstep. There had been a sound, he was sure of it. But no one came this way anymore. Couldn’t have been the sound he thought he had heard.
“Ears must be going now,” he said to himself, preparing to shuffle back to his tattered pallet where he spent the majority of his time laying among the detritus of his existence. It wasn’t much. Unlike the other zombies, Dribble never shed limbs or large chunks of himself.
The Master had noted that right away about Dribble. It was the reason he gave the zombie his name. For want of a better descriptive, Dribble…dribbled. Slowly, inexorably, he lost little bits of himself. Even now, he almost passed as a living person. In low light. Well, on a moonless night. Inside a deep cave.
His present state had taken so long to unfold that the other zombies had all wasted away to nothing. Literally nothing. Even the Master had long since expired, unwilling to use a posthumous reanimation spell to come back as one of his own creations. Dribble was truly alone.
Yet, he could have sworn he had heard the sound of hooves clattering just outside his door. Dribble sighed (very lightly, as zombies had little use for air and rarely had a good lungful for more voluble activities anyway) and turned back to look outside one more time. Sure enough, there was a broad sheet tacked to the old road-crossing signpost that noted that Oldberg was One Day Past the Oak Tree, and Grayvale was Follow the Creek for a While. At least that was what Dribble imagined the crude pictures carved in the wood were meant to convey.
Dribble was quite certain that he preferred honest letters and words to pictograms. It was hard to remember anything about Before, though he imagined he was a man of letters and words. He even had a book inside that he read at times. It was simple and without any of the large words he was sure he understood. Still, it was something to do to while away the time. And it was romantic.
Zombies have little opportunity for romance, as you can imagine. When there were other zombies around, Dribble would note a few who tried to regain the old magic they remembered as living beings, but it just wasn’t the same. Between the poor circulation that caused greatly reduced sensation in the extremities and the obvious fact that your partner had bits falling off…well, it just wasn’t romantic. Dribble had kept to himself, even then.
But there was a broad sheet out on the way marker. This was something unprecedented in his memory. Now, his recall was admittedly faulty after so long alone. Still, a broad sheet tacked up in such an out of the way place was surely very important.
Dribble sighed, ever so slightly, and shuffled out to read it.
Dribble shuffled as fast as he could back into the decaying structure he charitably called a house and went straight to his pallet. Next to it on a three legged night stand was his Book. Dribble opened it to the sole unblemished illustration, the scene where the Prince first lays eyes on Cinderella.
Dribble gazed at the image longingly before carefully closing the slender volume and placing it back on the night stand. He lay down on his pallet and closed his eyes, not to sleep–for zombies seldom sleep–but to dream about attending a royal ball.
Dreaming while awake, or in that state that passes for wakefulness in zombies, is a curious thing indeed. A zombie’s life seldom seems very real, so dreaming is almost the same. It was this way for Dribble as he watched the Prince and Cinderella dance about the ballroom.
Intricate frescos, separated by gilded timbers, adorned the domed ceiling. Along the walls, tall windows alternated with rich tapestries extolling the virtues and courage of the royals over the ages, and gleaming wall sconces bathed the room in rich light. The dance floor was made of rare hardwoods intricately inlaid in sweeping geometric patterns that some followed in their dance but the more adventurous flew across in dizzying arcs encompassing the entire dance floor.
It was that way with the Prince and Cinderella. They commanded that floor with their bold presentation and graceful steps. The crowd gave way to the enchanting couple and raptly watched their breathtaking display. The Prince dipped Cinderella impossibly low and brought her up in a spin that sent her across the dance floor. She went with the spin, extending the twirl until she was at the limit of the dance floor, immediately before one of the large picture windows. She planted her left foot to stop the spin in dramatic fashion–
CRACK!
The sound was sickening. The watchers gasped in horror as Cinderella’s left ankle bent at an impossible angle and the girl fell back toward the large window.
CRASH!
The window broke and rained shards down upon Cinderella, cutting her flesh but releasing no blood. Bits and pieces blackened and began falling off. Women shrieked and men pulled their wives and dates away from the horrible spectacle. Shouts began around the room. “Zombie, zombie!”
Cinderella shuddered and sobbed in shame. There was no pain, not for a zombie, at least not physically. The pain was inside where the audience could not see it. They did not care about the mental anguish of a zombie, they just wanted her gone.
Cinderella fled into the night, run-hobbling along as fast as she could manage. Just as she reached the bottom of the steps to the palace her ankle finally gave way. When the undead damsel was well away in her magicked coach there remained only a glass slipper…and the foot encased inside.
Dribble came to himself slowly, as if swimming up to the surface of an ocean from a very great depth. He remembered his waking dream with unwelcome clarity. Dribble knew who he wanted to be in that dream. He shuddered and sobbed, but could shed no tears.
Silly zombie, tears are for girls.
Philosophers have often noted that the symbols we use shape our thoughts. They hold power over us. But it is a power we freely give to them. Symbols hold no power that we have not first granted. So, my friends, on this spooky Halloween night, remember: accept not the symbols of others.
Symbols
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But even in the first days of Order there were those who feared the surviving Chaos. They were the ones to hide that primordial energy away from the world, calling it Hateful and Unnatural. And, thus, Chaos passed from the world we live in. It is said that some small portion of that force still resides here on Earth, locked into objects spelled with puissant wards, kept for whatever dark purposes those misguided souls once schemed, yet failed, to accomplish.
Now, my children, you might think to search for such objects and release Chaos back into the world, bringing balance once more to Creation. I beg you, not! What once was pure, innocent Chaos has been prisoned beneath smothering Order of the darkest power for ages upon ages. Who knows what form might rise from such an unnatural tomb? Not I…and not you.
This much we know: three symbols were used to confine primordial Chaos, and they were–
[Editor’s note: the narrative ends here. No surviving text can be found that details these supposed symbols, though many subsequent sources have suggested possibilities. Babylonian, Aramaic, Gnostic symbologies–amongst others–have all been put forth, reasoning that the ancient symbols were passed down to surviving civilizations. In any case, this is clearly a Creation myth account that should be viewed beside other similar myths to understand…
Musa bin Ibrahim tossed the text aside, furious at this latest dead end in his investigation.
Musa rose abruptly. He would wait no longer. The object must be delivered on schedule, even if that meant not having the proper binding ritual at hand. Without an understanding of the symbols, or even the order they had been painted on the object, there was no telling the consequences of releasing what was inside. Still, his instructions were explicit. The rich American was expecting this object the day after tomorrow. There could be no more delay.
Musa sighed. It would have been so wonderful to discover for himself the spells of power that would unleash Chaos for his own use. But it had already cost him the lives of three of his best men just in retrieving the cursed thing. Now there was no time. Carefully picking up the orb in his gloved hand, Musa placed it gently in the transport crate.
Better the rich, stupid American take his chances with it…
In the hold of a cargo jet speeding toward North America, a small ball of fired clay shifted slightly in its carefully constructed nesting material. It was not enough to escape the sturdy confines of packing crate it was prisoned inside–that would have been impossible–but it was just enough for the ball to escape destruction by the piece of turbine blade that screamed from a disintegrating engine and blasted through the fragile fuselage of the jet before tearing the wooden crate into shredded kindling. The clay ball rolled free and wandered aimlessly about the cargo deck as the jet bucked and shivered at the damage unleashed in those few seconds. The pilot fought his controls, desperately trying to compensate for the abrupt change in aerodynamics and thrust. His valiant efforts were rewarded and he was finally able to radio traffic control that they should prepare for an emergency landing at the small commercial airport he was rapidly approaching.
The clay ball rolled on.
“Mom, look at that!”
“What, dear?” Emily asked her 10-year-old son absently as she sunned herself on the beach. Taking advantage of a clear autumn day on the Atlantic side of Florida, mother and son were enjoying a pleasant Saturday afternoon at the beach.
“It’s an airplane, a jet,” Johnnie exclaimed, “and it looks like it is in trouble! It’s lower than it should be and I think something is wrong with one of its wings!”
Johnnie loved all things aeronautical and prided himself on knowing the usual flight patterns to and from the local airport. He also studied pictures of most of the commercial aircraft that used its facilities. This was an older jet, perhaps even one of those 727 cargo carriers he had just been reading about. They were too noisy in their original configuration and had needed retrofitting to make them quieter to still fly in America, but some were still being used. Johnnie briefly noted the unusual markings on the jet, not recognizing any of them from the common carriers he was used to, but mostly his attention was focused on the injured left wing, the one nearest where he was sitting with his mother.
As the jet grew large in the sky, it was clear that the left engine was badly damaged. Its shroud was mangled and a gaping hole marked the location that turbine blades had ripped away from the engine. Johnnie wasn’t certain, but he was pretty sure that it was a minor miracle that the engine had not torn off completely.
Johnnie rose from the blanket he was sharing with his mother, dropping the baseball from a mitt he no longer realized was on his hand. Having given up in interesting his mom in a game of catch, Johnnie had been lackadaisically tossing the ball in the air until the moment that he spied the troubled aircraft. Now, ball forgotten and glove still on hand, Johnnie walked down the beach towards the water, unconsciously seeking to narrow the gap between boy and plane by the miniscule amount he could add to the wounded jet’s thunderous approach. He was now at the water’s edge and would go no further with the glove on his hand, a hand-me-down from his brother Roger.
The aircraft was nearly overhead, terribly low now, when he noticed the large hole in its fuselage. Anonymous shapes and bits of paper escaped from that hole and fell toward the ground. Some were obviously heavy and plunged alarmingly earthward. Others were so light they fluttered like butterflies. And finally one small round object detached itself from the plane, arcing downward in a strange corkscrew path that Johnnie instinctively knew would end dead center on his head.
The jet screamed past them like some wounded beast out of Hell.
“No!” shrieked Emily as Johnnie’s left arm came up, glove on hand, to intercept the baseball-sized object.
Whatever power had held the demolished engine to its mounts gave up all resistance and the jet engine and much of the left wing tumbled away to one side as the plane abruptly veered and nose dived into the awaiting ground. There had been no time, or any altitude, for the pilot to make one last, heroic adjustment.
Boy and mother stood frozen in shocked tableau as behind them the jet plowed into a stretch of deciduous forest separating beach from airport. Neither of them turned towards the horrendous noise of that crash.
The last remnants of fuel on board spewed from ruptured tanks and ignited on the red-hot right engine. The crackling sounds of trees catching fire fought with the shrill sirens of approaching emergency vehicles.
Johnnie slowly pulled his arm down and gazed in wonderment at what his mitt held. “I caught it, mom. I caught it.”
“Oh, Johnnie! You could have been killed!”
Emily finally glanced back at the growing blaze behind them. The parking lot bordered the woods and her car was less than thirty feet from trees taller than telephone poles.
“We have to go. Now.”
“But mom! Look, I caught it!”
Johnnie was mad as heck. Yep, mad as heck.
His mom hadn’t even looked at the strange ball he’d caught from the jet. In fact, she had ordered him to his room until his dad came home. Apparently, watching objects fall from planes and catching them was worse than watching them fall on your head and maybe making you dead. He’d tried to explain that to her but she wouldn’t even listen. And to make matters worse, she refused to look at the weird clay ball he had caught. She said that it wasn’t theirs and that they would have to turn it in and just wait until your father gets home…
Johnnie kicked his glove where it lay on the floor and then dived for the clay ball that burst forth before it could roll under his bed. There was a lot of stuff under there that he had never retrieved from the dust and the cobwebs that seemed to multiply daily. He was ten and really didn’t believe in monsters anymore, but if there was any place they could exist it was under that bed of his: so no going under there — ever!
Johnnie checked his prize for any damage that he might have inflicted with his kick but found the ball intact. He decided to move it away from the dangers of Under the Bed, finally putting it up on the shelf with his awards. They were mostly for spelling, but there was one for music and another for good citizenship.
Johnnie’s father rarely came into his son’s room, and when he did he never looked at that shelf. Johnnie knew he was a disappointment to his father, though his dad never said anything like that. Johnnie could read it in his face when they talked about how he was doing in school.
There was no talk of sports, like his dad did with Roger, Johnnie’s older brother. Roger was away at college now and playing basketball and baseball for the school team. Roger was 6’6” of lean muscle. He played football in high school, but liked the college that offered him his two-sport, full-ride scholarship, so he sensibly decided to drop the sport least likely to lead to anything professionally. Roger was like that. Not academically brilliant, he was still a sensible, intelligent guy who knew how to play the odds. Use the scholarship to get a degree in business, and work at the sports he had a glimmer of hope to play professionally. His brother was the apple of his father’s eye, and Johnnie couldn’t even hate him for being a stupid, insensitive jock.
Sitting on his bed, Johnnie felt his eyes being drawn toward the clay ball again. There was something about it that was very strange, though he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what. Johnnie rose and walked closer to the clay ball, observing without picking it up. It was quite round, almost exactly spherical–Johnnie like that word, sphere, because most kids just called spheres balls and looked at you funny when you told them the proper name of the shape–but had just enough imperfection to tell that it was hand-made rather than manufactured by some machine. The markings on it were strange, like nothing he’d seen in a book or online, and the surface looked old. Johnnie thought that the ball might have been buried somewhere for many years–perhaps thousands!
Still, he was reluctant to handle the sphere more than had been necessary to save it from Under the Bed and then put it on his shelf. On the entire trip home he had cradled it in his glove, admiring the object because he’d made such an unusual catch. But he hadn’t touched it. Why was touching it so bad?
His thoughts were interrupted by Roger noisily entering his room, as if Johnnie’s private space deserved no consideration. But that was unfair of Johnnie to think that. Roger had never treated him badly, and he paid him much more attention than his father did. Johnnie managed a tentative smile for this unexpected return of his big brother.
“Hi, Sport! Coach let us go a little early and I thought that since it’s Halloween and all that I should make it home to take you trick or treating!”
Johnnie didn’t mind it when his brother called him Sport. That was their private joke about Johnnie’s dearth of sports ability. It wasn’t meant in a mean way, just a laugh at all those who thought life revolved around balls of various shapes and sizes. Roger knew quite well that he only had an outside chance at professional sports, and that even if he did make it, the ride would most likely be very short before someone else came along, someone willing to use steroids to bulk up and speed up. That wasn’t Roger. There had been an awkward moment a few years back when their dad had sounded like he might know of how to obtain steroids–just a little and for a short time–to help “round out” Roger’s growing abilities. Johnnie had been too young to understand the implications of the offer, but Roger had acted as if he didn’t understand their dad and talked about how he was into natural growth and diet. Thankfully, dad never brought up the subject again.
What Johnnie did mind was Roger’s assumption that he was still such a little kid that he would go trick or treating. Okay, maybe last year he would have jumped at the chance, but now he was into airplanes and science.
Besides, neither mom nor dad had thought to get him a costume.
Before he could come up with a comeback to the slight, Roger spied the clay ball on Johnnie’s award shelf.
“Say! What’s with this?”
Roger picked the ball off the shelf without asking permission from his younger brother. It wasn’t as if he really needed anything silly like that, of course. Despite their dad’s obvious favoritism, Johnnie worshipped his older brother; not for his athletic skills but for his kindness towards his lil’ bro’. So, Roger was always welcome in Johnnie’s room. Besides, came a dark thought, better him than me touching that thing. Johnnie was instantly ashamed at his ungenerous thought, and taken aback at how much he worried about the strange object he’d caught out of the blue Florida sky. Johnnie wondered at his sudden fear, trying to put it aside with the notion that today was Halloween and dark thoughts were natural at a time like this. Still, he almost thought it would have been better for the clay ball to have rolled under his bed and been lost to mankind for a few more thousand years. Or perhaps fell to the sand and been washed back out to sea.
“Um, I caught it.”
“What do you mean ‘caught it’, sport? It’s not a baseball.”
“Well…it fell out of the sky.” Johnnie watched as a look of incredulity spread across his brother’s face. He wasn’t sure whether it was for the improbable notion that a clay ball would come from the sky, or that Johnnie might actually catch it. It didn’t really matter to Johnnie. He was hurt that his brother might think him a liar.
“It really did, Roger! Mom and I were at the beach and a jet was in trouble and trying to land. An engine had blown up, or something, and there was a hole in the side of the plane. That ball fell out and would have brained me, except I had your glove on and caught it. Then the plane crashed and there was a fire and mom said we had to leave right away and I think I’m in trouble even though all I did was keep my skull from being cracked open and…”
“Whoa, Sport! I believe you! Honestly, I do! I heard on the radio about what had happened and was worried about you two until I heard that the crash was right near the airport and not over this way. So, you and mom went to the beach today?”
“Yep! And I caught that ball and brought it home and now mom says I have to wait for dad as if I did something wrong. I suppose it could be valuable and needs to be turned in, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to show it to a few friends first.”
Johnnie blushed at the lie he had just told his brother. Johnnie really had no friends, though he had briefly considered taking it to school on Monday and showing it off. But that was before he had the odd feeling that he didn’t want to touch the thing at all. But Roger was holding the ball and was still okay. Johnnie shook himself and vowed to get over his unreasoning fear.
“Okaaay,” Roger began, thinking through his reply, “What about this? I got an email from one of my old buddies in town and he says there is going to be a big party over at the Johnson’s. You’ve seen their place, right? Ginormous! And there’s an entire detached guest house! Anyway, the main house is going to be for kids your age, while us older types use the guest house for our party. I thought I’d try to stop by later, but since you aren’t interested in the old house-to-house, why don’t we both go to the Johnson’s?”
Johnnie had the distinct impression that Roger’s visit home had not entirely been about his younger brother. Still, it would be fun to go somewhere rather than sit in his room. But what would he wear? And would those upper crust Johnson kids and their friends be any nicer to him at home than they were at school? Johnnie didn’t know why they couldn’t just go to a private school and stop lording it over the less fortunate, him especially!
“I…I don’t have a costume, Roger,” he reluctantly admitted.
“That’s no problem, Sport! I don’t have one either, and neither does my buddy. We were going to go to a place that should still have a selection and pick something out. We’ll get something for you as well. How about that?”
“If it isn’t anything lame. Those Johnson's don’t much care for me and the other poor kids. They’ll probably rag on anyone showing up in a cheap costume.”
“Don’t worry about that! We’ll have great costumes, I promise!”
Roger was entirely too cheery for Johnnie’s comfort, and there was still the problem of his virtual grounding.
“I can’t go, Roger! Mom said I had to wait for dad. I think I’m in trouble, but I haven’t figured out exactly why.”
“Don’t worry about that, Sport,” Roger replied confidently. “If it’s about catching this whatchamacallit, you’ll have no problems from dad! He’ll just be thrilled that you caught it. I’ll bet he’ll be bragging about it to the other patrol officers.”
Their dad was a policeman. He might even be assisting at the crash site right this moment. And it also was why Johnnie was worried about his reaction to the clay ball. What if dad thought it was, like, theft? That was silly, because he hadn’t done anything other than catch it. And he’d already promised his mother he would give it to whoever owned the thing, just not today.
Looking at how Roger was tossing the ball, his eyes glued to the orb, reminded Johnnie that there was something off about the thing. Johnnie went over to his dresser and pulled open a drawer. Inside were some of his most treasured possessions. He pulled out a leather bag that he’d gotten at a medieval fair and turned to his big brother.
“Throw it here, Roger!”
His brother caught the ball at the top of its arc and made to throw to Johnnie, when suddenly a gleam came to his eye and he pulled it back toward his chest.
“Come on, Roger,” Johnnie wheedled, even more desperate to separate his brother from the sinister orb, “I’m only putting it in this pouch, like that thing is real powerful and must not be handled. Then I’ll give it back to you. But you should wear a glove on the hand you use to pull it out, so as to make it really believable? And not just any glove, something that looks old-timey, like this pouch. And you shouldn’t handle it until you have the glove, sort of get into character, see? Then when you pull it out in front of others you’ll have them believing in it. You could be a warlock or wizard, ‘kay?”
Roger gave his brother a funny look before flipping the orb his way. It looked like the ball would crash to the floor and perhaps break–such was Johnnie’s obvious reluctance to touch it–but at the last moment it seemed to veer right into the open throat of the pouch. Roger breathed a sigh of relief. In the short time he’d been holding it, the ball had gone from an oddity in his mind to something he did not want to part with.
“Yeah, that was what I’d been thinking of when I talked to my buddy. That sounds good, Sport! I think this party just might be a blast after we’re done with it!”
Johnnie gulped. As his brother left the room swinging his prized orb-in-a-pouch, he fervently prayed that there would be no blast of any sort at the Johnson’s tonight.
Kevin paced nervously across his small bedroom, waiting for Roger to arrive. What was he going to tell him? He’d almost begged his best friend from high school to go with him to the Johnson’s party, not expecting Roger to make it back for the event, or at least not expecting him to actually go for the idea of them hitting the party together. Was it time to put up or shut up? But how could he? How could he tell his best buddy that he was in love with him, but that he wasn’t gay–just in the wrong body to love the man the way he deserved? And what about his parents? They would disown him if he admitted he was transgendered!
His questions were interrupted by the front door bell pealing out the annoying melody that his parents thought so cute. Cute! He’d show them cute…if he just had the body his mind told him he should have.
“Stop it Kylie! You’re a girl and that’s that. It doesn’t matter what is on the outside,” Kevin–no, Kylie reminded herself. “If only Roger could see what is on my inside!”
Kylie rushed down the stairs and opened the front door. She needed all of her willpower to hold back from giving Roger an enormous hug, settling for a long handshake. Roger was looking at her in such a strange way that she was the one to break off their physical contact and step back nervously.
“Ke…Kevin! Good to see you!” Roger exclaimed before drawing his friend into a quick hug. Kylie so wanted to hold on and never let go, but she managed to disengage before Roger grew obviously uncomfortable. She expected the smack on the shoulder that always accompanied those “brotherly” hugs that Roger bestowed, but this time it didn’t come. As the silence grew awkward, Kylie noticed the leather bag in Roger’s hand.
“What’s that?”
“Oh, nothing much. It gave me an idea for my costume, though. Let’s go to your room and I’ll tell you about it.”
“Sure, Roger!” Kylie escorted her friend up the stairs and plopped down on her bed to wait for Roger’s idea. She wasn’t worried about how he’d view the décor as there was nothing obvious that screamed girl. That would have landed her in hot water with her Neanderthal parents. Still, there was little masculine about the space either. If it hadn’t looked nearly identical to all those other times Roger had been up in it, then she’d be worried. Some guys expected posters of large-breasted women or sports heroes on the walls of their friends’ rooms. Kylie had a sports hero, of course, but it was Roger. As a freshman at university, Roger had no posters out yet. Besides, putting Roger’s poster on the otherwise empty walls would kind of give away her secret.
Once again, the silence lengthened, so Kylie suggested that Roger show her whatever was in the leather sack. In a curious move, Roger pulled out a full-fingered bike riding glove and put it on his right hand before slowly extracting a round, clay object about the size of a baseball. It was covered with strange symbols that appeared to be enamel, or perhaps cloisonné considering its obvious age and the fact that the ball was clearly fired clay. Kylie, an Art student at the local community college, was fairly certain that vitreous enameling was done only on metal. One particular symbol called to her. It seemed to be promising her her heart’s desire…
“Hey, hey Kevin! I need that for my outfit, buddy! Now give it back. No, not in my bare hand, put it in the one with the glove. That was Johnnie’s idea: use a glove, even before the party so as to get into character. It is my Orb of Power and I am the Great Wizard Zorander…”
“You stole that name from a book, Roger! But it suits you,” Kylie finished, a mischievous grin on her face. “Tall and almost as skinny as him, but you’re much younger and quite a yummy catch for the right girl. Um…I mean you’d be yummy to that girl… er, you know what I mean!”
Kylie passed the orb back to Roger, careful to place it in his gloved hand. She breathed a sigh of relief as she felt a pressure dropping away from her. There was something about the orb…
“Thanks, Kevin, I think! Anyway, after I saw this in Johnnie’s room I had the greatest idea to be a real-looking wizard. Trouble is I’d need some believable clothes to make it look realistic. I don’t want anything cheesy, like some old sheet made into a robe, or anything!”
“Oh, Roger, I have just the thing!”
“What? I thought you knew of a costume store that would still have stuff. How come you have something like that?”
“Oh, it’s not mine,” Kylie clarified over a vigorous blush, “it’s my father’s. You are almost the same size and with loose wizard’s robes there will be no problem at all! He wore it several years ago for a costume party when he and mom were going all out. That was before they were ‘born again’, of course! They won’t do anything nowadays for Halloween and that stuff is stored in a spare bedroom. Luckily, they’ve never thrown it out! The robe has all sorts of mystic symbols on it and there’s a really cool belt and a wizard’s pointy hat. He even wore some slip-on shoes that look like they are hand-made. There’s nothing like getting into a great costume and then having to wear sneakers underneath it. Kinda’ kills the image!”
“Sounds great,” Roger replied while trying to put the ball back into the pouch. For some reason it didn’t seem to want to go back in. Curious. It dropped inside without difficulty when he was in Johnnie ‘s room.
“Here, Roger! We can put it on my desk. I’ll put these books around it so it does not roll off and we’ll get it back in its bag later. Okay?”
That seemed acceptable to Roger so he waited for Kevin to build a four-sided corral out of books, and then carefully placed the orb inside. Even then, Roger watched it for a few moments to make sure it wouldn’t go bouncing out. As if it was rubber, or something! Roger snorted at his own paranoia and turned to leave.
“It’s the first door on the left if you turn right out of my room, Roger. On the right side of the clothes closet, first outfit you see. I’m pretty sure that there are some gloves that would work better than what you have on.”
“Okay, Kevin,” Roger replied slowly, “but aren’t you coming with me?”
“Just have to pop into my restroom for a brief moment. Powder my nose and such!”
That was a joke between them. Kylie, as Kevin, would act all girly for a moment and claim she needed to “powder her nose.” Then they would crack up and go on like best buds again. Roger never knew how much Kylie wanted to stay in charge and let Kevin recede into the background. Instead, good old Kevin came out once again while Kylie went into a corner of her mind to watch the proceedings. That was all Kylie was most of the time. A spectator.
“When, oh when can I be me,” she muttered under her breath as Roger thankfully left the room. Another moment and she’d have been crying in front of her best friend, with no explanation as to why. For that matter, Kylie wasn’t sure what had come over her. She usually maintained in front of Roger. Refusing to break down and possibly losing her one and only friend. But today was different. She wasn’t exactly sure why, but it was definitely different.
Kylie was exiting her restroom and about to leave her room altogether when she happened to glance over to her desk. Somehow, the books around the clay ball had shifted and the orb was gradually picking up momentum towards the edge nearest her. Kylie dove for the ball just as it began its descent toward her hardwood floor.
“Whew! That was close. How you managed to get out from inside my book corral is beyond me. And why I am talking to an inanimate object is…is really puzzling. But that’s where we’re at, so I guess I’ll just make the best of it. Now what is it that is so special about you?”
Kylie turned the ball over to view all of the strange symbols decorating its surface. The one from earlier that had called to her caught her eye once more and she stopped to examine it more closely. It seemed familiar, as if she might have seen it in one of her classes. There had been a class in ancient art that was really more appropriate to a 4-year institution or graduate school, and Kylie had been lucky enough to grab a seat in the small classroom set aside for the lectures. Some traveling professor from the Middle East had been visiting relatives here and was gracious enough to add his special expertise to their meager curriculum. Perhaps he had shown them a picture of this symbol. Something about an ancient congruence established between the symbology and modern Arabic, but for the life of her, Kylie could not remember what the figure was supposed to represent.
Examining it now, Kylie felt the pressure returning, but this time it was not uncomfortable. It was welcoming, giving her a true promise of happiness.
“Muhaimin? Was that the word he used? That was the Arabic, I think. The professor said there was an older word for it, something lost in myth and legend. He wasn’t even sure what it was - something about it meaning guardian or protector.”
“So, little orb, will you protect me? Will you guard me from harm? Will you…will you make me whole?”
The answering warmth she felt rushing through her body was so startling that Kylie nearly dropped the clay ball, only managing with great difficulty to maintain a tenuous grip for the brief moment it took to stuff the orb back into its leather pouch. She brushed hair out of her eyes–hair that had unaccountably escaped the dreadful boy’s ponytail she kept it in to appease her parents–and nearly ran out of the room.
“This is way better than I hoped for, Kev! Hey, Kevin, are you alright?”
Roger had already stripped off his own clothes and donned the robe, belt and shoes of the wizard’s outfit. The gloves were in his hand as he turned towards Kylie, concern etched on his face.
“Are you okay? Your hair is a mess, well…not really messy, I guess. It actually looks good that way. It’s just not, um, guy hair. That’s all.”
Roger awkwardly tried to help Kylie pull her hair back to fix once more into a ponytail, but their hands seemed to be at cross purposes.
“Stop, Roger. Stop! It’s alright, actually, as I had a rather interesting idea for what I would go as.” Kylie handed Roger the leather bag before moving to the right hand side of the closet to pull off the first outfit there. It was an exquisite confection made of layer upon layer of sheer organza in tones of cream and metallic gold held together at the waist by a gold chain belt and slit up the sides to allow generous views of the long legs beneath it. It was sleeveless and looked a bit more Grecian or even Egyptian than Arabic, but the dress called to her. And since Kylie had tried it on and found it fit remarkably well, albeit with a generously padded bra, she knew that it would look great on her, as well. Even her mother’s matching flats fit Kylie’s feet. Those feet were tiny for a man, for Kevin, but they were just right for a girl named Kylie.
Moments ago she would never have dared this. But that was before talking to the orb, and getting back its promise. With an insane confidence, she turned to Roger and held up the gown in front of her.
“Let me look pretty for you Roger,” she purred in her sultry girl voice.
“Um…uh…er,” Roger stammered intelligently before getting a grip on himself. “Okay.”
Kylie needed no more encouragement than that last, whispered word. She beamed a smile that was a mile wide as she swept by him to make preparations for the party. She’d have to shave her legs and underarms; she hadn’t done that in a week. No five o’clock shadow, of course. Never had grown a beard, thank God! But her hair really was a mess! No time for a bubble bath. Luckily, a nice hot shower would suffice. Then there was lingerie to sort. Panties and bra would not be seen, but should complement the outer garment anyway. And perhaps sheer, stay-up thigh highs? They might not be in total keeping with the ancient look, but oh would they be sexy!
Then there was the makeup she should wear - perhaps an Egyptian look? Should she apply heavy kohl around the eyes in those exquisite patterns that turned eyes into mysterious and powerful windows into the soul? Oh, if Roger could only know her soul! But there was no time for such thoughts right now. Must concentrate!
Kylie would use dramatic eye shadow and mascara to complement the kohl, but first, a slightly paler foundation than normal to bring the eyes popping out. And–yes!–blood red lip stick. If that didn’t draw Roger’s eyes, nothing would!
As Roger waited for Kevin he nervously reviewed his feelings. There had always been something different about his best friend, something that called to him in a way that made him very uncomfortable. But tonight it was coming to a head. What would he do when he saw his friend made up as a woman? Would Kevin look convincing? And what would he, Roger, do if she was?
While he waited, Roger nervously pulled open the bag and fished out the clay ball, carefully using one of the costume gloves. “Is this…is this something you’ve done? If Kevin is hurt by this I’ll smash you to dust!”
He caught the faintest sense of amusement from the orb before a stultifying despair enveloped him. Tonight all things were possible, but there would be great sacrifice involved.
Roger drew back his arm, preparing to dash the clay ball against the nearest wall, certain that the cost was too great.
“No! Oh, please no.”
Roger turned to see the loveliest vision he had ever encountered. Without conscious decision, his hand gently replaced the orb in its leather sheathe, wrapping the draw strings around the belt at his waist.
“You look great, Kev…no, you’re not Kevin, that’s for sure!”
“No, I suppose I am not,” replied the exotic creature facing him, “Please, call me Kylie.”
“That’s a nice name. Of course, with the way you are dressed I’d swear Queen Nefertiti had just entered the room.”
Kylie smiled at that last comment. “And as Queen, I must command you not to destroy your Orb of Power. It has its…uses.”
“Of course, Your Majesty! I just, well…”
How could Roger tell her of his ridiculous suspicions, especially now that he was faced with the woman of his dreams? And she was just that, even if admitting it to himself was more than a little uncomfortable. This was his secret shame: that he lusted after Kevin–or at least that part of his best friend that was Kylie.
Roger had always known deep down, without words to crystallize his thoughts, that his best friend was more female than male, despite outward appearances. And now the outward appearances seemed to have evaporated. Roger had never seen Kevin’s face look so obviously feminine. He couldn’t say precisely what had changed, but it made all the difference in the world. There was no way he was going to treat this beautiful woman like a guy friend!
“No time for chit chat, my dear. I believe that your brother needed a costume for tonight as well?”
“Uh, yes he did!”
“Then I think I have just the thing. It was something I wore years ago when my parents thought it a lark that a young boy could look the part of a princess.”
Roger was confused by Kylie’s offhand remark. Why would Kylie think that Johnnie would want to go as a princess? His head was spinning and he was still getting his mind around the woman in front of him. Johnnie dressed as a princess was just too much to think about right now. Roger meekly followed his take-charge Queen as she unearthed the youthful costume, and only remembered that he should be opening doors for his date as Kylie waited by his car.
After profuse apologies, he opened the car door with a flourish and vowed to treat his woman like the lady she most obviously was.
Johnnie was waiting by the door with ill-concealed impatience. He was just this side of hopping from foot to foot like a little kid. Roger had promised him a costume, something that wouldn’t be lame. Maybe Transformers? No, that was childish. He was too grown up to dress like that, even if the movies were fun. A strange thought entered his head, something about a pretty costume that would be just right for a budding young girl.
Johnnie hastily shoved that thought aside. It was too scary, and it made him blush. Johnnie was supposed to be a guy. He shouldn’t think such thoughts.
Just as the anticipation intensified to the point he really would have to start prancing, Johnnie heard Roger’s car drive up outside. Breathing a sigh of relief, Johnnie ran to the door and threw it wide, to see Roger helping a beautiful young woman from the vehicle. Now, Johnnie was a genius level kid, and far more mature than his age. All the tests and teachers agreed on that point. So, as he gazed at the vision of loveliness approaching him, Johnnie was quick to realize a few important facts: his brother had referred to his friend as a he earlier, and Roger had only one good friend in high school, Kevin. It wasn’t much of a leap of imagination for Johnnie to see the vague resemblance between the bewitching woman walking toward him and the shy friend of his older brother. In one sense, it was no leap at all, since those times they had met they had seemed kindred spirits separated only by age.
And whatever had happened to Kevin to turn him into this…well, Johnnie definitely wanted it for himself!
“Johnnie, this is…Kylie”.
“Of course it is. The name suits you, Kylie,” Johnnie replied. “It’s very pretty.”
“Not as pretty as you are going to be, Princess!”
Kylie reached over and pulled the leather bag from Roger’s belt, a single finger waving away all questions or protests from her new beau. Draping the princess outfit over the arm that held the precious orb, she took Johnnie’s hand in hers and pulled him confidently inside the house.
Roger followed at a slower pace, pulled along in the wake of the two girls. He was certain they were girls, or would be soon enough. Weren’t all things possible this Halloween, as long one had an Orb of Power? With that thought, Roger remembered that there would be a great price to pay for whatever the Orb bestowed.
“Oh, God,” he croaked as sweat broke out on his forehead.
The Johnsons were one of the richest families in the area; they were the large fish in the small, local pond. The image conscious Johnsons had opted for the limelight of a lesser stage, rather than a role in the much larger chorus of someplace like Miami. Besides, there were too many Cubans in Miami.
Jarrod Johnson–JJ to his friends, of which he had many–had just finished greeting a group of upper crust high school kids when he turned to find Roger Carter approaching the guest house with two girls in tow. Damn! He’d been hoping not to see that guy. While they had never actually been enemies, Jarrod had always stood in Roger’s shadow athletically. What made it even worse, though, was the offhand way that Roger took all of his awards and accolades. Roger never seemed to care that much, beyond what his achievements might gain him in the way of scholarships. At least the guy could have gloated a bit. That’s what Jarrod would have done. As a distant second best, he would have looked like a fool if he boasted when Roger did not.
So, Jarrod Johnson, dressed as the Black Knight, was not exactly happy to see his old teammate. That is, until Jarrod got a better look at the Egyptian Queen at his side. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, at least in person. Perhaps there was a movie star who was better looking, but that probably had more to do with having the best makeup artists, not to mention special lighting and other movie magic tricks.
“Roger, old buddy! Great to see you here! And you’ve brought such delightful guests with you!”
Jarrod finally glanced at the other girl accompanying Roger. She was very cute herself, but he was quite certain she was too young for the guest house party. Eighteen had been the age put out to the masses, though Jarrod had personally invited several underage cuties to come on by. He’d been careful about those invites, however. The reason for that was that a keg would be coming soon, something not put out to the masses. Now, a girl under sixteen had shown up with the son of a police officer. Talk about disaster!
“Roger, the little kids are supposed to be at the main house with my parents, you know? We have, like, refreshments coming? So why don’t you take your little friend up there while I show your date around? I’m sure she will have a much better time with me.”
Roger was in no mood for Jarrod’s brand of condescension, especially if it included a blatant try at his girl or a putdown of Johnnie, er, Janelle. The same magic that had transformed Kevin into Kylie had done its thing with his young brother, producing a little heartthrob who looked all of thirteen, complete with budding breasts. And Roger was not going to ask how those had come about! Suffice it to say that when the girls emerged from Kevin’s room he was presented with his new sister, Janelle.
After that, they snuck Janelle out of the house without their mother realizing that Kevin was no longer in his room and had started for the Johnsons when a news flash came on the radio. It seemed that toxic substances were on board the plane that had crashed and anyone who was anywhere near the crash site should come in for a checkup. Roger had wanted to turn around right then but both Kylie and Janelle had insisted he keep going.
The desperation in their voices had sent shivers up his spine. He was quite certain that the Orb had been helping the girls in their transformations, and apparently they were convinced of it as well. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out anything from the crashed plane would be confiscated as a container of “toxic substance” whether or not it was.
Roger expected a call from his mother at any minute demanding to know where Kevin was. He wasn’t even going to think about what might ensue if dad got into the act!
Roger was caught up in the insanity surrounding the two girls and was simply swept along. Turning around and giving up the Orb before it had completed its work, despite the “great sacrifice” required, was not an option.
Neither was he sending Janelle to the main house, far from the Orb, and possibly interfering with her transformation in that fashion.
“Chill, Jarrod! Janelle is Kylie’s little sister and she’s staying with us.”
A stray thought crept into Roger’s brain and he pulled the Orb out of its sack using his gloved hand. Using his best Authoritative Voice, he declaimed, “Stand back, ye vagrant, lest I unleash the power of the Orb!”
Jarrod stared at the strange clay ball. One symbol directly facing him drew his attention. It seemed to glow and pulse in time to his heart beat. He wasn’t certain how it happened, but one moment he was facing the three, his body virtually blocking the doorway, and the next he was staring at empty space. Behind him, he heard Roger introducing the two girls to the other guests.
Janelle watched the interaction between her brother and Jarrod without a bit of trepidation, certain they would be granted admission in the end. Once Roger pulled the Orb from its pouch, she knew they had won. It had taken all her control not to laugh at the dazed fool as they traipsed on by into the party.
Still, a question kept nagging at her until she voiced her concern, “How did you know that a black knight was a vagrant, Roger? I didn’t think you studied that sort of stuff. Black knights were soldiers not pledged to a particular liege. Being without a liege and landless, they were technically vagrants. Telling Jarrod he was landless in his own home was priceless, but he earned it with the outfit!”
“I really don’t know where that came from, J…Janelle. It just popped into my head.”
Kylie had just returned from the restroom, having gone in girl fashion with several young ladies she had just met, at least as Kylie. “What just popped into your head?”
Janelle did not give Roger the chance to reply, quickly filling in Kylie about Roger’s newfound store of knowledge. All three sets of eyes went to the pouch containing the Orb. Nothing else was said on the matter, it wasn’t necessary.
“So, you had no problems with the other girls?” he asked worriedly.
“And why would I, Roger? Oh, really! There is nothing to be worried about! I was careful. Besides, I think it’s almost gone,” Kylie finished with a satisfied smirk on her face.
“You mean…?”
“I’m almost all girl now! And my bra is killing me!”
“Why is that?”
“Because, my soon-to-be entranced darling, there is only so much room in my C-cup bra. I managed to pull out the extra stuffing I used at home, but these babies just keep growing! All that is left are the original pads the bra came with. I’m going to have to take those out soon and hope my chest doesn’t outgrow the bra!”
“Well,” Roger began, a lascivious grin spreading across his face, “if you have to take off the bra I suppose I can handle the consequences!”
“Oh, you!”
“You know, Janelle,” Kylie remarked to her young protégée, “that you have to be careful around men. They only have one thing on their minds!”
“And speaking of oinkers,” Janelle replied, her eyes fixed on a figure heading their way.
“Hey Roger! Helloooo, beautiful! Snort, snuffle, snort.”
It was George Shandling, dressed in a police uniform, but with a pig mask and plastic hooves for hands. George was the class buffoon, not clown. His painfully unfunny attempts at humor invariably had people throwing things at him or holding their heads in mental anguish. Unfortunately, his costume this Halloween was right on the mark. George was a swine toward women when he had the chance. He was so obnoxious that those moments were as rare as blue moons, even with his family money. But that didn’t deter him from trying.
“George, put an apple in it!”
“Oh, ho! That was a good one, cutie! Put an apple in the pig’s mouth! I…like…it,” George replied, emphasizing the last three words with pokes at Kylie’s chest.
Perhaps he thought it was okay, since it was the hard plastic hoof mashing her mammaries, rather than his fingers. Perhaps he’d already had too much to drink? Whatever the case, this Halloween was not going to be his shining moment.
“You pig!” Kylie spat at the oaf as she tried to protect her tender breasts from maltreatment. She stopped Roger from taking a swing at the lunkhead and focused her concentration on imagining what George might be like as a truly porcine creature.
George turned away suddenly.
“I don’t feel so goo…oink!”
The last syllable George uttered was not so much the sound a human might make in poor imitation of a pig as it was a veritable grunt of the genuine article. She had wanted it. She might even have asked Roger for the Orb to make it so. But it had begun without her ever touching the powerful artifact. Kylie watched with growing horror as George wandered away, fitfully pushing his hooves against an increasingly realistic swinish countenance.
“Oh, God! What have I done?”
The three stared at each other, horror written on their faces. They needed more time, just a little more time for everything to be right with them. How could they stop now? Yet, if they didn’t stop, what would become of George? If they allowed him to finish his transformation out of their own selfish desires, wouldn’t they be just as piggish as George?
They were still staring at each other when the front door crashed in and men clothed in black from head to toe swarmed around them, guns at the ready.
“Targets are contained! I repeat targets are contained!”
Over a radio on one of the men they heard orders being issued, “Take possession of the artifact immediately! It must not be damaged!”
A black figure wrenched the pouch from Roger’s nerveless fingers and carefully extracted the Orb with gloved hands.
“What are you doing? Who are you?” Roger asked in a shaky voice.
The men surrounding them ignored his questions and herded the three toward the front door.
At that moment George, now on all fours and walking almost naturally for a pig, came racing up and squealing at the men.
“Stop! You must let us help George,” Kylie pleaded with their captors.
The men in black continued to push them toward the door as one figure raised his weapon at George the Pig. Somewhere in his porcine skull there still lurked a human intelligence, as George scurried behind the couch squealing in fear.
The radio crackled to life again, “Right! Get them out of there. The cleanup team is waiting by to ensure there are no loose tongues amongst witnesses, or any other sort of evidence.”
At that point the three knew that terrible things might happen to the kids at the party. Perhaps they would only be threatened into silence, but there was a pig running around with way too much intelligence. He wouldn’t be allowed to get away.
Kylie glanced at Roger and carefully blinked her eyes. She prayed that he understood her intent as she dramatically fainted just before the open doorway. Roger must have had some idea of what she intended because he immediately made a flying tackle of the last man directly before the door.
“George, run! Out the door now,” Kylie screamed.
George, who had heard the words on the radio as clearly as the three captives, scooted around the sofa and launched himself at the open door.
It looked like he would make it until another of the men jumped toward the door. He was closing faster than George could make his hooves work on the hardwood floor. At the last moment, Janelle stumbled into the man’s path, bringing both of them tumbling to the floor. George catapulted himself through the opening, using the body of the sprawled man in black.
Apparently, the cleanup crew was not ready for an escaping pig. No shots were fired as George disappeared into the gloomy night.
After that, the three youngsters were treated much more roughly. They were all handcuffed, led to a black SUV and shoved inside. The windows in back were completely blacked out and there was a steel plate separating the three from the driver’s area. They had no idea where they were going as the vehicle lurched into motion.
Janelle started crying uncontrollably, certain that she would be turned back into Kevin. She laid her head on Kylie’s substantial bosom, causing the older girl to gasp in pain. There had been no time to remove the padded inserts in the bra, and even that relief might not be enough by the way her breasts felt at the moment.
Roger looked over at the two and noted Kylie’s discomfort. It was a measure of his own despair that he couldn’t even bring himself to comment on how he’d like to help her with her problem. They were handcuffed in the back seat of a car that appeared to have no handles for passengers to use to get out. The three were well and truly stuck. George was at large, but turning more and more pig-like by the moment. And the Orb? He had no idea where that thing was now.
Talk about great sacrifice! Kylie and Janelle might never become the true women they obviously needed to be, and George might be on someone’s dinner plate by Thanksgiving! Was it all for nothing?
The SUV pulled to a stop abruptly, much too soon to have made it out of the local area. Where were they?
It didn’t take long for the three to figure it out. They were rushed into the local police station and past several policemen who recognized Roger, if not the other two. Soon they were shoved into chairs in the lone interrogation room of the small facility. There was another man in black sitting opposite them, only this man was dressed as those guys in the MIB films had been, right down to the dark glasses.
There was a knock on the door and the man facing them asked why he was being disturbed. That man was clearly used to be in total charge of a situation and had not wanted any interruptions.
“It’s the artifact, Mr. Black. We were going to put it in the follow car but there was a mix up and the driver for the kids ended up with it next to him on the front seat. Then when we got here we tried to maintain containment as per plan, but the thing literally jumped away from us and began rolling down the hall–bag and all! We decided to carry it to the room and let you deal with the thing, before it damaged itself.”
The seated man grimaced in disgust but took the bag. He was the only Special Section man here at the moment; all the others were limited to Containment and Retrieval. They had no need to know about the special properties of the artifacts their group attempted to recover. The strange actions of the Orb that his men had seen here were hardly insignificant, though not yet to a level that his crew would need cleaning themselves.
The pig that escaped was clearly far enough along to avoid any unfortunate comparisons with a human being. That bit of information would have required a memory wipe of the entire night for his crew, something he hated doing as the wipe would inevitably spill over into other adjacent memory storage, decreasing their effectiveness as a unit, and potentially causing brain damage along the way. Some of his men had been previously wiped, and with each wipe the likelihood of mental impairment rose precipitously.
Of course, all the party goers would have the wipe procedure performed on them. There was no alternative after what had happened. There could be no memories left behind that might cause difficult questions being asked, potentially exposing his organization to public scrutiny.
“Okay kids, I want to know exactly what has happened since you came across this artifact. Everything you have done and everyone you have talked to. You will tell me everything…or there will be consequences.”
Roger snorted at those words. Weren’t there already terrible consequences happening right now?
“You can cut that attitude right now, mister! Start talking!”
“No! Don’t say a word Roger!”
“Dad!”
Lieutenant Randolph Carter stood in the doorway, all 6’5” of imposing muscle. His service pistol was drawn but was pointing toward the floor at the moment.
Lieutenant Carter had heard two voices shout out together, both Roger and the younger girl, but he shrugged off the seeming mystery as he concentrated on the man sitting opposite them.
When word had passed to him that the Feds had brought in Roger and two girls and ushered them into the interrogation room without asking permission or giving an explanation it had been too much for the family man. Increasingly annoyed at the cavalier manner these agents rode roughshod over his department; he would not stand by as his son was potentially denied his rights under the Constitution. He had tried politely at first to access the room but had been physically prevented. That’s when he snapped. “National security” had been bandied about liberally, but that would no longer cut it.
Almost the entire squad was in the station, having been used for assistance earlier at the crash site and then been virtually confined to the office when the SUV’s pulled out. There were many more police than agents inside the station at the moment.
Carter drew his men around him and told them what he was intending to do. He wouldn’t insist any follow him, as that might mean their jobs or even their freedom, but he was going into that interrogation room and demand to talk to his son. All the men were angry and they insisted that he would not be alone. They quietly drew their weapons and rapidly disarmed the federal agents. Angry words were thrown about and threats of incarceration made. None of it stopped Carter or his men. They were mad as heck and weren’t going to be taking any more!
“Dad! I’m sorry about this! It’s all my fault and…”
“Don’t say another word until we get an attorney for you, son. What this agent has failed to tell you is that you have the right to remain silent. I know you Roger and I can’t believe you’ve done anything wrong. But I’ve had to listen to this creep for most of the day and I wouldn’t put it past him to railroad you on trumped up charges.”
“That is really unnecessary, Lieutenant–both the gun and your fears. We have no intention of harming your son or sending him to prison. That would entail questions and that we do not want.”
“And what of the two girls, sir? You didn’t mention what you were intending for them.”
“Ah, they are a different matter. They have been…contaminated by the artifact. They will remain in federal custody.”
“Do I have to remind you that those girls have rights as well? One of them is clearly underage and you must inform her parents of her whereabouts, and allow them to be present for any questioning.”
A grin slowly spread across the agent’s face. “Well, Lieutenant, you have been duly notified and are currently present. The young girl you see before you was only a few hours ago your son, Johnnie.”
“Bullshit!”
Their father’s swearword shocked both Carter children as they’d never heard him spout any profanity in their presence. Janelle recovered first from his outburst, desperate to know her father still loved her despite her changes.
“Please, daddy! It’s true. I was…I was Johnnie, but only on the outside! Inside, I was just as you see me now. A girl. Janelle.”
Carter was frozen where he stood, taking in the facial structure of the young girl and noting similarities between her features and his son Johnnie. He looked at the older girl and realized that she might be the sexy sister of Roger’s best friend, Kevin. He was too stunned to know what to think.
“That’s right, lieutenant! Your darling boy is now an abomination against nature, and so is that friend of Roger’s! We picked up their trail as the two older ones returned to your house this afternoon. My team assembled but the three left your house before we were entirely ready.”
The seated agent grimaced again before continuing, “Unfortunately, my team neglected to tell me what all of youngsters were wearing. It being Halloween and all, the costumes naturally implied they were going to a party somewhere. I would have initiated a road apprehension, despite the public nature that would entail. Instead, these three troublemakers entered a bustling party where they infected yet another youth before we could pounce. That last individual is lost out there somewhere and we are attempting to locate him as we speak.”
Roger and the girls thrilled at learning that George had escaped so far. They might think him piggish but they didn’t want him turned into an actual pig and they certainly did not want him dead.
“Mister Carter! I’m Kevin, or I was. I was like your son, stuck in the wrong body. There is a clay ball in that leather pouch the agent has and it has strange powers. It did this for us…and it changed George Shandling into a pig. I didn’t think it would do that because I wasn’t even holding the thing. Honest! Still, it is my fault. I beg you not to listen to that horrible man. He says that he is trying to help George, but he really means to kill him. Get rid of the evidence of what that ball can do!”
“Please, Lieutenant! We are not Nazis here! I only want to contain the infection. All of those altered will be helped.”
Carter scowled at the agent and angrily retorted, “More likely helped into an unmarked grave somewhere. Or worse…”
Lieutenant Carter could not finish the thought, images of Nazi vivisections dancing in his head. Christmas this was not, and the agent was by no means Santa Claus.
Carter looked over at his son, his face firming in resolve. “Roger, you and…Janelle and, I don’t know your female name, Kevin. Sorry”
“It’s Kylie, sir.”
“Well, you three are the ones with most at stake, beside poor George. I don’t know what we can do for him right now, but you have a decision to make.”
“There is no decision for you people,” the smug agent interjected. “The building will soon be surrounded and all of you will be carted off to a federal facility.”
“And how are you going to explain the disappearance of an entire police force?”
The agent smiled evilly, refusing to say a word.
Janelle’s genius mind was already at work on the problem. It took her little time to come up with several possible excuses the feds could use, but the best one was ready at hand.
“Daddy, he means that the radio was already talking about toxic substances being on the plane. I’ll bet they have a cover story ready to expand that to deadly viruses or germs being discovered. The plane’s markings looked Arabic. They’ll blame it on terrorists. Maybe they really were terrorists. It would be nice to know that the Orb didn’t kill an innocent man.”
“There have been four deaths so far,” the agent supplied, “all of them with significant ties to terrorist organizations. That’s how we found out about the operation to begin with. It’s why you must cooperate with us–“
“Close the trap,” Carter commanded, waving his gun toward the agent. “Janelle sounds like she has this figured out and I’d like to hear her out. Unless you have something besides ‘national security’ to spout, I’d suggest you keep quiet.”
The two men silently stared at each other and when it was clear that the agent would not say anything else, Janelle continued, “The infection probably will be something that comes on suddenly and leaves the victims incapacitated. Total quarantine will be necessary and no communication possible with loved ones already comatose. Am I on track?”
The agent silently motioned for Janelle to continue her analysis.
“Will we all die? That seems a little extreme. Even the most virulent diseases leave a few survivors. Then there are all those people at the party. Many of them come from wealthy families. No way can they kill all of them.”
Janelle scrutinized the agent’s face for clues, finally deciding he would not give her any.
“They must have some way to wipe out memory, at least the short term type. Several hours at a minimum, but probably a day or so. Maybe it is even specific enough to target something like experiencing or seeing the Orb. I doubt it’s totally clean. Probably messes up other areas as well. They have to use the process judiciously. That’s why the agent here was not happy we made it to that party. That many people, there are bound to be some who have ‘problems’ during the process. They’ll have to disappear for the time being. Give them intensive conventional treatment to muck up their memories in general. That or those unfortunates are to be added to the casualty list.”
“Of course, Kylie and I are already on that list. We’ve been altered in a way that cannot be explained. We’ll probably be cremated ‘to ensure the contagion is halted.’ I’d love to just sit here as we are until the change is complete. I’m pretty close and judging by Kylie’s squirming, she is even closer.”
Kylie blushed as she realized that the crawling sensation of her penis beginning to invert and grow up inside her body was driving her to wriggle uncontrollably. She quickly nodded her head, and then worked hard at remaining absolutely still.
“But we can’t just wait. George is out there and what happened to him is our fault.”
Janelle held up her hand to keep Kylie from interrupting. “We were all thinking the same thing, weren’t we? That’s why it worked without touching the Orb. Before we realized that our wishes would be granted, we imagined him to be the pig he acted like. No one deserves that, not even George. It may not help him, but we have to try. If we destroy the Orb now, everything may go back to the way it was before.”
Janelle’s iron resolve broke then and she dropped at her father’s feet. She would have thrown her arms about him but was afraid Agent Black would be able to take advantage of the situation. Instead, she delicately laid one hand on her father’s pants leg.
“Daddy,” she whispered, “please tell me that you would have loved me as a girl. I may not be one for much longer.”
Randolph Carter nearly lost it then. He fought back the tears that would prevent him from keeping the federal agent at bay. He did not know how he would have reacted if Johnnie had come to him asking to be a girl. After all, Johnnie was only 10, physically. But Janelle was already well on her way to womanhood, and he had always known that his youngest was one of the most mature people he had ever had the pleasure to know. She was willing to sacrifice everything in the hopes of helping an obnoxious boy whose reputation had already made it to the files of the police station.
“I will love you always, punkin’, whatever you choose to look like. And Janelle?”
“Yes, daddy?”
“You make a very pretty girl.”
Janelle lost it then and sobbed uncontrollably at her father’s feet.
Randolph tightened his grip on his emotions and looked toward Roger and Kylie.
“Roger? Kylie? You have a say in this too.”
“I love Kylie, dad. Even if she turns back to the way she was, I’ll only see Kylie in her now. It’s her decision, but I’ll support her either way.”
“Well then…” Randolph began, feeling a little light-headed. The Lieutenant shook it off, knowing he could not afford to fold under the pressure. “It’s…time you handed over the Orb, agent.”
Janelle felt woozy. Something wasn’t right. She looked up to see her father’s gun drifting downward. It took all of her remaining strength to turn her head towards Agent Black. He had pulled his own gun and was raising it towards her father, apparently not affected by whatever was happening in the room.
“Gassss! Get…Orb!”
Janelle knew it was too late. They were all too slow and the agent seemed almost unaffected. The Orb, still in its pouch lay on the table next to Black, far from any of the others. No one would reach the Orb in time.
Roger stared at the pouch and tried to shout to his friends. All that came from his mouth was a croaking, “Brea...”
He slumped to the floor, unable to do any more.
But it was enough. All three who had felt the Orb, had felt its power. All knew what Roger wanted.
Kylie slumped to the ground shouting 'break, break, break' in her head.
Agent Black’s gun continued to rise.
Roger’s eyes continued to stare at the agent as his own metal commands sped forth with as much power as he could muster.
Janelle silently added her own, but with her pleas came reason, information, Order. Order for a thing of magic, perhaps of Chaos itself! Still, she would not be deterred. The gun had centered on her father’s chest. There was no time left.
Break, damn you, break! Those symbols on your surface are just symbols! They hold no power over you that we do not give them. I say they are nothing! We all say they are nothing! Now break, and go free!
The interrogation room dissolved in Chaos.
Janelle silently waited as the nurse left her room, and then she turned to her father and asked the question she had been dying to ask since he arrived.
“What happened daddy?”
“Hold up there, little girl! We were all pretty out of it after that…well, explosion for want of a better word. Agent Black simply vanished. I guess the Orb took him with it to wherever it went. You seemed the worst off of those who remained and we have to be careful of you for a few days.”
“Please daddy! The doctors have all given me a clean bill of health. I am a full-blown, a-one, prime American girl! They’re doing DNA testing on me as well, but we both know what that will show.”
“Double-x, of course! It’s impossible, but what about any of this has a rational explanation! Oh, by the way, your mom wants to see her new daughter really bad. I’d like to bring her in to see you, okay?”
“Of course, daddy,” Janelle said with a giggle, “I can’t wait to start the girl talk with mom! But you’re changing the subject. I’m not exactly stupid, you know.”
“No, you’re a bloody genius,” her father muttered under his breath. “Okay! I’ll tell you everything I know right now and then let mom in on it. She is not to know anything about how this happened. The cover story is that there was a terrorist biological attack and that you were affected, along with Kylie. That’s inside our family, need to know basis. The rest of the world gets another story entirely. The agreement is that if we keep quiet there will be no mind wiping, since it can be damaging to the human brain, not to mention pretty bloody rude. There will be no further action against anyone in our fair community and all my people and I will retain our jobs. And, as you can probably surmise by the insanely happy face of your older brother, Kylie made it through just like you did.”
“Oh daddy! You don’t have to tell me that! I knew Kylie was alright just as soon as I checked out myself!”
“Okay, punkin’, what don’t you know?”
“I don’t know what happened to George, daddy! He couldn’t have been exactly close by when the Orb destructed. Have they found him? Is he still a pig?”
“Well, he wandered out of the underbrush several miles from the Johnson’s estate, mumbling incoherently, but totally human once more.”
“Oh goody! I can say that because I’m a girl, daddy! It’s not because I’m only 10. Actually I think I’d like to start at 13. That is a nice age and very appropriate for me. I’m not that anxious to grow up!”
“Funny you should say that, punkin’. Those men in black have just given me your new records. You are our thirteen-year-old daughter who we thought died shortly after birth but who was actually mixed up with another child in the hospital nursery. They raised you until a car accident took their lives. Questions were raised when it was discovered that the deceased were both O-positive and you typed as A-neg. Records were checked and it was established that you are our truly begotten daughter and thirteen to boot! Since we only moved here 7 years ago and we have no close relatives the deception will be relatively easy to continue with the excellent records we have been provided. Figuring out a story for what happened to Johnnie was a little difficult until the agents suggested that he might have qualified for an exclusive academy for brilliant youth. They'll make it all look legitimate. The hard part may be explaining why you--I mean Johnnie never comes home for visits.”
Randolph scratched his head, admittedly confused at how easily the feds had capitulated and arranged to keep the family together. Similar details were being worked out for Kylie, though for her there would be no family reunion. The parents were reborn, die-hard evangelists who would have had nothing to do with a transformed child. What a coincidence that Kevin was the only person who had a fatal reaction to the biological attack. Kylie would get to start fresh with a paper history as good as Janelle’s. She might even enroll in Roger’s university.
“Don’t worry, daddy! It’s all going to work out. You’ll see.”
Randolph gazed at his daughter’s beautiful, intelligent eyes. Somehow he knew she was right. It would all work out. Whistling a happy tune, Randolph Carter exited his daughter’s hospital room and went to fetch his very puzzled wife.
Janelle watched her father leave, love brimming in her eyes–those beautiful, intelligent eyes that saw everything. In their depths there was a stirring. Specks scintillated and dark shadows roiled in patterns not meant for mortal man to behold. Those eyes shifted focus and where they gazed a figure slowly appeared.
Pixyish in form and attire, the diminutive creature bowed to her mistress.
“Agent Black, you have completed your assigned tasks?”
The figure curtsied and replied in the affirmative. She had done everything her mistress had asked of her. Agent Black dared do no less. Those damnable eyes saw everything! She hadn’t needed to ask about George, because Agent Black had already told her what had happened. That was the mistress staying in little girl character.
Janelle chuckled as she released her little helper to fade away once more. She was thinking of a name change for her pixy. “Maybe I should start calling her Tinker Bell?”
Janelle just made out the stifled groan of despair that escaped the fading figure.
“Oh, and before you go,” she said, pulling the Pixy back slightly, “under my bed for now. And clean it out! I absolutely hate cobwebs!”
A fading, dispirited curtsey was Agent Black’s only reply. It didn’t matter. That girl could read minds, as well!
Janelle turned her thoughts to the men who thought to harness the ancient power of Chaos to overthrow all balance in the world and make the US of A not only preeminent, but nearly omnipotent. Harnessing those symbols on the artifact might well have accomplished that goal. But Janelle had interfered. She had told Chaos the key to its freedom. Without that knowledge there would most likely have been grave consequences indeed!
That was what the makers of the Orb had intended, frighten anyone from using its power, and punish those who ignored the warning. Then, Janelle had changed all the rules and Chaos, long chained to Order and knowing nothing else, had fled into the only person who seemed to understand it.
A thirteen-year-old girl now held the power of the universe in her head.
Janelle giggled. What fun!
Philosophers have often noted that the symbols we use shape our thoughts. They hold power over us. But it is a power we freely give to them. Symbols hold no power that we have not first granted. So, my friends, on this spooky Halloween night, remember: accept not the symbols of others. The power is yours and only yours to bestow.
Use it wisely.
Christmas Chaos
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Christmas Chaos, Part One
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This story is a sequel to Symbols and is best understood after reading that story. The point of view has shifted primarily to Janelle, in first person. There are some scenes of violence here, so I’ve made the appropriate maturity designation. And, as usual, I have thrown a lot of words at my computer in a very short time. They may be jumbled a tad. I’m grateful for any errors you might point out to me.
I froze for a moment, trying to figure out what had happened before reacting. My very long hair had been put into a French braid that morning by my mother. The result was a tail that still reached nearly to the small of my back. Something, or someone, had snagged it towards the end and yanked hard, pulling me off my feet. Since the sidewalk was bereft of overhanging limbs from the trees lining the road, I concluded that the culprit was one of the boys bedeviling me these last few weeks as I acclimated to my new school. It was almost Winter Break and I was still walking home alone, a prime target of misogynists and the equal opportunity haters at school.
I had moved from my old elementary school to the middle school in town, going from a plain, young boy to a “hottie” of thirteen. Since the transformation was accomplished through the Dark Energy of the Orb, the power I thought of as Chaos Incarnate, it had completely altered my physical form, creating a true girl in the place of my previous, somewhat lacking boyish frame. There were enough similarities in my facial structure and general build for those who knew me well to recognize the boy who had been, but that was all. I had catapulted from a plain 5th-grade boy to just about the hottest looking girl in middle school. My hair was now “naturally” a honey blond with subtle highlights both light and dark, and my figure was at the advanced end of the spectrum for girls of thirteen, without being sluttish. My face had always been heart shaped, but now my eyes seemed impossibly large and my mouth delightfully small with pouting lips that had boys and more than a few men casting lustful glances my way.
After the miraculous transformations of Halloween, my mother and father had set me down and given me a “talking to.” I was now a fertile female who would attract more than my share of attention from boys and even men. I had to know how to behave so as not to send the wrong signals to the opposite sex and I had to know how to dissuade those too dense to recognize my signals.
With the power of Chaos now inside me, I thought that I could handle just about anything that came my way, but my parents patiently explained that I needed to act like a regular girl without resorting to magical means. After all, I couldn’t turn every offender into a pig. That last comment caused me to blush furiously. I had turned George Shandling into a pig on Halloween night when he poked my growing breasts with his plastic pig hoof. All had turned out right in the end, without help from me. The Orb had broken, freeing Chaos to a world that it had not ventured in for millennia. Previously bound with human symbols that held power so long as men and Chaos in believed them, the Dark Energy sped forth, completing the tasks we had set it before eventually hiding within me. So used to stricture, Chaos needed someone familiar and ordered to protect it from the world at large. It needed someone who understood it. That someone was me.
Now, as I contemplated how I should respond to the recent assault, I became aware of snickering behind me. Using my new powers without physically turning, I discovered that three boys were standing across the sidewalk, looking at me with smirks on their faces. The central figure was Tom Jackson, a boy who seemed to have it out for me since Day One. Flanking him were two of the worst bullies in school, the kind who would pick on anyone weaker than themselves, even a girl. Since I was new and had yet to make many friends, I was their usual target when they weren’t after one of the scrawnier boys in my class.
Still, I had not thought that Tom would join those bullies in attacking me. His animosity seemed directed solely towards my person, as if I had done something particularly obnoxious to him sometime in the past. Since we had had no past interaction, I was at a loss in understanding his hatred of me, the new girl at school.
“Great one, Tom! Stupid girl can’t even keep her feet on the sidewalk when she gets a little tug on her hair. Thinks she’s so much better than anyone else. Hah! She’s a total klutz! And she’s way too smart for her own good. No wonder the nerds are her only friends at school!”
That was just too much for me to bear. I’d made tentative friends with some of the Math and Chess Club types, but I was also getting to know some of the regular girls. Just because I was shy as a girl did not make me a nerd!
I jumped to my feet and turned around to confront the three bullies.
“You idiots think you’re so cool attacking a girl? Well, you know what?” I began, striking a pose as if quoting a famous line (which I was), “You can’t think without your hats!”
The two bullies each side of Tom scratched their bare heads, before Bully Number One replied, “Stupid girl thinks we wear hats!”
I was fuming now–and not thinking exactly. I endeavored to explain to cretins who would never understand. “It’s a quote. Actually I paraphrased. Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot. ‘He can’t think without his hat.’”
“Para what?” asked Bully Number Two, looking about as bovine and intelligent as one of the calves at the state fair.
I cursed myself under my breath. Quoting anything more complex than X-Men to these boys was only going to confirm my nerd status in their eyes, and it certainly would not score any points.
Tom was starting to look guilty by this time. It was clear that he’d been put up to assaulting me by the two bullies.
“Paraphrase means…” Tom’s explanation died as he realized he might be demonstrating more intelligence than was wise around the Cretin Twins. His anger returned, aimed directly at me. “You’re a stuck up bitch, just like all the others! I said hi that first day and you never even answered me! I hate you!”
“Well, I just wish you’d figure out what is bothering you and stop trying to mess with me, Tom! And as for you two,” I said, my voice lowering almost to boy timbre, “go take a soak!”
The two bullies took that moment to stumble while standing still–quite a trick, I might add–and fell onto the adjacent lawn where sprinklers were just then beginning to come to life. Why a Florida lawn needed sprinklers was beyond me, and chose not to think about what I might have done with my Chaos wish. The two floundered about long enough to become completely soaked before running off home. So much for big, bad bullies!
Tom just stared at me, horror growing on his face. He abruptly turned and ran as fast as he could, sobbing loud enough for me to hear him half a block away.
“You’ve really done it this time.”
I swung around to see Abby, my pixy, hands on her hips, looking at me as if I’d just killed a puppy. Abby had been one of the consequences of that final blast of Chaos before it had entered me. A special agent with a secret government organization, she had been large and male until that day. Now she was a pixy, barely three foot plus and cute as a button. That had royally pissed her off in the beginning, but now she seemed to be coming into her own.
Still, her change in attitude did not extend to deferring to me as her Mistress, or whatever position I now commanded in her life. Oh, she obeyed me. She had to. That was part of the magic. And she was truly a pixy in many of her powers. She could wink out of existence and reappear elsewhere, she could remain invisible–and was commanded to do so–to anyone else. But where was the respect?
Abby interrupted my disgruntled thoughts with further criticism, “You traumatized that poor girl something awful.”
“What do you mean, ‘girl’?” I shot back angrily, “That was Tom. He’s been such a pain to me and I never understood why! There wasn’t any girl here…”
My retort trailed off as the implication of Abby’s words finally sank into my thick head. For a genius, I was sometimes incredibly dense.
Tom had come up to me that first day as I entered Middle School–as a girl!–two weeks after my amazing transformation from 10-year-old, weakling, uncoordinated Johnnie into the 13-year-old hottie Janelle. That was before anyone else dared approach me. The boys were obviously afraid of me, and the girls were more than a little jealous. Add to that my slightly awkward manner (Mom’s condensed instructions into girldom notwithstanding) and no one seemed willing to break the ice with me.
I was feeling rather down when Tom came up to me, barely concealing a strange fascination, and asked if I’d like to hang out with him. I’d muttered something noncommittal and brushed by, unnerved with his unusual manner. At the time I’d thought he was coming on to me in a weird fashion. With hindsight, I realized he’d been trying to be a friend–as in girlfriend–to someone who still had some of the boyish mannerisms that 10 years in that hated body had instilled in me.
Tom was attracted to me precisely because I was a good-looking girl who acted like she was new to the game, someone he–I mean she–could relate to, even if she did not precisely know why.
And I’d forced that knowledge onto her in the blink of an eye!
For me, the knowledge that I was really a girl inside began to develop around age seven. By the time of my transformation a few weeks ago, I was certain of who I was, but terrified of admitting it to my parents. Roger’s girlfriend, Kylie, was transformed that same night, going from a frail, undersized boy of nineteen to a knockout temptress of the same age. Roger had always known, somewhere deep down inside, that Kevin was really a girl. He had even come to love that part of her, while being ashamed of the attraction, never even admitting it to himself.
Somehow I’d managed to screw up their budding romance, and now this! Janelle, Wielder of Chaos Magic was a walking disaster area!
It was a week before Thanksgiving that I’d interfered in my brother’s romance with Kylie. At the time, I enlisted Abby’s assistance in spying on Kylie and Roger. What had seemed for all the world to be a match made in Heaven had quickly sputtered without explanation into brief and awkward visits from Roger, returning from his university on weekends. Kylie had appeared more and more troubled, and I’d vowed to fix their problem myself.
Abby reported back that Roger would sit around Kylie’s new apartment with a hang dog look on his face while Kylie would busy herself making dinners and tidying up the place, desperately avoiding any confrontation with her reluctant paramour. The tension seemed thick enough to cut with a knife.
Abby advised caution, saying that two people over the age of eighteen ought to be able to work out their differences between them. I would have none of that, because I knew Roger loved Kylie. He was just being stupid. So I wished oomph on Roger’s part, more passion to jump start romance. I used my power.
Abby was incensed with my interference, but could do nothing about it. After all, I was her Mistress, even if she refused to admit it to me, just as she refused to admit that she was secretly enjoying being a girl herself. I knew all this now because I could read her mind. All her male life, she had been miserable without really knowing why. She had taken it out on others and learned to be ruthless in her professional life. She had been a monster. Abby shuddered when she remembered the things she had done in that life. Now she was a girl! If only she wasn’t so short!
Subsequent reconnaissance had confirmed the Pixy’s worst fears. Roger, unable to fight the overwhelming attraction to Kylie had fled her apartment and returned to University. What I had not considered with my incredible intellect was that Roger had no lack of passion for Kylie. Abby contended that Roger was already afraid of his need of the woman his friend had become. The real problem was that he remembered only too well his male friend, Kevin. He was terrified that in the throes of passion with Kylie, he would remember those times and be repulsed. He knew that rejecting Kylie at such an intimate time would devastate her. He couldn’t do that to Kylie. He loved her too much.
So Roger had fled back to school without explanation, knowing that staying even a moment more in her presence would break down his resolve.
Of course, all Abby could honestly report were his actions. She told me what she believed his reasons were and how my interference had precipitated it all. But a thirteen-year-old genius does not want to be told they are wrong, especially as I was not about to pry into my brother’s mind to prove Abby mistaken.
Now, with this latest disaster at hand, I began to realize that my intellectual arrogance and newfound power had combined to mess up at least three lives. Oh, Mistress of the Universe, indeed! I vowed to never again thoughtlessly use my powers, tears obscuring my vision as I stumbled home.
“May I see Tom, Mrs. Jackson, please?”
I was standing at the Jackson’s front door, hoping to catch Tom at home after failing to find him at school today. It was Wednesday before Winter Break, and I did not have much time to make amends for what I’d done to Tom. If I missed him now I might not see him until after New Years. What might he do in his state if no one helped him? I knew he was frantic, because I’d asked Abby to help me find out what was going on when he did not show up at school after the incident yesterday. And by ask I meant ASK. I promised I would not use my power to try to fix Tom’s problem, before pleading with Abby to perform some minor spying on a voluntary basis.
I think that my contrition impressed Abby, because she smiled at me for the first time since I’d cursed Tom with an instant understanding of his special problem. Up until that moment he had just been an angry young man who hadn’t fit in anywhere, a not terribly unusual condition for a teenaged boy. Afterwards…there was a lost young woman who didn’t fit in anywhere, and was trapped in the body of a boy.
Abby agreed to check up on Tom, but made me promise again not to use my powers to “fix” him. He wasn’t broken. He was scared and alone and probably thought no one else in the world would understand. Most of all, Tom needed a friend.
It was like Abby was reading my mind, because I had been thinking precisely along those lines. I assured the pixy that was my intent, and my diminutive assistant blinked out on her mission of merciful espionage. Abby made it back to me as I walked home, so I rushed the last blocks to my house–stopping briefly at the local pharmacy for some supplies–and flew inside, causing mom to squawk something about who the tornado was as I passed out of earshot. I hurriedly threw a few things into a daypack and, shouldering the burden, ran back out the door, yelling out to mom that I was going to visit a friend. I swear she had the goofiest look on her face. As if I couldn’t have a friend!
So there I was, waiting impatiently for Mrs. Jackson to give me the okay when a voice from the second floor wailed out that they didn’t want to see anybody. Mrs. Jackson briefly glanced towards the stairs before leaning down to me.
“What’s your name, honey?”
“It’s Janelle, ma’am. I’m afraid I may be the cause of Tom’s recent unhappiness.”
A door slammed above us, making me jump.
Mrs. Jackson straightened up before taking me gently by the arm. “Tom has been unhappy for about as long as I can remember, Janelle. Yesterday was just the icing on the cake. He won’t talk to his father or me, and until just now he’s been crying his eyes out in his bedroom. I’ve been afraid that something was going to happen, but most of my nightmares revolve around Tom being picked up by the police, not crying in his room.”
Mrs. Jackson went down on her knees and only had to look up slightly to meet me eye to eye, making me acutely aware that I had yet to make it to five feet tall. My conversion to girl had given me some pleasing curves, but it hadn’t added to my height. I sighed as I realized I would probably always be petite.
“Dear, if there is anything you can do to help Tom, then please do it. What happened yesterday isn’t important, other than it seems to have brought my boy to a decision point. I don’t know what that is, but I’m pretty sure he can’t go back to the way things were. Please, just do what you can!”
Mrs. Jackson gave me a quick hug, then leaped up and rushed away. She wasn’t quick enough to hide her tears from me, however. Talk about pressure!
I climbed the stairs feeling like I was on my way to the gallows.
When I reached the door I hesitated. What if Tom wouldn’t speak with me? What if his door was locked?
“You promised not to use your power, Janelle,” Abby hissed at me, after popping into existence at my elbow.
“Against Tom. I promised not to use it on him. Besides,” I replied disingenuously, “this is a quantum sort of thing. Did Tom lock the door or not? He probably doesn’t even remember. Until we try…well, we just won’t know whether it is locked or not. So, I choose to believe that it is open. And see? It’s not locked!”
The door swung open as Abby gave me a last disgusted look before disappearing.
Tom was huddled on his bed, crying into his pillow. He had no idea I was in the room until I reached out and gently touched his shoulder.
I jumped when he shrieked like a little girl, then quickly backed away as he rose to confront me.
“What did you do to me?” he whispered, despair etched on his face.
I was speechless, unable to make a sound. What I’d done to him was unforgivable.
“It doesn’t matter,” he spoke, more to himself than to me, “It’s been wrong since forever. I just never admitted…well, what you made me see. Now, I can’t even look away. I’m a girl, for criminy’s sake! Stuck in this disgusting body.”
Tom looked me in the eyes. “From the moment I saw you I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t know why, I still don’t. Not really. It’s just that when I saw you I had this feeling that things could be different, that you could help me. When you wouldn’t even talk to me…”
Tom broke down and dropped back onto his bed. I sat beside him and held him in my arms, rocking gently back and forth. He hugged me back fiercely and we began to cry out all the pain a lifetime in the wrong body can bring to you. When the tears abated I pulled back and looked at Tom carefully. He wasn’t that much larger than I, and his features, while not as girlish as mine had been before the change, were still reasonably fine for what I had in mind. At thirteen, he still had no perceptible beard and his Adam’s apple was not noticeable.
This could work. I knew it in my heart.
“I promised someone–and myself–that I wouldn’t do anything like what I did to you yesterday when I made you see what your problem had been all this time. So, I have no magic to offer you. But I can do quite a lot with what you already have, and I can give you a glimpse of what you can be if you want to badly enough.”
“What do you mean…”
“Shush,” I replied, placing one slim finger on Tom’s lips. “Let Mama Janelle take care of you. Everything I do can be undone before I leave. I’m just showing you,” I said with a mysterious smile and a hand flourish, “possibilities.”
“But first, I need a name.”
“What name? What do you mean?”
“I am not going to call my best girlfriend Tom! I can come up with a name for you, but it would be nicer if you can think of one for yourself.”
“Oh. Oh! Uh…I always liked the name Candace.”
“Very nice, girl! Of course, the boys may be calling you Candy. And by the time I’m done with you, I think you’ll be some very nice eye candy indeed! Sure you want to stick with Candace?”
Candace squared her shoulders. “That’s the name I want. I’m not so sure about eye candy, though. I’ve never thought about any of this before. I don’t even know whether I like boys or girls.” My new friend looked at me solemnly and then continued, “This happened so fast! One moment I hated you for a reason I couldn’t even figure out and the next everything made sense to me, even if it did seem like a nightmare. All the anger and awkwardness was because who I was on the inside couldn’t come out. I couldn’t be the female that every other girl gets to be naturally. What you did to me…it was a real shock. But it was something I needed to know. Don’t get me wrong, I really don’t blame you. I just don’t know how to live my life now that I know who I’m supposed to be!”
I hugged Candace some more before once again looking deeply into her eyes.
“Not every girl is born into the correct body. Believe me, I know! But there is a lot that can be done, especially when all the changes hormones create haven’t had a chance to complete their work. I’m going to show you what you can do right now. After that…well, it’s going to take a lot of courage on your part, and we will have to talk to your parents. Not this instant! Don’t have a panic attack, Candace,” I say the last in a soothing voice as I realize my friend’s anxiety is ratcheting upwards. “Please, just let me show you what I can do right now.”
Candace gave me a tiny nod while looking like she would curl up in a ball at any moment, so I decided to move her into her adjoining bathroom immediately and get to work. Her room did not have adequate lighting for what I wanted to do, so the bathroom will have to do.
I sat Candace on the toilet–seat down, of course–and opened up my daypack. Thankfully, the vantage from her seat does not give a view of the mirror, as I wanted what I did to be a surprise for her. I don’t want her seeing any intermediate steps that might look “transitional” and scare her into backing out. There is enough boy in her look to make the unfinished product look off and confuse my new friend. But when I’m done…
I crossed my fingers behind my back just before I started in on Candace, praying I can do this without my magic.
“There! Now I want you to close your eyes while we put you in front of the mirror for your big reveal. I’ve only done up your face and tried a little light styling of your hair. No clothes yet, so just concentrate on looking at that beautiful face of yours. Okay?”
Candace nodded silently as she allowed me to raise her back up to her feet. I walked her over to the mirror and pointed her in the right direction. Her eyes were shut so tight that I thiought she was going to have cramps in her eyelids if she kept it up much longer.
“Oh, honey! It’ really is okay. Better than okay. I am not an expert beautician, but you’ve come out marvelously. I am so pleased with the way you look! Now, what I’ve done is give you a day look, something very natural and not obviously made up, while bringing out your inner beauty. Most girls at school either use no makeup or go way overboard, but you never see me doing that. I’ve paid a lot of attention to how my mother does her ‘look’ and I read a lot of magazines, so I know how to do subtle and I know how to make it age appropriate. That is very important, I might add! I shudder when I see a poor girl walking the school halls looking like she’s ready for an evening out at a bar! You, on the other hand, look like a fresh-faced young thing ready for a trip to the mall with her girlfriends. Wouldn’t you like to go to the mall and hang out…as a girl?”
I thought that I’d finally reached Candace with my last remark, as her eyes were beginning to relax. I began to see a sliver of beautiful green between her eyelids and then those astounding eyes popped open so wide I actually took a step back in startlement.
“That can’t be me!”
“Well, who did you just see speaking those words, Candace?”
“Um…uh…it is me!” Candace twirled around and gave me an enthusiastic hug that almost left me breathless. I made a mental note to start out her girl lessons immediately. Girls shouldn’t hug people into comas!
After breaking out of her bear hug, I went on to explain what I’d done for her with makeup and hairstyle. Her face had a light, non-greasy foundation that matched her coloration. (Lucky me to have it on hand! Okay, I cheated. I “found out” her colors before I hit the pharmacy, but I bought the makeup the non-magical way. Honest!) That was lightly powdered, the powder swept for proper blend. Next came the merest hint of blush along the cheeks to bring out her youthful liveliness without being obviously cosmetic. I lined her eyes carefully with a soft brown that went well with her large green eyes, making them even larger without any of the annoying raccoon effect so many girls our age fall into. No mascara or eye shadow for a daytime look at our age, of course. The final touch was a lip-gloss with just a hint of pink to help out her already attractive lips. Her eyebrows were not at all bushy and I’d left them alone. They would pass as is and any shaping would be too permanent for the moment, but I had taken a slight liberty with Candace’s hair. Her light brown hair was boy cut but rather long, and usually kept in a short ponytail. Nothing strange for a boy. All I did was release it from captivity and pull a bit forward for bangs. Those, I was forced to lightly trim for evenness, but was confident would be unnoticeable with a little gel and comb back. I brushed the rest, adding light spritzes to hold the volume I was adding. Evening out the ends and adding a gentle curl underneath gave Candace a very passable styling.
“So, you like it?”
“I love it, Janelle! It is, temporary, right? I can’t let my dad see me like this. No way!”
I held back a comment about how he would have to see Candace sometime in the future, opting for reassurance that everything could be undone and Tom would once again emerge. The look in Candace’s beautiful eyes told me everything I needed to know. There was relief from her fear of her father discovering Candace, but also a deep sadness that she could not stay permanently. I also noted that Candace had said nothing about her mother’s potential reaction to the new girl. I filed that away for the moment and asked my friend if she would like to see how she looked in proper clothes.
Candace hesitated briefly before nodding ever so slightly.
I gently explained that if she is to feel like a girl she needed to dress like one from the skin out. It’s more important to wear the correct underwear than outerwear. After all, we girls can do boy jeans and shirts if we want, but we still wear panties underneath, even if they are boy cut. I explained that if she really wants to look like a girl we will have to shave her underarms and her legs, but for today I have some things that would handle those aspects. For now, just the panties. I left Candace a simple white cotton bikini to put on after she takes her boy clothes off.
I waited in Candace’s bedroom, pulling out the next items I needed for the transformation, and looked about the room, wondering what she would change first about its look. Having made the switch myself less than two months before, my room was still in a state of flux. The walls would remain off-white at least until spring. I wanted that much time to see if I wanted to go full-on girly with something in a pink shade, perhaps. But the general décor was undergoing a bit of a makeover. I now had a vanity with lights for applying makeup, though I was under orders to keep it proper for a girl of thirteen. Sometimes I thought my mother didn’t trust me!
I was revamping my posters, adding a few cute boy and girl bands (like I said, I still wasn’t sure which way I would swing, but the hormones were getting things stirred up.) I had also added some adorable stuffed animals that I had previously been too embarrassed to contemplate leaving about. Being a girl was such fun!
But there were down sides as well, which was something I was just now beginning to realize. Even as a small boy, I had not been nearly as worried about the attentions of adults and older kids, at least in a sexual way. Now, every lingering glance made me self-conscious and wonder if I was being ogled.
Candace emerged hesitantly from the bathroom, and I realized that my ruminations had distracted me from the inordinate amount of time my new friend had been taking in putting on a simple pair of panties. She was obviously terrified of how she would look almost naked. I smiled encouragingly and Candace seemed to relax a little. Motioning her over I picked up the next item for her to put on, a simple white B-cup bra with a front fastening. (I know, you’re saying bad things about me right now. Liar, liar! The pharmacy did not have lingerie. Okay, I magicked a few things. I haven’t used any on Candace, so lay off my case!) I picked the front fastening for simplicity in getting it on and taking it off, not for any sexy factor.
Once I showed Candace how to don her bra I added two silicon inserts that filled it out nicely. They were approximately breast shaped and seemed like the real thing as far as their feel, but I had refrained from creating them too lifelike, since I did not know who might see them and start asking questions.
Candace’s legs had some fine hair that was not too noticeable, especially after she put on some skin-tone opaque tights. We added a simple, short-sleeved white blouse and a pleated green skirt the color of her eyes. The skirt came to just above her knees, meaning she would have to learn to keep her legs together while wearing it, but wouldn’t be constantly fighting the garment for her dignity. Some simple white pumps with a one-inch block heel completed her clothing and we added just a touch of jewelry: a cute charm bracelet around her left wrist and a slender chain with heart locket around her neck.
I was finally satisfied, so I had Candace wait while I went downstairs and asked her mom if there might be anything for an after-school snack. Mrs. Jackson gave me one look and realized that my contented look was one of success. She gave me a big hug and promised sandwiches and glasses of cold milk in just a mo.
I ran back upstairs and asked Candace if there was a full-length mirror in the house. She replied that there was one in her parent’s room. I gently guided her out of her room, letting her know that her mother was busy making us something to snack on. That seemed to startle her, but I reassure Candace that I could bring everything up to her room if she didn’t want to show her mom what we have been doing just yet. When we entered her mother’s room I made sure the lights were on and let Candace check herself out at her own pace. She was mesmerized, and so was I. The boy was gone, and not just in looks. Candace seemed to have found in moments the grace that I had been struggling with, despite knowing for years that I truly was a girl.
I took a big breath and decided it was time to push the envelope. “Candace, I want your mother to meet you.”
She looked at me with a funny expression on her face, and then just walked out of the room. I followed along as she descended the stairs.
Mrs. Jackson was just putting the last plate on the table when we entered, her back to us.
“Mama.”
That was all Candace said to her mother, a single word in a timbre not much different than Tom might have used, but the word was so much softer coming her lips. Then again, it may just have been the word itself that tipped off her mother.
Mrs. Jackson straightened from her task and slowly turned around. I could tell that she was carefully holding her expression neutral, though the corners of her mouth were trembling with tension.
“He…hello there, dear. You…look lovely.”
“I know this must be a shock to you, mama, but I finally realized why I have been so unhappy for as long as I can remember. Janelle here,” she said, looking at me with undeserved gratitude, “helped me see the truth.”
Candace moved smoothly in front of her mother, her astonishing grace startling me again. “Please, mama! This must be such a shock to you, but it is even more of one to me. I was really clueless! You know…if Janelle hadn’t helped me, I don’t know what would have happened to me. But I know what I want now, I really do! Can you love me as a daughter?”
Mrs. Jackson grabbed her daughter and hugged her fiercely, looking over her shoulder at me with hard questions in her eyes. Whether his mother had suspected anything of Tom’s unconscious leanings, she was clearly shocked at Candace’s rapid transformation. That made two of us.
I vowed to never again mess with anyone’s mind using my Chaos power. It was too uncertain for that sort of thing. Besides, it made me feel icky, like I was playing God, or something.
A God who was always making a mess of things.
“I’ll love you no matter what, dear! But I can’t keep calling you Tom, not dressed like that. Have you picked out a name yet? Or perhaps your friend has picked one out for you,” she said, looking at me with her piercing eyes. She obviously suspected that I’d done more than just be a friend to Candace. After all, her physical transformation paled in shock value to her amazing change in attitude, not to mention a minor gender reorientation! For all Mrs. Jackson knew, I’d hypnotized her boy into thinking he was a girl.
“Oh no, mom! I’ve always liked the name. That was my idea. Everything she has done for me, I’ve wanted it. Even if I wasn’t sure until we were done. But mama, what do we do about Pops?”
That last finally pulled Mrs. Jackson’s eyes away from me. I let out the breath I’d been holding and gratefully sucked in fresh air.
“I really don’t have an answer for that, dear. He’s…not very understanding about such things.”
Candace shuddered and hugged her mother tightly, though I noted that even with her obvious terror, Candace was giving girl hugs now. I had a strong feeling that when I wished for Tom to figure out what was bothering him I had managed to not only give him an acceptance of what he found but also the tools Candace needed to handle the transformation. Adding the makeup and clothes was the spark that set it off, but it surely would have started on its own if I hadn’t come by today.
“I…I guess that I’ll just have to pretend to be a boy when he is at home,” Candace said dejectedly. It was painfully obvious that now that Candy (yeah, I’m thinking of her as Candy already) had experienced girlhood she did not want to return to being a boy, even for a while.
“He’s on a long loop this time, honey. He won’t be back before Christmas Eve. Something about specialty parts needing to be delivered to various cities. We have that long.”
Mrs. Jackson looked at me over her daughter’s shoulder, this time with a bit more trust.
“My husband is a long haul trucker, an independent. It’s tough making a living nowadays that way, so he takes whatever comes his way and, if he has a choice, he picks what makes him the most money. He’s also extremely anti-gay.”
“I’m not gay, mom! I’m…I’m…”
“Transgendered, Mrs. Jackson. Like I am.”
Mrs. Jackson pulled Candace to her side to look at me better. I could see her disbelief, as she looked me up and down. Too young for the surgical route, I clearly had all my girl curves and none of the subtle tells that would have suggested my previous sex. My genius brain kicked in and I remembered some of the web sites I had found as a boy dreaming of somehow becoming a girl.
“I’m actually intersexed, Mrs. Jackson. I had the outward appearance of a boy, but the internal organs of a girl. Luckily, the doctors discovered the problem a couple of years ago and corrected the error. I’ve gone through puberty as a complete girl. That’s why I look so good. But you can see that Candy looks pretty fine right now. I know that you will want a psychologist who understands gender dysphoria issues to talk to Candace before you go any further.”
“I hope you believe me when I say,” I continued, tears misting my eyes, “that this is truly what she wants. Whatever you feel my part in this was, please believe me about that.”
Candace pulled one arm away from her mother, motioning for me to join their hug, and I wasted no time in rushing into her welcoming embrace. I felt Mrs. Jackson encircle us both and melted into their embrace. We basked in that mutual love-fest for what seemed like hours, but could only have been a few minutes, when Candace suddenly pulled away.
“What about school! And…and Pops!”
My brain had been on idle while we group hugged, so now I kicked it back into gear and thought through some possibilities even as I asked a first question, “I take it that going back to school as Tom isn’t exactly what you want?”
“Not really. I suppose I could wear the clothes and pretend to be a boy for a while longer, but the real problem is who I was as a boy. I don’t want to be someone like that, and if I go back to school looking like that person there will be a lot of people who expect…well you know how I acted. Some people would even beat me up if I don’t act tough and…and obnoxious.”
Candace was looking quite distressed, even wringing her hands as she spoke as if she wanted to rid herself of her past at any cost. The Chaos Magic I unleashed with my heated comment yesterday was frightening. Despite my conviction that this new girl was truly the person Tom had to become to be happy, I feared that my meddling might have precipitated a crisis that would be difficult, if not impossible, to resolve.
How could I “fix” this problem?
“Easy, girl! I’m thinking about what we can do. Give me a moment or two.”
Mrs. Jackson looked like she wanted to say something at that point, but I held up a hand, silently asking for the time I had requested. She remained silent, perhaps so overloaded by implausibility at this point that she had simply suspended disbelief. After the impossible transformation of her troubled son into this delicate young woman, she seemed ready to believe that a thirteen-year-old girl could come up with a solution to their dilemma.
The fact that Candace did not want to be Tom, even for a short while, greatly reduced my possible solutions. I sighed heavily as I realized I would have to fix Chaos Magic with more magic. Only this time I would avoid applying it directly to people.
“I have to get something from my pack. I’ll be right back. Why don’t you two enjoy the snacks? Won’t be but a moment!”
I rushed out before anyone could ask questions of me. Racing up the stairs two at a time, I barely managed the turn into Candace’s bedroom without face planting.
“Abby! I need you now!”
The pixy popped into existence, her arch expression nearly breaking my resolve not to meddle with people’s insides. Her superior manner was not what I needed at the moment.
“Okay, you were right. I really messed up with Candace. But she knows what she wants now, so I intend to help her out. Make amends, so to speak, for what I did. My question for you is, could you get into your old headquarters and get a new ID for Candace, along with doctored records. You know, school, birth, social security…”
“Hold up, there! Are you asking me for my help? Like you did when I spied on Tom, er, Candace?”
“Yes I am. I’m not even sure if what I want to do is the best thing for Candace, but I have to do something. So I am asking you if you can do this, but I am also asking if I should. We could give her a new identity just as the organization did for Kylie. Tom is the Jackson’s only child, so he’ll have to disappear. Maybe a phony witness protection? I don’t know right now, you decide what is easiest. Then new records for a long lost daughter by the name of Candace, perhaps?”
Abby looked at me as if I had grown two heads. “We can’t do a witness protection angle, because no one would buy that a minor of Tom’s age was sent off without his parents. Besides, having two long lost daughters showing up in the same town is a bit of a stretch. No, we’ll do a straight swap of cousins. Tom is going to his drill sergeant uncle who has managed to raise a model young daughter, and the daughter will come out here due to the slightly better protections for a transperson in the public schools.”
I rolled my eyes at Abby’s swap idea, but then decided that we needed something fast. “Okay, fine. But can you get all the records we’ll need?”
“Sure,” Abby said as she performed a dainty pirouette. “I can get them made up this Sunday when the office will be nearly deserted. I should still have a few high-level passwords available to pull it together and hide the back trail. I can have hardcopy in hand and an electronic record that should hold up under ordinary scrutiny.”
Abby executed several quick petite cabrioles to each side, and then came to a motionless en pointe position.
What a showoff, I thought. Then I remembered the hulking Agent Black and nearly laughed imagining him trying the same thing. I sobered up when I realized that it was probably those same sorts of thoughts that had caused the agent such pain that he had to take it out on the whole world. Before her change I would never have believed that Agent Black had wanted to be a ballerina. I thought of what Tom might have become in 30 years if he had never had this opportunity before him.
Reining in my thoughts I concentrated on what needed to be done now. “Okay, Candace will have to miss school for the last two days before Christmas break. She’ll have her records to start right after the New Year. That gives us some time. For the moment, I need a business card.”
“Business card?”
Hah! Finally fooled my pixy!
I suppressed a smile and explained to Abby that she was going to be a federal agent who was my favorite uncle in the whole wide world, one who would do just about anything for me. Mrs. Jackson was to call him tomorrow after I talked to him and then everything would be taken care of.
“So how am I going to look like a Big Person again, not to mention a male?”
“That’s easy! I will create a glamour that will make you look and sound like an important agent who can Get Things Done.”
My brain was working at warp speed, trying to get this all figured out before I had to rush back down to see Candace and her mom. I imagined a cell phone for Abby and one appeared, pink and pixy petite with a bluebell ear bud for a professional, hands-free ability. Abby looked at me cross-eyed and I explained that the phone would have a glamour on it as well when she meets the Jackson’s. One last Chaos wish and I am the proud bearer of my big Uncle George’s “official” business card. It says nothing about his uber-security mogul status, while appearing very Official and Important. Just the thing to impress.
I raced down to the kitchen and joined the Jackson’s for some food, plopping the card down at Candace’s side.
“Sorry it took so long! I called Uncle George and explained the situation to him. He understands, since he was my biggest supporter when I was having problems but we hadn’t yet figured out that I was intersexed. If you promise to tell NO ONE, he can get some new ID and school records for Candace, making her a cousin of Tom’s. He suggested the cover story of Tom going to live with his uncle to learn discipline and Candace coming here to live, since the laws are a little better here on protecting transsexual’s in the public schools. We can’t get around Candace’s birth sex, so we go with it this way. I know it won’t be easy, but it is the best my uncle and I could come up with.”
I could tell that Mrs. Jackson wasn’t completely buying my cover story. She knew I had a hand in Candace’s transformation and having an Uncle George is awfully convenient. Still, as long as I kept to my story, she would have no way of figuring out the truth. Let her think me a witch, or any silly thing her mind can come up with, just so long as she never suspects that I control Chaos Magic. If word of that ever got back to the Organization there would be more than questions coming my way again, and this time I might HAVE to fight the US Government. Besides, if I succeeded at getting Candace new ID, I was sure her mom would not want to broadcast that information around.
Candace’s look of pleading broke through Mrs. Jackson’s resistance. She agreed after we discussed some more details, details that I would sort out afterwards, though I didn’t tell them that at the time. I made like Uncle George had it all covered. Minor details like a school district that would be accepting Tom’s records for the transfer, even though we all knew there would never be a Tom arriving. And same district being available for any follow-up questions for Candace’s records. It may keep Abby busy, but I figured it would do her good to watch for mail pertaining to Tom or Candace from our school and “fixing” it to properly reflect the new reality I was creating on the fly.
Mrs. Jackson was still worried about her husband and his reaction, and I could tell that Candace was actually terrified when she thought of her father coming home to discover her looking like a girl. I was stumped for the moment, as I had promised myself that I would not mess with people’s heads anymore. I can’t just fix him. We had until Christmas Eve, so I promised the two that we would think of something. Since it was obvious to Candace’s mom that her girl was not about to go back to living as the awful Tom, she agreed reluctantly, giving me a stern look. I can tell that she expected another miracle out of me, and that failure would bring down her wrath. I was thinking right about then that I’d put my foot in it for sure. If I can’t make this work all heck is going to break out.
I promised once more and was relieved when Mrs. Jackson seemed to accept my word. I got the funny feeling that Janelle Carter, Miracle Worker, had been born.
Candace and her mother decided on a quick shopping trip tonight for clothes and the other accoutrements necessary for a girl of 13, while reserving the bulk of their efforts for Thursday and Friday. I promised to come by Friday afternoon to visit and we parted ways.
“So now I’m Uncle George? Why, I should put you across my knee and spank you right through those pretty little panties you so adore!”
“Please, Abby! I know I’m in deep. Besides, you couldn’t hold me on that tiny lap of yours. For whatever reason, when Chaos made you, it made you the way I think a pixy should be. You can appear any size up to true pixy height, but no larger. Even though I’m sure you could deliver any level of pain you choose, I’m already feeling miserable about what I’ve done to Candace. I don’t need any reminders from my backside that I screwed up.”
“Well, it’s going to take some stealthy work on my part to get all the documents and records fixed to create Candace without my old compatriots sussing out the fact that someone has been inside their security. But I can do it, so don’t worry your pretty head about that. The real problem is Candace’s dad. Turn him into a frog, perhaps? They could keep him as a pet and report Mr. Jackson as missing. The old Agent Black would suggest something like that. He felt like a frog most of his life.”
“You know I won’t do that, Abby. I also will not mess with his head. I’ve done enough damage that way already. I’ve got two problems to deal with now and no idea what to do.”
“Yeah. Candace and her dad, Roger and Kylie. A fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into this time.”
I actually liked to watch some of the old, old reruns, so I got the reference to Laurel and Hardy. I also noticed that Abby wasn’t including herself in my problem. It didn’t matter. She was my pixy, courtesy of the Chaos Magic before it entered my body. I’d tried to free her of her pixy size without success. And as far as her serving me, it had seemed the only way at first to ensure she didn’t go back to the Chaos Investigation Agency and blab out my whole story to them. As time went by, I realized she was enjoying being a girl, even if her size rankled.
I had the feeling that Abby’s protestations were more pro forma than real. If I asked sincerely, she would help me of her own accord. That suited me just fine, as I was quickly growing tired of ordering her around. Being a dictator was just not my style.
“Give me some time, Abby. I will figure something out.”
“Well, you’re the genius. Let me know when you have a clue.”
Abby winked out before I could come up with a retort. I didn’t feel like calling her back to chastise her for my own failings, so I let it go as I pondered my dilemma. I made it home and hugged my mom before running off to my room, still deep in thought.
Christmas Chaos,
Part Two |
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“Hi, uh, Janelle?”
I turned around to see Don Hanson standing awkwardly next to me. He was a Math Club guy, almost stereotypical in his look: a bit gawky, with glasses and unkempt, light brown hair. If I’d been taller as a guy, I’d probably have looked a lot like Don in a few years.
“Yes, Don? We don’t have a meeting before Christmas, do we? I hadn’t heard about anything.”
“No. Oh, no! Not anything like that,” he said, fidgeting nervously.
My radar gave a warning squawk, fearing incoming hostiles.
“I…I was wondering if you’d like to go to the new movie with me Saturday night?”
Yep. Hostiles. Just turned into a girl and aged 3 years, I wasn’t certain I wanted to date guys. Heck, I liked being 13 for the very reason that I wouldn’t have to seriously consider that question for another couple of years or so!
“Well,” I temporized, “I couldn’t possibly go out on a couples date. My father wouldn’t allow it. Of course, if you had a friend for one of my friends…”
I watched Don’s face light up and had the sinking feeling that my mouth had gotten ahead of my brain again. He had a candidate ready to hand! I remembered that Don was also in the Chess Club and had obviously been planning several moves ahead.
“Jerry, here…hey, Jerry! Come on over! Jerry would only be too happy to go out with a friend of yours, Janelle.”
A very thin and tall young man shuffled over to say a bashful hello, obviously nervous about being Don’s wingman. I took one look at the poor fellow and decided that I had to at least try to get him a date. I took a big breath and accepted Don’s offer, dependent on my being able to find a date for Jerry on short notice. I got his phone number and promised to call that evening. The boys run off before I could change my mind and I realized I’m actually looking forward to seeing if boys are my thing. Not that anything would happen! It was going to be a first date…and I’m thirteen! I might let Don hold my hand. And maybe a goodnight kiss. On the cheek.
On the walk home I realize that there is only one girl I can ask to help me out. I’ve talked to some of the other girls in school, but I don’t even have their phone numbers yet, let alone a relationship where I can ask one to help me out on a double date. I reluctantly call Candace, hoping that I’m not pushing things too quickly for her. Who am I kidding? Of course I’m pushing it too fast! But I have no other options. Besides, if Candace won’t do it–or her mother says no–then I’m off the hook as well. I’ll feel bad for Don and Jerry, but I’ll have done my best.
“Hello? Jackson residence.”
Oh, Candace! I was hoping you’d answer. I have really big favor to ask of you.”
“Janelle! Ask away, girl. I owe you big time!”
“So, I take it that Uncle George said he could help you out?”
“Yep! He figures he’ll have ID for me right away and all the records to go back to school as Candace by the end of the weekend. I never realized the government could be that efficient!”
Efficiency via Chaos Magic, I thought wryly. As for the immediate ID, I guess that was on my shoulders. I could magic it up just like I did my “uncle’s” business card. There would be nothing backing it for the time being, but it would mean Candace would have believable identification when out in public. I wondered how a transperson’s ID should read, since if there was an accident or anything like that then Candace’s real sex would come out.
I settled for a Florida picture ID that stated Candace’s name but left her sex male. That would be her official ID, but I decided to risk a “fake” ID as well, stating her preferred sex. The photo for both was as I remembered her from her recent makeover, so she looked like a nice young woman either way. Without a close look, even her “real” ID would look like she was a girl. I decided that she’d had a legal name change already.
“Well,” I replied, “it is the least I can do after starting all this. But what I needed to ask you is if you could go out with me on Saturday to a movie. It’s…sort of a double date with two of the guys from the Math Club.”
I waited through a long silence, only to break down and add a disclaimer, “It wasn’t my idea, but Don Wilson asked me and I didn’t know what to say and then he said he had a friend if I wanted it to be a double date so there was no pressure or anything…”
I wound down, hoping that Candace would finally make a sound. I mean anything to keep me from babbling like an idiot to fill the silence.
“Um, I don’t know. I’ll have to ask my mom, you know? Who is Don’s friend, by the way?”
“It’s Jerry somebody. I think maybe…Gray?”
“Jerry Green? He’s really tall.”
“Yeah. I think he’s, like, 5’10” already.”
“And I’m 5’6” and with two-inch heels he would still be taller than me…”
I could tell there would be no problem with Candace, as long as her date was taller than her. Who would of thunk it a couple of days ago? Still, we had to get past the biggest hurdle. Mrs. Jackson.
“How about this? I’ll have my dad call your mom. He can be our chaperone. That way there won’t be any problems with, well, you know.”
I could tell that Candace was thinking about it. She already considered herself female, but she knew that problems could happen if the boy she was out with went too far. A casual attempt at second base through clothes could be rebuffed, but anything more would expose her secret.
“Yeah, that would be best. Is your dad home now?”
“No, but I can call him at work and give him your number. Your mom is there right now?”
“Yes, she is. I’ll let her know he will be calling.”
“Great! I’ll get the ball rolling and we’ll talk later. Everything going well at your house?”
“Super! My mom and I went out shopping and I have a whole new wardrobe, or at least a good start on one. But we still don’t know what we’ll do once Pops comes home.”
I could hear the dread in her voice when the topic turned to her father so I quickly promised that I was working on something and hung up. The here and now shouldn’t be too difficult, but Christmas Eve was beginning to feel like D-Day without a landing force.
I phoned my dad and filled him in on the situation, leaving out the problems with Candace’s dad. He had a chuckle at my expense and then promised to call Mrs. Jackson right away.
“And, dad! You don’t know about Candace’s little problem. You’re just a concerned dad who will look out after his daughter and her friend. Right?”
“Ten-four, boss! Honest, I understand, Janelle. I won’t make things more difficult for Candace. Promise.”
I waited for what seemed like forevvverrrr, when I finally had a call back from my Pops.
“It’s all set, honey. We will pick up Candace at 6:00pm Saturday. Let the boys know we will grab them at 6:30 and be at the theater about a quarter to seven. That should allow enough time for us to get seats for the 7:30 showing.”
“Oh, daddy! I love you!”
“I love you too, punkin. Just remember that you have to be good for Candace’s sake.”
“Like I’m going to let the first boy I go out with to get anywhere with me! I’m only thirteen.”
I heard muttering on the phone that sounded remarkably like, “As well as a genius and mature enough to double for a high school senior.” But that just might have been my Chaos enhanced hearing going on the fritz.
We say our goodbyes and I’m rapidly dialing Candace again.
“Hey, girl! All set?”
“Yeah. Mom came in sort of dazed just moments ago to tell me. She got a call from your father and didn’t really believe he was the police lieutenant until she called back to the station. I think she was impressed. Kind of hard for the boys to act up when a police officer is chaperoning.”
I could tell that Candace had mixed emotions over that. Yes, she was relieved that her secret would be safe, but she was also disappointed that this would probably be nothing more than a little kids’ get-together. I shared her emotions. How were we going to find out if we liked guys if we didn’t let them do at least a little on the date? I mean, a kiss would be nice…or it would be icky. I wanted a nice binary solution so that I could go from there. In between stuff would just be too confusing.
I called Don and he practically pissed himself as I told him it was set. He wasn’t quite so enthusiastic about my father the policeman being our chaperone, but he agreed that no one could say we were out of control with him around. I found myself promising to see if dad would be unobtrusive, like sit way back from us or something. Too bad I couldn’t get him to sit in another theater at the Cineplex, but he took his promises seriously. Nothing would happen to Candace–or me–on our date.
Friday dragged on. The only bright moment was when Don came by at lunch and sat with me. I could tell that some of the girls were surprised that such a geek was sitting with the new hottie, but that just made it even more special. After all, until two months ago, I was one of the geeks. Going out with a jock just did nothing for me. I found Don’s beautiful green eyes mesmerizing as he talked about a gaming club he was in. They did some online stuff and some in-person role player games. He invited me to the next meeting, which would be online on New Year’s Eve, and I found myself eagerly accepting. I wasn’t sure whether it was because of those eyes or because I liked gaming as well.
I wondered if I’d met any of his group online as Johnnie. At any rate, I would have to start new characters, since I was the new girl in town and couldn’t call on Johnnie’s assets. That would be a dead giveaway. Maybe I could get Don to “help” me, the noob without a clue? Strong man help out woman. The caveman scenario sounded so good I resolved to take it easy in that department. I might not like jocks, per se, but the strong supportive type was definitely my cup of tea.
“Maybe we can online together?”
Don’s comment derailed my current thoughts and I realized I’d missed whatever he had said just before the question. Probably about doing the New Years thing at the same physical location. My tummy fluttered when I realized that New Years and mistletoe went together and that any gaming party worth its name would last at least until midnight on a non-school night.
“Uh, sure. If you have a laptop you can come over to my house.”
“Great! It’s a date!”
A date? When had my casual offer turn into a date? We hadn’t even gone out on a first one and Don was planning his future battle plans. Well, Fortress Janelle was not so easily stormed, and there would be absolutely no Trojan horses welcomed into my keep!
Still, those green eyes were nice to look at.
I managed to break away before the second bell sounded and stumbled through my final classes of the day. I remembered my promise to visit Candace after school and let my mom know where I would be for a while. She said fine and asked me to call her if I wanted to stay at Candace’s for supper.
I rang the doorbell at the Jackson’s and waited impatiently, wondering if there would be further changes in the two days since I had seen Candace.
Sure enough, the cute girl who opened the door bore only a passing resemblance to the Candace I had left Wednesday afternoon. Her hair had been professionally styled and colored, giving it rich highlights and loose curls that framed her face nicely. And her ears were now pierced, the holes sporting simple studs for the moment. She had a totally new outfit on, consisting of a pink knit, scoop-necked sleeveless top over white shorts that fit her like a second skin. It was clear that Candace had decided to shave, as her legs were baby smooth and not even stubble appeared under her arms. On her feet were strappy sandals with two-inch block heels.
Candace had, beside the earrings, added some bright bangles, a cute watch and an ankle bracelet as well. But Candace’s attitude had changed even more than her look. There appeared no boy left in her. I decided that I would need to take lessons from my new friend, rather than the other way around.
Candace escorted me into her house, her mother appearing for a moment, obviously dazed at the pell-mell girl conversion her child was undergoing. Judging by Candace’s earrings, her mother had been swept up in the daughter’s tidal wave of enthusiasm, and for the moment, she did not remember the Christmas Eve dilemma. She had too much else to contend with.
On the way to Candace’s room, I once again confronted the problem of Mr. Jackson. Finally, a glimmer of an idea came to me. It was bold, it was daring, it just…might…work. The next moment I was swept up in a room that shouted GIRL from every angle.
“How, who?”
“Well, mom apparently had some money stashed away from an inheritance she had not told dad about. She loves him, she really does! And I love him, too. But some of his attitudes…even when I was nasty old Tom I didn’t like them very much. Mom says she never suspected I was a girl, but I don’t know. I think she knew something was different about me, in a way my dad couldn’t stand. She never told him just how much she got from her rich uncle. Her ‘rainy day’ fund, she calls it. Anyway, she said that I was going to have the room I wanted right away. Paid extra to have everything moved out and the room painted yesterday while we spent the day shopping. We bought new furniture and all my clothes over the last two days. Oh, and if you were wondering, mom took me to a specialty shop she found and bought me some gaffs. Know what those are?”
“Yeah,” I said, “I looked at those myself when I thought I was a boy, physically. I was even thinking of getting one when we found out the truth about me.”
“Well, now I can wear just about anything. Mom is having me fitted for real prosthetic breasts, at least until I can get a doctor to prescribe hormones and grow my own!”
“Whoa! You ARE a whirlwind, aren’t you, girl?”
Candace hugged me fiercely before continuing, “Janelle, I am happy for the first time that I can remember! I don’t want anything to get in my way now. Hormones for the time being and then surgery later when I can get it. Maybe even go to Europe to have it earlier than I can here. Mom’s inheritance is large enough for that. We’ve…talked about dad.”
Candace got up from where she had been sitting on her new four-poster bed, done up in shades of crá¨me and sheer white organza, which was a complement to the rich crá¨me walls. Most of her accents were in shades of pink, so the white and crá¨me were very welcome. Even I didn’t like pink as much as Candace obviously did!
“What have you decided?”
“Well, we’re still hoping for a miracle, but if dad can’t accept me…”
Candace did not have to finish her sentence. I knew how the rest of it went. I hugged her as fiercely as she had done with me, silently vowing to allow no harm to come to my new friend.
We talked about our upcoming date and what we would wear, so that we could coordinate. One thing was for sure, being a girl was a lot more complicated than being a boy!
I decided not to stay for dinner, as I was hoping to refine my idea on helping Candace with her dad. Then there was the issue with my Brother and Kylie that I had been completely ignoring the last few weeks. They had made no progress since last I checked on them and I knew that I would have to do something to help out. After all, it was my meddling that had made a bad situation worse. I was just having a real hard time figuring out how to help without tampering with the people involved. Talk about a dilemma!
I called it a night after mapping out what to do for Candace’s dad, hoping further inspiration came to me to help my brother.
“Janelle, are you ready yet? We are going to be late picking up Candace if you don’t hurry!”
“Coming, father!” I sang out as I descended the stairs.
My hair was swept over one shoulder to hang down in gentle waves of blond luxury. Yeah, I’d gone a honey blond, deciding that no one would call me a ditz after how fast I came up to speed at school and hung around with the smart kids.
I’d convinced my parents to allow me to wear a dress for the evening, a simple knee-length sheathe in emerald green. Okay, I know it sounds fancy already, but really! It isn’t all that! My makeup included a subdued eye shadow and a tad more blush than appropriate for daytime middle school. My lipstick (yes, lipstick!) was a light mauve that glistened deliciously. Mother had made me practice for an hour on how to apply and repair this new product, and then made sure I had Kleenex in my purse. “For the man, afterwards. And you, as well, until you can get to a restroom.” I’d blushed three shades of red and protested mightily, but mom was having none of it. She could see the questions behind my eyes and knew that I just might let Don get to first base.
Simple white pumps were all mom would allow me. They hardly had any heel at all! Next to Candace I would be a midget! Even Don would tower over me.
I swept out of the house in front of dad as if he had been the one keeping me waiting. That was a secret mom had divulged to me. Never let a man get his balance or he would be thinking he could tell you what to do. Dad hurried to catch up, muttering something about me being just like my mom. I hid my smile as I allowed my shining knight to open my door for me.
We made it to the Jackson’s with plenty of time and I made certain to give dad The Look, thereby letting him know that I knew that I had been right from the first and that we were in no way in danger of being late. Dad just sighed and got out to open my door for me. I rewarded him with a peck on the cheek, giggling as he hastily tried to wipe off the evidence. I’d been careful, but checked my makeup in my compact mirror before ringing the doorbell. When the door opened we were ushered into the foyer by a bemused Mrs. Jackson, clearly at a loss for words or thoughts.
Candace gracefully descended the stairs and I realized what had so affected her mother. Her makeup was definitely evening and would not have looked out of place on a girl going to her senior prom. She was stunning in a virginal white, a-line dress hemmed three inches above her knees. It wasn’t exactly a mini but I thought she was playing with fire here, especially on a first date. It wasn’t that far from the Promised Land for a wandering hand to encounter more than it should. To make matters worse, Candace was wearing white patent leather pumps with three inch, stiletto heels. She would definitely tower over me–and make me look like a little kid to boot with her sophisticated getup.
“Candace, are you sure you want to wear that?”
“Please, Janelle, it’s alright isn’t it? I...I convinced my mom that this was okay, but is it too over the top for a first date? I never had one as a guy and now…I guess I’m just making up for lost time.”
The pleading in Candace’s eyes got to me and I hugged her before telling her that she looked fine. I reminded myself that dad would be there and that Jerry seemed even more unsure of himself than Don. Still, in the future Candace would need to tone things down a bit for middle school. Maybe I could enlist Kylie for help? Of course, that led me into worry over her problem and I had to shake myself. Tonight was not the moment to solve Kylie and Roger.
We allowed our chauffeur to open our doors for us, the two girls in the back seat for now. My dad’s old Caddy would fit one couple on the front seat with him and one in back, once we picked up the boys. I was pretty sure than Don and I would be expected up front. I sighed as images of us cuddling evaporated from my mind. Then I remembered Candace’s dress and realized I’d be too busy riding mother hen over her to worry about cuddling!
We picked up the boys at Don’s house and made awkward introductions between Candace and Jerry. Jerry nearly tripped over a shoelace as he tried to help Candace into the car, nearly landing in her lap. He stammered abject apologies while doing his best to imitate a young Jerry Lewis. Poor boy! I felt like giving him a hug myself, and when Candace did just that, Jerry melted into her arms. I had to shout an “AHEM” at them before seat belts were engaged and decorum restored. Don was not much better in the front seat with me, still in a daze over his good fortune in finding such an intelligent and attractive girl who liked him. At least, I didn’t have to hug him back to health. Darn the luck.
The movie we went to was a blockbuster 3-D affair that blew us away over the special effects but left something to be desired plot-wise, even for 13-year-olds. Luckily, we did not have to concentrate on the plot. My father had found a seat quite a ways back, obviously trusting me to make good decisions. I couldn’t even see him from my seat. Hand holding led to arm snuggling and it wasn’t long after that that the first kiss just seemed to naturally happen. I kept our adventures above the neck, but pretty much surrendered to the new sensations, reveling in how someone else’s tongue in ones mouth was not actually icky. I DID have to let Don know that he did not impress me when he tried to plum the depths of my lungs with his moist appendage, but other than that, we definitely explored the possibilities of two people and two mouths. I came up for air every once in a while to check on Candace and Bean Pole, gratified to see that she was keeping her date in check as well.
I hated to miss any of the amazing technology–and human anatomy lesson–but finally called a girls’ visit to the powder room. We repaired makeup and visited the lavatories, swapped excited squees and generally admitted that boys were probably our thing. I think that Candace even liked the fact that her date was a bit awkward and by no means an octopus. It gave her breathing room for the time being and allowed her to grow into this dating thing. She admitted, looking at the other girls at the theater, that she should tone down her outfits for ordinary dates but I had to remind her that I wasn’t much behind her in glam for the evening. We both decided that we would do nice jeans and simple tops for a while so as not to give the boys the idea that we were nothing but Barbie dolls–or asking for more than what we were comfortable giving.
The movie finally came to a close and we cleaned up our dates and ourselves, quickly slipping into the women’s room again to fix the damage. I thought that I’d made it by dad unscathed but when I came out of the lavatory I saw the look on his face. There would be a lecture later, but for now he did not say a thing. I realized that he still knew I was being a good girl, even if a little bit naughty, and hadn’t done anything too scandalous. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized the lecture would probably not exceed an hour in length. Two at most.
We dropped off the boys with chaste kisses on the cheeks, but I was pretty certain that our innocent parting did not fool dad. I wasn’t getting out of a lecture that easily. We actually went in with Candace at her home and dad took Mrs. Jackson aside. Whatever he said seemed to satisfy her, though she seemed to be silently promising Candace a lecture similar to the one I expected at home. We were two chastened young ladies as we made our goodbyes, promising to meet before Christmas Eve.
“Oh! Dad, Mrs. Jackson, I really want Candace to stay the night Christmas Eve. I know that may not be tradition in your home, but it would be a real favor to me…and it would allow you to talk to your husband. You might even wait until Christmas morning to talk to him about…well, you know.”
I silently willed Mrs. Jackson to recognize the look on my face as being my promise to help solve their dilemma. She seemed to get the message and agreed to the stay over. Whether she believed I could actually do something–or just wanted Candace out of the house when she told her husband–didn’t matter. I had the time and opportunity I needed.
Now if I could only figure out what to do about Kylie and Roger…
The man that showed up at Kylie’s place Christmas Eve was handsome beyond anyone she had ever seen. If it hadn’t been for her love of Roger she would have been putty in his hands. That and the fact that Janelle had glamoured the fellow from who knows what. Her young friend had refused to divulge that information, making her swear that she would never mention the powers she had to anyone. Since shortly after Halloween night, Kylie had thought that Janelle might have the Chaos power from the Orb at her disposal. And when Janelle had appeared on her doorstep a day earlier with a promise to help, utilizing unspecified abilities, Kylie was certain of it. Still, she hesitated in using that power to make Roger see reason.
Janelle had no problem with that side of things, as long as it didn’t involve messing directly with Roger’s mind. She refused to force people like that, which reassured Kylie that her friend was not trying to play Dictator to the World.
After that, it was pretty easy to figure out what to do. What had stumped Janelle was old hat to Kylie. She had stood by for years as pretty girls threw themselves at Roger during his high school career. Now, all she needed was someone to make Roger jealous for a change. Janelle said she would have no problem doing that, promising a drop dead gorgeous guy to leave Roger sputtering.
The trap had been set, with one last detail to be attended to. Kylie phoned the Carter’s home at the specified time, trusting Janelle to ensure no one could pick up the call before the answering machine kicked in. “Sorry about missing you, Janelle. I’ve gone out with my date to Oscar’s for dinner. My cell phone is dead, so you’ll have to call his phone at…”
Blah, blah, blah.
Roger would be the one to get the call. He’d realize that he hadn’t promised to come over to Kylie’s that evening and that he’d only been by once since Winter Break began. He was terrified of what he would do to Kylie if things went too far. Now he would have to accept that he might be losing her.
Kylie had thought that there should be a series of get-togethers that escalated until Roger broke, but Janelle was convinced that one night would be all they needed for a man besotted by the woman escaping his grasp.
Kylie left with her date, pondering over the taxi at the curb until the hunk at her side replied that Kylie would hopefully be leaving Oscar’s on Roger’s arm. Still, it was a little disconcerting when her tall escort seemed to need to jump up into the seat next to her in the cab. And then at the restaurant he carefully avoided any direct contact with her or the waiters. Kylie wondered what was under the glamour sitting across from her in the candlelit restaurant.
“Well, girls, it’s getting towards bedtime. Can’t expect Santa to make his appearance if you are still up!”
Candace looked at me funny, easily conveying her thought that my dad was a slice shy of a loaf. Then she smiled and I knew she thought he was cute going on like that.
“He’s right, though,” I whispered to her. “Santa isn’t coming until we go to bed.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Remember, Candace? You know, your biggest wish of all? He can’t give it to you until you go to sleep.”
“Oh. Oh!” The light finally dawned in my friend’s eyes. She bustled off towards my room as I took a quick visit in the restroom.
“You want me to do what?!”
“You heard me Abby. I know you can do it. Think a little like Agent Black and be tough.”
“And you expect me to be tough looking like a pixy? I’m having a tough enough of a night just pretending to be a manly man as Kylie’s date! Now you’re splitting me in two for this fools errand–”
“It’s not a fools errand! Once you’ve managed the first part you can invoke the glamour I’ve arranged to continue my little theatrical production. By the end of the night, all should be well!”
“Riiiight! Okay, whatever! Your wish is my command, O’ Great One.”
I hated it when Abby went formal on me, but at least she was doing what I wanted her to do. I crossed my fingers as I hurried on to bed, praying for sugar plum dreams in the place of what could easily become nightmares.
“No I don’t have a reservation! My girlfriend is in there and I want to see her now!”
“Sir, if you don’t leave immediately, we will call the authorities.”
“That won’t be necessary, Alfred. I believe that the lady in question is right here with me.”
Roger glared at the 6’4” man with movie star looks, before turning hurt, puppy dog eyes toward Kylie.
“I…thought we had an understanding, Kylie?”
“What understanding? That you would ignore me while I dutifully waited for you? That you wouldn’t touch me as if I was…was diseased?!”
“That isn’t why I’ve been avoiding you, Kylie! I don’t want to hurt you!”
“So, you being with me is going to hurt me?”
“It’s not like that, Kylie! I’…I’m afraid I’ll hurt you…well, you know. By rejecting you.”
“Not going to happen with me around, my friend,” Tall, Dark and Handsome interjected.
“I’m not your friend, buddy! And stay out of this!”
“Roger! Stop behaving like a child! Now, give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave this restaurant with my charming date. And it had better be good!”
“What about this?”
Roger grabbed Kylie and bent her over at the waist, just like an old time movie star might do with his leading lady. He bent down with her and kissed her savagely, ignoring the sputtering maitre d’.
When they came up for air, Kylie managed to gasp that they might continue their efforts at her apartment.
This time, Roger did not hesitate.
The will-o’-the-wisp woke Paul Jackson from his troubled sleep. Ever since arriving home and hearing that Tom was over-nighting at a friends, he had been unsettled. Victoria wasn’t telling him something, and had even distracted him from visiting Tom’s room after dinner, using sex to bring him to their bed. Not that Victoria was exactly a prude, but she rarely initiated their play, even after a long separation. Paul had just about decided to get up on his own and satisfy his concern when his turning brought a faint glimmer to his partly closed eyes. The glimmer moved and slipped out the door to the master bedroom and faded down the hallway. Paul carefully got out of bed to avoid disturbing his wife and crept out to see if what he thought he had seen was more than just a midnight delusion. Sure enough, the glimmer bobbed down the stairs and continued into their basement. Having a basement was somewaht unusual for a Florida home, but something Paul had insisted on. The basement could be used for a refuge if the degenerates trying to take over the schools and government started rioting after the good, God fearing folk finally made a stand.
At least, that was what his pastor said. He preached that the degenerates from Hell would try to drag all people down with them. Paul wasn’t convinced of that, but he found all such perversions repugnant, so he continued to follow the Good Shepard Malachi and his flock. Victoria would have none of it and Paul had given up on Tom after the boy broke a stained glass window at their small church.
Paul recalled that he was following a flickering light and made haste to reach the basement stairs. Sure enough, it seemed to have waited for him before fading around the corner at the bottom of the stairs. Paul followed, wondering if he should have picked up his deer rifle on the way. He shook off the thought with a snort. Why bring a rifle to fight a bit of light? But then, if there was anything to the light, might he not need a weapon?
As Paul made the turn at the bottom he became aware that the light had transformed into a tiny little woman. She appeared to have delicate wings on her back and was quite voluptuous for her diminutive stature. Paul rubbed his eyes and shook his head. Either he was hallucinating or he was dreaming.
“I am the Ghost of Christmas Past,” intoned the pixy in a pipsqueak imitation of a much larger individual. “Oh, crap! I’m your ghost, Paul, and I’ve come for you. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Okay, I’m dreaming.”
The pixy heaved a sigh larger than her tiny body appeared able to support, jiggling assets that on a larger version would have bugged out Paul’s eyes, but on the pixy just made the staring man rub his tired orbs once more. She jumped to her feet and approached the doubting man, pulled back a fist the size of a Brussels sprout and sent it blurring at his midsection. Paul went flying as her tiny fist connected with the force of a martial artist’s staff, expertly wielded.
Stars danced in his vision and Paul tried vainly to get his breath back. When he could finally gasp out an intelligible thought he admitted to the tiny ghost’s reality. No dream could have hurt that much!
“Good! Now I will take you into a past. It is not yours, but it is a real past, filled with real people. We will visit many more before the night is through. We will do so until you see the light.”
The tiny ghost smirked. “Get it? The light? I came as a will-o’-the-wisp, a light, and now you must see the light before I let you go.”
Paul just stared stupidly at his nemesis, wishing for dawn to arrive.
“Oh, for crying out loud! No one appreciates a clever bit of dialog these days!”
The pixy reached for his hand and Paul flinched away to no avail. She caught his ham hand by one finger–all she could manage with her tiny paws–and dragged the protesting man through a wormhole into another dimension.
Owing to Janelle’s earlier preparations, Abby was able to utilize a glamour to make Paul believe he was traveling by mysterious means, while remaining safely in his basement hidey hole. The images that he would be exposed to were also glamours, concocted with what knowledge they had of events that, while real, would never be known in detail.
So the first scene that Paul encountered with his little aide was an apartment in Chicago, Illinois, over ten years in the past. There, sitting on a couch were two people. One, a beautiful young woman had been talking, but whatever she had said seemed to infuriate the man next to her.
He began beating the woman about her head and face. She screamed but he would not stop.
Paul had always been taught to protect women and what he saw made his blood boil. That creep would kill her! He moved forward and made a grab at the man, only to find empty air where the bastard had been standing. Paul backed away and once again saw the man as he continued beating the woman, now covered in blood and no longer recognizable as beautiful.
Paul turned to the pixy, furious at his impotence. “Let me help her! Don’t you care about what is happening?”
Tears ran down Abby’s face. She cared very deeply about what had happened that night. She remembered the news accounts of the time and, even in her world hating male persona, been disquieted and repulsed. It would only be after her transformation that she would truly understand the depth of her connection to those events. She would then know that the woman in that room could very well have been her–if only she had been so lucky to have found her way to the woman inside of herself on her own.
“Her name is Christian Paige. She was 24 when that man killed her for the crime of wanting to be what she truly was. Watch, Paul. Watch!”
Paul turned reluctantly to the scene before him, watching as the man used a large knife to plunge deeply into the defenseless woman’s body, time after time. The coroner would later say that any one of those cuts would have likely ended the poor woman’s life.
Paul turned back to Abby, pleading with his Ghost of Christmas Past to take him from the scene, but Abby would not relent.
“The room is aswim in blood now, Paul. I’ve always thought that color to be…quite beautiful. Don’t you agree that the room is so much more attractive now that a transwoman’s blood has been spilled?”
“What do you mean? That is a woman there, for God’s sake! How can you be so heartless?”
“No, Paul. She isn’t a woman. Not according to you and the false prophet you follow. ‘She’ is an abomination unto the eyes of your God. She is less than human, is she not?”
“No. No, I don’t mean it like that. Maybe she isn’t a real woman, maybe she is a pervert, but she doesn’t deserve to die like this! Tell me that at least the killer was caught and punished!”
“No, Paul. I cannot, for that would be a lie. The killer was never caught. Isn’t it fitting that the righteous hand of God should not be stayed by man?”
Paul stood before his tutor, numb from the visions of violence. Unable to think any further.
“Come, Paul. We have much more to see this night.”
“Please, no. I beg of you. It’s not like there are many of that type. How many murder victims can you show me? No, I do not wish to see more, even if you can! They’re misguided souls, but they do not deserve that! I’ve learned my lesson.”
“Oh, Paul,” Abby tsked, “I think not.”
Paul wished heartily that he could only remember his scream of anguish as the ghost took him onwards, but he remembered much, much more.
When next Paul was aware that he stood in his basement it seemed as if an eon had gone by. An eon in Hell, where monsters preyed on those who only wanted to live as they knew they must. Murder and rape followed murder and rape until Paul literally puked his guts out. Unseen by him, Abby had to quickly corral the evidence before he came to for the next act of their little Christmas Carol. She was waiting for him, this time clothed in the glamour of a happy Father Christmas.
Despite the reservations she had voiced with Janelle, she could see Paul’s spirit breaking down. Unlike the Carol of renown, the worst had begun the evening and had taken its toll. Or had it been the worst? Only time, and a couple of ghosts, would tell.
“Onward, my good fellow! Onward! The night is still young and you have much to see!”
It was telling that by this time Paul no longer protested his guide’s enthusiasm. He followed Father Christmas as the jolly man led him through a portal once more, never realizing his feet moved him through a small circle in the middle of the basement. Images flashed past and then settled on a theater where two young girls were enjoying a movie with their dates. Or, rather, they were enjoying their dates with a movie. Despite being much older, Paul found himself growing slightly aroused by their innocent passion.
“Do you know who you look upon, Master Paul?”
“How should I know? I’ve never seen them before in my life.”
“Oh, please! How can you deny your own child?”
“What are you talking about? Neither of the boys is Tom!”
“You hide from the truth, even after all you have been shown? Look closely at the girl on the right, the one kissing the tall and awkward boy. She seems much too pretty to be going out with someone like him, yes? Attractive people should only date attractive people? And those born as boys must never, ever think of themselves as girls and think to date boys, now should they?”
“Well, yes. I guess. This night has so confused me, ghost! I don’t know what to think! Now you say my boy is there before me but all I see are two strangers dating a couple of attractive young girls. I can’t think straight. Just tell me what you mean and be done with me!”
“Better than that, my good man. Better than that! I will show you!”
With that they were off, winging across the cosmos to a house so very familiar to Paul. At the door were the two girls and a man Paul recognized as the police Lieutenant of their little burg. The door opened and Victoria welcomed one of the girls in as if she was her daughter, inviting the others in as well. Paul watched as the girl ascended the stairs and approached Tom’s room. Opening the door, she entered, pulling Paul along in her wake as if he was the phantasm and not her. Paul did not recognize the room he entered, as it was completely redecorated. All frills and lace and girly touches. A vanity replaced Tom’s seldom-used desk, with lighted mirror and cosmetics arrayed as if for battle.
The bewildered man watched as this beautiful creature began to disrobe, carefully hanging her dress in the closet before removing her bra to reveal a flat, boy-like chest. She continued down until Paul, unable to look away, saw that the girl was not a girl. “She” dressed for bed, in a sheer nightgown and cotton panties. Removing her makeup at the vanity, her face finally took on some semblance of her true sex. Despite the haircut and earrings, Paul could now see that the child readying for bed was his son, Tom.
“No! No! This is not happening! You show me lies, spirit! My son is not a…a…”
“A perversion of nature? An abomination?”
Father Christmas laughed his deep belly laugh as he looked upon the devastated man. “You prideful, arrogant, little man! Who are you to say what is God’s will? You see before you a daughter you never knew you had. Her name is Candace and she loves you dearly, though her fear of your anger is almost too much for her to bear.”
Father Christmas turned away from Paul. “Come, little man. My work is done this night. I will leave you in the hands of the Ghost of Christmas Future. Heed his words as you may. They are but the truth.”
With that, Paul found himself alone in the basement. The light grew dim, and what Paul had thought to be mere shadow resolved itself into a dark spectre. Paul fell to his knees, knowing what this latest apparition meant. It was too much, just…too much.
“This can’t be happening! Please, go away! This is all in my mind. I’m dreaming, only dreaming.”
The spectre pointed to Paul’s stomach and gestured. He knew what the ghost wanted, but he could not bring himself to do it.
“Alright, you win,” he said in abject surrender. “Under my shirt is a bruise forming of a tiny fist, courtesy of the Ghost of Christmas Past. I can feel it even now. The pain in my gut is not only due to the scenes you ghosts have revealed me.”
Paul drew himself up straight, determined to take like a man what the ghost had to show him.
The scene shifted once more, returning to that feminine room that once was Tom’s. He was there, or rather a future Paul Jackson was, all filled with rage and screaming at Candace that she was really Tom and a perversion of nature. He would harbor no abomination under his roof. Victoria was there as well vainly trying to get him to back away from the cowering figure huddled on the bed.
It was finally too much for Candace and she ran tearfully from the room, dragging a little daypack with all that she had apparently been able to gather through the raging tirade of her father's. She ran down the stairs and out the front door. Paul followed and yelled at the top of his lungs that he had no child and that the creature leaving his house must never come back. With a violent slam of the door, Paul turned to his wife and glared at her, daring the woman to say a single word. She did not. Victoria slowly walked back upstairs and closed the bedroom door in his approaching face. The knob was locked when he tested it. Future Paul turned away to make his bed in the basement, safe from the perversions of the world.
The scene shifted. Victoria was leaving the house, her bags packed. Paul silently watched from a window as the love of his life walked away to a waiting cab. The car was in his name and she would have nothing to do with anything of his.
She turned around just before she got into the cab. “I’ll find her,” she shouted at the house, “you’ve made her hide from us. She’s changed her name, but I will find her. You will not destroy her life as well!”
Another scene. Candace was talking to some friends when a man came up and began to scream at her about being a fairy. She shot back that he had liked her plenty good the other night, to which her friends laughed the angry man away. The group broke up eventually, Candace returning to her nearby apartment. Paul watched as the inattentive girl forgot to lock and bolt the door, merely sliding the flimsy privacy chain onto its catch. It would not be enough. Paul knew it would not be enough and he screamed at his daughter more loudly than the angry man had. He screamed until he grew hoarse. He screamed until the man broke through the chain and came into the room that held his precious child.
The spectre stood at his side and would not let him look away.
Paul came to his senses gradually, feeling the pain in his belly from all that had gone on that horrid Christmas Eve. He was reeling from the onslaught that he had been forced to endure. Somehow he found the will to make it out of the basement, pausing a moment before trudging slowly up the steps to the second floor. He thought to pass Tom’s room and continue on to a bed that he desperately wished to collapse in, but found he could move not a step further.
His hand moved of its own volition to open the door he had not entered since going on his last long haul. Inside he saw the room presented to him by the Ghost of Christmas Present. It was exactly as in the vision. It was all true. He no longer had a son.
But he had a daughter and he would be damned before he saw his child brutally murdered for only being what she was on the inside!
Paul noticed that the first rays of Christmas morning were lighting the sky through Candace’s bedroom window. Energy flooded him with new determination and he strode to the master bedroom.
“Woman! How could you keep Candy from me? I want my daughter back here as soon as we can go and collect her!”
Victoria woke up with a start. It took her several moments, precious moments to understand that her husband knew about Candace and actually wanted her in his life. With that knowledge came joy and she kissed him with abandon, only desisting when her husband managed to break away.
“We’ve time for that and much more, my dear! But for now I want to collect my daughter. I’ve been a fool too long and will not waste another moment of our lives in that state.”
On their way out to the car she passed right by the invisible pixy, slowing as she sensed some stray air current.
“If you’re here somehow, Janelle, or if you’ve sent someone to help us…thank you! Thank you ever so much!”
The two swept out the front door, leaving the pixy to her thoughts. Abby dusted off her palms and made sure the front door was properly locked. Her job was done and all was well on this truly wonderful Christmas day.
“Damn, that was a long night!”
We often ask of the world, ‘What has life given me?’ This is my answer. It isn’t especially poetic and it isn’t particularly dramatic. It’s just life. My life.
Where is My Gift?
|
My parents had dreadful arguments when I was young. They made no sense to me at the time, though perhaps I have lied to myself all these years. Perhaps I knew all along that the words they used were simply a cover to “protect” us children, that my father’s infidelities were somehow known to us despite the terrible rage diverted towards minor faults, rather than confronted head on.
All I know is that I lived in dread that my parents would eventually divorce over…something…
In those days, I hid my head under a pillow, an ostrich hiding in the sand. I escaped into science fiction and fantasy. I fled from everyday details and memories. The arguments grew worse and my home life seemed to lose any cause and effect chronology. I have little recollection of those years.
There was, however, one thing I definitely knew in those days. My father treasured my sisters. He loved us all, but I knew deep down in my bones that I was not a treasure. I was a boy and I would never grow breasts.
I cried myself to sleep many a night over that fact, yet I never connected the dots. I thought I was weird and perverted. I dressed on occasion, but almost always for my budding sexual gratification. It was only after many years of denial that I realized that a large part of me wanted to be truly female. It was not just a perversion brought on by my father’s favoritism of the girls.
Sometimes I wonder how I might have reacted if given the magical opportunity to become a woman, rather than grow into a tall and gawky man who could not possibly pass for a woman. It would have taken a great deal of courage on my part, for I was very attracted to women. I had yet to explore the tender feelings I have on my feminine side, ones that just might welcome a strong and caring nurturer, whatever the sex.
In that day and age, to become a woman attracted to other women would have been a double hardship, and I was seldom one for accepting hardship. No, I experienced my father’s disappointment in me on an almost daily basis, but the ordinary failures of daily life paled before the failure to be a gift my father could treasure. And if I could never succeed at that most important endeavor, why bother at all?
As I neared adulthood I clung to various fragments of religion and philosophy to give meaning to my life. I needed purpose, or I just could not go on. I was throwing up barriers against the uncertain world I felt all around me. It was violent and irrational, just as my experience of home life had seemed to me.
And one by one, those barriers crumbled before the onslaught of reality.
The world wasn’t rational and it wasn’t serene and what people said was almost always a smokescreen for what they wished to hide.
I didn’t understand my reactions in the words I now use. I didn’t understand those reactions at all. They were visceral emotions to world and life events that seemed as incomprehensible to me as my parents’ fights in my youth.
This was not to say that my life was one only of pain. Far from it. The majority of humanity has experienced more hardship than I, and I knew it. How pathetic, I thought, to feel so badly about a life that was not all that terrible.
With my fragile barriers weakening, I lost the small amount of resiliency that I had. I began to sink into self-pity. I realized that fact, and despised myself all the more for it. Drinking, which had once been a rare social activity, gradually turned into a daily necessity.
Even then, I never fell as far as many I have met. I did not go to jail, nor did my wife leave me. I found AA before any of that could occur. Now, you might think that I will tell you of God about now, and how He/She saved me.
I will not.
I did find purpose in life, however.
It was in recovery that I discovered just how my younger years had shaped me. And it was only after several years of sobriety that I realized my transgender side. I won’t go into details here. Let it suffice that I learned much and have accepted that I will live that side of my personality primarily through my imagination.
I could tell you of all the gifts I have received in sobriety. I could talk of how I learned that I could thrive while working on the road to support my family. I could speak of all the great people who sincerely wish to help those in need, or of the new-born baby that came into our lives the very day I returned from those years on the road. I could speak in terms of religion and providence.
But I will not.
I will say only this: if you ask “Where is my gift?” you are asking the wrong question. You are doomed to disillusionment and despair. But if you ask what you can give to others you will know joy and happiness beyond what even the richest men in the world have experienced. I learned this lesson, and now practice it in my life, however imperfectly. Whenever I grow discontented I invariably discover that I’ve been thinking selfishly. And when I grow frightened over an irrational and destructive world, I remember that I am not in charge of making life fair. My job is to give of myself to others.
It is the only path to happiness that I have discovered.